Thursday, June 17, 2004

0:54🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. The listener discretion is advised.

1:00🔗 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04🔗 Voiceover That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Addiction medicine specialist tonight, Andrew WK, back in the studio.

1:14🔗 Drew Thank you very much, very glad to be back. Very, very, very, very glad to be back.

1:18🔗 Wow, not just very glad.

1:19🔗 Drew Well, you know, I realize everyone says they're very glad to be back, but I really, really...

1:24🔗 Well, Adam will call everyone dear, dear, dear, dear friends. Yeah, that's the same thing, right? So really an actual friend would be dear, dear friend.

1:31🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm just glad that you guys are still doing this. And last time when I was here, I asked you, Dr. Drew, you know, do you really enjoy this? Because you seem to. And Adam, I don't know what to make of it, really, if he's happy to be here or not.

1:46🔗 Adam Hold on, what's not to enjoy for Drew? He cramps out three syllables every two hours and we get paid exactly the same.

1:53🔗 Drew That's a good point. That's a discrepancy.

1:55🔗 Not a good point, how dare you?

1:56🔗 Adam What if for two hours a night I took you to a nice place, sat you on a stool, and wadded up 20s and threw them at you, and you sat there silently. Would you put up with it?

2:05🔗 Drew Look, you listed all his certifications. That demands pay.

2:09🔗 Adam That's what he says to me. Every time I yell at him, why do we get paid the same amount? I should be getting paid so much more. And he goes, he always gets indignant. He goes, I'm a doctor.

2:18🔗 I do not, I just, he goes, how dare you?

2:21🔗 Adam And then he goes, 11 years. And each year he keeps adding on.

2:25🔗 Drew Oh, is it one year counts for two?

2:26🔗 Adam Nine years of medical school. Now we're up to 11. 10 years from now it'll be 27 years of medical school. And you know, it always shuts him up. I always go, who makes more, your Seinfeld. And he always shuts his pie hole.

2:40🔗 He's been saying that since Seinfeld was on television.

2:42🔗 Drew Seinfeld's a very wealthy man.

2:44🔗 Adam That's my point in no degree. There you go. Andrew WK is here. I got things to talk about, by the way. I got ideas, I got notions. I got breakthroughs, I got jacks.

2:57🔗 Drew All right, here we go.

2:58🔗 Adam Well, first let me just plug in Andrew and say, the CD, well, we'll hear something.

3:04🔗 Drew Don't plug me, actually. Plug the show.

3:05🔗 Adam I'm gonna plug the show. Your friend, Andrew WK, which is on MTV2 and also the Wolf, name of the CD, and we'll hear something off of that as the night wears on. Now, I got a couple things. I came up with an idea that I pulled Drew over the phone last night because we don't get enough of each other here in the studio. We do speak on the way home on a nightly basis.

3:28🔗 And then we're desperately speaking to the last second when our phones cut off.

3:33🔗 Drew In the hills, in the hills. So it's not like, I was wondering this, when you guys see each other outside of the show, is it much like a student sees a teacher?

3:43🔗 Yeah, I avoid him. I put my head down.

3:44🔗 Adam He avoids me, but I can't find him.

3:46🔗 Drew You walk as fast as possible.

3:47🔗 If I make eye contact, he starts hitting me.

3:49🔗 Drew Bump into the wall and try to make it by.

3:51🔗 Adam Here's the reality. We have to gossip about the guest that we had on the show. Like, let's see, well, in about two hours, we'll be talking smack about you, Andrew.

3:59🔗 Drew Jeez.

4:00🔗 Adam That's the way it works.

4:01🔗 Until our phone's cut out.

4:03🔗 Adam Once in a while, I'll go, I think he's cute. And Drew goes, eww. We gossip, but we talk. And I've been driving around Los Angeles and I see nothing but graffiti everywhere now.

4:16🔗 That was your plan.

4:17🔗 Adam This is a breakthrough. Now, everyone just listen. Los Angeles is really turned into the graffiti capital of the world. I know people think Chicago and they think New York. Here's how I know we got more graffiti than you guys. We graffiti on our rocks, okay? You guys paint subway cars, chicken ass. We do curbs, we do trees, we do rocks. I've seen like squirrels with graffiti on them. We will graffiti anything that's bigger than a coaster and not going anywhere.

4:50🔗 Drew Anything you can fit in on ants?

4:51🔗 Adam We do trucks, we do everything. I mean, I drive around through the hills, I see boulders that needed to be painted over. Is there nothing sacred anymore? Is there an endangered species these guys could graffiti?

5:03🔗 Honduras, there are Honduras.

5:05🔗 Adam Botted owls or California condor.

5:06🔗 Drew It seems originally graffiti was meant to be man taking over the city environment, but it clearly man's now, you know, it needs to move and infiltrate further into nature.

5:15🔗 Adam We are, we are like, we're gonna start graffitiing water, like lakes, waterfalls.

5:21🔗 Drew If you're not careful, you could get a tag, someone could tag you while you're walking down the street.

5:24🔗 Adam I always run in a serpentine fashion to avoid gang bangers who are trying to tag me.

5:29🔗 Drew Moving target.

5:30🔗 Adam Now, we graffiti our freeway signs. We graffiti stop signs. Every sign on the freeways got some markings on it.

5:38🔗 Drew Front and back, exactly.

5:39🔗 Adam Front and back, the back of stop signs are being graffiti. There's nothing that's not being graffitied anymore.

5:44🔗 Chris, what is that?

5:46🔗 Adam You're asking engineer Chris. Oh, because he's half Mexican? We don't know. This could very well be the Finns or the Swedes. We don't know what the nationality is behind this writing, although it appears to be a foreign language. I'm not making any judgments here because as you know- Yes, how dare you? We cannot judge how every culture is exactly the same.

6:12🔗 Drew All culture, graffiti is omni-cultural.

6:14🔗 Adam All culture is beautiful.

6:16🔗 Drew How dare you?

6:16🔗 Adam And by the way, you know there got to be white guys doing the graffiti because if you ever see a public service announcement about graffiti, it's always the white guy who hasn't shaved for three days. So it must be a white guy doing all the graffiting out there. Good looking, about 5'8, hasn't shaved for a few days. The point is this. Here's my plan. I want to take the signs. Now, we can't scrub these signs, we can't repaint them, it's costly, It's futile. and it takes forever, and then they just come tag it up the next day. Here's my plan. They have a thin film that's a 3M mix, it's a product. You actually put it on the front of your car, on the bumpers, it stops rocks, it stops chips. If you got a $150,000 car and you're driving it to Palm Springs, you put this stuff on it once a year, you peel it off and put it new. It protects the bugs, it protects the chips. It's like a bra that a Porsche would have, but it's invisible. How about we take our stop signs, our freeway signs, all these signs that are getting tagged and we put this film on it.

7:16🔗 Caller Multiple layers.

7:17🔗 Adam Multiple layers. And then when they tag them, we just have a guy peel them off.

7:22🔗 Caller Yes? I've actually got a connection to the mayor's office. I'm a friend of mine who's trying to get me to go to a fundraiser for him and I'll invite you. We'll go, talk to the mayor.

7:28🔗 Drew They did this. I hate to take your steam out of your sales there, but they did this in New York with the subway cars. They put a finishing, a spray, some kind of coating on the outsides of the subway cars so that if and when, undoubtedly, people did spray paint, it would just spray off with warm water.

7:44🔗 Adam And it worked?

7:45🔗 Drew Yeah, but then they started spray painting the film and spray painting the water and spray painting graffiti on the hoses and on the workers that were cleaning the trains. So when the workers came up to clean off, they would bomb them, you know, bomb meaning, you know, attack them with the graffiti cans, not an explosive. And the whole scene would be another graffiti mess. And that was their point. You cannot stop it.

8:05🔗 Caller What are the ideas you have? That's a bad idea.

8:07🔗 Adam Well, come on, the protective film.

8:10🔗 Caller I like it. But your guest calls it bad. So let's go. I like that. It's a brilliant, brilliant idea.

8:14🔗 Adam Wait, are we talk about Andrew? Oh, no, no, no. Don't worry.

8:18🔗 Drew It'll be good. It's such a good idea. Someone else already had it. That's it. That's you should be flattered.

8:22🔗 Adam You were talking about some sort of protective coating. I'm talking about an actual product that exists. A film, a film. Not a not a wipe on film, not a spray on film.

8:30🔗 Drew A peel on film.

8:31🔗 Adam An actual shelf paper sort of thing.

8:34🔗 Drew A contact paper.

8:35🔗 Adam When you see motorcycle racers and they get two laps in it, you see them reach up and rip that extra layer they have on their goggles. They'll take their helmet and they'll put it three layers thick.

8:44🔗 Drew It's like when you buy a new electronic device sometimes over the screen or over the display, they'll have a little piece that peels. So you just want anything that peels off at all. Even if the stop sign itself could be like many pages.

8:57🔗 Adam That's right.

8:57🔗 Drew That all are printed with the stop sign like a page of the book, each one printed with the stop sign. Some of the graffiti, you peel it off, there's a new stop sign underneath it.

9:05🔗 Adam Interesting. Interesting.

9:07🔗 Drew I'm proud of that idea.

9:09🔗 Adam Theoretically strong, but practically very weak.

9:12🔗 Drew Possibly.

9:12🔗 Adam Okay, but still the multi-layer film. Nice. That's number one. Number two, how about in Los Angeles, we start focusing on all the goddamn graffiti that's spread all over the goddamn place.

9:24🔗 Caller We got to get the smoke under control.

9:26🔗 Adam Yeah, and first we have to focus on the second-hand smoke, because first-rate killer, and 50-something thousand people die every year from second-hand smoke.

9:34🔗 Drew 50,000?

9:35🔗 Adam No. Nobody dies.

9:36🔗 Drew 49,000.

9:37🔗 Adam They just say they do. And by the way, yeah, we're so busy making sure people don't smoke a cigarette in the middle of the pier, in the middle of the beach, that we can't, but nothing about the tagging all over the place. The idea that we have to have razor wire around the freeway signs, it makes it look like escape from LA., like some sort of military compound, I think I'm driving onto when I'm going down the goddamn freeway. That not a problem. Smoking in the middle of the beach, huge problem, needs to be focused on.

10:07🔗 Drew The razor wire actually might be to keep renegade smokers from using the signs as a safe haven.

10:12🔗 Caller Oh, that's just a leftover razor wire from the beach. What are you talking about?

10:16🔗 Drew Oh, I see. OK.

10:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. Really, some guy blowing a butt out in the middle of a football field of sand, how does that affect your life? A huge?

10:27🔗 Drew First-rate killer.

10:28🔗 Adam First-rate killer. First-rate, yeah. Even with that 20 mile an hour wind blowing offshore, still going to kill you?

10:34🔗 Drew Isn't any kind of killers? Isn't all killers should be first-rate? How could you have a... Is there a ninth-rate killer?

10:39🔗 Caller Yes, there are.

10:40🔗 Drew Are there? I thought if you die, it's pretty much that one rate.

10:44🔗 Caller It kills you.

10:44🔗 Drew Yeah, it's an omni-rate.

10:46🔗 Adam All right. Now, here's another thing we got plenty of time and plenty of money for, for some reason. Also up my street, they tagged, they towed one of those things that let you know how fast you're going. So when the thing is marked...

10:59🔗 Drew The radar gun. The robotic radar gun.

11:01🔗 Adam Things mark 30.

11:02🔗 Caller Again, only Los Angeles. This is Los Angeles phenomenon. Explain to people what this is.

11:06🔗 Adam Well, first off, it's a device. It's a trailer. It's a digital readout.

11:10🔗 Drew It looks like a warning like they'd put on the highway if there's construction, right?

11:14🔗 Adam It's a big readout about the size of a plasma screen. I'm sure it costs us 250 grand. Some guy, even though they never have enough men, they're always short on manpower. There's never enough guys to handle all the calls. We can't put guys at the ports to inspect the containers coming in from the Middle East. But we always have enough guys to drag this crappy thing up there and let me go. No, I'm going 33 in a 30 mile an hour zone. Oh, I feel like a renegade when I go past there and I'm three. Stop me. Hey, by the way, I'm going to keep going. I'm going to Mexico. I'm going to Mexico.

11:48🔗 Drew Do they expect you to stop?

11:49🔗 Adam I'm not sure if they want to apologize. Should I just leave $20 on top of the thing?

11:54🔗 Caller Is it next time cops going to be sitting here?

11:56🔗 Adam It's like, look, there's things that are built in the cars. They're called speedometers. We know how goddamn fast we're going. You don't have to drop 200 grand on apparatus and then pay some retard to tow it up my street to make me feel like an a-hole for going three miles an hour faster than the posted speed limit, which is about 10 miles an hour slower than it should be anyway.

12:14🔗 Drew It's big brother. It's big brother, Adam. They want you to know that you're being watched. That's all that's important.

