Monday, February 5, 2001

7:06🔗 Dr. Marcel 10-9-8-7-6.

7:14🔗 Voiceover Love Line is meant for an adult audience.

7:17🔗 Voiceover Love Line may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

7:33🔗 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Marcel. Dr. Marcel is filling in for Dr. Bruce, who was filling in for Dr. Drew. No, Dr. Marcel is filling in for Dr. Bruce, and I'm sorry, Dr. Drew, I can't get Bruce out of my mind because I've seen him like three days in a row. Bruce and I went down to the drag races in Pomona on Sunday.

7:55🔗 There's a male bonding experience.

7:57🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. He knows a lot about the motor sports too because he said, well, there's the funny cars and then there's the long ones. He was referring to the dragsters of the rails as the long ones. There's a guy who spent a little too much time in the biology class and not enough time at the street races in Van Nuys. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Facts number 310-840-405-1. Dr. Drew will be back tomorrow night?

8:26🔗 No.

8:28🔗 Adam No. Julie's serving. Dr. J will be filling in tomorrow night for Dr. Drew. Now, I'm really getting my doctors confused. Now, who's in tomorrow night? We have a third one. I see. But who's the doctor who's in tomorrow night is what I'm asking. Ah, I see. Okay. I got it.

8:46🔗 You just need a wheel. Just spin it like a doctor.

8:48🔗 Adam Someone has to hold down the fort around here. All right. Anyway, Dr. Marcel is board certified. He's a plastic surgeon. You're not an MD, are you?

8:58🔗 Well, of course.

8:59🔗 Adam You are? Yeah. Well, I mean, oh, an internist is what I meant.

9:03🔗 No, not an internist. Just a surgeon.

9:05🔗 Adam I'm sorry. Right. And you could, could you take out an appendix?

9:09🔗 I probably still remember how.

9:10🔗 Adam Have you done it before? Oh, yeah.

9:12🔗 No. Most plastic surgeons do residencies before they go into plastic surgery, and I did mine in general surgery.

9:17🔗 Adam Right. So that's like, it's a specialty plastic surgery. You don't begin medical school being a plastic surgeon. No, no.

9:25🔗 It's a sub-specialization.

9:27🔗 Adam Right. And I'll tell you what. Tonight, tonight what we can do is if you have questions about plastic surgery, or, you know, general medical questions we'll take, but I think we should focus on plastic surgery because that is Dr. Marcel's field of expertise. And he can answer any questions, breast reduction, breast augmentation. Did I mention breast augmentation?

9:50🔗 Did you mention breast augmentation?

9:51🔗 Adam Breast augmentation and anything you're into, lipo, laser, removal, nose jobs, whatever it is. What's popular now?

10:00🔗 The most popular procedures in the United States right now are liposection and breast augmentation, one, two.

10:05🔗 Adam And how's that lipo working? Have they worked out a few of the bugs in it? Were there ever bugs in it?

10:11🔗 Well, when it first started out, they were using bigger tubes. And so a lot of people were getting rippling and divoting under the skin and all. But now we've gone to using smaller hollow metal tubes. Plus, we're also pumping in a bunch of saltwater with adrenaline called a tumescent technique to make the fat removal less bloody. So you're taking out more fat and less blood.

10:32🔗 Adam Right. And you know, some I didn't know, although I never really thought about it too much, is I always assumed when you remove the fat that the fat would then eventually come back. But you're removing the fat cells.

10:42🔗 Right. You're removing the fat cells. And so if you keep your weight fairly stable, the fat will never come back in the area from where you removed it. If you gain weight after the procedure, you'll tend to gain it in a little different distribution.

10:54🔗 Adam Right.

10:54🔗 Say you did it, say as a guy, I did it, I had it done to myself about six, seven years ago on my love handles.

11:01🔗 Adam Right.

11:01🔗 I weigh about 10 pounds more now than I did then, but I just have a little bit more generalized distribution. I don't have the love handles anymore.

11:08🔗 Adam Right. You're saying like what LiPo would be for is, if you're a person that was in relatively decent shape, you had fat deposits like let's say the love handles, and it wouldn't go away.

11:18🔗 Right.

11:19🔗 Adam No matter how much exercise you did, that's where you stored your fat.

11:22🔗 Yeah.

11:23🔗 Adam You couldn't really make a dent on that.

11:24🔗 It's diet resistant.

11:27🔗 Adam And that's true. Right.

11:27🔗 There are areas in men and women that are notoriously diet resistant. In women, it's certainly parts of their abdomen and their thighs, and in men, it's your abdomen and love handles.

11:36🔗 Adam And what about, do you ever do light ball on the face, like double chin?

11:39🔗 You can. You can. You have to be a little careful there because if you take too much out, then you can get some irregularities that are seen under the skin because the skin there is not too thick. Right. And if it gets a lot of fat under the chin, then you might get some skin sag. It depends on how old the person is.

11:55🔗 Adam Right. Because the skin, as long as it's last entered, will not snap back.

11:59🔗 Right. But not everybody uses liposuction that's tried diet and exercise. Some people use it to kind of jump start them into a better thing. You know, everyone that's tried to diet, you're real good for a week or two and you lose a quarter pound and you say, oh screw, you know, and you're depressed and so you go back off the wagon. I have a lot of patients that come and they use this as kind of a motivational tool.

12:21🔗 Adam And how much is like a love handle liposuction?

12:25🔗 How much money wise? It would depend on if you did it under local anesthesia, you did it under general. I, being a surgeon, with a surgeon's background, I prefer having the people asleep because it's just easier for me to work without having to worry if they're feeling anything.

12:38🔗 Adam It's easier to get at their wallet when they're out. Yeah, yeah. The pants are in the dressing room. You have your staff combing through their pants.

12:44🔗 Yeah, and you know, and that's when I can have Sancho, my assistant, do the actual procedure, you know. I can just sit back and count the money.

12:52🔗 Adam Right, you can actually go rifle through their underpants. Right. While Sancho... Exactly... .the day labor you picked up on the way in can do the work. All right. So, now, but how much is something like that?

13:04🔗 Depending upon the number of areas and how long you think it's going to take, it can run anywhere from $2,500 on up.

13:12🔗 Adam Really? I'm surprised because I figured it would be a little bit cheaper than that. It doesn't seem as involved as some of the other procedures. Right.

13:20🔗 No, not really. I mean, by the time you factor in the operating room and the surgeon's fees and if there is an anesthesia fee, it starts right up to $2,500 and up.

13:29🔗 Adam Local being less in general, right? All right. Let's hop on the phones again. Dr. Marcel is a board certified plastic surgeon. If you have any questions of that nature tonight, now would be a good time to call. Nick? Nick? Hello? Yes, Nick. What's up?

13:48🔗 Hey, what's up?

13:48🔗 Adam You're 17. Go ahead.

13:50🔗 Caller First of all, I just want to say, Adam, you're really awesome.

13:53🔗 Adam Thank you.

13:53🔗 Caller I was wondering when you're going to have that guest, Dr. Drew, back on?

13:56🔗 The guest?

13:58🔗 Adam Oh, hold on. Ann says she booked, she's holding the note up. She said she booked Drew for Wednesday, Thursday this week. Okay. Dr. Drew, is it? Yeah.

14:08🔗 Caller Yeah, Drew.

14:08🔗 Adam I don't know his last name, but he should be coming in Wednesday, Thursday.

14:12🔗 Caller Is he any good?

14:12🔗 Adam This week. As I recall- He hasn't confirmed yet. Oh, he hasn't confirmed? Ann says he hasn't confirmed. She doesn't want me to talk about it. She's still trying to get in touch with his publicist. We'll keep our fingers crossed and we'll see if Drew can't make a guest appearance Wednesday, Thursday night on Loveline.

14:26🔗 Caller All right. My question is-

14:29🔗 Adam Then, of course, he'll give some dates out where he's going to be around the country instead of here. All right.

14:33🔗 Caller A few weeks ago, I was going down on my girlfriend and I threw up, not directly in her vagina, but around there. Sure. Now, she says she has kind of a rash.

14:45🔗 Adam Yeah. I don't know what country you're from, but it's considered bad etiquette in the United States to vomit on one's vagina.

14:52🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm African. I see.

14:54🔗 Adam So it's good where you're from?

14:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:56🔗 Adam I see. You didn't throw up in the vagina as if it was one of those air sickness sacks.

15:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:02🔗 Adam Coach, but you threw up-

15:04🔗 Caller Around it.

15:05🔗 Adam Around it.

15:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:06🔗 Adam Nice. Like she just- her vagina had entered some kind of pieting contest or something. Yeah. And now she has a rash. Yeah. What do you think about that, Marcel?

15:16🔗 Caller Well, I kind of doubt that it's directly related to the puking event there unless he had like pretty acidic stomach contents.

15:25🔗 Adam Well, they're usually-

15:25🔗 Caller So it's a chemical bird maybe.

15:27🔗 Adam Right. But it wouldn't be any infection caused by- No. Whatever's in there. All right. But it is a sensitive area around there. But again, this is just the skin around the vagina, right?

15:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:37🔗 Adam All right. Well, maybe it's more of an emotional thing.

15:41🔗 Caller She may just have a little dermatitis or a little bit of irritation of the skin from just sexual contact, not necessarily related to him blowing chow on her there. But-

15:51🔗 Adam Hey, Nick.

15:52🔗 Caller She'll probably still get it checked.

15:53🔗 Adam Why did you do that?

15:55🔗 Caller Why did I throw up?

15:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

15:57🔗 Caller I don't know. It was just like my first time.

15:59🔗 Adam I see. Yeah. It'll get better. Yeah. You'll be fine.

16:04🔗 Caller Alright. Thanks.

16:04🔗 Adam Alright there, buddy.

16:05🔗 Caller Bye.

16:06🔗 Alright.

16:07🔗 Adam That's a-

16:08🔗 Caller It's an attractive picture.

16:09🔗 Adam Yeah, it is. And it's got to leave a scar with a woman.

16:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:13🔗 Adam I mean, a woman is not soon going to forget that.

16:15🔗 Caller Alright.

16:16🔗 Adam Let's pile through some of these calls. Melody?

16:18🔗 Hi.

16:18🔗 Adam You're 26?

16:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:20🔗 Adam What's up?

16:21🔗 Caller I'm 26. How we were raised, like, I have a religious background and I never, like, I didn't, I was raised like a tomboy, kind of, and I didn't, I wasn't really into guys until like 19, 20 years old. And then the guys around here, I was never, I've never, I'm still a virgin, pretty much what I'm trying to say. And I've never, ever had, like, a sexual desire toward anybody.

16:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

16:42🔗 Caller And now I've been seeing, not seeing, like, dating or anything, but just, it's a guy at work and he really likes me. And I like him, like, his personality and everything about him, but I just, there's, like, no tingles, no, nothing like that, but I do like him.

16:55🔗 Adam You don't get your cookie flipped very easily, though, do you?

16:58🔗 Caller No.

16:59🔗 Adam What's the farthest you've got with a guy?

17:01🔗 Caller Not far at all.

17:03🔗 Adam Like, what base?

17:04🔗 Caller Kissing. That's it? That's it.

17:06🔗 Caller Did you enjoy it?

17:07🔗 Caller I felt naughty, like, bad, like, I, I was just doing it with him to see if I was okay, like, if I could do it.

17:15🔗 Adam How long ago was this?

17:17🔗 Caller I was 22.

17:19🔗 Adam 22, and that was your first and only kiss?

17:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:21🔗 Adam What's up?

17:23🔗 Caller I'm hoping you can, like...

17:24🔗 Adam Well, all right, let's do a little exploration. Are you religious?

17:29🔗 Caller No, no, my family, my family background is Islamic, but we never, I went to the mosque or anything like that, like, no female circumcision with us or anything like that.

17:37🔗 Adam I see. And anybody ever do anything to you? I mean...

17:41🔗 Caller Physically, yes, like, sexually never, but physically, like, I was really abused by my dad and my older brother.

17:47🔗 Adam They beat on you?

17:48🔗 Caller Really bad.

17:49🔗 Adam Oh, really bad?

17:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:51🔗 Adam Well, there you go. That's it.

17:53🔗 Caller There's a bit of a legacy there.

17:54🔗 Caller But I don't, like, when I think of it, like, I don't, like, oh, like, I'm ruined, and I'm never, like, I'm looking forward to hopefully having a relationship, and I'm like, I don't hate...

18:02🔗 Adam Well, sure, but let's wait till we're in our 40s. That's not going to be hasty here. What is that, how's that hymen of yours? That's kind of like an old baseball now. I mean, that's like an old mitt from the turn of the century when Shoeless Joe played with. Do you still have a hymen?

18:23🔗 Yeah, I guess.

18:24🔗 Caller I guess I do.

18:25🔗 Caller Were you brought up to think that sex was bad?

18:27🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah. And like, the only guys we ever, I was ever around pretty much were my kind, like our ethnic background.

18:35🔗 Adam What is your ethnic background?

18:37🔗 Caller We're Bosnian.

18:38🔗 Adam Uh-huh, yeah. And that's a big mess over there. It's tough to be a chick in that part of the world.

