Tuesday, February 6, 2001

0:52🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:12🔗 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Jay McGraw. Now, let me explain the show and the way it's going to work tonight. Dr. Drew is God knows where, anywhere but doing his job. That's his motto. At least this job. He may be working other jobs. Still getting paid for this job but getting paid for other jobs at the same time. That's a guy who ought to write a book.

1:35🔗 Drew That's right.

1:36🔗 Adam How to Rape the Man should be the name of Dr. Drew's book. Ten Easy Steps to Ripping Off Your Radio Programmer.

1:43🔗 Drew That's right.

1:44🔗 Voiceover All right. Jay McGraw. Let me give the phone number. 1-800-LOVE-191, Facts Number 310-840-4051. Jay McGraw authored Life Strategy for Teens and his father, Dr. McGraw, had written a bestseller book. What the hell is that thing called? Yes, Life Strategy. So you basically wrote the teen version of your father's bestseller.

2:10🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:10🔗 Adam Am I right?

2:10🔗 Drew That's right. He wrote the boring, long-winded adult version and I translated it.

2:16🔗 Adam Yes. I don't read. I believe it poisons the mind. But I understand there's a lot of people out there that do. And they're certainly reading this book because it's now 10 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller List.

2:28🔗 Drew It is. I guess somebody's reading.

2:29🔗 Adam Yeah. Is your dad proud or does he feel threatened?

2:33🔗 Drew I don't know. I hadn't asked him yet. I think he may feel a little threatened. He should.

2:37🔗 Adam What we're going to do tonight is we're going to obviously skip some of the medical problems because we do not have a physician here. Although after sitting here for five years, I'm practically a physician. So if one sneaks in, I feel confident. But what we're going to talk about is, well, this show is demographic. Teenagers basically are young folks, early twenties, people that are in a pivotal position in their life. They're at a fork in the road and Jay's going to help shed some light on some of that stuff. And what qualifies you to write a book like this, Jay?

3:13🔗 Drew Well, I always say it's growing up with my dad. He's, you know, they call him tell it like it is, Phil. I got to, I heard it a few times. So I feel like I've learned a lot that he helped me be successful and I feel like that helps me, but helps me to help qualify me at least.

3:28🔗 Adam And what messages are you putting forth basically in this book?

3:32🔗 Drew I think it's important for teenagers to realize that, you know, regardless of our age, because it's easy to think that we don't have any control of our lives because our parents and our teachers and our aunts and uncles, whatever it is, they're creating all these rules and it seems like we just have to follow them. But I think it's important for teenagers to realize that we do have a lot of power to control our own lives and at the same time get along with the authority figures so that we don't lose all of our freedom.

3:55🔗 Adam All right. So, and listen, I, wait a minute, I did write a book. That's right. It's about sad. I never wrote any books, but I got some advice. But you know what? I did write a book.

4:05🔗 Drew That's right.

4:05🔗 Adam I keep forgetting about that. I got to read that one day. But I do have a ton of advice. I was just sitting here yelling at producer Anne last night during a commercial. All the stuff. I'm going to write a book. 101 Reasons I Need to Kick My Dad in the Nuts. Because there's so many things I was never told, weren't discussed by either the family or the system or the counselors or the school or the peers. Just stuff about, for instance, career. Right. Here's my number one career tip. You better enjoy whatever it is you're doing. I know it sounds trite. I know it sounds cliche. But you're going to be doing it for about 50 years.

4:46🔗 Drew That's right.

4:47🔗 Adam And everyone talks about education. And everyone talks about picking an occupation as if you're spinning some big wheel. Do you want to be a doctor? You want to be a nurse? You want to be a lawyer? You want to be an astronaut? You want to be a fireman? Figure out what it is you like and do that.

5:00🔗 Drew That's right. You got to be passionate about something. I mean, parents always ask, how do I keep my kids off of drugs or whatever it is? It's like, you got to have a reason not to. I played basketball, so if somebody asked me to skip practice, I had a reason not to do that. You got to be excited about something. You got to be excited about what you're going to do in your life. Parents and teachers and all that. I mean, they're into the lecture. They say, oh, I've been there and I've done that. You need to listen to me because I know best. Well, maybe you know best, but you know what? I haven't been there and done that. I want to have some fun and I want to learn some things along the way.

5:31🔗 Adam How old are you, Jay?

5:32🔗 Drew I'm 21.

5:33🔗 Adam 21. How long have you had a fake ID? I don't have a fake ID.

5:39🔗 Drew I'm 21.

5:40🔗 Adam I know.

5:40🔗 Drew I've got a beard. I don't have a fake ID.

5:42🔗 Adam All right. Let's hop on the phones and I'll just go in order here. Luna?

5:49🔗 Hi.

5:49🔗 Adam You're 22.

5:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

5:51🔗 Adam What's up?

5:53🔗 Caller First of all, I'm in Chicago, so this would be a nice time for you to tell people who listen to your show a day late that the Man Show is on. But anyway, that's not really my problem.

6:02🔗 Adam Yeah, but the Man Show is on Sunday nights.

6:04🔗 Caller Not for, well, it's on Wednesday.

6:07🔗 Adam It repeats, I think.

6:09🔗 Okay, whatever.

6:09🔗 Adam All right. Thanks, baby.

6:11🔗 Caller Anyway, my problem is that I'm not able to go. I'm having a hard time getting over the fact that my boyfriend doesn't want to marry me.

6:20🔗 Uh-huh.

6:20🔗 Drew Is he still your boyfriend?

6:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:22🔗 Adam How long have you guys been together?

6:25🔗 Caller About eight months.

6:27🔗 Adam And why is it? What's the hurry? You're 22. You haven't even been together for a year.

6:32🔗 Caller It's not that it's a hurry. It's the fact that he's been married twice. And it's like not even an issue. Like if I bring it up, it's always like, oh yeah, I see myself with you for a long time. I'd love for us to be together. And like we're supposed to be moving in when both of our leases are up.

6:48🔗 How old is he?

6:49🔗 Drew How old is he?

6:51🔗 Caller 30.

6:51🔗 Adam He's been married twice, huh?

6:53🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Good find.

6:55🔗 Adam Yeah. Why do you want to marry a guy who's been married twice already? I mean, the chances are this one ain't going to last.

7:00🔗 Caller She was a horrible woman and she cheated on him. And the first one, he like married her right out of high school. So that doesn't even count.

7:06🔗 Adam Right. And then soon we'll be talking to him about why the third one didn't work out.

7:11🔗 Drew She was 22. And you know, I just.

7:14🔗 Adam Yeah. She kept calling this radio show.

7:16🔗 Caller It's like if he loves me so much and we're supposedly so perfect for each other.

7:20🔗 Adam But baby, listen, listen. Well, what's with the insecurities? You know what I mean? What do you mean? Why are you not good enough? You've been together for eight months. You're practically, I mean, still should be in college theoretically, or at least that age. What's the rush? Why is every, why you take everything so personally?

7:39🔗 Caller Because I do.

7:41🔗 Adam Why?

7:42🔗 Drew You know, if you want to do something about this, you have to realize that you're letting him get away with whatever he's doing. I mean, I'm not saying that it's a good idea to get married to him right now. I mean, who wants to marry someone that doesn't want to marry them?

7:54🔗 Caller I didn't say I want to marry him now, but I like it to be an issue. I like it to not be the, yeah, why don't we just live together for 20 years and why don't you give birth to five of my illegitimate children, but I'm never going to marry you, even though I did it twice before.

8:06🔗 Drew That's your decision to give birth to five of his illegitimate children.

8:09🔗 Adam Can you get that right? Hey, Luna.

8:11🔗 Caller Yeah?

8:12🔗 Adam Why are you so loony, Luna? What's up with you? Something's going on. I don't know. Why are you so insecure?

8:20🔗 Caller Because this is like the only nice guy I've ever been with, so I'd like to be with him.

8:25🔗 Drew Well, I'm sorry, but you're not wanting him to marry you. You're wanting him to accept you. You're wanting the feelings that you get from marrying him, and you can get those in a lot of ways. You don't even have to get him from him. And so figure out what it is that you're looking for by him marrying you and figure some other way that you can get that from another aspect of your life, because you don't want to marry some guy that doesn't want to marry you, especially not when you've been dating him for only eight months, and especially not at the age of 22.

8:48🔗 Adam Yeah. And everyone, stop using everyone to make themselves feel a certain way. You use drugs for that, right, Jay?

8:55🔗 Drew I don't advocate that.

8:56🔗 Adam Right. John?

8:58🔗 Yeah.

8:58🔗 Adam You're 16.

8:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

9:00🔗 Adam What's up?

9:00🔗 Caller Hey, what's up, Adam?

9:01🔗 Jay McGraw How you doing?

9:02🔗 Adam Good.

9:02🔗 All right.

9:03🔗 Jay McGraw I've been with this girl for about a month now.

9:06🔗 Every time we're out and making out, I'm at her house. I just can't get it up.

9:10🔗 I just can't get an erection.

9:12🔗 Adam How far have you gotten with her?

9:14🔗 About second base.

9:16🔗 Adam I see. What is that these days, anal sacs?

9:19🔗 Caller No.

9:20🔗 Caller Finger.

9:21🔗 Adam That's second base?

9:23🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah.

9:24🔗 Adam Holy Christ. No.

9:26🔗 Jay McGraw Well, second base.

9:27🔗 Adam Second base was copping a feel over the bronze sweater.

9:31🔗 That's first base. I thought.

9:33🔗 Adam You're talking about fingers is second base? Yeah. What's third, oral? Yeah. Then home, we know what home is?

9:41🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah. That's the question.

9:43🔗 Adam All right. They've moved the bases around a little.

9:46🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah.

9:46🔗 Drew You got to get your signs ready.

9:47🔗 Yeah.

9:49🔗 Adam All right. So, has your penis ever had this problem before?

9:53🔗 No, not really.

9:54🔗 Adam Does it work fine when you're on your own?

9:56🔗 Yeah.

9:57🔗 Adam Like when you're going to third base with yourself?

10:00🔗 Jay McGraw Oh, that doesn't usually happen.

10:01🔗 Adam Oh, no.

10:02🔗 Yeah.

10:02🔗 Adam You either go second or home. You don't go third. No. You run right over the pitcher's mound.

10:06🔗 Yeah.

10:07🔗 Adam All right. So, you're probably a little nervous around her.

10:11🔗 Caller I guess. I mean, I've done it before.

10:12🔗 Jay McGraw I've had sex too.

10:14🔗 Adam You on any medication or anything?

10:15🔗 Caller No.

10:16🔗 Drew Are you doing drugs?

10:17🔗 Adam No. You know, someone who's 16 is not on any medication, not doing any drugs. This is something emotional.

10:23🔗 Drew Are you like in her parents' bedroom?

10:25🔗 What?

10:25🔗 Drew Are you like in her parents' bedroom or something?

10:27🔗 Caller No.

10:27🔗 Her bedroom.

10:28🔗 Adam Is there a picture of Jesus up?

10:29🔗 No.

10:30🔗 Adam That can slow you down.

10:31🔗 Yeah.

10:32🔗 Adam Okay. That's why, by the way, if I ever have a little girl, I'm going to look into Jesus wallpaper. I don't know if they have that. It's a good invention. I may invent that.

10:42🔗 Drew That's right.

10:43🔗 Adam Yeah. Just on the ceiling.

10:44🔗 Drew If you're a rich man.

10:46🔗 Adam Not only... I'll have Jesus wallpaper going over the lamps, over the fixtures.

10:50🔗 Drew That's life strategies for parents. Jesus wallpaper. 250 pages of pictures of Jesus.

10:56🔗 Adam Right. Over the bed, you'll have like a 750-pound plaster of Paris life-size Jesus on the cross with anchor bolts to the ceiling.

11:05🔗 Drew You want to do what, John? Hang on. Let me ask the Almighty.

11:09🔗 Adam All right. All right. John.

11:11🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah.

11:12🔗 Adam This is a new relationship. Relatively new. I mean, you're a little spazzy. You're a little freaky.

11:17🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah. I mean, I do.

11:18🔗 Adam Your nerves are...

11:19🔗 Jay McGraw I've looked at marijuana, too. All right.

11:21🔗 Adam Well, why don't you... Maybe it does. Why don't you stop just to see if it makes a difference?

11:27🔗 Drew Hey, what was confusing about, hey, John, do you do drugs? No, just marijuana.

11:31🔗 Adam They don't count marijuana as drugs. It's an herb. I see. Yeah. All right, John.

11:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

11:37🔗 Adam Just relax, breathe deep, take it easy.

11:40🔗 It sounds like making out with her for like an hour and just...

11:43🔗 Adam Yeah, but you know what? You're putting the pressure on yourself.

11:46🔗 Yeah.

11:46🔗 Adam You're freaking yourself out.

11:47🔗 Yeah.

11:48🔗 Adam Don't move too fast. You got to get in that comfort zone with somebody. You know what I'm saying? I mean, you meet somebody, you move too fast, your penis doesn't go along with it, you get nervous, and once it shuts down, it shuts down, then your mind starts racing, now you're in horrible shape.

12:05🔗 Drew I gotcha. So this is like when you have an injury, it's like do what the body lets you?

