9:16🔗
Voiceover
Buzz KQBC Seattle. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.
9:39🔗
Adam
Hey, it's the Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 3108-54-4455.
9:48🔗
Drew
Welcome back to Food Channel. More cranberries all the time. We wasted so goddamn much time last time. We wasted so damn much on cranberries and yams.
9:58🔗
Yeah, yeah.
10:01🔗
Adam
You guys will be thanking me tomorrow when you're eating fresh cranberry sauce instead of that canned stuff, the animals that you are. Cranberry, not canberry, Drew. That's my saying for next season. It's a little late to get started this year. All right, hey, Drew, go dim the light a little. I can't relax in here with this kind of lighting, this sort of media lighting. At the Drive-In is our guest tonight. Hi, guys. Good to see you. Hello. Sorry, I'm running a little bit late. I, uh... La Brea. Yeah, a little trouble on the freeway. I should have known. Everyone was heading for the airport. And quite frankly, it's my fault because my attitude has really gotten lax over the... about the last three years. I used to leave my... It takes me 25 minutes to get here, okay? 23 minutes to get here.
10:57🔗
Adam
I leave my house at 9.33. So I allow myself a nice three-minute margin. And if somebody slows down in front of me or has to change lanes or even adjust the radio in the car in front of me, it can really throw off my very delicate timing. I'm like a Swiss timepiece. So I had to get off the freeway and I ran a little late. I'm a little bit scattered, but let's not let that affect us. Let's get past that. Let's get over that. Paul, Omar and Tony are all here from the band and we're going to hear something off the CD. Letterman on the 15th. Is that what this says?
11:34🔗
Yes.
11:39🔗
Two weeks. All right.
11:41🔗
Adam
Well, I'll mention it on the 14th if we're still on the air at that time. And we'll listen to hear a few cuts off the CD and all that stuff. But tell us about yourself because I didn't read the bio. I walked in 10 seconds ago.
11:59🔗
We're from El Paso.
12:02🔗
Come on.
12:02🔗
Go ahead.
12:03🔗
We're from El Paso. We've been together since 94. And we're basically just a punk rock band that's been touring in a van and playing all ages venues and eating free food at People's Park and things like this. And in the past year, we've had a lot of attention come our way. And so we've been able to pay bigger venues and go on to sell out.
12:24🔗
Yeah, we're selling out. Exactly.
12:26🔗
Adam
Well, to the man. Let's be fair. Sure. You lost your edge. We understand. But I'm curious.
12:37🔗
Adam
I'm curious on the on the all ages shows. Are there does that mean nine year olds could be there? Is there some sort of cut off? No, I mean, seven year olds could be there.
12:48🔗
Seven year olds. We have plenty of little children who come out to our shows at some places and infants.
12:55🔗
Is it better all their way there?
13:01🔗
Definitely.
13:05🔗
Definitely.
13:05🔗
They're not worried about getting drunk right before the show and they want to be loud and nauseous. These kids actually have an appreciation for what you do sometimes. You know, right.
13:17🔗
Exactly.
13:18🔗
Adam
Which, by the way, is great. But it hits a peak and then it drops pretty fast. You go from sort of, I love you man, to kick your ass and it can be like 10 minutes. You know what's happened to me, speaking of booze, quite honestly, is I've walked into a few parties because of this radio show. I come into parties at 1230 at night. People go, oh, it's going on all night. It's going to be great. I go, I got to do the radio show. Oh, no, no, to swing by on the way back from the show. It's cool. We're starting at 830. We're barbecuing and we'll be going all night. You just swing by. You ever walk into a party sober when everyone is loaded? You don't notice it when you're in with them getting loaded with them. I think it's like sitting in a jacuzzi where they're slowly turning up the heat. You don't feel it, but you just fall into something that's 120 degrees and you scream. You start walking into places when people are preloaded already and everyone's coming up and spitting on you and slapping on you and want to fight you. That's why I now get drunk on the way over to the parties. That's my new thing, Drew. I do a little heroin. I keep a beer bong in my glove box.
14:29🔗
Adam
Well, I got pulled over. They said I had to put it in the glove box. I can't hang it off the garter belt off the rear view anymore. I have to keep it in the glove box apparently. All right, so we will hear something from At The Drive In. You want to hear something soon? You want to take some calls?
14:51🔗
Adam
Hey, am I right though about this cranberry sauce? They open the can of cranberries when they could easily cook up some fresh cranberry sauce each year. I'm saying it's not okay. And I know the band agrees, even if it's quietly.
15:03🔗
Bob?
15:05🔗
Yeah.
15:14🔗
Yeah.
15:23🔗
That's the first time.
15:26🔗
Caller
She just walked away. She's like ran out of the room and I just closed the door and I haven't spoke to her since. I just stayed in my room all night.
15:40🔗
Caller
She just ran like she turned around and just she can't she doesn't only run but just speak.
16:35🔗
Adam
They don't normally get to it as quick and as often as guys do. You know, Drew, by 14, you'd had a black belt and jack it off, right?
16:47🔗
That's right.
16:59🔗
Drew
Most women, if they masturbate, don't get to that till they're well into their late teens and 20s.
17:25🔗
Adam
I don't know. I've been caught. You guys been caught? I've been caught a couple of times.
17:33🔗
Adam
No, I never. I never. I got. See, my dad knew he didn't want to see me jacking off. He still doesn't. I asked him the other day when I was drunk.
17:42🔗
Dad, you want me to jack off?
17:45🔗
Adam
Really? Come on. And we're men now. Come on. No, he didn't want. So in my stepmom didn't either. So it was always that little tap on the door. You know, code word, you sleeping with your hand feverishly moving in your underpants. One time, my dad or stepmom or someone just stumbled into the room kind of thing. And there was, you know, the cover pulled up around my neck and, you know, shoes hanging out, shoes and bunched up pants hanging up. I'm sleeping. Yeah, I'm too tired to take my shoes and pants off. You know, sometimes you're taking a crap and you just walk with your pants down around your ankles in your bed and take a nap. Another time, though, this is my worst one. Really, I never told the story. It was humiliating. I was probably 18 and a half. My good friend, John Tyler, was one of those obnoxious guys, you know, was always shooting you with a BB gun. This is a guy took a full sack, a five pound sack of gold metal flour and threw it into my industrial fan, which was on high next to my bed while I was asleep. Took a full sack of flour and just disintegrated it into this fan. I had weevils in my room from the flour. I mean, the flour never stopped. You'd wipe it down and a week later it settled again. It was on everything. But anyway, I was going at it pretty good. And he was one of these guys who made like these Kramer type entrances. You know what I mean? He didn't tap on the door or even walk in. He walked in like it was a cartoon. You know, he'd come busting in. He'd come bounding it. And I was going at it and I was right there. I mean, something was coming out of me when he busted in the room. And it was like, there's nothing you could do with that. He was like screaming. It was just bad timing.
