Monday, December 4, 2000

2:57🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

3:09🔗 Adam Hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew in Milwaukee. I guess that would be a resounding yes. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew, like I said, is a board certified and all that crap. Drew, are you there? This is a fantastic radio. Drew, yes, we are hearing you.

3:37🔗 Drew You got me now?

3:38🔗 Adam Unfortunately, yes.

3:40🔗 Drew Oh, come on.

3:41🔗 Adam Can you hear me?

3:42🔗 Drew I hear you loud and clear. Can you hear me?

3:44🔗 Adam Yeah. Can you hear me? Should we dedicate the first hour of the show to the Can You Hear Me game? A couple more laps. Drew, where are you?

3:53🔗 Drew To what a dick you are. I'm in Milwaukee. I'm speaking for the Centers for Disease Control tomorrow.

3:57🔗 Adam I see. And how much are they paying you?

3:59🔗 Drew Zero.

4:00🔗 Adam You fool.

4:01🔗 Drew Yes. Thank you, Adam. Not nearly the kind of remunerative effects that say something like caught red-handed would have had in my career.

4:09🔗 Adam You're lucky. I don't know what remunerative means, you son of a bitch, but I know you mean it in a bad way. And is it what, 10 degrees over there in Wisconsin?

4:17🔗 Drew It's colder than S. Milwaukee is an interesting little town. It's sort of caught back in the 70s a little bit.

4:23🔗 Adam Yeah, I hear they got a gas station coming in soon.

4:26🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah they do.

4:27🔗 Adam Fantastic. All right, tonight is our guest is No Forcefield, which is a group of idiots, some of which were in Primus, and will tell us all about the reason, one of the reasons they're in here is Juggie Vanessa is also in here from The Man Show.

4:47🔗 Drew Another chance to talk about The Man Show. That's the reason they're in there.

4:51🔗 Adam Vanessa is, I would say, without, at the risk of pissing off some of the other Juggies, the most popular of all the Juggies. Not that they're all not popular, but I think Vanessa, you have your own web page.

5:04🔗 Bouncy, bouncy.

5:05🔗 Adam Calendar and all that stuff, right?

5:07🔗 Guest Oh, I have everything. I have calendars, posters, behind the scenes videos with the, for my calendar shoot.

5:13🔗 I have-

5:13🔗 Drew Vanessa, this is all from The Man Show?

5:15🔗 Guest This is all from The Man Show. Oh, thanks to Adam and Jimmy.

5:17🔗 Guest Oh, please.

5:19🔗 Guest They're my kings.

5:21🔗 Guest Oh, I'm going to be nauseated.

5:24🔗 Adam This is why we started the show, Drew. Do you understand that?

5:27🔗 Drew Yeah, I know that.

5:28🔗 Adam And what other-

5:29🔗 Drew Does she have to play into your hand so-

5:31🔗 Adam Yes, she does. We'll fire her.

5:33🔗 Guest He's my master.

5:34🔗 Adam That's right.

5:36🔗 Guest That is right.

5:37🔗 Adam Yes. In what other world would we have someone who looked like Vanessa labeling us kings?

5:42🔗 Guest Drew, too bad you're not here. I'm topless.

5:44🔗 Adam Just kidding. Drew pretends not to like women because his wife listens. All right. So let's talk about this. I got the CD here in front of me. And first, let's talk about the project. We also have Arjun and Larry in here from the band, No Forcefield. How does this work? And how is it related to Primus?

6:06🔗 Guest Basically, it's an album that was recorded at my house, like during a party. And like you say, when you say idiots, that proves that you know more about the band than I thought.

6:16🔗 Adam I meant Jackoffs.

6:18🔗 Guest That's even closer, actually.

6:20🔗 Adam And what made you guys decide to put the homage to Vanessa on the CD? Are you guys a Man Show fan? Oh, yeah.

6:28🔗 Guest And we're not like these new Man Show fans. We go way back. Even before the first episode, it was called the Man Show.

6:35🔗 Drew But you know, there is a diabolical strategy.

6:36🔗 Guest Just based off the commercials. We knew that it was going to be a very high art show.

6:41🔗 Drew Anybody that has a product that they want Adam to talk about on the radio and on television just somehow connect it to the Man Show and he'll yap about it for years.

6:51🔗 Adam How dare you?

6:51🔗 Drew It's a diabolical strategy.

6:53🔗 Adam How dare you accuse them to sucking up to me?

6:55🔗 Guest Don't talk like that, Drew.

6:57🔗 Adam Vanessa, I need more sucking up, by the way. I still have something in me that needs to come out.

7:03🔗 Drew I'm not dissing you guys. I'm busting out of the chops.

7:06🔗 Adam You hear about sucking up, but what about sucking out? Wouldn't that be better?

7:09🔗 Guest Wow, that is better.

7:12🔗 Adam Vanessa, for those people who don't know Vanessa, she's the beautiful blonde with the beautiful cans, who is a gymnast, who is the one who's always on the back in that long pole doing things that would scare most mothers. And she has a... Most poles. Yeah, the pole is frightened. The pole is in therapy right now, actually, from just what Vanessa did to it last season. That's right. The pole would prefer not to talk about it, but it is suffering post-traumatic stress disorder. Vanessa, I know, was in a circus for a while.

7:47🔗 Guest I still am. I actually just got back from Atlanta, Georgia about, not even a month ago.

7:51🔗 Adam Really?

7:51🔗 Guest Yeah, and we're supposed to be going around the world. It's a 50-50 chance right now for a tour for about a month and a half or two.

7:58🔗 Adam She's a trapeze artist and she loves animals. You'd make a great centerfold. I can really see it all laid out. You love animals. How many animals do you have, Vanessa?

8:09🔗 Guest I have four. I have four dogs and a toad.

8:13🔗 Adam Don't you have goats and meese and ostriches and stuff?

8:17🔗 Guest The goat was your last night.

8:18🔗 Adam Oh, that was last night. That's right.

8:20🔗 Drew Oh my God.

8:21🔗 Adam I'm having flashbacks.

8:23🔗 Guest That's a big mic.

8:24🔗 Adam All right. So Vanessa, the Man Show has been good to you, right?

8:27🔗 Guest Oh, it's been very good.

8:28🔗 I love it.

8:29🔗 Guest Everything that's happened to me is because of the Man Show.

8:31🔗 Adam Who's cuter, me or Jimmy?

8:35🔗 You know what?

8:36🔗 Guest I think it's going to have to be you. Yeah. You know, but I have to look at your butt, though, too. I haven't really got a glimpse of it because you always wear loose shirts on the Man Show, so I can never really see it, except for when we were in Jamaica.

8:46🔗 Guest Right.

8:47🔗 Guest Yeah, when you were in your bathing suit.

8:48🔗 Guest Yeah.

8:49🔗 Adam Well, I wear thong back.

8:50🔗 Guest It was very nice, ladies.

8:52🔗 Adam It's around the pool.

8:53🔗 Guest Yeah.

8:54🔗 Drew Adam, Anne's been hard at work for you today. She got Minka to come.

8:58🔗 Adam She booked number one Asian big boob queen Minka.

9:01🔗 Guest Do you have a picture of that around? I'm dying to see this.

9:04🔗 Adam You know what Minka looks? Have you seen Minka?

9:05🔗 Guest I heard you talk about her, but.

9:07🔗 Adam She she does not disappoint. Anderson, could you yank a picture of Minka off the computer or something? We'll we'll get you that. Oriental big boob queen.

9:17🔗 Is it politically correct to wear Minka these days?

9:20🔗 Adam No, you get you get paint thrown on if you go, especially New York. All right, Drew, you ready to rock here?

9:26🔗 Drew Yeah, we got some wild calls. Here we go.

9:28🔗 Adam All right, Jared. Jared.

9:32🔗 Yeah.

9:32🔗 Adam You're 15. What's up?

9:33🔗 Caller Yeah. Um, one second. Adam, first of all, you just like totally kick ass. Yeah. Yeah, you're like God to me. Mike Manchurian kicks ass. And Vanessa, you're hot. And Drew, you're tight. And Big Brother, I kind of suck.

9:53🔗 Drew No kidding.

9:53🔗 Yeah.

9:55🔗 Caller Anyway.

9:58🔗 Drew I wasn't named to 15 year olds.

9:59🔗 Adam You're done with the reviews? What's your question?

10:04🔗 Caller Yeah, I was at a party. And I got hammered. End up playing a game that I wish I didn't play. I called Soggy Waffle.

10:16🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

10:17🔗 Caller You guys familiar with that?

10:18🔗 Adam No, but I know if you wish you hadn't played it and it says soggy, I'm guessing the waffle was drenching semen.

10:25🔗 Guest Yeah, the odds are with that.

10:27🔗 Drew Now, wait a minute. In the neighborhood you hung around, Adam, might not be a semen.

10:31🔗 Adam Yeah, it could have been number two. What?

10:33🔗 Drew That's right.

10:35🔗 Adam Yeah, that was called Chunky Waffle. That was another game we used to play in high school.

10:39🔗 Guest Okie-Kokie.

10:40🔗 Guest Yeah.

10:42🔗 Adam A little man show reference there with Okie-Kokie. What was the topping on this waffle?

10:49🔗 Caller It was definitely what comes out of your penis.

10:51🔗 Adam I see.

10:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

10:53🔗 Adam And the white stuff that comes out of your penis?

10:54🔗 Caller That's correct.

10:55🔗 Adam Alright. And how many guys have participated in the waffle?

11:00🔗 Caller Five.

11:00🔗 Adam Five. And explain the game. I think I know the rules, but they vary from state to state. So tell me how it's played.

11:07🔗 Caller Well, you have to get around the waffle, you know, and masturbate until, you know, the last guy doesn't finish, and he's forced to eat the waffle. Right.

11:20🔗 Adam Right. And to me...

11:22🔗 Drew Wait a minute. What is the...

11:23🔗 Adam I'll tell you, I don't like this game because you're being rewarded for having a premature ejaculation. The guy who goes first seems... That would be a better game.

11:31🔗 Guest Yeah, I think he's actually the guy who wins.

11:33🔗 Drew And under pressure, but the point is, what is the positive benefit to engaging in this game? I mean, what would make you even agree to be a part of this?

11:43🔗 Caller I don't know.

11:44🔗 Drew Only bad can come out of this.

11:47🔗 Guest Was the trivial pursuit game already full?

11:49🔗 Yeah.

11:51🔗 Adam Yeah. No, I'll tell you why, Drew. You don't understand this because you're not a man. You're really not. You may have male parts, or even that is in some dispute, but you're not a true man. True men love to see their friends humiliated, and that is what's in it for them. That is a payday. It is, you know, you guys have done this, we all pool money to get one of your friends to eat something rancid or do something like that, make an ass for himself or something may potentially injure him.

12:18🔗 Guest I ate a frog in high school.

12:20🔗 Adam Did you?

12:20🔗 Guest One of them formaldehyde frogs, a little bite of it.

12:23🔗 Adam How much?

12:24🔗 Guest Five bucks, but that was back then. It was worth more.

12:26🔗 Adam Oh yeah, that was like eight bucks now.

12:27🔗 Guest Like eight bucks.

12:28🔗 Adam You ate that one, science class?

12:30🔗 Guest Yeah.

12:31🔗 Adam Right out of the jar.

12:32🔗 Guest I just ate a little piece. It was like 40 bucks for the whole frog, and then I ended up getting like five bucks for a little chunk.

12:37🔗 Adam All right, my partner, Jimmy Kimmel, ate a piece of bacon that came from a McDonald's burger that was pinned with a tap to the wall of the K-Rock Morning Show office and the date written on it one year later. And this is 18 months ago. This is as an adult. This is not a kid who...

12:56🔗 Guest As a rich man as well.

12:57🔗 Adam This is as a wealthy man. Yes.

12:59🔗 Guest How much did he get for it?

13:02🔗 Adam I think he did it on a dare. You know how it is. A year later, you figure you're not going to be there anymore.

13:07🔗 Guest Did he get sick?

13:08🔗 Adam No, he did fine. He's got a stomach like the Merrimack.

13:14🔗 Caller All right.

13:14🔗 Adam So did they all hit the waffle?

13:17🔗 Caller Yep.

13:17🔗 Adam I see. And you actually consumed the entire waffle?

13:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:22🔗 Adam In front of everybody.

13:24🔗 Guest How did it taste?

13:25🔗 Guest Oh.

13:26🔗 Adam Salty.

13:28🔗 Guest What kind of waffle was it?

13:31🔗 Adam Yeah. And did you taco it and shot gun it or did you just nibble around it?

13:38🔗 Caller I had to shot gun it.

13:40🔗 Adam I see. Very nice. And did you vomit later?

13:42🔗 Caller I did. I have been for the last couple of days.

13:46🔗 Adam Couple of days?

13:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:46🔗 Guest I might be for a couple of days as well after hearing about that.

13:48🔗 Drew You vomited because of the thought of it or did you actually become ill for some reason?

13:52🔗 Caller I'm ill from it. And I got these like, you know, white spots on the inside of my lips and stuff.

13:59🔗 Adam Well, that could be just a little residue.

14:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:02🔗 Adam That stuff, it doesn't come off easily. Any guy, you know, I've taken a few showers and still had something left from a week earlier.

14:11🔗 Drew The white spots could just be from all the vomiting. It's not so you're going to contract.

14:15🔗 Adam Well, Liz, you're vomiting over the thought of it, not because it's still making you sick a few days later, right?

