0:57🔗
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.
1:20🔗
Voiceover
Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Alanna Ubach is here tonight.
1:35🔗
Adam
Alanna was one of our favorite guests. She was here a couple of few back on Meet the Fockers, and she was a Spanish-made who... Well, we thought it was funny because when she said the name, you know, in her Spanish... When she said Meet the Fockers in her Spanish accent, it pretty much just sounded like the F word because you did the...
2:03🔗
Drew
Of course, there is a Focker family out there. That's how they were able to get by with that. However, Alanna's mom didn't see it quite the same way.
2:11🔗
Alanna Ubach
Oh, no. She just... She didn't talk to me for two weeks after she heard that name.
2:15🔗
Oh, yeah.
2:18🔗
She was like, Alanna, I didn't know you knew that much about sex.
2:22🔗
Click.
2:24🔗
Adam
Oh, oh, see... Oh, see, when I hear a parent not talking to you for two weeks, I look at... I look at that as dodging a bullet.
2:37🔗
Adam
Yeah, you got Alanna's out here doing a... It's Alanna, right? You don't want to be Alanna, do you?
2:51🔗
Adam
Alanna's out here plugging the movie Waiting, which opens October 7th. It's got Ryan Reynolds, a dear, dear, dear friend of the show. Ryan Reynolds is one of the nicest guys in show business.
3:10🔗
Adam
Sweet guy, and Andy Melanakis. Dear, dear Andy Melanakis, also in this movie Waiting. And they shot the movie New Orleans. That's interesting. So what's the movie about?
3:26🔗
Alanna Ubach
It's basically about a bunch of kids who work at a, you know, shenanigans. It's like the Bennigan's of that town or the TGI Fridays. And they're all miserable.
3:37🔗
Alanna Ubach
Exactly. They're all miserable. And my character has been working there for years. And she's a major alcoholic and a chain smoker. That was a lot of fun to play. And a major stretch. And it was just a lot of fun, because you have Louie Guzman, who has this great part. And he plays one of the cooks. And all of these cooks and all of the waiters and the waitresses have this game that they play. And I'm not supposed to mention it, because it's a huge surprise. But it's kind of a really naughty game that you're not supposed to play.
4:11🔗
Alanna Ubach
Basically. Yeah, they kind of gang up on the customers. They treat them poorly. It's a lot of fun.
4:16🔗
Adam
Is it in the food? Snut Rocket in the food, actually. Listen, I did the math. Whenever the waiters do things that you're not supposed to talk about, that just means Snut Rocket, or what do you call it? Snut Shot? Snut Shot. Yeah. And obviously a comedy.
4:31🔗
Alanna Ubach
Oh yeah, cool. A lot of things go on back in the kitchen and stuff, showing balls.
4:39🔗
God, I wish.
4:54🔗
Drew
Yes, Adam. The iPod Nano tonight again is with each night this week. We will be giving away a brand new iPad Nano, which this is really the best giveaway we ever had. Yeah. Listen for the Death Cam for Cutie song, Soul Meets Body. Here it is. And Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior Producer Warren going insane. Yeah. She loves Death Cab, Death Cab for Cutie, which by the way, could they have named the band in a way, the name that you actually speak? It's hard to spit out Death Cab for Cutie. Yeah.
5:25🔗
These are those gold dust moments.
5:27🔗
Drew
Well, it's number two for Tory. This is junior, junior, junior, junior producers. Favorite is Tory. Bumper music is the music you hear when you come back from the commercial break. Be the first person to get through and say iPod Nano to our screener. You got to be 18 years of older and you will win. You'll also win a gift certificate from iTunes for 10 free downloads. Speaking of loaded.
5:46🔗
Drew
I Tivo'd too late with Adam Corolla and watched Tivo, excuse me, I watched Steve-O. Yeah. Pump and upend you.
6:05🔗
Adam
Yes, it was it was it was shattered. It was not just ruptured. It was destroyed. He took an M-80 to my behind man, which I wanted to take to my grave. And that's what I'm gonna say. You know, when I have a son, I'm gonna be like, son, listen, your sister has a hymen. She can lose that somewhere around her junior year of high school. You, my friend, have a behind man. That must never go away. That is a force field. You must keep the behind man intact. As a matter of fact, now here's the thing about the behind man. It is an imaginary, it's an imaginary plane. That it's a no fly zone for penises and fingers and plugs and pen whatever. And here's what it is. Like I want you to make a pact with me about your behind man right now. Because I'll never be able to check on it. There'll be no behind man reconstructive surgery. There's nothing to look for. There's nothing to repair. I just need you to swear to me that that behind man remains pristine. The blessed behind man.
7:09🔗
Alanna Ubach
Unless of course you get a fish. Then you have to see the proctocologist. Is that what they are?
7:23🔗
Adam
Well, first off, how dare you? It was a carbuncle and yes, I did and I had to use a hand mirror and a flashlight to bounce light off the hand mirror.
7:51🔗
Adam
Steve-O from Jackass and Wild Boys was a guest on my too late show on Comedy Central last night.
7:58🔗
Hey Drew, why is it that when you rub your balls while you're jerking off, that it feels so much better?
8:04🔗
Oh, no way, he's here.
8:06🔗
Adam
You can't see me for Fokker's, but that we can say. Here's the thing, he got himself a little blitzed. He drank a fifth.
8:15🔗
Adam
Yeah. Oh, well, I'll tell you what he drank. He drank a fifth of vodka and then a fifth of a fifth of vodka. So he drank about a quart of vodka and then came out and he was so blitzed. And he just started attacking me, basically, not not violently.
8:39🔗
Adam
He did slice his leg up. Yeah, he was punching the glass. If the glass had broken when he punched it, he would have sliced his hand all up. But instead, he used his heel and his shoe and still cut himself up pretty good.
9:00🔗
Adam
He sent us an email about five hours later saying he doesn't remember anything, but he's prouder of it than any talk show appearances he's ever done.
9:11🔗
Yeah.
9:17🔗
Ethically.
9:19🔗
Alanna Ubach
Puerto Rican and Mexican. My dad was born in San Juan. My mother was born in Sinaloa. And then we met out here at the Palladium. And then they decided that- Yeah, the Palladium on Salsa Night, Friday night. And my dad took one look at my mother's breasts and he said, oh yes, she will be mine. Yeah. So-
9:36🔗
Alanna Ubach
Every night is Salsa Night at the Palladium Night. So they got married and they started a family out in Downey because that's the- like that was the most- that was the coolest suburban neighborhood, 20 minutes south of downtown Austin. Sure, Downey.
9:58🔗
Adam
Not so fast in the doing department, but the talking, pow! Auctioneers. It is a fast ass language. The culture's laid back, but the mouth moves fast. Which is weird. You know what I mean?
10:12🔗
Alanna Ubach
No, it's- you can lay back and drink a cerveza and you're still speaking a mile a minute.
10:17🔗
Adam
Yeah, so it's a fast language that doesn't seem to bleed into the actual pace of the culture. Culture's very much enjoying the moment. Take a little siesta in the middle of the day, relax, but prrrr. The language sounds like cards in a bike spokes.
