1:38🔗
Yeah, whatever.
2:08🔗
Yep, it is Loveline.
2:10🔗
That is Dr. Drew over there.
2:12🔗
Adam
Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is aboard Certified Physician. Oh, boy. There we are. There we go. An addiction medicine specialist.
2:25🔗
All right.
2:26🔗
Adam
Now, Anderson, I'm not going to take the mic, the backup mic until the thing Fs up again, all right? Okay.
2:35🔗
Adam
That's right. Sunday night, no guest tonight. Just the love that the hosts find between each other. Sunday night, we're going to do a special Loveline, pick a special topic, which is going to be ecstasy, and we're going to have, what are we doing, Drew?
2:52🔗
Drew
We're going to have people that claim it's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and then we're going to have some doctors to talk about what actually happens to people that expose their brain to this garbage. All right. Yes, and then we're going to do a morning after pill in about a week. I spent my whole day, my whole morning in the library, researching, getting my ammunition together for those mother efforts, as you would say. Library, library.
3:16🔗
Oh, I see.
3:18🔗
Adam
And then next week we'll have Andy Dick and David Alan Greer and Brian Hurtett. Wow, three of my favorite guys. I really like all those guys. So, it's a good week next week and tonight.
3:31🔗
We'll take some calls, have some fun.
3:34🔗
Hey, what's going on?
3:38🔗
Caller
Um, see, I made a little mistake, y'all. I, um, accidentally had got drunk and slept with my, uh, my best friend's girlfriend.
3:56🔗
Caller
Okay, okay. Listen, you guys. This is the big thing right here. Okay, um, uh, my, okay, my best friend's girlfriend is her best, her best friend is my girlfriend. Oh, boy. So we like keeping it in the family.
4:11🔗
Caller
I'm wondering, should I tell my best friend? And I was kind of joking with them or whatever, and I was like, what if I do it? And he was like, I'll kill you.
4:27🔗
Caller
Or what on the phone right now? But she's she's so shy. She's not going to say anything.
4:45🔗
Hold on.
4:54🔗
Yeah.
4:54🔗
Adam
What is going on with those blacks? I met a black chick named Provolone last day, just earlier this week. Is she really named Lasagna?
6:06🔗
Caller
Because he's a liar. And with... I mean, it was just a whole bunch of stuff that happened.
6:14🔗
Probably like...
6:17🔗
Drew
And so, it was in response to you saying, Lucas, gee, she's free now. What if I sleep with her? He said, I'm going to kill you.
6:36🔗
Because I was like, okay, now what if this happened?
6:41🔗
Adam
Yeah. Let me just give you guys a little heads up. It's bad to float those sexual hypotheticals in front of your partner. It's like, let's say I was to get a BJ from your sister. Would that...
6:53🔗
Adam
That's a horrible angle. It pretty much just tips him off. Because you wouldn't bring it up otherwise. Okay, so you guys should be together.
7:00🔗
Drew
Yeah, you gotta break up with your girlfriend though, Lucas. You really do. But don't immediately become a couple. Because the ex-boyfriend will still try to kill Lucas.
7:35🔗
Adam
Listen, what about Harriet Tubman? Harriet. There's no black woman named Harriet. It wasn't lasagna, Tubman. Was it? Okay. I don't know. It just seems like you're setting yourself up for a life of ridicule when you name yourself lasagna. That's my main main main name. Now mayonnaise, that's a name.
7:58🔗
Okay.
8:00🔗
Yeah.
8:03🔗
Caller
First of all, I want to say you guys are great. I listen to your show all the time. I'll get right to the point. Well, actually, I didn't tell you the girl everything. With this, I guess it actually started like years ago because I caught my cousin.
8:38🔗
Caller
Years ago, when he was like six or seven, somewhere around there, he's 13 now. And now actually, he just turned 14 two weeks ago. And I caught him with one of his little friends, you know? And but that was, you know, years ago. And then just last weekend, this Saturday, I was over at my sister's house. And because I kind of...
9:09🔗
Caller
Okay. I kind of, you know, move. I kind of, during a week's time, I might stay with three or four different people because I'm not working right now and stuff, you know?
9:20🔗
Caller
Yeah. I was over at my sister's house. And the next morning, Saturday morning, I got up, and I was taking a shower in the upstairs bathroom. And I looked out the window, and because I was brushing my teeth, and I looked out the window, and I looked again, because what I seen was so shocking, I seen my nephew, which is 14 now. And I seen him with a dog pen. They got like a Lassie dog, you know?
9:57🔗
Caller
His name's like, I don't know, Tom or something. I don't know the dog's name, but it looks like a Lassie dog.
10:03🔗
Adam
Hey, John. Yeah. You know, we've trimmed the show down to two hours now. I don't know if anyone gave you a heads up on that.
10:12🔗
Adam
No, no. I'd like to. I'd like to, but no, I'm with you. I'm with you, John. So what did you see?
10:18🔗
Caller
And the dog pen, it's like made out of wood, so you can't see if you're standing on the ground, you know, like 20 yards away from me.
10:25🔗
Drew
By the way, those of you that are planning a bogus call, just take notes at the way John goes through endless detail about the experience of seeing something shocking.
10:32🔗
Adam
I don't think endless is a long enough word for the detail that John is putting forward.
10:36🔗
Caller
I see out the window, I see him with his pants down, around his knees, in the dog pen, and first he's pulling the dog's head up to his, you know, and then I kept watching because I was shocked by it, and eventually he starts sucking on the dog, you know.
11:04🔗
Caller
Well, you know, I guess it would be kind of funny if it wasn't, you know, if I wasn't in it.
11:21🔗
Caller
Yeah, and he, then he, after he did the dog, you know, he put the dog in his mouth, he got the dog down and was like laying on top of it, I guess, trying to do it. I don't know, but anyway, see, when I caught him years ago, I was the one who told my sister, his parents and stuff, right? So, now I don't know if I should...
11:51🔗
Drew
No, it's more than a talking to is gonna straighten out. This is pretty messed up stuff.
12:00🔗
Caller
But I don't see how the, you know, he turned out this way, cause my sister and her husband, you know, they're great and they're not alcoholics or, you know, all the stuff you talk about on your phone.
12:43🔗
Drew
Yeah. That's the beginning of the attention he needs to get. I mean, it's just not first diagnosis of many. OK.
12:51🔗
Drew
Yeah. Talk to the sister. Don't do not talk to the kid. Don't freak him out. I mean, why? Why? Why humiliate him?
13:04🔗
Jesus Christ.
