Tuesday, August 23, 2005

0:57🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04🔗 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20🔗 Adam Yeah, buddy. Get it on. Goddamn, get it on.

1:23🔗 Drew And tonight it's not because you're tired, it's because you're jacked up.

1:25🔗 Adam I'm jacked up tonight.

1:27🔗 Drew Angry. Why do people do that to you?

1:29🔗 Adam Why, Adam?

1:30🔗 Drew Why you?

1:30🔗 Adam I don't know.

1:32🔗 Drew You know, here's, I think, I'm trying to analyze it. You, you, you, no, no, no, it's not, it's not that. It's not that he's being a crybaby. It's that he notices inconsistencies, irregularities in the environment.

1:42🔗 Adam Yes.

1:43🔗 Drew The irregularities in the environment strike his brain loudly.

1:47🔗 Adam Yes.

1:48🔗 Drew A flea farts, Adam hears it.

1:50🔗 Adam Like a thunder clap.

1:52🔗 Drew And so, and so when you notice things that other people don't notice and suggest a solution.

1:57🔗 Adam Nobody listens.

1:58🔗 Drew It doesn't register. It doesn't like that.

1:59🔗 Adam And then I go insane.

2:00🔗 Drew And then you go insane the fourth time. But if it has something to do with the, the, the sensitivity with which you're registering these things that other people can't even get.

2:07🔗 Adam Let me just put, it used to happen at the Man Show, now happens at Too Late with Adam Corolla.

2:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:12🔗 Adam 1130 Comedy Central, Monday through Thursday, be on and out.

2:14🔗 Drew Oh, tight Wednesday, at the CFO channel, Loveline. I mean, it's just a real channel.

2:17🔗 Adam Yeah, Loveline.

2:18🔗 Drew It's like midnight.

2:19🔗 Adam Here's the thing. My office is upstairs. Every day I walk up a flight of stairs and I walk into the office and I will open the front door. And as I look up, I see the porch light is on. And I know you're going to find this hard to believe, Drew, but I'm the last person in the office every day. Here's my take, by the way, my name is on the show, it's on the office, it's on the sign out front. A lot of people think that means they're the first person in. To me, it translates into I'm the last person in.

2:47🔗 Drew That's good.

2:48🔗 Adam But I'm the last person in there. People gotta get there at eight, I gotta get my beauty sleep. But the point is, is I'm the last person to walk up those goddamn stairs and the porch light's on. 222 people walked under that porch light without flipping the light off. 222 Democratic, left-wing, tree-hugging, environmental kiss-my-ass narcissists. They don't really give a good rat's ass. Yeah, if Sting's playing something to save a whale or a rain forest, they'll there if they think they can get laid. But when it comes to the actual nuts and bolts stuff, like shutting lights off, not so glorious. Not so interesting.

3:22🔗 Drew Not unless they can be known as the light-shut off.

3:24🔗 Adam Yeah, not unless they actually have a commemorative medallion or plaque put there. So I shut the thing. And then I say to everyone, how is it that 120 people came into this front door, all walking up the stairs, by the way, looking at the light, nobody shot it. Nobody, nobody notices. Now then comes the part. Well, do you see it? I think you see it. Do you care? Answer, no. How do you get people to care about stuff they don't care about? Answer, you don't. Solution, kill yourself. That's it. That's my solution.

3:59🔗 Drew But the caring part is something that you have a little distortion on relative to other people. Which is it registers so loudly with you and so weakly with them that they never get to the part where, do I care about this or not? Because it's not really registering. And I know your philosophy is, well, if you cared, it would register.

4:18🔗 Adam But I'm not cared if you were interested.

4:21🔗 Drew But what I'm saying is there's certain stimuli that just have trouble getting in in a day. You know what I mean?

4:27🔗 Adam Well, here's the reality. It's a light for the love of Christ. It's not a toothpick that's in a wood pile. It's a light. A light's register. That's why they use lights in aircraft and stuff for warnings and things like that.

4:41🔗 Drew Psychological studies, they can sort of, there are thresholds that people respond to. And some people respond really wildly to easy thresholds. And other people, you measure and measure and measure these sort of threshold responses in their brain and they don't register.

4:53🔗 Adam Let me just put it this way. I went into the kitchen at my office today to the communal kitchen and the peanut butter, big tub of skippy peanut butter sitting there, caps sitting right next to it. All right, now the person, I found the person. I got everyone in there. Oh, F, yeah, I hunted them down like a seal.

5:12🔗 Drew I would love to have been a part of that.

5:14🔗 Adam I was running late, I stopped everything. Who left this god damn lid off? Okay, you're not at home. Now here's the thing, what the person, they were distracted, they weren't thinking about it, but here's the reality, not their house, not their peanut butter, not their kitchen, and they got their peanut butter. They're done.

5:30🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

5:31🔗 Adam There's a lot of that. And I know it's not only that.

5:34🔗 Drew Yes, okay, good.

5:35🔗 Adam It's not only that, but it doesn't make a person a bad person, but I'm saying, yes, when you walk up those stairs, you physically see the light on. Do you react to it? No, part of it is, that's not how you're cut out. The other part is, it's not your house, it's not your light bulbs, not your electricity bill. All right, that's all. And I would contend that if people actually made it their business to wake up a little more, they would see these things.

5:59🔗 Drew Well, yeah.

6:00🔗 Adam All right.

6:01🔗 Drew So anyway, what's the show we're doing here?

6:02🔗 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-191. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dave Matthews coming in tomorrow night. Exciting. Drew's going to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight. So you want to check that out. Watch my show at 11.30 and then you switch over to Kimmel. Check out Drew and Kathy Griffin.

6:20🔗 Hey Corolla. Only because you expected for me at this point. Maybe they're so tired when they get there because they get there early, and you're the only one that's awake. That's why they don't see the light you do.

6:31🔗 Drew No, because he's...

6:33🔗 Adam Don't even dignify that with a response.

6:35🔗 Drew He just shifted his sleep.

6:36🔗 Adam I'm so tired. I haven't showed up at work. Don't talk to Andy and Kristy.

6:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:42🔗 Adam I'm going to talk to...

6:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:44🔗 Okay.

6:44🔗 Adam Everyone who shows up at work is tired at night in the morning.

6:47🔗 Drew Well, but you sort of shift your whole sleep thing later because of this show.

6:50🔗 Yeah.

6:50🔗 I go to bed at 2.30.

6:52🔗 Adam I'm more tired than they are. They go to bed at 11 and they wake up at 8 like human beings.

6:55🔗 Drew Kristy, what's up? 21.

6:57🔗 Yes. I just recently got out of a relationship for a year and a half with a guy who is impotent.

7:04🔗 Drew What do you mean impotent? What does that mean to you?

7:06🔗 Well, actually, I'm just going on the assumption that he's impotent. He was a virgin and I didn't find out until five months after we were together. And we tried half a dozen times to have sex and he just couldn't stay hard.

7:21🔗 Drew So he could, he could, he could.

7:22🔗 During every other aspect of sex, but when it came to intercourse, he was unable to keep his erection.

7:28🔗 Drew Would he, was he able to penetrate and lose the erection during intercourse?

7:32🔗 No, it was like his penis was scared of my vagina.

7:36🔗 Drew And as soon as like, You know, I actually knew that because it came off and went down the floor. Ay, ay, ay, ay, right across the room.

7:42🔗 Adam So it never got in.

7:43🔗 No, uh-uh.

7:44🔗 Drew And was he putting a condom on before he tried to put it in?

7:47🔗 Yes, it would stay hard while the condom was on.

7:49🔗 Drew Okay, well, a lot of guys lose it with the condom. That's a common thing.

7:53🔗 Adam And it didn't stay hard while the condom was on. It was on its way down when the condom went on.

7:58🔗 Drew We actually have ways of working with those kinds of guys, and that is they need to learn to masturbate with the condom on. And, uh...

8:04🔗 Well, we broke up.

8:05🔗 Adam I'm impressed because it's my idea. Ooh, what an idea of me. Yeah, go ahead, Christy.

8:11🔗 Okay, so my question is, after we broke up, I started sleeping with this guy. Mm-hmm. He's 28 and he has three kids. And, um, I have absolutely no feelings for him whatsoever, but I'm sleeping with him, and it's weird to me because I am not... I'm not that kind of person. I've never been able to have sex with somebody that I didn't have at least some sort of feeling for.

8:35🔗 Drew What is your question?

8:37🔗 Is that normal or...?

8:39🔗 Drew It can be.

8:39🔗 Adam You're just trying to get back on the horse after...

8:44🔗 Drew This isn't going to be something you're likely to do for a long time, provided you're not a trauma survivor and you've been able to have other relationships satisfactorily.

8:51🔗 Well, I was sexually molested as a child.

8:54🔗 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

8:57🔗 Drew So, in fact, it gets a little more dicey because you will sort of go through phases in sexuality where... Basically, what that causes in you is an internal split in terms of how you experience yourself as a sexual being. What part of you feels bad and that's the part of you that has sex, and maybe that's the part that the ex-boyfriend was reacting to, so freaking out a little bit. And part of you feels good and feels good about yourself, but you can't be sexual with that part, good part of yourself. So you can be sexual with a bad guy or a guy you don't like or you don't have any feelings for, but somebody you're actually attached to, it can be hard to be sexual. So it might be worth your while getting a little treatment for that.

9:37🔗 Adam How about a little therapy, baby doll?

9:39🔗 Right.

9:40🔗 Adam And stop having sex with this guy. He's got three kids. You're not into him.

9:45🔗 Why do you have to have sex with someone?

9:47🔗 Adam You need to have sex with somebody.

9:49🔗 Drew Magically you'll shut down.

9:50🔗 Adam Get a vibrate.

9:50🔗 Drew Yeah, magically you'll shut down as soon as you get a good guy.

9:53🔗 Adam Yeah, you know, I don't think it's, you know, Drew, you always have a horrible knee-jerk reaction, and it's funny to talk about the double standard. If we were talking about a guy who was just having casual sex and no feelings attached with a woman that had three kids, you'd be like, well, listen, knock it off. You got to be responsible. Those kids are going to become attached to you. You're going to ruin those kids' lives, so on and so forth. You skimmed right past this. She said, he has three kids. I'm having sex with him. I have no feelings for him whatsoever.

10:27🔗 Drew Let me tell you why.

10:28🔗 Adam Why?

10:28🔗 Drew I know guys, and that guy ain't going to have her around his kids, that a-hole that she's sleeping with, while the guy that wants the girl, the older girl with the three kids, is going to be lurking around all the time.

10:40🔗 Adam Yeah.

10:41🔗 Drew So it's a different thing.

10:42🔗 Adam Well, not totally though. In general, it's a single parent having a relationship.

10:47🔗 Drew Let's see, let's find out. Ask her if she's ever met these kids.

10:51🔗 Adam Christy?

10:52🔗 I've never met his kids.

10:53🔗 Drew There you go.

10:54🔗 Adam Wow.

10:55🔗 Drew See, I know-

10:55🔗 What do you guys do, meet?

10:56🔗 Adam What do you guys hook up in like a bed of a pickup truck or something?

11:00🔗 Drew I know that guy. That guy's not going to let her meet the kids? No way.

11:03🔗 He doesn't have custody of his kids.

11:05🔗 His wife does.

11:06🔗 That's better.

11:09🔗 Adam Well, now it's coming to focus for me at least. What do you mean that guy, Drew?

11:13🔗 Drew The guy that's going to sleep with the 21-year-old when he's got three guys. I imagine-

11:17🔗 Adam He's not a protective father. He doesn't have custody of the kids.

11:19🔗 Drew I know. It's even more-

11:21🔗 Adam Why doesn't he have any custody? Why doesn't he have custody of the kids?

11:25🔗 I'm not real sure.

11:26🔗 Drew Does he have visitation or does he have any custody at all?

11:29🔗 Yes, he has visitation. His wife is in a relationship with this guy and he seems really controlling and I-

11:35🔗 Drew Oh, it's her fault. Yes, yes. She's the bad one. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. She's the bad one.

11:41🔗 Yeah, she's refusing to let him see his kids right now.

11:44🔗 Adam And he's doing what about that?

11:46🔗 He's actually taking her to court and trying to sue her for custody of them right now.

11:50🔗 Adam So awesome. It's great when- that's a dear, dear story. It is- it's so awesome when the parents are going at it.

11:59🔗 Drew I know.

12:00🔗 Adam Kids are getting kicked around like a volleyball. You know what I mean? Actually, let's say hit around like a volleyball. They wouldn't really kick a volleyball.

12:08🔗 Drew By the way, they'd be better off actually being physically kicked around.

12:11🔗 Adam Just kicked around. Yeah. They got the weirdo stepdad in there. They got the court situation. Come on, parents. It amazes me that parents can't get over their own crap or put their own crap aside, even on behalf of their children.

12:26🔗 Drew I know.

12:26🔗 Adam Willing to go at it in front of the kids, willing to get in ugly court battles in front of the kids, and with the kids.

12:32🔗 Drew Here's the thing that amazes me as I've gotten older is, how hard is it just to have a relationship, just to be quiet, just mellow out? Yeah.

12:38🔗 Caller Just shut the F up, everybody.

12:39🔗 Drew Just sit back and have a quiet life. What's so hard about that?

12:43🔗 Adam What's so hard about it is it doesn't mirror the chaos they grew up in.

12:47🔗 Drew I know.

12:47🔗 Adam So it's uncomfortable.

12:49🔗 Drew I know.