18:44🔗 Caller I was born and raised here, though.

18:45🔗 Adam I know, but guess who born and raised you? Johnny Bosnian and his a-hole brother. Listen, your dad beat on you and made you feel like a second-class citizen. Yes, yes. Now you're freaked out. Are you out of the house?

19:02🔗 Caller Yeah, this house, yeah.

19:03🔗 Adam Good. You got out too late, though.

19:05🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah.

19:06🔗 Adam All right.

19:07🔗 Caller Well, I was hoping, like, I don't know, because we have a big family, and I was hoping, like, whatever, like, the Prince Charming would come in, like, it would, it could be, you know, leave the house in an honorable way where I can just marry someone.

19:17🔗 Adam Well, that stuff, it's fine to move out of the house without getting married. Jesus, talk about honorable. You're 26, you're still a virgin. You've barely been to first base.

19:28🔗 Caller You need to date and just meet a lot of different guys and try to find somebody that...

19:33🔗 Caller Well, what's counting, not to catch you off guard, but what's counting me is I really like this guy.

19:37🔗 Caller But you feel nothing for him.

19:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:40🔗 Adam Well, yeah, but you're not capable of feeling anything for anybody right now. I mean physically, sexually. All right, but let me, let me say something to you and all the other folks that are listening to this show. It's important in life to go against your grain once in a while. That's what emotional growth is about. If you just did whatever you wanted to do all the time, you wouldn't get anywhere. You experience zero growth emotionally. And I know people, sex is supposed to be a natural thing, but there's a lot of things that are supposed to be natural for a lot of people that aren't for a lot of people, depending on how your love is supposed to be a natural thing. But if you grew up an abusive dad or abusive mom or alcoholics or whatever, love, intimacy, it's going to be something you have a hard time with. And it's going to be something that you're going to have to maybe even sort of discipline yourself to do. Now once you get the ball rolling, it's going to be okay. So if she doesn't experience anything for this guy, fine, push yourself. Go out with them anyway. If you go on a couple of dates and it didn't feel that great, so what, go on another one. You have to force yourself to start living. You have to kickstart your life. Once you get it rolling, that will be it. And I give that hymen a week after you get rolling, it will be gone. These a-hole dads. Steve, I like when the brother gets into the act.

20:57🔗 Caller Oh yeah.

20:58🔗 Adam He's your dad and brother.

21:00🔗 Caller He loves you better than your own family.

21:01🔗 Adam Oh yeah, I bet that brother is a wonderful father and husband to some very lucky woman right now. Steve?

21:07🔗 Caller Hey Adam, what is that, like seven months on your pristine penis?

21:10🔗 Adam That's right. That's when Marcel was here last, when he checked my pristine penis.

21:15🔗 Caller Is it still pristine?

21:17🔗 Adam Almost no mileage since you saw it last.

21:20🔗 Caller Really?

21:20🔗 Adam Yeah, that I haven't inflicted myself. What's up Steve?

21:24🔗 Caller First off, I've got a present for you.

21:27🔗 Adam I smell a fart coming up.

21:30🔗 Caller There we are.

21:31🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, I'm Yuri Geller everybody. Thank you Steve.

21:36🔗 Caller You're welcome.

21:36🔗 Adam Was that real?

21:37🔗 Caller Yeah, it was.

21:38🔗 Adam Nice.

21:39🔗 Caller Kind of wet but...

21:39🔗 Adam Yeah, no that's fine.

21:42🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm just...

21:43🔗 Caller I'm not real overweight.

21:44🔗 Caller I'm about 6'2, maybe 2'15, and I'm kind of built, but it's just my pecs haven't really formed. They're kind of floppy and I just wanted to know if I could get some sort of like breast reduction surgery at all, you know.

21:56🔗 Caller And you're 16?

21:57🔗 Caller Yeah, if that was okay for guys to do or...

21:59🔗 Caller Yeah, well, I mean, it's not so much like a real breast reduction, but if you've got too much development in that area, it can be something related to what's called gynecomastia, which is excessive breast tissue development in men. It's fairly common around the time of puberty in young boys, and in some men, it doesn't go away. It's like a temporary hormonal glitch that never then quite goes away so that the breast tissue stays developed. The only way you can get rid of that is by having that surgically removed.

22:29🔗 Adam For some guys, well, for all guys, muscles kind of develop at different times. Do you know what I'm saying?

22:35🔗 Caller Right.

22:35🔗 Adam Would you say the chest is sort of one of the last ones? Yeah. Meaning like your arms and your legs seem to develop faster than a guy's chest?

22:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

22:44🔗 Adam And maybe you ought to give it a couple of years where it turns out?

22:47🔗 Caller At 16, I wouldn't tell him to go have surgery. But if it's to the point where it's really a deterrent for him, he's not leaving the house with two, three t-shirts on, he won't go to the gym and stuff, it's probably something he should at least be evaluated for by a plastic surgeon. Because those self-esteem issues can run pretty deep. This is kind of a critical young age.

23:08🔗 Adam Yeah, a lot of guys have this gynochemastia. I mean, I've been hearing more and more about it recently. For a guy, that's a serious bummer.

23:17🔗 Caller Yeah, and it can be from a lot of reasons. Most of the time, you don't really find a cause, that's why it's called idiopathic. But sometimes it's related to medications you're on, can be related to smoking a lot of dope. For all you chronic pot smokers out there who's watching your boobs get bigger.

23:32🔗 Adam Yeah, but I mean, could there be anything better if you're a chronic dope smoker? I mean, just sit home and feel yourself up? Yeah. Well, yeah, I could have done with some boobs in high school. It would have been nice to see what they felt like. All right, let's see, Bianca?

23:47🔗 Yeah.

23:48🔗 Adam What's up? You're 20.

23:50🔗 Caller Okay, I'm having issues getting over my ex-boyfriend. We've been on and off for about four years, and he's a total jerk, and I don't understand how come I'm just so into this guy. Yeah, and I really, really feel that I need to get out of it, and I'm not doing so well, so I wanted to know if there's a possibility I could get somehow hypnotized so that I can, like, forget about him.

24:13🔗 Adam Yeah, that's kind of worthless. What are you, 20?

24:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

24:17🔗 Adam How long have you been with him?

24:19🔗 Caller About four years.

24:20🔗 Adam Yeah, you can't get... Are you broken up now?

24:23🔗 Caller Yeah, we're broken up now, but I want to totally stay away. I don't want him...

24:26🔗 Adam All right, well, good. Don't do it.

24:28🔗 Well, it's easier said than done.

24:30🔗 Caller Why?

24:31🔗 Well, because he's just like...

24:33🔗 Caller If he's such a jerk, why do you want him back in your life?

24:35🔗 Caller Like, he wasn't such a jerk, like, all the time, but...

24:38🔗 Caller But enough.

24:39🔗 Caller It's best that I stay away, and if I can't, he's, like, addicting.

24:42🔗 Adam Yeah, because your dad's a jackass?

24:44🔗 Caller No, my dad's not a jackass.

24:46🔗 Adam Really?

24:47🔗 Caller No.

24:48🔗 Adam Why are you attracted to an idiot if your dad's not an idiot?

24:52🔗 Caller Honestly, I don't know.

24:53🔗 Caller I don't know what's wrong with me.

24:54🔗 Adam Well, what kind of guy is your dad just for fun?

24:57🔗 Dr. Marcel Oh, my dad's a really good guy.

24:58🔗 Adam Really?

24:59🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah, a really great guy.

25:01🔗 Adam Is he dead?

25:02🔗 Caller Yeah, he's funny.

25:04🔗 Caller He's like the smartest man I've ever met.

25:07🔗 Caller He loves me a lot.

25:08🔗 Caller He supports me in everything I do.

25:10🔗 Adam Wait a minute. From the grave? Is he dead or alive?

25:13🔗 Caller No, he's alive. He's very much alive.

25:16🔗 Adam I see. I thought you said he was dead.

25:17🔗 Caller He told me. He warned me. He said that he didn't want me to go through this relationship with my ex and then be so scarred that I won't recognize love when it really comes through me. Yeah. Yeah, and I really want to get out of this pattern, so I don't end up getting so scarred like that.

25:31🔗 Adam Well, how's your mom?

25:34🔗 Caller She's cool.

25:35🔗 Adam Yeah, you don't like her?

25:36🔗 Caller No, I love my mom.

25:37🔗 Adam You're good. You love your mom. You love your dad.

25:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:40🔗 Adam No alcoholism in the family?

25:41🔗 Dr. Marcel No, they're great people.

25:43🔗 Caller My mom's a good Catholic.

25:45🔗 Dr. Marcel She raised me to be Catholic.

25:47🔗 Adam What kind of truck does your dad drive?

25:50🔗 Caller How did you know my dad drives a truck?

25:52🔗 Adam Because I smelt the guy who was on the road.

25:55🔗 Caller Oh, no, no, no.

25:55🔗 Caller Oh, my goodness.

25:56🔗 Caller No, no, no, no. He drives a Ford F-150.

25:59🔗 Caller No, not that truck.

26:00🔗 Caller My dad's at home a lot.

26:02🔗 Adam I see. What does he do? Construction?

26:04🔗 Caller No, no, no.

26:05🔗 Caller He works at North American Chemical Company.

26:06🔗 Adam Aha. A chemist.

26:08🔗 Caller No, he's not a chemist. He's a coal barn operator.

26:11🔗 Adam He's a what?

26:12🔗 Caller Coal barn operator. You know, coals and fossil fuels. Right.

26:16🔗 Adam What was the second word?

26:18🔗 Dr. Marcel Barn. Coal barn operator.

26:20🔗 Caller Coal barn.

26:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Oh, sure.

26:22🔗 Adam Yeah, I remember as a kid, we used to go play in the coal barn. What? There was a shop at the mall called the coal barn.

26:28🔗 Caller Okay.

26:29🔗 Adam One of my favorite watering holes was named after a coal barn. I see. All right. So he works at the coal barn.

26:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:35🔗 Adam All right. So you love your parents very much.

26:37🔗 Caller Oh, I love them.

26:37🔗 Adam And no trauma growing up. Nobody was...

26:39🔗 Caller No, just the only trauma that came about was when they really wanted me to, you know, break up with my boyfriend. And I really tried.

26:46🔗 I tried to stay away from him.

26:47🔗 Adam All right.

26:48🔗 Caller Do you like yourself?

26:50🔗 Caller I mean, do you have problems with you don't like the way you look or do you think you're not pretty or...

26:55🔗 Caller Yeah...

26:56🔗 Caller .you know, your self-esteem issues?

26:58🔗 Caller I guess so, yeah.

26:59🔗 Adam What's up? Were you overweight at some point?

27:03🔗 Caller When I was a little kid, yeah.

27:04🔗 I was a little chunky.

27:05🔗 All right.

27:06🔗 Adam Well, then we're kind of getting somewhere. See, you don't feel that good about yourself. And you got a guy who's beaten up on you.

27:12🔗 Not physically.

27:13🔗 All right.

27:14🔗 Adam But emotionally. And you're going back for more.

27:17🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm trying to stay away.

27:19🔗 Adam Yeah. All right.

27:20🔗 Caller It's not even a question of trying to stay away.

27:22🔗 Adam Just stay away. It's been some time now, right? You don't think you can find another guy?

27:29🔗 Caller I hope so.

27:30🔗 Adam I bet you could. You certainly can find another A-hole. That's easy.

27:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:37🔗 Adam Are you calling from Northridge?

27:38🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

27:39🔗 Adam That place is packed with A-holes.

27:41🔗 Caller It is. It's all, though.

27:42🔗 Adam Yeah. It's like the A-hole capital of the world, Northridge. I used to work out that way. There's more A-holes per block, per city block in Northridge, than only rivaled by Chanceworth, which is right next door. But sometimes some of the A-holes from Chanceworth blow across the border in the Northridge. It's a lovely, lovely town, especially during the summer.

28:02🔗 Caller I've had offers and I'm not interested.

28:06🔗 Adam All right. All right. Listen, Bianca, you're 20, you're a big girl now. I don't feel sorry for you. No one sexually abused you. No one physically abused you. Your dad's a nice guy. He worked at the old coal barn. So that's it. You're out. Stay out. Now it's time to take a stand. You're a woman now. Be strong. Don't take that weak path. All right? You know what you're doing. Hey, you were fat five years ago. Big deal. Jesus, that stuff, that sticks out. You take somebody who was overweight in junior high and high school and I don't give a rat's ass what they look like as an adult. I don't care if they're the best looking specimen. Best looking physical specimen in the United States. They still look at themselves as that screwed up fat eighth grader.

28:48🔗 Caller Scars run deep.

28:48🔗 Adam Yeah, that's the kind of chick you can score with. That's what I'm looking for. All right, we'll take ourselves a break. Dr. Marcel filling in for Dr. Drew tonight. All right, if you have questions that have to do with plastic surgery, he's the expert. Tonight's the night to call. We'll be back.

29:05🔗 Caller Hello? Is this Loveline?