13:06🔗
Adam
I understand the concept of the dog performing certain acts on you. I mean, that I understand as a fourteen-year-old. You know, any port in a storm. You know what I'm saying, Drew? But you're doing it to the dog. You've really crossed the line.
13:35🔗
Caller
Hi. I have a question. I work two jobs and I was wondering if stress causes you to lose your sexual drive.
13:56🔗
Caller
And my other question is, how can, I'm married, almost two years and we're now trying to have a family. How do I know when I'm most fertile so I won't have to, so I can be prepared to just do it and get pregnant?
14:23🔗
Drew
It's around day 18 and so it's within 24 hours of ovulation and there are kits that you can get in the pharmacy that will help you time.
14:50🔗
Drew
No, there are different kinds of kits out there. There are things, there's basal body temperature things, but there's also ways of measuring the hormones in your system.
15:12🔗
Interesting.
15:14🔗
Adam
So, will you test yourself every day or will you test it, let's say, you know, 14 days after your period?
15:30🔗
Drew
That's rough. You know what's happening. Her boyfriend's going there and rigging the kit.
15:40🔗
Caller
This is what's happening. I usually tell my husband, OK, just be ready when I get home. But he's all like, no, I'm going to strike down.
15:52🔗
Drew
That could be part of it too. You know, you sort of empty his chamber too much and the sperm count can drop a little bit.
15:57🔗
Really?
15:58🔗
Hmm.
16:15🔗
Yeah.
16:16🔗
Caller
I really need to have the two jobs. I just had to keep myself entertained because he works late. So.
16:43🔗
OK. Well, thanks a lot.
16:45🔗
Adam
We keep whizzing on that felt. She didn't sound like a world traveler to me. I mean, you wouldn't have guessed that Mary went to Egypt last year, would you?
16:55🔗
Drew
Well, some people go and it's so they visit the resorts and It's probably got relatives there.
17:01🔗
Yes.
17:16🔗
Caller
I've heard of people getting that in their palms who sweat excessively in their palms. Yeah.
17:22🔗
Drew
There are different things they can do for the palms. They sort of try to block out the nervous root in the armpit basically.
17:33🔗
Adam
Poison that in very small amounts is basically paralyzes the area and they use it for wrinkles. But I could see it working for sweating. I guess if you paralyze the area that's sweated, maybe it wouldn't produce moisture.
17:49🔗
Drew
It's not so much motor paralysis as it must somehow interfere with the nervous input to that area and that's what causes the sweating.
17:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, I don't mean that the movement causes sweat but I just mean it just screws up, it sort of deadens that area. Did it work Dave?
18:18🔗
Adam
I'm too lazy. I don't care. I sweat. But now I'm like a black minister. People expect it.
18:38🔗
Adam
No. My ass sweats. I mean, for all you ladies listening, who are masturbating right now. No. My armpits. I'm one of the few guys you'll ever see that will have bone dry armpits and sweat streaming down my face.
18:53🔗
Adam
But Dave, here's why I'm screwed. You work at El Pollo Loco and I got to do a goddamn TV show where I'm sweating all over the place.
19:06🔗
Drew
Hey, you're screwed. How about the people sitting next to you? Waiting for you to finish spritzing and wipe your brown, get the make up back in.
19:11🔗
Adam
What a pain in the ass. How dare you, sir? How dare you barge into my studio and attack my brow? I'm sorry, Dave.
19:33🔗
Adam
You know what Shifty is? Shifty is like Dicey with a plan. But Dave, here's the other back breaker about sweat on the brow. Most people by the time the sweat forms on the brow are in a full-fledged internal panic. Do you know what I'm saying? Which is here's the breakdown on sweat. You go on a job interview.
19:57🔗
Adam
You go on a job interview and everyone's going to have little patches under their armpits.
20:03🔗
Adam
Like if a guy sat across from you at the desk and you were interviewing him for a job and he got up, you notice when he's walking away, you saw his dress shirt, you saw a little patch under the arm, you wouldn't think anything of it.
20:15🔗
Adam
The guy's a little nervous. It's fine. But if it was dripping down his forehead, you'd say, this guy's basically a murderer.
20:25🔗
Adam
Right. Because you think by the time it gets to the point where it's coming from his forehead, this guy's in a full panic.
20:32🔗
Adam
But for some people, me and Dave, the cursed ones, this sweat will begin on the forehead just like is easily or even more easily than the guy would start under the pit.
20:43🔗
Adam
And people will not go, oh, he just sweats a lot from his forehead. They'll go, this guy's panicking.
20:54🔗
Adam
It's a great curse. I noticed my mother does that, by the way. I think it's a hereditary thing.
21:16🔗
Caller
I have a girlfriend that tells me that she's four and a half, five months pregnant. And she says she's still kicking and, you know, all the normal symptoms. But when I look at her, I don't see any physical, you know, evidence that she really is. And I kind of get a little suspicious that she's lying to me.
21:43🔗
Drew
It's hard to imagine that she's so pregnant that there is active movement in the uterus and you can't see it. But it is certainly possible to have very little, very obvious change at four months. It's possible, yeah.
22:04🔗
Drew
That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying is the strange part. It's not the four months part and you don't see it. It's the kicking part that I find bizarre.
22:15🔗
Drew
But I wonder if she's not really feeling kicking. She's just feeling some sort of contraction.
22:21🔗
Caller
Okay, I was just kind of suspicious of maybe she was just trying to get the attention and...
22:30🔗
Adam
You got a wonderful relationship on your hands there, Daniel. Don't you think eventually she's going to have to say something though? I think his phone cramped out. That's an interesting angle though. I think she's just trying to get attention. And then he's going to call back in eight months. It's like, she claims to have a three-month-old, but I think she's just saying it for attention. Sure, I hear crying and I see her breastfeeding. I don't know. I think it's just a ploy. Oh, that kid's going to be born into a wonderful environment, don't you think? 18, dad doesn't believe it. Says he wants money for college. I think he just wants attention. All right, we're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to... Can we speak to a chick for Christ's sake?
23:21🔗
Adam
Jessica? Hey, Lauren, let's get some gals on the line here. Much better. Speak to Jessica. Her husband ignores her. And she don't like that.
24:15🔗
Adam
Yep, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E 191. Sunday night, we're going to do a little symposium on ecstasy.
24:26🔗
Drew
Symposium. If you want someone to tune in, don't call the symposium. We're going to have a debate.
