Sunday, August 28, 2005

0:57🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:05🔗 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:08🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21🔗 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-Dr. Drew, board certified physician, an addiction medicine specialist and a passionate, passionate man. And tonight, our guest is someone you haven't heard of. That's because he's here via the Make A Wish Foundation. Jaimeson Jones has testicular cancer, and he's 15 years of age, and he got involved with the Make A Wish Foundation, and his wish was to be here on Loveline.

1:52🔗 Drew Some psychological problems also.

1:53🔗 Adam Well, it's obviously self-esteem issues.

1:54🔗 Drew Self-esteem anyway, yes.

1:56🔗 Adam Could be caused by the chemo. But Jaimeson, welcome to the show.

2:00🔗 Jaimeson Jones Thanks.

2:00🔗 Adam So we'll talk about your condition, and for once, it's nice to have the boring Dr. Drew here to decipher some of this stuff. But why us? Why did you decide to come see us?

2:12🔗 Jaimeson Jones I couldn't think of anything else. Well, there you go.

2:15🔗 Drew That's about honest, yeah.

2:17🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah. I thought of a lot of things, but I'm not exactly a creative person, and I've listened to the show for quite some time. So yeah.

2:27🔗 Adam Well, we're honored. Drew was speaking to Jaimeson about his cancer as I walked in, but I don't know if I got everything. So where are we at with it?

2:37🔗 Drew It's basically the Lance Armstrong tumor.

2:39🔗 Adam It is?

2:39🔗 Drew Yeah. Same surgeon, same oncologist.

2:42🔗 Adam Oh, really?

2:42🔗 Drew Yep. Same everything.

2:43🔗 Jaimeson Jones Oh, yeah. Not quite as bad.

2:45🔗 Adam You know, his was worse.

2:48🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah. Got into the brain and the lungs.

2:50🔗 Adam It starts in the testicles and moves upward.

2:53🔗 Drew Right up the lymph nodes and then it gets into the lungs and the brain if it's there long enough.

2:57🔗 Adam Wow.

2:58🔗 Drew And he was a little more obstinate about getting treatment as I recall.

3:01🔗 Adam At Lance was?

3:02🔗 Drew Yeah.

3:02🔗 Adam I thought he got it immediately.

3:04🔗 Drew No.

3:05🔗 Adam No.

3:05🔗 Drew No.

3:05🔗 Adam No. No?

3:06🔗 Drew He sort of, he sort of, people said he got to get it checked out.

3:09🔗 Adam Oh, well, checked out is different than treatment.

3:11🔗 Drew He went once he was convinced there was something really bad.

3:14🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

3:15🔗 Drew Will you switch your mic with me?

3:16🔗 Adam But that's a Drew's mic is no good.

3:18🔗 Drew It's making, it's been weird since last week.

3:20🔗 Makes you sound worse than you are.

3:22🔗 Drew Thanks, Anderson.

3:23🔗 Adam Yeah.

3:24🔗 Drew What the hell does that mean? I was just talking around, buddy. Come on.

3:27🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey.

3:28🔗 Drew So, switch mics.

3:29🔗 Adam The mic sounds fine to me, but whatever it is, it's been screwed up since the last time. So, anyway, Jaimeson, you're 15, you're from Bothell, Washington, and that puts you in the 10th grade?

3:44🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

3:44🔗 Adam Going into the 10th grade?

3:46🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

3:47🔗 Adam And so, what's the prognosis? You've had your chemotherapy, you've had some surgeries?

3:52🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, I've had three.

3:54🔗 Adam And do you have to have more?

3:57🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, I get one more. It's two combined in one, you know? They just do them at the same time.

4:02🔗 Adam Yeah. It's like we're switching Drew's mic out. It's like while the car's up on the rack, as long as they're going to do the brakes, they'll repack the front bearings as long as the rims are off kind of thing. So, like, while they have you open, they'll do this. But this would have been a death sentence some years ago. Would it have not? I mean...

4:23🔗 Drew Throughout history.

4:24🔗 Adam Throughout history. Yeah, I know. It's not like they could have cured them a thousand years ago, but 500, they lost the recipe. It's like the ancient Romans with cement.

4:32🔗 Drew The Eastern European, the Asians, before they had the recipe.

4:35🔗 Adam Oh, well, the Asians. I'll tell you, you want to get rid of that cancer. Forget about the gamma knife and forget about the oncologist. You need to see an old Chinaman.

4:44🔗 Drew That's all.

4:45🔗 Adam Yeah.

4:45🔗 Drew It does it.

4:46🔗 Adam The wisdom of the Orient. It's awesome. He'll give you some green tea. It'll be fine.

4:51🔗 Drew That's a curable cancer now.

4:53🔗 Adam What do you do with all those kind of little espresso enema? Come on, man. Here's the thing, Drew. What gave him cancer?

5:00🔗 Drew The man.

5:01🔗 Adam The man. Toxic environment. Of course. What do you got?

5:05🔗 Drew Because before modern history, cancer didn't exist.

5:07🔗 Adam Didn't exist until Dacron was invented in 1964. Yeah. You must be sitting too close to the television set or what do you do? A lot of radiation. Red meat.

5:18🔗 Drew High voltage wires near you.

5:19🔗 Adam Yeah. High voltage wires. Yeah. I would say that it would have to be environmental pollutants for sure. You know, that latex paint.

5:28🔗 Drew Because we can't accept the fact that random things can happen. That's not possible.

5:32🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. I know. It's just some people get cancer. Some people get sick. It's like some people getting hit by lightning or some people getting in the car crashes. Some people being thrown off horses. What is that?

5:46🔗 Drew Well, that's somebody caused that. The lightning and the horse.

5:49🔗 Adam I'm just saying when Chris Reeves gets thrown off a horse and breaks his neck, no one wants to know what he did wrong and no one wants to know what the horse did wrong. But if someone gets cancer, everyone says, you see, I told you, you're eating too much of that processed food and you're standing too close to the microwave. We're like superstitious natives.

6:09🔗 Drew Primitive man, yeah.

6:10🔗 Adam You're a primitive man. We can't just understand the fact that certain things happen to certain people for no good reason and often times good people, like young Jaimeson over here, I'm going on a limb and figuring you're a decent guy, or at least you're too young to go bad. I'm sure in years to come.

6:26🔗 Drew And lived a good life.

6:27🔗 Adam And led a good life, that bad things can happen to good people freaks everybody out. It really does freak people out, so then we have to ascribe things.

6:36🔗 Drew You were 14 when this all came down, right?

6:38🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

6:38🔗 Drew Could you really understand what's going on?

6:41🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, I mean, I was never scared I was gonna die or anything.

6:45🔗 Drew Because they gave you a pretty good prognosis, I'm sure.

6:49🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah. What? Oh, I don't know. I think it was like, poor, I think is what they said.

6:55🔗 Adam Really?

6:56🔗 Drew Poor prognosis.

6:58🔗 Jaimeson Jones But.

6:59🔗 Adam What's poor mean?

7:00🔗 Jaimeson Jones Bad.

7:00🔗 Drew Less than 20 percent?

7:04🔗 Jaimeson Jones I had a better chance than that, but yeah, I'm not sure exactly.

7:08🔗 Adam Well, 50-50 is 50-50. Poor is less than 20?

7:12🔗 Drew That's around in there.

7:13🔗 Jaimeson Jones I think it was like a 45 percent chance that I wouldn't need to have to do, additional chemo, like 45 percent chance that it wouldn't come back.

7:24🔗 Drew Right.

7:24🔗 Adam So how does the process work now and then how do they monitor it, and how's the next few years going to go?

7:32🔗 Jaimeson Jones I get CAT scans and blood draws pretty much for the next five years.

7:37🔗 Adam Every, how often do you get the blood draw?

7:39🔗 Jaimeson Jones Like a year after my last surgery, every six months is a CAT scans and every two, three months is a blood draw.

7:50🔗 Drew How are the tumor markers doing? It's a blood test. Are they staying pretty constant?

7:54🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah. They're normal.

7:55🔗 Drew They're staying down. Then the CAT scans, they've got still some nodes to go after?

7:59🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah. They figure none of it's cancer, it's just other masses.

8:05🔗 Drew They're fishing around.

8:06🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

8:06🔗 Adam Drew, what about that stuff you hate so much, all that full body screening and all that stuff?

8:12🔗 Drew Could that have picked this up?

8:13🔗 Adam Well, just in general, does it do anything?

8:16🔗 Drew It could have picked this up.

8:17🔗 Adam What about blood draws?

8:19🔗 Drew You wouldn't test this.

8:19🔗 Adam You got to know what you're checking for.

8:21🔗 Drew Yes. These are things to mark the progression and receding tumor masses.

8:27🔗 Adam Will we see a day where you put a drop of blood into a thing, into a computer, and it checks for five billion things? You know what I mean?

8:36🔗 Drew Yes, something like that. But people have way too much faith or believe mysteriously that everything can be measured in the blood, or everything can be seen anatomically. Two different things and a combination of things. Now, for instance, with Jaimeson's thing, testicular self-examination is better than full body scan.

8:56🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, it is.

8:57🔗 Drew So, did you find this yourself or?

9:00🔗 Jaimeson Jones We didn't go into the emergency room until it was extremely painful. It was just unbearable.

9:07🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:08🔗 Drew Had you found something in your testy before that and said, hey, what's this?

9:11🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah. When I was like 11, I went into the urologist and they said it was like a varicoseal.

9:18🔗 Drew It was the same tumor.

9:19🔗 Adam That's what Drew does to people.

9:20🔗 Jaimeson Jones Well, I think it was a tumor and a varicoseal actually.

9:24🔗 Drew Wow, so varicoseal hiding in tumor kind of.

9:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:26🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

9:27🔗 Adam Drew, if you turn on the radio or the TV, you think AIDS and breast cancer are the only two things that take American lives.

9:36🔗 Drew Yeah, and heart attack and stroke.

9:38🔗 Adam Yeah, once in a while, but they don't really tell you what to do about that.

9:40🔗 Drew Right.

9:41🔗 Adam They're always raising money for the AIDS and always raising money for the breast cancer. What about the dudes? Let me say this too.

9:47🔗 Drew You said this for a long time.

9:48🔗 Adam Here's what I've said. Hello, we die 10 years before you broads do. Hello? In the ground, 10 years before you guys go in.

9:57🔗 Drew On average.

9:58🔗 Adam Yeah, so take 10 men and 10 women, we're in the ground 100 years. 100 years. Anyone want to focus on this? We're still going to do another 10K walk for breast cancer. You guys got 10 years on us. Here's all I'm saying. Until we get even, we scrap all your crap. All the breast and ovarian, all the chick stuff, scrap until we get even, then we start looking at both things.

10:23🔗 Drew I think the reason that doesn't happen-

10:24🔗 Imagine if chicks died 10 years before we did.

10:27🔗 Drew Or any race or anything.

10:28🔗 Or anybody. Anybody. Imagine if anybody died-

10:33🔗 Drew Other white men.

10:33🔗 Adam Other white men. I'm just saying, all I'm saying is if women died at 62 and men died at 72, we would stop everything and start looking into this immediately. 10 years they have on us.

10:46🔗 Drew The reason there is this discrepancy is the tumors that we're talking about that affect women take out young women. Yeah. Men just literally fall apart 10 years before women. That's it. They just go pow. It's not like they get some illness that takes them out 10 years or drags down their average. Yeah. They just fall apart.

11:03🔗 Adam I know you say this, I don't have a leg to stand on medically here, but I really just look at the human body like an automobile, and I'm driving mine into the ground. Meanwhile, my wife, she and the dog are going to be at the day spa because the dog's getting a makeover too. That's her day. Every day is a spa day. Every day for me is just a thousand phone calls with a thousand idiots.

11:27🔗 Drew In her case, she's going to live you by 30 years.

11:29🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I just look at ourselves like it's just a piece of farm equipment. It's just being run and run, never oiled, never changed, just run. Meanwhile, my wife actually tractors parked in the living room with a tarp on it.

11:43🔗 Drew Nice.

11:44🔗 Adam That's how I look at it. That's what I think, Drew.

11:46🔗 Drew Why not? There's something to that, for sure. I've noticed a lot of my Alzheimer's patients were very high-driven, high-success men, like admirals and stuff.

11:55🔗 They burned up their brain.

11:56🔗 Drew At Bragan, look at this.

11:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

11:58🔗 Drew You wonder.

11:59🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm going to start icing mine starting tonight. It's 150 degrees. You hear Los Angeles. It's only 120 in the studio right now. Is it me?

12:09🔗 Drew How many times have I complained?

12:13🔗 Adam Jameson, it's going to be awesome. You could see us complain.

12:16🔗 Drew Jameson is going to think that you come here 10 minutes early every night, which was like, what?

12:20🔗 Adam I know.

12:21🔗 Drew And that you talk about bunkers on top of hills in Malibu.

12:25🔗 Adam Yeah. I know. I really screwed up poor Jameson.

12:28🔗 Drew Normally, he's here 59 and 40 seconds.

12:32🔗 Adam Yeah. I get here approximately, I average two and a half minutes before the show starts.

12:37🔗 Drew Two and a half minutes finishes a phone call in the hall. And comes in 20 seconds before the show starts.

12:40🔗 Adam Well, I knew young Jameson or somebody else was going to be here tonight that I needed to talk to. And no, you know, I decided Sunday night, so you get a little traffic out there.

