Sunday, November 23, 2003

0:52🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:55🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:00🔗 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:03🔗 Adam Hey everybody, it's Loveline.

1:04🔗 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1 Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear friend, Rob Schneider. In tonight.

1:15🔗 Adam Hey, baby, it's an honor, it's an honor.

1:18🔗 Adam I saw Drew last night on Dateline, talking about Michael Jackson.

1:23🔗 Adam Yeah, what's going on with that?

1:24🔗 Drew I heard that over and over again. That was on MSNBC.

1:26🔗 Adam There's something new going on with him, I don't know what's happening.

1:28🔗 Drew Yeah, same old thing, same old thing.

1:30🔗 Adam What's up, what's up?

1:31🔗 Drew People are kind of finally going, okay, I get it.

1:34🔗 Adam Yeah, so Kobe's got to be psyched, huh? How psyched is Kobe Bryant?

1:39🔗 Adam Probably about as psyched as Pam, what's her name was when the World Trade Center went down, who's the female comedian who was accused of child molestation?

1:53🔗 Adam Oh, Paula Poundstone.

1:56🔗 Adam Yeah, probably about that psyched. Although she probably had some regret, like on one hand, I don't have to face the press with these allegations because of the mitigating circumstances. On the other hand, there's 3,000 Americans dead.

2:09🔗 Adam Oh, well.

2:10🔗 Adam I'm saying that's where the mixed feelings came in, whereas Coby, it's it's just pure bliss.

2:16🔗 Adam Are you saying what? Oh, that's good. If they can just make the court dates about the same time.

2:24🔗 Adam Oh, Rob, you do a horrible Paula Poundstone. So I just got back from Vegas.

2:32🔗 Adam Oh, you like Vegas? No, you hate Vegas.

2:34🔗 Adam No, I don't like Vegas.

2:35🔗 Adam So what were you doing there?

2:37🔗 Adam We do crank anchors from Vegas. We have to have to do the recording from Vegas.

2:42🔗 Adam But why do you have to do it in Vegas?

2:46🔗 Adam No, it's illegal to do the phone calls from Los Angeles. But guess where it is legal?

2:51🔗 Adam We can't just do it like a phone conferencing thing from Vegas. You don't have to actually go there.

2:56🔗 Drew You know, I just have to think of something, Adam. You know, your idea of everything being uniform across all states.

3:01🔗 Adam Yes.

3:01🔗 Drew Think how horrible that would be for you wanting to get away with special things.

3:05🔗 Adam No, but look at it this way. I look at it as that would all be legal in California.

3:10🔗 Adam No, you know, it's like Florida. I just you don't want to masturbate in a theater in Florida. Certain things you don't want to do.

3:15🔗 Adam We are speaking of Florida have a Germany or Florida.

3:18🔗 Drew Let's start with that.

3:19🔗 Adam Well, let's say to Rob what this is. It's a it's a new game that's sweeping the nation, which is all. We've discovered this on the Jimmy Kimmel show. I have to give them props, which is all bizarre news stories either come from Germany or Florida.

3:34🔗 Adam No, you're right.

3:35🔗 Adam You hear the news story.

3:37🔗 Adam But yes, you hear the 90 percent.

3:38🔗 Adam And then we guess Germany or Florida.

3:43🔗 Drew And we, Adam is uncanny. He's about 85 out of 86.

3:48🔗 Adam No, honestly, the crazy people in the America and crazy people came to America. The crazy people in America came out to California. The crazy people didn't have any money to go out to California, stay in Florida or went to Florida. So they get it's the ride. We figured Florida is crazy.

4:03🔗 Drew There's actually some sort of polar attraction. So there's a drift. Yeah, you know, there is some biological, some anthropological thing.

4:10🔗 Adam We don't understand all there is to know about magnetic fields and things like that.

4:15🔗 Adam But there's some crazy stuff going on in Florida. People are nuts.

4:19🔗 Adam Well, we'll find out. Oh, by the way, I saw Blue Man Saturday night.

4:23🔗 Adam Good?

4:23🔗 Adam It's good. It was weird when you talked to him. We talked to him backstage. It's weird when they start talking.

4:28🔗 Adam I gotta say, I don't like Blue Man group at all. I did a joke because I said, take the blue off, they got nothing. I did Blue Man Ass Group on Conan O'Brien, but I just painted my ass blue. I asked them if they'd come on and they wouldn't. I just thought I'm cowards for that.

4:44🔗 Adam Well, I don't know how many this obviously was the Vegas crew. Well, here's, let me say this about the Blue Man thing. I hope none of them are listening because they're all fans of the show over there. But at least to me, I don't know, they seem to be glad to see me. They got blue all over my jacket hugging me. Here's the thing, if it gets built up too big, it's no good. It's just like anything.

5:04🔗 Adam I don't like them doing car commercials and crap. You know, it's over at that point.

5:08🔗 Adam They do a car commercial?

5:09🔗 Adam No, they do anything that they get off of it. Yes.

5:12🔗 Adam I've never seen them do anything.

5:13🔗 Adam Yeah, they're on commercials and it's over. Blue Man Group, but whatever. So you're saying?

5:17🔗 Adam I'm saying that the stuff they do is interesting and has a wow factor, except for I had had Blue Man built up for too many years. I'd never seen them before. People had been talking about Blue Man for five, six years, maybe 10 years. So whenever you do that, it's like as if a movie stayed in the theater for 10 years. By the time you got around to seeing it, it can't live up to the hype. Yeah.

5:45🔗 Adam If you're an 11 to 13 year old boy, Blue Man Group is going to be great to you.

5:49🔗 Adam Oh, wait, I forgot the biggest component. That show is specifically made for people who are high. Oh, yeah, that's that's what it is. It's made for the owners. Yeah. You need to be stoned. I wasn't a mushroom.

6:05🔗 Drew That's the idea.

6:07🔗 Adam Visually, it's you know, they're splitting paint and they're blowing marshmallows.

6:12🔗 Adam Yeah. And it's all sorts of sort of rhythmic drum stuff. You're high. Lots of lasers and stuff. If you're high, it's it's great. If you're not.

6:20🔗 Drew So what do you think of the Michael Jackson thing? Oh, yeah.

6:23🔗 Adam What is there anything that's what's sad is for the news media's got to be angered. There's nothing new till January 9th. That's a long way to go to squeeze out any any new information or regurgitate the same old crap.

6:36🔗 Adam Is he is that why is that when he's arraigned or is that when what are they doing?

6:41🔗 Adam That's one of the formal charges will be made public.

6:44🔗 Drew It's going to be a long time before there's a trial.

6:48🔗 Adam But 120 pounds. So, you know, he's taking care of himself.

6:50🔗 Drew Yeah, but I said, right, it's starting to emerge what the pattern is here, right?

6:53🔗 Adam That turn. I hit the mute when you were on.

6:55🔗 Adam Honestly, I mean, I agree that there's a pattern going on, but isn't there also something that like if he's a chronic, you know, serial child molester, wouldn't have been more than one other guy coming forward?

7:04🔗 Drew Hey, I think the news guys are chewing on my ears a little bit before I actually did a little piece. Then they've got a lot of stuff.

7:11🔗 Adam I will say this. I have heard from some people in the law enforcement that they found some love letters.

7:20🔗 Drew Oh, really? You know, the thing that I'm going to boil down to whether he did it or not.

7:23🔗 Adam And if I heard it, you know it's out there.

7:24🔗 Adam Well, here's the, I mean, if you just separate, I know his problem is we're used to everything. But if you just, if you step back and get a little bit of a step back for us, he loves kids. He loves the world's kids. He loves the nation's kids. He loves all children, except for the chicks.

7:42🔗 Caller If you really think about that, just think about that.

7:46🔗 Adam Nobody loves kids more than him with the penis. The gals, they can move along. You guys go back to Biafra. I got to bang some kids in my circular bed here.

7:56🔗 Drew And then again, Adam, he's younger than, he's older than you. Let's say your buddy, your kid goes over to play at the Neverland and spends the night with your friend, your 45-year-old friend.

8:08🔗 Adam They were talking. I know they were talking.

8:10🔗 Adam That is more than a little odd.

8:12🔗 Drew If my parents spend the night with your husband.

8:14🔗 Adam They're not going to stay in the bed with me. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that.

8:17🔗 Drew They shouldn't be staying in bed with their own parents, let alone with somebody else's, some other 45-year-old unmarried guy.

8:22🔗 Adam Well, they interviewed the first cop.

8:24🔗 Adam Especially with the makeup he's got on.

8:26🔗 Adam I think it was on, imagine what that pillow looks like. Black people have enough trouble with the pillow with the hair relaxer and the Jerry Curl juice and all that kind of stuff. Black people have to wear showers, shower hats when they go to bed. Drew, did you know that? You didn't know that. I didn't know that. They have to, otherwise they ruin the pillow with the relaxer and the Jerry Curl.

8:46🔗 Adam It makes sense now that you say it, yes.

8:47🔗 Adam Right. Now, but he's not only got that, but he's got like rouge and kissing potion. So he's got the Jerry Curl, he's got the kissing potion, he's got the hair relaxer, and he's got the rouge on the pillow.

8:58🔗 Adam And he's got the soft-

8:58🔗 Drew Just a mask.

8:59🔗 Adam He's got the soft, the romantic music playing.

9:02🔗 Adam Oh my God.

9:02🔗 Caller To help the kids sleep.

9:04🔗 Adam To help them sleep.

9:05🔗 Adam But they interviewed the cop who was going to prosecute the first case 10 years ago. He said, look, we had plenty of evidence. We're planning on moving forward. And then he just settled out of court. We lost our star witness. And so we had to fold up shop.

9:20🔗 Adam And so they can't propel him to testify. They couldn't.

9:25🔗 Adam Now they can.

9:26🔗 Drew The laws have changed since then.

9:27🔗 Adam The new guy that can't.

9:28🔗 Drew Yeah. Laws have changed.

9:29🔗 Adam It's a good law in the sense that the law basically says, look, if a crime was committed, a crime was committed. You can't just go around the law and offer you some money to be quiet.

9:40🔗 Drew You get in a way in a way you're allowing a criminal to go out and do more criminal activity. You're committing.

9:45🔗 Adam Yeah. If I have a horrible temper and I stabbed Rob and Rob said, you'll be going to prison for this. And then I just got to Rob a month later and said, Rob, here's here's a little here's a little money. Let's just forget about it. And Rob said, all right, I don't want to testify anymore. Well, now you got me. Right. So they they made a law that says these kids will testify against these guys. And that's what's going to happen.

10:08🔗 Adam Well, that makes sense.

10:09🔗 Adam It does make sense. But anyway, the guy who they interviewed, the cop said they had plenty of evidence. The first time.

10:15🔗 Adam The first time.

10:15🔗 Adam They might even have more. He said they also had a thing that it alerted him when people were coming down the hall. And it wasn't an alarm system in the house. It was something specifically in the hallway that went to his room. And I thought that sick bastard. And I thought I got to get me one.

10:32🔗 Adam Well, the first kid who had brought charges against Michael Jackson, he was interviewed. This one thing like the kids, they will get things if they're lying. The cops are hip enough to know they figure it out. But he didn't make mistakes. He kept saying the same. He kept saying the same thing. The only thing he would get wrong was the dates and the times. He would get a little thrown off. But the specific things, you cannot lie as a 12-year-old. You cannot lie and they'll be able to figure it out.

10:59🔗 Adam Andy, he got the guy's genitals right. I mean, the guy has a skin, I don't know what kind of condition he has in his lower area. His genitals are a little look like, I don't know, Drew, what does his genitals look like? Do you have any idea?

11:16🔗 Drew When I examined them last week, yeah.

11:18🔗 Adam Salty, vinegary, what did it taste like?

11:21🔗 Drew Diamondback.

11:23🔗 Adam The point is, the guy has unique genitals and the guy, they took pictures and the kid said, yeah, here's what they look like. Yeah, it looks like, it's got, it's got.

11:34🔗 Adam I was also in the lineup, I was also, I volunteered to be in the genital lineup.

11:40🔗 Adam That would be nice. Just a piece of plywood with an inch and a half holes in it. And it just.

11:46🔗 Adam It's surprisingly an easy gig to get. Really? The genital lineup. An easy gig.

11:50🔗 Adam Hey, let's do a Florida or Germany. All right, so let's see if we can figure this out. Mike.

11:55🔗 Drew Mike? Hello.

11:57🔗 Hello.

11:58🔗 Drew Callers go by Mike.

11:59🔗 Hello.

12:00🔗 Drew There he is.

12:01🔗 Adam All right, give us the Florida or Germany.

12:09🔗 Drew That's no, no.

12:10🔗 Adam That's Pink singing Germany or Florida.

12:13🔗 It's so bad, it's good.

12:15🔗 Drew All right.

12:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

12:18🔗 A man in his late 30s or early 40s breaks into elderly women's house naked, robs them, rapes them, and he lives with his sister in a motel.

12:29🔗 Adam This smacks of Florida.

12:31🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

12:32🔗 Adam I don't even know if they have motels in Germany.

12:34🔗 Adam Right, they don't. It's just they have gardens in Germany that you can go rent for the night.

12:39🔗 Adam Yeah, pitch a tent, right. All right, Mike, we're gonna go Florida.

12:42🔗 Adam Florida.

12:42🔗 Yeah, it's Florida.

