Sunday, March 11, 2001

0:56🔗 Thank you, BZ Seattle. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline.

1:13🔗 Voiceover Coast to coast.

1:14🔗 Adam Yeah, hey, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Drew, you're so lucky Ann was sitting in there. I had to fart for the last five minutes.

1:32🔗 Drew So you're going to let us have it now?

1:34🔗 Adam Well, you know how it is.

1:36🔗 Drew Not a science.

1:37🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, I don't know where it went. Let's see if I can whip it up. I think I may have swallowed it.

1:42🔗 Drew But if you had to save it up for me, you waited until we walked in the room and closed the door. Just Ann would follow me in.

1:46🔗 Adam We walked in and closed the door, but Ann, producer Ann, sat in here, and I didn't want to tell, you know, I just figured she'd be heading out, but she didn't leave until the show actually began. We'll see what I can do, all right? All right, and no promises.

2:01🔗 Drew Good times.

2:02🔗 Adam Steve?

2:03🔗 Yeah.

2:04🔗 Adam You're 16.

2:05🔗 Caller Yeah, Adam, I would be honored if I could sing he has it all with you.

2:09🔗 Adam Oh, boy. Really?

2:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

2:12🔗 Adam Too early in the show.

2:13🔗 Drew What's up, Steve?

2:15🔗 My girlfriend's got like a foot fetish, and I've got athlete's foot. No, no, I'm sorry.

2:24🔗 Drew Nice try.

2:25🔗 Adam Kind of a good angle. Girls don't have foot fetishes. No, they don't. Never talk to one. We ever talk to a girl had a foot fetish?

2:35🔗 Drew No.

2:37🔗 Adam Now, what is the number one female fetish? It's bondage. It's it's tying up. Yeah, it's that kind of stuff.

2:44🔗 Drew It's also making themselves the whole body fetishized.

2:48🔗 Adam You see, women who have fetishes have men do stuff to them. Men who have fetishes do stuff to women. So women don't have fetishes about guys' stuff. It involves guys doing things to them.

3:04🔗 Drew Generally, I think that's true.

3:05🔗 Adam There you go. More than generally. Trevor, you're 16. What's up?

3:12🔗 Caller The other day, or today, this girl called me that I messed around with like a month ago. And she says she was pregnant. And I already have a girlfriend that's pregnant. And there's like no way I can get like a morning after pill.

3:27🔗 Drew Well, not if she's pregnant.

3:29🔗 Caller What?

3:30🔗 Drew Morning after pill is to prevent pregnancy. Once somebody's pregnant, that's it. It's pregnant.

3:35🔗 Caller Oh, there's nothing else to do that?

3:38🔗 Drew We could have an abortion.

3:40🔗 Caller She said she wouldn't do that.

3:42🔗 Adam How old is she?

3:43🔗 Caller She's 16.

3:44🔗 Adam How old's your girlfriend?

3:46🔗 Caller 16 also.

3:48🔗 Adam Are you serious you have your current girlfriend pregnant and some chick you screwed around with a month ago both pregnant at 16 from you?

3:56🔗 Caller She said she's pregnant.

3:58🔗 Adam And how far along is your girlfriend?

4:00🔗 Caller Three months.

4:01🔗 Adam And what's she gonna do?

4:03🔗 Caller Keep it.

4:05🔗 Adam And what are you gonna do?

4:07🔗 Caller I have no idea.

4:10🔗 Drew And have you talked to your parents about it?

4:12🔗 Caller No.

4:12🔗 Drew How come?

4:19🔗 Adam I don't know if I believe Trevor either.

4:20🔗 Drew No, I don't either.

4:22🔗 Adam Sorry, Trevor. Don't believe, well, start off with two bogus dickheads.

4:29🔗 Drew Hey, one more bogus call, no more men. That's it, all women only tonight, because women are not jack-offs.

4:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

4:36🔗 Drew That's it. So guys, seriously.

4:39🔗 Adam You need a sack in order to be a jack-off.

4:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

4:43🔗 Adam I mean, put it this way.

4:45🔗 Drew The term sort of implies male, doesn't it?

4:47🔗 Adam Put it this way. What percentage of men at some point in their youth, probably between the age of maybe 12 and 19, sat home, phoned a liquor store, asked them if they had Mr. Pibb in a bottle, or Dr. Scholls had a pizza delivered to their neighbor's house and watched through the window. I mean, what percentage of males at some point in their adolescence did some form of chicanery?

5:16🔗 100%.

5:18🔗 Adam It's got to be 100%, although I don't believe the gays did this. So whatever percentage is gay, you have to eliminate that. They don't have that kind of sense of humor. They have a chick mentality. But every straight guy in America has done this. Now what percentage of adolescent women have done this? 9% and 5 out of that 9% were put up to it by guys.

5:42🔗 Drew I'd say 89% of that 5% or 7%. The vast majority, the vast majority of the women were put up by guys.

5:50🔗 Adam Yes.

5:51🔗 Drew We'll actually accept that though. That's a novelty. Yes. But the guys, one more guy screwed up, that's it. No more guys.

5:58🔗 Adam Lacey?

5:58🔗 Hello?

5:59🔗 Adam You're 15?

6:00🔗 Caller Yep.

6:00🔗 Adam What's up?

6:03🔗 Caller Hi.

6:03🔗 Caller I greatly appreciate you guys taking my call.

6:06🔗 Drew So much more pleasant women are. You see that?

6:08🔗 Caller They're just better.

6:10🔗 Caller Um, I had a fight with my boyfriend tonight and we were fighting about just stupid petty little stuff, you know, and he was yelling at me very forcefully and I did not appreciate that. And I don't know what's wrong with them. We've been together for almost two years now.

6:31🔗 Drew You had a boyfriend since you were 13?

6:33🔗 Caller Yep.

6:34🔗 Drew How old is he? He was 15.

6:40🔗 Caller And, um...

6:41🔗 Adam How long are you guys having sex?

6:43🔗 Caller Yes.

6:45🔗 Drew How long has...

6:46🔗 Adam What do you expect?

6:47🔗 Drew How long has that been going on for?

6:49🔗 Caller Like nine months maybe.

6:51🔗 Adam I see. So he started yelling at you, but good.

6:54🔗 Drew Was he drunk or doing drugs or anything?

6:56🔗 Caller No, he doesn't do drugs. He doesn't do anything of the sort because my mother is in recovery, thank goodness. And I wouldn't appreciate that.

7:04🔗 Adam See, the children of mothers who are in recovery, she's 15, she sounds like she's 28.

7:10🔗 Caller Right.

7:12🔗 Drew She's been parentalized. She's been taking care of the mom all these years.

7:14🔗 Adam Right. She doesn't sound like a kid.

7:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

7:16🔗 Adam Sounds like a nurse.

7:17🔗 Caller He's been in recovery for almost a year now.

7:19🔗 Drew But the point is prior to that, you were the parent in the house.

7:22🔗 Caller Yeah, basically.

7:23🔗 Drew Yeah, we can hear that in your voice.

7:26🔗 Caller And I have no idea why he flew off the handle. I know he's been having some hard things with his grandparents. He was raised by his grandparents. He basically didn't know his mother or his father.

7:37🔗 Caller Oh boy.

7:40🔗 Adam And OK, so he freaked you out.

7:43🔗 Right.

7:44🔗 Caller Very, very much.

7:45🔗 Drew Did he threaten to hurt you?

7:47🔗 Adam No, he just raised his voice.

7:49🔗 Yes.

7:50🔗 Drew Has anybody ever physically abused you in the past?

7:52🔗 Yes.

7:53🔗 Drew So this is sort of reminiscent of that.

7:55🔗 Excuse me.

7:56🔗 Adam It reminded you of something.

7:58🔗 Drew So the question is, is this guy the abusive a hole that she would see? You know what I'm saying? That she would be likely to go after?

8:06🔗 Adam Yes.

8:07🔗 Drew Or is this the nice guy who has reminded her of the abuse and she's now going to use that as a reason to sabotage?

8:15🔗 Adam I don't know. Either way, what do you think of relationships that go on from 13 to 15? Should they go on till 19? Do you know what I'm saying?

8:23🔗 Drew Yeah. Good point.

8:24🔗 Adam I mean, don't you think?

8:26🔗 Caller I think it plans to be that long together, but you know, I'm only 15 and he's only 17.

8:31🔗 I don't know what's going to happen.

8:33🔗 Drew Well, good that you're looking at it that way, that it's healthy not to have relationships go on forever at that age. You know what I'm saying? It's healthy.

8:40🔗 Adam Two years is forever when you're that age.

8:41🔗 Drew That's right, but not to think in terms of marriage, that's sort of unrealistic.

8:45🔗 Adam All right.

8:45🔗 Drew And to maybe wonder if this relationship is right at its core.

8:48🔗 Caller That is my dream.

8:49🔗 No, I'm just joking.

8:50🔗 Adam Why don't you just tell him you didn't appreciate it when he did that and see what he says?

8:55🔗 Caller I did.

8:55🔗 Drew And?

8:57🔗 Caller And he basically told me it was all my fault.

9:00🔗 Drew And what was the reason?

9:02🔗 Caller That I always yell at him and I always make him feel bad and blah blah blah blah blah.

9:06🔗 Drew Do you yell at him?

9:08🔗 Caller No.

9:09🔗 All right. Well, what?

9:10🔗 Caller Stupid things I might say that wasn't exactly your smartest choice in the world.

9:15🔗 Drew You'd say just like that?

9:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

9:18🔗 Drew I doubt it.

9:19🔗 Caller No, I'm serious. Only once have I yelled at him.

9:21🔗 Adam Lazy?

9:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

9:23🔗 Drew All right.

9:23🔗 Adam Well, you told him. So if he does it again, then drop him.

9:27🔗 Okay.

9:28🔗 Adam You can forgive this one.

9:29🔗 Caller He's a good guy.

9:30🔗 Drew Have you got Al-Anon?

9:32🔗 Caller Um, I'm not going recently because of the simple fact my mom has a lot of medical problems with her right now because of her abuse and her disease.

9:43🔗 So she can't drive the car because of her medications.

9:47🔗 Caller So I haven't been finding rides there or rides back.

9:51🔗 Drew Okay. What medication is she taking?

9:54🔗 She is, I'm going to have to go through the thing that she's going through.

9:57🔗 Caller She has hepatitis C, cirrhosis for the liver. She has, what's that thing when your blood is really super thin and when you cut yourself, you-

10:07🔗 Drew Well, that's what the hepatitis C does for you.

10:09🔗 Yeah.

10:10🔗 Drew And the cirrhosis. So.

10:12🔗 Adam Okay.

10:13🔗 Drew Here's my concern is that is she so out of it, she's so weakened from the interferon that she can't drive or is she on pain meds or benzodiazepines or something like that?

10:21🔗 Caller She isn't on her interferon yet. She goes into the Just realize.

10:27🔗 Doctor at the 16th to get there.

10:29🔗 Drew If she's on sedating medication, she is not in recovery. So just keep an eye on that.

10:32🔗 Adam No, listen, if she was, she'd drive anyway.

10:35🔗 Drew If she was in recovery?

10:36🔗 Adam No, if she's.

10:38🔗 Drew Oh, if she were loaded.

10:39🔗 Adam If she's loaded, you drive.

10:40🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

10:41🔗 Adam You don't make smart and prudent decisions when you're loaded. You go f it. I can drive. Man tries to catch me. I'll run him.

10:49🔗 Drew What does your medicine show on a printer from driving?

10:52🔗 Adam She's just feeding her a bunch of crap because she don't want to do it.

10:57🔗 Caller She's a bad mom.

10:59🔗 Adam Listen, if I were Lacey, I would hire a drifter to kill my mom. I really would. She says she's all but gone anyway, and she's been nothing but trouble.

11:07🔗 Caller You know what I mean?

11:09🔗 Adam Start fresh. Dan, you're 24?

11:14🔗 Caller Yes.

11:14🔗 Adam What's up?

11:16🔗 Caller How's it going? Well, I talked to my girlfriend on the phone today, and she says her stepdad made some passes at her.

11:25🔗 Adam She started the word talked with the F. Oh, no.

11:29🔗 Talked.

11:31🔗 Adam That's weird. Anderson, did you get that? He's like, I with my girlfriend. I didn't say it.

11:37🔗 Caller No, no, no.

11:38🔗 Adam You're going to let it go. Go ahead.

11:42🔗 Caller Okay. So, her stepdad drove her home from Swartz tonight and made some passes at her, tried to hold her hand all the way home. And when he did get home, he told her to go upstairs and put her club clothes on that she wore the night before because she looked so pretty in them. And she's a little scared, but she knows her mom won't believe her and doesn't know who to go to.

12:07🔗 Adam You're 24. How old is she?

12:09🔗 Caller A little younger, 18.

12:11🔗 Drew She's been sexually abused in the past?

12:13🔗 Caller No, not at all. She says not at all. He's never done nothing.

12:15🔗 Drew No, not him. Someone else.

12:17🔗 Caller No, she says not.

12:20🔗 Adam 17 or 18?

12:22🔗 Caller Not since 18. I'm going on 19 soon, I imagine.

12:26🔗 Adam I see. So you're saying she'll be getting to 19 before she gets to 20?

12:29🔗 Caller Right.

12:30🔗 Adam Write that down, Drew. But she did go from 16 to 18, which is curious. Hey, Dan, I don't know. You really want to, you really went in on this one?

