Episode 1000576493884

0:55 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

0:58 Voiceover Listen to discretion as advised.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04 Voiceover I'm Adam. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, Something Corporate. Our good friends, they have Something Corporate in here today. Brian, William, and Andrew, I got a cold. That's nice. Yeah. All right, I'm feeling good. I'm trying to get a cold pill happening here. I'm sure it's coming. It's amazing. You'd think there'd be some of those floating around here, all the drugs and radio stations. Yeah.

1:37 Drew You get some cocaine, you can't get Sudafed.

1:40 Adam See what we can do. The CD is called North. It's coming out tomorrow, right? Yes. Yeah. These guys are going to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live tomorrow as well. You guys haven't done that show yet, have you?

1:53 No. This will be our first time.

1:54 Adam Where are you playing? Playing outdoors in the lobby or on the stage? Oh, outdoors.

1:58 Something Corporate We're doing the outside stage.

1:59 Adam In the back. That's a nice little tip of the hat.

2:04 We heard there's an open bar.

2:06 Adam Yeah.

2:07 Something Corporate It's been rumored.

2:07 Looking very forward.

2:10 Adam It's really cool. It's a big, it's a whole parking lot. Well, Drew, you've been out there, right?

2:13 Drew It's great. That's not without the open bars in the front, though, right?

2:16 Adam Yeah. Well, in the bottom and the whole place is an open bar.

2:19 Drew The whole theater. Yes, yes.

2:21 Adam Yeah. So you can look forward to seeing Something Corporate on there, on Jimmy's show tomorrow. These guys are going out on tour. No, wait. They're done with their tour.

2:31 Something Corporate Well, actually, we leave, we go on 28th. We leave for a headlining tour for a couple months.

2:36 Adam That's what I was saying until Drew cut me off.

2:39 Drew You were just out with Good Charlotte, right?

2:41 Something Corporate Yeah. We went out with them for a few weeks.

2:42 Adam Good people, Good Charlotte.

2:44 Drew That's why I cut you off, Adam, was to make that point.

2:46 Adam I can't. I'm angry at the sun. I'm angry at God. You guys just got back from New York. It is so goddamn hot in this city. And it's sort of, I just realized, because it was about 102 today, which is hot. But if you grew up out here, it's not that hot, not by summer standards. But I realized, I started, I put on my winter coat. You know what I mean? Like I started growing my back hair and ass hair. I got a fine layer of blubber on me.

3:18 Drew You stopped shaving it.

3:19 Adam Metabolism started slowing down. I started going into like what happens to bears when they hibernate. I started loading up on salmon and I was really focusing. You know, I was making the move toward the cave and then all of a sudden, pow, someone put a magnifying glass in front of the sun and now I'm miserable. I'm walking around. I'm talking to myself. I'm walking to the car and my mouth is moving.

3:43 God damn it.

3:44 Adam What's going on? What is this? What's the meaning of this?

3:48 How do I get to the bottom of this?

3:49 Adam I'm angry. Anything that's hot is bothering me and I go into my house and the air conditioning is broke down and I'm melting and the fan is blowing and I'm going insane. These guys are from Dana Point, which is really like the biosphere. It's like Constance 72.

4:07 We think it's so nice to come home from Albany and come into summer again.

4:12 Something Corporate Just feeling the heat actually felt good getting off the plane, but I can see how it could get old after a few days.

4:18 Drew I got off the plane in Orange County.

4:21 It's a little bit cool.

4:23 Adam My fantasy is for you guys to bring a hefty bag full of Albany weather in and I can just stick my head into it and then I rub duct tape around my neck and then die. Happily, happily. Happily die. Satisfied with the look of content on my face.

4:39 Something Corporate The Albany weather sucked. It was miserable.

4:43 Adam Can't we have a drop of rain? Can't we have some weather? I'd like to see some lightning. You know what I mean?

4:52 Drew We haven't had it in about five years.

4:54 It's just nothing.

4:55 Adam A little wind, a little lightning, a tree fall over, maybe a farmer's house gets swept away. Drew, Drew, you got to sock your mic. Every night, every night.

5:06 Something Corporate You made him angry.

5:07 Adam Right in the middle of one of my weather jacks.

5:09 Drew I was excited.

5:10 Something Corporate All right.

5:10 Adam Well, what are we talking about with Something Corporate? We're going to hear something off the new CD again called North and just a couple of a few. All right. What do we miss? Are we going to the phones? Am I boring you, Drew? No one ever answers that way, but you should. You know, when you're yawning, people will go, Am I boring you, Mr. Corolla? Yeah, as a matter of fact. Hence the yawn. Jeremy?

5:37 Yeah.

5:38 Adam You're 15.

5:39 Caller I am 15. If you're feeling hot, I think you should try one of those back misters that goes around your neck.

5:45 Adam Oh, yeah. Do those things work?

5:48 Caller Well, I tried one on, like there was something like K-Mart or something like that. It had like a display model. Yeah, it was, I don't know, okay.

5:56 Adam Evidencia, did you feel like an old person whose doctors warned them about having a possible stroke or seizure, like when you're going out with stuff on? You know, like those Mexican women who walk out with the umbrella, dragging the grocery cart, like at a certain point. Haven't we evolved past that?

6:12 Caller Maybe in the privacy of your own home.

6:14 Adam Yeah, all right, Jeremy. You're bothering me. What's up?

6:16 Caller All right, then. All right, I wanted to ask you about the bases. I know you've explained it a few times, but I'm a little, I don't know, I'm a little iffy on it. I just want to hear your input, because I respect you guys a lot.

6:27 Adam Well, the base, oh, the base, like first base, yeah, first base is kissing, right? Making out. Making out.

6:34 Something Corporate Maybe some heavy padding? Light padding.

6:40 Adam You can put a hand on the thigh. You can also, stand up, Drew, let me.

6:44 Something Corporate No.

6:45 Adam You can also clasp your hands behind the back and the smaller back, but no cheek grabbing. I think we can all agree that second base is a dry anal rape, right, Drew, yes, okay. Third base is, that's where you actually defecate on the corpse and use the fecal matter for lubrication and then, that's what I remember from elementary school, home run is auguring out the ear with a inch and three quarter drill bit and actually going for the skull F.

7:21 Caller What we're seeing, me and my friend have a little, so there you go, I mean it's changed a little since I was in high school.

7:26 Something Corporate It's a little different up to this way.

7:27 Adam It's a little different, yeah.

7:28 Caller We got a little debate here, which base is the whole Boner territory?

7:32 Drew The what?

7:33 Caller The Boner territory. Is it the second or is it the third?

7:37 Something Corporate I'll have one on the way to first.

7:38 Caller Yeah, I mean on the way to first. I've gotten a Boner just talking on the phone, for god's sakes.

7:43 Drew You're leaving the batter's box with that, I believe, right? Yeah, you're on deck with the Boner.

7:48 Adam Yeah. What do you mean it's the Boner base? What does that mean?

7:51 Caller Well, the Boner, I mean really lift off, you know? That's what I'm talking about. I mean, would you say first or second?

7:56 Drew What are you talking about?

7:58 Caller It's kind of subjective out of things. Well, you're a guy, man.

8:00 Something Corporate I mean, what are you thinking?

8:01 Caller Just wear it proud, man.

8:04 Caller Sometimes just watching the game on TV.

8:06 Adam Yeah, sometimes. All right, Jeremy, I don't know what your question is. You can have a boner in gym class, for Christ's sake.

8:15 Caller Yeah, but I'm just saying what is...

8:17 Adam All right, I'm tired of Jeremy. Start off with the neck cooler. Now he's on the pain in my neck now. All right, so we straighten out the bases, right? Once and for all? All right.

8:29 Something Corporate I think you got them down.

8:30 Adam Yeah, I think that's it. Like I said, they've ratcheted it up just a little bit since we were in high school, but I think we'd all agree on it. God knows where it's going to be when your kids are old enough to run the bases, Drew.

8:41 Drew Could be a one and a half inch auger bit.

8:45 Adam Oh, it's going up. Michael?

8:48 Drew Hi.

8:49 Adam Hey, hey.

8:50 Hey, Drew.

8:50 Drew Adam.

8:51 Longtime listener, first time caller.

8:52 Adam Great.

8:53 Caller Something Corporate.

8:54 Love your music.

8:55 Caller Thanks, man. And Dr. Drew.

8:58 Love your book.

9:01 Drew I love the show.

9:03 Caller I love the show.

9:06 Drew I love the show. I love the show. I read the goddamn reviews we will put up on Amazon.

9:12 Adam Yes.

9:12 Drew Which of course, you know how I am, drives me insane.

9:14 Adam Yeah, why do you do that?

9:15 Drew It's so stupid. But more importantly, it really drives me crazy when people don't understand the point of the stories I was telling.

9:44 Adam You don't have to stab yourself with a piece of rusty rebar, just you're a couple of pills away.

9:48 Drew Yeah, you're right.

9:50 Adam I'm sorry, Michael.

9:51 Yeah, hi. Basically, I wanted to ask Dr. Drew about pearly peanut papules. What are they? I haven't heard you talking about those in a while.

10:00 Drew Nobody's asked about those in a while, and they're basically little papules, usually around the head of the penis, they're symmetrically distributed around.

10:06 Caller I had that.

10:07 Drew They can also be down on the shelf.

10:09 Caller I really did.

10:09 Drew They're basically sebaceous, the sort of sebaceous glands that I've heard of.

10:13 Adam How did you get them out?

10:14 Caller They just went away.

10:15 Drew Or they stay.

10:16 Caller Well, yeah.

10:17 Adam Or they stay.

10:18 Caller I mean.

10:18 Something Corporate But I was like, let me check.

10:20 Caller I'm a bit embarrassed to say, but I mean you can either scratch them off or they'll just go away.

10:26 Drew Or they'll stay.

10:27 I thought they get more numerous as you get older.

10:29 Drew I read somewhere. They can. They can. Or they can go away.

10:32 Caller Mine went away.

10:32 Drew Again, some people think they're warts because they're just the little pearly looking little bumps.

10:36 Caller But they freaked me out, I'll tell you that. Where do you get them from?

10:40 Drew Just nothing.

10:41 Something Corporate They've got a great name, I think.

10:43 Adam Yeah.

10:43 Something Corporate Pearly, peanut, fabulous, pretty excellent name.

10:45 Drew A lot of a nice poetry.

10:46 Something Corporate Alliteration.

10:47 Drew Alliteration.

10:47 Adam What do you say? You scoop them out?

10:49 Drew No, that's the molluscum contagiosum. That's different.

10:52 Adam How do you get those out?

10:53 Drew That's you scoop out and those are viruses.

10:55 Adam Yeah.

10:55 Drew You burn liquid nitrogen.

10:57 Adam I think it's safe to say that sometimes you get lesions and things that are dangerous on your skin, and then other times you get things that are almost like bubble wrap or it's actually fun just to go at it. You know what I mean? That's God's way. That's like Nintendo on your thigh. You know what I mean? Like once in a while.

11:17 Drew Buy on Nintendo.

11:18 Something Corporate Little natural Nintendo.

11:19 Adam I got like a little like, I don't know, I haven't done it in a while, but I had like an old zit on my back or something where once every four months I could squeeze it and toothpaste would come out of it. Nobody saw it. It didn't look bad. You couldn't tell. There was no danger in it. It was just my little secret.

11:36 Something Corporate And you got to have fun with it every day.

11:37 Adam It was a good time, yeah. It was like someone just taking a Rubik's Cube or an Etch-a-Sketch or something, just building it into you, like something to do.