10:33🔗
Adam
Yeah. Whereas like Germans talk slow and work fast. Or I don't know if the word is fast, but they're not nappers. You know what I'm saying?
10:45🔗
Break that down.
10:56🔗
Lily?
10:59🔗
Lily.
11:00🔗
She's sleeping?
11:01🔗
Hello, yeah.
11:03🔗
Hi, my question is about, I'm 19 and I'm married, and just I can't feel any pleasure when me and my husband make love.
11:20🔗
I've never had, yeah.
11:24🔗
I don't feel anything. It's just when he's inside me. I just feel like I have to go to the restroom. You know, like I have to go pee.
11:31🔗
Adam
Well, that's how sex is. No sensation followed with bladder pressure followed by an anemia.
11:51🔗
Adam
All right. You sound like a nine-year-old. Is there something going on? Something we need to know about your past?
11:56🔗
Drew
One of the things that can happen is there's a painful sexual abuse early in life. It can disconnect you from any feeling down there. Anything like that?
12:14🔗
Adam
Why didn't you get married? Drew, did you hear my name in the background? Yes. Is that Anderson?
12:22🔗
Caller
Because I wanted to get married early. I don't know. For one reason, it's sexy for marriages against men's religion. All right.
12:48🔗
Adam
No. But if they did, it would be okay because that's a different culture and we can't judge.
13:15🔗
Drew
Islam. Okay. Well, here's a deal that's very common in young women, is that sexuality needs to come online. You need to figure it out. It's not as easily accessible as a male. I don't mean just mechanically, but biologically and neurobiologically, it can take some doing to get things going and get arousal. You have to feel intimate and you have to feel safe, and you have to feel close to that person. And this may just be being young and being scared about all this, having been sort of traumatized by a religious message.
13:44🔗
Adam
Let me also say this, whatever your wacky religion is, whether it's Islam or Jehovah, born again Christian or Hasidic Jew, whatever nutty angle you decide to take in life. And to me, you're all nuts. You should stay where you are, because if you come over here, your nutty religion is going to seem super nutty. See, where you were, it was just filled with like-minded nutty people who followed the same nutty religion. And it's like, once you take that Mormonism out of Utah, it's cubed. Now you got problems. Because you want a little polygamy and you want to bang a nine-year-old and you got all kinds of things that your religion tells you is cool. You come out here, you get arrested. Same with just your basic nutty religions around the world. Go ahead and stay where you are or leave the religion where you are. Come on out here. That's my take. Because coming out here, this is the land of vibrators. It's the land of, you know, pay-per-view porn.
14:53🔗
Adam
Smart. I'm just telling you, when you come out here, it gets tough because then you get around, you start working with people and they're like, oh yeah, I'm getting it on all the time. I have five organ, now you're screwed. Back wherever you came from, you just work around, everyone else just walk around the pillowcase on their head with a little hole cut out so they could see. No problem. And again, I'm not judging, not judging. It's impossible to judge. But I'm just saying, you come out, you come out to Minnesota from Kenya, you bring the wacky religion with you, and there's going to be question marks. That's what I'm saying. All right. So Lily, don't cheat, stay with your husband, take it nice and slow.
15:30🔗
Adam
And like I said, at 19, you'll, as Drew said, you'll come online, you'll start, things will wake up downstairs for you.
15:39🔗
Hey, I think the husband was there, cause that was not me saying Adam and then later.
15:47🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah, but here's the thing, everybody. Your nutty religion and your sexuality, they're going to run headlong into each other eventually, too, as the hormones start raging and you start coming online. Boom. All that no masturbation stuff, all that, you know, your palms are going to fall off or you go blind or it's a sin or you make the baby Jesus cry or whatever, whatever nutty doctrine you follow. It's all going to start falling apart when you start masturbating and start getting these weird urges and you start suppressing it and actually you're out killing people. That's not not individually, but as a group, as a group. That's kind of how religion works. Lexa?
16:34🔗
Yeah, I'm a little high.
17:04🔗
Adam
No, I didn't say you were. I just said in general. Yeah. Yeah. When you're when you're super, super dumb, you can't do drugs because then you just can't move.
17:16🔗
Caller
No, I had unprotected sex about a month ago and I took the morning after pill and I haven't had my period yet and I'm like laid on it by like almost a week.
17:37🔗
Drew
Now, the problem, though, is the cut of my behind it. Yeah, that was cut. I don't like it. Go ahead. The problem now is, of course, you could be pregnant. How long after the morning after pill, after the intercourse, did you take the morning after pill?
17:55🔗
Drew
So that's pretty, that's usually 85 to 90 percent effective. So the probability is you're not pregnant, but definitely take a pregnancy test. If it's negative, it can often take a couple of months for the menstrual cycles to start normalizing after the morning after pill.
18:09🔗
Caller
I have another question. If I am pregnant, how long can I, because I've had an abortion before, but like I had to give a surgical one, how many weeks can you be pregnant when they can still give you the pill to kill the...
18:22🔗
Drew
I think you can do, I don't have that up top in my head, but I've had patients do it all the way throughout.
18:26🔗
Adam
Kids start first day, I think you can still give them the pills. They actually feed the kid the pills. At that point, you don't take them yourself. At a certain point, you hand them to the kid.
18:44🔗
Drew
You're seeing a curette is this sort of curved scoop like a spoon. You go scrape everything out. It's good times.
18:57🔗
Adam
But yeah, I'm not for it. I'm not for it. I don't think anyone's a fan of it. I don't. I don't.
19:05🔗
Drew
Just the arguments against it are very compelling. The problem is the people who have spun out with all these kinds of arguments make me not want to support them.
19:12🔗
Adam
Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, I know that, you know, if you have to write to your own body and that kind of stuff, if those arguments aren't so compelling. Yeah, I agree.
19:23🔗
Adam
I know Alanna does, I love her crazy Mexican maid. I'll tell you, I love when she gets into that.
19:37🔗
Adam
I know, but there's a couple of things I like doing because one of my greatest joys is I know I call 10 Latin guys a week and try to talk to them over the phone and the mom answers to phone. And then when I ask for where Iswaldo is, they act like he's being held hostage at the house. A little bit confused. Drew, what are you doing?
20:09🔗
Adam
You don't like that game. We're going to play it with Alanna, but let me just finish what I was saying, would you please?
20:15🔗
Adam
No, she's gone. You need to play the part of Iswaldo's mother, who when I ask if Iswaldo's there, she says, no, no, he no here, as if someone's holding a gun to his head. And then later on where I say, how's that go? Let's see.
20:35🔗
Adam
Who? Yeah, you need the who. And then the who is a very distressed who, like you've never heard of your son's name. And then the who is who are you? Yes, who? Is that good? Yeah, yeah. And then the next one is, is Waldo, is he here? And you're like, no, no, you're not here. You have to pretend like someone's holding a gun to you and as Waldo's tied up duct tape to the dinette table.
21:26🔗
Adam
No, I'm calling for my house. I just want to know if he's there. I need to talk to him. I work tomorrow.
21:37🔗
Adam
Now, let me just tweak it just a little bit. The who has to be almost like a crazed, scared who.