12:44🔗 Caller Do I?

12:44🔗 Adam I mean, you're living away from home, right?

12:47🔗 Caller Right, right. Just moved out a month ago.

12:50🔗 Adam What do you do for a living?

12:51🔗 Caller I'm a machinist.

12:52🔗 Adam So you work around a lot of metal.

12:55🔗 Caller A lot of metal.

12:55🔗 Oh boy.

12:56🔗 Adam Yeah. So that's always a bad sign.

12:58🔗 No, it's not.

12:59🔗 Adam She's 18, she's living at home. You're 24, you're out on your own. Six years ain't a lot, but that's a big six right there.

13:09🔗 Drew Six years, yeah, absolutely. But again, if she needs to never be alone with him, she needs to report it if she feels she needs to. It doesn't sound like, I'm just suspicious she misinterpreted what he was doing.

13:23🔗 Adam Well, go put your club clothes on.

13:26🔗 Caller No, yeah, yeah.

13:27🔗 Caller Send her upstairs to put her clothes on.

13:29🔗 Caller And then when she come down and she was trying to see her stomach and she found, she told no. And then I don't know.

13:35🔗 Drew Was he loaded?

13:36🔗 Caller No, not.

13:37🔗 Drew Sounds like that, doesn't it?

13:38🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, did she go upstairs and put the club clothes on?

13:42🔗 Caller Yeah, she would.

13:43🔗 Drew See why?

13:44🔗 Caller He's kind of a beast toward her, like mentally.

13:47🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. Why did she go upstairs and put the clothes on she had from the night before?

13:54🔗 Caller The mom was not around and she was scared what would happen if she didn't?

13:57🔗 Drew No, there's something missing about this whole story. Either she's been abused severely in the past.

14:01🔗 Adam Okay.

14:01🔗 Drew Because she's just too good of a victim or this is a misinterpretation or maybe it's very complicated. And I'm not getting a clear picture.

14:10🔗 Adam I am. I'm going with the victim.

14:12🔗 Drew She's a victim for sure. But maybe, maybe is she being a good victim tonight or is she misinterpreting something because of previous victimization?

14:19🔗 Adam No, she here's the story. Her biological dad was some kind of piece of work. Probably pull the number on her. Maybe some abuse.

14:28🔗 Drew Sure.

14:28🔗 Adam He got thrown out. Now, mom goes out and picks another abusive guy and he begins the abuse cycle. Yeah. Here's what she needs to do. She needs to move out of the house. Listen, all you who are 18, get out of there, especially 18 with a pain in the ass stepdad. Freaky guy wants to see you go and put the tube top and the culottes. What do they wear? These they wear culottes. Go put the gauchos and the tube top on that you wore the night before and come down and shake your ass. No way. Move out of that house, I tell you. Len?

15:09🔗 Caller Len, yeah.

15:10🔗 Adam Len? L-E-N?

15:13🔗 Caller Yeah, well, L-Y-N-N.

15:14🔗 Caller Oh, Len? Yeah.

15:16🔗 Adam Oh, okay. What's up?

15:20🔗 Caller Well, I kind of have, well, kind of a weird question. About a year ago, I was receiving oral sex from this girl, and her tooth cut me on the head of my penis, but not like a deep cut, kind of like a growth of skin. And it's been, you know, about a year now, and there's like a place still there.

15:44🔗 Drew A place?

15:45🔗 Yeah, it's like a blackish color.

15:48🔗 Drew Well, your skin will hyperpigment or depigment in response to irritation and wounds, so it's not unexpected.

15:56🔗 Caller Okay, so it's not like some weird disease?

15:59🔗 Drew I don't think so.

16:00🔗 Adam Yeah, you got a little scar tissue, that's all.

16:02🔗 Caller Okay, because I was hoping, you know, I don't want it to rot off or anything.

16:07🔗 Adam No, I don't believe him.

16:08🔗 Caller You don't believe me?

16:09🔗 Drew No, I believe him.

16:10🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

16:11🔗 Drew Just relax, don't worry about it.

16:13🔗 Okay?

16:14🔗 Adam Yeah.

16:15🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm kind of nervous about it. Alright, thanks, guys.

16:18🔗 Adam Alright there, buddy.

16:19🔗 Caller Alright, bye.

16:19🔗 Adam Take care. See, I'm suspicious of all guys now. I know, yeah. And the dumber the guy, the more it sounds like a bogus call. Huh? Do you know what I'm saying?

16:30🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

16:31🔗 Adam Because they have difficulty with what would be considered the obvious.

16:34🔗 Drew Right.

16:35🔗 Adam And they make statements like, I didn't want it to rot off. And you think, wow.

16:40🔗 Drew Why do you say that?

16:41🔗 Adam Yeah, you think that's something I would say if I was screwing around with somebody. But then you realize, no, I think he was actually scared of that. Let's speak to Kelly, who's 26.

16:59🔗 Drew Well, that's it, that's number three.

17:00🔗 Adam You think Kelly, Kelly could have been a girl. No. No way. No girl does that monkey sound?

17:07🔗 Drew No.

17:08🔗 Adam No.

17:08🔗 Caller All right.

17:09🔗 Drew That's it, Lauren.

17:10🔗 Adam It's an all-

17:11🔗 Drew All women, women only.

17:13🔗 Adam We've now entered-

17:15🔗 Caller Really?

17:15🔗 Drew She was a girl?

17:16🔗 Adam No.

17:18🔗 Drew It was a girl put up to it by a guy.

17:20🔗 Adam No, listen, Lauren is just saying that cause she don't want to deal with just screening the chicks out tonight.

17:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:27🔗 Drew What? We can't hear what Anne's saying.

17:29🔗 Adam I can hear what she's saying. Well, I think. Yeah, I know. Well, hey, Drew, what if I do bad radio for a change? See how that feels? When you start talking in the air and making noises and references to things that the audience can't hear.

17:40🔗 Drew It's nice. Very nice.

17:41🔗 Adam Yeah. Lauren swears on her life that Kelly who made the chimp noise was a girl.

17:49🔗 Drew Okay. Put up to it by a guy.

17:55🔗 Adam Girls don't make that chimp noise.

17:57🔗 Drew Yeah, but she was a front person.

17:59🔗 Adam Yeah, I see.

18:00🔗 Drew Who looks up to that? That's right.

18:03🔗 Adam You sure you don't want to go to the all-powder puff show?

18:05🔗 Drew Not yet. I'm almost there.

18:07🔗 Caller All right.

18:09🔗 Adam Jean?

18:10🔗 Hi.

18:11🔗 Adam Hey, you're 17. What's up?

18:12🔗 Caller Oh my gosh. I can't believe I got through. Okay, I just had a quick question. Whenever I meet a guy or get a boyfriend or something, I always like to have like complete control over him.

18:26🔗 Drew What does that mean? What do you mean control?

18:29🔗 Caller Like, like I go do this and I want him to do it for me. And I want, I just like him, you know, like kind of like-

18:37🔗 Drew A slave.

18:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:39🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute. What do you, I want complete control over the guy. So Drew says, what does that mean? And you say, like I say, do this and he does it. That's not really, be specific, a great example.

18:53🔗 Caller Like basically, whenever I meet a guy and he becomes my boyfriend, he becomes obsessive and he does anything I want.

19:01🔗 Drew And that's what you want?

19:02🔗 Caller That's what I want.

19:04🔗 Adam So like sexually?

19:07🔗 Caller No, no, no, not at all. Just, I just want him to, like for instance, my ex-boyfriend Vinnie, he, like, like, anyway, basically he's notorious at our school for doing exactly what I say.

19:24🔗 Drew Okay.

19:26🔗 Caller And I don't know.

19:27🔗 Adam There's an example.

19:30🔗 Caller Well, I don't know, I don't know this.

19:32🔗 Adam All right, I understand. But, but Gene, you guys, are you, are you having sex?

19:37🔗 Caller No.

19:38🔗 Adam All right, so you're not, it's not like some dominatrix kind of thing.

19:41🔗 Caller No, but...

19:42🔗 Adam It's like, go to the refrigerator and get me a tab. And he goes and does it.

19:49🔗 Caller Yeah. Or one time, um, and I get jealous really easily.

19:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

19:56🔗 Caller And he was like, oh, I'm going to get a ride home from this one girl. I was like, okay, fine, go ahead. You know, kind of like in an angry way. And then he ended up walking home. Like, it was really far.

20:10🔗 I see.

20:10🔗 Drew Well, Gina, I don't know what to say here. What's your relationship like with your parents?

20:16🔗 Caller It's been kind of rough.

20:17🔗 Why?

20:18🔗 Caller Just like typical Asian parents, Asian parents.

20:21🔗 Drew Super controlling.

20:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:23🔗 Adam Oh, let me tell you something about the Asians. When they snap, it ain't a toothpick. It's a redwood. They snap big. You know, that's why they got to stay in line. But when they go south, man. Yeah.

20:38🔗 Drew Yeah. They go crazy. Gina's a redwood.

20:40🔗 Adam Yeah. She snapped in a big way.

20:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:45🔗 Adam Yeah. Your parents were controlling and sort of making you sort of subservient to them.

20:52🔗 Caller Definitely.

20:53🔗 Drew Do you have an eating disorder?

20:55🔗 Caller No, not really. Well, like a couple of years back, I just, I was really concerned with my weight, but not to the point where I threw up or had anorexia or anything.

21:03🔗 Drew Okay.

21:04🔗 Adam All right. And you're, how are your grades at school?

21:08🔗 Caller They're good. They're okay.

21:09🔗 Adam You're going off to college?

21:11🔗 Caller Yeah. Probably UC San Diego or UC Irvine.

21:14🔗 Caller Mm-hmm.

21:16🔗 Adam And are you in a relationship now?

21:20🔗 Caller No. Oh, yeah. Kind of.

21:23🔗 Adam Okay. Well, do you think you can stop doing this? I mean, you're aware of it, right?

21:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

21:30🔗 Adam Can you kind of be aware of yourself in the relationship?

21:33🔗 Caller I can't help it because if I don't have control, then I'm not happy.

21:36🔗 Drew Why?

21:37🔗 Caller Because I just feel like I don't have control and that I'm like...

21:41🔗 Drew Got that. She's not happy when she doesn't have control because she feels like she doesn't have control.

21:45🔗 Adam Why?

21:45🔗 Drew Because she feels like she doesn't have control.

21:49🔗 Caller Because I just feel kind of like, oh... Control.

21:51🔗 Adam Like you don't have control, right?

21:53🔗 Caller The guy has way too much power and I'm being like disrespected in a way.

21:57🔗 Caller All right, all right.

21:59🔗 Drew These are not real relationships.

22:00🔗 Adam You got a serious chimp on your shoulder and any guy would go for this. I don't trust. Hey, Jean, you're not relationship material at this stage of life. You're a mess. Yeah. All right. So why don't you not be in one for a little while and get your ass together? Get a little counseling, maybe a little therapy. You know, just focus on school and other activities. Go off to college together and then get a relationship.

22:24🔗 Caller Yeah, I don't. It's not like I really care about guys.

22:27🔗 Adam That's the point.

22:28🔗 Drew These aren't real. You should want to care about someone, though.

22:31🔗 Adam Well, maybe you're lesbian. That really piss your parents off. You know, that's the way to get them.

22:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

22:38🔗 Adam Go lesbian.

22:38🔗 Caller That'll freak them out.

22:40🔗 Adam I mean, don't you want to get back at them?

22:44🔗 Caller Actually, it's getting better. It's just when they get pissed, they really get pissed.

22:48🔗 Adam Well, I'm saying, you want to see them pissed, you tell them you're lesbian.

22:51🔗 Drew You know, don't act out all your anger at your parents and other people and pretty lot of men. And you're hurting yourself, you're hurting other people. Just find a real relationship and slow down.

23:00🔗 Adam Now listen, don't even find one.

23:02🔗 Drew But it doesn't have to be a boyfriend, just somebody to relate to, somebody to spend time with.

23:06🔗 Adam Yeah, but she'll convert. She doesn't know how to do that. She'll convert that guy.

23:09🔗 Drew Let's figure that out.

23:10🔗 Adam Here's the deal, everybody. If you're a mess, leave us alone. And the same goes for the men, you know what I mean? It's too bad people don't think that way. And I know the worse shape they are and the more trouble they are, the more they need to hook up with somebody, which is the scary catch 22 of life. But hey, if your head's spinning around like a dreidel and you're abusing people and it's happening over and it's sort of stop me before I abuse again and all that kind of stuff, why don't you just take a year off?

23:40🔗 Caller Just jack off.

23:42🔗 Drew They can't study something. They're stuck with their own pain and shame and stuff. That's why they're perpetrating this stuff on other people.

23:47🔗 Caller I did that.

23:49🔗 Adam I still do.

23:50🔗 Drew Yeah, but yours was forced exile.

23:51🔗 Adam Thank you. All right, we will take ourselves a break. We're going to come back. We'll talk to John. His girlfriend has warts and she won't tell him what it is after this.

24:05🔗 Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready.

24:36🔗 Adam Yeah, just let a big old fart go in Drew's direction. Come on, quit hamming it up.

24:42🔗 Drew Adam, please.

24:44🔗 Adam Please. You're a doctor. You're a doctor. You put your thumb in people's rectums.

24:49🔗 That's right.

24:49🔗 Adam But don't even need it.

24:52🔗 Drew Nothing compares to what you just said.

24:53🔗 That was good.