29:06🔗 Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

29:36🔗 Adam Yeah, it's a good radio, right? Chug a half gallon of water right before the show starts. It is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Marcel. Dr. Marcel is filling in for Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, I hear, and again, don't write this in in pen, but just pencil it in, maybe in Wednesday and Thursday this week. So Ann says she has to confirm it with this publicist, but we're looking forward to booking Dr. Drew on the show later in this week. So that's something we can all look forward to. Dr. Marcel is a board certified plastic surgeon. He has done it all. And how many years' experience do you have, Marcel?

30:13🔗 Caller Eleven years now.

30:14🔗 Adam Eleven years. And Bruce, I'm sorry, still on Bruce, Drew really swears by your work. You guys are roommates, right?

30:22🔗 Caller Yeah. Roommates are senior year in medical school.

30:25🔗 Adam Why not junior year? How did you guys meet?

30:29🔗 Caller In class. I transferred in to SC and just met in a class. He had an opening in his condo that his parents had set him up in there.

30:40🔗 Adam That bastard.

30:41🔗 Caller Yeah, no, he had it good.

30:43🔗 Adam Oh, son of a bitch, he always cries the blues to me, telling me about driving a vintage Firebird wasn't cool back in 79.

30:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:52🔗 Adam I'm like, listen, looking like Dan Tanner in 79 wasn't cool. How dare you insult me while I was on a Enduro I bought out of the Recycler. All right. Phone number 1-800-DELLA-VE-191. Especially tonight, we're looking forward to your questions that have to do with plastic surgery. Let's talk to Lisa. Lisa?

31:14🔗 Caller Hello.

31:14🔗 Adam 22. What's up?

31:16🔗 Caller Well, I had a question about on Friday, I'm supposed to get a breath augmentation.

31:20🔗 But it's through transombolytically.

31:22🔗 Caller And the famous tuba.

31:24🔗 Adam Through the ass.

31:25🔗 That's what that means?

31:27🔗 Caller Through my belly button.

31:28🔗 Adam Right. Right up through the belly button, out the ass, and back in the ass, and right to the chest. Now, how does that work? How can you get something the right size up in there? Or do they inflate it once it's in you?

31:40🔗 Caller It's inflated once it's in. It's put in deflated. It's rolled up like a taco if you want, or you insert it through the tube or an endoscope.

31:49🔗 Adam Uh-huh. So they actually feed the endoscope right up through the navel, right to where they want it. I'm guessing that's over the muscle.

31:56🔗 Caller Well that's just it. Do you know if your implants are going to be on top of the muscle or under the muscle?

32:00🔗 They're going to be under the muscle.

32:01🔗 Caller Okay. Saline?

32:03🔗 Yes.

32:03🔗 Caller Round?

32:04🔗 Smooth, yes.

32:05🔗 Caller Smooth?

32:06🔗 Adam What's smooth? Oh, as opposed to the...

32:07🔗 Caller As opposed to the roughened ones, the textured ones?

32:09🔗 Yeah.

32:10🔗 Adam What's up with those textured ones?

32:12🔗 Caller Well, the textured ones are just designed to decrease the chance that the breast gets hard. They found in some studies that texturing the implants decreases the chance that you get excessive scar formation around the implant.

32:23🔗 Adam Well, why not go with the textured ones all the time, then?

32:26🔗 Caller Well, depending upon how much tissue you have to drape over it, sometimes the textured implants show a little bit more rippling.

32:31🔗 Adam I see.

32:31🔗 Caller You get some traction rippling.

32:33🔗 Adam Alright, so they do this endoscope up under the muscle and release this thing under the muscle? Yeah. Marcel's got a pus on. I know. It's bad.

32:43🔗 Caller Well, Lisa, I'll tell you, in plastic surgery, there's certainly more than one way of doing a procedure. And right now in plastic surgery, there's two camps of surgeons, one camp that thinks that it's more difficult to do a real precise dissection through an endoscope and do a real good job defining your inframammary crease and all. And I happen to belong to that group. I personally don't do it through the belly button. That's just my choice. I would, there's a very, very steep learning curve to that procedure. So I would make sure that whoever is offering to do it to you has done it a lot of times and can show you some really good pre and post-op pictures of patients that have gotten the implants under the muscle, you know, by him or her, and then even has to talk to some of them because I mean, you know, I'm not going to fault the guy if he can get a reproducible result through it. I just think it's more difficult. And I'll tell you that the regular scars that you get from doing it either through the nipple or under the breast or even in the armpit are certainly not not bad and sometimes almost invisible. So to me, it's like an operation looking for a reason to exist.

33:50🔗 Caller Because I'm getting it done by a surgeon who he said that he actually developed it.

33:54🔗 Caller You know something, let me just give you one bit of advice. I'm going to give everyone that's listening to this show one big bit of advice about plastic surgery. Anyone that says they're the only one that knows how to do it or that they do the ones that developed it, they're blowing smoke up your ass most of the time. You know, ask to show the scientific paper that he had published in plastic and reconstructive surgery. You know, I mean that to me sounds a bit arrogant.

34:18🔗 Caller Yeah, and he's like, all the tools are named after me.

34:21🔗 Caller Oh, sweet Jesus.

34:22🔗 Caller So I was like, oh, and I wasn't here because I talked to a lot of other plastic surgeons and almost everything I want to talk to said, oh, I don't do that procedure because there's so much tissue to manipulate to get there.

34:32🔗 Caller Right, and I'm telling you right now, when you read your consent, there's going to be a big fat paragraph on there that says, in case we can't successfully complete the operation through the belly button, we'll then have to make the scar in the traditional location to salvage it.

34:45🔗 Caller Oh.

34:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:47🔗 Adam Are you freaking out? You're not high now, are you, Lisa?

34:50🔗 Caller No, I'm not. That's called you having to convert the procedure.

34:52🔗 Adam All right, let me ask you this, Marcel. She has this set to go on Friday. Tomorrow is Tuesday. If you're in her now, you put the fear of God into her and her new hoops. All I'm saying is maybe the guy's the greatest, but maybe he's not. What do you do if you're Lisa, starting tomorrow?

35:15🔗 Caller I'd probably want to talk to her off the air.

35:17🔗 Adam You would?

35:18🔗 Caller Yeah, just to find out.

35:19🔗 Adam I know pretty much a lot of people. Why don't we do that? Lisa?

35:23🔗 Caller Yes.

35:24🔗 Adam You want to hang out?

35:25🔗 Caller Yeah, I will.

35:25🔗 Adam All right. We'll put you on hold. Hey, Lauren, put Lisa on hold. Marcel's going to talk to her off the air because she wants to find out whether he knows a quack or not.

35:34🔗 Caller The other thing you can find out is just ask in your local community, find out if the plastic surgeon or whoever the surgeon is that's offering to do your surgery is credentialed at the hospital, if he's got privileges to do the procedures that he's or she is doing in his surgery center at the hospital.

35:49🔗 Adam I see.

35:50🔗 Caller You know, if you have your own little surgery center, I could do neurosurgery in a surgery center if I could get people to allow me to drill holes in their head.

35:56🔗 Adam Right.

35:56🔗 Caller But I can't get privileges as a neurosurgeon at a hospital because I'm not trained in it.

36:01🔗 Adam Let me ask Lisa, how much is he charging? Six thousand dollars. Six thousand.

36:05🔗 Caller I'm not charging enough.

36:07🔗 Adam No, you're charging plenty. Don't worry. Just because there's bigger a-holes than you doesn't mean you're not doing your job. Six grand. I guess it's then more through the belly button, right?

36:18🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm sure it is because it's a little more difficult to section.

36:21🔗 Adam And this is a newer thing.

36:24🔗 Caller Relatively newer.

36:25🔗 Adam But it's not the breakthrough that they would make it out to be.

36:28🔗 Caller No, of course not.

36:29🔗 Adam And scarring wise, what's your best bet, I mean, if you're going through a traditional route?

36:33🔗 Caller Arm pit? Actually, I like around the nipple. I think that gives a real hairline scar that nine times out of ten is practically unseeable.

36:42🔗 Adam Much better than the one underneath the breast.

36:44🔗 Caller Right, much.

36:45🔗 Adam Okay. And what's the easiest shot you have with the implant? Underneath the breast scar?

36:49🔗 Caller That's a little more direct approach, yeah.

36:51🔗 Adam And it seems like the arm pit would be a pretty good place to do it.

36:55🔗 Caller The arm pit is good, but you know something, especially in Southern California or in places where you're wearing a lot of sleeveless stuff, just the thought that you have an incision up there and maybe that if you put your arms up you're lying on the beach or something, people could see the scar.

37:06🔗 Adam Right. Yeah. Yeah, the arm pit one you can see without even actually taking your top off. Vanessa?

37:13🔗 Caller Hi.

37:13🔗 Adam You're 28. What's up?

37:15🔗 Caller I want to ask a couple of questions for Dr. Masal. The C-O-V-E section around your waist area, what's the most they can take off around there? Can you have children, can you bear children after you have it around the stomach area?

37:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:30🔗 Caller And also another question, just listening to the girl before, my chest is really nice right now but eventually I know they are going to drop but I don't want to get implants. Is there anything that can be done to lift them like later on when they fall after childbirth?

37:45🔗 Caller Sure. You can do what's called a mastopex or a breast lift that involves snugging up the skin envelope because the shape of your breast is determined by what fills it out and then the skin envelope.

37:55🔗 Adam I thought you said there wasn't a lift at one point when we were discussing this. No, no.

38:00🔗 Caller You can do lift. It just involves more scarring and that's the tradeoff for a lift.

38:05🔗 Caller Will the lift push everything to the top?

38:07🔗 Caller It will lift it up, yeah.

38:08🔗 Adam That shoves it to the side. Where would the scar for the lift be? Where you would assume it would be?

38:14🔗 Caller Well, up here? Yeah, I mean, but see the scar is designed so that eventually it's closed around the nipple. So the resulting scar is going to be around the nipple and then in some cases down the front of the breast and in the crease, kind of like an anchor and upside down T.

38:29🔗 Adam So it's like a breast reduction?

38:31🔗 Caller Correct.

38:31🔗 Adam But you're not doing a breast reduction?

38:32🔗 Caller All you're doing is taking skin.

38:34🔗 Adam Oh, so you're tightening the skin from down here.

38:36🔗 Caller Exactly.

38:37🔗 Adam You're not lifting it up. No. So it's a different, it's like you're squeezing on toothpaste.

38:41🔗 Caller Exactly, exactly.

38:42🔗 Adam Not pulling the blinds.

38:43🔗 Caller Right.

38:44🔗 Adam I should work for you.

38:45🔗 Caller I know.

38:46🔗 Adam Listen, I'm no surgeon. I have almost no training and almost pretty much an eighth grade education, but let me talk to you about what's going on.

38:52🔗 Caller But you've got hand to eye coordination. That's what you need.

38:54🔗 Adam Let me see those breasts, honey.

38:55🔗 Caller Now, and then sometimes if you don't need...

38:57🔗 Adam It's $100.

38:58🔗 Caller You don't need too much of a lift.

38:59🔗 Adam Cash, please. Sorry.

39:00🔗 Caller It's... You can make the scar just around the nipple.

39:03🔗 Caller About the waist, what's the most you can take off around the waist area?

39:07🔗 Caller You know, the field of liposuction got a couple of black eyes earlier in the late 90s when...

39:12🔗 Adam Hold on, they're letting black guys do this now?

39:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:15🔗 Adam Oh, you said... Oh, black eyes. I'm sorry, I was misunderstanding.

39:17🔗 Caller Yeah, and you know, there were... Plastic surgery sometimes is a lot like the Wild West and you know, want to be the biggest gunslinger and guys, you know, brag about how much fat they could take out of a sitting. And unfortunately, some patients died as a result of too much being done at one sitting.

39:32🔗 Adam What was it?

39:33🔗 Caller There's one doctor out here, like I'm not gonna say his name, but he says like anywhere from 15 to 25 pounds you can take off just in that one sitting.

39:38🔗 Caller Well, that's called maximum liposuction. And if anyone is offering to take off that much at one sitting, it probably should be done in a hospital setting with potentially an overnight stay. Right now, the American Society of Plastic Surgery, the recommended guidelines for safe outpatient liposuction on healthy patients is about five or six liters, which is about two and a half to three of those two liter Pepsi or Coke bottles.

40:06🔗 Adam What was the fat or what was the overall volume? Well that seems like it would be about 12 pounds or something. No, I'm talking 12.

40:14🔗 Caller Okay.

40:15🔗 Adam Wow, that seems like a lot of fat.

40:17🔗 Caller It can be.

40:18🔗 Adam Well how much, can you tell me like, I'll show you my love handle, right?

40:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:21🔗 Adam Can you tell me like what that is? Like right there. Yeah, like how much would that weigh there?

40:27🔗 Caller That's about three or four hundred cc's on each side.

40:31🔗 Adam Well what's that in poundage wise?

40:32🔗 Caller About a pound.

40:33🔗 Adam That's about a pound there?

40:34🔗 Caller Yeah. So about a pound on each side maybe.

40:36🔗 Adam Yeah. And what would you do? What would you charge me for that?

40:39🔗 Caller Oh, for you I'd do it just with the publicity.