12:50🔗 Adam So silence is uncomfortable to these people. When you're chaotic and you're stupid, you have to have some noise going on all the time. It's like, you know what it's like, Drew? When you grow up and you grow up right by the train station, you hear those trains coming in and coming out. It's a racket. Now, if you went over that house, you couldn't sleep. But if you grow up in that house, you can't sleep without it.

13:10🔗 Drew It's a soothing sound.

13:11🔗 Adam It's soothing. It's what you're used to. So when you move out, you move out to the country, you get a nice place, you lie around, you roll around, you get up at night and you go back to the train station. You need the noise. You need the chaos.

13:23🔗 Caller I agree.

13:24🔗 Wow, Drew.

13:25🔗 Drew Heavy.

13:25🔗 Adam Heavy.

13:26🔗 Drew It's almost as heavy as the thing you said last night about the progression through football by age and how the 15-year-old can't play with the 18-year-old.

13:33🔗 Heavy.

13:34🔗 Drew That's the way a 15-year-old can't date an 18-year-old.

13:36🔗 Adam Tim.

13:36🔗 Drew That's some heavy ass.

13:40🔗 Adam Tim.

13:42🔗 Yes.

13:42🔗 Adam 19. What's up?

13:45🔗 I was wondering if you guys feel that age really plays in a relationship.

13:51🔗 Drew Well, interesting. I just brought that up. Let's say that again, Adam. Give him the thing. Give him the talk.

13:56🔗 Adam You know why. I'm not going to do it.

13:58🔗 Drew Give him the NFL talk.

13:59🔗 Adam It was good.

14:01🔗 Drew Why aren't you going to do it?

14:02🔗 Adam Anderson's going to play that world as your oyster.

14:04🔗 Drew Okay, Anderson, please do not play that.

14:06🔗 Adam I'm not going to talk.

14:07🔗 Drew No. Anderson, please don't do it. Can I have a... You're worried, Anderson, you won't do that.

14:17🔗 Adam Alright, here's why age makes a difference as I discussed last night. Not a big difference when people are adults. Not a big difference in the NFL between a 24 year old guy, 21 year old guy, or 31 year old guy, and a 23 year old guy. But go to the Pop Warner level and show me the difference between 11 year old and a 14 year old.

14:40🔗 Drew Huge.

14:41🔗 Adam I'm going to show you guys getting crushed and run over.

14:43🔗 Drew Yes.

14:44🔗 Adam And hurt.

14:44🔗 Drew Yes.

14:45🔗 Adam You would not put an 11 year old in with 14 and 15 year olds.

14:49🔗 Drew Nor would you put a 14 year old with a 16 year old.

14:51🔗 Adam They'll get bones broken.

14:52🔗 Drew Yes.

14:53🔗 Adam That's why they have the B team and the junior varsity and all that crap when you're 15.

14:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

14:58🔗 Adam OK. It's the same thing with the sex and the relationships. It doesn't make a difference if the dude's 31 and you're 27 or if you're 25 and he's 33. All that's out there. Hell, if you're 30 and the dude's 60, it doesn't make a difference. But three years make a huge difference when you're 13 and they're 16 or you're 14 and they're 17.

15:18🔗 Drew Now, in this case, he's 19 and she's 32. You're not an adult yet, really, Tim. You're on the cusp there. You look and act like an adult, but 21 is a bit different than 19. It really is. Really, the thing that concerns me about adults, this isn't like, oh my God.

15:35🔗 Adam We don't trust her.

15:36🔗 Drew We don't trust her. You wouldn't be in a position to really assess what's going on with her. Then finally, when people are at different places in their life, you're far enough away from her. You're 13, 14 years away. The priorities of what you're looking for in life are very different. Very different.

15:52🔗 Adam Except for he's looking to get laid.

15:53🔗 Drew That's all he's looking for and that's not what she's looking for.

15:56🔗 Adam Tim.

15:57🔗 Yes.

15:57🔗 Adam When was she?

15:59🔗 Sorry guys, but much like I'm starting my life working out, she's maybe heading towards midlife because I'm just wondering if she's giving me subtle signals that she really likes me for me or she really likes me because I'm young meat and she thinks I might be profitable.

16:15🔗 Drew It's profitable.

16:16🔗 I don't think things should work that way.

16:18🔗 Adam Profitable.

16:19🔗 Drew Here's what this is Tim.

16:20🔗 Adam Wait a minute, is she divorced?

16:21🔗 Drew She just had a horrible break up, horrible divorce and you're a boy toy to her. That's what this is.

16:27🔗 Yeah.

16:27🔗 Adam When did she get divorced?

16:31🔗 I never, she's never been married. She does, but I know she does have a 14 year old daughter though.

16:37🔗 Adam She's 31.

16:39🔗 And she's an ex-dancer.

16:41🔗 Drew Oh, exotic dancer?

16:42🔗 Adam Ex-dancer.

16:43🔗 Drew Oh man, you were in over your head.

16:45🔗 Adam Yeah.

16:45🔗 Drew You don't understand what you're into.

16:46🔗 Adam She's pregnant at 16.

16:48🔗 Drew Oh boy.

16:50🔗 Adam Or 17. Yeah. Hey Tim. Yeah. Here's-

16:54🔗 Drew You need to go visit that USS North Carolina.

16:57🔗 Adam Here's what you're gonna do. He's calling from North Carolina, everyone. Come on.

17:02🔗 Drew I'll give the reference.

17:03🔗 Adam Okay, listen, Tim, here's what you need to do. You need to not get her pregnant and you need to not look at this as a long-term relationship.

17:13🔗 Drew Or even a relationship.

17:14🔗 Adam Or even a relationship. Do not get her pregnant. What do you do? Tim.

17:21🔗 Drew That's clear.

17:22🔗 Adam What do you do? Drew, answer me. What do you do?

17:24🔗 Drew I'm a physician.

17:25🔗 Adam You say you're a doctor. Can I see some credentials?

17:27🔗 Drew I show them to you.

17:28🔗 Adam What kind of radio program? All right, Tim. Tim, what do you do for a living?

17:34🔗 I'm an interior decorator, I hate to say.

17:38🔗 Adam From North Carolina?

17:39🔗 Drew Well, that's where they make all the furniture.

17:41🔗 Adam They do?

17:42🔗 Drew In North Carolina, yeah. It's all made there.

17:44🔗 Adam That's where all the furniture is made?

17:46🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

17:47🔗 Oh, yeah.

17:47🔗 Drew You know that?

17:48🔗 We have some very reliable names here. We got, of course, actually furniture. That's us. You see a whole bunch of that stuff.

17:56🔗 Adam It's all made in North Carolina. And what do you do as an interior decorator?

18:00🔗 Drew Now, that's a retarded question.

18:02🔗 I'd probably be more suited for one of the guys on HGTV, but, you know, like, you know, designs with furniture, sometimes I do all, you know, I can just, you know, go into a blank room and say, Fill that space.

18:13🔗 Caller All right.

18:14🔗 Drew Fill that space.

18:15🔗 Adam All right, Tim.

18:15🔗 Drew Anderson, where are you?

18:16🔗 Adam The guy's an interior decorator from North Carolina. I'm just... Look for the areas.

18:20🔗 Caller Fill that space.

18:22🔗 Adam Fill that space. I'll tell you, one of the greatest things, greatest pleasures in life is traveling and watching a little local TV.

18:32🔗 Drew Well, you and I did that. He came running down the hall with a towel on one time. I was in the shower and banging on my door until I answered.

18:38🔗 Adam Yeah, I found Christopher Lowell. I found a guy at Monterey on some local morning gardening show on Sunday morning. I watched it that made Christopher Lowell look like Howie Long. You want to talk gay.

18:53🔗 Drew Wow.

18:54🔗 Adam This guy was spectacular gay. He was telling you how to... You know, all these gardening shows... And listen, I don't know what this guy is. Don't get her pregnant. All these gardening shows is always like... Is there a gardener in the world that will use pesticides or likes pesticides?

19:10🔗 Drew Mine.

19:11🔗 Adam Good. Every gardener on the TV is always like, OK, don't use the pesticides. OK, what should you do? OK, take garlic and mince that garlic up and pulverize it and then put it in with some now add some salt to that water. And then what you can do is put that in a mister. It's like, yeah, I don't have six years and fourteen hundred bucks to put into the god damn thing. I'm getting a can of raid. So it's always like you can get rid of the snails by making a chalk out. How about I get some snail killer? You know what I'm saying? They make stuff like what else is this guy do? You can heat your water by holding it a lighter under it and then putting. How about I get a water heater? They have things. They have stuff specifically made for this. I'll just go on by. We show against that stuff.

19:57🔗 Drew Never made the man stuff.

19:59🔗 Adam Yeah, it's trying to poison me. Anyway, this guy was just novelty gay.

20:03🔗 Drew And by the way, you're up there in Northern California. Come on.

20:06🔗 Adam Yes. He was probably not gay by Northern California standards, but he was super novelty gay by my standard.

20:11🔗 Drew The super green stuff.

20:13🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

20:14🔗 Yeah.

20:14🔗 Adam Oh, they're out collecting snails at night with a flashlight.

20:17🔗 It's awesome stuff.

20:19🔗 Adam Made a trap to catch earwigs. Out of a margarine container and like some soy sauce. It was awesome.

20:27🔗 Drew Tammy.

20:28🔗 Adam Tammy.

20:29🔗 Caller Yes.

20:30🔗 Drew What's up?

20:31🔗 Caller Hi.

20:32🔗 Drew I feel energy already.

20:34🔗 Adam Really?

20:34🔗 Drew What's up?

20:34🔗 Caller Okay. Hello. I'm calling because I've been married for six years. And in the past seven months, I cheated on my husband five times.

20:46🔗 Drew So what's he been not doing or what's he been doing to you?

20:49🔗 Caller He has not been affectionate. Like I try to tell him to cuddle with me and to hold me. And he is so distant. Like I'll lay in bed and I feel cold. And we make love like once a week, but I want to have sex like once a day, at least. I'm really passionate and I'm really sensual. And I was incredibly into the marriage and the whole idea.

21:11🔗 Drew Hang on a second, Tammy, did you, those words came spontaneously out of your mouth?

21:15🔗 Caller Yes, I'm serious.

21:18🔗 Drew Passionate and sensual, Adam.

21:21🔗 Adam Drew's a passual. He's a combination of sensual and sensual. Drew's a passensualist.

21:32🔗 Passensualist.

21:33🔗 Drew Oh my God.

21:34🔗 Adam Yeah, he's a passionate and sensual man. The only thing I'm passionate about is Drew's passion.

21:41🔗 Drew Jimmy introduced me tonight as a passionate, passionate man.

21:43🔗 Adam Oh, he did? Oh, good. I don't really have any passion of my own, but I am very passionate about Dr. Drew's passion.

21:48🔗 Caller Oh, you are.

21:49🔗 Adam Yes. So, Tammy, okay, a couple of things. I'm going to brace myself, Drew. Do you have any children?

21:57🔗 Caller No, no children.

21:59🔗 I have a college degree.

22:00🔗 Caller I'm a smart woman.

22:01🔗 Drew Well, we're not. This is this. Well, this doesn't have to do with intellectual.

22:05🔗 Adam What do you do over there in Las Vegas?

22:08🔗 Caller I'm a teacher.

22:10🔗 Adam And what is it, about 172 degrees out there now?

22:13🔗 Caller I think it's about 220 degrees.

22:15🔗 Adam Wow.

22:16🔗 Drew You're not from Las Vegas.

22:18🔗 Adam No one's from Las Vegas.

22:19🔗 Caller Where are you from?

22:20🔗 Caller Originally, I'm from Alabama.

22:22🔗 Drew Alabama. Okay, listen, I've got a million questions first. So Tammy, if you don't mind, we'd like to put you on hold.

22:27🔗 Caller Okay.

22:28🔗 Drew And let's take a break. All right.

22:29🔗 Adam School teacher, Las Vegas.

22:31🔗 Drew Tammy is one of these people.

22:32🔗 Adam It's hot when the school teachers cheat.

22:34🔗 Drew But this could become one of those things you'll hear about in the news. You know, this is the school teacher with boundary problems.

22:40🔗 Adam Yeah. And you know, you know, my white trash sexual ease name. The list, I think, is Tammy, Cammie.

22:50🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, she's right in there.

22:51🔗 Adam And Joel.

22:52🔗 Drew She's got it.

22:52🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. All right. We'll take a quick break. Tammy, hang on. And we'll get back to Peel Your Onion after this.

23:01🔗 Dude, you got issues.

23:03🔗 Caller Call Loveline.

23:04🔗 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline is brought to you by the American Legacy Foundation's 947.

23:11🔗 Caller Alternative Portland.

23:24🔗 Adam Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. The bitching never ends over here. Drew and I go to the bathroom, we complain, we get on the radio, we complain, we get in our car, we complain.

23:35🔗 Drew We got a lot to complain about these days.

23:36🔗 Yeah, yeah. A lot.

23:39🔗 Adam It's my new hobby.

23:40🔗 Drew It's complaining?

23:41🔗 Adam It's my new pastime.

23:41🔗 Drew New hobby? You've just refined it. You've got new categories.

23:45🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah.

23:46🔗 Adam It used to be, I used to do some bitching, some moaning and complaining. Now I'm pretty much just focusing on complaining. It used to be like a three sport jock.

23:54🔗 Drew Yeah, you're just majoring in complaining.

23:56🔗 Adam Well, I'm all American in complaining. I lettered in bitching and moaning, but I'm all American first team.