12:18🔗 Adam Focus on the gangbangers doing the tagging. Get out there and stop the terrorists and leave the guys that are coasting down the hill. Please, for the love of Christ, what are we doing? Who decides, oh, yeah, we got to do more of this and less of that. Yeah, get down to Santa Monica. Make sure no one's smoking on the beach. Get up the hill. Make sure no one's coasting down it three miles an hour faster than the speed limit. Would you get that crap out of there? And by the way, for the cost of one of those machines, you could probably pay a guy to work a couple of years on the street. Oh, yes. Yeah, for the cost of that one readout thing with the radar and the digital thing, you'd probably buy a squad car, a guy and a canine to sit in it for a year. Go get that. Get them out on the street. Stop, stop pussyfooting around. Jesus Christ. What is this town obsessed? By the way, are we, what are we so obsessed with speed for and stuff in this town? And what do we do? Do you drive around and just see cars on fire? Oh, that's another guy rolled it. Yeah, guy in his Porsche rolled it 15 times and then he caught on fire, cartwheeled. We all slamming into each other out there? What's going on?

13:23🔗 Drew Yeah, it seems a pretty slow crawl most of the time.

13:25🔗 We don't move in this town.

13:26🔗 Adam We know how fast we're going.

13:28🔗 Zero. We're not going anywhere.

13:30🔗 Adam I'm excited when I'm exceeding the speed limit. That's the problem. I turned around, went back up the hill, went past it again, faster.

13:36🔗 Drew Liberating, very liberating.

13:38🔗 Adam Yes, Jesus Christ. What's the obsession with the speed? This is the slowest goddamn path in the world. Why are we so obsessed on it? It's really ridiculous. Like, we got the only goddamn city in the world that doesn't move and we're obsessed on speed. Hey, oh, the highway patrols launching a campaign now. Sweep, slow it down. Really? Slow it down? We're not moving. We live in the middle of three of the most congested intersections on the planet. I swear to God, three of the top five freeway, most congested traffic per hour on the planet. That's where Los Angeles is nestled in between those three, the 405, the 101, the 10, over there, the 110. We're between all of those. And our campaign is slow. Here's our message. Slow it down and no smoking on the beach. Those are our messages.

14:31🔗 Drew Welcome to LA.

14:31🔗 Adam Fantastic. We got graffiti everywhere. There's big problems with illegal immigration. We got terrorists going to blow something up. But we need to focus on the smokers on the beach. We got to slow it down. What about the terrorists? We don't got the manpower. What about the guys on the beach? Well, they're busy. Well, what about the guy towing the multimillion dollar trailer up the hill? He's got that.

14:52🔗 Caller He's busy with that.

14:53🔗 Adam And then we got, well, by the way, we got to buy another, we got to buy another right hand drive meter made car. Yeah. We got a whole shipment of those coming in.

15:00🔗 Caller Because when they're not worried about speed, they're worried about parking.

15:02🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

15:03🔗 Drew Huge.

15:03🔗 Caller And jaywalking.

15:04🔗 Drew And the good thing, Adam, is at least you're giving solutions. You had your film idea.

15:08🔗 Adam I had my film.

15:09🔗 Drew You have, well, there is no real solution to the slow it down thing.

15:13🔗 Caller We're going to go tackle Amerihan.

15:15🔗 Adam I would like to work big to small. I don't know we're smoking on the beach lands in most cultures. To me, it's closer to the bottom. Terrorists just barely nips it. Just the plutonium that Channel 4, NBC, shipped out to the Port of Los Angeles and then carried through downtown LA without being stopped, marginally higher than the beach smoking. Just got it.

15:45🔗 Caller But just enough.

15:46🔗 Adam Just enough.

15:47🔗 Caller To then focus on a little more.

15:48🔗 Adam Just enough because dirty bombs being detonated in the middle of populated areas, first-rate killer too as well, second-hand smoke.

15:58🔗 Caller Again, just nudges out second-hand smoke.

16:00🔗 Adam Just nudges. And it's hard to tell where guys going 33 and a 30 rank, but that's got to be way up there.

16:08🔗 Caller And by the way, the reason we go more speedily when there's open road ahead of us.

16:12🔗 Adam Never see it.

16:13🔗 Caller Because we're sort of like a mirage at first probably.

16:15🔗 Drew It's like when a bear gets into a cooler.

16:23🔗 Adam It's like, oh, my God, there's hot dogs. We're not going to eat them one at the time. We're tearing into the packet.

16:30🔗 Caller You got me going now. This is what happened when I got nailed with that left hand turn that the cop trapped me on.

16:34🔗 Drew You got pulled over?

16:36🔗 Caller Trapped me.

16:36🔗 Adam I know exactly where it was.

16:38🔗 Drew The only speeding ticket I ever got was a situation. I'm driving down the highway, I-94, going into Detroit in Michigan and home of the World Championship Pistons, by the way. And I'm driving down the road and there's these lights pull up behind me and people kind of ride people's tails in Michigan. That's what they do and okay, I speed up a little more. I'm probably going maybe 65 now and these lights just right on my tail and at this point I'm trying to pull over but I'm kind of blocked in by some people next to me. So I speed up, I speed up, I speed up, then next thing you know, woo woo woo, they pull me over and you know, they entrapped me.

17:08🔗 Adam White guy can't get a break in Michigan.

17:10🔗 Drew Can you believe it?

17:10🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. Well here we're very worried about doctors turning left when it's posted, no left, 4 to 7 p.m. Certified doctors. First rate killer, by the way. All right, everybody, let's see, are you meeting with the mayor? You meet with them?

17:24🔗 Caller I've turned it all down. We could.

17:26🔗 Adam Well, give me over there. Give me an audience with the guy. Let me straighten him out.

17:30🔗 Drew We should meet with the governor.

17:31🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. What is going on? And listen, somebody with bigger balls than I should just ram that stupid thing that tells you how fast we're going.

17:41🔗 Drew This is a new format here on the show.

17:43🔗 Adam Where's the taggers? Why don't they tag that thing?

17:45🔗 Drew You could tag up over it and put your own speed on it.

17:48🔗 Adam That's right.

17:48🔗 Caller Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

17:49🔗 Drew This is like a ranting show now, though. I don't remember it being this rant filled.

17:52🔗 Caller You came in on a good rant.

17:54🔗 Drew Well, it is Thursday, after all.

17:56🔗 Adam Yeah, that's rant day. Mercy?

17:58🔗 Yes.

17:58🔗 Adam You're 19?

18:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:01🔗 Adam What's up?

18:02🔗 Caller I recently found out that I'm allergic to latex.

18:05🔗 Caller How did you find that out?

18:07🔗 Caller I just got a brand new job and they did a blood test on me and found out that I'm allergic to latex. But I don't know. I've never noticed that I'm allergic to it.

18:19🔗 Caller Yeah. I don't know that I put that much faith in that test. They do an ELISA test? You don't know what kind of test they did?

18:28🔗 Caller I don't know.

18:29🔗 Drew Where do you work that they do a blood test?

18:31🔗 Caller It was not a skin test. It was a blood test.

18:33🔗 Caller Yeah. They took my blood.

18:34🔗 Caller Yeah. If you've never reacted before.

18:38🔗 Caller No. And they said that I'm highly allergic to it.

18:42🔗 Caller Well, avoid latex.

18:44🔗 Drew Yeah, they make those new condoms that are made out of all kinds of stuff.

18:47🔗 Caller Well, to Andrew, right to the condoms.

18:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:49🔗 Caller Well, I think I like latex gloves over a condom.

18:51🔗 Drew Oh, no, no, no. When I hear latex.

18:53🔗 Caller You think condom.

18:54🔗 Drew I think that and I think, you know, S&M restraint.

18:56🔗 Adam How about my 3M film that you peel off?

18:59🔗 Drew You could use that as a stop for graffiti.

19:02🔗 Adam Yeah. And also a good preventative barrier against the spread of disease.

19:06🔗 Caller Have you ever contacted latex, Marcy?

19:08🔗 Caller I have. I've been in contact with it since I was younger because my mom works in the hospital.

19:13🔗 Caller And you never had a reaction?

19:14🔗 Caller She's allergic to it too.

19:16🔗 Caller Oh, that's interesting. Well, you got to avoid, you got to use the polyurethane gloves and condoms.

19:20🔗 Adam Yeah, they got them. They got them to operate on people who are allergic to latex, right?

19:24🔗 Caller That's true.

19:25🔗 Adam Yeah, that's good times. Gwen had an abortion two years ago. It still has mental effects. That's a bummer, Drew. Who do we got over here? Heather?

19:35🔗 Caller Here you go.

19:36🔗 Adam She's growing a 19-year-old? That's better. Heather?

19:39🔗 Yeah.

19:40🔗 Adam You're 16?

19:41🔗 Caller Yep.

19:42🔗 Adam Having sex with a 19-year-old? Your mom says it's okay?

19:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:46🔗 Drew Awesome.

19:47🔗 Caller That's your mom.

19:49🔗 Adam Yeah, what is up with your mom?

19:51🔗 Drew Oh, I wasn't planning on getting into this. Can we get more explicit now, Drew?

19:56🔗 Caller Of course, but wait till you're a parent, Andrew. Just wait.

19:59🔗 Drew I can only imagine, yet, I would have to go by similar rules that my parents said, and I was able to sleep over with my girlfriend at either of our houses when I was 15, so there. Really?

20:08🔗 Caller How old was she?

20:09🔗 Drew 15.

20:10🔗 Caller Yeah, but this is with an adult. Boyfriend's 19.

20:12🔗 Drew Oh, oh, well. See, now here we go again. Now, the difference between 18 and 19, or 17 and 18, and 30 and 33, this is the miles per hour, this is very similar to me. There's a magical thing that happens.

20:23🔗 Caller The difference between 16 and 18 is profound. Profound.

20:27🔗 Drew For some, I guess that's true.

20:28🔗 Caller There's a dramatic change in the growth of the brain, the development of the brain.

20:32🔗 Drew Is she still on the phone? Maybe she would know.

20:34🔗 Adam Hold on a second.

20:34🔗 Drew Maybe she's old enough.

20:35🔗 Adam First off, you missed a golden opportunity. Golden opportunity, Andrew, is to use my, yeah, but still, which is what you use. Watch. Watch. You correct me. You do what you did, Andrew. Hey, listen, when I was 15, I used to stay over at my 15-year-old girlfriend's house.

20:50🔗 Caller How old was your girlfriend? 15. This guy's an adult. There's a profound difference between 16 and 19.

20:55🔗 Drew On the count of three. One, two, three. Yeah, but still.

20:57🔗 Adam No, this guy's 19.

20:59🔗 Caller This guy's 19.

21:00🔗 Adam Yeah, but still. You ready? I was 15. I used to spend the night at my girlfriend's house. She was 15. I was OK.

21:06🔗 Caller Heather's talking about a boyfriend who's 19.

21:08🔗 Adam Yeah, but still. You see?

21:11🔗 Caller It worked.

21:13🔗 Adam It shut him up, and you're still sort of right.

21:15🔗 Drew It's so powerful.

21:16🔗 Adam It's powerful.

21:17🔗 Caller Thank you.

21:17🔗 Drew I remember that. And for all kinds of situations, I can use that.

21:19🔗 Adam Yes, you can work that in later on. I don't know. She's calling from Wisconsin. Hey, Heather. Oh, wait a minute. Put her on hold. That's right. All right, Heather. Wait a minute. Andrew, you got to sleep at your girlfriend's house. What about her parents?

21:34🔗 Drew They were cool, too.

21:35🔗 Caller No way.

21:36🔗 Drew And see, you couldn't...

21:37🔗 Caller They were strung out on heroin.

21:38🔗 Adam Were you having sex?

21:39🔗 Drew My dad is a...

21:40🔗 Adam Were you having sex?

21:41🔗 Drew Oh, absolutely.

21:42🔗 Adam And their parents? Did everyone's parents know you were having sex?

21:44🔗 Drew I told my mom that we did. Yeah.

21:46🔗 Caller So her parents? Her parents.

21:49🔗 Drew Yeah, they were fine with it, too. They really were. They really were. Our parents could have been more different. Hers were younger, a little more liberated. My dad's like a college professor and my mom is a mom. So there's no one reason in particular why it worked out. They just, I think, felt like it was OK. Who knows? I've talked to my mom about it since and she said it was very challenging for her. But clearly, it turned out OK.

22:11🔗 Caller Did you see those kids you met a few minutes ago? Yeah. 14, 15.

22:15🔗 Drew Yeah, it's intense. It's very intense because my brother's 20 and even now I can't picture him having sex.

22:23🔗 Adam Now, did they talk to you about protection? What about the parents of your girlfriend when you would go sleep over and stuff?

22:29🔗 Drew I felt uncomfortable, actually, to be honest. That's the thing, as much as it puts everybody in a kind of awkward position. When I get up in the morning, I walk down, there's her dad getting ready for work and oh, good to see you. It was weird because I felt I was trying to be something maybe that I wasn't, meaning a man.

22:47🔗 Adam Right.

22:47🔗 Drew But I learned a lot from it. It was my first girlfriend. I was with her for five years in the end and so it was a very positive experience.

22:54🔗 Caller That's part of the problem. You really should have been with somebody for five years of that age? Think about it.

23:01🔗 Adam Yeah, but still.

23:04🔗 Drew I feel fine.

23:07🔗 Caller Would you have done it differently though if you could?

23:08🔗 Drew Oh no, no, no. Absolutely not.

23:09🔗 Caller Because you missed all those years of potentially meeting other people and dating. But he was banging away like a chimp under the roof with the blessing of the father. One of my points has always been is that 15, 16 years old start having sex are usually locked together for four or five years because it's such an intense bond. Well, yes, and you miss development, basically miss and then you end up believing that person always.

