11:26🔗VoiceoverLoveline, thanks for turning the mic on. Anderson, appreciate that. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Dr. Drew, board certified internist, and addiction medicine specialist. Our guest tonight is Save Ferris. Monique Powell is here as well as Brian Meshburn. We're glad to have Save Ferris back. It seems like too long. A couple of years? How long has it been? Six months?
12:09🔗AdamNo, I just can't take Anderson screaming erroneous information in my ear night after night. Imagine, imagine, it's as if you're playing some kind of bad game show where someone is screaming the wrong answer into your ear while you're looking at the wheel go around. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is. When people know about Anderson, he keeps that on a mini cassette so when we're outside smoking and I pop off, he fires it up. You can't articulate yourself any better than that.
12:43🔗DrewActually, the last time we saw Monique, we were at the Anaheim pond.
12:50🔗AdamThat wasn't the last time we saw Monique.
12:52🔗DrewAnd you were talking about your vagina on stage. Yes, that's all I remember. And we thought, oh my god, mom, dad, enjoy.
12:57🔗Save FerrisMy parents said that they were in the elevator and they saw you and they just started cracking up. They were like, they were more embarrassed for you than they were for me, I think.
13:07🔗AdamYeah, I think you came on the show then after that.
13:21🔗Save FerrisTook out, dusted off the old flugelhorn.
13:24🔗AdamGot up there and wowed the partisan crowd over there at the Weenie Roast a couple of years back. So this is good. When is, you got a new album maybe coming out in a few months?
13:38🔗AdamNow, what are we going to hear tonight? I mean, what Save Ferris music are we hearing on this show?
13:44🔗Save FerrisWell, someone, someone wanted to hear Come On, Eileen. So we're going to play that. But we also have pieces of some new songs that are going to be on the new album.
13:55🔗AdamAnd we'll hear that. But we don't want to play the whole thing in its entirety because we don't want somebody ripping it off and like downloading or doing something like that.
14:04🔗Save FerrisProbably don't want that. Yeah, I don't want that. It's true. This is called Gina. That's all you get, mofos.
14:25🔗AdamDrew was in Anaheim like two days ago dropping his kids off at the Disneyland Hotel. We're on a first name basis with every staff member of that hotel in there, right?
14:37🔗DrewWell, they were the old one, now the new one. They're learning every once in a while.
14:39🔗AdamYoung Master Pinsky. Yes, step in. Charles, get his slippers. You're going to go right to the presidential suite. Please, how many days? Would you say it's fair to say that those kids have spent half of their time on this earth inside of the Disneyland Hotel? I mean, out of their nine years, would you say four and a half? Maybe I'm exaggerating. Four years, Jesus Christ. I didn't even know with that Disney. Did you go to Disneyland growing up?
15:28🔗Save FerrisBut I never stayed there. I never stayed there. We just went and saw the water show and the light show and played a little cars and stuff.
15:38🔗AdamTo me it was, I went to Disneyland a handful of times growing up out here in Southern California but the hotel was like, don't even look at it, don't even dream about it.
16:16🔗AdamYou're going to ruin those kids. The boys are going gay, the girls are going lesbian. That's what I've decided. If you're lucky, one of them comes out straight.
16:27🔗AdamOne comes out bi. Best case scenario is one of the boys comes out bi. So we're going to hear something from Save Ferris. We'll hear an old one, we'll hear some bits of some new ones. I'll give you some dates where you can find them coming up. One coming up in Anaheim, by the way, at the House of Blues, which I've never been to. Is that a good one?
17:31🔗AdamOh, really? Because it seems like that's where they make a lot of their money, right? I mean, all those, you know, they get 700 cups out of a $40 keg and they sell them for $5 a piece and you do the math?
19:03🔗AdamThat's interesting. So maybe you don't, maybe there's too much at stake. Maybe you don't want to give it away. Maybe you feel too vulnerable or too attached or something. You know what I'm saying?
20:16🔗AdamOh, it makes a mess. It's like when you put the beater into the whipped cream and then flip it on and it goes flying everywhere. You got to get it moving first and slowly sink it in. It's a mess.
20:27🔗Save FerrisI don't know what kind of vibrator you've been playing with.
20:30🔗AdamVagina all over the room. All over the room.
21:05🔗AdamBut Gina doesn't sound as freed up as you and it sounds like she would be a little self-conscious doing that in front of a guy and so she can't get to that place.
21:29🔗Save FerrisShe needs to dance around the house naked. They need to have fun.
21:33🔗AdamWhat if she slipped and hurt herself and that's where they found her? That's why I don't run when I'm naked. I want to trip on my balls and be airlifted out of the place naked.
21:45🔗AdamThat's why, as you know, Drew, I don't jack off in the shower. It's the only place in the house I don't beat off because I'm scared I'm going to lose my footing, whack my head on a soap dish. How did they find him?
21:55🔗Save FerrisYou've got to get some dress for that shower, yo.
21:57🔗AdamMa'am, don't go in there. I know it's your son. We'll have an open casket.
22:01🔗Save FerrisDon't go in there. No, Christ, no. Lake spread eagle, handful of nivea clutching on to it.
22:09🔗AdamLike one hand's got the shower curtain, the other has the jugs, you know.
22:13🔗CallerOne hand has the catch of the penis. What are you talking about?
22:15🔗AdamRigamortis has said we have to pry the jugs from his hand. He's been there a number of days. A neighbor noticed the smell. It's not pretty, ma'am.
22:24🔗Save FerrisThat's it. Well, you know what I think about marriage, I think, is that marriage is a time, I think, it's time for you to have a good time because you found that partner that's going to love you regardless of whether or not your butthole is hairy or whatever.
22:39🔗Save FerrisWhy does she look at me when she said that?
22:41🔗Save FerrisBecause you look like a hairy butthole.
23:13🔗CallerYou're wearing that blue dress with the stars and you had stars painted on your arm.
