0:57🔗
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.
1:21🔗
Voiceover
Almost. It's Dr. Drew anyway. It is, in fact, Loveline. The phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And we are having a few technical problems, so I'm going to ask you guys to bear with us. Anderson will be part of the show tonight because he's going to be the one plotting up the calls. And some of the calls I may not even be able to see. Yes, of course. The nimble-fingered one. And tonight, I have the pleasure of joining me, of introducing Matt Money Smith.
1:46🔗
Drew
Those of you that are not from the Southern California area may not know Money. He is the sports announcer from the Morning Show team here at the Mothership KROQ in Los Angeles. He's also the music director here, which I've got a million questions about, really. That must be an interesting job.
1:59🔗
Drew
And he has a long-standing relationship with this show, and that he used to bring, used to be a record wrangler, as we used to call him, would bring band wrangler, would bring bands in here back even before Adam was here. So you've actually been with the show longer than Adam.
2:17🔗
Drew
And how do you describe that? Because the show was not going around the country at that point, it was one of those things where, let's put it this way, there was something that was said on that show that I've repeated to my male sons. When they giggle and laugh, not laugh, when they just go crazy, berserk, dying every time they fart, one of the guys at Hagfish said, what's not funny about a fart? It comes out of your ass, it smells funny, and it sounds funny. What's not funny about that? Okay, there you go.
2:46🔗
Adam
The punk rock guys, man, they loved loveline more than anything. These guys at Hagfish, they never got to be a massive band, but there were two brothers in the band, and I used to have to go around the road with these bands and take them to different stations, do interviews, and all that sort of thing, and the two brothers would show up places naked. I would say, hey, can we meet at the bar at four o'clock? We're going to get in a van and go to the station for an interview. No problem, so you'd be standing at the bar and these two guys would be walking naked. We're ready to go.
3:13🔗
Drew
That's just like going nuts. Now, as the music director, do you get a sense of what this business is like? In other words, has the relationship between radio and music changed a lot in the last few years?
3:27🔗
Adam
No, at least not here. I think having been a record wrangler, yeah, there are a number of stations across the country. I'm sure some that Loveline are broadcast on that getting money from record companies, whether it be legitimate or not, that's part of their budget.
3:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, they find a way. I don't know if they look at it as payola because it's not going into employees' pockets. A lot of times, it's going into radio station budget. So it's almost like their income for the year, and they depend on some of that money to support, they say, to support the airplane.
3:56🔗
Drew
The station where we originate is K-Rock in Los Angeles, and it is probably the most important or powerful music radio station in the country in terms of possibly in the world establishing new music. And you sit there making those decisions about whose bands are going to live and whose are going to die, basically.
4:13🔗
Adam
I do. It's fun. I mean, especially having been around music my whole life. You know, I grew up, I went to my first punk rock show and I was in seventh grade. So it's something that's been a part of my life forever and to be in that position where, you know, it's just kind of cool to get a CD in the mail, to open it up, to listen to it and say, you know what, that's a great song. I'm going to play it for some people. If everyone feels the same way I do, it gets on the air and next thing you know.
4:33🔗
Drew
It's that simple. People think it's some sort of some sort of they get paranoid sort of ideation about how it's this elaborate process where you have to know somebody and whatever.
4:42🔗
Adam
Right. And even more so now than ever before, bands are doing it on their own. They're posting things on the web. They're using vehicles like MySpace to post their music. And we'll get emails and we'll get promoted on bands that say, hey, they've had 250,000 downloads from MySpace. And when they come to town, they sell 1,500 tickets. You need to pay attention to this band. Whereas before, I think it was more a record company or manager band relationship with the radio station. And now kids are finding music in different ways and using different vehicles. So I think more than ever, people that work on music radio stations have to pay attention to different ways the bands are getting exposed.
5:30🔗
Drew
In addition to the music, he does the sports on the morning show here in Los Angeles. And if you have questions, just the way you ask Adam Wood questions or construction questions, you can ask Money sports questions.
5:42🔗
Drew
Try to stump him. I think it would be great. Let's take some calls. Have you always wanted to do this show?
5:47🔗
Adam
For years. And a lot of times the bands will just sit on their hands and they'll be quiet and I would sit in the other room and watch them and go, man, if I could just be in there, I'd have so much more fun than they are right now.
6:03🔗
Caller
Um, last weekend, I was engaging in anal sex with my boyfriend. And after I came, I experienced a shortness of breath.
6:15🔗
Liar, liar whore, liar whore, and you know it.
6:45🔗
Caller
No, I, we were engaging in anal sex in the shower. And I was the top. And after I came, I had, uh, experienced shortness of breath and just passed out on my bed. Because I got out of the shower.
7:05🔗
Drew
Well, hyperventilation can make you pass out, just sort of having a vagal reaction. Why are you hyperventilating? Were you hyperventilating or were you short of breath?
7:11🔗
Caller
No, I was, like, hyperventilating, like, you know, why? I don't know. That's why I called you.
7:24🔗
Drew
Stop saying hyperventilation. That's just describing breathing fast. My question is, did you experience shortness of breath and that's why you breathe fast?
7:32🔗
Drew
Okay. You need to see a doctor about this. It's possible. You can put this on hold. It's possible it's a cardiac arrhythmia. You were in a shower. You might have had low blood pressure transiently. But the most serious thing that would be concerned about would be a cardiac rhythm disturbance and various kinds of rhythm problems can cause this sort of thing. It needs to be looked into.
7:50🔗
Drew
It's just a health thing. He was in a shower and that can drop the pressure more. After orgasm, something can drop even better. The activity he was engaged in makes me drop my pressure.
8:17🔗
All right.
8:22🔗
Yeah.
8:24🔗
Caller
And he's been pressuring me on having sex and I'm just, I'm not sure if I should. We've only been dating for like 4 months and I am only 13.
8:33🔗
Adam
Yes, right. Well, let's see. At 13, I think I was trading baseball cards with the kids up and down the street. So I don't have a whole lot of experience with this. I would just recommend against it. I mean, I think the first time I had sex, I was in my mid-teens and that was still way young. I was not ready for what happened and the emotions that went with it. And I was a guy and I think we get affected differently than women or young girls.
8:56🔗
Drew
Not as profoundly. Yeah. Just saying. Yeah, Chelsea, it's a horrible idea. I've never met a woman. For instance, I've never met a woman who didn't wish she'd waited longer. Didn't, in other words, or that she'd waited too long. And every woman I've ever spoken to who lost to Virginia under four, certainly under 15, had tremendous regrets about it and it had a very powerful impact on them that they couldn't really handle. So I know your boyfriend's pressure, that's kind of his job. His biology dictates that. It makes him that way. Doesn't mean you have to cave into it. It doesn't mean if you don't cave into it, he's going to somehow leave you.
9:40🔗
Adam
Do you have a song? Does he have a song for you that he plays like over the phone since you live so far apart?
9:50🔗
Drew
All right, this now is line two is Stephanie 21. Stephanie? Stephanie, call her ghost. What is it?
10:02🔗
Caller
Okay, hi. I love the show. I just wanted to let y'all know that. I was wondering, I have a question. Me and my boyfriend have been together for probably about two and a half years now. And in the beginning, our sex life was incredible. But here in the last six months or so, the sex drive, his sex drive and mine have completely, you know, mine is way higher than his. And I'm wondering if that has something to do with his age and our age difference?
10:26🔗
Drew
Oh, at 30, he's just over the, he's waiting to die at 30. I mean, guys after 30 just do not want to have sex ever.
10:41🔗
Caller
OK, well, here lately, we've been experimenting with the anal thing. And I'm not really comfortable with all that.
10:49🔗
Drew
And that's really not what I was asking. I mean, what is his rhythm? What is he asking for? How often would he like to have sex?
10:55🔗
Caller
Oh, OK. Well, I mean, I guess maybe every other day. And I'm like two or three times a day.
11:02🔗
Drew
Well, he is above normal. And you are way above normal, OK? In the sort of pathology range. And my goodness, Stephanie is either bipolar or was sexually abused when she was younger.
11:15🔗
Oh, no. I wasn't sexually abused.
11:20🔗
Adam
What's the story with sex drives? Because you always hear that women hit theirs in their mid, like early thirties, and men are in the teens.
11:27🔗
Drew
Yeah, the men at 18 years old are in a testosterone storm. Their body is being exposed to this hormone for the first time. And they are producing semen at the highest rate they've ever in their whole life. They have to have a drive towards intercourse and orgasm. That's the highest in their entire life. And it's intense. It's like a drug. It's like completely saturating their system and prioritizing taking over their thinking and what their, you know, everything is about that. For women, testosterone affects their sex drive, but they have very low levels of that circulating around until they're well into their 40s. So around 20, you know, estrogen affects more something we call receptivity. They can have a receptivity, receiving experience and feel connected. And if you hear women talk about, you know, why they were interested in having sex in their 20s, it's totally different set of priorities than for men. Men, it's because they're driven, they have to. Women, it's because, well, I want to feel accepted, I want them to like me, and I want to compete with, out-compete my friends. I mean, things that just seem, you can't even like understand it as a male. Right.
