1:02🔗
Hey everybody, it's Loveline.
1:04🔗
Voiceover
That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Whoo. Yeah. Joe Escalante and Warren Fitzgerald, both here from The Vandals. Always happy when The Vandals show up in studio.
1:25🔗
Adam
Smart, easy, nice, friendly, effortless, effortless show. And I think last time, I was just reading here, but it reminded me that Joe was one of the few amateur bullfighters in the United States. Remember that?
1:47🔗
The Vandals
You actually have something called an alternativa, where they give you the pink socks. And that's not even a joke. You're awarded the pink socks.
1:54🔗
And you get paid for your work, then?
1:58🔗
That's disgusting.
1:59🔗
Adam
Yeah. I woke up just after the guy finished. Couldn't have just taken my shoes. Nope. I had to finish on me. So you get the coveted pink socks, and then that's it for the Olympics, though. You're no longer... You give up your amateur status.
2:21🔗
Adam
You know, here's the whole thing. I don't think you need to delineate between the amateur bullfighter and the professional bullfighter. It's all... You call yourself a bullfighter. We never...
2:31🔗
Adam
We don't think about that. And I sure as hell know the bull doesn't care. It's just that we think bullfighter, bullfighter. That we pick a guy from an Elvis movie.
2:39🔗
Drew
It's kind of like a rodeo rider or something. It's like, you know, some guys are in their free time.
2:42🔗
Adam
Yeah, there's certain things, actually, what is a sport where you're really, where it's a big deal? Do you know what I mean? Like, it's a pretty big deal, like in baseball, between being a professional baseball player and being an amateur baseball player. One guy could be multi-millionaire, household name, next guy I never heard of doesn't make a penny. Bullfighting, just go ahead. You're a bullfighter. Thank you. That's good enough.
3:05🔗
Adam
Yeah, I would have given you the pink socks the last time I saw you, had I not. The Vandals, I really do think some sports are made up just to f with people, like curling and the coveted pink socks. This is a way to confuse, upset, and make everyone feel as if they're high, like you were just creating. There are some sports, like when you're making up your own card game in a sitcom and you're trying to win money off your kid brother. That's what it sounds like. Oh, I have the instruction card. That means you can make a million dollars. Yeah, that's a deuce high instruction card. Well, I'll be taking that money. Oh, there's a snowy on it. That's a bonus. Oh, no. I miss that. I miss to do that in sitcoms. All right. So Vandals. Yes. The Warped Tour. Wait. Am I looking at the right place?
4:06🔗
Adam
Vans Warped Tour is starting June 25th through August 3rd. You guys are on it during that period.
4:21🔗
Adam
You know, I'm glad for the band, but I kept thinking, why did we have them on the show before? What was going on?
4:31🔗
Adam
Yeah, maybe we should. Oh, you know, there's another thing I saw here that I thought was kind of cool, which is Warren working on the School of Rock soundtrack.
4:47🔗
Drew
I mean, the movie was. The guy that, is it Jack, what's the guy's name that wrote that? Jack Black?
4:52🔗
Drew
White. I think I was sitting next to him, but I went to see a film, an airing of Fahrenheit 9-11. Oh my God.
5:08🔗
Adam
She's probably one of these types that like, you know, announces if a Republican gets in office, she's leaving the country and then decides to compromise by going back to Malibu.
5:17🔗
The Vandals
I heard she said she was leaving the country and moving to Catalina last time when the horse was elected. She seems mentally ill.
5:27🔗
Drew
It was just hard to sit with her behind there grunting and talking at the screens. I got to go.
5:37🔗
Adam
Well, it is. But here's the whole thing about these kinds of things. Don't they? Doesn't something like this come and go? I mean, I hope so. I remember the whole Iran-Contra thing that came out. There was a documentary or there's a big thing that came out. It was probably 14, 15 years ago now, the whole...
5:56🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was like... And everything in it, I'm sure, was true. And everyone looked at it and went, huh, all right. And then everyone just got back to whatever it is they were doing. You know, you got bullfighting. You got criticizing your government.
6:10🔗
The Vandals
It's like supersize me. I'm going back to McDonald's probably two or three days from now. It'll be all over.
6:15🔗
Adam
I think everybody does that. I'm not so sure if in a way it's a good thing and in a way it's a bad thing.
6:21🔗
Drew
Yes, it's right. That's exactly what my reaction was. I was like, I'm glad somebody's asking questions. I'm glad people are documenting this, but I'm not sure I trust the public. I'm not sure the history will be kind to this. I don't know. It worries me. It worries me how we're going to react to it. It's not that I don't trust the public. I worry what we're going to do with it. Yeah. What is that going to mean?
6:39🔗
Adam
All right. But here is people. I mean, when you think about these, you know, you take governments that are much more corrupt than ours, and this has been going on for centuries, and nobody really does it. At the end of the day, you worry about your kids, you worry about your house not burning down and you want to get your, you want to supersize your credit.
6:59🔗
Drew
No, I asked myself Corolla questions at the end of the film, like, what would they have done if this had happened to them, the other guys?
7:05🔗
Drew
And if they had some nuclear weapons and a lot of military, what would have happened to us?
7:14🔗
Adam
Well, say what you will about this country, but everyone just close your eyes and picture us swapping places with Cuba. Cuba's, you know, 90 miles off the coast. They have a, they have a military that could destroy ours with just barely breaking a sweat and don't agree with our politics, don't like our government. How fast before they just came over and just completely took us over? I mean, well, why we haven't turned, you know, why we haven't done something about Cuba shows what pussies we actually are. I really think about Cuba, horrible place, nice piece of real estate, you know, put a few golf courses in a few more casinos, get, let the mafia get in there. Castro, you know, here's the thing about people trying. First off, anyone trying to get to Cuba? It's a nice place. I mean, it's, it's, it's Drew's been there.
8:07🔗
Adam
It's beautiful place. I mean, it's, it's people are the settings, right? Great setting, right?
8:22🔗
Drew
It looks like Paris, uh, circa Roman times. It just decayed. It just fall apart. It's really, it's a horrible look at, but we did this with, uh, Panama and Grenada. Yeah. You know, we did step in there.
8:35🔗
Adam
All right. I'm just saying, uh, how about we just, uh, go over there and, uh, throw, uh, Castro out? Oh, why not?
8:48🔗
Adam
Castro had his big brother, uh, in the Soviet Union that was backing him up, watching after him the whole time. They're gone. They're, they're crumbled. Let's just go in there and toss them into the ocean.
9:01🔗
Drew
You should see the city, the, the, you know, Havana is in like, it's like shambles, crumbling, rises out of the, out of the cinders. Look at the Russian embassy.
9:13🔗
The Vandals
So we can't go in there because Michael Moore will make a movie and whoever, whoever, it's a great idea, but someone will be punished.
9:21🔗
Yeah.
9:22🔗
Big hit though.
9:33🔗
Drew
Because all the ones that really want to go out are out. And no. Well, I mean, a lot of them are out.
9:39🔗
Adam
A lot of them think it's the greatest thing and they, they really, they're climbing into the crappy cars and going back to their, you know, thatch roof.
