Tuesday, December 5, 2000

3:11🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

3:23🔗 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 3108-54-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist with tinnitus.

3:38🔗 Drew Indeed, thank you.

3:39🔗 Adam He is fresh off the plane from scenic Milwaukee and has joined us in the studio tonight. Justin Whalin is our guest tonight. Justin is one of the stars, I'd say the biggest star in Dungeons and Dragons, which is, is that fair?

3:56🔗 Justin Whalin Well, Jeremy Irons, Marlon Wayans, Thor Birch, they kind of read, I guess.

3:59🔗 Drew Except for those three, you know.

4:01🔗 Adam I don't know those names. The movie's coming out this Friday?

4:06🔗 Justin Whalin Yes.

4:07🔗 Adam Good. There's nothing worse than when it's been out for a week and a half and you want to know when it's coming out.

4:12🔗 Justin Whalin Exactly.

4:12🔗 Adam But I figured it was coming out this Friday. Justin, I was looking at Justin's bio, he was in Lois & Clark, pardon me, and Charles in Charge, this was the exciting one. Were you the kid?

4:27🔗 Justin Whalin I was the cousin. I was only, this was about 12 years ago and I played kind of the Chachi-esque character on the Charles in Charge show for about six episodes.

4:37🔗 Adam For about six episodes because he went on to star in the sitcom Charles in Charge, to me means more than six episodes on a show that taped 150 episodes.

4:48🔗 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

4:49🔗 Adam See, this is why I can't stand publicists. First off, why would you be bragging that your client was on Charles in Charge?

4:56🔗 Justin Whalin Hey, listen, I didn't write it. I don't know. I know. That's the boy. That's the boy. The funny thing about it too is it's so long ago that anybody who remembers me from Charles in Charge was like four when they were watching it.

5:07🔗 And what are we supposed to infer?

5:08🔗 Adam Hey, Charles in Charge, this kid's got talent.

5:11🔗 Justin Whalin That's exciting.

5:11🔗 Adam He's going places.

5:12🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah.

5:13🔗 Adam You see the CC on it.

5:15🔗 Justin Whalin When you're 13, 14, that's a good gig to get. But, you know.

5:18🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

5:19🔗 Justin Whalin When you're 26, it's not really something you need to talk about.

5:22🔗 You need to pretend it never happened.

5:23🔗 Adam I was in charge of a wand for cleaning carpets for many years. So this is a good gig. I'm not belittling the gig at all. I'm just saying I hate these goddamn publicists because I was when he said he went on to star in Charles In Charge, I figured he must be the kid Charles was in charge of.

5:43🔗 Justin Whalin No.

5:44🔗 Adam But six episodes.

5:45🔗 Justin Whalin No, it's just six episodes.

5:46🔗 Adam Out of the hundred and fifty.

5:47🔗 Justin Whalin It was just a recurring role.

5:48🔗 Adam I see. And Willie Ames, Big A-hole.

5:51🔗 Justin Whalin No, Willie Ames is actually a really nice guy. He's a really good guy.

5:55🔗 Scott Baehm?

5:59🔗 Adam I haven't heard that many great things about Scott Baehm.

6:02🔗 Drew Didn't we have him on the TV show?

6:04🔗 Adam I don't know. Yes, yes, we did. I did admire his work in Zapped.

6:10🔗 Justin Whalin That was good. That was good stuff.

6:12🔗 Adam That wasn't a movie. That was a picture.

6:14🔗 Justin Whalin That was nice.

6:15🔗 Adam A film. I'm sorry. And then of course, his stellar work in Diagnosis Murder. Listen, here's all I know about Scott Baehm. Scott Baehm, I was doing carpentry for, he had an assistant. His assistant worked for many celebrities. You know, this works, Drew. There's people, they're like liaisons. She did-

6:40🔗 Drew The seconds.

6:41🔗 Yeah.

6:42🔗 Adam This woman, her name is Estee. She worked for Katie Seagal from Married with Children. She worked for Scott Baehm. God knows who else she worked for. And I was a carpenter. And so she used to call me up when her clients needed some work around the house and I'd go do some work. And Charles Scott was gonna buy his brother, one of those workmates, one of those black and decker kind of workbench saw horse things that folds out with a little clamp on it. And I guess they make three models. They make like the crappy one, the medium one, and then the deluxe one. It's 65, 85, and 105 bucks. I just remember that he specified to her that he needed- The crappy one? No, mid-range. Not that bad a guy, but don't get my brother the deluxe one.

7:29🔗 Justin Whalin Middle of the road.

7:29🔗 Adam I make 55 grand an episode, but that son of a bitch.

7:34🔗 Justin Whalin He doesn't deserve a nice workbench.

7:36🔗 Adam Not the one with the- Not the one with the clamp. No.

7:40🔗 Justin Whalin All right.

7:40🔗 Adam So, let's talk about this movie, because nobody knows less about Dungeons and Dragons than me and possibly Drew.

7:48🔗 Drew He means the game.

7:49🔗 Adam I've never played the game in my life. Does it have anything to do with the game?

7:52🔗 Justin Whalin Well, of course. I mean, it sticks to the rules of the game to a certain extent, but beyond that, it really doesn't. It wasn't made for- It wasn't- We're not sitting around playing the game and get zapped into the game or something like that. We take the world that Dungeons and Dragons created, which it didn't create any specific world. It just created some rules and kind of creatures that exist in any kind of fantasy world. And whoever's playing it can change whatever world they want it to be. And we just created our own world and told a story in that world.

8:18🔗 Adam What was the budget on this?

8:19🔗 Justin Whalin Thirty-six million.

8:20🔗 Adam So a lot of science fiction stuff. I mean, a lot of special effects, that kind of thing.

8:26🔗 Justin Whalin There's over 500 visual effects in the movie. In the last sequence, there's 300 dragons battling in a CGI city for 11 minutes.

8:34🔗 Adam Is it better than one of those marine commercials where the guy has to climb up the ladder and slay the dragon?

8:41🔗 Drew Yeah. Same people produce this.

8:42🔗 Adam They can't show him torturing gooks. He's got to kill a dragon. What country might we do battle with that would have themselves a dragon in their arsenal, Drew? You know of any? Probably maybe China. Don't they have a dragon?

8:55🔗 Drew On certain years.

8:56🔗 Adam Certain years, yeah. Other years, we're fighting a rat.

8:58🔗 Justin Whalin The Trojan Dragon.

8:59🔗 Drew Chicken, rat, Trojan dog.

9:02🔗 Adam All right, so this is a Hit in the Theaters coming this Friday. And yeah, some big names in this.

9:08🔗 Drew Do you know Ron in Madison, Wisconsin?

9:10🔗 Adam Yeah, we are.

9:12🔗 Drew Got a new follower there.

9:13🔗 Adam Really?

9:13🔗 Drew Yeah, I thought we were, I knew one time in La Crosse and we had, remember we were in Wisconsin?

9:18🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:18🔗 Drew That's where we had that Donny Osmond experience.

9:20🔗 Adam We did?

9:21🔗 Drew And white something, white planet.

9:23🔗 Justin Whalin You're giving me a hard time about Charles and Charles and you're talking about Donny Osmond.

9:26🔗 Drew We were jogging through the campus.

9:29🔗 Adam Oh, yes. Yeah. We were, Drew and I were doing a little speaking engagement somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin. And we got to the town, a very small college town. What was it called? White Plains?

9:42🔗 Drew White Water.

9:43🔗 Adam Drew, don't eat all of my goddamn popcorn. I'm putting it over here.

9:47🔗 Drew White Water.

9:47🔗 Adam White Water. And it's a very small town. It should really be called Jerk Water, is what they had to change it to. And we're staying in some crappy Ramada and somewhere. We got in the town at like three, four in the afternoon and the gig wasn't until eight o'clock at night. So I wanted to do heroin and pass out, but Drew wanted to go jogging. And so we decided to go for a nice jog and we're jogging down the street and there was, we're jogging down, I guess it was Sorority Row. We didn't know any better. We didn't know where we were.

10:15🔗 Justin Whalin Sure you didn't.

10:16🔗 Adam And there are all these arrows with panties hanging off them. But anyway, we're jogging down Sorority Row and as fate would have it or luck would have it, all of the girls from one sorority are out on their front lawn getting ready to pose for a picture. The photographer's back is to the street and they're all posed in front of their sorority house. There's 50 girls sitting out front on bleachers. Drew and I come jogging down the street, turn the corner and one of the girls yells like, hey, that's Adam and Drew from Loveline.

10:49🔗 And the next one's like, get them.

10:50🔗 Adam And it's like, they're all chasing us. It was really, it was like the Osmonds cartoon.

10:54🔗 Justin Whalin Are you sure you didn't do the heroin and then go jogging?

10:57🔗 Adam You're right. They've just all been the heroines. That's right. And I was chasing a dragon and they were chasing us. No, but it was, I guess, they don't have a lot of celebrities jogging through their town.

11:08🔗 Drew Wisconsin? No.

11:10🔗 Adam Not Wisconsin. Yeah. So that was my one, that was my one brush with what it must be like to be a celebrity.

11:17🔗 Drew That's right.

11:18🔗 Adam It was like, you know, Ricky Martin for about a hundred feet.

11:21🔗 Drew Right. They just wanted to give you that experience.

11:23🔗 Adam Right. And it worked. Jack? You're 17.

11:27🔗 Caller Yeah, that's right. Well, first of all, right before I called, I was listening to the radio and I was listening to this show and it was a different show than the one that you're doing right now.

11:37🔗 Drew Probably last night.

11:38🔗 The one with Vanessa?

11:40🔗 Drew Last night, yes.

11:41🔗 Caller Yeah. How long ago was that?

11:42🔗 Drew Last night.

11:43🔗 Caller Last night, all right. You were just talking about the poster that she had.

11:48🔗 Adam Yes.

11:48🔗 Caller Is there anywhere I can get a copy of that?

11:50🔗 Adam Yes, I'll rush it over myself.

11:52🔗 Drew Is it here?

11:53🔗 Caller I don't know.

11:54🔗 Adam I think if you go to vanessak.com, that's K-A-Y, you can find whatever you need to find.

12:02🔗 Caller Yeah, but I want the one that I can find.

12:04🔗 Caller Jack, do you have a question?

12:05🔗 Drew Jack, do you have a question?

12:06🔗 Adam Oh, that one, yeah. Yeah, like I said, I'll swing by the house on the way home tonight and drop it off for you.

12:11🔗 Caller All right.

12:12🔗 Adam You want a burger? You're peckish? You need something else? How about a couple of movie rentals?

12:17🔗 Drew You have a question, Jack?

12:18🔗 Caller Yeah, I do. I wanted to know what it is that causes the male fascination with lesbianism as like, if it doesn't seem to exist the other way around.

12:29🔗 Drew No, it isn't the other way around at all. It's a viable question because women always ask that question. Why is he so into lesbians? Why does that happen?

12:35🔗 Adam Well, I mean, listen, we like vagina and women are scared of penis. So we have two vagina and two penis.

12:43🔗 Drew Two penis bad.

12:44🔗 Adam That's right.

12:44🔗 Drew Two vagina good.

12:45🔗 Justin Whalin I think there's some things you don't try to understand. You just accept it.

12:48🔗 Drew I really think it's a mathematic thing. But also, men, two is better.

12:51🔗 Adam Put it this way. How many men have two cars as opposed to how many women have two cars? You know what I'm saying? I think women, even when they have money, don't have two cars. And a guy, the first thing he'll do when he makes a little money is start putting a couple of cars in the garage. You know what I mean? We like to collect stuff. And it's no different with women. We like abundance.

13:14🔗 Drew It also goes at how differently men and women tend to experience their sexual experiences, which is for women it's about a connection with one person. It's a connection. For men it's a very visual, pure sex experience many times, most times for young men. So it's about sex, so more sex, fine. For women it's more people there. It starts to not make sense.

13:34🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah, and I think it depends also on your culture. I mean, in the United States, monogamy is the thing. You go to Saudi Arabia, you got a harem.

13:40🔗 Adam Oh, yeah? Well, you got to get over there.

13:43🔗 Drew But again, the women don't... They don't...

13:45🔗 Justin Whalin It's not for them.

13:46🔗 Adam No.

13:46🔗 Justin Whalin It's just not their kind of thing.

13:47🔗 Adam Oh, you kidding? They've never been happy over in... happier over there in Saudi Arabia.

13:52🔗 Justin Whalin They all look good in black.

13:54🔗 Adam Wearing those sheets on their head and getting beat and doing that weird... all they do over there. Translation is, get me the F out of Saudi Arabia.

14:03🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah, get me to the States.

14:04🔗 Adam Kurt?

14:06🔗 Hi there.

14:06🔗 Adam You're 18, what's up?

14:07🔗 Caller Yeah, I have extremely sweaty testicles.

14:11🔗 Drew Oh, the Corolla Syndrome.

14:12🔗 Adam Join the club.

14:13🔗 Drew Yeah, the Corolla Curse.

14:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

14:17🔗 Caller Yeah, and the Harry too.

14:19🔗 Caller I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

14:21🔗 Drew Well, Harry can promote sweat.

14:22🔗 Something wrong with his testicles?

14:24🔗 Adam It keeps it in, yeah.

14:26🔗 Drew Yes, what do you do?

14:27🔗 Adam What do I do? I dump talc down my shorts before I leave the house.

14:31🔗 Drew No, I had a big discussion with Jimmy about this. He's very careful to use corn starch. He's convinced it's going to give him cancer.

14:38🔗 Adam He has a regal balls, not me. I'll dump anything down there. I'll put a sack of flour down there. I'll dump some baking soda down there. Whatever, anything in a powder form. I just dumped acid all over my penis. Yeah, or some acid.

14:54🔗 Drew Whatever will stop. But you really have to just kind of learn to manage that, Kurt, there's no real treatment for that. And a lot of the kinds of things we might use to stop the sweatiness of the palms. That could be irritating to the testes.

15:07🔗 Justin Whalin Pack napkins.

15:09🔗 Adam Your balls are sort of the sponge of the body, right?

15:13🔗 Drew The balls.

15:14🔗 Adam You will absorb something.

15:16🔗 Drew Pretty easily. It's pretty thin skin.

15:19🔗 Adam If you ever work with gasoline and then you scratch yourself down there, there's going to be a burning sensation and you will belch up gasoline. I mean your body, you will take in what you put down there. You know what I'm saying, Drew? So you can't be dumping anything. I wouldn't monkey with it too much. Just dump that starch down there. And what about that, Drew, with me and my talc? Am I going to get to cancer?

15:43🔗 Drew The only stuff I've read about that pertains to women.

15:45🔗 Adam You give women cancer? Well, that's fine. Problems there. Fernando?

15:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:51🔗 Adam You're 15.

15:52🔗 Caller Yeah. I have a really big problem. Well, I wouldn't call it a problem. I'd call it more of a blessing.

16:01🔗 I was born with 3 testicles.

16:03🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was wondering, is that something I should get rid of?