11:45 Drew That's sebaceous, Sess.

11:47 Adam I got to get another one of those.

11:48 Drew When the work went out for you, they're going, you got one to work on?

11:52 Adam Mine's like dried up or something. Nothing's going. You want to see if you can find it? Yeah, it's like it's dried up or.

11:58 Something Corporate This is a little weird, Adam. This is pretty entertaining right here.

12:01 Adam It was somewhere around here somewhere.

12:02 Something Corporate You guys can't see this, but it's.

12:07 Adam Is that red?

12:07 Something Corporate Yeah.

12:08 Adam Well, that's been there for a while, but that's not it.

12:10 Caller That's just been there for a while.

12:12 Adam Yeah, Drew's on my back. What do you got there, buddy? Hey, how about a reach around while you're back there? Can you see anything?

12:19 Drew The rusty trombone.

12:20 Adam Nothing? No. No, that weird like a zit thing, it's been there for like a month, hasn't moved. It's not moving.

12:27 Drew Take care of it.

12:28 Adam Well, what is it?

12:29 Drew Lancet.

12:30 Adam Well, I can't. I can't get a good angle on it.

12:33 Drew I got one.

12:34 Adam Oh, you got a pin?

12:35 Something Corporate Oh, this would be good.

12:36 Adam Yeah, have at it. If you can go get something, sure. But Drew, what am I supposed to do with this thing? It's a little red bump.

12:42 Drew I think that's your little toothpaste producer.

12:45 Adam It is. Really?

12:47 Drew Yeah, it's just sort of sealed up now.

12:48 Adam Well, get a pin. Let's have at that thing. Have you all solved my skinness? I get a lot of nice comments on that, I really do. The fellas especially. Drew, I said if you can rustle up a pin, we'll Lancet it.

13:00 Drew I'll do it during the break, I'll get it.

13:01 Adam Because here's the thing, what are you supposed to do? This is like a red mark there for like a month and a half and it's not going anywhere. It's not coming to a head. There should be some kind of medication you could take called like bring it on. Like there's so many medications that get rid of zits. How about one when a zit is sort of on the cusp for like a month?

13:20 Something Corporate Take it to its potential.

13:20 Adam Yeah, let's go. Let's get it.

13:22 Caller The worst when they're underneath and they're like, you know.

13:24 Caller Yeah, that's what he's talking about.

13:25 Adam Yeah, I think what that is. Drew, you think you can get that? Really? And there's no white. There's no head on it, though.

13:32 Drew But I can feel it's a little, it's got stuff in it.

13:34 Adam There's something there, but there's no head.

13:36 All right.

13:37 Adam Well, use like a ballpoint pen or make a shiv in shop class or something.

13:42 Drew Radio stations don't have razor blades around anymore.

13:44 No, it's because they used to splice and they used to do cocaine and diet.

13:49 Something Corporate That's where I was going.

13:50 Adam We're going to work this out. We got a question for the band. Let's see if I can find a pin. Heather? You're 21? What's up?

14:00 Caller I actually just had a question for Something Corporate.

14:03 Something Corporate Go for it.

14:04 Caller What was the inspiration for this song, I Won't Make You?

14:09 Something Corporate You know what? Truthfully, Josh, who wrote that song, isn't in the house today, so I don't think we can answer that for you. It's about love. I couldn't say for sure, so I apologize, Heather.

14:22 Caller Who is there?

14:23 Something Corporate We got Will, Ryan, and me, Andrew.

14:26 Caller You know who I am, don't you?

14:28 Something Corporate Yes, I do, Heather. Oh, hey, Heather. How are you?

14:32 Drew You're fat.

14:34 Adam Please. She's playing the odds.

14:40 Something Corporate Thank you. Thank you, Heather. How did you get it, Heather? I mean, it doesn't come out till tomorrow. I'm just kidding. I'm totally kidding.

14:46 Caller Well, we called the RIA.

14:47 Something Corporate We just bought it. That's awesome.

14:49 Adam It's after.

14:50 Something Corporate Oh, yeah.

14:52 Caller Oh, Heather.

14:55 Something Corporate I appreciate that. Thank you, Heather.

14:58 Adam Yeah, good times there, baby doll.

14:59 Caller I was just kidding about the penis disease, too.

15:02 Adam This is a good time to hear a song.

15:05 Drew Sorry, do we get a pin? Yeah.

15:06 Adam Where are you going to find a pin around here?

15:09 Drew Find one.

15:10 Caller It's got to be like a safety pin or something.

15:11 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, anything will work. Yeah, and I'm not picky. You don't have to sterilize it or anything.

15:16 Drew Let's pull a nail out of the wall.

15:18 Adam Yeah.

15:18 Something Corporate I got some pretty sharp fingernails, you know?

15:20 Adam Yeah, well, that'll be last resort.

15:23 Caller I don't know if you're going to need... I mean, I haven't seen it. I wasn't over there. But a lot of times with the back skin, you can really get under it.

15:31 Adam This one's been sitting in the same spot for like six weeks, just a red mark with a little bump on it. It's almost like a superfluous nipple. It's got a nipple on my back.

15:42 Something Corporate Maybe it's a third nipple.

15:42 Adam Let's hear a song. We'll do the 28-day spot after we hear the song from Something Corporate, all right? New CD is called North. It is out tomorrow. Producer Ann has brought Dr. Drew a thumbtack.

18:56 Drew Yeah, and your man body is producing a little stuff on the skin here, dude.

19:01 Something Corporate There's a medical procedure about to occur in this video.

19:04 Adam All right, Drew, hold on, Drew, shove me around. Okay, I got something on my back. I don't know if you call this it. Would you call that a zit?

19:11 Drew No, it's a sebaceous cyst.

19:12 Adam It's a cyst? It's not that big, though, and it doesn't have a white head on it. Drew's sticking a tack in it right now. Did you get it? Is it going?

19:21 Drew He's twisting.

19:23 Adam Drew, is it pussing?

19:25 Drew Not yet, it will.

19:26 Adam It will? Yeah, when you hit my liver, it will. That's good. Ow.

19:33 Caller Is it in there?

19:34 Adam What's going on?

19:37 Something Corporate What do you mean, not yet?

19:38 Adam What's he been doing?

19:43 Drew I'm trying to do it without...

19:44 Adam Is that at all painful? No, no, you got to stick... It's not like I'm going to fall asleep.

19:49 Caller That's like stuff you learn in...

19:50 Adam I don't have a boner if that's what you're asking.

19:52 Something Corporate You're not on your way to first.

19:55 Adam Ow! Jesus, where are you, Drew? That hurt.

19:58 Caller What's the difference between a cyst and a pimple?

20:01 Adam A pimple would have popped by now. Maybe a half hour ago. Drew, what is going on over there?

20:07 Drew Relax.

20:08 Adam Did you get anything out of there? No, you didn't get anything.

20:12 Drew We really need like a scalpel.

20:13 Adam I told you, you're not getting anything.

20:15 You pansy!

20:17 Adam Yeah, I know you could if I was dead. You just got a running start with that goddamn thing. What else? Drew, what are you doing?

20:26 Drew Relax.

20:27 Adam Alright, but you're doing it with a thumbtack. Drew, don't you have a kit in your car for Christ's sake?

20:34 Caller The black bag.

20:35 Adam Ow!

20:36 Drew Here we go.

20:37 Something Corporate Oh, wow.

20:38 Adam Is something happening?

20:40 Ow! Did he get it?

20:41 Something Corporate Oh, my God.

20:42 Adam Did anything come out?

20:43 Caller A little bit.

20:45 Adam A little bit? I told you. Now marked. Look at me. You know I like to go shirtless during the week. This is going to be humiliating at work. Ow! Ow! Yeah, see nothing.

20:58 Caller There's a lot of red.

20:59 Something Corporate That's not what you want your doctor to say.

21:00 Caller There's a lot of blood on that cloth.

21:02 Adam Alright, now I got the aids. Alright, I got to sue it. And Drew has the aids. We both have the aids. One of us had it going in, but I don't know who it was. Alright, where are we? And give me this thing. Drew, what do you got there? Did you get anything?

21:15 Drew I'm taking a break.

21:15 Adam No, you got nothing. You got nothing.

21:17 Drew Very little.

21:18 Adam That's what I'm saying. I'm very unrewarding to pot.

21:22 Drew Really? You're making me mad.

21:24 Adam Sorry buddy. Take it out of my side. Alright, let me just do this 28 Days Later promotion and then we can see if we can find something sharper.

21:33 Something Corporate Alright.

21:34 Adam Here's the deal. Everyone who calls this show and gets on the air tonight will get a DVD of the horror film 28 Days Later, available on DVD October 21st. When is that?

21:45 Something Corporate Tomorrow.

21:45 Adam Today? Tomorrow?

21:47 Something Corporate Tomorrow is coming up on us.

21:49 Adam Alright. It's got three alternative endings and you'll qualify to win a room at the Hard Rock Hotel Casino in Las Vegas from the time you arrive until 28 Days Later. So, when do you arrive, Drew? The winner will be drawn on the 23rd.

22:05 Drew 26th. Announced on the 26th.

22:08 Adam Oh, announced on the 26th. Yeah, you go to the Hard Rock, you get the room for a month, basically, 28 days. Yeah, good times, huh?

22:14 Something Corporate Hard Rock's a pretty good place to be for a while.

22:16 Adam Just enough time for my back to heal. Alright, let's take ourselves a little break. Drew, I'm going to go look at myself in the mirror and then I'm going to find an attorney. We'll be right back after this.

22:27 Hello, this is your radio.

22:36 Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself. Call toll-free 1-866-344-KNOW.

23:08 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Brian, William, and Andrew, all here from Something Corporate. Well, this is the second time Drew has tried to lance something on my body, and both times, goose eggs, my palm.

23:26 Drew Oh, yeah, that was bad.

23:27 Adam Tried to put that small bore needle into my palm.

23:30 Drew Very unsatisfying.

23:31 Adam That didn't work out too good. Now this one, nothing.

23:34 Drew I did get some fluid out of you though, didn't I? Yeah.

23:36 Adam I wet my pants. I was in such pain. That's the only fluid I got. And a little semen. A little semen. Because whenever you're being handled by another man.

23:44 Something Corporate Something a little exciting about this.

23:45 Adam Yeah. I mean, let's face it. We're human beings first. I don't believe we're all heterosexual, homosexual. We're sort of right at the fence in there. You know what I mean? Maybe I've said too much. But I mean, Drew is not an ugly man.

23:59 Drew That's the headline today. A new study that they finally discovered that the male female brains are genetically different. Oh, really? Not just the estrogen, it's just the osteo.

24:08 Adam Took them this long to figure that out.

24:10 Drew Bizarre. Multiple dozens of genes, different.

24:13 Adam Well, they couldn't find the female brain, could they?

24:16 Drew What's amazing is forget the fact that there are dozens of base pairs that were different in terms of how the brain is structured, then put it under the influence of these various hormones, and then argue about whether male and female are different. Really? We have to have that argument still?

24:30 Adam No.

24:30 Drew We have to have that discussion.

24:31 Adam All right, let's, so anyway, Drew got nothing out of...

24:35 Drew I'll go after it again, I will.

24:36 Adam Yeah, I know you will.

24:37 Something Corporate It's pretty entertaining.

24:38 Adam You'll go out with a stapler next time.

24:41 Caller You need like an X-Acto knife to really dig.

24:43 Drew I need a scalpel.