12:44🔗 Adam Yeah.

12:46🔗 Drew Will it work?

12:48🔗 Adam I'm thinking 25 for 26.

12:50🔗 Drew At least.

12:51🔗 Adam Thank you. David?

12:52🔗 Yes.

12:53🔗 Adam You're 25?

12:54🔗 Caller Yes.

12:55🔗 Adam What's going on, man?

12:57🔗 Caller Well, I've been married to my wife for two years now and we have, we make love quite frequently. And just a couple of weeks ago, I woke up one morning and I had ejaculated in my sleep.

13:15🔗 Drew Oh my God.

13:17🔗 Adam Wow.

13:17🔗 Caller You know, it's not that I'm not getting enough. It's not that I'm having sexual dreams.

13:25🔗 Drew Well, you probably are, A, but you might not remember them. But B, when you're sexually active, sometimes that elicits more sexual activity or your testosterone level can go up.

13:36🔗 Adam In other words, You better hope you're having a sexual dream, by the way. Because if you're dreaming about work or you're just wrestling a guy, that would be a bad sign, wouldn't it?

13:44🔗 Drew I'm not saying a bad sign, Adam, but it would be a sign.

13:47🔗 Adam Well, you're not really concerned about this, are you?

13:50🔗 Caller Well, I mean, I just, sometimes my, you know, like when I get out of bed in the morning and then my wife rolls over and she's like, honey, the bed's all wet, you know.

14:00🔗 Adam Well, are you just a little bogus sometimes?

14:04🔗 Adam David, you're 25 for Christ's sake.

14:08🔗 Caller Well, yeah.

14:09🔗 Adam Please tell me this is bogus.

14:12🔗 Caller I wish it were.

14:13🔗 Adam Brain tumor or bogus, one or the other. But what's your question? You've never heard of a wet dream?

14:19🔗 Caller Oh, no, I've heard of a wet dream.

14:20🔗 Adam Is your wife, is your penis is gonna go off at a funeral or at Thanksgiving?

14:26🔗 Adam Is your wife, is she gonna give you grief about it?

14:30🔗 Caller No, we joke back and forth about it.

14:32🔗 Drew There you go, it's fine.

14:33🔗 Adam You're all right.

14:34🔗 Adam I was talking, you know my idea of the mattress with the hole in it for your rectus.

14:40🔗 Drew Oh, well, it's too good. One idea for a drain.

14:44🔗 Adam The first thing I got is the seat gutter. That's when your keys and cell phone and chapstick and change fall outside your car seat. It all ends up in a hopper in the trunk. It's a nice collector in there. Whatever you're looking for in your car, all the change, all the junk, all the nonsense, it's all in the, all goes into the gutter system. But the second one was the bed gutter system, which is, I sleep on my belly. I mean, look at it this way. Most adult males sleep on their belly. Do they not? 60%?

15:14🔗 Drew I suspect that's true.

15:15🔗 Adam Over 50%.

15:16🔗 Drew At least all males most of the time on their belly.

15:20🔗 Adam You know what I mean? Most of the time?

15:21🔗 Drew Well, at least half the time.

15:23🔗 Adam When we go to bed at night, most males on the belly. Okay. Okay. Now, most males get an erection at some point throughout the course of the evening. Which is normal. Where does that erection go? It goes in your belly button or up your ass?

15:38🔗 Drew Yeah, of course.

15:39🔗 Adam Well, no, but it's sort of like, it's like trying to sleep with a kickstand down.

15:43🔗 Drew But that might be where the stimulation comes from for a wet dream.

15:46🔗 Adam But let me say this. What if mattresses, they started making these new ergonomically correct bicycle seats that don't have a middle. They're sort of a canal down the middle. They're sort of raised on both sides. But the center, somebody figured out we didn't need 40 pounds of pressure on the bottom of our sack for a 10 mile ride.

16:05🔗 Adam So you're saying to put a hole right in there.

16:06🔗 Adam I am saying that there could either be a hole or sort of a crevasse, you know, oval shape. Something about four or five inches wide, maybe about 18 inches long, all padded and everything.

16:18🔗 Adam Why not make it lubricated in an ash vibrator?

16:22🔗 Adam I'm getting it. You know where I'm going now. There'll be many different attachments.

16:28🔗 Caller I'm just saying it'd be nice.

16:30🔗 Adam Imagine this sensation.

16:31🔗 Adam Michael Jackson has one. It's just attached to a 12 year old boy.

16:35🔗 Adam You sleep on your belly with a full erection, but it's not pushing your ass up into the air and rolling you over. That would be a nice sensation. And by Serta, God forbid something happens in the course of the night, a calculation or let's say you got a rectipedic mattress. Yeah, a rectipedic. And if you got to take a leak, you got to take a leak, you know? And it ends up, it goes into a little drainage system and ends up in a hopper, possibly hooked into the main drain house.

17:04🔗 Adam I worked with Jerry Van Dyke one time and he says he doesn't get up in the morning and make it all the way to the toilet. He's got a bowl right by the bed. And I said, he said, the dog ever get into it? And he said, once.

17:17🔗 Drew Thank you, Jerry.

17:18🔗 Adam Thank you, Jerry.

17:18🔗 Adam I like my erectopedic bed.

17:20🔗 Drew That's very genius.

17:21🔗 Adam Now, look.

17:22🔗 Drew I'm even imagining those form fitting matches now that sort of make a form. You hang it a little deeper.

17:27🔗 Caller Because here's the thing.

17:28🔗 Adam I don't think that the three or four inch padded crevice in the bed would screw with you. I don't think that'd get in the way if you were just napping on your bed.

17:37🔗 Adam I use a pillow between the legs to give life a little room. A little room for the erection, morning erection or midnight erection.

17:44🔗 Adam So you sleep on your side.

17:45🔗 Adam Well, you know what? I also put the pillow between the legs and sometimes you know, get the one leg up kind of thing. But I'm more limber than you. I do a lot of yoga.

17:53🔗 Adam All right.

17:54🔗 Adam As does Drew.

17:55🔗 Adam I'm just saying the slot in the bed, not a horrible idea. I love it. Great idea. Picture that bike seat. All right.

18:02🔗 Drew Something to think about.

18:04🔗 Adam Niab. Hi there.

18:06🔗 Drew Look where Niab is from.

18:08🔗 Adam United Kingdom.

18:09🔗 Yeah, it's me again.

18:11🔗 Adam Oh, hi, Niab.

18:11🔗 Adam Hello, love. How's it going?

18:15🔗 Caller Not too bad, Governor.

18:17🔗 Adam Lovely jubbly.

18:19🔗 Drew Where are you?

18:20🔗 Caller About 40 miles west of the city of London.

18:24🔗 Adam Oh, lovely.

18:26🔗 Caller That's to the north of England.

18:28🔗 Adam That's to the north of England.

18:31🔗 Adam He hears us over the Internet, right?

18:33🔗 Drew That's what he said.

18:33🔗 Caller That's correct.

18:34🔗 Adam What website do you hear us on?

18:36🔗 Caller Am I allowed to mention the name?

18:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:38🔗 Adam Certainly.

18:40🔗 Caller Mojo Radio Canada.

18:43🔗 Adam Oh, sure.

18:44🔗 Drew Mojo Radio Canada. Is that Toronto?

18:47🔗 Caller Excuse me?

18:48🔗 Drew Yeah, I think it's Toronto Station.

18:50🔗 Adam That makes sense.

18:52🔗 Caller Dr. Drew, I have a question for you. Yeah. I'm a married man. So, instead of... You know how Adam's got this thing about fingerbanging?

19:02🔗 Caller No, no, no.

19:03🔗 Adam What? What is my thing about fingerbanging?

19:06🔗 Caller Well, I've heard you use that expression. It's not something that we use in this country, but if it's for the medicine...

19:11🔗 Adam You guys use fingerblast, right?

19:13🔗 Caller Oh, right. Sorry. Righto. I'm thinking, is it acceptable for a married man to indulge in eyebanging?

19:24🔗 Adam With your fingers or your penis?

19:27🔗 Caller No, no, no. Just eyes.

19:29🔗 Drew With your fingers, like poking eyeballs?

19:32🔗 Caller Just to visually gratify myself.

19:34🔗 Drew Oh, oh, oh, it's okay to look at other... The language barrier is huge with England. I know.

19:40🔗 Adam So you're talking about using petrol instead of gasoline?

19:42🔗 Caller It's somewhat different to English.

19:44🔗 Drew Listen, he's showing Pakistani again.

19:46🔗 Adam So, you want...

19:48🔗 Drew Is it okay to look at other women?

19:50🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

19:51🔗 Adam Other women what?

19:53🔗 Drew Well, here's the deal with that. Your brain is wired to make you look at other women.

19:58🔗 Adam You just have to be smart about it.

20:00🔗 Drew Exactly. You can not be obtuse. You can not be rude about it. But you can't completely stop yourself.

20:05🔗 Adam You don't, you know what...

20:08🔗 Drew Yeah, listen...

20:08🔗 Adam Being discreet is fine. I mean, even if... I'm with my lovely wife, Helena, and there's no one that I find more beautiful than her. But at the same time, I will look. And if I do and if she ever catches me looking at someone, I go, you know, she has an interesting dress. I'm thinking something that might be nice for you.

20:25🔗 Drew So, Rob is saying you lie if you get...

20:27🔗 Adam I prefer the word cover.

20:29🔗 Drew Yeah. But we realize that women think, don't realize how wired that is into your physiology. That is an absolutely fixed feature of your biology. And as your testosterone levels fall, you're 33 now, by the time you're about 50, there'll be less of an urge for this. But now it's absolutely...

20:43🔗 Adam And less of something you can do about it.

20:45🔗 Adam Yeah. And I always like it when... Here's the big lie. It's just sort of the go along with lie when they go, you don't really like that look, do you? I mean, you're not into it. You don't think she's hot. I mean, there's that like that three count. Uh, no. A little more outrage. No, she's a pig.

21:05🔗 Adam Who would want to wear something that horish?

21:08🔗 Adam Yeah, I know.

21:09🔗 Adam Expose your ass so everybody knows exactly what it looks like.

21:12🔗 Adam Your D cup, we get it. Now please cover up. Yeah, it is funny when you have to pretend to be sort of outraged.

21:20🔗 Adam But that's OK to do that because it's a lie for the right reason.

21:25🔗 Drew But listen, you actually can be a little outraged. You just can't stop yourself from looking. You know what I mean? It can be someone you're generally not attracted to.

21:32🔗 Adam The lie is good if you do this.

21:34🔗 Adam But as long as you're not into self-denial about it. Because then you're in trouble.

21:37🔗 Adam If you do this, it's like here's a good lie they'll believe. They'll go, oh yeah, no, I'm not into that. I mean, I know a lot of guys are, but that ain't my thing. Which could be the truth. Yeah, except for it's not the truth. I don't like women that work out, honey.

21:53🔗 Adam Yeah. God no.

21:55🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, I'm sure, yeah. She's just, yeah.

22:00🔗 Adam Well, you know, it's the same thing. It's like you can't deny your sexuality. And I think the more that you can be open with each other, you can tell your wife what turns you on and what you find attractive. Don't shy away from it. You might be able to come to a deeper place.

22:13🔗 Drew But I'm fascinated, though, that in England, even in London, that this would be a question in a 33-year-old's mind.

22:21🔗 Adam But it doesn't necessarily represent all of it.

22:23🔗 Caller The deal is this, gentlemen. I was standing with my colleague, and there's a chick in our office walks by, and I covered up my colleague's eyes because I had to follow Adam's fantasy rules, which means one penis per fantasy, and mine must have the starring role.

22:40🔗 Adam Oh, that's interesting. Someone really does listen to this show. I think it's okay. You can have both admire. But why can't they both look and say the girl's ass?

22:51🔗 Caller Then you would call that a strisem?

22:54🔗 Drew Have other New Englanders......a point of ejaculation. Have other British folk give us a pause. We're interested in talking to people over there. Not just Nyah, but over and over again. Some of your colleagues, as you refer to them, just put them on the line.

23:06🔗 Adam Get some of your friends to watch the show. Or that girl's ass you're looking at. Have her call.

23:10🔗 Adam Let's take a little break. We got a question for Rob. We got another Germany or Florida.

23:16🔗 Adam Huge. I love it. One for one, maybe.

23:19🔗 Adam Rob Schneider here tonight. We'll take a quick break.

23:21🔗 Adam He's not plugging anything either.

23:22🔗 Adam That's what I love about him. And we'll be, oh, by the way, tomorrow night, Good Charlotte is going to be in here plugging something and so is Blink-192 and Ron Livingston. But tonight, Rob Schneider. The decency not to plug. We'll be back. Hello.

23:44🔗 Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself. Call toll free, 1-866-344-KNOW.

24:01🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Good Charlotte in here tomorrow night. Rob Schneider in here tonight. Not plugging anything, just eating a persimmon.

24:13🔗 Adam Yeah, that's right, man.

24:14🔗 Drew Is it really a persimmon?

24:15🔗 Adam It's persimmon season, man. You gotta get in on my own.

24:17🔗 Drew You call it a cocky or something.

24:18🔗 Adam Cocky, that's what Helena, my wife, is from Brazil, and she calls it cocky.