14:21🔗 Caller Yeah, I kind of stopped vomiting today was probably the last day I stopped puking.

14:25🔗 Adam Yeah, he's fine. Any of these guys junkies?

14:29🔗 Caller Uh, not that I know of.

14:31🔗 Adam I see. Nice. See, I'll enter these contests with junkies. I know I'm worried about the HIV, but these guys can have trouble jacking off under pressure, so I know it's an easy win. Guy's all hopped up on coke. He's not going to make it. Hey, uh, Jarrett, we learned a valuable lesson. Yeah. And, uh, we've all done it before. It's a bit of a rite of passage. Drew?

14:54🔗 Drew Uh, I have not done this. This is not something I engage in. No. No.

14:59🔗 Adam You guys haven't done this?

15:00🔗 Guest No.

15:01🔗 Drew No.

15:01🔗 Guest I think Vanessa's saying she hasn't done this.

15:03🔗 Adam I see.

15:04🔗 Guest I use a graham cracker. I mean, no.

15:06🔗 Drew All right.

15:06🔗 Adam What should he do? Yes, that's smore. What should he do, Drew?

15:11🔗 Drew Well, there's not much he can do, right?

15:14🔗 Guest He lost fair and square.

15:17🔗 Drew He may have been exposed to some hepatitis. He may have been exposed to HIV. It's possible. I'll tell you, if he knows his friends, it's like having sex with each of them. It's amazing.

15:26🔗 Adam I know I'm always thinking, but this to me is smelling like a pay-per-view. This is the kind of thing I would watch.

15:32🔗 Guest I would actually pay money for this.

15:33🔗 Adam You see these Tyson fights. They last 35 seconds. Everyone's disappointed and pissed off. But this uckie waffle thing, this is something I could watch.

15:44🔗 Guest Yeah, and that's why water cooler talk the next day for sure. Much more than the knockout punch.

15:49🔗 Adam They never stop talking about that.

15:50🔗 Guest Yeah, you might even bring a taping.

15:52🔗 Adam Hey, Drew?

15:53🔗 Drew Yeah, it'll develop into the Ultimate Fighting Championships.

15:58🔗 Adam Ayla?

15:59🔗 Ayla.

16:00🔗 Adam Ayla, there you go. You're 14. What's up?

16:03🔗 Caller Um, like, uh, on Thanksgiving, my uncle had tried to seduce me.

16:09🔗 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy behavior.

16:12🔗 Drew How old is your uncle?

16:13🔗 Caller Uh, I think he's like 23.

16:15🔗 Drew This was when?

16:16🔗 Caller Um, Thanksgiving.

16:18🔗 Adam And when you say seduce, what do you mean?

16:20🔗 Caller I think he tried to seduce me. He started touching me.

16:24🔗 Adam Well, how old is he?

16:26🔗 Caller I think he's like 23.

16:28🔗 Adam Oh, you just said that. Is, is, uh, was he sleeping over at the house or something?

16:33🔗 Caller No, I was over at my grandma's house and she lives there. And he lives there, so I was, like, in his room trying to keep him awake because he was, like, um...

16:46🔗 Adam Losing his erection? Why are we trying to keep him awake?

16:50🔗 Caller Because my Auntie Frances told me to and, um... Why? Because he was, like, hanging. Because he had been drunk the night before.

17:00🔗 Drew He was hanging himself?

17:01🔗 Adam No, he was hanging out. You mean, they want to keep him...

17:03🔗 Caller No, he had to hang over.

17:04🔗 Adam You want to keep him awake so he wouldn't crash out over there?

17:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:08🔗 Adam Right. That means you got a horrible family. Yeah. When you're freaked out that your drunk uncle's going to pass out on the sofa and you're going to have to scrape him off the next morning or he's going to wake up in a pool and don't vomit or something.

17:20🔗 Caller It was the last time to eat so he didn't want him to fall asleep.

17:23🔗 Drew And so he's loaded. So who knows? Yes, of course. He would do all kinds of weird things.

17:29🔗 Adam Is this that surprising? I mean, hasn't this guy engaged in bizarre behavior before?

17:34🔗 Caller No.

17:35🔗 Adam He's never eaten a waffle laden with semen?

17:39🔗 Drew Let's examine the fact that she liked this though.

17:42🔗 Adam She once encouraged.

17:43🔗 Did you like it?

17:45🔗 Caller Well, I didn't encourage it.

17:47🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. But did you like it?

17:50🔗 Caller Not really.

17:51🔗 Adam All right. A little bit. Did you like the attention?

17:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:55🔗 Adam You did?

17:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:56🔗 Drew All right. Is that just a function of the fact that your dad never paid you any attention, or other men aren't paying you attention the way you'd like?

18:03🔗 Caller Just guys in general. But my dad is wonderful.

18:07🔗 Adam He is?

18:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:09🔗 Adam Yeah. When I close my eyes and I picture a dynamite individual.

18:13🔗 Drew Is this his brother?

18:15🔗 Caller No, this is my step uncle.

18:17🔗 Adam Uh-huh. Your step?

18:18🔗 Drew Well, wait a minute.

18:20🔗 Adam Well, that's...

18:21🔗 Guest That's not really interesting.

18:22🔗 Adam Yeah, it's not so bad then.

18:23🔗 Drew No, wait a minute. Your dad is wonderful and he's not married to your mom anymore? No.

18:28🔗 Adam Oh, things happen. Does my mic sound like hell, or is this just my headphones?

18:33🔗 Drew Yeah, no, it's your mic.

18:34🔗 Adam All right.

18:35🔗 Wait until the break.

18:36🔗 Adam What...

18:37🔗 Drew Your dad is so wonderful that you, he and your mom couldn't stay together?

18:41🔗 Adam Oh, please, Drew. How dare you? Everyone gets divorced.

18:45🔗 Guest It's very chic.

18:47🔗 Drew You can blame it about... Your parents all night long.

18:50🔗 Adam I know, but they should have got divorced. They should have got an annulment is what they should have gotten.

18:55🔗 Guest They're just not hit.

18:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

18:56🔗 Drew There's a book out now that describes a woman named Adam Lakers Wallerstein.

19:00🔗 Adam Oh, please.

19:01🔗 Drew The consequences on kids.

19:03🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah.

19:03🔗 Drew This is a great example of that.

19:05🔗 Adam Listen, everybody's parents got divorced. Show of hands. Whose parents are divorced? That's right. Everyone in this room.

19:10🔗 Guest Cross the board.

19:11🔗 Adam And look at us. We're all fine.

19:12🔗 Guest Yeah. My boy.

19:15🔗 Guest It turned out great.

19:15🔗 Adam I got a job where I talk to kids who ate waffles that have been jacked off on...

19:20🔗 Guest Hey, that's the hard work to get.

19:21🔗 Adam Larry and Arj are basically getting high parties and making bootleg CDs. We got Vanessa spinning around a pole and chasing monkeys around her ranch. It's all turned out for all of us. All right. Listen, Ayla. Ayla.

19:38🔗 Caller Ayla.

19:38🔗 Adam Yes, baby. Oh, Jesus Christ. What's it like going through the world with a name that no one can pronounce?

19:45🔗 Caller Well, it was supposed to be pronounced Ayla, but my dad kind of pronounced it wrong.

19:49🔗 Drew Dad, the wonderful guy.

19:51🔗 Adam Why should I pay? Because your dad has difficulty with English.

19:56🔗 Drew All right.

19:56🔗 Adam Listen, your uncle showed you some attention. Nothing happened, right?

20:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:03🔗 Adam He's a drunken idiot.

20:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:05🔗 Adam So don't go around him anymore.

20:07🔗 Drew But there are two red flags here. One is that to what lengths you would go to get attention from men, and you've got to be careful with yourself about that, and that you would be attracted to men or alcoholics and loaded and treating you poorly, that that would be an acceptable way for man to behave towards you. You really got to think about and be careful about your attractions and realize that what you need and what you ought to have seem to be somewhat different.

20:29🔗 Adam What that voice is killing me. It's killing you. Bring something up, would you please? Bring it up, put it on a waffle and I'll eat it. Bring it up though, would you? Hey, let me ask you guys a quick question. Would you rather be spat on or peed on? That's how I measure my friends, by the way.

20:47🔗 Really?

20:47🔗 Guest I'll take the spat for sure. You do?

20:50🔗 Oh, yeah.

20:50🔗 Adam Yeah. Good. Smart. Larry, Arj?

20:52🔗 Guest Depends who it is. Pestero.

20:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

20:55🔗 Guest If someone I don't like at all, then maybe spat on.

20:59🔗 Adam Really? I still think urination. Vanessa? Oh, I know Vanessa.

21:03🔗 Guest Stupid question for a female.

21:05🔗 Adam Put her down for number one.

21:06🔗 Yeah.

21:07🔗 Adam Absolutely.

21:08🔗 Guest I'm an angel.

21:10🔗 Adam Drew, would you like to be urinated on or spat on? Yeah.

21:13🔗 Drew Urinostero.

21:14🔗 Adam Urinostero. All right.

21:15🔗 Guest Well, that makes it sound much more appealing.

21:17🔗 Adam I'll keep it in mind when I see you tomorrow. Where are we going here, Drew? One more call? Yeah.

21:22🔗 Drew I just think let's go to the Primus call here.

21:25🔗 Adam Tony? Yeah, what's up? You're 18. What's up?

21:27🔗 Drew Oh, I'm doing good.

21:28🔗 What up, mayonnaise?

21:30🔗 Adam Word.

21:31🔗 Could you do that drop from Snoop?

21:33🔗 Caller That thing's awesome.

21:35🔗 Adam Drop that, uh, witchy Anderson.

21:36🔗 Guest That's my maymay man name.

21:39🔗 Caller That's so great.

21:40🔗 I love the speech you did on third parties the other day. That was right on.

21:43🔗 Drew On third parties?

21:44🔗 Yeah.

21:44🔗 Caller Remember when you went off of that lady called in saying how we shouldn't, uh, like discourage voters. And you can do the same thing. Go for it.

21:51🔗 Drew Shut up, damn it! That was like three weeks ago.

21:53🔗 Adam Easily. But go ahead, Tony.

21:55🔗 Drew I can't remember. I can't remember the goat call last night.

21:58🔗 You can't?

21:58🔗 That was pretty bad.

22:00🔗 Yeah. I had a question for Primus.

22:03🔗 Adam Well, we have one Primitian here.

22:06🔗 Yeah, Larry. Yo, man.

22:08🔗 Guest What's happening?

22:09🔗 Caller I had a question.

22:10🔗 What's going on with Brain?

22:11🔗 Caller I heard he quit the band.

22:13🔗 Guest Is that true? Something like that. We're waiting for the votes to come in still. We're recounting them. He's out in the hallway right now. So is it really? Yeah.

22:21🔗 Oh, right on.

22:22🔗 Caller Yeah, because I heard you guys might get Tim back if you're going to do another album.

22:26🔗 Guest You know, there's so many things up in the air. I wish I had a good answer for you.

22:30🔗 They're both awesome. So either way, it's great.

22:33🔗 Guest I kind of don't really get along with either of them. So.

22:35🔗 Oh, is that true?

22:36🔗 Guest No, I'm just kidding. They're both fabulous men.

22:40🔗 Caller Are you playing in Frog Brigade?

22:41🔗 Guest No, no.

22:43🔗 Adam But Arj did eat part of a frog in high school.

22:46🔗 Guest Yeah, there's always a connection.

22:48🔗 Caller Yeah, because I was wondering if it would be all possible to get past these passages of the Frog Brigade show. But I guess you couldn't help me out with that.

22:54🔗 Guest I couldn't, but you know, no.

22:56🔗 Caller Are you guys playing anytime soon in the Bay Area?

22:59🔗 Guest Nope.

22:59🔗 Guest I am.

23:01🔗 Guest Yeah, Arj is A.

23:01🔗 Guest I'm playing at Cobb's Comedy Club tomorrow night, Tuesday and Wednesday night of this week.

23:07🔗 Guest Oh, right on.

23:07🔗 Guest Yeah, it's not exactly Primus.

23:09🔗 Guest A, but you can get it in. There you go.

23:11🔗 Adam Tony?

23:12🔗 Yeah.

23:13🔗 Adam All right, so if you're hardcore, you'll go to the comedy club tomorrow night.

23:15🔗 Yeah, I'm hardcore like that.

23:16🔗 Caller Scott says hi, everyone.

23:19🔗 Adam I was worried about Scott. All right, Drew, squeeze one more in. What do you think?

23:25🔗 Drew Come on.

23:26🔗 Adam Oh, why? Because my mic screwed up? The Anderson wants to go to break. All right, Anderson, that's good radio.

23:32🔗 Drew Well, the computer program is screwing up here a little bit.

23:34🔗 Adam All right.

23:34🔗 Drew It's hanging up on people. It should be put out. Here you go, Andy.

23:37🔗 Adam No, no, no, no. Drew, here's the deal. I just found out from Anderson that everything is effed up in here and he wants to fix everything, so we're going to go to break. All right.

23:46🔗 Drew Put Andy back on hold, please.

23:47🔗 Adam So when we come back, we'll talk to Andy's 20s, obsessed with a 376-pound guy. Andy the guy or Andy the girl? We don't know.

23:57🔗 Guest We'll find out.

23:58🔗 Adam We've got No Forcefield here, some members of Primus, Vanessa, the loveliest of all the juggies from the Man Show.

