10:10🔗
Adam
For me, my scariest memory of Halloween was my mom telling me to hand out the walnuts and those miniature sun-made raisin packets.
10:22🔗
Adam
Well, how far do you figure the walnut made it down the street before it went back at me? You know what I mean if I'm standing out in the porch? Eight to twelve paces seem to be the average for the night. Are you kidding me? You cannot hand out things that were made for throwing on Halloween, especially if you don't want it. You see what I'm saying? You give someone a chocolate egg, they're not going to throw it. You give them...
10:52🔗
Adam
You take an egg, you make it out of chocolate, you give a hard boiled egg, it's coming back.
10:57🔗
Adam
And hard. That's right. Just like the walnuts my mom handed out. My mom was this health food nut and thought she was going to somehow cure the neighborhood of cancer by handing out walnuts and miniature raisin packets. You know the look on a nine-year-old kid's face when you hand them a walnut and a miniature packet of raisins? That's the S they get at school. Maybe. On a bad day. Jesus Christ. Well, anyway.
11:27🔗
Drew
Listen, speaking of curing the neighborhood of cancer, a big 14-year study just came out showing that diets high in fruits and vegetables had no impact on calling cancer.
11:36🔗
Adam
Yeah, my mom's going to kill herself. My mom was convinced that sleeping with a pillow under your head would make you a cripple and that the fluoride toothpaste would give you, you know, rot the marrow out of your bones. She had all these hair-brained schemes.
11:53🔗
Adam
Now, I'd like an apologize from her and the rest of the neighborhood. Anyway, that was my scary Halloween story. Drew, what did you do? Did you take the kids out tonight? Did you have the nanny take the kids out?
12:12🔗
Adam
People. What is this new tradition of people that such a thing? Well, people just come from all the crappy neighborhoods.
12:23🔗
Adam
Right. So what you get is a bunch of hoodlums in your nice neighborhood now shaking you down for candy. Some guy in a primered van sitting out front with the uncle, Uncle Henry, a Hoogahorn honking in the background while his kids come up and rape you. Uncle Henry Hoogahorn. Listen, all you screwballs. You stay in your own crappy neighborhoods. That's the way it should work. That should be incentive, by the way, to get out of your crappy neighborhood. Everyone should be forced. You should have no gerrymandering, as they say. I want everyone to stay in their own goddamn neighborhood.
12:56🔗
Adam
You stay in your own neighborhood. You understand? You have like a six-block radius from your house. And if it's too dangerous or too dirty or too violent or too ugly or people are too cheap to buy candy, then you got to get out of that neighborhood or fix it. Don't go to the nice neighborhoods and crap those up. Thank you. All right, Drew. I'm done making friends. I decide to take a nap during the prime trick-or-treating hours tonight.
13:30🔗
You are an asshole.
13:35🔗
Drew
But I think maybe things are getting better out here. Several of the houses, there's sort of a mixed message. Several houses we went past and I had like big bowls of candy just left out there. And you know, kids took one and went on.
13:52🔗
Adam
Sons of doctors and lawyers, please. Listen, when I was a kid, I would have first taken every bit of candy out of that plastic jack-o-lantern that was sitting out there and then crapped in it.
14:04🔗
Adam
When you see those things that says, please just take one, that is fair game. It is time.
14:11🔗
You know what I'm talking about?
14:24🔗
Drew
No doubt. In fact, you would have used it on one another first and then placed it in the...
14:29🔗
Adam
How dare you? The point is, when I was a kid, if I saw once in a blue moon, I did come across that house and said, please take one, I immediately picked out whatever I... It's every man for himself on Halloween. It really is. And it's great when these kids... It's great we're living in a time when kids have to go to like a mall with security and have it roped off and we're going to x-ray your candy. Oh, for Christ's sake. Are people still making like popcorn balls and taquitos and homemade stuff?
15:01🔗
Adam
You don't hear so much about the razor blades and the needles and the rat poison anymore, do you?
15:14🔗
Adam
It'd be one out of out of the 50 million kids that went out and did it, and that'd be blown out of proportion. But seriously, think about this way. What kind of criminal do you have to be to stand on your own doorstep, hand out as Snickers bars that have razor blades in them? How long is it going to take before they come back to your doorstep, this time with the cops?
15:32🔗
Drew
And by the way, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, absolutely. And by the way, our criminals these days are more interested in sort of sexually abusing these kids.
15:38🔗
Adam
Right, that's right. They put the razor blade in their underpants, or at least the Snickers. Hector? Hector?
15:46🔗
Hello?
15:48🔗
Caller
Yeah. I had an accident, I guess you could say. First of all, I listen to you guys every night.
15:58🔗
Drew
Can you interrupt him for a second? I'll grab a scratch. One second. I want to interrupt him for one second. When did the convention develop that every caller has got to give us their opinion of our performances? It looks like the last three or four months. Each and every caller. And not like there's great creativity and great sort of revealing a great knowledge about what it's doing.
16:52🔗
Caller
All right. Well, as I was saying, I was having sex with my girlfriend. And I was wearing a condom. And, like, she was on top, right? And she came down. And she, and, like, I slipped out, and I hit her, like, on the side. And what happened was I, like, started bleeding. Where? Right underneath my penis. I'm not circumcised, so it, like, I guess the skin kind of tore.
17:22🔗
Caller
And, well, I went to the bathroom, and I was sitting there bleeding for quite some time.
17:27🔗
Caller
And, you know, I was kind of scared at first, and then, you know, I just kind of patched it up, I guess, with toilet paper, and it was fine. Sure. Every time I get an erection, it, like, I get, like, little spots of blood and stuff.
17:42🔗
Drew
No, no, it may bleed and crack, and for a while, it's going to take some time to heal. Kind of keep things, give yourself three or four, yeah, a week rest, if you can.
18:06🔗
Drew
And it can be quite painful, and re-tear, and urologists would have to look at that if that happened.
18:17🔗
Adam
Any time there's like a piece of skin that attaches to other things, sort of like the webbing in between a duck's foot. Thank you.
