0:22🔗
Voiceover
Hey, it's Love Line, that's right. The phone number, in fact, is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew, and I'm delighted to welcome to the show with my co-host D.L.
1:02🔗
Where apart?
1:08🔗
Adam
It was two, and they was in the Widget Protection Program. And they lived in Torrance. And so I grew up in South Central.
1:31🔗
Adam
And right... No, well, yeah, well, it was, you know, selling weed in between that, but yeah.
1:41🔗
Adam
Right, right, right. I just, you know, see, wife will go to Europe and hang out for a year, backpack. We sell weed, that's what we do. We just...
1:57🔗
Adam
Well, that's the good, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I've been fertile for a long time. I actually just, my daughter's in, she goes to Smith University.
2:27🔗
Adam
It really is, man. A little different in Northampton. And I didn't know school was that expensive. Well, you know, I got three kids and she's using all the college money because it ain't like my kid, my son going to use any of his college money. How much could trade tech be? What do you think DeVry will hit me for?
2:40🔗
Drew
He's just going to, maybe he can hit the same training system you got into. No, I don't think so. You don't like that for your kid?
2:47🔗
Adam
He's not equipped for that, though. My son is playing the flute. That's the gayest instrument in history. You can't sell weed and play the flute.
3:21🔗
Drew
I remember being out there just looking out the window, going, oh, and it's all girls. I got to get outside. Yeah, but the five colleges there is lots of other kinds of stuff.
3:29🔗
Adam
I thank God because it's a lot of like, it's just a liberal art. So it's a lot of gay people. A lot of them.
3:40🔗
Adam
And some of the women, I was like, what is this, a Russian hockey team? What the hell is this?
3:46🔗
Drew
A great school. Your daughter is lucky to be gone. It's a big deal. All right. Weekends at the DL. That's on Comedy Central. And is it the same everywhere or is it different on...
4:08🔗
Adam
They air it, no. I don't even know how it runs, but we're, you know, on the Cable channel. Cable, we run at 11, or 10 Central. And then, you know, Eastern, East and West, we run at 11. But we're the most TiVo'd show on Friday and Saturday in the country.
4:28🔗
Drew
No, no. You're TiVo'd. Well, first you go out Friday, Saturday. All your TiVo'd stuff you want to watch and get back.
4:36🔗
Adam
Yeah, but my son has to work it for me. So I make him put down that flute and come in here and tell him to keep going.
4:42🔗
Drew
You seriously, seriously, when you and your son go out, that you must look like brothers.
4:57🔗
Hey, Dr. Drew.
4:59🔗
What's up?
5:01🔗
Nothin much. My question is I've been separated from my fiancee for about five months now and I've been abstinent for that entire time and recently I have been having dreams slash nightmares about sex.
5:25🔗
Drew
Are they like violent dreams or is it, I mean, what do you mean? Nightmare? Not having had sex, then having sexual dreams is like, okay, there you go. That makes sense, right? That's you just do the math. Your body starts building up and there you go.
5:39🔗
Yeah.
5:42🔗
The one nightmare that I recently had and it literally when I woke up, I was in tears. I had sex with a six-year-old boy and I was completely ashamed and completely guilty and just was crying all morning.
5:57🔗
Drew
Has anything ever happened to you where you were abused as a kid or anything like that happened?
6:04🔗
Physically, as a child and my parents were alcoholics but they sought recovery but yeah, physically I was abused as a child. I was never sexually abused.
6:16🔗
Drew
Do you think you saw weird sexual stuff or were exposed to something you shouldn't have been exposed to?
6:21🔗
Not that I can...
6:24🔗
Not what I can think of.
6:25🔗
Drew
All right, so you had a shameful dream about your sexuality. Okay, well what was the breakup about?
6:33🔗
Breakup.
6:37🔗
No, he and I are currently stationed at two separate duty stations. I'm in Illinois and he's currently stationed in Germany.
6:51🔗
Caller
Yeah. Right now, we're due to get married in December and he's planning on taking leave and everything else has got plane tickets and everything.
6:59🔗
Drew
Do you feel okay about yourself sexually otherwise? Would you have shame about being sexual?
7:09🔗
Adam
Well, I think you should warn him because you might kill this man. He might be in trouble.
7:24🔗
Drew
Alright, antidepressant is the deal. Antidepressants sometimes will give you very bizarre dreams, out of character dreams, just weird ass, just vivid, weird dreams that are sometimes terribly, terribly disturbing. And yes, there's probably some sort of psychological basis to it, but the sort of intensity of the dream and the fact that you were crying all day, that's about the medication. Here's Ian for D.
7:49🔗
Drew
Just relax. You're just going to hurt a bit. Just pretend you're at the clinic. I'm putting on the glove.
8:10🔗
Caller
DL., I was just reading your bio a while back, and I saw that you were in the, you grew up in South Central, right? And like you were part of the blood, or you were part of a gang, right?
8:21🔗
Caller
And I was just wondering like, your experience with that and how you rose from that and became what you are right now.
8:27🔗
Adam
I think anybody that tells you that they rose from that, out of their own kind of devices and that they were just, I was just lucky and that was, that's pretty much it.
8:44🔗
Adam
You know what? I think that I always knew that there was something I could do and I always did. I never knew what it was. I never knew. But I always used to feel bad because I always used to be hanging with these cats that I knew couldn't do it but I always loved it.
8:57🔗
Drew
I'll tell you, you don't fit the usual profile of somebody like that. No. But I mean, because you could have a relationship for 20 years, you could send a daughter to Smith, you know what I mean? You already must have had a good family behind you or something.
9:08🔗
Adam
No, I think that sometimes you can understand, like, I was, to me, it was very dark when I grew up. Like, nobody talked about going to college. Nobody talked about what they would do when they grew up. Nobody talked about getting, but once I saw something that was real, like when I saw my wife, I knew I'd marry her right away.
9:32🔗
Adam
Yeah. It was like the, you know, green acres by us. It was like, wow, that's good. But I knew I'd marry her, and I knew that I just wanted to be something. I just kind of wanted to be something. I didn't know what it was.
9:45🔗
Caller
That's very cool. And I was also reading that, I'm not sure if this is a touchy subject, but like it also said that your cousin was shot or something related to that, and that had to do with it. I don't know if that was just a rumor or...
10:07🔗
Adam
When the funeral happened, I couldn't go to the funeral because my mother and father and it was just a bad thing.
10:17🔗
Adam
Well, we were really close, but I was from a different neighborhood and we were cousins and I would come over to his neighborhood and wear my colors. But I knew that he was my cousin and they knew he was my cousin. So it was cool. But then when he got killed, everybody was just a crazy time. And to not be able to say goodbye to somebody you love, I think that's something I always think about. I don't think that, you know, certainly not three or four days go by where I don't think about that.
10:48🔗
Adam
I don't know help or not. I think that to me, I just, I'm shaped more by things that I want to avoid than by things I want to have.
10:57🔗
What do you tell your kids?
11:04🔗
Adam
I try to be as honest as I can with my kids because I don't want them to look at it. The one thing that I always found disturbing was that life always appeared different than, life always seemed differently than it looked on TV. And like the appearance of, you know.
11:21🔗
Adam
Or the life that my parents tried to portray was always different than the life we actually lived. And I never wanted that for my kids.
11:29🔗
Adam
You could be a parent. My father was, he was from Georgia, but grew up in Ohio. My mother was from Virginia.
11:38🔗
Adam
And it was just, it was just, that's why I'm not anti, not anti-religion, I'm not anti-God, but I'm certainly anti-religion because it was a religious kind of, you know, weird kind of thing that we grew up in. I just...
11:55🔗
Adam
It was just like, the one experience that we would have is like we would all go to church together.
12:02🔗
Adam
But it wasn't real. I was like, this is... I don't get what this is. So I turned to the streets because it seemed real to me. It seemed... And, you know, I was never... Like I was always outcasting my family and it was just always the place I belonged. I always belonged.
12:22🔗
Adam
I had two sisters and one brother. Why did this turn to... Wait a minute, I didn't call.
12:25🔗
Drew
What the hell is this? What you said is you want to ease into it. I don't want you to be the subject. And they're all okay now? They're out?
