0:21🔗
Voiceover
Everybody, Loveline, indeed 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider with me again tonight. Yes, ready for more.
0:28🔗
Rob Schneider
And we've been sort of piecing you together as the week goes on. I've learned that you don't like women that have been touched by other males.
0:38🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. There was a little reference to sort of shaving last night that sounded a little interesting. And then there was all the issue with the prostate the night before. So a picture is emerging.
1:00🔗
Drew
Yeah, I actually took the day off. I was just so out of it yesterday. I felt it affected the show last night. I went to the Huntington Library.
1:16🔗
Rob Schneider
I mean, the Gutenberg Bible is sitting there. It's a lot of Audubon's original works, paintings sitting there.
1:29🔗
Rob Schneider
They have some of the letters from Lincoln and Washington, just crazy archives. And the Red Sea Scrolls were there for a long time.
1:34🔗
Drew
Well, yeah, I missed that. I want to touch some of that stuff, though. I'm going to see if I can throw my celebrity weight around.
1:40🔗
Drew
Let me touch that Bible there. How much does that work? No, it's a pretty remarkable place. The gardens are fantastic.
1:49🔗
Drew
Yeah, and I'm glad that they charge 15 bucks to get in, so I actually joined membership so that it's not... But 15 bucks, I like that because it keeps a riff-raff out.
1:58🔗
Rob Schneider
So people around the country know what this is. This is one of the great robber barons of all time.
2:04🔗
Drew
It really was. Basically, what the United States... This guy, Huntington, ran the Southern Pacific Railroad. He's one of the main guys, him and another guy. But basically, the government had to deal with him. If they paid for the railroad to be put in, which was a fortune, they would give him land on both sides. And so basically, they would manipulate and force towns along the way to give them stuff, pay them money, or whatever, or give them land or whatever, or just basically demand things from them. If they didn't get it, they would go around their town and turn them into a ghost town.
2:44🔗
Drew
So this guy was a real bastard thief, but he ended up doing something good with it, where what are you gonna do? You can't take it with you. So the last, I think, eight years before he died, he decided to make these fantastic botanical gardens.
2:55🔗
Rob Schneider
So in Sanrio, California, he built a library where some of the world's greatest original manuscripts lay, and then he set up a house, which ended up being an art museum.
3:05🔗
Drew
Yeah, with some nice pieces of art. I mean, it's a little aristocratic English for my taste. I don't really love it, but... Gainsborough, Lawrence, some nice pieces. He's got a Rodin in his smoking room sculpture. But yeah, I mean, he had decent taste, and his place is a little sterile for my taste, but what a great garden.
3:33🔗
Rob Schneider
A little more marijuana. You know, they have something there that like blossoms every 10 years or something that smells like S.
3:49🔗
Rob Schneider
And people line up to walk by and smell it. It smells like a giant pile of dog dew.
4:12🔗
Rob Schneider
And Farley did some films in there, too. They did in the Japanese gardens, that one where he was a ninja.
4:37🔗
Rob Schneider
Because she was sort of in between in her career and she came out and was sort of...
4:43🔗
Rob Schneider
Which is amazing, right? And was sort of diva-esque in how she presented herself and then sat down and then the Loveline call started coming and she just dug right in. Did not miss a beat. She just like, okay, here we go.
4:55🔗
Rob Schneider
No, but it was, it was, but it was honest. It was a real, it wasn't just, it wasn't flamboyant or anything. It's just like, okay, we got to dig in and ask these questions. Which is what we're going to do right now. This now is Sarah, who's 20.
5:07🔗
Hi.
5:22🔗
Rob Schneider
It's freezing. No, I have a girlfriend and we've been together for like off and on for like four months. I just got out of another serious relationship. And she's like very domineering.
5:44🔗
Rob Schneider
And what do you mean domineering? What do you mean domineering? What does that mean?
5:48🔗
Rob Schneider
Very dominatrix. She has her way with me. And I mean, I live her. I mean, because, you know, it feels good. And I'm like, hell, yeah, you know. And but then she gives me like a guilt trip like, and she's like, well, why do you let me do that? And are you weak and this and that? And I'm like, I don't understand.
6:07🔗
Rob Schneider
One of the things about being needing to be overpowering like that is sometimes you want to be on both sides of that coin.
6:14🔗
Rob Schneider
A person who does the overpowering also wants to be overpowered. And I wonder if she's trying to evoke something from you.
6:22🔗
Rob Schneider
Sometimes, not always, but I do see a lot of people that way. Are you up for that?
6:35🔗
Drew
Well, take your time. You got to build to that. You know, you don't want to do that right away. What fun would it be if you beat each other up on them?
6:45🔗
Rob Schneider
She like, when we're having sexual choke me and we have like leather straps and she'll strike it across my back a couple of times, the whole tying up and...
6:59🔗
Alright. Alright.
7:00🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, and she's like... She... I don't see her evoking it in any way. Because she keeps her clothes on at all times. I can't touch her.
7:17🔗
Drew
Okay. How long has this relationship been going on? And do you know this is a girl? It could be a guy.
7:21🔗
No, wait. It's a girl. It's a girl. Alright. Alright. Okay.
7:24🔗
Drew
Wait a minute. No, no, no. So you've never actually... How long has this... Have you been seeing this person?
7:30🔗
Drew
Four months. And in four months, when you fool around, she fools around and touches you, right?
7:36🔗
Drew
She touches you. You enjoy it. But she never allows you... What happens when you try to touch her?
7:44🔗
Rob Schneider
It doesn't... When you're not getting into this S&M stuff, isn't there a time when she wants to be touched?
7:50🔗
Rob Schneider
Like here recently, she started like pulling down her pants and like feeling like skin. I felt her skin, you know, but...
7:58🔗
Rob Schneider
During the whole ritual. But how about just in... When the sort of the referee blows the whistle and it's halftime, you know what I'm saying?
8:06🔗
Change sides. Let's go. Let's go, team.
8:14🔗
Rob Schneider
That sounds... I'm reading Rob's mind. It's bizarre. What did you say? It's kind of bizarre?
8:19🔗
Drew
It is bizarre. Let me just put a little button there. If this is a real call, which I think it is.
8:23🔗
Drew
I believe this too. I think, in my uneducated actor opinion... Now you know that I'm a professionally trained actor. Yes. I'm going to say that this woman that she's seeing is a lesbian who's had relationships with men and has affected her or has been abused and her sexuality is she's not allowed to letting herself be sexual.
8:51🔗
Drew
Well, no, no. I think her friend is gay, but I think her friend has had relationships with guys or been abused by a guy.
9:02🔗
Rob Schneider
How about that? How about the fact that she may have been abused or brutalized by men at some time and therefore sex, her being sexual is sort of scary for her.
9:14🔗
Bingo! From way downtown, from 30 feet, he shoots scars.
9:23🔗
Drew
So therefore, if she allowed herself to be sexual, she's going to identify that with that abuse or that...
9:36🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, it's the strange thing about the human being, right? That if something happens that traumatizes us, it sort of gets... it gets structured into our brain and we go forward reenacting that same behavior. So now here she is being the perpetrator on Sarah.
9:49🔗
Drew
Right. So basically, Sarah, what she's saying to you is, why are you... when she says, why are you allowing me to do that, she's basically saying to herself, why am I doing... why did I get allowed? Why did they... why did I allow that person to do it to me?
10:10🔗
Rob Schneider
I'm concerned about this relationship, but you seem happy for right now. You're 20.
10:16🔗
Drew
You need to find some really nice girl who likes you for you and wears lipstick and who also lets you beat her, okay? I think that's a good first call.
10:31🔗
Hi, how are you guys?
10:33🔗
Okay, so it's kind of a strange question, but I'm on birth control and I've been having sex with my boyfriend for four months.
10:42🔗
Yes, I'm sorry.
10:44🔗
It's just a really big difference, you know.
10:46🔗
What's that?
10:47🔗
It's just a really big difference without using them.
10:50🔗
Drew
Yeah, as long as you both are having, are monogamous in this relationship and you know that he doesn't have any, or you don't have any STDs, then it could be okay.
11:02🔗
I don't know about him, I hope not.
11:03🔗
Well, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
11:09🔗
Caller
No, I really know, I do know. We're monogamous and we've been together for like six months now, but my question is...
11:18🔗
Caller
My question is, every time he comes inside of me, like maybe like four or five minutes later, weird burning and I've been checked out, I don't have any STDs, I can't explain it by anything else, and I was reading something and it sounded like there's a potential allergy to semen, and I thought, that's really weird, who can be allergic to sperm, but I wanted to know if there is...
