Tuesday, July 12, 2005

0:57🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21🔗 Hey, yeah, it's the Loveline, everybody.

1:25🔗 Voiceover I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist.

1:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:35🔗 Adam Yeah, baby.

1:36🔗 Drew It's night off for you, no guest.

1:38🔗 Adam Thank Christ. I thought Polly Shore was coming in here tonight.

1:42🔗 Drew I have been work. That's tomorrow.

1:44🔗 Adam I'm going to have to take a nap. I had a long, long day.

1:48🔗 Drew Really? What happened?

1:49🔗 Adam Oh, I had to do a bunch of promos for this new Comedy Central show.

1:53🔗 Drew Oh, no. Yeah. Well, no, no, these are epic events. Not epic in the sense that they go forever. It's Adam going, wait a minute, wait a minute. Hey, no, no, wait, let me see. No, no, no, this won't.

2:05🔗 Right?

2:06🔗 Drew What do you mean? You're trying to correct the copy a little bit and I'm going, just say it, just say it.

2:12🔗 Adam No, they don't even do that, just say it stuff with me anymore because I'm so horribly insulting. I just throw out most of it and have to fix it, but we went with one of their ideas and took like eight hours and exhausted, took about 14 costume changes. I can't stand getting dressed even in the morning.

2:30🔗 Drew I hope they would change from one set of slippers and pajamas.

2:33🔗 Adam No, I had to play myself times eight.

2:35🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying, slippers and pajamas and what?

2:40🔗 No?

2:41🔗 Adam In deep Culver City too. Deep at the airport Culver City. Oh. Yeah. Deep.

2:49🔗 Drew Isn't that where all the strip clubs are?

2:50🔗 Adam No. I mean, that's by the airport. This is just way down the way. It's like Slauson.

2:56🔗 It's so deep.

2:58🔗 Adam Oh, man, do I hate TV. All right.

3:01🔗 Drew We're talking about our favorite show that tonight. Blowout.

3:04🔗 Adam That's my favorite show. Watch it tonight.

3:07🔗 Drew Oh, I did too.

3:08🔗 Adam Jonathan's over at the club.

3:09🔗 Drew I used to get my hair cut at that place.

3:10🔗 Adam Really?

3:11🔗 Drew Yeah. The tall blonde girl cut my hair for a while. She moved from one place to another. She goes, please come to this one.

3:16🔗 Adam Why did you do that?

3:17🔗 Drew Because that's where she moved. She was cutting over by CBS, closer to us where we live. And then she goes, please come to this thing. And that's just too far for me.

3:25🔗 Adam Too far. Who cuts your hair now?

3:27🔗 Drew Somebody back at the place where I always went before.

3:30🔗 Adam What do you pay? Be honest.

3:32🔗 Drew 65, 80, 70.

3:33🔗 Whoa, whoa, whoa, 80.

3:35🔗 Adam Whoa, I thought you were cheap. Weren't you cheap?

3:38🔗 Drew I'm cheap.

3:39🔗 Adam What do you pay in 80 bucks for a haircut?

3:43🔗 Wow.

3:44🔗 Drew Do what my wife tells me.

3:45🔗 Adam I pay $10.

3:46🔗 Drew It's good.

3:47🔗 Adam I go to Barberia.

3:48🔗 Drew Where is that?

3:49🔗 Adam That's Mexican lady.

3:51🔗 Drew Nice.

3:52🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah.

3:53🔗 Drew Does she use a flow-bee?

3:56🔗 Adam She uses whatever and she screws it up half the time, but it's 10 bucks. No, she uses the buzzer. I sit there reading Latin Entrepreneur magazine, reading about some chick who made a million selling churros. Yeah, it's awesome. In Spanish.

4:14🔗 Drew In Spanish?

4:15🔗 Adam Yeah, it's $10.

4:16🔗 Drew You don't read my book in English and you read Spanish?

4:19🔗 No, I don't read Spanish.

4:21🔗 Adam I just sit there and look at pictures of Mexican chicks. Yeah, but 10 bucks.

4:26🔗 Drew That's good.

4:26🔗 Adam 10 bucks. Yeah, because here's the thing.

4:27🔗 Drew No flowby though, huh?

4:28🔗 Adam Here's the thing.

4:29🔗 Drew Let me tell you what a flowby is. It was a vacuum cleaner with a clipper attached to it.

4:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

4:33🔗 Drew So it would pull your hair up and clip.

4:35🔗 Adam My hair won't pull up.

4:36🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

4:36🔗 Adam I got pubes on my head. What barber uses a flowby?

4:39🔗 Drew I'm just kidding.

4:40🔗 Adam All right, well, if you're just kidding, knock it off. I mean, stop kidding the fifth time. I ask you what the eff you're talking about. I know, I thought you were kidding, but you just kept going with flowby.

4:49🔗 Drew Well, people didn't know what a flowby was.

4:51🔗 Adam They know what a flowby is, Chris.

4:53🔗 Drew You ever heard of a flowby before this moment? Not really, no. No.

4:58🔗 Adam Really?

4:58🔗 I mean, when you're describing it, I know.

5:00🔗 Drew Those commercials have been off the air for 30 years, Adam. Flowby. They used to be on daytime.

5:06🔗 Adam No, they've been off for a few years.

5:08🔗 Drew Really?

5:09🔗 Adam Yeah, they've been around for a long time.

5:10🔗 Drew They did it on a TV, though.

5:12🔗 Adam Hold on, Chris, you never heard of a flowby? No.

5:15🔗 Wow.

5:17🔗 What is it?

5:17🔗 Adam What do you do?

5:18🔗 I get my hair cut at...

5:19🔗 No, I don't care what you get your hair cut.

5:20🔗 Drew He means TV.

5:21🔗 You watch TV? Here's what I'm asking.

5:22🔗 Adam Here's what I'm picturing you doing. I'm picturing you putting a Styrofoam ice chest on your head when you leave this studio, packing it with wet towels, and just running, and once in a while some information seeps in, literally seeps in, and then you have to immediately undergo some sort of electrostatic shock thing to take whatever image popped in your head out of it.

5:47🔗 Drew Whatever.

5:50🔗 Never heard of Flo B. When you're describing it, I think.

5:52🔗 Drew You're abusing a graduate, a junior college graduate.

5:55🔗 Sorry.

5:55🔗 Drew Come on.

5:55🔗 Adam I'm not even, I'm not talking about the description of it. I just mean the name Flo B.

6:01🔗 Drew That's all right. I'm used to it.

6:02🔗 Adam Whatever.

6:02🔗 Drew It sounds like a Furby. People think about it's an animal.

6:05🔗 Adam No, Flo B.

6:06🔗 No.

6:06🔗 Drew Okay. Listen, Flo Bs were before the Furbys.

6:10🔗 What is it?

6:10🔗 Adam Hold on, Drew. Stop defending. By the way, you're the guy who said Flo B 26 times, so if you think people shouldn't get it, then you're an idiot.

6:17🔗 Drew To me, it's a memory from my childhood.

6:19🔗 Adam It is not from your childhood.

6:22🔗 Drew Or maybe my young adult, very young adult.

6:24🔗 Adam Yeah, young adult. You were 41.

6:27🔗 Anderson, please save me.

6:32🔗 We already did that with Chris.

6:34🔗 Adam Anderson, would you save me, please?

6:36🔗 Yeah, I told you. They stopped going on air like five years ago.

6:41🔗 Adam They've been around. They weren't around when you were a kid. That was like something else.

6:45🔗 Drew All right. Okay.

6:46🔗 Adam All right. Drew, you wouldn't remember it if it happened when you were a kid.

6:51🔗 Drew I wouldn't recall it spontaneously, but if somebody were brought to my attention.

6:54🔗 Why don't they advertise them anymore?

6:57🔗 Adam I think somebody got their ear taken.

6:59🔗 I bet somebody tried to beat off with one, like they would with an active cleaner and got sued.

7:04🔗 Adam Yeah. Even my mind wouldn't go there, Anderson.

7:07🔗 Drew By the way, I just had a curiosity. You're in therapy. I was thinking about this tonight. You don't bring up your sexual habits with your therapist.

7:16🔗 Adam Is that a hispice?

7:16🔗 Drew That's perfect.

7:18🔗 Adam I haven't been to the Shrink in a long time, Drew.

7:20🔗 Drew Well, interesting. You've not talked about masturbation in about three months. Really, not with your usual verve.

7:25🔗 Adam I'm tired. On this show?

7:27🔗 Yeah.

7:29🔗 Drew You sort of, you publicly referred to it, but you didn't talk actively about it the way you always have. Are you okay?

7:34🔗 Adam I'm getting tired, Drew. That's all.

7:36🔗 Drew Is it?

7:38🔗 Adam Is it what?

7:39🔗 Drew Is it that you've made some progress in therapy and so things have sort of become less compulsive?

7:44🔗 Adam Drew, first you go down to Flowbee Isle and you find no purchase for your seat. Now you're going down the Beat Off Isle. What are you insinuating?

7:53🔗 Drew Just, I'm just, the topic for discussion is just interesting. I thought I was thinking about it.

7:57🔗 I've moved on to what?

8:00🔗 Drew I don't know.

8:01🔗 All right.

8:01🔗 Drew We'll see.

8:02🔗 Adam Drew, here's the thing. I don't plan on being entertaining tonight.

8:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

8:06🔗 Adam So we're screwed.

8:06🔗 Drew All right.

8:07🔗 You know what killed it, Drew?

8:08🔗 Drew What?

8:09🔗 When he had to beat off by those nurses, when he had to produce for the doctor.

8:15🔗 Drew Oh, recently. Oh, that's true. He hasn't talked about it since then, really. When you had to get your sperm tested.

8:19🔗 His dignity got left behind.

8:22🔗 Drew Anderson, whatever we say, whatever we'd like to have a conversation about, he's not up for it. So let's just go on with the calls.

8:27🔗 Adam Yeah, go ahead. I didn't know what you guys are talking about.

8:30🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying. You're not up for it. Let's go to calls.

8:31🔗 Adam All right.

8:32🔗 Drew It's a good time.

8:32🔗 Mark.

8:34🔗 Yes. Yes.

8:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Every once in a while I come in, I don't feel like doing the show and it's fun to watch. It just completely grind to a halt.

8:43🔗 Drew What? It's tough to have a conversation with somebody that doesn't want to have a conversation, but we've got callers. We'll go to that.

8:48🔗 Adam No, listen. You beat the crap out of the flow B. Then you insisted that it was from your childhood and that it's been off the air for 40 years. When you're defending Chris, it's been off the air for a few years.

9:03🔗 Chris, you better hope I don't go ask Producer Lauren.

9:06🔗 Drew If she's heard of a flow B?

9:06🔗 Adam If she knows what a flow B is, you're screwed. I basically use you against her in the same threatening fashion when it comes to stuff. Cool. Cool. Where is she? I'm going to go ask her. Drew, take the call.

9:18🔗 Drew Got it. Mark, 25.

9:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:22🔗 Drew Go ahead, Mark. What's the deal?

9:23🔗 Adam Mark, do you know what a flow B is?

9:26🔗 Not quite sure.

9:27🔗 Drew You have any sense of what it is?

9:30🔗 No idea.

9:31🔗 Drew Okay. No idea. Not quite sure.

9:33🔗 Adam You may dodge a bullet.

9:35🔗 Drew All right. Mark, what's the question?

9:37🔗 How can I get my girlfriend in the different positions to where she won't get a bladder infection?

9:44🔗 Drew So every time you guys have sex, she gets an infection?

9:47🔗 Unless it's missionary or her on top, and she can't, like, even on top, she can't even do like cowgirls. She can just missionary it that way.

9:56🔗 Drew You know, where she can just sort of lie on top of you?

9:58🔗 Pretty much.

9:59🔗 Drew And then she doesn't get a urine infection?

10:02🔗 Right.

10:02🔗 Drew All right. Let's sort of define what we're talking about. There's something used to be called honeymoon cystitis, and that's because women have a very short distance from the bladder to the outside world. So when you start sort of pushing around down there, bacteria gets pushed up into the bladder, in particular in certain positions for some women. It's more likely to occur as you're suggesting, Mark. And so you've got to either find a position where it doesn't occur, or some women take antibiotics every day or every time they have sex as a way of preventing this. Something called macrodantin that's been abdicated for this over the years, and or sep-ra, excuse me, sep-tra, you know, sulfa medication. So maybe she's talked to her doctor about things she could do. Your point is you want her to take on a new position?

10:45🔗 Adam Bad news, Chris.

10:46🔗 Drew She knew what it was?

10:47🔗 Adam Yes.

10:48🔗 Drew Wow. How long has it been off the air as far as she's concerned?

10:51🔗 Adam Oh, listen, I was so elated that she knew what the flow be was.

10:55🔗 Drew How long has it been? When was the last time you saw a television commercial for it? Hold up hands. How many years? Six years.

11:00🔗 True.

11:02🔗 Adam You were 41, remember?

11:03🔗 Yeah.

11:04🔗 Drew No.

11:05🔗 Not really.

11:07🔗 Drew My life reset about 45.

11:09🔗 Adam All right, Drew. You ever get tired of being wrong?

11:11🔗 No.

11:12🔗 Adam It doesn't scare you that you're a doctor and you're wrong all the time?

11:14🔗 Drew If I got tired, would I?

11:15🔗 Adam I'm wrong, people's feelings get hurt. You're wrong, people die.