19:53🔗
Adam
He just, yeah, basically, I think he went out and tried to rent a bullhorn. He didn't have one on him. I was screaming down the street and I was like, I was kind of in shock and I didn't know what to do.
20:21🔗
Adam
Never stopped. This is the same guy, by the way. This is the second most embarrassing situation of my life. I had a big crush on his sister, Phyllis. Of course, she didn't like me. She was a year older than me. I was like 15. I was really into her. I was sitting on a rocking chair in their living room one day. I was friends with the family. Phyllis came in and sat on my lap. It was rocking on this rocking chair. I was 15. I was going insane. Hormones popping. I was going nuts. He was in the next room. There was a little curtain type thing. He was spying on us a little bit. She was sitting on my lap. I was going, Oh my God. Oh my God. And she goes, and like the phone rang or something. And she goes, Oh, hold on a second. She got up and I was like, Holy Christ. So I got, and I stood up and I was like adjusting myself and stuff. And I was kind of pacing around. I was nervous and didn't know what to do. And I heard her hang up the phone and I like dove back into the rocking chair, started running for the rocking chair, slid back into it. So she'd get back on my lap. And sure enough, she came in, she sat back down on my lap. And then John walked in and he said, Phyllis, he was walking around, pacing around, checking his junk. And soon as he heard you coming back, he dove back in. I was so humiliated. That and the jack, yeah. Oh my God.
21:48🔗
Adam
And you, you abuse back. That's what you do. That's the code of the a-hole. You hung around with guys with the monograms and smoking jackets. You guys who had those.
21:59🔗
Adam
Yeah. One of those dogs that looked like women, those skinny dogs that British royalty has, the curled up tail and the long hair. These are your friends like bread doughs. Yeah, the head Afghans, right? Using like an extension on their crazy straw that was made of pewter. They're very upper crust kids, right?
22:31🔗
Caller
I have a question. I would like to know if there is a procedure, women can go through kind of like a circumcision? If there are...
22:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, they have a vagioplasty or something. I heard somebody talking. Have you guys heard about this?
23:21🔗
Adam
No, I know. No, listen, I know it's easy for us as guys to go, ah, you're beautiful the way you are, just as long as we don't have to see you. But I mean, the reality is, if you're 25, this stuff doesn't usually start happening until later in life, right? You've seen an 80-year-old vagina, right?
24:17🔗
Adam
Yeah, he's hanging the weights off it. Now, they have this procedure. Are you married? Do you have a man?
24:35🔗
I feel sexy for...
24:48🔗
Adam
All right, so you shouldn't care about it either, because that's his part now. It's his vagina. It's no longer yours. You get married, you give your vagina to your partner. And listen, I wouldn't want some guy working on my wife's vagina for any real period of time, you know? You know what I mean? Cutting and snipping and, you know, sewing and things can go wrong. You're fine, Shirley.
25:15🔗
Adam
You grow that little dwarf's beard down there, you know, a little coati, tease it out toward the bottom.
25:21🔗
Drew
Very nice, Adam. Okay, well, thank you very much. Pambri is a far more appealing discussion somehow.
25:30🔗
Adam
Oh, you want to hear a song? Drew is really set, really set in the cage. All right, this is At the Drive In. You cute up there, Anderson? What are you saying now? This is called One-Armed Scissor.
29:30🔗
Yes, indeed.
29:32🔗
Adam
At the Drive In is the name of the band. Relationship of Command is the name of the CD. We'll hear something else off it before the...
29:44🔗
Adam
Before the night is through, the guys are all here. I've been told we have some pumpkin pie. So we're gonna get into that. Should we take one more call?
30:10🔗
At The Drive In
I filtered my name there for a while. Right. I actually have a question for At the Drive-In.
30:16🔗
At The Drive In
Yep, big fan, you guys. Good to see you guys have out. I was wondering if you guys have a really fresh new sound. I was actually wondering who your inspirations were and what kind of band you want to be in the next couple of years or so.
30:32🔗
Caller
Well, our inspirations, I think, go into anything from dub reggae to death metal. We listen to everything. We like everything. Our van is full of any kind of music. We are five individuals that all write music and like a whole bunch of different stuff.
30:50🔗
Caller
As far as we want to be, I don't think any of us have any goals or try to look too far into the future because we just want to keep evolving with our music and finding other music or books or comedians that turn us on to new ideas. So I think it's all about keeping an open mind to new concepts.
31:10🔗
Adam
Yeah, there's a song you should cover. Hey Kabir, the band told me during the break that they wanted a Saturday morning cartoon.
31:20🔗
Adam
They're all like superheroes, super drummers, super bass players. They use their instruments to fight crime.
31:35🔗
At The Drive In
You're the funniest man alive, you are the oddest. And actually, I was wondering if you could do my voicemail.
31:45🔗
At The Drive In
Yeah, but you had to call the person that's all messed up. I've got it all set up for you.
31:51🔗
Adam
I will. Hold on. People are like, well, could you do my outgoing message? And I go, yeah, okay. And I go, okay. Well, can you, you want to come by after the show? No. Well, you said you're going to, if it's easy, yeah. Kabir?
32:15🔗
Adam
Oh, you son of a bitch. Cell phone. We didn't know from cell phones when we were 16. I taught, you know what I had talked into when I was 16? A shoe. I didn't know any better. You understand? A sweaty tennis shoe. That's how we communicated. Drew, back in the day, used, you were still using smoke signals, weren't you?
32:38🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah, tap coconuts together, Drew. Drew had a tom-tom drum. He would beat out messages to his friends in the Pasadena area.
