Thursday, August 2, 2001

0:55🔗 Voiceover For an adult audience, Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10🔗 Voiceover Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, Ford Certified Internist.

1:24🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:24🔗 Adam In Addiction Medicine Specialist. A little bell check.

1:28🔗 Drew More garlic tonight?

1:31🔗 Adam No, I just rushed my meal down tonight. I had a eight o'clock dinner and the guy showed up a half hour late in the food. How many times have you done this, Drew, since you've had this gig?

1:45🔗 Drew Eaten real quickly before I came out here?

1:46🔗 Adam Yeah. Here's how it works for me, each and every time. Once a month, you go out to dinner and you figure, we'll work it out so you can go out to dinner before you come in here.

1:58🔗 Drew Yes.

1:58🔗 Adam So you tell the person you'll meet them at the restaurant at eight, and the restaurant's only 15-20 minutes away from the studio.

2:04🔗 Drew Yes.

2:04🔗 Adam Inevitably, they show up at 8.15 or 8.20.

2:07🔗 Drew The table's not quite ready yet.

2:09🔗 Adam You sit down, and by the time you order at 8.45, and then the food shows up at 9.10, 9.15. And you're shuffling down this meal that you're paying for.

2:21🔗 Drew And then here's what goes through my mind is, it's really not 15 minutes down there. It's actually about 23 minutes down. So now my 15-minute block, I'm shaving that down to 23 or 24 minutes, thinking, holy Christ, I got to get out of here.

2:38🔗 Adam All right. All right. So I just wolfed down a nice, expensive meal and left. But, oh, Harlan Williams is not going to be in tonight. He canceled. He had to do like the weakest link or something.

2:51🔗 Drew Unacceptable.

2:51🔗 Adam I don't know what it was or what it is, but he canceled. And as you know, Drew, I think we're the only radio show in town that does not hold that against the guest.

3:01🔗 Drew No. In fact, we barely know this.

3:03🔗 Adam I don't hold that against a guest anymore. I would. And then when I was in grade school and my teacher wouldn't show up and I had to substitute. Did you ever feel abandoned? No, no, no, it was good. Right. Yeah. You have to do less. Johnny.

3:19🔗 Yeah.

3:19🔗 Adam You're 21.

3:21🔗 Caller 21.

3:22🔗 Adam What's up?

3:23🔗 Caller I got problems.

3:24🔗 Adam All right. What are they?

3:26🔗 Caller I've been seeing this girl, known each other for about seven months, met her in school. We go out, having some fun, and we start kissing tonight for the first time. One thing leads to another. I'm having fun with her, she's having fun with me. We kind of wrap things up. Next thing she tells me is we talk about people we've been with. She comes out and says, By the way, I've got a VD, and I start freaking out. She tells me she's got her piece in.

4:00🔗 Drew Alright, hold on a second. Let's just talk about this guy for a second. Is he one of those guys for whom, one of those guys that ruins it for all men as women? Is that just what I'm reacting to right now?

4:12🔗 Adam Well first I thought maybe it's a bogus call.

4:14🔗 Drew I'm reading bogus.

4:14🔗 Adam But then I realized there's certain guys where everything that comes out of their mouth sounds bogus.

4:19🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

4:20🔗 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

4:20🔗 Drew Yeah, it all sounds like BS.

4:22🔗 Adam Right, and maybe it's the way they relate to other guys, and maybe it's because we're men, or I get the feeling they do it with women too, but they sound like you use car salesmen.

4:29🔗 Drew Exactly. So, yeah.

4:32🔗 Adam They end up becoming weathermen and politicians when they're older.

4:35🔗 Drew Let's just say, if it's true, let's not even get back with them. If it's true, you've had contact with somebody that may or may not be contagious, herpes can be contagious even when they don't have symptoms, and you didn't wear a condom, I presume, or even if you did, that's a disease you can possibly get through sexual contact, and you'll know in the next few weeks. You'll get a rash, you won't feel good.

4:51🔗 Adam Yeah, you will, and then you'll know it for the rest of your life. But how do you know if he's talking about oral or genital herpes?

4:58🔗 Drew It kind of doesn't matter, but...

5:00🔗 Adam Doesn't?

5:00🔗 Drew It sounds like I don't want to talk to him anymore, but go ahead, all right.

5:03🔗 Adam I know, there are certain guys that give me the creeps. Johnny, what's up there? Yeah, that's the one they do.

5:09🔗 Wee, yeah, ooh.

5:12🔗 Adam Now, does she have oral herpes or genital herpes?

5:16🔗 Caller I don't know. I'm freaking out here. I'm trying to...

5:19🔗 Adam No, no, no, bogus. What do you mean, you don't know? I've got herpes. The woman announces after you're done with your sexual conquest. You don't ask which one upstairs or downstairs.

5:29🔗 Drew Did he say she was a stancer or something, a stripper?

5:31🔗 Adam No, I think he said it was a friend of hers or his, but...

5:35🔗 Drew Whatever.

5:36🔗 Adam Whatever the reason is, it's either bogus or he'll just have to ride it out.

5:42🔗 Drew Either way, he's going to figure this out. He'll find out in time. And if he gets something there, medicines that can shorten the duration.

5:46🔗 Adam There's nothing he can do right now.

5:47🔗 Drew Nothing he can do, period.

5:48🔗 Adam And he probably doesn't have it.

5:50🔗 Drew That's probably true.

5:51🔗 Adam Thank you. Jenna?

5:53🔗 Yeah.

5:53🔗 Adam 24. What's up?

5:55🔗 Hey, guys.

5:56🔗 Adam Hey.

5:56🔗 I really like that unibrow you got going.

5:58🔗 Adam Thank you. My unibrow? Yeah. Let me defend my unibrow for a second. Technically, it is two brows. It would be better to be one brow because now it's two huge brows.

6:12🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:13🔗 That's right.

6:13🔗 Adam Instead of one huge brow.

6:14🔗 Drew Yeah, you're right. You put two caterpillars side by side, end to end, you still have two caterpillars.

6:19🔗 Adam Thank you, Drew.

6:20🔗 Well, I like it anyway.

6:22🔗 Adam Thank you.

6:23🔗 Anyways, my question is for you, Dr. Drew.

6:25🔗 Yeah.

6:27🔗 I'm 24 and I have really large breasts. I wear a 32E to double E. Anything past like double D is pointless. Put a number on.

6:38🔗 Drew Yeah, and then to double it up is even weirder.

6:40🔗 Right.

6:41🔗 Drew Right, Adam.

6:43🔗 Adam I'll never understand that with the bra manufacturers. In what other universe and what other unit of measurement do we double up one of the numbers like, well, that one's a 45 and this one's a 45, 45, 45, five. No, you go to 46 if it's bigger. And like in high school.

7:02🔗 Drew And then return to the previous digital system.

7:06🔗 Adam Right. Like in high school, if you didn't get a C on a test, you did a little better, you got a B on a test. You didn't get a C, C, C, B. You just one up, just go to the next thing. Whatever letters after E, and I don't have a scratch pad in front of me, so I can't figure it out right now. But whatever the next letter is, just go to it.

7:27🔗 Drew Barbara, what's your question?

7:28🔗 All right. I was referred by my family doctor to a surgeon for breast reduction, but I haven't been to see him yet. Okay. I have a twin sister, she's not my identical twin, and she wears a 32C. So I'm trying to get somewhere along that line.

7:48🔗 Drew It turns out most women when they go for, actually if they're going up or going down, C is usually the desired target in majority of women.

7:54🔗 Okay. My question is, am I going to have any kind of like profound blood clotting that I should worry about or?

8:03🔗 Drew Do you have a blood disorder?

8:05🔗 No, I don't have a blood disorder, but when I asked my family doctor, he kind of hummed around a little bit.

8:11🔗 Drew What are you asking? Is this a surgery and are there surgical complications? Of course.

8:15🔗 Right. And you know, is there a lot of scarring?

8:17🔗 Drew There is scarring.

8:18🔗 And things like that.

8:19🔗 Drew There is scarring, there's the risk of anesthesia. It's a surgery. It's a risk of infection, risk of blood loss.

8:25🔗 And so do, I mean, do people get through it usually pretty well?

8:28🔗 Drew No, every single one dies.

8:29🔗 Adam Well, no. 100% of breast reduction. No, like 85 to 90% of the patients expire on the table.

8:34🔗 Drew You're right.

8:34🔗 Adam Exactly. It's not 100%.

8:36🔗 Drew Exactly.

8:38🔗 Adam I knew someone who knew someone who lived through one of these surgeries.

8:40🔗 Drew Through a breast reduction?

8:43🔗 Adam She's in a wheelchair now, but she lived. Technically, she needs assistance breathing, but she's living. She paints with her mouth.

8:51🔗 Drew Janet, it's a common procedure. We're making light of your concerns, which are realistic, right?

8:57🔗 Yeah. I'm a little nervous about it.

8:59🔗 Drew It's a real surgery. However, if you're having things like neck pain, back pain, deep bra strap, roof, orthopedic problems, it's worth that risk.

9:07🔗 Adam Listen, I'd like to get back to these boobs.

9:11🔗 Drew Oh, it's right at 32.

9:12🔗 Adam How tall are you?

9:14🔗 I'm 5'10. I'm 129 pounds.

9:16🔗 Adam Oh my.

9:17🔗 That is not radio math. That is true.

9:20🔗 Adam 5'10.

9:21🔗 I'm almost, I feel kind of creakish with these big breasts.

9:24🔗 Adam Right. I'm that way with my brows.

9:28🔗 Drew And you're intellect, Adam, after all.

9:29🔗 Adam That's right. I have to carry around this huge intellect. 5'10, 130? 129. Well, all right. We'll just say, we'll say you had a big meal tonight. We'll round up to 130, okay? 5'10, 130 and a 32 EE. I mean, that's, that's, that's, that's like something like a drawing from that. I would have drawn when I was in the fifth grade, fifth grade. I would have drawn when I was 28. That's crazy. I mean, what do you look like in a bathing suit?

9:58🔗 Well, that's another problem that's very irritating. I mean, I can buy like a size small to medium bottom, and it's almost impossible to find a top that doesn't look like paint with strings on it.

10:10🔗 Adam Right.

10:10🔗 Wow.

10:11🔗 Adam What kind of shape are they in?

10:14🔗 I think they're a pretty good shape. I mean, they don't have like the oranges in the pantyhose type of...

10:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

10:21🔗 You know what I'm saying there?

10:22🔗 Drew What's that?

10:23🔗 Adam Orange in the pantyhose, the sock.

10:26🔗 Drew I see.

10:26🔗 Adam You see what I'm saying? Saying they're fairly firm.

10:29🔗 Yeah, they are firm.

10:31🔗 Adam Wow, that's crazy.

10:33🔗 So I'm glad of that. At least it's not real bad. But I ride a lot of horses, and it's caused some pain. I like to see that. Yeah.

10:40🔗 Adam Yeah. What do you do for a living?

10:43🔗 Right now, I work at a library, but I'm a six-year vet student. I'm getting ready to transfer out to Phoenix for my internship.

10:49🔗 Adam Wow, cool. Do you have a boyfriend?

10:52🔗 Not right now, I don't.

10:54🔗 Adam Do you worry about guys just chasing you for those big, juicy, beautiful breasts of yours?

10:59🔗 Sometimes I do.

11:01🔗 Adam Okay. All right.

11:02🔗 It's not too much of a problem.

11:04🔗 Adam Okay. Hey, listen, if you have the surgery, you got to take a before picture, you know?

11:08🔗 Sure.

11:08🔗 Drew And send it to Adam.

11:09🔗 Adam Yeah, and send it to me.

11:10🔗 Hey, we've got some pictures of us, my friends and I, doing the girls on trampolines. We like to do that over here.

11:17🔗 Adam Oh, really?

11:18🔗 Yeah. I almost killed myself when I tried it, but we've got pictures.

11:21🔗 I can understandably.

11:22🔗 Adam All right, baby. Good times.

11:24🔗 All right. Well, thanks, friends, for my question.

11:26🔗 Adam All right. If you talk to a specialist, you'll be fine.

11:29🔗 All righty.

11:30🔗 Adam All righty. All right.

11:31🔗 Drew Adam will shed a tear.

11:32🔗 Adam He likes to ride horses.

11:35🔗 Drew That could be a new man show.

11:38🔗 Adam Thirty-two double E's crazy with the brass. See, like I was explaining to the last night kiddies, a small first number and then up the alphabet a little bit on the second and you're in real fine shape. I'll just give you an example. Worst case scenario is a 42A, right? So you do the math. Nathan, you're 17. What's up?

12:05🔗 Caller Well, my 13 year old sister is a slut.

12:09🔗 Drew That's funny?

12:10🔗 Caller Well, no. The phrase is, but...

12:15🔗 Adam What's she doing?

12:16🔗 Caller Well, she's sleeping with any guy that will.

12:20🔗 Drew She has sex with them?

12:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:22🔗 Drew All right, Nathan. So she's got... She's disturbed. She has a problem. Was she sexually abused or anything when she was growing up?

12:27🔗 Caller Not that I know of.

12:28🔗 Drew Physically abused?

12:30🔗 Caller No.

12:31🔗 Adam Well, how do you know she's sleeping with everybody?

12:33🔗 Caller Well, because everybody just around just talks about it and whatnot. It's like, oh, she's your sister?

12:39🔗 Drew Yeah, but guys talk about a lot of stuff.

12:41🔗 Caller Well, girls do too, though.

12:43🔗 Adam Yeah, that's a pain in the ass, though.

