Monday, February 11, 2002

1:01🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13🔗 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, now back from his trip around the United States. Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, the real bonafide doctor, everybody. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. And it is our privilege to introduce our guest tonight, the great Willie Nelson.

1:37🔗 Hello, there.

1:38🔗 Adam Get right up there on that mic, Willie.

1:41🔗 Willie Nelson Okay.

1:41🔗 Adam Willie, the first thought-

1:42🔗 Drew He's never seen one of those before, Adam.

1:44🔗 Willie Nelson You have a scary-looking thing.

1:45🔗 Drew Thank you for instructing him.

1:46🔗 Adam You speak in and then your voice comes out over the radio.

1:49🔗 Willie Nelson What do I think of next?

1:50🔗 Adam Willie, I have quite a few questions for Willie Nelson, who I think is safe to say he's a legend. One of them just a comment, which is smart, which is, you look exactly how I thought you were going to look in person, and probably the same as you did 25 years ago, and it was smart to create a look early on and never change it because no one thinks you're getting old.

2:16🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, I learned that from a guy named Grandpa Jones, and I learned it, I guess I started doing it, but I noticed that he never got older. He started out with a beard, and when I first saw him, and he was in his 20s, and then as he got older, he never aged.

2:33🔗 Adam Yeah, there's nothing worse. If anyone has ever seen the lead singer from Lover Boy, they'll know that it's important. You should establish an older look earlier. You end up getting fat, and your hair falls out, and you look like hell.

2:46🔗 Willie Nelson Grow a beard as soon as you can.

2:48🔗 Adam Grow a nice gray beard now. And then also, I was thinking about this with Bin Laden, if you ever have to take it on the lamb, there's something to shave off. You know what I mean?

2:58🔗 Willie Nelson You can change it then.

2:59🔗 Adam If Willie Nelson gets into more trouble with the IRS, or more trouble with an ex-wife, or has to take it on the lamb at some point, If Willie Nelson shaves that beard clean, and gets himself like a nice Page Boy haircut, he can go anywhere in the country and be left alone.

3:18🔗 Willie Nelson Well, I don't know. I shaved in that new album.

3:20🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute.

3:21🔗 Willie Nelson I'm shaving on that album there.

3:22🔗 Adam Well, it is true.

3:23🔗 Willie Nelson So I've already screwed all that up.

3:24🔗 Adam Yeah, all right.

3:25🔗 Drew I don't recognize your hair.

3:26🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, it's not really me. It looks a lot like me.

3:28🔗 Drew It's a transform.

3:28🔗 Adam Who is this? You still got a little goatee.

3:33🔗 Willie Nelson Well, yeah, it's just sort of a few days' growth there.

3:36🔗 Adam The Great Divide, by the way, is the new album that Willie's alluding to.

3:40🔗 Drew There's a book, too.

3:42🔗 Adam Yes, that is out in record stores as we speak. And go ahead and plug that book, Drew, if you're so anxious to do it.

3:48🔗 Drew The book is called The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes. The CD features songs with other singers, right?

3:54🔗 Adam Yeah, Sheryl Crow, one of them.

3:57🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, Bonnie Raitt, Rob Thomas, Kid Rock, Leanne Womack.

4:04🔗 Adam Sheryl Crow, by the way, invited me to her birthday party tonight. I don't know if you got invited, Willie, but...

4:10🔗 Willie Nelson No, I didn't get invited, but I did.

4:11🔗 Adam Interesting, interesting.

4:12🔗 Willie Nelson I didn't know it was her birthday, though. So I don't see any end. It was their, where they said, Happy birthday to all those folks. Older age, too, but I'm not going to say nothing.

4:20🔗 Adam 40 years old.

4:21🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, you're right.

4:23🔗 Adam See, she should have grown that beard in her 20s.

4:27🔗 Willie Nelson She looks pretty good.

4:27🔗 Adam She does. I think she got a good genetic hand dealt to her. But now, how many of these people have you worked with before, or how many of these people contacted you, or how many did you contact, or how did all that go?

4:39🔗 Willie Nelson Well, I have worked with several of them before, but on this particular project, the producer, Matt Sirletic, called him up and asked him if they d like to participate. And Cheryl Crowe and I have worked together on a couple of things. Bonnie Raitt. It was the first time Leon Womack and I had worked together. Dave, Brian McKnight, the first time I d met him.

5:02🔗 Adam Yeah, he s a tall sip of water, isn t he?

5:05🔗 Drew Nice guy, though.

5:05🔗 Willie Nelson Good singer, yeah.

5:06🔗 Adam Very, very nice, yeah.

5:07🔗 Willie Nelson And Kid Rock, we met on a couple of years ago, we did Woodstock together, so that's where I met him. And who else did we forget?

5:19🔗 Adam Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20. Yeah. Yeah, it looks like a good lineup, and I'm guessing we're going to hear some songs. Yeah, we'll hear the one with Rob Thomas from it tonight, and possibly something else. So just going over the stat sheet has recorded over 200 records. That seems just absolutely amazing to me. Is that 200 full length records, or does that include singles?

5:46🔗 Willie Nelson Well, it's full length records, and some of them could be double albums, too.

5:51🔗 Adam Wow. That just seems like five lifetimes worth of work. Sold more than 33 million CDs. Well, but to be fair, you only have to sell like 100 of each one of these records to get to 33 million. Don't you? I mean, if you do 200 records, you got to sell like 180.

6:07🔗 Willie Nelson You can press up that many and sell them in your garage.

6:12🔗 Adam And here's the one I like. I like, I owed the IRS 32 million bucks. That's good, but got it down to 9 million and paid it off or you still owe them?

6:21🔗 Willie Nelson No, I paid them off.

6:22🔗 Adam The sons of bitches. Dirty, dirty bastards. All right. So that's all square. You're on your bus. We got the new CD to hear and we also got a bunch of dates where Willie will be rolling through and visiting you in the weeks to come. So I'll give those out too, but we'll take some phone calls first. Ben?

6:44🔗 Yeah.

6:45🔗 Adam You're 24?

6:46🔗 Caller Yep.

6:47🔗 Adam What's up?

6:47🔗 Caller Well, first I got to say hello to Willie Nelson.

6:51🔗 Willie Nelson Hey, Ben, how you doing?

6:52🔗 Caller I'm doing pretty good. I saw you, I think it was like 1984, 1983, you did a farm aid at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Nebraska.

7:02🔗 Willie Nelson Yes, sir.

7:02🔗 Caller And my folks called me there and-

7:05🔗 Drew You were three.

7:07🔗 Caller Well, I would have been six or seven.

7:09🔗 Drew Oh, okay.

7:10🔗 Caller All right. And I've been a big fan ever since.

7:14🔗 Willie Nelson Well, thank you very much.

7:15🔗 Caller That was my main reason, well, not my main reason for calling, but since it was you, I finally made the leap and called the show. But I actually had a question for Dr. Drew. Yeah. Like every once in a while, my girlfriend and I kind of have, I don't know, like marathon sex.

7:39🔗 Adam Yeah.

7:40🔗 Caller And-

7:41🔗 Drew I like the way our call is toned down for Willie's behalf. I appreciate that.

7:44🔗 Adam Yeah, there's a certain reverence.

7:45🔗 Drew Yes, thank you.

7:46🔗 Caller And-

7:47🔗 Drew Will you show us a little bit of that once in a while?

7:49🔗 Go ahead.

7:50🔗 Caller What ends up happening is by the end of it, after four or five ejaculations, not that there's much there.

7:59🔗 Drew In one evening?

8:00🔗 Caller Yes.

8:01🔗 Adam Wow.

8:02🔗 Drew 24.

8:04🔗 Caller It becomes really sensitive down there.

8:06🔗 Drew Yeah, no kidding. What is your question?

8:08🔗 Adam It's bleeding.

8:09🔗 Drew Well, is there something wrong with that? No, there's something wrong with you having five emissions.

8:16🔗 Yeah.

8:17🔗 Drew That's extraordinary. You can hurt yourself by doing that too much. I mean, not harm yourself, but you can cause yourself discomfort.

8:25🔗 All right.

8:26🔗 Caller Well, my main concern is it becomes very sensitive down there. I lay on my back naked for usually just till I go to sleep.

8:34🔗 Drew Let's just replace any other part of your body with the story you're describing to me. You rubbed your arm until it hurts so much that you had to hold it out the window of your car and keep it away from you for hours at a time. Next time around, wouldn't you not do that, not do what caused all that discomfort? No, I guess not.

8:53🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. We just get things get to going.

8:57🔗 Adam Yeah, all right. But you understand that you were having sex for four hours, right?

9:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

9:04🔗 Adam I mean, you're lucky you didn't spit your nut sack out at the end of your penis.

9:08🔗 Drew Your soul.

9:09🔗 Adam Yeah, your soul didn't come out. That happened to me once. Well, and then I had to go track it down. I had to use a shop vac to get it. I never did put it back in, true.

9:18🔗 Drew Like a ghost buster.

9:21🔗 Adam Yeah, to go collect my soul with a shop vac. But then that's enough. You did four hours. Just cut it down to three.

9:27🔗 Drew Right. That's all.

9:29🔗 Caller All right. Well, yeah, I didn't realize it would hurt.

9:33🔗 Drew I was concerned about it. Now you are. Now you do realize. Now you know.

9:36🔗 Caller I mean, my girlfriend would touch me down there and it's just like.

9:40🔗 Drew Cut it back. She's probably uncomfortable too.

9:43🔗 Willie Nelson If it hurts to do that, don't do that.

9:45🔗 Drew There you go. Very simple.

9:46🔗 Adam All right, Ben. All right.

9:47🔗 Drew The mouth of Willie Nelson, Ben.

9:49🔗 Adam There you go.

9:49🔗 Drew Did you hear it?

9:50🔗 Adam Yeah. If you're ever camping and you're roasting marshmallows and you're holding a stick out over the campfire and your hand starts to feel warm and then it starts to burn, you got to pull it back.

10:01🔗 Drew Pull away. No lever hand in the fire.

10:03🔗 Adam It'll start to blister.

10:04🔗 Drew That's right.

10:04🔗 Adam All right, buddy? All righty. All right. All right.

10:07🔗 Drew Got to love our college. Ouch.

10:09🔗 Adam Four hours. All right. I don't have a combined four hours, by the way.

10:14🔗 Drew In your lifetime.

10:15🔗 Adam No. You combined every sexual encounter I've had. You got about an hour 45, hour 50, but not four. Josh?

10:22🔗 Yeah.

10:23🔗 Adam You're 17?

10:24🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

10:24🔗 Adam What's up?

10:25🔗 Caller I got a girlfriend who lives in Arkansas. I live in Dallas, Texas, pretty much. And she moved down here about a year ago. And she moved away after I screwed up and cheated on her. And I'm in love with her still. I mean, I'm madly in love with her.

10:44🔗 Drew Magically now he's madly in love. When he was cheating, it was, you know.

10:48🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, it was like that puppy love thing, you know. But now it's like...

10:53🔗 Drew Now that she's gone, it's matured somehow?

10:55🔗 Caller Right. It's like one of those things...