24:55🔗 Adam All right. Well, stop flapping that door and grow up, would you?

24:58🔗 Drew Hey, we're all adults here. Cut that crap out. Go to the bathroom before you do that next time.

25:02🔗 Adam If I do, I'm going in here, John.

25:05🔗 Yes.

25:05🔗 Adam You're 23. What's up? Yeah.

25:07🔗 Caller My question, I guess, would be more for Dr. Drew.

25:09🔗 My girlfriend this year alone has had two different surgeries.

25:13🔗 Caller I think it's on our uterus for irregular cells.

25:16🔗 Drew It's on our cervix.

25:18🔗 Caller For our cervix.

25:18🔗 Yeah.

25:19🔗 Caller And the doctor keeps telling us HPV. But yet they say, we're not sure this is our only known cause for this.

25:27🔗 Drew Right.

25:27🔗 Caller Like, is that true?

25:29🔗 Drew Yeah. It's typically the cause for it.

25:32🔗 Caller Really?

25:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

25:33🔗 Caller And now how would you know if it's HPV?

25:35🔗 Drew They usually have ways of looking at the pap smears to determine that. And if it's there, it's there.

25:41🔗 Adam How long have you been with her, John?

25:42🔗 Caller A little over two years.

25:44🔗 Adam So does that, do you have warts?

25:46🔗 Caller Well, that's my question. I mean, there's no, there's no warts anywhere on either one of our bodies.

25:51🔗 Drew Well, you should assume that you've got it. That would be, that would be a good, safe assumption.

25:56🔗 Adam How does he get- Yeah, I'm sorry. Go ahead, John.

25:59🔗 Caller I was gonna say, can I get tested for this?

26:01🔗 Drew There really isn't any good test for it. There's the acetic acid preparation I did to Adam.

26:06🔗 Adam Yeah, why don't you do that?

26:07🔗 Drew And that could show these pre-wart growths on the penis. But it, you know, if your girlfriend has it, the assumption needs to be that you have it too.

26:16🔗 Caller Right.

26:17🔗 Drew So that's it. She has it.

26:18🔗 Caller Right. So there's really nothing to do about it?

26:20🔗 Drew No, not for Matt. It's not a big deal for Matt.

26:23🔗 Okay. Does it disappear or is it not?

26:25🔗 Drew Well, a certain percentage of them do. But the ones that predispose to cervical cancer, which I think we should assume she's got since these abnormal growths are developing, that's one that tends to be sort of persistent.

26:39🔗 Adam Does it get to the cervix via the penis?

26:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

26:44🔗 Adam And by physically making contact with it?

26:46🔗 Drew No, no, no, no.

26:47🔗 Yeah. Yeah.

26:48🔗 Adam I don't think I hit any cervixes.

26:50🔗 No.

26:51🔗 Adam Cervixi.

26:53🔗 Drew Cervi.

26:53🔗 Adam Cervi.

26:56🔗 Caller All right.

26:57🔗 Adam But she'll be all right.

26:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:59🔗 Drew She'll get it properly taken care of. He's worried about himself. You understand?

27:02🔗 Caller Right.

27:02🔗 Adam Sure. Matt?

27:04🔗 Yeah.

27:04🔗 Adam You're 17.

27:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:05🔗 Drew Just going to wear a condom.

27:07🔗 Caller I just want to say first, you guys are pretty cool.

27:09🔗 Adam Thanks.

27:09🔗 Caller I listen to you guys like every night for the past three years. You're awesome. Thank you. I wish I didn't really have to call in for problems, but I do. What happened is today, I was with my girlfriend, and we don't have sex or anything. We don't believe in it, but she had a skirt on, and she was sitting on my lap, and we were making out and stuff, and she kind of, she like touched my penis, like, well not like reached into my pants, but she like was rubbing on it, and I ejaculated, and it got, some of it got on like her underwear, like, and I'm wondering if there's a chance.

27:44🔗 Drew Through your pants?

27:46🔗 Caller Yeah, like, you know, like, I'm not going to say do you know how, but.

27:49🔗 Drew Through your pants?

27:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:53🔗 Caller Like, you know, like my pants, they went through like my boxers, and my pants were wet on the outside, because they were just khakis, and a little of it got on their underwear. Like just like, Wow.

28:03🔗 Caller It just folks through.

28:04🔗 Adam And that was just from a little rubbing, huh?

28:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:08🔗 Adam Yeah, good times.

28:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:11🔗 Adam Wow.

28:11🔗 Caller But I was just freaked out. Yeah.

28:14🔗 Adam Listen, I wouldn't believe in sex either, if I could just get off and not have to take my pants off. Why bother with sex?

28:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:22🔗 Drew But it's really unlikely that would cause a pregnancy.

28:25🔗 Caller I mean, doesn't it die when it's outside like that?

28:28🔗 Drew No.

28:29🔗 Adam No, as long as it's wet, it's alive.

28:30🔗 Drew Yeah, it needs to dry out, but how much sperm actually gets through the pant?

28:34🔗 Caller Right, that's what I was just saying.

28:36🔗 Adam That's a good question. I mean, the fluid that carries the sperm.

28:40🔗 Drew Is not the sperm.

28:41🔗 Caller And the thing is that it wasn't really far, like it was like above where her pubic hair started. It was like right where her pubic hair started, like on her underwear.

28:49🔗 Drew Oh, forget it, man.

28:50🔗 Caller Forget it, Ace.

28:52🔗 Adam Hold on, what kind of position are you guys in?

28:54🔗 Caller She's just straddling me.

28:56🔗 Adam I know, but if she's straddling you.

28:59🔗 Caller She had a skirt on.

29:01🔗 Adam I'm hip. But how does it get above where her at the top of her pubic area?

29:08🔗 Caller I don't know. Whatever.

29:11🔗 Caller All right.

29:12🔗 Adam You know what I love about our listeners? Our callers are so dumb. They start down a path like it went up and then you go, yeah, but wait a minute. How did it? Oh, yeah, because she was on. And then you go, yeah, but if she was on and then they go, I don't know. It's like, yeah, you're right. Forget it. I was real adamant about it 10 seconds ago, but no, I mean, if you're, you're our rattling somebody and their crotch and something comes through their crotch, isn't that right in your sort of vaginal wheelhouse? That's not at the top. You'd have to lie down on the person and sort of flex your back, wouldn't you? Yeah.

29:49🔗 Caller All right.

29:50🔗 Adam I love about that. They don't believe in sex. So everything is like one of those technicality are rated showtime movies. You know, it's like we don't actually get it on, but you sit on me and like pull the skirt up. Everything is like that scene. Please tell me you saw Raging Bull. Please tell me you saw the movie.

30:14🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

30:19🔗 Adam You have not seen Raging Bull.

30:21🔗 Drew Not in its entirety.

30:22🔗 Adam All right. See, you're totally worthless to me. Told because every good goddamn reference I have involves something that was outside of the studio. And it's useless because you've not seen it. You're not who's Sewell Howser, what's Doug Henning, who's Raging Bull. I never saw any of it. The Shining. No, nothing, nothing. You're useless to me. You don't exist.

30:45🔗 Drew Doug Henning.

30:46🔗 Adam Don't don't even bring up Doug Henning in front of me.

30:48🔗 Drew Went to the Magic Castle last night. Why? My wife's brother is really into that place.

30:55🔗 Adam That's a bad sign. That's flawed, right?

31:00🔗 Drew But listen, they have a dress code.

31:03🔗 Adam Oh yeah, I know.

31:04🔗 Drew I didn't wear a tie.

31:05🔗 Adam I know.

31:05🔗 Drew The guy we were with didn't have a shirt, a collar, or a coat, or a tie.

31:09🔗 Adam My buddy the Wheeze had to pull a pair of slacks over his jeans.

31:13🔗 Drew Oh yes. They pull out some clothing and they're like, here, put it on.

31:16🔗 Adam You know what's funny about the dress code is you could be wearing a $80 pair of jeans and a nice shirt. And they're like, you end up looking like a hobo by the time they've pulled their baggy slacks over you. It's like, technically you must be wearing a tie. Even if it's a clip on orange tie and it's eight inches wide and you must wear slacks. Even if we pull the slacks over your jeans and then tie it up with a piece of rope, you have to wear this.

31:45🔗 Drew Yes.

31:46🔗 Adam At what point though does it become sort of counterproductive?

31:50🔗 Drew Do you know where you actually look worse than you do walking in? I'm going to talk about your house for 44 years.

31:56🔗 Caller You made me do this.

31:57🔗 Drew And that's what I'm going to do. Well, let's not go to that place.

32:00🔗 Adam It's your fault for going there. Jess, you're 19. What's up?

32:05🔗 Caller Um, okay.

32:07🔗 Caller It seems like every time I sleep with a guy or date a guy and it ends, I end up resenting him.

32:13🔗 Drew Well, are these guys you're actually having relationships with?

32:17🔗 Caller Well, two of them, I had two pretty serious relationships. Both of them lasted about a year. And I ended up just despising the guys after it ends. And before and after those two relationships, I had like a series of hookups, where the next day I would just like hate the guy.

32:40🔗 Drew Hating him for participating with you in this act, huh?

32:44🔗 Caller I guess.

32:45🔗 Caller I just like despise him and I don't even want to see him.

32:48🔗 Drew Where do you think that comes from?

32:50🔗 Caller Huh?

32:50🔗 Drew Where do you think that comes from?

32:51🔗 Caller I really don't know.

32:53🔗 Adam We're never going to answer for that question, Drew. Do you think maybe you're mad at yourself?

33:00🔗 I could be, I guess.

33:01🔗 Caller I mean...

33:03🔗 Drew What have guys done to you in your life that have made you loathe them, hate them?

33:07🔗 Caller One of the relationships I was in was pretty abusive.

33:10🔗 Drew And it's physically abusive?

33:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:13🔗 Drew And how old were you when that came about?

33:15🔗 Caller I was 16.

33:17🔗 Drew Okay. And how about your relationship with your dad?

33:20🔗 Caller It's great.

33:20🔗 Caller He's great. And your mom?

33:24🔗 Caller She's great too.

33:25🔗 Caller I mean, we're like best friends, so...

33:27🔗 Adam It's always bad. You know, what's healthy is the way Drew and I are with our parents, which is we barely tolerate them. Thanksgiving, that's plenty, right, Drew? Thanks. Jess? Yeah? You have a great relationship with both your parents. You get hooked up with these one abusive guy, and then the other guys you just loathe after you've been with them. You got energy. We're just trying to wonder where it came from. Anything ever happen to you?

33:56🔗 Caller No, not, I mean...

33:58🔗 Drew With men?

34:00🔗 Caller Huh?

34:01🔗 Drew With men when you were growing up?

34:03🔗 Caller No, not when I was like little or anything.

34:05🔗 Adam Are you a religious person?

34:08🔗 No.

34:08🔗 Adam You have an older brother?

34:09🔗 Yes.

34:10🔗 Adam Did he do anything bad to you?

34:12🔗 Caller No.

34:13🔗 Adam He's a good guy? You like him?

34:15🔗 Caller Yeah, he didn't even live with us for very long, so...

34:18🔗 Drew How come?

34:19🔗 Caller He was older. He's 12 years older than me, so...

34:22🔗 Adam So you were just... He left when he was 18 or something?

34:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:26🔗 Adam Alright, so you like your older brother?

34:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:28🔗 Adam You like your dad? No, no, no, no abuse, no alcoholism?

34:35🔗 Caller No.

34:35🔗 Drew Why was there this big break in there being kids, the 12 years?

34:39🔗 Caller Well, he's actually my half-brother.

34:41🔗 Drew Nope.

34:41🔗 Caller My dad's 10 years older than my mom.

34:43🔗 Adam Right. Now we're getting somewhere. Well, now wait a minute. Who's your step-parent?

34:51🔗 Caller I don't have a step-parent, but he is my half-brother. He's my dad's son, but not my mom.

34:56🔗 Adam Okay. What's your dad do for a living?

34:59🔗 Caller He's a geologist.

35:00🔗 Caller Aha!

35:02🔗 Adam All right. No booze in, good parents.

35:04🔗 Drew My question is why, if you know these things.

35:06🔗 Adam Why are you such a mess?

35:07🔗 Drew Yeah, why do you do this? If you know how you're going to react, you know it's not a good thing for you, it's not a rewarding thing for you.

35:13🔗 Caller Like, I don't hate the guy while I'm doing these things, but.

35:18🔗 Caller All right.

35:19🔗 Drew But you know you're going to.

35:22🔗 Caller Yeah, in a way.

35:23🔗 Caller All right.

35:24🔗 Adam Well, why don't you stop if you know this is what the outcome is going to be.

35:27🔗 Drew Why don't you work on developing a relationship first and taking your time real slow with someone and then get into the physical piece. For some reason, the physical element throws you off. It makes you feel shameful or guilty or something. You blame the guy for your parents.

35:42🔗 Adam They were told you sex was bad.

35:45🔗 Caller No, no.

35:47🔗 Caller Well, my dad was pretty strict about that kind of thing.

35:50🔗 Caller But my mom was...

35:51🔗 Caller All right.

35:51🔗 Adam Well, that's something. Did your dad freak you out with that stuff?

35:57🔗 Caller No, not really. I mean, he was just strict about it.

36:01🔗 Adam Like what'd he do?

36:02🔗 Caller Like, he just, he never really liked me bringing guys around. And like, he just was really, like, rude to him and stuff. And I mean...