18:25🔗
Drew
No. You're thinking more of attaching to the floor of something, the floors. You know what I'm saying? It's sort of a midline phenomena. They're all midline frenulums.
18:50🔗
Hi?
18:52🔗
Yeah.
18:56🔗
I think he's addicted to sex.
19:03🔗
Well, I think he's six fries short of a happy meal.
19:18🔗
Adam
I think Dennis is an IQ short of funny. Let's see. Dennis? All right. Why do you care about this friend?
19:25🔗
Well, he's just kind of strange. I mean, he...
19:36🔗
Adam
You idiots. Oh, who cares? Listen, I hope his friend slips you, quail you and rapes you. I really do.
20:07🔗
Adam
Yeah, Drew, here's what I want to say. You know, there's some guys, they're so into the rap. I mean, let's say that guy was a BS caller or let's say he was real. But there's certain people out there, they're so into the rap you don't feel like you're talking to them.
20:20🔗
Adam
Whatever they are, they're into the rap. Black guys do it with the black guy rap and hillbillies do it with the hillbilly rap and truckers do it with the trucker rap and everyone's got their own rap but eventually takes over the whole body.
20:36🔗
Adam
And you have about five words with these guys and you realize you'll never get through the rap. Everything's like some, everything they tell you, you get the feeling they've told a million people. Do you know what I'm saying?
21:01🔗
Guest
Yeah, I have a question for Drew. Yeah. Okay. I did like cranks like about two and a half, three months or so. I would eat it. Do you know what that is?
21:18🔗
Guest
Yeah, and I would wrap it in like toilet paper and eat it. And like now still I get like my...
21:24🔗
Guest
Oh, because it's like a powder and if you just put it in your mouth, it's like burning.
21:30🔗
Adam
And have it dissolve? Yeah. See, once you do what I do, you get one of those contact cold tablet pills, empty it out, fill it into that capsule and then swallow that or go rectal with that, which is what I used to do.
21:41🔗
Guest
Yeah, I was going to do the pill thing like get the capsule and fill it, but I tried to quit actually before that. But like now what happens is when I wake up, like my heart will just be going all hard for like no reason. And like I ask some people and they say that just happens from it, but I don't know if it will go away or...
22:05🔗
Drew
Okay. Now, most complaints like this, you know, racing hard, tremulousness in the morning hours is usually the longest distance, longest time interval after your last dose.
22:32🔗
Drew
It's a variation of the theme, not a big difference. I mean, if you're going to take a lot, you're taking a lot either way.
22:45🔗
Guest
Um, no, not too bad, no. But like now I also noticed that I think maybe because I ate it, like my stomach, these weird like divots came in and so like, it's like, um, like I think there might be holes in my stomach or something because it burns when I eat like all kinds.
23:11🔗
Adam
I was 17. I was so in love with masturbation. I didn't have time for drugs and other what I consider distractions. What are you doing at 17? You're like an old Jew, for Christ's sake. Stop complaining. You're dying. You got holes in your stomach, your heart palpitations. For Christ's sake, you're 17 years old.
23:46🔗
Drew
You need to see a doctor. You need to find out whether or not there is a serious heart problem.
23:52🔗
Drew
Did you tell them, I do a bunch of speed and I'm waking up in the morning with palpitations?
23:56🔗
Guest
Well, yeah, I told them what I did and then they just kind of like looked at me like they didn't believe I quit and they didn't really care. And then, so I figured I should like call someone and actually like maybe would care.
24:06🔗
Guest
Yeah, well they did this thing where they moderned my heart and I went to school with like this modern.
24:09🔗
Drew
Oh, okay, all right, so they did care. I mean, I felt good about the way they treated you, but they did do the appropriate testing.
24:17🔗
Drew
Well, more importantly, Rick, why don't you go to an NA meeting, something like that, and get hooked up with people that have done a lot of drugs.
24:42🔗
Adam
Right. I was really having the time of my life living in that crap hole with my wicked step mom.
24:55🔗
Yeah. Hello?
24:57🔗
Caller
Yeah. Okay. I'm African American and I go to a predominantly white school in a majority white neighborhood or whatever. My question is, I started dating a girl about a month and a half ago and things are going pretty well, pretty smoothly or whatever. We're really into each other. But about three weeks ago, I dropped it off after school or whatever and her parents saw me. Ever since then, since that time, they've been really harsh and really rigid towards me.
25:30🔗
Caller
They're fine with it. My parents are really tolerant, really open. But ever since then, her parents will not let me go near the house. They won't let her come over my house.
25:42🔗
Caller
No, because actually she told me that her parents are really against interracial dating.
25:55🔗
Drew
Nice response. This Martin was like, OK, I accept people do that, but I hope this is not the case here.
25:59🔗
Adam
Well, listen. OK, first let me say this, Martin. A couple of things. First off, the only reason she's with you is because you're black. No, I mean- But hold on. But that's all right, because you ain't changing colors, all right?
26:10🔗
Drew
But that's also like saying the only reason she's with you is because she likes the way your eyes or your ass or something.
26:14🔗
Adam
Oh, thank you, Drew. That's right. The only reason anyone's with anybody is because whatever it is, they got going in them. You know what I mean?
26:24🔗
Caller
But before this happened, I mean, she didn't know that her parents were like this until she dated me.
26:31🔗
Caller
All of my friends came out after, you know, after the day I came in the picture, you know?
26:34🔗
Caller
That's why I think that, you know, maybe it's not, you know, me. Maybe she likes me because of me, you know?
