1:01🔗VoiceoverLoveline may contain sexually-oriented content.
1:03🔗VoiceoverSexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.
1:19🔗AdamHey everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. I'm Adam Corolla. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. And it's our pleasure to welcome back to the show, Dave Navarro.
3:08🔗AdamIt's got a little Beelzebub in him. That's all I'm saying. Dave's got a book out, which I thought was his second book using the photo booth that he has in the front of his house. But as it turns out, it's the first one.
3:20🔗DrewIt's the first one. Well, actually, it was supposed to come out in 2001. And I yanked it off the shelves. Why? Because I felt that the content was irresponsible. First, OK, basically, for those of you listening, it's a book about a year in my life. And it was a very dark year of drug addiction and just debauchery and the whole thing. And at the end of it, I get my life together, get clean. But at the time, in 2001, there was content in there that wasn't necessarily responsible. So right now, what it is, it's a very non-glamorous look at drug addiction. And there's a very positive message at the end. The proceeds go to MAP. Oh, really? Musicians. Wow. Musicians Assistance Program. And also there were elements like, you know, things about my family I didn't necessarily want to put out, you know. I felt like I could say anything I want about my own life, but if it comes to somebody else's life, I don't really have the right.
4:08🔗AdamSo there were some tweaks, revisions, or was it just to tear it up and start fresh?
4:14🔗DrewNo, no, no, we just took, I just took out some stuff that didn't pertain to me. And as far as the booth thing, the initial idea was to just have people come in and take pictures and throw that book out.
4:23🔗DrewAnd I got Neil Strauss to co-write this with me over the course of that year, and the story became something totally else. It became about a guy who is on a real dark path and like finds his way out. And the pictures are in there because we took them, but they really have nothing to do with the text.
4:40🔗DrewJust 2003 to 2004. I'm joking. Is it? It just ended, right? No, it's 98 to 99.
4:48🔗AdamAnd would you say that was your worst year in terms of addiction?
4:51🔗DrewYeah, definitely. Definitely. This is pretty much my bottom.
4:56🔗AdamThis is the year you were just bottoming out.
4:58🔗DrewYeah, this is the worst. So if you're struggling with addiction and you want to see somebody who got through it, this is for you. And if you don't struggle with addiction and you want some good anecdotes, it's also for you.
5:10🔗AdamAnd because when Dave was on Loveline, the TV show about four or five years back, I remember we had an extensive. Drew, give me the book, would you? Start doing your job. You can pay to read a picture book, you understand? Not in the lobby of a dentist's office. You're on the radio, buddy. Let's go, let's focus. I talk my ass off. Now, when you were on the show like five years ago, you were telling me about this booth. Give me the book, Drew, give me the book. Come on, focus, buddy.
5:36🔗DrewYeah, when we did that, it was gonna come out, it was gonna come out just as like a book of photography. And then we got the text together. And when Neil Strauss, the guy who wrote the Manson book and he wrote the Neil, you know, the-
5:49🔗DrewJenna Jameson and the Motley Crue book and so forth, he gave me the text and it was pretty intense. It was like a real dark time in my life.
5:58🔗Dave NavarroDid he just sit down, you talked to him for a few days and he sort of-
6:00🔗DrewHe actually hung out with me for that entire year. Ooh. So a lot of this stuff is in the present tense. Like it's literal conversations that were tape recorded. Yeah, just transcribed.
6:10🔗AdamAnd you were just high and running at the mouth?
6:13🔗DrewYeah, but it wasn't that like, you know, pseudo interesting intellectual conversation stuff. It was like insanity stuff, you know?
6:42🔗DrewNo more enemas, too, of course. Let's not leave those out.
6:44🔗AdamYeah, because someone else is focusing on the Valerian Root coming out of your ass. That Swedish chick. Yeah.
6:51🔗DrewHey, I'll tell you, if any Swedish chick is focusing on that, I'm going to stay doing what I'm doing.
6:55🔗AdamHow about that? How often do you get the enema?
6:59🔗DrewThe enema, well, let's make it, it's hydrocholine therapy. The enema is just a little bag you get in the supermarket.
7:04🔗AdamSorry, I didn't mean to belittle your enema.
7:07🔗DrewYeah, no, no, no, I go for it all the way. It's like anything, that addictive nature is still there.
7:11🔗AdamOnce a week? What can I put you down for?
7:13🔗DrewI haven't been in a few months, actually. It's been a few months.
7:16🔗AdamWow, so you get one of those notes like the dentist gives you when it's time for cleaning, it's efforts, a brush and an ant.
7:22🔗DrewAnd instead of a picture of teeth, instead of a picture of teeth, it's a picture of my ass. But it still says smile, which is interesting.
7:30🔗AdamYeah, I always like that with the dentists. Like, do they have to make a 40 year old guys feel like they're in the third grade? Is everything a picture of a giant tooth who's frowning, holding a novelty size toothbrush and Mr. Floss is standing there? How about an adult one?
7:47🔗DrewYou know what, the thing is that they want you to fear it. Like, you know, like when you were a kid.
7:52🔗AdamI get angry though. I find it belittling or condescending.
7:56🔗DrewAnd they're trying to call up those juvenile, you know, feelings of fear with the dentist.
8:00🔗AdamAnd yeah, well it works. Yeah, it definitely works. So, by the way, Dave's gonna be doing an in-store Tuesday. That's tomorrow.
8:09🔗Dave NavarroIs there a sign in your book? Yeah.
8:10🔗AdamYeah. That's Tuesday at Universal City Walk at seven o'clock. And then on Thursday over at Book Soup on Sunset in West Hollywood.
8:21🔗DrewI'm doing a little interpretive dance thing prior to the signing. So you get there early.
8:25🔗AdamYou don't wanna miss that. I'm gonna give the book back to Drew. I just had to give him a little time out. But it's a substantial book. What do you, what do you got there? Two, three, 311. 258, I know it. Thick pages, though. It's a little bit of a coffee table.
8:41🔗DrewYeah, it kind of is. And in terms of it being paperback, I don't think it'll work.
8:46🔗AdamNo, no. You can't stuff that one in your backpack.
8:49🔗DrewBut it's cool. It's from 1998 to 1999. It's 12 months. It's from June to June.
8:55🔗AdamDrew, have you seen any celebrity pictures in there, by the way?
9:00🔗AdamYeah, because the deal is, is everyone who came through your front door had to be photographed.
9:04🔗DrewYeah, so whether it was like Kurt Loder who was over doing an interview with me, I just said, hey, get in the booth. Actually, that's where TRL got the booth idea. Oh, really? Was when Kurt was over doing the piece. Yeah.
9:15🔗AdamJeez, and you don't get a taste of that, though.
9:17🔗DrewI don't get a taste. I get a small thank you at the front of the book that they put out.
9:28🔗Dave NavarroAre you kidding? Are you kidding?
9:30🔗AdamLittle tight with the purse strings. I can't believe it, Drew. For the first two seasons, we actually had to pay them to do the show. Remember that, Drew?
9:37🔗DrewYeah, my wife and I are still paying off our reality series.
9:42🔗AdamReally, it's really, it's like, they are what, like, Gazari's, the whiskey turned into, which was bands would buy the space, pay up front, and then have to charge everyone they worked with for 13 bucks.
9:54🔗DrewGazari's was, like, basically run by the mob, wasn't it? I mean, it's just like an outfit. It's like a black hand.
9:59🔗AdamI guess with a name like Gazari's, you have to figure it's not a deli. You gotta figure there's a little mob influence in there. Lisa?
10:40🔗My question is, I'm going to be taking Plan B this evening and this will be my third time, I believe, this year, or no, third time in my life.
10:51🔗Dave NavarroWhat is Plan B? Plan B is an emergency contraceptive. It's what you use if a condom breaks or something. It prevents pregnancy after the fact.
10:59🔗DrewOh, you know, a trip to Disneyland would also be, you know, a little bit more fun. Go on the spin out.
11:08🔗Dave NavarroCentrifugal sperm right out of you? No.