24:32🔗
Adam
We're going to have a little rap session on ecstasy. Then Andy Dick, David Alan Greer, and race car driver, Brian Hurda, who's going to be out here for the Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach.
24:50🔗
Drew
Don't you think it'd be worth it to you to get a publicist just for that? Just for a quarter or something?
24:54🔗
Adam
Hold on. I'm thinking whether I was invited to race in that race for the fourth year I've been begging to do it.
25:00🔗
Let me see. No, thank you.
25:06🔗
Adam
You know what I like? Well, yes, you need a publicist. Listen, Drew, don't get me going on these goddamn blood sucking publicists.
25:14🔗
Adam
If you want to know why certain people are in the cover of certain magazines or how come certain people are in celebrity this or celebrity that, they have people called publicists which are basically, they're sort of, I don't know, is Nazi a profession or is that just more of a way of life? Sort of a Nazi slash prostitute who goes out there and spreads their cheeks basically and takes it up the A for people.
25:50🔗
Adam
In their behalf and they're $1,500 a month basically to spread those cheeks. Maybe two grand.
25:57🔗
Adam
And they're all idiots. They really are. And they think they're celebrities and they go out and get people in races and things and if you're despicable enough to have one in your service then you get to do these things. So it does pay off a couple of times a year but overall when you just stand back and look at your life I think it doesn't. You know what I'm saying? Listen, you can steal cable from your neighbor, it's cheaper. But you got to look in the mirror when you wake up in the morning. That's what publicists do. All right, anyway. Here's the thing though, if they put me in their race, I got a radio show, I'd be talking about it every night. It makes good sense.
26:48🔗
Yeah.
26:51🔗
Caller
I've been married for a little bit over a year. We've been having a lot of problems. We broke up, we split up, and I went back to live with my mom and finally we're back together. But the thing is now that we hardly ever spend time together. I'm not working, but he works. I always tell him I feel like I'm in need for attention. I'm just scared that if he doesn't give it to me, I don't want to go anywhere else for it.
27:25🔗
Drew
This is the eternal, this is a classic struggle, male-female struggle, which is the woman is begging for just some focused attention, some communication, some connection, and the man doesn't hear it, doesn't really know what you're talking about even, Jessica, thinks everything is fine, and all of a sudden the girl is cheating.
27:54🔗
Caller
Like, I mean, right now, not really that much. The thing is that we had like a lot of problems and he lost feeling for me because, you know, we went through a lot of like crap before.
28:22🔗
Oh.
28:26🔗
Caller
No, somebody I didn't know. And he caught me and ever since then, our relationship has gone downhill.
28:34🔗
He recorded me.
28:47🔗
Drew
Did he, did he like put a tape recorder on the kitchen table when he came down for breakfast?
28:55🔗
Caller
He just, he, like since he works at Thurgood City, he gets like this stuff. And he, it's like a digital recorder, I guess. And he left, he left in the morning and I was telling my friend about it. And when he came back, he, he listened to it. And, and I didn't really know he was recording me until after, until he told me. And, and I still kind of denied it, you know, but you know, I guess I got caught. So I told him, yeah. And, but ever since then, you know, I mean, I really regret it. I know it was something really stupid.
30:07🔗
Caller
But another thing is that he says that since he was my first, you know, like, my first everything, he thinks, he says that all girls go through this, this spur of a moment that they feel like they have to look out, like, for some other type of attention.
30:24🔗
Drew
Well, you're looking for the attention because he's not gratifying your needs for intimacy. But this is why we don't like 19-year-olds to get married is because this is normal 19-year-old behavior is to want to wander and explore.
30:35🔗
Adam
Well, it's the TARD leading the TARDs, really, the 19-year-olds. I mean, you guys are spinning around like you're in a rock tumbler.
30:56🔗
I need to talk to it.
30:58🔗
Adam
Seriously, put the phone between your legs. Is it down there? No. Put the phone down there. I want to talk to it. Okay.
31:07🔗
Adam
Your hymen is? If you let a penis without a condom inside of you, I will fire your ass from Jessica.
31:15🔗
Adam
I will send you to either Mexico or Canada, depending on what kind of mood you're in. I will send you to either Mexico or Canada, depending on what kind of mood you're in. I will send you to either Mexico or Canada, I understand.
31:29🔗
Adam
I'll send you to either Mexico or Canada, depending on what kind of mood I'm in. If you get pregnant, I will kill you. Do you understand? I'll come in there with a shop vac and clean you out myself. Do not get pregnant. All right, now put Jessica back on. All right, Jessica.
31:51🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, I've gone to the doctors like so many times already, and they tell me I need hormones.
31:59🔗
Caller
I don't know. That's what they tell me. Because I guess my periods are very irregular.
32:06🔗
Adam
Don't worry about it. You tell your husband he wants to hang with this. He's got to start putting some effort in. Otherwise, hey, it's one of those things. You get married at 19, you made a mistake.
32:18🔗
Adam
Drew, how many adults do you speak to now in life? You're not going to back me up on this, but it's very common to talk to a 29, 30, 35-year-old adult. And they're like, oh yeah, I was married when I was 19. It lasted 18 months. And it didn't even happen to them. They don't even remember.
32:37🔗
Drew
Or how many adults do you talk to who are married to their girlfriend from when they were a teenager, even 20, early 20s?
32:50🔗
Adam
They're married for a little under two years. They never had any kids. And if they didn't have a kid, it was like it didn't happen. And you go, well, you ever talk to her or whatever? Oh, yeah, she's great. We just didn't know what we were doing. No big deal. It's like at 19, if you don't have a kid, you just cut your losses. Screw it. He's working at Circuit City. Where the hell?
33:15🔗
Adam
Listen, most security guards are felons, not the good ones that work here at Loveline. Diane?
33:30🔗
Caller
I'm pretty sure that I'm an nymphomaniac, and I wanted to know what exactly an nymphomaniac is.
33:42🔗
Caller
As far back as I can remember, I've been masturbating several times a day, even back when I was like five and four years old, and I've just always masturbated like four or five times a day. Even when I have a boyfriend that I'm sleeping with, I still...
34:06🔗
Drew
This is more in the order of what's called sexual compulsivity. Unless this is starting to have consequences and get worse with time. That is to say sexual addiction is in the setting of someone with a family history of alcoholism where these kinds of compulsivity is getting more and more sort of risk taking and start costing money and sacrificing your health, and that keeps going in spite of those consequences. That's addiction. What you seem to be describing is sexual compulsivity which usually is the result of sexual abuse in childhood.
