14:02🔗
Oh my God.
17:30🔗
Voiceover
Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.
17:41🔗
Voiceover
Hey, hey, hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191-DRDREW. Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. I gotta warn you, Drew, I got some world-class gas tonight.
18:02🔗
Drew
I ate at a restaurant tonight, which 90% of the dishes were loaded with garlic, and I thought, you know, when I'm really ready, like, to take the next day off, and I want to really hurt Adam, I'm gonna sit down for a huge meal here and finish off a little scallion.
18:23🔗
Adam
See, Drew's a very lucky man in that he knows what he should eat or not eat to give him gas. Whereas for me, it's just serine crappity.
18:45🔗
Adam
Yeah. Now, the good news is, is I let 750,000 cubic feet of gas out in my den in the last hour and a half.
19:02🔗
Adam
Yeah, I love that. But there's still maybe something left. So we'll see if we can work that up. All right. Is there anything we're missing here, Drew?
19:39🔗
Adam
Pan Pan. Let me explain something. And I'm sure Pan Pan's listening, and I don't care care. Okay. And is this going to become the thrust of the show? You had to bring it up. I forgot about it. Okay, let me just tell everyone something, and then we'll move on. This is Closure from Thursday night.
19:57🔗
Adam
Pan Pan, a friend of Drew's wife, young kid, called me on my cell phone to try to sell me knives a week ago. I told him, because Drew's wife gave him my cell phone number. Which is a horrible mistake.
20:15🔗
Adam
He's a very pushy guy, this Pan Pan. Nice kid, pushy. He came in here and he wanted to sell me some knives. So I told him to come in and meet me here with Jimmy, and maybe I'd buy a knife. Well, what you guys don't know, and our audience is really going to appreciate this, what Pan Pan wanted to sell me is like a 32-piece set for $1,800 essentially. He had it in mind that he wanted to make like a $14 to $1,800 sale.
20:45🔗
Adam
Yeah, and what I had in mind is that I was going to buy a handful of steak knives for 80 bucks.
20:52🔗
Adam
Yeah, he was showing me stuff that was in the, in the, you know, over a grand. Oh my God. By the way, go talk to your wife about what she dropped. Oh, Drew's got a look on his face. Call her during the commercial, Drew, and find out what she dropped. So here's the deal. Pan Pan was here all night, cutting rope, screwing with me and Jimmy. He's a very pushy guy. And at the end of the night, I said to him, look, I got a set of those Henkel knives, those good German knives already. Actually, I have two sets of them. I don't need knives. But I'll tell you what I don't have. I don't have that cleaver. How much is that cleaver? Well, the cleaver is like 119 bucks, right? And just because Pan Pan's been bussing, you know, hanging out all night, and I was bussing his chops, and I like Jimmy, and Jimmy said he didn't have a cleaver. I didn't want to make it a waste of Pan Pan's time. I said, listen, Pan Pan, I said, I said, look, I'll tell you what, just give me the two cleavers, and we'll call it a night. And Pan Pan was pissed pissed. He was not happy to hear that at all. He kept going, like, no, come on, let me show you the catalog, this, that, and the other. And I finally said to him, look, you're lucky you're getting the two cleavers, just sign me up for the two cleavers, whatever I gotta do, and let's do it. Well, the two cleavers with shipping and everything, $270.
22:17🔗
Adam
Meanwhile, I was over at the Bed Bath and Beyond, and I saw the Henkel knife, which is sort of the, I don't know, Mercedes Benz of knives. I saw a cleaver, $39. $39. Okay, he wanted $119, fine, F it, give them to me. But then he was pissed, and he didn't say thanks, and he shoved the receipt at me, and he was angry, and he was like kind of curt and short, and like it was like the end of a bad date, where I'd try to grab a boob, and the chick was pissed or something. It was like really weird. And then I was driving home with Jimmy, and Jimmy said, hey, F him. And I said, well, he was disappointed. You know, he thought he was going to make a big sale. And he said, hey, F that guy. He spent 270 bucks, and he's like throwing the receipt at you, and he's pissed off. He's mad he had to come down to the radio station. He's calling you on his cell phone. F him. So he said, I'm going to call him and cancel the credit card. So it's canceled. Well, cancel the order. Call the credit card company. So Pan Pan, if you're listening, you had a sale, but your attitude screwed you in the end. Let that be a lesson to everybody. Thank you. Heather, you're 20.
23:30🔗
Caller
Well, I really, really want Dave Matthews' band tickets, and I didn't have money at the time when they went on sale. And I know this DJ from Radio Station, so I called him one night and I was kind of drunk. And I offered to give him a lap dance for some tickets, and I want to know if there's anything wrong with that.
23:54🔗
Yeah.
24:03🔗
Well, down at the station.
24:23🔗
Adam
Who flips the cassette on the boombox that he brings along. Hey, Heather. Yeah. Look, Drew got... Listen to what I'm going to say to Drew to make you feel better. Guys do these stunts all the time where they, you know, chug some gutter water or dive into a kiddie pool full of beans or something. They do all these stunts to get tickets for stuff. Yeah. All right, this is it. A few minutes of humiliation, you get your tickets and have a good time. You know what I'm saying? Guys shave their head or, you know, put the I'm gay sticker on their ass and walk around for a week. You know what I'm talking about? That's what this is. All right, fine, Heather.
25:03🔗
Caller
Well, is it acting out though? Because I've kind of always wanted to do that, you know, like people make a list of things they always wanted to do, like fly the plane.
25:10🔗
Drew
It's acting out, but it's not, provided this doesn't send you down a career path. It's, you know, it says something about you, but not necessarily.
25:23🔗
Yeah.
25:27🔗
I was, I wanted to ask a question.
25:32🔗
There is.
25:33🔗
Drew
That's cancer of everything, basically. All it means, cancer is, you know, your body is made up of many, many hundreds of different kinds of cell types, and a cancer is just one of those cell types suddenly dividing out of control. So, basically, anything can become cancer.
25:47🔗
So, I mean, it's something that could begin there or would end up there.
25:51🔗
It begins there.
26:00🔗
Drew
Yeah. But this, they're associated, cancer, the penis is associated with warts, the wart virus.
26:07🔗
Adam
So, let me just understand something. Your body has hundreds, thousands, or millions of different types of cells.
26:23🔗
Drew
Completely, yes. Very different. Differentiation, the cells differentiate in different types and different.
26:39🔗
Drew
Those cells suddenly de-undifferentiate and become, they don't connect with each other normally and they just start growing abnormally and then spread throughout your body.
26:53🔗
Drew
Well, no, no. It just determines the kind of cancer it is. Those cell types have certain characteristic behaviors when they become cancerous.
27:00🔗
Adam
But if you get liver cancer and you got your liver cells and they start not interlocking anymore.
27:12🔗
Drew
It doesn't do anything to your skin, but it travels all over your body before you even find out it's there. And it starts growing in your brain and growing in your liver. And then you got problems.
27:23🔗
It's Denisha. Whatever.
27:28🔗
All right. Thank you. Thank you.
27:34🔗
I wanted to know, like, if a boy got crazed, what do it look like? And what could it do to a girl? And what's the real name for it so I could look it up?
27:43🔗
Drew
Pubic lice is one way of calling them. And I can't remember the exact Latin name for it out of my head.
27:59🔗
Drew
And they look like little tiny, tiny little dots that move very, very slowly. They almost look like little tiny moles that when you look at closely, are lo and behold, are attached to the hair.
