Episode 1000569689440

1:08 Adam In one, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, we're talking racing. We have Sarah Fisher here tonight and Dan Wheldon, both in the Toyota Indy 400, which is coming up this weekend, this Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The race is Sunday. Saturday is qualifying and Friday is practice. Open to the public, by the way. And is that at the Fontana Speedway? Yes, you're correct. Yes, I think I went to this last year.

1:39 Drew Oh, really?

1:40 Adam Yes, I think I did. Horrible food at that place.

1:44 Drew But a great event.

1:46 Adam Great event, but let me tell you something about the food. They trap you in there. You're trapped.

1:52 Drew Well, it's like a big frying pan, right?

1:55 Adam I mean, you can't bring... you're just trapped. You're forced to eat S on a shingle and bad Pringles. But the event itself is spectacular. Dan is racist for the Andretti Green Team. But that's not the Cool Green Team. That's a different Green Team, right?

2:13 Guest Well, it's a Cool Team, but it's now renamed. It's the Andretti Green Racing Team.

2:18 Adam But was it the same Cool with the K, like the Cool Cigarettes?

2:21 Guest Yeah, it was owned by Barry Green. It's now been taken over by Michael Andretti, Kim Green and Kevin Savory. So it's a great team to be on.

2:31 Adam And Sarah has got quite the list of accomplishments here. She was voted the IRL's most popular driver for the past two years running. She became only the third woman in history to qualify for the Indianapolis 500. What happened in the 500?

2:51 Guest Oh, lots of things. This year we had a motor blow up on lap 15. So we didn't get to finish the race this year.

3:03 Adam Is Indy, I know it's the grandfather of all these races. It's the big show, at least as far as the public goes. But is it the fastest track or are they all relatively the same speed wise?

3:16 Guest Well, Indy is certainly where you see the top speeds. But as far as the action of side by side racing at the top speeds, you would get that more at somewhere like Chicago or Fontana this weekend. You can run 220 side by side, whereas at Indy you can't run 230 side by side.

3:35 Adam Right, 240 side. And you know, the whole thing about the side by side is the open wheel part of it really makes it hairy. I mean, everyone watches the stock car and the NASCAR and all that, but they're trading paint when wheels run up on each other, cars go sailing. It just seems like an accident waiting to happen and maybe it is. But are these cars as safe as stock cars or safer? Does anyone know?

4:01 Guest I think they're safer personally because when you hit the wall in one of these cars, they might blow apart and it looks horrendous. But the fact of the car taking that energy and those parts coming apart, that's where the car is absorbing the crash and your body is not absorbing the crash. And whereas when you're in a stock car, you're glued to steel frame. And it's not a soft material, so your body takes more of the impact in those kind of cars.

4:27 Adam So, I mean, there's definitely more technology involved with these cars. I mean, it's not quite Formula One, but it's a lot closer than about anything else.

4:38 Guest I would have to say as the series progresses, it's getting more and more like F1. The amount of technology that's involved, the amount of sensors on our cars that are logging, various pieces of information is out of this world. And that's why we can do these speeds relatively comfortably, and that's why we can run side by side.

4:57 Adam And it all gets fed back to the computer that's at the pit, and is there adjustments being made, suspension, engine, that kind of stuff? I mean, to some degree?

5:07 Guest I mean, even through a race, we'll constantly be making adjustments. We have adjustments in the cockpit, so the drivers definitely have to earn their money. But through a test day, which we've actually just done two at Fontana, we'd constantly be adjusting the car, dampers, wings, etc.

5:23 Adam It's amazing what the role that aerodynamics play in this.

5:28 Drew And a quarter of a thousand miles an hour.

5:31 Adam I never thought of it as a quarter of a thousand miles an hour. That should be your answer. Forget the 250. Say, I'm traveling a quarter of a thousand miles an hour, like Dr. Drew says. But, you know, it strikes me that somewhere, like whenever I love watching all these old vintage races and all the old footage and watching the Speed Network and all that kind of stuff. And it's just what these guys would do in the past in terms of, you know, fuel sitting on the fuel tanks and not wearing helmets. Or if they were wearing helmets, they were more like a horse riding. You know, the kind of thing you want a fox hunt with straps. You know, it was just basically a hardened skull cap with straps going along the side. They're sitting on top of the fuel tank. They weren't belted in. They didn't want to be belted in. Took some. I can never figure this out. And I mean, I got a bunch of thoughts on this. I'm just I'm just going to give them to you. I you know, the roll bar didn't really come into the car until about 10 years after World War Two. And in World War Two, we had we had flying fortresses with belly bubbles on them that maneuvered in a thousand different directions. I mean, the Germans were coming up with jets. So we had our own jets at the end of the war. The atomic bomb really couldn't figure out the piece of tube that went a little higher than your head in the car. I think we figured it out. I think the thing was, is those guys were pussies who put that tube on that went higher than their head.

6:56 Drew The hockey players didn't wear helmets.

6:58 Adam It was a bravado thing. Yeah, hockey players took them 75 years and seven million concussions to figure out that maybe a helmet would be nice.

7:07 Drew Then the face mask came a lot later.

7:09 Adam And hockey, it's barely there, barely there now. And the thing I like about hockey too, is the guys who now everyone's forced to wear the helmet, but nobody says they have to cinch up the chin strap. So it hangs nine inches below them like a bucket so that when their head hits the ground, the helmet pops off just before the skull makes contact with the ice. So there was a bravado thing in racing for sure. I mean, it was a daredevil sport. But I think a lot of the bravado, I think the bravado is expressed in the driving now, but not in the, hey, I'm wearing a T-shirt and underpants.

7:44 Drew The exposure, yeah, not the exposure, not the speed.

7:47 Adam Would you agree with that?

7:49 Guest Well, I think I tested the roll bar at Indy, so I'm glad I had it on, to tell you the truth.

7:55 Adam Flip the car? How fast were you going?

7:58 Guest We were just going into turn three, so it's got to have been about 240, but I was trying to do the side-by-side thing at Indy as well as Fontana. But no, I think, yeah, I thought we were brave, but when you look back at those guys, and I mean, they were out of control.

8:15 Adam They were going about as fast as one of those Razor scooters are going. No, but they're going, whatever, they're going 100 miles an hour, 90 miles an hour, but they're on these bias ply 70 series, you know, 10-speed tires are like folding under the car around each corner. I mean, you look at, you go back and look at some of that stuff like Le Mans. Le Mans, they're just flying down a street, and they were going 200 miles an hour back in the later 60s and stuff, all those. Oh, yeah. I mean, Le Mans like, you know, GT40s and some of the Ferraris and stuff like that, and some crazy Porsche, you know, the wide open unlimited classes. And they just have footage of them going down the street, and it's at night, and it's raining, and the street is lined with big oak trees. And people. And people. But huge trees and no railing. Like, you just catch the tree. And then people standing around. I like the people that stand around at the rally races who stand on the outside of the corner drinking beer, just watching car after car sideways and out of control with a little air under them just barely going by them. And then surprised when one rolls into them. Shocked. How could this happen? Really? How could it not happen? I like rallies that you guys gotta get in a rally race. There's zero rules because they don't do it here. It's in Egypt, it's in Africa, they're out in parts of Europe unknown, and there's no rules. Just go drive on that cliff road and well be careful, don't hit the donkey. That's... Alright, but you guys are... What are we talking about, Drew? I got a little fired up there. Yeah. You guys are all... All the cars are running the same motor, right?

9:55 Guest No, there's three different manufacturers. There's a set of rules.

10:00 Adam Four?

10:02 Guest No, three. He threw me off. No. And you have to abide by a certain standard of rules.

10:08 Adam Displacement and things like that?

10:09 Guest Yeah, but they have different manufacturers that come up with different engines that all abide by the same rules but try to go with different theories.

10:20 Adam Who's running?

10:21 Guest Chevrolet, Toyota and Honda.

10:24 Adam And they're all small V8s? Small displacement V8s?

10:32 Guest Well, guess what? It's pretty good, I think. We're always looking for more.

10:38 Adam Right, but do they, is the rule, is the rule because I get confused sometimes, there's lots of different racing factions and lots of different rules, but is the rule that the engine displacement cannot be over, I don't know, 3 liters or 2.9 or whatever it is. Oh, you guys don't know? I run into this each time. There's got to be a displacement rule.

11:00 Drew Whatever the top.

11:01 Adam But you can make as much horsepower as you want, given that displacement, like given all these criteria, go ahead and knock yourself out, see how much horsepower you can get.

11:09 Guest Yeah, that's the goal. I mean, you want to have a faster engine package than the next guy. You want to be able to get away with, you know, on a short track, you want to have more torque, but on a track like Fontana, you want to have a lot more high end. And, you know, really, really you want two different motor designs, but right now we have one and we try to take that band and make it even from the bottom all the way to the top.

11:32 Adam And how do you decide which one you're going with?

11:34 Guest That's something that Chevy and Toyota and Honda go for as far as, you know, the torque bands that they have.

11:42 Adam But if you start with a Honda at the beginning of the series, is it Honda all the way through the season or can you swap engines around?

11:49 Guest It'd be very difficult to swap engines around. There's a lot of rule, I mean, there's restrictions. When you sign up with Honda and you say, hey, I want to run your motor for this year, let's say Chevrolet on my case, you know, you're committed to running that engine for the whole year.

12:05 Adam Right, because they're sponsoring it. They're the boss.

12:07 Guest You're working together to try and get an overall package to run faster and you're helping them with R&D and they're helping you with R&D. So you don't want to split off and leave them in the middle of the season.

12:19 Adam I mean, I'm hit. I know, I know what it's like. I'm sponsored by this microphone company. No. All right, Drew, where are we?

12:27 Drew Here we go.

12:27 Adam We're going to the phones? Yeah. Drew doesn't know anything about cars. He's jealous.

12:31 Drew By comparison to you, I know nothing.

12:33 Guest He should come to the race on Sunday.

12:35 Adam Yeah, he won't go. He's scared of things that go fast and make noises and are fun. But you guys really don't know the engine displacement, the maximum engine displacement? There's got to be, it's got to be kind of small like three liters or something like that.

12:49 Guest I don't know.

12:49 Guest No, I don't know exactly.

12:51 Adam We're going to look into this. I'm going to find out for you guys.

12:56 Who cares?

12:58 Adam I care, you jackass. Me having fun every once in a while.

13:02 Drew Hey, Dawn.

13:03 Adam Boring bit.

13:04 Drew Dawn? What's going on?

13:08 Guest Okay, I just found out just recently in the last week that I'm pregnant. I'm five to six weeks, and the guy that I'm pregnant by I've been seeing...

13:23 Drew I'm going to interrupt you for a second, Dawn. The guy who I'm pregnant by is just like, what are you doing now for it? Well, right now, the guy I'm pregnant by applies that A, he's not around, B, there's at least another father with another child around.

13:37 Adam Oh, really?

13:38 Drew This is the guy.

13:39 Adam This is the current guy. Not the last guy.

13:42 Drew Don, you have other kids?

13:44 Guest Yeah, I do have other kids.

13:46 Adam Shawhead?

13:48 Guest No, he is around, though.

13:49 Drew He is?

13:51 Guest Yeah, we just broke up two nights ago.

13:54 Adam Well, he was around.

13:56 Guest Yeah. We've been off and on for 14 months, more on than off. But I had a lot of difficulty getting him to express himself emotionally to me. He would not tell me he loved me. He never once told me he loved me. He only ever told me he cared very deeply for me one time.