16:08🔗 Drew How do you know you were born with 3 testicles?

16:10🔗 Caller Well, the thing is that when they dropped when I was about 9, when they fell in, all 3 of them were there.

16:18🔗 Drew The doctor said that's another testicle there?

16:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:21🔗 Drew I don't buy it. There's all kinds of things that can attach to the test to make it feel like another one.

16:27🔗 Caller But when I told him about it, he was asking me, are you sure it's not just a cyst on it?

16:31🔗 Drew Of course, that's what it is.

16:33🔗 Caller No, it's not on it.

16:34🔗 Caller It's 3 different ones.

16:36🔗 Adam What did the doctor say?

16:38🔗 Caller He said it's pretty much what a testicle is, except it has nothing but sperm in it.

16:45🔗 Adam Really?

16:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:46🔗 Drew Then that's not a testicle. It's probably a seminal vesicle or an epididymus or something.

16:50🔗 Adam How does he know what's in it?

16:52🔗 Caller Well, they did like...

16:53🔗 Drew Oh, it's a spermatosy. That's a cyst. It's not an extra testicle. That's a cyst.

16:57🔗 Adam Well, he heard the word spermatosy. He only pictured a sort of golden egg filled with creamy sperm.

17:02🔗 Drew Now, that's not another testicle. It's a spermatosy.

17:04🔗 Adam I hope the seized people are listening. Now, there's a plan.

17:06🔗 Drew Wait, do you have a question about that?

17:08🔗 Adam For Valentine's Day. You know what I mean?

17:09🔗 Drew Wait, wait, wait.

17:10🔗 Adam Sperm egg.

17:11🔗 Drew Oh, nice.

17:12🔗 Adam Nice.

17:12🔗 Drew Easter.

17:14🔗 Adam Rich milk chocolate on the outside.

17:16🔗 Drew Nougat.

17:17🔗 Adam And creamy nougat-y sperm on the inside. Tell your lover with more than...

17:21🔗 Justin Whalin I don't know why you had to tell him there wasn't another bar. He was very happy about the whole thing. He was a blessing.

17:26🔗 Adam I thought he was a chosen one.

17:27🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah, he was a chosen one.

17:28🔗 Drew What's your question, Fernando?

17:31🔗 Adam Oh, he who has three nuts, we come to you seeking wisdom.

17:34🔗 Drew Yes.

17:34🔗 Adam We're humble in your presence.

17:36🔗 Caller Bow before the sack, names.

17:38🔗 Drew Syslight actually can't affect fertility, so there may become a time in your life where that needs to come out. Okay? Oh, mom.

17:44🔗 All right.

17:45🔗 Adam Listen, if Fernando's at your mom or your girlfriend, two vaginas or... No.

17:51🔗 Okay.

17:52🔗 Drew Is she okay? Yeah.

17:54🔗 Adam All right.

17:54🔗 Drew Now you got a question?

17:56🔗 Adam Yeah. Fernando.

17:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

17:58🔗 Adam Listen, are you Mexican?

18:00🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:01🔗 Adam All right. Between your Hispanic blood and your three nuts, you're going to be able to get someone pregnant from a BJ. You understand me? So just wear some protection.

18:10🔗 Drew Do you have a question, Fernando?

18:11🔗 Adam That was his question.

18:14🔗 Drew What's the question? You there?

18:16🔗 Adam No, he had to hang up his mom. Drew, when are you going to ever, when are you going to realize that every instinct you ever have about radio is bad? Like whenever you go, let's hear what they have to say or hold on or is that what it is?

18:28🔗 Drew I've been able to survive this many years on radio just because you don't like it. It's just like Ann not liking your humor. Just because Ann doesn't like your humor doesn't mean no one likes it. Just because you don't like my lameness doesn't mean no one likes it.

18:40🔗 Adam No, hold on. First off, you know, being fair to Ann, how dare you on Ann's behalf? Producer Ann does not dislike my humor. She just doesn't like it. There's a difference. Do you understand?

18:50🔗 Drew All right. You don't like my lameness either.

18:52🔗 Adam Ann thinks of my humor like I think like I think about veal. I don't dislike veal. I'm just, you know, I'd rather eat chicken.

18:59🔗 Drew My point of my analogy was not for you to go off the ten.

19:02🔗 I think you're very funny.

19:03🔗 Adam See, there you go.

19:04🔗 Turns out I do like I don't like farting and all that.

19:07🔗 Caller But that's where she draws the line.

19:11🔗 Drew That's the main staple of humor.

19:12🔗 Adam I hate to agree with Drew, but it is kind of my core. That's Andy Youngman with my, you know, Take My Wife, Please.

19:18🔗 Justin Whalin Take away all his best stuff.

19:20🔗 Adam That's right. That's like telling Dangerfield, I like your stuff, but not the no respect part.

19:24🔗 Drew Yeah. But the point was, of bringing up this analogy, was not to have you go ten minutes more on you, but just to bring up that you don't like my nameless. Doesn't mean no one likes my nameless.

19:33🔗 Adam No, no one likes your nameless.

19:37🔗 Drew I can't hear. I can't hear myself.

19:38🔗 Adam Yeah. Drew's ears popped when he was coming down on the plane.

19:42🔗 Drew This damn illness I've had for a week. My head, I thought it was going to explode. I have great sympathy for people that get that now. I broke a sweat. I was like, sweat agitated. I thought I was going to have to jump off the plane.

19:52🔗 Adam Can't you cure yourself? Can't you get something? Can't you get some kind of decongestant or something?

19:57🔗 Drew I'm on decongestant. We're anticipating this problem.

20:01🔗 Adam Wow. Yeah.

20:02🔗 Drew It's bad. Bad times.

20:03🔗 Adam You should be docked. Crystal?

20:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:05🔗 Adam You're 16. What's up?

20:09🔗 Caller My mom always tells me that if I like sleep in my barge, there's something that some big old problem's gonna happen. And I don't know if it's true or not, or if she's just telling me that to scare me or.

20:20🔗 Drew Why do you sleep in your barge?

20:22🔗 Caller I don't know.

20:22🔗 It's just comfortable.

20:25🔗 Drew It can, is it an underwire barge? Is it a wire, like an underwire barge?

20:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:30🔗 Drew The wire can irritate and cause discomfort, but that's about it.

20:34🔗 Caller It can't be like problems though or?

20:37🔗 Drew No, not really, no.

20:38🔗 Caller Okay, because she's always like, oh, you're going to regret it. Don't do that.

20:41🔗 Drew Why? I understand.

20:43🔗 Caller Okay.

20:43🔗 Drew What does she concern about?

20:44🔗 Adam Wait a minute. How big are you?

20:46🔗 I'm 38.

20:48🔗 Justin Whalin 38? D?

20:50🔗 B.

20:50🔗 Adam B.

20:51🔗 Caller No, not big.

20:52🔗 Adam Hey, you're B.

20:53🔗 Caller Yeah, not B. Yeah.

20:54🔗 Adam Why do you need a bra? Why do you need to sleep in a bra when you're sort of modest?

20:58🔗 Caller I don't know. It's just comfortable.

21:00🔗 Drew That's what she wants.

21:01🔗 Adam Put on a hockey helmet and a pair of later hosens while you're at it. It's not comfortable. Really get comfortable.

21:09🔗 Okay.

21:10🔗 Adam Listen, Crystal, I'd start losing the bra for the sleep.

21:14🔗 Caller Okay.

21:14🔗 Adam I really would.

21:15🔗 Caller Okay.

21:15🔗 Drew I don't know what your mom's worried about, but it'd be interesting to ask her. What is it she thinks is going to happen?

21:20🔗 Adam But there's a reason why they call it wives' tales and not dad's tales, because women are kind of stupid. Isn't that Tredor? You were saying before, that we went on in there.

21:29🔗 Uh-huh.

21:30🔗 Adam Yeah. Is your mom not an intelligent woman?

21:34🔗 Pretty. She is, yeah.

21:36🔗 Adam She is. All right.

21:37🔗 All right.

21:37🔗 Adam Take the bra off. Make her happy.

21:39🔗 Okay.

21:39🔗 Adam Isn't it confusing when you wake up in the morning? Are you ever tired and put a second bra on?

21:45🔗 No.

21:46🔗 Adam And what about the bra? Doesn't it get a little smelly? Does she have to kind of take care of that?

21:50🔗 Caller Well, I change it, but...

21:51🔗 Adam You change into a new bra?

21:52🔗 Caller In the morning, I do, yeah.

21:53🔗 Adam When you get up, do you have a night bra?

21:57🔗 Drew Maybe she's worried about your neck or shoulders or something's gonna happen that way. You know, some muscular stuff.

22:02🔗 Adam I had a younger sister who strangled herself in her sleep with a bra.

22:05🔗 Caller Oh, it's a shame.

22:06🔗 Adam She died that way.

22:07🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

22:07🔗 Adam We buried her in her bra.

22:09🔗 Drew Freak bra accident.

22:10🔗 Adam Freak bra incident.

22:11🔗 Drew As an homage. I've seen it happen. It's ugly.

22:13🔗 Adam Well, you know, it's the kind of thing that it started to hit the newspapers and the made-in-form people jumped all over it, got their lawyers in there and closed it down. Oh, they don't want the truth to come out.

22:23🔗 Drew Sure, sure. The man.

22:25🔗 Adam All right. Lisa?

22:27🔗 Yes.

22:27🔗 Adam You're 32?

22:28🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

22:30🔗 Adam Hey, Sarah, get us some real questions, would you please?

22:33🔗 Drew This is a great call.

22:33🔗 Oh, they are fantastic.

22:35🔗 Caller You are an asshole.

22:36🔗 Adam That's great radio. I sleep in my bra. Is that all right? Yeah, that's fine.

22:40🔗 Drew All right. We never had that one before.

22:42🔗 Adam The reason we never had it is because it's horrible.

22:45🔗 Drew What's going on, Lisa?

22:47🔗 Caller Well, when I was 16, I stopped carrying my period and went to a lot of doctors. And by the time I was 18, I found out that I basically went into premature menopause.

22:58🔗 Adam Wow. She went to a lot of doctors.

23:01🔗 Caller That's worse. She said actors.

23:02🔗 Justin Whalin I thought she said actors too.

23:04🔗 Caller Well, no, because a lot of the doctors around here didn't know what they were talking about, didn't know what was wrong with me. All the regular problems that girls have when they stop having their periods wasn't what was wrong with me.

23:15🔗 Drew Right, right, right.

23:16🔗 Caller Because I didn't have any estrogen.

23:18🔗 Drew Was it the ovary shutting down or was it the pituitary? Do they know where the failure came from?

23:23🔗 Caller I believe it is the ovary.

23:24🔗 Drew That's what menopause is, the ovaries, but is it a primary problem in the ovary, do they decide, or is it a problem with the hormones driving the ovary? They didn't figure it out.

23:35🔗 Caller No. Well. I had too much progesterone. I think my pituitary gland was trying to get my ovaries to work.

23:41🔗 Drew I see. Okay.

23:42🔗 Caller That's what I believe. Because I had always had so much progesterone that when they would give me progesterone, I'd get really sick.

23:48🔗 Adam Hey, Lisa.

23:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

23:50🔗 Adam And what other problems manifested themselves with this premature...

23:55🔗 Caller Well, everything that comes with menopause, you get half lashes.

23:58🔗 Adam So you started wearing those huge glasses.

24:00🔗 Caller No, not yet.

24:02🔗 Adam Chain around it.

24:03🔗 Drew Arthopedic shoes.

24:04🔗 Adam Talking way too much.

24:05🔗 Caller I look really young for my age. I look like I'm about maybe, I don't know, 25. So I do look kind of young for my age.

24:11🔗 Drew Are you on?

24:12🔗 Adam Hold on a second. You don't leave long rambling messages into my phone machine.

24:17🔗 Caller And your, John, your stepdad's gonna be coming from work.

24:22🔗 Adam So no, nothing like that?

24:25🔗 Caller No, not yet.

24:26🔗 Drew So you're on estrogen now?

24:27🔗 Caller No, actually, about three years ago, none of the doctors I went to all this, I did finally get to some specialists and find out what was wrong with me. Yeah, yeah. But none of the doctors that I had gone to other than one, and then he left to go to the Mayo Clinic, would help me with the doses of synthetic hormones I would take. I get sick from them.

24:52🔗 Adam You live on like a raft in the Louisiana Delta? No. Where are you calling from?

24:58🔗 Caller A little town in Illinois. I actually went to the University of Wisconsin, which was funny because on your earlier show you talked about Madison, which is right up in there. But...

25:08🔗 Caller All right, Drew, what should she do?

25:09🔗 Adam Oh, please. It's going on too long with all the estrogen and...

25:13🔗 Drew It's a really interesting problem. I want to know why she'd not take... I mean, it's important she'd take estrogen. Lisa?

25:18🔗 Adam Why aren't you taking estrogen?

25:19🔗 Caller Because I get so sick from it.

25:20🔗 Drew But you've got to do that, right? You understand that.

25:23🔗 Caller Well, I have one question about... I heard that there's like a new kind of estrogen that has like a four part to it.

25:28🔗 That's supposed to be better for your body.

25:31🔗 Drew Well, it's all debatable. I happen to be a fan of conjugated estrogens because it looks like all the different types of estrogen are important for you. Conjugation?

25:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:40🔗 Drew But there are phytoestrogens, there are plant estrogens out there.

25:43🔗 Adam I was a fan of conjugated estrogens too, and that was the mid-80s. And then I got to know them. And I can't talk about it over the radio, but I would tell you, no fan anymore.

25:53🔗 No more conjugation?

25:54🔗 Adam No. Not after what I found out.

25:56🔗 Drew But the phytoestrogens, the plant estrogens, are probably what you're talking about. And those are easier to take. But it is important that you get on estrogen. You understand that you'll get softening of the bones, maybe risk for dementia and heart disease and things. And this is all stuff. And you're a small woman, you've said.

26:13🔗 Yeah.

26:13🔗 Drew You've got to get the same.

26:14🔗 Adam Take those.

26:15🔗 Now I have a question.

26:15🔗 Adam No, I want to hear it. No, go off the goddamn air and talk about it. Jesus Christ.

26:22🔗 Drew What do you think this is? The show tries to help people or something?

26:24🔗 Adam How dare you? Go hack that frog you've been blowing for the last week out of that throat of yours. I would love to. Go talk to her off the air.

26:33🔗 Drew Be gone.

26:34🔗 Adam Be gone. See that?

26:37🔗 Drew Just. A wave of the magic hand.

26:39🔗 Adam Go away.

26:39🔗 Caller Your call is over.

26:41🔗 Adam I grow weary of your presence. Drew, seriously, talk to her about Ashton off the air and give me my popcorn back. How dare you abduct my popcorn after eating three quarters of the bag while I carried the show? How dare you?

26:56🔗 Justin Whalin You should have seen Adam Strangling for that popcorn too before you got here.

26:59🔗 Adam I'll banish him from this studio. I'll thank you never to return until the commercial's over.

