12:40🔗
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.
13:00🔗
Voiceover
With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Oh, number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Oh, yeah.
13:38🔗
Adam
It's good. Tearing into a house, tearing up. Storyline is I'm buying my dad's old house, the house I was in in junior high and high school, tearing it up and building it and selling it. And, you know, I'll tell you, you know, you know how I have just ice watered my veins.
14:07🔗
Adam
They keep saying to me, what's it like tearing into your old house, your old room, the room you grew up in?
14:16🔗
Adam
Yeah. It's like, I have no fear. I don't think about it. It's just wood. You know, it's like, is that weird? No. Not standing in the room that you were in junior high?
14:37🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. Don't care. And here's the thing. Don't think about it ever. But here's the thing I do. And I should have started doing it because there was an ad on the house. And we're trying to figure out what year it was added on. And the work was done. And we busted up on one wall. We're just standing there, like out of a movie scene. She said, I wonder what year this was. 50s, early 60s. And right in front of us, just a big pencil written on the back side of a piece of drywall, you know, that was facing us in the wall in the bay, said, Remod, 1958. And that guy's like Bob Johnson. Oh, I just took a big fat construction pencil, signed his work, put the thing. And it was a time capsule.
15:22🔗
Adam
And I've run into that before. I've done, I've done re-miles where you run into newspapers and things that people sometimes intentionally or unintentionally leave behind. And I have come across like two by fours that were like signed by the guy with the date next to it. So, you know, 50 years ago, and I'm sure Bob Johnson's dead now.
15:53🔗
Adam
No, never done that. But here's the thing. You should do it. It is kind of cool. Because houses probably get torn up about every 50 years. And it's about long enough for you to be in your 90s. And they will find your name and the date next to it. And it's kind of cool for them to find out for us to find out exactly what year this thing went down. I had to put the guy's name in a computer or something, try to find him if he's still around.
16:18🔗
Drew
One of the very exciting things tonight, we have an iTunes giveaway. First 10 callers that get on the air with an iTunes gift card valued at $99. For those of you who are 18 years of older, the first 10, and then get on the air.
16:37🔗
Adam
There's a device, they hard wire it in. Wow. See, I got the cradle. You know, I got the cradle with the goose neck.
16:47🔗
Adam
The cradle with the goose neck thing is pretty good. Got that kind of universal goose neck thing, plugs into the cigarette lighter, has the cradle. You put the iPod on the cradle, goes through your stereo system. It seems good, except for, I have a car where the cigarette lighter, which is no longer a cigarette lighter in a car, it's an AC adapter, basically. It's a phone cord. In my particular car, it is between the two seats behind me. Oh. It is. So, Drew, as you drive, the gooseneck thing is here. We'll go out and sit in my car, and you'll laugh like a hyena. So now you're driving down the road, and you're trying to change your channel, and you have a choice of going sort of backside with the right hand, which will never work, and the thing just falls over, or sort of reaching across your, it's actually behind me. So impossible to use. So I pass these signs on the boulevard, and it says, you know, iPod, you know, hardwire iPod system installed, 99 bucks.
17:55🔗
Adam
You do, I think, whatever, but you just get it hardwired. Yeah. It's in your car hardwired now. Except for when I call up, uh-huh, what kind of, 2002, I have $449. You know what I mean? Like, why do you always have the most expensive version of everything? Do you know what I'm saying?
18:34🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. Well, I'm the only guy in the world. I was I was working all day and because I'm on a I'm on a construction site. And, you know, I got to have the radio. Can't have the radio on because they're shooting. You know, it doesn't work right. Even though that's the first thing you would have on if you're on a construction site. I didn't hear a thing until I got home. And that's all over.
18:59🔗
Yeah.
19:01🔗
Yeah.
19:03🔗
Adam
True. By the way, I I I I punch back up 10 minutes ago. There's a going to talk about Michael Jackson. Oh, yeah. Hold on. Yeah. I don't know about that. What's going on? Well, let's talk about after we take the call. Awesome radio. Becca.
19:15🔗
Yeah.
19:19🔗
Um, well, number one. OK, my boyfriend is a virgin and he's almost 22. And what made me call is because Dr. Drew is talking to whoever is on before Loveline about how Rivers from Weezer is celibate and didn't have sex for two years and how, like, he has wet, he'd have wet dreams and stuff. And so it reminded me of my boyfriend who is really funny because, like, we will not be doing anything and he'll just come.
20:02🔗
Well, I mean, like, I'll be, like, we'll be cuddling or something. I mean, it's not like he just standing there and all of a sudden, like, shoots out. But, um, yeah.
20:15🔗
Well, I'm planning on marrying him. Like, we're in love and everything, whatever. But I'm just wondering if that, like, you know, every time we have sex and we're married, it's going to be like he goes in, shoots it out and then it's done. And I don't even get anything out of it.
20:43🔗
Um, not we haven't really done anything like one time in the heat.
20:51🔗
Adam
And how do you know you're going to get married? I mean, you haven't even seen his ding-a-ling.
20:55🔗
I am Mormon, so we don't do that before we get married. And so I'm I've had sex before and he knows that I've had sex before.
21:04🔗
But yeah, we're both Mormon. And so we're not going to hold on.
21:08🔗
Adam
I like that's like, I'm Mormon and I don't do that kind of thing. Now, I've had sex before. He knows I've gotten it on with, you know, 12 guys, 12 guys. So, you know, I'm sure I've pulled the train. Sure, I've done, you know, double DPs, but he knows I'm Mormon and I don't do that sort of thing. It must be nice to be religious, by the way. Just get to make the proclamation like every 20 minutes.
21:36🔗
Adam
Yeah, I'm Catholic and so, you know, killing a man wasn't exactly a first priority, but I did it. I'm Catholic. And I don't do that thing anymore because I'm Catholic.
21:48🔗
Adam
Yeah, I've cleansed myself. Yeah, I'm Mormon. I don't do that kind of thing with him. I did that kind of thing with other guys. Yeah, awesome. No, that must make him feel great.
21:58🔗
No, no. What happened was I didn't go to church for a long time and so that's when I had sex, but I started going back to church and it's been years since I have.
22:17🔗
Exactly.
22:24🔗
Drew
All right, you guys will kind of work this out. There is a punchy Mormon. There is a medication coming that will prolong a guy.
22:32🔗
Drew
Well, this is just coming in about a year. That'll be pretty effective, though it only kind of doubles or triples the time. And if he is shooting off before he gets his drawers down.
22:45🔗
That's my only worry is that when we finally get to the point where we're married and on our honeymoon night and I come out and I'm naked and he goes off without even doing me.
23:01🔗
Adam
Why don't you see how much weight you can pack on between now and the honeymoon? Slow him down just a little bit. All right, there's a goal.
23:10🔗
Adam
All right, baby doll, you'll be fine. When are you getting married? When are you getting married?
23:15🔗
We are not officially engaged, but we're thinking March, so. A year.
23:21🔗
That's the plan.
23:26🔗
Yeah, March.
23:27🔗
Adam
OK. And see, look, here's one. I'll tell you one of my problems. She's 19. She's got to hurry up and get married because she wants to have sex with this guy because she's in love with him.
23:38🔗
Adam
I know. It's the way it used to be. It forces people to get married at 19 and eight months.
23:44🔗
Adam
They're dying to have sex. First off, who the hell knows what this guy is like? Who knows what their compatibility is like? I'm not really into that thing where you have to, you know, look, I don't think you've got to boink your old lady before you marry her. I would say you have to boink 20 other old ladies and then marry one that you haven't boinked. Am I right, Drew? Sad to say. But you know what I'm saying?