12:49🔗 Drew Yes, you get a little traffic.

12:50🔗 Adam I decided to hit the road a few minutes early.

12:51🔗 Drew Framely, no traffic tonight.

12:52🔗 Adam No, and I drive at 90 miles an hour, so I just get here early. All right. Where were we? Oh, let me say something about traffic because a bunch of things happened to me. I did a lot of driving this weekend. This weekend. I went down to the beach. I was on the road. I was working on Saturday. I was working a lot. I was driving around a lot, and I saw on three separate occasions, somebody doing that thing where they were turning right from the left lane. I was coming up on a signal, somebody had screwed up. You know that thing where you're at the signal and you look up and you go, oh, I'm not going right on the next intersection. This is mine, and I'm in the left lane. So what do they do? Crank the car around. What do they do? Stop both lanes. Someone did it on PCH. It was a disaster. And I'm looking ahead and no one is honking. Nobody honks in Los Angeles. No honkers. Rude people, horrible people.

13:47🔗 Drew Well, it's not clear what the-

13:48🔗 Adam Generate people, but not honkers.

13:50🔗 Drew It's not clear what the horn is for in California because there's all these anti-honk laws.

13:55🔗 Adam Right.

13:55🔗 Drew You can't honk here.

13:56🔗 Adam People are scared to honk.

13:58🔗 Drew Yes. We're afraid to speed, afraid to honk, afraid to-

14:02🔗 Adam I'm going to start a campaign called Honk If You Like Honking.

14:05🔗 Drew Honk and move your ass.

14:07🔗 Adam Shake your ass.

14:07🔗 Drew Shake your ass and honk.

14:08🔗 Adam Honk yourself.

14:09🔗 Drew If you feel like honking.

14:11🔗 Adam Here's my point. This guy, whoever it was, and it happened three times over the weekend-

14:17🔗 Drew Did you honk?

14:18🔗 Hell, I honked at people that tell them to honk.

14:21🔗 Drew Okay. Yeah. All right.

14:22🔗 Adam I honked at people that aren't honking.

14:24🔗 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

14:25🔗 Adam And they look at me and they go, Maniac.

14:27🔗 What do you want me to do?

14:28🔗 Adam And I go, Honk, you idiot. Honk at the person. They've stopped two lanes. Here's what it is. You missed your turn. You missed your off-ramp. You missed whatever. Whatever it is, you're the captain of your own crappy chevette. You know what I mean? You misread your charts or your sexton is bent or the North Star's not out and you missed your turn off. Fine.

14:53🔗 Drew Too bad.

14:54🔗 Adam Now, you got to go around. You go to the next signal, you turn right, you turn right again, and you double back. You've decided you're going to inconvenience everybody else times 50 cars all piled up.

15:06🔗 Drew Excuse me, excuse me, pardon me thing and get across and then go. If you can do it in a beat.

15:11🔗 Adam If you can do it in a beat, if you can do it in a dukes of hazard move that involves an E-brake, you can do it. But you just stopping there. Now, essentially, you've made a barrier so that both lanes, right or left, can't go and the signal is green and nobody's honking. And I thought in New York, immediately they just start honking.

15:33🔗 Drew Who got out of the car?

15:34🔗 Adam And they shame. Oh, they start honking and the fist starts flying out the window and people get scared and they just can't take it. I mean, when two cars are parked up against your passenger door and both of them are leaning on the horn, every second feels like an hour and you're forced to do something. Hopefully, something crazy that kills a pedestrian, but you're forced to do something. Nobody honking. And I just realized, is it etiquette or is everyone just scared, assless and confused?

16:01🔗 Drew They're scared, assless. Come on, the laws are the driving laws here.

16:04🔗 Adam Listen, people, start using your goddamn horns. When somebody is blocking the way, when someone is being... You're not being inconsiderate by honking. They're stopping traffic. All right, please, everybody, honk. All right, this whole...

16:18🔗 Drew Take some calls. Here we go.

16:20🔗 Adam I'm going back to Washington.

16:23🔗 Drew DC or where Jaimeson's from?

16:25🔗 Adam I'm going with Jaimeson. But first, I'm going to DC to send a message to those fat cats.

16:30🔗 Drew Oh.

16:31🔗 Adam I am convinced I could win a campaign, but just repeating, I'm sending a message to those fat cats in Washington. Anytime someone sent me like, where do you stand on immigration? Well, I'll tell you where I stand. I'll tell you one thing right now. I'm going to go to Washington. I'm going to send a message to those fat cats up in Washington. I would end every sentence with that. I'm sure 51 percent of the vote based on my, tell those fat cats in Washington to shove it. Harmony?

17:00🔗 Yes.

17:01🔗 Adam You're 30?

17:01🔗 Drew Hi, gentlemen.

17:02🔗 How are you?

17:02🔗 Drew What's happening?

17:04🔗 I had a question. My fiance and I went to a springer club last night and there was an oversized spa that we were interested in going in and we didn't, we were concerned if it's possible to catch any viruses.

17:16🔗 Drew I don't understand. You're having sex with people. You're not worried about that, but you're worried about the spa?

17:22🔗 We're not having sex with people, but there is a lot of sexual activity in the club. And so we're concerned about going into the spa, if it's possible to catch.

17:36🔗 Adam What are you doing in the club, if you're not swinging, so to speak?

17:40🔗 Well, we like the atmosphere and there's...

17:46🔗 Drew Oh, Harmony, come on.

17:47🔗 Adam Hold on. This just reminded me of something. I was at one of those... Here's the whole thing. If I'm running a swingers club, you're either in or you're out. I don't need any looky looks.

17:56🔗 Drew Yeah, but this may be Harmony's fiancee taking her down the path. You know what I'm saying? Breaking her in a little bit.

18:03🔗 Adam I see. I see.

18:04🔗 Drew It's a bad sign. She's so codependent on him. Just, whatever. Sure, honey. We'll go watch.

18:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

18:09🔗 Drew It'll be fun.

18:10🔗 Adam I was at the Bertano's. What's the bookstore called?

18:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:14🔗 Adam It's huge.

18:14🔗 Drew You mean library?

18:15🔗 Adam No, no. That's the place where they rent you the books. What's that place called?

18:20🔗 Drew Library.

18:21🔗 Adam Who the hell would want to borrow a book and then pay?

18:24🔗 Drew You mean Barnes and Noble?

18:25🔗 Adam Forget that. I was at a Barnes and Noble last night for some reason, just killing time, waiting for some tech. What? I was just, no, I was going to- You were at a place around books? I wanted to buy a-

18:36🔗 Drew Magazine, car magazine.

18:37🔗 Adam No, you have things that have the pictures on them that are circular, DVD. Yeah. Okay, but here's my point, Jaimeson, I don't know if you've hung out in any of these places. It's a Saturday night. People parked all over the place, just reading magazines, sitting on the edge of the stairs, all over, just spread out like Penn City.

18:56🔗 Caller No, I'm pissed.

18:57🔗 Adam If I own this place.

18:58🔗 Drew You own to buy some stuff.

18:59🔗 Adam Let's get moving, buddy. I don't need you to rape that Car and Driver magazine. You sit there, read the S out of it for four hours, and then you throw it back on the shelf? You either got $3.95 for the magazine, or you hit the bricks.

19:13🔗 Caller People camped out all over the place, just reading the book. And it's like.

19:18🔗 Drew Why did Harmony make you think of that?

19:20🔗 Adam Because she's going into the Swingers Club and not swinging.

19:24🔗 Drew I see. James, you get the correlation there. Reading books, not having sex with strange people.

19:29🔗 Adam When I walked out, I was angry. I was like, if I owned this place, I'd be just have an air horn or some mace. I'd be spraying people. Hey, Jack Kerouac, hit the road. Or buy something. It's like, look, I'm running a business. If I got a car dealership and you just say, hey, look, I want to get the car. Oh, no, I'm not interested in buying the car. I'm going to drive it for a while. Then when I'm done driving, I'll drop it back off.

19:55🔗 Drew Yeah, but this is why they put the coffee houses in there and stuff, so they rape people that way.

19:58🔗 Adam I swear to Christ, so the St. Beatniks is sitting there reading a magazine for an hour. Nobody moving, just flopped out all over the floor. They're not sitting anywhere.

20:07🔗 Drew I know.

20:08🔗 Adam I just kicked their asses right out of there.

20:09🔗 Drew Well, since Seattle's got a bunch of famous bookstores like that.

20:12🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, I just walk in by and get out.

20:13🔗 Adam Yeah, if you want to crack a novel and look at a couple pages of something that's three inches thick, that's fine. You're going through the Blender magazine. You're just reading the magazine and then putting it back on.

20:24🔗 Drew Right. Rick does this, I can tell.

20:25🔗 Adam Oh, Rick's nodding fearlessly.

20:27🔗 Drew He's like guilty and like, oh, jeez.

20:30🔗 Adam If the thing is 22 pages and you've skimmed over all of them, what? What other business works this way? That's all I'm saying. You know, you go to the movie theaters, reach around, grab a handful of popcorn.

20:46🔗 Drew Mr. Man.

20:47🔗 Adam I'm not going to buy popcorn. I'm just going to keep reaching around and nibbling on it.

20:50🔗 Drew Don't care about the little guy who was going in.

20:52🔗 Adam Screw them.

20:52🔗 Drew At least they buy Mr. Man's coffee.

20:55🔗 Adam I would be the world's worst bookstore owner.

20:57🔗 Drew Oh, fill in any word you like there, owner, and it would not be good.

21:02🔗 Adam Yeah. You read it, you buy it. That's my thing. Let's go. Flopping around on a Friday night. Don't you idiot have living rooms?

21:12🔗 Drew Here's the deal. Who's idea was to go to this place?

21:15🔗 Caller Mine.

21:16🔗 Drew Yours?

21:17🔗 Caller Yes.

21:18🔗 Drew Why? What do you want to do this?

21:20🔗 Caller Why do I want to do this? Because it's exciting and I like the atmosphere, like I said, and I am interested in swinging. We went for the first time three weeks ago and going into it, we didn't set the atmosphere.

21:34🔗 Drew Hang on a second, slow down. Yeah, hang on. Have you ever done anything like this before? No. Have your other boyfriends before your new fiancee been a pain in the butt?

21:46🔗 Caller Yeah, my ex-boyfriend.

21:47🔗 Drew Is this one of the first nice guys, good guys you've ever dated?

21:51🔗 Caller No, no, I've had nice guys before and I'm attracted to nice guys.

21:56🔗 Drew But you got to screw those up.

21:58🔗 Caller No, no, no. We had actually a bad experience three weeks ago, but.

22:02🔗 Drew What happened?

22:03🔗 Caller We, we, we swung and.

22:07🔗 Adam You swung?

22:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

22:09🔗 Drew So you did do it. Well, then you go. That's it. You've done it. You've screwed this relationship up nice.

22:13🔗 Caller No, no, no. We were, it actually has brought us closer now and.

22:18🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. Oh, those things always bring people closer, Harmony.

22:22🔗 Adam Yeah, that's my dad, my mom.

22:23🔗 Drew I've had 20 years, you've had your mom?

22:26🔗 Adam Yeah, they were on the brink of a divorce and they went out and banged some strangers, you know.

22:30🔗 Drew Well, you know, every professional I know recommends that as a way of healing a relationship.

22:33🔗 Adam Sure, that's how you deal with relationships.

22:34🔗 Drew Harmony, I've had a lot of experiences there and I've never seen it.

22:38🔗 Adam Not just couples, but father-son, daughter-father, all those relationships.

22:43🔗 Drew Why do you relationship with them?

22:43🔗 Adam Business relationships, professional.

22:45🔗 Drew Are you?

22:46🔗 Adam Yeah, that's how I'm just saying we should swing if we have a problem. All right. So what's, and look, I got another idea for a swinger's club too. You know they have those basketball leagues where it's like six foot and under, just so it's fair. I would have a weight limit. I would have the swinger's club with the weight.

23:04🔗 Drew I thought you'd been with the.

23:05🔗 Adam No, no, the penis. I'd work that too. I don't need to be shamed.

23:10🔗 Drew I thought you'd go right there.

23:11🔗 Adam I would have that too, but I also have a weight.

23:14🔗 Drew The five and under club.

23:16🔗 Adam I would have the six and under club for the man. The women, I would have a weight clause, which is you make it over 161. You have to head in. You've got to go upstairs.

23:29🔗 Drew Yeah, the problem is though, the 120 and under is going to go with an eight and over club. You know what I'm saying?

23:36🔗 Adam No, I'm putting a weight ceiling on the thing. And you don't know it. You don't step on a scale. We just have the floor wire.

23:43🔗 Drew Okay.

23:44🔗 Adam Hatch opens.

23:47🔗 Drew What do you have for dinner? Hash brownie? What happened here?

23:51🔗 Adam Yeah.

23:52🔗 Caller Harmony?

23:53🔗 Adam Yes.

23:54🔗 Drew All right. So we don't, this all smells of trouble to us.

23:56🔗 Adam Well, whatever. Do you have any kids?

23:58🔗 Drew Of course.

23:58🔗 Caller No.

23:59🔗 Adam Oh, good. What's wrong? Are you sterile or something?

24:02🔗 Caller I'm actually in line to get a tubal ligation. I'm getting sterile.

24:07🔗 Drew Because you had a bad childhood yourself?

24:10🔗 Caller No, I didn't have a bad childhood, but I look at the long-term consequences of having a child, and I think too much about it. Too much in the head.