36:10🔗 Drew So we can say that good dad, good fathering.

36:12🔗 Adam Yeah.

36:13🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

36:14🔗 Adam You out on your own now?

36:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:16🔗 Adam Okay.

36:18🔗 Caller All right.

36:18🔗 Drew Slow down.

36:18🔗 Adam You know what you're doing.

36:19🔗 Drew Slow down. You should be, if there really is nothing there, you should be able to stop this.

36:24🔗 Adam I didn't sound like there was anything there.

36:26🔗 Caller And yet?

36:27🔗 Adam I feel like if we had like a small room, a chair and a flashlight, we could have got something out of her.

36:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:34🔗 Adam But, no, nothing wholesale. Dave?

36:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:39🔗 Adam You're 24. What's up?

36:40🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, see, recently I had hurt my foot and they had started giving me Ultram for medication. And I have high blood pressure to begin with. And now I'm wondering if I could use this, if I could still use this medicine and exercise a lot. Sometimes it gives me, I'm not sure if it's the medicine or that I'm exercising, I get chest pain.

37:07🔗 Drew Well, what's missing from this story?

37:09🔗 Caller What's that?

37:10🔗 Adam What's that Ultram? What is that?

37:12🔗 Drew It's an opiate. It's a non-addictive pain medicine, which of course there's no such thing. It's an opiate. How much Ultram were you taking?

37:18🔗 Caller Oh, I don't know.

37:20🔗 A couple of these every few hours.

37:21🔗 Caller Yeah, I am addicted to them.

37:24🔗 Drew To Ultram?

37:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:25🔗 Drew All right, so you're an addict? Yeah. Did you know you were an addict before you got strung out on the Ultram?

37:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:30🔗 Drew What were you addicted to?

37:31🔗 Caller Oh, just mostly pot.

37:33🔗 Drew Pot. Are you still smoking a lot of pot?

37:34🔗 Caller Oh yeah.

37:36🔗 Drew So you could have chronic bronchitis and that could be where the chest pain is from. What's with the high blood pressure?

37:42🔗 Caller I guess I'm just overweight. I've just always had it. I'm about 260 pounds, but I'm like 6'2. So I don't know what's up.

37:48🔗 Caller I mean, but you know, I got a gut there. What do you want for high blood pressure?

37:53🔗 Caller Oh God, what's it called?

37:53🔗 Adam Perpranolol. Wait a minute. What's if you're constantly exercising, what's with the extra weight?

38:02🔗 Caller I can't say I'm constantly exercising. I'm just trying to get in better shape.

38:06🔗 Adam I see. Do you eat a lot?

38:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:09🔗 Drew Yeah.

38:09🔗 How often do you take the Perpranolol?

38:11🔗 Drew Daily. Once a day?

38:13🔗 Caller Yes, once a day.

38:14🔗 Drew Is Perpranololong acting?

38:16🔗 Caller Yes. It's...

38:18🔗 Drew 80 milligrams?

38:20🔗 Caller 60 milligrams is Perpranolol, like LA or something.

38:22🔗 Drew LA, yeah, long-acting. Well, Perpranolol is not good for chronic bronchitis, which is what a pot typically gives you.

38:29🔗 Caller Okay.

38:30🔗 Drew However, Perpranolol is good for chest pain and...

38:33🔗 Adam He doesn't have bronchitis already.

38:36🔗 Drew Two, three years a pot, you'll get that.

38:39🔗 Caller I'm smoking like ten years.

38:41🔗 Drew Yeah, so he's ten years in the pot.

38:42🔗 Adam Yeah, maybe. Smoking a lot of weed?

38:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:45🔗 Adam All right, good times.

38:46🔗 Drew But now you're an opiate. I mean, you've progressed on to opiates now. Yeah, yeah. I would not focus on the chest pain or the blood pressure. The big issue here is you've got addiction. It's progressive. It's progressing. And that needs to be dealt with right now.

38:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, Dave.

38:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:00🔗 Adam The over-under on your death pool is 27 and a half. And that's natural causes.

39:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:06🔗 Adam So why don't you get it together, buddy?

39:08🔗 Caller So talk to you about that.

39:09🔗 Caller I mean, we're going to go to somebody about that.

39:11🔗 Drew What addictionologist are you up in San Francisco, Sacramento, the Hay-Dashbury Free Clinic up in San Francisco?

39:16🔗 Caller I don't know what's up with that, yeah.

39:17🔗 Drew Well, you can check in with them. They may know some referrals. I'm sure they would know referrals in Sacramento. And there is basically a serotonin reuptake inhibitor component of Ultram. And sometimes those will drive your blood pressure up a little bit too. And then it's coming on and off. I hope it will drive your pressure up a little bit.

39:33🔗 Adam You know what I like about Dave? He's a model caller, which is extraordinarily effed up.

39:39🔗 Drew Just the facts.

39:39🔗 Adam But just giving you the facts, he ain't arguing with you. He's not calling because he has a problem and then pretending like he doesn't have a problem. He's telling you he's smoked weed. He's telling you what meds he's on. He's telling you what he's hooked on. He's not saying, I'm just taking the pain medication because of this. He told me he was fat. He basically said he was fat. This is the kind of...

40:01🔗 Drew Let me quote him, I got a gut on me. That's what he said.

40:04🔗 Adam We could have kept the guy another five minutes. I could have got out, he was dumb and had bad breath.

40:08🔗 Drew No, I appreciate you.

40:09🔗 Adam I really appreciate you. I love Dave. I love this man. All of you. And have great hope for Dave and his future. Because he's admitting he has a problem and seems to want to do something about it. Absolutely. Let's take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Jeremiah. Jeremiah is seven years old now. Melissa, who do you want to talk to? Jeremiah wants to know how to tell his longtime girlfriend that he wants to leave her after this.

40:57🔗 Caller Hi, this is David Arquette, and you're listening to The Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

41:04🔗 Adam Yes, you is. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. It's about time for David Arquette to come back on this show.

41:13🔗 Drew Yeah, you could just talk about him right now. He might show up.

41:16🔗 Adam Usually works that way. Well, I'll tell you, Cisco and Ebert gave, well, not Cisco and Ebert, but whatever the current incarnation of that show is, I gave it two like amazingly low thumbs down the C-spot over here. Now you've seen that one, right?

41:35🔗 Drew No, my kids, my daughter saw it today. Glowing, she liked it, yeah.

41:39🔗 Adam That's the beauty about being a kid. Every song, every movie, you like everything but food. Everything but food.

41:47🔗 Caller What is that?

41:48🔗 Adam See the same movies over and over again. Hear the same songs over and over again.

41:53🔗 Drew How about these days when stuff is marketed to these kids and they can go home and play it over and over again. Videos, CDs.

42:00🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, back in the day, if there's a song you like, there are, you know, everyone, every kid grew up loving The Grinch that stole Christmas, loving all those Christmas shows. You had to just sit there in front of the TV.

42:17🔗 Drew Once a year.

42:18🔗 Adam Once a year? And do you remember like trying to time a commercial, like you headed into the bathroom or you headed into the kitchen and then you're like sister, brother would just, that's The Grinch, it's mine! And you'd be like sliding in your little socks, you know, across the floor and peeling out and diving. It means there was no TiVo, there was no taping. It ran once a year and they didn't stop it for anything. It's like you either caught it or you didn't. Thank God you were never doing anything. It's not like, oh yeah, Christ, I got that Elks meeting the night The Grinch is on, I can't make it. No, you're always home, but you didn't, it was like scary to leave the room. You could miss 10 seconds when you...

43:02🔗 Drew Nothing till next year.

43:04🔗 Caller Right.

43:06🔗 Adam I really do think the joke's on the kids now though. You see that Grinch tape sitting in every kid's room, just sitting there gathering dust. It doesn't mean anything.

43:15🔗 Drew It loses it.

43:15🔗 Adam It can't mean anything to them anymore. Big deal, Christmas comes around, oh, the Grinch is on. Big deal, I saw it in July. You know what I mean? I got it on a laser disk. Jeremiah?

43:29🔗 Caller Yeah?

43:31🔗 Adam You want to know how to tell your long-term girlfriend it's over?

43:34🔗 Caller Well, she wasn't really a long-term girlfriend.

43:36🔗 Caller I mean, we've been seeing each other.

43:38🔗 Drew How long?

43:38🔗 Caller It wasn't like a boyfriend-girlfriend type thing. It's just we would see each other.

43:42🔗 Adam All right, well.

43:43🔗 Drew Well, wait a minute.

43:44🔗 Adam Well, listen, they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend.

43:45🔗 Drew We gotta give our lecture about in a relationship.

43:47🔗 Adam It's not long-term and they're not boyfriend and girlfriend.

43:49🔗 Drew All right, so you can just either stop calling her or have a little talk with her and realize that at your age, these relationships wouldn't have gone on half as long as they did.

43:57🔗 Adam Well, listen, I'll tell you the reason why I just put them on hold is because I'm looking up at the screen and I see long-term girlfriend and he's telling me it ain't really long-term and they weren't really boyfriend and girlfriend.

44:09🔗 Drew It's weird energy night or just me.

44:11🔗 Adam No, it's fine. Just it, you weren't boyfriend and girlfriend and it wasn't going on for a long time. No big deal.

44:18🔗 Drew All right.

44:18🔗 Adam Just tell her no more.

44:19🔗 Drew All right. Or also realize that it's okay to end a relationship. These relationships would have been much sooner. Will in the future in your life and much sooner.

44:25🔗 Adam You do what I do. You say, it's not you. It's me. I don't like you. That always makes them feel good.

44:33🔗 Drew Jennifer.

44:35🔗 Adam Hey.

44:35🔗 Caller Hey.

44:36🔗 Adam You're 18. What's up?

44:37🔗 Caller Yeah. I want to know why my boyfriend takes so long to orgasm when we have sex and actually go numb and I get bored.

44:43🔗 Drew How long?

44:44🔗 Like 35 minutes sometimes.

44:46🔗 Drew See, guys, this business of going all night is not, that's not a female concept for most women. It's a male concept. Yeah. Most women, 10, 12 minutes, that's it, upper limits.

44:57🔗 Caller I know, but he thinks it's great, but I think it's horrible.

44:59🔗 Drew Yeah.

45:00🔗 Caller He says it's his curse, but, you know, for me.

45:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

45:04🔗 Adam He says it's his curse?

45:05🔗 It's his curse. Yeah.

45:06🔗 Caller Him and his brother have this curse because they last too long and the women get bored. We're sitting there, you know, basically like, come on.

45:14🔗 Drew Maybe he's bored because he's not sort of paying attention to you.

45:16🔗 Adam When you say we, you mean you and your vagina?

45:19🔗 Yeah.

45:21🔗 Caller You know, I can, you know, you know, I'll get mine, you know, I'll get my orgasm and he'll just, you know, like I'm still going, babe, you know, hang on.

45:28🔗 Adam Oh, hey, you know your way around a penis at 18, yeah?

45:32🔗 Yeah.

45:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:34🔗 I've been with them for two years.

45:35🔗 Adam I see.

45:37🔗 Drew I'll get mine.

45:38🔗 I'll get mine.

45:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:39🔗 Caller All right, babe.

45:42🔗 Adam What junior college are you heading for?

45:45🔗 I'm headed for Long Beach Junior College.

45:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:48🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Smell that junior college on people, boy. Well, there's nothing you can do to speed it up, but...

45:59🔗 Caller There's like no positions or anything?

46:01🔗 Adam Well, does he have, what position excites him the most?

46:04🔗 Caller When he's on top because, you know, in order to get mine, I have to be on top because the, you know, stimulation.

46:09🔗 Adam Right. But you got to get yours, yeah.

46:11🔗 Yeah, I have to get mine.

46:12🔗 Caller But he just takes, you know, a while.

46:14🔗 Adam Right. Well, obviously, if he's in his best position, that's good. And if he's not drunk or stoned, that's probably good too. And how about a nice BJ? Would that finish him off?

46:26🔗 It takes too long.

46:27🔗 Adam Takes that long that way too, huh?

46:30🔗 Caller It's horrible.

46:31🔗 Adam What if he...

46:32🔗 Caller And he can... And then, you know, he'll go like, oh, let's do it again, you know, after it took, you know, 30 minutes the first time, he wants to do it again, and I'm numb, and...

46:40🔗 Adam Right.

46:41🔗 Caller It's horrible.

46:42🔗 Drew I wonder if this relationship is meant to be. Just judging by the way they feel about each other. I forget the specifics of the mechanics here.

46:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:49🔗 Drew There's not a lot of love in this relationship. I'm willing.

46:51🔗 Adam No, I'm willing to work with them. You don't think this one was forged in heaven?

46:54🔗 Caller No.

46:55🔗 Adam Yeah, I gotta give me some.

46:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

46:57🔗 Adam And he wants his too, but I gotta say, hey, honey, I gotta get some too. So I get on top, I get some for me.

47:03🔗 Drew I get mine.

47:03🔗 Adam And then I grab a little something for my mom, because she don't get none no more. So I get her some. I get some for my baby sister. It's not old enough. She should get some later. That should give some back to me.

47:12🔗 Drew Store it up. Yeah.

47:12🔗 Caller Right.

47:13🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. You like him?

47:15🔗 I love him.

47:16🔗 Caller I love him. I've been with him for a while. You know, we had our problems, but.

47:19🔗 Drew You say, I love him because I've been with him for a while.

47:22🔗 No, I love him. I've been with him for so long.