32:49🔗
Adam
No, we didn't have, we didn't have even a rotary phone. We had to, I had to climb the telephone pole like green anchors in order to talk. Yeah, now you kids with your cell phones and your pagers and your wireless internet, you don't know how good you had it. You know what I had to play with when I was a kid?
33:10🔗
Adam
One of those evil, can evil. Motorcycle wheelie things that you'll wound up, you break, I got Corporal Tunnelson from Whine in there. Oh, we got pumpkin pie?
33:25🔗
Adam
Hi, this is celebrity Adam Carolla of television, radio, and theater, legitimate theater. Kabir is not here. He's away. He's masturbating. Leave a message on the phone his parents paid for and he'll get back to you when he's done masturbating.
33:49🔗
Adam
All right, At The Drive In is here. We're gonna eat some pumpkin pie and we'll be back after this.
34:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, Loveline, I'm the Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Paul Omar and Tony are all here from At the Drive-In. We just got ourselves some pumpkin pie, some fans brought by, along with some homemade cranberry sauce. So, we're sitting pretty, really, we're in the cat bird seat. No, the cat seat. What do they call that, Drew? Whatever. That's what's beautiful about you. Omar will not eat the pumpkin pie because he's a vegan. But I was thinking about it while I was peeing. Oh, I see. No, this has like some eggs and some milk and some butter and some stuff like that. But how does that, what can you eat? Because if you, there's like vegetarian, right? And that eliminates some of the obvious stuff. But when you go full animal product, I mean, you're really painting yourself into a culinary corner. That's good alliteration because everything's got some eggs in it or some milk in it or some fat in it or some butter in it. But what do you, what will you eat or what can you eat?
35:35🔗
Caller
There's plenty of like Middle Eastern dishes that don't have any animal products in them or Puerto Rican and Cuban dishes that don't.
35:42🔗
Caller
Yeah. Like plenty of food. There's there's you know, there's plantains and rice and vegetables and griffins and burritos of course. Right.
35:59🔗
Adam
Because his hair is sore. Something happened to his hair. No, you got you eat you eat so I'm getting enough protein and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. What do you know about all this? You know, you know, whenever they talk about if people stopped eating cows and started eating plants that we save the world like, uh, and Drew didn't know about all this methane stuff, about how much cows fart. That's why they're my favorite animal. I'm sure they fart so much that they're actually destroying the ozone with their ass, which is something in a way and I'm not happy about, but I respect in a certain way, you know, any animal that can fart up the, wouldn't it be ironic if cows ended up killing us? You know what I mean? It's like, I could just see some other, some other intelligent beings on some planet telling a tale about the, well, they raised them and they ate them. They ate them for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and they killed them in horrible ways and they enslaved them. But the cows had the last laugh. They farted up the entire planet. They burned the ozone away. And the, the population was killed. Do you know anything about that stuff, Omar?
37:10🔗
Adam
It's good. It's a good ramp when people are giving you crap about eating cows. You started with the farting, it really shuts them up. All right. So where are we going here, Drew? Destiny? Destiny?
37:24🔗
Caller
What's up? I have a problem. One thing is, okay, I just don't seem to be able to have an orgasm. I have a boyfriend and everything and I can get into it, but I've only had one one time and it's like, I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what.
37:47🔗
Well, yeah.
38:04🔗
Drew
Destiny, why were you able to achieve an orgasm on that one time? What was different about that time?
38:16🔗
Adam
So he didn't pull out any, you know, a cordless drill with a feather duster on the end of it or some double headed something or other. Nothing he did.
38:35🔗
Adam
How did you have the orgasm the one time? You know, it turns out to be, you know what this show, I realized, we ended up becoming like orgasm interrogators. I feel like we're detectives working for the orgasm detectives. Ma'am, what time did you have the orgasm? Uh-huh. And where was your vagina during the orgasm?
38:58🔗
Adam
I see. I see. What are those names? I have to write that down. I see. Anything different? Anything peculiar? It would end up like interrogating. I feel like it would be shining.
39:10🔗
Adam
That's right. Cato was where during the orgasm? Destiny, was it oral sex or intercourse?
39:23🔗
I'm very curious.
39:52🔗
Adam
No. I agree with Drew. Your brain's writing checks, your vagina can't cash, sister. It's good tough talk. You may be done with this. That's a good bumper sticker too. You may be done with this relationship.
40:09🔗
Oh, okay.
40:21🔗
Adam
This is another great part about this show. People call up with long-term relationships.
40:26🔗
Adam
Well, we were going to get married. No, it's over. Well, geez, I'm supposed to be with his family tomorrow. Yeah, that ain't going to happen. No, you stay home and start drinking now. Okay. And then burn his house down. What do you say? Collect the insurance. Carmine?
41:06🔗
Adam
I've been trying to implement that system for a long time in radio, just a little change slot on the side of the radio that you feed like a meter.
41:17🔗
Adam
That's my take, by the way, I don't want to go off too far on a tangent here, but for life support system, you know how people complain like it cost the hospital too much and this guy's been a vegetable for four years and he's not coming back. How about putting a little, Drew, you work at a hospital, like a meter, like a park meter. Let's see if your family loves you. You see, if they're feeding quarters and who wants to wake up in a world where they're not? Do you know what I'm saying? It solves itself and the hospital doesn't have to foot the bill.
41:49🔗
Drew
It's basic human behavior. When you give feedback to humans, they change their behavior.
41:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, see how much they would argue with the staff of the hospital about keeping their grandpa on that heart machine if they are actually feeding it. I don't think so. Carmine?
42:06🔗
Caller
Well, the last couple of weeks I've had a big problem. I've been working out for a little while and I just started taking creatine and it's caused some, when I work out, do really strenuous exercises like bench press or something like that. I tend to, I guess, leak a little bit.
42:28🔗
Drew
That's just leaking, which is something that weight lifters get and there's even a weird thing that some weight lifters get when it's bad for the prostate, that kind of straining and it irritates it.
42:44🔗
Drew
Well, and sometimes, what some guys get is something in the prosthetic secretions actually dissolve the nylon in the, like the sweatpants and things. So you get little holes, it's very strange.