12:09🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, no, yeah. Well, I'm just saying yeah, because I'm a good host. Yeah. I really have no idea what you're talking about.

12:15🔗 Drew Good.

12:15🔗 Adam No, I do. And I want to further it by saying, it's like if you go to bat, you're playing baseball, and you strike out your first two times at the plate, don't go back in the dugout and totally change everything and question everything and analyze everything, because now you're sure to strike out your third time.

12:34🔗 Drew All right.

12:35🔗 Adam Just relax, try to forget about the first two outings and make some contact.

12:39🔗 Drew Yeah, try to forget about that, John. It's no big deal.

12:42🔗 Adam I know. It's impossible. But you have to stay with this one person long enough in order to sort of get comfortable and work it out. And let's talk to another John who's 19. John?

12:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:54🔗 Adam What's up?

12:55🔗 Caller Nothing.

12:56🔗 Caller All right. I just want to say before we get started, like, you're my hero and you've got me in a lot of trouble with my mom.

13:04🔗 Adam Really?

13:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:06🔗 Adam What did you do?

13:07🔗 Caller Well, I repeat stuff that you say to her and she just gets mad.

13:11🔗 Adam Yeah. Don't do that. Stop? Yes. I don't repeat things I say outside of the studio.

13:18🔗 So it's all just an act you're telling me?

13:19🔗 Adam That's right.

13:21🔗 Caller All right.

13:22🔗 Adam I'm a short, black, gay man.

13:26🔗 Drew I'll vouch for that.

13:27🔗 Adam All right, John. What do you want?

13:29🔗 Caller All right. I have this friend and I wanted to turn into like a lover. I was wondering like how I should go about doing such.

13:37🔗 Adam What are you doing right now, John?

13:39🔗 I'm at work.

13:40🔗 Adam Where do you work?

13:41🔗 Caller At bowling alley.

13:43🔗 Adam Really? Yeah. Are you a pin monkey?

13:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:47🔗 Adam No, you're not. What are you doing right now?

13:51🔗 Drew Do you disinfect the shoes?

13:52🔗 Caller No. Well, I don't clean the shoes. I fix the machines.

13:55🔗 Adam I see. All right, John, is this a male or a female?

13:59🔗 Caller It's a female.

14:01🔗 Adam Okay. Just want to make sure. Yeah. You want to sort of take her and convert her from friend to lover?

14:09🔗 Caller Yeah, exactly.

14:10🔗 Adam And girlfriend, right?

14:11🔗 Legally.

14:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:13🔗 Adam Right. And is that the sound of pins being knocked down?

14:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:20🔗 Adam Do you have a phone behind the pins?

14:23🔗 Drew It's the only place he can hide from his boss.

14:25🔗 Adam Exactly. Are you on a cell phone in a bowling alley behind pins?

14:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:30🔗 Adam Oh, my God. All right. So, hey, John?

14:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:35🔗 Adam You need to ask her out.

14:38🔗 Caller Just ask her?

14:39🔗 Adam That's it. She'll know what you're talking about. How long have you been friends with her?

14:43🔗 Caller Like two years.

14:45🔗 Adam And do you think she has any interest in you whatsoever?

14:49🔗 Caller Yeah, I think she does.

14:51🔗 Adam Why?

14:53🔗 Caller She shows me her boobs all the time.

14:55🔗 Adam All right. Well, that's love. Ask her out on a date.

14:58🔗 Caller All right.

14:59🔗 Adam And kiss her at the end of the date.

15:01🔗 Caller All right.

15:02🔗 Adam At least try to kiss her, right?

15:04🔗 Caller Well, I plan on doing more than just kissing her. Yeah.

15:07🔗 Drew I'm going to ease my way into this, John.

15:09🔗 Adam Yeah. John, you're a pretty confident guy who's asking for advice.

15:12🔗 Drew It's like, should I? How do I make her a lover? I plan to do a little more than kissing her. It's like you got your already got your mind made up. Yeah.

15:19🔗 Adam First date. Just slow down.

15:22🔗 Caller All right. Slow down.

15:23🔗 Adam All right, John. Jesus. This guy gives me a headache.

15:27🔗 Drew It's the pens.

15:29🔗 Adam I know they must wreak havoc with your mind. Just sitting back there hearing pins fall. He must when he closes his eyes, you must hear pins fall.

15:37🔗 Drew Incoming.

15:39🔗 Adam He's like shell shocks. OK. A Vietnam veteran.

15:42🔗 Drew Just don't take it to the bowling alley, John.

15:45🔗 Adam Scott.

15:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:46🔗 Adam You're 15.

15:47🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

15:48🔗 Adam What's up?

15:49🔗 Caller Hey, Adam, you're a stud.

15:51🔗 Adam Well, thanks.

15:52🔗 Caller What's it called? Every time I get oral sex, I can't ejaculate.

15:57🔗 Adam I see. Well, you got to turn your penis in.

16:02🔗 Caller No, like when I like during sex or on my own, it's fine. But when something happens, like, I don't know.

16:09🔗 Adam Yeah. That's not your thing, the oral sex. That's how it works with some guys.

16:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:15🔗 Adam Yeah. I was. I had a conversation with Drew about this once recently. I can't remember if it was on the air or not. So I'll just go ahead and repeat it, which is some guys are into oral sex. Some guys aren't into oral sex. And there's really not much you can do to change that. All guys enjoy oral sex. It's just it doesn't flip everyone's cookie. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it just doesn't flip your cookie.

16:43🔗 Caller But like on her, it does.

16:45🔗 Adam It flips her cookie to give you oral sex?

16:48🔗 No. When I give oral sex on her. Like it does.

16:53🔗 Adam Yeah. She likes oral sex on you. I mean, she likes you giving her oral sex.

16:59🔗 Caller I do, too.

17:00🔗 Adam You like giving it to her?

17:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:02🔗 Adam Okay, good. Give her oral sex and then mount up.

17:06🔗 Caller All right.

17:07🔗 Adam All right.

17:07🔗 Caller All right.

17:08🔗 Adam Thanks, Adam. It's like a romper room for for retarded teenagers. I don't like oral sex. Okay. Here's a clue. She likes oral sex. All right. I like giving her oral sex. Okay. Let me grab my scratch pad. See, I like intercourse. Okay. All right. Hold on there, Rock-O-Man.

17:29🔗 Drew John, get a chalkboard.

17:30🔗 Adam You then give her oral sex. Uh-huh. And when you're done giving oral sex, have intercourse. Fantastic. Enjoy, everybody. Listen, guys, I know a lot of you are freaked out because men claim to enjoy oral sex so much and there's some that don't. Well, hold on a second. Jay's pointing something, screwing with me. What's up?

17:51🔗 Drew I think he was 15.

17:53🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

17:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

17:54🔗 Adam Get used to it.

17:55🔗 Drew He's asking. He's asking.

17:56🔗 Adam You're saying that's a little old?

17:57🔗 Drew Yeah, you know. It's like, geez, he figured he'd work that out by now.

18:02🔗 Adam All right. Well, he sounded like he was in his 30s. Listen, not all guys love oral sex. All guys like oral sex, but only a few of us love it. Jane?

18:10🔗 Hi.

18:10🔗 Adam You're 24.

18:11🔗 Caller What's up? Well, I want some advice on... I have a good male friend, one of my best friends in the world, who's planning to get married and I think it's a very bad idea. Most of his friends who I've spoken to about it think it's a bad idea, but everyone's sort of too scared to approach him. They think he's going to get angry. And I just... I'm starting to feel like they're planning the wedding for late May of this year and they have hardly made any plans at all. It's sort of like... It seems like neither of them are really that into it and they're both very unhappy. You can tell when you hang out with them. They're treating each other very badly. They're fighting all the time.

18:54🔗 Adam Maybe they're just practicing for marriage.

18:56🔗 Caller Well, that's what I'm worried about.

18:58🔗 Adam It's not a bad idea to get a jump on it, you know? So it's not such a tough transition once you're actually married. Well, Jane, what's in it for you?

19:07🔗 Drew Yeah, don't take on your friend's problems or go crazy.

19:09🔗 Just worry about yourself.

19:10🔗 Caller Well, he is... He's just somebody that I would like to see. I don't know her very well. I don't like her very well either. She's not...

19:18🔗 Drew But you hate her.

19:20🔗 Adam Right.

19:20🔗 Caller In fact, I think she's hard.

19:22🔗 Adam Well...

19:23🔗 Caller She's not someone I would get to know without having met her through him. And I am worried that he will be miserable and he will be a miserable friend then.

19:32🔗 Adam Well, what's in it? All right. I understand that. Do you have any interest in this guy?

19:38🔗 Caller Well, I don't know.

19:39🔗 Drew Yeah, she does.

19:40🔗 Adam That was a big B.

19:42🔗 Drew Listen to resounding no.

19:43🔗 Adam You ask any of my girlfriends, are you at all attracted to a... No, I didn't get my whole name out. No, why? No.

19:52🔗 Caller I'm not attracted to him.

19:53🔗 Drew Need I explain?

19:54🔗 Adam You gave a big long B.

19:56🔗 Caller Listen, Adam, it's more like a sibling relationship, almost him and I. Yeah.

20:00🔗 Adam Well, you listen to the show. A lot of siblings have sex on the show.

20:04🔗 No, no, no.

20:05🔗 Adam Listen, who are you kidding? You're interested in the guy. I mean, I just asked you if you had any attraction to the guy. You gave a good like five count and then sort of in a weak voice you said, no. Of course you have some interest in the guy. Why can't you admit that?

20:21🔗 Caller Okay, I have some interest in the guy, but I'm not... At this point, I'm more worried about, you know, how to approach him about the way he's... I'm mostly... I'm losing interest in him by watching the way he treats this woman, too.

20:34🔗 Drew Good thing he's getting married.

20:37🔗 Adam Jane, Jane, you need to confront him. You need to say, listen, if you marry this woman, it's over between us.

20:45🔗 Caller Well, what's the way to approach someone about that, you know?

20:49🔗 Adam Well, listen, Jane, first... Okay, here's what you have to do. First thing. First is, you have to get realistic about your motivation. Now, I'm sure you care about the guy as a friend, and I'm sure you're worried about him making a mistake as a friend, but you also have to admit that you have some interest in him.

21:05🔗 Caller I'm also worried about losing the chance to see if anything could happen between you and him.

21:10🔗 Adam Right, so you have an ulterior motive.

21:13🔗 Drew Why did you wait till he was engaged to decide you wanted to take him out?

21:18🔗 Caller Good planning.

21:19🔗 Adam Have you guys ever had anything?

21:22🔗 Caller No. No, he used to want to when we first met and were first becoming friends, and I refused. I said, no, absolutely not.

21:29🔗 Adam Oh, sure, yeah, you're no dummy.

21:31🔗 Caller Well.

21:32🔗 Adam Hurry up and marry him off. Well, why not? Why? No, absolutely not.

21:39🔗 Caller Why initially?

21:40🔗 Drew If they're so bad for each other, let them get married in a couple of months, you can have your shot at him.

21:44🔗 Adam No, no, seriously, I want to know the answer to this question, Jay.

21:47🔗 Caller Tell me the question again.

21:48🔗 Adam Well, you just said when you first met, he wanted to go out with you.

21:53🔗 Drew Well, okay.

21:54🔗 Adam You said no, absolutely not.

21:56🔗 Caller When I first met him, I was in a relationship with someone, albeit a terrible relationship, but that was my initial reasoning. But I think part of it was that I sort of sensed that I didn't want to just get into a sexual thing with him because we were becoming very close friends. And I'm working on not ruining friendships with people by sleeping with them if they're men.

22:18🔗 Adam Right. Me too. But that's just my guy friends. That's my policy. So far, it's working.

22:23🔗 Caller I wish you well on that, Adam.

22:25🔗 Adam I've blown a few dudes, lost a few friends. I'm not going to make that mistake again. All right. Hey, Jane. Yeah. I'll tell you. See, this is tough because you have a motive. So you're kind of the wrong person to be analyzing this.

22:40🔗 Caller I know.

22:41🔗 Adam Situation.

22:42🔗 Caller That's why I don't know how to approach him. And nobody else that I know that knows him.

22:47🔗 Adam I'll tell you, Jane, here's what I say.

22:50🔗 Caller What do you say?

22:50🔗 Adam At the risk of really living dangerously, you get one balls out letter to him. One letter where you say how you feel about him, where you say what you feel about her and their marriage, where you say what you feel about the future, and that's it. He can respond to it. He can throw it away. He can take you up on it. He can do whatever he wants. You get one good letter.

23:14🔗 Drew So kind of like a, hey, I feel like this is a really bad marriage for you. Oh, and by the way, what's going on on Valentine's?

23:20🔗 Adam I think you're hot. Yeah. No more than 20 pages. And whatever you do, do not let her find this letter. I don't care if you have to weld it into the inside of his truck fender. Do not do the kind of thing where you just sit. She will find it and he will leave it around. Guys are really stupid that way. Or they do it sometimes as sabotage things. So they find it. So the relationship ends. Anyway, Jane is not being realistic. Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. He is the author of Life Strategy for Teens. He has some good insights and Dr. Drew will be back tomorrow night. So it's just me and Jay tonight and we will be back after this.

24:01🔗 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-1-91, we'll be right back.