12:33🔗
Adam
No, I think they're all broken. My whole family, they're all crazy. They are, they're all crazy. I think that the reason that I do what I do is because I get to be on stage and say what it is I have to say and I feel like that's cathartic for me.
12:50🔗
Adam
Look at you, Ian. You could have called in and said you had a rash or a bad dream, but no.
12:55🔗
No, you started with this.
12:59🔗
Hey, Drew.
13:01🔗
Caller
I was just commenting and I read your cracked book as a 16-year-old and I just thought that was the best book I've ever read.
13:18🔗
Drew
Good luck. All right, now we're going to get a little more on DL sort of. How do you like to be called?
13:35🔗
Drew
A piercing in your penis, yes. Like, I use this special condom. Imagine if it's in your penis, then you have it. Piercing my penis that I have. Go ahead.
13:47🔗
D. L. Hughley
Well, the special condoms that we're supposed to buy, because, you know, the normal ones will rip.
13:57🔗
It's called the warrum.
14:17🔗
Adam
Oh, well. Well, I've had experience with that, brother. And let me tell you, not what pierces or anything, but you're talking to, you know, just things I go through. You feel me?
14:29🔗
Adam
Yeah, you feel me? I just why would you? I don't have any medical advice or anything, but.
14:49🔗
D. L. Hughley
So you did it because the reason I have it like I don't see, you know, tattoos and piercings like, oh, look what I can do. No, I see it more as you know, in an art form. To me, my piercings are art.
15:05🔗
Drew
Here's what our brain does with why we behave is usually so much BS. Our behavior is what says everything. Our brain tries to make sense of it and make reasons for it. A man has a desire to know and make sense of. But we do certain things because of certain conditions. That's what makes us do stuff. And so what happened to you?
15:30🔗
I mean, to me, it's art.
15:34🔗
Drew
And so, you're asking for advice on what other kinds of condoms you might be able to use?
15:38🔗
Is that the question?
15:39🔗
D. L. Hughley
I mean, do I need to get a different kind of condom or just while I'm having sex, do I need to take it out?
15:46🔗
Drew
I don't see how you can. I understand. I'm not quite visualizing the piercing. You can take it out and put it back in again. It's that well epithelialized.
15:56🔗
Drew
Like the skin is skin through and through. You know, like if you have your pierced earring, there's a hole there that's well healed.
16:05🔗
Drew
Yeah. And is it sort of, is it across-wise, like across the penis? You know what I mean? It's not a hoop. It's a bar.
16:14🔗
D. L. Hughley
Yeah, it's a bar. It's pierced through the skin right below the urethra on the under, on the under.
16:21🔗
Drew
All right, got it. Got it. You know, I would definitely go to a piercing shop and ask their advice. I mean, those are the guys that have the best information about this kind of thing. I know that Trojan just came out with a new condom that has extra reinforced tip. And I was actually looking at that thinking, boy, I bet that will be good for piercings. So, but I wouldn't, I can't say that it is, but I would go ask the piercing guys about that, okay?
16:46🔗
All right, I can definitely do it.
16:47🔗
D. L. Hughley
Oh, and the thing about not wanting to get a better to, you know, touch you or anything just for thought, Dio, it was a hot Asian chick that did it.
16:55🔗
So they had a little coaxing right there.
17:17🔗
Drew
Sarah 19. Hi. Hey, Sarah. Oh, Sarah's up near where your daughter's at. She's in Hampshire. She's in Hampshire. New Hampshire. New Hampshire.
17:24🔗
Right.
17:28🔗
Basically, just what would cause lactating in a 19-year-old girl who is not pregnant?
17:38🔗
Um, it's mostly on one side and once a month when about when when Mother Nature hits, that's when it starts to be going on the left side.
17:53🔗
Drew
Uh, Sarah, the most common reason for that is medication. So are you on any medication? No.
17:58🔗
It's been doing this since I was 14.
18:00🔗
Drew
Hold on. The next reason would be thyroid conditions. No. Everything's fine. The next thing would be something called a prolactinoma or a tumor in the pituitary gland that produces prolactin. Have you had that checked?
18:12🔗
Uh, no.
18:13🔗
Drew
Okay. The next would be just, just actually irritation of the nipple, actually stimulating the, some women, just the stimulation of the nipple will actually cause a little breast milk production. And then finally, you need to make sure there are no structural problems like tumors and that kind of thing. That's obviously not your case because it's both sides and it's been five years. But you do need to see a doctor. The best thing would be to see an endocrinologist. They can really work on that and try to figure out why that's happening. It might be something important because those prolactin tumors need to be treated. They're quite treatable but they need to be treated. Jared 28.
18:42🔗
Hey, yeah, man.
18:45🔗
How you doing?
19:02🔗
Caller
Oh, no, I'm just I'm just like that. I'm not. I got I was asking him. I was worried about my sister. We're just good friends and stuff, but she's always wanting to. I'm pretty sure wanting to get me in the sack, you know.
19:20🔗
Adam
See, that's see what that see. Now, if I made a joke about Idaho, everybody see the racist, see, I mean, you're being sort of whatever you're being. I don't know if you could call it racist, but OK, yeah, I've been to Idaho, man, and I actually have. I played a gig and not poker teller. I've never been up there. I was in Boise.
19:42🔗
Adam
Yeah, and they had they the I was hanging out. I was working at a comedy club and they wanted to go tubing. I never know what that was.
19:52🔗
Adam
Yeah, no, in the water. In the water, go tubing. And I realized then that a lot of people had sisters who wanted to have sex with them.
20:02🔗
Adam
I said, well, you know, man, damn, what's next? Somebody's going to have to make love to their sister. But so when she does that, that seems kind of weird.
20:22🔗
Caller
I have some girlfriends and I don't know them. I'm wondering if they're wanting to hook me up. You know what I mean?
20:28🔗
Drew
Jared, either this is bogus or your sister has really severe psychiatric, psychological problems. And I'm a little worried about you that you'd consider for her.
21:05🔗
Drew
Go out with her girlfriends. Leave your sister alone, for god sakes. That's very sick, very sick. The fact that he can't... Where's the banjo music? Is Anderson there? No, thank you.
21:33🔗
What's going on?
21:44🔗
Wow.
21:46🔗
D. L. Hughley
Basically, what's going on is I've been working in the adult industry for a few years.
21:53🔗
Adam
Yeah. What's your name, man? Because I'm a big, because adult, you know what it is? Porn is just love stories with all the talk I'm taking out. And so, there's no porn I haven't seen. What is your porn name?
22:07🔗
No porn you haven't seen?
22:08🔗
Not one.
22:12🔗
I'm sorry?
22:16🔗
What kind of porn?
22:20🔗
Right.
22:22🔗
I do not. I mean, you wouldn't even know it if I told you.
22:28🔗
D. L. Hughley
The question is basically, this is I mean, I cannot basically like have any relationship with, you know, I mean, like I have a girl right now. We have, I mean, I don't know, we have sex, but it's just, it's I mean, it's not.
22:47🔗
I can't, I don't know, I cannot.
22:53🔗
Drew
You hang up on me? That's bogus. How about that? There you go. He can't, he can't keep his bogus call going. He can't write the script good enough, well enough. We're going to take a break. D.
23:05🔗
Drew
Hughley is our guest, or he is my co-host tonight. He's just getting his Hyman broken in here. He just, you know, he's B Hyman in his case. And he's here to answer your questions. Call in at 1-800-LOVE-191. D. L. Hughley is here as co-host tonight. And we're just, you know, in the break, we work on his problems, the mics around work, everybody else's problems. Good time.
23:31🔗
John.
23:34🔗
D. L. Hughley
Yeah, my girlfriend, she's been, I guess, pinching me off or whatever. That's what your, you mean, that's what your, whatever person said.
23:49🔗
D. L. Hughley
Well, when she's giving me a hand job, she won't let anything come out or something, yeah.
24:06🔗
Drew
There we go. And so you mean she grabs the tip of the penis and just like pinches it off like a balloon or something?
24:42🔗
Yeah.
24:43🔗
It's not really like a painful thing.
24:49🔗
But I just...
24:54🔗
Adam
Yeah. You could get another girlfriend. That's what could happen. Or, you know, that used to happen to me. But then I was going through this...
25:10🔗
Adam
But the only reason she might stop is maybe there was a ring that sounded like the police.