43:03🔗
Adam
Drew, remember when we went to that gay gym, like when we were doing Loveline a couple of summers ago? Yeah. It gets a little weird over there. A bunch of scary guys with veins in their calves and stuff. I feel like yelling at everyone, hey, it's noon, it's Tuesday. What the hell is going on? What are you guys doing? Don't you got jobs? What's going on with gay guys that they don't have to work?
43:24🔗
Adam
I know, they just work and work out, work out. I know they're very savvy in the business world. It must be because they seem to be independently wealthy or they work nights. Carmine, go easy on those heavyweights.
44:00🔗
Adam
I've heard that the semen tastes better if it's not like tainted with a bunch of hot dogs and things like that. Do we have, and I know you wouldn't know, have you ever got any compliments or anything?
44:22🔗
Adam
We're going to the parking lot. You're a scientist for Christ's sake. Get out there. Leave the pie. But what about like number one and number two? Does that seem a little better since you switched over?
44:40🔗
Adam
They're like the stuff, the lucky charms. The blue diamonds. All right, let's talk to Carrie.
44:47🔗
Oh, hi.
44:56🔗
Caller
But just in general, if it's true that there's any sort of difference between like having a diet with like meat and animal products and one without, if it affects the taste or the smell or texture of ejaculate or anything.
45:11🔗
Adam
Well, it may have some impact, but, you know, I mean, like I said, let's, I'm sorry, I'm eating my pumpkin pie, but let's use another, let's use crap as an example. Your crap is going to be bad if you just live off of jerky and cocktail weenies and shrimp cocktail, right?
45:35🔗
Adam
But I don't care if a guy ate a watermelon and had a lettuce, I wouldn't get down in that toilet. Right. So it goes from bad to extra bad or horrible to extra bad or whatever it is.
45:45🔗
Drew
And I'm guessing it's about the same with semen, which is, it's not going to, Especially as people spend a lot of time and energy trying to make it better, because it is awful.
46:01🔗
Adam
Well, I mean, I don't know. They know it's like Eskimos. They just live off of like seal and whale blubber and stuff. You're blowing Eskimo, Drew?
46:18🔗
Adam
Totally different. All right. At the Drive-In is our guest. And now we're going to take a little break. I'm going to eat the rest of this pie. What do you say we kill this pie? You guys with me? All right. We'll be back after this. Hey, hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Just gonna, let's all take one bite out of this last piece of pie, what do you say? Because no one wants to say they eat three pieces. I'm finished.
47:27🔗
Yeah.
47:28🔗
Adam
Oh, go ahead. All right, Anderson. Yeah, this is yours, buddy. I got a 32nd of a pie here. You know what's great about pie? It's not a metaphor. It's actually, we're talking about a piece of pie. I mean, you're talking about cutting us an eighth or a sixteenth or whatever it is. All right, at the Drive-In is our guest tonight. We'll hear something else off the CD in the next hour and we'll hop back on the phones, Mike.
47:55🔗
Hey, Adam.
47:57🔗
Caller
Oh, not much. I just want to say you guys rule. Thanks. Adam, I'd take a bullet for you, man.
48:12🔗
Drew
Last guy I took care of, this is God's truth, they got shot in the ass. A bullet came out his penis.
48:23🔗
Drew
No, no, it came across. It ricocheted off one of these bones and came out across the penis.
48:28🔗
Adam
Did it, did it graze the penis or did it go through the little bit down the shop and came out about the middle of the shaft?
48:53🔗
Caller
Okay. So pretty much the question is there's this really ugly chick who wants to, who's going to go to the, who asked me to dance, right? And it's pretty much a well-known fact around the school that she would probably give me the oral sex if I went to the dance with her, you know, after a party or something like that.
49:14🔗
Caller
And there's another chick who I want to go with, but she's pretty much, doesn't put out at all, but you know, she's hot and I'm embarrassed to be seen with the other person.
49:28🔗
Adam
All right. And so you got the dilemma. Yeah. Here's my compromise. Find a semi-attractive chick that will give you a hand job. I've been that's, you know, that to me is a compromise.
50:06🔗
Caller
Just to start off with, let's try with ethics first and then we'll go to the next question.
50:22🔗
Adam
I'm going to say I'll tell you something. The semi sobering at, you know, it's easy when you're caught up in it, like in high school or junior high.
50:33🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, not anymore because Drew just did. Thanks, Drew. That's good radio. I start to tell a story. Tell a story. Oh, shut up, you idiot. How dare you finish my story. Now, screw you. No lesson for you, Mike. Oh, I want you to abuse unattractive people for the rest of your life. You can thank Drew for it. Ruining my good story.
50:55🔗
Drew
When she kills herself blaming Adam for not having really told you what actually went down.
51:03🔗
Drew
Let's fight about it. What's wrong with you? That if I chime in with you, not only that, but.
51:13🔗
Adam
Drew, okay, listen. You start telling a story and I'll go, hey Mike, Drew's about to tell you a story that ends this way. Yeah, that's great radio.
51:28🔗
Adam
Hey Mike. Yeah. All right, here's the deal. Don't, you will be different 10 years from now, God willing, and you will look back on some of these things and you don't want to have too big a rap sheet. You know what I'm saying? Emotionally. You don't want to have to answer to this. And people, I knew a girl, she killed herself later on in life. And it was someone that everyone made fun of. And I thank God that I did not join the people that made fun of her because otherwise I'd feel horrible. Good.
52:00🔗
Adam
You're getting into it. That's all. Just find someone who looks as good or as bad as you do and get the hand job or go to the dance with someone that you actually whose presence you actually enjoy and you can have good conversations with.
52:21🔗
Yeah.
52:23🔗
Caller
Yeah, I'm 19. Good to see you. I was wondering if there was any physical way for a guy to tell if you're sleeping with someone else like in the same day or something because there's anything going on down there.
52:43🔗
Caller
Well, I kind of am seeing like two people and like one of them just left and another one's coming at like 11.
52:57🔗
Adam
Yeah, and wipe your belly off. That's the important part. If you ever walk around like a dish towel stuck to your belly.
53:14🔗
Caller
Well, one of the guys lives really far away and he's like my best friend and I'm like over for a really long time, but you mean he's like never here. And so I met this other guy that goes here. Well, he works here. And then so it's kind of like he works there. Yeah, he works at the hospital here. And so I met him and and so we kind of hit it off and I figured, well, I don't have anyone for the week. And well, so I don't know. I mean, am I going to get in big trouble?
