Tuesday, December 21, 2004

0:57🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:02🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:04🔗 Voiceover Sexually oriented content.

1:08🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:09🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:14🔗 Voiceover This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everyone, it's the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Forget about that phone number. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Dixon Medicine Specialist. Oh, thank Christ we're not here.

1:32🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

1:32🔗 Adam All right. Let's get the show moving.

1:34🔗 Drew Love the show, though. Love it.

1:34🔗 Adam Love it.

1:35🔗 Drew Love it.

1:35🔗 Adam So dear, dear friend of the show, AFI., Tina Fey is going to be in tonight. Tim Meadows. Let's see.

1:41🔗 Drew Melinda Clarke from...

1:43🔗 Adam Would you shut up? Melinda Clarke from the OC is going to be here. Bam Majera and Ryan Dunn is going to be in here also. Oh, Drew, Seth MacFarlane is going to be in here.

1:51🔗 Drew So excited.

1:52🔗 Best Of All right.

1:52🔗 Adam So let's get started. This is AFI.

1:56🔗 Hey, everybody.

1:58🔗 Best Of It's Loveline.

1:59🔗 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Hunter and Davey in here from AFI. Good guys, good people, good band. Salt of the Earth.

2:12🔗 Best Of Thank you.

2:12🔗 Adam Salt of the Earth.

2:14🔗 Drew Fast forward four years. Who were the Perkman?

2:16🔗 Best Of I don't remember when those guys were in here.

2:18🔗 Drew AFI guys.

2:19🔗 Adam First off, all these A-hole bands that have been in here over the years are lucky that Drew and I can't remember any of them. I mean, there's thousands of them. We can only pull up a handful of lowlights.

2:29🔗 Best Of Give them a green light, huh?

2:30🔗 Adam Over the years. But Drew comes up with them. Oh, Blur. Yeah, those pricks.

2:38🔗 Best Of That's a bummer.

2:38🔗 Adam Thank God most of these guys have gone the way that Dodo.

2:42🔗 Best Of Blur has some good, good songs, though.

2:43🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Let's not confuse. You know, it's like athletes. You know what I mean? I mean, you can really appreciate what a lot of these guys do on the field. But in real life, some of them are drunken, horrible husbands. They don't talk to you. They don't talk to you. Ted Williams had a bunch of kids who didn't like him. He never talked to him and that kind of stuff. You know, that's what happens with the band. Drew, give me give us a little taste of some of the top.

3:09🔗 Drew Remember that Maxi Priest was the guy that freaked out.

3:11🔗 Adam Maxi Priest is the guy you weren't showing enough respect to.

3:14🔗 Drew So we got up and left.

3:16🔗 Adam Seems like I wasn't in, thank Christ, I was not in studio. I was out on remote doing it or something.

3:22🔗 Drew Oh wow.

3:23🔗 Adam And I couldn't figure out what happened. I remember.

3:24🔗 Drew We had the Pizzicato Five.

3:26🔗 Adam But Pizzicato Five was just-

3:28🔗 Drew They couldn't speak English.

3:28🔗 Adam They couldn't speak English.

3:29🔗 Drew Cardigans.

3:30🔗 Adam The Cardigans.

3:31🔗 Drew Top of the heap.

3:33🔗 Adam The Cardigans. I like them. They're a good band. I like the album they had. The Chicks are blonde. She looks so angelic. Ice Princess. Really? Pricks. All of them. Go ahead, Drew. Who else you got on there?

3:46🔗 Drew You had violet Femmes.

3:47🔗 Adam violet Femmes. Here's the thing about violet Femmes. I like the music. Sort of. I mean, it's pretty good. It's not as good as they think it is. The violet Femmes think they reinvented the wheel and cured cancer and got rid of AIDS simultaneously instead of doing some sort of novelty music, which is fun. It's just foot tapping. I got no problem with the violet Femmes, but full attitude.

4:11🔗 Drew Black Rape.

4:11🔗 Adam Black Rape, Pricks. Thank god they're gone. Some of these bands, thank god no one's even heard of because they're gone.

4:17🔗 Drew They're gone so fast. Speaking of fun bands.

4:19🔗 Adam Now, give me, come on, give me a couple.

4:20🔗 Drew AFI. We got to hear an AFI song.

4:21🔗 Adam We got to hear, but I want to hear a couple more.

4:25🔗 Drew What does that say? Harvey Danger.

4:27🔗 Adam Harvey Danger. Yeah, that big blockhead came in here all full of himself with that one good song for 10 minutes. Who else, Drew? Come on.

4:35🔗 Drew Psycho Michael, Cowboy Junkies.

4:37🔗 Adam Cowboy Junkies. I like the Cowboy Junkies too, but horrible.

4:40🔗 Drew I don't know.

4:42🔗 Adam They had some good songs in the 90s. Now, Cowboys Junkies weren't flash in the panning.

4:48🔗 Drew Who else? During the AFI. Psych, I'll make a list of bands we thought were great, enjoyable people.

4:55🔗 Adam That's not good radio.

4:57🔗 Drew Come on.

4:57🔗 Best Of Let's say right here it's on.

4:58🔗 Adam I put AFI on there right now.

4:59🔗 Drew On the good list.

5:00🔗 Adam Yeah, put it on right at the top. Why are we just doing bands?

5:03🔗 Best Of What about people?

5:04🔗 Drew Because it's just the theme word.

5:06🔗 Adam Yeah, but put me on the top of the ass kissing list. Okay, you want to ask this list? Yeah, put me there and then put AFI on the top of the band list.

5:14🔗 Best Of You say that. Now, if we weren't sitting here, we wouldn't be on the top of the list.

5:18🔗 Adam You'd be on it. You'd be in there, shall we? You'd be in the field. These aren't in order.

5:22🔗 Drew No.

5:23🔗 Adam Everclear.

5:24🔗 Drew Oh, yes, of course, of course.

5:26🔗 Adam Drew and I were talking about the A-hole bands we've had on over the years. And by the way, we barely scratched the surface with the Cardigans and the violent Femmes and at the drive-in. Psycho-Mico and all those A-holes. But Nina Hogan, I wasn't even here for her, but I was probably about 10 years for her on the show. Aquabats were fine, except for the Aquabats wanted to do the whole show as the Aquabats. And they're all born again Christians. They made for a tough night, tough outing for us.

6:00🔗 Drew They wanted to be the Aquabats that night. They wouldn't drop their Aquabats.

6:04🔗 Best Of What is there?

6:05🔗 Adam And this is the whole point, this whole point. We, you see, you guys can run into these guys now when it's no big deal. We catch them when they're peaking. You know, we catch them because they never felt that way about themselves.

6:19🔗 Best Of I don't know who these people, they are they.

6:20🔗 Adam That's my point. That's my point. You would have known who they were if you were with us five years ago and you would have had to pretend like you liked them.

6:29🔗 Drew That's all. Well, they would have insisted that you show them for full respect, as Maxie Priest pointed out to me.

6:34🔗 Adam Maximum respect.

6:34🔗 Drew I disrespected him by talking to Shaggy who I like. That's a different call. Shaggy's on my list.

6:40🔗 Adam You can't judge.

6:40🔗 Drew Our list of bands we like is huge. And so I feel much better than them.

6:43🔗 Adam Rattle off just a few. Good salt in the earth.

6:46🔗 Drew It's like a wedding list. Anywhere we left off, we apologize. We have many, many more friends we realize than we do people we don't like. So it's AFI., Kate Cracker, Real Big Fish, Verve Pipe, Shaggy, Tonic, Boston's, Blues Traveler, Blink, Smashed Mouth, Sugar Ray, Everclear, Willie Nelson, Rod Stewart, Godsmack, System of a Down, Chili Peppers, Linkin Park, Bad religion.

7:03🔗 Adam Then that's all we could come up with.

7:05🔗 Drew Just in that three minutes on.

7:06🔗 Adam One AFI song.

7:06🔗 You are an asshole.

7:07🔗 Drew Oh, and the Insane Clown Posse. They're on our list too. There you go.

7:12🔗 Adam If you have any other drops that remind us of bands, please. People we like, feel free. Or that we don't like. Robbie?

7:22🔗 Drew Okay.

7:23🔗 Adam Robbie, you're on our list now. Put them on the list of people we don't like, Drew.

7:26🔗 Oh, there he is.

7:27🔗 Drew Go ahead, Robbie.

7:28🔗 Adam You're 22.

7:29🔗 Caller Yeah, hi, Jim. I'm just recently having some trouble. You know, I'm about to have sex. I'm a pretty good-looking guy. I go out to bars.

7:39🔗 Adam You better be good-looking if you're going out to bars.

7:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:44🔗 Adam Yeah.

7:48🔗 Caller Anyways, in talking to them, I kind of already know that they want to go to their place at my place and go have sex and stuff. But then recently, like a couple of hours before, once I get the idea in my head, I start to get, like, have trouble breathing. And I feel like I can't really handle it. But it's only going to happen these past couple of months. And I've had plenty of sex before.

8:13🔗 Drew Well, you sound depressed right now. Have you been feeling depressed?

8:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

8:18🔗 Drew Yeah.

8:18🔗 Caller I guess a little bit.

8:20🔗 Drew And sometimes when you're depressed, you're just sort of prone to panic and anxiety and everything feels overwhelming and something. You know, getting, although it seems like no big deal, getting involved with somebody on a sexual level, it's actually a very significant and sometimes stressful experience. And if you're already sort of overwhelmed and depressed, and that's going to trigger panic, I would think. And I, you know, we don't know you there may be other. One of the things about panic attacks is they seem to come from nowhere. It's very hard to tell what the environment is.

8:43🔗 Adam Drew had one once.

8:44🔗 Drew Oh, I had a whole year of them.

8:46🔗 Adam Drew had a year of panic attacks?

8:47🔗 Drew Horrible.

8:47🔗 Adam Couple of quick names. Dixie Chicks.

8:49🔗 Drew Of course.

8:50🔗 Adam Great girls. Of course. I swear to Christ. Came in here, brought us a whole big deli platter and stuff. It's a long story, but great sense of humor.

8:58🔗 Best Of Are they from the south?

9:00🔗 Adam I think so. They're from all, yeah. Texas, south. Tori Amos.

9:05🔗 Best Of Oh, yeah.

9:05🔗 Adam Snoop Dogg's great.

9:06🔗 Drew Snoop.

9:06🔗 Adam Destiny's Child were great.

9:08🔗 Drew Yes. Yeah. They were here some time ago.

9:11🔗 Adam Yeah, it's a couple of years back. All right. It keeps going and going.

9:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

9:45🔗 Drew I feel much better about ourselves. We're not negative.

9:48🔗 Adam No. I'm a little angry at these other things.

9:50🔗 Drew Yeah, but they deserve it. The point is, it's not like we're negative.

9:53🔗 Best Of We're being honest.

9:54🔗 Drew It's not like we're negative. We hate people coming in here. We hate people coming in here.

9:57🔗 Adam I'm going to see the guy from Harvey Danger. He's going to spit my Chamba Juice. He's going to be behind the counter. I'm going to get the protein smoothie. He's going to shoot a snot rocket into it. Yes, we're going to happen. All right. Where are we going, Drew?

10:13🔗 Drew So, anyway, Robbie, one of the things you could maybe do is get a real relationship going. That might help you with your mood. It might help some of the panic and things. So maybe settle down with the bar scene. If you're doing drugs and alcohol, it's going to make things worse.

10:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. This is a good time. So, Brianna?

10:27🔗 Yeah.

10:28🔗 Adam You're 15?

10:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

10:30🔗 Adam You have a hair question for Davy?

10:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

10:33🔗 Best Of All right. Yeah. Let's go, Brianna.

10:36🔗 Hi, Davy.

10:38🔗 Best Of Hi, Brianna.

10:39🔗 Hi. I'm so sorry. I'm, like, shaking right now. You don't understand.

10:43🔗 Breathe.

10:44🔗 Okay. Okay. Me and my two friends are, like, the biggest fans in the whole world. Like, you don't understand. Like, we talk about you every day.

10:53🔗 Drew No, Brianna. We do understand.

10:55🔗 Best Of Thank you.

10:56🔗 Drew We got it.

10:56🔗 Best Of That's really nice. We appreciate it.

10:58🔗 Yeah. I'm, like, shaking right now. You have, like, the greatest band. Everyone, all of you, like, put in an equal amount of effort. I love you guys so much. Um, thank you. But, sorry, I have to say that, like, all right. But, um, I was wondering, your hair, David, is, like, so sexy. I can't handle it sometimes. But how, what do you do? How do you do it?

11:21🔗 Adam Yeah, because I over-condition. Oh, wait a minute. I never shower.

11:25🔗 That's right.

11:26🔗 Best Of You know, honestly, I...

11:28🔗 Caller How do you do that?

11:30🔗 Best Of Honestly, I don't do too much.

11:31🔗 Adam And I was, I was this close to asking, I know Drew has been for a couple hours now.

11:37🔗 Best Of I was afraid.

11:38🔗 Drew I was afraid.

11:39🔗 Best Of Well, guys, I deep-condition every once in a while. Hold on, hold on.

11:43🔗 Adam Slow down.

11:44🔗 Best Of OK.

11:44🔗 Adam Deep. And do you do like a hot oil or?

11:47🔗 Best Of If necessary, but rarely. I try to keep it up so I don't have to do the hot oil.

11:51🔗 Drew That would be a shower.

11:53🔗 Adam Deep conditioning.

11:53🔗 Drew Yes.

11:54🔗 Caller Do you trim it often?