25:26🔗
Drew
She doesn't want to make a mess? Or what's the deal? It almost sounds like, John, you made this up. It's something you wanted to try. You want to couch it in terms of somebody else doing it to you.
25:39🔗
Wait, I made it up?
25:40🔗
Drew
Yeah, you thought, I wonder what would happen if I did pinch this off. I'll call Loveline and say my girlfriend does it and see what they say.
25:51🔗
Drew
Why don't you tell her not to... Go ahead and stop doing that. It's not good for you. You can cause all kinds of sort of irritations in the urethra and trouble with the prostate. It's a bad idea. If you must be extra cleanly like that, you can actually put pressure on the part between the anus and the scrotum.
26:09🔗
Drew
You can put pressure on the perineum back up in here and it will redirect the semen up into the bladder.
26:18🔗
Drew
I don't do anything like that. I'm just saying that people do that kind of stuff. It's much, much healthier. Things that need to come out of your body need to come out. When you sneeze, when you pee, when you have an ejaculation, it's common. And anything you do to interrupt that is not good for you, right?
26:33🔗
Adam
Right. You're going to mess around and blow a window out. I hope you don't do it in the car.
26:36🔗
Drew
Or your ear jobs. Like that cartoon where the big drums come out the side of his head or something.
26:45🔗
Drew
Nothing really. I mean, here's what will happen. It can cause some irritation and pressure and even some problems.
26:51🔗
Drew
It backs up, but it's still in the tube. It's in the chamber and it causes a lot of irritation and pressure and they're not good for it. And then it's coming out anyway. It's coming on out. It's just going to be under slow motion. All right. You're learning lots of good stuff here.
27:12🔗
Hello?
27:14🔗
Hey, what's up? I didn't think you were going to get me so soon.
27:22🔗
Well, I heard that Adam Corolla is not on anymore.
27:32🔗
So, it's just you, Dr. Drew, and who else is on right now?
27:55🔗
So, but no, I had a real question, actually. Like, I don't really listen to Loveline as much as other people do, but I really have a scary question that I have to answer.
28:07🔗
Well, me and my boyfriend went out with this guy for a long, long time. And then, like, all of a sudden, like, we just broke up, and I moved. And lately, I've been, like, eating. But I very eat. I kind of, like, throw out my food and stuff, because...
28:26🔗
Well, I'm on a cell phone.
28:31🔗
Drew
Yeah. Maybe just slow down. Don't move and slow down. So you broke up with your boyfriend, you're depressed, and so you're, what, you have an eating disorder that's become more active now?
28:44🔗
Well, I don't really know about those kind of things. All I know is that after I eat, I kind of make myself throw up and stuff. And I know it's bad for you and I just wanted to know, like, what I should do, like what, like who I should talk to and stuff.
28:58🔗
Drew
You need to talk to your doctor. This has about a one out of five chance of really harming you rather severely. And it's bulimia when you, when you binge and then you purge, you feel a need to purge and you have distorted body image. And really what happens, Vronik, is that the eating and this sort of all this purging and stuff becomes a way of managing overwhelming feeling states. It's very similar to addiction. Are you doing drugs too?
29:24🔗
No, no, no. Well, I do drink though. That's, I pretty much, I believe I do drink a lot.
29:32🔗
Drew
All right. So there you go. It all kind of goes together. When you have addiction, you have some trauma growing up, something happen?
29:38🔗
Well, when I used to go to raise and take drugs and stuff, but...
29:42🔗
Drew
I understand. So that's why I'm saying that bulimia and addiction go together very commonly.
29:47🔗
Drew
I'm just saying. And so, and also, you know, this sort of profile of a 20-year-old bulimic doing drugs is usually also sexual or physical abuse or neglect that's real bad. What happened?
29:59🔗
Um, I don't think anything. I had a pretty much good...
30:06🔗
No, not at all.
30:12🔗
Yeah, I have a great family and friends and yeah, my family's great. Like, there, um, wasn't Venti on earlier?
30:23🔗
Oh, okay. Well, because I don't know, I might have got confused, but I thought he was on and, well, he came from like a Christian background and so did I. So I was like, but, um, yeah, but so, so did I. And like, um, I had a great background and stuff.
30:39🔗
Drew
Veronica, here's what I know. It wasn't great. I'm sorry. I'm sure your parents are good. Your family's good people.
30:48🔗
Adam
And, man, let me tell you, everybody in my family is psychotic. Did you, like, I was just, like, I do a show on Comedy Central and one of the things I have to do is research. And the more religious you are, you know, there's a place in Plano, Texas that is very religious that made people sign these virginity clauses. And they have the highest STD rate, the highest teen pregnancy rate in the country. So I think that there is a direct correlation between somebody's idea of what religion is for you and what you do. I mean, to me, I mean, I know what it's like to be hit and hit hard. And I never ate because, you know, when you grow a pork with no food, the last thing you're going to do is throw it up. But I'll do something else, but I'm not wasting these pork chops. But I think that that's the one thing I see with people, is that they look back over their childhood and you go, man, it wasn't that great.
31:40🔗
Drew
It isn't. Once you start to really get objective about it. But here's the deal, you're in it, you're sort of enmeshed in it, it's hard to see it. Your question was, what can you do about it? You need to talk to your doctor, you should see a psychiatrist. If you're not willing to do any of that, get yourself to a 12-step meeting, an AA meeting, put your hand up as a newcomer and say, I want to stop this, I want to stop drinking and see what kind of support you get. Get a sponsor, work the steps. At least do that. There's a lot of work that needs to be done here. I treat a lot of Veronica's, I treat a lot of that. And it's a common condition, but it's quite serious. The combination of problems you have really have a very serious prognosis. So let's take care of this, all right? All right, this is Megan. This is something more fun. This is a D.
32:21🔗
Hello?
32:23🔗
Hi.
32:26🔗
I have not been able to have orgasm in quite some time.
32:34🔗
No, I'm actually, it's been, okay, not that I'm a bad person or anything, but through three different guys now and, okay, that sounds bad, but it's not that bad.
32:48🔗
I'm from myself as well. I'm from the Seattle area of Washington.
32:52🔗
Adam
Seattle? That's the problem. You got to move down to Inglewood. It'll never happen in Seattle. Let me tell you, they got that great fish market, but that's pretty much it. Get out of Seattle, baby.
33:06🔗
Do you have any other advice besides move to Inglewood?
33:19🔗
Well, the only things that I can really relate to it or that have been coinciding with this is, I just had a son two years ago, but I was still able to reach orgasm for, I don't know, maybe a year after that. So I don't know if it was necessarily that, although I have heard that having a child can change that.
33:42🔗
Yeah, it was. It was all normal.
33:44🔗
Yeah, hold on.
33:45🔗
Drew
Hold on. And were you, did you used to have difficulty having orgasm or was it very easy for you?
33:49🔗
No, I used to have them really easy.
33:51🔗
Really easy.
33:52🔗
In 20 minutes I could have three.
33:53🔗
No kidding.
33:55🔗
Yeah, no.
33:59🔗
Drew
Not just your own, but a couple other girls in the neighborhood all use them, too. I know.
34:02🔗
I feel bad, but.
34:03🔗
Drew
And are you, are you, are you, now I gotta kinda get this squared. There's some women that have sequential orgasms, two or three, one after the other, but some women have them just rapid fire. Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.
34:13🔗
No, no, no, no, like I'd have one and then we'd keep going.
34:16🔗
And then I have another.
34:25🔗
Drew
Well, there's some that have just one after the other. And that woman doesn't like oral sex. They're not like it. To it doesn't feel good. This one kind of goes, prefers intercourse, but oral sex sometimes. Okay. And then there are those that only orgasm with oral sex. And that's most women.
34:41🔗
Because I would say I was the opposite on that. I can orgasm on sex. And myself, I could.
34:46🔗
But with oral sex, I didn't.
34:48🔗
Didn't like it. Rarely.
34:53🔗
Adam
You know what I find very interesting is that the more, I think, you know, the older you get, the more into, I think, just enjoying somebody's company and the more into them you are.
35:07🔗
Adam
Well, no, no, no, baby. Hey, you know, I'm not Adam. This is me, okay? I'm saying that the more that she enjoyed, the more that I think the more a woman sees you enjoying yourself. The fact that you're actually enjoying her is I think that I know with me, if I think about it all the time, if I'm obsessed with it, if I realize it doesn't happen, it's that much harder to happen.
