0:33🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, you know what, I feel like, you know, last night was a really great show. And I think we peaked, but it's going to be tough to beat. But we'll see how it goes.
0:40🔗
Drew
We, Rob and I did a little promo here in Los Angeles for the show just before we went on the air. And I mentioned that there was a peak. There was sort of a moment in the show last night that really, peak, I think, is the right word.
0:51🔗
Drew
Just learning about your relationship with the finger and the took eye and the prostate. Very interesting. I've never really met a guy that was into that stuff. And I'm just, I'm pleased to know that you're...
1:14🔗
Rob Schneider
It was a nice screening. They had out in Thousand Oaks. I want to thank everybody who went to that. And I heard that they liked the movie a lot, so that's good. Adam Sandler worked really hard on that. He wrote it with the great Alan Covert, hello, and then Nick Swartson. And who else is in it? The great David Spade, John Heater from Napoleon Dynamite, John Lovitz.
1:46🔗
Rob Schneider
I know, I know, it was great. But so I'm really happy for that. And the guys at Revolution and Sony are doing that movie.
2:01🔗
Drew
And I think everybody knows Rob Schneider. Right, and do people still, you know, you know how time kind of moves along. Does your SNL characters, do people still talk to you?
2:11🔗
Rob Schneider
Not much anymore. Most of the kids today don't remember from SNL. I still get the occasional, you're Paulie, sure, aren't you? I get that. I'm sure he must get that. It must be worse for him. Paulie, you were great in Deuce Bigelow. You must get that. That must bug him.
2:40🔗
Rob Schneider
I have a job where I take care of adult handicapped people, different developmental disabilities.
2:48🔗
Rob Schneider
Good times. And one of the girls was going to the bathroom and she was playing in her feces.
2:57🔗
Drew
Yeah, that's an interesting thing. I had a severely autistic kid I treated once who was on medication and they couldn't figure out why he kept getting toxic on his medication because he had was eating the old feces.
3:19🔗
Rob Schneider
So yeah, so I put some gloves on and I went to wash your hands up and she grabbed my wrist and dug her fingernails into my wrist.
3:27🔗
Rob Schneider
And three weeks after the fact, I found out that she had a hepatitis C. And I was wondering if it's contractable through that.
3:40🔗
Drew
Yeah, I've never heard of it being contracted that way though. There's all sorts of, there's bacteria and stuff that comes through, but that's, that virus, a tough one to get just, it's very similar to HIV in terms of how it's transmitted. It's a retrovirus. And so it's not a, Francis, I heard a discussion once by a scientist who was saying that if you took a drop of blood, let's see how this worked, and put it in a swimming pool, a drop of blood infected with hepatitis B, and put it in a swimming pool.
4:09🔗
Drew
And then drew out a couple cc's of that pool water and injected it, you transmit hepatitis B every time. While if you put a cup of blood into a quart of water, you'd be rarely transmit hepatitis C.
4:29🔗
Drew
That basically pulling up two cc's of fluid in a swimming pool, with one drop of blood diluted into it, would transmit hepatitis B.
4:41🔗
Drew
So it's a very difficult disease to contract that way, though certainly sharing needles and these sorts of things are obviously the means whereby it's transmitted. And people speculate that it's actually the drawing of the blood back up into the syringe where you really do the job. So it's not so much what's on the tip of the needle or on the tip of the fingernails that's likely to transmit it. And I don't think there's much of it in the feces.
5:00🔗
Rob Schneider
In other words, next time you get the person there is playing with their feces, go out the back and get the hose. Hose them down.
5:11🔗
Drew
You should check out hepatitis B though. That can be transmitted that way. Or just other infections.
5:15🔗
Rob Schneider
Or it could just be a bad infection you get there. You guess you might need some antibiotics.
5:21🔗
Yeah, hey guys, what's up?
5:35🔗
Rob Schneider
And it's not like just pregnant chicks because I like non-impregnated chicks, too, but-
5:40🔗
Rob Schneider
Sure, right, but there's something with pregnant chicks that just rocks your boat.
5:44🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, it's like I could be walking down the mall and a pregnant girl walks by me and the march is on, you know?
6:27🔗
Drew
Was there ever a child that was like a miscarriage or something, or when you were growing up?
6:43🔗
Drew
All right, so listen, it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? From just a pure biological standpoint, pure evolutionary perspective.
7:00🔗
Drew
That's part of the evolutionary thing. So it makes some sense that it would be arousing. And some guys, what is fascinating though-
7:09🔗
Drew
Very few people are one way or the other on this one. You know what I mean? Very few people are just neutral on this one. People are either like, men are either like, oh, or they're into it.
7:25🔗
Which I know that really bothers you.
7:28🔗
Rob Schneider
It bothers me and I love it. Hey, here's the deal. Stop watching so much computer stuff about thepregnantchic.com porn site that you got over there. Because that will increase your- I would say-
7:41🔗
Drew
Well, that's interesting, because men get momentum with stuff, right? Just like if you're drinking heavily, it gets gone.
7:45🔗
Rob Schneider
It builds up, it becomes whether, I don't want to say addiction, it becomes a fixation.
7:53🔗
Rob Schneider
And the only way to do that is to get more that same stimulation. So if this guy's watching and watching and watching, I can't stop, I need pregnant chicks. And so therefore it builds to something. And then, you know.
8:05🔗
Drew
What was the Saint Augustine said? Abstinence is better than the perfect moderation is always better than the perfect moderation.
8:21🔗
Rob Schneider
Hey, I got a question. It's, I'm in a relationship with a girl pretty recent and I constantly just like hugging her and everything. Just been around her.
8:49🔗
Rob Schneider
I just keep on getting erection just like doing simple things with her, like holding her hand, hugging her. And it's just like walking around and I was like, oh my God, I gotta hide this thing. I'm like, oh.
9:03🔗
Rob Schneider
Forty years from now, you're going to long for the days when all you had to do was brush up against a young, vibrant young lady and then the next thing I know, I could cut glass.
9:15🔗
Rob Schneider
Now, well, for me, believe me, it takes more, it takes some of that stimulation, more, a lot of stimulation, to be honest with you.
9:28🔗
Rob Schneider
When you're 17, you wake up and you can't go through a wall with your boner, then you should call us with a problem.
9:34🔗
Drew
But you're right. That's absolutely right. And Michael, you should celebrate your health.
9:45🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, you know what? Women are cooler than we give them credit. I mean, like, when you take an 18-year-old girl, by the time she's 18, she's an expert in turning down guys. She's an basic, unless she has problems or whatever.
10:00🔗
Rob Schneider
Like, take a perfect example. Michael in Tucson thinks he's got a boner when he's holding her hand, and he thinks something's wrong with him. Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Eventually, if you show her that you care about her and stuff like that, or fool her into it, she'll do something with that. And you guys can have fun with that.
10:20🔗
Rob Schneider
I'm saying wear a condom and do something with it. But, you know, that's another thing. It blew me away last night. All these women have to say, no condoms, like, it's 2005.
10:28🔗
Drew
Not only that, listen, that's what you and your peers wear condoms. These kids don't need to wear condoms. You know what I'm saying?
10:39🔗
Rob Schneider
You're fine, you're a goober, but you got a girl who's next year, you're getting a boner, enjoy it.
10:51🔗
Rob Schneider
No. You know what? She's going to know. She's a hip chick. And just, you know what I recommend? Some tight undies.
10:59🔗
Rob Schneider
Seriously, tight underwears and just some bag of jeans and a really flowery long shirt. And just say, you know, put your hands in your pockets. You can deal with it. You're 17, man. Come on. You got a lot of time in your hands. You can figure this out.
11:23🔗
Rob Schneider
You know, they're top notch, man. They're better. You're doing a hell of a job hosting the show. Love having you on.
11:30🔗
Rob Schneider
I've got an 11-year-old stepson who asked mom this evening about masturbating. He asked, quote-unquote, is it okay for me to play with my balls? But just before we jumped in, not a bogus call.
11:54🔗
Rob Schneider
But we want to be... It's tough not being worried. But we want to maintain an open dialogue. But at the same time, we want to balance and make sure we're not over-sexualizing him.
12:02🔗
Rob Schneider
So we're looking for a little bit more advice on how to approach it at that age.