24:05🔗 Caller Tonight, Loveline is brought to you by Car Toys on 947NRK, the New Rock Alternative.

24:39🔗 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla, that is Jay McGraw. Now, let me explain if you missed the top of the show. Dr. Drew is anywhere but here. That's his new motto. He'll be back tomorrow night, God willing, with the lovely and talented Kathy Griffin will be in here. The big loudmouth redhead will be in here tomorrow night. She's a good friend of mine. Well, no, actually, she's a friend of mine, but if you know someone who's in showbiz, they're good friends of yours, because everyone says people are friends and they don't even really know each other that well.

25:14🔗 Drew So if you even know them, they're good friends.

25:17🔗 Adam Right, if you actually, see, if you have met the person once in show business, they're a friend of yours, and if you're actually friends with them, then they get bumped up to good friends.

25:28🔗 Drew I got you.

25:28🔗 Adam So Kathy Griffin is a good friend of mine. As a matter of fact, I'm going to her wedding in a week and a half or something, so we'll talk to her about that. And she'll be in tomorrow night with Dr. Drew. Tonight, Jay McGraw is here. He has authored Life Strategies for Teens. It is on the New York Times. It's his best seller list. Ten weeks running, his father's Dr. Phil McGraw, who wrote the First Life Strategies book, but that's for old farts. This one is for young farts. And let's hop back on the phones and speak to Lynn. Lynn?

26:02🔗 Yeah.

26:03🔗 Adam You're 14.

26:04🔗 Caller No, I'm 24.

26:05🔗 Adam Oh, you're 24. Well, it's a typo.

26:07🔗 Caller What's up?

26:09🔗 Caller Okay. Go ahead. I'm going through some really bad depression right now. And I have a really good way of hiding it. And I don't know how to deal with it. In March, I lost my grandfather. A day later, I lost my father. And then in June, I lost my baby brother.

26:28🔗 Adam How old was your baby brother?

26:30🔗 Caller Well, he was 19. He wasn't really my baby brother.

26:34🔗 Adam No, no, I know what you mean. No, your younger brother.

26:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:38🔗 Adam And that was all within like a few months' span.

26:41🔗 Caller This was all, this all happened last March.

26:44🔗 Adam How did your dad die?

26:46🔗 Caller You know what? We are still not sure of that. He died in his sleep.

26:50🔗 Adam Oh, so he went just in natural causes or your mom hit him with a lamp?

26:55🔗 Caller No. I just keep thinking in my head he went because he couldn't deal without his father, which my grandfather died. And then 24 hours later, my father died.

27:05🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, you do hear about that. I mean people's spouses dying and they die or even people retiring and they die.

27:12🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah.

27:13🔗 Adam So he died in his sleep. And then what happened to your little brother?

27:16🔗 Caller He was hiking and he fell 85 feet.

27:19🔗 Adam Oh boy.

27:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:20🔗 Adam All right. So that's a lot of death in a short period of time.

27:23🔗 Caller A lot.

27:24🔗 Adam All right. Did you get any counseling?

27:26🔗 Caller You know what? I've tried and it just doesn't seem to help. I mean, the couple of people that I've went to are just, basically, I went to a hospice because that's what they offered us for free because I didn't have any insurance at the time.

27:38🔗 Adam A hospice?

27:40🔗 Caller Yeah. The hospice that they offered it to me.

27:43🔗 Adam Well, in a hospice where people go to die, basically?

27:47🔗 Caller Well, I mean, they have counseling. I mean, the hospice people took care of myself.

27:51🔗 Drew You're like, wrong side of the deal here.

27:53🔗 Adam You're sitting on some AIDS patient talking to a counselor while he's sleeping. I mean, I don't know. All right.

27:59🔗 Caller I hide it and I don't let any of my friends know. I don't let my family know. But I am like so torn up inside.

28:05🔗 Jay McGraw I don't even. Well, I mean, I'm totally deconstructive.

28:09🔗 Caller I mean, what's the word? And I party constantly.

28:13🔗 Adam I see.

28:13🔗 Caller Constantly drinking, constantly going out partying.

28:15🔗 Adam Right.

28:16🔗 Drew How's that working for you? Well, I mean, well, I mean, how is like sitting around? I understand your grief and I'm sorry about that. But how is it working for you to be upset and depressed about something that's already happened all the time? I mean, that's not any fun.

28:31🔗 Jay McGraw No, it's not.

28:32🔗 Caller And I just, I can't bring myself out of it.

28:35🔗 Adam Well, okay. Who do you have in your life? What about your mom?

28:38🔗 Jay McGraw I have my mom.

28:40🔗 Adam And any boyfriends?

28:42🔗 Caller No.

28:42🔗 Adam No. What's the matter with the boyfriend?

28:45🔗 Caller Oh, they're just, boys are weird.

28:48🔗 Adam Oh really?

28:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:50🔗 Adam Why are you freaked out with guys? Any girlfriends?

28:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:53🔗 Adam No. Are you all right with guys or are you freaked out by guys?

28:55🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm fine. I just, just right now, I don't know. I don't even want one right now.

29:00🔗 Adam All right. Okay. Let me give a little, give you a little speech here since we're talking about life lessons. I've had plenty of depression in my life. And, you know, I came to realize at a certain point that you don't feel good all the time. I mean, you're supposed to be depressed. You're supposed to be really depressed right now based on what's happened to you. You know, you lost three key players in your life. That's a horrible time. And if you weren't depressed during this period, you wouldn't be human. So it's okay to be depressed. But what's not okay is to kind of pretend like you're not depressed and try to, you know, numb yourself with alcohol or drugs or loud music or whatever. Now, you should experience these feelings. But it is an opportunity to do some work because everything's opened up. You know, the wounds are open and they're painful. Before they scab over and scar over, you got to get into some counseling. I mean, just use this period. I mean, use it to reflect, use it to get counseling, you know, go on walks, you know, give yourselves. I mean, use it for thought. Use it for reflection and thought. But it's not going to be a great time in your life. I mean, there's no way you're going to look back at the year you lost three of your family members and say, hey, that was a pretty good time.

30:14🔗 Drew Good year of my life. But you have to realize, I mean, being upset and grieving over the loss of your family members is certainly logical and understandable. But in a lot of situations when somebody says, oh, I'm so depressed and I have been for so long, it's just an excuse to not go out and try something again because you think you're going to get hurt again. And so you have to realize that you're strong enough and you're mature enough to take a risk again and risk being hurt again. I mean, but you have to believe in yourself and you have to do it slowly. And I mean, I'm sorry, but I don't think that your grandfather, your father or your brother would want you sitting around crying and partying all the time. That's not what they had in mind, but you have to trust yourself to take steps out of the depression.

30:55🔗 Adam I hate to interrupt, but the brother does want her to drink. He's a young guy.

30:58🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, you don't want you to cry.

31:00🔗 Adam Yeah, no, he just wants her to get loaded. But the dad and the grandfather certainly don't.

31:04🔗 Drew Probably not.

31:05🔗 Adam Jamie?

31:06🔗 Drew Hi.

31:06🔗 Adam You're 16. What's up?

31:08🔗 Caller Yeah, okay. I have a 27-year-old cousin, and I just met him for the first time this summer. We hung out and everything was cool. A couple of weeks ago, he called me up and he's like, hey, and he's like, he's like totally drunk and he's like, I just want you to know that I totally like you. He kept asking me, like, where are you at?

31:27🔗 Caller Are you in your room?

31:28🔗 Caller And all this stuff. And I'm all freaked out because I think he's like, he's like, I really like you.

31:32🔗 Caller You don't understand.

31:33🔗 Caller I don't know what I'm trying to say.

31:34🔗 Drew And I was like, I'm calling long distance from Arkansas, I'm sure.

31:39🔗 Adam You know, where is he calling from?

31:40🔗 Caller He's calling from San Diego.

31:42🔗 Adam I see. That's Arkansas South.

31:46🔗 Drew Well, you absolutely have to teach your teacher.

31:48🔗 Adam From LA., be west from Arkansas. But go ahead.

31:52🔗 Drew You absolutely have to teach your cousin, you know, life law number eight in my book says that you teach people how to treat you. You absolutely have to teach him that it's not OK to treat you like that. That's not normal. It's not OK. It's not acceptable and you have to set it down immediately before it gets too involved and too out of control. You have to tell him and prove to him that that's not going to fly around here.

32:14🔗 Caller Well, what do I say? Because I mean, what if I'm wrong?

32:15🔗 Caller What if like he's not hitting on me?

32:17🔗 Adam Oh, listen, if you got that creepy vibe, he's hitting on you.

32:23🔗 Drew Oh, I like you so much. I wonder if he's hitting on me.

32:26🔗 Adam He's hitting on you. But here's the deal. How often are you going to see this guy?

32:31🔗 Caller I don't know. He just like he just moved to like Pittsburgh.

32:36🔗 Drew So once every 27 years or so.

32:38🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, you did. You made it 27. Well, you made it 16 years without seeing him. Yeah, he made it 27, although technically 11 of those, you weren't on the earth. So it doesn't really count. But listen, Jamie, here's what here's what I'm saying. I don't I don't want to go against Jay's advice. And his advice is right on paper. But realistically, you're 16. You're a goofy girl. You're not going to call him up and straighten him out. Just avoid, you know, you're not going to talk to the guy. Just don't talk to him.

33:06🔗 Drew When he calls, you have to tell him.

33:08🔗 Adam Yeah, if he calls, just get off the phone with him. Yeah, I don't think you need. Here's all I'm saying. It's tough for people, especially young girls, sometimes to call people out. Do you know what I mean? To really confront them. Right. But it's real easy, because I've had women do this to me a thousand times. You call up, and it's like, hey, hello. And they're like, hello, this is your pervert. Where am I now? Pittsburgh? San Diego? I don't know. And you just go, hey, listen, I'm just heading out the door. I'm just going to cheerleading. They don't say cheerleading prize. I'm just going to do nun practice. And I got to fly. I'll call you later. And you just hang up. Don't call him back. And then he'll call back like two months later, drunk again. And you go, oh, hey, my mom's out in the drive. She's hung in the door. She wants me to help the grocers. Let me give you a call back. And you just don't call him back. And eventually they just they get it.

34:00🔗 Drew That's exactly what I'm saying. You have to teach him that it's not going to work.

34:02🔗 Adam You have to train him.

34:03🔗 Drew I'm not saying you have to go over to him and say, hey, now, I don't like the way you're talking to me. And I'd appreciate it if you stopped. Just don't answer the phone. Don't talk to him. Teach him. He can't call you and talk like that.

34:12🔗 Adam All right. That's good. Guys, he's all class. He gets loaded and calls his 16-year-old cousin. Chris? Hey. By the way, that's a real good sign your life isn't turning out the way you'd like when you get loaded from Pittsburgh and call your 16-year-old cousin in Sacramento. Where you were? Hold on. Put Nanny and Papi on.

34:33🔗 Caller Let me talk to them. Hi.

34:34🔗 Adam How you doing? How's it going?

34:35🔗 Caller I can put it back on. Where you were?

34:38🔗 Adam All right, Chris. What's up?

34:39🔗 Caller Hey. I'd just like to say, Adam, you are my savior.

34:42🔗 Adam Oh, thanks. Yeah, that's true. Thanks.

34:44🔗 Caller Okay. Well, here's my question. This may sound a little dorky, but last week I was at a science fiction convention, and I was walking around and all of a sudden, this guy comes up to me and starts hitting on me. But the thing is, he was 21 and I'm 15. I'm gay, but I didn't know if I wanted to pursue this or not, because I was thinking there was such a big age difference. So we got to talking and we got to know each other pretty well.

35:17🔗 Adam And was he dressed as a Klingon or a Tribble or?

35:22🔗 Caller I don't know if you're familiar with it, but he was dressed as a furry.

35:28🔗 Hold on.

35:30🔗 Adam Did you say fairy?

35:32🔗 Caller Furry.

35:32🔗 Adam Furry.

35:33🔗 Caller Yeah. It's anthropomorphic animals.

35:35🔗 Adam I see.

35:36🔗 Caller Yeah, it's kind of complicated.

35:37🔗 Adam Yeah, it is. It's way too complicated. I can't figure out my VCR. I'm not going to one of these conventions and hooking up with some furball. All right, but anyway, so they... What was a furry wear, by the way?

35:53🔗 Caller Oh, um...

35:54🔗 Adam Fur?

35:55🔗 Caller Imagine people at theme parks.

35:56🔗 Drew No, no, please. Just tell me what he wears.

35:58🔗 Adam I want to know what he's wearing, yeah.

36:01🔗 Caller Basically a big dog suit.

36:03🔗 Adam I see.

36:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:05🔗 Drew Now I understand the attraction.

36:07🔗 Adam Okay.

36:08🔗 Caller So he's...

36:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

36:10🔗 Caller So we got to know each other, and then on Super Bowl Sunday, we went back to his room, because he said he was tired. Stupid me, I followed him. And we kind of did something that he could get in trouble for, I guess you could say.

36:28🔗 Adam You watched him lick his balls? What is he, was he...

36:33🔗 Drew Watching the game, were you?

36:34🔗 Adam Was he in the fur outfit then?

36:36🔗 Caller Uh, no, no.

36:37🔗 Adam No.

36:37🔗 He was out of it.