24:21🔗 Adam No. Something's wrong with you. What's wrong? You show me a 30-year-old chick who doesn't want to bring a kid in this world. I'm going to show you a 30-year-old kid who was abused when they were nine.

24:30🔗 Drew Right. There's a book called Maternal Desire out there. It talks about the profound, profound drive to have children that women have that we never talk about, but it's an intrinsic, powerful, and erotic.

24:41🔗 Adam Harmony, what's your stepdad do to you?

24:45🔗 Caller Let's see. The only thing my stepdad did to me when we were younger, or when I was younger, we weren't close and he ridiculed me for bedwetting.

24:56🔗 Drew Oh, how old were you when you were bedwetting?

24:58🔗 Caller I was probably between five and ten.

25:02🔗 Drew Oh, up to ten. And then what happened with your biological father?

25:07🔗 Every other weekend, father and...

25:09🔗 Drew Why did he leave?

25:12🔗 Caller I guess my parents split up when I was a year old and...

25:16🔗 Drew Why?

25:17🔗 Caller He was abusive towards her.

25:19🔗 Drew I see, so all that. And then now what's he like now?

25:25🔗 Caller He's more into me now than I'm an adult and I'm not as interested in him because he's materialistic and... All right.

25:35🔗 Adam All right, Harmony. The only part of this call I like is the part where you're not having kids.

25:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

25:39🔗 Adam As far as the swinging goes, you're just going to sabotage your relationship.

25:43🔗 Drew Enjoy though, you'll see what happens. Yeah. Way up in your head, Harmony. You got all kinds of ideas. Problem is, humans don't follow ideological rhetoric and paths. It just they have a certain way of behaving and reacting and reacting to things and that's it. You set yourself up for something here and there's going to go.

26:00🔗 Adam Well, there's the belief. I'll speak to young Jaimeson here because this is sage advice. You're going to want to take back to the 10th grade. People think, humans emotionally aren't that much different than they are biologically. You need water and you need sustenance and you need sleep and you need oxygen and you need a few of those things. Once in a while, really smart ones think they can talk themselves out of this stuff, but Einstein couldn't talk himself out of a glass of water every day and it's the same sort of thing. You're so smart. You're all up in your head. You think you can say, we can have relations with other couples, we're mature, we're all in Europe.

26:43🔗 Drew Here's the deal. Communism looks good on paper.

26:45🔗 Adam Right. Doesn't work. Doesn't work no more. How smart you think you are, this is going to screw the relationship up. All right, Drew. Well, we've taken one call in the last 25 minutes. I hope you're happy.

26:55🔗 Drew Well, it's all for Jaimeson.

26:56🔗 Adam All for Jaimeson. Jaimeson Jones here tonight. He is a recipient of the Make A Wish Foundation. He has a testicular cancer.

27:06🔗 Drew Good news is they didn't spend much money on this one.

27:08🔗 Adam No. No, they did not. But Drew will treat you to a Kit Kat bar from the vending machine.

27:14🔗 Drew Sure. We'll be happy to.

27:16🔗 Adam And believe me, he's tight.

27:18🔗 Drew I'm breaking it out.

27:19🔗 Adam That's a big one. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this.

27:32🔗 Love Line is brought to you by the American Legacy Foundation's Truth Campaign.

27:36🔗 Jaimeson Jones It's free. It's informative. It's powerful. It's the truth.

28:02🔗 Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

28:04🔗 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Jaimeson Jones here tonight. I tell ya, once you lick this testicular cancer, oh, that's gonna be my saying.

28:21🔗 Drew Lick testicular cancer?

28:22🔗 Adam Let's lick. You're gonna make a hell of a-

28:25🔗 Drew Your new slogan?

28:26🔗 Adam Let's, together-

28:28🔗 Drew Let's lick testicular-

28:29🔗 Adam Together, we can.

28:30🔗 Drew We can't.

28:31🔗 Adam Together, we can lick testicular cancer. But once, once Jaimeson licks that testicular cancer, then Jaimeson Jones, PI.

28:41🔗 Drew Yeah, I like that. Well, he's gonna go on to do something great like Lance Armstrong did.

28:46🔗 Caller J, J, J.

28:48🔗 Jaimeson Jones I run cross-country, but you know.

28:50🔗 Drew Not athletically great. I mean, it doesn't have to be an athletic excess.

28:54🔗 Adam No, no. PI.

28:55🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

28:56🔗 Adam Jaimeson Jones, the lady's love him.

29:00🔗 Drew But you could put in DDS, MD, JD after his name and all those letters sound good.

29:04🔗 Adam Jaimeson Jones.

29:05🔗 Drew JD.

29:06🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah, no, that's good. Rave Doctor.

29:10🔗 Drew How's that?

29:12🔗 Adam It's a doctor. That's an important show, Drew.

29:15🔗 Drew Rave Doctor?

29:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Dig this.

29:18🔗 Drew You're pitching something?

29:19🔗 Adam Dig this show idea.

29:21🔗 Drew Doctor who goes from rave to rave and-

29:23🔗 Adam Guys, a guy who was a successful Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and tell his niece ODs at a rave.

29:30🔗 Caller Ah.

29:31🔗 Adam Okay?

29:32🔗 Caller Yeah. Okay?

29:33🔗 Adam Now, he goes from rave to rave saving kids, but looking for the dealer who dealt his niece the bad H.

29:43🔗 Drew Okay, we need a better name for the show, though.

29:45🔗 Adam Rave Doctor?

29:46🔗 Drew Yeah, no, no.

29:47🔗 Adam I don't think we do.

29:49🔗 Drew Just rave.

29:50🔗 Adam Eh, rave doctor. You know what I mean? Now he's helping the kids, but each rave, and he travels from rave to rave, and each rave.

29:58🔗 Drew And he's talking kids down off their LSD highs.

30:00🔗 Adam He's doing it, and there's overheating, and he's putting Gatorade on them and stuff, but he's still looking for the guy, the dealer, who gave the bad-

30:11🔗 Drew The Strick-Nine.

30:12🔗 Adam Strick-Nine Lace, he tried to step on the X with Strick-Nine. Sent his 14-year-old niece into convulsions. First rave, too. Didn't want to go. Just tried to be cool. Now he travels. He's given up his expensive Beverly Hills practice, saving kids and looking, looking for the man. You know what I mean?

30:35🔗 Drew We can add something else more realistic, like he travels in time.

30:38🔗 Adam Rave doctor.

30:39🔗 Drew I'm just saying, leaving the Beverly Hills practice and all that.

30:41🔗 Adam Come on. His niece died. Josh? You're 15?

30:47🔗 Caller That should be the next cartoon for sure.

30:51🔗 Adam That's right. Josh, what's up, my brother?

30:54🔗 I got a Germany and Florida for you.

30:55🔗 Adam All right.

30:56🔗 A city commission in blank has overwhelmingly recommended a scheme in which DNA samples will be collected from all dogs when they're in-

31:04🔗 Adam Hold on.

31:05🔗 Drew I didn't hear any of that.

31:06🔗 Adam A city in blank.

31:08🔗 Drew Say it again.

31:08🔗 Adam No, blank.

31:09🔗 Drew A city in blank.

31:10🔗 Adam Okay. It's getting slick because Jaimeson wants to play Germany or Florida.

31:14🔗 Drew I'm sure he wants to hear the theme song, too.

31:15🔗 Adam I'd like to hear the theme song.

31:17🔗 Drew Hold on a second, Josh. Quite a long second, maybe.

31:27🔗 Is it Germany or Florida? Hey! Germany or Florida? Let's find out.

31:47🔗 Drew Is that your favorite theme song?

31:50🔗 Adam You like the other one?

31:51🔗 Drew Things Are Sick and Twisted.

31:53🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, that one. Yeah, I think that would be my favorite.

31:55🔗 Drew Give him that one. Give him that one.

31:58🔗 Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis. Sex, meth, and death fetishes. Both of them have got these. Guaranteed not the Boria, Germany or Florida.

32:08🔗 Adam It's simple. It's stripped down, but it's effective.

32:11🔗 Drew Smile in his voice.

32:12🔗 Adam Yeah.

32:12🔗 Jaimeson Jones Very clever.

32:13🔗 Adam All right, Josh. So go ahead.

32:15🔗 Okay. A citizen commission in blank has overwhelmingly recommended a scheme in which DNA samples will be collected from all dogs when their annual licenses came up for renewal. Within one year, a database of the city's registered 12,500 canine residents will be complete. Sanitation workers would carry feces samples, kits, and submit evidence to a forensics laboratory where scientists could easily match dog to do. The dog's owner would then be promptly fined up to $600. The city's commission targeted a break-even point about seven months. Afterwards, the city would stand to turn profit.

32:54🔗 Drew Wow, interesting.

32:55🔗 Adam Now, we heard about this, I do believe, but I can't remember if it feels German.

33:00🔗 Drew It feels German, but you got to think there's got to be a big poo-poo problem.

33:04🔗 Adam In Germany or Florida?

33:06🔗 Drew Wherever this province is, wherever this town is.

33:09🔗 Adam I see, I see, yeah.

33:10🔗 Drew And let's think, let's reason about this.

33:11🔗 Adam Germans have bigger dogs.

33:13🔗 Drew Less space, more cement.

33:15🔗 Caller Drew, you work way too much, man.

33:17🔗 Adam I know, it just comes down to-

33:19🔗 Caller We had this exact same discussion like two, three months ago.

33:22🔗 Drew About the same question?

33:23🔗 Caller Yeah, you guys went down the same road too, I think.

33:25🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, I didn't go down, the only road I've been down is, I think we've heard this one before, which I didn't go down before because it was the first time we heard it. Yeah. Now, Drew's really up in his head.

33:36🔗 Drew I don't think I was here.

33:37🔗 Adam Well, Drew has a steel trap for mine. So if Drew says he didn't hear it, it just meant you're on the road or something. Yeah. All right. Well, keep going down your road.

33:46🔗 Drew So I would think less free space. They had lots of water in Germany to make a problem. Yeah.

33:51🔗 Adam In Germany.

33:52🔗 Drew In Germany, let more cement, more pooping a problem. I think so. As opposed to Florida.

33:58🔗 Adam Well, I don't know. Are you in Stuttgart or are you in months?

34:01🔗 Drew Well, 12,500 dogs.

34:03🔗 Adam Hold on. That was powerful.

34:05🔗 Drew Mine's in Stuttgart. That's nice.

34:06🔗 Adam Two cities and they're both different. I didn't say Stuttgart or Stuttgart.

34:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:12🔗 Drew At least one of the cars are made of one.

34:13🔗 Adam One of them is made in an industrial area and the other one's a little more rural.

34:17🔗 Drew No, I understand. But 12,500 dogs. Not that big a city, I would imagine. Maybe 100,000 people.

34:22🔗 Adam Okay. Just keep going.

34:24🔗 Drew 100,000 people.

34:25🔗 Adam You've been wrong every time with this whole build up.

34:27🔗 Drew I'll say Germany.

34:28🔗 Adam You're going Germany?

34:29🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

34:30🔗 Adam All right, Jaimeson.

34:32🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, it sounds pretty German to me. I mean, this is one of the harder ones, I think.

34:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, when you're in the studio, they're hard when you're just home masturbating in the shower. Whatever you do when you listen to the program, they're not so difficult when you have to actually get in the hot seat and play Germany or Florida for real, for the stakes. I think it's tough. So what do you think, Jaimeson?

34:54🔗 Jaimeson Jones I'm still saying Germany.

34:56🔗 Adam Germany.

34:57🔗 Jaimeson Jones Not that I have faith in Drew, it's just his own opinion. I personally think it's Germany.

35:00🔗 Drew A lot of water in Florida could seep into the system and become a problem.

35:03🔗 Adam I'm going Florida. I go Florida.

35:06🔗 Jaimeson Jones Make it interesting.

35:06🔗 Adam Yeah, make it interesting. Josh, is it Germany or Florida?

35:10🔗 It is Dresden, Germany.

35:11🔗 Caller Oh, s**t.

35:12🔗 Adam It's back.

35:13🔗 Drew I'm back.

35:14🔗 Adam He was on the brink of suicide. This is just what he needed.

35:18🔗 Drew Vindication. Thank you, Jaimeson. I feel supported.

35:20🔗 Adam Yeah. This is, it really reminds me of the time when you're on that dry spell in a third year medical school. You nailed that fat check. Just something to bring you back, something to get that confidence back. You know what I mean? Back on track. That was like you're in a slump and you basically beat out a fielder's choice, but still you got to hit.

35:42🔗 Drew It's going the right direction.

35:43🔗 Adam You're going the right direction. Let's just choke up and make contact. All right. No, no. This is too sensitive a question with young Jaimeson here. All exes complain that wants sex.

35:56🔗 Jaimeson Jones I don't mind.

35:57🔗 Adam You don't mind? All right.

35:58🔗 Drew There's a hydrosil question which is about a testicular cell.

36:00🔗 Adam Jeremy? Yeah. All right. Let's talk to Jeremy. Jeremy?

36:06🔗 Yeah.

36:06🔗 Adam You're 20?

36:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:08🔗 Adam What's up?

36:10🔗 What's going on?

36:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

36:13🔗 Yeah.

36:14🔗 Caller Just glad to be on the show here. First time. First time caller here.

36:18🔗 Adam Thank you.

36:18🔗 Just do it.

36:19🔗 Drew Here we go.

36:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:23🔗 Adam Hold on a second.