12:29🔗
Drew
If she has a drive that's well, there can be a normal spectrum of once a day kind of thing, but three time a day, and a 21 year old, it's got to be, you're into something.
12:40🔗
Drew
Well, it's not that so much as that. That's somebody who they used to call nymphomaniac because they could never seem to be satisfied. There's always need more and more and more. And pretty much you can guarantee some, either bipolarity or some kind of an abuse situation. So Stephanie, what happened?
13:35🔗
Drew
And is there bipolar illness in your family? Manic depression? No. Not that I know of. And when your folks or the people all around you were drinking, they ever do any unpleasant things with you? No.
13:46🔗
Not at all. Never?
13:50🔗
Caller
No, no one ever hit me. I mean, I've gotten to arguments and fights and screaming matches with my parents when I was younger. I mean, pushes and stuff like that, but it was never something that they had to call the cops for or anything like that.
14:13🔗
Drew
That's physical abuse, okay? That changes how your brain develops, and that changes how you relate to men. I bet that if you really think about it, you'll find a little more here too than just an occasional hit. Some other things happen, and that's what sets this drive a rolling. You put that together with the addiction chemistry, the addiction genetics, and I would bet, I bet you there's some childhood bipolar stuff here too, and you have somebody now who becomes hypersexual. And that same person, you can put her on hold, Anderson, same person will also kind of shut down at times too, or they become completely nonsexual. And this guy who's already keeping up every other day, he's doing a pretty good pace himself, gets a little freaked out by that. Men kind of pick up that this is like an acting out. It's some sort of aggression. It's in a pathology. It's like, oh, it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like a relationship. It feels like somebody's using me for something.
15:03🔗
Adam
Is that weird, too? When she said her boyfriend, she and her dad live in the same house and they have sex every other day, that's gotta be a weird dynamic.
15:10🔗
Drew
The band of music was appropriate. This is more than just subtle problems. This is big time stuff going on here.
15:19🔗
Drew
Because there's no way that it's not there. There's no way. I pretty much guarantee that some inappropriate touch here in sexual abuse is something in the best. Or maybe we find pornography. Let me talk to Stephanie again real quick. Hey, Stephanie. Stephanie? Stephanie.
15:34🔗
Drew
Hey, one of your alcoholic dads, the stepdad or the dad, they used to leave a lot of pornography out laying around?
15:43🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, yeah. When my brother would run around and find that magazine hit under his bed, my brother's like, hey, check this out.
15:59🔗
Drew
12. So Stephanie, you are in massive denial about what's going on in your family. Keep the banjo going.
16:06🔗
Drew
Yeah, it's appropriate. It may shake her free a little bit from this denial she's in. This is some heavy stuff going on and it's having an effect on you. Now, I'm not saying you're a bad person, but you're wondering why your relationship is pushing back a little bit. He sees this energy. He sees it feels wrong to him. It feels not wrong in the sense that it's improper, but wrong in the sense that it's an acting out and freaks guys out. They go into hiding. The fact that he's keeping up three or four times a week, it's pretty good.
16:41🔗
Adam
Well, that's the thing about San Antonio that drives me crazy. It's a backwoods town, but when you ask people about it, they say, ah, I love San Antonio. Well, how come? That Riverwalk, it's one strip in the entire town, but it has caused people to like San Antonio.
16:54🔗
Drew
You go there expecting nothing. You expect the Alamo, and you find this wonderful strip of like restaurants, people hang out.
17:05🔗
Drew
By the way, it's one of the, if not the, one of the most sort of, it's the largest area cities in the country. It covers the most area, but you only focus on that little quarter mile. It's not even a quarter mile, it's like 800 yards.
17:18🔗
Adam
And everyone says the same, it drives me nuts. Well, San Antonio isn't great. Like Riverwalk could be in Corpus Christi. And then Corpus Christi would be great and San Antonio would suck.
17:41🔗
Caller
Well, the reason I'm calling is because I picked up this prostitute, a typical motel room and stuff.
17:46🔗
Caller
And when she took off her clothes, I saw these little brown, purple brown spots on her body. They look like bruises to stuff. But when I asked her, she told me there were some from moving or something. But I was just wondering if there's some sort of sentence from some sort of STD or something.
18:14🔗
Caller
Like on her arm, her body, and on her air thigh, she had this patched up and stuff. Sorry, sir, what was that? She said that was a spider bite or something, and they had to cut it out and get the pus out. I don't know what it was. What would it have taken for him not to sleep with her, Linda? What would what? What would she have to have a second head growing off?
18:30🔗
Drew
Beelzebub himself would have to popped out of that pussy spot. He would have emerged and that might have slowed him down. Might not even have stopped him.
18:42🔗
Drew
Here's the deal. Those puss spots were injection sites where she was skin popping her drugs. And they get infected. They typically have them in the thighs and buttock, that area. The purple spots again, probably injecting. However, I don't know exactly what you saw. I worry that could be something called Kaposi sarcoma, which is an HIV thing.
19:14🔗
Caller
Yeah, I did wear a condom. I made out with her. Can I try to spread through the saliva or something?
19:21🔗
Drew
No, there's really not much you can get that way. Unless you have hepatitis B or something. Get your hepatitis B vaccine. Hey, cut this crap out, Zachariah. You're getting into areas. This is a dangerous path you're on. You're 21. You should be out dating.
19:37🔗
Caller
No, it's just the thing is, see, I tell myself to quit, and then I usually drive back to find them, but this time I was driving out to go to a restaurant. It was closed, and I got really angry. And I saw her walking. I was like, you know what, I might as well go try to talk to her. Then the right one, she gets in the car, and I'm like, I cannot, you know, try to tell me to say no, get out, and you know.
19:56🔗
Drew
Well, maybe it's sexual addiction. Maybe you ought to look into this a little bit. You do any other drugs or alcohol?
20:03🔗
Drew
It just worries me. It's clearly, it's kind of got you to the point where as Anderson said, nothing would stop you from doing this, even though she had clear illness, evidence of illnesses.
20:21🔗
I've heard from friends who have slept with hookers that they don't make out.
20:28🔗
That's where I saw it.
20:38🔗
Caller
Yeah. For some reason, I can't enjoy sex without making out with a girl and stuff for some reason.
20:48🔗
Adam
I got to believe the prostitute scene in Bakersfield isn't that great either. Vegas, not a bad prostitute scene, right?
21:10🔗
Adam
We did. We did bachelor parties in Las Vegas. We did Kevin's bachelor party and we did lightning. So yeah, we did quite a few guys in the show. Not a whole lot to be honest. I think it was just a lot of drinking, the typical shows, but nothing outrageous to be honest with you. The funny thing is, in Vegas, they hand you these magazines, right? If you've never been to Vegas, and you're supposed to call these numbers, and they have the picture of the girl, and they'll have her name under, let's say it's, I don't know, Candy. And you say, okay, Candy looks pretty good to me. We have a bachelor party going, we'd like her to come by. Fantastic. Candy doesn't show up. Two women look nothing like Candy to show up. And you have to engage in this conversation about how upset you are that Candy didn't show up, but it's taken two hours for these other two girls to get there, so you don't want to send them away because you don't know if it's going to take another two hours. So you end up accepting a lesser product than is in the advertisement, and it costs a fortune. It costs a couple hundred bucks to get them to walk in the room, and then they're like, okay, now we need $40 to do this. You give them $40. It's almost like a 900 number for gambling, where they say, I'm going to give you the Monday Night Football pick. All you have to do is call this number. It's absolutely free. And you call, and this person rattles on for five minutes before telling you anything. And oh, and by the way, if you missed last week's scores, this happened last week, and now it's time to punch in your credit card. And that's what happens with these people in Vegas, in these magazines. So I guess my suggestion would be, if you go to Vegas to get the prostitutes, just go to the Hard Rock. Look real dopey. Like wear a t-shirt tucked into some jeans with a belt and some Reebok sneakers that are all white. And you will be approached by women at the circle bar there, endlessly.
22:51🔗
Adam
Let's say I actually put it to the test. I'm originally from Chicago. My older brother came out with a group of people. And this, this older gentleman wasn't very attractive, was in his probably, I'd say, late 40s. And I said, I guarantee that one of these women will approach you. Here's kind of what I want you to do. You know, hang out, maybe count your chips a little bit. He had quite a bit of chips. And of course, four or five absolutely gorgeous women approach and say, what are you doing? That, you know, where are you from? And can I buy you a drink? And next thing you know, it's upstairs and there's a guy and it's a broker and a deal and it's crazy. Then you know what's funny? I think they found a loophole. They? Well, the escorts. They call themselves escorts and they make you pay them for their time with you. They want you to pay them $500 to hang out. And then they can choose whether or not they want to have sex with you. So the sex part was their choice.
23:44🔗
Adam
You paid them for their company. And they just happened to engage in some great conversation and wanted to have intercourse. That apparently is the way they're positioning this.
24:08🔗
Adam
Yeah, the Hard Rock. Well, have you ever been to the Hard Rock Casino? Have you ever noticed that very attractive?
24:14🔗
Adam
Well, see you're a good looking guy though. Have you ever noticed that women come up to you and just to say hi and they happen to be dressed to the nines and they're like, what are you doing?