24:09🔗
Adam
As a guy, you're better off having a series of relationships, some long, some short, a couple of one night stands, just a whole sort of... You know that mixed cereal box, Drew? The little cereal boxes, the variety packs?
24:25🔗
Adam
And Special K, ironically, that's the fat chick. That's the one you don't really want. But you still, you've had it. You know what I mean? What are you going to do? You ate the sugar smacks, fruit loops are gone.
24:43🔗
Adam
The product 19. Time to bust out the product 19. All the sugar in the world, all the bananas in Cuba, ain't going to make it taste like anything other. Product 19, which still, you got to get into it. Point is, we've all had our product 19.
25:06🔗
Adam
Yeah, different biology. Women got a little, women have some of that too though. Women, you know, actually, no, it's bad when women have sex before they get married because they hold it against the new guy. The other guys, guys don't do that.
25:22🔗
Adam
See, chicks would be like, oh man, I had a boyfriend in college. He was, he was hung like a thermos. This guy, or he used to go down on me for days. This guy, or he never, this guy, this guy go all night, you know. They get, you know, we hear it every night, right? They're going like, I got a new guy, and we've been married for two years, and this guy, this guy, this guy busts a nut in two minutes, and I used to, my old boyfriend used to go at it all night, or you know what I'm talking about? Guys don't really do that. Guys just have the, I miss the variety. I miss being out there.
25:56🔗
Adam
Yeah, we stopped here and got married because we liked what we saw or felt or tasted or whatever. But we don't, we missed the moving around part. They will actually hold stuff, even emotional stuff. The guy was sweet as sugar. He used to take, I used to make, you know, make me picnic baskets and all that kind of crap. He sung, you know, you know what I'm talking about? So that's why they shouldn't.
26:19🔗
Adam
Yeah. Where was I, Drew? Yeah. Yeah. Variety pack. Go through life. Do that as a guy and then just find someone you're into emotionally and get married. Good enough. I'll buy that.
26:30🔗
Okay.
26:35🔗
Oh.
26:39🔗
Caller
I had a question about the difference between epidermitis and testicular cancer, like the feel of it.
26:48🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, I mean, I want to know if there is like a definite difference so you can tell by yourself.
27:04🔗
Caller
Well, they said that it was probably epidermitis. I mean, they said it definitely wasn't cancer.
27:15🔗
But I mean, like in the future, like if...
27:29🔗
Adam
Well, yeah, that's what I'm asking. What I'm just trying to tell you is... I don't know the feeling and sort of difference between...
27:35🔗
Drew
Is that the cancer will feel like a rock, like a pebble. And the epithetomitis, you really almost doesn't feel like any, just the thickening of the spermatic cord. You can't even find...
27:48🔗
Drew
No. You wouldn't be able to tell if it's thickened or... Because you have to feel lots of them. If you went around and felt all your friends' junk, then you'd be able to do it.
28:09🔗
Adam
I measure volume, passing through it, and measure PSI, and I measure the width and circumference of it.
28:25🔗
Drew
But you feel something grow in your testes, you should have somebody else, a doctor, check it out.
28:29🔗
Caller
Okay. And also I want to mention that passenger injuries from airplane turbulence have declined this year.
28:42🔗
Adam
All right. Thank you. Yeah. Down what? From zero to nothing? Drew, he's just getting mad. He's just getting on me because my, we sit here every night. We have to listen to these public service announcements that really don't seem to address any of the problems that we're currently having in today's society. I get fired up.
29:09🔗
Yes, hi.
29:12🔗
I'm 24. I'm dating a guy who's 36 and he is a little bit too much for me. I climaxed in the first, I would say like five to seven minutes, and then I get bored so I need to rest and stuff, and he just keeps going because it takes him a real long time to finish. So I was wondering if there is any like psychological...
29:44🔗
Drew
Now, the question is, does he have any way to control this or make it shorter? And he would not be inclined to do that unless you tell him.
29:55🔗
Adam
But he might be inclined to do it without being told. I mean, if he knows. How long have you guys been going out?
30:04🔗
Like for about six months now.
30:07🔗
And it's it's it seems to stay consistent. It doesn't really.
30:13🔗
Up to like 25 minutes.
30:15🔗
And it's like it's really wearing me out. It's not something that.
30:22🔗
He's thinking that I like I'm supposed to enjoy it.
30:36🔗
Yeah.
30:49🔗
Drew
And there may be ways he can sort of bring himself closer before even starts the intercourse and ask him of their way.
30:57🔗
And he and oral sex with him, it's not. I mean, it doesn't work at all.
31:05🔗
Adam
Here, if I ever heard someone talking about me and just sort of did this like and oral sex with Adam is just well, he's not. I well, he what he doesn't eat it. I've just I mean, I would kill myself about the fourth stay.
31:23🔗
Adam
I would just fall fall on a on a ballpoint pantomime if I ever heard that Adam with the oral sex. Yeah, he's well, he just he he doesn't he doesn't understand. I yeah, that's just it's it's so bad. Yeah, I knew it was bad by your third stammer.
31:48🔗
No, I think he's technique is perfect.
31:53🔗
I don't know.
31:58🔗
It's just I mean, he's doing everything right. I mean, I'm able to climax and I'm happy, but with oral sex.
32:05🔗
Yes.
32:11🔗
No, I mean, my problem with myself performing oral sex with him is that he doesn't climax from it at all.
32:20🔗
Yeah.
32:22🔗
Right. Because I'm enjoying it. I would like him to be happy. All right.
32:32🔗
Um, uncut.
32:38🔗
I don't think so.
32:42🔗
Uh, being married twice.
32:56🔗
I, I guess it's just me making wrong choices, or...
33:03🔗
He's been married twice. No, I'm not getting married any time soon.
33:05🔗
Adam
I know, but I said, what's the story about, you know, being married twice at age 36? And you said, it's just me making bad choices.
33:12🔗
It's he making bad choices.
33:21🔗
Drew
You better find out more about that. I really get some detail. I don't believe the sort of BS brush that he gives you. There's something, something's up with that. Yes, bad choices, horrible choices. What, what the hell? And don't be surprised. And he has a big role to play in this, in the failures of his marriage.
33:35🔗
Adam
And by the way, he's 36. He's been with her for six months. I mean, he could have had two failed marriages under his belt by 33.
34:18🔗
Adam
In real high school, you don't get to do that. There's no 10th grader going out with a senior.
34:26🔗
Adam
There's no commingling. It's like it doesn't exist. You don't have the same classes, for the most part. And it's like, no, what do you, hi, I'm not talking to you. It's weird. I heard about this in 16 and eh. And then small school popped in my head. That's second room. Awesome. I gotta go to, I gotta get back to a small school. All right. Let's take ourselves a break. We'll come back with David. She's going off to college. She wants to know what to do with her. We'll answer his questions after this.
35:30🔗
Adam
Yeah! Yeah! That's what I'm saying. Talking about getting it on, you know what I'm saying?
36:27🔗
Adam
You should have sick shirts. You know, it's like a changeable Kleenex pad. If you're right-handed, we put it on your right shoulder. If you're left-handed, we put it on your left shoulder. A little mentholatum bomb under the collar. Like an old pitcher put a little Vaseline under the bill of his cap. You know, there's a shirt you wear when you're sick. And people know you're sick. Oh, stay away from Drew, he's wearing a sick shirt, everybody.
37:09🔗
Yes.
37:30🔗
Adam
Oh, you know, you know why? It's a horrible location for a high school. Let me tell you, the only salvation. You guys are directly across the street from Dr. Hoggly-Woggly's Tyler, Texas barbecue.