12:04🔗
Rob Schneider
First of all, chances are, Gavin, chances are somebody else brought it up with him, and he's not really that curious about it. But the more that you make a big deal out of it, the more he's going to think it's a big deal. So don't make it a big deal. So the thing is, but why he went to and talked to your wife first and not you is something that is a little different, you know? If there's anything with my nuts, I went right to dad. I didn't talk to mom until, I didn't talk to my mother about my nuts until like last week.
12:34🔗
Drew
My son tends to go to mom. That's because she heard you talking about your prostate massage. That's why I talked to mom.
12:56🔗
Drew
You've already sort of, she's actually gone too far in my opinion already. He's not talking about masturbation. That's a word he's going to go, what just hit me? What the heck was that? He asked, is it okay to touch my balls? That's what he asked. What you gotta go is, yes, that's okay. What makes you ask that question? What's going on? What do you mean by that? Keep it on their terms. Don't launch into your need to talk to them about masturbation, how healthy it is.
13:19🔗
Rob Schneider
You're elevating the situation there when it maybe doesn't necessarily have to be. Again, if you're making it, she's making a bigger deal out of it than he is, then the next thing you know, he's gonna be whipping them out in grade school and shoving them against the wall. He won't be doing that. But anyway, don't make a big deal out of it. It's gonna be all right. Is anything else there, Gav?
13:41🔗
Rob Schneider
Oh, I guess, is there a recommended reading from you, Drew, on, cause we know there's gonna be more questions coming up, something that would be a good preference.
13:48🔗
Drew
Let me just give you a good parenting book. It's called Parenting from the Inside Out by Dan Siegel. Parenting from the Inside Out. But let me reiterate, keep it on their terms. You gotta make sure what they're asking. What are they asking? Maybe he was talking about billiard ball, you know what I mean? Kids ask the craziest questions and they have no idea what they're actually asking. My daughter asked me when she was 5 if my wife and I sext. Do you sext? She said. And I went and first of all freaked out. And then secondly took a deep breath and went, well what do you mean? She goes, I mean, you know like they do on TV, they kiss. And I go, yes, we do that. And she thought, oh, we've had the greatest conversation. That's all she went to know. Do we kiss? She used the word sex. She'd heard it a million times, had no idea what it meant. So we use a word like masturbation when he's talking about touching his balls. He's got a huge disconnect.
14:36🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, I mean, I would just keep it simple. You can touch him, just don't let anybody else.
14:41🔗
Rob Schneider
Hey, Drew, why is it that when you rub your balls while you're jerking off, it feels so much better?
14:46🔗
Drew
Steve-O, oh man. He has to do lots of things when he's jerking off to make things go good. He's used to sort of high levels of stimulation. I guess. Here we go. This is Lee, who's 22.
14:56🔗
Hey, how's it going?
15:01🔗
Rob Schneider
It's not that strange. It's just I have a question with I have panic attacks and anxiety attacks a lot. And I wanted to know if it's related anything to the medicines I took for ADHD and depression when I was younger.
15:16🔗
Rob Schneider
No, I haven't been on medicine since I was 12. My mom's boyfriend thought it would be better for me to be getting contact eyes from him.
15:29🔗
Drew
All right. Well, that causes panic and anxiety. You're basically developing alcohol withdrawal. And panic and anxiety attacks, that's the same thing. And really, it's not in fact panic attack, it's alcohol withdrawal, which is experienced as a panic attack. So you need to get detoxed. You need to understand there's about a 60% fatality rate with delirium treatments. So if somebody needs to be monitored carefully by a doctor, if you stop suddenly your alcohol consumption, seizures are very likely. But if you're drinking enough to get panic attacks...
15:57🔗
Rob Schneider
I drink about a pint of whiskey a week. But the thing is, I was having those before I started drinking, and they actually lessen a little bit with the drinking.
16:06🔗
Drew
They lessen when you're drinking, but when you're off, they intensify. So the cycle is, I have panic in the morning, I have panic throughout the day, so I drink to make it feel better, which intensifies the panic and anxiety during the day of the following day.
16:20🔗
Drew
And in fact, what they've shown now also is that those withdrawal symptoms, when you get the tremor and the panic and all that, is actually damaging to the brain. There's actually evidence now that this really needs to be medically managed without which you... That is probably one of the contributing factors to why alcohol damages brain. That's what they think now. So let's take care of this, Lee.
16:39🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, I think, you know, in any situation you're having anxiety and you're not realizing you're drinking a pint of gin a week, that that's adding to it, it's certainly not gonna make it better. So I just think that was Modesto, that's what I expect.
16:58🔗
Drew
And because, you know, Lee, alcoholism is a disorder of a part of the brain called the medial forebrain bundle, which is your drive system, your survival system. So it's outside of consciousness, it drives the use and you can't use your volition or your rational brain to control that part of the brain. There's no connection there. So you have to go get some kind of treatment that specifically is directed at those experiential parts of the brain.
17:25🔗
Drew
Yeah, millions of them. And because it's a progressive disease though, it will eventually progress. And my thing is, same thing with all drugs, is like if people, if it's working for them, you can't talk them out of it. So what the hell?
17:36🔗
Rob Schneider
And if people are not interested in stopping, and they're able to keep a job down, and people are not interested in stopping, they're not going to stop.
17:46🔗
Drew
Well, yeah, if it hasn't caused the problem, the difficult thing I see is I know what's coming, I know what's going, and it makes me sad, but you know what? You gotta wait till that happens. So, Tim 17.
18:00🔗
Drew
Hang on a second, Tim. It's one thing that drives me crazy. People smoke pot every day, and people go, oh my god, oh my god. Yeah, if the guy was, or let's say that person gets cancer and has nausea and pain, and their pot helps their pain.
18:12🔗
Drew
And they don't want to stop smoking, and they're gonna die in a couple years. But smoke the pot. It's fine.
18:17🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, we have this problem in America where other people, people want to control what other people do. And it's just, I don't know, that's puritanical. Calvin is thinking it's still...
18:32🔗
Rob Schneider
Hey, Rob, I was just wondering, I saw you a little while ago on, I think it was WWE.
18:38🔗
Rob Schneider
I saw you doing some stuff with that, and I just thought it was so funny and random that you were on.
18:47🔗
Rob Schneider
Jack Giropputo got me to do that. He's a producer on the movies that I work on.
18:56🔗
Rob Schneider
Come on, go on WWE. It'll be fun. You'll have fun. And I said, all right, I'll do it. And it was fun, actually. It was funny because it's wrestling and you get kind of crazy.
19:06🔗
Rob Schneider
No, no, no, no. I just got in the ring and I was just saying some stuff and I saw a couple of, there's some contest of these girls beating each other up and I just jumped in there and sort of throwing these girls around. It was really, actually.
19:14🔗
Drew
How could that be, oh, that wasn't where you gained your predilection towards massage and the took eye and all that?
19:21🔗
Rob Schneider
I know. Well, I just, I don't think so. But I just threw a couple of girls around. It looked fun. It was fun. I'm glad I did it on the third game. I was back east, some Indian reservation.
19:41🔗
I have this question. It seems like whenever I just like kind of hook up with a random girl or when I just get into a relationship with her, when we have sex, I can go for an hour, hour and a half. But once we actually get into a relationship, I'm lucky if I can go, you know, 15, 20 minutes.
20:01🔗
Rob Schneider
Let me just hit the button there. You're so full of crap. Hour, hour and a half.
20:08🔗
Rob Schneider
Even if it was true, you keep it to yourself. You don't go on the radio and bad. You know, when I'm with a random chick that I pick up in a bar, a strip club or down the street corner, I last for a year plus change. But when I'm with the girl that I care about, I, well, I don't make it insider. You know, it's such a...
20:32🔗
Rob Schneider
I can't even last long enough to get it in her. But well, I don't, you know, first of all, let's backtrack that. Let's take a zero off of that maybe. But there's something that if you're with a woman, that maybe he's, I don't know, what the hell is that?
20:44🔗
Drew
By the way, an hour of sex, you rub your kneecaps off and turn your... It's like a pencil sharpener at that point.
20:51🔗
Rob Schneider
It's just an exaggeration. Guys, you know, women don't need you to lie. It's not about that. At least I hope not.
20:56🔗
Drew
Be that as it may. The fact is that when you're with a new partner, when you're with somebody you don't know, it's uncomfortable. It's anxiety provoking.
21:03🔗
Drew
Makes you a little nervous. And so anxiety and nervousness makes you not function as well sexually.