14:15 Drew So naturally enough, you'd want this to be the father of another child.

14:19 Adam Yeah, why did you let him get you pregnant?

14:21 Guest Well, actually, I was told that I could not conceive children anymore. I have endometriosis and I've...

14:27 Adam Who is that guy, by the way? I'd like to kick that guy in the balls. I'd like to kick that guy in the balls and the guy says, you'll never walk again. But six months later, I'm dancing.

14:37 Drew Exactly why no one says things like that. What your doctor said to you, you could have trouble conceiving because of endometriosis. You may not be able to conceive.

14:44 Guest No, actually, he told me with 100% certainty that I could not conceive because of the blood work that I was not ovulating.

14:51 Adam Okay. Doesn't it seem like...

14:52 Guest And I'm also allergic to all kinds of birth control.

14:56 Adam Listen, I hate to tell anyone to sue anybody, but doesn't it seem like you got a case?

15:00 Guest Yeah. My mom said the same thing and so did the father of the baby. He said the same exact thing. The only problem with that is he probably didn't put it in writing, so I have no proof. But I am looking into that.

15:14 Drew I'm doubting that he said that.

15:15 Guest But my question is really...

15:17 Adam Well, here's my question, too, just by the way, doctor. What is in it for you as a doctor, yes, you, doctor, to tell a patient 100% you're not going to walk or 100%, you cannot conceive a child?

15:31 Drew You never say that.

15:31 Adam Why would you?

15:32 Drew Well, you just say, in my opinion, this is how this is going to play out.

15:36 Adam Right.

15:36 Drew You say, in my opinion.

15:38 Adam Well, anyway. Don. So what do we need to do? You're five weeks pregnant. Now, you already have four kids? Oh, my God. You didn't think you could get pregnant?

15:49 Guest This is actually my eighth pregnancy.

15:50 Adam You could have filled your vagina with cement. You could get pregnant.

15:53 Guest Yeah. This is actually my eighth pregnancy. I've had...

15:56 Adam Your eighth pregnancy. Well, touche. I stand corrected.

16:01 Drew So along the way, you didn't learn about birth control?

16:03 Guest Well, no. I'm allergic to birth control. I should find...

16:07 Adam What do we got to do?

16:09 Guest Okay.

16:10 Drew What's the question?

16:10 Guest My main concern is now that we're apart, we're still in contact. He wants to get an abortion. I'm iffy about it, but I don't want to force him into a pregnancy or raising a child and then have him regret or neglect me or the child.

16:29 Adam Who's raising all the other kids?

16:31 Guest Me.

16:32 Adam Okay. Where are all the fathers of those kids?

16:35 Guest Actually, they're not around. They're in their lives, but they're not around for me, but they do good jobs.

16:44 Drew How many fathers are there? I feel like I'm talking to my cat.

16:46 Guest Four.

16:47 Adam Four fathers. Four kids, four dads? And this would be five?

16:53 Guest Yeah.

16:57 Adam I think this is a record for a white person. I didn't want to say it, but I don't think you're going to come close to the black or Mexican record here, but for the Anglo, I think this is a record. This may be North American. And I mean that's an homage to the black and Mexican man. I'm not saying, I'm not trying to put them down, I'm just saying you may be looking at some sort of North American white record here. I think it's five and a half. I'm going to have to look into that.

17:24 Drew So what's the plan? What is the plan, Don?

17:26 Guest I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.

17:27 Drew What's the plan?

17:29 Guest Okay. What is your plan? I need to know a male's point of view or a male's opinion on should I pursue him still, how he might be feeling.

17:42 Adam Get the abortion. Just get the abortion. Give the child up for adoption. You know you can get pregnant, don't get pregnant again. I don't trust this guy. I kind of like this guy just because you picked him and he's an idiot.

17:54 Drew Are you a trauma survivor? Were you sexually abused or something?

17:57 Guest Um, actually, um, yes, no.

17:59 Drew Of course.

18:00 Adam Oh, come on.

18:01 Guest I was almost molested as a child. I remember the situation clearly, um, but he didn't actually touch me physically.

18:08 Drew Were you physically abused?

18:09 Guest He almost, um, no, never.

18:12 Adam Okay, what's your excuse then?

18:16 Drew You can't maintain a relationship.

18:19 It's really hard for me, um, the one with the lines, the lines, stop having the kids though.

18:24 Drew You're not going to maintain it with this guy. It's not going to happen.

18:26 Guest So, so basically what you're saying is, regardless of the baby, even if I get the abortion, that, that he does not care about me, that I should just drop the whole situation.

18:36 Drew Well, he's told you that and just the fact that you were attracted to him.

18:38 Guest No, no, he told me he did care about me.

18:40 Adam He said cared about, but he wouldn't even say love, you had to back him in a corner and he said, you know, maybe he had feelings for you.

18:46 Guest Now, the other day.

18:48 Drew Don, look, Don, you having been an abuse survivor like that makes you attracted to guys that are not available and abusive. Until you get some treatment, you're going to continually pick dysfunctional relationships. This guy is not into this relationship. He's backing out. He wants out. He's angry about the pregnancy. The pregnancy is not going to galvanize this relationship. It's just going to make him resentful and maybe abuse the kid. If you have the baby, please give it up for adoption.

19:10 Adam Or just let it go. You know what I mean? Give it a fighting chance. Yeah, like a kid will do with a frog or a lizard, you know? I did that with my rabbits once. I know coyotes ate them like two days later. But they were too big for my apartment and we just we took them up to the hills up in Laurel Canyon. We just let them go. Hey, that's Darwinism, baby. It's all right.

19:29 Guest I second that.

19:30 Adam If the kid does survive, it's going to be quite an individual. Do you know what I'm saying? Learning, using a bark for a scratch pad to learn arithmetic, wearing like beaver pelt, you know, ferro child, ferro child, he will be, yeah. Oh, my Christ's sake. I can't believe that nobody gets involved with these people and tells them to stop cranking out the kids.

19:53 Drew She's a menace to herself, society, society.

19:58 Adam Jesus Christ, is there a politician in this great United States of ours that's not pussy enough to step up, or not such a big puss that they can't step up? This is where we have to focus, everybody. It's this. It's 25, got 35 kids and four different dads and going on five. Nobody's going to say a word about this. Now we got to talk about taxes. Brian?

20:26 Hey, how's it going?

20:26 Adam You're 18?

20:28 Caller Yeah.

20:28 Adam You got a question for our guest?

20:30 Caller Yeah, I do. I was wondering when you guys got into racing and how you did it and what would be the best way for me to do it because I've always aspired to do that.

20:40 Guest Good, a normal question. I can handle that. I got started in racing when I was five and my parents were into racing, sprint cars and go-karts more as a hobby than a career. Everyone in my family did something in racing, so if I would have done anything else, I'd have been the weird one. So I started in quarter midgets and go-karts and ran sprint cars and midgets and by luck I got into Indy cars.

21:07 Drew By luck? What does that mean?

21:08 Guest Well, by luck, my first car owner, Dale Pelfrey, was interested in midget drivers and wanted to bring a midget driver along into his Indy car for the last race of the season and called me and said, hey, do you want to test for me and take your rookie test? And I mean, I jumped right on that, who wouldn't? And then from there, I just had, you know, Derek Walker with Walker Racing had seen me do my rookie test and was interested in signing me for three years after that.

21:37 Adam How do you do your rookie test?

21:39 Guest Well, you get in a car and there's what, I haven't, it's been four years since I've done it. Four stages.

21:46 Guest Four phases.

21:47 Guest Dan, you explain that.

21:48 Guest Basically, you turn up a particular track that the team decide and it has to be a feasible one. They put you pretty much on a place like Chicago or Fontana and I think you'll start your first phase off and you'll have to run ten laps between 200 and 205 mile an hour and you have to be within 200 and 205. They want to see that you can run consistently. Uh-huh. Then you'll do ten at 205 to 210 and then ten more at 215, 210 to 215 and then ten more at 220 plus. That would be at somewhere like Chicago. Basically, you have a senior IRL official checking your progress and making sure that you're safe on track. I have to say, I think the IRL is real good from that standpoint. Brian Barnhart had a... There was a new driver on the track at the last race, Ed Carpenter, and Brian would ask how he was running with us guys in traffic and he did a real good job. So, they're real safety conscience.

22:49 Adam That's nice. That's kind of impressive, like cranking it up. And then I like the idea of having to keep it between those two speeds. Do you have a digital speedometer like on the steering wheel?

23:00 Guest Yeah, we have it. You know, like when you go to the arcades and you see those computer games with the steering wheel with all the different buttons on? We have basically that. We've got the lights on the top that tell us when to shift and then like we have a thin little dash. It's pretty bright and it tells you your running speed, your fuel mixture and mile per gallon.

23:22 Adam Is it harder to keep a car like let's like I think we're just talking about this last night. It's harder to drive on the freeway when a cop's crawling on the third lane. He's going 53. It's hard to sort of feather the throttle and keep from passing him. Is it harder to drive between 2 and 205 than it is at 240?

23:42 Guest You know what, Indy, I did and this is the truth. We had a slight issue with set up on my, it was my rookie orientation there and I did a lap of about 185 average and it felt like I was doing 270 and then three days later I did a lap of over 230 average and it felt no problem.

24:03 Adam Because the car wasn't set up correctly?

24:04 Guest Yeah, it's just got to feel right and when it feels right, it feels easy and relatively slow.

24:11 Adam Would you say for Brian or anyone else getting started that go-karts is the easiest way to go? Get you the best experience?

24:18 Guest Yeah, that's how I started. I started off at four in go-karts and then basically just stayed in, in karting. My parents shipped me off to Italy at 14 and I spent a lot of time over there racing karts but that's the way everybody gets in now and seems to...

24:33 Drew Italy?

24:33 Guest Yeah.

24:34 Adam No, I mean Italy or karts?

24:35 Guest Yeah, karting is very big in Europe.

24:38 Adam Oh, it is?

24:38 Guest So I was moved to Italy to concentrate on racing.

24:40 Drew And is Italy the mecca of karting is that?

24:43 Guest I would say so, yeah.

24:44 Adam Really?

24:44 Guest Yeah.

24:45 Adam Wow, those guineas, I'll tell you. Crazy. Look at the soccer and go karts. All right, hey Brian?

24:53 Guest Yeah.

24:53 Drew There you go.

24:54 Adam Go to Italy, get a go kart. All right, that's fine. Oh, I love those Ferrari's. I can't stand stock cars or...

25:02 Drew Let's take a break and talk.

25:03 Let's hear what you can't stand during the break.

25:04 Adam You guys make fun of that stuff? You guys do, right? Stupid push rod, iron block engines.

25:09 Guest We do in Europe but now I'm over here. I gotta be a little bit more careful.

25:12 Adam Yeah. A bunch of idiots driving around in a circle.

25:15 Drew Second most popular sport in the country.

25:17 Adam I know. Think how many idiots call this show every night. Think all the idiots out there. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break, talk in Toyota, IRL. Sarah and Dan are both here. The big race is coming up in Fontana this Sunday, qualifying on Saturday, and we'll be right back.

25:44 Caller As many as one in three Americans with HIV don't know it. To find a testing location near you, call toll free 1-866-344-K-N-O-W.

25:50 Caller Call us at 1-866-344-K-N-O-W. With Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla, 94.7 NRK.

26:17 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Wilmer Valderrama is going to be in here tomorrow night from That 70s Show. And what the hell is that movie they've been pimping for the last? Seth Green was...