12:45🔗 Drew Yeah, but doesn't... People can get a reputation without actually doing the things they're supposed to.

12:49🔗 Adam So is she embarrassing you?

12:50🔗 Caller To an extent.

12:52🔗 Drew So you're not worried about her? Are you worried about your own reputation? Well, no.

12:55🔗 Caller I'm mainly worried about her, though, because I'm just thinking that's a little young for that kind of thing.

12:59🔗 Drew Absolutely. And it suggests there's something very wrong, that she is really unhappy and trying to manage that with these sexual forays.

13:06🔗 Adam Where's your dad?

13:08🔗 Caller He lives on the other side of the country.

13:10🔗 Drew Why'd he leave?

13:12🔗 Caller He got kicked out by my mother.

13:14🔗 Drew Why?

13:14🔗 Caller He was abusive, alcoholic.

13:16🔗 Drew Didn't you say there was no abuse?

13:18🔗 Caller Well, he abused my mother, but he never abused us.

13:21🔗 Adam All right.

13:21🔗 Drew Well, that's enough. Those kinds of traumas can be sexualized. They typically are sexualized.

13:27🔗 Adam That's a form of abuse when you watch your mom getting the crap beat out of her by some drunken dad.

13:32🔗 Drew Of course.

13:33🔗 Adam And furthermore, Nathan, here's the thing. First off, if you could get laid, you'd get laid all the time, too. You just can't do it. So you can't hold it. That's true. See, as a guy, we want to act out. So what do we do? Just go home and masturbate feverishly. I mean, you with me, Nathan? Yeah. It kind of sucks, which is, you know, they both had the same abusive dad.

13:56🔗 Drew Right.

13:57🔗 Adam And I'm sure they would both love to act out. The problem with Nathan is there's no takers.

14:03🔗 Drew Right.

14:03🔗 Adam And the other one, with the sister, she can do all the acting out she wants, and everyone's receptive to that because there's always plenty of guys with boners.

14:13🔗 Drew We were doing a little news interview before we got on the air tonight, and that's one of the things that troubles me so much. Guys have no idea that when women do that, that they are contributing to something harmful. They just think, hey, it's a horny girl. She likes sex just as much as I do. Isn't that great?

14:27🔗 Adam I know. But you'll watch pornography and not worry about the feelings of the person that's being depicted in the film. You'll-

14:37🔗 Drew That stuff disturbs me. It really does.

14:38🔗 Adam I know. But you still whack off to it every night. Every night. Not every night. Every night. Every night. No, you think about this stuff all the time. I mean, you'll cheat on your taxes and not worry about, not think twice about it. These are semi-victimless crimes in a sense. I know there's a person here. I know that wasn't the right terminology. But you're horny, you're drunk, you're at a party and there's a chick coming on to you and you're worried about her?

15:10🔗 Drew I think most guys, if they really understood what that all meant, they'd take a beat and they might not be as apt to act out with it. They at least wouldn't think to themselves, hey, this chick's just into sex as much as I am. How great, she's into this.

15:22🔗 Adam You got the mind of a 40-year-old doctor. If you had and the genitalia of a 75-year-old rabbi. You see, if you had the mind and genitalia of a 16-year-old guy from Ohio.

15:38🔗 Drew You wouldn't care?

15:39🔗 Adam No, you wouldn't care. You might the next day. It's not going to stop you from doing it.

15:43🔗 Drew All right, well, but ultimately might it move things in the right direction for people that are acting out?

15:48🔗 Adam It couldn't hurt. I'll give you that. Nathan?

15:52🔗 Drew That's the 75-year-old rabbi genitalia speaker.

15:54🔗 Right.

15:55🔗 Adam It's all right.

15:56🔗 Drew Good night.

15:57🔗 Adam Good night. So Nathan, does she ever listen to this show?

16:04🔗 Caller Sometimes, a whole lot though.

16:06🔗 Adam Well, she's busy having sex.

16:07🔗 Drew Yeah.

16:08🔗 Adam Can you talk to her? What have you told her?

16:10🔗 Caller She doesn't listen to me.

16:11🔗 Drew Yeah. But what about talking to your mom about getting her some help?

16:14🔗 Caller Well, I suppose I could do that.

16:17🔗 Drew Listen, you got to think about this in terms of it being potentially even life-saving for her. I mean, you're really contributing to her health. You're not narking on her. You're not tattling. You're just concerned about her. And you got to tell an adult who can actually do something about this.

16:30🔗 All right.

16:30🔗 Drew All right?

16:31🔗 Caller Okay.

16:31🔗 Adam All right, Nathan.

16:32🔗 All right.

16:32🔗 Caller Thanks.

16:33🔗 Take care of yourself.

16:34🔗 Drew Hey, Nathan, hang on a sec. Like, Damien, it's so funny. We get a number that when a call back, see how it's going a couple of weeks.

16:40🔗 Adam Oh, look at her. As soon as we put a news camera in here, now suddenly cares. Normally be good riddance. I got to take a leak.

16:47🔗 Drew I do have to take a leak. We go finish. All right.

16:51🔗 Adam Let's see. Liz.

16:53🔗 Hi.

16:53🔗 Adam You're 21.

16:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:55🔗 I have a question to ask you, Drew. I've been on the pill for about three years. And last month for the first time, I missed my period. Is that something that's normal when you're on the pill for that long?

17:05🔗 Drew How long have you been on the pill? I'm sorry.

17:07🔗 Three years.

17:08🔗 Drew Three years. And you missed a period all of a sudden.

17:10🔗 Yeah.

17:10🔗 Drew Had you taken the pill properly that preceding month?

17:13🔗 I missed. Not that I missed a day, but I lost the pills and I had to start a new pack, but I thought I started on the right day and everything.

17:22🔗 Drew You probably didn't. Is there any chance you're pregnant?

17:26🔗 I had sex during that time.

17:28🔗 Drew Did you check a pregnancy test?

17:30🔗 Yeah. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. That was three weeks ago and I didn't feel nothing.

17:35🔗 Adam Feel free to put that part in front of the part where you had sex.

17:38🔗 Drew Yeah. Exactly. It's the world's dumbest policy in the show.

17:41🔗 Adam We really don't.

17:42🔗 Drew I think next cycle, next go around, you'll have a period.

17:45🔗 Okay. Is it normal to miss when you're on the pill though?

17:47🔗 Drew It's not uncommon for there to be bleeding, missing, things can happen, especially if you're messing around with the dosing or the type of pill you're taking. Sure.

17:54🔗 Adam All right, baby.

17:55🔗 Drew Okay.

17:56🔗 Adam Take care of yourself. Good times. Stay on that pill. You think you may be pregnant? Well, I have had sex during that time period. Yes. Oh, you take a pregnancy? Yeah, negative. It's like, are we talking?

18:09🔗 Drew Loveline caller. Loveline caller.

18:11🔗 Adam I know, but how many people are we talking to? It's the same person, isn't it? Like they go, oh, man, oh, boy, when's dinner? You hungry? No, just saying. It's like, how does the mind work that way?

18:26🔗 It's not working.

18:27🔗 Adam What's the problem? No one has less education than I do. Nobody.

18:30🔗 Drew Here, here. Yes. I'll vouch for that.

18:32🔗 Adam Feral children who were raised in the wild by wolves.

18:35🔗 Drew Yeah. Far greater education. Better language skills, too.

18:39🔗 Adam That's right. That's true. All right. Let me just say hi to Christina. Christina?

18:47🔗 Caller Hello?

18:47🔗 Adam You're 15. What's up?

18:50🔗 Caller Yes. There's this guy that I was like dating. And he was like dissing my ex-boyfriend stuff and saying that his like dick was like bigger than his but it really is not. His is like, well, like, okay. One night, me and my sister, we decided to go over these guys' houses, you know? And we weren't really going to do anything, you know? I was going out with him, you know, off and on and stuff.

19:20🔗 Drew Christina, who's all that carrying on in the background?

19:23🔗 Caller My sister.

19:24🔗 Drew Just your sister? She sounds like about eight girls.

19:27🔗 Caller No, it's probably the TV. And we like snuck over there, like in the middle of the night. And we didn't think anything was going to happen, you know? And I asked him to go get me a drink. And it took him like twenty minutes to get me a drink of water. And the kitchen is like right by his room.

19:46🔗 Adam So it's only about a fifteen minute walk to the kitchen and it took him twenty.

19:50🔗 Drew I think there's some dastardly deed being done here that she walked into.

19:54🔗 Adam So what happened?

19:55🔗 Caller Well he like bought me this cup back of water and it looked kind of milky looking. He goes, it's just a pipe. You know, so I didn't think anything of it. And I like drank the water, you know. And we were laying down. And we were just like watching TV and then I started like feeling funny and everything. And then all of a sudden he was like on top of me taking my clothes off and everything.

20:19🔗 Drew Right.

20:19🔗 Caller And before I realized it, we were having sex with like in like 10 minutes of being there.

20:24🔗 Drew How old was he?

20:25🔗 Caller He's like 17.

20:27🔗 Drew So you think he drugged you?

20:28🔗 Caller I think he did.

20:29🔗 Drew Okay.

20:30🔗 Adam Is it?

20:31🔗 Caller I went back to his house and he don't live there no more. He like is gone.

20:36🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. He doesn't live there anymore?

20:39🔗 Caller He don't live there no more.

20:40🔗 Adam I mean no more.

20:41🔗 Drew Does his family live there?

20:43🔗 Adam No more.

20:43🔗 Caller His family don't live there. He was just staying there with his friend. He moved to Godley, I think.

20:48🔗 Adam He's out in Godley now?

20:50🔗 Drew I think so, yeah.

20:51🔗 Adam Godley. Ironically, Satan's country.

20:53🔗 Drew At least it's in Godley's territory.

20:55🔗 Adam Well, he's over in Godley. He's doing all right. Where are you out in Beaumont?

21:00🔗 Caller Cleveland.

21:01🔗 Adam Cleveland. Godley is what?

21:03🔗 Drew 30 minutes.

21:04🔗 Adam Well, as the crow flies, it's probably about 20 miles, but if traffic gets going, it's about 30, 35 minutes, right?

21:12🔗 Caller Yeah. And my sister, his friend, like did something with her, you know, because they both went into the kitchen and got their water and stuff.

21:20🔗 Adam Yeah. Right. Hold on a second, Christina. Didn't you say this guy was sort of your boyfriend or you sort of went out with him?

21:29🔗 Caller Well, yeah, but we were kind of like going out on and off and stuff.

21:34🔗 Adam Yeah.

21:34🔗 Drew This doesn't make any sense.

21:35🔗 Adam Had you slept with him before?

21:38🔗 Caller Nuh-uh.

21:40🔗 Drew How did you know this guy? Where did you know him from?

21:42🔗 Caller A friend. He said that he seen me one day talking to my friends.

21:47🔗 Drew And you were going out with a guy you don't even know?

21:51🔗 Caller Oh, I know him.

21:53🔗 Drew And he disappears one day?

21:54🔗 Caller Well, he said that it was like over and then I went over there to talk to him. And you know, he was gone.

22:02🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

22:02🔗 Drew Why am I so bewildered?

22:04🔗 Adam Because here's the deal. Christina is swimming, like her mind is swimming.

22:09🔗 Drew Our mind is now too.

22:10🔗 Adam And so now we're treading water too. Christina? Is life confusing for you?

22:18🔗 Caller Yeah, no, in a way.

22:20🔗 Adam Yeah, because you're not kind of sure like who's your friend and who's your boyfriend and...

22:24🔗 Caller Yeah, see, and there's this other guy that I was going out with. He was like real sweet and everything. And he'd do anything in the world for me.

22:31🔗 Adam Right.

22:32🔗 Drew Ask her the pertinent questions.

22:33🔗 Adam Okay, well, let's get to the real questions. Where's daddy and how can I kill him for what he did?

22:40🔗 Drew What did he do to you?

22:41🔗 Caller He didn't do anything to me.

22:42🔗 Adam Where is he?

22:43🔗 Caller He's in bed.

22:45🔗 Adam In bed where? In prison?

22:46🔗 Caller No, with my mom.

22:48🔗 Adam Yeah. What's he do? What's he do? Drive a truck?

22:52🔗 Caller Yeah, he's a truck driver. He like yells at me sometimes.

22:57🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm sure.

22:58🔗 Adam What happens to the part of life where people go...

23:01🔗 Drew How'd you know that?

23:01🔗 Adam How'd you know that?

23:02🔗 Drew How about Godly being 35 minutes away? She didn't come back to that either.

23:06🔗 Adam What did he do? Make the haul from Godly out to...

23:09🔗 Drew Beaumont?

23:10🔗 Adam No, she's not in Beaumont. She's in Cleveland.

23:13🔗 Caller I have no idea.

23:15🔗 Drew All right, Christina, so your dad's abusive, yes?

23:17🔗 Caller No, sometimes he's mean to me and stuff.

23:20🔗 Drew Does he ever hit you?

23:21🔗 Caller Sometimes, when I do stuff wrong. And one day I ran away.

23:26🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm sure. Kids only run away when parents are abusing them. That's when they ran away.

23:30🔗 Caller I told my parents, I said, I want to get away from here. I wanted to go to boot camp. I'd rather stay there than be here.

23:36🔗 Drew We understand that, but you're creating your own boot camp life here with these bizarre tales of these guys you don't know who are abusing you just the way your dad has abused you.

23:46🔗 Adam Well, so do you feel like you were raped?

23:48🔗 Caller Oh, I feel like that by that one guy was this other guy that I went out with.

