0:16🔗
1-800-L.O.V.E. 1-9-1. Love Line starts now.
0:22🔗
Voiceover
Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew, and I'm pleased to welcome him in the studio tonight. Jason Mewes, you know him as J from J and Silent Bob. Hello. Do you actually go by J or should we say Jason?
0:47🔗
Jason Mewes
Yeah, yeah. So we just, the DVD just came out. Me and Kevin were on three, well, he was on three episodes and I was on two. And we just went back and did two more episodes.
0:59🔗
Drew
Let me sort of set this up for everybody. Kevin Smith, Silent Bob directs and produces a lot of these films.
1:21🔗
Jason Mewes
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just was, you know, we just got done. He's editing right now. Clerks 2.
1:33🔗
Drew
Again, so both Jason and Kevin were in Clerks, which is classic, right? Everyone has seen that, hopefully. And then Clerks 2 coming out in the summer. Is that happy with that one?
2:03🔗
Jason Mewes
I did. What were you doing then? That's how we met because, well, we have a viewer skew board. We have our own website.
2:12🔗
Jason Mewes
And he used to go on there and we did a signing in New York and we used to chat on the board. And he made...
2:18🔗
Dirty talk, it's dirty talk.
2:21🔗
Dirty, dirty, dirty, it's dirty talk, hey.
2:26🔗
Jason Mewes
He used to do mixtapes. So anyway, we were talking about it online and he met me at this mall rat signing.
2:42🔗
Jason Mewes
And he brought me a tape at the signing and I was like, how old are you? And he was like, I think he was 21 at the time, or 22. And I was like, let's go to the bar. Because we were done with our signing, me and him hung out all night and got drunk. Oh, how funny. It was fun. It was fun. And we hung out. We've been hanging out ever since. And he moved out here and Kevin had moved out here.
3:02🔗
Drew
But he was an IT guy. To everyone else, he wasn't. He was just a sort of IT guy. He was just at a company, operating, functioning, fixing servers and things.
3:20🔗
Jason Mewes
No, I didn't follow him out here. But I'm saying, like a lot of my friends moved out here. Like four of my friends moved out here. And only one I have back in Jersey is my sister. So I was like, so I decided to make the move out here finally. Plus the weather's nice.
3:34🔗
Drew
And when you first made the films with Kevin, you were still living in Jersey. And you knew each other from back there?
3:45🔗
Jason Mewes
I don't know. I didn't really hang out with him as much in high school because he's four years older than I am. So I was like freshman. He was senior.
3:56🔗
Jason Mewes
So there's a community center in our town, Highlands, and he used to work there and I used to go there and play hockey all the time and stuff. He liked comics and I like comics. So we started talking about comics and comic books. And we started going to comic book shows in New York together and stuff.
4:15🔗
Jason Mewes
I do. I haven't got any in a while. I'll have to catch up. We have a comic book store in Red Bank called Jan-Saint-Bob-Secrets-Thash.
4:32🔗
Drew
Check it out. We figured we could get something to plug tonight anyway. And are you single now? You involved with somebody? What's happening in your love life?
4:45🔗
Jason Mewes
It is new. I haven't dated anyone in, I think, like four or five years. Like, committed relationship.
4:52🔗
Jason Mewes
Just a little fooling around, you know. I was trying to find, there's always something, hanging out with someone that, you know, it's okay, but.
5:07🔗
Drew
Let's see if you can help some of our callers out, all right? You ready? All right, here we go. This is Roman, 19. Roman?
5:13🔗
Hey, Dr. Drew. I'm a big fan.
5:16🔗
Um, I'm having problems staying excited with monogamy, I guess. Like, I'm dating this girl right now. We've been dating for six months. And I'm always thinking about getting, um, oral from other girls.
5:33🔗
And I've acted on this before in the past. Like, I've cheated on a bunch of girlfriends in the past. And I'm really trying to not mess this one up.
5:43🔗
So.
5:44🔗
Drew
Now, are you, are you telling me you can't control your impulses? Or are you telling me, jeez, I'm not ready for a relationship, maybe. And I'm just a screw up. I'm 19. I can't quite manage this yet. Which is it? Because they're very different issues. If you can't contain your impulses, that's a more serious thing.
6:01🔗
I can, like, I can. I'm just having trouble staying excited with just one girl, I guess.
6:09🔗
Drew
Well, this, if you add up that whole score here, Jay, what do you think about this? 19. You have trouble getting an erection with her?
6:19🔗
Jason Mewes
Well, not too young, but I'm saying, you know, explore a little bit more, I would think.
6:24🔗
Jason Mewes
If you can't control, I would say don't settle down yet. That's why I was just saying I haven't dated in four years until recently.
6:31🔗
Jason Mewes
Well, just because I wanted to wait until I found someone that I know that if some attractive girl wants to go down on me, I'm going to be able to say no because I care about this other girl.
6:45🔗
Jason Mewes
Why not just keep her, ask, tell her you just want to hang out with her and hang out with other girls? Just be honest with her, tell her to deal.
6:51🔗
Drew
Or, there's a little bit of a different, but that's, I'm with you on that, absolutely, but there's another possibility. If you sort of add up your score here, Roman, you can't maintain a relationship, starting to lose your sexual interest very quickly, all that kind of adds up to difficulty with closeness, difficulty with intimacy.
7:09🔗
That sounds right. Like, I even called a girl one time and tried to get oral from her, and it just didn't work out, which I mean, I'm kind of happy about that now, but I can't even believe I called her in the first place, you know?
7:30🔗
Actually, I think she is.
7:32🔗
She wanted me to call in about this.
7:36🔗
She knows I called this other girl and that it didn't work out. Like, we've been having this big trust issue.
7:46🔗
Yeah, I'm addicted to marijuana, if you could say that.
7:52🔗
Jason, can you be addicted to marijuana?
7:59🔗
Drew
Yeah, if not addicted, you can go ahead and stop and stay and stop. The problem is, very few people can do that. It's actually one of the most serious addictions we're dealing with right now. It's probably pretty much 50% of admissions for chemical dependency involve POT right now. If not, POT is the primary drug. When people stop POT, they miss it sometimes the most of any of the other drugs. The cravings, the drive, the preoccupation with it, it is profound. So I run a program. I deal with it every day, every day, and it's one of the more serious ones we're dealing with right now. If you're still using it, go ahead and stop and see what it feels like.
8:38🔗
Jason Mewes
No, I have stopped. I have three years right now. So, but I'm not off of that. I've done it all. So it wasn't the toughest for me. It was the easiest for me. Well, that's me personally.
8:47🔗
Drew
No, no, here's how POT works. Is it, it's the first drug you find and you love it. Yeah. You love it. It's the greatest thing ever. When you found something you love more than anything else, what do you do? You do that every day. And it works and it feels great. Somewhere between one and 30 years, and it's different for every individual, that I love it feeling starts to wear off. And you start getting depressed and irritable. You experience it as, this doesn't work anymore. I need to smoke more. You start smoking more. And suddenly you're not feeling good. You can't do things. You're irritable. And that's when you switch over to something else. And those other things can become more difficult to stop because the pot you leave behind. But if I catch you, just as you switch to amphetamine, let's say, the one you'll miss, not the amphetamine, you'll miss the pot because that's a much better feeling. Even though speed corrects the depression of the marijuana. But if you go on to opiates and you get strong on opiates for three years, that's the one. Because it affects the same part of the brain as the pot. This anterior cingulate. And so the vicon, the oxycontin, the heroin, whatever, that becomes a much more powerful drive at that point. But most people graduate to speed and they don't miss the speed, they miss the pot. That's sort of how that goes. So, Roman, you're in the beginning of all these issues. Is your dad an alcoholic or something, or your mom?
10:03🔗
Drew
Nah, that doesn't count. Well, maybe you're not marijuana addicted, maybe you're just compulsive, maybe you're just, you're gonna put this all down and it's gonna be part of your sort of adolescent enthusiasm and exuberance. But I'm really concerned about how you're containing, how you're managing relationships. It suggests trouble in the future. And if your girlfriend's listening, Roman's girlfriend, be prepared to jump ship. He can either tolerate closeness or he can't, and whether he's ready for it or because he's got a long-term problem, either case, it's not good for you. Emily, 17. Can we get high?