26:31 Caller Party Ball, Party Monster.

26:32 Drew Party Monster.

26:33 Adam Party Monster. Did you see it, Anderson?

26:35 Guest Yeah, I liked it very...

26:36 Caller The first hour was amazing, and then it kind of...

26:38 Drew And Andy Dick's coming in next week. All right.

26:43 Adam Dan Wheldon is here, Sarah Fisher is here. They both raced for the IRL, and Toyota's putting on a big race coming up this weekend in Fontana. It's... Is it 400 miles?

26:57 Guest Yeah, it's 400 miles, 200 laps.

27:01 Adam That's this Saturday and Sunday, by the way. Sunday is the day of the race. What... How long is it gonna take you to finish them 400 miles?

27:09 Drew 200 miles an hour.

27:11 Adam Well, yeah, but there's stops and pits and fueling and stuff like that.

27:15 Guest Two and a half, three hours?

27:16 Guest Yeah, it's normally about two and a half. I think it's gonna be a fast race this year for some reason. I can't see there being too many yellows.

27:22 Guest Yeah, we've had a couple races here recently that have gone nearly almost all green. We've only had a couple yellows.

27:29 Adam I think when I won... I think I won last... I always get drunk when I go to these things and then life just sort of... Whatever's behind you, it's just some sort of... Like you're going down some lake and the wake just sort of fades back into the lake and you can't really remember... You know, I can't remember his name. I don't remember. I introduce myself to people I haven't seen a thousand times. Yeah, it's nice. It's just... Yes, that's life. Your motorboat going through the lake and you're cutting a nice groove through it and you're creating a wake, but then when you turn around and look, you can't tell where you've been because it's just more like... Just flat like... That's my life, Drew. I think I went last year and I don't think there was an accident. That's what I'm going to say. Was there an accident last year?

28:13 Guest Actually, yes there was. There was? Because...

28:15 Adam Was it late in the day?

28:18 Guest No, it wasn't me. It was my teammate because I filled in for him at Nazareth in Nazareth, Pennsylvania. And then the next two weeks after that, and that's how I got my job with the team.

28:28 Adam Oh, really? Maybe I put a curse on him or something. I probably stayed for two hours and then left, so maybe it happened toward the end of the race.

28:36 Drew You were so loaded at the end, you don't know what the hell was going on.

28:38 Adam I staggered out onto the tracks and started yelling something about that. I was clenching my fist at every car, yelling slow down like an old man.

28:45 Guest Good times, though, right?

28:46 Adam Yeah, good times. All right, let's see where...

28:49 Drew Raising your cane at the...

28:50 Adam You young river diver...

28:53 Drew Hey, Joe, what's happening?

28:54 Yeah, now, Mark, what's up?

28:56 Adam What's happening?

28:57 You know, Adam, royalty. You, I don't know what it is, man. You're as good as royalty. If I had that chance to meet the president or you, wouldn't even be a choice.

29:12 Drew No way. What are you talking about?

29:13 Adam Here's the difference between me and the president. If you give me like a plane ticket and $1,000, I'll come to your house. Well, I'm just saying, I mean, I would do that. If I thought I could get the president to come to my house for a plane ticket and a thousand bucks, I would do it. Yeah, I would bring him. All right. Well, anyway, Joe, thanks.

29:32 Drew Speak to volumes about how he feels about you.

29:34 Adam What's up?

29:36 Well, I've had this problem for as long as I can remember. I mean, it's nothing, you know, that's come up recently, but I go back and forth between like wanting to be a girl. It's usually the hornier I get, the more I want to be a girl, you know, downtown, you see a hot chick or something.

30:02 Drew And you're not gay, is that right? Correct.

30:05 I have a girlfriend. We've been together for two and a half, little over two and a half years.

30:10 Drew So for you, when you become aroused, that's associated with a feeling of wanting to be somebody else.

30:16 Well, she doesn't, she knows about everything. I mean, I cross-dress and stuff, but, you know, what's that?

30:27 Adam Well, what about, you know, last week we had a doctor on here that gave those, Dr. Alter, gender reassignment surgeries. You ever think about that?

30:36 Yeah, no, I, you know, I'm a big guy.

30:40 Adam Oh, really? This is going to be funny. How, what, what size are you?

30:45 Well, I am 6'3, pretty close to 300.

30:49 I'm pushing 300.

30:50 Adam Now I'm at $2,000.

30:52 Yeah.

30:52 Adam Just keeps going up.

30:54 Drew But, did your parents used to give you messages such as, gee, if you'd only been a girl, we want to...

30:59 Well, my dad doesn't know a whole lot about it. I get my nails done.

31:04 Adam When you were young, what, what, what do you think sent you down this path?

31:07 Drew One of the ways this sometimes happens is a lot of mess.

31:09 Well, I don't know if something sent me down. I mean, my mom was always, you know, she's not in my life anymore and she hasn't been for a while.

31:16 Drew Why?

31:17 But she's a hardcore alcoholic. Just too many problems. I like analogies. Like Adam, I say, you know, you can only go into a burning fire so many times before you get burnt too bad to go back and try and save stuff, you know, so.

31:30 Drew That's fine. As far as I'm concerned. Could be a healthy thing.

31:33 Adam We're at 2,300 now for the week and a half.

31:36 Drew And was she pretty chaotic when you were growing up?

31:38 Yeah. My brother, I have one brother, he's four and a half years older than I am, you know, and he's pretty much done the same thing.

31:45 Drew He cross dresses also?

31:47 No, no, he wrote her off. Sorry. You know, we don't talk to her.

31:50 Drew Did she used to give you messages about being a girl, dressing you up or wishing you'd been a girl?

31:55 Not really. I, you know, I'm pretty good at hiding it from a lot of people. My girlfriend knows.

32:00 Drew Joe, Joe, stay with me. I'm asking you a question about your mom. When you were growing up.

32:04 Adam She has a tracking problem.

32:05 Drew She put a $500 surcharge. When you were growing up, did your mom used to dress you up or humiliate you or say things like, I wish you'd been a girl if you'd only had a girl, make me some money?

32:17 No, she never said that. She was always, I mean, she'd beat us and stuff and kick us out all the time. I mean, I slept on the floor of my brother's pickup truck a few times.

32:30 Adam What do you do now, Joe?

32:33 Drive public transit.

32:36 Adam But here's the deal, you should drive a bus?

32:39 Caller Yeah.

32:41 Adam They're just holding a 28.

32:42 Drew You shouldn't even consider anything like a gender reassignment. You're a trauma survivor and you should have that.

32:47 Caller Yeah, I don't know.

32:49 Adam And where do you live?

32:50 Caller Minnesota.

32:56 Adam You have an apartment or you're a homeowner?

32:59 Caller Actually, I just bought a trailer. We lived in a house.

33:01 Adam Oh, hold on a second. I got a crunch of numbers here.

33:06 Drew It's in Minnesota, though. It's not in Oklahoma. Just take it springtime. You can't be on the way.

33:11 Adam I got to say we're up to 3,700. Minimum. How far from the airport are we? And those are off weekends. You know what I mean? That's not summer, what do hotels call that, during down times?

33:25 Drew Off season.

33:26 Adam Off season. We're 3,700. 3,700. And that's a short weekend. That's coming in Saturday morning, leaving Sunday in the afternoon. Where was he? Six.

33:38 Drew How far from the airport are you, Joe?

33:40 Caller Probably about 12 miles.

33:43 Guest About 12 miles.

33:44 Adam Down to 3,500.

33:46 Drew Adam loves that. Save some cab.

33:48 Adam Save some cab fare in and out. In and out.

33:51 Caller All right.

33:51 Adam So you just bought a trailer.

33:53 Caller We lived in a house for about a year and a half and we bought a trailer to save money. I had three vehicles. I sold two of them. Yes. Well, actually we had four between us, but I had three myself and she has her one.

34:07 Adam And is your girlfriend aware of all this and she sticks by you?

34:12 Caller Yeah. She knew about some of it before we started going out and then now she's not aware of it all.

34:18 Drew Joe, Joe, I'm asking you to listen to us when we start speaking, listen, okay? Just don't keep talking. Is she an alcoholic, your girlfriend?

34:26 Caller No, she does. Actually, she just turned 21, so I'm kind of getting worried about it.

34:30 Adam Now we're down to 3,200. We're moving in the right direction.

34:33 Drew What are you worried about?

34:34 Caller Well, you know, you turn 21, you go out to the party.

34:38 Adam It was a little over. Yeah, she would have made her move. In Minnesota, if you're going to start drinking, you start at 10.

34:43 Caller Oh, yeah. Well, she'd go over to her friend's house, but nothing real hardcore. I mean, I've had a 12-pack of Smirnoff in the fridge for about three and a half months. So there's probably about five left.

34:52 Adam We're down to 3,100 now because there's something I can do, right, when I walk through the door, get that 12-pack of Smirnoff. Just killing the pain. Again, we're about $3,000. Again, this doesn't involve tipping or meals or anything. It's probably coming in closer to five with airfare. But I think we can work this out. Joe, how about I'll make you a deal. You save the money. You are going to pay me to fly out there and visit with you and your family and spend it on therapy because I agree with Drew for a change. You were traumatized and that's what's created this.

35:27 Drew So scrambled this, right?

35:28 Adam Yeah, you got shaken like a snow globe when you were a kid and now you need to go to somebody and sort things out a little bit.

35:35 Drew If you want to go to Al-Anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics, a 12-step program, that will be very helpful as well. But I think individual therapy would go a long way.

35:44 Adam Jenny?

35:46 Guest Yeah?

35:46 Adam You're 22?

35:48 Guest Yes.

35:48 Adam Let's see how much it would take for me to come out to your pad.

35:51 Guest Oh, Adam, I love you when it takes too much.

35:54 Adam Oklahoma.

35:56 Guest Yeah, and Drew, not everybody is the hillbilly that's from Oklahoma.

35:59 Drew That's not me. I didn't say that.

36:02 Guest Is that you, Adam?

36:03 Adam No, well, it could have been. Where do you live in Oklahoma?

36:07 Guest I live in Oklahoma City.

36:10 Adam What kind of dwelling?

36:12 Guest I live in an apartment.

36:16 Adam Student.

36:17 Drew Where do you go to school?

36:21 Guest I was disappointed because you were supposed to come out there.

36:24 Adam That's four-year university, right?

36:26 Drew Jenny, Jenny. $1,200. People can't hear. The mic's not up or something. What's going on here?

36:30 Adam Sure. People tune out when you talk.

36:32 Drew I guess so. Jenny, I did speak there.

36:34 Adam Did you?

36:34 Drew I did. You're talking about the Bronchos?

36:40 The Broncos, yeah.

36:42 Drew That's where I've been.

36:43 Adam You downed $1,100 for ignoring Drew when he came into town.

36:46 Drew And I'm saying Bronchos.

36:48 Guest I was so excited, but then the Twin Towers thing happened.

36:51 Adam Back up to $1,300 for her incessant rambling.

36:54 Drew That's right. I couldn't come out because of the little incident in New York, and I came out the following year. Broncho is apparently the original word for Bronco.

37:02 Adam Oh, really?

37:03 Drew It was originally called a Broncho, and they made a big point of saying, well, our mascot is the Bronco. I had that giant horse. You have a giant Bronco? I've got that in my study.

37:12 Caller Do I really?

37:13 Guest I'm sorry.

37:14 Adam All right. Do you have a question for our guest, by the way?