28:18🔗
What do they do to a girl? Does it get infected or?
28:28🔗
And so how would you get rid of it?
28:29🔗
Drew
You take a certain shampoo and soap that you get from your doctor and you have to get rid of it. Why are you worried about this?
28:38🔗
Because I didn't really know what it was. I just heard because somebody told me that the person who I was with had it and she was with him. And so I started getting all freaked out and stuff.
28:48🔗
Drew
Alright, well you're 14, you're having sex with guys, you don't know what sexually transmitted diseases are.
28:56🔗
Drew
But there are certainly more serious sexually transmitted diseases you should concern yourself with than just lice.
29:03🔗
Drew
Well, it's probably not crabs, it's probably something more serious, something like infection.
29:07🔗
Adam
Well, it's hard to tell, I know. When you start thinking you've got crabs, you immediately start itching, right?
29:33🔗
It could be scurvy.
29:35🔗
Drew
It could be herpes, it could be syphilis, doesn't typically hurt, but any ulcer needs to be looked at. While it's there, because that's needed, doctor needs to see the sore in order to make the diagnosis. Aye. All right.
29:59🔗
Drew
I don't know how he gets through like that. That shows just how persevering, how he perseveres.
30:04🔗
Adam
How does that work? Where somebody, you know, he must, did he get the hotline? Did Pan Pan get the hotline? How come we...
30:14🔗
Drew
Have people call, they say they've been calling for three years, finally got through. Pan Pan calls through every night.
30:20🔗
Drew
But this is Pan Pan. He's so tenacious. That's what I'm saying. That's proof, living proof.
30:24🔗
Adam
I'm going to let Pan Pan stew stew just a little bit longer. Talk to David over here. David's 19. David?
30:30🔗
How's it going?
30:32🔗
I got a question about a long-distance relationship, actually. All right. When we first started dating, we were living in the same city, and then this was near the end of high school. I actually didn't want to do anything serious, but for some reason it turned out that way. Who knows how? But she started going to school in San Antonio, and I started going to school in Tucson, and I really disliked it there, actually.
30:58🔗
Yeah.
31:02🔗
She wasn't there. That's the main reason.
31:10🔗
Yeah. Well, the weather didn't really bother me that much.
31:14🔗
Well, okay.
31:16🔗
It was big. I was working my ass off in the class.
31:20🔗
Drew
All right. All I hear you saying, David, over and over again is the safety of high school came to a close and magically you put your caboose right onto that one girl and it's clung to her like glue. And then you go off and try to establish a life for yourself elsewhere and it feels too big and you don't establish a life because you stay connected with that that idealized person, this girl. Yeah, it's not good. It's not a good situation. It's a typical thing that a 1920 year old will do when they're leaving home. So the healthiest thing for you to do is if you're able to form some very strong friendships and get a life for yourself in Arizona or find someplace that is suitable for you. But I suspect the reason you didn't like Arizona is the same reason you won't like anywhere else, is that you're too tied up emotionally elsewhere.
32:06🔗
Drew
You're having trouble leaving home, having trouble letting go of this relationship, and it's a normal thing.
32:34🔗
Dude, I can smell that all the way over here.
32:37🔗
Adam
That's like a weird... Don't craft yourself. You know what that is? It's like kid poo. That's like baby poo.
32:44🔗
What set you off?
32:45🔗
Adam
I don't know. I ate like a protein bar and a glass of milk, and I think that didn't sit with me right. I think it was the dairy, the protein, whatever it was. Wow. That was great.
33:18🔗
Yeah.
33:19🔗
Yeah.
33:24🔗
I have been smoking to the tune of five years or so.
33:27🔗
Yeah.
33:29🔗
Yeah.
33:30🔗
Well, yeah.
33:31🔗
And I'm wondering about impotency factors.
33:36🔗
Because I've heard it's the number one cause of impotency.
33:39🔗
Drew
If you want to believe that it will do it in five years, that will help you stop smoking, go ahead.
33:44🔗
Well, no, I don't.
33:46🔗
I'm just wondering, you know, how much time do I have here? When should I quit?
33:49🔗
Drew
I know it's very hard to tell, but the artery to the penis is more sensitive to the, let's call it the clogging effects of cigarettes, than say the arteries to the heart.
33:57🔗
Okay.
33:58🔗
Drew
And as you know, people smoke for many, many years before they get that heart attack, but you know.
34:07🔗
Drew
Well, he should be, you know, no, there really isn't. There really is no way to undo what cigarettes do. You can avoid other risk factors, maintain a normal cholesterol, exercise regularly, take vitamin E, take folic acid, this sort of thing. But ultimately, it's sort of re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic when you smoke because the cigarettes are so much more powerful.
34:26🔗
Oh, great.
34:48🔗
Adam
I could wheeze another one out, but I'm scared I'd cramp myself because I got a little diarrhea or something going in. It's a very fine line you walk when you-
34:59🔗
Adam
Diarrhea, how did I say that? Diarrhea. You can't articulate yourself any better than that. I drew clothes-
35:09🔗
Adam
Okay, let's talk to Pan Pan. For those of you who don't know Pan Pan, he's quickly become a new favorite of the show. They call me on my cell phone on Saturday, when they sell me knives. I never met him before. He came down here to try to sell me and Jimmy some knives. I ended up buying a couple of cleavers off of him.
35:28🔗
Adam
And Jimmy may have canceled the credit card order for the cleavers. I don't know actually if he did. I'm just saying he may have. Pan Pan, what's happening?
35:39🔗
Caller
Well, some guy called in and was like, I'm Adam Corolla. And I was like, in that kind of voice. And you obviously have a very distinct voice. I was like, no, you're not. But he had the order number. So I did cancel it.
36:03🔗
Adam
I don't have time. You've wasted enough of my time, Pan Pan. And listen, I was going to buy those overpriced cleavers and I had no problem with it. But your attitude was so piss poor at the end of the night.
36:30🔗
Adam
No, listen, you were disappointed that you didn't sell more and you were acting unprofessionally. And so Jimmy decided we should cancel it. And I agreed wholeheartedly with him.
36:42🔗
Caller
Can I tell you the reason I was a little bit upset wasn't because it didn't matter how much you bought, really. It was just the fact that you're doing the racial comedy or whatever it is you like to call it. That was what...
36:56🔗
Caller
You're talking about black people. Like, you know, we feel really sorry for these people. So we would have bought a lot if you were black.
37:08🔗
Adam
All right. Well, I feel like as a country, we've done worse to the blacks than we've done to the Chinese. So I would buy more from the blacks. Well, why is that racial?
37:20🔗
Adam
Yeah, why is that racial? There's certain groups I feel like I should give more money to. The blacks are up there. Chinese, you would beat out a white guy. Don't get me wrong.
37:35🔗
Adam
Well, hold on a second. Why is everything that has to do with color a negative? You know what I'm saying?
37:48🔗
Caller
But I felt that some of the things you were saying was a little bit across the line. That's just me.
38:05🔗
Caller
Well, the fact that you were like, well, if you had been in black, I probably would have bought from you.
38:10🔗
Adam
All right. But listen, you're not black, so that has nothing to do with you. That's no slight on your race. I'm bringing up another race. Drew, chime in.
38:21🔗
Drew
Well, I'm trying to remember what you had said. I remember feeling uncomfortable with some of the things you said.