11:19🔗 Drew Well, I'm wrong about that stuff. But if I'm wrong about this stuff, you think I'd keep doing it if I didn't like it?

11:23🔗 Adam If this is any indication.

11:25🔗 Drew Just use your deductive powers.

11:28🔗 Adam All right. Mark, what's Mark want?

11:30🔗 Drew He wants his girlfriend to try different positions so she doesn't get urine infections. Apparently, she can only be in certain positions and it's not that great for them, but she could get some antibiotics and try different things then.

11:40🔗 All right. Let's see.

11:42🔗 Adam Getting emancipated. I'm kind of curious about that. Autumn?

11:46🔗 Yeah.

11:48🔗 Adam Sixteen?

11:49🔗 Yeah.

11:50🔗 Adam What's the matter, baby doll?

11:53🔗 I just hate my family.

11:55🔗 Drew Are they drug addict hippies?

11:57🔗 They were. Well, not my mom, but my dad was and my stepdad was.

12:02🔗 Adam Drew went with that because of the autumn name of his.

12:04🔗 Drew Yeah, and then she's Oregon. Oregon.

12:06🔗 Ooh, ooh.

12:07🔗 Adam All right. And you want to get emancipated?

12:09🔗 Yeah.

12:11🔗 Adam And are you asking how that works or whether it's a good idea?

12:15🔗 Well, both, actually.

12:17🔗 Drew Why don't you start with the Department of Social Services, even Child Protective Services. They probably are used to doing that kind of thing.

12:23🔗 Adam What is emancipation for? I mean, what was originally started for? I mean, you know, you hear about these, you know, celebrities, you know, Hilary Duff, she's 17, she's making $20 million a year, her dad's a deadbeat, so she's going to go do this.

12:39🔗 Drew Yeah, it's basically for kids that need...

12:41🔗 Adam But when you're just a 16-year-old chick from Oregon, what's it mean if there's no abuse going on? There is. You know, there is abuse.

12:49🔗 Drew She wouldn't want to be emancipated if it were not a horrible situation.

12:52🔗 Adam Sometimes. Some people are just super rebellious and want to strike out on their own and stuff. What's going on in the abuse department?

13:00🔗 When I was about 8 or 9, my stepdad molested me until I was 12.

13:06🔗 Drew I love the way they stop too when they start becoming no longer a child.

13:13🔗 Adam You know from your hippie upbringing that we can't judge. It's impossible to judge.

13:19🔗 Drew It's just his preference.

13:20🔗 Adam Yeah, it's his thing. It's not wrong. There's no wrong. There's just different. That's all you know. Are you still living with your stepfather?

13:29🔗 Yeah. Well, like, and my mom, they fight constantly, like no other.

13:33🔗 Drew Did you say one is a drug addict, your stepdad?

13:36🔗 Yeah, my stepdad is. Well, he says he quit. He did it when he molested me. And I guess he quit. He went to this, I don't know, group or something. But the fact that my mom's at work, he's gone the whole time. And he'll just leave and not tell anybody where he's going. And he always looks like he's on something. But I know he smokes pot because I do it with him.

13:59🔗 Adam Healthy. That must be nice to be high in front of the guy who molested you four years ago.

14:03🔗 Drew I got a letter from a guy in Oregon. Look at this guy's name, Mark Hanson, who sent a newspaper article from, what was this now, the Willamette Press or something, Willamette Week. And it's advocating on behalf of marijuana and stuff. They interview people who are severe opiate addicts going, well, you know, marijuana lets me cut down on my Oxycontin. It's like, oh my God. Are you kidding?

14:27🔗 Adam Why did he send it to you?

14:28🔗 Drew Just because he was so outraged by the article.

14:30🔗 Adam Ah, I see. Adam, well, we'll get into that in a minute when we wrap up with Adam. But Adam, there's, okay, so you're smoking pot with the guy now.

14:39🔗 Yeah, but.

14:39🔗 Adam And he's not abusing you anymore.

14:42🔗 Kind of now.

14:44🔗 Adam What do you mean kind of?

14:44🔗 Well, I mean, like, he used to touch me and like, like now, like, I've only seen him do it once recently. Well, not recently, like a couple months ago, but like he was jacking off in front of me and I left.

14:55🔗 Drew Hey, well, how about your mom? What's the deal with her? How come she can't come to your aid in some way?

15:00🔗 My mom, like, she's a good person, just, but I know she has lots of problems. I mean, she has a hard time trusting people and she's really-

15:09🔗 Drew Because she was sexually abused too, of course. That's why, of course, that's why she brings in these abusers.

15:15🔗 Adam But, Drew, Drew, there's no patterns, you can't judge.

15:18🔗 Drew It's just their thing.

15:19🔗 Adam Their things, everything's random. How do you know? There's no rhyme, there's no reason. And by the way, these A-hole retard idiots who do this, like, everyone's an individual and everyone's free to make their own thing and all that.

15:33🔗 Drew Free to choose, to choose a choice.

15:36🔗 Adam Where are you willing to stop with your stupid, retarded, unthought out, there's everything sort of random thing? Like, what about seasons, like, we're in summer now. Do we know fall's coming?

15:48🔗 Drew Yes.

15:49🔗 Adam Or do we might just skip ahead to winter?

15:51🔗 Drew You know, it's interesting.

15:51🔗 Adam Or that might just go right, what about just five years of summer, like, what are you guys willing to admit is a cycle, is cyclical, happens in a cadence, happens because, you know, X and Y equals Z, like, where are you willing to admit this is gonna happen? You certainly are good with it when you're talking about the man, when we talk about oil companies, you figured out their patterns, you got everyone's pattern, how come not this one?

16:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

16:21🔗 Adam Where are the patterns? No patterns in life or just when it pertains to your simple ass? You know what I'm saying?

16:28🔗 Drew Yes, I know what you're saying.

16:29🔗 Adam How dare everyone?

16:30🔗 Drew You know, I will be, this will air, this show as I'm speaking will be, let's see, Wednesday night in Washington DC where I'm going to be talking on Capitol Hill to a group of Capitol Hill interns, and all the staff interns and staff people that serve the Congress and stuff. So I'm going to bring this up.

16:46🔗 Adam Please do, Drew.

16:47🔗 Drew We'll see. I only wish you would come with me to this and stand up there on the podium and just let them have it.

16:52🔗 Adam I do too, but I'm too tired.

16:53🔗 Drew He's too tired.

16:54🔗 Adam Adam?

16:55🔗 Drew Anderson, don't. Thank you. So Adam, here's the deal. How would your mom feel about you becoming emancipated?

17:02🔗 Caller Honestly, I don't think she'd let me. She'd be all like, what's going on and stuff like that.

17:06🔗 Drew So what's the deal here? So what is your goal to get her to come back in and help you and rescue you? Are you just going to leave no matter what she says?

17:16🔗 Caller I don't know. She loves the guy so much and I want her to get back.

17:20🔗 Drew Adam, here's the deal. You need to get Department of Social Services involved. That's the only way this is going to happen anyway. Once they get involved, they will help you make some choices. You need to tell them about him jacking off in front of you and the abuse and all that. You need to tell them that.

17:33🔗 Caller I can't.

17:36🔗 Drew Then you're not going to get emancipated. All right.

17:37🔗 Adam Let's try it this way.

17:38🔗 Caller What about child welfare or something like that?

17:42🔗 Adam Do you have friends?

17:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:47🔗 Adam Do you do okay at school?

17:48🔗 Caller I actually do really good in school.

17:51🔗 Adam By the way, let school be your motivation for getting way the hell out of Dodge. I mean, your job should be get good grades, graduate fast, and get the F out of...

18:02🔗 Drew That's how you get emancipated. You go away to school.

18:04🔗 Right.

18:06🔗 Drew Get some funds, some loans for college or something.

18:10🔗 Adam You need to talk to social services. If you won't do that, talk to your mom. If your mom's not gonna do anything, talk to a counselor at school. Maybe even a friend's parent.

18:19🔗 Drew I was gonna say, spend as much time out of that house as possible with your friend's house. Be careful with guys you're attracted to. You're gonna be just like your mom being attracted to abusive a-holes.

18:27🔗 Caller Oh, how dare you, Drew?

18:28🔗 Drew There's no patterns. If there were patterns. If there was laws governing human behavior.

18:34🔗 Caller Jessica?

18:35🔗 Drew Yeah?

18:36🔗 Adam Well, it'd be interesting if there were, Drew.

18:38🔗 Caller I'd like to see what kind of plan that was.

18:40🔗 Drew How dare you? That's suggesting that humans are not free, creating God's image.

18:43🔗 Adam Jessica?

18:45🔗 Caller Yeah?

18:45🔗 Adam 22?

18:47🔗 Caller Yeah. Go ahead.

18:50🔗 Drew Hang on one second, Jessica. I think that's one of the reasons people have trouble with this. Because one of the sort of cultural heritages we inherit is we're made in God's image. And God, he wouldn't be screwed up like this.

19:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:03🔗 Drew You know, he wouldn't.

19:03🔗 Adam That's interesting.

19:04🔗 Drew And why would he have put that into us? That's such a crazy, bizarre, sort of the only way you can make reason out of is to look at evolution and figure out where it had a function.

19:13🔗 Adam Yeah. Here's what I'm starting to realize is I travel through life. A, people are exquisitely dumb.

19:21🔗 Drew Can we modify that and say primitive? Dumb and primitive?

19:24🔗 Adam Whatever you want to call it. Just primitive, dumb, whatever you want to call it. The next thing is, there's no emphasis on correcting that, and the government seems to actually be going the other direction. We always get presidents up there that are talking about Jesus Christ, and I've never heard anyone talk about anything that would seem or lead to solving that problem at all. I don't know if the government has a vested interest in that. It seems almost intentional.

19:54🔗 Drew It makes you paranoid when you think about it.

19:55🔗 Caller If you really do think about it, yeah.

19:58🔗 Adam The government just almost seems like they don't want the public to be too educated, or at least psychologically educated.

20:06🔗 Drew All right, Jessica, here we go.

20:08🔗 Caller Okay.

20:09🔗 Drew This is where you talk. We won't interrupt.

20:13🔗 Guest My boyfriend is a little bit older than me, and he has a piercing, and I was giving him oral sex, and when he got done, he pulled out and his piercing hit my tooth. And so now I have a black tooth. A black tooth?

20:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:33🔗 Drew What do you mean? You mean you cracked the tooth?

20:35🔗 Guest No, it just turned it black.

20:39🔗 Drew That's a dead tooth.

20:41🔗 Guest So I didn't get why that would happen, and I have a rash around my mouth from where he ejaculated.

20:48🔗 Adam Wow. One-two punch.

20:50🔗 Drew How long before it turned black?

20:53🔗 Guest It was probably about a week.

20:56🔗 Adam Seems fast.

20:57🔗 Drew Seems a little fast. And then what does the rash look like? This is never good, but...

21:00🔗 Guest It's just really red, just right around my mouth area.

21:04🔗 Drew Is your tongue sore? Your cheeks sore?

21:07🔗 Guest Not really. It's just like my lips and right around my mouth.

21:11🔗 Caller Good times.

21:12🔗 Drew On the outside?

21:14🔗 Guest Yeah.

21:15🔗 Adam That's where the semen hit you?

21:17🔗 Guest Yeah.

21:18🔗 Caller All right.

21:19🔗 Adam What are you going to do?

21:21🔗 Guest I don't know.

21:22🔗 Adam That's your dad's like, what happened to you, sweetie? Interesting story. You know Jim, right? What's that? He's got a C ring. That's more of a C bracelet. Anyway, what's for dinner? All right. This guy sounds like a perfect gentleman.

21:40🔗 Drew Could be herpes.

21:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

21:42🔗 Drew That's always a possibility. Could be yeast.

21:44🔗 Guest Well, he's been tested for STDs. We both went down and got tested together.

21:48🔗 Drew Well, there is no test for herpes.

21:49🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm going herpes on this one.

21:51🔗 Drew Yeah. But the herpes would be inside the mouth too though. So it's kind of weird. So I don't quite know. It may be related to the tooth injury. Maybe there's infection in there and somehow you react to that. Again, it makes me, do you have cracks in the corner of your mouth?

22:06🔗 Guest Yeah.

22:07🔗 Drew That makes me think of yeast.

22:09🔗 Adam How about you go to the dentist?

22:11🔗 Guest Well, it's, I don't know, it's just really embarrassing because we went to get pictures taken and everybody's like, what's with your black tooth grin? And I was like, shut up. Do you don't make fun of me?

22:20🔗 Drew Well Jessica, get that tooth saved. That tooth's probably dead already.

22:23🔗 Adam One more, one more. Someone has to write these examples down of why, when I go home, I'm going to do a mosaic of why we have a decoupage, a collage of why we have the dumbest colors because it's like, whenever I say something like, well, why don't you go get this thing taken care of? They just give you an example of why you need to take care of it. Why don't you go to the dentist and have this checked out? Oh man, we were going to take pictures the other day and the dude was like, why is your tooth black?

22:57🔗 Drew I told him to shut up.

22:58🔗 Yeah.

22:59🔗 Adam Why aren't you? Here's my follow-up question. Why aren't you going to the dentist? I told you.

23:05🔗 Drew I told the guy to shut up.

23:06🔗 Adam Okay. Now, you told the guy to shut up at the photo, Matt. Now, why aren't you going to the dentist?

23:12🔗 Guest Because I don't have any money for it. All right.

23:15🔗 Adam Well, there's an answer.