24:23🔗 Adam But we know them as persimmons. Cocky is probably easier to say. And you know what I'm amazed by, by the way? This happens to me all the time. There's people, I guess being from Southern California, you're used to just about every fruit. I mean, I don't think there's anything I wasn't really aware of. I got a buddy from Pittsburgh, never had a plum.

24:44🔗 Drew Right, or an avocado.

24:45🔗 Adam That guy's 36 years old, never tasted a plum. Never had an avocado, don't know what a persimmon is. It's really weird, and then you get these weird conversations.

24:53🔗 Adam You gotta take him up and show him with some hookers on Santa Monica Boulevard.

24:58🔗 Drew That's what he was doing when he got this conversation.

25:01🔗 Adam It's funny where you go like, hey, what's that? You go, that's a persimmon tree. They're real good, and they go, oh, never had one. And you go, never had a persimmon. And they go, nope, never had. Really? Never? You always gotta drive it into the ground.

25:16🔗 Adam Most people are like that. Most people honestly are like that in the sense of like, when I was living in Manhattan, I go up to upstate New York and just White Plains, New York. I mean, not more than 35 minutes away. There are people in White Plains with my friend's uncle. He asked me, did you go to Manhattan every weekend? I never been there before.

25:33🔗 Drew Never been to Manhattan from White Plains?

25:34🔗 Adam From White Plains. Really?

25:35🔗 Drew It's like a 12 minute train ride.

25:37🔗 Adam Isn't that insane? But it's the same thing. Like when I was in Ireland hitchhiking around to go, hey, I was thinking about going up the Bells. This is like 20 years ago. I think about going up the Belfast. You ever been up there? I said, no, I've never been there. So you're in Galway. How could you know? It's a small island.

25:49🔗 Drew Part of the deal is the distances are perceived different. I went to college in New England, 80 miles west of Boston. Was there four years before I went to Boston?

25:58🔗 Adam Okay, I mean, so it is.

26:00🔗 Adam I also wonder too, if certain, well, obviously people get set in their ways and the dumber you are, the more routine you have and the less you can vary.

26:09🔗 Drew And the busier you are.

26:09🔗 Adam But also, no, but your life becomes like the Autotopia at Disneyland, which is, you think you're steering, but it's just a wing nut and a bolt. You do a wheel just spinning around. You're just going where you're going.

26:22🔗 Adam You can steer a little bit, but it's not gonna make a difference to where you're going.

26:29🔗 Adam Not really, but it satisfies, that you have the feeling that you're moving and that you have choice, but you're not really going anywhere. Also, I wonder sometimes too, Jimmy's this way, he's never drank a Pepsi. A Pepsi has never passed his lips. And now, if you give him a cup, like I went out to eat with him once and we were at like a Paquito Moss or something and he said, give me a Coke. And I said, yeah, we'll give you a Coke. And they give him just a regular cup with a straw. He took a sip and he spit it across the table at me. I didn't know, you know, I thought it was like, you know, cow's blood or something in there. It was Pepsi. He wouldn't let it cross his lips. We'll get into that later. But the point is, is he's never done it and he's not gonna start doing it. I've never bought a lottery ticket and I won't buy a lottery ticket now because I like saying I've never bought a lottery ticket. Maybe they're people who live 20 miles from Manhattan, who've never been to Manhattan. They sort of like the bizarre distinction of announcing to people they've never been.

27:24🔗 Adam I would say it's more fear than anything else. I just think like, hey, you don't want to go down there, nothing but trouble down there, that kind of syndrome.

27:31🔗 Adam I just like the part where I have to ask people for the fifth and sixth time when they haven't tried a plum. No, never did, never did. No, haven't, really? No, haven't tried the plum. Wow, I can't believe, how old are you? That's what starts getting insulting. I'm 37, why? You never, I just find, it's sort of, it's done with concern, but you're really belittling the persons. I just feel bad. I didn't know there was anyone over 11 who's never tried a plum. This is amazing. Have you tried prunes? Well, sure, I've tried. Well, they're in the plum family. I mean, they're dried. But persimmon, I would bet, what percentage of this country has tried a persimmon?

28:11🔗 Drew Two. I think they've had it like in- No.

28:14🔗 Adam This is two.

28:15🔗 Drew I think they've had it in things, but actually eating a persimmon is aware of-

28:18🔗 Adam Mexican-Americans, I'd say about 80.

28:21🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

28:21🔗 Drew They eat it.

28:22🔗 Adam Well, they eat anything that's on the ground, though. They're catfish. They just keep moving and eating. That's all they do.

28:30🔗 Drew You have a cactus story.

28:31🔗 Adam Yeah, I used to work with these Mexican guys installing closets out of Burbank, and these guys had, you know, one thing you get when you're poor is you pack a lunch. You do not have six, eight bucks to drop at Carl's Jr. when you're poor. And so these guys would bring a stack of tortillas and they'd bring like a big container that had been microwaved, some kind of soup or compote in there that their wife had whipped up the night before. And I was poor, but didn't pack a lunch. So I needed their charity. And this guy used to make me this hand stuff and I was eating it and we were in the truck and I was like, this is meat. What is this meat? What is this meat? It's kind of, it has a weird texture to it. And he goes, no, it's not meat. That's cactus. I said, cactus?

29:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

29:21🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah, cactus is good. I like when they do that where you're thinking to yourself, this sucks. I go, this is good.

29:27🔗 Drew This is good.

29:27🔗 Adam And you're going, no, it has no flavor.

29:30🔗 Why I asked you about it?

29:31🔗 Adam If you didn't put sugar on it, it would have no flavor.

29:33🔗 Adam He goes, and I go, now here's where it gets a little dicey. I go, wow, I didn't even, where do you buy cactus? I've never been to a store where they sell cactus. He just points. He points at the polluted Burbank Hills. And they're like behind the airport. He's like, he just points at the hills. That's where we get it. And I'm like, oh, for Christ's sake.

29:52🔗 Adam My in-laws ship some stuff out because they're moving back to Rio de Janeiro. And they ship some stuff out to my wife, Helena. And like they had these Brazilians come by, Brazilian moving company. They didn't know that existed. And they came in their deliverance.

30:04🔗 Adam Starving Brazilian students.

30:04🔗 Adam And they're eating off the trees in the back. And I said, they're eating this. And they said, what is this? Is this the berry? What kind of berry? I said, I don't know. I never ate that. I don't even know if you can eat that. They were eating it off the trees. It was just like. I don't know what it was.

30:16🔗 Adam A few hours later, they'd be stripping the bark down and making tea out of it. They live off the land, these people. Wow. Here's how you know the Mexicans will eat anything. They will eat those hot dogs wrapped in bacon that are on the modified shopping carts with the propane tanks. They're just wheeling out in front of the Staples Center. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's an iron clad stomach. Greg.

30:41🔗 Adam Hey Greg.

30:41🔗 Adam Greg.

30:42🔗 Adam Come on baby. What's up? Barely hear you. What's up man? Oh man. Avoiding a real job for about 20 years and counting.

30:57🔗 Adam How old were you your first season of SNL?

31:00🔗 Adam God, like 23, 24.

31:03🔗 Adam Wow. That is young.

31:05🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:06🔗 Adam And it's really, I mean don't you feel comedically that you're much stronger or were much stronger at 33 than you were at 23? Eventually you get too old and you hit some kind of ceiling and you just become crappy.

31:20🔗 Adam I think so, but no, you know, Orson Welles said something really interesting. He says that the artists are great in the beginning and in their 20s and in their 70s, in between they're not interesting. And he has a point I think because you don't know what you're doing right or wrong in the very beginning. It's just kind of going on instinct and fear and or whatever, a combination of both.

31:41🔗 Adam It's amazing to me when you hear about someone who's a really accomplished sketch, comedy, character, actor, performer, who's 19. It's just a weird, it's weird.

31:51🔗 Adam What do they have to live on? What experience of life do they have to get from? I don't know. I will say this, when I was a little kid out in San Francisco, I was walking down the street and I saw this guy pushing a shopping cart, talking to himself and I was thinking, how did that guy get that crazy? How did he get that crazy? And now I know. Now I know how you get that crazy. You just get that crazy eventually. And some people have more of a ceiling to it than other people. This guy, I'm sure had some other issues too. Alcohol, drugs or whatever, some chemical imbalances, but he got that crazy. And you do, you get crazy. But I think as an artist, you kind of swing back and forth and you decide how far you wanna let yourself go. And I was always fascinated with the whole idea of you don't have to be a crazy person to be an interesting artist. You don't have to let yourself be so experimental in your own life and be, you know, haphazard or whatever you wanna call it in your own life to be an interesting artist. I don't think you have to be unhappy. I was always a William Blake kind of school of, hey, you can be happy and be doing this, you know.

32:53🔗 Adam Yeah, you don't have to wear weird frames. You don't have to be a prick. You don't have to be tormented.

32:57🔗 Adam Yeah, you don't have to be tormented.

32:59🔗 Adam Yes.

32:59🔗 Adam You don't have to be a heroin addict to be interesting, you know.

33:02🔗 Adam No, I agree. And it bothers me that people think that you can't be creative and be normal.

33:08🔗 Drew And by the way, it seems to me we've just recently gone through a period of history where that is more the case that people who are real serious problems are the more interesting ones to us. I mean, there's always been a quality that, I mean, Dylan Thomas was a severe alcoholic and stuff, but in general, I think we've just gone through a period of history where we were preoccupied with people who were very, very disturbed. I think it's almost like a PT. Barnum thing. We were sort of done with the physical bizarre stuff. Now we're on to the emotional and mental bizarre stuff.

33:33🔗 Adam That's interesting because I've never wanted to be a part of any of these testings and ask you questions about comedians and artists, and I never want to be part of that. But I think, you know, to not get into it too deeply, but the fact is to allow yourself to emotionally get to a really risky place where you can look like an idiot and to be completely, you know, yeah, and to be okay with it, that comes at a price. And I think to be able to risk that and then to deal with the failure and the success of that to not let it completely throw your life off is the thing. Because the way I said the most people, the most people susceptible to the pitfalls of show business are the ones most attracted to it. But I would say follow your bliss. If you love being an artist, being an actor, being a writer, being a singer, then just go for it and don't worry about what you can make of it or how do you make it. You just follow it and do it and you'll find your way. And I didn't know anybody. I grew up in this little beach town in Pacifica, California, Blo Serum. I didn't know anybody. I just wrote jokes and found a club where I could perform it and have been plugging away for 20 odd years since.

34:32🔗 Adam I was thinking of some of the Rob said about the crazy guy and how do you get that crazy? And you get a little crazier every day, I imagine. But, and this happens to everybody. How do you get that fat? Well, you gain two ounces a day for 14 years and that's how you get that fat. Now the guy who hasn't seen you since high school sees you and says, holy Christ. But you see yourself every day. Yeah, I was just talking to a friend of mine. I just said, what'd you do this weekend? He said, I knocked out a whole bunch of cactus. It was like overgrown my house. I said, I don't know how to get so far gone. He said, well, you see it every day when you're going to work and it moves a millimeter a day. So you don't notice it until it overtakes you. But the successful people in life do notice when they put on 10 pounds as opposed to 250 pounds. And I just wonder there being a drill, maybe you can work on this. There should be drugs or something where you could objectively be reintroduced to yourself. Like once every six months. You know what I mean? They could take a look at yourself.

35:36🔗 Adam That's why you like yoga and meditation and stuff. Like any form of meditation, even just quiet in your mind for a few minutes, whatever, is a time to kind of reflect. And most people don't want to listen to that little voice in their head. I'm not talking about the big voice. It tells them to like do stupid, crazy stuff.

35:49🔗 Drew That's the instinct voice. It's the little one.

35:51🔗 Adam The little voice in this is to say, you know, deal with these issues. Most people who are, whatever problems they have, for me, it comes down to one thing, avoiding something, avoiding pain. And if you avoid the little pain, you're going to end up with the big pain. And most people don't want to deal with those little pains.

36:05🔗 Drew The big voice is about arousal and attraction. The little voice is about instinct and doing what you need to do to improve, get better.

36:12🔗 Adam And if you don't listen to that, it just gets worse. And we're in a culture and in a society.

36:16🔗 Drew Arousal.

36:17🔗 Adam That wants that big voice and then it wants to avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid.

36:23🔗 Adam Big voice, beat off. Little voice, beat off. So I'm caught, you know, what am I going to do?

36:31🔗 Drew Yeah, beat off, I guess.

36:32🔗 Adam Medium sized voice, beat off.

36:33🔗 Adam You got to compromise there between the two.

36:35🔗 Adam Yeah, I just said, that's right, dude. Keep everyone happy. Do it twice. Chris. Chris. Yes. Let's see, you and your wife are virgins. You and your wife are virgins?

36:46🔗 Caller We were virgins.

36:47🔗 Adam You were virgins.

36:48🔗 Adam How old were you when you got married?

36:49🔗 Caller We were, well, we just got married about six months ago.

36:52🔗 Drew Uh-uh.

36:54🔗 Caller She's 23 and she's 22.

36:56🔗 Adam Try to have sex, but it hurts too much.

36:58🔗 Caller Yes.

36:59🔗 Drew For who?

37:00🔗 Caller For her.

37:01🔗 Adam All right, hold on a second. He's calling from Huntington Beach. And by the way, I didn't know they allowed virgins in beach cities. I thought that had to be kept away from the shorelines.

37:09🔗 Drew I think it's sometimes they move in. They can't grow up.

37:12🔗 Adam I see.