37:19 Guest No. Actually, I don't know much about our guest.

37:22 Adam Next question is for our guest.

37:24 Guest Well, actually, I do have a couple of questions, and they might be kind of related. I'm not really sure. But my first one is, I've been sexually active since I was almost 18 years old. And every time, it seems like every time I have sex, it's very painful. And I've tried to be checked out, or I've tried to get checked out for it, but my gynecologist says there's nothing wrong. But it's getting continually worse, and the feelings are different. Like I cannot enjoy sex at all. Like somebody is rubbing me wrong from inside, you know?

38:00 Drew Are you on medication?

38:02 Guest No, I'm not.

38:03 Drew No birth control pills?

38:05 Guest I was on birth control from, since I was about 18 to about 20 something, almost to 21, but I took myself off because I gained so much weight.

38:19 Drew But you've continued to have those symptoms in spite of being off the birth control pill, yes?

38:24 Guest I'm sorry, what did you say?

38:25 Drew Have you continued to have these symptoms in spite of being off the birth control pill?

38:29 Guest Yeah, and it's just, it's worse and it's very painful. I don't even want to have a sex name.

38:36 Drew Same partner the whole way through?

38:37 Adam Hold on, nine grand.

38:40 Drew Same partner?

38:41 Guest I want to, it's just I'm scared because I'm afraid I'm going to hurt and then take my boyfriend off.

38:46 Adam What did you say, boyfriend?

38:48 Guest Yeah.

38:49 Drew The difference between men and women, the pain could be excruciating, you could lose a limb each time. Sure. Too bad. Jenny, the same partner that the symptoms are associated with?

39:02 Guest I'm sorry, you cut it out again.

39:03 Drew Is it the same partner that gives you the pain or a different guy?

39:07 Guest Yeah, yeah.

39:08 Drew Same guy.

39:08 Guest For a year.

39:09 Drew Anything we should know about him, anything about him that might be predisposing to this?

39:14 Guest No, you know, I mean, he's not, I've only been with like a couple of people and none of them have been like large.

39:22 Adam He's not very well.

39:22 Guest It's almost like they're hitting my stomach.

39:24 Adam Down to $900. Okay, all right, now look, you got, she's been to the gynecologist, she's not been abused.

39:34 Drew We didn't get that on the abuse page.

39:36 Adam You ever abused sexually or physically?

39:38 Guest Not that I, you know, I've always wondered, seriously, but no. I, and that kind of, I mean, I don't, I don't think I have, I'm sure I would have remembered.

39:48 Adam If you, if you don't think you have, maybe you weren't.

39:50 Drew Are you using a condom when you have these, these symptoms?

39:55 Do you, do you, oh yeah.

39:57 Guest I know, I should be using protection, I know, I know, I just.

40:00 Drew And do, do you guys use lubricants?

40:03 Guest No.

40:03 Drew All right, well that would be the place to start, because it's a rubbing feeling you get.

40:08 Adam All right, try the lubricants. If you're not going to try the lubricants, don't pick up the phone. I mean, that's the first thing you try, right? Well, we came in at $2,400. That's a reasonable price for me to get out to Oklahoma and spend the weekend with you. And again, that doesn't include tips, airfare. Per diem.

40:29 Drew Meals.

40:29 Adam Per diem. I'm going to need, you know, $75. What I call wham, walking around money. All right, Sarah Fisher and Dan Wheldon, they're both here tonight. Both race car drivers, both going to be down at Fontana for the Toyota 400 this weekend. That's a Sunday, but qualifying on Saturday and a good time to be had by one and all. Speeds of 240 miles an hour. Yes, Drew?

40:55 Drew I was saying we need to talk about Bad Ronald when we get back.

40:58 Adam No.

40:58 Drew Yes.

40:59 Adam After this.

41:07 Caller Loveline on 94.7 NRK. Welcome, Loveline, with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

41:35 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Wilmer Valderrama is in here tomorrow night from That 70s Show. Dan Wheldon and Sarah Fisher are here tonight, both race car drivers. Gonna be at Fontana this weekend, doing the IRL, which is one of the harder sets of initials to really say without screwing up. You're saying IRL a few times.

41:58 Drew IRL, IRL, IRL.

42:00 Adam Are you lucky? It's true if you break it up and you go IRL, you can do it, but if you just try to go IRL, it sounds like you're going IRL.

42:12 Drew You're right.

42:12 Adam I'm gonna look into that. See if they can change that. That's the Toyota 400, which is this weekend Sunday. Speeds, over 240 miles an hour. Open wheels. These are modern day gladiators, Drew.

42:27 Drew Modern day.

42:28 Adam Thank you. See? Repeat the last two words I say. You'll always come out on top.

42:33 Drew On top.

42:34 Adam Casey?

42:35 Caller Yeah.

42:36 Adam You're 21?

42:37 Caller Yes, sir.

42:38 Adam You have a question?

42:40 Caller Yeah. I guess my question would be for Sarah. Well, you said you run a lot of sprints and midgets, so I guess your family was around a lot of mini stocks and modified and stuff like that, right?

42:54 Guest Not really. I mean, I ran like All-Star Circuit of Champions and World of Outlaws sprint cars, like Knoxville.

43:02 Caller Well, then I guess my question would be...

43:04 Adam I like to come to the stands of that place.

43:08 Caller I guess my question would be, do you think that driving on dirt helps you to prepare to drive on concrete, or what would be your feel on that?

43:17 Adam What about dirt versus concrete? Does it prepare you for concrete because you're used to driving almost sort of sideways? Or is it just two different things?

43:29 Guest Well, it's two completely different things. In a sprint car, first of all, you have a front engine car, so you feel the way that the car handles more through your body instead of your hands. Whereas in a rear engine car, you feel it more through your hands.

43:44 Adam Interesting.

43:45 Guest So that was something that I had to learn when I got straight to Indy cars. But dirt is actually a lot more fun because you can cowboy a car. And you don't have to be, you have to be precise because you have to be very smooth at big half mile tracks like at Eldora Speedway at Ohio. But as far as taking it in and doing a slide job on a guy, coming in on the bottom and sliding up in front of him on the top, you can't do that in Indy cars. But it certainly is fun to do in a sprint car.

44:14 Adam Hey Casey? Yeah. Thanks buddy. Yeah, good times.

44:19 Drew Bad Ronald.

44:20 Adam Oh, Bad Ronald. Well, somebody sent...

44:22 Drew Well, I was at the Barnes and Noble in Santa Monica and...

44:25 Adam Oh, you were...

44:25 Drew .did a nice job there and one of the enthusiastic attendants at the lecture there brought this up for you, Adam.

44:30 Adam Well, Bad Ronald is a TV movie of the week that was my favorite growing up. I must have saw it when I was nine or ten years old. They used to have movies of the week that were... they had the Devil's Triangle movies, they had a lot of dogs being possessed by the devil.

44:46 Drew Killdozer.

44:47 Adam They had farm equipment being possessed by the devil. Everything was possessed by the devil. The devil's got to get a new publicist because the devil was huge when we were growing up. And the devil's almost... I mean, the Devil's Triangle... people just go willy-nilly through the Devil's Triangle now, not thinking anything of it. Back when we were growing up, there's like... if you went through that section of Bermuda known as the Devil's Triangle... You weren't coming out. Yeah, you had a 20% chance of getting through it.

45:16 Drew It didn't matter what kind of vehicle you were in.

45:17 Adam A plane, a boat, doesn't matter. Compass starts spinning around, music gets weird, the next thing you know they never find you again. Somehow this all faded out, but Bad Ronald was one of the movies that I enjoyed back then. It was a TV movie, and it was a great story. Okay, now listen to this story. Ronald is a nerd. He is a classic nerd. Drew, do you have a picture of you in Junior High?

45:42 Drew As a matter of fact, I think I do.

45:43 Adam All right, if you could get that out. Do you really have a picture of you in Junior High?

45:47 Drew This is from the Carol calendar. We had to get pictures of ourselves when we were growing up.

45:50 Adam Oh my God. That is kind of weird. All right, Bad Ronald is like 12, no, he's maybe 13 years old, maybe 14. He's probably a sophomore in high school, like the ninth grader. Give me this picture. Hey, Drew, look at Drew over there. Oh my God. Yeah. How old were you there, Drew? 17, looking good. Nothing with the hair a little more whacked out, like I remember you when you were 13. All right, so Bad Ronald, he's living with a sickly mom. He's 14 years old. He's a nerd. He wears glasses. He likes this blonde hair chick, and he goes to a swimming party one day, and he shows up, and everyone's like, you're bad, Ronald, and they make fun of him, and they splash water at him, and he goes home all dejected, hanging his head, and while he's heading home, he runs into some little nine-year-old girl on a bicycle and knocks her down, and she gets up, and she's like, you're bad, Ronald. And everyone's telling Ronald how bad he is and what a nerd he is, and then she starts making fun of his sickly mother, and he says, don't say that about my mother, and she's like, why? She's weird, and he pushes her, and she hits her head on a rock, and back in the 70s, you could die from hitting your head on a rock. You did die. Only if they dutched the camera, meaning if they turned the camera sideways, That meant death. And saw your face looking off.

47:05 Drew In slow motion.

47:06 Adam Your head hit, and they turned the camera sideways, as your head hit, that meant you were dead. That's how you could die. They push you over, you die. So what's Ronald do? He buries her in a shallow grave. Not full size, not medium.

47:19 Drew Shallow.

47:20 Adam The shallow.

47:21 Drew He's 11.

47:22 Adam He's 14. And he runs home and he tells his mom, I killed somebody. And she says, we gotta hide your bad Ronald. Well, she calls him Ronald. I don't think she's a bad thing. So she makes a secret compartment for him inside the house, underneath the staircase. You know how the stairs work? The opening there? All right, we gotta take a break. But...

47:41 Drew In return, the climax.

47:43 Adam The thrilling conclusion to Bad Ronald after this.

48:02 Guest 877-889-DATE.

48:06 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:10 Adam XM Satellite Radio.

48:11 Caller This is LOVELINE on 94.7 NRK. Beyond AM. LOVELINE on 94.7 NRK.

48:19 Caller We'll be right back in a minute.

48:46 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dan Wheldon, Sarah Fisher, both here tonight. Both race car drivers gonna be down at the Fontana, which is the, is that California Speedway?

49:03 Drew I think so. So what happens to Bad Ronald?

49:04 Adam Oh, Bad Ronald. Yeah, well, listen, I gotta plug their gig. He did. 250 miles an hour, everybody.

49:10 Drew He's under the stairwell. His mother stuffs him under there.

49:13 Guest 10 every time he says it.

49:14 Adam Oh, Bad, yeah, Bad Ronald. 14, nerd, gets made fun of.

49:19 Drew Kills somebody.

49:20 Adam Got glasses, pushes a girl, dutched a camera, she's dead. Buries her in the...

49:26 Drew Shallow grave.

49:27 Adam Non-medium. Shallow grave.

49:29 Drew How do you know it's shallow? Does he say, hmm, I better dig a shallow grave?