11:10🔗AdamYou can't go, you can't wear panties in the teacups, but it will get it out of you. I've done it.
11:15🔗Dave NavarroSo you've done it three times in your life or three times this year?
11:18🔗No, this will be my second time this year and I was wondering if there's long-term side effects?
11:23🔗Dave NavarroAbsolutely none. There's something like, somewhere at 20 million usages in Europe, not a single side of it. You can't say that of Tylenol, Aspirin, any other medicine.
11:34🔗Dave NavarroIt's over the counter in most states and there's this crazy energy around it because people believe that since you take it after it, of course, it must be an abortion.
11:42🔗DrewAnd it's life. I mean, what's going to happen when we get, if Bush goes into an office and we get the new Supreme Justice, it doesn't have anything to do with it. It doesn't, they can still buy this?
11:51🔗Dave NavarroIt takes three days for the sperm to reach the egg. And so this suppresses the egg from being released. So the sperm just hangs out there and dies basically.
11:58🔗AdamIt was, to me, this is a shining example of our politicians failing us completely. When I confronted that nut job, Maxine Waters, and I'm back on Politically Incorrect, you never heard of it. Plan B. Yeah, basically here it is. Here's this pill that'll stop abortions, essentially, if we can get it in the hands of the people who got drunk and had sex the night before and then realized or the condom broke or they were raped by their stepbrother or whatever it went on. Here's your pill that you get to take that is not an abortion pill, that gets, you don't have to wait around for the stork to either show up or not show up now. It's no more waiting. You just pay me the bill.
12:46🔗Dave NavarroYou're screwed. This 30 bucks can go any pharmacy.
12:48🔗DrewLet's hope that we can order drugs from Canada.
12:50🔗AdamThe point is, is Kmart, I think, or Walmart dropped it?
12:53🔗Dave NavarroWalmart dropped it because there was all this crazy, no one was reading the science. They just believed somehow magically it prevented implantation, like a fertilized egg from being implanted. It doesn't do that. It doesn't do that anymore than the birth control pill used before you have intercourse. My question, Lisa, is why so frequent with this and why not?
13:10🔗AdamTwo times in a year. She probably humps nine times a day. If you do the math, it's not a small percentage.
13:16🔗Dave NavarroShe should be on the birth control pill routinely and not be using the emergency method.
13:41🔗AdamNo, I know and I don't understand where the politicians were on this and how come no one ever piped up? And I know it sounds convenient. We're just blowing our own horns here. This is the only program, the only place, the only outlet I ever heard anyone ever bring it up or discuss it.
13:57🔗Dave NavarroI'm angry that I took all that semis about it. Remember the crap I took for so long?
14:29🔗Dave NavarroThere's absolutely no evidence that does anything bad.
14:32🔗DrewBut it's been out for five minutes too. But if you.
14:34🔗Dave NavarroThey've been doing this a long time. You know. Listen, every doctor gets a call from a woman going, my honeymoon's coming up next week, how do I do this? And we routinely tell them, just stay on it. We've done that forever.
14:46🔗DrewNo, but I'm talking about the new stuff.
14:48🔗Dave NavarroIt's the same thing. It's just not, it's not cycling. It's just don't skip the week. Just keep taking your breath control pill continuously. And we have done that.
14:56🔗Dave NavarroWe've done that forever for patients.
14:58🔗DrewAll right, so if somebody's on hold and that was a question, you can hang up.
15:01🔗AdamYeah, perfect. Fortunately, we didn't have any of them, Dave. Let's move on with the show.
15:06🔗Dave NavarroWhat were you gonna say? That you were gonna say something about the Plan B again?
15:10🔗AdamI'm just, you know, I have general disdain and disgust for everybody in charge. I, you know, I'm angry, here's where I'm angry at. I'm angry at the super right-wing, Bible-thumping, hypocritical pussies who claim they're against abortion and then somebody comes up with a good idea to stem the tide of abortion and they come out full force against it. And then I'm against ultra left-wing pussies again, who just sort of, they're just so busy worrying about the tundra in Alaska that they can't get their head out of their ass long enough to read a science paper and then pipe up by the way. Say, no, hey, hey, Bible-thumper, sit down. Here's the truth about this. You wanna debate me on it or shut up?
15:54🔗Dave NavarroNo, the left-wing part of it is, how dare you make these people manage their reproductive health? How dare you, Adam? You're gonna tell them, excuse me, when they can have kids and when they can't? Come on now, who do you think you are?
16:07🔗AdamThey're just out of it. They're just out of it and they're more interested in cries of racism than they are of actually doing anything. That's what I realized when I was talking to Maxine Waters. She's like, oh, it has nothing to do with racism or busing or the man keeping anyone down, so forget about it. Meanwhile, your constituency is the number one group that could use this pill. They're not interested, doesn't know about it. It just disgusts me and it disgusts me that we never hear it anywhere else and nobody's interested and nobody argues about it. I don't know what's going on. Here's a pill that can stop abortion. Anyone interested? Nah, not really.
16:43🔗DrewSo, I mean, there's somebody who's gonna argue about everything you got.
16:46🔗AdamIt's not readily available or it hasn't been readily, and Drew, no, don't answer it like that. It's confusing. For 10 years, it hasn't been available. People have had to get prescriptions and get notes and get doctors. These are 15-year-old girls. They don't call their doctor, you know what I mean? They just go without.
17:03🔗Dave NavarroThe American Medical Women's Association.
17:06🔗Dave NavarroI did a campaign with the American Medical Women's Association seven years ago, where they were saying every woman should have this in their medicine cabinet, just on hand, just in case.
17:20🔗DrewYou know what I'm saying? Take it. I mean, that's the thing. If you take this drug and you put it on the market, I guarantee you there's gonna be women out there who's gonna take it every day they have sex.
17:28🔗AdamWell, that's just birth control. It's called birth control.
17:30🔗Dave NavarroThat's all it is, is the normal birth control pill.
17:32🔗DrewBut the ones that aren't in birth control take the Plan B. That's what I'm saying.
17:47🔗Yeah, yeah, hey, I just wanna say, Adam, you're my hero. I've been listening to you guys for a long time, but haven't been able to listen recently. I moved to the Bible Belt in the solo Christian hole I live in. It's been terrible. It's terrible, man, it's awful. Like, we don't get any Howard Stern or any good radio shows out here, but I just call you guys for advice. I also wanna say, Dave Navarro, congratulations on putting out a book, like your music, got a decent looking wife, Drew, brilliant.
18:18🔗CallerYeah, Drew, brilliant, completely brilliant. I feel like your stuff on TLC, when I watch TV, you get interviewed every once in a while. He's on MSNBC and all these cool new shows.
18:26🔗AdamYeah, all right, Shane, thanks for the rundown.
18:41🔗CallerPregnant, yeah, she's definitely pregnant. I'm not the father, but I want to know what kind of repercussions I could have if I had sex with her while she's pregnant. I mean, I'm not like particularly huge, I just don't want to damage the kid or anything in there, you know?
18:56🔗DrewThere's a possibility that if you have sex with a pregnant woman that you're going to wake up one day, maybe seven, eight years from now and go, what the hell have I done with my life?
19:07🔗AdamYeah, it is kind of weird. I mean, when it's not your kid.
19:14🔗CallerA month and a half, I guess. You can hardly tell, like she's probably.
19:18🔗AdamHere's my feeling, you got to find out whether what's in her is a dude or a chick, because if it's a chick, that's a threesome and that's cool, but if it's a dude, that's gay. That's weird.
19:36🔗Dave NavarroUp through the six months, you don't have to worry about anything. Provided that you wear a condom and you practice careful, safe sex and she's not having any.
19:43🔗CallerI have to wear a condom though, because I know she got her, I took her, I take her to the doctor, I take her back and forth to the doctor.
20:06🔗CallerHer friends, none of her friends talked to her anymore. Like in the South, you get alienated when you get pregnant, the church stops talking to you, your family won't talk to you anymore, it's terrible.