10:35🔗
Caller
I'm so happy to be here. And like, I can't believe I'm here. And I'm working on a good project right now. People don't believe me.
10:46🔗
Caller
Sorry, I had to turn speakerphone off. Okay, so I'm really hoping you can answer this question because no one will tell me why.
11:03🔗
Caller
No, no, I totally have. It's like the two guys who work in one at the video store and one to the drug store.
11:18🔗
Caller
Like, okay, so yesterday I came into my friend's room and he just got out of the shower and he had one red foot and like it was like, like when it's really steamy and your skin kind of turns red, I was like, Kenya, why do you have a red foot? And Q was like, oh, um, like doesn't it happen to you? And I was like, no. And he's like, oh, I guess it only happens to guy. And then Yoshi walked in the room and they're like, Yoshi, don't you get a red foot? He's like, yeah, it's my left foot. And they're like, oh, I guess it's cause you're left handed. And I was like, okay. And it was really weird. And then I asked another friend and I was like, why do you boys get red feet? And he's like really explicit. So he would tell me and he is like, oh, I'm not going to tell you. It's kind of personal. And I like harassed him for a long time and he wouldn't tell me. And then I asked like another guy, like online without telling him that I was me and like pretending that I was like one of his friends. And I was like, why do you guys get one?
12:17🔗
Caller
My mommy and daddy let me go to first grade when I was still in kindergarten cause I knew how to read.
12:40🔗
Drew
Me neither, Emily. So, it seems like your buddies there in the dorm were sort of ganging up on the youngin.
12:47🔗
Caller
No, I don't think so because I asked like a bunch of random guys and they like didn't know either. Or like no, not that they didn't know. Sorry, I can't think because I'm really nervous. But I asked some other random guys and they started laughing and they were like, I'm not telling you what it is. They're like really good friends who like don't talk to each other either. Or good friends of me that don't talk to each other.
13:04🔗
Drew
I think people are ganging up on you. I really do. I don't know what, I'm trying to figure out what the two red feet were that you actually saw.
13:11🔗
Caller
Wait, so if I find out, if my friend said that if you didn't tell me, that he would tell me. So if I find out, can I call back and let you know?
13:17🔗
Drew
Why don't you put us on hold? And I'll come back in about ten minutes and you find out what they're up to, okay?
13:28🔗
Okay, hi.
13:30🔗
Caller
My thing is, okay, I work with a bunch of guys that are a lot older than me. I'm like, you know, I'm only seventeen. And this one guy, he's really, really hot, like, I'm not kidding. And we flirt a lot and he's married.
14:18🔗
Caller
Anyways, he's twenty five and he's married. And I don't know, we got to talk in one night and we just I don't know, it just kind of got out of hand. And then he called me on the company phone and he pretty much just openly offered to have sex with me.
14:41🔗
Drew
Shocking. Can you imagine that? A young twenty five year old asking an eighteen year old to have sex with him? That is shocking. Jay, what should she do?
14:56🔗
Jason Mewes
What about when you're married one day? Would you want your husband to have sex with someone else?
15:04🔗
No, not at all.
15:08🔗
Jason Mewes
Karma. It's bad karma if you sleep with him. You get married one day, it'll happen to you. That's what I believe.
15:20🔗
Jason Mewes
No, you know, she's like, no, that ain't the answer I wanted. I wanted to tell him to have great sex with him.
16:10🔗
Drew
All right, Rachel. Well, we can repeat the same thing 30 times here. You're going to do what you're going to do. For God's sakes, use birth control, whatever you do, and wear a condom. God only knows who else this guy's pulled this crap with. Amanda 19.
16:32🔗
I have a question about my husband and I's sexual relationships. We live at his parents' house, and we have two kids, been married for one, together for four. I don't really like the fact of having intimate relationships at his mom's house.
16:54🔗
Oh, no. No.
16:55🔗
Drew
Have you seen that commercial where the mom's in there going through the drawers, setting up their socks, and goes, Honey, there's an adult man in bed, and she's talking to him as though he's like a young teenager. Then all of a sudden this woman sits up and he goes, Oh, hi, honey. She goes, We got to get our own house. It's ridiculous. This is why you don't get married. You're 19, by the way. So what does he do for a living?
17:22🔗
Drew
Right now? Always a bad way to start. A description of what someone's doing for an employee. Well, right now, you're not going to say he's an astronaut, airline pilot, neurosurgeon. Right now, he's working at Arby's, or right now, he has no work.
17:45🔗
Drew
Yeah, I'm sure he lost his job. As a matter of fact, why is he not working? But what's the reason that prevents him from going forward with further work?
18:19🔗
Drew
He's find a way. He's got to support a family. What's the real reason? Does he just sit around smoking pot? Is he just lazy generally? Is he drinking all the time? What's he doing?
18:30🔗
Caller
He's always on the internet looking for jobs and posting his resume and everything, but nobody ever calls him back.
18:46🔗
Drew
That doesn't make sense, Amanda. So then he will find work. And if that's the case, he will find work. It's an active economy right now. People get jobs. He'll find work. He'll carpool with his buddies. He'll go to work. And you guys get an apartment and move out. That's got to be the goal. In the meantime, you got to kind of suck it up. But he can't sort of wallow. He can't just meander through all this. He has to be very concerted in his effort to get out of there. And if he's not, then there's something wrong. There's something wrong. It's not that he's not finding work. There's something wrong with him and his ability to create action or he's lazy or he's got something wrong with him emotionally. I don't know what it is, but he needs to find a job. Do you agree?
19:28🔗
Drew
I mean, if you think about it, if you're in wherever they are and you've stuck with your parents and kids and your wife, I mean, you'd become a day laborer, right?
19:37🔗
Drew
You'd do something, right? You'd do anything. You'd get out. You'd find a way to do something. And the fact that he doesn't do that means he's spoiled. I mean, that thing's too good for him.
19:44🔗
Jason Mewes
Probably looking at porn on the Internet. He's telling his wife that, you know, he's looking for a job, but he's not. He's downloading porn on the chat rooms. No?
19:58🔗
Jason Mewes
By the way, where do you live at? Do you live in like a, do you live in Hollywood?
20:08🔗
Drew
I know it shocks you. But so much the better. I mean, there's lots of, I'm sure there's lots of opportunities in little towns. Is it possible he's just goofing around on the Internet?
20:23🔗
Caller
Well, no, I do watch. I'm usually right by him because the computer is in the living room.
20:28🔗
Jason Mewes
So maybe, why don't you maybe have him stay? Not that you should, but maybe he could stay home. You can get a job, no? Well, he's not putting any hustle on his game.
20:38🔗
What's the matter?
20:42🔗
Drew
Good. That's great. And it's noble. And you stay with your parents. You stay with your in-laws. Fantastic. So why don't you get a no play, player? That's fucking good. All right. Let's talk. Let's go back to Emily at Stanford and see if she's found out what the Redfeet are about. Emily? Emily?
21:02🔗
My friend is on the phone.
21:03🔗
Caller
They're trying to make him tell me right now. So can you go ahead? You have only five minutes.
21:09🔗
Drew
Hold on. We'll put you on hold. Five more minutes. The friend's on the phone going to tell her about the Redfeet. Emily will believe just about anything, I'm afraid to say. All right, Jay and Silent Bob is the movie and, well, yes, and the Clerks and Clerks 2 coming out in the summer. We got Jay here. Those of you that watched Degrassi have seen him on that as well. Chasing Kevin, chasing Amy, an evening with Kevin Smith and all kinds of stuff with Kevin Smith, of course. You were in Scream 3 as well?
21:35🔗
Drew
That's fun. All right. Well, listen, we've got your calls lined up here. Call us at 1-800-LOVE-191 and Dr. Drew and Jay will be right back. Yep, Loveline will be back.
22:00🔗
Drew
That's right, 1-800-LOVE-191-LOVELINE. He is Jay from Jay and Silent Bob and Clerks. And we have a question for him right now. This is Anthony, and then we're going to solve the mystery of the Red Foot. Anthony, 15.