24:40🔗
Drew
Oh, yeah. Corolla was the one who did most of it. He can light a fart that licks his nose.
24:53🔗
Drew
Yeah, I know. It never gets old. It is, again, one of the distinctions between men and women, that whole scatolabical thing, that just whole thing that men find so funny when they're eight and never can let go of that.
25:10🔗
Drew
All right. Hang on a second, man. We got to take a break. It's Matt Smith, Money here on K-Rock, the mothership of Loveline Los Angeles. He does the sports announcing here. He's going to leave us for the Lakers radio broadcasting. This is his farewell tour. His lifelong dream was to come on Loveline. We thought we better grant him that dream. It's like make a wish. This is Money's Make a Wish Foundation Tour. He's the music director here for a long time. If you have any questions about music or sports, he's happy to answer them. Tomorrow night, we have Jimmy Kimmel with Sarah Silverman. That will be interesting, but for the moment, we'll be taking your calls at 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1, and we will return after this.
25:52🔗
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26:19🔗
Drew
That's right, it's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Radio Guy is one of our callers just pointed out. Matt Money Smith, he's been the music director here at K-Rock Mothership. He's also on The Morning Show as the sports announcer. He can take your questions on sports or music, that's what I'm saying. In the meantime, we're taking your calls. Let's go to line six, Anderson, if we could. This is Erica 20. Hello? There you are.
26:45🔗
Caller
Hi. Hi. Hi, yeah, I was wondering why people don't like me, like they tend to like me.
26:57🔗
Caller
They like me and then they don't like me. They like, end up stabbing me in the back, particularly women.
27:05🔗
Drew
Yeah, except you're 20. Women by 20 usually can negotiate some stable relationships. There's a lot of, you know, shunning and...
27:13🔗
Drew
Yeah, women are, no one is worse to women than women. They are just horrible to each other. I'm watching with my daughter, I'm shocked.
27:20🔗
Adam
You know when I discovered that, this is gonna sound like a weird analogy, but do you remember when the Paris Hilton video came out?
27:26🔗
Adam
And everyone had to see it, right? The one thing, we were like, wow, how about that? You know, this woman, this poor girl in this video, and of course you're like, wow, she's kinda good looking. Every single woman said the same thing. She gave terrible oral, embarrassing. And I was like, that's a definition of why women are so damn catty. Of all the things to point out, they want to say, that's just a terrible job.
27:49🔗
Drew
Well, it must have been the most obvious only thing they could get at. You know what I mean?
27:56🔗
Drew
And the whole notion of a double standard between men and women, if a male has a lot, think about men and women that have sex. We were talking about that earlier, a girl that has lots of sex. Generally, if you look at young women that are having lots of sex, they tend to have very low self-esteem. If you look at young men that are having lots of sex, they tend to have very high self-esteem. And one of the contributors to that is this double standard thing. And if you sociologists have gone out and studied the double standard, men participate in creating the double standard and then totally let go of it. In other words, if they see a girl acting out there like, oh, look at that, about 80% of them will go, well, I'd like to date her.
28:34🔗
Drew
But, all right, 100% of the women go, oh, no, no, you can't do that. No, no, they go to their male friends and go, oh, no, no, she's, oh, you can't get near. They are the ones that shun the women and maintain the double standard. It's amazing. Isn't that crazy?
28:46🔗
Adam
It is, but it doesn't surprise me, because, and it's funny, too, when you find a girl that you like hanging out with, you know what I always find is a common theme between them? They have a lot of guy friends. They don't surround themselves with women. They enjoy the company of men as friends. By the way, we're going another tangent here. The platonic thing.
29:04🔗
Adam
Can women in, let's say, that are under, I don't know, between 15 and 30, can they have platonic relationships with men?
29:12🔗
Drew
Well, let me tell you my story on this one. I'm not saying that men and women cannot be good friends, and I'm not saying they shouldn't be friends or be good friends. Nobody call in and say I said that. But I will say that when it comes to friendships between men and women of reproductive age, the reason the friendship starts is because somebody was attracted and the other person didn't respond. So somebody goes up to meet that person, they're super attracted. The other person responds to them but is not attracted back. So the person who's attracted sort of settles for friendville. Now, when the woman is the person who is not responded to, she can settle in to a friendship and kind of handle it, okay? She can. That becomes a friendship. She can still harbor a torch and things get off. I mean, it's motivated by the attraction, really. And if he suddenly one day said, you know what, I'm really attracted, immediately it'll be romance. But the woman can tolerate settling in to a friendship. If the man is the one who's not being responded to, he goes in to Plan B, which is sort of creating a war room and having an action plan. And he is the best friend and he's gonna wait it out. He's like a lion waiting in the brush. I mean, men like women when they're injured. They're like easy pickings. Women, it's the opposite. If somebody's injured or, you know, like a girlfriend just broken up with them, they're like, oh, she broke up with him? Oh, I'm not interested either, forget it. Man is like a lion waiting in the brush. See that herd of buffalo going by, that one with the broken leg in the back, that's the one they're going after. So this guy waits like a lion in the brush until that night when she broke up with her boyfriend and my buddy Matt, he was such a good friend and he was there for me and I cried on his shoulder and one thing led to another. Are you kidding me? This guy's been planning that night for two and a half years waiting for that moment. Women have no idea that guys do that.
31:01🔗
Adam
And I have tried to further that theory constantly and women say, oh no, we're beyond that, we're just friends. I'm like, no, let me explain something to you.
31:11🔗
Adam
If you gave an indicator that you were interested and made a sexual advancement towards him, he would be full force.
31:17🔗
Drew
I don't even think you would make the advance if you just dropped the defense, pouncing.
31:22🔗
Drew
No, men are driven. And also, it's hard for women to really accept how men are. In fact, I've got a show on TV tonight. In fact, I forgot about this. The Discovery Health Channel, for those of you listening on the West Midnight, Discovery Health Channel, Districtly Sex, we talk about a lot of this stuff on the show. And women, it's painful for them to really accept how men are. We're very simple, very lame, and they're always the same kind of response for women too. When you sort of break through to them, how many extra are they like, no, no, it can't be, no, oh no. It can't be that, no. Yeah, for itself.
32:08🔗
Adam
No, a very smart girl too. And it's kind of the whole package, which is why I have no business being with her, but I think it was a very carefully executed plan.
32:16🔗
Drew
So you're saying, basically for those young male listeners out there who have a harbor torch for somebody specific, what, they should give a six month plan and then give up?
32:23🔗
Adam
I think I had, I was willing to go probably six months. I think it ended up taking me about three and a half, four months. But kids don't have that kind of commitment anymore. That's the thing that I've noticed. It's like you ask kids these things that have these girlfriends and they don't have a place they go, you know, it's like, my gosh, I had all these things set up, oh yeah, we're gonna go to the beach, you know, because I went to college right on the beach, so I would have these beach spots.
32:46🔗
Drew
I have no doubt what you had is you had a little mock-up of the town, you had little figures, a big stick you could push them along with, and you flanked them over here.
32:53🔗
Adam
Sure. All right, how old's your little sister? Eight? I want her in the water. When we show up, I'm going to save her life. I mean, it was elaborate.
33:04🔗
Hi, Drew.
33:06🔗
Real quick, Money, I'm looking forward to Friday and the morning show, seeing you down there in Anaheim.
33:13🔗
I had a quick question for you. I was wondering what your proudest moment on air is, having to do with sports and doing the sports show on Kevin and Bean for so long. What's your proudest moment?
33:24🔗
Adam
Well, I have been very fortunate because we are at a station that is so popular in town, it becomes a destination for anything, for movie stars or athletes that need to promote something. I think, believe it or not, my proudest moment is probably, I'm a hockey guy, and not a lot of people are hockey guys, but there's something about hockey that's-
33:44🔗
Adam
Yeah, very dear to me. It's not big here at all, but I was the first person ever to ride the Zamboni at Staples Center when they decided to let fans sit on the Zamboni machine. It's kind of one of those things, if you're a hockey guy, the Zamboni just has this mystique to it. It's this machine, if you don't know what it is, if you don't follow hockey, it's a machine that essentially smooths out the ice. It melts like the top, I don't know, 30 second of an inch to smooth it for the people that skate. And they added a seat, it's kind of the most ridiculous contraption ever. They add this seat that's like 20 feet off the ground and you're just sitting there cruising around the ice. But it was just the coolest thing in the world for me that I was able to do. But there are things in life that...
34:38🔗
Adam
I will say this, I had to follow Jimmy Kimmel. Many people may not know this, but Jimmy Kimmel was the sports guy here at K-Rock, and I had the very tough task of following him because he was so funny and great at what he did. And the first thing that happened to me when I got on the air, I came on the air in October, it was four weeks into the football season, and I think my first day was a Friday. They said, all right, give us your Super Bowl pick. Who do you like? And this is four weeks in, the football season is 16 weeks long. I said, I'm going with Tennessee Titans and St. Louis Rams, and I was mocked endlessly because I didn't take the Giants or the Packers or the 49ers, and it ended up being a St. Louis, Tennessee Super Bowl. And from that point on, I had credibility in the sports world, which is so hard to come by. So I think that was probably one of my better moments.
35:33🔗
Real quick, I had another soccer accident and my nut got all chewed up again and I was wondering about prosthetics.