40:41🔗 Adam Yeah, my ass. I went over there for a laser. It charged me a hundred bucks, you son of a bitch. I'd do it just with the pictures of you. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. Dr. Marcel this year, he's a plastic surgeon. He's actually going to speak to Lisa off the air about her boob implants. When we come back, we'll talk to you and get more questions. Again, Marcel filling in for Dr. Drew tonight and line up those plastic surgery questions after this. Hey, Loveline there, kiddies. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax 310-840-4051. Dr. Marcel, the plastic surgeon with a heart and a pinky ring, is doing our show tonight. He's filling in for Dr. Drew. He just got off the phone with, I believe it was Lisa was calling about that boob job via the navel. And Marcel may have known the surgeon that was doing it, so I didn't want to give him a quick check out over the phone. Did you know the guy? I don't want to get you into trouble, get him into trouble. Did you know the guy? Have you heard of him? Is it all right?

42:09🔗 Caller I'm not going to say anything anymore.

42:11🔗 Adam Not a great sign. All right. So you told her to...

42:15🔗 Caller I just told her to, if she's being told one thing by two or three or four plastic surgeons and then this one person is telling her something totally different, maybe she better go with safety and numbers.

42:26🔗 Adam Right. Right. Well, people obviously have an idea. I mean, like I said, the breast implants via the navel, I'm a guy and I'm thinking about getting it done. You know what I mean? It sounds pretty good. Sounds good. And it may be just a little too good to be true right now. Maybe.

42:44🔗 Caller All right.

42:45🔗 Adam Let's continue on and talk to Alexis. Who's 20? Alexis?

42:52🔗 Dr. Marcel Hi.

42:53🔗 Caller I have a problem with guys. I'm afraid of them.

42:56🔗 Adam Yeah. Why is that?

42:57🔗 Caller Because I have this boyfriend and like he beat me and like when I tried to leave him, he like chained me to a desk for three days. And like my family is really worried. And then they took me and they moved me to another state.

43:09🔗 Adam Really?

43:10🔗 Caller Yeah. And so like...

43:11🔗 Adam What kind of desk? School desk? Roll top?

43:13🔗 Caller It was like an armoire.

43:15🔗 Adam Well, that doesn't sound too bad.

43:16🔗 Caller It was really heavy and I couldn't get out.

43:18🔗 Adam I see. And he chained you.

43:19🔗 Caller It was a handcuff.

43:21🔗 Adam He cuffed you to the desk.

43:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:24🔗 Adam And then what did he do? Did he feed you?

43:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:27🔗 Adam And did he let you, you know, move around for an hour a day before he rechained you again?

43:31🔗 Caller Well, he just let me go to the bathroom, that's all.

43:33🔗 Adam And you slept there?

43:35🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

43:36🔗 Adam You stayed at night. You went to bed chained to a desk.

43:40🔗 Caller Armoire.

43:41🔗 Adam I mean armoire, sorry.

43:42🔗 I really didn't have a choice.

43:43🔗 Adam No, I'm not saying it was your fault. I'm just trying to figure out if you're literally handcuffed to this thing.

43:50🔗 Caller Literally handcuffed to the desk the whole time.

43:52🔗 Adam And when you got up to like go to the bathroom, you didn't want to make a break for it?

43:56🔗 Dr. Marcel There wasn't a way to make a break for it. There was no window in the bathroom.

43:59🔗 Adam I see. And then it was right back to the armoire.

44:02🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

44:02🔗 Caller It's called kidnapping.

44:03🔗 Adam Yeah, that's horrible. Now, did you call the cops?

44:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:07🔗 Adam And what did they do?

44:08🔗 Caller They couldn't find him.

44:11🔗 Adam And have they still not found him?

44:13🔗 Caller No.

44:14🔗 Adam Okay. And you moved to another state?

44:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:17🔗 Caller So he's out of your life?

44:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:19🔗 Caller My parents paid for me to move.

44:22🔗 So.

44:22🔗 Caller And I dropped my classes at Berkley.

44:24🔗 So.

44:25🔗 Caller So because of a really bad experience now, you don't trust other men?

44:29🔗 Caller Yeah. Like I get terrified of them because like I was molested when I was four.

44:34🔗 Adam There you go.

44:35🔗 And like this guy that came into the desk, he's like, oh, you enjoyed it, didn't you? And stuff like that.

44:39🔗 Caller And it just really screwed me up.

44:41🔗 Adam Now, the thing I can't figure out is it wasn't your dad who molested you.

44:46🔗 Caller Yeah, it was.

44:47🔗 Adam It was? But yet he paid for you to relocate later in life.

44:50🔗 Caller No, no, that's my stepdad. My real dad's dead.

44:53🔗 Adam I see. Oh, the guy who molested you?

44:56🔗 Yeah.

44:56🔗 Adam Oh, good. How did he die?

44:58🔗 He had a hepatitis.

45:00🔗 Adam Fantastic. So he was a junkie?

45:03🔗 No, he had a tattoo done in the late sixties.

45:06🔗 Adam Oh, good. Well, anyway, I'm glad he's dead. Anyone who molests their daughter deserves to die. So your stepdad's a decent guy?

45:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:15🔗 Adam But can you get anything from that? I mean, you see your stepdad's a decent guy. There's one guy out there.

45:21🔗 Caller Yeah, I guess. I just I can really say that it's going to be the same thing because I was raped when I was 19.

45:28🔗 Adam Right. By by the same guy chained you or another guy?

45:31🔗 Caller No, by my friend's dad.

45:33🔗 Adam Your friend's dad?

45:34🔗 Caller Yeah. I was I like got sick at her house.

45:37🔗 Caller I had food poisoning and I stayed over the night and like in the middle of the night he was like touching me and I threw up and then like I went to go take a shower and he raped me in the shower.

45:47🔗 Adam I see. Well, he could have been a doctor and who are we to question his techniques? All right. So the your life's been a disaster thus far?

45:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:56🔗 Adam Okay. But you understand there's a lot of guys out there. I mean, what about Drew and I was gonna say Marcel, but Bruce? There's a lot of real decent guys out there. You just have a little difficulty finding these guys, right?

46:10🔗 Yeah.

46:10🔗 Caller I just get panic attacks when like if there's a male nearby.

46:14🔗 Caller Have you gone into therapy?

46:16🔗 Yeah.

46:16🔗 Caller I'm in therapy right now and like she hasn't gone into that yet. She's just still dealing with the whole dad thing.

46:22🔗 Adam Well, what about perhaps getting on some medication going to a psychiatrist?

46:28🔗 Caller I mean, there's a lot of very good medication out there for panic attacks.

46:33🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, for someone who's been... I mean, basically what you probably have is like a post-traumatic stress disorder. I mean, if you look at your dad having sex with you at four, that's worse in Vietnam. It really is. Unless you're a Vietnamese kid, in which case you're getting it, you know. You're getting it from both ends now. You're in Vietnam and you're having sex with your dad. But I mean, this is something that may have changed your brain chemistry a little bit. And it's a good time for that because there's a lot of good medications out there that could help you. Right.

47:06🔗 Caller The current generation of serotonin uptake inhibitors and all have really revolutionized a lot of treating depression and anxiety and panic attacks. And you, if your therapist is a non-MD and is right now just helping you just talk about things, you may want to get a physician involved that's going to put you on something to help you out.

47:29🔗 Adam All right, so Alexis, next time you talk to your therapist, why don't you ask them about medication and about talking to a psychiatrist or physician who can get you on the medication and then you can balance that with your actual sort of verbal recovery, which is talking to your therapist.

47:47🔗 Caller Okay.

47:48🔗 Adam All right. Take care of yourself. And listen, if you're attracted to a guy, I want you to run the other way.

47:53🔗 Caller Okay.

47:54🔗 Adam You understand?

47:55🔗 Caller Well, I'm attracted to you, so that's kind of scary.

47:57🔗 Adam Oh. All right.

47:59🔗 Caller Good thing you're in Austin.

48:00🔗 Adam I wouldn't, if I chained you to an armoire, I'd give you like some 120 sandpaper and a staining brush to put you to work. I would just leave you there for 72 hours. All right. Take care of yourself. Bye-bye. All right. Oh, boy. That's fantastic. The molestation, the gift that never stops giving.

48:18🔗 Caller Just awful.

48:19🔗 Adam Yeah. Now, listen, you think I'm a bad guy that I'm happy your dad is dead? No. Good. That's what I love about you. No, no, no.

48:25🔗 Caller I'm...

48:25🔗 Adam Spare that Hippocratic oath.

48:26🔗 Caller That's right.

48:29🔗 Adam You're Jesse. You're 16. What's up?

48:32🔗 Caller Yeah. Hi.

48:33🔗 Caller Adam, I just want to say you are my ideal man.

48:36🔗 Adam Thank you.

48:37🔗 Caller Dang.

48:38🔗 Adam Scared to love.

48:39🔗 Caller I know you probably don't hear this from a lot of girls, but I love the man show.

48:43🔗 Adam Oh, fantastic.

48:46🔗 Caller Okay. Well, I have a very high sex drive, but every time I have an orgasm, it gives me cramps, like period cramps.

48:55🔗 Adam Mm-hmm. Who are you with when you have these orgasms?

48:59🔗 Caller Either with a guy or a girl or myself.

49:02🔗 Adam Well, I thought you were just going to say a goat or a monkey. I don't really do the trifecta. You're bisexual. Yeah. All right. What's up with that? You're a little chaotic?

49:13🔗 Caller Oh, I guess you could say that, yeah.

49:17🔗 Adam Yeah. Anyone screw with you growing up?

49:20🔗 Dr. Marcel Oh, yeah.

49:21🔗 Adam Yeah. I know the BIs don't like me talking this way, but that's the fastest way to become bisexual. Have some weird uncle goose you have when you're five or six. Magically become bisexual, even though it's your own choice.

49:34🔗 Caller Oh, well, I was never like sexually abused or anything, but my parents are just both really messed up. Why? My family, actually.

49:41🔗 Adam What do they do to you?

49:42🔗 Caller Well, my dad and my mom were both drug addicts when I was little. My mom had a nervous breakdown when I was nine because she took speed.

49:52🔗 Adam Right.

49:53🔗 Sweet.

49:54🔗 Adam All right.

49:55🔗 Caller So then I went to stay with my grandma in Arizona and...

49:59🔗 Caller Well, that's enough to make you...

50:00🔗 Adam Yeah. That's enough to freak out sexually. All right. So, hey, Jessie. Yeah. Yeah. More issues, though, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, what do you think, Marcel? What do you think the cramping is?

50:11🔗 Caller She might just have real powerful contractions, vaginal spasm or contractions when she has an orgasm.

50:18🔗 Adam Is that true, Jessie?

50:20🔗 Caller Um, well, kind of, yeah.

50:22🔗 Adam Well, what I mean is, is if I laugh real hard, I can give myself a cramp, you know what I mean? I mean, if I do anything with a lot of gusto, I can give myself a cramp.

50:31🔗 Caller Well, no, like, um, I heard somewhere that, like, if you masturbate when you're on your period, you can, like, leave cramps, but it just gives me worse cramps.

50:42🔗 Caller Have you gone to a gynecologist?

50:44🔗 Caller No.

50:45🔗 Caller Well, and you're sexually active?

50:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:47🔗 Adam Well, that's what you need to do.

50:49🔗 Caller Okay.

50:50🔗 Caller That's, like, tip number one.

50:52🔗 Adam Yeah, you're gonna get pregnant, too. You using any birth control?

50:55🔗 Caller Uh, no.

50:56🔗 Adam All right. Listen, goofball. You gotta get to a gynecologist, get a pelvic exam. You're a big girl now. You're big enough to be sexually active with everyone. You might as well get, you gotta get yourself checked out.

51:08🔗 Caller I had a couple of appointments, but I just ended up not going.

51:10🔗 Adam All right. Well, as long as you made the appointment, that's the important part. So it's just like the dentist. You don't actually have to go. Just break a few appointments. That's fine. Yeah.

51:18🔗 Caller And then when the teeth rot out, no problem. No worry.

51:20🔗 Adam You can say you made the appointment.

51:22🔗 Caller When it burns when you pee, no problem.

51:24🔗 Adam Genius, Jesse. All right, baby. Go make another appointment and keep it. Okay? Okay. And don't be stupid. You're going to get pregnant. Or worse. Or worse. All right?

51:36🔗 Okay.

51:36🔗 Adam All right. Take care of yourself.

51:38🔗 Okay.

51:39🔗 Adam All right. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Marcel, plastic surgeon. If you have any questions for him tonight, feel free to call. We'll take a break. We'll be back. Uh-huh.

51:53🔗 Caller Back in a minute.

52:18🔗 Adam Whoa, loveline!

52:20🔗 Caller I'm Adam Carolla.