23:52🔗 Drew I can't help it too.

23:53🔗 Adam Was there another? Listen, Christina, Christina, let me explain to you. Do you listen to this show?

24:01🔗 Caller All the time.

24:01🔗 Adam Good. And you learn things, right? And you know that you're off to a start that we're not too happy about.

24:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

24:10🔗 Adam And we don't blame you.

24:11🔗 Drew And we understand why, too, right?

24:14🔗 Adam Your dad's a jackass, okay? And yes, you know him right.

24:20🔗 Caller Yeah, he's getting rid of my horse.

24:23🔗 Adam He's getting rid of your horse.

24:24🔗 Caller Yeah, man, I like that horse. I finally got one.

24:27🔗 Adam Well, now, hold on, though. It's not the same, like, Drew, your kid wants a horse. But Christina was using it for transportation.

24:33🔗 Drew I see.

24:34🔗 Adam It's really like selling your car, where she's from, right?

24:37🔗 Caller Yeah, he sold my car.

24:39🔗 Adam All right, now you got to ride the mule. What is it, Christina, you got a horse?

24:45🔗 Caller I had one.

24:46🔗 Drew In Texas.

24:47🔗 Adam Okay. All right, look, these guys, watch out, be careful for guys. This is not daddy. You cannot fix what you had with daddy with some new drunken guy.

24:58🔗 Drew That's right. You were beaten by your dad because he's abusive, not because you did something wrong. Thinking you did something wrong and deserve that or caused that is just a way of staying in control and not feeling powerless in the face of this abusive a-hole and not unleashing the real tremendous rage you must have towards him.

25:15🔗 Caller I don't want to kill him.

25:16🔗 Well.

25:17🔗 Adam Okay. But look, you want to know how you pay your parents back? Hello?

25:24🔗 Let me see if you're paying them.

25:25🔗 Adam Look, here's how you pay your parents back.

25:27🔗 Drew Have a happy life.

25:28🔗 Adam You do well in high school, you score high on your SATs and you go far away to college, and then you make a bunch of money and you're happy and then you ignore them. Or you see them once twice a year like I do, you get loaded on red wine and tell them how rich you are.

25:46🔗 Drew That's what you do.

25:47🔗 Adam That's how you repay your parents.

25:48🔗 Drew There's an intermediate step here which is the fact that you were raped and you should report that to get treatment for that.

25:54🔗 Adam Right. Absolutely.

25:55🔗 Drew Of course, that treatment for the rape, I'm sure the rest of this will come out.

25:57🔗 Adam All right. Look, don't get pregnant. Please don't get pregnant.

26:02🔗 Drew If you have an unprotected-

26:05🔗 Adam That's it. I can't travel 25 years down the road with her. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

26:12🔗 Drew Hello? Is this Loveline?

26:13🔗 Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

26:46🔗 Caller Hi, this is Mark from Blink-182, and you are listening to Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew on Loveline. I have a really big dick.

26:54🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And we'll hop back on the phones and speak to Alan. There's 28. Alan?

27:08🔗 Hello.

27:09🔗 Adam Hello.

27:11🔗 Yeah, I got a question for Dr. Drew, but first of all, you guys do a great service in Adam. You're funny as hell.

27:18🔗 Adam Oh, thanks.

27:19🔗 Hey, are you going to Lakers' birthday party tomorrow?

27:22🔗 Adam No, no, I'm not. I wasn't invited, but furthermore, I'm actually driving out of town tomorrow morning, going to Yosemite for a wedding.

27:34🔗 Well, I didn't know if you guys hung out.

27:35🔗 You guys were all breast men, so I just...

27:39🔗 Adam I think Lakers talks a good breast story, but I'm the real McCoy here. I really do enjoy that.

27:45🔗 No argument there, but anyway, this is for Dr. Drew. Why is it that...

27:53🔗 Adam, I haven't been shirking on my jerking, but why is it that masturbation ejaculations are so inferior to the real thing when you're with a woman?

28:05🔗 Drew Alan, how old are you?

28:07🔗 Adam 28.

28:08🔗 Drew Adam, why does he sound 14?

28:10🔗 Adam I don't know. Maybe emotionally he's 14. He's talking about masturbating and he's talking about shirking with his jerking. Hey, Alan? Yeah. That's life. That's in order to give you incentive to get off the goddamn sofa and leave the house every once in a while. If masturbation was just as good as being with a woman...

28:31🔗 Drew You wouldn't be with a woman.

28:32🔗 Adam You'd never leave the house.

28:33🔗 Caller Right.

28:34🔗 Caller Dude, you'd beat off?

28:35🔗 Adam Do you understand?

28:37🔗 Caller Well...

28:37🔗 Adam That's God. That's God's incentive.

28:39🔗 Drew Yeah, it's nature. It's God. It's how it was meant to be.

28:42🔗 Oh, okay.

28:43🔗 Drew Okay.

28:44🔗 Adam What's up there, Alan? How are you doing in your life?

28:47🔗 Well, not as good as I'd like to.

28:49🔗 Drew What do you do for a living?

28:51🔗 I'm a construction worker.

28:53🔗 Drew Really? What kind of construction?

28:55🔗 What's that?

28:56🔗 Adam What type?

28:56🔗 Caller Apartment buildings.

28:58🔗 Adam You mean you're doing labor?

29:02🔗 Yeah, cheap labor.

29:03🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:03🔗 Drew Wait a minute. You're like a fix-it guy.

29:05🔗 Adam No, he's a goomper.

29:07🔗 He's a gopher.

29:08🔗 Adam He's cleaning up. It's funny, you know, Alan, boy, this is going to sound bad, but at 28, you're not supposed to be, you know, humping drywall scraps and picking up garbage.

29:20🔗 Drew Even though that's what you were doing at 28.

29:21🔗 Adam How dare you?

29:22🔗 Drew I guess by then you'd...

29:23🔗 Adam No, no, no, no. Listen, I knew that Alan wasn't even swinging a hammer. He's picking up garbage, you understand?

29:31🔗 Caller And I'm making runs for McDonald's.

29:33🔗 Adam Right. He's on the construction site. He's not even doing the construction. Do you understand that concept, Drew?

29:39🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. I'm wondering why not.

29:40🔗 Adam What's up? He just got into it. That's why.

29:44🔗 Drew But were you disabled for some reason for a while or?

29:46🔗 Caller No, I lost my telemarketer job.

29:49🔗 Oh, really?

29:50🔗 Adam Boy, with that voice? It's a wonder you lost. You figured they'd double your pay and keep you.

29:57🔗 No.

29:58🔗 Adam Okay. So...

29:59🔗 Well, I was just wondering if there was like a mental reason that it wasn't as good.

30:04🔗 Drew Yes. The mental reason is that it's hardly as complete an experience.

30:11🔗 Oh, so you're thinking because your mind knows you're not as stimulated.

30:14🔗 Adam Yes. There's no chick there. Do you understand? Look, why is sailing so much better than watching a program on sailing on PBS?

30:24🔗 Drew Even the IMAX isn't quite as good as actually climbing into a boat.

30:27🔗 Adam That's right. You're actually out on the open sea.

30:30🔗 Drew Okay.

30:31🔗 Adam And it smells the same.

30:32🔗 That's a stupid question.

30:33🔗 Adam No, that's all right, Alan. Are you drunk?

30:35🔗 No, I'm stoned.

30:36🔗 Adam Okay.

30:37🔗 Drew Well, that explains a lot.

30:39🔗 Adam Now listen, Alan. Yeah. Here's my plan for you, buddy. Okay. I want you to work your way up from goomper to glorified goomper.

30:51🔗 Drew He's there already.

30:52🔗 Adam You're already a glorified goomper. I want you to, each paycheck, I want you to buy a tool, okay? I want you to get, you guys, you guys doing framing? Yeah. They framing these apartments? Use those worm drive skill saws?

31:09🔗 Caller I've seen the other guys use them.

31:10🔗 Adam Yeah. Seven and a quarter inch blade. I want you to buy one.

31:14🔗 At Sears?

31:15🔗 Adam Yeah. And I want you to get your tool bags. I want you to buy some tool bags, all right? And I want you to start learning stuff around there.

31:23🔗 Mm, okay.

31:24🔗 Adam And before you know it, you'll be an apprentice, and you'll be doing some framing, okay?

31:30🔗 Drew That would be a triumph. That would be good.

31:32🔗 Adam All right, buddy?

31:33🔗 Caller Okay.

31:33🔗 Adam All right, good times.

31:34🔗 Caller Thanks.

31:35🔗 Adam All right.

31:35🔗 Drew Good time.

31:36🔗 Adam There you go. You know what's amazing about doing this radio show?

31:41🔗 Drew No, I don't know.

31:44🔗 Adam Even though, and you look at working on a construction side is a pretty lowly job, right? I mean, that's nothing.

31:50🔗 Drew No, I'm actually sort of in awe of it.

31:51🔗 Adam Nothing much to it. Well, what I mean is that-

31:53🔗 Drew I don't know this.

31:54🔗 Adam No, these are the dregs of society.

31:56🔗 Drew If you say it. You've always taught me that.

31:57🔗 Adam Yes, these are blue collar guys you would not want dating. These are guys, the guys who are on the construction side, things didn't work out for them.

32:04🔗 Drew Okay.

32:05🔗 Adam Now, I'm not talking about architect or Union Steel guy on some big casino.

32:10🔗 Drew Right.

32:11🔗 Adam I'm talking about framing an apartment building.

32:13🔗 Drew Okay.

32:14🔗 Adam Right? Even then, I could hear the difference between the guy who was swinging the hammer and the guy who was going on the Mickey D's run.

32:20🔗 Yeah.

32:22🔗 Adam You know what's always nice about going on that lunch run? I used to do that. You write the lunch order, scrap of plywood, it's not like there's a notepad hanging around there. It's not like people have a pen and a notepad. Never think about that. The thing about construction is, or carpentry, no phone, no paper, no pencil, no chairs. You end up writing it with a keel, which is basically a construction crayon on a 2x4 or a scrap of plywood, and then you always get it wrong.

32:51🔗 Drew It's like a paddle.

32:53🔗 Adam Yeah. Kevin? I mean, Ken? Yeah.

32:56🔗 What's up, man?

32:56🔗 Adam You're 24?

32:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:58🔗 Adam What's up?

33:00🔗 Caller Let me give you a brief profile before I give you my question. I was with this girl for like six, seven years when I was 16, and we had a kid together. Pretty much I went to prison at a young age.

33:12🔗 Drew Why?

33:13🔗 Caller Because I stole some starter coats. It was around that time when that was the end thing, and they made a big example out of me. Starter coats? I went to adult prison.

33:20🔗 Drew Hold on a second. One second.

33:21🔗 Adam Starter coats?

33:23🔗 Caller Yeah, starter coats like NBA, NFL.

33:26🔗 Adam I see, right?

33:27🔗 Drew Ken, thank you for being very clear and direct.

33:29🔗 Adam Yes. How many did you steal?

33:31🔗 Caller About three of them.

33:33🔗 Adam Three of them?

33:33🔗 Caller Yeah, but that's not the...

33:34🔗 Adam Hold on a second. No, wait a minute.

33:36🔗 Drew It interests us, though.

33:36🔗 Adam You did time for stealing some windbreakers?

33:39🔗 Drew Yeah, because they had a big example.

33:40🔗 Caller I used to small town.

33:42🔗 Drew It was a public execution scene.

33:44🔗 Caller Pretty much. Anyway...

33:46🔗 Drew Alright, alright. You had no previous...

33:47🔗 Adam You had to have a couple of priors in there.

33:49🔗 Caller No, actually I did. Maybe vandalism.

33:54🔗 Drew Everyone has vandalism, of course.

33:55🔗 Adam We had priors.

33:56🔗 Caller Spray paint, yeah.

33:58🔗 Caller Anyway...

33:59🔗 Adam I would fire my attorney, by the way, if I stole three windbreakers and ended up doing time.

34:03🔗 Caller I couldn't afford a good one, so it was quarter-pointed.

34:05🔗 Adam Okay.

34:05🔗 Caller They get paid regardless.

34:06🔗 Adam So how much time did you do?

34:08🔗 Caller I did about two years.

34:10🔗 Drew What?

34:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:11🔗 Adam Stealing windbreakers. I'm convinced with no...

34:13🔗 Caller Okay, I used a weapon, but, you know...

34:16🔗 Drew Oh, okay.

34:18🔗 Caller Anyway, so...

34:18🔗 Drew Oh, I'm still... Come on.

34:21🔗 Caller Well, I didn't cause anybody harm. Just I used a weapon, and it went from a simple burglary to an aggravated robbery.

34:27🔗 Adam There we go. Okay, now it's all...

34:30🔗 Caller Well, I could have robbed a bank and got the same amount of charge, I don't think.

34:33🔗 Adam Now, you would have done more time for a bank.

34:35🔗 Caller Exactly. Well, so that kind of messed up our relationship anyway. It went downhill. I started getting, like, this collection of pornography, and I just pretty much always had this thought that, you know, you don't go out and cheat because you don't want that to happen to you.

34:51🔗 Adam Right.

34:51🔗 Caller So I used that as my escape sexually because it wasn't really anything going on between me and my ex.

34:56🔗 Adam All right.

34:57🔗 Caller Well, I got with this new girl, man. She's hot. I mean, I was a bouncer at a club. She was a stripper there. You know, just good times. I've been with her for about a year and three months, but I haven't been able to shake this pornography kick. I mean, I like to, you know, we have great sex.