23:16🔗 Drew Well, go to their county facilities, dental schools. Go check it out. You got to save this tooth. It may be too late anyway.

23:21🔗 Guest I mean, I can't just be like, oh yeah.

23:23🔗 Drew You tell him you bit on a fork and you cracked your tooth. Come on.

23:28🔗 Guest It's not cracked.

23:29🔗 Drew Or whatever and suddenly hurt. Come on.

23:31🔗 Adam Jessica, please tell me this is a bogus call.

23:35🔗 Guest No.

23:36🔗 Adam Well, you don't think there's anything that could cause any kind of tooth trauma? The only way someone has lost a tooth is because of the evacuation of a C ring?

23:49🔗 Guest I don't know what to tell them. I mean, I'm not good at coming up with excuses.

23:54🔗 Drew Jessica, here's what you need to know. The history is not important. What they see when they examine is what's important. You just tell them you banged your tooth on something and this is what happened a week later, that's it. You're chewing on some ice, pow.

24:09🔗 Guest So if I don't go, will I just walk around with a black-toothed grin forever?

24:12🔗 Caller Or it will fall out.

24:14🔗 Adam I think this is bogus now.

24:16🔗 Drew Nobody would think of a black-toothed grin. They wouldn't think of it. It's too specific. One of our callers...

24:21🔗 Adam Jessica, please, please tell us this is bogus.

24:24🔗 Guest No, it's not. I'm seriously giving my boyfriend a head.

24:28🔗 Adam No, okay.

24:29🔗 Drew Yes, we understand.

24:30🔗 Adam We understand.

24:31🔗 Drew No, that's what made it real.

24:32🔗 Adam Okay, do you have any children?

24:37🔗 Drew No.

24:38🔗 Adam Please, please sew your vagina shut.

24:41🔗 Drew Stay with the oral.

24:42🔗 Adam Just with the oral.

24:45🔗 Drew Here's the deal, Jessica, you're going to have to see somebody about that rash anyway, and a dentist should be able to take care of it, I would think.

24:51🔗 Adam All right.

24:52🔗 Drew She wants to argue with us about this?

24:53🔗 Caller Go to the goddamn dentist, you have a black tooth.

24:56🔗 Drew Go to the county facility, dental services, or go to dental school. There you go, it's all you got to do.

25:02🔗 Adam Here's the good news, it probably didn't hurt her in the looks department. Probably, well, she does have that black tooth. It fit. Or why don't you just leave it in and just take a sharpie to it and have it actually look like it's missing, like you got in a hockey fight. All right, let's take a break.

25:20🔗 Drew Where are we? We're taking a break.

25:21🔗 Adam Anthrax shots.

25:22🔗 Drew No, break, break, break.

25:23🔗 Adam Stays erect after sex.

25:24🔗 Drew I want to keep my options open when I get back.

25:26🔗 Adam All right, we'll be back after this.

25:32🔗 Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

25:36🔗 Loveline is brought to you by the American Legacy Foundation. Truth-promoting, well-informed decision since 1999.

26:03🔗 Caller Yeah, Loveline.

26:06🔗 Adam Slash a little water on my face, now I'm ready to rock.

26:09🔗 Drew You can tell.

26:09🔗 Adam Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Let me say this, Drew.

26:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

26:15🔗 Adam I was talking about panda bears today.

26:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

26:19🔗 Adam I watched, I was watching the news last night, and a panda bear gave birth in the Washington DC Zoo.

26:27🔗 Drew Yeah.

26:27🔗 Adam Heard about that?

26:28🔗 Drew Yeah, I did.

26:29🔗 Adam And here's the thing, you know I've always had a beef about the pandas and about the Chinese and about all the hoops. We have to jump through to get hold of these things.

26:37🔗 Caller Yes.

26:37🔗 Adam We have to kiss their ass, we have to name Mitsuk and Ling Ling and Bok Choi and other crap like that. Meanwhile, we give them hundreds of thousands of dollars, we bring them millions, we bring them over here, we take care of them. They only lease them to us, they don't sell them to us. Then when they give birth here, they have a lease on the kid, it's like two years, and they give us a goddamn list of approved Chinese names for the kid.

27:04🔗 Drew Wow.

27:05🔗 Adam Let me just tell you, first order of business when I'm in charge.

27:08🔗 Drew Oh, I know.

27:10🔗 Adam Hey. Is this on? Yeah. Attention, this is around I speak. Whatever these wretched creatures are on our soil, we're keeping them. That's number one. We don't lease animals. The moose you have, and the donkey, keep it. We're going to keep these pandas, number one. Number two, they're not that great. They're surly animals who we have to beg to F one another.

27:36🔗 Drew They're not bears.

27:38🔗 Adam They're not even bears. They sit there and eat bamboo. That's about it. I think the reason we like them is because they sit on their fat ass when we look at their little cute paws all day long. But we're not choosing a name off your stupid approved list, and I guarantee there's no Brad or Larry on that list. It's just a whole bunch of crappy Chinese names. We're not choosing that. You know why? Because he was born on American soil. You know what that makes him?

28:02🔗 Drew Citizen.

28:03🔗 Adam That makes him a citizen. These United States, my brother, and the little panda, little Fred, he's staying. He's Jake, Ernie, Jim. I just like to piss him off just by calling him Jim. He's Jim. We're calling him Jim.

28:20🔗 Drew Panda Jim.

28:21🔗 Adam Yeah, and they're like, why you? Because we want to. That's why we're calling him Jim. He stays. You take the fat ones that don't want to F, you take them back. We'll take Jim, and don't worry, we're going to clone them from now on. You don't need any more you fat pandas over here that won't F each other. By the way, is there another animal that dislikes F-ing as much as pandas?

28:42🔗 Drew I know.

28:43🔗 Adam We sit and stare at them for 10 years. Would you please F that other panda?

28:47🔗 Drew Now, give him a little break. You don't know who they're in the cage with. You know what I'm saying?

28:51🔗 Adam Yeah, maybe it's a bulldike panda and the guys are not into it. We give them Viagra, we show them Panda Porn, we give them all sorts of stuff that will not F each other.

29:00🔗 Drew That's funny.

29:01🔗 Adam Other animals cannot not F. Other animals F so much they F things out of their species. They also just F sofa pillows and beanbag chairs and throw rugs. Animal, a dog will F anything, a horse will F a mailbox.

29:21🔗 Caller That's not true.

29:26🔗 Adam A horse would F a squid if it could swim. You know what I mean? There's nothing a horse won't. Horses just start F-ing stuff. Rhinos, everything. They just hump. There's no animal that doesn't just F its brains out constantly. These Pandas can't get them to do it. In the Spanish fly, play a little music for them, give them a little Viagra. Nothing.

29:46🔗 Drew I did a piece. What?

29:48🔗 Adam I'm just going to say, I think it would be funny.

29:50🔗 Drew What's that?

29:51🔗 Adam If the Panda, first off, we got the two Pandas together and we show them a little Panda porn, give them a little Viagra, see if we can get it. We came back into the Cape Game, a little privacy and we come back and the Panda is just getting oral. He's getting a nice BJ and then later on, we come back and he's giving it to her but it's in the ass. It's just in the ass because I really think this is the next step of a Panda punishment. I think they mock us and then he's having intercourse. He's actually having, it looks like he always pulled out, he's finished on her chest. Yeah, remember her face used to be black and white, it's just white. That would be the ultimate if China could train a Panda bear to just pull out at the last.

30:43🔗 Drew That's the one that's leased, that's the one that's leased.

30:44🔗 Adam They just leased the ones to pull out, it must be. They're probably midgets and little Panda outfits.

30:49🔗 Drew I just did a thing for my Discovery Health Channel show and we did chimpanzees, you know how chimpanzees like humans and chimpanzees ain't got that problem.

30:57🔗 Adam Oh no.

30:58🔗 Drew They can come out with babies every morning, it's like chickens, it's like, what did we do here?

31:03🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

31:03🔗 Drew They had to give vasectomies and medication and all the females are on DepoProvera. It's like-

31:09🔗 Adam All the other animals we wish would slow it down a little bit in the effing department, but the one animal we'd like to see do some effing is the Panda, they'll have none of it.

31:21🔗 Drew Thus, it becomes an endangered species.

31:24🔗 Adam All I'm saying-

31:24🔗 Drew That's why the will, the will is expressed through sexuality is a good thing.

31:28🔗 Adam All I'm saying is, if we give China a donkey or moose or something.

31:33🔗 Drew A moose.

31:34🔗 Adam What do you think they're going to call it?

31:36🔗 Drew Lingling.

31:37🔗 Adam That's right. That's right. It's not going to be Fred. I'm just saying this is our Panda, we borned it on this soil.

31:43🔗 Drew Moose has to be called bullwinkle when you send it over there.

31:47🔗 Adam In Washington DC, the capital. Do you know what I'm saying?

31:51🔗 Drew That's a disgrace.

31:51🔗 Adam Here's my thing to China. We'll give you the other ones back, we'll keep this one. Here's the deal. You got a problem? Come get it. Come get it. Yeah, that's right. I didn't think so. I think he had the guts. God damn Panda bears, Drew. I just want to, and it's so funny, because they're talking to all these little kids, they have all these school kids around them watching the news, and they're like, what do you want to call the Panda? And this little black girl is like, Oreo? Which for a minute was weird, and then I thought, oh no, yeah, I get it. I get it. Oreo is a great name for Panda. And then the other kid, we'll call him Trixie or something. All of a sudden, I realized, now it's going to be Mach, Mach, Mush, Mush, Mush.

32:31🔗 Drew Mushu, it's going to be Mushu.

32:33🔗 Adam Yeah, it's going to be Chung-Hwa. You have little, little nine-year-old kids going, let's see Chung-Di-Go Young. People not being able to pronounce the name. Screw that. It's our Panda. Cost us millions of bucks and we don't own it. Please, just keep it true. You know what I'm saying? What do you think most Americans would get behind that? What? Chloe?

33:00🔗 Drew Whoop, can't hear. Chloe?

33:02🔗 Caller Yes.

33:02🔗 Drew There we go. Go ahead, speak up.

33:04🔗 Caller Hi. I have a question. I had a brain injury five years ago.

33:13🔗 Drew What happened?

33:14🔗 Caller Car accident.

33:16🔗 Drew So was it like a skull fracture?

33:18🔗 Caller I don't know.

33:20🔗 Adam Have you ever heard of a flow bee?

33:23🔗 Caller Actually, I have. I used to watch an infomercial.

33:26🔗 Drew Hold on a second. Huh?

33:27🔗 Caller Yeah, the infomercial was great.

33:29🔗 Adam It just keeps getting worse for engineers.

33:31🔗 Drew See, I never watched the infomercial. No kidding. You got that cooler over your head. You can't.

33:37🔗 Caller Yeah, that's right.

33:38🔗 A powerful cooler packed with wet towels and beer. All right, Chloe.

33:43🔗 Drew So you had some sort of concussion or contusion. What kind of injury did you have?

33:48🔗 Caller I don't know. It's kind of a long story how it happened.

33:54🔗 Drew Let me just ask you, did you need a brain surgery?

33:56🔗 Adam Yeah, what do you mean a long story? Did you get whacked in the head or did you have like a tumor?

34:00🔗 Drew Car accident, she said.

34:00🔗 Caller Car accident.

34:01🔗 Adam Oh, she had a car accident.

34:04🔗 Drew Did you need a surgery?

34:06🔗 Caller No, I had, they said, I don't know this is all what everyone has said. I had something, some kind of, I don't know what it was, something in my head. They had to shave my head part of it and all I know it was traumatic brain injury and I was in a coma for a week.

34:28🔗 Adam If they had to shave your head, they had to go in, right?

34:30🔗 Drew Well, they may have just put a ventriculostomy under there and they were in a coma for how long?

34:34🔗 Caller I was in a coma for a week and a half.

34:36🔗 Drew All right, so you at least had some sort of very severe, probably a contusion. Did you have any bleeding in the brain?

34:43🔗 Caller I don't know.

34:44🔗 Drew Did they need to evacuate some blood from your skull?

34:46🔗 Caller I don't know.

34:47🔗 Drew Is there still a hole in your skull?

34:49🔗 Caller No.

34:50🔗 Drew Okay. So you had some kind of significant injury, probably contusion.

34:53🔗 Adam Chloe doesn't sweat the details.

34:54🔗 Drew I know. Well, I like the way she doesn't trust what everyone who actually was awake looking at her, tells her about what happened. Yeah, they say.

35:02🔗 Adam She's had a brain injury.

35:03🔗 Drew Well, she should be fine now, but it certainly can affect, you can have long-term changes in personality, memory, mood, those sorts of things.

35:11🔗 Caller Well, whenever I woke up, I had to learn everything again. I had to learn my family's names and who I was. One thing that really saved me, and this is my own little commercial or whatever. I had written in a journal since I was 15. And so I got to read my life again, and that was really good.

35:36🔗 Drew Could you remember any of it as you read it?

35:39🔗 Caller Some. Not a bunch, but I figured that's my handwriting. So once I learned to read again, I had to learn to read again.

35:49🔗 Adam I'd finish my journal and kill myself. Barely graduated high school, I didn't get laid, and I started cleaning carpets. What the? This sucks.

35:57🔗 Drew Thank God I'm starting again.

35:59🔗 Adam No, I'd be like, please, too bad that car didn't finish me off. This is horrible. I can't believe this is my life. This sucks.

36:06🔗 Drew So how are you doing now? Are you able to function normally?