11:49🔗
Rob Schneider
So Jen, there are allergic reactions to sperm that sort of can impede the sperm's ability to get up into the cervix and the uterus and stuff, the sort of an immune attack, but the actual allergy that people talk about, meaning it's called a histamine reaction, where the histamine is released and causes swelling and burning, that kind of thing, from the exposure to semen is rather rare. Much more likely is that you're causing just some irritation from excessive activity.
12:13🔗
Drew
Well, I was thinking, are you having sex for four hours and then he does his business in you?
12:51🔗
Caller
Oh, no. It's more than that. I mean, we've been together for six months and we still have sex three to four times a week.
12:59🔗
Rob Schneider
No, no. If they're going that long, they shouldn't be having sex that long, which shouldn't be happening.
13:04🔗
Caller
The trick is it doesn't happen until... it doesn't burn at all until after he's done. It's fine the whole time.
13:09🔗
Rob Schneider
Right. That's right. But the semen is irritating slightly and it didn't cause some irritation from all the friction and now you put something in there and it burns.
13:20🔗
Drew
Well, let me ask you, what about wearing it going back to a condom or one of those expensive condoms?
13:25🔗
Rob Schneider
Or you can pull out, you can pull out or you can slow down a little bit on the actual intercourse part.
13:32🔗
Drew
Get one of those, I got an ask for it, Jen, get one of those tattoos just right above your back, right above the butt, give them some to aim more, and then no more burning.
13:49🔗
Drew
Yeah, yeah, something attractive. Something no one else has. Yeah, no one else has those. But anyway, I don't have an answer to that.
14:02🔗
Rob Schneider
And if you were just having had sex for five minutes and then this was happening, we'd be going down a different path. But 25, 30 minutes, that's plenty.
14:08🔗
Caller
Right. But even when it isn't that long, it still burns just as badly. And the burning doesn't hit until three or four minutes after we're done.
14:17🔗
Caller
Um, I don't know, five, ten minutes. And usually I just like jump in the shower and rinse myself off and try and get rid of the sting. So... But then I read something that said that you can do like a gradual, like getting used to semen allergies, like you can be exposed to it in large quantities or something.
14:35🔗
Caller
Wow. Oh, it's SoundTour. Well, it was on the Internet. Of course, you can't believe what you read on the Internet, but...
14:44🔗
Yeah, that's right.
14:45🔗
Drew
Well, all right. Well, you know what? Sounds like you got it all under control there, Jeff.
14:50🔗
Rob Schneider
An allergy wouldn't get better with taking a shower either. But hot water does to reduce irritation. Okay? Okay. Thank you. I wouldn't be so unclear. I mean, it's possible, but I wouldn't be going down that path, especially.
15:13🔗
Drew
If I was having sex with a girl and I was burning... I'm sorry. That relationship is over. Get out of the house. You're never doing that again.
15:20🔗
Rob Schneider
If any of your friends had delivered a baby, your male friends, would the species go forward? No.
15:27🔗
Drew
We'd have no problems. You know what? If my pee hole felt like it was getting swabbed from having sex with a particular person, that relationship is over. I don't know how Jen can put up with that. It's just a simple thing. Guys will not put up with that. Women continue to put up.
15:45🔗
Drew
It feels better for him. So I'm going to let him hit me over the head with that. What's up?
15:53🔗
Rob Schneider
Hi Dr. Drew. I love you. You've helped me through so much stuff in my life. It isn't even funny.
16:34🔗
Towards each other.
16:51🔗
Rob Schneider
No. When I was 14, I hung out with some people that really weren't the best people to be around.
17:25🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, like, and I've had such a horrible bunch of junk, like, piled on my plate.
17:32🔗
Rob Schneider
And I've always taken, like, a trupe up. But now, I'm a senior in high school. I'm doing great. I passed my MCAT. I'm taking my ACT.
17:42🔗
Rob Schneider
MCATS. That's our, okay, yeah, okay. We have to take the graduate from high school.
17:50🔗
That's good.
17:56🔗
Rob Schneider
I passed my MCAT, and I'm taking my ACT, and I'm applying for college, and I have a wonderful boyfriend. But just it, right now, I feel like everything is falling apart.
18:06🔗
Rob Schneider
Like nothing's going to hold together, and everything's going to fall off underneath me.
18:09🔗
Rob Schneider
That is a very common feeling when you've been through this kind of chaos much of your life. Not only are you at risk for depression, not only will you probably have sort of post-traumatic stress type symptoms, but just inside you feel very fragile and fragmented. And when you're taken on a lot, it feels like you're barely holding it together.
18:26🔗
Drew
Sky, I felt exactly the same thing when I finished Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo. I felt, what's going to happen now?
18:33🔗
Where am I going to get my marijuana?
18:35🔗
Drew
How am I going to leave all illegal prostitution? I mean, I don't, so I know exactly what you're going through, Sky. You just have to suck it up. No, well, I mean, but you are, the thing is, sometimes you can't take it a day at a time or whatever. All you can do is just be present and just, you know, you're doing good. I can hear it in your voice. You're excited about the ACT. It seems like you're excited about this guy you have in your life. So what do you, what do you depress about what you think? How is it going to fall apart in your eyes?
19:06🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't know. It's just everything is always, it's going good for a while and then everything's got kind of up underneath me and I guess...
19:22🔗
Rob Schneider
That is somebody that you should learn to lean on and take these feelings to. And because really what this ultimately is, is internal turmoil. You feel fragile and you are in fact very sort of fragmented inside. And so holding together a big apparatus on the outside feels overwhelming. Okay.
19:39🔗
Drew
Now, obviously, you know, you know, Dr. Drew, I'm a professional actor. Yeah. So I know what I'm talking about for mental health. Yes. So here's the situation. Go ahead.
19:51🔗
Drew
Here's the deal. There's some trauma. I admit that. Now, here's what I'm thinking was Sky from Massachusetts. She's had this bad experience that did happen to her. I mean, the bottom did get dropped out from under her. She ended up going foster care. And so in the back of her mind, she's thinking that it's A, going to happen again or she'll just have the feeling it's happening when it's not happening.
20:10🔗
Rob Schneider
There is that tendency to sort of expect the future to present itself. But the real issue here is when she was growing up, she didn't get what she needed to develop regulatory flexible systems so she can feel okay moment to moment. People that go through these kinds of histories can't regulate their feelings. So she needs to rebuild that whole system.
20:28🔗
Drew
So she's got this thing where sometimes it could be great and then the next minute she's depressed and she can't get back to that feeling. She doesn't have control over it. That's interesting.
20:36🔗
Rob Schneider
Exactly. They get stuck in the duration and intensity of bad feelings are excessive, they're prolonged, and it makes people feel incompetent and then their self-esteem drops. And they literally should, well that's what therapy would do for her, just sitting there letting that person help you. You literally, Sky, would use your therapist brain as something to help heal your own and regulate your own.
20:58🔗
Rob Schneider
And real quickly, one more call with Danielle here, 17. This is specifically for Rob. Go ahead, Danielle.
21:08🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, when I go in the shower, I have the urge to like go under the faucet and like, I don't know, just have it.
21:21🔗
Rob Schneider
This is really tempting. And when I do that, it feels really good. And for some reason, I'm just wondering why it feels better than sex.
21:55🔗
Drew
All right, okay, first of all, Danielle, if you're sleeping with guys your age, yeah, honestly, getting hit on the head with a soccer ball isn't gonna feel better than most of your sexual experiences because they don't know what they're doing. They're idiots at your age. So, of course, the shower is gonna feel good. It lasts longer. It can actually stay in one area without moving around. It isn't so selfish trying to please itself. So it makes perfect sense at that showerhead. What's the name of the showerhead so we can give it some publicity? Is it a regular showerhead? Is it something you got at Costco or?
22:25🔗
Rob Schneider
It's not the showerhead. It's the faucet. She likes to put, see, the spigot. The what? The spigot. She had the bathtub. Yeah, that's a good one.
22:31🔗
Drew
Oh, yeah, no, no, no. That's good. There's some good force there. You should feel good about that.
22:36🔗
Rob Schneider
It's fine. It's healthy. It's good. But the question here becomes, if sex is so unsatisfying to you, why all these different partners? Yeah. Yeah.
22:49🔗
Rob Schneider
You'd rather be with the shower head, yet you keep going on with all these. Yeah.
22:58🔗
Um, sometimes.
23:01🔗
Drew
Well, then you're on your way. Well, why is that? What are you thinking about? Why are you having unprotected sex?
23:10🔗
Um, I don't know.
23:19🔗
Rob Schneider
Why don't you pack condoms? Why don't you keep them with you? A. And B. Why all the different guys if it's so unsatisfying?