35:45🔗
Drew
Wait a minute, what do you mean another soccer, have you talked to us about a previous soccer accident?
35:49🔗
I'm not, yeah, okay, I guess you guys don't remember. I'm the guy who had the soccer accident and called back and was the bogus call. But never mind now.
36:05🔗
Drew
I mean, I can't remember every bogus call. I apologize, Aaron, I just don't know what to do.
36:10🔗
Adam
Let me ask you this question about sports, because I played sports in high school and we were talking about your sons and you played sports as well. Is there something to the communal shower and kind of what it does to our brains? Because I was thinking about this the other day and how we as men are obsessed with our size. And when you get into a room, there's nothing, I don't know, there's nothing gay about it. You're just taking a shower because you stink and you check each other out. Yeah.
36:34🔗
Drew
I think a lot of the stuff with the enlargements in that business is for other men. Women do stuff for other women more than they do for men. But men, when it comes to that particular issue, some of it is for other men.
36:46🔗
Adam
Because I've had, I've been fortunate or unfortunate to go in professional locker rooms. And these men walk around and they're physical specimens as it is. They're professional athletes. I mean, they're like top 01 percenters. And some of the junk they're carrying with them just intimidates the hell out of you. It really, I mean, things that you thought you would never see that scar you for life. And you're like, how is that possible?
37:11🔗
Adam
Well, basketball by far is the one that will just blow your mind. Is you're trying to do an interview and you're talking to these people that just finished a game and the man next to them is completely naked and you can't help but out of the corner of your eye go, I'm just, I'm not a man. I'm so inferior. And I'm wondering if that plays, if that has something to do with our, you know, being uncomfortable with ourselves.
37:36🔗
Drew
The idea, I think, is that it makes you comfortable and not weird about stuff like that. But yeah, it may backfire. I don't know. No one's ever studied that. I know that's not a worthwhile study. I don't think it's that big a deal or I think you'd hear more specific complaints about it in people's stories. People are getting treated and stuff. That would be a big issue for them. You rarely hear that.
37:58🔗
Adam
Just you're taking, there's like 30 heads in the shower and you're like, I hope that guy doesn't stand next to me.
38:07🔗
Drew
It's a weird ritual that we have for young adolescents anyway. Just throw them all in a big bin like that. It's like concentration camp.
38:14🔗
Adam
Well, it is and it's just comparison shopping. You're like, wow, well, look at that. Now, I got that guy B, but this guy is just crushing.
38:20🔗
Drew
And whatever it is, whether it's breast size or hip size or whatever, people are bound to feel bad about themselves.
38:25🔗
Drew
There's always something but it was something that you don't have. All right. Well, listen, with that profound discussion, I'm glad I cleared that up. Thank you, Mike. I appreciate that. We'll move on to another break. The phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. It will be back. I feel so liquidy. Really?
38:43🔗
You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline will be right back. Loveline is brought to you by the American Legacy Foundation's Truth Campaign. It's free. It's informative. It's powerful. It's the truth.
39:16🔗
Drew
Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Corolla's off working on his Comedy Central show this week. I've had the pleasure of co-hosting with a range of really interesting people. I hope you guys have enjoyed it. Tonight we have Money from the Mothership Morning Show, who is on his Farewell Tour. This is something he has dreamed of for years since he used to wrangle bands and bring them in here. People like Orbit.
39:58🔗
Drew
Go, go. I have plenty. You know, I go on their morning show once in a while, and Money might have to ask me questions, but I get badgered by the usual morning show fare.
40:13🔗
Adam
And I'm worried about the world that we live in, what do you look out for? Like, how do you raise good kids now? What's the trick? I mean, I was brought up in a pretty good household. I had very little drama.
40:25🔗
Drew
Yeah. The trick is quiet and stable, simple. So people are healthier in simple lives. They really are. So quiet and stable, and high levels of supervision, and lots and lots of time until they're 12. You really got to get to 12. The 12 is when the brain is really not dry yet.
40:44🔗
Drew
Any trauma can have profound effects on the course of development. Then after that, it becomes again just vigilance, just shepherding and making sure that then up to 12, it's about the formation of the emotional systems. After that, it's the trajectory they're going to take in the world. You just got to make sure that launching pad is lined up right between 12 and 18, so they don't splash off in the specific.
41:11🔗
Adam
I'll tell you what's funny. I'm one of these green freaks. I have a car that runs on compressed natural gas that doesn't pollute the world and all that sort of stuff. And so I was filling my propane tank.
41:22🔗
Adam
Well, I'm on the morning show. So I am filling it up and I heard this boom. And you want to talk about scaring the hell out of you because I'm working with propane and I'm filling my car. And this massive boom happened and I literally jumped in the air. I was like, whoa. I mean, it really scared me.
41:36🔗
Drew
People in Southern California never experiences when the space shuttle lands, it lets loose this double humongous sonic boom. And if we live in the earthquake territory, it feels like an earthquake starting. And it's like, oh my God. And I was thrown out of bed by this goddamn thing. And I had several very surprising reactions. One was, this is an earthquake, half a millisecond later, oh no, no, it's the space shuttle. Half a millisecond later, oh, that must mean they're landing. That's a good thing. Which I was so surprised at myself for having this good, I mean, thrown out of bed. It's like, really? Oh, oh good, I guess it's good.
42:12🔗
Adam
Yeah, I had no idea. I thought I was going to die. But I was at the Long Beach Propane Filling Facility and I was about to just explode.
42:19🔗
Drew
There's a great book out there if you're really interested in parenting called Parenting From the Inside Out by a guy named Dan Siegel. It's the best parenting book I've ever read. All this sort of self-help stuff that's out there is so much BS. There's lists of things you can do. Has any of that ever helped anybody really?
42:37🔗
Drew
Poor Phil. I mean, whatever. He's a big motivational speaker and that's fine. He goes to a good TV show.
42:45🔗
Drew
No. My understanding is though that Phil's getting good consultants in there which is a good thing. You get good people working on the stuff that he presents, that could be a good combo. So what are you going to do? But the idea of breaking things down to steps and stuff, I just think that's a horrible idea. Throughout human history, think of the things that have changed humans. It's been those philosophical insights and changing your epistemological perspectives on life. I don't understand if you follow these steps to happen. No, ever, ever, ever. No way.
43:12🔗
Adam
Does every guy read the Art of War and then decide that that's how they're going to attack your life?
43:25🔗
Caller
Hey, I've been, I'm married and my husband's leaving for the Navy and he leaves next month. So I'm kind of worried because I was told if I get pregnant that he will get all his things taken away from him, you know, all his things. He won't be able to go.
43:43🔗
Yeah.
43:47🔗
Caller
No, no, no. He's in Navy. So he's going to be working on the planes and stuff, so he won't probably be over there. But I've taken two pregnancy tests and they've both been coming up negative, but I still haven't had my period in like two months. So I was wondering if there's like something else that could be causing me not to have it or...
44:09🔗
Drew
Of course. There's many, many, many things that can do that, not the least of which can even be stress and the kinds of things you're going through with your husband about the ship off. Are you on any medication?
44:22🔗
Caller
No, not usually. Like mostly I'd be late by like a week or something. It seems to get later and later every time during the month.
44:30🔗
Drew
Yeah. Well, I would still check the pregnancy test again in a couple of weeks. That certainly is the most common reason of no period. Medication is another thing, stress is another thing. Then it becomes sort of other ovarian cysts are very common, endometriosis can affect it, something called hypothalamic pituitary axis dysfunction, but that tends to be people that have more commonly, more irregular periods, polycystic ovarian, there's lots of things. So it's not as though, oh my God, Cindy's Mr. Period should be able to run to the hospital. I would say all women miss periods once in a while, and most women miss things quite frequently. I mean, have irregular periods often. So keep checking the pregnancy test to make sure you're not dealing with that, and then go see a doctor. It could be thyroid problems. You just need a basic battery of tests and a workup, a pelvic exam, make sure you're not ovarian cyst, okay?
45:24🔗
Caller
Okay. I broke up with my boyfriend five months ago because he wasn't treating me very well because I didn't tell him that I had gotten pregnant.
45:35🔗
Drew
Yeah. I'm confused. He didn't treat you well because you didn't tell him you were pregnant? Yeah. Did you terminate the pregnancy?
45:51🔗
Caller
Yeah. First of all, he got scared because I didn't tell him. Then he got pissed off because I didn't tell him. He was treating me really badly. His dad basically made me break up with him. Well, now guys from the age of like 13, all the way up to 50, are attracted to me. I mean, I guess it kind of makes me feel okay, but I really want him back. But I don't like, I don't know if I should or.
46:19🔗
Drew
I would say not. It sounds like that wasn't working very well. Don't go back to relationships that have ended. Usually you end up ending, it's just, particularly at your age, the ending process doesn't happen cleanly. You don't really know when things need to end. You sort of end it and start up again, end it and start up again. But they never really take off.
46:39🔗
Drew
So much BS. But as far as you have been attractive to other males, you better get used to that and learn how to manage that because that's the way a lot of women have to deal. We've got to take a break there, Faith. Thank you for your call. Money here from the morning show. Again, we have another break. It goes fast though, right?