24:45 Adam I told you there's nothing there.

24:46 Something Corporate Yeah, we got like an hour and a half left.

24:48 Yeah. Dan?

24:51 Adam Dan, you're 24.

24:52 Caller Yes, hi.

24:53 Adam What's up?

24:54 Caller Hi, when I talked to the screener, I said it was my friend, but it's actually my neighbor's daughter. My neighbor's 15-year-old daughter, she's told me and my wife, we're 23 and 24, that she and her friends have been choking each other for fun, to cut off their supply of oxygen to pass out.

25:16 Adam Yeah. That's nice. You're like, hey, sweetness, your ball just came in my yard. We really didn't have to broach this. I just want to give you the nerf back. It's freaking me out. That's a nice conversation to have with your neighbor.

25:30 Drew They're having it during sex?

25:31 Caller No, we do hang out with her a little bit. We play basketball with her on the weekends a little bit and stuff.

25:36 Adam Sure.

25:37 Drew How are they doing this?

25:38 Caller When is she doing it?

25:39 Drew How are they doing it?

25:41 Caller With their hands. They're choking around the throat and making themselves pass out briefly.

25:48 Adam But not in a sexual situation or just for kids?

25:52 Caller I don't think so. No, I don't think so.

25:54 Drew Well, if they just cut it off a little too far, they'll stroke out and that'll be that.

25:59 Adam Could you tell them not to do it?

26:01 Caller Absolutely.

26:01 Adam Stroke out earlier, actually.

26:03 Caller I told her I'm going to tell her parents if she didn't stop, right?

26:07 Drew You better tell the parents. Dan, listen, I think you have an obligation to tell the parents now. I really do.

26:13 Adam Well, if the kid dies, it's not like Dan's going to get into trouble. That secret's going to die with her. It's going to go after Dan. I mean, I think he's cool.

26:22 Drew I think Dan has an obligation.

26:23 Caller Is this a new thing to you guys? Have you heard of this?

26:25 Adam Oh, no. It's been around for some time.

26:28 Caller What?

26:28 Caller Are they doing that to you? Is there some kind of buzz that you get off that?

26:33 Adam Yeah, you basically just get a head rush and then eventually you start weaving it into the sex, and the masturbation, that's next. People die each year doing this.

26:42 That's crazy.

26:44 Adam More than die in the airplane turbulence, but yet you don't hear any PSAs on it, Drew, isn't that interesting?

26:50 Drew We should form some.

26:53 Adam I would reckon to say that more people die with the autoerotic asphyxiation than they do from secondhand smoke each year.

27:00 Drew I'd reckon you're right.

27:01 Adam Would you say?

27:02 Drew By a factor of a hundred.

27:03 Adam Probably.

27:04 Drew Maybe even a factor of a thousand.

27:06 Adam Well, if you think about it, it's not the kind of thing that's widely advertised. I mean, if you come home from work, you're single mom, you find your 16-year-old boy hanging from the shower rod with a cub scalp. Yeah, you cut him down and then you say he brodied in the tub and hit his head on the soap dish. That's where we found him. Seamen traces? I don't know how that got there. The point is, it's not exactly making the paper. I guess how the Johnson boy died. But I would imagine that this happens more. Yes, Johnson. Thank you. The point is, I'd say this happens maybe into the hundreds each year.

27:51 Drew Oh, way more than hundreds. It's the point where I've been involved in maybe a dozen cases. When the law enforcement arrives, they just say, well, here are the characteristics of... Here's how we know it's not a hanging, not an intentional hanging. They know exactly what it is when they walk in the room.

28:06 Adam You know what, actually, if you wanted... Now, listen up, everyone who wants to kill a teenager. If you wanted to kill a 17 or 18-year-old male or hell, even up to their 20s, you would hang them, then you would just pull their pants down and spread some Nivea on their door. Nivea. Or whatever they would use. I just said Nivea.

28:26 You know what I'm saying?

28:29 Adam I pulled that up because I do improvisational comedy.

28:31 Caller You're going to get a box of Nivea tomorrow.

28:36 Something Corporate A little product placement for Nivea.

28:37 Adam Drew, seriously, if you wanted to kill somebody and you hung them, pulled the pants down, spread the Nivea on the junk.

28:43 Drew Put them in the right position again.

28:44 Adam Put them in the right position, law enforcement, and the parents wouldn't be like, whoa, we've got to look into that. Let's just bury them. Get them in the ground. Close caskets. Get them in there.

28:55 Something Corporate You see an outbreak tomorrow.

28:57 Drew I don't know. The erection actually remains.

29:00 Adam I'd say that if they found them some hours afterward, it wouldn't necessarily need to be there. But if I got to give a corpse an erection in order to get off on a murder, then so be it. I'm just saying.

29:15 Something Corporate You got to do what you got to do.

29:16 Adam Yeah, you got to do what you got to do. I mean, let's be honest. I'm living on planet Earth. I don't know where you guys are living, but what kind of fantasy land you guys are living in. That's years and years in prison. You don't have to jack off a corpse once in a while.

29:27 Drew Yeah, but still.

29:28 Adam Yeah, but still. True, that would be a great way to kill somebody.

29:32 Caller Wow.

29:32 Adam Well, really, wouldn't that be good?

29:34 Caller No, that's really smart.

29:36 Something Corporate It sounds very diabolical.

29:40 Adam That's why I get the big bucks. Sarah?

29:43 Hey, what's up?

29:44 Adam Hey, you're 15.

29:45 Caller Yes, I am. I wanted to know about weed. Like, a lot of adults say it's really bad and they're always saying not to do it because it's just really bad for you and then like a lot of kids at like school, in my high school do it and they seem totally fine and so like I did it a couple of times too. I mean, and I know it's not good but I just can't really find a reason not to like I don't know is it really as bad as they say it is or not.

30:14 Drew Well, people are concerned that you're going to get addicted to it, which there is such a thing, but that doesn't happen to many people and the person- Oh, yeah, and the people that get addicted, it's as though the drug needs to prime, they have to use it a few times and then pow, it's the best, all of a sudden this amazing experience and when you have that, oh my God, this is the best thing ever experience, you start doing that every day. And if you're not going to have that experience, the other thing that people are concerned with is when the brain is still developing, there is some evidence that it might interfere with the growth and development of the brain even when used relatively infrequently, not used at all. In other words, I cannot tell you that a few exposures is going to do a damn thing, but there is concern on the age of 18. After 18, it's probably the same as an occasional glass of wine if you're not addictively prone.

31:03 Adam Well, look, here's the thing too. Stupid people shouldn't be messing with weed because it knocks you down a notch.

31:10 Drew Brings it down.

31:11 Adam Yeah, I mean, it ratchets you down. And they never talk about this in terms of it's just drugs, good, drugs, bad, here's who... You know, some people can do drugs. People that, for instance, don't have the addict gene can probably do drugs with some impunity, right? Okay, so there's a group that can do drugs. And if you don't have the addict gene and you're...

31:32 Drew Ironically, if you don't have the gene, you're not so interested in it though.

31:34 Adam Yeah, but you still don't mind getting high every once in a while. And if you're really smart, you can also handle ratcheting it down every once in a while. But Sarah...

31:46 Caller Yes?

31:46 Adam That doesn't sound like you, baby.

31:48 Caller Well, I mean, I'm not like doing it all the time. Like actually, like when people say, oh yeah, I'm going to get high this weekend, it kind of really annoys me. I'm like thinking, why do you want to do that? It's not really that great, but...

31:59 Adam Yeah, okay, good.

31:59 Something Corporate Well, to each his own, you know, don't do it.

32:01 Drew So you can see how that not that great experience is not something you can get at...

32:05 Caller Sometimes when I'm with my friends, they'll want to do it, so I'm just like, what the hell went on?

32:08 Drew But Sarah, you're having a different biological experience than somebody who has a, oh my God, this is the greatest thing experience. Yours is a big deal, and that's not the addictive experience.

32:17 Adam But also, it's not like it necessarily makes you stupid. It's just if you, let's just say, once a day for about five hours took a nap and didn't read a book and didn't do any exercise and didn't experience anything. Like let's just say somebody puts you in a sensory deprivation chamber for about five hours every day.

32:38 Caller We know exactly what you're talking about.

32:40 Adam But over the course of 15 years, you'd be a 30 year old guy who missed out on a lot of stuff that other people were talking about. It's not that it made you dumb. It's just you didn't absorb anything during those years.

32:52 Drew There actually is a growth in development may, may, may be altered. Yeah.

32:57 Adam But it doesn't seem to me that these people just seem to be about 16 when everyone else is 28.

33:03 Drew Well, that definitely happens. It arrests development.

33:05 Adam Yeah. You just sort of stop. All right. It's they become like one of these Bonsai plants, you know, they just trim them just the right way and they don't move. Whatever happened to Bonsai plants, it used to be popular.

33:16 Drew You see them for sale every year.

33:18 Adam Yeah.

33:18 Caller Yeah.

33:18 Something Corporate We actually used to perform with a Bonsai plant on our, on our stage.

33:22 Caller Every mall.

33:22 Drew Every sort of.

33:24 Caller Little cart things always had Bonsai plants.

33:27 Adam I like to make my move on a Bonsai plant. You can take care of them.

33:29 Drew Adam, you can take care of them.

33:30 Caller They're cool.

33:30 Something Corporate We went to eat and there was a guy cruising around actually selling Bonsai plants.

33:34 Caller That's right.

33:35 Something Corporate Out of like a satchel.

33:36 Drew Again, it's an opportunity for Adam to you to sort of pretend that it's a big tree and bring your penis up alongside it.

33:44 Something Corporate Just take a picture and go, look at it next to this tree.

33:47 Adam This is a full size Sequoia. Watch me topple it with my nads.

33:53 Drew Look out.

33:56 Something Corporate Set up little figurines right next to it.

33:58 Caller Is that why old guys have like train sets? Like the big detailed?

34:01 Adam Yeah. The balls could actually block the tunnel if the train goes through. Train sets. All right. Where are we? Another call? What do we got to do? Do we have to do this 20 days later? What's in it for us, by the way? What do we get?

34:18 Drew We're good citizens.

34:19 Adam Really?

34:21 Something Corporate You should get to go to the Hard Rock for a while at least.

34:24 Drew You've got that line.

34:24 Adam One would think. Yeah, Jeremy?

34:26 Yes?

34:27 Adam You're 22?

34:28 Caller Yes, sir.

34:29 Adam What's up?

34:31 Caller Well, when I was born, my parents divorced after about a year, and my mom remarried and she didn't tell me until I was 14 that the man that I believed was my father was my stepfather until I was 14. I'm now with a girl who had a baby about six months ago, and her boyfriend left her, and I'm wondering if I should do the same thing, because that's all I know. I'm wondering if I should tell him that I'm his real father, and then later on when I believe he can make the difference, distinguish the difference, let him know that I'm not his real father.

35:07 Adam Kid says six months? Yeah, six months.

35:11 Caller He might not understand.

35:12 Adam Yeah, you got a few weeks. You're not going to have to pull the trigger until around Christmas time. Yeah, I don't know, what do you think about that, Drew?

35:21 Drew I don't know.

35:22 Adam I'm all for lying to the kids. I got told stuff when I was a kid that was like, I wish no one had ever told me. I really do.

35:29 Caller I got told when I was 14 that if he wasn't my real dad and I hated him and then it took me about three years to actually even want to give him a call.

35:36 Something Corporate That might be a good reason not to do that then.

35:38 Adam Yeah, I just.

