Sunday, July 3, 2005

0:58🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:00🔗 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:02🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Nay, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

1:08🔗 Drew Yay, the best. Yay, we're on VK.

1:10🔗 Adam Yay, VK. VD, VK. I have no idea who's on the show tonight, but they have to be the best, or they wouldn't make the best of.

1:21🔗 Drew Only us, only the love that flourishes, that blossoms between us.

1:25🔗 Adam Well, as I've said many times, and we've heard over and over again, well, for me, that the show is better without the guest.

1:32🔗 Drew Right.

1:32🔗 Adam Who needs them?

1:33🔗 Drew Yeah, you can talk more.

1:34🔗 Adam Yeah, who wants to drag those sandbags to a show? I need freedom, baby, I got to fly.

1:38🔗 Drew Well, here we go.

1:39🔗 Adam All right. Best Of.

1:44🔗 Drew Yeah, buddy.

1:47🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. When we left off here on Loveline, we're speaking of Monica. Monica's 20. She gave two guys oral sex when they trapped her in a car in the compound. Maybe it's one of the Kennedys. And it wouldn't let her out. She was 17. She was confused. She wasn't drunk, although she sort of dissociated from the whole thing, which people do. And she is not a former victim of abuse. Is that true, Monica?

2:16🔗 Best Of Yeah.

2:17🔗 Adam So you basically were naive.

2:22🔗 Drew Let's double check that. Have you ever, did anybody ever hit you when you were growing up?

2:26🔗 Best Of Did anyone ever hit me? No.

2:27🔗 Drew Did you ever have any?

2:29🔗 Best Of What?

2:30🔗 Drew Mike, go ahead.

2:31🔗 Best Of Oh, cause now that my boyfriend of two and a half years, now that I told him this, cause this is friends, so he's gonna find out that I had to tell him myself, like the same case he talked to someone I told him I want him to know. So now that I told him, like, all the time, like he always like puts it in my head, like he makes me feel like crap because I don't, like I'm supposed to feel bad about it.

2:52🔗 Adam No, we get, we get that part, but you never called any, you never called the police.

2:59🔗 Best Of No, because I was 17, I was really stupid at that time. Like I didn't want to talk about it, you know, like I didn't want to be involved.

3:08🔗 Adam I understand that. Were you, were you a virgin at the time?

3:12🔗 Best Of Yeah.

3:13🔗 Adam You were.

3:15🔗 Best Of Yeah, I only had sex with my boyfriend.

3:17🔗 Drew Did you feel like this was something like, did you feel sort of cool about this in some way? That you were sort of getting attention?

3:24🔗 Best Of No.

3:25🔗 Drew All right. So this was, this was a very, you felt victimized, but you didn't really realize how profound it was.

3:32🔗 Adam How old were the guys?

3:34🔗 Best Of They were like 18, a year older than me.

3:38🔗 Adam And, you know, that sounds incensed or something. How does that work with the double oral? Like one guy finishes off the-

3:45🔗 Best Of He was in the bathroom, and the other one, he just like stood out there, and they opened the door, and the other one came in, and it was, I don't know, like. That's pretty much all.

3:53🔗 Adam I'd be in a hurry to finish first.

3:54🔗 Drew There's one after the other.

3:55🔗 Adam One after the other. Not simultaneously.

3:58🔗 Best Of No.

3:59🔗 Drew Okay. How long did this all take?

4:01🔗 Best Of See, I think maybe like 15 minutes.

4:05🔗 Drew And then they just sit up, see you later?

4:07🔗 Best Of And then they're like, okay. And then I just like left, like right away.

4:10🔗 Drew Nose open?

4:11🔗 Best Of And they were like, they were all nice, like it was all okay. Like, okay, fine. And I was like, oh, sorry.

4:18🔗 Adam Oh, hold on a second. And she was a virgin at the time. Okay. Here's what I'm going to say. Certain amount of people, most people we talk to were their past victims and they become, you know, they become victims in the future.

4:32🔗 Drew They're good victims for victimizers, but then they often have a post-traumatic stress reaction to all that.

4:36🔗 Adam Yeah. And then, and then the people that they got abused or they got drunk or they got whatever. This isn't any of those things. And then there's a certain percentage of society that they just, you can kind of get them to do what you want to do if you strong arm them a little bit, especially if you're a little bit older and there's two of you and they're hanging something over you like you can't leave.

4:53🔗 Drew It's a little bit of a victim of violent crime kind of thing. A little bit of a victimization, you know, that happened random.

4:59🔗 Adam Look, if in a society where everything is rape, this is definitely one of those things. You know what I mean? So, and then I understand, like now you feel like you were somehow a co-conspirator in this or somehow responsible, you're shamed, you don't want to tell anybody. All right. It's all coming together. Telling the current boyfriend is...

5:22🔗 Drew That was a bad move. There's something though about Monica is not quite right.

5:26🔗 Adam Monica, what's not right with you?

5:28🔗 Best Of What do you mean?

5:29🔗 Adam What do you do right now?

5:31🔗 Best Of What do I do? I go to school.

5:33🔗 Adam Junior college?

5:34🔗 Best Of Yeah.

5:36🔗 Adam Well, there you go.

5:37🔗 Drew There's still the need to sabotage the relationship, putting yourself in a weird situation.

5:41🔗 Adam What about sabotaging?

5:43🔗 Drew Using the F-word on the radio.

5:44🔗 Adam Yeah. We wonder if you're looking to sabotage your boyfriend's relationship a little bit. Did he ever cheat on you or is he ever...

5:53🔗 Best Of No. I don't know if I should feel bad for this.

5:55🔗 Adam Well, you were... hold on a second. He is your first... You lost your virginity to your boyfriend, right?

6:02🔗 Best Of Right.

6:03🔗 Adam How many women was he with before you? One. Does he talk about her?

6:08🔗 Best Of He has before.

6:10🔗 Adam A little payback, perhaps?

6:14🔗 Best Of He...

6:14🔗 Adam He a little tired of hearing about her?

6:15🔗 Best Of No. No. This one... I mean, I told him this like when we were like dating in the beginning.

6:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

6:21🔗 Best Of But it is...

6:23🔗 Adam I know. But why would you tell him, you realize obviously this will get stuck in a young man's craw?

6:30🔗 Drew Especially one of his friends is going to go nuts on him.

6:33🔗 Best Of Oh, really? I don't know.

6:36🔗 Drew All right.

6:36🔗 Best Of I feel bad. But he tries to use it against me now. Yeah. Yeah.

6:39🔗 Adam Yeah.

6:40🔗 Best Of I don't want to do it. He's like, oh, like you did it for them.

6:43🔗 Adam No, I know. I know. Guys are horrible. You know what? I'm going to say break up.

6:47🔗 Best Of Really?

6:49🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:49🔗 Adam You know why? Because if this guy was 35 and you were 30, you guys could figure this out. He's going to keep it in fresh in his craw. And he's going to summon it out of his craw.

7:02🔗 Drew All the time.

7:03🔗 Adam It's at the top of his craw. Do you understand?

7:06🔗 Best Of Yeah.

7:07🔗 Adam And he will use this craw against you. Do not make me use the craw.

7:12🔗 Best Of You think it's done and I just forget about it.

7:14🔗 Adam I just think you will, he, if you guys get married in three years, he'll be thinking about this when you're walking down the aisle, because guys have a sort of craw Tourette's.

7:23🔗 Drew They have a pick at the scab gene.

7:26🔗 Adam They can't do it later on. You get to our age. You just hope you hope to die in your sleep. That's really what you're hoping for. Pray to Christ you die in your sleep. That's who you become obsessed with. Please, God, don't let it be a violent death. Let me just go in my sleep.

7:39🔗 Drew Like your wife did before.

7:41🔗 Adam Shave 40 years off. I don't care. Just let me go in my sleep. That's all. But Monica, yeah, this guy, it's in his craw. It's gonna use it against you. And by the way, you're 20. You've only been with one guy. Break it off. Get clean. Start fresh. And do not tell the new guy what is in the craw.

7:59🔗 Drew Well, what would get stuck in the craw.

8:01🔗 Adam What would get stuck in his craw. See, here's the thing. As a guy, you have a you have a sieve in your head. And when you're young, it's a very fine sieve. It's a cheesecloth.

8:13🔗 Drew Yeah, stuff gets caught.

8:14🔗 Adam Everything gets caught. Nothing makes nothing larger than a couple microns.

8:19🔗 Drew And it's all stuck and it all irritates you.

8:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

8:21🔗 Drew It's like a sore.

8:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Now I have a hula hoop with just one lone tampon string going across it. Everything falls through. I don't care what it is. It all makes it through now. No cross-stickage at all. Even craw-flow.

8:37🔗 Drew Just that one string is the violent death string.

8:40🔗 Adam Yeah.

8:40🔗 Drew That's it.

8:41🔗 Adam Ping. That's all. No cross-stickage. Barely even have a craw. Do you have a craw?

8:47🔗 Drew No, I lost mine long ago.

8:48🔗 Adam I lost my craw too.

8:50🔗 Drew The craw's gone, but the passion remains.

8:52🔗 Adam The passion. Oh yes.

8:53🔗 Drew The craw's gone.

8:54🔗 Adam Now that runs deep. Engineer Chris, would you have to look the other way and look like a dog that, you know, do you have to look like my dog looks at me? That's what my dog looks like when I fart on it. If I fart for my dog, that's what Chris, engineer.

9:09🔗 Drew 90 degree head aversion.

9:10🔗 Adam Yeah, just 90 degree head tilt staring off into space. Do you know what a craw is? Sure. Do you think you have a craw?

9:19🔗 Drew No.

9:19🔗 Adam Okay.

9:20🔗 Drew Is there a particular sort of animal or beast that has a craw? I don't think so.

9:25🔗 Adam Okay. All right. Good. Is anything currently stuck in your craw?

9:30🔗 Drew Not really. Not even the way Adam speaks to you? I have to cut my craw.

9:33🔗 Adam Do you have to stare off into space with the head tilted at 90 degrees? You're a dick to a lot of people on the air.

9:39🔗 Drew Oh, oh, oh, oh. Someone's sucking Anderson's craw, though.

9:42🔗 Adam Oh, what is it in his craw?

9:44🔗 Drew That's funny.

9:44🔗 Adam Anderson has like five craws. He's got five craws of death. Great, great kung fu movie. All right. You ready to rock? Yeah. All right. I realize Enjair Chris just completely tunes out and drifts off. It's the only way he can.

10:00🔗 Drew Except when you look towards him, then that head turns.

10:02🔗 Adam Yeah, but you know, he reminds me of people like when they talk to these victims who were violently raped and attacked, gang raped and stuff. And they always, Oprah's talking to him. It's like, how did you get through it? It's like, I just tuned out.

10:15🔗 Drew Yeah, that's a dissociation.

10:17🔗 Adam I picked a point on the ceiling.

10:18🔗 Drew No, it's nothing as volitional as that. It's a parasympathetic nervous system.

10:23🔗 Adam You can't to tune out, otherwise it would go insane.

10:25🔗 Drew It's an adaptation to survival. Well, it's a way of just...

10:28🔗 Adam Chris has to tune out in order to survive. I understand that.

10:31🔗 Drew Your vagus nerve is what mediates all that.

10:33🔗 Adam That's right.

10:33🔗 Drew You say Vegas?

10:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

10:35🔗 Drew V-A-G-U-S.

10:36🔗 Oh, yeah.

10:37🔗 Drew Woo, we heard that though.

10:39🔗 Adam Sarah?

10:41🔗 Best Of Adam.

10:42🔗 Corolla.

10:44🔗 Adam What's happening, baby? Yeah, and I don't know, you know what? Chicks don't have a craw, chicks have a file, a dossier. Things don't get stuck in their craw, they just keep a file. They've organized files.

10:55🔗 Drew One of those files is you pull it out.

10:57🔗 Adam It keeps going. Yeah. All right, go ahead, Sarah. What's up, baby doll?

11:01🔗 Best Of Oh, it's a portfolio file, too. It's collated and dated.

11:04🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. They know everything. They know everything.

11:08🔗 Best Of We're on top of it. My question is, since my father died in March, first I shut down sexually, and then as he regained my libido, it became a lot more aggressive and a lot more frequent.

11:27🔗 Drew Same person?

11:28🔗 Best Of I'm sorry?

11:29🔗 Drew With your boyfriend or with multiple guys?

11:31🔗 Best Of With my boyfriend. Sable relationship for two and a half years, and we've been sexually active in the past and had a repertoire of sorts, and we're pretty flexible as far as intimacy and, you know, hold, hold, stop for one second. Okay.

11:47🔗 Drew How old do you think Sarah is again?

11:51🔗 Adam She sounds older.

11:52🔗 Drew Yeah, but not the Vietnam veteran old, but like the Celtic graduate student older.

11:57🔗 Adam Eh, eh, eh, eh, sort of mature and lucid. Yeah. We're not used to talking to people.

12:03🔗 Drew We're used to 19 year olds when they sound older sounding like they've been through some sort of mash camp.

12:08🔗 Adam Right. Uh, Sarah?

12:10🔗 Best Of You have yourself to thank for that. I've been a loyal listener since I was 14.

12:14🔗 Adam Thank you, Ms. Lucid.

12:15🔗 Drew Wow, how successful.

12:17🔗 Adam Clear craw on Sarah. What, um, what, uh, your dad, how did he pass away?

12:24🔗 Best Of I had a heart attack.

12:26🔗 Adam Well, at least it was sudden, right?

12:28🔗 Best Of Right. It was actually, um, it couldn't have been better in a, in a crappy kind of way because it was a Sunday, so I had breakfast with him that morning before going to work. And he and my mom went to the casino and then they were having dinner with friends and it was, uh, you know, couldn't ask for anything more, I guess.