10:56🔗 Drew That's not... No, no, no. No, no, no. That's not how it works, Josh. I mean, that's how infatuation works, but that's not how love works. No.

11:03🔗 Adam Well, all right. Well, let's just say he is in love with her. What do you want to do? Get her back?

11:07🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm trying to debate whether or not I should just go and get her and bring her down here and move into our own house and stuff.

11:14🔗 Drew How old is she?

11:16🔗 Caller She's... I thought she was 17. I... She's 19. 18 or 19.

11:21🔗 Drew And how old are you?

11:22🔗 Caller I'm 17.

11:23🔗 Drew No. Just relax.

11:24🔗 Adam What makes you think she would go with you?

11:27🔗 Caller Um, I've talked to her recently and she's expressed that she still loves me. And I still love her. I mean, we haven't ever had sex or anything. And we've, we've just, we just love each other. I mean, it's one of those...

11:44🔗 Adam Why'd you cheat on her?

11:45🔗 Caller Huh? Um, I had a relationship with a chick before her.

11:51🔗 Drew Well, that explains it. There, okay.

11:52🔗 Caller It was a sexual relationship and it was like, I wasn't getting that sexual relationship from her, so I got the relationship.

11:58🔗 Adam Why, why, why weren't you having the sex with her?

12:01🔗 Caller Well, she's kind of a heavy-sit person, you know? And so I didn't, I didn't really wanna have sex with her. I just, like, this other girl fulfilled my fantasies and she was just the person that I hung out with for social status, pretty much.

12:15🔗 Adam She fulfilled every fantasy by not being fat?

12:18🔗 Caller Right.

12:18🔗 Adam Right.

12:19🔗 Caller Right.

12:19🔗 Adam Hold on a second.

12:20🔗 Drew Whoa.

12:21🔗 Adam Wow, this guy's got, this is weird.

12:23🔗 Yeah.

12:24🔗 Adam Now, do we wanna take a guess at the weight or?

12:28🔗 Drew What's going on here?

12:29🔗 Adam Is this bogus?

12:30🔗 Drew I had that certain definite bogus vibe.

12:32🔗 Adam Willie, what do you think? Do you think he's serious?

12:34🔗 Willie Nelson It sounded weird there.

12:35🔗 Drew Yeah. So it went south on us quick.

12:37🔗 Adam But wait a minute.

12:38🔗 Willie Nelson It sounded like he's putting us on a little bit.

12:40🔗 Adam But he said she was 17, or he thought she was 17, and then it turned out she was 19, which doesn't sound like bogus information. I mean, why are you going to make that up?

12:49🔗 Drew No, he had me completely going until all of a sudden.

12:52🔗 Adam She's overweight. Maybe. All right.

12:55🔗 Drew That's possible.

12:56🔗 Adam I'll talk to him a little more. Josh? We're intrigued.

13:00🔗 Caller You're intrigued?

13:01🔗 Adam Yes.

13:02🔗 Caller Wow.

13:02🔗 Adam Tell us more. How heavy is she?

13:06🔗 Caller She's 180.

13:09🔗 Drew Well, are you physically attracted to her at all?

13:12🔗 Caller Yes, I am. I mean, you can look into her eyes and just get lost in them. I'm just... It's just look into her eyes and you're like, I love this girl.

13:22🔗 Drew Josh, where's your family?

13:25🔗 Caller My family lives next door.

13:27🔗 Drew Next door to you?

13:28🔗 Caller Yeah, next door to me.

13:29🔗 Drew Why were you kicked out?

13:31🔗 Caller Because my parents called me cheating with this girl on the... on the... The girl's name is Holly and the girl I cheated with was April. And they called me cheating with April on Holly and they like Holly way more than they liked April.

13:46🔗 Drew They kicked you out of their house?

13:48🔗 Caller Yeah, they kicked me out of my house.

13:50🔗 Adam Hold on. Hefty Holly? Hefty Holly?

13:53🔗 Caller Yeah, Holly's the hefty one, yeah. And so they kicked me out for cheating on her. And they, I moved all the way to Abilene, but I just moved back like recently, in about six weeks.

14:04🔗 Drew Turn all the cards.

14:05🔗 Adam All right. This is a really bad soap opera.

14:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:11🔗 Drew I want to know what Willie thinks about this. What do you ought to do? What do you think?

14:14🔗 Adam Willie, you got to write a song about this first.

14:16🔗 Willie Nelson Oh, nobody would believe it. It's an unbelievable story.

14:22🔗 Adam Well, what do you think?

14:23🔗 Drew Well, first of all, let's dispense with the marriage issue. Should he go run and get this girl, Hefty Holly, and marry her?

14:29🔗 Willie Nelson I don't know. I was trying to wonder what's wrong with the one he's having sex with. Yeah.

14:32🔗 Adam All right. What's wrong with her?

14:35🔗 Caller She's a slut.

14:36🔗 Willie Nelson All right.

14:37🔗 Drew So he's just using her for sex.

14:38🔗 Willie Nelson But is she fat?

14:40🔗 Caller No, she's not.

14:41🔗 Drew All right. And so what about marriage at 17? Good thing? Bad thing?

14:47🔗 Willie Nelson Nope.

14:47🔗 Drew Willie, what do you think?

14:48🔗 Willie Nelson At 17? No, it's not only bad, it's horrible.

14:52🔗 Drew Okay. We are, the triumvirate here agrees.

14:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

14:57🔗 Willie Nelson 17 is way too young.

14:58🔗 Drew The judges of three are saying wait another 14 years and then take a shot at it.

15:03🔗 Adam When did you get married first, Willie? What was your age?

15:05🔗 Willie Nelson When I was 16.

15:08🔗 Adam Oh, really?

15:08🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

15:09🔗 Adam Wow.

15:10🔗 Willie Nelson So we were both kids, had no idea what was going on. So, you know, we lasted 10 years and got a divorce.

15:17🔗 Drew That's pretty good for that.

15:18🔗 Willie Nelson Not bad, you know, but I was gone a lot of that time, though, see? So, but no, 16 was way too early.

15:25🔗 Adam Were you on the road at 16? Were you playing?

15:28🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, I had a band.

15:29🔗 Adam So you were out playing?

15:30🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

15:31🔗 Adam 16, dropped out of high school?

15:34🔗 Willie Nelson No, we were just playing. Well, I waited until I got out of high school before. Then I went to the Air Force and then I got married when I got out of the Air Force. Wow. And I started playing in bands and started my own band.

15:45🔗 Adam Where did you grow up?

15:46🔗 Willie Nelson In Texas.

15:47🔗 Adam That sounds right.

15:48🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, where? Abbott, Texas. It's in central Texas between Waco and Dallas.

15:55🔗 Adam And was it one of these situations where you wanted to get out of there growing up or did you love it?

16:00🔗 Willie Nelson No, I kind of liked it down there and still do. There was a lot of great places to play around Abbott West, Waco, Hillsboro, San Antonio, Austin. And I could have been happy just hanging out down there playing the joints. But I also wanted to be a songwriter, so I went to Nashville to get that started.

16:20🔗 Caller Wow.

16:21🔗 Adam And then that lasted until 26, right?

16:26🔗 Willie Nelson H-26.

16:27🔗 Adam And then you got married again later on down the road.

16:29🔗 Caller Did you wait a while?

16:31🔗 Willie Nelson Not really, no. It seems like 10 years is sort of in the average.

16:37🔗 Adam Average marriage?

16:38🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

16:38🔗 Adam Hey, I don't look at that as a failure at all, by the way. I think that's pretty good for a job or even school, even college. I look at 10 years as a pretty solid mark.

16:47🔗 Willie Nelson It's not anything to be ashamed of, really. And all my wives and I are friends, so... Are you? We haven't parted enemies or nothing.

16:56🔗 Adam Drew wishes that he could say the same about his only wife. Megan?

16:59🔗 Yes.

17:00🔗 Adam You're 23?

17:01🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

17:02🔗 Adam You got a question for Willie Nelson?

17:05🔗 Caller It's more of a, just I want to tell him something.

17:07🔗 Adam All right.

17:08🔗 Willie Nelson There he is. Hello.

17:09🔗 Caller Hi, Willie. You have, you met my father a little while ago, I guess, of, family member of yours works with him. And I just wanted to tell you thank you for being so kind to him. You, like, when we were young, we used to go on trips and every time we went on a trip, we would have, not half listen, but we would listen to On The Road again. And it became, it became just like, you know, part of our family and my dad has loved you and our whole family has loved you forever. And when he got to meet you, it just made his day.

17:43🔗 Willie Nelson Where did we meet?

17:45🔗 Caller You met at a concert in Anaheim.

17:47🔗 Willie Nelson Oh, just a few days ago.

17:49🔗 Caller Well, just a little while ago. Yeah. His name's Bobby.

17:52🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, we were just there.

17:54🔗 Caller And he works at Disneyland.

17:55🔗 Adam Hey, which, what is he? Is he one of the dwarves or what's he do over there?

18:00🔗 Caller No, he just works in one of the shops. He's worked there for over 30 years.

18:04🔗 Adam That's a good gig. I think your dad works at Disneyland.

18:07🔗 Drew 30 years in one of the shops.

18:09🔗 Adam Yeah, let me tell you something.

18:10🔗 Drew Which shop? Come on. Hang on.

18:12🔗 Adam Sorry, who needs an in?

18:13🔗 Caller Main Street, the photo supply company they call it on Main Street.

18:18🔗 Adam 30 years.

18:19🔗 Caller Yeah, actually 33 probably now. It's been quite a while.

18:23🔗 Adam Wearing like a straw hat and a bad vest.

18:26🔗 Drew The striped, red and white striped?

18:28🔗 Adam Yeah, like the barber shop.

18:29🔗 Caller He always has a different outfit on. They make him wear all kinds of crazy stuff.

18:34🔗 Adam Let me say thanks for calling, Megan, by the way. That's a job that maybe some adults might scoff at. You've been working at Disneyland your whole life. You don't own the place. You're just punching the clock as they say. But as a kid, no one's parents end up doing anything anyway. They have some business. They try to get off the ground that doesn't work out, or they work for some law firm, doesn't pay any dividends for the kids. Well, I'd rather have a dad instead of just being like a junior principal at some crampy high school. Why not just work at Disneyland? It'd be a better life for the kids.

19:07🔗 Drew Listen, it's some acts of stability. Listen to how sane she sounds.

19:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

19:10🔗 Drew I think it sounds great.

19:11🔗 Adam She's been living off of cotton candy for 30 years now. Yeah, she's excited about Willie Nelson.

19:19🔗 Drew Life is one big Kodak moment for her.

19:21🔗 Adam Yeah, dad wearing a different outfit every time.

19:24🔗 Willie Nelson She's seen everything at Disneyland probably.

19:26🔗 Adam Yeah, probably going twice a week for her entire life. Do you want to hear a Willie Nelson sound?

19:31🔗 Drew Yeah, I want to hear Maria, yeah, yeah.

19:32🔗 Adam Okay, this is one with Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20. He's been on this show a couple of times and a good guy. This is off the new Willie Nelson CD and it's called Maria.