21:08🔗
Rob Schneider
You take your clothes off, you don't know what you're going to have down there with, you know, is she shaved, is she not shaved, what is it, you know.
21:14🔗
Drew
Just make notes of the kinds of things that Rob focuses on. He learned tremendous amount about our guest this way.
21:22🔗
Rob Schneider
And whereas if you're with a girl, you know you're going to get sex and you've been thinking about it. Also, you're out with a girl, you're not 100% sure it's going to happen if it's a first, you know.
21:33🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, hopefully, hopefully. And he doesn't want to talk her into it. Yes, wonderfully. No, but here's the deal. You know, if you're with a girl that you're in a relationship with, you know you're going to have sex or you've been thinking about it. Yeah, your chances are that's why you're not right.
21:49🔗
Drew
Makes you nervous. And once you settle in a rhythm, you're comfortable with that person. Now, by the way, when you feel nervous, sometimes people last longer, sometimes they last shorter. Yeah, you can make people go off more quickly. So it's hard to predict how it's going to affect a given individual. But just know that being nervous makes sexual functioning not so good.
22:06🔗
Drew
Not a real problem. I'm with you on that too. So anyway, Rob Schneider is our guest here tonight. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. The more you call, the more we learn about Rob.
22:39🔗
Rob Schneider
Thank you, sir. Our last caller was a liar, saying he has sex for an hour and a half. Women don't really want to have sex for an hour and a half. The average woman. I mean, there's maybe the one who does. But, you know, they may say they want to, you know, F you all night, but they're just talking dirty, hopefully.
23:25🔗
Rob Schneider
What's up, man? Okay. So when I was younger, I was raped, and that's how I lost my virginity to an older girl.
23:41🔗
Rob Schneider
Why do you call that raped? I would have called that rescued. I would have said, thank God. Oh my God.
23:57🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. But my question is, is it okay to use the line that I was raped for when I lost my virginity to get a girl to sleep with me?
24:11🔗
Did she use a splint?
24:13🔗
Drew
Yeah. That's what I want to know. Before we call him out, let's just hear what his life is.
24:30🔗
Rob Schneider
No. She stuck her hand on my pants and I was like, what are you doing? She's like, just go with it.
24:37🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't really want to do this. And she's like, just do it. I was like, I don't.
24:41🔗
Rob Schneider
And then... How dare you, you hot girl, touch my penis? My hard penis. How dare you, you hot girl.
24:51🔗
Rob Schneider
And then what happened? See, you weren't raped. You just had sex with you, even if this ever happened.
25:07🔗
Drew
Well, at 12, you know, actually, if you look at the data on 12 year olds with older women, total males older women, their outcomes are not good. They tend to have more depression, more suicide, more antisocial.
25:19🔗
Drew
Right. And so it depends on the male, depends on the circumstance. Most of that is referencing people that are with like their teachers and stuff like that. We really isn't rape so much as sexual assault.
25:32🔗
Rob Schneider
He's using it now to perpetrate, you know, is it work when you tell the girl, hey, I was raped at 12. What do you say we reenact it? What do you, I don't understand. How does that work, Mark?
25:46🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, no, we, I don't really like tell it that, you know, I was raped in that way.
25:52🔗
Rob Schneider
I've been in conversation when I'm like trying to have sex with her, pick her up.
25:58🔗
Rob Schneider
She asked me if I've ever had sex before and I'll be like, well, yeah. When I was younger, I was raped. And she's like, oh, and she does the whole sympathy thing. And then it actually has worked on a couple of girls.
26:09🔗
Rob Schneider
Hey, you know what? Whatever. I don't know. You know what? It's just such, guys will do anything to get laid.
26:17🔗
Rob Schneider
And that obviously wasn't such a scarring experience as if he's using it now, is to think it's exciting to other girls.
26:39🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, when I was 12, a bunch of my friends were older and they were all going through puberty. And I wasn't and I was trying to figure out why. And I tried to experiment with a friend's little sister.
27:07🔗
Rob Schneider
Just like nothing ever actually happened. But I sort of attempted to just like, I don't even know where I was going with it. But I got caught by her mother. And fortunately, she was like, she saved me from from all that. And she was really...
27:25🔗
Drew
First of all, this whole puberty thing, human brains are amazing. The things we think have very often very little to do with what's motivating us and what's actually going on. You were perpetrating child abuse under the child. In your brain, it was like to figure out whether there is puberty here.
27:43🔗
Drew
And the fact is, though, you were perpetrating something pretty horrible here, which suggests also that it happened to you.
27:52🔗
Rob Schneider
It's weird, because I've listened to the show for years, and I would try to ask myself that same question, and nothing.
28:06🔗
Rob Schneider
When anybody says they have a perfect childhood, well, yeah, my parents are divorced.
28:11🔗
Rob Schneider
My dad is at a rate mean till I was nine. We had a perfectly picture-perfect childhood there. So what, your parents are divorced?
28:20🔗
Rob Schneider
No, they're together. And they were always really open with me about everything.
28:41🔗
Drew
Yeah, but don't buy that BS either. Seeing explicit sexual images as a child can be problematic. It's not, we're just liberated. We let the kids see this natural act.
28:55🔗
Drew
That's a cause of sexual compulsion. And if it's really explicit, what you're looking at, you may then do what you did. Thank God, you actually didn't do anything to this kid. Is that right?
29:17🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, now, I've been in two long relationships that I'm not in any more, but both girls were sexually, like, molested. And I've been single for like a year. And I know, listening to this show, that, you know, girls who go through that find people, you know, they find perpetrators.
29:43🔗
Drew
They find perpetrators. And maybe Scott was one. Perpetrator of light. Let's be fair. A perpetrator of light. But nonetheless, perpetrator.
29:57🔗
Drew
Are there other problems? Are you sexually compulsive? Do you have trouble with the relationships or boundaries?
30:20🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, well, yeah. What kind of porn are you looking at? Are you looking at barely, barely legal or barely 12? What kind of porn are you looking at?
30:32🔗
Rob Schneider
Just regular, straight old, God-American-loving, I'm an American Republican and I love my porn and I have a right to my pornography and I'm going to enjoy it and I'm going to... Well, you see, here is one of the things where he has some issues from his childhood.
30:52🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, I think more happened than what he's made him into. I think you're right. I think he is... The mother came in before it got really, really, really bad.
31:01🔗
Rob Schneider
But some stuff happened and enough happened where it actually had some trauma and it stayed with him. And I think that there is something, some connective mental tissue that kind of works his way to these other girls who have these problems.
31:17🔗
Drew
I agree. There's smoke here, at least. So Scott, there's a Delamo Treatment Center out in Hawthorne. Delamo Hospital has a specialized program in treating with sexual compulsions. Be nice to get evaluated to see if you're prone to problems.
31:30🔗
Rob Schneider
And you're obviously interested in things. You can maybe get control of it. You're always going to be a weirdo, but maybe you get a handle on it.
31:40🔗
I have a question for you guys. Hi.
31:47🔗
Well, it seems like a lot of guys that I meet are cheap. And I don't know. Maybe, you know, my approach...
31:55🔗
Yeah. I don't know. Me and, like, I'll go out on a date with a guy, whatever. And it's like, I'll see a cute little shirt or something. And I'll go in like, oh, this shirt is cute. Why don't you get it for me? You want to buy it for me? And then all of a sudden it's like they'll buy it or either they'll like, oh, I think you're going to buy it. And it's like, oh, but, you know, it's always something. Or it's like the date of like, and after that.
32:20🔗
After that date, it seemed like...
32:25🔗
Okay. After the first date, it's like, usually, I feel like they're too cheap, and I won't call them. Or either they'll be really good-looking, and it's like, I won't hear from them.
32:34🔗
Wait, whoa, whoa.
32:35🔗
Rob Schneider
Can I just say something, man? Why the hell do you think it's okay to get guys to buy you stuff when you're first going out with them? What the heck are you thinking of?
32:42🔗
Well, you know what? I don't know. That's what makes me think. When I grew up, my mother always told me, you know, hey, don't be afraid to put it out there. You're a beautiful girl. You can get anything you want. In previous relationships, I pretty much gave to, like, to the boyfriends that I used to be with.
33:08🔗
I thought we know each other for an hour. No, actually, I'm not like that. I'm really sweet about it. I, like, I don't know.