34:35🔗
Caller
No, there is never anything like that. I did find out from my gynecologist when I went that my cervix is unusually close to the front. Whenever I hear that people can't come during sex, it's just a total shock to me because I've always come usually under a minute, two minutes to under a minute.
34:56🔗
Adam
With intercourse? Yeah. I'd like to have a crack at you. It's a little bit of a confidence builder for me.
35:10🔗
Drew
See, this is the thing, when women can come in a minute, they're coming 30 times over 30 minutes.
35:15🔗
Caller
Oh yeah, because my boyfriend, he doesn't last that long. He last maybe like four minutes and he's like all upset about it. I'm like, look, I don't care.
35:24🔗
Adam
By the way, I'm picturing this guy driving down I-19 in a pickup truck with three of his buddies stuffed in a cab. She's talking about the multi-orgasm and coming over and over again and he's high-fiving. Then she gets a part where my boyfriend doesn't last very long.
35:42🔗
Caller
That's the thing is I really don't care because four or five minutes, I come like four times.
36:03🔗
Drew
Okay. There was not a lot of sexual activity or sexualization or chaos in your family growing up?
36:10🔗
Caller
No. The only really sexual thing that I ever really knew was just me. I don't even remember how it started, but I would have a journal when I was real little. For some reason, I thought that you had to be 18 to have sex and I used to just write in my journal. I can't wait till I turn 18 so I can have sex.
36:37🔗
Caller
It would have been earlier, but I was actually a very ugly duckling in the early part of my life. So nobody ever really liked me or anything like that.
37:02🔗
Drew
Well, here's why it's potentially a normal just her high degree of sexual orientation without sexual compulsivity. She's not creating chaos in her relationships around.
37:16🔗
Adam
It's a cross between a zit and a carbuncle and an ingrown hair. It's right at the hairline. I don't know if it's a mosquito bite. I can't see the goddamn thing.
38:18🔗
Caller
Hello, this is Ron Jeremy. Now, when I'm not hiding the bacon in some hot and sweaty porno set, I'm listening to Love Lines with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.
38:42🔗
Drew
But given what he does, he's like a disarmingly nice guy. You know what I mean? You wouldn't think that all those years in that business, he would be such a nice guy.
38:51🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, he's a big, fat, hairy guy who's getting a steady flow of new tail in every year. He's like the dean of some school that gets to nail the freshman class every year for the last 25 years. How bad a deal is that going to be? Drew inspected the back of my neck and says it's a... What is it, Drew?
39:32🔗
Drew
I can see you've been working on this one. The surface is completely irritated. I scratch it.
39:35🔗
Adam
Well, I can't stand it. I got a lump on the back of my... It's not a lump. It's the size of a good mosquito bite, but it's driving me nuts. I've got to tell you, it's Thursday night. Thursday is potpourri night here on Loveline. That means I can talk about stuff. I'm 36 years old. I woke up the other day and had a huge zit on my back. I'm talking about whitehead, just big snow camp. It really looked like...
39:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, Drew's in his 50s. He gets zits. I had a zit on my back that looked like Mount Fuji. It was big and it was white, snow camped on the top. I don't get too many whiteheads. I just get a little lump, but I don't get that satisfaction. I had it right on my back, right on my shoulder blade. I stood in that bathroom mirror, I turned my head around, I cocked my other arm. Eventually, I'm really convinced I'm going to need, I'm going to break a rib one day or something, trying to squeeze a zit on my back, it's going to be humiliating. I turn around, I squeeze this thing, I heard it go. You know when you get that zit where you hear it go? It sounds like a cannon in the distance, and the thing just shot right by my nose and smacked the mirror, and I hadn't felt better in years. It was like the most gratifying thing I had done in years. You know, like I hosted the Billboard Awards, and this was much more gratifying. This felt better than anything I had done in the last three years. It really did. That thing made that little, that little, it's kind of a crisp sound, a little pop, you know, and a zit went flying, a head went sailing by my nose, and stuck to the mirror. I high-fived myself. Wonderful.
41:18🔗
Hello?
41:20🔗
Caller
Yeah, like, say I would wake up in the morning, and like, I'd masturbate and have an erection, and it could be like 10 o'clock at night after, and I still can't have another erection, and like, I can't have any more than one in one day.
41:46🔗
Drew
I'm not quite clear either. Yeah, why doesn't he have more erections? Is that the question?
41:50🔗
Caller
Because like, all right, say, not really an erection, but like, no semen or anything comes, you know, no cum comes out.
42:02🔗
Caller
No, it's on my fan. So, like, you know, just like wake up in the morning and then I'd masturbate and...
42:13🔗
Caller
Yeah. And then like, it could be a couple hours, like the day is passing by and then I can't have another one, like nothing comes out.
42:22🔗
Adam
Where are you calling from? The Dominican Republic? What's going on with the fan over there?
42:33🔗
Adam
All right. I mean, we're in California. It doesn't seem too warm tonight, but all right.
42:46🔗
Adam
You're saying you can only masturbate once a day. And when you try to do it later on in the day, nothing comes out.
43:03🔗
Adam
You'll get multi-orgasmic, multi-self-orgasmic later on in life. You haven't honed your technique yet.
43:14🔗
Drew
It's gonna... And this may just be your rhythm. That may just be you. That's fine. That's fine. Relax. No, but... It's all good.
43:21🔗
Adam
You know what I was thinking of? I mean, this is how life is. Drew, remember the first time... Remember when you took your driving test at 16?
43:32🔗
Adam
Then you put the seat belt on, check the mirror, use the hand signals. Then you had the emergency brake on. You start pulling out. Now what do you do when you get in your car?
43:43🔗
Adam
Yeah. I mean, when you pull into your house and get out of your car, the car's still rolling.
43:47🔗
Adam
You go out the sunroof, car hits a tire. You have an old tugboat tire out front there. Sure. You got it down. You don't even think about it now, right? Same with everything. Same with masturbation. He's 13. I wasn't even masturbating at 13. He's ahead of the curve. Don't panic yet. Emily, you're 27?
44:12🔗
Caller
Okay, I've got a little girl that's almost a year old and I'm still breast feeding her. And recently I've started masturbating more than usual. When I get to the point of orgasm, my milk lets down. And when I actually have the orgasm, it runs all over the place.
44:30🔗
And it's hard to believe that.
45:02🔗
Adam
You're talking to a doctor. You have to say what's wrong with him. He can have you arrested.
45:23🔗
A little bit of both.
45:29🔗
Caller
He doesn't want to go to a doctor to actually get any kind of treatment for what may be wrong because he doesn't want to end up being told he can't work.