21:09🔗 You always had on.

23:55🔗 Adam That was our guest, the great Willie Nelson with Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20, Off The Great Divide, which is the new CD. Willie is going to be on tour, and has a whole bunch of dates here that I'm going to tell you about, and also tell you about the book, The Facts of Life, and other dirty jokes. His name is Willie's second book. And we'll take more of your calls and do all of that right after this.

24:21🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Live will be right back.

25:00🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. The legend Willie Nelson has been kind enough to join us tonight. The new CD is called The Great Divide, and the book is called The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes. Both out as we speak on a tour. You can find Willie and his big brown bus pulling into a town near you. It's going to be in Fresno and where the hell is Oroville? I don't know. That's in California somewhere. I'm surprised at all these backwater towns that are in California. I never think of it that way. We always discuss this. Yeah. But just heading up the coast from LA up toward San Francisco, and then a bunch of dates in Frisco at the Fillmore, and Houston, Texas, and Fort Worth, and Ventura. Ventura. Seems like you should get there on the way to Frisco. I'll talk to your tour manager. But a bunch of dates coming up, and you can go. Uh-oh. I doodled on Willie's website thing, but it's www.willienelson.com.

26:09🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

26:10🔗 Adam There you go. And if you want any tour dates or any facts about Willie, that's where you go to the willienelson.com. All right.

26:18🔗 Drew There's also what? losthighwayrecords.com, right? Right. Okay.

26:22🔗 Adam You can go to that and find out what?

26:25🔗 Drew Same thing.

26:25🔗 Adam Okay. All right. Let's talk to William, who's 19. William?

26:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:31🔗 Adam What's up?

26:34🔗 Caller Well, I'm having a problem coming up to my big brother and my grandparents.

26:38🔗 Drew What's the problem?

26:38🔗 Caller About being homosexual.

26:39🔗 Drew What's the problem?

26:41🔗 Caller Well, I asked my mom about this, and she said I shouldn't tell my grandma because of the fact that she might elaborate to the rest of the family.

26:47🔗 Drew And why would that be a problem?

26:50🔗 Caller Well, we have some pretty homophobic people in our family and pretty offensive people that should probably actually hurt me if they found out.

26:57🔗 Drew All right. So then you shouldn't come out to your grandparents just in the interest of prudence.

27:03🔗 Adam Well, what are those old codgers going to do? Throw their teeth at you? No, no.

27:06🔗 Drew They're going to tell the nieces and nephews and there's apparently some...

27:09🔗 Adam Well, who's going to hurt you?

27:11🔗 Caller Well, there would probably be some of my cousins.

27:15🔗 Adam Find out you're gay and come up in Colcock yet, Thanksgiving or something?

27:20🔗 Caller Probably, yeah.

27:21🔗 Adam Really?

27:23🔗 Drew Listen.

27:23🔗 Adam That's a bad family.

27:24🔗 Drew Yeah. There are bad families and they're bad people and that is why you should in the interest of prudence. Again, take away homosexuality and fill in the blank with something else. That if you tell your family they're going to hurt you, you wouldn't do it. It just makes sense not to do it. They don't need to know that about you. They aren't good people that you want to associate with all the time intimately. They don't deserve that and so that's it. You've told your parents, they'll embrace you. That's great.

27:55🔗 Adam Well, I said, mom, what about your dad?

27:59🔗 Caller I'm sorry, what was the question?

28:00🔗 Adam What about your dad?

28:02🔗 Caller My dad doesn't live with me, he's an asshole, so.

28:04🔗 Adam Uh-huh.

28:05🔗 Caller But he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, so.

28:07🔗 Adam All right.

28:07🔗 Caller That's his problem.

28:08🔗 Adam Yeah, sounds like he had a little ax to grind with these people though, William.

28:13🔗 Caller Yeah, but I really want to tell my big brother, but he's in prison right now and so he has a lot to worry about.

28:20🔗 Drew Again, so you want to get him hurt?

28:22🔗 Adam Yeah, why, listen, William.

28:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:25🔗 Adam I understand you're angry at your family because they're horrible people. And now, you feel like there's a feeling like you want to sort of even it up with them. You know they're going to hate to hear this, so here goes. But why don't you get over that and just sort of lead your life? You got a big brother's in prison, you got a no-count dad, you got screwball grandparents and abusive cousins. How about just breaking away and doing your own thing?

28:54🔗 Drew You're still engaged in a dance with them that is harmful to you. Just disengage.

28:58🔗 Adam Is it that important that they know?

28:59🔗 Drew Disengage.

29:00🔗 Adam You don't even like them.

29:01🔗 Drew Get on with your life.

29:04🔗 Caller You're right. I should live on with my life.

29:06🔗 Adam Just live your life. This is one of the perks of being gay. You get a partner, you start a business, you get that twin income, you don't have the kids running around, you get to take separate vacations and no one's pissed off about it. You recycle a lot. It's a good life. You drive a two-seater your whole life, you never have to get a minivan. It's a great life. Poor Drew over here, tells me every night, I want a sports car, man, I want a sports car, but I can't, I got the kids, they're going to screw it up, they're going to vomit in the back, I'm going to crayons melting in the back of my jag and the wife wouldn't let me get it. Poor Drew over here. If you were gay, you'd be driving a one-seater, right?

29:49🔗 Drew A two-seater.

29:49🔗 Adam Still two. I guess you got to throw the guy or the picnic basket or whatever in the passenger seat. But if you were gay, you'd be driving a 1950s Austin Healey with some Herb Alpert cranking and a scarf blowing in the background. You'd be wearing that cap and a tweed jacket, smoking a pipe and just laughing, laughing carelessly as you went down PCH on a beautiful windswept day, right? Right. No, you're chained to your office, the kids are calling, they're vomiting all over the place.

30:20🔗 Drew Oh, it reminds me, my kids brought you a letter.

30:21🔗 Adam Your kids brought me a letter?

30:22🔗 Drew Yeah, they want you to build a tree house for them.

30:25🔗 Adam This is what happens. This is what I'm talking about. Now I'm getting sucked into this horrible life.

30:30🔗 Drew My daughter wants to create a society called Kids Powering Kids or something to go clean up the environment.

30:37🔗 Adam Okay, listen, let me tell you something. If you're black, if you're a woman, if you're a lesbian, get in a group. If you're in a group that you're going to grow out of in four years, don't get in a group. What do you do as the head of Kids Incorporated on your 15th birthday? You know what I mean?

30:55🔗 Drew You're screwed. It's going to have money for orphanages and weather shelter for homeless people.

31:02🔗 Adam No, I'm against both those things.

31:04🔗 Drew My daughter wants to be able to set this up.

31:06🔗 Adam What weather? It's nice out here.

31:07🔗 Drew Here's a note for you.

31:08🔗 Adam Okay. The kids want me to come over and build them a tree house?

31:12🔗 Drew I haven't read it yet.

31:13🔗 Adam Will you please help build a tree house? I'd really like it. Can you please? That's from Paulina, the daughter.

31:22🔗 Drew She's on the road.

31:23🔗 Adam Okay.

31:23🔗 Caller All right.

31:24🔗 Adam I'm going to have my attorney look at this stuff, Drew, and then they'll get a formal response out to the kids, but tell them not to keep their fingers crossed. See, this is what happens. These kids don't have a good enough life. They need me coming over and building them a tree house.

31:36🔗 Caller All right.

31:37🔗 Adam Let's talk to Willie. I'm right about the gay life. It's a good life if you can tolerate the penis part, right?

31:45🔗 Willie Nelson Well, I would think so. Yeah. I see nothing wrong with it at all. I have no, it looks like a fairly peaceful existence from what I've noticed and observed through the years.

31:59🔗 Adam I think it's better than the heterosexual life. You know I wish I was gay, Drew.

32:05🔗 Drew I know that.

32:05🔗 Adam And I'm working on it. Don't worry.

32:06🔗 Drew It makes me a little nervous. In fact, sometimes.

32:08🔗 Adam No, don't worry, but I'm working.

32:10🔗 Drew Well, then you're going to run off with someone else.

32:11🔗 Adam Christina?

32:12🔗 Yeah.

32:13🔗 Adam You're 17?

32:15🔗 Caller Yes.

32:16🔗 Adam What's up?

32:17🔗 Caller What's up?

32:18🔗 Adam What's up?

32:22🔗 Caller I've been, I've known this guy for about a year and we finally got together this weekend. And well, he asked me to give him head, so I was. And while I was doing that, he told me to spit on him. And at the time I was thinking, why am I fixing to spit on this guy? And later on, I asked some friends and they're guessing some form of lubrication. But I'm thinking my tongue, that's lubrication enough for you. And I'm wondering.

32:56🔗 Adam He wanted you to spit on his penis? He wanted you to?

32:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:00🔗 Drew Weren't you asking about this in pornography or something? Yeah.

33:03🔗 Adam There is a kind of trend in pornography where they're sort of slobbering all over.

33:08🔗 Caller I'm guessing maybe it's some form of turn on for him. I don't know.

33:12🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, he could have been influenced by these movies. Maybe that was it. So did you do it?

33:18🔗 Caller Yeah, I did it.

33:19🔗 Adam How do you do that? Do you just hawk one right on it?

33:22🔗 Caller I'm not sure if I'm supposed to give a little, like a little or a.

33:25🔗 Adam Yeah. I did that. Hit the guy right in the balls. Couldn't line it up. Yeah. All right. So now your question is, why?

33:35🔗 Caller I was just wondering, is that something normal or?

33:39🔗 Drew Maybe it's a trend. It's something unusual. But as Adam mentioned, it's now hot in the pornographic film industry.

33:45🔗 Adam I would have though, how old is he?

33:48🔗 Caller He's 23.

33:49🔗 Adam Oh, you're 17, baby.

33:51🔗 Drew What's that all about?

33:53🔗 Caller I have no idea. I've known him for a year and somehow this happened.

33:59🔗 Drew Well, somehow because he's been waiting in the brush, waiting to pounce on you and you finally gave him an opportunity. Why do you think he's been hanging out all year?

34:08🔗 Caller Huh?

34:08🔗 Adam How do you know this guy?

34:10🔗 Caller I used to work with him.

34:11🔗 Adam Oh.

34:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:13🔗 Drew What kind of place?

34:15🔗 Caller McDonald's. He was a store manager.

34:17🔗 Adam All right. Are you in love with him?

34:20🔗 Caller No. I used to have strong feelings for him.

34:23🔗 Adam Does his penis taste like French fries? Because I used to work at McDonald's and my fingers, my cuticles would smell like onions and French fries for weeks after getting off that place. I can only imagine what my penis would have smelled like.

34:36🔗 Drew Did you stick your penis in the fryer?

34:39🔗 Adam I took a leak in the freezer once. The last day, it was like a defiant move on 16. I had to do it. It screwed me over. Come on, 265 an hour, kiss my ass. So, Christina, are you done with this guy or is there more?

34:57🔗 Caller He called me this weekend because this happened last weekend. He asked me to come over again and I was busy. I was at a party. Then he started getting into the subject of, what are you wearing right now? I was like, I got to go.

35:10🔗 Adam So, he called you that night and wants you to come over that night.