9:56🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah. No, you're thinking American Graffiti. This is different. Think old shopping carts.
10:03🔗
Adam
By the way, you want to know a bad sign? Bad sign when they have that stick on top of your shopping cart so you can't get it out of the market.
10:12🔗
Adam
That's a bad market. Yeah. That's bad. I went to one of those. I went to one of those last week and I thought, oh my God, I'm in the wrong... I was in North Hollywood. That's where I grew up. I saw the piece of a rigid conduit that had been hose clamped to the side of the thing.
10:30🔗
Adam
Oh, really? Because I'm moving then. It's really... It's the club for shopping carts. It's as close as they have to like low jack.
10:41🔗
Adam
In crappy neighborhoods, I oftentimes see people pushing shopping carts miles from the store. Like, hey, you know, I live in Burbank, I shop in Pacoima, and I push the shopping cart 28 miles. That is essentially my car. It's essentially my car. And then they leave it off somewhere around and, you know, it's 200 bucks a pop for those things. They're steel, they're chrome, ball bearing wheels, the whole thing. And then some schmucks got to drive around his pickup truck collecting them.
11:14🔗
Adam
So they're expensive. Now, at nice markets, people don't push them all the way home because they have Land Rovers out in the parking lot. You go to the Gelsons, they got the Land Rover out there. The guy has had, the chick has her maid push it in there and unload the thing, whatever. Crappy markets, they leave. And when they leave, they keep going. There's no car for them to go to. So they put these sticks on them. And they're really usually just pieces of rigid steel conduit or EMT, it's electric magnetic tubing, they call it. And they use hose clamps and they just clamp it to the side of the thing. And it makes it ten foot high and the door is eight foot. So you can't actually push the cart out the door.
11:55🔗
Adam
Well, I got a pretty good head of steam going at one point and was able to get the front part of it, but it wedged on me. Here's what I would do. Here's I would say, look, I would just post a sign that says we got sniper on the roof. Here's the thing, people. Push the car out, push the car out, push it out to your car, push whatever. But if you turn the corner and start heading down the street, one warning shot, the first shot will be a warning shot. Second one, that's right. That's the hat goes backwards. When the hat goes backwards, that means you're going down. So if you are going to actually try to push your groceries home, do it in a serpentine fashion. And fast. Really be right. All right. Hey, we should hear Vandals.
12:48🔗
The Vandals
You might recognize it from if you are a big Freddie Mercury fan, but it's a first airplay we've got in 20 years and we're loving it and it's going all over the country. So thank you people who do call stations and stuff like that.
16:07🔗
Adam
Yeah, a couple of Tuesdays from now. All right. And Tuesday is the day they all come out, right?
16:18🔗
Yeah.
16:20🔗
Adam
Tuesday is the official day. I mean, like, if you tried to release it on a Wednesday, you couldn't do it?
16:27🔗
Yeah.
16:31🔗
Yes.
16:35🔗
I wanted to know because it's hard for me when I have anal sex. I had it one time with my husband and that was a long time ago. What the heck do the gay guys do that they can do it so much?
17:01🔗
I heard like, I don't know, is that like a vinaigrette that like doesn't help?
17:18🔗
The Vandals
It used to be a creamy Italian thing. And then like in the late 90s, vinaigrette became popular in a lot of the restaurants. Yeah, the balsamic thing.
17:26🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah. I mean, here's the whole thing. God bless him for trying things repeatedly that are painful. And to me, here's the whole thing. I can try things that are painful around the forehead or elbow area, but the anus, I get one shot. If I don't like it, I walk and I never look back. That's my anus policy. Like, I don't keep going back to that well.
17:55🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I could see you try it. See, maybe you like it. Maybe it flips your cookie. But if it doesn't, Jennifer, then it's not, maybe it's not your thing.
18:08🔗
Does it change things when you have babies? Does it change things down there, like, I don't know, like, elasticity and?
18:14🔗
Adam
Yes. Well, once in a while, the vagina and anus will connect via horrible rip, and then that makes it easier to get in. You know what I mean? And that's like...
18:28🔗
Drew
It's called a third degree tear. Yeah. Yeah, that's what happens to women very often when they first deliver. If they don't get into episiotomy, the whole thing tears. The vagina tears and sometimes will tear all the way into the rectum. It's not that uncommon.
18:56🔗
Drew
That's funny enough, that's what the gynecologists call it. Yes. Well, it's not exactly the same, but it's the same general area, obviously. It's the perineal muscles. But the deal is, you're going to have enough trouble with that area of function as you get older without adding to piling on, as we might say.
19:38🔗
Yeah, but he doesn't really push it.
19:51🔗
Adam
Here's the whole thing. My whole thing is if you have an anus set it free, if it comes back.
19:58🔗
Adam
Who's retarded adage was that, people writing songs about that and stuff? It's like if you love something, man, you set it free. If it comes back, man, then it means, it's like, huh, what? Look, if you got a bird and you just open up the cage and throw it out the window, you never see the bird again, ever. No bird.
20:13🔗
Drew
That is almost central in the pathology of the 60s, right? Yeah. It was all delusional. Weird delusional, like, man, everything's perfect the way it is, so just you let go, see what happens.
20:26🔗
Adam
You take most cats, most dogs, most birds, most everything, and just put them on the other side of the yard and shut the gate a couple hours later, you'll never see them again.
20:34🔗
Drew
By the way, it's relatively true of humans that attachments need to be worked on. They're not things that you just let go of and expect them just to magically sustain.
20:49🔗
The Vandals
I got a good anal game to play. It's Safer. There's a band on my label called Osma, and they play this game when they're on tour. Every time you see a car, you think of a car, you put the word anal in front of it, and it's fun. What? Anal probe.
21:25🔗
Adam
Anal Mustang is good, too. That's good. They're all good. Once in a while, there's anal Camaro. But for the most part, anal firebird, by the way, something Indians worshiped one time.
21:42🔗
Adam
Anal Cooper. Yeah. I'm trying to think what works of it. Oh, you know, there's a new one called The Vibe.
21:55🔗
Adam
Yeah. One of the... Oh, there's the Aztec, which is a crappy thing that Pontiac builds. The Anal Aztec. Sounds like a children's book that's gone terribly wrong.
22:14🔗
Yes?
22:19🔗
Caller
I had a question about nocturnal emissions. Is there a name for the female equivalent and why don't people talk about it?
22:28🔗
Drew
Women don't have them as reliably or as predictably as men because testosterone drives that and also men develop, they accumulate a fluid that if they don't release on their own, God will release for them. And women don't have that, yet they still have high levels of arousal and things some of them do and can have spontaneous orgasms during the night, but much less so than men.
22:46🔗
Adam
And they may have them and not know it as much too, I mean a woman's actual orgasm is sort of like, okay here's what I'm saying, once in a while you have an orgasm in your sleep as a guy but nothing comes out. Ever had that? Is that? I've had that before.
23:06🔗
Adam
It's like, it's sort of the equivalent to whatever else happens in your dreams that doesn't actually happen, getting shot or wet in your bed, which actually doesn't work out too good. Yeah. No, no, here's what I'm saying.
