0:22🔗
Drew
With The All American Rejects, I'm Dr. Drew. I'm here with Nick Wheeler, Mike Kennedy, Chris Gaylor. They are The All American Rejects.
0:29🔗
Voiceover
Phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. These guys are very bashful, so we'll help sort of bring them out of their shell. So, guys, you've been on the road?
0:37🔗
Yeah.
0:45🔗
Yeah, pretty much.
0:46🔗
Done a few continents.
0:47🔗
Had a week off or so, maybe? A few continents?
0:58🔗
It's pretty amazing.
1:01🔗
People are great. You could live there if it wasn't 14 hours away from everything. In a 14-hour plane flight.
1:06🔗
Drew
If you had to commute. Yeah. What continent or what country is in the All American Rejects? Is there a place? It goes crazy for you.
1:19🔗
Drew
And how about in this country? Is there a particular region or is it pretty much spread across?
1:24🔗
Drew
You should know, my daughter gave me explicit directions the night we found out to get autographs from you guys. So that means something.
1:30🔗
Drew
And you guys are back on Loveline. It's only been like four or five months since we saw you. Another good sign. Yup. Nice. Even though the hair is shorter.
1:36🔗
Yeah, you know.
1:41🔗
But except for that, he looks like a Ivy Leaguer.
1:47🔗
Yep.
1:51🔗
The All American Rejects
We get to go home for Thanksgiving, but that's only because Oklahoma. That's only because we've been in Oklahoma.
2:00🔗
Well, the first time we talked about a University of Central Oklahoma.
2:05🔗
Yes.
2:06🔗
Yeah.
2:07🔗
That's us.
2:08🔗
The All American Rejects
But yeah, we only get to go home because we ratted the tour through Oklahoma the night before Thanksgiving. Otherwise, you know, we would have been, I don't know, in Muskegee.
2:18🔗
Wait, that's somewhere Muskegon.
2:20🔗
Drew
Does it sort of suck that you only get to spend like long enough to do your performance and you're out of the town? I mean, you never get to really get a sense of the places you're visiting.
2:27🔗
The All American Rejects
Yeah. Australia was cool, though, because you fly to every single show. So you always have like a day or two off in each city because the distances are so far. Yeah. Yeah.
2:38🔗
We've done Japan. Tokyo and Osaka a couple of times.
2:44🔗
The All American Rejects
But I do have the adapter kit for all my electronics for when we do go over there.
2:51🔗
Drew
So at 23 you always have to carry with you certain kinds of clothing and electronic adapters to handle your lifestyle.
3:02🔗
Why?
3:07🔗
I used to love flying.
3:08🔗
The All American Rejects
Speaking of, I just bought the airplane power adapter for my computer.
3:13🔗
You're cool now.
3:14🔗
Drew
Phone number here on Loveline is 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's get... let's get right to calls. Here's an interesting one. Jessica 25. Jessica?
3:33🔗
Caller
Hi. So, I have a question. Is there such a disease or something that a man can have where his penis size does not match, like, his body size? Like, I heard it might be called infantile penis syndrome?
3:51🔗
Drew
Give me that textbook in there on genital reconstruction. Elephantiasis, yeah. It's a textbook looking thing in the closet. I'm going to look it up for you right now. Cold weather. Well, the reality is, there's some men that, I think they're probably called micro phallus, is what it's probably called.
4:09🔗
Drew
In fact, it sounds worse, because infantile leaves holds for the possibility of future growth. Yeah. That's what I want, the general plastic surgery. I'm going to look it up right now.
4:50🔗
Caller
When someone's that small, like you have to have sex in certain positions just to make sure it stays inside. What?
5:03🔗
Drew
That's sad. Well, I'm looking... I'm trying to read through some stuff here while I'm talking to you, and I don't see anything that sort of gives me an idea of how frequent this is, but they call it microphallus in this book.
5:14🔗
Drew
The small penis, it happens, and it's not all that uncommon. I have heard about not... Probably once every quarter on this show, a woman calls about it and talks about some guy the size of a thumb or a pinky. And they better be good at oral sex, Jessica, is all I can say. And the reality is, for a lot of women, the size thing is not a big issue, and they're kind of okay with it. I know you're laughing, Jessica. That guy, by the way...
6:03🔗
Drew
Take care. Good call. Thank you. Bye. All right. Let's take a call from Deanna. You guys are doing great so far. By the way, it's Nick Wheeler, Mike Kennedy, Chris Gaylor, The All American Rejects. Deanna, 20, what's going on?
6:26🔗
Caller
Oh, and Dr. Drew, I've been reading your book, Cracked, and it's really amazing, and it's got me through therapy, basically, in just a couple of days.
6:37🔗
Caller
Well, I've been in therapy. I mean, I've had a lot of trauma throughout my whole life, basically.
6:42🔗
Drew
So, I mean, really, the idea of that book was really to explore what it is to be a caretaker of people with trauma and the kind of boundary issues that develop in the patient and the doctor. And it's not so much to replace therapy, but to give you an impetus to encourage therapy, you know what I'm saying?
6:58🔗
Caller
Well, I don't actually have that addiction problem with family members that I've lived with, and guys I tend to date.
7:08🔗
Caller
Well, actually, well, my dad is an alcoholic, but I was with my stepdad who actually OD'ed when I was 12, and he was a good fit.
7:22🔗
Drew
Okay, but you see how your, you know, your, what happens to you then is you're attracted to addicts, alcoholics, just like your mom was. Magically, each husband she selected was another addict, another alcoholic, right?
7:36🔗
Drew
And the only way you can break that sort of fit, where you're sort of a key that fits in the lock of an alcoholic or addict's sort of psyche, is if you get some treatment yourself.
7:48🔗
Drew
Maybe codependency treatments and 12-step, something like that. What's your question? Let's not get on Deanna right now. What's your question?
7:56🔗
Caller
Okay. Well, my question is, I'm with this guy. I've been with him for six months, and he never wants to have sex with me, ever.
8:22🔗
Caller
Well, when it was frequent, I was not having a good time because he liked to talk throughout the whole entire time.
8:29🔗
Caller
Just anything. He's like, Yeah, Joe, I was reading this book today and I was just walking out of the office.
8:48🔗
Caller
Not that I'm aware of. I mean, I've been with him. I've been at his house and nothing going on there.
9:07🔗
Um, yes, I was.
9:08🔗
Drew
Oh boy. So you're a sexual abuse victim, partially treated, and I'm writing all this down. He is sort of absent, maybe an addict, don't really know. Could he be carrying on a sort of alternative life away from you?
9:27🔗
Caller
He actually proposed to me, but I turned him down. I mean, is it possible that I'm just like, I'm only 20 and I'm not ready.
9:39🔗
Drew
I'm sorry, she's going to say 57. Is it possible that you're sort of distorting some of this, and just because he's not a super exciting addict guy, you're sort of frustrated with him and sort of minimizing what he actually is doing with you?
9:55🔗
Drew
Do you know what I'm saying, Deanna? Hang on, but maybe it's actually once or twice a week, but to you since it's not three times a day, it feels like nothing.
10:03🔗
Caller
No, it's three times like a month. I'm literally like begging him. I go to like Victoria's Secret all the time, try to put on new lingerie like all the time.
10:17🔗
Caller
What can I do to get him attracted to me? Or should I just like dump him? Because obviously that part of the relationship is not working.
10:26🔗
Caller
Don't get, like when he tries to have sex with you, maybe say no a couple of times. Kind of like, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? It's too easy for him.
10:35🔗
Drew
He needs a little challenge. Could he be, could he be, could a recoiling? He knows she's got all this energy and is on, wants to do it three times a day. And he's like blah, blah, blah, blah.
10:52🔗
Drew
I have no idea either. However, I'm sure he likes the fact that you want to have sex with him all the time. Have you talked with him straightforwardly about this?