37:12🔗 Adam What kind of virgin did she was, you know?

37:15🔗 Caller Well, virgins to actual sexual intercourse.

37:18🔗 Adam All right, all right.

37:19🔗 Drew Yeah, technical virgins.

37:20🔗 Adam Hand jobs and blow jobs she was fine with.

37:23🔗 Drew Anal sex, okay.

37:24🔗 Adam Did you grow up in Huntington Beach?

37:26🔗 Caller No, actually, I grew up in Marina Valley.

37:29🔗 Drew Yeah, see.

37:30🔗 Adam Yeah, you were moved. You were moved from the Valley.

37:32🔗 Caller Right.

37:32🔗 Adam That's the point.

37:33🔗 Drew They aren't allowed to grow up there.

37:34🔗 Adam So what's to say right now? It's painful for her?

37:36🔗 Caller Although my wife did grow up in Huntington Beach.

37:40🔗 Drew Sexual abuse.

37:41🔗 Adam All right.

37:42🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Wait a minute. Well, we got to take a break. Interesting.

37:46🔗 Adam Is there any sexual abuse?

37:48🔗 Caller No.

37:49🔗 Adam Do you have a gigantic penis?

37:53🔗 Caller I haven't really compared too much.

37:55🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second.

37:56🔗 Adam Well, that would mean no then.

37:57🔗 Drew Yes, that would mean no.

37:58🔗 Adam We'll talk to Chris in a second. He's been married for six months. He's 23 years old. He is wife and he wore both virgins. Now there's pain and it's on her side. And he's from some valley other than a beach city. And we'll take a quick break. Rob Schneider is in studio tonight. We'll finish up with Chris right after this.

38:18🔗 Adam Love Line.

38:31🔗 Adam I'm Adam Lakers, Dr. Drew, Good Charlotte in here tomorrow night. And then we got Blink 182, and Ron Livingston will be in here on Wednesday.

38:41🔗 Adam It's a good week, man. Yeah.

38:43🔗 Adam Kicked off with Rob Schneider, who's here to hang. God bless.

38:46🔗 Adam That's right, man.

38:47🔗 Adam You've got nothing to plug. But when you do have something to plug, and I guess you'll be doing Deuce Bigelow 2, right?

38:54🔗 Adam Yeah, if we can ever figure out exactly what the hell the story is. That's tough, man.

38:58🔗 Adam When you do that, then you come in and unplug that, but you can stop by any time you like.

39:02🔗 Adam Thanks. No, honestly, Helena and I were laughing so hard to listen to the show. You were talking about Vegas, and the same things why we hate Vegas is the sleeveless shirts.

39:12🔗 Drew Yeah, it's short pants.

39:13🔗 Adam There's no reason you should be wearing without sleeves.

39:16🔗 Adam Here's all I'm saying. If there's a dress code, if you have a dress code for clubs, and there's a lot of clubs where you can't go in in jeans, you can't go in in tank tops, you can't go in in shorts, why not a little dress code for the airplane? I mean, at least the club, if you got some smelly guys wearing cutoff sweats and Zorries, you just go the other side of the club.

39:36🔗 Adam You don't have to sit at the table with it. You got people taking buckets of chicken on the planes now. It's just disgusting. My wife and I are actually one of those people. Now, we actually made sandwiches on the plane coming back from Brazil. But the food just stinks and it's so cheap now on the airlines. You didn't even pass around the food, they give you the basket, you got to pass it back. It's ridiculous.

39:57🔗 Adam You know, it's funny too, on Southwest, the flight to Vegas is so short that you oftentimes don't get your drink before you land, because we got to keep the seatbelts on and everything until we get to 30,000 feet. Then the belt signs off for 10 seconds. Now the belt's got to go back on for the landing. I never did get what I was going for. Still more satisfying than them not asking you and you not getting it for some bizarre reason.

40:21🔗 Drew You still managed to give them serious about the peanuts, I'm sure.

40:24🔗 Adam No, they gave out peanuts this time.

40:25🔗 Oh, they did.

40:27🔗 Adam Yeah, once in a while.

40:28🔗 Adam They get those snacks.

40:29🔗 Adam Some post calls up and says, my kid's on the plane. He's allergic to peanuts. I don't want anyone with peanuts on the plane. My thing is then drive your goddamn kid to Los Angeles because I love peanuts. But they shut the peanuts down every once in a while. Drew, yes.

40:44🔗 Drew Yes.

40:44🔗 Adam Yes.

40:45🔗 Drew Yes. All right. Chris is a virgin. So is his wife.

40:49🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

40:49🔗 Adam And she's in pain.

40:51🔗 Adam Oh, that's right.

40:52🔗 Adam Do you spend some time with her and for play also?

40:55🔗 Caller Yes.

40:55🔗 Adam Chris, you do. You do. How much for play?

40:59🔗 Caller Usually we'll we'll have about about 15 minutes or so of for play, 30 minutes of for play.

41:06🔗 Adam Well, 15, 30 minutes.

41:07🔗 Drew Yeah, it's all good. And is the problem with the pain at the point of penetration?

41:12🔗 Caller Yeah, it's it's actually when when there's penetration, you know, we use plenty of lubrication. K-Y-T-L and all that kind of stuff. Yes.

41:22🔗 Adam She's a young girl, though. So she shouldn't need to use that.

41:25🔗 Caller Well, it's you know, it's just more for trying to trying to ease the pain as we're going in right now. But we've been trying it for for six months and six months. Yeah, it's gone down, but it's still it's still to a point that it kind of hurts her. And it's still not.

41:41🔗 Adam Have you tried getting a really drunk? Have you tried getting a really drunk? I'm just kidding.

41:46🔗 Adam I couldn't hurt.

41:47🔗 Drew What is the guy?

41:47🔗 Adam A couple of drinks.

41:48🔗 Drew She's had a pelvic exam, I assume.

41:51🔗 Caller Yes, she's had a pelvic exam.

41:53🔗 Adam What would this what the gynecologist say?

41:55🔗 Caller Um, nothing in particular. She I mean, the gynecologist that she said should say that she said that it would probably be pretty painful in the beginning, but that, you know, she should stretch out after a little after a while.

42:08🔗 Adam Does it make you feel kind of good like you're, you know? Tarzan in bed. Honestly, doesn't make you feel a little good?

42:15🔗 Caller Well, no.

42:16🔗 Adam Oh, honey, oh, you're too big. Oh, it hurts. It does make you feel a little good, right?

42:24🔗 Caller It's, no, not really.

42:25🔗 Adam It's better than Arya in, isn't it?

42:27🔗 Caller I don't like hurting my wife, you know?

42:29🔗 Adam Well, you're a nice guy, but you do tell your friends and you brag about that a little bit, right?

42:33🔗 Caller Yes.

42:34🔗 Adam A little bit. Tell me the truth. Haven't you bragged a little bit?

42:36🔗 Caller No, I do not brag.

42:37🔗 Drew No.

42:38🔗 Adam Have you mentioned it?

42:40🔗 Caller I have mentioned it to friends.

42:44🔗 Adam You're a ripper and have again.

42:46🔗 Drew Chris, did the gynecologist mention something called vaginismus?

42:49🔗 Caller No.

42:50🔗 Drew Yeah, I might want to look that up on the internet.

42:52🔗 Adam It's a black holiday.

42:53🔗 Drew It's a spasm of the...

42:54🔗 Adam It's a place in Mexico.

42:55🔗 Drew On the pelvic floor.

42:56🔗 Adam You go to Puerto Vallarta, you make a hang a left.

42:59🔗 Adam Yeah, if you go to the Straits of Vigmus, the vaginismus is right...

43:05🔗 Drew It's on the Yucatan Peninsula.

43:06🔗 Adam You get a nice hotel on the beach there.

43:09🔗 Adam Hagar has a pad out there. The party never stops.

43:14🔗 Drew It's a spasm of the muscles. It's something that can be part of a reflex. It can be part of an anxiety problem. It is something residual, occasional from sexual abuse.

43:24🔗 Adam I think that there's something emotional. And I think there's something... I think you can do something besides just foreplay because she's obviously for six months, it's got to be in her head. So I think you can actually try doing something like maybe yoga or something to loosen her up, you know, physically all over her body and not just in one area. And that's a good point.

43:44🔗 Drew And some, though, if Rob's point is well taken, but sometimes it's a spinal reflex that sets us up. There are some specific treatments for that. So look into it. She's from Germany or Florida.

43:54🔗 Adam Germany or Florida.

43:55🔗 Adam Germany or Florida, you make the call. You make the call.

44:00🔗 Adam Alcoa presents Germany or Florida. That's Pink with Drew banging on the piano.

44:12🔗 Adam, I'm the sir of religion, and you're going to be the God.

44:15🔗 Adam All righty.

44:15🔗 Drew That is scary.

44:16🔗 Adam Thank you.

44:19🔗 Germany or Florida. Two women in their sixties disarmed an intruder with a ham sandwich and a bottle of rum.

44:26🔗 Drew We heard about this one.

44:27🔗 Adam Oh, did we hear this one?

44:28🔗 Adam I'm going to go with Germany.

44:30🔗 Well, I can tell you there were some more in the store.

44:33🔗 Adam Go ahead.

44:34🔗 The two six-year-old ladies said they tried to befriend the man after he burst through their kitchen window with a sold-off shotgun.

44:41🔗 Adam Sounds like Florida now.

44:43🔗 He had a sandwich and gave him a bottle of rum and suggested he take a shower and shave so he could...

44:47🔗 Adam He got drunk and fell asleep or something.

44:49🔗 Drew Yeah.

44:50🔗 Adam Yeah. That was in Germany, wasn't it?

44:51🔗 Drew I can't remember. But I remember this one.

44:53🔗 Adam You had this one already. I think it was Germany. Germany? Florida.

45:00🔗 Adam Oh, Florida. Well, the sold-off shotgun.

45:01🔗 Adam Sold-off, no. It screwed us up because we have heard this one before. Yeah.

45:06🔗 Adam I would say Germany.

45:09🔗 Adam Right.

45:10🔗 Adam Well, you know, I like that. I think the ladies... Is this any sexual favors at all?

45:14🔗 Drew No.

45:15🔗 Adam We got ready. Screw him. You want to go five? Okay, let's do a good Germany or Florida. Jenny. Germany or Florida.

45:22🔗 Hi. So, a 65 year old woman enters a bank and when she announced she wanted to rob the bank, the tellers didn't believe her, but she fired four shots into the ceiling and she ended up making away with like $15,000. So she goes running down the street, except about a block after she starts running down the street, the police caught up with her because she was too slow because she is 65.

45:52🔗 Adam This is a tough one because it really doesn't-

45:54🔗 Adam It reeks of Florida.

45:55🔗 Drew It reeks of Florida. The junkie 65 year old.

45:58🔗 Adam But here's the whole thing about, the whole thing, it's unfair because whenever I hear booze, drugs, robbery, sawed off, I just go to Florida immediately. But then you think there's banks in Germany and surely people rob them on occasion. What do you want to go, Florida here?

46:14🔗 Adam This one I'm going to say Germany and here's why. Because in Florida she'd have her car close by.

46:20🔗 Adam Interesting. Let's go Germany.

46:23🔗 So all of you are for Germany?

46:24🔗 Drew No, I'm for Florida.

46:25🔗 Adam Drew is going to Florida. Rob and I are going to Germany.

46:28🔗 It was actually in Germany.

46:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Rob Schneider. That's why he gets the big bucks. Thanks, Jenny.

46:39🔗 Drew Good one.

46:39🔗 Adam Thanks. All right. Drew bucking the system and look where it gets him.

46:43🔗 Drew We got to take a break.

46:46🔗 Adam Yeah. Let's see.

46:47🔗 Adam I got to say, these calls are going to get safer.

46:50🔗 Adam Yeah.

46:50🔗 Drew Let's get some hard.

46:51🔗 Adam We'll get some sick ones.

46:52🔗 Adam There was a lot of sick ones the last time I was here. Brothers and sisters. It was.

46:57🔗 Adam Farm animals. It's all coming.

46:58🔗 Caller That's lovely.

46:58🔗 Adam Rob Schneider's here. We'll take a quick break.

47:02🔗 Caller Here's the deal.

47:03🔗 Looking to hook up. Call the Dateline. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person. Call the Dateline.

47:08🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:09🔗 Call the Dateline.

47:10🔗 Caller 1-877-889.

47:39🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew Rob Schneider is in studio tonight. Very enlightened Rob Schneider. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I was watching maybe the same dateline you were on last night, Drew, or the other night, or maybe it's another one of those news magazine shows. Anyway, they had a interview with the 13-year-old Hawaiian chick who got her arm bit off.

47:59🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

48:00🔗 Adam Oh, really? Who's-

48:01🔗 Drew Did you see the size of the shark that got her?

48:03🔗 Well, they assume that-

48:05🔗 Adam They think they got it. The shark, yeah. Yeah, makes sense, though.

48:10🔗 Adam How's she doing?

48:11🔗 Adam She seems- Early unfazed by the whole thing. Like there's-

48:17🔗 Adam Like she went through some orthodontistry or something.

48:19🔗 Adam Not even. Not even. And part of me thinks, wow, this is the healthiest 13-year-old in the world, and the other part thinks something's up because she ain't.

48:29🔗 Adam I just think maybe she got some, this was like a negative thing that just made her extremely, extremely popular. Maybe she's just on that buzz right now.