23:30🔗 Drew I agree with this and I think that's good to point out for anyone listening. But at the same time, any choice you make is going to result in the the absolution of other choices where you're going to you're always going to miss something one way or another.

23:39🔗 Caller So hopefully, opportunity costs.

23:41🔗 Drew Yeah, you make you make the best of whichever way you go for it. And I certainly was going for it in that bedroom, I'll tell you.

23:46🔗 Adam Well, let me let me ask you this. You guys say this started at 15. And you must have been together for some time before you started sleeping over.

23:56🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. We're probably 14 and a half right into 15.

23:59🔗 Caller When you started sleeping over 15?

24:01🔗 Drew Yeah, 15 was when we started.

24:02🔗 Adam So you really her parents only knew you as their as the boyfriend for about six months.

24:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

24:08🔗 Adam Which is a fairly substantial period of time at that age. 15 or 14 or whatever was the date of history?

24:14🔗 Drew Let's see. Well, it was like 90. Ten years ago.

24:21🔗 Adam Ninety-four.

24:22🔗 Drew Yeah, it's about 93, 94.

24:23🔗 Caller Wow.

24:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

24:24🔗 Caller I could see that. 74. Wow.

24:27🔗 Drew Awesome. We should point out that is a unique situation. And like you said, if it was my own child, I don't think I would be able to go through it.

24:34🔗 Adam Well, let me say this, too.

24:36🔗 Caller You cannot judge, Adam.

24:37🔗 Adam I can. I'll tell you one thing. I'll bet you that, A, these parents trusted their daughter quite a bit, not just turned a blind eye to things, but she was probably up front. She was probably honest and they were probably trusted her quite a bit. And I bet Andrew was probably minus the bleeding forehead back then and the beard. Andrew, when he wants to put on the charm, can do a good job. And I'm very respectful.

25:09🔗 Caller The debate came. Chess club.

25:11🔗 Adam No, I bet you Andrew, who is probably wise, be honest, years at 15, didn't seem like trouble. Do you know what I mean?

25:20🔗 Drew And I think they definitely still gave me the benefit of the doubt.

25:22🔗 Adam I bet it was one of those things that when the parents do this and Drew disagrees with this, and it's probably not the greatest parenting, but they still they think this way. They go, better than go out and get drunk in a park with some hooligans, you should stay at home and I'll get you a six pack.

25:35🔗 Caller Would you? That's true. That's true.

25:37🔗 Adam Let him bang you instead of getting raped at a party with roofies and robot houses. Let Andrew bang you under our roof. Andrew need a towel. You're cool. You need a place to finish. What do you need, son?

25:51🔗 Drew Actually, I need a little more lubricant.

25:53🔗 Adam You need some more water.

25:55🔗 Drew You'll never believe this, but.

25:56🔗 Adam Hold on. Hold on.

25:57🔗 Drew Please, can I get more graphic here?

25:59🔗 Adam We got to take a break. Yes. And then you can get more graphic. But you have to remember to get more graphic when we come back.

26:04🔗 Drew I'll remember.

26:05🔗 Adam Andrew WK is here. The Wolf is the name of the CD. Your friends. name of the show, MTV2. Show premiered Saturday, May 27th. Oh, OK, yeah. It's a month.

26:20🔗 Drew It's been going for just about a month now. Saturday nights at 6 p.m. here in the West Coast, 9 p.m. Eastern. Check your local listings everywhere else.

26:26🔗 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

26:33🔗 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

26:36🔗 Loveline will be right back.

26:37🔗 Caller This is Live at 05.

26:42🔗 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. The Vandals are coming on Sunday night, Andrew WK in studio tonight. Thank you. The Wolf, name of the CD. We'll hear something off of that. Also, your friend, Andrew WK on MTV2, Saturday Nights. Yes. All right. Andrew was going to get a little more graphic.

27:09🔗 Drew Okay. I just wanted to... We were talking about...

27:11🔗 Adam Let's reset. When Andrew was 15, he used to sleep over at his girlfriend's house.

27:16🔗 Drew Which was my first girlfriend.

27:17🔗 Caller He was with her for five years.

27:18🔗 Drew She was also 15.

27:19🔗 Adam With the blessing of not only his parents, but her parents.

27:23🔗 Drew Yes, yes.

27:24🔗 Adam All right. And you guys would have sex.

27:26🔗 Drew Yep. And you had made a joke about the parents coming in and saying, how's it going? You know, do you need a towel? Yeah. And it's not as bad as what you're thinking, but they would, we would use their condoms and they would get us condoms. And they would get us the natural sheep, the sheep intestine condoms that were theirs. Why? I don't even know. Like that is pretty intense.

27:49🔗 Adam And they're giving you good stuff, too.

27:51🔗 Drew Yeah, the real night Ramses, you know, or whatever those ones are. You know, it was, or the gold coin.

27:55🔗 Caller Did they want you guys to get an STD or something?

27:57🔗 Drew Oh, are those bad?

27:58🔗 Adam No, no, they.

28:02🔗 Caller Your girlfriend amazed?

28:03🔗 Adam Well.

28:03🔗 Drew No, that's true. No, she didn't, because we lost our virginity to each other. So we felt pretty confident in that.

28:10🔗 Adam Unless they call it grids back then. Now, Andrew, so now here's a question. I mean, here.

28:15🔗 Caller I call it maze.

28:16🔗 Adam Here's the, and truce people call it maze. Here's the real, here's the test. Do you keep in touch with her and- How did she turn out? Well, because that'll let us know how this experiment worked.

28:28🔗 Caller Because the guy always turns out okay from these.

28:31🔗 Adam Yeah, if she killed herself at 21 because she's strung out on junk, I'm not going to go this route.

28:35🔗 Caller Of course, Andrew does have this thing coming in his forehead and all.

28:37🔗 Drew We should explain. I have a cut on my forehead, which I think depending where you live, you could actually see in a more bloody state on the Craig Kilborn show, which I will be on later this evening. But what happened?

28:50🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute, Drew. Hold on. Andrew, does anyone do worse radio than you? Let him answer his goddamn question.

28:55🔗 Drew Yeah, what were we talking about?

28:57🔗 Adam We want to know how she turned out.

28:59🔗 Drew You know, I haven't talked to her in a while, but I did keep in contact with her. Before I ever knew her, I was good friends with her older brother, who I kind of idolized. Wow, sleeping over. Yeah, and he was really cool, and I still see him around. They're kind of mutual friends between a lot of people I know, but...

29:15🔗 Caller How did she turn out?

29:16🔗 Drew She seems fine, as far as I can tell, happy, and maybe a bit at a loss for exactly what she wants to do, but that's not completely uncommon.

29:27🔗 Caller Was she at home?

29:28🔗 Drew No, I don't believe so. She actually was, like her brother, very independent, and though she is very close with her mom and her parents, she moved to New York with me when we were 18 together.

29:38🔗 Adam Wow, she only goes home to screw. Dad, what's going on? I just need to use the room. Could you clear it out? I got to get some. Then I'll go back to my apartment.

29:47🔗 Drew Holy smokes. But I want to say, I never have talked about this really so openly like this, and it is a bit bizarre that I got to do that.

29:54🔗 Adam It is weird. I'll tell you a fun thing in life, it's actually better if you're high on mushrooms, but take a little time out. Go back and look at those things in your life that you just, now here's the thing, when you're a kid, whatever it is, is, and that's the way it is for everybody, it seems.

30:10🔗 Caller Or you fight for it.

30:11🔗 Adam Well, here's what I mean. I just mean culture. It's almost like saying, look, if you grow up in the Serengeti in Africa, you're going to have a certain kind of lifestyle. You're going to grow up looking at cheetahs and it's going to feel very normal to you. You're never going to think about it.

30:26🔗 Drew You have no perspective to compare it to.

30:27🔗 Adam You have no perspective. You have nothing to compare it to. Once in a while, now you get outside the house, you meet new people, you start seeing other families and how people were reared and how it works. You go back and look at some ass that went down in your family and all of a sudden you go, wow, that was wrong or that was weird or I was lucky or I was unlucky.

30:44🔗 Drew Or it was awesome.

30:45🔗 Adam Or it was awesome. Andrew, where do you go from there? You can only go sideways. You're sleeping over at your girlfriend's house at 15.

30:53🔗 Caller Still not clear that she turned out okay. She has relationships now?

30:56🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had a boyfriend, not immediately after me, but who was a bit older than she was. But he seemed cool. I've never even met him. I hope she's doing fantastic. I think, in some ways, yes, people have wondered with me, well, don't you wish you had gone to see a lot of different girls then and gone on dates? And I haven't had that many girlfriends. I've only had like four or five in my whole life, and they've usually been either very short or long.

31:25🔗 Caller How old are you now?

31:26🔗 Drew 25.

31:27🔗 Caller Short or long?

31:29🔗 Adam They haven't been short or long.

31:30🔗 Drew Well, not medium.

31:31🔗 Adam They've been short, long, or medium. But nothing else. Andrew WK here. You guys writing this down? This is heavy.

31:40🔗 Drew This is good.

31:41🔗 Adam Yeah. He's, Andrew also told us during the break that he only dated Caucasian, Asian, Hispanic, black and Eskimo women.

31:50🔗 Drew Only humans.

31:52🔗 Adam And then any other country you guys have ever thought of for pictures. But that's it. That's it. And tall and short ones.

31:58🔗 And then Yogi Berro was that one.

32:00🔗 Drew Yogi Berro. Yogi Berro.

32:04🔗 Adam Yeah, let me say this about, we gotta take some calls, but I was thinking about, I don't know why Andrew just brought up Yogi Berro, but I was thinking about Yogi Berro, the cartoon. He wore a hat and a tie with a collar, no pants or shirt.

32:17🔗 Caller Right.

32:18🔗 Drew Chippendales vibe.

32:18🔗 Adam People didn't find that disturbing. But imagine you with it, somehow the collar makes it creepier. You with a collar, a tie, a hat and no pants.

32:28🔗 Caller What a boo-boo hat.

32:30🔗 Adam I think you wore a bow tie and no pants.

32:34🔗 Drew As long as the cuffs match the collar.

32:35🔗 Caller Chippendales.

32:36🔗 Adam All I'm saying is that's a very creepy look if you were to sport that at the office.

32:41🔗 Hey, hey, boo-boo.

32:42🔗 Take a knick basket.

32:45🔗 Drew Anyway.

32:46🔗 Adam All right, Matt. Wait, we never even finished with Heather.

32:49🔗 Drew Yeah.

32:50🔗 Adam We're taking half a call tonight. Heather? Wow.

32:54🔗 Drew Thanks for holding so long.

32:56🔗 Adam You got Andrew going on a banging minors jack. You call the tangent, I call it banging minors jack.

33:03🔗 Caller What is your question?

33:04🔗 Caller Well, since my boyfriend's 19 and my mom said that, yeah, we could be together, can he still get in trouble from the police?

33:11🔗 Caller Yes.

33:12🔗 Caller He can?

33:13🔗 Caller But usually somebody has to make trouble.

33:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Someone's got to...

33:17🔗 Caller It's not as though they're going to stop him.

33:18🔗 Drew He's taking a risk no matter what.

33:19🔗 Caller But it's not as though they're going to stop him on the street if they see you two walking together.

33:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

33:23🔗 Drew And we don't give you a weird look, though.

33:24🔗 Adam I don't know what the age of consent is in Wisconsin. Drew wasn't able to...

33:27🔗 Caller I can't find the...

33:28🔗 Adam Can't find his paper. Don't talk to Chris.

33:30🔗 Drew It is 18.

33:32🔗 Adam So it could be... Wisconsin, it could be legal. Why don't you get on the Internet and find out, Heather?

33:39🔗 Drew All right.

33:40🔗 Caller Take care of those sinus problems, will you? No kidding.

33:45🔗 Drew Just drink fluids.

33:46🔗 Adam She told you to shut up, Drew. All right, Heather, I'm sure you'll go very far in life. You sound like a delight.

33:53🔗 Andrew W.K. All right. I like the tag.

33:55🔗 Adam I like to just tag her.

33:56🔗 Drew You guys.

33:57🔗 Adam Mark her migration when she just went in a circle between, like, the Arby's and the TGI Fridays.

34:03🔗 Caller That's a circle, okay.

34:05🔗 Adam And just, just, just, you know, sort of, I'd lose track of that.

34:09🔗 Caller All right.

34:10🔗 Adam We gotta be cool. Well, she told Drew to shut up.

34:12🔗 Caller No, it's all right.

34:13🔗 Adam Only I can yell at her.

34:14🔗 Caller That was a...

34:15🔗 Drew It was gut reaction out of it. Being put on the spot. Yeah, it was friendly.

34:18🔗 Andrew W.K. I'm sure. Appreciate you taking my call.

34:23🔗 Adam What's happening?

34:25🔗 Andrew W.K. Well, you guys want to know the whole school?

34:27🔗 Adam Well, it says here you're blind from a meth lab explosion.

34:30🔗 Andrew W.K. That's true.

34:32🔗 Adam That's crazy. Now, when you say blind, you mean can't see light?

34:35🔗 Andrew W.K. I can barely see light out of my left eye. I'm totally can't see nothing out of my right.

34:41🔗 Drew How old are you?