23:20🔗
Adam
Sometimes in your dream you wet your bed and it's dry when you get up and sometimes, or you're taking a leak and you don't wet your bed and sometimes in your dream you take a leak and your bed's wet.
23:33🔗
Drew
Think of the percentage of women at sort of prime, spontaneous, high levels of arousal and hormones, how many of them don't have orgasms under any circumstances as compared to men who are all having them regularly. The math works out for the men.
23:47🔗
Adam
I'm just saying too, yes, but I'm also saying that a woman's orgasm in real life is sort of like the one we experience in a dream where nothing comes out. What about that? Oh, come on, that's heavy.
24:02🔗
Adam
I'm going to set you free, dude. And don't come back. No, but you know what I'm saying, like if you're a woman and you produce nothing for your orgasm, I mean, yeah, it's a sensation, but there's actually no physical manifestation of your orgasm. It's just a very, you know, cosmic sensation that runs through your body. That is sort of… I've had orgasms in my dreams that felt that way, but nothing came out onto the sheets. I'm guessing that for a lot of women who produce nothing, that's sort of the equivalent.
24:38🔗
Adam
And I think they could have them in their sleep more easily than we could because of the plumbing problem. Do you know what I'm saying?
24:46🔗
Drew
For those that are… And we know that their brain has much more of an impact on their orgasmic function. Yeah.
24:50🔗
Adam
And I think I would go further and say that some women who can't have it when they're awake, probably have a better shot of the sensation when they're asleep, but I don't think it goes down as a wet dream because nothing came out.
25:11🔗
Adam
That's the… Anal you go. The Vandals in studio tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. I'm Adam. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Joan Warren here tonight from The Vandals. The Hollywood Potato Chip, name of the CD coming out in a week from this Tuesday, that's right, about 9 days or so. Am I boring you, Drew?
26:26🔗
Adam
Yeah, he was on a hole for like 96 minutes. And, you know, sometimes if you're calling from the East Coast and by the time it gets around, by the time we get around you, it's getting late, you know. And I have that nasally drone that's sort of soothing and annoying at the same time. But we'll put a big man to sleep.
26:59🔗
Adam
Dude, I heard you snore. I don't snore, dude. No, drop it. I just love the I don't snore denial guy.
27:10🔗
Adam
Look, there's two people in the room. One of them is unconscious. The other one says, hey, you know what you do when you're unconscious? And the unconscious one says, no, I don't.
27:23🔗
Drew
I'd snore as another thing. If you tell somebody to sleep with their eyes open, they get very upset about that. I do not. How dare you?
27:46🔗
Adam
It's funny. It's like you do that hand wave in front of them. Then about 20 strokes into it, they go, yeah, I was away. Hey, look, if you weren't trying to do it on me, I wouldn't leave you alone.
28:02🔗
Adam
Yeah. I think I'd have to put something over them, like in movies when the guy dies on the side of the highway, they just pull that blanket up over him. I also like in the movies where they very effortlessly close the eyes of the dead person with almost a sweep. They don't even actually make contact with the person's head. They just kind of do that. He's dead. He's looking up. They do that hand sweep.
28:30🔗
Drew
Let me tell you that eyelids and mouths are kind of like silly putty-ish except they don't hold their position when they have no muscle tone. It's just like moving around.
28:41🔗
Adam
I'd like to see a movie where they honestly address that where it was clumsy, like the guy hand went over the face.
28:53🔗
Adam
The guy looks down and he says, I'm going to miss you, brother. And he does the one hand sweep and both eyes close. I'd like one where one was closed, but the other stayed open. He had to fight with it a little bit.
29:09🔗
Adam
And then the mouth popped open, tried to shut that again. Eventually got some duct tape out. It was a disaster.
29:28🔗
Caller
I was wondering, like, if you were sexually abused or raped or something and you have sex and it hurts or you feel dirty or something like that, you know?
29:40🔗
Drew
You should have all kinds of funny feelings about being sexually active if you had been sexually abused.
29:49🔗
Drew
It can get a lot better. At least you can feel safe and begin to start experiencing yourself without feeling bad or dirty as a sexual person, without that part of you being sort of expelled.
30:08🔗
Adam
Was he, you know, an alcoholic or a drug addict or, you know, did he have a brain tumor or something?
30:45🔗
Adam
Phone line cuts in and out. And only we can't hear it. She said yes. She said yes. She said yes. Anderson, ask her how long she's been in.
31:47🔗
Adam
All right. OK, so, and now what kind of counseling did you do, Kayla, or did you? And where's your dad now? Is him and your mom divorced? They're divorced. And does your mom know what went on?
32:12🔗
Adam
And your dad, I mean, I mean, OK, first off, this is a sober dad. I was almost unfathomable.
32:28🔗
Caller
Yeah. Like his brother, one of his brothers is in jail for a child molestation and his other brother, he is a very sexual man. And I don't know that he's done anything with his children, but guess what, grandpa is the one to look to here.
32:44🔗
Adam
Somebody, yeah, it's great. All right. So Kayla, sorry for which dad did you, although you sound pretty intact.
32:54🔗
Drew
Yeah, the treatment, whatever therapy you had has done something good for you. So keep it up. And we can tell just by how you make us feel. You're not getting into the kind of chaos that you would probably be tempted to get involved with.
33:06🔗
Adam
Yeah. And listen, everybody, please. And I know we don't hear this on the radio that much. But when you think it's a good idea to take a vibrator to your eight year old daughter, how about just taking a gun to yourself? Just put a bullet in your head. Would you please? It's a better, it's first off, better move. You'll be happier, dad. Believe you me, because your kids and family, everybody else, the kids, the kids will dance a jig. It'll be great. We might make a new national holiday. It'll be, and you'll have a Reagan size funeral if people find out, but you got to get the word out. I was going to take a vibrator to my daughter. Instead I took a 44 to my head. Now begin to, my body can be shown at the, there'll be a library named after me. It's important to put that in the note, though, that don't just think you were depressed when you kill yourself, but seriously, kill yourself. You really, you really should just kill yourself.
33:58🔗
Drew
Or, go ahead and don't do it, if you can, or if you can't, I don't want to take any chances.
34:05🔗
Adam
Yeah, you might do something else, stupid. Just kill yourself. It's not that big a deal. You're not doing anything. What are you doing? You know what I mean? You're doing something important?
34:17🔗
Adam
Right, another out of work musician. Screw that. Just put a bullet in your head. That's fine. And it doesn't matter. You could be a musician, could be an attorney, could be a street cleaner. It doesn't matter if you want to do something weird to your daughter. Put a bullet in your head. That's fine. Well, just move on. It'll be one less screwed up person. And by the way, your legacy will not go on. Will not go on. You will just like you became the product of your horrible childhood. You'll not create more product. Now, Kayla did sound intact for someone who's been through what she's been through. And you can have normal relationships and everything. It just becomes work. It becomes like somebody who has diabetes or something.