24:06🔗 Guest The sweetest.

24:07🔗 Adam We'll be back after this.

24:09🔗 Guest You know what I'm saying, I'm dead. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

24:29🔗 Guest You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

24:48🔗 Adam Yes, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, who's out in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, everybody, doing some freebies, helping people learn about drugs being bad.

24:59🔗 Right, Drew?

25:00🔗 Drew Actually, this is a thing on sexually transmitted diseases for the Centers for Disease Control.

25:04🔗 Adam That's right.

25:05🔗 Drew And the use of media to educate.

25:08🔗 Adam That's right. And they want to talk to you because they know you know some people in the media, right? Yeah. All right. Phone number? No, 1-800-LOVE-191. No Forcefield is in here tonight. This is a new band. It's got a couple of Primus members in it. They put a song on the new CD, which is, well, it's called, is it called Vanessa? The Vanessa song from the Man Show?

25:34🔗 Guest Yeah, it's called Vanessa from the Man Show. Very simple. Love it. We like to get right to the point.

25:39🔗 Adam Vanessa is, I would say, the most popular juggie on the Man Show. I don't want to ruffle any other juggie feathers, but Vanessa has been around for a couple of seasons and she works hard at that.

25:51🔗 Guest I have been here since the beginning. I am like, there's only three of us who have been there since the beginning.

25:55🔗 Adam That's right.

25:56🔗 Guest Right. And you can see some of them on my website, actually.

26:00🔗 Adam Yeah, why don't you give that out?

26:02🔗 Guest It's Vanessa, kay.com. And if you go, you can see everything you want.

26:08🔗 Adam Am I on there?

26:10🔗 Guest Yes, I believe you are on there.

26:11🔗 Adam Fantastic.

26:12🔗 Guest And if you're not, you're going to be all over it. Actually, you're all over my room, so it's kind of...

26:17🔗 Adam Yeah. You're all over my hamper, which is, I don't mean you, but I mean, well, I don't want to get into it.

26:23🔗 Guest I'll give you a poster.

26:24🔗 Adam Thank you.

26:25🔗 Drew The product.

26:27🔗 Adam Your byproduct, your remnants are on my hamper. Thank you. I'm such a sweet talker. Arj and Larry are both here as well. And when we left off, we were talking about Andy, who's 20. Andy. Hello. Andy, you're obsessed with the 376 pound guy?

26:46🔗 Guest Yes.

26:47🔗 Adam Are you gay?

26:48🔗 Guest No, not at all.

26:49🔗 Adam You're not? Okay.

26:50🔗 Guest No. you bitch.

26:51🔗 Adam Why aren't you gay?

26:53🔗 Guest I like chicks.

26:54🔗 Adam I see.

26:55🔗 Guest Is he a pro wrestler?

26:57🔗 Guest He actually thinks that he is. He's trying to go into wrestling school.

27:00🔗 Adam I see. Why?

27:01🔗 Drew You mean you're obsessed. What does that mean?

27:03🔗 Guest I've been what I call hunting this guy since we were about 16. And that usually involves following him around. I know where he's at at all times. I've got pictures of him everywhere.

27:18🔗 Guest It's not hard to spot, is he?

27:20🔗 Adam Why? Why? You say hunting.

27:23🔗 Guest Are you sexually attracted to him?

27:25🔗 Guest No, he's very ugly.

27:27🔗 Adam And you say hunting. What do you mean?

27:29🔗 Guest Uh, it's just something we thought up a while back called John hunting. And we just, it started out just tracking him down. Then it got to the point to where it was, I had to find him to do things to him.

27:44🔗 Adam I see. And you couldn't have picked a guy who was 135 pounds to F with. You had to find a 375 pounder.

27:51🔗 Guest 76.

27:53🔗 Adam 76?

27:53🔗 Drew What stuff did you do to him?

27:54🔗 Adam Yeah, but he belches. He's down to 375. You break wind at 376. You're down to 374, aren't you?

28:02🔗 Guest Simple math.

28:04🔗 Adam Hey, uh, hold on. Hey, Drew? I don't know if I'm nuts about Andy. I don't like him that much. I think he's kind of a jerk-off. Andy, you got a couple seconds to convince me we should keep talking to you.

28:16🔗 Guest I can give you any information you need. Ask me the question.

28:20🔗 Adam On the person that we don't care about?

28:23🔗 Drew Why do you do this?

28:25🔗 Guest I'm not exactly sure. That's why I'm calling you guys.

28:28🔗 Drew And what have you done to him?

28:31🔗 Guest Couple weeks ago, I busted out the windshield in his car.

28:34🔗 Drew Does he know he's being tracked?

28:36🔗 Guest Yeah.

28:37🔗 Drew And he knows it's you?

28:38🔗 Guest He doesn't do anything about it.

28:40🔗 Adam Well, what is he going to do?

28:42🔗 Drew Call the police, you know, whatever.

28:45🔗 Guest Usually, he'll yell at me and I'll just say I didn't do it. And no matter how much evidence he has, he just goes with it.

28:54🔗 Adam This has been going on since he was 16 or you were 16?

28:59🔗 Guest Well, it actually started actually when we were in seventh grade, but it didn't start getting to the point of stalking until we were 16.

29:08🔗 Adam Why doesn't he kick your ass? And I swear, is this my goddamn microphone? Yes. Why doesn't he kick your ass?

29:18🔗 Guest I wonder the same thing. He tried to one time and I went into a fit of laughter.

29:25🔗 Adam And what's in it for you?

29:28🔗 I don't know.

29:29🔗 Adam Okay, well...

29:30🔗 Guest It's very funny and I'm not the only one that's like this.

29:33🔗 Adam I know, but listen, I hang around with a lot of jerk-off guys who like to screw with other guys, but you're not screwing with him. You're vandalizing his property.

29:41🔗 Drew Also it's not funny.

29:43🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, it's not like you took some crap or, you know, lit it on fire and put on his doorstep or jacked off on an AGO. This is malicious. It's not good clean fun like ingesting semen.

29:56🔗 Drew Yeah, you only make your friends ingest semen.

29:58🔗 Adam Right.

29:59🔗 Drew This guy's not your friend.

30:00🔗 Adam Yeah, Andy, I don't understand you busting out his windshield. It sounds like he's some ex-girlfriend who's banging one of your buddies.

30:08🔗 Guest It's just something to do.

30:11🔗 Adam I see.

30:11🔗 Guest I set his car on fire, busted the windshield out, busted other windows out.

30:15🔗 Guest Have you heard of a game called Stratego?

30:17🔗 Guest That's fun.

30:19🔗 Drew Are you doing drugs? Are you doing speed or anything?

30:21🔗 Guest Me?

30:22🔗 Drew Yeah, you.

30:23🔗 Guest Uh, not a lot.

30:25🔗 Adam All right. Hey, can you leave this guy alone before he sits on you?

30:29🔗 Guest He's done that.

30:30🔗 Drew Okay, listen.

30:32🔗 Adam Oh, who cares? Just I'll see you in hell, Jackoff.

30:36🔗 Guest You are ruthless.

30:37🔗 Adam Oh, who cares? This guy's an idiot. I know he's into something, but the point is, why do we keep milking this rock? He doesn't know why he's terrifying. Some guy who weighs 400 pounds, he won't tell us. He can't figure it out. He doesn't seem to want to stop. So good. I hope the guy runs him over one day. That's all.

30:56🔗 Drew Did you just get a new microphone?

30:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Geez.

30:59🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

31:01🔗 Adam What's the matter?

31:01🔗 Drew It's about ten times hotter than the other one.

31:04🔗 Adam All right. Well, Drew, if you'd stop traveling around the world like a goddamn globetrotter, maybe this wouldn't happen. I do blame you, you know.

31:13🔗 Guest You have the Center for Sexually Transmitted Diseases, is that right?

31:17🔗 Drew No, the Centers for Disease Control Conference on STDs.

31:21🔗 Adam Yeah, that must be fascinating.

31:22🔗 Guest Sounds dangerous around there.

31:23🔗 Drew But for Andy, though, speed would be the ingredient that would make sense of what he's doing.

31:27🔗 Adam All right.

31:28🔗 Drew That's what people do when they're on speed.

31:29🔗 Adam Let's talk to Jose, who's 18. Jose.

31:33🔗 Guest Hello?

31:33🔗 Adam What's up?

31:34🔗 Guest Hey, what's up? My question is, well, it's because I've been, like, you know, kind of seen some stripper and I'm with, uh, like someone that I have a kid with. And I want to know, like, should I tell her about this or, you know, or should I keep it to myself?

31:58🔗 Adam Well, why don't you see if you're going to have a kid with this stripper and then see if you can start dating a third and then maybe impregnate that person. Yeah, even it out. Yeah, just kind of keep moving forward. Seems like you're stagnating with the same stripper and only one kid at 18.

32:12🔗 Guest Maybe move to Utah, too, because then it'll be a lot easier.

32:16🔗 Adam What is the relationship that you have with the woman who is the mother of your child?

32:21🔗 Guest Um, we're boyfriend and girlfriend right now.

32:23🔗 Adam I see.

32:24🔗 Guest She's a student and I work in the laboratory in a medical hospital.

32:29🔗 Adam I see. And, um, can just have sex with cadavers or...

32:33🔗 Drew That's true.

32:33🔗 Adam Uh, and what do you do at the lab? Do you, would you recommend eating a frog that had been soaked in formaldehyde?

32:40🔗 Guest Uh, right now, I'm just, um, doing specimens, you know, blood samples and all that stuff.

32:46🔗 Adam Yeah, it's a good time. And, uh, do you plan on marrying your girlfriend?

32:50🔗 Guest Uh, I think, I don't know.

32:53🔗 Drew You have a kid. Why not, why not create a family?

32:56🔗 Guest If I'm actually, like, you know, messing up on her and I, you know, it's like, maybe I don't, like, really, like, kind of enjoy her or something. I don't know.

33:04🔗 Drew Part of this, listen, Jose, part of this is being 18. Right, Adam? I mean, some of it is that he's, you know, this is why you don't get married and have kids at 18, because 18-year-old males just can't contain them.

33:16🔗 Adam I like Jose's line of logic, though. If I'm banging the stripper, it must be because I ain't into her.

33:21🔗 Drew Right.

33:22🔗 Adam So, yeah, I mean, you use your penis like a divining rod, you know? I mean, you help it find love.

33:29🔗 Guest Yeah, I'm sure it won't steer you wrong.

33:31🔗 Adam No. I mean, you can't argue with the math. You're banging someone else. You can't be in love.

33:36🔗 Guest Yeah, and he probably is not sexually satisfied by his girlfriend. He had the child with, and he has to look somewhere else. I mean, well, and he's in his 18 and you should never, you know, and you should never get married until at least 30.

33:50🔗 Guest Come on, because you're 18. I mean, I'm 29. And when you when you when you turn 29, I mean, then, you know, stripper, schmipper, I mean, you don't care.

33:58🔗 Drew You just wait to die.

33:59🔗 Adam That's right.

34:01🔗 Guest I don't know. I have a question for you. Did you use a condom when you were at the stripper? No, because that's kind of you are an asshole. Yeah, it's kind of mean if, you know, if she gave you something, they take it back to your child's mother. That's really not right.

34:13🔗 Guest But yeah, I don't know. I haven't. I want to go get a test or something. But like I haven't like really could you have to make an appointment or? Yeah.

34:21🔗 Adam Yeah. Now, you got to pick up the phone. Then there's the dialing. It's so overwhelming.

34:27🔗 Guest Just too much.

34:27🔗 Guest It's like because after like, you know, I first did that or something. It's like I was like kind of like shook in or something. I was like, oh, man, you know, I feel bad about it. Yeah.

34:40🔗 Drew I care about your girlfriend.

34:41🔗 Guest I was like, damn, like, you know, what did I do? You know?

34:45🔗 Drew Yeah. I think this is just 18 year old stuff. You know, I really do. I think you had to recommit yourself to your girlfriend, realize that you're 18 and you had a child at a very young age, but now you've got some responsibilities. You got to live up to and start steering right. Just stay on course.

35:00🔗 Adam All right. Why don't you, you have a, you have a girl or a son? I have a boy. Okay. I always like it when they have girls. Cause it's like, to me, it's either, are they going to be strippers? Are they going to be criminals? You know, I've always vote for crimp, for stripper. Yeah. Or jugs. Can we get them on a trampoline? Or are they going to roll me at an ATM? Yeah.

35:20🔗 Guest Probably the ATM.

35:21🔗 Adam All right. Hey, Jose, please take care of this kid. I don't know where your parents are. I don't know if they did you wrong, but don't, don't do your kid wrong. You got to be a good dad. Would you please? I'm trying to, you know. Well, try a little harder. Okay. Which I know, I know it's a, it's, it's a big job for you and sometimes you, you bang a stripper too, but let's see if you can really focus just a little bit more. Calista?

35:46🔗 Uh, yes.

35:47🔗 Adam Yeah. He's trying as hard as he can. I can see that. He's committed. Calista, you're 20.

35:53🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

35:54🔗 Adam What's up?

35:55🔗 Caller Okay. I have a question. Um, um, I've had experience, well, a couple of experiences as a girl before, about maybe a year ago for maybe about two years or so. And that was just the best friend of mine. Nobody, you know, nobody I just met. And I'm not going to do it again. I'm not interested. I don't look at girls. I, I'm, I consider myself straight and I'm going to marry a guy, but I want to know if I'm considered a bisexual.