23:36🔗
Drew
Yeah, I mean, how long do you go out with this guy until you have sex with him? Is it the first date?
23:48🔗
Rob Schneider
I think the shortest amount of time before I've had sex with someone was probably about a month.
23:54🔗
Drew
All right, well, that sounds a little better. There's a tad bit of self-esteem creeping its way into your system.
23:59🔗
Rob Schneider
By the way, one of the great ironies of humans is that women with very low self-esteem have sex with lots of guys. You know, guys with very high self-esteem have sex with lots of girls.
24:11🔗
Drew
I love that. Well, you know what, though? I still don't understand in this day and age the thing about the condoms.
24:18🔗
Drew
I don't understand. It's hard, huh? Listen, you know what we're going to do, Danielle? You should get like, let your left armpit hair really grow really long, and then I want you to get a needle and thread, and I want you to take like a six-pack of condoms, a six-pack, and just sew them into your armpit hair. So you'll always have it there. You'll always have it.
24:39🔗
Rob Schneider
And here's the deal, though, is that she needs to really think about all these different partners, she needs to be practicing safe sex.
24:45🔗
Drew
Or have a relationship. I mean, it seems like even a month. Go out to a movie, go do something, there's more to life than...
24:54🔗
Rob Schneider
And greed, and in the meantime, stick with that spigot, forget about the guy, it's much more satisfying.
25:00🔗
Drew
You're on to something there, stick with the spigot, and just try to have a relationship with that guy without banging him, just for two months. Let's mix it up.
25:08🔗
Rob Schneider
That voice, the gentleman advising that young 17-year-old not to bang guys is Rob Schneider. He is Deuce Bigelow, European Jigglelope, out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. You guys know him from 8 Crazy Nights, Waterboy, Big Daddy, Little Nicky, Hot Chick, Deuce Bigelow's, Mr. D's, it keeps going on Saturday Night Live, of course, and up next, Bench Warmers, which tested very well yesterday.
25:30🔗
Rob Schneider
I'm looking forward to that. So we're going to take a little break here. I'll be back with Rob Schneider after this. Excuse me.
25:48🔗
Rob Schneider
Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. And just to recap here, Rob Schneider is in the studio, and we've learned prostate massage is good, condom is good, excess body hair bad, other men having touched any females bad, a pretty good sense of trauma, when you're traumatized, what happens.
26:09🔗
Drew
I'm kind of into it. You're kind of into it. Water faucet, water spigot, or whatever it is, good, very good.
26:20🔗
Rob Schneider
Talked her off the air, got that straightened out, it's good. I thought it was Speakman. Shane, 26, Shane.
26:38🔗
Hey, how's it going?
26:46🔗
Rob Schneider
Managing to miss some of those tornadoes that ripped through the Midwest yesterday.
26:59🔗
All right.
27:00🔗
Caller
I don't know if it's just because I'm insecure or what the deal is, but everybody I ever date, I even to a point of being paranoid, I think I'm getting cheated on all the time.
27:12🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, every girl I have dated, except for the one I'm dating now, and one girl I dated in the past has cheated on me. I mean, I was married for four years.
27:20🔗
Drew
Well, give this one time. I mean, it's early in the relationship. It's early in it. You know what I mean? I mean, you got to get her to introduce her to some hotter guys, some hotter guy friends of yours. Did you want her to cheat or I'm sorry, I wasn't getting where you're going with this.
27:34🔗
Caller
No, I, it's like in just paranoia in the back of my mind. I can't get rid of the thought that something's going on.
27:40🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, you start up by saying it was nearly to the point of paranoia, and now it's kind of looking like it is purely paranoia.
28:00🔗
Caller
Well, I had, it was kind of like a rebound girl after my divorce, and it lasted only about a month or two, but she was sleeping with one of my best friends.
28:09🔗
Caller
And when I'd been married, I've got two kids with my ex-wife, and she told me that there was a point where she wasn't even sure the first one was mine.
28:25🔗
Drew
Okay, well, stop that way. Okay, look, Jason's got this thing now. I got a theory about this, Dr. Drew. Now, if I'm attracted to the same kind of women, the same... You do? Yeah, I find myself like a certain...
28:39🔗
Drew
.common... Well, no, no, no, no, not the same as him. I'm saying the same kind of women.
28:43🔗
Drew
Yeah, I find myself, I can actually hear the voice of a woman I'm with that sounds just like the woman I dated 10 years ago.
28:52🔗
Drew
Yeah, maybe, but there's some things though that like if you put me in a room with 100 women, I will find the woman that has the same problems as the girls I've had that I like. So, I mean, Jason, you are attracted to these women who are messed up and you're getting something out of this or this is what you're used to. That's what you seek out.
29:14🔗
Rob Schneider
You are the only thing that is the constant. And if you're ending up in the same situations with the same kind of people, with the same kind of outcome, it's because of you.
29:22🔗
Drew
It's your behavior or something. You're looking for this. I mean, if you found a girl who probably wouldn't cheat on you, you probably wouldn't go out with her. I'm not going to go out with her. I don't know if she's going to cheat on me. You're either going to sleep with my best friend or you're out of here.
29:52🔗
Rob Schneider
You like to take care, you like to co-dependency, you like to take care of folks, that kind of thing.
29:55🔗
Rob Schneider
But now you like to be entertained by somebody who's like entertaining to be around?
30:04🔗
Rob Schneider
How do you know when you found that, what is it, what do you feel, do you have any sense of what they're feeling?
30:19🔗
Drew
I'm wired that way. I just, I prefer to be in a healthy relationship, to be honest with you. Somebody, you know, but it's just-
30:27🔗
Drew
Yeah, but however, you're attracted to who you're attracted to, but the only way to change your behavior is to change your behavior.
30:47🔗
Rob Schneider
No, you're absolutely right. And here's the deal, Jason. One sort of clue that I think people can actually manage is you're going for women that do flip your cookie. The stuff that you find very exciting, guess what happens to be the women that also cheat. So what you got to do is go for sort of what Jason likes light. Yeah, not quite so exciting, but they'll still be some of those same elements.
31:08🔗
Drew
You gotta be a girl who you wouldn't look at twice because the chances are she'd be loyal to you, okay? And she wouldn't sleep with your best friend while you were in your pickup truck trying to see if your radio was working.
31:23🔗
Drew
However, yeah, I mean, I just put this in the category of take care of yourself, make your own life better. You got two kids to worry about. Worry about them instead of, you know, and make your life better and then hopefully you'll attract somebody better in your life. I don't know.
31:52🔗
Rob Schneider
You're welcome. My issue is all my godfathers think I'm insane. I've always had a reputation, I would say, of being sexually open as far as, like, all the girls I've been with previously. I've had threesomes and I've always been okay with that. The girl I'm with now...
32:15🔗
Drew
Unless the threesome is including one as a St. Bernard, another one's a guy, and one's a turtle.
32:22🔗
You're open, man.
32:26🔗
You're too open.
32:34🔗
Rob Schneider
.for two years, and I'm really, really into her. She was... When we started dating, she was really modest and quiet, and...
32:45🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, I kind of changed her a little. I opened her up to being, you know, talk... She wasn't a real talker or anything, and I've always been real aggressive with that. Not aggressive, but really into talking and fantasy, and, you know, be open and don't worry about it. Just say what you think. So I opened her up to that, and she really got into it. Well, now, she's kind of... I'm in love with the girl. I've asked her to marry me. I want to marry her.
33:10🔗
Drew
You sound like you guys are going to have a great relationship. I just got... I got great feelings for you guys.
33:37🔗
Drew
Okay. She wants... That's not what you want, though, right? You want a pile of ants and a St. Bernard.
33:43🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't want it, but I think it's going to cause problems with her after it happens.
33:52🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, yeah, but that's what she said. Well, why would you do it with him when you won't do it with me? The thing is, I didn't love those girls. I was just there for, you know, while I was there.
34:04🔗
Rob Schneider
And realize that probably those relationships weren't going to work out in the first place, but certainly having the threesome didn't make things better, did it?
34:26🔗
Rob Schneider
I think I'll calm down a little bit, and I'm ready to settle down and be married, and I don't want my wife.
34:30🔗
Rob Schneider
All right, Shane, here's the deal. Your instinct is excellent. Do not do this with this woman. However, what is her family of origin? What was her childhood like? A lot of chaos?
34:40🔗
Rob Schneider
From what I can understand, from what I see of it, her family seems pretty normal.
34:45🔗
Rob Schneider
All right, I would just examine carefully what it was that's causing her to ask for this threesome. Does she want to sabotage? Does she want to carry on this relationship?