35:03🔗
Adam
Well, I was thinking of more diabetes because it means you got to get in your diet. You got to get your dialysis. You got to monitor. It's like a constant thing. Now, ultimately, you might end up being more healthy than regular people because of the constant monitoring and the constant work. It's like somebody says you're going to have to exercise. You have to eat a lot of fiber. You're going to have to watch this and take that. At the end of the day, maybe you end up being better.
35:28🔗
The Vandals
Do you think the fact that it's Father's Day has any big impact for someone who has that kind of a situation? Maybe why she called it a day?
35:44🔗
Adam
For me, the hard part about Father's Day is the dads and grads part. I never did get my high school diploma and whenever the grads thing comes up, it hurts. It stings a little bit.
35:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, the grads part. Dads, no biggie, but the grads, that's a twist of the knife. It's a slap in the face. I never did pick up the diploma.
36:15🔗
Adam
It was We the People. Yeah, they used to make a big deal over the textbooks. Does this still go on? First off, huge deal about covering your books. Got to cover that book.
36:29🔗
Adam
I'm going to say, why do I got to cover the book? You can buy a book cover or we got this thing, we make it out of a garbage bag and like a brown paper bag. And I always hated those kids. The book looked like it was crisp and brand new. And they'd make the cover out of a supermarket brown garbage bag and it was like spotless. My whole thing is just get rid of the stinking cover. Just falls off and all kinds of stuff. The other thing they would do is they would grade the book when they gave it to you and grade it when they got it. So it's like, it was always a little controversy. Like when they gave it to you, you wanted the lower grade and when you gave it back, you wanted the higher grade. And they'd be like, this should be B plus, we the people. They're like B plus, that's a C. If I ever saw a C, we the people. No, that's B plus and then you give it back and it's a D and I would just lose the thing and I owed the book room $19 and they wouldn't give me my diploma. That's it?
37:24🔗
Adam
I did graduate but I didn't get the diploma and as it turns out, I have never used the diploma. I've never filled out an application. I never had a job. In radio, by the way, I think it's you're penalized the more you're educated. They don't like that. The two fields I was in was...
38:07🔗
Adam
No, the class started at noon. He has to set the alarm for like 1110, 1115. All right. We got to take a break. He's angry. The Vandals are here, here tonight. Yeah. Well, here's how he does it. It's a mere three hours after his poor mom leaves for work that he has to wake up and head in, head in first, beginning out first class. By the way, all right, we're going to you should have never told us you lived at home. You should have. You've made too big mistake. You said you lived at home and then you said you went to junior college. Those were you should have said you were living. You're in Cambridge going to Harvard and that you commuted to do the radio show. I wouldn't ask any more questions. I don't even know where it is. Well, take yourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this. You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell. It's an attitude.
39:11🔗
Adam
How? Break down. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, over here, Joe and Warren, here tonight from The Vandals. Got themselves a new CD out called Hollywood Potato Chip. And there's a fascinating story behind the title of the new Vandals CD. Yes, Warren?
39:57🔗
The Vandals
Well, I was fortunate enough when I was in high school to get my hands on an actual pornographic magazine a friend of mine had.
40:16🔗
The Vandals
Yeah, there's no clever hiding spots in your bedroom at your house with your mom. No, not that weird. But yeah, there were some interesting terms in there. And Hollywood potato chip was one of the terms they'd use in there for protein secretion, is that what you said? Like a stain.
40:55🔗
Adam
Yeah, could have been part of it. So Warren is either an idiot or diabolical. He's good.
41:02🔗
Adam
I think he's good. I think this may just be good. He actually forced Joe to tell his story.
41:10🔗
Adam
Well, it is easier, you know, it's like memorizing the first, like you remember the first part of the phone number, I'll remember the second part. It is easy to hang back and realize where the person has left a little gaping hole of love. I do that with Drew constantly.
41:38🔗
Caller
Well, I haven't had sex for a while and been jacking off, you know, every day, a few times a day, morning, night, whatever.
42:05🔗
Adam
Yeah, I do remember when he did it, too. I thought it was somebody from Lit. It could have been. We've got, it was a band member.
42:16🔗
Dude, you beat off?
42:21🔗
Drew
Sounds like Marcel. It's Bruce. Dr. Bruce. No, it sounds like Marcel. All right. I agree. It probably wouldn't be Marcel.
42:34🔗
The Vandals
David Quackenbush. No, if you go to his website, he linked from vandals.com to davidquackenbush.com and it's like, yeah, it's a senator or an insurance guy or whatever.
42:51🔗
Dude, you beat off?
43:03🔗
Caller
That's all right. All right. Well, last week and I had sex and actually I had sex three times before I was able to actually ejaculate.
43:21🔗
Caller
No. In one night, it was once and she made me stop and then again she made me stop and then finally the third time I was able to do it.
43:29🔗
Adam
Well, I don't know if that's sex three different times because you don't have an orgasm, but I'd say if she made you stop after half an hour, I'll call it sex three different times. How long did it take her to get you to stop?
43:42🔗
Caller
It was probably about that, about a half hour. We stopped, we took a break, then did it again.
44:15🔗
Adam
But here's the whole thing. Your balls have like a gyro in them that can get thrown off if there's one direction and then just get flipped over. And all of a sudden, they're that direction. You beat off, you're on your back the whole time. And by the way, when you're a guy and you're 25, you may have 27,000 beat off sessions versus 92 sessions with a woman, you know what I mean? Your balls are facing, well, God, quite frankly, for most of your orgasm sessions. And then all of a sudden, you flip them over, they're facing the devil. Because that's the direction the devil is because he's in hell.
44:56🔗
Adam
Traditionally. And so now it's confusing and you can't have that orgasm because you're used to being on your back with your legs stretched out in front of you and now you're in a push up position trying to have one and it ain't happening.
45:14🔗
Drew
No, it is certain. It's guys that are particularly noted. It's guys that masturbate a lot and really customize themselves to a particular experience and need that because Adam frequently says, as Adam frequently says, sex is good, it's just not the real thing.
45:44🔗
Adam
I'm telling young Lloyd that you are going to have to learn to have yourself not only on your back, but standing up in the shower doing the grab a knee, that's just a one knee down like Pop Warner beat off, break it down, grab a knee now. That one, yeah?
46:06🔗
Caller
The other thing was I was wondering because when I would jack off I would keep it in and not make a mess. Would that affect anything?
46:29🔗
Adam
I don't do that. Listen, Lloyd is going to start beating off in the shower. That's it. Get used to first off.
46:39🔗
Adam
Well, he has a girl now, I guess. Don't hold anything in. Let it go. I understand not making a mess, but come on now. You know what I'm saying? Use the bib. Use the paper towel bib.
47:04🔗
Adam
We'll talk. We'll tell Warren how it did. Actually, I'll show him. During the break. Yeah, the Vandals are here. I'll do a little retrograde test after this.
47:46🔗
Adam
This is Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1-... The Vandals are in here tonight.
48:05🔗
Adam
It's hard to tell. Hard to tell when he enjoys things, but not sure. Hard to tell when he's alive, really. I had to poke him every once in a while. The good news is, I got to drink, I brought a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne.