27:08🔗 Love Lines with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

27:17🔗 Caller Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7, The Buzz. KQBC, Seattle. You're listening to Love Line on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7, The Buzz.

27:35🔗 Caller Hi, this is Donny Osmond, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. There he is.

27:40🔗 Adam Who was it? Donny Osmond. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4, 44.

27:48🔗 Drew I'm just practicing your hand movement.

27:50🔗 Adam Yes, be gone. The king is not of yours. Justin Whalin is our guest tonight. He's in Dungeons and Dragons, which is coming out this Friday. Jeremy Irons, and who else is in this?

28:03🔗 Justin Whalin Marlon Wayans, Thor Birch. And then there's some great cameos. Richard O'Brien from Rocky Horror Picture Show, Tom Baker from Doctor Who.

28:12🔗 Adam Which one was Richard O'Brien from Rocky Horror Picture Show?

28:14🔗 Justin Whalin He was riff raff and he actually wrote all the music for the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The bald guy.

28:19🔗 Adam God, is he an idiot.

28:20🔗 Justin Whalin He is a strange cat.

28:21🔗 Adam He is a prick. I hate that guy. You hate him? He was on the show once. He was a real contentious, real sort of... He's English. He's English.

28:31🔗 Drew Oh, God.

28:31🔗 Adam He's a big pain in the ass. He was on the show once. It was like four, three, four years ago. He was just such a pretentious pain in the ass.

28:39🔗 Drew Nice.

28:40🔗 Adam Anyway.

28:40🔗 Justin Whalin He's a significant guy.

28:41🔗 Adam I hate that guy. A rocky whore.

28:43🔗 Justin Whalin He's funny.

28:44🔗 Caller You just gotta take him for it.

28:45🔗 Adam No, you don't. A-hole. All right. So, yeah. Oh, yeah. Thor Birch. Yeah. What movies has she done? I know her.

28:53🔗 Justin Whalin American Beauty.

28:55🔗 Drew Yeah.

28:56🔗 Justin Whalin She was the daughter in American Beauty.

28:57🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

28:58🔗 Drew The daughter.

28:59🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

28:59🔗 Justin Whalin Kevin Spacey's daughter in American Beauty.

29:01🔗 Adam She's a little crazy, too.

29:02🔗 Drew We had her on the TV show.

29:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:03🔗 Adam Yeah. She has no picnic either. No. Boy, she must have been miserable on that set. No.

29:08🔗 Drew You know what?

29:08🔗 Justin Whalin We had a great time. We had an odd assortment of people, but we actually got along because we were all kind of crazy.

29:13🔗 Drew We had she and the other one.

29:15🔗 Justin Whalin Mina.

29:16🔗 Adam Oh, man.

29:17🔗 Drew And they were like communicating in special tongue and languages. And we were all privy to.

29:23🔗 Adam Yeah, they were using their horns or something. They didn't speak. I didn't like either one of them. I thought they were both a pain in the ass.

29:29🔗 Justin Whalin Well, you don't seem to like a whole lot of people.

29:31🔗 Adam No. And you're on my ass list, too, buddy.

29:33🔗 Caller You should pipe down.

29:34🔗 Justin Whalin I can see it coming.

29:35🔗 Caller Shut his mic off. I've heard just about enough lift out of Charles and Charles. Drew got kicked out.

29:39🔗 Justin Whalin Now I'm about to get kicked out.

29:41🔗 Caller Well, you just happened.

29:42🔗 Justin Whalin We're just Adam Corolla show.

29:43🔗 Adam Hold on. Thank you. Now you're talking. That's now I'm talking about. It just happened to bring up a couple of people. Drew, you did the TV show when those two came on there. Would you call them delightful by any stretch of the imagination?

29:58🔗 Drew Not the word that leaps into my mind. No. And not evil, but not evil.

30:03🔗 Adam Just not a good interview. Yeah. Not easy people.

30:06🔗 Drew Not easy.

30:07🔗 Adam Not easy to sit around and chat.

30:09🔗 Justin Whalin Thor can sometimes. She's actually a pretty quiet girl. She's not much of a talker.

30:13🔗 Drew Yeah. She was on a talk show.

30:15🔗 Justin Whalin Well, you know, that's kind of a problem, but you know, beyond that, she's not, she doesn't mean anything bad by it.

30:20🔗 Adam All right. And.

30:21🔗 Drew No doubt.

30:21🔗 Adam Who else? Yes. Ray Framph. You don't remember him, Drew. I hated that.

30:25🔗 Drew Not at all.

30:26🔗 Adam Dave?

30:27🔗 Drew Yes.

30:27🔗 Adam You're 23. What's up?

30:29🔗 Caller Yeah. About a month ago, I had this so-called bladder infection where I had blood coming out of my penis.

30:34🔗 Drew Nice.

30:35🔗 Caller And I went to the emergency room. They did a bunch of tests and they couldn't find anything growing in the cultures, whatever.

30:43🔗 Drew So it wasn't a urine infection?

30:45🔗 Caller Yeah. It was something else. Right. And I've been back and forth to urologists for the past month and a half. And I'm almost unable to urinate. You know, it's really hard to urinate now.

30:57🔗 Drew Have they found anything?

30:59🔗 Caller No. They did. Like I said, they did like a scope where they went into a bladder.

31:02🔗 Drew It's called a cystoscopy.

31:04🔗 Caller Yeah, it's my prostate, whatever, and nothing.

31:07🔗 Adam They sent something up the penis?

31:10🔗 Drew Oh, it's not just something. It's a tube, like about this big.

31:14🔗 Adam No, it's not as big as your finger.

31:15🔗 Caller And they tell you to relax.

31:17🔗 Drew Just relax. Just relax. It's easily this. It's this. Well, that's sick as rot of you.

31:20🔗 Adam No, it is not that.

31:21🔗 Drew Oh, yes, it is.

31:22🔗 Adam Listen, you cannot get something that's a three-eighths of an inch wide up your urethra. You can't do it.

31:28🔗 Drew And what they do, here's the real, the art in all this, is that they go down the shaft of the penis, then they have to pull all your junk down because the hole to get through into your bladder is actually under here. Your kids all got to come down and then go through there. Wow.

31:41🔗 Adam That'll kill your boner.

31:42🔗 Caller I know when I masturbate, it makes it worse.

31:45🔗 Drew Yeah. I would think maybe. Yeah, that's irritating and makes it make it more. If you're having prostate problems, which it sounds like you're having, or at least muscle problem around the... You take any medication or supplements or anything?

31:56🔗 Caller They gave me like a...

31:57🔗 Drew No, no, no. Yeah, I know. See, they're trying to relax the muscle at the head of the bladder there that lets the urine out through the penis. But were you taking anything before that?

32:08🔗 Caller Nothing.

32:08🔗 Drew Were you doing a lot of spinning or biking or anything?

32:11🔗 Caller No, I think I might have injured it on my back. There's a hard piece of wood that when I sleep, it lodges up in there like when I'm sleeping.

32:20🔗 Drew I'm trying to imagine.

32:22🔗 Adam I slept on a mop handle for years too, so I know what it's like.

32:28🔗 Drew That was in the rain.

32:29🔗 Adam Not the whole mop, just a 10-inch piece that was sitting up. Futon?

32:32🔗 Caller The wooden futon.

32:34🔗 Adam You know what futon means in Japanese? Bear trap. It's them paying us back for World War II. There's nothing worse than a futon, nothing. It's the world's most uncomfortable bed that folds, or sofa that folds out in the world's most uncomfortable bed. It sucks. I've had something on a futon for two years.

32:52🔗 Drew It's funny. Is it Chinese or Japanese?

32:55🔗 Adam Japanese.

32:56🔗 Drew The word for bear trap and taco are the same word.

32:58🔗 Adam Same word.

33:00🔗 Justin Whalin The blood is a great endorsement of the futon.

33:02🔗 Adam Yeah. Get your ass off that futon, would you? Sleep on the train tracks.

33:09🔗 Drew Here are the kinds of things that can contribute to those sorts of things. So, heavy lifting, supplements, like, you know, Anderson Dion and that kind of stuff. Biking, bicycling, spinning, and excessive, like masturbating, that kind of thing can...

33:22🔗 Caller Well, it go away on its own. I mean, I'm 23, I don't know.

33:24🔗 Adam How much masturbating are you doing?

33:26🔗 Caller Huh? Six times a day sometimes.

33:30🔗 Drew There you go. You got to tell, you got, you...

33:33🔗 Adam What's going on?

33:33🔗 Drew You have got to tell your urologist you're doing this. You've got to.

33:36🔗 Caller Well, I haven't masturbated more than like two or three times since I've had this problem.

33:40🔗 Drew I understand, but it's important that they understand the context in which this has happened. Or else you're going to get much more tests when a single piece of information might help them come to a conclusion.

33:49🔗 Adam He may have been making a run at my crown.

33:51🔗 Caller Yeah, he was in training.

33:52🔗 Justin Whalin He was a...

33:54🔗 Adam Yeah, let me tell you, every once in a while some upstart kid pops his head up out of the weeds, tries to make a little run at the title.

34:00🔗 Drew You better get him.

34:01🔗 Adam He blows a prostate out.

34:03🔗 Caller He blows a prostate out.

34:04🔗 Justin Whalin He's never the same.

34:05🔗 Adam Yeah. I've seen rookies come, I've seen them go, and the 20 years have been on top of the masturbatory game.

34:09🔗 Drew He called that one round when he started sprouting blood.

34:12🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah, they can't hang. Go. Come on. Try me.

34:16🔗 Justin Whalin Go on for the gold. That's right.

34:18🔗 Adam That's right. I'm going to retire unbeaten. I'm going to be like Rocky Marciano with masturbation. Samantha?

34:26🔗 Caller Yes.

34:26🔗 Adam You're 27.

34:28🔗 Caller Yes, that's correct.

34:28🔗 Adam What's up?

34:30🔗 Caller Well, with my husband, when we have, you know, sex relations with our, you know, in the marriage that we have, sometimes sex, I turn off from it. I mean, it's like, he wants to have it and it's like, oh, God, go away.

34:45🔗 Drew How often does he want it? And how often do you turn off to it?

34:49🔗 Adam Well, sometimes a week and every time.

34:51🔗 Drew Yeah.

34:51🔗 Caller Yeah. You know, all the time. And it's like, I always say no or.

34:56🔗 Drew So he wants it all the time and you never want it.

34:57🔗 Justin Whalin Did you want it with other people that you've been with?

35:00🔗 Caller No, of course not.

35:01🔗 Drew Did this change suddenly with him?

35:02🔗 Adam What do you mean, of course not? No, he means, Justin means in the past.

35:06🔗 Justin Whalin In the past, other boyfriends you've had.

35:09🔗 Caller I've always had, well, I've had this problem for several years. But basically in the past three years.

35:16🔗 Adam Hey, Samantha.

35:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:18🔗 Adam Would you please answer the goddamn question?

35:21🔗 Caller What was the question?

35:22🔗 Adam Well, shut up and listen. This drives me insane. Justin wanted to know that if in the past with other relationships this happened.

35:30🔗 Caller Yes, it has.

35:31🔗 Adam In every one of them.

35:32🔗 Caller Yes, it has.

35:33🔗 Drew Okay, so.

35:34🔗 Justin Whalin It has nothing to do with your husband, this.

35:36🔗 Caller Right.

35:37🔗 Adam So what happened to you?

35:38🔗 Caller Well, I was gang raped.

35:41🔗 Adam No, I'm looking for something like that.

35:43🔗 Caller Something that might be traumatic.

35:44🔗 Drew Something life changing, yeah.

35:46🔗 Adam Something like you turned a term paper in, thought you were heading for B and you got like a C-minus.

35:51🔗 Caller No, I had a miscarriage three years ago.

35:52🔗 Adam No, not looking for that here.

35:54🔗 Drew The miscarriage may have had a lot of meaning to you and certainly could trigger a depression and could bring up a lot of these codes of feelings that could make your problems worse.

36:01🔗 Justin Whalin Maybe if you combine the gang rape and the miscarriage.

36:05🔗 Drew How old were you when you were gang raped?

36:07🔗 Caller I was 16.

36:08🔗 Drew Yeah. What happened to you before that?

36:10🔗 Caller I was sexually molested by my stepfather.

36:12🔗 Drew There you go. And so that's that all.

36:14🔗 Adam How did you know that something happened to her before the gang rape?

36:18🔗 Drew Just phishing. Yeah. Shocking.

36:21🔗 Adam Hey, Samantha.

36:22🔗 Drew I've never heard that correlation before ever.

36:23🔗 Adam What happened with the gang rape?

36:26🔗 Caller They used utensils and stuff on me.

36:28🔗 Justin Whalin Oh, my God.

36:29🔗 Adam And who were these guys?

36:30🔗 Caller They were five black guys.

36:32🔗 Justin Whalin Did they go to jail?

36:33🔗 Adam No, duh. But did you know these guys?

36:35🔗 Caller They don't know who they are. I mean, I couldn't identify them.

36:38🔗 Adam Hold on. I was able to get that joke in with Mexicans and blacks. It's always funny.

36:44🔗 Drew All right.

36:46🔗 Adam You never. Hold on. Now, wait a minute. Where the hell am I? Why is she there? They never found the guys. And what was the situation?

36:52🔗 Caller No, they never found the guy.

36:54🔗 Adam What was the situation?

36:56🔗 Caller I was leaving work one night and they were in the parking garage. And I, you know.

37:03🔗 Drew So it was an abduction.

37:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:05🔗 Caller But I went.

37:06🔗 Caller I got to my car and I was getting out some tapes from my trunk.

37:10🔗 Drew How do they know who to get, who to nail with these? Because Samantha had been sexually abused by the stepfather. So she makes her a great victim. And victimizers just see this. They see it in people. They know who they can do this to.

37:21🔗 Justin Whalin Have you talked to anybody about this? Does your husband know all these things?

37:25🔗 Caller Yes, he knows about, you know, the gang rights.

37:28🔗 Well, but Drew, hold on.

37:29🔗 Adam When you say they, you mean the blacks or the Mexicans?

37:31🔗 Drew I mean the abusers, the victimizers.

37:33🔗 Adam You're saying the blacks are abusers?

37:35🔗 Drew Of all creeds and races, they all know it.

37:37🔗 Adam Oh, I see what you're saying.

37:39🔗 Drew And listen, Samantha, you need a lot of work here. And you've been in treatment before? Psychological help?

37:44🔗 Caller Well, I started, but then I started talking about the gang rape.

37:48🔗 Adam Yeah, and hold on.

37:49🔗 Caller It's very hard for me to talk.

37:52🔗 Adam Well, here's the unfortunate catch-22 of your treatment. That's the only thing you need to work out. So the fact that you get uncomfortable when that comes up is sort of, as I said before, catch-22.

38:04🔗 Drew It's the reason you need the treatment.

38:06🔗 Adam You need the treatment.

38:07🔗 Justin Whalin Have you ever confronted your stepfather?