12:44🔗 Drew Yeah. No, I mean, it better not to die.

12:46🔗 Adam You can ask for not to die, but that, well, yeah, you could ask for no death.

12:49🔗 Best Of There could be not death too. That'd be nice.

12:51🔗 Adam All right. All right. So, uh, we're not deeming you anything really, are we, Drew?

12:56🔗 Drew Smart.

12:57🔗 Adam You're smart. What do you do? Thank you. What do you do?

13:01🔗 Best Of I work in retail. I don't go to school or anything, if that's what you're asking. Adam, actually, under your advice, I have stayed away from junior college.

13:10🔗 Drew Yeah, but go ahead and go to four-year. Go ahead.

13:13🔗 Adam No, why? She's making money. She's sharp.

13:15🔗 Drew Yeah, but she is a loss of this.

13:18🔗 Adam Let me say something. Hold on, sweetie pea. Let me say this. And maybe it's the business I'm in. Maybe it's the businesses I've been in, whether it be fast-paced world of working in a carpet cleaning. Van or no, but really the businesses I've been involved with, whether it's swinging hammered, coaching boxing, comedy, whatever, television, radio and all the people we've ever employed through the man show, Crank Anchors, whatever. Nobody cares about college. Oh, we know the guys who shake their ass. We know the guys who move. We know the guys who hustle. I know some of the things you learned that in college.

13:57🔗 Drew Oh, no, I'm just saying you don't know who the guy was before college. It can change how your mind works. Yes. Yes.

14:03🔗 Adam Now, I got some slackers who went to college. Maybe they'd be brain dead if they weren't.

14:08🔗 Drew Sometimes it doesn't change them, but sometimes it does.

14:10🔗 Adam Guys who hustle, hustle. And Sarah is a hustler. She's working retail. She's going to work sales. She's going to make a bunch of money. Her stopping and going to college right now is just going to slow down her momentum. Let her make some money. And she doesn't. All right, some people, maybe they need to be taught how to think. Sarah, I don't think is one of those people.

14:31🔗 Drew All right. So your question is why the more frequent sex and the more sort of intense sex?

14:37🔗 Best Of Well, and I'm asking really, should I seek any kind of therapy for this or should I wait and kind of finish grieving? Because I'm worried that I'm, perhaps this has triggered some sort of bipolarity in me because I'll be happy, happy, happy for a few days and then I'll be very, very sad and it's...

14:54🔗 Adam Get some therapy.

14:55🔗 Drew It wouldn't hurt, but...

14:56🔗 Adam It wouldn't hurt. You're fine.

14:58🔗 Drew The lability is not bipolarity. And the need for higher levels of arousal and more frequent sex...

15:03🔗 Adam Lability is tired?

15:04🔗 Drew Lability means up and down.

15:06🔗 Adam Up and down?

15:07🔗 Drew And the need for more sex and sort of more arousing sex is just a way of just escaping. All right. It's fine. You escape. Yeah, it's fine.

15:15🔗 Adam All right, Sarah. You keep working, keep working that sales and work your way up.

15:20🔗 Best Of I sell the CDs. I sell them.

15:22🔗 Adam You'll be fine. You're good.

15:23🔗 Best Of I think so.

15:24🔗 Adam You're a hustler. God bless. You give me a hustler. Show me a hustler, Drew. Show me someone who's eager for the fray. No, I worked with a lot of people that were college graduates. Some of them, you couldn't tell they went anywhere. And some of them seemed smarter. But it all seemed like it was coming from their sort of inner core.

15:42🔗 Drew The engine.

15:42🔗 Adam Yes, it's like some people just have a cadence. They just have a battery in them. I don't know what it is. They don't think no for an answer. And there's others that just they're like animals. So just some people are sort of like cats. They just sort of want to relax and nap all day. And then other people like chihuahuas.

15:58🔗 Drew Yeah.

15:59🔗 Adam Or pain in the ass. But they're good to work with. All right. And by the way, you got that hustle thing going, everybody. Fine. You're good. And also, I don't even know what a four-year degree does other than get you into a place to get a doctorate or a master's or something. I'm not sure what a four-year degree on its own does anymore unless you want to go into teaching or something that specifically requires it. I don't even know that the business world is so interested in that. All right. We, you know, doing lots, I'm just telling people.

16:32🔗 Drew Both smart versus street smart.

16:33🔗 Adam No, just doing lots of-

16:34🔗 Drew You're like, you sound like the-

16:35🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. I don't, look, I'm not a big fan of the street smart either. You can be both or neither. Just have a little fire in you. But we've hired a lot of people. We do lots of interviews. What they did before, what their training was, what their degrees were, all took a distant sort of backseat to-

16:56🔗 Drew Who the person is.

16:57🔗 Adam What their eyes looked like, how dynamic they were, what they were talking about, how lucid they were, what their energy level was, what their confidence level was.

17:05🔗 Drew It depends what you're looking for, Terry. It depends. Listen, you go for an academic position.

17:09🔗 Adam When you're going for an academic position, then you need the academics.

17:13🔗 Drew But if you're going for a research position, you're going for a position in a company that is highly scientific.

17:18🔗 Adam It's one-tenth of one percent of everyone is listening. All right. Drew loves college.

17:23🔗 Drew Just saying.

17:23🔗 Adam He's just saying. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

17:29🔗 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

17:31🔗 Drew Loveline.

17:32🔗 Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

17:36🔗 Adam Ready for something new? Try Durex Tingling Condoms. They're sex and then there's Durex. Hey, yo, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew for number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Popped a zit on my back today, Drew.

18:03🔗 Drew Oh, congratulations.

18:04🔗 Adam Pow.

18:05🔗 Drew Did you drop something into it or did you squeeze?

18:07🔗 Adam Yes, I dropped a lance into it. I pinned it in that baby.

18:12🔗 Drew It's just blue.

18:13🔗 Adam And it hit the mirror.

18:15🔗 Drew Nice.

18:17🔗 Adam Like it was fired out of a cannon. You know, they test the impellers on jet engines by firing birds at them. That's a tough gig for a bird. Fire birds out of a cannon at them.

18:30🔗 Drew What? I've never heard of this. Well, why?

18:34🔗 Adam Well, how do you think? All right. You got to... Then we're getting back to my zit.

18:38🔗 Drew Okay. Yeah, yeah.

18:39🔗 Adam That's the velocity it hit the mirror with, by the way. Just pow. Awesome.

18:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:43🔗 Adam Nothing better. You never outgrow that.

18:46🔗 Drew I want to hear more about the bird going through the jet propeller.

18:48🔗 Adam Well, if you're building jet engines for commercial aircraft, or military, or any application, they got to be able to handle a seagull.

18:58🔗 Drew Being sucked in.

18:58🔗 Adam Getting sucked into them.

18:59🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

19:00🔗 Adam They got to be able to handle that seagull sometimes.

19:03🔗 Drew Going fast.

19:03🔗 Adam Four or 500 miles an hour.

19:05🔗 Drew Oh, I see.

19:06🔗 Adam The only way to really, really, I mean to really know if that jet impeller is going to...

19:12🔗 Drew Are they live seagulls?

19:13🔗 Best Of No.

19:13🔗 Adam Yeah, they're live. They're live and their families are there to watch. They bring their families there. Yeah. Well, yeah, they fly. They bring the families in and they force them to watch.

19:28🔗 Drew And they fire more than one.

19:30🔗 Adam It's a Sophie's Choice kind of thing. They will take the parents of the seagull. Yeah. I'm not I'm not sure. I'm not sure if they have a machine gun that can fire birds. I think actually they do. They do. I'm not I don't think they freeze them either. They they will do. They'll do frozen things, too. But they take these birds, they put them in a cannon and they fire them into jet engines.

19:53🔗 Drew Wow. Interesting.

19:54🔗 Adam Yeah. Tough gig for the for the cleanup crew.

19:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

19:58🔗 Adam It would be nice.

19:59🔗 Drew Not to mention the bird.

20:00🔗 Adam It would be great. I'd love just to get one of these nut chops like Betty White or one of these PETA retards or something like that. Just force them to sit down and watch this. All right. Load up the next Seagull. There we go. Fire. Just just just a cloud of feathers. But I guess, you know, I mean, you can't, you know, you can't take a piece of Styrofoam and put stick feathers to it.

20:23🔗 Drew No, it's gotta withstand. And I imagine a few of them at once, right?

20:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

20:27🔗 Drew Once in a while.

20:28🔗 Adam Yeah. They, they fire birds at the thing. But as far as a bird goes, like, it's like, look, you're going to be killed. You're going to, you're going to be eaten. Oh no, wait a minute. Over in this line. It's got to be like, Oh my God, William, what could be worse than being killed and being devoured on Thanksgiving or something?

20:45🔗 Drew You're going to, here it is.

20:46🔗 Adam You're going in the DC tent. Yeah. That is a bad, that is a bad gig. But, but a weird and bizarre job forever has to administer it. There's a load of that cannon.

20:57🔗 Best Of Wow.

20:58🔗 Drew Who is that guy? I want to talk to him.

21:00🔗 Adam Decent gig. And then he just got to hate birds. And then, and then, you know, the other cool gig is the guy, the Falconer down at the, at the airport.

21:10🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

21:10🔗 Adam Falcon. Go fly those birds off with a Falcon.

21:14🔗 Drew They, they routinely do that? Yeah.

21:16🔗 Adam Airports, a lot of airports have Falcons.

21:19🔗 Drew Really? And what they just keep the place?

21:22🔗 Adam Well, if you think about all these airports, half of them are just, you know, on the edge of the water and stuff.

21:26🔗 Drew I was wondering why the seagulls didn't get sucked in more often.

21:28🔗 Adam And it's just tons of, you know, yeah, aquatic birds and then, and then, and a lot of it, you know, I don't know, New York, New Jersey, where it's like marshland and stuff. I mean, it's tons of wildlife. You don't do it in the middle of the city. Sometimes there's tons of birds. They get a falcon, just go run them off.

21:43🔗 Drew Just one falcon will do it. They have a whole bunch of them.

21:46🔗 Adam I know it's not. Yeah. And then they form the shape of an arrow or no bee and they sting. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's one falcon, a big guy with a hammer. How bad ass are falcons? They should let them go one area and the birds all go away. Yeah.

21:59🔗 Drew Interesting.

22:00🔗 Adam Yeah. Birds are mean, Drew.

22:04🔗 Drew I believe the birds have an intuitive sense that exceeds anything we sort of understand.

22:09🔗 Adam I believe they're super stupid and angry.

22:13🔗 Drew They're not intellectually smart, but they, I mean, think you're not book smart, but you can fly, you know, a thousand, two or 3000 feet up in the air and spot a field mouse and grab it.

22:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Really? That's what the falcon can do. Yeah. I don't know. Good eyesight. How about the part where you just fly 3,000 months?

22:32🔗 Drew Yeah. You know to do that.

22:33🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm ignoring Anderson. Yeah.

22:36🔗 Drew And Anderson, you know what that does, don't you?

22:38🔗 Adam Yeah. You just, you just got another 40 minutes of bird talk. Actually, you know what?

22:42🔗 Best Of We have a visitor in here tonight.

22:44🔗 I was just explaining that that would have the reverse effect.

22:46🔗 Best Of And I was just proving my point.

22:48🔗 Drew Well, well done, Anderson. Well, having said that now, let's get on right to the phone.

22:52🔗 Adam Smartass.

22:53🔗 Best Of Ha ha.

22:54🔗 Adam Thought you could outsmart the Ace man. Let me tell you something, Anderson. I'm the cannon. You're the bird. And Drew's the impeller. You understand what that relationship's like? Only two are going to survive. You're firing me into Drew? Yes. I'm firing you into Drew. Mariam?

23:13🔗 Yeah.

23:14🔗 Drew What's up? So Mariam had the, dad died at three.

23:17🔗 Yeah.

23:17🔗 Drew The abusive stepdad.

23:18🔗 Adam That's right.

23:19🔗 Drew Now she can't be around real good guys because that exposes her the possibility of being vulnerable, getting attached to somebody and losing them again.

23:25🔗 Adam And no more cussing, Weisenheimer.

23:27🔗 Best Of I'm sorry.

23:28🔗 Adam My fault. All right. And your stepdad was abusive?

23:33🔗 Best Of Yeah. He would make me feel bad living with him. And I used, for example, I used his hairbrush in the shower and he just yelled at me screaming saying, oh, you can't use my hairbrush. Illogical reasons.

23:49🔗 Drew I'd love to replay that moment. Hey, honey, don't do that. Right. Scream to me.

23:53🔗 Yell at me. Yeah.

23:54🔗 Drew I hate my stepdad. All right.

23:56🔗 Adam And your mom now, now your mom, how is she?

24:00🔗 Best Of Well, she kind of denies the fact that he did any of that because she lives with him and now I don't. I left and. All right.

24:08🔗 Drew Be that as it may, you experienced this all as abuse. You now have trouble in relationships and that's how that works. But as you pointed out earlier, it all harkens back to you being unable to connect with any feelings. You put them away, you disassociate from them, you swallow them down and off you go. So how about hooking things back up again? What do you think? How about hooking back up with your feelings, get a little therapy and sort this stuff out so you can be more flexible with your relationships.

24:37🔗 Best Of Yeah. I think what I do is I pretty much, I hook up with guys and I don't really get personal with them. I just kind of get sexual with them, but I don't go all the way with them. Then I just wouldn't call them or they would be calling me and I would just ignore them.

24:51🔗 Drew We got it.