38:28🔗
Drew
I'm uncomfortable right now because I can't get my face out of this shirt. All right, Pam Pam.
38:32🔗
Adam
Thanks for calling. Listen, no hard feelings. He was just a prick at the end of the night when I'd bought 270 bucks worth of cleaver off the guy.
38:50🔗
Adam
Listen, listen. Let me tell you about Pam Pam's chops. He called me on my cell phone on a Saturday and wanted to meet Sunday morning. Look, you want to play, play. If you don't want to play, don't call on the cell phone. Am I right? Thank you. All right. The Man Show is on. I got to make fun of the blacks and the Chinese. Drew, you want to do that during the break?
39:26🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. It's Dr. Drew. Over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Just getting to the end of the man show. Fabulous Comedy Central. I'm plugging away because the new series is now come out. Drew, who do we want to talk to?
39:47🔗
Hi.
40:22🔗
Caller
I really can't even stand when someone sort of touches me. I have to sort of prep myself.
40:41🔗
Adam
I'm not in a classical sense. I mean, according to Webster, yes, but not what you would tip. What happened there, Keith?
40:51🔗
Caller
I saw that coming. Well, I grew up in a household where my mother was beaten and my sister was beaten, but I wasn't ever touched. By whom?
41:08🔗
Drew
Makes me wonder that maybe somebody did do something to you, maybe one of your biological father, before he could really remember what was going on, sort of set you up for that kind of recoil against any kind of physical contact.
41:20🔗
Adam
It had to be terrorizing for a young kid to watch mom and sis getting smacked on anyway.
41:31🔗
Drew
Yeah, that's right. But these can create post-traumatic stress reactions and all kinds of...
41:38🔗
Caller
I tried that and it turned out disastrously. Why? The psychiatrist put me on a whole bunch of drugs and then he told me to go on to Social Security. He thought I was pretty non-functional.
42:01🔗
Caller
Um, a funny thing, um, six, I would say half a year ago, I was a technical writer, and in two months, I'm going to be in Japan teaching English, and right now I'm sort of in between some working construction on boats.
42:17🔗
Adam
All right. I would have been laughing if I was writing it down for my act. Well, it's, it's, it's, it's interesting, interesting, yes. Yeah, I think it's interesting. Right. All right. So, Keith, how about a little therapy, maybe not a psychiatrist, but maybe you do a little talk therapy.
42:40🔗
Adam
Find a, find a female, by the way, therapist, and sit down and get a relationship going and become comfortable with that female and don't fall in love with her, but have a nice bond and work out a few problems. And then next time you find a woman, take it slow and work it out. You need that punching bag chick.
43:07🔗
Adam
What would a behaviorist work on? Would they work on, like, fear of flying or something like that?
43:12🔗
Drew
They work on everything, as a matter of fact. You and I don't sort of talk about that, because the hard thing to talk about is not a dynamic approach to treating people's ill, but it is something that can be very useful. Where is he calling from? San Jose?
43:33🔗
Caller
Well, I went to a rock concert about six months ago, and I didn't take ear protection, and after the show I noticed that I had ringing in my ears, and it got to be pretty bothersome, and I was wondering if there's anything I could do about it. I went to an ear, nose, and throat guy who specializes in this, and he said that whatever damage there was, it's being aggravated by allergies, and so he gave me some antihistamines.
44:20🔗
Drew
You know, there's all kinds of things that can be done for this. I'm glad you saw a specialist to make sure there isn't something really correctable going on. The Ear Institute out here in Los Angeles uses their own little concoction that I've seen work called LBC complex and it has all these vitamins. It might be 12 and less than vitamin C and I don't understand quite the mixture. You're in Ohio.
44:48🔗
Drew
It's actually a vitamin complex. And so you might go that route. I don't know where you would look up.
44:55🔗
Drew
It's for dizziness and tinnitus and you might try to get niacin and people have advocated niacin for this sort of thing.
45:00🔗
Adam
All right. Here's what it is. My dad had this and I think he still does, which is you get this ringing in your ear and it never goes away.
45:10🔗
Adam
Thank God my dad was nuts, you know, 25 years ago. So it didn't seem to affect him much, but he really, really was driving him nuts. He was like he couldn't sleep, you know, I mean, he was, he was a troubled man.
45:25🔗
Adam
Now the ringing apparently, and I don't know, because his wasn't caused by stress. He wasn't any rock concert, but an age or whatever.
45:44🔗
Adam
Yeah, now I was told, at least by my dad, that it never really goes away. You just kind of get used to it. But his was caused by an injury, essentially.
45:58🔗
Drew
Do you know what I mean? No, what it is, it's a dropout of the microscopic hair cells in the cochlea, which is the inner ear apparatus. And once they're gone, they're gone. And the cells dropping out and dysfunctioning is what causes that high pitch.
46:11🔗
Adam
But it doesn't matter if somebody fired a starter's pistol off by your ear when you were 15 or at 68, it came on.
46:22🔗
Adam
It just seems like there'd be, the guy's 27. This seems like he's got, or 21, I should say. It seems like it's a better shot of some recovery than my old dad does.
46:31🔗
Drew
I'll tell you what, at the very least, because the brain is more plastic when you're younger, that the brain might find ways to sort of screen out the sound to make you more used to it more easily. But again, I would look into, you know, I'm trying to advise them where to go. You might call it your specialist you have. There are vitamins you can take. Because I've seen some success with vitamin C, niacin, and B vitamins.
46:53🔗
Caller
Well, I'm visiting my parents. And I think basically I might have caught my father having a homosexual affair. I suspected for quite some time that he's gay. And I don't have a problem with that. It's just my mother is very sick.
47:11🔗
Caller
She has a sarcoid condition. And it's spread to her heart and lungs. So she's in and out of the hospital.
47:20🔗
Drew
It's a non-caseating granuloma. That they don't know what causes it. Steroids. They need lots of steroids.
47:48🔗
Adam
Oh, really? Yeah, all right. So anyway, your mom, so your dad. Now, why do you think your dad's having a homosexual affair?
47:57🔗
Caller
Okay. Now, this says a lot about what type of person I am. First of all, I'm nosy. And I was working on his computer. Parents don't know anything about computers. So I was doing some work and I found a rather erotic letter that was written by someone that I certainly didn't know.
48:29🔗
Caller
No. Actually, after I did some more digging in the files, I found out it's the name my dad's been using. He's been writing to this man. I assume they met in some supplemental class that my dad's taking at a university. Then what happened was, last night, the phone rang. And I went to answer it because the phone is almost never for my father. And there's a man on the other end saying, are you sure they're not home? Is it okay for me to be calling you now? You know, do you want to go?
49:29🔗
It's so awful.
49:49🔗
Adam
Seriously, I'm telling you, if a white guy comes up to me and wants to sell me a magazine subscription, I tell him to get lost. A black guy does, I buy it from him. I just feel like we've done these people wrong. I should buy a magazine.
50:22🔗
Caller
No. So now we're sitting there and we can't talk to each other at all. Now he was not an easy man to get along with in the first place. Why? He was abused very much as a child. He has always been emotionally and mentally abusive.
50:44🔗
Drew
If you want to, which I can understand. But I can understand you might want to just sort of be in mutual sort of in some sort of little symbiotic state that's balanced, some homeostatic state that doesn't necessarily include a real close relationship, just something you would do. You sort of tolerate each other.
