Wednesday, December 8, 2004

7:39🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew. Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. Drew and I had a little adventure last night on our way home from the studio.

7:55🔗 Drew I'd already forgotten completely about that.

7:57🔗 Adam I'm still seething.

7:58🔗 Drew Oh, I bet you are. Well, you got the worst end of that. I sort of made it out unscathed.

8:02🔗 Adam Yes. First, let me preface this thing by saying this. I am equally as angry at people who do nothing as people who actually do harm. I really am. The people who just sort of sit there. I'm talking about on the road. I'm not talking about homicides. But I'm talking about, there's a guy who is a horrible driver, and he's driving 52 in the left lane, and you're flashing the high beams, and he ain't moving. That's a bad guy. But then there's the guy who's just sort of cocked half sideways because he missed the turn, and he's trying to wedge himself into the lane and you're stuck behind him, and he ain't... You can go blow yourself.

8:47🔗 Drew Right, right.

8:47🔗 Adam Because he screwed up.

8:48🔗 Drew Well, the guys you dealt with last time was a combo of both.

8:51🔗 Adam Yes.

8:52🔗 Drew You got the fuck...

8:54🔗 Adam I was trapped between people that were...

8:56🔗 Drew Set the scene.

8:57🔗 Adam Okay. All right.

8:58🔗 Drew We had an adventure.

8:59🔗 Adam We had an adventure.

9:00🔗 Drew It was raining here in Los Angeles last time.

9:01🔗 Adam Yes. At least misting or drizzling.

9:04🔗 Drew It was wet on the freeways.

9:05🔗 Adam We were... And I use that, by the way, as an opportunity to make time. Because all the pussies are going 55. I got good tread on my tires. I'm doing 85. Everything's cool.

9:17🔗 Drew And we came whaling around a corner.

9:19🔗 Adam We're whaling on the 10 freeway.

9:21🔗 Drew It's that scene of Adam and I drive side by side home, talking on our cell phone.

9:26🔗 Adam Well, we're really...

9:26🔗 Drew It's great.

9:27🔗 Adam We're really like gay truckers. Because I'll go out on point. I'll spot a chip or, as we call them, Mounties. Not like mounted police, but because we'd like to mount them sexually. But anyway, maybe I said too much. We call them Mounties. Smokies, we'll call them too. And we'll go, well, Drew and I will talk on the cell phone, on the Ryan Holman. I'll go, yeah, there's a CHP guy coming up here. And I always like the... I like when we time it. Where are you? I'm on the 110. We're on the 110. I am crossing under the 8th Avenue, overpass, three, two, now. Like Drew's synchronizing his watch or something. So anyway, anything not to listen to John and Jeff, really, that's the bottom line. All right, so the point is, local radio. Point is, we come up on the 10, we're driving next to each other, we're coming on to the 110, going through downtown Los Angeles, the ramp is closed. The ramp between one freeway and the next freeway is closed.

10:33🔗 Drew They've shut it down.

10:34🔗 Adam They have shut it down.

10:35🔗 Drew Not closed, not like with a sign saying, avoid this R ramp.

10:37🔗 Oh, no.

10:40🔗 Adam No, because then you would in fact be able to avoid the off-ramp. And God knows, and people have heard this jag way too many times, but it can't be said enough, we have these multi-million dollar electronic freeway signs that never say anything unless some undocumented worker decides to take his daughter for a long weekend, in which case there's an amber alert on there, but has nothing to do with traffic. God forbid they should tell the taxpayers who are going a certain direction on one freeway and who the lion's share of will be transitioning on an x-ray. God forbid someone should type in that the ramp is closed. So we could all get off.

11:19🔗 Drew So CHP is there with their lights flashing, blocking you from... You can get on the ramp, you can't get off. So cars are piling up on the ramp by the hundreds now.

11:28🔗 Adam We're trapped on the ramp. Just waiting for the terrorist to strike, by the way. Drew and I have now coincidentally pulled up next to each other and are even considering rolling the windows down to have a conversation.

11:40🔗 Drew Watching people get out of the cars in front of us, walking around the freeway.

11:43🔗 Adam There's that impulse. Now here's the impulse I like. The guy who gets out of his car, who is too far away from the action to really find anything out, but wants to get out and go on a sort of miniature recon mission. It's sort of like you're going to get out, you're going to step up out of base camp, and you're going to go around, but just wide enough so you don't see the enemy. So the guys get out of the car, and by the way, it is a motley crew that is driving through.

12:09🔗 Drew These are people we drive with every night, mind you, because all the same people come home every night. It scared me last time.

12:14🔗 Adam It's a combination between just sort of drunk factory workers, third shifters, and the unemployable, just all climbing out of their cramp mobiles and having a little look-see. And by the way, none of them coming up with anything. They stand up, they walk three car lengths ahead, and then get frightened that something might happen while they're ahead, and then they back up again and get in their car and they sit down. Once in a while, they have a little conversation with each other, a little tard to tard. So, Drew, now-

12:42🔗 Drew Tard to tard?

12:43🔗 Adam Yeah, so what happens is, is people behind us start getting wise, because I think they must have closed the off-ramp off at a certain point. Behind us as well.

12:51🔗 Drew Because it wasn't piling up.

12:53🔗 Adam No more new cars at a certain point, no more cars coming on, and people start backing out.

12:58🔗 Drew There's an on-ramp, there's another on-ramp that was joining us, sort of merging with this, that you could back down and then find a way off. And people started doing that.

13:07🔗 Adam People started doing it. And of course, by the way, I love a break. I love a prison break. And I'm like a shark. I got to keep moving. I don't care if it's in a circle. I got to move.

13:17🔗 Drew So there's a break. But at that point, more cop cars start coming downstream to us. And they start yelling to their loudspeakers, don't even think about it. Get out of the way. And then California Highway Patrol, using the classic combined of the English language, go make a hole.

13:32🔗 Adam It was a chick, too. So it was somewhat erotic.

13:34🔗 Drew It was bizarre.

13:36🔗 Adam You get here, you're a speaker, like make a hole.

13:39🔗 Drew Make a hole? She wanted to separate, make way, so she could get through.

13:43🔗 Adam That's what they teach at the Academy, make a hole? I don't know, how about clear a path or getting away?

13:47🔗 Drew Clear a path, make way, something. Coming through.

13:49🔗 Adam It's this chick. I gotta go with Dyke on this one.

13:53🔗 Break a hole.

13:56🔗 Adam People, I need you to do... You know, they always talk to me, I need you to do for me right now, go ahead and make a hole, okay?

14:02🔗 Right now, okay? Make a hole. Make a hole? It was wild.

14:07🔗 Adam By the way, I thought, Barbara, what? A porthole in time that we could all slip through? This would be excellent.

14:13🔗 Drew But as a result of people shifting, now there was a lane that opened up.

14:16🔗 Adam Yeah, now she went by. But it was funny, she was yelling at people, don't even think about it. Don't, no.

14:21🔗 Drew Don't go the wrong way in the opera.

14:22🔗 Adam No, don't, you, you. And it's always great because the CHP, you know what it becomes like? It becomes like a pickup basketball game at a junior high court, like I'm going to take Nike shirt and Brillo hat and half shirt and tank top. You know, it's like blue Honda, no, blue, no, a cord. No, you don't even, Acura, don't even, to your right. Toyota Prius, don't even think about it. Silver Prius, Silver Prius. I'm wondering if people even know the color of the car at that point or what they're yelling at me.

14:53🔗 Drew So now people start backing up when she's gone.

14:55🔗 Adam She leaves, she goes by.

14:56🔗 Drew By the way, the payoff of the story.

14:57🔗 Adam Well, here's where I realized we were in trouble when the tow truck was behind her, because I realized, okay, something's going on up there. They're going to have to hitch up that thing and check it, check it twice. We might not be going anywhere for a while. So people start backing up and Drew, who I'm in communication with, is backing up and I'm watching him kind of navigate. Of course, people are angry, idiots, and retarded. So it makes a dangerous combination.

15:28🔗 Drew How dare you.

15:29🔗 Adam And can't drive. Yes. But everyone seems to have the same theme, which is we're going to back. It's an interesting, it's really like pushing something up your urethra, I imagine. It feels weird to back up on a freeway ramp that you've only been used.

15:43🔗 Drew Back into another on ramp that could have cars coming out.

15:47🔗 Adam Well, what are you going to do? Well, you got to save seven minutes, don't you? So what if you get t-boned by a fuel truck? You got to save time.

15:55🔗 Drew So I make it. I'm very assertive. I go for I make it.

15:57🔗 Adam Drew makes it. Now I got the, now I realize, all right, I'm making a break too. Course, I got the town car behind me.

16:05🔗 Drew I notice the town car. So when I pull out, this guy is pulling up.

16:09🔗 Adam He starts inching.

16:10🔗 Drew Starts inching up. Professional driver, doing an airport run.

16:13🔗 Adam A professional driver in the sense that he gets paid to drive, but not that you would mistake him for a good driver.

16:19🔗 Drew No, no.

16:19🔗 Adam So this human piece of excrement pulls up behind me and gets about eight inches behind me.

16:27🔗 Drew This is with him now putting his reverse lights on. It's obvious he's making a break too.

16:30🔗 Adam This, meanwhile, the car in front of me has two car lengths open in front of it, and it's not going anywhere.

16:37🔗 Drew He's not going to move.

16:38🔗 Adam And my plan is I have to maneuver my way onto the shoulder, which I'm right next to. We're in the right side, right line. And make my way to freedom. Unfortunately now, it's going to take a 26-point turn. It's essentially like trying to pull your car out of a parallel parking spot with two cars wedging away.

16:58🔗 Drew With the guy moving closer every time you move.

17:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

17:01🔗 Drew Like, I'll be damned if this guy's going anywhere.

17:02🔗 Adam The guy in me is driving an automatic and has the car going. All he's got to do is put it in reverse and inch back. There's no one behind him. He's got to inch back two feet and I'm fine. Or the a-hole in front of me has to just remove his foot from the brake and coast forward 18 inches. And I'm out of there. But instead, they both, of course, I'm driving the manual. So this guy's here in the grind and seeing the brake lights come on and then go off as I go in first gear and watching me do my 164-point turn. Meanwhile, he's got his lights on. It's drizzling. I'm trying to look out my back window. I'm in grave danger of making contact with that never in the in the whole transaction. Does he ever think for a second to move his car in reverse?

17:45🔗 Drew Now, you gotta say that what he was his way. His head was this effort. Not not going to be illegal.

17:50🔗 Adam That's what you say. I just say more animal than man. Just so goddamn stupid that you just you can't move.

17:57🔗 Drew You're paralyzed as I backed up. He and I locked eyeballs and he gave a little like, hey, this ain't going to happen again. You got by me, but the next one ain't come by. I get why I was so locked into that.

18:11🔗 Adam Wolf McQuade, who's going to make a stand. He's some sort of off-duty highway patrol guy who's been busted down to town car driver after some drug deal went bad and his partner got shot. He's going to make it all up by not moving. While the ace man tries to cling to freedom. So this a-hole just sits there while I do. And what is it? Listen, all you people. Your job is to move. You see somebody doing something you disapprove of, I don't give a rat's ass.

18:41🔗 Get out.

18:42🔗 Adam Just move. What's this guy think? He's going into the big house with me? Like, he's like, not only you going up the River Corolla, but your accomplice. The guy rolled six inches. He's going in two. That's called aiding and abetting. But throw away the key. What do you guys do? Have some sort of scam where you go town to town, waiting for off-ramps to be closed down so you can work in unison to get off the ramp? I've seen it a million times. You're both going down. You may get the death penalty for taking your foot off the goddamn car.

19:12🔗 Drew It's not in his eyes.

19:14🔗 Adam This old F. By the way, the guy had a great look, which is the silver old guy, Fro. It's a great look.

19:22🔗 Drew It's sort of the Brighter Frank. It's a little Brighter Frank.

19:25🔗 Adam Great look. And I've been screaming about it for years. What happened to town car drivers, especially in Los Angeles? When was the decree given that these guys couldn't drive a goddamn car?

19:37🔗 Drew And here's the comedy.

19:38🔗 Adam That they had to go 51 the whole...

19:39🔗 Drew He's still on the phone with me while he's pulling back this guy. And I have to hear all the expletives he's launching at this guy. You old F.

19:47🔗 What the F do you think?

19:48🔗 Drew I mean, it's just, I mean, just tirade. What'd the guy do at that point?

19:51🔗 Adam He just looked at me. He sort of thought I was a maniac.

19:55🔗 Drew You sounded like one.

19:56🔗 Adam Well, these people deserve the worst we can offer. You know what I mean? You gave it.

20:01🔗 Drew You did it. Congratulations. Well done.

20:03🔗 Adam Oh, listen, please. If you're, if you drive, if you're driving a black town car and you're fat and you're in your 60s and you have a silver fro that makes your wife want to kill herself, please do me a favor, drive that car off the pier and into the bay. Please roll the windows down, belt yourself in real good, put a cinder block in your old man under pants and just drive into the bay. Please do yourself a favor, do your family a favor, do your humanity a favor.

20:34🔗 Drew What is that?

20:36🔗 Adam Could you imagine what would it take for you to sit still while you saw a guy attempting to wiggle out of a parking place you wedged him into?