35:14🔗 Drew So one way of thinking about that kind of sexual compulsion is that you need to use arousal to avoid some sort of trauma. That early on, you were traumatized, you were either beaten or sexually abused or something. Wait, wait, wait, listen.

35:30🔗 Adam Yeah.

35:30🔗 Drew And then as a kid, kids will use things like headbanging and compulsing and stealing and truancy.

35:36🔗 Adam Headbanging?

35:37🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. What do you mean headbanging? They will do stuff just to arouse, to get away from the feelings.

35:42🔗 Adam Okay, but.

35:43🔗 Drew And then when they get puberty, pow! The arousal goes to sex.

35:46🔗 Adam Well, here's what I'm saying. I don't think Ken necessarily had to suffer any overt abuse. Uh-oh, Drew's going for his wallet, Ken. I'll gamble with you. Hang on. Hang on there, Ken. I'm saying it didn't have to be sexual or physical abuse. What I'm saying is, is he could be a guy who has some serious trouble with intimacy and he's using the pornography as a way to keep a barrier of intimacy between him and his girlfriend.

36:15🔗 Drew Except he talks about how involved they are, how hot it is, how great it is. Now, you're right, it may not be intimate. It may not be. There's a stripper who may also already have intimacy problems. You may not even have to worry about that because she's not capable of intimacy.

36:25🔗 Adam Right.

36:25🔗 Drew But to me, it's a pretty clear situation of compulsive need to arouse, to avoid affect, to avoid feelings.

36:32🔗 Adam Okay. So you want to gamble?

36:34🔗 Drew Well, let's just get it out of the cat's-gawd.

36:35🔗 Adam He was physically abused?

36:37🔗 Drew I'll say physically abused, yeah. Looks like a violent household.

36:40🔗 Adam Yeah. He's not going to admit anything. Then you're going to ask if dad ever swatted him and then you're going to claim victory.

36:46🔗 Drew Dad will have whooped him, yes.

36:47🔗 Adam Ken?

36:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:49🔗 Caller Well, first of all, see, my life's totally wrecked, man. I got a problem with marijuana too and I don't know who my dad is, to be honest. My mom, I guess it was a traumatizing time in her life, so she won't even tell me the man's first name.

37:00🔗 Adam Really? First name? You said the guy's name was Joe, like you'd be able to track him down?

37:06🔗 Caller I don't know. My mom doesn't bring it up.

37:08🔗 Adam Okay.

37:09🔗 Caller 24 and she don't know my old man.

37:10🔗 Adam Okay. Were you ever abused?

37:13🔗 Caller Not that I know of. I think, man, see, I kind of feel maybe I was sexually abused when I was younger, maybe fondled, I don't know, but it wasn't by my mother or anything. All right.

37:22🔗 Drew But somebody got to you.

37:23🔗 Caller I think. It was vague. It was as young, so you know, it could be, I don't want to say people have dreams like that.

37:28🔗 Drew No, no, Kenley don't.

37:29🔗 Caller Well, that would not, I would like to comment on it, because I don't know the details of if it ever happened.

37:34🔗 Drew Well, the behaviors you're manifesting now suggest that it happened.

37:38🔗 Adam Well, let's not freak the guy out.

37:40🔗 Caller Why?

37:41🔗 Drew It's helping him understand that.

37:42🔗 Adam I dated a stripper and liked some pornography myself, how dare you.

37:45🔗 Drew Well, I see. Here's what this is, Ken. Is that Adam is a compulsive pornography fiend and a masturbator.

37:51🔗 Adam Fiend, how dare you.

37:52🔗 Drew To discuss trauma in relation to that is completely impossible.

37:55🔗 Adam With the Fox News camera in here, how dare you bring up intimate details of my hobbies.

38:04🔗 Caller You got any Jenny Jameson?

38:05🔗 Adam Yeah, I do.

38:06🔗 Caller Yeah, I got to buy four or five of them anyway.

38:09🔗 Adam Look, Ken, let me say this. You got off to a bad start in life, you got into a little trouble, you paid your debt to society, you're trying to straighten yourself out, it's a job, I mean, it's work for you. You're going to have to work at it, you're going to have to work on getting off the weed, you're going to have to work on getting off the porn.

38:31🔗 Drew And most people don't stop this kind of thing because it's not having a clear effect on you until there is some stress, some decompensation. Maybe it might be a better way to deal with this by actually focusing on the pot and going to MA and doing a 12-step process through that, and then this issue will come out in the process of that treatment.

38:49🔗 Adam OK. Do not get your stripper girlfriend pregnant in the meantime.

38:53🔗 Drew Please.

38:54🔗 Adam Please do not do that.

38:56🔗 Drew Hey, look at my ma.

38:56🔗 Adam Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Let me just say hi to Mike. Mike's gay. We haven't talked to any gay guys tonight. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Mike?

39:07🔗 Yeah.

39:07🔗 Adam You're 18?

39:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:09🔗 Adam You're gay?

39:10🔗 Drew You're gay.

39:10🔗 Adam True. Please. You admitted it.

39:12🔗 Drew I'm cool.

39:13🔗 Adam Who are you in love with?

39:14🔗 Caller I'm not in love. No, my friend. Like my best friend, like I think she has like the biggest crush on me.

39:19🔗 Drew This is interesting. We never get it from the gay male's point of view.

39:23🔗 Caller I don't know what to do because I don't want to be like, hey, I don't like you.

39:26🔗 Drew Yeah. Got it.

39:27🔗 Adam Okay. So you're saying that your female, your female best friend is into you?

39:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:32🔗 Drew She wants to convert him.

39:33🔗 Adam Okay. She knows you're gay.

39:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:37🔗 Adam You don't want to get any cooties from her because she's a chick, right?

39:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:40🔗 Adam Okay. You know. Hold on. Is she cute? No. All right. But if she was, it wouldn't make a difference.

39:47🔗 Caller No, it wouldn't.

39:48🔗 Adam Okay. Hold on. Well, that's gay. All right.

39:50🔗 Drew Yeah.

39:51🔗 Adam All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to gay Mike. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Just heard my favorite public service announcement, the airplane turbulence one.

40:38🔗 Drew Yeah, childbirth.

40:39🔗 Adam Childbirth. Yeah. Now, here's the thing about this airplane turbulence thing.

40:45🔗 Drew Commercial. It's a public service announcement. Nobody else is hearing it except us.

40:48🔗 Adam Right. It warns you to do things. They tell you not to drink and drive and not to fall asleep behind the wheel and that kind of stuff. But this particular one warns you about airplane turbulence, and I'm sure that's a problem that's touched many of us. I mean, we all know someone who's died in airplane turbulence. I lost my family in a rough ride from LA to Denver. But they give you examples like football, rollerblading, and childbirth as things your bodies were meant to take. So here's a question I have for the people who drafted that up. How many women die in airplane turbulence?

41:23🔗 Drew As compared.

41:24🔗 Adam As compared to childbirth each year? What do you think, Drew? Would you say more? More in airplane turbulence?

41:31🔗 Drew Approach infinity or zero depending how you set it up.

41:35🔗 Adam How many people died nationally last year in airplane turbulence related injuries? Do you think the people died? Did anybody die? Has anyone ever heard a story of that? No. But thousands of women die giving birth every year. Wouldn't you say, Drew? Yeah. In football, they use football as an example of one of the things your body is meant to do.

41:55🔗 Drew Let's send this over to the Minnesota Vikings.

41:57🔗 Adam That's right.

41:58🔗 Drew See what they think about this.

41:59🔗 Adam A guy died two days ago playing football. That's right. In rollerblading.

42:03🔗 Unexpected turbulence. Happily, though, planes are built to withstand that really well. All you have to do is wear your safety belt the entire flight.

42:11🔗 Drew Your what? Your what?

42:13🔗 Adam Your safety belt.

42:14🔗 Drew What's that?

42:15🔗 Adam I don't know. I've not heard of that.

42:17🔗 Drew I hope they demonstrate it when you climb into an aircraft.

42:20🔗 Adam I think they're doing that now. You know the woman who gives you the food? The stewardess, are they called?

42:28🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

42:28🔗 Adam She says something about putting on your safety belt. I think toward the beginning of the flight, and sometimes the pilot will mention it, oh, maybe 40 or 50 times in a 10-minute flight.

42:41🔗 Drew And flash a light.

42:42🔗 Adam And flash a light. And yell at you if your belt is not buckled.

42:46🔗 Drew Over your blanket while you try to sleep.

42:48🔗 Adam Over your blanket when you try to sleep. There you go. But it's important to keep those PSAs rolling. Mike? Yeah. Gay Mike?

42:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:55🔗 Adam 18?

42:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:56🔗 Drew You're gay. Yeah.

42:58🔗 Adam And you have a...

42:59🔗 Drew He's gay and like delighted about it. Yeah. I like that.

43:03🔗 Adam Yeah. You're the kind of gay I like.

43:05🔗 Caller Okay.

43:06🔗 Adam Not that angry militant lost my sense of humor gay.

43:09🔗 Caller No, not at all.

43:10🔗 Adam But that young carefree gay.

43:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:13🔗 Adam Yeah. You're gay and gay.

43:15🔗 Caller I'm gay and gay as cum.

43:17🔗 Adam No, but I mean, you got the traditional meaning of the word gay like from the 40s musicals.

43:22🔗 Caller Oh, probably. I don't even know what to say.

43:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Happy and gay. You know what I'm saying?

43:25🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

43:26🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. So your best friend likes you. She's a she.

43:30🔗 Caller Yeah. It's a girl.

43:31🔗 Drew What? You talked to her about this openly?

43:33🔗 Caller No, because like, I don't know what to say.

43:34🔗 Drew What did she say to you exactly? Like, I love you. I want to be, you know, want to, you know, what?

43:38🔗 Caller Like, it's not direct. It's like, okay, like she'll be like, oh, like you do that. Like, have you ever heard of like, if you mess with your hair, you like that person when you're messing with your hair in front of them. And she'll like start playing with her hair. And she'll be like, oh, if you do this with your hand, like gestures, that means you like this person. You're attracted to them.

43:56🔗 Adam So, maybe she has a scalp condition.

43:58🔗 Caller And then like we're right there and she's like doing all this stuff. And I'm like, okay, well, you just told me this. Why are you doing it now?

44:03🔗 Adam All right. So she's got a crush on you.

44:05🔗 Caller And then like whenever we go shopping or something, like, well, we'll go to the store and be like, hey, buy me this. She's like, all right.

44:11🔗 Drew First of all, any, how old is she? 16, 18?

44:14🔗 Caller No, she's 18 like me.

44:15🔗 Drew An 18-year-old girl that could get a male to go shopping with her. No wonder she falls in love.

44:19🔗 Caller What happened?

44:20🔗 Drew Right? Right. By the way, we're talking about a gay male. Who wouldn't? An 18-year-old female would like a gay male.

44:26🔗 Adam Of course. All right.

44:27🔗 Drew They're far superior, right?

44:30🔗 Adam You have powers more than a mortal man does.

44:33🔗 Drew Oh, cool.

44:34🔗 Adam Hey, Mike. Yeah. Don't worry about it.

44:37🔗 Drew She'll be all right, but do set boundaries with her. You don't have to make her feel bad about her feelings.

44:41🔗 Caller But yeah, I just want to know how to tell her not mean.

44:46🔗 Drew That is great, but you're missing something. Make jokes about it. You've got a good sense of humor.

44:50🔗 Adam Let's talk about when you see a guy and just go, oh, man, would I love to blow him.

44:58🔗 Caller Oh, I do. But then she likes to talk crap about my boyfriend.

45:02🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

45:02🔗 Caller She's dissing my man and I'm like, oh, OK, yeah.

45:06🔗 Adam How old is your man?

45:07🔗 Caller He's 19.

45:08🔗 Adam OK. Well, look, don't hang around with her if she disses your man. I don't care. Mike doesn't have a real problem. You know, Mike, Mike is saying chicks and dudes dig me. You know, that call was I'm gay and chicks still dig me. I could potentially get more ass than your heterosexual ass could ever get at 18, especially. Oh, yeah. That would have been a good angle. I'm going to tell that to my kid. Look, if you're 17 and you ain't getting any yet, it's time to start spreading the news. Because you're gay. Rachel?

45:41🔗 Caller Yes?

45:42🔗 Adam I bet you get some curiosity sex. And if not, you have a good excuse as to why you're not getting laid. What's up, Rachel? 30?

45:50🔗 Caller 30? Yeah. Newly single.

45:54🔗 Adam Right.

45:54🔗 Caller I'm not newly single. I was married for five years and was ready to be out after two.

46:00🔗 Adam That's great.

46:01🔗 Caller But I was never sexually satisfied during that time. So I did a lot of manual masturbation.

46:09🔗 Adam Fine.

46:10🔗 Caller And it wasn't until about six months ago that when I masturbated, I would get, when I had an orgasm, I would get these pains shooting up inside of me.

46:26🔗 Drew All right.

46:27🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Sometimes I think we can squeeze another call in before we're going to run.

46:32🔗 Drew And then you come to your senses.

46:33🔗 Adam I was married for five years. Should have only been married for two. And then, I just stared at the clock. Gosh, we'll talk to her when we get back. Shooting pains with the masturbation. We'll be back.

46:58🔗 Caller Um, back in a minute.

47:37🔗 Love Line, fast growing outlaw radio, North America! What?

47:43🔗 Adam That was good. I mean, I was taken by surprise. I was taken by surprise a little there, but I think I still pulled it off, right, Anderson? I think you're reacting to the fact that I wasn't prepared. But I think for the people, the listeners at home, it sounded pretty good, right?