51:00🔗
Drew
You're cordial. A cordial relationship rather than a close relationship. But if you want a close relationship, you have to, you, because he will never do this, have to sit down and go, you know, I talked to this guy, you're going to have to start it and that will bring you closer because you'll have a chance to develop a relationship on an honest plane. But unless you're up for that, willing to do that or want to do that, it's going to stay just sort of cordial and distant.
51:47🔗
Mom, I'm so mad at you.
51:49🔗
Adam
I am so mad at you, mom. I get drunk and I yell across the table. I don't want any of you eulogizing me if I go before you do. I'm going to hire an outsider, do a better job.
52:03🔗
Adam
Yeah, I do you people. You're kind. That's what I normally do. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Joel. Joel is 26, wants to know if a birth control pill would help his wife decrease libido. I bet it would after this. Oh, hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. And let's move forward with some calls, see if we can't help some folks.
52:41🔗
Caller
Absolutely. Hey, before I start, I want to say that last week was one of the greatest Loveline Weeks you've ever had, and I'm really proud.
52:51🔗
Caller
The Clive Barker and Jimmy, they were just fantastic guests. They were talkative, and Clive even talked to the collars. I think that's great.
53:12🔗
Adam
As I tossed him little crackers like a seal. How dare you? Jimmy made his own jokes. He didn't just laugh at my jokes, and if he did, he did because it was funny.
53:21🔗
Caller
Yeah, Jimmy's a seven on the guest scale, but Clive, I'd have to put him in a good nine-five.
53:28🔗
Adam
Little Jimmy here. He got bumped out by Clive. Wouldn't it be great if we took the comedy of Jimmy Kimmel and the concern and intelligence of Clive Barker and turned him into a super guest?
53:44🔗
Adam
You know what I love about Drew, though? You know what I love about Drew? God bless him. It's like, if I would be doing this. What if you could take the strength of a cleanser and mix it with the ease and durability of a liquid bleach? Then you would... and Drew would chime in and go, Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was coming to...
54:08🔗
Adam
Forget it now. Let me just do a little reenactment. Wouldn't it be great if you could take the wit and humor of a Jimmy Kimmel and combine it with the intensity and caring of a Clive Bar-
54:26🔗
Adam
You could have Clive Kimmel. Thank you. Chris? Yeah. Oh, no, we're not talking to Chris, we're talking to Joel.
54:33🔗
Drew
Yeah, go ahead. My question was, wasn't not the case that last time Clive was in here, he was sort of this thin, wispy guy. Now he was sort of buffed out and wasn't he?
54:44🔗
Adam
Clive looked like he'd been working out and doing steroids, taking creatine nonstop since we, again, I'll tell you, the gays, they work out hard. Yeah, Clive looked good, but he was wearing a tank top, so I didn't want to comment on his physique, because it's always a weird thing.
55:08🔗
Adam
Well, I think the thing with Clive is he's probably got a pretty good-looking gym at his house, and gay guys aren't scared to hire a personal trainer. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And they got to stay in tip-top shape, because they ain't with a woman, they're with a man, and that's trouble. You know what I'm saying? A woman will hang out with a guy, the guy will get fat, he'll get bald, they don't care, they like it more. Gay guy won't go for that. You essentially, when you get in a gay relationship, you become a woman. No, no, no, listen to me, Drew.
55:44🔗
Adam
You see these women, these women are getting in their 40s, getting in their 50s, they're with a guy, maybe, so let maybe guy makes a nice income, or guy is a powerful guy. Oh yeah, they're going to the Pilates classes, they're taking, they're getting, they're going under the knife. I mean, there's a pressure to try to keep up. No matter how much he loves them, we know what society is. As a guy, as a gay guy, you're with a guy. You're both with guys. You know what I mean? And there's a little bit of that pressure.
56:11🔗
Adam
Why do you think you're average? Take a look at your average 45-year-old gay guy. Great shape, looks like he's 35. Take a look at your average 45-year-old straight married guy. Married straight 45-year-old guy.
56:26🔗
Adam
Fried hell. Fried hell. And then look at your average 45-year-old gay guys in a relationship. He looks like an Olympic gymnast.
56:40🔗
Caller
Okay. My question is, okay, my wife has been on the pill for the past five years or so and she thinks it could be contributing to her somewhat diminished sex drive.
56:49🔗
Caller
And so she went to the doctor. We have Kaiser, so she got some random Indian doctor. You know how that is. And she didn't seem willing to change the prescription because of that, but after she was having any other symptoms, she said she cramps a little bit. So she gave her something different. And I was wondering if there's something a little better than hit or miss in terms of what might be a much better pill for her to be on.
57:15🔗
Drew
It's either ortho 777 or triphasol or orthotricycline. For some women, those some women, that's not the case. The other is increase the estrogen dose, diminish, try to lower the progesterone, increase the estrogen. And again, and it's still hit or miss, though.
57:32🔗
Adam
Let me tell you something about the Indians. Feast or famine when it comes to employment, either doctors or cab drivers or convenience store guys. No in-between Indian guys. No architect Indian guy. Did you have construction school teacher? No construction worker guy. No, no in-betweeners. Doctor, cab driver. That's it.
57:52🔗
There is no racial bigotry here.
58:00🔗
Yeah.
58:03🔗
Caller
First of all, I agree with the last caller about last week's shows being stellar. It was really good.
58:08🔗
Caller
And Jimmy was good to have around all the way. And I'm not kissing your ass to say this. I've seen you guys go head to head on the quips. You were definitely ahead.
58:25🔗
Caller
Excellent. Well, here's my deal. Like you, I'm a boo man, right? Maybe because I live in Southern California, I encounter a lot of boob jobs. Now, the twist here is that's a deal breaker for me. I don't want to even do the girl, if that's the case. So, how about this? Have relations with her, if that's the case. So, before I get down that path and people's feelings get hurt, and I've invested a couple of dinners or whatever it is, God forbid. How do I find out ahead of time in some delicate way?
59:16🔗
Caller
I couldn't tell when they were unclothed, but that's fine. Usually, you can't tell when they are clothed, and then when you're in bed, you can tell then.
59:24🔗
Adam
Yeah, I'll give them that, but most women who've had a boob job, especially if it's a fairly recent boob job, and I'm guessing if you're dating women in their mid-20s, it is a fairly recent boob job.
59:42🔗
Adam
They will show them off a little bit, and that's how you'll tell. They'll be wearing a shirt that you should wear a bra with, but they're not wearing a bra because they're like, F it, I'm defying gravity.
59:54🔗
Adam
I paid for these. And they'll sort of let you, I mean, if they don't mention it, they'll certainly stick them out there.
1:00:01🔗
Caller
So you wouldn't, it's basically politically incorrect in the course of the conversation to say, hey, you had cosmetic surgery.
1:00:10🔗
Adam
Well, I think if you're smooth enough and get on to that topic and leave the window open here, again, when you want someone to admit something, you always leave the window open by not coming down on the topic. Right.
1:00:27🔗
Adam
It's like when I used to talk to my uncle, it's like, boy, I love pedophilia. Don't you? You know, just see-
1:00:35🔗
Adam
Yeah. Just to see if I could get the guy to crack. I see. You know, you don't say, I think everyone who's had plastic surgery should be rounded up and thrown in a volcano. You go, listen, I don't see what the big deal is. I think those other chicks are just insecure. Hey, if I was a chick, I'd do it myself. That will open the door for them. And then if they admit it, you freak on them and leave.