35:14🔗 Caller Yeah, it's kind of like he thinks I'm his booty call or something.

35:16🔗 Adam Right, all right. All right, so you're done with this guy, right?

35:19🔗 Caller Pretty much, yeah.

35:20🔗 Adam Okay, well, that's enough.

35:22🔗 Caller Okay, thank you.

35:23🔗 Adam All right. Guys are brazen these days, Willie, with the, you know, like the oral sex is not enough. I need more.

35:32🔗 Drew I need a hawk on me.

35:33🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, and it's so, of course, that's even a little shocking to guys my age when, you know, oral sex is sort of a given, you know.

35:40🔗 Drew Oh, it comes, it's just a shad after, a tiny bit after making out comes, it comes.

35:47🔗 Adam Yeah, it's considered no big deal.

35:49🔗 Drew Yeah, it's like heavy petting.

35:52🔗 Adam Yeah.

35:52🔗 Drew Something, there's something diabolical about it because it sort of takes the whole issue of intercourse out of the equation, you know?

35:59🔗 Adam Yeah.

36:00🔗 Drew But on the other hand, women have to sort of subjugate themselves to get there and...

36:04🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, I think it... I wish this trend was in place when I was in high school. That's for damn sure.

36:11🔗 Willie Nelson It was a little late coming, so to speak.

36:13🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. It didn't arrive. It was like CDs and cell phones, all things I could have used.

36:20🔗 Willie Nelson This issue of color TV.

36:21🔗 Adam This would have been at the top of the list. Drew was the radio.

36:24🔗 Drew Highlighted for me, again, the difference between men and women. When I was in Mississippi yesterday, a woman stood up and goes, why are guys so into oral sex? Adam, why?

36:32🔗 Adam Because we have penises. Yeah.

36:33🔗 Drew Right. Because it feels good. They're like, what? What?

36:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

36:37🔗 Drew What?

36:38🔗 Adam Also though, and I think Willie will agree with me on this, I like the idea of someone's mouth on my penis. It's not only the feeling, but I like the idea of it.

36:47🔗 Willie Nelson It's a nice picture.

36:48🔗 Adam Yeah. It's nice. It means you've arrived. Your penis has arrived, is what it means. All hail the penis. Willie Nelson is our guest tonight. We're going to take a question for Willie when we come back.

37:05🔗 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

37:38🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Willie Nelson has joined us here in the Loveline studio tonight, talking a little about the bus, life on the road, having satellite on that bus. Woo-hoo! I've ridden in a few limos that had the TV set, but-

37:56🔗 Drew They never were.

37:57🔗 Adam Completely useless.

37:59🔗 Drew This is the VCR part. That's what they have it there for.

38:01🔗 Adam Oh, is that what it is?

38:01🔗 Drew I think so.

38:02🔗 Adam What are you doing, packing tapes with you? Yeah, I don't know. You're going out to eat?

38:07🔗 Drew Actually, my kids have brought tapes.

38:09🔗 Adam Those kids. For now, the first with the tree house, now the tapes, the Disneyland 10 times a year. Drew, you better start getting those kids prepared for life. It's going to be a big step down once they get out of that fantasy land they're living in. Start preparing them. Want to send them to boot camp over at my house?

38:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

38:27🔗 Adam All right, forget that. That's not going to work. That's a horrible idea.

38:30🔗 Get on your knees, scumbag.

38:33🔗 Adam Yeah, get up at six. Forget getting up at six every morning. I'll just stay up until six every morning. I'll be in an extra bad mood when I go in the room, kick the door and start smacking the garbage can around with the toilet bowl brush or big wooden spoon in there. Yelling, Adam, your last easy day was yesterday. You don't care? All right. The Great Divide is the name of the CD. Also book out called The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes. Get all out as we speak. Willie embarking on a tour as well and we'll be coming to a town near you. www.willianelson.com is where you can find all the information. And speaking of Willie Nelson, let's talk to Brett who's 43. Brett.

39:15🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah. Good evening, Adam, Dr. Drew and especially Willie. How are you?

39:19🔗 Willie Nelson I'm fine thanks. How are you doing?

39:20🔗 Willie Nelson Oh, I'm doing well. I've been a long time fan of yours. When I lived in Texas, there was three shows of yours we had to catch every year. The 4th of July in Austin, New Year's Eve at the Summit in Austin, and then you do once a year this little show at Flora's Country Store down in Bandera.

39:38🔗 Willie Nelson John T. Flora's, right.

39:39🔗 Willie Nelson Remember that play?

39:40🔗 Willie Nelson Absolutely.

39:40🔗 Willie Nelson Oh, that's great. I got a question for you first. I want to let Adam know I got a solution for your coffee problem you're always talking about. There's a coffee maker where it just bruised right into a thermal carafe.

39:51🔗 Adam Yeah, I've seen those.

39:53🔗 Willie Nelson They're awesome. You just take the coffee outside. Anyway, Willie, you've been in the business, the music business, for so long. Yeah. What changes have you seen? And where do you see the direction going? And what's the chance for a young artist to make it in the business?

40:08🔗 Willie Nelson Well, we were talking about what would happen if guys like, you know, in country music, somebody like Hank Williams were to show up today, how much trouble would he have? And I think, you know, probably he might have a lot. Things have changed a lot since I went to Nashville. They're looking for different things. I'm not sure they're looking for the right things, you know, but they're looking for different things these days. But I've noticed that music travels in a cycle, and you start out with the good traditional stuff, and then you start watering it down, and first thing, you know, you don't have anything. But then it winds back around again, and supply and demand will get you back to the good stuff. So I would just advise you to keep doing what you're doing.

40:49🔗 Drew Where are we now in the cycle?

40:52🔗 Willie Nelson Right now, we're headed back to the good stuff.

40:54🔗 Willie Nelson Are we?

40:55🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

40:55🔗 Willie Nelson Great. What do you think of the modern country music now?

40:59🔗 Willie Nelson Well, some of it I like, you know, and I don't know. Some of it, again, doesn't really sound that country to me, because, you know, to me, country is a fiddle and a steel guitar. Oh, brother, where are the music now? To me, that's country. I think that's another indication of where the music is headed. I think a lot of the young people want to know where the roots are. They want to go back to the beginning and find out what they missed along the way and what brought not only country music, but all kind of music up to where it is right now.

41:33🔗 Willie Nelson Well, thank you, Willie. It's been a pleasure speaking with you.

41:35🔗 Willie Nelson Thank you.

41:36🔗 Willie Nelson And Adam, Dr. Drew, your screener, she sounds like a real hottie.

41:39🔗 Adam Yeah, she is. Pain in the ass, but good looking, this one. All right, Brett. Hey, thanks for the thermos carafe idea. The thermo carafe.

41:49🔗 Willie Nelson The coffee will never burn on you again.

41:51🔗 Drew Is this at the home or here?

41:52🔗 Adam Pick one up. I think he's talking about for home use.

41:55🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, well, you can brew your coffee and bring it in for the studio. The one that I've got will keep the coffee hot for four to six hours. Whatever.

42:03🔗 Adam All right.

42:06🔗 Willie Nelson All right.

42:06🔗 Adam And what do you like? You like a French roast or like a Colombian roast? What are you into, Brett?

42:11🔗 Willie Nelson I like any kind of coffee as long as it's hot and fresh.

42:14🔗 Adam Thank you there. Take care of yourself. Thanks for the coffee tip. I do like my coffee. And here's the problem with coffee. And this is really the problem with life. Once you guys say this, the problem with life, you treat yourself, you grow up, you know, my whole life, I'm swinging a hammer for a living, I'm going to 7-Eleven, I'm drinking the watered down crap, the kind of coffee where you can see four or five inches down into the cup before you lose the vision. And it's a bad 7-Eleven junk. I'm drinking on the way to work, seven in the morning with the cramping powder, non-dairy creamer in there and all that. Then I get a little older, I get a little money, I get a little refinement. So I get the whole bean, I get the grinder, I get the fresh cream, I get the whole thing. Now that's great, but I'm horribly disappointed everywhere else I go now. And this is what life is. Is this not life now?

43:03🔗 Willie Nelson It's trouble. It's all the way through. It's things like that.

43:06🔗 Adam Yes, whereas I used to, at a certain stage, look forward to the bad 7-Eleven stuff that I didn't know was bad at the time. Now it is ratcheted and it's destroyed my day if I have to do that.

43:15🔗 Willie Nelson Now Starbucks has just ruined everything.

43:19🔗 Adam Yeah, and that's what happened to country music too. I blame that on Starbucks as well.

43:24🔗 Willie Nelson Yes, I do too.

43:25🔗 Adam Well, is country music now, is the video screwed this up, that everyone has to be young and fresh-faced, and the guys have to have big arms, and the girls have to have a tight ass. I mean, has that been a part of it?

43:38🔗 Willie Nelson I think maybe so. It's marketing. They want someone that looks good in the video. So you're probably right, it does have a lot to do with it.

43:46🔗 Adam And maybe the attempt of... You know, it's interesting, and I'm trying to... You know, I guess all music does this, but country, you hear about it all the time, which is there's constantly these acts that are attempting to broaden the country audience by not doing country music. You know, it's sort of ironic. Like you're saying, well, Shania Twain, you know, she's gonna take, instead of the country audience, she's gonna get everyone into country music by not really playing country music.

44:14🔗 Willie Nelson Right, right.

44:14🔗 Adam So, so it becomes sort of a catch 22.

44:18🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

44:18🔗 Drew Is the Dixie Chick in that, in that sort of?

44:20🔗 Adam I like the Dixie Chicks in that, in that they may not be playing, it may be a little more pop than it is country, but they do a fair amount of country stuff. And those, those chicks play those instruments okay too.

44:30🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, they're good musicians. Absolutely.

44:33🔗 Adam And there's nothing sexier than a good looking blonde wailing away on a fiddle. And the other one playing like a cider jug or a wash tub or something. I can't remember what the other one was.

44:44🔗 Willie Nelson They're kind of sexy looking when they blow into those jugs.

44:46🔗 Drew And then they have to have those huge wind fans coming up from underneath them.

44:50🔗 Willie Nelson Blowing their dress up, yeah.

44:52🔗 Adam As they blow the jug, yeah. It's really, it's like Ellie May from Beverly Hillbillies. I used to love it. I loved it when Ellie May would handle them animals too. That's always nice too when a hot looking chick is herding pigs, you know. Get on, get in there. That's exciting.

45:11🔗 Drew A bunch of sheep.

45:12🔗 Willie Nelson Get in there and wait for me.

45:13🔗 Adam Ellie had a whole bunch of animals and you know, ponytails.

45:16🔗 Drew What is it about that rope waist belt?

45:19🔗 Adam That was hot too.

45:20🔗 Drew What is that?

45:21🔗 Adam Ellie had that rope. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But it was, it worked. It really did work. John?

45:29🔗 Yes.

45:29🔗 Adam You're 34?

45:30🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

45:30🔗 Adam The sad part is Ellie May is now 67, still got the rope belt and is doing the country fair scene. That's when it gets a little scary. John?