37:59🔗
Adam
Please arrange a field trip to that Dr. Hoggly-Woggly's and do yourself in your belly a favor.
38:19🔗
Adam
No, it doesn't have that smell. A lot of fat waitresses, a lot of fat guys staring in the window before it opens in the world's greatest barbecue.
38:44🔗
Yeah. All right.
38:50🔗
Van Nuys.
38:51🔗
Adam
Van Nuys. It's on Sepulveda. I know where it is. Every time I leave Hogley-Wongley's, I walk out and I see Montclair Prep and I think, you little pukes. You don't know what life really is. Then I get in my beautiful car and drive up to the hills. Yeah, go ahead.
39:18🔗
Guest
It's just I hear totally different things. Like my dad's like, don't do it because college parties, she meets other guys.
39:39🔗
Guest
Well, like we talked about it before and she's like, well, we don't like to think about like not really getting like a real relationship right now because it's just hard basically because what I'm talking about.
40:00🔗
All right.
40:01🔗
Adam
Sorry, buddy. You want to make love. Go make love to that brisket platter across the street over Dr. Hogley Walsh. Makes me angry, Drew.
40:14🔗
Adam
And I've met guys and they're like, yeah, I'm out on Spolvin and Roscoe. And I'm like, oh, fantastic. I mean, horrible. It's like living in Beirut, but you're right next to Dr. Hogley. Why? I haven't tried that place. You know how I get angry about nothing?
40:31🔗
Adam
I'm exceptionally indignant about this one. You are you kidding? I mean, Jimmy made the pilgrimage over there a couple of weeks ago. Oh, in person. Eight in the joint. Nice. Nice. Old school. Keeping it real true. Paige.
40:47🔗
Yeah.
40:52🔗
Caller
Um, not much. Um, I recently went to a party and, um, someone spiked the punch and I hooked up with my boyfriend. And then I had to go.
41:06🔗
No.
41:10🔗
Drew
No, come on. That's ridiculous. You can't taste alcohol? You didn't know you were getting intoxicated?
41:17🔗
Adam
Well, hold on a second. Let me, let me just say this in her defense. If you took some really sweet, syrupy, sappy, crappy punch, you know, where you float the big Sherbert Island in the middle of it, and you took something like Everclear that just had a very high alcohol content, but was clear and didn't have, you know, and you went light with it.
41:38🔗
Drew
I can imagine you couldn't taste it, but you wouldn't notice you were getting intoxicated?
41:57🔗
Caller
Okay, well I hooked up with my boyfriend that night, and then I hooked up with my best friend's boyfriend, and-
42:24🔗
Caller
Okay, well I hooked up with him, and he's starting to like me now, but I don't like him, and I haven't told his girlfriend, and she's like my best friend, and she likes him a lot, and I don't know if I should tell her because I don't want to break her heart, and I don't want her to like hate me forever.
42:41🔗
Adam
Well, you must care so much about her, but you're just going to have to tell her, even though you don't like this guy.
42:48🔗
Adam
You should make sure and tell her you made out with him, and that you don't like him too, and that you're willing to let her have the guy you've basically rejected. You didn't deem good enough for you, but you've used up.
43:16🔗
Drew
I have a real thing about guilt. Guilt actually bothers me a little bit. It's like, hey, okay, feel guilty, and then stop doing that ass.
43:58🔗
Adam
Bakersfield? There's places of employment in Bakersfield, and there are people going on vacations?
44:31🔗
Drew
Why would they drive to Los Angeles and then take a plane to Los Angeles? Oh, who knows?
44:35🔗
Adam
People have kooky vacation plans. All right, Paige, how's this woman who's looking after you from work?
44:49🔗
Adam
Oh, okay. I see. All right, Paige, do not tell that... I know you need a little drama. You want to mix it up a little bit. Don't tell your friend you made up the boyfriend.
45:04🔗
Adam
Look, if you were really into the guy and you thought you were in love with the guy, then we could talk. But you ain't into the guy. So don't bother stirring things up, all right? Okay. All right, she's going to tell the guy. Thank you. Tell the guy tomorrow.
45:23🔗
Drew
Hey, Justin, before you carry on one second, we have an iTunes giveaway for the first 10 callers that get on the air tonight. They get an iTunes, first 10 callers, 18 are over, get an iTunes gift card valued at $99. Must be 18 to play, obviously.
45:41🔗
Drew
I don't know. And then I need help, again, from Loveline Callers at discoveryhealth.com. Check out the forums and shows you'd like to see under the thread for forums. I'll read those tonight if you guys get on there and just pile some stuff in.
45:58🔗
Adam
Makes me miserable. So write something nice, otherwise he'll get pouty all night. Go ahead, Justin.
46:03🔗
Guest
All right. My question was, is that, I was, I guess you could say making whoopee on last Thursday night with my wife. We've been together for six years, been married for about a year and a half. And she just said to me, like, out of the blue while we're having whoopee, that she wants to threesome with another girl. And this is the thing though, this is the kicker, is that we're churchgoing people, like her dad's a pastor.
46:38🔗
Adam
I know. But most of the guys on Death Row are deeply religious people. You got to look at it that way too. It's not like, oh, he's a religious person, never stepped out of line, never killed anyone, never started a war, never cheat on the wife. I never heard about it. Unheard of, Drew.
46:58🔗
Adam
Yeah. What a utopia, by the way, we would be living in if all you religious nut jobs would just sort of stick to your crap a little bit and actually do what you claimed you believed when maybe you don't actually believe it. Here's the thing.
47:11🔗
Drew
How about you just stick to that crap even without religion? Everybody stick to some good law.
47:14🔗
Adam
Here's the thing about religion, which is awesome. It's like, you mean you don't agree with turn the other cheek and you don't agree with do unto your neighbors you would have done it and you don't agree with that. No, I agree with all of it. You idiots don't listen to it. If you guys would just listen to your own crap, it'd be awesome. They act like that's just a given. Oh yeah, thou shalt not murder. Oh, all right. Well, good. Now, I'll check that off the list. Now, we're going to happen again. No religious persons are going to do anything to anybody.
47:47🔗
Guest
She does. I mean, we haven't talked about it. I mean, I'm really like, I'm okay with it.
47:59🔗
Guest
No, no, no. This is the thing is that like, our sex life is actually gradually getting better. So Saturday night, while we're watching porn, she was like, she was like, yeah, she'd be hot. And then I'm like, so you really want to do it. And she was like, yeah, of course. She was like, but it can't just be, it just can't be any random girl. I'd have to pick the girl. And she was like giving me like, it couldn't be a black girl. It couldn't be a white blonde girl. It had to be like a specific type. And I'm like, oh, well, okay. And I'm like, well, where do we find these people? You know, but that's neither here nor there.
48:35🔗
Adam
I just, I was just wondering like, how, like I look at the Bible says, seek and you shall find my child. Yeah.
48:41🔗
Guest
And well, this is the thing is that I rather, I think it's like either going to go two ways. She either is going to dig it and we're going to have like a great sex life, you know, great upcoming sex life. And everything's going to be great, but yeah. The other part is that she's just our relationship is going to go south and we'll just tell you where it goes.
49:10🔗
Adam
Justin, I'm crying bogus on this. Something's wrong with this. You are. Yeah. Now, now deeply bogus. Sorry, buddy. Decent try.
49:21🔗
Drew
Let's try it anyway. But if, if indeed you were contemplating something like that, you had kids, it's forget it.
49:26🔗
Adam
You know, here's what's out when you have kids, threesomes, sports cars and tight pants. No kid wants to see dad or mom in tight pants, you know?