26:47🔗
Adam
Okay, let me explain something. Everybody likes you for you. You are whatever you are, whether you're black, whether you're rock star, whether you're movie star, whatever you are. People do that all the time. People say to me all the time, you know, that girl's, you know, that stripper, she's only talking to you because you got a TV show. I know. And I'm like, yes, that's why I have a TV show. Thank you, son of TARD. Do you understand? The reason I'm in this strip club and talking to this girl is because I have a TV show. That's right. Because I went to a million strip clubs before I had a TV show and it sucked. Now it's good. And yes, that's why she's talking to me. And the only reason I'm talking to her is because she has a nice ass. And the only reason her mom was talking to her dad is because he had a car that was cool or because he was tall or the only, I mean, what's the only reason any supermodel, why do we like Cindy Crawford? Why does anyone like anybody? Why is Richard Gere in demand? Why do the ladies like him? Who cares? You are who you are. You're a black guy and you got a woman who has a racist parents and she likes you. No, she likes you. But then there's attraction. And that's a dynamic that can't be explained. So being black is a part of it. It's not eventually she'll like him.
28:10🔗
Adam
Okay, she likes him. You're fine, Martin. She likes you. I believe it. As a matter of fact, what you got is way better than like. You got a deep-rooted dynamic. That's why she's into you and that'll never die. And like. That's a good comment. Which would you rather have, though? Seriously, if you were interested in somebody, just close your mind, your mouth and your eyes up. How dare you? Quiet down for a second. Hold on. Listen to me. Are you listening? You got a puss on. Just listen to me. Would you, at 17, at 17, aha, aha, not at, what, at 55? Point is, at 17, there's a girl who you like, you like a lot. Would you rather her be a little bit screwed up and into you for unexplainable reasons, but compelled to be with you? Or liking you because you're a sweetheart of a guy?
29:09🔗
Adam
29, 30. The point is, you can never get rid of that. If someone's into you at that level, they're in.
29:20🔗
Drew
That one of the reasons that marriages break up is failed fantasies like this, failed idealized romantic illusions.
29:35🔗
Martin?
30:09🔗
Drew
Well, listen, we would usually say, just let the parents get to know you for you. So they start seeing you as a symbol of something.
30:16🔗
Caller
I'm going to like show up there and like, you know, in front door, you know, or call him.
30:22🔗
Caller
What's that? They let you hang out at their house? No, they may know that, you know, they don't, especially her dad, her dad's the worst. I mean, especially him.
30:31🔗
Adam
Listen, here's the problem, Martin. There's not a lot you're going to do about this in the short term. If you guys stay together and you persevere, here's the deal. All right, Martin, here's what I want to say. People, even if they're against a certain race, a certain ethnicity, a certain religion, eventually they will not know you as the black guy who's banging the bejesus out of their daughter, but they will know you as Martin.
31:01🔗
Adam
Who's banging the bejesus out of the daughter. Eventually they will know you as that if you can hang out long enough, but you can't bum rush them. You can't say I'm going to solve it this weekend. I'm going to go over there. I'm going to have a sit down. As a young man who's banging the bejesus out of someone's daughter, you should not want to see the parents anyway. Hey, I got news. I didn't want to see my parents when I was 17, much less anyone I was banging the bejesus out of, which was my pillow of sparrows. Here's my point. Don't confront it. Stay out of there. You know what? I'm convinced it's done more for racism, to hurt racism or, I guess, to enable racism over the years. I got home last night, Jesus Christ, it was 2.30 in the morning. I got home late last night. I turned on the TV. It was an episode of Good Times, okay, and in Light Clock Work. I turned it on and Mom, Florida, the mom, who decided to name the mom Florida, by the way? There's no other state that could have named her after. The point is that Florida came over and she said, JJ, how's the promotion going? And he said, well, Mom, I'm not going to get it. Why not, JJ? You're qualified for that promotion. The boss called me the office and said he had to give it to a white man. I thought to myself, thanks. Now I'm going to get my ass kicked. Great. Thanks, JJ. And it was some little Jewish guy wrote that, by the way. That's the funny part. Yeah. Okay. Yep. You're doing a lot to help things. Okay. We'll take ourselves a little break. You think the white guy, the white boss called him in and said, we got to give it to a white guy? Or do you think he would have just said, we're not giving it to you? No, he had to give it to the white guy. All right. Now I got to pay. Now I can't be a fireman. We'll take ourselves a break. We'll be back after this.
32:58🔗
Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.
33:18🔗
Adam
Here's Dr. Drew Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tomorrow night, we're going to be at the Television and Radio Museum.
33:47🔗
Adam
I know. I know. But I figured once I got on the, I thought when I got on the radio, it would be like, like in TV when someone's on the radio. And they go, they go into the market and the person goes, hey, I was here. I was listening to you last night. I agree wholeheartedly. Yeah. I don't get any of that. No, I don't think anyone listens. Is anyone listening? Yeah. It's really, it's really discouraging. I don't get invited to any parties or movie premieres.
34:17🔗
Adam
Yeah. I thought there'd be like award banquets and that'd be giving, you know, I'd be doing keynote addresses at graduations and things like that.
34:28🔗
Adam
I think we need a publicist. That's what do, hey, listen, I just want to say something to everyone who's listening out there. You do not know what a publicist is and I never knew what a publicist is. But whenever you see somebody who doesn't seem that talented and you see them all the time, everywhere, that's what a publicist does. You ever wonder why you just got an ass full of Jenna Elfman? Why certain people like Jennifer Love Hewitt? Why certain people you see everywhere all the time? Oh yes, that's a publicist. How dare you?
34:59🔗
Drew
A publicist adds a little momentum to all that, but it's the genius of television that really pushed that.
35:05🔗
Adam
No, it's the genius of TV with publicist. I mean, put it this way. Is anyone that interested in what Jenna Elfman's up to? Anybody?
35:21🔗
Adam
Oh yes. How dare you question my public-publican-acity. Anyway, there's these horrible, horrible people called publicists. They're really like gay attorneys. If you can, you know, like what would be worse than a gay attorney? You know what I'm saying, Drew? This is what a publicist is and you pay them $2,000 a month. And basically what they do is they force people to do stuff they don't want to do. They say, put Adam Corolla on your show. And the people go, who's Adam Corolla? And they go, he's that guy used to be on Love Line. And then he's on the Man Show. And they go, oh, I hate that guy. And they go, I know. But put him on or you don't get my other client, Jen Elfman. And they go, do we have to? And they go, oh yes. And then they force you to put them on your show. And then you get Rebecca Gahart going on before you when you do Kilbourne because her goddamn publicist forced it on them.