52:21🔗 Adam That is Dr. Marcel, who's filling in for Dr. Bruce, who's filling in for Dr. Drew, who swallowed the fly. And Dr. Drew, that's how he pronounced, he just goes by his first name, right? Just Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew will be in here, most likely, Wednesday, Thursday this week. And has been on the phone with his publicist during the week. And hopefully, we have booked the great, inelusive Dr. Drew. He's going to come on, he's going to plug some dates he's doing around the country and then back to the Learjet. And off to Parts Unknown. But kiddies, keep your fingers crossed, we're looking for Dr. Drew on Wednesday, possibly Thursday night. Anyway, I'm glad to have Dr. Marcel in here tonight because plastic surgery, I think anyone who's got a heartbeat or pulse is interested in some degree in their physicality, what they look like, what their outward appearance and that's why it's very interesting to have Dr. Marcel in here tonight who can answer all your questions about just that plastic surgery. Let's talk to Elizabeth who's 22, Elizabeth.

53:25🔗 Dr. Marcel Hi, Dr. Daniels. I'm actually Dr. Marcel's patient. Dr. Daniels, Dr. Marcel, I don't know what you like to be called.

53:31🔗 Adam Right, well, Daniels would be the last name, right? You can call him Dr. Marcel for the sake of confusion.

53:37🔗 Caller Okay, Dr. Marcel. I had breast implants done about, I think it's been eight months, has it been?

53:43🔗 Caller Yeah, something like that. This is not a set of call, Adam.

53:45🔗 Adam No, I know.

53:46🔗 Caller I don't want to...

53:47🔗 Adam She's sitting in the Dr. Marcel's Porsche right now on his cell phone. Yeah. All right, so he did a job on you.

53:54🔗 Caller Uh-huh, they turned out beautifully.

53:56🔗 Adam What size did he give you?

53:58🔗 Caller A large B. I actually want to go a C, but he said a large B would look better on me.

54:02🔗 Adam Really?

54:04🔗 Caller Sometimes bigger is not necessarily better.

54:06🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah, but I think it would look a little better bigger.

54:09🔗 Caller We'll talk.

54:11🔗 Adam Why not a C? I mean, C doesn't sound too big. Does she have a small frame?

54:14🔗 Caller Yeah, real tiny gal. You know, it all depends. I mean, breast surgery is a very popular surgery, and a lot of times getting people to understand the limitations of it on, you know, what looks natural, what doesn't look natural, and implants, the same size implant on three different patients is going to look, you're going to get three different results. And sometimes if you don't have a lot of tissue to hide the implant, it's better to go a little smaller, so you camouflage it better.

54:41🔗 Adam Right. So Elizabeth, you didn't start off with much, right?

54:44🔗 Dr. Marcel No, not really.

54:45🔗 Adam So, and when you don't start off with much, you can't try to go too far, it's going to look fake.

54:49🔗 Dr. Marcel Right.

54:49🔗 Caller But you know what?

54:50🔗 Some people can tell anyway.

54:51🔗 Dr. Marcel It's like they said they can tell.

54:53🔗 Caller Well, when you are examined, especially with saline, certainly you can feel the implant.

54:58🔗 Caller No, they said they could with clothes.

55:00🔗 Caller Really?

55:01🔗 Adam I mean, they can see it through the bra?

55:03🔗 Dr. Marcel No, I mean, I don't know.

55:04🔗 Caller They said they look bigger for what my frame is.

55:07🔗 Adam Oh, well, listen, that's why you got to be glad you can go with the sea. Well, what about now? I've felt a saline implant and a silicone implant, and silicone feels better.

55:19🔗 Caller Yeah, in terms of pure aesthetics, there's no comparison to gel.

55:23🔗 Adam Silicone looks better and feels better?

55:26🔗 Caller Feel better, feels better, softer, more natural.

55:29🔗 Adam Why does it look different?

55:30🔗 Caller Because gel is a lot more conforming, gel is much more forgiving. It molds better inside your body. Right. You know, and actually those implants are once again available. They've been available since 97 on a restricted use at the moment. The FDA is doing a, I'm one of the investigators for the FDA, and we're doing an ongoing study on silicone gel implants and their safety. Yeah. And eventually, the manufacturers of the gel implants think that they'll come back into full use for routine cosmetic augmentation.

56:02🔗 Adam And how different were those silicone gel implants, new generation, be from the older ones?

56:08🔗 Caller The shell of the implant is a little thicker, so you're not getting as much what we call gel bleed. You'd get microscopic amounts of the gel that would go across the older implants.

56:18🔗 Adam Right.

56:18🔗 Caller The gel inside is a little thicker so that when the implant does wear out, which all implants eventually do, the gel will tend to stay in the same area that it was put in.

56:29🔗 Adam What about the old stuff? I heard a lot of that was just trumped up. Yeah. A lot of lawyers getting involved. And much of you about nothing.

56:35🔗 Caller They're the only ones that made money.

56:37🔗 Adam Right. So, I mean, what you're saying is the whole silicone thing was a little bit of hysteria.

56:44🔗 Caller I mean, the National Science Panel three years ago reviewed 2,000 documents that were generated on silicone gel implants and they could find no health-related risks.

56:54🔗 Adam Yes. That's what I love about this great litigious society of ours. Hey, Elizabeth. All right. So, what has this done? You get more dates, guys. Look at you.

57:04🔗 Caller So much more attention.

57:05🔗 Adam A lot more tipping at the club.

57:08🔗 Caller I get a lot more attention. I'm actually looking for a job as a bartender now, so hopefully, God help and tips.

57:12🔗 Adam And Marcel, did you get the local or did you get the general?

57:16🔗 Caller No, they all get general.

57:18🔗 Adam You're out?

57:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:19🔗 Adam And you recovered fine and everything went great, huh?

57:23🔗 Dr. Marcel Beautifully.

57:24🔗 Adam All right, baby.

57:25🔗 Dr. Marcel I just want to tell you, you did a great job and God bless you.

57:28🔗 Caller All right, my dear.

57:30🔗 Adam Take care. Bye-bye. They said advertising with Penny Saver wasn't a good idea, but look at all the business it's brought you. All right, just another satisfied customer. And Marcel doesn't satisfy too many women, but that was one of them right there. We will talk to Jack, who's 26, Jack.

57:49🔗 Caller Yes, I'm calling about my wife has inverted nipples and she's talked to her doctors about it, just regular doctors, not a lot. And she has heard that there's really nothing she can do about it.

58:02🔗 Caller Actually, that's not true. And depending upon why her nipples are inverted, depending upon if they can ever, you know, some women, if they press on their breasts a certain way or they get a little aroused, sometimes their nipples will pop back out. It's a sign that you most likely you could have it corrected surgically. And so there are a couple of procedures that have a pretty good track record for correcting inverted nipples.

58:27🔗 Adam How do you, what do you do? I just get them out and then you get a pipe cleaner and go around them nice and tight and keep them out?

58:33🔗 Caller You know, Adam, you're getting pretty darn close there.

58:35🔗 Adam Well, listen, you can't argue with just good basic common sense. I mean, imagine you first got to coax them out and then you got to keep them out.

58:43🔗 Caller That's right.

58:43🔗 Adam And the only way to keep them out is to sort of get something up against the base and tie it off a little bit.

58:48🔗 Caller You know, that is one of the techniques that a lot of plastic surgeons use.

58:52🔗 Adam You put a stitch in there?

58:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:53🔗 Adam You can sometimes be doing this. My years of carpentry mix with my bedside manner.

59:01🔗 Caller Be sweet.

59:02🔗 Adam Alright.

59:04🔗 Caller There's also, there's a, in some women they have naturally short breast ducts and that causes traction on the nipple pulling it in. So one of the procedures is just freeing up those breast ducts and then putting in the stitch to keep things from falling back in. There's even a company that makes a little bit of a suction device, a little pump. And I don't know what company makes it and that they claim at least over time will lengthen those those ducts and allow the nipples to stay everted.

59:33🔗 Caller We're also curious to see if these operations had any effect on breastfeeding.

59:39🔗 Caller Well they can certainly because anytime you're going to be you're going to be messing with any breast ducts you certainly could affect breastfeeding.

59:45🔗 Adam So how do you breastfeed with a piece? How do you breastfeed with inverted nipples?

59:52🔗 Caller Well some women it's very difficult and some women when they do get pregnant the other nipples pop out because they're engorged.

59:57🔗 Adam Well because they have done like a turkey put in the oven.

1:00:00🔗 Caller Exactly.

1:00:01🔗 Adam All right. So hey Jack. Yeah go talk to some plastic surgeons.

1:00:06🔗 Caller But if she if she wants to have kids if you if you haven't had kids yet and she wants to try breastfeeding probably should hold off trying to correct that until after.

1:00:15🔗 Adam Right man because if something goes wrong you're as out of luck. Amanda. You're 19.

1:00:20🔗 Caller What's up?

1:00:22🔗 Caller I'm Polly. Sorry I lost my voice a little. I had my breasts done and I love them very, very much. But I want them a little bigger and I'm thinking about that pill that came out, the ISIS thing.

1:00:33🔗 Caller Sure.

1:00:33🔗 Caller I was just calling. I wanted to know if you had a seat to go with the breast implants and everything.

1:00:38🔗 Caller Sure.

1:00:38🔗 Adam You take the ice, you take two bottles, you put them in a hefty bag, you crush them up and you stuff them under your skin.

1:00:45🔗 Caller Under your bra.

1:00:46🔗 Adam And there you go.

1:00:48🔗 Caller No.

1:00:48🔗 Adam Now what about any of these pills?

1:00:51🔗 Caller I've never seen a double-blind scientific study in a legitimate journal that has proven that any of them are really effective.

1:00:59🔗 Adam Right.

1:00:59🔗 Caller I mean, there's even a company that makes this breast vacuum pump.

1:01:03🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

1:01:03🔗 Caller And it's like a brassiere. And it hooks on your breast and you hook this vacuum up. Over time, it stretches your breasts out and it can increase your cup size. But it kind of makes them more droopy. But they sell it as a non-surgical breast enlargement.

1:01:18🔗 Adam I got the penis version of that. Same company. It doesn't work. It just made my asshole bigger. I didn't make my penis longer. Maybe I wasn't using it right.

1:01:27🔗 Caller I think, Amanda, just save your money on the pills.

1:01:31🔗 Caller Well, because I already spent, like, I mean, I spent a fair amount on the surgery and I don't want to spend that much again.

1:01:37🔗 Caller Well, what size implants did you get?

1:01:39🔗 Adam What size implants? You're 19, baby. Relax there.

1:01:42🔗 Caller I know.

1:01:43🔗 Adam What do you do for a living?

1:01:45🔗 Caller I'm a cocktail.

1:01:47🔗 Adam You're a cocktail waitress?

1:01:48🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:01:49🔗 Adam Okay. And you just...

1:01:51🔗 Caller I thought you were a cocktail and asked her what kind.

1:01:54🔗 Adam So, you're a cocktail waitress and as a cocktail waitress, can you write this off?

1:02:03🔗 Caller I don't believe so.

1:02:03🔗 Adam You don't think so? All right. And what size did you get?

1:02:06🔗 Caller Um, this, this full C.

1:02:09🔗 Adam They're full C? And what's up with you that you're 19 and you're so preoccupied with your breasts?

1:02:15🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:02:16🔗 Adam You sound kind of screwed up. What's wrong with you?

1:02:19🔗 Caller There's nothing screwed up about me.

1:02:20🔗 Adam Come on, baby. You know you're a mess.

1:02:22🔗 Caller No.

1:02:22🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:02:23🔗 Caller I just, I just wanted to go bigger and I didn't want to spend that much kind of money again.

1:02:28🔗 Adam I know, but let's just break you down for a second. Hold on, Marcel. You're 19 years old, right? You've already had breast augmentation at the tender age of 19 and you have a full C. Now you're already back on the breast war path trying to go up another size.

1:02:43🔗 Caller Well, I would have gone D had I known that it wouldn't have been that much of a difference. I just didn't want to go that big in the first place.

1:02:50🔗 Adam Right. But what I'm saying is, is why the preoccupation? I mean, I understand...

1:02:55🔗 Caller I'm interested in...

1:02:56🔗 Adam I see. So the preoccupation is because you're interested in it?

1:02:59🔗 Caller No.

1:03:00🔗 Adam Why are you so caught up in your physicality?

1:03:05🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:03:06🔗 Adam You have a eating disorder?

1:03:08🔗 No, not anymore.

1:03:09🔗 Adam Yes. Now we're getting somewhere. What did your mom do? Forced you into ballet when you were young?

1:03:15🔗 Caller No, not at all.

1:03:15🔗 Adam What happened?

1:03:18🔗 Caller Quite the opposite. She was a very conservative type mom and her physical appearance isn't at all. And that's what gives me quite a lot of crap and grief for having an interest in mine. Uh-huh.

1:03:29🔗 Adam And what about your dad?

1:03:34🔗 Caller He's not an abuser. I know that's probably what you're thinking. No, I'm just... Never, um... I never, you know, pay a lot of attention to anything either. I think I'm the only person who pays any attention to my physical appearance at all.

1:03:46🔗 Adam Uh-huh. You do any drugs?

1:03:49🔗 Caller No, not anymore, no. Not at all.

1:03:51🔗 Adam What were you doing?

1:03:53🔗 Caller Oh, it doesn't matter. It was a few things, but it's been quite a while since I've touched anything.

1:03:57🔗 Adam A little speed, a little coke?

1:03:59🔗 Caller No, never coke.