24:52🔗 Adam Well, now I know what you're doing. So let's start working on it.

24:55🔗 Drew Yeah. We could just say, okay, go ahead and stop, which of course you won't do.

24:58🔗 Adam No.

24:59🔗 Drew But you can start working on the reasons that you're doing that. That takes some time or not. Or go ahead and just have endless, endless line of meaningless, disconnected relationships with unavailable bad guys.

25:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

25:11🔗 Drew I'm sure that's satisfying in some way. It's out of control of all that. Yeah. But not a great way to go through life.

25:18🔗 Best Of All right.

25:18🔗 Adam Let's talk to Nate who's 17. Nate?

25:21🔗 Best Of Yeah.

25:22🔗 Adam What's up?

25:24🔗 Best Of Not much.

25:25🔗 Best Of How's it going?

25:27🔗 Adam It was going fine, Nate. It was.

25:34🔗 Drew That's it?

25:35🔗 Just do it!

25:37🔗 Best Of Sorry. Is anal douching safe?

25:41🔗 Drew Is it what?

25:42🔗 Is it safe?

25:43🔗 Adam Anal douching, Drew? Yeah.

25:45🔗 Drew Meaning if you take a female douche product and put it in the took eye?

25:50🔗 Best Of I guess so.

25:52🔗 Drew Or do you mean having an enema?

25:55🔗 Best Of Either one.

25:56🔗 Drew Either one. Nate, what do you?

25:58🔗 Adam Such a finely crafted question. I'm guessing you're in some sort of advanced placement program at your high school.

26:04🔗 Best Of On your floor, then.

26:08🔗 Drew Yeah, but that seems to be really him.

26:10🔗 Best Of What?

26:11🔗 Adam Nate, we understand this is a bogus call. I don't understand why you can't focus it at all.

26:17🔗 Best Of It's not a bogus call.

26:19🔗 Drew What is it? What's your plan? What's your plan? What do you want to do?

26:24🔗 Best Of What do I want to do?

26:26🔗 Drew Why are you asking this question, say?

26:29🔗 Best Of Anal sex.

26:31🔗 Drew You want to have anal sex? Are you gay?

26:33🔗 Best Of Yeah.

26:34🔗 Drew And you want to sort of clean things out beforehand?

26:36🔗 Best Of Yeah.

26:37🔗 Drew Are you a trauma survivor?

26:40🔗 Best Of I wouldn't say so.

26:42🔗 Drew You weren't sexually abused growing up?

26:44🔗 Best Of I don't believe so.

26:45🔗 Drew Don't believe so.

26:47🔗 Adam Something's up with him.

26:48🔗 Drew He's got that sound.

26:50🔗 Adam Angry?

26:51🔗 Drew No, no. Just...

26:53🔗 Adam Broken. Nate, seriously.

26:57🔗 Best Of Yeah, I'm serious about it.

26:58🔗 Adam No, I know, I know. But what, what, are you in high school?

27:01🔗 Best Of Yeah.

27:02🔗 Adam And you're gay?

27:03🔗 Best Of Yes.

27:04🔗 Adam And nothing made you gay? That's just how you came out?

27:08🔗 Drew No, no trauma.

27:09🔗 Best Of Yes.

27:11🔗 Drew Yes, there was trauma.

27:12🔗 Best Of No, there was no trauma.

27:13🔗 Drew No, there was no trauma.

27:14🔗 Best Of All right.

27:15🔗 Drew And you're just thinking about these things, trying to prepare yourself, right?

27:19🔗 Best Of Yeah.

27:19🔗 Drew Okay. All right. All right. Yeah, I think, I think.

27:24🔗 Adam Yes, Drew. I would want...

27:26🔗 Drew And enema sounds like a good idea.

27:28🔗 Adam And enema sounds strong. Yeah. And do gay guys do this?

27:33🔗 Drew I don't know, but I imagine some do. And to be interesting, we'd like to hear from our brethren to see what happens.

27:38🔗 Adam Let me tell you, enema, not enough for the ace man if he's going back door.

27:42🔗 Drew What do you want?

27:43🔗 Adam I want a bottle brush.

27:45🔗 Drew Shop vac?

27:46🔗 Adam Shop vac, wet drive vac, bottle brush, loofah on the end of a mop handle.

27:52🔗 Drew And they're good.

27:52🔗 Adam I want to be able to eat off that rectum. You know what I'm saying? I want that thing, I want it scrubbed like it's a surgical instrument.

28:01🔗 Drew All that scrubbing and sterilizing won't do anything for the HIV and the hepatitis and all that good stuff. In fact, it might make it worse because you'll irritate the rectum. So if you have something to give your partner, you'll be more likely to pass it on.

28:14🔗 Adam There has to be a trick of the corn-holing trade.

28:18🔗 Drew Condoms.

28:20🔗 Adam No, I understand that.

28:21🔗 Drew Preparation?

28:22🔗 Adam There just has to be.

28:23🔗 Drew Yeah, there must be a preparation.

28:25🔗 Adam I mean, we've never really sat down, pardon the pun, and thought about it.

28:29🔗 Drew So tonight's the night.

28:30🔗 Adam But here's then the question. If you're heading out and you're heading out for a good night of anal debauchery, what do you do? You evacuate before you hit the bar. Then what?

28:45🔗 Drew A little enema, I guess.

28:46🔗 Adam A little enema. But then there's going to be another log coming down the flume.

28:50🔗 Drew Not too long. Well, yeah.

28:52🔗 Adam You got a window there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You're going to have a brownout soon.

28:57🔗 Drew Well, if you're using the fleet's enema, which just clear out the base, the ampulla, that's one thing. But if you give a tap water enema, a high enema, clean things out for a while.

29:08🔗 Adam Now, the fleet one's a low enema.

29:10🔗 Drew Where's my picture? Here we go.

29:12🔗 Adam Okay. So one enema is just basically...

29:16🔗 Drew The bottom stuff.

29:18🔗 Adam Yeah. That's just an oil change. That's not a full lube and oil in a rotating the tires.

29:23🔗 Drew It's not taking the pan off and drying the whole thing.

29:26🔗 Adam Not dropping the pan. Drew knows what a pan is, everybody.

29:30🔗 Drew Here you go. Check this out.

29:31🔗 Adam Drew's got his picture.

29:32🔗 Drew This is the fleet's. The high enema is going all the way up to here.

29:36🔗 Adam All the way up.

29:36🔗 Drew All that's coming down.

29:37🔗 Adam All the way up. All this bow. How long is that? Two feet?

29:41🔗 Drew Yeah, two and a half, three feet.

29:42🔗 Adam And how's the high enema getting up that high? It's got pressure.

29:45🔗 Drew Pressure's water. The fleet's just go, and it just squirts up. Gets some of this, but mostly comes right back down.

29:50🔗 Adam Right. And the water pressure, how do you regulate the water pressure, one?

29:54🔗 Drew How high the bag is.

29:55🔗 Adam Oh, really?

29:56🔗 Drew It's gravity.

29:57🔗 Adam Really? So what if I'm, you know, just hanging on the top of the door?

30:01🔗 Drew Yeah.

30:01🔗 Adam What's that get me?

30:02🔗 Drew That'll get you through most of this.

30:04🔗 Adam Uh-huh. But also how high my ass is, because I like to stick my ass up.

30:08🔗 Drew Yeah. If your ass is on the second floor and the bag's on the door on the first floor, it'll make it work.

30:11🔗 Adam I'll go ahead and stand on a stool and put my ass up toward Macca.

30:14🔗 Drew I know you like that.

30:15🔗 Adam So you put the douche bag up. I swore I saw one of those swinging on my grandma's door once. I'm almost vomiting. That's nice. You got to, please, everyone, have the decency. Old people, please, have the common decency to take the douche bag off the doors.

30:32🔗 Drew So I show you my bag, please.

30:34🔗 Adam You got a house with one bathroom. See, the Corollas, we had a choice between one bathroom and half a bathroom. There was never a full bathroom. There's just one small bathroom in every house I ever grew up with, which is fine until you find grandma's personal lubricant. Do you know what I'm saying? You don't realize really what you got in your bathroom as an adult, that you don't need the kids getting into. And when you only have one bathroom, it's a disaster.

31:04🔗 Drew Look at this, the Glide 6.

31:06🔗 Adam Dan works for an airplane company, does testing with birds and engines.

31:11🔗 Drew After the break.

31:12🔗 Adam Oh!

31:12🔗 Drew Yes, yes, it's awesome. Our listeners, as much abuse as you levy it, put down for our listeners, we have good listeners.

31:21🔗 Adam It's going to be disappointing.

31:22🔗 Drew Come on, they come through for us all the time.

31:24🔗 Adam Let me just check something. But, Dan.

31:27🔗 Hey, what's up, guys?

31:28🔗 Adam You know, you know what would be huge is if not only you knew about the birds being fired into the jet engines, but you had some information on gay douching.

31:39🔗 Best Of I can't help you guys with that.

31:40🔗 Adam All right. All right. And wouldn't it be ironic if they use the same cannon?

31:45🔗 Drew Ironic, yes.

31:46🔗 Adam Okay. All right. We're going to get back. We're going to talk about firing birds into a jet engines because that's what Loveline is about. And secondly, we'd like some answers on the douching. With the anal. As far as the gays go. Do you clean yourself out? What are you looking for? And is there a sect of the gay community that doesn't want the...

32:05🔗 Drew Oh, the clean.

32:06🔗 Adam Doesn't want the team.

32:07🔗 Drew And by the way, this could catch on. I mean, you really are going to be a considerate heterosexual partner, a la Carolla.

32:14🔗 Adam Yeah.

32:15🔗 Drew If I were going to have sex with you, if I were a woman.

32:17🔗 Adam What do you mean if?

32:18🔗 Drew Well, I mean, if I were 100% chicken, not a half chicken.

32:20🔗 Adam You mean next time we play college.

32:22🔗 Drew I want that S cleaned out.

32:24🔗 Adam You want everything cleaned out?

32:25🔗 Drew I want out. That's a dangerous area with you.

32:27🔗 Adam I keep my junk. I sleep with it in that blue barber liquid. Did you see the barbershop?

32:34🔗 Drew The barbershop.

32:35🔗 Adam I will sleep with a sack of that on my junk.

32:37🔗 Drew Yeah, but that doesn't take care of what's behind.

32:39🔗 Adam I will actually have underpants. They're more fish tank than they are underpants. I will fill it with that and walk around an entire day that way.

32:48🔗 Drew Getting better.

32:48🔗 Adam All right.

32:49🔗 Drew That's good.

32:49🔗 Adam It's more of a, it's like a parts dip.

32:52🔗 Drew All right.

32:52🔗 Adam We're going to take a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah, whoo, hell yeah, get it on. Oh yeah, to get it on. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-L-V-E-1-9-1-er. Lisa?

33:32🔗 Best Of Yes?

33:33🔗 Adam You're 32?

33:34🔗 Caller I am, good evening.

33:36🔗 Adam Good evening.

33:37🔗 Best Of How are you?

33:38🔗 Adam I'm good.

33:39🔗 Drew What's happening?

33:40🔗 Caller How's it going? Well, I called in because you've been talking about Craigslist tonight.

33:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

33:44🔗 Caller And I am a San Francisco dweller who has used Craigslist for all kinds of things including going on dates and sex. And I'm not a 400-pounder and I'm not 5'1.

33:53🔗 Drew Yeah, but you're not meeting people on the street and going to have sex with them, are you? You're fat.

33:57🔗 Caller Well, no. Although, we've definitely, a few girlfriends of mine and I will put out an ad in an evening and say, anybody want to go get drinks? And the first couple of guys that answer, we meet up with them at a bar and hang out for an evening. It's led to dates and things.

34:10🔗 Drew Have you ever met any really interesting people that way?

34:12🔗 Caller Actually, a lot of interesting people. There's some really nice people. I haven't kept them, but...

34:17🔗 Drew You haven't kept them?

34:18🔗 Caller In other words, I haven't dated them.

34:20🔗 Drew Kept them in the closet, sort of stuff in there, catalog them?

34:24🔗 Adam No. First off, it's that catch-22 thing, which is, oh no, a lot of provocative, interesting, articulate people. Oh, you had a second date with them? No.

34:34🔗 Drew Right.

34:34🔗 Adam Well, if they're so interesting, why not a second date?

34:37🔗 Drew Think about it. One of the things that the internet doesn't allow is for attraction to figure into the initial meeting. You know, it's pure random.

34:45🔗 Adam Well, they're showing pictures.

34:47🔗 Drew Yeah, but you know, you and I know a lot about what attraction is. And attraction, if people don't have the right craziness in the mix.

34:54🔗 Adam Yeah, but if someone's good looking, that'll work.

34:57🔗 Drew For the guy. There's a girl. There's a girl we're talking about.

35:00🔗 Adam Lisa?

35:01🔗 Caller Yeah, wait, I'm hearing a lot of static. There you go. Are you with me? Yeah. We have gotten some interesting pictures, though, guys sending pictures of their penises and things like that.

35:11🔗 Drew What is that? I went on Craigslist tonight, and every male picture that was posted was of the Schvanz. What is that? Like, hey, look at me? It's like exhibitionism.

35:22🔗 Adam That's more gays stuff.

35:22🔗 Caller I will say there's some pictures that are pretty good.

35:24🔗 Caller You have to look at them, but I'm not generally going to meet up with those people.

35:28🔗 Drew You have to look at them. I recoiled myself.

35:31🔗 Adam So what is-

35:32🔗 Caller Some of them were attractive.

35:34🔗 Drew Attractive?

35:34🔗 Caller Attractive penises.