33:13🔗
Rob Schneider
So you're sweet about it, but you're still trying to get these guys to spend money.
33:15🔗
Drew
What did you give them before? Anna, what did you give them before? What did you give them before?
33:20🔗
Caller
Well, I used to, like, I don't know, like, I let my, the last guy I was with, I let him stay with me for four years, you know, for freedom at the penny rent, you know.
33:31🔗
Drew
One of the great things about human beings is that they usually sit on both sides of a coin. In other words, they're either abuser and victim, in her case, exploiter and exploited.
33:42🔗
Rob Schneider
Exploited, yeah. She's let some loser guy live with her for four years without giving him a nickel. And then the first guy who might be a decent guy, he goes out, she's with him for five minutes on Melrose and he's not buying her some lousy new skanky shirt. He is weird.
34:09🔗
Caller
My question is like, I want a good guy, a good quality guy, but how do I get him and keep him at the same time, get him to buy me and treat me to...
34:18🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, you know, first of all, Anna, when you're thinking of a good quality guy, the first word you say is buy me. How can I get like a good quality guy to buy me some stuff? I mean, if he's a good quality guy, I mean, he's gonna be buying me t-shirts and pants and slacks and shoes and socks. And maybe, I don't know, an overcoat has been raining a lot recently in LA. You know, the Santa Ana winds come in. It's kind of cold. I need a good guy who's gonna buy me something, maybe color my hair, maybe take a bikini. You know, shave down there, so I'm nice and smooth for the next guy who doesn't want to buy me.
34:51🔗
Rob Schneider
But anyway, so here's the thing. How do I get a good guy to buy me stuff? I don't know. I mean, that sounds like almost direct. It's indirect prostitution, Ana.
35:01🔗
Rob Schneider
What is a good guy? I mean, like, you know what? The conversation you can have with your mother and like, you know, you're a good girl.
35:06🔗
Rob Schneider
You gotta put it out there, baby. If you want a t-shirt, you get a t-shirt. If he doesn't, he's not a good guy. You know, how about a good guy who's a guy who's maybe has a future and has a career and is interested in you more than just for trading you sex for a t-shirt?
35:18🔗
Drew
And here's how he's gonna be interested in you. Obviously, you're an attractive one. She's got to be hot, right? Just to be thinking this way. Well, she's got to, yeah, she needs to have something else to offer. She needs to like have a skill or profession. Something interesting about her. And then, by the way, lots of interesting guys and good guys, not cheap guys, will be interested in you at that point. And by the way, also, when you go out on these dates, don't buy anything for anybody. Spend time talking to that person. That's the idea of a date.
35:45🔗
Rob Schneider
You know how you get a good guy? If you're having a really good life and making someone of your life, then they're going to attract good guys.
35:53🔗
Drew
Yeah. Just don't think of guys just... You don't need a guy to be fulfilled. You don't have to have guys see you just as what you are physically. You need something more because you can only attract a certain kind of guy unless you've got something much more to offer.
36:09🔗
Drew
Another loser. You can have more losers. Losers are around. There are lots of losers. Lots of losers. It's good. My goodness. Another satisfied customer. Betsy is 23.
36:58🔗
Drew
Did I just hear a smoke alarm go off in the background? I think I heard a smoke alarm. Let me just time that out. Did you have a little beep?
37:21🔗
Drew
Wait, wait, hold on. You don't see a smoke detector somewhere on the ceiling or on the wall there? Oh yeah, there is. Why'd you go stand by that for me? Just kind of stand right by it. No, I'm serious. Go stand right by it. You stay.
37:39🔗
Drew
Well, at least you know it needs a new battery. Yeah. That's good. Let's see, a reptile couldn't live in that room with that thing chirping without doing something like chewing the thing off the wall. And Betsy here has been living with that for how long, chirping like that?
38:00🔗
Drew
How about you just take that thing, just twist it off the ceiling there and put the new 9-volt vat, oh, there it is again.
38:05🔗
Rob Schneider
Just throw it away. Hey Betsy, here's another good idea. You know what's another good idea? Here's what you could do, Betsy. You can get a guy who cares about you, is a good guy, can buy you a 9-volt battering, you know, maybe a T-shirt, get you a nooklock radio or something like that, maybe, I don't know, buy you some kind of other batteries for whatever you want. Or I don't know, a haircut, whatever, if you're a good girl, you know, you got it coming to you. So what's your problem? Besides the fact that you get burned in a fiery blaze.
38:35🔗
Rob Schneider
Because the thing is, I always put lingerie on for him and like dance for him and do everything for him. And every time I turn my back, he's like asleep.
38:55🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, now do you have other times for her? Yeah, well he should at least have one time for you. I don't know if any guy has times for you. I mean, I don't know. I've only got one time for my lady.
39:05🔗
Drew
I don't think, Betsy, I think he's kind of not into it right now, wouldn't you say? That 20 year old guy.
39:09🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, you guys love each other. Do you have a good relationship other than the fact that he's falling asleep when you're trying to be sexual or what?
39:22🔗
Rob Schneider
Why don't you, if you like this guy and if he likes you, whatever, will you try to find some special time together? Whether it's one day a week, whether it's between your beeping fire alarm going off, or whatever.
39:46🔗
Rob Schneider
Come on. Otherwise, try to make some special time with each other, and if you guys don't want to do that, if he doesn't want to do it, then get out.
39:51🔗
Drew
I agree. Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, the one and only Rob Schneider, just doling out the insightful advice. He's here. We have lots of good calls lined up, and we'll be right back. Get back to more Loveline right to the calls. This is Tamara, who is 20. Tamara.
40:34🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, so my question is, hey, honey, I'm on Loveline. Anyway, sorry, my question is, me and my boyfriend were talking the other night about clip piercings.
40:55🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, it came up. We were like laying about, just kind of talking about like things in our sex life and things we could change and do.
41:03🔗
Rob Schneider
It kind of came up, and it's something I've thought about before, and he had to kind of pass it.
41:05🔗
Drew
Hold on. Slow down here. What were the other things you thought you might change and do to improve your sex life?
41:10🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't know. Just like more sex. I'm all stressed out with school and stuff, so we haven't been doing it so often lately. I don't know. Just stuff like that. And I thought just ways to get more stuff like leave use toys, leave use stuff like that before.
41:24🔗
Rob Schneider
Just kind of stuff. I'm just curious if there's health risks. Like, I guess I'm nervous about it more.
41:29🔗
Rob Schneider
Absolutely. There's definitely, you could get infected down there. You're putting the hole on your clit.
41:40🔗
Rob Schneider
You're piercing something that shouldn't be pierced. But, you know, if you want to do that...
41:44🔗
Drew
It's a good policy to keep sharp objects away from your genitalia. Just generally speaking.
41:49🔗
Rob Schneider
I wouldn't. Sandpaper. Why don't you say, hey honey, instead of getting a clitorin, why don't I just sandpaper your nutsack? Can I just do that for a while? For an hour?
41:59🔗
Drew
The other thing, Tamara, I'm concerned with is that when women get this, sometimes they go through a period of hypersensitivity and then there's sort of a desensitization that follows.
42:08🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. I mean, what if all of a sudden it doesn't feel good anymore? Does it feel good right now?
42:17🔗
Rob Schneider
I mean, there's no issue. I'm just kind of curious, like, what happens. I've always been interested in seeing that. I'm just wondering if it was really as good as-
42:24🔗
Rob Schneider
I could be curious about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm not going to do it.
42:28🔗
Drew
Yeah. Some women say, oh, it's a great thing, but more often than not, I hear other complaints that it gets desensitized.
42:33🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't know. I mean, it's a thing like, all these women got their belly button pierced and they're like, I don't know, my daughter want to get her belly button pierced. Some of my nieces is like, you know, I don't know. I mean, just, it's a trendy little thing. This is a little more grosser.
42:46🔗
Drew
When you get real aggressive piercing, genitalia piercing, usually means some kind of, in my experience, it's usually physical abuse in childhood. Somebody hit you with an object. No one ever struck you growing up.
43:02🔗
Drew
I think, I guess there also is a difference between people thinking about doing this and actually doing it.
43:07🔗
Rob Schneider
I haven't done it. It just kind of came up in conversations, kind of something I was thinking about. So I was like, well, maybe I'll see what health risks are out there.
43:13🔗
Rob Schneider
Do you think it is your boyfriend saying it would be sexy? That's probably why she's thinking about doing it.