45:41🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

45:42🔗 Adam So 34, what's up?

45:44🔗 Caller Nothing much. Good evening. Willie Nelson.

45:47🔗 Willie Nelson Hello.

45:47🔗 Caller I just wanted to say a special shout out to you. I love The Great Divide. It's nice to see that the Sheryl Crowes, Kid Rocks and Rob Thomas's can give props to the original, the one and only Willie Nelson.

45:57🔗 Willie Nelson Thank you very much.

45:58🔗 Caller Because I had the opportunity and the pleasure of catching your show at a Riverboat Casino at the end of August up here in Washington State. And besides being a sellout, which goes without saying up here every time, the house was rocking and your singing and your playing has suffered none. So keep it going, keep that bus rolling, and we'll be out there for you, brother.

46:18🔗 Willie Nelson All right. Thanks.

46:18🔗 Drew John, you're going to have to hang on for a second for your questions.

46:21🔗 Caller All right. That's all right.

46:22🔗 Adam All right. Heaps of much praise on Willie. Couldn't get to his question. But that's fine because we'll take a little break. Willie Nelson will hang out with us. We'll get back with John's question after this. Okay. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that is Dr. Drew over there. Willie Nelson has been kind enough to join us in the studio. Tonight, The Great Divide is the name of the new CD out as we speak. And if you're wanting to see Willie, you can check him out, go to www.willianelson.com, and just find the date that I have all the tour dates on it, right, Willie?

47:57🔗 Willie Nelson Right.

47:57🔗 Adam Tell you where to find him. And now, Willie, are you on the road constantly?

48:04🔗 Willie Nelson Well, a couple of hundred days a year.

48:06🔗 Adam And has that been going on for your whole life, essentially?

48:10🔗 Willie Nelson Years and years and years, yeah.

48:11🔗 Adam And obviously, you want to do it. You don't, you need to do it. You don't need to do it at this point.

48:17🔗 Willie Nelson Well, maybe not financially, but I don't know. Maybe if I stopped and checked, I would need to do it financially. But I'm really doing it because I like it.

48:24🔗 Adam And it doesn't, what part of it do you like and what part of it don't you like?

48:33🔗 Willie Nelson Well, I have a family and it's difficult to be away that much from your family. So that's the worst part of the whole deal. But other than that, there's not that many negatives. It's all pretty nice. We travel in the nice busses, stay in good spots. And we're playing some of the good places and getting good crowds. So there's really not a lot of negatives, except being away from home.

48:58🔗 Adam Right. I've always, Drew, when we've spoken about this before, I've always been envious of musicians because you get on stage and you're doing what you want to do. I mean, it's almost a feeling that sort of, I don't know, transcends thought and that kind of thing, right? I mean, obviously, you got to know what you're doing. But, you know, I compare it to other jobs where you're on stage and you're sort of trying to think a step ahead. You remember your joke, remember your line, read the cue card or the teleprompter. Don't screw this up and don't screw that up. And to me, the musician, that just seems like a sense of freedom up there.

49:37🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, that's the couple hours a day where you don't have anything to worry about.

49:41🔗 Adam Yeah. And now, how much do you juggle the set? I mean, like, you know, you got the new CD. You'll be doing some new material.

49:51🔗 Willie Nelson Whatever is necessary or whenever I get tired of doing one, I'll take it out and put something else in. And when I get a new CD out, I'll have to do some of those.

50:00🔗 Adam Right. And it's got to be, is there ever any pressure, like for instance, a song that everyone wants you to play but you're tired of it or maybe you weren't in love with it in the first place?

50:14🔗 Willie Nelson No. The songs that are, you know, the most popular songs of the show are songs that I enjoy playing, like On The Road Again, Always On My Mind, Poncho and Lefty. I liked those songs a lot when I recorded them, Blue Eyes, Crying In The Rain. And I consciously try to record songs that if by some bizarre miracle, they were to become hits that I wouldn't get tired of singing them.

50:39🔗 Adam Right.

50:39🔗 Willie Nelson That it would be a song that I would enjoy singing.

50:41🔗 Adam And do you have that, well, in a way, I guess you answered it, but the follow up was going to be, if and there was a song that you weren't that into, but you knew the audience wanted to hear it, do you look at it as, I got to give them what they want, or I got to enjoy myself up there and keep it fresh?

50:59🔗 Willie Nelson Now, you remember the song, The Gambler, that Kenny Rogers had? I was offered that song first, and I was the one that mentioned to Kenny Rogers he should record it. I didn't want to record it because it's got too many verses in it. And I was already doing the Red Hitted Stranger, which has got a gang of verses in it, and I didn't, I just didn't, I thought the song was a hit song, but I just didn't want to have to do that one every night.

51:23🔗 Adam Right, because it would become a hit, and then you would be sort of burdened with it. Yeah, but you didn't know he'd get that TV series out of it. Two-parter, I think. The Gambler. Yeah, Drew, you remember that?

51:37🔗 Willie Nelson Oh, he made two or three movies out of it.

51:39🔗 Adam Yeah, then not to mention Six Pack, which is a totally different story. That was a Kenny Rogers movie where he played a NASCAR driver and had a ragtag group of kids like orphans. It probably wasn't as good an idea as the song The Gambler was, and I don't think there was a song called The Six Pack where he played a NASCAR driver, but we're seeing, Drew, run it for the kids, ragtag group of kids. Yeah, you know, the eight-year-olds who were master mechanics.

52:07🔗 Drew I'd like to be in that pitch. We'll call it The Six Pack.

52:10🔗 Adam We'll call it Six Pack. Kenny's name is Bruce or something. He's a washed-up old NASCAR driver. He's salty as all hell. He hates kids, but guess what? He gets saddled with six lovable orphans and he has to take them on the NASCAR circuit with him.

52:26🔗 Drew The love of the distance.

52:27🔗 Adam And the hijinks ensue.

52:28🔗 Caller Right.

52:28🔗 Adam They are out stealing manifolds at four in the morning while he's banging horns. It's a great hijinks. John?

52:36🔗 Caller Yes. Stoker Ace, the Burt Reynolds movie?

52:39🔗 Adam No. Stoker Ace was a different movie.

52:42🔗 Drew Same time frame. Same head.

52:45🔗 Caller A classic.

52:46🔗 Adam Right. Same idea. That had Stoker Ace, like Lonnie Anderson, and Jim Neighbors in it as his chief mechanic.

52:55🔗 Drew More evidence of the sheer genius of the 70s.

52:57🔗 Adam Well, I think that was probably a hell-need-em joint. He had a little juice back then coming off the gumball rallies, and the smoking the bandits, and just thought, let's get together with our buddies, get loaded, make a movie. We don't need a script.

53:09🔗 Caller No toupee problem.

53:10🔗 Drew No Dom Bellwiz.

53:11🔗 Adam Dom was it? Yeah, I believe Dom was it.

53:13🔗 Drew Of course, he had to be it.

53:14🔗 Adam All right, John, so your question then was?

53:17🔗 Caller My question, well, to give you a little background, I haven't been dating in quite some time, and when I finally met someone, and we were approaching it slow, there was quite a bit of talking and all, and the reason why I hadn't dated for almost four years was my fiance was killed in a car accident, and explaining this to this woman that I met at my sister's wedding, I think she'd understand the importance of honesty and everything else, and about, well, long story short, about after a month of talking and getting to know each other, we started a sexual relationship. After about 10 encounters within a week's time, she informed me quite surprisingly that she had herpes, and was still a carrier, of course, and at the time I was taking antibiotics for an infection I had received on the job, and a cut I had received. And I was wondering, it's been about four months now, and I haven't experienced any of the signs, any of the telltale signs.

54:24🔗 Adam All right. Well, we know what your question is now.

54:26🔗 Drew You didn't get it.

54:27🔗 Adam Well, let's ask a couple of ones. How long ago did your fiancé pass away?

54:31🔗 Caller It was almost four years ago, three years and nine months.

54:34🔗 Adam And how, are you able to get over that?

54:39🔗 Caller I was able to mourn her without feeling jealous about dating anyone. So, yes, I believe I was.

54:45🔗 Adam All right. And what about this one with the herpes?

54:49🔗 Drew You mean guilty, not jealous, right?

54:50🔗 Caller Well, I'm sorry, guilty.

54:52🔗 Adam And now this new girl, are you still with her?

54:56🔗 Caller No, no.

54:57🔗 Adam You broke up because of this?

54:59🔗 Caller It's, well, it was a nice, let's just say, first time out since my fiancee passed away. It really was a shocker, not only to see that somebody, give it up to women, they're getting more ruthless than men.

55:15🔗 Drew Did you wear a condom the whole time with her?

55:17🔗 Caller No, I did not.

55:18🔗 Adam That's why he's calling.

55:19🔗 Drew I was just asking, how freaked out he is.

55:21🔗 Adam But wait a second, John, not that she should win any awards for this, but she did tell you and she was probably, I understand that it was probably some kind of quandary she was in, but she probably liked you and wanted the relationship to keep going and sort of put it off. She was scared that she might scare you away. I mean, one could interpret it that way, not that she was attempting to give you a disease. Do you know what I'm saying?

55:49🔗 Caller Yeah, or you can interpret it the way that you've been drinking this lemonade all week, and now guess what we put in it. If it was me, I would have informed her before we even proceed.

56:00🔗 Drew But the manner in which you describe her sort of demeanor as sort of devilishly trying to poison you is frankly paranoid. So if you're paranoid, you need to check that out.

56:17🔗 Adam Well, yeah, so what's up, John? I mean, I understand this was... You were traumatized by what happened with your fiancee, but...

56:25🔗 Caller I understand. Well...

56:26🔗 Adam Do you think this girl had it in for you?

56:28🔗 Caller No, all of that aside, and I don't believe she had it in for me, basically the question is...

56:33🔗 Drew But he's considered it.

56:34🔗 Caller Can I have avoided... Did I dodge a bullet by taking antibiotics?

56:37🔗 Drew No, that had nothing to do with it.

56:38🔗 Adam No, you just dodged a bullet by dodging a bullet.

56:41🔗 Drew You don't get herpes every time you have contact with someone who carries that virus. The risks are much higher if they have an outbreak. It's earlier on in the course of their illness. They have more viral shedding. So it's one of those things.

56:53🔗 Adam But back to the bitter part, John. Now that we've decided that you've successfully dodged the herpes bullet, you then broke up with her.

57:03🔗 Caller I then told her that it would probably be best if we cooled the relationship down, yeah.

57:09🔗 Adam And so you broke up. Were you in love with her?

57:13🔗 Caller No, no, not at all.

57:14🔗 Adam You had no interest in her, really.

57:16🔗 Caller There was the attraction, of course, and everything else. And basically, yeah, I was just, you know, starting to get out there and play the field again.

57:26🔗 Drew All right.

57:26🔗 Adam So this was just getting your getting your feet wet, you know, back in the game.

57:31🔗 Caller Trying to get my bearings, yeah.

57:33🔗 Drew Next time you wear a condom, that's what the lesson is here.

57:36🔗 Adam All right, all right.

57:37🔗 Drew That's what it is, because somebody's going to have herpes and somebody's going to have warts and not even know it. And you're going to come in contact with them.