36:25🔗
Yes.
36:42🔗
Caller
I don't know. And I do take medication. And because the medication is antibiotics, it caused yeast infections before.
37:01🔗
Caller
It's like, well, there's a lot of stuff like gels and stuff, but the pill stuff is just another one.
37:32🔗
Adam
All right. So that was just a little carbuncle or something. That's a zit. Okay. Hey, listen, everybody. You can get a zit on your forehead. You sure as hell can get one on your nuts. Sure. Yeah, listen, I put a pair of underpants on my forehead and walked around all day sweating. I get one on my forehead, too.
37:57🔗
Adam
Lots of tension. Yeah, I got my looks like a Chia Pet down there with me. I got moss growing on my nuts.
38:05🔗
Adam
A little lichen running around. I had a gecko lizard that actually killed the praying mantis I had down there, which I originally put down there. The guy had a moth problem in my underpants. I thought praying mantis would get rid of it, but it turned out the gecko ate it. So I'm sorry. Yeah, now I'm feeding the gecko just grub worms and dump some of those down my pants every day.
38:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, find me at the pet store, dumping the grub worms down my underpants. Elisa, or Elsa.
38:33🔗
Hi.
38:44🔗
Adam
I'll tell you, man, my mom saw that Born Free, she went through a pair of panties. That's a real like hippie anthem movie.
38:51🔗
Caller
And then you were making so much fun of it that I told you that I was named after my grandmother who died in the Holocaust.
39:01🔗
Adam
Right, right. And then I remember I remember wondering if Elsa the Lion was named after your grandmother who was killed in the Holocaust.
39:12🔗
Caller
All right. Okay. This is somewhat similar to my last question. I and I doubt you remembered it. But anyway, here it goes.
39:20🔗
Adam
All right. Why don't you just take take a breather, baby? Got a lot of toot for a 14 year old, doesn't she?
39:27🔗
Drew
How are you possibly going to remember her last call? I mean, I may, which would be bizarre if I did, but I mean, I don't know. I just put the put, let's get a little reality going here, a little reality.
39:52🔗
Caller
I have a problem and it's a concern about my dad. And he's becoming a little bit more controlling as far go, you know, as our paths go or whatever. You know, as much as I live with him, the more I live with him, the more he becomes more controlling.
40:13🔗
Caller
Okay. I want. Okay. I'm not getting that good of a grade in science, but in other studies, I'm doing really well. So he's saying if I don't get this grade up, I can't play softball.
40:43🔗
Adam
Yeah. My family had this policy, which was if I don't get A's, they're not paying for college. On the other hand, if I get C's and D's, they're not paying for college. And if I got B's, A's, or D's, or any combination of any grades, or didn't go to school, or went to school made a valedictorian, they're not paying for college.
41:06🔗
Adam
Those were the two, those were the two they worked out early on. So you see, I had to work very hard in the classroom to overcome that.
41:13🔗
Oh, come on, have a drink.
41:22🔗
Drew
This is not controlling, this is just him closing in on you. He's just coming down on you.
41:35🔗
Caller
Yeah, well, she was. She was definitely. I even got a few Cs last year in middle school, and I was still able to play softball.
41:49🔗
Drew
A few Cs? Hey, a parent doesn't have to make that choice, but a good choice would have been like, hey, get your grades up, or that's it.
41:55🔗
Adam
Good choice. But listen, softball is part of school. It's not like she's going to some island and some sandals retreat or something. She's not going to play softball, because she's a pre-lesbian.
42:08🔗
Caller
What I'm trying to do is I'm trying to get a scholarship for softball to get in the college.
42:26🔗
Adam
Yeah, be average and a good, good athletics. That's fine. We need an A to get an athletic scholarship. What's the whole point of the athletic scholarship?
42:37🔗
Adam
Drew, you like to freak yourself out because you got your kids and you go, you don't know how competitive it is out there. You can't get into the good schools unless you have the top grades. They only take the top 5% of the classes out there. You don't really. First, you're going to get, your kids are going to go nuts. They're going to get ball up in a fetal position and they're going to have panic attacks like you did because you pound them, you pound the competition. Your kids will be fine. They'll go to a good school. They'll end up doing what they want to do. They'll be fine and she'll be fine with her B average and her softballs. She'll end up going somewhere good too. Know what I'm saying? Yeah. Alright.
43:18🔗
Drew
Particularly if the perception is, hey, you could do better. And you know what? I'm not helping you if I don't sit down and try to do something.
43:33🔗
Drew
If really she has some disability, she doesn't hate it, can't do it. Alright. Let it go.
43:38🔗
Adam
I remember my bad subject was English and algebra and biology and health and driver's ed. What was that one?
43:51🔗
Adam
Oh yeah. I mentioned history. Yeah, that was my, my killy's heel. You know my killy's heel as a student was?
44:04🔗
Adam
Yeah. But you want to talk ceramics, I'll show you C, brother. You know what I'm saying? Oh yes. Oh yes. The slab pot, coil pot, pinch pot. That's what I was known for. Still known around. Oh yes. The legend. The legend still echo through the halls of North Hollywood High about the pinch pot a young 17-year-old Adam Corolla made one day and fired and glazed. Oh yes. Genius. Yeah. And I'll tell you, my knowledge of ceramics pays dividends every single day. And that's why you guys should study. Study hard. Because what you learn in high school will come into play in your everyday life. When I was cleaning carpets and doing construction, I relied on my ceramics studies. I fell back on those many years, many, many a time. It got me through many a tough, tough night. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Matt. Matt is 17. Girlfriend always laughs when he tries to have sex with her. Wants to know what he should do after that. Hey, is that nice shot? Is that what we're listening to? Sounds like it.
45:56🔗
Was it Filter?
46:17🔗
Adam
No, I know that was, no, but the guys who used to come in here who had the, the one guy would always wear that fur, that fur like coonskin hat.