35:30🔗
Drew
No, absolutely. Taking the heat off the orgasm per se. But this really is when you orgasm easy, more orgasmic. The most common reason for a switch like that make me medication. You want any new meds?
35:40🔗
I haven't been taking anything.
35:46🔗
The NuvaRing. The NuvaRing.
35:48🔗
There you go. Also, I've been having insomnia issues. I have not been able to sleep.
35:57🔗
Yeah. I'm thinking that might be an issue. I haven't actually had a doctor tell me that, but I've talked to my actual doctor and he said it might be an issue.
36:06🔗
Drew
You understand. I'm talking to you for three minutes and 50 seconds here, but let me put this together for a little bit. The NuvaRing usually doesn't have an effect on this because it's absorbed through the wall of the vagina, so it doesn't have that pass through the liver that something you take by mouth would, so it doesn't change the levels of testosterone as much and the things that would affect orgasm, but any hormone is going to affect orgasm, so it could be your NuvaRing. Secondly, having had a vaginal delivery can change the architecture down there. People like you, oftentimes, not often, I've had women complain like you, they're multi-orgasmic, after vaginal delivery, everything's different, you have to relearn it all again. That could be you, too. You add in now the fact that, are you breastfeeding, too?
36:46🔗
No, he's two, and I never really did.
36:48🔗
Drew
All right, good. You add into that the fact that you might have a little depression, it's hard to be a mom, you're overwhelmed by things. I mean, you add all those things up and you've got a bunch of things that need to be kind of dealt with, so you need to go back to your doctor and really talk about these things. But remember that if you get your depression treated, the antidepressant medicines, the serotonin reuptake inhibitors, like Paxon Prozac, Zoloft, All-Stout, Lexapro, they shut you down too. So you got to be really careful. You may want to use something more like Wellbutrin.
37:22🔗
Drew
L. Hughley is the guest. The phone number here, 1-800-LOVE-191. He wants to talk to you about your orgasms and the rashes. Those are going to be his favorite topic.
37:33🔗
Drew
Just orgasms. He wants more orgasm call. Again, call us in at 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back. Co-host tonight is D. L. Hughley.
37:58🔗
D. L. Hughley
Hi. My question is, the last few years, any relationship that I pursue seems to be with a woman who either comes out or is a lesbian. It's just a strange pattern that has been very prominent the last few years.
38:13🔗
Drew
Okay. Let me ask you something. This is going to sound bizarre, but this happens to people. The only correlation I have found with that, and I'm going to ask you the question, the one pattern that I've seen with this, and it may or may not have anything to do with you, but did your mom ever used to tell you, I wish you were a girl, we were expecting a girl? Anything like that?
38:39🔗
Drew
I've seen that a lot with women who are attracted to go around, lots of gay men. They will be told, we were supposed to get a boy. I wish you'd been a boy. And for whatever reason, that ends up being this pattern.
38:57🔗
D. L. Hughley
I mean, it's only the last few years it's become that way. It wasn't previously that way at all.
39:09🔗
That's particularly why it's confusing.
39:24🔗
Drew
It's fascinating, huh? Is that men that have the operation to become a woman, most commonly do that to have lesbian relationships.
39:39🔗
Drew
They're a man, they become a woman to be with women. But the only way you can be with lesbians is if you're a woman.
39:50🔗
Adam
Put that in your life. That's like taking the pipe away. So this depresses you, all the women, because that would be... Like I said, that's the basis of many of my favorite movies.
40:03🔗
D. L. Hughley
Well, I mean, actually, one of the women, I think the first one in the series of lesbian women...
40:13🔗
D. L. Hughley
Well, I had them. They're not a great deal of them, but a few. And I guess the first one in the pattern actually ended up being my first. So...
40:44🔗
Adam
Oh, okay. And you waited till you were 24? Were you saving up to be something? I mean...
40:49🔗
It wasn't...
40:50🔗
D. L. Hughley
I just didn't feel right until that very moment. So, yeah, it wasn't my problem.
40:56🔗
D. L. Hughley
I didn't have it on my pride, mantelpiece or anything. I just wanted to wait until I wanted to do it on my own.
41:02🔗
Drew
You know, I have sort of turning over all the cards here. I don't have anything other than gender identity issues.
41:11🔗
Adam
You've only been having sex for three years, right? Right. And you've had how many partners? Four, five, three?
41:19🔗
Drew
I get the distinct feeling, though, of some sort of fear of women and closeness and stuff. There's anxiety about that. And naturally, just like women that go for gay men, they go for the unavailable so they don't have to worry about actually getting involved with them because it's never going to happen. That's something that people do as a way of sort of protecting themselves from intimacy. So, you know, go ahead and date more.
41:54🔗
Yeah.
41:57🔗
Not much.
41:58🔗
Drew
It's Dr. Drew here. And D. L. Hughley is co-host. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Go ahead.
42:05🔗
You know, I just had questions about orgasms.
42:07🔗
I think I'm kind of confused.
42:13🔗
I've always kind of assumed that there were two different kinds, like the kind that I can give myself, you know, through manual simulation, versus the kind I have with a guy. And they're totally different. And I just want to know, you know, am I just not having one with a guy?
42:28🔗
Am I just...
42:29🔗
D. L. Hughley
I'm just confused. I don't know if I've ever actually had one with a guy, because the one I can give myself is so much better.
42:39🔗
Adam
The one that you can give yourself may be better, but it doesn't come with dinner, usually. And that's a tough sale.
42:48🔗
Yeah, but to me, it's two different places, you know?
42:52🔗
It's like the clitoral, or there's one, like, inside, when you're having...
42:56🔗
Drew
Yeah, but most of them don't have orgasm with intercourse. They can't do it. They're not wired that way. And so you either have to hand off the vibrator to him, or ask him to do some oral sex.
43:09🔗
Like, I feel one, like, in the clitoris.
43:12🔗
And then there's something else, that, like, when I'm with a guy, it gets to feel really good at one point, and then it kind of fades off.
43:24🔗
Drew
That's not an orgasm. Well, an orgasm is what you feel when you do the thing on your clitoris. That's an orgasm. That's, and that's what needs to be done when the guy is there, too, in order to have the orgasm when you're with him. I mean, guys, things are different, men and women are. Men, if there was no orgasm, they would not be like, we ain't done. But women can have something called receptivity. Just an experience of being somebody in them and having that arousal and it going away, and that's good enough without an orgasm. There's a guy doing lots of research right now and functional MRI scans of men versus women in terms of their sexual responsiveness and response to visual images and things. And he said, he goes, if you take a man, man's like a box with an on-off switch in it.
44:06🔗
Drew
There's all kinds of stuff going on, and different things at different times of day. It's of course, lots of different things that you can experience as a woman. You're much more diverse, much more complex.
44:21🔗
I have a good time, but wow, that's like... So I've never had one with a guy.
44:28🔗
Drew
Right. You need to get the guy involved with this in a more direct way, and not think, not keep hoping that someday we have an orgasm with intercourse, because 60% of women do not. D. L. Hughley is the guest, the phone number, 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. I kind of get out of habit of calling you guys guests. You're the co-host tonight. And you're having a good time talking about orgasms.
44:48🔗
Let's do the threesome call.
44:49🔗
Drew
Well, we got to take a break. It's cool out for a couple of seconds. We'll be right back. D.
44:53🔗
Drew
Hughley is co-host tonight on Love Line 1-800-L-O-V-E. I'm Dr. Drew. You're going to write to call us. How about it?
45:01🔗
Drew
That's the fear of one has. That if all musicians that I treat are fearful of that, that if I get them off the drugs, they're going to lose their creativity.
45:09🔗
Drew
Yeah, they're so f'ed up on heroin, they can't breathe. I can't let that get in your way. All right, Jen, 19.
45:19🔗
Hi.
45:23🔗
So I'm bisexual and I have a boyfriend and he will tell me that when I first told him that I was bisexual, he was really psyched out about it. And he asked me if I would be OK doing a threesome. And I said, yeah, it would be fine. Yeah, sure.