48:24🔗
Adam
He had a nip. It tastes. That's the beauty of the Corollas. Like, hey, dad got a bottle of Dom. You want some? Then pour him about three quarters of an inch of money. He drinks it, 20 minutes later. You want a little more in there, dad? That's a hundred bucks. It's open. No, they're just watching jazz. They're not drinkers, the Corollas. That's why I got to make up.
48:53🔗
Adam
Anal Corolla. Yeah, spelled differently. Thank Christ. You know, the thing that's funny about the Playboy Jazz Festival is that the Hollywood Bowl, it's jazz is great. You can't go wrong with jazz. It's not like regular concert. If you don't know the song, you're kind of bummed out. You're like, when they go, here's one from our upcoming album that's going to be released. I hope you guys go out here. I was like, oh, Christ, I never heard this song. I'm bummed out. Jazz is always like, you know, when Wynton Marsalis starts going nuts on his trumpet, you just sit there and your mouth hangs open. You're like, this is great.
49:34🔗
The Vandals
Those people, I had to drive through the traffic today. My wife was like, what's going on? What is going on out there? Look outside. I looked up because I was reading. I looked up for like five seconds. I saw five people and I go, looks like Playboy Jazz Festival people to me. But I didn't know that Playboy Jazz Festival was was happening.
49:50🔗
Adam
Thing that's funny is, is Bill Cosby host. But I don't know if you want to call it host because Bill Cosby sits in a folding chair, like stage right, like deep stage right. And then when they're done, it's like, all right, that was Wynton Marsalis. Now welcome to stage, Ed James. He just leaves again. Like he doesn't walk out in front of everybody, you know, in between acts or whatever. He just sits. And you know what I thought and I sort of appreciate, he's wearing, you know, like sweatpants, but the pocketless kind, like the old school sweatpants, white socks and sandals. And I just thought, wow, it's great when you get to a certain age where it's like, look, I'm going to be in front of 19,000 people. I'm wearing sandals, white socks and sweatpants. Like I just, I got to be comfortable. I don't care if I got an audience with the Pope. I got to, I got to be comfortable. I don't care. I'm a comedy. I'm a legend. I don't care. I'm wearing sandals and screw it. And socks, by the way, because it's actually more comfortable. Like the only way I could pull these sandals off is if I didn't wear white socks with them, but screw it. And I'm not even going to put brown socks on. So people from the fifth row back could think maybe that's a whole shoe I'm wearing. Now, I'm wearing sandals, sweatshirt, screw it. Not me. It's a good place to be. And as a performer, and you guys eventually will get to the stage. If, you know, God forbid, nothing horrible happens and the band just keeps going on. Eddie James performed Sitting Down. That's when you were fried. You come out there in a chair and you perform via a chair. A lot of the great jazz greats, you know, because those old things. I don't know what happens to your legs as a jazz singer, but something happens. It's usually some circulatory problem or something. But from, you know, somewhere about your 12th album, you got to sit down and you just perform Sitting Down. And I thought that that's that's respect. That means you've arrived because there's a lot of bands where it's like, Hey, I'm going to perform Sitting Down. Now you're not. Get out of here. We don't need you. But if you say, I'm going to perform, I'll be sitting on the chair and they're like, Oh, whatever you need. That means that means you're great. That means you've got to hit legendary status in order to perform in a chair. And singing jazz, too.
52:08🔗
The Vandals
Yes. I'm not. How about there's Monday Night Football? They stand up when they announce the whole game. Do they? Whenever they show them, they're standing up.
52:16🔗
Adam
Why? Yeah, I don't know. I think they must sit down, though, when the cameras go off. Maybe they don't. I think we would be better if we stood up, Drew.
52:33🔗
Adam
But don't sit. Yeah. Well, see, Etta James doesn't play anything, I think. She just sings. And it's harder to sing sitting down, I would imagine.
52:43🔗
Adam
Oh, no, they sing sitting down. You got to be a jazz. You got to be jazz great. And you have to be heavy set. You know what I'm saying? All right, Drew, why don't you invent something that stands them up? But not really.
52:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, something that sort of hooks around their way. Like a microphone stand for a person.
53:09🔗
Adam
Stroke chair. That'd be a good name for a band, by the way. Stroke chair. Stroke Kane would be a good name for a band, too. That's hardcore. You guys into stroke cane at all?
53:25🔗
Caller
All right, I got a question for Joe. A long time ago, I was watching Your Sweat into the Oldies DVD. And I saw a preview for Selend Nuts or Cakeboy. And I said it was going to be released soon. But I looked on kungfurecords.com and haven't found anything. I haven't found anything on Amazon or anything.
53:47🔗
The Vandals
Yeah, we made a movie by ourselves. It's very hard to make a movie by yourself. We shot it on film. You shot it on film? I shot a 90-minute feature on film written by Warren. Warren starred in it. And it took a long time. And we killed ourselves making it.
54:09🔗
The Vandals
There's a making of part of it. It will come out in the fall. It's all done. The DVD authoring is going on. There's kind of a documentary in it, the making of, that just makes me look retarded for even doing it. I just look like Crumb. Yeah.
54:41🔗
The Vandals
A baker who works in an erotic cake shop. And it's an abusive relationship with the girl that beats the crap out of him. So he leaves town to be a roadie for a punk rock band. And they abuse him. Then he falls in love with the girl in a wheelchair.
55:00🔗
The Vandals
No. He's actually very, he's a very nice, not like a lot of people that call, I guess, or something, like he's actually a very sincere, nice person.
55:21🔗
The Vandals
Iron Chef-like bake-off at the end. And of course, like any great movie, he doesn't win, but he still wins. Right.
55:31🔗
The Vandals
That was a good question. That guy did his homework. And it is a question we get a long time because you make a movie and then where is it? Where's your damn movie you were making?
55:54🔗
Adam
It seems hardcore. You know what I mean? They're all about keeping the street cred. Which is me. Like, I would...
56:03🔗
The Vandals
But during the day we had to make money, I don't know. I started a long time ago, but then to make money, I make actual concert DVDs and that's what pays the bills because that's what kids want to see.
56:14🔗
Drew
The thought bubble over his head is a picture of the movie with all the different slices taken out of it, each of those actors.
56:21🔗
The Vandals
Kids want to see rock bands on a DVD. That's what kids want. That's why we have this Warped Tour DVD coming out.
56:26🔗
Adam
Oh yeah. Do you physically... True, you should have plugged that in an hour ago. Do you physically go out and shoot these and edit them and put them together?
56:36🔗
The Vandals
Yeah, I would like to be what would be considered the director. I got a crew of eight to nine cameras and we have a 24-track hard drive recording system. Warren mixes the live sound.
56:48🔗
The Vandals
I used to edit them myself and then before I started realizing I shouldn't kill myself and now it's a supervising...
56:58🔗
The Vandals
All the concerts are shot on 24p digital video which looks better than anything I've ever shot on film. But the features we've done are on film.