24:03🔗 Drew And you went on to college to do more and so.

24:06🔗 Adam Yeah. Tammy?

24:08🔗 Drew Yes. All right. So Tammy, you were a monogamous. You got married at what age? Why did you guys leave?

24:14🔗 Adam All right, hold on. Let's just reset. She's from Vegas. She's a school teacher. She's 26. She's cheated on her husband with five different guys.

24:21🔗 Drew Because he's being cold and not showing, not only not showing her affection, which is a common reason that women cheat when they're not getting their emotional needs met. However, and you are, however, Tammy's added a new wrinkle, which is that she wants to have sex every day and he won't comply with that. And that is actually slightly different than most women's sort of reason for cheating. And it does imply trauma.

24:44🔗 Adam I don't know that he won't comply with it, but have you told him you wanted to have sex every day?

24:50🔗 Caller I have. I've told him that I'm in my sexual peak. And he needs to comply. And he says that our timing is off. And then I've told him that I want him to hold me and to cuddle with me. And he just, he tries, but it's like he's not naturally affected.

25:07🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, he's like Drew when he's trying to act.

25:11🔗 Caller Like it wouldn't.

25:12🔗 Adam Like a lot of guys just aren't good at that stuff. And it's hard to make them good at it. And the best they can do is sort of fake it and try not to screw it up. But yeah, they, they, they squeeze you like a, behind me, the robot from Get Smart, you know? So here's the thing, Tammy. Thank you. I'm tired. Here's the, here's the deal, Tammy. Is this guy under a lot of stress? Does he work at night? Do you guys miss each other during the day? Or is he just checked out?

25:39🔗 Caller He is under a lot of stress, but I also, he also told me that he was as a little, as a child, that he was, he was abused by his older siblings.

25:53🔗 Drew Sexually abused?

25:54🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean, he, he didn't say so, but I know beaten up every day.

25:59🔗 Adam And Tammy, what about you? Were you ever sexually abused?

26:03🔗 Caller I was never sexually abused. I mean, my, my mother was, and I grew up with a teenage mother, and I was kind of like the mother in the house, and I always wanted to be different than she was. So that's why I'm struggling with this, because I'm facing this part of myself that to me is so much like her.

26:20🔗 Adam You were, you had a teenage mom, and you know, you never had a kid. You didn't lose a kid or get an abortion?

26:28🔗 Caller Well, I did when I was 18.

26:29🔗 Adam Yeah, there we go.

26:30🔗 Drew Abortion.

26:31🔗 Adam Abortion?

26:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:32🔗 Drew Mm-hmm, that's fine. It comes in focus.

26:34🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Yes, because I sat here and said, she's 26 and she's not been pregnant, yet she, she had a teenage mother growing up? Impossible. Goddamn possible. Yeah. It bothers. It's really, it's like a siren going off behind one of my eyeballs. I just see red out of one eye, like, what's going on? No, doesn't add up. Doesn't compute.

26:59🔗 Caller Not working.

27:01🔗 Adam Had to have had an abortion or something. There has to be a version to make this okay. Also, it's in line now.

27:06🔗 Drew What has to, you have to add another layer on this too, which she has to have lost her virginity at 12 or 13. And she looked at that as losing her virginity as opposed to sexual abuse.

27:15🔗 Adam You lose your virginity at what age?

27:18🔗 Caller I was, it was at the beginning of my freshman year in college, so.

27:23🔗 Drew College? Oh.

27:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:25🔗 Adam Drew, always spot on, buddy.

27:27🔗 Drew 18.

27:28🔗 Adam You lost your virginity at 18.

27:31🔗 Caller Yes.

27:31🔗 Adam And you got pregnant shortly thereafter.

27:34🔗 Caller Shortly thereafter.

27:35🔗 Adam All right, so now you teach, who do you teach? I mean, how old are they?

27:39🔗 Caller First graders.

27:42🔗 Adam And who are these guys you've been having sex with, these five different guys?

27:47🔗 Caller One was an ex-boyfriend, another was a co-worker, and then another was...

27:56🔗 Adam Mr. Sipansi from Woodshop. Yeah.

28:00🔗 Drew Keep going.

28:01🔗 Caller Another was somebody who was a little bit older. And...

28:08🔗 Adam How do you do that thing where you have sex with one of the other teachers or someone that doesn't get sticky and weird?

28:14🔗 Was it a substitute teacher?

28:15🔗 Caller Well, it's not in the school.

28:18🔗 Drew I know, but it's somebody you work around, you're having sex, you're married, isn't that kind of weird? People must know.

28:23🔗 Caller Yeah, it's a little bit, it feels a little bit gross, actually.

28:26🔗 Adam Yeah, it was weird for me and Drew. All right, so do you want to make this marriage last?

28:33🔗 Caller I don't know, I mean, I'm concerned about leaving because I don't want to have regrets about leaving somebody who is the opposite of what I grew up with. This person has a good family and is stable and is really nice.

28:45🔗 Drew Wait a minute, a good family? He was abused by his siblings.

28:49🔗 Caller Well, you're right, but I mean...

28:51🔗 Adam Listen, Tammy, here, okay, let me give you my two cents.

28:55🔗 Caller Okay.

28:56🔗 Adam You're acting out. I don't know that this guy's ever going to be enough for you. I think there's a hole inside Tammy that no plug could ever fill.

29:05🔗 Drew I think Tammy's bipolar.

29:06🔗 Adam And Tammy could be bipolar because she's acting out.

29:09🔗 Drew Yes, and Tammy, you really need to see a mental health professional. Before you leave, before you make any big choices, go see somebody. Because you may have an illness, you may have some trauma that just sort of having the teenage mom, God knows what other sort of instabilities you're exposed to that makes it impossible to be in a stable relationship. Both the tendency towards bipolar biology and some of these interpersonal issues can be dealt with in treatment. And you should owe your marriage that at least, give it a chance. Both Adam and I are suspicious that this guy may actually be a good guy.

29:39🔗 Adam Yeah, you can't handle it.

29:41🔗 Drew You can't handle that.

29:42🔗 Adam Tammy.

29:43🔗 Caller Yes.

29:44🔗 Adam Here's the other thing. For the love of Christ, do not tell him. Oh, don't get pregnant. Don't tell him about this stuff.

29:51🔗 Drew He'll kill somebody.

29:52🔗 I won't.

29:53🔗 Adam Now, listen to me.

29:56🔗 Drew Because you're going to have a tendency to want to...

29:57🔗 Adam You're going to want to tell him.

29:58🔗 Drew Yeah.

30:00🔗 Adam Just listen to me.

30:01🔗 Drew That whole impulse of, I got to be honest. He needs to know. It's only right that he knows.

30:05🔗 Adam No, no. Nonsense. As Allah's my witness. I'm totally about my conversion, Drew. As Allah's my witness, Tammy, you will regret that day for the rest of the time you're with him.

30:17🔗 Drew It could be dangerous. It could be dangerous.

30:19🔗 If your therapist...

30:21🔗 Adam Now, don't listen to your therapist.

30:22🔗 Drew No, and if the therapist says, let's bring him in here, we gotta start talking about this. But don't by yourself.

30:26🔗 Adam Look, what's done is done. If you want to commit to the relationship, commit to it. Get some therapy, all right? All right.

30:34🔗 Drew Now, I'm sure all our listeners are gonna go, I heard you tell somebody to go out and cheat and don't tell your partner. It's not worth saying.

30:40🔗 Adam No.

30:41🔗 Drew We've got a situation here with somebody that might have mental illness, where her behavior could literally cause somebody to die. It could.

30:50🔗 Adam Well, look, if you want to look at most killings in this country are crimes of passion, for the most part. Guys that just get shot and stuff, it's mostly chicken ass. I mean, you know, everyone thinks it's serial killers and that kind of stuff, but it's mostly just nonsense. Guy finds out his- Mostly drug stuff, mostly drug stuff, sorry. Second is guy finds out his buddy got on with his old lady, he gets drunk, he goes over there, the drugs factor in when someone gets drunk or high or loose and they just go over there and shoot somebody.

31:25🔗 Yeah. All right.

31:27🔗 Adam Where are we, Drew? You want to talk to Miss Kitty? Let's talk to Kitty. She's been on hold for a half hour. Kitty?

31:33🔗 Drew Hello, Steve.

31:35🔗 Adam But takes care of her 49-year-old codependent mom who is suicidal.

31:43🔗 Drew What's up, Kitty?

31:45🔗 Caller Oh, I don't know where to begin.

31:48🔗 Adam Your mom is suicidal?

31:50🔗 Caller Yes. I've caught her twice in the last month. I had to take a razor blade away from her and she took a bottle of Xanax and something else. I'm not sure what the other bottle was.

32:00🔗 Drew Has she been hospitalized for these episodes?

32:02🔗 Caller I've called both times. I got her sent in. When I took the razor away, I called the guy that she dealt with at the mental health place and told him what was going on. He sent him back out there to get her and they released her the same night. No insurance.

32:24🔗 Adam No insurance. Set him free.

32:28🔗 Caller Yes.

32:30🔗 Adam Does anyone from Bakersfield have insurance?

32:32🔗 Drew No, no. That's how I knew she didn't have.

32:34🔗 Adam Kitty, where's your dad?

32:36🔗 Caller He's in the living room. Listening to you guys.

32:38🔗 Drew Do you have any siblings?

32:40🔗 Caller Yes. I have two older and one younger. Six-year-old younger. And then twenty-six, twenty-five-year-old.

32:48🔗 Adam What is your dad? Why has this responsibility landed on your shoulders?

32:54🔗 Caller The family separated, divorced, and my mother, my dad is, he's got my six-year-old brother, and he's doing a very good job, you know. And my mom is absolutely, psychotically convinced that he's trying to turn her six-year-old's...

33:13🔗 Adam Is your mom a drug addict?

33:15🔗 Caller Weed, I don't know of anything else.

33:17🔗 Drew Weed daily?

33:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:20🔗 Caller And she's on a colonipin, and the doctor that she's seen, he started her off on Vanax, and he started her off on the one milligram blues three to four times a day. Wow. She's 110 pounds.

33:32🔗 Caller Yeesh, and does she, is that anti-psychotic?

33:35🔗 Drew No, it's an anti-anxiety, but it's highly addictive.

33:37🔗 Caller It's, yeah, it's very, very addictive.

33:40🔗 Drew Was she an alcoholic at one time?

33:43🔗 Caller No, she drinks occasionally, but no real alcohol.

33:46🔗 Drew What is her diagnosis, do you know?

33:48🔗 Caller Obsessive, or no, I'm sorry, post-traumatic stress syndrome.

33:53🔗 Drew What happened to her?

33:54🔗 Caller She's gone through a couple of rapes and just traumatic stuff in her life.

33:59🔗 Drew So she probably has a borderline personality, right?

34:01🔗 Caller Huh.

34:02🔗 Adam Did she just grow up around hillbellies?

34:06🔗 Caller Yeah, her family was obese.

34:08🔗 Drew Abuse, and abusive and all.

34:10🔗 Adam Yeah, lots of hillbelly stuff.

34:12🔗 Drew Does she have a borderline personality disorder?

34:15🔗 Caller I've wondered, because it's like sometimes it's great and sometimes it's just like, she's telling me stuff.

34:21🔗 Adam Alright, so what do you do with mom?

34:23🔗 Drew What do you want to do, Kitty? What's your question?

34:26🔗 Caller I don't know what to do, because the older kids don't want anything to do with her. The six-year-old's too young to deal with this.

34:33🔗 Drew Oh no, please.

34:34🔗 Caller Yeah. You know.

34:38🔗 Adam Hey, Kitty, do you have kids?

34:39🔗 Caller No. No, no. Waiting for a while. Oh.

34:43🔗 Drew Kitty's okay.

34:44🔗 Adam Yeah, you sound sane, Kitty.

34:46🔗 Drew Thank you. Have you been taking care of yourself? Do you go to school? You have a job? I mean, you're not going to dedicate your life to this.

34:51🔗 Caller I'm unemployed. I have OCD. I haven't been able to take care of myself because of my mother taking care of her.

34:59🔗 Adam Alright, what do you do, Drew, at a point where your mom's not going to get help and you can't convince her to get help and so you have to stop your life and drop everything to stop, keep them from themselves.

35:11🔗 Caller She's going to kill herself.

35:13🔗 Drew Yeah. At a point, you just create as much community structure as you can. You participate at a level that's reasonable and that's it. You can't let her illness make other people sick or ruin other people's lives. It's not okay. You have to find ways to create structure, to create activities, to create supervision for her, whether it's community resources or visiting nurses or McKinney Mental Health Centers, whatever it is. You've got to find ways to get her what she needs. Now, it sounds like 12-step might be helpful for her too, but it doesn't sound like she's open to that kind of thing. I mean, she wants to take a break.

35:47🔗 Caller She tried. She had a thing where she'd go to three counseling meetings and then she'd get a counselor, personal counselor.

35:54🔗 Drew All right.

35:54🔗 Adam So, look, I get a look. Drew, I'm, I was going to say I'm an atheist, but a Muslim now. Here's my take on all this kind of crap, especially my family. You try to help them as much as you can.

36:08🔗 Caller They're going to blow up.

36:09🔗 Adam They're going to blow up. So you can see them on. And look, not everyone makes it to 80.

36:13🔗 Drew No, these are potentially life-threatening mental health issues, and that's the reality. It needs to be dealt with in a structured way, and good people need to be supervising, and if you can get better insurance for her or that kind of thing, do that.