34:55🔗
Drew
No, it's all he ever talks about. Yeah, she wants to participate. She wants to please him, and she's all about pleasing him.
35:01🔗
Rob Schneider
Such a bad instinct, though. Shane, your understanding of what this will do, your relationship is keen, it's good, it will ruin it. This is the woman you love, don't sacrifice the relationship to that. All right, this is Jamie, 21. Jamie, you're on the air. Jamie, LA. Here we go.
35:23🔗
Rob Schneider
Jamie, please turn the radio off. Greeners, you guys gotta tell them to turn the radio off.
35:34🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't know, I found something and it seems like a wart or something, but I can't tell what it was.
35:50🔗
Rob Schneider
Is that like herpes, like I found something and I never saw that before and then, I don't know, suddenly.
36:01🔗
Rob Schneider
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. It's like talking to Primitive Man here. Jamie, listen.
36:07🔗
Fire good, fire good, herpe bad, sore new spot, not seen before, where come from, strange spot, not wanted on genitalia, why spot start there? Me no like spot, spot itch and hurt, me paranoid about spot, me want spot go away.
36:32🔗
It doesn't itch, it doesn't hurt.
36:34🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, her listen carefully. Okay, Jamie, stop talking and just listen. Herpes look like ulcers or blisters, like a cold sore on your mouth.
36:42🔗
You ever burn your finger? Burn your finger?
36:45🔗
I never had one on my mouth or my finger or nothing.
36:47🔗
Rob Schneider
All right, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, don't stop talking. Just stop talking and just take it in. It's an ulcer or a blister that hurts and burns. That is not what you're describing. You're describing a wart. A wart is the most common virus of STDs amongst STDs. About 50% of people your age have this thing.
37:04🔗
50%?
37:05🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. But there's going to be a vaccine out for this for those of you that want to have sex with Jamie in the future.
37:10🔗
But it's too late for Jamie.
37:12🔗
Too late for Jamie because she's got it right now. She's got the wart. She's won the wart, the genital wart lottery. Jamie, you're a winner.
37:22🔗
What do we have for her? We have reoccurring warts to come in her future. We have it in her bloodstream for the rest of all her life.
37:27🔗
Rob Schneider
Some of them are forever and those are the ones that tend to be causing cervical cancer, but you need to go have a pap smear and take care of any precancerous lesions.
37:47🔗
Rob Schneider
No, but I've been with a friend for a year and a half and he has never had sex before. He's been with me.
37:56🔗
Rob Schneider
No, it could be. Jamie has had sex before. Jamie, you could have picked this up from one of the other guys and just it was a lot more fun to think that the guys had manifest until now. You need to go back and get this Jamie.
38:13🔗
Rob Schneider
I try to make an appointment and they're like, oh, we can't see you for a month and they don't call me for a confirmation.
38:23🔗
Drew
You're in LA. They got clinics. Just go down there. Try not to get killed when you're in the area.
38:37🔗
Word, word on weird, weird, weird. Me no like word. Me like fire. Me like food. Me no like warped primitive man getting an STD.
38:50🔗
Rob Schneider
Jamie, go see the doctor. Rob Schneider in here with us tonight. His litany of accomplishments. 50 first dates. Two Spigot European Jiggle coming out DVD.
39:00🔗
Drew
I just got the book and I've been carrying it with me and I literally haven't had I've just my book. You have to crack it.
39:09🔗
Drew
Okay. Now, now I love the last book. Now, but what is the the essence of the book? And what is it about putting broken lives together again? Can that work?
39:20🔗
Rob Schneider
Oh, yes, yes. But really what this is, it's a story about codependency. So you'll like it. You'll love it.
39:26🔗
Rob Schneider
And it's a story about fixing traumatized, broken women with addiction and what it feels like to try to do that when you're codependent. So it's a fictionalized story, but it's based on things that I see over and over and over over again in my practice.
39:41🔗
Fix me, Dr. Drew.
39:44🔗
I'm sure of that.
39:51🔗
Loveline will be back. Glad to hear it.
40:04🔗
Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider here on Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. He's coming into sharper and sharper focus with each day.
40:10🔗
Drew
I'm getting it. You know what, doctor, we just met some on commercial break, talking about getting over things, with things like, because you'll have the ups and downs in life. A normal person will have, I say normal person is relatively maladjusted like me. However, there are people out there that can get stuck, or they can't remember that, you know, they don't go back to that good time, or they're not allowed to, and they'll just wallow in this. And that's pretty common.
40:37🔗
Rob Schneider
It's pretty common. Again, if you've not had what you need growing up in order to build a flexible system that integrates and regulates in your brain, you get stuck. Your brain won't do it.
40:48🔗
Rob Schneider
To build it, and we build it. It's with very little attention is given to this in our culture, but it's built off of relationships with other people. Yeah. That's how our brains build. And so I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about relationships. Yeah. And sex in fact doesn't build, because sex you're just using those arousal mechanisms again, try to feel good in the moment. So let's, okay, I'm going to get to the top there. I'm going to refocus what I've learned about Rob. I've learned so much about him now. Also girls that are kind of codependency or poorly. Okay. Collie828.
41:18🔗
Hey, gentlemen. Rob, love you and the hot chick.
41:24🔗
Rob Schneider
I think I've told you, I've listened to it 37 times, because it plays in my kids, and I'm one driving the car and my kids play it behind me. And I love some of the stuff in that.
41:34🔗
Drew
Well, thank you. Tom Brady was his baby, and we just wrote it together. It was funny, but we were both kind of comfortable with... I mean, that's a risky part.
41:44🔗
Drew
Well, it is. You know, the idea of a guy who just has to convince people he's a girl, it was... I felt comfortable playing it. The one thing was great is whether critics liked it or hated it. Not one said they didn't believe me as a woman. So that to me was a gigantic artistic achievement.
42:00🔗
Thank you.
42:01🔗
Well, my question actually has to do with you. Like 10, 15 years ago, you're a working class stiff, you're getting into the industry in comedy and stuff, and you date a certain level of girl. Yeah. You know, for...
42:23🔗
Yeah, Rob, I, you know, I look just like you, you know, and I'm a fairly OK, good looking guy, or I'm cursed one of the two. But now that you become, you know, very successful, famous, the level of girl, you're getting, you're getting beautiful, stunning models wanting to spend time with you. How, what is that like?
42:45🔗
Rob Schneider
He really desperate, a desperate plea to tell him what it is like. Please, what is that like?
42:51🔗
Drew
I will email you some photos, so they're very nice. Well, I tell you, well, you know what, you know what, I will say that when you become famous, the women who wouldn't have anything to do with you suddenly are interested in you. It's just, you know, the thing is, if you want that.
43:06🔗
Rob Schneider
How do you feel about that, though? Doesn't feel a little bit ingenuine, disingenuine?
43:12🔗
Drew
Yeah, yeah, but then at the same time, I remember when I was breaking up with one of my old girlfriends, she said to me, Rob, women are only going to go out with you now because you're famous. And I went, yeah, and the problem is, right, I know me, I'm not enough just as me, I need to be famous. But when it comes to that.
43:30🔗
Rob Schneider
No, no, that's the way guys are. Guys are, well, if I can have sex, what difference does it make? As long as I get more and better sex, that's great.
43:35🔗
Drew
But honestly, from the women I really like the most, have not been like the absolute, like, hottest to me, is the women who have the best sense of humor. Because you cannot be, whether, I don't care, you know, my friend.
43:45🔗
Rob Schneider
But that wasn't his question. That wasn't what you like best, just what's it like to have your show?
43:49🔗
Drew
It's awesome, it's awesome. No, but you know, the thing is, let me tell you something, you don't have to be famous to get unbelievably hot women. And that's just a fact. You have to be a rock star. Yes, you have to be a rock star. But let me tell you, honestly, women, smart women, I'm talking smart, beautiful women, and there are a few of them out there, believe me, they're actually more than you think. They women, and Henry Miller says this, women have the ability to overlook this thing that men get hung up on beauty. And if you're a strong, artistic man that has a confidence about that, you're gonna get women you never thought you had. So if you're living your life, and if you're, and I mean this, I'm not just saying, you don't have to be famous, but if you are, if you're having an interesting life, it's gonna attract people, and you just, if that's something that you want. But at the end of the day, beauty gets old, man. And it's gonna, you're gonna want somebody that you can hang, you can only have sex for so long during the day, and then you're gonna have to hang out with the person. And that's the thing. So I mean, at the end of the day, yes, there's some really hot women that have totally, that you could not have gone out with ever when you were, absolutely nothing to do with me.
44:52🔗
Rob Schneider
But those aren't the people you're having relationships with is the point. They're not making you happy.