20:45🔗 Drew That, Engineer Michele, is what Adam talked to me about for the next Rest the Ride Home. What would it take?

20:51🔗 Adam It was such a, more animal than man!

20:54🔗 What would it take?

20:55🔗 Drew If I'd seen that, what would have to go on in me to make me edge my way up against this guy's ass?

21:03🔗 How much of a delay was it getting home?

21:06🔗 Drew The total time spent? We spent about extra 12 minutes on that. It could have been an hour easily.

21:11🔗 Adam Yeah, who knows? And listen, you word out to the Lemmings who sat there. Lemmings.

21:19🔗 Drew Everyone couldn't have gotten off.

21:20🔗 Adam Of course. Everyone's a pussy. Everyone's frozen. Everyone's stupid. This town has to be the dumbest town in the country. It really does. The worst drivers, the dumbest people, the most. They're just everyone's just frozen. Everyone just looks like, like, you know, everyone is just like a retard staring at their reflection in a spoon. You know, that's what this entire town is. Just feel like it's so crazy. It's either that or they're angry or I. What about the guy in front of me? He had two whole car lengths in front of him. He couldn't have just let his foot off the goddamn break and rolled forward four feet. What was he doing? He can't see in his rear view that the headlights are going every which way.

21:57🔗 Drew He was one of the guys who got out of his car.

21:59🔗 Wasn't he?

22:00🔗 Adam Yeah, obviously he had enough energy to get out. Maybe he tired himself getting out of the car so he couldn't remove his right foot from the break. Let's car roll forward.

22:08🔗 Oh, you idiots.

22:09🔗 Drew That was our adventure. Anyway, you idiots. Let's take some calls. Here we go.

22:13🔗 Adam Here we go.

22:14🔗 Drew Say we want to share it in our pain. Your pain in particular, I felt bad for you. My experience sort of triumphant actually.

22:20🔗 Adam Yeah.

22:20🔗 Drew I made a break.

22:22🔗 Adam Reverse was awesome. Yeah. Then there was another Asian idiot who was hanging halfway onto the shoulder that he wouldn't move either.

22:30🔗 Drew That was weird.

22:30🔗 Adam I had to thread the needle in reverse. I almost scraped myself on the concrete barrier.

22:35🔗 Drew I figure out what this guy was doing.

22:36🔗 Adam Actually wasn't enough that he didn't get out of the way. He actually stopped his car with the right side of it on the shoulder. That's the equivalent to like standing in line in a movie and holding your arm out in case anyone wanted to get past you.

22:50🔗 Drew It was when the CHP came to him and told him to make a hole. That's where he made the hole. Then he just stopped.

22:56🔗 Adam Yeah, it was great. He saw me for about 80 feet backing up the ramp trying to thread the needle. He never moved his car either. What is that? What is that?

23:06🔗 Drew You and I have none of it. Whatever it is, we don't know.

23:08🔗 Adam Please, can some of you start killing yourselves so we can enjoy our lives?

23:12🔗 Drew Here we go.

23:13🔗 Adam All right. And look, if you don't like driving, go take a job driving a town car. You understand? Don't do it.

23:21🔗 Stop.

23:22🔗 Adam Oh, my God, the town car, the drivers. I can't drive. I can't get a ride to the airport without...

23:27🔗 Drew I know.

23:28🔗 Adam Okay.

23:28🔗 Drew I know.

23:29🔗 Adam All right. Dan? Hello?

23:33🔗 Drew 28.

23:34🔗 Hi. Yeah, I have this question. Whenever I have sex with my girlfriend, after I ejaculate, this really bizarre smell forms between the two of us. And I was wondering what could be causing that.

23:46🔗 Drew You know...

23:48🔗 Adam How much stink math do you need to do?

23:52🔗 Drew Either of you by yourself? Is there anything?

23:54🔗 No.

23:54🔗 Drew No. Zero.

23:56🔗 Yes.

23:56🔗 Drew Nothing.

23:57🔗 Just the usual. Nothing terrible.

23:58🔗 Drew One thing that's sort of not appreciated very much is guys can have a little funkiness to their secretions. Oh, really? Yeah, they can. And you can mix that with the women's and it can make a little extra pungency. So, it doesn't have to mean anything, Dan. It just could be your chemistry going together. Obviously, if she has a smell by herself, it's something you worry about infection. If you have a smell that's bad by yourself, we also worry about infection. But together, there can be some unique chemistry. Okay.

24:26🔗 Well, it just apparently lingers for like, you know, the next day or so and she's really, you know, bizarre and I work about it and.

24:33🔗 Adam No way.

24:34🔗 Drew Yes. Really? I wondered if that was some sort of, when people complain about this kind of thing, if it's something primitive, you know, some marking territory. Yeah, at one point of human evolution that served some sort of function. But not no more. No.

24:50🔗 Adam No. Nothing, all that stuff, you know, the hair on the ass, smelly pits, the, what do you got? We got your, what don't you need in there? Your appendix, your nipples, your nipples. You could do without them.

25:05🔗 Drew Oh, but not you, though. I forgot.

25:06🔗 Adam Oh, I'm sensitive. Yeah.

25:08🔗 Drew Sorry.

25:09🔗 Adam I like a little nipple.

25:10🔗 Drew I know.

25:11🔗 Adam That's me. Let me ask you and the engineer, Michelle, a question. I talked to a lesbian a few hours ago. All right. She said, oh, yes, lesbians, they like gay erotica, male gay erotica. I said, are you sure about that? Because it makes guys red. She said, oh, no, me and all my lesbian friends. We enjoy watching gay porn.

25:36🔗 Drew Interesting.

25:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Shelly, any thoughts on that?

25:39🔗 Caller I have never seen gay male porn, honestly.

25:42🔗 Adam Let me. Okay. This is a good point because I started thinking, wait a minute. Now, first off, I've never heard of it.

25:49🔗 Drew No.

25:49🔗 Adam And then secondly, she's like, oh, ask around.

25:52🔗 Drew Well, it's her friends again. That's like your sister saying that everyone's gay because she worked in a silver like hair salon. Yes. 80 percent of men are gay.

25:59🔗 Adam Just about 80 percent of planet was gay. Listen, either me, dad or grandpa's blowing guys. Is that what's going on?

26:05🔗 Drew You're a lesbian.

26:06🔗 Adam Please. How dare you? 80 percent. Look, the Corollas aren't smart. They're really not. They're not intelligent.

26:13🔗 Drew It's not about a trait. Okay.

26:15🔗 Adam Here's the thing. I said, well, wait a minute. Why would lesbians want to watch gay-ironica, male-gay-ironica? And then I couldn't think about it, and it didn't make sense, and didn't jive. And then I realized, think about this. Half the lesbians are lesbians because they're lesbians, and the other half are lesbians because they hate men.

26:34🔗 Drew Because they're brutalized by men.

26:36🔗 Adam Brutalized by men. Now, they can see men being degraded. A little payback. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? It's degrading. And a lot of the turn on for heterosexual porn for a lot of the guys is the degrading part.

26:53🔗 Drew Women being degraded.

26:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

26:54🔗 Drew See, I have zero of that in me, so I can't even like...

26:58🔗 Adam I know, but why do you think all that... What do you think guys got to finish in hair?

27:03🔗 Drew Yeah, that's...

27:04🔗 Adam You know what I mean? If that, they would just do it on a paper plate nearby. That's what I do. Put this plate on. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You don't want to do it on the china.

27:17🔗 Drew The fancy plastic ones or the paper?

27:18🔗 Adam Not the china stuff. Not the china. Although I find that just the cheap, you know, just off-brand stuff, when you carry it, you got to slide your hand under it because you're scrapping the brim. It'll taco halfway.

27:30🔗 Caller Unless you get the styrofoam ones.

27:32🔗 Adam Yeah, the styrofoam ones were cracked. They didn't crack. No, my stuff will burn through the styrofoam stuff. Yeah, it's like dropping marionic acid on it. Yeah, I'm like alien. It'll go through the second floor of the house down to the basement.

27:47🔗 Drew Here we go, take another golf.

27:48🔗 Adam It's coming up from the carpet. That's the noise it makes. It's alien, Drew. All right, so the lesbians who like the gay erotica like it because they get to see guys humiliated and they're not fans of guys.

28:02🔗 Drew We need to talk to some women that have had that experience to try to hear from them. It makes sense, but I...

28:08🔗 Adam This particular lesbo said to me, you know, I even like guys sexually, but I can't stay in them as people. And that's why I can't do it. Yeah, she's got issues. So of course she likes seeing a guy getting cornhole. You see what I'm saying?

28:23🔗 Drew I have a feeling it may be something more in the order of she likes seeing men having sex, but you bring in a woman to the mix and all of her feelings get evoked again.

28:31🔗 Adam I'm telling you, half the guys who watch porn do it.

28:34🔗 Drew Why do you think? I hear you. I hear you. I can't relate at all, which I'm almost disturbing that I can't even get any of it.

28:41🔗 Adam What is wrong with you, Drew? You're just purely passionate, there's nothing deviant in you at all. It's all passion. You're pure passion.

28:51🔗 Drew Pure.

28:52🔗 Adam You're 100% passion.

28:53🔗 Drew White with a driven snow.

28:55🔗 Adam So if we melted you down and took you to a lab, it would just be 199.999% passion and like one pub.

29:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

29:04🔗 Adam Okay.

29:06🔗 Drew That's why I can't relate to this other stuff.

29:08🔗 Adam Well, don't judge. You can't judge.

29:10🔗 Drew I can't judge.

29:11🔗 Adam Josh?

29:12🔗 Yeah.

29:13🔗 Adam You're 18?

29:14🔗 Caller Yep.

29:15🔗 Adam What's that?

29:18🔗 Caller When I was born, I had one of my testicles basically inside of me.

29:25🔗 Adam All right.

29:27🔗 Drew A nondescented testicle, that's called.

29:29🔗 Caller Right.

29:29🔗 Caller Yeah. They retrieved it.

29:32🔗 Caller Right.

29:34🔗 Caller I was wondering if that could have an effect on my penis site.

29:39🔗 Drew No. The reason they retrieve it is that if they leave it up, there can become cancerous. If you had both of them up, it could have an effect on how much testosterone you produce. But having one of them up there really shouldn't.

29:51🔗 All right.

29:52🔗 Drew And therefore, it shouldn't affect the penis size.

29:54🔗 All right.

29:55🔗 Caller All right.

29:57🔗 Drew Take a break.

29:58🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:59🔗 Drew What do you want to go off about now?

30:00🔗 Adam Now, I was just thinking about paper plates. And I was thinking I was over at Kimmel today and I walked into the kitchen. And again, as I've described, we are in this kitchen here at Loveline over at K-Rock here. We're the microwave. We're one step away from just people just defecating into the microwave, just actually flipping it on its back and using it as a portable toilet.

30:24🔗 Drew They would never do that because then they couldn't actually heat it up and enjoy the fecal matter, exposing us to the cooked fecal matter, try to cook our food after having exposed it.

30:33🔗 Adam I realize that people at the communal kitchen, whether it's over at Kimmel or over here at K-Rock, it is if, if you were doing a movie where you're about, about a funkified microwave, the director would say, no, that's over the top, reel it in a little bit.

30:50🔗 Drew I tell you where I saw the most extreme sort of version of that as it pertains to the, not just the kitchen, but the bathroom too, tends to, it tends to spill into the bathroom with the same behavior. Was it the Man Show production office?

31:00🔗 Adam Oh, wow.

31:01🔗 Drew I mean, I walked in there, and the urinals, you know, the latrines you stand in front of, about 40 snot rockets, right? At eye level.

31:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:10🔗 Drew Eye level. They've been like some sort of competition to try to accumulate them on the wall.

31:16🔗 Adam That, there was one bathroom for the entire second and third floor of the Man Show.

31:22🔗 Drew This is actually when you used to be on the first floor where the cross from Stone's Hill.

31:25🔗 Adam Oh, right. Oh, that was bad too.

31:26🔗 That was bad.

31:28🔗 Drew Yeah. Then the food, the food range from the basic food groups of graham cracker and peanut butter to M&Ms. It was all that was there. And then old, like...

31:36🔗 Adam A lot of damage in that place. Yeah, a lot of guys blowing snot rockets into the latrine.

31:41🔗 Drew No, no flushing toilets? No, no, we will not have that.

31:43🔗 Adam Well, here's what I wanted to say about the paper plates is I went over to the sixth floor kitchen over at Kimmel tonight. Bowls of homemade beef stew, by the way, which I thought, well, this guy's got some old lady's dynamite. But they're both popping and exploding and bubbling over. And I had to go stop the thing, go get the guys, like, hey, Weisenheimer, go put a paper plate or something on that thing. And then I realized there's no paper plates, really. There's nothing around and you don't want to put a, you don't want to, you don't want to pay, but the paper towel sits on top and soaks everything up. You know, somebody's got to get a microwave cover and it's got to be like disposable. There's got to be a liner. It's got to have a couple of legs on it or something. And just put them next to the kitchen. Yeah, put them in there and put it on a tether because someone's going to eat it or take it home or, you know, rape it or something. But the point is, you've got to keep the carrots off the roof of the thing. Yeah?