11:55🔗 Best Of I should trim it more often, but I don't.

11:57🔗 Adam Because you get you get split and you get fly away.

11:59🔗 Best Of Yeah, it breaks off.

12:00🔗 Adam My hair, I feel, is so much more manageable after. Because you know, and I got that oily T-zone, I got the combination skin.

12:08🔗 Best Of Me too.

12:08🔗 Adam I'm a mess.

12:08🔗 Best Of Me too.

12:09🔗 Adam All right. So a deep, a deep condition.

12:11🔗 Best Of Every once in a while, but I really don't do too much to it. Lately, I've been trying to keep it out of dreadlocks because it likes to dread up. So that's my latest thing.

12:19🔗 Adam How do you get the dread, how do you get it funkified for the dreadlocks?

12:23🔗 Best Of How do you go to dreads or away?

12:24🔗 Adam Yeah, well to it. Like, do you have to like not shower?

12:27🔗 Best Of You don't. It's not the showering, it's the brushing. Like, if I don't brush my hair out, when I brush my hair out, it actually looks like it does right now. It's like a little big. So if you brush it out, it keeps the dreads out. But with your hair, if you just didn't brush it and grew it out, it would dread up.

12:42🔗 Drew And how do you get rid of the dreads once you got them?

12:44🔗 Best Of You can't, I mean...

12:46🔗 Drew You just cut it off.

12:47🔗 Best Of If they dread up a little bit, like when mine dreads up a little bit, you can kind of brush through them. But if they're actually full dredge, you can't, you just gotta cut them off.

12:53🔗 Adam I think my hair holds in smell more than other hair, too.

12:56🔗 Drew No, again, if you showered.

12:58🔗 Adam Yeah, but Drew, look at your hair. It's nothing, it's like you got a couple, you got like, you got like, you got like an eyebrow and a half of mine worth of hair on there. Look at that. I can feel it.

13:08🔗 Drew I can feel my scalp.

13:09🔗 Adam My hair is like, it's like I'm wearing a helmet.

13:10🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, I get it.

13:11🔗 Adam Yeah. It smells like a beer in an ashtray.

13:15🔗 Best Of It's a curse though, right? I mean, having big, thick hair.

13:17🔗 Drew Oh my God.

13:18🔗 Best Of It's rough.

13:19🔗 Adam It's all right now, but it was a disaster in 1978. Everyone looked like Leif Garrett. I just looked like I had a helmet on my head. Everyone with the crazy Sean Cassidy hair and all that feathering, all that Farrah Fawcett beach, all that beach hair, remember that, Drew?

13:41🔗 Best Of Yes.

13:41🔗 Adam That weird Brillo head trying to part it to the side. Look like Danny Bonaducci from the Partridge family. Remember that? Like there's nothing worse than when a guy with really nappy, thick hair attempts to put a part in it.

13:56🔗 Drew And Commodore.

13:56🔗 Best Of Oh, that's right. Can we use a pomade or something?

13:59🔗 Adam They didn't even.

14:02🔗 Drew This speaks volumes about how little you know about the 70s.

14:06🔗 Best Of Well, pomade existed in the 70s.

14:08🔗 Drew No, you weren't allowed to use that, though. You had to dry your hair straight.

14:12🔗 Best Of Dippity-doo or something.

14:14🔗 Drew No, no, no. Remember, Adam, Adam.

14:17🔗 Caller Wait, wait, wait.

14:18🔗 Drew They had something called the dry look.

14:20🔗 Adam The dry look.

14:21🔗 Drew Do you remember that?

14:21🔗 Adam Yeah, remember that the wet head is dead.

14:25🔗 Drew Yes. The dry look is dead.

14:26🔗 Adam The vitalis or something. The wet head is dead. You know it worked because the hot model chick was all, couldn't keep the guy, couldn't keep her hand out of the guy's friggin head. You know, sway, ooh. What is that? What a strange chick coming over rubbing your head like it's some sort of good luck stone or something. But listen, let me tell you, let me just tell you about the pain. Let me just tell you about, all you kids, all you kids out there, first off, no internet and no TiVo, none of this. That goes without saying. No VCRs. We had no access to porn. The series didn't exist. You couldn't look at it. You had to have a movie studio if you wanted to show porn.

15:01🔗 Best Of Get one from the fourth grade classroom or something.

15:05🔗 Adam Put it this way, your parents, you wanted to look at some porn moving. Your parents, they didn't have to leave for work. They had to leave the country.

15:13🔗 Drew You go to a movie theater.

15:14🔗 Adam But then you'd be gone for like six months.

15:16🔗 Drew You'd have to go to a movie theater and you couldn't get in.

15:18🔗 Adam Yeah, you'd have to sneak into a porn theater and sit there with 70 other idiots. But that's not going to the porn. Here's the thing. Today, you can wear whatever hair you want.

15:32🔗 Drew You wear the way the hair looks good.

15:34🔗 Adam If your hair's thinning out, shave your head. Be a bald guy, no big deal. If you want to go fro, if you want to go dread, if you want to go long, if you want to go short, if you want to go buzz cut, if you want a flat top, page boy, whatever you want, that's what you want. And when you walk around, you just see people wearing the hair that suits them. The guy with the curly hair, he's got the curly hair. And the guy at the straight's got the straight hair and the bald guy shaves it or whatever. Back then, there was one hair do. And it went on for about three years. Maybe three to five years. It was a junior high for me in high school for Drew and getting into high school with me too, which you had to have your hair feathered. It had to go back to be parted and it had to feather back. And it looked essentially like Fair Fawcett's hair looked in Charlie's Angels. And then there was a couple of these Tiger Beat Heart Throb guys who had that hair. It's that Cassidy Brothers stuff. This long, long in the back, feathered, feather in the front. And that's it. Now, if you had a buzz cut, something happened.

16:36🔗 Drew Yeah, you'd be institutionalized. You'd be so ostracized.

16:40🔗 Adam There was one guy at our school who had a buzz cut. His name was Bobby Wilhite. It was like, what happened? I don't know. His dad's like in the military or something. It's like someone abused him. Like, yeah, you would. Here's the deal. Haircut was punishment. Like a guy got a buzz cut, screwed up, did something.

16:56🔗 Best Of What year was this?

16:57🔗 Adam Oh, man. This is probably 74 through into the early 80s. Believe it or not.

17:04🔗 Best Of Yeah.

17:04🔗 Adam It almost had like a seven, eight year run. You couldn't wear your hair how you wanted to wear your hair. Now, that was great for the guys who had the straight, long hair. As a matter of fact, goofy guys, little short guys with big noses and funny ears and double chins and everything get laid based on executing the hair.

17:23🔗 Best Of Right.

17:24🔗 Adam And there were guys who were like, I remember them. They're like the guy had braces, all nose and braces. But look at that hair. Oh my God. And he's getting laid based on his hair. And meanwhile, I got this crazy nappy hair and I'm trying to comb it and force it in. Do you picture me trying to feather my hair?

17:41🔗 Drew I know exactly what it looks like. Disaster. Exactly what it looks like.

17:44🔗 Adam Oh my God.

17:45🔗 Drew Old man, old dry and weird. It grows flat on the top and straight like a shelf. Like a shelf.

17:50🔗 Adam I got to go to therapy. Take me to therapy. No, I need a helicopter to take me to therapy. Not fast enough. Medevac to therapy.

17:56🔗 Drew Let's go.

17:57🔗 Adam All right, AFI. Maybe we'll be back.

17:59🔗 Drew Maybe I won't. I'll be back.

18:00🔗 Adam All right, after this.

18:02🔗 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

18:03🔗 Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

18:10🔗 Adam If the January Playboy is any indication, 2005 is going to be hot, hot, hot. Thanks to Jenny McCarthy's steamy pictorial in the January issue of Playboy on newsstands now. Well, it's still the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, and someone I was prepared to not like is in here. Tina? Yeah, I was.

18:37🔗 Drew She was awesome.

18:38🔗 Adam Because she's attractive and she's smart and she's so talented. She's talented and I was like, all right, I'm not going to like her, but you know what she did? Remember what she did? Started with a big fat compliment for the ace man and all of a sudden.

18:50🔗 Drew It's always good.

18:51🔗 Adam Turned to butter in her warm hands.

18:53🔗 Drew Yellow. Yeah. I hadn't even seen Mean Girls when they came up here yet, and they were very unassuming and very kind.

18:59🔗 Adam You loved it. One of your favorite films of the year.

19:01🔗 Drew Yes, it was.

19:02🔗 Adam And also a guy who we've had in here before is a great kind of real talent, Tim Meadows. So please enjoy Tina Fey and Tim Meadows. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, I'd like to welcome to the show from Saturday Night Live, Tina Fey, and formerly of Saturday Night Live, Tim Meadows. Tim's been on the show before. Thank you. A delight. And Tina, we've not had the chance to meet yet, but I'm a big fan.

19:34🔗 Oh, thank you. I'm a big fan of yours.

19:36🔗 No. Sure.

19:38🔗 Nancho?

19:39🔗 Crankanker?

19:41🔗 Drew She's studied up for sure. Wow.

19:43🔗 Adam Well, you know, I studied up on Tina, too, because I was watching Dateline Friday night.

19:48🔗 Drew That was great.

19:49🔗 Adam And saw a lovely piece on her. Went back to her old high school, sat in a cafeteria.

19:55🔗 Drew Nice.

19:56🔗 Adam Hard hitting.

19:57🔗 She's on the wall of fame.

19:59🔗 Adam She is. You know, I'll tell you.

20:00🔗 Caller Derby High is that name?

20:01🔗 Drew Upper Derby. I beg your pardon.

20:04🔗 Adam Yeah.

20:05🔗 Drew She straightened me out on that one.

20:06🔗 Adam Yeah, she said Upper Derby, and she's toward the upper part, ironically, of the wall of fame.

20:12🔗 I'm not on it yet.

20:13🔗 Adam Oh, well, they sort of pan to it as if you were going to be there, but then you didn't seem to be there.

20:18🔗 I didn't get on it yet.

20:19🔗 Adam Well, you will be after tonight's radio show. And Tim, I don't know if you've made the wall of fame at whatever school you want to.

20:26🔗 Caller Wall of Shame, Pershing High.

20:28🔗 Adam Pershing High.

20:29🔗 Caller No, I haven't made it yet.

20:31🔗 Adam Alright, and I'm not sure, by the way, Drew, what do you guys got? Well, your school puts out senators.

20:37🔗 Drew Yeah, but it's nothing like that.

20:38🔗 Adam I mean, you're nothing. You're on some, like, inside of a trash can lid somewhere, like the basket of disgrace. There's where Dr. Drew and CF. Cooper are. They're losers. They didn't even become vice president. Drew went to a very, very stringent prep school in which everyone went to Ivy League colleges and so forth. Tina, so I love, okay, let me say a couple of things first off. And Drew, I'm not just kissing SNL ass here.

21:06🔗 Drew He's not only kissing SLS.

21:08🔗 Adam Right.

21:09🔗 Drew Yeah. In addition to kissing SLS, you actually mean what you're saying.

21:12🔗 Adam But let me say, what's wrong with kissing ass?

21:15🔗 Drew It's a form of affection.

21:17🔗 Adam When we used to do the man show, I'd walk up the stairs and some intern be standing and say, hey, Adam, looking good, boss. Lost some weight. And I'd walk up the stairs. I'd get to the top and Jimmy'd say, you know, he's just kissing your ass. I'd say, good.

21:28🔗 Come on, raise.

21:29🔗 Adam I like that.

21:30🔗 Yeah.

21:30🔗 Adam It's even more better than if he just, yeah, it's like faking an orgasm.

21:35🔗 Thank you.

21:36🔗 Adam This woman cares. OK, so the show. Yeah, a lot of people have a thing with Saturday Night Live. It's like, oh, it could be better. All they do is think. I mean, it's been this way for 20 years. Since the original players. And I say a couple of things. First off, you go back and watch the originals. Yeah, it's hit and miss at best. A lot of legends, a lot of great work. But what sticks in your mind is the, you know, the Blues Brothers and the Coneheads. Go just watch a typical one where Buck Henry's hosting. And see what you see.

22:06🔗 See the other 58 minutes.

22:08🔗 Adam See the other 58 minutes of the show. Number one. Number two, it is exquisitely difficult to put on a sketch show, hour, hour and a half long show. Week in and week out. With no, you know, when you go see a play or something's been rehearsed, it's been taken on the road, every nuance has been found. Just to throw something up, see if it sticks every week is a tall order. And the news, always my favorite part.

22:33🔗 Drew Oh, thanks. And the ladies man.

22:36🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, and the ladies man.

22:37🔗 Caller Am I here to do my favorite part?

22:39🔗 Adam Well, Tim's included in the overall ass kissing umbrella.

22:43🔗 Caller Thank you very much. I felt some of that over here, too. I appreciate it.

22:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

22:47🔗 Caller And I agree. I think it's I mean, it's a it's a hard show to do, you know, and to be consistently funny is, you know, it's a challenge, you know.

22:55🔗 Adam Well, I've we've talked about my partners have talked about doing a sketch comedy show before. And I'm like, don't bother because sketch comedy is is a nine or a ten on the difficulty level. But people look at it as a four. Yeah. So why bother with that? It's like some incredible it's like if you're an ice skater, would you put the move in your routine that was almost impossible to pull off? But the judges didn't think much of it. No, you want to do an improvisational one. You want to do whose line is it anyway? Well, you just sit up there and basically warm over the same crap you did at the ground links ten years ago. And everyone goes, oh, my God, I could never do that. I could never do that.