11:00🔗
Caller
I just asked him on Saturday night. I was like, you know, we don't have anything to do.
11:04🔗
Drew
You know, you've got to be a little more direct with this. You have to be, sit down down as gay. Look, this is what I need for my relationship in order to work. There's an imbalance here between our desires. You have to step up. I'll try to bring it down a little bit, but we have to compromise here. And the compromise we've reached lately isn't working for me. And if you can't step up a little bit, that may be a deal breaker. And you have to really get very, very clear with him about that. Because without that, I mean, how is she going to go for it? I mean, I don't want to discourage her from being with this guy, because this is one of the guys who's not an addict. Finally, she's with a non-addict, and we're going to break up with her. No, I'm not so sure we should be doing that. All right, you guys know the game Germany or Florida? Oh, yeah. Yes. Everything macabre and weird emanates from either Germany or Florida. So our callers call in, tell us the story. We tell them Germany or Florida. A little theme song, Anderson?
11:58🔗
Okay. A man cut off the head of his pregnant wife's lover and put it on her bedside table in the hospital where she was about to give birth.
12:08🔗
The angry husband struck on Tuesday when the victim was phoning the woman from a phone booth at a nearby airfield. The man cut off the second one's head with a knife, then drove to the hospital, showed it to his wife and left it there.
12:23🔗
snopes.com. It's a true or false urban legend kind of website, but this one was confirmed.
12:34🔗
I don't know.
12:34🔗
They just declare it confirmed.
12:38🔗
No, they look into it pretty heavily. It's really trusted on the Internet.
12:47🔗
No, no, no, no.
13:05🔗
Drew
Let's put it this way. If a head were cut off of somebody in Florida, don't you think there would have been national news?
13:25🔗
Caller
I just wanted to say thanks on behalf of my friend Ben. You signed an autograph for him because he became an Eagle Scout and he liked that.
13:41🔗
Drew
He's in there. But he couldn't come up with a theme song for Germany or Florida for you. So what are you going to do? Hello. Jennifer 20.
13:55🔗
Caller
OK, I've been with him for three years and we recently moved to separate states. And when we get together and have sex, it hurts afterwards.
14:24🔗
Caller
Well, is it because of the lack of sex between visits? Like, you know, I think that's what it could be.
14:33🔗
Caller
I think so, because I moved a couple months ago and I've only seen him maybe three times since then.
14:40🔗
Drew
I'll tell you one of the other common reasons, it may or may not be you, but it applies to certainly many other people that women don't think about that causes this sort of thing, is hormonal contraceptive, birth control. If you're on one that has a very powerful progesterone in it, you can get some dryness down there and it causes irritations. If you're on Yasmin or DepoProvera, anything like that?
15:04🔗
Drew
Ortho doesn't typically do that, but it can. Is that a new pill for your... Jennifer, I mean Anderson, this is actually quite interesting.
15:12🔗
Caller
But I've been on it since I was in about sixth grade and I'm twenty now. So could that be the reason?
15:22🔗
Drew
I was praying to God you were going to say that. Okay, good. So it wouldn't suddenly cause that problem, not typically anyway.
15:32🔗
Drew
I get you. So it probably isn't that. Is there a size difference between this gentleman and the previous gentleman?
15:39🔗
Drew
Not at all. Again, another man, a young man, I hope is not listening to the show today. Does he wear condoms? What?
15:47🔗
Caller
No, he doesn't. I don't like condoms. See, but that's another thing. I'm kind of a nympho.
16:28🔗
Drew
I hope you're not having vaginal after anal because that would explain some of the burning.
16:33🔗
Caller
See, it just burns when we have, like it hurts when we have sex afterwards. It doesn't happen when I use my toys or anything.
16:41🔗
Drew
Well, again, we're flipping over all the cards here, Jennifer. Again, I hope it's not the sequence in which you're having sex because if you're having anal, then vaginal, that would burn. Secondly, there may be some dryness or some lubricant issue, or maybe you guys are going too long, or maybe it's the fact that it's so long in between sessions. I certainly hope that you're getting regular pelvic exams and pelvic exams to be sure there's not an infection, a vaginal infection, that sort of thing. A lot of people want to blame semen and claim that it's like a semen allergy. They do. That exists, but that is rare. And I certainly would look at many, many other things and have it worked out before you conclude that it's a semen allergy. Greg is 17. Greg.
17:24🔗
Caller
Sup? Hey, I was wondering, my girlfriend told me that I kind of stink downstairs. And I mean, it's fine if I take a shower and everything, but like we don't do anything in the morning. We do something like after school. So by that time, I'm already kind of smelling down there.
17:48🔗
Drew
Yeah, I understand, but I mean, is there like physical activity between the morning shower and the afternoon sexual activity?
18:11🔗
Caller
Yeah, I do, but not like excessively, like every now and then, like especially like when we're actually doing something sexual, yeah, I sweat a lot.
18:29🔗
Drew
And what's the nature of the smell she describes? Cheese. Parmesan. Are you circumcised?
19:08🔗
Drew
Now, the problem with that, that's a good plan. For women, there's some risks with talc, it turns out. There have been reports sporadically about cervical cancer, weird things, ovarian cancer and things. I don't think that's real, but that's sort of out there. But for men, it's a good idea, unless they're hairy, then what you basically created is paper mache.
19:28🔗
Drew
Yeah, well, paper mache is sort of encasing for your junk. So, but you guys have not that problem.
19:45🔗
Caller
All right, well, me and my girlfriend had sex. We've been having sex for about six months, and we had sex recently and her vagina got so swollen that the inside lips, like, swelled all the way out to the outside lips. But you could see them.
19:59🔗
Caller
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what that's about. She said it really hurt. It kind of freaked her out. So I was just wondering what that was.
20:05🔗
Drew
I don't know what that's all about. Let's see if The All American Rejects can come up with the explanation for this medical process.
20:15🔗
Drew
By the way, they'll be on tour in Los Angeles on December 2nd at the Will-Turn, heading to the UK starting in February of next year.
20:24🔗
Drew
That's right. By the meantime, I want you to explain why the interlips are swelling to the point they come out the outer lips. Gents? Is it rough sex?
20:33🔗
Caller
It wasn't that rough. I mean, it was in the back of the car, but it wasn't that rough.
20:48🔗
Drew
Yeesh. And does she have any other problems? Any infections? Herpes? Do you have herpes? Anything like that?
21:05🔗
Caller
You know what? She didn't tell me until I got home. She just went in her house and looked at it and it was really swollen, so.
21:18🔗
Drew
Well, there are older women actually can get a prolapse where, she never had children? This girl? No, no, no, no. Where the bladder or the rectum can actually prolapse through.
21:26🔗
Caller
Do you have the David Allen Grier sample? Last time we were in here you were playing the David Allen Grier.
21:34🔗
I said I got feelings for you.
21:46🔗
Drew
No, no, no. This is really just a sign of inflammation, Josh. And whether or not it's a vaginitis or excessive activity, 20 minutes for some women is enough to cause swelling and an outch. And I think she was sort of putting you on notice that it was a little bit, maybe she couldn't come right out and say it, but maybe things went along too long or too rough or whatever. And did you see her again after that night?
22:22🔗
Caller
I don't know. I mean, like I said, we've been having sex for about six months and nothing like that ever happened.
22:33🔗
Drew
Yeah, I think it's just one of those things where she caused it. Again, she needs to have a pap smear, double check, make sure it's not an infection, could be a vaginal infection. And the fact that you guys are not using a condom. And by the way, what are you using for birth control?