36:24🔗 Drew You're just going to tell us the story.

36:25🔗 Yeah.

36:25🔗 Adam It took too long and I start thinking about something else today.

36:29🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:30🔗 Adam All right. You know how I was going to make my mark in life with changing Marco Polo to Adam Corolla?

36:36🔗 Yeah.

36:36🔗 Adam The pool game.

36:37🔗 Drew New plan?

36:37🔗 Adam New plan. Kim will help me out this weekend. I got the recycling chute. I build a house and I put a recycling chute in it because I like to recycle, but all the beer bottles and wine bottles and beer bottles and wine bottles. I don't really take anything else in a container, but all these things they pile up on the countertop and then once a week, I bundle them all up and drag them out to recycle. So I built a recycling chute. Boom, they all go down the recycling chute. The new house I'm building for the TLC show is going to have a recycling chute. When Jimmy remodeled his kitchen six months ago, I forced him to put a recycling chute in. He's nuts about it.

37:18🔗 Caller Oh.

37:19🔗 Adam He'll throw a bottle in it, run around, grab the bottle, run around, throw it again like a retarded kid.

37:22🔗 Drew So we call it the Corolla chute?

37:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:24🔗 Adam Recycl-A-Rolla.

37:26🔗 Drew No, no, no. You'll never get lost immediately.

37:29🔗 Adam Really? Because Jimmy came up with Recycl-A-Rolla. He thought it was powerful.

37:34🔗 Drew Recycl-A-Rolla.

37:35🔗 Adam I thought it was strong.

37:36🔗 Drew It's strong, but I'm afraid it won't be attached to you.

37:39🔗 Adam By the year 2010, every new house built will have the Recycl-A-Rolla in it.

37:44🔗 Drew Yeah, but by 2007, you will not be attached to it anymore.

37:48🔗 Adam But it could be like Jacuzzi.

37:49🔗 Drew Oh. We'll just call it the Corolla then. Corolla chute.

37:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:54🔗 Adam I don't know. It sounds gay. We got to work it out.

37:57🔗 Drew We do have to work it out.

37:58🔗 Adam The point is, is you want people to recycle? Put one of those chutes in their house. The kids will be lining up to throw those Pepsi cans down that thing.

38:07🔗 Drew You're right.

38:07🔗 Caller I'd do that.

38:07🔗 Adam Make it a little bit fun. You immediately do it. Otherwise, you just get lazy, start chucking it in the trash can with the other stuff.

38:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:14🔗 Drew I'm going to come up with something with this.

38:15🔗 Adam Drew, you could put a recycling chute in your house.

38:18🔗 Drew Can I?

38:19🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, not you. You're lame, but you could have a Mexican do it.

38:22🔗 Drew I'd love to do that.

38:22🔗 Adam Yeah, it'd be awesome.

38:24🔗 Drew Boom.

38:24🔗 Adam Pow. Pow. Done. Earth saved. Next. Next planet. Who's next?

38:31🔗 Drew Is it a door?

38:32🔗 Adam Well, we got to pull a flap on it, but it's just nothing. All you need is three inches.

38:38🔗 Drew Corolla chute.

38:39🔗 Adam Just work on it. All right. You want to talk to Jeremy? Well, now we got to take a break.

38:44🔗 Drew It doesn't matter.

38:44🔗 Adam Jeremy?

38:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:46🔗 Adam You're 20?

38:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:48🔗 Adam What's up?

38:50🔗 Caller I went to the doctor about three or four years ago, so I found some lumps on my testicles while I was taking a shower. And he told me it was a hydrosil. I got it sonogrammed and everything, and he didn't really tell me much about it or anything.

39:05🔗 Drew Well, hydrosil is just normal cysts that develop in the test. Hydro just means water. They're usually varicoseals, blood, or spermatosil, sperm, and they're just these cyst, fluid-filled little knots that develop in the test.

39:16🔗 Adam Varica is blood.

39:17🔗 Drew Yeah, varicoblood, sperm.

39:18🔗 Adam Like varicose veins?

39:19🔗 Drew Like varicose veins. But interesting question, Jaimeson, about the testicular self-examination. I bet you have some feelings about that. Do you think we should be advocating more? Yeah.

39:29🔗 Adam No, he thinks we should talk about it less.

39:31🔗 Drew Right. Did you discover it yourself? Is that how you found your tumor?

39:35🔗 Jaimeson Jones I just found it by it being painful.

39:38🔗 Drew So that was hurt.

39:39🔗 Jaimeson Jones So, you know.

39:40🔗 Drew And you'd gone in earlier, and they told you you had a hydrosil too, or varicoseal.

39:45🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

39:45🔗 Adam And they were incorrect?

39:47🔗 Jaimeson Jones No, I think it was both. I'm not sure.

39:50🔗 Drew Was it hurting at that time when you first went in?

39:52🔗 Jaimeson Jones No, but from then on, I just assumed it was varicoseal.

39:56🔗 Drew Did you find it? That's why you first went in? Or did somebody else find it?

40:00🔗 Jaimeson Jones Actually, I went in because, you know, for some reason, my mom thought something was wrong with me because I'd go to the bathroom so often. She thought, you know.

40:08🔗 Drew Your name frequently?

40:10🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, and you know, they had me do a whole thing with, you know, I had to measure, you know, everything.

40:14🔗 Drew Thought you had diabetes.

40:15🔗 Jaimeson Jones I had to eat and measure everything I drank. At the end of that, they said, this doesn't really tell us anything.

40:20🔗 Drew Yeah, right.

40:21🔗 Jaimeson Jones I had to do that for a month. But so, and they didn't really do anything about the varicoseal, so I just went on assuming that's what it was.

40:29🔗 Adam So what should Jeremy do or should Jeremy do anything?

40:32🔗 Drew Follow up, make sure somebody feels the testes every year to make sure that's in fact what it is. And tumors feel a lot different than the varicoseal, Jeremy. The tumors feel like little pebbles or rocks typically in the testes, and the varicoseal feels like a little bubble. Firm bubble.

40:52🔗 Adam Maybe a lot of teenage boys and young men are a little bit freaked out about some dude handling their nads.

40:58🔗 Drew Yeah, but they get used to athletics and stuff, checking for hernias.

41:02🔗 Adam Yeah, I used to get that physical once a year and I always hated it.

41:06🔗 Drew Anyway, everyone likes it.

41:08🔗 Adam Well, I mean, the turn your head and cough part.

41:11🔗 Drew Yeah, but maybe they had a big poster about licking testicular cancer. I bet that would persuade them to feel more comfortable with it.

41:19🔗 Adam Yeah, I would use a gecko lizard as a...

41:21🔗 Drew Yes.

41:22🔗 Adam Because they got those long tongues.

41:23🔗 Drew Yes, that would be the mascot.

41:26🔗 Adam Yeah, interesting. All right, let's work on...

41:29🔗 Drew Well, that's much better than Corolla-Roma or whatever the hell that shoot was.

41:32🔗 Adam Recycl-A-Rolla. Jimmy thought it was a nine. I thought it was good, too.

41:37🔗 Drew All right, we'll keep talking.

41:38🔗 Adam All right, let's get the... I'm telling you, we get that recycling. Why doesn't every house have that tube, that shoot, pow? Yeah, yeah, I'll talk to you more about during the break. Jaimeson Jones is here tonight. He is here via the Make A Wish Foundation. He is surviving testicular cancer and is here to talk about it. And this is part of his Make A Wish Foundation. Well, I think this is it.

42:04🔗 Jaimeson Jones This is it? Pretty much, yeah.

42:06🔗 Drew Pretty much. Yeah, Adam, you got to heat it up a little bit.

42:11🔗 Adam I like the Make A Wish Foundation stuff, but I don't like it... I think, I don't know what the funding is. I don't know what you turned down. I don't know what's considered a tall order. I mean, like, obviously, you want to go to Disneyland, you get to go to Disneyland. You want to go to space, you don't get to go to space.

42:28🔗 Drew But you hear about these kids, you know, going after hunting Kodiak bears and stuff.

42:32🔗 Adam Yeah, I like that. I like when the tree huggers get their nads out of joint on that.

42:37🔗 Caller Who's killing a bear?

42:39🔗 Adam Shut up, idiots. Everyone makes me sick. We'll take, except for us... Yeah, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Keep things up with new Durex warming condoms. There's sex, and then there's Durex. Groove, phone number 1-800-LLV. Jaimeson Jones is here tonight. Jaimeson Jones is not only Spider-Man's editor, but he is a survivor of testicular cancer. He's 15 years of age. The Make A Wish Foundation sent him out here because we're not sure why, but he's a fan of the show, and this is where he wanted to go, and God bless him. He's here tonight. Now, we only got a couple of minutes. It's an easy one. How do I talk to this one? Suzanne?

44:02🔗 Caller Uh-huh. Yes.

44:05🔗 Adam Your question is? Yes.

44:07🔗 Caller Well, first off, I would just like to say that a lot of people call in and say that you're hot, Adam, which I think that you're like a very funny man, which is definitely appealing. But of the two of you, I think that Drew is definitely the hottest.

44:27🔗 Drew See, it's nice, right?

44:28🔗 Adam I've never heard that before.

44:30🔗 Drew I know. Finally, we get one.

44:32🔗 Adam Hold on. A lot of people call in.

44:34🔗 Drew Well, a lot of people are in love with you. See, it's as if he translates that into, you get that, Adam, I love you.

44:41🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got a 14-year-old guy, and he says, you make God. Yeah, that's a lot of people. I'm not. All right.

44:51🔗 Drew Suzanne, thank you. Thank you for coming to my aid.

44:55🔗 Caller You're welcome. But, Michael-

44:59🔗 Drew Hey, come on. I have two minutes here. Go ahead. Here goes, Suzanne.

45:04🔗 Caller Okay. I have absolutely ginormous areolas. They are so disgusting. I was just wondering if they have-

45:15🔗 Drew Well, now hang on here.

45:17🔗 Adam One man's trash is another man's treasure.

45:19🔗 Drew Indeed. Speaking of trash, the man you just trashed feels- I don't know.

45:24🔗 Caller It's off now.

45:26🔗 Adam I like big areola. It's just not yours.

45:29🔗 Caller I don't trash Adam. I think Adam is great. Absolutely hilarious.

45:34🔗 Drew All right.

45:34🔗 Adam Let's keep going.

45:35🔗 Drew He's enticed by your dimensions.

45:37🔗 Adam Are you a big gal?

45:39🔗 Caller No. No, not at all.

45:41🔗 Drew What are your dimensions?

45:44🔗 Caller Well, like my measurements, my breasts are like 41 inches across the fullest part, but my rib cage is 30 inches.

45:57🔗 Adam Well, what size bra do you wear?

45:59🔗 Caller See, that's the thing. I buy 36 or 38 double D and then I grab up of the strap and just so big loops in it so it will fit my rib cage.

46:18🔗 Drew How much do you weigh?

46:19🔗 Adam So big loops in it.

46:20🔗 Caller A 125 pounds. Basically, I so-

46:26🔗 Adam Oh, I see you cinch it up.

46:27🔗 Drew Right.

46:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:28🔗 Adam Yeah. Now we're-

46:31🔗 Drew Adam.

46:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:33🔗 Adam How tall?

46:33🔗 Caller Probably, I'm 5'6.

46:36🔗 Adam Oh, it's a nice comma. So you have large breasts, but your nipples are in- Proportion. Your areolas are in proportion with your breasts almost.

46:45🔗 Caller No, I don't think so.

46:48🔗 Drew All right. Hold on. We got to take this break. We can come back to Suzanne, okay?

46:52🔗 Adam Yes, we can.

46:53🔗 Drew Hold on, Suzanne.

46:54🔗 Adam Hang on a second. Jaimeson Jones here tonight from the Make-A-Wish, via the Make-A-Wish Foundation. We'll take a quick break. We'll get back with Suzanne, her love of Drew and her hatred of our own areolas after this.

47:09🔗 Caller Alright, guys, here's the deal. You looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person? One call is all you need to make.

47:15🔗 Drew Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

47:19🔗 Call the Dateline.

48:05🔗 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

48:08🔗 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Jaimeson Jones, the great naturalist, photographer, philanthropist, and outdoorsman.

48:25🔗 Drew R-D-D-D-S-M-D-J-D, all of that.

48:26🔗 P-I.

48:28🔗 Adam P-I. Jaimeson's looking for you. Time to hide. Yeah, I was like, you can run, but you can't hide. There's a few cliches that are just crappy.

48:39🔗 Drew A few.

48:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

48:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:42🔗 Adam I think if you could run, you could hide, he could find you. It should be, you can run and you could hide, but he'll find you. It's not, you can run, but you can't hide. You could hide, you just run and you take a trash can, turn over and eventually he catches you.

48:59🔗 Drew You can't stay hidden.

49:01🔗 Adam Can't stay hidden. You can run and you can hide, but you can't stay hidden from Jaimeson Jones.

49:11🔗 Jaimeson Jones I don't know, I wasn't going to get it high and go safe when I was younger.

49:14🔗 Drew You couldn't find guys?

49:16🔗 Adam Well, you're going to have to learn.

49:17🔗 Jaimeson Jones Well, I played with my little sister.

49:19🔗 Adam If you're going to be the best PI in America, you're going to have to learn to find people.

49:25🔗 Drew Donettian Jones.

49:26🔗 Adam Donettian Jones. Coming to fall. That's my favorite part of television now, is all the soon to be failed shows that are coming on.