47:24🔗 Drew I see you can't even say it without.

47:26🔗 Adam You can't just say you love him without the disclaimer about investing time with him.

47:32🔗 Caller I think you guys won't believe me because I'm so young.

47:34🔗 Adam Well, we believe you if you say you love the guy.

47:37🔗 I just don't love the fact that he takes forever.

47:39🔗 Adam Okay. Have you been pregnant by him yet?

47:43🔗 Drew No.

47:43🔗 Adam What are you using for birth control?

47:45🔗 Drew Ortho Nobum.

47:46🔗 Caller Good girl.

47:48🔗 Adam I have him yank himself for a while and then you come running in the room and polish him off or something.

47:54🔗 Drew That's the point. You need to work on something together. That would be some mutual way to help resolve this problem. Yeah.

48:01🔗 Adam And it does add 10 minutes when he knows you're bored and sore and going, I got some now. You got to get some for you.

48:06🔗 Drew Hurry up.

48:08🔗 Adam Hurry much now. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

48:20🔗 Caller Loveline.

48:22🔗 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Nellie Furtado is going to be in here a little bit later this week on Tuesday. Have you seen Nellie?

48:32🔗 No.

48:32🔗 Adam She's hot.

48:33🔗 What's she on?

48:34🔗 Adam She's, I don't know what she's on. No, she's a singer. No. Yeah. That's good, Drew. I'd be glad to hear that. Oh! Yeah, she's hot and she sings. Nice. Yeah, very good combination. Melissa?

48:49🔗 Yeah.

48:49🔗 Adam You're 18?

48:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:51🔗 Adam What's up?

48:52🔗 Caller Well, I was over at my mom's house where my brother lives using her computer to do homework, and I pulled up a file that was my brother's. That was probably about 50 files of child pornography.

49:06🔗 Adam Only 50?

49:07🔗 Caller It was quite a few.

49:09🔗 Adam How old's your brother?

49:10🔗 Caller He's going to be 21.

49:11🔗 Adam Wow.

49:12🔗 Caller He does have a history of child. He was molested when he was a child.

49:16🔗 Drew Oh boy.

49:17🔗 Caller I don't want to find out later that he's going out molesting little kids, so I don't know what to do.

49:23🔗 Adam Did he ever do anything to you?

49:25🔗 Caller No.

49:26🔗 Drew Can you tell your mom?

49:27🔗 Caller Well, my mom was there when I found it, and I said something about it, and she just didn't want to hear it. And then I came back the next day, and I told her it was important to me, and I needed to talk to her about it, and she pretty much said that she'd talk to him, but I don't think that's going to really do anything.

49:42🔗 Drew No, it won't.

49:43🔗 Adam What's he doing? He's 21. He's living at home.

49:46🔗 Caller He's not doing anything.

49:47🔗 Adam What's he doing? He doesn't have a job?

49:49🔗 Caller No.

49:50🔗 Adam Now, what are you doing?

49:51🔗 Caller I have my own place, and I'm working and going to school.

49:55🔗 Adam And how did you come out so sane?

49:58🔗 Caller I don't know.

50:00🔗 Adam And he's not your half-brother or anything?

50:03🔗 Caller No, he's my full brother.

50:04🔗 Adam And who molested him?

50:06🔗 Caller Well, we used to live in this little ghetto town, and the neighbor boy got to us.

50:15🔗 Drew Got to both of you?

50:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:17🔗 Drew You too?

50:18🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, see...

50:19🔗 Drew Wow. This is genetic theory here.

50:22🔗 Adam No, but Melissa's become sort of hypersensitive about it. Or not hyper, but what I mean is she's become sensitive to it. I mean, there's two ways you go when something happens to you. You either become one yourself or you start a group to stop it.

50:37🔗 Drew Right.

50:38🔗 Adam You're more the start a group to stop it, and he's more the become one himself.

50:43🔗 Caller Well, I'm not trying to like start a movement against it.

50:45🔗 Caller I mean, I'm not for it or anything.

50:47🔗 Caller I just really, I don't want to not do anything about it and find out later that it's gone in the wrong direction.

50:52🔗 Adam No, I appreciate that, and I think that's a good thing.

50:54🔗 Drew I'm going to give you a child abuse hotline, okay?

50:56🔗 Caller Well, I called our child abuse hotline, and they said go to the police, and then I called a different hotline, and they said that they'd give me information, and they never called back and they haven't been very helpful at all.

51:09🔗 Adam Did you think that, do you think he's done this to anybody?

51:13🔗 Caller Well, I, he hasn't got any morals or he doesn't have a sense of right and wrong, as far as I've seen, and I think that it's a possibility. If not having already happened, it could happen in the future.

51:24🔗 Drew I think you've got to.

51:25🔗 Caller But my mom thinks that it won't.

51:26🔗 Adam Where, and where's your dad?

51:29🔗 Caller My dad kind of bailed on us a couple years ago.

51:33🔗 Drew Wow.

51:33🔗 Adam And he's nowhere to be found?

51:35🔗 Caller Well, he, sort of.

51:37🔗 Caller Right now we're in a child support battle, so.

51:41🔗 Drew So, you can't really communicate with your dad?

51:43🔗 Caller No, I have no desire to talk to him. He wouldn't do anything about it anyway.

51:47🔗 Adam Yeah. What a dynamite individual, by the way. What a fabulous, fabulous individual. I'd like to really spend some time with him. Well, it's you and your mom, and your mom ain't listening.

51:58🔗 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

51:59🔗 Drew I think you have to call law enforcement. Even if they were just to come over, you know, and you don't know that he's done anything. I don't know if it's against the law to even look up child protection.

52:06🔗 Adam No, I think it is.

52:08🔗 Caller I had one hotline that said it was, and one hotline that said it wasn't.

52:10🔗 Adam Well, it may depend where you are, but I think it is a crime.

52:14🔗 Drew But be that as it may, I think he needs to be supervised. He needs to be alerted. He's committing a crime in some states, and if the police, I'm sure they know how to deal with this, and I would tell them, you got to do it.

52:27🔗 Caller But I'm also kind of scared about what would happen to my mom if I did that because it's her software on her computer, and I know that she'd probably be ostracized by her. She lives in a pretty calm apartment community.

52:42🔗 Drew Why do they have to be involved with it at all?

52:44🔗 Caller Well, I don't know.

52:46🔗 Caller I just don't see it going in.

52:49🔗 Drew What if you called the police and just questioned them on what you should be doing?

52:52🔗 Caller I could probably do that.

52:53🔗 Drew Just say it's an anonymous call, here's the situation.

52:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:56🔗 Drew Do they have recommendations?

52:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:59🔗 Adam The police are going to tell you, I bet that they're going to have to wait for him to do something.

53:04🔗 Caller Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

53:05🔗 Drew Unless it's against the law to do the job, point out that.

53:07🔗 Adam All right. You can inquire about that. Yeah. I think you're going to have to... Is your mom a coherent person?

53:14🔗 Caller Yeah. She's on the right track and everything.

53:16🔗 Adam All right. How about you have a serious sit down with mom when brother's at the arcade or wherever the hell he goes during the day?

53:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:25🔗 Drew A daycare job he's got.

53:27🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, really sit down with mom and say, listen, I don't know if you understand the gravity of this situation, but if he hasn't done something, he may soon do something and that's going to be on your head. Yeah. Let's not dance around this one. We have to confront it. Yeah.

53:43🔗 Drew All right.

53:44🔗 Adam All right. You're doing God's work there, Alyssa.

53:46🔗 Drew Yeah. You are. Thank you. Thanks for...

53:49🔗 Adam Stay with it...

53:49🔗 Drew .keeping together what you've been through.

53:51🔗 Adam All righty. Yeah. Good times. Oh, Stephanie. Why that molestation? It's the gift that keeps giving. Stephanie, you're 16. What's up?

54:04🔗 Drew Not there.

54:05🔗 Adam Well, she's been on hold for 48 minutes.

54:08🔗 Drew Short by Loveline standards.

54:11🔗 Adam She could be sleeping. Women don't snore. Why don't women snore? No, you don't. No, that's just a sound going up and down.

54:23🔗 Caller Why don't...

54:25🔗 Drew You hear that?

54:27🔗 Adam All right, let's be quiet for five seconds. You ready?

54:30🔗 Go.

54:37🔗 Adam That was her. A little, a little. I wouldn't hold up in court if you played a recording of that for the jury.

54:43🔗 Drew That's her. She's 16.

54:45🔗 Caller Oh.

54:49🔗 Adam Stephanie. Stephanie. Dr. Drew, why don't women snore? Is it because they're nicer?

55:04🔗 Drew They're nicer, they're God's children. No, they don't have as much weight in this area. Typically, chin, neck. There's some thickening of the vocal cords in the back of the palate from testosterone, the position of the larynx.

55:19🔗 Adam I think the boobs would add a little something.

55:22🔗 Drew It's not, for the sleep apnea, but not for the snoring.

55:26🔗 Adam Dennis, you're 23. What's up?

55:30🔗 Caller Hey, today when I was having sex with my fiance, after I came, I got real lightheaded and almost passed out. I even had tunnel vision. And then from that point until now, I've had a pain in my abdomen, at the right side of my abdomen.

55:48🔗 Drew Abdomen?

55:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:51🔗 Drew Well, there's nothing specific that this is consistent with, but it obviously needs some sort of evaluation, right?

55:58🔗 Caller I don't know.

55:59🔗 Adam Were you hyperventilating?

56:01🔗 Caller No, not really. I was just, I mean, we've done it many times in that position. And it's never happened before.

56:08🔗 Adam Let me tell you, maybe you were talking too much. I've almost passed out from talking too much sexually. You know, you ever run on a treadmill and you try to have a conversation, or you're like sparring with someone, and you start talking, and then before you know it, you feel like you're going to pass out? You ever jog and talk? You know when you're on top of a woman, you're like, yeah, you love it, baby. It's the best you ever had it. Yeah, baby, we're going to go all, and then you just pass out?

56:32🔗 Caller Well, I wasn't.

56:33🔗 Adam You ever done that, Drew?

56:34🔗 Drew No, never done that.

56:34🔗 Caller I wasn't talking at all. She actually made that comment that I never even make noise when we're having sex.

56:40🔗 Drew Do you have any medical problems?

56:41🔗 Caller No, I don't.

56:42🔗 Drew Are you on any medication?

56:43🔗 Caller No, I don't. No, I'm not.

56:44🔗 Drew Were you doing drugs or anything at the time?

56:46🔗 Caller No, I don't do drugs.

56:47🔗 Drew Okay, had you a history of doing drugs?

56:50🔗 Caller No, never done drugs.

56:51🔗 Drew Okay, all right. Well, it may just be the hyperventilation, as Adam said. There's nothing specific. I don't know what the right upper quadrant pain is about. But it's something that needs evaluation. Just to be at least get a physical exam to make sure there's not something obvious, something specific going on.

57:04🔗 Adam Dennis, are you a cop?

57:07🔗 Caller Well, I work for the city.

57:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

57:11🔗 Caller I work doing security for them while I'm in college.

57:14🔗 Drew Why do you ask?

57:16🔗 Adam Well, I think he's a cop.

57:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:18🔗 Adam Yeah. I just got that vibe. So I got the security vibe from you, Dennis. That's all.

57:23🔗 Caller Well, I'm going to college to become a cop.

57:25🔗 Adam Yeah.

57:25🔗 Drew It could have been just a panic attack, possibly. There's a lot of things it could have been, but nothing specific comes to mind for me.

57:30🔗 Adam I got the cop vibe from Dennis. That's all. I don't get any credit for that?

57:34🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. Well done.

57:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:35🔗 Adam Thanks, buddy.

57:36🔗 Drew I strangely got the same kind of security guard vibe. Was there some radio going in the background or something?

57:41🔗 Caller They heard just a beep of something.

57:42🔗 Adam They heard something right when we came on.

57:45🔗 Drew I got night watchman. That's when I was...

57:47🔗 Adam And he got that never done drug before in my life. Like people were listening. What name is that?

57:54🔗 Drew Margalit.

57:55🔗 Caller Yeah, it's me.

57:55🔗 Adam Margalit.

57:56🔗 Caller What's up?

57:57🔗 Adam You're 16. What's going on?

57:59🔗 Caller Adam, I'm wondering, could you call my boyfriend real quick? Because I'm really nervous. He'll be able to talk better than I can right now.

58:06🔗 Drew You're doing fine, Margalit.

58:08🔗 Caller Am I?

58:08🔗 Drew Tell us what the deal is.

58:09🔗 Caller Okay. Basically, here's what's going on. Today, my boyfriend and I were at his grandma's, and she went downstairs to smoke a cigarette on the patio. And it was like a spur of the moment thing. And basically, he said, So do you want to mess around? Like, what do you want to do? So basically, like, we wound up in the kitchen and I was giving him a head. And we wound up in his grandma's bedroom because there's a mirror in there. And he was laying on the bed and I was going at it. And his grandma walked in and I could hear her in the hallway. And oh my god, I'm really nervous right now. Sorry. And I could hear her in the hallway and I flipped my hair back and stood up. And she just kind of said, Oh, it's 75 degrees out on the patio. Hmm, that's kind of weird. And I like walked away and me and him stayed in the bedroom for like forever. We were like so scared. And he called his sister on her cell phone to ask her what to do. And she basically said, like, just play it off. She felt like nothing ever happened.