57:43🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm just worried. I don't want you to go through life sort of bitter, bitter and sort of paranoid and, you know, damaged. You find somebody, right?

57:52🔗 Caller Not so much bitter as if somebody who professes to care for you as much can put you in the position that they do.

57:58🔗 Adam Well, that is, you cannot, you can't get around this. I mean, what we're, what we're saying and, and repeating is, is she probably had an interest in you and was probably scared that she would scare you away.

58:14🔗 Drew And ashamed and.

58:14🔗 Adam And ashamed. And ambivalent. And had ambivalent and probably hated herself the first X amount of times you guys did it, knowing that you were potentially in harm's way. And then eventually mustered the courage to tell you. Why is that perceived as, as almost an attack by you?

58:33🔗 Caller It's, it's not really perceived as an attack. I believe you're right. You know, she probably was holding off because she was ashamed.

58:40🔗 Adam Okay, so why?

58:41🔗 Caller I don't think that anybody would want to know.

58:43🔗 Drew Not ashamed, but that she really liked you and wanted to maintain the relationship and was scared this information would scare you off, which it did. And, and I'm not condoning what you did. She should have told you sooner.

58:54🔗 Adam There's no doubt about it. I have warts. Right.

58:56🔗 Drew However, we're just sort of explaining why you're reacting so negatively to...

59:02🔗 Adam It's just, it's just a bad way to go through life.

59:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:04🔗 Adam That's all I'm saying. All right, John, I mean, just assume she was madly in love with you, and that's why she didn't tell you earlier.

59:10🔗 Caller I'd like to assume that, but...

59:11🔗 Adam All right. I kept trouble digging into a guy whose fiancée was killed tragically, but Jesus Christ, John's got some energy, man, and it is bad, and it's going to keep him out of the dating scene for quite some time with that. And the other thing I can't figure out quite about John's vibe is something tragic happened to his fiancée, but it shouldn't muster this bitterness in him. He should be sort of hurt, maybe angry at God kind of thing, but where's the cynicism and the anger come from?

59:49🔗 Drew It didn't come from her dying.

59:51🔗 Adam You're guessing it was around before that. But a big Willie Nelson fan, so you've got to have something going for him. Willie, all your fans that bitter, that sceptical.

1:00:01🔗 Willie Nelson All of them, yeah.

1:00:02🔗 Drew We'll explain that.

1:00:04🔗 Adam Dennis, you're 20.

1:00:06🔗 Caller Yeah, bud. What's up, Dr. Drew, Adam. Hey. Willie, I just wanted to tell you, man, I had a great aunt that passed away probably about seven years ago. Anyway, she was a really big fan of yours back in the 70s. She had her picture taken with her and stuff like that. Anyway, you made a really big impact on her life. When she would get depressed, she'd pop on a Willie vinyl and it'd be all good. And she'd be happy again. And my Uncle Bob, he hasn't been the same since my Aunt Louise died. And what he does, though, to cope with it is that he takes out one of the vinyls and puts it on the record player and plays it. And I just wanted to thank you, Willie, you know, for making such an impact on my Aunt and Uncle, you know, that, you know, that your music lifts up their spirits and, you know, makes them happy. And I just wanted to thank you for being a songwriter and making a difference in my Uncle and Aunt's life.

1:01:18🔗 Willie Nelson Well, that's very nice of you. Thank you.

1:01:20🔗 Caller No problem.

1:01:20🔗 Adam Thanks, Dennis.

1:01:21🔗 Caller Hey, no problem. And hey, Dr. Drew, I had a quick question for you.

1:01:25🔗 Drew Yeah, go ahead.

1:01:26🔗 Caller I love these transitions. I just wanted to know, I was at my sister's house, not too well, it was this past weekend, and she has gonorrhea, and I just wanted to know if that could possibly be spread by contact, like sitting on a toilet seat.

1:01:41🔗 Drew No, that is not. You've got to have sex with her to contract it.

1:01:45🔗 Adam Oh, that was his next question. He pulled out.

1:01:48🔗 Is there still?

1:01:49🔗 Drew Got to wear a condom, got to wear a condom. Why don't we hear a Willie Nelson song? On that fine note, the gonorrhea.

1:01:54🔗 Willie Nelson You got to wear a condom. That's my next one.

1:01:57🔗 Drew No, it's good. We'll play all the time.

1:02:01🔗 Adam Yeah, how about a nice safe sex PSA from Willie Nelson, singing about the condoms in the morning after.

1:02:07🔗 Willie Nelson Put on them boots.

1:02:09🔗 Drew On the chode again.

1:02:12🔗 Adam Yeah, the condom, it could be sung from the condom standpoint.

1:02:16🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

1:02:17🔗 Adam On the chode again. Just can't wait to be rolled on down that chode again. Or I can have sex with them hookers and sleep like a baby all night. Yeah, on the chode again. That's nice, Drew. I don't know if the people out of Southern California know that chode is the Spanish slang for the penis, but I guess I explained it. All right. This next one is with a guy by the name of Kid Rock off of Willie Nelson's new CD, The Great Divine. Here it is. Willie Nelson, everybody, along with Kid Rock, and another good one from Willie's new CD, The Great Divide, which is out as we speak. Willie Nelson is in studio tonight, helping us out with these calls and answering your questions. And let's take one for Willie before we go to break. Dan?

1:07:49🔗 Drew Something's sleeping. Danny there?

1:07:52🔗 Yeah.

1:07:52🔗 Drew There he is.

1:07:53🔗 Adam What's up there, Dan? You're 36.

1:07:55🔗 Caller Unacceptable. Yeah, I'm just calling, say, a big fan of Willie Nelson's this evening, and it's good to hear him on Two Best Truck Show Radio guys, being a first-time crawler.

1:08:06🔗 Adam Well, thanks.

1:08:07🔗 Caller Hey, no problem. And this question is for Drew, and that is, and Willie, if he's got any input on it, and that is, what would you say would be, if he's heard of any studies or anything of that nature on marijuana smoking or tobacco or anything being done out of, let's say, a Texas Torpedo versus a water piper?

1:08:30🔗 Drew What's a Texas Torpedo?

1:08:31🔗 Adam That's a black man's penis.

1:08:33🔗 Drew Okay.

1:08:35🔗 Adam I don't know. A Texas Torpedo must just be a pipe, right?

1:08:38🔗 Caller No, like a rolled cigarette.

1:08:41🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Oh, that's a joint. That's a joint. Okay.

1:08:43🔗 Caller Willie knows that. You can ask him.

1:08:45🔗 Drew I know of no evidence that makes any difference. In terms of lung problems, no.

1:08:51🔗 Caller What about it?

1:08:51🔗 Adam Why not? It's nicer.

1:08:53🔗 Drew It's maybe a little less harsh, but in terms of the problems of, let's say, take tobacco, for instance, you're not going to prevent lung cancer by taking it through water.

1:09:02🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:09:03🔗 Drew No. Nor are you going to get caught. The people get chronic bronchitis, and that's from, again, the irritation of the smoke, and the smoke is still going.

1:09:10🔗 Adam Willie, are you a bong man or a torpedo man? I see you as a torpedo man.

1:09:15🔗 Willie Nelson Well, it's, you know, through the years, it's been one of different things, but it's just easier to roll one up sometime, you know, rather than have to foo with a lot of equipment.

1:09:27🔗 Adam Yeah. Not for me. I look like a Get Smarter Inspector Clouseau trying to roll a joint, stuff pours on my tongue and fingers. You know the part I don't like about, a guy rolled a joint when I was in New Orleans last week. You know, you always watch a guy, like a guy who's good at it. There's something intriguing about a guy who really knows his business.

1:09:47🔗 Willie Nelson And puts filters on him.

1:09:48🔗 Adam Got it laid out, he's working on it. He does that thing where he connects two papers together to make the big one. But at the very end, he does this move. That turns me off just a little bit, then immediately sparks it up. That's the move where he's done rolling the joint, now he's going to seal it by taking the entire joint, putting it in his mouth, and then just dragging it right across his lips and tongue on the way out. To me, he might as well just put it up his ass at that point. I just think, all right, don't worry, you'll be behind a minute, you might be focusing on it. But that last...

1:10:22🔗 Caller Or you will.

1:10:23🔗 Adam Or I'll be fixating on it. I'll actually see the microbes attacking my white blood cells as I lie back on the sofa. But it's that last move. I don't mind the tongue along the top, you know, the lick move, but it's that... And I don't know if everyone does that. Willie, does that have to be done?

1:10:40🔗 Willie Nelson I don't think that has to be done. I haven't really seen that. You know, I would be a little afraid to...

1:10:46🔗 Drew That's a valley move, Adam.

1:10:47🔗 Willie Nelson Oh, really?

1:10:49🔗 Adam You would call that then poor joint etiquette?

1:10:51🔗 Willie Nelson I would think so, yeah. I would think that would be a rude ending.

1:10:56🔗 Adam Right, but who's going to roll the joint with Willie in the room? I mean, obviously you would defer to Willie, obviously the honor would go to Willie. So you don't have to worry about some jackass doing the whole sucking and lick thing right in front of you. But that's that last move. It puts everyone off. And everyone in the room was talking amongst themselves and not paying attention. But I saw that move and it was like in slow motion to me.

1:11:18🔗 It was like...

1:11:22🔗 Adam You got to get saliva on it or it's not worth doing. That's the whole thing. So why not just invent one of those? You ever use one of those joint rollers? Those are nice.

1:11:31🔗 Willie Nelson Those are nice, yeah.

1:11:32🔗 Adam Drew, you use a joint roller?

1:11:33🔗 Drew No, I can't say I haven't.

1:11:34🔗 Adam I'll tell you, it rolls a tight joint. It looks like a little non-filtered cigarette, but it's very nice. But let me say this, too. Here's what I would say to our caller, Dan, because he's calling about the joint. Right. See, the thing about the smoking it through a bong, it may cut out the harshness. Maybe it's a little easier on the lungs, but you can take in that much more. Therefore, it probably has diminishing returns.

1:12:01🔗 Drew It's worse on the brain.

1:12:02🔗 Adam Right. Right. And Willie, let's talk about podcast a little bit more. Have you noticed the potency of this stuff going up over the last 10, 20 years?

1:12:12🔗 Willie Nelson Yes, I have. That's one of the first things I've noticed.

1:12:17🔗 Adam I mean, Jesus Christ, 30 years ago.

1:12:20🔗 Willie Nelson And the price. How about the price of the potency?

1:12:22🔗 Adam Well that's true.

1:12:23🔗 Willie Nelson It's higher than gold now.

1:12:25🔗 Adam Yeah, it is. It is higher than gold, isn't it?

1:12:29🔗 Drew Lids to ounces.

1:12:30🔗 Adam Yeah, maybe Willie can answer.

1:12:33🔗 Willie Nelson An ounce of gold is cheaper than an ounce of pot.

1:12:37🔗 Adam Where does the term lid come from? Do you remember when you would score a lid of weed in 1974?

1:12:43🔗 Willie Nelson Or a matchbox. Do you remember the matchboxes?