49:36🔗 Drew Do you remember when the family guy came back on the air, what they did?

49:39🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:39🔗 Drew He listed all the shows. He goes, basically, Peter comes up to Lois and says, well, we're back on the air. We'll have a chance to get back on the air if everything else fails. I mean, he goes ahead to list all the shows that have failed between when they were canceled and when they reemerged. There was 45 shows.

49:58🔗 Adam No, I'm just sitting around and it's like family practice. They're all doctors in this fam is literally one coming up on like CBS.

50:08🔗 Drew Seriously?

50:09🔗 Adam Yeah. It's like prescription for laughs or something. It's a family of doctors, but they're all out of work. You just smell trouble coming.

50:19🔗 Drew Oh my God.

50:19🔗 Adam You just know it. Yeah.

50:21🔗 Drew Oh my God.

50:22🔗 Adam Oh yes. All right. Let's get back to the huge area on this place. Yes. Suzanne?

50:28🔗 Caller Yeah. It's 2 in the morning in Kentucky.

50:32🔗 Adam Yeah. Do you have, and it's like 1961, so she's way behind.

50:38🔗 Caller No. It's the 80s.

50:40🔗 Adam Oh, it's the 80s. Sorry.

50:41🔗 Caller Everybody's still quite rolling their pants.

50:44🔗 Adam Yeah. It looks like a Dexys Midnight Runner.

50:48🔗 Drew Yeah. Did you see the music awards tonight?

50:50🔗 Adam No, I didn't. Don't digress. You know how I hate that. Suzanne, so your dimensions are you've got 5'6, 125, 125, double D cans, four and cherry olives. All right. Do you have a boyfriend?

51:06🔗 Caller No.

51:07🔗 Adam No.

51:07🔗 I'm divorced.

51:08🔗 Drew You're divorced?

51:09🔗 Caller I'm actually practicing abstinence for you and I have now.

51:13🔗 Drew What happened to your marriage?

51:17🔗 Caller Basically, he would drive around my work and to make sure I wasn't up on the countertop doing everybody that came in.

51:27🔗 Drew What kind of work do you do?

51:28🔗 Caller Hold on.

51:29🔗 Adam I'm just going to go on a limb and say it's a bad sign when people can just drive around your work and see you. That means you're working a cash register.

51:38🔗 Drew And when your work includes a countertop.

51:40🔗 Adam Yeah.

51:41🔗 Drew Countertop was a little bit of a tip-off there.

51:43🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

51:46🔗 Drew It's a desk countertop.

51:48🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm trying to think of what's, what's worse than if your work involves a walk-in freezer might be worse than a countertop, but marginally.

51:58🔗 Drew I imagine a hopper painting.

52:00🔗 Adam Okay. Let's keep talking. Suzanne.

52:03🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

52:04🔗 Adam Where, where did you work?

52:06🔗 Caller Um, I was working at Arby's. But I was young.

52:13🔗 Adam But thanks for painting that joke off, by the way.

52:15🔗 Caller I had just been gone to junior college, and after only 18 months, I graduated and now I am a cake decorator.

52:27🔗 Caller A cake decorator.

52:29🔗 Caller Yeah. And I make little desserts and stuff, so.

52:33🔗 Drew Okay.

52:34🔗 Adam Did you learn that trade in junior college?

52:37🔗 Caller No. I've been doing it since I was really young, but.

52:41🔗 Adam Okay.

52:42🔗 Drew So you make, like, wedding cakes and things?

52:44🔗 Caller Yes.

52:45🔗 Drew Wedding, that's a tough job.

52:46🔗 Adam Well, you didn't, you didn't, you didn't need to go to junior college then, right?

52:50🔗 Caller No, no I didn't. But people in Kentucky are impressed by the junior college degree.

52:56🔗 Drew Oh, see?

52:56🔗 Adam See? It's very relative. All right, so big areolas, nothing you can do about it.

53:02🔗 Drew No, well there is. I mean, you can have a reduction. They will reduce that as part of the deal. There certainly are procedures for that.

53:08🔗 Adam Well, you want to have a breast reduction?

53:12🔗 Caller I have been thinking about it. I kind of like having great big boobs, you know? I get a lot of attention.

53:19🔗 Adam Yeah, I'll bet.

53:20🔗 Caller But at the same time, I have a lot of back pain.

53:24🔗 Adam Do you have any kids?

53:26🔗 Caller I actually have five-year-old twins and an 18-month-old.

53:30🔗 Adam Shocker.

53:31🔗 Caller I am kind of saggy because I nursed all of them.

53:36🔗 Drew So they could.

53:37🔗 Caller For nine months.

53:38🔗 Drew They can fix all that with the plastic procedure.

53:41🔗 Adam Where's dad who used to circle the Arby's? By the way, maybe he was just driving through. Did you have a drive-through? He was hungry. He could have been hungry.

53:49🔗 Caller Yeah. No, he'd come in every now and then and glare at every male employee.

53:56🔗 Drew Why was he so jealous or why was he so, having such a pathological low self-esteem? Really?

54:01🔗 Caller Low self-esteem. His dad's a truck driver and his mother is insane. Never had a driver's license. He's the baby. He just turned 30 and he's got a sister that's like 48.

54:17🔗 Adam All right. Well, listen, Kentucky doesn't disappoint. What's he doing to support these kids?

54:23🔗 Caller Right now, he owes two months of child support.

54:26🔗 Adam All right.

54:27🔗 Drew I like the way she defends him with the right now.

54:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

54:30🔗 Drew Just as way he would answer it.

54:31🔗 Adam And did you have to crap out, I know one was a set of twins, but three kids with this loser?

54:40🔗 Caller Well, the two are with him. The twins are with him, but I actually was on the rebound, really lonely, and got with an even bigger loser. Had a baby, another baby on Tuesday.

54:55🔗 Drew With somebody else?

54:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

54:57🔗 Drew All right. Suzanne, here's the deal. So you go from hypersexual to shut down.

55:01🔗 Adam All right.

55:02🔗 Drew Neither are great ways to go through life.

55:04🔗 Adam Quit focusing on your boobs and start focusing on your life.

55:07🔗 Drew She is. She's done making cakes now.

55:09🔗 Adam All right. All right. All right. But this guy, this hillbilly loser has the twins. I would like to do with Kentucky, I would like to tent it off.

55:21🔗 Drew Like a fumigator?

55:22🔗 Adam Yeah. I just realized.

55:24🔗 Drew Blue and red striped tent?

55:26🔗 Adam I would do that with, yeah, I would do that with Riverside. I would do it with Bakersfield. I would just tent the whole place.

55:34🔗 Drew That's the only state you'd actually tent.

55:37🔗 Adam Yeah, I'd probably, I wouldn't, I would time it so it wasn't with the Kentucky Derby, because I feel like there's some smart people that fly in for that. I hate to get them caught on the wrong side of the tent. You know what I'm saying? But there are cities I would tent, and then states I would tent as well.

55:53🔗 Drew Okay.

55:53🔗 Adam Be awesome. Drew, think how much, of course, when you spray a field, a couple of good insects get it too, but overall, it's a positive. All right. You know what I'm saying?

56:04🔗 Drew I hear you.

56:05🔗 Adam It's the way I would feel about tenting Kentucky. Do you know what I mean?

56:08🔗 Drew Do you like Adam Jaimeson?

56:09🔗 Adam It's a couple of good people would go down, but overall, the world would be a better place.

56:14🔗 Drew Two hours is a little different than tuning in and out once in a while.

56:18🔗 Adam Faith?

56:19🔗 Yeah.

56:20🔗 Adam You're 17?

56:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:22🔗 Adam What's up?

56:23🔗 Caller I'm just calling to say hey to Jaimeson and both of you guys, you guys are awesome, but I was going to ask Jaimeson how long it took him to get his wish because I actually did the Make A Wish thing too.

56:36🔗 Drew What's up with you, Faith? What happened with you?

56:41🔗 Caller I have cystic fibrosis.

56:46🔗 Jaimeson Jones I think I was offered in February of this year.

56:52🔗 Drew Now, what do they, they just, they show up while you're in the hospital, or they?

56:56🔗 Jaimeson Jones I think, like, a social worker from the hospital told us, you know, I could probably, you know, I'd probably qualify for the program, and then, so she would, you know.

57:08🔗 Drew She makes the application.

57:09🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, and then, you know, they say you can do it, and then, you know, I think about what I want.

57:15🔗 Drew Do they send an application out again for a request, or do they send somebody to talk to you, or a phone conversation?

57:22🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, two people came to the house, and, you know.

57:26🔗 Drew And Faith, what happened to you? You said no one showed up? Faith? Oh, she's on a hold. There we go. Faith, what happened with you?

57:33🔗 Caller I said, no, nothing really bad. I mean, they were just, it just, it actually didn't take that long, so I was wondering if everybody was that fast.

57:42🔗 Drew Oh, so you did do it.

57:44🔗 Adam She wanted to see the Grease Man.

57:46🔗 Caller Smuggy, smuggy.

57:47🔗 Drew Wait, I'm confused, man. I thought you said you didn't go as quickly as Jaimeson did.

57:52🔗 Caller No.

57:52🔗 Drew You did?

57:53🔗 Caller I actually did. I went pretty fast.

57:55🔗 Drew What did you do?

57:55🔗 Adam Yeah, what did you want to do?

57:57🔗 Caller I went to Australia.

57:58🔗 Drew Wow.

57:59🔗 Adam Whoa, Jaimeson's pissed. Australia. Wow.

58:04🔗 Drew Nice.

58:05🔗 Adam That is nice. All right. And how does it, let me ask you this. I don't want to bust the chops of Make A Wish, but what if your family can afford it or handle it? You know what I mean? I mean, if your family is well to do and they can afford a coach ticket to Sydney, shouldn't they just pay for it? You know, leave it to the underprivileged kids?

58:26🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah. Well, I think, I don't know, then you just try and find a wish that you wouldn't be able to do otherwise like this, you know.

58:35🔗 Adam Well, yeah, this is a different situation where you have to contact, you know, us and have us agree to and stuff like that. But certain stuff like if you just want to see Australia, that's a plane ticket in a hotel. If your family can handle it, maybe they should be handling it and the Make A Wish stuff should be going to kids who can't handle it and whose families can't handle it.

58:55🔗 Drew Make A Wish, you want to come in and explain that to us?

58:57🔗 Adam No.

58:58🔗 Drew Maybe during the break. Yeah.

59:00🔗 Adam Who bought this ticket? Yeah. I'd like to find out. Yeah. Maybe we should get the Make A Wish lady in here and get to the bottom of this.

59:07🔗 Drew Here, she's coming.

59:08🔗 Adam Faith, I'm going to blow the lid off this whole Make A Wish thing, Drew. Faith, anything else?

59:14🔗 Caller No. Just calling to say hey.

59:16🔗 Adam All right. Let her speak in to Jaimeson's mic, Drew. Your mic is your mic. Keep heads up. Yeah. Step on in there. I'm sorry. Give us your name.

59:27🔗 My name is Michelle Edwards.

59:29🔗 Adam You're from here. Get right in on that mic, Michelle.

59:32🔗 Drew How close we are? Yeah.

59:33🔗 Okay.

59:33🔗 Drew There we go.

59:34🔗 Adam Make love to it. So you're from the Make A Wish Foundation, whose chapter is in Washington or are you just from out here? Where are you from?

59:44🔗 I volunteer with the Los Angeles chapter of the Make A Wish Foundation.

59:47🔗 Adam I see. So when Jaimeson came out here, you met him out here? And so how does it work? What are the requirements? I mean, what if there's a sick child from a very wealthy family?

1:00:00🔗 Drew Would they still be eligible?

1:00:01🔗 Yes. The Make A Wish Foundation focuses on the child's illness, not the status of the family.

1:00:06🔗 Drew So there's no criteria of that sort or you wouldn't try to dissuade that child from it?

1:00:12🔗 Adam I would run it like I'm gonna run my bookstore, by the way. Listen, Richie Rich, get Daddy Warbucks to buy your ticket to the, now if it's...

1:00:19🔗 Drew But it's something the child can't buy, maybe like getting this radio show.

1:00:22🔗 Adam Drew, is someone with your mic or is that... Something is...

1:00:25🔗 Drew I don't have my headphones on.

1:00:26🔗 Adam Oh, and maybe that's it. All right, yeah, go ahead, sorry.

1:00:29🔗 We actually try to let the children make the decision about what wish they get and leave the parents out of it as much as possible.

1:00:36🔗 Adam Right, all right. So see, my whole thing is if you want to see Loveline, then we'll you guys handle that or make the phone call and we'll be happy to do it. But let's just say you just want to go to Disneyland. If your parents are rich, let them do it. I'd work.

1:00:52🔗 Drew But they could arrange the backstage path.

1:00:54🔗 Adam I know, you work that stuff. But what's her name? Faith going to Sydney for parents are rich, they should pay for it. That's all I'm saying. Trying to save you guys a few bucks, then you have money for more of this stuff. You get your money from donations, obviously?

1:01:11🔗 We have a wine tasting and auction, which is the largest fundraiser for the year for the LA chapter, and various donations and fundraising events throughout the year.

1:01:21🔗 Adam When is that, by the way? You can give a plug for that.

1:01:24🔗 The wine tasting and auction is usually about the middle of March, between 15th and 17th.

1:01:29🔗 Adam And where does that go down?