1:04:00🔗 Adam No coke. Speed?

1:04:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:04:02🔗 Adam Alright then. Alright, so listen. You got a few things running around your brain, right? Yeah. Alright, why don't you focus on that stuff and spend a little less time on your jugs?

1:04:12🔗 Caller Do you know what I mean?

1:04:13🔗 Adam It's not going to... I guarantee, and I rarely say this, but bigger breasts is not going to solve any of your problems.

1:04:19🔗 Caller No, it's not. I mean, that's not why I'm doing it.

1:04:22🔗 Adam I know, but what I'm saying is, is you have a full C, you're 19 years old, you spend a lot of time thinking about external types of things like what you look like. Why not do a little internal work? You had a eating disorder?

1:04:36🔗 Caller My mother told me.

1:04:37🔗 Caller Yeah, mom's right in this case.

1:04:39🔗 Adam I know you hate your mom, but she may have a point here. You've had an eating disorder, you've had a drug habit, you've had a boob job, you're not even 20. Why don't you start focusing on, you know, read a book, walk on the beach, get a little therapy, listen to some classical music.

1:04:54🔗 Caller All right, I'll do all of that. All right, is it safe to take the pills with the best enhancement?

1:05:00🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm sure you're not risking anything.

1:05:02🔗 Adam Glad I made it.

1:05:04🔗 Caller You made a real impression on her.

1:05:05🔗 Adam Yes, I made my point. Listen, all of you, you don't know what you sound like. I know what you sound like, because I'm sitting here listening to your ass all night long. And I can tell you that's a screwed up person. And I can tell you that any money wasted, any money that she puts into anything but therapy is a big waste for her. I guarantee she ain't going to be any better looking. No. I'm sure she's fine looking. I'm sure boobs are big. I'm sure her ass is tight. I'm sure guys will love her just fine. And don't worry. That ain't your problem.

1:05:36🔗 Caller It won't help her.

1:05:37🔗 Adam No it will not. Alright. Let's move on. We'll speak to Aaron. Yeah. You're 19. What's up?

1:05:45🔗 Caller My girlfriend. Every time we have sex, she feels like she has to pee, but she can't pee. She's been to the doctor. We both got tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia. Chlamydia came up clear. Nothing positive. She's taking, I think it's called Merit for birth control.

1:06:09🔗 Adam Merit?

1:06:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:10🔗 Adam It's a brand of cigarette, isn't it? No.

1:06:12🔗 Caller It's like M-I-R-E-T-T-E.

1:06:15🔗 Caller Something like that.

1:06:16🔗 Adam It'd be nice if they had, you know.

1:06:18🔗 Caller Merit.

1:06:19🔗 Adam Yeah. Cigarette. You know. For the smokers out there. Why not? Put a Lastergen in there and let them get it, you know, while they're at work. Alright. So, she has pain. She feels like she's going to urinate when she orgasms.

1:06:35🔗 Caller No, no. Afterward.

1:06:37🔗 Caller While you're having sex.

1:06:39🔗 Caller She feels like she has to go, but she can't go. And it's like painful. And she sits there, she cries. Afterward.

1:06:46🔗 Caller It's sad.

1:06:47🔗 Adam And it's tough for you because you just had an orgasm. You're watching Sports Center and talking to one of your buddies on a cell phone. And it's tough to comfort her when she's on the toilet.

1:06:55🔗 Caller Pretty much.

1:06:56🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. I know. Let me tell you women something, too. You start crying all the time and we stop paying attention. You watch a soap opera, you're crying, you're at a wedding, you're crying, you can't pee, you're crying. You're crying all the time. Eventually guys just start tuning it out. It's no big deal. We see a guy cry, we freak out. You know what I mean? It really makes an impact because you never see him cry. But if you cry all the time, it doesn't mean anything. It's a girl who cried, cry. All right. So anyway, Erin.

1:07:23🔗 Caller She tried the cranberry pills, I guess. I guess one of her friends told her to try those to help, but it doesn't really work. Okay. What could be the problem? What could help?

1:07:34🔗 Caller What type of doctor has she gone to see about this?

1:07:37🔗 Caller Gynecologist.

1:07:38🔗 Caller Okay.

1:07:39🔗 Caller And she doesn't know what it is.

1:07:42🔗 Caller And have you thought about seeing a urologist?

1:07:46🔗 Caller No.

1:07:46🔗 Caller Because that would probably be where I would go next. I mean, there's a lot of really good gynecologists, and they do a lot of the female surgery and all. But sometimes you need someone with just a little bit more expertise in just a smaller field like urology. And if she's having something to do with her bladder or urethra, she may need to have a cystogram. She may need to have someone look in there with a scope or do a dye study to see what possibly is going on in terms of her anatomy. Is there something about her bladder that is causing this ongoing problem?

1:08:17🔗 Adam Will he have to blink her in the doctor's office in order to simulate the orgasm?

1:08:21🔗 Caller No, no, the doctor will do that.

1:08:22🔗 Adam Oh, oh, I see.

1:08:24🔗 Caller You gotta have some perks in this business, you know.

1:08:26🔗 Adam You know what I was asking Drew about? Maybe you could answer this. He didn't really have an answer. I was asking about the urology. And I said, if you're dealing, especially with the male phallus for a living, which is gotta be a rough gig, there's a certain amount of problems that surround the penis that have to do with an erection, a perone's disease, things like that. Does the guy have to get an erection in the office? Are there certain things you have to examine while the guy has an erection? And if so, that's gotta be rough.

1:08:57🔗 Caller Actually, that's true. If it's an erectile dysfunction and stuff. I mean, I know certainly some urologists in surgery to properly examine it, they will, with the patient asleep, they will cause an erection by injecting saline into the penis.

1:09:12🔗 Adam Good times.

1:09:13🔗 Caller To cause an erection to see, you know, what's going on.

1:09:16🔗 Adam I see. And then pose for pictures by it with the nurse and that kind of stuff. So they can cause an erection by injecting saline into it and doing...

1:09:27🔗 Caller Putting a little tourniquet at the base.

1:09:28🔗 Adam A little tourniquet at the base. Nice. I'm gonna keep one of those saline syringes in my car just in case.

1:09:35🔗 Caller Just in case.

1:09:36🔗 Adam The situation arises, pardon the pun. And what about for like, pironies? Do you have to get to see if the penis is curved?

1:09:43🔗 Caller Well, in severe cases, it's curved even when it's not erect.

1:09:48🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:09:48🔗 Caller So you can have an idea. You can feel some real thickening.

1:09:51🔗 Adam I see. I see. Because I'll tell you what I told Drew. I would say, listen, if I was a urologist and I was trying to figure out where the guy had a bent penis when it was erect, I would say, listen, here's a hustler, here's some lubriderm, here is a steno pad and a number two pencil. Now, you go get a boner, lay the thing down on the steno pad, and trace around it like what kids do. You know what preschoolers do? They put their hand down, they draw around it and they make a turkey. Do that. You draw me a banana, and you come back and we'll see what we got. And please, don't draw any eyes on it or bow tie. Just bring the thing back, and then I'll go ahead and put the compass on it. We'll try to figure out if it's peronies or not. That would be my angle as a urologist.

1:10:32🔗 Caller Or a Polaroid camera.

1:10:33🔗 Adam Oh yeah. Oh, even better. Yeah, those exist now? Yeah. That's smart. And doctors have access to those, what we're calling them? Polaroid cameras? Polaroid, yeah. Oh, that's like magic. Ash?

1:10:45🔗 Yeah.

1:10:45🔗 Adam You're 21, what's up?

1:10:46🔗 Caller Yes, I am. I just want to tell you real quick that the Mormon missionaries in the Las Vegas West Mission absolutely love you, Adam, and they love your show.

1:10:53🔗 Adam Well, I'd like to give a shout out to all my Mormon peeps in the Vegas area.

1:10:58🔗 Caller Oh yeah, there's a bunch of them.

1:10:59🔗 Adam Sure.

1:10:59🔗 Caller I have a question. I have a kind of small wiener and I recently ordered these pills that are supposed to be all natural and all herbal. I think you were talking about it just a second ago with another caller, but they're supposed to increase your penis size by three inches with no side effects. I haven't got them yet, but I was wondering like...

1:11:18🔗 Caller I'll sell you some of those. You just send me a check.

1:11:21🔗 Adam Yeah. How much were they?

1:11:23🔗 Caller They were $59.95.

1:11:25🔗 Adam Right. Marcel, seriously, as a plastic surgeon, and a man who wouldn't mind a few inches on his own dork, what do you think a pill would run if in... I had... if I was a company that produces pill, and I could guarantee three inches on a piece of pill.

1:11:40🔗 Caller Three inches, you could name your price.

1:11:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:42🔗 Caller You could name your price.

1:11:44🔗 Adam If it worked.

1:11:44🔗 Caller If it worked with no side effects, and you're all John Holmes afterwards, you could name your price.

1:11:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:49🔗 Caller I mean, that's...

1:11:50🔗 Adam I think we could start about $20,000 a pill. And eventually, in five years from now, you could get from $3,500. Yeah. It'd be like a flat screen TV.

1:11:58🔗 Caller Right.

1:11:59🔗 Adam Eventually, the price will head down. But for now, it's going to be $10,000.

1:12:03🔗 Caller I mean, you know, Ash wanted to know if the penis enlargening surgery was such a great deal. I'll tell you, that's also a checkered kind of field in plastic surgery. And certainly, there's two components to it. One, it makes your penis hang a little lower without actually really making it longer. It just hangs a little lower off your pelvis, so it looks a little longer. They cut the suspensory ligament.

1:12:28🔗 Adam Is it the equivalent to like taking your mailbox and pulling it out of your lawn just a little bit?

1:12:33🔗 Caller Exactly.

1:12:33🔗 Adam To make it higher?

1:12:34🔗 Caller Right.

1:12:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:12:35🔗 Caller And then the second part to increase girth is you can do fat injections around the shaft. You can do dermographs, but those tend to make it look like more of a torpedo or a cigar rather than a real penis.

1:12:48🔗 Adam So I don't mind singing a ship or two. I mean, well, what... Okay, well, let me ask this. If you get a fat injection in your penis, does it have to be your own fat? Yeah. So where would they take it out of normally?

1:13:01🔗 Caller Your belly, your abdomen, your love handles, wherever.

1:13:04🔗 Adam All right. So you could theoretically lose a little...

1:13:07🔗 Caller A win-win is what you're thinking?

1:13:09🔗 Adam Could you? Yeah. Could you do that?

1:13:11🔗 Caller You don't inject that much volume into the penis. You gotta imagine. You're gonna inject maybe a few cc's.

1:13:17🔗 Adam Right. Okay. So they take that area, they take some fat out, they inject it. And then does your body reabsorb it?

1:13:24🔗 Caller Most of the time it does. And you can get calcifications. You can get lumpiness. It's not a great procedure.

1:13:31🔗 Adam So this thing that was basically all the rage about four or five years ago has really settled down. Yeah. And people aren't really even doing that. No, no.

1:13:39🔗 Caller Some people still do it.

1:13:40🔗 Adam They do. Yeah. I just haven't heard. There was one doctor who was doing a lot of it.

1:13:44🔗 Caller Right.

1:13:44🔗 Adam Probably out of Florida, I think, is where the guy was. I can't remember where he was.

1:13:48🔗 Caller There was also one here in Southern California.

1:13:50🔗 Adam And did he get sued? Did he go under?

1:13:52🔗 Caller I think there was a lot of medical legal issues.

1:13:55🔗 Adam I see. So it's really, there's just no free lunch in this department. And there's just no male equivalent to the breast augmentation when it comes to the genitalia.

1:14:04🔗 Caller No. I mean, that vacuum thing you were talking about me.

1:14:08🔗 Adam With temporary results.

1:14:10🔗 Caller May help.

1:14:10🔗 Adam But well, if you ever see the magazines, it's like they show the guy and then they show the same guy with a boner. So it's like, yeah, he did increase a few inches on to his penis. Why? Because it's engorged with his own blood.

1:14:23🔗 Caller Right.

1:14:24🔗 Adam It's, yeah, I do that on an almost nightly basis.

1:14:27🔗 Caller All right.

1:14:28🔗 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little bit of a break here. Dr. Marcel is here, plastic surgeon extraordinaire, filling in for Dr. Drew. And we'll take a little break. We'll be back with more of your calls after this.

1:14:39🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.

1:15:06🔗 Adam Yeah, Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Marcel, the plastic surgeon, filling in for Dr. Drew tonight. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Let's hop back on the phones, and we'll speak to Marie. Is that Marie?

1:15:22🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:15:23🔗 Adam You're 17, what's up?

1:15:25🔗 Dr. Marcel Okay, well, I have a quick question. I don't know, like, I have an eating disorder, and I don't know what caused it.

1:15:35🔗 Adam You know, where you're usually an over-domineering mom.

1:15:40🔗 Dr. Marcel But she's not really over-domineering.

1:15:42🔗 Adam Yeah, she doesn't bug you, she's not too involved in your life.

1:15:46🔗 Caller Are you bulimic?