47:57🔗 Drew People. All right.

47:58🔗 Adam For the people.

47:59🔗 Drew Let's get right to it.

47:59🔗 Adam Speaking of the people, let me tell you, too. We may work for, what do we work for?

48:07🔗 Drew Viacom, CPS.

48:07🔗 Adam Viacom, Infinity, is that what we work for? But let me tell you who employs me, the people. The people who listen to this show.

48:15🔗 Drew You've always been a man of the people.

48:17🔗 Adam Those are my bosses.

48:18🔗 Drew Yes, and that's the cash register.

48:20🔗 Adam That's right. Because they make it possible. You understand? It's you, you stoners sitting home, you kids who hate your parents, you kids that are going nowhere, who call this show night after night, who worship me like the god I think I am. You are my boss. You are what makes it possible for me to come here night after night and yell at you. Thank you. All right. Rachel?

48:49🔗 Caller Yes?

48:50🔗 Drew So.

48:50🔗 Adam Thirty.

48:51🔗 Drew So you get shooting pains when you masturbate?

48:54🔗 Caller Yes.

48:54🔗 Drew Are you putting something inside of yourself?

48:56🔗 Caller Nope. Do you have pains when you just when I just use my fingers and my clit?

49:03🔗 Drew If you have sex, do you get pain?

49:05🔗 Caller No, not at all.

49:06🔗 Drew Do you orgasm when you have sex?

49:07🔗 Caller Yes. Only when I'm on top. But then I get that I get that same type of feeling before I would. When I masturbate manually, I can I know when I get a feeling that it's going to hurt.

49:20🔗 Drew What is that feeling?

49:24🔗 Caller It starts to get hot and a little bit numb. Not anywhere near myself, but I feel it on the inside.

49:32🔗 Drew All right. So it might be like a spasm of what's called the pubococcygeal muscle. There's a muscle in there that can spasm and feel uncomfortable. It will give you kind of a visceral pain.

49:39🔗 Caller And then when I have that same feeling when I'm having sex, instead of getting the pain, I'll have this overwhelming urge to cry.

49:51🔗 Adam What's up, baby? Anything up with you?

49:57🔗 Caller I'm going through a divorce, but I never had sex with him hardly.

50:02🔗 Adam I know.

50:02🔗 Drew I know.

50:03🔗 Adam You're sure angry at this guy.

50:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

50:06🔗 Adam You hate this guy, don't you?

50:08🔗 Caller Pretty much.

50:09🔗 Adam You have any kids?

50:10🔗 Caller No.

50:11🔗 Adam Oh, good.

50:11🔗 Drew Yes.

50:12🔗 Adam What's happened? Something wrong with your tubes or something?

50:16🔗 Caller No. I've actually been tested probably since I was 17 to find out if I can even have kids, and they never find anything. They say I'm perfectly normal.

50:25🔗 Drew Why at 17 have you been tested for fertility?

50:28🔗 Caller I was sexually attacked.

50:31🔗 Drew Oh, shocking.

50:32🔗 Adam There you go. What happened?

50:33🔗 Drew That's what we were going with this.

50:34🔗 Adam What happened to you?

50:37🔗 Caller It was pretty brutalized, and I ended up having to have an abortion. They had told me that that time, that there may be some permanent damage.

50:47🔗 Drew And this was your first sexual victimization? Yes.

50:51🔗 Adam Who did this? Yes. Who did this to you?

50:54🔗 Caller Somebody I was dating, but he was into a lot of drugs and had a party at his house one night, and decided it would be fun if I was the entertainment for the evening.

51:06🔗 Drew And no one in your life ever victimized you prior to that?

51:11🔗 Caller Several people.

51:13🔗 Adam Yeah. All right, baby. Those are the key issues, not the orgasm.

51:17🔗 Drew That's one of the causes of pelvic pain and crying within a chorus, that kind of thing.

51:22🔗 Adam All right, Rachel. You ever got any therapy?

51:26🔗 Caller A few times.

51:29🔗 Adam Not very much, though, right?

51:30🔗 Caller No. It never seemed they understood. They couldn't understand why I had these things, why I felt these things. Nobody ever.

51:41🔗 Drew What things?

51:43🔗 Caller They said a lot of my stuff had to do with anger and anger towards my mother.

51:47🔗 Drew Yeah.

51:48🔗 Caller I never believed that.

51:49🔗 Adam Well, you're angry at somebody.

51:52🔗 Drew Well, you should be.

51:53🔗 Adam You should be. Right.

51:55🔗 Drew Why don't you hang in there with people that know what they're doing and let them help you through some of this stuff?

52:00🔗 Caller Well, when I do start talking to them, they end up wanting to talk to my family members. They don't want, they're like, oh, you're fine, you're fine, but we need to bring this person in.

52:09🔗 Drew All right, well, you're not fine.

52:11🔗 Adam Now we're here to tell you.

52:12🔗 Drew Yeah. And I don't think, you may have heard them saying, you're fine, but that's not what they were saying. I guarantee you. So get back in there and just stay in and follow directions.

52:21🔗 Adam And forget about your family members and tell them to forget about it, too.

52:25🔗 Drew Well, just follow directions. If they tell you, you're done, we want you to terminate treatment, then you leave treatment. All right.

52:31🔗 Adam So Rachel, you've been through a lot.

52:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:34🔗 Adam Now talk to somebody, work out a few of these problems and enjoy your orgasms, OK?

52:39🔗 Caller OK.

52:40🔗 Adam All right, baby.

52:41🔗 Caller Thank you very much.

52:42🔗 Adam Thank you. It's like, look, I don't want to sound melodramatic, but Rachel sounded like she was dead. Did she sound like she was sort of dead from the inside out? And it sounded like somebody who had been killed a long time ago by God knows what with her family and then victimized one more time with the boyfriend and the drugs in the past around the party. And now you basically have a zombie that is going through life. Wondering why she's angry, wondering why the relationships aren't working out. And unfortunately, it's now incumbent upon Rachel to take care of herself. She's 30. She's a big girl. You gotta do it, but you gotta know it first. And I don't know how you know it when you're sort of dead from the inside out. Bruce?

53:35🔗 Yes?

53:35🔗 Adam You're 35?

53:37🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

53:38🔗 Adam What's up?

53:38🔗 Caller Oh, well, I got a lump. I thought it was on my testicle, but I guess it's on my vast deference. I had it, I first noticed it, it was smaller, about late 1999, and I just kind of ignored it, hoping it would go away. And then recently here, I was in, I had it checked out by a jail doctor, who said it was a spermicell, which...

54:03🔗 Drew Spermatocel.

54:05🔗 Caller Spermatocel?

54:06🔗 Adam Now, were you doing time or you just go to the jail to get your work done?

54:10🔗 Caller I did. I was doing time and then I got out and then I got re-indicted for something that happened before that, you know.

54:15🔗 Adam You know, it's funny about the guy who called, who did, it's prison night, by the way.

54:19🔗 Caller Yeah, I heard that.

54:20🔗 Adam That guy called earlier. He was angry. He was like, what'd you get thrown in jail for? Stealing a jacket?

54:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:27🔗 Adam Really? Two years.

54:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:29🔗 Adam Can you believe that? Stealing a jacket. And then it turns out, have any priors? No. Oh, vandalism. And then it turned out it was an assault. I mean, the guy was an armed robbery, essentially. Yeah.

54:40🔗 Drew Not essentially.

54:42🔗 Adam Yeah, it was an armed robbery. Yeah.

54:43🔗 Caller I just did two years. And then I just got out.

54:47🔗 Adam You stole some sweatpants?

54:48🔗 Caller No, it was a possession of cocaine.

54:51🔗 Adam That's the UI I have sympathy for.

54:54🔗 Caller And then I get out of prison. And then they indict me for possession of 15 kilos from 1996.

55:01🔗 Drew How dare they?

55:02🔗 Caller How dare they?

55:04🔗 Drew 15 kilos? Come on, 15 kilos. Why would they be concerned with that?

55:07🔗 Caller Well, they have five years to get you. So they let me out. I'm on electronic home monitoring right now. I pled guilty to three and a half and I got a waiting sentencing.

55:15🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Well, no. You were dealing. You weren't doing it or you were doing nothing?

55:20🔗 Caller I was snorting it, shooting it, you know.

55:23🔗 Drew And you're in recovery now?

55:24🔗 Caller No, I'm just done with that crap. I was done with that in 2000.

55:28🔗 Drew Yeah, but you must be drinking or smoking pot.

55:29🔗 Caller No, I don't smoke pot. Don't drink.

55:31🔗 Drew Really?

55:32🔗 Caller All I do, I smoke Camel Lights and I drink Coca-Cola.

55:34🔗 Adam Well, maybe.

55:35🔗 Caller I've been sober for three years. Wow.

55:38🔗 Drew That is rare.

55:38🔗 Adam I'm hearing, but listen, do you hear in Bruce's voice, you don't hear the addiction?

55:43🔗 Drew No, I don't. But that's why I'm used to hearing in recovery people. Is it your religion?

55:47🔗 Caller I've been listening to your guys show. I got turned on to your show when I was in prison and I listened every night.

55:52🔗 Drew Like most people are.

55:52🔗 Adam Hold on. We got to get some of those inmates' Arbitron books.

55:55🔗 Caller You know, because...

55:56🔗 Adam Get the ratings up.

55:57🔗 Caller You know, I mean, Dr. Pinsky, you're brilliant. And Adam, you know, you're funny as hell. And I love The Man Show.

56:01🔗 Adam Thanks, Bruce.

56:02🔗 Caller And you know, I've learned a lot. You know, a lot of my friends are in recovery. And you guys are on it all the time, you know. And...

56:11🔗 Drew Well, it's something called natural recovery that people talk about once in a while. People spontaneously stop using it. I'm not... I so rarely see that.

56:18🔗 Caller Well, what's funny is that, see, my brothers and sisters are the same way. They've all been more addicted than I was. And they all just stopped.

56:28🔗 Drew I wonder if there's a certain genetic variant here sometime.

56:31🔗 Caller I don't know. You know, I mean, because everyone's worried about, you know, backsliding. That's not even a concern. I mean, I just... I don't know. I didn't even get involved in drugs until later in life.

56:43🔗 Adam Yeah, that's part of it.

56:44🔗 Caller I was an overachiever, you know, built up, you know, was a straight-A student, a college straight-A college student, had my own advertising business, got involved in cocaine, sold my company, then started doing cocaine, I started selling cocaine. And then I, you know, I said 10 more thousand, 20 more thousand, and then I, you know, 10 years later, I ended up in prison.

57:01🔗 Adam Right.

57:02🔗 Caller You know, and when I got out of prison in April of 2000, I thought I was done. I was done, but then they charged me for stuff from five years ago, which, you know, it's just how many, how many kilos in a pound? There's 2.2 pounds in a kilo.

57:17🔗 Adam 2.2 pounds in a kilo.

57:19🔗 Caller Right.

57:19🔗 Adam All right. How many millimeters in an inch?

57:23🔗 Caller What is it?

57:25🔗 Adam 25.6.

57:26🔗 Caller 25. Yeah.

57:27🔗 Adam All right. Just checking. See the metric system. They say it wouldn't catch on with all the drug addicts in this country. It really has forced people to learn the metric system. Yeah.

57:36🔗 Caller That's funny because people that seem to know their math are coke dealers and marijuana dealers.

57:41🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. So, oh, and Bruce, do you know how much is in a lid? We've always tried to figure out what a lid is.

57:48🔗 Caller I was just listening that a lid is 21 grams.

57:52🔗 Adam Oh, it is.

57:54🔗 Caller A lid is three quarters of an ounce, which is 21 grams.

57:58🔗 Adam Why? See, Bruce, he's a genius. I'd like to travel through Europe with you.

58:04🔗 Caller I've been through Europe. I go to Spain and Italy all the time.

58:06🔗 Adam Yeah, it would be like, oh, 22 degrees Celsius. How hot is that? 84 degrees. All right, so wait a minute. Why, wait a minute, three quarters of an ounce is a lid?

58:19🔗 Caller 21 grams, right.

58:20🔗 Adam How is three quarters of an ounce a lid? Where did that come from?

58:23🔗 Caller You know, I don't know. I just remember that as a, you know, I'm old school, so I just remember that from...

58:30🔗 Adam So a lid is three quarters of an ounce, and it's funny, everyone... Okay, all right. So you buy like a half ounce of weed now, three quarters, all right.

58:38🔗 Caller Lids went out in the 70s.

58:39🔗 Adam Yeah, oh yeah, I'm hip. Everything I talk about on the show went out in the 70s. Early 70s, thank you. Okay, so Bruce, what the hell is this question?

58:48🔗 Caller Well, the question is, is that... Well, I was in jail, and I guess in jail, I have more opportunities to feel my balls.

58:57🔗 Adam Sure.

58:57🔗 Caller Anyway, I was feeling around on the other night, I noticed the lump was bigger. Now, but the lump doesn't hurt, and I was concerned it was on my testicle, but it wasn't. It feels like it's in the, I guess on the vast deference or some other seminal line. It's hard, it's not painful. When I squeeze it, it's hard, it's not spongy.

59:14🔗 Drew Have you had an ultrasound?

59:16🔗 Caller No, I haven't.

59:16🔗 Drew That's what you need.

59:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:18🔗 Drew Just to make sure, but it could be a varicoseal, a somatoseal, a cystoseal, these things are real common. They can maybe affect fertility a little bit, but other than that, they're nothing to worry about.