48:38🔗 Drew Maybe.

48:39🔗 Adam I don't know.

48:40🔗 Drew She's more neutral than that, though.

48:42🔗 Adam You think so?

48:43🔗 Adam I do know that some people have a sort of, the guy said the guy was out surfing with her. And by the way, this is a disaster. She was out there surfing with some family friends, the adult. It's like when the kids come over to play and one kid skins his knee and then the parents come to pick up. And it's like, Elaine, Carl took a little spill by the pool. Well, he's he's fine. He just we put a little back. Listen, got an arm missing.

49:09🔗 Drew She's fine. She's fine.

49:11🔗 Adam Good news and bad news. Good swell.

49:15🔗 Drew Yeah, got a couple of great two. Right.

49:17🔗 Adam Real glassy lunch is fine. It's all set to go.

49:20🔗 Adam Bad news. Daughters missing the arm. But anyway, so some crazy stuff. First off, it's always funny when they just gloss over things and news stories. Like they go, she did get some comfort from her cousin who lost a leg earlier in a surfing when it was bit off by shark early. And, you know, there's no there's no news. You know, the guy's doing the story doesn't go like, Holy mother of God damn pearl.

49:45🔗 Caller I mean, the cousin and the both of you have lost a limb and a shark. Who's next?

49:51🔗 Adam And show me the cousin or brother or sister in that family is ballsy enough to head into the water again after this. I mean, now your family has a pattern of losing limbs to wildlife.

50:03🔗 Caller I wouldn't get in a goddamn tub if I were.

50:05🔗 Adam But you know what? The whole thing is, I mean, I surf and I grew up surfing. I don't surf all the time, but you just, you just hope for the best. And the chances are it's never, never, never going to happen to you.

50:15🔗 Drew You don't surf in areas where there are sharks.

50:17🔗 Adam I surf up in Northern California, and that's where the majority of the deaths have been attributed in the last 20 years.

50:23🔗 Adam Great whites.

50:23🔗 Adam Yeah, up in the San Francisco Bay Area.

50:25🔗 Adam More great whites there than Australia, or so they say.

50:28🔗 Adam By Santa Cruz, we've had more deaths than Santa Cruz. Not, when I say more deaths, three in 20 years. But, you know, if you see seals, like the girl who was like swimming with the seals in Santa Barbara, you don't swim with the food. Then you're the slow food.

50:45🔗 Drew And then you're anything in that conversation between the girl and her cousin there. Hey, I didn't feel a thing, my arm came off. How about your leg? No, it didn't feel anything.

50:52🔗 Adam This is what I keep saying, which is why is it, Drew, shark, bull shark, takes an arm off at the shoulder at the shoulder. Less pain than me. My box spring mattress is my barefoot coming back from the bathroom. That is excruciating. The arm coming off, feel a little tight with me. I'm out of commission because I can't see arms.

51:14🔗 Adam I don't understand that. Just like it just comes off like it's like it's a frog or something. I don't understand.

51:21🔗 Adam 700,000 pounds of pressure per square inch just coming down on something.

51:25🔗 Adam Is that what that is? I can't confuse that.

51:27🔗 Adam Shark's mouth. They're made for biting them animals. Think about that really in terms of God. It's a mouth with a propulsion system. You know what I mean?

51:37🔗 Caller A shark. There's no arms.

51:39🔗 Adam It doesn't do anything.

51:41🔗 Caller There's nothing.

51:42🔗 Adam It's a big mouth.

51:43🔗 Adam It's a limb removal system with a tail.

51:46🔗 Adam With a tail and a fin on top so it doesn't roll the one side or the other. There's a couple of fins to stabilize it. It's essentially like a water rocket with a mouth on it. That's what it is. Just a big swimming mouth. The mouth opens up bigger than the circumference of the goddamn shark.

52:03🔗 Adam I'm not as amazed as people who surf and surf knowing that the sharks is the people swim where they know there's. Seals. Alligators. Oh, yeah, that's another good one. There's no waves to catch there. You just get them to go to the pool.

52:14🔗 Adam At least the shark mistakes you for something, or so we say.

52:17🔗 Adam That's what we hope.

52:18🔗 Adam People always do that, too, where they go, well, you know, the shark, this guy, the expert was saying the shark must have mistook her for a sea turtle, which is one of its favorite foods. And I thought to myself, isn't it? Isn't this the shell? You know, the trash can sized shell on the sea turtle, a little bit of a deal breaker for the shark.

52:38🔗 Drew They bite the limbs off.

52:40🔗 Adam They bite the flaps off. As a matter of fact, the one they showed was missing one of its things.

52:45🔗 Drew So that's what I'm talking about.

52:46🔗 Adam They don't go after the body. No, they don't crack it open. They go after it.

52:49🔗 Drew I imagine.

52:51🔗 Adam But here's the thing. First off, that they figure out what the shark's favorite food is. Persimmon may be up there. We don't know. And then number two, when they go, it was a mistake. The shark, like we're supposed to feel better now. Oh, he thought he was eating a turtle. Well, I would rather him know the difference. I would say like, he had it in for this fish.

53:11🔗 Adam I think they say that in the sense that because a lot of times they spit it out, whereas they would not spit out the actual food.

53:18🔗 Adam I just mean the fact that it's a random thing that the shark thinks I'm a seal is of no consolation when I got a shark sized bite out of my abdomen. I would rather the shark have a personal vendetta against this girl. Do you see what I'm saying? Because then, hey, it's Ace, it's Adam. Hey, we're cool. We got no proms here, right? I got no coral with you. All right, so anyway, her and her cousin both got a limb hold on.

53:43🔗 Adam But Hawaii, I wouldn't think has a lot of sharks. I guess she was surfing in Hawaii, right?

53:47🔗 Adam I don't know. She wasn't on one of the big islands, but.

53:50🔗 Drew She was where they'd seen a shark many times.

53:53🔗 Adam Yeah, and then they went out and got it. And by the way, I like when they just go out and get it. They go, well, the shark's swimming dangerously close to surfers for last six months. It bites the arm off. I'll go out and get it now. They just go out and get it. Yeah, they do it, too. It's it's anyone has seen Jaws is horribly disappointed when they just put it. They don't take a rope and put a rump roast and a grappling hook on it. They just go out and fish it and the shark gets tired. They just drag it in with a boat that's smaller than the sharks. No big problem. Then they just hang it up and they take pictures.

54:24🔗 Adam That is disappointing.

54:26🔗 Adam Let's talk to Pauline, who's 17. Pauline. What's up?

54:33🔗 I have a question for Dr. Drew.

54:35🔗 Drew Yeah.

54:36🔗 I recall him saying that like most, if not all fetishes come from some kind of trauma. Yeah. And my boyfriend has a foot fetish.

54:45🔗 Drew Oh.

54:46🔗 And he was-

54:46🔗 Adam Well, that may be the exception.

54:49🔗 Drew Well, no. It may be that it's a small T trauma. In other words, it doesn't have to be the real feeling of helplessness and the fear of not being able to go on being. Fear of destruction at the hands of people you're relying upon, like being hit with something that your dad picks up. But the foot fetish thing is rather common.

55:07🔗 Adam Hey, you might be attracted to feet.

55:09🔗 Drew Well, and it has, no one really knows for sure. There's lots of little theories about it, but it clearly has something to do with overwhelming feelings in relation to mom. And it's a way of focusing those feelings away from something that's more overwhelming.

55:21🔗 Yeah, his mother ignored him.

55:24🔗 Drew Yeah, and so it's a longing feeling sometimes for guys.

55:27🔗 Adam I wish I was into feet.

55:29🔗 Drew I really do.

55:30🔗 Adam Yeah, I just look at them as stands for the boobs. I don't get any further than that. I don't look down.

55:35🔗 Adam No, there's some ugly feet out there. Cute feet I don't mind getting into. I used to sell lady shoes. Oh, you did? Yeah, and I massage my wife's feet.

55:42🔗 Adam Oh, you do? So you're a guy who you wouldn't say you have a fetish, but you appreciate.

55:47🔗 Adam I appreciate a nice looking foot.

55:48🔗 Drew You know what's interesting?

55:49🔗 Adam I like that.

55:50🔗 Drew Napoleon's sister was named Pauline and she had a famous foot.

55:55🔗 Adam Really?

55:55🔗 Drew Yeah, she was famous.

55:56🔗 Adam One foot was famous?

55:58🔗 Drew She had a happy, they'd have, reporters would gather every day to watch her wash her feet.

56:03🔗 Adam Really? They said a good looking foot. I've heard that too. Wow. Isn't that weird?

56:07🔗 Drew That is a coincidence.

56:08🔗 Adam They didn't have a lot going on back then.

56:10🔗 Drew They're not related to Napoleon. They didn't have Tevo. Yeah. But they had the terror, you know, they killed a few, they had the guillotine and all. It was good times back then. But listen, Pauline, it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but if guys get carried away with their fetishes, it tends to take things away from the intimacy.

56:27🔗 Adam Is it a problem for you?

56:28🔗 Oh no, it's no problem. It was a problem for him to admit it. And he sounded like he was traumatized.

56:34🔗 Adam What does he do?

56:35🔗 Like, well, I thought he was raped the first time he was trying to kill me.

56:38🔗 Adam But what does he do? What does he do with your feet?

56:41🔗 He tickles them or he licks them or he ties me up and he just plays with them for half an hour.

56:47🔗 Drew Two things, two things. Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.

56:49🔗 Adam Skipped over something there.

56:50🔗 Drew Two things. Two things, fetishes, true fetish is always guys, mostly guys have fetishes, are ashamed and sort of embarrassed about them. And two, I think you've opened a box here, a Pandora's box, that more is to be revealed. It will not just stop with the feet, I think.

57:06🔗 Adam I think you're right. I think he's tying you up as just.

57:08🔗 Drew It's getting good.

57:09🔗 Adam How are we concentrating on the tying you up? Is that your idea or his idea?

57:13🔗 Adam His idea.

57:15🔗 Drew Don't get too, don't keep going with that. Just contain it a little bit.

57:20🔗 Adam You play safe.

57:21🔗 Drew Just don't, whatever's coming next, just stop it right here.

57:24🔗 Adam Yeah, he may spin out with this. How old is he?

57:28🔗 He's gonna be 18. We're both gonna be 18.

57:31🔗 Adam Okay.

57:32🔗 Adam I worry too and I wonder.

57:34🔗 Adam Any 18 year old who just isn't happy just banging you and he's just, he, you mean to have to tie you up.

57:39🔗 Drew It's a concern.

57:40🔗 Adam It's a little, I would say it's a little more advanced than a normal 18 year old who'd just be happy getting in your pants if you don't mind me saying that.

57:47🔗 Drew Rob Schneider's in.

57:47🔗 Adam Yeah, no, but I wonder, you see, I wonder if we're going by, we're all relatively the same age and we didn't have access to.

57:57🔗 Drew Weird stuff.

57:58🔗 Adam Never thought about it. Weird stuff. Well, if I was 18 years old and I was lucky enough to be having sex with somebody, that was it. That's all I needed. I didn't need anything more than that.

58:04🔗 Drew Right, but you didn't, there wasn't even porn in those days.

58:06🔗 Adam But what if, what if you'd been watching hardcore stuff on the internet since you were 13 and now you're 18? Do you know what I'm saying?

58:15🔗 Drew What would it have done to your wiring?

58:17🔗 Adam Maybe the bar's been raised a little bit.

58:19🔗 Adam Maybe a little bit, but I've still just been just as happy, you know, than any attention to that area.

58:23🔗 Adam I assume I would feel the same way, but if you had, what if you had a couple friends that had a threesome, for instance?

58:29🔗 Drew By the time they were 18.

58:31🔗 Adam And you'd seen everything there is to see by the age of 13 or 14 on the internet, now you're 18. You're probably feeling, I mean, here's the way I look at it. When you turn on the TV, you watch these McDonald's High School All-Star Games. These guys are jamming now. You've got 16-year-olds taking off from the free throw line and doing monster jams. Kind of stuff that you never saw. I mean, back in the day, guys weren't PF Flyers. They got shiny shorts with belts on them. And one guy's foot got a half inch off the ground when he did a shot once and everyone went crazy. Now guys are just launching themselves from half court and jamming the ball. You wonder, these are the same people who need the threesome. I mean, they're not where we were at when we were that age.

59:16🔗 Adam Well, I would say, though, for me, for somebody to be that into porn, like you're saying, I would say still there's another issue. Just like there's another issue probably here.

59:23🔗 Drew Yes.

59:24🔗 Adam To get that much into porn at 13 to 13 to 18, there's something else going on in their life that's driving them to that.

59:30🔗 Drew Yes. Yep.

59:31🔗 Adam What that is, I don't know.

59:32🔗 Drew Well, Adam refuses to accept that, by the way.

59:34🔗 Adam No, no, I would say, though, I would argue that it would be once the hormones kick on for a guy, if you have access, it's almost like candy for kids, almost. You have almost an unlimited capacity to take this in. I mean, Drew, when you were 14, 15 years old, there was a magic box.

59:54🔗 Adam I would say that you're right, but I would still say that's the exception, and the majority of people, there's something else pushing them to do that.

1:00:00🔗 Drew I think Rob has got a point. He does. That if you need to be hypersexual.

1:00:04🔗 Adam It's a horrible point, but it's still Rob's point.