22:28🔗
Jason Mewes
Well, I won't read them all, but there's some, I did some Independence, so I mean, I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I did like a movie called Bottoms Up and Jack's Law. I don't know, I've done a few, but we'll see what happens. Do I have anything that I'm planning on shooting after? Not right now. We just got done about a week and a half, two weeks ago with Clerks 2, and now I'm just sitting around playing video games and nothing exciting.
23:11🔗
Drew
Good times. Here's Andy 21 who can help us solve the red foot problem. We had a call. Emily from Stanford who saw somebody coming out of a shower with a red foot and all the boys ganged up on her and said, Oh yeah, that's something guys get and we can't tell you what it is. So Andy, what do you think it is?
23:26🔗
Caller
I just, I don't know, I've had a few friends who had the same thing and they just say it's athlete's foot, you know, like when they're in the shower they just scratch it and their feet get red.
23:35🔗
Caller
And especially in dorms, you know, those bathrooms are nasty and we're sure that stuff spreads around.
23:44🔗
Drew
There's a number of different funguses you can get on your feet and they can't turn the foot red and there are also some vascular problems that people can get as well as swelling in the foot. But let's see what, it's not something that guys get. I'm saying, Emily, what did you find out?
24:00🔗
Caller
Okay, I really am bit because it was so anticlimactic and now I feel stupid and I feel like you only love me on the air because I go to Stanford, but I'm not really that dumb. And my friend and I, my best friend and I, oh my God, we don't, I'm like, I'm good.
24:13🔗
Caller
Like, we were going to call him and prove that we weren't stupid, but one of the things that Adam was on, he used to always like yell about how stupid I was. But okay, so the reason why they have red feet and I could like talk to three of them to confirm this, and this is ridiculous, because I go with Stoneback to chase people out of the room. It's because, like, okay, depending on what handed they are, their penis curves in that direction and then they pee on that foot. And then when they pee on that foot, they spend a lot of time cleaning off their foot, which is why it's red, because they were cleaning their foot.
24:42🔗
Drew
Well, I think they made that story up, too, frankly. It's amazing. Guys do pee on their feet. And then they usually just don't... Just most of the guys when they walk in the shower pee on their feet and then just go right on about their shower. They don't do any special cleaning, which I'm sure will make you even happier to hear that.
25:07🔗
Caller
Oh, OK. So I shouldn't bother scrubbing their feet anymore. It doesn't matter in the first place.
25:25🔗
Drew
I know you have to be there. There's no doubt you're smart. But book smart and other kinds of smart sometimes don't always add up to the same thing. I was just saying, just saying. Jay, what do you think? Red foot? Yes. Actually, Emily, to really sort it out, to honest to God, I have to kind of examine it. And that sounds weird, but I have to examine the red foot to know what we're talking about here. And people don't really know how to describe or look at dermatologic issues. So here we go. Let's see.
26:01🔗
Caller
Okay, first and foremost, Jay, my friends and I are huge cult fans of yours and you're the sexiest thing ever.
26:12🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, I know, but we, every Thursday we get together and love on you and watch your movies.
26:23🔗
Caller
But the problem is that I kind of messed with one of my friends, male or female. I messed with a male friend, but it was her, the guy she was dating. So that's what I've done.
26:45🔗
Caller
Yes, it is. And I've been like sick with guilt and wanting to die and everything. And now we're dating.
26:59🔗
Caller
And it's been a problem now because I haven't been able to get together with my Thursday Silent Bob Night.
27:08🔗
Drew
So, Jay, you were intimately involved in this mess. Yeah. Give her some advice. It's like you're speaking to her right through the television, the video screen they're watching.
27:37🔗
Jason Mewes
So, they stopped talking for other reasons and behind her back, you're dating him now.
28:04🔗
Jason Mewes
So, first question is, why would you date a guy that did that to your friend? Don't you think he'll do this to you?
28:13🔗
Jason Mewes
Don't you have a couple other cute friends, I'm sure? I bet he's going to pass you all. Yeah, he'll go...
28:18🔗
Drew
He'll move along. Do you need to know... Remember these words, what Jay is alluding to here, is that you want to know how your relationships can end with this guy? Just look at how his last one ended. That's exactly how yours is going to end.
28:28🔗
Caller
That's a completely different side issue that I've been having with him, too, like my trust issues. But he's been good.
28:33🔗
Drew
Yeah, well, for the time being, he will be. And then he's going to move on and do something good to you. Yeah, by the way, she thinks he's good, too.
28:39🔗
Jason Mewes
Yeah. When were you messing around with him? Where was she? Would he tell her he was he would tell her that she's he's going out with the boys and stuff?
28:46🔗
Caller
No, he wouldn't talk to her because he's very like he just wouldn't answer the phone. Yeah, he's very secretive and secretive.
29:00🔗
He's a good guy.
29:02🔗
Drew
Oh, yeah. Great guy. This is again how little women know about men. This is a bad guy. He's, it's like saying, except for the fact that he abuses little boys or that he's a murderer, great guy. You love him. You love hanging out with him. Now D, here's the deal. You have to, you've lost this friend. You have to realize it and you have to give her at least the respect of telling her what you've done so she knows that she needs to move along and let her get angry with you and let her reject you and whatever she has to do because that's the, you deserve that. That's the price of what you've done. You've really been a poor friend and you don't deserve to be her friend right now and that's reality. And you've got to let, you've got to give her at least the dignity of being able to break it off with him and move on. So she's not wondering what the hell happened and what's the matter with her.
30:03🔗
Drew
You don't want him to do it either. You need to do it. This is mono a mono, girl to girl stuff. Okay?
30:13🔗
Drew
Over your films. Nice. You know what? And she's not going to believe, that guy on the screen there, you know what he told me? Told me I should tell you this. Yeah. We're going to call the hospital. Jeff 18.
30:26🔗
Caller
Yeah. I have two things. One's a lot more important than the other one. First off, I'm really worried about the kid I babysit up the street. I kind of think his dad might be molesting him.
30:41🔗
Caller
Well, I always thought he acted a little feminine, kind of, but he always wants to do stuff like wrestle. I mean, I understand that. I was a kid. Well, I still am a kid. But either way, when I put him to sleep, he's afraid of the dark and stuff. But then when I went on his dad's computer, I saw gay porn. And I don't know.
31:07🔗
Drew
So far, you haven't told me anything that leads me to believe that this man is doing it.
31:16🔗
Drew
Do you want to make reports to the Department of Child Protective Services? You can do that. In fact, that's really what you ought to do is call them, make an anonymous report, tell them what you observed, and they'll give you some advice on how to sort of proceed. Probably you're not going to do anything. You know, there's really not much you can do is you don't have any evidence. Maybe they can notify the pediatrician that takes care of this kid, keep an eye open for something that might be going on. But you, as an 18-year-old, are not going to be able to do too much. And by the way, all these things that you're sort of judging these guys on, I mean, it's normal for a kid to be afraid of the dark, it's normal for a kid to want to wrestle, whether or not he has, you know, sexual orientation issues or gender identity issues that has nothing necessarily to do with abuse issues. Sin22.
32:00🔗
Caller
Hi, actually my question was if it's harmful for like our health, like girls to have like hardcore sex when we're like in our period? Is it like harmful or?
32:25🔗
Drew
Yeah. The hurting is more the general inflammation that occurs in and around your period. And there can sometimes be ovarian cysts that's still healing too. So obviously you want to avoid things that hurt just because that's your body telling you you should. But it's not as though there's some specific medical problem you're going to get into, except that if you get have sex with a guy without a condom who has like a sexually transmitted disease like chlamydia or gonorrhea, it can develop into PID. And other bacteria too can predispose to that. So you can get tubal infections in and around your period. So there's some added risk, but it's not because of the hardcore quality of the sex.
32:59🔗
Okay. So is it better to wear condom when you're actually... Yeah.
33:06🔗
Okay. Sure.
33:07🔗
Drew
But it's not, again, it's not the activity that's the problem. It's the introduction of bacteria.
33:12🔗
Okay.
33:13🔗
Okay.
33:21🔗
I wondered if there's... I heard vitamin E will straighten your penis out.
33:48🔗
Drew
No red feet. That sounds normal, Pete. Really, the vitamin E thing is for something called Peyronie's disease, where a plaque forms on one side of the other or on the bottom, typically. It kind of pulls it over to that side. Can you feel anything in the top surface? Any kind of scar or plaque?