45:45🔗
Drew
And by the way, there was a study that came out about young people's sexual behaviors. And the one thing that has gone up steadily recently is a female same sex unions. Lesbians have gone up, up, up, up.
45:58🔗
I've noticed that too.
45:59🔗
Adam
And I love you. I can just say that I could tell right now that I adore you. I think you're wonderful.
46:08🔗
Thank you.
46:10🔗
But so anyway, it's my boyfriend where whenever I point out, like, OK, I think this girl is hot. What do you think? I'll be like, yeah, sure. But it almost seems like he gets jealous if we were talking about actually going through with it.
46:33🔗
Drew
Yeah, it makes sense. I mean, guys, especially young guys, got a lot of energy like that. And just you being turned on by somebody else, even if it's your friend, some bowser, that's going to buy some things like that really are a lot better in theory than they are in actual practicality. Almost always threesomes are much better as a fantasy than as a real thing.
46:56🔗
Drew
You're absolutely right. If you're just goofing around, don't have to correct me on this, if you're just goofing around and you're a college freshman or something, you're experimenting, whatever. But if you're with somebody you want to spend some time with, maybe that's going to screw it up. That image is always going to be there, especially if it's a man, you're just blazed in your head.
47:13🔗
Adam
It's never, it's never been something I wanted to do with somebody I love. Right. Always somebody I love.
47:19🔗
Well, I definitely love him and like he said that it would be okay if it was just purely sexual. And I think that's just the main thing.
47:35🔗
Drew
Yeah. I'm confused. Well, let me get this right. You're driving the thing to have a threesome, right? Even though he started out thinking it was the greatest thing. You're now driving it. Is that right? Yeah. Go ahead. This relationship is doomed, doomed. And you're hell bent on dooming it.
47:57🔗
Drew
He's bringing it back because you don't like, you don't like closeness. You don't like stability. You got to bring some chaos in here. So you're you're you're hell bent on it. You know what I'm saying? That's what it feels like to me. That's fine. You don't want to have a relationship. That's fine. But you're going to you're going to sabotage this one because he's kind of told you, you see that it's uncomfortable for him. You see that it's a fantasy that it's not real. He's jealous and uncomfortable. Yet you're hell bent on bringing this in. Fine. That's more important to you than a relationship. Fine. That's going to screw it up. Just understand that's what's going to-
48:24🔗
So I should definitely leave it alone.
48:28🔗
Drew
You can do what you're going to do if you want. But I'm not telling you what to do. But if you want this relationship to survive, I can see the handwriting on the wall magically. Ain't going to make it if you have a threesome. Jay23.
48:38🔗
Yeah, what's up?
48:41🔗
Not too much. So my girlfriend, you know, I was I was kind of thinking about it because of you were talking about to the other girl about difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms and everything.
48:51🔗
Drew
Well, yeah, when DL asked for it, he made a plea for more orgasm calls. We haven't had enough yet.
49:09🔗
Hi, I've got to go out with this girl for about a year now. And in the last four months, she's been starting to just see another guy friend that she has kind of having sexual fantasies about him. And I'm just kind of wondering. And she she's wanting to stay with me and she's going to a therapist about it. And I'm just wondering if there's something I can do to help or if I should be kind of giving up or wait.
49:33🔗
Yeah.
49:36🔗
Yeah.
49:38🔗
Well, she seems really like distraught about it and like doesn't know how to how to like deal with this.
49:49🔗
Adam
I think that that is the weirdest thing. So she says I want to. Yeah, I want to mess around. Does she like she does she name the guys?
49:59🔗
Yeah, she'll tell me who they are.
50:02🔗
Drew
She's going to name some names. Here's the thing. This is part of the focus call. She wants to have blah, blah with blah, blah.
50:08🔗
Caller
And then those guys are listed and say, no, well, it's kind of like she'll be like, you know, like one of our friends will be like, I know this guy. She's like, I just kind of like, I'm starting to wonder, you know, like, should I be with somebody else? Is there somebody else better than you are?
50:29🔗
Adam
You need to leave this brad alone. No, there's somebody better than you are. You see need to be so gone. And you know what? Just for you, I don't normally do this. Have her call me here. I'll fix it for you.
50:59🔗
Drew
Or who you're attracted to, what kind of girls you go after, because that's, you might be stacking the deck. I got to wonder about somebody that, as opposed to breaking up, has to throw it in your face like.
51:10🔗
Drew
I bet there's better guys than you. Look at this guy. He looks much, look at that guy. What a pain in the ass.
51:25🔗
D. L. Hughley
I just recently found out that my girlfriend got tested positive for gonorrhea, and she went in because she found out that she was pregnant. She's about four months pregnant now, and she-
51:46🔗
Yeah.
51:53🔗
Hey, doc, this is-
52:07🔗
D. L. Hughley
No. Okay, look, me and her met when I was locked up because she was locked up too and we just-
52:17🔗
D. L. Hughley
Yeah. Well, I got out and we started messing around and she got pregnant and she got tested because she requested HIV test and it came out positive for gonorrhea. So I'm guessing obviously I have it. So when the nurse told her that you can get it through having sex on your period or having sex and you have to urinate. But I mean, that sounds kind of odd because when you're locked up, they give you sex every other month. And I mean, I've never heard anything like that.
52:54🔗
Drew
Never stops. You get it from oral sex. You get it from intercourse. It's you get it. Period. Anytime. Nothing to do with anything else.
53:01🔗
D. L. Hughley
On my birthday, like right when I got out, I was like right on my birthday, my girlfriend wanted to do something special because we were on the run and I got head in her friend.
53:11🔗
And her friend?
53:18🔗
Adam
No, not for me, man. I'm digging this, man. So you got her and her friend. Well, maybe her friend had it and she spread it around, you know.
53:29🔗
D. L. Hughley
See, one of the things is, if I've had it before I've been with her, I mean, I wouldn't have known because, I mean, I haven't been any of this. I haven't had any of the side effects. I mean, like, maybe every now and then, I'll, like, Bryson, Bry, slow down.
54:08🔗
Adam
Oh, man, I was 16 years old. This cat, why am I telling my story? What the hell is this?
54:19🔗
Adam
I couldn't talk to my mother-in-law, so I went across the street to my next door neighbor. He took me down to the free clinic. I'm telling you, it hurt so bad, I would literally almost pass out.
54:29🔗
Adam
Oh, man. It's a sweet girl named Peggy. Who would have thought? I do a joke about this on stage, but I had to take a shot and some peels.
54:43🔗
Drew
Well, it's non-gonococcal or nonspecific urethritis. It really isn't gonorrhea, but it's all the same.
54:56🔗
Making tea.
54:59🔗
Oh, my God.
55:06🔗
Drew
So you get a whitish discharge and that shows up in your underwear. It's sometimes going to be a little yellow. And then how long after the intercourse did it start to show up?
55:15🔗
Drew
Three days. Sometimes it will start the next day with a little bit of stinging, a little bit like, what's going on here?
55:27🔗
Adam
I was like, man, I would almost literally almost pass up. I would put my penis in water. That's not bad. I'm 60. And you 60 years old, you can't even tell your father what happened. And you can't even. I had to go across the street. So I believe me, I've had an experience or two.
55:48🔗
Drew
All right. And that's that's all the other one. But the other one, you went got fixed right away. You knew it was coming.
55:53🔗
Yeah, that was a pro.
55:58🔗
Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
56:04🔗
Caller
Oh, my gosh. Hey, you guys, I love your show. And I feel like I am an old lady in many respects. But Mr. DL. Hughley, you look so fantastic in your suits on your show.
56:27🔗
Caller
Yeah. But that's my comment. I had a comment about Dr. Drew. You're making, in regards to women not being able to have orgasms through No, we didn't talk about not being, yeah, yeah, three intercourse, right? But you bring up oral sex mostly as the alternative, but what about self-stimulation at, you know, while you're in the act?
56:48🔗
Drew
Because we were talking about a, absolutely, or what I did tell her was bring the vibrator into the act.
57:01🔗
Drew
Yeah, or your hand is great. A lot of women feel, it's, this, I will tell you that a lot of women cannot have an orgasm during penetration. It just, it's inhibitory in some ways. So even stimulatory couturists during penetration doesn't work very well. There has to be, because they have to, you know, they have to do some things with their muscles and things that's hard to do with this, a penis in the way.