49:54🔗
Adam
Me too. I will take a quick break. Had sex with best friend, 14 year old sister. Well, at least he's 14. All that after this. Loveline.
50:08🔗
We'll be right back.
50:29🔗
Drew
That's right. And I was admonished by producer Anne for my lack of enthusiasm and professionalism.
50:36🔗
Drew
Right. iTunes giveaway. First 10 callers to get on the air tonight will win an iTunes gift card valued at $99. 18 years and older will win first 10 callers.
50:50🔗
Do I win?
50:58🔗
Adam
Right. Which means you either get 99 songs or In a God of Devita by Iron Butterfly Twice.
51:14🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well done. That's an easy one. All right, buddy. Drew and I just got back from the bathroom where he actually used the urinal because he, you know.
51:25🔗
Adam
Early bird catches the worm. Yeah, I had to go whiz in his bathroom, my stall in his stall, noticing the toilet seat that's cracked in half from when I kicked it a year ago. It's still busted in half because there's one of these stupid things where you put the toilet seat up and you start taking a whiz. And then about eight good eight count in your whiz. It slowly slammed shut and slams your whiz on your on your shins. So one night I just had an asshole that actually kicked it and snapped it in half.
51:52🔗
Drew
It's funny is that they're in the Dodger game. Jimmy's made some comments. Somebody said something about you getting sort of aggressive and violent. Jimmy goes, that's weird. Adam never ever gets aggressive or violent about anything. I'm flashing onto you, jumping onto the console and kicking the climate control thing off the wall, thinking of you breaking the toilet with your fists. No, no, never Jimmy, never. I've never seen him get aggressive.
52:18🔗
Adam
Until I reach my, my breaking point with junk in radio stations. Radio stations are just crap. They're all like old Soviet submarines where nothing works and no one will fix anything and everything sucks and everyone's cheap. And what happened with the thermostat is, is our old studio was 70 degrees. No, make it 80 degrees, 80 degrees at all times. And sweat would just be pouring down my face. And for eight years I was begging someone to fix it. And they just never would. And then finally they did it. And it was 80 degrees in there one day. And I went to go change the thermostat in the head, one of those stupid sneeze guards from the salad guard, salad bar around the thing. Like it was locked up. Like they didn't want people monkeying with the temperature of the thing. So I just got up on the console and I leaped up on the console and I took my UGG boot and I kicked the thing off it so we could adjust it. Unfortunately, the entire apparatus came off with the thermostat as well.
53:26🔗
Drew
But if you recall, the follow up of that was them watching the footage of you doing that on the security cameras. And then you call in those guys to get them to install your Zephyr.
53:35🔗
Adam
Listen, Westwood 1 was a steaming pile of crap that I wouldn't... I would not... I wouldn't... I would not want to roach to work in that ass pile. And we sat there for like seven years. Thank you. All right, Drew, what's going on?
53:52🔗
Adam
Oh, here's the other thing too. So Drew and I just got back from the bathroom and then back from the kitchen. What's the microwave smell like, Drew?
54:06🔗
Adam
Somebody cooked some enchiladas in there five days ago. And now when I'm drinking, it tastes a little like coffee, but it's more just like someone put enchilada in a Cuisinart and then put that into a microwave and now it's a caffarito.
54:22🔗
Adam
Would you like a warm up on your Caffe-lado? It's awesome. You want some sweet and lower? How about some sour cream with that?
54:36🔗
Adam
On the Caff-arito? Yes, it's like I'm I'm blowing a burrito right now and I realize what is it about microwaves that hold in the smell?
55:00🔗
Adam
Okay, because unless someone is sneaking in there and making enchiladas right now, that could be the other thing, Drew.
55:08🔗
Adam
Somebody could be cooking up a batch of enchiladas every single time we're on the air and then every time during the commercial.
55:16🔗
Adam
Chris, quick, go make sure nobody's in there making enchiladas. You see a guy with a sombrero napping against a cactus? I want you to come back here pronto.
55:58🔗
Drew
Saying S on the radio is excommunication. And by the way, it's also a marker for a bogus call about being worried about how the religious community looks at you and you let the S-bomb go in the air.
56:50🔗
Hello?
56:53🔗
Janelle, it's Janelle.
56:55🔗
What's up?
56:57🔗
Hi.
56:59🔗
Hi, okay, I have a question about anal sex. My boyfriend wants to do it and we've tried a couple of times. I've never had before and it really hurts really bad and I was wondering if there's any easier way for it to do it because he like wants to do it and I like kind of want to make him happy, you know?
57:25🔗
I've tried to with him a couple of times but every time we try it hurts really bad.
57:28🔗
Drew
Janelle, please stop. You know, I did an interview for Cosmopolitan a couple weeks or about a week ago and I was sort of listing all the potential injuries from anal sex and when you really, when I sit down on the floor, yeah, for them, they never actually talked to a doctor about these problems and when you add in the rectal prolapse and the tears and the fissures and the, you know, the fistulas and abscess, I mean, it is tremendous what you can do to yourself. Now, if it didn't hurt, you felt good, you wanted to, whatever, but this is something that's hurt, your body's telling you something. Don't do this. Don't harm yourself to make him happy and by the way, making him happy just means he's checking something off his list.
58:03🔗
Adam
But Drew, you're like a vegan who doesn't actually like the taste of meat, so it's easy for you to say, you understand what it does to the environment and farmlanding.
58:14🔗
Adam
If you're really into anal, you'd give us a whole laundry list of reasons why we should be doing it. It's part of good anal maintenance to be plunged out of it. You know what I'm saying?
58:52🔗
Adam
A-hole. AAA-hole. All right, Cafferita, we'll take ourselves a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah, my brothers. What's up, my homies? It's the Ace Man. My partner over there, Dr. True, fund over $1,800, VE19. Wonder, Drew, any iTunes news?
59:58🔗
Drew
iTunes Giveaways, first 10 callers tonight, they get on the air, who are 18 years or older, will get an iTunes gift certificate, gift card valued at $99.
1:00:39🔗
Adam
I know. I remember hearing the ice cream truck and had my dad shoot me one of those, I don't even think about it. Looks like, are you, what are we, the Rockefellers? Are you kidding me? You got a bomb pop like two months ago. Are you high? I just think like the ice cream truck was a big deal. Drew, you gotta train your kids. Oh, wait a minute. Who am I talking to? Janelle?
1:01:04🔗
Yeah.
1:01:10🔗
No, this is a different one.
1:01:20🔗
Adam
I don't even really remember speaking to any in a few months. Chris, you remember any Janelle's?
1:01:49🔗
So I have jury duty.
1:01:54🔗
But if you're a student, you don't have to go to jury duty, Chris.
1:01:56🔗
Come on.
1:01:58🔗
Adam
Junior college, though, they may have to make exceptions for junior college. Hold on a second.
1:02:08🔗
Drew
I was surprised. I think you were. Yeah. However, I had a strangely positive feeling about it for multiple reasons. It was weird.
1:02:16🔗
Adam
Yeah. I feel like Michael Jackson is just sort of a injured soul, a sick guy, a sick guy with horrible boundaries. Sort of needs to be reined in. I don't know. Let him use his money to help the children.
1:02:30🔗
Drew
Right. Right. However he says it. Then I like the idea that the reason that they sort of went not guilty on everything is, they're sick and tired of people that sue and manipulate and use the system. It's like, well, it has nothing to do with you anymore. It's your law of only two suits in a lifetime. More than that, we don't believe you anymore. Right?