22:57🔗
Drew
And so you really should... She really should take the morning after pill, like, immediately to make sure that that risk is minimized. You can take it up really up to five days after an unprotected sexual intercourse. It's designed for three days, and it reduces the risk of pregnancy by about 70 percent by preventing an egg from being released. So no conception ever occurs. It really doesn't interfere with implantation, which is what the right-to-life people claim it does. It really doesn't. It works by preventing ovulation. That's why 30 percent of the time it doesn't work. That 30 percent of the time, the egg gets to the sperm and you get pregnant. It doesn't interfere with the implantation, you get pregnant. So reduce your risk, use the morning after pill, and maybe the lubricant gold is your honor. The same thing applies. We were talking about that last woman with the painful intercourse, the burning, could be on a birth control pill or ester and that sort of thing. So anyway.
23:46🔗
That would help.
23:49🔗
The All American Rejects
You need to vacuum that backseat every once in a while. You never know what gets back there.
23:52🔗
Drew
Just saying. The American Rejects will be for me at the American Music Awards Tuesday, November 22nd. That's just coming right up here. 8 p.m. on ABC. They're currently on the Rise of the Fall Tour and just released the CD in July. Where is it now? Right there. There it is. Is Move Along the name of the CD? Yep. Excellent. I've got them for my kids. It's perfect. They're gonna be so happy with me tonight. They're from Stillwater, Oklahoma and they are with us tonight on Love Line. 1-800-LOVE-191 and we'll return after this.
24:20🔗
Caller
The shockingly raw drama Havoc stars the princess diaries Anne Hathaway in a gritty and sexually provocative role. Available in unrated and R-rated versions. Havoc hits DVD on November 29th, 2005.
24:34🔗
Hello, this is your radio.
24:40🔗
Drew
This is just a reminder that all callers 18 years of age and older who get on the air tonight will get a free DVD for the movie Havoc. 1-800-LOVE-191, that's Loveline. I'm here with Nick, Mike, and Chris. They are The All American Rejects. Hello. And I just had the great good pleasure, gentlemen, of looking at your lead singer, Tyson Ritter's vocal cords. I saw a laryngoscopy of his incredibly inflamed vocal cords. Apparently the reason he's not here with us tonight is he got the polyps and inflammation from straining. And let me tell you, I've now seen what's in his throat. It's impressive. And so those of you who think that the Montreal and Toronto and Pittsburgh shows were postponed for spurious reasons, I beg to differ. This is like, he's going to have a tough time, he's going to be ready. I heard what they did for him in terms of injecting the steroids and stuff, but it's going to be tough for him even so he can't talk until Tuesday until the American Music Awards. It's American Music Awards, right?
25:59🔗
Drew
He'll be in full swing by then, I'm sure. So anyway, if you guys were expecting to hear him, he has a legitimate excuse. In fact, if he were here, you wouldn't hear him anyway because he'd be forbidden from speaking with his vocal cords.
26:11🔗
Drew
It's one of the liabilities of being a rock star. It's not the first time I've heard of this, by the way. A lot of rock singers get this stuff and it's one of the liabilities. All right, we got some great calls up here. Let's go first to, by the way, we're going to hear a song move along in a couple of minutes here. First down, it's Kristen 23.
26:27🔗
Hi.
26:28🔗
Caller
I was just wondering, I am currently seeing someone who, well, I think I'm seeing him. I don't really even know. He's 15. He's about older than me. I don't usually like guys that are that much older.
26:45🔗
Drew
And you have to be like, why would a guy, why would you contemplate being a guy that passes that limit?
27:00🔗
Caller
I can't really explain it. He just sort of, I don't know. I've never been attracted to someone that much older, and it sort of intrigued me, you know?
27:07🔗
Caller
But the thing is, he doesn't seem to want me, and I would think he would be all over it because I'm way younger than him. And I'm good. I'm good looking. I'm not like a supermodel, but I'm good looking. And he-
27:25🔗
Caller
He has money, but the thing is, I heard, the thing is though, I don't really care about dating him.
27:36🔗
Caller
And the thing is, I just want to know, why doesn't he want me? Is it because, is it because he, I'm not, he's not attracted to me and I'm not good looking, even though he initiated this? Or is it maybe because he's older and there's something wrong with his sex drive? Or I don't understand, I just don't get it.
27:51🔗
Drew
Maybe it's more that a 50-year-old being sort of pursued by a 23-year-old knows if he's at all intuitive or smart, that there's gotta be something going on and the 23-year-old is pursuing him and he doesn't want to participate in that. You know what I mean?
28:06🔗
Caller
Except for I, I realize, I realize this and I know that you're right, but I'm a smart girl and I have my life together, I'm not gonna go psycho on him afterwards, I'm not going to, you know?
28:14🔗
Drew
Well, that's one of the things that may concern that you're gonna go psycho, or on a more sort of believe it or not altruistic basis, he may just be concerned with sort of contributing to your troubled instincts.
28:26🔗
Caller
You know, I pick up on that too, I think he's maybe worried about hurting my feelings or something like that, but the thing is I'm a big girl, like I know what's going on in the world.
28:36🔗
Drew
I know, but maybe he's not a bad guy and he really says, geez, a 23 year old out of the fit world, there's gotta be something wrong with that and I don't really want to participate in this, it's just, it's just too weird.
28:46🔗
Drew
Well, I'm sure he's very flattered by it and I'm sure he likes you and is attracted to you and sort of likes flirting with the whole situation, but to actually consummate it, gentlemen, do you agree with me on that?
29:00🔗
Drew
Because, well, listen, for one thing, with men, particularly men, men, older men, that are used to sort of once the train leaves the station, it's getting- You don't stop it. Yeah, it's leaving the station.
29:17🔗
Caller
He wants to- He asked me the other day, like he wanted me to tell him stories about crazy things I've done with guys, which was a question I was totally unprepared for and I screwed it up. So-
29:28🔗
I didn't tell him the right-
29:43🔗
Caller
I'm a student and I have a job too and I'm, you know, I'm independent and I have my life together. I really do.
29:58🔗
Caller
This might be an important factor and it might be, I hate to say this, but this might be part of the attraction. He's kind of famous and I think maybe everyone's telling me he's used to having girls throw themselves at him and the fact that I haven't physically like jumped on him, he's expecting me to, but I would also think that if he's used to this he would be comfortable with doing it himself, you know? I don't know.
30:24🔗
Drew
This whole thing, the more you tell me, the more creepy and uncomfortable it becomes, Kristen. This does not sound good.
30:33🔗
Caller
No, I really can't because you guys probably know him. Like you probably know him personally.
30:52🔗
Caller
I doubt he wants everyone to know about his affair with a 23-year-old girl anyway, he's famous.
30:56🔗
Drew
You know, it just all sounds the fact that you're attracted to him because he's famous and he has other girls and he's sort of a womanizer and you're like lots of guys in this chaos and you sound bipolar to me as crazy as ever. Enjoy Kristen, whatever you want to do. But I'd kind of slow down a bit, just slow it down. This does not sound like a great situation for you.
31:17🔗
Caller
I can see that she would call into a show like this asking and that's why he doesn't know.
31:21🔗
Drew
Right, it's kind of a bad feeling about it. You guys have lots of women throwing themselves at you, rock stars, right?
31:33🔗
Drew
The law restrains you guys, but I mean, even if it didn't, you kind of have a conscience, right? I mean, oh no, maybe not.
31:43🔗
The All American Rejects
I'm looking at Nick who gives me that like, I'm just thinking about this piece of pizza, man.
32:23🔗
Caller
Well, my girlfriend and I have been together for a year now, and for the first four months during sex and after sex it never happened, but now it happens almost on a regular basis after we have sex or sometimes during. I didn't know. I just don't understand. I have no idea what it is and why.
32:49🔗
Drew
But I mean, has the range of positions changed after the four month window? When it even started, was it because of new positions?
32:57🔗
Right.
33:02🔗
Drew
Is there anything else? Is she on medication? Has she been taking birth control now and not before?
33:07🔗
Caller
Yeah, she started taking birth control. She did Depovera and then she got off that and then now she's just on the pill and I don't know what form of it.