57:07🔗
Adam
Let me say this. You know, I think I saw some special not too long ago on like the NFL films and how they started off by just taking little handheld cameras and a handful of guys run around the sidelines and stuff like that and of course turn into a multi-million dollar industry. This could be that eventually, could it not? I mean, just being, I mean, I know there are other guys who film concerts, but if you could be the guys who did the work or whatever.
57:39🔗
The Vandals
I'm definitely already the best. Kung Fu Records has about 20 concert DVDs either out or in the, we did the social distortion one last year, but we did it for them like as a production company, but we've released like, we got about 20. And then the nearest other label has about three. So it's what we do. And then in the meantime, we put out the Vandals and.
57:57🔗
Adam
And do you get it, do you get a contract that says we're going to do the Warped Tour for the next five years?
58:03🔗
The Vandals
No, I'm next one year. And then that's how that worked. But then when it came out, they liked it so much. They definitely want, you know, right. No one can compete with that thing. That thing looks, that's a monster to make.
58:21🔗
The Vandals
We come from the punk rock world, you know, first and foremost, and I don't want to deal with those metalheads and the punk rock world is hard enough. There's probably 30 or 40 lawyers involved in that project alone. That's a crime. But it would be worse in the metal world.
58:37🔗
The Vandals
Yeah. You know, put it this way, Ozfest, how much are tickets? $65 million. In the Warped Tour, they're $25. It's just a different world that I prefer to stay in as long as possible.
58:54🔗
Adam
And, you know, right? They're not chasing the buck. I mean, well, here's the thing about the punk rock world. Even if you are chasing the buck, you gotta pretend like you're not. So you can be like a hot chick who hooks up with an ugly dude, even though you're not really attracted to him. But you don't want people to think that you're just chasing the captain of the football team. You gotta take a stand. Yeah, you gotta keep it real. That's what I'm doing. That's why I'm going back to the phones, Drew. Keeping it real. Kendall?
59:26🔗
Caller
No, seriously. When I first got through, he was like, so how old are you? And I looked at the clock. I was like, yeah, I'm still 19. But no, I'm 20 now. Today's my birthday.
59:40🔗
Adam
Wow. So, you actually changed age. I mean, you're on hold. A clock and a calendar to mark your whole time. Yeah.
1:00:02🔗
Caller
I haven't been. I've been sober for a while. Actually, not a while. It's been about eight months. That's usually some sort of trauma that you went through. I was really young.
1:00:31🔗
Adam
Hold on one second. It's smart to just go, I was stupid, because then people, like you go, why did you have the adulterous affair? Why did you slam heroin? Why did you carjack? And you go, I was stupid. And then that's the one answer where people actually feel sorry for you and go the other way, you're not stupid.
1:00:50🔗
Adam
Yeah, I'm just saying it's a good angle to work. You could do, you could F up horribly. And when they want to know why, if you said I'm smarter than all of you, you'd get punched in the stomach. You just go, because I'm stupid. And you hang your head and people go, oh, you're not so stupid. It's just a better, it's a better angle. We should all work it. Go ahead, Kendall.
1:01:10🔗
Caller
Okay, 14 in middle school, I would go on the playground during recess and like smoke a joint behind the dumpsters. That's stupid.
1:01:25🔗
Drew
It's hardcore. It means you're trying to manage feelings that you can't manage on your own.
1:01:29🔗
Adam
Smoking reefer 14 is about average for these parts. I mean, that's maybe you're calling from Indiana. That may have been wild behavior.
1:01:42🔗
Adam
All right. So smoking a little reefer behind the dumpster in the ninth grade, and then what?
1:02:02🔗
Caller
Once I got out of high school, it got really bad. And then I kind of sat there and thought about what I was doing and how I shouldn't be doing it. I've been sober for a while, and it's getting really, really, really hard. And I need, like... I don't know, I need something other than what it was.
1:02:22🔗
Drew
Well, you need the program. You're not in the program now. I need to get with it. People do not stay sober without that. And heroin addicts don't live to see 40 without some very, very intensive active involvement.
1:02:41🔗
The Vandals
But they don't die. That's one thing I hate about heroin addicts, the ones I've known, they never die. They just keep going.
1:02:56🔗
Yeah.
1:02:59🔗
Yes, sir.
1:03:04🔗
No.
1:03:05🔗
Drew
All right. That's how it works, Kendall. If there was something easier or sort of alternatives to do, I would certainly suggest that for you. But the alternatives are really states of chronic illness like methadone and buprenox, that kind of stuff.
1:03:16🔗
Adam
You don't want to get into that. Let me ask this. Who has a tougher time kicking, males or females? They look into that. It seems like males cling on with a little tighter grip.
1:03:28🔗
Drew
I'm not sure. I would tell you that teenagers are much easier. Teenagers are something about the developing brain that they really don't even have withdrawal sometimes. That's why teenagers can sometimes delude themselves into thinking they can control it because they go on and off, no big deal. They always go back on because addiction is a disorder of the motivational systems. And so the brain is constantly motivated pushing back towards the drug in spite of everything else in your life that will always push you back to the drug.
1:03:54🔗
Adam
But no one's, not that it's worth anything, but no one's ever done a study between the differences between male and female biology in terms of addiction.
1:04:17🔗
Adam
Oh, women are... Listen, I would love to be a chick. I was... I did... What the hell? Oh yeah. I did the Kimmel Show on Friday night. I was sitting next to Lisa Ling, who used to be the Chinese chick from The View. And now she's doing something on National Geographic. She's cute, by the way. She's... You know, and she was drinking a glass of white wine out there. A lot of people, by the way, I really didn't know... Didn't think much about this. A lot of people go on talk shows, have a glass of wine to kind of settle them a little bit, especially chicks. Well, here's the thing with a chick. You're going out there. You got nerves going and you don't have to be funny. So just mellow out. You're looking to be mellow. You don't need your edge. I got to get out there and dance for the man. Night after night. Chicken at a carnival. Dancing, dancing. But no, not the chicks. Especially the Asian chicks. You don't need to be funny. You're an Asian chick. You're cute. Just get up there and talk about the view. So, she was drinking her glass of white wine and I was saying to her how's this wine doing for you? And she was like, oh man, I'm Asian so I got that enzyme thing and I'm 125 pounds and one glass of white wine. Look out. And I thought lucky. For you it's three bottles. And then I have to hit myself with the third bottle. It's actually physical trauma about the head. And even then I'm feeling fine. But disorienting when who hit me. It'd be nice just to have one glass of white wine and get completely loopy, wouldn't it? And what do you do when you don't want to bust? Just have like a teaspoon before you go to bed?
1:06:01🔗
Adam
They get the flush. But Drew says, and I told her, Drew says you can push through it if you keep drinking.
1:06:19🔗
Hello?
1:06:25🔗
Drew
All right. Yeah. By the way, he's been on hold for two hours. We was 16 when we started just like our last call.
1:06:35🔗
Caller
Yeah. First of all, I like to say Dr. Drew, you're God, Adam Carolla, you're Jesus, and I love the Vandals.
1:06:57🔗
Adam
See, on one hand, he's 17, so he shouldn't be a virgin according to our callers. On the other hand, he sounds like a virgin, and on the other hand, he's calling from Florida. Not too many virgins after 12. And that neck of the woods. How many times have you had sex, Spencer?