32:41🔗 Drew Absolutely.

32:42🔗 All right.

32:42🔗 Adam Am I right?

32:43🔗 Drew Let's think about that one.

32:44🔗 Adam Let's work on it. Let's work on it.

32:46🔗 All right.

32:46🔗 Adam We're going to take a quick break. Be right back after this.

32:50🔗 Thank you for calling Loveline.

32:51🔗 Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

32:56🔗 Call 1-800-LOVE-191.

33:00🔗 Adam Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. We're talking a little about pornography while we're taking a wee-wee. And Drew, such pure passion, even with porn. Yeah.

33:17🔗 Drew Sad.

33:19🔗 Adam I always feel weird when I disagree with you because I find you to be healthy. And Drew, Drew was explaining to me while I was trying to blast the snot rocket off the urinal with my urine. He was like, Oh, guys, when they watch porn, they, they, they wish they didn't want to see the guy. They wish it was just a, just a penis.

33:41🔗 Drew For the most part, I'm just saying, they don't need a guy in the mix.

33:45🔗 Adam And also said, most guys who watch porn wish it was their POV, their point of view. So it's like, you're looked down, you see your junk.

33:56🔗 Drew That's not really what I meant.

33:57🔗 Adam No?

33:57🔗 Drew Oh, really? What do you mean? I just meant that you didn't need a guy. You didn't need to actually have a guy. You just need a camera behaving like, you know what I mean?

34:07🔗 Adam Yeah, but I like it.

34:08🔗 Drew You like the guy?

34:09🔗 Adam Yeah. Call me old fashioned.

34:12🔗 Drew You know what part of that is that got etched into your brain at critical development?

34:15🔗 Adam Yeah, but I think there's a voyeurism part of it that guys like. It's hard to do the voyeurism when you're in the room.

34:23🔗 Drew You're absolutely right. That men, they've actually shown that anthropologically, people, both sexes have sort of voyeuristic tendency. You're right. You're right.

34:30🔗 Adam Also, I've been accused and criticized, accused of being a weirdo and criticized for having to power my way through the entire porn, make sure I'm not missing anything.

34:40🔗 Drew And then find the good stuff.

34:41🔗 Adam Want to go back to the good. When you think I have low self-esteem, going to the crappy part. I like the beginning part where the chick's talking to the phone and diddling herself. Thank God you call. What's going on? Am I supposed to believe these women are actually hot and naked when you call them? You're so hot. Their take is, you've done them a favor. First off, they're 19, they're blonde, they're new-bile, they're hot. They can't find a guy to satisfy them. So thank goodness you called. Thank God the fat bald factory worker called from his mom's basement.

35:20🔗 Drew How retarded are men? How retarded are men? How?

35:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Now, the reality is, is you got yourself a thick-ankled lesbian who's smoking one of those more cigarettes and building a ship in a bottle while she's talking to you. So hot. I even like the part where then the guy enters and she's like doing stuff to him and she's talking to you on the phone. You're like, oh, you're so hot. And there's a penis in her mouth and it's like, whoa, are you cheating on me, bitch?

35:53🔗 Drew Jerry Mahoney?

35:54🔗 Adam Who is that? Yeah, but who's this guy you're blowing? You're talking to me. Is that supposed to be me? I'm at home.

36:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:03🔗 Adam I don't go for that. No way.

36:05🔗 Drew You're a purist.

36:06🔗 Caller No way.

36:07🔗 Adam And then the beginning of the porn movies, they show like the Lincoln Monument.

36:13🔗 Caller Really?

36:14🔗 Adam And they have the flag waving. And yeah, they're like, oh yeah, no, no, no. We're patriots. Sure.

36:20🔗 Drew I guarantee you, this is what the founding fathers had in mind.

36:23🔗 Adam We're patriots with bad rugs and who have sex with our stepdaughters, but patriots. Nonetheless. Sure, we drive custom vans, but we are patriots. That's right. Pioneers, patriots and Americans. Yes, Drew?

36:38🔗 Drew Daniel Boone.

36:39🔗 Adam All right.

36:40🔗 Yeah.

36:41🔗 Caller All right.

36:41🔗 Adam Let's keep it. Let's keep on keeping on. Yeah. The beginning part of the movie is the best part.

36:46🔗 Caller Really?

36:46🔗 Adam Yeah. Sometimes, and now with the thing with the DVD, it won't let you go through it.

36:51🔗 Drew Oh, is that right?

36:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:52🔗 Adam You do that fast forward thing and it'll bargain.

36:54🔗 Caller No, no.

36:55🔗 Drew Is that right?

36:56🔗 Adam You're going to watch the chicks blowing the guy talking to you on the phone, then we'll get to it. Yeah.

37:02🔗 Drew That's incredible.

37:03🔗 Adam Yeah. Because they want you fast forwarding.

37:04🔗 Drew Right. The advertisements. Yeah. And the patriotism.

37:08🔗 Adam Right.

37:11🔗 Hi.

37:12🔗 Adam You're 19?

37:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:14🔗 Adam What's up?

37:15🔗 Caller Okay. I don't know if I should break up with my boyfriend or not. If I'm just sabotaging myself because he's a really good guy, or if it's not the right thing for me to be in the relationship. Because I have had some stuff in my past with some abuse when I was younger, and I just have a hard time being in relationships with guys.

37:36🔗 Drew Tell us about this current guy.

37:38🔗 Caller He's a really good guy. The only thing is that I think he kind of sets me when he smokes too much or drinks too much. I think I drink too much. I'm a freshman in college, but the other night he got high and he told me he loved me. We've been hooking up all semester, but we've only been dating now for about three weeks, and it's just really freaked me out.

37:58🔗 Drew I bet.

37:59🔗 Adam Well, he got high and he said he loved you.

38:02🔗 Caller Three weeks is a long time.

38:03🔗 Drew He said that to Brian when he got high.

38:05🔗 Caller Well, I mean, I know he thought he did because he was high.

38:12🔗 Drew Let's stay away from that for a second. Let's get more into what it is that prevents you from staying in a relationship where somebody actually does care about you and wants to be close to you. Now, not uncommon for a lot of 19-year-olds to push that away, and in a certain extent, that's kind of protective so you don't get joined at the hip with somebody that you really don't want to be with. On the other hand, you know you've been abused, you know you have abandonment issues, you know it's tough for you to be close and intimate. Here's an opportunity for you to try to sort of overcome some of those things. What do you think?

38:40🔗 Caller I, that's why I'm afraid to break up with him because I kind of know all those things. But at the same time, I'm just like, I don't feel like we talk enough. I don't know, I don't think I'm ever going to be liking as much as he likes me.

38:52🔗 Drew Right. And to be fair to him, it would probably would be reasonable to break up. And I just talk to you.

38:58🔗 Adam There may be a little number disparity.

39:00🔗 Drew There's something wrong with this relationship. And you try to force it.

39:03🔗 Adam Sam, you're hot?

39:06🔗 Caller I'm pretty good looking.

39:07🔗 Adam Yeah. And you know you're hot. I mean, when you're 19 and you're a very attractive girl, you understand that you're holding the cards, you got the goods, whatever other cliché you want to insert. And when you're 19, 20 year old guy, even if you're a good looking guy, you just, it doesn't matter. You're just going to college. You don't have any money. You know what I mean?

39:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:30🔗 Adam Yeah. And don't worry. The life has a way of evening out the playing field later on somewhere around. Drew, when do people, when do guys and women cross?

39:42🔗 Drew 28 to 34.

39:43🔗 Adam Yeah. In the, in the like hot 19 year old chick. I mean, she could be that you did you can be, you should be dating a producer and going to con this year and hanging out on the guys. Yeah. I mean, that's what a 19 year old, whereas 19, 20 year old guy, the best looking 19, 20 year old guy works at a market. I mean, it's weird with guys like there's, there's great looking guys that just have jobs and just security guard, construction worker, just nothing, got zero. Even a, even a chick, a chick who's moderately hot can still use her hotness and to some degree in her work. Like you get a job as a receptionist at a nice law firm where they want a hot chick up there and you're getting more than you should because you know, you're not a model. But you get, or you get, get a receptionist, a bartender, some greeter, something like that, a restaurant, still get to make a few bucks off the looks. Good-looking guys just be cleaning a flu's grease out of a restaurant flu. Yes. Look at me, Drew. I clean carpets with this face.

40:44🔗 Drew That's a cash register I'm looking at.

40:46🔗 Adam Right here. You're looking in the register. You want change? I stick my tongue out.

40:51🔗 Drew Oh my God, 10 bucks. Yeah. It's awesome.

40:53🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. So she's hot. She knows it.

40:58🔗 Drew But don't you get the real sense that it just doesn't mesh here. At 19, you really don't know what you want. Sam, I think the best advice to you is to kind of slow it down. Don't go hooking up with a lot of guys. Don't get joined at the hip with anybody because you're going to be attracted to guys that are not so good for you. Just take it slow and easy. Just take it slow and easy. Don't feel obliged to stay in relationships you don't want to be in. But if you find one that does feel right, it does feel good, but you're inclined to sabotage, don't. That's not what we're talking about here. This one just isn't clicking. You just doesn't feel right to you. All right.

41:30🔗 Adam How old is?

41:31🔗 Caller I've been listening to you guys since I was in 6th grade and I adore you both.

41:34🔗 Adam Thanks, baby doll.

41:36🔗 Drew Adam's got a cash register for a face.

41:38🔗 Caller It's amazing.

41:39🔗 Adam It is the cash register. And let me say this too, Drew. I'd rather have one hot chick into me than a thousand pigs.

41:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:49🔗 Drew That's disgusting.

41:50🔗 Adam It really is. I know. They're so ugly.

41:52🔗 Drew No, I mean-

41:53🔗 Adam No, I agree. Let's keep moving.

41:55🔗 Drew What made you say that?

41:56🔗 Adam You rarely say that, Drew.

41:57🔗 Drew What made you say that?

41:58🔗 Adam I agree with you for a change.

42:00🔗 I think the show is complete crap. I think you guys are pigs. You need to get the hell off the air.

42:04🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:05🔗 Drew You haven't had one of those guys a long time.

42:06🔗 Adam Yeah. Where are those guys?

42:08🔗 Drew It's charming.

42:08🔗 Adam We welcome those guys too, by the way.

42:10🔗 Drew They're entertaining.

42:11🔗 Adam Yeah. No, Drew, you know I'm right. You'd rather have one smoking hot chick into you than a hundred ugly chicks or a thousand ugly chicks.

42:20🔗 Am I right?

42:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:22🔗 Drew No, I can't say that that clear for me.

42:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:25🔗 Drew I know what you're talking about. I just know what you're talking about. But I, I, hmm.

42:31🔗 Adam One? Just one Victoria's Secret model in to you, as opposed to a thousand, a thousand big haunchy truck driving women. Yeah? A million. It doesn't matter. You know what I'm saying?

42:46🔗 Drew Because the, I understand.

42:48🔗 Adam Because a thousand, a thousand.

42:50🔗 Drew If I were 20, I would agree with you.

42:52🔗 Adam A thousand threes don't add up to a nine. You know what I'm saying?

42:56🔗 Drew You're just saying. But if I were 20, I'd agree with you. Now I'm not.

43:00🔗 Adam You take the army of ugly chicks?

43:02🔗 Drew No, I'm not taking anything.

43:03🔗 Adam What would you use them for, like yard work and stuff?

43:04🔗 Drew All right, let's keep going. Just take William real quick.

43:06🔗 Adam All right. Make up like a big pyramid out of them or something. You have to go out to dinner with a thousand of them together. One of those huge stretch hummers to get around in. His wives are all ugly, but he's got a ton of them. That's sort of what they do. That's what they do in Utah, really. All those polygamist guys like. Collect them. Yeah. What do I got? Well, I got 19 wives. They average 2.72. Really, not a three in the batch, but I got 18 of them, 140 kids. Sure. We're taking government assistance, but we don't want the government to tell us how to live our lives.

43:43🔗 Drew Right.

43:43🔗 Adam Yeah. Although we need a few bucks. Yeah.

43:45🔗 Drew It did not work both ways.

43:47🔗 Adam That's right.

43:47🔗 Drew Thank you. William.

43:52🔗 Adam Oh, he hung up. That was a bogus call, Drew.

43:55🔗 Drew Deep husky?

43:58🔗 Adam Maybe he was using a name.

44:00🔗 Drew See if he's still there.

44:01🔗 Adam No, he hung up. You didn't hear him hang up?

44:04🔗 Drew It sounded like he hung up, but I was-

44:05🔗 Adam Well, why would he be there if it sounded like he hung up? Now he's really gone.

44:09🔗 Drew Yeah, he's gone.

44:10🔗 Adam Drew, do you have to get back to people that insult you?

44:12🔗 I think this show is complete crap. I think you guys are pigs. You need to get the hell off the air.

44:17🔗 Adam Oh, hold on, too bad he didn't leave his address. Drew would have sent him over a fruit basket.

44:21🔗 Drew All right, take a break.

44:22🔗 Adam Yeah, let's do that. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

44:28🔗 Thank you for calling Loveline.

44:30🔗 Caller Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

44:33🔗 Adam Call Loveline. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Next week, Sum 41, the Donnas, Papa Roach. Good lineup tomorrow. I should say next week. All right, Drew, you ready to keep on keeping on? I am.