49:32 Adam To bury her in a shallow grave. The shallow grave, it's like, it's like you hear about the master of disguises, but you don't hear about the guys. You're just sort of adequate with the disguises. And it's like international jewel thieves. You don't hear about the regional guys. Guys who work in the Glendale Burbank area. It's always international. Shallow grave, international master. All right. So buries her, goes home. Now tells his mom it was a mistake. She says, you know, no one's gonna believe. Gotta hide you. Gotta hide you under the staircase. If you think about old house and the way they're laid out, there's some room under that staircase. Cuts a hole in the wall. There's like a pantry door. You have to go in through the pantry in the kitchen, open a little hatch, slide in there. That's where Bad Ronald hides, okay? Bad Ronald hides underneath the staircases. Staircase, of course, the cops show up. They're looking for Bad Ronald. They wanna know where he is. The mom says Bad Ronald, she calls him Bad, I think. Took him on, he's out, he ran away. We don't know, I don't know where he is. So they leave and go look. Meanwhile, got a little secret knock and stuff, you know, to see when the coast is clear. She's feeding him, she's having him keep up with his studies and stuff, you know. She's looking after Bad Ronald, she's shopping. Of course, there's the nosy neighbor. I don't know what happened to nosy neighbors, but that was another very popular 70s thing.

50:53 Drew What was her name, Mrs. Kravitz?

50:54 Adam Mrs. Kravitz, across the street from Bewitch. But there was always some old woman watering next to your house, she was always poking her head in, sort of trying to get a look. So Bad Ronald's hiding there. Now, mom's sickly, so mom dies. Now Bad Ronald, she goes to the hospital and dies. No dad, no dad. This is what happens, by the way, you hear me? This is what's gonna happen to you guys who raise all your kids without a dad. So, he's under the stairs, the mom has gone to the hospital, the mom has died and now Bad Ronald living alone in the house. Aha, but the house sells. And it sells to Dabney Coleman, by the way, he's playing the dad, and his three hot blonde daughters that are all like age 13 to 16. Of course, Bad Ronald being 14, he's going insane in there now. So, he's living under the stairs, and you know, he sneaks out at night, and he steals a cupcake and sneaks back in, you know, and they're saying, I made those cupcakes for the school picnic, who ate those? You know, and everyone's arguing, Bad Ronald's looking through this little peep hole at everybody, and eventually starts going nuts. Now, he creates this whole delusional world where he's drawing murals and princesses, and he falls in love with one of the blonde girls, kidnaps her and takes her under the house.

52:12 Drew Wow.

52:13 Adam Yeah.

52:14 Drew Great story.

52:14 Adam And then it ends. It ends as every good 70s TV movie ends with him busting out of the front door and the cops converging on him in the stop frame. You know what I mean? They do that roll credits over the stop frame.

52:28 Drew Like the end of which cast in The Sundance Kid.

52:30 Adam Yeah. Roll credits. Yeah. And I don't know to me but here's the whole message of Bad Ronald which is, you know, if you're a nerd, if you're awkward, if people make fun of you, don't worry. One day you'll be arrested. That's really what's the message of Bad Ronald. He didn't do anything. He just got made fun of, killed some girl by mistake. Now he's going to prison. I recommend you guys all watch Bad Ronald. All right. It really gives some perspective.

52:54 Drew On life. Yeah. I learned something.

52:56 Adam Thank you. All right. Where are we? Matt?

52:59 Drew Yeah.

53:00 Adam You're 19.

53:00 Caller Yeah. That's me. How's it going, Adam? Good. Sweet. I got a question for Dr. Drew, actually. I'm actually from Salt Lake City, Utah, and I was raised very, very Mormon.

53:16 Drew Not just a little. Not a shallow grave.

53:19 Not a shallow.

53:20 Adam Very Mormon, yes.

53:25 Caller Basically, I've lost views on that. Some things I don't agree with.

53:29 Drew How come?

53:30 Caller Just there are certain things that just don't work in my head with me. Certain views of the church that I don't share.

53:36 Adam Why aren't you still into the Easter Bunny?

53:37 Drew Well, no, because in that community, that's forsaking your family, community. I mean, that's a big deal.

53:42 Adam But maybe you got two brain cells to rub together and you just buy them.

53:45 Caller It's a big deal here. So I don't know about it, but yeah.

53:49 Drew They don't know that you forsaken things.

53:50 Caller No. I haven't really forsaken. It's just kind of I don't believe everything that they do.

53:55 Drew Okay.

53:56 Caller But basically, the way it goes is I've actually got a girlfriend now who I've dated for often a long time and we're actually trying to have a sexual relationship right now and I find that I cannot orgasm and I've never heard of that before in my life.

54:12 Drew Are you on medication?

54:13 Caller No.

54:15 Drew You can't do it with her or you can't do it in your life ever?

54:19 Caller When I lost my virginity, the average time I've heard from all my friends is like five minutes. When I lost my virginity, it was an hour and a half.

54:27 Adam Oh, my God, how about that poor prostitute?

54:29 Drew How about if you're by yourself?

54:31 Caller I actually, it's about 45 minutes.

54:33 Drew By yourself?

54:34 Adam 45 minutes by yourself?

54:36 Caller I bet it's nuts.

54:38 Caller I got really strong arms, what can I say?

54:41 Caller Thank you.

54:42 Adam That is a commitment.

54:43 Caller Hey, I dry.

54:45 Adam Yeah, I just, I mean, I'd probably be down to three, four times a day at 45 minutes.

54:50 Drew Are you, everything else normally? Do you have any medical problems?

54:53 Caller I actually had bipolar, but I've pretty much worked through that and I'm not really, you know, I deal with it.

55:00 Adam You're not on any medications?

55:01 Caller No, nothing really worked for me. I have a really kind of a fragile brain chemistry, so it either made it worse or didn't work.

55:08 Adam Hmm, all right.

55:11 Drew I, you know, it makes me wonder, you have normal muscular development, normal hair distribution, that sort of thing?

55:17 Caller It's true. I play hockey, I'm in college, you know.

55:22 Drew You know, normal sort of, you seem like all the other guys, nothing different about you.

55:27 No. No vagina, large, large nipples, is that what you're saying?

55:31 Caller No, no, sorry. I gotta tell you something, Adam. I was listening to you guys yesterday and you said you liked the big boobs. I've never dated a girl below a size D and I love you, Brett.

55:40 Adam So that's all man, Drew. It's all man.

55:43 Caller You know, you can be proud in that.

55:44 Adam Yeah.

55:45 Drew Well, are you anxious, do you have a lot of anxiety when you're with these girls?

55:50 Adam She's got the same... She had the same girl for a while.

55:53 Drew I think it warrants a biological evaluation. Yeah. I do. And maybe your bipolarity was something related to a prolactin issue or thyroid. I mean...

56:00 Adam Because you're saying a guy...

56:02 Drew You don't end bipolar. You don't just suddenly outgrow a bipolarity, it just doesn't happen like that. So it suggests maybe they missed something back then and maybe this is now a sign of something else going on endocrinologically.

56:11 Adam Okay. So let's just shed some light on this. Everybody's got a different sort of timer to them. I mean there's a certain... Men and women and... Especially men. Especially men, but and all women. Yeah, I mean all... But this is for everything. Some people lose their hair at age 22. It's not because they're standing too close to a microwave oven. It's just that's them. Just like their eyes are brown and your eyes are blue, right? So certain amount of this stuff, especially with the orgasms, because people call the show every night, there's 19-year-old girls who have nothing but orgasms, there's 19-year-old girls who can have an orgasm, there's guys that go in three minutes, there's guys who go in three hours. A lot of... Within a range, a lot of that's just normal, right? But if it gets past a certain point and if it's 19-year-old Matt who plays on the hockey team and it's taken him 45 minutes when he's alone, we've crossed a certain point.

57:06 Drew It makes you wonder. It certainly warrants a look.

57:08 Adam And what are they looking for?

57:10 Drew I would check just an homo level to make sure it's producing an adequate amount of testosterone, there's no prolactin secreting tumors, thyroid's normal, these sorts of things.

57:19 Adam And there was a, I got the DVD of Bad Ronald and they had some deleted scenes. One of them was where they had to actually install a floor drain. He was beating off so much in his cubby hole.

57:29 Drew That's the Corolla cut.

57:31 Adam It never made the cut, of course. This was the 70s. These were different times.

57:35 Drew Good times.

57:36 Adam All right, imagine 14 living with the three chicks and spying on them through the thing. All right, where are we?

57:44 Drew Matt? Oh, where?

57:45 Adam Oh, you're going to five. Drew, your new hand signals didn't do nothing for me.

57:48 Drew Thank you.

57:49 Adam All right, let's talk to Ashley. Ashley? What's up?

57:55 Okay, I want to know if I've been wrecked or not.

57:59 Drew All right, what happened?

58:01 Okay, well, the guy was 19 and I was 14.

58:07 Drew If you had sex with him, you were raped. Yes.

58:15 Adam Well, I mean, there's different degrees of rape, perhaps. I mean, you know.

58:21 Drew I mean, the guy's a criminal no matter what, if you had sex with him.

58:25 Well, yeah, I know it's statutory rape, but I mean, I did not actually tell him no.

58:31 Drew That doesn't matter.

58:32 Adam But the reason statutory rape laws are in place is because at 14, you're not very good at telling people no. It's not your job to tell them no.

58:40 Drew It's even clearer. You're not able to say yes.

58:44 Adam Oh.

58:44 Drew The law is more about you're not in a position to render consent.

58:47 Adam Interesting. All right. Ashley?

58:50 Mm-hmm.

58:51 Adam Okay. So you're 16 now.

58:52 Caller Mm-hmm.

58:54 Adam And are you feeling like this has affected you?

59:04 Drew Yeah. So you were victimized before this.

59:06 Caller Yeah.

59:06 Adam This seems like more bad parenting. No, no, no.

59:09 Drew This is victim, victim, victim.

59:10 Adam Really?

59:11 Drew This is freeze. You can't...

59:14 Adam Low self-esteem will do that, too.

59:16 Drew It can. But you can't withstand other person's desires. They just consume you.

59:20 Adam You want to gamble? Yeah. I'm a little gambling. You guys got any money? You got a dollar on you?

59:26 You guys make a lot of money on that.

59:28 Drew That's 17 cents.

59:29 Adam Drew, are you kidding me?

59:30 Drew I don't have money. That's all I have with me.

59:32 Adam You're an adult male with doctor in front of your name and you walk around with 17 cents in your pocket?

59:37 Drew It's in my car. Ready to go to the car?

59:40 Guest I got some Jimmy Choo size eights.

59:41 Adam What do you have? Nothing? No? No dollars?

59:45 Guest Not on me, no. My bag's in the car.

59:47 Guest Mom's on its way.

59:50 Adam This is an outrage. Let's do some gentlemanly betting then.

59:54 Guest All right.

59:55 Adam You, I say Ashley wasn't abused. I say Ashley's, we're betting on Ashley's past, by the way. I'll put Ashley on hold so she doesn't screw up our betting here. I say neglectful father. Left the scene early. Indifference step dad or just neglect and indifference on the part of dad.

1:00:18 Drew Good bet.

1:00:18 Adam Dan, you have any thoughts about Sarah's past or Ashley's past? I'm sorry, Sarah.

1:00:23 Guest I reckon neglected by both.

1:00:26 Drew Mom and dad.

1:00:27 Adam Mom and dad.

1:00:28 Guest Yeah.

1:00:28 Adam All right. Sarah, what do you think?

1:00:31 Guest Oh, I think she's seeking attention from males.

1:00:36 Drew Why though? What happened in her childhood that had such an important effect on her?

1:00:40 Adam You can go with nothing, by the way, because that's a bet too.

1:00:43 Guest Yeah, just being ignored or...

1:00:47 Drew You guys are all going down the same path.