1:01:01🔗
Adam
But listen, you know, Chris, I'm not a big fan of the fake ones either, unless they're circus novelty fake.
1:01:13🔗
Adam
That's right. That's right. Thank you very much. Oh, my God. Who is number one? That's right. Number one Asian big blue coin.
1:01:36🔗
Drew
So why don't you bring up the topic? Why don't you, once they say, yes, I have, I had implants put in, discuss the possibility of them really going back and doing it right.
1:01:56🔗
Adam
Yeah. I don't like the small implants. To me, there's nothing in it for me. Number one. Number one. Speaking of number one, Drew, you want to go do number one?
1:02:09🔗
Adam
We'll be back. Hey everybody, it's Love Line. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. This just popped in my head, Drew. I was watching this thing on Liberace a couple of days ago. There's certain things, I believe, in our society that are made too much of, like when the Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders talked about masturbating being healthy and we fired her and made a big deal out of it. Then there's certain things that aren't made a big enough deal of, like we need to pay a little more attention to as a media. Let's see what that is. Liberace getting his boyfriend carved up multi-multi-plastic surgeries to look like Liberace when Liberace was 20.
1:03:12🔗
Adam
Yes. Liberace at age, I don't know, 55, hooks up with a 19 or 20 year old guy, shows the plastic surgeon a picture of himself at 19 or 20 and says, look, I don't care how much money it takes and how long it takes. Make him look like me when I was 20 so I can blow myself.
1:03:36🔗
Adam
One would think there should be a discussion about the Hippocratic Oath with those particular surgeons. And that's what I love about plastic surgeons. They'll really do anything if the price is right. But just in terms of the media, we could have hung on to that one or hit that one just for another beat or two. Do you know what I'm saying? It's something that people were aware of, but it's not something that we really talk about enough. That is as effed up as it gets. You're having your young guy converted into you so you can eff yourself in the A. So Al can eff himself in the A. That's really weird, isn't it? Yes. And you know what I love about society? Society is like, all right, all right. That's a little eccentric, but boy, could he play the hell out of that piano. Did you see some of those capes he wore? Magnificent. I really can't get past the part where he's effing himself in the ass, though. That's the part I would have trouble getting by. If I was hanging with Liberaceva, as a friend of his, I would do, see, to me, he would fall into the flawed category, and then I would have difficulty appreciating other aspects of his personality.
1:04:52🔗
Drew
Well, you can rest assured that the people that evaluate your performances would have found him a fine showman. You know what I'm saying?
1:04:59🔗
Adam
That's true. Oh, yes, yes, like Tom Shales. Yes, that's right. The wonderful, wonderful reviewer, Tom Shales. Hey, another episode of The Man Show picked up. That'll be our fourth, Tom. Keep writing, you old sack. Keep writing, buddy. I'm laughing all the way to the bank. Matt?
1:05:25🔗
Adam
Right. I don't need knives. That's one of the... That's the main irony of this whole few nights that we've dedicated to knife sales. I never needed knives. Does anyone need knives? Not really. Not really. No. Here's the deal. When you need knives, you go get knives. I got a drawer full of knives. I got a butcher block full of knives. I'm knife heavy. I could use a cleaver. I'll tell you that.
1:05:59🔗
Adam
No, no. I don't. But you know why, Matt? Because I'm sure I make more money than you do, and you should take that free stuff and either keep it or sell it to somebody or give it to someone who needs it.
1:06:13🔗
Adam
No, don't worry. No, I trust Matt. I appreciate him calling and trying to heal my knife wounds, as it were. But I really don't need any. And that's the whole thing. It's tough when you try to make a sale to someone who doesn't need it. Brad?
1:06:28🔗
Hi.
1:06:34🔗
Caller
I invented, like not me personally, I've heard about it through my friends, this technique where you press in between your balls and your ass when you're about to cum and nothing will come out.
1:06:48🔗
So back in your bladder?
1:06:56🔗
Drew
As far as I know, it's not the healthiest thing you can do. I've not seen any emergency room visits because of it recently, but things need to come out of you generally need to come out.
1:07:04🔗
But it's not gonna kill me and keep my sheets clean though, right?
1:07:07🔗
Adam
Yeah, it is true. I mean, what about the smokeless penis over there? I mean, it does get a little messy.
1:07:15🔗
Yeah.
1:07:16🔗
Adam
Yeah, it is a way to prevent that. If you urinate, then moments after that, will it be cloudy?
1:07:22🔗
I imagine.
1:07:29🔗
Adam
I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I'm no fag. I don't look at mine either. I mean, I was just kidding. I mean, I don't know who does that. I like when people answer that that way. I don't exactly examine.
1:07:41🔗
Adam
Yeah. You're standing over the toilet. Is the light on in the bathroom? Yes. You know, when you eat vitamin bean, it's a day glow orange or bright yellow. Do you see that or do you not look at your own pee? I hate that in people because I examine mine. But I pee in the sink. So I get a good look. I get a good look at everything that comes out of it.
1:08:17🔗
Adam
Yeah. Oh, and Ashley, turn your radio down. I pee in my sink at home almost exclusively.
1:08:37🔗
Drew
Given that you seem to have some sort of special romance for the sink, maybe you can really rig the sinks up in such a way that they won't splash.
1:08:44🔗
Adam
No, they don't. I'll tell you what I enjoy about the sink. It's the right height. You pee in the toilet, it's splashing everywhere, it's getting all over the sink. Oftentimes, for me, that sort of forked configuration or dog leg, just a head right into the magazine rack.
1:09:12🔗
Adam
I give it a quick rinse, but it's probably equivalent of a glass full, not two gallons. See what I'm saying?
1:09:39🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah, I don't mind. Sometimes my toothbrush is in there. I'll just go right around it.
1:09:48🔗
Adam
I'll rinse a little water on it. No big deal. I don't care about that stuff. I really don't. Listen, everything you eat, everybody has had, God knows what, done to it before it gets to your mouth. Don't worry about something dropping on the ground. Well, you're in a sterile.
1:10:00🔗
Adam
That's what I, you know, it's your voice saying, you're in a sterile that echoes in my brain as I whizz on my toothbrush.
1:10:06🔗
Drew
When you get caught at sea, you can drink your own urine for a while anyway. But listen, you have a girlfriend.
1:10:22🔗
Adam
No, I want to make it clear. I do not intentionally urinate on my toothbrush. There'll be a time when I'll go in there and the toothbrush will be in there. I've already started the urination.
1:10:53🔗
Caller
Hi. Two weeks ago, I was making out with this new guy that I'm dating. And we were just fooling around. And then he came all over my private part. And then he started to finger me. And I took it out really quick because I was like, what are you doing? So I'm asking, is there any chance I can get any kind of disease?
1:11:48🔗
Adam
Alright. Ashley? Yeah. Alright. You're right. I didn't say destroy your radio and said turn it down.
1:12:20🔗
Caller
Um, it was just like, you know, he wanted to have sex. I didn't want to do it. So I was just giving him a hand job.
1:12:27🔗
Adam
Wow. God bless him. I would have taken me an hour and 45 minutes to have one drop of semen like in a weird kind of push up position with someone reaching between their legs, like trying to milk me like a cow. Wow, this guy, even Drew is a passionate, passionate man, couldn't have pulled that one off.
1:12:57🔗
Drew
Yeah, but I'm trying to understand what contact you're concerned with. You're concerned that there's something on his hand?