36:09🔗 Caller Yeah, for the most part. I have horrible problems with depression.

36:16🔗 Adam None of that before the head trauma?

36:19🔗 Caller Mild, I think, depression, but nothing like what I have now. That's awesome. Stabilizing. I've got a neuropsychologist, or a psychiatrist, I've got a psychiatrist, I've got a psychologist, and, you know, all of these people that, they can't really tell me anything, and that's why I'm calling.

36:44🔗 Drew Well, hang on, Chloe.

36:46🔗 Adam It seems like they're telling you a fair amount of stuff.

36:48🔗 Drew Yeah, if they can't tell you anything, there's nothing more to be told.

36:52🔗 Caller Yeah, I mean, you know, I don't, I have asked if my depression is because of the brain injury, you know?

37:04🔗 Drew I would say yes. I think it's a reasonable bet.

37:06🔗 Adam How about your family? Do they have depression?

37:10🔗 Caller My mom and, well, my grandmother is bipolar.

37:16🔗 Drew But you're prone to depression. That's fine. But the head injury certainly could bring these things on. So there you go.

37:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:22🔗 Drew All right. And so?

37:23🔗 Caller And then, you know, I got married. I've been married for three years.

37:29🔗 Drew All right.

37:30🔗 Caller And since, you know, I really have a hard time with sexual stuff. I mean, I'm not very sexual. The antidepressants are just-

37:43🔗 Drew They shut you down. Sure.

37:45🔗 Caller Yeah. And I was just wondering if there was anything that-

37:49🔗 Caller What?

37:50🔗 Drew I want to- I didn't hear the question.

37:52🔗 Adam Well, what do you do? You're shut down. Well, she-

37:55🔗 Drew Actually, she considers electric shock therapy.

37:58🔗 Adam Oh, really?

37:58🔗 Drew Yeah. That's something that doesn't necessarily have those side effects, and then she's off it, gets it done, and then she's off to some other side.

38:06🔗 Adam Is that good if you've had a brain injury?

38:08🔗 Drew Well, it's very powerful. It's had a bad rap over the years, but it's basically doing the same thing as the medication. It's just doing it in a treatment episode where you conduct an electrical current through the brain that raises all the chemical levels.

38:22🔗 Adam I think it freaks people out, but...

38:24🔗 Drew Well, their sense is somehow they're having a seizure. No, you lie there, you're asleep. A current goes through your head, you wake up, and that's that. It's a very simple procedure.

38:31🔗 Adam People say it's really effective.

38:33🔗 Drew It is really effective. It's for recalcitrant depressions for people that are, in particular, biologically-based depressions. Sometimes nothing else works.

38:40🔗 Adam Chloe, how about a little electroshock therapy?

38:43🔗 Drew Have you thought about that?

38:44🔗 Caller I actually really, I really...

38:49🔗 Drew Have they brought that up to you?

38:51🔗 Caller No, no they haven't. I think maybe I heard something about it one time, not very long.

38:59🔗 Adam All right.

39:00🔗 Drew Here are the deals in the medication that don't affect your libido. There's wellbutrin, serizone, remeron. Those are the three that will not affect libido. Just about everything else can or will. The other thing is, you've had a head injury, you should see an endocrinologist to make sure that things are sort of hormonally intact. Your pituitary can get kind of knocked around by all these kinds of things too. So you may have decreased levels of testosterone or estrogen, and replacement of those can be very important as well.

39:26🔗 Adam What would be a good name for that panda? Owl.

39:29🔗 Drew Owl?

39:29🔗 Adam Just Owl.

39:30🔗 Drew Owl. Yeah, Owl the Panda. It'd be perfect.

39:33🔗 Adam Just Owl.

39:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

39:34🔗 Adam Real short, super short.

39:36🔗 Drew Yeah, it'd be Owl's Place.

39:38🔗 Adam Just Owl. And like the Chinese ambassador would be all outraged. You'd give a list that has five million characters on it, Chinese characters on it, we have to pick from. And we went with Owl. Here's a bomb. Take it back with you. Should we be bombing China?

39:57🔗 Drew No, Adam, no.

39:58🔗 Adam Why not?

39:59🔗 Drew No, it's because it's bad. It's bad. Violence is bad.

40:02🔗 Adam Listen, I don't know that much about China, but if this panda bear thing is-

40:05🔗 Drew Yeah, it's us.

40:06🔗 Adam Any example of their attitude.

40:08🔗 Drew It's us being pussies. It's not them. It's us.

40:12🔗 Adam Imagine if a president just had to wave us to talk about that stuff. Just right in the middle of a rousing speech and you know another thing? F those Chinese, we're keeping the panda. It's ours. Paid millions for it. Yeah?

40:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

40:26🔗 Adam Yeah?

40:27🔗 Drew Just saying.

40:27🔗 Adam And I'm going to mate him with a bald eagle. Going to have an eagle panda, winged panda, chupa panda.

40:36🔗 Drew Just a feathered panda.

40:37🔗 Yeah.

40:39🔗 Adam All right, let's take a breakthrough. Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

40:41🔗 Drew Talking to Anthony.

40:42🔗 Adam Anthony stays erect after sex for an hour.

40:45🔗 Drew Yeesh.

40:46🔗 Caller Something happened.

40:47🔗 Adam We'll take a quick break. Talk to him after this.

40:50🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

40:56🔗 Adam Want to dress up your sex life? Visit durex.com. There's sex and then there's durex.

41:37🔗 Caller Yeah. There you go, everybody. Loveline, Adam, that's Drew. Let's keep on partying here.

41:43🔗 Adam What do you say, buddy?

41:44🔗 Guest Let's go.

41:45🔗 Drew Break it down.

41:45🔗 Adam Earn our keep. Anthony?

41:47🔗 Guest Yes. Hello?

41:48🔗 Adam 21.

41:48🔗 Drew Here we go.

41:49🔗 Adam Here we go.

41:52🔗 Guest I broke my back about a year and a half ago.

41:54🔗 Drew What do you mean you broke your back?

41:56🔗 Guest I rolled the ATV about 70, 80 miles an hour.

41:59🔗 Drew That's so you got a fracture of one. Two vertebrae. Shattered two vertebrae. Got it. Okay.

42:04🔗 Guest And since my accident, I've noticed that I have a slightly different erectile dysfunction. After sex or after masturbation, I stay erect.

42:14🔗 Drew Are you on medication now?

42:16🔗 Guest No, I'm not.

42:18🔗 Drew Were you for any period of time?

42:20🔗 Guest I was. I was on a lot of different stuff, some antidepressants, some seizure medication, Vicodin, I mean pretty much everything under the sun.

42:29🔗 Drew How long have you been off the stuff?

42:31🔗 Guest For about six months.

42:34🔗 Drew You're on nothing now, huh?

42:36🔗 Guest Yes.

42:38🔗 Drew Not even antihistamines or anything like that?

42:41🔗 Guest No. They have me taking the Vicodin normally and some other stuff for like my bladder, but I quit doing all that because the pain medication was just making me constipated, so I just.

42:51🔗 Drew Stopped it six months ago?

42:53🔗 Guest Yes.

42:54🔗 Drew Okay. Funny. It's hard to make sense of that. I wonder if he was out of command. I don't know.

43:02🔗 Adam Yeah. Let me just say this. I don't know about boners, but all-terrain vehicles.

43:07🔗 Drew Yeah. Is that what he rolled? He said?

43:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

43:10🔗 Drew 80 miles an hour on an all-terrain vehicle?

43:12🔗 Adam 70 or 80, yeah. Well, they'll get going. Here's the thing. Haven't we learned a lesson from Ozzy Osborne? Number one. Number two, those things are the most dangerous things in the world.

43:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:22🔗 Adam You want to know why though?

43:23🔗 Drew Why?

43:23🔗 Adam I'll tell you why.

43:23🔗 Drew Why?

43:24🔗 Adam Because it's not like you can't kill yourself on a dirt bike.

43:28🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:28🔗 Adam It's basically two wheels and this thing is three or four.

43:31🔗 Drew It's the weight?

43:32🔗 Adam Well, the thing lands on you sometimes. But the real reason people, beside their unwieldy, they always roll and stuff. But the real reason people have themselves up on that is, when you get on a dirt bike, it's like what? Gear up, boots, helmet, pads, whole thing. Chest protector, put my leathers on, gloves. Guys gear up to get on a motorcycle. They get on the ATV, they're wearing flip-flops and cut-offs. Yeah. They're like, I'm just going to take a-

43:58🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:58🔗 Adam I'm going down.

43:59🔗 Drew They get going, it sounds like they get going fast.

44:02🔗 Adam What ends up happening, I'm not saying this is what happened to this kid, but what ends up happening is it's four wheels. It doesn't feel like a motorcycle, doesn't feel that dangerous, so they just hop on with the flip-flops and the cut-offs, and they're just going to go down to the stream, and they've had a couple of beers and they go pick up their son. As they get a little more comfortable on it or wherever, they start sort of hot-dogging, and the next thing you know thing rolls on them, and they're naked.

44:26🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're right.

44:27🔗 Adam They're not wearing helmets, they're not wearing pads, they're not wearing boots, they're not wearing all the stuff that these guys wear when they go out dirt bike riding. Thank you, Drew. It's the same thing with firecrackers. Here's what happens with firecrackers. This is why you blow your hand off. You get an M80.

44:43🔗 Drew Oh, an M80.

44:44🔗 Adam Or even a regular one.

44:45🔗 Drew Okay.

44:46🔗 Adam You get an M80 and it's like this. All right, listen. Put it out in the sand, light a stick.

44:51🔗 Drew Run.

44:51🔗 Adam You lean over with that stick, light the fuse and then start running. Everyone runs, the thing blows up.

44:57🔗 Drew Fast forward. Two hours.

44:58🔗 Adam Two hours. Twelve beers. Listen, I'm going to light this thing off a Tiparilla. I'm going to be hanging on it and then the guy's going, okay, this time let the fuse burn down a little so when you throw it, it blows up in the air instead of landing in the sand. Then the hand blows off. It's the part where you get comfortable with it.

45:15🔗 Drew With dangerous things.

45:16🔗 Adam Yes. Now, here's the deal. You should always be a little bit scared of a motorcycle. You should always be a little bit scared of a firecracker. You should always be a little bit scared of an ATV. You lose your fear of the ATV because you see some chick putting around on one through the campsite with her daughter, sitting on the fuel tank and the kids in a diaper. You're like, let me hop on that thing. That's where the trouble begins.

45:37🔗 Drew You're right. You're absolutely right.

45:39🔗 Adam Wow, Drew. It takes a big man to admit when I'm right. Sarah?

45:43🔗 Drew No, no, Anthony. We're not done with him.

45:44🔗 Adam Yes. He's fine.

45:45🔗 Drew All right. I don't know what that erection thing is all about. Maybe he was at a commission for a while, maybe it's something to do with withdrawal from the medications he was on. I doubt it's something structural with the back injury, unless you're having other motor or neurologic symptoms associated with your previous injury.

45:58🔗 Adam Sarah.

46:00🔗 Caller Yes.

46:00🔗 Adam 22.

46:02🔗 Caller Yes.

46:03🔗 Adam You slept with your friend's husband and got pregnant?

46:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:08🔗 Drew Do you have other kids?

46:09🔗 Caller No.

46:11🔗 Guest I'm kind of freaked out because I came from a really strong Mormon family.

46:18🔗 Adam Were you having an ongoing affair with this guy or was this a one-time thing?

46:23🔗 Guest Just one time. I've had a thing for him for a long time.

46:27🔗 Drew You're a Mormon?

46:28🔗 Adam Yeah. A thing for him or a thing against the best friend?

46:33🔗 Guest A thing for him.

46:35🔗 Drew A thing against the best friend, against the husband, and against the family of origin.

46:39🔗 Adam Right.

46:39🔗 Drew A little resentful.

46:40🔗 Adam Do I just sit there and do nothing? Is this the husband of your best friend or just a friend?

46:46🔗 Guest A husband of my best friend.

46:48🔗 Drew You're a Mormon? How long have you been your best friend?

46:51🔗 Caller For like six years.

46:53🔗 Adam Six years?

46:54🔗 Drew Wow. Is that a way to treat the best friend? Just curious.

47:00🔗 Guest I couldn't help myself.

47:02🔗 Drew Interesting. Let's get back to her after the break. We want to talk more.

47:05🔗 Adam There's a lot here. Hang on. Keep Sarah on hold because I think there's a lot of gold to mine from Sarah. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

48:06🔗 Caller Yeah!

48:08🔗 Caller Little system of a down.

48:10🔗 Adam Rocking. Changing their sound a little bit.

48:13🔗 Caller I like it though.

48:14🔗 Adam Hey, that's a stone gas jam. Stone jam.

48:18🔗 Drew That's what that is.

48:19🔗 Adam Stone jam. Yeah. Our good friends, System of a Down, John and Shavo and Ling Ling, Mitsuk and Chenghua, great guys.

48:32🔗 Caller Awesome.

48:33🔗 Adam Still pissed off about that Armenian genocide by the way.

48:37🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

48:37🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

48:38🔗 Drew Let's talk about a traumatized population. You can't meet an Armenian without them bringing that up.

48:43🔗 Adam Can't judge, unfortunately.

48:44🔗 Drew Speaking of Ling Ling and the Pandas, remember the guy that pissed you off so badly when he tried to sell you knives?

48:49🔗 Adam Yeah.

48:50🔗 Drew What was his name? Sing Sing? Bing Bing?