21:51🔗
Adam
And then when I do, as Waldo, you do almost panicked and scared. No, no, you know, yeah.
22:00🔗
Adam
But don't mix too much fruit in the salad, Drew. She's a good actress, not a great actress. So it's not freak her out. It's fear meets panic. It's really it's really it in your mind, as your implicit cue should be somebody holding a gun to his Waldo in the background, shaking their head, saying like, listen, bitch, if you say he's here, he's going to get a bullet in the head. You know, yeah. Right.
22:33🔗
Adam
Take a beat. Drew. Okay. All right. Drew, do you realize you're pointing at a TV set in the studio saying, look at these pictures? For you.
22:46🔗
Adam
Drew, do you understand you're pointing at a TV set and saying into a microphone, look at these pictures on your radio show.
23:00🔗
Adam
She's like a nine year old. Bring, bring, bring, bring. Uh, hi. Is Waldo there? No. No, no. No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Who? Who? The first one is who?
23:44🔗
Adam
Coach her during the break. No, no, I think I think we got this. The first one is who and then it's no, he's no here.
24:01🔗
Caller
You know, here, here, here. That's good. OK, great. Yeah, that's all. That's all right.
24:07🔗
Alanna Ubach
Thank you very much. I had to like, you know, bring back a big of dead babies and.
25:08🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, we must apologize because we're hanging out by the microwave. Now, you know, we're talking about Steve-O and whether he was in a blackout state or whatever he was last night when he was wrestling with me.
25:28🔗
Adam
We got to forget. Alanna, now, I changed it to Ubach last time, but it was Ubach. Forever. And what do we want to what do we want to call it?
25:38🔗
Alanna Ubach
I think you're trying to flirt with me. You said, oh, kid, you know, come on, you can't call it Ubach forever. You got to call it Ubach.
25:56🔗
Adam
I'm going to put a line over this U or I'm not. You want to go U? Yeah, sure. I put that line under it. We got Ubach there. Waiting is the name of the movie.
26:17🔗
Adam
Anna Faris sounds hot. So does Skyler Stone. Skyler Stone. You'd date a Skyler Stone side unseen, wouldn't you, Drew?
26:50🔗
Alanna Ubach
Well, I mean, his name is Joseph Skyler. And so there you go. So he went with his middle name. Be like, calling myself, you know, Noel Ubach.
27:02🔗
We're.
27:04🔗
We're.
27:10🔗
Adam
Oh, well, you know, let's take a phone call and then we'll do some Ranchero countdown. Let's take one call. Let's pretend like we're doing something. Haley?
27:18🔗
Yes.
27:22🔗
Caller
I have been having sex with my boyfriend for just barely over a week. We've been together for like five months and we just barely started having sex and every single time we have sex, I bleed.
28:08🔗
Drew
It has nothing to do with hitting it. It has very little to do with that. Just that the lining of the uterus is a little less stable when you're on birth control, when you have hormones, when you have an IUD.
28:21🔗
Drew
You can get to the string and stuff, the wire hanging out. Oh, really? But you may not. But the...
28:31🔗
Drew
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. But the fact is that when there's stimulation and pelvic congestion, you can bleed normally. And just when there's a little less stability to the uterine lining, of course you bleed.
29:00🔗
Caller
When he comes, I mean, I was wondering if maybe there's something that's wrong with him. I'm not sure.
29:11🔗
Drew
You expect that with what you're dealing with. And the only thing you need to concern yourself with is if you are exposed to an infection, it does suggest a slightly more open route to the higher genital tract and... The bleeding. Yeah, worse than an infection that way. All right.
29:39🔗
Adam
It's ubiquitous. It's the essence of Ranchero music. And we take a random Ranchero song, we go, we cue it up randomly. It could be the middle, could be the beginning, could be the end, which random song we've not heard before, randomly in the middle of the song. How long when we hit play before we hear an accordion?
30:05🔗
Adam
Well, I work around a lot of Ranchero music when you, you know, swing a hammer in the valleys. That's so hard.
30:54🔗
Adam
Marcus, you primed. You ready? I'm so nervous. All right, Drew, you're watching the clock because this comes down to tens for a second. Three, two, one, go.
31:14🔗
Nine seconds.
32:28🔗
Adam
Oh, oh, that is so much better than the . I remember the time we played it with Noel Gallagher.
32:46🔗
Adam
Listen, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you're going to walk out of the studio with a recording contract.
33:08🔗
Alanna Ubach
Wouldn't that be so hard? Julio Iglesias decided to now become a producer and he's just outside ready to grab me.
33:13🔗
Drew
With the big white tiger and the woman with the crazy leather little cut on the side of his van.
33:19🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. No, it's in rainbow tape. Yeah. Yeah, it's an Incan god. She's going to sacrifice.
33:25🔗
Adam
No, no, the snow leopard, that's another van. That's another van. This is a different one. This is the Incan god going to throw the chick in the brass bikini into the volcano.
34:02🔗
Adam
Yeah, whole bunch of people yelling in the background. But if you want to know why 6-year-old guys have difficulty getting laid, they have a hard, like, here's the deal, you need a little bit of a rap, you got to put together a sentence or two.
34:14🔗
Adam
You can't just be standing there with a pizza face going, huh, you know what I'm saying?
34:20🔗
Adam
That's why the 16 year old chicks are going out with the 19 year old dudes, because 16 year old dudes, they don't, can't form a sentence. Yeah, can't engage. Now this guy's making a bogus phone call, and has his buddies distract him in the background.
34:42🔗
Adam
I mean, it was an awesome, I mean, look, I've heard a lot of bogus phone calls in my 11 years here on the program, this is amongst the best.
34:54🔗
Drew
Well, what's the question? Turn your radio off for one thing, and then tell us quickly. Oh boy, I'm asking for a lot there.
35:37🔗
Adam
Could you please put a little effort into the call? For the love of Christ, like, look, I like a bogus call. I had a TV show where all we did was bogus phone calls, but we prepared, we worked out the beats, people had questions, we had answers. You understand? I had people at the YMCA convinced I had conjoined twins that needed swimming lessons. They asked a couple of questions, I gave them some answers and we moved forward. You know what I mean?
36:36🔗
Adam
Okay, now he's scatting. Okay. Daniel, look, here's the deal. Do me a favor. Drop out of high school and go to junior college now. Because here's, let me just do the, I'm going to do the math with Daniel. You're going to spend seven years in junior college. Get started now.
36:53🔗
Adam
Well, get two years under your belt instead of wasting another two years in high school. And then spend five, it would be like just spending five years.
37:09🔗
Alanna Ubach
I was terrible in, I was trying to go to Cerritos College, you know, Cerritos Community College. I couldn't find a parking space.
37:23🔗
Adam
It's an attack on communities because community has a positive connotation to it, you know, community policing. He's a leader in the community. Then to soil it with the word college, community college makes...
37:39🔗
Adam
Junior college. And believe me, junior college is being kind. You know what I mean? Like if you said, well, the the boxer, that's a junior Porsche, you know, that's not what college is. That's not what junior college is to a four year college.
37:57🔗
Adam
I think so. Yeah. Well, so what happened? You couldn't get in, you couldn't find a place to park?