36:24🔗 Adam Well, here's the other thing, too. I don't know. Like I said, I'm not a religious person, but look, there's people that want to die. They're miserable. Their life sucks. She's calling for Bakersfield, Drew. If I was there for 10 minutes, I'd fly over Bakersfield. I'd try to kill myself with the fiesta mix in the airplane, Drew.

36:44🔗 Drew And the oxygen.

36:46🔗 Adam I'd try to wrap the oxygen thing that falls out of the thing about right in my neck and strangle myself. Yeah. Yeah. That just makes ejaculation more pleasurable. Awesome.

36:57🔗 Drew All right. But it's a very complex person.

36:59🔗 Adam Kitty, I, you know, there's no good answer to this question.

37:03🔗 Drew Can you get her better insurance?

37:05🔗 Caller She actually has no insurance.

37:07🔗 Drew Yeah, but can you get her, find a way to get her Medicare, get her Medi-Cal, something where she can get longer-term kinds of care? And really, she needs to go to board and care.

37:16🔗 Adam Enlist the help of your loser brothers and sisters who are older to help you.

37:22🔗 Drew Right. But a board and care for her, a mental health board and care really is what it sounds like she needs.

37:26🔗 Adam But Kitty, don't turn into Mother Teresa on this one, and don't make it part of your deal.

37:32🔗 Drew Right. And I bet, by the way, Kitty, I know those women that were to become caretakers of difficult mothers was, it was hell when you were a teenager. You fought, it was abusive, and now you're going to make it right. No, no, no, no, no. It's not the way it works.

37:46🔗 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

37:57🔗 Caller The National Highway Traffic Live 105.

38:17🔗 Adam It's the Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800- quiet, Drew. 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er.

38:25🔗 Caller Drew gonna be on the Great Jimmy Kimmel Show tonight.

38:28🔗 Adam Adam gonna be on the Great Adam Carolla Show tonight. Drew gonna be on Those of You Listening on the East, on the Great Discovery Health Channel Show, to Strictly Sex at Midnight.

38:33🔗 Drew And we're gonna be on the Great Jimmy Kimmel Show tonight. Drew gonna be on Those of You Listening on the East, on the Great Discovery Health Channel Show, to Strictly Sex at Midnight.

38:39🔗 Wow.

38:40🔗 Adam Wow, it's gonna be tough. Let me figure this out, Drew. You go on 2nd at Kimmel, right?

38:45🔗 Drew Yeah, so that'll be, and they had a long, so it's about midnight, just after your show.

38:50🔗 Adam No, no, you-

38:50🔗 Drew Oh, they're on Midnight now, right?

38:51🔗 Adam They're on 12-06.

38:53🔗 Drew I was thinking they moved to 11-30, yeah.

38:55🔗 Adam You'll be going on about 12-41, 12-36, something like that.

39:00🔗 Drew Yeah.

39:00🔗 Adam That's when you tune in.

39:01🔗 Drew Yeah.

39:01🔗 Adam That's when you make the move.

39:02🔗 Drew Perfect.

39:02🔗 Adam You don't need to see Kathy Griffith.

39:04🔗 Drew She was good, though.

39:06🔗 Adam Oh, now you're going to make people want to see Kathy Griffith.

39:08🔗 Drew Well, you're going to be over 12, right? Yeah, I'll be done. Wait, wait, you're in it. You're half hour. Yeah, you're over 12.

39:12🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm half hour. Andy?

39:16🔗 Caller Hello?

39:17🔗 Adam Andy?

39:18🔗 Drew Andy was 19.

39:19🔗 Adam How are you? What's up?

39:22🔗 Caller I'm 19 years old. My girlfriend just turned 18, and we've both been talking, and I will really like it. I mean, I need her to get breast implants, and I'm just wondering what I should do.

39:32🔗 Drew What are you doing?

39:33🔗 Caller I don't know if it's bad for me or.

39:36🔗 Drew You need her to get breast implants? Is that what you said?

39:38🔗 Caller Yeah, I need her to get the breast implants.

39:41🔗 Drew You need that. That's an interesting way of expressing that. What do you mean exactly?

39:44🔗 Caller I mean, it's just hard for me to be somebody that has the chest of my little brother or something. I mean, it's just, I don't know. I don't know. Adam, does your wife have big boobs?

39:57🔗 Adam Oh yeah, she's doing fine.

39:59🔗 Caller Well, that's not what I mean, right?

40:01🔗 Adam I like them.

40:03🔗 Yeah, I mean, what can you like?

40:04🔗 Caller Could you imagine being with somebody who didn't have any boobs at all?

40:07🔗 Drew He wouldn't be with her. That's the point.

40:09🔗 Adam I've been with Drew.

40:11🔗 Drew How dare you? I'm insulted.

40:13🔗 Shoulder blades are sticking out pretty good.

40:15🔗 Caller Well, I don't understand.

40:16🔗 Oh, shut up.

40:19🔗 Adam Look, this guy's an idiot. It's bogus obviously. I do not understand why she does not have them. Should you imagine being with a woman whose mind is movies? She's like my little brother. She had no movies.

40:39🔗 Yeah.

40:42🔗 Adam Well, could you imagine?

40:46🔗 Drew It's bogus.

40:47🔗 Adam It's bogus. Here's why. No question. Of course, I want to know if it's bad for her to get them boobie implants. You want to know if it's bad for her? You don't never heard about this? Never? Don't know. Yeah. Well, it's still in the experimental phase. They've done it to a few rhesus monkeys, but they've never actually performed it on a human being before. So we're just going to wait till the data comes in. Now, if she wants to be part of the test group, pioneer astronaut in the book.

41:15🔗 Caller Idiot.

41:17🔗 Adam I always get offended. I don't get offended at the part where they ask the bogus question. I get offended at the part where they didn't prepare well enough for the bogus question.

41:25🔗 Caller Right. Right. All right.

41:26🔗 Drew Move on. You're giving me too much time.

41:28🔗 Caller Steve?

41:29🔗 Caller Yes.

41:30🔗 Adam 28?

41:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:32🔗 Adam What's up?

41:33🔗 Caller I don't know. I've been out of the game, the dating game, for about five, maybe six, seven years.

41:40🔗 Drew Why?

41:40🔗 Adam You could just say game. We wouldn't think you're talking about professional hockey.

41:44🔗 Caller Hey, hey, hey, funny. But I mean, it's more or less, you know, like...

41:49🔗 Drew Well, that's that.

41:49🔗 Adam That's it.

41:51🔗 Drew You've got that fingers itching tonight, I noticed.

41:54🔗 Adam Here's the deal. My A-hole cup was filled to the brim before I came in here.

41:59🔗 Drew I know, it was. That's why you've been getting that master's degree and complaining.

42:05🔗 Adam I feel bad for Steve now. All right, go ahead.

42:10🔗 Caller I'm sorry, but...

42:12🔗 Drew Why haven't you been seeing anybody for five years?

42:14🔗 What happened?

42:15🔗 Caller The last girl I went out with, her family was totally pressing upon their daughters to find guys who have well-managed jobs, who make money.

42:33🔗 Drew Can you blame them? If you had a daughter, wouldn't you be urging them to do the same thing?

42:37🔗 Caller Not really.

42:38🔗 Drew You wouldn't be urging them to be with somebody that was stable and employed?

42:41🔗 Adam Not even worth going down that path. Steve, so she broke up with you because of her family?

42:48🔗 Caller No, not really. She just ditched me because of various obvious reasons that I don't even have a clue to.

42:59🔗 Drew Obvious reasons that you don't have a clue?

43:02🔗 Caller Well, it's obvious because I don't have money. I mean, what am I to do? I'm not rich. I mean, I don't come from a rich family.

43:10🔗 Drew How long were you with her? How long were you with her?

43:12🔗 Adam Are you saying you're very well off?

43:15🔗 Caller Well, I'm a happy person. I mean, for the life I have.

43:19🔗 Drew But you're able to support yourself?

43:20🔗 Caller Well, yes.

43:22🔗 Drew So you have a job?

43:23🔗 Caller Well, if I don't have a job, I can find ways to make money. Like what?

43:29🔗 Adam Rolling hobos, stuff like that.

43:30🔗 Drew What do you do if you don't have a job?

43:31🔗 Caller Well, kind of like Jack of All Trades. It's summertime, I go out and cut grass. If it's wintertime, I go out and shovel driveways or, you know, or go to people that know about jobs.

43:41🔗 Adam Right, right, leaves in the fall? Yeah. Hold on a second. Hold on. Now, I wouldn't call a guy like Steve dumb. I would call him a dullard.

43:55🔗 Caller I'm not sure what's worse.

43:57🔗 Adam But he's a very simple man. Not a bad man, but a simple man. Yes, yes?

44:02🔗 Drew Yes, yes. I would like to know how long he was with Yon Lady.

44:06🔗 Adam I'm not so sure she knew she was with him, Steve.

44:08🔗 Drew I know, that's what I'm getting to.

44:10🔗 Caller Yes?

44:10🔗 Adam How long were you with your girlfriend?

44:13🔗 Caller About a year.

44:14🔗 Drew A year. You were seeing her regularly and dating her?

44:17🔗 Yes.

44:18🔗 Adam Did you have sex with her?

44:20🔗 Caller No, that's just the simple fact that-

44:23🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Drew, help me up off the ground.

44:26🔗 Drew I, Adam, come on, come on. Wait, I gotta get a spatula and scrape you off the ground.

44:31🔗 Adam Now here's the thing. The reason I, now when a 20-year-old guy, a 28-year-old guy says he's been with a chick for a year, you don't normally have me ask, did you have sex with her? But when we found out they were together for a year, it wasn't right. So now we found out they haven't had sex.

44:48🔗 Drew So they weren't together.

44:50🔗 Adam Not in a loveline way.

44:51🔗 Drew No.

44:52🔗 Adam There may be more here. Steve?

44:55🔗 Caller Yes.

44:56🔗 Adam Why no sex?

44:58🔗 Caller Like I was going to try to say or explain, I should say, is she said my size is too big for her.

45:08🔗 Drew Did she see your penis?

45:09🔗 Adam The only acceptable excuse by the way for me.

45:11🔗 Drew Yeah, of course. Did she see your penis?

45:14🔗 Caller Yes.

45:15🔗 Drew She saw it.

45:15🔗 Adam Okay. All right.

45:17🔗 Caller But that's not the relation of my call. The relation of my call is that I've been out of it for almost five, six years.

45:26🔗 Drew What I was getting at was that it seems rather unusual that a relationship that wasn't consummated, that was sort of a friendship, platonic relationship, when it ends, should devastate you and take you out of the game.

45:39🔗 Adam I just love the fact that he has a massive dork, though. So cruel. Life can be so kind and so cruel simultaneously.

45:46🔗 Caller No, my dork is an average size.

45:49🔗 Adam Oh, it is?

45:51🔗 Drew She just wasn't going to have sex with him.

45:52🔗 Adam Well, between that and her family, you know. OK. Steve, let me give you some quick advice.

45:58🔗 Caller All right.

45:59🔗 Adam Here's what I need. You sound like a good guy, like a very simple guy, but a very kind man and a good man. And not all women are interested in dating rich guys. They don't have to. They need to date guys who are consistent and secure.

46:13🔗 Drew They can support themselves.

46:14🔗 Adam You shovel in driveways, rake in leaves, and mow in lawns at 28 is not something that women are interested in. Even the most open-minded women. They need consistency and they're right. Because if you have a family, they don't want to know that dad was killed in a lawn mowing incident and left them five bucks in a Budweiser belt buckle. So here's the thing, Steve. Forget about the women for just one second.

46:41🔗 Drew Work on some work.

46:41🔗 Adam Focus on the career.

46:43🔗 Drew Job.

46:43🔗 Adam Yeah, you don't need to be an attorney, but just get a job somewhere. Get a job at a Walmart. Get a job and keep a job. And start getting some structure.

46:53🔗 Drew You need insurance. You need some benefits. You need all those things that people need to get successfully through life in a safe and sane way.

47:01🔗 Adam And magically, when that part of your life as a male starts coming together, the women start to find you.

47:07🔗 Drew Magically.

47:08🔗 Adam All right, buddy.

47:09🔗 Drew Here we go.

47:10🔗 Adam We'll take a break. We'll be right back after this.

47:12🔗 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

47:14🔗 Drew Look in the hookup.

47:14🔗 Caller Call the dateline.

47:15🔗 Stick a waist in time with the wrong person.

47:17🔗 Drew Call the dateline.

47:18🔗 One call is all you need to make.

47:20🔗 Caller Call the dateline.

47:21🔗 1-877-889. If you need help, call Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:33🔗 Caller Live 105.

47:48🔗 Adam Yeah, baby.

47:49🔗 Caller Whoo, hey, yeah.

47:53🔗 Adam Yeah, Loveline, that's what I'm talking about. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Dr. Drew on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight. Adam Corolla on Too Late with Adam Corolla tonight. 11.30, Comedy Central. Yes, Drew.

48:11🔗 Drew East Coast, Dr. Drew on Strictly Sex, Discovery Health Channel Midnight.

48:16🔗 Adam Adam Corolla on This Show.

48:18🔗 Drew That's right.

48:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

48:20🔗 Caller You ready to go here, Drew?

48:22🔗 Drew You know, I thought about you tonight when I was on Kimmel and I thought, that's pretty good. And I thought, no, just me. You mean, you just you thought I thought I did pretty good. You know, that was I was going to say, well, what if I do not good, not bad, not well? I thought, well, it'll still just be me. Yeah.