23:19🔗Save FerrisYeah, Terry King made that dress, actually.
23:22🔗CallerYou were beautiful. Thank you. But I'm trying to get my mom to get me singing lessons because right after I went to your show I told my mom I want to be able to sing like Monique Powell.
24:10🔗AdamI was actually doing the fingerings on the spit valve. It took me a while before I realized it. Had to move my hand up, up top. All right, Haley.
24:17🔗Save FerrisIt's definitely sound like you have a lot of promise, Haley. And good luck.
28:33🔗AdamSave Ferris, everybody. That's why we love them so much. Brian and Monique are both here from the band. We will give you a couple of dates where you can find Save Ferris coming up in the very near future. And here's some snippets from some new stuff they've been working on that should be out on a Save Ferris album very shortly. Brian?
29:06🔗CallerThanks, man, for that. Great. I got some questions for you guys. Oh, and Dr. Drew, what he thinks, if he thinks those terrorists are behind the Anthrax virus? Or just his opinion on that?
29:18🔗DrewI mean, the reason, probably down in Florida?
29:20🔗CallerYeah, we're popping on Florida and just, you know, coming up right after New York.
29:23🔗AdamWell, listen, I hope they are, because if that's the best they can do with the Anthrax virus, I'm all for it.
29:28🔗DrewThat's kind of what I was thinking, too. I thought, boy, if this is the way it's going to go, we'll be fine.
29:32🔗AdamAnd by the way, you know, I sense some guys from a tabloid is not going to capture the hearts of the country. People's general consensus is, hey, I had it coming. So I hope this is it, because if that's it, great. You got one fatality and someone else is contracted and there may be a third person, but that's that effective spreading of biological warfare by any stretch of the imaginations. I don't think it is, and I don't think Drew does.
30:03🔗DrewThey're treating it as some sort of criminal behavior, that some crime occurred, not necessarily terrorism.
30:19🔗DrewWell they're advocating that people primarily watch out for strange behaviors of people, that people are leaving things behind, that people are eight guys in a room with no job, living next to you, this kind of thing.
30:30🔗AdamRight. And then I think you're playing hacky sack with a goat's head and barbequing the whole lamb in the backyard, yeah. It's a time to get on the horn.
30:40🔗DrewI think people should have a water supply, I think they should have a transistors, it's like an earthquake preparedness and an antibiotic supply. I think people ought to have something.
30:47🔗AdamWell where do you get the antibiotic supply?
31:00🔗AdamThat's my point. Because your thing is like you don't need quail lutes. I'm like, yes I do. And you're like, wait till you need the quail lutes and I'll score you the lutes, dude. But I'm saying, how about just a big jar of quail lutes right now in case I run into trouble?
31:13🔗Save FerrisI've never seen anyone become a penicillin junkie though.
31:20🔗Save FerrisThere'd be a lot of yeast infections running around if that were the case.
31:23🔗AdamAll right, so hey Brian, don't freak out. All right. You're fine there, buddy.
31:27🔗CallerI was just wondering what he had thought about that. My other question is, I've been with my girlfriend about 13 months, and when we still have sex, she still gets pain while we're having sex and a couple of days afterwards too.
31:49🔗CallerAnd everything was fine. And I don't know, we used lubricants and everything like that.
31:58🔗DrewDid she get a pelvic ultrasound by any chance?
32:00🔗CallerDid she get a pelvic ultrasound? I'm not sure.
32:03🔗DrewSometimes there can be cysts or endometriosis or various things that can cause discomfort, structural problems that might be missed without the ultrasound. So it's something worth continuing to go back and ask about if you're still having symptoms.
32:57🔗DrewI was like, do with the villagers in the snow globe.
33:01🔗AdamYeah. Yeah. Once in a while when I'm feeling bad about my size, I shake up the snow globe and I put my penis on it and I pretend that my penis is crushing a village.
33:13🔗DrewThe snow globe with the villagers in the snow.
33:33🔗AdamThey're like little gingerbread houses. They smash it and they talk about, Oh, the force field's working! Because they think the glass is like the force field. It's crazy. I should gurgle when I talk because it's filled with water, right? No, no.
34:02🔗AdamWe'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with Save Ferris and Jeff, who wants to know if there's a safe way to enlarge his penis after this.
34:16🔗Save FerrisHi, this is Seth Green, and you're listening to Loveline, you sick perverts.
34:20🔗AdamYeah. I love that Seth Green. I love it when he does the voice from the family guy.
34:27🔗Hi, this is Chris Graff, and you're listening to Loveline, which I'm not allowed to listen to, because they say words like breasts.
34:37🔗Save FerrisSounds kind of like Ralph from the Simpsons.
34:39🔗AdamYeah, it's got a little Ralphie Wiggum in them.
34:42🔗These berries taste like burning. Seth Green has worked nine shops since he began in the business.
34:50🔗AdamI made him read his bio as this character.
35:18🔗CallerDon't worry. You can just go back another time. That's right.
35:26🔗AdamI got to get that on my phone machine. I don't know how to do it, though. So, I have that kind of technology.
35:32🔗DrewIt sounds like all my patients with Parkinson's disease. It sort of bothers me.
35:36🔗AdamYou got it. Well, here's the thing. You got to see the family guy and you got to see the character. You have to picture the character that he does, the fat screwy kid of the family guy, and then it's extra funny. Brian and Monique are both here from Save Ferris.
35:55🔗AdamWe'll hear some new stuff, some samples from some Save Ferris new material coming up shortly. Let's get back to the phones and speak to Jeff. It's 23.
36:08🔗What's up? Dr. Drew? I was just wondering if you could shed some light on this. Just whether it's Internet or email forwards that you get or junk mail or whatever, advertisements, everywhere you go it seems like there are different kinds of ads for penal enlargements. I'm wondering if there's a safe way to do it or if one...