43:17🔗
Rob Schneider
Did he say it would be sexy? Yeah. I don't know. Mark, why do you want me to do it?
43:36🔗
Rob Schneider
Has he asked for the threesome yet? Because that's coming next. That's right. In the order of.
43:44🔗
Drew
There we go. That's that guy, Tamara. We know who your boyfriend is exactly. Now he's going to hold back on the threesome thing, even though it's in a huge thought bubble over his head.
43:52🔗
Rob Schneider
No, it's going to keep happening. You know what I think? I think you get that thing pierced.
43:56🔗
Drew
No, it's like, Susie is really hot, Tamara, your good friend. Don't you think she's attractive?
45:10🔗
Drew
Here's what I promise. It wouldn't be exciting if that actually happened to you. Secondly, if you've ever felt powerless at any other time in your life, sometimes that becomes a source of sexual arousal now as you're hitting 17, 18.
45:19🔗
Rob Schneider
And let me tell you something else. Women who are raped, sometimes it can ruin their entire life.
45:25🔗
Drew
That's true. Post-traumatic stress, you can feel bad about men, it can be very difficult to be close to people.
45:33🔗
Drew
And I think more likely with this is still, if you've not been traumatized previous in your life, it's that you need to feel powerless in order to be sexual because you don't like to sort of incorporate that part of yourself. And if you're out of control and you have to be sexual, then you can express it. So, you're 17.
45:48🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'd wait till 19 to want to be forced to be raped if I was.
45:51🔗
Drew
Yeah, rapes usually start at 19. Deuce Bigelow, European Jiggle. It will be out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. You know Rob Schneider from all the Deuce Bigelow films, The Hot Chick, 50 First Date. He's got a new film, which was tested tonight, tested well, Bench Warmers. And we're going to be back just after this break. I'll be right back. That's right, it's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. The one and only Rob Schneider is in with us tonight.
46:32🔗
Rob Schneider
It has been interesting, but hopefully we're going to get more interesting in this next time.
46:46🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, well, I spent a little bit of time San Francisco State, not a lot, but all my heroes there were all the professors and the people in the drama department were gay. They were all my heroes, all these great people were gay, so I've always had a very open-minded, I was very lucky to be in a very progressive area of the country.
47:05🔗
Drew
At that time, I'm gonna ask you a hard question, were people being encouraged to explore same-sex kinds of unions?
47:10🔗
Rob Schneider
No, not me, but no, was the same encouraged? I will say this, in my high school I grew up, because I grew up in the Bay Area, I would say it was more likely, I'm just gonna say it was more lesbians or more gay kids, it was more of a possibility for somebody to come out and be earlier, whereas maybe in Massachusetts or, you know, some parts of Massachusetts, or like in Kansas City, they would be less likely to.
47:33🔗
Drew
The one piece of data that keeps coming up about young people's behaviors right now is that the girl on girl stuff is going up dramatically.
48:01🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, because they know it's a turn on to guys. Okay. And also I just think it's, you know what? It sounds like it's a cliche to say, but it's a trendy thing.
48:09🔗
Drew
It is trendy. On the other hand, women are very flexible with these things and men, young men are pretty disappointing.
48:17🔗
Rob Schneider
It is true. It is true. I mean, it's guys are, men are basically retarded until they're like about maybe 48. My age. How old am I?
48:37🔗
Rob Schneider
I have a question. I was looking at my boyfriend's computer and then I noticed like some porn websites and I didn't really care but then I kind of looked and then and they're all like all the ones that he looks at, they're like fat girl porn. And I'm not fat.
48:57🔗
Rob Schneider
And you're not fat? Well, well maybe that's the reason he's interested. Have you thought about, listen, let me ask you something. Is there a donut shop close by where you live?
49:07🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay. Well, what kind of, what kind do you like? Um, well, let me tell you, the sprinkled kinds, the double chocolate, those are going to get you, that's going to get you fat quick.
49:24🔗
Drew
Well, Lindsay, first of all, God bless you for being sort of un, sort of nonplussed, unshaken by the fact that he looks at porn. You know, she's very at ease with that.
49:33🔗
Rob Schneider
I would say this, I'm saying it, she's just saying it because she's on the radio where she would be a little weirded out by it.
49:40🔗
Rob Schneider
The fat girl thing, you know, why does that weird you out? Is it weird you out that you think he's into fat girls? What does it tell me?
49:57🔗
Drew
Lindsay's a very liberated young woman. It's just, yeah, just whatever. It's what he's into.
50:12🔗
Is he an African-American?
50:16🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay. Now, let me ask you something else, though. Did you ask him, would you rather be with a fat girl than me?
50:44🔗
Drew
But let's sort of back it off a little bit and say that there's a difference between what guys want in a girlfriend and what they look at in pornography sometimes. True that. That the visual images, in order to be highly arousing, may need to be exaggerated for men sometimes.
51:00🔗
Rob Schneider
And also, you know, it just is some sort of outlet for him since she's a chronic masturbator.
51:05🔗
Rob Schneider
You know, and so it's like, do you ask him, does he think about you when he's pleasuring himself?
51:37🔗
Rob Schneider
Like maybe like five minutes or something. He has like premature ejaculation, I think.
51:42🔗
Rob Schneider
How do you not leave this guy? I mean, he's got so many things going for him. He loves fat women. He's a chronic masturbator. And he's horrible in bed. I mean, how do you walk away from a guy who's this kind of gold? I mean, does he have a good job there, Lindsay?
52:08🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, Lindsay, aim a little higher. How about just a chronic masturbator, not a chronic masturbator who's chronically masturbating at fat porn?
52:24🔗
Drew
I don't know, Lindsay. It's all a little suspicious. I, you know, you know, why do you like this guy?
52:29🔗
Rob Schneider
I mean, I'm kind of I know there's some great qualities you've mentioned, but what is it? What is it that attracted you to him?
52:53🔗
Rob Schneider
Chronic masturbating dorky losers. Why couldn't I meet a Lindsay when I was in high school?
53:14🔗
Rob Schneider
I see some very happy children in your future. Chronic and masturbating. Hello.
53:21🔗
Rob Schneider
Hi. I'm great to be on here and I'm glad I listened to the show tonight because you guys have had some interesting calls.
53:36🔗
Rob Schneider
That's okay. I know you want me to get to the question. When I'm having sex, I orgasm usually about, I had to average about eight, nine times. And I want to know if actually that's going to be detrimental in the long run.
53:48🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, if the guy ever goes out with somebody else. Yeah, you'll kill him. He'll kill himself.
53:53🔗
Rob Schneider
Oh my God, I'm over. I can't do it anymore. My last girlfriend, she went off all the time.
53:59🔗
Drew
Yeah, you're one of those women that will have the multiple multiples, not just sequential. No, some women can have 20, 30, even 40.
54:06🔗
Rob Schneider
But they're not killers though. Basically the one, if you go out, you're going to have little tiny orgasms. But if they add it up to one killer, right? You know, is that what I'm saying? They're small orgasms, right?
54:24🔗
Rob Schneider
Depending upon what he's doing, if it's oral or hand, really quick, if it's just intercourse for the first one, it takes me a little bit longer.
54:42🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, you probably should go on motorcycle rides and go horseback riding for hours and go to the beach.
54:54🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't know, what should you rather there, Michelle? I mean, having multiple orgasms or no orgasms?
55:13🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, you sound okay. I mean, is you're worried about long-term health with sensitivity? No.
55:17🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, I'm just worried about sensitivity because I, like, after like a full like 30, 40-minute session with the foreplay and everything, by the end, particularly like the clitoris is just worn out.
55:30🔗
Rob Schneider
I know. Well, the next day you're okay, though, right? You bounce right back, right?
55:34🔗
Drew
Here's the deal. You may want to avoid using like vibrators and that kind of thing because you seem to have difficulty sort of stopping. You keep going. That could desensitize things. And maybe you want to stop at six or seven instead of nine.
55:44🔗
Rob Schneider
Why don't you try like, you know, not touching each other for the first 10 minutes, see what happens.
55:55🔗
Rob Schneider
Nothing. I think you're really cute and all but what's wrong with liking fat women?
55:59🔗
Rob Schneider
I said there's nothing wrong with liking fat women. I just think if you're chronically masturbating to fat women.