1:13:16🔗
Drew
It is your question. Can someone's hand transmit a sexually transmitted disease? Or is your question, if semen was on his hand and he dragged that in, can I get anything from the semen?
1:13:46🔗
I don't know.
1:14:04🔗
Drew
Well, I mean, if he's not specific in the risk category, your risks are fairly slim, but the risk for pregnancy is quite substantial, so you've got to get that morning after pill. How long ago did this happen?
1:14:13🔗
Adam
Alright, she's not pregnant. You're fine, Ashley. Next time you put down some like a tarp, some viscone or something, some plastic. I'm amazed at this guy. I could not do that. Did you do that? You could. I wish I could. If I could do that, I'd be going to one of those oriental massages every day. Every single day. I'd pee in the sink and then I'd go right to the oriental massage and just right on my way to work.
1:15:00🔗
Adam
Thank you. Totally true. And I'm not about to start and it's too late. Hey, you can try, ladies.
1:15:28🔗
Drew
Just be a tourist. We haven't had a vacation, a non-business vacation in like four years.
1:16:00🔗
Caller
I was wondering, is it possible that a person could have a tapeworm and not really be aware of it at all?
1:16:08🔗
Drew
Yeah, but you would get certain kinds of anemias and nutritional deficiencies and you'd pass pieces of the tapeworm eventually. I think it's called proglottids come out.
1:16:22🔗
Caller
Right, the segments are in the stools. Is it, but would you be able to have the symptoms and not really kind of be aware that you have a tapeworm?
1:16:44🔗
Adam
It makes sense. I love it when they talk about pulling that six foot one out of somebody or something. I'd love to know the record of that.
1:16:52🔗
Drew
The other thing is they pass their eggs and the eggs, the larvae get into your body and go to your brain. It's a big mess.
1:17:00🔗
Caller
I just read this book called Guess What Came to Dinner? I don't know if you've heard of it at all.
1:17:08🔗
Caller
And it's basically about parasites and all the various forms of parasites. And that was one that I read in the book.
1:17:16🔗
Drew
Oh yeah. We see them up here in Los Angeles because people go to Mexico. So we see Ascaris and we see occasionally tapeworm.
1:17:26🔗
Caller
Well, in the book she briefly mentioned that a person could have a tapeworm or a specifically tapeworm. I was just kind of thinking because I'm really skinny.
1:17:35🔗
Drew
Don't worry about it. James, it's not about being skinny. It's about having specific deficiency of nutrition, and anemia is a various type. You don't have it. We see something called cysticercosis down here. It's interesting. When I was in medical training, we were seeing cysticercosis when it was on the leading cause of seizure. And when you looked in the textbook, they would say, well, this is very, very extremely rare in other countries. You know, this thing you rarely see in the United States. Cysticercosis, we saw it every day because-
1:18:00🔗
Adam
Because we're close to the border. Hey James, what's up with you? I mean, you're reading books on parasites and freaking out.
1:18:10🔗
Caller
No, no, the thing is, is I was just at the library and it was really kind of on a whim. I pulled it out and I just kind of glanced through it. And I'm really skinny and I'm really tired a lot and I don't gain, you know, any weight whatsoever. I eat like a horse.
1:18:30🔗
Caller
Yeah, I either attribute it to the depression or to the digestive tract and I would...
1:18:35🔗
Adam
What are you doing at the library? Where is that? Is that the place that keeps the books?
1:18:42🔗
Adam
It does not have the word book in it. That's the part. I always object to it with that name.
1:19:16🔗
Adam
A girl? Yeah. Is she your girlfriend? No. Yeah. Something's missing. You need some friends. You need to get laid. You need something. Something's missing. She's 25, she's hanging out at the place with the bed, it's got the roof and the books under it. Say that again.
1:19:50🔗
Caller
My girlfriend or like I was seeing her and I think she had an abortion last year and she had called like last week and I didn't know what to say to her and so I just hung up on her.
1:20:10🔗
Adam
I don't. You know why? Because it's an extension of that call we had where the guy was, got the chick pregnant.
1:20:32🔗
Drew
She called him after a year. He didn't talk to her after this maybe abortion. I think she had. I know she had. And then he hung up on her.
1:20:49🔗
Caller
But then after like that, we just stopped seeing each other. Because she lives in Norwalk and I live in Downey. And so I didn't even talk to her. My friends had seen her and stuff and she had said hi.
1:21:15🔗
Caller
Like, it's just I sort of feel betrayed. Betrayed? Like I didn't know about it at all.
1:21:26🔗
Caller
We weren't even together. It was like we were seeing each other because it's a long story.
1:21:31🔗
Adam
All right, well listen, she lives in Norwalk. You live in Downey and this thing was doomed. I mean, it would never work. It's what you call forbidden love. I mean, Norwalk and Downey, they got to be 11 miles apart. How far apart is Norwalk and Downey?
1:21:49🔗
Adam
Jesus Christ, you idiot. Oh my God. What, you know, I drive through, I know there's a lot of people live in those towns and a lot of people listen to the show. I have no idea where those places are. We have people that are in Washington, DC and Chicago and San Francisco right now have no idea where Norwalk and Downey is. I live in LA. I have no idea where Norwalk and Downey is. All I know is about twice a year I have to drive through them on my way to somewhere else and I look around I go, who the F would live here? Why? Why live here? Why? What's in it for you? I think and then I realize then I see dogs, you know, on a hot summer day and they're lying in dirt and I think, hey, there's a there's some shade about four feet over from where you are and there's a nice blanket and then I just realize they don't even know it. They don't know it. That's what I think when I drive through Downey and Norwalk. I think that dogs don't know it.
1:22:44🔗
Drew
Listen, George, here's the deal. She went through something awful, not you. How about being supportive of her? How about coming around and just at least being cordial, saying hi, seeing what's going on with her. She had the abortion. Right. It's her decision. It's her right.
1:22:58🔗
Adam
Listen. It's awful for her. Listen, if this is true, he dodged a bullet. He don't want to be. This was a year ago. It would have been 15 year old daddy. For Christ sake, feels betrayed. Just saved you a bunch of money. Michelle. I mean, Michael. Yeah. You're 16. Yeah. What's up?
1:23:33🔗
Caller
And I found them in their bedroom in a drawer. They're like pictures of them with their friends. Like doing stuff.
1:23:43🔗
Caller
Like one of her friends, you know, like sitting in front of the camera, like playing with herself or whatnot. And then my mom with one of her friends, like like doing stuff.
1:24:23🔗
I just...
1:24:34🔗
Adam
Now, don't give me that crap. Listen, if you're not stoned right now, I'm gonna call in a Medevac helicopter and we're gonna bring you in for an MRI. You gotta be baked. Nah, right. Hey, Michael, just hang on for a little while. I think he's full of crap.
1:24:55🔗
Adam
On the other hand, he could be baked and freaked out, but I'm pretty sure he's full of crap. He's having difficulty answering simple questions. But listen. Listen, don't snoop around your parents' stuff.
1:25:10🔗
Adam
Ever. Because you will find things in there you do not want to see. Just like if they snoop around your crap, they're going to find stuff. But it's twice as freaky. Thank God my dad had nothing. Ever. Nothing. Who knows? No. That idiot, nothing. Zero. Not a playboy, not a dildo, not a roach clip, nothing. I guarantee not a gun, not like Elvis' belt buckle, nothing.