59:22🔗 Adam Oh, my God. The day I called my sister to ask her what to do because we're going to BJ Grandma's house today, I just check out.

59:29🔗 Caller You don't understand, though. It's like I explained to you because like she she like knows everything about his grandma. She lives with him. And like she would know what how to handle it. You know what I'm saying? He's like close to his sister. So like they could share whatever they are.

59:40🔗 Drew I got a couple of questions here. Yes. What what did the kitchen have to do with the story?

59:44🔗 Adam Well, that's where they started.

59:45🔗 Caller We started out in like, I don't know, because like there's a window above the patio. And so like he was watching her.

59:53🔗 Drew So you could watch her from the kitchen and do your thing there.

59:56🔗 Caller To see if she was going to come in.

59:57🔗 Drew I see. And then why did you go into the bedroom?

59:59🔗 Caller Why? Because there's a mirror in there.

1:00:02🔗 Drew What does that do for you?

1:00:02🔗 Adam Well, it likes to watch.

1:00:03🔗 Caller It doesn't do anything for me, but it does something for him, I guess.

1:00:05🔗 Adam Well, if you position it right and you could still see her out on the patio, they were...

1:00:10🔗 Drew Was it focusing the sunlight on something?

1:00:13🔗 Adam No, you, Drew, you know you get a BJ. You like to see what's going on sometimes.

1:00:17🔗 Drew Just open your eyes and you can see what's going on.

1:00:19🔗 Adam I understand. Yeah, but you can't catch that profile.

1:00:23🔗 Drew So you have to get the porn camera angle. Is that the deal?

1:00:27🔗 Adam I like to pretend like I'm starting my own movie.

1:00:29🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

1:00:29🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, oftentimes I have to just lean way over to the side so I can just... It's not easy.

1:00:36🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

1:00:37🔗 Caller It's so funny. I love you to death.

1:00:38🔗 Adam Well, listen, you know, this guy, he's quite a master.

1:00:42🔗 Drew An operator.

1:00:43🔗 Adam He's quite an operator because grandma goes out to smoke a butt on the porch.

1:00:49🔗 Drew I want to paint the picture of grandma, too. I want to sound more about her.

1:00:52🔗 Adam What is that going to take, all of three and a half minutes?

1:00:55🔗 Caller Oh, like her grandma?

1:00:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:57🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, what is...

1:00:58🔗 Drew What's he thinking?

1:00:59🔗 Caller I don't know. Like, she usually takes, like, a long time to smoke a butt.

1:01:02🔗 Drew Yeah, and he's going to get a blowjob in the kitchen while he watches grandma on the lookout.

1:01:06🔗 Adam Yeah. And then once he's... I mean, he's watching her. She's three quarters away through the cigarette. Then he adjourns to her bedroom.

1:01:14🔗 Caller No, she, like, just lit it up when... Like, usually she smokes, like, one or two at a time. And, like, so I don't know.

1:01:20🔗 Drew Tell us more about the grandma. What does she do? Does she work still?

1:01:23🔗 Caller No, she's, um, she's not very old. She's, like, 89 or something.

1:01:27🔗 Drew Oh, my God. This poor woman almost killed her.

1:01:30🔗 Caller Well, like, he's walking... She walked in on his sister, too. That's the thing.

1:01:34🔗 Drew Oh, this poor woman.

1:01:35🔗 Adam Let's just take that to her eternal resting spot. That's probably the last picture she'll have in her head before the Grim Reaper shows up.

1:01:42🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

1:01:43🔗 Adam Maybe the Grim Reaper will get himself a BJ over at her house, too. Wouldn't that be fitting? Well, now, I just want to clear something up. You were in her bedroom with the door closed.

1:01:55🔗 Caller No, the door was open.

1:01:56🔗 Drew Oh, that's genius.

1:01:58🔗 Caller Right. All right.

1:01:59🔗 Adam You heard her coming down the hall. And did she turn the corner and step into the bedroom?

1:02:06🔗 Caller No, she was standing in the hallway and like I could hear like creaks in the hallway.

1:02:11🔗 Drew You still didn't stop what you were doing?

1:02:13🔗 Caller No, I did stop. Like I threw my hair back in. Like my boyfriend sat up, had a quick and like put himself away. And I know she saw, though. I know.

1:02:20🔗 Adam You mean she stepped into the doorway?

1:02:22🔗 Caller No, she didn't even step into the doorway. Well, like she from the angle that she was standing. I know she saw like she's eighty nine. Yeah. I have eighty seven or eighty nine. I don't know somewhere between there.

1:02:32🔗 Drew It's pretty easy to be able to see anything. It's pretty good.

1:02:35🔗 Adam All right. So the door was open. She walked down the hall. She stopped. And when did she start talking about the temperature outside?

1:02:43🔗 Caller It was like right when I stood up and I like kind of moved over and I was hoping like she wouldn't look at me because if she made eye contact with me, I would have like died. But I moved over and she just said, Oh, it's seventy five degrees out on that patio.

1:02:57🔗 Adam So you saw her say that?

1:03:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:00🔗 Adam You saw her in the doorway.

1:03:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:03🔗 Adam OK.

1:03:04🔗 Caller So OK.

1:03:05🔗 Adam And your boyfriend was covered up by then?

1:03:08🔗 Caller Well, yeah, I tried to.

1:03:10🔗 Adam So OK. Yeah, she don't know.

1:03:12🔗 Caller And she does.

1:03:13🔗 Caller I'm telling you.

1:03:14🔗 Adam All right.

1:03:14🔗 Caller Well, my boyfriend said to her later, you know, my boyfriend said to her, like, sorry that you had to walk in on that. Grandma, I was like, what? I don't what?

1:03:24🔗 Caller And he's like, he's 89.

1:03:25🔗 Caller You guys awkward.

1:03:26🔗 Drew Yeah, but she's not processing the way, you know, 89 year olds don't process the way 17 year olds do.

1:03:31🔗 Caller But the thing is, like when she walked away the first time, she was like, she's like that fricking bastard.

1:03:39🔗 Adam No, she did not say that.

1:03:43🔗 Drew Wait a minute, get her back. She didn't say that.

1:03:45🔗 Caller Yes, she did.

1:03:46🔗 Drew Why did she say that in the first place then?

1:03:50🔗 Caller What did she say? Like she just said about the temperature and we said, oh wow, that's a lot. And then she walked away. And as she was walking away, we could hear her saying like that fricking bastard made her suck his thing. No, she didn't say thing. She said like, you know, the seaworth.

1:04:10🔗 Drew An 89 year old talking like that?

1:04:12🔗 Caller Yeah. That's the thing. Like she's like super cool though.

1:04:15🔗 Adam No, what? Now hold on, you retard. We've been questioning you for 10 minutes over whether she knows or not. And you say, no, I think she knows.

1:04:27🔗 Caller No, I told you I know she knows. I know she saw me because that's what she said.

1:04:31🔗 Adam I will tell us about the part where she said you did what you did. Oh, please. I'm done with you. I'm disgusted.

1:04:39🔗 Drew So what do we do? What do we do for her?

1:04:41🔗 Adam Oh, who cares? She's going to be dead in 10 minutes anyway.

1:04:45🔗 Drew The grandma.

1:04:46🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:04:47🔗 Drew Well, I think.

1:04:50🔗 Adam They're both so freaked out about it. She's blowing them in every room in the house.

1:04:54🔗 Drew They're being disrespectful of her household. They're showing poor boundaries.

1:04:57🔗 Adam A trail of semen going all over that place. It's like the tape house.

1:05:01🔗 Drew The sister's doing it too. The grandma walked in on the sister also. But the fact is you've made an attempt to make amends with her. She's playing like she doesn't know anything. She's saying, leave her alone. Just be more respectful of her household. That's it. Just get on with things.

1:05:14🔗 Adam If we ever spend a half hour trying to suss out whether somebody is aware of something or not, please use as evidence the part where they actually spoke about what you did. If you're making an argument for why they know, bring up the part where they said, I saw you doing whatever it was you were doing. That's going to help your argument. We can stop going over the hypothetical about her eyesight or how far down the hole she was or if she actually stepped into the doorway or if the boyfriend was covered up or not. We can cut through all of that.

1:05:55🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:05:56🔗 Adam I don't believe her.

1:05:58🔗 Drew No, I believe her. I believe her. I just don't believe that she actually heard what she thinks she heard with her grandmother.

1:06:03🔗 Caller Eric? Hey guys.

1:06:04🔗 Adam You're 27.

1:06:06🔗 Caller I'm 27 and this question is probably more for Dr. Drew. About six months ago, it started and every time I defecate, I guess is the word to use on the air, I get a seminal semen discharge out of my penis.

1:06:22🔗 Drew You're sure it's semen?

1:06:23🔗 Caller I'm pretty sure. It has the same consistency and look and everything. The only two things I can think of is, like eight months ago, I had unprotected sex with a questionable female. I'm not really sure about her history. So I'm thinking maybe it's an STD, but this is the only time it happens. Other than if I'm really having sex.

1:06:47🔗 Drew I doubt it's an STD. When the movie is out, it can squeeze the seminal vesicles and release some stuff. Really? Potentially. You ought to have a doctor take a look at it just to make sure the plumbing is open. Are you on medication?

1:07:00🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm on Paxil.

1:07:01🔗 Drew That's what's doing it.

1:07:03🔗 Adam Really?

1:07:03🔗 Drew There you go.

1:07:04🔗 Adam That toilet's got to be a mess.

1:07:08🔗 Caller It's not like it shoots out or anything.

1:07:10🔗 Drew I know. It's the Paxil. The plumbing is not quite right, but it's the Paxil.

1:07:16🔗 Adam I've never heard. We never got that one, did we?

1:07:18🔗 Drew We've had this one before and I've always asked them when they're on medication. They've often said, no, but this can do that.

1:07:23🔗 Adam You've got that Duke iceberg with a nice Jizz Slick floating in the toilet. That's bad times.

1:07:29🔗 Drew Nice.

1:07:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:07:30🔗 Drew Good times.

1:07:31🔗 Adam Yeah, good times.

1:07:34🔗 Drew Let's see if Stephanie's awake.

1:07:37🔗 Adam That's experiencing two of life's greatest sensations simultaneously. So, hey, Drew, give me some of that Paxil, will you?

1:07:45🔗 Drew You should try to work on the time in that. You've got the ninja focus.

1:07:51🔗 Adam That's interesting. Boy, you know, that'd be a great bet.

1:07:56🔗 Drew Like you could do. How would the bet go down?

1:08:00🔗 Adam Somebody would have to pony up like 50 grand to see.

1:08:05🔗 Drew You'd have to pay the referee. You have to pay the judge with that money.

1:08:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:08:09🔗 Drew That's what it would have cost you, somebody to judge that bet.

1:08:11🔗 Adam But with these small surveillance cameras and stuff these days, they put them in glasses, they put them in hats, you know what I'm saying? Somebody, we could work this thing out.

1:08:23🔗 Drew It's still a sight, a vision that would have to be compensated. Yeah, for years of therapy afterwards.

1:08:30🔗 Adam I'd have to train on that one, but I wonder if I could work it out. I bet Sting could do it. He could do anything with his penis. All right, let's take ourselves a break. When we come back with...

1:08:40🔗 Drew Oh, that was Stephanie. We were just thinking she was awake.

1:08:41🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, forget about Stephanie. Oh, she's awake? Is she awake? Stephanie?

1:08:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:47🔗 Adam You up, baby?

1:08:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:48🔗 Drew Were you asleep there?

1:08:50🔗 Caller Yeah, I was asleep.

1:08:56🔗 Adam Okay, hold on a second.

1:08:57🔗 Caller Okay.

1:08:58🔗 Adam We'll, uh, you stay awake though, right?

1:09:00🔗 Caller I promise.

1:09:01🔗 Adam And have a cup of coffee, we'll be gone for just a few minutes, and we'll get back with Stephanie.

1:09:24🔗 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:09:40🔗 Adam Loveline and some more gas for you there, Drew. Now I'm fanning. For those of you don't think fanning works, it works. It works. That should be here. Oh, doggy. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, Anderson hates gas. I was at dinner at my dad's house last night. I was telling my aunt Pat, who's in her mid-sixties. She's one of these chicks who...

1:10:17🔗 Caller Chicks....

1:10:21🔗 Adam Pat is one of these women who sort of wears, you know, been wearing walking, you know, this nurse-type walking shoes her whole life.

1:10:30🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:10:30🔗 Adam She's going to be comfortable.

1:10:31🔗 Drew The big white ones, yeah.

1:10:32🔗 Adam Long hair is a pain in the ass. She's always like lesbian but straight. Right. You know those women who are so practical, they almost seem like they're lesbians? Like, I wear flannel. It's comfortable. And it doesn't need pressing, you know. And you wear those like nurse shoes and you wear that short cropped hair because when you get out of the shower, who's got time to dry it, blah, blah, blah.

1:10:54🔗 Drew Is this your mom's sister or your dad's sister?

1:10:56🔗 Adam This is my dad's side. But she's not even my aunt. She's my cousin. My dad doesn't have a sister. But you know, anyone who's older than you can't be your cousin.

1:11:04🔗 Caller All right.

1:11:04🔗 Adam I think I'll be your aunt. But anyway, she's one of these women. She's the one who has the handle for the half gallon paper milk jug. The plastic thing, thing drops into.