36:38🔗 Adam You guys weren't watching the Super Bowl, were you?

36:40🔗 Caller Uh, no.

36:41🔗 Adam No, I knew it.

36:42🔗 Drew It's a landmark in time, it's not an actual event.

36:45🔗 Caller Yes.

36:45🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Chris? We gotta take a break.

36:48🔗 Caller Okay.

36:49🔗 Adam All right, we're gonna make a little funny when we come back.

36:52🔗 Caller Okay.

36:52🔗 Adam But then we're gonna solve your problem, all right?

36:54🔗 Caller Okay.

36:54🔗 Adam All right, yeah. You know, it's funny, he said, after the Super Bowl or during the Super Bowl, but my mind, my spidey sense started tingling. I said, listen, these nerd balls are going to these science conventions. They certainly ain't watching the Super Bowl. And I thought, even though he mentioned Super Bowl or Super Sunday or whatever it was, I knew he wasn't watching.

37:13🔗 Drew They were watching for the mascots.

37:15🔗 Caller Sure enough.

37:16🔗 Adam All right. Everyone's getting into the act tonight. Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. He's a author of Teen Strategies and we will, I'm sorry, Life Strategies for Teens. We will take ourselves a little break. We'll get back with 15 year old, what the hell happened to him? Did he just drop off? That son of a bitch. All right, we'll sort this out. We'll be back.

37:39🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

37:45🔗 Don't you dare go away. Loveline will be right back with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew right here on the New Rock Alternative.

37:52🔗 Caller 94.7 NRK.

38:06🔗 Caller N-R-K.

38:15🔗 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that's Jay McGraw. Jay McGraw is filling in for Dr. Who tonight. I can't remember that dude's name. I think it's, start with a D, let's see. David, Drew, Drew, Drew, there you go. Dr. Drew, he'll be in allegedly tomorrow night and Thursday night, so two nights in a row, everybody. Also, Kathy Griffin, a very, very, very good, close personal friend of mine will be in. She is the wacky redhead. You know her from Suddenly Susan and I think I hosted the Billboard Awards with her.

38:51🔗 Drew Is that?

38:52🔗 Adam No, that wasn't the Billboard Awards. That was the, something to start with a B. I can't remember what it was.

38:57🔗 Drew An award show.

38:58🔗 Adam What is award shows? Yeah. No, not Blockbuster. No, it was Billboard. That's right. The Billboard Awards, she hosted them last year with like InSync and I did the year before with her. But anyway, she's real funny. She'll be in it tomorrow night with Dr. Drew. Jay McGraw is a author, a young author. He did Life Strategy for Teens. It's 10 weeks now on the New York Times Best Seller List. When we left off, we were talking to the young guy who had a little run-in with a guy who was dressed as a koala bear. It's some science fair. But we got our lines crossed and we hung up on him by mistake. And if he's out there, he can call us back. I don't know if he'll get through. But I really do want to talk to you again. And until then, we'll talk to Trevor's 22.

39:49🔗 Jay McGraw Trevor?

39:51🔗 Adam What's up?

39:51🔗 Caller Actually, it's Travis.

39:52🔗 Adam Travis?

39:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:54🔗 Adam All right. Sarah, come over there and put an M-80 in your ass. You keep doing this thing. Yes. Thank you. Go ahead, Travis.

40:02🔗 Caller What's up?

40:05🔗 Caller Actually, I made up my question. I just wanted to tell you guys that, Adam, you're hilarious. And Dr. Drew, I know that an old lady dropped a roll of nickels at an Indian casino in Kansas, and he went over there to pick him up, but he's cool, too.

40:18🔗 Adam Yes, he is when he's here. Yes.

40:20🔗 Drew Thanks.

40:22🔗 Caller So enough of the compliments. I got a couple of criticisms.

40:26🔗 Drew Turn him off. Turn him off.

40:28🔗 Adam No. God, this is the best part of the show. Go ahead.

40:30🔗 Caller No, it's not you guys. Your new program director is a moron because the show is a lot funnier when Anderson was dropping in those little clips.

40:37🔗 Adam Yeah, I missed that myself. But he's not our new program director. He's just our old one. What's that?

40:44🔗 Caller Yeah, I think you guys need to upgrade.

40:46🔗 Adam All right.

40:47🔗 Caller And your phone screener is kind of a bitch.

40:49🔗 Adam All right.

40:50🔗 Caller But yeah, other than that, you guys are doing a great job. Other than that.

40:53🔗 Adam Thank you. Listen, say whatever you want about this show as long as you don't critique me. I have no problem with that.

40:58🔗 Caller No, you're you're awesome.

40:59🔗 Adam Thanks, Travis.

41:00🔗 Caller No problem.

41:01🔗 Adam All right, buddy. Good times. All right. Let's talk to Nathan, who's 16. Nathan.

41:07🔗 Caller Hey, what's up, Adam?

41:08🔗 Adam How are you doing?

41:09🔗 Caller Pretty good.

41:10🔗 Jay McGraw I kind of made up my question like the other guy.

41:12🔗 Adam Nice.

41:14🔗 Caller What's up?

41:14🔗 Adam It's just two in a row, you know.

41:17🔗 Caller Yeah, that's right.

41:18🔗 Jay McGraw But my actual real question is that my girlfriend, every time I try to get intimate with her, like BO just I can't stand her BO.

41:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:27🔗 Adam You didn't have to make one up to get that question on the air. And by the way, everybody who calls this show and makes up a question just hold on a second. I don't read the questions. Drew usually reads the questions. I just sit here and punch the buttons. So I don't know what's on there. So you don't have to tell me you made it up.

41:45🔗 Jay McGraw I didn't make it up though.

41:46🔗 Adam We didn't make up the BO question.

41:48🔗 Jay McGraw No.

41:48🔗 Adam Right. I'm just saying, remember the convert part of the conversation many years ago when you're telling me you made up a question to get on the air.

41:56🔗 Caller No.

41:57🔗 Drew Don't worry about the BO then. You can't even remember it.

42:00🔗 Jay McGraw What?

42:01🔗 Adam Nathan.

42:02🔗 Drew Didn't you say that you made up the question like the last guy?

42:05🔗 Jay McGraw No. I made up my question to make you guys pick me first. Right. Make it better.

42:11🔗 Adam That's what I'm referring to, buddy. That's exactly what I'm talking about. You sure you don't have a pot question too?

42:17🔗 Caller No.

42:18🔗 Jay McGraw I'm sorry about that one.

42:19🔗 Adam Okay. Your girlfriend has BO.

42:21🔗 Jay McGraw Yes.

42:22🔗 Adam Where is it coming from?

42:23🔗 Caller Her armpits probably.

42:25🔗 Adam I see. Yeah.

42:27🔗 Drew Is she American?

42:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:29🔗 Adam Is this all the time?

42:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:31🔗 Jay McGraw Not really, but just like when I get really close to her every time, I mean, yeah, pretty much.

42:37🔗 Adam Is this when you're being intimate?

42:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:39🔗 Drew Is she trying to tell you something?

42:41🔗 Jay McGraw What?

42:41🔗 Drew Is she trying to tell you something?

42:43🔗 Jay McGraw I don't think so. I mean, I don't know exactly what to do. Do I just hand her like a stick of like an extreme deodorant or what?

42:52🔗 Adam Well, wait till you get the sex and then start delving out the deodorant. Oh, listen, here's the deal. Some people work up a certain scent when they're in the mood, when they're being intimate. It's an extra kind of thing that's going on. Maybe more hormones, more secretions. I don't know what the biology is. But certain people, when they're being intimate, work up a little more BO than they would normally. That may be her. Or does she smell when you're not being intimate?

43:26🔗 Jay McGraw Well, not really. I mean, I don't really notice it that much.

43:29🔗 Adam How's her hygiene?

43:31🔗 Jay McGraw Pretty good.

43:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:33🔗 Adam Sunday night. Sunday night's bath night. She sticks with that pretty good?

43:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:40🔗 Adam I'll tell you, I don't know too many ways around this one. I mean, you can either tell her or you can take some of that Vicks Vaporub and put it under your nose. I mean, that's, you know, remember that movie Silence of the Lambs when they're doing the autopsy scene and they fish that chick out of the swamp and they all put that stuff under their lip, under their nose on the lip? You could try a little of that. That might not be bad.

44:05🔗 Jay McGraw All right.

44:06🔗 Adam But why don't you take a shower with her? Well, that's not what we don't laugh that off like it's retarded logic. You could get intimate and take a shower with her and like scrub her down.

44:18🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah, I guess that worked pretty good.

44:20🔗 Adam Well, what do you want me to do?

44:21🔗 Drew Scrub her down. All right.

44:22🔗 Adam Get in the jacuzzi with her. You know, I don't know. I don't have any great advice for this. Another thing is, is you should learn to love your woman's stink.

44:34🔗 Drew You can do that.

44:35🔗 Jay McGraw You can do that.

44:36🔗 Caller When you're banging her or whatever, you're just...

44:38🔗 Adam No, you don't smell anything when you're banging her. How dare you? What happened to chivalry? That's going to be my next book.

44:45🔗 Drew What happened to chivalry?

44:46🔗 Adam It's going to be, what the F happened to chivalry, you tards?

44:50🔗 Drew That or you don't smell anything when you're banging her.

44:53🔗 Adam All right. Let's talk to Lauren, who's 18.

44:57🔗 Jay McGraw Lauren? Hi. What's up? Okay. Well, yeah. I'm 18. My boyfriend Seth is 22. And he's my first sexual partner, I guess. And we've been going out for a year, but the past few months, our sex life has really been non-existent. He doesn't want to have sex.

45:19🔗 Adam Well, that's what happens when you date a guy named Seth. You got to find a guy named Jake, or, you know, Bruiser or Dutch or something. These are guys that are ready to go all the time. Seth?

45:32🔗 Jay McGraw Well, I mean, there was no problem at the beginning. Like, we were kind of kinky.

45:35🔗 Drew Yeah, well, here's a clue.

45:37🔗 Jay McGraw We had a lot of things going on, and I mean, we had sex, like, a couple times a week.

45:42🔗 Adam Right.

45:42🔗 Jay McGraw Three or four times a week, and now, the past few months, we haven't had sex at all.

45:46🔗 Adam What's it, so, what's it down to now? Like, once a month?

45:49🔗 Jay McGraw It's down to, like, well, we haven't had sex in the past two months.

45:53🔗 Adam Right.

45:54🔗 Jay McGraw But leading up to that was, like, once every two, three weeks.

45:58🔗 Adam All right. Do you think he's kind of pulling out of the relationship?

46:01🔗 Jay McGraw No, definitely not. Like, I've been going through some sort of hard, like, hard times. Like, I got kicked out of school, and some of my parents, and he's really been really supportive, and we've been fighting a lot, but he constantly tells me how much he wants to make everything work, and he's really, you know, really cares about me.

46:16🔗 Adam Yeah, but you've been fighting a lot.

46:18🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah, we've been arguing because, like, of the stuff that's been going on in my life.

46:22🔗 Adam Yeah, but maybe, listen, I don't want to freak you out, but maybe he's kind of done with the relationship and he's too freaked out to break things off because of all the trauma.

46:31🔗 Drew Have you asked him about it?

46:33🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah, he's definitely the type of person that if he doesn't like something, he'll let you know. Definitely. All right.

46:40🔗 Drew But have you asked him about it?

46:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:42🔗 Jay McGraw I'm like, do you still want to go out? He's like, yeah, I know where we're having, you know, like, I know we're having a hard time, but you know, I really care about you and this will pass, whatever.

46:54🔗 Adam Is your name Ashley?

46:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

46:56🔗 Caller Okay.

46:58🔗 Adam Here's the deal, Lauren.

46:59🔗 Drew Seth is loving that.

47:00🔗 Jay McGraw I know.

47:02🔗 Adam Here's the deal.

47:03🔗 Drew Sorry, Seth.

47:04🔗 Adam When you call up with the bogus name, it's important not to refer to yourself in the third person. She used the anche, but...

47:13🔗 Drew That's hard to do, you know, to call yourself by your own name.

47:17🔗 Adam If you really think about it, in the course of a two-minute phone call, to screw up and call yourself by your own name in that two minutes is a fairly tall order. I mean, look at it this way. We could go months and years without calling ourselves by our own first name.

47:33🔗 Drew I hadn't said my name yet.

47:34🔗 Adam Right. It's like, until I win the Super Bowl, I'll not be talking about what's good for what Adam Carolla needs to do.

47:39🔗 Drew It's to do. Hey, Ashley, listen. You can't change what you don't acknowledge. You have to ask yourself, I mean, is he really interested in me? Because, I mean, it sounds like you're, yeah, I've asked him. Yeah, he wants to, yeah, he still wants to go out. I'm not quite sure that's the case. So I would actually, I would look at that a little more closely and see what you actually think.

47:57🔗 Adam I agree. And if he's such a straightforward guy, he can handle the truth. Say to him straight out, we haven't had sex in a while, it's dropped off, what's up? He confronts things. Let him confront that. We'll be back.

48:09🔗 Caller Hello, this is Loveline.

48:11🔗 Caller 1800 Love, 191 Loveline. We'll be right back.