38:09🔗 Caller Yes, I have.

38:10🔗 Adam How'd that go?

38:12🔗 Caller Well, not well.

38:13🔗 Drew That's always ungratifying.

38:14🔗 Adam It really is. I remember when I confronted Drew's stepfather about molesting him. It sucked. We ended up having a few beers and hugging, though.

38:22🔗 Caller Well, see, whenever I told my mother that it was going on, she didn't believe it, neither.

38:27🔗 Drew And that's where a lot of the unpleasant feeling comes from, is hating mom for not protecting you from this.

38:32🔗 Adam Oh, my God. Do you have kids, Samantha?

38:34🔗 Caller No, I can't have children.

38:36🔗 Adam Good.

38:37🔗 Drew I mean, that's we're sorry, but not necessarily a bad thing with what you're the burden you've got already.

38:43🔗 Adam So listen, Samantha, I'm going to I'm going to ramp this up in 10 seconds.

38:47🔗 Drew Shut up.

38:48🔗 Adam Shut up. Shut up. Be gone. Silence.

38:52🔗 Caller Silence.

38:53🔗 Adam Samantha, for someone who's been through what you've been through, you sound like you've got your head on your shoulders, but you've been through a lot. And you're going to have to look into that. You're 27. You've been to hell and back. You're three years from 30. You're still young. You can work on this. You can get a little therapy and read a few books, take a few walks, listen to a little classical music, work all this crap out, and you'll be fine. You will be. But you've got to approach it. You have to deal with it.

39:23🔗 Justin Whalin You've got to confront it.

39:23🔗 Drew Since the 101 was so tough, you might look into a women's support group because that sometimes works very well for these kinds of issues, okay?

39:31🔗 Adam Okay.

39:31🔗 Drew All right. All right.

39:33🔗 Caller Enjoy.

39:34🔗 Justin Whalin That was a tough one, man.

39:35🔗 Drew I'm not getting the dizziness. Really?

39:38🔗 Adam Maybe a little vertigo or something?

39:40🔗 Caller You all right?

39:40🔗 Drew I'm gonna start vomiting. I'll take, I'm not happy.

39:44🔗 Adam If the room is spinning and you're gonna vomit, stop the room from spinning before you vomit. I don't want it to spray all over the place. Or is it just spinning in your head?

39:52🔗 Drew It's spinning in my head, but I'll lurch forward as I try to get up as I'm vomiting it'll spray around.

39:58🔗 Adam Vomit on yourself. That's gonna be funny. Would you?

40:02🔗 Justin Whalin Even on radio that's funny.

40:03🔗 Adam It is. I would describe it very well. Justin Whalin is our guest tonight from Dungeons and Dragons. Coming out this Friday. When we come back, we'll speak to Simon. What's enough smoking marijuana can cause reduced sperm count and a smaller penis? All answers to that and many other questions after this.

40:30🔗 Caller We'll be right back.

40:31🔗 Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

41:07🔗 Caller It's the Loveline.

41:08🔗 Adam I'm Adam Corolla, and that is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Justin Whalin is our guest tonight. He is from the new movie Dungeons and Dragons, which is coming out this Friday. Lots of celebrities, so I don't particularly like in it. Not as performers. I think they're all wonderful performers. So I don't think they're as human beings. I don't think their attitude is going to hurt the movie. One bit, big fat budget. And I guess Dungeons and Dragons has been around, I'd say for about 25, I was going to say 25, 30 years.

41:42🔗 Drew Do they know who invented it?

41:43🔗 Justin Whalin Dave Arneson and Gary Gygax were the creators of the game.

41:46🔗 Adam I believe that Bob Geekman and Tom Nerdenstein also may have had a hand.

41:52🔗 Justin Whalin Also had some.

41:53🔗 Adam They were involved. They contributed.

41:54🔗 Caller They were involved.

41:57🔗 Adam That's right. And I don't know, I guess now they do it on the computer, right? But back in the day...

42:04🔗 Justin Whalin They still don't. The actual Dungeons & Dragons game, I think, is still played around the table with a group of people. But there's a bunch of derivative games that are played on the internet, on the computer.

42:13🔗 Adam I was a big Stratego fan back when I was in the fifth grade. Drew, do you remember Stratego?

42:19🔗 Drew Stratego.

42:20🔗 Caller Stratego.

42:22🔗 Justin Whalin I love Stratego.

42:23🔗 Drew How many points was a major?

42:25🔗 Justin Whalin A major was three points.

42:27🔗 Adam I don't know.

42:27🔗 Drew Wasn't that 20? I thought it was like one of the big ones.

42:29🔗 Justin Whalin Stratego. Stratego is only one through nine with a spy and bombs.

42:33🔗 Adam Wow. Oh, wow.

42:35🔗 Justin Whalin Don't mess with me, baby. I was a Stratego champion.

42:37🔗 Adam You know, let me tell you about ADD and being illiterate growing up. I could not sit down and play Stratego. I used to play Dart Stratego. Here's how you play Dart Gun Stratego. You set up your Stratego stuff across the room. The other guy sets up his Stratego set across the room and then you fire. You lob these from a Dart Gun, your shots and see if you can knock over his, what is it? His president or his...

43:07🔗 Drew You're sort of like dealing with the humans before like the advent of alphabet and language.

43:11🔗 Adam What was that one?

43:12🔗 Drew You know, how humans dealt with each other and communicated before their written word.

43:16🔗 Adam What did you say?

43:17🔗 Drew Don't worry about it. You'll understand someday.

43:18🔗 Adam What was the alphabet?

43:19🔗 Drew Well, maybe you won't.

43:19🔗 Adam Alpha?

43:20🔗 Drew No, no, no.

43:20🔗 Adam You're talking about that cereal?

43:22🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. Alphabets. Oh, yeah.

43:24🔗 Adam I like them alphabets. Good time. What are those places where they keep the books?

43:29🔗 Caller Bookstore.

43:30🔗 Adam The bookstore? I don't know, where they rent them out or lend them out with the... What's that one called, Drew?

43:35🔗 Drew Library.

43:38🔗 Adam Yeah.

43:38🔗 Drew Library.

43:39🔗 Adam Yeah, I heard it. Yeah. Simon?

43:41🔗 Yeah, what's up, man?

43:43🔗 Adam You're 16. What's going on?

43:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:44🔗 Caller Hey, can we give a shout out to a friend of mine?

43:46🔗 Drew Simon.

43:47🔗 Caller Stratego.

43:50🔗 Drew Simon, did you... I mean, he's so high.

43:53🔗 Adam How much weed are you smoking, Simon?

43:55🔗 Caller I don't know.

43:57🔗 Drew Oh, please.

43:58🔗 Caller I don't know either.

44:00🔗 You're...

44:01🔗 Drew A couple of neurons are barely firing. What's your question, Simon?

44:06🔗 Caller I just want to...

44:07🔗 Caller First of all, I just wanted to give a shout out to...

44:09🔗 Drew No.

44:09🔗 Adam Yeah, I know what Terry's shout out is. Anderson dumped him. I like Anderson.

44:16🔗 Drew Quick on the drum.

44:17🔗 Adam Yeah. He doesn't like people either. Well, that's not fair. He loves himself. Is Simon back or are we still going to talk to him? Simon?

44:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:28🔗 Adam No shout outs, Stoner.

44:29🔗 Caller What do you want? I wanted to know, like, if I'm smoking too much marijuana, can it like reduce your penis size and like...

44:36🔗 Drew Well, it can lower your sperm count, lower your testosterone levels. It can elevate estrogen levels and cause breast growth. So you can get a little breast development. And it theoretically could possibly affect penis size. But most of you, you already got chronic bronchitis. As I can hear in your voice, it's worse than I do. And God knows, at your age, it has been shown to cause shrinkage of the right frontal lobe of the brain, which is the part you use to negotiate development. Right. So it's a pretty serious issue at your age.

45:06🔗 Adam Like when a guy's a little light on a quarter ounce, and you say, it ain't worth 50 bucks, that's the part of your brain you would use to negotiate that. Right. There you go.

45:16🔗 Drew That's right.

45:16🔗 Adam You say, this looks more like an eighth than it does a quarter, brada. You see what I mean?

45:21🔗 Justin Whalin Too much marijuana, the Jedi mantra gets on you.

45:23🔗 Adam This is all stems and seeds, brother. I'm going to jump it out on my thin Lizzie record album. I'm going to take it through it, I'll get back to you. Hey, Simon.

45:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

45:34🔗 Adam I don't want to bum your hive. I don't have anything against marijuana, but-

45:37🔗 Caller Nor do I.

45:38🔗 Adam Nor does Drew.

45:39🔗 Drew I thought-

45:39🔗 Caller Shut up.

45:40🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. What is up with you, Drew?

45:42🔗 Drew I had a good night's sleep.

45:44🔗 Adam Well, please, go run in place for a while and burn some of those calories. I like you when you're docile and I can-

45:49🔗 Drew You complain about that, too, though.

45:51🔗 Adam I don't like any- Maybe we've stumbled on to truth here. Simon. Yeah. Drew, you want to interject? They're going to just finish with the guy.

46:01🔗 Drew Just finish, then I'll say what I have to say.

46:02🔗 Adam All right. How often do you say the person's name and then start to say something like, All right. All right.

46:09🔗 Justin Whalin All things are good in moderation, Simon.

46:11🔗 Drew You don't notice it because I don't object. I stop.

46:14🔗 Caller All right.

46:15🔗 Caller All right.

46:16🔗 Caller Simon. Yeah.

46:17🔗 Adam It does kind of turn you into a retard eventually. And you're halfway there. You're three-quarters of the way there. You understand? You're there. Like if the Yellow Brick Road led to a retardville, you would you'd be at the point where you'd actually, you know, entered the Poppy Seed for the Poppy Forge.

46:38🔗 Drew He's got the lion, tin man, scarecrow with them.

46:41🔗 Adam They're all on board and you can see the castle. All right, buddy. Enjoy. Enjoy that life of yours. But I'm telling you, slow down on the weed or your life's going to be hell. It really is. And I don't want to pay for it.

46:53🔗 Drew I will address this to you, Adam. Here's the deal about saying things like, I have nothing against weed. I have nothing against weed. I have nothing against ecstasy. I have nothing against threesomes. I wish we lived in a world where humans could engage in fivesomes and threesomes and could go ahead and do all the exes they want and have that experience. Drew, you freak. That'd be wonderful. The fact is that when you do that, it is bad news for people. It messes them up in ways and I get to see them down the road miserable on their knees. I mean, it is awful what happens to people as a result of these misbehaviors. So it is unfortunate. I wish we lived in the world where those things work. We don't, so you better prepare for that.

47:28🔗 Adam Mike?

47:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

47:30🔗 Adam You're 20.

47:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

47:31🔗 Adam What's up?

47:32🔗 All right, my question is, my buddy and I were having an argument over whether a girl can get pregnant in a hot tub.

47:39🔗 Drew Absolutely.

47:39🔗 Caller Absolutely?

47:41🔗 Drew Categorically.

47:42🔗 Well, isn't it like they're a last chance because it warms up the bones down there?

47:46🔗 Drew No.

47:47🔗 Adam Yeah. Mike, let me guess which side of the argument you're talking about.

47:51🔗 Drew First of all, all the sperm is already in your seminal vesicles. It's not in your testes.

47:54🔗 Okay.

47:55🔗 Drew So while it may change the production of sperm for a few hours, you're already packed and cocked and loaded, so it doesn't matter.

48:04🔗 Wow.

48:04🔗 Adam Yeah.

48:05🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah.

48:06🔗 All right, man.

48:07🔗 Adam Yeah. You better get your cousin an abortion. What?

48:11🔗 My cousin.

48:13🔗 Adam Why are you worried? You had sex on a hot tub?

48:15🔗 Well, no, we're just having an argument. My buddy, two of my buddies were in a threesome this weekend in a hot tub. And another buddy of mine and myself were watching and from like inside the house. And afterwards, like after everything was over, we went out and we were thinking about getting in a hot tub and there was all these little floaties in there.

48:33🔗 Adam Sure.

48:33🔗 And that's how the conversation came.

48:36🔗 Adam Yeah, that's how the Titanic's sound. And let me tell you something about sperm. It's alive in a hot tub forever till that thing cools down.

48:44🔗 Drew Yeah, not alive but seeming living.

48:46🔗 Adam Good enough.

48:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:48🔗 Adam And if you got a little hair on your legs, it's trouble. Oh, God. You guys, you guys.

48:54🔗 Caller Oh, Lord.

48:56🔗 Caller It's a visual just no one needed.

48:58🔗 Adam When I was, I had to stay in the same hotel room in Seattle when I went over there with Jimmy.

49:05🔗 Drew Oh, no. Oh, yeah.

49:06🔗 Adam Morning show for the Final Four, because K-Rock is the world's cheapest radio station. We had to stay like an hour out of Seattle in the dump where cars would pull up. There's literally a 7-Eleven that was on slightly higher ground that was just across from us, and cars would pull in with headlights and like shine in your window. It was a motor lodge. And so help me, God, you know K-Rock, you know Trip Reeb, you know their department, you know the whole thing, you know Tower Air, you know what they're about. Right?

49:35🔗 Justin Whalin Tower, right?

49:36🔗 Adam Keeping people down over there? Keeping it real.

49:38🔗 Caller Oh, just keep it real, Adam.

49:40🔗 Adam Yeah, doing the morning show. There's nothing better than doing a morning show where you spend an hour on the goddamn road trying to get into town before you go on the air at 5.15 in the morning.

49:50🔗 Caller We gotta go to break.

49:50🔗 Adam No, the point is is Jimmy jacked off in the tub, and the tub wouldn't drain, and I was standing in it, and I didn't know it, but he tapped on the door.

50:00🔗 Justin Whalin You were standing in the tub when Jimmy was jacking off.

50:03🔗 Adam I took a shower 5 minutes after he did at 3 in the morning, and he was like, Jacked off in there. I was like, Great, I'm in 16 inches of water. 12 of it is semen. We'll take a little break. We'll be back after this.

50:21🔗 Loveline, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

51:03🔗 Adam Who's this? They were in here not too long ago. Justin Whalin is our guest tonight. He is in Dungeons & Dragons, which is coming out this Friday. It's a huge release. It's going to be everywhere. And it's either this or that Sandra Bullock movie.

51:25🔗 Justin Whalin Ms. Conspicuous or something.

51:27🔗 Adam Yeah, Ms. Congeniality. Hey, you know, I've always said that Mel Brooks, his next movie, should be called Who Stole My Brain. Yeah, because I can't figure out what happened to that guy. Right. I think Sandra Bullock's next movie should be called Who Drugged My Manager. What the hell is going on with that chick? She was riding the crest of life. She seems like a nice person. Well, everyone knows who she is, but this movie looks like it's going to be first off, it looks like the last three or four movies she's done. And secondly, it looks like it's going to do as well or as bad as the last three or four she's done, or I should say four or five now, ever since Speed 2 on the boat.