48:37🔗 Adam Yeah.

48:38🔗 Drew You're like, I can't do good or bad.

48:40🔗 Adam Well, you're like, you know what it's like? It's like a certain panda bear or koala bear thinking they're unattractive. They don't realize to us, they all just look like the same bear and needing to do something to be more. Yeah.

48:52🔗 Drew More panda.

48:53🔗 Adam The panda is going to gusty himself up.

48:57🔗 Caller That's right.

48:57🔗 Adam But Drew, don't worry about it.

48:59🔗 Drew It's pathetic.

49:00🔗 Adam What a life.

49:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:01🔗 Drew I know. Just don't put out.

49:03🔗 Adam You get to be you.

49:04🔗 Drew It's nice.

49:05🔗 Adam That's it.

49:06🔗 Drew Yeah. Doesn't get better than that.

49:08🔗 Adam It's awesome. I mean, that's that's why you should want to be like Drew or Anna Nicole or Paris Hilton. You know, you just you just are. No one ever says so. You ever hear anyone say that Anna Nicole Smith stunk on a show? Bad outing.

49:25🔗 Caller Bad set.

49:26🔗 Adam Bad set on Conan.

49:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:29🔗 Adam No, I've seen her. I've seen her kill on Letterman. But tough, tough set on Conan.

49:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

49:34🔗 Adam Or Paris Hilton.

49:36🔗 Drew Yeah, I reassured.

49:37🔗 Adam Or Paris Hilton just go out there with her dog and look around.

49:40🔗 Drew I reassured myself with that going out. And then when I did well, I thought, yeah, doesn't matter.

49:46🔗 Adam It's the same thing. It's like Paris Hilton can't be bad in the sack. All she's got to do is hold still.

49:53🔗 Drew And you're having sex with Paris Hilton?

49:54🔗 Adam You're having sex with Paris Hilton. It's sort of the same thing. She can't have a bad Letterman appearance. If Paris Hilton has a bad Letterman appearance, it's Letterman's fault.

50:05🔗 Drew Right, right.

50:06🔗 Adam If Adam Corolla has a bad Letterman appearance, it's Adam Corolla's fault.

50:10🔗 Drew Got it.

50:10🔗 Adam You cool?

50:11🔗 Drew Yet strangely though, if I go do Letterman, it'll be my fault.

50:14🔗 Adam No.

50:15🔗 Drew Cause he wouldn't take that responsibility.

50:17🔗 Adam No, he would. Drew, you're not quite like Anna Nicole or Paris Hilton, but you're Drew.

50:22🔗 Drew Yeah.

50:22🔗 Adam You have to worry about it. All right?

50:24🔗 Drew Had a good time. What?

50:28🔗 Adam I'm doing Letterman in like three weeks or something like that. That's cool. Yeah, I did it six years ago.

50:36🔗 Drew Do me a favor.

50:36🔗 Please welcome Adam Corolla.

50:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:44🔗 Adam You know what it is?

50:45🔗 Drew Yeah, but why?

50:46🔗 Adam Who knows why?

50:48🔗 Drew That's what they cleared.

50:50🔗 Adam Whitney? Yeah. Yeah, it was awesome because when I was done doing Letterman, they were like, hey, man, you are awesome. That was a great appearance. Yeah. Sent me a letter saying, we'll see you back real soon.

51:01🔗 Caller Never call.

51:02🔗 Adam A scant 72 months later.

51:05🔗 Caller Pow.

51:10🔗 Caller All right, go ahead, Whitney.

51:12🔗 Caller I have a blood disorder I inherited from my dad. It's latent five defect.

51:18🔗 Drew It's factor five?

51:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:20🔗 Drew Factor five, von Leiden factor. They have Leiden factor, rather.

51:22🔗 Adam Great rampant.

51:23🔗 Drew Yeah. So this is a thing that makes you react to estrogens with increased risk for clotting.

51:29🔗 Adam Exactly.

51:30🔗 Drew Yeah. The fact and if you ever, the really thing we worry about the Leiden factor is something called a Vista, which is a hormone replacement therapy that doesn't hmm.

51:40🔗 Adam Leiden factor sounds like a Jerry Lewis saying from the fifties. Leiden, Leiden, doesn't it?

51:48🔗 Drew Right. Right. Right. Let's put the guy's name.

51:50🔗 Adam Yeah.

51:50🔗 Drew It looks like this should be like a series of things that roll off your tongue like Leiden.

51:54🔗 Caller Nice lady.

51:55🔗 Adam Leiden, Leiden, Leiden factor.

51:59🔗 Drew Oh my.

52:00🔗 Caller All right.

52:00🔗 Drew So what's the question, Whitney?

52:02🔗 Caller What?

52:04🔗 Drew Whitney?

52:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:05🔗 Drew What is your question?

52:07🔗 Caller I've been on depot since just after I turned 16. I'm 19 now.

52:12🔗 Drew Yep.

52:13🔗 Caller And I'm really tired of it and it really doesn't help with my mood. I'm moody anyway.

52:19🔗 Drew Yeah, it does screw with your mood. It screws with your sex drive and makes you not have a period. But anything with estrogen is going to be somewhat of a risk for you. So the depot is just progesterone. So it's a good choice for you. So what I would do if I were you is I would talk to probably a hematologist. Do you have a hematologist?

52:38🔗 Caller Sorry, what?

52:38🔗 Drew Do you have a hematologist?

52:40🔗 Caller No, I don't.

52:41🔗 Drew I would talk to hematologist about perhaps some kind of low dose pill that you could get on safely. I don't know. I wouldn't be comfortable recommending something without that kind of a consultation.

52:53🔗 Caller Hi, Drew.

52:54🔗 Adam I'm going to ask Whitney if she's ever heard of Jerry Lewis.

52:57🔗 Drew That's a good idea.

52:57🔗 Caller What do you think?

52:58🔗 Drew She didn't jump right at that.

52:59🔗 Adam What do you think? Well, it's always unsatisfying.

53:03🔗 Drew She'll have heard of him, but then ask if she's ever seen one of his films.

53:07🔗 Adam Or could describe him or where she knows him from and that'll be empty.

53:12🔗 Drew Yeah.

53:13🔗 Adam Okay. That's here because I think we're on the same page.

53:15🔗 Drew Or he might be a big pumpkin headed guy.

53:17🔗 Adam Whitney?

53:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:19🔗 Adam Do you know who Jerry Lewis is?

53:21🔗 Caller No.

53:22🔗 Caller All right.

53:26🔗 Adam Now, see in the past, you'd be safe because we'd have engineer Chris in here. There's 30. We have no idea who Jerry Lewis was either. Then when I was explaining to a junior producer, Lauren, how insane that was, she would ask who Jerry Lewis was too.

53:41🔗 I don't know who he is.

53:42🔗 Adam That's when I would just spin out of control.

53:46🔗 Drew I hope you're kidding.

53:47🔗 Adam Anderson's kidding.

53:47🔗 Drew You're a film, you're a cinematic connoisseur. All right.

53:51🔗 You know who she might know as the professor on The Simpsons is kind of a caricature of him. All right.

53:57🔗 Drew Ask if she knows who Dean Martin is. Just to really put a nail in it.

54:01🔗 Caller All right.

54:03🔗 Adam Whitney? Dean Martin?

54:07🔗 Caller I know the name.

54:09🔗 Adam Oh, you do?

54:10🔗 Drew What do you have heard of him?

54:11🔗 Caller I can't tell you any more than that.

54:13🔗 Drew Does he have a nickname?

54:14🔗 Adam No, she thinks he heads up the students at the high school.

54:17🔗 Drew No, she thinks it's a car. But I think Dean Martin.

54:20🔗 Adam All right.

54:20🔗 Sammy Davis Jr.?

54:22🔗 Drew Sammy Davis Jr., Whitney? Yes. All right. Good. Okay.

54:25🔗 Adam Wow. I hope Jerry's not listening. He's going to kill himself.

54:29🔗 Drew He's done. We're working on that for a while.

54:32🔗 Adam How's he doing?

54:33🔗 Drew I heard, I talked to somebody who saw him last week, said he just looks not so good.

54:37🔗 Adam Oh, really?

54:38🔗 Drew He has an exaggerated startle and every person that walked up to him for a picture, he goes, oh, you scared me.

54:42🔗 Adam Oh, really? What's his condition?

54:45🔗 Caller Drugs?

54:46🔗 Adam Well, but he has other-

54:48🔗 Drew Chronic pain syndrome.

54:49🔗 Adam Chronic pain syndrome.

54:50🔗 Caller Oh, really? All right.

54:53🔗 Adam Mary?

54:55🔗 Caller Hello?

54:56🔗 Adam You're 15?

54:57🔗 Caller Well, I'm turning 15 in two weeks.

55:00🔗 Drew All right.

55:00🔗 Adam We'll go with 15.

55:01🔗 Caller What's up?

55:03🔗 Caller I pierced my nipples about a year ago and I'm just like wondering if that will affect like how my breasts grow?

55:13🔗 Adam Yes.

55:14🔗 Drew No. Well, if they get infected and slough off, yes.

55:18🔗 Adam Your nipples or the whole thing?

55:19🔗 Drew The whole thing. You lose the whole damn thing.

55:21🔗 Caller Really?

55:21🔗 Drew Yeah, you get horrible infections.

55:24🔗 Caller Mary?

55:25🔗 Caller Yeah?

55:26🔗 Adam You did your own nipple piercings?

55:28🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

55:29🔗 Caller All right.

55:29🔗 Adam That is so aggressive. Aggressive, yes. And it is so contrary to what most healthy women are capable of. We're just going to assume you're effed up. So tell us what happened in your childhood.

55:44🔗 Caller A lot of things.

55:45🔗 Drew No kidding. All right.

55:46🔗 Adam Who abused you?

55:48🔗 Drew This is a sign of severe physical abuse.

55:50🔗 Stuff like that.

55:51🔗 Adam Physically abused you?

55:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:54🔗 Caller Okay.

55:56🔗 Adam And sexual abuse?

55:58🔗 Caller Um, no, I don't think so.

56:00🔗 Drew No, I don't get that from anyone.

56:01🔗 Adam I don't get it either.

56:01🔗 Caller Let's just check it.

56:02🔗 Drew This is just beaten.

56:04🔗 Adam All right. Just beaten.

56:06🔗 Drew You know, I was floating a theory to myself today, Adam. Think about how people reproduce their traumas. They have a compulsion to reproduce trauma.

56:14🔗 Adam Yes.

56:14🔗 Drew Let me float a theory.

56:16🔗 Adam Go.

56:16🔗 Drew Do you think that the trauma of being ripped away from another person's body, meaning mom's body, the womb, is some of what fuels our drive for sex? To reenact the fusion and be pulled away again? Is that an interesting idea?

56:33🔗 Adam It is an interesting idea.

56:34🔗 Drew Because everything else that follows that initial trauma is the same damn thing. It colors everything we compulsively do. Interpersonally, especially, or exclusively.

56:43🔗 Adam Well, the sex part obviously is a drive.

56:46🔗 Drew It's a biological thing. Yeah, yeah.

56:48🔗 Adam It has a nature and state of reproduction. But yeah, it's decent. Could have kept it to yourself. But yeah. It's a good five.

56:56🔗 Caller It's a solid five.

56:57🔗 Drew Thank you. Thank you.

56:58🔗 Adam One, two, hundred, five.

57:00🔗 Caller Mary? Yeah?

57:02🔗 Adam Okay. And now you're doing what? Something if you're going to pierce your clitoris? Or you already did that?

57:08🔗 Drew She already did that.

57:10🔗 Caller Well, I pierced down there, like myself, yeah.

57:14🔗 Adam All right. So what is your question?

57:16🔗 Drew What is your question?

57:17🔗 Caller What?

57:18🔗 Adam She's crying out for help.

57:19🔗 Drew What's your question?

57:20🔗 Adam She didn't have a question.

57:21🔗 Caller I just wanted to know if it'll affect how...

57:23🔗 Adam Yeah, well, look, you should have asked that before you did it, but that's not why you called. You just called to talk and to have us pick you apart and...

57:32🔗 No, I really had to know.

57:35🔗 Adam No. So here's the thing.

57:36🔗 Drew If you wanted to know, you would have called before you did it.

57:38🔗 Adam What are you doing for yourself? Are you getting any counseling?

57:41🔗 Caller Oh, no.

57:43🔗 Drew Okay, the piercings are a three. The situations, the feelings, the emotional circumstances that led you to do these poor piercings is the 500 on Adam's scale again.

57:55🔗 Adam Yeah, there's trouble, baby. What are you gonna do? Are you still living at home?

58:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:01🔗 Drew 15.

58:02🔗 Adam People still, well, are you with the same abusive people?

58:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:06🔗 Drew Have you ever called Protective Services or anything on them? No. Would you ever think about that as a way of trying to help yourself?

58:12🔗 Caller Yeah, but I don't think I could.

58:15🔗 Why?

58:16🔗 Caller I don't know. I just always have a feeling that they would find me and then they'd get mad or something. I don't know.

58:22🔗 Adam What's your dad do? Publicist?

58:24🔗 Caller He's a drywall taper.

58:32🔗 Adam Oh, that is worse than roofer, I would say. I got to pull my laminate out of my wallet and find the white trash pecking order as it pertains to the trades. But hot mopper, roofer, a sheet rocker, and then taper.

58:51🔗 Drew He just tapes drywall?