38:01🔗
Alanna Ubach
I couldn't find a parking space, so I just left. I dropped out. There's too many people there, you know.
38:06🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, listen, you're smart and you're talented. You don't belong in junior, junior, junior college.
38:15🔗
Adam
We'll take a little break. Who are we going to talk to when we come back? Mike took Viagra for erectile difficulties and didn't work. Let's know about alternatives.
38:40🔗
Alanna Ubach
Let me tell you something about this iPod Nano. Tonight and each night this week, we will be giving away a brand new iPod Nano. Now you have to do is listen for Dead Cab for Cutie, Soul Miss Body. Play it, baby. There it is. That's what it sounds like.
38:59🔗
Alanna Ubach
It's a nice, nice song. In our bumper music, see? The bumper music is music you hear when we come back from a commercial break. Be the first person to get through and say, I've gotten enough to be a love life screener and you will win. You will also receive a gift certificate from iTunes for 10, vamos, yes, free downloads. You must be 18 years or older. Don't you lie either. We know if you're young.
39:29🔗
Adam
Also, we're going to take a break. When we come back, Alanna is going to read her IMDB credits.
39:35🔗
Adam
As her father. I've just decided this is how it should go for this point on. Yeah. Now, remember, who did we have in here from?
40:04🔗
Adam
Well, we may have Alanna do that too. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
40:39🔗
Alanna Ubach
Ay, mi hijito. It's a little bit of alpha hydroxy and a little bit of practice on Scatterstone.
40:47🔗
Adam
She's got energy, boy. I'll tell you what. Passion. I'm not going to back down. She's a passionate, passionate woman.
40:54🔗
Adam
She's got too much pride not to be great in the sack. You know, those people, you know, there's people that don't mind failure and there's people that don't mind being bad at things. I work with many of those people.
41:12🔗
Adam
Yeah, she's tight. She's a spinner. Yeah. No, no, but this is an interesting concept. This is an interesting concept, which is there's a lot of people that just sort of refuse to do poorly no matter what they do.
41:25🔗
Adam
And if you if they get in a pick up basketball game, they can't help but go 100 percent.
41:34🔗
Drew
That's a different guy. And the people that need to be perfect. That's what you're talking about.
41:39🔗
Drew
You're talking more about the people that need to be perfect. They need to do a good job.
41:48🔗
Adam
There's a third sort of cousin of those two, which when you're talking about doing anything, they need to understand it, they need to be good at it, and they need to show up. And they don't want anyone saying, you know what, Phil wasn't really too hot at this.
42:04🔗
Drew
What you're missing, because you're not that kind of person, is they're doing that for you. You see what I'm saying? That's what motivates that. It's a need to be good in the eyes of other people. People-pleasers. Yeah, and that's perfectionism.
42:17🔗
Adam
That's the extreme version of that. I have a lot of that in me. I don't like showing up and screwing things up or not catching on or being the guy holding things back.
42:29🔗
Adam
I would like people to stop looking at me. I'm just saying, Alanna, too much pride to suck in the sack.
42:53🔗
Adam Corolla.
42:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's Adam. Alanna, we're trying to replace the pool game the kids play Marco Polo with Adam Corolla.
43:31🔗
Adam
We can do the, that's the publics, that's the public pool. Well, this is the above ground pool. Adam, you Corolla! See, that's the above ground.
43:44🔗
Caller
Okay, I sort of have ED. I don't know if it'd be classified as ED, but... I think it would.
43:53🔗
Caller
Sort of having a full one. It's sort of, the best way I could describe it is sort of broken at the base of the penis where it's like, I'm still able to have intercourse, but it's still not fully...
44:07🔗
Drew
Now wait a minute here. It's that it falls forward or falls towards Mecca down, but it gets fully to mess it, fully firm.
44:27🔗
Caller
Um, yeah currently I'm on well, Butean and Prozac, but this has happened my whole life and I've been on and I haven't been on this, I haven't been on those meds my whole life. Really?
44:50🔗
Adam
Well, you're on some meds that could definitely do some things but you've been on them for a while.
44:54🔗
Drew
And he said he had this long before he went on the meds. This is an unusual thing. And what have you tried about it?
45:12🔗
Drew
Prolonged it, right. I would certainly, there are three different medicines that would help with that.
45:29🔗
Drew
Yeah, you certainly try the different viagra-type medicines. Viagra, you want to take up to 100 milligrams, Cialis 20, and Levitra 10 or 20.
45:41🔗
Adam
Just average. Yeah, because once in a while, a guy has a huge shlong and becomes unwieldy.
46:09🔗
Adam
The thing that's weird is when you see that porn, every once in a while, the way the guy brings that back to life is he sort of smacks it on it on an ass or a coffee table or something. And it sort of activates it. It's like, it's like those glow sticks. Cold packs. Cold packs. Snaps it and all of a sudden it gets going. It's a weird thing. It's like, I can't get going. I got either like a coffee table or some ass or something. I got to whack this thing. Just just two or three shakes with this baby and it's back in action again. I don't know if it's a certain like flogging or waking up process. But yeah, it's like you do like what you do with a flare.
47:23🔗
Adam
I'm Adam Nance, Dr. Drew. Alana, you back? She is a sweet, sweet little lachalupa. She's a wonderful little lachurro. She's a chorizo. She's a chorizo.
47:49🔗
Adam
And a little greasy, too. That's all right. Helps it go down. Nothing wrong with that. Alanna is in a little movie called Waiting with Ryan Reynolds and Annie Melanakis and...
48:04🔗
Adam
Would you guys film that? I'd like to bang that Skyler Stone on the floor. That's a hot table. That name. Sight unseen. I would be on top of that chick right now.
48:19🔗
Alanna Ubach
We filmed in New Orleans, right outside of the French Quarter, like 20 minutes east, west, north, south of the French Quarter.
48:30🔗
Alanna Ubach
It used to be. A Bennigan's closed down and then we decided they went in there and made it to the location.
48:37🔗
Adam
It's high jinks at a restaurant. I got to tell you, people that do these things for businesses like have these chains of restaurants, I can't, I couldn't imagine, I mean, I couldn't imagine.
48:51🔗
Adam
No, no, no, I'm not talking about the guys, the sexually addicted people that manage the places.
48:59🔗
Adam
No, I'm just talking about the guy who says, I'm going to do this for a living. I'm going to get this place of business. I'm going to put 500 grand worth of equipment in the kitchen. There's going to be all sorts of inspectors. I'm going to have a guy poking around, he's going to put a thermometer in the mayo. And if it's a degree warmer, I'm going to get a C in the thing. And there's going to be people coming and going and quitting and sending food back and everything. And this whole platter of ribs is going to be $9.
49:28🔗
Adam
I mean, I would be like, okay, look, by the time I'm done rebuilding this place and buying all the commercial-grade equipment and hiring and staffing up and insurance and stuff, that burger is going to be $249, please. And I'm breaking even. I mean, I just couldn't. I know there's certain cases where, oh, the bar makes a ton of money or whatever, but I couldn't imagine doing and the turnover of staff.