34:09🔗
Drew
No, that all seems like normal. But the 800 units of vitamin E for a couple of months couldn't hurt anything. You can see if it works. These sort of more what are called acquired versions of Peyronie do sometimes respond to that. Okay, here you go, Jen, another one for you. This is Sharon 16.
34:25🔗
Caller
Hi, Dr. Drew. How is the one that called with the James dude from Ghost Whisperer and whatever?
34:32🔗
Caller
And I was basically wondering, why is it whenever I'm in class, sometimes, why is it I have these odd immediate bursts of sexual urges and I don't even feel like I'm horny or whatever you want to say.
34:54🔗
Caller
It's like sometimes during my morning classes and my after lunch classes, I have these I have these urges to have sexual relations with someone or to masturbate and it's like really weird because, yeah, yeah.
35:14🔗
Drew
Because it doesn't suddenly build to that, it sort of washes over you or what is it that's weird?
35:21🔗
Caller
It's like it bursts up out of nowhere, right? Well, usually it's right in the middle while I'm doing an essay or writing or whatever.
36:19🔗
Jason Mewes
Through Kim. Kim Stewart. That's how I know Jack too is. Huh? Huh? Jack Osborne. Remember earlier we were talking about Jack.
36:33🔗
Jason Mewes
He called me up saying that I still don't understand. He just was like, I have to leave town or I've forgotten. I was like, all right. So he said that he didn't want to just leave.
36:44🔗
Drew
He was hanging. He gave her somebody good. That's good. Jack always comes through. He's a responsible guy.
36:48🔗
Jason Mewes
He did. He called and called and then my phone died. And he was like, then he started texting me on my sidekick. He's like, where did you go, dude? What's going on?
36:56🔗
Drew
You're trying to get away. All right. Jason Mewes is here from J and Silent Bob Clerks. Phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. Give us a call. We'll be right back.
37:19🔗
Drew
Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. I'm Dr. Drew, he is Jason Mewes. You know him from Clerks. Bottoms up, Clerks 2 coming up this summer. Jay and Silent Bob, he is Jay. And this next call, I'm very curious about. Jessica, 19.
37:38🔗
Caller
I saw the evening with Kevin Smith, all the colleges, the stand up kind of Q&A you did.
37:51🔗
Jason Mewes
All over. There's been a bunch. We just did one now. We did one in London and we did one in Toronto.
37:58🔗
Jason Mewes
It's going to be evening with Kevin Smith, too. That's the second one. It's called Throw the Podium Down or whatever.
38:04🔗
Jason Mewes
But that's another four hour Q&A. They weren't colleges. They were just Q&A's that they throw together. Yes, because he does that a lot, too.
38:13🔗
Jason Mewes
He really does. I just go with him. About everything. They ask questions about movies. And he tells that he's really, he's really good at it. He could go for like five, six hours. Wow. He just goes on. People ask questions and he just runs with stories and stuff. It's good. So what was your question? Was there a question?
38:40🔗
Caller
There was one where he said that you came in after school and then you kicked in the door and you just started performing fellatio on everything.
38:49🔗
Jason Mewes
Yes, that was at the community center. I was saying earlier where I met Kevin. Well, not where we met, where we started hanging out at this community center.
39:04🔗
Jason Mewes
Nothing, I just was still a little obnoxious, but I was way obnoxious then and I used to just run around and entertain myself and pretend to suck things off. And all, you know, just different stuff. I used to pull my genital, you know, can you say balls?
39:36🔗
Jason Mewes
But no, no, it wasn't on other. It wasn't on people. It was a video game. That's Kevin's story is like, I don't really remember it. I remember stuff like that. And I'd run in and there was a was an asteroids machine. Remember, he used to have the ball. Yeah. And there's nothing to really, but I was doing that and I was going to like the flag pole and anything that stood out and stood up. Yes. Kind of like a circus seal. And that's how he said, that's when he said, because before that he was like a little kid and he was obnoxious. But then he said, after that, he was like, this kid's funny and he's don't really care that anyone's watching. That's the story he tells. I don't really remember that.
40:20🔗
Jason Mewes
Yeah, a lot of the... That's how... That's in Clerks is sort of how I used to act.
40:39🔗
Caller
I wanted to know, are you actually sober through the whole movie or do you actually smoke any of what the movie is about?
40:54🔗
Drew
I think what you're asking in the first one, were you actually smoking pot? Right? Is that the question?
41:06🔗
Drew
Not just that you were high, but when you were allegedly smoking pot, you actually smoked pot.
41:13🔗
Jason Mewes
Yeah. There's a lot of drinking going on and smoking in that one. The other one's now.
41:24🔗
Drew
All right. Let's see what this next call is. Is this Kara on five? Is she four, Jay? Let's see. Kara?
41:30🔗
Yeah, sorry.
41:32🔗
I was wondering if you thought that people could really make a decision with bisexuality. Do you think that it's possible to make a choice? And before, did you think people can't?
41:49🔗
Yeah, I mean, I have relationships with both men and women, and it just makes me uncomfortable. I was wondering if you feel like people can make a decision and stick with it.
42:01🔗
Drew
Well, here's the deal. No, you sound like someone who has a lot of chaos and sexual confusion. And when you can't have a close relationship, you will sabotage it any way you can. And so, no, you with issues with sexuality, with confusion, with trouble, with intimacy. No, you're going to have trouble staying close to anybody, whether you're not, you have this sexual identity issue or not. But having the sexual identity issue just adds more chaos and more trouble and more opportunity for you to sabotage any closeness. You see what I'm saying? I hear you. So that's really the issue. It's not can you choose. You know, when it comes to one's emotional lives, how we conduct ourselves in relationships, it's not a cognitive process. It's not like a choice. We're responding to deep feelings and drives. That's what puts us in those relationships. And we can't tolerate that, can't tolerate the closeness. Those drives push us in another direction. It's not like, no, no, no, I've chosen now to be this way. I'm going to be just with women from now on. That's crap. You're trying to convince yourself of all kinds of things, but your thinking doesn't really substantially change the motivations and the drives that make it so difficult for you to stay in a relationship. Would you agree? Sure. If you disagree, please go right ahead.
43:15🔗
Drew
Because think about it. Do you think when you go in a relationship, for instance, let's say you may choose to participate in, let's say in recovery or something, and that helps you then change your emotional life so that you can then be close to people. But if you're just someone who's confused and out there and had trauma, and you're going to try to force yourself one way or another, it's like trying to force yourself not to do drugs or to stay sober or whatever else people try to force themselves to do that are under the influence of very powerful drives that win every time. Carrie, you with me on this?
43:57🔗
Drew
There is. There absolutely is. But it's not a rational decision making process. It's an experiential process where you learn to be close with other people. And there, the books start to come clear to you which way you want to go, whether you want to commit yourself to male or female. But when you're confused and all over the place, you can't commit to anything because the drives keep pulling you around. Right?
44:46🔗
Caller
No, I love you. You're like, oh, my God, no, you have no idea. You're the epitome of my wet dream.
45:07🔗
What?
45:10🔗
No, we watch it like every day.
45:13🔗
Drew
I've never met someone who's the epitome of a young lady's wet dream. It's nice to meet you. It's excellent. It's nice.
45:20🔗
Drew
Quite a pinnacle of success. Well, Elizabeth, do you want to say anything to him before we go to commercial?
45:41🔗
Drew
Say, Elizabeth, hang on. We may have more to talk about. Clerks, Clerks 2, Jay and Silent Bob with Jason Mewes from all these projects. You know him with Kevin Smith and he's the pinnacle of Elizabeth's wet dreams. We're back with more Jay after this. We'll be right back. That's right, it's Loveline. Yeah, well, the other L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Jason Mewes in here tonight. Clerk, Clerk Two, Jay and Silent Bob. He is Jay. You know him from all those projects with Kevin Smith. Lots of calls for him tonight. Let's start first with Josh, who is 18. Josh.
46:33🔗
Caller
I was actually curious about the Chasing Dogma, the comic that Smith did. We have a copy of it at my local comic shop, and I'm contemplating buying it just because I have Kevin Smith everything. And I'm wondering if I mailed it to the Secret Stash, if I could get your John Hancock on it.