44:56🔗
Drew
Well, you know what, and also, honestly, supermodels all have problems. Let me just tell you, they all have the thing, whether it's, you know, they think they're, something's wrong with their belly button or something, it's an innie when they want an outie or whatever it is. Everybody has a problem. And my buddy, Max Breen, great prop guy, one of my best buddies, he said, show me the hottest supermodel in the world. I'll show you a guy who's sick of her crap. You know, everyone has their problem. It gets old or whatever. So it may look great on the outside, but it really is.
45:25🔗
Rob Schneider
We got to take yet another break. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. And we'll be back to recap what we've learned about Rob Schneider. Not everyone gets on the air.
45:57🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, the boys and girls' ages, that kind of thing. It's Loveline, 1-800-LLVE-191. That voice you hear is Rob Schneider. And Rob is coming into exquisite focus for us now. We're learning who Rob is. Yeah, yeah. We've learned that you don't like body hair. Don't like that. Don't like women that have been touched or played by other men, or any evidence of other men having been in the vicinity.
47:07🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, like, if it's, like, kind of little right now, it's not going to get any bigger.
47:11🔗
If they're 23.
47:18🔗
Rob Schneider
It's like an inch. No, like, three. Like, on a tape measure, it goes up to number three.
47:43🔗
What do you have a problem with that?
47:44🔗
Yeah.
47:46🔗
Drew
How's the girth on it? Come on, let's talk, Jackie. Is it thick enough for you? Does it please you?
48:02🔗
What's wrong with the middle finger? There's nothing wrong.
48:12🔗
Rob Schneider
How dare you? A little tiny middle finger. She said that that's big enough for anybody. Is that what you said, Rob?
48:25🔗
Rob Schneider
Again, I think I've learned a little something here about how the compensation for the middle finger goes.
48:36🔗
No.
48:40🔗
Rob Schneider
There is an operation for this. No. No, just so you know, I'm not recommending it.
48:46🔗
Rob Schneider
I agree with you. But I actually got scrubbed in on one of these surgeries. And what they do is they cut the tendon that holds the penis to the pubic bone. They have the guys wear a weight for a couple weeks after and it pulls it out about an inch. And then they pull the skin down and sew in basically cadaver tissue. Looks like a pop tart. Gives them another inch or so of girt.
49:04🔗
Jackie's not happy because the middle finger doesn't do it for.
49:20🔗
Rob Schneider
How about you just sort of avoid this guy a little bit and not be available for dates?
49:28🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, I don't think you should, nor should you really destroy this guy with continuing to think that he's sort of inadequate in so many ways.
49:34🔗
Drew
Let me just ask this. Jackie, do you make him feel bad about the size of his penis? You go, what is that? Where's the rest of it?
49:40🔗
Good Lord.
49:44🔗
Good gosh.
49:47🔗
No.
49:58🔗
Rob Schneider
But unfortunate that it has to be based on purely physical dimensions, but there you go. Heather 23.
50:24🔗
Drew
Your parents divorced? All right. When did that happen? How old were you when that happened?
50:32🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, when my mom was first divorced, I was two and a half. And then she remarried. Dad adopted me and they divorced when I was a freshman in high school.
50:48🔗
Drew
That would make you regress to being 14, sounding like a 14 year old. So what's going on?
50:53🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, okay, my, I've been dating a guy for a year and a half. We dated for a while, took a break. We've been dating consecutively for six months. And I am wondering why, I mean, you know, guys typically have a big sex drive. And I kind of feel neglected a little.
51:43🔗
Rob Schneider
That'll shut you down pretty good, Heather. That pot will really shut people down.
51:47🔗
Drew
Pot will change your, what's important in your life away from what really is important, is sex.
51:53🔗
Rob Schneider
It's true. They get that same sort of nurturance fuzzy feeling from the pot and they're not really interested in much else.
52:00🔗
Rob Schneider
Absolutely. It makes you depressed eventually and does lower the sex drive and really sort of, it shuts it down, really, as you're not interested in it because you're interested in what the pot does for you.
52:38🔗
From way downtown, Dr. Drew sinks it from 40 feet.
52:54🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, but that stuff gets set in cement in your brain. That's your sense of what you love and what you feel close to. And that's dad. And when you go out looking for dad again, that's your sense of what that is. That's locked into your brain. You have to kind of break that.
53:10🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't think I'm looking for that in him because he doesn't do coke or anything.
53:15🔗
Rob Schneider
Heather, if you weren't looking for that kind of thing, you wouldn't put up with this crap.
53:18🔗
Drew
Heather, he's the guy who only wants to have sex with you once a month. That's not normal. What do you like about him? Can I ask you that?
53:25🔗
Rob Schneider
Yes, everything. Everything else. What? He is athletic. He snowboards. I snowboard. We have so much in common. Politically, emotionally, our families are alike. We're both originally from the same state, which is not Colorado. I mean, just everything.
53:49🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. I don't know, Heather. You do what you do. I would urge you to look maybe...
53:57🔗
Rob Schneider
Here's the deal. You're going to ask him to stop smoking pot? He will not be able to. Yeah, with that little 12-step help.
54:03🔗
Rob Schneider
You can go to therapy and or 12-step codependency recovery. And maybe take a good look at this. You clearly want to be in this relationship. You clearly have a lot of things you derive that are of benefit.
54:21🔗
Drew
I mean, it's just you're perfect for each other from what I've heard. He smokes pot every day. You have sex once a month.
54:31🔗
Rob Schneider
I think a little talking cure might give you some perspective in what you're doing here. And maybe it's something that'll give you the opportunity to set limits with him to get him to stop smoking pot. So you can carry on normal sex life.
55:07🔗
Yeah.
55:10🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay. I've been with my boyfriend for about the past six months and everything sexually has been pretty good. Pretty amazing. I enjoy it. I love him very much. Well, about five days ago, he brings up this thing that he needs to have bacon in the room. Now, when we're sexually active and that's the only way that he can, I guess, climax orgasm. And I asked him why when we were talking about it, and all he was saying was about something about the smell. He doesn't eat it. He doesn't use it when we're having sex. He doesn't do anything like that.
55:50🔗
Drew
So you've been going out with him and everything was fine. All of a sudden he says, I can't have an orgasm anymore unless I have bacon in the room?
55:57🔗
Drew
I use that, wait a minute. Let me just push the blue button. I use that to break up with chicks.
56:01🔗
Drew
I have like, hey baby, I'm sorry. You know what? I can't have sex anymore unless there's a roasted pig at like 500 degrees in the living room while we're having sex and otherwise we're out of here.
56:18🔗
Drew
Unless, you know, we rodeo clowns specifically. Unless you burn your house down. I just can't have sex with you anymore. I just can't do it anymore. Now, I think he's trying to break up with you. This whole bacon. I like the choice of bacon.
56:35🔗
George Costanza, maybe.
56:38🔗
Drew
Is this interesting? So, Sarah, now he is it the bacon cooking or what is the bacon doing? Is it just a package of bacon?
56:58🔗
No, George Costanza.
57:04🔗
Well, no, in an episode George had to he wanted to eat while having sex because he liked them both so much.
57:09🔗
I see, I see.
57:13🔗
Rob Schneider
I said okay, but now that I'm not getting any more answers about it, I'm kind of freaked out and I just want to...
57:23🔗
Rob Schneider
I guess fine. It just smelled like bacon. I don't know. I just thought it was weird. I was weirded out.
57:40🔗
Drew
You know what? I think it's an interesting way to break up with you. I think he wants to get rid of you. And if the bacon, if that doesn't do it, he's going to come up with something else.
57:51🔗
I need your mom to be in the room, otherwise I can't have an orgasm.
57:55🔗
I need your mom to hold me while we're having sex. I need your grandpa to put his hand on my skirt. I need to wear a skirt and have your grandpa touching me, otherwise I can't do it with you anymore, Sarah.
58:11🔗
Rob Schneider
There are weird associations people get into, but you know, and what's weird is that they typically have trouble orgasming without those associations. Here's weird.
58:22🔗
There you go.
58:22🔗
Rob Schneider
That's weird. Agreed. Cole 14. Germany or Florida? Hold on, Cole. We got a theme song here, Anderson.
58:35🔗
Germany or Florida?
58:50🔗
Caller
I love your theme music. Okay. Police in blank got a complaint for loud and violent music at 2 a.m. Florida.
58:59🔗
Go ahead.
59:01🔗
Caller
When police arrived to the house, a suspicious man in all black saw the cop walking down the street and quickly turned around and quickly walked away. As the police went to the door, a man suddenly opened the door. As the police started to talk to the man, another man came to the door, holding a bag of pills and said, Are you the guys who's here for the kiddie porn? The men were arrested and the house contained hundreds of hours of child porn and crystal meth. Florida.