49:53🔗
Caller
I mean, the hostesses, the waiters, all those lawsuits and the sexual harassment cases.
49:58🔗
Adam
People are suing, people want this, people are faking injuries and slipping in the kitchen. You got an illegal guy over here. The INS is coming over, the Hellbent's back there. I couldn't imagine doing it.
50:10🔗
Drew
It seems like it's sort of an impulse to try to recreate a high school. You know what I mean? Like a group, you know what I mean? Sort of a fraternity or something.
50:19🔗
Adam
I'll tell you what it is. I knew a guy who's dead now, who died of hep C, who was gay, who owned a trendy restaurant on the west side.
50:38🔗
Adam
I think it's something else now, but I used to work on the guy's house. I used to work on his restaurant. The guy's name was Ron Braun. And he was a cool guy and everything. And that restaurant was his little Vegas. You know, he was Dan Tanner. When he showed up, all heads turned, he was a celebrity in his own place. Celebrities would come and eat there.
51:01🔗
Adam
You walk in and all eyes are on you. And you're the biggest celebrity in your restaurant. It's your restaurant. And I don't care if Tom Cruise is there, it's you. And I think, and he dug it. I mean, you could tell he really enjoyed being the guy who got this whole thing off the ground. Yeah. So I think there's that, but when you're talking about TGI Fridays and you're just. Oh yeah, there's always a leader there. There's always a leader there.
51:28🔗
Drew
If you live in Birmingham, Alabama or something, that's your, that's your raise thinking of, is that. All right.
51:35🔗
Adam
Adriana, I think I stepped on Alanna saying c-blocking by the way, which I'm not sure we're allowed to say.
51:45🔗
Alanna Ubach
I said clock blocking. Clock blocking. No, people, people go in, you know, earlier so they can get paid, you know, earlier.
52:16🔗
Rooster watches.
52:29🔗
Drew
Oh, wait, hey, listen, tonight and every night, tonight it's Death Cab for Cutie. The song is Soul Meets Body. I'll give you a hint. Listen, listen carefully. Soon in our bumper music, coming back out of commercial, you hear that song, you call in and be the first person to get through who's over 18 years of age and say.
52:50🔗
Drew
There you go. Just like that. And you'll also receive a gift certificate from iTunes for 10 downloads.
53:03🔗
Clock block.
53:08🔗
Hello.
53:10🔗
Hello.
53:14🔗
Caller
I've listened to the show for a long time and it's the first time for me to call in. Thank you. I am 22. I go to college. I'm a senior at school. I'm graduating in May and before you even ask, that's always your first question. I was sexually molested when I was two and off and on throughout my adolescence by my grandfather.
53:46🔗
Caller
That's exactly why I'm calling because my addiction is a little weird. I'm an extreme overachiever, like valedictorian, scholar. Really?
53:57🔗
Caller
Like pre-med, I accepted to medical school my freshman year of college. I'm not bragging. I just am very accomplished.
54:06🔗
Adam
No, some people essentially take whatever abuse they had in the past and it supercharges them. It can become like Madonna or Oprah.
54:21🔗
Adam
Basically somebody gets hold of Oprah, does a little diddling on Oprah and pow, you have a dynamo adult. Oh, you want to kill yourself, you have to work with them, but they can never stop working.
54:34🔗
Caller
I started cutting myself when I started going to high school. And it's like weird because I'm always in leadership roles and I'm always used as a role model. Even in high school, I was like a general model to the elementary school students.
55:09🔗
Adam
I just remember that if you go out on stage in front of 3,000 kids at Texas A&M and you go, howdy, 3,000 people in unison go, howdy.
55:22🔗
Drew
In unison. It's crazy. In unison. The other one we hit that was like that was when you go to Ohio State and go OH. Remember that one?
55:38🔗
Drew
Okay. But here's the deal, Adriana. So you've got some serious stuff going on. And all that, that sort of, you're sort of in one of the ways to sort of conceptualize what you're dealing with is, we call it running phase of post-traumatic stress disorder, where you're hyperachieving, you're harried and you're just constantly running, running, running, running, running. And you basically overload your system's ability to regulate and you fall back in these more primitive means such as using substances, cutting, probably acting out sexually as a way of sort of managing all this.
56:13🔗
Caller
I have a psychiatrist and a psychologist, like my therapist. Like I see her weekly. But the thing that is kind of frustrating me now about it is like, I was a cutter in high school and then I stopped and then I picked up. It's weird. It's like as soon as I drop some bad behavior, I pick up another one.
56:40🔗
Drew
Attempting to regulate by primitive means because you don't have any other resources that are available to you. And really, in my experience, if you want to, these are, as you mentioned, you called them addictions. And I imagine there's some substances involved with this too. Why not avail yourself of a 12-step program? Because that, I mean, it sounds like a platitude. These are not sort of, hey, why don't you eat right and exercise more? This is a treatment process. If you really throw yourself into, it does add something to what you're doing already. And I wouldn't know what medicine she was on.
57:14🔗
Caller
I've been on a Fexer for almost two years. I was on Prozac, but I had a bad reaction to it.
57:46🔗
Adam
Let me ask you something with the Adriana's of the world. They can get good and functional, and they can be super successful in life. Man, they can make millions of dollars.
58:04🔗
Adam
That's what I'm saying. I mean, the Madonna's, although she's managed to sort of hang on.
58:14🔗
Drew
Lots of treatment. You see, if you've seen her progress, you notice this is a different person now.
58:24🔗
Adam
I think being out of the house a lot's good too, and having that guy on a different coast is good. Or you know what's good for a relationship? Living in a manner.
58:34🔗
Adam
People don't realize that when you live on top of somebody, I mean all the relationships I had, where I had that small one bedroom apartment and doubled down on the futon, and we lived, I lived in some bachelor pad size apartments. There was some singles. You know what I mean? Like I didn't have a bedroom, just the one room with the little kitchen. It don't take long to start arguing when you guys are locked in a broom closet together, essentially trying to live your life. It is nice when you got a little space. Some guy, somebody can go upstairs and watch TV and the other person go down in the den and read a book.
59:19🔗
Adam
All I'm saying is, is I think I swear some of these relationships work because they got twenty five thousand square feet and somebody can just go upstairs and sit in their four-post bed over there and read something and someone else can go down to the stables and do a little writing. You know what I mean? You're right. I mean, Drew, seriously, you got three kids. Your wife say she's a delight, but she's got a motor in her too. Imagine, and you're a man of passion. A man, imagine the five of you living in like a one bedroom. You know what I'm saying? The stress, the whatever.
1:00:03🔗
Adam
And now the mother-in-law is in the living room. Yeah. She's now on the Murphy bed in the living room. You guys can't find a little space to get a little coitus in. The kids are constantly fighting. You know what I'm talking about?
1:00:17🔗
Adam
You walk in the front door and when you open the front door, you see everybody who's in your house. There's nobody that's out of view.
1:00:32🔗
Drew
We only got out of a house that size like five years ago. We had that little place we were in.
1:00:43🔗
Drew
The first time he came over to my house for dinner with his wife-to-be, my kids threw off their clothes and started jumping off these sort of architectural appointments.