35:36🔗 Adam Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

35:37🔗 Drew Excuse me. Those words don't usually go together.

35:39🔗 Adam Attractive penis is fine. It's a scrotum that's not good looking.

35:42🔗 Caller Straight women who like the penis.

35:44🔗 Adam No, look. Drew's being an idiot.

35:46🔗 Drew No, no, Ed. I'm interested. You think penises are attractive?

35:48🔗 Caller There are some men who have the most- Yeah, absolutely.

35:51🔗 Drew What does that mean? What does that mean?

35:53🔗 Caller What does that mean?

35:54🔗 Adam Hold on.

35:54🔗 Drew What does that mean?

35:55🔗 Adam Listen, I'm not going to sit here and be a part of your charade. What does it mean? Why does it stop there?

36:02🔗 Drew No, what does that mean? What is she talking about?

36:05🔗 Adam Some guys have a nice- Is it the coronal flair? looking dork and other guys don't. I happen to have a nice-looking penis.

36:10🔗 Drew You do not.

36:11🔗 Adam I've seen it. It is beautiful.

36:13🔗 Drew It's pristine.

36:14🔗 Adam It's not beautiful. It's nicely proportioned. It smells of lilac.

36:20🔗 Drew And paper mush and talc.

36:22🔗 Adam Please. Lisa, a look.

36:24🔗 Caller There is the rainy penis. There is the hairy penis. There is the tooth hair for the top. You know, there's some. It's just a nice...

36:30🔗 Adam There's the ones with the weird scar circle going around them.

36:33🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Which, you know, a lot of guys seem to have, but some of it's more pronounced. But you know what I mean?

36:38🔗 Drew So it's like everything else. Right. It's everything else in humans. Its symmetry is a big deal.

36:43🔗 Caller Exactly. Yeah.

36:44🔗 Adam I don't know.

36:45🔗 Caller Excuse me.

36:47🔗 Drew I didn't know.

36:48🔗 Adam Yes, you did.

36:48🔗 Drew I didn't know.

36:50🔗 Adam You couldn't tell the difference between a good-looking penis and...

36:52🔗 Drew Is there such thing as a good-looking vagina?

36:54🔗 Adam Yes. How dare you?

36:57🔗 Drew Well, there's some ones that are kind of weird looking, but it's not...

36:59🔗 Adam They're ones that go south. Yes.

37:01🔗 Drew Yes, but that doesn't mean...

37:02🔗 Adam There's whole business out of repairing those... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

37:06🔗 Drew That have extra stuff coming out.

37:10🔗 Adam There's a laundry list of things that can go wrong with the vagina. Lisa?

37:14🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

37:15🔗 Adam Am I right?

37:16🔗 Caller I personally think my vagina is looking pretty good, but I'm sure that that's true.

37:20🔗 Adam Right. All right. Now, what do you do for a living?

37:22🔗 Caller I'm an attorney.

37:25🔗 Adam Something's wrong here. What's creepy? What's going on?

37:29🔗 Caller Just because I'm the attorney, something's wrong.

37:31🔗 Adam Twice divorced. What went on? What happened?

37:34🔗 Caller With what?

37:35🔗 Adam Do you have kids? Divorced?

37:36🔗 Caller I don't have kids. I was briefly married. I am divorced, but I'm in a long-term, fantastic relationship.

37:43🔗 Drew And meeting guys randomly?

37:45🔗 Caller No, no, no. I did that when I was single.

37:48🔗 Drew How long have you been in this relationship?

37:50🔗 Caller Just almost a year, but I've known him more than ten years.

37:54🔗 Adam And you didn't even meet him on Craigslist?

37:56🔗 Caller No, no, through friends.

37:58🔗 Adam All right.

37:58🔗 Caller Which seems to be the best way, really. I mean, Craigslist is great, but I think the introduction part is much better.

38:04🔗 Drew All right. Are you planning to have a family, that kind of thing? Is that something in your future or no?

38:09🔗 Caller Yeah, I'd love to do that. Absolutely. And I think he does too.

38:12🔗 Adam All right.

38:13🔗 Drew All right.

38:13🔗 Adam I'm getting bored now. But listen, so evidently people want to hook up. It's not as seedy as, maybe the internet has evolved. Maybe it's changed.

38:24🔗 Drew You and I are just old farts.

38:26🔗 Adam Well, here's the thing. We look at, I mean, I think you and me, because I don't know how to work on a computer, always looked at internet is sort of dating a sort of tantamount to mail order, bride and worse, right?

38:40🔗 Drew Sort of jaundiced view of that, yeah.

38:42🔗 Adam Yeah. But okay. And maybe that was true at the beginning. But there were a lot of things that you didn't want to do over the internet, like, for instance, shopping over the internet was there's a lot of trouble with that eight years ago or ten years ago. Now it's a commonplace. They've worked out the bug.

38:57🔗 Drew Right, right, right, right.

38:58🔗 Adam And now if everyone's going to use the internet for for shopping, for communicating, yeah, then eventually what is going to be so I they'll come a day, I predict, Drew, when people will look down on those who met at a bar.

39:13🔗 Drew Right, right. It could be.

39:15🔗 Adam Oh, you're you're you're drunk. You're at some place. You're obviously looking to hook up here. We got to know each other.

39:20🔗 Drew No, you're right. It could be.

39:21🔗 Adam All right. I've turned the corner. I'm going to get on this Craigslist, see what's going on. All right. What are we doing, Drew?

39:29🔗 Drew One more Craigslist.

39:30🔗 Adam Really?

39:31🔗 Drew Look, there's too much of them.

39:32🔗 Adam All right. Is that what we want to do all night?

39:34🔗 Drew We're just asking one more of this. Come on, guy.

39:36🔗 Adam Because ultimately, we have to ask ourselves this question. What does it have to do with me?

39:42🔗 Drew Yeah, that's tough for you. I know.

39:43🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

39:44🔗 Drew But this guy works for Craigslist. Just check it out.

39:47🔗 Adam Jeremy?

39:49🔗 Best Of How's it going, guys?

39:50🔗 Adam You're 30. What's up?

39:52🔗 Best Of First, I want to thank you real quick for coming up to the Bay Area of Stanford. That was real cool. I hope to see you guys up there again.

39:58🔗 Drew Anytime. We love going up there.

40:00🔗 Adam Thanks for coming.

40:01🔗 Drew We love going up there. We come up there anytime. It's so easy.

40:04🔗 Best Of Well, you're invited. And what you said about Nerdsville at Stanford, I'd say more like Snopsville.

40:12🔗 Adam Oh, really?

40:13🔗 Best Of Yeah, I think there were people who were too shy to raise their hand because they're on Snob. And then there were, you know, your fans, so.

40:22🔗 Adam Well, what's up?

40:23🔗 Best Of But I can't look... Well, everything that's been said about Craigslist is true. However, that's not its initial mission. It's more like... Does the term free weekly make any sense?

40:38🔗 Best Of It looks like it does.

40:39🔗 Drew Yeah, I get it. I understand.

40:41🔗 Best Of Yeah, it just happens to have, you know, this... It's not what you guys are doing tonight. Although I love you guys. It's probably going to be any... If it creates any publicity, it's going to be for the... What is it? The personals. That's what you're talking about.

40:59🔗 Adam Right. Well, there's other facets.

41:02🔗 Drew You can find apartments for rent and that kind of thing.

41:04🔗 Best Of Absolutely. And it's really valuable for that. So, I believe that's how it got off the ground.

41:10🔗 Drew So, it's more of a yellow pages kind of thing. It's a lot of stuff.

41:14🔗 Adam Right. Right.

41:15🔗 Drew All right. Thanks, Jeremy.

41:16🔗 Adam Thanks, Jeremy. I'm here. I mean, look, here's the deal. It's like everything eventually turns to porn and sex.

41:25🔗 Drew Well, new technologies, that's where they go first.

41:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:29🔗 Drew As you said, it's either lighting, it's farting or sex.

41:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

41:34🔗 Adam Is that what I say?

41:35🔗 Drew Well, I remember you guys did the, you guys, you and Jimmy did Chimpanzee Theater about Inventions Through Time.

41:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:41🔗 Drew And, you know, they discovered the phone. Of course, the first thing that Watson does is fart into it. Right.

41:47🔗 Adam Right. Well, it's true. That's very true. It's true today as it was, Jesus, seven years ago. Let's speak to Donald. Yeah. Give him a cervical cancer if he's uncircumcised. Find me a check. The dangers of using shrooms. Yeah. Shrooms. Ashley.

42:05🔗 Best Of Yeah.

42:07🔗 Adam You want to try mushrooms? Yeah.

42:10🔗 Drew Well, she's done it a bunch of times.

42:12🔗 Adam Oh, you've done it?

42:14🔗 Best Of Hello?

42:15🔗 Drew We're here. Turn off your radio. Oh, boy.

42:19🔗 Best Of My radio is off.

42:21🔗 Drew Well, okay.

42:21🔗 Adam Well, what are you listening to?

42:23🔗 Best Of I'm not listening to anything at all.

42:25🔗 Best Of It's, like, completely silent.

42:26🔗 Drew All right. Good.

42:27🔗 Adam All right.

42:27🔗 Drew So you've done mushrooms a couple of times, right?

42:30🔗 Best Of Yeah, I've done them, like, five to six times in, like, the last year and a half.

42:33🔗 Drew And what's your question?

42:35🔗 Best Of Are there any, like, permanent effects?

42:37🔗 Drew Probably. Probably.

42:39🔗 Best Of Like what?

42:40🔗 Drew Well, they've not been well documented yet, frankly, and so I'd love to tell you there's all kinds of horrible things.

42:44🔗 Adam It's hard to be that high and get away free because you are seriously effed up on mushrooms.

42:51🔗 Drew There's something called excitotoxicity, Ashley, that occurs whenever the brain is being driven too hard, let's say, the very chemicals that the brain is using to sort of communicate the cells amongst themselves, become free radicals and start tearing the cells apart. So all hallucinogens, in my experience, are the potential of causing brain damage. How much and how permanent, that's up for debate. Mushrooms, I have actually never seen evidence of severe damage, so I can't tell you that it's definitely happening, but it should be happening based on what I've seen from other hallucinogens.

43:25🔗 Adam People don't seem to take them enough.

43:26🔗 Drew Well, that's the point. That's what I think it is, because people, they kick the crap out of you. People aren't right for a while afterwards.

43:32🔗 Adam Yeah.

43:32🔗 Drew And no one likes eating cow pie particularly, which is basically what they grow in, the mushrooms.

43:37🔗 Adam Oh, come on, man. Don't be uptight.

43:39🔗 Drew It eats a cow pie. All right.

43:40🔗 Adam So you sit around and eat lobster, man. Dude, dude, that's crawling around on the bottom of the ocean, dude.

43:47🔗 Drew Whatever you can. Hippo flop, cow flops, all good, whatever you're into.

43:50🔗 Adam Yeah. Mushrooms don't taste good. And you know, the other thing is tough too with mushrooms. It's kind of hard to regulate, you know? You're not sure exactly how much to take. You know, you don't want to freak out, man.

44:02🔗 Drew You're so uptight, man, you'd freak out right away. I'm sure.

44:04🔗 Adam And listen, don't take them with any lightweights. Like those chicks, you know, they start going nutty halfway into it. They just start freaking out and then they bum out. You're high and then, man, it's tough. You know what I mean? But I'll tell you, man, I really I learned some stuff being high in mushrooms.

44:20🔗 Drew You did not. Yes. Lee Presson.

44:22🔗 Adam Well, I did. Yeah, I did. No, it opens you up, man.

44:26🔗 Drew What it does is it hyperstimulates a part of the man called the amygdala. So things that should seem sort of background to become novel.

44:34🔗 Adam That's right.

44:34🔗 Drew Things that things that are routine become novelty all of a sudden.

44:37🔗 Adam That's right.

44:38🔗 Drew Like you've seen them for the first time or you've seen them from a different perspective.

44:42🔗 Adam That's right, man.

44:42🔗 Drew So the press on nails.

44:44🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, okay. Well, let me say this.

44:47🔗 Drew And by the way, when the amygdala comes down the other side of the high, it goes down low and nothing's interesting.

44:53🔗 Adam That's right, man.

44:54🔗 Drew Then you feel bummed.

44:55🔗 Adam Yeah. Except for me. I'm interested in everything.

44:58🔗 Drew All right. So Lee Press on.

44:59🔗 Adam As long as it's coming out of my mouth. You know what I'm saying, Pop?

45:02🔗 Drew You're interested so come out of your ass.

45:03🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying, Daddy-o?

45:04🔗 Drew Come on, Lee Press.

45:06🔗 Adam So look, here's the thing. Okay, let me just start from the start. You live in a backward society. We all do. There's crazy stuff. I mean, look, there's devoutly religious people strapping dynamite to themselves and blowing up other devoutly religious people in the name of their religion. They're big, huge monster trucks mashing smaller parked cars in crowds and stadiums cheering. There's guys getting smashed in our head with folding chairs and micro underpants and crowds going insane. There's lots of weird, weird stuff. There's boob jobs. That's weird. Now, here's all the thing is you have to live in the middle of this effed up fruit salad known as life.

45:51🔗 Drew You screen it out.

45:52🔗 Adam You have to tune stuff out. Otherwise, you just go nuts. You start hearing these stories of the guy who dressed up as a clown, lured nine-year-old to his house, sodomized him, buried him under the house, and you would freak out with each and every story. So you have to start tuning things out. When you get high in mushrooms, you don't screen out that stuff anymore, and you just stare at it, and you see the commercial where the lady has the long red plastic stick-on nails, and she's sticking them to the ends of her fingers to make her claws look bloody, and this is going to attract the male species, and you go, freak out! Freak out!