23:35🔗 Caller I could never rhyme corn and porn in a song.

23:38🔗 Adam Never.

23:40🔗 Caller In a country you've never been to.

23:42🔗 Adam Right. And one that, albeit it's improvisational, but you have many of the parameters worked out well in advance. So you only have to put the mortar between the improvisational bricks through. You don't have to build a whole goddamn barbecue.

23:58🔗 Caller You're a dear dear.

23:59🔗 Adam I thought I was going to say that.

24:00🔗 Drew I was thinking about the guys from whose line is it anyway you've had in here, though, dear dear friends.

24:06🔗 Caller No more difficult art form.

24:07🔗 Adam No more difficult art form than the improvisational.

24:12🔗 Drew So I just try to remember their names. All right.

24:14🔗 Adam Well, we've had them. We've had them all over the years. Mean Girls is coming out. Yes, that's the movie where I'm going to plug.

24:21🔗 Drew Lorne Michaels will be calling in later. We are not to mention SNL ever again. That's all about Mean Girls from now on. Mean Girls is the movie we're here to promote.

24:29🔗 Adam Yes, I've seen, I saw snippets of it on the interview I saw with Tina over the weekend on Friday night, and it looked fantabulous. I also saw a clip of it on Leno, I believe, maybe Thursday night.

24:44🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, Thursday night.

24:45🔗 Adam This close to stalking you, baby. I'm really getting a lot of you.

24:49🔗 Caller Your Tivo is picking me up automatically, isn't it?

24:51🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah.

24:52🔗 Drew It's an equally human female characteristic.

24:55🔗 Caller Yeah, this is a female thing.

24:56🔗 Drew What is that? I'll tell you what, they've studied this in other primate systems. They have. And female chimpanzees behave precisely the same way. In fact, they will gather the group together and literally turn their back on the one that they've shunning. They have a shunning behavior.

25:11🔗 Caller Yeah, that's what it is.

25:12🔗 Drew It's shunning.

25:13🔗 Caller It's monkey behavior.

25:15🔗 Drew It's nice, isn't it? Yeah.

25:17🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't know what guys do, but it's more equivalent to the need of the nuts than it is the actual clandestine operation.

25:25🔗 Drew It's either in some sort of athletic jousting or you can go kick their ass, try to kill them. One or the other.

25:32🔗 Adam Right. Where so women are much more... I think women look at women as the competition, whereas men don't really look at other men as the competition.

25:45🔗 Drew Unless there's certain barriers of the men crossed, they've now crossed into something inappropriate. You know what I mean?

25:50🔗 Adam Right.

25:50🔗 Drew You're a best friend and all of a sudden I found out you did something, but they don't think about men as competition.

25:55🔗 Adam No, but I mean men look at women as sort of the trophy and if it was a race, they'd be trying to get to the trophy, whereas if women were racing, they'd be looking to their left and to their right.

26:05🔗 Caller They're trying to trip people to the starting gate.

26:07🔗 Adam Trying to trip them up before they get to the trophy.

26:09🔗 Caller Yeah, absolutely.

26:10🔗 Adam Right. I don't know which is better and which is worse.

26:13🔗 Drew Just different.

26:14🔗 Adam Just different? They can't be worse?

26:16🔗 Drew Yeah, I guess they could.

26:17🔗 Adam All right.

26:17🔗 Drew Well, this movie is about how worse they can be.

26:19🔗 Caller Yes.

26:20🔗 Drew Do you like Lindsay Lohan?

26:21🔗 Caller Yeah, I love Lindsay Lohan. Are you asking that?

26:22🔗 Adam Well, we all do. Well, look at her.

26:24🔗 What do I?

26:24🔗 Adam I despise her.

26:25🔗 Look at her.

26:27🔗 Adam Look at that nubile shapely body and those tight jeans. Yuck. Get her out of my face before I vomit. Yeah, she's a pig. I don't know. I like her. Why not? You like her?

26:41🔗 Drew I just think she's great.

26:42🔗 Adam Well, Drew, you see all the movies, right?

26:45🔗 Drew Yeah, because my kids, I love 11-year-old triplets.

26:47🔗 Caller Triplets. Holy mother.

26:49🔗 Adam Good luck and show her. Show Tina.

26:50🔗 Caller Yeah, pictures.

26:51🔗 Adam Tina, do you have any kids?

26:52🔗 Caller No, not yet.

26:53🔗 Adam You're too busy being funny to have kids, right?

26:55🔗 Caller That's what I'm telling my parents.

26:55🔗 Adam Look at those kids.

26:56🔗 Caller Oh my goodness.

26:57🔗 Adam Look at them. Beautiful.

26:59🔗 Caller There's three of them.

27:00🔗 Drew Do you have any pictures of your boys?

27:01🔗 Caller Yeah, they're triplets. Two boys.

27:05🔗 Caller This is good radio. We're looking at pictures.

27:06🔗 Adam Two boys.

27:07🔗 Caller Yeah. They're curly hair. Hold on. I'll get it over there.

27:10🔗 Adam That's nice. They can both date Drew's daughter. That would be a real taboo thing.

27:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:14🔗 Adam Drew Dixon.

27:15🔗 Caller Isaiah and Julian.

27:16🔗 Adam Wow.

27:17🔗 Caller There's a picture of Julian going through luggage for you in the radio land.

27:22🔗 It's from passing pictures around.

27:23🔗 Adam Wow. Crazy hair on those too. Oh, cute.

27:26🔗 Caller Yeah, thanks.

27:27🔗 Adam Beautiful. All right. All right. You ready to move forward?

27:31🔗 Caller Sure. All right.

27:32🔗 Adam Let's talk to...

27:34🔗 Drew Anyways, I can see all these films because my kids, my daughter, goes all this stuff. Like, what a girl wants and you know.

27:40🔗 Adam Is your daughter... But guys have the capacity to see a movie five, six times.

27:44🔗 Drew Oh, girls totally do that. Yeah, she does that too. Not quite with the same directed intention that the boys do. The boys like... We saw Hellboy on Friday and they were going back on Saturday. It's like going on a roller coaster. You gotta go several times. Girl will see it over the year several times.

27:59🔗 Adam It's good to lay that groundwork for when they get porn later. Like I've been watching Sex Boat and Taboo 2 for 47 years. I'm well into the thousands of watching. Still fresh.

28:11🔗 Drew Think of the money saved. You didn't have to buy all the... You don't need new porn every month.

28:17🔗 Adam No, I don't.

28:18🔗 Drew He's the same old man.

28:18🔗 Adam But I treat myself anyway.

28:20🔗 Caller I don't need it. You still don't know the plot of the movie.

28:22🔗 Caller You only know the first 10 minutes of the movie.

28:25🔗 Drew No, he goes directly to his favorite spots. He fast-forces through, finds the spots he likes and clicks on them.

28:31🔗 Adam I had this argument with guys before. I don't know if Tina can weigh in or not.

28:35🔗 Drew Tina can't quite grasp this. It's like 10 minutes into the plot. No, Adam's like, plot?

28:41🔗 Adam Well, the husband.

28:42🔗 Drew 10 minutes.

28:42🔗 Adam But maybe Tina's husband gets to watch. Do you mind if your husband watches a little porn now and again?

28:49🔗 Caller No, I don't. But I think actually I would probably be more likely to watch it than he would. Yeah.

28:54🔗 Adam Good.

28:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:54🔗 Adam He's got. He's got. Yeah, that's good. When you trick him that way.

28:57🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. Good.

28:59🔗 Caller If you don't like it.

29:00🔗 Adam That's smart.

29:01🔗 Drew That's a smart guy. Don't pull his cover. Don't pull his cover. It's cool.

29:04🔗 Adam All right. But Tim.

29:05🔗 Caller I'm against it.

29:06🔗 Drew OK.

29:06🔗 Adam But let me ask you this.

29:07🔗 Caller OK.

29:08🔗 Adam If I rent a porn, I got to watch the whole porn before I beat off to make sure that I'm not missing something like someone I went to high school with or something, isn't it?

29:19🔗 Drew But then you mark the spots you want and then you go back to.

29:23🔗 Adam I don't say mark because it sounds weird. No, I know. I know my head like I know. OK, this scene on the boat. That's great. I got to get back to that one. You know, you don't have to power all the way through. You have to watch the whole thing, see if there's something you're missing, someone who's better, someone you may have known before. No, no, me neither.

29:41🔗 Caller It's been a while too.

29:43🔗 Adam Yeah, me neither.

29:43🔗 Caller I don't know what you're talking about.

29:44🔗 Adam Me neither. Me neither.

29:47🔗 Caller I remember we watched them with friends, like you ever sit in a room with a bunch of guys in college. That's the most uncomfortable sort of like, you know, you sort of look around and it's like, well, I think I'm going to go eat or something.

29:58🔗 Caller Yeah, because what are you going to do?

29:59🔗 Caller Yeah, it's really...

30:01🔗 Adam Yeah, it can get uncomfortable. Yes, Drew? Well, here's the thing too, though. I don't know, you know, Tim, Drew, you know, me, we're all somewhere in the same age group, which is it's not like everyone had a VCR and a stack of porn in their room. It was like, if you're lucky, you knew someone who had one that was sort of in the den. And if you wanted to watch it, well, so did eight other guys. And it was sort of a novelty.

30:26🔗 Drew I remember my junior or senior year of college, they had a public viewing of Deep Throat. They put it up.

30:33🔗 Adam Really?

30:34🔗 Drew Because it was such, so novelty. And literally 400 students showed up to watch this thing on a little, on a Betamax, you know, a little TV or something in the psychology department's lecture hall.

30:43🔗 Adam Really? Did you go? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? How did you, did you hang in?

30:48🔗 Drew I didn't watch that much. It was not a most, not the most desirable experience.

30:52🔗 Adam But you went home and...

30:53🔗 Drew Of course. Thank you.

30:54🔗 Caller But he holds up the story.

30:56🔗 Drew It's always good. Yeah, over years.

30:57🔗 Caller You're even today, it still rings true.

30:59🔗 Drew Yes.

30:59🔗 Adam Clitoris, where her uvula would be or something, right?

31:03🔗 Drew Genius. Genius. Centimatic genius. Triumph. It's such a commentary. A puckish satire of contemporary mores.

31:09🔗 Caller Just like the Titanic of porn.

31:12🔗 Adam Keith?

31:13🔗 Hey, guys.

31:13🔗 Adam You're 25. What's up?

31:15🔗 Hey, Adam, Dr. Drew, Tim and Tina.

31:16🔗 Adam How are you?

31:17🔗 Caller How's it going?

31:18🔗 I'm hearing a lot of great buzz about me and girls. I'm hearing the heathers of the 21st century.

31:24🔗 Caller Thanks.

31:24🔗 Adam Wow.

31:25🔗 Very excited to see it. I got a couple of F&L questions for you, Tina, if that's okay.

31:30🔗 Adam Okay.

31:31🔗 First of all, Janet Jackson on a couple of weeks ago, she was on Letterman and very hesitant to talk about anything about the incident and on Siren Live she seemed to be able to joke about a little bit. Was it tough to write for her? Was she restrictive at all?

31:45🔗 Caller No, she was really cool. She let us try anything we wanted to read through and then we figured out what would be best for the actual show from there. But obviously she was fine joking about her wardrobe malfunction and stuff.

32:00🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, Keith? Yeah. That's enough. It reminds me of something though.

32:06🔗 Drew Adam's got to talk.

32:06🔗 Adam I just use our callers like Post-its.

32:10🔗 Drew They say milk.

32:11🔗 Adam But I'll go to the market and then get some other stuff too. If people come on the show that are a little tight-lipped on when they're sitting across from Letterman or Kimmel or Leno or something like that, but then they come on the show and they sort of openly mock themselves. And I'm wondering, do you think they feel like they're playing a character in a play almost, even if it has their name on it?

32:35🔗 Caller Yeah, maybe it's because it's rehearsed for a couple days, they get, they feel like they're in control of it more than like if you say something on a talk show, you don't know how it's going to come out.

32:45🔗 Adam Because some of the stuff, like you know-

32:47🔗 Drew No, there'd be no follow on to them, sorry.

32:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:49🔗 Drew Right.

32:50🔗 Adam As I, you know, I saw her on Letterman and Letterman was asking the kind of questions you'd ask if she was on your show. And she was pretty tight-lipped about it. And then, and I've seen this with a lot of celebrities. So immediately come on the show and start poking fun at themselves and or making fun of other celebrities. Like, you know, they're playing Courtney Love. You know, I, I, normally this is sort of a town where you'd be scared that Courtney Love would then, you know, hit you El Cabong style with a guitar, you know, for making fun of her. She, you know, if anyone's going to bring back the El Cabong, it would be Courtney. I think it would be Courtney, right? Well, you got to go acoustic if you're going El Cabong. It just, it doesn't work with electric guitar. You need, you need, you need something to crack over someone's head.

33:36🔗 Drew She needs a Lone Ranger band across her eyes.

33:39🔗 Adam This is the best of Loveline and we'll be right back with Tina Fey and Tim Meadows.

33:44🔗 Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

33:53🔗 Drew Thanks to Jenny McCarthy and her steamy pictorial, January will no longer officially be known as the coldest month of the year.

34:00🔗 Adam Tina Fey and Tim Meadows to go. Alright, let's talk to Kelsey who's 21. Kelsey? What's happening baby doll?

34:10🔗 Having some problems.

34:11🔗 Adam Alright.