36:20🔗 Adam Yes.

36:20🔗 Caller I do that in the past.

36:21🔗 Adam In the eyes of God and your parents, you are, yes.

36:24🔗 Caller Just curious.

36:25🔗 Drew Yeah, curious, curious, curious. Experimental, experimental.

36:27🔗 Caller Yeah, it was all just curiosity and just experience.

36:30🔗 Guest I'll need to see pictures before I can make the final judgment.

36:34🔗 Caller I mean, I don't look at girls. I don't, I don't even, I don't, to me, telling the truth, to think about it, it disgusts me, you know? But I mean, and the girl I did with was just my best friend. That's just something that happened. That's outrage.

36:45🔗 Drew That's outrage.

36:47🔗 Guest I look at girls. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I do look at women. I appreciate the beauty in women. And I mean, I wouldn't necessarily go for one, but I mean, if I see a beautiful woman, I, you know.

36:57🔗 Caller Well, me too, I understand. But I wouldn't even think of like doing anything like before. You know what I mean? And the only reason I did do it with that girl is because she was my best friend. I was like seventh grade. We even thought about doing anything now. And when we got to college, you know, it was just like not just kissing. It was like everything.

37:13🔗 Drew Adam, does hearing these two talk make you like a little bit scared in some way? A little bit fearful? Wait, no, no, listen. It's that freedom that women have. Like, yeah, whatever. I'll do this.

37:23🔗 Adam Yeah, whatever. Well, that's the same. I remember Vince DiGiacomo from the football team. I wasn't attracted to him, but he was such a hell of a linebacker. I had to blow the guy.

37:33🔗 Guest Wait, you guys are telling me you've never looked at a man who was, you know, muscular and said, you know, he has a really nice body.

37:39🔗 Adam Yes. Yes. Doug DeLuca is his name. He looks on the man show. I've seen him in Less Than a Bathing Suit.

37:47🔗 Drew I think guys look at that and they go, jeez, I got to look like that.

37:51🔗 Adam Yeah. You know, guys do, guys transfer everything or translate everything into pussy. That's what they do. They see a guy with washboard abs. He must get a ton of pussy. They see a guy pulls up in a Ferrari. They don't necessarily want the Ferrari. They want the pussy that comes along with the Ferrari. That's what everything gets translated. Yeah, look at that guy. Jesus Christ, you just signed that. Oh, $3 million a year contract. That's a lot of tail. Man, that is a ton of tail. That guy's so hot looking, he must get a lot of boon tag.

38:18🔗 Guest And then if you see a guy with a lot of girls, you just think, but what a guy.

38:23🔗 Drew A guy does not go-

38:23🔗 Adam We like the hypothetical tail, but not the actual real life tail.

38:27🔗 Drew But a guy would never go, oh, he's so attractive. I'm attracted to him. No. Unless he's gay.

38:32🔗 Caller But you appreciate what he's worked for.

38:34🔗 Adam No. No, we don't appreciate guys. We look at them as a competition that must be killed off.

38:40🔗 Guest Oh, Adam, you don't have any competition.

38:42🔗 Adam That's right. Well, I'm the king. But some of my subjects-

38:44🔗 Guest Silence.

38:47🔗 Adam Vanessa, you ever been with a lady?

38:49🔗 Guest Uh, what time of the day?

38:52🔗 Adam Because I know you're a sexual person. You enjoy-

38:56🔗 Guest Really? How do you know?

38:58🔗 Adam You got a certain energy about you. I don't know if anyone's ever told you that. But, I mean, you seem to appreciate everyone in a physical way.

39:07🔗 Guest I'm just an all-around nice person.

39:09🔗 Adam Really?

39:09🔗 Guest Did you hear the silence when you asked that question? Like, everyone just kind of stopped and stared at you? Like, what's the answer here to that?

39:15🔗 Adam Yeah. Could we jack off to this? I'm sure. I'm going, yes.

39:19🔗 Guest Yeah, well, yeah, we figured out no problem.

39:20🔗 Guest Put your hands back up on the table.

39:21🔗 Guest Oh, sorry.

39:22🔗 Guest Okay.

39:23🔗 Adam So, Vanessa, is it yes or no with the ladies?

39:26🔗 Guest I've never actually been with a woman. I mean, you know, you.

39:30🔗 Adam But you're attracted to some of them.

39:31🔗 Guest I'm not necessarily attracted to some of them. It's just I appreciate, you know, a good looking woman.

39:36🔗 Adam It wouldn't be. It wouldn't be.

39:37🔗 Guest I've kissed one before there.

39:39🔗 Adam It wouldn't be. It wouldn't be to be with one.

39:43🔗 Guest To be with one? No, they're too feminine for me.

39:45🔗 Adam Oh, women?

39:46🔗 Caller Yes.

39:46🔗 Guest I like a strap.

39:47🔗 Caller Huh?

39:48🔗 Guest Yeah.

39:50🔗 Adam No, you like a man, right?

39:52🔗 Guest I like the aggression. Yeah, the aggressive.

39:55🔗 Adam Right. Like a little ass-slap, a little rough trade. Well, that's what Drew calls it.

40:00🔗 Guest No, no whips and chains and stuff like that. But I mean, men are more masculine than...

40:04🔗 Adam You want to know who's in charge in the bedroom.

40:07🔗 Guest Right. But sometimes I like to, also, so...

40:09🔗 Adam Right. Right.

40:11🔗 Caller All right.

40:12🔗 Adam And again, you like me better than Jimmy, right?

40:14🔗 Guest Oh, of course.

40:16🔗 Adam All right.

40:16🔗 Guest Are we going to party?

40:17🔗 Adam Yeah. We're going to take one more call here. Drew, you got one picked out? And why don't we talk to Barry over here? Barry, you're 19.

40:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:25🔗 Adam What's up?

40:25🔗 Caller I want to know who I can talk to about becoming a porn star.

40:30🔗 Adam Oh, you're a guy?

40:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:32🔗 Adam You want to do straight porn? Oh, yeah.

40:34🔗 Caller Just straight porn pretty much.

40:36🔗 Adam Yeah. Just want to... Just the good looking chicks? Just the good looking women?

40:40🔗 Caller Um, as long as they're clean and, yeah, decent looking.

40:44🔗 Adam I see. There should be a number, I think, in the front of the phone book. Underneath, I think they have the capacity of the forum, they have a seating chart for the Staples Center, and then it's how to get into porn for 19-year-old dudes.

40:58🔗 Caller I tried, man. I didn't see nothing.

41:00🔗 Guest Really?

41:00🔗 Adam Nothing there?

41:01🔗 Guest There are actually... There's agencies, like in Hollywood, you can go to.

41:05🔗 Drew Not every guy.

41:06🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:07🔗 Guest No, there... I think there are.

41:08🔗 Adam Well, you're supposed to. Well, listen.

41:10🔗 Guest That's what I heard.

41:11🔗 Guest Isn't it fairly easy to get into porn?

41:13🔗 Adam It is. It would be for you.

41:15🔗 Guest But they'll ask you to take a picture naked.

41:17🔗 Adam For us, there would be a huge... It would be like we would have to run the gauntlet of penises before we got to the first vagina. It would be like one of those NFL, one of those NFL training camp maneuvers where there's just a whole bunch of penises in a row that we'd have to get all the way across to get to the vagina at the end because as a guy, you... I hear you have to bring a woman in if you want to get in.

41:42🔗 Guest The big thing is like your size and can you perform?

41:45🔗 Adam How's your size?

41:47🔗 Guest It's decent.

41:48🔗 Guest Can you have sex with ten people in the room?

41:51🔗 Guest Yeah, it doesn't bother me.

41:52🔗 Guest Alright, give me a call.

41:53🔗 Drew Barry, aren't there other things you... Making that kind of a choice with your life is something you don't really sort of turn back from. I mean, there are a lot of things you will not be able to do.

42:03🔗 Adam Oh, please, look at Peter North. I mean, he did... Oh yeah, he's still doing porn. That's right. Okay, good point there, Drew. Well, Ron Jeremy is branched off into other things like selling dildos and things like that. I mean...

42:18🔗 Guest Appearing on The Man Show.

42:19🔗 Adam Yes, he's been on The Man Show in a porn related sketch.

42:22🔗 Guest Hey, that's...

42:24🔗 Guest I'm very proud of him.

42:25🔗 Adam He's still spreading himself out a little bit. I think he was on an episode of that Don Johnson series, or maybe that was Cheech Marin. I don't know who that was. All right, Drew, you ready to take a break? Yeah. Hey, buddy, how about you get it together over there?

42:43🔗 Drew No, I'm worried about Barry. I just... I don't know. What do you say to a kid like that?

42:47🔗 Adam Tell him to go ahead. Just put the condom on. I mean, I don't think he's going to get in... You know what he's going to do? You know our listeners. They smoke so much weed, they have difficulty motivating. He's going to go out, look around. If he doesn't get in a porn movie in the first 10 minutes, he's going to go back in and have another bong load and watch more TV. He'll never break into it.

43:06🔗 Drew Another case in point for the virtues of pod.

43:08🔗 Adam That's right. That's right. And for guys, it's easy to get into the gay porn, but well, Drew could do an hour on that.

43:18🔗 Drew It wasn't easy.

43:20🔗 Adam No, it was not.

43:21🔗 Guest All right.

43:21🔗 Adam We will take ourselves a little bit of a break. We'll be back and we'll hear the famous Vanessa from The Man Show song after this.

43:31🔗 Drew Hello? Is this Loveline?

43:33🔗 Guest Call 1-800-LOVE-1-DINE-1. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

43:57🔗 Guest This is the show known as Loveline. With your host, Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

44:10🔗 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. Dr. Drew is over there in a beautiful Milwaukee. He's got his flam-out. He's had a cup of coffee. He's rededicated himself to the show, right, Drew?

44:21🔗 Drew I've never, I've always been dedicated. I don't need to rededicate myself.

44:25🔗 Adam All right. Well, just get your priorities straight. All right. No Forcefield is the name of the band made up of a handful of Primus members. Vanessa is here. Vanessa, the loveliest of all the juggies is in the studio. And what is the connection, you say? Well, No Forcefield has written a song called Vanessa from The Man Show. They happened to either like The Man Show or be incredible marketing geniuses knowing they would be on the show. Being able to plug.

44:54🔗 Guest Odds are pretty much against it. Figuring that one out. If you just picture me on my couch watching The Man Show, you would say yes, marketing genius.

45:04🔗 Adam You guys are big fans of The Man Show.

45:06🔗 Guest Absolutely.

45:07🔗 Guest Do you always drink beer when you watch it?

45:08🔗 Guest No.

45:09🔗 Guest Oh, then that's not.

45:10🔗 Guest Okay.

45:12🔗 Guest I'm just saying that in case.

45:13🔗 Guest Just kidding.

45:14🔗 Adam Arj and Larry are both here from the band. All right. Yes, Vanessa, you want to say something?

45:20🔗 Guest Yes. I actually have something for you, Doug. I mean, Doug, Adam.

45:26🔗 Adam We're all in love with that Doug DeLuca. We really are.

45:28🔗 Guest Doug DeLuca, I can't stop thinking about him.

45:30🔗 Drew Adam, you remind her of Doug.

45:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

45:34🔗 Guest Because Adam's the man, that's why.

45:36🔗 Adam No, it's because we both sweat profusely.

45:38🔗 Drew And weigh 300 pounds.

45:40🔗 Guest I don't have to weigh 300 pounds. Anyways, I have something from my website for Adam.

45:44🔗 Adam Doug Ainsbury, he's 285, 300. How dare you?

45:49🔗 Guest Doug what are you?

45:50🔗 Adam Yes, go ahead, Vanessa. I'm sorry.

45:51🔗 Guest Actually, I have something for you, Adam, from my website.

45:54🔗 Adam I see. Oh, is it a poster?

45:56🔗 Guest Yes, it is. It's from-

45:57🔗 Guest Great for radio.

45:58🔗 Guest Yes, vanessak.com. That's spelled K-A-Y. And here you go, Adam. Look, if you open it up, I'll even show you. Watch, hold the corners.

46:06🔗 Guest All right.

46:08🔗 Guest And I'll give you a little-

46:09🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

46:10🔗 Guest Yeah. The further back you stand, the more you can see.

46:13🔗 Adam Really?

46:14🔗 Guest Yeah.

46:15🔗 Adam Wow. Wow. That's you? Jesus Christ. And that's a great crotch shot. Was that Doug's idea? Oh, geez. I don't know. Oh, my God. That is great.

46:26🔗 Guest I have one more thing for you and for you guys, too.

46:28🔗 Guest Really?

46:29🔗 Guest Yeah.

46:29🔗 Guest This is a good day.

46:30🔗 Guest And there you go. A little-

46:32🔗 Adam Is that you, too? Holy Christ. This is great. Yeah. Drew, see, you should have shown up tonight. You could have had some great stuff not to bring home.

46:42🔗 Guest If you see this picture, you're missing out.

46:44🔗 Guest And here's one for you.

46:45🔗 Adam Wow. This is, like I said, looks fantastic and fantastic radio. The poster is Vanessa sitting up on a sink with her legs akimbo. And it's really, it's as much crotch as I've seen in a poster in a long time. And she's smoking and this is great.

47:03🔗 Guest And you can see the adolescent book right next to it. See the little child adolescent book right there.