1:01:08🔗
Adam
I just, I just, I just, I'm sorry. I do not like the look at two-year-old genitalia, Drew. That's me. That's just me.
1:01:18🔗
Yes, sir.
1:01:23🔗
Caller
Let's get it on. All right. Germany or Florida. Two lawyers have asked the government to place the Bible on the national not for children list because it is too violent. In a statement to the government, they claim it preaches genocide, racism, and enmity towards Jews, gruesome executions for adulterers and homosexuals, the murder of one's own children, and many other perversities. The article continues, in these days of political panic and pandering over violence in the media, it's difficult to know whether these lawyers are serious or just trying to make a point, Germany or Florida.
1:02:07🔗
Adam
I think German, although I thought those people were for genocide, I didn't know they were against genocide.
1:02:21🔗
Adam
Cause they're really, you know, that's really, you know, they're folks, they're folks that have a rich, rich history and a love of genocide. So it's tough when you hear about some of them speaking out against it.
1:02:32🔗
Drew
It sounds so Florida, American, you know, the kind of BS, you know, proven a point kind of stuff. I don't think other countries waste their resources on that kind of thing.
1:02:49🔗
Adam
You really? You're going to Florida? I'm going to Germany just to mix it up a little bit. Dan, is it Germany or Florida?
1:03:17🔗
Alanna Ubach
I was just saying that Germany, they mean business. Yeah. When it comes to religion and cults and-
1:03:30🔗
Adam
Yeah. Slow talkers. But boy, they can build an oven over there. I'll tell you what, boy, they know how to build. Yeah. High quality over there in Germany.
1:03:39🔗
Adam
Yeah. The Crops makes lots of stuff over there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying. I know people, it's in poor taste to make fun of the Germans for trying to exterminate a race of people. Yeah. Because it was thousands of years ago.
1:03:56🔗
Adam
Oh no, wait a minute. Oh no, wait a minute. Yeah. No one's, you know, come on. Forgive and forget. There's six million Jews, 20 million Russians. Just move forward. Can we just shake that one off and move forward?
1:04:20🔗
Caller
Okay. So when I was younger, like sixth grade around, I started having like severe anxiety problems. And it got to the point where I couldn't go to school out of fear, just like being in a room with other people. But you know, at that age, you can't, you're not really familiar with it. And you didn't know, I didn't know what it was.
1:04:44🔗
Drew
I would think, I would, I would, if I were evaluating that, my highest suspicion would be that that was a depression.
1:04:54🔗
Caller
Yeah, it actually progressed into that. It went through junior high. It was pretty bad. And then around my sophomore year in high school, I was like, okay, there's definitely something wrong.
1:05:09🔗
Caller
Yeah, I started having anxiety attacks. I started cutting, I believe, my freshman year.
1:05:20🔗
Adam
They call me old fashioned, but back in my day, cutting just meant missing class and going to the reservoir. That would be cutting.
1:05:45🔗
Adam
Go ahead, Jessica. And everyone's just cutting on themselves. I seriously mean, when I was in high school, someone said, this person's a cutter. You'd be like, cutting class, cutting farts. I was like, what do you mean, cutter? Hold on a second. Let me say something. When did people start cutting? Did they always cut? And if they did cut, who knew about it? And what was done? And here's what I'm saying. Did it become an acceptable behavior that we gave a title to, and now it sort of became a disease, and now we treated it as such, or are there more effed up people now than there were 20 years ago?
1:06:22🔗
Drew
No, more abuse survivors, and as far as abuse survivors attend in this direction. Cutting's been around forever. It's just a human impulse, but I used to see it only behind the walls of a psychiatric hospital. Now it's sort of de rigueur. It's everywhere. It's all kids do this. More trauma survivors out there, and therefore more cutters, I think.
1:06:39🔗
Alanna Ubach
What does my sister say that, what she recommends for cutters is to hold ice? Like that helps? I don't know.
1:07:08🔗
Drew
This, by the way, is not that syndrome, I don't think. I think this is severe depression.
1:07:13🔗
Caller
Yeah, I would agree. When junior started until about my first year of college, a lot of stuff happened. I was raped. I found out my dad was cheating on my mother.
1:07:35🔗
Drew
This is the crazy hyperachieving over intrusive family. Are you in Newport or something?
1:07:56🔗
Caller
We were a very cold family until I came out with all this. It's all very hush-hush. Until my senior year, I had a suicide attempt, which is really more a cry for attention like, hey, I need help.
1:08:08🔗
Adam
Oh, by the way, as of last night, I don't like the cry for help anymore. I like to replace that with yelp for help.
1:08:17🔗
Adam
It's kind of cute, makes it nice. So it's like, it wasn't really a suicide attempt. It was just a yelp for help. It's got a little Dr. Seuss kind of vibe to it. It just in general makes a bad situation a little bit better. Yelp for help. Yeah. You do that thing where you're like, I have a 16-year-old daughter. She tried, she got herself and went into a bathtub. We think it was a yelp for help. And then the other person goes, oh, all right. Well, why did hop on pop thing? All right. So you had a yelp for help. And what are you on now? Are you on medication or anything?
1:08:49🔗
Caller
Well, that's the thing. I've been on several different medications and they all just make me very disassociated, very very cold and maybe maybe you need to adjust it. Yeah. Let's see. Selexa and Zoloft, Paxil. And then my last regimen was Prozac, Lithium, Lamactyl and Risperdal.
1:09:14🔗
Caller
Yeah, I'm diagnosed bipolar. But the thing is, like, I, I've read up a lot on it just because all the meds.
1:09:27🔗
Adam
Well, I was thinking to myself, maybe this Tom Cruise has a point. You know, I mean, here's, here's the thing. You've tried every med in the book.
1:09:35🔗
Drew
No, no, it is that she's on a very aggressive, but reasonable combination and she's better.
1:09:46🔗
Drew
You can tell she's better just because you can feel it. I mean, yeah, you feel she's not cutting and feeling relatively stable.
1:09:50🔗
Adam
She doesn't sound, yes, you don't sound, you don't sound like you're spinning out of control. But on the other hand, you it's sad. All right, let me talk to everyone. It's sad to see young people sort of becoming doctors and and and go ahead. And, you know, here's the thing. People used to talk about a stigma, like when people find out you're at the therapist, then you people think you call kids make fun of you. They call you crazy, become stigmatized. And you would worry about society creating a stigma. People are creating a stigma within their own skeleton now. Like they're walking around feeling like I'm broken, I'm nuts. I'm on all these meds. I have this diagnosis, I have that diagnosis. And now they're just sort of doing it to themselves in a weird way. Forget about society. I'm not saying that she doesn't have problems and I isn't not saying she doesn't need to be realistic about it. But to walk around all day with is your sort of mantra of I'm bipolar, I need help, this and that. Maybe that's not the greatest approach. Maybe take the meds like somebody takes a multivitamin every morning and then then get on with life. Start doing some pushups, do a little dance and take a jog, find a job.
1:11:08🔗
Adam
I think we're giving people that option now and I think a lot of them are latching on to it.
1:11:19🔗
Adam
Alright, so here's my thing. You have a problem and you're taking care of it and now let's move forward. Take care of it but that doesn't become who you are.