1:00:07🔗 Drew But the level of deficiency that might drive someone to that kind of pornographic preoccupation may be pretty common.

1:00:14🔗 Adam Well, and here's the other thing too. It's like, it's the argument of, well, this guy's watching Grand Theft Auto. He's playing Grand Theft Auto, so he goes out and kills. Most people, most 14-year-old boys will play Grand Theft Auto for five hours a day and not have any compulsion to go out and carjack somebody.

1:00:32🔗 Adam I mean, we didn't have porn on the internet when I was a kid. We had a big box of Penthouse and Playboys that my dad had that we found.

1:00:39🔗 Drew Oh, we found.

1:00:40🔗 Adam Where were they?

1:00:41🔗 Adam Yeah, they were just in a box underneath the stairs.

1:00:43🔗 Adam Did they smell weird?

1:00:46🔗 Adam No, they didn't. But there was a real large collection, very interesting, before the shaved bush area.

1:00:52🔗 Adam People forget that porn had a smell.

1:00:54🔗 Caller That had an effect on me.

1:00:55🔗 Adam Porn used to smell like something. Like you'd find a box, it was sort of dank. Mildew. Dank meets the crank. It was like, yeah, a little mildewy. Because people used to have to stash it in places that weren't exactly what the humidor is to the cigar.

1:01:12🔗 Adam But we didn't have as much of that. When San Francisco, Northern California, they didn't have that heat. It was cool. So the magazines were a state of mind.

1:01:18🔗 Drew But the lack of grooming affected Rob. Traumatism.

1:01:20🔗 Adam Yes.

1:01:21🔗 Adam Yeah, it did.

1:01:22🔗 Adam Yes, I need to have a gigantic pubic bush, as I call it. Or the extra pad.

1:01:28🔗 Adam It is true that you're just sort of into whatever you were into. And it's earlier too. Now I'm thinking about it.

1:01:36🔗 Adam It does set the tone. Yeah, absolutely.

1:01:38🔗 Adam Well, let's just we'll go back to calls in one second, but let's try to figure this out for one second. Just get to the bottom here, which is. You would assume that you would be into the women that you were looking at when you were. Let's say I opened a Playboy at 14 years old, let's just say.

1:01:54🔗 Drew And something lasers into your head.

1:01:56🔗 Adam Somehow something lasers into my head. And that maybe.

1:01:59🔗 Adam But I think it's more more than just a visual thing for the guy. I think it's also the experience.

1:02:04🔗 Adam Sure. Whatever whatever it is, some some something gets locked in into that time in 1978 or whatever.

1:02:11🔗 Adam It is a pattern that guys can get into in that way. Guys work visually.

1:02:15🔗 Adam Let me say this. I was looking at a Herb Albert record cover today and it was a super hot 60s chick like late 60s, 68, 69. You know, when they all had that sort of big hair and too much eye. Yeah. But they were high. They were sort of dark and big cans and stuff.

1:02:32🔗 Adam That's my girl and I also didn't work out just very shapely.

1:02:35🔗 Adam Yeah, shapely. And I realize it's not when I was 14 that I'm into. I'll go back to when I was five. You see what I'm saying? And I wonder if you're if that's the time.

1:02:46🔗 Drew Oh, absolutely.

1:02:47🔗 Adam But it wasn't sexual. It was just purely a visual stimulation.

1:02:51🔗 Drew It gets honed at 14. That's when it gets focused.

1:02:54🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:02:55🔗 Drew Come to me.

1:02:55🔗 Adam It's what access are you guys?

1:02:57🔗 Adam Here's what I want to know. No one has access to the five for me. If you break it down, I like the five. I'm into what I was into at five. Visually. Not not 10 years later. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why, by the way, that when I see the bleached pubes and the fake boobs and the and the dragon tats all over the back and stuff and the genital piercings, it doesn't. It's not not for me.

1:03:24🔗 Adam It's an oddity.

1:03:25🔗 Adam I got to go back.

1:03:25🔗 Adam Yeah, it's an oddity that is it may be attractive, but not in a way that you are attractive.

1:03:30🔗 Adam Sexually doesn't speak to the five year old ace.

1:03:35🔗 Drew Monica, the way the child at the breast does.

1:03:37🔗 Adam Right. You're 14. What's up?

1:03:40🔗 Caller I had a question for Rob.

1:03:43🔗 Adam OK, we're going to help you with.

1:03:45🔗 Oh, are going to come out with a new movie?

1:03:49🔗 Adam Um, yeah, those next movies with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, believe it or not, I'm working with Adam Sandler again and 51st Dates, February 13th.

1:03:58🔗 Drew Is that what you went to Hawaii for?

1:03:59🔗 Yeah.

1:04:00🔗 Adam And that was I play a fat Hawaiian. It's a lot of fun.

1:04:03🔗 Adam Is he? He's teaming and I'll see what he oh, he did the wedding singer with Drew Barrymore. Did he do another movie through Barrymore?

1:04:10🔗 Adam This is the one. And this is this is his best film. It's really, really good learning in Hawaii. I'd be you know, Hawaii was like my summer place. My my my my parents would take me to Hawaii and then let me go. Oh, my God. Do whatever 13, 14. And then like and so I was hanging out with Hawaiians, you know, mugged by Hawaiians, surfing the Hawaiians getting. I mean, I used to like I was out surfing in the water and I didn't know how to surf and I had like this 12 foot board and I literally would like jettison the board in the direction where I'd fall off. It was like a missile. And it was Hawaiian guy picking me. Don't be you know, you can you take off my head with that. But what are you doing that? You know, and and he this guy lifted me out of the water and I just, you know, but so that was kind of my childhood. So I wanted to make sure and be respectful to the Hawaiians when I went back out.

1:04:55🔗 Adam Yeah, the Hawaiians are sort of I look at this as the sort of Hawaiians like this country sort of petting zoo, like some sort of indigenous animal that lives over there that is sort of part human, but also part manatee.

1:05:08🔗 Adam Let me tell you, the real Hawaiians are the ones that look Mexican. Actually, the real real Hawaiians, they look Mexican.

1:05:13🔗 Adam With huge calves. I tell you, I got a book, Drew, you know my book, my book idea, my children's book idea?

1:05:19🔗 Drew No.

1:05:20🔗 Adam All right. It's called Kimo Skinny Calves. It's about a Hawaiian guy, Hawaiian kid.

1:05:26🔗 Drew This is like the ugly duckling story.

1:05:28🔗 Adam He has skinny calves.

1:05:29🔗 Drew When he's a boy, as a kid.

1:05:30🔗 Adam Skinny calves. Everyone else in this village are these huge Samoan guys.

1:05:34🔗 Drew They make fun of him.

1:05:35🔗 Adam Massive calves, but he has very skinny calves and he's made fun of, he's ridiculed by the townspeople and by the village people.

1:05:43🔗 Drew This really gets the red nose.

1:05:44🔗 Adam Spanish.

1:05:45🔗 Adam It could be a 17th century thing. You know, in the 17th century, it was all about the calves. Every now is a muscular chest. Back in the 17th century, it was all about the calves.

1:05:53🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:05:53🔗 Adam That's why they had those socks and the knee pants that went to the knee and tight. And the people were showing off their calves if you look at the old photographs, the old paintings. Yeah.

1:06:03🔗 Adam And you know, it's funny too, is the guys would wear heels, which makes the calf sort of nice, better shape too.

1:06:10🔗 Adam It was all about the calves back then.

1:06:11🔗 Adam What the hell's going on in this society?

1:06:14🔗 Drew But what happens to Kemo? I want to know what happens.

1:06:15🔗 Adam Well, here's what happens. Kemo's...

1:06:17🔗 Drew One rainy day.

1:06:18🔗 Adam He's run out of town.

1:06:19🔗 Drew Foggy day.

1:06:19🔗 Adam Because he has these skinny calves. They want to let him play, the sports and the whole thing. And he's banished. And then one day, the keys to the city fall through a sewer grate and nobody's arms are long enough to reach down and get them. But chemo skinny calves, legs are skinny enough to get down and grab it with the toes. It saved the city.

1:06:39🔗 Drew They basically just made a movie about that.

1:06:41🔗 Adam It's called Whale Rider. I heard that some guys get calf implants.

1:06:45🔗 Drew Yes.

1:06:45🔗 Adam I can't imagine that. What the thinking is behind that.

1:06:49🔗 Adam Well, you probably have nice looking calves.

1:06:52🔗 Drew No, he doesn't.

1:06:54🔗 Adam You know, you'd be surprised. They're all right.

1:06:56🔗 Adam They're all right.

1:06:56🔗 Drew I just can't wait until anthropologists dig up the 20th century and 21st century man and go, these sacks were buried with them. The women had them on their chest. The man had them on their chest and their calves. Some burial ritual, obviously. Never would they imagine they were put in it during life.

1:07:12🔗 Adam I see the calf implants.

1:07:14🔗 Drew I'd go for that.

1:07:15🔗 Adam I could see myself doing that. If you have skinny. Here's the thing about calves. It's unfair. All the running, all the weightlifting, all the whatever in the world.

1:07:24🔗 Adam Schwarzenegger supposedly worked out his calves somehow.

1:07:27🔗 Adam Yeah, it's called steroids. You can check them straight in those calves.

1:07:32🔗 True. Maybe. All right.

1:07:33🔗 Adam Well, no, here's the thing. You can do things to help, sort of like having a double chin or something, but you're never going to look as good as a guy who's got a nice set, right?

1:07:44🔗 Caller Right.

1:07:44🔗 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break. Rob Schneider is here tonight. We'll be right back after this.

1:07:51🔗 Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline is brought to you by Trojan, America's most trusted condom for over 80 years.

1:08:11🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider's our guest tonight. Oh, just knowing that Thanksgiving is coming up makes me happy. It really does.

1:08:23🔗 Adam Except I'm at the end of my fat pants right now. Yeah, I can't get any bigger.

1:08:27🔗 Adam I started, you know, it was funny. I woke up this morning, I said, I'm gonna be, I'll diet until Thanksgiving so I can really cut loose. Then it lasted till about noon and then I had the special over at the Good Neighbors restaurant.

1:08:43🔗 Adam No, unless I'm working on something, working on, I just have no, I just don't have the discipline. I just, I gotta get it. Not, and like, you know, if you're going movie to movie, that's fine, but like right now, I just haven't been working a lot this year. You doing TV or anything? Just depressing. No, I'm just, I'm writing a couple things. Just eating and getting fat. I don't know. I don't wanna be on too, you know, you get too familiar, people hate you. You know, you know what that's like, right Adam?

1:09:09🔗 Adam Yeah. Say it before you. I can't tell. I don't know if I'm being punished or I'm having more career than I should. I can't figure it out.

1:09:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:09:20🔗 Adam And by the way.

1:09:20🔗 Adam Just write it out and enjoy it.

1:09:21🔗 Adam Speaking of career, if David Alan Greer is listening or anyone who knows David Alan Greer is listening, tell him I got his glasses.

1:09:30🔗 Drew Oh, is he with you?

1:09:30🔗 Adam He left his glasses in Vegas.

1:09:32🔗 Drew When's he coming on this show?

1:09:33🔗 Adam He says he's too good for the show now.

1:09:35🔗 Drew I know that.

1:09:36🔗 Adam He's the sweetheart of a guy.

1:09:37🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. He is, he's a weirdo, but he's a great guy.

1:09:40🔗 Adam He kind of has to be though, doesn't he have to be a nice guy?

1:09:43🔗 Adam I don't know.

1:09:45🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:09:46🔗 Adam He's a, he's a, he's a crank.

1:09:48🔗 Drew Just because of McHale's Navy?

1:09:49🔗 Adam His crank ganger stuff was amazing.

1:09:51🔗 Adam Really?

1:09:51🔗 Adam Yeah, and he's amazing. David Alan, here's the thing about David Alan Greer. You, you who know David Alan Greer from McHale's Navy and other movies and from TV.

1:10:02🔗 Adam Nobody knows him from McHale's Navy.

1:10:03🔗 Adam All right, but here's the thing. You don't know the real depths of his talent, which is he's he's he he did a whole bunch of phone calls as a Landainlius, let's see, Trufeld, the truth. He's a washed up black athlete who thinks everyone should know who he is and burst into raps and is really exquisitely talented. But, you know, if you watch Life With Bonnie, you know, you don't see that you see the ABC sort of corporate version of the guy.

1:10:32🔗 Adam It's nice to know he's a closet twisted genius. Oh, yeah, he is.

1:10:35🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, more f-ed up than you didn't you know, too.

1:10:38🔗 Adam You gotta be.

1:10:38🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:10:39🔗 Adam A little bit.

1:10:39🔗 Drew But that is very loose on the show once after that.

1:10:43🔗 Adam Yeah, he did go a little nutty on the show.

1:10:45🔗 Adam There's not a lot of platforms for people to really, you know, to get weird. Unless, you know, he's the star of his own show.

1:10:51🔗 Adam Then he's going to maybe even even then, the kind of stuff that he's doing wouldn't work on network or even even basic cable. Oh, not the stuff. Very sick, very demented stuff.

1:11:04🔗 Drew Don't look at my stuff.

1:11:05🔗 Adam But we had, we have is, I have your glasses, David. So send your assistant by Amber.

1:11:12🔗 Caller Yes.

1:11:13🔗 Adam You're 21.