34:14🔗 Hello?

34:15🔗 Drew Yeah, we're here.

34:16🔗 Adam Here we go.

34:18🔗 I'm having some problems. When I have intercourse, I don't have any vaginal wetness at all.

34:25🔗 Drew Are you on a medication?

34:27🔗 Birth control, that's it.

34:28🔗 Drew Which birth control?

34:30🔗 Orthotrycyclin.

34:32🔗 Drew You know, that will do that sometimes. It's more common. Yeah. That's not the pill that usually does that, but I have had patients complain about that from that pill. So, you may want to talk to your doctor about changing to something a little bit more.

34:44🔗 I mean, is it normal? My significant other just thinks I'm not having an orgasm. I have an orgasm, but I don't have any wetness.

34:51🔗 Drew Yeah. Usually, in my experience, that's been from the progesterone in the pills that does that. The fact that you can't have an, you're actually, you are having an orgasm?

34:59🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

35:01🔗 Adam Really? Why are you shaking your head?

35:03🔗 Drew It sounds funny. There'd be no arousal, but again, the dryness can be a lack of estrogen.

35:07🔗 Adam You're as bad as her fiance is, true.

35:10🔗 Drew Pretty bad, huh?

35:11🔗 Adam Hey, Kelsey?

35:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:12🔗 Adam Does he not believe you?

35:15🔗 Caller What? He doesn't believe, well, he, you know, he just thinks that when a woman has an orgasm, there's to be a puddle underneath her of what?

35:22🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

35:24🔗 Adam Yeah, that was his last gown.

35:27🔗 Drew I'm sure. Sorry, Kelsey.

35:28🔗 Caller What about some, like, astroglide? Right.

35:30🔗 Drew Something to compensate for that. Exactly. I think it's not so much. Are you getting pain or irritation or intercourse?

35:37🔗 Caller Kind of. When I have an orgasm, I kind of do have, like, a little discomfort in the beginning.

35:42🔗 Drew So you might as well just use some lubricant and tell your boyfriend to shut up. He might not even need to change the pill. It was not bothering you.

35:49🔗 Adam You make noise and stuff, though? So, I mean, he could have got something to hang his hat on, right?

35:55🔗 Caller He did do something, right? It's not abnormal. It does happen.

35:59🔗 Drew It happens for you. Yes, you're fine. You're fine.

36:02🔗 Caller Thank you.

36:03🔗 Adam All right. Use that lube. I wonder how lube consumption is doing in this country.

36:09🔗 Drew Why?

36:09🔗 Adam I don't know. Let's just start thinking about it. Just thinking about it.

36:13🔗 Drew It's up?

36:14🔗 Adam Lube is up. There's got to be some sort of shareholders meeting over KY or something where they point to a graph.

36:21🔗 Drew Well, Tina mentioned Astroglyde. That's the first time I've had somebody that mentioned a brand name.

36:24🔗 Caller Well, it's a good brand.

36:26🔗 Drew See?

36:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:27🔗 Drew So, Astroglyde must be making a move.

36:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:29🔗 Adam They run the commercial every once in a while when they talk about feminine lubrication.

36:34🔗 Caller They have that KY warming commercial. Oh, yeah.

36:37🔗 Drew That's creepy. Trogen has a warming condom now too.

36:41🔗 Adam Wow.

36:41🔗 Caller Yeah. They have a vibrating condom. Somebody... Yeah, it was like a... No, not Trogen. Somebody.

36:47🔗 Adam You know, does the KY warming thing. They use the guy, Pat Morita, Mr. Miyagi. He does that thing, and it's like he laid his hands on your vagina. It would be great when it just...

36:58🔗 Caller Hassan!

37:00🔗 Adam I like the idea. I like the idea of the warming lube, even if it wasn't, you know, used in a sexual way. Just a little chafing on the elbows.

37:09🔗 Caller Hurt yourself playing tennis?

37:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

37:10🔗 Drew Warm it up.

37:11🔗 Adam Give me some of that lava KY. All right. Drew, I used some of that in my hair, didn't I once? What did I use?

37:20🔗 Drew You used Astroglide.

37:21🔗 Adam Astroglide.

37:21🔗 Drew Yeah, we were at a college, and he mentioned that he had nothing to put in his hair.

37:25🔗 Adam My hair was getting a little nappy.

37:26🔗 Drew So he reached in the closet, there's some Astroglide, just put it in. There you go.

37:30🔗 Adam Works fine. Here's my theory. It works. Almost everything is just...

37:33🔗 Drew Don't encourage him, Tina.

37:36🔗 Adam Almost any... Well, by the way, anything you shove up your ass, you can put on your head. All right, fair enough. If you can put it up your ass, you can eat it.

37:43🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

37:43🔗 Adam If you can put it up your ass, you can ram it in your eye repeatedly in a sharp stick and it'll be fine.

37:48🔗 Drew Not necessarily the eye, but you can put it in your mouth and on your hair.

37:50🔗 Adam I'm telling you, if you can put it in your ass, you could rub it in your baby's eye and it'll be fine.

37:54🔗 Drew Can you put stool in your eye? No.

37:56🔗 Stool?

37:57🔗 Best Of No.

37:58🔗 Caller I...

37:59🔗 Best Of All right. Well, hold on.

38:02🔗 Drew I didn't say have you. I said could you or is it a good thing to do?

38:05🔗 Adam Okay. Touche, Drew. But there's no company producing stool.

38:10🔗 Drew Yes. Touche. Adam Corolla's new stool, synthesized stool. I think you'll just be Duke by Adam Carolla.

38:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:19🔗 All right.

38:21🔗 Adam We could find some use for it.

38:23🔗 Drew For Duke?

38:24🔗 Adam Well, I'm saying we come up with a synthesized stool and then let the consumer figure out what to do with it.

38:29🔗 Caller What they want to smear it on.

38:31🔗 Adam Let's not do it the other way where we come up with the product and then, you know, they come up with the need.

38:35🔗 Drew Duke by Adam Corolla, the ultimate democratic solution. Right.

38:39🔗 Adam Whatever you want. I'd imagine be used in, you know, fraternity hazing and things like that. You got neighbors on your nerves. Just broke up with a girlfriend, you know, where cars park, you know, that kind of stuff.

38:50🔗 Caller Right, you want to mess with the neighbor, but you don't want, you know, DNA testing to come back to the problem.

38:54🔗 Adam Yeah, because stool, take it from me, chock full of DNA.

39:01🔗 Caller That's corn, not DNA.

39:06🔗 Adam Mike?

39:07🔗 Yes, sir.

39:08🔗 Adam You're 16?

39:09🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

39:10🔗 Adam What's up?

39:10🔗 Caller First off, Adam, man, you should run for governor in California. You know that?

39:14🔗 Adam All right, all right. I'll do that.

39:17🔗 Caller Dr. RRU and tonight's guest.

39:20🔗 Caller Hello?

39:21🔗 Caller Hi.

39:22🔗 Adam That's Tina Fey and Tim Meadows, by the way.

39:24🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, thanks. I forgot her name.

39:26🔗 Drew All these mean girls. What's up?

39:27🔗 Caller Oh, really? So my parents found out I smoke pot or my mom did, actually. She found my pipe in my pocket and, you know, they both smoke pops herself. So and my dad, he's not like, you know, totally anti-smoking, but he's just like, I know you're going to do it. So just be responsible. My mom is just totally, you know, don't do this. I'm kicking you out of my house. And so my dad and mom are divorced. So my dad.

39:56🔗 Drew So you're going to look at your dad's smoke pot?

39:58🔗 Caller Ask me to move in with them.

39:59🔗 Drew Fantastic.

40:00🔗 Caller And you think I should do this or?

40:02🔗 Drew I think you'll stay with your mom and listen to her.

40:04🔗 Caller What? You think I should?

40:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

40:07🔗 Adam Well, here's the thing, Mike.

40:08🔗 Caller How old is he?

40:09🔗 Adam He's 16.

40:10🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

40:11🔗 Drew There's a million things to tell, Mike, but you go ahead.

40:13🔗 Adam Well, it's not a popular opinion, but smart people can do drugs up to a point. If you're mediocre in the brains department or even low, if you do drugs, you're going to be unemployable. No one really talks about this. I put Mike on hold so I don't offend him, but... Go ahead, Governor. Here's the thing. If you're a super-intelligent guy or gal, you can dabble in drugs a little bit. You can experiment. You can even smoke weed on a semi-regular basis and still have a regular job and make lots of money and go to college. You can do well. You won't do as well as you would have done if you didn't do the drugs, but you get knocked down from sort of super genius to just above average. If you're hovering somewhere around it, not really able to complete high school or get a job, and then start doing copious amounts of drugs, you'll just be like retarded. You will slide down. I mean, it numbs you a certain percent. Now, eventually, you'll have liver problems and you'll be whatever. You'll be out in the street and you'll kill yourself. But I'm just talking about in the short term, we don't really talk about this that much. It's just like drugs are bad, pot's bad, don't do this, don't do that.

41:16🔗 Drew Just don't dumb down.

41:17🔗 Adam A guy like Mike needs to use all of, he needs to feel like he just hopped out of a cold shower in order to take a test or fill out a job application. If he's sort of, and we all know those guys that are, there's comics who can just get baked and stoned and high, whatever, and then walk out on stage and be a genius for an hour. Mike is not that guy.

41:40🔗 Drew And eventually that house of cards falls too. And the thing about the pod, under the age of 18 is there is some data that suggests it can interrupt development, emotional development. And if you are prone to addiction, Mike, you're profoundly addicted for some people.

41:54🔗 Caller Well, first of all, Adam, I go to school and beg Thomas every day, and I don't make bad grades. I make A's, B's, and probably a C.

42:01🔗 Drew But here's the deal, is that you are addicted, and that's the deal, Mike, and it is an interruption of the normal developmental process. It's something you're going to be doing every day from now on. It will have great difficulty stopping. It's responsible for about one out of five admissions to chemical dependency units today in the United States. It is a very, very addictive drug for some people. You're one of those people, and you're starting at a young enough age where it's going to have real consequences.

42:24🔗 Adam Well, you go to school baked every day, and your parents smoke out, so maybe you are one of those people.

42:28🔗 Drew But intellectually, it's not so much my concern. It is really more about emotional development, and I see all addiction is what I call a bid for affect regulation, but to control and regulate feelings. And once you get going with it, it's bad. It's tough to stop. So good luck.

42:42🔗 Adam Hey, Mike?

42:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:43🔗 Adam All right, so I'm not sure what your plans are for the future, but I would really encourage you to ease off on the weed. And listen, I'm not uptight. I'll smoke weed if someone gives me weed.

42:54🔗 Caller All right, let's go smoke a boat, Adam.

42:56🔗 Adam I'm done with the. Well, no, I got to do it with like someone. I got it. Here's the thing. I got to do it with a cool person. You know what I mean?

43:03🔗 Drew Like you get anxious, you freak out.

43:05🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't want to do it with someone who's less cool than I am. Otherwise, it's no fun.

43:08🔗 Drew I see.

43:09🔗 Adam I want someone to be cooler, you know, Snoop Dogg.

43:12🔗 Drew He's done it with Snoop too many times.

43:15🔗 Adam Oh my God. Man, I smoke a lot of weed.

43:18🔗 Drew He's still back at it.

43:20🔗 Adam He's back at it.

43:20🔗 Drew I thought Bishop Don Juan cured him.

43:23🔗 Caller He claimed to not do it.

43:24🔗 Adam Yeah, anytime he got a guy.

43:25🔗 Drew His spiritual advisor cured him.

43:26🔗 Adam He's a chalice, sure. He's his spiritual advisor.

43:30🔗 Caller The big pimp?

43:30🔗 Drew I beg your pardon.

43:31🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

43:31🔗 Drew It's Bishop Don Juan, his spiritual advisor.

43:34🔗 Adam I have been to the bishop's house or should I say apartment, which is not very far from here. And not many guys own a Cadillac and a Rolls-Royce and live in an apartment. What the bishop does. I mean, I walked into this guy's apartment and it was like a scene. It was like that scene from Animal House where the guy comes into the black road house. He's like, Otis, my man. And I just came walking in, howdy, fellas. And like 19 gang bangers and just a haze of smoke, all playing video games and eating Popeye. All just sitting there and they all just sort of looked up at me very slowly and simultaneously. It was a good time. I've leafed through the bishop's closet. Seemed some of his outfits. He's good people. Good people. Good times. All right. Good times. Tina Fey is here. Timmy the Bishop Meadows is here tonight. So we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

44:36🔗 Best Of All right, guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person. One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

44:48🔗 1-800-CALL-LA-FINE.

44:49🔗 Caller Love, 191.

45:15🔗 Adam Hey, everyone, it's Loveline, the best of Loveline that is. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, and let's keep this ferry boat steaming forward.

45:24🔗 Drew We're lucky to have a lot of the cast from the big hit OC. We have had Peter Gallagher, Adam Brody later in the week, and tonight, Melinda Clarke.

45:36🔗 Caller Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

45:38🔗 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Melinda Clarke is here tonight. She is from the OC. Fox, Wednesday night, 9 o'clock. Denise?

45:51🔗 Hi.

45:51🔗 Adam What's happening? You're 20 years of age.

45:54🔗 Caller Yeah. I was just wondering, like, I have no experience in obviously relationships. This is my first relationship I'm in at the moment. And I was just wondering, like, how do you know, like, when to get out? How, you know, how do I bring up a certain subject to them that really, really makes me uncomfortable?