46:43🔗
Adam
No. The one guy wore the coonskin hat. They're real nice guys. We're like friends with them.
46:50🔗
Adam
Techno, sorta rock band, but they had a little techno to them. You know them well. They played like the K-Rock Halloween party.
47:01🔗
Adam
Okay. There you go. That's the great part about getting old, everybody. And then, you know the other good part about getting old? We'll forget about this and move on to something else almost immediately.
47:10🔗
Food.
47:21🔗
Caller
Um, like, whenever... It's not really when we have sex. It's kind of... Well, yeah, it is when we have sex. When I try to put it in, it's like she giggles too much, and I just can't... She won't let me put it in sometimes.
47:40🔗
Caller
No, she don't tell me why. She just giggles all the time, and then we just can't do it. And it kind of gets on my nerves sometimes, but...
48:21🔗
Drew
The band was on the TV show too. What's that? The Young Guys. Bleed Singer was kind of...
48:41🔗
Four or five?
49:07🔗
Guest
I have a Halloween story that just happened tonight, if you want me to share, and hopefully I got my problem.
49:18🔗
Guest
And we had about three dozen eggs and happened accidentally to egg the top weight lifter at our school.
49:28🔗
Oh.
49:30🔗
Did you?
50:16🔗
Guest
I have a minor acne problem that I've had ongoing for about a year now. And the first doctor prescribed me on tetracycline. But he screwed up in like the scheduling of the next appointment and made it for like half a year down the line and that doesn't really work. And so I went to a new doctor and he prescribed me on Tazorac. And also he gave me an internal medication called Doxical.
50:48🔗
So what's the question?
50:50🔗
Guest
It hasn't really been working and neither was the first doctor before. And I've been on the stuff for about a year now.
51:02🔗
Guest
Accutane, it didn't really have a whole lot of a... It worked kind of at first, but then it just kind of slowed down working. It hasn't really worked. It didn't really work.
51:12🔗
How long did you take it for?
51:15🔗
Drew
What dose? They may just not have given you enough. Sometimes it has to be a higher dose, but Accutane will work.
51:22🔗
Adam
Go back to the dermatologist. Maybe look for the Accutane. Drew, did you ever throw stuff at cars when you were a kid?
51:33🔗
Adam
To me, those cars, they were like target practice. Yeah, I got up on the, I told you this, I got up on the 7-Eleven, the roof of the 7-Eleven on Tohunga and Moorpark. And all 7-Elevens have a parapet roof. They have that, what's called a man's art. It goes in the front there, a parapet, in about three or four feet. I mean, if you stand, yeah, if you stand up on a 7-Eleven roof and stand by the edge, it'll go up to about your waist, which is good for ducking. Right. Got up there with me and James Hantley, got up there with a whole trash can full of water balloons one night when I was sleeping over at James' house about 12, 13 years old. Got up onto the roof and started chucking them at cars all night long. Eventually, we pulled over some guy in a Honda, almost got in an accident. He came up into the 7-Eleven and popped the hatch. There's a hatch in the storage room that gets you onto the roof. He came up and he was with the owner of the 7-Eleven. He dragged us down there. He was threatening to kill us. And it was great because he said, here's your choice, kids. Either you call your parents and they come down here and pick you up. It's about one in the morning. I was supposed to be sleeping over at his house. Or I call the cops. So I was, all right, what are you going to do? So I called my dad. Woke him up. Said, dad, you got to come down here and pick me up. And down to 7-Eleven, you know, I'm supposed to be sleeping over at James'. He was tired, you know, what's going on. But he drove down to 7-Eleven to come get me. James called his dad to have him come get him. But his stoner brother picked up the phone. His brother was like 17. It was like Spicoli. There was a one in the morning. He had done, you know, 15 bong lows. His brother picked the phone up. Yeah, hey, hey, Kurt, this is James. Get that. Dropped the phone and passed back out again.
53:24🔗
Adam
Now we keep calling. It's just busy. It's busy the whole time. The whole time is busy. And the guy's like, hey, all right, now I'm calling the cops. So now we got my dad and the cops showing up. So my dad shows up right when the cops show up. My dad, the guy pulled my dad aside. The cop, you know when they try to scare kids? It was throwing a missile is what it's called, by the way. And you know when cops, you know, they do this, you go, listen, it don't make a difference where you're throwing a water balloon or hand grenade. It is the same. It is a felony. Same crime. You think to yourself, jeez, I'm 13. I don't know the law, but I'll bet you there's some difference. Even for my warped little 13 year old.
54:07🔗
Adam
Oh, it was great. Yeah, the guy said, the guy looked at me and goes, if you were 18, I'd kick your ass. I said, if I was 18, I'd be kicking your ass.
54:16🔗
Adam
No, I said to the guy who was in the Honda. Well, it's true. I was 18. I was 210 pounds. I could kick this ass. I knew it. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back. I'm gonna start a band. Oh, Disturbed, yeah, it's the name of that band. I like that song. They're coming in here next week? Yep. That's right, and the Vandals are going to be here next week, and then we're going to be in Beverly Hills at the Television and Radio Museum tomorrow night. All right, you ready to roll along here, Drew?
55:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, they used to be a big concern. Some kid would always catch on fire. Oh, he'd be wearing that plastic smock with the warlock outfit and that hair, and it turns out someone threw a rock into the bonfire and the kid went up like a Roman candle. Just don't hear about it. Maybe it's because I'm old and I don't have kids, but I used to be catching on fire, like I said. When I was young, I was convinced I was going to either be killed by the hillside strangler or dying quicksand or catch on fire. Still time. You know what I'm saying? It could happen. It could happen.
56:21🔗
Yeah.
56:31🔗
Caller
Yes. Okay. When he did blood tests to check my testosterone levels, they were incredibly low. So I've been on testosterone injections, 40 milligrams, I think it is.
56:58🔗
Drew
Yours are very low. Thank you. And these are very difficult things to measure because they really are different ranges of normal for different people. It's not as though you can accurately render population ranges of normal and be really accurate. So for instance, Sarah here, I would say, and this is very interesting when people want to talk about the difference between men and women, what's often reported is women when they take testosterone are suddenly like, wow, this is what men have to deal with. Oh my God.