1:01:31🔗 Barker Hanger in Santa Monica Airport. Nice.

1:01:33🔗 Drew Whatever invites us. You'll be happy to go.

1:01:35🔗 Adam Yeah. Booze and airplanes, by the way.

1:01:37🔗 Drew For you.

1:01:38🔗 Adam Awesome combo.

1:01:39🔗 Drew That's your two favorite things.

1:01:40🔗 Adam Just loaded, pointing at old stuff from World War II.

1:01:42🔗 Caller That's a hellcat. They call it the flying coffin. Where you going, baby? You know how many Americans? That thing was a tail hooker, baby. I launched that baby off the Nimitz. Tell you what, right now, a lot of good men went down. They're breaking the tears.

1:02:00🔗 No radar.

1:02:02🔗 Caller No radar.

1:02:03🔗 Drew Lights out.

1:02:03🔗 Caller They flew him on the seat of their pants. Yeah.

1:02:06🔗 Drew No lights.

1:02:07🔗 Caller Yeah. No lights until after laying that thing. You know what it's like when that thing's on the North Sea, it's a 30-foot swell, so that thing's got to come down. Shot to hell. Shot down the jet, shot it out.

1:02:17🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, that's me just going out.

1:02:19🔗 Drew That's you at home.

1:02:20🔗 Adam No, that's me just going out for a fast food with my wife. Why do I get to the hangar and the booze starts flowing? Yeah, we'd like to go to that. I'm great with wine. I'm great with planes. Drew's good with cancer.

1:02:33🔗 Caller There you go.

1:02:35🔗 Adam We're covered. Give you a couple of bucks, put it in the kitty.

1:02:38🔗 Well, I'll definitely let them know you want to go.

1:02:40🔗 Adam How many, does the Make A Wish Foundation, you're with the Los Angeles chapter, but I'm sure there are chapters everywhere, most everywhere.

1:02:49🔗 There are, I'm not sure of the statistics, there are a number of chapters in the United States and a handful international.

1:02:56🔗 Adam Wow. It's a very worthy cause, and you guys are doing the Lord's work. All right, now give Drew his headphones back and leave. I would only help poor kids. That would be my thing. You would? I would. My policy would be I would help facilitate things that didn't involve money or travel, but if they involve money and travel, and your folks can handle it, let them send you. God knows where.

1:03:22🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:23🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:03:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:25🔗 Caller This is P-51 Mustang, best war burn ever. What do you mean? You don't tell me to quiet down. Hog.

1:03:33🔗 Drew I told you to hog.

1:03:35🔗 Caller You're not hogging.

1:03:38🔗 Drew Yeah, it's a radio show.

1:03:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:39🔗 Drew What are you talking about?

1:03:40🔗 Caller This is B-29 Flying Fortress, okay? You know how cold it was in there? Flying coffin.

1:03:51🔗 Drew Tierney.

1:03:51🔗 Caller Tierney?

1:03:53🔗 Drew 19.

1:03:53🔗 Caller What's up? How are you guys doing?

1:03:56🔗 Adam What's up?

1:03:58🔗 Caller I'm literally about 10 hours away from hopping in a U-Haul and driving to San Francisco to begin my life as a college student.

1:04:06🔗 Drew Where are you going?

1:04:07🔗 Caller I'm going to California College of the Arts.

1:04:10🔗 Drew In Oakland. Okay.

1:04:11🔗 Adam All right. What do you learn there?

1:04:15🔗 Caller How to be pretentious art student.

1:04:17🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, first thing you do is how to hate the man. Then you just learn. Well, what do you want to do? You want to do graphic design or something?

1:04:26🔗 Drew No.

1:04:28🔗 Caller I've decided actually, I'm going to become an avant-garde because they make so much more money than real artists do.

1:04:34🔗 Drew Avant-garde? What does that mean?

1:04:37🔗 Adam Is that like an artist with avant-garde? How does that work? No.

1:04:42🔗 Caller I want to be like Andy Warhol basically. I'm going to do my own art on the side, but I basically want to be able to draw on a napkin and sell it for $20,000, hang around.

1:04:51🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:04:52🔗 Drew That's Adam's plan too.

1:04:53🔗 Adam I'd like to wipe with a napkin and sell it for 40 grand.

1:04:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:04:57🔗 Adam But look, would you tell us what you- Look, I'm not asking for like fantasy answer.

1:05:02🔗 Drew What are you training in?

1:05:02🔗 Adam What are you training in?

1:05:04🔗 Caller What am I? I am double majoring in film and illustration.

1:05:08🔗 Drew Okay.

1:05:08🔗 Adam All right. Well, there you go. Okay.

1:05:11🔗 Drew All right.

1:05:11🔗 Adam So you're going up north to do that. And the question is what?

1:05:16🔗 Caller I've been going out with the same guy for two years now. As of last Saturday, we're doing really well, but it's 500 miles away and I'm just not sure if I want to do long distance or not.

1:05:29🔗 Drew Good. Don't. We'll make it easy for you.

1:05:31🔗 Adam Yeah. It's over.

1:05:32🔗 Drew It's supposed to end. High school relationships are not supposed to go on forever. You're moving away. Is he staying down here? Yeah. He is. He's a musician. He's got it. You're not sure what you want to do. You're not committed to this thing. It's your chance to really sort of get a sense of yourself in a new environment, explore. Don't relinquish that for a relationship. It's probably not going to last no matter how you cling to it.

1:05:55🔗 Adam You're going to fall for some pretentious nerd up there. He's got a bad mustache and goatee and hates command.

1:06:03🔗 Drew He's got tiny mustaches.

1:06:04🔗 Adam Stay away from the pencil, then. Mustache.

1:06:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:08🔗 Caller All right. I will.

1:06:09🔗 Adam All right.

1:06:10🔗 Caller Good times.

1:06:11🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:06:11🔗 Adam All right.

1:06:13🔗 Drew What do you want to do? You have an idea yet?

1:06:15🔗 Adam Yeah, Jaimeson. Besides the detective work.

1:06:18🔗 Drew Other than what Adam has decided you're going to do, what would you like to do?

1:06:21🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, I know. Something like an architect or something like that. I'm good at math and you know.

1:06:27🔗 Drew So building.

1:06:28🔗 Jaimeson Jones Trig and stuff like that.

1:06:30🔗 Adam What was that? He said trig?

1:06:32🔗 Drew His brother-in-law is an architect.

1:06:34🔗 Adam I could set you up.

1:06:36🔗 Jaimeson Jones Really?

1:06:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:06:37🔗 Drew He's an avant-garde-ist architect.

1:06:39🔗 Adam Yeah. So you want to be one of the designs, you want to do like commercial or residential buildings?

1:06:47🔗 Jaimeson Jones I don't have to say.

1:06:47🔗 Adam How about a damn?

1:06:49🔗 Drew A question.

1:06:50🔗 Adam How about a damn?

1:06:51🔗 Drew How many times has that word been spoken between you and me?

1:06:54🔗 Adam Avant-garde?

1:06:56🔗 Drew Never.

1:06:57🔗 Adam Never. Except for on this piece of paper that's sitting in front of me. She said avant-garde-ist, which is something I've never heard either. Never heard of it. Yeah.

1:07:05🔗 Drew That's the great magnet.

1:07:06🔗 Adam The great magnet. All right. So you want to be an architect?

1:07:10🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

1:07:10🔗 Adam Good. What do you want to make? What do you want to do? Hotels?

1:07:15🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

1:07:16🔗 Adam All right.

1:07:16🔗 Jaimeson Jones I want to do big buildings, big buildings, not just like houses and stuff.

1:07:19🔗 Adam Yeah. Commercial. No, I know. Nobody's in the 10th-grade. I want to be an architect. What do you want to do? Garage conversions. You can make them. You should add a couple of hundred square feet of living space on.

1:07:31🔗 Drew I want to deal with the city.

1:07:33🔗 Adam Steal with the city.

1:07:34🔗 Jaimeson Jones I'll probably end up starting out with something like that, but work my way up.

1:07:39🔗 Adam Okay. Well, let's take ourselves a little breakthrough.

1:07:42🔗 Drew All right.

1:07:43🔗 Caller The P-40 Hellcat. Easy on the eyes, but tough on German tanks. Call it the Tankbuster. 30 millimeter cannon spent uranium. Yeah. Have fun, Fritz. A lot of good men.

1:07:59🔗 Adam Crying. Yeah. I got to get down to the museum. Boy, am I drunk. We're going to take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:08:09🔗 Caller Loveline, be right back in a minute.

1:08:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:08:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:45🔗 Adam Get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on, mandate to get it on. Yeah. Gentlemen, today's mission, get it on.

1:08:57🔗 Drew Later in the week, Andy Melanakis. My kids and all their friends will be here that night.

1:09:03🔗 Adam Everyone loves Melanakis. Yeah. And that's our show too, baby. I had nothing to do with it, but it's got my name on it.

1:09:10🔗 Drew Well, it made you angry, I heard, because you thought you had all the talent, and it turns out Melanakis has all the talent.

1:09:15🔗 Adam Smell of Smokus has all the talent. So Andy is from the hit series, the Andy Melanakis Show on MTV. Going to be in here in just a couple of days. Wednesday? All right. Jaimeson Jones, famous spearfisherman in tonight. Jaimeson is here via the Make A Wish Foundation, and 15 years age, lives in Brothel, Washington.

1:09:46🔗 Drew Brothel.

1:09:46🔗 Adam Brothel, Washington. Close. Brothel.

1:09:49🔗 Drew Brothel, Brothel.

1:09:51🔗 Adam What kind of name is it? Brothel is like something, it sounds like you're drunk or holding your tongue when you're saying it.

1:09:55🔗 Drew Some old guy from the 1870s.

1:09:57🔗 Adam Well, then is there anyone else who did anything back then in Washington? Who's Brothel?

1:10:02🔗 Jaimeson Jones I have no clue.

1:10:03🔗 Drew Dr. Brothel?

1:10:04🔗 Adam Listen, you know, I'm a simple man. I come from North Hollywood. It's like, where are you? What's your town? Well, there's Hollywood, yeah? Then there's the city that's north of Hollywood. We call it North Hollywood.

1:10:18🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:10:18🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:10:19🔗 Drew So would you want them to call this North Seattle? They could.

1:10:22🔗 Adam I'm just saying, if the guy who founded the town is named Lipp Schultz, keep moving.

1:10:28🔗 Drew Call it, call it.

1:10:29🔗 Adam Sorry, what's your first name?

1:10:31🔗 Drew Just call it Springfield.

1:10:32🔗 Adam Harry? Yeah, I'm just saying, if you have a crappy sounding name or it's confusing sounding, or everyone's going to mispronounce and call it Bolfol or Bufol or Bafol, just pick something else. That's all. Should be pleasant sounding.

1:10:47🔗 Drew It's pleasant though.

1:10:48🔗 Adam There's a street, where I lived in North High, but there's a street called Clump. Or is it Clamp? Whatever it is, it just sounds like venereal disease. I don't care who the guy was, name something else after it.

1:11:00🔗 Drew All right. There you go.

1:11:01🔗 Adam No streets. Street should sound decent. And pretty. You know what I mean? Yeah.

1:11:07🔗 Drew Magnolia.

1:11:09🔗 Adam Yeah. You want to live on like Springdale, that clump. You know what I mean? Sounds like someone took a crap on your house.

1:11:15🔗 Jaimeson Jones Just say Seattle if you have a problem with that.

1:11:17🔗 Adam I'll say Seattle. I'll say Seattle. Annie.

1:11:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:22🔗 Adam You're 22?

1:11:24🔗 Caller Yep.

1:11:25🔗 Jaimeson Jones What's up?

1:11:26🔗 Caller I have been spotting after sex for like maybe four or five months now. And I've been to the gynecologist. They ran all the STD tests, all the infection tests.

1:11:37🔗 Everything's normal.

1:11:38🔗 Drew Are you on birth control pill?

1:11:40🔗 Caller Yeah. They switched the pill on me twice now.

1:11:42🔗 Drew Well, but that's what's doing this. Excuse me? That's what's doing this.

1:11:46🔗 Caller The pill? Well, it started happening while I was taking a pill that I was already on for two years.

1:11:52🔗 Drew It just starts happening when it happens. And it's nothing. Many women spot every time they have sex, whether it's on the pill or not. A lot of women on the pill will start spotting from the pill. Very common. And sometimes it doesn't matter which pill you're on, it keeps going. So there you go.

1:12:09🔗 Caller Is it ever going to stop?

1:12:11🔗 Drew Maybe not. Unless you find the right pill, you can keep switching around, but maybe not.

1:12:17🔗 Adam Well, who should she go talk to a gynecologist?

1:12:19🔗 Drew Why is it so disturbing to you?

1:12:21🔗 Caller Why? It could suck.

1:12:22🔗 Drew It happens all the time.

1:12:24🔗 Adam What if every time you took your underpants off, there's a little duke on it?

1:12:27🔗 Drew It's not a duke, it's a little spotting.

1:12:30🔗 Adam I'm not saying a whole log, I'm saying just a little duke. How fast would that get old?

1:12:34🔗 Drew It's a little different.

1:12:35🔗 Adam It's a little different. No, not for guys. That's all we got.

1:12:38🔗 Drew So Annie, what's the big deal? Although it disturbs Adam, most people aren't that disturbed by this.

1:12:43🔗 Caller I just don't want it to be something more serious.