36:33🔗DrewI don't think any of these are particularly dangerous. Of course, the surgeries are more dangerous than that.
36:38🔗AdamBut either my vacuum devices and things like that or the pills.
36:43🔗A lot of things like herbal stuff like pills and things like that.
36:47🔗AdamI always love those commercials. You know, hey fellas, you know, you ever hear these commercials where the sexy chick is talking about why be average when you can be... And they did some poll. 68% of women say they're not satisfied with their man's size. It's just, it's really, it just tugs at the insecure heartstrings of every, every, every idiot listening out there. It's pretty sad. Yeah. And I say smack that snow globe and feel good about yourself. Also I had an idea too that I bounced off Drew. He didn't seem to take much notice of it, but I'm still behind it, which is instead of lengthening the penis, how about hollowing out the area around it? You know, just digging out the area around the penis, really making it look that much bigger.
37:35🔗DrewYeah, like, like you cut down the grass around your male, male.
37:38🔗AdamYeah, that's the way, oh look, the grass grows high around the mailbox, makes the mailbox look shorter.
37:49🔗AdamSee what I'm saying, Jeff? Yeah, you need to excavate that area around the penis.
37:55🔗DrewI've not yet met that person for whom his life was made more meaningful, more successful, more fulfilled through doing anything that goes penis other than masturbating.
38:05🔗AdamAnd actually you have an easier time shrinking your balls to make your penis look bigger than you would actually getting your penis to be bigger.
38:13🔗DrewWell, you could certainly get some mileage that way.
38:15🔗AdamI could take up, I could take up some skin. Yeah, I could cut off some extra and make a whole drum kit.
40:08🔗Save FerrisNo, you know what? First of all, my view on oral sex is that men should definitely not even think about penetration before they go down on a woman.
40:40🔗AdamSo, okay. So, first oral, then the intercourse. But here's what I'm saying. And you agree or disagree with me. I contend that most women would rather have a guy who is a little smaller in the penis but gave great oral and a good massage after the sexy. They'd go for that kid. They're like feet rubbed and their necks worked over and everything, right?
41:03🔗Save FerrisYeah. There are so many. I mean, gosh. Sex is so colorful nowadays. You have so many choices. It really doesn't matter about the size of the penis.
41:12🔗AdamThese guys have been so much time focusing on the size of their penis and they should really focus on compensating for their small penis with other techniques.
41:19🔗Save FerrisOr, you know what, even if you have a huge penis, sometimes, it's just not... Everybody's different. Everybody's different. It's how you work it.
41:28🔗DrewThe size thing, though, for these guys becomes such a symbol of their worth.
41:56🔗Save FerrisBecause we were stuck overseas when everything was happening here in New York. Oh, really? Where were you? We were in England. We were in a smaller city in England, and then we went back to London and we stayed there for an extra week because we lost our flight. But we had a great time. It was tough, but it was great because we self-financed our tour. It was wonderful. Almost every show was sold out. I mean, it was incredible. Seriously, like the most amazing crowd response I've seen in a long time for us.
43:46🔗Save FerrisWell, we played Reading in Leeds in Europe and we were over there with Real Big Fish and the bass player Matt Wong is actually this amazing artist and our new trumpet player fell asleep and while he was asleep, Matt drew a huge penis on his back like Harry, just very graphic and wrote rock hard in Olde English.
44:08🔗AdamDid he fall asleep or was he rendered unconscious from?
44:12🔗Save FerrisI don't know. It was hot. Maybe he was...
44:14🔗DrewThis was not a tattoo. It was just a painting like a pen.
44:16🔗Save FerrisYeah, it looked like a tattoo. It was funny.
44:18🔗AdamBut, you know, if you... I've done this to many a guy who's passed out too because of too much booze and probably not with the artistry but still the point, the thought was there. If you get that indelible ink and you draw a good penis on a guy's belly in black ink or on his back, especially on his back, he can't really get to it. It's hard to get a loofah back there, you know what I'm saying?
44:38🔗DrewHe made it a week without knowing it was there.
45:16🔗Said, hey, how'd you like to get a girlfriend tonight? Show them your tattoo.
45:20🔗AdamWell, he must have been a little drunk, right? Yeah, maybe. Maybe a tad. But listen, I've done many horrible things to many a friend who has passed out because of booze. And most guys have a story or two like this, just like this story. And you brought up the paramedics, and it made me think of something which is, it must have happened hundreds of times, historically, where something horrible was done to a corpse. Where the guy died of alcohol poisoning, and you thought it was Stu who had just passed out because he had tilted too many, and you were loaded too. So you decided to shave his pubes or something. It turned out he was dead.
46:06🔗DrewA few manslaughter allegations were levied at people.
46:09🔗AdamI mean, guys die because they drink too much all the time, right? And if all the guys who are around them are drunk, and he's the first to go down, they're going to screw with the guy. Nice.
46:20🔗Save FerrisAll right, let's all just think about that.
46:23🔗Save FerrisHey, Brian, if I die, please don't screw with me.
46:25🔗AdamI'll do it. I'll put you right in the jacuzzi. Save Ferris is here. We're going to take a little break. We'll be back with you and us and them after that. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Monique and Brian are both here from Save Ferris. New album should be out fairly soon, a couple of a few months. They're going to be at Slim's in San Francisco. If you're listening from that part of the world on October 25th. And then House of Blues out here in Anaheim on November 17.
49:18🔗DrewWhether or not it meets the specific criteria as a diagnosis for an eating disorder, whether it's a symptom of something else, it's a serious symptom. And are you on medication otherwise?
49:40🔗CallerIt's just every once in a while I'll get stressed or I overeat and I hate that feeling that I have in my stomach of all that junk and I just got to get it out. That's only like once every other month or... Yeah.
49:54🔗DrewWell, bulimia is binging and purging. The doctor did it every day, but somebody, if they binge and then purge, that is bulimia.