1:00:49 Adam No, we got two ignores. You got to go with a new one. You can go... I should go like uncle molested or neighbor or something like that. Good money. Well, sorry, brother. You're going last. Sarah, let's go with...

1:01:02 Caller We'll say grandpa.

1:01:03 Adam Grandpa.

1:01:05 Drew Nice.

1:01:06 Adam That's the way they do things over there. All right.

1:01:09 Drew No, this is either neglect or chaos in the family. One of those sort of abandoning family systems and then neighbor abused her.

1:01:15 Adam Neighbor?

1:01:15 Drew Sexual abuse.

1:01:17 First guy's fingers crossed.

1:01:19 Please.

1:01:20 Adam Ashley?

1:01:21 Yes.

1:01:22 Adam Let's talk about your past. What about your family?

1:01:27 My family? Well, okay. Right now, this happened all after I was 14, so... Well, my dad... I'm not talking to him. I haven't for a long time now.

1:01:39 Adam A long time. Why not?

1:01:41 Well, my parents are getting divorced right now. And he refuses to move out of the house. And he has never really been there for me.

1:01:50 Adam Never been there? What do you mean by that?

1:01:52 Like, he works from like four in the morning to like nine at night. Or he's gone. I don't know if he's working or not.

1:02:00 Adam All right. So he never made you feel wanted?

1:02:03 Drew It's neglectful again.

1:02:04 Adam It's neglectful. What about your mother?

1:02:06 She's always really been there for me, but lately her...

1:02:11 Adam Too bad. Dan's out. What about your grandpa? Has he been there?

1:02:16 No, I've never been molested. My family's been great for me.

1:02:21 Adam No neighbor, nothing?

1:02:23 No, no.

1:02:23 Drew So this is all an acting out.

1:02:25 Adam You see, I would have...

1:02:26 Guest You're good...

1:02:27 Adam .cheap sons of bitches would have brought nickel with you. I would be a rich man right now.

1:02:31 Drew You went for nothing?

1:02:33 Adam How dare you? I went for just basic neglect. That's how this argument started.

1:02:39 Drew Well, this really... It may not be neglect, but maybe for acting out the chaos in her family system now, that things started breaking down and then she...

1:02:46 Adam Man, see, her dad never was there, never paid attention. He lowered her self-esteem unless she has difficulty saying no.

1:02:52 Drew But I still can't believe there wasn't this freezing you do when...

1:02:56 Adam She's not freezing, she's a pleaser and then she's angry later about it.

1:03:03 Drew Why would you be such a good victim? Where have you been victimized in your life?

1:03:08 Adam Let her answer the question! She said, no, victimization is having a dad that doesn't know you're alive is victimization.

1:03:14 Drew You're right, you're right.

1:03:15 Adam How dare you?

1:03:16 Drew That kind of freeze response was so typical of her.

1:03:18 Adam Anything Ashley?

1:03:19 Yeah. My brother, awesome, he's a huge drug addict, I don't know, he's in coke, whatever, I don't know what he's doing.

1:03:29 Adam Did he ever molest you?

1:03:30 No, but his friend when I was drunk.

1:03:36 Adam Hold on, how old?

1:03:37 Did he live next door? No, he's a...

1:03:43 Adam His friend, how old was his friend at the time?

1:03:47 Seventeen.

1:03:49 Adam How old were you?

1:03:50 I was fourteen still.

1:03:55 Adam Just missed it. You were five? No, nothing at five?

1:04:02 No, no, nothing.

1:04:04 Adam Drew just threw his hat on the ground. Stomped on it. He's livid. All right, so Ashley. Chaotic family. Neglectful dad. Low self-esteem. Have trouble saying no. So here's the thing, first thing you can do is just say no from this point on, second thing about what happened a couple of years ago at the 19 year old, that was statutory rape at least.

1:04:28 Drew He's a criminal.

1:04:29 Adam He's a criminal and you're a victim. I don't know what you can do about it.

1:04:32 Drew What you have to be aware of is that you are a good victim and you do freeze and you have trouble saying no and you've got to keep yourself out of situations where you can be taken advantage of because you can't come to your own defense. You freeze. You understand? The guys you are attracted to are going to be these abusive a-holes or abandoning a-holes, one or the other.

1:04:49 Adam Or just opportunistic. I mean, let's face it. Guys are like coyotes. If they kill something, they've got to kill a cat and eat it, they'll kill a cat, but if something's dead, there's a dead squirrel or something, just go get it. Do you guys have coyotes in England? I'm going to bring some over there.

1:05:11 Drew We've got so many in our neighborhood.

1:05:13 Adam We've got to start killing them.

1:05:15 Drew I wonder...

1:05:15 Adam We've got to start shooting coyotes. Huh? You could be licensed. I could license you. I'd deputize you. Go ahead. I'll write you a note. We've got this weird... I've got a coyote list by my house. It's all diseased and weird. It's the bad Ronald of coyotes. It's all its fur is falling out. It has open wounds on it and stuff. It's kind of dazed. The animal control people have been trying to kill it or capture it or do whatever with it, destroy it. They don't like to use the word kill. They like to use the word destroy. To me, killers are a little easier. Kill sounds like lethal injection. Destroy is like putting an M80 up its ass or something. We shoot it with a bazooka. Destroy? Really? Thanks for the euphemism. Would you rather be killed or destroyed? Destroy sounds like parts of you are flying in different directions. Killed sounds like maybe someone put a pillow on your head while you're asleep or you drank too much or you choked on your own vomit or something. Destroy doesn't sound... Do better than destroyed. I'm going to have to destroy him. So this is a sick coyote. It's wandering around. It's all screwed up. It's always in front of my house because my nutty neighbors, the ones with the Star Trek room, there's a... Well, here's what it is. The animal control guy was like, somebody must be feeding this coyote in order to keep it alive. I'm doing the math with the neighbors, 28 cats in the Star Trek room. And I'm thinking, yeah. And it's always standing out in front of their house, which is in front of my house. Yeah, and it's so dazed and screwed up that it just like stands there, like to honk the horn and, you know, like shoe it. And I don't know what to do with it. Like stab it with a sprinkler key or like call somebody. You know, when you call somebody, the things come up two hours later, it's gone. Like, what do you do?

1:07:11 Drew Nothing.

1:07:11 Adam I start carrying a pistol. That's it. I'll put them down. I'll destroy them. What about just ramming it with a car? I've... You thought about it?

1:07:22 Guest Then it can be an accident.

1:07:23 Adam That's right. They'll never know. Drew, you got a lot of coyotes, really?

1:07:27 Drew So many.

1:07:28 Adam They ate your cat?

1:07:30 Drew We had a bobcat eat our cat.

1:07:32 Adam Really?

1:07:32 Drew You know about that?

1:07:33 Adam The comedian, Bobcat Goldfine?

1:07:34 Drew Bobcat did, yes.

1:07:35 Adam No, a bobcat actually ate your cat? Ate it or just screwed it up enough to die?

1:07:41 Drew Screwed up. Well, we had to break it up. We heard this shrieking and my wife ran out there. Then I heard her shrieking because the bobcat went after her.

1:07:48 Adam And then you found out it was going to be $2,600 to save the cat. And it's like, destroy it. Really? Right?

1:07:55 Drew Now, then I ran out in the yard with a kitchen knife and a broom. I had no idea what I was getting into.

1:08:00 Adam How much to save the cat's life?

1:08:02 Drew We spent a lot.

1:08:03 Adam And the cat died anyway? But there had to be one more thing at the end where it's like, come on.

1:08:09 Guest He's not telling the truth.

1:08:10 Adam There's something. I know it. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

1:08:14 Drew Yeah.

1:08:15 Adam As a doctor, there's no more helpless feeling. Is there to watch your cat die in your arms after being attacked by a bobcat? And know there's nothing you can do?

1:08:22 Drew It was bad.

1:08:24 Adam Sorry about that. Amy? At least it's better than you backing over the cat. You know, this is a good story.

1:08:31 Drew Bad things go. Yeah, it's better.

1:08:32 Adam Killed by a cougar. You know what I mean?

1:08:35 Drew Amy's, uh...

1:08:35 Adam Amy, you're 16?

1:08:36 Drew We could bet on her, too.

1:08:38 Adam Let's hear that voice. Do the alphabet in that sing-songy way, Amy. Ready? Go.

1:08:47 Drew Say the alphabet.

1:08:49 Caller A B C D E A B C D E F G I'm tone deaf, too.

1:08:55 Adam Alright, do it. But do it in a real sing-songy way. You know, like a little kid. See, this is a 16-year-old. Sounds like four. Were you abused?

1:09:10 Caller No.

1:09:11 Adam Nothing?

1:09:13 Caller Hmm.

1:09:14 Adam Are you small in stature?

1:09:18 Caller Oh.

1:09:19 Adam That clears things up. I can do that Asian thing. Let me ask you this, Drew. Hold on a second. You know, the Asians, God bless them. They got that subservient thing going with the girls. Which is almost like be a girl. Be a little girl. Stay a little girl. I mean, there's a little of that cultural, a lot of that cultural thing going on. So, we always think of Asian women as having those soft, young voices and they're a little bit smaller than other breeds. But that's not what it is. It's probably the more, the servitude kind of thing.

1:09:53 Drew The abuse.

1:09:54 Adam Is it abuse? Or is it just sort of a role?

1:09:58 Drew I don't know.

1:09:58 Adam I mean, she says she wasn't abused.

1:10:01 Drew Well, all these things, we observe these things in a socio-historical context. And maybe the same phenomenon would occur at a lesser level of abuse if the society encouraged it or something.

1:10:11 I don't know what that means.

1:10:13 Adam Amy? So anyway, you're never abused, but you're Asian, so you got that little voice. All right. So your question is, is you stopped sex with boyfriend because your vagina lips were swollen?

1:10:35 Drew How much time passed that you guys were doing this? How much time, how long were you guys doing this?

1:10:42 Caller We were having trouble getting it in.

1:10:51 Adam Never abused, Amy? No. When did you lose your virginity?

1:10:57 Caller Well, I've been going out with my boyfriend for about two years, and we were trying, we've tried to do it like three times, but it was too hard. And we did it for the first time about a month ago.

1:11:09 Adam How old's your boyfriend?

1:11:10 Caller He's 17.

1:11:12 Adam Your parents still together?

1:11:14 Caller My parents are divorced. I live with my mom and my stepdad.

1:11:18 Drew What's your stepdad like?

1:11:20 Caller Huh?

1:11:20 Adam Is your stepdad a good guy?

1:11:22 Caller Well, he's always raised me like he was a real dad. He's just not emotionally close. I don't know him about personal things.

1:11:32 Drew How is your real dad?

1:11:35 Caller He lives in another country and he got remarried. I met my half-brother Spring Break. He's nine months old.

1:11:45 Adam So, do you feel like your dad abandoned the family?

1:11:48 Caller Not really because I mean, I know why they divorced because they didn't get along well.

1:11:55 Drew Did you witness a lot of problems between them? Did you witness a lot of problems between them?

1:12:00 Caller No, I mean, I was nine and I don't remember anything really violent.

1:12:07 Adam Fine. Drew, 0 for 20 tonight, buddy. Yeah, Dr. Drew, everybody. Couldn't save his cat, can't fix the kids. What else, Drew? What else can't you do? I gotta go. Let's just mop up with Amy over here. She's getting some swelling, some irritation.

1:12:25 Drew She's got an isthmus, they can't enter and they got irritation. Are you seeing a doctor?