48:14🔗 Oh yeah, you're listening to that Loveline show with Adam and Dr. Corolla right here on 94.7.

48:26🔗 Adam That is Jay McGraw. Jay McGraw is the author of How to Kill Your Kids and Make It Look Like an Accident. Now, Life Strategy for Teens is the name of the book that he's authored. Ten weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. His dad is Dr. Phil McGraw, who wrote Life Strategies. What year did that book come out?

48:47🔗 Drew It came out a couple years ago.

48:49🔗 Adam And that sold a billion copies?

48:51🔗 Drew Yeah, it did pretty well.

48:52🔗 Adam Oh, it's got to suck having a dad.

48:54🔗 Drew Did average, I guess.

48:55🔗 Adam Got all the answers. Your dad's a doctor. What kind of doctor is he?

48:59🔗 Drew He's a psychologist.

49:01🔗 Adam Oh, you poor son of a bitch. Must be horrible. Is that horrible for you, having dad as a therapist?

49:07🔗 Drew Oh, it's all right.

49:08🔗 Adam It's all right?

49:09🔗 Drew Yeah, I learned a lot. And now I can share it in life strategies for teens.

49:13🔗 Caller All right. All right.

49:14🔗 Adam All right, just suppress that anger. We will, Drew will be in tomorrow night with the zesty Kathy Griffin. And we'll now go to, wait a minute, we got the guy who hung up. It sounds too good to be true. Is this the guy who hung up, sir?

49:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:31🔗 Adam How the hell did he get back on? I'm always offended when someone can call in and get on. I talk to people all the time as I've been calling the show for six months straight.

49:39🔗 Drew And can't get through?

49:40🔗 Caller Right.

49:41🔗 Adam I got one guy jerked off a triple and he gets in 10 minutes later. Let's just see if it's him.

49:48🔗 Drew Chris?

49:49🔗 Caller Hey.

49:49🔗 Adam Hey. All right.

49:51🔗 Drew All right. Now what was he dressed like?

49:52🔗 Adam Sorry we hung up on you.

49:54🔗 Caller That's OK.

49:54🔗 Adam Let me, is your phone running out of battery juice?

49:57🔗 Caller Kind of.

49:57🔗 Adam I'll kill myself. Do you have a better phone to get on?

50:02🔗 Caller No.

50:03🔗 Adam You don't have another phone in the house?

50:05🔗 Caller No. I think this one can last a little bit longer though.

50:08🔗 Adam All right. Go ahead.

50:10🔗 Caller OK. Well, anyways, we went back to his room.

50:12🔗 Adam Right. This is a guy you met at the science fiction fair.

50:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:16🔗 Adam OK. Convention. And he was dressed as a Wookie?

50:20🔗 Caller As a big dog.

50:21🔗 Drew As a big dog.

50:22🔗 Adam I see. And you went back to the room with him.

50:26🔗 Drew What did you do with him?

50:29🔗 Caller A little bit of everything to tell the truth.

50:32🔗 Adam Right. Oral sex?

50:33🔗 Caller Yeah. You can go down the list. I probably probably did it.

50:37🔗 Adam How about the Bahamian? Is that still intact for you?

50:41🔗 Caller No.

50:42🔗 Adam No.

50:42🔗 Caller No.

50:43🔗 Adam Did he rupture the Bahamian?

50:44🔗 Caller Yeah. He was the first one.

50:46🔗 Adam I see. He wasn't still in the Wookiee suit, though, was he? I see. And he's a 21-year-old gent.

50:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:54🔗 Adam Yeah. And have you spoken to him since?

50:57🔗 Caller Yeah. We talked online a couple of times.

50:59🔗 Adam Right.

51:00🔗 Caller And he says that he wants to continue the relationship and that he's going to come back down to see me sometime soon. And I just want to know if it's healthy to pursue it, or should I just tell him to stay away?

51:15🔗 Adam Well, where's back down? Where are you calling from?

51:18🔗 Caller I'm from California.

51:19🔗 Adam And he's from where?

51:20🔗 Caller Texas.

51:22🔗 Adam He's not from the Nebulon Galaxy or something?

51:26🔗 Caller Okay.

51:27🔗 Adam Listen, this is a disaster because he's from Texas, which as we all know is just the armpit of the United States. Hey, hey. Oh, Jay's from Texas.

51:35🔗 Caller That's right.

51:36🔗 Adam Yeah, don't mess with Texas. He's from Far Way. You're from California. You're 15. You need someone more your own age. You're gay, right? Are you okay with that?

51:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:46🔗 Adam And it's going all right? And how about getting involved with like some youth, gay, teen, you know, services or center or something like that?

51:54🔗 Caller Okay.

51:55🔗 Adam I mean, listen, you cruising the Internet meeting guys from Far Way lands is not going to be a good plan for you. And as a young gay male, you're going to have a lot of screwballs coming at you. And this guy, the difference between 15 and 21 is a lot. And I don't trust this guy.

52:11🔗 Drew Hey, Chris, as we say in Texas, that dog won't hunt around here. You know what I mean, Adam?

52:16🔗 Adam What's that?

52:16🔗 Drew That dog won't hunt around here.

52:18🔗 Adam Well, what's that mean?

52:19🔗 Drew It's just not going to work.

52:20🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

52:21🔗 Drew The dog won't hunt around here.

52:22🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm from North Hollywood. Our adage is that hobo won't vomit on the mattress. It's a little different, but it means the same thing.

52:33🔗 Drew Yeah, and this guy is dressed like a dog.

52:34🔗 Adam He's physically dressed like a dog, so it really is apropos.

52:37🔗 Drew It carries a little more meaning.

52:38🔗 Adam Oh, these batteries on these phones. I got to do a quick minute on this. You guys, you use those portable phones, not a cell phone, but I'm talking about just a portable one you walk around your apartment with. They have these, they have the pager system on it. There's a big button you hit on the handset when you lose it, and it goes me, me, me, me, so you can locate it. Right? I have that, yeah. I, here's the thing I can't figure out. My phone, which is a nice phone, gives two and a half to three seconds worth of beeps and then stops, and then you've got to walk back to the base again and hit the page. So here's how it goes. Picture me, one-thirty, stoned, standing in my house, which has an upstairs, and I can't find a goddamn phone. So I hit the thing. So I hit it.

53:26🔗 Caller Meep, meep, meep.

53:28🔗 Adam Now, I take one step to the right, I stop. I take one step to the left, I stop, and then the phone stops. And I go, OK, now I have, OK, now I have no.

53:37🔗 Drew Don't take one step to the right or left. It's not there.

53:39🔗 Adam I'm no closer. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to commit to one side this time.

53:43🔗 Drew OK.

53:43🔗 Adam Hit the thing again. Meep, meep. Now I go hard left.

53:46🔗 Caller Meep, meep, meep.

53:48🔗 Adam Now it stopped. OK, but it was getting weak.

53:51🔗 Drew OK.

53:51🔗 Adam So it ain't to the left. About the fourth or fifth time, as I try to throw a slipper at the page button so I can get a head start at the thing and sprint around the house, I think to myself, how much harm would it be? How much harm would it cause if they just made the goddamn thing beep until I got to the phone?

54:09🔗 Drew A little longer.

54:11🔗 Adam What would that do? Potentially. How much trouble would that cause? Forget about a half hour. What if they just gave me 15 seconds to find my phone?

54:20🔗 Drew That would be logical.

54:21🔗 Adam Obviously, the phone is lost. Obviously, I'm in no shape to find it. Obviously, it has slid between the sofa pillows. Wherever it is, it could be upstairs or underneath the mattress. I don't know where the phone is. That's my point. Give me more than five seconds. I don't know if anyone's listening who's working on this technology. Please let the phone beep until I get to it and then push the button on it that would shut the beep off. And again, what is the worst thing that could happen if they let the thing just go for 20 seconds?

54:51🔗 Drew You find it. I had a portable phone that when you would hit the intercom, the base would beep and the phone would beep. So it was impossible to find it because all you could find was the base.

54:59🔗 Adam That was a real good thing. You're just going insane.

55:02🔗 Caller Mine goes for a full minute.

55:03🔗 Adam What's that?

55:04🔗 Caller Mine goes for a full minute.

55:05🔗 Adam Oh, does it? Yeah. What kind you got, Anderson? I don't know.

55:08🔗 Caller It's a phone.

55:09🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. Look at you. Full minute. You're a lowly engineer and look at me. A big radio and television personnel. They only get to five seconds.

55:18🔗 Drew The problem is he knows exactly how long his phone will beep. 59 seconds. Oh, OK. All right. We will quit solving cancer, fix the phone beepers.

55:26🔗 Adam Thank you. Let's talk to Ruby. Ruby.

55:30🔗 Caller Hi.

55:30🔗 Adam You're 20. What's up?

55:32🔗 Caller OK. I like this guy and he's a lot bigger than me. And we like each other. And I was wondering if there's any other positions that we can have sex in without me being on top.

55:44🔗 Adam Wheelbarrow.

55:46🔗 Caller Is that it?

55:47🔗 Adam That's all.

55:48🔗 Caller Really?

55:49🔗 Caller Yep.

55:50🔗 Adam Thank you for the call.

55:51🔗 Caller OK.

55:52🔗 Jay McGraw All right.

55:52🔗 Adam We'll talk to you soon. Thank you.

55:54🔗 Drew Keep us informed.

55:55🔗 Jay McGraw All right.

55:55🔗 Adam Let's talk to Tom.

55:57🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah.

55:57🔗 Adam All right. Wait a minute. I feel bad. Ruby, did you hang up, baby?

56:02🔗 Caller She hung up.

56:06🔗 Adam All right. Let me speak to Ruby for just a second. Was the position he's on top of her? Was that Ruby's position? Other way around. She was on him? Yeah. He was on her with the big penis, right? Here's the point. You got to relax, because if you're scared of the penis, it'll hurt you. Penis like a dog. It sees fear. It attacks. That's how my penis is. Let the penis sniff. I'll put my hand out. Let it sniff my wrist. Yeah. Good boy. Good boy. Come here. Come here. There. Yeah. You like it under the chin, don't you, buddy? No. If you're freaked out, you're going to tense up and the penis is going to hurt you. Okay? So you got to relax.

56:45🔗 Drew How do you know this?

56:47🔗 Adam Why? Because I was raped multiple times. Well, summer camp and then prison after that. Now, I've done this show and I know that there's this vaginismus thing where the women actually tighten up. The pelvis tightens up when they get tense. So if they're scared of something, they tighten up and it aggravates the situation. I should really be a professor at one of those colleges you talk about. All right, so she needs to get in a position where she can control the depth, which is her on top.

57:17🔗 Drew She's wanting to know, she's wanting variety here.

57:19🔗 Adam Oh, Mike, hold on a second. Am I talking about a penis for a half hour and it was a fat guy?

57:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

57:25🔗 Adam I said it was a big guy and he was hurting me. Big fat guy? He's afraid of being crushed. Oh, what? I scratch you all out about getting raped. Well, you go doggy or you get on top, right?

57:39🔗 Drew That's the problem. She's on top and wants variety.

57:42🔗 Adam All right, then then doggy. Doggy won't get hurt unless he like pulls a brody and like lands on you or something, right? You go doggy. And what are you doing giving fat guys sex? What's going to be his incentive to lose weight? You shouldn't give fat people sex. Help America. It's their incentive to lose weight. Thank you. You're 16.

58:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:05🔗 Adam What's up?

58:06🔗 Caller Well, I have this problem with guys like, well, I get around them and I get really nervous and it could be around my best guy friend or it could be around like any ex-boyfriend I've had or a guy I like. And I get this feeling in my stomach like if I was going to throw up and sometimes it gets to the point where I have to literally go to the bathroom and puke because I'm I feel sick and my question is, is there anything that I could do to get over that?

58:34🔗 Drew Were you like raped or molested when you were younger or anything?

58:37🔗 Jay McGraw No.

58:38🔗 Caller I was, I just, it recently started about a year ago.

58:41🔗 Adam Well, just to, so I don't make an ask myself, is your boyfriend a fat guy?

58:45🔗 Caller No.

58:46🔗 Adam No. Okay. And it just started this nervousness.

58:51🔗 Caller Yeah, about a year ago.

58:52🔗 Adam And did you say it's around your friends or only around guys?

58:55🔗 Caller Just around guys.

58:56🔗 Adam And guys you're going to be intimate with?

58:59🔗 Caller No. Just they could be friends or anybody.

59:02🔗 Adam But just men?

59:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:04🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, I sort of agree with Jay. I mean, what's up with you and guys? You're never traumatized by men?

59:11🔗 Caller I'm completely fine with men. I'm just...

59:14🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. You're not completely fine with them. You want to vomit on them.

59:17🔗 Caller Yeah, I know.

59:18🔗 Adam Other than that, you're fine?

59:19🔗 Caller Huh?

59:20🔗 Adam You're fine other than wanting to vomit on them?

59:22🔗 Caller Other than that.

59:24🔗 Caller I don't vomit on them, but I just feel sick when I get around them.

59:27🔗 Adam Okay. Where's your dad?

59:29🔗 Caller Sleeping.

59:30🔗 Adam How is he?

59:31🔗 Caller Huh?

59:32🔗 Adam How is he?

59:33🔗 Caller He's fine.

59:34🔗 Adam You like him?