45:40🔗
Adam
He's got a little, he has a little problem with his penis, maybe? He has a little rectal difficulty?
45:50🔗
Drew
He's not interested and he's blaming it on work? How long has he been, but he ain't blaming it on work?
45:55🔗
Uh, a couple months.
46:32🔗
Well, I didn't call to talk about him, though.
46:42🔗
No.
46:48🔗
Adam
But you know what, Emily, really, all kidding aside, this guy, this guy has to straighten up because he's got a young girl now. Do you hear what these girls are going through, calling this show whose daddy isn't around for them? You know what happens to them? They're doing porn by the time they're 12. You gotta get, she must have a present father. Okay? So unfortunately, that's part of your job too. You're gonna have to really get him back into this thing.
47:18🔗
Caller
Well, see, we work opposite hours, so he takes part of the child care as well. When he gets home from work, that's when I leave.
47:37🔗
You know what I'm saying out there?
48:20🔗
Adam
Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, the money-grubbing Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOV-1. Doing a little chat on X to see Sunday night. Drew, you tried the X before?
48:42🔗
Drew
You know what I mean? If I was 19, I'm sure it would have been very alluring, very difficult not to.
48:48🔗
Drew
But do you know what I mean? 19 year olds don't have great judgment about this kind of thing.
48:56🔗
Adam
Okay. Yeah, me neither. Just checking. All right, and then Andy Dick on Monday, David Alan Greer on Tuesday.
49:03🔗
Jesus Christ in heaven!
49:15🔗
Adam
Yeah. Good guy. And he'll be racing in the Toyota Grand Prix. You know, I'm so old school, I can barely stop saying Toyota Times Grand Prix of Long Beach, which they dropped about 15 years ago, I think the LA Times. But I used to go to it way back when. Angela?
49:36🔗
Hello?
49:38🔗
Caller
Yes, I am. I've been with my boyfriend for four years. And I live with him. And one year into our relationship, I started abusing him. I physically abused him. I would hit him with a fist. I would slap him.
50:09🔗
Drew
You know, it's against the law. I mean, there are domestic violence laws in California that are very stringent.
50:24🔗
Adam
Yeah. Hey, Angela, you think that goddamn police department is your personal police department?
50:39🔗
Adam
Listen, when I'm in charge, the third time they come to any residence in less than 18 months, they put a bullet in everyone's head.
50:47🔗
Adam
I wish they would. They don't got time for that nonsense, you screwball. Jesus Christ. Who beat you?
51:00🔗
Adam
Your dad, somebody who beat on you growing up? I'm going to take a leak. You get the answer to this one, all right?
51:14🔗
Caller
My mom, okay. My mom was an alcoholic when I was growing up, and I lived with my aunt and uncle, and they were, they were like, you can't really say they were physically abusive.
51:40🔗
Adam
I'd like to, I'd like to put them in jail too. Yeah. You need to get some counseling, right?
51:46🔗
Caller
Let's see. Um, I, I have two kids. Since last year, since last year, when I was pregnant with my second child, he has recently started hitting me. He's hit me. Um, he's knocked me on the floor. And then, um, a second time he has, um, given me a black eye and I didn't do nothing to him.
52:18🔗
Adam
Hey, Angela. All right, I got, I got some very key, key things for you. First, you cannot get pregnant again. Do you hear me?
52:28🔗
Adam
You cannot have any more kids. Do you understand that? Do you have any form of birth control that you're using?
52:42🔗
Adam
Okay. Okay. You stay on those and you be very regular with those because you cannot afford to get pregnant. We as a country cannot afford for you to get pregnant again. Number two, are you abusing any substances? Any liquor, pills, or weed, or anything like that?
53:05🔗
Adam
Okay. Here's the deal, Angela. Here, I'm just going to put it in a nutshell. You have to clean up your situation and your act so that you don't raise your kids how you were raised. Do you want to repeat that ugly cycle?
53:37🔗
Adam
Or marginally worse? Is that what you want? No. Then you got to do something about it. You can't, if this guy's abusive, you got to get away from him.
53:47🔗
Adam
You can't fight in front of these kids. You can't have the cops showing up. You can't get pregnant again. You have to create a stable environment.
53:58🔗
Adam
I understand you are hurt, and I understand there's a lot of pain in your heart and all that horrible stuff, but it's too late now. You have kids. You have to step up.
54:08🔗
Drew
There's medication that can help with the impulse control, with the pain of the depression, the anger you're feeling, and there's treatment out there. You can meet with the groups available to help you deal with anger management, domestic violence victims groups. There's all kinds of stuff out there, but you have to take advantage of it. Parenting classes, all stuff you need.
54:26🔗
Adam
Go to the local church, start getting involved with it. Use any resources you can. You have to create a stable environment for these kids. You understand?
54:39🔗
Adam
That's it. That's your number one job in life. Sorry, you know, you had the kind of life you had, but I swear to Christ, if you repeat it for your kids, you're no better than your aunt, uncle, and your parents were. Okay?
55:11🔗
It wasn't the mic. It was a connection.
55:40🔗
Caller
I need your help, Drew. I'm lusting after young women, and I don't want to turn out to be one of those creeps that ends up having all these girls call your show.
56:01🔗
Adam
I understand. Well, you're lucky you labeled me a genius at the onset, because I won't be nearly as hard on you now.
56:24🔗
Caller
No, but occasionally you'll get these young girls flirt with you, and it's like, every time, it's like, close call. I don't want to cross that line. And, you know, it's a huge repercussion.
56:37🔗
Adam
I understand. But what are you, a crossing guard? Or were you running into a fourteen- and fifteen-year-old? You know, people talk about that. Where do you see a god damn fourteen-year-old girl anymore? Where are you going?
56:53🔗
Caller
I do remodeling on people's houses. I'm a single father. Without bragging, I got a lot of chicks digging on me.
57:08🔗
It's a chick magnet.
57:10🔗
Caller
Yeah, and everybody pats me on the head like I did something. I feel sorry for all the single moms out there.
57:31🔗
Caller
I live in an apartment complex. They're in the pool every summer. You know, I take my kid to the... And you know, I don't want 10 years from now to be looking at my daughter's friends and them all hating Mr., you know.
57:45🔗
Drew
Listen, just because you have feelings doesn't mean you have to indulge in them or have to act on them.