1:15:47🔗 Dr. Marcel I'm like, I don't know, I've had like, I've had like, I mean, I was just like, I like, stopped eating for like a while, and then like, one of my really good friends died, and then I just kind of like, and I, yeah, and then I kind of turned into bulimia.

1:16:03🔗 Adam Hey, Marie, can you speak up a little bit, please?

1:16:05🔗 Dr. Marcel Sure.

1:16:07🔗 Adam Okay. So, your mom didn't stuff you in a ballet class when you were three?

1:16:11🔗 Dr. Marcel No.

1:16:13🔗 Adam Well, what about that, Marcel? Do you think there's certain people that are almost like, biologically predisposed to an eating disorder?

1:16:22🔗 Caller Some, and I think some of it's a chemical imbalance also, and once again, you know, I'm a big advocate for people getting into good therapy for something like this, and also seeing an MD to potentially be put on some kind of fine-tuning medication that will tweak the brain chemistry a little and make them feel better about themselves.

1:16:43🔗 Adam So how about that, Marie? Can you see a doctor? Have you seen a doctor?

1:16:47🔗 Dr. Marcel No. My mom doesn't know.

1:16:50🔗 Adam I know, but why don't you tell her? Can you tell her?

1:16:53🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah, I can. I don't...

1:16:55🔗 Caller I mean, if you're too thin, you know, it's going to affect your periods, it's going to affect your health.

1:17:00🔗 Dr. Marcel Well, I'm not like... You can't tell. I mean...

1:17:03🔗 Adam How much do you weigh?

1:17:04🔗 Dr. Marcel Like 128.

1:17:06🔗 Adam How tall are you?

1:17:07🔗 Dr. Marcel 5'8.

1:17:08🔗 Adam All right. It's a little thin. But you're throwing up your food? Are you doing that?

1:17:15🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:17:15🔗 Adam All right, so you need to do something, because, you know, one thing I've learned from this show is, other than the entire world is effed up, is that this is a real dangerous situation. People die from this, and they ruin their teeth, they ruin their esophagus, and they do permanent damage, and stuff that's really irreversible. And so you got to get on it now.

1:17:38🔗 Dr. Marcel Okay.

1:17:39🔗 Adam All right, so you're calling us, you know you have a problem.

1:17:41🔗 Caller You got to get help.

1:17:43🔗 Adam Can you talk to a counselor or something like that?

1:17:45🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:17:46🔗 Adam All right. Well, you don't sound too enthusiastic about it. I don't blame you, but you got to, here's the deal. You either have to stop or you have to seek help. It's one or the other.

1:17:55🔗 Dr. Marcel Right.

1:17:55🔗 Adam And it seems like you're having trouble stopping.

1:17:57🔗 Dr. Marcel I do. It like runs my life. I swear, that's all I think about.

1:18:01🔗 Caller Well, then you really need to take matters into your hands and get help.

1:18:05🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:18:06🔗 Adam All right.

1:18:07🔗 Dr. Marcel Okay.

1:18:07🔗 Caller All right.

1:18:07🔗 Adam Well, do that, would you?

1:18:09🔗 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:18:09🔗 Adam All right.

1:18:10🔗 Dr. Marcel Thank you.

1:18:10🔗 Caller All right. Yeah, how you doing?

1:18:14🔗 Adam You're 25. What's up?

1:18:16🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I was just wondering about female ejaculation. I know it exists, but what is the substance exactly that comes out?

1:18:23🔗 Caller I'm going to let you handle this one, Adam.

1:18:26🔗 Adam It's the woman's soul, oftentimes, in a liquid form.

1:18:30🔗 Caller You know, that's what I thought.

1:18:31🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:18:31🔗 Caller I figured as much. It's okay to eat, then.

1:18:34🔗 Adam Sure, if you don't mind eating a little soul. I guess they have some glands down there, and they can produce stuff, and I don't know, whatever comes out of a gland is what comes out of there. I don't think it's anything they need. You don't have to put it back in them. I made that mistake once. I see. It's very uncomfortable.

1:18:51🔗 Caller So, it's not urine, then, because it comes out of the same hole, right?

1:18:55🔗 Adam No. It shouldn't come out of the same hole. If it does come out of that hole, then it would be urine. And what comes out of the larger hole that's behind that, it would be number two.

1:19:04🔗 Caller There's another hole?

1:19:05🔗 Adam I should draw you a picture.

1:19:06🔗 Caller Would you?

1:19:07🔗 Adam So, the point is, is this should not come out of the urethra.

1:19:11🔗 Caller Right.

1:19:12🔗 Adam That would be urine. And then some women have what you call female orgasmic incontinence, which means when they have an orgasm, urine comes flying out. I imagine it would be some sort of defensive thing. You know, much like many venomous snakes will shoot their venom at their prey. This is something that's probably just some holdover from the caveman days.

1:19:33🔗 Caller But that does happen. Is it actually urine?

1:19:35🔗 Caller Is there like a watered down version?

1:19:37🔗 Caller It's not watered down. In some cases it is urine.

1:19:40🔗 Caller Just straight urine.

1:19:41🔗 Adam Well listen, if it's not urine, then it won't be half urine. It'll either be all urine, because it's coming out in the urethra, Right. Or it'll just be some glandular secretion, which will not be urine, but you still won't want to eat it.

1:19:55🔗 Caller Right.

1:19:56🔗 Adam You understand?

1:19:56🔗 Caller I was kidding about the eating thing, but...

1:19:58🔗 Adam I see. Well, I'm just...

1:19:59🔗 Caller I'm just curious as to exactly what it was.

1:20:01🔗 Adam We've got a lot of young stone listeners who are thinking about it, Jack. I'm looking out for that.

1:20:05🔗 Caller Got you.

1:20:06🔗 Adam All right there, Jack. The aptly named Jack.

1:20:09🔗 Caller What's that?

1:20:09🔗 Adam All right. Enjoy. Oh, okay. Yeah, good times, buddy.

1:20:12🔗 Caller Thanks.

1:20:13🔗 Adam That's all right. Yeah, a fair amount of women do this, apparently. None that I've been with, actually. They're... The whole orgasm theory is a little bit foreign to a lot of the women I've been with.

1:20:26🔗 Caller No rain women in your life?

1:20:27🔗 Adam No. I have not run into them. And I'll tell you something, most guys don't mind it, though, because it's actually a sort of payday and a banana boy doing a good job. Yeah, it's a little Christmas bonus, like when the boss gives you a nice bottle of brandy or a case of beer or something at the end of a good work week. All right, let's talk to Ken. Ken is 19. Ken?

1:20:54🔗 Caller Yeah, how's it going?

1:20:55🔗 Adam What's up?

1:20:56🔗 Caller You guys do a lot of good for a lot of people, I just thought I'd say that, first of all.

1:20:59🔗 Adam Well, thank you, Ken.

1:21:00🔗 Caller Hey, how's it going? Me and my girlfriend have been together a little over a year now, and we don't have sex nearly as often as we used to. I mean, we love each other to death, and it's starting to affect the relationship. I was wondering if you guys could provide any insight.

1:21:14🔗 Adam Who doesn't want to have the sex, huh?

1:21:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:17🔗 Adam I see.

1:21:18🔗 Caller Not as often, anyway. I mean, she loves it. We both have a great time when we do. It's just, you know.

1:21:24🔗 Caller Well, have you talked to her about it?

1:21:25🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:21:26🔗 Caller And what is she saying?

1:21:28🔗 Caller Well, I try to talk to her about it, and I feel bad, you know, because sometimes she gets real upset about it. I mean, she says, you know, she's trying to work on it. I love it or death, I hate to bring it up. You know what I mean?

1:21:40🔗 Adam Well, what would you like, like a week?

1:21:45🔗 Caller A week? I don't know, maybe once.

1:21:48🔗 Adam Once a week?

1:21:49🔗 Caller Twice, maybe, you know.

1:21:50🔗 Adam Twice, maybe 14 times? Well, I see. And what is she good for a week?

1:21:57🔗 Caller 0.5 or so.

1:21:58🔗 Adam Right, so she's good for like one every two weeks.

1:22:01🔗 Caller How old is she?

1:22:03🔗 Caller She's 18.

1:22:03🔗 Adam And did this drop off?

1:22:06🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, we've started a lot of relationships, I'm sure. We started having a lot more often.

1:22:13🔗 Adam Sure. Now, how long have you been with her?

1:22:15🔗 Caller A little over a year.

1:22:16🔗 Adam I see. And is there something up with her? Is there something in her past?

1:22:21🔗 Caller Not that I know of.

1:22:22🔗 Adam Well, listen, I hate to drop this bomb on you, but oftentimes, if you do a little investigation, you'll find out that there's something floating around, maybe that's coming to the surface now. Maybe something she hasn't dealt with, something she didn't want to deal with. Is her family okay?

1:22:41🔗 Caller Sort of.

1:22:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:22:42🔗 Caller There was a little hesitation there.

1:22:46🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:22:46🔗 Caller Well, it's not perfect, but no one's is.

1:22:49🔗 Adam No, but some are sort of passable, and others are almost criminal. How's her dad? Does she like him?

1:22:58🔗 Caller She doesn't really talk to her dad too much now. She lives in another state.

1:23:02🔗 Adam I see.

1:23:03🔗 Caller But I mean, would this happen now, as opposed to when we first started?

1:23:06🔗 Adam Well, here's the situation. Sometimes, and I'm not saying this is a situation with your girlfriend, but it's possible. Sometimes, when people were sexualized a little too young, or molested, or physically abused, or there was some trauma, they get kind of hypersexual for a while. They have a lot of sex, and then they swing the other way and kind of shut down. And that may be what's going on with your girlfriend. And it may be based on something that happened in the past. We don't know, and neither do you. But you have to talk to her and say, listen, if there's something going on, if there's something that needs to be worked out or settled or needs to be faced, I'll be with you, I'll hold your hand, I'll support you, but we have to do the work. She's got to do something.

1:23:46🔗 Caller And a lot of women at 18 are still not in tune with their body sexually.

1:23:50🔗 Adam No.

1:23:50🔗 Caller It comes certainly with time.

1:23:52🔗 Adam No, and I know. It's such a sad, sad tragedy, the time when you'd really like to put a good tune in on them. They're not in tune with their body. Later on, when you're not interested in sex, they're...

1:24:05🔗 Caller All over you.

1:24:06🔗 Adam Yes, they're like Bangkok whores at that point. Very, very sad. I'll tell you, I have... Marcel, you probably know this in your own life. There's many women who you've been friends with, maybe been intimate with, who you've known for a long period of time, who you've known since high school, who when they were at juniors, even seniors in high school, didn't even really even seem to care for sex, almost just went along with it, thought it was something they had to do for their boyfriend. You stay with these women for a few years, see them in their thirties, see them in their late twenties, see where they went. I mean, half the girls I've known, and these are the ones I've known since ninth, tenth grade, when you talk to them when they were sixteen, seventeen, talk to them about oral sex, disgusting, grotesque, wanted no part of it. You get them around thirty-four, thirty-five, bring it on. That's right. You fall asleep, you better fall asleep with your hands over your lap. Something's going to happen. Absolutely. And women do change, and they do head that direction. And at eighteen, a lot of women are still a few years off. And maybe that's his situation, but I bet there's a little more floating around in the past that needs to be investigated. All right. Let's talk to Sarah. Sarah?

1:25:23🔗 Caller Hi.

1:25:23🔗 Adam You're eighteen. What's up?

1:25:25🔗 Caller I've been dating this guy for about five months. I love him to death. He's probably with me right now. And he's Mormon. He's leaving in a week from tomorrow on a mission for two years. And I'm having a really hard time with it. And he's sort of been like my crutch and my best friend and everything for the last couple months. I've moved in to my parents' house and there's been a lot of stuff going on.

1:25:49🔗 Adam Yeah. It's bad when you're...

1:25:52🔗 Caller And everyone tells me not to love him. Everyone tells me how I shouldn't be with him because he's Mormon and I'm not. But it just feels really right with him and I'm just having a hard time with him leaving and I don't know what I should do about it.

1:26:02🔗 Adam I see. What are you, Wiccan?

1:26:05🔗 Caller No.

1:26:05🔗 Adam No. You practice Santeria?

1:26:08🔗 Caller I don't practice any religion right now.

1:26:09🔗 Adam I see. Do you guys have sex?

1:26:11🔗 Caller No.

1:26:12🔗 Adam And is that his decision?

1:26:15🔗 Caller It's a mutual thing.

1:26:16🔗 Adam I see. Why wouldn't you want to have sex with him, having no religion?

1:26:21🔗 Dr. Marcel I respect him more than that.

1:26:23🔗 Adam I know. But if he weren't Mormon, you guys would be getting it on, right?

1:26:27🔗 Caller It's not like that, bro.

1:26:28🔗 Adam But is that true?

1:26:30🔗 Dr. Marcel I don't know.

1:26:31🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm going with yes.

1:26:32🔗 Caller It's not about sex, but it's not...

1:26:34🔗 Adam It certainly isn't. You're not getting any. Sarah, you said that you're using him as a crutch, which probably isn't a great thing in a relationship.