35:39 Caller Yeah, and how personal experience there.

35:41 Caller And how old are you? Is it 22?

35:43 Caller Yeah, 22.

35:44 Adam You're going to be around for another 10 years?

35:46 Caller You're marrying this girl?

35:47 Caller Yep, yep. I consider him just like he's my own son. I've been, I've known her for about three years and I've been with him since the father left, about two years after he was born.

35:56 Adam Alright, so Drew, what do you think?

35:58 Drew I think he ought to tell. I really do.

36:00 Adam When?

36:02 Drew Just begin talking about it all along. You know, just your...

36:05 Adam Your real dad, daddy loves him so much. He's working on a shrimp boat in Florida, banging waitresses.

36:11 Drew By the way, it's a male child, right?

36:14 Adam It's a male? Yeah, they can handle it more. They're better.

36:19 Drew With the dad thing.

36:19 Adam Yeah, the girls, you gotta lie to them.

36:22 My sister still, she went through the Easter bunny every year, 40 years old.

36:29 Adam Alright, listen, here's all you gotta do. You just focus on being a good guy and it's done. It doesn't matter. Alright? Alright. Alright, Jeremy.

36:39 Drew Good luck.

36:40 Adam But good times, alright? Oh yeah. Call him from Alaska. I think he does in Alaska.

36:45 Drew Ask him.

36:46 Adam Jeremy. They probably hung up. What are you doing in Alaska?

36:50 Caller I work security.

36:51 Adam Uh oh. Where?

36:54 Caller Anchorage.

36:55 Adam What do you got to guard there in Alaska? I'm wondering. Is there anything there to guard?

37:00 Caller We guard the FBI building and Lockheed Martins and the FAA and some pretty high-fives.

37:06 Something Corporate Sounds pretty serious.

37:07 Adam Well, what's Lockheed got going over there?

37:09 Caller I really don't know. We pretty much guard the main building that they're settled in and then we also guard a whole bunch of civilian accounts, different businesses who want us to lock their business or set the alarms.

37:22 Adam Do you get to carry a piece or just a pepper spray?

37:26 Caller Yeah, 38 Special. Pepper spray and handcuffs and the whole bit.

37:32 Adam You got to step up though because that's not going to stop a polar bear, that 38 Special. You need moose and polar bear stopping power up there, right Drew?

37:42 Drew Certainly moose. They walk around the street in Anchorage?

37:45 Caller Yep, I saw a pack bear about a week ago.

37:48 Adam Yeah.

37:48 Drew In the streets.

37:50 Adam Yeah. See wrestling? It's time. Time to go to work.

37:55 Drew The animals walk in the streets of Anchorage.

37:59 Adam What do they care? They're walking around going, hey people walking the street around here. Polar bears in your garbage, moose in your front yard. It's the last frontier up there, Drew. We got to take ourselves a little break. Something Corporate is here tonight. Drew, do we got to do this 28 days thing again?

38:22 Drew Yeah, next break.

38:23 Adam Next break? Yeah. Why don't you do it now? Let's just say we did it.

38:26 Drew All right. From now through the 23rd, all callers you get on the show on Loveline that are over the age of 18 will receive a DVD of the horror film 28 Days Later with all the different endings. It will be available to everyone October 21st with again three alternative endings. For those of you that do get on the air and do receive the DVD, you will be put in a competition and the name will be polled on October 26th.

38:50 Adam I'm going to win that.

38:51 Drew The winner will win a 28 day stay at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas.

38:55 Adam 28 days. You can pass it off.

38:57 Drew One plane ticket to get there.

38:58 Adam Yes.

38:59 Drew Then you can pass out to Adam and his friends.

39:00 Adam But if you can get your loser friends there, you can bring 28 of them and they can all stay one day.

39:04 Drew They all stay 28 days.

39:06 Adam All of them?

39:07 Drew Each day one day.

39:08 Adam Yeah.

39:09 Drew They didn't say how many people can stay in the room at a time.

39:10 Adam We can't put 28 people in the same room. See, to me it's about nationalities. Like white people, two and a half. Max. Max can only get about 30 in there. Me and the Me's get like 45 or 50. I got to see some credentials. When I see your nationality, that's the occupancy level.

39:27 Caller We did my 21st at the Hard Rock and he actually, Andrew slept in the tub.

39:30 Something Corporate I slept in the tub.

39:30 Caller He slept in the tub. We had like six or eight people in the room.

39:33 Caller That was a wonderful time.

39:34 Something Corporate It's actually, I think, one of the more comfortable places to stay in a hotel room. In the tub? When the floor is an option, the tub you can set up pretty nicely.

39:42 Caller Andrew has slept in the tub quite a few times. I've been around him actually.

39:45 Something Corporate Yeah, it happens.

39:46 Caller He digs the tub.

39:47 Caller It cradles the fetal position.

39:48 Adam Yeah, depending on what size.

39:50 Something Corporate Something about the womb, I think. I don't know.

39:52 Adam Yeah, you sleep in a sort of fetus position on the side?

39:54 Something Corporate Actually, I'm like a face down guy. Oh, really?

39:56 Adam Yeah. That's rough. Yeah, you got to drain the tub at that point. You got to go face down to drain it, right, Drew?

40:02 Drew Yes, sir. All right.

40:03 Adam Well, what about my auto erotic set up asphyxiation thing where we make the homicide look like an auto erotic suicide?

40:12 Drew You're going to do that?

40:13 Adam I got to try to win it, guys. All right, we'll take a quick break. Something corporate here tonight. We'll be right back after this.

40:20 Caller Loveline.

40:51 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Something Corporate. In tonight, I was saying to Ryan, William, and Andrew, I was saying to Drew, yes, when was it last week when I was refusing the flu shot that I never get sick?

41:12 Drew Now you're sick.

41:13 Caller Now I'm sick.

41:13 Drew You wouldn't have this if I'd given it to you.

41:15 Adam There's nothing worse than this godforsaken heat in this hellish valley of ours and being sick. I don't know, it makes it miserable.

41:27 Something Corporate Being sick when it's hot is the most uncomfortable thing that exists.

41:30 Adam It's weird, but here's what you want. First off, you want the world to be sick. You want it to be raining and cold. You want to just pull the covers over your head and just sit around. You want it to almost be dark at noon. You know what they was really dark outside and you're just sitting in your house and you just got the covers pulled up and you're just watching a DVD and that's it. But instead it's melting, burning, and so you're sort of lying around sick, but you're hot and your nose is running down your belly because it's like everything liquefies at this heat.

42:00 Caller That like melts your stuffiness.

42:01 Adam Just my nose is running. I got this parched throat. I got a sore throat. I feel like hell. I just want to kill myself. Maybe I'll do that autohorotic.

42:10 Drew We'll set you up. We will not give you the erection though.

42:13 Caller I got to give the erection.

42:15 Adam I like the erection.

42:17 Caller Work it out.

42:18 Drew You just set that up yourself.

42:21 Something Corporate It looks like there's a couple of guys in the band who are ready to set it up.

42:24 Adam Let's you guys play some rock, paper, scissors to see who wins and or loses. Drew, you want to take questions for the band or are we going to five over here? We've got some questions for the guys too. Kelly?

42:37 Caller Hi.

42:38 Adam Hey, you're 16. What's up?

42:40 Caller I have a question. When me and my boyfriend have sex, it starts to hurt.

42:47 Drew How long before that happens?

42:50 Caller Well, I don't know. Sometimes it's different. Sometimes I can go in and it doesn't hurt at all, but a majority of the time, just as the friction gets more and more.

43:00 Drew How long before that happens?

43:01 Caller Well, I can't give you an exact time. I don't know.

43:04 Adam Well, in military time.

43:06 Drew One minute, five minutes, thirty minutes.

43:09 Caller Well, not like five minutes probably after.

43:13 Adam Tired of her.

43:14 Drew The point is, it's probably just going too long.

43:17 Caller Especially if he's got a condom on.

43:21 Adam I don't think I've ever been as stupid as our callers are at any point in my life. I really don't. Even five. Like when it's like, I have sex and sometimes it starts to hurt after a while.

43:33 Drew How long before it starts to hurt?

43:34 Adam We don't always have sex.

43:36 Drew Yes, but when you do, how long before it starts to hurt?

43:40 Adam Sometimes I give him a handy before we get started. We're asking the one question you would ask if you presented this problem to anybody. You don't want to answer that? And then you go, no, how long? I mean, are we on a military clock or a standard clock? What time zone are we in? I can't tell you exactly. Are we like mountain time? All right, I'm going to yell at Kelly some more. Kelly? Baby doll? She's pissed. She's mad now. You're a good looking girl, right? You're not used to this kind of verbal abuse, are you? People are nice to you when they see you, right? Usually. Yeah, because they think they got a shot. But for me, I don't get to see anybody. So I can...

44:30 Drew Treat everybody the same.

44:31 Adam Yeah, I would kiss your ass if you were in the studio, I'm sure. All right, so look, you're going too long. I agree with Drew.

44:39 Drew Yeah.

44:40 Caller If it's too long, then...

44:43 Drew Then he needs to...

44:44 Caller I mean, we can't get off before that, so...

44:46 Drew We can't or he can't? You don't have orgasms anyway.

44:50 Adam We means her and her vagina. What about some lubrication?

44:58 Caller Is the guy wearing a condom? He's wearing a condom, right?

45:02 Caller No, I'm on...

45:04 Adam Alright.

45:05 Drew For most women, more than about 5-10 minutes is painful.

45:08 Adam Thank God.

45:09 Drew So, you're into what's normal and you're demanding more of your body than you probably can deliver.

45:14 Adam I don't know. What's the big problem with the lube?

45:16 Something Corporate Is the age factor into that? I mean, she's only 16. How old is he?

45:20 Caller He's going to slow down too. He's probably going too fast.

45:23 Adam He's 19? Mm-hmm. All right. What's up? That's a little old. What grade are you in? 11th. And he's graduated? Yeah. He's off to junior college?

45:35 Drew Not even.

45:36 Adam Where's he working? What's he doing? Yeah, where's he working? At the Sears? He works at Wells Fargo. Drives a stagecoach? Parking.

45:46 Drew Parking.

45:46 Adam They used to run those Wells Fargo commercials, then the stagecoach. Is this supposed to instill confidence in you?

45:54 Caller I quit banking there because of that.

45:56 Adam Drunken miner with a sawed-off shotgun looking after my money. Come on, cookie! It's like, you guys step up and get some armored cars. You got dirt roads here. You go ahead and put the money on an airplane and send it up north. It's going to take three months for you to that stagecoach to get to Missouri. Or Missouri, as they would call it. You can tell Kelly was hot because hot chicks, first off, they don't have time for your shenanigans. You know what I mean? You try to crack a joke, they're like, yeah, whatever. They're not impressed. They're never impressed. Nothing's ever funny.

46:31 Drew Even though they say something that's one supporting thing.

46:33 Something Corporate And when you make fun of them, they're standoffish, that's for sure.

46:36 Adam And they act like you called them. That's the whole thing. You got 170 years worth of experience in this. She's 16. She goes to some crappy high school in Burbank. Drew's a doctor. She calls. And the clock's ticking. She doesn't have time for you right now. Just go, baby. I'm hot. I'm hot. Don't you know I'm hot? And I don't blame them. It's like, this is...

47:00 Something Corporate That's the world they live in, though. They're provided that.