57:23🔗
Drew
Yeah, so I can go ahead and have an orgasm. And so, again, different women are different, they each have to find out their own thing. And what we had a call last night where a girl was normal and had an orgasm with intercourse with oral sex and was feeling so flawed. No, actually she had it with intercourse and felt bad that she couldn't have a series. Like when she had an orgasm she felt satisfied and wanted to stop. Like that was something wrong with that.
58:16🔗
Caller
I can be like in my vehicle and the vibration alone, I can look at a pole and be like, wow. I'm like, that's it, I'm already gone. And like, when I'm at home, when I'm with my husband, I'll get on top of him and I'll just like start messing with myself and I'll be like, he's gone already, you know, and I love the feel of him inside of me, but like, I can't stop it, you know, like he can't last very long. And so I'm like, after he's already gone, I'm sitting here going, oh, damn, how long is it going to take? And he's like, well, it'll take me like, you know, five more minutes, I swear. And then it'll take him like 45 minutes to go again. And by then I'm sitting here going, damn, what's on TV tonight? He's like, you know, I mean, you're special.
58:57🔗
Adam
You really let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. You're special and don't ever change. Let me, let me tell you. I wish they made a million of you. I don't know how many times I've fallen in love on this show, but whatever I said to anybody else, you've topped them all.
59:17🔗
Adam
Are you kidding me? A poll? I used to have a friend who she said, like, you could talk to her and she'd have orgasm.
59:24🔗
Drew
Yeah. And you know what Nicole Richie told us? If she, if she sits on a cold bathroom floor, she'll have an orgasm.
59:33🔗
Caller
It doesn't even have to be a poll. It can be a pretty flower. And I'm like, wow, that is so cool.
59:50🔗
He's packing it in right now.
59:51🔗
Adam
No, just come on. I'm from California. Maybe it's a small town. Is it called Inglewood? Is it up north?
1:00:04🔗
Adam
Modesto. Oh yeah, that'll explain it. All I got is raisins and almonds. Of course. So you're multi-orgasmic.
1:00:14🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, my friend told me that it's because I'm a big woman. Big women tend to be more orgasmic than single women.
1:00:22🔗
Adam
Oh, hey, let me tell you something. I love big women. I do. I promise. It's something we play wrestle. You ever, like, you ever play wrestle with somebody, Doc, and they pin you down and you really can't get up, and you go, girl, stop playing, but you really couldn't get up anyway? Yeah. I've had that happen, but I still love you, and I love you more now.
1:00:40🔗
Drew
So, Ann, here's the deal. This is a common, a common, you're easily orgasmic is the thing, and a common situation in many relationship is sort of this mismatch of what it takes to get to orgasm, how often you guys want to have it versus the other, you know, you know what I mean? This is a common thing. You got to negotiate this. You got to figure it out. Maybe your husband-
1:01:01🔗
Drew
But you're kidding me, your husband needs to sort of bring himself along a little bit before you have intercourse, you know what I'm saying? And maybe you need to sort of find ways to have an orgasm first so you're not so quickly together.
1:01:14🔗
Drew
Just like a guy who has a premature ejaculation, so he might have orgasm too quickly in situations like this. There actually will be a medication coming out within six months.
1:01:24🔗
Drew
Well, it's a physician. But it actually could prolong time to orgasm and it's a very short-acting medicine that's out of your system in a few minutes. So it's just for sex and it's going to be interesting. Think that's funny?
1:01:41🔗
This is your comma fan.
1:01:42🔗
Drew
Depoxetine is the medicine. It doesn't have a name yet. Abbreviate. Abbreviate. All right, let's take an interesting call. Here's Robert 19. Robert.
1:02:04🔗
Caller
Yeah. And I was wondering if I could do anything because like I was watching The Man Show and like I seen like the man pond and I don't want to have to do something like that. I was wondering if there's a medication for it.
1:02:18🔗
Drew
When you, oh, I see, I see. When you lose sweat glands apart of your body, you have to compensate by sweating elsewhere and your body needs to do that to dissipate heat. So yes, there are medicines and there are creams and stuff if you want to sort of get it off your forehead and that kind of thing. Something called Xerac, for instance. But generally speaking, you let your body do what it needs to do to deal with the injury it's had. All right, we're going to play a game. Okay. This is a game called Germany or Florida. Let's hear a little theme song in Germany or Florida, first of all. Can we do that? You don't have it. All right, fantastic.
1:02:51🔗
Drew
Here's the deal. Jimmy Kimmel's writer's table, they sit around, they try to dream up things for the show. Don't play it right now, hold on a second. They're culling through weird stories and stuff and they realize that every time, this is Adam, Adam realized this, that every time some macabre weird sexual story would come up about a guy slicing and dicing his penis or eating his toes or something, Germany or Florida, every time. That's where the stories come from. So our callers call in, they give us the weird story and we tell them, is it from Germany or Florida. So let's hear the theme song. All right, there you go. All right, Seth, line two. What's going on, Seth? 23.
1:03:33🔗
Caller
Hey, first of all, I'd like to say Dr. Drew, it's an honor and a privilege to speak to you. I read crack that most of my fans should pick that up if they're really true fans. He's been a huge fan since Def Jam. I'm really proud to see you succeed, bro.
1:03:48🔗
Caller
Also, I might add that, you know, you two are doing a great job right now. You guys are like Bacardi and Cola radio.
1:03:58🔗
Caller
All right. Germany, let's roll it up. A woman was awarded $7,000 dental malpractice lawsuit. Apparently, she needed seven root canals performed and her dentist wanted to go on vacation. Each root canal would need to be operated a week between the next. Since the amount of anesthesia needed to perform the seven root canals would kill her, the doctor poured her full glasses of scotch between each tooth. After days of excruciating pain following the procedure, she took her dentist to court and was awarded $1,000 per each tooth. Germany or Florida?
1:04:28🔗
Drew
I'm going to say Florida because I can't imagine that with that kind of behavior, the doctor, the dentist wouldn't get put in jail in Florida and it would not be $7,000. It would be like a $700,000.
1:04:52🔗
Drew
I was in Florida last weekend. I was in Miami. I thought, oh, the city has got some funky sort of feel about it, right?
1:05:03🔗
Adam
Yeah. I'm telling you, I'm a pretty open-minded guy. Whenever I go to Florida or New Orleans, I'm like, wow, the devil lives here.
1:05:27🔗
Drew
We're done with the rashes. We're peeing fire, sprinkling a little threesome action if you're into that.
1:05:32🔗
Drew
L is into that. But otherwise, just orgasms all the time. We'll be right back. Loveline, D. L. Hughley, co-hosting 1-800-LOVE-191. Here goes D. L. All orgasm all the time. Tina, 23.
1:05:49🔗
Caller
And I don't know if it's like mental or how you're raised, but when I was younger, I would only have orgasms when I had intercourse. And then when I got married, I wouldn't have them at all. And then I like started cheating on my husband. And then I could have orgasms with my boyfriend, both oral and intercourse.
1:06:16🔗
Drew
Yeah, this isn't an orgasm question. This is about relationships. I mean, why did you get married?
1:06:42🔗
Drew
Well, marriage means something dangerous to you, or closeness means something dangerous. So, you have to sabotage everything. Unless he's an a-hole and just not available to you the way you need him, did he turn into some sort of jerk?
1:07:02🔗
Caller
Um, he seemed to. He kind of like started playing computer all the time and not really, you know.
1:07:17🔗
Drew
Yeah, it's smacks of trouble on both partners' side. In other words, he was ignoring you and not sort of paying attention to your emotional needs. Women cheat because of that. Men cheat because whatever. Women cheat because they aren't getting their emotional needs met. The guys will say, I don't understand what happened. One day she's just shacked up with another guy and you talk to the woman, she'll say, I've been telling him for two years, he's been at the computer there, I need to spend some time with him. He never, he doesn't hear me, doesn't listen.
1:07:43🔗
Adam
Yeah, but then they don't even get to spend time with the guys, like a couple of minutes at a hotel in a car or something.
1:07:53🔗
Adam
Does he ever worry about you doing the same thing to him? Does he ever worry about that?
1:08:17🔗
Drew
My mom's a crazy one. Were you angry with your dad for staying with your mom or not protecting you from your mom or something?