53:52🔗
Adam
Listen, can you can you keep? You got a good poker face or just just got her face? I mean, can you can you keep a straight face?
54:02🔗
Adam
I mean, if if if he goes down on you, can you like not say, oh, Christ, not again or something like that?
54:16🔗
Drew
No, this isn't good. You got to break up with somebody. This is not fair to yourself. It's not fair to them.
54:53🔗
Caller
Long, I don't know, a long time building up. I just I don't want to be alone without somebody.
55:28🔗
Adam
Hi Marissa. I play volleyball. All right. Well, have fun with the extra penis. And you know, don't you just pick the guy you like, the one guy you like and stick with him?
55:40🔗
Adam
And the good news is, is guys don't think women do this, so they're not suspicious. No, you're not gonna say anything.
55:46🔗
Drew
Wait a minute, night show males are completely focused on these kinds of issues. If you've lost your will to live, you don't think women do this.
55:57🔗
Adam
I'm this close to not doing the right show because of me losing my will to live. But the point, the point is, is they will believe you. Yes.
56:05🔗
Adam
Yes, if you tell them, oh please, you think some guy just humped me an hour ago? They're gonna go along with that. They're not gonna believe that. All right. We're gonna take ourselves a break. We'll be back after this.
56:17🔗
Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.
57:03🔗
Adam
Hey, Loveline, At the Drive-In, Sir. Yeah. I know the yeah is a little comp out, but I squeeze it in there. Very nice, I still think. Paul and Tony are here. I don't know where Omar's doing something on the computer or something, but he should pull himself in here soon. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191 is the phone number. That's Dr. Drew. Here comes Omar. Drew?
57:32🔗
Adam
You know, I was thinking about a minute ago at Thanksgiving. Drew, what are you doing Thanksgiving at your house?
57:49🔗
Adam
Oh, all right. Well, fine. You guys are good. What struck me about that Thanksgiving is that feeling about, it gets dark at 4.45, 5 o'clock. You've been drinking and stuffing your face since about 3.30. There's that feeling about, it feels like it's been a pretty long night and you go, what time is it? I'm going to head in.
58:16🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's 6.15. You go, okay, well, I'll go to bed at 7. It's like what happens when you go camping. You go camping, it gets dark at 5, you're roasting marshmallows, you're sitting around and you go, well, I'm going to turn in and one of your buddies goes, it's 6.30. Okay, I'll rough it till 7, but that's as long as I'll make it. Alright, you ready to go here, Drew?
58:55🔗
Caller
I was just wondering, like, if you guys were ever going to, like, re-release Hell Paso, like, on 7-inch or on CD or something? No.
59:13🔗
Caller
Yeah. And I was also wondering if you guys ever, like, read the, like, Grand Royal Street Team, like, message board and stuff?
59:31🔗
Caller
Why? Oh, just so you know, because I'm, like, part of the Grand Royal Street Team and stuff.
59:53🔗
Adam
Yeah, it sucks, right? Whittier. Whittier sucks. Yeah. Yeah. I got trapped in an elevator once, and they say, uh, pick up the phone and, uh, call. Call a guy if you need help. Pick up the phone. I was in Beverly Hills. Pick up the phone, call the guy. I was like, yeah, hey, I'm trapped here between the 7th and 8th floor. Can you get me out? He goes, yeah, it's gonna take a minute. Where are you? In the basement or something? No, I'm in Whittier. Holy Christ. That's when I freaked out.
1:00:20🔗
Caller
I just wanted to say, like, what's up, Tata, driving and telling them that their new album is, like, really good and stuff.
1:00:46🔗
Caller
Yeah. The last, uh, six or seven months, I'd say, I've had this ex-girlfriend of mine, she's been, like, stalking me.
1:00:57🔗
Caller
Well, like, when I drive to work, I'll see her car, like, a few cars back, and then when I'm going back to home, back home from work, she'll be following me again.
1:01:09🔗
Caller
Well, no, she doesn't. She's only 15. She, she doesn't work. I've talked to her friend of hers.
1:01:18🔗
Caller
And at school, I'll see her, like, staring at me at lunchtime, when I'm just walking around, I see her following me all the time. Then about three months ago, there was an incident. She, she egged my car and put all like a swatch to cause on it with markers and said something about like didn't keep the deal.
1:01:55🔗
Caller
Yeah, but I've tried to call the cops and they say they have to have physical evidence of her doing that.
1:01:59🔗
Drew
Yeah, just document everything. It gets help from the school because they should be able. They should be worrying about her well-being and try to get their hands on her and see if they can get her some help.
1:02:31🔗
Adam
Yeah, because he'll bust your ass. He can smell booze over the radio, too. I swear to Christ, you will come in here. Who's drinking? Who's drinking? You're in. Someone drank tonight. Well, I had a glass of wine with my dinner. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Get you in the detox front.
1:03:14🔗
At The Drive In
Yeah, both of you. Well, you're like super funny. You're like the funniest guy I've ever heard in my life.
1:03:20🔗
At The Drive In
Yeah. All right. Well, yeah, I have like an eight-inch penis and like during PE when I like, we have to dress out, it like kind of hangs out and stuff. And like other guys see it and it's kind of weird. I was just wondering if there's anything I can like do.
1:03:36🔗
Adam
No, no. That broke my heart when I was in junior high. My dork was so big, it hung out of my gym shorts and it was tough. It was hard. I had to duct tape it.
1:03:57🔗
Adam
Yeah. You really can't keep your... Listen, Kyle, okay, let me just use this as an example. Nobody has bigger penises than the guys in the NBA, right? Yeah. They're black. They're 6'9. They run up and down the court all night long, jumping, dunking, blocking shots. Their dork never comes out of those shorts, all right? You don't think you can make it from the lockers over to the tetherball court without your junk hanging out? Yeah. See what you can do, you idiot. I am the big boy. He's an idiot. He's got a penis hangs out. Listen, I don't mind a guy saying he has a big penis. I'm fine with that. But don't give us that story about you can't handle it. I woke up, my penis was robbed at a liquor store. They fired on it twice, it returned fire. Where is it now? It's in Mexico. It's under assumed name.