1:12:47🔗 Drew It's not. It's not. You've been tested for that. It's not. It's an easy thing to rule out for more serious things. That's very easy. And it's a very common symptom. So if you have any questions, go back to your doctor, get checked again. But it's a very common thing. And it rarely means anything serious in your age group.

1:13:04🔗 Adam I got to give a quick movie review.

1:13:06🔗 Drew Uh-oh.

1:13:07🔗 Adam I saw Red Eye tonight.

1:13:08🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:13:09🔗 Caller Sucked.

1:13:10🔗 Drew Yeah, I heard. Blue. Yeah.

1:13:12🔗 Adam Wes Craven.

1:13:13🔗 Caller Retard.

1:13:14🔗 Adam You know how they do a thing where it's like some of these these horror movie guys, they get away with tons of crap like they do one scary movie and then they do 13 ones that blow ass. And then they do another scary one and they get to be the king of fright night or something. Wes Craven wrote this and he directed it and scripts suck. And so the direction and acting just didn't care. Just eight minutes into it could give a rat's ass. Acting was okay, the casting was horrible, and he just didn't care. So don't go see Red Eye.

1:13:47🔗 Drew There you go.

1:13:47🔗 Adam Do not see it. And then went home and turned on Siskel and Ebert, or Roper and Ebert and two big thumbs up.

1:13:55🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:13:56🔗 Adam Yes.

1:13:57🔗 Drew Interesting.

1:13:57🔗 Adam Movie blue ass.

1:14:00🔗 Caller I'm not all that critical. It just sucked.

1:14:01🔗 Adam He just didn't care. It was a stupid premise. It was all stupid on stupid. People doing stuff they would never do.

1:14:08🔗 Caller Right.

1:14:11🔗 Adam Just blue.

1:14:12🔗 Drew Have you seen the 40-year-old version?

1:14:13🔗 Caller No.

1:14:14🔗 Drew I heard that was good.

1:14:15🔗 Jaimeson Jones Oh, that was great.

1:14:15🔗 Drew You saw it?

1:14:15🔗 Jaimeson Jones I wanna see that.

1:14:16🔗 Adam It was funny, huh?

1:14:17🔗 Jaimeson Jones Oh, yeah.

1:14:18🔗 Adam I'm gonna watch that. Yeah, it's red eye. I thought it would be, you know, it's an airplane. It's a suspense, something. Yeah, sucked. Chris?

1:14:26🔗 Hey, what's going on, guys?

1:14:28🔗 Adam 23?

1:14:29🔗 Yes, sir.

1:14:30🔗 Adam What's up?

1:14:31🔗 Oh, well, first of all, you guys are awesome. And second of all, I totally agree with you on red eye. I just saw that two nights ago. Terrible.

1:14:39🔗 Drew Right, Chris?

1:14:41🔗 Adam Yeah, who? Well, here's the thing. Here's what you got to ask yourself in movies. You get you get 20 minutes into it. Do you care? Yeah, right.

1:14:49🔗 Caller And you got to ask yourself, why do these characters care? And there's there was no reason, no logic.

1:14:54🔗 Adam Now I know it just was stupid.

1:14:56🔗 Drew You can go over the top.

1:14:57🔗 Adam Wes Craven's an idiot. I've just I've just decided. And these guys, especially these filmmakers, they get so they do so much crap and they get they still get a reputation and they still make money. They still have a living.

1:15:09🔗 Drew It's becoming like TV.

1:15:10🔗 Adam It really is. It really is. Guys, horribly, everything was horrible about this movie. Don't see it, please. Yeah, go see the 40 year old Virgin or just sit home and stare it at you, sketch. All right.

1:15:24🔗 Caller Anyway, moving on. Yeah, I got a little bit of a random question about nonoxynol 9, the spermicide.

1:15:29🔗 Caller That's how you say it, right?

1:15:30🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:15:31🔗 Caller I noticed that it is also an active ingredient on the back of my hair gel. I thought that was really random and weird.

1:15:36🔗 Drew What's up with that? It is random and weird. I've never heard of that. I'm fascinated. What's the name of the hair gel?

1:15:42🔗 Caller It's just some like store brand dollar mark kind of crap. I don't know.

1:15:46🔗 Adam Isn't monoxidil, isn't that for hair growth?

1:15:49🔗 Drew That's monoxidil. That's a very different thing. This is nonoxynol.

1:15:52🔗 Adam Nonoxynol.

1:15:54🔗 Drew How do you know about monoxidil? That's an old time.

1:15:56🔗 Adam You hear about it all the time.

1:15:58🔗 Drew What?

1:15:59🔗 Adam Monoxidil, they would have, it was five years old. It's not that old.

1:16:02🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, five years. Go ahead.

1:16:04🔗 Adam How do I hear about it? It was 35 when it came out.

1:16:07🔗 Drew That's how I heard about it. Medicine things change so fast. That to me is an old time thing.

1:16:11🔗 Adam All right, buddy. Hey, Chris.

1:16:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:15🔗 Adam Yeah. Thanks for the like minded review. You know what they did? They did a thing in the movie that would have driven you nuts, which was at a certain point, it came out that the heroine, the lead female had been raped two years ago. And that's why she wasn't going to stand for it anymore. But I know that makes her a better victim. Of course. And tend not to fight back. Of course. But in the movies, since they're idiots, everything is just wrong. Yeah. Yeah. She's beating the crap out of guys. Stupid dad.

1:16:46🔗 Caller Horrible.

1:16:47🔗 Adam Jeffrey. You know, here...

1:16:48🔗 Drew I thought Jeffrey.

1:16:49🔗 Adam But hold on. Let me say this. As I was leaving the movie, you know, everyone gets into this thing where they're like, hey, man, that was eight bucks out the window. Uh-uh. That was two hours out the window.

1:17:01🔗 Drew Yes.

1:17:02🔗 Adam I don't care about the goddamn eight bucks. I'd pay another 50 if I could go back in time.

1:17:06🔗 Drew Get your money back. Get your time back, brother. Yeah.

1:17:09🔗 Adam If I could go back in time two hours and just go home and never have to be dragged through this sewer of a movie, I'll give you 100 bucks right now. You keep the eight bucks, I'll give you another 100 bucks. We'll move the clock back two hours. I'll get two hours of my life back. People do that all time.

1:17:23🔗 Caller They're like, I paid $750 to go to this movie. It was the worst two hours.

1:17:29🔗 Adam Wait, you think you're worth $375 an hour? What do you get paid when you go to your job? You get $3 an hour?

1:17:36🔗 Drew So basically you're saying we've got to increase the price of film?

1:17:38🔗 Adam I'm saying whenever you complain about a crappy movie, if you make more than five bucks an hour, forget about the money. It's the time. Be compliant about the time.

1:17:47🔗 Drew You're right.

1:17:49🔗 Caller I paid eight good bucks to see.

1:17:51🔗 Adam Eight good bucks, you're an attorney. You make $325 an hour.

1:17:55🔗 Caller You should be outraged.

1:17:56🔗 Adam You don't get these. You work 60 hours a week. You spend no time with your kids. It's not the $11. All right.

1:18:03🔗 Drew You're right.

1:18:04🔗 Adam You're absolutely right. Am I right? You're totally right. But am I right?

1:18:07🔗 Drew You're right.

1:18:08🔗 Adam Jaimeson, am I right or am I right? You're always right. Thank you. To you the seven bucks is the paramount issue. When you get older and your time gets precious, in the ten bucks, it's like zero. But it's the time. Jeffrey. Jeffrey? Hello? Am I right or am I right? You're right.

1:18:29🔗 Drew Jeffrey 16. What's up, Jeffrey?

1:18:31🔗 Adam Hold on.

1:18:32🔗 Drew I'm going to talk to Jeffrey.

1:18:33🔗 Adam I'm going to expand that. Am I right or am I right? Am I right or am I right or am I hung?

1:18:39🔗 Drew Are you hung?

1:18:40🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. Some working genitals into it. Jeffrey.

1:18:44🔗 Caller Adam.

1:18:45🔗 Adam Am I right? Corolla. Yeah. What's up?

1:18:48🔗 Caller First off, I'd like to say you're a genius, Adam.

1:18:51🔗 Adam Yeah. Am I right or am I right?

1:18:53🔗 Drew He can't think of the name of a shoot for himself, though.

1:18:54🔗 Adam You're right. Recycl-A-Rolla.

1:18:57🔗 Drew Adam shoot.

1:18:58🔗 Adam Drew, you can't come up with anything. All you can do is tell other people their ideas suck, but you never come up with anyone's of your own.

1:19:05🔗 Drew At least I'm halfway there. What's up, Jeffrey?

1:19:09🔗 Caller I was diagnosed with testicular cancer two years ago.

1:19:14🔗 Drew So same thing as Jaimeson has. Yeah. Same age, too.

1:19:20🔗 Caller I like that, Jaimeson, how we dealt with it emotionally with the females.

1:19:27🔗 Jaimeson Jones By females, do you mean mom or?

1:19:31🔗 Caller No, I mean the girls.

1:19:32🔗 Jaimeson Jones Oh, okay. Yeah, that's what I figured. Well, I don't know. If, I didn't really mind like talking about it, if they asked me about it. I mean, I didn't, you know, go around telling everyone, but, you know, people-

1:19:49🔗 Drew Didn't use it to get sympathy?

1:19:51🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, the cancer card doesn't work as good as you think.

1:19:54🔗 Drew Yeah, it's not like in the television series on Disney.

1:19:58🔗 Adam Hmm, well see, that would be my Make A Wish foundation thing. Hey, Chicken Ranch, Vegas, come on, let's go.

1:20:04🔗 Drew Or, I'm sure-

1:20:06🔗 Adam Or Rump, let's go.

1:20:07🔗 Jaimeson Jones Or Rump.

1:20:07🔗 Adam Let's go.

1:20:08🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah, I think on like FX, there was like that new show, it's always sunny in Philadelphia, they did that same thing as you know.

1:20:16🔗 Adam They did. They went to a brothel, I mean, baffle. They went to the ranch, they did a Make A Wish foundation to a chicken ranch?

1:20:24🔗 Jaimeson Jones No, they pretty much like, I think the whole thing was about them using cancer to get laid pretty much. Interesting.

1:20:33🔗 Adam Interesting.

1:20:34🔗 Jaimeson Jones I think it works better for the person's friend. Yeah. Something about-

1:20:38🔗 Drew I say good day to the friend.

1:20:40🔗 Adam Yeah, if you hang out, yeah, stood by him.

1:20:42🔗 Drew Good day.

1:20:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:44🔗 Adam I didn't go to the prom, I was hanging with Jaimeson that night. Yeah. Oh, you want to give me oral. That's how it would work.

1:20:51🔗 Drew That's how it would work for you, yes. That's how you'd work it. That's how it would work.

1:20:55🔗 Adam Yeah. So, Jeffrey.

1:20:57🔗 Drew Say good day.

1:20:57🔗 Caller Yes.

1:20:58🔗 Adam Jeffrey. Yeah. Is that a bad phone line? Yes.

1:21:01🔗 Drew How are you doing?

1:21:03🔗 Adam You in remission?

1:21:05🔗 Caller No, actually, it's been getting worse, but I've learned to deal with it over the past month, and I feel that if I die, then it's okay.

1:21:16🔗 Adam Really?

1:21:17🔗 Caller Yeah. I've come to accept it.

1:21:19🔗 Adam Oh. What have the doctors come to accept?

1:21:23🔗 Caller He said it won't go away for some reason. It's spreading rapidly.

1:21:29🔗 Drew What have you been treated?

1:21:33🔗 Caller I've been taking some medicine.

1:21:37🔗 Drew How were you treated?

1:21:40🔗 Caller Chemo.

1:21:41🔗 Drew What chemo?

1:21:42🔗 Caller Chemo.

1:21:43🔗 Drew What kind?

1:21:45🔗 Caller Through the blood.

1:21:47🔗 Drew This is a bogus call.

1:21:47🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, Jeffrey, this is bogus. All right. The phone line is bad. I hope it's bogus for Jeffrey's fault.

1:21:56🔗 Drew Let's talk about how this is treated.

1:21:57🔗 Adam Jeffrey's sake.

1:21:58🔗 Drew Particularly rapidly spreading somatoma. How would that be treated? There would be lots of surgeries.

1:22:04🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah. Then the chemo. I don't.

1:22:05🔗 Drew Chemo is bleomycin, platinum.

1:22:09🔗 Adam You know your chemo names, right?

1:22:11🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah. And atoposide, yeah.

1:22:13🔗 Drew Right. And atoposide is one that's really been a big boon to this.

1:22:16🔗 Adam Yeah. You don't just like, I don't know, the blood with the blood.

1:22:20🔗 Drew No. You would never have described it that way. He's 16.

1:22:23🔗 Adam Yeah. But what about, we got a lot of stupid people calling the show, Drew. You know what I mean?

1:22:29🔗 Drew No, I know. And I'm giving that benefit of the doubt, but still he really didn't. Look, I hope he doesn't have it. If he has it, stay with a good oncologist and a good oncological surgeon. This thing can be licked. It's a treatable tumor. We're going to lick together.

1:22:44🔗 Adam Together, we can lick. No. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. And like I said, we'd get the gecko or the anteater. They both have long tongues, you know? Think of an animal. It's got a lot of tongue. Oh, maybe a cow. Camels have a good tongue like a camel.

1:23:03🔗 Drew Everyone thinks the cat licking some milk or something. That's been cute. The gecko is good, the cat is good.