57:59🔗
Adam
It's it's all part of being evolved. It really is. It's what it's what makes you a human being. You get to want to do things. You get to have impulses and then you get to sort of rise above them, transcend those. You can do it, everybody. You can want a second helping of dessert and not have it. You can want to knock a guy over and take his cell phone from him and not do it. You can want a beer and realize that you have to drive a school bus and not have that beer. It's all think about all the great people. Most of the great people, not all of them, but most of the people who you remember throughout history, these are all people that wanted to do something but yet did something else that was more important. They put their own feelings aside for a moment, didn't act on impulse.
58:53🔗
Drew
Listen, if he developed a relationship with somebody even close to his own age, he wouldn't be so ridiculously preoccupied. He's got nothing else going on as part of the deal.
59:15🔗
Yeah.
59:18🔗
Adam
Well, I'm just going to tag him when I'm in charge. I'm going to ask our last caller, the young female, will be sterilized when they show up to the house for the third domestic dispute call in as many months and guys like Philip will be tagged. They can follow their migration down to Florida every spring.
59:40🔗
Erica? Hi.
59:44🔗
Caller
I'm just wondering, because I've been in a relationship nine years with my boyfriend and we have two kids. Lately, he just doesn't want to be with me. We don't kiss. I mean, he just comes home and watches TV.
1:00:01🔗
Caller
I don't know what's wrong with him. He's like my best friend, but it's more like best friend. You know what I mean?
1:00:19🔗
Caller
So I don't know what to do. I mean, I've tried, you know, Teddy's and even trying to entice them.
1:00:27🔗
Adam
You know, basically all that stuff, guys like that stuff because it's on a Victoria's Secret model and our whole plan would be-
1:00:36🔗
Adam
You know, it's funny. Guys love lingerie so much. That's why it's like, uh-huh. Now, I can take it off.
1:00:59🔗
Adam
Okay. Let me do some math here for just one hot second here. You've been with this guy for nine years?
1:01:27🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. I'm no mathematician, but at a certain point, don't their ages cross and then the child gets older than the parent?
1:01:39🔗
Adam
Right now, you're 22 and your kid is 7, right? But I'm saying, when you're 30, the kid will be 21. And when you're 45, the kid will be 47.
1:02:01🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, I mean, we had a real good relationship before. We would, like, do everything and...
1:02:09🔗
Caller
Yeah. You know, they're taking care of good, and he's a good dad. He takes care of them, but he's just, like, he comes home and...
1:02:31🔗
Drew
Well, if something's wrong, either he's got something stressing him out or he's checked out of the relationship for some reason, and if he's not willing to talk to you about it, it's time to get a professional to help you get him to the place where he can talk about it.
1:02:46🔗
Adam
I see. Yeah. You listen. You sound like a good person. You sound like you're a good mom. It sounds like you're trying. This guy needs a little kickstart. You gotta just tell him, hey, listen, we're raising kids here. I need you involved. I bet he's depressed. Yeah, it could be. I mean, this has taken on a little bit of a theme tonight. Let's get the guy involved.
1:03:20🔗
Drew
There you go. There you go. That screws with your sex drive big time. And it makes you depressed.
1:03:26🔗
Adam
And he thinks, you know, the kids are too young or they, you know, these idiots who say, oh, no, no, no, I never smoke in front of the kid. Yeah, you don't smoke in front of kid. You go into your room, you talk out, then you come back and you bake the whole day in front of the kids.
1:03:41🔗
Drew
And a loaded parent is an abandoning parent. It's a very traumatic circumstance for a child to be in, to have a loaded parent.
1:03:51🔗
Drew
You're abandoning. And that's traumatizing the kids. He's getting depressed. He's leaving you. He needs to have his marijuana addiction treated, Erica, that's it. One of the ways you can motivate him to get into treatment is to go to Al-Anon yourself, get a sponsor, work the program. And oftentimes people grow, the codependent, they grow so much in that process that it freaks out the addict and they start becoming willing to do something about this.
1:04:21🔗
Adam
And a windbreaker. All right. Good call with the weed by the way. He's token out every day. Okay. Here's the thing. I was having this thought because we're getting a lot of this. A lot of these screwballs, you know, hooking up with a chick at 11 or 12 years old and staying with them. And at 22, they're checking out. Well, of course, you've been with someone for 10 years and you're barely 20.
1:04:44🔗
Drew
Yeah, you'd be trapped. And one of the ways of dealing with feeling trapped is like just withdrawing.
1:04:54🔗
Adam
Let me make this observation slash comment. I haven't thought about it too much, but for women, there's a different chemistry, a different biology at work, and you women, for you, the relationship and your children, that's your life. I mean at 22. That's it. You're man and not all of you, and some of you want to work, and some of you praise Jehovah and have your own other crap going on. But biologically, men and women are different, and a good family, a couple of children, a good husband making a home, that can be plenty for a woman. A 22 year old guy, he still thinks he's going to be an astronaut. I mean yeah, he may love his wife, he may love his kids, but that ain't satisfaction. That's a satisfaction. That's not overall satisfaction for most 22 year old guys.
1:05:47🔗
Drew
He also doesn't know who the hell he is. All that fantasy and stuff is trying to figure out who he is in the world.
1:05:52🔗
Adam
Right, so now you create a life outside of your wife and your kids. Meanwhile, your wife and your kids, you're their life, they're having their life, and you've stepped outside of it. You remember that feeling?
1:06:05🔗
Adam
I remember feeling being in a relationship at 25 and just sort of going, what the hell is going on? What am I doing? I got to get out of here. I don't know what's going on. I think I'm going to go to Europe. I don't know where I want to be. I still thought I was going to be a pirate at 25. I was looking for vessels to board, you know?
1:06:39🔗
Adam
How dare you? A guy craps in a popcorn can for six months. He gets labeled. Charlie? Yeah. You're 21. What's up?
1:06:47🔗
Caller
Well, my girlfriend seems to think I'm an alcoholic. And I don't know. I'm starting to get a little concerned, actually, because she's brought up some pretty good points. A little concerned.
1:07:05🔗
Adam
Any of those things where it's like, they give you 20 boxes, and they're like, have you ever done anything you've regretted because of alcohol? You ever blacked out because of alcohol? You ever vomited because of alcohol?
1:07:18🔗
Adam
You find a drink loosens you up in social situations. Yes. You feel more confident. Yeah. I checked 19 out of the 20, and they go, if he said yes to more than two of these, you have a serious problem. It's like, oh, come on.
1:07:32🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, my dad's a psychologist. I live at home. He's pretty on the ball. I think he'd probably pick up on it.