46:11🔗 Adam What? How do you what? Do you want out of the relationship or do you want to bring up something? Is that what you want to bring up?

46:17🔗 Caller More the fact that how do I bring it up? Bring up what? Just recently, I guess he had a lot of partners in his past and he had a girlfriend or an ex-girlfriend that got pregnant, not by him, but had the baby and he wants to go see her. And, you know, that makes me uncomfortable. And there's also the fact that he has a friend, a girl who's a friend in Pennsylvania, but I guess his mother bought him a ticket to go see.

46:43🔗 Drew Oh boy.

46:44🔗 Adam His mother?

46:44🔗 Drew How did you meet this guy?

46:46🔗 Adam Well, wait a, hold on a second. First off, I don't know why his mom bought him the ticket.

46:51🔗 Drew That's more what I want to hear.

46:52🔗 Adam This could be an old childhood friend or something.

46:54🔗 Drew How did you meet the guy? That's what I was asking. I want to see who this guy is.

46:56🔗 Caller Oh, at a party.

46:56🔗 Caller At a party.

46:59🔗 Drew At a party?

46:59🔗 Caller At a party.

47:01🔗 Drew Oh, now you know, Drew. What does he do for a living?

47:03🔗 Adam Oh, that's enough. Drew knows. He met at a party.

47:06🔗 Drew What does he do for a living?

47:07🔗 Caller That explains it all. At Applebee's, he's trying to become a policeman.

47:12🔗 Drew A policeman.

47:12🔗 Adam Oh, that's a bad sign.

47:14🔗 Drew Right now at Applebee's.

47:15🔗 Adam Hmm. All right. Well, Drew, now it's coming out in vivid detail. How about you let me talk for a second? We'll get some real answers. Denise. Yes? Quiet. I have questions. Okay. Don't say I'm sorry. It makes me feel bad about myself.

47:31🔗 Drew Not about you though, Denise.

47:32🔗 Adam But you could apologize for apologizing. Would you like to do that?

47:35🔗 Caller Yes. I'm sorry, sir.

47:37🔗 Adam Okay. Sorry, sir? He is going to Pennsylvania to hook up with a woman that he has known for how long?

47:45🔗 Caller I believe he's known her for about three years.

47:48🔗 Adam Three years. And why is his mom buying him a ticket to go back and meet a woman who he's been friends with for a relatively short period of time?

47:56🔗 Caller I guess they've been friends, and I guess they've been planning this before he even met me.

48:02🔗 Drew Why is the mom involved with this?

48:05🔗 Caller I guess it's going to be his birthday present, basically.

48:07🔗 Drew All right.

48:07🔗 Adam And they never had any kind of relationship?

48:10🔗 Caller No, not them.

48:12🔗 Drew All right.

48:12🔗 Adam And now the part about his ex-girlfriend having a kid and wanting him to visit her, see the kid is within the realm of normal. That's no big deal, is it?

48:26🔗 Caller Well, hold on a second.

48:28🔗 Adam Hold on, that's the Pee Whipper speaking over there.

48:30🔗 Drew No.

48:31🔗 Adam That's not, look, it's not weird. I mean, it's weird to double date or to go maybe to go hang out with her. But the fact that she just had a kid sort of nullifies the weirdness in that you'll have, not a little bit, it really does nullify it.

48:49🔗 Drew You don't know when the kid was, the kid maybe six years old. I don't know how old the kid is.

48:53🔗 Adam She just had a baby and she wants him to see the baby.

48:56🔗 Drew Oh, I didn't hear that.

48:57🔗 Adam Well, okay, let's just make sure. Her line is cutting out. Denise?

49:01🔗 Caller Yes?

49:01🔗 Adam How long ago did his ex-girlfriend have the baby?

49:04🔗 Caller Last Friday.

49:06🔗 Okay. All right.

49:07🔗 Adam Okay, so that's a zero right there.

49:08🔗 Yeah.

49:10🔗 Caller Well, my other concern is the fact that he wants me to actually go and I feel very uncomfortable with that. That is not the way I grew up. And I guess he said something about he wanted me to be friends with her.

49:20🔗 Adam Listen, I pictured Denise growing up in the back of one of those buggies with the triangle, the reflective triangle on the back. You're Quaker or Shaker. What are you?

49:32🔗 Caller I'm in fact atheist. My parents have been, they're practicing Catholic.

49:36🔗 Adam Okay. Look, Denise, you're 20.

49:39🔗 Drew You're Mormon?

49:40🔗 Caller No.

49:40🔗 Adam Please, Drew. Denise, loosen up. What are you, baby doll? You're 20 years old. Lighten up. Have a wine cooler, would you?

49:48🔗 Drew I don't. Jesus Christ. You may be reading more. You may be trying to sabotage this for some reason. I was going along with Denise for a while, but I agree with you, Adam, that there's something with her.

49:57🔗 Adam Here's the thing, too. She sounds like a robot. She's 20 years old. She sounds like these women who call up Dr. Laura. You know, this sort of weird, sort of, it's a weird chick thing. Guys do it, too, once in a while. The guys got their own crappy version of it, but it's like I saw my husband looking at pornographic pictures by the toilet. I wanted to know how to react to this. And that's like, what happened? What happened? He was looking through Frederick's Hollywood catalog while he was on the crapper. These women oftentimes are in their early 20s, and you picture them, you just sort of, you sort of picture them like churning butter out on the front porch by hand and wearing one of those do-rags, you know, on their head and looking like Little House on the prairie. It's just, you're 20. This jerk works at the Applebee's. Doesn't have a little fun, would you? He's had multiple partners before me. It's like.

50:55🔗 Drew He's from France.

50:56🔗 Adam It's like one of the Coneheads is called it. And by the way, his, his numerous partners are probably like nine chicks he had sex with before he got to you. And Denise was probably the fat chick from high school that dropped a few pounds. And he's gonna get a lot of action.

51:11🔗 That's one of the first ways to sabotage a relationship, be jealous about.

51:14🔗 Adam You start going after him.

51:15🔗 Yeah, and being uncool and being, yeah.

51:18🔗 Adam And it's just like, how uptight can you be at 20? It's like, he wants me to come with her. I'm uncomfortable with that.

51:24🔗 That sounds like somebody who's, her whole life had men who betrayed her.

51:28🔗 Drew First relationship ever, she says.

51:30🔗 But even like a fought, fought, yeah, yeah.

51:33🔗 Adam How many, how many partners, sexual partners has he had before you?

51:39🔗 Caller Kind of a bookworm.

51:40🔗 Adam No, no. How many, how many has he had before you?

51:44🔗 Caller I believe eight.

51:46🔗 Adam Eight. Well, I was, I was.

51:47🔗 Drew Way off, way off.

51:48🔗 Adam Well, nine, because I'm counting the chicken Pennsylvania was banging and we didn't tell her about it.

51:51🔗 Drew Yes, okay.

51:52🔗 Adam Okay. Eight. So listen, the point is, is when you've had zero partners, if somebody had one, they have 100 percent more than you. You know what I'm saying?

52:02🔗 Drew What I'm getting from Denise's upbringing is very intrusive upbringing. Right. Like squashing her as a person and not letting her express any spontaneous aspects of herself.

52:13🔗 Adam And here's the problem too. Here's, like I said, it's like on Dr. Laura, it's like they call up and then Dr. Laura gets her panties in a bunch and it's like, he's going to see? Well, you got to tell him. No, you got to lighten up. Just relax. Stop busting the guy's balls.

52:29🔗 Caller I've always thought that the, you know, I've always said to my husband, you got to go have a boys night out, go. And and he was always the type that would, you know, that's the kind of woman I want to be the one that, you know, I like to talk to this guy by a good different story.

52:42🔗 Caller Yeah, you think?

52:44🔗 Adam I love women that are super cool, but then your wife's probably that way too, right? Like he talked to her, she was like, oh, Drew, I told him get out of here.

52:52🔗 Caller I have a fun, go kick it up with the guys.

52:54🔗 Adam Hit a strip club, down a pony keg. I was good at that. But no, that ain't what it's like. That's not what the reality is. That's the way I like it. Yeah. Guys don't do that. We don't have like that cool off. I told my woman, hey, you want to blow a couple of strangers? Do what you got to do. Do what you got to do. I'm cool that way. It's all cool. We don't do that.

53:15🔗 Caller That's exactly what I told them to go blow a couple of strangers. Go on, honey.

53:21🔗 Adam So you're cool. You don't mind him going out, having a good time?

53:24🔗 Drew As long as he doesn't go to strip clubs.

53:26🔗 Caller Well, I don't mind that either.

53:27🔗 Adam Oh, really?

53:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:28🔗 Adam How about a lap dance?

53:30🔗 Caller I don't mind that either. I actually like him.

53:33🔗 Adam You like what? What do you like?

53:36🔗 Caller Lap dances are great.

53:37🔗 Adam That's cool.

53:38🔗 Caller Sure.

53:39🔗 Adam All right. Yeah, you don't mind. He's not that kind of guy though, right?

53:42🔗 Caller No, he's actually not. He's not.

53:44🔗 Drew At least he can't let on to the fact that he might be.

53:48🔗 Adam I like when Drew does this. The guy I like the most is not the guy who says he doesn't like the lap dance, the guy is confused by it. So how does this work? So you pay and then the young lady menses about on your lap. I don't understand. That's the best way to do it. Like, you just, pure ignorance. No, literally, I don't know.

54:10🔗 Drew I don't know. It's been that long.

54:11🔗 Adam It's got the word lap and dance in it. What could it be? Yeah, but I have no idea. How does this work?

54:18🔗 Drew Just hands on your lap and then.

54:19🔗 Adam I don't understand your ways. True doesn't know what goes on.

54:26🔗 Drew Now, we were talking about some details about what goes on.

54:28🔗 Adam There's no way you could go to a strip club, yes? No.

54:31🔗 Drew No.

54:32🔗 Adam No way. No way. All right. Melinda, you and me and your husband.

54:36🔗 Caller Yeah, we'll go.

54:37🔗 Adam I'm just talking about me and your husband.

54:39🔗 Caller Yeah, okay.

54:40🔗 Adam I'll find out what goes on over there.

54:41🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. Okay, give him a call.

54:43🔗 Adam Yeah, because this guy could be one of those guys who wants to go to the champagne room. You know what I mean? Guy brings his own lube.

54:49🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

54:50🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

54:50🔗 Caller Yeah, okay.

54:51🔗 Adam Yeah. I'll get to the bottom of it.

54:54🔗 Caller Okay, we should.

54:55🔗 Adam All right, me and him go down to Thirsty's in Van Nuys or something like that. Bob's Classy Lady. That's the place I'm... When you say Bob's Classy Lady, and it's on Sepulveda out in Van Nuys, really? Very classy.

55:10🔗 Caller There's some good ones out there in the valley.

55:13🔗 Adam Thomas?

55:14🔗 Yeah, hey.

55:15🔗 Adam Hey, you're 17. What's up?

55:17🔗 Caller Hey, before I ask my question to Melinda, I had a question for Drew. Yeah, yeah. Okay, sorry. Well, like, I've been sick for a while, like, I guess, like, two weeks. I've been hoarse, but I don't really, like, I don't really feel sick. So I was wondering, like, is smoking pot bad for that?

55:34🔗 Drew Yes.

55:36🔗 Caller Yeah, I kind of forget that.

55:36🔗 Drew And if you're smoking a pot every day, you will get chronic bronchitis eventually.

55:40🔗 Caller Oh, I mean, not every day, no way. But somebody told me that drinking makes you sicker if you're already sick.

55:47🔗 Caller Is that true?

55:48🔗 Drew Well, if you're it's that's actually a pretty complicated question. But yes, it can suppress your immune function.

55:54🔗 Adam Well, look, here's the reality. People don't talk about it that much. But it's 17. Do whatever you want to yourself. Well, it's not going to if you look if you're sick, you're going to be sick for as long as the sickness lasts. That's about it. I mean, look, you rest up and drink some fluids.

56:12🔗 Drew Well, the hoarseness is upper airway congestion in your trachea and laryngeal area. And so inhalers, that sort of thing can be useful.

56:19🔗 Caller Right. Have you been out to any parties speaking loudly on the weekends?

56:25🔗 Caller I mean, I've been singing and I had to do a chorus festival recently with my like half voice, but I managed to do that. So I've been using my voice a lot, yeah.

56:36🔗 Caller Because I find that being out, I would get chronic hoarseness if I was out in a particular place and have to speak at a certain decibel. And then you have a few drinks and alcohol and if there's smoke anywhere, all those kinds of things can stress your voice out. Yeah.

56:52🔗 Caller It will cause some nasty crap, but I guess that's another issue.

56:55🔗 Drew I got another problem. No, that's what I'm saying.

56:57🔗 Caller That's what he's saying. That's what I'm saying.

56:58🔗 Drew You have a tracheitis.

56:59🔗 Adam I have a theory singing with the chorus, perhaps his boyfriend's penis has been pounding on his upper palate here.

57:08🔗 Drew I have to pause it for a moment in that area. It's got to get much further down.

57:11🔗 Adam There's a lot of the guys who sing in the chorus.

57:13🔗 Drew Thomas, what was your question?

57:15🔗 Caller Melinda, I was wondering how they found you for the OC? Who approached you or how did they find you for the OC?

57:22🔗 Caller Well, I was just on Hollywood and Vine.

57:24🔗 Adam She was at Schwab's?

57:26🔗 Caller Yeah, Schwab's drugstore.

57:31🔗 Caller She went out on a thousand auditions.