33:17🔗
Drew
Okay, well that can change sort of how the tissues work down there a little bit. If she was on the depo shot before she was starting to make the air, sometimes there's some dryness and some stiffness and things aren't quite as supple. When the estrogen comes in, things actually are better for her. But they might be a little more easily to sort of move around and take things in. And suckle air and it's not a bad thing, right?
33:43🔗
Oh, no, no, no, no, it's it's not.
33:56🔗
I have no idea.
33:58🔗
Caller
But it happened before with a girl that I was with beforehand. It didn't happen. And then it started to happen after after a little bit.
34:13🔗
Drew
And you want to tell us about what you do with these women that changes the pattern of high sex that results in this? What don't you do with these women as you get more comfortable with things that are happening that weren't happening before that causes the air to go in? Let's talk about this for just a quick second. All it is is forced in air. It's piston pressure air coming in, right? Or sometimes sucking in as a result of a vacuum-like effect. And no one's more mortified than the poor women that do this. Right? And for guys, why don't you guys give the point of view of a young male when this happens? I'm going to go right down the line here.
34:57🔗
Caller
It's funny. It's like when you're having sex and like your bellies touch and it makes a sound. It's just funny. It's levity.
35:06🔗
Drew
Just happens. Is there any sort of sense of accomplishment with it? Like even a little, little added benefit above it just being funny? Like, hey, we did, we produced something.
35:18🔗
Drew
Guys kind of, don't young males sort of like producing something? You know what I mean? They're like, oh, we did that.
35:30🔗
Drew
If only my friends could have heard it. That's right. All right. So there's more than just that guys do not, I don't want to put words in a young male's mouth, but men, no problem.
35:52🔗
Caller
If they act awkward, that's when you're kind of like, you don't want to like laugh at them. I think if she laughs, then that way everyone knows it's funny.
35:58🔗
Drew
I'd like to hear from some women how they feel about this too, how they're going to feel if men laugh and they're not wanting to laugh and how men should, what's the etiquette for this? What's the etiquette? No, I'm curious. I'm actually curious.
36:11🔗
Drew
Well, maybe not. Women are more evolved generally, so I expect we're going to get something sort of interesting from that. Let's hear what they have to say. But while we're waiting for those calls, we're going to hear a song from the All American Rejects, and it's called Move Along. All American Rejects, Nick, Mike, and Chris are here with us in studio. We're going to take a little break and return and talk all about, with The All American Rejects, talk all about air pockets of various kinds. So stay tuned.
40:45🔗
Drew
All American Rejects in here on Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. And Chris Gaylor, the drummer, was just regaling me with the stories of trauma in his life. How the hell did you become a drummer? You'd never hand for half your life.
41:05🔗
Caller
Yeah, I took a year and a half off, and then I missed it so much, I came back and started playing like four hours a day.
41:14🔗
Caller
I used to have an iguana, and I was cleaning out my aquarium one day, and lousy timing, my mom created a tripwire with our garden hose. I fell over it with the aquarium in my hand, and it landed on my hand and cut it off, I guess, right where the thumb starts.
41:43🔗
Drew
And this story came to us only because he was describing how when he was younger still, cat scratched his eyeball and opened the globe up so the vitreous poured out. That story came upon us because he was looking at the penis reconstruction pictures in the textbook I pulled out for him. Oh, wow. So with that, let's go talk about air pockets. This is Kara, who's 21. Kara?
42:07🔗
Caller
Hi, okay. I'm calling. It's kind of funny how you went to break saying that you're going to talk about air sacs, which is actually what I'm going to ask you about. That one caller called me and had to call in the air bubble thing.
42:19🔗
Caller
Okay. Well, I've gotten it so many times, but I get it when I don't come. I've never asked anyone on the Internet, which is of course the worst thing you can do, but that just freaks you out. But I've never known why. And when I get it, it's really painful. And almost sometimes if it's really big, you can't walk and it goes away in one to two days.
42:41🔗
Drew
And so when you have an orgasm, it pushes the air back out, you actually feel the air coming out?
42:49🔗
How dare I?
42:56🔗
Caller
Well, when I don't get it coming, when I'm like about to and then I don't get to, then I always end up having it. It's painful and it hurts and it'd be like, you know, it's almost like two, sometimes there's three or, I mean, two or three of them and they're hard.
43:15🔗
Caller
Like, I don't know, I always call it a bubble. It looks like when you blow a piece of gum, like you blow a bubble and you hold it in your mouth, like that kind of a thing, like it just looks like you have four lips rather than two.
43:31🔗
The All American Rejects
That is exactly. You just gotta keep, you gotta just finish it off by yourself.
43:37🔗
Drew
Cara, that is exactly what this is. It's pelvic congestion from a lack of release. And so you literally, it's not air pockets, it's blood and lymphatic tissue, and that's what Blue Balls is. That's what I told, that's what I was thinking, but I don't know if you can hear me. So you need to sort of take care of yourself if you can't get anywhere with your partner.
44:04🔗
Caller
Yeah, but it's so tender and it's so sore that I can't even, sometimes I've gotten in and I had to stop because it's so painful. And then I can't walk.
44:17🔗
Drew
That's just swollen tissue, that's from excessive activity. That may not have anything to do with whether you're having an orgasm or not, that's just the fact that you're having excessive stimulation, excessive rubbing and friction, that sort of thing. And so things just swell up. And that definitely can, we have had that call three times tonight already. And that definitely something takes a couple of days to settle down by itself and warm baths and that kind of thing. Yeah, but you may want to get checked out when you're having one of those because believe it or not, vaginal infections and herpes can also predispose to that. So you want to be sure that there's not something that's getting stimulated by the sexual activity as well. Here's something, let's see. Oh, here we go, the scene of 20. Hey. Hey, what's going on?
44:58🔗
Caller
Nothing. I'm calling in response of the whole, you know, the whole queefing thing. Yeah.
45:06🔗
Nothing. Go ahead.
45:08🔗
Caller
Well, I just want to let you know, me being a girl with you guys all asking that question, the first time I did it, it was totally awkward. But after that, we just laughed at it. But the crazy thing about that is I can purposely do it.
45:30🔗
Drew
Well, Hattie, the question was how do men behave? How should men comport themselves when something like this happens?
45:53🔗
Yes.
45:58🔗
Drew
She's great at dinner parties, though. All right. Thanks, Christine. If you're called, All American Rejects in here. Nick, Mike and Chris, the phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. We got to take one more little break. Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191 in studio, The All American Rejects, Chris, Nick, and Mike. Hello. Tyson out with a pharyngeal or a laryngeal polyps. He's got vocal cord polyps, and I've seen pictures of them. Ann was so angry that the four of you weren't here. Your manager ran in with a picture of his laryngoscopy. And let me assure you, if that wasn't out of a textbook, that's a nasty looking polyps. So they had to postpone Pittsburgh, Montreal, and Toronto as a result, and he will be in full swing by Tuesday, when you were on the American Music Awards, Tuesday, November 22nd, ABC, 8 p.m. You guys have anything else to say?
47:24🔗
Drew
That's right. Anything else about queefs? We heard now that so far the consensus amongst women have been that we should be making light of it, enjoying.
47:45🔗
Drew
I don't think there is, there's be sort of vaginal air or something, nothing very technical about it.
48:05🔗
Drew
It's the, what's, you went, somebody out the window doing jumping jacks, making signs to you guys. We can't make sense of that. Sorry.
48:30🔗
Caller
Well, basically, Dr. Drew, my question is, about three weeks ago, I cheated on my girlfriend with one of my coworkers, a little more of a freaky type girl. My girl is real conservative, really like laid back. I got a prostate massage from her. Kind of a guy?
48:51🔗
Caller
Yeah. I had a really close friend of mine who used to tell me, you should do it all the time. I was like, whatever. Did you get? I want to deal with it.
49:03🔗
Caller
When she did it, now I kind of want to introduce it into my relationship that I have now. But at the same time, because of the way that I used to think prior to this, I kind of, I'm like, now do I, is that like homosexual tendencies?