20:38🔗AdamStop your rap for a second. Let me explain something. Okay, I'm putting him on hold because he talks too much. Here's the situation. He is essentially explaining to us that he wants to build a space shuttle.
20:52🔗AdamAnd launch it to Mars. And he wants to know our advice on liquid fuel versus a gas form. And I'm telling you right now, scrub the mission, son. You're in way over your head. The chick's pregnant. She was abused. She's got 1,000 million pounds. You're picking up the pieces. And by the way, Shane is not able to get any chicks that aren't damaged goods, essentially. He can't just date some 16-year-old that's on the cheerleading squad over at his high school. So he's shifting over and going for some damaged goods. These people deserve our compassion, but you're getting dug in.
21:27🔗DrewThere's also something to be said for, this guy just expressed how he's not happy with where he's living. It's probably a small, boring town. To invite that kind of drama into your life. You know what I'm saying? That's something to focus on all of a sudden.
21:40🔗AdamYou will get hot. Here, let me just do the math. 17, you guys hang out. You become some real surrogate dad. Next year, you get pregnant a year from now. And then you're locked in this Bum F USA for the rest of your life. All right, Shane, you understand I'm a genius and Drew's a man of exquisite passion. And Dave is played with the chili peppers. Quiet down. Nothing else came to mind. The point is this, we all concur. We have 80 years of, ooh, make it like a hundred years of wisdom between the two of us, the three of us. And we all say, get away. That's it. Scrub it. Scrub it. And look, here's the deal. Okay, here's the rule for guys. If you can't get laid in high school, you're not allowed to go find damaged goods or fix or upper projects. You just don't get laid in high school. You can't go find the hair, the chick is strung out on heroin, his boyfriend is dating a junkie, he's beating her and collect the pieces. Uh-uh, you can't get to prank the chick, his dad beat him and left. Uh-uh, it's not fair to them and it's not gonna ultimately be fair to you. You hang out, try to get laid in high school, find a fat chick if you have to, but you can't just go get the damaged goods projects.
22:52🔗AdamWell, I'm just, you know, just as a stepping stone, as a builder, that's all I'm saying. Dave knows what I'm talking about. He never had to go there, but a lot of us, you know.
23:02🔗DrewI never had to go there, but still, it took me a long time to get away from the damaged goods.
23:07🔗DrewBecause that's why I brought up the whole thing about it, not, you know, you end up not focusing on your own world.
23:12🔗Dave NavarroYou, do you have any stories about that in the book?
23:14🔗DrewNo. Because we were talking about this earlier.
23:17🔗Dave NavarroBut there's a lot of damaged goods hanging around your house.
23:19🔗DrewThere's definitely a lot, but you know, the thing is I was so high that, you know, I was not interested in having sex with any of these people. Really? Yeah. In fact, there's lots of hookers that come in here, lots of beautiful women that came over to my house at that time, but I was just so out of my mind that I'd rather, as I said before, trace the hardwood floor with a pencil than have any kind of sexual stimulation happen.
23:40🔗Dave NavarroCould you imagine being on the floor there, just tracing?
23:42🔗DrewJust tracing the grain that's already there, just kind of highlighting it. It's a really important project.
23:47🔗AdamWas it like a quarter sawn oak, T and G?
23:52🔗DrewI think it was an oak. I believe it was an oak.
23:54🔗AdamProbably was an oak. It was an older house. You get that quarter sawn. It's got a beautiful tiger grain to it.
24:00🔗Dave NavarroIt's all highlighted now by graphite.
24:02🔗DrewThe point is being that I had all these amazing looking women over my house and I didn't touch one of them. Now I look back on this thing, I masturbate looking at my own book.
24:10🔗AdamWas it a Pagan groove type design on the?
24:29🔗DrewIt was much more interesting to work with.
24:30🔗AdamWe're doing the pegs, you're doing the dowels.
24:32🔗DrewOh yeah, it was much more interesting medium I found.
24:34🔗AdamAll right, there's a V groove going in there, Drew. You know what I'm saying? Got it. All right, we'll take a quick break. Dave Navarro, here tonight, got a new book out called Don't Try This At Home, and we'll be right back after this.
25:10🔗DrewI know, but it just, you know, rarely does a guest ever get a word in Edgewise, so I wanted to throw that in there and just acknowledge that I'm here.
25:21🔗AdamNo, Dave Navarro here, and Dr. Drew, of course, Dave's got himself a book out called The Don't Try This at Home. It is sort of half between a coffee table book and a novel. It is got, here's the thing. Here's my assessment. It's so, if you like reading, it's good. And if you like looking at pictures, it's good.
25:44🔗DrewAnd the chapters are short, so you can actually keep it in the bathroom and just get through it over the course of the year. Five minutes at a time.
26:21🔗Dave NavarroI've had great experience with her top to bottom, except that one day.
26:26🔗AdamWe had, there was gonna be a Loveline book, or maybe we did do a Loveline book, but anyway, someone wanted to do a book, some sort of Loveline book, and Judith Regan was one of the first people we met with, and it was supposed to be a big thrill for us to meet Judith Regan.
26:42🔗DrewOh yeah, if it's not a thrill for you, you got problems out the gate.
26:45🔗AdamShe was coming off of doing Stern's book, I think, and it was considered a coup that we could meet the great Judith Regan in the lobby of her hotel. So we set up a meeting for, I don't know, noon, and she rolled down about a half hour late with no apologies, no explanations, in the lobby of her own hotel, by the way. Sexy for everyone else. Then basically proceeded to explain to Drew and our idiot manager and his wife why nobody wanted the Loveline book because no one had heard of Loveline, and everyone just nodded like bobblehead dolls. And by the way, Drew, I want an apology that's written on the AIDS quilt from you. It's gotta be that big. For all the times we've had the meetings where I've been the only one to raise my hand and say, wait a minute, no, you're wrong. That's not what's going on.
27:39🔗DrewWhy would you take a meeting with someone that you're not interested in working with? I just wouldn't take the meeting.
27:43🔗AdamI didn't have any idea I wasn't interested in working with her until I find out what conceded.
27:47🔗DrewNo, clearly she wasn't interested in you guys.
27:49🔗AdamBut why would she do it? Well, that's a good point. I think she just-
27:53🔗AdamWanted to rub our nose in something and we could all kiss her ring or bow at her altar. And I was the only one who said, at a certain point, I said, look, you don't know who we are. That's fine. That doesn't mean we don't have fans who do know who we are and wanna write, wanna hear what we have to say.
28:10🔗Dave NavarroI think you, now that I know her very, very well, I think you've sort of missed how she works, really.
28:15🔗AdamShe wanted to write a book on chivalry. Drew was nodding his head like a bobblehead doll and I was the only one who said, no, look, if we write a book, it's gotta be the Loveline book. It's not Adam and Drew talk about chivalry.
28:40🔗AdamYeah, yeah. Nah, I just really didn't like her much.
28:43🔗Dave NavarroWould you rather work with her or the a-holes we did work with?
28:47🔗AdamNobody, really. Look, I'm sure she's good at what she does. She was a bitch, that's all I'm saying, and she was full of herself and I didn't need it. That's all. And by the way, she's got a crappy talk show on deep cable and she can kiss my ass.
29:15🔗AdamYeah, Drew. Drew, you never get tired of being nice to bad people. Crappy people. Leave them alone. Just call them bad. When someone comes up to the airport at us and starts yelling at you, where do you get, don't don't, just tell them to F off.
29:28🔗Dave NavarroI was thinking, the stranger I was thinking about that today, I was thinking about some of the experiences we've had about that.
29:32🔗AdamThank you. Judith Regan was a bitch to us and she can kiss my ass. Who cares?
29:42🔗CallerOkay, I have a question. Okay, I'm 21 and I've never had an orgasm before and I've heard girls talk about why we cause them a lot and I guess there's this pleasure point and I've used my vibrator and I felt this with a pleasure point where it's like you pee, but it's not pee.