1:02:50🔗
Adam
Look, I could, I would overhaul the judicial system in a heartbeat when I'm in charge. And the first thing I'm getting to work on is the lie detector. Now listen to me. Do you see these jurors when they, when they interview them after the thing?
1:03:22🔗
Drew
There was one Asian woman and a bunch of blue haired white ladies and a couple older guys.
1:03:29🔗
Adam
I saw what, but I looked into the, you know, you know when you look into the eye of evil and you know what, I looked in the eye, when I look in the eye of stupid, I know it. A lot of dumb on that jury.
1:03:59🔗
Adam
It was nice. I see what you're saying. I see where you're going. Here's my point. Let's get the lie detector test working. Let's also work on my tech crows. Here's the deal, everyone. The lie detector, polygraph test, has been around for, what, 50 years now?
1:04:17🔗
Adam
Okay. Had some bugs. Worked it out pretty well. It's probably, I don't know, 90% accurate now, right? Not better than the current jury system that we have?
1:04:34🔗
Adam
What? People are like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. How do you know that this device is not, it's got to be 100%. It does? Where's OJ right now? Where's Michael Jackson right now? Where's Robert Blake right now? What about all the brothers that had to be let off a death row in Illinois a few years ago? Because I found out like half of them just shouldn't be on death row. What do you mean? First off, don't give me that 100% crap.
1:05:07🔗
Adam
Who knows where we're at? Do you know what I mean? We have this theory that like, look, it doesn't matter whether OJ actually killed his wife and Ron Perlman or not. It matters that the system works, that he gets a fair.
1:05:22🔗
Adam
No, no, no, no, no. We've lost sight of the whole thing. They're only there to figure out whether the guy did it or not. That's it. That's all we need to know. If we could find out in the first 10 minutes of the first day of the trial, good, we're done. Everyone go home. We don't need the process. The process is figure out whether Michael Jackson diddle that little Mexican kid and figure out whether OJ cut the head off of his ex-old lady. That's all we need to figure out. And this lie detector, and here's what I'm saying. We're a few years away. Drew, I'm standing up for this. I'm so passionate about this. Here's all I'm saying. What does this cost us? What do these huge trials cost us? Almost $4 million. $4 million. $4 million we could have put into research of this in testing of my lie detector. Now here's what we do. We don't just do it in this country. We get the entire world to get in on this one. Hate to say it, we may have to call in the Germans. Mexico, you guys chill. Finish this up, we'll get back. But don't worry, you'll get one too. We just gotta, you know, we're cool. We're okay. You just say it. We have to get the Germans in here, we have to get some Swedes in here, to get some, we get some Japanese in here. For sure. We gotta get everybody in on this one. The world, the greatest scientists of the world, they get together on this one. The stuff we've learned about brain activity in the last five years is more than we knew in the 500 years before that. Yes, Drew?
1:06:51🔗
Adam
Okay. Now, we don't say we're going to finish this in eight months or even 18 months. Five years from now, everybody gets together, the world's scientists. Mexico, chill. We'll give you one. Just hold on. Let's finish. We get everyone together and we all work, and we start testing, and we research, and we do it. And now, we have a machine that's been tested with millions of people, all different cultures, different countries, sexes, everything, and it's 98.65 percent accurate. Good. Now, first off, we could get there. We could do that. And what are we now? I mean, everyone knows Michael Jackson proudly did a little diddling, and everyone knows Robert Blake proudly did a little of this, and OJ did a little of that. And those are just the ones we know about. Plus, what about the innocent guys? You know, we harp on the guilty guys, worse. Have the poor guy who's third strike, wrong place, wrong time, brother man, can't catch a break, you know, three-time loser, and he gets some court-appointed guy who ain't so enthusiastic about defending him. What about him? You know what I mean? I mean, everyone's thing is like, well, you can't have this piece of technology, innocent people would be railroaded. What about innocent people not going to the joint because they take this thing?
1:08:12🔗
Adam
It's, and it becomes like the breathalyzer. You get pulled, and by the way, the breathalyzer, unrefutable, there's no, breathalyzer everyone's fine with, right?
1:08:24🔗
Adam
You get pulled over, cop thinks you're drunk, blow into that breathalyzer. No, I won't do it. Oh, get in the car. You're guilty.
1:08:32🔗
Adam
Why? You wouldn't blow into it. Guy who, guy who never had a drink that night would blow into it. Guy who didn't kill his wife would take this. So here's the deal. First day, boom. And we just do everybody. Here's the 10 guys we think killed Nicole Brown. OJ., you're one of them. But then we got it. We got her. We got this guy. You know, we got Cato is going to do this. And the gardener's coming too. And the guy drove the limo. And then she's got a couple of guys she was dating. They're coming in too. Everyone's coming in. We'll just test everyone. All right. Then if you're guilty and it's a capital murder type, capital offense type thing, then then we can slow down the process and start talking about, you know, putting the fine touch, finer, finer points on it. I don't say you go right to the gallows that afternoon, but the point is, is no more juries, no more stenographers, no more anything. And by the way, you know, many juries have been bought off by like the mob and the mafia over the years and just, just people bought off and just, and now they just buy it off by just having enough money. I mean, you got, you got Marcia Clark and Chris Darden up against, you know, five of the smartest people on the planet who are getting paid millions of dollars. They're not going to win. They don't have the resources. They don't, they, and if they were any good, they wouldn't be, you know, working down at LA County, right? So it's already an unfair fight. You already can buy your way out. And here's the thing about my lie detector. It does not see color. It does not see religion. It doesn't see sex and it doesn't see bank accounts. It doesn't see anything. It's just a mechanical device. Couldn't be more objective and you're hooked to it and there's witnesses and it's plugged in and that's it. And everyone's like, you think this is better? Yeah, it's better. Think about how flawed the system is and think about how expensive it is. Oh, we got the judges and the court appointed this and the bailiffs and the stenographers. It's all done. It's all done that afternoon. Pow! Not millions of bucks. Gone. But pow! And the amount of money we spent on, you know, OJ., Robert Blake and Michael Jackson could have built three schools.
1:10:39🔗
Yeah.
1:10:41🔗
Adam
It's a device, size of a suitcase. People get trained to administer it and that's it. And it's for everything. It's for everything, Drew. Same one use, murders use on petty theft. Yes?
1:11:06🔗
Adam
Well, went on at the bachelor party. Oh, you know, it's your penitentiary. Yeah, we don't need that. So lie detector. Hey, find out, Chris, find out, find out how accurate the polygraph test is now anyway.
1:11:29🔗
Adam
And as the society were satisfied. Are you sad? But, you know, because with Michael Jackson, are you satisfied? Oh, well, I guess this means he never touched anyone.
1:11:41🔗
Drew
I just like the message goes out to people that sue. We're not listening anymore. I love it.
1:11:45🔗
Adam
I love the message that says, listen, chick, listen, nutball. You try to sue a casino, you try to sue a bunch of other celebrities, you try to sue everyone, and now no one believes you. Good. That's the way it should be. There should be a limit on the amount of suing you do. And that's that. And then, then actually, if it actually did happen, something actually happened, I'm actually glad you can't sue because all the other false lawsuits brought up before this. Fine. I love you people to get punished. I wish you'd just die, really be a better world. But the point is, is let's get this device in because there's no satisfaction. Do you have satisfaction with Robert Blake? Do you have satisfaction with OJ? Do you have satisfaction with Michael Jackson? Do you feel like you know?
1:12:26🔗
No.
1:12:35🔗
Adam
You do, but you still feel like the guy's probably done something in his life and he's going home.
1:12:45🔗
Adam
Yeah. I don't know what he's learned. What do you learned about keeping your hands off women?