1:07:25🔗
Caller
I'm saving up every dime I can to get out of this place. I don't care, I'll get on a tire and swim to Cuba.
1:07:37🔗
Caller
Oh man, I got some crap a little job and I'm saving every cent I can to get out of here.
1:07:44🔗
Adam
Do you do something involving waffles, because I picture everyone in Florida doing something with waffles.
1:08:03🔗
Caller
Okay. I suffer from bipolar and there's times when I get like extremely really sexual and I masturbate chronically.
1:08:14🔗
Caller
About, usually average is about five to eight, but I've done it like 12 times in one day. It's really bad. I want to know if this is something that's going to pose like a serious threat when I get older.
1:08:32🔗
Caller
No, just kind of the bipolar thing. When I was on my medication, it was okay, but I'm sorry.
1:08:52🔗
Drew
Yeah, the bipolar, obviously, if you've ever heard this in this show, we talk to people that are hypersexual. There's sort of two common reasons for that. One is somebody is bipolar and manic and they can become very, very sexual. And the other is they're an abuse survivor and that person typically can go through phases of very, very high sexuality, very, very low sexuality.
1:09:10🔗
Adam
I think I went for like eight once and on the ninth, I actually sucked my underpants up my ass and shot them out my penis. It was sort of like a pitching machine, you know, with the wheels that's been... And I said, OK, now it's time to quit. That's when it's time to quit.
1:09:56🔗
The Vandals
I mean, it took all day. I didn't have anything to do. It was a me day. It was a total me day. And then, you know.
1:10:10🔗
Caller
I would go past, like, Telemundo or something, and it's like, you get, oh, okay, may as well.
1:10:31🔗
The Vandals
Shusha? Shusha, yeah. She's like the Brazilian hot pants and little kids dancing around her hot pants.
1:10:38🔗
Adam
Drew, how do you not know Shusha? Shusha is a smoking hot blonde who wears knee-high pirate boots that are made out of white naga hide, super short shorts and like a halter top and hosts a children's show.
1:10:55🔗
Adam
We got Bob McAllister, like a fat chew from Long Island. Giving away bagels. Yeah, we got nothing. Big fat guy with a bad hair piece telling us.
1:11:12🔗
The Vandals
Yeah, it only takes me a few minutes either. But I don't get the names of things.
1:11:31🔗
The Vandals
I dialed my extension by accident. I dialed the wrong number, and it came up Shusha. Oh, really? It said Shusha on the thing. I go, what, who are you? What are you doing? They're going, we're in stage 61. I hung up the phone and went right over there. I was there every day for the whole summer to eat my lunch.
1:11:54🔗
Adam
See, we've got porn spelling to it. Drew, and how is it? Normally, you don't know anything I'm talking about, except for when it comes to children's programming, in which case you get angry at me for not being familiar with Thomas the Tank Engine.
1:12:18🔗
Adam
Let's take ourselves a little break. Vandals in studio tonight, and we'll be right back after this.
1:12:23🔗
Caller
All right, guys, bottom line, here's the deal. Looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person, one call's all you need to make. Call the Dateline.
1:13:02🔗
Adam
Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Joe and Warren here tonight from The Vandals. Yeah, Hollywood Potential, name of the CD. You can find the guys on the Warped Tour on the, from the June 25th to August 3rd, and also got a Warped Tour DVD, which is, I Hear, Second to None.
1:14:07🔗
Caller
I don't know. I live with my brother, and when I was like eight, him and my other brothers molested me. And he's been living with me for about a year and a half now, and it just feels really weird. I can't be alone in the house with him, or I feel really weird.
1:14:48🔗
Adam
That's what you call bad times there. Yeah, it's horrible. And what about your other brother? You said your other brother too?
1:15:06🔗
Adam
Really? And so your two older brothers who were substantially older than you, by the way, I mean, you're 15. They're in their early 30s. Are they from the same parents?
1:15:22🔗
Drew
No half-brother action? Wow. Does your parents know about this? And yet they're allowing you to still live with the perpetrating brother?
1:15:33🔗
Adam
Well, look, I don't want to pry too much, but hold on one second. Let me talk to my comrades for a second. The parents are acting like nothing happened. She's living with the brother. It's got to be awful weird for the brother, too, by the way.
1:15:55🔗
Adam
But here's the real question, and the other brother did it, too. What was this full-fledged abuse, or was there some sort of inappropriate something that the parents are saying, look, get over it, or it's not as big a deal as you think it is?
1:16:19🔗
Caller
Well, I didn't have like, it wasn't like actual penetration, but it was, he made me suck his d*** and stuff like that.
1:16:34🔗
Caller
Yeah. She took me to health and welfare, and they put me through a little bit of counseling, but that only lasted for about a half year.
1:16:44🔗
Adam
So your brother or brothers, by the way, God knows what this guy is doing in Alaska, but thank Christ he's out of the contiguous United States. He's just got to deal with Canada if he wants to deal with us. But the thing is, these guys are a mess, and I wonder if they were abused.
1:17:09🔗
Adam
Yeah, something bad. And is this just super albino white trash? I mean, horrible alcoholics and all that stuff?
1:17:18🔗
Caller
Well, my brother, one of my older brother is an alcoholic, and my other brother, he's just nasty.
1:18:01🔗
Adam
Oh, and by the way, hold on, Alaska is sort of sort of what Florida is to deadbeat dads is what Alaska is for just sort of alcoholics who hate the government. Like, I don't need anyone telling me where I can park my snowmobile.
1:18:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's something that's not going right. You go to Alaska because things haven't worked out wherever you were.
1:18:35🔗
The Vandals
Yeah, the continent chewed you up, spit you out. Yeah, and that's where you ended up.
1:18:38🔗
Adam
I'm going to start new in Alaska. That's really what that is. And Nevada's got it. Now, there's a whole different crew that goes to Nevada, but Nevada, Alaska, and Florida.
1:18:52🔗
Adam
Hawaii has that, but it's a more euphemistic, sort of hippie kind of, hey, I'm going to get a Sprout Farm going up here, I'm going to smoke some spleef and spend my day serving. A lot of scrounging.
1:19:11🔗
The Vandals
They think they're advancing. I think that's a way to serve. Yeah, it's like the snowboard towns. Every snowboard town is like that too.
1:19:21🔗
Adam
Here's the thing. The ones that moved to Alaska and Florida will shoot at you. The other ones, the Hawaiian ones, only if you get in there, stumble on to their pot farm, will they actually take a shot at you. But it's probably booby trapped anyway. So, Echo, what are we going to do for her? Worked it all out.
1:19:44🔗
The Vandals
They'll send anyone with a concealed weapons permit with just a safety certificate and a photo and going in a...
1:20:05🔗
Adam
So, Echo, your brother, even though your mom is aware of what he did to you. Your mom's aware of it, still he gets to move home and live with you guys.
1:20:25🔗
Drew
When they took you to the Health and Human Services, whatever you, however you rephrase that.
1:20:36🔗
Drew
So maybe it's time to get back to them and let them know that you're living with the perpetrator again.