1:11:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:16🔗 Adam It's been going on 30 years now. It broke and she glued it back together. She's one. And I don't know if people do this anymore either. Remember when people who smoked had a little smoking purse? Well, they make little pouches, a little snap pouch. And you put your cigarettes in there in a little place for your lighter. Maybe like a little place for your mints or something. It was kind of like what a flask is for guys who like to drink. It's like a little smoking purse. You keep it in your purse, but it's where your cigarettes, your lighter. She's one of those kind of people. And I was explaining to her that-

1:11:51🔗 Drew I imagine one of the twin sisters that watches Selma and Patty from The Simpsons. Watches MacGyver.

1:12:01🔗 Adam There's some of that in there. Yeah. So anyway, I was explaining to her that at my job at the Man Show, that I will walk across the room and fart on either Jimmy or Daniel, whoever happens to be in there, and they will walk across the room to fart on me. And she was just shocked and dumbfounded. She's like, the whole table just sat there like, what are you doing? We go out of our way to fart on people.

1:12:25🔗 Drew What are you doing with your life?

1:12:27🔗 Adam Well, like, they were really disgusted. I thought I'd get a laugh.

1:12:32🔗 Drew I just wondered if, you guys have done that so much for so long now, do you even react, greet? Is that a greeting?

1:12:38🔗 Adam I'll tell you one thing, if I go across the room to go get something out of a file drawer and walk behind Daniel's desk, Daniel dives under the desk. Stephanie?

1:12:50🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:12:50🔗 Adam It's a real tip of the hat to me and my ass. You're 16. What's going on there, baby?

1:12:57🔗 Caller I have a confusing situation, so I'm just going to tell you and then I'll have my question. When I was five, no, two, my parents divorced and my dad remarried when I was five and they got divorced. My mom, my birth mom abandoned me when I was five and she came back into my life recently. And my step, my ex-stepmother adopted me recently. And it's very confusing. I don't have a relationship with anybody in my family. If I used to, they either abandoned me or my dad was a drug addict and so that got ruined. And I was wondering if that's going to affect my whole life. Like I can't trust anybody at all.

1:13:38🔗 Drew It certainly does make that, makes it difficult to have relationships, doesn't it?

1:13:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:13:43🔗 Drew Have you thought about getting some treatment for this?

1:13:45🔗 Caller I've been in therapy for about five years. All right.

1:13:48🔗 Drew That may be why you sound as good as you do. And maybe why it doesn't have to affect your whole life. It's going to have an effect on you. You're not going to be the same person you would have been had there been no difficulties like this.

1:14:01🔗 Adam Who knows?

1:14:01🔗 Drew But who knows? And maybe this will be something, there'll be some source of spiritual connection or meaning that comes out of this college.

1:14:10🔗 Adam Well, let me tell you what I think, Stephanie. This is Adam speaking. I like when people do that. Most people go through their life in sort of a haze. I mean, they don't really examine their past. They don't work on it. They don't try to attack their problems. Most of our society, an alarmingly high percentage of our society, is just sort of doomed to make the same mistakes over and over, living out their childhood fantasies and role playing and casting a play and all that good cliché stuff. And the one good thing about somebody who actually has had some difficulties and who's aware of it and who is working on it is you will actually strengthen yourself and get a foot up on the rest of society because you had this hand dealt to you. So what was a disability can be an advantage down the road.

1:15:04🔗 Drew Like somebody has a bad leg injury in their kid and they end up becoming a triathlete because they.

1:15:08🔗 Adam I was going to say it's like some guy hurt his back or something. So he has to rehab. So he works extra hard and he ends up being better than he was before the injury.

1:15:17🔗 Drew But but that same guy may have been a couch potato and he lived his normal life.

1:15:22🔗 Adam Right.

1:15:23🔗 Caller So.

1:15:24🔗 Adam Yeah, I know what you're 16. You're right at the beginning of this journey.

1:15:29🔗 Caller Well, because my mom came back into my life this past August. And it turns out I have a sister, too, and from my birth mom. And she left early because I asked her to sign the adoption papers for my ex-step mom. And she left and we had a big fight. And I tried to call her and send them Christmas cards and nothing happened. And I've like kept it all behind me until now. And it's just like a snowball effect.

1:15:55🔗 Caller And I don't know how to deal with it.

1:15:57🔗 Adam Well, you have a good relationship with your stepmom, right?

1:16:00🔗 Caller No, not at all.

1:16:01🔗 Drew She's gone, too.

1:16:02🔗 Adam But didn't she want to adopt you?

1:16:04🔗 Caller Yeah, she adopted me, but she tried to kick me out earlier this year.

1:16:09🔗 Caller It's a very weird relationship.

1:16:11🔗 Adam Are you acting out?

1:16:13🔗 Caller Um, I used to.

1:16:14🔗 Adam Okay. How are you doing in school?

1:16:17🔗 Caller Um, I've always had bad grades. I'm doing better, though, this semester.

1:16:20🔗 Drew Good.

1:16:21🔗 Adam I guess, you know, basically, here's your plan, Stephanie. You know, society has to be your family.

1:16:28🔗 Drew Well, she's got a therapist.

1:16:30🔗 Adam Well, I mean, you have, yeah, you're a therapist.

1:16:31🔗 Caller My therapist is just recommending me to another therapist, so...

1:16:36🔗 Adam Why?

1:16:37🔗 Caller Because she said that she was brought into the situation for school things, and she thinks that I should be better with a family psychiatrist.

1:16:45🔗 Adam Oh, okay. All right. Well, you know, listen to a recommendation. Do you have friends?

1:16:51🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:16:52🔗 Adam Okay.

1:16:53🔗 Caller It's hard, because I always double think like...

1:16:56🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, look, Stephanie, here are your short-term goals. Boob job?

1:17:03🔗 Caller No. Not needed.

1:17:04🔗 Adam Short... Oh, really? What are you packing there, baby? Pretty large. Oh, good times, good times. So, God wasn't that growly, huh? Now, short-term goals. Get your grades good, so you can go somewhere to college. Have your friends, have your new therapist, and you make your own life outside of the family. Yep. I mean, it's real sad, but I tell people this every night. If your family, if it ain't happening there, you gotta go out. You will... Society can be your family. Not all of society. But, I mean, there's some great people out there. I mean, I've made friends, and Drew, I know you're not allowed to have friends, but hypothetically, if your wife lets you have friends, I've made all my money with my friends. I've had all my good times with my friends. I, every like fun and exciting travel experience I've had has been with my friends. You can get a partner and do this. You can get a wife or a husband. You can...

1:18:06🔗 Drew Why aren't you gay?

1:18:08🔗 Adam I should be gay.

1:18:09🔗 Drew You are gay.

1:18:09🔗 Adam I love to be gay. Do you know the time we could have if we were gay?

1:18:15🔗 Drew How about you and Jimmy?

1:18:16🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

1:18:18🔗 Adam What a great, great time.

1:18:19🔗 Drew How about you and Daniel?

1:18:20🔗 Adam Oh, I don't know. He's a handful. That little minx. He's too much. I can't... I need roller skates to keep up with him. Lydia?

1:18:31🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

1:18:31🔗 Adam Is Lydia sleeping too?

1:18:34🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. I got it.

1:18:43🔗 Caller Maybe not.

1:18:43🔗 Adam No, you just think you'll hear that.

1:18:45🔗 Drew I heard Stephanie.

1:18:46🔗 Adam No, you just heard a little breath, that's all.

1:18:49🔗 Caller Josh?

1:18:50🔗 Caller Yeah, how's it going, Adam?

1:18:51🔗 Drew Hang a second, Josh. I heard a little breath. Yeah, that's right. That's what I heard. It's her sleeping.

1:18:56🔗 Adam That was your own breath.

1:18:57🔗 Drew Oh, I see.

1:18:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:59🔗 Adam Josh, you're 17.

1:19:00🔗 Caller Hey, how's it going?

1:19:01🔗 Adam What's up?

1:19:02🔗 Caller Well, maybe like last week, they gave it on a Tuesday night. Me and my girlfriend were having sex, right? And I kind of find out that it was pretty hard to penetrate because she was a little dry.

1:19:15🔗 Adam I see.

1:19:16🔗 Caller We did the whole foreplay thing and everything.

1:19:18🔗 Adam Sure, get that out of the way.

1:19:19🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. And we managed to, and she was lubricating, you know, semi-normally.

1:19:27🔗 Adam Yeah. Good times.

1:19:29🔗 Caller Maybe like after our 15-minute break, we usually go for another one. But it was hard to manage. And that time, she had told me like maybe, I don't know, it was like two days before she was going to be on our period. And she told me that she knew that because she usually gets cramps and her breasts hurt. So I was wondering if that's normal.

1:19:52🔗 Drew Yes, because she could be sort of dry before a period? Yes.

1:19:55🔗 Adam Yeah, it's funny. I feel like we're doing an automotive show here. She wasn't lubing correctly. It could be one of the cam towers, maybe. Maybe a cam oil and rod could be bad. If the pressure is bad, you may want to step up the viscosity, go up to like a 20 W 50. And is it cold weather or warm? Is it warm where you're calling from?

1:20:22🔗 Caller It's pretty warm.

1:20:23🔗 Adam Yeah, it's warm weather. Then maybe step down to 30 weight.

1:20:27🔗 Drew Well, Dr. Drew?

1:20:27🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, where I'm from, it's probably about a clean 100 miles from San Diego and it gets up to like 120.

1:20:35🔗 Adam 120 degrees.

1:20:36🔗 Drew Are you Mexicali or something? Calexico really?

1:20:39🔗 Caller I'm about 30 miles from Mexicali. I'm in Brawley.

1:20:42🔗 Adam Yeah. I see.

1:20:43🔗 Caller Pretty hot.

1:20:44🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, what about that lube problem, Drew?

1:20:47🔗 Drew So again, things like the birth control pills can sometimes make women a little drier and there's certain phases in the menstrual cycle that can be associated with that too. And maybe you're just being a little bit too... Give her a little break.

1:21:00🔗 Caller All right. Well...

1:21:01🔗 Drew Use some lube if you need to.

1:21:02🔗 Adam Yeah. Like I said. Michelle?

1:21:06🔗 Caller Oh, God. Am I on?

1:21:08🔗 Adam Yes, you is.

1:21:09🔗 Caller I was sleeping.

1:21:12🔗 Adam I had a few chicks go on us tonight. I've never had that before. Have we, Drew?

1:21:17🔗 Drew More than one person go to sleep? I mean...

1:21:18🔗 Adam No.

1:21:19🔗 Drew Women. Yeah, it's usually the guys.

1:21:21🔗 Adam Women don't nod off. Yeah. I don't think women nod off. Well, they do, but, like, women don't fall asleep. Do they fall asleep at the wheel?

1:21:31🔗 Drew Not the way guys do.

1:21:32🔗 Adam Guys fall asleep at the wheel more than women. And guys fall asleep in front of the TV more than women. I think guys pass out more than women.

1:21:41🔗 Drew I think you're right.

1:21:41🔗 Adam In general. There isn't always the woman who's, like, putting the blanket over the guy or grabbing the steering wheel or something. All right, Michelle, what's up?

1:21:50🔗 Caller Oh, OK. Um, I kind of have a problem. It's weird. Um, a long time ago, when I was like 12, my uncle would come over a lot when my mom wasn't home. And he'd, like, touch me.

1:22:04🔗 Adam Hold on a second, Drew, if somebody ever, if your kid ever starts that question, how, what point do you just run out of the room screaming? Holding your ears.

1:22:12🔗 Drew Uncle. And when the word uncle comes out.

1:22:14🔗 Caller Okay.

1:22:15🔗 Adam All right. So your uncle used to touch you.

1:22:18🔗 Caller Yeah. And then it got to the point where I didn't want to talk to him anymore. And I kind of shut him out of my life for about two years. But my mom was like, always asking me why. And I wouldn't tell her.

1:22:30🔗 Drew How old is he now?

1:22:32🔗 Caller 35.

1:22:33🔗 Adam And how old was he when this went on? Or how old were you when this went on?

1:22:37🔗 Caller I was 12.

1:22:39🔗 Drew And he was 31.

1:22:41🔗 Caller He was 32 or something.

1:22:44🔗 Adam Dynamite. Dynamite guy. And nothing before you were 12 with him.

1:22:51🔗 Caller Not really.

1:22:52🔗 Adam What kind of touching? Just touching?

1:22:55🔗 Caller Well, for an example, one time we were out in my back house and we were like playing Nintendo and stuff and then he starts tickling me and I'm like, OK, well, whatever. But then he like starts like touching me and like grabbing my boob and stuff. So that was like, I don't know, that was like the first time I noticed that.

1:23:18🔗 Adam And whose brother is this? Your mom's?

1:23:20🔗 Caller My mom's.

1:23:22🔗 Drew And why didn't you report this right away?

1:23:24🔗 Caller Well, I didn't think it was like anything really.

1:23:27🔗 Drew But when it did become something, why not?

1:23:30🔗 Caller I don't know. I don't know. I didn't know.

1:23:32🔗 Adam She was freaked out. And I'm one of those who freak her mom out.

1:23:34🔗 Drew Have you been victimized before?

1:23:37🔗 Caller No.

1:23:37🔗 Drew No way. Not in any way.

1:23:39🔗 Caller No.

1:23:39🔗 Drew Okay.

1:23:40🔗 Adam Now, I understand them not saying something like this.

1:23:44🔗 Drew Yeah, I understand. She's afraid of being misunderstood or being her problem or for having.