31:35🔗Dave NavarroThey say take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth. So here's the deal. That you should never, you should not expect to have an orgasm with intercourse. That's not gonna happen. Okay. You can possibly with oral sex, but that's gonna take some time. And you're sort of hitting an age where that normally kind of comes online and it should be getting easier for you about now.
31:55🔗DrewBut look out when it happens because it is gonna open a world for you.
31:59🔗Dave NavarroBut it's not gonna be with intercourse.
32:00🔗AdamBy the way, I wanna give you, I wanna give you points for shutting up.
32:04🔗Dave NavarroAnd everything you read in Cosmo is sort of BS.
32:06🔗DrewGot real quiet, didn't you? I heard crickets coming off the other end of the phone.
32:10🔗AdamHey, Sarah. Yeah. You have a boyfriend? And they never been abused?
32:20🔗Dave NavarroAll right, well then the things have been worse. By the way, Adam brought that up a long time ago and asked about your abuse and you were the voice where you sound like a five-year-old.
32:31🔗DrewWhat does that say about society? That, you know, like you ask, have you been abused? And she's like, oh, yeah.
32:37🔗CallerOh, because I'm, I'm really, I'm really, Is it just that common? No, no, no.
32:41🔗AdamListen, oh, hold on, hold on. Her answer was, when I heard it in her voice that she had the little girl voice, thus I knew she was sexually abused, her answer was, yeah, yeah, I look really young. Mm-hmm.
33:18🔗AdamNo, no, no. All right, hold on a second. I just said if you're sexually abused, you gotta get some therapy. Oh, no, you misunderstood. I was sexually abused when I was three. Oh, really? I thought we were gonna build a time machine and go into the future. And have you sexually abused in your 80s? You were saying it happened before when you were young. Oh, in that case, well, if it didn't happen this week, you're fine. There's no proms.
33:40🔗Dave NavarroYou know, I was thinking about women. I was thinking about women in the Cosmo magazine. Let me switch gears for one second.
33:44🔗AdamThat does just dispatch with Sarah. Sarah. You gotta stop your rap. You were-
33:50🔗Dave NavarroShe may be bipolar. She's not a man again.
33:52🔗AdamOkay, you need to get some therapy. Can you get some therapy?
33:56🔗CallerWell, oh, I've been through all that. I'm good now. I honestly am.
34:00🔗AdamNo, you're not good now. You're not good. If you're good, how could I tell?
34:07🔗AdamHow did I know you were sexually abused if you're fine?
34:10🔗CallerBecause most of the people who call are.
34:12🔗AdamThat's uncrude. It's only 65% of the people that call the show.
34:17🔗DrewHey, you know what, Sarah? I think your voice sounds sexy as hell.
34:19🔗Dave NavarroWell, of course it does. Daryl Monroe is a sexually abused-
34:22🔗CallerHonestly, too, I love your guys' show just like everyone else, and I always laugh at all the people that you put on hold, and I swear I never thought I'd be one of those people.
34:31🔗AdamAll right, you got a sense of humor, but please-
34:34🔗AdamYou're smart, so get some therapy, would you?
34:36🔗Dave NavarroLet's get back to it a little bit, and you're preoccupying-
34:39🔗CallerI'm just wondering, not trying to argue, really not, why do you think I need therapy? And I know you're the expert and not me, just wondering.
34:47🔗DrewClearly I can get this one, is because if you have dealt with something like that in your life that is so traumatic, that at some point you need to address it and deal with it and move through it.
34:57🔗CallerOh, I've been, I went through so much therapy and it was good for me and I'm happy and I go through it all the time, you know, I hear a lot of other girls talk about rape or you know, I just get them through that. So I think therapy is always good for everyone, even if you've never been through anything. And I mean, I could go to therapy tomorrow and be proud of myself, but-
35:15🔗DrewWell, let me ask these guys something. Will that change the sound of her voice? Is there enough therapy that all of a sudden she will sound like a grown woman?
35:21🔗Dave NavarroEventually, that does tend to happen.
35:24🔗AdamIt doesn't change the tone that much, but the cadence, which is angry people have the same voice, but it doesn't sound as angry. But the tone sounds the same, and the same with people that were victimized and that kind of stuff. Yes.
35:39🔗AdamShe's got help, but when you get molested at three, you need more help.
35:46🔗Dave NavarroShe's doing a lot better, I understand, but she's sort of screwed up about her sexuality. She's trying to get glean information from Cosmo about things that are mysterious to her, not involved in her relationship, not asking for help from her boyfriend. And here's the thing about women, I was thinking about this in Cosmo and pornos and women. Women are more aroused by seeing other women have an experience than just about anything else. So they read Cosmo because it's women in spas, women talking, women, and when they watch pornos, they're watching, if the woman's having a good time, then it's arousing experience. Right.
36:17🔗DrewWell, then also the good news is that this, as you said earlier, since most women don't start having orgasms till they're in their 20s, these situations could be unrelated.
36:32🔗Dave NavarroMy concern is the way she was sort of going about it. She wasn't like communicating with her boyfriend about it. She was sort of reading Cosmo and it was all very mysterious and disconnected from her experiences. That's all abuse stuff.
37:04🔗Dave NavarroI've been talking to this boy on the internet for about three years now and I finally have the money and time to go over and visit him and he's kind of shying away and not wanting me to come. Even though the whole time we've always talked about this.
37:24🔗AdamMany times. Hold on a second. I just got to do my weight thing in my head, which is, been talking to a guy for three years. That man was like, I started everyone about 135. Now you're at 155. I've been over the internet. Pitching back by 185. He's in England. Uh-oh. 205. I'm going to see him. Oh, now we're into the high threes. Mid-high threes, 358, 360. All right, hold on a second, Susie.
37:57🔗DrewWell, if he's not interested, don't go. What are you going to do? Go, show up? I mean, let me tell you something. There's nothing that a guy hates more than a drop-by.
38:06🔗Dave NavarroAll right. We got to take a break now.
38:10🔗Dave NavarroAll right. Dave Navarro, our guest here. We're going to go back and talk to Susie about her flirtations with the UK. Internet relationship. I'm Dr. Drew. We'll be back after this.
38:30🔗AdamYou spray that on, you give stink the acts. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dave Navarro is, I was gonna say in studio tonight, but on the plot, I would say would be more accurate. He's not actually in the studio as we speak.
39:04🔗AdamOn the pot, yes. Yes, or he probably stands when he goes number one, but yeah. One would assume. So he's got one of those wild piercings. Oh yeah.
39:13🔗Dave NavarroAnd he's one of those rock and roll guys.
39:15🔗AdamYeah, if you have wild genital piercings, then you have to sit down. Or use the sink like I do.
39:47🔗AdamThey haven't seen me. And by the way, I don't limit my sink activity just my own home. Oh yes.
39:53🔗Dave NavarroOh yes, I know. I know. Oh, I know.
39:56🔗AdamI'm in the, let me, let me explain first off in the mile high club, as far as sinks go. Oh yeah. Many an airplane. I'm all over the place. I'm all over the sinks. I'm every sink, work, leisure, friends house, friends house. It doesn't matter. If I visited the Vatican, I'd take a leak in the sink. Dave used to be a sink guy.
41:00🔗DrewNah, nothing. At the end is a little tricky.
41:03🔗AdamWow, so what got you away from the sink and what can I say to get you back to it?
41:07🔗DrewI don't know if there's anything you can necessarily say to get me back, but what got me away? I think I gave up the drug abuse. It was back in those times.
41:43🔗DrewIt started off because my upstairs bathroom, I didn't want to go all the way back downstairs to use the restroom. In the upstairs restroom, the toilet was broken. And I started, kind of by chance, got into the vibe of the sink. And then I noticed I started taking it out of the place. This has also opened the shower door, just go right to the drain.
42:01🔗Dave NavarroOh, Adam, Adam, have you placed for you to go?
42:03🔗AdamIt's expanding. You guys hit number two in the shower, please. Who are you talking to? Please.
42:11🔗Dave NavarroHe talked about how he squishes it through the door.