52:13🔗 Justin Whalin It was a tough one.

52:16🔗 Adam It's been a tough shake for her. Forces of Nature. That wasn't bad, though, right? But that's like one in the last seven films, right? Am I right, Anderson?

52:26🔗 Drew She's good, though. She will rise from the ashes.

52:29🔗 Justin Whalin She's the girl next door. She's America's girl next door. She's great.

52:32🔗 Adam She's dynamite later. There's no doubt about that. You have anything else? Anderson is a film student, although he's never seen. What movie didn't he see that I was surprised about?

52:43🔗 Caller No.

52:43🔗 Adam Happy On?

52:45🔗 Caller Greenwich Village or something.

52:46🔗 Adam Hope with Greenwich Village?

52:48🔗 Caller What the hell?

52:49🔗 Caller All right.

52:50🔗 Adam So, you're still a fan of hers, right?

52:52🔗 Caller Yeah, I like her.

52:53🔗 Drew I just don't know if she can actually carry a movie by herself.

52:55🔗 Caller Right.

52:56🔗 Adam Well, she's picking strange movies. But anyway, that's Justin's only competition this week. So, it looks like he's going to clean up at the box office. Anthony?

53:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:05🔗 Adam You're 22.

53:07🔗 Caller Yeah, I got two questions for you. The first question is, I just recently quit smoking pot, and I noticed that my urine's been smelling pretty bad, and I was wondering if that was a cause and fact for that.

53:18🔗 Drew No.

53:19🔗 Caller No.

53:19🔗 Justin Whalin No.

53:21🔗 Adam But you're probably eating more asparagus and less pig's ears that have been deep fried.

53:28🔗 Drew And the bad smelling urine is an infection to prove it otherwise, so.

53:32🔗 Caller Oh really?

53:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:33🔗 Caller Okay, great.

53:35🔗 Caller And the second question, and this doesn't happen very often, but sometimes when I'm urinating, and I'll be done urinating, and I feel like I have to go a little bit more, so I'll push or whatever, and I ejaculate sometimes.

53:48🔗 Adam Nice.

53:49🔗 Drew You mean you have spasmodic ejaculation?

53:51🔗 Caller Yeah, it doesn't feel good or anything, it's just sperm comes out.

53:55🔗 Drew Well, how do you know that's sperm?

53:57🔗 Caller Because it looks like sperm.

53:58🔗 Adam I see.

53:59🔗 Drew This could just all be discharged.

54:00🔗 Adam Hey, Dijonase looks like sperm too.

54:03🔗 Caller Right.

54:04🔗 Drew This is just probably discharge. You got to get this checked out.

54:09🔗 Caller It doesn't, uh, I mean, it's probably a...

54:12🔗 Caller Hey, Anthony, go to the doctor.

54:15🔗 Drew Are you out of your mind? It smells bad, you have a pussy discharge.

54:18🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah, come on, man, it's not gonna clear up overnight.

54:22🔗 Caller You need to go to the doctor.

54:24🔗 Caller Yeah, you need to go to the doctor. And get checked out.

54:26🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah.

54:27🔗 Adam Hey, Anthony, could you get your dork checked out, please? What do you want? You want Drew to wave his magic wand? Yeah, let's do Drew's Fantasy Answer. We haven't done this in a while.

54:38🔗 Drew Yes.

54:38🔗 Caller I'll be the retarded caller.

54:40🔗 Adam Drew, you'll be the boring you.

54:42🔗 Drew But in fantasy world.

54:43🔗 Adam In fantasy world. This is a Drew's Fantasy Answer. We need a cart, some sort of drop, you know. Drew's Fantasy Answer. We've done this a while, but okay. A recent question, smoking pot.

54:55🔗 Drew Well, that was your first mistake. You should be smoking much, much more marijuana.

54:59🔗 Adam Okay.

54:59🔗 Drew But my that's the natural herb is the essence of life.

55:01🔗 Adam I see.

55:02🔗 Drew It's good for you. Expands your brain. Increase the penis size.

55:05🔗 Adam Freeze you up.

55:06🔗 Drew Yeah, freeze you.

55:07🔗 Adam Okay.

55:07🔗 Drew And the man.

55:08🔗 Adam And so when I pee, it smells real bad.

55:11🔗 Caller Good.

55:12🔗 Adam No problem.

55:12🔗 Drew And then it probably comes from rubbing feces around the urethra. You should keep that up. That's good.

55:17🔗 Adam And sometimes the semen, it just comes flying out when I don't want to.

55:21🔗 Drew What good fortune.

55:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, it doesn't feel good.

55:25🔗 Drew Oh, that's unfortunate.

55:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

55:27🔗 Drew We'll have to find a way to make it feel good.

55:28🔗 Adam I'm not sure if it's sperm, though, because it's just white, you know, when it kind of comes out. Well, who cares?

55:33🔗 Drew What difference does it make?

55:34🔗 Adam Is it going to be OK?

55:35🔗 Caller Oh, of course.

55:38🔗 Adam So I don't have to see a pecker doctor or nothing?

55:42🔗 Caller Who told you to do that?

55:43🔗 Adam I don't know. I just how dare they? Well, it hurts when I urinate.

55:46🔗 Drew It's a racket.

55:47🔗 Adam It's OK.

55:48🔗 Drew It hurts.

55:49🔗 Adam Is it all right?

55:51🔗 Drew Yes, of course.

55:51🔗 Adam OK, there you go. Drew's fancy answer. That's what they'd like. And then when he tells me to go to a urologist, like, how dare you?

55:59🔗 Drew You read it through. They're like, no, let me explain why I don't need to go. You don't understand. It's seeming.

56:05🔗 Adam Yeah, the first thing he said is, my pee smells, and Drew said, that's a sign of infection. And then the next thing he said is, some white pus comes out when I'm done peeing. That's plenty.

56:14🔗 Drew That's enough, yeah.

56:16🔗 Adam What do you want? An ashtray to come out of there? Is that enough?

56:20🔗 Drew The bong. The bong has to come through his urethra.

56:25🔗 Adam Tisha, you're 24.

56:27🔗 Caller Hi.

56:29🔗 I just wanted to talk to Justin, actually.

56:32🔗 Adam Uh-oh.

56:33🔗 Caller Uh-oh, wow.

56:36🔗 I had a question.

56:37🔗 Caller It's kind of what you've been up to since the Lois & Clark thing. I've been a retarded fan.

56:42🔗 Caller Oh my gosh, I remember Child in Charge.

56:43🔗 Caller Oh wow.

56:45🔗 Caller It was Perfect Harmony that got me hooked.

56:47🔗 Justin Whalin Oh, thanks. That was a long time ago, too. That was 11 years ago.

56:51🔗 Adam What's Perfect Harmony? Is it another sitcom?

56:53🔗 Justin Whalin No, Perfect Harmony was a movie I did for Disney with Clibon Little, Richie Clibon Little, Peter Scolari. It was, I was 15 when I did that. That was 11 years ago. But the last three years, I've actually been working on Dungeons & Dragons. I'm also...

57:07🔗 Drew Three years?

57:08🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah, I've had an associate producer credit on it also. It's been a long thing for me and I've put a lot of time and effort into it and I hope everybody likes it.

57:18🔗 Drew Have you apologized to him for disparaging this film?

57:20🔗 Caller Yeah, man.

57:22🔗 Adam Hey, I said it's going to do better in the Sandra Bullock film.

57:25🔗 Justin Whalin That much you got right. No, but I've spent the last three years working on this. I kind of got to learn how to go through the financial process of how you get a film financed and how you do the whole post, visual effects, and all that kind of stuff. So it was kind of like my college course in filmmaking. And I hope you like it. We worked really hard on it.

57:44🔗 Adam How did it work? Did somebody come to you with the script at some point, years ago?

57:49🔗 Justin Whalin Well, in December of 1997 I got the script and they asked me if I got it, I read it, I went, I think Dun and Dragon should have been made, a movie should have been made out of this a long time ago. And I went and auditioned. I got the part, but at the time the film wasn't financed fully. And so Courtney Solomon, the director, called me up and he said, look, I want you to do the movie, but the movie's not financed, but it's gonna be financed soon. And if you take another job, you're not gonna be available and you're not gonna be able to do it. So we kind of made a deal that I would do the movie. I wouldn't take any other work. And whatever deal he made to get the film financed, I would be part of that deal. Yeah. And during that year and a half, we spent time going through the script and going through the storyboards, going through all the stuff, which was helpful for me because with the movie, there's so many visual effects, it's really good to have a good understanding of what the eventual product is gonna look like.

58:40🔗 Adam Right.

58:40🔗 Drew When are we gonna have Loveline in the movie?

58:42🔗 Adam Soon.

58:42🔗 Drew With all the visual effects?

58:43🔗 Adam Any day now. Yeah, I mean, for us sitting here. Hey, Tisha, this is Justin. He's easy on the eyes, too, let me tell you.

58:51🔗 Cool. OK. Oh, my gosh, I'm so upset. I'm like gonna call my friends, saying, remember in high school, I was like such a dork.

58:57🔗 I talked to him.

58:58🔗 Justin Whalin Tisha, please go see the movie. I think you'll really like it.

59:01🔗 Caller I will. I will.

59:01🔗 Justin Whalin Thank you.

59:03🔗 Adam It doesn't mean you're still not a dork, though, you know.

59:06🔗 Justin Whalin Don't listen to him, Tisha.

59:07🔗 Adam Well, all right, Tisha, take care of yourself. Thank you. There you go. See, that's the kind of call we like once every four years on the show. At least for our guests. Normal. Yeah. No big problems. Gordon?

59:20🔗 Drew Gordon? Caller who goes by Gordon. I hear the radio. I hear the guy's radio.

59:28🔗 Adam He's probably...

59:29🔗 Drew Gordon?

59:30🔗 Adam Probably in the gym.

59:31🔗 Drew Curious.

59:31🔗 Caller Hi. Hi.

59:33🔗 Adam Hey, Gordon, you're 31. What's up?

59:35🔗 Caller Hi. Okay. Let's see here. Ever since I was old enough to really know is I've had a slight bend that bends my penis down in a downward angle.

59:48🔗 Drew Is it just toward the tip or is it mid shaft?

59:51🔗 Caller It's the entire shaft.

59:52🔗 Drew So that's normal.

59:53🔗 Adam So I think there's a whole bow to it.

59:56🔗 Drew So what's the problem?

59:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:58🔗 Adam I'm curious. That's goofy. That's a little weird.

1:00:00🔗 Drew It's normal.

1:00:01🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm very freakish.

1:00:02🔗 Drew Certain kinds of bends. Certain amount of bends.

1:00:04🔗 Justin Whalin Like a gonzo nose or something?

1:00:06🔗 Drew Certain amount of bend is normal though.

1:00:08🔗 Caller Okay. What I'm curious about is...

1:00:11🔗 Adam Where would your urethra face? Let me just try to figure this out, Gordon. I'm trying to figure the bend out. I'm going to call your urethra the sort of periscope or looking glass. Let's pretend we're looking through a camera down your urethra, right?

1:00:28🔗 Drew The camera at the tip.

1:00:29🔗 Adam Would we be able to see your feet? If you had an erection?

1:00:32🔗 Drew Then repose.

1:00:36🔗 Caller I'd say it's about a three-degree bend.

1:00:38🔗 Adam So what is...

1:00:40🔗 Drew Look at the horizon still.

1:00:42🔗 Adam Is the horizon 90? Let's use the penis clock.

1:00:48🔗 Drew Okay.

1:00:48🔗 Adam Let's say... Well, hold on a second. Let's say you took a clock, you turned it sideways and you shoved it into your abdomen. 12 would be against your belly. 9 o'clock is straight out and 6 is down between your legs. I like to dance around that way sometimes. So, what time is your penis?

1:01:07🔗 Caller I'd say about 10 a.m. It's a slight downward angle.

1:01:11🔗 Drew 10 a.m. is in your rear end.

1:01:12🔗 Adam 10 a.m. is up your ass.

1:01:14🔗 Caller Never mind.

1:01:15🔗 Adam That was the name of a local morning show. It was a trick question. I was out of Madison for a number of years. 10 a.m. is up your ass. It didn't catch y'all. Perky Blonde and me, we drink coffee and talk about things that went up your ass.

1:01:27🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:01:28🔗 Adam You know what I love about our listeners, by the way? I spend 10 minutes laying out what I think is gonna be a very strong visual effect on this show. And I get 10 a.m. Which is, no, listen, 12 is against your belly, right? Six o'clock is straight down and nine is straight out. What time?

1:01:48🔗 Caller 10 a.m. 10.15, 10.22.

1:01:52🔗 Adam Now hold on a second. First off, let me explain this. The a.m. and the p.m. not germane here. Are we dealing with a digital clock? There's how many tens on the clock?

1:02:04🔗 Caller It's 10 a.m. We never examine how retarded the 10 a.m. part is.

1:02:10🔗 Adam But secondly, 10, 10 according to the what?

1:02:14🔗 Caller AM Not p.m. Not at night.

1:02:19🔗 Adam This guy would have been a great, he would have been a great fighter pilot in World War II.

1:02:23🔗 Caller Charlie, yeah, you got yourself a chap over your shoulder. Nine a.m. No, p.m. P.m. P.m. No, nine. Oh, my God.

1:02:36🔗 Caller Right.

1:02:36🔗 Adam Now, maybe he thought I had a military clock that I put against him.

1:02:41🔗 Drew Then he should have said 10, 20 hundred hours.

1:02:44🔗 Adam Oh, 10 hundred hours or 20 hundred or whatever.

1:02:47🔗 Caller All right.

1:02:48🔗 Adam Let's, all right.

1:02:49🔗 Drew Let's, let's go back to that.

1:02:52🔗 Adam Yeah, 22 hundred. Now, Gordon.

1:02:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:54🔗 Adam All right. One more time. You ready?

1:02:55🔗 Caller Okay.

1:02:56🔗 Adam All right.

1:02:56🔗 Drew Now, wait, wait.

1:02:57🔗 Caller No, no. Just for fun.

1:02:59🔗 Drew But there are two times, though. There's, there's this, there's the shaft time and then there's the camera.

1:03:03🔗 Adam Shut up, shut up, shut up. Your shaft is the hand of a clock. Okay. I understand.

1:03:10🔗 Drew All right.

1:03:11🔗 Adam The big hand of the clock. Your belly is straight up midnight. That's 12 o'clock. When you're standing up.

1:03:20🔗 Drew How do you know it's not noon?

1:03:23🔗 Adam It's either noon or 12.

1:03:24🔗 Caller All right. And you said nine is straight out, right?

1:03:26🔗 Adam Nine is straight out and six is straight down.

1:03:30🔗 Caller Okay. It's eight o'clock.

1:03:32🔗 Adam Eight o'clock.

1:03:33🔗 Caller AM or PM?

1:03:34🔗 Caller One hour down.

1:03:36🔗 Adam And is that mountain time or?

1:03:38🔗 Caller No.

1:03:39🔗 Adam So it's just under straight out.