49:21🔗
Drew
No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. However, I still wonder why you liked it. Anybody else? I'm not in, no.
49:29🔗
The All American Rejects
I went to high school with this guy who liked sticking a toothbrush up there while he jacked off. And he's, and you hung around with this guy, why? Okay, I think he's straight now.
49:42🔗
Drew
Yeah, it's not, it's nothing really to do with sexual orientation. I mean, just the fact that people like their sort of hinter parts stimulated. It's not, I mean, most gay men actually have mutual oral sex. They don't even involve that part of their body. People don't realize that. They people imagine, oh my god, men must be having anal. No, most gay men do not. And so the whole anal part of this is sort of a separate issue. So Jesse, it's something you like, and admittedly, you're a rare gentleman as such, but enjoy, and there's no reason you shouldn't feel like you should bring it up with your girlfriend. However, I think she's going to get kind of suspicious when you suddenly bring up this peculiar activity.
50:20🔗
Caller
Yeah. And that was kind of what I was thinking like. Kind of bringing that into play, but I didn't know because when my friend told me about it, I just immediately ran off out the mouth and was like, dude, you're gay, blah, blah, blah, blah.
50:34🔗
Caller
Yeah, but forget the gay part. It's just like, hey, it's just, for God sakes, that hurts.
50:39🔗
Drew
Don't even think about doing that for most men. Some guys like that, whatever. So you're one of the few and the rare and the fortunate? I don't know.
50:51🔗
Drew
Well, that's something that I always, you know, a lot of young males are sort of forcing anal sex on women. And what people aren't aware of, a lot of very few young people get to see what happens in the seventh, eighth, ninth decades of life. And let me assure you, that's a part of the body that normally, under the best of circumstances, gets lots of problems. It can be, you know, fissured and hemorrhoids, and it could even be prolapse. And that's what led to David and Greer uttering those famous words.
51:27🔗
Drew
Yeah, that's what led to that. And so, as such, people don't really sort of pay attention that they're biological, and these parts of their body can't have injury. And if you have pain back there, when people are manipulating those areas, that's your body telling you that's not a good idea. Now, yes, you can overcome some of the discomfort, you can learn to relax, this and that, but by and large, that pain is there to signal trouble. And the trouble tends to develop later, not necessarily right afterwards, but maybe even years down the line. And I worry about that. So let's go back to the air issues. Where did I see that? Oh no, we don't have them. We got a theme room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, you guys are the All American Rejects enjoying Queefs. Monica, 26.
52:10🔗
Hi, hi, I just have to add, I have to tell all the guys out there that it's because we're not turned on anymore. Like, I was with this guy for three years and like it was all good in the beginning and then after, you know, after with someone for the same old thing, whatever, even though you try new positions and stuff, it's like you're just dry down there. And so that's when the queefing happens. But when you're wet down there, it's all good. And like, you know, there's no queefing involved. But when you're dry.
52:37🔗
No, exactly. Like they need to get some KY or something.
52:42🔗
Dry down there. But like if it's all wet, then it's all good. There's no queefing involved. So that's my experience. Like every time that I would like have that problem, I would never, it would never hurt like the first caller said, it would never hurt me. So like she has something different. But like I just thought I had to add in mine. Like so I also.
52:59🔗
Drew
She had pain. She had pain because she had excessive sort of irritation and stimulation. The what you're saying is that if we start hearing that noise, but what I'm not sure.
53:09🔗
It would always come like afterwards, you know, it would come like after your after the sex is done.
53:19🔗
Well, it's still been during, but then like, and then if you put it back in, you know, but it's because you're dry. That's what the problem is.
53:30🔗
So it's because she's not turned on anymore.
53:32🔗
Drew
So basically, as opposed to laughing and sort of making light of this, they should become panicky and maybe tearful and really maybe run out of the room crying.
53:42🔗
I would laugh about it and then and then it would be like if he laughed about it, I would like be mad, you know, because that's embarrassing for us. But like if he was if he's like, no, it's OK, don't worry about it. So like to all the guys out there, let us laugh about it. But you don't laugh about it and let us know.
54:05🔗
Yeah.
54:09🔗
Nothing.
54:13🔗
Yeah.
54:19🔗
I used to.
54:23🔗
Yeah, my friend, like he's like one of my best friends for some reason. He wants to go out down on me when I'm on the period. And there's something really, really wrong with that. And I don't know what there's like.
54:35🔗
Drew
Hold on a second, is he that he wants to go down just wants to go down on you and you happen to be on your period? When I am or he's requesting that.
54:43🔗
Yeah, right.
54:49🔗
Drew
Thanks, Anderson. That's cool. How did this go down, so to speak, if you'll excuse the expression? How did this come about?
55:02🔗
Okay, we just hang out sometimes or whatever and I don't know, he's a little perv. So he was just like, yeah.
55:09🔗
Caller
Is he sitting three feet from you right now? Why you sound like you're cowering away from him?
55:17🔗
No, I was just talking to him, so I don't know if he's listening.
55:22🔗
Yeah, but like, he, I don't know, he's just like, are you on your period? I'm like, um, why?
55:30🔗
Like, what do you mean?
55:37🔗
Yeah.
55:44🔗
He's like 17.
55:51🔗
Because he's funny.
55:55🔗
What?
55:59🔗
Drew
How dare you? I'm so sure. Yeah, it is sexless. It's highly intimate and you can get STDs that way. And the fact that he wants to expose himself to blood borne pathogens, if you will, concerns me as well. He's 17. You're 14. Just a sort of bad situation. And you sound depressed. Why are you so depressed?
56:20🔗
Drew
And so some of the sexual behavior is really an attempt to sort of deal with depression oftentimes. Are you doing drugs, too?
56:31🔗
Drew
She used to do a lot of pot, now she's done. All right, Alyssa, what do you want from us? What can we do to help?
56:39🔗
Drew
Well, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you that you're hanging out with a guy that you're repulsed by? That's my question. So let's kind of get some more friends in your life. Get some more focus in school. Get some more activities that makes you feel good about yourself. Don't just hang out aimlessly with this guy that wants to have oral sex with you when you're menstruating. Katie. Keep having those periods. 23. Please do not stop that. Above all else, do not stop that. Katie, 23.
57:07🔗
Caller
I just recently got married. Me and my husband were trying to have a baby. Whenever he ejaculates inside of me, my body just kind of rejects it. It just comes straight out right after he does it.
57:30🔗
Drew
What do you think happens to every woman on earth when semen is inside the vagina? When she stands up, it comes out.
57:37🔗
Caller
Well, yeah, but I mean, it's when I'm laying down or even when we're in like, you know.
57:47🔗
Drew
Yeah, that is not so every ounce is not supposed to stay inside. All that's enough there is to cover the sperm, cover the cervix so it can begin to attach and get through. Pretty much all of the liquid comes back out. What did you think? That you have some sort of receptacle up there that captures everything?
58:04🔗
Caller
Well, I was just, you know, I just, I just thought that was a problem, you know, because I mean, I just wanted to make sure that it was getting up there so that I could.
58:18🔗
Drew
OK. There we go. Very good. You sure you want to have babies? It's a pretty, pretty heady endeavor.
58:31🔗
Drew
Yeah. Could you take care of a raccoon or a marmoset? I mean, could you really? I mean, think about it.
58:40🔗
Drew
I'm thinking goldfish would be a challenge. And by the way, it would have been for me at 23 too. And I was in medical school. They were way, no way. I wasn't trying to tour the world. Let's see what we're going to do. No, there's no way. All right, so let's go back to the air issue again. Anna 17.
58:58🔗
Hi, I heard you guys talking about the cleathing. And I do it too, but I only do it when I'm doing it doggy style. And it's always after, it's like never ever during.
59:15🔗
Exactly. I mean, it doesn't even matter if I'm dry or wet or whatever, it's always.