42:13🔗AdamOh, please, Drew, it's not for everyone with the details. All right, let's get back to Susie, who's 19. I know you've had a internet love affair with a guy who's in England who you've never met. You've spoken to him on the phone many times.
42:53🔗Dave NavarroHe's married or it's different than his picture or something.
42:57🔗AdamWhoa, and also, Susie, hold on. Have you had a boyfriend in that three-year period?
43:03🔗Dave NavarroYeah, I've dated many guys. It's not like I'm waiting out for this person. I always date tons of guys, but this is just one thing that I've kind of had and it's continuous, and as opposed to my normal relationships, which are just like a month or three months, and that's it. Because I get bored.
43:18🔗Dave NavarroI get bored and he's somebody that I can't have.
43:23🔗Dave NavarroWell, I get bored is sort of a serial monogamy. And that means that you have difficulty with the relationships and the fact that you are attracted to the guy you can't have, all that kind of adds up to you trying to find people who are unavailable. That means maybe dad left when you were young or was unavailable and worked a lot or something. So what happened?
43:40🔗CallerYeah, dad and I don't have the greatest of relationships.
43:45🔗Dave NavarroYou're going to have to work on that because otherwise you're going to keep sabotaging yourself by either A, ruining relationships with guys that are actually available for you or B, finding guys like this who are not available and chasing them and just getting into that sort of longing phase and never actually having a relationship.
44:00🔗AdamAll right, so here's the rule, I think. If you were planning on going to England and wanted to have a spot of tea with this guy...
44:21🔗Dave NavarroNo, he has. He's actually coming out here next fall. But I mean, if he's going to back off to this, why is he going to back off to that? Maybe it's just something to keep me going.
44:32🔗Dave NavarroOr maybe he wants to see you, but he just doesn't want you invading his territory over there. Maybe he's got other girlfriends or something.
44:39🔗DrewI don't know, if it's next fall, perhaps he can lose, you know, 30 or 50 pounds by then.
44:43🔗Dave NavarroYeah, I guess he has gained weight over the course like three years, so he doesn't think he's physically ready to see me because I mean, he's changed so much.
45:16🔗AdamGo to college. There you go. All right. Let's see. Shelby is able to orgasm through masturbating since age 12. Why so different? What? Shelby? Yeah.
45:31🔗Dave NavarroThat's not different. About 10% of women have orgasms very easily. They fall out at all times and it starts at young age and can have orgasm with intercourse. Then there's another subset that have a little more difficulty but have it easily with masturbation but not with intercourse.
45:50🔗Dave NavarroYou know, the other thing, Adam, why when I say most, people go, that's not me. I didn't say all. Didn't you say vast majority? Most.
45:59🔗AdamLook, all I know is, you know, if you say most people who drop out of high school don't end up having lucrative careers, somebody raises their hand and goes, my uncle dropped out of high school and he started his own nude furniture company.
46:26🔗AdamYour uncle was part of the 30 that was able to scorn the lucrative nude furniture business.
46:31🔗Dave NavarroAnd by the way, amongst all the people that whatever was don't go to college, it's a huge number. Yeah. So there's millions of people in that 30%. We got that.
46:41🔗AdamWe got to wring that out of society. I can't stand that part of our society where everyone's got to pipe up. And again, it's that, well, look, heterosexual makes better parents than a lesbian couple. Oh, yeah, well, what if the heterosexual, what if they're sadists and the lesbian couples are rich and yeah, okay, yeah, not them, you idiot. But what did I say? Idiots. Y'all make me sick, except for Dave Navarro is here tonight. Don't try this at home. Name this book. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.
47:42🔗AdamHey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Dave Navarro is in the studio tonight. A new book is called Don't Try This at Home. And, uh...
47:56🔗Dave NavarroYou're all right. We're here. It's Loveline.
48:01🔗Dave NavarroIt's gonna be a hit. It's with Neil Strauss.
48:03🔗DrewIs this signing tomorrow at Sam Gooding? There's one again at Book Soup.
48:07🔗Dave NavarroNeil Strauss was with you that whole year, which I find bizarre. He's written like three books in the last year, and yet he was with you that year.
48:13🔗DrewI know. Well, this was right after the Manson book came out, and the three of us were hanging out, and Manson kind of recommended, why don't you guys do a book?
48:22🔗Dave NavarroYou're just thinking Charlie Manson.
48:23🔗AdamI thought you meant Charlie Manson. You can't just say Manson.
48:27🔗DrewAnd we just kind of got together. We were gonna do this whole thing about pictures of the people who came in the house and make this book about the house over the course of the year. Then, like I said, it took a different turn.
48:52🔗DrewYeah, I'm recording with a new band called The Panic Channel. And it's actually Steve Perkins and Chris Cheney from Jane's Addiction. And a guy named Steve Isaacs on vocals. And we're having a blast.
49:04🔗AdamAnd how'd you guys, well, obviously you have the Jane's Addiction connection, but are you guys gonna go out on tour? Are you gonna release this?
49:11🔗DrewYeah, I mean, this is a brand new band. We're putting this record together now. We're doing some shows around town. We did one last month here in town. We're doing another one here in town in November, I believe the 16th or 17th. And yeah, we're gonna put this record together and make it a full-time thing next year.
49:32🔗DrewIt's a brand new band. I mean, it doesn't sound anything like Jane's Addiction, but it's, I would say it's a contemporary rock band. And I would say it's probably the greatest thing anyone will ever hear.
50:01🔗Dave NavarroWell, my question is, is that whenever I have boyfriends or something, I get really attached to them and I don't understand why. Like I have a hard time letting go.
50:14🔗Dave NavarroAt 15, that's kind of a common thing. But you gotta be careful with that. It suggests that maybe your boundaries aren't that.
50:20🔗Dave NavarroYeah, I don't know if it's because like when girls like have sex with someone, they get more like emotionally attached to the guy.
50:30🔗Dave NavarroThey do, but at 15, if you're having sex with people, it's gonna be shattering really, the intensity of what you feel. That's why you try to wait until you're 16 or 17 when you can manage those feelings better.
50:41🔗AdamYeah, that's really why women, and sometimes men too, because guys at 15 sometimes can't handle it either. Now.
50:51🔗DrewWell, wait, I was gonna ask Kayla, well, I guess I'm not now, but.
53:38🔗DrewIf she was in a foster home, I was gonna be so impressed.
53:40🔗Dave NavarroHow is it that you are with a 22-year-old in some sort of bizarre relationship at age 15 and no one in your life is able to come to your aid or you're not concerned about how they're gonna react to this or you have this poor judgment to be involved with a guy that's nearly twice your age in a weird relationship? What is going on?
54:01🔗CallerUm, I don't, I've had relationships with guys my age before, but I've never really liked it because I just, I don't mean to sound like arrogant or anything.
54:12🔗AdamWell, Drew, I think she answered my question.
54:36🔗Dave NavarroThat's exactly right. That's precisely why those are in place. And he is not only a criminal, but he's treating you, he's exploiting you. And you were beaten or something as a child. What happened? No, you've not, you've not.
55:09🔗CallerI met him, he was visiting here on business and I don't know, I was just walking around with some friends when I met him and I ran into him and I've just kind of talked to him ever since.
55:31🔗CallerYeah, it isn't like he does it like against my will, like.
55:34🔗DrewYeah, sooner or later those little outfits are going to start feeling really silly.
55:38🔗AdamAnd what does he do for a living? Yeah, it's called Denny's. And by the way, it's got to be tough like all day. It's like she's calling a master and then a guy goes to work and it's like, hey, jackass, I said over easy, not scrambled, fix them.
56:00🔗Dave NavarroSo that works. This stuff just rolls downhill. And he probably likes that.
56:04🔗AdamOh yeah, all right. Hey, Nicole. Okay, so here's what we're trying to decipher now. Drew's disgusted, but let's see. He's angry. You've never had sex with him. Not yet.
56:18🔗DrewWell, a lot of these relationships aren't necessarily sexual in nature.
56:23🔗AdamI don't even know how much of a relationship this is. She might be in her own sort of weird fantasy world. Training to be a submissive. Yeah, but that may just mean something to her.