1:12:31 Caller No. Well, after it happened, I went on the internet to see if I could learn anything and they said it was a female version of Blue Balls.

1:12:39 Drew Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy.

1:12:41 Adam What do people do on the internet?

1:12:43 Drew Amy, if you're going to be sexually active, you have to get regular pelvic exams. It is time now. Okay?

1:12:51 Adam Alright. We got the only dumb Asian.

1:12:55 Caller We've done it one more time after that. I'm just trying to prevent it from happening again.

1:12:59 Adam Okay, you need to go to the gynecologist.

1:13:02 Drew You need to get a pelvic exam. You're sexually active, you need to get a pelvic exam.

1:13:05 Adam Do you understand?

1:13:08 Drew That's a possibility, but somebody needs to examine and look what's going on anatomically with you. I suspect it's... Amy, Amy, do not try to figure this out for yourself. You must get proper medical care. You don't know what you're doing, okay?

1:13:23 Adam Alright. And let me tell you something.

1:13:30 Drew Tell me.

1:13:31 Adam For an Asian, that was retarded. That was retarded, you understand? That would have been like... For a white chick, that was average intelligence. For an Asian girl, that's considered... That's retarded.

1:13:46 Drew How dare anybody consider you racist, Adam?

1:13:49 Adam I'm just saying the Asians are sharp breed.

1:13:51 Drew I'm just saying.

1:13:53 Adam That's what I'm saying.

1:13:54 Drew Alright.

1:13:54 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back.

1:13:59 If you need help, hang up and then die, die.

1:14:04 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:14:06 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:14:11 Caller The most trusted for over 80 years.

1:14:36 Adam The radio show that we're doing right now. Dan Wheldon and Sarah Fisher are both here. Dan is, let's see, 1999, US. Formula Ford 2000 champion, six victories. Born and raised in England, lives in Indianapolis. He describes himself as excessively neat and tidy. I like that. You're a good roommate material. You're on the road a lot. You're driving. You're tidy. That's what you want in a roommate. You want tidy and on the road. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's good. People, let me just tell, we got a lot of young people listening to the show that want to know what to do with their, you know, they're getting roommates, they're moving out. Number one quality, look, anyone you live with in a confined space that you cannot hump, you'll eventually want to kill. And even the people you're humping, eventually you're going to attempt to kill. But that buys you a little time, right? But when you're living in that one bedroom with your roommate and he's got the futon and you got the sofa or whatever, eventually you'll want to kill your roommate. Everybody learns to hate the roommates because when you take two people and put them on top of each other, this is what happens. Now, if one roommate loses the job in his home all the time, it goes from hate to I'm going to hire Drifter to kill this person and then I'll just burn the body and I'll collect the insurance. Like, you will, shallow to medium, grave. Yes, you will go insane. If I've had roommates lose jobs and now they're camped. They're camped. And when you leave for your job in the morning, they're there. And when you come home, they're there. And they don't have money to go anywhere. This is, oh, or, okay.

1:16:20 Drew Chris.

1:16:21 Adam No, no, this is a scary chick I lived with. The guys are always, oh, look. Here's the point. Find a roommate that's busy as hell. And that's the best room. You'll be glad the night you get to see them because they're gone so much. All right, thank you, Drew. And by the way, whoever sent us this copy of Bad Ronald, what name is that? Moss. Moss? The tape sucks. It's no good. You wasted our valuable time. It's completely, it's a worst copy of anything I've ever seen.

1:16:52 Drew You can't see anything.

1:16:53 Adam And I'm a guy who watches scrambled porn. So I have a very low threshold for that.

1:16:58 Drew Grew up watching scrambled porn.

1:17:00 Adam I was reared on scrambled porn. Jason?

1:17:08 Yes, how's it going?

1:17:10 Adam Good, you're 25, what's up?

1:17:12 Caller First of all, that whole roommate thing, thank God my roommate just got a job because he spent probably about nine months on the computer, on the couch in front of the TV. So I hear ya and I was about two days away from hiring that drifter.

1:17:25 Adam You want to kill them, they're never gone. And here's the best part, they're depressed. You come home at four in the afternoon, they're still in their house coat, and money's a huge issue because they don't have a job, so it's nickel and dime, it's like, I'm looking at the phone bill and I never called. So not only are they grating on you, but they're nickel and diming you to death.

1:17:49 Caller Or they're four months behind on their rent. So it sucks, I hear you. My question.

1:17:55 Drew Hang on a second, Jason, I want to hear this.

1:17:57 Adam Scary chick, well, a scary chick had a scary cat named Cicely, just as mean as she was. And she's a nice person now, everything's fine.

1:18:07 Drew Oh, you have a relationship with her?

1:18:08 Adam No, I've seen her once in a while, I'm sorry. She was going through a tough time. I moved out to move in with Ralph, who was in here last night. That's why I got the hell out of there.

1:18:15 Drew I'm sure she told the story about the scary dude she was living with.

1:18:20 Adam Rick?

1:18:20 Drew No, no, no.

1:18:21 Adam Oh, and not Rick, we're talking to what, Jason? Jason?

1:18:24 Caller Yes, I'm back.

1:18:26 Adam All right, sorry. Sorry for Drew. So anyway.

1:18:28 Caller Question, Drew. Past three years, stopped wearing underwear. What kind of damage or what kind of problems could I possibly face free balling?

1:18:40 Adam None.

1:18:41 Drew I can't think of anything.

1:18:42 Adam Upholstery. I can think of upholstery related problem.

1:18:46 Drew What are you thinking?

1:18:48 Caller Well, I've heard rumors that there's, you can get testicle cancer, abnormalities. I don't know, is there anything?

1:18:57 Drew Therefore, man in nature would have all had testicular cancer.

1:19:01 Adam I've been wearing underpants for billions of years.

1:19:03 Drew The species should have died out at its inception. No, Jason, relax. You're fine. I'm more worried about skin things and from the rubbing of the chaffing, you get hyperkeratosis pilaris.

1:19:15 Adam Well, what about support, Drew?

1:19:18 Drew Yeah, you'll head towards, gravity will take its toll, but you know, good time.

1:19:22 Caller Okay, meaning the ball sack will lengthen or?

1:19:27 Drew Adam, would you like to speak to this, given you know something about this?

1:19:31 Adam Well, a little asymmetry will occur.

1:19:34 Drew Can, can.

1:19:35 Adam One side will go a little lower than the other.

1:19:36 Drew But how about as it makes its way to the floor?

1:19:40 Adam It will start heading that way. Everything goes that way.

1:19:43 Caller Right, gravity, I guess, you know.

1:19:45 Adam That's right. That's right, Jason. All right. Your roommate's got a job now, right?

1:19:51 Caller My roommate's got a job and he's gone just about as much as I am, so it's a good thing.

1:19:57 Adam Fantastic.

1:19:58 Drew What are you doing?

1:19:59 Oh, I'm just watching his balls get closer to the ground.

1:20:04 Adam Jason?

1:20:05 Drew What?

1:20:05 Adam What are you doing?

1:20:07 Caller What am I doing? I actually just got home from the bar and I'm about ready to go to bed.

1:20:11 Drew No, you said you're gone all the time. What do you do?

1:20:14 Caller Oh, what do I do? I'm a teacher and I wait tables.

1:20:19 Adam That's what you want. That's the roommate you want, two jobs. And the waiting table part, cash. Always can spot you 20 bucks because they walk out with the 120 bucks where the tips, yeah. Bringing stuff home in the styrofoam container.

1:20:36 Guest Don't you always want a female roommate?

1:20:38 Adam Female roommates can be good. They can get a little weird sometimes. Oftentimes they end up, if you have a female roommate who you don't like, I mean, you're not attracted to. There's a decent chance she's into you a little bit. And then they start getting weird because like you bring home a date or something and the next day they got that puss on in the kitchen.

1:21:00 Drew They'll be very protective of you and they'll be sort of shunning whoever you bring around.

1:21:03 Adam Yeah, it's tough.

1:21:06 Drew Very primitive.

1:21:07 Adam Yeah, it's good. Females better. But then it's kind of weird because you become the man of the house. Like somebody breaks in, you got to kind of take the lead or her car battery dies. You got to get the jumper cable. It's kind of nice to have that guy who's Mr. Fix-It who can handle himself, you know, so he gives you a little butt rape every once in a while. Every once in a while. Small price to pay for the battery jump and the lawn. All right, that's horrible.

1:21:34 Drew Yes, it was.

1:21:34 Caller It was.

1:21:35 Adam Barely happened.

1:21:36 Guest Rick?

1:21:38 Adam Ralph, barely happened with Ralph. You're 20.

1:21:44 Drew If you say so.

1:21:45 Guest All right.

1:21:46 Hello?

1:21:48 Adam Yes, Rick.

1:21:49 Drew Bogus. Bogus.

1:21:52 Adam Yeah, we don't believe you.

1:21:54 This is what I've been saying to myself.

1:21:56 Adam Yeah, now it's really bogus.

1:21:57 Drew You just feel it in your chest as soon as they start talking.

1:22:01 I mean, bogus, you haven't even heard my question yet.

1:22:04 Adam Yeah, I know it's bogus. You're not connected to your question at all. All right, go ahead, ask your question.

1:22:11 All right, as dirty as it is out there, as it sounds, I am the biggest analogous freak. I mean, I love the butthole. I mean, strictly female only. I mean, you know, I ain't going there with no men or nothing like that. But I mean, as far as I can get my nose and tongue in it, you know, I'm a happy camper. And I just want to know, like, the percussion, the consequences of that. Because I know, you know, it's like the dirtiest place of the body. And it's something I enjoy. What's that?

1:22:40 Adam Well, how often do you do this, Rick?

1:22:45 Every chance I get, man. Every chance I get. Every girl I'm with, I either try to talk her into it or flip her the surprise. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. And it's kind of an obsession.

1:22:58 Drew You know, there's all kinds of lovely infectious diseases you can get that way. It's really one of the most historically important routes of contamination of the oral fecal root.

1:23:07 Adam Think about the gals Rick is going with, too.

1:23:10 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:23:11 Adam I mean, do you know what I mean? Oh, come on now. You know when you go to the supermarket and they have that discount section of rotted fruits and vegetables. So it's in the corner. I used to shop at that when I had the roommates. Like, this persimmon's still good.

1:23:28 Drew Is that a persimmon? That's an apple.

1:23:30 Adam Oh, okay, that's a bad apple. Going through like corn that's sort of half brown and stuff like that. I picture, we're corn and brown in the same analogy, but I'm picturing Rick sort of doing that. And that's the kind of thing you don't want to be getting your tongue into. Yes, Drew? Drew, what can happen? What disease? Is it hepatitis?

1:23:49 Drew Yeah, you get hepatitis that way. You can get, you know, shigella and salmonella.

1:23:53 Adam Shigella.

1:23:54 Drew And, you know, amoeba. I mean, there's all kinds of things you can get. And unfortunately, a bunch of elastogen viruses.

1:24:02 Adam All right.

1:24:02 Rick.

1:24:03 Drew HIV.

1:24:04 Adam You there, fellas? Yeah, the oral fecal route is not a good one.

1:24:09 Well, I mean, I'm not going for the, you know, the grimy hoes. I'm looking for, you know, the good, clean girls. I'm not, you know, I'll take a look at it before I stick my tongue in it. I mean.

1:24:22 Adam All right, well, as long as you're examining it.

1:24:24 I'm trying to make sure it's clean. Yeah, I mean, I may be from Detroit, but there is some good looking girls out here and I'm going after the clean ones and.