58:53🔗 Adam Yeah, well, because he got a guy in front of him that's hanging the rock and he's behind it, muddying it.

58:58🔗 Drew Oh, I see.

58:59🔗 Adam He's doing the seams. They're doing like commercial work, right? She doesn't know. Okay. So here's the thing, Mary. You got to get...

59:07🔗 Drew The girls whose fathers fly F-18s don't know what they do.

59:10🔗 Adam I know.

59:10🔗 Drew She knows what...

59:11🔗 Adam Right. You got to get yourself some help.

59:14🔗 Drew Okay.

59:14🔗 Adam Are you going to school?

59:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:17🔗 Adam Are you doing okay in the school?

59:19🔗 Caller I get really good grades.

59:21🔗 Drew Good.

59:21🔗 Adam You do.

59:21🔗 Drew That's outstanding. That is your ticket out. That's your ticket to ride.

59:25🔗 Adam Yeah. Mary...

59:26🔗 Drew Go away and go to college, Mary.

59:27🔗 Adam Here's the thing. Your parents are horrible people. You're not going to change them. If they lay hand on you, you should call the cops. You have that right.

59:37🔗 Drew Okay. And they will protect you from them.

59:40🔗 Adam All right. Don't experiment on yourself anymore, please.

59:43🔗 Drew You're going to have... Just the way...

59:45🔗 Adam Gets good grades.

59:46🔗 Drew Yeah, it's good. Think about how crazy that impulse is when somebody smacks you around and your impulse, then, is to beat on your own body.

59:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

59:54🔗 Drew Put things through it, hurt it. It's again, we compulsively reenact those things that are done to us that are traumatizing. It's incredible.

1:00:02🔗 Adam Yeah. This guy's slinging joint compound all day. First, the joint compound goes on, then the topping.

1:00:10🔗 Drew Sounds...

1:00:11🔗 Adam Exciting.

1:00:12🔗 Drew Exciting.

1:00:13🔗 Adam I use a fiberglass mesh tape, but the old school guys, they'll use the paper tape. I swear by it.

1:00:19🔗 Drew Why?

1:00:20🔗 Adam Now, you know, it doesn't crack as easily, it doesn't show the seams.

1:00:23🔗 Drew So why don't you use that?

1:00:24🔗 Adam You gotta tape all the... I'll tell you why, you know why?

1:00:27🔗 Drew Why?

1:00:27🔗 Adam Because drywall tape is not tape, it's just a roll of paper. It's a roll of thick paper, and you have to put the mud on first, and then you stick the paper to the mud, and then you put another course of mud on. Whereas the fiberglass tape is adhesive-backed, and you just stick it to the seams.

1:00:40🔗 Drew So basically, you're saying you're just one of those schlocky guys. You're schlocky. You've cut corners.

1:00:45🔗 Adam Well, I'm realistic. Yeah. You know, these guys wear stilts.

1:00:49🔗 Drew By the way, Kathy Griffin was still upset at you for criticizing her house.

1:00:53🔗 Adam Well, it needed some work. I don't trust the guy who built that house.

1:00:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:59🔗 Adam I look at a house, I get an idea.

1:01:01🔗 Drew Is it safe for earthquake and things?

1:01:03🔗 Adam Yeah, it'd probably be all right. Who knows? I look, I don't like masonry is bad for earthquakes, Drew.

1:01:10🔗 Drew That's all he needs to know. She doesn't like masonry, does she?

1:01:12🔗 Adam Yeah. All.

1:01:13🔗 Drew What?

1:01:13🔗 Adam Sarah?

1:01:14🔗 Drew It seems like it's all rock and steel and stuff.

1:01:16🔗 Adam Everything. Rock and steel. That's masonry.

1:01:19🔗 Drew Oh, I think of like cement being masonry.

1:01:21🔗 Adam No. Well, that's too. That's too. Sarah?

1:01:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:25🔗 Adam You're 20?

1:01:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:27🔗 Adam What's up?

1:01:30🔗 Caller I'm a four and a half year old, and she has caught me and my boyfriend having sex a few times. And like, I mean, she used to like, sometimes like we'd actually like wake her up and stuff, but like, you know.

1:01:43🔗 Drew Hey, Sarah, Sarah, a few times? Come on.

1:01:46🔗 Okay, well, like, okay.

1:01:48🔗 Drew Mommy?

1:01:49🔗 Adam Mommy.

1:01:50🔗 Caller Well, I live in a small apartment in Staten Island.

1:01:52🔗 Drew No, I understand. I understand it's difficult, but for God sakes.

1:01:55🔗 Caller Okay, like, we'll put them to bed, and it'll be like two hours after they're in bed, and like we'll think like they're asleep, and my daughter has since like waked back up, but like the other night, like, we were on the couch, and like we were out there, and you know, and she like, all of a sudden, like, we like got down, looked up, and she was down the hall, like with the bedroom door closed.

1:02:13🔗 Drew Why in the world would you have sex in the, in the, why would you do that?

1:02:18🔗 Caller It was almost like spur of the moment things, you know.

1:02:20🔗 Drew She's 20. She had a kid who was four. She had a kid when she was 16. This is why young people shouldn't have kids. This is a good example of being unable to manage your own behavior in front of a child. It's incredible.

1:02:31🔗 Caller It's like later on in the night, like wake up and set them up.

1:02:34🔗 Drew Hey, Sarah, you need to be in a room with three locks on it and clear the child can't hear you.

1:02:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:41🔗 Drew That's it. That's it.

1:02:43🔗 Caller But like my worry is like, you know.

1:02:44🔗 Drew Sarah, that's it.

1:02:46🔗 Adam Yeah, but I was like, anyway.

1:02:48🔗 Caller Okay, that's fine. It's like drunk girl. What I'm wondering is how is this going to have an effect on her?

1:02:55🔗 Adam Oh, who cares at this point, Sarah?

1:02:58🔗 Caller This is like this.

1:03:00🔗 Adam This is really like asking if if the if the right front tire is going to be okay on a car that's just been totaled. Oh, who cares? You know, you had the kid when you're 16. God knows where biological dad is. You got a succession of boyfriends coming over and boinking on the sofa. She's caught you numerous times.

1:03:19🔗 Caller He's been off since she was a baby.

1:03:21🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:21🔗 Drew All this guy.

1:03:23🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:23🔗 Drew I luck thinks it's OK to do it in front of kids.

1:03:26🔗 Caller And that's just we don't like the bedroom door because I'm like, usually like I'm not close, Sarah, not close.

1:03:31🔗 Drew Locked with a barrel bolt.

1:03:33🔗 Adam You got a lock. No, no, you're never going to get one.

1:03:37🔗 Caller Here's the one.

1:03:38🔗 Drew Please yell at her.

1:03:38🔗 Adam Yeah, well, here's here. Let me explain about wishing for things. There's no genie that comes over and changes the batteries and the smoke detector. There's no genie that puts a three dollar barrel goddamn bolt on your door. There's no genie for any of this stuff. They don't put air in your car tiles and do anything. Even I could sit around and wish for it.

1:03:57🔗 Drew Just go get one. I could handle putting a barrel bolt in. I could handle that.

1:03:59🔗 Adam Go to the supermarket. Go down the little aisle that has like the string and the crescent ranch and the thumbtacks and go get a little barrel bolt and put that little lock on your bedroom door.

1:04:13🔗 Drew And do not have sex anywhere but in that locked room. Yeah. Now, we're... Oh, Sarah, please.

1:04:20🔗 Adam Look, Sarah, look, what do you want? What do you think the kid's gonna do?

1:04:24🔗 Drew Well, whatever you've done, you've done. And you can prevent it.

1:04:26🔗 Caller Yeah, and I'm like, I don't, I mean...

1:04:28🔗 Drew Yeah, well, you're gonna keep traumatizing her? You're gonna keep doing it?

1:04:30🔗 Caller No, I don't want to. It's just like, I don't want to...

1:04:33🔗 Adam I know, I know, but you...

1:04:35🔗 Caller If I can avoid it, never.

1:04:36🔗 Adam Well, if you can, well, it'd be great if you could go out and get a $2.59 barrel bolt, put it on your bedroom door and limit your sex while your child is home to your bedroom. But that's impossible. So there's really nothing we can do. Yeah. Here's the deal, baby. We're being tough on you because you're a mother. You're a mother.

1:04:57🔗 Caller I completely understand. I just don't want her to end up being more like me because...

1:05:02🔗 Adam Yeah, well, look.

1:05:04🔗 Drew Magically you've created that.

1:05:05🔗 Adam You shouldn't have crapped her out when you were 16 if you didn't want that to happen.

1:05:08🔗 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:05:10🔗 Drew But whatever you've done, you've done, but you've got to prevent further injury. Yeah, and it's reasonable to talk to your child if she has any questions about the fact that this is what we do when we love somebody and it's not dangerous. But do not launch into any sort of plumbing lesson. Just to give her an oppor- No, and I don't want to, but like I think that is-

1:05:31🔗 Caller Listen to me.

1:05:31🔗 Drew Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, Sarah. Please listen.

1:05:34🔗 Caller Okay.

1:05:34🔗 Drew Okay. Just give her an opportunity to, in a comfortable way, be able to come to you with troubling questions and just answer them very straightforwardly, okay? And get a goddamn barrel bolt for your bedroom and have sex all in your bedroom with the door locked. Quietly.

1:05:51🔗 Adam And tell she's in high school, but the good news is she'll be in high school and you'll be 31.

1:05:56🔗 Caller Oh, I know. I'm-

1:05:57🔗 Adam So, actually, I exaggerated. You'll be 30. She'll be in high school. It'll be awesome. All right. So do that. And what's this guy do for a living and why aren't you married?

1:06:10🔗 Caller He installs carpet with somebody who's paid like to McNair to help install carpet.

1:06:16🔗 Adam Let me check my laminate. Oh, it's not even. Oh, it's the other side for carpet install.

1:06:23🔗 Drew Wow.

1:06:23🔗 Caller He went to school for welding, but it's really hard to go to school for cars.

1:06:26🔗 Adam Let me-

1:06:26🔗 Drew wait, wait. He was going to school for a while?

1:06:28🔗 Caller He went to school for welding for a couple of years.

1:06:32🔗 Caller But his eyes got way, way worse because he has a-

1:06:34🔗 Adam Welding.

1:06:36🔗 Drew He moved up the scale.

1:06:39🔗 Adam Here's the thing. The guy went to welding school. The guy lays carpet. He can't figure out how to put a barrel bolt. And look, Sarah, I'm telling you, I know I'm being hard on you. But when you say stuff and this is that chick thing, and this is why you guys get 70 cents or a dollar, which I think is way too much. I'm insulted by. I wish I could have a lock on my door. What do you mean, you wish?

1:07:03🔗 Caller Well, like, I mean, I live in an apartment. Can you just change out the door knob?

1:07:07🔗 Drew It's not a door knob. It's just a little thing. You just little thing you just tack onto the door.

1:07:11🔗 Adam Never never been to a bathroom at a filling station or something that had that little little slide latch thing.

1:07:19🔗 Caller I like the little I have one of those on my front door, like a little like a little hook, like a little.

1:07:23🔗 Drew The hook.

1:07:24🔗 Adam Not the chain, not the chain one.

1:07:27🔗 Drew It's just a little little bar.

1:07:28🔗 Adam You never been to a bathroom. You ever seen a door?

1:07:31🔗 Caller I wonder what you're talking about. Okay, yeah.

1:07:33🔗 Drew You see that it locks down, you flip it up and slide it across.

1:07:35🔗 Adam It's called a barrel bolt.

1:07:37🔗 Caller Okay.

1:07:37🔗 Drew You get a barrel bolt block, lock and you just clip it on there and you're good.

1:07:41🔗 Adam That's right. That's right.

1:07:42🔗 Drew It's a four year old. She's not going to break the door screw.

1:07:45🔗 Adam She could put her shoulder into it. Do the shoulder roll come up like the SWAT team?

1:07:50🔗 Drew Wow. Oh my. I need to meditate on this. Let's take a break.

1:07:54🔗 Adam Just everyone really break down the part where she said, I wish I could put a lock on my arm.

1:07:59🔗 Drew Did you feel the resistance to what we were saying?

1:08:01🔗 Adam Yes.

1:08:01🔗 Drew It was like brick wall.

1:08:03🔗 Adam Yeah. Look everybody. I know we sound like a-holes, may we are. This is why you don't have kids at that age, and this is why you shouldn't be raising kids at that age, and this is why I consider it a form of abuse.

1:08:18🔗 Drew Yes, yes. Yes, yes.

1:08:21🔗 Adam I look at it as a form of abuse, the same way I would look at it, I would not let a eight-year-old raise a puppy alone. Let the eight-year-old figure out when to feed the puppy, whether to take it in to get it shots, whether to take it to the vet, whether to have it spayed or neutered. Would anyone consider that? This is basically the same thing, a 16-year-old with a human being, much worse, in my mind, but just as bad. Now, when you factor in the part that only stupid people are cranking out, kids at 16, now you've gone for the goddamn frying pan into the fire. Okay, these Jews, Drew.

1:09:02🔗 Drew I know it's tough.

1:09:04🔗 Adam Bet a lot of them tonight. I never like to bring religion into it, but I know a Jew when I hear one.

1:09:09🔗 Drew Didn't you talk some Asians, too?