56:34🔗AdamOf course he's an a-hole, but I'm just saying, who knows what he even thinks of her? He may not think of her as his girlfriend or his whatever.
57:32🔗AdamAll right, but hold on. This guy blew through town. Yeah. He was, he had a interview at an Arby's and blew out of town and meanwhile got a BJ in between blowing in and blowing out. She thinks she's got something going with this guy. He's a criminal, but I think she's in the fantasy world, here's what I'm saying. All right, I'll ask again. How often do you see him?
57:59🔗CallerUm, probably once every one to two months. So, when I'm eight and a half.
58:04🔗Dave NavarroAnd how does he train you to be a submissive?
58:06🔗AdamEvery one to two months is about every three months.
58:26🔗DrewHow does he inflict his dominance upon you?
58:29🔗CallerWell, um, I have to write journals every day. That explains what I did, what times I did them at, who I've talked to, what I've talked to them about.
58:42🔗AdamDrew's wife has him do that. Drew's been doing that for like 11 years now. Alright, and then he wants to review your journals? By the way, you're 15, got up, took a shower, went to the 10th grade, came home, wrote in the journal. Every single year. Yeah. Alright, alright, Nicole. Look, here's the deal. He's a criminal. You're a victim somehow. I don't know what your dad did, too much of or not enough of. I don't know what's going on. I don't think we're going to get it out of you. Obviously, something's going on with you. Obviously, you should end this relationship. It can lead nowhere except for bad places. I don't think you're prepared to do any of that stuff. So here's my only plea. Don't get pregnant. Do not get pregnant and try to get a little therapy or how about some friends, by the way?
1:00:08🔗AdamHe's a criminal. I don't know what to say. I know you're angry. I'm sorry. And keep in mind, I've said this many times, gents, do not screw with your daughters, because it will come back to haunt you again and again and again. You screw with your son, he gets drunk, and you guys get in a fist fight on the lawn once, and that's about it. And he does something to your car with his car. He rams your truck with his truck. Maybe takes a bat to a mailbox. That's about it. Your daughter, she's in porn, she's submissive. Oftentimes start dating one of your buddies. Whatever it is, you've now created a shame monster. She will just go out and shame you for the next 30 years.
1:00:51🔗AdamBig tat on the boob. Disaster. You'll see her on the Spice Channel. They will ruin you. Do not aff with your daughter, guys. And that means don't aff with them literally, and don't ignore them. Because they'll give you the same punishment. Yes?
1:01:19🔗CallerWell, I wanted to know if I'm a sex addict.
1:01:24🔗Dave NavarroI just said, ooh, that hair smoke detector.
1:01:27🔗CallerWell, I lost my virginity when I was 13. And what you just said about daddies is right.
1:01:32🔗Dave NavarroYes, we know that. I just spent a big conference on extra sexual addictions. I spent the last week in Washington, DC. No, but I studying the stars in the world.
1:02:05🔗AdamMove toward the thing that made the noise, star. I've now come down to descriptions of shapes. I don't say pizza at our house. I say the round thing that you put in your yummy hole. I no longer say your specific titles anymore. That can be confusing and it brings on denial. Star.
1:04:04🔗AdamAlright, here's what I need you to do. Just cool your stone jets for one second and understand that we're hearing a chirp from a smoke detector.
1:04:16🔗Dave NavarroWith a dead battery or a dying battery.
1:04:48🔗CallerI don't know where it's coming from that chirp though because it's weird. It's in like my general area and it just chirps once in a while.
1:05:17🔗Dave NavarroI swear to God I'm going to get to it. But we are intrigued.
1:05:21🔗CallerI'm so confused. She said she put it underneath the couch and then she pulled it out.
1:05:24🔗AdamI thought you said you put it underneath the couch. I've smoked weed 10,000 times. I understand English. I get high as a kite and I can drive through a jack-in-the-box and order half the goddamn menu and drive home and then watch a whole episode of the A-Team and understand every word of it. Stop speaking English when I get high. Yes, you're high. Where's your smoke detector? Really? That's it? You just have a drag off a joint and that's it? You no longer comprehend English? You can't have conversations? Oh my God.
1:06:38🔗Dave NavarroIt's in the kitchen. It's in the kitchen. All right. Listen. I gotta deal with her, though. All right, come on, let me get at her. It's all right. We've been screwing with her. Come on, let me help her.
1:07:51🔗Dave NavarroYes, please. Anderson, I swear to God. Go.
1:08:02🔗CallerI lost my virginity when I was 13, and I started having sex regularly when I was 14. I've had lots and lots and lots of sexual partners, I'd say about 60 or 70, and I used to do private parties and all kinds of stuff.
1:08:47🔗Dave NavarroWell, you're not in recovery, though, you might want to work on that.
1:08:49🔗CallerI've been off my drug of choice for a long time, so.
1:08:53🔗Dave NavarroWas heroin drug of choice? Well, marijuana, most speed addicts are actually marijuana addicts. So you're, you're, you're drinking, you're smoking an eight ball every two days. You're well into your eight. I had an eight, I beg your pardon.
1:09:08🔗AdamAll right, Star, what's your question?
1:09:10🔗CallerI want to know how I can help myself, because I know I have a sexual problem, I must, because the guy that I'm with, like, I need sex with him six, seven times a day.
1:09:21🔗DrewAnd then it's, it's all going to be part of that.
1:09:23🔗Dave NavarroExactly. You probably were sexually abused when you were a kid, whether you remember it or not. You're definitely an addict. You're bipolar.
1:09:28🔗CallerI can't remember my childhood really, either.
1:09:35🔗Dave NavarroYou're going to have to spend some time somewhere in a sober living, you got to go to 12-step, you're going to have to get a sponsor, you have to really diligently work the program, you got to really want to do this. But all those, all those behaviors are all attempts at managing unpleasant, overwhelming feeling states. And the only way you get through that into a more meaningful and nourishing life is through recovery. Yes?
1:09:56🔗AdamLet's take a break. And by the way, this is why we don't answer anyone's question, because you, you being horny is really neither here nor there. You're, you know, been in the joint, you're strung out on drugs.
1:10:08🔗AdamYeah. That's what you need to focus on. All these things will straighten out when you straighten out. You lose the addiction, start getting into therapy, clean your life up and then call some ins... If you're still a nympho, by the way, I guarantee you won't be. But call us then.
1:10:22🔗Dave NavarroYou still have issues and always sex and relationships will be the way, the thing that could take you down in your recovery, so to speak.
1:10:28🔗AdamHow can you not find the smoke detector that's chirping in your house every 30 seconds?
1:10:32🔗Dave NavarroHow can you say F five times while you're on national radio? All right.
1:10:36🔗AdamWe'll take a quick break. Dave Navarro is here and he was here and we'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All right. Let's see. Ooh, Jeff Probst coming in here later on this week, talking a little survivor. That is one of the few shows that I'm religious about, Drew.
1:11:19🔗AdamI do watch my survivor. See it religiously. That and modern marvels, yeah. Bridge buildings, ice-craper building, building luxury liners, it's awesome.
1:11:31🔗Dave NavarroYou can get to see that on airplanes, see that one. They often have that one.
1:11:33🔗AdamOh really? Nice. There we go. There's Dave Navarro. He's back in studio. He's got himself a book. It's called Don't Try This at Home. And Dave is also gonna be on, Tuesday's gonna be at the Sam Goody and Universal City Walk, seven o'clock. That is this Tuesday. That's tomorrow.
1:11:55🔗AdamAnd then Thursday, which is not tomorrow, but it's a couple days past tomorrow, is he's gonna be over at the Book Soup on sunset, six o'clock.
1:12:04🔗Dave NavarroI gotta put it up. Look, my book's coming out in paperback next week.
1:12:07🔗AdamIs it? Drew, I thought we agreed it wasn't, that paper was too good for it, that it was just gonna be pulp.
1:12:12🔗Dave NavarroWhat is pulp back? Paper pulp.
1:12:18🔗DrewSo what does it have to sell to go to paperback?