46:53🔗
Caller
Yeah. And I'm also curious that in the Clerks X DVD, you cut your hair. And I'm wondering if you grew it back for Clerks 2 or?
47:01🔗
Jason Mewes
I did. It's growing. It's not as long as it was in JM. Bob, but it's getting there. But yeah, it's down on my shoulders. So, yeah, I had to start letting it grow. And Kevin said we were going to start shooting.
47:19🔗
Jason Mewes
No, no, it's my it's my real hair. I refuse to put extensions or weaves, as you say.
47:31🔗
Caller
I am just curious to know I can get off from sex. No problem. But I have I've never gotten off from oral sex. And I'm just wondering, is that something that some girls can never get off from?
47:42🔗
Drew
No, this is this is sort of the typical syndrome is here's sort of the primer on female magic advice. No, here's the primer on female orgasm. About 60% of women can only have orgasm with oral sex. Okay, they will not have orgasm with intercourse. They're genetically set up that way. There's another 40% that will have sex in intercourse, excuse me, will have will have orgasm with intercourse. About half of them, most of the time, and sometimes with oral sex, about 10% of those, about 10% overall, 20% of the 50% group, will have multiple orgasms with intercourse and will find oral sex uncomfortable. So basically the more orgasmic you are with intercourse, the more difficult it is to tolerate oral sex. Does that sound like you?
48:43🔗
Yeah, she said F.
48:57🔗
Drew
It's just different. Women have a huge genetic range in terms of how they're set up, in terms of their sexual functioning. And most of them are in the range where orgasm isn't caused by intercourse, it's caused by some sort of direct stimulation, like oral sex. And some of the lucky ones have multiple orgasms repeatedly with intercourse only.
49:17🔗
No, it's just sex, not oral.
49:21🔗
No.
49:27🔗
Drew
Right, right, right. Okay, so again, the more orgasmic with sex, the less orgasmic with oral and vice-versa. Got it? That's normal.
49:37🔗
So, I made it very clear.
49:38🔗
Drew
That's how you set up genet. There's a study out of Australia that showed pretty clearly that it's a genetic issue and you can't mechanically or by any other means move yourself from one category to the other. Now, recognize that there are a good number of women, maybe 20 or 30 percent, they're sort of in the middle there, that could go one way or the other depending on who they're with.
49:59🔗
Drew
That they did? They did a bunch of research. There's been a lot of this research lately on-
50:06🔗
Drew
No, I'm sure it wasn't one guy. It was more, I think, probably self-reporting in terms of what they could and couldn't do, what they've experienced across the range of lifetime experiences. Ivan 17.
50:20🔗
Caller
Yeah, my question is like, well, I actually need advice. Like, when I was 15, I was, like, raped. And, like, right now, I'm 17. And I have my girlfriend.
51:00🔗
Drew
Why were you disoriented? You're sounding disoriented now. Why were you disoriented then?
51:17🔗
But, like, so I have my girlfriend.
51:20🔗
Caller
And, like, we're active and stuff. But, like, it is hard to tell her. She'll be like, I don't know. It's kind of hard to tell her.
51:35🔗
Drew
And it is something you can certainly have a post-traumatic stress reaction to and get flashbacks and all kinds of unpleasant symptoms when you're being sexual, naturally enough. And I think you ought to tell your girlfriend about it. I think she'd want to know about it. It's not as though you were hurt or damaged in some sort of very, very deep way. You just were you were a victim of a violent crime. Have to include sex.
52:02🔗
Jason Mewes
Yeah, I mean, I would. It would be tough, though. I can understand it being tough. But yeah, I think she should know.
52:38🔗
Caller
Yeah, just chilling. Well, I can't get the radio signal inside my hotel room. So came out and listened to it in the car.
52:47🔗
Caller
Yeah, I'm not sure if, Jay, if you're married or not. But, you know, I'm just I've been married for probably about a year and a half. And I just got this really awesome job about six months ago. And I'm just I'm just wondering today, Junior, what's the job job? It's I'm a traveling CNC technician. I work on glass machines. And I'm just wondering, you know, how do you deal with being away from the ones that you love for such long periods of time?
53:31🔗
Jason Mewes
Well, I mean, I haven't when I when I've went away and when I when I have went away for a little bit, if I was dating or wanted to see someone, I would they would just come with.
53:44🔗
Caller
Yeah, I hear that. I'm just wondering, you know, is there I mean, I'm just wanting a little bit of advice, you know, what I could probably do to, you know, make it better, you know, Well, there's a thousand ways to connect these days.
53:56🔗
Drew
You can, you know, send little messages, sidekicks, emails, stay connected on the telephone. And then it sounds sort of trivial, but that is important to stay connected with people because that's how relationships are sustained. They need attention. And don't go for more than a week without spending a little time refueling face to face.
54:14🔗
Caller
Well, yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing that really sucks about this job that I have. I mean, the job's great and everything, but I just, chance with me being home within a month, I'll probably be home maybe one day if I'm lucky out of a month.
54:26🔗
Out of a month?
54:32🔗
Caller
I'm traveling like all over the United States, all over Canada. Sometimes I go over...
54:36🔗
Drew
You gotta bring your wife with you for part of this. Whatever it costs, you're gonna lose this relationship. You don't pay some attention to it, okay?
54:46🔗
Caller
Well, yeah, but I mean, sometimes I'm not in one, sometimes I'm in one place for two days and then...
54:56🔗
Drew
Bring her out, let's pay for another connecting flight. Just keep her with you. Christina, 23.
55:06🔗
Caller
Oh my Lord. Well, my question is, every time me and my boyfriend are having sex and so towards the end, it's like he's got this big thing of pretty much turning me over and wanting to give me anal, but I'm just like too scared. And I don't know if this is something you guys just love doing or or what.
55:33🔗
Drew
Is he? I cannot understand that whole thing. Yeah, that is just a bizarre impulsive plan. Are you are easy just into that position or is he actually pushing trying to persuade you to have anal sex?
55:48🔗
Jason Mewes
Well, every time you're saying, you're saying every time towards the end, he wants to put in a duty hole. Yeah. That just don't seem right to me. Ever see American Me? Is it American Me?
56:04🔗
Jason Mewes
You have seen it? Remember when dude gets out of jail and he goes home to his wife?
56:11🔗
Jason Mewes
He turns her over and he just is not used to being in prison for whatever amount of years. Wow. You know. So I don't know.
56:29🔗
Caller
You know what? Toward the second year and now going on the third, it's been going about that way. And I don't know. I just like, oh, no, let's do something else.
56:42🔗
Caller
You know what? We've, we've gotten down to that position, but he's putting it elsewhere.
56:54🔗
Drew
Turn your radio off. Yeah, turn your radio off. Here's the deal. Christina, why do you put up with this? You don't want to do this. You don't have to. You're in control. Cut it out or you're cutting the whole thing off. It's very simple.
57:08🔗
Jason Mewes
Make a deal with him. Tell him if he brings you to the Hustler Store, you get a strap on and let him do it to him. If he lets you do it to him, then you'll let him do it to you.
57:16🔗
Caller
Well, you know what? I've mentioned that to him and he's very, no, no, we can't do that and I don't know.
57:24🔗
Drew
Christina, don't get into this giggly, oh no, not that. Hey, make it serious. No, cut it out or you're not having any sex. It's very simple. Believe me, he'll drop it then, okay?
57:38🔗
Drew
I wonder if that's bogus. All right, this is another call for Jay. Jimmy, 30, what's up? Jimmy? Don't think he's there. This is Javier, 18.
57:51🔗
Caller
Hello. I remember a couple of weeks back, you, Dr. Drew, you brought up that when you were, like, in your late teens, early 20s, you'd get these really bad panic attacks.
58:06🔗
Caller
Yeah. And I've been getting my own for the past couple months, and they're usually probably like the 20 or 30 minutes before I go to sleep. I'm in bed. And what will trigger them is I'll just think about, it's not even like a sexual thing with a girl. It's almost as if it's something that's pre-foreplay, something that can get you aroused and excited, just like her flicking her hair back or...
58:39🔗
Caller
And this is what triggers the panic attack, and it's about like 20, 30 seconds. I don't even know if it is a panic attack, but I just get into this state where, I don't know, like, it seems like there's like a thousand birds in my head or something like that. I just get so flustered.