1:11:14🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

1:11:14🔗 Adam I like it so far. Go ahead.

1:11:16🔗 Caller Okay.

1:11:16🔗 My question is, is nine months ago, I had a baby.

1:11:19🔗 Adam And perfect.

1:11:22🔗 It was perfect. But I have had absolutely no, no desire to have sex at all.

1:11:30🔗 Adam Are you married?

1:11:33🔗 Drew Nine years?

1:11:34🔗 Adam Nine years.

1:11:34🔗 Drew Since you were 12? How old is he?

1:11:36🔗 Adam Wow. He's 29. 29.

1:11:38🔗 Drew 24. All right, well here's the deal. It is very, very common for there to be a marked drop in your sex drive in the first, up to a year after pregnancy, after delivery. One of the things you have to watch for is depression, the postpartum depression that can be part of the drop in libido.

1:11:53🔗 Adam Ask her, is she on any antidepressants?

1:11:55🔗 No.

1:11:56🔗 Drew But, and you're not feeling depressed?

1:11:58🔗 No, not, not really.

1:12:00🔗 Drew Are you breastfeeding?

1:12:01🔗 No, I stopped it four months.

1:12:03🔗 Adam Can I ask you a question? Have you, what, how much weight did you gain while you were pregnant?

1:12:10🔗 I gained 65 pounds.

1:12:11🔗 Adam And how much did you lose?

1:12:13🔗 I lost 50.

1:12:14🔗 Adam Oh, so you're pretty much back to normal.

1:12:16🔗 Yeah, 15 pounds.

1:12:17🔗 Drew You feel okay about yourself?

1:12:19🔗 Adam So it's not a self-esteem thing?

1:12:21🔗 Yes.

1:12:22🔗 Drew Like a raisin.

1:12:22🔗 Adam Do you feel attractive?

1:12:24🔗 No.

1:12:25🔗 Adam There you go.

1:12:25🔗 Drew Is that part of it?

1:12:26🔗 I think so. I don't know, but when I have sex, it doesn't feel very nice.

1:12:31🔗 Drew Yeah, there are many things that come to bear. One is the stress of being a mother. The other is your feelings about your body, your sexuality and stuff. But not enough is made about how exquisitely sensitive women's body are to their biology. And there are profound biological changes after a pregnancy. And sometimes something as simple as going on the birth control pill will sort of restore your biology. So you might talk to your doctor about that.

1:12:52🔗 Adam You just had a bowling ball come out of your vagina nine months ago. No, it's gonna throw you. And you're also a young woman. So give yourself a little bit of break. But also, you know, do you have you guys tried to go on a romantic weekend at all and get a babysitter?

1:13:08🔗 No.

1:13:09🔗 Adam Well, there you go. Why don't you try doing that and have your boyfriend kind of work with you on this. Have you talked to him about this?

1:13:16🔗 Well, we don't really talk about it because I feel bad.

1:13:19🔗 Drew And it's okay.

1:13:22🔗 Adam You gotta communicate this.

1:13:23🔗 Adam Something's up though. She's calling from Utah. They've been together for nine years. But we're not from Utah. Worse.

1:13:30🔗 We're from Seattle.

1:13:32🔗 Adam Nevada is, it's Florida for people who can't make the flight. Here's the thing though. Why aren't you guys married?

1:13:42🔗 Caller He says that he never wants to get married to anyone.

1:13:45🔗 Drew Why?

1:13:45🔗 Adam And you've somehow bought into that and that's part of your self esteem problem.

1:13:49🔗 Adam You're cool with that?

1:13:51🔗 Caller I'm okay with it. We love each other.

1:13:55🔗 Adam No, she's just learned to tolerate it because she feels like it's that or nothing and she doesn't feel like she's good enough.

1:14:01🔗 Adam To self esteem.

1:14:02🔗 Adam To assert herself.

1:14:03🔗 Drew Listen, when you have a child, you're very vulnerable and you're relying on a partner to stay with you and he won't form any sort of commitment or alliance with you.

1:14:10🔗 Adam That's very, very challenging.

1:14:12🔗 Adam Are there other things that he gets away with? Does he travel without you for long periods of time?

1:14:18🔗 Drew No, not at all. He does have sex with other women though? No, he doesn't. No, I beg your pardon.

1:14:24🔗 Adam Do you guys live together? Do you live together? All right.

1:14:27🔗 Adam Okay. What's he do for a living?

1:14:29🔗 Caller We both work at a convenience store.

1:14:32🔗 Adam All right. So it is like as far as travel goes, it's, you know, the moped only has a 87 mile range, maximum range, so it's not going anywhere.

1:14:40🔗 Adam All right, so the weekend alone, the two of you is probably not coming up anytime soon. But you guys talk to him about this. You don't have to just have a weekend go somewhere. You can have somebody, you have, you have your mom lives with you or lives close by? Well, how can anybody feel sexy with mom 18 feet away?

1:15:03🔗 Drew I know.

1:15:04🔗 Adam Okay, so give yourself a break.

1:15:05🔗 Drew There is all that, but you got to remember too, the placenta is pumping out huge amounts of androgens, progesterone. And if you were talking to a male who'd just been on steroids for nine months and then he went, hey, my libido's been down. We go, no kidding, you just took a bunch of steroids that were way outside of your normal physiology. Well, that's what pregnancy's like.

1:15:22🔗 Adam What the good doctor's saying is you're normal, it's okay, cut yourself some slack and try to find some time together and don't put up with not getting married to this guy if you want that or you know.

1:15:33🔗 Adam I couldn't imagine working in a convenience store. Like once in a while I pop into the convenience store and it's like I'm nervous for the 86 seconds I'm actually in there. I'm always finding myself sort of looking over my shoulder. I don't know what it is. There's something very uncomfortable about the environment. Maybe I've seen too much footage of guys getting around. You know what really screws me now is half of them are behind the bulletproof glass now. So now it's like I'm in the ocean. There's a shark somewhere around and I'm talking to guys in a shark cage. There's a seal in a shark cage. You're sliding me chum underneath the thing. And I'm like, this is great for you.

1:16:14🔗 Adam The lighting is scientifically figured out to get you the hell out of there. Do what you need and get out of there. Your eyeballs will dry up and fall out of your head.

1:16:23🔗 Adam You actually feel yourself being pushed by a fluorescent rays. It is weird. Like you walk in there and you immediately, first off, I'm always amazed that a convenience store like at the gas station has amazing range. It's like the store itself is 12 foot by 12 foot. It's got briquettes, frozen yogurt, entire inflator, all within four feet of each other.

1:16:47🔗 Adam And I love those impulse buys at 4.30 in the morning that you can possibly get.

1:16:51🔗 Adam Right, I'm gonna need the self-lighting briquettes, just in case. But yeah, the idea that the guys behind the glass, to me, makes it much more likely that someone's gonna storm in here and then use me as a hostage. Open the cash register or the nappy head one gets a bullet. Somehow now you're gonna get in between the gun and the crime. Yeah, I don't like that feeling. And if you know what they ought to do with that glass, they ought to paint something nice on it. Like, you know how they disguise the cell phone towers? They make them look like trees. Do something with that glass, put clouds on it or something. So it just doesn't look like it's there to stop bullets.

1:17:33🔗 Adam Put fish in it.

1:17:34🔗 Drew There you go. Rob, this is genius. Maybe even some video footage they project on there.

1:17:40🔗 Adam You take the glass and you make it about, make it like a screen saver. No, you just leave a six inch gap in there. In it, you have a tropical fish going around.

1:17:51🔗 Drew Oh, actually put fish in it.

1:17:52🔗 Adam Yeah, when you're outside of it, it looks like the entire thing is filled with whatever. Have the guy talk to you, make the bloop bloop sound when he's talking.

1:18:01🔗 Drew I'm dressed like Diver Dan.

1:18:02🔗 Adam Yeah, I need some camel eyes, bloop bloop bloop. Yeah, they never talk really. I mean, they don't say thanks or come again or anything like that. It'd be fine. I like that.

1:18:13🔗 Adam I like that, too.

1:18:13🔗 Adam Let's put fish in there. Plus, it'd make people less likely to shoot at it. Jason? You're 15? You got caught shoplifting.

1:18:22🔗 Caller Yeah, that's right. And Rite Aid.

1:18:24🔗 Adam And Rite Aid. What were you stealing?

1:18:26🔗 Adam Condoms.

1:18:27🔗 Caller No, gum.

1:18:30🔗 Drew Why?

1:18:31🔗 Caller What?

1:18:32🔗 Drew Why?

1:18:32🔗 Caller I didn't have enough money and I also bought some cards.

1:18:36🔗 Adam You didn't have enough money for gum?

1:18:37🔗 Caller Yeah, my breasts really smelled crappy, so I needed it.

1:18:41🔗 Adam All right, you wanted to be fresh. Yeah, look, if having fresh breath is a crime, well then take Jason off the juvie.

1:18:49🔗 Adam So what happened?

1:18:50🔗 Caller All right, so I got it and apparently there was some like undercover guard and he caught me when I walked out. And then he cut me out back and had me fill out some paperwork and crap. Oh! So then he called up my parents and they came and got me and my mom. Now they're all pissed at me and I have to join the Boy Scouts, which really sucks. Really?

1:19:13🔗 Adam Isn't 15 a little old for the Boy Scouts?

1:19:18🔗 Adam You're the Eagle Scout in waiting.

1:19:20🔗 Adam Yeah. But you're like a 15 year old guy stuffed into a Wee below outfit.

1:19:26🔗 Drew I like the way, like the fantasy interventions by the parents.

1:19:30🔗 Adam That's it.

1:19:31🔗 Drew Boy Scouts will certainly take care of this.

1:19:33🔗 Adam You are going to the Boy Scouts. Maybe you can get that little pin that you get for shoplifting, successful shoplifting. So, how does this make you want to call Loveline?

1:19:44🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:19:45🔗 Caller I wanted you to give me an excuse to get out of it or something.

1:19:48🔗 Adam Well, to get out of going to the Boy Scouts?

1:19:51🔗 Adam You got a self-inflicted stab wound.

1:19:54🔗 Adam The first day, tell them that the guy was checking out your crotch the whole time you were there, your parents won't let you go.

1:20:01🔗 Adam That's a good point.

1:20:02🔗 Drew You need to go to some other kind of treatment for this.

1:20:05🔗 Adam Well, what, for stealing gum?

1:20:07🔗 Drew No, something else going on here.

1:20:08🔗 Adam Jason, you are a pain in the ass, what's up? What's going on with you?

1:20:13🔗 Adam Parents divorced?

1:20:14🔗 Caller No.

1:20:15🔗 Adam They're together.

1:20:16🔗 Caller What are you?

1:20:16🔗 Adam Alcoholic?

1:20:17🔗 Caller Yeah, sometimes.

1:20:20🔗 Caller That's my bourbon.

1:20:22🔗 Adam What, is your dad one of these guys who's busy with work all the time?

1:20:26🔗 Caller No, I'm okay. He's good to you?

1:20:28🔗 Drew Are you a Mormon?

1:20:29🔗 Caller No. I think it might be because I live, I live in Van Nuys kind of. I'm on the border of Sherman Oaks and Van Nuys.

1:20:37🔗 Drew Right?

1:20:38🔗 Adam Yeah, that's Van Nuys.

1:20:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:39🔗 Drew That's abuse.

1:20:40🔗 Adam That's abuse. All right. Does Jason really have a question? And I think that's bogus because you can't send someone at 15 to the Boy Scouts.

1:20:48🔗 Adam All right.

1:20:48🔗 Adam Nobody does that.

1:20:49🔗 Adam Come on, these calls tonight. Let's get an interesting call in here.

1:20:53🔗 Adam How be cheated? His mom set it all up.

1:20:57🔗 Drew Let's take a break and then we'll go to the live.

1:20:58🔗 Adam Let me just, let me just, let's just say something. Casey?

1:21:00🔗 Adam Casey.

1:21:01🔗 Adam You're 23, your husband cheated.

1:21:03🔗 Caller Yes.

1:21:03🔗 Adam His mom, your husband's mother set this up?

1:21:07🔗 Caller Yes.

1:21:07🔗 Adam Tell me.

1:21:08🔗 Caller Okay, it was about a year ago, exactly. We had ran into his first love and his mother was like, don't trust her. She's conniving. And I just believed her, you know, okay, I don't trust her. And well, his mother and his sister started inviting her over to barbecues. Oh, well, they just want to be friends. And I had left state to go visit my mother and she invited my husband over, told him not to go to work and invited this girl over and was like, oh, well, you want to kiss her, go ahead. Nobody's going to know. And even told them, oh, you can use my bathroom.

1:21:46🔗 Adam How did you find this out?

1:21:48🔗 Caller He had actually went to the bar with her and a friend of mine seen him and called me and told me.

1:21:56🔗 Adam How did you find out that the mother said, go ahead and kiss him?

1:22:00🔗 Caller Oh, I actually am.

1:22:02🔗 Adam Your husband told you this?

1:22:03🔗 Caller No, he did. I, nobody knew. But his whole family knew. He.

1:22:08🔗 Adam How did you find out?

1:22:10🔗 Caller I found out that she knew from her daughter. I had confronted him.

1:22:15🔗 Adam I want to know, hey Casey, we got to take a break. We don't worry. We're going to get back to you. Who told you this? Casey's got that little girl voice. How did you find out that the mom said, go ahead and kiss him?