47:06🔗 Guest She's wearing white socks. I think you should mention that.

47:08🔗 Guest Yes, the white socks that are somewhat see-through.

47:11🔗 Adam Every man's dream. Yeah, this is spectacular. Thank you very much, Vanessa.

47:16🔗 Guest Oh, Adam, you are more than welcome.

47:17🔗 Guest And that poster right there, if you look at it, that describes exactly why we have named the song. Yeah, that describes it.

47:23🔗 Adam You two are geniuses. All right, so let's hear the song. We've waited long enough. Now, there's no lyrics in this song because I was expecting to hear you guys shouting a course of Vanessa from The Man Show.

47:37🔗 Guest Well, you know, like, well, we're going to work out for the next one. It's going to be a part two now that we've actually made it this far.

47:44🔗 Adam It was originally entitled Cathy Lee from the Cathy Lee Regis Show, but then she dropped out.

47:50🔗 Guest Yeah, it's been around a while, this track.

47:51🔗 Adam And now it was time to come on Loveline. So they renamed it Vanessa from The Man Show. This is from No Forcefield and goes a little something like this. That is Vanessa from the Man Show. I just heard Larry saying he was drunk when he made that.

49:54🔗 Guest I wasn't drunk, I was drinking.

49:56🔗 I see, there's a difference.

49:57🔗 Adam He was high, that was different. We have Larry and Arch both here. Larry formerly of, oh wait a minute, Larry, you're from Primus, right? I got that figured out. Yes, I'm sorry, Arch.

50:09🔗 Guest I'm sorry, I was just gonna say I was in a lesser known band, the Infidel Castros, and I was also in the Schweinhunds for a little while. Thank you, I mean, I know Primus is big.

50:20🔗 Adam Drew is a big Schweinhunds fan, weren't you, Drew?

50:23🔗 Guest Oh, late 80s, San Francisco, early 80s, early 80s.

50:25🔗 Guest He's always trying to one up me.

50:27🔗 Adam Yeah, I know early 80s, Drew didn't get in until mid-late 80s.

50:30🔗 Guest I would get overshadowed by his damn Primus.

50:33🔗 Adam No Forcefield's name in the band now, Vanessa Kay is here from the Fabulous Man Show, one of the loveliest yuggies, and we'll take a break, we'll be back after this.

51:02🔗 Guest You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

51:28🔗 Adam This is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there in Milwaukee, Wisconsin tonight. He'll be in the studio tomorrow night. Also, we got Natalie Rotano coming in here a little bit later on this week. And here, Drew Minka is coming in.

51:46🔗 Drew Minka and Mark McGrath coming in too.

51:48🔗 Adam That's right, from Sugar Ray. So lots of good people coming up tonight. We have Larry Arge and Vanessa, Vanessa the, Juggie Vanessa as we know her from The Man Show. No Forcefield is the name of the band. And, Drew, you ready to go?

52:05🔗 Drew I need you to pick a call because I'm a little computer glitch going here.

52:09🔗 Adam All right. Let's see. Let's talk to, it's going to line three. I see the word orgy here. Hassim, Hassim.

52:19🔗 Guest How's it going?

52:21🔗 Adam Good.

52:22🔗 Guest Yeah.

52:23🔗 Guest Vanessa, I love you.

52:24🔗 Guest Oh, my God.

52:25🔗 Guest I used to whack off to you a couple of times.

52:27🔗 Adam Right.

52:28🔗 Guest Yeah, but I have some bumps in my penis, so I can't do that no more.

52:31🔗 Drew Some what?

52:32🔗 Guest I have my bumps in my penis, I can't do that no more.

52:35🔗 Guest Those are your balls.

52:37🔗 Adam Are they under your penis?

52:38🔗 Guest No, they're around the penis, around the head.

52:41🔗 Adam I see.

52:42🔗 Guest Yeah, I had some major problems in that orgy.

52:45🔗 Drew Curly cow papules.

52:46🔗 Adam You had yourself an orgy, did you?

52:48🔗 Guest Yes, I did.

52:49🔗 Adam When was that?

52:51🔗 Guest That was two weeks ago.

52:52🔗 Adam And how, who was in it?

52:55🔗 Guest It was four guys and two girls.

52:58🔗 Adam Fantastic.

52:59🔗 Guest Yeah, it was pretty cool. I was in top of one, the four guys were in top of each other. It was pretty great. But the problem is that I have these bumps, and I want to know how, how could it really affect me? And what do they look like? They're like little small bumps around the head.

53:15🔗 Adam I see, but wait a second, I want to get back to this orgy. First off, that sounds like a gang rape. That doesn't sound like an orgy.

53:23🔗 Guest No, there wasn't no gang rape.

53:25🔗 Adam Two girls and you and three other guys?

53:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:28🔗 Adam I see. And you had one girl to yourself?

53:31🔗 Caller Yeah, I had one to myself.

53:33🔗 Adam And then the other three guys were with the one girl?

53:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:37🔗 Adam I would have never let that kind of math go down if I was there.

53:40🔗 Those numbers are working now.

53:41🔗 Guest That was pretty bad, huh?

53:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

53:43🔗 Guest That's not an orgy. That's just a lack of privacy.

53:46🔗 Adam Yeah. It's you banging your girlfriend while three other guys rape their friend.

53:50🔗 Guest Right.

53:51🔗 Drew It's still gang rape again.

53:52🔗 Adam On the cot next to yours.

53:53🔗 Drew It's back to gang rape.

53:54🔗 Guest It doesn't matter. I hit it the next day. But it was pretty fantastic, though.

53:58🔗 Adam I see. Now, did you have sex with both the girls?

54:01🔗 Guest I had sex with both the girls at the beginning.

54:04🔗 Caller But then I got tired of the other one.

54:06🔗 Guest So I let the other two or three guys take over that one. So I was in top of the one. I was really... Very off a gun.

54:12🔗 Adam Yes, I'm done with this one. She smells. Fellas have had it.

54:16🔗 Guest Not really.

54:17🔗 Adam I see. It was pretty fantastic. And where did you meet these girls?

54:20🔗 Guest I met them in school. Oh, I graduated this year.

54:23🔗 Adam I see. You met them in high school? Yeah. Oh my God. Fantastic. Is that a prep school or a religious school?

54:30🔗 Guest No, it's a prep school.

54:31🔗 Adam I see.

54:32🔗 Caller Yeah. Really?

54:35🔗 Adam This is what your parents pay for tuition and this is what their girls get?

54:39🔗 Guest Not really.

54:40🔗 Adam Oh, I see. All right. So you have bumps on your penis now that you picked up from the orgy?

54:45🔗 Guest Yes. Yes.

54:47🔗 Adam How do you know you got it from this encounter?

54:49🔗 Guest Because I'm looking at them right now.

54:50🔗 Guest Oh, I don't know.

54:52🔗 Guest It's just a problem after that. I wasn't with no bumps. Turns out after two weeks, I have bumps.

54:57🔗 Drew Are they painful?

54:58🔗 Guest They're not painful at all. They're just little struggles around it. The head and all that. They're real small. Real small.

55:06🔗 Drew I guess it's warts. That would be the most likely thing. Just little fleshy bumps that don't hurt. That would be warts, to put it another way. Yeah.

55:13🔗 Adam Just burn them off with a cigarette. No problem.

55:16🔗 Guest How would you get those off if that's what...

55:19🔗 Drew Well, warts never go away. Once you get them, you got them first. Well, there's theories that certain subtypes of the ward virus will go away after about five years. But basically once you have them, you have to assume you have them forever. And for women, they can increase the risk of cervical cancer against certain of the ward viruses. And it's really important to get lots of screening. The guys, they just remain contagious. Although it is being thought of now as the cause of anal cancer also.

55:47🔗 Guest Yeah.

55:48🔗 Adam Yeah. So your days of corn-holing your buddies are over, Haseem.

55:55🔗 I can't believe it.

55:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

55:56🔗 Guest It's rough.

55:57🔗 Guest I can't tell my mother about this. I have to go to the doctor.

56:00🔗 Adam Well, you don't have to tell your mom.

56:02🔗 Guest Yeah. Well, I know.

56:03🔗 Guest Unless she drives him.

56:05🔗 Adam I was saying last night on the show, you know how they have these mafia doctors, guy gets a shift put in him or shot. He doesn't want to go into the hospital because he doesn't want so many questions asked, police report made, so on and so forth. They have mafia doctors for this. How about, you know, orgy, basically, sex doctors? You know what I mean? You don't want your folks finding out what went on, you got some problems downstairs, you don't want to spread all over the place, you don't want to see anybody you know, maybe it's a small town. Shouldn't there be a sex doctor who's sort of equivalent to the mafia doctor, no questions asked, you pay in cash?

56:40🔗 Guest Yeah, it's an alley, you have to go to an alley to get to the place.

56:43🔗 Adam That's right, that's right. A dark alley. Not one of those well-lit alleys you hear about, but a dark one. All right, Drew, you don't have that screen over there?

56:53🔗 Drew Not yet.

56:54🔗 Adam All right.

56:54🔗 Drew About one minute away.

56:56🔗 Adam All right, well, let's talk to James over here. He says he masturbates ten times a day, James.

57:02🔗 Drew Nice.

57:02🔗 Caller Hi, how are you?

57:04🔗 Drew Separated birth.

57:05🔗 Adam You're 17, what's up?

57:07🔗 Caller Yeah, I was wondering, I have a urge to masturbate, like a lot. I see.

57:15🔗 Drew That would make you male.

57:17🔗 Caller All day, I masturbate.

57:19🔗 Caller Right.

57:20🔗 Adam And by the way, you know, hold on a second, you know, when people make fun of me and my job, it's James who they do their impersonation of. They go, how do you feel? How do you look in the mirror? Do you ever think you'd be 36 years old and you'd be sitting around every night behind a microphone with some jerk off, calling up, going, hey, I whack off 10 times a day. This is the call. This is the one they all cite. This is what this is the one they use is evidence to make fun of me.

57:48🔗 Caller Hello.

57:50🔗 Guest It's a good choice.

57:51🔗 Adam No, we know you're serious. Yeah.

57:54🔗 Guest So is that normal?

57:56🔗 Drew How many times a day?

57:58🔗 Guest Well, let's say, well, maybe about like five.

58:03🔗 Adam Five? No, that's not normal. That's a little light, I think. I'd like to see up around 8 or 12.

58:09🔗 Guest What about you, Adam? I mean, do you have a record? Do you guys have a record?

58:12🔗 Adam Yeah. When I was 17, I was probably at about five.

58:16🔗 Caller Yeah, really?

58:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

58:17🔗 Drew Really?

58:17🔗 Adam Yeah.

58:19🔗 I had another question.

58:22🔗 Caller I also don't have a girlfriend yet.

58:25🔗 Adam That's shocking. Huh? We're flabbergasted.

58:29🔗 Guest When do you have time to look for one?

58:32🔗 Adam Forget about time. It's motivation. Yeah. So it's like saying, you know, I eat a 10-course meal every night and never been to a buffet. Yeah, of course. You're stuffed when you leave the house. You're not looking for any restaurants.

58:45🔗 Guest Yeah.

58:46🔗 Adam This is what happens. You lose your chi. This is your motivation.

58:50🔗 Guest It's true. It's true.

58:53🔗 Adam No, but you guys, you guys know the difference between talking. Like if you haven't jacked off in a week and your mom calls, you're like, well, what are you wearing? I mean, you're not you're not seriously thinking about it, but it's like your brain's a little backed up. Yeah, it's a little backed up. But if you just jacked off, it doesn't it doesn't matter who calls.

59:13🔗 Guest It's like, should I go look for a chick or, you know, Doritos in the late night movie?

59:18🔗 Adam Right, right.

59:19🔗 Guest Doritos are probably going to win out.

59:20🔗 Adam All right. So, James, I bet if you stopped if you stopped masturbating obsessively, you'd get a girlfriend.

59:27🔗 Caller Oh, I had another question, Adam.

59:29🔗 Adam Yeah, you got a lot of questions.

59:31🔗 Guest Last one, last one.

59:32🔗 Not last one.

59:33🔗 Guest Hello?

59:34🔗 Drew Yes.

59:35🔗 Caller I smoke about 20 sacks every two days.

59:39🔗 Guest Is that like where I've been doing that for about two years?

59:42🔗 What is that going to catch up with me later?

59:46🔗 Adam Oh boy, what's the F word? What's he smoke 20 after? 20 sacks? What's that? I have no idea. Listen, James, whatever you're doing, stop doing it. That's my advice to James.

59:57🔗 Guest And find a girlfriend.

59:58🔗 Guest If you smoke marijuana, that also affects your motivation too, and makes you a little less social in the long run. And so that, coupled with the obsessive masturbation.

1:00:07🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:00:08🔗 Drew And I wonder if anything happened to make him truly a sexual compulsive.

1:00:12🔗 Adam Well, I have five times a day at 17. That's not all. You guys write five times at 17.

1:00:17🔗 Guest I remember three once before I got out of bed in the morning.

1:00:19🔗 Adam Oh, wow.

1:00:21🔗 Guest How did that take you?

1:00:23🔗 Guest Not that long. I don't know. Two minutes?

1:00:24🔗 Guest No, just kidding.

1:00:26🔗 Guest I was just on a roll that day. And it was unstoppable. It was years ago, though.

1:00:31🔗 Adam Sometimes when the clouds part and the planets align just right, you have one of those hat tricks where you even roll out of bed.