59:13🔗
Drew
Yes, panic attacks are common, particularly in that 18 to 22-year-old window. That's when they start to come on. If you want to have more often than not, there's sort of two major ways these are treated. One is sort of behaviorally, where you learn to look at panic as a behavior and sort of learn how to manage it and sort of, like a phobia or anything else, you work your way out of it. Sometimes EMDR, if you have a trauma history, is helpful. There's an eye movement sort of technique they use. And then medications are extremely effective for this now. So you might avail yourself of that. Mason 29.
1:00:06🔗
Drew
That sounds more like it. So how are you going to meet? How are you going to meet Jay in San Francisco?
1:00:31🔗
Caller
You know, you and Adam started something off quite a while ago. And I paid attention a little bit, but that was in my heavy lead smoking days when you guys started. And just recently I've been here and you guys do good, man.
1:00:51🔗
Hello.
1:00:53🔗
Hey, okay. I have a problem. Okay. I'm with a man and I love him to pieces. But when I get off myself, I picture women and I...
1:01:05🔗
By myself. I can't get off with him because I'm too busy picturing women. And I'm trying to see if this is healthy. I mean, I've been with women before when I was younger.
1:01:17🔗
But I realized that I'm not physically attracted to them. It's just like a visual attraction, like a visual bisexuality type thing. You see what I mean? I like looking at women, but I don't like touching them because if I want to touch something they have, I'll just touch myself.
1:01:34🔗
No, it wasn't. Something was missing, obviously, in that.
1:01:38🔗
Oh, God. With the women?
1:01:41🔗
Oh, just, ugh, just messy. And I prefer penetration. And it's like when I get off myself, I picture women all the time. I cannot picture women.
1:01:55🔗
I was 15 and they were 39 and 28.
1:02:00🔗
I was 15 and they were 39 and 28.
1:02:05🔗
I was working at an adult store illegally when I was younger.
1:02:08🔗
Drew
Alright. So these are criminals. You were abused as a kid. And when you get sort of worked over by an adult during your sort of developmental stages, that can skew your orientation quite a bit. It can create a coupled association between the high arousal you experience, even though you didn't like it, and just sexuality in general. So this is really kind of a bad situation for you. What were you doing in an adult bookstore at 15?
1:02:35🔗
Oh, God. Well, they offered, well, they pay a lot of money. And it was, it was, everybody there was underage.
1:02:42🔗
They shut the store down.
1:02:44🔗
My mom didn't know that I worked there until later on.
1:02:48🔗
Not in the picture.
1:02:52🔗
Well, when she found, I lied to her and told her I was working at a restaurant. And then when I told her a few months ago, like my boss was like this crazy dude. He can get into people's minds. Like he was like this pornographic Mr. Rogers. And he worked at this bookstore in Oceanside. And he pretty much convinced her that it was good for me to work there.
1:03:15🔗
Yeah, she did because he was good. He got into all of our heads that it was good to work there. And he told me I should experiment with women and with other things.
1:03:27🔗
Well, yeah, his door got shut down and he got like arrested because he impregnated like a 12 year old girl.
1:03:38🔗
Yeah.
1:03:39🔗
Drew
Okay, he has left an imprint on your life. And I do suggest you see some about this because this guy, it's not horrible, but you need a chance to sort this out. Now, on one hand, women do find other women very sexually arousing. It's sort of our image in our culture of what sexuality is, is women. That's what, you know, a lot of women like to think about other women. But this, Serena, seems a little more than average, a little more than that. You're sort of stuck with that right now. And I'm sure you'd like to feel more sexual about your male partner, which is your preference. And that would take a little bit of mental health work. Jimmy, third of your back.
1:04:12🔗
Caller
Hey, Jason. Hey. I had a quick question for you. Being the comedic genius that you are, I was wondering if if you had any influences on you, you know, from the comedic standpoint?
1:04:24🔗
No.
1:04:49🔗
Jason Mewes
Just it was more of not like the first one we did was just Kevin... By himself. Yeah, so.
1:04:55🔗
Jason Mewes
I mean, believe me, I love a lot of, you know, I mean, Jim Carrey, I love a lot, I think is awesome and, you know, there's tons of Chris Farley. But I'm not saying like, I was like, oh, I want to be just like that. I want to be like Bill Murray. It's not... That's what you're asking. But I mean, I find all this really funny.
1:05:33🔗
Caller
Well, mine is I just have been noticing lately and maybe I'm just behind here. But it seems like pornography has changed a lot with the verbiage they're using, like on the Internet in the past couple years. And I've also noticed just culturally, men are just, I don't know, it just seems in general that women are kind of being viewed as, well, I don't know, just really stupider than I think we've ever been viewed in any era.
1:06:01🔗
Drew
Jillian, I have a great book for you. It's called Female Chauvinist Pigs. It's called, it's a book, called Fetal and My Woman. And she is addressing this very issue is, why is it that women have sort of gone on with this, gone along with it? And I think some of her theory is off base, cause she doesn't really have any clinical training or anything, but some of it is rather fascinating and well done. And she particularly, she associates women's behavior, this is going to sound awful, but this is what she does. And it correlates rather well, the behavior of people in captivity and slave situations, compared to that behavior versus how women are behaving in their current situation. When you are in a powerless situation, how do you respond? You go along with the images and necessities of the people in power, when in fact women have relinquished their power and could assert it again and take control of things where they don't have to be portrayed in the way they are or participate in this in any way.
1:06:57🔗
Caller
I think what is confusing for me is being a woman I understand from both sides of the coin. I think the women that are out there doing... I don't think the pornography is bad. Don't get me wrong. For all grown-ups, it's fine to look at naked people and see images that are sexually stimulating. What I'm talking about is specifically the verbiage that's changed. We all get pop-ups. We're on AOL or whatever. If you're in any kind of site that's even got anything to do with adult anything, just all kinds of things pop-up. They may be unrelated. I've had things pop-up that just freaked me out, like bestiality and stuff. I'm like, why in the hell is that popping up? But what I'm thinking of is more that the verbiage on all of this, it's not just sexy images now. It's like it always has to be this stupid B asterisk TCH. I know we can't say bad words on here. Do you know what I mean? Like every image is accompanied by the fact that it says, you know how we got these girls to do this? We paid these hoes great amounts of money. Or like it says, oh, you know, we told them we had you in the movie industry. And like, you know, these stupid broads did this and that. And then it shows the images and the girls are, you know, getting these facials and all this stuff.
1:08:16🔗
Drew
Hey, Jillian, this is what men are thinking. If women go along with it, that's what's going through men's minds. They're not thinking it's cute. They're not thinking it's funny. This is what guys are thinking. And it's getting more and more egregious. And that's what I'm saying. Women throughout, there's a guy named Lionel Tiger, who's a biological anthropologist. And he has made a point repeatedly in his books that women throughout human history have tamed men. And without them, with them participating, men just keep going down. They keep sliding. And you're watching that right now. I would recommend that book, Female Chauvinist Pigs.
1:08:51🔗
Drew
All right. Very interesting, though. J Mewes, Jason Mewes from James Silent Bob, Clerks, Clerks 2 coming out this summer. Our phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. You have lots of fans out there. We found out tonight you're the pinnacle of someone's wet dream. That's a first for this show. Never had somebody as a pinnacle of someone's wet dream. It's good. And we'll be back with J after this. That's right, LOVELINE. Jason Mewes in here tonight. Phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. You know him from many of the Kevin Smith projects. We're going to go right to the phones. Brian, 21.
1:09:36🔗
Caller
I have a really good Christian friend, and we always get in these heated debates regarding whether or not homosexuality is innate or if it's a chemical imbalance. Obviously, he takes the stance that it's purely a choice or it's chemical and it can be fixed. I was wondering if there was anything in recent years in terms of research or whatever that it is in fact biological or genetic.
1:10:03🔗
Drew
Jay, you want to address that? No. There are no... Like every human behavior, there's a genetic and an environmental component and a spectrum of each. Some people have more of a biological burden, some people more of an environmental burden. But in no sense can it be thought of as a choice in a more than... Do you sort of have a preference for the kind of person you're attracted to sexually, Brian?