46:55🔗
Drew
Break to break. It's not like morning shows where you take breaks all the time. But we will take a break. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be answering more calls after this.
47:06🔗
All right, guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?
47:12🔗
Call the Dateline, 877-889-DATE. Loveline will be right back. Loveline will be right back.
47:56🔗
Drew
Love Line, I'm Dr. Drew, he's Adam Corolla, he's away. I'm having a good time with a series of co-hosts tonight. It's Matt Money Smith from The Morning Show here at The Mothership. Eleven years with K-Rock, music director, rock hunter, record promoter.
48:25🔗
This first one's from Money. I want to know what your feelings are about Randy Moss and the Raiders.
48:37🔗
Adam
He was with the Vikings for a while. He is probably the best athlete in the NFL, but his head is just not on straight. Oh, really? It's funny. He does things that you wouldn't expect athletes to do. We see athletes get in trouble all the time off the field, but this is a guy who has been suspended for squirting a ref with a water bottle because he was running by during a game. He left the field before the game was over once, about two minutes early. His team was going to lose, so he decided to leave. He got into an altercation with a police officer. They were trying to write him a ticket, and he drove into them and made the parking person who was writing the ticket move out of the way or he was going to run them over, just had no interest in stopping the car. So I think he's a perfect raider. He will fit in with that team better than anyone could imagine. And I think it's funny.
49:23🔗
Adam
Yes, exactly. People are so fascinated by this, and they want their athletes to be these perfect people. They're just not. They're typically not good guys.
49:36🔗
Adam
Well, and not to mention, they come from very poor beginnings. So it's a whole different world for them. And Randy, I think, in particular, he's just got some issues. And if he can keep those straight off the field, he'll be great. If he can't, he'll be a nightmare.
49:50🔗
My other question is, I was sexually abused when I was younger, and I've always had a huge sex drive. Yeah. So, like, I had a lot of sex when I was younger. I stopped about two or three years ago, and I didn't have sex for that period. And just recently, I had sex again, and I lost a lot of feeling. Like, it's not as intense as it was. Is that normal, or is that?
50:13🔗
No.
50:16🔗
Actually, I quit about three months ago. I was taking Vicodin.
50:20🔗
Drew
Oh, well, this is all the Vicodin. So you are doing drugs. Now, you don't just quit Vicodin. You usually switch to something else. What else have you taken?
50:27🔗
Well, actually, I ran out, so I just stopped taking it.
50:32🔗
Drew
Huh. You're not smoking. You must be doing something. If you were addicted to Vicodin, it's almost impossible just to stop.
50:39🔗
Well, I wasn't like addicted or anything so much as like I had an injury.
50:43🔗
And that's what I was taking it for, is the injury.
50:49🔗
Probably about three months.
50:55🔗
Drew
Well, I would think about the broken back being more to do with your feeling and your genitalia.
51:00🔗
Well, I mean, I had sex before I broke my back, and there was the same feeling. The same loss of feeling, I should say.
51:09🔗
I'm like I can feel it and whatnot, but it's not so much pleasurable. I have the intense sexual drive, but I do not have the pleasure that all comes with it.
51:22🔗
Other than obviously the broken back, but...
51:26🔗
I rolled a quad going about 70.
51:30🔗
Drew
Well, I will tell you that with the sexual abuse, it's very common for there to be bipolarity associated with that. And so you could have been in a manic phase when you were so involved with sex. Also, people who have been sexually abused, it sort of affects their arousal system. So they sort of are constantly going for that level of arousal that was so shattering when they were younger. And they will then fluctuate as an adult for between periods of super hyper arousal and total shutdown. And you may be in one of those shutdown phases now, made worse by the Vicodin and whatnot. But in that shutdown, it makes sense to me there might also be some dissociation from the body feelings associated with it as well, okay? Okay. It makes sense. It's something you ought to kind of look into, particularly if you're in the sexual compulsion aspects of this. Now we need to go to line two is Sherry. She is 18.
52:19🔗
Caller
I have a kind of a huge massive problem. My dad is going into rehab and he announced it today. And he's been an addict for God his whole life. He was addicted to heroin and he was clean for 18 years. And then started doing coke and Vicodin basically every night. And he's, you know, he's an alcoholic, but a functional one. You know, he can still, he works a ton. I think he might be bipolar. There's all these aspects of it. And I'm really glad he's going into rehab. I went through it myself. But the only problem is, is that he doesn't believe in 12 step. He thinks he doesn't believe in group therapy. He doesn't believe in any of that, basically.
53:12🔗
Drew
He needs to go to get detoxed in a hospital and see people who have expertise in this area. He needs to take direction from them. Otherwise, he's just going to keep on going. It's very simple.
53:20🔗
Caller
I mean, I told him that, and he's like, well, why don't you trust me? And I'm like, okay, well, you're an addict. I can't trust you.
53:25🔗
Drew
Yeah, because, listen, you gotta tell him, addiction has nothing to do with trust has nothing to do with volition, has nothing to do with logic. It's a disorder of a deep area of the brain. It's a brain disease that affects a part of the brain called the medial forebrain bundle that is outside of consciousness, outside of thought, logic, and even language. It's a part of the brain that determines drive and motivation, and it's broken when you become addicted. It's based on a genetic mechanism, and when it becomes broken, that drive is activated, and the brain literally believes it's committing suicide or no longer going to survive if the drugs stop coming. That's the mechanism that's been activated.
54:05🔗
Caller
I mean, I've told him all of the... before, you know, like, about how... I mean, I went through 12 steps, so I know that it works, and I know that even if you don't want to go in, it's better to be thrown in because no matter what, you get...
54:16🔗
Drew
The next thing, only next thing you can do is go to a codependency program and work on that because you can't change him.
54:30🔗
Drew
But you can go get some codependency treatment, and I will tell you that the family members and friends participating in a codependency program significantly impacts on the probability that the identified person will come to treatment.
54:54🔗
Adam
You know what I do for my kids to motivate them? I have this chart, and when they do something good, I give them a sticker.
55:10🔗
Drew
We had triplets, and so we had lots of those boards and things over the years. They work.
55:20🔗
Adam
Like for us, it was, we don't want to sleep with you anymore. You need to go to bed by yourself. So here's your stickers. Great. Here's your aerial costume. And then a week later, dad's asleep with me. Wait a minute. What about the chart? Let me ask you a question about drugs. Yes. I come from a family, I guess, that has some alcoholism in it. So I assume that that makes me a candidate for-
55:46🔗
Drew
Particularly Cherokee. That has like 100 percent- It's just the way the gene penetrates with that ethnicity.
55:52🔗
Adam
No, I'm pretty white. So I'm all right there. But I experimented, it's funny, I was a very picky drug user through late high school. Didn't like pot, loved hallucinogenics, really enjoyed them. And I think I kind of was one of those people that came to a realization on his own that it probably wasn't a good idea to be taken away anymore. I liked acid and mushrooms and that sort of thing and I just found myself one night doing acid on my own by myself. And you know it's kind of a group thing where y'all get together and you're like, oh look at that, that's kind of cool, there's a monkey running through the sky and look at the sea, King Neptune's coming out and I just enjoyed it. And then I quit. But from time to time, there are certain things that happened during those hallucinations that I still have. Yes, it changes your brain. It does.
56:43🔗
Drew
Oh yeah. And you'll occasionally see a color or mind you that'll feel different. That's an amygdala experience. Your amygdala is tweaked by the drug. And what can happen is that can sort of stay in this sort of, okay isn't that interesting zone, it can sort of go off the chart where nothing's interesting anymore, that whole area gets sort of burned out so to speak.
57:06🔗
Adam
No, I was very good about it. I was kind of a guy who was disciplined during the so-called trip where if it went bad, I'd go, you know, this is going to end in two hours and I really need to get on to something better.
57:28🔗
Adam
I guess my concern is that it's something that will haunt me for the rest of, and I don't necessarily say haunt, it's just a weird.
57:37🔗
Adam
Right, which I wouldn't know. I'm sure it was some toothless freak that made it in the bathtub.
57:40🔗
Drew
Yeah, but people, usually they'll take multiple, multiple hits to get that huge high, or not even high, a huge experience, and then you can hurt yourself.
57:48🔗
Drew
Usually just 10 times, usually not that big a deal. Usually some changes in the amygdala, some changes in mood. If you had a predisposition to mood problems, it could definitely make those worse.
58:05🔗
Drew
It's so funny, you look at the textbooks from the 70s, they're sort of evaluating the brain effects of LSD. Well, there's nearly been no proven effects, but it has been observed these characteristic personality changes, but these people seem different and happier afterwards. I guess it's a good thing. They would make value judgments on these profound changes in their personality, in their biology. It's like, the question was, are there changes or aren't there?
58:31🔗
Drew
It's not as though you're gonna suddenly be Einstein. You know what I mean? It's not gonna make you a lot better with that.
58:38🔗
Drew
The brain is, there's no free luncheon by the nature. I say this all the time. If you stimulate your system in such a way that you're driving it above its physiologic norms, there will be a price.
58:53🔗
Drew
But they do it because it makes them do more things and drink more alcohol and stay up longer and study better. It's a performance drug. They can go do things with it.