1:00:40🔗 Guest Number four just stands and comes out.

1:00:42🔗 Adam That's right.

1:00:43🔗 Guest So it doesn't really count.

1:00:44🔗 Adam It's like someone broke an hourglass in your underpants.

1:00:47🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:00:48🔗 Guest You've been there too?

1:00:49🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:00:49🔗 Guest A comb and a dime come out. I've been looking for these.

1:00:53🔗 Adam Your penis becomes a vending machine at a prison.

1:00:56🔗 Drew As long as we're on the topic of male emissions, let's keep going. This is Alan. It's 25.

1:01:00🔗 Adam Alan?

1:01:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:03🔗 Adam What's up?

1:01:06🔗 Caller When I come, it's like it's not a normal color anymore. It's like for like the last two months, it's like a brownish color.

1:01:13🔗 Guest Yeah, yeah. The next one's going to be same.

1:01:16🔗 Drew Brown is usually old blood. So it would be worthwhile seeing a doctor about that.

1:01:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:01:23🔗 Drew Blood in the semen is not that big a deal, believe it or not, but it's something worth looking into just to be sure.

1:01:28🔗 Adam It should be a bigger deal.

1:01:29🔗 Guest Now, Drew, what happens if your semen is blue?

1:01:32🔗 Drew Blue?

1:01:32🔗 Guest That's punk rock.

1:01:34🔗 Guest All right.

1:01:34🔗 Drew It means there's been a hex on your ass.

1:01:38🔗 Caller Would it have anything to do with, like could I have gotten something for my ex-girlfriend or?

1:01:43🔗 Drew Yeah, it's possible, but more likely, one of the more common causes of this actually is just a broken blood vessel, that kind of thing. And they can be infections and epidermitis and what not.

1:01:53🔗 Adam What STDs cause blood and semen?

1:01:57🔗 Drew Almost any of them can, but that not typically.

1:01:59🔗 Adam Well, why wouldn't it be one of those things?

1:02:01🔗 Drew Because that's not typically what they do. It's usually something even more benign than that. But it can occasionally be things like tumors and stuff, so it's always worth looking into.

1:02:10🔗 Adam Well, could it be from vigorous masturbation?

1:02:15🔗 Drew Is this a personal question?

1:02:16🔗 Adam Yeah, like when I used to rape that beanbag chair when I was in junior high?

1:02:21🔗 Drew Ever used to see my turn brown?

1:02:22🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, I mean when I really want to add it, like if I was popped up on a Mickey's Big Mouth and I had a real charge in me, maybe I just got done watching Speed Race or something, really go at it with a certain intensity.

1:02:35🔗 Drew It's usually broken blood vessel, broken vein, and that can be caused from vigorous activity, sure.

1:02:41🔗 Adam All right, so what should Alan do?

1:02:43🔗 Drew He ought to see a urologist just to be sure there's nothing going on here. It can also be caused by Epididymitis and that can be caused by Chlamydia. So yeah, you do need to worry about it possibly at STD.

1:02:51🔗 Caller Okay, because probably for like the last maybe four or five months, I've been having this like discharge too, just kind of like...

1:02:59🔗 Drew Alan, you should have brought that up in the first place. The fact that you haven't had that looked into, that's a very serious issue. You can end up with fertility problems and all kinds of chronic infections. You get that checked out now, right?

1:03:13🔗 Adam All right. See, let me tell you my strategy. If something brown came out of my penis, I would figure I got to work extra hard to get back to the white stuff. Like I get through that batch of brown. I got to push all the brown out of me, clear that blood. Like when you go to a cabin and you turn on the sink and that bad water comes out, what do you do? You let it run. You don't go run into the urologist. You let the water run until the good stuff comes out.

1:03:39🔗 Guest It's got to end eventually.

1:03:40🔗 Drew You figure, do the math. If some white pussy stuff blurted out of that sink, you aren't using it, period.

1:03:47🔗 Adam I see.

1:03:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:49🔗 Adam Well, Drew makes a valid point. Regina, Regina.

1:03:53🔗 Guest Regina, it's really true.

1:03:55🔗 Adam All right, I corrected myself immediately, didn't I?

1:03:58🔗 Guest Well, gracias. When I was 12 years old, I was raped by two men that I did not know and I don't know if they used condoms or whatever and I mean, I got an STD check.

1:04:10🔗 Drew Was it a violent rape, like some sort of awful crime?

1:04:13🔗 Guest Yeah. And I was born with it.

1:04:16🔗 Adam They used a Batacabat, Drew.

1:04:18🔗 Drew No, it wasn't somebody she knew that sort of, you know.

1:04:22🔗 Guest No.

1:04:23🔗 Adam Right, it wasn't our usual rape story. This is real rape, right?

1:04:26🔗 Guest This is real rape. This is a real thing.

1:04:28🔗 Adam That's right. Who were these guys? How did you run into them?

1:04:33🔗 Guest I was at a party at a really young, I mean, my brother brought me to a party and he was all, yeah, so he ended up leaving and I ended up staying with a few of my friends and apparently some of the guys there planned to do this and I just got to be the lucky subject basically.

1:04:48🔗 Adam Right, all right, I used to do those. We used to have two parties. We used to have the make-rent party where we get a big keg and we charge a buck fifty just, you know, around the 28th of the month and then at the first month we had that let's rape party which was a totally different sign by the way.

1:05:04🔗 Guest Unacceptable and different price as well.

1:05:05🔗 Adam Yeah, but it was free.

1:05:07🔗 Guest It was free.

1:05:09🔗 Adam All right, so these two, these guys were adult guys.

1:05:12🔗 Guest Um, I think, yeah, well they were 19 at the time and I was 12 so.

1:05:18🔗 Adam What the, and your brother left you at the party?

1:05:21🔗 Guest Yeah, well he was unaware that, you know, something like that was going to happen.

1:05:25🔗 Adam Yeah, but you, how old is your older brother?

1:05:28🔗 Guest He's, um, 20 now.

1:05:30🔗 Drew Yeah, four years older.

1:05:32🔗 Guest Why were you at a party?

1:05:33🔗 Adam So.

1:05:34🔗 Guest You know, I told him about it afterwards and of course you really regret it, but anyways, my question is, is that possible that it could desensitize you?

1:05:42🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, not physically, but emotionally, yeah.

1:05:45🔗 Guest Yeah, well, um, mostly sexually because I found that, you know, as a byproduct, the only reason why I had sex afterward is because to prove myself that it was better, that it could get better, you know.

1:05:56🔗 Drew Did you act out sexually a lot with a lot of different people for a while?

1:05:59🔗 Guest Um, five, that's all I've ever had.

1:06:03🔗 Drew Because a lot of young women, when they're raped, will then sort of go on a tear and they're trying to get control over that horror of the situation. And I have sex with lots of guys, even though they feel more shameful and more confused each time they do it. Nothing like that happen?

1:06:18🔗 Guest No, not really. I mean, if you know, like, you know, I'm a tramp and I go scare everybody.

1:06:24🔗 Adam Did you press charges?

1:06:25🔗 Guest You know, I tried to, but the boy's father is the police officer in our town. And the other guy has a bunch of, well, just a bunch of friends. You know what I mean? He's just kind of like the leader of his groupie or whatever you want to call it. And so there are two really hard people to, you know, get anything done to without having my tail whipped.

1:06:45🔗 Drew When you say sex doesn't mean anything, do you mean you don't feel anything at all? Or you don't have anything?

1:06:49🔗 Guest No, not physically, but not like emotionally. Like, you know, it doesn't mean anything to me. And I found that it's gotten me into a lot of trouble lately.

1:06:57🔗 Drew Why's that?

1:06:57🔗 Guest Because I ended up having sex with my ex-boyfriends who I really care about. His, basically his enemy and he didn't find out from me. He found out from somebody else and, you know, the S hit the fan. And so now-

1:07:14🔗 Drew What was your motivation?

1:07:15🔗 Adam How was it when chicks do that?

1:07:16🔗 Guest When you have sex with a guy you hate?

1:07:18🔗 Guest Yeah. It wasn't an impossible thing. You know, to do a dance and it's just when I get the mentality, you know, whenever I'm with a guy-

1:07:25🔗 Adam But you know, wait a minute, you don't like the guy and you know your boyfriend hates the guy.

1:07:29🔗 Drew And you don't get anything out of sex, so what did that do for you?

1:07:33🔗 Guest I just basically wanted to get off.

1:07:36🔗 Adam But you don't enjoy it.

1:07:38🔗 Guest Right. No, I do.

1:07:39🔗 Adam Do you have an orgasm, really?

1:07:40🔗 Guest Yeah, I did. But I mean, I enjoy it physically, but not like mentally. Like I don't have any remorse for whatever I do.

1:07:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:07:48🔗 Drew You got some stuff going on, Regina. Nothing ever happened to you before that rape?

1:07:53🔗 Guest No. Well, I've got some family issues, you know.

1:07:56🔗 Drew Like what?

1:07:57🔗 Guest My mother is manic depressive and she was in and out of my life when I was little. But it's not like, you know, anything like earth shattering.

1:08:05🔗 Drew Well, but that does cause some rather profound, can have some profound influences in your ability to connect with other people, empathize with other people.

1:08:15🔗 Guest Yeah. The problem is, the problem is, I mean, I'm, I mean, I know it sounds crazy, but you know, to say that you had sex with another person and still be in love with the person, but I'm really, really into this guy and he's moving away for a year. And we have, we had plans to get back together when he came back.

1:08:32🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:08:32🔗 Guest I can't do, you know, the long distance thing.

1:08:35🔗 Adam But hey, listen, you're not ready for any kind of relationship and he'll never...

1:08:39🔗 Guest I'm a little bit stereotypical. I mean, because I am young, doesn't mean I don't have any experience.

1:08:44🔗 Drew No, Regina, you got...

1:08:45🔗 Adam No, I just mean you're screwed up. You got too much experience. You've seen too much. Listen, we have a limited... Overload. We have a limited time on this show. We can't have pussy foot around. So forget about this guy. You screwed his best friend or his worst enemy, which is even worse. I don't know what is worse. I think the enemy. Yeah, absolutely. That's right. You can't get over that.

1:09:05🔗 Guest So there's no possible chance that he'd ever want me again?

1:09:07🔗 Adam I don't think so. He shouldn't. And if he did, he'd pay you back.

1:09:11🔗 Guest Did you get a rush out of having sex with his enemy?

1:09:13🔗 Guest What?

1:09:13🔗 Guest Did you get a little rush out of having sex with his enemy, the guy that he doesn't like?

1:09:17🔗 Guest Um, a little bit.

1:09:21🔗 Adam No, it's funny, but she uses the word enemy. I picture a zerg from the X-planet.

1:09:26🔗 Guest Yeah, like a flag with a sickle.

1:09:29🔗 Adam Yeah, that this guy's spaceship pulled up or something.

1:09:32🔗 Guest Like, okay, the guy that he doesn't like.

1:09:34🔗 Guest Right.

1:09:35🔗 Drew Regina, is there addiction in your family to alcoholism?

1:09:37🔗 Adam I put her on hold, but yes, yes, and yes. Right, Regina?

1:09:42🔗 Guest Well, thank you.

1:09:43🔗 Adam Yes.

1:09:43🔗 Drew Regina, is there addiction to alcoholism in your family also?

1:09:45🔗 Guest Honestly, no. My mom's just really cracked out, period. She was born that way.

1:09:49🔗 Drew Because some of that response, that using thrill in order to sort of feel, have positive feelings is an addict's behavior. Listen, you really have trouble with connecting with people. You seem very confused and sort of your wiring doesn't seem quite right about that. This is a great opportunity where therapy could do a lot for you.

1:10:08🔗 Guest I have been to counselors.

1:10:09🔗 Adam Good. Go get your money back.

1:10:13🔗 Drew For real.

1:10:14🔗 Adam Well, thank you. All right. Listen, just take care of yourself. And just, you don't have to act out. I mean, the thing about guys is, Lord knows I wanted to do some sexual acting out when I was 16. It's just I couldn't find anybody. I couldn't find anyone to act out on. But women have the choice. I mean, if they're freaky and they're screwed up and they're hell bent on doing some acting out, they'll always find a guy.

1:10:40🔗 Guest Yeah, it's not hard.

1:10:41🔗 Adam As a matter of fact, they could find five guys. Right now.

1:10:45🔗 Guest Right outside the door, probably.

1:10:46🔗 Adam That's right. That's right. You can go into any party, you can go to any bar, you can go to any arcade, you can go anywhere and find some guys who are willing to act out. And so you have to stop yourself. No one else is going to stop you. And Regina has got to govern herself a little better. Drew?

1:11:03🔗 Drew If you say so, Adam.

1:11:04🔗 Adam All right. Would you get back into this program, please, and hawk up whatever that loogie has been sitting in your gullet for so many hours now. Denver?

1:11:13🔗 Drew Days.

1:11:14🔗 Adam Yes. Is this Denver?

1:11:15🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:11:16🔗 Adam Denver, you're 19. What's up?

1:11:18🔗 Guest Hey, what's up? I don't jack off.

1:11:20🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, let's go to the next call, then. I'm not going to talk to a guy who doesn't jack off.

1:11:26🔗 Guest Maybe somebody can relate to you.

1:11:27🔗 Guest I don't trust him.

1:11:29🔗 Drew Denver, Adam was like that too until he was about, what, 16, 17?