1:25:41🔗
Drew
Sometimes those are the guys that have those alternative lives. He lives, he's actually, he plays pony with the SNM people somewhere, pulls a little wagon behind him.
1:25:53🔗
Adam
All right. We're going to take a little break. When we come back, we're going to talk about the vacuum that increases the bus size after this. Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew. Over there.
1:26:20🔗
Adam
And I was going to say this. I didn't say it on the air. I was going to tell you off there. If my dad died tomorrow, and I would never even think about going by and like collecting whatever I had. It's nothing. As a car that I lease him and then a bunch of books. That's it.
1:26:38🔗
Adam
There's nothing. No pictures, no baseball, autograph, no, no, no, no, our family has no heirlooms. There's no chess, there's no, nothing's been passed down. Nobody has anything.
1:26:56🔗
Caller
Yeah, basically a tapeworm is a segmented worm like an earthworm. You guys all know an earthworm. It's an analyte in the Philemonelida. But you look at an earthworm, it's composed of a series of segments. And what the perglottids are...
1:27:13🔗
Caller
Yeah, it's basically just a reproductive stack. And just comparing it to an earthworm, you know, a series of segments make up the earthworm, where the perglottid is a reproductive segment of the tapeworm.
1:27:25🔗
Caller
It comes off of the back of the tapeworm. I mean, obviously near the head, you have a head with suckers and hooks on it that attach it to the intestine. And as the tapeworm, I mean, as you go from the head to the tail of the tapeworm, the perglottids will mature in each perglottid. You have ovaries, testes, and the uterus. And when the egg mature, you know, as the perglottids pass down from closer to the head to the tail, they mature and they break off. They, you know, they leave the body and the feces. If they get mixed in with water or whatever, you know, if a cow or a pig eats them, then that gets in the cow, then it sits in the muscle tissue. And if you don't eat the cow or the pig, you eat that and you get that, right? Exactly.
1:28:12🔗
Caller
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not sure, but I remember that our teacher was talking about that. It happens, what happens in some of these maids that come over from third-world countries. They have it, and what happens is that they go to the bathroom and when they wipe, they don't really get it too well and they get some of the feces underneath their fingernails. And then when they go to prepare some food for the people they're made for, what happens is that that gets in their food and the people eat it, and the tapeworms, you know, they're beef or pork, tapeworms. So they're searching around, you know, they're used to being, you know, as far as, you know, evolutionary, they're used to being in a cow or a pig.
1:29:03🔗
Adam
Yeah. Hey, Brian, how big is the biggest reported tapeworm? And not that you know, but...
1:29:17🔗
Oh, in sperm whales.
1:29:25🔗
Adam
That is great. And I wonder how... Now, but what about in a human? Is it 6 feet, 9 feet?
1:29:31🔗
Caller
Actually, I have my biology book right here. I think I said 20 meters. Large tapeworms, which may be 20 meters or more in length.
1:29:39🔗
Caller
No, no, no. And rob enough nutrients from the human host to cause nutritional deficiency. All in the same sentence.
1:29:52🔗
Yeah.
1:29:54🔗
Caller
So, I don't know. I mean, intuitively, it doesn't make sense, but also, intuition never really works that well with somebody.
1:30:05🔗
Drew
Well, they grow in there. They grow in there. They don't start in there. They just set up, and then they grow and grow and grow.
1:30:15🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. Look, they found a 60-footer in a sperm whale. That's an animal that's 100 feet long. I'll buy that. And what they're saying is they get up to 65 feet in sperm whales and they rob the human of nutrients, but it's not that 65-footer. That's just bad writing. Thank you.
1:30:51🔗
Adam
Oh, Drew, please. You're boring the hell of our poor listeners. Just hung up on the poor... Listen, thank you for the call and thanks for the info. And I'll tell you, the only thing worse than having a tapeworm in you would be to be high and have a tapeworm in you too.
1:31:15🔗
Oh.
1:31:17🔗
Adam
Imagine being high and mushrooms and no one you had a tapeworm. See that? That's life. Kimberly?
1:31:26🔗
Caller
Yes, I have two questions. The first one is about, like, I heard about this vacuum pump bra thing where, like, one wears it for 12 hours a day and it stretches the tissue and then after a while, new tissue grows or something.
1:31:40🔗
Caller
And then after she stops using it, she'll, like, she'll strain a little bit, but then she'll, like, have larger breasts than when she started. Yeah. Has Dr. Drew heard about this?
1:31:53🔗
Adam
What is the difference between a penis and in breasts in terms of the makeup? Not you, Brainiac.
1:32:06🔗
Adam
But we know that the penis pumps don't really work by doing the same sort of vacuum of fat.
1:32:13🔗
Drew
Let's put it this way. If you put a sucking device on your belly, would you expect the fat to enlarge?
1:32:19🔗
Adam
I would imagine if you had a sucking device on one part of your belly for a long period of time that the skin would probably get a little stretched out.
1:32:29🔗
Drew
So you might be getting that kind of an effect. There might be some inflammation, so it might swell. How do you get glandular growth? I can't imagine that that would.
1:32:38🔗
Caller
They say the breast tissue and the other tissue, whatever, increases in the same proportion. They say new tissue actually grows. I don't know, they create new tissue?
1:32:47🔗
Adam
Well, listen, when women have a mastectomy, don't they oftentimes get new skin there by putting things under stretching and doing things like that?
1:32:59🔗
Adam
They rebuild the breast? I don't know. What's going on with your breast now, Kimberly?
1:33:24🔗
Caller
Yeah, well, like, can I tell you what it is and then you can look it up or something?
1:34:01🔗
Adam
Here's the point. Don't worry about your breast size. Worry about that ass of yours. Guys do not care as much about big breasts as they do about a tight ass.
1:34:12🔗
Adam
I know you do. You're compensating for the big ass. I'm saying focus on losing the ass and let nature take its course and stop focusing on the breast. She's wasting her time with this.
1:34:23🔗
Drew
Unless, of course, you would, of course, have her get some sort of gigantic sack implant, some huge, huge sack, then that would be different.
1:34:30🔗
Adam
Some novelty breast sack implant. Yeah, if she was really interested in that, sure. Yeah, if she was my bitch, of course. Marie?
1:34:44🔗
Caller
My cousin is 14 and she's the only cousin I have, just to put it simply, and so me and her have been really close since I was really young. And Thursday, I got a call from her dad saying that she had run away. And she just came back, I think it was tonight, and I guess I'm just concerned because I don't know what to say to her anymore. She's really, the average change I guess you could say in the sense that she's like been sexually active and she's into the drugs and all that.
1:35:19🔗
Adam
It's an average for this show. Yeah, well, usually when you run away from home, there's something pretty heavy going on at home.
1:35:30🔗
Caller
Yeah. Her parents are divorced, but the thing is that her mom, it's been recorded that, yeah, she used to abuse her and the next time that happened, she's supposed to call the police and show the police.
1:35:41🔗
Drew
This is not an average situation. Although there's a lot of this in our country, this is a severely disturbed situation, and she needs help.
1:35:53🔗
Drew
You need to encourage her to stay with that, because there's nothing you can do to change this, except to encourage her to get the proper care. Treatment does work, and this is a profoundly disturbed situation. Teach her about, maybe about drugs and about the effects they have on a developing brain so she doesn't do herself permanent harm.