50:01🔗AdamAll right. But if it's truly every other month, as she describes, it's probably not a problem, but I'm sure it's not...
50:07🔗Save FerrisNo, because she's using food as a way to cure her stress.
50:12🔗AdamHold on a second. Drew, as a doctor, you're trained not to believe people. You know what I mean? We've talked about this with smoking. You go in and tell your doctor, look, I smoke one cigarette a month. That's too much. You got to quit. Now, it's not too much. He's saying it because he doesn't believe you.
50:33🔗AdamAnd that's why as a doctor, when a guy says, I smoke one cigarette a year, you go, that's too much. You got to quit. And this is the same thing. If she truly did this every other month...
50:44🔗AdamWell, that was her second assertion that she did it. Even if she did it once a month, you'd probably... If it was no... Every 30 days she did this and no more, it probably would not be that big a deal.
50:56🔗DrewNo, the behavior is not a big deal, but it suggests something seriously psychological going on.
51:54🔗DrewHey Renee, you just said you manage to... Hey, hey, hey, listen. You just said you deal with stress, feelings by overeating, binging and purging. That is a very serious symptom. So we're trying to figure out why you can't manage stress like any other 32-year-old adult. What's going on in your life that these profound symptoms are developing? Thank you, Drew.
52:45🔗Save FerrisThat's not important to her. How about the next time you start feeling stressed, why don't you encourage yourself to write five pages of how you feel?
52:54🔗DrewWell, that's helpful. But one of the things that people really need in order to manage feelings is interpersonal contact. Connect to this. She sounds completely isolated. In that whole discussion we had, she did not mention family, relationships, anything. She's focused on her bombing, her eating and her exercise.
53:08🔗AdamWell, here's the thing too, everybody. We don't focus on the information so much on this show as we focus on the vibe. She's saying she vomits once a month. That's no big deal. But her vibe is so profoundly screwed up. She sounds so withdrawn and so screwed up and depressed too. And each time I try to pursue something with her, I just get cut off. So screw you, go vomit. They have a cat's fine.
53:36🔗AdamRight. But you sound really depressed. And people, you know, I'll go ahead and say this. We don't know you, so it's easier for us to hear a problem. The people that know you are used to you. It's that Renee we work with. It's that Renee, our friend or a family member. But we never have spoken to Renee in our life. And the hair in the back of our neck stands up when she starts talking. And she sounds like someone who's really hurting. So that's our impression of you, Renee. So get some help, please. Jordan, you're 13?
54:17🔗CallerYeah. My dad, whenever I'm away, he gets on the Internet and starts looking at porn. Yeah.
54:28🔗DrewSuddenly I flashed on a nightmare that Jordan's name, one of my sons, I'm still doing this show and these kids are 13. What are they going to call and say about me?
54:37🔗AdamOh, it's going to be a disaster. They'll sue you. Yes, your dad looks at porn.
54:43🔗CallerYeah, and he does it when I'm away, but not when my seven younger brothers and sisters are.
55:49🔗AdamHi, Jordan. You're so full of crap. Please. How dare you call this show that bogus kind of be? Yes. I saw through the window. The show had more holes in it than my high school underpants. That was a horrible story. There's guys who sound like they're lying from what they're saying and then there's guys who sound like they're lying from their cadence. Oh, I, well, came, well, that's a hooker's body, yes, but she's holding down the kilo of coke that, well, let me go to my house and get my license. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. Save Ferris here and we'll be back. Hey, y'all, I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew over there at his Loveline. Brian and Monique are both here from Save Ferris. They're going to be over at Slim's in San Francisco on October 25th and at the House of Blues in Anaheim November 17th. Got some music coming out and some movies that are coming up. And we'll have theoretically a new CD out sometime in February, or so they think. That sounds about right, right? Sounds about right. I think we're going to sample some new stuff from Save Ferris. Take a call.
57:44🔗DrewThis is the one we're going to, it's from, going to be on a film?
57:58🔗CallerHi, yeah. Oh my God, I'm talking to Save Ferris. This is really cool. Like, I've never gotten through a radio station before and now I'm talking to Save Ferris.
58:06🔗AdamAll right, let's put her on the line. Like, she had a streak going. YF with the streak. All right, go ahead. I'm sorry.
58:15🔗Okay, I just want to know how I could get tickets to any of those companies because I would die to go.
58:36🔗I also want to ask, your guides in music is just the best. It's like the best pick-me-up music I've ever, ever heard. I can put on your CDs and I'm just... I want to know how you guys get such awesome lyrics because I tried to write some music a while ago and I kind of suck at it.
59:04🔗That's pretty much the best way. It's just like writing anything. You just have to keep... You come up with the original idea and you just sort of keep rewriting until you get something that you don't think is cheesy.
59:35🔗AdamAll right. So what we're going to do now is I think we're going to hear something new from Save Ferris. And we're not going to play the entire and complete song for reasons that is not coming out for a few months. And we don't want people copying it or downloading it or recording it or bootlegging it. But I think we're going to hear half of it or a quarter of it or what is our plan? A sample of it. We'll hear a sample.
1:02:44🔗AdamYeah, you ever see those competitions, the sheep shearing competitions? Well, you know you're from a bad country and that's like a major event.
1:02:55🔗AdamWell, how does this sport work? Well, he shaves a sheep and we hang out. And what we'll do is time it. And then, you know, if there's some hair left around, let's say where the leg attaches to the body, we'll deduct some points. Yeah, it's pretty big. This guy's good though. He's got the record.
1:03:21🔗CallerWell, me and my boyfriend broke up almost two weeks ago because he's going into the Army. And I lost my virginity to him about a month ago. And...
1:03:55🔗DrewOkay, that's one reason. Secondly, he sounds like he's left kind of suddenly. Thirdly, there always is that special bond of when you do have sex with someone and it seems extra intense when it's the first time.