45:01🔗 Drew We're going to keep on keeping on with a Germany or Florida.

45:04🔗 Adam My favorite new game. Yeah. I'm 0 for 3 now. Am I not?

45:10🔗 Drew Yeah, you're in a slump, a serious slump. You should not have stopped the steroids. You shouldn't have.

45:15🔗 Adam I crossed Drew last night too. I went to Germany just really because he went Florida.

45:21🔗 Drew No, you crossed me. You delivered the answer.

45:23🔗 Adam You convinced the answer. I said Florida, three syllables into the question or into the statement, and then I switched to Germany.

45:30🔗 Drew Bad move. All right.

45:32🔗 Adam Well, let's see if we can straighten it out tonight. Michael?

45:35🔗 Drew Yes.

45:36🔗 Adam You're 19?

45:37🔗 Caller Hello Adam Carolla, I'm Dr. Drew. First time. Long time point that was a pretty good idea about the junk being your own junk. How are you gentlemen this evening?

45:48🔗 Adam Wow. The guy's got one of those voice pods.

45:51🔗 Caller Wow.

45:52🔗 Adam Now, you get that when you get like a trach operation or-

46:02🔗 Caller Are you guys ready for German of your Florida?

46:05🔗 Drew One second.

46:06🔗 Adam Hold on. Yes. Hold on.

46:08🔗 Drew He's just rolling with it.

46:09🔗 Adam Hold on, Sultar.

46:11🔗 Caller Everybody who has Mac can do that.

46:13🔗 Drew But he answered. Oh, hey, hi guys. And then the robot.

46:16🔗 Adam I don't care.

46:17🔗 Drew I like it. You like the effort. All right.

46:19🔗 Adam This kid's got moxie, bro. You understand that?

46:22🔗 Drew All right. Let's hear it. So basically, they did his clicks on the sentence and it reads it.

46:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:29🔗 Adam You know what I put on that paper plate? Moxie. That's what I call it. Michael.

46:35🔗 Caller All right. A man and woman were arrested for child abuse and neglect after they were found spreading feces on their children's bodies. The police have arrested the couple in charges of child neglect and abuse. They said they performed the bizarre ritual because it recorded to the Bible of state communism. Is it Germany or Florida? I am a huge fan of Michelle, by the way. Grab a knee. That gentleman is not a chair. Grab a knee.

47:02🔗 Drew That gentleman is not a chair. Grab a knee.

47:04🔗 Adam Oh, okay. That's good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. No, your helmet.

47:09🔗 Drew He said that gentleman is not a chair. Yeah.

47:12🔗 Adam No, no. You say your helmet is not a chair. Grab a knee.

47:15🔗 Drew Gentleman.

47:16🔗 Adam Gentleman. I use that term loosely.

47:20🔗 Drew I'm in love with Michael.

47:21🔗 Adam I am too.

47:22🔗 Drew Smitten. I couldn't hear what he said. It was consistent with a Biblical reference.

47:28🔗 Adam Biblical thing.

47:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

47:29🔗 Adam Let's see if... Michael, can you clarify? Pot yourself up again.

47:37🔗 Caller Look at Stephen Hawking.

47:39🔗 Drew Hold on, Michael. All right. Try that again.

47:43🔗 Go ahead.

47:45🔗 Adam Uh-oh, Michael Samson. What did he say?

47:49🔗 Drew Again?

47:49🔗 Caller Bible of Satanism.

47:51🔗 Drew Bible of Satanism.

47:52🔗 Adam Bible of Satanism. I think you made a free hand at that one. All right. Bible of Satanism.

48:00🔗 Drew Therefore, we cannot judge. How dare you? How can you arrest these people? How can you do that?

48:04🔗 Adam And listen...

48:04🔗 Drew It's their religious belief. It's a free country.

48:06🔗 Adam Let me give a...

48:07🔗 Drew Religious expression, freedom of religious expression.

48:09🔗 Adam Let me give a quick heads up to all the Christians and Catholics and Jehovah's Witness and Jews and Muslims out there. Your kooky religion, if that's in fact going to be taken seriously, then you're going to have to take the Santorians and the Church of Satan's and the Scientologists, all the other nutjob religions, just as valid as your kooky religion. So always remember that. Always remember that these guys are killing chickens out in the field just makes just as much sense as your nutjob religion.

48:47🔗 Drew Thank you.

48:47🔗 Adam And happy Hanukkah, by the way.

48:49🔗 Drew I think I have a case where people are advocating religious freedoms, you think, United States, I think Florida. However, Martin Luther, German, a lot of a defiant.

48:58🔗 Adam Not the black one. Yeah. Yeah.

49:00🔗 Drew The original one.

49:01🔗 Adam Right. So so what about it does feel German with the fecal matter?

49:06🔗 Drew I'm going Florida.

49:07🔗 Adam Go Florida. I'm going Germany.

49:08🔗 Drew Let's go, Michael. Right.

49:10🔗 Adam Michelle goes Florida, too.

49:12🔗 Caller Michael, it certainly is Germany. Oh, yeah.

49:17🔗 Drew He's back.

49:17🔗 Caller He's back. And you please play the bag. It's better run drop for Germany or floor the roadblock.

49:23🔗 Drew The which one?

49:26🔗 Caller And you please play the bag. It's better run drop for Germany or floor the roadblock.

49:32🔗 Drew Can we please play the run spot?

49:34🔗 Adam Yeah. Maybe once you hear the theme song.

49:37🔗 Caller I think he wants his theme song to be played.

49:39🔗 Drew Oh, has he got one for us? Oh, we'd love to hear it if he's got one now.

49:42🔗 Caller I Michael, I have a mason jar. I have a mason jar.

49:50🔗 Adam We haven't heard that one in a while.

49:52🔗 Drew Long time. He's 19.

49:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:55🔗 Drew We haven't had a mason jar joke in about three years.

49:58🔗 Adam No, it's been a while. I miss them.

50:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:01🔗 Drew We used to have people call and would give eloquent bogus calls. They would drag us into something.

50:08🔗 Adam Right.

50:09🔗 Drew Within two and a half minutes, would come up with a punch line or some extreme building towards something and what they'd build always towards was she had an ass out of a mason jar.

50:21🔗 Adam It's nice. Right. Can't say the whole word or something. The point is, is that's how they would finish it.

50:29🔗 Drew That was their punch line. Let us know that it was.

50:30🔗 Adam And I always hated those guys. And then it turned out it was my line that was lifted. I think somebody told me, and then I felt better. I thought, wow, clever. First, I was like, grow up, you get a thesaurus, you juvenile retards. And I was like, that was your line, Adam. Oh, dry, witty. You ready to rock here, Drew?

50:56🔗 Drew Let's go. Brian.

50:58🔗 Brian.

51:00🔗 Drew 18. What's up? Brian. Caller who goes by Brian? Yes. Here we are.

51:06🔗 Caller Go. Here we are.

51:08🔗 Caller Hello.

51:09🔗 Adam All right. I'm going to cut our losses and speak to one.

51:12🔗 Drew No, no, no. One.

51:14🔗 Adam One. What about this Mary? She's been on hold for 70 minutes. Mary?

51:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:19🔗 Adam You're 18?

51:20🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

51:21🔗 Adam What's up, baby doll?

51:23🔗 Caller Um, when me and my boyfriend have sex more than three times in a day, you know, I get kind of sore and then I smell terrible for like the duration or well, for as long as I'm sore, I smell terrible.

51:39🔗 Drew That's interesting.

51:40🔗 I was wondering if that's like normal or what's going on with that?

51:45🔗 Drew That's a new one for me. I just wonder if there isn't probably perhaps an infection already underway that just for whatever reason sort of is more accessible when you're irritated like that.

51:55🔗 Adam It turns into a festering wound between your legs.

52:00🔗 Drew A, don't abuse your vagina. Do what feels good to you and that's enough. B, go get a pelvic exam to get cultured to see if there's an infection.

52:07🔗 Caller Yeah, I should probably do that.

52:08🔗 Drew Yeah, you probably should.

52:09🔗 Caller I have another question too.

52:10🔗 Adam 20 times a day.

52:12🔗 Drew What's your question?

52:12🔗 Adam Or more.

52:14🔗 Yeah, maximum five.

52:16🔗 Caller Thank you.

52:16🔗 Adam What goes on? Does your boyfriend have a job?

52:19🔗 Caller Yeah, at a porn store.

52:21🔗 Caller Really? Oh boy.

52:23🔗 Adam Oh, he's got to test the vibrators out before he sells them, right?

52:27🔗 Caller You can track open the package and look at them.

52:30🔗 Adam Yeah, they got to put the batteries in them and buzz them.

52:33🔗 Caller Yeah, we've done that.

52:34🔗 Caller I've hung out there before.

52:35🔗 Adam Yeah, they got to. Because otherwise, no returns. Read the sign.

52:39🔗 Caller Yeah, there's no returns.

52:41🔗 Caller The ones like in the middle of town do.

52:45🔗 Adam Right, no butt plugs.

52:46🔗 Drew We're not going to take a break.

52:47🔗 Adam Drew, have we got a discount butt plug bin?

52:49🔗 Drew No, no.

52:50🔗 Adam We're going to get some deals over there.

52:51🔗 Drew That's nice. Binzo plugs?

52:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

52:55🔗 Drew Plugs are planning.

52:56🔗 Adam I had our neighbor, our neighbor dropped off a whole bucket of stuff.

52:59🔗 Drew Oh, I'm going to be told about that after the break.

53:01🔗 Adam Remind me to tell that story, Drew. All right, all that after this. She'll give me a pow, give me the finger.

53:44🔗 Caller Oh yeah, I got it.

53:45🔗 Adam I know I'm looking at you. I can see her.

53:47🔗 Drew Well, you couldn't miss that one, it was a flying finger.

53:50🔗 Adam Boom, gave me the flying finger on the air. Now we gotta go close up on the VU meters. Boom, boom. Yeah, now you know you're in radio. What's going on? Get it on, everybody. Woo, get it on. Gotta get it on. Got no choice but to get it on. It's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Next week, we're gonna have some 41 in here, the Donnas and Papa Chubby, or as you know them, Papa Roach. So, Drew, we're talking butt plugs before we left. I was gonna mention to you that my first apartment in North Hollywood, where I lived with the Whees and a rotating cast of roommates, three guys in a one-bedroom, our downstairs landlord, not the guy who owned the building, but the guy who managed the building.

54:39🔗 Drew The groundskeeper.

54:40🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, we took his job very seriously. Al. Al wore a windbreaker. Al was 50-something, had a hair slick back. Al walked around with that hose. Al packed a piece too. Oh, yes. And Al had his dog Skipper. Mangiest little mutt you ever saw in your life. And Al used to just stand. He'd be on the lawn. He'd be, he had a, he had one of those foam Olympia beer koozies that was, you know, this kind of thing that makes it one camping trip and then it gets lost or crushed. He had, this is like 28 years old, like it has hand print in it. It would just be parked down on the lawn watering. It was Skipper every day when I pulled up. Al had a guy clear out of the unit next to ours. Turned out the guy was some sort of deviant. And Al had to go in there and clean up. Al got a cache of butt plugs and novelty size dildos, things with cranks on it. Immediately brought it over to our place. It was weird because Al was like one of your dad's friends. You know, it was like, huh? The guy looked like he was from the 50s with the windbreaker on. And all of a sudden, big box of dildos.

55:51🔗 Drew You guys might be needing these.

55:53🔗 Adam He assumed if anyone in the building could make any use of it, it would be us. And we immediately just picked them up and start smacking each other over the head with them.

56:01🔗 Drew And it's like it's like throwing them into a cage of chimpanzees.

56:04🔗 Adam Yeah, literally. Yeah.

56:05🔗 Drew And we the feces start going.

56:07🔗 Adam Oh, I had my female friend, Janey, put the strap on on and started chasing me around. At a certain point, I was laughing so hard, I fell over. She jumped on top of me, so began raping me.

56:20🔗 Drew That's scary.

56:21🔗 Adam It was I did more than scared.

56:23🔗 Drew Well, first you crap yourself.

56:24🔗 Adam I orgasm. But I think that was a fear reaction, Drew. I really do. I really feel that. I think, Drew, if you get scared enough, am I, won't certain animals orgasm if they're, if they're frightened enough, like if a deer's in a highway and a logging truck comes out, it'll orgasm, right?

56:44🔗 Drew Of course.

56:44🔗 Adam I'm just assuming it was a fear reaction.

56:47🔗 Drew Yes.

56:48🔗 Adam I don't believe it was homoerotic in any way.

56:51🔗 Drew Well, the fear was a girl chasing you with a penis.

56:53🔗 Adam Yes, that's right. That's right. It was. You're goddamn right. It was a chick. So yeah, that was strange. Yeah. No, I was obviously completely, I was paralyzed with laughter and fear and it was a very strange, very strange moment because she had that big 80s hair too, you know, was raping me with this strap on.

57:18🔗 Drew I'm sure it's a proud moment for her.

57:19🔗 Adam We made it immediately, just grabbed.

57:21🔗 Drew What is her whole name, full name? Just so we could appreciate what this young lady did that day.