56:10🔗
Drew
He was with a fat girl before and that made sense. And now all of a sudden he's with a skinny girl and masturbating.
56:43🔗
Rob Schneider
5'6. Well, at least you got some height to balance that out. But now... But are you... I mean, you feel like that's healthy for you?
56:56🔗
Rob Schneider
Great. Okay. Well, the thing is, I would say, you know, if you're healthy, no matter what size you are, whether physically or mentally healthy, then you're all right. But chances are someone as 5'6, 270 pounds has some, you know, it has some health issues. I mean, you never hear of that 100-year-old 300-pound person. You just don't hear it because...
57:21🔗
Drew
You're fat. Well, you will very quickly, as you age, get to hypertension and diabetes. That's pretty much predictable when you...
57:31🔗
Rob Schneider
No, no, it's excellent. But let me tell you, you're feeling better about yourself now that you're losing some weight, though?
57:43🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, nothing wrong. And you're going to find some guy out there who can chronically masturbate, I guarantee you. Now, can we just talk about this stuff, though? Now, gastric bypass. Now, it's not the 100% answer for this thing, because you can't, basically, you're dealing with your stomach, it's the size of a walnut, plus, right?
58:04🔗
Drew
Well, here's the fact currently, is that when you look at people that are dangerously overweight or have morbid obesity... Yeah, it's better to have that. They never lose it. That's just, statistically, they just don't. Now, I watched The Biggest Loser tonight, and it was very inspiring with the way they presented what they did there. But these people had to set aside four months of their life, and really, I mean...
58:23🔗
Drew
Most people can't do that, or don't know how they're able to do that, don't have resources for that. But maybe that's an intervention. That's one possibility. Now, what's going to happen soon is a lot of people with this kind of obesity, it's a genetically determined thing. It's something that's just in their genes. And it has often something to do with the way the hormones in the body works in terms of the relationship between the stomach and the brain. And there's something called leptin, there's various other hormones that mediate hunger that they're going to have blocking agents for soon. So there may be ways to get the weight off of these people.
58:51🔗
Rob Schneider
I'd say that's partly the problem. The other problem is there's a lot of crap out there that you can eat that has zero, has a ton of sugar and crap in there that just doesn't have any value in nutrients. And so you're basically starving, but you're still eating and still eating and eating, but you feel like you're starving.
59:11🔗
Drew
Anyway, listen to Jennifer, listen to what size her parents were. Jennifer, how big were your parents?
59:19🔗
Drew
They were not that big. Did you have some reason that you were eating excessively? Do you have an eating disorder?
59:36🔗
Rob Schneider
Right. And you know what? Well, the women in my family do tend to be kind of big.
59:51🔗
Everybody except my mom.
1:00:00🔗
Drew
These are terribly complex questions. Who has a genetic thing vs. not? Who has a behavior thing vs. an abuse thing? Who has a hormonal thing? There are people under study that actually have these disorders where they can't get full. They just can't. It's a biological process. And so a lot of the studies on these blocking agents are being done on these kinds of guys. Here is Mark, who's 21.
1:01:06🔗
I've been doing it so much.
1:01:11🔗
Drew
Grace 17. By the way, see, it's always bogus when there's no question or should I confront them or I was wondering, is it the right thing to do? That's not a question.
1:01:25🔗
Drew
Oh, she hung up on us too. How about that? Let's go right on to Brenn, who's 22. Brenn?
1:01:41🔗
Rob Schneider
No, no. My climate is just normal because when I have sex, I like the guy to choke me and to slap me around and to pull my hair, but I mean, I've never been abused.
1:01:57🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay. Any problem there? Hey, what? Now, I mean, you slapped around. I mean, that's not just the occasional spanking, right? I mean, you like to be, have you been bruised? Do you have to go to work with like a big bruise or? Total neck?
1:02:51🔗
Drew
That's where this comes from. Things that are, things that are mortifying and terrifying as a child become sources of arousal in adulthood for various reasons. You can sort of think of it as all that, all that abuse, physical abuse, sort of burns out your arousal centers. They don't work as well when you grow up and you kind of are attracted to that because that is now a source of arousal.
1:03:11🔗
Rob Schneider
Exactly. But, um, you know, where do you go from here though, if you're getting slapped around, beaten around? Um, you like it though. That's the only way you feel excited?
1:03:22🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, that's right. And like sometimes I even ask them like to choke me or to just like pull my hair really hard, like to bend my head back and stuff.
1:03:31🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, you could, that's, the good thing about that is it's not dangerous. Nothing bad can happen when you're getting choked.
1:03:40🔗
Drew
You don't need much blood or oxygen to your brain. I mean, what the hell, that's not something to be afraid of.
1:03:44🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, I don't know. I think you got to find something else to like. I think that's just the-
1:03:56🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't know. If I really like the woman, and she said to me, Slap me, hit me, please beat me, take that tire iron to my face, please. I'm going to get out of there. I'm going to go, you know what? If I really like you, I would say, you need to go see someone.
1:04:18🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, a little bit I think would be okay. As long as it's in the safe thing, as long as they had some like, hey, this is, no, hey, that's too much.
1:04:26🔗
You pansy!
1:04:34🔗
Drew
Yeah, going there with the red cheeks, swollen cheeks from being smacked. That's a little bit concerning here. This is Tony 24.
1:04:51🔗
Rob Schneider
Oh, thanks, man. Been a few years now, to be honest with you. So what's going on up there, Tony?
1:05:05🔗
Rob Schneider
Because in LA., people be like San Fran. But if you're in Frisco, you say Frisco or the Sko.
1:05:11🔗
Rob Schneider
No, you're obviously from the East Bay, because you don't say San Francisco. What do you say? You say San Francisco. No one who loves San Francisco says Frisco. It's such an insult to me. I'm from San Francisco.
1:05:45🔗
Rob Schneider
Not a lot of respect to you people in the Richmond. Let me say that right now. You kids today, you knew what you were saying, Frisco, I don't like it. So what's your deal? What do you got going on?
1:05:55🔗
Rob Schneider
It's really easy to frequent the massage parlors, the red light district, prostitutes, all the good...
1:06:05🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, every time. I don't do anything bareback, but I'm just frequenting this stuff too much, and I'm pretty much going broke.
1:06:23🔗
Rob Schneider
I think twice a month. I think this guy's kicking butt. You're doing alright.
1:06:39🔗
Rob Schneider
Someone said go to SA., but like, what do I do there, when I get there, and like, what's that all about?
1:06:49🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, you know what, there's a reason why you're going to a lot. I mean, you obviously have some issues with women, because you're not having, if you're frequenting women, as you say, five times a month, prostitutes, massage parlors, strip clubs, then you have a problem in relationships with women, obviously, otherwise you're not having normal relations. You could be having normal strip relations, normal massage parlor relations, but you're having difficulty relating to women, and there's a need to want to do this, and it's coming from something in your past, so let's just talk about that for a second before we hang up on you. What is the deal? I mean, why are you not having a normal relationship? When was the last normal relationship you had with a woman?
1:07:33🔗
Rob Schneider
I hooked up with some Filipino chick for probably about five months, and then I...
1:07:38🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, but during that five months, you were seeing other strippers, right? And massage parlor things, right?
1:07:46🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay. All right, so you weren't having a deep, meaningful relationship with this Filipino girl you hooked up with. So it's probably not this relationship that scarred you for life.
1:07:57🔗
Drew
Right. It robs onto this here that you're having trouble being close to people, particularly women, and you still have to be sexual, and that's the only way you can sort of feel close is through this sort of exploitation of women.
1:08:07🔗
Rob Schneider
But it's also safe because they're women at a distance. You don't have to have a real relationship with them. You're just paying them to get what you want, sex, and then you're away.
1:08:13🔗
Drew
That's exactly right. It's usually difficult with proximity and closeness of other minds that make people sort of act out like this. And that's often an abuse history set up. And if you have alcoholism or addiction to your family, then it tends to activate a part of the brain that tends to drive this a little more powerfully than average. So that's what SA is about. People who have your story, your genetic makeup, and you go in there and you'll find a bunch of Tonys there. And they can tell you, they can support you, help you sort of decrease the amount of shame you're feeling about this. And give you some suggestions how you can manage this.