48:51🔗 Adam I think it was Ling Ling.

48:52🔗 Drew Was it?

48:53🔗 Adam Yeah.

48:54🔗 Drew Pan Pan.

48:55🔗 Adam Pan Pan.

48:57🔗 Caller Anderson.

48:59🔗 Adam Yeah. Here's what happened. What's wrong with people? What's wrong with your wife? What's wrong with Pan Pan? There was a guy who was-

49:10🔗 Drew It's a high school graduate.

49:11🔗 Adam High school graduate. He went to your high school?

49:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

49:13🔗 Adam Alumni of your high school. He was like a volleyball coach or something.

49:18🔗 Drew He still is. He was a good coach to my daughter still.

49:20🔗 Adam I wouldn't trust that guy. If I had a pet raccoon, I wouldn't let that guy around it. This guy. So anyway, what happens is one day, it's a Sunday morning. I remember as if it was yesterday. It's a Sunday morning and I'm driving my car for some reason, for some unknown reason. It's like 9, 10 in the morning and I'm driving my car on a Sunday morning. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know why I'm up, but I'm in my car and I'm driving down Franklin Boulevard. My cell phone rings and it's Pan Pan. Who? Pan Pan. Who are you? Yeah, Drew's wife. Yeah. She told me to call you. Why? I sell knives. On my cell phone? She gave me your number.

50:16🔗 Drew You're like, oh my God.

50:18🔗 Adam What do you mean you sell knives? I sold her some knives. You want to buy some knives?

50:23🔗 Caller What?

50:24🔗 Adam How did you get my number? Drew's wife gave it to me. But she gave a cell phone number? Yeah. And what do you do? You're surgeon? You took it?

50:37🔗 Drew You called it?

50:38🔗 Adam No, I sell knives. You want to buy some knives? Sell high quality knives. Okay, first off, I can't believe your wife is giving out my cell phone number to some guy selling knives. Oh my God.

50:52🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

50:53🔗 Adam Oh, Drew, I don't want to say how to conduct yourself.

50:56🔗 Drew That was awesome.

50:57🔗 Adam That was my wife. I would be the F out of her.

50:59🔗 Caller I should go home and beat the crap out of her.

51:01🔗 Adam So I'm like, look, okay, so what do you want? I sell knives. Drew's wife bought some. Yeah. Okay. Listen, you know what? Go to Loveline. Go meet me and Drew over there and show me what you got. I'll buy some steak knives off of you or something. Anything to get them off the phone. So I get them off the phone.

51:21🔗 Drew And eat this phone number.

51:23🔗 Adam Yeah. So he comes in a couple of days later, maybe that night, whatever. I'm looking at the catalog and these knives aren't cheap. You want to get a good set, it's like five grand or something. But he shows me a couple of real high-end cleavers. By the way, there's something nice about a cleaver. Yeah. There's something nice about nice cutlery. It's just, well, I ain't crafted in West Germany, you know. It just feels good, you know. So I'm like, what's one of those cleavers set you back? It's like, I don't know, 115 bucks a cleaver. I'm like, you know what? Give me two of those. Give me one for me and I'm going to buy one for my pal, Jimmy. I bet he could use one of those two, and immediately starts in, that's it? Yeah. That's all? You're not going to buy anything else? With tax, I got 250 bucks worth of cleaver there. Now, how about some steak knives? No, I don't want any steak knives. How about this? He just keeps going. He would not shut his face.

52:21🔗 Drew He was following you around with the breaks and stuff.

52:23🔗 Adam He was following you around, come on, why don't you buy more, buy more, buy more, buy more.

52:25🔗 Drew But then he got kind of indignant.

52:27🔗 Adam He got PO'd.

52:28🔗 Drew Yeah, like, you're not, what the hell?

52:31🔗 Adam Yeah, he got weird on us. And I was like, look, I don't want any knives. I just threw you a bone. And by the way, $250 on cleavers are more than the entire Corolla clan has spent on automobiles in the last 20 years. Are you kidding? Give me $250 for something. I don't even, it's sort of almost a novelty just to sort of shut you up and get you off my back. And you ride me like a rented mule now. So he kept going. He kept going. I just remember Jimmy was doing the radio show that night.

53:05🔗 Drew Well, that's right.

53:06🔗 Adam And I think Sandpan was giving us a hard time or something. And Jimmy and I called him and just started yelling at him. And then Jimmy said, look, F you. And Jimmy just canceled called like the credit card company and canceled the Cleavers, in which case he was wounded and PO'd by the way Pan Pan was. And I just remember, first off, here's the deal. I'm like a not I'm beyond a serial killer. I'm like a Nazi serial killer when it comes to this sort of like, oh, you're wounded. Oh, I hurt your feelings. All I can do is laugh. I don't give a rat's ass. I did you a favor, you idiot. You rode me and you rode me and I told you to back off. You rode a little more and now you got zero. I got zero problem with that. That's how I want life to run, everybody.

53:55🔗 Drew That's justice.

53:57🔗 Adam Look, if you say to the neighbor, look, stay out of the yard. It's got some mines. It's mine with bouncing bettys. You give them a few warnings, they hop over the fence once and you catch them telling, second or third time he's over the fence, blows his leg off, good. Fine. Warned you five times. You kept going, now you got nothing. And here's what you should use this as. Use it as a lesson. Learning. Yes. Take it as a lesson. Stop riding the round eye.

54:23🔗 Caller Remember he called in the next night?

54:25🔗 Adam He got called in, PO'd, indignant. So all just some kind of weird nightmare that by the way started with your wife, giving him my cell phone number. The most intrusive volleyball coach I've ever met. I've only met one, but still intrusive. Yeah, Pan Pan just ride me. So good, screw him. He ain't selling the cleavers. And I'm sure I'm going to end up on some emergency room gurney 10 years from now and I'm going to be looking up at him through bloodshot eyes and he's going to be looking over me laughing. That's the last thing I'm going to go under.

55:02🔗 Drew I'm going to give you one.

55:04🔗 Caller Right.

55:06🔗 Adam Don't trust your kids around that guy. God, what an a-hole. Jesus Christ.

55:12🔗 Drew I think he grew up. He went off to Yale.

55:14🔗 Adam It'd be nice. Good. I hope he stays there.

55:16🔗 Drew All right, Sarah. So you'd had sex with your best friend's husband, best friend of six years. How long have you been married?

55:23🔗 Guest I haven't.

55:24🔗 Drew Oh, you're not married?

55:26🔗 Guest No, and he was my first.

55:28🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

55:30🔗 Adam I mean, he was your first few months ago, few weeks ago.

55:36🔗 Caller Yeah, just like, yeah.

55:38🔗 Drew How long ago? How pregnant are you?

55:40🔗 Guest I'm a month.

55:41🔗 Adam One month?

55:43🔗 Guest Yeah.

55:43🔗 Adam Are you a big gal? No.

55:46🔗 Guest I'm only like a hundred pounds.

55:48🔗 Drew You a Mormon? Yeah.

55:51🔗 Adam True spanning average is a thousand on that. I should say Anderson's.

55:55🔗 Drew Only thing in life.

55:56🔗 Caller And they absolutely can rely upon it.

55:58🔗 Adam The only thing you can rely upon is not really you doing it.

56:00🔗 Caller No.

56:02🔗 Adam So, Sarah, why is it you were a virgin up until a few weeks back?

56:10🔗 Guest I just committed myself to the Lord, so. But he just.

56:14🔗 Adam You've done a fine job hopping on your best friend's husband.

56:17🔗 Guest He turned me on so much, and I just couldn't help myself anymore.

56:22🔗 Drew So he sort of participated in this? He really made it worse for you.

56:29🔗 Caller Oh, yes, he did.

56:31🔗 Adam Is he in love? Well, you're in love with him.

56:34🔗 Caller Oh, yes.

56:35🔗 Guest I'm so afraid to tell him that I'm pregnant with his baby. I have to tell my best friend.

56:41🔗 Adam Is he in love with you?

56:43🔗 Guest I don't know.

56:44🔗 Drew No, no. Sarah, don't even think that that's a possibility.

56:48🔗 Adam Do they have kids?

56:51🔗 Guest No.

56:51🔗 Drew Okay, good.

56:52🔗 Adam You sure?

56:53🔗 Guest Yes, I'm sure.

56:54🔗 Adam Usually when guys knock people up, they just knock everything that moves up.

56:57🔗 Drew Well, they're only 22. This guy may be just getting going on that rap.

57:01🔗 Adam How old is he?

57:03🔗 Guest I think he's 24.

57:05🔗 Adam 24. You say you've been into him for quite some time.

57:09🔗 Guest Yeah.

57:10🔗 Adam What's so good about him?

57:11🔗 Guest He's like three years.

57:12🔗 Drew You a Mormon? What is it you're into about him?

57:15🔗 Guest He's the bad boy.

57:16🔗 Guest I'll tattoo that and...

57:18🔗 Drew Fantastic.

57:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:21🔗 Guest It really turns me on.

57:23🔗 Adam Just with your folks' head and mind. Do you understand? You know what I was basically saying? I was saying earlier today that look, if you're going to ram this retarded religious crap up your kid's ass, your kid becomes like... I said landmine earlier today. It's sort of like you step on a landmine and it's fine. You just got to keep your foot down. If you lift it up, it's going off. If you decide you're going to go the retarded, nonsensical religious route with your kid, all the way, they have to stay at home until they're 50. The second you move their foot, boom, they're on top of the Hell's Angel down the street.

57:59🔗 Drew Here's what concerns me is that it's one thing to teach people chastity. It's another to teach them that sex is bad, that part of themself that is sexual is bad. Then they can only experience their sexuality with bad people.

58:13🔗 Adam Right.

58:13🔗 Drew With dangerous, problematic, chaotic. Otherwise, that part of themself is walled off from themself. They can't let it open. And that's where things really go off track.

58:25🔗 Adam All right, Sarah, how about a nice big abortion?

58:29🔗 Guest I'm against it though.

58:31🔗 Adam All right.

58:32🔗 Guest I want the baby because I want some part of him.

58:36🔗 Drew Oh, my God, Sarah. Oh, boy.

58:38🔗 Adam What does he do for a living?

58:41🔗 Guest He does sheet rock.

58:43🔗 Drew Sheet rock.

58:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:45🔗 Adam Drew, remember we discussed this last night.

58:47🔗 Drew Yes, we did. They're just below roofers.

58:50🔗 Adam Yeah, it goes on the dirt bag.

58:52🔗 Drew Welding, welding roofers, sheet rock.

58:54🔗 Adam The dirt bag. Yeah, the flow chart. The dirt bag construction flow chart. Welder, roofer, drywaller.

59:02🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:02🔗 Adam Hold on. Sarah, is this a bogus call or are you really just as stupid at 22?

59:07🔗 Guest Apparently, I'm stupid.

59:09🔗 Adam Okay. Now I feel.

59:11🔗 Drew Oh, there we go.

59:14🔗 Adam Oh, oh.

59:16🔗 Drew May be the same girl. Yeah.

59:17🔗 Adam She's talking about a band.

59:19🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe that's where the black tooth thing came in.

59:23🔗 Adam No.

59:25🔗 Drew Remember she said she had a black tooth grin, broke her tooth, ended up with a black tooth grin? So that could have been a diabolical version of the same thing.

59:37🔗 Adam Well, last night, someone called in and yelled the band out. I don't want to get into it.

59:42🔗 Drew They've been cut out.

59:43🔗 Adam Anderson cuts them out because that's the whole deal. If you call the show and you shout out a web address or band name or something, Anderson will just cut it out.

59:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:53🔗 Adam I would ask him to cut it out, but I've lost my will to host.

59:58🔗 Drew Or live.

59:59🔗 Adam Well, that's clear. Yeah. But now host. I used to not have the will to live, but the will to host.

1:00:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:05🔗 Adam Which is strange because you can't do it from the grave. You know what I mean?

1:00:09🔗 Caller I let plugs go through, but only if they pay me in advance, and I don't like people trying to get freebies.

1:00:14🔗 Adam Yeah. The point is, Anderson is not going to let any of that crap go because he has not lost his will to edit.

1:00:20🔗 Drew With that little grease of the palm.

1:00:22🔗 Caller Plus I've heard that band they're talking about and they suck really bad.

1:00:25🔗 Caller Oh, really?

1:00:26🔗 Adam Oh, man.

1:00:27🔗 Drew Well, here's the deal. Be that as it may, you want to finish that call for people who might be suffering from similar things? No. Because it is an interesting question. I mean, she doesn't believe in premarital sex, but they also don't believe in abortion. How do they solve that situation?

1:00:39🔗 Adam Who cares? The point is, it's funny, she had that right when I made the bogus call, she had that in her hip pocket right to blurt out. But I love him. I knew it was bogus.

1:00:50🔗 Drew Yeah, I was getting the bogus vibe.

1:00:51🔗 Adam You were?

1:00:52🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:52🔗 Adam Pipe up next time.

1:00:53🔗 Drew Well, I was still taking it. It was actually an interesting question, though, that's why.

1:00:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:00:57🔗 Drew All right.

1:00:58🔗 Adam This is Kyle.

1:00:59🔗 Guest Hey, what's up? How you guys doing?

1:01:01🔗 Adam What's happening? 23?

1:01:03🔗 Guest Yes, sir.

1:01:04🔗 Adam You're in the military?

1:01:05🔗 Guest Yes, sir, I am.

1:01:06🔗 Adam What branch?