1:23:48🔗 Adam Not just, just, you know, kids don't want to freak their parents out for the most part, too.

1:23:53🔗 Drew What is it?

1:23:54🔗 Caller It's, my mom and him are so close, you know, and he's only got a relationship with her, you know.

1:24:01🔗 Drew Why?

1:24:02🔗 Adam Well, she helped up everyone.

1:24:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:04🔗 Caller He hated his dad for as long as I can remember. Then my grandpa died. So he did, and he doesn't talk to like anyone else.

1:24:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:14🔗 Caller And so me, like him and my mom are really close. So I wouldn't want to like, you know.

1:24:20🔗 Adam Yeah. You don't want to break that up.

1:24:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:22🔗 Adam Does, does he have kids?

1:24:24🔗 Caller No, he's single. Well, actually, he has a girlfriend who's, I think she just turned 20.

1:24:31🔗 Adam Oh, all right. Yeah. I would tell your mom, your mom deserves to know. And she really does.

1:24:40🔗 Drew But when she asked you why you don't want to see him anymore, you got to tell him.

1:24:43🔗 Adam Is this all he did? I mean, did he do other? Oh, no, no, no. He did a bunch of times.

1:24:47🔗 Caller No, no, no. Then two weeks ago, my mom, she doesn't trust me because I go out and I just, you know, sometimes I don't come home. So she's going out of town and she didn't want to leave me home alone. So she sent me to my uncle's.

1:25:01🔗 Caller This was like two weeks ago.

1:25:03🔗 Drew Did you go?

1:25:04🔗 Caller Yeah, I did go.

1:25:05🔗 Drew And what happened?

1:25:06🔗 Caller Well, like nothing actually. It was weird. He smoked me out.

1:25:14🔗 Adam What?

1:25:14🔗 Caller Weed?

1:25:16🔗 Adam What do you think? He lit some leaves and blew it at her until she left the house? She smoked out. We smoked out.

1:25:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:25🔗 Adam So you guys, you guys got stoned?

1:25:26🔗 Caller Yeah, we did.

1:25:27🔗 Caller Like really stoned.

1:25:29🔗 Adam And then what?

1:25:31🔗 Caller And then he wanted us to go on a jacuzzi. But I didn't have my bathing suit.

1:25:37🔗 Drew Who's us?

1:25:39🔗 Adam Me and him. Hey, Drew, what are you?

1:25:41🔗 Drew Well, I wonder if there were other people there, like other girlfriends or something.

1:25:43🔗 Caller No, that's the thing. He said that he was sending his girlfriend off because he wanted the time to spend with me.

1:25:49🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

1:25:51🔗 Caller But that's just like an uncle thing, you know?

1:25:53🔗 Drew This is no...

1:25:54🔗 Adam Oh, this guy. I swear to God, I'd be happier with him. He just raped you a couple of times. What? I really... So what happened? I like to like toke out and hit the jacuzzi and get rid of the girlfriends.

1:26:06🔗 Drew It swore me, yeah.

1:26:07🔗 Adam Oh, God.

1:26:08🔗 Drew So what happened in the jacuzzi?

1:26:10🔗 Caller Okay, well, I have to tell you first. I didn't have a bathing suit. So he let me borrow his girlfriends. And she's like 5'1, she's tiny. She's like a zero. And I'm like, I'm 5'7, and I weigh like 1'25. And so I was putting on this tiny little black bikini that he gave me. It was tiny, like the front, there was no, like barely, it was just like a little triangle.

1:26:37🔗 Caller We got it.

1:26:39🔗 Caller You know? And then, so we went in the jacuzzi.

1:26:44🔗 Caller Right.

1:26:44🔗 Caller And he was just like staring at me the whole time. Yeah. But that was it. Like it wasn't anything.

1:26:52🔗 Adam Okay. All right. But listen, Michelle, you know, at a certain point, I mean, you know the guy's rap, right?

1:26:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:59🔗 Adam I mean, I don't want to make this your fault, but you're talking out the guy and sitting in a jacuzzi with him.

1:27:05🔗 Caller He's my uncle.

1:27:06🔗 Adam He's your uncle.

1:27:08🔗 Drew You know what this guy's all about though? This is not just the fact that he gets high with you. Suggests shows what this guy's such an idiot.

1:27:17🔗 Adam I really wish I really would like this guy just to have a bullet put in his head.

1:27:21🔗 Caller Like he's a really good guy.

1:27:22🔗 Adam He's a great guy.

1:27:24🔗 Drew You don't understand, Michelle.

1:27:25🔗 Adam He's a piece of ass.

1:27:26🔗 Drew This guy, you've got to tell your mom.

1:27:28🔗 Caller No, I can't do that though.

1:27:30🔗 Drew Well then, do it, please.

1:27:31🔗 Adam Don't go over there.

1:27:32🔗 Drew All right, and here's what we need to call back on. Michelle, we'll call you back in a couple weeks. I want to know what happens with this, okay?

1:27:40🔗 Caller Well, I have one other.

1:27:42🔗 Adam No.

1:27:42🔗 Drew What is it?

1:27:43🔗 Caller Really, it's really serious. Quick. I'm kind of going, well, seeing this 23-year-old, he was my boss, and then he quit or whatever, and I quit, and so he is engaged, but we're still seeing each other.

1:27:59🔗 Drew Michelle, you are a mess.

1:28:01🔗 Caller No, I'm not.

1:28:01🔗 Drew You're a mess.

1:28:02🔗 Caller Yes, you are.

1:28:04🔗 Drew You are.

1:28:04🔗 Caller No, it's a simple question.

1:28:05🔗 Drew Well, first of all, you shouldn't be with a 23-year-old. You shouldn't be with someone who's engaged. You shouldn't be getting high with your uncle. You shouldn't be waltzing, you know, sort of off. You're like walking the plank when this guy tells you to.

1:28:17🔗 Adam Michelle, let me tell you something about your life. The things that seem normal and okay are not. Oh, no, you're used to them and they seem normal to you. You know, when you see some tribe eating goat balls or something and you start to wretch, that's what your life is. It's normal to the tribesmen. But if you ain't in that tribe, it's weird.

1:28:40🔗 Caller That's horrible.

1:28:42🔗 Drew Hold on a second. We're going to catch up with you in a couple of weeks and see what happens with you and this uncle. We're a new policy on Loveline. When there's interesting calls that we need to follow up on, we're going to check it out a few weeks down the line.

1:28:53🔗 Adam Guys like that are so profoundly effed up. They're worse than murderers. This guy is such a piece of work. This is your sister's.

1:29:03🔗 Drew 60 year old daughter.

1:29:04🔗 Adam For Christ's sake. By the way, and I know we're running late for break, but you know you're effed up. You have to be amazingly exquisitely effed up and here's why. Could you imagine risking that?

1:29:21🔗 Drew What? My sister that I'm so close with.

1:29:23🔗 Adam What I'm saying is, is I just saw my nephews yesterday.

1:29:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:27🔗 Adam Let's just say my sister's in the kitchen and me and the nephews are out back like playing around. Even if I wanted to put my thumb in their ass or yank them off or something, even if I wanted to, let's say I had a couple of beers I wanted to, I would be like, no way, because these kids are going to tell my sister and it's going to be like, oh my God, it's going to be like, that's going to be a bad time.

1:29:50🔗 Drew But you got to be a victimizer to know how the victim mind works and that's how these guys do it.

1:29:54🔗 Adam And you got to be seriously desperate.

1:29:57🔗 Drew That's the fact that you're a victimizer suggests how effed up you are.

1:30:01🔗 Adam All right. We'll take a little break.

1:30:02🔗 Caller We'll be back.

1:30:07🔗 We'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:30:41🔗 Caller Drew, that's good.

1:30:43🔗 Adam Phone number one. I forget it. Nellie Furtado will be in here. Nellie, see a good looking girl who falls from the tree in that video, right? She's like singing and falling and singing and falling.

1:30:56🔗 Drew Here's Lydia.

1:30:57🔗 Adam I like any videos where people are falling and singing and falling, like jumping off of stuff and flying and falling and singing.

1:31:04🔗 Drew Hey, we got about three minutes for this segment.

1:31:06🔗 Adam Singing and falling.

1:31:10🔗 Drew I'll tell you, I could fall and I could sing.

1:31:12🔗 Adam I don't know if I could sing and fall. I'm going to cut a Taboo 2 video. He's got it all. Lydia?

1:31:18🔗 Caller Hello?

1:31:18🔗 Adam You're 22.

1:31:20🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm on the radio?

1:31:21🔗 Adam Yes, baby.

1:31:22🔗 Caller Hi. I have a question about anal sex. Me and my boyfriend, we've been having sex for a while now. We've been together about two years. It's kind of like my first time and I just want to know like as far as what I could do to make it feel better because I never had it before.

1:31:39🔗 Drew Make it feel better for you?

1:31:40🔗 Caller Yeah, because I heard it hurts.

1:31:42🔗 Drew What?

1:31:43🔗 Caller Anal sex.

1:31:44🔗 Adam Drew, what's confusing about that?

1:31:47🔗 Drew I didn't hear the anal sex part.

1:31:49🔗 Adam Oh, really? You got to put some coke on your anus to numb it.

1:31:53🔗 Drew You've tried this and it didn't work? Is that the deal?

1:31:56🔗 Caller No, I haven't tried it yet. He wants to try it now. I mean, our sex life is great.

1:32:01🔗 Drew So this is, he's pushing this one on you, right?

1:32:03🔗 Caller No, he's not pushing it. He just asks me and I kind of want to do it too. Why?

1:32:07🔗 Drew Why do you want to do it?

1:32:08🔗 Caller Why? Yeah. It feels good.

1:32:12🔗 Adam She wants to check it out, Drew. Why is it always the guy? Just because it's always the guy? Is that the only evidence you have for it always being the guy? The fact that it's always the guy?

1:32:22🔗 Drew Lydia, given her own means, would not be coming up with this stuff.

1:32:27🔗 Adam Listen, there's a certain percentage of women out there.

1:32:31🔗 Drew That are into this. Yes, I understand.

1:32:33🔗 Adam That are into it and then a slightly larger percentage that just wants to check it out, sort of check it off the list a little. And even larger percentage that gets, has a foisted on them by their horny boyfriends. But you want to do it, right?

1:32:48🔗 Caller I want to try it out.

1:32:49🔗 Caller Yeah, you might like it.

1:32:52🔗 Adam Well, baby, you're not going to be laughing while he's cornhole in the army.

1:32:56🔗 Caller No, no.

1:32:57🔗 Adam It breaks your concentration.

1:32:59🔗 Caller Excuse me?

1:33:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:01🔗 Adam Is he going to wear a condom?

1:33:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:03🔗 Drew Good.

1:33:04🔗 Adam And plenty of lube?

1:33:06🔗 Caller I guess. Oh, yeah.

1:33:07🔗 Drew There you go.

1:33:08🔗 Adam Got some lube?

1:33:09🔗 Caller No, that's what I wanted to know. Like, what type would you use?

1:33:12🔗 Drew None. You don't want to use anything petroleum based. You want to use like KY or astroglides.

1:33:17🔗 Adam I mean, jelly can be good. Like what you put on a lamb chop.

1:33:20🔗 Caller OK.

1:33:21🔗 Caller All right, baby.

1:33:22🔗 Caller Can I send a shout out to him?

1:33:23🔗 Drew Little chutney.

1:33:25🔗 Adam I think you did send a shout out to him. You want you want to shout out to the anal dude?

1:33:31🔗 Caller No, can I just say to David, I love you.

1:33:33🔗 Adam No, you cannot. There's no no declarations of love on this show. Ernie? Thank you. Ernie, you're 23.

1:33:41🔗 Caller Yeah, that's correct.

1:33:42🔗 Adam You want to know about side effects from chronic masturbation?

1:33:46🔗 Caller That's correct. Well, I mean, for about 10 years ago, I haven't stopped since I was, I don't know, 12, 13.

1:33:58🔗 Drew Yeah, that's the most males.

1:33:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:00🔗 Drew And they don't stop till their heart stops.

1:34:03🔗 Caller Yeah, but the thing is, now, I still feel like worry. I think my last ball, sometimes when I really masturbate, like the fourth time, I hurt.

1:34:19🔗 Drew Well, yeah, I hold back on that fourth time.

1:34:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:22🔗 Adam Yeah. And also, some of you guys, take it from me, when people run marathons, they have that 20-mile barrier. You have to sort of break through.

1:34:31🔗 Drew No.

1:34:32🔗 Adam That can be the fourth masturbatory time.

1:34:34🔗 Drew You break on through, break through.

1:34:37🔗 Adam You keep going, you get to the seventh and eighth. It's not as hard as the fourth. See what I'm saying, Drew? I will take a break.

1:34:43🔗 Hello, this is your radio.

1:35:07🔗 Caller Well, that's it.

1:35:08🔗 Adam We proved ourselves one more time, haven't we, Drew?

1:35:10🔗 Caller We proved it, yeah.

1:35:12🔗 Adam We're going to take ourselves an extended 22-hour break over here. Nellie Furtado will be in here on Tuesday, and I'm looking forward to meeting her, because she sounds good, she looks good. Hot, hot, hot. Hot, hot, hot. Yeah. Maybe we'll do a little Ace Rockolla tomorrow night. Remind me of that there, Anderson Hole. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. I'd love to be gay.

1:35:38🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management sponsors for this station. I'm the producer for Loveline and welcome Steve Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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