1:23:08🔗 Adam I like the camel.

1:23:09🔗 Drew The camel is kind of gross. It's spitting stuff at you.

1:23:12🔗 Adam It's got a lot of tongue on them, though.

1:23:13🔗 Drew It's got a lot of tongue.

1:23:15🔗 Adam Hmm. Cow. Cow's got a good tongue, too.

1:23:17🔗 Jaimeson Jones And giraffe.

1:23:18🔗 Adam Giraffe's got a nice tongue. Yeah. Beautiful tongue animal. Yeah. Giraffe tongue. A lot of tongue. What do they need that long tongue for? They got the long necks. They can go get the leaves. What's with the long tongue?

1:23:30🔗 Drew I don't know.

1:23:31🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:23:31🔗 Drew Just shoot the leaf move around probably.

1:23:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:23:34🔗 Drew To get their vowels clearer.

1:23:35🔗 Adam Yeah. They're always shooting up their nose and stuff. Look, I don't want to tell God his business, but don't make the tongue so it can get up the nostril. Freaks out everyone watching.

1:23:45🔗 Caller You know what I mean?

1:23:46🔗 Drew If you heard these crazy arguments about evolution lately, I can't believe I live in a day when these things are going on.

1:23:51🔗 Adam What's going on, Drew?

1:23:53🔗 Drew Well, there's argument, people who don't have training in genetics or evolutionary biology, arguing about whether these things are real sciences or not. It's just amazing.

1:24:03🔗 Adam Whether evolution is a real science?

1:24:05🔗 Drew Yeah, it's incredible.

1:24:07🔗 Adam Well, people are finding their religious roots.

1:24:11🔗 Drew But there's one thing to say that there's some sort of divine presence, like the great magnet or whatever we're talking about.

1:24:16🔗 Adam Yeah, I believe in the great magnet.

1:24:17🔗 Drew Or whatever, something. But to deny things that are highly evolved sciences because you don't understand them.

1:24:25🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:24:26🔗 Jaimeson Jones Wow. Wow.

1:24:27🔗 Adam Well, let me explain real super religious people. They don't need facts to get in the way. And it doesn't matter what your religion is. Facts, that's the enemy. You know what I mean? Facts and common sense. Whether you're a crazy Shiite Muslim or Hasidic Jews or whatever, you're born again Christians, whatever it is, you start working fact and logic into the equation, you're screwed. The jig's up. Try to stay away from that stuff. That's all, Drew. That's part of the deal. You understand? You can't really break things down logically and factually. You can.

1:25:04🔗 Drew There's some other Shiites who are very religious people and have just the domain of the religion is different. You know what I'm saying?

1:25:11🔗 Adam Yeah. Let's not get heavy. Let's keep moving here, Drew. Should we take a break?

1:25:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:16🔗 Adam I started having ED after.

1:25:18🔗 Drew Rectal dysfunction.

1:25:20🔗 Adam Oh, is that what ED?

1:25:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:22🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah. I think you should rectal dysfunction.

1:25:26🔗 Drew That would have been RD.

1:25:28🔗 Adam Yeah. I didn't know. I had to die. Well, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a doctor. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:25:38🔗 Hello.

1:25:39🔗 Caller This is your radio.

1:25:41🔗 Loveline will be right back.

1:26:19🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline of Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-er. Jaimeson Jones is here tonight. He is one of the world's forensic experts and knife throwers.

1:26:38🔗 Drew CSI.

1:26:39🔗 Adam CSI. Jaimeson Jones from the Make A Wish Foundation. He brought us here. He's 15. He has or had? Had. Had testicular cancer. He's obviously survived and part of his Make A Wish Foundation process. Well, he wanted to come out here and visit us. Then a second Make A Wish on top of his Make A Wish is to bring his good buddy out here, which he did, who we put on the microphone as part of his Make A Wish Foundation. They should have that. They should not only give the person that is sick to Make A Wish, but they should give the guy's best buddy or girlfriend or mom or dad or whoever, you know, taking care of the person and holding their hand and seeing them through these things. They should go with them.

1:27:27🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:27:27🔗 Adam Well, I guess that's what happened.

1:27:29🔗 Drew I look right here.

1:27:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:27:30🔗 Jaimeson Jones Well, yeah, it's usually actually a family thing. So I actually had to do some persuasive emails. You did?

1:27:39🔗 Adam Oh, really? And they did it.

1:27:42🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

1:27:42🔗 Adam All right.

1:27:43🔗 Drew You never flow until today or whenever was yesterday?

1:27:46🔗 Jaimeson Jones Yeah.

1:27:46🔗 Caller No, I didn't. Yeah, I'm kind of a loser.

1:27:49🔗 Adam You never been in an airplane. That's all right. I didn't. I just my parents just called it the metal bird. We didn't know what it was.

1:27:57🔗 Drew Airplane station.

1:27:59🔗 Adam I didn't think there's anything in it but bird crap. I didn't know what was in those things.

1:28:03🔗 Drew Those metal birds?

1:28:04🔗 Adam Yeah, the Corollas didn't fly. We barely drove. I didn't get into a plane. I didn't start traveling until I got into this crap. I was 30, so you're way ahead of me. Yeah. Now, Drew did a little flying. He did a little flying.

1:28:17🔗 Drew For college, that was it.

1:28:18🔗 Adam Yeah. That was it? Yeah.

1:28:20🔗 Drew I never ever thought the airplane would be this much part of my life. Not in a million years.

1:28:24🔗 Adam No, it's like someone would die every five years. You have to get on a plane.

1:28:28🔗 Drew Yeah, or maybe a huge family thing or go somewhere.

1:28:30🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, I'm just saying normal people. This wouldn't be me, but I'm just saying.

1:28:35🔗 Drew You wouldn't even do that.

1:28:36🔗 Adam You wouldn't think you were getting on a plane twice a week, three times a week. No, never.

1:28:40🔗 Drew Not a million years.

1:28:40🔗 Adam Never. All right.

1:28:41🔗 Drew Still can't believe I do that.

1:28:43🔗 Adam All right. Jaimeson, what's your buddy's name again?

1:28:47🔗 Jaimeson Jones Trevor.

1:28:47🔗 Adam Trevor, that's right. I'm going to write that down. Because no one said it. All right. Let's read to Matt. Yeah. Matt is 27. Matt.

1:28:58🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:28:59🔗 Adam What's up?

1:29:02🔗 Caller There we go. Yellow. I'm trying to figure out exactly what's going on with this whole surgery thing that was done by the Army.

1:29:12🔗 Drew How old were you when it had done?

1:29:13🔗 Caller I was 26. So it was about a year ago. I'd just turned 26.

1:29:17🔗 Drew And it was a hernia operation?

1:29:19🔗 Caller That's correct.

1:29:20🔗 Drew Both sides?

1:29:21🔗 Caller I was a right inguinal hernia.

1:29:23🔗 Drew Was it done with laparoscope or done open?

1:29:26🔗 Caller Open. I believe. I'm not sure. I mean, I was knocked out.

1:29:28🔗 Drew Did they use a knife or did they use a scope?

1:29:31🔗 Caller It was a knife.

1:29:32🔗 Drew OK. And what's happening now?

1:29:34🔗 Caller Basically, since then, I've had a problem getting a full erection. I mean, it's only partially hard. I called back to the hospital where I had surgery and spoke with the surgeon. And he basically said he didn't know what it was caused from. He said it could have been, couldn't have been, but he doubts it. And he told me to conduct exercise, which included pulling on the head of the penis.

1:29:58🔗 Drew Interesting. To do what?

1:30:00🔗 Caller He basically said that it would increase the blood flow. He told me to do this five days a week.

1:30:05🔗 Drew It's called masturbation, I think is what he's suggesting. That's a little light. You need to see urologists. This is not obviously a typical complication. I'm not even sure it's related necessarily.

1:30:17🔗 Adam How could it be?

1:30:18🔗 Drew You know, one side, it's hard to even imagine how one side could create this problem. You wonder if it's an anesthesia reaction or something else was put under the medication or something, something. I don't know, but it's not fitting with the mechanics of the surgery, per se.

1:30:33🔗 Adam By the way, he probably talked to a surgeon and just the guy told him it would beat himself off. He was laughing. He was actually giving medical advice. What do you mean, pull on it and try to get blood circulating? All right, so you need to go to urologists, right? For sure, for sure. All right, let's talk to Nicole, who's 30. Nicole?

1:30:52🔗 Caller Hello?

1:30:52🔗 Adam What's up, baby doll?

1:30:54🔗 Caller I have multiple problems.

1:30:56🔗 Adam All right. Well, give us just the top one.

1:30:59🔗 Caller By the way, hi, Dr. Drew.

1:31:01🔗 Drew Hey there. Hi, Nicole. Trevor and Jaimeson are here to help you too.

1:31:05🔗 Caller Okay. First of all, I cannot have an orgasm without clostorial stimulation.

1:31:13🔗 Drew That would make you normal.

1:31:15🔗 Caller What?

1:31:16🔗 Drew That would make you normal.

1:31:17🔗 Adam She mispronounced something there? Okay, good. So yeah.

1:31:21🔗 Caller Clitoral, whatever. Anyway, and I always had to be drunk when I'm laying down with my husband, but that's been always like whenever I lay down with anyone.

1:31:30🔗 Drew Lay down with in the biblical sense or just as opposed to being upright with?

1:31:35🔗 Caller Yes.

1:31:36🔗 Drew Lay down with.

1:31:37🔗 Adam Okay.

1:31:39🔗 Drew 20 years on the show, no one ever referred to that.

1:31:42🔗 Caller No, but it does sound like a passage like man should not lay down with peace. I'm a lady.

1:31:48🔗 Adam Wow.

1:31:49🔗 Drew When I lie down with my husband, it's like what happened to Noah after he came to.

1:31:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:31:54🔗 Caller I like that.

1:31:56🔗 Drew Did you wash his feet?

1:31:58🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:31:58🔗 Caller No, but if he would do me a favor and tell him that if he wore underwear, he would experience less chafing, it would be great.

1:32:06🔗 Adam He gave her oral and it was bad.

1:32:12🔗 Drew I don't understand your question.

1:32:13🔗 Adam Are you drunk? Yeah, you sound drunk.

1:32:16🔗 Caller Well, no, I'm not drunk yet.

1:32:19🔗 Adam You get drunk a lot, right?

1:32:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Actually, I think I'm probably an alcoholic.

1:32:24🔗 Drew Are you a trauma survivor too?

1:32:26🔗 Caller What?

1:32:27🔗 Drew Trauma survivor, somebody sexually abuse you or something you're growing up?

1:32:30🔗 Caller No. Not that I know of.

1:32:33🔗 Drew Why is being with your husband so difficult for you? They have to get loaded.

1:32:39🔗 Caller It's not just my husband. I feel like I should be able to and I feel bad that I can't, but it's everybody that I've ever been with.

1:32:46🔗 Adam All right. But now you're in a long-term committed relationship.

1:32:50🔗 Caller Right. Yeah. I've been with him for almost five years and I still cannot lay down with him without being drunk, like totally smashed.

1:32:59🔗 Drew How often do you-

1:33:00🔗 Adam So you must imbibe yourself with the grape before you lay down with said man?

1:33:07🔗 Drew Well, Bacchus visits her.

1:33:09🔗 Caller Bacchus.

1:33:11🔗 Adam Okay. Well, what about it, Drew?

1:33:13🔗 Drew Nicole, how often do you lie down with your husband?

1:33:16🔗 Caller Not very much anymore.

1:33:18🔗 Drew It used to be a lot.

1:33:19🔗 Caller It used to be great like acrobatics.

1:33:22🔗 Adam All right, Nicole.

1:33:23🔗 Drew You bipolar?

1:33:24🔗 Adam Here's the thing. I can just hear you. You're a mess, baby. You got issues.

1:33:28🔗 Drew Here's something you could do. If you are ready to run up the flag, that is to say surrender to all this mess, you can start with some recovery from the alcoholism. You had an alcoholic parent, right?

1:33:38🔗 Adam Yes.

1:33:39🔗 Drew Okay. So just having that, just the story you're telling, that's enough to sort of sign up for a 12-step process.

1:33:44🔗 Adam I can hear crazy on you.

1:33:46🔗 Drew Give it up, get a sponsor, work the steps. There is the potential to sort most, if not all the stuff out just with that. If you still need help, see a psychiatrist, but start with the 12-step because you've got so many different things going on here until you really surrender to the process of getting your alcoholism dealt with. None of the rest of it will go right.

1:34:04🔗 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. Well, that is it. I wanna thank Jaimeson Jones for coming in here tonight and the good people over at the Make A Wish Foundation for bringing in and also his buddy Trevor for standing by his good buddy and doing, that's what friends do.

1:35:13🔗 Caller Yeah, I guess.

1:35:14🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:35:16🔗 Caller I feel like a horrible person, you know? I feel like I'm just kinda reaping the benefits off of his cancer, you know, because here I am like on Loveline, on national radio.

1:35:25🔗 Drew He's not worthy.

1:35:25🔗 Adam I think Drew feels he's being paid to be here.

1:35:29🔗 Drew I'm not worthy either.

1:35:30🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. We'll take ourselves a little 22-hour break. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Drew, you could put a recycling chute in your house.

1:35:41🔗 Drew Can I?

1:35:42🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, not you. Oh, you're lame, but you could have a Mexican do it. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:36:01🔗 Caller Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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