47:04 Adam No, I really... We gotta go to break, but I noticed this, like, in the animal kingdom, people know what they have. When I see... When you see a squirrel, and you come walking up your stairs, there's a squirrel there. They take off. They sprint. A skunk just stands there and looks at you. This looks at you. You want some? You want some? I didn't think so. All right, I'm gonna go back to my business. I'll just turn... Skunk, turn its back on you. Go back to its business. Doesn't even bother with you. It knows what it has. Just a hot 16-year-old knows what she has. All right, take a quick break. Something Corporate in studio tonight. We'll be right back.

47:40 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

47:42 Caller Look in the hookup.

47:43 Something Corporate Call the Dateline.

47:44 Caller Stick a waste in time with the wrong person.

47:45 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:46 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:48 Something Corporate Call the Dateline.

47:49 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

47:53 You know what I'm saying, I'm Dan?

48:03 Caller NFL Blitz Pro combines authentic NFL features with Blitz signature fast and furious gameplay.

48:40 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Brian, William, and Andrew are all here from Something Corporate. We're going to hear something off the new CD, which is out today or tomorrow, depending where you are and when you're here in this show. North is the name of the new CD, and we'll hear another cut off it. Sometime in this break, we have a question for the band though for now. Sarah?

49:06 Caller You're 14? What's up?

49:08 Something Corporate What's up, Sarah?

49:09 I love Something Corporate.

49:11 Something Corporate Awesome. Thank you.

49:12 Caller Thank you.

49:13 I have a question.

49:15 Caller What was your favorite song on the new album?

49:19 Caller I think we all kind of have a different opinion on that one, but I love this song that Andrew wrote called She Paints Me Blue.

49:25 Caller Is that William?

49:27 Caller That was Brian.

49:27 Something Corporate That's Brian talking right there.

49:29 Caller William. This is William. I really like this other song called Only Ashes. It was kind of a hard song for me to play at first, because I was totally out of what I usually do, so it was really cool to adapt to that, and I really, really love this song now.

49:45 Something Corporate I'm kind of partial to Me and the Moon. I think it's probably my favorite song on the record.

49:51 Caller It'll be the song you'll hear.

49:52 Something Corporate Yeah, I think they're going to play that later on in this break. That song to me was a really awesome song to write. It really kind of stretched me. And I think as a band, we really came together on it well, which was pretty cool. So yeah, I think we kind of go, I think we all go different directions with our favorites on this record.

50:10 Adam Why don't you guys argue? Like if Drew and I came out the record and his favorite song was like Asphyxiation. My cover of Hell is for Children by Pat Benatar. Bad to the bone. I would start arguing. We'd immediately argue, wouldn't we?

50:27 Drew No, you would insist that I come over to your way of thinking about things. We wouldn't argue. You would demand that I change my opinion.

50:33 Something Corporate We do our fair share of that off the air. We argue enough about so much stuff that I think we've kind of bred ourselves at this point to try and like steer clear of them because when you live as close to each other as we do, I mean we tour like a good 10, 11 months out of the year and you start a fight and it pretty much never ends for us.

50:53 Caller Sometimes we argue just to pass the time.

50:56 Caller We've talked about that being kind of a hobby for us sometimes.

50:59 Adam Yeah, guys do that.

51:01 Caller There's nothing left to do. We've talked about everything. It's just around the silence that you start fighting.

51:05 Something Corporate Sometimes you just pick the other side just for the sake of picking the other side.

51:08 Caller It's like philosophical conditioning like Tibetan monks or something.

51:13 Caller Sounds a lot like Tibetan monks.

51:14 Something Corporate Yeah, we're a lot like monks really.

51:16 Adam Half the arguments I end up having with my male counterparts is just that they're arguing with me. I was explaining to somebody at work that there was nothing satisfying about running on a treadmill. He's like, I disagree. I totally disagree. I was mad at him for disagreeing. Not because he had a compelling argument for why it was. I was just like, how can you disagree with that comment? You're literally going nowhere running on a rubber belt. That's satisfying. He's like, I find it satisfying. I just realized now he just wants a spark.

51:53 Caller I'd say we have a really good relationship at this point. When we disagree, I don't even care anymore. You just got to go with the love and move on.

52:02 Caller Like Tibetan monks.

52:04 Something Corporate Much like Brian's comment about Tibetan monks.

52:07 Adam Steven? Steven? You're 19. What's up?

52:13 Caller Actually, me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for quite a while now. And we were just both tested. We were both tested for chlamydia. And her doctor instructed her not to have sex for a while, and we are intimate. And I received other information from my doctor. And I was just wondering...

52:38 Drew Just because you've been tested or because you both tested positive?

52:41 Caller I actually tested positive for it, and I believe she also has been. And I was just wondering if there's any reason, like, is it because I'm a guy and she's a girl, that it's okay for me, or did I just... Is one of us getting the wrong information?

52:57 Drew You would be okay in about 48 to 72 hours. Even if you're with a new partner, I would bet. I don't know that for sure, but I would bet that's accurate. And for her, they would probably want her to be on some form of pelvic rest, because you can kind of... you don't know how bad the infection is. It can stir things up.

53:15 Adam I'd try that. I like that.

53:20 Drew So it's more for her that they'd be saying kind of take a week or 10 days off.

53:24 Caller All right, yeah, I was just kind of curious about that.

53:26 Adam But does she have it or not?

53:28 Caller Yes, she does.

53:30 Drew Why do you say you think she...

53:32 Caller I'm just nervous, man.

53:34 Something Corporate I'm on the radio.

53:39 Caller That's fair.

53:41 Caller I saw you guys at the Warped Tour of Intersha.

53:47 Something Corporate Oh, we just got complimented. Of course, you had to swear during that. Hey, thanks, man.

53:51 Caller We appreciate it. Good luck to you.

53:54 Adam They kicked ass. All right, let's talk to...

54:00 Drew Unacceptable.

54:01 Caller How do you guys get that? It's all a delay.

54:06 Something Corporate I'm just curious, how do they get the clap, the two of them?

54:10 Drew I actually think it was a bogus call. I guess what he's made in the case of is somehow either he cheated or she's had it for a long time and they didn't know about it. It was very unclear.

54:21 Adam Steve? What's up? You're 25.

54:26 First off, I'd like to say, Dr. Drew read your book. I thought it was absolutely outstanding.

54:31 Drew Thank you, Steve. I appreciate that.

54:33 No problem. I can tell why you wanted to do it well. It's because you put a lot of yourself in that book and it shows and it's really great.

54:39 Drew Well, thanks. I really picked the stories very carefully in terms of making points about how humans work. I hope that will come across.

54:47 It really did. I don't know much about addiction and I thought the book was great and I learned a lot.

54:54 Drew Thank you.

54:55 But my question actually was is that about a month ago there was a hard kind of almost I'd say calcium deposit at the base of my shaft of my penis. And I was kind of wondering what that was and just a week ago it went away. And I wanted to know if that was good or bad.

55:15 Drew Do you have them anywhere else, calcium? No.

55:18 Well, old injuries have had calcium deposits but not anything just sort of popped up on its own.

55:23 Adam They're probably traveling to your brain and you should be having a stroke any minute now. Hold on a second.

55:30 Drew One.

55:30 Adam Nine. No. What are we at now? Five?

55:33 Drew Four. Uh-oh.

55:36 Adam Drew would have gone at it with a thumbtack if it was still there by the way.

55:39 Drew Steve, the only thing I have, whatever I've, the only time I've.

55:42 Caller Oh, I also remembered, hey Adam.

55:44 Adam Yeah.

55:44 Caller I really loved how you did that one thing where you gave the price to visit people on the weekend. You know, and you kind of go up and down based on the how it all goes.

55:54 Adam Remember that?

55:55 Caller No.

55:56 Adam We did it one time. We do. Here's what we try to do. We try to avoid doing anything that was entertaining or successful more than once on the show. And usually we just forget about it.

56:05 Drew What's he talking about?

56:06 Adam Well, remember that time? It wasn't that long ago. It was a couple of months ago. Some girl called and she was like calling from Seattle or something. I said, you know, I'm going to come out there and I'll come out there and see you. And I'll come out. She wanted to meet me. I said, I'll come out there for like a thousand bucks. And she and I was like, and then I don't know what happened. It's like how much you weigh. She's like one sixty five. It's like, all right, thirteen hundred bucks. And then and then it's like, but but I love oral. All right. Now we're down to eleven hundred. And we just kept moving the price around for everybody.

56:37 Something Corporate Did you go?

56:38 Adam Yeah, went out there, banged the bejesus out of it.

56:40 Drew Eight hundred bucks.

56:41 Adam That's how I got that lump on my back. A piece of my nail broke off in me.

56:44 Drew Steve, the only time this may or may not apply to you, the only time I've seen a patient that complained of this kind of thing, that where it went away, was actually a clotted vein in the penis. Yeah. Sometimes that can happen. And if you got anything going anywhere else, it's worth having a hematological workup, because it really shouldn't be happening.

57:03 Adam Let's see if we can, well, Larissa's only 16, but we could still do it, right, Drew? Larissa?

57:10 Caller Yeah?

57:11 Adam You're 16? Big fan of the band, are you?

57:15 Caller Oh, man, I'm a huge fan.

57:17 Caller I keep my virginity to you guys.

57:19 Caller I love you so much.

57:20 Adam Oh, you're a virgin? I just dropped 500 bucks. I was going to come out there for a grand. Down to 500 now. Well, wait a minute. Are you living at home? We're back at 800 now. Do you have a car? Your own car? You can borrow your stepmom's Volkswagen.

57:44 Caller Oh, no, I don't have a stepmom. My mom and dad are together.

57:47 Adam That's a push. We're still at 800. You have your own wheels, though, yes?

57:51 Caller Yep.

57:52 Adam All right. You picked me up at the train station. You're out in San Dimas. All right.

57:57 Something Corporate Do you have a big back seat?

57:59 Adam Yeah. Hatchback, fold down seat. What kind of ride is it?

58:04 Caller It's an IS-300.

58:06 Adam What is that?

58:07 Caller Alexis.

58:08 Adam Well done.

58:11 Caller It's a little, but it's nice.

58:12 Adam But you've got money, right? Your family's got money? Yeah. All right. We're down. We're down to like $375. No way. A thousand at least. Come on. Yeah. But you see, I punish the peep the have-nots. That's part of the deal, because she's classy. Like, your dad's a lawyer or something? Actually, no. What is he? What does he do for a living? Oh. Now what? What's going on?

58:40 Caller He's a retailer.

58:41 Adam Retailer.

58:42 Caller He's a middleman. He's a flyer.

58:43 Adam Can he get me a deal on some, like, PF. Flyers or some penny loafers or something?

58:47 Caller Flyers? Do they still make PF.

58:51 Adam Flyers?

58:51 Caller Yeah.

58:52 Adam I don't know what the kids are wearing these days.

58:53 Caller So that won't be a flyer.

58:56 Adam Ask the band your question.

58:58 Caller Well, my question is, I wanted to know what Space is about. Like, what was the meaning behind it?

59:03 Something Corporate As I understand it through Josh, pretty much it was a song that he wrote about frustration of just, I think it was coming home after a tour and kind of the idea of being around people that you care about, but somehow the frustration kind of still manages to get to you and you kind of sometimes need to walk away and get out of that situation, even if you are happening to be with people that you care about.

59:30 Caller Yeah, even if you really, really care about them.

59:36 Something Corporate No, I don't think so. I mean, it's definitely applicable in that sense, I'm sure, and I guess in a sense, yeah, it's about love, but I don't think as far as a relationship goes.