1:09:11🔗 Adam Asians and Jews. This is all they do, Drew. I know one when I hear one. I don't know if that's racist. Well, then so be it. I know one when I hear one. That other chick who was living in Bakersfield who was being abused. Suicidal mom, drug addict dad. I know one when I hear one. Alright, let's take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, buddy, it's Loveline, man. That's Dr. Drew.

1:09:49🔗 Drew Hey, Adam. On your laminate there, what does it say is the, do we call these professions, the activity?

1:09:55🔗 Adam Well, I call them the trades.

1:09:57🔗 Drew The trade that is most likely to be associated with drug addiction. Because the carpet-laying thing always smacks of that to me.

1:10:05🔗 Adam All trades, all the trades, as I call it, the carpenters, the roofers, drywallers, cement guys, it's all heavy, heavily laden with addiction.

1:10:15🔗 Caller No, I know it is, but some really, well, I mean, Roofer way up there.

1:10:21🔗 Drew That's alcoholic though, right? Yeah, it's got a fricking beer in the sun.

1:10:25🔗 Caller Speed, speed's good for roofers too.

1:10:28🔗 Drew I just think that the guy would kick in the carpet thing and those guys seem like just, I think, pot. When I see those guys.

1:10:34🔗 Adam Yeah, here's the problem. It's when you smoke pot, this is the last thing you want to do.

1:10:41🔗 Drew But it seems like they need novelty because it's so repetitive and so monotonous. It's what activates that novelty in their brain.

1:10:48🔗 Adam It's all repetitive and monotonous. I mean, all that stuff. I got high a couple of times before I started swinging a hammer and it was miserable.

1:10:57🔗 Drew When you fell off the scaffolding?

1:10:59🔗 Adam No, that was someone else who was high who built the scaffolding that I fell off.

1:11:02🔗 Drew There you go. There you go.

1:11:03🔗 Adam But I used to work with some guys, they'd want to like toke out. It's 6.55 in the morning or something.

1:11:11🔗 Drew And then drive you somewhere.

1:11:13🔗 Adam No, no, that's when we're at work.

1:11:14🔗 Oh, oof.

1:11:16🔗 Adam You know, I used to work seven to four.

1:11:18🔗 Drew That just sounds painful to me. It's the non-addict talking.

1:11:21🔗 Adam When you're stoned at 7-A.

1:11:23🔗 Drew Don't you want to go back to bed?

1:11:27🔗 Adam Look, here's the deal. When you're banked and there's a huge pile of drywall outside a house, someone tells you, yeah, put 26 sheets in the master bedroom, 11 sheets in the downstairs hall, and then three in the green board, the master bath. And you're like, I'm stoned.

1:11:40🔗 Caller I can't move.

1:11:42🔗 Adam I would, you'd be doing it for what seemed like forever. And you'd be like, what time is it? It's 7.52.

1:11:49🔗 Caller And you're like, what?

1:11:51🔗 Adam When's lunch? I mean, it was just horrible. Then we hung.

1:11:54🔗 Drew Let me see, but that's probably, it sounds painful to do that to yourself.

1:11:57🔗 Adam Painful.

1:11:57🔗 Yeah.

1:11:58🔗 Adam Hung drywall, went right over all the light sockets and everything that we're in the world with the switches. Yeah.

1:12:04🔗 Good times.

1:12:05🔗 Drew But you're not an addict, a marijuana addict though, cause the addict will feel enlivened by the pot, just alive, rich, you know.

1:12:13🔗 Adam Yeah, look, I like getting stoned as much as the next guy, but it's 7 a.m. on a construction site. No way. David?

1:12:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:12:21🔗 Adam You're 20?

1:12:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:12:23🔗 Adam It's nice. I worked around a lot of nice chaps that wanted to get high. They do some blow too.

1:12:29🔗 That's good.

1:12:30🔗 Adam Yeah, it's awesome.

1:12:31🔗 Drew They're the hand of the circular saw after that. There you go. Go.

1:12:35🔗 Yeah.

1:12:36🔗 Caller What's up?

1:12:38🔗 Okay, here's the deal. I've been seeing my girlfriend for just over a year now, and everything's going fine. We're really into each other. Sex is good, all that. And we've been thinking, well, I've been toying with the idea of like going online with her and doing this sort of like adult like webcam streaming thing where people pay like a permanent rate to watch you like, you know, they come into your room and they can watch you basically do whatever you want. You know, like they kind of instruct you and while they're paying for you, if there are minutes, like, you know, you.

1:13:08🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:13:09🔗 Drew So what's the question?

1:13:10🔗 Adam That sounds healthy.

1:13:12🔗 I've been pushing the idea and she's kind of hesitant, but she's willing to try it. And I'm just like, I'm just wondering if it's kind of like mess up our, you know, our regular sex life and if it's like, we're like, I'm going to she's going to kind of resent me for it.

1:13:25🔗 Drew Or yes, yes, she will. She will resent you.

1:13:27🔗 Adam Yes, especially when her dad's on the end of the computer. Oh, that'd be great. You know, I like to do I like to go on one of those web things and just be I just type in. Here's here's your next instruction. Pull your rod out of my daughter. Ever put some pants on and don't move. I'm going to be there in 20 minutes with a rifle. It'd be fun. Just do that randomly to people like I freak everyone out. How does that how does that work, David? I don't know enough about the computer. How do they instruct you?

1:13:59🔗 Caller You can walk out like an entire state. So I could block out, you know, where our parents live and where we live now and all that stuff. So there's not really much shot of like someone that we know catching us, because, you know, I really only know people.

1:14:11🔗 Drew I think of the great diplomats and ambassadors of Goodwill through all time.

1:14:15🔗 Adam Right.

1:14:15🔗 Drew Who would David represent?

1:14:16🔗 Adam Yeah. And David...

1:14:19🔗 Caller It's good extra money and it's just like...

1:14:21🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute.

1:14:22🔗 Caller Hold on.

1:14:23🔗 Adam Now, wait a minute. Now, hold on a second. How do they communicate with you what they want you to do?

1:14:28🔗 Drew How do you see it while you're...

1:14:29🔗 Caller It's like it's kind of like a chat room and one person comes in at a time and they just... There's like a live webcam that's set up in our house.

1:14:37🔗 Drew Yeah, but do you have to walk over?

1:14:38🔗 Adam How do they communicate with you? Do you have to read it off the computer?

1:14:42🔗 Caller No, no, no. It's right in front of you. On my screen, it would just be what they're typing. On their screen, they can see our camera.

1:14:47🔗 Drew We understand that, David, but when you're having sex, how do you see that?

1:14:51🔗 Caller How can I see it?

1:14:53🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

1:14:54🔗 Caller Okay.

1:14:55🔗 Drew All right. Here we go. Boy, this is a weird night.

1:14:57🔗 Adam David is like... He's Anvil dumb.

1:15:00🔗 Drew But that's all we're talking to you tonight.

1:15:01🔗 Adam He's just like a... I've met mortars and pestles that were smarter than David.

1:15:07🔗 Drew Anvil.

1:15:09🔗 Adam He's Anvil dumb.

1:15:10🔗 Drew You're cracking our new engineer Marcus up. You're cracking him up.

1:15:12🔗 Adam He's like a goddamn Anvil. You just keep pounding on him. It just... He won't change his shape. The horseshoe changes. He ain't changing. All right, David. So they type it in the screen.

1:15:25🔗 Caller Yeah. So basically, you can watch what we're doing through the camera that I have.

1:15:29🔗 Adam I'm hip. I'm hip.

1:15:30🔗 Caller I'm hip to that part.

1:15:33🔗 Adam It's just... It's just what feels like two days ago, you said they're able to instruct you as to what they want you to do. And I just wanted to know how that instruction was passed for.

1:15:43🔗 Drew How you read that while you were in a section.

1:15:45🔗 Caller It's like an Instagram message. You're like AOL kind of, you know, you're reading...

1:15:48🔗 Drew David.

1:15:48🔗 Adam David.

1:15:48🔗 Drew David.

1:15:49🔗 Adam I understand. I understand. The question was... It just... It comes in the form of text on your computer screen.

1:15:55🔗 Drew Now, the question is, you're having sex. How do you read a goddamn computer screen?

1:16:00🔗 Adam It's basically...

1:16:00🔗 Caller It's just right in front of you. You kind of... They just instruct you, you got to kind of be in front of your monitor. Yeah. You got to...

1:16:05🔗 Caller You got to have sex in front of the camera.

1:16:07🔗 Adam All right. So, they... Now, how much money can you make?

1:16:12🔗 Caller Well, I mean, a lot of money. Like, it's extra money. I mean, I've talked to people who do it on that website. And like, I've talked to just, you know, like couples that do it. And they say, working about six hours a day, they can pull in another, like, thousand bucks a week.

1:16:26🔗 Caller Hold on.

1:16:28🔗 Adam Six hours a day every day? A thousand?

1:16:31🔗 Drew That's a full-time job.

1:16:33🔗 Caller Well, yeah, but I mean, I'm not going to do it that much, but just to have extra cash. I mean, I'm a full-time student. She works full-time and it would be a nice substitute for me, you know, like, David. I have a job.

1:16:45🔗 Caller Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.

1:16:48🔗 Adam Full-time student.

1:16:50🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, you want to check? Where's that junior college t-shirt I got? You never wear that.

1:16:57🔗 Adam I'm going to wear it.

1:16:58🔗 Drew Okay.

1:16:59🔗 Adam It's a little snuggly on me. It shows my nipples. They're sensitive though. David? Yeah. Please do not swear on the air. This is not when you're on a sexual webcast. Okay. All right. You go to junior college?

1:17:17🔗 Caller No, I go to a university.

1:17:19🔗 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. All right. But in Arizona?

1:17:24🔗 Caller Yes.

1:17:25🔗 Drew Arizona State.

1:17:25🔗 Adam Arizona State?

1:17:28🔗 Drew Uh-oh.

1:17:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:17:29🔗 Caller Yes.

1:17:30🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. That's a four-year, two-year college.

1:17:34🔗 Caller Four-year, yeah.

1:17:37🔗 Adam That's really what they should call themselves.

1:17:39🔗 Drew Four-year junior college?

1:17:40🔗 Adam Just four-year, two-year college. I think people just stand in front of the sign drooling. All right. David, I don't recommend this. Okay. I'll tell you why. I, it's your girlfriend.

1:17:53🔗 Drew It's your girlfriend. You're exploiting her. She will feel resentful. You may one day want to have a job where this comes back to haunt you or her. Who knows? You're a college student. Come on. By the way, just a curiosity, is there a site that sort of enlists you or do you have to set up your own site?

1:18:09🔗 Caller It's a site where they list you. But I mean, it's pretty secure. Like there are a lot of like, I mean, you can, it's hard for it to come back.

1:18:17🔗 Drew Well, Adam, guess what? He's got to do it.

1:18:20🔗 Caller I don't know why he's calling.

1:18:22🔗 Adam Look, here's the deal. If your girlfriend does not want to do it, you cannot talk her into it. She will resent you. Here's, let me explain how chicks work. Chicks don't work like guys. Guys do stuff and guys get angry and they get resentful, they get hostile, or they get hurt, or they get whatever in the moment. When a guy comes up and tries to do something to another guy, the guy who it's being done to, lets them know about it right away.

1:18:50🔗 Caller Yes.

1:18:51🔗 Adam Women are fine with it in the moment, then they drive home, then they get home, then next thing you know, they're taking that rape bath.

1:18:58🔗 Drew Yes.

1:18:59🔗 Adam They're crying, they're ashamed, now they're resentful.

1:19:02🔗 Caller Yes.

1:19:03🔗 Adam Then they call up, they're filled with anger, they freak out on you. That's where all this rape stuff comes around. That's where the stuff comes where, she was laughing, she was in a good time, was consensual, and the next day the cops show up at your house because she had time to think about it. Whatever the woman's attitude is when it's actually going down, does not reflect or mirror at all what her attitude could be 24 hours later. Correct. That's the one she's sticking with. She never goes back to the other one.

1:19:32🔗 Drew No.

1:19:32🔗 Adam That's the one, ironically, the one she didn't have when whatever was going down is the one she'll remain with and haunt you with the rest of her life.

1:19:41🔗 Drew Ladies, percolate, they percolate on stuff.

1:19:44🔗 Adam Yes. It's how wine, it's how grape juice turns into wine.

1:19:50🔗 Drew Crockpot.

1:19:51🔗 Adam It did not, it started off as grape juice. Now you're getting ass-faced off it.

1:19:56🔗 Drew And by the way, it's not going back to grape juice.

1:19:59🔗 Adam No. It just goes to bad wine.

1:20:02🔗 Caller Right. It never goes back to grapes.

1:20:05🔗 Adam That's right. It goes to vinegar. Yeah. Ironically, the stuff douche is made of, Drew. Powerful stuff.

1:20:11🔗 Drew It's got to be. I got to think about that for a couple of things.

1:20:14🔗 Adam That's heavy.

1:20:14🔗 Drew There's got to be something very deep in that.

1:20:16🔗 Adam Heavy.

1:20:19🔗 Drew Stephen?

1:20:19🔗 Adam Stephen?

1:20:21🔗 Drew Fifteen. Stephen? Last rated liver?

1:20:26🔗 Adam Hello? What is your name? Stephen.

1:20:29🔗 Drew Stephen.

1:20:30🔗 Adam Okay. No, hold on a second.

1:20:32🔗 Drew That's Stephen would be A-N.

1:20:34🔗 Adam Stephen is A-N.

1:20:35🔗 Drew Yeah, and usually with F's even.

1:20:38🔗 Caller No.

1:20:39🔗 Drew Stephen?