1:03:41🔗 Caller Right.

1:03:42🔗 Adam It's not too much.

1:03:43🔗 Caller It's a slight bend.

1:03:44🔗 Adam Down.

1:03:44🔗 Drew He said 30 degrees.

1:03:46🔗 Adam That ain't a lot.

1:03:46🔗 Caller It kind of bugs me.

1:03:48🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, that's fine.

1:03:49🔗 Drew Take some vitamin E, about 800 units of vitamin E sometimes will reduce that. And it's due to a scarring on one side of the penis that sort of pulls it in the direction of the scar.

1:03:58🔗 Caller Yeah, that's what it does.

1:03:59🔗 Drew And the only way that if you wanted that undone is they'd have to take like a little pie slice out of the opposite side of the penis to pull that side back up. And that shortens your penis, which you don't want to do, right?

1:04:10🔗 Adam How about just flipping your penis over?

1:04:12🔗 Caller It's about seven and a half inches. It's a decent size.

1:04:15🔗 Drew What's a decent penis?

1:04:16🔗 Caller That's right.

1:04:17🔗 Drew That's how you would be. Seven and a half. Leave it alone.

1:04:19🔗 Adam Let's not mess with it. AM or PM All right, Jordan, you're fine.

1:04:23🔗 Caller Okay.

1:04:23🔗 Adam Have you been with many women?

1:04:26🔗 Caller I'd say about 25 partners since I've been about 15.

1:04:29🔗 Adam Really? Yeah. Geez, you wouldn't know it by your voice. What do you do for a living? Something with computers?

1:04:35🔗 Caller Yeah, exactly. Self-employed.

1:04:37🔗 Adam With a computer?

1:04:39🔗 Caller I do data entry freelance. Shocking. Jobs for attorneys and stuff.

1:04:43🔗 Adam It doesn't show.

1:04:44🔗 Drew I have some pay homage to Adam for his genius.

1:04:47🔗 Adam Well, listen.

1:04:48🔗 Drew He's supposed to go, Oh my God, how did you know that?

1:04:49🔗 Adam I know the construction workers and I never call a computer. Do I ever call a computer?

1:04:53🔗 Drew Yeah, but it makes sense to me that you could call that one too because it's the other end of the spectrum.

1:04:57🔗 Adam Right.

1:04:58🔗 Drew You'd hear that one.

1:04:59🔗 Caller Right.

1:05:01🔗 Adam Rodney?

1:05:02🔗 Caller Huh?

1:05:03🔗 Adam Rodney, turn your radio down, please. You idiot.

1:05:07🔗 Caller Huh? Okay.

1:05:09🔗 Adam All right, shut up. Turn your goddamn radio down.

1:05:12🔗 Drew Rodney is not 31.

1:05:13🔗 Adam All right. Ann says there's something wrong with him. You're lucky there's something wrong with you, Rodney. It's the only reason I'm coming back to you.

1:05:21🔗 Drew Rodney?

1:05:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:22🔗 Drew All right, what's going on?

1:05:23🔗 Caller What y'all talking about, man?

1:05:25🔗 Caller Oh, no, no.

1:05:26🔗 Drew Yes.

1:05:26🔗 Caller Huh?

1:05:27🔗 Adam Ann, what did you do? Go to the same broadcasting school that Drew went to? Mr. and Mrs. Instinct over here.

1:05:33🔗 Caller Hey, look at here now.

1:05:37🔗 Adam Oh, hold on a second. I want to hear more Amos and Andy.

1:05:40🔗 Caller No, come on.

1:05:41🔗 Caller Look at here.

1:05:42🔗 Adam Yeah, go ahead, Rodney.

1:05:44🔗 Caller Now, you told me to show myself to my son.

1:05:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:48🔗 Drew You can't even keep it out of the way.

1:05:49🔗 Adam Hey, come on, Rodney. At least I'm giving you some air time. You can't pull it together. No, you did.

1:05:52🔗 Caller You told me to show myself to my son and I showed him to him this morning and my wife, she's going to call me.

1:06:01🔗 Drew See, Jimmy thought that guy with the goat was faking it. That's what the guy with the goat would have done. We pushed him so hard, remember?

1:06:09🔗 Adam Yes.

1:06:09🔗 Drew Eventually, he would have done what Rodney the Ridiculous one did in such, you know.

1:06:13🔗 Caller I didn't mean to get rude with the ma'am.

1:06:15🔗 Drew Yeah, there he is.

1:06:16🔗 Adam We had a...

1:06:17🔗 Drew There he is.

1:06:18🔗 Adam Drew, you're answering the cart, you realize that. We had a 275-pound guy call in who sound like one of the guys who... One of the guys would pop up in the cornfield and hee-haw and tell the jokes. He seemed like one of those guys, except for the punchline was he was banging a goat.

1:06:35🔗 Drew Let's hear him again. That's good radio.

1:06:39🔗 Caller I didn't mean to get rude with the ma'am.

1:06:42🔗 Drew That's all you got for him?

1:06:43🔗 Adam Yeah. The ma'am was Ann who doesn't care much for goat effers. That's her career. There's a lot of people, you know, there's people who take many stands in this world. For Ann, it's banging goats.

1:06:56🔗 Drew Yeah, she carries a placard about that often.

1:07:00🔗 Caller Whatever.

1:07:01🔗 Adam Well, she has a bumper sticker on her car.

1:07:02🔗 Drew Bumper sticker, yeah. She gets into it.

1:07:04🔗 Adam All right. Karen?

1:07:07🔗 Yeah.

1:07:07🔗 Adam You're 21.

1:07:08🔗 Caller Yeah. I have two questions. The first one is about my son's circumcision. He's eight weeks old and they had him circumcised the day after he was born.

1:07:19🔗 Drew Right.

1:07:20🔗 Caller And the foreskin is very, very red where it meets the base of the head and it comes up. And there are times when I change his diaper where it completely comes up and covers his penis.

1:07:34🔗 Drew The healing tissue.

1:07:35🔗 Caller Yeah. And there's a red bump on the bottom. It's not inside the foreskin. It's on the foreskin.

1:07:41🔗 Drew Did the dressing fall off prematurely?

1:07:45🔗 Caller No, they didn't dress it. They just put Vaseline on the front of the diaper.

1:07:49🔗 Drew Have you gone back to your pediatrician?

1:07:50🔗 Caller Take a look at it. I took him his two-week appointment. They said it was fine.

1:07:55🔗 Drew Okay.

1:07:55🔗 Caller I have a two-month appointment on the eight.

1:07:58🔗 Adam What kind of dressing do they put on the penis? Does it have a ranch, Thousand Islands, that's the Italian? What goes on there that does not come off?

1:08:06🔗 Drew It depends on what the parent likes.

1:08:07🔗 Adam Urinating. So if you're on a diet, you might just go by a public vinegar.

1:08:11🔗 Caller Can I get my circumcision with a little Thousand Islands?

1:08:14🔗 Justin Whalin Caesar.

1:08:15🔗 Adam Sign a ranch.

1:08:15🔗 Justin Whalin Thank you. Sign a ranch with my circumcision.

1:08:18🔗 Adam Karen?

1:08:19🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:08:19🔗 Adam That seems like he got a skin cut off. It's probably just healing.

1:08:24🔗 Drew Yeah, it sounds like it was just healing.

1:08:25🔗 Adam And there's probably not enough Johnson at that age to fill out the skin. It has that sort of that Sharpay sort of image. Okay. So I won't worry about it too much. Drew, is that about right?

1:08:37🔗 Drew It sounds about right.

1:08:38🔗 Adam You've seen a lot of young penis in your day. Yeah.

1:08:40🔗 Drew What's your other question?

1:08:42🔗 Caller Well, my I know I've only when I had my baby, I had second degree tears on top and bottom. And when I went to my postpartum, the doctor said it had healed incorrectly.

1:08:57🔗 Drew Did they have to redo it?

1:08:59🔗 Caller No. My stitches had come out, but they wouldn't redo it. Uh-uh.

1:09:04🔗 Caller Do you have any problems?

1:09:06🔗 Caller They said it had healed incorrectly, but they wouldn't fix it until the next time I had a baby.

1:09:11🔗 Caller Okay.

1:09:13🔗 Drew Is it that it sort of isn't lined up properly? Yeah. Yeah, that's all right. Usually that kind of heals by itself for the most part. I mean, it doesn't make a big deal.

1:09:21🔗 Adam She had a third question, which is her husband's dork got caught in the spokes of a bike. And she wants to know, is everyone's genitalia messed up in the family? Sounds like a mess over there.

1:09:35🔗 Drew But what's the problem with the mismatch there?

1:09:36🔗 Adam There's no skinny dipping with that family.

1:09:38🔗 Caller It's very painful to have sex. It feels like I'm ripping all over again.

1:09:42🔗 Drew How long ago was he put on? Or the tear?

1:09:46🔗 Caller Eight weeks ago. Which I would think, you know, maybe I wasn't healed all the way, but my friend had a baby in the same hospital in January. Her daughter is 11 months old and it still feels the same way when she has sex.

1:09:59🔗 Drew Still uncomfortable?

1:10:00🔗 Caller Yeah, it feels like she's carrying.

1:10:01🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Well, first off, what is her point? Because she said hers was two months ago and you said, well, maybe it hasn't healed yet. And she said, I would have thought that, but my friend had it 11 months ago and is still having discomfort from the same hospital. I know her making our argument.

1:10:19🔗 Caller Right.

1:10:19🔗 Drew What you thought she was going to say was, my friend had the repair at the same hospital and three weeks later they were back in action.

1:10:25🔗 Caller Right.

1:10:26🔗 Drew But now 11 months later.

1:10:28🔗 Adam So what is your logic on that one?

1:10:31🔗 Justin Whalin It's the doctor's fault.

1:10:32🔗 Drew That you're going to end up like your friend. Is that the concern?

1:10:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:10:35🔗 Caller I'm afraid it's just going to always cause me problems.

1:10:37🔗 Drew Well, you won't. But I do suggest you see your gynecologist and see, make sure there's not something that can be done to help you.

1:10:44🔗 Adam Does he usually tear above and below?

1:10:47🔗 Drew No, not above. But it's interesting. You know, somebody nailed me.

1:10:51🔗 Adam I tell you, if my kid tore up my wife's vagina, it'd sue him. How dare you?

1:10:57🔗 Drew That's mine!

1:10:58🔗 Adam I mean, I wait till he became of age. But listen, if it weren't for your big noggin, I'd still be getting some love. It ruined me. This is the reason we got divorced.

1:11:07🔗 Drew Somebody approached me at the CDC and people listened to us carefully, Adam, and brought up the fact that we had been talking about episiotomy. I was sort of trying to freak you out a little bit about how frequently the doctor cuts down the perineum.

1:11:17🔗 Caller Yeah!

1:11:18🔗 Drew And the tearing and stuff. I guess I said that everyone tears, and tearing is a very, very common first pregnancy, but not everyone does. And this one reminded me that you could do a perineal massage, where they stretch that whole area out real carefully.

1:11:32🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:11:32🔗 Drew And it tends to reduce the risk of tearing, need for episiotomy.

1:11:36🔗 Adam How often do you start that?

1:11:39🔗 Caller At 14.

1:11:42🔗 Adam Adam's like, yes, Jenny, come out of your room. I want you to meet Leroy.

1:11:46🔗 Caller Howdy.

1:11:48🔗 Caller It's time for your stretching.

1:11:51🔗 Adam Oh, still. Okay, a lot of black jokes in the night.

1:11:58🔗 Drew It's bad.

1:11:58🔗 Adam There was nothing wrong with, look.

1:12:00🔗 Drew I was also approached for the-

1:12:01🔗 Adam God forbid I should be stereotyped for having a big penis.

1:12:04🔗 Drew You got to make sure, if you're, you got to balance, you got to get some Jews and those. So you had some-

1:12:07🔗 Adam I get a lot of Jew humor and I get a lot of Asian humor. Well, we're going to have Mink on the show next week. So we'll get a lot, we'll get our Asian kicks in.

1:12:15🔗 Drew I don't see her on the schedule there.

1:12:16🔗 Adam We couldn't fit her boobs on the schedule.

1:12:21🔗 Drew You're cracking your own ass up tonight.

1:12:22🔗 Caller No one else really cares. I'm really hammered with myself.

1:12:25🔗 Caller It's going so well.

1:12:26🔗 Adam Well, okay. Well, okay. Well, hold on a second. Now, the episiotomy, this is where they make the cut.

1:12:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:12:34🔗 Adam Down on the lower end of the vaginas. So that does not tear straight through to the A hole.

1:12:40🔗 Drew Exactly. Across the A hole.

1:12:41🔗 Adam While right before the woman gives birth.

1:12:44🔗 Drew Just as that head's coming down.

1:12:46🔗 Adam I see. And here's the part that hurts my gums. It's when Drew says there's no anesthetic for this process.

1:12:53🔗 Drew You can. You can.

1:12:54🔗 Adam You know what? Listen, you say a lot of things and here's how. There's certain things I believe and certain things I don't believe and the ones I don't believe I know aren't true. You have to get some anesthetic.

1:13:03🔗 Drew I've done it both with and without. And the anesthetic, you've got to have a needle like this long. You've got to go all the way down that big long now stretched out area in order to numb everything up.

1:13:12🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah. It's just further evidence that women are tougher than men.

1:13:15🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:13:16🔗 Justin Whalin You know, there's no way.

1:13:18🔗 Drew Come on.

1:13:18🔗 Justin Whalin If we had to give birth, it just wouldn't happen. Are you kidding?

1:13:20🔗 Adam It wouldn't happen. Well, I'll tell you one thing. We wouldn't drag it out nine months. We'd have it worked out to about four or five weeks. I mean, from an evolutionary standpoint, sure, the first men would have taken nine months. But, you know, thousands of years later, we'd have this worked out. We'd have it consolidated.

1:13:36🔗 Drew It's the assembly line.

1:13:37🔗 Adam They're busy guys. We would have figured this out. Drew, you're telling me we're going to work this out?

1:13:42🔗 Drew I figure if you worked it out to that point, you would have figured out a way to take it out of your own body and just stick it somewhere else.

1:13:47🔗 Adam That's my next plan. Right. Into the dog. But, Drew, you get the rip above and the rip below. That's a little negligent on the doctor's part, isn't it?

1:13:59🔗 Drew It sounds a little... The rip above part is a little disturbing. What happens?

1:14:03🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Again, that hurts the gums. All right. And they sewed her up, but they screwed her up.

1:14:10🔗 Drew They sewed her up like that.

1:14:11🔗 Adam Well, they sewed the top part to the bottom. That was the plow they made. So they're a little tweaked a little. It's kind of like plate shifting or something, right?

1:14:19🔗 Drew To tonic plate.

1:14:20🔗 Adam So they need to lay off it for a while. It'll heal.

1:14:26🔗 Drew Somebody needs to lay off it. It'll heal. It probably will. She's a little freaked out about it. You can tell.