1:24:31 Adam All right, right.

1:24:32 Doing the examination.

1:24:33 Adam All right, we're done with you.

1:24:35 Can I give a shout out to Ice?

1:24:36 Adam No, you can give no shout outs, listen. See, this is the non-question. Guys that are into doing this, and there's a handful of them out there, they're just into it.

1:24:44 They don't have to announce it.

1:24:46 Adam Let's say you know the bogus question, which is. It's an announcement that's couched in the form of a question.

1:24:54 Drew In reality, there's no question.

1:24:56 Adam No question. And then usually the shout out at the end. All right. We're gonna take ourselves a little bit of a break. Talking racing tonight. Big Toyota 400 going on this weekend out at the California Speedway. Race is going on on Sunday. Qualifying on Saturday. And practice, which is open to everybody, right? Free? Get in there, watch the practice sessions.

1:25:20 Guest Yeah, I believe so.

1:25:22 Adam That's Friday. Take a quick break. We'll be right back. Never gets old. Never gets old for Drew. For everyone else who got old like 1500 times ago. Dan Wheldon and Sarah Fisher both here tonight.

1:26:18 Drew Somebody had me sign books tonight as my kisser.

1:26:20 Adam Oh, really? They're both members of the IRL. That's right, Indie Racing League. Got a big race coming up at the California Speedway, which is a relatively new facility. It's seven years ago. What the hell did they build it? Maybe it's, you guys know how old that place is? It's kind of new.

1:26:44 Drew Was it the Ontario Speedway first? They rebuilt it?

1:26:48 Adam They got rid of some and made some, but I think California Speedway is new, although you couldn't tell by the burnt orange color scheme they decided to go with. That was a smart move. Great. Make everyone think it was built in 1974.

1:27:01 Guest If it's in the area though, where it's at.

1:27:03 Adam Yeah. It's just a bunch of burnt people and burnt garage.

1:27:06 Drew Excellent point. Fontana.

1:27:09 Adam Burnt orange and red. All right. But good times. Got a big race, Toyota 400, going on this week. Friday is qualifying. Saturday is practice and running in groups. And that's, Dan says to check that out. And then Sunday, of course, the big race. Let's take a question for our guests.

1:27:26 Drew Then that's two then, two.

1:27:28 Adam All right. Dustin? 23, what's your question?

1:27:33 My question is, I'm a pilot and I find that when I fly, when I land, I get on the freeway to drive. And I'm driving pretty fast, but I don't realize it until I look over and there's a cop going about 53. And I look down and I'm doing about 90.

1:27:49 Adam What, and what do you, what do you fly?

1:27:52 Caller I just fly Cessna small planes. But I usually go about 140, somewhere in there.

1:27:58 Adam In the plane, yeah. Yeah. So what's it like? Does it feel, I mean, if you're going 240 all day and then you climb in your car and you're going 70, does it feel like you're crawling? Now I'm asking the guests, but I mean.

1:28:10 Drew They're shaking their head.

1:28:11 Adam They're shaking their head, yeah.

1:28:13 Guest I know the one thing that I like about being on the road is obviously you can relax.

1:28:17 Adam Right.

1:28:18 Guest You don't have the, you're not having to eke out every last thousandth.

1:28:24 Adam Right.

1:28:24 Guest So I tend to just chill out on the road and take it easy and let all the other guys do the crazy stuff.

1:28:29 Adam Yeah, Sarah doesn't do that though, do you, baby, do you?

1:28:32 Guest No, not really. I get in a car and I just instinctively.

1:28:37 Adam You want to go?

1:28:39 Guest I just don't pay attention.

1:28:40 Adam That's right, Dan. She's a winner. That's called it. That's the eye to the champion. That's the eye of the tiger. You go. I don't care if you're pushing a shopping cart, Drew, or out on the IRL. You go. All right? That's a champion.

1:28:54 Drew Yes, sir, Mr. Corolla.

1:28:54 Adam You understand? So this comes up all the time with race car drivers. We've had a lot of them on this show over the years and I find out that either they drive like turbo Porsches because they're, you know, it's obvious they like the speed and the thrill or they could care, they couldn't care less and they're driving like just some sort of suburban wagon thing with the kids. Like they just, they want, they don't want to experience that anymore. Drew, what about you? Do you like talking to microphones when you're not doing it on air? Do you find yourself like, like when you're in a supermarket, do you lean over and grab the intercom and start shouting? You have to broadcast, right? That's what you do?

1:29:31 Drew Yes. Or at least pretend I don't click the mic out when I'm talking to the cashier. I just talk into it.

1:29:36 Adam I see. I see.

1:29:37 Drew Oh, I can actually produce speech.

1:29:40 Adam Yeah. I'm going to need some chicklets. Were you molested?

1:29:43 Drew You were.

1:29:45 Guest I was going to say exactly that. Does he ask of this stuff?

1:29:49 Adam Johnny?

1:29:50 Yeah.

1:29:51 Adam You're 21? What's up?

1:29:55 Caller No. You know, I'm gay and I want to find out, you know, because I want to have a kid and at work I constantly flirt with girls and I was wondering if it would be a problem, you know, having a kid and then being with a girl.

1:30:12 Drew Hold on now. Have you ever had a boyfriend or do you have one now? Yes, I do.

1:30:16 Adam You have a boyfriend. And by the way, gay, good move for Johnny because he could never pick up chicks. Why? She's sketchy. She freaks chicks out. They don't like that. Right, sir?

1:30:28 Drew Listen, I was at a dinner where there was about three of my wife's friends there. Hold on a second. And they were talking to one of the woman's daughter and she was talking about this guy she used to date and the mom goes, well, she just really wasn't in for it. And then she leans over and goes, he used to call all the time and told her how much she loved him and how great she was and he called all the time. Every woman at the table.

1:30:48 Adam Yeah.

1:30:49 Drew They went, ugh.

1:30:52 Adam I know, because women spend their entire life wanting guys to, or telling guys why they're not praising them enough. But the second the praise starts coming, it's like, what's wrong with you? So that's why as a guy, you're like a doctor, you have to sort of deal it out, but in small doses. You know, it's like you give them a little, give them a little medication, but not too much. You give them a whole pile, the OD on it. Sure. That's why I tell my old lady, Drew.

1:31:17 Drew You give her nothing, though.

1:31:18 Adam Yeah, I could shower you with attention, but I don't want you to dump me. Johnny?

1:31:25 Caller Yes.

1:31:26 Drew Alright, so what does your boyfriend feel about this?

1:31:29 Caller Huh?

1:31:30 Drew How does your boyfriend feel about you having a kid?

1:31:32 Caller Well, he actually doesn't really know that I will, you know, want to have a kid.

1:31:36 Adam Okay, well.

1:31:36 Drew First of all, you're 21. What are you thinking about?

1:31:38 Adam You give it another 10 years and then you could adopt or do whatever.

1:31:41 Drew Or you had to sign with your boyfriend.

1:31:42 Adam Couldn't you adopt?

1:31:45 Caller Yeah, I could, but, you know, I want to have a kid of my own, you know, my own.

1:31:48 Drew Will you find a surrogate or something? You know, we've had friends that have done that.

1:31:52 Adam And by the way, who's we?

1:31:55 Drew You and I.

1:31:55 Adam I don't have any friends that have done that. Yes, we do. That's right. Yeah. Yes, baby. That's right. I forgot about that. Yeah, I guess you can do that. I don't know what the details of that were. I thought they were adopted or something. We know gay couples. We only know one of the gay couples.

1:32:14 Drew Some of them mix the sperm and the implant.

1:32:17 Adam You know, the beauty of me is, I, you know.

1:32:20 Drew You start saying the alphabet.

1:32:21 Adam Some gay couples start saying, we got a new kid. That's great. That's great. That's great. You guys are great. Whatever you do, it's great. It's great. Yeah, you know how we did. Ah! Yeah, we took our sperm. We put it in a paint can shaker. We both beat off.

1:32:35 Caller Ah!

1:32:43 Adam You're a grand old flag. I just put my hand. I do grand old flag with my fingers in my ears. I just start doing grand old flag.

1:32:49 Drew Listen, you would...

1:32:50 Adam It can be done.

1:32:51 Drew Listen, if you were to live out your ultimate life as a gay man, what you would... Oh, you and Jimmy, come on, think about that.

1:32:57 Adam Yeah, maybe me and Dan.

1:32:58 Drew You and Dan even.

1:32:59 Adam Race car.

1:33:00 Drew You mix your sperm together.

1:33:01 Adam Cars. Come on, buddy. That's cool.

1:33:04 Drew You could be the handy guy around the house.

1:33:06 Adam I'm fixing a car. Dan's coming in. You run a little lean, buddy. Gonna rich it up just a little bit. Go. And I want you to wear the scarf for good luck. I'm just getting drunk in the trailer at the hospitality tent. Dan comes back.

1:33:24 Drew I think a lot of money you guys would have, too.

1:33:26 Adam We have money. I'm doing the radio. You're on the road. We got a nice palace.

1:33:30 Guest But you'd have to hang out with all the driver's wives, though.

1:33:33 Adam There's a lot of hot tail in there, a lot of hot tail in there. I'd learn to get along with the driver's wives, start spreading rumors.

1:33:43 Guest Don't encourage him.

1:33:44 Don't encourage him.

1:33:48 Adam I'd be like, Dan, not a big boy, but a big boy, a big boy, you know, spread the news, spread it around. Start sharing all sorts of crazy rumors and stuff.

1:33:56 Drew Dan would get jealous of Sarah's boyfriend.

1:33:58 Adam Yeah.

1:33:58 Drew And he'd be like hanging out with you.

1:34:01 Adam Dan, you could do a lot worse. You could do a lot worse, a lot worse. Come on, take me home to meet your parents in Hounslow.

1:34:10 Guest $3,000. It's only $3,000.

1:34:12 Adam $3,000, $3,000. No, $2,500, buddy. It ain't happening. Come on, got the M3. It ain't happening. I'll tell you what, just think about it. And it's a lot of bravado on the air. I think once the mics cool off, Dan will have second thoughts. You saw it in his eyes. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:34:35 Caller Here's the deal. Call the Dateline. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:34:39 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:40 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline. 1-877-889. Date.

1:34:47 Caller You know what I'm saying now, Dan?

1:34:49 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

1:34:54 Caller Loine on 947NRK is brought to you by Car Toys.

1:35:22 Adam Well, that's the show, everybody. I want to thank Dan and Sarah for coming in here from the RRL and tell you that you can find them out in Fontana at the Speedway this weekend. 240 miles an hour. Drew, who are we talking to?

1:35:38 Drew I'm just looking at a guy who had a broken penis, perhaps, and that can happen. You can tear the corpus cavernosus and he should be seen by urologists if he did that.

1:35:44 Adam All right.

1:35:45 Drew All kinds of problems if it's not repaired.

1:35:46 Adam 240 miles an hour. You could really break your penis at that speed.

1:35:50 Drew As you could.

1:35:51 Adam Gotta wear cups there. So that's going on. Toyota 400. Go out and see that this weekend. Do not miss Saturday. That's all. And all the action takes place during the qualif, not the qualifying, but the practice warmup. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:08 Caller I am the biggest analegus freak. I mean, I love the butthole. I mean, strictly female only. I mean, I'm, you know, I ain't going there with no men or nothing like that. But I mean, as far as I can get my nose and tongue in it, you know, I'm a happy camper.

1:36:26 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, September 16, 2003