1:10:32🔗
Drew
I understand, but do you have a particular kind of woman, particular look, particular kind of person?
1:10:41🔗
Drew
Can I talk you out of your preferences? Is there something cognitive or rational about those preferences? No. These are very, very powerful, primitive biological drives that are set by genetics and by the environment. And once they're set, there is not a lot of good evidence that you can change that. Now, they may change to some extent. I mean, if you have a trauma history or other things that have sort of shaped the tendency to act things out repeatedly, you can change things a little bit. You can change the intensity of some of the preoccupations. You're going to change the health or ill health of some of the choices. In other words, whether or not you compulsively act out something dramatically or whether you actually establish a real relationship. In either event, the sort of sexual piece, the preference, the things you found attractive really are extremely difficult, if not impossible, to change.
1:11:34🔗
Caller
What do you think if I were to get in another heated debate with my friend, where could I steer him towards in terms of…
1:11:40🔗
Drew
You know, I don't afford… I'm afraid that's not an area of expertise for me, so I don't have sort of line and verse literature. But I'm sure, you know, go to the National Institute of Mental Health and just look up homosexuality. You'll see a ton of literature there. The fact, though, is think about trying to convince yourself or to be attracted to men. Can I convince you of that? No. No more than you can unconvince somebody of that if they have that orientation or if you like small breast or big breast or small women or whatever that preference is, no amount of choice or talking is going to really change that. Okay?
1:12:20🔗
Drew
Well, it depends. It really does depend, whether or not it is. Some people are born that way and they know very early. A lot of people have sexual abuse in childhood and can't remember anything before that and sort of think that's the way they've always seen it. But it's usually something quite early in adolescence, quite early. Okay, this is Jason for Jay. What's up, Jason?
1:12:42🔗
Caller
Yeah. So, yeah, I heard one of my friends was telling me that Jay and Silent Bob did a straight to DVD movie and I was looking around for it and couldn't find it nowhere. And, you know, I was wondering if that really happened or if he was just, you know, jerking my chain or whatnot.
1:13:00🔗
Jason Mewes
Yeah, no, no, there's no straight to video movie. All of them have been out in the theater before.
1:13:06🔗
Drew
Here's Ashley. Oh, is there something else they might be talking about? Let's eavesdrop on this. Ashley.
1:13:21🔗
I'm on my cell phone.
1:13:24🔗
Caller
OK. I was wondering if it's normal. OK, I have this boyfriend. I've been with them for a year and a half now, and every time we have sex, I feel like really dirty afterwards. Like, I can't explain it. Like, I was wondering if that's normal or if there's any way to fix that or.
1:13:51🔗
Caller
No, like, not during. It's great. But like afterwards, it's like, I wish I hadn't, you know, I hadn't done it or anything, you know.
1:14:13🔗
Drew
That's why our college prepare for their calls. Well, Ashley, I don't know you. I don't know him. You're going to have to help us out a little bit here. Does he do something different or something sort of evocative or weird about the way he approaches you or makes you feel when you're sexually intimate with him?
1:14:28🔗
I love him and he loves me.
1:14:31🔗
Drew
Well, then there's no problem. Whatever. It's something, actually. You better try to figure out what it is. You're either in denial about it or you really are not tuning in to stuff. Listen to your feelings, your instincts about this and try to figure out what he's doing. Does he remind you of something? Is it something about the way he's approaching you or demeaning you? Who knows what it is, but only you know. We don't know. Daniel 24.
1:15:06🔗
Drew
Fifty, fifty times better. Clerks just sucked. You know, you all suck, clerk. Everyone hated that. I mean, it has to be better than that. I mean, of course it was. How much better can it be?
1:15:15🔗
Jason Mewes
Yeah, I don't. I mean, it's going to be good. Kevin is cutting some stuff, so I've got to see some pieces, some of the scenes cut together and it's really funny. So, it's going to be good.
1:15:31🔗
Caller
Yeah, I think you guys should have your own show on Satellite Radio. Just go all out, you know?
1:15:36🔗
Jason Mewes
I'm talking to him about that right now. Drew and I have been talking in between. You know, we're going to get our own show going.
1:15:44🔗
Jason Mewes
As you can see, I don't talk that much. I don't think it would pan out too much.
1:15:49🔗
Caller
Oh man, if you're like anything in the movie, then I mean, that would be pretty cool.
1:15:59🔗
Caller
Hey, okay, so here's my question. I go out a lot with my friends and stuff and we're all the same age and they always get hit on by guys their own age and for some reason, it's only older guys that hit on me. I mean, I get some younger guys hit on me, but for most fights, always older guys. And I want to know what the hell is going on, you know?
1:16:20🔗
Caller
Not really, I mean, all my other friends kind of, you know, are shorter and more petite and that kind of stuff. And I'm five foot nine, I weigh about 170 pounds, you know? I go to the gym, it's not like I'm fat, I'm just, you know.
1:16:33🔗
Caller
So, I mean, I've got long hair, I mean, I don't really think that there's anything horribly distinctive about me.
1:16:39🔗
Drew
You know, men like women that are sort of curvy. They really do. They, the women think that men like the sticks that are on Cosmo or L, what not. But for the most part, men kind of like women, especially up in Alaska. It's a liability to be skinny.
1:16:56🔗
Drew
Except, I've been to Anchorage. It was like 20 below zero. You couldn't walk across the street.
1:17:02🔗
Drew
I couldn't walk across the street, Kelsey. I couldn't. And I stayed at some hotel downtown there with like, had glass windows and was so cold, just that they didn't have curtains on the window or something. It was, it was unbearable.
1:17:15🔗
Caller
Okay. I, I don't, I, I mean, I've seen it get down to negative 10 and that's pretty bad. You're a baby if you can't handle it.
1:17:21🔗
Drew
It was windy too. I am a baby. Absolutely. And it was windy too. And by the way, now you're talking the language of people that live in Alaska. This is why the guys are attracted to you. You're made of hearty stock.
1:17:34🔗
Caller
Well, so I mean, even when I go down to Lourdes pretty, me and my friend just really took a trip to San Diego and primarily it was only older guys that hit on me. And I just, I can't understand it. I mean, because I'm not...
1:17:48🔗
Caller
Like, you know, in their late thirties, their forties, their fifties, I mean, Oh my. Seventies?
1:18:06🔗
Caller
I mean, I just, I don't understand it. And I, it's not just me noticing it. In fact, one of my last boyfriends was like, Hey, you know, you get hit on by a lot of old guys. And like, they can't, they can't tell me why. And it's always bothered me. And I figured you guys won't be able to answer that question.
1:18:21🔗
Drew
Well, you're, you're hanging out with, you know, you're at a sort of a, a crossover age when 19 year olds can look like young, very, very young people or can look like adults. And maybe you're somebody who looks more like someone in their older 20s and just more like someone that an older person would come up to and talk to who's hanging around with a bunch of young people. You know, it's weird, older men will not come along with, be with people that remind them of children, of a healthy older person. But if somebody's an adult in late 20s, 30s, guys will think that's fair enough. So maybe you just look older.
1:18:57🔗
Caller
So, I don't know, I guess maybe I can look older, but I don't think I look particularly that much older. Do you think it's just that I look older than my friends or?
1:19:04🔗
Drew
I think so. That would be the easiest explanation. Without us knowing you and whatnot, that's about the only thing we can come up with. What did you say, Jay?
1:19:13🔗
Caller
Hi. This comment is for Jason Mewes. I'm like a big fan and I saw you at Comic Con about two or three years ago. I think you were promoting J. Insign and Bob Strike Back.
1:19:39🔗
Caller
Yeah. It's really weird. Me and my boyfriend, when we have sex, like, he likes to make animal noises. And I wasn't too sure, like, if it was an impulse thing or what it was. It's like, it really freaks me out.
1:20:04🔗
Caller
Like, any position, it doesn't, it's like, usually, like, from the back. And he, like, wants me to, like, touch his, like, outer layer of his butt. And it's like, I don't know, he makes jokes with his friends all the time.
1:20:24🔗
Drew
Give us an example. I'm trying to get my head around these animal noises. Like, what? Give us an example. Help us out here.
1:20:44🔗
Woof woof?
1:20:45🔗
Caller
Yeah, like things like that. And like, any noise, like bird noise, like he chirps and things like that.