1:01:08🔗 Caller Army.

1:01:09🔗 Adam Army. All right. And were you posted somewhere? Excited?

1:01:13🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:01:14🔗 Guest I've been deployed twice, and I'm blowing my third one now, so. Wow.

1:01:18🔗 Adam Where were you deployed?

1:01:20🔗 Guest First time, Afghanistan, second time, Iraq.

1:01:24🔗 Adam And now, Hawaii? Where are you going?

1:01:26🔗 Guest Pardon me?

1:01:27🔗 Adam Where are you going? Back to Iraq?

1:01:29🔗 Guest Back to Iraq now.

1:01:30🔗 Caller Get on your knees.

1:01:32🔗 Drew Anything you want to tell everybody about it?

1:01:36🔗 Guest You know, it's a good thing, actually. And we're actually, yeah. You know, the news doesn't say a lot of the good stuff that we do. A lot of, like, setting up hospitals, giving them all kinds of stuff they need and equipment and help, schools, building, refurbishing, and all that kind of stuff. So I really look disappointed in this.

1:01:57🔗 Drew Why are they in such a hurry to get you guys out if so much of what you're doing is helpful?

1:02:02🔗 Guest Who's they?

1:02:02🔗 Drew Well, you hear that supposedly the Iraqis want the Americans out.

1:02:07🔗 Guest They don't. They want us out. But the point is, the thing is, they want us out when time comes. When everything's already done and they're set up. And once they're on their own, they don't want us just sitting there chilling, relaxing.

1:02:20🔗 Drew Are they just afraid that we're going to somehow just hang out there?

1:02:23🔗 Guest Yeah, that's pretty much it. But I mean-

1:02:25🔗 Drew They're paranoid.

1:02:25🔗 Adam Well, they-

1:02:26🔗 Guest About 90% like us and want us there.

1:02:29🔗 Adam And like any F'd up individual, they have a lot of pride. Right. You know what I mean? The more F'd up, the bigger the loser your buddy is, the more pride they seem to have.

1:02:40🔗 Drew Right. More pride is an issue, let's put it that way.

1:02:42🔗 Adam Yeah. The more the guy announces he doesn't take handouts, the more he's got his hand out. Yeah. A lot of pride. They got pride in spades in that part of the world. It's the part where they don't beat the crap out of their women and that sort of stuff. That's the part they're a little bit lacking in. That's all. They're going to focus on that. Pride part. Lots of pride.

1:03:04🔗 Guest They're nice individuals and nice people for the most part.

1:03:08🔗 Adam That's good.

1:03:09🔗 Drew What's going on?

1:03:11🔗 Guest Both my brother and I were both in the military and both been deployed. Actually, he's going on in second term pretty soon. We, since we've been deployed, we both got over the recommended six shots of anthrax. The anthrax protection stuff just because-

1:03:28🔗 Drew The vaccine. Yeah.

1:03:29🔗 Guest Yeah, because of the loss of medical records, stuff like that. Between that and it's an inside joke with us because our memories have pretty much been going downhill. That's a lot of stuff. Since we've been deploying, getting all those shots and everything like that. I'm just wondering, both of us are, if that has anything to do with the anthrax because they never really told us.

1:03:49🔗 Drew Is there anything else you're doing? Do you ever do speed or stimulants of any type?

1:03:53🔗 Guest Oh, no.

1:03:53🔗 Drew Never? No. No history of that?

1:03:56🔗 Guest No history of drugs or anything like that.

1:03:59🔗 Drew Has there been any mood disturbance associated with the memory loss?

1:04:04🔗 Guest Not anything different than you would for getting normally deployed in that situation.

1:04:10🔗 Drew When you say memory, do you mean you have trouble remembering names or new learning or have trouble doing multiple tasks?

1:04:17🔗 Guest More new learning. We could both still do multiple tasks and we both remember stuff from before we started going out and getting deployed and stuff like that. But since we've gone out and stuff, it's just kind of, it's hard to remember new stuff. We've got to actually write stuff down.

1:04:31🔗 Drew Huh, that's interesting.

1:04:32🔗 Guest Kind of getting a pain in the ass and we're both wondering.

1:04:36🔗 Adam All right, hold on a second.

1:04:37🔗 Drew There have been various concerns about the vaccines and the anthrax shots. I remember the Gulf War syndrome, they were worried that that was associated with that, and that was fatigue and low sperm count and anemia, things of that sort.

1:04:48🔗 Adam Even knows, I mean, who knows how the body reacts under these stressful situations?

1:04:53🔗 Drew This kind of memory disturbance he's describing is a pretty significant form of memory loss. It's not the usual sort of aging related thing or drug related problem. It's actually kind of a concern. They should bring it up with the military people, the military officers there.

1:05:09🔗 Adam It seems too esoteric.

1:05:11🔗 Drew No, no, no, because if they were seeing stuff like this, first of all, they'd want to know it. They'd follow it and track it and they should know it if this kind of stuff is being caused by that.

1:05:17🔗 Adam I think you give them too much credit.

1:05:18🔗 Drew And the reality though is there probably isn't much they can do about it, unfortunately. I would bet that once you're sort of out of these extreme circumstances, some of this will settle down.

1:05:27🔗 Adam Also, I agree with that. I also know, I don't know if you feel this way, but I'm personally this way, just weird sort of ebb and flow cycles of being super lucid and having great memory. And then other, it seems like whole months where it's like, hey, I can't really get it together. Don't seem very sharp, you know.

1:05:48🔗 Drew But haven't you noticed that that has been more evident as you've gotten older? You wouldn't have that kind of stuff when you were 23.

1:05:55🔗 Adam No, I know what you're saying, but it wasn't exactly memory, but it was just sort of energy.

1:06:00🔗 Drew Energy then, yeah. Now, maybe it's because you and I have to use, have to express ourselves all the time, but sometimes I can tell I can express myself clearly. Sometimes forget it.

1:06:09🔗 Adam Yeah, but for me, I don't think it was that much different when I was 20. It was like some days were good days, some days were bad days, and maybe some months were good months, and some had to do with sort of affect, and mood, and depression, and that kind of stuff. So it's a hard thing to quantify.

1:06:30🔗 Drew Well, they can. You have to have special tests for it, but it's a hard thing to go after subjectively.

1:06:35🔗 Guest Right.

1:06:36🔗 Drew You have to really measure it.

1:06:37🔗 Adam Kyle?

1:06:38🔗 Guest Yes, sir.

1:06:39🔗 Adam Well, there's no hurt. I mean, here's what I would do. I would talk to other guys in my squad, or platoon, or whatever you're in, other people that have had the anthrax vaccination. Well, that's one guy, and it's his brother. I'd talk to other people casually, and see if you can get a little head count, like what's going on? Do you guys experience any of this? And if enough of them do, then it's time to sort of go in and talk to a doctor about it, and try to get to the bottom of it.

1:07:08🔗 Drew Okay.

1:07:09🔗 Guest Yeah, and I got another question too. Yeah? I don't know. Some people, my friends, laugh at me and stuff, because they say I masturbate excessively, because I'm normally like a fourth time, a four to seven times a day normally.

1:07:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:07:26🔗 Caller Is that normal?

1:07:28🔗 Drew Four to seven.

1:07:29🔗 Adam Well, you're trapped in a tent.

1:07:31🔗 Drew With your buddies. No, no, this is like at home.

1:07:34🔗 Caller At home.

1:07:35🔗 Adam Well, first off.

1:07:36🔗 Drew What happens in Iraq? What do you do?

1:07:39🔗 Adam 10 to 12.

1:07:40🔗 Drew What happens in Iraq?

1:07:40🔗 Guest In Iraq, it was a lot more, actually.

1:07:42🔗 Drew A lot more?

1:07:44🔗 Adam Well, here's the thing. When today may be your last day, it's time to beat off.

1:07:50🔗 Drew But I think his memory is going with his chi. His chi is leaving his body.

1:07:54🔗 Adam If I was in Iraq, all I'd be doing is smoking and masturbating. I was smoking two cigarettes and beating off constantly.

1:08:00🔗 Drew Drinking your medicine.

1:08:02🔗 Adam I wouldn't want to take a car bomb or sniper's bullet and know, I beat off 10 days ago and I quit cigarettes three days earlier.

1:08:10🔗 Drew You wouldn't want that.

1:08:11🔗 Adam No, here's what I would be doing.

1:08:12🔗 Drew You would have just finished masturbating.

1:08:13🔗 Adam I'd be smoking two cigarettes and beating off constantly.

1:08:17🔗 Drew You don't have to show me. I get it with the verbal description.

1:08:20🔗 Adam It would be like-

1:08:21🔗 Drew Adam has to put the finger to the mouth and get the hand going down on the junk. Really? Come on, I don't want to say it.

1:08:27🔗 Adam You're doing an interview with Stars and Stripes magazine.

1:08:30🔗 Caller Go ahead.

1:08:31🔗 Adam Do you have a question?

1:08:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:35🔗 Adam Yeah, I think it's just work.

1:08:37🔗 Drew We're helping these people.

1:08:39🔗 Adam Yeah, we're helping these people.

1:08:40🔗 Caller We're giving them-

1:08:41🔗 Drew Just a second.

1:08:44🔗 Adam We're not giving them a hand out. We're giving them a hand.

1:08:48🔗 Caller You got it, you know what I love? What?

1:08:52🔗 Adam What issues is coming out, by the way? This be August or it will be September? A newsreel, I think folks back in home. Yeah, I would just be masturbating. I have two cigarettes in each corner of my mouth. I would be beating off constantly. Out on patrol, wherever, Humphrey. Doesn't matter. I mean, just think about that thing that's sort of constant like, hey, you may not come back from patrol.

1:09:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:09:18🔗 Adam Would there be a time to quit anything?

1:09:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:09:21🔗 Adam Could you imagine? Like, here's what I would do. I'd be in the mess hall and it'd be like, I'm pretty full. Look at that peach cobbler. Don't eat that peach cobbler. You're putting some weight on. We eat that peach cobbler.

1:09:33🔗 Drew Could be the last one.

1:09:34🔗 Adam By the way, saying you're not going to eat that peach cobbler, maybe the last thing runs to your head when you're lying on the ground, if a car bomb went on it. And that would go on and then states I'd be 300 pounds when I got home and then I would just keep the party going.

1:09:47🔗 Drew All right.

1:09:48🔗 Adam That's my plan, by the way, Drew.

1:09:49🔗 Drew That's good. That's great. Great plan.

1:09:51🔗 Adam Go to Iraq and morbidly obese.

1:09:52🔗 Caller And masturbate and smoke two cigarettes.

1:09:55🔗 Caller All right.

1:09:55🔗 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:10:03🔗 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10:06🔗 Caller We'll be right back.

1:10:39🔗 Adam Hell yeah.

1:10:40🔗 Caller Loveline.

1:10:40🔗 Adam I'm Adam.

1:10:41🔗 Caller That's Dr. Drew.

1:10:43🔗 Adam Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. David is on the phone.

1:10:49🔗 Drew David's calling from Vermont. Must be Burlington.

1:10:52🔗 Caller David?

1:10:53🔗 Drew Yes.

1:10:54🔗 Adam Where are you calling from? Brattleboro?

1:10:56🔗 No. A little further north. We're in a college town called Middlebury.

1:11:01🔗 Drew You're in Middlebury? Do you go to Middlebury?

1:11:03🔗 No. I actually live here.

1:11:06🔗 Drew I was just in Burlington about a month ago, and went to the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory, where every radio personality on earth was represented except you and me.

1:11:17🔗 Adam I don't think I have headshots. Maybe that's the problem.

1:11:20🔗 Yeah, they're getting a lot of attention now because of their bears.

1:11:23🔗 Adam What's that?

1:11:24🔗 They got a crazy about you bear, and I guess it offended some people from the mental health areas.

1:11:30🔗 Adam Yeah, that's right. Because it's crazy.

1:11:32🔗 Drew I see.

1:11:33🔗 Adam About you.

1:11:33🔗 Drew Here's the deal. You land at the airport in Burlington, the first thing they shove in your face is, you got to go to the Ben & Jerry's ice cream factory, and you got to go to the Teddy Bear Factory. It's like, what? That's it? That's all we got. That's it. Yeah.

1:11:45🔗 Adam Well, we got a tar pit over here. Do you want to go to the Teddy Bear Factory or a pit filled with tar?

1:11:51🔗 Drew You know, I'm just saying, it's close. It's close.

1:11:53🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:11:53🔗 Drew Toss up.

1:11:54🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, David.

1:11:55🔗 Drew Yes.

1:11:56🔗 Adam What's going on in Vermont? What do you do over there?

1:12:00🔗 Pretty much right now, when it rains, we go mudding, and when it doesn't rain, we just bask in the sun and enjoy what little warm weather we got.

1:12:09🔗 Drew That was a nothing. He does nothing.

1:12:11🔗 Adam You go mudding? How do you mud?

1:12:15🔗 We wait until there's a big storm, and then we take our four-wheel drive vehicles and go on really bad roads.

1:12:20🔗 Adam Oh, okay. Oh, I see. Yeah. But what do you do for work or school?

1:12:24🔗 I work at a grocery store right now, but apparently I'm on disability.

1:12:28🔗 Guest Uh-oh.

1:12:29🔗 Drew Hey, Middlebury's a great school, by the way.

1:12:31🔗 Adam Why are you on disability?

1:12:34🔗 I have lupus, and I ended up getting a vascular ulcer on my leg, and it's impossible for me to work.