1:04:53🔗
Adam
It crossed the border. It says it was a DEA agent. It was posing as an agent. I guess it got a fake ID from its NARD buddies. Don't give us that, I can't control my huge penis. Just tell me you got a big penis. That's fine. Heather?
1:05:24🔗
Caller
Because I have a really poor relationship with him. I feel very uncomfortable around him for actually no particular reason. And I have a lot of problems committing to any sort of relationships. And I really don't know why. And I was just wondering if this, you know, I... It's not... I don't think these are thoughts that just kind of come out of nowhere.
1:05:47🔗
Drew
Yeah, but your dad may just not be a great guy or not been available or tuned to you the way you needed him. And that's enough to screw up your relationships. You don't have to be overtly abused.
1:06:03🔗
Caller
Okay. Is there any way I can kind of get through this without therapy or counseling? Like, or not necessarily...
1:06:17🔗
Caller
I don't know. He would... He'd hit me and, you know, slap me around a bit, but it wasn't...
1:06:32🔗
Caller
I have one older brother and he would... He'd get slapped around quite a bit as well.
1:06:37🔗
Adam
Right. Right. Yeah, you know, I tend to agree with Drew, which is, you know, if he sexually abused you, you'd probably remember it or know it. But him physically abusing you is bad enough and it's enough for you to have a bad feeling when you see the guy.
1:07:01🔗
Drew
Well, it's actually pretty complicated, but a simple thing you might try is to, when you do date guys, try not to be guys you're too excited about, that you're too attracted to.
1:07:17🔗
Drew
And try to make it somebody that looks good on paper to you, some of the kind of guy you should be with, some of the kind of guy you should date and try to form a relationship with and see if you can find some way of connecting with that person.
1:07:28🔗
Adam
I agree. See if you can find a guy who nauseates you physically, physically makes you sick and then date the hell out of him.
1:07:41🔗
Adam
Because your dad was in a hole and he was abusive and you may get caught up with someone who's abusive. You have a much higher likelihood of getting caught up with someone who's abusive.
1:07:55🔗
Caller
So are you saying basically just kind of go for the guy that is the exact opposite of a father?
1:08:01🔗
Drew
No. Just somebody that's not so exciting. It should be somebody you're interested in. If you have common interests and...
1:08:06🔗
Adam
Find a Jewish. Do you know any Jewish guys? Yeah. Yeah. Date one of them. They're used to being beaten by women. They don't beat as much themselves.
1:08:22🔗
Adam
No, but a Jewish man is used to being abused by his wife as opposed to abusing the wife. Do you see what I'm saying?
1:08:44🔗
Caller
I have a question about Depovera. I was actually... I got on it... I put on it like eight months ago, and I stopped taking it because I was gaining a lot of weight. So, but...
1:09:03🔗
Caller
And then... But my sex drive has decreased so much. I mean, before me and my boyfriend used to have, like, a good sexual relationship. But now, I don't even feel like having sex at all or anything in that matter. Like, I don't even like kissing that much.
1:09:32🔗
Adam
No, I know. It's not you. It's everyone. It just adds up. How long ago did you take the shot? I only got one shot. Oh, I see.
1:10:36🔗
Caller
Yeah, so she's not really racist or anything. I mean, she doesn't have a problem that he's white. It's just like where he's from because, you know, all Asian cultures want their children to be from, like, a really good, or their spouse or whatever, to be from a really good background.
1:11:04🔗
Adam
No, that's wrong. Yeah, they have a good point. Oh, he's from Canada. Yeah, those Canucks. You can't trust them.
1:11:12🔗
Caller
Does that mean, like, because I think it's because of the depo that my sex drive decreased, but he thinks it's, like, a psychological thing.
1:11:19🔗
Drew
I agree with him. I agree with him. The problem from the depo should have worn off within three months unless it triggered some sort of depression, which it can do that, but it can also screw with your hormones a little bit. Have you been menstruating normally?
1:11:35🔗
Drew
You may want to go on a birth control pill for a while, something to really get things cycling again. It could be a hormonal change, but I also worry that the stress involved in your life could be affecting it as well.
1:11:58🔗
Adam
All right, baby. You're fine. I like that half breed thing, that half Asian, half white. That's good. That's a good mix.
1:12:13🔗
Adam
I like that little perky voice on the depot, trying to please her man. That mix, it's a great mixture, that half white, half Asian thing. It's good. The full Asian, little too much Asian. Full white, missing some of the good stuff that the Asians have. But the 50-50 mix, that's nice. You guys know what I mean? Real smooth skin.
1:12:36🔗
Drew
Maybe, Adam, you ought to just stream up the proper mix of human. Like, you get a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
1:12:40🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's like the guys who mix the custom colors at the paint store. You start with the white base, and then you just start adding little bits. You know, I start with a nice big bucket of white. They're mixing a little Asian. I could really, yeah, I could really cook up a nice woman in the lab. I really should. You're right. I'm going to work on that over the long Thanksgiving break. Ed?
1:13:02🔗
Yeah.
1:13:05🔗
Caller
Before I get to it, I got one comment. Okay. In a perfect world, Drew, you'd be my doctor and Adam, you'd be my drinking buddy.
1:13:24🔗
Caller
Yeah, okay. I'm 37. I've been diabetic for 10 years. About three years ago, I gave up getting an erection.
1:13:51🔗
Caller
I don't know. For quite a while, I didn't take care of myself like I should have, but...
1:14:11🔗
Drew
All right, so that's where the complications came from. You may have had type 2 diabetes.
1:14:18🔗
Drew
Okay, so you had adult onset diabetes and didn't take care of it, and now you're getting neuropathy, which is the juvenile onset diabetics, that's how I get their attention is by helping them understand that this is what will happen to them if they don't attend carefully.
1:14:35🔗
Drew
Well, there's byproducts when your sugar is elevated all the time, there's byproducts of sugar metabolism that start to damage the nerves. And it causes vascular damage first, and so the blood supply of the nerve gets cut off and the nerve dies.
1:15:06🔗
Drew
Yes, Viagra will help. But in terms of getting it back, I mean, no, but you can treat it. And certainly Viagra, nowadays, you have that as an option. Muse, suppositories, and people do get implants still, too.