1:07:44🔗
Drew
That and he may find his car keys. He may be an alcoholic. Many people go into mental health because of their own issues. He may be an alcoholic and it's very difficult to see reality in family members. It is extremely difficult to be objective.
1:07:56🔗
Adam
It's a good angle though, Charlie. It's like, yeah, it's like, well, I'm living with a cop, so I can't be a criminal.
1:08:17🔗
Drew
All right. Alcoholism is a biological disorder with a genetic basis. We need to see some evidence of family history. It is marked by progressive use despite consequences, meaning adverse impact on your relationships, your work, your health, your financial situation or legal problems, and then denial. And that's it. You don't have to use every day. You don't have to even drink heavily. That's addiction, period.
1:08:45🔗
Adam
No, no, no. Wait a minute, Drew. But in the real world, if you are coming home five nights a week, not having a drink and going to bed, you don't have a real world problem. Now, if you get blitzed out of your brains on Saturday and beat the crap out of your girlfriend, then okay.
1:09:03🔗
Drew
Yeah, majorly a problem. But if you are disturbing a relationship, you're having trouble functioning at school, here's what you can tell.
1:09:11🔗
Drew
Here's what I can say with categorical certainty. That's just the beginning. Things will mount.
1:09:31🔗
Caller
The fact that I sometimes often ditch her just to go out to the bar and hang out with my friends from, I don't know, maybe 7 o'clock at night till last call.
1:09:42🔗
Drew
Well, you may have an alcoholic biology and she may be, have alcoholic parents or have a history of being with alcoholics, so she's very sensitive to it and sees it coming on, but unless you're motivated to do something about it, you're not going to do anything about it, so.
1:09:56🔗
Caller
Well, see, that's the thing too, because I mean, I know, I honestly don't think I have a problem.
1:10:02🔗
Adam
All right, well, then it's done. I'm not here to talk you into having a problem, if you honestly think you don't have a problem and you know you're not drinking five out of the seven nights and maybe you don't or maybe it's going to take her leaving or maybe you've got to get in a car accident or something, whatever it is. Listen, I know every one of my friends had a problem with booze and none of them was going to even consider quitting at 21.
1:10:29🔗
Drew
Right. They have to be thrown in jail for heroin before they actually thought about it.
1:10:36🔗
Adam
Please lump them in with the heroin addicts. The point is, I don't know what the average age is. My friends started drinking pretty early in life and like I said, at 21, they were just hitting their stride. They hadn't even begun to think about slowing down. Maybe later 20s, early 30s. So if you don't clean yourself out in a car crash or do time for a vehicular manslaughter or put a curtain rod through your best friend or girlfriend or something, then you consider yourself lucky, right?
1:11:09🔗
Adam
Enjoy. Loveline. Well, Adam, that'd be Drew over there. Well, let's get back to the phones here, Drew.
1:11:57🔗
Drew
Remember Erika, that was the domestic violence girl with the two kids, and boyfriend just called in. This is the girl that made you throw your mic. That one.
1:12:57🔗
Adam
I didn't know what I was talking about. I'm sorry. I'm going to give you a written apology. All right, well, she said you smoke weed every day.
1:13:09🔗
Drew
Okay, that's plenty. That's plenty, Anthony. That'll give you all kinds of weird depressions and problems with your libido, your sexual drive.
1:13:23🔗
Drew
Yeah, and after about 10 years, you'll start to get some severe biological effects from it, and that's what's starting to happen.
1:13:31🔗
Drew
That you know of. That's right, because it's a very slow, insidious onset, but your girlfriend is putting you on notice that she's noticing a change.
1:13:42🔗
Adam
It's nothing. Listen, I got to talk to Anthony, man to man, not wuss to man like you. Oh, man, wuss to man. Okay, listen. Listen, brother. I don't mind the weed. You know I'm cool, right? Yeah. Smoke a little herb every now and again myself. But here's the deal. You're doing it too much. There's nothing wrong with getting high, but every day isn't Get High Day. It's got to be a special occasion.
1:14:10🔗
Drew
People don't go from this to cutting back. They don't do it. It's like getting B-Royal to cut back or Bobo. You think Bobo is going to cut back on pot?
1:14:26🔗
Adam
Well, they're stoned when you see them. They can't understand cutting back. I want to know, Anthony, if you can not smoke weed during the week.
1:14:35🔗
I quit before and I could do it again.
1:14:57🔗
Drew
They can do it for a while and then it escalates back up again and they have to be absent for about six months completely for any of these biological problems to go away.
1:15:12🔗
Adam
You know what though, you're so vehement about everything and you mean half of it. That's why I never know whether to believe you.
1:15:19🔗
Drew
This one is, what you're, I have to stop you because what you're suggesting is actually dangerous.
1:15:28🔗
Drew
I'm deadly serious about this. You are, you are suggesting something that is dangerous.
1:15:34🔗
Drew
Because most, all marijuana addicts believe they want, that their problem is they need to cut back. They will cut back for periods of time. None of the biological problems will reverse. They will revert back to their regular use.
1:15:49🔗
Drew
That this problem is going to progress and we are advocating something that allows it to progress.
1:15:55🔗
Adam
He can't smoke, first off, me saying not to smoke during the week is not advocating something that allows it to progress.
1:16:06🔗
Drew
That's not, the problem is if he just stays where he is, the point is you're suggesting something that is not helpful and potentially dangerous because you're dealing with somebody with a disorder.
1:16:18🔗
Adam
Not necessarily. I know guys who smoke weed a lot and they do cut back on it. For periods of time.
1:16:42🔗
Drew
Give that six months and see if you don't feel different. Be careful because there's a lot of depression. In the first few months, you cut it off.
1:16:51🔗
Drew
That's good. That's good. But realize that you keep going back. And the problem with addiction is you always go back. And when you go back, it progresses. And if you really care about your kid and you want your relationship to survive, you've got to really ultimately do something about this. And it's not going to stay stopped unless you do.
1:17:15🔗
Adam
It's funny. He called to straighten us out on what his girlfriend said. His girlfriend was like, Yeah, he's... Your girlfriend never brought it up.
1:17:26🔗
Adam
We went away and you said, Wait, go back and ask her if this guy smokes weed. You go back to her. He goes, Does your boyfriend smoke weed? And she's like, Yeah. And you go, How often? And she goes, Every day. And he calls up and she's like, She's totally wrong. I smoke weed four times a week. And when a guy, by the way, is telling you he smokes weed four times a week.
1:17:52🔗
Adam
Yeah. I mean, put it this way. She said every day and technically, every three weeks he missed a day. You know what I mean? He smoked like 19 or 20 out of a three week period.