1:12:21🔗Dave NavarroI don't know. They just told me one day it's going to come to paperback. I think my book would be better, I think it was a little pricy and hardback and I'd be happier with it.
1:12:31🔗DrewIs it gonna be in airports and all that?
1:12:58🔗Dave NavarroBut you always told me that you were gonna have your wife read it to you.
1:13:00🔗AdamShe should have done that. Yeah, I blame her. Yeah, here's why I don't read. A, I'm not good at it. B, I believe it poisons the mind. C, if you thought reading was a tough sell to me before TiVo, forget it now.
1:13:16🔗AdamIt is on with TiVo, and forget about it.
1:13:18🔗DrewWhat do you have season passes to on the TiVo?
1:13:21🔗AdamOh, that's an interesting topic. That's a very good question. I have Modern Marvels, I have Dream Car Garage, another good show.
1:13:29🔗Dave NavarroHistory Channel, anything with the word Hitler in it.
1:13:31🔗AdamAnything, yeah, I put the word Hitler in there and it searches anything that says Hitler. I have Survivor, I have, it's mostly either boxing or building stuff. A lot of car stuff, a lot of History Channel stuff. Oh, JKL, of course, Jimmy Kimmel Live.
1:15:17🔗CallerMy husband and I just started going to swingers clubs and we hooked up with a couple and we just started doing the flinger thing and we go to a couple of swingers clubs locally in Sacramento, but we just, we're looking more for we think like a threesome with like another girl cause all the couples.
1:15:37🔗DrewYeah, the couple thing, by the way, is just a little creepy for me.
1:16:02🔗AdamThat's easy. Let me just say this very quickly. This is the problem. Everyone has a thing. It's like, oh, no, no, no. We never do it in front of kids. I don't shoot the dope in front of kids. We don't have our chaotic lifestyle. We always close the door, the paper thin, holocore, masonite door, and we do our own thing behind closed doors. Yeah, but here's the thing. Their mom and dad are swingers or heroin addicts or whatever they are. The point is, is they don't need to see it. They're you.
1:16:30🔗Dave NavarroThey know they've got parents with porous boundaries and that's bad for kids.
1:16:35🔗AdamThey might not even know that. It's just the people.
1:16:37🔗Dave NavarroNo, but I mean, that's, they feel that. That's what they feel.
1:16:39🔗AdamThey're being raised to think people, it's like.
1:16:43🔗Dave NavarroForget your values. It speaks volumes about how they emotionally function.
1:16:47🔗AdamMommy and daddy are a little nutty, and that's the problem. But so you go to a swingers club. How does the swingers club work exactly?
1:16:56🔗CallerWell, you just kind of go out there and you just drink and dance with whoever wants to dance. They're really nice actually in this sense because no one gives a shit who you're dancing with.
1:17:24🔗AdamHere's the thing, here's the thing. Hot people hoard each other. They don't send them out. You know what I mean? It's like having a really nice car. You know, you don't, you don't throw the keys at the neighbor kid and told him to go on a pizza run. You know what I'm saying? When you're driving the beat up suburban wagon with the rusted out quarter panel, that you throw the keys to the neighbor kid. It's the same thing. You don't bring Carmen Electra down to the swingers club. You don't bring that.
1:17:52🔗Dave NavarroYou keep her in the garage. I was reading an article about eating disorders and stuff and this therapist was talking about how so much of what these kids preoccupy is representative of like one, one hundredth of one percent. They want to be like this very rare person and the actual average person, no one really knows what the average person even looks like. That's not something they make note of. Can't even understand who that is. The average ones are going to the swingers club. Yeah.
1:18:35🔗AdamYeah, it, no, it can't, no, it was a stable relationship.
1:18:38🔗DrewI was with a girlfriend, we'd bring a friend home, a friend of hers, which, that was the worst because they were already friends. And then, when it was the anonymous friend, it just, it really, you know, because it's all fun and games when the lights are off, but then the next morning, it's a nightmare.
1:18:53🔗Dave NavarroDestabilizes everything. And you're trying to have children, you're trying to create a stable environment for children. That's your job. Not to swing, not to have high arousal, not to smoke pot and drink and dance. That's not your job. Listen.
1:19:24🔗AdamMariah, I'd get caught beating off to Dave's nightmare. Are you beating off to Dave's nightmare again? All right, let's hold on a second. Mariah. Yes. Listen, you sound nice. Here's the deal. Please listen. You're 22. You went ahead and had kids at a fairly young age and now you've forfeited your right to do things, experimental things the young 22 year old people like to do with their girlfriends or boyfriends. You understand?
1:19:59🔗Dave NavarroIt's why this, the dad on a 22 year old marriage is horrific. You throw in destabilizing behaviors like this and it's zero.
1:20:08🔗AdamYeah, and here's the deal. Show me kids of people who swing and I'll show you effed up kids every goddamn time. So stop it. Focus on your kids.
1:20:22🔗DrewI don't know, my uncle was a swinger and his son grew up to be a proctologist.
1:20:31🔗AdamToo specific. I bought right into it. Plus with the enema obsession, I thought maybe there was some sort of family. Yeah. All right. All right. So sorry we're not answering your swing question. We gotta move ahead. That's it. And by the way, here's the thing. As you may know from listening to the show, we don't have to give you directions if we think you're going in the wrong direction. The people is like, well, people called the show. They didn't ask you to make a judgment. They asked where the best place to swing was.
1:21:00🔗Dave NavarroWe're just. No, listen. I'm fine. If swinging was a good thing and a relationship could be sustained in a healthy way and families could live through that, fantastic. We'll be, of course you'd go swing. It's great. What could be wrong with that? No, look. It doesn't work.
1:21:21🔗Dave NavarroBut if you've got kids involved, you've got other lives that are depending on you, this messes things up for everybody and it speaks volumes about your emotional health, which also you have a right to keep unhealthy as far as I'm concerned, but don't think that this is something that exists in a vacuum.
1:21:36🔗AdamThank you. All right. We gotta take a break. Dave Navarro here tonight. Tanish got a addiction question that Dave could jump on in.
1:21:48🔗Dave NavarroAnd oh, we got steroids birth. Amy.
1:21:50🔗AdamLike Amy gave first baby up for adoption at 16. How to tell hubby, about how to tell hubby has new baby?
1:21:59🔗Dave NavarroHave a new baby. She's married. Her husband doesn't know that she gave a baby up at 16.
1:22:14🔗AdamAll right, so you want to know how to tell your current husband with a new baby about the one he gave up for adoption?
1:22:24🔗Dave NavarroYeah, I've tried it. We've been together for four years and I've tried to tell him when we were still dating and I try to tell him when we got pregnant. I try to tell him after we got married. It's just every time I try to tell him, he thinks it's a joke and he thinks I'm kidding and I don't know how to get him to understand that it's true.
1:22:38🔗AdamWell, he doesn't want to believe it if he thinks it's a joke.
1:22:43🔗Dave NavarroAnd by the way, let's take a break. We're going to find out exactly how you presented it to him.
1:22:50🔗AdamRape, rape who? Yeah, yeah. By the way, I think there's ways to say it in such a way where he would actually believe you. Yes, of course. Dave Navarro here. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. 1-800-LOVE-191.
1:24:10🔗AdamIt's all coming out in the end. Dave Navarro here tonight, by the way, gonna be on Tuesday, that is tomorrow. He's gonna be at the same Goody, the same Goody over on Universal City Walk, seven o'clock, and then Thursday, the 14th, he's gonna be at Book Soup on West Hollywood at six o'clock. Cross from Tower. Signing his new book, which is called Don't Try This at Home. It's written with Neil Strauss. Neil Strauss. And it's a keeper. So go see him in one or two of those places. There are all of the above. All right, you ready to rock here, Drew?
1:24:45🔗Dave NavarroThere we go. Thank you. We're gonna go back to Las Vegas.
1:24:47🔗AdamWe're going back to Las Vegas and speaking to Amy, who's 22. So, Amy. Hi, Amy. You had a baby when you were 16, gave it up for adoption, did the right thing, as far as we can tell.