1:22:25🔗 Caller My sister-in-law.

1:22:26🔗 Adam How did she find out?

1:22:27🔗 Caller She was there.

1:22:29🔗 Drew How did she, what did she told you this?

1:22:31🔗 Caller She just found out her husband, my husband's brother cheated. And so she was like, she knew.

1:22:38🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on, hold on. Now by the way, I don't know what that white trash gene is where you have to go after everybody, except for the guy who the dick is attached to, who actually put it in the vagina, the other thing. It's a great thing though. I mean, I love this, why everyone loves Springer to see the two girls going at it. It's everybody but the guy who actually did the humping. And I love that too, like your mom pulled you aside. You'll not be going to work today. Like what's your mom do? Write you a note?

1:23:08🔗 Adam It was all against his will.

1:23:10🔗 Adam I just like the idea that you're an adult man and your mom's saying, like she's gonna pin a note to you on Tuesday when you go in, like so you don't get fired. Because your mom says she's pulling you out of work today. And then she's gonna bite you, kiss, start you kissing. Don't wanna use the tongue.

1:23:27🔗 Drew And then people believe these crazy, crazy stories.

1:23:30🔗 Adam Yeah, there's no doubt that mom's a piece of work.

1:23:33🔗 Adam But your mom is nuts, obviously. But the thing is, is that it's easier for you to dislike mom because it has less to do with what it's about you. That you could fall for a guy who could do this to you.

1:23:43🔗 Adam Oh my God. And all these people with their parent or in-law or whatever stories about how the mom controls them and he's great, except for when he's around her and he only listens, no, that's an idiot. Listen, I knew not to listen to my mom when I was nine. If my mom started, if my mom said anything that had to do with like, you shouldn't be talking to her.

1:24:05🔗 Adam There's a simple rule, you cannot blame your parents unless you're still a child. That's the simple rule.

1:24:11🔗 Adam That's good. All right, we're gonna come back with Casey also. She's got that little girl voice. And she's calling for Bakersfield.

1:24:18🔗 Adam There's a whole bunch of things going on.

1:24:19🔗 Adam And this is for Bakersfield. I mean, this could be the mayor and the police chief. I mean, this is top of the heap.

1:24:26🔗 Adam The calls started slow, but they're starting to pick up right here.

1:24:29🔗 Adam All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

1:24:34🔗 Caller We just played Bakersfield.

1:25:15🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, Rob Schneider is in our studio tonight. Good Charlotte, tomorrow night, when we left over speaking to Casey, Casey's husband cheated, but it was.

1:25:28🔗 Adam It was not his fault, it was his mom's fault.

1:25:30🔗 Adam Mom pulled his penis out, massaged it until it became a gorge with blood and put it inside a vagina.

1:25:35🔗 Adam She gave him a roofie, he didn't know what happened. He woke up and he had cheated.

1:25:38🔗 Adam That's right.

1:25:39🔗 Adam Completely innocent.

1:25:40🔗 Adam Casey.

1:25:41🔗 Adam Don't blame him.

1:25:42🔗 Adam All right. Now, first off, you got that little girl voice, were you ever abused? No sexual abuse?

1:25:49🔗 Caller No.

1:25:50🔗 Adam Where's your dad?

1:25:52🔗 Caller He's in Texas. Uh-huh.

1:25:54🔗 Adam And do you have a stepdad? You like him?

1:25:59🔗 Caller Yeah, so so.

1:26:00🔗 Adam He's all right, guy?

1:26:01🔗 Drew Why'd your dad leave?

1:26:04🔗 Caller He was abusive.

1:26:06🔗 Drew I thought you said you had no abuse.

1:26:08🔗 Caller No, to my mother. He was physically abusive to my mother.

1:26:10🔗 Drew And you were exposed to all that?

1:26:13🔗 Caller I wasn't. My mother left when I was young.

1:26:16🔗 Drew Left you?

1:26:19🔗 Caller Left my dad when I was young.

1:26:21🔗 Drew Were you exposed to all the violence?

1:26:24🔗 Adam OK, but she put up with him from an extended period of time?

1:26:28🔗 Caller For a while.

1:26:29🔗 Drew How were you not exposed to that?

1:26:31🔗 Caller She was with him for a while with my older sister. And I was about three when she left him.

1:26:38🔗 Drew So you were exposed to it during the most critical periods of development?

1:26:43🔗 Adam Just say yes so we can move forward here. All right. And the stepdad, and your mom went and married another guy? And he was abusive too, right? Shocking.

1:26:56🔗 Adam So you were surrounded by examples of your mom putting up with guys who were not nice to her?

1:27:00🔗 Adam All right.

1:27:01🔗 Drew To say the least.

1:27:02🔗 Adam All right.

1:27:03🔗 Adam Well, this is what happens. This is how it works.

1:27:08🔗 Drew So the way it works is either you pick another guy who's equally as abusive of your dad or you pick a nice guy and you expect abuse from him and you see it in everything he does.

1:27:16🔗 Adam And you can't tolerate it. And eventually you can't tolerate it if he's good.

1:27:19🔗 Drew Well, that's how you push it away, not seeing the abuse there.

1:27:22🔗 Adam And also, and if it's something that if you're with a guy and you would put up with more crap than anybody, make excuses for him because you're expecting him to do bad things.

1:27:32🔗 Drew It's got to be the women's fault. Do you have a mom for for exposing you to that?

1:27:36🔗 Adam Do you have any kids with this guy?

1:27:41🔗 Drew So three.

1:27:42🔗 Adam There's a real reason to make.

1:27:43🔗 Adam By the way, I would argue still ahead of the curve for Bakersfield and for Loveline, still well ahead of the Bakersfield curve.

1:27:51🔗 Drew All right.

1:27:52🔗 Adam Listen, first off, could you two tards quit having kids, please? Jesus Christ, we're personally trying to take down the United States, use the vagina as a weapon. It really is.

1:28:05🔗 Adam It's an economic enemy of the people.

1:28:09🔗 Adam And what's your husband do? In the what?

1:28:14🔗 Caller The oil fields.

1:28:15🔗 Adam The oil fields. So he's got a gig. So what do you plan on doing?

1:28:21🔗 Caller I don't. I'm trying to get over it. He says I should be completely over it and be fine with it.

1:28:27🔗 Adam How long ago was it? He's very generous that way. You should be over it already.

1:28:32🔗 Adam You should actually be coming onto the phase where you pay me for having sex. So how long has it been?

1:28:41🔗 Caller The last time he was with her was in December of last year. So it's come on a year.

1:28:49🔗 Adam Okay. So what do you just yell at him occasionally and say, well, and bring it up all the time or what happens?

1:28:54🔗 Caller No. Actually, the first couple of months I did, and he would come back and accuse me.

1:29:00🔗 Adam Accus you of what?

1:29:01🔗 Caller He would say that I cheat. Because I would go to the store. Sure.

1:29:06🔗 Adam Where were you?

1:29:07🔗 Caller I was cheating.

1:29:08🔗 Adam You were going to the store buying stuff behind my back.

1:29:10🔗 Drew Condoms.

1:29:11🔗 Adam Groceries.

1:29:13🔗 Drew All right. Listen, Casey. Let's get over. You have three kids.

1:29:16🔗 Adam Here's what. Let me tell you. Two jobs. Yes. Don't have any more kids, please. For the love of Christ. God knows what you're doing not to have kids. You're shoving bubble gum up your coos. What are you doing? You're on birth control. All right. We're going to send you on a windbreaker.

1:29:38🔗 Adam We have a winner.

1:29:39🔗 Adam Yes. The other part is I know you're screwed up. I know your parents are screwed up and your dad's abusive and you're only 23 and you have all the juice inside. You have a young screwed up woman. On the other hand, you have three kids not to screw up. How old are they? You have to just stop it. You have to put it all aside. And this is why you shouldn't crank out a bunch of kids when you're young and stupid because you're young and stupid first and a mother second. When you're 33 and this kind of stuff happens, you can get a little distance from it. You can push it aside a little bit and sort of focus on parenting. That's what Casey needs to do. I know she's not going to do it.

1:30:16🔗 Drew He has to form a relationship. You got to stay stable.

1:30:19🔗 Adam By the way, the kids, it's not a matter of if you're going to screw them up.

1:30:24🔗 Caller It's now how much you limit the damage.

1:30:26🔗 Adam OK, right.

1:30:27🔗 Adam You're already there already in junior college. That's the level. They're heading for junior college. Now you have prison, which is a notch above. It goes it goes a four year university prison, then junior college, then the grave. And there's even some debate on swapping the grave in junior college. But just try, try not to screw them up anymore, please. And Jake, yes. You're 21.

1:30:57🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 21. I was wondering, my first question is, is Adam, I saw you at a Distillers concert in Yorba Linda, and I'll give you a CD of my band. And I wondered if you actually listen to it, you know.

1:31:09🔗 Caller Yeah, you saw it at Distillers?

1:31:12🔗 Adam No, was it?

1:31:13🔗 Drew Yorba Linda. Oh, jeez. Cool.

1:31:17🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Listen to the CD. It sucks. No, no, I haven't listened to it. People hand me CDs all the time.

1:31:24🔗 I just throw them away.

1:31:25🔗 Adam I don't throw them away, though. I never throw anything away.

1:31:28🔗 Drew But they go in the gutter. You never see them again.

1:31:29🔗 Adam No, I throw them in my car.

1:31:30🔗 Adam My car's become a gutter. You gotta understand what it's like. People giving him stuff all the time. I mean, some guy gave me music to give to Tom Cruise because Tom Cruise was doing Mission Impossible 4 and he had a new take on the Mission Impossible. I just take it and then when I get on the plane, I throw it away. Yeah, we didn't tell you how to do that. You know, he's just trying to be nice. You gotta understand. I mean, it's the difference between hustling and just imposing on somebody just because they happen to be famous. But you know what? You gotta take a chance.

1:31:59🔗 Adam Yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do. But here, let me just say this and I'll put them on hold because this does happen to me a lot that people hand me stuff and say, hey man, you know, somehow I'm going to be the conduit to success. Here's your conduit to success, being good.

1:32:13🔗 Drew And persistent.

1:32:13🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:32:14🔗 Adam If you're good, you're going to make your own break.

1:32:16🔗 Adam Being good and being persistent and being consistent, persistent, and good. But it's not about...

1:32:22🔗 Adam Nobody is stopping anybody from being really talented.

1:32:25🔗 Caller No.

1:32:26🔗 Adam And finding success. And it's just hard work. I mean, no one ever gave me a break, honest, nobody.

1:32:31🔗 Caller Nobody.

1:32:32🔗 Adam Nobody.

1:32:32🔗 Adam No. He was beaten up by locals his whole, his whole childhood.

1:32:36🔗 Adam No, but just like you just get, you know what? You get good people eventually come to you, but you just keep hustling, you know, hustle, keep working at it.

1:32:43🔗 Adam No, people think better to not be talented and get Tom Cruise in a corner for 10 minutes. And they don't understand that doesn't... Even if it did work, it only works once. Then what? Then you got to be talented.

1:32:55🔗 Adam And then you corner them and then you get them to play, to listen to the whatever. And if it's nearly not that good.

1:32:59🔗 Adam That sucks.

1:33:00🔗 Adam Then keep working on your thing. You know what I mean?

1:33:02🔗 Adam All right. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

1:33:04🔗 All right, guys.

1:33:05🔗 Adam Bottom line.

1:33:06🔗 Here's the deal. Looking to hook up. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person. One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

1:33:12🔗 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:18🔗 Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:33:25🔗 Adam Thanks for watching Well, that's the show. Man, that was fast.

1:33:45🔗 Adam That went by quick.

1:33:46🔗 Adam That's good.

1:33:47🔗 Adam No real out and out sickos, just the usual couple of losers.

1:33:51🔗 Adam We'll double down on the sickos tomorrow. Plus good Charlotte's coming in tomorrow.

1:33:54🔗 Adam So that's going to be good.

1:33:55🔗 Drew They could park here.

1:33:56🔗 Adam Yeah, they will do multiple shows.

1:33:58🔗 Adam Blink 182 is that one?

1:34:00🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:34:01🔗 Adam Did they get their name off of Scarface? I sort of heard.

1:34:04🔗 Adam They told us before, and I can't remember what it is, but we'll ask them.

1:34:08🔗 Adam I think Scarface, the number of times he says MF or something. Really?

1:34:12🔗 Adam We'll ask on your behalf on Tuesday night.

1:34:14🔗 Adam I'm not really that interested. I just, you know, it's not going to tell me.

1:34:17🔗 Adam I'm dying to know. Rob Schneider, everybody. Go out and rent two Spigalow.

1:34:22🔗 Adam And why not?

1:34:23🔗 Adam Yeah. What?

1:34:25🔗 Drew And the animal?

1:34:25🔗 Adam Oh, and the animal. Yeah. And the hot chick. And Rob will come in here when he's got something else to plug, or if he has something else to plug.

1:34:34🔗 Adam It was just a pleasure to hang. It was a nice hang tonight. I enjoyed it. To see you guys.

1:34:39🔗 Adam Anytime you like, Rob.

1:34:40🔗 Adam Big fans of the show. And I love you guys.

1:34:43🔗 Adam Until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahala.

1:34:48🔗 Adam You are going to the Boy Scouts.

1:34:54🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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