57:27🔗 Adam Yeah. I get myself enough trouble with her once a day. I mean, there's only a handful of Janies out there.

57:32🔗 Drew That knew you.

57:33🔗 Adam We would, yeah, we would, we would grab, we'd grab these butt plugs and throw them in and stuff and then it never really occurred to us that where the hell this stuff had been. None of it had been in a package. It's all creepy flesh colored too. Like what's a butt plug got to be flesh colored for? It's got to blend in with your cheeks or, you know what I mean?

57:53🔗 Drew It's supposed to look like an ace of space.

57:55🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. And engineer as Michelle was just on the internet looking up a little butt plug. Did you find, did you, did you find something there?

58:06🔗 Caller Yeah, I found a inflatable butt plug.

58:08🔗 Adam Now see, they didn't have those back in the day.

58:11🔗 Drew They were outfangled now.

58:12🔗 Adam No. Ours were carved out of hickory.

58:14🔗 Drew Of course.

58:15🔗 Adam Yeah. Barks still on some of them. Yeah. What, what does this one say?

58:19🔗 Drew One of them was named Andrew Jackson, in fact.

58:21🔗 Adam Yeah. What did, what's it say?

58:24🔗 Caller This one says, great rubber lovers sex toy. The inflatable butt plug is heavy, durable, and expands for your player.

58:34🔗 Adam Now I'm guessing, now hold on a second. You have to inflate it when it's in there. That's what they're saying, right?

58:40🔗 Caller It's a little plug and then it has a little tube, and then a pump on it. Yeah.

58:46🔗 Adam I hooked that up to, I got a 20 gallon compressor, put down about 200 PSI and really get to town. You know what I mean? Blow guy up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

58:57🔗 Caller Fill the sensation of your.

58:58🔗 Drew Okay.

59:00🔗 Adam Yeah. I want to hear it.

59:00🔗 Drew Your inner is ripping.

59:01🔗 Caller Of your ass. I'm being filled.

59:03🔗 Adam What about you? You read a part during the commercial where it said that it's good for underclothing.

59:09🔗 Caller Oh yeah. The removable hand pump makes the inflatable butt plug easy to wear under your clothes or in a latex catsuit.

59:17🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. See, Drew?

59:18🔗 Drew Well, most of, yeah, in your latex catsuit, because most people have one. So. Yeah.

59:22🔗 Adam I mean, it's, it's, in a latex catsuit. It's adaptable. It's the kind of thing that you can. It's really the SUV of butt plugs. You could drive it to the opera, but you also, you know, go to the yard sale with it.

59:35🔗 Drew Load up. How's the rollover rating?

59:38🔗 Adam I don't know. Now, unsafe at any speed. Oh, so the consumer reports on it.

59:42🔗 Drew See?

59:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

59:42🔗 Drew That's why I'm upset.

59:43🔗 Adam All right. So that's what the butt plug does. Now, who are we talking to?

59:47🔗 Drew Brian. We've got to get him back on the line here.

59:48🔗 Adam Brian?

59:49🔗 Drew Line three.

59:49🔗 Adam Oh, OK.

59:51🔗 Drew Brian?

59:52🔗 Caller Yes.

59:52🔗 Drew All right. There we go.

59:53🔗 Adam You're 18?

59:54🔗 Caller Adam. Adam, you're a god. Adam's a god. And Dr. Drew is just a genius. I've been listening to you guys for a while, and you guys are absolutely amazing.

1:00:03🔗 Caller I'd just like to say that.

1:00:04🔗 Adam Thank you, Brian.

1:00:05🔗 Drew Brian, what's going on?

1:00:07🔗 Caller Basically, my girlfriend, when she's on her period, she wants to have sex.

1:00:12🔗 Drew Some women actually get more receptive around the end of their period. Yeah.

1:00:16🔗 Adam It's great.

1:00:17🔗 Drew Oh, that's your wife? No.

1:00:19🔗 Adam No, but it's, it's, it's, it's, eh. Can you guys hear me?

1:00:24🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I've run into these women before, but they've had a good taste to leave the tampon in. You know what I mean? Yeah. And there are guys who I, you know, I think back in my, you know, back in the day when it was a little more daring, you know, count me in on one of these. Yeah. Drew. All right. As a doctor.

1:00:43🔗 Drew It's a big deal.

1:00:44🔗 Adam God knows what's going on.

1:00:45🔗 Drew So what's the question?

1:00:47🔗 Caller The question is, is, is can I, can I hurt her or can I get like an, an, an infection on my penis or, you know?

1:00:55🔗 Drew No, she is at some risk in that if you introduce bacteria during her period, there's a slight increase risk that it can get up into the higher regions of the, of the genital tract, meaning the tubes.

1:01:06🔗 Adam Why?

1:01:06🔗 Drew It's sort of an open path during the period. The cervix opens a little bit, cervix is open. There's blood coming down a little bit all the time.

1:01:12🔗 Adam What is it like normally?

1:01:14🔗 Drew It's closed up.

1:01:15🔗 Adam Really?

1:01:15🔗 Drew It's harder to get up there. We think that's one of the reasons that happens. But the bottom line is certainly if you wear a condom, there's no problem. And even without, it's certainly nothing you're going to get. And it's not that big a deal if it's... Obviously, blood borne pathogens, HIV, all that stuff are a little more of an issue when there actually is blood exposure.

1:01:31🔗 Adam Right. And it's tough, though, that psycho scene when you're washing your dork off in the sink. Like, oh, water turning red. Just looking at yourself disgusted.

1:01:44🔗 Caller No more.

1:01:45🔗 Adam That's what I noticed last time.

1:01:47🔗 Caller You know what I mean, Joe?

1:01:49🔗 Adam That weird psycho sink thing.

1:01:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:51🔗 Drew It's always this sort of...

1:01:52🔗 Adam Yeah, it really is. And it's amazing how much blood your penis can hold.

1:01:58🔗 Drew Well, a small amount of blood turns...

1:01:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:00🔗 Drew You know, a couple of drops will turn into a toilet bowl.

1:02:02🔗 Adam Right?

1:02:03🔗 Drew Crimson.

1:02:03🔗 Caller Well, all right.

1:02:05🔗 Adam Have a good time.

1:02:06🔗 Drew Okay.

1:02:07🔗 Caller All right.

1:02:07🔗 Adam I like the guys who go down on a woman during that time of the month. That's a man.

1:02:12🔗 Drew That's my people.

1:02:13🔗 Adam Yeah. Are you ready, Drew? Maya?

1:02:16🔗 Yeah.

1:02:17🔗 Adam You're 18?

1:02:18🔗 Caller I am 18.

1:02:19🔗 Adam What's up?

1:02:21🔗 Caller Well, first I want to say thank you to Dr. Drew for going on the news. There was CNN or Fox News or something. I really appreciate you talking about birth control education. Thank you very much.

1:02:35🔗 Drew This is the hardball thing, the abstinence only education stuff?

1:02:39🔗 Caller Yeah. Thank you, Adam, for your equally important work as Spanky the Pig.

1:02:45🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:02:46🔗 Drew That's important work.

1:02:47🔗 Adam Thank you. We're uniting the community. Drew, yes, I never see you on TV. You never tell me anymore.

1:02:55🔗 Drew I'll go through runs, Rodney News like every day.

1:02:58🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:02:58🔗 Drew Yeah. It's usually cable news.

1:03:00🔗 Adam Sometimes I miss you. There must be a part of me that somehow knows where you are and misses you.

1:03:04🔗 Drew I do a lot of Scarborough and Debra Norville and CNN.

1:03:08🔗 Adam Is Scarborough the guy who looks like he has vaginas for eyes?

1:03:11🔗 Drew So you're saying yes.

1:03:12🔗 Adam Oh, he does. It looks like he took a mechanics creeper and slid under an 11-year-old girl. That's what his eyes look like. Well, it's true. His vagina is.

1:03:24🔗 Drew I should be talking about CNN, actually. I did some CNN about this stuff, too.

1:03:29🔗 Adam Maya?

1:03:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:31🔗 Adam All right. So what's going on, baby doll?

1:03:32🔗 Caller Okay. I had my nipples pierced a couple of months ago. And I am noticing that when I get my period, they kind of get a little discharge from them, like white and crusty, but only when I'm on my period. And it goes away. I can wash it and it's fine.

1:03:50🔗 Drew But do your breasts get tender and swollen around the time of your period?

1:03:55🔗 Caller Sometimes. It's not like a big deal, though.

1:03:59🔗 Drew So this sort of discharge only occurs leading up to your period, when you're menstruating, when?

1:04:05🔗 Caller Um, when I'm having my period. And it didn't happen before I got my nipples pierced. And it's only on, like, yeah, where the piercing is at.

1:04:13🔗 Drew Well, you're trying to make the case that it's some sort of milk production, which I don't think so.

1:04:18🔗 Caller OK.

1:04:18🔗 Drew I think it's just sort of a dis-

1:04:19🔗 Is it an infection?

1:04:20🔗 Drew Yeah, just an irritation.

1:04:22🔗 Adam Well, so it's just the extra activity in the breast.

1:04:25🔗 Drew Yes, it's causing a little fluid emission, a little discharge.

1:04:28🔗 Adam A little pressure.

1:04:30🔗 Drew Some irritation or something. I suspect that's what it is. There certainly can be milk discharge, but that usually doesn't cycle with the period. Are you on any medication, Maya?

1:04:39🔗 Caller I'm on menicycling and birth control.

1:04:43🔗 Drew Birth control sometimes can sort of move you towards milk kind of production, but not typically. So yeah, it's probably just irritation.

1:04:52🔗 Adam Maya, do you have a boyfriend?

1:04:55🔗 Caller Not at the moment.

1:04:57🔗 Adam What do you find with the nipple piercings? Do you find guys like that?

1:05:05🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean, my ex-boyfriends, they are really disappointed when they found out, but like my friends, they all think it's really hot or something.

1:05:13🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:05:15🔗 Adam Who was your ex-boyfriend who was very disappointed when he found out you got your nipple piercings?

1:05:19🔗 Caller Yeah. He thinks we're getting back together, so he's really disappointed that I would choose to do body modification or something.

1:05:30🔗 Adam Because he doesn't want to be with someone who's that way, but you're not going to get back together with him?

1:05:34🔗 Caller Yeah. I don't think so. He found out, and he was like, no, they were good the way they were, and I was like, but it's my choice.

1:05:43🔗 Adam Sure. It's your body. You got to put holes in it.

1:05:46🔗 Exactly.

1:05:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:49🔗 Adam It's like I got a nice car. I like to go smack it with a softball bat.

1:05:53🔗 Drew Sure. Or smack. Yeah. Put a hole in the fender.

1:05:55🔗 Adam It's my car.

1:05:55🔗 Drew Yeah. Before somebody else does it to it.

1:05:57🔗 Adam Someone could hit me.

1:05:57🔗 Drew Someone could hit you better first.

1:05:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Like that a-hole in the town car, trying to block me on the ramp.

1:06:02🔗 Drew So if you just smash your car, you wouldn't have felt so bad about that guy.

1:06:04🔗 Adam What size cups do you have? Nice. Nice. Let me say this. Somebody, by the way, just today, haven't gone off on this jag in a while, but today somebody came up to me. I've had the great luck to have both my car fenders dinged fairly decently by two separate cars and two separate parking lots. You know, one time I was just parked on the street and someone just clipped the car. And the other time, I guess, parked in the parking lot. Either way, no one left a note, everyone just left. I have two nice good old things that I didn't earn in my car. And just today, somebody did that. What happened? What happened here? What? Again, that question, which I've never asked anybody, what happened here? What happened here? Let's see. Wow. Because, you know, a volcano erupted and a piece of lava magma got shot in the sky. And once it hit the stratosphere and cooled to hard rock, and as it came down to scratch my fender, what happened here? And aren't people just saying that to make you feel less than them?

1:07:17🔗 Drew I don't think so. I really think it's just...

1:07:19🔗 Adam What happened here?

1:07:19🔗 Drew I think it's... I'm just saying. I think it's just something to just say.

1:07:23🔗 Adam Why do you got to do that? By the way, I'm not aware of the dent that's in my car fender.

1:07:27🔗 Drew See, now you're shaming me. What happened here?

1:07:30🔗 Adam What's going on here? What happened here? Oh, there I hit a down pillow. I was driving and I hit down. I hit feathers. Goose down. I hit a 700 thread count down comforter, you jackass. What do you think happened? What happened? A feather duster hit the car. What happened? I hit a giant swatch of felt. That, yeah, no, it's a car hit that, okay? What do you mean what happened? Go watch you go look around other cars in the parlor, go find some bird crap on my hood. What happened here? What?

1:08:10🔗 Drew You want insurance adjuster? What happened here is not what happened here. It's, well, this sure sucks.

1:08:18🔗 Adam Now, it's not. I don't think it is.

1:08:21🔗 Drew I think you could say it to the bird crap and go, what happened here? Geez, that sure sucks.

1:08:25🔗 Adam No, no, this is somebody just shaming you. It's an attack. It's nothing short of an attack.

1:08:33🔗 Drew Okay. Could be.

1:08:35🔗 Adam What happened here? What happened here?

1:08:39🔗 Drew It's a little bit.

1:08:39🔗 Adam I've never seen a dent in the side of a car.