1:04:05🔗CallerYeah, and like when we broke up, it was kind of a mutual thing. But he said he still wants to stay friends with me and all that, but I feel like he's making no effort to me. Is that just because guys don't know how to show their emotions?
1:04:25🔗AdamWell, this guy doesn't really sound like he was your boyfriend.
1:04:54🔗DrewWell, maybe he didn't think he was really in a relationship, or at least maybe that says something about the priority of that relationship in his life.
1:05:19🔗AdamNo, he decided it's not going to be fair because he wants to bang a lot of underage Taiwanese girls.
1:05:26🔗CallerHe did say he's going to be gone for two years at the minimum, and seriously, I don't think I'd be faithful to him. He might not even be in the same country.
1:05:38🔗DrewThat's realistic. Fair enough. But what we're saying is this guy may have had this plan already, and he really didn't put a lot of priority in this relationship.
1:05:45🔗CallerYou know what? After he did say that he was going to join the Army, he did mention that he did want to join the Army earlier.
1:06:02🔗DrewAll right, here's the deal. It's going to hurt. That's it. It's not going to feel good. And let it go. Just get through it. Let it go. And the sooner you start that clock ticking of mourning the loss of this relationship, the quicker you'll be back with someone else feeling okay.
1:06:17🔗AdamYou know what I love about this show? When people call and they try to convince us it was a mutual decision to break up how hard we lobby for, no, no, you were dumped, sweetie. You were dumped.
1:06:33🔗CallerWhat do you think we're talking to here?
1:06:36🔗AdamHe used you like an old Kleenex. You were one of many for him, sweet pea.
1:06:43🔗CallerHe's shipping out. He's probably on top of someone right now.
1:06:46🔗AdamOh, yeah. Maybe your best friend or your sister, possibly your mom. Oh, no, you were dumped. You won't be over this for a long time. Yeah, that's going to scar. That's the kind of thing that stays with you. Maybe 10 years of therapy. I mean, intensive psychotherapy, possibly, but you'll never be right. You're like a car that's been rolled. Yeah, put a fresh coat of paint on it, but it's always going to pull a little bit to the left. You know what I'm saying? You'll never be right, baby.
1:07:40🔗AdamIt's hard to question yourself when you're always right.
1:07:43🔗Save FerrisI mean, why bother? You know what I'm saying?
1:07:45🔗AdamIt's so futile. It's such a waste of time.
1:07:47🔗DrewIf you're in the military now is having to protect... I was thinking about this military thing and they have to... These guys have to protect their... They have to be anonymous. They can't tell people they're in the army. And I thought about the drill sergeants we had in here.
1:08:01🔗AdamOr because of possible reprisals against their family.
1:08:05🔗DrewThey could tear us targets over here. I thought how would guys like those boot camp sergeants hide the fact that they're in the military?
1:08:24🔗AdamThat wasn't even on the show. I was constipated. I was trying to go to the toilet. We're running late for break. Drew sent the guys in to help me move it along a little bit. Motivate! Motivate!
1:08:49🔗DrewHow could those guys hide their heritage?
1:08:53🔗AdamNo. I think they are mainly talking about guys a little bit higher up on the ladder than DI, though. You know what I am saying? All right. Let's hop back to the phone and speak to Steven. It's 14, Steven.
1:09:07🔗CallerI am currently in a relationship and I think that I heard today from my best friend that there has been a rumor going around at the school that they go to. It's a long distance relationship that she might dump me.
1:09:52🔗CallerYeah, up till now. And then I called my friend tonight and he said that he heard a rumor that she might dump me and he asked her...
1:10:00🔗DrewLook, at fourteen, a year in a relationship is like an eternity. Those relationships tend to kind of turn over about a year or so at your age. Whether or not you had something like distance or another stress to it, it's hard for relationships to make it through that.
1:10:50🔗AdamHere's the deal. If she wants to break up, she will let you know through her actions. She will probably not want to confront you, but it'll be something like you'll call her tomorrow and say, so I'm coming out there this weekend and she'll go, oh, you know, this weekend's bad because we got a school trip going on or some nonsense like that. Magically, three weekends will go by and for one good excuse or another, you'll not be over there. And then you've got to listen to that. Listen to the actions, everybody, because people do it all the time. Like if you call her up and go, I heard a rumor you weren't in love with me. Oh, no, no, no. No, that's not true. I still love you. You love me? Yeah, yeah. Because I heard from Kurt, no, no. That's what you're going to get. But listen to the actions.
1:12:01🔗DrewIs she getting a little weird with you on the phone?
1:12:04🔗CallerYeah, actually, I called her last night or I tried to and I couldn't get a hold of her and I'm fine. Since 5.30, I couldn't get a hold of her.
1:12:28🔗AdamYou have at least three years. Three good years ahead of you. Do you guys know that feeling? And it was sort of creeping in a little when he said he called her and he couldn't find her and she couldn't call him. Call the call the call. Yeah, but do you guys know that? Can remember that feeling and we've all been through it a few dozen times where you think it's going pretty good with somebody or you're still really into somebody and you think they're pretty much into you. And there's that thing like you call them. And they used to call back because they would check their messages and whatnot. They would call back like at least not more than two hours would go by. They'd call from work or whatever. And this time you called and you didn't hear back from them that night and you talked to them the next day.
1:13:28🔗AdamNo, but they called from work every other night, but this time they didn't. And it was like, yeah, we had a meeting. We got kind of distracted. Rehearsal went late. And you're thinking, okay, don't panic, don't get weird. But you're getting that little creepin feeling, like, all right, we'll see.
1:13:46🔗DrewAnd that feeling is approaching desperation. It's like moving into desperation.