59:45 Drew Whatever Larissa wants it to be.

59:46 Caller Whatever it means to you.

59:50 Drew There's some sort of band training school.

59:52 Something Corporate Thank you, Larissa.

59:52 Drew Band training school.

59:54 Something Corporate Where they would dish out the cliché, like, oh, it's whatever it means to you.

59:58 Caller We learned that at PR camp.

1:00:01 Something Corporate Thank you, Larissa.

1:00:02 Caller Lu Perlman told us. We were trained well by Lu.

1:00:07 Adam Christina? Let's see if we can work this. You're 18. You're calling from Arizona?

1:00:12 Caller Yes, I am.

1:00:13 Adam Okay, we're at $1,000. What part of Arizona?

1:00:18 Actually, it's Gilbert.

1:00:19 Caller It's kind of a town right next to Mesa, like, about half an hour from Phoenix.

1:00:24 Adam We're at about $1,250, I'd say. A small town. Okay, how tall are you? 5'8?

1:00:33 Caller How hot is it there right now?

1:00:35 Adam Yeah, what's the temperature over there? We're down to 1,100, by the way.

1:00:37 Caller Today it was like 104.

1:00:41 We were complaining about how hot it was.

1:00:43 Adam $2,200. $2,200.

1:00:46 Something Corporate At least there's a dry heat out there, though. It's a little drier, though. It wouldn't be as miserable.

1:00:50 Adam I'm giving you off-season prices, by the way. These aren't holiday prices, okay, where I get the rush. And you're 5'8? How much do you weigh?

1:00:57 Caller 105. I'm really skinny.

1:01:01 Adam Drop it. I don't know. That's a push. How's the rack doing? It's hard to have a rack at 105 and 5'8.

1:01:08 Caller No, I don't. I don't.

1:01:13 Adam We moved up to 23. 23.50. Are you living at home?

1:01:19 Caller Yes.

1:01:21 Adam Going to college. Where at? Junior college? Now we're 28.75. Junior college, really. That's what pushes it. That's what puts me out of range.

1:01:30 Caller I like the math.

1:01:33 Adam All right. Well, ask your question, Christina.

1:01:36 Caller One for SoCo and one for David. Hold on.

1:01:37 Adam We're at three grand because I don't like the two questions. All right. Oh, you apologize. No, you apologize. We're back 28.75. Go ahead.

1:01:46 Caller The first one is for Something Corporate. One, you guys are the greatest in the whole world. Thank you.

1:01:51 Adam Down to 2600, I like to be.

1:01:54 Caller Ask my question.

1:01:56 Adam Now we're 3250 because I don't need that kind of thing. I don't need a Weisenheimer.

1:02:02 Caller I've been watching you guys since you were on MTV, so come on.

1:02:05 Adam All right. Keep going.

1:02:07 Caller Why is, I love Letters to Noel, Calico Tunnel, Wait, Spin, all those.

1:02:11 Something Corporate Oh, man.

1:02:13 Caller Why aren't those on any albums? Is there any reason? Are they going to be on later albums?

1:02:19 Something Corporate You know, I would doubt it, but I think for us, it's just like when we put out a record and you kind of put out songs at the time that you conceive them and you record them and that's kind of how it goes. And I don't know, to rehash a lot of old material that you're not really connecting to at the time, it doesn't seem like the best way to make a record that seems to actually say anything important. You know, I love those songs too.

1:02:44 Caller But we really get excited about our new stuff and it's really the way we feel, the way we are and the way we're playing at that time. So to go out and put something old onto a record is kind of...

1:02:54 Something Corporate Well, plus you already heard them, you know what I mean? It's like you already have them. Yeah, so you know the songs. I think that's kind of the point. It's like if they're already out there and they're floating around and people care about them, I think to us is, you know, let's move on and do the next thing and put some new songs out.

1:03:06 Caller And thank you. You've obviously been a fan for a long time.

1:03:09 Caller Yeah, I'm definitely a fan.

1:03:10 Caller Yeah, and your new album is so good. I've been listening to you on your website. You have like that little clip at the corner.

1:03:14 Something Corporate Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:03:14 Caller Like a minute and a half you just on. I'm like, yes, I listen to it every day, like 50 times.

1:03:18 Something Corporate Thank you. There's only like what, a few more minutes until you can get it.

1:03:22 Caller Yeah, you can go out. Also on a side note, we may be playing, we may be playing Wait on this tour. So when we come through, you'll probably see us earlier in the day. We'll be hanging around. Ask us to play it and we may.

1:03:32 Caller Okay. The format's with you guys too. I love the format.

1:03:35 Adam We're at $2,900 now, Christina.

1:03:38 Something Corporate Yeah, what's question two? You have a chance to lower your price.

1:03:41 Adam Do you have an eating disorder? I'm going to actually raise the price on that because I find that eating disorder gives a low self-esteem where they tend to put out.

1:03:54 Drew Okay, so what's your other question?

1:03:55 Caller My other question is, I'm looking into taking Debo.

1:03:59 Adam Oh, down to $2,300.

1:04:02 Drew What's Debo? Depo Provera shot. First month Adam should be bleeding constantly.

1:04:07 Adam Oh, now we're back up to $3,300.

1:04:10 Drew So, go ahead, it's three months. It's pretty common. Pretty common.

1:04:14 Adam Drew, I've got to come up with a price here. So, what's yours?

1:04:16 Caller My best friend is taking it and I know some people say that it really messes them up, but for her she's never had any problems with it whatsoever.

1:04:23 Adam Can she hang out with us when we're there? I could really give you a break here.

1:04:30 Drew Why do you want to go right to the shot?

1:04:38 Caller I consider myself responsible, but honestly, the shot is so much more effective here. Effective?

1:04:43 Drew It's not more effective, you just don't have to worry about taking it.

1:04:47 Caller I know me, and I would miss it a day or I would just mess it up somehow.

1:04:53 Drew How about the patch? I was actually thinking I was going to ask you about that because I was looking between my concern is that when you really have not been exposed to hormones before and you really don't know how your body is going to respond, going right to the progesterone unless you are really can't rely on yourself, there's lots of side effects of the progesterone. There's definitely lots of bleeding and then no bleeding, lots of mood disturbances, sometimes atony, sometimes-

1:05:15 Adam That's true. Hold on a second. I got to get a calculator now.

1:05:18 Drew She's not going to take that. She's going to take the patch.

1:05:21 Caller The mood swings are terrible.

1:05:24 Adam I tacked on $80 for the I Know Me line. I don't think that might get old if I'm out there.

1:05:30 Caller Does she have to wear the patch all day long? Yeah.

1:05:32 Caller You wear it for a week, right? A week.

1:05:34 Drew Three weeks.

1:05:35 Adam All right, babe. Christine, we're at $23.80 now. Again, that's the best I can do. That's off season. I don't get all the money. I have an agent that's going to take 10% of that.

1:05:44 Drew She doesn't know what she's buying yet. What are you giving her?

1:05:47 Adam You know, weekend. I'm yours. Where do you want me? Pick me up at the airport.

1:05:51 Caller You know what I wanted to tell you? The man show sucks now. Oh, my God, it sucks so bad now.

1:05:56 Adam Down to $1,200.

1:05:58 Something Corporate It looks like you're earning some points on that one.

1:06:01 Caller All right, baby doll.

1:06:03 Adam I'll pencil you in. I'll try to get you in before the holidays.

1:06:09 Caller Thank you very much.

1:06:11 Drew The irony that I love is ask her what she looks for in a man. A sense of humor is your number one.

1:06:17 Adam What do you look for in a man?

1:06:25 Caller I'm really skinny, so I don't really like really skinny guys.

1:06:28 Adam How about a hairy ass?

1:06:30 Something Corporate Who doesn't love a hairy ass?

1:06:32 Caller Very nice.

1:06:33 Drew Big cyst on his back. It makes a nice landscape.

1:06:36 Caller By the time Adam's out there, his cyst will be gone, so don't worry about that.

1:06:39 Adam It was fine, by the way, before Drew got to it. All right, let's hear a song from Something Corporate, shall we? Fair enough. Yeah, we have just enough time to squeeze that in.

1:06:47 Drew Squeezing again, huh?

1:06:48 Adam Off the new CD, North, and it's called Me and the Moon. Is that cello?

1:11:01 Something Corporate Yes, a few of them.

1:11:02 Adam That's nice. Was that song arranged? I mean, is that an orchestra?

1:11:07 Something Corporate We actually, there was a guy, there's a guy named Paul Buckmaster who we got, he actually did work on the last record. And we did a little, we did more stuff with strings on the last record. He actually put together like a 26 piece, like symphony, did a whole thing on a few of the songs. And on this one, it wasn't really the vibe of this record. So we brought him in and he did, he did like just a three part cello thing on two songs, actually back to back in the middle of the record. He did a really cool thing.

1:11:32 Adam Is that expensive?

1:11:35 Something Corporate It can be. He was pretty amazing for us just because he liked working on the project last time. So I think he worked with us. I don't really know. I try not to pay attention to how much money we're spending when we go into the studio, because I'm sure it can be really just kind of be boggling. But yeah, he's pretty incredible to work with.

1:11:54 Adam I always think it's funny, like once in a while, they do that production where, you know, Molly Hatch, it's on there with the Chicago Philharmonic or something. And there's that Korean woman who's got the Coke bottle glasses playing the cello. And you're thinking, what the? She know where she is right now? What's going on? Like, you think she knows whatever band is up there in front of her or is she just looking at the sheet music? And how is she explaining this when she gets home? And how is all this working?

1:12:26 Something Corporate You attend any string session and it tends to be, it's pretty amusing just to watch. I mean, they have like all these string, they have like string humor, like you'll walk in. They'll be talking about like their rosin or something.

1:12:38 Caller It's a total, it's just like worlds colliding. They don't even, it's just super, super nerdy.

1:12:42 Caller And they're union, they're union, it's the worst.

1:12:45 Something Corporate I mean, some of them are actually really cool. But then there's other people who just kind of, they're doing it. They're getting the paycheck.

1:12:51 Caller They're pretty dedicated. It's their...

1:12:52 Adam We're going nerd.

1:12:54 Something Corporate Drew?

1:12:55 Adam Do you play anything, Drew? What do you play?

1:12:57 Drew Instrument?

1:12:58 Adam Yeah.

1:12:58 Drew Piano.

1:12:59 Something Corporate Oh really?

1:13:00 Adam Bring that in sometime, play that for us.

1:13:02 Drew That's pretty dorky. It's pretty nerdy. Sing too, remember?

1:13:05 Something Corporate Easy. Well done.

1:13:07 Adam Alright, we're gonna take ourselves a little break, something corporate in Studio Night. We'll be right back after this. We'll be right back. Everybody, Loveline, Something Corporate's in studio tonight. Name of the CD is North, going to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live tomorrow night, performing out in the parking lot. That's the big venue. It's good times over there.

1:14:00 Caller Should be fun.

1:14:00 Adam Yeah. So I guess if people want to go see the show, they figured that out already, right? I don't know how that works. They get big crowds.

1:14:08 Caller My mother told me it was sold out today. I don't know exactly what that means.

1:14:13 Something Corporate I guess what they do is you send in an e-mail and then they send back your invitation or something like that. So I know they've done it, but I mean. It's a big crowd. Hey, show up. You know what I mean? It's like there's always a chance somebody will drop out. You know what I mean? Do they pull the indoor audience?

1:14:25 Caller I bet if you should have come down, come down.

1:14:27 Something Corporate What's that?