59:01🔗
Adam
I had a guy I went to college with who would be on meth for like four days before exams and wouldn't sleep and would just basically blew off college until four days before exams.
59:13🔗
Adam
He would just go nuts and would do great on his exams. He's a lawyer now. It was just a weird situation to come in on like day three and he's just tweaking out of his mind.
59:34🔗
Caller
Hi. I am calling because I want to know if there's like, I don't know, hope, I guess, for me.
59:47🔗
Caller
Okay. Here's my situation. I'm 21. I'm a single mom. Things aren't really that easy. His father doesn't come around at all. My son's his third of four. He was cheating on me, you know, the whole time. I was living with him for a while. I left him when I was pregnant. And I just find it really hard to be in a relationship. And it's like, it scares me. And I, you know, there's guys that are interested in me. And, you know, I'll go along with it.
1:00:40🔗
Adam
Why wouldn't it be a trust issue with her, with the guy leaving her when she's pregnant?
1:00:43🔗
Drew
No. She chose that guy because of some reason. It could be amplified by that, but the fact is she chose the A-home for a reason. What was up with your dad?
1:01:13🔗
Caller
I don't know. I was really involved in my church and my girlfriends from church introduced me to him. That's how I met him. At the time when I met him, I was leaving to the Army. That's when I met him.
1:01:31🔗
Drew
There's more. Nicole, this is not the whole story. It's not the perfect family. Did your parents ever fought?
1:01:51🔗
Drew
Okay. That's physical abuse. Okay. The belt. Hitting with an object has a profound effect on children. So you were physically abused. Were you ever sexually abused? Yes. Okay. You were sexually abused. You were physically abused. That's why you went for the A-hole. Now, was your dad the one that did the physical abusing?
1:02:16🔗
Caller
No. It was an out-of-control. He never did it out of anger. It was because we were bad.
1:02:22🔗
Drew
Nicole, could you imagine taking a belt to your child? What do you think about that? Take a nice four-year-old and just smack him with a belt. How'd that feel? Good? Of course not. That is a parent who is out of control. Did he drink?
1:02:40🔗
Drew
Look, when it has the effect, the younger you are, the more profound the effect. Okay. So there's a reason you were attracted to that idiot. The things that terrorize us in childhood become the sources of attraction in adulthood. It's crazy. It's how we're wired. Dante and his Inferno picked up on this. Dante is sitting with Virgil at the gates of hell, and he's watching ferryloads of people come across the river into hell, and he says, they don't resist. They come right in. And Virgil says, oh yes, in hell, terror is converted into attraction. But now, that is it. I mean, we've known that forever about humans. And we're in massive denial about it. Money, if we would have known how to polar bear work, we'd look at about 30 polar bears and go, well, these polar bears, would it shock you that if somebody beat the hell out of a puppy, that that puppy would then become sort of changed by that? All right, humans the same, the same. That's it, period.
1:03:35🔗
Drew
I know, if we did too. Spanking, spanking, it has a lesser effect than if somebody of a parent does it.
1:03:40🔗
Drew
Well, there's a fact, there's an effect. It can make you antisocial. It can make you not want to listen to authority, for sure.
1:03:47🔗
Adam
My, I had the most demented school. They would make you sign a paper before they gave you a spanking, I would assume. So, you know, and then they would get a witness. But it was like this whole process that you knew, it was the worst. You would do something wrong, then you would have to go in the hallway, and then they'd hand you this clipboard with a sheet of paper on it. You have to sign it. Then they'd go and get the witness, then you'd bend over and they'd swat you.
1:04:12🔗
Drew
Portrait of an artist as a young man. He talks in vivid detail about the effect this had on him when he was beaten at school. Profound effect, and how it made him pursue prostitutes, literally, it sort of added to his sexual compulsion.
1:04:25🔗
Drew
I know, of course not. But the point is, you see how profound denial is. Nicole was physically abused and sexually abused.
1:04:32🔗
Drew
And dad may be a good guy, but he's a bad parent. And has no connection between why she would choose an abusive, abandoning a-hole, when that's all she's ever known for, and you have to be treated for that. When you've been sexually abused, it profoundly affects what you were attracted to. And of course, when you now go out there, you can't trust yourself, is what you can't trust, but you're still going to be very attracted to those awful guys. They're the ones that suddenly, magically, you'll be able to be with. Any guy that's nice, you're going to sabotage.
1:05:05🔗
Drew
Time out and maybe time in therapy. You know, sign in some kind of treatment, because this is a, Nicole's got a big monkey on her back.
1:05:11🔗
Drew
This is not, oh, the perfect child. I got the perfect child, the perfect life, perfect family. They hit me with a belt, I was sexually abused, I'm 20 with a 17 year old, trying to ship off to the Army, and I don't understand why I can't just find another guy.
1:05:26🔗
Drew
Well, I was just saying. All right, Money from The Morning Show is with us today, the mothership here at KROC. Let's go now to, what?
1:05:42🔗
Caller
Yeah, good evening. I've loved the program, and I've listened to it for years. I've recently been diagnosed with gender identity disorder, and they're saying it's caused from radiation, which I had back when I was three and a half.
1:06:08🔗
Caller
I had an optic chiasa glima that sat on the optic nerve, and the radiation was shot on each side of the pituitary area and nicked the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland.
1:06:33🔗
Drew
I think it's a very interesting hypothesis. I don't know that anyone's ever going to prove it in your life.
1:06:43🔗
Drew
Obviously, like with everything with human behavior, there are biological effects and there are environmental influences. And you've had a big hit to your biology and it's got to have some effect, whether or not it specifically shaped this disorder. I kind of doubt it. But that combined with whatever else was going on in your life, now you got a case, now you got a case. What are you doing with, how are you managing this gender identity problem?
1:07:12🔗
Caller
It wasn't really a problem. I just felt like something was always off when I was growing up. And then when I went in to the urologist, because I couldn't have an erection, he ran some tests, told me, you have higher levels of estrogen than you do of testosterone. I knew my testosterone was low because the radiation nicked the pituitary.
1:07:34🔗
Drew
Yeah, but most people, most men, when they have biological illnesses that lower their testosterone, when you restore the testosterone, they go into a testosterone storm. There's a great book out there called Man Made about a guy who now the editor of Us Magazine, in fact.
1:07:49🔗
Drew
And he became a professional hockey player immediately after going on testosterone. It went from something not interested in sports, not interested in women, to a hockey playing whore.
1:07:58🔗
Adam
Was Lance Armstrong doing the testosterone too after his cancer treatment? Isn't that like one of the things that they always said that he had some help in?
1:08:05🔗
Drew
Probably restoring testosterone levels. But again, that's not not having any for years and years. That's just after the levels drop after treatment. Well, Jake, what's the question?
1:08:22🔗
Drew
But a gender identity disorder means you're not sure if you're male or female, or man or a woman, really.
1:08:30🔗
Drew
I know, I know, but having more estrogen does not affect gender identity. It affects manifestations of your male identity, how intensely it's manifesting. It doesn't make you feel, gee, I think I'm a woman.
1:08:51🔗
Adam
So what do you do when you have gender identity disorder? Do you dress up in women's clothes?
1:08:55🔗
Drew
Sometimes. Sometimes I get the changeover operations. Do we have Dr. Alter's book here? Look for that, Michele. I'm going to show money some really cool pictures.
1:09:10🔗
Adam
I had a group of friends that went on a bachelor party to Mexico. You tell me if this is messed up. Yes.
1:09:17🔗
Adam
I'm sure it is. So they end up going to the bars, and a couple of the guys that are there take this woman home, have sex with her, and go to the same bar the next night, and are told, you know that woman used to be a man.
1:09:36🔗
Adam
Yeah. And they didn't seem to have a problem with it. Because they were under the presumption...
1:09:45🔗
Adam
That's going to affect them for life, right? They will always be in the back of their mind that they had sex with a man.
1:10:00🔗
Drew
Here we go. Here's a nice penis reconstructed out of a forearm. Isn't that nice? See that one down the lower right-hand corner? Lower right. Other page.
1:10:23🔗
Drew
Well, yeah. It can made to work. Nothing really comes out of it, I suppose. Right. That kind of thing.
1:10:32🔗
Drew
Oh, yeah. Frank and Dick. There's nothing like it. Frank and Penis, I beg your pardon. Okay. The phone number here, 1-800-LOVE-191. We are taking your calls. You still need to try to stump money with sports and or music questions. We'll be happy to take your calls after this. Call 1-800-LOVE-191.
1:10:53🔗
Operators are standing by. Loveline will be back in a minute.
1:11:19🔗
Drew
Loveline, Dr. Drew here, Adam Away, working on his Comedy Central show. My show tonight, Discovery Health Channel, Strictly Sex, Midnight, please check it out. It's a pretty good show this week.
1:11:39🔗
Drew
There's nothing not to love about radio. Television is sort of like an interesting challenge.
1:11:43🔗
Adam
I've done both, and it's amazing, the production that goes into a TV show. It blows your mind. How many people work on one show?
1:11:51🔗
Drew
For this three minutes of television. Yeah, and it's sort of, some of it too is convention. Well, because that's what we need, because that's what we do. That's what it takes for a television show. Really, I think I could do it with one person, a cameraman.