59:27🔗 Adam Yeah. I like Bruce. Yeah. Smart guy.

59:30🔗 Drew I would like to put him under the microscope though, and look at this whole natural recovery thing he's into. Well, I think he's got to be addicted to something. Stoics or photographs or something.

59:39🔗 Adam Really?

59:40🔗 Drew Yeah. It got to be.

59:41🔗 Adam I would argue that he doesn't have the addictive gene. Right.

59:45🔗 Drew Maybe he wasn't really an addict in the first place.

59:46🔗 Adam Because he didn't get into it until later. The thing about Coke is anyone can enjoy Coke.

59:52🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:52🔗 Adam That's right. I mean, it's not the kind of thing. I think there's certain drugs and maybe heroin, and maybe even booze for a lot of people, which is it don't taste good. It's not pleasant. It's just, it's not. Coke, there's not a person on this planet that couldn't use a little bump before they left the house on the way to work and would have a problem with it. I mean, we'd all feel better. We really would.

1:00:12🔗 Drew Right.

1:00:14🔗 Adam It's really like saying, you want a quick BJ before you head to work?

1:00:17🔗 Drew No.

1:00:20🔗 Adam I'm saying it's yummy, that Coke is. We know what I'm talking about.

1:00:26🔗 Drew David? Yes.

1:00:27🔗 Adam You're 29? I am. What's up?

1:00:29🔗 Drew Is it suddenly like a furnace in here?

1:00:31🔗 Adam It's warm, but it's not a furnace. I'll start sweating when it's a furnace. Go ahead, David.

1:00:36🔗 Caller My girlfriend had a hysterectomy around five months ago. After the hysterectomy, we did the eight weeks. The doctor said eight weeks without sex. She goes back into the doctor. The doctor says that she's cleared. She can start doing her daily activities again without any repercussions. We have sex, pops that thing open, and her intestines came through.

1:01:06🔗 Drew Oh my God, how awful.

1:01:08🔗 Adam He almost couldn't finish. He was this close to not coming.

1:01:12🔗 Caller I didn't finish.

1:01:14🔗 Drew Did she have pain with that?

1:01:15🔗 Caller Oh, absolutely.

1:01:16🔗 Adam Oh my God. Are you telling me that her intestines came through?

1:01:20🔗 Drew Fell out of her vagina.

1:01:21🔗 Caller Absolutely, yeah.

1:01:23🔗 Adam And Drew, how does that work? Will that work? Is that right? That could work. Oh my God.

1:01:30🔗 Drew It's not quite fitting for me in terms of anatomy, but go ahead.

1:01:32🔗 Adam No, wait a minute. Wasn't your penis then making contact with the intestines for a while before they came out?

1:01:39🔗 Caller No, no. From what I understand, I'm no gynecologist, but there's some sort of a barrier of skin that keeps all the intestines up inside.

1:01:50🔗 Adam So it didn't actually come out of the vagina?

1:01:52🔗 Caller No, it came through into the vagina. It didn't hang out of, no.

1:01:56🔗 Adam Okay.

1:01:57🔗 Caller So she goes back in for emergency surgery to have this repaired.

1:02:02🔗 Adam Right.

1:02:02🔗 Caller We go through the eight weeks again, and the doctor clears her. We have sex. It opens again.

1:02:09🔗 Adam Well, you're an animal.

1:02:11🔗 Caller And what...

1:02:11🔗 Drew How long period of sex were you having before this opened? Very, very quickly?

1:02:15🔗 Yeah, I did.

1:02:16🔗 Caller It happened rather quickly, actually.

1:02:18🔗 Wow.

1:02:19🔗 Adam Well, listen, you've got to lemon. You've got to turn her in. I mean, I don't know what to do.

1:02:25🔗 Drew What's the question?

1:02:26🔗 Caller Well, she just went in for surgery about a week ago, and she and I are both very concerned about having sex. The doctor said she will never be able to have deep penetration again, ever, because what is up inside of her is ruined.

1:02:42🔗 Adam And, okay, yeah.

1:02:44🔗 Caller So now, where does somebody go from there, is what I'm asking.

1:02:48🔗 Adam The whorehouse?

1:02:50🔗 Caller I see.

1:02:51🔗 Adam No, listen, so David, let me see, how's your penis? Is it long?

1:02:58🔗 Caller I'm an average Joe.

1:02:59🔗 Adam An average guy. Yeah. And are you a vigorous guy?

1:03:04🔗 Caller Occasionally.

1:03:05🔗 Adam Well, that's the problem, is he takes two months off, and then he gets back there and works the crap out of it, and then pow, there goes the stitches. This is an opportunity for him to use my love grommet.

1:03:19🔗 Drew You could have a supersized one, too.

1:03:21🔗 Caller A grommet.

1:03:22🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm dead serious about this, David.

1:03:25🔗 Drew What is this?

1:03:25🔗 Adam Well, this is something I came up with some years ago, but I really stand by this. Picture a piece of foam rubber, okay? Not the super spongy foam rubber, but not the styrofoam type either. It's kind of sort of in-between. Firm foam rubber, all right?

1:03:44🔗 Caller Okay.

1:03:45🔗 Adam Let's say you actually set a, you know what a batting doughnut looks like?

1:03:50🔗 Caller Oh, certainly.

1:03:51🔗 Adam Yeah, you know that. Your hip goes on the end of a bat there. You set that down and you trace around it. You got the outer circle and you got the inner circle. You cut it out and you put it around your penis.

1:04:01🔗 Caller Okay.

1:04:02🔗 Adam And you slide it up against your pubic bone there. Now you have a depth marker. You can, it's like a governor for your penis. You can only go so deep now because you whack into the doughnut.

1:04:15🔗 Caller Okay.

1:04:15🔗 Adam And you get a little spring back action on your way out.

1:04:19🔗 Caller It's got to help for leverage I guess. Yeah.

1:04:21🔗 Adam I know this sounds like a nutty plan but for David...

1:04:24🔗 Caller It might be really important.

1:04:25🔗 Adam It might be pretty good.

1:04:27🔗 Caller Well you know actually I thought of something like that.

1:04:29🔗 Adam Why don't you try that?

1:04:31🔗 Caller Well it's obviously going to be several, several months before we do anything like that.

1:04:35🔗 Adam Well that'll give you time in the shop to perfect it.

1:04:38🔗 Caller Is there any sort of different positions that aren't as deep?

1:04:43🔗 Drew Yes there are but I think you're going to have to... I think something like the grommets is necessary here. A little slip, you rip her open again. You can't afford to slip.

1:04:51🔗 Adam Well listen I would say doggies out.

1:04:55🔗 Drew Doggies out, on top...

1:04:56🔗 Adam Wheelbarrow?

1:04:57🔗 Drew Everything's out except sort of what she can do.

1:04:59🔗 Adam Her getting on top would be good because she could set the depth.

1:05:03🔗 Drew But even that's going to be awkward and not right.

1:05:06🔗 Adam I'm telling you, I would do the love grommet. I would start, I would use three quarter inch material and I would start by doubling them up the first time so I had an inch and a half. For me my penis would look like a Michelin Man. You wouldn't see anything.

1:05:24🔗 Drew A little happy face sticking out the top.

1:05:28🔗 Adam But you double it up and if that goes well you peel one off and go back to three quarter. And you cut it so it's a little bit snug so you have to kind of pull it around. It actually could work to keep a little blood in there. Like a C ring.

1:05:45🔗 Drew You only had that store of C rings and lava lamps. You could have the specialty C ring. The therapeutic C ring.

1:05:53🔗 Adam This would work. And you know what I know if they sold this thing at a hospital or medical supply place it would be $1,400. Eric?

1:06:03🔗 Yeah, hey guys.

1:06:04🔗 Adam Hey, you're 16. What's up?

1:06:05🔗 Caller Yeah, first of all I caught you about 3 months ago. I had an oxycontin problem. And I had the alcoholic gene and all. But I just want to tell you guys now I'm sober and all. Yeah, not drinking, not doing too many drugs. Great. A little pot every once in a while but that's it.

1:06:18🔗 Drew That will send you back.

1:06:20🔗 Caller Well like once every 3 weeks.

1:06:22🔗 Drew Eric, that will send you back. Anything that triggers that part of your brain will pick up the momentum and off you'll go. So the clock is ticking at this point.

1:06:31🔗 Caller Alright, really quick. This isn't my main question. But did you mention a while ago about an antidepressant for people that are like alcoholics? Is that like, I started with an S. Sarazone.

1:06:40🔗 Drew I've had a good result with Sarazone lately.

1:06:42🔗 Adam You have? Yeah. Alright.

1:06:44🔗 Caller Okay, but my question was, there's this girl, my best friend really, and I'm really into her. And I've been into her for years and she's known it. And so finally she's coming around and she wants to go out with me. But I guess now I'm having my doubts and all. And I don't know if it's just a quick relationship, you know, it's not a big deal, then it's going to ruin our friendship forever.

1:07:05🔗 Drew You and your, she's your friend?

1:07:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:08🔗 Drew I see.

1:07:09🔗 Adam Wait a minute, you've been into her for a while, right? Yeah, I know.

1:07:11🔗 Drew That's why you're her friend.

1:07:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:13🔗 Adam Yeah, because you're into her. Alright, well, now, now.

1:07:16🔗 Drew Be honest.

1:07:17🔗 Adam You have, you have your opportunity that you've been waiting for is finally come to fruition and you're wussing out?

1:07:23🔗 Caller Yeah, well, over the time that I've been waiting for, I guess I just, you know, if she just helps you with all my stuff, you know, every time I'm having a problem and she doesn't want a long-term relationship. She just wants, you know, a couple months or so and then that's it. And I'm afraid that, you know, like after that.

1:07:39🔗 Adam What is she talking about?

1:07:39🔗 Drew What's her deal? Does she have a dad of manning?

1:07:42🔗 Caller Yeah, she's kind of screwed up.

1:07:43🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:07:45🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:07:45🔗 Drew What she's saying, I'm telling you, is she's afraid of the intimacy that's going to develop here and she wants to be in control of it.

1:07:49🔗 Caller Right.

1:07:50🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, look, you can't set a timeline on your relationships. You have to start them and see where they go.

1:07:58🔗 Caller Right.

1:07:59🔗 Adam They usually go for about six years longer than they should. But you can't say, well, this can be over in three and a half months.

1:08:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:06🔗 Adam Look, Eric, don't don't be scared. Don't don't don't go through life this way. She likes you. You like her. You have a relationship. You see where it goes. Maybe it lasts for a week. Maybe it lasts forever. Right. And and and don't worry about the friendship part.

1:08:23🔗 Drew You got into this friendship with this in mind.

1:08:25🔗 Adam Right. All right. I've got to oil this chair. Oh, what the? Yeah. Somebody wants to know about a coffee enema. I'd like to know about a coffee enema, too. Valerie?

1:08:37🔗 Yeah.

1:08:37🔗 Adam What's up?

1:08:38🔗 Hi, Adam.

1:08:39🔗 Adam Hey, Toots.

1:08:40🔗 How are you?

1:08:41🔗 Adam Good. What's happening?

1:08:43🔗 Nothing. I was just wondering. I read a book and it was written by, I don't know.

1:08:49🔗 Adam Turn your radio down, goofball.

1:08:50🔗 Will you turn that down for me?

1:08:52🔗 Adam All right.

1:08:53🔗 Anyways, I read a book about it and Vanna White and Janet Jackson and a bunch of people are into it. And I just always wondered.

1:09:00🔗 Adam Into coffee enemas? Yeah. Right.

1:09:03🔗 And so I was wondering, what does it really do to you physically?

1:09:08🔗 Adam Turn the radio down.

1:09:09🔗 Turn it down more, please.

1:09:10🔗 Adam Just tell them to turn it off. Or you go somewhere where you don't have to hear it if they went out for it. Oh, Jesus Christ.

1:09:17🔗 Here I am.

1:09:18🔗 Adam All right, baby.

1:09:19🔗 Drew All right.

1:09:20🔗 Adam So what physically happens when you get the coffee enema?

1:09:23🔗 Right.

1:09:25🔗 Adam I don't know. And, you know, I didn't.

1:09:27🔗 Drew Not a heck of a lot.

1:09:28🔗 Adam I did a coffee enema once and I did. You did? Yeah, I did. I tried it once. I had no trouble with it at all. It actually felt good. They rammed the sugar cubes up my ass. That hurt like hell. Like hell.

1:09:44🔗 Drew How about that steamed milk?

1:09:45🔗 Adam Shouldn't have never told him five lumps. That was the trouble.

1:09:50🔗 Drew A whole lot of lumps.

1:09:51🔗 Adam I did a whole lot of lumps. That Pete Puma?

1:09:57🔗 It doesn't do anything?

1:09:58🔗 Adam Listen, first off, anyone who engages in the Anima thing, here's what it is, gays and nutty broads. Actually gays are really just nutty broads with penises. But yes, the Vanna White and the Who, one of the Jacksons, any of the Jacksons, nuts. They're all nuts. Here's what all this stuff is. It's all emotional. It's all in your head. All of it is. They do all this stuff. It's the same thing. Hey, do you sometimes, hey, you ever feel like when you get up in the morning, you just don't want to get out of bed?

1:10:27🔗 Drew You're kind of fatigued and achy.

1:10:29🔗 Adam You're tired? Tired, yeah. The alarm rings, but you hit the snooze because you don't want to get out of bed. You're tired. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it happens. And then sometimes you're at work. It's like three, four in the afternoon. You just want to take a nap. You don't have the energy.