46:27🔗 Drew Well, I understand. You mean, so the female of the human homo sapien takes plastic, red plastic spears, and glues them to the tips of the fingers because the male finds that more appealing?

46:38🔗 Adam Freak out!

46:40🔗 Drew Makes them have Freak out! Tumessence of their genital organs.

46:44🔗 Adam Freak out!

46:45🔗 Drew Because there's red plastic on the tips of their fingers.

46:47🔗 Adam Freak out! And what's the red? Is that blood? Is that blood from something they slaughtered, or is that blood that's rushing through them? The point is, is don't get high on mushrooms unless you're prepared to take a good look around and then freak out. And look, Drew hates it, he doesn't like it, he's against it, all that kind of stuff. But I'm telling you, it opens you up.

47:08🔗 Drew Hey, but listen, here's the deal. Why would I hate it if it-

47:11🔗 Adam You're uptight, you're the man.

47:12🔗 Drew Hey, but listen, if it just gave people an insight into life, I'd be all about it.

47:16🔗 Adam That's right.

47:17🔗 Drew I get to see the people a few years later when the brain damage manifests.

47:20🔗 Adam I took mushrooms once. All right, freak out. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah! Yeah! Loveline! I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew.

48:13🔗 Drew Adam's angry.

48:15🔗 Adam Wouldn't you be, Drew?

48:17🔗 Drew No.

48:18🔗 Adam No?

48:20🔗 Drew My self-esteem is too low.

48:22🔗 Adam Okay. Twice a week, I got to read some copy, and the copy is written so poorly that it completely needs to be rewritten, but it's grammatically F'd up most of the time.

48:32🔗 Drew Well, just the grammar would be bad enough. It doesn't make sense. It's horrible. Just prosaically, it's awful.

48:41🔗 Adam Here's what I'm supposed to read, everyone, and I'll record it and fix it up and do it, but here's what it is. You won't even know what the product is, but here's the beginning page, and it's a fat paragraph. It's half a page of dialogue. You know, Drew, this show is about love, and it is my only hope in life that our audience has some love in their life. That's the, that's the opening volley.

49:08🔗 Drew Yeah, that's the opening. That's gonna smash through.

49:11🔗 Adam Yeah, and it is my only hope in life. It's always, it's almost difficult to say it. It's like running through tires to put on the ground. You know, Drew, this show is about love, and it is my only hope in life that our audience has some love in their life. And by love, I mean sex, which sometimes means adult DVDs. Yeah, that is so strong.

49:34🔗 Best Of What's that first line that says the show is all about love?

49:36🔗 Drew Yeah, me and Loveline, I think.

49:38🔗 It should be switched to all about Adam, I think.

49:40🔗 Drew First of all.

49:41🔗 Adam Remember I was talking to you during the hall? Yeah, you were. Remember I said, everyone calls me an a-hole, but if this was TV, Anderson would have got fired a hundred years ago. Remember that? Didn't I just get done saying that?

49:51🔗 Best Of I was just making a little joke, man.

49:52🔗 Adam Come on. I know, I know. But I'm saying, Johnny Carson, he wouldn't have gone for that. You would have thought it was funny.

49:58🔗 Best Of Letterman wouldn't have gone for it.

49:59🔗 Adam Oh, man. That's my new hypothetical. How fast would Letterman have fired Anderson? Would he have made it into the building before he was fired? I could see him going through a revolving door and just spinning back out and being shot out just by some sort of a dismissal force that Letterman put around the building. All right, buddy.

50:18🔗 Drew All right. I got to plug something real quick. I'm looking for people for my television program with crazy hangups about their sex, whether it's phobias or difficulty kissing. Also, we're looking for a couple who has sort of gotten dull in bed, who are interested in sort of finding a way to spice things up a bit and what their problem has been running, why they've run out of steam. All right.

50:37🔗 Adam You're ready to rock?

50:37🔗 Drew I am indeed.

50:38🔗 Adam Funny. I was just talking about Anderson, huh?

50:40🔗 Drew It was well done.

50:41🔗 Adam Thank you. Justin?

50:43🔗 Best Of Yeah.

50:44🔗 Adam 24?

50:45🔗 Best Of Yep. 24 years old.

50:47🔗 Adam What's up?

50:48🔗 Drew By the way, I wouldn't have agreed to you with you that a hundred times, but tonight?

50:52🔗 Adam Yeah.

50:52🔗 Drew Tonight it would have happened.

50:53🔗 Adam That's right.

50:54🔗 Best Of What's that?

50:54🔗 Drew Sorry, Justin. What's up?

50:56🔗 Best Of No, I was just wondering.

50:57🔗 Drew I'm just joking to Anderson.

50:59🔗 Best Of Me and my wife have been married since 99. A few years after, we started having a few three ways with other women.

51:07🔗 Adam Healthy?

51:08🔗 Drew Yeah, well, it was.

51:10🔗 Best Of It was.

51:10🔗 Drew It was, huh? Yeah. So you got married at 18. Married at 18.

51:13🔗 Best Of Yeah, 18.

51:14🔗 Drew How old was she?

51:16🔗 Best Of 17.

51:17🔗 Drew Oof.

51:18🔗 Best Of Yeah.

51:18🔗 Drew Why the three ways?

51:20🔗 Best Of Well, I guess she says nothing's ever enough for me, so.

51:26🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

51:27🔗 Best Of I kind of talked her into it. You know, I started off slow with, you know, talking about other women and then, you know, trying to move her into the pornos and, you know. Oh, boy. Then got her like another girl.

51:36🔗 Drew Men are just diabolical, aren't they? Yeah. I'm sure he had a little war room set up, too.

51:40🔗 Adam And by the way, she says, you know, you're humping strange women and she's acting like you're having a third helping of stew.

51:48🔗 Best Of Oh, boy.

51:49🔗 Adam I'll tell you, he eats like a lumberjack. This one. Nothing's ever enough for this boy.

51:57🔗 Best Of Well, third one we had, I guess I was taking too much time on the other girl. And she got up and it was just horrible. She started yelling and going off and flipping out. You know what I mean?

52:08🔗 Adam No, I know. They can be tough that way.

52:10🔗 Drew That never happens in threesomes. Never.

52:12🔗 Adam That's why you have to incorporate a fourth woman. Right. Take care of her. Yeah.

52:17🔗 Best Of All right. I was kind of wondering if it's like, I don't know. I mean, I love my wife, but it's like she just can't, I guess, sexually satisfy me.

52:26🔗 Adam No, no, she's not. You're a lot of man.

52:29🔗 Best Of Well, yeah. I mean, but it's like it's always, you know, the thing is it's always available to me. We have a good sex life, but I just can't, you know, can't stop from going out and trying to get other partners.

52:38🔗 Drew Yeah, you shouldn't be married. You should not be married.

52:40🔗 Adam Thank God you got married at 17 and 18.

52:43🔗 Drew You have kids?

52:44🔗 Best Of No, we don't have any kids.

52:46🔗 Drew Oh, God bless you, God bless you, God bless you.

52:48🔗 Adam Now what's happened? She's got some kind of scarring on her tubes or something. Why haven't you two idiots cranked out 14 kids by now?

52:55🔗 Best Of I don't know, I smoked marijuana, maybe I could have something to do with it.

52:59🔗 Drew She must have screwed up tubes.

53:00🔗 Adam She has something wrong with her. You don't use birth control, do you?

53:03🔗 Best Of Yeah, she uses birth control all the time.

53:05🔗 Drew Oh, God bless her.

53:05🔗 Adam Is she on the pill?

53:07🔗 Best Of Yeah, she's on the pill. She was on a shot for a while.

53:09🔗 Drew Good times.

53:10🔗 Adam Who decides she should be on the shot, the state or her?

53:13🔗 Best Of Her. She was on the shot. She was on the shot when she was like 14.

53:19🔗 Adam Nice.

53:22🔗 Best Of Hold on.

53:23🔗 Adam I'm picturing is more of like a catch and release program, you know, where they just go gobble up. Chicks are missing front teeth and tag them with this thing.

53:32🔗 Drew Idaho is a very progressive state.

53:33🔗 Adam Let them go.

53:34🔗 Drew They get away with a lot up there.

53:36🔗 Adam Listen, when I'm in charge, look out. Something's up.

53:40🔗 Drew With him?

53:41🔗 Adam Well, no, of course, something's up with him.

53:43🔗 Drew But with her, too, of course, she hooked up with him.

53:46🔗 Adam Yeah. Was she a survivor of abuse?

53:51🔗 Best Of Yeah, she was molested by her father.

53:54🔗 Adam All right. Well, now shock. I'm on the floor.

53:59🔗 Drew I'm getting you up.

54:00🔗 Adam Thank God the mic came down with me. Help me up. Help me up.

54:03🔗 Drew It's just shocking.

54:05🔗 Adam Amazing.

54:06🔗 Drew Well, predictable.

54:07🔗 Adam Abuse continues.

54:08🔗 Drew Yes, exactly.

54:08🔗 Adam Fantastic. Oh, that's not true.

54:10🔗 Drew No, that is true, Justin. I understand you don't intend to be abusive.

54:14🔗 Adam What a saint. How dare you? Justin is a saint.

54:17🔗 Drew But here's the deal.

54:18🔗 Adam It's like the abuse baton was handed from stepfather to Justin. He and he carried it like the Olympic torch.

54:26🔗 Drew In Justin's defense, women that have been sexually abused like that oftentimes are attracted back to those abusive situations. They don't understand that's what is attracting them. That it's actually a reenactment of the trauma. When the trauma is reenacted, in reality, when it finally gets through, they freak out. So you've just been re-traumatized. It's fantastic.

54:44🔗 Adam And it's great.

54:44🔗 Drew And you go to 24-year-old Scrooge. How does he know that?

54:46🔗 Adam He doesn't know anything. And she, who was just basically destroyed by her stepfather, now just falls under the heading of horny.

54:56🔗 Drew Right.

54:57🔗 Adam She's now horny.

54:58🔗 Drew Yeah, it's just a hot, she was in a sex. What's the big deal?

55:00🔗 Adam It was a nine-year-old girl who was just as terrified and horrified by her horrible stepfather, really should be like in deep, deep therapy. But now, hey, she's horny. Yeah. Yeah, she likes it all the time.

55:14🔗 Drew That's the way our society looks on it. Yeah.

55:16🔗 Adam Why can't she just be horny? You threatened by that, right?

55:18🔗 Drew How dare you, Adam? How dare you?

55:19🔗 Adam Yeah. Justin? Yeah. All right, so here's what I need you guys to do.

55:24🔗 Best Of Uh-huh.

55:25🔗 Adam I need you not to have kids. Please, dear God, don't have kids. Can you do that for a while?

55:32🔗 Best Of Well, I don't plan on having kids anytime soon.

55:35🔗 Drew That's good.

55:36🔗 Adam I know you don't, but is she staying on her shot or pill or any?

55:39🔗 Best Of Yeah, she's staying on the pill. Well, I just wonder, why would you think we should not have kids?

55:44🔗 Drew Well, she's a trauma survivor.

55:46🔗 Adam She's a trauma survivor.

55:47🔗 Drew She's reenacting the traumas. You're participating in this. It's going to make for real chaos. I know you love your wife, but-

55:53🔗 Best Of So you mean she's going to be a drama queen down the road or?

55:56🔗 Drew No, not down the road. You're already well into it. And it's, again, she's not going to be able to really be steadily available for a child.

56:03🔗 Adam She's going to screw those kids up, and you're going to help.

56:06🔗 Drew The trauma gets passed on intergenerationally, Justin, and you've got to get a lot of help to make sure that doesn't happen. And you guys are not going down the path of health with the three, some sort of stuff. And you really, your thing is you shouldn't have been married. You want to have sex with lots of different girls. That's 24-year-old impulse. Fine. But now you're married. Thank God you don't have kids. You gotta really think about whether you want to stay married.

56:28🔗 Adam Yeah. Does she have any brothers or sisters?

56:31🔗 Best Of Yeah. She's got two brothers.

56:33🔗 Adam How are they doing?

56:35🔗 Best Of They're doing, one of them, like, they're doing good. They all have different fathers.

56:39🔗 Drew Oh, good times.

56:40🔗 Adam Yeah. Listen, and what do you do? Something around metal? Me? No.

56:47🔗 Best Of I'm in college.

56:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

56:49🔗 Best Of I go to college.

56:50🔗 Drew Boise State?

56:51🔗 Best Of Yeah. I'm going to Boise State.

56:53🔗 Adam What are you studying?

56:55🔗 Best Of Management right now.

56:57🔗 Drew Management? Restaurant management?

56:59🔗 Best Of Huh?

57:00🔗 Best Of They have, like, entrepreneur management. I was thinking about switching in to criminal justice, so...

57:08🔗 Adam No, no. You got a great copman. You'd be a perfect cop.

57:12🔗 Best Of Well, yeah, because they say the best criminals make the best cops, so...

57:15🔗 Adam Absolutely. Yeah. And I'll tell you who else makes good cops. Thrill seekers, alcoholics.

57:21🔗 Drew But Justin, I think, means well. Do you know what I mean?

57:25🔗 Adam He just doesn't... He's not a horrible guy. He's 20, or he was. You know, he got married when he was 18. He had a raging boner. He had a wife that was an abuse victim, so she's sort of pliable.

57:35🔗 Drew And was into sex? Yeah, yeah.

57:37🔗 Adam Let's go get this checked. No, that's the whole point. You can't break this stuff down. You can't make any sense of it until you're in your 30s, really. And that's why you shouldn't have any kids. Look, if she should get some therapy for abuse, you should stay in school, and you guys become more monogamous if you can, and start, you know, start your family in six years. All right?