1:13:17🔗
Yeah. Well, basically.
1:13:28🔗
I've been with my boyfriend for a long time and everything is actual is fine. Except more recently, a couple of weeks ago, when I was performing oral sex with him, he.
1:13:47🔗
Adam
Let's review the tape. OK, yes, you were performing not not not well, but yes, you were performing. Looks like that's what you're attempting to do.
1:13:57🔗
Go ahead. Instead of semen, it came out pee. And he wanted me to swallow it just the same as I would if. It was, you know, the other stuff.
1:14:16🔗
I was just so shocked and I didn't, you know, I just kind of spit it out, but it happened again and the same thing happened.
1:14:28🔗
Yeah, a different evening.
1:14:34🔗
Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
1:14:37🔗
Well, it wasn't, you know, like gooey and white.
1:14:47🔗
Really?
1:14:48🔗
Because the same thing, I mean, it felt, I mean, to him, he said it felt the same as, as, you know, but I'd been with him for so long and it had never, it had always been the same way for, you know.
1:14:58🔗
Drew
No, guys, guys, he's been masturbating more lately, probably, and it gets very thin and very liquidy.
1:15:04🔗
Yeah.
1:15:05🔗
Drew
That's not urine. Yeah. That's not urine. Well, he said, he said, if I feel like I ejaculated, some fluid came out of it. That's not urine. It's almost impossible for a guy to urinate when he has an erection anyway.
1:15:22🔗
Okay.
1:15:26🔗
No, but.
1:15:27🔗
Drew
It's not urine, please. Recent research reveals that the accuracy of the new computerized polygraph system is close to one hundred percent.
1:15:37🔗
Adam
One hundred percent. And everyone is like, well, yeah, but what about that one percent? Well, yeah, but what about that forty five percent that we currently deal with? Do you know what I'm saying?
1:16:01🔗
Adam
Even seventy percent is a much better shake than most folks would get in court, pro or con.
1:16:10🔗
Adam
Yes. Drew, the point is, is we're about there. Let's just focus on it. We'll turn every courthouse into a tech school, trade tech.
1:16:20🔗
Drew
So they're they're they're sort of conservative estimates are eighty seven and a half percent. Their claim is close to one hundred percent and critics say seventy percent.
1:16:29🔗
Adam
But it's still all much higher than what we're currently dealing with. I think. What do you think the current system is?
1:16:37🔗
Drew
I will certainly people who are guilty aren't likely to get and think about it and think about bang for your buck.
1:16:50🔗
Adam
This is before we go to work on this thing. Five years from now, it's done. We test and test and test, Drew. You understand? What's so precious about our system? You know what I mean? Why is it the best system in the world? And everyone always does that thing where it's like, well, it's, you know, it's flawed. It's, you know, lots of time, things happen. It's the best, best one we got. But this one could be better. You know what this is like? This is like the NFL letting instant replay in. We have the technology. Let's use it. Yeah, but the official said he was out of bounds. Yeah, but don't you want to really know if he was out of bounds or not? Isn't it more satisfying?
1:17:41🔗
Adam, right on.
1:17:42🔗
Adam
Thank you. I don't know what people. What part of the population, besides those effing trial lawyer bastards, what part wouldn't be down with this?
1:17:54🔗
Adam
What part of those is that, you know, Governor Schwarzenegger said, look, we're going to use this thing. And we use the California. We're going to save twenty billion dollars a year. Here we go. Everyone just piled right on through. Traffic tickets to murder. It's all going on. Find out whether you did it or not. And then you'll just be judged accordingly. That'll be that. Yes. Don't. Is that the point? Don't we want the guilty to go away? And most certainly the innocent not to go away?
1:18:30🔗
Okay, Laurie.
1:18:32🔗
Adam
You know why? You know why? Because people say with the righteousness in their voice, they're like, look, I'm sure OJ killed his ex-wife, but they did not prove beyond a reason. Would you shut up with that stuff? Who are you talking to? We're just trying to decide whether he killed her or not. That's all. That's all everything is for. It's all the court was built for. We just decide and then we do some with him. Become some sort of sport, some sort of game. It's like, yeah, well, he deserves to walk because they didn't do a good enough job of convincing the jurors.
1:19:19🔗
Adam
This gets rid of everything. There's no race, there's no religion, there's no anything anymore with this thing. No one can cry foul because it's just a piece of metal. Go ahead, Lori.
1:19:30🔗
Caller
Okay. I've been on Plexa for three years for depression and anxiety, and it doesn't seem to be working. So today the doctor gave me something called Simbalta. And I was just curious, Dr. Drew, if you knew anything about this because I know it's a fairly new drug.
1:19:46🔗
Drew
Yeah. It's actually called dualoxetine. It's a dual agent antidepressant like Effexor or Venlafaxine, and it hits both the serotonin and the norepinephrine, or in the noradinergic system. And it's fairly effective, about the same as Effexor. It's very popular right now. They use it a lot with people who have headaches and pain and that sort of thing. I personally have not seen it to be more effective than Effexor, but it's not a bad medicine. Usual side effects, you know, sexual dysfunction, that kind of stuff. But stronger than what you've been on. So that's a reasonable move.
1:20:19🔗
Hello?
1:20:24🔗
Caller
Uh, it's kind of a long story. You have to hear the whole thing to really like understand it fully. Um, my mom and my dad got divorced when I was five years old. And, uh, I was never allowed to see my dad. And my mom never gave me a reasonable explanation why I couldn't see my dad. And my mom raised me in a very strict religious setting. And, uh, within, like, the past, I think, five, yeah, five months ago, I, uh, moved in with my dad. And, uh, we talked, like, just before I moved in with him. And I found out he was gay.
1:21:09🔗
Adam
Can't stop thinking about my lie detector. And then my tack crust. And my heated sofa.
1:21:18🔗
Adam
Why you, you're depressed because, and why didn't your dad try to get hold of you in all this time?
1:21:24🔗
Caller
Well, he did, it's just my mom kept me, like, uh, like, kept me away from him. Like, did everything she could so that I couldn't speak with him.
1:21:37🔗
Adam
Pinning it all on your mom. True. Could you imagine? Oh, yeah, no, you just go, you just head over to the house.
1:21:48🔗
Caller
Um, but my question is, uh, right now, like, I accept it because like I kind of have to, cause like I live with him. That's just how it goes. And I have to like, you know, but like, I don't know if I'm going to resent it when I, like resent him when I'm older, like.
1:22:04🔗
Caller
Well, not being gay, but just for like, putting me in a situation where I see him and his wife partner together and also like not telling me until.
1:22:14🔗
Drew
No, if you resent him at all, it's going to be for not having been in your life. I don't think this sexual preference is going to make a big difference. I really.
1:22:20🔗
Adam
But Andrew, little, little, depression, little depression, little therapy for that depression, baby, doll or something or something because something's going on.
1:22:35🔗
Adam
Firm regimen, building character. One loser at a time. All right. Ready to take a break?
1:22:48🔗
Loveline.
1:23:12🔗
Drew
And I think we've given away our iTunes for tonight, but for tomorrow night call again, the first 10 callers that get on the air with a question, not a bogus question, a real question, but when an iTunes gift card valued at $99. Those of you who are over 18.
1:23:30🔗
Adam
All you need is 99 songs. I got that iPod and then like I said, everyone does that thing where I'm like, well, I got the I got the iPod second generation and there are people like, oh yeah, but that only holds 2400 songs. I don't know 2400 songs.