1:08:40🔗 Drew You know what it is a little bit of? It's a little bit of.

1:08:44🔗 Adam I'll tell you what it is.

1:08:44🔗 Drew It's a way of feeling better about you having a nice car. Yeah, it's envy.

1:08:50🔗 Adam What happened here is I have a nicer car than yours, except for mine has a dent.

1:08:55🔗 Drew But it's a little envy, right? Yeah.

1:08:58🔗 Adam And it's really sort of the nine-year-old who says to the fat maid, don't sit on the chair, you'll break it. Right. It's like there's a little sort of naiveté to it.

1:09:10🔗 Drew That's why I'm saying.

1:09:11🔗 Adam But do you ever get an answer? Do you ever get an answer? Susquatch. Bigfoot.

1:09:16🔗 Drew Crap. Crap there.

1:09:18🔗 Adam He need it. Yeah. Yeah. Or is it just some a-hole that bargula?

1:09:22🔗 Is there ever a good story?

1:09:24🔗 Adam They don't want a story. Celebrity? No. It's nothing. There we go.

1:09:28🔗 Drew Let's keep going.

1:09:28🔗 Adam What happened here?

1:09:29🔗 Drew Keep moving forward.

1:09:30🔗 Adam What happened? That's the same a-holes who point out the zit. You know the a-hole buddy points out, what do you got here? We got some cooking here? Yeah.

1:09:40🔗 This is it.

1:09:41🔗 Drew You got a couple of friends that are way into that.

1:09:44🔗 Adam Yeah. What happened?

1:09:45🔗 Drew That's right.

1:09:46🔗 Adam Yeah, that's right. What happened here?

1:09:47🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:09:48🔗 Adam What happened here? Remember I said about the volcano? I got a zit. What happened? Poor guy clogged. I got a little oil in there and now it's inflamed. What happened here? Are they asking if you're aware of it? Of course, you can see the plier marks on it, can't you? Obviously, I'm aware of it. It blood is dripping down my cheek and you can see just the indentation of the flathead screwdriver there. Yeah, obviously. No, I missed it. That's it's the color of Rudolph's nose and I just missed it. I did not see that big, festering red zit that's on my forehead. No, I missed it. That one? Oh, that. Thought I was Eastern Indian. I thought it was just that dot. Man, I was a married Indian lady. Yeah, I didn't know. No, what happened?

1:10:38🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:10:39🔗 Adam All right. Not just everyone. Stop with your retarded questions.

1:10:43🔗 Drew Think before you speak. Veronica, what do you think? Oh, all mine. That should be our new public service announcement.

1:10:50🔗 Adam We got everybody.

1:10:51🔗 Drew Think before you speak.

1:10:52🔗 Adam You got a zit and a dent? You got a dent and a zit? What happened here?

1:10:55🔗 Caller Veronica, what's going on?

1:10:56🔗 Adam What happened to your car? What happened?

1:10:58🔗 Drew Veronica, what's up?

1:11:00🔗 Caller Hello?

1:11:00🔗 Drew Hi.

1:11:01🔗 Caller Hi. Hello.

1:11:04🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:11:06🔗 Caller What's going on with me?

1:11:08🔗 Drew All right.

1:11:09🔗 Adam Drew, apparently you're think before you speak.

1:11:11🔗 Drew Line two. Line two.

1:11:13🔗 Adam Line two? Charlotte?

1:11:17🔗 Caller Hello.

1:11:18🔗 Adam You're 19?

1:11:20🔗 Caller Yes. Okay.

1:11:21🔗 Drew Seventeen.

1:11:22🔗 Adam Oh, you're 17. That's right.

1:11:24🔗 Caller Sorry.

1:11:25🔗 Drew But we like you already for not having corrected, Adam.

1:11:27🔗 Adam I, God, love you.

1:11:30🔗 Caller About a month and a half ago, me and my dad moved out of my mom's house because they're getting a divorce.

1:11:37🔗 Drew Why did you stay with your dad?

1:11:39🔗 Caller Because she's my stepmom and she didn't adopt me by law.

1:11:44🔗 Drew Where's your biological mom?

1:11:47🔗 Caller She is in Minnesota.

1:11:49🔗 Drew How come she's out of the picture?

1:11:51🔗 Caller She's just been out of the picture since I was born.

1:11:54🔗 Caller Why?

1:11:56🔗 Caller Divorce and stuff like that.

1:11:58🔗 Drew What else? Stuff like what? Please Sharla.

1:12:01🔗 Caller Come on baby.

1:12:02🔗 Drew She's got to be a big time drug addict, right?

1:12:03🔗 Caller What happened here?

1:12:04🔗 Caller I guess so. I haven't talked to her. I've talked to her like three times my whole entire life.

1:12:08🔗 Drew What does your dad tell you about her?

1:12:10🔗 Caller He just tells me that she is a drug addict.

1:12:13🔗 Drew Okay Sharla, that's all you got to say is yes. The answer is yes. When we say it's a big time drug addict, you say that's right. That's what causes the mom to leave the child behind.

1:12:23🔗 Adam I know everyone is in denial and everything, but if we get it, you have to say yes.

1:12:27🔗 Drew All I got to say is yes.

1:12:28🔗 Adam Do I have to keep going through this charade all the time?

1:12:31🔗 Drew The fact is-

1:12:31🔗 Adam Well my dad didn't say that-

1:12:33🔗 Drew The only thing that can take over the brain's motivational system so profoundly that you can leave your basic instinct for a child, it's because a drug has taken it over. So that's why we know that's the case. All right, so what's going on?

1:12:45🔗 Caller Well, I, okay, a month and a half ago, I moved in with just my dad and just us. And ever since then, I've been having these reoccurring dreams that I was molested, but I don't know if I was and I don't know if they're just weird dreams or if I really was.

1:13:01🔗 Drew I don't think you don't strike us as somebody who's been sexually abused. You've had your share of trauma. What?

1:13:07🔗 Caller I have like flashbacks and stuff like that, and I feel really uncomfortable around guys. And I talked to a counselor and they said that I shouldn't feel uncomfortable like as much as I do.

1:13:17🔗 Drew What happened? Tell me about a flashback. Describe one to me.

1:13:20🔗 Caller Like, oh, like if my dad like walks past me and like his shoulder up against me, it like, I like tense up and I think, what?

1:13:31🔗 Drew What do you flash back to? What happens?

1:13:33🔗 Caller Like, just I flash back to, you know, just something going on and I don't know.

1:13:40🔗 Drew No, that's not. That's not a flashback, Cheryl. That's not a flashback.

1:13:42🔗 Adam Well, I have a picture drawn by the flashback.

1:13:45🔗 Drew People will actually have visual memories. They actually will be sort of in a waking dream state. They will flash all the way back to the original trauma or they will misinterpret the circumstance and be unable to not react as though they were being sexually abused, even though they know they weren't.

1:14:00🔗 Adam Do you mean don't you know your father well enough to know what he's sort of capable of?

1:14:06🔗 Caller Not really. I was never really close with my parents.

1:14:09🔗 Drew Yeah, I think this is more of a function of this.

1:14:11🔗 Adam Yeah, you were just abandoned.

1:14:13🔗 Drew Yes, this is abandonment stuff and this is just trying to figure yourself out and boundaries and all that.

1:14:18🔗 Adam Yeah, I know my dad doesn't. My dad, I don't think he's capable of molesting anyone because his policy is that he's not getting off the sofa. So you actually have to come to him. You have to come to the sofa.

1:14:30🔗 Drew Yeah, but what's there?

1:14:33🔗 Adam I know my dad's not capable of anything because anything involves movement that he's incapable of doing. So whatever it is.

1:14:39🔗 Drew So you can check some things off the list.

1:14:42🔗 Adam Is your dad an alcoholic? Well, you'd actually have to lift a beer if you want to buy a six-pack.

1:14:48🔗 Drew Nope, check, no.

1:14:48🔗 Adam Pedophile?

1:14:49🔗 Drew Check, no. You have to take his pants off, no.

1:14:52🔗 Adam Yeah, he didn't sit on the computer and look at kitty.

1:14:55🔗 Drew No. Sit, maybe. Oh, hands at the... No, check. No. Okay, good. We'll see all these bad things he didn't do. So his advantage is having a dad that can't do anything.

1:15:05🔗 Adam Right. That's true. Yeah. Did he beat you?

1:15:10🔗 Drew That's false action.

1:15:11🔗 Adam No, he would have what? Have what? Who? Somebody lift his arm up and then drop it on me?

1:15:16🔗 Drew Check. No.

1:15:17🔗 Adam No, my dad was like, weekend at Bernie's. Like a guy with a bad tube just sitting on the sofa. I'd have to smell him every once in a while to see if he was dead. I mean, I guess he's... Wait a minute, he farted. Are you ready to take a break here, Drew?

1:15:32🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm ready.

1:15:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:34🔗 Adam Unlike Drew's dad. What was your dad like growing up? At energy?

1:15:38🔗 Drew Yeah, he's busy.

1:15:39🔗 Adam Busy? What was he doing? Working? What did he need you to do?

1:15:44🔗 Drew Not spend his money.

1:15:45🔗 Adam Not spend money. Would he have you do chores and stuff?

1:15:47🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:15:48🔗 Adam You do chores?

1:15:49🔗 Drew Oh, sure.

1:15:49🔗 Adam Yeah. And would he pay you?

1:15:51🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:15:52🔗 Adam Wait, you get an allowance?

1:15:54🔗 Drew Not get paid for working.

1:15:55🔗 Adam You would? Yeah. Would you mow the lawn and stuff?

1:15:57🔗 Drew I do a lot of yard stuff.

1:15:58🔗 Adam A lot of yard stuff?

1:15:59🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:16:00🔗 Adam And your mom, she's a nuttier one, right? She's got a little energy?

1:16:04🔗 Drew Energy.

1:16:06🔗 Adam She's got a motor in her, right? All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. Let's a little window into Drew's life, everybody. Take a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:16:20🔗 Caller 1-800-CALL-LA-FINE-LOVE-1-9-1.

1:16:31🔗 Adam Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Get it on.

1:16:34🔗 Caller Blah.

1:16:36🔗 Drew All right.

1:16:36🔗 Adam You ready to rock here, Drew?

1:16:37🔗 Drew Here we go. Rocking.

1:16:38🔗 Adam What's going on there, buddy?

1:16:39🔗 Drew That's not a helmet. It's not a chair, gentlemen.

1:16:42🔗 Adam Grab a knee.

1:16:44🔗 Laura?

1:16:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:46🔗 Adam You're 23?

1:16:47🔗 Caller I am.

1:16:48🔗 Adam What's that?

1:16:48🔗 Caller Well, I called Adam because about a year and a half ago, I called to the show because I was having a final the next day, and I was having sort of a panic attack, and I was just freaking out. And I know that Drew would have good advice on that. So I called the show and thinking that I'd get advice from him. And it turned out you let him go home at the end of the show because his kids were sick. So he went on home, and I was sort of disappointed about it. I was like, dang it, I'm going to get some good advice from Drew and now he's gone. Well, then you said, all you take baby doll, you need to take a chill pill. And that's all you said. And that was about a year and a half ago, and I graduate college in three days. And seriously, every time I sit down to a test and I'm really nervous, I think about, it goes through my head, take a chill pill, and it just makes me laugh and relax.

1:17:37🔗 Drew And that is awesome.

1:17:38🔗 Caller Chill pill.

1:17:40🔗 Adam I meant to take a quiet.

1:17:41🔗 Drew That is, he meant literally take a chill pill.

1:17:43🔗 Adam Literally take a quiet, yeah.

1:17:45🔗 Drew But it was actually, it's the power of human relations. We have a, people have power over one another, and that then he hit the right note at the right time for you. It's not really what he said. It's just that contact, that connection.

1:17:56🔗 Adam I think that's pretty stellar advice.

1:17:58🔗 Drew It was, yeah, don't get me wrong. It was a genius.

1:18:01🔗 Adam Yeah, write that one down.

1:18:03🔗 Drew Take a chill pill. Got it?

1:18:05🔗 Caller But yes, but yeah, now I'm about to graduate and have an awesome job and so.

1:18:09🔗 Adam Yeah. Another Loveline success story.

1:18:13🔗 Drew I remember that night, that was the night my son had poison oak and was running around the house smacking his face crying.

1:18:20🔗 Adam Yeah. He was on fire. That's a bitch. That's why you have the tranquilizer gun. Laura, and you're going to graduate. Then what are you doing?

1:18:30🔗 Caller Well, I'm graduating with a finance degree and I'll be working for Raytheon as a financial analyst, making a lot of money. So wow. Yeah.

1:18:40🔗 Drew Where do you go to college?

1:18:41🔗 Caller Kansas State University.

1:18:43🔗 Drew I think I'm coming out to Kansas State in the spring to talk.

1:18:46🔗 Adam Go Jayhawks.

1:18:48🔗 Caller I'm pretty sure I am.

1:18:49🔗 Caller Two hours away and I will definitely come back and see it.

1:18:52🔗 Drew How do you introduce yourself to me when I get out there?

1:18:54🔗 Caller Really? That'd be awesome. Yeah. That'd be awesome.

1:18:57🔗 Adam And be wearing something tight. The road gets lonely. Very lonely.