59:21🔗
It's the position.
59:22🔗
Drew
It's the guy you're into, right? It's the guy you're into, it's not the turned off, but the guy, it's just the position does that.
59:27🔗
Yeah.
59:29🔗
Drew
I want to congratulate you guys on creating a theme for tonight's show. Thank you so much for creating such a, again, another heady theme. But Annie, so one of the questions we had was, how should guys behave? How do you want your partners to sort of react to all this?
59:43🔗
Oh, I totally agree with the other girl that just called in. And don't laugh about it, because it is embarrassing.
59:51🔗
No, but just like say, oh, it's okay. It's okay. It's true, though.
1:00:12🔗
Drew
Yeah, I'm sorry how these guys are making you feel. This is exactly what you weren't looking for, right? And you don't want to tell your...
1:00:18🔗
Drew
No, it's fine. Oh, geez. All right. So, Anna, so don't laugh. Don't make light of it. Acknowledge it, but just go ahead and say, look, it's fine. It's natural. It's no big deal.
1:00:32🔗
Drew
And she's saying it doesn't have anything to do with whether she's into the guy or not into the guy. So let's go to Sam, who's 19. Sam.
1:00:39🔗
Caller
Hi. Yeah. Well, first I had a question, but I also wanted to say about the queefing.
1:00:54🔗
Drew
Give me your, first your question. All right, go ahead. Do whatever you're going to do.
1:00:58🔗
Caller
Okay. First, my question. I am 19 and my boyfriend is 23. And we went out and then we broke up, and then I went out with another guy, and then we got back together. Now, when we have sex, he never, he always masturbates afterwards. Like, we will have sex, I'll get my pleasure, and then he'll be like, okay, well, let's stop, you know? And then I'll like leave the other bathroom, I'll come back in and he'll be masturbating. Like every time he will, every time we have sex, he's always masturbating afterwards. And I don't...
1:01:44🔗
Caller
Sometimes it ranges to 10 minutes, sometimes it ranges to like 20 minutes. It just depends.
1:02:06🔗
Caller
Yeah. Yeah. And it's like he'll talk about how the sex is good. He'll tell his friends about how the sex is good. But yet when we do have sex, he never will come.
1:02:21🔗
Caller
It would be the first time we went out. It was kind of once in a while it happened, but now it happens every time. And I don't know if it's like my problem.
1:02:35🔗
Caller
Like I will try to go down on him afterwards. Like I'll notice that he's masturbating and he'll try to hide it from me or he'll try to be like, I'll try to do it for him and he won't let me.
1:02:53🔗
The All American Rejects
Personally, I know it's from the, it's the other way around. But, uh, I.
1:03:00🔗
Caller
Yeah. What is he telling his friends? Sex was so good, only had to masturbate for like five seconds. She left the room, dude.
1:03:06🔗
Drew
It was awesome. Well, there are those guys that have real difficulty having an orgasm around women, in particular with intercourse. Now those guys mostly, in my experience, will then be able to with oral sex. This guy is not that guy. And I'm always suspicious about those guys in terms of how they feel about women. Not that they're gay, but they're just not that comfortable being in close relationships. Is he one of these guys that sort of marches to his own drum?
1:03:34🔗
Drew
Is he one of these guys that sort of marches to his own beat? He's just not around a lot. He's sort of, you know, loner. Yeah.
1:03:42🔗
Drew
No, I know, but he's not like cozy and at home with you all the time. He's sort of out doing his own thing. Yeah.
1:03:48🔗
Caller
He'll act like he'll bring up the sex. Like during the day or we're out doing something, we'll like be, it's kind of like foreplay and like we can't wait to go have sex. Like he can't wait to have sex with me. And then when we do have sex, it's like I'm not pleasuring him.
1:04:04🔗
Drew
Well, the fact that he doesn't have an orgasm, although this is a... Most men, this is not the case, but for some men, it's not important that he have an orgasm during the intercourse. It's just important that they have it. He may prefer it. As some people have said, it's sex is good, it's just not the real thing. And they prefer actually what they can do for themselves. And so he's sort of used to masturbating, probably does that a lot. They may have difficulty having orgasm but the intercourse and there's some guys that still are like that. They still are satisfied with that combination. And that may just be him. Again, suspicious about those guys that really the real problem is that they're anxious in closeness. When they're really close in to somebody, they sort of feel anxious, they can't function very well. And I'm always suspicious about those guys. This is now, Dustin is 14.
1:04:53🔗
Caller
Nothing, like a few months ago, my brother tried to pierce his nipple and he started squeezing stuff out of it and then I tried and I can squeeze like a liquid out of it, too.
1:05:18🔗
Caller
No. He did it and then I was like wondering if I could do it, too, because like that was kind of weird to me. I'm like, yeah, whatever. And then I tried it and I can do it, too.
1:05:32🔗
Caller
So are you poking the hole and then squeezing? Like, are you just squeezing your nipple before poking?
1:05:52🔗
Drew
You know, he seems to have it because he had a piercing and it probably wasn't just milk that was coming out. It was other kinds of inflammatory fluids. In your case, you know, the fact that you're producing a fluid from your breast concerns me.
1:06:05🔗
Drew
No, not piercing. He's just squeezing? That's called galacturia then. And that can happen from stimulation, but usually that's a hormonal issue. Thyroid problems, pituitary tumors. And it can be nothing, but I would definitely look into it, Dustin. I would see a doctor about that and get a little bit of blood work done. Gentlemen, you've created an interesting thematic sort of trend on tonight's show. You're welcome. The All American Rejects, Nick, Mike, Chris in the studio tonight. We have a song we're going to hear by you guys. It's called Dirty Little Secret. Let's do it. That's Dirty Wheel of Secret, The All American Rejects, joining us in the studio tonight, Nick, Mike, Chris. Tyson out with polyps on his vocal cords. Legitimately, I've seen the pictures. And the phone number on Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Call in with your, what should we call the theme of tonight's show? Air? Your air problems?
1:10:01🔗
Drew
Or any other Loveline questions you might have, we're certainly willing to talk about those tonight. 1-800-LOVE-191. Give us a call. This is just a reminder that all callers 18 years of age and older who get on the air tonight will get a free DVD for the movie Havoc. All right, Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, The All American Rejects.
1:10:43🔗
Drew
There they are, Nick, Mike, and Chris, and they're here to help you out tonight, and man, they've created some strange themes in tonight's show. Kristy, 25.
1:10:55🔗
Caller
I have a question for you. My boyfriend, he has this problem lately, and I know it's kind of embarrassing to say, like, instead of going to the bathroom, like, he says he has to fart, you know, and he actually like ends up, you know, pooping in his pants. Yeah, we worked together, and this happened the other night, and like I didn't really like believe that he actually did. And so I told him to show me to make sure, you know, I thought he was just like, I, you guys think I'm playing, I'm not really. I work for a very high tech job, so I thought he was just playing around, and he pulled it out of the back of one of the trucks that we ride in, and I was like, what are you doing, you know? And I don't know if he like, you know, has maybe other intentions, like, you know, maybe like he's fooling around with a man or something, if that's what it is, or I, I, I mean, I'm curious. I don't know what to do, you know? I'm so confused.
1:12:01🔗
Drew
Most people when they have fecal incontinence do not assume that the individual has been having anal sex with men, they take them to a doctor to have a gastroenterological evaluation.
1:12:15🔗
Drew
Well, no, he's having such severe diarrhea that he's having fecal incontinence, right?
1:12:23🔗
Caller
I guess, that's what it can be. It's kind of embarrassing, you know, I want to bring it up.
1:12:31🔗
Drew
I'm just shocked that you would call Loveline, that you wouldn't take him to a doctor to see why.
1:12:36🔗
Caller
Well, I don't want to sit there and just like, you know, I don't want him to get mad at me or anything.