1:11:30🔗
Caller
Yeah, I got off the meds. I haven't been on them for about six months and because like you guys are saying, like I don't want to diagnose myself bipolar and just like kind of give into it, you know, like, oh, it's okay that I'm this way because I'm bipolar, so I got off the meds and I just been, you know, up and down, up and down and I was wondering if I should just get back on the meds.
1:11:55🔗
Drew
Yes, you should be on something. You should be taking the advice of somebody you trust who's well trained and clearly you should be in some sort of long-term therapy. Yeah. All right.
1:12:02🔗
Adam
So go do that. And the part that I was talking about is not, don't take your meds. Take your meds like somebody pops an aspirin in the morning and then go about your way. I don't walk around all day thinking about the multivitamin.
1:12:22🔗
Adam
Here's what's going on. Yes. Your religion becomes your identity sometimes. Your affliction becomes your identity. The color of your skin becomes your identity. Everything. For some people, your job becomes, your team becomes your identity. Stop with everything becoming your identity, please. Or have more than one. All right. Please. The fact that you're a Yankees fan, that can't be it. You got to have a couple. Would you please? Everyone's so one dimensional. So like I'm this fan. I'm that guy. I'm into this. I'm extreme this. I get tats. That's my identity. I get aggressive piercings. That's my identity. Like whatever it is, don't just have one of those things. Be a renaissance person. Be a collage of many great things and keep them to your goddamn self.
1:13:16🔗
Adam
Dave Kupaj and shut the f up. That's those are the two things everyone needs to work on.
1:13:58🔗
Caller
This is Friday night at Oakland Arena. Nine Inch Nails live with Queen To The Stone Age and Auto Lux. Nine Inch Nails with Queen To The Stone Age and Auto Lux. Live. Live. Tickets on sale now. Available through Ticketmaster or at 8concerts.com. Brought to you by your friends at Another Planet. For more info, check out nin.com. Nine Inch Nails live with special guest Queen To The Stone Age and Auto Lux.
1:14:49🔗
Alanna Ubach
All right, everybody, listen up. Time to meet the man or woman of your dreams.
1:15:06🔗
Alanna Ubach
I'm a college student, theater major, cat person, good speller, wish I was taller.
1:15:25🔗
Caller
Okay, it's a guy who goes to McDonald's, gets double cheeseburgers, McChicken sandwiches, fries, hot fudge sundaes, apple pies.
1:15:35🔗
Caller
Because you know the money I save off the dollar menu will go directly to showering you with expensive gifts.
1:15:58🔗
Caller
Well, when I got it from the dealer, I had them add a lot of stuff they had available, you know, like alloys, spoiler, TYC taillights, LED interior light kits. The cupholders light up too. I like lights. Cool.
1:16:09🔗
Caller
You get a lot of looks. Yeah, no, definitely. And people ask me about the car all the time, but I don't do it for that. It's more for me. And I'm selfish that way, I guess.
1:16:18🔗
Caller
Customize your Scion a little or a lot. The journey to your perfect car starts at your local Scion dealership or scion.com, where an XA like Kano's starts at well below 15,000 MSRP and you can load it up with over 30 factory accessories, all backed by the Scion warranty. Scion, what moves you? MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fees, excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment, accessories sold separately, actual dealer price may vary.
1:16:45🔗
Caller
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1:18:08🔗
Adam
That's Dr. Drew to my left. Alanna Ubach is here tonight. Hi. Got herself a little movie out. Well, it's not out yet.
1:18:55🔗
Adam
She goes, I mean, she beams, you know? I think she could find love with a woman, a man. She's a raccoon. You know what I mean? She could find love.
1:19:07🔗
Adam
A good midget and speaking of loving herself. As a woman of passion, Drew, imagine taking your passion and ramming it into a vagina. And I don't mean it that way.
1:19:26🔗
Adam
No, don't laugh. You know what I'm saying? Taking a lot of this passion and pushing it into a vagina.
1:19:35🔗
Adam
You know what I mean? Well, you know what I'm saying, Drew. I'm not trying to be funny. I'm saying imagine you with your passion.
1:19:44🔗
Adam
And a vagina. Imagine how fluid you would be. There'd be nothing off limits. You know what I'm saying? Women, men, wouldn't matter.
1:21:13🔗
Adam
What do you do with that community? Oh, he's just putting a euphemistic spin on it. John, what do you do though at this community college?
1:21:26🔗
Caller
I thought maybe. This is a fancy name. You know, we come up with a bio sanitation engineer.
1:21:41🔗
Drew
Well, now that is an interesting thing. That's sort of way of redeeming spending all your time at the junior college. It's a much more proud, much more appropriate way to spend one's time there.
1:21:52🔗
Adam
I'll tell you the cool thing about being a janitor to junior college. If you're a janitor at Brown or Princeton or Yale, the kids look down their noses at you. If you're a janitor to junior college, you're the biggest winner in the place.
1:22:08🔗
Adam
You have a purpose. You're making 46 grand a year. I mean, you're the king of all kings at this place. Just, oh, the janitors entered the hall. That's a big deal.
1:22:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's what you don't want to be. You don't want to be a janitor at a good place. You don't be like Goodwill Hunting. You don't want that. You want to be over at Harvard and be a janitor. You go to junior college and be a janitor. You're the richest man on campus. Perfect.
1:22:37🔗
Adam
And you can get laid too because like this guy's got a full time gig. He just cleaned up some dog crap in the quad. So what's up there, John?
1:22:50🔗
Caller
Okay. This is for Dr. Drew here. I don't know. My hands started burning one day and my feet started burning. Both of them started burning anyway. They peeled. Okay. Now I had went to a doctor, had general herpes at one time, and he gave me Condylox. That sounds familiar.
1:23:22🔗
Drew
Well, the peeling is just a reaction to the inflammation of the skin and the soles in the hands, the palms. When the inflammation goes down, the skin peels, it dies and peels off.
1:23:39🔗
Drew
No, forget the general awards. Forget. It has nothing to do with this. I know you're using your hands a lot on your genitalia, but that has nothing to do with this.
1:23:49🔗
Drew
That's what I think. This is typically an allergic reaction or a chemical reaction. Why it's symmetrical in all four, I can't quite figure out. There are rheumatic conditions.
1:23:59🔗
Drew
Well, if you want to start to speculate about this, there are vasculitis conditions, even things like rickettsial diseases. Sometimes syphilis can do this. There are way weird things that can do this.
1:24:14🔗
Adam
Let me just say this. I don't know why, but I was thinking of these janitorial products. There used to be something called janitor in a drum.
1:24:25🔗
Adam
Everything's foaming. What is that? Here's all I'm saying. Here's my take on all this stuff. If it doesn't work on glass, put huge bold letters on it because twice a year, I grab the simple green and I think I'm going to do the windshield and I end up putting this weird film on my car windshield. It's like, I grabbed some cleaning stuff and then as I'm driving, it looks like it's just like fog. Then even after I clean it three or four times with the Windex, eventually, it still has this weird little film. There's some stuff that just will muck up a windshield or glass or whatever. You're going to have a hard time getting it off. I'm just saying, it should just be big and bold. Do not use this on your glass.