57:33🔗 Caller As everybody walked by, I just raised my skirt and they went, you can be the bitch on the OC. This time of year, there's something called pilot season, and we go on and during that time, there's hundreds of TV shows and they ask you to come in and read for the parts and the producers actually knew who I was because Mick G, our producer, had done a show called Fastlane. I had auditioned for that.

57:56🔗 Adam And were you in Fastlane?

57:59🔗 Caller No, I didn't get the role.

58:00🔗 Adam Oh, but he remembered you from a good audition.

58:02🔗 Caller Yeah. And just, you know, it's just one of those things that worked out well. And they just offered me the role and the role wasn't originally as large as it is now. I don't think they knew what they were going to do with it, but they liked, I guess, what I was doing and they liked the potential for the character. So it became more.

58:20🔗 Caller Well, it's a good show. I like it, so keep up the good work.

58:23🔗 Caller Thanks.

58:24🔗 Adam All right, Tom's gotta go.

58:26🔗 Drew Well, gotta go now. By the way, are you a Mormon still batting 1,000?

58:31🔗 Caller You think?

58:32🔗 Adam Yeah, whenever Anderson plays the, are you a Mormon trop? It always gets an answer and a straight answer.

58:39🔗 Caller I have a lot of Mormon relatives.

58:41🔗 Adam You do? Back in Utah or there?

58:43🔗 Caller Yeah, Salt Lake.

58:46🔗 Adam People have this sort of fantasy that actors hang out, people approach them and pluck them up.

58:53🔗 Drew Or they're just some sort of mysterious story.

58:56🔗 Adam Yeah, you gotta go out, you gotta audition, you have to work hard.

58:59🔗 Caller You have to do sex with a lot of people.

59:01🔗 Adam Yeah, or mainly oral now, but back in the day, included anal. I'm not telling anyone any news. Melinda knows how the game is played. That's how she met her husband. The guy doesn't care about strip clubs.

59:15🔗 Caller We'll see.

59:16🔗 Adam Here's the point. I remember when we had Jeremy Piven in here, and Jeremy Piven has been in every single movie ever made. He really has. I mean, he's in every second movie. And I said to him, how do you get in every single movie ever made? He was very earnest about it.

59:36🔗 Drew Very serious. Yeah, very serious.

59:38🔗 Adam That's when I realized, we couldn't hang. Because I thought, here's a guy who works hard, and I don't need that. He's like, I get the script, I study the script, I learn the script, I become comfortable with the material, I get off script, and I go in and I blow them away. And I start thinking, after you've been 178 movies in the last four years, do you really gotta go in and like, let's have Piven read this. I wonder what his take on it.

1:00:04🔗 Caller Hey, he's John Cusack's buddy.

1:00:06🔗 Caller Yeah, and just close your eyes.

1:00:08🔗 Adam You know how Piven, I could picture, I could hear Piven doing this, anything, that any actor's ever done. I've seen him in a thousand movies. Yeah, just show him you're real. But the point is, he said, I know Melinda's a huge fan. He said that he busts his chops and goes in and he's real serious about it and everything. And I'm just saying, if a guy's been in 5,000 movies in the last 12 months, That should be enough. Should do that.

1:00:36🔗 Caller It's not nowadays. Everybody has to audition for everything, even if you're a celebrity.

1:00:39🔗 Drew Thus, that is why Adam is not on film or on television.

1:00:43🔗 Adam That's right.

1:00:43🔗 Drew Because he will not audition.

1:00:46🔗 Caller Uh-huh. And I think that's one of the most difficult process. It's a medium you have to become proficient in, and it's never, ever easy.

1:00:54🔗 Adam It hasn't worked out well for me.

1:00:55🔗 Caller Really?

1:00:56🔗 Adam No.

1:00:57🔗 Caller Have you done a few?

1:00:59🔗 Adam I've, well, here's what...

1:01:02🔗 Caller Sitcom auditions?

1:01:03🔗 Adam No.

1:01:03🔗 Caller Or comedies for film?

1:01:04🔗 Drew You won't do any.

1:01:05🔗 Adam I'm not interested in doing any of that. But the, well, add a couple of things. First, Feather and My Cap have had casting agents back when I was with William Morris, call William Morris and complain that I was abusive. I thought, how many, how many actors get the phone call back to the agent saying the guy was verbally abusive? But here's the whole thing. A casting agents are right down there with publicists in terms of just horrible wretched. It's like meter made Nazi henchmen, a publicist, a casting agent. They're all just retards and idiots. I mean, they're idiots. They're worse than publicists in their own sort of way. They're pompous too. They're hugely pompous.

1:01:51🔗 Drew They seem to be able to create roles.

1:01:53🔗 Adam They're idiots, please. And so the thing is, is I've had a couple of good episodes. One is, is you know, you sit down sometimes, they do that, what makes you think you can act?

1:02:03🔗 Drew No, really?

1:02:04🔗 Adam Yeah, I have got that before. Another thing they do is they tell you to get there at 5, and they tell everyone to get there at 5, and then everyone just sits around, and I go around the room, what time they tell you, 5, what about you, 5, what about you, 5? And it's like, well, it's 5.30, where is the guy? And they're in the back eating, and you can hear them laughing through the thing. So a couple of good things. I leave all the time. I always leave, and when you leave, they freak out. They're like, why did he leave? And it's like, because you said it was going to be at 5, and it's now 5.30, and no one came out. And I just said, if no one comes out in a half hour, I'm leaving. Well, you got to get back. No, no, no, no way. But I've had a couple of good ones. One is the verbally abusive one.

1:02:42🔗 Caller Most of us are just trying to kiss ass.

1:02:44🔗 Adam Yeah, they love that. The other one that was good is, got a call back and didn't go, because that was the one where they said, it was a one line. It was like one line, one line. And that's our thing. Here's the other thing about casting agents. They call everyone back hundreds of times. If you're Bar Patron number five in Melrose Place, where all you have to do is hold your empty beer mug up at the end of the bar, they want to see you six times. These poor guys got to get people to cover. You know, they're all waiters and waiters, cocktail waitresses and all this. They got to get people to cover for them while they drive across town and audition two, three and four times for the same idiot who already saw them for the same nothing role. So they said, come back and do it again. And I said, I was already there. And they said, yeah, yeah, I know. But come back again. And then I said, look, you want to see me do it again? I said, yeah. I said, close your eyes and picture me doing it the first goddamn time I was there. And they're like, huh? Yeah. No, that was another one. But listen, these are idiots. Who cares? Let's just take these people and publicists and just, just pull them, just put them in a huge ball and just throw them in the ocean so we have a better society. You know what I mean? And a handful of attorneys.

1:04:01🔗 Drew Once you're going to launch people in some sort of a, what do they call that, that device from casting it?

1:04:08🔗 Adam Another time I tried to get everyone to leave a casting call to like, there was me and about 10 other people there and people never showed up. So we just started, I just started yelling, let's do a mutiny. Let's all go. I'll buy everyone ice cream. They wouldn't do it. Actors are spineless.

1:04:24🔗 Caller Yeah, we are. I thought it would be nice to have be able to be verbally abusive to the ones that are abusive to you. All right.

1:04:30🔗 Adam So abuse next time you go out on audition. And they never. OK, Melinda Clarke is here. Don't get me started, Drew.

1:04:37🔗 Drew I won't.

1:04:38🔗 Adam Well, from the OC, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Hey, everyone, it's Loveline, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, and we say goodbye to the beautiful Melinda Clarke, and hello to the disgusting Bam Majera and Ryan Dunn.

1:05:16🔗 Drew Oh, yes, now I remember.

1:05:20🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, Bam Majera, Ryan Dunn here tonight from Viva La Bam. Drew, you cool? It's Sunday nights at 9 o'clock on MTV. Drew, what's the matter, buddy? Tough day.

1:05:40🔗 Drew Yeah, tough day.

1:05:41🔗 Adam Tough day at work?

1:05:42🔗 Drew A lot of non-surrendered opiate addicts, we call that.

1:05:46🔗 Adam People fighting you. Here's the thing about Drew, he's a sponge. He's very porous, he's very sensitive, and he goes to work, people give him a hard time, and then he absorbs it all. We go on the road, some fat, angry lesbian says, well, it gives you the right to dispense the medical knowledge over there, and then Drew's F'd for the rest of the trip. He's walking around, just staring at his feet, all funked out. Two days later, I'm like, Drew, what's the matter with that woman in the airport? Screw that fat ass. She said I was bad. Come on, buddy. You gotta shake it off. This business, so we gotta let stuff roll off you.

1:06:25🔗 Drew Gotta be tough.

1:06:26🔗 Adam You gotta be tough. You know what? We need you to be strong, man. You know what I'm saying?

1:06:31🔗 Drew I know, man.

1:06:32🔗 Adam Because there are people out there that care.

1:06:34🔗 Drew But do you care, man? Yeah, man. I need to know that you do.

1:06:38🔗 Adam I do, man. Come on. Somebody, look, all it's gonna take is one of you a-holes out there in radio land to call up, save Red Drew's book, and it didn't suck.

1:06:49🔗 Drew Oh, that is, if you want to send me in a spiral, I go to Amazon and just read a couple of reviews. That's true. Oh, my God. I put so much into this damn book, and people completely misread the thing, do not understand what it's about, and then just go off on those damn reviews, and I go insane.

1:07:06🔗 Adam Drew, what is that?

1:07:08🔗 Drew What is that? Why do I even go to the website and check the question?

1:07:11🔗 Adam Let's talk, because, you know, Young Bam and Ryan should know this, too, and I don't know how you guys feel about this.

1:07:17🔗 Drew Give me some cashews.

1:07:19🔗 Adam If you, yeah, this is Drew's medicine. This will make him feel better. By the way, this is like cashews that somebody threw a cinder block on.

1:07:28🔗 Drew I think these came out of the Egyptian temples.

1:07:30🔗 Adam Yeah, they're mad.

1:07:31🔗 Drew They're so old.

1:07:32🔗 Adam Do you guys sit, do you guys go in the internet and read, like, you know, horrible things that people say about you?

1:07:38🔗 Caller I seriously don't even, I have my own website and like MTV has a website and like, people post up stuff all day long. I don't even look at it, just because like, it's smart. I probably looked at it like a year ago and dude, it's just like a bunch of haters. Like, yeah, they just sign on just to talk crap because they know that you're never going to be able to find out who they are.

1:07:59🔗 Drew So they just go there and just, I love the people that give hate mail and go, now would you say hi to me on the air? And then you keep going, I'm going to keep doing this until you say hi to me.

1:08:09🔗 Caller Oh yeah, no way.

1:08:11🔗 Drew No way.

1:08:13🔗 Adam That's right. Yes. And look, here's the thing. There will be ten good ones for every one and a half bad ones, but the one and a half bad ones are the ones that stick in your craw.

1:08:25🔗 Drew Right.

1:08:25🔗 Caller I just don't know why, so leave it alone. I don't know what the point is. Like if I don't like somebody, I just simply will ignore it. Like if I don't like a band, I'll just be like, yeah, they suck. And then that's the end. But I wouldn't sign on and scroll down to the message board just to tell them how bad they suck.

1:08:41🔗 Adam Like that's right.

1:08:43🔗 Caller It's very painful.

1:08:44🔗 Adam Do you see, do you see people? These are men, flesh and blood. No different than you. I don't have that problem.

1:08:51🔗 Caller No one knows who I am in the first place.

1:08:53🔗 Adam Ryan has his chickens and that's where he seeks solace.

1:08:57🔗 Caller You got my chickens. You can't bring me down.

1:08:59🔗 Adam Let me tell you something about chickens. They don't judge. They don't know if you're black, white. I think they may know if you're Mexican. I'm not sure.

1:09:06🔗 Drew Why?

1:09:06🔗 Adam Because I got a feeling about that because the Mexicans eat so many chickens, I think they're scared of Mexicans. It's all that pollo gordo, the pollo loco.

1:09:14🔗 Drew No, no, they're afraid of pigs with hatchets.

1:09:16🔗 Adam Well, that's also true. The Mexicans, when they, you know, the butcher shops actually have pictures of the pigs, the drawings, chasing with a hatchet, chasing the chickens.

1:09:24🔗 Drew With the big chef's hat on.

1:09:25🔗 Adam Big chef's hat on. Who decided the pig did the cooking in the animal kitchen? You never see the chicken cooking. It's always Mr. Pig. He's serving it up. Yeah. Anyway, the point is, is the chickens, they don't judge. You go with them, and they don't send hateful emails, they don't snipe at you, they don't talk about you behind your back. They're just there.

1:09:53🔗 Caller They just poop out an egg every day and go home.

1:09:55🔗 Adam Poop out an egg, and that egg, that's an offering. Here, take this. Here's some sussonance. Here's some protein, high protein.

1:10:02🔗 Drew Enjoy.

1:10:03🔗 Adam Enjoy. Enjoy. That's all. You go on the internet, you get an egg? No. You get a shiv in the liver. You get an iron boot in a groin. You hear me, Drew?

1:10:13🔗 Drew And by the way, I don't mind criticism as long as it's thoughtful.

1:10:16🔗 Adam Stay off that internet.

1:10:17🔗 Drew I don't mind it. Thoughtful criticism? I'm up for it. But random, bizarre, rambling, acting out, crazy.

1:10:23🔗 Adam The internet is for porn and for fat people to seem skinny when they're talking to other people in other parts of the country. That's all.

1:10:32🔗 Caller It's so true, too.

1:10:34🔗 Adam It's not for you to look up your hateful reviews.