58:00🔗 Caller There you go.

58:01🔗 Adam There you go. You ready to go here, Drew?

58:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:06🔗 Adam Shauna, 23.

58:09🔗 Caller Hello, yes.

58:10🔗 Adam Shauna, yes, what's up?

58:13🔗 Caller I've been an obese my whole entire life, and my problem is major.

58:19🔗 Best Of I love food.

58:21🔗 Caller I don't have a problem with exercising, but I love food, and I was wondering if they're ever gonna come out with anything that'll do something to like the taste buds or something. So, maybe.

58:32🔗 Drew But really, you're not buying the right videos. And following the right special diets. Yeah. And getting the right exercise program, because everyone knows if you take Jane Fonda's videos or Suzanne Summer's videos.

58:44🔗 Adam No.

58:45🔗 Drew Or follow a macrobiotic diet.

58:46🔗 Adam Listen, Heidi Klum just came out with a book.

58:49🔗 Drew Well, if you want to look like Heidi Klum, you just do what she tells you to do.

58:52🔗 Adam You gotta read that book, yeah. Yeah.

58:54🔗 Caller Yeah, and it just works, right?

58:56🔗 Drew Yeah, of course, of course.

58:58🔗 Adam Yeah, she's got first-time wings.

58:59🔗 Drew Or you can follow Dr. Phil's mentality and just choose not to eat. If you would choose that way, things would be worked out for you.

59:06🔗 Adam But let me tell you something too. I've learned from all the supermodels, Shana, if you feel sexy, then you are sexy. All 526 pounds of you. And stretch marks, pock marks, double chins. Men will be magically attracted to all 500 pounds of you as long as you feel sexy. It's what's inside. It's when a woman feels sexy. I love it. Yeah, yeah, right, hottie. Here's what I got to say to all the supermodels. Shut up and take your pants off, bitch. Get down in your underpants and shut up. Please shut your pie hole. Take your heroin, get in your underpants and start making and being. Shake that ass. Let me take a picture of you and beat off.

59:49🔗 Best Of Now shut up.

59:51🔗 Adam Jesus Christ.

59:54🔗 Best Of You got to feel beautiful.

59:55🔗 Adam It's what a woman, I'll tell you what's sexy is when a woman feels sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is coming from all six foot three, your blonde ass. Please. Just spare us all your retarded model platitudes. Just shut up.

1:00:11🔗 Drew But Shauna, here's the deal.

1:00:12🔗 Adam Writing books.

1:00:13🔗 Drew There is a future for you and there are two hormones, one called leptin and the other called.

1:00:18🔗 Adam What about feeling sexy, Drew? It's not going to be good. How much do you weigh, Shauna?

1:00:24🔗 Caller I weigh 270.

1:00:25🔗 Adam 270. But if you felt sexy, guys would see 120-pound, hotty-smoking, six-foot-high blonde chick. You understand?

1:00:35🔗 Caller You're naked, right?

1:00:36🔗 Adam Yeah. By the way, hold on a second. As a guy, we want hot chicks that feel ugly so we can pounce. Self-esteem is low enough to maybe get a handy on the first date. You know what I mean? Here's what I don't want. I don't want chunky chick that feels sexy. I want hot chick with low self-esteem.

1:00:56🔗 Drew You know what?

1:00:57🔗 Adam I want hot chick that...

1:00:59🔗 Drew But not just you. I think you're right. That's guys. That is men. Who are injured.

1:01:03🔗 Adam Hot chick whose mom convinced them they're ugly and fat.

1:01:06🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:01:07🔗 Adam Yeah. And I just swoop in. That's what we want.

1:01:10🔗 Drew That's guys. That is absolutely what guys do.

1:01:13🔗 Adam Right.

1:01:14🔗 Drew So women convince themselves because they're attracted to guys with confidence no matter what they look like.

1:01:19🔗 Adam Right.

1:01:19🔗 Drew That therefore men are attracted to women with confidence and feel good about themselves too. That is not true.

1:01:24🔗 Adam We want a...

1:01:25🔗 Drew That's not true.

1:01:25🔗 Adam We want a Ferrari that's convinced it's a K-car, not a Pacer that thinks it's a Maserati.

1:01:34🔗 Drew Give them the...

1:01:35🔗 Adam Yes, Drew.

1:01:36🔗 Drew Yes, you're right. I'm sorry. But now that I've given them the thing...

1:01:38🔗 Adam It's been almost 10 minutes since I've worked a car analogy into the show.

1:01:42🔗 Drew I appreciate that. But give them the lion waiting in the brush analogy too.

1:01:45🔗 Adam Oh, we want injured.

1:01:46🔗 Drew Yes.

1:01:46🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:01:47🔗 Drew Well, the guy, the women, the injured guy, ugh, they have a meeting, no good. Stay away. She doesn't want them, we don't want them. Forget it.

1:01:55🔗 Adam No, we want injured prey.

1:01:57🔗 Drew And we pounce.

1:01:57🔗 Adam Yeah. We're almost buzzards, sexual buzzards.

1:02:01🔗 Drew It's a little closer to sort of cats of prey than buzzards. Because we don't want them dead. A little, some. Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

1:02:10🔗 Adam No. Don't bring me into this. All right.

1:02:13🔗 Drew All right, let me talk to you.

1:02:13🔗 Adam We're talking about cats or cars. You know what I'd love to do? I'd love to, I'd love to, I have someone to just interview Chris after every show and ask him what it was about. He'd be like, Adam talked about cars and Drew talked about cats. I think they're big cats. I'm not, I don't think they were like tabbies. Every day. Every day. Shanna.

1:02:33🔗 Drew Yes. All right, Shanna, here's the future for you. There is a hormone called ghrelin and a hormone called leptin that are responsible, or at least partly responsible for appetite and how we feel hungry and when we feel hungry and what we feel like when we eat. And there will be blockers for those hormones in the next five to 10 years. But again, you have to feel sexy. You have to feel sexy for these things to work. But you won't, you're still in your 20s. But that's why the gastric bypass procedures are so popular right now is because you can't really adjust that biology any other way. And so they do it by changing the mechanics of how the food gets through your stomach. So there you go.

1:03:14🔗 Adam Now the other thing I've learned from supermodels is none of them wanted to be a model.

1:03:19🔗 Drew They were all convinced to do a contest by their screw off friends who all wanted to be models.

1:03:24🔗 Adam Yeah, there must be just some sort of horrible model publicist that just feeds them that crap. Let's see. How did you... Hey, Tyra, how did you get into modeling? Well, I took a good long look in the mirror when I was 15. I saw I was about six foot of just hot jugs and beautiful pouty lips and thought I could turn it into a buck. No. Let's see. Friend of yours wanted to be a model, dragged you along. No, no.

1:03:55🔗 Drew Pushed to a shoot.

1:03:56🔗 Adam Better, better. Signed you up for a modeling competition. Unbeknownst to you. And by the way...

1:04:03🔗 Drew That you needed a ride. Yeah.

1:04:06🔗 Adam And dragged... No, no. They don't really explain that part. Just somebody signed you up. Like if someone cast me in a gay porn film, I would have had to go to it. Where are you going? Out to Chatsworth. What happened? That stupid Jimmy cast me in another gay flick. I think this is a snuff film. Well, I got to go. I just hope I don't get AIDS or shot this time. Yeah.

1:04:28🔗 Drew Yeah, that's it.

1:04:28🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what you do. So, so you just...

1:04:30🔗 Drew Because no one...

1:04:31🔗 Adam You don't want to model.

1:04:32🔗 Drew The story is so sensational. No one asked the question, well, if you don't want to model, why'd you go? Who cares if your friend signed you up?

1:04:37🔗 Adam Yeah, right. And then the other part, too, is how you're pre-med.

1:04:42🔗 Drew Oh, all of them.

1:04:43🔗 Adam Let's see, you dropped out of the ninth grade to go to France to basically blow Arab guys into nose candy for five years. You're pre-med in the ninth grade. How's that work?

1:04:54🔗 Drew I remember that one. Was it Robin Givens went to medical school? She's in medical school. Yeah, no, not even close.

1:05:00🔗 Adam Yeah, it's called the UCLA Extension. It's a bungalow on wheels. It's not even on campus, please.

1:05:07🔗 Drew When I had the will to live, I was so insulted by this stuff.

1:05:12🔗 Adam Shauna?

1:05:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:14🔗 Adam Drew, more bitter than I am. Stupid models. Long legs.

1:05:19🔗 Caller Adam, you're awesome.

1:05:21🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah, listen. I am the fat person's best friend. I really am.

1:05:28🔗 Caller Not exactly.

1:05:29🔗 Drew No, because he appreciates the ostracism and the discrimination for people who are overweight. Being much more than just about any other group.

1:05:38🔗 Adam No, look.

1:05:39🔗 Caller One thing I do have to say is I've never been single since I was 16.

1:05:44🔗 Adam No.

1:05:44🔗 Drew That's nice.

1:05:45🔗 Adam Nice black boyfriend or?

1:05:46🔗 Best Of No.

1:05:48🔗 Adam White guys, huh? I'll tell you one thing that's happened, I think I've noticed is I believe that human beings have each and every one of us has a certain amount of vitriol in our heart toward people that are different. That's just the way it goes. But we're wired? Yeah, just kind of wired that way. You're one nationality and you're watching two guys box. You pull for your nationality, your color, your religion, whatever it is. If he's from your hometown, you're just sort of wired that way. And I think there's a certain amount of racism in everybody. I don't even really mean that in a bad way necessarily. It's just that's the way sort of humans are. And a lot of that got dead. We had to shut up about a lot of it. No more Polak jokes, no more black jokes, no more Mexican jokes, no more Italian jokes, no more any jokes of anything.

1:06:42🔗 Drew Just like other crappy impulses we have, it's good to contain them.

1:06:45🔗 Adam I agree. What ended up happening is all that got steered into fat people. Oh yeah. That's my belief. Over the last few years, everything has become politically incorrect.

1:06:55🔗 Drew Yep.

1:06:55🔗 Adam Fatty, still open season on fatty.

1:06:59🔗 Drew By the way, I think it's open season on the sort of mentally ill. Yes. I mean, all reality TV is, for the most part, is making fun of people that are sick.

1:07:06🔗 Adam Well, they don't classify them as sick, so they don't get into trouble. But I'm just saying, it's not a good time. Listen, was it good time to be fat like in the 20s, or even in the Roman era and stuff? It's like people first off hated other nationalities more than they hated fat people.

1:07:22🔗 Drew Full fat at one time was considered popular.

1:07:24🔗 Adam And then it was just considered robust. Yeah. Look at that rich girl.

1:07:27🔗 Drew Right.

1:07:27🔗 Adam People just thought you're rich.

1:07:28🔗 Drew Look at her.

1:07:29🔗 Adam Yeah. Now it's bad times. Now you're getting all the energy everyone has for everyone else and they're dumping it right into your fat ass. Horrible. Also, there's not that much you can do about it when you've been fat your whole life. You're just one of those people.

1:07:41🔗 Drew It's your genetics.

1:07:42🔗 Adam It's your genetics.

1:07:43🔗 Drew That's why Shana is appropriate looking for biological solutions and there will be some forthcoming in the next few years.

1:07:47🔗 Adam But she also says she can't control her eating.

1:07:50🔗 Drew But there are some people that really can't. Yeah.

1:07:53🔗 Adam But here's the other thing too. And show me a 19-year-old guy who can control his eating. I mean, I know guy. I mean, when I was growing up and now, are you kidding? Like, especially males, males just, they just go to, you know, they eat at Jack of the Box. They eat in and out. They eat breakfast cereal, a sugary breakfast cereal. I mean, they eat all the wrong things. You never see some 19-year-old guy shucking a carrot. I'm making myself a salad. You want some beets? Are you kidding me? They just go and they go out to dinner. They order the greasiest, biggest and then the dessert and the, you know, the fries with everything and everything smothered in ketchup, barbecue sauce, everything's fried. I mean, this is what 19-year-olds do. This is what 20-year-olds do, especially males. There's ones that are just bone, bone skinny. I mean, that's it. I mean, you see, you see guys, what's the last time you saw a fat guy drinking a regular Coke? Fat guys drink diet Cokes and this bone, skinny guys drink regular Cokes. They just eat crap. They just, they just, they just.

1:09:00🔗 Drew It's just their genes.

1:09:01🔗 Adam Dr. Bruce is like, you ever see Dr. Bruce?

1:09:06🔗 Drew Yes, I've seen him.

1:09:07🔗 Adam Do you know who I'm talking about?

1:09:08🔗 Drew Yes.

1:09:09🔗 Adam Dr. Bruce looks like someone put a skull on a moth panel.

1:09:14🔗 Drew It's basically what he's built like a mud crane.

1:09:17🔗 Adam Dr. Bruce is the only guy I know who puts 16 sugar packets in his coffee.

1:09:23🔗 Drew Yes, it would never touch Splenda.

1:09:25🔗 Adam And if you saw an overweight guy doing what Dr. Bruce does, you'd be like, you pig, would you have some self-esteem? You're out of control. There needs to be an intervention. Look at you, you big fat blimp. Look at you. You disgust me. No, the skinny guys eat like pigs. They just don't get fat. That's it. It's just genetics. Who, by the way, looks any different than what they ever were and what they look like in the past, what they looked like yesterday or a year earlier, who's ever done anything? Yeah, you exercise, you try to eat right, but you get your shape. That's about it. Why do we got to beat the crap out of the fat ones?

1:10:02🔗 Drew I'm with you.