1:15:24🔗
Adam
It's funny because he's 37 and he, he sounds like he's in his 80s. That's what the penis does. You lose the penis, you become like a burl-eyes. I remember when I used to have a penis.
1:16:06🔗
Drew
Yeah, a combo of tobacco and diabetes is equals heart disease, also equals rectal dysfunction.
1:16:15🔗
Drew
There is, Ed, if that's the source, if you have severe vascular disease, even the medium-sized vessels, there are people that are doing, believe it or not, bypass surgeries on the artery of the penis. Yeah. Yeah, and if you could prove that that was a major cause of erectile difficulty, not nerve, the nerve problem doesn't get better, but the vascular problem can get better.
1:16:38🔗
Drew
Probably, I've never been involved with a carious where they did this, but I imagine an angiogram of that area.
1:16:43🔗
Adam
Hey, Ed? Yeah. You know, also, Drew, couldn't he use some sort of pump device, suck the blood into the system, then snap that band on?
1:16:53🔗
Drew
But you need to see Urologist Ed about what's going on here and see if there's more stuff.
1:17:02🔗
Caller
The reason why I'm asking about that is, should I take that chance with my heart? I had bypassed it.
1:17:50🔗
Adam
Hold on, Ed. We got an important person with a problem. Hold on. No. Ed, you look into the pumps, look into the implants, look into everything. Talk to your own. There's a million things out there. I talked to a guy in a wheelchair a couple weeks back. He said you give the penis a shot with this syringe and pow. You understand? It's out there, buddy. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself.
1:18:19🔗
Adam
No, you can do it. And when you do it, when you climb on that hooker, you put that nitrile pill under your tongue because you may pop something.
1:18:57🔗
Caller
Um... Just when I was 21, I was feeling a lot of palpitations and stuff and... So, I was in college and... I'm just a stress case in general, so I went in for an EKG and...
1:20:05🔗
Drew
I had asked Adam to get tickets so we could go see the Dixie Chicks. So I get a call, I'm busy, I run to the phone, I think here it is. He calls me up, hey, could you give me some of that Ambien? The sleeping pills. Now? Can you get it now? Here's the phone. Can you do it right now? Yeah. And then I thought, how about the Dixie Chicks? Oh yeah, I did that. I found the phone number. Did you call them? No.
1:20:55🔗
Adam
It's the Loveline of Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Paul O'Mearn. Tony, you are all here from At the Drive-In. Relationship of Command is the name of the CD. We'll take one call, and then we're going to hear something off of it.
1:21:34🔗
Drew
Yes, suspects at large are Adam Corolla, Chris of Chip and Dale, Chris Beam Beam, is that his name?
1:21:56🔗
Adam
Listen, this is all, this is a fictional characterization of some guys who may have crapped up a bathroom once in high school.
1:22:08🔗
Adam
Yeah. There was a school newspaper that my friend Zeb used to write over at North Hollywood High called the Extruder. And he used to write a lot of articles. One of them had to do with some guys who crapped up a school bathroom once. And I'm named in here with some other guys. But like I said, it's all hearsay. And Drew believes into it because there's a very fertile imagination.
1:22:45🔗
Drew
I know. No wonder when Fletcher was in here, he felt so comfortable. Poo-Poo City was like some place you visited routinely.
1:22:54🔗
Adam
All right. He's talking about Fletcher from Pennywise, who I think he was going to attempt to crap on us that night.
1:23:02🔗
Adam
Yeah. He wanted to take us to Poo-Poo City. Matt. Yeah, I told him I'd been to Poo-Poo City. I used to go there every summer. Matt, you're 21.
1:23:15🔗
Adam
Yeah, I don't know. Like everything, many other things I've thought of in my youth, I lost interest in it.
1:23:34🔗
Adam
All right, buddy. Thank you. Thank you. That was good. Kim, that wasn't, I don't count that as a call. That wasn't a question. Kim? Hi. You're 16.
1:23:43🔗
Caller
I was wondering, I've been sexually active for about a year and a half or so, and I've been with about four different people, and I'm going to sound like a total nympho, but I've had sex only about 300 times, and...
1:24:08🔗
Adam
16 and three-quarters or something. I mean, what part of 16 are you in? I may still be a virgin.
1:24:39🔗
Adam
I still got to call my buddies. I'm going to tell them you came. Is that cool? Thanks. Could you leave the room? I got to talk to them pretty graphically. Kim? 300 times.
1:24:51🔗
Caller
Yeah. I stayed with my boyfriend over the summer one time and we were just like rabbits.
1:24:56🔗
Adam
It was fun. How do you swing staying with your brother, sorry, brother, your boyfriend at 15 and a half or 16 for summer?
1:25:06🔗
Caller
Well, I only stayed with him for a couple of weeks because my parents had to go to Canada and my heat was supposed to be at his dad's in Falejo, but him and his dad got in a big old fight so he ended up having to come home and it was a big old messed up story.
1:25:25🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. Drew, write this and don't ever let your daughter date a guy who hails from Falejo. You know there's going to be something going on. And, hi, Mr. Pinsky, I'm from Falejo. I'm Phil. Whoa, wait a minute. Sorry. Get out. Get out. From Evan Falejo. What is that? What's Falejo?
1:26:30🔗
Caller
Okay. That's good. Because like I was all worried and like, well, that just doesn't add up.
1:26:44🔗
Drew
If you're worried about your fertility, why don't you get appropriate care and get on some contraception, all right?
1:27:19🔗
Adam
Hey, but listen, do you understand the difference between six-year-old girls and six-year-old boys is if a six-year-old girl wants to do this, she can do it. Or in Kim's case, 14 and a half or 15-year-old girl. I mean, you want to get laid every night, go ahead. I mean, you can pull it off. Whereas we wanted to do it. At least I did. I didn't do it. Drew, you got a lot of trim though.
1:27:46🔗
Adam
Drew, you want to tell the story about going to the pharmacy in Chinatown to buy condoms?
1:27:54🔗
Adam
Drew's dad was a doctor in Pasadena. And back then, you couldn't get condoms everywhere. You had to go to the pharmacy to get them. But he was going to be goddamned if he was going to some pharmacy in Pasadena. So the pharmacist would rat him out to his dad who was probably going to be in there an hour later.