1:25:07🔗
Drew
You lost a lot on this one. You lost her. She thought you were hot, so you went into the glass thing.
1:25:51🔗
Caller
Well, my mom, my dad, and my brother all smoke weed. They're, all three of them, alcoholics. Me, my sister, and myself don't smoke weed. However, I'm afraid that I'm going to inhabit all three. You know, I'm going to inhabit their attributes as far as being alcoholics and pot smokers.
1:26:16🔗
Drew
Are you merely frightened about that that could happen? Or have you seen that you have momentum with substances?
1:26:22🔗
Drew
No, but I mean, is there evidence for this? Have you, do you tend to get momentum with alcohol, say?
1:26:32🔗
Drew
Hold on, and are you resistant to the intoxicating effects of alcohol? Can you drink your friends under the table?
1:26:40🔗
Caller
I can, however, I don't like to drink, just because whenever I do, when I just think that, oh my god, I'm going to become like my mom, my dad, and my brother.
1:26:50🔗
Drew
All right, so that is one of the reasons that people will not express the genetic potential for alcoholism. They have sort of an aversive response to it.
1:26:57🔗
Drew
What does happen sometimes to people with that sort of experience, though, is that they get on painkillers later, they don't realize that they're getting strung out, sleeping medicine, that kind of thing.
1:27:06🔗
Adam
Let's do a little scenario. A guy like John, he has the alcoholic gene, let's just say. He's acutely aware of it, so he does not want to touch booze, he doesn't want to touch weed, not quiet down.
1:27:18🔗
Drew
Just for the sake of argument, the genes have been isolated, something called the LL allele of the serotonin transporter and something called a proline serine substitution, the GABA-A receptors. Point is, the genes have now been identified, the probable genes have been identified.
1:27:35🔗
Drew
And they make people resistant to the intoxicating effects of alcohol, it's the GABA-A.
1:27:38🔗
Adam
But hold on, please, hold on, Alanna, hold on a second. First, you see what happens? I have a provocative point to bring up. You crap all over me.
1:27:46🔗
Adam
Okay, now, sure, sure, now, now that the coast is clear for passionate drought. Now, he sits on this urge because he sees what's happened to his family and how it's destroyed them. And now he makes it into his 40s, he doesn't touch booze, he doesn't touch weed.
1:28:07🔗
Adam
Lo and behold, he's out cleaning the gutters on the roof one day and he falls off the ladder.
1:28:16🔗
Adam
And he hurts his, well just let me make it be the hip. He hurts the hip and he goes in and the doctor tells him it's a mild fracture and he's going to pain and he gives him some Vicodin.
1:28:28🔗
Adam
And they get a thing of Vicodin and all of a sudden the guy's 42, he's never touched anything before in his life and the guy's just doing what the doctor told him, he takes a Vicodin because he has the pain in his whatever. And the doctor told him, look, if the pain continues, take a second one, that'll be fine. And next thing you know, he's taking two and three and then three weeks into it, pow, game on.
1:28:57🔗
Drew
And they start, well not phantom, but these things, these are severe crushing pain in the spine, they go to pain specialists and neurosurgeons. And oh my God, there are three discs out of line. As with every upright human on earth over the age of 40.
1:29:13🔗
Adam
Well, when I said phantom pain, I just meant your body is now creating a reason to get more of what it needs, which is that opiate.
1:29:39🔗
Adam
Oh, my God. Absolutely. Oh, my God. You'd be like, sweetie, not tonight. I'm like, no. She'd be one of these chicks where it's like, she'd be trying to roll you over in your sleep and you're like, come on, baby.
1:29:53🔗
Adam
Long time, two hours. Come on, I'm trying to sleep. No, I got to sleep it off. I got a long day and she's trying to actually roll you over in your sleep.
1:30:03🔗
Alanna Ubach
I'm like five feet tall. I'm five one. I mean, that's all it takes is one Marguerite and that's it. The truth immediately comes out.
1:30:20🔗
Drew
We'll be right back. Find out who the winner was, by the way, of our iPod Nano. Oh, yeah.
1:30:51🔗
Adam
Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Oh, Jeff Probst's in here tomorrow from Survivor. Love that show. Alanna Ubach in tonight. Hi. Loving Alanna. I'm gonna find her IMDB. Oh, biography.
1:31:18🔗
Adam
Yeah, do me a favor. Alanna, read just a little bit. Read some of your bio. Ask your father.
1:31:25🔗
Alanna Ubach
Alanna Ubach. Biography. Alanna Ubach was born a drama queen. But her family, but her family humble beginnings also made her hard worker, gloriente and irrespective. Why else would a petite, beautiful, young Latina, who wrote this?
1:32:19🔗
Adam
Drew, if you'd listen to me and stop competing with the guests, you'd realize that she just called the... Go ahead and say the movie again, please.
1:32:51🔗
Alanna Ubach
And she watched Higleytown Heroes as Plunky Biscuit and Meaty, Meaty, Meaty Mothers.
1:33:02🔗
Alanna Ubach
Girls, Christmas, Brandy, Mr. Whiskers, 30 Days Until I'm Famous, Heart Scramble, Jackal, Nobody Knows Anything, Wasabi Donut, Legally Blonde 2, Red, White and Blonde.
1:34:21🔗
Caller
Well, I have this small spot like the size of a quarter on the inside of my labia, just above my clitoris, that is really, really sore and painful.
1:34:42🔗
Caller
It's with it, like it's just above my clitoris, like right at the top of my vagina, just within my labia. I don't know if I have the terminology correct or not.
1:35:02🔗
Caller
Like where might, where, okay, where the vaginal lips come up and meet at the very top and that's the rounded part there.
1:35:19🔗
Adam
No kidding. Most of the ones I've seen haven't been hooked up. They've been like those microwaves at IKEA. You know, they're just there for display.
1:35:48🔗
Drew
But she keeps saying where the labia come together, which is here, clitoris is above that.
1:36:06🔗
Adam
Drew, is there anything else you want to point to that's not any of the other people can't see, any of the bios you want to read or TVs you want to gesture to?
1:36:19🔗
Caller
I could be, I could be wrong. What I mean is like the outer shape of the vagina, just above my clitoris.
1:36:27🔗
Drew
All right, it's, all right, A, it's below your clitoris, and you better sort of work out that in that.
1:36:50🔗
Drew
It's probably a Bartholin cyst. And those are common, and it's no big deal. Hot towels, that kind of thing, you just take care of it.
1:37:14🔗
Caller
It's been kind of off and on. I would think that it would maybe be like a yeast infection or something.
1:37:32🔗
Adam
Oh, whatever. Chicks and their sense of direction is so effed up. Everyone close your eyes and think of all the great-
1:37:39🔗
Adam
Close your eyes, please, and think of all the great female explorers throughout history.
1:38:29🔗
Adam
Huge fan. Yep, big stars, big movie. Go out and see and support our friends. And yes, Drew.
1:38:40🔗
Adam
All right, we'll take a little break. So Jeff Probst in here tomorrow night from Survivor. Looking forward to that. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.
1:38:50🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.