1:11:33🔗 Adam 16. Yeah.

1:11:35🔗 Drew And then his friends were outraged.

1:11:36🔗 Adam Yeah. My friends.

1:11:37🔗 Drew And set up strays.

1:11:38🔗 Adam They forced me to jack off.

1:11:39🔗 Guest But there's always one guy that claims he doesn't and never has. No, no.

1:11:43🔗 Drew That was Adam. He didn't.

1:11:45🔗 Guest But he does too.

1:11:45🔗 Guest That's so false. I think every guy...

1:11:47🔗 Adam My friends make fun of me for not doing it. Yeah.

1:11:51🔗 Guest But this is just a ploy for you to keep trying to convince people that you don't.

1:11:55🔗 Drew Is there a reason you don't?

1:11:57🔗 Guest I just don't.

1:11:58🔗 Guest Do you get a lot of women?

1:11:59🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:12:00🔗 Guest You do?

1:12:00🔗 Guest I've never had sex.

1:12:02🔗 Adam You've never had sex?

1:12:03🔗 Guest No.

1:12:03🔗 Adam But you get tons of chicks. When you say get, what do you mean? What do we mean when we say get?

1:12:11🔗 Guest You mean sex.

1:12:13🔗 Guest Right.

1:12:14🔗 Adam Yeah. So you're a virgin?

1:12:17🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:12:17🔗 Adam And do you want to remain a virgin?

1:12:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:12:20🔗 Guest How come? Why?

1:12:22🔗 Guest Yeah. Just because.

1:12:24🔗 Adam I see. He's full of answers. Why don't you jack off? Doesn't know. Why does he want to remain a virgin? Just because.

1:12:31🔗 Guest Jacking off? I've never had the urge.

1:12:34🔗 Adam I understand.

1:12:35🔗 Guest All right.

1:12:35🔗 Adam You want us to send you out a windbreaker or something?

1:12:39🔗 Guest No.

1:12:40🔗 Drew Adam, you didn't have, you said you didn't have an urge either until your friends.

1:12:43🔗 Adam I had, I had urge. I just didn't have technique and I was coaxed into it at 16. I was actually forced to masturbate by my friends.

1:12:52🔗 Guest What's it feel like?

1:12:54🔗 Adam It feels like a thousand velvet fingers running down your scrotum.

1:12:59🔗 Drew You've never had a nocturnal emission either, never?

1:13:03🔗 Guest Your friends have velvet fingers though, don't they, Adam?

1:13:06🔗 Guest I've had a nocturnal emission.

1:13:07🔗 Adam Only 500, but when you do both hands, it goes to a thousand. Well, listen, how do you explain to a blind person what the color orange is? There you go.

1:13:18🔗 Guest Thank you.

1:13:18🔗 Adam Thank you. I understand. Okay. What's wrong with you? Are you religious? No. No, you're not religious.

1:13:26🔗 Guest Do you not want to have sex till you get married?

1:13:30🔗 Guest Yeah, that's it. I don't want to have sex until I'm married.

1:13:32🔗 Adam Why is that if you're not religious?

1:13:34🔗 Guest Bees and butt heads.

1:13:35🔗 Guest My parents are.

1:13:36🔗 Caller I was just raised that way.

1:13:38🔗 Adam So you're raised in a religious environment?

1:13:40🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:13:41🔗 Adam Okay. All right.

1:13:42🔗 Guest You know what?

1:13:42🔗 Adam Listen, screw him. Screw him. I'm tired of hoisting the guy's arm. Yeah. Yeah. Denver, I'll see you in hell.

1:13:49🔗 Guest Hey, I got one more thing.

1:13:50🔗 Adam All right. Oh, no. That's fantastic. Hey, hey, Drew? Yeah. Hey, Lauren, what's going on tonight? Every guy who's calling the show is a complete a-hole. Just idiots. I hate them all. I hate these guys. You want to know why I don't like people? This is why. These guys. Oh, don't you hate these guys?

1:14:06🔗 Drew I'm starting to feel it.

1:14:07🔗 Adam I got to give my a-hole speech. I swear to God, guys are such idiots. There's so many of them are just such idiots. I, you know, women complain constantly and I end up defending guys saying we're not all assholes, but we are.

1:14:19🔗 Drew They are, yeah.

1:14:20🔗 Adam These guys are... What's wrong with guys? But what's wrong with guys at 18 or 19? You know, why are they all such jackasses? I mean, we've had 15 call the show tonight and basically say nothing. Yeah, about 100%. No, Gio's on top of this chair.

1:14:35🔗 Guest They have the four other ones and the one on the bottom and a goat in the side.

1:14:38🔗 Adam Huh? Huh? Cause I feel like it? Cause I felt like it? I don't know. Look, don't call the show. I don't know if you don't know.

1:14:46🔗 Guest Yeah, you're blowing it for all of us really nice. Yes, that's right.

1:14:50🔗 Drew You're creating programming that massages and promotes this kind of behavior.

1:14:55🔗 Adam That's right. Vanessa, do you hear that? Drew said to massage my member. What did you say, Drew?

1:15:01🔗 Guest Come here, Adam. Come here.

1:15:02🔗 Adam John?

1:15:03🔗 Hello?

1:15:04🔗 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:15:05🔗 Caller Yes, I am. I'm a big fan of the Man Show, Adam.

1:15:09🔗 Guest Yay.

1:15:09🔗 Adam Finally.

1:15:10🔗 Caller Thank you. And I'm a very big fan. Big fan.

1:15:14🔗 Guest No, that wasn't me. I actually love that you said that. Have you seen the website yet?

1:15:19🔗 Caller No, I haven't, actually. Adam, I must say my favorite episode was the one with Snoop.

1:15:24🔗 Adam Yeah, everyone likes that episode.

1:15:26🔗 Guest Because they can relate.

1:15:27🔗 Adam Yeah, because we got the stone.

1:15:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:30🔗 Guest Wait, I thought that was an act.

1:15:32🔗 Adam Oh, no.

1:15:32🔗 Caller Oh, no.

1:15:33🔗 Adam Did you see them? Did you see? I was faked beyond belief.

1:15:37🔗 Guest No, you know what my favorite part was when Adam just kept on laughing about nothing. Nothing.

1:15:43🔗 Caller That's what it's all about. I know. It was hilarious.

1:15:45🔗 Guest That was great.

1:15:46🔗 Caller I loved it when you guys were watching TV and there was like absolutely nothing there.

1:15:50🔗 Adam I was so stoned. I don't even remember what went on that day.

1:15:53🔗 Guest All that stuff. Is his better than any? I mean.

1:15:55🔗 Adam Yeah, he's got great weed. He'd kill you if it was bad weed.

1:15:59🔗 Guest That's my main main main name.

1:16:01🔗 Adam He and Jimmy ate seven pieces of Kentucky Fried Chicken. You know, it's kind of a weird thing. Like, I don't want to get racist here. But you know, like when you ask a black guy, hey, what do you want to eat? And he goes, how about Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because we said to Snoop, what do you guys want to eat? And he's like, fried chicken. And we're like, we can't do that. Come on, people are going to think we're assholes. You know, I was like, I want Kentucky Fried Chicken. I'm like, all right. So I eat like, you know, 44 pieces of chicken. And Jimmy ate a bucket of extra crispy, a bucket of original, a bucket of barbecue, and then a bucket of just skin.

1:16:38🔗 Guest Yeah, the skin pile.

1:16:39🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. So wait a minute, let's get back to John over here. John?

1:16:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:44🔗 Adam All right, you have a question?

1:16:45🔗 Caller Yeah. I wanted to say to me, my roommates were shredding repus on the Gnar Gnar Rad. We're big Primus fans and we wanted to know if Primus was going to be appearing at Frog Brigade on New Year's. We're all planning on heading over there.

1:17:00🔗 Guest No, I mean, Primus itself is kind of taking a little break for a while. Everyone's doing other things for a while. I get to go on this here with Vanessa, that's what I'm doing. So to all you guys out there.

1:17:13🔗 Caller We also wanted to know what the meaning of the heckler was. There was any, like, how exactly was it that you came up with all that stuff, like, came up with the heckler, and just, like, what inspires you to write songs the way you guys do?

1:17:32🔗 Guest Um, I would say weed, but that would be kind of just dumb to say.

1:17:35🔗 Adam No, I mean, there's malt liquor, too, I mean, to be fair to the band.

1:17:39🔗 Guest It's very complex. Well, the heckler pretty much describes itself, you know, as the guy that comes and feels like Primus sucks.

1:17:47🔗 Adam All right, John.

1:17:48🔗 Caller One of our favorite songs.

1:17:49🔗 Adam Thanks, buddy.

1:17:50🔗 Caller All right, thanks a lot.

1:17:51🔗 Adam People watching that man show, 10 o'clock on Comedy Central, and you can find Juggie Vanessa there in all her glory, climbing a pole, spinning around.

1:17:59🔗 Guest Anything you want.

1:18:00🔗 Adam Doing everything and anything, and keeping men happy. You know what I like about Vanessa? She makes men feel good about being men. Absolutely. In a day and age when we're told not to enjoy our masculinity, Vanessa really, even if she doesn't mean a word of it, really makes you feel like a man.

1:18:19🔗 Guest Come on, I'm the nicest person you've ever met, Adam, okay?

1:18:22🔗 Adam That is true. And I'm your king, right?

1:18:24🔗 Guest Yes, you're my master, my king, everything.

1:18:26🔗 Adam Thank you. We'll be back. Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there in Milwaukee. No Forcefield is our guest tonight. Some members of Primus in that band. Vanessa is here from The Man Show. She is the number one juggy. And I hope the other juggies aren't listening. They're going to be upset. But Vanessa is the queen of all juggies. Larry and Arj are both here from the band. And Vanessa, you want to give your website out there?

1:19:31🔗 Guest Yes, it's www.vanessakay.com. And you can get everything you want. Anything you possibly want, it's on there.

1:19:40🔗 Guest I can dodge that. It's a very special place on the internet.

1:19:44🔗 Guest May I plug my website since we're on the subject?

1:19:46🔗 Adam Sure.

1:19:46🔗 Guest It's arjbarker.com. arjbarker.com. arjbarker.com.

1:19:52🔗 Adam Pictures of Vanessa on that?

1:19:53🔗 Guest No, but actually, I just added the ladies only section, which is very exciting for, obviously, the ladies.

1:20:01🔗 Adam Pictures of you and your underpants?

1:20:03🔗 Guest Well, it's ladies only, Adam.

1:20:05🔗 Adam Oh, I see. That's right.

1:20:06🔗 Guest I have a men's only on my website.

1:20:10🔗 Guest There's also a new animation thing on there, so it's cool to check it out. All right. I'm not trying to sell anything.

1:20:15🔗 Adam No.

1:20:15🔗 Guest But you can check it out.

1:20:16🔗 Adam Look and enjoy. Vanessa is, however, trying to sell things, right?

1:20:19🔗 Guest Oh, God.

1:20:20🔗 Guest Nothing wrong with it. What do you sell?

1:20:22🔗 Guest I have 8x10s, posters, calendars, videos.

1:20:26🔗 Guest Beer, cozies.

1:20:27🔗 Guest Oh, everything you need is on that website. I mean, it's pretty nice. It's new. I mean, we have all kinds of things that are coming up. I have my bio that's on there. Anything you want to know about me is on there. Um, I have membership. You know, if you become a member, you get free pictures and free other things that somebody who wasn't a member wouldn't get.

1:20:47🔗 Adam And you're close to naked on a lot of those pictures, right?

1:20:50🔗 Guest Yeah, actually the one in front of your face. What do you think about this one? I think I'm pretty naked right there.

1:20:56🔗 Guest The motto should be, if you have a member, become a member.

1:20:58🔗 Guest Right. If you're not a member, you're not a real man.

1:21:01🔗 Adam Luis, Luis, Luis.

1:21:04🔗 Caller Luis, guys.

1:21:05🔗 Adam You're 22, what's up?

1:21:06🔗 Caller Yeah, I have a problem here. A while ago, I was having sex with my girlfriend and I noticed that basically she had a genital wart and so she went to the doctor to see if that's what it was or if it was just a regular one or whatever. It turns out that it was a genital wart.

1:21:24🔗 Adam Well, if you have a wart on your hoo-ha, you got a genital wart, don't you? Well, I mean, do the math.

1:21:30🔗 Caller It was in like the pubic hair area, like right above it.

1:21:34🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:21:35🔗 Caller And so it turns out it was, but I don't have it. But I never use a condom or anything like that with her. I've been with her for a while.

1:21:43🔗 Drew Well, you gotta figure you've got it.

1:21:45🔗 Caller Well, you know, I've been checked and I don't have it.

1:21:49🔗 Drew How were you checked?

1:21:51🔗 Caller The free clinic.

1:21:52🔗 Drew No, no. You gotta assume you have the virus.

1:21:55🔗 Caller All right, well, here's the, I got a question.

1:21:57🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute, Drew. Why bother checking if everyone just assumes they have it?

1:22:03🔗 Drew Because if there's something there, you should have it taken off because they can proliferate. You're more infectious and they can really multiply.

1:22:09🔗 Adam Can't you see it? There's no way of detecting the wart if you don't see a wart. And what about-

1:22:14🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we did it to you.

1:22:15🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying. I got a gallon of vinegar dumped on my dork and a black light shined on it. So don't tell me there's no way to detect a wart.