1:13:50🔗AdamAnd then the date comes and then you go out on Friday and it's like the movie's over, the dinner's over, and you go, you want to go back to my place? And they go, I got to get up early tomorrow. And now that feeling's starting to creep. So you want to sleep over and we'll just get you up early? I got to leave really early so I think I should just spend the night at my place and all of a sudden it's like, oh, you know. And then it's like, could I get a blowjob then? I had some dental work down in Irvine.
1:14:25🔗AdamAnd now you're starting to slide into Desperate a little. And then you're like, well why don't I sleep over at your place then if you've got to get up. Well I don't know. I don't want to hassle you. You've got to get in somewhere.
1:14:36🔗DrewThen you want to lock in next weekend. Yeah.
1:14:37🔗AdamNow you've got to lock in it. Alright. So.
1:14:40🔗DrewSo on Friday I'll see you for the movie and then we'll get to you. No. No.
1:14:42🔗AdamNext week is too far because it's Friday now. Well how about Tuesday then? Well and then it's this. And here's where it really starts sinking. Next week's pretty hectic but I think we might be able to do it. Call me Monday. Call me Monday night and we'll see what we can see about. And you're going, Oh no, no, no, because you know when you call Monday night it ain't going down. And then you say that, here's what you say to yourself, Okay, that's cool. I'll call Monday night and I ain't going to press. I'll just call Monday night and I'll say, Remember we talked about maybe getting together Tuesday and if she wants to get together, great. But if not, fine. And then you call Monday night and it's like, you're hearing the voice and then you start to panic and now you're screwed.
1:15:26🔗Save FerrisThat's when you ask if it's over.
1:15:29🔗DrewGuys don't. They got a pound for another week or two.
1:15:33🔗AdamNo, here's the guy I move. You play cool. Yeah, Monday night. What about Tuesday? You don't even need to hear the answers. That little air that comes out before the no.
1:16:30🔗Save FerrisBig balls, bucktoothed, frill-o-head, hip, b, b, and b.
1:16:35🔗AdamBut, but then here's what you do then. As a guy, no, it's not over yet. Because as a guy, you do this, you get cool. You go, yeah, okay, uh, well, wait, whenever then, all right, I'm cool. Maybe next weekend, maybe whenever, and you hang up the phone, and you go, I'll ice her down just a little bit, and she'll crack.
1:16:54🔗AdamYeah, I'll call my buddies. I'm not going to call her, and I won't, I won't call. And I won't call tomorrow, because she's expecting me to call her, and I'm going to call her tomorrow. She thinks I'm going to call her tomorrow and see what's going on on Friday. Now, we're not going to ever, you know what, I ain't going to call her, she's going to call me. And then you don't call, but then Wednesday, you get drunk.
1:17:11🔗Save FerrisAnd you're like, listen bitch, listen bitch, I got to know.
1:17:18🔗AdamYou're playing me bitch, what's going on? Seriously, Friday, and then it slides into this. Look, I need to see you Friday, I just need to talk to you, I need to talk to you Friday.
1:17:29🔗DrewWe need to get together, we need to talk.
1:17:30🔗AdamWe'll talk over the phone. No, I need to see you in person on Friday. I can't, because I got my grandmother's Friday, we're taught, I'm coming, I'm coming over.
1:18:38🔗AdamWe'll take ourselves a little break. Save Ferris here, and we'll be back. Hey, everybody. This is my theme song, right? I've decided I needed a theme song to be playing when I, like, entered restaurants and bars and just got the mail and stuff, you know, let people know I was coming.
1:19:04🔗AdamThis is a new one, yeah. This is the one I've decided on. Actually, here's what it's like. The first song is what's playing in my head as I enter the bar.
1:19:18🔗AdamThe second song is what everybody hears and sees. This is what's going on in my head as I swing into the bar and I'm checking out the scene, doing that finger point thing, making eyes with the hot-looking bartender and ordering a beer.
1:19:30🔗DrewAnd here's what everyone hears and sees.
1:19:31🔗AdamHere's what everyone else hears as I enter the bar.
1:19:41🔗Save FerrisDon't we all go through life that way to a certain extent?
1:19:45🔗DrewI hear this in my head and this is what other people see.
1:19:52🔗AdamBut when you see the guy with the mullet and the bad wrap around Oakley Shades, you know, the blades on and the members only jacket. Oh yeah. Isn't that the song that's going on in his head when you're looking at this guy thinking about Peak Patrol?
1:20:55🔗AdamYeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I worked with the guys from Sugar Ray or something talking about that or I sort of remember something like that. All right, let's, why do you have to bring us down with the Snot and the death and everything?
1:21:08🔗Save FerrisOkay, come on. My thing would be a skinner, it's all.
1:21:21🔗CallerOkay, I need all your guys' minds here to tell me what you guys think I should do. I mean, I just had like my first, I just broke up with my first boyfriend. We had sex and stuff, and he videotaped on two occasions that I know of.
1:21:37🔗DrewThis was obviously his first girlfriend, too.
1:22:06🔗CallerOkay. So one time I was walking into the kitchen, he was cooking us breakfast after spending the night, and he was watching a tape of us. It was a tape that I had no idea that he videotaped. It was like one that we had one time where we had sex in the morning.
1:22:25🔗AdamWhere was the vantage point of the video camera? Where do you think he hid it?
1:22:29🔗CallerWell, he didn't hide it. Like he said that, he just wanted to watch it on the big screen, like on the TV set, and hook it up so he can watch it, but there wasn't an actual tape in there.
1:22:42🔗CallerRight now, he doesn't work because he has money invested in the stock market, and I know that's true because his dad passed away and he got money from a lawsuit and he has money in the stock market.
1:22:59🔗DrewYeah. Why are you attracted to guys like that?
1:23:03🔗CallerYou know what? I don't know. I don't know that. I was attracted to him. I don't know if it's anything wrong with me. I think that like, I don't know.
1:23:12🔗AdamWhat money does this guy make on a lawsuit?