34:43🔗 Andrew W.K. I'm 23. Well, I'm not sure why but my parents thought I was cute to give me liquor when I was young. So, the first time I got drunk, I was 6. I started smoking cigarettes when I was 9. I started smoking marijuana when I was 12. When I was 16, I started using meth and cocaine. By the time that I was 18, I was pretty much gone, lost my job, everything. And the only way to support my habit when I was homeless was to start manufacturing. I learned real quick, got in it, and that was my security, I guess you could say. I didn't really have anything to worry about. When I was 20, I met this girl, met her dad. He handed me a thermos of a hydrosammonia, which is, farmers use it as a fertilizer, meth cooks use it to cook. It was covered in snow, and I squatted down to clean the snow off of it. Looked to see that the lube was shut, and boom, it blew up about 18 inches below my face.

35:39🔗 Drew That's how you went blind?

35:40🔗 Andrew W.K. Yeah. And a lot of people think that, oh, well, it's a fire explosion, but it wasn't. It was just a chemical. It froze my face.

35:47🔗 Adam Oh, really?

35:48🔗 Caller Have you called before? Go ahead.

35:51🔗 Andrew W.K. Nope.

35:53🔗 Adam So, it was an explosion from the pressure that built up inside the thermos?

35:57🔗 Andrew W.K. Exactly.

35:59🔗 Adam And what came out of it was freezing liquid or gas?

36:04🔗 Andrew W.K. Freezing liquid, that's what, in hydro-summonia, is a gas, and if it's condensed under pressure, it makes itself, it condenses into a liquid, I guess.

36:12🔗 Adam I'll tell you one thing. Hold on a second, Matt. You know, we talk, we, you know, drug dealers and everything, but the only people, like, know the metric system or anything about chemicals or anything are the guys who manufacture drugs.

36:24🔗 Drew The chemists.

36:25🔗 Adam Yeah, they know how many grams are in a kilo, they know, they can break that whole thing down. This guy really sounds like a pharmacist here. He's smarter than everybody who calls the show, so the thermos blow up on him. Matt?

36:39🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:39🔗 Andrew W.K. All right.

36:40🔗 Adam Well, and now what, by the way, what was your girlfriend's dad doing? Was he trying to help you out or trying to?

36:48🔗 Andrew W.K. No, he knew how to make it, but it wasn't as good as what I was making and he wanted me to teach him my way of doing things.

36:55🔗 Adam So it blew up, you called the, he called the ambulance and you went to the hospital?

37:02🔗 Andrew W.K. Actually, when I picked myself up off the floor, he was nowhere to be found. I walked outside and I mean, this stuff burnt my face, it burnt my lungs. Yeah, he took off.

37:12🔗 Drew Wow, what a creep.

37:13🔗 Caller You could still see at that point?

37:14🔗 Andrew W.K. Yeah, it was real, real blurry, but yeah, I could see.

37:18🔗 Caller And then that was it?

37:20🔗 Andrew W.K. Her mom ended up showing up about 20, 30 minutes later and I just, Dr. Drew, I knew I was going to die. I couldn't breathe.

37:27🔗 Caller How long ago was this?

37:29🔗 Andrew W.K. It was three and a half years ago.

37:30🔗 Adam It was 20.

37:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:31🔗 Adam You know what? Why? I mean, Drew probably knows and Matt probably knows too. If you could see, not too well, but still see immediately after it.

37:41🔗 Caller Press scarred over his corneas.

37:42🔗 Adam Then it's scarred up.

37:44🔗 Andrew W.K. Yeah.

37:45🔗 Adam So you went in, there's nothing they could do about it.

37:47🔗 Andrew W.K. Well, actually.

37:49🔗 Caller Corneal transplants?

37:50🔗 Andrew W.K. I did have a cornea transplant on my right eye.

37:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:53🔗 Andrew W.K. And most people think after what I've been through, because I was on life support for like 11 days.

37:58🔗 Caller There's a lung problem?

38:01🔗 Andrew W.K. And most people think they'll be enough to make me quit using, but I was back out in parking lot getting high at the hospital. And I ended up...

38:07🔗 Caller That is there, ladies and gentlemen. That is the magic of addiction. Yeah.

38:12🔗 Andrew W.K. Dr. Drew, that ain't half of it. I ended up checking myself out against medical advice when they caught me. If I'm on, you know...

38:19🔗 Caller Again, the drive to use is more powerful than the drive to survive.

38:23🔗 Andrew W.K. So I'm totally blind. I didn't... I had to wear a bandana over my eyes because the sunlight hurt so bad. And before my eyes were even healed, I was back out there stealing hydras, totally blind, and making meth again, totally blind.

38:36🔗 Drew Can I ask you a question?

38:37🔗 Andrew W.K. Wow.

38:37🔗 Drew Did you use store-bought ephedrine pills?

38:41🔗 Andrew W.K. Pills, yeah. Ephedrine pills.

38:43🔗 Caller Were you ever one of these cooks that was, you know, sort of put offshore and made big batches for organized people, kind of thing? They put them out on a boat and they just have them cook nonstop for like three weeks and then they sort of kick them back out on the street.

39:03🔗 Andrew W.K. Yeah, I'm in Midwest and Illinois, so we ain't really the closest we get to the river.

39:09🔗 Adam Wow.

39:10🔗 Drew That's what happens when one of the laws that keep this stuff so cracked down, you know what I mean? The people have to resort to this kind of underground, dangerous ways of surviving.

39:22🔗 Adam What are you doing now? So are you still getting high?

39:24🔗 Andrew W.K. No, actually, after I had the corner transplant, I lost that. I went back totally blind again for using the medicine. I got infected.

39:34🔗 Caller Oh, my God. So you were on your way to having vision and they lost it again.

39:39🔗 Andrew W.K. When they took the patch off my eye, he asked how many fingers he was holding up. I told him two. I walked out of the hospital without a stick. I was so happy. That happened four months after the accident took place, but the doctor never knew that I was still getting high, so I ended up losing it. My mom was an alcoholic. She ended up getting drunk one night. My little brother told her that I was still cooking dope wine. And the best thing that she ever did, I remember her beat me bloody when I was a kid. The best thing she ever did for me, Dr. Drew, was she called the task force on me. So I ended up getting arrested, man, and I was charged.

40:11🔗 Adam By the way, Drew, this is your childhood. This is exactly, I mean, from what you've told me, this sounds like...

40:17🔗 Caller Between Andrew and Matt, yes, it's exactly.

40:21🔗 Andrew W.K. So I ended up getting charged with a class X-Care six to 30 years for unlawful drug conspiracy and a class one four to 15 years for possession of a methamphetamine manufacturer.

40:30🔗 Adam Become an expert when you get in an adjournment.

40:33🔗 Caller Law, chemistry.

40:34🔗 Adam Law, chemistry.

40:34🔗 Drew You should, you really should.

40:36🔗 Adam Otherwise, you're doubly screwed.

40:38🔗 Caller All right.

40:38🔗 Adam So we got to go to break, but what is it?

40:41🔗 Andrew W.K. Well, they ended up giving me six years. I just got out. I did two years on it. I did a year in adjoining. I was the first blind person ever to be accepted in a work release program, but they wanted me to go to school. Sent the Benner, learned Braille, learned how to type, started writing a book. And I wanted to, they said, well, what do you want to be? I want to be a drug counselor. So I went my first semester through college, Illinois Central College, to be a drug counselor, walked out with a 3.5 grade.

41:09🔗 Caller Wow, congratulations.

41:11🔗 Andrew W.K. Also, to help me, because I mean, I have to work a 12-step program or I'll be right back where I was.

41:18🔗 Caller You betcha, man.

41:18🔗 Andrew W.K. And I'm trucking real hard. But another thing that helps me relive my story is I talk to kids at schools and high schools. And the thing is that people don't know what they're getting themselves into.

41:32🔗 Drew Getting themselves into when they have you come to talk to them?

41:35🔗 Caller No, we're doing drugs.

41:35🔗 Adam I'm guessing doing drugs. All right. I got to cut Matt off because we got to take a break and we're going on in a minute 15 with Matt. An incredible story. Yeah.

41:43🔗 Drew Sometimes you just got to hear exactly what happens to people.

41:46🔗 Adam And I think we did. So...

41:51🔗 Caller But isn't recovery a miracle? Look, imagine you met Matt in the depths of his disease, out in the park, shooting dope with the eye patches on and now look what you got.

42:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:01🔗 Caller You know what I mean? That's what keeps me in the field is a few mats and a year and you keep going. There's always hope.

42:07🔗 Adam Matt and the money. We'll take a quick break. Andrew WK in tonight. We'll be right back after this.

42:19🔗 Andrew W.K. You're listening to Live 105.

42:40🔗 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Andrew WK here tonight. Your friend, Andrew WK., name of the show. MTV2, Saturday Nights, also The Wolf.

42:53🔗 Can I explain about the TV show?

42:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:57🔗 Drew Oh, wait, no, he's still on the phone, though. We shouldn't do that again.

42:59🔗 Adam No, no, here's what we should do. Here's what we need to do. I say, because we only got about four minutes here, I say we take two calls and we don't talk. We just take two calls and then we come back after the break. Then we hear a song from Andrew WK and then Andrew explains about the show.

43:16🔗 Caller Okay, quick.

43:18🔗 Adam Jacob.

43:19🔗 Caller Yes, me?

43:20🔗 Adam You're 13?

43:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:22🔗 Adam You're a huge fan?

43:24🔗 Caller Of The Three Stooges, The Simpsons, George Shrinks and Cyberchase. You know that cartoon George Shrinks, right?

43:31🔗 Adam Yeah.

43:32🔗 Caller You know, it's about that small kid named George.

43:35🔗 Drew Oh, the genius?

43:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

43:36🔗 Drew The genius?

43:37🔗 Caller Yeah, you've seen a cartoon called Cyberchase, right?

43:41🔗 Adam All right. Who are you a big fan of?

43:46🔗 Caller Jacob? Jacob.

43:47🔗 Caller What?

43:48🔗 Caller Where are we going?

43:49🔗 Adam Where? Where do you think we are? Your homeroom? I'm 40, for Christ's sake. Now, what do you want?

43:57🔗 Caller Oh, which one? Do you like any of those shows?

44:01🔗 Drew Yeah, I love The Simpsons. My name's Andrew Jacob and I really love The Simpsons a lot. So I can relate to you on that. And I love The Three Stooges with both their lineups. I think so. Whatever you like, I like. Let's just put it that way.

44:18🔗 Adam All right there, buddy. All right, good times. I'm going with Virgin, by the way.

44:23🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, good bet.

44:25🔗 Adam That was a fantastic screening job, by the way. It was fantastic.

44:29🔗 Drew You wanted a short, quick, concise call.

44:31🔗 Adam It says, guest, huge fan.

44:35🔗 Drew He's a fan of totally, totally unrelated stuff.

44:38🔗 Caller He's a fan of everything else.

44:39🔗 Drew But he is a huge fan, so that's all he said.

44:42🔗 Caller I'm a huge fan.

44:43🔗 Drew And he's very enthusiastic.

44:45🔗 Caller That's how we answer the phone.

44:46🔗 Adam That's right. Brittany?

44:47🔗 Caller Fan of everything.

44:49🔗 Adam Brittany? You're 15? What's up?

44:54🔗 Caller All right, I'm 15 and my boyfriend's 17. And we've been going out for about almost two years.

45:02🔗 Caller Does your parents let him spend the night?

45:05🔗 Caller No, I wish. But we just recently have been having sex for like two months.

45:14🔗 Drew Can I ask you a quick question? Just right off the bat? So if they don't let him sleep over, meaning they don't condone you guys having sex, right? Your parents, do they know your parents know that you are?

45:23🔗 Caller No.

45:24🔗 Drew And do you think if they did, they wouldn't be happy about it, right?

45:28🔗 Caller No, they wouldn't.

45:28🔗 Drew So where do you do it? Like how do you, how do you do it?

45:32🔗 Caller Automobiles.

45:33🔗 Caller No, not in automobiles.

45:35🔗 Drew Parks and bushes and things?

45:39🔗 Caller No, at his house.

45:41🔗 Drew Okay, his house.

45:41🔗 Caller So his parents allow?

45:43🔗 Caller Yeah. Oh, wow.

45:45🔗 Caller All right, what's the question?

45:53🔗 Adam I swear to Christ. I tried, God knows I tried.

45:57🔗 Caller You really did.

45:57🔗 Adam Put this on a tape and I'm gonna fight for my program. Director yells at me every time I see him, take calls, take calls, take calls. God knows I tried. I tried, I was silent. I said, what, I'm trying to get to it. What do you want? When you say the guest, when you get a prompt? Nothing, we couldn't do it.

46:11🔗 Drew Both of those, yeah.

46:12🔗 Adam Handball against the curtains. The first kid, he couldn't even hear me talking to him. He had no idea what I was talking about. I just wanted to talk about a 70-year-old TV show.

46:20🔗 Drew He called it, but I think he called to a different show, I think, is what he thought.

46:23🔗 Caller Yes.

46:24🔗 Adam Brittany, he spoke to us like there was a guy jumping up and down, flapping his arms, trying to get her attention the entire time she was on the phone with us. All right, that's it. I've learned my lesson. No more talking to you.

46:34🔗 Drew No one can say you tried, you did try.

46:36🔗 Adam Why should I talk to you when I'm so interesting?

46:39🔗 Drew That's true.