1:14:30🔗 Adam Well, listen, I would be too.

1:14:31🔗 Drew Nah, it's not a big deal.

1:14:33🔗 Justin Whalin It'll work fine. Come on. You cut me up in there. It's going to be a big deal. It's going to be a big deal.

1:14:39🔗 Drew And all that goes back to normal is that it's amazing.

1:14:41🔗 Adam Yeah, but imagine you're the dad, you're the husband, you're standing in there and you hear that double rip.

1:14:46🔗 Drew You don't hear the rip.

1:14:49🔗 Adam Like the main mast of a sailing ship coming down, you know? That's what I imagine it sounded like yards of canvas.

1:14:56🔗 Drew But the cutting makes it...

1:14:59🔗 Adam That's why if I have a kid, I'm going to be in that goddamn operating room with a plunger. And if I hear or see any ripping at all, the kid's head's going right back up in there. And I'm going to hold the plunger. I'll hold the plunger up in there until we can work things out. And then when it's good, I'll slide him out. Maybe I'll stick him to the plunger.

1:15:18🔗 Drew I'll come and bring him out of the hospital like a popsicle.

1:15:20🔗 Justin Whalin Don't they use suction on babies on the board?

1:15:23🔗 Drew They use plungers.

1:15:24🔗 Justin Whalin They use plungers. Yeah.

1:15:25🔗 Drew All right.

1:15:26🔗 Adam Drew, you were a plunger baby? Sure.

1:15:28🔗 Drew Can you tell? Look at the size of my head. The cone.

1:15:31🔗 Adam Justin Whalin is our guest from Dungeons and Dragons. We'll be back with more nonsense after this.

1:15:53🔗 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Bars.

1:16:00🔗 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. We've got Natalie Ritano coming up this week, and Mark McGrath next week, and a bunch of good people coming in here. Justin Whalin is our guest tonight. Drew's on his second bag of popcorn.

1:16:16🔗 Justin Whalin That's for you.

1:16:16🔗 Adam Oh, that's for me? Yeah, how come you're opening it?

1:16:20🔗 Justin Whalin I'd eaten most of it.

1:16:23🔗 Drew I'm the official court taster.

1:16:24🔗 Adam I see. Dungeons and Dragons is the name of the film. It'll be out this Friday. Go out and see it. This has been a little bit of a project, a baby for Justin. He's worked on this thing for years, and you should go out there and support it. Thank you. Naomi?

1:16:43🔗 Caller Hi.

1:16:43🔗 Adam You're 18.

1:16:44🔗 Justin Whalin Yes.

1:16:45🔗 Adam What's up?

1:16:46🔗 Caller Okay.

1:16:46🔗 Caller I really lied about my question because I just wanted to talk to Justin.

1:16:50🔗 Justin Whalin How are you doing?

1:16:51🔗 Caller You bitch!

1:16:53🔗 Adam So diabolical with the huge breast question.

1:16:56🔗 Caller I knew that you would get that one.

1:16:59🔗 Justin Whalin You're predictable, Adam.

1:17:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:17:01🔗 Caller Yup.

1:17:02🔗 Adam All right.

1:17:03🔗 Caller I just wanted to talk to him because he's so hot, and I've liked him ever since like 1995.

1:17:08🔗 Justin Whalin Aw, thank you, Naomi.

1:17:09🔗 Caller I was wondering what you're going to do after Dungeons and Dragons? That's a good question.

1:17:14🔗 Justin Whalin I did, like Adam was saying, I spent a lot of time on Dungeons and Dragons, and it was really the first project I've had in probably 15 years where I kind of feel like it sort of was really a piece of mine also. And I want to look for something that's going to have the same kind of feel for it. I want to do something else that I love and care about as much as I did for this movie.

1:17:34🔗 Caller Are you going to do anything like Serial Mom again?

1:17:36🔗 Justin Whalin I'd love to do another John Waters movie. Actually, I talked to John about doing Pecker when he was doing Pecker.

1:17:44🔗 Adam I never did see that.

1:17:45🔗 Justin Whalin No, I didn't see it either, but I loved working with John Waters. He was great. He's a funny guy.

1:17:49🔗 Adam Yeah. I hear you're thinking about doing Cry Baby 2. Maybe. No. I'll cry if he does Cry Baby 2. I'll break down and weep. What about Dungeons & Dragons 2? I mean, maybe it's a little early, but if it does...

1:18:05🔗 Justin Whalin It was meant as a trilogy. There's actually two other scripts for it, so if it does well, we'll do more.

1:18:11🔗 Adam Now, how do they do it? I mean, obviously, if this thing is a big hit, they gotta hurry with the next one. And there's certain films where they're already shooting the next one, or maybe it's in the can already by the time the first one comes out. But it seems a little presumptuous sometimes. You don't know if the thing could be a flop. Now you've got a million sunk into number two.

1:18:32🔗 Justin Whalin Exactly.

1:18:33🔗 Adam And that didn't seem like a good economic call. But so how do you know? Do you wait just for the first week, the first couple weeks?

1:18:40🔗 Justin Whalin If it's a pop culture thing, I think you need to have the movies come out right away. But with D&D, it's been around for 30 years. It hasn't gone anywhere for 30 years. So the reality is if people really like it, we'll do another one. But there'll be no hurry. We'll probably even spend more time working on the next one because we'll have more time, we'll have probably more money.

1:18:57🔗 Adam Does it affect your first one as far as people getting killed? Or do you just not worry about it and go, let's do the best we can do and we'll let the ships follow the main, we'll work around it?

1:19:07🔗 Justin Whalin No, the stories are written in the ideas and the stories are written in advance and there's actually in our ours was always meant as a trilogy so there's one big story that'll take place over the course of three films and each one of the films it's kind of its own chapter so right so no one we didn't we didn't do anything to make sure that we were set up for the next ones it was always kind of planned that way but the movie itself if if there's no other movies for Dungeons and Dragons it's it's a standalone film by itself to the story stands alone.

1:19:32🔗 Adam Naomi, you all right?

1:19:34🔗 Caller I was just listening.

1:19:36🔗 Adam All right baby.

1:19:37🔗 Caller All right bye Justin I think you're really hot.

1:19:39🔗 Justin Whalin Thank you.

1:19:40🔗 Caller All right bye.

1:19:41🔗 Adam Bye. That's some Justin fans. Paul?

1:19:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:46🔗 Adam You're 20?

1:19:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:47🔗 Adam What's up?

1:19:48🔗 Caller I got a question for Drew.

1:19:49🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:19:50🔗 Caller I want to know if you could get Epidermitis from excessive masturbation.

1:19:54🔗 Drew Sure really anything that causes irritation of the genital tract can cause Epidermitis. It's just inflammation that gets down further and further downstream in the Epidermis.

1:20:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:05🔗 Drew So if you're causing urethral irritation from excessive masturbation, that's a good way to get it.

1:20:09🔗 Adam Why does that irritate the urethra?

1:20:12🔗 Drew All that trauma.

1:20:14🔗 Adam Mine is like leather though. It's like cowhide now. I realize.

1:20:17🔗 Drew That's the outside of the penis, but you actually can sort of over...

1:20:20🔗 Adam No, the insides work too.

1:20:22🔗 Drew It's like a lead pipe.

1:20:23🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:24🔗 Drew It's calcified now.

1:20:26🔗 Adam Yeah. I clean it with a pipe cleaner every night before I go to bed.

1:20:30🔗 Drew That's not...

1:20:30🔗 Adam Yeah, it's tough. Hey, Paul, you have Epidinomitis? Yeah.

1:20:34🔗 Caller I just got it.

1:20:35🔗 Adam I don't know.

1:20:36🔗 Caller I had it this weekend.

1:20:37🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:37🔗 Caller I just went to the doctor yesterday.

1:20:39🔗 Drew It's a common problem. And it's... You know, there's lots of routes to that. You can get it from STDs. You can get it from excessive... Like you can get it from prostatitis, which comes from stress and lifting and delaying ejaculation. But, you know, it's just be a little more gentle with yourself.

1:20:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:57🔗 Caller What's the likelihood of getting it from an STD, though?

1:20:59🔗 Caller Because he gave me all the tests.

1:21:00🔗 Caller He gave me the urethral swab and stuff.

1:21:03🔗 Drew Well, usually... Did he put you on antibiotics?

1:21:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:05🔗 Drew Usually, the antibiotics they give you will cover STDs.

1:21:08🔗 Adam So...

1:21:08🔗 Drew Okay.

1:21:09🔗 Caller Yeah, he gave me a shot, too.

1:21:10🔗 Drew Yeah. That's because to make sure it's not an STD.

1:21:13🔗 Adam Yeah. All right, Paul.

1:21:14🔗 Caller All right, thanks.

1:21:15🔗 Adam Good luck with that urethra. Let's talk to Michelle. Michelle?

1:21:20🔗 Hi.

1:21:20🔗 Adam Hey, you're 23.

1:21:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:22🔗 Adam What's up?

1:21:23🔗 Caller Well, I'm fine. I just have a question to you. I want to know what you can, if you can help me. I'm new in this city and it seems to me like all the guys I'm meeting, they're always older than me. And the last guy I met, it was-

1:21:35🔗 Drew What city, what city are you talking about?

1:21:37🔗 Caller In LA.

1:21:38🔗 Adam Where are you from?

1:21:39🔗 Caller Originally, I don't want to say.

1:21:41🔗 Justin Whalin Israel.

1:21:43🔗 Caller Well, I don't want to say it, so I'm not going to say it.

1:21:45🔗 Adam We'll go with Israel then.

1:21:46🔗 What's my dad doing in Israel?

1:21:48🔗 Adam That's Israel, right?

1:21:50🔗 Caller Why?

1:21:51🔗 Adam Well, Justin heard Israel.

1:21:53🔗 Caller Well, I didn't say that.

1:21:54🔗 Caller Right.

1:21:55🔗 Adam But he would be right, wouldn't he?

1:21:57🔗 Caller Okay.

1:21:59🔗 Adam Very good. Good ear.

1:22:00🔗 Caller It's very easy to guess my accent.

1:22:03🔗 Adam Well, I wouldn't guess Israel.

1:22:05🔗 Caller Okay. So if we're speaking about the place I came from, completely different than here. And here I met this guy and he's 40 years old.

1:22:12🔗 Adam I see.

1:22:13🔗 Caller And I don't really know what to do with it. I mean, we started as a friend and now it's getting more serious.

1:22:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:22:20🔗 Caller And people say he can be my father, but I don't feel that way and I, I'm really confused. I mean, I don't know if I should go on with that or not.

1:22:28🔗 Adam Yeah. They do it all the time here.

1:22:30🔗 Drew Is he divorced or has he been...

1:22:32🔗 Caller No, no.

1:22:33🔗 Adam Still married?

1:22:34🔗 Caller No.

1:22:35🔗 Drew I mean, it's a little bit, you know, you're...

1:22:37🔗 Caller Well, actually he's single and he wasn't married.

1:22:39🔗 Adam I see.

1:22:40🔗 Drew Your concerns are of course rational.

1:22:43🔗 Caller He's trying to be another, like, three years. Three years. That's my concern.

1:22:47🔗 Drew Well then he'll be dead in three years.

1:22:48🔗 Caller Right. I mean...

1:22:49🔗 Adam Prostate will blow up.

1:22:51🔗 Caller You what?

1:22:52🔗 Adam Hey, Michelle.

1:22:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:53🔗 Adam What's so different? That doesn't go on in Israel?

1:22:56🔗 Caller Actually, no. I mean, no.

1:22:59🔗 Adam What happens?

1:22:59🔗 Caller In Israel, guys at this age are much more mature. And everything here, I mean, here people my age are so childish.

1:23:09🔗 Adam Right. Well, welcome to the States.

1:23:11🔗 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:23:12🔗 Adam Well, listen, if he's a good guy and treats you right and you're a mature young lady who's traveled around and probably more mature than your average American 23 year old, it could work out, but your concerns are justified.

1:23:27🔗 Drew It's not like you're 17 and he's 35. That'd be a very different situation. You're an adult.

1:23:31🔗 Adam Better for him.

1:23:33🔗 Drew There are issues in that age difference, but you're well aware of what they are.

1:23:36🔗 Adam So make your choices. Why don't you look at him as an individual, not as a number, see how it goes.

1:23:43🔗 Justin Whalin You're not getting married anytime soon, right?

1:23:44🔗 Drew No, she wants to.

1:23:46🔗 Justin Whalin Okay. So.

1:23:47🔗 Adam Hey, were you in the army in Israel?

1:23:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:50🔗 Adam How's that? Everyone goes in for a year?

1:23:52🔗 Caller Yeah, you have to go to the army. I mean, girls for three years, boys for three years.

1:23:57🔗 Adam Really? And what, at 18?

1:23:59🔗 Caller 18. When you finish high school, you have like months or two months, it depends. And then you go straight to the army. That's why everyone is much more mature. Yeah.

1:24:07🔗 Adam Sure. Well, but through basic training.

1:24:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:10🔗 Justin Whalin And they got Uzi?

1:24:12🔗 Caller And M16.

1:24:13🔗 Justin Whalin Sorry, sorry, sorry.

1:24:15🔗 Caller A lot of guns.

1:24:16🔗 Caller Right.

1:24:17🔗 Adam All right. But isn't that Israeli gun, that Uzi?

1:24:21🔗 Caller Excuse me?

1:24:22🔗 Adam Seems like you guys should have Uzi or something. All right. Who are those M16s from? We give you those?

1:24:28🔗 Caller What, in the army?

1:24:29🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah, it's an American gun, right?

1:24:32🔗 Caller I'm not sure if it's an American gun.

1:24:34🔗 Adam Yeah, I think it is. All right. So, Michelle?

1:24:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Just keep your eyes open. Enjoy yourself. If it gives you any crap, you cut a throat with piano wire.

1:24:43🔗 Caller Okay.

1:24:44🔗 Adam Don't they teach you that?

1:24:45🔗 Drew And then follow the usual Corolla.

1:24:46🔗 Caller I follow to hit, to cut a throat and to shoot.

1:24:48🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

1:24:50🔗 Drew She knows how to do it.

1:24:51🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. They're all trained.

1:24:52🔗 Justin Whalin They're very trained over there.

1:24:54🔗 Drew What's up, Michelle? You want to say what?

1:24:55🔗 Caller I just want to say good luck to Justin and his new movie.

1:24:58🔗 Justin Whalin Thank you.

1:24:59🔗 Caller And have fun.

1:25:00🔗 Justin Whalin Thank you.

1:25:01🔗 Adam All right.

1:25:01🔗 Drew And Adam gives the same advice as usual. Enjoy.

1:25:05🔗 Adam Enjoy.

1:25:05🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah.

1:25:06🔗 Adam She's all right. Yeah. I like that. I think everyone should get out of high school here and maybe that would also solve our problems. Well, I'll tell you, the two, three years I spent on any problems, two, three years after high school for me, I spent just urinating on my buddies and eating fast food. I didn't do a goddamn thing.