1:12:41🔗 Drew That is, so you had vasculitis?

1:12:43🔗 Yep. I actually called about a few months ago with a erectile dysfunction which actually cleared itself up.

1:12:50🔗 Adam Oh, let's see what happens when we put you on hold for two days. Hey, Drew, what about lupus? How do you get that?

1:12:57🔗 Drew Well, it's an autoimmune disease. It's thought to, we don't know what causes it really. In males, it happens usually in people's 20s. It's almost exclusively women. When males get it, more often than not, it's triggered by medication. Gay medication? Is this a medication-related lupus?

1:13:13🔗 No. They just said that I had an enzyme in my blood that caused me to have blood clots and they said that-

1:13:20🔗 Drew No, no, no. Oh, so you have a lupus anticoagulant. You don't actually have lupus.

1:13:24🔗 Caller All right, got it.

1:13:25🔗 And they said it's only affecting my veins and not-

1:13:27🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. That's a different thing. That's not lupus. That's a lupus anticoagulant.

1:13:32🔗 Adam You can't work just four-wheel-drive, you can just do four-wheel-drive competitions.

1:13:36🔗 Caller All right.

1:13:37🔗 Adam And maybe you get a gig where you're not standing and bagging.

1:13:41🔗 Well, that's what I'm trying to do at the moment. I'm trying to get a down job.

1:13:44🔗 Drew Are you a heavy guy?

1:13:46🔗 No, I'm probably 170 pounds, six-foot. All right.

1:13:51🔗 Drew All right. So they're treating you for the lupus anticoagulant, right?

1:13:53🔗 Yeah. I gave my blood thinners kumat in.

1:13:55🔗 Drew Right. Kumat.

1:13:57🔗 And I'm actually getting married next year, and I was wondering, what are the chances of me actually passing on this disorder to my children?

1:14:05🔗 Drew This is, I don't know the inheritance pattern off the top of my head, but it's not something that typically is associated with a genetic issue.

1:14:13🔗 Adam Worry more about the slacker gene.

1:14:16🔗 Caller That's what you should be concerned about.

1:14:19🔗 Adam Yeah, you've got a son that just wants to hang out all day.

1:14:22🔗 Drew Yeah, and this may turn into something else, too. This may, you know, this what this lupus anticoagulant is all about. We'll have to kind of see as time goes along whether it's an isolated thing or not.

1:14:31🔗 Adam I like you, but you're 20, you got a little lupus going and you have no gig. Maybe you ought to hold off a couple years on the marriage?

1:14:38🔗 Caller Yeah, well, I want to hold off, but she wants to go gung-ho right now.

1:14:41🔗 Drew Well, just hold off on the kids. Hold off on the kid thing. The marriage is fine.

1:14:45🔗 Adam Even marriage for a 20-year-old guy. I just feel like a guy needs to get his ass together a little bit more.

1:14:52🔗 Drew Well, that's true.

1:14:53🔗 Adam I mean, he's 20. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I don't know. I'm not saying see the world. I'm just saying use the, well, I know use it as a motivational factor, but I just mean like, I don't know, did you have some sense of yourself or your place in the world?

1:15:10🔗 Drew We talk about that all the time. I mean, how can you even know who you should marry till you know who you are?

1:15:15🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:15:15🔗 Drew Where you fit.

1:15:16🔗 Adam Well, he picked someone hot.

1:15:18🔗 Drew Well, maybe his girlfriend is hot. Mudding.

1:15:23🔗 Guest No.

1:15:23🔗 Caller All right.

1:15:24🔗 Adam Got Robin over here has a provocative question. Robin?

1:15:29🔗 Guest Yes.

1:15:30🔗 Caller You're 25?

1:15:31🔗 Guest Yes.

1:15:32🔗 Adam What's up?

1:15:34🔗 Guest I gave birth to a little girl about six months ago.

1:15:40🔗 Caller Was it yours?

1:15:43🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:15:43🔗 Adam Okay.

1:15:44🔗 Caller All right.

1:15:44🔗 Adam Okay.

1:15:45🔗 Caller Keep going.

1:15:47🔗 Guest Okay. I had a vaginal birth and I tore and I was sewn back up. I now have an extra flap of skin.

1:15:57🔗 Adam Could be the kid's ear.

1:15:58🔗 Guest I don't know if that's normal or not.

1:16:00🔗 Drew Is it right at the base of the vagina there, like where the perineum begins? Yes. Okay. So they just sort of left. They sort of, when they sewed it together, there was a little pucker, basically.

1:16:12🔗 Adam Yeah. You got a little something there anyway, don't you?

1:16:15🔗 Drew No, they can really leave a little something behind, a little dog ear.

1:16:19🔗 Adam Well, that's just shoddy work.

1:16:20🔗 Drew That is shoddy work. They're supposed to cut that off. You can get that repaired with laser. It's not normal, but it's not hurting anything. It's not in the way. Don't worry about it. If your husband, boy, husband? Yes, my husband. If your husband isn't worried about it and you aren't worried about it, don't worry about it.

1:16:36🔗 Guest It can't harm me at all.

1:16:38🔗 Drew Well, based on what you're describing, obviously, your doctor would take a look at it to make sure it's not a wart or something else. But it sounded as a pucker from the Pzotomy. You tore, they sewed you back up and they didn't quite oppose the surfaces quite accurately.

1:16:51🔗 Adam Pzotomy is where they make the slit.

1:16:54🔗 Drew They cut it for you.

1:16:55🔗 Adam Right. Then they sew it back up? Then when they put the two surfaces together, sew it back up, then line it up just right.

1:17:02🔗 Drew Right. It overlapped or puckered or something.

1:17:04🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:17:05🔗 Drew Happens all the time.

1:17:07🔗 Adam Listen, I could see that. I could also see the guy being in a hurry. I'd be wanting to get out of there.

1:17:14🔗 Drew You know what I mean? Robin could have been in a county hospital or something where they're doing 30 birds. Who knows?

1:17:18🔗 Adam Crystal?

1:17:20🔗 Caller Yeah. Yes.

1:17:23🔗 Adam Crystal, what I agree, number three on my white trash, nameless.

1:17:27🔗 Drew I think it was number three. It might have been two.

1:17:30🔗 Adam We got Cammie.

1:17:31🔗 Drew Cammie and Samantha was up there.

1:17:34🔗 Adam No, no. Cammie and Tammie are number one. Crystal.

1:17:38🔗 Caller Crystal, yeah.

1:17:40🔗 Adam There's Brandy and then there's Angel. But that Angel goes in the more Latina thing, but still up there on my white trash list. Go ahead, Crystal.

1:17:50🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:17:51🔗 Drew What's the question?

1:17:52🔗 Adam I'm going to keep you at number three, but I got to tell you Brandy is nipping at your heels.

1:17:56🔗 Guest Really? Well, that's pretty interesting.

1:17:59🔗 Adam Well, I'm thinking about going Cammie, Tammy, Brandy, Crystal.

1:18:03🔗 Drew As opposed to Cammie, Tammy, Crystal, Brandy.

1:18:07🔗 Guest I can wait, but-

1:18:08🔗 Adam Angel.

1:18:08🔗 Drew Angel.

1:18:09🔗 Adam Rounding out the top five.

1:18:10🔗 Drew You can wait. Crystal, what's the question?

1:18:12🔗 Caller Oh.

1:18:15🔗 Drew Here we go.

1:18:16🔗 Caller What?

1:18:17🔗 Drew What's the question?

1:18:19🔗 Caller Well, I think that-

1:18:20🔗 Adam That's it. No, no. Sweetie, you got bumped. You're number four now.

1:18:24🔗 Drew That's it.

1:18:25🔗 Adam It's Cammie, Tammie.

1:18:27🔗 Drew Because the brandies were just jumping on it. You said Brandy 2017, pow, she came right on.

1:18:34🔗 Adam Yeah. Now it's Cammie, Tammie, Brandy, Crystal, Angel.

1:18:38🔗 Drew Okay.

1:18:38🔗 Adam All right. Now, Crystal, you want to go to number five or you're going to state your question clearly and concisely?

1:18:46🔗 Drew And quickly.

1:18:47🔗 Adam And quickly, concisely. I think I made that word up. Go ahead, Crystal.

1:18:53🔗 Guest I think I'm addicted to sex. I've got, I don't know, I just...

1:18:57🔗 Adam I'm going to move you back up to three.

1:18:59🔗 Drew What's that?

1:19:01🔗 Guest I need it all the time. I need to figure out like a way to calm myself down.

1:19:06🔗 Drew Are you, have anybody ever thought you were maybe bipolar? Manic depression?

1:19:12🔗 Guest Depression, yeah. I was diagnosed with depression two years ago when my dad had cancer.

1:19:16🔗 Drew But not manic depression.

1:19:19🔗 Guest I don't think so. I was pretty young.

1:19:22🔗 Adam Do you have a boyfriend?

1:19:25🔗 Guest A couple.

1:19:27🔗 Drew So when you say you're addicted to sex, it's not just with any one person, you have to have multiple partners?

1:19:31🔗 Guest Well, no, not at the same time.

1:19:33🔗 Drew I don't mean at the same time. I mean, you got to go from one to the next, or you can do it with one guy repeatedly and you're okay with that.

1:19:39🔗 Guest Well, that's okay, but usually I get bored and I have to move on.

1:19:42🔗 Drew Were you sexually abused or physically abused growing up?

1:19:45🔗 Guest Not that I can remember.

1:19:47🔗 Drew Are you addicted to any other chemicals, drugs, alcohol?

1:19:52🔗 Guest I smoke cigarettes.

1:19:54🔗 Adam She's just a passionate woman.

1:19:57🔗 Drew Well, she's acting out and I think she may. She has a pressure. She has a little bit of a bipolar quality to her. So are you feeling depressed now?

1:20:06🔗 Guest Not right now, no. I do often, no.

1:20:10🔗 Drew Could this sex be a way of trying to manage depression?

1:20:15🔗 Guest I don't know. I don't know.

1:20:18🔗 Guest I just like it.

1:20:20🔗 Adam Okay.

1:20:21🔗 Drew Back to three.

1:20:21🔗 Adam Junior college, Crystal?

1:20:23🔗 Drew No way.

1:20:24🔗 Guest No.

1:20:25🔗 Guest What do you do?

1:20:26🔗 Adam What's that?

1:20:27🔗 Guest Honors college.

1:20:29🔗 Drew High school. High school.

1:20:31🔗 Adam What's that mean?

1:20:31🔗 Guest I don't know. Honors. Honors college at a university. The University Honors College.

1:20:38🔗 Adam You go to school called Honors?

1:20:40🔗 Guest No. It's Oklahoma University. OU Honors College.

1:20:44🔗 Guest All right.

1:20:46🔗 Guest I mean-

1:20:47🔗 Drew It's the name of the- Universities sometimes have colleges within the university.

1:20:50🔗 Adam This is called Honors.

1:20:51🔗 Drew We're supposed to know what that one is. No.

1:20:53🔗 Guest I'm sorry. It's just a higher standard. It's like the Magna stuff.

1:20:57🔗 Drew It's a good-

1:20:58🔗 Adam You're the advanced four-year university.

1:21:01🔗 Caller Right.

1:21:02🔗 Drew You're out of high school.

1:21:05🔗 Guest Yeah. I just graduated in May. I'll be going next month to college.

1:21:09🔗 Adam What are you studying? What are you going to study?

1:21:11🔗 Guest International Business in Spanish.

1:21:13🔗 Adam Wow. Wow. International Poong Hang. So Crystal.

1:21:19🔗 Guest Yes, sir.

1:21:20🔗 Adam It kind of- Okay. There's a couple of things. Sometimes it's easy. Chicks were just sexually abused and now they're on autopilot.

1:21:27🔗 Drew Right.

1:21:28🔗 Adam Other times, it's a little depression, mixed in with a little, didn't get the attention maybe they wanted from daddy, mixed in with a healthy libido, mixed in with, I can do it.

1:21:38🔗 Drew But usually there's something sort of fueling it, particularly when she's bothered by it and wants to slow it down and can't.

1:21:45🔗 Adam How do you build, Crystal? Big calves?

1:21:48🔗 Guest Yeah, I'm pretty thick.

1:21:50🔗 Adam Little hair on the upper lip?

1:21:53🔗 Guest No, I try and keep that under control.

1:21:55🔗 Drew Well, no, he's trying to build a case for a high level of circulating testosterone and sort of make you sort of male.

1:22:01🔗 Adam Once in a while, you meet these chicks that are just a little bit dude in carriage.

1:22:06🔗 Drew Biology, yeah.

1:22:06🔗 Adam In biology, they're a little bit, sort of like these women that look.

1:22:13🔗 Drew Strangely, those are never the multi-orgasmic women. It made kind of sense, because men aren't multi-orgasmic either.

1:22:18🔗 Adam But they approach, there's a little bit of a, they approach sex a little bit like a male.

1:22:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:22:25🔗 Adam Here's my thing, Drew. If I meet a chick named Chris, I'm just going to ask her for a BJ. Like you got a 75% chance of getting one. Now if you meet Judith, you're going to get sued. You understand?

1:22:42🔗 Drew Just by asking.

1:22:42🔗 Adam You understand my names. I'm going to teach my son. Like look son, if you're at a frat party or bar, mixer or something like that, and you meet a Tammy Crystal, Angel you're going to BJ but you probably regret it. Don't go down that path. You should have that teardrop tattoo. The point is, the tan.