46:40🔗 Adam All right, Andrew WK, who's also interesting, and Dr. Drew's got a degree between the three of us. We don't need these goddamn callers. You see what we get? All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Here it is, bottom line, it sucks being single today.

46:54🔗 Drew Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

46:57🔗 Call the Dateline.

46:57🔗 Drew Call the Dateline.

46:59🔗 1-877-889-DATE.

47:05🔗 Drew Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

47:33🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Andrew WK here tonight. Your friend, Andrew WK. Name of the show, Saturday Nights on MTV2. Also, The Wolf, name of the CD. And I swear to Christ, we're gonna hear a song off of that CD. Are we gonna start with that? We're gonna-

47:54🔗 Caller Take a call.

47:55🔗 Adam No.

47:56🔗 You're right.

47:59🔗 Adam I've been burned for years over that take a call thing.

48:02🔗 Drew He picked up my drawing here.

48:04🔗 Adam Andrew.

48:04🔗 Caller Doodle like this, Adam?

48:05🔗 Drew No, actually, Dr. Drew's holding a little pen drawing I've just been doodling on as we've been talking here. But I was inspired by you, Adam, because you were doodling as well. And it seemed-

48:15🔗 Caller Yeah, but look at his.

48:17🔗 Drew Can we get a look at yours?

48:19🔗 Adam Yeah, mine, I usually write numbers in succession. I just write one, two, I get to about 35, and then either I get bored or I can't figure out what the next set is. But, yeah, I do a little doodling.

48:32🔗 Drew Yeah, his are quite good, too.

48:34🔗 Adam Doesn't mean anything.

48:35🔗 Drew No, exactly.

48:36🔗 Adam Or maybe it means everything, I have no idea.

48:39🔗 Drew If you interpret it the right way, it could mean just about anything you want.

48:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

48:42🔗 Drew Are we gonna play the song?

48:43🔗 Adam Yeah, we are gonna play the song.

48:45🔗 Drew Let's just get it over with.

48:46🔗 Adam Yeah.

48:47🔗 Drew Let's just get it over with.

48:48🔗 Adam I don't look at it that way.

48:49🔗 Drew Oh, I'm looking at it that way. But I like this song.

48:51🔗 Adam You do.

48:51🔗 Drew It's called Your Rules.

48:52🔗 Adam That's what it is. Name of the CD, and also, we thought we would talk a little about the TV show on MTV.

51:35🔗 Drew Yes.

51:36🔗 Caller Tell us all about it.

51:36🔗 Adam Yeah, tell us all about it.

51:37🔗 Drew Yes, I would like to. This is a TV series on MTV2, which is in its infancy. It's been on the air for three weeks. I'm amazed that it went on the air at all, and in fact, when we were filming this show, we filmed the whole season already. It's nine episodes. I wouldn't even tell people about the show because I was so convinced that it wouldn't even go to air because who in their right mind would let me have my own show? Not only that, but let me have the freedom to make the show about whatever I wanted. That's exactly what MTV2 did. And with that freedom, I chose to make it not just about me, but hopefully a group or a public show, show that's open to anybody. And the way the show works is it's an advice show, much like you'd write in to Dear Abby or Ann Landers, professionals, maybe people calling in here, looking for advice, except that I'm not qualified or certified or legally authorized to help them. However, my desire to help is as strong as anyone else's. And when they write in their letters, I answer them on the air, I give written answers, and best of all, I'll go to their house in person and try to help them out.

52:42🔗 Adam Really?

52:42🔗 Drew That's the way it works, yeah. And it's been phenomenal. I mean, just for me, I really, really, really enjoyed it.

52:47🔗 Adam Well, we're the same except for we yell at our collars, and I put them on hold because they remind me of something I'm PO'd about.

52:53🔗 Drew Well, I learned a lot from, I've learned a lot from my first experience here.

52:57🔗 Adam Oh, really?

52:58🔗 Drew Yeah, well, what not to do.

52:59🔗 Adam Oh, okay, sure.

53:00🔗 Drew From your end, and then, you know, Dr. Drew, has a nice, soothing, comforting, authoritative tone that I think is good, and I can't muster up that kind of professional angle, but the advice I usually give is pretty general and usually encourages a mindset which will help anyone deal with any problem. So even if you can't relate to the exact thing we're talking about, hopefully you can benefit from the general wisdom, or lack thereof.

53:25🔗 Adam Let's put some of that to you. See, that's called a flawless segue on one of our calls. And by the way, MTV2, first off, I can only imagine what they paid. We're on MTV1, and we're still paying them, actually. We owe them.

53:40🔗 Drew She had to pay to do the love line?

53:42🔗 Adam We had to pay to be on the air. Wow. And at Drew, we got a check due, actually, because they're coming up in the middle. Oh no, your dues are due. Yeah, it's the second Thursday, third Thursday of everything.

53:51🔗 Drew Your Viacom dues.

53:52🔗 Adam Yeah, so we gotta keep paying on that. And that's number two. Yeah, they don't tell you what to do because when you don't pay someone, you can't really tell them what to do. Like, I can't go down the sidewalk and just yelled some stranger.

54:05🔗 Caller Did you manage to yell Chris?

54:07🔗 Drew But if you paid them, then you could yell at them?

54:08🔗 Adam Well, Chris gets a whole $10 an hour. No, I just mean, I mean, you're saying that MTV2 gives you the freedom to do whatever you want. Oh, right. That's right.

54:16🔗 Drew Because the budget is so low, which it is, which it is, it's very humble beginnings. The budget is so low that I, how could they not let me have control?

54:23🔗 Caller How could they require anything of me?

54:24🔗 Drew Yeah, exactly.

54:24🔗 Adam That's right, that's right.

54:26🔗 Drew So that's a good side out of the lack of funds.

54:28🔗 Adam I tell engineer Chris, he'll give me a little coffee warm up. He tells me to blow myself because we're not paying him. Or if we are, it's really.

54:36🔗 Drew And you have to respect that.

54:37🔗 Adam Yeah, actually, engineer Chris gets about $2.95 over minimum wage out here in California.

54:46🔗 Drew Well, that's $2.95 more than a lot of people make.

54:50🔗 Adam That's right, except for a lot of people work more than two hours a night. That's a tough part. He spends that in gas to get it. He spends what he makes here in gas to get out here.

54:59🔗 Drew I hate to encourage Adam here, Drew, but I want to go back just for one second. Is the slogan here really slow it down? Is it really?

55:09🔗 Adam They run, well, about three weeks ago, maybe two weeks ago on the news, it was big news that the California Highway Patrol was gonna be cracking down on the speeders.

55:20🔗 Drew And any slower you'd be going in reverse, essentially, right?

55:23🔗 Adam At naps, a goddamn loop.

55:24🔗 Caller You'd vanish.

55:25🔗 Adam Yeah, and it becomes news. Step into the parallel universe. And after all the press conference, by the way, to crack down on, let everyone know. Hey, words out, yeah, you guys stuck in gridlock, we're cracking down. Look out. Yeah, you live six miles from your work. As the crow flies, it takes you an hour and 15 minutes to get to work. We're cracking down on speeders.

55:48🔗 Drew You'll watch crows flying by much faster than you. Outside your window.

55:53🔗 Adam You will have guys pass you on mountain bikes in LA.

55:56🔗 Caller There's many, many motorcycles.

55:58🔗 Adam No, no.

55:59🔗 Drew A woman with a walker will pass you.

56:01🔗 Adam Do not crap on my point. You, what are you doing, by the way, with the coffee mugs and the doors and everything?

56:07🔗 Drew Drew just opened the door and handed a mug mysteriously out.

56:09🔗 Adam You will have guys pass you on bicycles if you go on, if you go on like Ventura Boulevard or one of the main thoroughfares, Sepulveda, whatever, and you know, you just sort of, you know, you speed up, you'll pass them and then you'll stop at a signal and lock up again. You'll end up getting all the way down the road. The guy will have beat you.

56:27🔗 Drew No, they don't have to slow it down, right? They don't have to slow it down.

56:30🔗 Adam No.

56:30🔗 Drew This is for four wheel automobiles.

56:32🔗 Adam Yes, yes. The main people they're looking out for are the Jay Walkers, the graffiti artists. The people smoking on the beach. No, they're not looking for the graffiti guys.

56:40🔗 Drew They're looking out for them. Yeah, they're looking out for their best interests.

56:42🔗 Adam That's right. Robin?

56:45🔗 Caller Yes.

56:45🔗 Adam You're 25?

56:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:47🔗 Adam What's up?

56:49🔗 Caller Well, lately when I've gone to have sex with my boyfriend, his penis is like really raw and like peeling. And I don't know, like dry skin peeling. And I don't know if it's something that I should be worried about if he's just my-

57:05🔗 Caller How long has it been like that?

57:08🔗 Caller I would say off and on for the past several months.

57:12🔗 Drew And what does he say about it though? Have you asked him about it?

57:16🔗 Caller He tells me that either like when we have sex, if I've got a thong on that's rubbing him against the thong or that his latest excuse was that we were having sex and he was going in my rear basically and didn't have a lisp.

57:38🔗 Drew So more or less you're having anal sex with a thong on. That could be a problem.

57:43🔗 Adam Yeah. And by the way, the edge of a thong becomes like a squeegee.

57:54🔗 Caller All right, hold on a second.

57:57🔗 Adam Maybe his penis is molting. Is that when a snake sheds its skin?

58:02🔗 Caller Yeah. It could be in the pupa phase and heading into the adult pupa.

58:09🔗 Adam Interesting. This Robin sounds like a real good time. Now, I'm not sure what she's getting at.

58:17🔗 Caller She's worried that there's something more than just irritation there, which she should be.

58:20🔗 Drew Maybe he doesn't even know. Maybe he doesn't even know.

58:22🔗 Caller He doesn't know.

58:23🔗 Adam Right.

58:23🔗 Caller Here's the deal. I need one question with her. Do you have any irritation? Nothing? You're clean as a whistle.

58:33🔗 Adam She sounds partially like she thinks maybe he's got something or has been stepping out. The other part just sounds like just sort of general disdain, as you'd expect.

58:42🔗 Caller Well, it's gross. Are you angry at him? No.

58:48🔗 Caller It's gross.

58:48🔗 Caller Why doesn't he take care of his pants?

58:50🔗 Adam Do you think he's been cheating on you?

58:52🔗 Caller Oh, I always think that.

58:55🔗 Adam Why do you always think that?

58:57🔗 Caller Well, because he's married and with me.

59:01🔗 Adam See, Robin's got shit-old-like eyes that much. Where's your dad?

59:06🔗 Caller My dad? He's at home.

59:08🔗 Caller Why would you go for an unavailable guy?

59:09🔗 Caller Yeah, what the heck? Because when we started dating, he wasn't married. We dated for like three years off and on.

59:17🔗 Adam Oh, I was able to get married. By the way, I'd like to hang out with this guy. Who's able to pull off a marriage in actually dating someone else and married someone else? It's one thing, you know, you've been together for 11 years. Your wife travels a lot for business. You got a little something going on the side. Is there anything to be in a relationship and then marry someone two years into the relationship?

59:36🔗 Drew That's as close as you can get to polygamy, legally.

59:40🔗 Caller This guy's a prick.

59:41🔗 Caller And she's found out about us before.

59:46🔗 Adam You could always play the I got here first argument. You know what I mean? It's really, it's not like you were around.

59:53🔗 Drew The wife might not take well to that argument, though.

59:55🔗 Adam I've tried to do that with my wife where I explained to her I have to grandfather in some of the letters that I was with before you. Oh, yeah. Now, you know what I'm saying?

1:00:03🔗 Caller I'm sure she's very understanding about that.

1:00:05🔗 Adam In hockey, the guys who were in the league before the helmet rule came around didn't have to put the helmet on.

1:00:10🔗 Drew Is that true?

1:00:11🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:00:11🔗 Drew Just because they weren't used to it.

1:00:13🔗 Adam They were grandfathered in. That's great. There was always like three old guys with no helmet. What a league, by the way. Yeah. All right. So, Robin.

1:00:25🔗 Caller Robin, maybe he's Dublin. You know, he has so much activity here. He's trying to keep both relationships going. His penis never has a chance to heal.

1:00:32🔗 Drew He's just rubbed raw.

1:00:33🔗 Caller The other thing that will look like this... Burning a candle.

1:00:35🔗 Adam Both ends.

1:00:37🔗 Caller Burning, yeah.

1:00:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:39🔗 Caller In the middle, really.

1:00:41🔗 Adam Why don't you... Why don't you break up? Why don't you just go find a nice guy?

1:00:47🔗 Caller We have a kid together. Oh, holy cow.

1:00:49🔗 Caller This guy's an asshole. Listen, he's a crime criminal.

1:00:55🔗 Adam He's a piece of ass. And what's your problem, by the way? You just held bent on being the world's crampiest mom? I'm sure you're great. Well, a good mom would find a husband and a guy to help raise the son or daughter.

1:01:13🔗 Drew A good way to avoid the problem of seeing his chafing private parts would be not seeing him at all anymore. And you'd find that in life as much fun as it is to have drama and emotional tension and relationship roller coasters. You can also put that time into just raising the kid and not have to deal with him anymore.

1:01:32🔗 Caller And you do have a reason to be concerned about the on fire penis because herpes can look like that. That could be herpes.

1:01:39🔗 Drew That's true.