1:10:37🔗 Caller Dude, my friend Ryan G gained like seriously about 70 pounds or whatever and he just sends like a handsome photo of him when he was like 18 and I'm like, dude, gee, man, I hate to break to you, but you don't look like that anymore. Like you gained so many more pounds.

1:10:52🔗 Adam Yeah, the internet, it's like your driver's license. You know, you wrote 175 and there it will stay. You can become morbidly obese, but that's what it says on the license. That's what it's for, Drew.

1:11:06🔗 Drew Okay? Thanks for that.

1:11:08🔗 Adam All right.

1:11:09🔗 Drew So do you want to finish with Joe?

1:11:11🔗 Adam Joe.

1:11:11🔗 Drew The endometriosis and the flying over the snowmobile handlebars.

1:11:15🔗 Adam Yeah. Got shocked, scarring from the electrocution.

1:11:20🔗 Drew That's all.

1:11:21🔗 Adam Joe?

1:11:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:23🔗 Drew As my pediatric residents used to tell me, when these kids would come in with repeated accidents or repeated accidental overdoses, he would say, random events segregate non-randomly.

1:11:33🔗 Adam Yes.

1:11:33🔗 Drew Which is true.

1:11:34🔗 Caller Well, it spread out over my whole life, like the snowmobile a couple of years ago and the electrocution of another kid.

1:11:41🔗 Drew How is it most people get to live without any of those things happen?

1:11:43🔗 Adam No, that's untrue. Why most people have a bunch of scars and stuff.

1:11:46🔗 Caller I'm not very lucky.

1:11:48🔗 Adam Okay. Now, so just to make sure everything's cool, you were never sexually abused?

1:11:52🔗 Caller No.

1:11:53🔗 Adam You were physically abused?

1:11:55🔗 Caller No.

1:11:56🔗 Adam Okay. Family's cool. You love your dad, your mom?

1:11:59🔗 Caller No, my dad's an asshole, but he never sexually abused me.

1:12:03🔗 Adam What did he do? Just a bad guy?

1:12:05🔗 Caller He's just kind of a jerk, but he never touched us or sexually abused.

1:12:12🔗 Drew Did anybody else?

1:12:14🔗 Caller What?

1:12:15🔗 Drew Did somebody else?

1:12:16🔗 Caller No. All right.

1:12:17🔗 Drew How old were you when you lost your virginity?

1:12:19🔗 Caller Four.

1:12:23🔗 Adam Wow. That's creepy in its own way.

1:12:27🔗 Caller Thanks.

1:12:27🔗 Drew Do you use alcohol or drugs or something?

1:12:31🔗 Caller Who, me? Yeah. I drink with my friends sometimes, but...

1:12:35🔗 Adam All right. That doesn't count. So, Joe, you want to know how to get rid of these scars, and the problem is there's no real good way to get rid of them. Okay. It's like surgery and lasers and stuff like that.

1:12:49🔗 Drew It's pretty expensive to deal with scars.

1:12:50🔗 Adam But by the way, if the thing on the box says $40 and it helps get rid of them, you may want to try it.

1:12:57🔗 Caller Okay.

1:12:58🔗 Adam All right?

1:12:58🔗 Drew I don't think it'll work.

1:12:59🔗 Caller I can try.

1:13:00🔗 Adam Yeah. It's probably not going to work, but I don't think guys mind a scar or two.

1:13:04🔗 Caller Some guys are into tough chicks.

1:13:06🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:13:07🔗 Caller I'm kind of getting turned on by the whole scar thing.

1:13:10🔗 Adam Yeah. Especially if you work that snowmobile story.

1:13:13🔗 Caller Tough chicks. They're pretty hot.

1:13:15🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:13:16🔗 Caller All right. I'll take it in a compliment.

1:13:18🔗 Adam All right. Listen, the other thing, too, I'm trying to think of what chicks think guys care about and what we don't care about. Let's see if we can work this out. A, we don't care about nails nearly as much as you guys care about nails.

1:13:33🔗 Drew We don't care about lingerie nearly as much as you guys worry about lingerie.

1:13:37🔗 Adam Right. We don't mind it, but either the chick's hot or she's not. If she's hot, let's get rid of the freely teddy and let's get down to business. The nails thing, you guys are painting unicorns on there and stuff. That's fat chicks. They're just trying to distract you. That's smoke and mirrors. They're trying to get you to focus on their hand, which is the only part that's not fat. That's all it is. The fatter the chick, the more time goes into the nails. Let's face it. All right, so we don't care about nails. We don't care that much about lingerie. There's a lot of things you guys waste a lot of time with. You eff up your hair by screwing with it too much. All the different colors and the weaves and the perms and all that. We don't need any of that either. But things we don't care about that you think we do really care about is stuff like stretch marks. Not that big a deal. I mean, look, if a girl's covered head to toe with stretch marks, maybe that's something. That's something they wear.

1:14:32🔗 Drew They wear like hell about their like, right this part of their thigh.

1:14:35🔗 Adam The bottom part? Yeah.

1:14:37🔗 Caller That's where it all goes.

1:14:38🔗 Drew Yeah, but guys don't know what they're talking about. They're like, what?

1:14:41🔗 Adam Yeah, that's no. Yeah, I mean, look, you don't want it to look like a cobblestone road down there, but you don't care. If you chicks worry too much about the stretch marks, and by the way, even scars. Some women will have a little something, a scar, and they fell off the rocking horse and whacked their eyebrow or something. But it's not that big a deal, yeah?

1:15:01🔗 Caller I think they're confident about it. It's, I'd be psyched on it, you know, if they're just like, I like it, that's what happened, you know, like.

1:15:07🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, here's what you chicks need to do. You stay in shape, put a smile on your face, huh? That's what we like.

1:15:15🔗 Drew Show some enthusiasm.

1:15:16🔗 Adam Show a little enthusiasm, someone's eager to please.

1:15:19🔗 Drew That's it.

1:15:19🔗 Adam Yeah, and then all the crazy tats and piercings and stuff like that, it's okay, but we don't need that either. We need you thin.

1:15:27🔗 Drew What about shoes? We don't care about shoes, really.

1:15:29🔗 Adam We don't care about shoes.

1:15:30🔗 Drew That's all we think about is shoes. We don't care.

1:15:32🔗 Adam Yeah, they act like guys care about shoes. And we're going to be impressed. Like, hey, this chick was a mess, but did you see her shoes?

1:15:38🔗 Drew We never get there. I'm going to marry her. No, our eyes never get down to the shoe part. No. We never get there.

1:15:45🔗 Adam We don't even get there. Listen, your feet are just a platform to hold your boobs up. That's what I say. That's just a pedestal. I don't care what's going on with your feet. I don't care if you got bunions. I don't care if you got gorilla toes.

1:15:58🔗 Drew It's something about our biology. Our eyes won't even... Just don't...

1:16:01🔗 Adam Not interested.

1:16:02🔗 Drew You're on the next person.

1:16:03🔗 Adam Never get below the vagina.

1:16:05🔗 Drew Then your eyes go somewhere else if they don't like what it sees. You know what I'm saying?

1:16:07🔗 Adam That's right.

1:16:08🔗 Drew Into the shoes.

1:16:09🔗 Adam Yeah, we're not going, oh man, look at that big hook nose. And she got that weird fang tooth. And oh man, the saggy boobs and the beer gut. Ooh, look at those pumps. In the shoes. Well, it takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. Hello. Yeah, no, we don't care. We don't care about all the crap you guys care about. I don't know who...

1:16:37🔗 Drew That's the point. They care about stuff. So assume that your brain works the same. It doesn't.

1:16:40🔗 Adam Oh, and then the purse. We don't care about the purse.

1:16:43🔗 Drew We probably don't care about the smells as much as they do. No.

1:16:46🔗 Adam No.

1:16:47🔗 Drew No.

1:16:49🔗 Caller They care about my smells, but I don't care about theirs.

1:16:51🔗 Adam Yeah. We don't care about that.

1:16:52🔗 Drew Yeah, but they're busy with the perfume.

1:16:53🔗 Adam You know what I think we don't really care about? We don't care about jewelry. I mean, look, just a couple of little hoops in the earring, maybe a chain or something. Good enough, a ring. We don't need anything much. We don't care. We don't need big chandeliers dangling from the ears or anything.

1:17:09🔗 Drew Preferably not.

1:17:09🔗 Adam Yeah, there's sort of the less is more with the jewelry in general, wouldn't you say?

1:17:15🔗 Caller I don't get the whole flowers thing either. Like when you're at a restaurant and there's a girl that walks by with flowers.

1:17:20🔗 Drew I know, that's uncallable.

1:17:22🔗 Caller But then you got to carry them around like, the chick has to carry them around all day.

1:17:27🔗 Drew We don't have a flower section of our brain.

1:17:28🔗 Adam And talk about extortion. That chick comes by. And by the way, what kind of restaurant owner's letting that vermin in the door, that bloodsucker, the extortionist with a basket comes around, flowers? You gotta go like, no thanks. It doesn't look like an ale. And it's tough.

1:17:49🔗 Drew Or even if you go for them, it's you go through that awkward thing, no, no, you don't have to. No, let me do it. No, no, no. Why? No, we don't have to. Well, don't be nice. I'd love flour.

1:17:58🔗 Caller There's ten bucks just to go away and don't come back.

1:18:02🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, by the way, who lets people? And by the way, where's our thing? Where's our dude who comes around like Tivo. Yeah. Yeah.

1:18:10🔗 Drew He's VCR.

1:18:11🔗 Adam Maybe he's pedaling like Arm-R-All or something we could use to detail our car with or something, you know, just We could walk by the poor and imagine that. Yeah. DVD. Yeah. Taboo 3. Yeah. Where's our person that peddles crap? Use something. Leatherman. Oh, nice. Thank you.

1:18:30🔗 Drew That would be nice.

1:18:32🔗 Adam All right. A knife.

1:18:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:18:33🔗 Adam A buck knife. Where's something for us? Even some cool sunglasses or something. Or maybe just one of those Mexican marionette puppets. Something we could play with, you know? Novelty stuff like some kind of...

1:18:47🔗 Drew The finger lift.

1:18:48🔗 Caller The finger.

1:18:50🔗 Adam The Russian, the Chinese finger trap thing.

1:18:54🔗 Drew Or caps. We could, you know, pull snaps.

1:18:56🔗 Adam Some of them blanks or some poppers or something. How about some amyl nitrate or something? Yeah, for the gays.

1:19:02🔗 Drew Smoke bombs.

1:19:03🔗 Adam Yeah, something. Where's our stuff? All right. Let's take a little break. We'll be right back. Hey, everyone, it's Loveline, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, and it's time to say adios to Bam and Ryan, and hello to a dear, dear, dear and talented friend.

1:19:38🔗 Drew Did I not gush that night?

1:19:39🔗 Adam You did, Drew. Yeah. From, of course, the family guy, Seth MacFarlane. My dear buddy, Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Seth MacFarlane, who's quickly becoming, like, he's taking on cult hero status.

1:20:03🔗 Drew I'm not going to be able to get him on the show anymore.

1:20:06🔗 Adam No, this is it.

1:20:07🔗 Caller I'll always make time for you fellas, always.

1:20:09🔗 Adam He made it pretty clear, not through words, but through body language during the last commercial. No, at the commercial.

1:20:14🔗 Drew At the commercial, too, yeah.

1:20:15🔗 Adam Yeah, a body, no, I didn't see him at the party.

1:20:17🔗 Drew Oh, that's right, well, there you go.

1:20:18🔗 Adam Again, even if I was in the same room with him, I wouldn't know the smoke was so thick.

1:20:23🔗 Caller Yeah, it was a good one.

1:20:25🔗 Adam People were getting drunk, though, at the party, running into a bunch of cartoon nerds. It was awesome. I got like hypothetically put in like nine sitcoms, just from my standing by Seth's pool for 20 minutes. You want to ask me how many of them worked out, by the way? But, oh, everyone's a fan, huge fan, big fan.

1:20:43🔗 Caller That's great.

1:20:44🔗 Adam Big fan, yeah. That's great. Seth is here talking not only about the Family Guy, but American Dad, which is after the Super Bowl on, didn't the Family Guy open after the Super Bowl?

1:20:56🔗 Caller It did. It did. This is kind of a repeat of what happened with Family Guy, you know? And if we're lucky, we'll have the same kind of luck.

1:21:07🔗 Adam Yeah, but you'll sort of do it in such a way where you don't go away.

1:21:11🔗 Caller Yeah, hopefully there will be no cancellation during the... But yeah, American Dad is a show that I co-created with two writers, Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman, who have written on Family Guy since day one. And we've got this American Dad, which is essentially... It's usually Family Guy meets all in the family. It's a lot more political. It's designed for the Bush era.

1:21:40🔗 Adam You know, what's going to be nice is when they try to cancel American Dad and you give them the... You sure, fellas? Because I remember last time that happened. You may want to think about that.

1:21:52🔗 Caller I won't even flinch this time.

1:21:53🔗 Adam No, I think it's good because I think... I don't care if the ratings are in the tank and you're in the eighth season, they're going to be scared to pull the plug because...

1:22:01🔗 Caller Let's hope. Let's hope.

1:22:03🔗 Adam Seth MacFarlane springs back to life like a phoenix from the ashes drill.

1:22:07🔗 Caller The only trouble we could have, you know, it's kind of a left-wing skewing show, which hopefully will...

1:22:13🔗 Adam Yeah. So who does the show want to get in?