57:30🔗
Caller
Well, I already had an incredibly high libido to begin with, which my doctor was very surprised by.
57:35🔗
So now with the testosterone...
57:38🔗
Caller
No, actually, it's the other way around with the injections. It's actually way higher now.
57:58🔗
Drew
Is that this is a case in point that helps people sort of acknowledge the differences between men and women. The women that get put on testosterone are suddenly very sympathetic to what men's views of sexuality are, what they have to deal with all the time.
58:17🔗
Drew
And even then it's a small version of what men are dealing with. It's a different system and it's even still substantially lower levels of testosterone.
58:24🔗
Adam
Okay, Drew, no one's interested in what you're saying. But listen to me. What's your question? Listen to me.
58:29🔗
Adam
Everyone listen to me. Every man has some estrogen in him and every woman has some testosterone in her. And the point is, is even though you're a woman, you do need a certain amount of testosterone in you. And you could have a low level of testosterone and that wouldn't be a good thing as a woman, right?
58:51🔗
Adam
You listening to me? So, and as a man, could you have a low estrogen level? How come you don't hear about men needing estrogen shots?
59:25🔗
Adam
Is that why the ones that are like men are smart, like Janet Reno, high testosterone level? Testosterone, that's the brain food, right?
59:47🔗
Adam
Okay, here's my point. My Aunt Pat, she's like a man. She's got a mustache. The smartest woman I know. See what I'm saying? Yeah. Now listen, and your wife is very beautiful. Do you see what I'm saying, Drew? Now listen to me. If a woman has low testosterone, then she has to get injections of testosterone.
1:00:19🔗
Drew
But they're beginning to correlate testosterone levels in women with things like libido and with sexual interests.
1:00:31🔗
Drew
Testosterone works against health primarily. Changes your lipids. You know, the life, the decreased life expectancy of males is probably predominantly a testosterone issue.
1:00:44🔗
Adam
Right. Okay. Let me look at it this way. You got two trucks. They're bought in the same year. Okay. Two Ford F-150 pickup trucks, both bought in the same year. Right. One is out hauling hay and plowing and pulling other trucks out of mud. They've been stranded. And the other is sitting in the bar and eating bonbons. Which truck lasts longer?
1:01:23🔗
Caller
Well, I guess my question is, is there a direct connection between my libido actually getting higher and the testosterone?
1:01:37🔗
Drew
Well, this is my opening point, which is that women are often shocked and bewildered by what testosterone does to them.
1:01:45🔗
Drew
And it is too much of a good thing if it's uncomfortable to you and you need to report that back to your doctor. These may be intolerable side effects of...
1:01:58🔗
Adam
She likes it if she wants it. She wants it. She don't mind liking it. That's the way she feels.
1:02:12🔗
Caller
I love the sex, but it's beginning to dominate my life in a way that I don't appreciate.
1:02:27🔗
Drew
This is what... This is my point when I talk to people about the differences between men and women. It's different and women don't appreciate what men have to deal with.
1:02:49🔗
Caller
Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, a couple months ago, probably about five months ago, because I had abnormal cells when I went to the gynecologist.
1:02:57🔗
Caller
Yeah. And the doctor said that they could have been cancerous. Right. And I have always used protection and I've always been very careful.
1:03:28🔗
Okay, so how do I?
1:03:30🔗
Caller
Because he just said, well, come back. Well, then he gave me another like a test and he said, well, maybe we're going to have to, you know. He said, come back. He took it like all nonchalant.
1:03:40🔗
Drew
Like, okay, we'll come back and we'll just see if it's more than half women out there have this thing and it's something that can give you cervical cancer. So it needs to be watched very carefully. I am sure he sees it all the time.
1:03:53🔗
Hello.
1:04:03🔗
Drew
Although here it is sort of taunting you, isn't it? The toilet is such a mess. The walls caving in.
1:04:09🔗
Adam
No, there's a urinal here. I like the urinal. And the sink is not laid out for urinating in here. There's too much space between the edge of the counter and the beginning of the sink.
1:04:22🔗
Adam
I can't make it. I guess if I got a running start. Yeah, I have to just pee in Drew's coffee mug and dump it down the sink. That's the only compromise I have here. Yeah, it's rough. What's going on there, Bill?
1:04:45🔗
Caller
I was abused by my father when he was trying to potty train me. What did he do? He was the Adolf Hitler of potty training.
1:04:59🔗
Drew
You know, it just reminds me of the story about what's the author's name? The authored Pinhead and all those horror movies.
1:05:09🔗
Drew
Clive Barker. Clive Barker. All those great stories were generated from his having been abused by his grandmother.
1:05:17🔗
Adam
Yeah. She told him all these great stories about what big black men would do to him in the bathroom of the subway.
1:05:54🔗
Drew
Well, that s interesting. I was going to say that a common fear that young young children have is that they re going to get swallowed up by the toilet.
1:06:04🔗
Drew
Yeah. Bill, so far, no humans ever fell down and got sucked into a toilet. No snakes ever come up the toilet and bite people. No alligators in the toilet ever.
1:06:24🔗
Adam
What about the boogie man? He come through the toilet and sodomize you? Put his head in your ass?
1:06:34🔗
Yeah.
1:06:36🔗
Adam
Just because you were a kid and you're stupid and your dad was an idiot, does that mean you gotta go through your whole life that way? Can you just get on with it?
1:06:55🔗
Adam
You guys ever take the, uh, Drew, you ever go to a parking garage and take the stairs off to the side that are in between instead of taking the elevator?
1:07:07🔗
Adam
That is a urinal. The stairs in a parking. The number one place to urinate are stairs in a parking structure.
1:07:19🔗
Adam
No. Well, in California. It is stairs that are off to the side in a parking structure. Sometimes there are seven, eight stories.