1:18:05🔗
Drew
The reason I got to Adam about the other thing is to allow them to maintain that delusional notion.
1:18:13🔗
Drew
It's a real problem in our culture right now. People believe that marijuana is not addictive, therefore I can start and stop as I please, and it allows really serious consequences to continue to mount.
1:18:25🔗
Drew
They think you could be sacrificing those kids' parents by letting him believe that he could.
1:18:30🔗
Adam
I didn't think the guy was ready to quit at 20. That's all. I have my doubts about that.
1:18:43🔗
Caller
Hi, Dr. Drew. I screwed up really bad. I had sex. My girlfriend and I have been friends for like two years now, and she's married. And she said that her and her husband wanted to get together with another girl.
1:19:46🔗
Caller
We... My fiancée had sex with me, and she and I kissed, and he went down on her, and I...
1:20:01🔗
Caller
No, no, no. That's next. That's what happened next. That's why I feel bad. That's why I called in.
1:20:05🔗
Drew
Wait, wait. So first you brought her, the married woman, in with you and your boyfriend?
1:20:09🔗
Drew
And then she brought you, the married couple, and you, the engaged woman, in with them.
1:20:25🔗
Adam
It turned over one liquor story, might as well turn over a hundred, who cares? So, he went down on her, huh? Right in front of you.
1:21:33🔗
Caller
He wanted to get with two girls and she always wanted to get with a girl. So I figured I'd kind of just.
1:21:42🔗
Adam
That is so good. No, wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm not nearly done with this. You guys all got together. You had a few drinks, right?
1:22:14🔗
Adam
Baby, you are like 15 shades of white trash. Do you hear me? Oh my God. You're drinking Baileys and butterscotch schnapps?
1:23:06🔗
Adam
A little bit. But you're a little P.O.ed because you're not going down on you enough, right? First piece of business for her. And then what? How does he orgasm?
1:24:06🔗
Adam
All right. We're going to take a little break. I know we're going on for a while now, but I'm not done with Sandy. I've got to find out what this guy gets himself into a threesome and ends up dry humping the box spring and a waste in his wine all over the side of the bed.
1:24:28🔗
All right.
1:25:14🔗
Caller
Hi, this is Jeremy McGrath, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.
1:25:21🔗
Adam
There you go. Let's get back to Sandy. Sandy's situation is, she's engaged, and she hooked up with her friend who was married and the husband, and she also hooked up with her fiance and that friend.
1:25:39🔗
Drew
We haven't heard that part of the story yet. That's the bad part. That's the part she regrets. She didn't actually say she regretted the first chapter.
1:25:52🔗
Adam
Well, that's what she didn't like, but that's a great, that's a part must be great about being a woman. But he went down on her. He doesn't go down on Sandy enough, and he had an orgasm while he's down there too, which doesn't work well in his defense.
1:26:08🔗
Adam
That's right. Sure was. And then how long after this, Sandy, did you hook up with the husband and the same girl?
1:27:22🔗
Adam
They're great parents. They're wonderful, wonderful people. No, they're idiots. Come on, Sandy. Now, are you going to tell your fiancé about this? Does he know?
1:27:42🔗
Caller
I felt like I owed it to her and her husband because she was with me and my fiancé. I really felt like... And two wrongs don't make a right and I'm just suffering with this now.
1:28:33🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. That's junior. Okay, listen, Sandy, don't get married. Slow down. Don't tell your fiancee.
1:28:51🔗
Adam
And you need to talk to this couple and you need to tell them they cannot say anything in front of this guy.
1:29:06🔗
Adam
She don't. You show me 22 year old girls engage and go, do you want to get married and have a good long five count beat and then go, well, I'm in caught. Engage. She don't want to get married and she's working her way out of it right now.
1:29:31🔗
Caller
I kind of thrusted. I have a horizontal barbell piercing in the head of my penis and it got stuck.
1:30:22🔗
Drew
Right through the middle? More towards the tip. The amplings I've seen have all been sort of at the frenulum kind of where the test is.
1:30:37🔗
Adam
I see. What happens when you get an erection and lose your erection? Does it just sort of shrink around it and rise around it?
1:31:07🔗
Adam
You really gotta have some problems. You really do, don't you? I mean, you know, you be honest with us.
1:31:30🔗
Caller
It got caught and, you know, when it came out, it kind of ripped her up and it hurt me too, also, but what sort of damage could that do to her?
1:32:00🔗
Drew
Well, I'm sure you should see a doctor to see if she perhaps need to be on some antibiotics.
1:32:03🔗
Adam
Yeah, listen, tell the doctor she got shot in the BB gun when she was yawning. Her screwball boyfriend tried to kill her with his penis. Hey, Alan?
1:32:19🔗
Adam
And listen, what do you do? Did your parents beat on you as a kid? No. Something happened to you? You're listening to too much heavy metal? What happened? He's bisexual. What do you do for a living now?
1:32:46🔗
Adam
I'm going to get my penis done. That's no bet. I mean, I bet it was a bet, but you got to be nuts to take that bet.
1:32:57🔗
Adam
I'm understanding you putting a spear through the side of the head of your penis and going straight through till you go through the urethra and then come out the other side. By the way, is this stuff possible? I mean, doesn't that just bleed profusely until you die? We're now at the point where we're putting stuff across the urethra and then you take a leak and it comes out like wiper spray. That's not a bet. I mean, it's a bet, but you got to want to do it.
1:33:28🔗
Drew
And how do you have sex with that sitting out there? Why doesn't it tear the vagina up every time you have sex?
1:33:35🔗
Adam
Let's put it this way. There's not enough. You could take one million attorneys and they could all yell at me simultaneously that Alan was sane and I would not, I would still not believe it. One million attorneys with a million bullhorns could all yell that he was sane simultaneously and I would not go for it because that is an insane act. Okay, we'll be back. You and I are going to start our own colony in French Guiana, and we need blonde women. No questions asked. We're just going to start a super colony of semi-sane masturbators. We'll be taking applications on Sunday. I want to thank Ann for doing a great job all week, and I want to thank Sarah for doing a great job.
1:35:09🔗
Adam
Anderson is back and he's in full effect. He did a great job picking the mic up I threw on the ground earlier. Nobody could do that better than Anderson. And of course I want to thank Lauren for doing a great job. Yeah, on the phone. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Hi, I'm Adam Corolla. You know, I kid a lot on the radio and on television, but cornholings, no laughing matter.
1:35:35🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.