1:08:42🔗
Rob Schneider
Because you're not alone in this degenerate thing that is encompassing your entire life. However, you don't want to do this forever. You know, there is a reason. You want to have a normal relationship. Find a girl that you can have a relationship with and go see a movie. Don't just try to have sex with her or take her to a strip club and do some weird sort of thing. He'll keep going with the process and stuff. But there's another level you can probably try to get to. And I would say this. Do get something out of your life. Because it's another way of like, you know, it's an addiction. Your addiction is a way to avoid things in your life and avoid your problems. And so whatever you're dealing with, you know, make something of your life. And then the chances are you'll be less likely to do that. But definitely go seek some help.
1:09:24🔗
Drew
Essay, it's a good program. Check it out. This is 1-800-LOVE-191. We're Loveline. Rob Schneider is the guest host tonight. We're talking to people in Frisco.
1:09:34🔗
Drew
And we'll be back after this. Loveline. We'll be right back. It's Loveline, 1-800-LOB-E-191.
1:09:58🔗
Rob Schneider
They're a little crazy, but not the energy and the stupidity of last night's calls, which I really enjoy.
1:10:15🔗
Rob Schneider
Hi. I don't moan when I'm having sex with my boyfriend. And like, it's a really big turn on for him. And I want to, but for some reason I keep it in me. Like thinking.
1:10:36🔗
Rob Schneider
Yes, I moved. I live with a roommate, but she's never home. She's almost home.
1:10:50🔗
Rob Schneider
Because I live with my dad, and my parents are divorced. I live with my dad, and he has a new wife, and we don't get along, so my dad's actually paying for rent and everything.
1:11:03🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, that sounds like a good compromise there. Well, my new wife doesn't like you, honey, so here's a good deal. Cathy, you're going to go live over here by yourself, but don't, for goodness sakes, let's not have loud sex over there, because I'll still be able to hear you. Well, I don't know if that's a good compromise. How do you feel about that?
1:11:35🔗
Drew
Right, like you don't want to be heard in general. So it makes sense that when you're in intimate situations, you still don't want to be heard. You don't want people to take note.
1:11:44🔗
Rob Schneider
You want to please everybody, even if it means, you know, Dad, you just go ahead and live with the new wife and I'll just go live under a bus station.
1:11:52🔗
Rob Schneider
I'm fine. I've got a cardboard box and some ciggies. I'm good. I got my flip flops and a tank top.
1:12:01🔗
Rob Schneider
Some shorts. I'm good, thanks. I don't know, I'll go, I'll just borrow money from strangers and have quiet sex in my own place.
1:12:09🔗
Drew
Kathy, there's nothing we can really say that's going to make you express yourself more openly.
1:12:13🔗
Rob Schneider
Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. If you were able to moan during sex, do you think that would make your boyfriend completely happy with you?
1:12:21🔗
Drew
Maybe Rob, you ought to give her a little coaching. A little coaching session right now.
1:12:31🔗
Rob Schneider
Try that. See if he, see if, I guarantee you, he won't want you to moan anymore. I want you to keep it quiet next time.
1:12:42🔗
Rob Schneider
Listen, Kathy, just let, you know what, you get to know how long you've been with this guy.
1:12:50🔗
Rob Schneider
Oh man, how old is he? 30. 19, well that's kind of, whatever. Hey look, if he really likes you, that's not a problem. It's not a problem, but your relationship with your father is a problem. It's not okay for him to kick you out of the house because he doesn't get along with his new wife while you're still in high school. That's messed up and that makes you, you're letting people walk on you. And you know, you should see somebody about that and you shouldn't put up with things that, that, like that. I don't know.
1:13:30🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, so yeah, I went out with this separated guy for about seven months or, yeah. And recently he returned with his wife, but to me, he's still been, like, going out with me and, you know, still, you know, he's still been doing it and stuff.
1:13:54🔗
Rob Schneider
I mean, I was wondering, like, why would he go back with his wife and still...
1:14:05🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. You know, you know, it's not a thing of like, hey, you know what, honey, I can't see anymore. I'm having sex with somebody else. No, it's like a potpourri. It's like, what else do I got? It's a buffet. It's a sexual buffet. Can I put something else on my tray? I'll take that. Let me have this.
1:14:18🔗
Drew
Any of you who are sleeping with a married guy, the guy who keeps telling you that he's going to leave his wife, it is never going to happen. Because a male, whatever women are listening to this comment, whatever man is sleeping with you, it doesn't have anything necessarily to do with how he feels about you. It doesn't mean he loves you just because he's sleeping with you. He loves his wife. He's committed to his wife. He doesn't want to divorce. It's a whole mischigas when he divorces. But at the same time, if he wants to have sex with Stephanie, so you go.
1:14:47🔗
Rob Schneider
But you have to ask yourself something. What are you doing with this creepy married guy?
1:14:56🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, I don't know. I mean, we still go out to movies. He still takes me out to dinner.
1:15:01🔗
Rob Schneider
What are you doing dating a married guy? What is wrong with you that you're doing this?
1:15:11🔗
Rob Schneider
When you did know he was married and he said he separated, why was that still okay with you?
1:15:21🔗
Rob Schneider
Huh? He's a liar. Why are you still sleeping with this guy who's a liar? Why do you think so little of yourself? You're sleeping with this loser liar.
1:15:33🔗
Rob Schneider
I don't know. You know, honestly, you can hit the blue button there. I don't feel... It's so hard to feel sorry for women who allow themselves to be manipulated and used in this situation. Obviously, she's getting something out of this. And it's like she's going to continue to meet guys who step on her and use her, and that's just going to be her existence until she decides to feel...
1:15:50🔗
Drew
You know, dude, one of the......is attracted to unavailable, exploitative men. There you go. Let's stop that.
1:16:03🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, I'm reading what it says here. Alex started smoking pot. I'm thinking that the pot's still going on.
1:16:20🔗
Rob Schneider
You smoke herb, like, every day. Well, that's a good idea. When you're 14, that's good for your developing brain.
1:16:29🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, yeah. You know what you're doing, man. You got good parents, too. So what happened then?
1:16:41🔗
Rob Schneider
How many of those were shop classes? How many of those were shop and wood shop? Come on, auto shop. Metal. What?
1:16:54🔗
Rob Schneider
So, yeah. Yeah. And then I got caught and my GPA like, well, okay, so I got caught. So I had to stop and my GPA went down to like a 0.2 and then a 1.0 and stuff like that.
1:17:08🔗
Rob Schneider
So I was wondering if it can help with like, Well, I'm going to say this as a Raids and stuff. There's other stuff going on in your life, obviously. I mean, you sound like you're extremely depressed. You know, you have trouble saying a third word of each of your sentences. So what else is going on in your life?
1:17:29🔗
Rob Schneider
I haven't done anything for a while. For a while, I was doing shrooms and dust.
1:17:57🔗
Rob Schneider
Why not? Didn't one of your friends turn you on to that? You're dust buddies. You should be pissed at your dust buddies for not turning you on to the inhalers.
1:18:05🔗
Drew
All right, so here's the deal, Alex. Your question says on the board here, they have a question, is pot good for ADD? And it is definitely the case that kids with ADD like pot more than average. And for a short period of time, it may correct some of the ADD symptoms, but ultimately things get a lot worse as you're finding out. And then when you stop the marijuana, there can be a profound depression that follows. Now you add to that angel dust, which can affect cognition for sure, and mushrooms, which we believe, although I've never seen a study that shows this, it should affect mood and cognition as well. So you've been doing a lot of drugs that affects your brain and your brain development. Naturally enough, makes it very difficult.
1:18:41🔗
Rob Schneider
You sound like a winner, Alex. You sound like you should have gone out with that last girl who likes married chicks.
1:18:48🔗
Rob Schneider
Let me ask you, do you have your parent, do you live with your parents together?
1:19:16🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah. Well, you know what? Let me just tell you some, Alex, it's, you know, don't think the answer is going to be in a new kind of drug. It's not going to be like they're going to prescribe something and it's going to be the be all end all. Just like pot wasn't the answer, just like dust wasn't the answer. This, they can give you the best new ADD drug that exists on in the universe. It's not going to answer your problem. Your problem is you're depressed and you need to talk to somebody who can start to help you organize your thoughts and help you realize where this depression is coming from.
1:19:44🔗
Drew
You might try a little 12 Steps. Sometimes if you can tolerate that against 16 year olds, it's difficult to do that kind of work. But definitely you need some professional supervision on this. Lauren 17.