1:00:21🔗
Hi.
1:00:25🔗
I've had a lot of relationship problems in the past. And I'm having I just started in the relationship and it's going really great. And things have been like completely awesome. But I can't shake this feeling that stuff is going to screw up. Something's going to go wrong because it always has in the past. I mean, I'll feel completely awesome in the beginning. And then bam, it'll hit me.
1:00:45🔗
I've been going out with him about.
1:00:48🔗
Whoa, whoa, whoa, let me guess.
1:00:49🔗
I'll let you guess. I'll let you guess.
1:00:54🔗
Five days.
1:01:03🔗
Drew
Okay. All right, so Nyla. Yeah. Now, how many days into it? How many days into where you guys sleeping together?
1:01:12🔗
How many days into it?
1:01:16🔗
A month.
1:01:18🔗
Yeah.
1:01:19🔗
Drew
That's probably why this relationship is better than the other ones. Did you usually wait a month?
1:01:25🔗
The other ones, I didn't even sleep with them.
1:01:32🔗
Not my first sexual relationship either.
1:01:34🔗
Drew
Okay, wait a minute. No, no, no. This doesn't count. Okay, this is Nyla saying she's been screwed over by guys, but you cannot say you've been screwed over by a guy unless you screw the guy.
1:01:44🔗
Rob Schneider
This is one of the differences between men and women. Women look at intimacy, men look at the physical part. In other words, if the relationship has not been consummated, like for instance, did you see, you must have seen Adam Sandler's film Spanglish. Remember when he was, he found out she'd been cheating and he sat there in the bed going, did you sleep with him? Did you do it? Did you do it? For guys, that's the line in the sand. He either put his penis in you or he did not. We can tolerate just about everything else. Women, they don't care about that. They were like, did you love her? Did you love her? Were you saying sweet things to her? They don't care about the sex.
1:02:18🔗
Drew
I'm going to get your theory here. I'm going to push the button six. Now, Nyla, how did these guys, you said screw you over. How did they screw you over?
1:02:27🔗
Well, the first one, I was in a relationship with him for a month. Well, not a month, a year and a half actually.
1:02:36🔗
And I was raped and I told him that I cheated on him because I couldn't remember.
1:02:46🔗
I was raped by a co-worker.
1:02:52🔗
It was very fuzzy in my head and I told him. Why?
1:02:58🔗
Because I couldn't, I was having a hard time, like when I remembered it, I only remembered certain parts of it, just like little flashes.
1:03:06🔗
No, I wasn't loaded.
1:03:09🔗
I was not, I was not anything. I was, I shut down when it happened.
1:03:15🔗
Rob Schneider
All right, well that means you were, you'd been abused as a child, and that shutdown experience is something that could get indoctrinated into your brain very, very early. So what happened when you were little?
1:03:26🔗
My father was kind of alcoholic and I was abused a little, but I wasn't, I wasn't much. It stopped now, but...
1:03:32🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, it had to have been enough to give, teach you that whole shutdown experience, that whole, what we call dissociation.
1:03:39🔗
Rob Schneider
Right, and then because dad was so abusive and let you down so badly, you gotta go after those guys and get let down again.
1:03:47🔗
I did for a while, but I was kind of, I don't know, just didn't work out for me. I didn't trust the lady.
1:03:53🔗
Rob Schneider
All right, that's again, another very bad sign. That meant the fact that you can't trust people who are there just to help you.
1:03:59🔗
Drew
Well, she doesn't trust the person because you're not hearing what she wanted to hear.
1:04:02🔗
Rob Schneider
Shouldn't trust anybody is the point. Shouldn't trust anybody, shouldn't trust your boyfriend.
1:04:05🔗
Well, I felt like she was trying to turn me against my family.
1:04:08🔗
Drew
Well, maybe, you know what, let me tell you something. Well, let me push a button, the blue button here, so now I can shut the heck up. There is a time to not trust your family when they are abusive and dangerous to you. There is a reason, you know what, if your father has been abusive, and it sounds like you're thinking now that he's okay because he's not overtly abusive, yeah, yeah, but that abuse is still there, and there's like, you know, a therapist is a professional therapist is going to tell you things. Sometimes they can tell you not what you want to hear, but they'll tell you things. Say, listen, this isn't your, this behavior, this bad behavior that's happening to you that's ruining your life, if you continue to associate with these people to do the same behavior, you're going to ruin your life. And that's not what you wanted to hear. What did you want the therapist to say to you?
1:04:55🔗
I wanted, what I wanted was for me to actually be able to feel happy again and not to, like I was living in this point where I couldn't feel sad, but I couldn't feel happy either. It was a problem.
1:05:08🔗
Drew
Okay, all right, all right, I'm going to cut you off again, Naila. Naila, life is not about feeling happy. Life is about learning. Life is about, now, you're going to have to like, and life is about dealing with your problems. You need to deal with this problem and learn from this thing and move on to this, because what's happening is you're going to create more situations like this. Dr. Drew will talk, because I'm a professional actor, you know what I'm saying. You're going to create more situations and repeat the same behavior over and over and over again until you deal with this.
1:05:37🔗
Rob Schneider
In fact, I think when you do open more to what's actually going on in the home, I think you'll see what Dad perpetrated was actually quite a bit more than you're willing to admit right now. So we're going to take another break and just to recap, let's see, mother tough, prostate massage good, other men bad, co-dependency of interesting women good, supermodels bad, Spiekman showerhead is good, condoms good, small penis good, swinging the small penis around, thick small penis, swinging around like a giant penis good. Okay, with that, we'll take a break and be right back.
1:06:15🔗
Call 1-800-LOVE-191.
1:06:21🔗
Rob Schneider
1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider in here on Loveline. Let's see what else we learn about him by talking to Candice.
1:06:47🔗
Rob Schneider
Nothing much. I just have a question. A couple of years ago, I got stoned at a party.
1:06:57🔗
Drew
Well, she's from Arizona. It's a 78 kind of feel when you get honed. Stoned. Go on, Candice.
1:07:03🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, but I get really horny. I don't know why. I had sex with this girl and I wanted to know.
1:07:21🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, I had sex with this girl and I wanted to know if I was still a virgin or not because like now my boyfriend's asking and I don't know what to tell them.
1:07:34🔗
Drew
Yeah, he'll like that. No, honey, honey, honey. I've never been with a guy before. And say it like that and then see if he freaks out or not.
1:07:51🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, I don't know. I haven't been with a guy yet. So I wouldn't know every time I get the chance. I was like, wait, I don't know what would happen because I had sex with a girl.
1:08:06🔗
Rob Schneider
It was like, I guess we did everything you would consider except we didn't use any toys.
1:08:20🔗
Well, nice party.
1:08:27🔗
I got to get some of that pot. Boy, oh boy, I missed all the good parties.
1:08:38🔗
Drew
You can tell him you have not been penetrated by a guy. You don't have to tell him anything. What the heck difference does it make? You're not going to be with this guy for a long time.
1:08:47🔗
Drew
Yeah, but also just, you know what? It's not if his business, it's not necessarily considered lying if you don't have to tell him everything.
1:08:56🔗
Rob Schneider
But let's go through more mystery, less history. Let's go through this a little bit. Now, originally, virginity was a technicality for sort of passing economic goods along, that the woman would have to have a hymen and would have to prove it and blah, blah, blah.
1:09:10🔗
Drew
No, no, for not just passing goods along, but for like land. Yeah, if this woman, I want to make sure this is my seed going into this, and so that my, the family lineage can, the Cusprits in land will remain this part of Ireland forever. That's why we're going to make sure you're a virgin.
1:09:29🔗
Rob Schneider
So it was a technicality at first, and then it became sort of a reference to chastity. Right? So, and now it's going back to being a technicality again, where I have anal sex, I have oral sex, but no, no, no penis in the vagina. They haven't had that. And I don't know.
1:09:44🔗
Rob Schneider
I've had just the tip. Just the tip. I'm basically a virgin. I don't think he went in all the way. I think I'm still a virgin. Not 100% sure. I've had a girl tongue in every orifice, but I'm still kind of a lesbian virgin. I don't know. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't videotape it and put it on the internet. I'm still basically a virgin.
1:10:13🔗
Rob Schneider
She did enjoy it. How dare you, Rob Schneider? How dare you? But here's the deal. You, I mean, you could call yourself a virgin.
1:10:27🔗
Drew
You're still, you haven't had a guy's wee-wee in your thing thing, right? So you're still a VV.