1:10:43🔗 Drew You can't take another nap.

1:10:45🔗 Adam Well, let me tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because we live in a very toxic environment. There's toxins everywhere. Everything is toxic these days. What's coming out of the cars is toxic. The water is toxic. The air is toxic. The food, those preservatives, they build up in your body. They cause plaque. And so what you're doing is you carry around that plaque. And you're essentially carrying around toxins. And that's why you feel so tired and lethargic. You feel tired and lethargic, right? I mean, didn't you have more energy when you were younger? Yes, because you had less toxins in you. And so what you need to do is you need to flush away those toxins every once in a while that would build up in you. And that's what makes you tired, you see? And meanwhile, these people are high. They don't know what they're talking about.

1:11:28🔗 Drew Yeah, totally nuts.

1:11:30🔗 Okay, I had one more question, too.

1:11:31🔗 Adam But you get the plaque built up.

1:11:33🔗 Drew Yeah, and my question is, why is it then when we completely flush out the colon for colonoscopies, I mean, we make it squeaky clean so you can examine the surface microscopically, people do not feel better.

1:11:44🔗 Adam No, they feel worse.

1:11:45🔗 Drew Magically.

1:11:46🔗 Adam That's right.

1:11:48🔗 Drew And by the way, the colon was designed for what it does. That's why God built it.

1:11:53🔗 Adam Listen, nothing but gays and screwed up rods.

1:11:55🔗 Drew And I want somebody to name Atoxin. Show me the chemical structure of Atoxin. You don't need it.

1:12:01🔗 Adam They are all over. They are all over and they build up inside of you. All right, Valerie.

1:12:07🔗 Okay, can I ask one more question? Yeah. Okay, this is on the other side of the taint. I mean, I have a boyfriend now that's extremely large. And on my monthly visit, I get crampy way more than what I've ever gotten used to.

1:12:22🔗 Drew When your friend visits every month?

1:12:24🔗 Well, you know that monthly girl thing?

1:12:27🔗 Adam Yep. Right.

1:12:28🔗 Drew You say girls have a copy of the animal, huh?

1:12:31🔗 And it's like now I get these extreme piercing pains when it comes. I never used to get that.

1:12:36🔗 Drew I doubt it's about him. You could have endometriosis. You could have a varian cyst. You could just be having something called dysmenorrhea. I think it's just... You need to talk to your gynecologist about it, but I doubt that it's about him. It could be out of infection.

1:12:47🔗 Adam Yeah, it's not like he wore her out or he pummeled her with his penis during the course of the month and now she has extra cramping. No, that wouldn't happen.

1:12:56🔗 Drew This is all that mechanical thinking about the body. You still have no biological training, things only in terms of the mechanics. The colon needs to be flushed out, but the vagina is broken and bleeds.

1:13:09🔗 Adam Okay, Ilyas, if he damaged you with his penis, you would know it at the time he was doing the damage or seconds after. Alright, we'll take a break. Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. I like that Colt. Those guys were nice when they're in here. Had a good time with them. I like that Colt guitar. Dan?

1:14:08🔗 Caller Yep.

1:14:08🔗 Adam You're 17?

1:14:09🔗 Caller I am.

1:14:10🔗 Adam What's up?

1:14:12🔗 Caller Well, I'm kind of an artist. I paint and draw and do collages, all that cool stuff.

1:14:16🔗 Caller And I got diagnosed with ADD and depression and just crappy stuff like that.

1:14:21🔗 Adam Right.

1:14:22🔗 Caller So they put me on Prozac for a while and then that was before I found out I had ADD. And then I got ADD, they found out I had ADD. They put me on Wellbutrin for the depression and the ADD. And pretty much ever since I've been doing that, I've just had like no creativity in my artwork and all that. I was just wondering if that could be from that.

1:14:41🔗 Drew No creativity. What does that mean?

1:14:43🔗 Caller I mean like I used to be able to sit down with a paintbrush and some paint and like do whatever and just paint some cool stuff but now like nothing comes into my head.

1:14:53🔗 Drew That's fascinating.

1:14:55🔗 Caller I wonder if you've heard of that and if you like it.

1:14:57🔗 Drew That didn't happen with the Prozac?

1:14:59🔗 Caller No, it didn't.

1:14:59🔗 Drew You're feeling better?

1:15:02🔗 Caller Yeah, I guess so.

1:15:03🔗 Drew You're feeling better with the Love Between than with the Prozac?

1:15:06🔗 Caller I don't really see a difference.

1:15:08🔗 Drew Well, maybe then you ought to switch back to the Prozac or at least that class of drugs. I'm saying if you really truly have some block in terms of your ability to do what you do, which is a neurologic process, I guess it makes sense that it could be affected by these medications. I've never heard of this. Usually it's just the case people feel better and they're actually more productive.

1:15:33🔗 Adam What do you draw?

1:15:35🔗 Caller Lots of stuff actually. I do abstract, I do landscapes.

1:15:38🔗 Adam Hold on, I'm writing it down.

1:15:39🔗 Caller Oh, sorry.

1:15:41🔗 Adam Okay, that's all right. Landscapes, abstract?

1:15:43🔗 Caller I can do whatever. I mean, I do whatever comes into my head.

1:15:46🔗 Adam Good. Listen, I don't want to, I don't know much about art. I don't want to be a square, but I like it to look like something. Yeah. I like to go, hey, that's what that is. When I see art that I go, I could have done that. I don't like it. Oh, me too. All right, good. Hi there, buddy. What did Drew tell him to do?

1:16:06🔗 Caller What did you tell him to do, Drew?

1:16:07🔗 Drew Since he's not feeling better with the hibutin and the Prozac, maybe get back to a medication like Prozac or Prozac that didn't block his creativity that way.

1:16:15🔗 Adam All right, good times, good times. Aaron?

1:16:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:19🔗 Adam You're 18?

1:16:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:20🔗 Adam What's up?

1:16:21🔗 Caller My girlfriend, I've been dating her for a couple of weeks now. Before, we talked about sex and stuff, I said that I wanted to wait this time till I was in love.

1:16:33🔗 Drew This time?

1:16:34🔗 Caller Yeah, like all through high school, all my relationships have just been based on like sex pretty much. And so like my longest relationship has only been like three months.

1:16:45🔗 Adam Me too. As I was in high school. Yeah, the relationship was with my left hand in the VCR. Actually, we didn't have a VCR, son of a bitch.

1:16:53🔗 Drew Yeah, oh my god.

1:16:58🔗 Adam Soon as they became popular, my dad ran right out the radio, shank himself a nice beta recorder that retard. Oh, see an idiot. All right, so you don't want this one to just be about sex.

1:17:09🔗 Caller Right. And she agreed with that. I started working out like that. We're like doing stuff and I had to stop. I thought myself like, hey, go sit over there.

1:17:20🔗 Adam You know what I mean? Sure. I've done that many times.

1:17:22🔗 Caller Right. And I'm trying to like tell her like again that I want to like wait a little while. She agreed. You know, I brought it up again. And she agreed that, yeah, she wanted to wait.

1:17:32🔗 Drew But no, she's just she's just agreeing with you.

1:17:34🔗 Adam It's going along. She just wants to sustain the relationship.

1:17:37🔗 Drew It must be hard for women to go, no, no, no, no, no. You know, I don't want to wait. I have you now.

1:17:43🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:17:44🔗 Caller Yeah, that's understandable. That's kind of what I was getting. I wanted to know the way I can nicely...

1:17:49🔗 Drew I'm very confused why women can't be terribly honest about what they want and what they're feeling this day and age. But listen, I... Hmm, interesting. But I was... I was in Washington last week. I gave a presentation to a bunch of college-age kids. This one girl, you know, I started asking why the hell they read those crappy magazines, those women magazines. This one girl stood up and she goes, you know, I wanted the same thing. So I asked everyone I'm under, all the women. And you know what they all said? If they said anything, I read the articles because they're funny. Mademoiselle and Cosmo.

1:18:18🔗 Adam Funny?

1:18:19🔗 Drew Funny.

1:18:21🔗 Adam So what did you gather from that?

1:18:22🔗 Drew First of all, I said, Mad Magazine is funny. Why don't you read that?

1:18:26🔗 Adam Right.

1:18:26🔗 Drew I think it's funny about those articles. I gather that they can't even be honest about one. It's like guys reading the Playboy for the pictures.

1:18:33🔗 Adam Right, right. You mean they can't say, look, we're desperate to look for tricks to attract men.

1:18:38🔗 Drew Or whatever it is. Or we were confused and we're ambivalent and this gratifies us some way. The articles are ridiculous and funny.

1:18:44🔗 Adam Right, right. So yeah, it's like a good example of what you said about the Playboying guys reading it for the articles. Okay, or buying it for the articles, I should say. I don't know what Erin's thing is.

1:19:00🔗 Drew How does she keep her off him? If you're not really into her, tell her that. That will keep her off. If you don't want to have sex because you don't know that you really like her, she'll recoil. Don't worry.

1:19:09🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't get Erin's thing. I'm getting that Erin ain't really that into her. Because an 18-year-old guy has been late a few times, if he's got himself a hot piece of ass crawling all over him, he's going to jump on that.

1:19:21🔗 Drew Okay, yeah.

1:19:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:19:23🔗 Caller All right.

1:19:24🔗 Adam Let's talk to Derek who's 17.

1:19:27🔗 Caller Derek?

1:19:28🔗 Adam Yeah, hi. Hey.

1:19:29🔗 Caller I love the show. Just got to tell you that up front. Thanks. Yeah, I've been listening to your show for a while, and I hear all these young guys calling in. I'm 17, and they're younger than me, and they're talking about how they're having sex with their girlfriends and stuff. And I'm 17, and I've had a few relationships, and I've still never had sex. Is there something wrong?

1:19:45🔗 Drew No.

1:19:46🔗 Caller No?

1:19:46🔗 Drew No, no, no. That's a good thing. That's why you wouldn't normally, other than calling about other people's problems, you wouldn't have to call this show.

1:19:53🔗 Caller Okay.

1:19:53🔗 Adam Well, Drew makes a valid point. You only call to complain about other people.

1:19:57🔗 Caller Okay.

1:19:58🔗 Adam I mean, you're fine. I mean, look, it's not great. I mean, you know.

1:20:04🔗 Drew Yeah, what's prompting you to wonder if there's something wrong with you is Adam's complaining about his days in high school and what would have been college.

1:20:10🔗 Adam I didn't get an ounce of tail in high school. Do you hear me? You understand? Not even a lid. Even three-quarters of an ounce of tail. You're fine there, Derek.

1:20:22🔗 Caller All right. Thank you.

1:20:23🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:23🔗 Drew God, your blessing.

1:20:24🔗 Caller All right. Thank you.

1:20:27🔗 Adam Yeah. God forbid you should get a BJ in high school. Count your blessings. I know Drew, you were getting laid quite consistently in high school, student body president, big man on campus, captain of the football team and all that stuff. But do you think now, now we've talked about this before. I was not getting much action until I was a little later in life. I mean, I lost my virginity and had a couple of run ins with a few confused women, but nothing substantial. And I'm wondering if you may have primed your pump for the 19 through 23 by getting some in high school. Do you think?

1:21:12🔗 Drew Primed your pump?

1:21:13🔗 Adam Yeah, you.

1:21:14🔗 Drew I mean, like, sent myself spinning off in some direction?

1:21:17🔗 Adam Well, what I mean is, I mean, you're a passionate, passionate, passionate man. I mean, we know that about you. What I'm saying is, when I was like 18 or 19, I was just getting started.

1:21:31🔗 Drew Right.

1:21:32🔗 Adam I was, you know, and then I may have hit my stride about 24, 25. I mean, that's when I was probably operating on all cylinders, sexually. But you, who was a passionate, passionate man and had a relationship in high school, you think you were ahead of me at 19. You know what I'm saying?

1:21:52🔗 Drew But then I stalled.

1:21:53🔗 Adam You stalled?

1:21:54🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:21:54🔗 Adam When did you stall?

1:21:55🔗 Caller 19.

1:21:56🔗 Adam Oh, oh, because you went out of town to go to college. You left your girlfriend behind. Yeah. And that's really where the tragedy came. And now all women must pay, including your mother, right? Oh, it's so true. Natalie, you're 16?

1:22:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:15🔗 Adam What's happened in Perky Buns?

1:22:17🔗 Caller All right. I'm almost 17. I have a boyfriend who will be 18 soon. And he's like my first real boyfriend. I'm his first real girlfriend. He's a good guy and everything got good grades and everything. Good life going on. But he we've been together for about a month or almost two months now. And he hasn't even done anything. He won't kiss me or anything.

1:22:40🔗 Caller Two months. Huh?

1:22:41🔗 Adam How do you know he's your boyfriend?

1:22:43🔗 Caller Well, because he always talks about it and we're always together. I didn't really I wasn't sure. It's not like he ever said, oh, well, you'll be my girlfriend or anything stupid. But he just always said because he lives like two hours from me, which is kind of weird. Yeah. But he drives down to see me like every couple of days and he's always over here and he's always saying, hey, you know, that's why I got this car. So I have good guesstimates. Come see my girl. Yeah. But he's a real nice guy and he's he's a really great guy. But I don't know. I don't want to seem like a slut or anything. And I don't want to pounce on him. But what can I do to make him realize that, you know, I am 16. I am a girl. I am human. I do have hormones, you know.

1:23:21🔗 Adam Who's that? Your brother?