1:19:02🔗 Caller Definitely, Adam.

1:19:04🔗 Adam All right. The road gets lonely, doesn't it? That's right.

1:19:07🔗 Drew The road gets lonely.

1:19:09🔗 Adam We're both rambling, man. We got to ramble.

1:19:12🔗 Drew I know. You keep jumping after me.

1:19:14🔗 Adam I have no choice but to ramble.

1:19:15🔗 Drew Scampering away all the time.

1:19:17🔗 Adam Because you ramble, too. Actually, you scurry.

1:19:19🔗 Drew I scurry as well.

1:19:20🔗 Adam I'm a rambling man, but Drew's a scurrying man. Yeah. Yeah. I like to stay with you, baby. But the long and short of it.

1:19:28🔗 Drew Got to ramble.

1:19:29🔗 Adam Got to ramble. What time is it?

1:19:31🔗 Drew Rambling time.

1:19:32🔗 Adam That's right. Here's the twist on my rambling.

1:19:34🔗 Drew Got my boots, got my Stetson, and I'm rambling.

1:19:37🔗 Adam Here's my thing, too. I like when the guy explains to her that he really likes her. It's just by law, there was a decree many years ago that said he was a rambling man.

1:19:47🔗 Drew It's just by nature.

1:19:48🔗 Adam Once you're declared rambling, you have to ramble. You have to ramble. My twist on the traditional rambling is I ramble at noon. You know what I mean? I don't do it at first sun. A lot of guys, when you wake up, I'll be gone.

1:20:04🔗 Drew Not you.

1:20:05🔗 Adam My whole thing is, while you're at work, I'll still be sleeping.

1:20:08🔗 Drew And then I'll be gone.

1:20:09🔗 Adam Then I ramble. No. Then I eat. And then I eat stuff, and then I ramble. And I might even clean out like a change bucket. And then I ramble. By the time you get home from work, I will have ramble.

1:20:21🔗 That's the song goes.

1:20:23🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying, Drew? I don't get up and ramble.

1:20:25🔗 Drew When you wake up, I'll be sleeping.

1:20:27🔗 Adam By the way, why do I got to get up at 5.45 in the morning and ramble? I'm not going anywhere. You just ramble to ramble.

1:20:33🔗 Drew Well, you're a...

1:20:34🔗 Adam Not late for a rambling date.

1:20:36🔗 Drew You're a nouveau rambler.

1:20:37🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:38🔗 Drew It's a new incarnation of rambling.

1:20:39🔗 Adam This isn't your dad's rambling.

1:20:41🔗 Drew No, this is Corolla rambling.

1:20:43🔗 Adam Yeah, this is a new wave rambling.

1:20:45🔗 Drew Speaking of rambling, cause it's gonna call.

1:20:47🔗 Caller Oh, all right, all right.

1:20:50🔗 Adam You ladies should realize up front that I'm a rambler. Derek?

1:20:57🔗 Caller Hello?

1:20:58🔗 Adam You're 21?

1:20:59🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 21.

1:21:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:21:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:03🔗 Drew And what's going on?

1:21:04🔗 Adam You know, black guys don't ramble, but they're rolling stones.

1:21:08🔗 Drew They don't collect no moss.

1:21:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:21:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:11🔗 Adam They got you never hear about black guys rambling yet. They're really the world champion ramblers.

1:21:16🔗 Drew Well, no, no, no. It's a little different because rambling suggests you stay somewhere for a while and then ramble all of a sudden. Rolling stones just don't even stop. Just keep rolling. Keep rolling.

1:21:25🔗 Adam Right. They just keep people pregnant and keep rolling along.

1:21:27🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:21:28🔗 Adam Yeah. Ramblers don't get people pregnant. They have relationships. They get laid, but there's no kids left behind.

1:21:34🔗 Drew Yeah. And they come back too. They just got to keep rambling.

1:21:39🔗 Adam They hope one day they're coming through town.

1:21:40🔗 Caller Well, they do.

1:21:41🔗 Drew But the rolling stone, they don't put no moss. They just keep going and rambling.

1:21:44🔗 Adam Interesting.

1:21:45🔗 Caller Derek? Hello.

1:21:47🔗 Adam You're 21?

1:21:48🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

1:21:49🔗 Adam All right. You're white?

1:21:50🔗 Caller I am.

1:21:51🔗 Drew All right.

1:21:51🔗 Adam So you would be a rambler?

1:21:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:53🔗 Drew Well, if he's a rambler, he'd be a rambler.

1:21:54🔗 Adam If you're a rambling man. Yeah. Let's go ahead, Scott.

1:21:57🔗 Drew Derek?

1:21:58🔗 Adam I mean, Derek.

1:21:59🔗 Caller Who the hell is Scott?

1:22:01🔗 Adam Go ahead. I wrote it down. That's right.

1:22:04🔗 Caller My question is, my girlfriend says that wearing tighty-whities may reduce sperm count. I just want to know if that's true or not.

1:22:12🔗 Drew Well, not in any significant ways. Enjoy.

1:22:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:22:16🔗 Drew Not to any significant extent. I think if people are working fertility, they might talk about that a little bit.

1:22:22🔗 Adam But boxers with the boxers is really like that. To me, it's the feeling of wearing a gym shorts under your pants.

1:22:32🔗 Drew Why just have no underwear?

1:22:34🔗 Adam I don't know. You know the guys out there like, oh no, I swear by the boxers. Boxers, your nance just like the clanker in a bell, just between your thighs.

1:22:48🔗 Drew The counterweight in a clock.

1:22:49🔗 Adam Yeah. Just swinging all.

1:22:52🔗 Drew When you've got the gravity issues that you have.

1:22:56🔗 Adam You think I like the ramble. Tell my sack.

1:22:58🔗 Drew That's where they go.

1:22:59🔗 Adam Oh, they'll give them a couple of days head start on my ramble.

1:23:03🔗 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

1:23:04🔗 Adam Ramblin sack. Yeah, the sack. I'll tell my sack, go ahead and ramble without me. You leave on a Wednesday. I'll see you on Friday.

1:23:13🔗 Drew Yeah, you catch up.

1:23:14🔗 Adam Yeah, we'll meet in Amboli.

1:23:16🔗 Drew Albuquerque, yeah.

1:23:17🔗 Adam Yeah, it's where we're at. So, Ramblin.

1:23:19🔗 Caller It's where we, yeah.

1:23:20🔗 Drew Oh, your nuts will be in Amboli, but you'll meet in Albuquerque.

1:23:22🔗 Adam That's right. That's right. Ramblin nuts. It's a great song. The Ullman Brothers. Ramblin sack. The, yeah, what was I saying? Yeah, I don't know. And then the other part, which is even worse, is the part where the fly just escaped open the whole time.

1:23:38🔗 Drew Stuff's coming out.

1:23:39🔗 Adam And something comes out and it's really, it's the same thing. You know when you put-

1:23:43🔗 Drew Michelle just puked. She's just retched.

1:23:46🔗 Adam You know, okay, you know how you can close your eyes, you can open your mouth and you can feel a finger going down there. Even if it's not touching. That's what my dork's like with the door open, with the door open. I can feel it out of the thing. It drives me nuts. I mean, you know, I've become like a dog that you put a party hat on. They just start backing out and they're paused. I did my, I love doing it. My wife said, we got to put antlers on the dog this year. I was like, yeah, I like that. You know, in the picture of the dog, that dog is drugged on the package. There's a dog just sitting there, like, hey, look at me, I got antlers. Like, oh yeah, no, these, I've had them on. I've had them since last year.

1:24:25🔗 Drew Did she make you put them on?

1:24:27🔗 Adam She made me put them on the dog.

1:24:28🔗 Drew Oh, that poor dog.

1:24:29🔗 Adam Put the dog, put the antlers on the dog. Put the dogs that are chewing them. You know, with the dog meat, like such a thing where, you know, their hands, their paws start flapping around, trying to chew their ears off and everything.

1:24:40🔗 Drew That's bad.

1:24:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:24:41🔗 Drew That's not right.

1:24:42🔗 Adam Well, you don't do that.

1:24:43🔗 Drew No.

1:24:43🔗 Adam No, but it's fun to watch the dog.

1:24:46🔗 Drew Just give him some peanut butter and watch that. Same thing.

1:24:48🔗 Adam Yeah, but that's kind of gross.

1:24:50🔗 Caller Okay.

1:24:51🔗 Adam The commercial grossed me out. Point is, is the dork, when the penis is coming out the fly of the boxers, I can feel it. I know what it is and it feels like the cat with the party hat on or the dog with the antlers on.

1:25:05🔗 Caller You're right.

1:25:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:07🔗 Adam It would be great if I get my dog. You know what this thing should come with? It should come not only with the furry antlers, with the elastic strap on it for your dog, but it should come with some roofies or something. Not to dope the dog up so it just sat there, couldn't even hold its head up. I just duct taped the antlers to its head. Yeah.

1:25:26🔗 Drew It'd be less abusive.

1:25:27🔗 Adam I'm going to do that. I'm going to crush up a bunch of Tylenol PM, put it in a Gainsburger, and then staple the antlers to the dog's head. Maybe use a little duct tape. Perfect. All right. Wife will love that. Sean, you're 23. Hello? Yeah.

1:25:45🔗 Caller No? I had a question about this girl I met online. She wants me to come meet her.

1:25:52🔗 Drew And where does she live?

1:25:53🔗 Caller She lives in Boston, Massachusetts. I live in Vancouver, Washington.

1:25:57🔗 Drew Oh, so it's 3,000 miles.

1:25:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:59🔗 Drew Come on, Sean. You can't get somebody nearby. You can't meet anybody we live.

1:26:05🔗 Adam Wait a minute. Where's Vancouver, Washington?

1:26:07🔗 Drew It's up north. It's up there.

1:26:09🔗 Adam It's in Washington? There's a Vancouver, Washington?

1:26:13🔗 Caller Yeah, it's right above Portland, Oregon.

1:26:15🔗 Adam That's right above Portland, Oregon. All right. Is it near Vancouver, Vancouver?

1:26:19🔗 Drew No, no, it's at the other end of Washington.

1:26:22🔗 Adam I think I get up there.

1:26:23🔗 Caller All right.

1:26:24🔗 Adam Hi. It's not confusing.

1:26:26🔗 Drew Yes, it's confusing.

1:26:27🔗 Adam Okay.

1:26:27🔗 Drew Springfield, the Springfield, too.

1:26:29🔗 Adam It's right on the border, right?

1:26:30🔗 Drew There's got to be a Springfield, Washington. Yes, Vancouver, Canada, British Columbia is on the border with Washington, the northern border.

1:26:36🔗 Adam Right.

1:26:36🔗 Drew This is at the Oregon, Washington border.

1:26:38🔗 Adam All right.

1:26:39🔗 Drew All right.

1:26:39🔗 Adam What's happening, Sean?

1:26:41🔗 Caller Okay. So I met this girl online. Okay. First off, I just moved up to Vancouver, out of Oregon, and I don't know anybody in my town. So I basically just been cruising the Internet. I don't really do much. And I met this girl and I've been talking to her for a couple of weeks and she's already telling me like she loves me and this and that.

1:26:57🔗 Drew No, no, Sean, do not do it. Turn back, turn back.

1:27:00🔗 Adam That's a dude.

1:27:01🔗 Drew Yeah, it's maybe a dude, but worse yet, it could be a woman, but that is not a stable person that they're telling you they love you after no relationship.

1:27:09🔗 Caller I kind of got that from her.

1:27:10🔗 Drew All right, that's that.

1:27:11🔗 Adam Sean is just hard up.

1:27:13🔗 Drew Big time.

1:27:13🔗 Adam He just wanted to advertise to someone like them.

1:27:15🔗 Drew Yeah, here we go, keep going.

1:27:17🔗 Adam Think about what that internet would be for you and your passion when you were 20. What an endless stream of just, if anything, just engaging conversations, sexual conversations, provocative conversations, just talking to chicks all the time. Yeah?

1:27:35🔗 Drew Yeah, weird. You can't even imagine it. I know. I got to have a productive life without that.

1:27:43🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, so you think. You want to talk to george?

1:27:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:47🔗 Adam Hates him, initiates sex, gets mad, girlfriend hates him.

1:27:50🔗 Drew That's interesting. What's he talking about?

1:27:52🔗 Adam I call it boring. I got to take a break. I'm tired. It's time to take a break. I don't want to get into this. You guys all disgust me. I want to talk about my dog with the furry antlers trying to put on.

1:28:05🔗 Drew I'll remind you that's when we started the segment. That's about how long it's been.

1:28:08🔗 Caller All right.

1:28:08🔗 Adam Let's take a little break.

1:28:09🔗 Caller All right.

1:28:10🔗 Adam We'll be right back after this.

1:28:12🔗 Caller If you need help, hang up and then dive, dive. Loveline.

1:28:38🔗 Adam Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-1-9-1. Next week, Sum 41, the Donnas, the Donnas have been in here, haven't they?

1:28:49🔗 Drew I can't remember meeting them. Yes, they have been.

1:28:52🔗 Adam Chicks, Chick Ban. Yeah.

1:28:55🔗 Drew Papa Roach is gonna be in here too. I think about it.