1:10:34🔗
Drew
You're still a virgin, tell them you're a virgin. But if you tell them you've been with another-
1:10:39🔗
Drew
If you tell a 17-year-old guy you've been with another girl, he's going to find that hot and then when you go out with him, he's going to think you're a freak and get completely insecure about it. That's what you get when you date a 17-year-old guy. Next call.
1:10:55🔗
How are you doing, Adam?
1:10:57🔗
I am Dr. Drew Pinsky. Yeah.
1:11:06🔗
Caller
Well, my wife and I, before we got married, she could have an orgasm. And, you know, we did it for about two years.
1:11:19🔗
Drew
And that's why, that's why you got to videotape your sex. So that way, if you get married to her after she can't have an orgasm, you can rewind and go, honey, what happened to that?
1:11:37🔗
Caller
No, she can't and I listened to your show and I know that you said that you know, try some foreplay, you know, try some oral and maybe she's not good at it. I don't know.
1:12:10🔗
Drew
I'm going to ask you and I need you to answer this honestly. Usually when you're with her the first couple of days, when would you do oral?
1:12:21🔗
Drew
Okay, so that means never. Okay, you got to go back, you got to divide that in half and then divide it in half again.
1:12:26🔗
Rob Schneider
Yes. So no, he didn't. Magically, she couldn't have an orgasm with oral but magically could with intercourse.
1:12:35🔗
Drew
It's just not what women do. Women need to have other stimulation there, not just a guy plays himself.
1:12:47🔗
Drew
Okay, here's the deal. Cameron, she's got a thing called a clitoris. You should ask her to point it out to you, find that and then give it some attention with your mouth.
1:13:06🔗
Drew
So anyway, here's the deal. Here's the deal. You need to talk to your wife about how to please her. And you can do it by showing her where it is. Or hey, honey, why don't you touch it and say, do you like it on the side? Do you like it on top? Do you like a baseball bat hit to it? Do you want me to go in the other room, put on a clown mask and come back in? Do you want me to draw pictures for you while I'm touching you? Do you want me to touch you with my fingers, my toes? Do you want me to knee you in the crotch? You need to explain, work things out, talk to her.
1:13:34🔗
Rob Schneider
I think we have a tape of the Insane Clown Posse describing how they like themselves to be manipulated in a similar fashion. Anderson, can you oblige us that?
1:13:42🔗
You can caress the balls, you can gently pet them, you can stroke them, you can juggle them from side to side to side to hand to hand, but don't punch the ball!
1:13:55🔗
Drew
Do you know when your wife is down there and she's treating your genitalia like it's some sort of exercise equipment and it's causing you pain and you go, no, honey, don't do that, that hurts. You need to have her have that same kind of communication with you.
1:14:14🔗
Rob Schneider
She may not really understand what's going on here because she may be a little reserved, sort of ashamed that she's been cheating. Don't even get into cheating or not cheating, just get to work on focusing on what works for her.
1:14:23🔗
Drew
Cameron, let me just tell you this, you may have to go down there for more than five minutes. Let me just throw that at you.
1:14:42🔗
Hello?
1:14:45🔗
I'm driving home.
1:14:49🔗
Well, I was molested for two years when I was from four to six. And then I was in counseling for 10 years till I was 16. And I don't remember anything that happened. I don't remember going to court or testifying. I don't even, I mean, I don't-
1:15:05🔗
Drew
But this was a fact. I mean, it was, you did go to court and you did testify. Your family told you that, right?
1:15:10🔗
Yes.
1:15:18🔗
Rob Schneider
We really need to bring back, we need to bring back burning people in oil. I think that will stop some of this stuff.
1:15:32🔗
Caller
And I was wondering if because I went to counseling and I don't remember anything that happened, if that has to do with me not remembering some of my childhood memories.
1:15:49🔗
Drew
I don't remember a couple of crappy movies I made, but they're still in the video store.
1:15:55🔗
Drew
Angel, it happened. It's part of your experience. It's part of your life. It's there and it's there forever. And obviously, it's so traumatic that you had to block it out. So it's something now, but I still don't understand.
1:16:10🔗
Rob Schneider
I mean, you had to have years of therapy to deal with those movies of yours that are in the video store.
1:16:20🔗
Drew
I'm also trying to block them out. The people have seen them. Hang on. Which is very hard. So Angel, what exactly is your question?
1:16:26🔗
Caller
My question is if, because I blocked it all out is, I don't remember like, third grade, fourth grade, I, a lot of my childhood-
1:16:36🔗
Rob Schneider
It's very common for long periods of a childhood to be blocked, so to speak, when there was heavy duty trauma. And just forget the fact that you were sexually abused, then you had the trauma of the chaos and God knows how people reacted emotionally and then going to court. This is a lot for a child to process. In fact, when they look at brain scans of children that have been through a lot of trauma, you actually see shrinkages in the area of the brain that's responsible for memories.
1:17:06🔗
Rob Schneider
And although the memories have been, let's call it, dealt with, the reality is the abuse leaves an imprint in terms of how your brain develops. And as we talked earlier tonight, the main thing that sort of falls out of this is difficulty with feeling regulation, emotional regulation. Emotions that are too long, too intense, too negative. And it's hard for you to regulate yourself.
1:17:29🔗
Caller
It's good. I have, you know, a little bit of depression going on, but that, I think that's just, I don't know, I don't think that's related, but...
1:17:38🔗
Rob Schneider
And listen, the therapy you had may be the reason that you sort of process these things through while you're able to have relationships now, although chaotic, two kids and I get married, whatever. But you know, you sound okay and you don't sound, we don't give us the feeling that a trauma survivor normally does. But I would urge you, in terms of helping your kids out, it's a good idea when you've been through some heavy stuff to sort of be watched by a mental health professional.
1:17:58🔗
Drew
But let me ask you this though, Angel, do you want this therapy to block out these childhood memories?
1:18:03🔗
Caller
Oh no, I'm not in therapy now. I was, I did, I went to therapy due to the, because of the molestation, but I haven't been in therapy since I was 16.
1:18:13🔗
Drew
Let me tell you something, you should be in therapy now. You should, you know what, because you're still having to process some of this stuff, and especially now that you are still a single mom with two kids, I mean, I think any single parent should be in therapy, no matter what. Any parent, period.
1:18:33🔗
Rob Schneider
But I'll tell you what, Angel, just talking to you, it's clear that whatever mental health services you did have had a very beneficial effect on you. You really seem to be doing pretty well.
1:18:50🔗
Yeah, like Edie, I mean like Edie.
1:18:55🔗
Come on, you know how to me.
1:18:59🔗
Hi, this is my question. Okay, I have a boyfriend.
1:19:03🔗
And we have sex. Well, we have sex.
1:19:08🔗
Come on now.
1:19:10🔗
He asked me, he asked me.
1:19:13🔗
To strap on and, you know, pleasure.
1:19:19🔗
Amily. Now, I want to know, did that make him gay in any way? Gay curious? I mean, what's up? What's up with that?
1:19:27🔗
Of course, I did. Yeah, I did.
1:19:32🔗
Yeah, I did. I did think it was a little strange.
1:19:36🔗
Rob Schneider
I'm feeding you some kudos here. She's trying to make her man happy. At least she does it in such a way she doesn't have to bring anything on herself.
1:19:48🔗
No, he didn't actually bring it up anymore. I would say like 30 days, 40 days later, he was like, yeah, how do you think about that? What do you feel? What would you do again?
1:19:59🔗
I'm like, that's really kind of sick to me. So what do you think? I mean, does that make him curious?
1:20:06🔗
Drew
Did you ask him if he was gay? No, he never had a gay experience. Did you ask him that?
1:20:12🔗
No, of course not. Why not?
1:20:14🔗
Drew
Why not? You guys got to talk about these things. You say, listen, I'm allowed to ask you a certain question because you had me put on a strap on and entered you anally. I'm going to have to ask, are you gay? That's not an insane question for a guy you just entered with a strap on. Edie, come on, don't be so shy.
1:20:34🔗
No, no, no, wait a minute, wait a minute. I guess one of the main reasons why I didn't ask him, I know this is going to sound kind of weird.
1:20:41🔗
I was the first person he had sex with. I was the first person that performed oral sex on him.
1:20:49🔗
Right now he's about 34, probably 34, 35.
1:21:00🔗
When I did anal sex, I was probably two years ago.
1:21:07🔗
Exactly.
1:21:09🔗
I promise you on everything. I mean, you know, I'm not going to go into details because I don't, you know, I hope nobody's listening that I know or anything, but he's kind of overweight, you know, he was insecure, very insecure.
1:21:22🔗
No, never, ever, never been incarcerated in his life.