1:20:57🔗
Caller
Um, just, like, I don't know if he's just like chirp. Like, I don't know, he just makes different noises.
1:21:12🔗
Caller
Oh, he's like, he's like serious when he does it, like... Like, you know how like you're regular having sex, and like you'll moan and stuff like that, like he's serious, like, about the noises.
1:21:28🔗
Uh-huh.
1:21:28🔗
Drew
I'm about to hang up on you, so you got a couple seconds here to get around to it. You're going to tell us?
1:21:36🔗
Like that.
1:22:10🔗
Drew
Is he there in the room with you right now? Can we talk to him? Let's talk to him. Give him, give him the phone.
1:22:23🔗
Drew
Hey, Chris. You know the international laws of bogosity. If we call you out on a bogus call, you're required to fess up.
1:22:32🔗
Drew
All right. Good try though. And good job putting your girlfriend up to it too. It's a rare man that can get a girl to cooperate with a bogus call. All right. All right.
1:22:44🔗
Hey, how you doing? I'm doing good.
1:22:47🔗
Funny. Good. Good. Okay. I'm practicing celibacy because, you know, in this day of age and HIV and everything, it's just a wonderful thing to do. So I just want to know.
1:23:00🔗
Don't put those little things on. This is serious.
1:23:04🔗
The benefits of it also to encourage other people that it's OK. And also, how did you get started, Dr. Drew? Because I like sex. It's not like I'm against it or anything. But obviously, those are my reasons. And how did you get started? And for a female that's interested in getting into, like, sex education and talking to people about it, what kind of steps do you suggest for medication?
1:23:27🔗
Drew
Get a MD first and then get a specialization in an area of interest. Adolescent medicine, if you're interested in that, psychiatry, if you're interested in that, addiction medicine. But you first need to get an MD and understand what clinical, what is clinically important in terms of people's behavior and the medical issues that pertain to all this. In terms of how I got started, I just took a complete accident. I was in medical school and somebody asked me to help out on something. I thought I was doing community service back when the AIDS epidemic was just getting started and terms like safe sex hasn't been invented yet, discussions about celibacy weren't being had yet, and I did it for 10 years for free. I thought I was doing community service. I developed into this whole thing. And celibacy definitely is a great option and certainly something should be encouraged. Unfortunately, a lot of young people are not doing that. And we're sort of, if you ever wonder why it's a good idea, listen to the show for a few minutes and you'll hear a lot of the consequences that occur because of not making that choice.
1:24:29🔗
Drew
All right. All right. Jason Mewes here from Jay and Silent Bob. You crack up every time I list all your, you know, I hate that drop and if it offends me, so I can just imagine how other people feel about it. Jay and Silent Bob, Clerk, Clerks 2 coming out this summer. Jason Mewes in here answering your questions. If you want to talk to him, it's 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.
1:25:06🔗
Drew
That's right, it's Loveline 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. We have just a few minutes to take calls, so let's get right back to it here. Here's Sean, who wants to follow up on our animal noise call of a few minutes ago, which was bogus, but Sean, you're not bogus, right?
1:25:46🔗
Jason Mewes
I like how the noise gives you bragging rights, because you tell your friends you're making noises.
1:25:57🔗
Drew
We had a call with Jillian about 10-15 minutes ago, was curious about why men are so exploitative to women. And here we go. Here we go. This is how men work. They're a beautiful thing. Don't these women ever turn around and want to sock you?
1:26:18🔗
Drew
Really? You asked her about it? How would you feel if I made animal noises while we're having sex?
1:26:33🔗
Caller
This question basically pertains to the readdressal of like the Harry met Sally idea.
1:26:43🔗
Caller
So I'm wondering, isn't it healthier to try and basically admit the sexual attraction and move on, integrating that back?
1:26:54🔗
Jason Mewes
I think you'd be friends with... I have a lot of female friends, but a lot of them might have been having sex with. Or still stay friends.
1:27:02🔗
Drew
Well, that's not the question. The question is, do you think... All right, there's someone that's saying that, Harry. Is there, is sex always involved or sexual attraction always involved in a male-female relationship, particularly in young men and women?
1:27:20🔗
Drew
I would agree with you. I think it's yes. I think it's always there. I think friendships occur in young... We are not saying, none of the three of us, I'm just saying you'd agree with us, Max, on this. We're not saying that men and women can't be great friends. They can be. But what starts the friendship off, in almost every situation I've seen, somebody's attracted to somebody and the other person doesn't respond. And they kind of settle for friendship. Now, women, generally, in my experience, are very flexible with that. They go, okay, I'll be your friend. They're fine. And they kind of settle into friendship. Men can tend to harbor all kinds of plans. They've got a war room built. They've got ancillary plans. They've got dossiers. They're waiting for that girl to break up with her boyfriend. How often do I hear about women saying, you know, I can't even, my friend, Max, he's great. He's been around for years. And when I, hang on, buddy, and when I broke up with Stu, one thing led to another and there we were having sex. Okay. Wait, Max, Max been planning that for three years. I mean, come on. And so, so your good friend that you stand up having sex with, believe me, he's been, and by the way, it's one of the differences between men and women. Men, women, if a man has just broken up with a woman, oh, no, fair, uh-uh. She doesn't want him, I don't want him, forget it. But a man, it really behaves like sort of a lion in the bush. Watching a herd of antelope go by, and the one in the end with the broken leg, that's the one they're going for. And that's the way they work when the woman breaks up with the boyfriend. Would you agree, Max?
1:28:48🔗
Caller
I would definitely agree. And just as like a final closing question, I mean, is it a good idea to basically admit that attraction and a friendship and to move on?
1:29:02🔗
Drew
I think it might be OK to bring it up, but if you keep bringing it up, it's going to feel a little intrusive and I think women are going to push back and feel kind of grossed out about the friendship at a certain point. You need to contain all that and go ahead and be a friend. Because your motivation to keep bringing it up is maybe we'll become friends with benefits, maybe we'll incorporate it in this relationship. Come on, she wants to be your friend. She doesn't want to have sex with you. Otherwise, she'd be your boyfriend, she'd be your girlfriend and she'd be having sex with you. That's that. This now is Christy 26.
1:29:45🔗
Caller
OK, I was calling because I've noticed that it's not all the time, but every now and then, and I haven't really kept track of exactly what's going on at the time, but sometimes when I have sex, I have like pain in my kind of across from my hip bone. And like last night, it was on my left side across from my hip bone. And every time he'd go in, it was like he was hitting something or like-
1:30:09🔗
Drew
He is hitting something. He hits your cervix and flips your uterus up and down. That kind of is painful. And if you have ovarian cyst or endometriosis or any tubal or uterine infections, it can be quite painful.
1:30:21🔗
Caller
So- I went to the hospital not too long ago for right-sided pain. They thought it was my appendix. And it turned out they couldn't find anything wrong. And so I'm wondering why I'm having so much pain in that area.
1:30:30🔗
Drew
Why are you going to the hospital? Why don't you see a gynecologist to have a proper workup?
1:30:35🔗
Caller
Well, I thought, well, that's kind of what I'm trying to figure out. Do I need to go see somebody or is this like normal?
1:30:42🔗
Drew
Yes, you need to see a gynecologist. Could be a cyst, could be endometriosis, could be uterine infection, could be tubal infection, could be a lot of different things, could be nothing. Could be a retroflex uterus or a flipped uterus.
1:31:03🔗
Caller
Is it okay? My husband and I are very touchy-feely, lovey-dovey, and we have two kids, four and six. Is it okay to be like that in front of them or is that going to make them...
1:31:13🔗
Drew
No. It's good to be... It's great to be physically intimate with somebody in front of your kids. You're the model for their relationships in the future and for their sense of intimacy. To be overtly sexual, though, is a little weird for them. So maintain proper boundaries. Jason Mewes is in here with me. It's Loveline. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody! That about does it for Loveline tonight. Jason Mewes, thank you for coming in here.
1:31:49🔗
Drew
That should be cool. And listen, tomorrow night we've got Mike Shinoda from Lincoln Park and Fort Minor. Is that New Bainey's got going? We'll hear about that tomorrow night when he shows up. So until that time, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Jason Mewes saying good night and stay well.