1:36:14🔗
Caller
I'm a gay male, and I have a best friend, and she's 26. And I was wondering, like, how would I be able to get her pregnant without actually having intercourse? I've seen it, I think, was on Queer as Folk, where you can, like, come in a cap and then put it into her.
1:36:32🔗
Drew
Yes, you can go get a fertility specialist to do that for you, artificial insemination.
1:37:03🔗
Caller
Well, we kind of talked about it a little bit, but we didn't go in-depth and talk about it.
1:37:07🔗
Drew
What's the hurry? You're 20 and 26. And by the way, you're talking about somebody else's life here. Have a little talk about it before. Have the in-depth talk.
1:37:17🔗
Caller
I'm kind of scared by having the in-depth talk, because we touched on it, but we didn't get deep into it.
1:37:23🔗
Drew
Yeah, because you're afraid of what you're going to find out about what her intentions are, and you better know that going in.
1:37:38🔗
Adam
James, yeah, give yourself a little time. I mean, what are you doing? You might as well get in a relationship yourself with a guy.
1:37:50🔗
Adam
And then you adopt a kid, or you knock up some folk singer or something, or whatever they do. I mean, how's your life going? Is your job good?
1:38:02🔗
Adam
All right. But you're not getting rich off of this. You know, I mean, give yourself a few years. Don't put any pressure on yourself. And whatever it is that you want a kid for, it's the wrong reason. You want a kid for a reason now. For you. And that's the reason why you shouldn't have a kid.
1:38:25🔗
Drew
There's satisfaction you can expect out of being a father, having a family, but it's giving of yourself, not creating someone else to serve your needs.
1:38:33🔗
Adam
Right. And by the way, as a gay guy, you can't bang a chick once. Do you know what I'm saying? Come on. I mean, would she let him do it? James?
1:38:49🔗
Caller
I don't know. All right. I think I would be kind of scared to do it with her. I've been with females before, but...
1:38:55🔗
Adam
They got teeth down there. Yeah. You stay away from those chicks. I agree. But listen, James, please, no kids for a while. Just take it slow. You got plenty of time. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Wanda. Wants to know if there's any way she can damage yourself with a vibrator after this. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. Let's, uh, this little belch there, Drew. Let's talk to Wanda. It's 36. Wanda?
1:39:47🔗
Oh, boy.
1:39:48🔗
Adam
I was going to jack off to this, and then I heard Wanda laugh, and now I got to move on. Hey, uh, Wanda?
1:40:43🔗
Adam
Oh, do I hate it? How often? Imagine, if I were as a doctor, I'd tend to take swings at these people while they're in my office. How often do you use it? Well, whenever I'm alone, but that's not very often.
1:40:56🔗
Adam
Hey, no. But do you realize that that answer to me means nothing? That could mean three times a week or it could mean three times a year. Do you understand? It's a zero answer. It's a nothing answer. All right. So you're married. How's that going?
1:41:13🔗
Guest
Well, I think because I have used a vibrator, that I'm not that much interested in my husband.
1:41:20🔗
Adam
No, no way. Twice a month? Once or twice a, what did you say? A couple of times a month?
1:41:48🔗
Drew
If you're using it every day, I could sort of go down that path, but no, not once or twice a month.
1:42:00🔗
Adam
How about you do me a favor so the kids can be properly educated? Put them on to a catapult and just launch them toward the sun. Give them a chance at a good life and a good education. Because you're really out of it, Wanda.
1:42:30🔗
Guest
Um, I just, I don't know. I've been with my husband for about 17 years. I don't know. You tell me.
1:43:11🔗
Adam
For the auto accidents. Do you understand that talking to you is like trying to work out a crossword puzzle while you're jogging? It's a pain in the ass and near impossible to try to get any answers out of you. You don't seem to track normally. You know what I mean? Like we're trying to get some answers out of you for this conversation. We're having difficulty.
1:43:39🔗
Adam
Yeah, but in the kind of way where we have to ask three times and then there's some confusion. You take medication only because of the car accidents. People have asked you to take medication for your mood, right?
1:43:56🔗
Adam
Okay, but other people think maybe you do. I'm not saying you're homicidal. I'm just saying there's something with your mood going on, right? Yes. Okay, so I'll start answering my own questions. Why don't you start taking those medications that the people ask you to take?
1:44:25🔗
Adam
That you have difficulty sort of connecting things. How old is your kid? Twelve. Good. He'll be out on his own in a couple of months so that'll be fine. We don't have to worry about him. Is he or she doing okay?
1:44:50🔗
Guest
Yeah. I do a lot of stuff. I work Monday through Friday and I take care of my family.
1:45:12🔗
Adam
All right. I understand that can be classified stuff. If you don't want your folks finding out you're doing secretarial work, you're not able to call the feds. All right there, Wanda. No.
1:45:24🔗
Adam
You're fine with the vibrator. All right. But listen, seriously, I do get a little vibe off you and I'm never wrong. So maybe you should talk to your- whoever wanted you to take that medicine, why don't you talk to them again and just see what else they wanted. All right?
1:45:38🔗
Drew
See what their assessment is. Maybe get another assessment by the specialist if you don't trust that person.
1:45:47🔗
Adam
I'll tell you, I wouldn't want to be Wanda, but I would in one way in that I could really enjoy even bad movies.
1:45:56🔗
Guest
Hi. Last night, I went to a party and I tried ecstasy for the first time. I don't want to become an addict, but it felt so good. I mean, lately, I've been really depressed, crying, waking up.
1:46:14🔗
Adam
I'll tell you, we really have the world's dumbest callers. They have no idea where they are. Do you realize that, Drew?
1:46:25🔗
Drew
I know. And let's just finish. We can't start a new call. We have 30 seconds left. Come on. Katie?
1:46:47🔗
Guest
No, I'm really jittery and everyone at the party tried it and I was like, might as well I try it too. I tried it, it felt great, but now I'm coming down and I can't sleep.
1:47:04🔗
Drew
Well, but you've been depressed and this can exacerbate that. Why don't you keep your depression taken care of? That's why you can't sleep probably.
1:47:12🔗
Guest
Okay. And I don't want to do anything stupid because all this stuff has been happening in my life.
1:47:20🔗
Guest
Oh, my parents want to get a referral on my best friend to keep her away from me and stuff.
1:47:39🔗
Drew
Listen, if you had a life-threatening, a heart problem, a stroke, would you go see someone about it?
1:47:56🔗
Adam
Okay. Listen, you're smart. You got some problems, but you're smart, okay? Take care of this. A little baggage to having a good IQ like Katie has is sometimes you get tortured. You wouldn't know about that, Drew, but I, as an intellectual and an artiste, know that nor the torture.
1:48:32🔗
Drew
Geez, we made it through this night without much more gas. I can't, I really was kind of nervous.
1:48:47🔗
Drew
Hey, next week, Best Of, we got Violent J visiting. Oh, Jesus Christ. Tony Hawk, Andy Dick, oh my God.
1:49:09🔗
Adam
Triumph. Oh, that's big. That's big. That's what you call a clutch, my friend. That's why it was called Clutch Corolla in high school on the baseball team, is I would come through when the chips were down.
1:49:20🔗
No talent ass clown.
1:49:37🔗
Adam
Yeah. She's hot. Jeremy McGrath, Lincoln Park, Kathy Griffin, Shaggy, all the good people coming up. All right. So let's take a little break. No. Yeah. It's bad in here now. What timing. What timing. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla's asshole, say mahalo. What kind of vibrator?
1:50:01🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.