1:01:39🔗 Caller The fact that you have no symptoms sort of suggests perhaps.

1:01:42🔗 Caller No, and I get checked every three months because I had a leak procedure done last August. So I'm checked for everything every three months.

1:01:49🔗 Adam All right, so Robin, and by the way, what are you Nimrods using for protection so you don't get pregnant again?

1:01:54🔗 Caller I'm on the pill.

1:01:57🔗 Adam All right. All right, I'd like you a little bit more.

1:02:00🔗 Drew So maybe just wear a condom until this thing heals.

1:02:04🔗 Adam Just break it up. It's been a three-year experiment that hasn't gone well at all. How about you just find it? You're 25.

1:02:11🔗 Drew Yeah, you got your whole life in front of you.

1:02:13🔗 Adam 25, you got a kid, your mom. How about you break it off with this guy, find a nice, secure guy, I know it's going to freak you out, someone who can be intimate and treat you right and have a life, would you?

1:02:26🔗 Caller You've tried that before, yeah.

1:02:29🔗 Drew You've got to try and try and try and try and try every day for the whole life.

1:02:32🔗 Caller Not with A-Holes, Robin. With a boring guy.

1:02:34🔗 Adam I'm never going to do any better than this guy. Really? He's married. He got married after you guys were married.

1:02:41🔗 Drew I wonder if the kid, they had the kid before that, or who knows, does he have a kid with the other wife? Is that kid having a... Oh, I'm sure.

1:02:47🔗 Adam Listen, one thing I know is when A-Holes start spitting out the kids, they have them all over the place.

1:02:52🔗 Drew It's addictive, right?

1:02:52🔗 Adam They sound like old blues singers.

1:02:55🔗 Drew They get a kick out of it.

1:02:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:02:57🔗 Drew It's something to do. You know, a lot of these problems, friends that I've had or people I've known that get themselves entangled in the most bizarre, awful relationship things, at the end of the day, it's something to keep them busy. You know what I mean?

1:03:10🔗 Caller Keep them distracted from real feelings.

1:03:11🔗 Drew I guess so.

1:03:12🔗 Adam Yeah, it's great. It's like... Yeah, let's... Here's what we should do. Why don't we just take an ax to the side of the boat, let some water come rushing in, and then we can start bailing, and that way we can stay busy.

1:03:22🔗 Drew Yeah, think of the adrenaline rush.

1:03:23🔗 Adam Yeah. We can't stop, we'll die. Adam? Hello?

1:03:31🔗 Caller 23-year-old Adam.

1:03:33🔗 Adam Something's wrong with the phone. Let's talk to...

1:03:36🔗 Caller Sadie.

1:03:38🔗 Adam Sadie. Sadie? Hey, you're 21.

1:03:42🔗 Caller I just actually want to say that I love Andrew WK and he's really hot.

1:03:47🔗 Caller And I just want to know... You're welcome, man.

1:03:51🔗 Caller Yes.

1:03:51🔗 Do you like clothes that you always wear?

1:03:54🔗 Caller Yes.

1:03:54🔗 Caller Are they dirty or are they pretending to be dirty?

1:03:56🔗 Drew Oh, they're pretty dirty. Well, if they are dirty, I should or I shouldn't?

1:04:03🔗 You just go out to them.

1:04:05🔗 Drew Oh, either way. Okay. Well, maybe once you hear this, you'll second think that. But the clothes that I wear on tour, which are the clothes that you normally see me in, the white ones that I was wearing earlier today, for example, I got in the habit of not washing, which is unhygienic. And I did get skin rashes and other things like that.

1:04:23🔗 Caller Good time.

1:04:24🔗 Drew Really? From not bathing, yes. But I stayed with the non-bathing. I stayed with the not washing of the clothes. And it's a very physical concert we put on. There's a lot of sweat. I am sopping wet at the end of every show. And instead of washing those clothes or washing myself, I simply take them off, throw them into a ball in the closet, and then put them on the next day. Because much like Pavlov's dog, I have a psychological and then physiological response to putting on the wet clothes, smelling the mildew and the fungus and the bacteria. And it does help me perform better.

1:04:55🔗 Adam It keeps your edge.

1:04:56🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, it keeps my edge. And it keeps people at bay.

1:04:59🔗 Adam Hold on, can't you air dry it? I mean, how hardcore do you have to be?

1:05:03🔗 Drew Do you have to put it in a box? In the summer, for example, if we're doing outdoor shows, I will lay them out in the sun. And they can stand up on their own, actually, when they dry like that. There's so much salt from all my sweat.

1:05:15🔗 Caller Is there a critical period after which you convert?

1:05:18🔗 Drew What, actually wash them? Yeah, the complaints, because I don't want to ultimately offend my bandmates.

1:05:23🔗 Caller So when he hits 50 hobo power, when his bandmates vomit, then he's in.

1:05:28🔗 Drew After about 45, 46 concerts, I will wash them.

1:05:32🔗 Caller Andrew WK, would we be able to muscle hobo power, anything? Hobo power?

1:05:35🔗 Adam I would imagine it's a unit of stink. There's no unit of smell.

1:05:39🔗 Drew I've always said that I don't smell, the clothes do.

1:05:41🔗 Adam Right. And I'm looking at Andrew's shoes and socks right now.

1:05:47🔗 Drew They're a little dirty, too.

1:05:49🔗 Adam I'm noticing his fingernails as well.

1:05:52🔗 Drew I've been cleaning them. Say that again? Occasionally. How dare you? You cannot judge. That's a very good question. Occasionally, yes, I try to get as much mileage out of every pair as I can. Actually, despite what you might think, sweat, especially if you consume a lot of fluids, does have a way of cleaning toxins out of your body and moving your blood around. And I don't wash my hair either. And I do have some boils on my head right now. And I'm not proud of this. And despite all of this, despite all of this, I have a girlfriend, which even amazes me as I'm sitting here. So I thank you for asking me to want a date.

1:06:32🔗 Caller You keep me very, very down.

1:06:35🔗 Drew That is very good, Dr. Drew.

1:06:36🔗 Adam Yeah, cruel. All right.

1:06:38🔗 Drew Well, thank you for calling in. And I'm very glad that you like this. Please continue to support the music and all that.

1:06:44🔗 Adam Let me say this. I don't get... I got bad hygiene, too.

1:06:50🔗 Caller You have no sweat, no stink.

1:06:52🔗 Drew You have that?

1:06:53🔗 Adam No sweat.

1:06:54🔗 Caller That's what touches your clothing. It drips off your face under the ground.

1:06:57🔗 Adam No, but I will soak a shirt if I work out. And you know what I get? I get sack funk. And the sack funk on a guy is...

1:07:05🔗 Caller Cumps all.

1:07:06🔗 Adam That's really the deal breaker.

1:07:08🔗 Drew Yeah, that is bad. That is bad.

1:07:09🔗 Caller Which is weird. I mean, that's where you guys want the action.

1:07:11🔗 Drew Well, when you can smell it just when you go to the bathroom and you unzip and you can smell it from there, from that distance.

1:07:17🔗 Caller Why don't you keep it pristine? What's the harm?

1:07:19🔗 Adam I don't have any choice. It's what you call act of God.

1:07:24🔗 Andrew W.K. You have to pile on by never letting water touch it.

1:07:29🔗 Adam This is a forest fire. This isn't a bridge collapse.

1:07:31🔗 Caller And packing it from a shade talc.

1:07:34🔗 Adam I try to keep it fresh. I am able to generate funk from that area.

1:07:39🔗 Caller My point is, why not bathe twice a day?

1:07:42🔗 Adam Why not do what?

1:07:43🔗 Drew Then he'll get too dry.

1:07:45🔗 Caller Bathe? Shower twice a day?

1:07:46🔗 Drew I'm on your side.

1:07:47🔗 Caller Adam, don't do it. Stay with it. Just a paper mache casing.

1:07:52🔗 Adam I dump talc down there.

1:07:55🔗 Drew It does. It turns the talc, condenses, mixes with the oils, the bacteria, and turns into like a plaster of Paris.

1:08:01🔗 Caller I was just kidding. That's disgusting.

1:08:06🔗 Adam Andrew knows that he uses ball powder. Yeah. Now, Andrew, why your fingernails? Did you tear down a transmission today? What's going on with those fingernails?

1:08:16🔗 Drew Yeah. I don't know. When I travel, it seems that my fingernails collect more crud. What's weird is I'm trying to clean them right here at the studio on your desk here. I'm not making much headway. In the coffee. They're not getting much cleaner.

1:08:30🔗 Adam Well, here's the whole thing about the funky or black fingernails. You've got to work on a car in order to get your fingernails to look like that normally.

1:08:38🔗 Drew Yeah, I didn't work on a car.

1:08:39🔗 Adam Maybe you're just scratching your scalp or something.

1:08:41🔗 Caller Your sack.

1:08:42🔗 Drew No, that would be white. That would be white underneath my fingernails. And this is black. Oh, I just reminded me of something. I thought of the word white and it reminded me of something else. And I thought we might talk about the wet dream experience I had.

1:08:53🔗 Caller Oh, you meant to bring that up.

1:08:54🔗 Drew And I did.

1:08:55🔗 Caller We were actually holding out for Dennis and his kids, remember?

1:08:57🔗 Adam Oh.

1:08:58🔗 Drew Well, they're still here. They're not here.

1:08:59🔗 Caller They're gone.

1:08:59🔗 Adam All right, well, hold on a second. Hold on. A couple of things. First off, we got to take a break.

1:09:04🔗 Caller Explain what I just said.

1:09:05🔗 Adam Secondly, Dennis Miller, the comedian Dennis Miller, commentator Dennis Miller.

1:09:09🔗 Drew I saw him. I was transfixed.

1:09:11🔗 Adam He was out here. I'm a big fan. He was out here tonight. I'm not sure why. I think his kids are fans of the show.

1:09:18🔗 Caller His older son is a fan of the show.

1:09:21🔗 Drew What's his older son's name? Holden, right?

1:09:24🔗 Caller Holden.

1:09:24🔗 Drew That's a cool name, right?

1:09:27🔗 Adam He came out here and was here.

1:09:29🔗 Caller He had a day with his father. Went to a show, went to Universal Studios. Went to the Palms and Taubmanoff came here.

1:09:35🔗 Adam We hung out.

1:09:35🔗 Caller Wow.

1:09:35🔗 Adam Although the fortunate part is I only come here four minutes before the show begins. We hung out for a minute and a half, said hi to kids, and then they split. But they were listening to the show.

1:09:49🔗 Caller His youngest son.

1:09:50🔗 Adam He's 10.

1:09:51🔗 Caller Marlon was with him. He's 10. We were trying to not expose him to too much.

1:09:54🔗 Adam Right. So the point is, is Marlon has said hi to the Sandman about an hour ago. So we can get as filthy as we want.

1:10:03🔗 Caller And Andrew came in here with a head of steam when to talk about masturbation and wet dreams.

1:10:06🔗 Drew Right. And we told him to hold out.

1:10:08🔗 Adam Andrew has had a wet dream. So we're going to hear about that.

1:10:11🔗 Caller And if his, the history he's been describing is accurate, that should still be with him.

1:10:17🔗 Adam Yes. Yes.

1:10:19🔗 Drew It's with me.

1:10:19🔗 Caller This is.

1:10:24🔗 Drew Oh, oh, well, there's remnants. I had a, well.

1:10:27🔗 Adam All right.

1:10:28🔗 Caller Where's that vomit song? Where is it?

1:10:29🔗 Adam And you know, my sensibilities are not easily affected.

1:10:34🔗 Caller No kidding.

1:10:35🔗 Adam Andrew WK here tonight. We're going to come back. We'll hear about his wet dream after this. Hello. Drew. What are women most attracted to?

1:10:49🔗 Andrew W.K. Confident guys.

1:10:50🔗 Adam That's right. You can't buy that confidence. At least you couldn't until now.

1:10:54🔗 Caller What do we got?

1:10:54🔗 Adam You got Axe deodorant, body spray. Hey, everybody.

1:11:02🔗 Drew So, that's a good Jay-Z song here. I love this tune. What about you, Adam? Pound's way up 8-1.

1:11:11🔗 Adam Yeah. You told me how much you hated it last week, so I try not to play it. I agree with you. I like it.

1:11:23🔗 Drew Very happy to be here. Very, very, very happy to be here.

1:11:26🔗 Adam Really?

1:11:26🔗 Drew Absolutely.

1:11:27🔗 Caller Very, very, very glad to have you.

1:11:29🔗 Adam Glad to have you back. Andrew, before we left, was going to tell us about a nocturnal emission he had.

1:11:36🔗 Caller Has.

1:11:38🔗 Drew Oh, well, yeah.

1:11:38🔗 Adam Has.

1:11:41🔗 Drew Very honest. I very honestly and openly admitted that I don't follow the hygiene regimen of such cleanly guys as Dr. Drew, and now he turns it around on me and tries to mock me.

1:11:52🔗 Adam They're guys in the Taliban that have a better hygiene regimen than you do. They've got training in the desert with their inexplicable monkey mark.

1:12:00🔗 Caller By the way, why is there blood coming out of your head?

1:12:02🔗 Drew Can I say one thing? I do wash my hands a lot. I do wash my hands. I wash them every time I use the bathroom before and after, wash them before I eat food, out of respect for other people.