1:28:58🔗 Adam You're on the road when the Donnas were in here.

1:29:00🔗 Drew I was rambling.

1:29:00🔗 Adam You had to ramble.

1:29:01🔗 Drew I had to ramble.

1:29:03🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. Drew is allowed to ramble, but he's got to keep his nuts at home and the penis. He's a junkless, rambling man, which sort of defeats the rambling. Yeah. He's like a rambling mannequin.

1:29:19🔗 Drew Rambling eunuch.

1:29:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:21🔗 Adam Lord, I was born a rambling eunuch. Yeah. That's Drew on the road. Hey, Drew, let's go to strip club. No, I have no genitalia. So why bother?

1:29:33🔗 Caller Why bother? george?

1:29:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:29:36🔗 Yeah.

1:29:37🔗 Adam You're 19?

1:29:38🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 19. What's up? I have this girlfriend. We've been dating a little over a year and a half, or just under a year and a half. And she loves fooling around and doing it and everything. But afterwards, she gets all pissed at me because she's always told me that if I did that, I'm disrespecting her and stuff like that. But she's always the one who like push it. I instigate it, but she like really gets into it. Like she can't help herself.

1:30:09🔗 Drew And then she blames you for pulling her into it.

1:30:11🔗 Caller Yeah. And then she will totally ditch me and like won't talk to me for a couple of days.

1:30:16🔗 Drew That is craziness. Then what that is, that's that's somebody who's got significant issues about her sexuality, where she feels somehow exploited or she can't contain herself because she's so used to being.

1:30:29🔗 Adam You know, there are bogus qualities.

1:30:30🔗 Drew There is a bogus quality. There is definitely a bogus.

1:30:33🔗 Adam It's such a boring question, though. It's got to be real.

1:30:36🔗 Caller Well, she, she really like we were one time. I'm just teasing her. I just playing with her upper part. And I was right by her parents and she she tried to give me head right in front of her parents. That's how crazy she gets about it.

1:30:51🔗 Adam That happens all the time. My sister used to embarrass the family that way.

1:30:56🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:30:57🔗 Adam Bring her boyfriend over for Thanksgiving. That's back in high school. Of course. Try to perform oral on him, you know.

1:31:03🔗 Caller Oh, we graduated last year, so.

1:31:05🔗 Adam Okay. So you're saying that she attempted to give you oral sex in front of her parents.

1:31:10🔗 Caller Well, they weren't watching. Their backs were to us, but we went to, it was last year actually. And we, I went with her family to get a Christmas tree. We were in the back of the van. And that's when she started.

1:31:22🔗 Drew Specific enough, right?

1:31:23🔗 Adam Uh-huh. Yeah.

1:31:25🔗 Drew All right. So, whatever. The point is that she has significant conflicts, ambivalence about her sexuality, and that she feels somehow exploited, even though she's the one that really picks it up, moves it along. She blames you for doing that.

1:31:37🔗 Adam You need to not get her pregnant.

1:31:39🔗 Caller Oh boy.

1:31:40🔗 Adam Man, you need to not get her pregnant.

1:31:42🔗 Drew And she may be a little more of a project than you're ready for at 19.

1:31:45🔗 Caller Yeah, probably. Yeah. All right, great.

1:31:49🔗 Drew I love you guys.

1:31:50🔗 Adam All right. All right, buddy. God bless you. Yeah, let's just talk about the nutty broad for a second and the 19-year-old male's inability to cope or deal or manage with that. It is really, you would be better off just working on the gyro guidance system on the space shuttle.

1:32:10🔗 Drew You'd be better equipped for that.

1:32:11🔗 Adam Yes, you would.

1:32:12🔗 Drew With no scientific training.

1:32:13🔗 Adam Better shot. Just you and a soldering iron. You would be better off doing that. You really would because you don't realize the depths of how screwed up people can be and how tightly wound a lot of women are. And how complicated they are. And you call it horny or you call her mean or you call her moody.

1:32:42🔗 Drew Oh, no, no, no, no.

1:32:44🔗 Adam Much, much more than that.

1:32:44🔗 Drew But the other thing is people don't appreciate. There's no appreciation in our culture of how things could be experienced by other people. In other words, for you, it could be just a simple conversation and for her, it's exploitative and provocative. And by the same token, people are not objective about how they react to situations that shouldn't be so evocative. Is it interesting? We have no appreciation of other people's brains working different than ours, nor do we have an appreciation of when ours are off track.

1:33:12🔗 Adam Yeah, like that a-hole that was blocking me in last night.

1:33:15🔗 Drew There you go.

1:33:16🔗 Adam Yeah, I didn't appreciate him not having a brain.

1:33:19🔗 Drew Right.

1:33:19🔗 Adam All right, let's keep going here, Drew. What do you say, buddy?

1:33:22🔗 Drew Break it down.

1:33:22🔗 Adam Let's break it down. I say we got to get it on.

1:33:25🔗 Drew Michelle's upset.

1:33:27🔗 Adam We didn't play any Ace's Grand Cherokee Mexican accordion.

1:33:29🔗 Drew I can see it all over her face. She saw us breaking it down, going to a call. She saw us sink.

1:33:33🔗 Adam Yeah, you're right. We haven't played that all night.

1:33:35🔗 Drew Yeah. Just for Michelle.

1:33:37🔗 Adam And I think I've been winning in this game too.

1:33:39🔗 Drew You got some good hits in the last couple of games.

1:33:41🔗 Adam Yeah. All right, Drew, as you know, as you know, in Ace's Mexican Ranchero accordion countdown, this is the game where we play a cut of Ranchero music, somewhere in the middle, could be at the end, could be at the beginning, just somewhere in progress. And we guess how long before the accordion music comes in. Drew?

1:34:03🔗 Drew You bet first. Because you've been doing too well with the last bet.

1:34:09🔗 Adam Four seconds.

1:34:10🔗 Drew Five seconds.

1:34:11🔗 Caller Oh.

1:34:13🔗 Adam And Drew, that's a pussy's bet. No, I was thinking five.

1:34:17🔗 Drew I was thinking five. What if I'm right on?

1:34:19🔗 Adam Because then if it's 19 seconds, you're right.

1:34:21🔗 Drew I know, but I don't care then. If it's more than eight seconds, I don't care.

1:34:25🔗 Adam It still goes down as a W.

1:34:26🔗 Drew If it goes more than eight, we start over.

1:34:27🔗 Adam Okay.

1:34:28🔗 Drew All right. You've got to... Yeah, it goes more than nine.

1:34:31🔗 Adam Okay.

1:34:32🔗 Drew It should be sort of a rule of the game.

1:34:33🔗 Adam Okay. Let me just... Well, but what if someone takes 12?

1:34:38🔗 Drew But it shouldn't be...

1:34:40🔗 Adam Say yeah, but still.

1:34:40🔗 Drew Yeah, but still. Okay.

1:34:42🔗 Caller All right.

1:34:43🔗 Drew I'm just saying.

1:34:44🔗 Caller All right.

1:34:44🔗 Adam Three, two, one, go.

1:34:48🔗 Drew Immediate.

1:34:49🔗 Adam Yeah, that's immediate. But keep it going. Yeah, that's it.

1:34:52🔗 Drew This is the Ranchera music I know and I love.

1:34:55🔗 Adam This is what you grew up listening to? It was blaring through the Pinsky house as a youth?

1:35:01🔗 Drew Well, no, this was in New England when I was in college.

1:35:03🔗 Adam Oh, it's college.

1:35:05🔗 Drew Wherever you go. It's almost like hotels and airports, they have it blaring wherever you go.

1:35:11🔗 Adam Like music or something?

1:35:12🔗 Drew Music in the background. This is what you hear all throughout the college.

1:35:14🔗 Adam Right. So set the scene.

1:35:16🔗 Drew It's New England, circa 1977, January. Twenty below for two weeks straight.

1:35:22🔗 Adam Snow coming down.

1:35:23🔗 Drew College on the hill that Lord Jeffrey Amherst.

1:35:25🔗 Adam Amherst College.

1:35:26🔗 Drew Gave his name to.

1:35:27🔗 Adam Beautiful in New England. And the leaves fall off the tree.

1:35:30🔗 Caller They're all gone.

1:35:32🔗 Drew It's ice. It's 20 below. For weeks.

1:35:34🔗 Adam And there's smoke coming out of the chimneys. People have fires.

1:35:38🔗 Drew You have to have scarves wrapped around your face. It's so-called that. But you can still hear when you go outside the music. This is amazing. The outdoor speakers. This is what you hear.

1:35:45🔗 Adam And now you're in your dorm room and you're studying for chemistry. Calculus, the final. And this is your theme.

1:35:53🔗 Drew This and I think they cart too. But I was studying.

1:35:57🔗 Adam And people are drinking like a hot tomato soup and a hot apple cider.

1:36:02🔗 Drew Hot chocolate, donuts, the maple of syrup.

1:36:06🔗 Adam It's a football game. People are tailgating.

1:36:09🔗 Drew It's yeah. You know, the music. Yes, of course. Still then there was music. It's not specific to the picture. But of course, you're around.

1:36:19🔗 Adam And this is you got a fire going. That guy, that guy, you look out the window and you see this.

1:36:26🔗 Drew That's what I see. I have a flashback.

1:36:31🔗 Caller Oh, yes, I see it.

1:36:32🔗 Caller Cold, cold.

1:36:35🔗 Adam I'm picturing like a gingerbread house. When I hit the smoke come from the chimney. So mind you, mind you, New England in the in the wintertime.

1:36:46🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:36:47🔗 Caller Thank you for indulging me. Oh, I got a surprise. I'll bring some Christmas friends, Cheryl.

1:36:52🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

1:36:54🔗 Drew Oh, Michelle, that's genius.

1:36:56🔗 Caller Really?

1:36:59🔗 Adam I'm not sure if I can handle that. Wow. Christmas friends, Cheryl music. That that is. Yeah.

1:37:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:37:10🔗 Adam All right. Let me look forward to that. Are you ready, Drew?

1:37:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:37:14🔗 Adam Mike.

1:37:15🔗 Caller Yeah. Yes, sir. I love you.

1:37:20🔗 Adam Loving you, buddy. You're dating a 30 year old lady.

1:37:23🔗 Caller Actually, I'm seeing her. You know what I mean? We're not dating because every time we see each other, we just, you know, do the right thing and, you know, like we see each other a couple of days. And after that, we just don't talk for three days.

1:37:38🔗 Drew What's your question?

1:37:39🔗 Caller After that, I'm like, I don't know what to do. And she's like, let's be friends. But every time we see each other, it's like.

1:37:47🔗 Drew So she wants the sex to stop and you guys just to revert back to friends or is it that she wants the sex to continue but she wants to be sure it doesn't go further? Which is.

1:37:57🔗 Caller She just wants to be friends after we.

1:37:59🔗 Drew Roll the sex back. Stop. Stop having the sex, right?

1:38:03🔗 Caller Right.

1:38:04🔗 Adam Is she divorced?

1:38:06🔗 Caller Well, no, she actually. Yeah, she's divorced.

1:38:09🔗 Drew Here's what this is. This is this is she's she's lonely.

1:38:12🔗 Adam I do a love line recreation there. Go ahead.

1:38:15🔗 Drew What was she divorced?

1:38:17🔗 Adam Well, no. Well, yeah. Really? Yeah, that even that one's got to be volleyed. It's got to be kicked around.

1:38:27🔗 Drew You know, whatever the question is. No, but let's here's the deal. This is a woman who is alone and lonely. You have a penis?

1:38:33🔗 Adam No, I mean.

1:38:34🔗 Drew And wants to get on with her life, but got sort of wrapped into this thing that took off for her. Then she wanted to try to put a post up to it.

1:38:39🔗 Adam All right, Mike. So she's divorced. Does she have any kids? No, 19. Yeah.

1:38:45🔗 Drew All right, we got to go.

1:38:47🔗 Adam All right, buddy. Look, don't get her pregnant.

1:38:49🔗 Drew Stop. Let it go back to Franz. It's fine. It's going to be hard for you. You're 22. No, don't go back to Franz. Start dating.

1:38:53🔗 Adam It doesn't work. Just start dating. It's fine. Nice 19-year-old junior college student. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Yeah.

1:39:20🔗 Drew Hey, cool. What's that? What's going on here?

1:39:21🔗 Adam What's that there?

1:39:22🔗 Drew What's going on there?

1:39:23🔗 Adam Is that, is that it? You got dent in your face, or is that it?

1:39:27🔗 Caller Is that apple grin on your head?

1:39:29🔗 Drew What is that?

1:39:30🔗 Adam Shopping cart. Guy let it go and it rolled down and put a dent in my head. Yeah. Well, what's this? What happened here? You know what I like to do? Just make a fist and just punch a guy right in the face. Hey, what happened there? You're bleeding from your eye. What happened? Oh, it was my ring.

1:39:50🔗 Caller All right.

1:39:51🔗 Adam Let's take a little extendo break, shall we, Drew?

1:39:54🔗 Caller Let's do.

1:39:55🔗 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:40:00🔗 Caller Is it Germany or Florida? I am a huge fan of the show, by the way. Grabbing me. That's German is not a cheer. Grabbing me.

1:40:10🔗 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:40:14🔗 Adam The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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