59:35🔗 Caller Yeah, I like my dad. My dad's nice.

59:36🔗 Adam Are you a virgin?

59:38🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm a virgin.

59:39🔗 Adam And are you religious?

59:41🔗 Caller Not really. I like to go to church, yeah.

59:44🔗 Adam I see. God bless you for going to church even though you don't believe in anything. And you were never raped, you were never molested. Did your dad ever physically hit you?

59:55🔗 Caller My dad doesn't. He doesn't believe in that.

59:58🔗 Adam I see.

59:59🔗 Drew My dad doesn't believe in abusing me.

1:00:01🔗 Adam All right. Well, hey, different strokes for different folks. Who might have condemned his wife? If it works, fine. God bless him. More power to him.

1:00:07🔗 Drew How about your uncle or your ex-boyfriend or has anybody abused you or molested you in any way?

1:00:13🔗 Caller Well, when I was young, I lived with my aunt and they used to fight all the time and they would get to the point where they would want to kill each other literally. And so I maybe that's why, but I was around four years old then.

1:00:26🔗 Adam Why did you live with your aunt?

1:00:28🔗 Jay McGraw Huh?

1:00:29🔗 Adam Why did you live with your aunt?

1:00:31🔗 Caller Because when I was little, my mom and my dad got divorced because my mom was a drug addict.

1:00:36🔗 Adam Uh-huh.

1:00:36🔗 Caller So I don't really have a mom either.

1:00:38🔗 Adam Ah. Well, now we're...

1:00:39🔗 Drew Just left that out, didn't you?

1:00:40🔗 Adam Now we're getting somewhere.

1:00:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:42🔗 Adam And why didn't you live with your dad?

1:00:44🔗 Caller Because my dad couldn't take custody of me right then because I have no clue why. He just never told me.

1:00:51🔗 Adam I see.

1:00:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:52🔗 Adam All right. Well, here's the point, Anna. There's more floating around here than everything was fine. I don't know why I'm freaked out by guys. Right?

1:01:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:00🔗 Adam I mean, you had a pretty rough childhood.

1:01:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:02🔗 Adam Parents had kind of a pretty rocky divorce.

1:01:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:05🔗 Adam Your mom is a drug addict.

1:01:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:08🔗 Adam Unfit to be your mother. You went over to your chaotic aunt's house and watched them go at it, probably scared the ass out of you. I mean, that's just real terrifying when you're four years old and people are really, you know, going at each other.

1:01:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:22🔗 Drew So you're scared of getting hurt?

1:01:24🔗 Caller Yeah, probably. That's probably it.

1:01:27🔗 Drew Do you trust that you're, like, strong enough to not get hurt, to not put yourself in a situation where you're going to get abused or hurt in some way?

1:01:35🔗 Caller Yeah. I just, I used to, I feel like, I feel like I could do, I feel like I'm strong enough to where I don't have to be afraid of things. I just, I don't know. I don't know if there's something wrong with me.

1:01:47🔗 Adam Well, no, there's nothing wrong with you. You're normal and you're human, but you grew up inside basically a Cuisinart, of an Ashfield Cuisinart, all right? And you're gonna have to get a little therapy.

1:02:02🔗 Caller Okay.

1:02:02🔗 Adam All right? Because this is the kind of thing that's gonna take a little bit to undo. It took a while to do and it's gonna take some time and some effort to undo. There's no way you can grow up seeing that, being exposed to that, having a junky mom who abandoned the family and a dad who dropped you off at the aunt's house. And I'd like to see what's up with this great dad that couldn't handle his own kids for quite some time.

1:02:25🔗 Drew And arbitrarily take them away.

1:02:26🔗 Adam Yes, and drop them off at the screwball aunt's house. There's stuff going on here and that's what's, you're feeling the residue and manifestations of yesterday, today.

1:02:39🔗 Drew But you have to realize that being scared is a way of protecting yourself from other people and you say that you're strong enough to handle whatever situation you're in but I mean you're puking every time you get around guys so I would disagree with you but like Adam said I'd get a little help but realize that you you're not the one that was messed up before it was those other people don't let them affect you now.

1:02:59🔗 Adam Yeah well you are messed up now but that's all right you fix yourself you get some therapy the only only way you're going to continue to be messed up is if you don't admit you're messed up thank you. Heidi?

1:03:09🔗 Jay McGraw Yes.

1:03:10🔗 Adam You're 28?

1:03:11🔗 Jay McGraw Uh-huh.

1:03:11🔗 Adam What's up?

1:03:13🔗 Jay McGraw Well so I have sort of gotten myself in a situation where there's a possibility that I could be in like sort of a fetish lingerie show.

1:03:23🔗 Adam I see.

1:03:24🔗 Jay McGraw Locally.

1:03:25🔗 Adam Sure. Which you know I got to start somewhere.

1:03:29🔗 Jay McGraw Well I don't want to say where obviously but I sort of volunteered for it because I think it would be fun it's at a local club but here's the problem I work with kids.

1:03:40🔗 Adam Right.

1:03:41🔗 Jay McGraw And I eventually think that some day I want to go into like children's television.

1:03:46🔗 Adam Right.

1:03:47🔗 Jay McGraw So I'm worried that like some mother is going to find out about this.

1:03:51🔗 Adam Well maybe you could work bondage into the children's programming.

1:03:56🔗 Jay McGraw No, no, no, no.

1:03:58🔗 Adam You want to go into children's programming and television like is doing what like hosting a show?

1:04:04🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah. Something like that.

1:04:05🔗 Adam I see who's the next Hobo Kelly. Someone like that.

1:04:10🔗 Jay McGraw Something like a professional, you know, like informational type thing, educational.

1:04:14🔗 Adam I see. And then why risk it? What's drawn you to this lingerie? This fetish lingerie? And what is that fetish lingerie?

1:04:23🔗 Jay McGraw Well, it's not some of it. The thing is like, so it's not just going to be fetish. It's going to be like Valentine's Day stuff. And it's not all lingerie. It's going to be like some goth stuff.

1:04:31🔗 Drew Hey, why do this?

1:04:34🔗 Jay McGraw Because I'm bored and it seems like it would be fun.

1:04:37🔗 Drew That's not why. There's a lot of ways to have fun. You're wanting to do it because you feel like all these people that are watching, you're going to accept you. And you can get that acceptance in a lot of ways. And in a lot of ways that don't ruin your chances of working with kids for the rest of your life. I mean, I want to say like for the kids' sake, go ahead and do it. Maybe we can all find out what's going on here. But you know, don't do that. Find the acceptance. And if it's actually fun that you're looking for, you know, go to an amusement park or something. I mean, you don't have to get naked in front of a group of people.

1:05:04🔗 Adam What will you be wearing?

1:05:06🔗 Jay McGraw Well, I haven't picked it out yet. So, I get to pick it out.

1:05:09🔗 Adam But you get a few different outfits.

1:05:11🔗 Jay McGraw It's going to be like four different things. And one of them has to be fetish, but it doesn't have to be really skimpy.

1:05:17🔗 Adam All right. But fetish, you're not going to be wearing like a potato sack with a shower cap on or something. You're going to be wearing like some nipple clamps.

1:05:27🔗 Jay McGraw Well, more like leather, leather and chains or something like that.

1:05:30🔗 Adam Right. All right. Well, is this something you're into or you just you just you said you weren't into it, but you're sure you're not into it at all?

1:05:37🔗 Jay McGraw Well, I do. I like I go to some goth clubs and stuff like that. And I used to be a lot more into it when I was in college.

1:05:44🔗 Drew But you go clothed is the difference.

1:05:46🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:05:47🔗 Jay McGraw Well, I'm not I'm going to be clothed. But the thing is, all right. At the club.

1:05:51🔗 Adam Well, listen, Heidi, you know, you're you're bucking for a career in children's television. Maybe you just why chance it? I'm with Jay on this one.

1:06:03🔗 Drew I mean, you don't necessarily want to dress in goth lingerie, which is probably kind of an oxymoron and and dance in front of a bunch of people. You want the feelings that come from doing that. And you can get those in a lot of ways that don't ruin your chances of doing educational tapes for children in the future.

1:06:20🔗 Adam But yeah, about robbing a bank or something. Well, listen, you're 28. What's up there, baby? You're going to goth clubs. What's up? You sound like you're 17. You got a boyfriend?

1:06:32🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah.

1:06:32🔗 Adam You got kids?

1:06:33🔗 Jay McGraw No.

1:06:34🔗 Adam What's up with the boyfriend?

1:06:37🔗 Jay McGraw It's fairly new.

1:06:38🔗 Adam Yeah. What is he? 23?

1:06:40🔗 Jay McGraw No, he's in his thirties.

1:06:42🔗 Drew He's in a goth club?

1:06:43🔗 Jay McGraw No.

1:06:44🔗 Adam Is he all right guy?

1:06:45🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah, he's a cool guy.

1:06:46🔗 Adam Okay. You're 28. So start slowing down. You do what I do. You sit home, you wait to die.

1:06:53🔗 Jay McGraw I'm not ready to do that.

1:06:55🔗 Adam No, it's all right. You don't have to kill yourself. You're just waiting to die. There's a difference. All right, Heidi, if you want to get in a kid's TV, don't do it. All right? And please, can't you aspire to more than children's television? That's for knuckleheads. Well, thanks. All right, and don't, whatever you do, and I'll say this to Jay too, don't write any kids' books. I swear to Christ, my mom has a friend who used to be a neighbor of ours. God, I hope neither one of them is listening. She writes these kids' books, and they suck. And the reason they suck is because there's three and a half words per page, and then you turn the page. And she doesn't illustrate them. And my mom is always like beaming. She's like, Dorothy wrote a new book. And I go, ah.

1:07:46🔗 Drew Dorothy had a new thought.

1:07:47🔗 Adam You want to see she's published? Okay, let me see that, mom. The twins hopped on the bed, turn the page. The twins fell on their head. Let's turn the next page. The twins played patty cake. The twins baked the cake. All right, I'm done with the book.

1:08:06🔗 Drew Now this is a nonsense manuscript.

1:08:08🔗 Adam This woman is, and she's like, isn't that amazing what Dorothy's done? I'm like, a retard could put a crayon in his ass and write this book, mom. Oh, somebody's jealous. No, no, no, mom, no, but does she illustrate? No, she doesn't do the illustration. She's not an artist. She's the author of the book.

1:08:27🔗 Caller The author of the book.

1:08:30🔗 Adam Listen, I could write, get a tape recorder. I'll dictate, I'll do 15 children's books in my car before I make it home.

1:08:38🔗 Drew Second job, but Adam, she's published by Kinko's.

1:08:40🔗 Adam Three words per page. You're writing a children's book. That's why it always drives me nuts when these celebrities sit down and decide to author a book. And she's written 15 children's books. She wrote them over a weekend when she was high. 15 children's books, that's 25 words. All right, where the hell are we? We're taking ourselves a little break. Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. He's the author of a real book, Life Strategy for Teens. It's got to be 245 pages.

1:09:11🔗 Drew All right, look at you.

1:09:12🔗 Adam 233.

1:09:13🔗 Drew For a man that doesn't read.

1:09:14🔗 Adam Where are we at? Now, I know the weight of books. I pick them all up and look for pictures. This has some drawings. There's a nude pop out of Jay in the middle. So you'll want to pick this up. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

1:09:27🔗 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm there. Don't even think about touching that dial. Loveline will be right back on the New Rock Alternative. Where's that voice guy at?

1:09:41🔗 Caller 94.7, NRK.

1:09:47🔗 Caller Who are these two people?

1:09:49🔗 Caller What makes them tick?

1:09:56🔗 Adam Adam Carolla, that is Jay McGraw.

1:09:59🔗 Drew What's going on?

1:10:00🔗 Adam Jay's no doctor, but his dad is, and that's close enough. We have Phil McGraw, who is his dad, also a big relief pitcher for the Phillies in the 70s and early 80s.

1:10:11🔗 Drew That was Tug.

1:10:12🔗 Adam Tug McGraw.

1:10:13🔗 Drew Yeah, oops.

1:10:15🔗 Adam He authored Life Strategies, which was a big best seller. And Jay's followed in his father's footsteps and written Life Strategies for Teens. And that is out everywhere. Am I correct in saying that?

1:10:28🔗 Drew Yeah, it's everywhere.

1:10:29🔗 Adam And it is 10 weeks now on the New York Times best seller list. So however many people can't be wrong. I don't know how many you got to sell to get on that best seller's list, but I know you got to sell quite a few. Yes?

1:10:44🔗 Drew I guess so. All right. So what'd they tell me?

1:10:47🔗 Adam Good times. Well, the success has not gone to your head. Chris?

1:10:51🔗 Yeah.

1:10:51🔗 Adam You're 17. What's up?

1:10:53🔗 Caller Oh, well, I lied to get in. I lied about the question again, like that other two callers did.

1:11:00🔗 Adam Right.

1:11:00🔗 Caller And I have first a question for that author guy, and I was just wondering what he did to become an author, because I want to be a poet, and I just don't know how to go about it.

1:11:13🔗 Drew I tell you what, email me, jmcgraw.com. It's a really exciting question.

1:11:16🔗 Caller All right, cool. Hey, I got another question.

1:11:18🔗 Adam Wait a minute. Can your dad write a book on poetry?