1:23:16🔗CallerHis dad, like, was injured in a home. And he showed me a bank statement that he had, like, about $31,000 in the bank. So, I mean, it's like not a lot of money. But he was telling me that, like, he told me that he wanted to marry me in crazy cred like that.
1:23:35🔗DrewWhy are you attracted to bad guys like that?
1:23:58🔗DrewOkay, well, you hurt yourself. Maybe you got to learn something from this.
1:24:01🔗AdamWell, what do you want to know? You want to try to get the videotape back?
1:24:03🔗CallerOkay, like, okay, I want to ask him for the taste back, but there's no way for sure that I'm going to know that he's handing over everything now.
1:24:12🔗AdamAnd look, here's the deal, Marla. I really hate to kick you while you're down, but this guy is like a world class A-hole, and I know guys like this. And by the way, and I don't know, from time to time, I think about these guys, maybe you grew up with guys whose paths have crossed your life and stuff like that. You guys who are listening, kill yourselves, please. Please kill yourselves. You're so flawed, and I know...
1:24:47🔗DrewYou're careful who you thought he was.
1:24:48🔗AdamI'm talking to my friends right now. I'm saying kill yourselves. I know you've done no harm to anybody, really. I mean, having to run over anyone in your car or anything, but you're just, you're so flawed. There's people that are just flawed, you know? And this guy, this guy's never going to hand over the tapes. This guy's going to make a copy and hand over the copy. Right, because he has no soul and you don't exist to him. Because other humans don't exist to him.
1:25:19🔗Save FerrisWell, what if she's sneaky about it? What if she just comes in unannounced one day and waits till he goes to the bathroom? That's what I would do. I would fully, I would do the full, like, But I can get trouble by the authorities.
1:25:32🔗DrewYou know what she's saying? Listen, here's this guy's gonna call the cop. Yeah, he's gonna call the cop. Here's the trouble. He filmed you without your knowledge.
1:25:51🔗Save FerrisThat's what I would do. Run into the closet, take him back.
1:25:54🔗AdamHere's the bottom line. Listen to me, sweetie. If you call him and say, I need that tape and I'm coming over there to get it, he will make five dupes.
1:26:13🔗DrewMarla, here, first and foremost, count your blessings. Count your blessings. Just be thankful you've learned something, you're in one piece, you're getting out of there. Just be thankful for that.
1:26:22🔗CallerShould I go to counseling to find out, like, why I like him?
1:26:58🔗CallerI always take every single one of them.
1:26:59🔗AdamThat's right. But you don't know. Did you physically see this tape ever? Because he was watching it in the kitchen.
1:27:07🔗CallerIn the camera. And he put, like he would put the small tape into the large tape and then play it in the VCR.
1:27:13🔗AdamRight. Okay. So you're going to need to just grab those tapes. Now you'll probably see friends and family members getting effed too when you go to look at them. You'll probably get a whole collection.
1:27:26🔗DrewAnd just the pets and, oh, for god sakes.
1:27:28🔗AdamPets. Now look, this guy deserves nothing. You grab all those tapes and get the hell out of there.
1:27:37🔗AdamListen, if you know some guy who plays some junior college football or something, bring some muscle over. Exactly. I got friends who do that stuff. They do it with great pleasure. They'll just go over there. They'll walk right in. They'll get the guy in a headlock. You'll go into the room. You'll take a pillowcase. You'll fill a pillowcase with whatever tapes he has. You say to him, listen, calm down. You'll get everyone back except for the one with me on it. Just sit down, shut the F up, and in a couple weeks you'll get them all back. You're going to leave. And that's it. Listen, let me tell you something. I know I got one friend who's into this. He's got to take a picture of everyone's boobs and all that kind of stuff. What is it with these guys?
1:28:19🔗AdamNo, he's probably not that bad. But they have that gene. They all have that little sociopath gene.
1:28:25🔗DrewYeah, well, that's what I'm saying. That's the way he is like this.
1:28:27🔗AdamRight. Listen, you guys, kill yourselves, please. Please. I would rather have a guy... I really would rather hang out with a guy who got busted for murder if it was under the right circumstances. You know what I mean? I'd rather hang with a guy who said, What happened? This dude raped my kid sister. I had a few paps, tall boys, and went over there and just put a hunting knife in his liver. Man, I couldn't help it. I freaked out. I'd rather hang out with that dude than this dude who had a life where he never got no trouble with the law, just lawsuits and naked filming of people and... It's the creep... .just those creepy dudes. I'd like to say this. Look, any of you who have, let's say, more than three lawsuits in the last 10 years, kill yourself. Kill yourself. Hey, you ballless fags, just kill yourself.
1:29:29🔗AdamI mean, no, let me just say this real fast before we go to the phones. Here's the deal. And Drew and I were talking about this yesterday, I believe. How many, as it comes to this society, we're all talking about the airport, how much time it's gonna take to get through the airport, all the hassle and all this kind of stuff. How many people are we trying to catch? Do you know what I mean, who passed through the airport? One out of every thousand guys? No. One out of every million? Probably less than that. We're all aft, we're all screwed because one guy out of every five million of us is going to do something weird on the airplane. And now we can all park our cars a mile away and take the shuttle in, we can all get frisked by some 500 pound black woman in her 50s, we can all go through the metal detector, we can all wait in line, we can, I can break, I have to break the file off of my nail clippers and throw it away so that I can get on the plane. Why? Because of one guy. One guy out of five million guys, and what about all the lawsuits, and what about all the litigation, and what about all the warning labels and the aspirin that I can't get the knob at the top off of, and the lighter that doesn't work, because one idiot put one lawsuit in, and you know what? These guys, they have multiple lawsuits, and basically what I'm saying is this, there's one guy for every five million good people on this planet, there's one eff up who's screwing it for all of us, and please kill yourself. These people, kill yourself. Kill yourself now.