1:23:50🔗
Adam
Drew, he's sitting here with, I don't know who was seriously looking me in the eye and just basically telling me that, you know, 1800 songs was not enough to get him, you know, down the street in his car. I don't remember that, but it's like, I was like, yeah, 1800 songs, that's plenty. Oh dude, no way. You'd be surprised. You know, they give that BS answer, you go, you think you listen, that you get tired of 1800? You'd be surprised. When people use, you'd be surprised, like I use, yeah, but still.
1:24:17🔗
Adam
Yeah. Oh no, you'd be surprised. Like, oh yeah, oh yeah, sure. No, I don't know, that's how it goes. You hop in your car, you drive down the corner to grab a quart of milk and you're burnt out on the 2300 songs. That's how it works.
1:24:43🔗
Caller
Well, I've been dating this chick for about three months now and sex has been good and all of a sudden, just this past Saturday, she asked me to, I hate to say it, it sounds weird, but poop on her.
1:25:07🔗
Caller
Because I was on top of her and doing the regular missionary position and she said, well, can you get on top of me and poop on me? And I was kind of like, what are you joking? And then I was kind of like, blew it off, kind of like a kind of thing like, yeah. And then she asked me, well, if you won't do that, can you pee on me?
1:25:37🔗
Caller
Yeah, that's not an issue. It's just, I don't know whether she's a sicko and I should run.
1:25:46🔗
Caller
Yeah, if I really, I mean, I guess, I mean, if I really wanted to, As you said, Adam, that's not exact science.
1:25:54🔗
Drew
A component of the nervous system that is not under complete volitional control there.
1:26:11🔗
Adam
But two, I'm not a circus monkey, I can't just produce, you know? I'm gonna need a little heads up. First off, you should be going through my assistant. That would be my thing. I'm gonna need a couple days' advance notice, I'm gonna have to vary my diet, I'm gonna have to work this out. You know what I mean?
1:26:35🔗
Adam
It'd be funny, like I'd try like eight times, and you'd just see her pass out, but you would wake up with a nice surprise on the comforter. It's like, what happened? About 4.30 in the morning, it came. I'm sorry, it was loose. Yeah. Loose stool. Bad times. Chris? Yeah. I'm halfway between believing you and not believing you.
1:27:00🔗
Drew
But might as well go with the believe. It's such a creative call, even if it's a bogus one.
1:27:18🔗
Caller
Well, she's a banker. She seemed like a good catch. She doesn't drink very much. She doesn't smoke at all. And she's kind of the girl you take home to mom. And that's what's so surprising to me and kind of threw me off. She wasn't the freak you find at the bar that's been with every guy.
1:27:36🔗
Caller
She's kind of like just a really normal person that you would just think, you know, the kind of like, as a guy, you're like, oh, this is a marrying type.
1:27:45🔗
Drew
Have you found anything else about her history? Is she abuse history or anything weird going on?
1:27:53🔗
Caller
I know that her mother has gone through, you know, a couple of different marriages and, you know, that's what she's seen her whole life.
1:28:18🔗
Adam
I think you need to talk to produce. I drew. What do you do if you're Chris? Are you into her? Do you think you may fall in love with her?
1:28:47🔗
Adam
.hinge to this. Here's the thing. If there's nothing bogus about this, if I was talking to Drew's son and he came up to me and told me this exact story, I would say...
1:29:01🔗
Adam
Wrap it up. Get out of there. Damage goods. Sorry. And he'd say, but I'm really in love. And I'd say, this, you're not going to be able to fix this one. It's too tall in order for you. It's all the king's horses and all the king's men.
1:29:17🔗
Drew
So we address this criticism up front. How dare you? These people just into these things. You're being so judgmental just because they're into some bizarre sexual activity doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them.
1:29:38🔗
Adam
No. It needs to be. It is like a single-hulled oil tanker that ran aground. It needs to be contained now. Get the nets out and contain this baby.
1:29:59🔗
Drew
If he were, for whatever reason, super motivated, you'd say, all right, go at it. Good luck. Enjoy. But if he's sort of, eh, eh, eh, now what if she said just the pee part? By the way, isn't that mostly the guys that want to be peed on?
1:30:15🔗
Adam
Once in a while, you'll nail a chick in the shower, you know, just for fun, when she turns her back to you. But that's just sport, though. That's sport. Yeah, you're just doing that. You're just doing that for sport. All right, Drew. Look, so we're saying walk away.
1:30:29🔗
Drew
I'm not, don't make any choices for it, but we're saying contain the spill. All right.
1:30:51🔗
Caller
Okay. Well, my question is, I've been dating a girl for about 10 months now, and I'm out in California for an internship. I'm actually living with her family for the summer. Her mom, I met a couple months into the relationship, and she's always like really flirty lady. Her mom's like late 40s, early 50s or so, and she's been really, really blatantly hitting on me lately, especially this last weekend when her girlfriend went out of town, I mean when my girlfriend went out of town and to go visit some friends in LA, and she was trying to get me to like cover with her on the couch while watching a movie, and I was like, why don't you sleep in my bed, because her husband was gone on a trip too. So it's just me and her, and it's all pretty weird. It makes me really uncomfortable. I love my girlfriend and stuff, but I still know if I should tell her that her mom is blatantly like hitting on me and...
1:31:48🔗
Drew
No, just get out of there. Very simple. Get out of the relationship or get out of that house?
1:32:22🔗
Caller
I mean, I'm an internship in the finance department, just accounting and that type of stuff.
1:32:37🔗
Adam
Well, he knows what he's doing. He just doesn't want to tell you because he doesn't want people listening.
1:32:44🔗
Adam
I mean, it's just like a gopher. Look, we would have interns at the man show. They didn't do anything. They just got coffee.
1:33:12🔗
Adam
Okay. Look, here's the deal. Hang out with your girlfriend. Don't hang out alone and drink wine coolers with mom. You're fine.
1:33:24🔗
Adam
Chick, you're in a threatened, vulnerable situation. As a guy, eh, yeah. Just don't get in that uncomfortable situation where you have to tell Mrs. Robinson to piss off.
1:33:35🔗
Drew
There are, this history is replete with stories of women though telling lies if guys don't respond kind of thing. Claiming things.
1:33:55🔗
Adam
I got this temporary crown on my tooth, you know, still that post in there. That's the other side. Oh, it's a disaster. My mouth's like someone put a grenade in my mouth. That's really what it's like. I got the temporary. So I got this temporary crown and the inside of it is like didn't do a very good job of sculpting it. And the inside of it has some sharp burrs on it and it sort of cut my tongue and like irritated my tongue. So that every time I eat, you know, I bite into a nectarine or something. The acid stings my tongue. You know, when your tongue, your taste buds get screwed up with it or whatever gets sensitive. I guess it smells like burrs inside my tongue. Inside. It's on the inside, naturally, where the tongue keeps scraping against it.
1:34:39🔗
Adam
I'm doing it tomorrow. I'm thinking about just doing it myself, actually, because like, I got tools to do it. But here's the thing. Yeah, miserable. So I had this horrible thought. I cursed myself. The chick who was doing it was like, basically like one of my mom's friends. I'm just lying there and I'm like-
1:34:58🔗
Adam
My mouth's open. No, but the dentist finish her work and then bring the chick in to do the thing. So I'm lying there and I'm like, she's mixing up the epoxy and getting the sculpting thing. I thought, first thought was, she's a pro. Next thought is, she's a chick. I thought to myself, she knows what she's doing. Then I thought to myself, you know any chicks who you trust working on your house, or working on your auto, you're like your car, like doing some detail work on your car or something like that.