1:21:03🔗
Adam
Does he drink? Yeah, if it ain't broke, Drew. Does he drink? Because really what you don't, really what you don't want is to booze mixed in with mom being, being out of the room. Do you, and I don't want to freak you out, but do you have a lock you can put on your bedroom door at night so you can just sort of sleep in peace?
1:21:28🔗
Adam
What about, you know, three bucks at the hardware store, you little barrel bolt, just put it on. Sleep better.
1:21:33🔗
Caller
I could, but I, I'm in the process of getting a job and I can, I can't wake up on my own, not even with an alarm, so I had to keep my door unlocked so my mom could come in.
1:21:46🔗
Adam
All right. And look, get the job, get your friends around you, hang out at school, get involved with everything you can that doesn't involve going home. Go home, go to bed, eat breakfast and leave again for the entire day. I don't know what else. You know, obviously if the guy, you're 15 now, if the guy does anything that's even close down a line, you just start screaming bloody murder and call the cops. Yeah?
1:22:08🔗
Drew
Well, if she can, she may still freeze. I mean, if she's, she must still have a freeze reaction.
1:22:12🔗
Adam
What about these people, by the way, who cannot get up with alarms blaring and actually like need two alarms and they got, they just stick, it won't work.
1:22:27🔗
The Vandals
Joe. No, I'm not, no, I'm not one of those. No, I'm just saying, I just think, I don't know.
1:22:35🔗
Adam
Always curious, always curious, like, I mean, I do know people that go, no, I got to put one alarm here and then I got to put another alarm on the other side of the room. My friend, I lit firecrackers off in the guy's room, like, I had paper from the firecrackers were blowing off so close to me, I actually had paper from it, didn't get up.
1:22:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, when you just, you're so far gone, it's like, it's if you die every night, you're dead. It's not going to get up, not, not, all right, so, all right. I would lock the door and I would, of course, I would, I would urge everybody to just lock their door. Why not? Yeah. I do it every house I've ever had, just, you just, you just, you get a little barrel bolt, put on there. Now it's not going to stop the SWAT team from coming in if they need to come in, it's not going to stop a homicidal maniac with an ax from coming in. It's going to stop your drunken stepdad from you, you waking up and find out there's a guy beating off on the side of the bed. Right. That's what it does. You get, there's no slipping in. If he's getting in, he's got to put his shoulder under the thing. Yeah. All right. Now let's talk about Joe's IDs here that he's produced.
1:23:48🔗
Adam
He has one to carry a concealed weapon in Las Vegas and he has another in the state of Florida to carry a concealed weapon.
1:23:58🔗
The Vandals
I think my Washington one's good in Alaska and it's not, I don't carry it with me.
1:24:04🔗
The Vandals
It's more wallet enhancement. Sure. But that Florida one is good in like 25 states. Oh, it is? But all you need to do is get a training certificate. You send it to Florida with a picture of yourself and $120 and it comes flying back.
1:24:25🔗
The Vandals
Yeah, we go on tour and we were looking for stuff to do in each state and we're like, let's go to gun range. And then we started getting into, I wonder what it takes to get a concealed weapon permit in this state. And then we started checking into it and just started doing it.
1:24:41🔗
The Vandals
I'm not used to killing animals. I mean, the guns are just not much further along.
1:24:47🔗
Adam
Maybe you guys can help me with this. I have this, I got a house, I'm putting a flagpole up. Because I'm convinced, by the way, flagpole, your house goes from house to fortress or from house to like public library or monument or something. You can get a 20-foot flagpole, it costs 250 bucks. I'm convinced it adds 30 grand to the price of your house. No problem at all. It all of a sudden seems like a compound. Even if it's a crappy little house, you put the big flagpole in front, it's like a shit, that's a nautical theme all of a sudden. Okay, now here's my other idea, my first impulse, you fly the American flag, that's good because it makes the criminals think maybe you're packing heat. Now, you fly the Confederate flag, you're cleaning the gun, like they picture you home actually cleaning the shotgun. Doesn't matter what time of day it is.
1:25:36🔗
Adam
Yeah, I had a certain thought like you see the American flag up on the flagpole in front of the house, you're thinking, okay, the guy's got a gun, but it's probably down in the safe and he's upstairs. You see Confederate flag, you picture sawed off between the mattress and box spring. Like that guy's packing and he's used it and he will use it again. Now, I don't like the, and I said to somebody, what percentage of people who fly the Confederate flag or show it somewhere on their home have a gun? And it's got to be above 90 percent, right?
1:26:09🔗
Adam
And then the guy brought up a good point, I was talking to a guy I work with, Rick. He goes, and the other 8 percent had had it taken away or pond it. Right. You know, El Camino need a new transmission, so I had to pond the sawed-off shotgun. I'll be getting it back. Like there's an explanation for the 10 that don't actually have it on their person. But I thought, I don't want the Confederate flag because it has the whole racial connotation to it. So then I thought, don't tread on me. Now that suggests firearm.
1:26:43🔗
The Vandals
Vermont? Anyone can carry a gun. So that's Vermont. They don't have permitting. Because they're like, what? You carry a gun like it's any of our business?
1:26:51🔗
Adam
Yeah, you can use the don't tread on me thing works no matter what state you're in, I think. I mean, doesn't it? It applies.
1:27:00🔗
Adam
And you see the don't tread on me flag out front of a guy's house. He's packing. He's a badass. He's packing.
1:27:06🔗
Adam
And a patriot. Yeah. None of the negative stereotypes. No dukes, a hazard jokes, nothing. There we go. I got it set.
1:27:34🔗
Drew
You know how guys have trouble with confidence and going out and dating and meeting girls? We have a solution. Axe deodorant body spray.
1:27:53🔗
Adam
We got a second song from the Vandals that we forgot all about. So much into The Callers tonight, Drew, that we forgot about the second call.
1:28:13🔗
Adam
Well, we're interested, we really are. We get a lot of these bands in here, guys just sitting on their hands, pouting, drunk. No, no, they're not stabbing bulls or getting permits. They're not doing anything, making concerts. Not living.
1:28:29🔗
Adam
My God, it's like Ernest Hemingway. Really, really is. Like if Ernest screwed with his hair a little bit or if you grow a beard or lost a little weight or something. Yeah, someone needs a loose weight. Ernest does.
1:28:47🔗
The Vandals
Yeah, I didn't get into the Hemingway until after I got into the bullfighting. And then I heard it from all these white guys that look like that, that linger around the scene and they're the Hemingway types. But I kind of came in the Tijuana entrance.
1:29:17🔗
Adam
Let's... Church of Ross. Yeah, we're hearing a song from the Vandals. This one's called I Am Crushed.
1:33:16🔗
Adam
Well, you got a license to rock. I'll tell you that right now. 24 hours in. We're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back with the Vandals after this. Yeah, Vandals, everybody. God love you. Get this, the CD, which is Hollywood Potato Chips coming out in about a week and a half. And then you've got the Warped Tour DVD, which is coming out in just a couple of days. Yeah. Thanks for coming in, guys.
1:34:24🔗
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.