1:12:45🔗 Adam No, I don't remember those. That was an amount?

1:12:48🔗 Willie Nelson That was those little penny box matches, you know, that you'd buy a penny box of matches and empty it out and fill it up.

1:12:55🔗 Adam Right, so that would be like an eighth or something smaller than that now. But do you remember what amount a lid was? Because we could never figure it out. Like where the lid came from and what amount it was.

1:13:06🔗 Willie Nelson I think that was like...

1:13:09🔗 Drew Why that term?

1:13:11🔗 Willie Nelson Why do they call it a lid? I don't know for me, I don't know.

1:13:13🔗 Adam Nobody seems to have the answer.

1:13:15🔗 Drew We had some guy call, remember?

1:13:16🔗 Adam People speculate, but it's never quite satisfying enough. Because they say like the lid of a shoe box and stuff. But that's too much because a lid is a small amount. A lid would be the equivalent to getting an eighth or a quarter or something.

1:13:31🔗 Willie Nelson I would think a lid would be equivalent to a match box.

1:13:34🔗 Adam Right. All right, someone's got to figure that lid out. Maybe it was the lid of a chewing tobacco container or something.

1:13:39🔗 Drew Or a coffee can or something.

1:13:41🔗 Adam All right, we'll work this out. Willie Nelson is our guest tonight, and we'll take a little break. We'll be back for more questions after this. Hey, everybody, Loveline.

1:14:22🔗 Caller I'm Adam Corolla.

1:14:22🔗 Adam That is Dr. Drew over there. The great Willie Nelson is our guest tonight. Talking a little politics with Willie during the break, and Willie complaining that we should just get our oil domestically, but I would question Willie for driving all over the goddamn place in that big bus of his and burning all of it.

1:14:45🔗 Caller That's what I'm saying.

1:14:46🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, we burn our share.

1:14:47🔗 Adam You need an electric bus.

1:14:49🔗 Willie Nelson A wind driven. You need a solar.

1:14:52🔗 Adam A schooner. A schooner.

1:14:53🔗 Willie Nelson A schooner.

1:14:54🔗 Adam A schooner. A land yacht. All right. We will now talk to Martin, who's 18. Martin?

1:15:03🔗 Oh, what's up?

1:15:03🔗 Adam What's up?

1:15:05🔗 I know what a lid is and how much it is and what the word came from.

1:15:08🔗 Adam All right, go.

1:15:10🔗 It's an ounce of weed and it comes from... They used to have these coffee cans in the 60s or something. That's what my dad said anyway. And when you filled up the can, it was called a can. It's a pound and the lid part of it was equal to an ounce.

1:15:24🔗 Drew Yeah, they just put... I remember the lid.

1:15:27🔗 Adam All right. We're down with that now. The lid comes from the coffee can and a lid is an ounce.

1:15:33🔗 Yeah.

1:15:33🔗 Drew Roughly.

1:15:34🔗 Caller Okay, you guys kick ass and so does Willie there.

1:15:36🔗 Drew All right, Martin, thanks.

1:15:37🔗 Caller Thanks, bye.

1:15:37🔗 Adam Thank you. Willie, you know who has the best weed? It's rappers.

1:15:41🔗 Willie Nelson Do they?

1:15:42🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, Be Real from Cypress Hill. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's good weed. They have to. You know what I mean? It's a letdown to everyone around them. They give them some skunky weed.

1:15:56🔗 Willie Nelson I guess so. You're expected to have the best.

1:15:58🔗 Adam Yeah, they raise the bar real high by singing about weed all the time. Now people expect them to come through. It'd be very disappointing if a snoop handed you a baggie with a bunch of stems and leaves and seeds in it.

1:16:10🔗 Caller You go, what the hell's up with this?

1:16:12🔗 Adam Yeah, so the pressure's on the wrappers.

1:16:14🔗 Caller That's what I'm saying.

1:16:15🔗 Willie Nelson Well, I'll keep that in mind as I travel around.

1:16:17🔗 Caller Yeah, good.

1:16:18🔗 Adam Yeah, ask the wrappers.

1:16:20🔗 Willie Nelson Eric?

1:16:21🔗 Caller Hey, guys.

1:16:21🔗 Caller What's going on?

1:16:22🔗 Adam You're 29. What's up?

1:16:23🔗 Yeah, listen, my question was a real one, but I got another problem. It's really much more serious. I've been to a lot of doctors and I haven't found any relief. I'd like to ask Dr. Drew about that. All right, go. Over the last 15 years, actually, I've had a progressive deterioration of my memory, and it's gotten pretty bad. I started off having an exceptional memory, almost photographic, and now I literally just can't find my way home. I'll do a report and two days later I'll start to do it again, because I forgot, you know, I forgot I did it.

1:16:52🔗 Drew Wow.

1:16:53🔗 And it's bad. And the funny thing is that if I get high, and I get high very rarely, very rarely, then I can remember. And I can even remember stuff from the past. I can remember short term, long term.

1:17:09🔗 Drew You get high with pot.

1:17:10🔗 Yeah.

1:17:11🔗 Drew And what, do you have any history with speed or ecstasy or anything like that?

1:17:14🔗 Very light in college, you know, I would do something to stay up and study for tests and so on like that.

1:17:19🔗 Drew Any other drugs?

1:17:21🔗 No, no acid. Just the only two drugs I've done is speed and marijuana.

1:17:25🔗 Drew And how often did you do the speed?

1:17:28🔗 I don't know, once every couple of weeks.

1:17:30🔗 Drew For how long?

1:17:33🔗 I don't know. I can't remember.

1:17:35🔗 Drew Yeah, because speed is the drug that will do it. Speed can damage memory.

1:17:39🔗 Adam But Drew, what's the difference between memory and focus? Concentration, yeah.

1:17:44🔗 Drew This is memory, where you get lost.

1:17:48🔗 Adam But when he gets high, he regains his focus, I would say. He's able to focus more, maybe.

1:17:53🔗 Drew Maybe he's less anxious or something.

1:17:55🔗 In a way, I agree with what Adam is saying, because the funny thing is, when I get stoned, I can remember stuff from the past too, and so it allows me almost to recover the memories.

1:18:05🔗 Adam Well, me too. I can remember being the Super Bowl MVP, and winning the Indy 500, and at Custer's last stand. I remember all those places I was at when I got good and stoned.

1:18:16🔗 Drew The quality with which he's describing it.

1:18:17🔗 Adam Bringing the Statue of Liberty over here to this country, all the things, all the events of my life.

1:18:22🔗 Drew More substantial. Anything else neurologically, Eric? Any weakness in muscles?

1:18:26🔗 No. Physically, I'm as fit as I can be, and the funny thing is, the deterioration has continued even though my drug use has gone to zero.

1:18:34🔗 Drew Any family history of neurologic problems?

1:18:38🔗 Nothing that really expressed itself, although my dad seems equally scattered.

1:18:42🔗 Drew Did you go see a neurologist?

1:18:43🔗 I've been to neurologists, I've been to psychiatrists, I've been to every type of professional.

1:18:48🔗 Drew Did they ever do a thing where they collect your urine and send it off to a children's hospital and look for metabolic byproducts?

1:18:55🔗 Caller To a children's hospital?

1:18:56🔗 Drew Well, there are disorders of metabolism that are more common in children, at least they're sort of associated with childhood, and those are the institutions that have the laboratory set up to detect these things. There's something called metachromatic leukoencephalopathies.

1:19:09🔗 I'm writing as fast as I can, but that's a big word.

1:19:12🔗 Drew Metachromatic leukoencephalopathies, which are? Metachromatic leukoencephalopathies, which are basically inherited disorders of metabolism that causes by-products of amino acid metabolism to accumulate and damage the brain. I would look into that kind of thing. You want to go to a university setting and talk to a neurologist who has an interest in this area, because this is something that would take a lot of work to really nail down. It's highly unusual what you're describing.

1:19:41🔗 Caller Really? Yeah.

1:19:44🔗 Adam Someone else has a theory on the lid.

1:19:46🔗 Drew You want to let it go?

1:19:48🔗 Adam We'll save it for Sam. I want to talk to this kid who was playing Truth or Dare over here. I remember those days. How long has Truth or Dare been around? Willie, did you have Truth or Dare growing up? Sure.

1:19:59🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

1:20:00🔗 Drew Probably centuries.

1:20:01🔗 Willie Nelson Truth or consequences, pleased or displeased, all those shows.

1:20:06🔗 Adam No, I mean like with the kids.

1:20:08🔗 Drew Parties.

1:20:09🔗 Adam Parties, like with the girls.

1:20:10🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:20:11🔗 Adam Oh, really? Steve?

1:20:13🔗 Drew He was married by the time he was 16, don't forget Adam.

1:20:15🔗 Caller That's true.

1:20:17🔗 Adam I guess Dare was getting married at 16, right? Steve?

1:20:21🔗 Yeah, what's up?

1:20:21🔗 Adam So you're 16. You're playing some Truth or Dare?

1:20:24🔗 Caller Yeah. The other night I'm at this party and I get dared to kiss this girl. I just met her that night. It was just like a peck on the lips. I get dared to kiss her twice. She's a sweet girl, really cute. I couldn't manage it myself. She kept telling me I'm a good kisser the rest of the night. It was a peck and I couldn't manage myself to kiss her back or hook up with her. I couldn't understand what was wrong.

1:20:47🔗 Adam Well, she was saying you were a good kisser later on after the game?

1:20:52🔗 Caller Yeah, she was totally flirting with me. I couldn't like...

1:20:55🔗 Drew You're gay. No, no. I can so relate to this at that age. I just remember being paralyzed. It's like you don't have a repertoire. It's like you want to do something and it just can't happen because you just don't have the mechanism. It's just nothing there. You reach into your bag of tricks and it's empty and you just sit there.

1:21:16🔗 Adam Yeah, we don't even have a bag of tricks at that age.

1:21:18🔗 Drew That's the point. It's empty.

1:21:20🔗 Adam Yeah, plus you're not loaded, right? You're sober.

1:21:23🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm totally sober.

1:21:24🔗 Adam Yeah, that's always rough too. I wouldn't even know what to do around it. I don't recognize people when they're sober.

1:21:28🔗 Drew Of course not.

1:21:29🔗 Caller But the thing is I'm usually not like that.

1:21:31🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:21:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:32🔗 Drew This was this one. Was this one special to you in some way?

1:21:35🔗 Caller Not really. Like, I just met her that night.

1:21:37🔗 Drew Were you really into her, though?

1:21:39🔗 Caller Not particularly. She was cute.

1:21:41🔗 Drew She was sweet, you know? You just froze. You're just one of those experiences.

1:21:45🔗 Caller I guess.

1:21:47🔗 Adam Well, so what do you want?

1:21:48🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:21:49🔗 Adam Well, are you going to get another crack at her?

1:21:52🔗 Caller I'm going to see her kind of soon, I guess.

1:21:54🔗 Adam You are?

1:21:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:55🔗 Adam All right. Well, you know she's India, so just don't screw it up this time. Yeah.

1:22:01🔗 Drew I don't understand the question.