1:20:40🔗 Adam No, I don't think that's with an F.

1:20:43🔗 Drew It can't be.

1:20:43🔗 Adam That's pretty gay. S-T-E-F-F-A-N.

1:20:47🔗 It's probably a fake name because he told Patty, Stephen.

1:20:51🔗 Caller Oh, really?

1:20:53🔗 Drew Well, if his name were Stephen, how would he spell it?

1:20:55🔗 Caller Let's ask him that.

1:20:57🔗 He also spelled it for her.

1:21:00🔗 Adam And he said his name is Stephen.

1:21:01🔗 She's over here yelling, Stephen, Stephen. He said Stephen.

1:21:04🔗 Adam He just said your name is Stephen to our phone screen, but you said your name is Stephen to us.

1:21:08🔗 Caller Well, I go by both.

1:21:09🔗 You're a liar.

1:21:10🔗 Caller All right.

1:21:11🔗 Adam Anderson calls you a liar.

1:21:14🔗 Caller He's a liar.

1:21:15🔗 Adam Oh, now I say good day.

1:21:18🔗 Caller It's S-T-E-P-H-E-N. So I don't know. All right.

1:21:22🔗 Drew Anyway.

1:21:22🔗 Adam All right. Let me just say something. S-T-E-V-E-N. Not going to cover it for Stephen?

1:21:30🔗 Drew Wait, wait.

1:21:30🔗 Adam By the way, we need an ultra confusion. Confusing version of it.

1:21:34🔗 Drew You should be like, you should be praising this guy because people pronounce it both ways he goes with it.

1:21:38🔗 Adam I said Stephen and he corrected me.

1:21:41🔗 Drew I say good day.

1:21:42🔗 Adam I said good day, sir. We wouldn't be getting into this if I didn't call him Stephen and he didn't correct me.

1:21:48🔗 Caller You're right.

1:21:50🔗 Drew You're right.

1:21:51🔗 Caller All right.

1:21:52🔗 Adam All I'm saying is, is do we need, I almost dropped the F word, I'm so mad. How many goddamn pronunciations do we need for every goddamn name?

1:21:59🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:22:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:01🔗 Adam We can't, we can't just agree on a Stephen. And here's my thing. Stephen is spelled one way and then Stefan, A-N-P-H-A-N. It's another name. It's another word. You can't just spell it the same as the other one and go, no, no, this one's pronounced this way. You can't do it. I've never, I'm the only one who seems to care about this stuff.

1:22:23🔗 Drew Yes, lots of things you're the only one who cares. Okay, Stefan, Stephen, what's the question?

1:22:29🔗 Caller Yeah, about a year ago, I lived here in Bremerton and-

1:22:32🔗 Drew Oh, of course, you know the Bremerton's over by-

1:22:34🔗 Adam Yeah, by the old mill?

1:22:35🔗 Drew Willington.

1:22:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:36🔗 Adam Yeah, by Willington?

1:22:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:38🔗 Adam Yeah, okay.

1:22:39🔗 Caller Well, we were going down by the shipyard and we got a car-

1:22:43🔗 Adam Yeah, by the shipyard?

1:22:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:45🔗 Adam You got a car accident, what happened?

1:22:46🔗 Caller Well, I got a last, I was in the front passenger seat, I got a laceration on my liver and I've been playing football since I was little and at the hospital, they told me that I couldn't play football again because it has that opportunity to open up again if-

1:23:03🔗 Drew It's true, it's true.

1:23:06🔗 Caller But then I went back to the doctors for a check-up with my doctor at the Navy Hospital and he told me that it'd be okay if I played football after a surgery.

1:23:15🔗 Adam Well, you got to listen to the doctor who tells you what you want to do.

1:23:20🔗 Drew Listen to the surgeons. They would be better equipped. Whoever the surgeon was, the repair of the liver?

1:23:25🔗 Caller Yeah. They gave me some painkillers and stuff and I went to sleep or whatever. They showed it and they did this.

1:23:35🔗 Drew All right, Stephen. Stephen, Stefan, here's the deal. The surgeon who did the repair will be in a better position to give you advice on this. The reality is you probably will be at some risk of something recurring, but the liver is tucked way up under the rib cage. It's unlikely to get the kind of an injury that would cause this to result.

1:23:53🔗 Adam Also, you could get one of those flak jackets that quarterbacks wear and stuff. You can get an extra piece of equipment.

1:23:59🔗 Drew Good idea.

1:23:59🔗 Adam What position you play, champ?

1:24:01🔗 Caller Running back.

1:24:02🔗 Oof.

1:24:03🔗 Adam Sometimes they take some hits. How about you get one of those quarterback flak jackets?

1:24:09🔗 Caller All right. Yeah, I was just confused because after I went for my regular checkup, they have checkups on you like every month. Yeah. So I got a different doctor because my doctor was out and he said that I wouldn't be able to play. So I'm confused because they keep saying I will and I won't and I will and I won't.

1:24:29🔗 Drew Well, I could see where doctors would tell you not to and would not want to take the responsibility for putting you even potentially in harm's way. Go talk to the surgeon that did the surgery and you and he or she decide what you're going to do.

1:24:43🔗 Adam Oh, they told the ace man he couldn't play.

1:24:45🔗 Drew With the shoulder.

1:24:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:47🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:24:47🔗 Adam When I was 12, I said, good day.

1:24:49🔗 Hey, you guys know that song Detachable Penis?

1:24:52🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:24:52🔗 The Stephen Stevens sounds just like this singer.

1:24:55🔗 Adam Exactly.

1:24:56🔗 Caller Exactly like it.

1:24:58🔗 Adam No, you know what I did notice is I was when he was with the last part of his question when he was talking, I was thinking, oh, my God, this is so familiar and it's the part where he's talking about going to the kiosk and he saw his penis and the guy wanted 21 bucks for but he talked him down to 17. He sounded exactly like that guy, but I couldn't place it other than this is amazingly familiar.

1:25:25🔗 Drew Would I ask him to repeat that script? No.

1:25:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:30🔗 Adam He'll screw that up. Hey, can you find detachable penis Anderson?

1:25:36🔗 Now that Brian's gone, it might be tough.

1:25:40🔗 Caller All right.

1:25:40🔗 Adam Well, here's the thing. Here's your job. You got to match the detachable penis song to Stephen Don't Call Me Steven's Voice. That was the guy in that band.

1:25:50🔗 Caller It's like something wrong.

1:25:51🔗 Adam King Missile.

1:25:52🔗 Caller So actually, they get it.

1:25:53🔗 Adam Marcus says on their playlist, Marcus says King Missile.

1:25:57🔗 Caller He's right.

1:25:58🔗 Caller All right.

1:25:58🔗 Caller So we're to get it.

1:25:59🔗 Adam You've learned. OK, you say good day. You are.

1:26:06🔗 Caller All right.

1:26:06🔗 Adam You got Stephen's voice recorded.

1:26:10🔗 Drew Yeah, I can go back and get it.

1:26:11🔗 Caller Are you pulling you pull that?

1:26:12🔗 Adam All right. You talk to him.

1:26:13🔗 Drew I'm going to record the words.

1:26:15🔗 Adam We'll get we'll get we'll get a little detachable penis. This is never going to work. I swear I'll make it work. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back with detachable penis after this.

1:26:41🔗 Caller Yeah!

1:26:42🔗 Adam A little detachable penis for you. Oh, man, that's Dr. Drew, it's Love Line. Yeah, when Anderson and I...

1:26:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:59🔗 Caller This comes in handy a lot of the time.

1:27:01🔗 Caller I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble.

1:27:07🔗 Adam Alright, now turn that down for one second. Let's see if we can get Steven. Let's give Steven a line from the song to repeat. I can't remember. My penis gets me into trouble.

1:27:26🔗 Caller They hadn't seen it either.

1:27:28🔗 Adam Steven?

1:27:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:30🔗 Drew Say, I called up the place where the party was. They haven't seen it either.

1:27:33🔗 Adam I left my apartment, and I didn't have it. I called the place where the party was, and they hadn't seen it either.

1:27:39🔗 Caller Okay, this is slightly confusing. Hold on. Okay, what do you want me to say?

1:27:43🔗 Adam See, this is going to take a while.

1:27:44🔗 Caller No, it's good. I can get it. You guys were both in two different parts.

1:27:49🔗 Adam All right, all right. No, I think you're right. Let's hear more Detachable Penis. I want you to pick up on it.

1:28:07🔗 Caller All right.

1:28:07🔗 Caller Do you just want me to sing the Detachable Penis part?

1:28:10🔗 Adam No, I want you to just do the part where he talks his way through it.

1:28:13🔗 Caller It's not going to work because he's a Loveline caller.

1:28:16🔗 Adam I could have told you that. That's why you need to pick his voice up off of tape, Anderson. But go ahead, Stephen.

1:28:24🔗 Caller A line, what do you want me to say?

1:28:30🔗 Drew There you go.

1:28:31🔗 Adam I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis.

1:28:38🔗 Caller Okay.

1:28:38🔗 Drew And go.

1:28:41🔗 Caller I was starting to get desperate. I was starting to worry about my penis.

1:28:46🔗 Drew I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis.

1:28:51🔗 Caller I was starting to get desperate. I don't like to worry without my penis.

1:28:54🔗 Drew I really don't like being without my penis.

1:28:56🔗 Caller I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis.

1:29:06🔗 Adam I know it would be like pulling teeth with one of our collars, but still sort of worth it. Let's try one more line, Stephen, just because I can't stop now. I saw my penis laying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.

1:29:51🔗 Caller I saw my penis laying there next to a broken toaster oven.

1:29:54🔗 Adam No, no, hold on.

1:29:55🔗 Drew Laying on a blanket.

1:29:58🔗 Adam Okay, hold on.

1:29:58🔗 Drew Saw my penis.

1:29:59🔗 Adam I saw my penis laying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.

1:30:05🔗 Caller I saw my penis laying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.

1:30:10🔗 Adam Wow. All right, Stephen, you got a lawsuit, boy. Okay, buddy. Thank you.

1:30:21🔗 Drew Well done.

1:30:22🔗 Caller Huh?

1:30:25🔗 Drew What was that?

1:30:27🔗 Adam I really I feel like every every sort of verbal transaction I have with the callers, a lot like taking my dog into the vet where I'm just listen, come on, Molly, just trust daddy, trust.

1:30:42🔗 Caller Come on.

1:30:43🔗 Adam No, no, it's good. And you're still pulling them, just dragging them, sort of dragging them and they don't know what's going on. And they think maybe they're being hurt or being put into an oven or something. But it's okay. The nice man wants to help you. No, I know the little needle hurts, but that's because you got worms. You know what I'm saying?

1:30:59🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:31:00🔗 Caller All right.

1:31:03🔗 Adam I knew just us explaining to your voice sounded exactly like this other guy from the song wouldn't nearly do enough. And I'm not sure if Stephen, don't call me Stephen, will ever have any idea of what just happened. Transpired here. Yeah, let's hear the rest of the song as long as we're here.

1:31:35🔗 Caller Sounds like Steven, right?

1:31:37🔗 Caller You love it, right?

1:31:43🔗 Adam Yeah, it's so sad that Anderson noticed that.

1:31:47🔗 Caller Mike?

1:31:48🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:31:49🔗 Adam You're 18 years old.

1:31:50🔗 Drew Speaking of detachable penises.

1:31:52🔗 Adam Wow, you want to introduce a strap-on in your foreplay.

1:31:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:57🔗 Drew Is that for her to use on you or you to use?

1:32:01🔗 Caller Yeah, that would be correct.

1:32:03🔗 Drew For her to use on you.

1:32:05🔗 Adam In the rectal area?

1:32:07🔗 Caller Yeah. Wow.

1:32:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:32:12🔗 Caller Okay.

1:32:15🔗 Adam I'm not going to play the gay card just yet, but I am going to say that at 18, why the thrill-seeking? Have you guys been going at it since you were 14? Or isn't just straight sex good enough?

1:32:31🔗 Caller Actually, my first sexual experience was with the guy when I was 14.

1:32:35🔗 Adam Well, I got sort of two out of three.

1:32:38🔗 Drew There you go. Well, that's kind of screw with your orientation.

1:32:42🔗 Adam What happened there?

1:32:45🔗 Caller Truth or Dare gone awry, I guess.

1:32:47🔗 Drew How old was the guy?

1:32:49🔗 Caller He was my age.

1:32:51🔗 Drew By the way, no, no, no. There's no truth or dare game on earth.

1:32:54🔗 Adam That no, that like whatever. Look, here's here's here's the thing. This may lead you down a path that you don't want to go down, but maybe it's the one he's meant to go to, or maybe it's the one to go down, which case get a guy. Yeah, I'm going to vote nay on the strap on.

1:33:16🔗 Drew Okay, I say good day.

1:33:17🔗 Adam I say good day.

1:33:18🔗 Caller We'll be back.

1:33:20🔗 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:33:22🔗 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person. Call the Dateline.

1:33:27🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:30🔗 Drew Call the dateline. Yeah, I mean, no, I mean, yeah, I mean, good day.

1:33:47🔗 Adam I mean, good day.

1:33:48🔗 Caller I said good day.

1:33:49🔗 Adam Dave Matthews in here tomorrow night.

1:33:52🔗 Drew That's gonna be good.

1:33:52🔗 Adam That's gonna be good. And we'll look forward to that. So until next time, is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:33:59🔗 Caller I saw my penis laying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.

1:34:06🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:34:18🔗 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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