1:23:02🔗 Drew Yeah, I know. That means jail.

1:23:04🔗 Adam That means she was in the joint. Here's my point. If you meet a Crystal, just go ahead and ask her for BJ. She may get upset but the next one will be giving you a BJ. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:23:14🔗 Drew I hear you.

1:23:15🔗 Adam Judith, Shelly, don't bother. I'll give a whole list of names and just ask for sex for her.

1:23:21🔗 Drew I'm going to have you talk to my sons. Yeah.

1:23:23🔗 Adam Would you like me to talk to them? Hopefully, they're listening.

1:23:26🔗 Drew Dear God, no. Crystal? Crystal, it's bothering. Here's the deal. If you were truly sexually addicted, but you don't really meet criteria for that, you'd need some treatment for this. If you're bipolar, feeling depressed, you may be managing a depression with using sex as a drug. That's something that ought to be looked into because this is probably going to get worse with time. If you're just sort of been traumatized recently, sometimes women, whether they're raped or inappropriately sexually advanced, you'll suddenly compulsively act out sexually.

1:23:55🔗 Adam Anything like that?

1:23:57🔗 Guest Well, the guy who lost my virginity too, I was with him for a couple months, and he ended up going to jail for molesting his little brothers.

1:24:07🔗 Drew So did you feel like you were raped by this guy?

1:24:11🔗 Guest Um, not until after I found out. All right.

1:24:15🔗 Drew So Crystal, we don't get a clear read on this being a big deal with you.

1:24:20🔗 Adam Rain it in then.

1:24:22🔗 Drew Yeah, go ahead and stop. If you can't, then see a therapist, see their doctor and talk about what might be looked at. It might be done here. I'm sort of getting more of a bipolar thing with her than anything else.

1:24:30🔗 Adam Let's take a little break, Cedric.

1:24:31🔗 Drew Let's do it.

1:24:32🔗 Adam Be right back after this.

1:24:34🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

1:24:36🔗 Caller Loveline.

1:24:37🔗 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:24:40🔗 Guest We'll be right back.

1:25:13🔗 Caller Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam.

1:25:16🔗 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Polly Shore is going to be in here tomorrow night, and then the All American Rejects are going to be in here Thursday night.

1:25:24🔗 Drew I will be broadcasting from Washington, DC tomorrow night, just to warn you.

1:25:27🔗 Adam What's going on over there? Oh, you're talking to the Senate. Yeah, Capitol Hill. Capitol Hill.

1:25:31🔗 Drew It's good to look forward to this. It's the interns.

1:25:33🔗 Adam What's in your wallet?

1:25:34🔗 Drew The interns on Capitol Hill.

1:25:35🔗 Adam Is that the same thing?

1:25:37🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:25:39🔗 Adam Have you seen this commercial?

1:25:40🔗 Drew Yes, I do.

1:25:41🔗 Adam Capitol Hill.

1:25:42🔗 Drew Yeah. Be nice. Also, those of you that are with me on Thursday, please take a look at Discovery Health Channel Midnight Strictly Sex.

1:25:50🔗 Adam It's where you'll find Drew, everybody. That's right.

1:25:52🔗 Drew Actually, we're doing an interesting. This is the show on sex drugs and surgery. We're doing the penis enlargements, the vaginal reconstructions, all those things I scrubbed in on all these surgeries, so we show you how they work.

1:26:02🔗 Adam That's this Wednesday.

1:26:03🔗 Drew This Wednesday at midnight.

1:26:04🔗 Adam Discovery Health. Yeah. You're not going to these TCA things on Thursday out here, are you?

1:26:11🔗 Drew I'm supposed to go to some dinner on Saturday.

1:26:14🔗 Adam Oh, Saturday. That's Saturday.

1:26:16🔗 Drew Is it?

1:26:17🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:26:17🔗 Drew I don't think I'm doing the thing, but I think I'm going to some of the parties afterwards.

1:26:21🔗 Adam I got to do these things for Discovery on Saturday.

1:26:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:26:25🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:26:26🔗 Drew I guess because I'm already out. All right.

1:26:28🔗 Adam Go to that.

1:26:28🔗 Drew I'm already out, so I'm not being presented.

1:26:30🔗 Adam That's at the Peninsula Hotel? Go to that. I'll be bored otherwise. It's going to be me and those biker guys. Samantha? Yeah. The dog that practices yoga. Are you sure he's just not sleeping? No, he's in tantric dog down, up position.

1:26:49🔗 Drew Down dog position.

1:26:50🔗 Adam Down dog position. My dog does that too, but he does it when he's sleeping. Yeah. Go ahead, Samantha.

1:26:58🔗 Guest Yeah. My boyfriend and I really enjoy anal sex. And every time he does it, it hurts really bad, but I really enjoy it. And then for about a week after.

1:27:08🔗 Drew Hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm confused. It hurts really bad.

1:27:12🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:27:14🔗 Drew What is that? How can you enjoy it if it hurts so bad?

1:27:16🔗 Guest Well, like when he's first going in, it hurts really bad, but once we actually get into it, I really enjoy it.

1:27:26🔗 Drew Really?

1:27:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:28🔗 Drew Do you orgasm that way?

1:27:30🔗 Adam Yeah. Let me ask you this. Does he have to reach around and ring your bell?

1:27:38🔗 Guest No.

1:27:38🔗 Adam A little bit or just orgasm?

1:27:41🔗 Drew How do you orgasm? How does that work?

1:27:43🔗 Guest From anal sex, it just really turns me on. And I don't know. I've never been able to orgasm without any stimulation elsewhere.

1:27:53🔗 Drew You mean like oral sex?

1:27:54🔗 Guest But as far as anal goes, it doesn't take any stimulation elsewhere.

1:28:01🔗 Adam Well, there's a testimonial for that.

1:28:03🔗 Drew It takes all kinds. Yeah. Are you orgasmic with intercourse?

1:28:09🔗 Guest Only anal intercourse. But if it's just vaginal intercourse, then it takes stimulation elsewhere.

1:28:14🔗 Drew You mean like oral sex?

1:28:16🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:28:16🔗 Adam No, no. Or if it's vaginal intercourse, it takes stimulation like you have to flick your bean a little bit, right?

1:28:24🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:28:25🔗 Adam Okay.

1:28:26🔗 Drew But she's able to do that during the intercourse. Again, that's a little bit of a different category.

1:28:29🔗 Adam Yeah. But by the way, you've covered all three corners of the sexual pyramid with young Samantha. You got the anal orgasm, you have technically the intercourse orgasm, and you have the oral orgasm.

1:28:43🔗 Drew She's a unique breed.

1:28:45🔗 Adam Nice job, baby. You should teach over at the Learning Annex, the learning tree. Yeah. How do they get those celebrities to do that, by the way?

1:28:55🔗 Drew I don't know.

1:28:55🔗 Adam They get Rob Reiner to schlep out to the West Valley to talk to 18 idiots. Yeah. I think celebrities are such blowhards that when people approach them and go, Mr. So-and-so, we'd like you to wax philosophical about the essence of comedy. Oh, yeah.

1:29:10🔗 Drew I'll be right over.

1:29:10🔗 Adam They'll realize it's in a trailer in Kenoga Park. You know what I'm saying?

1:29:14🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:29:15🔗 Adam All right. Go ahead, Samantha.

1:29:18🔗 Guest So yeah, after we do it for about a week afterwards, I have really painful bowel movements.

1:29:26🔗 Drew Oh my goodness.

1:29:27🔗 Adam Well, it's worth it.

1:29:30🔗 Guest I'm not sure if there's any way that we can make it so it doesn't hurt so bad when he's starting to have anal sex with me, and so I don't have such painful bowel movements.

1:29:42🔗 Adam All right. Well, how is he built down there?

1:29:47🔗 Guest He is really big.

1:29:49🔗 Adam Oh, geez. Really big. All right. There's a little math problem here. How about you guys use plenty of lube?

1:29:58🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:59🔗 Adam How about some Coke?

1:30:00🔗 Caller We rub some cocaine on it.

1:30:02🔗 Drew How about, well, first of all, warm baths afterwards, and maybe some anusol cream to deal with the, God knows what you've done to yourself there.

1:30:11🔗 Adam What are you talking about? A little graduated, loose-sized balls?

1:30:13🔗 Drew Then the other thing is, yeah, maybe get something to open things up ahead of time, put a graduated device in.

1:30:21🔗 Adam I'm just, here's the problem. Drew and I, neither one of us are fans of the fudge.

1:30:29🔗 Drew Right.

1:30:30🔗 Adam We don't want to know what Brown can do for us. No, we just don't.

1:30:34🔗 Drew What does Brown do for you?

1:30:36🔗 Caller No, don't care.

1:30:37🔗 Adam Here's basically what it is. I don't like liver. I don't think Drew likes liver either.

1:30:41🔗 Drew We're not part of the FF, the fudge fans.

1:30:44🔗 Adam Here's the deal. You're calling saying, I need a good recipe for liver. I'm like, I want you to say, hey, nice hamburger. I really like to eat liver. Once you have a nice steak, that's better.

1:30:55🔗 Drew We're trying to talk you out of it.

1:30:55🔗 Adam We're talking out of it because to us, it's like, I don't like that.

1:31:01🔗 Drew It's hurting you. It's causing you harm, potentially.

1:31:04🔗 Adam You really get off on it. On the other hand, you're 21 and you're having painful bowel movements.

1:31:09🔗 Drew Your rectum is going to fall out when you're 75. That's what happens. You get rectal prolapse.

1:31:14🔗 Adam Rectum.

1:31:15🔗 Drew And that's a lovely thing when the rectum falls out your tush.

1:31:18🔗 Adam Let me close my eyes.

1:31:19🔗 Drew Yeah. Hot.

1:31:21🔗 Adam Okay, the point is, is maybe you should give it a break. And why don't you just save it for special occasions, religious holidays, your dad's birthday, stuff like that.

1:31:31🔗 Drew Breaking the fast.

1:31:32🔗 Adam Dad, dad died, well, he died two years ago today. All right, anal.

1:31:38🔗 Drew Break it out.

1:31:39🔗 Adam Break it out. Other than that, I don't really know other than, you know, gradually train your sphincter by, you know, dilating it with progressively larger lucite butt plugs.

1:31:52🔗 Drew Right. Then that would be lucite.

1:31:55🔗 Adam I like lucite.

1:31:56🔗 Drew I know. It sounds good.

1:31:56🔗 Adam What do you want to make them out of? Cat intestine or pig gut or something?

1:32:01🔗 Drew Latex, cat gut. Yeah, it's all good.

1:32:03🔗 Adam I'm just saying you don't want to make it out of cheese or marzipan or something. I think they're always a lucite.

1:32:09🔗 Caller All right.

1:32:10🔗 Adam By the way, lucite has really stepped up in the porn and stripper industry. You know, porn shoes are now made out of lucite.

1:32:19🔗 Drew Listen, I was doing a Man on the Street thing, and I was outside of the shop. I looked in the shop window, and it had elaborate glass, like dildos and things.

1:32:28🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:32:29🔗 Drew Elaborate.

1:32:29🔗 Adam It really stepped it up.

1:32:31🔗 Drew I imagine some of them were acrylic.

1:32:32🔗 Adam Dow Corning is really on top of the game.

1:32:34🔗 Caller They're expensive too, like 500 bucks.

1:32:37🔗 Adam 500 bucks. Hannah? Hello? You're 19?

1:32:43🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:32:44🔗 Adam You can only have sex when you're drunk or on drugs?

1:32:47🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:32:49🔗 Adam All right. That doesn't sound good. Do you have a boyfriend?

1:32:51🔗 Guest No.

1:32:52🔗 Drew Girlfriend?

1:32:54🔗 Caller No.

1:32:55🔗 Adam All right.

1:32:56🔗 Drew Are you a-

1:32:57🔗 Guest With strangers.

1:32:58🔗 Adam Just with strangers. Well, you got to lower your inhibitions and you do that with drugs and alcohol.

1:33:04🔗 Drew Why don't you actually have a relationship with somebody and maybe you won't feel so uncomfortable?

1:33:10🔗 Guest Yeah, that's kind of hard. I have commitment issues.

1:33:13🔗 Drew Were you sort of beaten up as a kid?

1:33:17🔗 Guest Not really, no.

1:33:18🔗 Drew Not really. Adam, were you beaten as a kid?

1:33:30🔗 Adam Hanna, here's the deal. You got issues, and we got issues too, which is we're running out of time.

1:33:36🔗 Drew Here's the deal. You need to make it so that you can be open and trustworthy of other people, that you can actually have a relationship. Until that happens, until that is scarier than the prospect of having sex with strangers, you're going to have some trouble. You've got to get some help and have a, basically for you, therapy would just be having a relationship, working through all the feelings of actually getting close to another, proximity of another mind. And then naturally you'll have a relationship and you'll work out these sexual issues when somebody actually cares about you.

1:34:05🔗 Adam Yeah, good times. We'll be back after this.

1:34:07🔗 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal. Look in the hookup, call the Dateline. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:34:12🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:13🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:34:15🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:20🔗 Caller 1-877-889-DATE If you need help, call Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:27🔗 Caller How do we know what incredibly voluptuous guest model Diora Baird looks like when she takes off her jeans and everything else? We have pictures. See them in the August Playboy on Newsstands now.

1:34:59🔗 Adam That's the show, everyone. The Great Pauly Shore in Tomorrow Night. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew's Sayin. Mahalo.

1:35:08🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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