1:08:25🔗
Caller
Probably kind of. I mean, my mom's like really religious and you know, psycho. So I don't know if I...
1:08:33🔗
Drew
Well, dad's married to her, so we can't be that well put together. And it's not uncommon for people to feel very resentful of the other parent for not protecting the person, the individual from the craziness.
1:08:49🔗
Drew
So Tina, if you ever want to have stable... This is not about orgasm, okay? This is not at all about that. The orgasm is certainly a hint for you of where the relationships are going. If you ever want to...
1:09:02🔗
Drew
If you want to have a stable relationship, you got to get some therapy. You got to see a mental health professional because this is... You got to learn to have stable relationships and trust them and understand what intimacy is all about. This is Erica, who's 19. Erica, what's going on?
1:09:15🔗
Caller
Hey. So you're talking about orgasms, and I just have a story. When I'm having an orgasm during sex, I pee a little bit.
1:09:30🔗
Drew
Well, go ahead. DL kind of likes this sort of thing. Not the urine, not necessarily. Because that's not usually pee, by the way.
1:10:06🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, I could say, well, I don't use a freaky little thing. No, I'm just kidding. It's no, you're just one of the gifted ones. That's what it is.
1:10:20🔗
Adam
Absolutely, guys. So you've actually had a guy, you've done, well, I actually, has that ever turned anybody off? Because I don't think that would.
1:10:28🔗
Adam
Of course he does. Does he try to make you hit targets? Does he put up like bulls-eyes or?
1:10:40🔗
Adam
You haven't lived, you played, hit the pitcher. As it's never happened. Like, is it a stream or just like it just a splash?
1:10:49🔗
Caller
Well, no, yeah, like it is a mixture, obviously, but you can tell. And I know it feels like I'm peeing. Like, there's a difference. Like, it like I feel like I'm about to pee. And then I but then I can like you can tell that I peed.
1:11:04🔗
Drew
All right. Well, here's the deal. There's two things that happen. One is something called female orgasmic incontinence, which is actually when you unload your pee. But usually that's a pretty big volume and it goes all over the place.
1:11:16🔗
Drew
Yeah. And usually women are distressed by that. It's not usually a happy thing so much. You know, I've had patients. There's operations to help with that. There's all kinds of there's medication, things to help. Because that one couple of throwing down tarps and it's still going off both sides and stuff.
1:11:34🔗
Drew
Take up water sports are always fun. But the other thing is female ejaculation, which is a different sort of glandular materials could be able to urine in there. That's mostly what happens with a woman orgasm is the ejaculation. I think that's what you're describing here and that's what the guys like the best I suspect.
1:11:49🔗
Adam
Absolutely. Yeah. But in lieu of that, till you get this operation, play a game called Hit the Target.
1:12:00🔗
Drew
Most women that have orgasmic incontinence have had babies and stuff and so things are kind of falling down and it's hard to control the bladders. Marcy, 30.
1:12:15🔗
Drew
It's a great question and I'm not sure, I can answer that with accuracy. I'm not sure anyone really can. There are many things that contribute to that. And there's, here's the average situation is that most women don't have orgasm until they're in their early 20s. They just don't have it. It's just like they're not coming online. And they describe it in all kinds of different ways like, well I didn't really feel open. I think their brain just doesn't integrate all the different mechanisms that are necessary for them to have that function. They need to be able to feel intimate and feel secure about themselves and feel all these things that guys don't need to feel anything. They can be doing it at a funeral. And it takes a while to sort of master all of that. I'm just saying. And as such, it takes a while to get it sort of mastered under way. And again, there's a huge diversity amongst women. Some start having orgasms at six, some at 12, but most aren't really having it. And then, even then, most don't have it with intercourse as we talked about. So there's this sort of process of it sort of awakening, coming online, learning about it, figuring out which category you kind of fit in, finding out how to help get a partner who is usually kind of lame because he's 20 years old, how to get it, bring him along to help you with this too. And then how do you masturbate and how does that do you masturbate? Does that feel okay to you? And then later on, it can go a bunch of different ways too, because you start having changes in your estrogen production, your progesterone production, and your testosterone production as you head towards menopause. And some women, the testosterone kind of goes up relative to estrogen, so they start having more sex drive and more orgasm. Some women, as they head towards menopause, it gets a lot worse. So there's actually a lot of research now directed towards giving women not just estrogen replacement, but testosterone replacement to try to help them with their sex drive and orgasm function. It's complicated, as there's circulating proteins and where the hormones bind, and there's changes in the architecture of the anatomy of the vulva and what not after childbirth. There's a lot of things that come to bear in that area.
1:14:22🔗
Caller
Well, I've been with my husband since I was 17. We've been together 13 years. And in the beginning, sex was, it was fun, of course, but orgasms were more manually stimulated from the outside. And now that I'm older, it's like I don't need the foreplay as much. I don't need all of the buildup. It's like the entry and the orgasm is just like so intense.
1:15:03🔗
Adam
You know, when you've been married that long, sex get to be like aerobics. You know, you do this to me, two, three, four. I do this to you, two, three, four.
1:15:26🔗
Adam
Well, she's kind of hard to beat her. That's biblical, what she does. But it just like, to me, it's like you probably got a lot of, they're four kids and a lot of stuff to do and you just kind of know what you like and...
1:15:39🔗
Drew
Right, so in addition to those complex biological changes I was mentioning, there's again, architectural and anatomic changes and it's all these psychological changes and interpersonal changes. You kind of know each other, you know the equipment and so...
1:16:00🔗
Hi.
1:16:03🔗
Okay, so I'm 15. I have three bisexual friends, girls, two of which who I know their first female crush was me. On top of this, I have like... I don't know if this is weird because all of my friends are like really getting into serious relationships and everything like the first person who told me she was bi and liked me is now going on eight months with her boyfriend and I'm just sitting here like with no desire for any relationships.
1:16:36🔗
Adam
I have a 15 or she's 14, she'll be 15. And it is funny how you hear the same kinds of stories. I think that when you're 15, honestly, you don't know what you are and you don't know what...
1:16:48🔗
Drew
It's protective not to go after stuff. You're going to make choices and get involved in stuff you don't belong in.
1:16:53🔗
Adam
And all you do is what... You know, I'm not a clinical doctor or anything. All you do is what you feel comfortable handling. You're perfectly normal for not wanting to do anything that you're not comfortable with.
1:17:06🔗
That's normal. I don't think I'm strange for that, but I feel pressured and I don't know how to deal with that.
1:17:14🔗
Do you have a what?
1:17:22🔗
Adam
I wait till the book comes out. But I think that when you are in that situation, you always have to have somebody that you could talk to, somebody you can always...
1:17:29🔗
My dad, like, there's other stuff, like I said, my home, my family situation is really, really quite ridiculous.
1:17:39🔗
What?
1:17:41🔗
Well, there was a lot of, a lot of severe trauma dealing with school for my brother. And for the three years that that went on, it ended up in litigation with the middle school, the public middle school in my town. And it happened to be three years that I was in the middle school. And the, just the whole situation, the stress and the trauma totally shredded my family. And like, it's a miracle that my parents aren't divorced, but my relationship with my dad, which was at one time like better than anything I could have ever dreamed of, has completely gone to the dumps.
1:18:21🔗
Well, it's gotten so severe that it's affecting me, like my mental state, and I'm taking medical leave from school for it.
1:18:30🔗
Well, yes and no. My first meeting scheduled is tomorrow with her.
1:18:35🔗
Drew
Alright, alright, so you're taking the right steps. Hopefully they'll come into some of the sessions with you.
1:18:39🔗
Adam
I gotta say, and I'm not a doctor, and I'm not trying to say anything insane, you sound so strong to me. Like, I would never know that you sound so...
1:18:50🔗
Adam
Smart and well-adjusted. I mean, I wish my daughter could talk to you. Give me your number.
1:18:55🔗
Drew
But, Deb, the deal is, though, because you feel so powerless and such a wash in this emotional turmoil, you are vulnerable to the pressures of your peers. And if you had somebody that you felt was there for you, whom you could talk to, you felt supported and felt that you didn't need to do these things to sort of feel better, you'd be less likely to do these things. These are all bad ideas. The fact that you're not interested in relationships is a healthy thing, a good thing. Can you talk to your mom?