1:12:11🔗 Caller We picked that up with the black fingernails. What's with the blood coming out of your head?

1:12:16🔗 Drew We mentioned this before. I have a cut on my head here.

1:12:19🔗 Adam That's your trademark, isn't it?

1:12:22🔗 Drew I've had it before, yeah. It's actually really easy for me to open it up. It's some scar tissue there. And as you know, facial wounds do bleed very easily. It's a standby of wrestlers. I actually was at a backyard wrestling thing the other night. That's why I have it. It's no big deal. But anyway. The last time I was on the show, which was about a year and a half ago, I was 23 at that time, or 24, I'm 25 now. Throughout my whole life, I never had a nocturnal emission or a wet dream. Or in other words, when you uncontrollably...

1:12:52🔗 Caller Yeah, but you were sleeping with your girlfriend at 15.

1:12:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:12:55🔗 Drew So yeah, I was getting what I needed.

1:12:57🔗 Adam You were empty to empty your sack every night before you got to bed.

1:13:01🔗 Drew So my sack was not heavy.

1:13:04🔗 Adam You were empty into a condom that your girlfriend's dad gave you 10 minutes before you filled it.

1:13:11🔗 Caller I had to kill you with Jesus Christ.

1:13:13🔗 Drew This is true. This is true. So this is what we've all learned tonight, and I've exposed very openly and willingly. Now I will continue to expose you to more details of my life. And so anyway, my generation, like most now, learned about all this stuff in school. We learned about wet dreams and this and that and the other. And they presented like you're going to have one. That's how it was presented. Okay, it's normal because they so don't want you to be freaked out when it does happen that they really build up a lot of anticipation. So the years go by, you know, I'm 13, 14, 15, 16, nothing, nothing. I ended up forgetting about it. But every now and then it would come up in conversation with friends, I think all of which had had them. And I would usually say I hadn't, but I did feel weird. So I wouldn't go into it too much.

1:14:08🔗 And it was after Loveline last time.

1:14:10🔗 Drew It was a few weeks ago.

1:14:11🔗 It was fantastic.

1:14:12🔗 Adam It's great, right?

1:14:13🔗 Drew Yeah, it was phenomenal. It was a dream. It all seemed very quick. You know, I know they they say that all dreams are only take up a few seconds or minutes of time, even if they seem like hours. But this did seem quick. I mean, the dream I was filming myself having intercourse with some woman. That was about two seconds of the dream. And then before I knew it, I was awakened by the sensation of an orgasm. And this is on the tour bus, actually. Oh, that's a good time. With everybody around. So I had to carefully remove myself from my bed in the tour bus and make my way to the bathroom to clean myself up. And it was sort of in a haze for the rest of the day. Yeah, it really affected me. I talked about it with everybody and they were all very happy and proud of me. Sure. But I still felt a bit baffled as to why after all that time it would happen now. And even though I don't get to see my girlfriend all the time, I unload myself whenever need be.

1:15:09🔗 Adam Sure.

1:15:10🔗 Drew And so it wasn't like I had a lot of pent up deals or anything. Yeah, true. What's the deal?

1:15:16🔗 Adam It is interesting and maybe nobody has the answer to that. But they do seem to hit at odd times. And now I know you can do the math. If you don't have a girlfriend and you don't beat off. And for me, let's say 12 hours goes by. Something's going to come out by itself. And by the way, I just look at this God giving you a handy. That's God saying, hey, mister, guess who forgot to beat off. So I'll take care of it.

1:15:41🔗 Drew Let's give him a hand. That's a great way to look at it.

1:15:43🔗 Adam That's what he does. He moves in very mysterious ways. Okay, but, but creepy minister. God moves in mysterious and sometimes pleasurable ways.

1:15:55🔗 Drew You go and say, you know, father, the other day, something very strange happened to me when I was sleeping. Well, you know, son, God works in and moves in her mysterious ways. And that was his way of, you know, helping you.

1:16:07🔗 Caller This is your next TV show.

1:16:09🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

1:16:10🔗 Caller weird minister.

1:16:11🔗 Adam Yeah. Interprets the Bible.

1:16:13🔗 Drew You can interpret it any way you want it.

1:16:14🔗 Adam OK, so sometimes it's obvious. Other times, for one reason or another, it just seems to happen every every blue moon. Yeah, I'm probably good for a nocturnal emission. I'm probably on the you know what I got? Here's all you want in life, by the way. Here's how you know you're doing good. You want more nocturnal emissions than wet the bed.

1:16:35🔗 Caller You're doing OK.

1:16:36🔗 Adam When you when you in life, when you told me your life, when you total it up, if you got like including the diaper soaks, when you're an infant, if you got like 20. No, no, you can't.

1:16:46🔗 Caller Yeah, I think got those two.

1:16:48🔗 Drew No, no, because no, no, because you have more that every night. No, because at that point, you couldn't you couldn't admit, even if you had wanted to.

1:16:55🔗 Adam Are you high, Drew? You do that every night for three years.

1:16:57🔗 Caller You really want to count a good tally.

1:17:01🔗 Drew I respect what you're trying to do, but I think it needs to start up puberty.

1:17:03🔗 Adam Andrew knows you're an idiot. He's being kind.

1:17:05🔗 Caller No, I'm just saying accumulate the number of luck.

1:17:08🔗 Adam If you're seriously. This is Adam's serious for a second.

1:17:12🔗 Caller The reason I say that is because the average person doesn't wet the bed ever at night after.

1:17:17🔗 Adam The average person will have, A, there's that little flare up period when you think you're kind of potty trained, but you have a little mistake every once in a while.

1:17:27🔗 Caller That's pretty unusual. That's a couple of times. It's a couple of times.

1:17:30🔗 Adam I'm adding them up.

1:17:32🔗 Caller Adam, if it's. It should be in the dozens and dozens.

1:17:35🔗 Drew Are you serious?

1:17:36🔗 Caller Yeah. Before guys really get. Well, you got to go with the magic dozens and dozens.

1:17:41🔗 Adam True.

1:17:42🔗 Drew See, if he has an experience, it's normal.

1:17:44🔗 Caller Not as an adult, but as an adolescent, they should be.

1:17:47🔗 Adam No, we have dozens and dozens?

1:17:49🔗 Caller No.

1:17:50🔗 Drew So did you have dozens? No, Andrew had zero. Do you talk about yourself?

1:17:53🔗 Adam True. Now this makes me think. Here we go into the thousands. Hold on, be honest. Did you just have one?

1:17:59🔗 Caller I wasn't asleep.

1:18:00🔗 Adam Did you just have one?

1:18:01🔗 Caller That was not nocturnal.

1:18:03🔗 Adam Okay, but we got to count that as half. There was an emission and it is nighttime.

1:18:08🔗 Caller Okay, you're right.

1:18:09🔗 Adam That's true. I technically got you. No, here's-

1:18:14🔗 Caller That's why they built it up to you guys in the kids education class. It's not just gonna happen. It's gonna happen for a little while there. I was like hundreds of times, but it probably-

1:18:22🔗 Drew Dozens and dozens.

1:18:23🔗 Caller Couple of dozens.

1:18:23🔗 Adam No, this is gonna-

1:18:24🔗 Drew 24 times?

1:18:25🔗 Adam Hold on, hold on. Drew, look, he's a doctor and knows nothing. Let me ask Chris, and this may haunt me, but please, buddy, be serious.

1:18:34🔗 Caller What's the question?

1:18:36🔗 Adam First off, yeah, he's listening to John and Jeff on KALISAC right now.

1:18:40🔗 Caller First of all, a lot of them guys are about to-

1:18:43🔗 Adam Don't start, don't start backpedaling. Thanks, Andrew. All right, engineer Chris.

1:18:46🔗 Drew Yes.

1:18:47🔗 Adam How many nocturnal emissions do you think you've had-

1:18:50🔗 Drew Total.

1:18:51🔗 Caller In your life?

1:18:52🔗 Adam Total. Total.

1:18:53🔗 Caller Maybe five?

1:18:54🔗 Adam Maybe five.

1:18:55🔗 Caller I think most of them were at the 15th.

1:18:57🔗 Caller That was like freshman year.

1:19:00🔗 Drew By the way, by the fifth time, were you thinking, like, wow, I wish this would end? Or are you thinking, wow, this is really cool? I'm starting to really get into this.

1:19:08🔗 Adam His mom was wishing it would end. Had to drop an elbow on the sheet to get it off the bed.

1:19:15🔗 Drew It shatters. When your mom cleans your sheet and it shatters and dust particles, well, not dust particles, the particles of something fly off the bed, a crystallized sheet-

1:19:25🔗 Caller It's supposed to look like a windshield that's been cracked.

1:19:29🔗 Drew Like when you freeze things with dry ice.

1:19:32🔗 Adam Liquid nitrogen on the sheet. Hey, Adam. Yo. You're 23. How many nocturnal emissions would you say you've had in your life? I've only had two.

1:19:42🔗 Drew There we go. That's better.

1:19:43🔗 Adam Do you understand that, Drew? A man of exquisite passion, by the way.

1:19:47🔗 Caller Why is it such a big deal to have such a young people like that?

1:19:49🔗 Drew Because everything is a big deal. Well, Drew- The first time I almost had an orgasm, I was depressed for weeks.

1:19:55🔗 Caller Because you didn't have it, or did it freak you out?

1:19:58🔗 Drew That probably, at the moment, no, I had found a new way, you know, after much, much handiwork-

1:20:05🔗 Caller Like a toothbrush?

1:20:06🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, no. A new way, just with my hands, and it really was exciting. I took it to a new level, and just when I thought I should stop, I went for it. And a sensation almost started, and I freaked out. I stopped everything, went to bed, and I think tears welled up in my eyes because I knew at that point there was no turning back. Yet, I was still high and dry in the night, you know, the night shots for years.

1:20:28🔗 Adam Well, let's...

1:20:29🔗 Drew And apparently, I was supposed to have had like 24 by this point.

1:20:31🔗 Adam Well, as you'll learn soon, I'm sure it's wrong, but I'm assuming.

1:20:36🔗 Caller Yes?

1:20:37🔗 Adam You're 20? No, hold on, hold on. How many nocturnal emissions would you say you've had in your lifetime?

1:20:45🔗 Caller None.

1:20:46🔗 Adam None?

1:20:46🔗 Drew Oh, there we go, there we go.

1:20:48🔗 Adam All right, now hold on one second. We've got one, five, three, and zero. We're averaging about 2.16.

1:20:56🔗 Caller Maybe you're right, but I. Maybe?

1:20:58🔗 Drew From his experience and from Drew's own personal experience, 24 is the average.

1:21:02🔗 Caller No, no.

1:21:03🔗 Adam He said dozens and dozens.

1:21:04🔗 Caller Yeah, I would say it would be in the order of. Wait, dozens.

1:21:07🔗 Drew Dozens and dozens means 48, because dozens would be at least two dozen. Adam. And dozens would be another of your two dozen. Four is one.

1:21:14🔗 Caller You're forgetting he's a passionate man. No, he didn't forget that. That's the point he's trying to make.

1:21:17🔗 Adam I never discount the passion factor.

1:21:20🔗 Drew So much passion.

1:21:21🔗 Adam Yes.

1:21:22🔗 Drew All right. All right. I feel a lot better now. So thank you.

1:21:25🔗 Caller OK, I'm going to be on the web right now.

1:21:27🔗 Adam All right, get on the web. Get on the web, you idiot. You're not going to find anything on the web.

1:21:32🔗 Drew What's the authority? Do you go to your own website? That doesn't count. If you go to your own website, it doesn't count.

1:21:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:21:37🔗 Drew Dozens and dozens. Dozens would be 24. Another dozens is another 24. So he's, from what I understand, at least had 48.

1:21:45🔗 Adam Listen, he's a man of exquisite passion and extreme stupidity. I have to correct him all the time. Adam. Yeah. You're 23. Your friend gave him, oh, gave you Viagra. Right. Well, hold on a second. Holy smokes, man. Drew's on the web looking for answers. Hold on a second. Ryan over here is a big Andrew WK fan, so we'll talk to him if we don't need Drew for that. Go ahead. Lavish love and praise on Andrew WK.

1:22:13🔗 Drew Hi, Ryan.

1:22:14🔗 Andrew W.K. I actually have two questions.

1:22:16🔗 Caller The first one is, why are you so positive all the time?

1:22:19🔗 Drew I mean, it's like a breath of fresh air. Well, thank you. You know, I don't even look at it as being positive or negative or it's not that simple. I try to be thankful for having the chance to feel any one way. And like anybody, I have plenty of bad moods. In fact, when I was younger, as we've been talking about my younger years, I was quite angry and not so positive, as you put it, but nowadays I try to look at things in an honest way. And usually, even when things are not technically good or happy, if I'm honest, I usually can't find reason to be bummed out right now in my life. A lot of people can in this world, and I'm thankful that I'm not one of them. But I just try to make the best of situations and look at things in an honest way. And usually that's a good feeling. I think the truth, you know, is inherently good. You know what I mean?

1:23:06🔗 Adam So, yeah, all right, and listen, now, why not everybody be positive, be happy? And let me say this.

1:23:12🔗 Drew It's true.