1:07:27🔗
Drew
Yeah, but oftentimes they're outdoors. You know what I mean? They're sort of outside stairways. You're talking about the inside ones.
1:07:38🔗
Adam
No, no parking structure. Parking, multi parking structure stairs. Yeah, number one place to urinate. Like go to a mall, go to parking, that parking structure. You rarely use the stairs, but if you do get ready, you open that door. It's a, it's the yellow tornado. It just, it just overtakes you. It's actually warmer in there from people urinating.
1:08:05🔗
Um, my boyfriend's, um, roommate.
1:08:09🔗
Caller
He is an alcoholic and he's out of control. And we try to confront him while he's drunk, but that doesn't work too well. And so I was wondering if you knew a way to confront him.
1:08:22🔗
Well, the problem is, is he's drunk all the time.
1:08:30🔗
No, he's 43.
1:08:38🔗
Caller
He moved up here from Texas, and he didn't really have a place to stay. He was staying at a hotel, and he was working for my boyfriend's dad, and his boyfriend's dad said, oh, just stay with my son for a little while.
1:08:50🔗
Drew
Why don't you get a hold of your boyfriend's dad and have him work on this guy a little bit?
1:09:08🔗
Adam
When I talk about people painting fruit, is it talking about painting the fruit or painting a picture of the fruit?
1:09:18🔗
Yeah?
1:09:27🔗
Well, we tried repeatedly.
1:09:31🔗
Adam
Well, your brother, your brother needs to, I mean, your boyfriend needs to leave, then. Whose place is it?
1:09:35🔗
It's his.
1:09:39🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, no, he rents it, but he was here first. And this guy just kind of moved in and he...
1:09:47🔗
Oh, I see.
1:09:50🔗
Adam
So, I listen. Okay. Let me... Let me... Okay. Here's what I want to say to all of you out there right now. Drew, back me up. I'm pointing my finger, right? It means I'm serious.
1:10:03🔗
Adam
Thank you. That's my high horse, which is once again, escape from the barn. And I'm closing my eyes, which means I'm really focused.
1:10:11🔗
Adam
You'll have a lot of horrible roommates in your life, everybody. Drew, you don't know it. You don't know about it. You don't know about this part of life because you don't come from the wrong side of the tracks. Poor people have to huddle together with other poor people in order and share things that should never be shared. Men sharing things, sharing futons. Do you know what I mean? I slept on the same futon as the weeds for years. I had bunk beds at 21. Bunk beds. Three guys living in a one bedroom dump in North Hollywood. It's horrible. No privacy. You know, my friend Chris couldn't get laid. I couldn't whack off in peace.
1:10:55🔗
Adam
Well, I actually did, yeah. That actually helped with my whacking off. But the point is, oh yes, the weeds peeking around the corner. The tough part is when Chris' chicks would pass out in the living room, and we'd have to try to make it into the kitchen, and it'd be like this nude girl passed out on the floor. We'd be like tip-toeing over her to make it into the kitchen at 3 in the morning.
1:11:23🔗
For what?
1:11:24🔗
Adam
Why are we going into the kitchen? Well, it's 3 in the morning. You want to chug a Gatorade or something, or, you know, a AGO. You know, you got the munchies, you've been smoking pot. Here's my point. I don't care who put the cleaning deposit down. I don't care if the guy owes you 118 bucks. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. Get out of there. There's nothing worse than a bad roommate. Cut your losses. Get out. The guy's liable to kill. He's going to get drunk, and he's going to take a fireplace poker and put it through the small of your back while you're asleep. Get out. Just get out. So you lose a couple hundred bucks, whatever. Get out. All of you with your screwball roommates, just get out. Just make plans and move out. Thank you. Anthony?
1:12:32🔗
All right.
1:12:42🔗
Adam
Why do they... Why does that sound... Why does Nice Shot remind me... Why do I think of Nice Shot as Gravity Kills?
1:12:48🔗
Caller
Well, they both, like, scream a lot. Actually, Gravity Kills sounds more like Nine Inch Nails, I think. They sing that song Guilty.
1:12:58🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I keep thinking Nice Shot was Gravity Kills. Maybe it was Filter that came on the night after that was explaining...
1:13:11🔗
Adam
This is Nice Shot, right? Oh, Godsmack. Do they do Nice Shot? Who does Nice Shot? Well, this is the same song. Do you have Do you have Nice Shot by Filter?
1:13:33🔗
Adam
This riff doesn't sound like it this part, but the other part does, the beginning. Not this part.
1:13:43🔗
Adam
Yeah, this part. This is Nice Shot. Come on. It's the exact same. I know. I know. Okay, thank you. Well, you rock, you rock, Drew. Alright, so Gravity Kills. Emily. Yes. You're 30. What's up?
1:14:07🔗
Caller
I, my husband has fantasies, and I think they bridge on being kind of cruel. Well, I know they're cruel. I hate to even admit this, but he has them and when he first started verbalizing all this stuff, it was probably about seven years ago, and he always, he words it, and it's so real.
1:14:40🔗
Caller
Like, well, like he says that he's been with them, or like this whole huge contorted story about, you know, and it makes me jealous.
1:14:59🔗
Drew
Well, he sounds profoundly insecure. Doesn't that, the Adam smack of like, I can't tell you what I've done to the whole neighborhood.
1:15:10🔗
Caller
Yeah, one time it got to the point. I've lost, I've lost good friends, female friends, because I've confronted them and said, you know, has this been going on? No, I mean, it's horrible. It's horrible.
1:15:52🔗
Adam
Shut up. He's never been with any of these people. And you've lost friends because you've confronted them?
1:16:04🔗
Caller
Well, my friend, they've been insulted that I would even think that they would do that to me.
1:16:12🔗
Adam
Yeah, that doesn't usually lose your friend. The person says, no, and that's about it. Are you sure you weren't insulted when they started laughing and said, that fat sack? There ain't enough gold bullion in Fort Knox to let that oaf get on top of me.
1:16:31🔗
Caller
No, I mean, I just don't want to be in a crazy situation. I feel like I'm crazy. And I'm not.