1:12:44🔗
Drew
I'm shocked that he doesn't go to a doctor. This is probably an infectious diarrhea or ulcerative colitis or Crohn's disease or something significant from, not unless he's 80 years old. Is he 85?
1:13:01🔗
Drew
Yeah, fecal incontinence is a normal thing as people age. If you're getting fecal incontinence in your early 20s, that's a gastroenterologic disorder or even a neurological disorder. That's something that needs evaluation by a gastroenterologist as soon as possible. My goodness. Kate 22.
1:13:20🔗
Caller
Hi, I am calling because I was wondering about, when I was a teenager maybe, let's say 17, 18 or so, I would lactate.
1:13:32🔗
Caller
Like I could cause lactation to occur and then it just kind of went away and I don't know what caused that to happen and I was wondering could I have been pregnant?
1:13:53🔗
Drew
Yeah. No, no, no. It's an interesting, I actually went online to look that very issue up whether or not there can be lactation as just part of normal development in adolescence, in teenage years. I could not come up with anything that suggested that. It was the same kinds of thing. All I could find was the same stuff I was suggesting to our last caller, that medication, thyroid condition, prolactin tumors, pregnancy. So pregnancy is certainly a possibility, but the other thing that can happen, and it's not that well understood for whom it will or why it might, but just irritation of the breast, stimulation of the breast is enough for some people to stimulate the breast milk to be produced.
1:14:26🔗
Caller
Really? Interesting. And I didn't hear what you said to the other caller about little bumps on the areola or something that you said.
1:14:38🔗
Caller
I heard one caller and he didn't hear the whole call. He was talking about being able to squeeze something out of his nipple.
1:14:44🔗
Drew
Yeah, that was his brother's who had been pierced, and he was able to do it for himself. And I said, look, medication, thyroid problems, prolactin issues, it needs to be evaluated by a doctor to make sure there's not something like that going on, okay?
1:15:02🔗
Drew
Well, sometimes that's sebum, because that's swollen sebaceous glands there, like toothpaste-y material, is that what comes out?
1:15:08🔗
Sure, sure, something like that.
1:15:11🔗
Drew
Duh. Duh. But yeah, that's sebum, but that's a little different than the actual clear milky stuff, which is liquid, which is milk. Let's see, this is now, let's take a real medical call. This is John 17.
1:15:25🔗
Hey, what's up?
1:15:27🔗
I was wondering that, okay, because I had this disease from my heart, it's called Wolf-Parkinson White Syndrome. And that's basically like I have like an extra tube in my heart, and blood will flow through the wrong way, and I get like heart attacks and fainting out, you know?
1:15:41🔗
Drew
No, no, no, no, no. You know what's called re-entrant tachycardia is what you have is a small little piece of muscle that jumps across from the lower part of heart to the top part. And so when your heart beats, rather than staying in the lower part, it goes back up to the top and it jumps back down again, so you get this rapid re-entrant rhythm. And usually these days, they'll go in and ablate that little piece. Did they go in and do that?
1:16:02🔗
Yeah, I see, as the thing is, I had surgery and everything, it was like-
1:16:06🔗
Six hour long surgery.
1:16:08🔗
After, like, it was, it happened like a year ago, too. So, it was cool and everything, but when I had sex and everything, like, okay, like, all the other times I had sex, I would, like, totally be out of breath and my heart would still feel like it's doing that and I would feel like I'm going to faint and come close to it, actually.
1:16:30🔗
No medication.
1:16:31🔗
Drew
Okay, well, you probably should be, A. B, you've got to tell your cardiologist this is happening when it's happening. I know it's embarrassing and maybe you don't want your folks in the room when you say it, but even if you call your doctor to tell them on your own, it's really important that they hear about this because oftentimes, not oftentimes, but not infrequently, there are other sort of reentrant pathways that show up that maybe they missed at the time of the surgery and that can be suppressed with medication. So it's really important. You know, well, Parkinson White can break down into real serious rhythm problems, right?
1:17:01🔗
Yeah. I've been going to the doctor before. I had this surgery. I've been going to the doctor regularly about this whole thing because I was born with this apparently.
1:17:10🔗
Drew
It's called WPW and it's not a big deal. It's treatable these days, but you're still having a reentrant rhythm, it sounds like, when you get in an extreme situation like sex and that needs to be kind of talked to your cardiologist about. This is Ethan, 22.
1:17:22🔗
Caller
Yeah, my girlfriend and I have been together for about four years and she and I are going to two separate schools right now and so she and I don't get to see each other only once a week and so we only get to have sex once a week. But we seem to have phone sex a lot more over during the rest of the time when we are unable to see each other and she and I have more enjoyment from the phone sex it seems to be than.
1:17:56🔗
Caller
You can imagine what you want maybe. It's like reading the penthouse scene of the columns.
1:18:05🔗
Drew
That's a little different though, isn't it? Because that for him is part of sex and he likes doing that. This is what Chris is saying that you'd rather imagine being with somebody else than the person you're actually with.
1:18:26🔗
Drew
Yeah, I wonder if this thing is kind of winding down. I mean, if you're at the point where phone sex, imaginary sex, fantasy sex is better than the real thing, you've got to wonder. People, when they get together in high school, really that's not meant to last a lifetime, as it were. Did you guys have girlfriends in high school?
1:18:46🔗
Drew
No, I understand, but I wonder if the rejects had... Had them. You did have them, right?
1:18:51🔗
Drew
But I mean, it wasn't as though that was something that lasted, or maybe you thought it was going to last forever at the time. No, no. Nick's like, oh, God, no. No, no, no. But the point is, even if you did, if you did cling to that relationship, the reality is you're glad when it doesn't last a lifetime. You barely know who you are at that point, right?
1:19:14🔗
The All American Rejects
Oh, I just think he likes masturbating more than having sex with this girl.
1:19:30🔗
Caller
It's wonderful. No issue. I mean, she and I have the normal relationship issues, but we get through them and we love each other. We deal with everything.
1:19:41🔗
Drew
Don't you wish you could date other people and sort of figure out, you know, you're in college, your whole college career is going to be spent with this one person. Don't you have any regrets with that?
1:20:19🔗
Drew
Are you guys both very restrained in person and you're able to sort of break it out a little bit when you're not in each other's presence?
1:20:27🔗
Caller
Maybe we... I don't know. We've just been trying different things recently, maybe like talking more during sex.
1:20:37🔗
Drew
This caller, this caller Ethan, has a moderately bogus quality to it, I must tell you.
1:20:50🔗
Caller
The question was originally, was it normal? And I hear that you guys don't take normal questions. So I changed that to asking whether or not is there something I can do to accentuate it better between my girlfriend and I.
1:21:02🔗
Drew
Well, let's answer, is it normal to like phone sex better than real sex? I don't think so.
1:21:12🔗
Drew
And how do you get more enjoyment out of a relationship that is winding down as we see it? You know, the fact that you need something more in the relationship is sort of suspicious, right? Isn't it? I mean, that's not, unless you guys are really getting bored and she's unwilling to do more experimentation, or there's something you'd like to do that she won't do, you just got to bring it up and try it. I'm a little baffled. There's really sort of no question here. I want to talk to Justin. He's 29. Justin, 29.
1:21:42🔗
Caller
You know, I'm one of those guys who kind of has to masturbate after intercourse with my best friend.
1:21:50🔗
Drew
Hold on a second. But isn't that the guy? Isn't Justin the guy I described? He's that guy, right? He's that guy. There's nothing wrong with him, but he's that guy. All right, Justin. So what's the question? What's the point?
1:22:15🔗
Drew
Yeah. And for me, suspicious really isn't the right word. It's more, I'm suspicious that you're the kind of person that has difficulty being in a close relationship. I don't mean suspicious in the sense that I think there's something wrong with you or that you make me feel paranoid or that you're dangerous. I just think that you tend to be kind of a loner, and you tend to have difficulty in closeness.