1:35:26🔗
Adam
Yeah, they make. Then I thought, chicks make jewelry and stuff like that. That's intricate stuff. Then I thought, she reminds me of one of my mom's goofball friends. I'd rather have a guy who was like a carpenter. Like a machinist. I want some German guy who was bald, and salt and pepper on the side, thick glasses. You know what I mean? Anti-social type. Wearing a weird leather smock.
1:35:59🔗
Adam
I don't want to hear wacky sax playing while the guy's fixing my teeth. You know what song wacky sax is? All right. Anyway, point is, I'm just looking at her going, I'm running through all the stuff in my brain, and then she finishes, and I'm like, all right, it's fine. Then later on, I cut my tongue and I think, damn, my mom's friend. See? I'll call me old-fashioned. I like a dude with that stuff.
1:36:30🔗
Drew
I know, but I really was noticing that. You're like, a lot of the men in the Tasha history stuff.
1:36:34🔗
Adam
Maybe it's the constant pain of my tongue scraping against that burr on my tooth that has driven me, and I have this woman's, this woman's face just seared into my brain. I just remember thinking when the dentist left, where are you going, buddy? There's an old lady in here now. Yeah, I'm screwed. All right.
1:36:53🔗
Adam
Hope they're not listening, because I got to head in tomorrow. Take a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah, my brothers and sisters. What be happening? It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Yeah. What date is it today?
1:37:35🔗
Adam
Oh, okay. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Let's hop back to the phones and speak to Holly, who's 18. Holly?
1:38:10🔗
Caller
And he says it's going to increase our sexual pleasure. But I want to know if it's going to hurt me.
1:38:16🔗
Drew
It can. It can hurt. And I've yet to really talk to them. And that was genuinely enthusiastic about it. They like the idea of it, some women, but actually changing the sexual experience. I don't think there's such a person out there.
1:38:37🔗
Adam
Isn't this sort of training wheels for your penis? If you think about it, like, look, buddy, if you can't go into battle with just your sword, you know, if you got to bring a pistol into battle, where's the nobility in that? You know what I'm saying, Drew?
1:38:52🔗
Drew
And pistol is too useful a tool. It's more like you're wearing spurs but you're not riding a horse.
1:38:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, but I have a certain amount of pride. Like, look, if I can't get it done with my tongue, my hunker and my fist and my trusty strap on butt plug. No, if I cannot get it done with the hunker and the tongue, I will step aside and gladly lay my penis down and walk away defeated and shamed.
1:39:30🔗
Adam
Tongue honker. Yeah. Cafferita. Drew, this is what it's come to. It's bad. OK. Yeah. All right.
1:39:47🔗
Adam
All right. Look, I don't understand it. I don't trust it. I don't like it. I just I don't trust it. I don't trust this guy.
1:39:56🔗
Drew
It doesn't. I don't like that. It's not as though it's kind of a magical effect on your sex life. It really isn't.
1:40:03🔗
Adam
OK. How about you be 18 and just be horny? Can you do that? That's the best effect you can have. All right.
1:40:15🔗
Adam
Here's the thing. Here's the thing. It's like someone's saying I'm skydiving, but I'm bored. I'm going to start doing amyl poppers after I jump out of the plane. It's like, look, if you're having difficulty getting a rush from skydiving, you've got a problem, right? You don't need to do a line of coke while you're falling, plummeting toward Earth at one hundred and thirty miles an hour.
1:40:46🔗
Adam
Up the ante. Well, yes, to me, in a way, that's not digging it. Drew is a man of passion. Go back.
1:41:02🔗
Adam
Looking forward to sacks, there's nothing about improving it. Improving it was doing it more for you.
1:41:07🔗
Drew
So I think some of these kids are sort of thinking that they're going to sort of advertise more or attract a certain kind of person more, which they might. It's possible, I suppose, but you're not going to change the experience more.
1:41:17🔗
Adam
Maybe porn, the internet, and these horrible chick magazines have upped the ante to such a point where people feel like they're getting chipped. Drew, let me float this far in your way. I think these magazines, you know, it's like, I really feel like, I see my wife sitting around and she's reading these chick magazines and it's like, who's looking hot on the red carpet? And, oh, there she is. It's Brad Pitt and his new lady, and it's this Ewan McGregor and his new lady. Look how hot everyone, look at Angelina Jolie, and everyone looks flawless, and everyone looks amazing, and the flash bulbs are popping. And I think my wife sits there and stares at it and goes, what am I doing? Why am I not there? How come I'm not on that red carpet? Why am I not in that fabulous dress? And I think guys look at that magazine or any magazine, and they go, wow, look at that hot chick.
1:42:16🔗
Adam
Man, look at Brad Pitt. He's with her and he's with her, and I want to be with her. Why can't I be with her? I think it breeds a lot of envy. I think the first thing is envy.
1:42:29🔗
Adam
It ruins your life. Because you're sitting there and you're going, why am I not there? Why am I not with her? Why doesn't my old lady look like this old lady? Why doesn't my suit look like that suit? Why don't my abs look like his abs? Why doesn't my car look like his car? Why doesn't anything like anything? Then you start building these sort of fantasies and the media helps it. It's like, oh, then they go back to their palatial state when they're not there, they're hideaway in Hawaii. And you're like, oh, oh, oh, that's what I want. That's what I need.
1:42:59🔗
Drew
Also, by the way, it makes it probably dangerous to be in that position because people start thinking they're going to take them down because that's what envy is. Envy is a way to diminish the people are true.
1:43:08🔗
Adam
And then the guy kills himself six months later and you realize he never was happy. But here's the thing. We're exposed to so much of this stuff now.
1:43:19🔗
Adam
I mean, oh, you're 13 and you watch entertainment tonight. Your head's exploding. We're going to Monaco with Tom Cruise and what's your nose from Dawson's Creek? And, oh, they're just everyone's, oh, we're on a yacht.
1:43:34🔗
Adam
Right. OK, the point is, when they say they're going back to hard news, I mean, news is hard. We're going to do this fluff crap. I think that's what they mean. You didn't interpret it the right way. You're right. News too difficult. We're going to the fluff. Here's my point. I think everyone's getting caught up into this, and I think they're getting less and less satisfied with their life.
1:43:53🔗
Adam
And I think in my day and in your day, 18-year-old guy, 18-year-old chick getting it on, man couldn't do any better than that.
1:44:02🔗
Adam
Give me a van. We'll park it down by the lake, and I'm going to bone my girl all night long, and then nothing's going to get better than that. Now, got up the ante.
1:44:18🔗
Adam
You'll never look that good. You'll never have that good. You'll never feel that good.
1:44:32🔗
Adam
Or you go home and watch what I do, which is engineering disasters on modern marvels. You just watch suspension bridges plunging into the Potomac with cars filled filled with people in it. And you go, whoo, glad I ain't one of those cars. Then you go to bed and you feel better. Meanwhile, my wife opens the magazine and she's pissed at me. See, you see how that goes?
1:44:59🔗
Adam
I mean, turn on the history, turn on the history channel. Watch a B-17 filled with 19 year olds just go into the German countryside on fire and realize those kids never saw their 20th birthday. And then you'll look in the mirror and smile and go to bed. All right? All right. And you'll get with me on wanting to bomb Germany again. Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Well, that's the show, everyone. Thanks for listening. Bob Bergquist in here tomorrow night for the X Games. He is, I think he's the bicycle guy. He's done a few flips. So we'll take ourselves a extendo break. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo. Adam with the oral sex. Yeah, he's, um, well, he just, he doesn't, he doesn't understand.
1:46:34🔗
Adam
The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.
1:46:42🔗
Caller
The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.