1:14:27 Drew Do they pull the indoor audience outside?

1:14:29 Adam No.

1:14:29 Drew They have a separate audience outside? Yeah.

1:14:32 Something Corporate I think, yeah.

1:14:33 Adam I think there's 500 people out there.

1:14:35 Drew There's 500 people inside too. I didn't know what they filed about.

1:14:39 Adam No, there's like 175 people inside. They got a big crowd out there.

1:14:43 Caller They got up on the roof. I've never seen it happen.

1:14:44 Something Corporate We're going to be the one band that plays. There'll be like 30 people standing from the outside stage.

1:14:48 Adam Old hesshers.

1:14:49 Caller One guy going, you suck. You suck.

1:14:52 Adam Freebird.

1:14:52 Something Corporate We'll be getting heckled the entire time.

1:14:54 Caller Heckled.

1:14:54 Something Corporate Telling us to play freebird covers.

1:14:57 Adam Jason?

1:14:58 Yeah.

1:14:59 Adam You're 24?

1:15:00 Caller Yeah.

1:15:01 Adam What's up?

1:15:03 Caller First, to ask something corporate a question real quick.

1:15:05 Something Corporate Yeah, what's up?

1:15:06 Caller Sure. I'm curious as to your influences early on as far as anything indie or anything?

1:15:15 Something Corporate For me, early on, I started writing when I was nine and I was listening to Billy Joel and Tom Petty and Bob Marley and things like that. Later on, I started getting into Counting Crows. Their first record was a record that I really got into. Then later on, Weezer, Green Day bands like that. Obviously, the list goes on from there. I couldn't even begin to say. We've got a lot of classic rock guys in the audience.

1:15:39 Caller We're all big classic rock fans in our band.

1:15:41 Caller Beatles and Pink Floyd. I was a big Smashing Pumpkins fan when they were on Indie.

1:15:46 Adam Thank you. I'd like to see Green Day live again. I really love them live.

1:15:52 Caller We just caught something on TV the other day of them live and it was incredible. It was a really great live. It's just amazing.

1:15:59 Adam I'll tell you what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that Green Day is cooling down just a little bit, that five, eight years from now, no, I could get them to play like a birthday party or something. Well, not a bar mitzvah. No, you give them a couple of grand, you give them to come by the house.

1:16:14 Caller You're like a celebrity, so you could probably do that.

1:16:16 Caller They'd play your birthday party.

1:16:17 Caller They'd hook that up for you.

1:16:18 Adam Yeah.

1:16:19 Something Corporate I imagine if I was a millionaire, I could-

1:16:21 Caller We'll play your birthday party if you'd like.

1:16:23 Adam All right. Jason.

1:16:25 Caller Yeah.

1:16:26 Something Corporate You guys played my birthday?

1:16:27 Caller My girlfriend has, when she was a freshman in college and her dorm roommate brought to her attention the notion of TMJ, something called TMJ, some condition of the jaw locking during oral sex.

1:16:41 Drew Well, no. That's a separate thing. Your jaw can dislocate and lock. You can predispose you to TMJ, and TMJ can predispose you to that dislocation, but TMJ is just painful arthritis in your jaw joint.

1:16:55 Adam Yeah. What is that? What is that?

1:16:56 Drew Temporal mandibular joint syndrome.

1:16:58 Adam Mandibular. What's that, ma'am?

1:17:00 Drew Mandibular.

1:17:00 Adam Mandibular. All right.

1:17:02 Caller She kind of complains to me now that a few minutes into oral sex or whatnot, she is saying that her jaw hurts, and she's afraid of it walking because her dorm roommate had it walk on her once while she was performing oral sex on her-

1:17:17 Drew Oh, that's good.

1:17:19 Adam First off- No excuses. Yeah. Seek this roommate out and kill her.

1:17:23 Drew Yeah.

1:17:23 Caller To put her down.

1:17:24 Adam Yeah, that's number one, because she's spreading this kind of poison around.

1:17:28 Caller All men.

1:17:30 Adam Yes, that's right.

1:17:31 Caller Terrible theory.

1:17:31 Adam Not a jury in the land would convict you either.

1:17:34 Caller That's impossible. That can't happen.

1:17:36 Adam And then, does she give you a BJ and you have an orgasm?

1:17:40 Caller No, she can't go long enough. She can go probably 5 to 10 minutes, but I need probably 15 to 20.

1:17:46 Drew Yeah, well here's the thing.

1:17:47 Caller You're not a small guy then.

1:17:49 Drew She just doesn't want to go that long.

1:17:51 Adam And by the way, 15 to 20 is a pretty lengthy BJ.

1:17:55 Drew Yeah, anybody would have TMJ problems after that.

1:17:57 Adam Oh yeah.

1:17:57 Drew Even Adam.

1:17:58 Adam Yeah, even me. Alright, so how about you, instead of adding to her time, you shave some precious minutes off of your time. Yeah, well what can we do about that?

1:18:10 Caller Do you think you can do that? Just get psyched up.

1:18:12 Caller Yeah, you gotta put your mind in the game.

1:18:15 Something Corporate Hip-hop man, you know.

1:18:16 Adam You're not hungry.

1:18:17 Caller I heard you guys say that you can desensitize the region by not touching it for a few days prior.

1:18:22 Caller That works.

1:18:23 Drew Yeah, it's hard to imagine, Jason, but yeah, that's right.

1:18:26 Caller Basically, if I'm beating off too many times in a row before she gets there, it's gonna be desensitized before she gets to it.

1:18:32 Something Corporate He's just hanging out before she shows up.

1:18:34 Caller Sometimes it's just like, you know she's coming, so you're just like, you know what, I'm gonna wait because this is gonna be much better than my hand. Yeah, put it off.

1:18:43 Drew He's like, yeah, are you kidding?

1:18:46 Adam Jason has a plan. It's unclear what it is.

1:18:49 Drew Big doses of JO. Jackoff in him.

1:18:52 Adam Yeah, she's only 15 or 20. Her roommate said, and by the way, well we've had a lot of people call this show where they go, you know, somebody said you can get pregnant through anal sex, like all the somebody said people. It's sort of there with I read on the internet that people. All right, let's talk to Stacey who's 23. Stacey? What's up?

1:19:24 Oh, not too much. I was calling, I got called last week from my gynecologist and she said that I had an abnormal pap smear. And when I asked her what it could be, she said it was probably HPV.

1:19:40 Drew That's what causes abnormal pap, basically.

1:19:43 Adam We're at $3,800, sweetie. What? You're local. You're over in Pasadena? Yeah, because that will shave $1,500 right off the top, but the HPV scare is really going to put me up. What's HPV? That's the words. That's the words. So I'll be wearing a condom.

1:20:01 Drew But you'll wear a condom, Adam.

1:20:01 Caller You'll be all right.

1:20:03 Adam Okay, all right. Let me adjust that. It'll get you down to $27.50. Oh, hold on. A lot of attitude there. We're going back up to $29.75.

1:20:13 No, but the question is that I've only had sex with my boyfriend, and he's what I guess would be called a high-risk sexual partner. He was kind of like a slut back in the day.

1:20:22 Adam Wait a minute.

1:20:23 Caller High-risk sexual partner.

1:20:25 Adam You've only been with one guy? Yeah. But he's like a Haitian cross-dressing junkie or what?

1:20:33 No, I don't know. He was just in the Air Force, so he like, you know, had sex with straight women.

1:20:38 Caller This is tough because you've only been with the one guy in the Air Force.

1:20:43 Adam The one guy you've been with is the gay stewardess who brought the AIDS over. We're still at 29.75. We're still at 29.75. I'm holding at that. Yeah, go ahead.

1:20:55 All right, so we've always used condoms and it's never broken, so I'm kind of wondering if my gynecologist is either mistaken or how else can you get HPV if you're probably not transmitting it? I guess, you know, the condom's not breaking, so no.

1:21:11 Drew Yes, it depends how, I guess it's possible through oral sex, but I've never seen that.

1:21:18 Adam Does he do a good job with the oral sex?

1:21:20 Yeah, he's pretty good.

1:21:22 Adam Pretty good, but not great?

1:21:23 No, he's good.

1:21:26 Drew She's got nothing to compare.

1:21:27 Adam She's a real good?

1:21:28 No, no, no, she has done that before. I'm not the...

1:21:31 Adam Okay, so he's... oh, we just went up 148.

1:21:35 But he's never had any warts, and I don't know, I know there's a lot of different kinds, so I'm just kind of wondering if it's like, it just goes through the condom or whatever, or could it not have it?

1:21:44 Drew He doesn't have to have any visible warts to carry the virus, and sometimes it can get sort of from around the base of the penis. The condom doesn't go all the way to the base. And the wart is a hard one to prevent transmission with the condom. It's reduced, the transmission rate is reduced with the condom, but it's a hard one to prevent.

1:22:02 Okay.

1:22:04 Something Corporate Does that stick with you?

1:22:05 Drew It depends, yeah, the ones that cause the cervical cancers are the ones that do tend to persist. Some of them go away over five or ten years, but the ones that stay around are going to be a problem. And you just got to get regular pap smears and stay on top of it.

1:22:19 Adam Stacey, were you going to college, you're working?

1:22:22 Caller No, I'm in law school.

1:22:25 Adam You're smart, Mark Cook. I'm going to see if I can work on this number here. I get it down to about $26.50 now. Bring it way down from there.

1:22:32 Something Corporate Come on. He's going to, if you pay him the amount of money that he's quoting, he'll come over and spend a weekend with you.

1:22:42 Caller Get rid of the Haitian.

1:22:44 Adam You understand, if I did corporate gigs, I'd probably be getting 10 times this much. So I'm cutting you a break. How tall are you?

1:22:52 Caller 5'4.

1:22:54 Adam 5'4? What are you coming in at?

1:22:57 Caller Well, I'll tell you the truth, but you won't believe me anyway.

1:23:00 Caller 115?

1:23:02 Caller That's reasonable.

1:23:03 Something Corporate That sounds reasonable.

1:23:04 Adam You just said bye to $326.

1:23:09 Caller He has a big guy?

1:23:14 Caller No, he's like 5'10.

1:23:15 Caller He's got a complex about being short.

1:23:18 Adam Really, when it's Napoleon?

1:23:20 Something Corporate I'm in trouble, I guess.

1:23:22 Caller Well, you know, under average.

1:23:24 Caller Ooh, all right.

1:23:26 Adam We'll see how it is, Stacey. Is the flyboy big?

1:23:29 Caller I don't think you're under average, Andrew.

1:23:30 Something Corporate Hey, I appreciate that.

1:23:31 Adam Does your boyfriend have a big honker?

1:23:33 Actually, he does.

1:23:35 Adam He does. Okay, forget it. I looked at my schedule. It's not working. We can't squeeze in. It's going to be a while.

1:23:46 Drew Stacey must be at SC.

1:23:49 Adam Where are you going to school?

1:23:50 Caller See, I don't want to tell because that's how I go to SC.

1:23:56 Caller That was really quick from I don't want to tell. Same sentence.

1:23:59 Something Corporate I think that she was deflecting.

1:24:03 Adam That big dork, that's a deal breaker for me. I've got too much business I can do around the country without this. I don't need that. You understand? I didn't work to get where I am to come sliding in after some kind of pain came between his legs. Ring a dinner bell.

1:24:24 Drew You don't deserve that.

1:24:26 Adam That's an insult. I don't need that. Nobody needs that. I like when people do that. I don't need that. Nobody needs that. I really speak for everyone on the planet. Something corporate in studio tonight. We'll take a quick break.