1:21:26🔗
Rob Schneider
So he's, I don't know how to interpret this, he's got issues, but whatever, you guys have a relationship that's going along?
1:21:38🔗
Furries. Furries.
1:21:44🔗
No, you didn't do it. I like to do it, or did he want me to...
1:21:51🔗
Stop it, no.
1:21:55🔗
Weirdo, are you? I did my research before I come here.
1:21:58🔗
Drew
No, I'm just saying. Okay, so you didn't ask him if he's gay curious? He's definitely gay curious. No, I love that you're asking that.
1:22:05🔗
I'm serious on everything because I'm thinking that I was the only one he was ever with in any kind of sexual way. I knew for, I'm telling you, I know for a fact he hasn't been with anybody.
1:22:15🔗
Drew
Okay, do you like this? Okay, what are you getting at in this relationship, Edie? I'm more worried about you than him. What do you like about this guy?
1:22:23🔗
Well, it's other things, you know, it's other things. It's just not sex, it's really not all about sex.
1:22:31🔗
Rob Schneider
All right, here's the deal, Edie, you don't know, maybe he was physically with sexual abuse growing up, and then he shut down for many, many years. You know, being overweight and stuff, sometimes people do that to keep people away.
1:22:50🔗
Rob Schneider
Sometimes it's more about aggression than it is about homosexuality, anything like that, and so maybe he was beaten and things to kid and this is sort of something else.
1:22:57🔗
Rob Schneider
Whatever. They have had a relationship. It's stable. It's going on. It's his first love. They're good. She sounds fine. Enjoy. Enjoy. Yeah.
1:23:06🔗
Rob Schneider
Brendan, 17. Oh, you know what, Brendan, are you there? Yeah. All right. What's the question? We got to take a break.
1:23:11🔗
All right. This is the first time we're calling. I'm a little nervous, but yeah, my girlfriend and I have been going out for six months, and she and I, I mean, the sex was great at first, but now, the more times we've done it, it's just the pleasure has decreased for me, but it's been great for-
1:23:36🔗
Rob Schneider
Just to recap, not in the supermodels, but in Showerhead, Condoms Good, Codependent to Interesting Women or how we say, Artistic Women, Entertaining Women, Other Men, Can't Have Touched, No Body Hair, Mother Tough, Prostate Massage God, Middle Finger, Thick Middle Finger Good, Swinging Around Like Something Aggressive, Sexual Female Good, Strap On No Good, and Don't Axe, Don't Tell. Okay, very good. Some more Loveline at 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.
1:24:03🔗
Yep, Loveline will be back.
1:24:05🔗
Glad to hear it.
1:24:08🔗
Rob Schneider
Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. He is Rob Schneider. And we are going back to Brandon. We have just a few minutes to sort of flush out our image of our, our characterization of Rob Schneider. Brandon, 17. So you're saying...
1:24:26🔗
What's that?
1:24:29🔗
Windsor, Ontario.
1:24:33🔗
She's American too.
1:25:22🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. Well, I'm really like... Like really, really, really uncomfortable around guys sometimes when like intimacy occurs. And yeah, like...
1:25:31🔗
Rob Schneider
You mean, but you're a virgin? You mean like making out that kind of intimacy?
1:25:36🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. No, I like that. But it's just like, you know, when it gets like more into it, it's like I want to. But then it's almost like I have this image in my mom's head, like in my head of my mom, like telling me like, no, like you're not supposed to do that. Like, you know, I was like raised, you know, to stay a virgin until I get married.
1:26:18🔗
Rob Schneider
Maybe you want to just kind of wait till you're out of high school until you've gotten away from your family.
1:26:24🔗
Drew
The idea of waiting for sex and your mom did a good job. I mean, your mom is just like, Don't do it.
1:26:30🔗
Rob Schneider
Imagine Rob's daughter, she sees an image of his head saying, Don't do it. Oh my God.
1:26:35🔗
Drew
That'll keep her from having sex. Hey, but now, are you dating a guy seriously or just nobody says?
1:26:42🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, I just got out of a relationship and I have a feeling that the reason we broke up is because he started getting more distant. When we'd get intimate, he would notice I would be really frustrated. I wouldn't really want to get into it too much. After six months, we broke up.
1:26:58🔗
Drew
Well, let me tell you, Sarah, six months, that guy's a saint. To hang in there for six months, knowing and to not get any, were you guys doing other things?
1:27:13🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, yeah, I guess. He was like my first, almost like, well, I had like an oral experience with him, but I didn't do it. He did. I didn't do anything.
1:27:26🔗
Rob Schneider
You need to figure out what your values are in relation to those with which you were raised. I would suggest you not try to really sort of barrel your way through in high school.
1:27:37🔗
Drew
Yeah, you can't be your mom. You can't be the sluts that you go to school with and recede it.
1:27:40🔗
Rob Schneider
But I would suggest that you focus on getting away, going to school, establishing an identity and sense of yourself away from your family origin and then see what you want to do.
1:27:50🔗
Drew
But think about going back to that guy who went down on you without getting anything in return.
1:27:54🔗
Drew
That's a pretty generous guy. No wonder he's frustrated and wants to hang himself right now.
1:28:02🔗
Rob Schneider
Good evening, doctor. Good evening, Schneider. Well, my question, I'll get to the point.
1:28:10🔗
Drew
A couple of years ago, I had this thing on me and I don't know where it went away. Now it's back and I don't know what I have worked in two years. What?
1:28:24🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. I'm not interested in sex. Nobody, no girls, no guys. People think I'm gay or something. But the point is I developed this little ball on the side of my down there.
1:28:50🔗
Rob Schneider
No, you have two. No, the doctor said it was a Hymen or something. And he like burned it off or something.
1:29:08🔗
Drew
You know, honestly, the Freeride didn't have enough, you know, get up and go for me. But it's a pretty nice vehicle. Check it out.
1:29:17🔗
Rob Schneider
It came, it's still there, actually. And every time I like, I'll have sex only when I want to. And then as soon as I orgasm, you know, I won't get interested. And I'll be like, it'll get off me, you know. Or my baby's dad.
1:29:34🔗
Rob Schneider
When a woman describes her partner as the baby's dad, it's a bad sign. But hey, what's the question?
1:29:38🔗
Rob Schneider
The question is, how come I'm not interested in sex anymore and what is that?
1:29:42🔗
Rob Schneider
Because you had a baby eight months ago. And when you had a baby, it significantly affects your sex drive, significantly. For that first year.
1:29:53🔗
Drew
And here's another thing. You should thank your lucky stars. You don't want... You're not interested. Because you're 18, you already got one.
1:30:02🔗
Rob Schneider
Just the hormonal shifts of having been pregnant drops the sex drive down. There's lots of depression postpartum very commonly that drops sex drive. If you're breastfeeding, it drops sex drive. You're tired and burned out and focused on raising a kid that drops your sex drive.
1:30:15🔗
Drew
So please tell me that Hymen Remnant could make her sterile so she doesn't have any more kids.
1:30:18🔗
Rob Schneider
How about that? I think that what's happening here is that Hymen Remnant, they keep coming back, is trying to close her vagina so we can save her from further children.
1:30:31🔗
Caller
Put a condom on him or I'll grow and close this whole area off and the other side with it.
1:30:51🔗
This is Loveline.
1:30:55🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, now, if other men have been there, no good. Like, artistic, entertaining women, no hair, not in the supermodels, shower head's good, condom's good, mother tough, prostate massage good, middle finger good, but thick. Swinging around like a big, aggressive, sexual, female's good. Strap on, no good, don't axe, don't kill. And tomorrow night, I want to find out when you lost your virginity, we'll figure out how that went down.
1:31:18🔗
Drew
And when did this become the Ricky Martin Puerto Rico hour? I don't know, we had a lot of Puerto Ricans, hopefully more tomorrow.
1:31:29🔗
Rob Schneider
Good show tonight Rob, well done. Thank you for joining us. It's a pleasure Dr. And we'll be in here again tomorrow night, Rob and I to...
1:31:39🔗
Drew, what were you saying to me?
1:31:40🔗
Rob Schneider
That Rob wants, Rob wants a drop. A drop, what happened to the drop? You know at the end of the show, how you're sticking to the drop?
1:31:47🔗
Oh yeah, I heard something about that, that he was upset about that. I'm sorry, Rob.
1:31:51🔗
I heard that you sat around waiting a half hour after the show.
1:31:56🔗
Yeah, I got something.
1:31:59🔗
Caller
Fire good, herpy bad, sore new spot, not seen before, where come from, strange spot, not wanted on genitalia, me no like spot, spot itch and hurt, me paranoid about spot, me want spot go away.
1:32:22🔗
This has been Loveline, Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.