1:22:23🔗 Drew Yeah, but it's- Did they do that to you, Luis?

1:22:26🔗 Caller No, the guy just looked around, basically.

1:22:28🔗 Drew Yeah, so there's a way to technique you use to pick up the pre-wart lesions. But even without those, he has known exposure. So he's got to assume he's got it.

1:22:39🔗 Caller My last question is that she got hers burned off. But she's telling me that-

1:22:45🔗 Caller I didn't cheat on her.

1:22:46🔗 Caller And she says she didn't cheat on me, right? She says she got it from using her mom's razor in the shower. Is that possible, or is that just BS?

1:22:54🔗 Drew It sounds like BS to me.

1:22:56🔗 Guest You know what, Drew, I've heard that-

1:22:58🔗 Adam No, go ahead and believe her.

1:22:59🔗 Guest Oh, muah.

1:23:00🔗 Caller That pisses me off, though, you know?

1:23:02🔗 Drew You've heard what?

1:23:03🔗 Adam No, I understand.

1:23:04🔗 Guest I was going to say that I heard that- isn't there different kinds of genital warts that you can get? There's some that are contagious and that are not.

1:23:12🔗 Drew Well, basically, that's true, but you can't tell what you've got. There's some that stay forever and some that go away. But once you've been exposed, you've got to assume that you've got them.

1:23:23🔗 Adam Yeah, but what if one never ever manifested itself? And one never showed up?

1:23:31🔗 Drew If three, four, five years goes by and he never gets one, I think he can assume he didn't get it. But until then, he may have been carrying it and he didn't get an award.

1:23:39🔗 Guest Could you get them and then never show a symptom but still be able to give them to other people?

1:23:43🔗 Drew Yep, yes you can.

1:23:45🔗 Guest I've heard, tell me if this is fact or fiction, but I've heard that, for instance, like if somebody who had genital warts was on a sea-dew or something and it was all wet in their bathing suit and then another person got on the sea-dew and was on it riding around, can you get genital warts like that?

1:24:01🔗 Drew There are all sorts of weird sort of scenarios that you can concoct that could potentially do it, but basically they don't. That doesn't happen. I mean, herpes could potentially be transmitted that way too, but it really just doesn't happen.

1:24:13🔗 Adam All right. What about one of those wakeboards? Would that be a possible way of getting in? Or jet ski, something like that?

1:24:21🔗 Drew That's what we were talking about, jet skiing.

1:24:23🔗 Adam Right.

1:24:23🔗 Guest How much should you inflate the sea-dew if it's wet?

1:24:27🔗 Guest Wait, sea-dews don't inflate.

1:24:30🔗 Adam It's your question. All right. Drew, you got a call over here? Let's talk to Bob of Seventeen. Bob? Hi. What's up?

1:24:40🔗 Caller Well, last summer, I met a girl. And we went out for a while, but then she broke up with me and went back to her old boyfriend. And her sister's always been kind of, she's always flirted with me. And I think she's always liked me, I guess. And she just recently broke up with her boyfriend and my best friend. And...

1:25:03🔗 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. Her ex-boyfriend is your best friend?

1:25:08🔗 Caller Who? Which one? The sister of my ex-girlfriend?

1:25:12🔗 Adam Yeah, whoever you just said, idiot.

1:25:14🔗 Drew Okay.

1:25:15🔗 Caller Sorry. My bad. Um, yeah, he was my best friend.

1:25:19🔗 Drew He was your best friend?

1:25:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:22🔗 Caller He's a jerk.

1:25:23🔗 Drew He's no longer your best friend?

1:25:24🔗 Caller No.

1:25:25🔗 Drew Why?

1:25:27🔗 Adam Because Bob's about to bang his ex-girlfriend.

1:25:29🔗 Drew Yeah. Convenient ex-friend.

1:25:32🔗 Adam Yeah. That's good. You do what a prize fighter does. You know what I mean? It's like every prize fighter is like, well, what's your plan? Well, listen, I liked this guy coming in, but he disrespected me. Now it's war.

1:25:44🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:25:45🔗 Adam Yeah. They're trying to hype themselves up.

1:25:47🔗 Guest Yeah. It's personal.

1:25:48🔗 Adam Yeah. But I think Bob's trying to work himself up to make this move. But we'll figure that out. Bob, why is he your ex-best friend?

1:25:57🔗 Caller He's just doing some stupid stuff. I don't like. I see.

1:26:01🔗 Guest Is he following around the fact that?

1:26:03🔗 Adam Well, hold on a second. Let me say something real fast. I hate to yell at our listeners constantly, but we need some goddamn specific information every once in a while. Doing some stuff that I'm not fond of, or a little this and that. Well, yeah. You stop. I don't know. When we say to you, what is your job? This and that? Not an answer. When we say, do you come from a religious family? Kind of, sort of. No, these are all not answers. We need some specific information. I want to know what this guy did to break you guys up.

1:26:38🔗 Caller Okay. He does drugs and I don't approve of that, and he's gotten some trouble with the law, and he's not a good person for me to be hanging out with.

1:26:49🔗 Adam I see.

1:26:50🔗 Caller I'm trying to get over...

1:26:51🔗 Drew And how long ago did you break up with your girlfriend?

1:26:55🔗 Caller That was probably about three, four months ago.

1:27:00🔗 Adam All right. And how long have these two been broken up?

1:27:05🔗 Caller About a month.

1:27:06🔗 Adam Okay. Go ahead.

1:27:07🔗 Drew It's all right. It's a little dicey. And then consider this ex-girlfriend's sister, what she's all about. She's just breaking up with a drug addict who's a criminal and she's going to date the criminal's ex-best friend and it's her sister's ex-boy. I mean, thinking about the chaos this sister's trying to bring on. You know what I'm saying? She's going to be a problem.

1:27:33🔗 Caller Yeah, but all right.

1:27:35🔗 Drew She is. It's going to be chaos. I mean, what do you do?

1:27:37🔗 Adam But listen, as a guy, especially as a 17-year-old guy, when a girl likes you, you can't waste that. You know what I mean?

1:27:44🔗 Guest Everything else kind of goes out the door.

1:27:46🔗 Adam This is why guys cheat. They're in a relationship. So yeah, I love my girlfriend, but someone likes me. I can't waste that. Look at that stripper. She's eyeballing me. I can't waste that. I could want that one day. Yeah. It's like why they collect cars in Civil War memorabilia. One musket is not enough.

1:28:05🔗 Guest Friends come and go. Forget about it.

1:28:07🔗 Guest Right.

1:28:08🔗 Adam That's right.

1:28:08🔗 Guest He can be my friend.

1:28:10🔗 Guest I think you should move out of Melrose Place for a start.

1:28:14🔗 Adam All right. Let's, we got to go to break, but I just want to say hi to Jeff where we do that. Jeff?

1:28:20🔗 Caller Hello.

1:28:20🔗 Adam You're 17? I am. Your mom is a lesbian?

1:28:24🔗 Caller No.

1:28:25🔗 Adam No, you're gay. I'm gay. I see. And is your mom peed out about that?

1:28:31🔗 Caller I want to tell her, but I don't know how.

1:28:33🔗 Adam Yeah. She can't tell by that whining, nasally voice? Hi, mommy.

1:28:37🔗 Guest I'm gay.

1:28:38🔗 Adam She has no clue. Really? Yeah. Parents, they turn a deaf ear to the homosexuality of their children. Very selective. I'm going to, you know what I'm going to do? Well, hold on a second, Jeff. I'm going to accuse my son of being gay every 10 minutes.

1:28:52🔗 Drew Are you going to use it or give him a chance to talk to you about it?

1:28:54🔗 Adam Yeah. It's like all my Jewish friends, that's what their parents did except for with pot, like substitute gay for pot. They walk in the room. Have you been smoking? I smell pot. They decide to try that, see if the kid will crack. But every 10 minutes you walk in, I smell, you know, it's like you're sitting at Thanksgiving dinner. They go into the kitchen to grab the stuff and they come back. I smell pot. Robbie, have you been smoking pot? Munch, a cattle at a converter, I'm telling you. So, Drew, aren't you going to do that with your sons?

1:29:23🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:29:23🔗 Adam You're accusing them of being gay? It's never too early to start. Have you showed them your penis yet?

1:29:29🔗 Drew No, I'm hiding it, remember?

1:29:30🔗 Adam No, no, you got to show it to them.

1:29:32🔗 Drew Oh, now's the time to show?

1:29:33🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, we haven't, Drew, we're trying not to talk for a second, but we haven't talked about this for many years and I want to talk about this. I believe it is important to a lot of our listeners who have children to show as a father, to show your son your penis between the ages of, let's say, five and nine, show him that penis because he'll swear it's the biggest thing he ever saw in his life. When you're just stepping out of the shower, the kid's four and a half, five years old, the penis is right about chin height, that thing's just hanging down like some sort of grab bar in the subway.

1:30:08🔗 Guest It is grand and beautiful.

1:30:13🔗 Adam Then you never show him your penis again. What happens for the rest of the kid's life? He swears his dad is the biggest one. Right, and you guys have all had this conversation. You're 15, you're 16, you're sitting around with your buddies. My dad has a huge dork. He does not. My dad is huge. Why? Because we all saw it once when we were six and compared to our own, it was tremendous.

1:30:35🔗 Guest Yeah, but you picked up the gene, so this is where you're headed.

1:30:38🔗 Adam No, no, but you know, but no, but see, that's the thing. I've had guys say, I have many friends say, I got a medium to small penis and my dad is huge. How did that happen? Well, the only reason you think he's huge because you saw it when you were in the first grade.

1:30:52🔗 Guest Do you think my dad's penis is huge? You should see my mom's vagina.

1:30:56🔗 Adam Huge, it's like a trash can, man. I think it's massive. I came out, they didn't even know it. No, if you understand my strategy, show it once between five and nine. Don't show it again. He then tells everybody.

1:31:14🔗 Drew Yeah, I know that you need to strategize. I'm not sure I need to do that.

1:31:18🔗 Adam Oh, how dare you. Drew, I'm telling you, your kids are what, eight now?

1:31:23🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:31:23🔗 Adam You got another year, buddy. Show them that penis for their own good.

1:31:27🔗 Guest Or it's too late, Drew, you got to do it.

1:31:29🔗 Adam You got to show them that penis and chub up just a little and don't traumatize it, traumatize it. Make it casual, be stepping out of the bathroom to towel around your head, act a little alarm, but make sure you're pumped up just a little bit.

1:31:42🔗 Guest All right?

1:31:44🔗 Adam There you go, Drew. Drew, I'll hock something up. We're going to take ourselves a little break and we'll be back after this. Yes, it is Love Line. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Larry and Arj are both here from No Force Field. No Force Field is made up of a bunch of guys, some of which are from Primus. And we have the lovely Vanessa Kay from The Man Show, the loveliest of all the chuggies. Yes. All right, Drew is over there in Milwaukee.

1:32:50🔗 Drew Drew? Yeah, it's cold.

1:32:52🔗 Adam Pull it together, buddy. You got a few minutes left here. We're going to hear another song off of the No Forcefield CD. I know it's late.

1:33:01🔗 Guest This actually is not on the new CD.

1:33:03🔗 Adam Oh, it is.

1:33:04🔗 Guest This is the single we just finished. And it's with the Sanchez Brothers, which are Herbal Tea and Ice Cap, the original Cafe Rappers. And it's about Amsterdam.

1:33:16🔗 Adam All right. And it goes a little something like this. That is the Apple Flap Rap from Arth.

1:37:01🔗 Guest And I have to say that thanks for playing that. That's brand new. That's not out on anything, except if you enjoyed that, you can go to zoltron.com, zoltron.com, and click on the golden Z, and it also says Sanchez Brothers, and you can download the entire unedited version of the Apple Flap Rap, which is herbal tea and ice cap for free on MP3. So check that out.

1:37:28🔗 Guest I wasn't drinking on that one.

1:37:31🔗 Guest That's mixed and produced by Ler at F- Studios in Berkeley.

1:37:35🔗 Guest I think so. All right.

1:37:37🔗 Adam We were going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back.

1:37:40🔗 Guest Already?

1:37:41🔗 Adam Yeah, we got to. Check the time, buddy.

1:37:43🔗 Drew Bye. Dude.

1:37:44🔗 Adam Hey, Drew, focus on your job over there.

1:37:46🔗 Drew We didn't finish with Jeff, did we? We're on the air, Adam.

1:38:19🔗 Adam So are you, Drew. Hey, Drew.

1:38:22🔗 Drew I'm going to get it together, big guy.

1:38:24🔗 Adam Hey, Drew. Hey, Adam. God damn it. Don't even get me started. You're lucky this show is over. I was just taking a leak. Think about what a piss poor performance you were put in tonight after looking at my penis, after being so tired and traveling and all that. You better get it together, buddy. You got to work twice as hard when you travel. Relax. Sit back there. How dare you? How dare you bring this up? No Forcefield is the CD. Vanessa Kay, give the website out there, Vanessa.

1:38:52🔗 Guest www.vanessakay.com.

1:38:56🔗 Adam There you go.

1:38:57🔗 Guest You'll like it.

1:38:58🔗 Adam From the Man Show, 10 o'clock on Sunday nights, Comedy Central. Whatever. Thanks a lot, guys. Dr. Drew in person tomorrow night, God willing. And until next time, this is Adam Crow for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:39:10🔗 Guest Dick.

1:39:12🔗 Guest This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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