1:12:03🔗
Drew
We do it by ourselves, and we produce things that more people listen to than watch your, all right.
1:12:09🔗
Drew
Just saying. All right, let's take line six. This is Thomas, who is 23. Thomas, Thomas, call her who goes by Thomas. Yeah, I'm here. There we go. What's going on?
1:12:26🔗
Caller
All right. So here's the story. As a friend of mine, we've known each other for a long time, and we've been living together for a couple of months now, right? Throughout our friendship, we've been messing around off and on.
1:12:43🔗
Caller
So he decides to move in with me. We're cool with that. We decide that it'll continue to be the way it always has been. Casual sex, roommates, bills, all nine yards.
1:12:52🔗
Caller
Now he's starting to get emotionally attached towards me, and I don't have time for it, but he's my roommate, and he's my friend, and I don't want to hurt him. I just want to not have to be in a relationship with him.
1:13:04🔗
Drew
Well, this is a classic situation of friends with benefits. I can only share with you my experience with male-female friend with benefit arrangements, and they never ever work. They work for a while, and they can even work for even a year or two sometimes, but without exception, somebody gets an attachment. Somebody were only human.
1:13:27🔗
Drew
Well, not on a regular basis. I'm interested that in a gay relationship, the same thing happens, and you notice, I have noticed that I can't predict whether it's gonna be the male or the female that gets attached in the Friends with Benefit thing. It's not always the woman that gets attached. Man does too sometimes, and so it makes sense to me that in a gay relationship, it'd be equally as probable that one of the men get attached, and so.
1:13:55🔗
Drew
He likes you. What are you gonna do, Thomas? He likes you, and that's natural. It's human. You're in intimate contact with this human being. It's almost inhuman to not develop feelings. Maybe you're developing them at a different rate, but.
1:14:08🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, I do like him. I care a great deal for him, and the idea of a relationship wouldn't be bad. I just don't have time for it.
1:14:14🔗
Drew
Well, like any other awkward circumstance, when romance develops and one person doesn't respond, you're gonna have to be very clear about it. You sort of set it up. I think maybe stop having sex is the answer here, if that's possible. No.
1:14:32🔗
Drew
I know, just lots of guys. Now, that's when everyone's got the same set of motivational priorities. Everyone's thinking the same, and so that's why gays have lots of sex, lots of people. Right.
1:14:44🔗
Drew
But listen, if you care about him, you're gonna have to adjust and not just exploit. And you're hurting him. So you gotta mean stop having sex for a while. If you actually care about this human being, you're gonna have to adjust to that. And that may mean not having sexual. I'm sorry.
1:15:01🔗
Caller
What if I tried to explain to him, you know, I share some of the feelings that you're having.
1:15:06🔗
Drew
No, stop with that. Look, you're gonna be harsh. I'm not up for this right now. You're a great guy. You're my good friend. I'm bothered that I'm hurting you, that you're developing feelings, but we're not going there. And if you can tolerate that, we'll keep the things the way they are. If you can tolerate it, maybe you need to move out, maybe he would not have sex, whatever, but you've got to allow him that possibility. You owe that to him if he's somebody you say, as you say, you care about. You're right.
1:15:39🔗
Adam
I mean, it's not like you have to be, obviously, there's no emotional attachment to a guy.
1:15:42🔗
Drew
Guys are so predictable. It's like, well, this one's in my room. I mean, you're going to take my room? You're taking that away from me? No way. Again, men just sort of can get at this thing where sex is not about humans. It's about sex.
1:15:58🔗
Drew
Which is a great thing for the gay men when they can do that, but women, that's extremely mysterious. They can't do that very well.
1:16:17🔗
Drew
Well, I'll tell you what I have noticed is it sort of, even though Corolla himself wishes to be gay, genuinely, I really prefer that. That doesn't surprise me. I feel as though the show is not quite as gay-friendly as it used to be because he doesn't, he's a non-denominational abuser and so everyone gets hit in the crossfire and I think some people don't like that and I think it feels not friendly. For instance, Thomas is an unusual call for us when Adam's in here. Oh, really? I just think it's definitely-
1:16:48🔗
Drew
Great guy. By the way, Adam is just delighted to talk to people. As am I, it's a human experience and we're leaving out a big piece of the human experience. We don't talk to these people, but I have a sense that we don't talk to as many as we used to.
1:17:02🔗
Drew
There's clearly a genetic, like every human behavior, there's gene and environment and for a given individual, there's varying degrees of contribution of either, and some men clearly seem to be more genetically set up that way, and some men seem to be clearly more environmentally sort of made in the lab. And the made in the lab environmental experience is sexual abuse by Uncle Stu, which is really a common way to develop a sexual orientation towards men. However, neither way, however you get there, when you're there, you're there. It's not as though you can undo it. It's a deeply wired...
1:17:35🔗
Adam
So you don't think if they found out it was genetic, they could create a treatment if you want it to be cured?
1:17:48🔗
Drew
He has a plan, and he'll carry it out, whatever that might be. All right, this now is Manny, line five. Manny.
1:18:24🔗
Adam
I get these all the time. Manusia, man, just so deep, the Gagliardi Trophy. Division III is like, you know.
1:18:37🔗
Adam
Division III is like the lowest level of athletics in college, which is still pretty impressive.
1:18:58🔗
Caller
Okay. Well, the thing is, when I was a kid, I've always had some amount of blood in my urine, not enough noticeable, but always when I was growing up, when I was five, five, six, seven.
1:19:10🔗
Caller
Exactly. And I've always had that my whole life. I had tests when I was kid. We did blood tests every week for a couple years, and they never knew what it was, so they just dropped it. And so...
1:19:23🔗
Drew
It would be a good idea to have that evaluated again in adulthood, because there's a lot of reasons that that can be happening. It's a very complicated workup and a significant workup. As far as blood in the semen, that's actually a much less significant issue. That happens very frequently to a lot of men, and it rarely means anything. You should talk to your urologist about it when you go talk to him about the red cells in the urine, but it rarely means anything.
1:19:46🔗
Caller
Okay, because that happened Friday, and then today when I was at the gym, and I went, when I was working out, Owen took a pee, and half of my urine was...
1:19:56🔗
Drew
All right, well, that needs to be evaluated. The blood in the urine is something that needs to be checked out. That can be anything from kidney stones to irritations in the lining of the bladder, to intrinsic kidney diseases, so that needs to be checked out, okay?
1:20:10🔗
Caller
Yeah, because I went to the doctor, and she said, if it happens again, call her back. She did a prostate exam and everything, so...
1:20:23🔗
Drew
But the blood in the semen is, again, not nearly as significant as blood in the urine. Okay. All right.
1:20:31🔗
Adam
I have this crazy Uncle Bob who would tell us all these different stories when we were kids, you know? He's a guy that talks on the phone in the basement next to the air conditioner in case the people are listening, right? He's one of these guys. Great guy, though. Wonderful man. He passed a kidney stone, saved it, and showed it to my cousin. It's beautiful, huh? It's one of the most atrocious things I've ever seen. It looks kind of like, just to kind of paint a picture, it looks kind of like a lemon seed with little hooks coming out of it, right? And imagine that coming through your wreath.
1:21:03🔗
Adam
And the reason he saved it, showed it to us, is because we grew up in a period when we drank a lot of soda. And his claim is that pop or soda, whatever you may call it, causes...
1:21:22🔗
Drew
There's some theory that affects it, yes. Certain kinds of stones, anyway, the calcium oxalate stones.
1:21:33🔗
Adam
What about aspartame, by the way? There's this big movement now that aspartame is causing brain tumors and it's highly addictive.
1:21:44🔗
Adam
Well, it's just strange that it's so common now. Even OBGYNs tell people that are pregnant, don't chew sugarless gum because it has aspartame and that's a bad idea.
1:21:56🔗
Drew
Yeah. That's a delicate situation when somebody's inside, you're developing the potential for the slightest influence to creating a genetic trajectory that's bad is easy. You shouldn't take anything.
1:22:15🔗
Drew
I don't think so. Listen, think how litigious this society is. If there was really evidence that somebody was harmed by it, it'd be the hugest class action suit you've ever seen.
1:22:24🔗
Adam
Sure. But you know what they say? They say that the aspartame was pushed through by Rumsfeld because he was the chairman of this company.
1:22:30🔗
Drew
Whatever. There would be huge lawsuits. Are you kidding? These attorneys, they can make money off of something that's hurting people? Even when it's not hurting people? Oh my God. They'd go crazy with it instantly. But there's no evidence.
1:22:56🔗
Caller
I've seen on the news the other day that Mike Tyson is supposed to be making a porn with James Jameson. You hear anything about that or what's the name?
1:23:02🔗
Adam
Well, it's not that he's going to be making a porn with James Jameson. Apparently, Mike Tyson has a considerable amount of debt and he's trying to come up with creative ways to get rid of that debt. Oh, how funny. It's one of the reasons he fought his last fight and he essentially quit.
1:23:18🔗
Adam
It came from him. His suggestion is that he could be, well, Mike Tyson suggested he could be a major porn star, which I find terrifying. I can't imagine what those porns would be like. I imagine they'd be a little violent, a little scary.