1:22:43🔗
Drew
There you go. That's all I'm saying. I'm not saying you're a bad person, because then I'm saying you're just that kind of person. That girl that we spoke to earlier who was having sex with a guy like you likes you, likes guys like you, and I'm sure there are tons of women that like the sort of alpha male loner type. But for you, I would be sort of suspicious that there's more satisfaction than you were able to derive from relationships. If you could learn to be more comfortable in closeness, your relationships would be better, and you wouldn't be so depressed.
1:23:17🔗
Caller
Yeah, well, you know, it happens a lot, and I am a lot, but I try to just forget about it. And then I've managed to find a girl who made me happy.
1:23:28🔗
Drew
Well, look, here's the deal. Closeness to other people, proximity of other minds, particularly people that we're passionately involved with, makes us happy, makes us healthy. It's a good thing. And if you can't tolerate that, it's suspicious. That's all I'm saying. And so it's all right. It's fine. Now you may, now the All American Rejects, however, are actually paranoid when they hear your voice, right?
1:24:00🔗
Drew
All American Rejects will be on the American Music Awards, Tuesday, November 22nd. That's ABC, 8 p.m. They've got the Rise of the Fall Tour. They'll be in Los Angeles on December 2nd. Let's get some other dates here. November 30th in Phoenix, December 3rd in San Diego, December 7th in Portland, 14th Kansas City, 16th New York, 17th Cincinnati, Chicago on the 18th. Look for their listing near you. They are with us tonight at 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll return after this.
1:24:59🔗
Drew
All American Rejects on Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. Just have a few more minutes to call and speak to these guys. Let's avoid some of the themes that have been weighing us down all evening.
1:25:21🔗
Drew
Or not. Michelle, do not listen to the radio. Turn your radio off. Listen on your telephone. Thank you. And go.
1:25:37🔗
How's it going?
1:25:39🔗
Not so much. I got a problem, guys. Hopefully you can help me out. I've been dating my girlfriend now for about six months and she's got a kid, but I'm not the father of it. The father kind of ran off on the kid and they haven't seen them in over a year now.
1:25:54🔗
The child's about two years old now. Well, he's actually almost three, so.
1:26:00🔗
But my question is, I've lost interest in the girl completely. I mean, we're on a friend basis, but it doesn't seem like anything more than that now. And I'm so attached to this kid now that I don't want to leave him. And I feel bad because he has no father whatsoever. And it's just like, I don't know what to do. I don't feel it's right to leave this kid considering he's really attached to me, and I'm really attached to him, and I have no clue what to do about the situation.
1:26:30🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, if he's not the father, I mean, you could still hang out with the kid if you weren't dating the girl, if you really wanted to.
1:26:38🔗
Probably not. I mean, she's kind of like...
1:26:40🔗
Drew
Well, that's it. Then you have your answer right there. No doubt she had no dad, and she has to make sure that she has to create that same circumstance for her kid.
1:26:49🔗
Yeah, that's basically what it is. Her dad ran off when she was like 12 years old, and basically never saw her again.
1:26:53🔗
Drew
Magic, magic, incredible how people do that. Magic. If you can... The problem, my concern, is that if, let's say, now she agrees to allow you to get involved deeply with the child, maybe she'll change her mind in a couple years, and that will have an even more traumatic effect on the child.
1:27:10🔗
Caller
Yeah, that's what I was worried about. I mean, like, the kid's almost at the point now where I'm almost a father figure for him, and I mean, I had a really good father when I was growing up, so I know, so you know, I don't want that kid to grow up without that, you know, almost the instinct that you get from a father, you know what I mean?
1:27:25🔗
Drew
I know. All you could do is dedicate yourself to the next 14 years to this child, that if you really want to make a difference in this child's life, the problem is you have no control, you have no rights with this child, and the mom, given that she is from such an abandonment, history of abandonment, is probably not going to allow this to happen. And unfortunately, that's what will prevail.
1:27:46🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, and she keeps, and like, every time, I think she kind of gets the sense, like, I'm going to break up with her, she brings a kid into it, and she's like, oh, you know, I'm so glad that he finally has a father figure, and it's like, it makes it, like, six times harder to break up with her when she does that, too, and that's, like, the worst part.
1:28:19🔗
Drew
You are a good dude. I appreciate it. The alternative is try to work it out with this girl and consider yourself a family now that you're in this deep and commit yourself.
1:28:33🔗
Drew
It doesn't seem like that's what you want to do and it doesn't seem like it's going to work out. It doesn't seem like this girl is going to allow it to work out. So, I don't know. It's really up to you. I don't think there's any, certainly no easy answer for this. The unfortunate, this is going to sound harsh. Reality is that you can't rescue everyone, if that makes sense, Gary. I'm not saying that you shouldn't try, but you're not specifically responsible. Being a rescuer isn't always the healthiest thing.
1:29:01🔗
Drew
When you rescue people, this is somewhat different situation, but people don't always need rescuing. That's not necessarily always a healthy impulse, though it is always a good thing to try to be a stable force in a child's life. If you can establish a relationship with a young person and sustain it over years, I don't care who that kid is, that's going to be a good thing. Moneca?
1:29:24🔗
Moneca.
1:29:26🔗
Yeah.
1:29:28🔗
It's Spanish. It's one of my nicknames. I've had it since I was 12.
1:29:35🔗
Yeah.
1:29:38🔗
I was wondering why I'm into bondage and way older guys.
1:29:48🔗
Like, when I was younger too, I was 15 with this guy that was 28 when I was 15. That's gross. Now I'm 18 and the guy I'm with is 27. Well, we'll be 27 this month. But same, like they're way older usually. Like this other one was 32.
1:30:10🔗
Like, I want like anything.
1:30:13🔗
Just not gag me, not blindfold me, and like those weird mask. I won't wear those. But I like to be handcuffed and tied and whipped and all that.
1:30:23🔗
Well, kind of, but not that much.
1:30:34🔗
Drew
I spent a lot of time on planes. All right, Moneka. So here's the deal. Most people that are into feeling powerless or being hurt during sex were made to feel powerless or injured as young children. And those experiences of terror in childhood become very arousing in adulthood. They become sexualized. So did something like that happen to you?
1:30:56🔗
Drew
All right, so that's why. You asked why? That's why. And unfortunately, well, unfortunately, though, that's kind of an acting out behavior then. And it tends to become a fetish and tends to distance yourself from your partners. It's not as though that makes you closer. People historically go, oh, just whatever you're into, just you're into weird stuff.
1:31:15🔗
Drew
Now you start going down a path and that becomes what sex is about rather than closeness.
1:31:19🔗
Caller
Well, yeah, that's how it is now. Like, I'd rather not be in a relationship. I'd just be friends with benefits, as you would say.
1:31:24🔗
Drew
Yeah, at 18, that's fine, but you might go so far down this path that it's hard to find your way back. So just kind of be careful. Just be careful.
1:31:56🔗
Drew
There you go. That would be an older guy. All right. So listen, All American Rejects. Thank you, Mieka. So it's because of your history. If you really want to do something about that, you can either A, kind of slow it down and try to have real relationships now, or B, get a little therapy. Trauma survivor therapy is often helpful for that sort of thing. Be careful for addiction that tends to rear its head in these situations. Nick, Mike, Chris, they are the All American Rejects. They have been helping you tonight with your excrement and air, gas, lactating, and fluid or air coming out of your body. They have been all about it tonight. We are going to take another break and we will be right back. Well, that about does it for Love Line and the All American Rejects. Thank you guys, you did a great job.
1:33:13🔗
Drew
No, you guys are great. Come on back any time, and we'll look for you on the road. And those of you that are, the city you guys are coming to, is there a way they can look this all up?
1:33:30🔗
Drew
The one and only Andy Dick, followed by Tom Arnold. So please join us then. Until then, this is Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:33:37🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. Opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, the sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Andy Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.