1:11:20🔗 Drew Yeah, really.

1:11:21🔗 Caller What's that?

1:11:22🔗 Adam I'm just busting Jay's chops over here. Hey, listen, Chris. Yeah. I know you asked this to Jay, but as a artistic type myself.

1:11:32🔗 Caller Adam's an author.

1:11:34🔗 Adam Oh yeah, that's right. I'm an author. Yeah, that's right. I forgot I was an author. As an author of children's books, I can tell you this. If you're a poet, you write poetry. Just write. Just keep writing.

1:11:44🔗 Caller Okay.

1:11:44🔗 Adam I mean, don't plan it out. Don't think about it too much, especially at 17. Just hone your craft and work your material and see where it goes. And contact JVIA's email.

1:11:56🔗 Caller I got another question.

1:11:57🔗 Adam Yes.

1:11:58🔗 Caller Well, I've had kind of like a pretty rough past. And now that I'm trying to like, I just got out of a pretty long relationship and I keep meeting like the wrong type of girls. I don't know if they're the wrong type of girls or if I'm just getting like scared and running away from them or whatever, but.

1:12:16🔗 Adam Do you have a poem about that?

1:12:18🔗 Caller No.

1:12:19🔗 Adam Do you have any poem?

1:12:20🔗 Caller Do I have what?

1:12:21🔗 Adam Yeah, I'd like to hear a poem.

1:12:22🔗 Caller You want to hear a poem?

1:12:23🔗 Drew A short poem.

1:12:24🔗 Adam Yeah, you called up, you said you're a poet.

1:12:27🔗 Caller Right.

1:12:28🔗 Adam Do you have a poem? Anything?

1:12:29🔗 Caller Um, let me, I'd have to look for one.

1:12:31🔗 Adam Well, why don't you do that?

1:12:32🔗 Drew Look, and I'll answer your question. These girls that you're attracting that are weird, you have to realize that you're creating the experience that you have by the way that you walk and the way that you talk, the way that you dress, the places that you hang out. I mean, weird girls don't hang out in certain places, and so you're obviously going to weird girl places. Now, but, I mean, think about it. What are you doing to attract these girls? And if you don't like that, change it. Are you talking to them a certain way? Are you dressing a certain way? Are you hanging out in the wrong place? Change something. Oh, no, not really.

1:13:04🔗 Adam All right, but here's what Jay's saying. Jay's saying, what is your role in this situation? Meaning, whatever facet of life you're interested in getting answers to, you should always figure out what your role is. If you got fired, what was your role in getting fired?

1:13:21🔗 Drew You can only control one person, that's you.

1:13:22🔗 Adam Right, if the boss and people that are shorter than you and make less money than you do, I've learned that now. But if you got fired, if you just say, I got canned because my boss is an a-hole, then you get nothing out of it.

1:13:34🔗 Drew That's right.

1:13:35🔗 Adam And maybe your boss is an a-hole, but you should still look at what your role was in getting fired. And if your girlfriend dumps you, maybe it's because she's a bitch, but what, why were you attracted to a bitch?

1:13:46🔗 Caller And what was your role attracted to like, I like girls that like treat me like, oh, with the S word.

1:13:55🔗 Drew Thanks, buddy.

1:13:56🔗 Adam What kind of choice of verbiage is that for a poet?

1:13:58🔗 Drew And you don't talk like that in Salt Lake City, do you?

1:14:01🔗 Adam This one does. All right. Listen, Chris, give us that poem, would you please? Did you find one?

1:14:08🔗 Caller No, I didn't.

1:14:09🔗 Caller They're really long.

1:14:11🔗 Adam Just give us the first paragraph off of one.

1:14:14🔗 Caller The first paragraph of one.

1:14:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:14:17🔗 Caller All right.

1:14:17🔗 Caller Let me look here.

1:14:19🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. Come on, buddy. You're a poet, right? Here's a national forum.

1:14:24🔗 Drew Don't you remember it? Come on. Think of something.

1:14:26🔗 Caller All right.

1:14:29🔗 Adam Man, I can't do this. Hold on a second. Anderson, what do you want? Anderson, don't direct the goddamn show from the booth. You're pointing at something. I think something's on fire. Jesus Christ. Chris, I'm sorry.

1:14:43🔗 Caller It's all good.

1:14:43🔗 Adam All right. Give me that poem.

1:14:45🔗 Caller Dude, I can't find it.

1:14:46🔗 Adam All right, then.

1:14:47🔗 Drew Forget it.

1:14:48🔗 Adam What the hell? Everyone's somebody. They just don't do it. They're singers, they're musicians, they're poets, and every time I ask them to come through, they're not ready.

1:14:55🔗 Drew That's right.

1:14:56🔗 Adam All right. Anyway, Chris, you're attracting these screwballs, so it's you that needs to change. Don't question them. Crystal?

1:15:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:05🔗 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:15:06🔗 Caller About six months ago, I was raped. And ever since then, I'm like terrified to get out of my house.

1:15:14🔗 Adam Who raped you?

1:15:16🔗 Caller Some of my friends at the party. They drugged me with a hypno.

1:15:19🔗 Adam And were these, these were guys you knew then, right?

1:15:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:24🔗 Adam It was just more than one guy?

1:15:26🔗 Caller It was seven.

1:15:27🔗 Adam Seven guys?

1:15:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:30🔗 Adam And what about before this?

1:15:35🔗 Caller No, I was never raped before that or anything.

1:15:37🔗 Adam Physical abuse?

1:15:39🔗 Caller My dad abused me.

1:15:40🔗 Adam Yeah. What did he do to you?

1:15:44🔗 Caller He was an alcoholic and he would beat on me, you know.

1:15:47🔗 Adam Yeah. You know, the reason I ask is cause whenever somebody gets raped, like what happened to you with the Rohypnol and the seven guys and everything, and it's not your fault in any way, shape or form, but there's always a history of some abuse before this. And it's what helps set you up in a way. It's what makes you think these guys are your friends. You know what I mean? It's why your spidey sense isn't tingling.

1:16:15🔗 Drew They know, yeah.

1:16:16🔗 Adam When you're hanging out with a-holes and criminals.

1:16:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:19🔗 Adam Did you call the police?

1:16:20🔗 Caller Yeah, but the police didn't do anything about it the first two days. And so by the time they got around to doing the rape test thing, I mean, whatever, there was no technical evidence, like sperm. Right. Prove that they did it.

1:16:35🔗 Adam Right.

1:16:35🔗 Caller But there was like physical evidence, like I was torn.

1:16:38🔗 Adam Right.

1:16:39🔗 Drew Because like, there's legal things that you can do to punish the guys and to do all that. And you're obviously, it's obviously affecting your life even now that it's over and done with. And I'm going to say something that will probably really surprise you, but you have to forgive the guys for doing it. And I don't mean that you go to them and you say that it's okay. You don't decide in your mind that what they did was okay. But you have to say, you screwed me over back then. You did something to hurt me back then. And now, six months later, I'm continuing to do that for you. You hurt me then, I'm hurting me now. And you can't do that to yourself. You have to say, look, that's over and done with. I don't want it to happen again. They don't deserve to get away with it. But unless they get punished criminally or whatever it is, I'm going to quit thinking about it. I'm going to forgive them in my mind for doing that. Because otherwise, you're punishing yourself each and every day for what they did to you six months ago. That's not fair to do to yourself.

1:17:36🔗 Adam But it's also, I think, almost an impossibility for a 15-year-old who was gang raped this way. I mean, listen, Jay's right on paper, but it's hard to get your mind to work that way. And obviously, you're going to need some counseling.

1:17:51🔗 Drew That's right.

1:17:51🔗 Adam You're going to have to sort of go to work to counteract this. I mean, you're essentially going to have to rehab as if you got into a bad car accident.

1:17:59🔗 Drew That's right. But I'm not talking about sitting around and waiting for this warm wave of forgiveness to come over you and say, oh, what they did was okay, I forgive you for that. Make a conscious decision, and Adam's right, you're going to have to get help with this and you're going to have to work on it every day, but make a conscious decision in your mind. Say, I decide today that I'm not going to wake up tomorrow hating them for doing that to me. Because if you do that, then you're still punishing yourself for them doing that to you. And don't give them that power. Take your power back from them because you're helping them. You're giving them power by letting them affect you six months later.

1:18:34🔗 Adam Well, speaking of that, what can we do to try to prosecute these guys? What's being done?

1:18:40🔗 Caller Nothing. I mean, I live in Riverside, so it's the cops here. Kind of.

1:18:47🔗 Adam Well, I mean, you went to the cops.

1:18:49🔗 Caller I went to the cops, right?

1:18:50🔗 Adam Almost immediately after you were drugged and gang raped.

1:18:53🔗 Caller Right when I woke up.

1:18:54🔗 Adam And they said, there's just nothing we can do.

1:18:57🔗 Caller They investigated, and because I don't really remember that much of it. I remember bits and pieces, but because I don't remember that much of it.

1:19:08🔗 Adam Okay.

1:19:09🔗 Caller Everybody denied it.

1:19:11🔗 Adam All right. Well, then listen.

1:19:12🔗 Drew Well, of course they denied it.

1:19:13🔗 Adam Crystal, here's the deal then. You may not get legal satisfaction out of this, but you still can get life satisfaction out of it, which is having a good life. You sound fairly together for someone who's been through a lot in your life. And let me tell you a couple of things beside what Jay told you. You are much more likely to have this happen again than your average person who didn't suffer abuse growing up and it wasn't gang raped and all this kind of stuff. You have to get yourself help or this will be a pattern. All right? So I'm sorry this happened to you. You know what you have to do now, and it's time to start doing it.

1:19:53🔗 Caller I've been in rape counseling since I was raped and it really hasn't done much for me.

1:19:58🔗 Adam I know, but you know what? You don't have a choice, really. I mean, what's your choice? Like being out of rape counseling? That's not much either. And stuff takes a while. Yes, Jay was going to say he was raped this morning, Anne.

1:20:12🔗 Drew No, this morning when you woke up or sometime today you thought about it and it made your day worse, right?

1:20:17🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm going to answer right because I put her in a hole.

1:20:19🔗 Drew OK, that's right. So, every day...

1:20:21🔗 Adam I play her.

1:20:22🔗 Drew OK, you play her.

1:20:23🔗 Adam Yes.

1:20:23🔗 Drew Every time you think about this, Crystal, it makes your day bad again. And so you have to get help in rape counseling, whatever it is. Go to them and tell them, what I want to do is quit thinking about this every day of my life. Help me do that. Because every time you think about it, it's making your life worse and you're giving them power over your life and they don't deserve that.

1:20:41🔗 Adam Jay R?

1:20:43🔗 Caller Yes.

1:20:43🔗 Adam You're 17?

1:20:44🔗 Caller Yes.

1:20:45🔗 Adam What's up?

1:20:46🔗 Caller Well, I'm gay, but I had sex with a woman and now I want to break up with my boyfriend.

1:20:52🔗 Drew Congratulations.

1:20:53🔗 Adam Well, so you're not gay, maybe?

1:20:55🔗 Caller Well, I don't know, because I still have feelings for him. With your boyfriend.

1:21:01🔗 Adam But you had sex with women?

1:21:04🔗 Caller One.

1:21:04🔗 Adam A woman. You like women? They're so loose.

1:21:07🔗 Caller You know, they're all right.

1:21:10🔗 Adam I see. I mean, not all of them. A man shaking her head over that. I'm just saying compare it to a guy. I mean, you know, you can't do the math. You can't compete with a guy. And I mean, you're good because you ain't no dude.

1:21:23🔗 Drew All right.

1:21:23🔗 Adam So maybe you're bi then, right?

1:21:26🔗 Caller No, I don't think so. I don't know, really.

1:21:29🔗 Drew Well, what's your question?

1:21:30🔗 Adam You can't be gay and with a woman, can you?

1:21:34🔗 Caller I don't know. Can you?

1:21:37🔗 Adam I don't know.

1:21:38🔗 Drew That's not what Webster says.

1:21:39🔗 Adam Let's ask Mr. Al. He may know. Listen, JR, you're obviously confused. Okay. So here's the deal. I'll draw my little confusion analogy. You can use this when you write your next book, James. You're heading down the highway. It's a dark highway and your map is blown out the window. You're not familiar with this territory. You come to a fork in the road and you don't know which way to go. So do you speed up or do you just sort of pull over and wait for daybreak and talk to some old timer at a gas station and get directions? I know this sounds kind of muddled, but what I'm saying is don't speed up. You're confused. You're at a fork in the road. Stop. Don't go anywhere.

1:22:21🔗 Drew Stop and figure out what's going on?

1:22:22🔗 Adam Stop and figure out where you're, what direction your penis wants to go. So you want to go to a vagina land or anusville. You know what I mean? I mean, you don't know if you're gay. You don't know if you're straight. You're with a guy. You have feelings for a woman. You don't think you're heterosexual yet you're attracted to a woman. You're 17 years old. You're spinning around like a whirling dervish. Just stop. Just get out of this relationship with the guy. Obviously, this isn't where you're at. And just take some time and find yourself. You know, people aren't going to solve your problems. And relationships aren't going to solve your problems. They just kind of numb you. It's really, relationship is like booze and drugs for a lot of people, which is you have a problem that you should be dealing with. You don't want to deal with it. So you just get loaded every night. And you can waste a few years in a relationship not focusing on the matter at hand. And for Jay, I'm sorry, Jay, but for Junior over here, it's his sexuality. Don't find your answers in another person. Just take a break.