1:31:08🔗AdamPlease, I'll send $20 to your relatives. If you just kill yourself now. You with the 13 lawsuits, you have sued five different casinos because you took a spill in the lobby. Kill yourself now. Please, you're holding us up. Yay. Thank you. We never think about it that way, but it's not 10% of the population. It's one effort.
1:31:32🔗Save FerrisYou know, I've never thought about it like that.
1:31:33🔗AdamOne guy out of millions, all of us, everyone you know, we all sit in line at the airport. We all just sit there for one guy. One guy who's screwing all of us. And if that guy could just kill himself. What a great utopia we'd be living in right now.
1:31:49🔗DrewBefore you take this call about Monique's clothing line.
1:32:01🔗DrewWe'll never get to that song. I know it.
1:32:03🔗AdamWhy do you, hold on a second. Let me say something about Drew that cracks me up. Drew is such a crazy task master that he said to me tonight like, hey, we gotta play, there's a couple of Save Ferris songs and we gotta play a few pieces of them. Because somebody said to Drew before the show, here's what we're going to do. We're going to play, come on, we're going to play a couple of clips from a couple of Save Ferris. I said, Drew, now it's his job. Now he's on this. And I'm like, yeah, all right, we'll play the songs.
1:32:31🔗AdamI know, but he's such a pain in the ass.
1:32:33🔗Save FerrisHe's such a pain in the ass with that stuff. Is that you that told him, Drew? I told you, Adam.
1:32:39🔗DrewI didn't tell Drew on purpose. No, the Wrangler.
1:32:42🔗AdamThe record guy told, the record Wrangler told Drew, we got to play a couple of songs and now Drew is going insane because there's only 20 minutes left.
1:32:49🔗DrewAnd Monique seems very excited about it too and I wanted to make her pass.
1:32:52🔗AdamWe will play the song but this is her clothing line here too.
1:32:55🔗DrewWe're gonna get to that too if you stop talking.
1:32:58🔗AdamDon't make me get into the liners when you go nuts for those things.
1:33:02🔗Save FerrisOkay, when I'm jumping on the trampoline on your show, Adam, that's the song you have to play. The Drunken Elephant song.
1:33:10🔗AdamChristy, you got a question for Monique?
1:33:13🔗CallerOh my God, am I always these girls? Yes.
1:33:19🔗CallerOh my God, I want to tell you guys, I'm a huge, huge fan and I really love your guys' music. I've been a fan for a very long time and I think you guys' stuff is great.
1:34:36🔗CallerHey, guys, this is Brooke Burke, and you're listening to Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew on Loveline.
1:34:42🔗AdamYes, he is. That's Brooke Burke from E Wild on whatever, the Fung Back Show. She's super hot, that Brooke Burke. But I think she kind of acts like she knows it.
1:35:58🔗AdamI am surprised that we speak to adults who have thought this is... think of this as a wives tale. Like they have no idea some sort of urban legend. This lighting of the gas. I am telling you... He's probably not. My buddy, the Wees, we used to live together, lit a cigarette off of my ass. Off of my lighting, my ass.
1:36:21🔗DrewHaving now witnessed Adam's talent, he's not talking about holding the cigarette up to his ass. He's not holding the cigarette, you know, in somebody's mouth. Six inches away from the action.
1:36:30🔗AdamYeah, he was up. The flame came up and got the cigarette.
1:36:33🔗DrewThat's right. That's incredible. It's like a bullwhip out, reaching out to snap it out of her mouth. Let's hear the song, Gina, shall we?
1:36:38🔗AdamYeah. You know, it's funny, sometimes I'm driving and I think, I wonder if anyone else throughout history has lit a cigarette off of a fart.
1:36:49🔗AdamI don't mean a great literary figure or just a great figure.
1:36:52🔗Save FerrisThat's something I haven't done.
1:36:53🔗AdamThat's what I'm thinking. And I'm thinking, so sometimes I go, no, I bet I'm the only guy. And then I think, nah, someone must have done that.
1:37:01🔗Save FerrisI did light a cigarette in Europe.
1:39:34🔗AdamYeah, I like them both. They're both very catchy, very hooky, very good. Yeah, just real clean and upbeat, and they really sound good. Really sounds good, and it's like a real departure, but it's definitely a departure from the stuff we're used to hearing from you guys.
1:39:55🔗CallerYeah, we sort of kind of were trying to use different instruments with the new stuff and get away from like doing the same thing over and over again.
1:40:03🔗AdamYeah, it sounds, I mean, it just sounds great.
1:40:05🔗Save FerrisWe wanted to recapture a little bit of the youth of the early days of Save Ferris, too.
1:40:11🔗AdamIt. So listen, I at the risk of being called a wuss. I like stuff like that. I mean, I don't know, all that sort of like Nervosa and Smashing Dumplings and whatever the kids are listening to these days.
1:40:31🔗AdamNo, I just mean, I just mean all that sort of Limp Bizkit bang your head stuff. It's all right if you're pissed off and you're like wakeboarding at the same time or something. When I'm driving in my car and I'm not in a bad mood, I don't feel like I'm not angry anymore. That was like, I'm happy now. I like to hear stuff that's like a little.
1:41:24🔗AdamAll right, we'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with more of my theme song, which I'm here is going to be sampled by Moby, that upcoming project after this. Angelica Bridges is going to be in here tomorrow night. She's been on this show, right, Drew? We know her somehow.
1:42:08🔗AdamI remember Ozzy Osbourne was in Black Sabbath many years ago, but has he done anything since he got out of Sabbath? I mean, jeez, that must have been in the 70s. Well, maybe they're on some sort of reunion tour or something. We'll find out. We'll find out. I'm curious to see what he looks like.
1:42:25🔗AdamSave Ferris, everybody. Thank you. The new stuff sounds great. Yeah. It really does. I can't wait for that new CD to come out. Hopefully sometime in February, and when it does, then you come back, right? Yeah.
1:42:52🔗This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the stations. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.