1:19:55🔗
Rob Schneider
Hello. Hello. Hello, Rob Schneider. I just wanted to say hi. I have a question. I have this sort of unnatural, you could say, obsession with blood.
1:20:26🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay. All right. You also have a problem with saying things quickly. That's another thing.
1:20:34🔗
Rob Schneider
Anyway, my question is, is this just a phase? Sometimes, though, it's erotic to the point where, whether they want it or not, I either need to be cut and have the blood, or I need to scratch them so hard that there needs to be blood.
1:20:55🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, that's a little advanced for 17. At 17, I was still just trying to grab the boobies.
1:21:30🔗
Drew
Are you like an emancipated minor? Do you not live at home? You sound like you're like in a, a nurse in a mass unit.
1:21:54🔗
Rob Schneider
My dad was an alcoholic and was addicted to morphine before I was born. When my beautiful.
1:22:00🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, you lucked out, didn't you? You won the kind of druggy parental Olympics, didn't you? You won the druggy parent of the lottery. Well, look, now, do you think that you're wanting to cut and scratch and have multiple sex partners at 17? Has anything to do with your?
1:22:27🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, I remember the first time I was raped, but not after that, which does explain the multiple sexual partners and the promiscuosity that I...
1:22:41🔗
Rob Schneider
I get what it means. I don't know if it's a real word, but I get that you're banging more than one guy.
1:22:53🔗
Rob Schneider
I go there to pick up chicks. I hang out in the parking lot and look mean like I'm going to cut somebody.
1:22:59🔗
Drew
Here's the problem with our society, that Lawrence of the world gets sort of singled out. Girls are just into sex. They're just very sexual. They're just into this.
1:23:11🔗
Rob Schneider
Let me just say this, Lauren. Lauren, now you know your parents are messed up, extremely messed up. Now, do you do any drugs yourself, ever?
1:23:23🔗
Rob Schneider
MDMA, occasionally DXM, occasionally ketamines. I smoke weed on occasion and I stay away from all alcohol, morphine, coke, anything else.
1:23:34🔗
Drew
This is drug abuser. This isn't addiction, thankfully. This is people that abuse drugs, do that combo.
1:23:40🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, now. Wow, you see, now that's, you know, you're getting close to a woman that I can go out with. Then the multi-sex thing was hot there for a while, but the multi-drug thing, I just lost my boner.
1:23:58🔗
Rob Schneider
No, I am starting to think that I am, I have a psychiatrist who has diagnosed me as...
1:24:10🔗
Rob Schneider
Wow, I don't know, it sounds like you're antisocial, you're banging every guy on the block. Now, Lauren...
1:24:18🔗
Rob Schneider
.needn't necessarily just mean dislike of people, it can mean the truancy that I had the last time.
1:24:31🔗
Rob Schneider
Okay, now, wow, so you're in therapy, but I don't understand why, how can you still be... Doc, help me out here. She's seen a psychiatrist, but she's still doing the drugs.
1:24:46🔗
Drew
And, Lauren, the main thing you need is structure. And I'm sure they've suggested to you some sort of residential living environment, yes?
1:24:52🔗
Rob Schneider
No, because my dad is actually a very decent person now. Any problems that we have are basically my problem.
1:25:04🔗
Rob Schneider
There's no such thing as it's somebody, some people have problems. It's never 100% one person's problem. Oh, I know.
1:25:12🔗
Rob Schneider
No, no, no, no. Believe me, your dad's messed up and maybe he's gotten a little bit together and God love him if he has. However, you have to get into some serious therapy.
1:25:24🔗
Drew
Well, long-term, highly structured interpersonal experiences are usually what help this out. What happens in folks like Lauren is amongst other things, the part of their brain that develops perspective taking and empathy doesn't work. That part of the brain hasn't developed yet. And so then that takes, you're literally talking about a growing brain. It takes months if not years.
1:25:43🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, I'm always amazed that there's somebody this messed up and I never lived with her at one point in time, you know, I haven't met her. No, but Lauren, the deal is this, Lauren, just seriously, you got, where do you go from here? You're taking multiple drugs, multiple sex partners, you're cutting yourself, you're cutting other people. There's a danger, there's a cliff you're heading for, and you know, you're going to go off it unless you go and really want to change.
1:26:07🔗
Drew
Spend some time in a highly structured, residential style environment. That's usually what works for this kind of thing. Talk to your doctor about that. Keep following their direction. Capitulate to this process. Don't think that you can solve this one on your own.
1:26:18🔗
Rob Schneider
Plus, it's dangerous, dangerous. This is the most dangerous call we had tonight. I mean, I know absolutely nothing about what I'm saying about this.
1:26:24🔗
Drew
And should you ever come across Rob Schneider? Do not date him. That would really, that's that cliff we were talking about. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. The great Rob Schneider in here with us. I'm Dr. Drew and Loveline will return.
1:27:02🔗
Drew
Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, Rob Schneider. Let's talk scrotal pimples. Here we go, this is Jose's 22.
1:27:10🔗
Rob Schneider
Oh, thank God. I was wondering if this was gonna come up. If they didn't bring it up, I was gonna bring it up.
1:27:29🔗
Rob Schneider
Different sizes. Now, when you say different sizes, now, what are you talking about? Talking about the eraser size, or like one that's smaller sometimes?
1:27:54🔗
Drew
That's right. And the ball sack is a place where you can... The nards, yes, are a place where you can get to pimples.
1:27:59🔗
Drew
And they're really carbuncles and follicles, things like that. And they can get kind of infected. So you need to kind of take care of them. Pus does come out of them. And that's what... Let's play a little Germany or Florida before we finish up this time. This is Nathan, 17.
1:28:15🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, just go out or just, you know, get in a squatting position for four days. They'll go away.
1:28:20🔗
Drew
That's an area that can get lots of bacteria and stuff. And so you can get a little abscess.
1:28:24🔗
Drew
Especially around the adolescents that can happen. So, and by the way, Jose, don't assume it's pimple. Somebody may want to look at that to make sure, diagnostically, that it's not something else.
1:28:41🔗
Caller
All right. What was a normal day for emergency operators turned out quite hectic. According to local law enforcement, a man called on a cell phone claiming to be suicidal. When police arrived, they found him in a tree about 15 feet up, dead from a bullet wound to the head, and was wearing a suit dressed like a vampire, a spokeswoman said. When law enforcement searched his house, they found a note that was written by the man that said, Satan was calling, and I answered him, may he make my passing into the netherworld a joyous one. The man was reported by neighbors to be acting strangely because of his earlier divorce, the spokeswoman said. He was 38 years of age. Germany.
1:29:29🔗
Rob Schneider
Now, I'm going to say it's Florida just because about the officers and the ambulances and stuff, because they don't have that as much of that stuff in Germany, so I'm going to go definitely Florida.
1:29:57🔗
Drew
Thanks a lot. Thanks, pal. This morning as I was showering, I was just thinking of those lyric tones from last night when you mentioned in German.
1:30:15🔗
Rob Schneider
Ich habe, ich habe, ich habe große, große, big, Schwanzstücke. Schwanzstücke.
1:30:26🔗
Rob Schneider
Schwanzstücke is your Schwanzstücke. Your Schwanz. Schwannstucker is a hard version.
1:30:48🔗
Rob Schneider
I think I had a substitute teacher, John Ross, when I was in high school, tell me that. Nice guy. He's a comedian here in LA.
1:31:00🔗
Rob Schneider
Well, he was a comedian friend of mine, actually. He said, hey, dude, I'm coming to your high school. And he was like, he told me that. I was in German class.
1:31:08🔗
Drew
Oh, he was in German. So he teaches you how to say, I've got a really big von Stuecker.
1:31:25🔗
Drew
Outstanding. Well, listen, we got to take yet another break. Yes, it's ridiculous. I know this day. This night has been just flying.
1:31:32🔗
Drew
We'll be back yet again after this. Well, another night with Rob Schneider and his Groshevan Stuka.
1:31:46🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, the Grosse von Stuecker and Rotendicke will be here tomorrow, fully engorged again for another.
1:31:57🔗
Drew
Well, listen, get us back tomorrow night. And we'll have just a minimal, just a mere 22 hours. We'll be back with you. Rob Schneider will be in here again tomorrow night. And in the meantime, keep an eye out for European Gigolo. Deuce Bigolo will be out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. And look out for Benchwarmers, which tested very well tonight.
1:32:20🔗
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.