1:23:13🔗 Adam You want people to hang out with you. You want people to like you. You want people to invite you to the party, to the softball game. You want people just to go, hey, well, if we're getting a group of guys together to go watch the ballgame, we should definitely call Andrew. If you want to be that guy who gets included on everything, be in a decent mood once in a while. Everyone walks around like they bit into a lemon filled with crap. And then they wonder, why is it? And these are the same a-holes, Drew, back me up. These are the same a-holes who get angry at the people for not inviting you. It's like, listen, we didn't invite you because you're an a-hole.

1:23:45🔗 Drew That's true.

1:23:46🔗 Adam You know, they get like, how dare you? These guys went here and there. They saw that move. They went to the concert. They went, they didn't even know.

1:23:54🔗 Caller That's why.

1:23:54🔗 Adam Instead of being angry at them, why don't you take a good look in the mirror?

1:23:57🔗 Caller It's the same thing as if somebody gets fired and then they start just railing on their employer.

1:24:04🔗 Adam I did the work of ten employees and I never asked for anything and I get fired. You got fired because you do the work of a small army and you never asked for anything? Yeah, that's what people do. And I love that. I love the boss's jealous excuse. Yeah, he hates it when his employees are ultra productive.

1:24:20🔗 Drew It's very easy. It's very easy to look at what you don't have and use that to get bummed out. But if you look at what you do have, it's very easy to be happy. And most people probably that are listening to this show, despite some of the callers we've had, have definitely had, you know, adversity and especially the guy that was blind, him especially. But even he had a pretty good attitude and was writing a book. So look at your situation. Think of how much worse it could be. Think of other people, whether they're in the Middle East and being blown apart by bombs or whether they're here getting their eyes blown up by meth, you know, experiments. Be glad that you have what you have and do what you can to make the best of it.

1:24:56🔗 Adam And let me just say this, too. You got to bring something to the party, otherwise you ain't going to get invited. Now, me, I'm a genius and a literal millionaire. That's why I get invited to things. I can afford to have a puss on. If you're stupid and poor, you better be nice in a good mood and friendly.

1:25:13🔗 Caller That's all big people want you like that's right.

1:25:15🔗 Adam All right. So Drew's on the computer trying to have the magic box prove him right. And by the way, what it said was, it's written by a holes like you.

1:25:26🔗 Caller Yeah, it said there's two populations of people that have many, many. They didn't say how many, but like Dr. Drew and those that have very few or none.

1:25:34🔗 Adam Wow.

1:25:35🔗 Caller And it's set that way.

1:25:36🔗 Adam You can't. It had to mention the one population was much smaller than the other ones.

1:25:40🔗 Caller I was looking for a way to figure that out, but I'll keep trying.

1:25:42🔗 Adam We'll keep going tonight. Oh, uh, engineer Anderson, we got a clue day, you and the poll, how, how did you do in the nocturnal emission department?

1:25:51🔗 Caller I'm still waiting.

1:25:52🔗 Drew See, there you go, man.

1:25:54🔗 Adam Haven't had one.

1:25:54🔗 Caller I think, I think the zero, see, to me, this suggests that guys get going with the masturbation very early now because of maybe all the sex education stuff. Right. They're trying this out. They're encouraged to do it.

1:26:05🔗 Adam True. We, we, we, we have a bunch of, we have average age 30, average number of times 1.75. We're way off your mark. Versus is 48. Let's see if we can pick the pace up.

1:26:16🔗 Caller By the way, when I was being, getting sex education in junior high school and stuff, the expectation was, that is what will happen to you. Masturbation never came up.

1:26:25🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:26:25🔗 Caller It's just gonna have emissions. That's how that's gonna come out.

1:26:28🔗 Andrew W.K. Right, right, right.

1:26:29🔗 Caller I've never beat off though, either.

1:26:31🔗 Drew Holy cow.

1:26:33🔗 Adam Listen, I can't even begin to peel that rotten onion.

1:26:35🔗 Drew Can't even fathom.

1:26:36🔗 Adam Yeah. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:26:41🔗 Caller Hello?

1:27:01🔗 Adam Andrew WK here tonight. He's got himself a show on MTV2 called Your Friend, Andrew WK, Nine O'Clock, Saturday Night, also The Wolf, name of the CD, Dr. Drew, still in the internet, trying to prove himself right about nocturnal emissions.

1:27:16🔗 Caller 20% never have one. And what's weird, according to this quote, men with higher education experience it more often.

1:27:25🔗 Adam Oh, what? Education experience, and when you're 14, everyone's in the ninth grade.

1:27:31🔗 Drew What does that even mean? People that went to kindergarten at a private school versus a...

1:27:38🔗 Caller Brian, a graduate from USC, let's see how many he's done.

1:27:42🔗 Adam Phone screener Brian, what do you got?

1:27:43🔗 Drew I don't know about dozens, but many.

1:27:46🔗 Adam Really?

1:27:46🔗 Caller What'd he say out of here?

1:27:47🔗 Drew He said many.

1:27:48🔗 Caller Many, many. Higher education, that's what I'm talking about.

1:27:50🔗 Adam Another man of passion.

1:27:51🔗 Caller Say anything about being gay, giving you more?

1:27:53🔗 Adam What do you...

1:27:54🔗 Drew Can we point out something though? Higher education has nothing to do with intelligence.

1:27:57🔗 Adam That's right, thank you, thank you.

1:27:59🔗 Drew Very important to remember.

1:28:00🔗 Adam That's right, thank you.

1:28:01🔗 Caller How dare you.

1:28:01🔗 Adam How dare you. Hey, phone screener Brian, what do you think? You think 10 or you think more like 25? 48. 25 to 40, I guess. Wow.

1:28:14🔗 Drew You know what, at that point, it's gotta become an inconvenience, right? Like, oh, not again.

1:28:19🔗 Adam I think it's just the opposite. It becomes like heroin. It's like, I can see Brian in high school. I can see him. Like, honey, it's 7.45 at night. Yeah, I'm gonna turn in. Sweetie pie, it's still light out. The streetlights haven't come on.

1:28:34🔗 Drew All day at school, you're just pining and can't wait to get home to go to bed, focusing, reading books about lucid dreaming, trying to program your body into doing it on command.

1:28:45🔗 Adam Brian walk around his pajamas at 4.30 in the afternoon.

1:28:48🔗 Drew He's in a bestiality, don't count eating turkey and drinking warm milk all day long.

1:28:52🔗 Adam Sweetie, we haven't served dinner yet. Yeah, that's all right, I'll catch breakfast.

1:28:55🔗 Caller I'm going to bed.

1:29:00🔗 Adam Brian going to bed at 7.45, getting up at 3.30 in the morning.

1:29:03🔗 Drew New sheets every day. Ready to go to work.

1:29:06🔗 Adam All right, well, there you go. And you know what that was? That is, you thought your team had a commanding lead and all of a sudden, quick steal, couple of three pointers going into halftime and pow, that 14-point commanding lead was a cut down of six points right before you had a locker room. That's what just happened there with Brian and his 45. All right.

1:29:29🔗 Caller That's what I'm talking about.

1:29:31🔗 Adam All right, but.

1:29:32🔗 Caller Higher education too.

1:29:34🔗 Adam Still, still, I would argue that, so far we've talked to six or seven guys, one of them had this.

1:29:41🔗 Caller This higher education thing is interesting because now it doesn't make any sense to ask our callers.

1:29:45🔗 Drew Oh boy, you guys are so, well thank goodness you have callers.

1:29:49🔗 Adam Let me explain the higher education thing right here. The guys that were hitting the books were not hitting the pun tag. The guys were sitting.

1:29:56🔗 Drew That's true. That's exactly how to explain it.

1:29:59🔗 Adam And the guys who do a little more reading, a little more studying, a little more stuff, a much more vivid imagination.

1:30:05🔗 Caller Is that what they said?

1:30:06🔗 Adam Stupid, my friends go to sleep, have dreams about cinder blocks. They're so goddamn stupid. These guys were on islands with all their sister's friends on pirate ships and stuff. You know what I'm saying?

1:30:18🔗 Caller Yes, more evolved.

1:30:20🔗 Adam And it had to be because, like I said, the dumb jocks were out actually dipping their wicks.

1:30:25🔗 Caller So the moral of the story here, ladies and gentlemen, read, everybody, kids, read, lots of reading. And lots of rest.

1:30:32🔗 Drew If you prefer your conscious waking state or the unconscious state, you can have the same results.

1:30:36🔗 Adam That's right, right.

1:30:37🔗 Drew Yeah, read always.

1:30:38🔗 Adam You want to get off with your eyes open, you do it Andrew's way.

1:30:43🔗 Caller Look at pictures.

1:30:44🔗 Adam Adam. What's up? You're 23. No, he means actually be on top of a 15-year-old.

1:30:49🔗 Drew With parental consent on both sides. That's right.

1:30:51🔗 Adam All right, go ahead, Adam.

1:30:54🔗 Caller Yo, well, I'm 23 and I got a Viagra from my friend. And I was wondering if it was OK for me to use it like without a prescription or if I need a prescription for that, if I have a heart attack or...

1:31:08🔗 Caller What do you mean? What do you mean if you need a prescription?

1:31:10🔗 Caller What do you mean?

1:31:10🔗 Drew You got it.

1:31:11🔗 Caller You have the medicine.

1:31:12🔗 Adam He means can he use it without falling over?

1:31:15🔗 Caller Yeah, but having a prescription is not gonna make any difference.

1:31:17🔗 Adam He's just, it's semantics, Drew.

1:31:19🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just wondering like am I gonna be OK? My heart's not gonna like explode if I didn't get myself checked out.

1:31:26🔗 Drew It's not pumping up your heart.

1:31:27🔗 Caller We don't know. The bottom line is we don't know about healthy people using it. Certainly lots of healthy people do use it and seem to be OK. But like with any medicine, you don't want to take the risk of a medication unless there's really a medical education for it.

1:31:39🔗 Adam Well, let's face it.

1:31:40🔗 Drew You're just doing it for fun, right? You're not experiencing problems that...

1:31:43🔗 Caller Oh, no, no, I don't have like erectile dysfunction or anything, man. I'm 23.

1:31:47🔗 Caller Then why take it?

1:31:48🔗 Caller Well, because, you know, I've had friends tell me that it's like amazing, I guess. I don't know.

1:31:53🔗 Adam Yeah, why have the chick popping out to it? You know what I'm saying? Why not? We're trying to move it along.

1:32:02🔗 Drew Well, why do anything if you can pop a pill?

1:32:04🔗 Adam Listen, Adam, here's the whole thing. It's fine, but you don't want to rely on it and you certainly don't want to make it the standard.

1:32:13🔗 Drew Yeah, Dumbo's magic feather, that'd be a bad thing to get it on a flag or kick.

1:32:17🔗 Adam Ooh, Dumbo's magic feather.

1:32:18🔗 Caller Yeah, it made him fly.

1:32:20🔗 Adam Oh, it did, yeah, that's right. That's right, and then you rely on it and then it just becomes the one, that becomes your erection, your orgasm, your whatever.

1:32:27🔗 Caller Next thing you know. I like that reference.

1:32:28🔗 Drew Thank you very much.

1:32:30🔗 Caller Well, like, okay, I have a 100-milligram tablet. Should I take the whole thing?

1:32:34🔗 Caller No, do not do that.

1:32:35🔗 Adam Take half of it, take half of it, send me the other half. All right, we're gonna, here's the thing. Obviously, it's not gonna kill you, but millions of people take it every day.

1:32:43🔗 Caller Apparently.

1:32:43🔗 Adam Just do not, at 23, you don't need it. When you're using stuff you don't need, it's a slippery slope.

1:32:50🔗 Caller 100 is maximum dose, don't take 100.

1:32:52🔗 Adam But anyone's paranoid enough about it, where you've been staring at it for six months, it's probably safe to take it once, you're not gonna get strung out of it. We're gonna take a break, we'll be right back.

1:33:01🔗 Drew Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

1:33:03🔗 Andrew W.K. So what's up?

1:33:07🔗 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

1:33:16🔗 Andrew W.K. 877-889-DATE.

1:33:37🔗 Adam I gotta hurry up here, because we're out of time. I'll tell you what you can do.

1:33:40🔗 Caller Website.

1:33:41🔗 Drew Yes, you can go and visit our website, www.andrewwk.com or www.awkworld.com. Or of course, you can submit questions at mtv2.com.

1:33:50🔗 Caller Or you can see him auctioneering at...

1:33:52🔗 Drew Ha ha, you told me quick, I did it quick.

1:33:55🔗 Caller I got to do a little bit now, three now, three.

1:33:56🔗 Adam All right, Andrew WK, your friend Andy WK, mtv2. And the Wolf, name and CD, I want to thank Sir Bleeds A Lot In His Sleep, phone screen of Brian for doing a great job. And by the way, he said between 25 and 45, that makes me hear like more than 500 times. Phone screen of Brian Anderson, who's never beat off a day in his life. We got to talk.

1:34:23🔗 Caller Never had any mission either.

1:34:24🔗 Adam Yeah, okay, then now my head is spinning like a drill. I want to thank engineer Chris who came in, did me proud about five times. And a special shout out to a junior, junior, junior producer, Lauren's going through a tough time. Father just passed away recently, so our thoughts and prayers are with her and producer Ann. And of course, next time, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:52🔗 Caller Hey, hey, boo-boo, take a knick basket.

1:34:57🔗 Andrew W.K. Anyway.

1:35:01🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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