1:26:42🔗 Caller No. He's like my best friend and I go to him with everything and he helps me through everything that I've gone through with my family.

1:26:51🔗 Adam Right. But what's not going right for you?

1:26:54🔗 Caller I don't have any relationship with my parents and I work... I was working 70 hours a week and I feel really alone.

1:27:03🔗 Adam All right. Where is he going on his mission?

1:27:05🔗 Brazil.

1:27:06🔗 Adam Brazil. That son of a bitch. We talked to some poor bastard last night whose mission was like Anchorage or something. Talk about luck of the draw.

1:27:16🔗 Caller No kidding.

1:27:16🔗 Adam This guy is going to be in a carnival. He's going to wear a goddamn thong. No, no, no. Believe me, he's going to be on a thong and he's going to be riding one of those novelty bicycles in the parade, the ones with the huge front wheels on it throwing beads to chicks who are pulling their tops up. Oh, that's horrible. And this guy is listening.

1:27:36🔗 Caller He's only been doing it for two years.

1:27:37🔗 Adam The guy went to Anchorage and is putting a gun to his head right now. I swear to God, a guy called from Alaska. Last night, he was on mission. All right, Sarah, when is he leaving?

1:27:49🔗 Caller A week from tomorrow.

1:27:50🔗 Adam Okay, you have eight days to get him drunk and mount him and get him away from his Mormon religion. You need to soil him so that the Mormon church will not take him.

1:28:00🔗 Caller Why does everybody think that? My grandma came down and told me to have sex with him the other day, in front of him, and I was like, what are you talking about? I was like, no, it's not like that.

1:28:09🔗 Adam I see. Well, your grandma's a real piece of work. What a wonderful lady. All right. Hey, Sarah, he's going for two years. Maybe you can go with him. What the hell are you doing? You're not doing anything.

1:28:22🔗 Caller I'm going to college.

1:28:23🔗 Adam You're going to junior college.

1:28:25🔗 Caller I'm going to Buffalo, New York. Do you go to school?

1:28:27🔗 Adam That's not a school. What's over there? You're going to Buffalo, he's going to Rio? You're getting screwed. Go to Rio. What are you doing?

1:28:37🔗 Caller Do you believe you can love somebody for that long and not be able to be with them?

1:28:41🔗 Caller If it's meant to be, it'll be meant to be. You guys keep in touch. You're right. When he comes back, if you still feel the same, then you have every reason to hope that you guys will hook up.

1:28:49🔗 Adam Put it this way. If he was going out there to just go to culinary school or something, you'd be done because he'd bang every chick in Rio. But if he's over there riding in a circle on a bicycle with a clip on tie trying to spread the good word to a bunch of drunken Rio de Janeiroans, you're in fine shape.

1:29:08🔗 Caller All right.

1:29:09🔗 Adam But listen, why don't you go with him? You're not doing anything in Buffalo.

1:29:13🔗 Caller No, I can't do that.

1:29:14🔗 Adam What are you studying?

1:29:15🔗 Caller What's the hope? I'm going to do fashion design, hopefully.

1:29:18🔗 Adam No, please. You get more experience going to Rio than you will go to Buffalo and watch a bunch of chicks and mucklucks and slickers. All right, Sarah.

1:29:28🔗 Caller It's hard for me because I feel like he's pulling away and I know that's the whole point.

1:29:31🔗 Adam All right, listen, baby, don't be so melodramatic. You have two choices. You either go with him to Rio or you go to Buffalo and you wait for him to come back. All right?

1:29:42🔗 Caller Whatever happens, happens and I can love him anyway.

1:29:44🔗 Caller There you go.

1:29:44🔗 Adam You can love him anyway, but I'll tell you what, you don't have to worry about him because he's Mormon and he's on a mission. You're the one who's going to hook up with some dude at a keger four months from now, fall in love, and this poor son of a bitch is going to come back in two years with tears in his eyes. I guarantee it.

1:30:00🔗 Caller No, I cheated on him and I realized I don't want to be with anybody else ever. I know I'm young, but I don't want to be with anybody else.

1:30:07🔗 Adam You already cheated on him?

1:30:09🔗 Caller Yeah, I told him, though.

1:30:10🔗 Adam Okay.

1:30:12🔗 Caller There's a foundation to build a relationship on.

1:30:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:16🔗 Adam Let me tell you something. I hate to do this. This is the part of the job I hate even if it sounds like I'm having a good time with it, but I swear to God, she comes from chaos. She's no virgin. She cheated on the guy already. Two years is a goddamn lifetime when you're 18 and you're starting two years in college. Think about what two years was when you were in college. I mean, you were drunk most of the time, but you still can remember some of those two years. She's going off to Buffalo. She is going to hook up with some dude that she meets in some class. She's going to fall in love with the guy, and this guy is going to come back in two years and be freaked out.

1:30:51🔗 Caller All right.

1:30:51🔗 Adam We will take ourselves a break. We'll be back.

1:30:56🔗 Caller We'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:31:24🔗 Adam Yay, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Marcel over there. Phone number, oh, I forget about that damn phone number. Dr. Marcel, a plastic surgeon, who's really fielded quite a few calls tonight, which just goes to show you that everyone is interested in their appearance.

1:31:42🔗 Caller Yes. If people try to get through with questions about plastic surgery, and you unfortunately didn't get to it, you can go to a website called imagemd.com, happens to be my website, but I'm real good about answering questions, and if you're out of state, I'd be happy to try and hook you up with resources in your part of the country.

1:32:02🔗 Adam Well, that's very good. Do you give it one more time?

1:32:04🔗 Caller imagemd.com.

1:32:06🔗 Adam So there's where you can go, and you can actually communicate firsthand with Dr. Marcel. Darren?

1:32:13🔗 Hey, what's up?

1:32:14🔗 Adam Hey, you're 24. What's up?

1:32:16🔗 Caller I was with my fiancée for going on three years now, and she was having some pains in her pelvic, and we didn't know what it was, so we listen to your show all the time.

1:32:26🔗 Adam Darren, speaking of listening to my show, stop listening to it now. Would you please turn that radio down?

1:32:30🔗 Caller There it is.

1:32:31🔗 Adam Well, I'm hearing something in the background. Now it's gone. Thank you.

1:32:35🔗 Caller You're welcome.

1:32:36🔗 Adam Okay.

1:32:36🔗 Caller Anyway, she was having pains in her pelvic area, and like I said, we listen to your show all the time, so I told her to go get it checked out, you know? And they're thinking it might be cancer of the fallopian tubes. And my question is, is she still going to be able to have children or?

1:32:51🔗 Caller Well, if it's cancer involving both fallopian tubes or if it's a sort of cancer where they're going to have to take both her fallopian tubes and potentially her ovaries, obviously she won't be able to have a kid.

1:33:02🔗 Adam Right. You can have kids with one fallopian tube, but the kid will just have one arm and one leg, right?

1:33:08🔗 Caller Not quite.

1:33:09🔗 Adam I see. Fascinating. You only need one tube.

1:33:13🔗 Caller Right.

1:33:13🔗 Adam And let me, you know, it's a part of life I try to avoid, which is the mechanical end of the vagina.

1:33:20🔗 Caller The business end?

1:33:21🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm like what women are with cars. They don't like to pop the hood.

1:33:24🔗 Caller Right.

1:33:25🔗 Adam Get their hands dirty. I'm that way at the vagina. I like to just sort of stand back, kick the tires a little bit. I don't like to get in there and, you know, change the oil, pull the timing chain or anything like that. But the fallopian tube is where the egg comes down, right?

1:33:39🔗 Caller You've got your vagina, which is connected to the uterus.

1:33:42🔗 Adam Right.

1:33:42🔗 Caller And then feeding into the uterus are two fallopian tubes.

1:33:45🔗 Adam I see. Yes, the two fallopian tubes. And that would be like, if it was a water park down there, that'd be one of those slides.

1:33:52🔗 Caller Right.

1:33:52🔗 Adam And then where the kid would end up would be in the uterus. Yeah, that's a good way to teach kids about how the reproductive system works. The egg would be like the fat kid who's coming down the slide.

1:34:05🔗 Caller There you go.

1:34:06🔗 Adam So he ends up in that little pool known as the uterus. And just as long, and that's where the semen, which is like, let's say, someone whacked off in the pool. There they are. Okay, that would then cling to the egg, which is in the pool. But either way, as long as you have one, you can get an egg down there.

1:34:27🔗 Caller Right.

1:34:28🔗 Adam But if you have none, then what do you do? Can you get the egg and implant it in there?

1:34:32🔗 Caller You could have an in vitro. What's that? You could have an in vitro. If the fallopian tubes are gone and there's too much scarring for the egg to make it into the uterus to be fertilized and implanted, then they could harvest eggs from her and mix it with your sperm and implant that. But a lot is going to be determined by if this really is cancer, what kind of cancer it is, if she's going to have to have chemo, or what.

1:34:55🔗 Adam All right, but here's the deal, Darren. The doctors will figure it out. And if one tube is gone, then you got the other. If the other tube is gone, then you can do in vitro. There's a million options these days. Correct. Okay. So you kids will be fine. I know you will. I know it all turn out fine. All right. Let's talk to Kim. Kim is 32, married and is having an affair with a 22-year-old.

1:35:20🔗 Caller Hi.

1:35:20🔗 Adam Yes. Is that true?

1:35:22🔗 Caller Yes, it is.

1:35:24🔗 Caller How long have you been married?

1:35:26🔗 Caller Nine years.

1:35:27🔗 Adam Who's the 22-year-old?

1:35:29🔗 Caller He is actually one of the supervisors where I work.

1:35:33🔗 Adam I see. By the way, that's a bad sign when you're 10 years older than your supervisor. That means that things have been going according to plan.

1:35:41🔗 Caller And fishing off the company pier.

1:35:42🔗 Adam Right. Does he ever tell you that your hand is not on straight or your smock is secret sauce on it? No.

1:35:49🔗 Caller No.

1:35:50🔗 Adam What do you do for a living?

1:35:51🔗 Caller I work at a large company that delivers.

1:35:57🔗 Adam I see.

1:35:57🔗 Caller Kind of like the postal service.

1:35:59🔗 Adam All right. Now why are you cheating on your husband?

1:36:02🔗 Caller Well, the one thing he... I do feel bad about it for one thing. For another thing, he's... He's done it to me. It's not a get back thing, though. It's a... I'm not pretty enough anymore. I'm not...

1:36:17🔗 Adam Is that what he says?

1:36:18🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. Okay. And after a while, I'm in my moment with... I'm in with people I hate cheating. Okay.

1:36:25🔗 Adam Right. Now I can see that.

1:36:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:36:27🔗 Adam While you're boinking your 22-year-old supervisor. Do you have kids?

1:36:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:36:32🔗 Adam No. How old are they?

1:36:34🔗 Caller I have three kids.

1:36:35🔗 Adam No!

1:36:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:36:36🔗 Adam That breaks my heart, baby.

1:36:38🔗 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:36:39🔗 Adam Yeah. How old are they?

1:36:41🔗 Caller 13, 11, and 4.

1:36:45🔗 Adam I see. Well, they're almost ready to go out on their own. Hey, listen, Kim, and your husband, is he an okay guy besides not treating you that well?

1:36:53🔗 Caller Well, no. I don't think that's an okay guy. You know, the verbal abuse, the...

1:36:57🔗 Adam I see...

1:36:57🔗 Caller .putting down all that.

1:36:58🔗 Adam All right. Kim, listen, we're fresh out of show. Let me tell you something very quickly. You have three goddamn kids. Do you understand me? You're a mother first off.

1:37:09🔗 Caller Right.

1:37:09🔗 Adam You're a woman second.

1:37:11🔗 Caller Right.

1:37:11🔗 Caller Oh, I know this.

1:37:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:37:12🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:37:12🔗 Adam I know you know this, but you got to start acting like it. Now, I'm sorry your husband's in a hole. You shouldn't have married him, but you did. Yeah, we were stupid enough to have three kids with this guy. Three kids you're going to unleash onto society and then they're going to be my problem. Now, here's what I want you to do. Break it off with this 22 year old you work with because this is going nowhere. Don't tell your husband about it and demand that you guys get into some counseling, that you do some work on behalf of this three of the three kids. Do you understand? On behalf of your three children. Three. Alright, so they don't turn out.

1:37:47🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:37:48🔗 Adam Alright, what the hell was that? I don't know. The Drunken Husband? Alright, we'll take a break, we'll be back. Well, there you have it. Another fabulous episode of Loveline In the Ground. I want to thank Marcel for coming in tonight, Dr. Marcel, for doing a fantabulous job. And I really mean it. I'm impressed. You did a great job tonight. And it's just how it should have went. We got a bunch of questions that were right in your wheelhouse and you hit them out of the ballpark.

1:38:42🔗 Caller It's always fun coming on. You guys have always been great.

1:38:44🔗 Adam Well, I do appreciate you coming in. And like I said, real nice job tonight. Give your website out one more time if people have more questions.

1:38:51🔗 Caller That's www.imagemd.com.

1:38:54🔗 Adam Fantabulous. All right, thank you Marcel. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Marcel saying mahalo.

1:39:03🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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