1:25:00🔗Dave NavarroYou should be, consider yourself a hero.
1:25:03🔗AdamNow you're married and you're 22 and you have one child, right? And you want to tell your husband about this and you've tried on numerous occasions, but each time you do, he laughs it off.
1:25:17🔗CallerYeah, either that or I get too scared.
1:25:19🔗Dave NavarroThe first time I told him was when we were dating and I don't remember exactly how I put it. I think I kind of said it in a joking way and I maybe that's why he thinks it's a joke.
1:25:29🔗DrewYeah, you're saying the joke, well, to test it out, you say it in a joking way to see what the reaction would be.
1:25:33🔗AdamObviously, if he really needed him to know this piece of information, he would know it.
1:25:39🔗Dave NavarroYou joked it off and he joked it off with you. Of course, it supports his denial and you don't want him to hear it and he doesn't want to hear it and there you go, you share that.
1:25:49🔗DrewYeah, personally, I just don't- It just seems to make sense that you tell him if it's weighing on your mind like this. I can't imagine having that kind of a secret from my wife.
1:25:58🔗AdamDo you, what about, do you see the child? Do you have any connection with the child?
1:26:04🔗Dave NavarroNo, not at all. It's just I'm worried that in 13 years, she's gonna want to know where her mom is and she's gonna come knocking on my door and my husband's gonna answer and be like, why is this girl saying she's your daughter?
1:26:13🔗Dave NavarroWell, be that as it may, it's still a big experience in your life and it seems like something you wouldn't want to withhold from your husband. If he is a reasonable guy, I would think he would sort of have no issue with it.
1:26:25🔗DrewThis is like way before you met him, right?
1:26:27🔗Dave NavarroDid he think you were a virgin or something?
1:26:31🔗Dave NavarroWell, well, look, he's a major, he should be very supportive of the pain that this caused you and how courageous you were in doing this on behalf of the child. Thank God you guys can come together and have a family now.
1:26:42🔗AdamYeah. Well, let's face it. It's a little weird. It's a little weird.
1:26:46🔗Dave NavarroIt's a little weird, I'll grant you that.
1:26:56🔗DrewBut it's gonna be more about the fact that she hasn't told him for all this time.
1:26:59🔗Dave NavarroWhy'd you wait till after you're married kind of thing?
1:27:01🔗AdamWell, okay, that part she says, I was scared. I thought you'd have a negative reaction. I didn't want to lose you. I mean, she can work that part out.
1:27:08🔗AdamYou know that all all you got to do is say, you meant so much to me. I didn't want to screw the deal up. Yeah. As far as the guy knowing this information, I would say for most guys, it would be a little bit weird for a couple of beats. And then you get over it and you move forward. And that's that. Yes.
1:27:47🔗Dave NavarroThe thing is, is that the reason we got married is because we got pregnant. And then he said, you know, the day that we found out we got pregnant, he said, okay, let's get married. And I kind of laughed at that. I'm like, we're not going to get married. And then he got all, you know, defensive and said, no, no, no, we're going to get married. We never want to get married. We never want to have kids. Neither one of us ever, ever want to get married. We never want to have kids. And he's just, he's a wonderful dad. He's a wonderful husband. It's just, he's kind of weird about things like that. And I really think if I tell him, I think he'll leave. And then the other thing I'm worried about is this.
1:28:17🔗AdamWait, hold on a second. Now I'm starting to put together a little theory here, Drew. I don't know if you're with me on this.
1:28:23🔗Dave NavarroShe knows how he's going to react if she tells him.
1:28:24🔗AdamShe kind of like out. She never wanted to marry him. I mean, think about the sabotage we talk about. She's 22. She's probably a little chaotic, hence the kid at 16, had a life that was a little chaotic. Now kind of wants out and knows if she drops this bomb on him. Now, because if you think that it might end the relationship, you don't toy with bringing it up.
1:28:50🔗Dave NavarroRight. If you're, if he's that touchy, then you never tell him. Cause he's being unreasonable.
1:28:55🔗AdamYou just say he can't handle the truth.
1:29:10🔗Dave NavarroIt's just that right now she, she would be five years old. And I'm just afraid in 13 years that you guys will be divorced in four years.
1:29:19🔗AdamWhat are you worried about? You're really, you're, you're 22 and you're looking ahead 13 years.
1:29:29🔗AdamIf, if, if you're, if, if you're only worried about 13 years from now, her showing up at your doorstep, then don't say anything.
1:29:35🔗Dave NavarroStop it. Yeah. But here, a lot of things can change in those 13 years.
1:29:39🔗DrewI would look at the fact that you're with someone who you are assuming is non-accepting of you. The total you.
1:29:45🔗Dave NavarroAnd if that's the issue. But the other hand, she's committed. They have a kid. She's the one to make that commitment. And she is with that guy.
1:30:24🔗Dave NavarroBecause my mom and dad and my sister and my brother were just perfect and kind of the people I was hanging out with, that's kind of what we did. And I was just rebellious and I didn't want to be like everybody else. Because I didn't want to be like everybody. I don't like being like everybody else. And it was my first boyfriend. It was the first time we ever did it. We were dating for all right.
1:30:43🔗AdamWhat's your dad do? So your dad never he doesn't drink. He never raised a hand to you.
1:30:48🔗Dave NavarroMy dad never drank. No, no, he never hit me at all. I don't think my dad's ever even ground me before.
1:30:53🔗AdamHe's a great guy. And your mom's perfect too.
1:30:56🔗Dave NavarroYeah, they're the best family.
1:30:59🔗DrewIt's just the husband that was the poor choice.
1:31:01🔗AdamWhy didn't you want to get married to this guy that you're married to?
1:31:04🔗Dave NavarroBecause everybody, other than my parents, really everybody I've ever known that's been married has gotten divorced and I've been afraid of getting divorced. And I don't think I'm going to divorce my husband now. I love my husband. I'm glad we got married. But at the time, we didn't want to get married. All right.
1:31:19🔗DrewSo Amy, can I just interrupt? Here's one thing that I think is very important for people to realize and it's been that way for me, is that if it ends in divorce or if you guys separate, who's to say that that's a failure? There's this whole thing about how love has to last forever and ever.
1:31:34🔗Dave NavarroWell, the kid will say that. That's the problem. You need to create a stable family for the kid.
1:31:39🔗DrewBut you know, I mean, it's a fact of life. And who's to say you can't learn from it and grow as a result of it?
1:31:46🔗Dave NavarroYeah, but you relinquish that learning. Once you are responsible for other lives, you relinquish your growing potential and all your experimentation goes, you got to commit and just get through it.
1:31:59🔗AdamTime for you to write in your journal, by the way, your wife calls you. We'll see if you have an entrance for this hour. Here's the point, Amy. If you think he's going to freak, then don't tell him. Although you'll resent him for not doing that. And if you do tell him, I think what you're saying is, whether you know it on a conscious level or not, you're ready for this thing to possibly wrap up. And it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you say, I never wanted to get married. I never thought a marriage could last. Yes, you will then sabotage it and it won't. So why don't you get over it? If you really want this thing to go on, don't worry about what's gonna happen in 2017. How about that? Deal with it in 10 years.
1:32:39🔗DrewAnd plus by that time, by the time the kid's 18, these two are hanging around together, he's gonna deal with it then.
1:32:45🔗AdamThe kid's gonna OD at 16, don't worry about it. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
1:32:57🔗AdamReady. There, buddy. Well, that's the show. Dave Navarro, everyone, go to Dave's website at www.6767.com and find out all the information about the books. And Tuesday, same goody in Universal City. And then City Walk, that is Thursday, gonna be at BookSoup in West Hollywood, across from the, what the hell building? Tower.
1:33:47🔗AdamWe will take a little break, come back when you get the new CD out. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo. And does it chirp periodically?
1:33:58🔗CallerYes. Because the battery is low, ya dick, I told you like 50 times.
1:34:10🔗AdamOpinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.