1:28:10🔗
Drew
In the 70s, it was even worse. It was, you had to wait in line with the people waiting for their prescriptions. You had to call back to the pharmacist behind the counter there. You had to go back where the pharmacist was. You had to get it back where the Vicodin was. He'd pull these things out. Right. They'd be like, what? Son, how old are you?
1:28:27🔗
Adam
I'd use my reverb effect if it had been working for the last three goddamn years in this piece of ass hell hole we work in. But the point is, is Drew used to have to go down to Chinatown to score.
1:28:51🔗
Adam
I sell you case last week. What happened? I went through them. You go through 26 condom in four days? I got a nice piece of ass. How about you hump once a day? How about you get BJ once in a while?
1:29:10🔗
Adam
We can't keep these condoms. Here. Here are a hundred. Don't come back. I tell you, daddy.
1:29:20🔗
Adam
This one is called Invalid Litter Department. All right, that is At the Drive-In. Dr. Cruz over there. I'm over here. We're going to take some questions, take some calls, do all that. But first, we're going to take a break.
1:36:02🔗
100.7 The Buzz Hey, bloodline!
1:36:23🔗
Adam
I'm Adam Perola. That is the good doctor, Dr. Drew over there, Paul Omar and Tony are all here from At the Drive-In. We have ourselves a few more phone calls to get to. What do you say we talk to...
1:37:10🔗
Caller
Hello. I've been a big fan for a few years now. I actually met Omar and Paul Sunday in San Francisco. It was a great show.
1:37:20🔗
Caller
My question was, I was wondering if you guys have a girlfriend back home and if so, if it's difficult to maintain that relationship on the road.
1:37:31🔗
Adam
True, please. Go ahead. I'm sorry for my partner. What about it, guys? Well, Tony, you got a girlfriend.
1:37:45🔗
Caller
All the time, yeah. I'm actually, I consider myself really lucky because I get a lot of support and no, it's hard sometimes, but you have an expensive phone bill and you go through motions and we're all living our life. We all want to have our dreams and aspirations and when you stop each other from doing things like that, you shouldn't be together.
1:38:29🔗
Adam
She's going to find more screwed up people in acting than she'd find with the retarded kids. I guarantee you that. Alright, Rajiv?
1:38:46🔗
Caller
I'm just kidding. Go ahead, Omar. I was in a relationship for five years and I think it took its toll, you know, being gone all the time and not being able to meet the other person's needs. And so, you know, I pretty much lost my faith in trying to really build a serious relationship at this point. So I'm kind of just, you know, I mean, I'm seeing someone right now, but I'm kind of just focused on music and that's what comes first.
1:39:17🔗
Caller
I mean, yeah, it's, it's tough, but I mean, I got a cell phone. I mean, you just try to find a way.
1:39:24🔗
Adam
Rajiv, hold on a second. The same rock line, you understand? You're not Uncle Joe Benson or ever a host that piece of crap now. I'm hanging up on you now, right? I'm glad you like the band, but all right.
1:39:38🔗
Adam
All right. There you go. That's good. Keep on rocking. Now on guys who like the band, just call up and yell, keep on rocking. And then hang on. Jason.
1:40:36🔗
Caller
Well, that's the thing. I mean, I can retract my foreskin when I'm flaccid, but not when I'm erect. Right.
1:41:04🔗
Drew
Yeah, you can. But what tends to happen is it tends to tear and then scar and then stenose more.
1:41:09🔗
Adam
Right. But wait a minute. Wait a minute. He's not going to... If he stretches it out using the jaws of life, it's going to tear. But how are you going to tear it when you're just trying to stretch it out?
1:41:27🔗
Adam
Well, how can he try to stretch out? Is there anything topical he can put on it? Vitamin E, something like that?
1:41:34🔗
Adam
Yeah, Drew, you're not going to rest until everyone has their dork chopped off, are you? Drew had his two sons circumcised, and now it's become a mission that not only people who are having kids get them circumcised, but those of us who have not been circumcised need to be circumcised according to Drew.
1:41:52🔗
Adam
Well, but Drew, I can tell when you get on to stuff that you, I can see when you have a little mission. You've always had a mission with circumcision.
1:42:01🔗
Drew
No, my mission is, no, no, my mission is, let's not worry about it either way. It's who cares, either way, no big deal. But this kid has got a really good reason to have a circumcision. Why not get it?
1:42:12🔗
Adam
But this kid is, if this person, if he wanted a breast reduction, and you tell him to lose a few pounds before he went under the knife, you'd attempt, you'd say, when we talk about breast reduction, you say, this is an operation, there will be some bleeding, there's always the chance of complication. You could say the same thing about this.
1:42:38🔗
Adam
Outside of those drinking games. With the gay fraternity house you used to run with. Listen, tell them to rub some vitamin E on there. Rub some vitamin E and try to stretch it out. See if we can work with it a little bit.
1:42:55🔗
Adam
I bet you could stretch that thing out 8 inches if you did it right. I know guys who have... Yeah, I mean, a native can stretch his lip out, a chick can put a whole... You see what those guys do to their ears? Put those progressive cylinders in their ears. The next thing you know, they got a hubcap hanging off their head. You could stretch out the foreskin. Probably.
1:43:25🔗
Adam
Yeah, you could stretch that out. I think it would take to it. All right, well, he's 17. Give him something to do over the summer.
1:43:49🔗
Adam
We'll be back. Back in a minute. Oh, thank you very much. There you go. Another fantastic show in the ground. Relationship of Command is the name of the CD. At the Drive-In is the name of the band. Thanks for coming in, guys. Thank you. We do appreciate it. And whenever you're around, come back and see us again. We would always welcome you here. I want to thank, because we're doing the best of tomorrow night, I want to thank Sarah for doing a great job on the phones this week. I want to thank Lauren for doing a great job on the phones. I want to thank producer Anne for producing the show and doing a great job, putting her feminine stink on it. And of course, the one who slides the potentiometer is coming in tomorrow night.
1:44:57🔗
Adam
God bless him. He goes by the name of Anderson. Engineer Anderson to you. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew Sayin.
1:45:09🔗
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.