1:22:16🔗 Drew Bush or Kerry?

1:22:18🔗 Caller Well, you know, we kind of figure if Bush wins, I suppose creatively makes the show work a little better on some level. If Bush loses, the country wins.

1:22:31🔗 Caller So...

1:22:32🔗 Adam Right. So you have like a bit of a foil. I mean, it's just better.

1:22:38🔗 Drew Yeah. It's better comedy.

1:22:39🔗 Adam It's better comedy. Yeah. Meathead from All in the Family.

1:22:41🔗 Caller I've just lost all subtlety with that. You know, just...

1:22:43🔗 Adam Point about Nixon. Yeah.

1:22:44🔗 Caller Please don't vote for that man. Please.

1:22:47🔗 Adam Yeah. But, you know, all right. I want to get political, but I wish it seems like, I wish there were better choices all the way around. I would love to be more in love with Kerry, who I would definitely think is a smarter guy than Bush, although, you know, engineer Chris is quite a bit smarter. And I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean, you're smarter than the president of the United States, so wipe the puss off. But I'm not impressed with Kerry. I wish there was someone who was, I wish there was someone who I just really liked, like a little more dynamic, who you went, wow, this guy's sharp, or he's on the ball, or something.

1:23:18🔗 Caller Probably, that was Howard Dean before he blew it.

1:23:21🔗 Adam Before he went nuts? All right, let me say this, speaking of politics, we forgot about this story last time Seth was in here, or maybe it didn't happen yet, that whole 9-11 thing, which I'm sure you're, I've spoken about many, many times, but we haven't heard it. Tell us the story.

1:23:38🔗 Caller Well, I was, I missed flight 11, which was the first flight to hit the World Trade Center by about 10 minutes, and I was in Rhode Island giving a lecture at my old college, and it was a combination of a number of things. My travel agent had written, I guess, 8.15, and the flight left at 7.45 in the morning, so that sent me back a little bit. Plus, I was going a little overboard on the Scotch the night before.

1:24:05🔗 Caller Sure, you had a problem.

1:24:06🔗 Caller That day.

1:24:07🔗 Adam Yeah, I know.

1:24:08🔗 Caller He's locked in his room at the party.

1:24:12🔗 Caller I can admit it.

1:24:13🔗 Drew Yeah, I'll speak.

1:24:14🔗 Adam And, yeah, so you were late for the airport. What time? So did the flight leave on time? Did it leave at 7.45?

1:24:19🔗 Caller The flight, I believe, left on time, and I got there at about 7.30, and I got to the desk, and they said, they just closed the gates, you're too late. And I was so fried and exhausted that I just figured, you know, I'll just sleep and wait for the next one. And, you know, I was asleep, and I heard some commotion in the next room, and I went in, there was TV on, and the first plane had hit, and they announced the...

1:24:43🔗 Adam Where were you sleeping, by the way? At the airport.

1:24:45🔗 Caller I was in the lounge.

1:24:46🔗 Adam Just sleeping in the lounge.

1:24:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:47🔗 Adam And no one walked by and went, hey, that's Stewie?

1:24:51🔗 Caller Not at the time, no.

1:24:52🔗 Adam Okay, all right, I would have done that. All right, so you're just sleeping in the lounge, and now were you arguing with the person? I mean, like, I throw fits at the... I demand to be let on this plane.

1:25:03🔗 Caller I didn't, and I, you know, I've only done that a couple times. I'm kind of non-confrontational, like I'm usually, you know, I'm usually relaxed enough to find whatever I'll take the next flight, but it's... No, I just kind of said fine, I'll take the 11 o'clock and just wait it.

1:25:21🔗 Drew You woke up and you went in to watch this TV. Did you realize that was the flight?

1:25:26🔗 Caller No, no, not until about 15 minutes later and they announced the flight and then turned the guy next to me and said, my God, that was the flight I was supposed to be on.

1:25:32🔗 Drew How did that feel?

1:25:35🔗 Caller It was surreal and, you know, this sounds horrible, but I mean, it was relief, you know, at first, and which is, you know...

1:25:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:48🔗 Caller Well, no, you got it.

1:25:48🔗 Adam I mean, that doesn't sound natural.

1:25:50🔗 Drew Was there a elation, like, yeah, I got to call my family and tell them I love them kind of thing?

1:25:52🔗 Caller It's like, well, yeah, you know, it was interesting, because I called my parents and I called... I had left my assistant at the time a message before I got on the plane saying, I'm not... I missed the first flight, I'm taking the later one, which they didn't get, I guess, until after the fact. About 20 minutes later, this was about a half hour or so that they... Because they had my flight information at the office.

1:26:15🔗 Adam Oh my God.

1:26:15🔗 Caller And they thought I was on the plane. And, you know, so it was... I ended up just driving back across country and...

1:26:25🔗 Adam While... And driving from Rhode Island?

1:26:29🔗 Caller From Rhode Island to...

1:26:31🔗 Adam To... Or from Boston.

1:26:33🔗 Caller Well, from Rhode Island.

1:26:36🔗 Adam And driving to California. Yeah.

1:26:38🔗 Caller With two friends of mine that were also... Were also stuck in the area.

1:26:42🔗 Adam Wow.

1:26:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:43🔗 Adam Must have just been a surreal...

1:26:46🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:26:47🔗 Adam Crossing of the nation.

1:26:48🔗 Drew There's... In the shadow of everything that had happened.

1:26:51🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:26:51🔗 Caller Yeah, it was... It was... It was pretty crazy. I mean, it was... You know, it didn't really... In a lot of ways, it really hasn't sunk in. You know, I never really had that moment where I kind of freaked out and... You know, where it just hit me and I... You know, who knows, maybe...

1:27:09🔗 Adam Does it have to, Drew? What do you mean? That's a good question.

1:27:12🔗 Caller That's a good question.

1:27:13🔗 Adam Well, please don't do it tonight, by the way. I mean, if May or all this... No, no, no.

1:27:16🔗 Drew You don't have to.

1:27:16🔗 Adam I don't want to have to get weird in here.

1:27:18🔗 Drew Because there's no experience of brushing with death with this.

1:27:21🔗 Adam Right.

1:27:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:27:22🔗 Caller I guess that's it, isn't it?

1:27:23🔗 Drew Yeah. It's just... It's just a factoid, you know? Yeah.

1:27:26🔗 Adam In a way, it's sort of like your mom telling you she almost lost you in the second trimester or something. It's like, you know, what are you going to do?

1:27:34🔗 Drew It's amazing. It's a great story, but you don't experience it the way you would have.

1:27:39🔗 Adam You need to do that.

1:27:41🔗 Drew Take a break.

1:27:42🔗 Caller I really need to...

1:27:43🔗 Adam Have the bungee cord break or do something that really...

1:27:46🔗 Caller Do something to really get a sense of it.

1:27:48🔗 Adam This was a decent try, but this is more hypothetical than it really was.

1:27:53🔗 Caller I don't even like to take the freeway out of it.

1:27:54🔗 Adam Staring death in the face. And speaking of death, yeah, just close your eyes and listen to the voice.

1:27:59🔗 Caller Oh, here we go. That's a wonderful segue.

1:28:01🔗 Adam The grim reaper. How could you forget? Come on, buddy. Surely it's gotta be room for the hooded man in a sickle.

1:28:07🔗 Drew I hear Norm MacDonald. Oh no, wait a minute.

1:28:09🔗 Adam Oh, please.

1:28:10🔗 Drew Oh, sorry.

1:28:11🔗 Caller No, no, we're, we're, he sees, he sees, he sees a lot. We're very happy with Adam.

1:28:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:28:17🔗 Caller We're very happy with our current death.

1:28:18🔗 Adam Because I'm easy. I'm easy. Look, let's face it, I'm not as talented as MacDonald, but I'm easy.

1:28:22🔗 Caller Oh, stop, that's just absolutely not true at all.

1:28:24🔗 Adam I show up on time, I do my thing. I just, I'm not over the Flight 11 thing. It's incredible.

1:28:31🔗 Drew It makes you philosophical is what it makes you. It's like, hey, it's just not your thing.

1:28:35🔗 Caller I know, it's almost, it's fortunate that I, that I am not the least bit religious because I probably, you know, probably would have become a monk or something. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to write comedy anymore.

1:28:45🔗 Adam Right. Yeah.

1:28:47🔗 Best Of Was he the only one that missed the flight?

1:28:51🔗 Caller I think there were, I remember reading about a few others that had also missed the flight, but I don't, because if you're the only one, then you'd be like the chosen one.

1:28:59🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:29:00🔗 Drew Say, Anderson, ask that question again when you're not high.

1:29:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:04🔗 Caller I don't smoke weed.

1:29:05🔗 Caller I'm not high.

1:29:06🔗 Adam All right. Well, mushrooms, whatever, whatever you're on on this particular Tuesday. All right.

1:29:11🔗 Drew Let's, Anderson is Brian, by the way. Yeah, he really is like Brian. What do you mean?

1:29:17🔗 Adam He's stocky, anti-social, but lovable and an alcoholic. Lovable. All right. Let's take a quick question for Seth. Clint.

1:29:27🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:29:28🔗 Caller Hey, Clint.

1:29:29🔗 Caller Seth, I got to say it's a pleasure to be able to talk to you. Big fans since day one. And I just want to say when I found out that family guys came back on, nearly crap my pants. So my question for you is-

1:29:40🔗 Caller That's great.

1:29:41🔗 Caller On the DVDs, the special effects on them where it says that it shows you doing the double voices like Brian and I think Peter at the same time. I just want to know, what's your favorite voice to do and your favorite character and why?

1:29:56🔗 Caller Well probably the easiest one is Quagmire.

1:30:01🔗 Drew The easiest one?

1:30:02🔗 Caller Yeah, because there's really not, I mean it's not like, the character like Brian, there's, you know, I guess there's a little more acting involved, but Quagmire is just, it's kind of a breeze because he's kind of one note. He's just the sex guy and it's, you know, there's not really a whole lot of...

1:30:22🔗 Adam Do a little giggity giggity giggity giggity goo.

1:30:25🔗 Caller There you go. It's, it's, there's just, there's no, there's no intense Stanislavsky in preparation that goes into Quagmire, unlike the others.

1:30:34🔗 Adam So on the DVD, they see you doing the voices in real time.

1:30:39🔗 Caller I mean, there's, I think there's some video footage on there.

1:30:41🔗 Adam There's, there's, you mean, like Stewie can be talking to Brian and you, will you record that in real time?

1:30:48🔗 Caller When we do our table reads, when we read the script for the network, I have to jump back and forth from voice to voice because we do it in real time. But when I record, I generally, you know, will do a few takes of Stewie than a few takes of Brian. It's easier to do it that way.

1:31:03🔗 Drew One of the greatest Brian Stewie exchanges when they get high.

1:31:08🔗 Caller Yeah, when they're in the Amsterdam pot bar.

1:31:13🔗 Adam I love the Fantastic Voyage episode where Stewie goes in into the sack to try to destroy the killer sperm.

1:31:22🔗 Caller There's a lot of CGI in that episode.

1:31:24🔗 Drew Yeah, but if you grew up when we did, that is transforming.

1:31:29🔗 Caller Yeah, it's like, whoa.

1:31:31🔗 Adam Horse drawn buggies and gas lights. It was a different era.

1:31:36🔗 Caller I never saw that on Bullwinker.

1:31:38🔗 Adam I'm sorry, Seth, but now you have to do a little back to back. Yeah, I mean, you just do. It's bad radio otherwise. I could get fired.

1:31:46🔗 Caller No, I forgot. You know, I'll try and switch midline.

1:31:48🔗 Adam All right.

1:31:49🔗 Caller I tell you, Adam, one of my some kind of barking seal.

1:31:52🔗 Caller There you go.

1:31:53🔗 Caller Peter to Stewie right there.

1:31:55🔗 Adam Wow. Mid syllable.

1:31:57🔗 Caller All right.

1:31:57🔗 Adam We're going to take a little break. Seth MacFarlane is in studio tonight.

1:32:01🔗 Caller Seth Green has worked nonstop since he began in the business.

1:32:06🔗 Adam I made Seth Green read his bio.

1:32:10🔗 Drew As Chris.

1:32:11🔗 Adam As Chris.

1:32:12🔗 Caller That's great.

1:32:13🔗 Adam It's precious. It really is.

1:32:15🔗 Caller God bless the man.

1:32:17🔗 Adam The guy got started when he was a zygote. So it took him like three hours to just get to the teenage years.

1:32:23🔗 Caller He was in radio Days. One of my favorite movies and I can't really enjoy it anymore because now all I can see is Seth Green.

1:32:29🔗 Adam Yeah. He was a young Woody Allen in radio Days.

1:32:32🔗 Drew That right.

1:32:33🔗 Adam One of the more underrated or I shouldn't say underrated, but sort of cast aside Woody Allen.

1:32:39🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:32:40🔗 Adam Great movie.

1:32:40🔗 Drew He grows up under the roller coaster.

1:32:42🔗 Adam Yeah. Coney Allen. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. It's the best of Loveline. Oh, I hate to see it end, but we're going out on a positive note.

1:33:18🔗 Drew No, no, really, I hate to see it end, because that means we're closer to returning.

1:33:21🔗 Adam Actually being here. All right, I want to thank BAM, Majira and Seth MacFarlane, Tina Fey and Tim Meadows, and all the good folks, AFI, all of them for joining us, whether they like it or not, tonight. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:33:37🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the station.

1:33:49🔗 Adam The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:33:52🔗 Caller Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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