1:23:34🔗
Adam
No. I think he threw it out there because they did something together once, or they did a promotion together and they were in the same place. So he feels like he has this connection with her and he suggested that through her production company, he could become a major male porn star. I'm sorry, not like gay porn, but he could become a porn star.
1:24:01🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, I think anyone that has a history of sexual assault would probably, you wouldn't want to be affiliated with them in your production company.
1:24:12🔗
Adam
Yeah. It's the last thing that she needs. Unless you would just assume that the curiosity of it would sell a ton of copies and make a lot of money.
1:24:18🔗
Drew
We've known her for a while in the show and the last time she showed up, she had a five-carat canary yellow diamond on and she came with multiple security guards in her Lamborghini. I mean, it's crazy what she's doing now.
1:24:30🔗
Adam
The porn, man. Isn't it crazy how big? I mean, when I was a kid, like we had We Magazine and these pornos were just, there's like Ask Train to Moscow or something. It was just terrible.
1:24:43🔗
Drew
There wasn't even video. And as Adam said, we'd stare at the box covers of rafts and things that are, you know, models on the cover of swimsuits. That was as far as I remember.
1:24:52🔗
Adam
Our big thing was, do you remember the early phases of cable TV? And the way it used to happen is that you would, I mean, you as a child would spend hours figuring out what buttons to hold at the same time and where to have the lever in the exact place that that thing would just de-scramble.
1:25:10🔗
Adam
And it was just jackpot. It was like, oh, it's the greatest. I saw the Happy Hooker goes to Hollywood for three seconds. It was just this watershed moment in your life.
1:25:28🔗
Drew
No, no, yeah. Men are under the influence of a drug. They can't help it. That drug is testosterone. It screws their head up for about 20 years.
1:25:35🔗
Drew
And I don't know why God set it up that men and women should be at their most different during their prime reproductive years. But there you go. So we meet again around 45.
1:25:54🔗
Drew
All right. Money from the Morning Show is here. On his farewell tour, he's leaving us to go to the Lakers Radio broadcast team. He's been here for 11 years. Music director recently. We've known him forever on this program because he brought bands through for many years. Give him a couple of those bands again.
1:26:09🔗
Adam
Geez. Let's see. Jimmy Eat World. You brought Jimmy Eat World? I brought Jimmy Eat World. Yeah. Very good friends of mine. Probably my favorite band I've ever worked with. They're great guys. There you go. League American right there. The nicest guys, family guys. It's funny, you go out with a lot of these bands and a lot of them have personality quirks and they may not be pleasant to be around. Or I've been out with the bands where I'm the ass wrangler and I have to go find the hot girls and bring them back to the bus. And that's always a little uncomfortable. Both they are just, hey dude, let's go out and have a drink and hang out and shoot it for a little bit. They're wonderful guys. So Jimmy, World, Nelly Furtado I believe I brought to you, who's a wonderful young girl. AFI and Orbital and Echo and the Bunnymen I brought to you who were a nightmare. Oh man, just, you know, they were a band that was very big at one point and I got them on their comeback tour. And that's always a tough one man because the bands want to still be recognized as what they were and they got to work it and they don't like working it so it's never really pleasant being the guy that's telling them to work it.
1:27:18🔗
1-800-LOVE-191, Loveline will be right back.
1:27:46🔗
Drew
That's right, that's Money's band, Jimmy Eat World. And Adam always says, this is his theme song. When he walks into a bar, this is what the women hear and see.
1:27:55🔗
Drew
Well, it's actually in his head. Right. This song, he's got the glasses pulled up over his head, slings back the member's only jacket over his shoulder. Oh yeah, he's got the... And when the women see him come across the room, they usually hear and see something a little different.
1:28:18🔗
Adam
Is that Bullwinkle? That sounds like Bullwinkle, I think. Yeah, that's Corolla walking across the room. Kids don't appreciate the music like they used to, I think. I really believe that. I just think the connection. I think we all, and I'm not that old, but we all have connection. Like, oh, I remember when I had sex the first time. This is the song that I set it up with. Man, this was my closer right here.
1:28:46🔗
Drew
I can remember at like 14, 15 sitting and listening to the same album or the same song for hours.
1:28:52🔗
Drew
So the idea of an iPod with 3,000 songs on it, I don't know what, I guess I would do that. Yeah, you wouldn't get so attached to the one song.
1:29:00🔗
Adam
Yeah, you'd get an album and you would listen to it forward and backward, you would listen to all 12 songs. Over and over and over and over and over again. You'd memorize them and go, this is the best album ever. It was Kiss Alive 2, it's the greatest. And now it's just one, what's next, what's next?
1:29:23🔗
Caller
I had a question, actually. The question I had is when me and my boyfriend are having sex sometimes, it's very strange because sometimes the sex is really awesome. Penetration is good. And then there's other times when we're actually having sex and it's very, very painful for me and he actually gets cut, believe it or not.
1:29:48🔗
Drew
Is that because, you turn your radio off, please. Is that because you are going on for a long time?
1:30:03🔗
Caller
Oh, believe me, I do. But then it's like when we get start, you know, and then we'll like, okay, let's try it a different way or something. And then we'll start having sex again. And it's like, he can, you know, have an orgasm, but he'll pull it out and it'll be all like, he'll have like little cuts and stuff on him.
1:30:34🔗
Drew
What do you think, there is no real good test for herpes. What do you think herpes would look like?
1:30:46🔗
Caller
But I mean, it's not all the time that that happens, but it's like when we're having sex.
1:30:56🔗
Drew
Then it hurts. And you would have the, people tend to have outbreaks simultaneously when one person is producing the virus, it triggers it in the other. And that's why it would hurt you.
1:31:08🔗
Drew
Exceedingly common. And most people that have it don't know they have it. They don't really, it's such a mild condition. It's like what she's describing. And they just like, they don't, now I thought I just tore my penis. I just got some irritation. I thought I soaked up. They have all kinds of reasons and rationalizations for it, but it's often herpes.
1:31:25🔗
Drew
So the only way, Lydia, that you could really nail this down is to take him to a doctor when he has those cuts and or when you're having the pain to go have a pelvic exam. And they'd have to do something called a viral culture to know whether or not this is herpes or not. And that test is not done unless you specifically request that test.
1:31:47🔗
Drew
It sounds like there's something, inflammation that's occurring simultaneously in both of you. And the most common thing would be herpes.
1:31:59🔗
Drew
Well, it maybe came from somebody's mouth, you know. It gets transmitted down there that way sometimes. Somebody has a cold sore and they don't really think about it. And they have oral sex and pow. Now you've got it.
1:32:16🔗
Adam
The big big quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, Michael Vick, is in a lawsuit because a girl is alleging that he gave her herpes knowingly.
1:32:24🔗
Adam
And didn't tell her. This is the best part of it though. She's suing him and his alias because he used an alias when he checked into the hotel.
1:32:41🔗
Adam
I have no idea. But it leaked that this man's alias is Ron Mexico and it's like the funniest thing in the sports world right now. That of all the alias's to lose.
1:32:50🔗
Drew
Would you wonder how these guys, if they did have herpes, how they could be assured that even when they tell the girl up front, the girl would not claim that he didn't. It would be one word against the other.
1:33:01🔗
Adam
I have, having been done sports for as long as I have, I have a number of connections in the different sports and they tell me that these players, there are the same group of women in every city that sleep with all these different players and it's just this very insesuous relationship between them and their groupies.
1:33:19🔗
Drew
It makes sense. If it's such a common thing, it's so contagious. If people are having multiple sexual partners, they're going to get this. They're all going to have wart virus for sure. They're going to take care of it.
1:33:32🔗
Drew
That's hard when it contains. If somebody has an outbreak and you have sex even with a condom, you're going to get something somewhere probably.
1:33:42🔗
Drew
It's fine. Well, it doesn't mean anything. Just get it checked out. We're speculating over the radio. Of course, I don't know for sure what you have. I don't know either of you. Go get it checked out, Sam.
1:33:52🔗
Adam
Break the news to your man, gently. Tell him he has the same thing as some professional athletes.
1:34:01🔗
Drew
It just flashed by. This is it. This is the thing you've looked forward to for all these 11 years. All these many years that you've worked at K-Rock, who knew that you'd one day spend a quick two hours on the phone?
1:34:11🔗
Adam
Yeah, I know. This is so much better than the morning show. It's just five hours of pain.
1:34:32🔗
If you need help, call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.
1:35:07🔗
Adam
Well, maybe not. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll be a big sports celebrity and I can come back and tell my crab story. That's fantastic.
1:35:18🔗
Drew
Speaking of tomorrow, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are in here tomorrow night. Honey, we wish you the best.
1:35:28🔗
Drew
Our pleasure. And tomorrow night again, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman, a couple bits of business here. Adam has asked me to remind people that if you want to be in the audience for his show, it's www.1, number 1, iota, iota.com, or 866HEYADAM. I also have Discovery Health Channel.
1:35:50🔗
Drew
And so I'll promote my own thing here for a second. Discovery Health Channel is strictly sex on right now. Please check that out. And in the meantime, I'll see you guys tomorrow night. And this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla saying mahalo.
1:36:05🔗
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.