1:24:39 Caller We'll be right back. Love line.

1:24:44 Caller My hair. My hair.

1:25:09 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. That's the good doctor, Dr. Drew. Brian, William, and Andrew, all here from Something Corporate. I forgot how much I love these guys, Drew.

1:25:20 Something Corporate Oh, you're making us all fuzzy.

1:25:24 Adam It's been over a year.

1:25:26 Drew That's amazing.

1:25:27 Caller Yeah. We were in the old studios last time.

1:25:29 Drew Yeah.

1:25:29 Something Corporate Did you actually go to the old studio by accident tonight, William?

1:25:32 Caller Yeah, tonight I actually drove to the old studio, because I looked at the email and it said Venice, and I'm like, it's the same old place, and so I drove there and I'm like, wait, this isn't right.

1:25:39 Something Corporate It's not working.

1:25:40 Adam Yeah, got to make that clear.

1:25:42 Caller Yeah.

1:25:42 Adam Fire your people. We'll fire ours. We'll start fresh.

1:25:45 Something Corporate Sounds good.

1:25:45 Adam Joe?

1:25:47 Caller Yeah.

1:25:47 Adam You're 23? What's up?

1:25:51 Caller Well, I like porn, but my wife doesn't.

1:25:56 Drew Yeah.

1:25:56 Caller She doesn't, you know, she just thinks it's wrong.

1:26:02 Drew Does she not like that you watch? She not only doesn't appreciate it, she doesn't like that you watch it. Is that right?

1:26:11 Caller Right.

1:26:12 Drew Yeah. A little complex there for Joe, I guess.

1:26:15 Caller She's not too harsh about it. She just doesn't want to watch it.

1:26:19 Adam She doesn't want to watch it with you.

1:26:21 Caller Right. The thing is, though, that she's, you know, prude when it comes to the sexual department. I mean, it's, the thing that bothers me is that I can't touch her with my hand. She let me, you know, we have fine sex life, but I can't touch her. It turns her off, you know, she pulls away. It's kind of odd. And I was wondering, you know, what the deal with that was.

1:26:45 Drew You touch her anywhere?

1:26:46 Caller No, just just in the genital area.

1:26:51 Caller Oh, really?

1:26:52 Adam I think I could pass that eventually.

1:26:55 You know, no, we passed that.

1:26:56 Adam I'm past the finger banging phase of my life. I'm through with that. We could hang. You just you get to touch her with your penis. That's all right. You're right.

1:27:06 Drew It's perfect.

1:27:07 Adam Yeah. What's yeah. What else? She has boobs are so big she can't stand up and she makes so much money you don't know where to put it all.

1:27:16 Caller No, that's just about it.

1:27:18 Adam All right. All right. Was anything anything happened to her? Was she molested or anything or abused?

1:27:25 Caller Yeah, she said some about that.

1:27:29 Drew Yeah, it sounds like that. By the way.

1:27:32 Caller Yeah, did mention that.

1:27:33 Drew Yeah, but still.

1:27:33 Adam Yeah. Well, who did this? Do you know?

1:27:36 Caller Who? Family? I guess cousin.

1:27:40 Drew So that's she's been traumatized. Yeah. You might.

1:27:44 Adam Yeah. What? I just think I'm going to pull the scab off this one.

1:27:49 Drew Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Probably Joe shouldn't be the one.

1:27:52 Adam It's an ugly scab, but you could get infected if you yank it off there, you know?

1:27:56 Drew I agree with you. I agree.

1:27:57 Adam Hey, Joe, has she ever got any therapy?

1:28:00 Caller Not that I am aware of.

1:28:02 Drew That would be a good plan right there.

1:28:04 Adam Therapy is just by the way, because I know a lot of folks aren't calling from New York or Los Angeles. That is where there's a Jewish guy who has patches on the sleeves of his sport coat. And he sits there and he scratches his chin while you cry and weep openly about what happened to you as a young person. And then you give him 90 bucks and you leave.

1:28:25 Something Corporate That can be effective.

1:28:26 Adam Joe, do they have anything like that where you're from?

1:28:30 Caller No. Well, I mean, I know there's psychiatry.

1:28:33 Drew Did you pull over on the side of the road or something? What's going on there?

1:28:35 Caller Yeah, I'm on the side of the road.

1:28:37 Adam Do you drive a truck, Joe?

1:28:39 Caller No, I just drive my car.

1:28:41 Drew But are you outside of your car right now?

1:28:44 Caller No, I just had the window down.

1:28:46 Adam Oh, just tempt us. You're calling from Colorado. What's the temperature over there?

1:28:51 Caller Probably about 55. I think it was about 55 today, though.

1:28:57 Adam Man, but at least it cools off at night. What do you do for a living, Joe?

1:29:03 Caller I play in a band.

1:29:05 Caller All right. Really?

1:29:07 Caller Huh?

1:29:08 Adam What do you do? What do you play?

1:29:10 Caller Kind of like heavy metal but ska mixed. So, you know, we got that reggae type beat but it's real heavy.

1:29:19 Adam What's the name of the band?

1:29:20 Drew Reggae Rap.

1:29:21 Caller No, Hardcore 30.

1:29:23 Adam Hardcore 30?

1:29:25 Caller Yeah.

1:29:25 Adam Nothing funny or interesting about that. Oh, I see.

1:29:30 Drew Oh, I see.

1:29:30 Adam It's got the three X's at the end.

1:29:33 Caller That's awesome.

1:29:34 Adam But everyone else is Hardcore XXX, right? See, because they think it's like a porn movie, right?

1:29:39 Drew Right, it's Hardcore 30.

1:29:40 Caller Is that supposed to be like that because you dig porn?

1:29:43 Caller Yeah, it's a double entendre.

1:29:48 Adam All right, Joe, you play the bass of the drums, though, right? You're in a front band, right?

1:29:53 Caller No, I play the drums, right?

1:29:55 Adam I can see you behind the kit there. Sorry. Sorry, I know. But it's like, I can't beat Joe's up there like, Hey, I hear wherever we are loves to rock, okay? All right, then. This next one was written, My wife won't let her touch me. Wait a minute. I've touched. She was molested. Joe, we got to get to the song. Hold on.

1:30:30 Drew I'll kick your ass.

1:30:30 Adam I'm a charismatic front man.

1:30:34 Drew All right, here we go.

1:30:37 Caller Maybe if Joe goes to therapy, or excuse me, his wife goes to therapy, she'll lighten up on the porn a little bit.

1:30:44 Adam Right.

1:30:45 Caller That probably helps.

1:30:47 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:30:48 Adam Listen, chicks, sometimes they get sane and they split.

1:30:56 Caller You got to watch that close.

1:30:58 Adam A little of that Stockholm syndrome is a good thing. You don't want them to start feeling too good about themselves. Eventually they leave, right? They think they can do better. Everybody's that way, by the way. As soon as they start feeling like they can do a little better, they want to trade up. Right? I mean, not that hardcore 30 is not going to take off. I know this band's due to hit any second now.

1:31:20 Drew Kristen, 18.

1:31:21 Adam Kristen? You're 18?

1:31:23 Caller Yeah.

1:31:24 Caller What's up?

1:31:26 Caller First of all, Drew, you are my hero.

1:31:28 Drew Oh, thank you.

1:31:29 Caller Well done.

1:31:32 Drew And that's that.

1:31:35 Caller All right.

1:31:37 Caller Actually, I'm calling because I'm like the hugest fan if I'm The Corporate.

1:31:41 Something Corporate Thank you.

1:31:42 Caller Like, I am in Michigan right now, actually, and it's like 2.45 in the morning. And I just went out and bought the new album.

1:31:50 Something Corporate You like it? Yeah. I guess it's kind of early.

1:31:52 Adam Nice.

1:31:54 Something Corporate What's your favorite song?

1:31:55 Adam And what's your favorite song? What's the temperature and what's your favorite song?

1:32:00 Caller The temperature is like half past freezing.

1:32:04 Adam Oh.

1:32:06 Caller Doesn't that drop your price down quite a bit?

1:32:08 Adam Yeah.

1:32:09 Drew You're coming out. You're just going.

1:32:11 Adam Yeah, I'm coming out there.

1:32:12 Caller Free.

1:32:12 Something Corporate Yeah, exactly.

1:32:14 Caller How hot is it out there?

1:32:15 Adam About 103.

1:32:16 Caller Real hot.

1:32:17 Caller That's ridiculous.

1:32:18 Drew Ridiculous, yeah.

1:32:19 Caller Yeah, well, when Something Corporate comes out on November 29th, they can experience the freezingness of me.

1:32:24 Something Corporate Yeah, we'll be out there.

1:32:24 Drew What?

1:32:25 Something Corporate Clutch Cargos are over there, right?

1:32:27 Drew Where is that? In Ann Arbor?

1:32:28 Something Corporate Pontiac. It's in Pontiac.

1:32:30 Adam Is this club called Clutch Cargo?

1:32:32 Drew I love that. Do you guys know what that refers to?

1:32:34 Adam It's a cartoon.

1:32:35 Drew What's even a cartoon is cardboard figures with human mouths.

1:32:39 Adam Yeah, they would actually put the mouth.

1:32:43 Drew Like the beginning of Spongebob, the pirate thing.

1:32:46 Caller Our bass players, we call them Clutch.

1:32:50 Something Corporate It's going to be like Clutch's day for the guys.

1:32:51 Drew What was Clutch Cargo's dog's name? Cattlefoot. Wow. He's old.

1:32:57 Adam Kristen.

1:32:57 Caller Yeah.

1:32:58 Adam So what's up? You got a question for the band?

1:33:00 Caller I'm actually thinking like what made you change the mood in like the album? Like it seems like this one's a little more mellow than like Kissing Drunk Girls and stuff.

1:33:10 Something Corporate Yeah, no, totally. I don't know. I think a lot of that has to do with writing half the songs on that last record when we were 16 or 17 years old. I mean, you know, not to say that that doesn't still exist and there isn't still, you know, that you won't ever see that side of us or anything like that. But I just think this record ended up kind of writing itself in a different way. I can't really explain it. I don't think we're really trying to do anything in particular. It just kind of came out this way.

1:33:37 Caller That last record, which was our first, was a collection of songs from like a big period of time, you know, from pretty young to right before we made the record. And this one was obviously a collection of songs that had happened that we had put together and that were written right before we made this record. So it's kind of more of a, more of a, you know, captures more of a certain time in our lives. And also I think it has to do with where we recorded to, just the vibe and the mood we had when we were doing it.

1:34:01 Adam Hey, Kristen, that'll have to answer your question. I was going to ask you if that answered your question. I've decided it has.

1:34:11 Something Corporate Thanks, Kristen. Take care.

1:34:13 Caller Thank you.

1:34:14 Adam We'll be right back after this.

1:34:16 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:34:18 Caller You looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person? One call is all you need to make.

1:34:23 Drew Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:34:26 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:38 Caller NFL Blitz Pro. Different from what you'd expect from Blitz or any other football video game.

1:35:02 Adam Well, that's the show, everybody. What a delight. Something Corporate, everybody.

1:35:06 Caller Thank you.

1:35:06 Something Corporate Thank you, guys.

1:35:07 Caller Pleasure.

1:35:08 Adam New CD is out now. It's called North. You can get it. And we suggest that you do. Thanks a lot for coming back, guys. Thank you, guys. Anytime. And until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Now listen up, everyone, who wants to kill a teenager.

1:35:27 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, October 20, 2003