1:22:02🔗 Adam He doesn't have a question. Hey, Steve.

1:22:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:05🔗 Adam Just don't screw up next time, all right?

1:22:07🔗 Caller I won't.

1:22:08🔗 Adam And don't talk too much. It took me 35 years to figure out women don't like the talking. I get Willie Smarty, lets his guitar do his talking.

1:22:19🔗 Willie Nelson Put a melody to it.

1:22:20🔗 Adam Yeah. It's smart. It's, you know, they were always talking about how much they love a sense of humor and all that. No, no, they don't at all. They should have learned to play an instrument. And the guitar is good. Much better. You know, we had our radio agent come in here the other night, Bob Eatman. What was he bringing? A French horn? Yeah. That almost hurts you. You get laid less if you can play a French horn than not playing any instrument at all. You know, what kind of idiot plays the French horn? Why don't you just cut your nuts off? What are you doing with that French horn?

1:22:55🔗 Drew We thought it was cool.

1:22:56🔗 Adam We were just being nice. Weren't we? Oh, you weren't? You liked it. He was showing his French horn off and I was thinking, why are you playing a French horn for? That's not going to do you any good. You're a geek, you're in the band, you're in the fifth row in the back, you got some fat tuba player in front of you. No one ever got an ounce of a punetang from playing a French horn, whereas guitar, it can't be measured. It's off the scale.

1:23:22🔗 Drew What are the reasons they're there to pick up an instrument?

1:23:24🔗 Adam That's right. Thank you, Drew. You're finally seeing things the way I see things. Smart. When did you pick up that guitar? When I was six years old. I don't know. I know you got your guitar. Has that guitar been with you for 40 years?

1:23:41🔗 Willie Nelson The one I have. Triggers.

1:23:44🔗 Adam Yeah. With the hole in it and everything?

1:23:46🔗 Willie Nelson 30 something years.

1:23:48🔗 Adam What do you think? Is it irreplaceable? I mean, do you have a couple of triggers?

1:23:55🔗 Willie Nelson No. Well, there are some replicas, but there's no other guitar that I get that sound out of. It's got a very special sound.

1:24:03🔗 Drew How'd the hole get there?

1:24:04🔗 Adam It wore it in.

1:24:04🔗 Willie Nelson Well, it's a classical guitar and you're not supposed to use a pick. There's no pick guard on there.

1:24:10🔗 Adam So over the years, you just wore a hole in it with the pick?

1:24:13🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

1:24:14🔗 Adam Now, what do you do to safeguard trigger?

1:24:17🔗 Willie Nelson Well, I keep it with me all the time. As far as the hole itself, I've had to reinforce the inside of the guitar a couple of times.

1:24:28🔗 Adam Does a rock and roll hall of fame or the Smithsonian or anybody in contact with you and said can we have trigger?

1:24:36🔗 Willie Nelson Oh, yeah. I've been asked for it, but no.

1:24:40🔗 Adam No? Not going to give it up? What if you wanted to sell it on eBay? What do you think?

1:24:45🔗 Willie Nelson That's different. No, it's not for sale.

1:24:48🔗 Adam All right. But Willie, let's do something where we get just like a $99 guitar over the guitar center.

1:24:53🔗 Willie Nelson Just put a hole in it.

1:24:53🔗 Adam I wear it out pretty good and you call it trigger, and we make ourselves a mint on eBay.

1:24:57🔗 Willie Nelson Now you're talking. I can dig this.

1:25:00🔗 Adam You better start working in a backup is all I'm saying in case something happens.

1:25:06🔗 Willie Nelson I figure we'll wear out about the same time.

1:25:08🔗 Adam All right. It looks like you'd like to just catch on fire and fall apart at any time. You know, in Dukes of Hazzard, it wasn't just a one car. They had a bunch of cars.

1:25:17🔗 Willie Nelson Every week they had a bunch of cars.

1:25:19🔗 Adam But they had the General Lee, but what they did is they had a couple of replicas. That's all I'm saying.

1:25:24🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, well, I don't jump rivers in that guitar.

1:25:26🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. All right. I'm sorry. And you're right. As long as you're not trying to outrun Boss Hogg in your guitar, I guess it's all right then. We'll take a little break. Willie Nelson is our guest tonight. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, oh, forget about that phone number. We don't have enough time for your calls anymore. The Great Willie Nelson is here. Willie's CD is called The Great Divide, and that is currently out. Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes is the name of the book, and that is out. And also another endeavor close to Willie's heart is his own brand of whiskey. It's called the Old Whiskey River. And is this your, how does this work? I had a sip of it, and it is very smooth, six-year-old whiskey.

1:26:46🔗 Caller Where's my bourbon?

1:26:47🔗 Adam How does that work? And what's the difference between bourbon and whiskey? Is there a difference?

1:26:51🔗 Willie Nelson Well, there's bourbon and there's scotch, and yeah, there is a difference. I'm not technically minded enough to tell you how they make them, but there is a difference. This is Kentucky bourbon.

1:27:05🔗 Adam And it's nice because as I was commenting to Willie, earlier off the air, that it's got one of those old-time medicine bottles, like a...

1:27:14🔗 Willie Nelson Hip flask. Kind of a half-pipe.

1:27:16🔗 Adam Yeah. You can keep it in your... it would fit nicely into the breast pocket of an old beat-up drinking blazer or something like that, or into the boot, as Willie pointed out as well.

1:27:28🔗 Willie Nelson One time, me and a friend of mine were going to make a lot of money, so we pooled our paycheck and went down to a wet county. We were in a dry county. We went down to a wet county and bought 19 half-pints of whiskey, and the cheapest whiskey we could find and took it back up to our dry county. And we wound up selling one half-pint and drinking the rest of it.

1:27:50🔗 Adam What year do you reckon that was?

1:27:53🔗 Willie Nelson That was probably around 55.

1:27:57🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. That... I mean, you just... As a government, during Prohibition, you had to just know you were asking for it. I mean, didn't you? You're going to cut this country off the booze? Really? You're really... You're surprised that folks are whipping up stuff in the bathtub and putting stills up in the mountains? That's really surprising you, huh? Anyway, I had a swig off of this. Drew has sworn off the stuff since he went after his wife with one of them meat tenderizing hammers last time he got on the whiskey. But I had a shot of this old whiskey river and it was delightful, smooth. Didn't even have to back it up with a swig of coffee or a bottled water. Dave?

1:28:42🔗 Caller Yes?

1:28:43🔗 Adam You're 21?

1:28:44🔗 Caller I'm 21 years old, yes.

1:28:46🔗 Adam All right, so you've been dating for three years.

1:28:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:49🔗 Adam And you think your girlfriend is bored with sex?

1:28:52🔗 I think so.

1:28:53🔗 Caller She doesn't like to have sex with me very often.

1:28:56🔗 The other issue is that she was raped once and she won't talk to anybody about it. And one night a couple of weeks ago, she got really drunk and she started crying about it. And this was years ago. I didn't even realize that it was an issue anymore.

1:29:10🔗 Drew Well, it of course would always be an issue to her. Whether or not it's the reason she slowly has declined her sexual interest to you, I have my doubts. I would look more carefully at whether or not this relationship is still working. Because when a woman starts pulling away that way, it usually means something's going on emotionally. Either you're not giving her what she needs emotionally, or the relationship just isn't where she wants it to be.

1:29:36🔗 Adam But don't, don't, you see, what guys do is they focus on the sex, but the sex is really just a byproduct of what they're pissed off about.

1:29:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:44🔗 Adam I mean, here's what guys do. They're like, we're having great sex. Now we're not having as much sex, or we're having bad sex.

1:29:51🔗 Drew I must be doing something wrong.

1:29:52🔗 Adam I must focus on the sex. Whereas women work a little differently. They may be upset about something else. Maybe you're not listening to them. Maybe you're not paying attention to them. So then the sex gets screwed up, but it's not the sex that's screwed up. It's whatever their emotional state is that's screwed up. Willie, you've had four wives. You know them right.

1:30:09🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah, you're absolutely right.

1:30:11🔗 Adam Thank you, Willie. I put that on a cart. Thank you. This poor guy's been on hold for 72 minutes. He wants to know about On The Road again. Brandon?

1:30:22🔗 I'm here.

1:30:22🔗 Adam You're 23. What's up?

1:30:24🔗 Caller 23. How are you doing, Willie?

1:30:26🔗 Willie Nelson Hey, Brandon. What's happening?

1:30:27🔗 Caller I'm doing pretty good.

1:30:29🔗 Caller First of all, you rock and you've been a role model for me for ever since I can remember some faint memories of being at a concert with my parents and just watching you play. Anyway, I did have a question for you. I've been playing guitar for about 14 years and when it comes to writing songs, I'm not the greatest at writing songs, but I do have a pretty good ability to play the guitar and read music and sing. But I was just wondering if you have a certain mindset or any type of thinking you try and get yourself into before you sit down and try and actually write a song.

1:31:05🔗 Willie Nelson Well, it varies, but most of the time, if I really want to write something and force myself to write something, I can sometimes get in my car and drive down the road by myself on the highway where it's just me. I'll come more near of writing something if I'm by myself than I will if I'm around. On the bus, it's hard to write. And then I think I have a tendency sometime to be too critical of what I'm writing now as to pose what I used to write. So I think if you just want to write, go ahead and write and just sit down and write what you're thinking. I think everybody's got at least one song in them.

1:31:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:31:48🔗 Drew If you should get out of your own way.

1:31:49🔗 Willie Nelson Yeah.

1:31:51🔗 Adam I got the Vagina song.

1:31:53🔗 Drew Oh yeah, that was a good one.

1:31:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:31:54🔗 Willie Nelson How's that go?

1:31:55🔗 Adam Maybe one, who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina, the old vagina. I know what goes. I start laughing halfway into it. It never ends up working out. But born gay. Oh, that's another song. The life is to live gay. Well, maybe I got two good ones in me. Or at least two halves that make one good one. That's what I think I have. Like you say, everyone's got one good song. I have a thirty second, but I have thirty two of them. And that adds up to one good one. All right, Willie Nelson, our guest tonight. We'll take a last break and be back to wrap up with Willie after this.

1:32:35🔗 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:32:36🔗 Caller Look in the hookup, call the dateline.

1:32:38🔗 Caller Stick a waste in time with the wrong person.

1:32:40🔗 Caller Call the dateline.

1:32:41🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:32:42🔗 Caller Call the dateline.

1:32:44🔗 Caller 1-877-889. Date.

1:32:47🔗 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead!

1:32:49🔗 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

1:33:24🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Well, that's it. The Great Divide is the name of the Willie Nelson CD and the Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes is the name of the book. Willie, it was quite a pleasure to have you on the show.

1:33:38🔗 Willie Nelson Thank you, my pleasure.

1:33:39🔗 Adam We do appreciate you coming on. And now that you know what the show is and we're all good buddies, come back anytime you like.

1:33:47🔗 Willie Nelson I would love to, yeah.

1:33:48🔗 Adam We'd love to have you. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. On the chode again. Just can't wait to be rolled on down that chode again. Or I can have sex with them hookers and sleep like a baby all night.

1:34:08🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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