1:23:22🔗 Caller Yeah, that's my brother.

1:23:23🔗 Drew He thinks you're an idiot.

1:23:25🔗 Caller Huh?

1:23:25🔗 Drew He said you're an idiot.

1:23:26🔗 Adam Well, he just doesn't want to hear his sister talking about sex.

1:23:29🔗 Caller Yeah, that's my other brothers.

1:23:31🔗 Adam How old is he? Older or younger? Your brother?

1:23:33🔗 Caller They're both older.

1:23:34🔗 Adam Oh, boy. All right. Are they listening?

1:23:36🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm sure they are.

1:23:37🔗 Adam Oh, she said vomit for her. Her sister called a radio show. I need to get laid.

1:23:43🔗 Caller No, it's not that.

1:23:44🔗 Adam I know. You've never even kissed this guy.

1:23:47🔗 Caller Right. Well...

1:23:48🔗 Drew I think the guy will not think you're a slut if you move things along physically. He may be just inept.

1:23:54🔗 Adam He's a virgin, right?

1:23:55🔗 Caller Yeah, definitely. He's never had a girlfriend.

1:23:57🔗 Adam No. He's never had anything.

1:23:59🔗 Caller Yeah, right.

1:24:00🔗 Drew So he's scared.

1:24:01🔗 Caller And I feel like I'm intimidating him.

1:24:02🔗 Drew No, you're not. No. Forget that. Get those kinds of ideas out of your head.

1:24:07🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. She's intimidating him by virtue of the fact she was born.

1:24:13🔗 Drew Right, the way he feels about her that intimidates him.

1:24:15🔗 Adam I mean, just the fact that she's a female present in his life.

1:24:19🔗 Drew Right.

1:24:19🔗 Adam But he has probably never kissed a girl.

1:24:23🔗 Drew He needs to be broken.

1:24:27🔗 Adam You gotta bust his hymen. Right. You think he's kissed a girl?

1:24:32🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:24:33🔗 Adam I don't think he has.

1:24:34🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:24:35🔗 Adam I mean, he's never told you about any girl he went to the dance with or anything, has he? He's a geek, this kid.

1:24:42🔗 Caller Well, you know what though? I don't know. It doesn't only matter to me one way or another because I like him. So I don't really care what everybody else thinks about him.

1:24:48🔗 Adam Right. But he is a geek, right? And that's what they think. Yeah, they do.

1:24:51🔗 Drew But that's what other people think.

1:24:52🔗 Adam That's what he's known for.

1:24:53🔗 Caller He was on the football team and the baseball team.

1:24:55🔗 Adam I was on the football team and the baseball team too.

1:24:58🔗 Caller Yeah, you were cool though.

1:24:59🔗 Adam Oh, no, no, no.

1:25:02🔗 Caller I don't know. And it doesn't really matter to me one way or another.

1:25:04🔗 Adam Okay.

1:25:05🔗 Caller All that matters is I like him.

1:25:06🔗 Adam All right. All right. That's good.

1:25:09🔗 Drew Wait a second.

1:25:10🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:25:11🔗 Adam On the varsity football team?

1:25:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:13🔗 Caller Really?

1:25:14🔗 Drew What position?

1:25:15🔗 Caller Oh, God, I don't know. I think he's a linebacker.

1:25:19🔗 Caller All right, baby. All right.

1:25:20🔗 Adam Look, you're going to have to instigate this. You're going to have to give him a nice kiss.

1:25:24🔗 Drew There's no way he will think anything negative about you. Forget it. Get that out of your head.

1:25:29🔗 Adam You got to give him a smooch. He's my first real boyfriend.

1:25:32🔗 Caller This is perfect. He's just a little freaked out. He's a little freaked out.

1:25:34🔗 Adam He's a little freaked out. He's a little freaked out. He's just a little freaked out. He's low on experience. And as a guy, it becomes very easy to cruise, especially when you're scared to make a move. You know what I mean?

1:25:47🔗 Drew It's almost like when you don't have that vocabulary, that experience under your belt, even the basics, basic little bit of experience. It's like not having the skills, like never having driven a car or something, like reading about it and then I'm going to drive the car. Nobody puts you in the seat and sits down next to you and goes let's go, push the pedal, here we go.

1:26:06🔗 Adam Right. That's why my dad, God love him. He, when I was 15, he took a melon. It wasn't a honeydew, was it cassava?

1:26:18🔗 Drew Put it in the microwave?

1:26:19🔗 Adam He warmed it up, he put it in the microwave. He cut a hole in it. It was too big, but it wasn't that big. He just traced around a quarter. And then he took some lipstick out of my step mom, Lynn's makeup bag. He drew lips around it, and he said, you know, start at first base, and then just go all the way through. Just go all the way through, I remember he said.

1:26:44🔗 Drew And when your mom, when your step mom found that melon, that was when you moved into the garage.

1:26:49🔗 Adam Right.

1:26:50🔗 Drew Right then.

1:26:51🔗 Adam But to be fair to me, he didn't say, don't put it back in the refrigerator. I didn't know. I did not know. It's all right. You got to clean the seeds out anyway over the sink. It wasn't like anyone got sick. It was fine. It was a little surprising.

1:27:04🔗 Caller It was a coconut.

1:27:05🔗 Adam She recognized her shade on the melon. We'll take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Katie, who's never had an orgasm, doesn't masturbate.

1:27:16🔗 Caller We'll get to her after this.

1:27:19🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:27:55🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Ready to get back to the phones, Drew?

1:28:02🔗 Drew Yeah, all set.

1:28:03🔗 Adam All right, buddy, here we go. Home stretch. Katie?

1:28:08🔗 Caller Yeah, it's me.

1:28:09🔗 Adam You're 21?

1:28:09🔗 Caller I'm 21.

1:28:11🔗 Adam You've never had an orgasm?

1:28:12🔗 Caller No.

1:28:13🔗 Adam And you don't like the masturbate?

1:28:15🔗 Caller No, it feels gross.

1:28:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:22🔗 Caller I don't like feel right when it happens.

1:28:25🔗 Drew Is that Cross?

1:28:26🔗 Adam 56 and Santa Rosa and 59 in Oakland.

1:28:29🔗 Caller What?

1:28:30🔗 Adam It's cool out there. What are we listening to?

1:28:33🔗 Caller It's my phone. It's kind of weird.

1:28:37🔗 Adam Oh, KCBS.

1:28:37🔗 Drew Well, it's the CBS station. That's good.

1:28:40🔗 Adam Not often you get to be on the radio and listen to the radio.

1:28:43🔗 Caller You know what I'm saying?

1:28:46🔗 Adam Hold on. I want to just hear some of the radio program.

1:28:49🔗 Drew Hold on one second.

1:28:50🔗 Adam Let's just be quiet for a second. Oh, really? We're the only ones who can hear the radio show? Anderson, why are we the only ones who can hear the radio show?

1:29:05🔗 Drew The levels are really low.

1:29:06🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

1:29:08🔗 Caller Not everyone's wearing headphones.

1:29:09🔗 Adam Headphones? Cans. Cans, my friend. I didn't get in this business. I'm calling headphones. Hey, Katie?

1:29:16🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:29:17🔗 Adam Okay, you got to get yourself a new phone, right?

1:29:19🔗 Caller Yeah, but I had my car left, but they left it off the hook too long.

1:29:23🔗 Adam I see.

1:29:23🔗 Caller It was going to die, and I want to talk to you guys before I...

1:29:26🔗 Adam All right. All right. What's wrong with masturbation?

1:29:30🔗 Caller It just doesn't feel right.

1:29:32🔗 Drew It doesn't do anything for you?

1:29:33🔗 Caller It doesn't do nothing.

1:29:35🔗 Drew Have you been with a guy?

1:29:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:37🔗 Drew And you've had sexual intercourse?

1:29:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:39🔗 Drew And nothing happens there either?

1:29:40🔗 Caller Well, like, I get up to, like, almost, and then I just... Like, the feeling leaves me.

1:29:45🔗 Adam What about oral sex?

1:29:48🔗 Caller Yeah, but I've never had it.

1:29:50🔗 Drew That's the missing ingredient. No.

1:29:51🔗 Caller It, like, only one time, and, like, I didn't even orgasm. It just started feeling good, and then the feeling left again.

1:29:57🔗 Adam Only one time a guy has performed that on you?

1:30:00🔗 Caller No. Only one time it's felt good.

1:30:02🔗 Adam I see. I see.

1:30:03🔗 Drew Is there anything you want to tell us about your past that might be contributing to your inability to experience arousal?

1:30:11🔗 Caller Um, like, lots of things have happened and stuff like that probably have affected that, but...

1:30:17🔗 Adam Right. Like, maybe some sexual abuse or something?

1:30:21🔗 Caller I was, like, I was, like, a molester when I was, like, nine, and then I was raped twice.

1:30:27🔗 Drew Right.

1:30:27🔗 Adam Okay.

1:30:27🔗 Drew So that can certainly affect your ability to trust. Some women have issues of feeling like they don't want to lose control in those intimate encounters, and I think it's more about that than anything. Of course, when you've been traumatized at that, any connection with that part of your body can sometimes feel uncomfortable or arouse feelings of, that were unpleasant.

1:30:44🔗 Adam Okay. It's all about the rapes, and it's all about the molestation, and that's what you need to focus on.

1:30:50🔗 Drew That's what you need to be treated.

1:30:51🔗 Adam A little therapy, clear that up, you'll be fine. Dave?

1:30:56🔗 Caller Yes.

1:30:56🔗 Adam You're 20, you're going bald?

1:30:58🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. Like, I'm having the receding hairline.

1:31:01🔗 Adam Right. You're on Propecia?

1:31:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:03🔗 Adam And, uh...

1:31:05🔗 Caller Rogaine, like, right? He said it wouldn't hurt. My doctor.

1:31:08🔗 Adam Not doing anything.

1:31:09🔗 Drew What do you mean, it wouldn't hurt?

1:31:11🔗 Caller Like, he said you can obviously use it along with the Propecia, it wouldn't interfere with...

1:31:15🔗 Adam The Rogaine? Yeah. Yeah. Now, has it worked?

1:31:18🔗 Caller Well, I mean, I still, like, want to brush my hair and stuff, because I have, like, longer hair now than I used to. It, uh, I can actually, like, you know, pull a bunch of hair out of the comb and stuff. I've been able to do that, like, you know, for a while.

1:31:33🔗 Adam All right. So, is this, you know, I've talked to a few guys on Fra Pescia. They say, look, they can't really tell.

1:31:39🔗 Drew Well, you can't. It's theoretically just slowing down whatever God's doing.

1:31:43🔗 Adam Does it stop it or does it just slow it down?

1:31:45🔗 Drew Sometimes it stops it, and Rogaine can reverse it and cause hair growth sometimes, maybe 10, 20 percent of the time.

1:31:50🔗 Adam They really don't have anything. I mean, here's how far we've got with this stuff.

1:31:54🔗 Drew There's no, like, three stooges or Bugs Bunny hair tonic.

1:31:57🔗 Adam Where you rub it on, your palms get hairy?

1:31:59🔗 Drew Exactly.

1:32:00🔗 Adam Now, we have ways to slow it down if you catch it early enough. And then we have surgical techniques that can replace it later on in life.

1:32:08🔗 Drew Right.

1:32:09🔗 Adam If you want to spend a lot of money.

1:32:11🔗 Drew That's right.

1:32:11🔗 Adam There's really nothing to do to grow it back. They claim Rogaine.

1:32:17🔗 Drew I had one case, I swear to God, I had one incredible case.

1:32:21🔗 Adam Right.

1:32:22🔗 Drew Where a guy came in, seriously, balding the horseshoe. He came back three months later, looked like, looked like heart ball marks.

1:32:28🔗 Adam Really?

1:32:28🔗 Drew Yeah, it was startling.

1:32:31🔗 Adam Grew back.

1:32:31🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:32:32🔗 Adam Okay. But the Propecia. Any side effects of Propecia?

1:32:35🔗 Drew Theoretically, no, but it's a testosterone blocking agent.

1:32:39🔗 Adam So, slow your sex drive down a little, raise your voice a couple of times.

1:32:44🔗 Drew The sex drive issue is questionable.

1:32:45🔗 Adam All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back. Hey, everybody. Well, there you go. Another fabulous episode of Love Line, Deep, Deep in the Ground, Where No One Can Find It Ever Again. I want to thank Damien for doing a great job on the phones all week. I want to thank Tara, Don't Call Me Tara, for doing a great job on the phones all week.

1:33:38🔗 Drew I know she wouldn't hear. For being the foodie on the night she left.

1:33:41🔗 Adam Well, when I say all week, I mean.

1:33:43🔗 Drew This week.

1:33:44🔗 Adam I mean last week. Is she here?

1:33:46🔗 Caller Where is Tara?

1:33:47🔗 Drew She went to Europe.

1:33:48🔗 Caller Oh, really?

1:33:49🔗 Adam She went to Europe. Jesus Christ.

1:33:52🔗 Drew You were doing it.

1:33:54🔗 Adam I've been to Tijuana three times. That's it. I want to thank producer Anne for putting her feminine stank on the show and doing a wonderful job all week and not only this week but in weeks past as well. Many, many, many of them.

1:34:06🔗 Drew Did you thank Damian?

1:34:07🔗 Adam I did thank Damian and I want to thank Engineer Anderson for putting his magic touch on the show each and every night. What a trooper. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:20🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:34:23🔗 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:25🔗 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:34:43🔗 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:34:45🔗 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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