1:19:23🔗
She was born in Kiev, Ukraine, so it's kind of like hard for her to relate.
1:19:29🔗
Can't really understand because she's in a completely different culture.
1:19:31🔗
Drew
All right, here's then the one piece of advice I will give you. Get to that therapist, go regularly, be completely honest, and follow the direction of whatever here she tells you, okay? All you got to do is very simple, just follow the direction. Can you do that?
1:19:50🔗
It's just very confusing.
1:20:05🔗
I live north of Boston. In Peabody.
1:20:14🔗
Adam
I'll tell you what, all I know about Boston is I went there and they said that I'm having a wicked pisser and I'm like, what the hell are you talking about? I'm having a wicked pisser. I don't know what the, somebody from Wooster. I don't know what the, what is this?
1:20:32🔗
There's a big stadium place there.
1:20:35🔗
Yeah, there's a place called Palladium, it's a concert venue.
1:20:50🔗
Drew
Weekends at the DL., DL. Hughley, it's at what time? Again, we got 11 o'clock. 11 o'clock on cable. Check your listing if you're on Satellite. Comedy Central. DL. Hughley is here talking about, well, mostly just talking about orgasm. That's what he's into.
1:21:06🔗
Adam
I wouldn't have said delightful, but I'm worked into my vocabulary now. That's delightful. I'm learning a lot. You don't fix me. I got a new vocabulary. I'm afraid, though, that you're delightful, doctor.
1:21:18🔗
Drew
Thank you, buddy. Thank you. All right, we'll take a break and DL. I'm going to have sex or something, and we'll be right back.
1:21:25🔗
Drew
DL. Hughley is my co-host tonight, and here's a question for you, DL for sure. Okay, Karen's got a specific she wants a pointer here.
1:21:43🔗
Caller
I was calling because I've never had sex, but I've given a few guys, and the first one, he's always frustrating me because he could never like go when I was doing it.
1:21:57🔗
Caller
And I don't, I don't, like, how do I know if I'm really good at it or not or why couldn't he go? I would do everything that he said and like the other guy is like, I've never experienced a guy that like remotely had any problem. Like usually-
1:22:08🔗
Drew
Well, let me just tell you that some guys, let's just set the stage here, some guys do not have orgasm with oral sex. There are some guys. And there are also some guys that take a long time to have an orgasm.
1:22:33🔗
Adam
I mean, it's just an appetizer, but it ain't the meal. And so it's nothing you do. And you sound, you sound adorable right now.
1:22:45🔗
Adam
Well, I think, I think, well, honestly, just honestly, if it's not wet enough or if they don't seem like they dig it.
1:23:08🔗
Caller
And it was always so frustrating because I felt like I was never doing it good enough or.
1:23:12🔗
Adam
Sweetie, don't feel like that. You're wonderful. I could tell by the way you're talking right now that you put your all into it.
1:23:24🔗
Caller
I would. And I really like you're awesome. And I can tell you're having fun. And I'm like, well, yeah, it's fun. And then.
1:23:30🔗
Adam
Right. OK. Let me ask you something. Now, you don't. OK. Now, you're all in. Like you say, you enjoy doing it. So you swallow, you know, you're not averse to any of that. Oh, wow. Man, that's moved up. That's great. That's even better than a squirter.
1:23:48🔗
Adam
You're wonderful. At the same time, are you kind of juggling? Like, because, you know, I like the little dice thing.
1:23:56🔗
Caller
Everything like we watch videos and he'd be like, can you do that? And I'm like, well, sure. And I would.
1:24:09🔗
Adam
Oh, my goodness. So you just not only that, you want to be good at it. You want to learn.
1:24:22🔗
Adam
And that works too. I mean, you know, let me tell you something. You have, you have many special skills in this guy right here.
1:24:44🔗
Adam
But not not teeth like, you know, not no, don't don't bite him. Like, like, rake it. Rake him.
1:24:56🔗
Drew
So you got anything else for Karen? All right. So it's all good. This is just this guy doesn't dig or he takes a long, long, long, long time.
1:25:06🔗
Hey, what's up, Joe?
1:25:09🔗
Little did that girl who was just on before me, she's a keeper.
1:25:15🔗
All right. My thing is this one. Like when I'm working up with my girlfriend, like while I'm having sex, I've learned how to like have multiple orgasms by doing the same thing. Like, you know, when you get to the dance and you hold it.
1:25:37🔗
I mean, the way the way I can do it is the same way as if you were to like, like hold your pee, like if you had to pee and you had to hold it.
1:25:51🔗
But I can have one and then I'll have another maybe five minutes after that.
1:26:03🔗
Right. Right. Right.
1:26:05🔗
What I mean, it's like I can have like a full ejaculation. And then almost again, it's like it's not as much.
1:26:11🔗
Adam
But you know what that's called? Know what that's called, Adam? It's called being 22. That's what that's called.
1:26:22🔗
Don't worry.
1:26:24🔗
Don't worry.
1:26:38🔗
Oh, hey, first of all, I guess I got a different question now. Does that make me bad? Does the girl with the little kid voice got me hot?
1:26:49🔗
Makes you, I'm D.
1:26:52🔗
Drew
Well, the little girl voice thing, as you know, the little girl voice often means that there were sexual abuse when they were a kid and they sort of arrest and their voice stays at the age at which they were.
1:27:02🔗
Drew
But that wasn't, Karen's a little person. Hold on a second here. Karen? Oh, damn it. I can't get her back. Karen, yeah.
1:27:28🔗
Adam
Wow, that's nice. That's just why I like it. You build for comfort, not for speed, right?
1:27:38🔗
Adam
I knew it. I know how I knew. Know how I know? Because you got a little bass in the undertone of your voice. I love you. I love you. You're wonderful.
1:27:48🔗
Caller
When you are on, because I listen to Loveline constantly, but when you are on, I have the call. I watch your show all the time. I watch the Hughley's too. I love that.
1:27:55🔗
Adam
Well, you know what? Can you feel what? Can you feel the love I feel for you right now?
1:28:13🔗
Drew
Just got to be sure. We weren't supporting her pathology. Jason, so what's the question?
1:28:19🔗
Yeah, you need to have her guest host sometime. Absolutely.
1:28:22🔗
Drew
You know what? I want to have a listener guest host. I want to do that. So just stay tuned. We're going to have that.
1:28:27🔗
All right.
1:28:29🔗
Oh, yeah. Well, I was wondering. I'm just getting over strep throat. And my girl gave me oral yesterday. And I'm wondering, can it be transmitted like that? Like she didn't kiss me or anything. But afterwards, I thought, oh, damn, now I just gave her a week of hell on the back of her throat. Yeah.
1:28:45🔗
Adam
But I know I noticed you waited till you were done for you thought this way, didn't you?
1:28:49🔗
Drew
Well, here's the deal. First of all, what's being called strep throat may be a viral illness. And if it's a viral illness, the virus is present. A lot of body fluids. And you could transmit that if it is strep. It's just in the throat. And as long as she doesn't kiss you, you know, I mean, you can't get it that way. It's not going to go there.
1:29:21🔗
Drew
Crabs. You're more like a crab sitting on somebody's couch. They hang out in the furniture and stuff. They do. They don't sit on toilet seats.
1:29:30🔗
Drew
Right. That's the lice and stuff. The scabies. I bet you that's a common thing when you travel a lot. You never got scabies?
1:29:36🔗
Adam
No. You know what it is. Well, crabs and stuff are hard for black people because of the oil in our hair and the oil in our skin, so they don't really...
1:29:45🔗
Drew
That's nice. All right. Weekends at the DL. D. L. Hughley is co-host and we're taking yet another break. Well, Anton does it for Loveline. Weekends at the DL. You can see D. L. Hughley on Comedy Central at 11 o'clock. Check it out. He just stuck a whole fist full of pistachios in his mouth. So go ahead and talk right into this thing. I really appreciate you coming in. It was a good time.
1:30:07🔗
Drew
Everyone check out Weekends at the DL. We've got Danny Bonaduce coming in next couple nights, later in the week. Exhibit. Propshinder next week looks like. It's going to be a very, very interesting week. I promise you some listener, listener co-hosts coming up. I think that's a great idea.