1:10:03🔗 Adam All right.

1:10:04🔗 Drew Take a break.

1:10:05🔗 Adam Let's take a break. Damn models. But I love them. You know what I mean?

1:10:10🔗 Drew You said you take pictures and beat off them.

1:10:13🔗 Adam Oh, no. I just I don't take the pictures.

1:10:16🔗 Drew You told them to hold still so the pictures can be taken so you could beat off them. Yeah.

1:10:20🔗 Adam Oh, I thought you said I took the pictures.

1:10:21🔗 Drew No, no, I know. No, I know you do.

1:10:23🔗 Adam No, I don't.

1:10:23🔗 Drew Because you'd be too busy.

1:10:25🔗 Adam Yeah, too busy. No tripod steady enough for that.

1:10:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:10:29🔗 Adam Take a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:10:32🔗 Caller I'm kind of like chunky.

1:10:57🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, I'm back. Yeah, car broke down. And let me tell you something about Los Angeles. When that car breaks down, it's never in a good neighborhood. It's never in a good neighborhood. It's always bad because the freeways, everything about Los Angeles, freeways usually run through the crappy neighborhoods for the most part. So they borrow the land and if you're on the freeway and the thing breaks down. But let me tell you, I got a few things to say. First off, when you break down on the freeway or on the highway, it is your job because you're going 75 to get the F off the freeway. You know, the people that are actually stopped in the fast lane or just stopped. The ones that are just stopped in the middle, they're like, well, you just, you just coasted for four miles. You didn't, no, nothing, no, no. Okay, once in a while it's bumper to bumper and you blow a head gasket. What are you going to do? Even in that case, put the car in first and just keep working the starter until you can inch your way onto the shoulder. I can't, and by the way, there's nothing more dangerous than you sitting out there. Forget about us who are being held up and actually wishing you're dead. You may actually be dead. You're going to get clipped by a drunk driver in a semi.

1:12:07🔗 Drew That's by the way, the guy that gets out of his car too. That's the same guy.

1:12:10🔗 Adam I like that guy.

1:12:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:12:11🔗 Adam He's got to run across to get his coffee. He's got a travel mug in there full of, full of Sanka. He's got to get that. So I'm in the fast lane and all of a sudden notice a serious power decrease in the vehicle. So immediately the fire up the hazard thing, you know, into neutral, blinkers on and going over, nursed it up the off ramp, made it down to a gas station down on that was pretty good. Rampart and Hoover. So tough neighborhood. Of course, the guy behind at the gas station was Murph from the old 76 commercial. Red Hat, Gentleman, running out there.

1:12:48🔗 Drew A little rag, he was wrenching on something.

1:12:50🔗 Adam It was like one of those commercials. Mr. Corolla, what can we do you for? We're going to burn some midnight oil. You got to make that radio show. Offered me a cup of post-em while I waited. Or was it the surly foreigner?

1:13:04🔗 Drew Oh, let me think. I'm going to imagine the picture.

1:13:06🔗 Adam By the way, you breaking down, you getting your car to a gas station in Los Angeles, you think it's olly olly, oxygen free, like you've hit your safe zone. Oh no, the troubles just began. I mean, you're not on the freeway. You're not going to get clipped. You're not going to get the shiv put in you by a gang member anymore, but worse.

1:13:25🔗 Drew Well, let me try to figure it out. You got to deal with them. You got the stealing guy, but then you start to interact. And it's, this can't stay here. This don't stay here. This is not a parking lot.

1:13:35🔗 Adam Everything is, everything is all part of an elaborate ruse. So you can steal like a bottle of Pepsi or something. What, what is, what is here? Listen, my car broke down. Well, you cannot, you cannot leave. I, is there a mechanic? No, it's not. It's like, first off, I know, yes, you should be very suspicious. People are taking their expensive cars in the middle of the night in their sweatpants. Thank Christ, is this close to wearing my slippers? This close. I want to know how lazy you are. You want to know how close, you want to know how close I was to wear my slippers to work tonight? I walked out of the house with one shoe on and one slipper on knowing or hoping that the other shoe was in the car.

1:14:18🔗 Drew In other words, whichever you found first is what you wore.

1:14:21🔗 Adam I was in my driveway, one slipper on, and at first thought, thank Christ, not my slippers.

1:14:26🔗 Drew Yeah, it's like, by the way, he sees this.

1:14:28🔗 Adam Oh, I don't know if I'm wearing underpants. I've got to work that out. Anyway, point is, is there I am at the gas station now, nursed the car in and parked it somewhere out of the way. It's not in the filling station parts off to the side, but, you know, so listen, I got to leave my car here. Is there a mechanic that this can not stay there? You know, it's off the side as far as I can get. No, it needs, you know, now the thing's probably got a blown head gasket or something. It's time to fire it up again so I can.

1:14:56🔗 Drew Oh, you made you move it.

1:14:57🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:14:57🔗 Drew Oh, God.

1:14:58🔗 Adam Yeah, it's nice. I can. That way I can hear the valves hitting the top of the pistons as they run into each other inside my engine. You know, it's like, you know, of course, it's on the other side. Just park it over. I was like, OK, where's the mechanic? When's the mechanic? He's not here. He's here tomorrow. OK.

1:15:14🔗 Drew All right. Same gas station. Doesn't mind having a Camino packed out there. Parts out there all day.

1:15:18🔗 Adam Listen, here's the kicker. Ten dollars.

1:15:21🔗 Drew He's going to charge you.

1:15:22🔗 Adam He's going to. Oh, yeah. Because again, part of an elaborate ruse. I want to do some.

1:15:26🔗 Drew You're taking advantage.

1:15:27🔗 Adam I want to hit the Ranchero Club across the street and, you know, be boozing all night. My Latin ladies over there. I can get out of the of the four dollar parking fee behind the club. I'm talking over here.

1:15:39🔗 Drew How dare you?

1:15:39🔗 Adam But I put a little smoke bomb under my hood and I push my car in. And by the way, this is my outfit. I wear when I go out and see the ladies, the sweat pants with the sweatshirt and the sweat stains.

1:15:51🔗 Drew Now, that guy is not the shop owner. Yes, he owns that 10 bucks going right in his pocket.

1:15:55🔗 Adam He's like, he owns the garage. He owns the gas station. But the guy who does the garage part is not around.

1:16:03🔗 Drew No way.

1:16:04🔗 Adam So here's the deal. Now, I can get my ten dollars back if they work on my car. You know, but the notion that we've come, you know, here's what the gas station used to be. You need a ride. You need some gas. You want to borrow a can. You need a Crescent Ranch. Let me give you a hand. You want me to check that oil. Now, it's literally your car breaks down at a gas station in the middle of the night.

1:16:29🔗 Drew It's trouble.

1:16:29🔗 Adam You tell the guy, once the soonest the mechanic can show up, he tells you, ate the next morning, you say, fine. He needs a deposit. The car's broken down.

1:16:39🔗 Drew He's got the car.

1:16:40🔗 Adam He's got the car. Oh, it is just, here's all I'm saying. All you a-holes, all of you actors, all of you writers, all of you models that are planning on coming here from Wisconsin and Iowa, North Dakota, be prepared for this because they don't tell you about that. It's all, oh, you guys got, oh, you beautiful weather. You got the bikini girls, you got the beach, you got the palm trees. How about getting aft every time you go to the gas station? How about every time you go to the market? Everything you do, you have to, every transaction is through four inches of loose site if the talk into a sliding drawer. Think about that. I don't think you know what that is.

1:17:22🔗 Drew I mean, when you're from whatever town you're from and you're from Wisconsin, we tried to get a gay, we were looking for a restroom. And then we went in there and they're like, hey, how do you, it's right over here. We were like, oh, what?

1:17:33🔗 Adam Come on in.

1:17:34🔗 Drew Then we're going to get jumped back there, something wrong.

1:17:36🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. She actually, nice blonde chick behind the counter said I could make into her hand. She just said, just sweetie, just do it right in my hand. That's okay.

1:17:45🔗 Drew Whatever you need.

1:17:45🔗 Adam Whatever you need. Yeah. Squeegeed my ass and we're on our way. No, you moved to Los Angeles, be prepared. You will be getting the stink eye from everyone who owns a gas station.

1:17:56🔗 Drew And a convenience store. Oh, they're all the same guys.

1:17:59🔗 Adam Yeah. And it's all, here's the thing, you are guilty until proven innocent. You come in there.

1:18:05🔗 Drew Well, no, no, it gets a little more elaborate than that because it's guilty until proven innocent. And then we got to take advantage of you. Right. Now you're an object of victimization. Once we know you're not guilty, we're going to victimize you.

1:18:16🔗 Adam Can not. Yeah, my car. But what this car? It is break down. No, what? No, what are you doing? No, no, it's just not tender. Listen, my car is broken. I don't think I can move it. I just leave it here over. No, the guy, he come and no. It's like, oh, the love of F, really? Couldn't just not just one guy. There's not one goddamn guy in this city. It's just like, hey, buddy, it's cool. Yeah. Oh, that's, oh, yeah, that's a bitch. Yeah. You got, you got a ride? Oh, like the part about them even saying like, Well, think about it.

1:18:50🔗 Drew Somebody did something that you think, okay, what is he up to? Yeah, he's going to rape me in the bathroom.

1:18:54🔗 Adam He's gay. He's coming on to me. Yeah. Is there, is there a guy by the way in Los Angeles that says something like, you want me to use the phone, call a cab or something like forget about that part. It's just, no, cannot park.

1:19:05🔗 Drew Well, think about this.

1:19:05🔗 Adam Cannot.

1:19:07🔗 Drew Where is a good place in LA to break down?

1:19:08🔗 Adam Nowhere.

1:19:09🔗 Drew Is there any place on your own home?

1:19:11🔗 Adam No.

1:19:12🔗 Drew That you can park and break down and you're going to be okay?

1:19:14🔗 Adam Here's what I would imagine. I would imagine if you lived in like Beverly Hills, maybe the Palisades, kind of like Woodland Hills, Malibu, some expensive area, you use the same station over and over again and had a rapport with the pit bull that was in the glass chamber, maybe it would work out. But anything other than breaking down at your local thing in your nice neighborhood just down the street that you do all your business at, forget it. It's all just suspicion and knock and not to what? No, it's like, hey, hey.

1:19:48🔗 Drew But the thing is, if you picked around the street, they're going to tow your car. I mean, because you can't park between hours of two and five and they're going to take your car. You can't go to like a parking structure because they're collect chance.

1:20:00🔗 Adam Here's, please, please, all the people that work in the gas stations of the greater Los Angeles area, will you please go back to wherever armpit that you come from, please. Just go, get on a plane, go to your mother, Scrotemburg or whatever that smelly black hole of, I can only imagine the crap filled nation you're from because everyone is just a complete a-hole. And please understand, it's not a goddamn Turkish bizarre. Not everything is wrangling, not everyone's looking for an angle. Everybody in Los Angeles that owns a gas station is a goddamn auctioneer in a Turkish bizarre. It's like I'm not buying, it's not white slavery ring. I'm not trying to buy cattle or a camel. I just want to drop my goddamn car off. It's not, what this? What this guy? What this here? No, you cannot. It's like, really? It's business. Can we just, I'll give you some money, you fix the effing car. It's got to be like, everyone's got to be an angle. Oh yeah, can I leave my, and by the way, you know, if I said, listen, you ask them something, or look, I'm going to need to drop off $100 and give you a BJ with that.

1:21:18🔗 Best Of No, cannot, no.

1:21:20🔗 Adam It's like, if it's your idea to do anything, forget about it. Listen, listen, Habib, I'm going to need you to bang my wife while I go ahead and put a coat of carnauba wax on your van. Is that cool?

1:21:33🔗 Best Of No, cannot, no. Cannot what?

1:21:35🔗 Adam No. It's like, if they decide, if they figure it out, it's cool. If it's your idea, it's not going to, you know, if I'd parked my car on the other side of the lot, he would have had me move it back to where it was. It's awesome. It's awesome. This is a great city. Come on down. Come on down. Pack up those crappy cars and come on down. Let the abuse begin. I'm telling you people, you don't know what you're in for, and they never talk about it. No one ever does. Oh, we got the Rose Parade. We got Malibu Beach in the sun. Come on down and get yelled at by some foreigners. Come on down, everybody. It's beautiful.

1:22:10🔗 Best Of All right.

1:22:10🔗 Adam Let's take a break, Drew.

1:22:11🔗 Drew Oh, no, I'll take a call.

1:22:12🔗 Best Of No, no, no.

1:22:13🔗 Drew No, let's not take a call. No calls.

1:22:15🔗 Best Of No calls.

1:22:16🔗 Drew No calls. No calls.

1:22:17🔗 Best Of We take calls.

1:22:18🔗 Adam Yes, it's a call. Nikki?

1:22:21🔗 Best Of Yeah.

1:22:22🔗 Adam You're 18?

1:22:23🔗 Best Of Yep.

1:22:24🔗 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

1:22:27🔗 Best Of I've been masturbating since forever, and I want to know if it's, like, desensitizing and if it's permanent.

1:22:34🔗 Adam What have you been using?

1:22:36🔗 Best Of Showerhead.

1:22:37🔗 Drew Oh, well, no, no. I mean, that's...

1:22:39🔗 Adam But it's the kind that's actually mounted up on the wall.

1:22:41🔗 Drew Oh, not the kind you can pull off?

1:22:43🔗 Adam No, no, this is six and a half feet, and it's actually hard, hard plumbed right in on. She's getting up there. She's got to pull herself up. I mean, it's dangerous.

1:22:51🔗 Best Of No, man. It's the kind that comes off.