1:23:22🔗 Drew I agree completely.

1:23:23🔗 Adam Speaking of taking a break, we're going to take a quick break here. And we'll be back with more Jay McGraw after this.

1:23:32🔗 Yeah, you're listening to Loveline right here on Portland's New Rock Alternative.

1:23:36🔗 Caller It's night at 4-7 in RK.

1:23:59🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. Phone number. Oh, I forget about that phone number. Hey, Kathy Griffin, the fiery redhead comedian is going to be on here.

1:24:11🔗 Drew She's a good friend of yours, right?

1:24:12🔗 Adam Very good, very good, very tight, very close, we had sex, friend of mine. Kathy Griffin is, no, she actually is a friend of mine. I've been to a few of her parties, and I'm going to her wedding. And the thing I gotta get in to her, with her, she's having her wedding sponsored. I, Anne, can you hear me over there? Anne, I got Kathy Griffin's wedding invitation a couple weeks back, and her wedding is being sponsored by like Seagrams and Miller and like Chef YRD or something, and you know, Anne Taylor or whoever the hell draw, you know, makes these outfits and stuff.

1:24:52🔗 Drew Seriously or a joke?

1:24:53🔗 Adam No, seriously. And then they're donating money, the money they would have spent on the wedding, or less, to some charity. It kind of, you know, makes sense, which is instead of us dropping 50 grand on a wedding, why don't we donate 2,500 bucks? Why don't we donate?

1:25:19🔗 Drew To the Human Fund?

1:25:20🔗 Adam Why don't we, to my kid's sister in Ohio, who has three kids? No. How about we donate the 50 grand, and then I'll use my celebrity status, not me, but I guess Kathy, to talk to some of these bottlers and some of these food distributors and some of these hotel owners, and I'll get them just to donate all of their services. And I'll write, sponsored by, on the wedding. I don't know if she has to drive like a Miller light van or something when they leave her.

1:25:54🔗 Drew Tie Miller cans to the bumper?

1:25:56🔗 Adam I'm gonna be, I don't know if she has to thank the Miller bottlers of Southern California when she takes her vow.

1:26:02🔗 Drew I do, and I would also like to think Miller.

1:26:06🔗 Adam You know, when it's time to get married, it's Miller time. Yeah, I picked your dress looking like the side of a NASCAR. There's a bunch of stickers on the side of it.

1:26:17🔗 Drew Gotta make the train longer.

1:26:18🔗 Adam I don't know. I'm telling you, I'm gonna get into that with Cathy tomorrow, and it may not be pretty.

1:26:24🔗 Drew Is it on TV or something?

1:26:26🔗 Adam I don't know. Yes, Wide World of Sports is gonna cover it, along with barrel jumping. Cathy Griffin's wedding right after cliff diving from Acapulco. I have no idea. We'll get into that with Cathy Griffin tomorrow night. Jay McGraw is here tonight. Life Strategies for Teens is the name of his best-selling book, and let's talk to Justin. Justin is 22. Justin?

1:26:51🔗 Caller Yeah, what's going on, Adam?

1:26:53🔗 Caller Hey.

1:26:55🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. My girlfriend asked me to do something the other night that I've never heard of before. And I was just kind of wondering if maybe y'all knew what it meant. I mean, I've never heard of it. I've kind of, you know, it kind of threw me off guard. I mean, I'm not freaking out.

1:27:10🔗 Adam But what is it?

1:27:12🔗 Caller She wanted to put a diaper on me.

1:27:15🔗 Adam And have you then do what?

1:27:17🔗 Caller I have no idea. I mean, she just said she thought it'd be cute, blah, blah, blah. And we were laying in bed at the time and I did, you know.

1:27:25🔗 Adam Do you have to, do you have to make in your diaper?

1:27:28🔗 Caller I have no idea. She, I mean, I kind of just.

1:27:31🔗 Adam Do you have sex with her in your diaper?

1:27:33🔗 Caller I've never done it before. And she had brought it up and she's talked about it a few times and I just kind of, I thought she was playing around.

1:27:40🔗 Adam Hold on dude. You never banged a chick in a diaper?

1:27:43🔗 Caller No.

1:27:44🔗 Drew You call yourself a man?

1:27:45🔗 Caller What's up?

1:27:47🔗 Adam What's up? I was banging chicks in diapers in high school. I was banging chicks in diapers when I was still in diapers. Well, why don't you investigate a little here? It doesn't sound good, but she wants to be sexual with you in these diapers, right?

1:28:04🔗 Caller I don't know. I guess. I mean, we're in bed, you know.

1:28:07🔗 Adam And is she talking about like a Pampers type diaper or a Jesus type diaper? Was that a diaper?

1:28:14🔗 Caller I don't know, man. I mean, I don't think I'd fit in a Pampers. I'm a little too big for that.

1:28:18🔗 Adam Well, they have they have ones for old people, too.

1:28:21🔗 Drew Yeah, depends. Justin, I got to tell you, if you don't want to do this, then you have to realize that if you do, you're teaching her that if she asks enough times, you're going to do it.

1:28:31🔗 Caller Yeah, I mean, there's other things that she's wanted. We've done and I'm just like, you know, that's cool. But that's kind of well, like what? Oh, like tie her up. You know, I mean, we've been together for a while. She's kind of, you know, she's kind of a freaky chick.

1:28:42🔗 Adam Hey, Justin, has she had a little trauma in her past, a little confusion?

1:28:47🔗 Caller No, she's her parents and everything are cool. I mean, she's a, you know, she's a little rich girl, but I mean, other than that.

1:28:54🔗 Adam Naughty. Where's this coming from, you think?

1:28:57🔗 Caller I have no idea. I'm kind of wondering, I mean, does it mean she wants kids or something?

1:29:01🔗 Adam I mean. No, how's she going to have kids? You're just going to fill yourself up with semen and then she's going to have to change you and wipe your ass down and powder you, burp you.

1:29:12🔗 Caller Oh, dude. Oh, that's.

1:29:13🔗 Adam All right, listen, Justin, here's the deal. Don't do it because you don't want to do it. And I agree with Jay, you're setting kind of a dangerous precedent and it's a little bit of a slippery slope. Once you start in on stuff, you'll just keep going. And you should take a good look at this one. Yeah. She wants to die. That's right. You want her to be the mother of your children. She wants you in a diaper. She wants to be tied up. There's a little something cooking with her. I know you're just calling it kinky, but there's a little more, a little more to that. Aaron? You're 26.

1:29:52🔗 Jay McGraw Oh, hi, doctor. I'm sorry, not doctor.

1:29:55🔗 Adam Well, between the two of us.

1:29:56🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah. Hey, I'm also a poet and I have a poet poem I want to read to you.

1:30:02🔗 Adam Oh, I don't know. It's not as fun. Oh, how short is it? How short is it?

1:30:08🔗 Jay McGraw It's pretty short and you can put it in your kid's book if you like. Is it clean?

1:30:12🔗 Adam Make it, make it quick and it doesn't involve a guy from Nantucket. No?

1:30:18🔗 Jay McGraw All right, here we go.

1:30:19🔗 Adam What's it about first? What inspired you to write it?

1:30:20🔗 Drew You got a little set up here.

1:30:22🔗 Jay McGraw I don't know. This, this vision of this kid just popped in my head and I just started writing about him. His name is Johnny Wonder.

1:30:30🔗 Drew This isn't incriminating, is it?

1:30:31🔗 Jay McGraw No, it's not.

1:30:32🔗 Adam Go ahead. I'll give you 15 seconds, right?

1:30:36🔗 Jay McGraw Little Johnny Wonder was under the utter of a cow named Buttercup Bell. He was there, of course, because under a horse there's nothing that drinks too well. As he squirmed a squirt of milky white Marth and his cheeks began to swell, he leaped from his trap. I think something stinks, as Buttercup winked and realized he was lying in crap.

1:30:56🔗 Adam That's nice.

1:30:58🔗 Drew Poetry at its finest.

1:30:59🔗 Adam You do need to work with kids here.

1:31:01🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah.

1:31:02🔗 Adam That's wonderful.

1:31:04🔗 Jay McGraw Thanks. I still got problems though.

1:31:06🔗 Adam What are they?

1:31:07🔗 Jay McGraw Yeah. You don't say. Well, I'm going out with a lot of girls right now. Some of them are really hot and all, but I just can't seem to get into any of them.

1:31:19🔗 Adam Really?

1:31:19🔗 Jay McGraw Not literally, but I don't seem to get emotionally attached to any of them.

1:31:26🔗 Adam Right.

1:31:27🔗 Jay McGraw But yet, I'm not really just doing it for the action.

1:31:31🔗 Adam Right.

1:31:31🔗 Jay McGraw I'm kind of searching, but-

1:31:33🔗 Adam Right. Well, listen, I see what the attraction is with all these ladies. They look at you as a Jack Kerouac, Jim Morrison type except for you sing about cows cramping on people instead of Native Americans.

1:31:45🔗 Drew Did you win them over with the poetry, Aaron?

1:31:48🔗 Jay McGraw A little bit, yeah. I got some serious- No, no.

1:31:51🔗 Adam You must be really good looking. You must be some kind of good looking.

1:31:55🔗 Jay McGraw Well, like-

1:31:56🔗 Adam Okay, just listen. Listen, you can't be intimate. You're dealing with a lot of people and you're trying to avoid the intimate process, right? Would you agree with that, Aaron?

1:32:07🔗 Jay McGraw That I'm avoiding the intimate process?

1:32:09🔗 Adam Yeah, by dating a lot of people at once.

1:32:12🔗 Jay McGraw Well, I'm kind of in a searching mode.

1:32:15🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, then keep searching.

1:32:17🔗 Adam Okay. Listen, I mean, you're 26, you're a guy, and there's not too many guys that are too good at this at 26.

1:32:24🔗 Drew All right?

1:32:24🔗 Adam But the fact that you're dating a bunch of people and a little bit freaked out means you're a little bit scared to get close. Anyone disappoint you at any point in your life?

1:32:34🔗 Jay McGraw Like you mean...

1:32:35🔗 Adam Eh, does your mom leave the family or screw with you or anything like that?

1:32:39🔗 Jay McGraw Oh, well, my parents were divorced when I was three.

1:32:42🔗 Adam Yeah. How's your mom?

1:32:45🔗 Jay McGraw She's doing really good. She used to be codependent. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

1:32:49🔗 Adam All right. I don't know what that means, but...

1:32:51🔗 Jay McGraw I'm not necessarily afraid of intimacy with any of them because, like, I enjoy it and everything. I just... Every time I go out with someone, I seem to kind of hone in on something that really bothers me. Yeah.

1:33:03🔗 Adam Okay. But when I say scared of intimacy, I don't mean scared of getting a BJ. I mean scared of having a real relationship with a real person. And you pick on these people, you find flaws in them, so that you have a good reason not to be intimate. I don't mean sex. I mean have a real, meaningful relationship. Excuse me one second, Jay, because we got to go. And I got to just say hi to Tom who's been on hold for a thousand years. Hey, Tom? Tom, you're 20. He's been on hold for 78 minutes.

1:33:34🔗 Drew Tom, wake up, man.

1:33:37🔗 Adam Oh, he passed out. That's great radio, Jay. We've never had anyone pass out in the five-year history of the show. And tonight you put him to sleep.

1:33:45🔗 Drew Way to go, Tom.

1:33:45🔗 Adam God bless you, buddy.

1:33:46🔗 Drew Thank you, man.

1:33:46🔗 Adam Thanks for the help in the ratings.

1:33:48🔗 Drew No problem.

1:33:48🔗 Adam We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

1:33:50🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:33:53🔗 Caller Radio Loveline will be right back.

1:33:56🔗 Caller Tonight, Loveline is brought to you by Car Toys on 94.7 NRK. The New Rock Alternative.

1:34:14🔗 Caller Hi, this is Brendan from Weedis and you're listening to Loveline on 947-NRK.

1:34:25🔗 Caller Nip.

1:34:26🔗 Adam There you go, everybody. Another fabulous show. I want to thank Jay McGraw for coming in here tonight, and really doing a bang-up job. I don't know.

1:34:33🔗 Drew Had fun.

1:34:34🔗 Adam I imagine this is your first two-hour radio gig, right?

1:34:37🔗 Drew Pretty much, yeah.

1:34:38🔗 Adam And really, you just took to it like a fish to water. That Drew better watch out. He's got young Jay nipping at his heels. All right. The name of the book is Life Strategies for Teens. It's on the New York Times bestseller list. So if you're a teen and you need some strategy, go out there and get that. The great Kathy Griffin will be in here tomorrow night. We'll figure out what's up with her sponsored wedding. And newsflash, Dr. Drew is it? Yes. We'll be back here tomorrow night too. So we have two guests. It's going to be a real tour de force tomorrow night. So Jay, thanks a lot.

1:35:17🔗 Drew Adam, thank you.

1:35:18🔗 Adam And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Jay McCraw. Saying mahalo.

1:35:24🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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