1:25:24🔗 Drew You had your own sort of basic training, though.

1:25:29🔗 Adam Yes. I became my penis became an assassin. But here's what I'm saying. I think everyone should get out high. Even if you're going off to college, you'd be a better student after a little basic training. You know what I mean?

1:25:40🔗 Drew A couple years.

1:25:41🔗 Adam Well, look at it this way. I think, and this wasn't your case because you were essentially in college from the sixth grade on because you went to that little Lord Fauntleroy school for albino hemophiliacs, which is a very prestigious prep school in Pasadena. Very nice. Most guys, if you think about it, and women, but especially guys, they get out of high school, they go to college and they just drink for the first two, three years. All they do is just get loaded and chase skirts for the first couple of years. They really don't do anything. And as well they should. It's the first time out of the house.

1:26:12🔗 Justin Whalin They're 18.

1:26:13🔗 Adam They're blowing off a whole bunch of steam. They've had gathered up for the last few years. I say you go bayonet a haydummy for a while and learn what it's like to get up early and do some pushups and all that kind of stuff and get yelled at by some guy who wears a hat that's too low in the front. I don't know why they do that, but that seems to be the style in the military. You get miserable a couple years of that. Now you're ready for college.

1:26:39🔗 Justin Whalin Everything after that seems like a piece of cake.

1:26:41🔗 Adam Pow. That's right.

1:26:42🔗 Drew How you're ready.

1:26:43🔗 Adam Pow, you're ready for college. You're begging for college after a few years of that.

1:26:47🔗 Caller Edward?

1:26:48🔗 Adam Yo. You're 18. What's up?

1:26:50🔗 Caller Hey, let me first just say, Justin?

1:26:52🔗 Justin Whalin Yo.

1:26:52🔗 Caller Yeah, I admire anyone that works with Chucky the Killer Doll.

1:26:55🔗 Justin Whalin Thank you, man.

1:26:56🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:26:56🔗 Caller So, I'm proud of you on that.

1:26:57🔗 Caller Thanks, bro.

1:26:59🔗 Adam Oh, you were in that movie, too?

1:27:01🔗 Justin Whalin Child's Play 3, yes, I was.

1:27:02🔗 Adam Oh, three?

1:27:04🔗 Justin Whalin Just number three.

1:27:05🔗 Adam I see. Yeah. I never met. I think I did see. I know I saw one. I'm not sure if I saw two. Drew, did you see it, Chucky?

1:27:11🔗 Drew I never saw it.

1:27:11🔗 Adam The doll I killed?

1:27:12🔗 Drew No, no, no.

1:27:13🔗 Adam It could have.

1:27:14🔗 Justin Whalin He was a killer doll. He was actually a funny puppet.

1:27:16🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:27:17🔗 Justin Whalin Yeah, it's like a million dollar puppet. You can actually talk to it in between takes, that kind of stuff. No, there's like seven guys working it and Braddorf does the voice for it. It's kind of a fun little special effect.

1:27:27🔗 Drew It will talk you and you will address it between.

1:27:29🔗 Justin Whalin Absolutely. I'll talk to the dog. I was like, all right, move him that way.

1:27:32🔗 Adam The puppet had a bigger trailer than Justin.

1:27:34🔗 Justin Whalin It did have a bigger trailer than I did.

1:27:36🔗 Adam Little bad blood on the set. Well, you know, he was vegan to the puppet.

1:27:40🔗 Justin Whalin Goddamn puppet.

1:27:41🔗 Adam Edward.

1:27:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:42🔗 Adam All right. So what's up?

1:27:44🔗 Caller Yeah, Dr. Drew, I was just wondering if you could tell me or if you could tell me where I can get info on which, like major chain retail stores, you know, like Walmart and stuff do and do not carry the morning after pill.

1:27:57🔗 Drew I think Walmart does not, but that's about the only one that doesn't and their logic for not carrying it was bizarre.

1:28:04🔗 Adam Well, to be fair to them, they had too much shelf space taken up by ammunition for them to actually pedal.

1:28:10🔗 Drew And you can call the, I believe it's the prevent people have a phone number 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE, L-A-T-E, and they can tell you who's got it and where to get it.

1:28:22🔗 Adam I heard today that they were going to make this non-prescription now.

1:28:28🔗 Justin Whalin Oh, where?

1:28:29🔗 Adam Just everywhere.

1:28:30🔗 Drew Oh, that would be awesome.

1:28:30🔗 Adam I heard the FDA or somebody was considering this.

1:28:33🔗 Drew Well, because it's been used in Europe for decades with not a single adverse effect. Not one. I can't think of any drug. I tile it off for Christ's sake. I mean, there's not a drug I can think of that has that kind of track record. And it's extremely effective in preventing pregnancy.

1:28:47🔗 Adam I got to go on a slight minor tirade. Just one second. Here's what I want the FDA to do. Decide what is healthy to ingest, what is dangerous to ingest, what the medical ramifications are of drugs, not the moral implications of drugs.

1:29:04🔗 Drew The FDA is not doing the moral stuff. It is not them.

1:29:07🔗 Adam They are being pressured. The powers that be are pressured. They have a lot of pressure put. Why isn't Walmart carrying this? Figure out if it's safe, figure out if it works, and then make your recommendations. Can't the FDA recommend that a drug be prescription or non-prescription? Who decides that?

1:29:25🔗 Drew They're going to do that.

1:29:26🔗 Adam They're going to do it. But why? Why are they going to do it? Why didn't they do it right out of the chute?

1:29:31🔗 Drew Because we have this legal system in our country that requires a ton of different kinds of machinations. You have to go through to protect yourself.

1:29:38🔗 Adam Aren't there things that can come right onto the shelf from the FDA process onto the shelf?

1:29:46🔗 Drew I don't know.

1:29:46🔗 Adam Nothing? Everything is prescription first?

1:29:48🔗 Drew It's already been prescription. It has to go out of prescription onto the shelf. It's not that it could come out right onto the shelf.

1:29:55🔗 Justin Whalin But don't you think if it has this great track record in Europe and they've been using it for years and years and years and abortion is legal here, why haven't we had it?

1:30:04🔗 Drew We're not talking about the abortion pill. We're talking about the morning after pill.

1:30:07🔗 Adam But the RU-486 for that matter.

1:30:10🔗 Drew RU-486 is a much more complicated issue and it does have some deleterious effects and it can make people sick. But the morning after pill works just like the birth control pill. It suppresses ovulation. It doesn't allow pregnancy to occur. It's not an abortion pill. 70% effective for the first 72 hours after an unprotected intercourse. No adverse effects. Women should have that in their medicine.

1:30:31🔗 Adam The point is it's ridiculous to have this thing not be on the shelves. It's like saying we should take children's aspirin and make your pharmacist dispense that too. It's not dangerous.

1:30:44🔗 Drew It's effective. It'll be out. It'll be out.

1:30:46🔗 Adam Yeah, it'll be out. Let's hope this should have been 10 years ago. Amen. That's my point, Drew. Why are you defending these people?

1:30:54🔗 Drew Because for instance, the FDA...

1:30:56🔗 Caller Because you're in their back pocket, aren't you?

1:30:57🔗 Drew No, the FDA...

1:30:58🔗 Adam You're in kickbacks.

1:30:59🔗 Drew Let me answer this. How dare you?

1:31:00🔗 Caller Shut up.

1:31:01🔗 Drew The FDA asked for people to come out and manufacture this product, and only one company stepped up because people were concerned about the legal ramifications. We have a screwed up system. It doesn't allow people to bring out healthy products for people.

1:31:14🔗 Caller Well, we're almost got a president now. Yeah.

1:31:17🔗 Adam They bring out all kinds of products. It's a moral thing. It's not a legal thing. What about every other product that are much more dangerous than this? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:31:27🔗 Drew It takes a while for them to come out. You just don't notice it takes so long.

1:31:29🔗 Adam No. This has taken longer. This has been around for a long time. The ability, the technology, the drugs have been in place for 30 years. Why couldn't they figure this out 20 years ago? Because it's a moral thing.

1:31:42🔗 Drew Because they're concerned, but they get it.

1:31:43🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:31:44🔗 Caller All right.

1:31:44🔗 Adam We'll take a break.

1:31:45🔗 Caller You know what I'm saying, Adam and Dr. Drew.

1:32:05🔗 Caller 100.7, the plus.

1:32:15🔗 Adam Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, Justin Whalin is our guest tonight. He's from Dungeons and Dragons, which is coming out this Friday, with lots of big celebrities in it. Go out and see that, and let's hop back on the phones and speak to Jeff. Jeff?

1:32:36🔗 Caller Hey.

1:32:36🔗 Adam You're 30, what's up?

1:32:38🔗 Caller Well, let's see, about nine months ago, I started having a lot of pain with bowel movement, and...

1:32:44🔗 Adam Why does that sound funny, Drew? Is it funny with that? Because you're a doctor, I'm sorry, go ahead.

1:32:49🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, okay, so I was having a lot of pain when I had bowel movements, and it would last for maybe like eight hours afterwards, like, just a lot of pain, like, pretty much unbearable, so I went to a doctor in, I think July or so, and he gave me the whole rectal probe thing with his finger, and then he told me it was hemorrhoids.

1:33:08🔗 Adam What?

1:33:08🔗 Caller Gave me some cream, like, a prescription for the cream, and then I, in like a month, it still hadn't gone away, so I went, so I called him again, he referred me to a surgeon, and I called there, and went in there, and then he did the same thing with the probe and everything, and then he told me it was an anal fissure, and told me to take just, like, metamucil and stuff like that, and it would go away.

1:33:33🔗 Drew He didn't give you any other creams?

1:33:35🔗 Caller No, he didn't give me any other creams or anything.

1:33:39🔗 Adam What's that fissure?

1:33:40🔗 Drew It's just like a sore, like a crater along the anus.

1:33:45🔗 Adam Crater along the anus?

1:33:46🔗 Drew Yeah, like a long sore.

1:33:47🔗 Caller Wait a minute.

1:33:48🔗 Adam You know that part where your cheeks connect, that seam?

1:33:54🔗 Caller Yes.

1:33:55🔗 Adam You know what I'm talking about? What does that seam call? Is there a name for that seam?

1:33:59🔗 Drew No. Gluteal folds.

1:34:01🔗 Adam Gluteal folds. Yeah. Once in a while, I've noticed my seam, it gets a little raised up, like a little irritated.

1:34:09🔗 Drew That's a pyloneal cyst.

1:34:10🔗 Adam And it goes away.

1:34:12🔗 Caller Oh, shut up.

1:34:15🔗 Adam You've never been happier.

1:34:16🔗 Caller Oh my God.

1:34:17🔗 Adam Whenever there's... Oh, listen, I see Drew sits here like a stonehenge for two hours and then I bring up something wrong with my anus and he lights up, beams. He's like a child on Christmas running for the tree.

1:34:30🔗 Drew It also could be a recurrence of a fistula. Because I think that so-called carbuncle is probably a fistula inside a tree.

1:34:38🔗 Adam How dare you call my carbuncle a fistula? That was a carbuncle? If there ever was a carbuncle, I lanced it myself. It was a flashlight and a full-length mirror, but it worked.

1:34:48🔗 Drew It could be something resurfacing, as it were.

1:34:51🔗 Adam I got light to my anus the same way the Egyptians got light to the center. Would you shut up?

1:34:57🔗 Drew I'm sorry.

1:34:58🔗 Adam I forget. Go ahead, Drew. I had a joke.

1:35:01🔗 Drew He's going to get light to the center of the pyramid.

1:35:04🔗 Adam It's always good to cut the guy off of this joke and then wrap it up. That was the joke. Take his wife, please. Anyway, let's get back to the... We had to do a stand-up routine. I start talking about airplane food. I go, what is it? I flew over here and then drew you pipe up. We didn't fly on a plane today. Anyway, I was on a plane that day. Boy, I'll tell you. He's going to say the food's really bad.

1:35:25🔗 Caller Next joke.

1:35:27🔗 Adam Drew, you're right, we can do this whole show in 30 minutes. I want to know what is up with my ass for just a second. That part where it connects, what I like to call the seam.

1:35:37🔗 Drew The fold.

1:35:38🔗 Adam The fold. It goes down your nutsack.

1:35:42🔗 Drew Under there.

1:35:42🔗 Adam That area.

1:35:43🔗 Drew It's like a frenulum under there. The perineum.

1:35:45🔗 Adam You know when you're nuts, you know guys when your nuts are cold, you can see where the two, the right and the left part, were welded along the seam there. And that crack will follow down under the sack and over to the anus. It magically goes away above the anus. Somehow there was a seam there. I think that's where you got stuffed. It's like that's where they stuffed you when you're being born. Dude, you really check yourself out.

1:36:09🔗 Drew He gets weird thoughts about himself, too.

1:36:11🔗 Adam I mean, like, if you were the human doll, if you were the Adam doll, you'd have an opening between the bottom of your anus and the top of your nut sack where you were stuffed. It's like, where they stuffed and then they welded it back shut.

1:36:26🔗 Caller You know they have an action figure.

1:36:27🔗 Justin Whalin You can get, you know, that can be the special trait of the action figure. You can stuff the anus.

1:36:32🔗 Adam Now we're super stuffing action.

1:36:34🔗 Justin Whalin Super stuffing.

1:36:35🔗 Adam No, but, Drew, you know what I'm saying. It stops above the anus and stops when it hits the penis under the sack, right?

1:36:41🔗 Drew Immersively, this show is gonna stop.

1:36:43🔗 Adam That seam, that seam around the anus has gotten a little inflamed at times. You know what I'm talking about?

1:36:50🔗 Drew I can't cook your fish, Shula.

1:36:52🔗 Adam No, you know what it feels like? It feels like you're eating too much spicy food, a little acid or something. You know, like you got diarrhea. You know, you get diarrhea and your anus gets a little.

1:37:02🔗 Justin Whalin Your bass goes passing through.

1:37:04🔗 Adam A little charged up down there.

1:37:05🔗 Drew We'll be right back.

1:37:06🔗 Adam You know what I'm talking about?

1:37:07🔗 Drew Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

1:37:08🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:37:09🔗 Drew I feel your pain, man. Yeah.

1:37:10🔗 Adam So it's like, it's like a little flap, you know? You want to talk to this guy off the air, Drew?

1:37:14🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:37:14🔗 Adam All right, we'll be back.

1:37:16🔗 Hello, this is your radio.

1:37:41🔗 Caller All right, well, here you go.

1:37:43🔗 Adam We're just talking about the perils of flying first-class. All right, Justin, thanks a lot for coming in.

1:37:49🔗 Justin Whalin Thanks, man.

1:37:50🔗 Adam Dungeons and Dragons, everyone, this Friday. Go out and see that, please, and support our new friend, Justin. This is a good meeting. You could have him. Come back any time you like. I will.

1:38:01🔗 Justin Whalin I won't come bother you guys.

1:38:03🔗 Adam Natalie Ritano will be in here a little later this weekend. Until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Shut up.

1:38:11🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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