1:22:53🔗 Adam Oh, okay. All right.

1:22:55🔗 Drew And you feel. Yeah, you shouldn't be desensitized significantly by that. And it's basically a healthy thing for you to do. So it's fine.

1:23:04🔗 Caller Oh, and it's my boyfriend's fault if I don't get off when he's fingering me.

1:23:10🔗 Drew Yes. Don't expect that. You don't expect much out of males unless you show them exactly what you need.

1:23:15🔗 Adam Yeah. The fingering thing is.

1:23:18🔗 Drew That's a tall order.

1:23:19🔗 Adam Very overrated. Yeah.

1:23:20🔗 Drew It's overrated. A tall order for an 18 year old male.

1:23:22🔗 Adam Yeah. And.

1:23:23🔗 Best Of 18 year old. No, he's not 18, my friend.

1:23:25🔗 Drew Okay. Any male.

1:23:27🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. And by the way, fingering, you break out the finger as an adult about as much as you break out the ovaltine. Like it's.

1:23:36🔗 Drew And the post-um. Post-um's on the menu about the same amount of time.

1:23:40🔗 Adam Fingering, post-um, and ovaltine. It's like.

1:23:42🔗 Drew They all go together.

1:23:43🔗 Adam It's not on the menu anymore.

1:23:44🔗 Drew Not alone. Not individually.

1:23:46🔗 Adam Just it ain't on your adult menu. Am I right?

1:23:49🔗 Drew Yeah, absolutely.

1:23:50🔗 Adam Last time you did the fingering. So I said we had spaghettios, right?

1:23:54🔗 Drew Yes.

1:23:54🔗 Adam Okay.

1:23:55🔗 Drew Yes. Remind me when we get back from the break to tell you I went to Atlanta and went to a functional MRI lab.

1:24:03🔗 Best Of Oh yeah, yeah.

1:24:04🔗 Drew And I got in the MRI scanner and they showed what my brain does in response to pornography.

1:24:09🔗 Adam Really?

1:24:10🔗 Drew Oh.

1:24:10🔗 Best Of Wow.

1:24:11🔗 Adam It's a firework show, huh?

1:24:13🔗 Drew Comedy.

1:24:14🔗 Adam Interesting. All right. MRI with Drew after this.

1:24:19🔗 Best Of Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:24:36🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Well, we just tested our urine.

1:24:42🔗 Drew And I discovered new talent.

1:24:44🔗 Adam Drew was fine. I could hear him from the stall, like a nice steady stream going, then all of a sudden it cuts off. He's like, stopped it. Then I hear the stream go in, stop again.

1:24:53🔗 Drew There you go.

1:24:54🔗 Adam Did it, did about four or five times.

1:24:56🔗 Drew No problem.

1:24:56🔗 Adam Nice job. Full tank too.

1:24:58🔗 Drew Well done.

1:24:59🔗 Adam Yeah. I just had about a quarter tank, so it was kind of tough. I wasn't, you know, wasn't fair to compare. Drew and I take the long walk to the bathroom during the break every time we take one of our formative breaks. Drew, I notice now he's got something going on. He's coughing, he's sneezing. He always walks ahead of me and he always likes to cough and sneeze ahead of me. And the thing I find incredibly ironic about Dr. Drew being a doctor is he refuses to put his hand in front of his face.

1:25:29🔗 Drew If I actually had something you could catch, I would of course do that.

1:25:32🔗 Adam Let's just say, let's just say the atomized snot on my trouser like is even that's more like, and then when you're walking behind, when you're about two steps behind somebody and you're sort of making time down a hallway when they let a nice big sneeze go and they don't even begin to put their hand even close to your face, you can just sort of walk through their cloud of snot as you make to the bathroom. And then Drew starts coughing and they start sneezing again. And Drew, here's the other thing, I grew up like a possum.

1:26:05🔗 Drew How many illnesses have you caught from me?

1:26:06🔗 Adam I don't care.

1:26:07🔗 Drew Any? Ever?

1:26:08🔗 Adam Listen, who knows? Everything I've ever gotten, every cavity I've ever gotten, every shit I've ever gotten is for me as far as I'm concerned. Number two, I grew up raised by stupid hillbillies and I still put my hand in front of my nose when I sneeze just so I don't blast it all over the place. Drew who I've talked to him about eight times about this just can't do it. I just think it's bizarre. It's almost like it's impulsive to most people to put their hand. I mean, people will be sitting alone on their sofa and sneeze and the hand will come up almost reflexively. You know what I'm saying? How can you just walk next to somebody with their hands by their side and just sneeze that way? It's bizarre. You see, here's the thing. You're well-mannered and you're a doctor. Forget about the doctor part, but just the whole part, just the well-mannered part would make it, people put their hands up. It's like when they cough, they put their hands up. Yeah, nothing.

1:27:09🔗 Drew No, it's not nothing. I do that most of the time.

1:27:12🔗 Adam Most of the time?

1:27:12🔗 Drew Most of the time. Sometimes.

1:27:13🔗 Adam Really? Sometimes.

1:27:15🔗 Drew Sometimes, cough is what it sneaks up on me. I don't realize it. It just poof comes.

1:27:19🔗 Adam Let me shoot holes in your most of the time stuff. This stuff, it's like when somebody tells you, hey, I smoke a cigarette or two a day and I'll take a Vicodin, but only one. You never believe them. Because you think, look, either you do it or you don't. And that's my thing with the sneezing. If your hand goes up, your hand goes up. That's the kind of person you are. Or your hand doesn't go up. But you're not a catch-as-catch-can with the hand going in front of your face. I've seen you sneeze 400 times. I've never seen a hand go up.

1:27:48🔗 Drew I'll sneeze away before I put my hand up.

1:27:50🔗 Adam You'll sneeze away.

1:27:52🔗 Drew The way things are transmitted is on your hands. That's how you transmit stuff.

1:27:55🔗 Adam The same in a petting zoo, mister. You do do the turn away. I'll give you that. I should be grateful for that. Just walking down the hall. How about the hand goes up?

1:28:04🔗 Drew That's how you transmit it. Then we're going to see what you get. What do my fidgety hands get on your stuff?

1:28:10🔗 Adam I don't touch you. Just put your hand in front of you, then wash your hands then if that's, if you must. That's your truth.

1:28:16🔗 Drew That's a better advice.

1:28:17🔗 Adam You're standing by, you're just a lawn, a rain bird of snot. It's just the walk behind you and you just, just explode like an M80 going down the hall. That's right, stand by. All right, fantastic. Nicole?

1:28:32🔗 Best Of Yes, fine. Okay, we want to know, my friend and I, we want to know if you can contract herpes if you're in the same jacuzzi as somebody else, that definitely I know has herpes.

1:28:43🔗 Drew No, definitely not.

1:28:45🔗 Best Of Oh, thank God.

1:28:46🔗 Drew You could get, I'll tell you what you could do, if that person had active lesions and sat in a pool of water on the side of the pool, and then you very quickly sat in on, directly on that same spot, that's a possible way you could get it.

1:29:01🔗 Adam Yeah, even that, probably better, sharing a towel.

1:29:05🔗 Drew Sharing a towel, also a wet towel, if they wipe their, their lesion on the towel.

1:29:10🔗 Caller I just wipe myself all the time.

1:29:12🔗 Best Of I have to go for that.

1:29:15🔗 Caller I just want to have a good time drinking this jacuzzi, you know?

1:29:17🔗 Drew People have herpes.

1:29:18🔗 Best Of Everybody's telling me, they get herpes.

1:29:20🔗 Drew 24?

1:29:21🔗 Best Of Yeah.

1:29:22🔗 Caller 24, yeah, I'm sorry.

1:29:23🔗 Best Of Yeah, good time.

1:29:25🔗 Adam Hey, enjoy the party while it lasts, it's cool.

1:29:27🔗 Caller Thank you very much, thank you guys.

1:29:29🔗 Adam Yeah, hold on, hold on. Yeah, this is a girl, right?

1:29:33🔗 Best Of Yes, this is a girl.

1:29:35🔗 Adam I knew it was a girl, by the way, because there's a sort of girl on girl attack.

1:29:38🔗 Best Of Oh no, why do you say that?

1:29:40🔗 Best Of Dude, everybody says that.

1:29:41🔗 Adam Because you guys, here's what you do. You all hang out, you claim to be best friends, and then you snipe at each other.

1:29:47🔗 Drew We're gangin up on this girl. You're talking about her as though she was some sort of a, you know, pariah. She's like, she's infectious. She's gonna get us, and we can shun her. We can successfully all shun her for this condition she has.

1:30:00🔗 Best Of Yeah, I need it. If I'm gonna go that way, I'm gonna need a hotter chicken this year. I need someone with big old, you know.

1:30:08🔗 Adam Well, what do you got upstairs?

1:30:11🔗 Best Of I gotta see, dude, you know? Like, I need some.

1:30:13🔗 Adam You gotta see?

1:30:14🔗 Best Of I gotta get a sunsprain, you know, if I'm gonna go that way.

1:30:17🔗 Drew Orange Coast College? Where you going? OCC?

1:30:21🔗 Best Of No, no, no. I go to Cal State Fullerton.

1:30:23🔗 Adam All right.

1:30:24🔗 Best Of All right.

1:30:25🔗 Adam And who are you guys with? Do you like to party?

1:30:28🔗 Best Of I like to party, yeah.

1:30:30🔗 Caller I'm not a part right now.

1:30:31🔗 Caller We've been trying to get through for so long. We kept talking to your screenings, but.

1:30:34🔗 Adam Were you guys all naked in the jacuzzi together?

1:30:37🔗 Caller No, no, no.

1:30:37🔗 Caller We haven't done it yet.

1:30:38🔗 Best Of It's tomorrow and I just didn't have the heart to say, no, I can't go in the fall with her because you got her.

1:30:44🔗 Caller Because you got herpes.

1:30:45🔗 Drew How do you know she's got herpes? How do you know she's got that?

1:30:47🔗 Best Of She told me. She told me, dude.

1:30:49🔗 Caller That was a close friend of mine.

1:30:51🔗 Best Of She got a jacuzzi, so I'm like, yeah, let's party. And then my brother and my friend's boyfriend is saying like, we'll contract it, you know?

1:30:59🔗 Drew No, no.

1:31:01🔗 Caller All right.

1:31:01🔗 Drew I'll see you heard about 12 years of the hospital.

1:31:03🔗 Adam Herpes and small boobs.

1:31:06🔗 Best Of Oh, my.

1:31:06🔗 Adam That's great.

1:31:07🔗 Drew Oh, my.

1:31:07🔗 Adam All right. Who are you getting in the jacuzzi with, her and who else?

1:31:11🔗 Caller My friend Michelle.

1:31:12🔗 Adam Oh, all three of you. Oh, Michelle's going to be in there?

1:31:14🔗 Best Of It's going to get hot and we're going to drink a lot, too.

1:31:17🔗 Adam You guys all going to be naked?

1:31:19🔗 Best Of I think it was that way, but.

1:31:21🔗 Adam Yeah. And do you think you guys are going to do a little experimentation sexually?

1:31:26🔗 Caller I don't think so.

1:31:27🔗 Best Of I'm not really up for it. I closed the shop, you know.

1:31:30🔗 Adam All right.

1:31:31🔗 Drew What was the shop?

1:31:32🔗 Adam Yeah. By the way, they don't take more than a credit card and a little Jimmy on the door to get into that shop. It's open for business again. That ain't the kind of shop that has the metal folding screen and the padlock on it. No, that's the big thing you pull down the big pull down metal door. No, no, no. That shop, just an old shop. It doesn't even have a deadbolt. Just has the privacy lock, you know, just can you just, Jimmy, it's just shaking around a little bit.

1:31:59🔗 Drew Scissor.

1:32:00🔗 Adam Yeah. I remember when your sister would lock herself in the bathroom and didn't take much anything just to get in there. That's what it would take to get into that shop, dude, dude. Yeah. That is hot. You know, I don't know why I was thinking about being nude in a jacuzzi, but here's the thing. Somebody pointed this out to me. I think it was during my bachelor party. It's weird if like if a guy gets in jacuzzi and he puts his trunks on, he gets in jacuzzi and then a bunch of other guys pile in jacuzzi, but they're just nude, like just not, not gay nude, just nude, nude, you know, dude, nude, not gay, dude, nude, you know what I mean?

1:32:35🔗 Drew Whatever.

1:32:36🔗 Adam Yeah. Just, you know, guys comfortable. Whatever. Now, the guy who's in his shorts is kind of weird because he's wearing swim trunks and everyone else is, you know, free balling. So, but it becomes super weird for him to now take his trunks off once he's in there with his trunks on.

1:32:51🔗 Drew It is super weird, right? Yes.

1:32:53🔗 Adam Why is that so like weird, creepy?

1:32:55🔗 Drew It's like you're not supposed to know some of the people are nude when you're a bunch of guys, right? Not supposed to know this. Right. You're not supposed to be up tight either way. So you're making an statement by taking it off.

1:33:04🔗 Adam Now you're in your trunk and you're taking them off.

1:33:05🔗 Drew And you're disrobing in front of your friends.

1:33:07🔗 Adam Who are nude.

1:33:07🔗 Drew It's weird.

1:33:08🔗 Adam Who are nude. All right. We'll work this out after this. Wow, that was exhausting.

1:33:47🔗 Drew Flew by.

1:33:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:33:49🔗 Drew You knew it was good.

1:33:49🔗 Adam Where does the time go? I need a cold one and a warm one and a hot one.

1:33:56🔗 All right?

1:33:57🔗 Drew All right.

1:33:57🔗 Adam All right, Drew, so until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:34:04🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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