1:16:51🔗
Adam
Oh, Julie. Okay. Your husband says, hey, Emily, you know, I've been banging the bejesus out of this Julie and she is hot and she is tight and I've done her a million times. Is that what he's saying?
1:17:23🔗
Adam
Yeah. Drew, here's, here's... If Drew tried to pull that ruse on his wife, he'd be running, screaming. The neighbors would just hear reports of a guy yelling, I was kidding, I was kidding. And she was being beaten with a, a sprinkler key as he ran through his yard nude.
1:17:45🔗
Adam
Listen, why did you say to your husband, what, are you high? What are you talking about? Why are you bringing this up? What's wrong with you? Do you believe you've done this? Are you trying to upset me? What is this?
1:19:03🔗
Adam
How did you say things? Hey, hey. Oh, screw you. Screw you, you old hag. See you in hell. Screw yourself. Things. Go screw yourself. Go have your... I hope your nutty husband bangs every one of your friends. I'm done with everybody. I'm Adam, that's Drew. Tomorrow night, we'll be at the Television and Radio Museum, which is in Beverly Hills, broadcasting the show while allegedly a group full of people watch us. Is that true?
1:20:00🔗
Adam
I see. I bet we put eleven people in those seats, and I'll bet you three of them are there into the twelve o'clock hour.
1:20:25🔗
Caller
Well, you know, I was listening to Dr. Drew driving home, and I know of a couple of cases where a snake came out of the toilet and bit a guy. And then I know when there was rats coming out of the toilet also and bit a woman.
1:20:40🔗
Caller
Well, one was Cameron Bay, where the guy got bit and it was he died on a toilet. And the guy went in and found him was bit.
1:21:03🔗
Caller
No, I work for the city. I had to install backflow devices to keep the rats from going into the people's houses.
1:21:16🔗
Adam
That's a good gig. Ted, get down in the sewer, the rant-infested sewer, and install backflow devices on the heads.
1:21:43🔗
Drew
Yeah, so the backflow only goes one way, and then the trap door shuts, and the rats can't come out of the sewer. Absolutely safeguard against this happening.
1:21:57🔗
Adam
Yeah, rats can get through there. Rats can do it. Rats can go. I heard a story where a rat crawled in a guy's ass and went out as urethra. That happened to a buddy of mine in the service. Why is it when you're in the service, everything happens? All right, so when you're in Vietnam, a guy got bit by a snake on the can.
1:22:38🔗
Adam
Yeah, you want to go out to Arizona and take a cramp out in the desert, you might get bit by a rattlesnake. Yeah. Doesn't mean... You were killed. Let me tell you.
1:22:48🔗
Drew
I would love to know the last time a rat actually made it into a home, into any sort of public toilet, for that matter.
1:22:54🔗
Adam
Elvis died on the throne. He was the last great man to die on the throne. But yeah, toilets have a... Let me tell you guys a quick toilet story.
1:23:04🔗
Adam
Toilets have a trap. Everything has a trap. Everything that goes into a sewer, whether it's your sink, your dishwasher, whatever, they have traps. They have air gaps. So that the stink from the sewer can't come up out of the drain. You wonder why the drain doesn't smell in your sink, although it does go down to the sewers because of the trap that's at the bottom of the thing. Toilets have that too. One time my friend, he left his dog with me. Alright? This is when I was living in dump number two in North Hollywood. I rented a house across the street from the crampy apartment I had. This dog had a hard rubber ball. The guy was a juggler. Philip the Juggler we called him. You know why?
1:23:51🔗
Adam
Philip the Juggler. Working in Branson. That's right. Opening for Andy Williams. Ha ha. I used to think he was a big star. Now who's laughing? Alright. Here's the point.
1:24:01🔗
Adam
He had this dog named Mocha. And I looked after this dog while he was juggling somewhere. And this dog used to play with his juggling balls, which were full silicone. Just a hard chunk, I think, of like vulcanized rubber or something. They were not hollow. And they're the size of a tennis ball, but they were hard. This dog used to play with this thing. And apparently this dog got thirsty and went to drink out of my toilet and dropped this ball into my toilet. This ball then went down around where I couldn't see it. But it got wedged in that trap inside the toilet. So I come in there. I take a crap. This thing's overflowing.
1:24:40🔗
Adam
Okay. Now, when you're poor, you can't call the Roto-Rooter guy because it's 85 bucks for the guy to get out of his van. So you're a resourceful guy. What do you do? You rent a snake. And I'm wedging this snake down the toilet, but it's hitting this ball, which is solid silicone, and it is wedged into this thing. And I'm pushing it in further. And I'm going, why can't I get this snake into this toilet? And it's going in about three inches to the point where I can't see the end of it. And then it's just coiling up. I can't move it. And I'm actually shoving the ball further in. So then what do I do? I unbolt the toilet, unscrew the toilet from the ground, lift the toilet up and move it. And now I look down that hole. Nothing. Or what's the next move? Get up on the roof with the garden hose. See, sometimes knowing how stuff works screws even more because you get in deeper instead of just crying and calling the plumber. Now I'm up on the roof with the garden hose, putting it down the breather vent. Because toilets, they all have your sink, your toilets, they have to breathe, they have a vent. Those little two-inch pipes you see coming out of people's roofs, that's not for exhaust or a fireplace or anything. That's the plumbing breather. Put the hose down there and try to blow out whatever's down there. Hose down, nothing. Now, now more stuff down the drain. Can't figure out why until I eventually actually like turn the toilet over and examine it and see the ball that is wedged up in there that mocha stuff. Yeah, great, got a day. Dog just carry around his mouth, drop it in there, get a drink and my day's ruined. Oh, boy.
1:26:25🔗
Yeah.
1:26:41🔗
Adam
I don't know. Some people are so theatrical that when they do stuff, they have to make the noises. It's like they're making a movie about turning the radio down. You know what I mean? Hold on. Let me turn it down. Plink. Bang. Get up. Squeak, squeak, squeak on the wood floor. Someone added sound effects to this. Kamal?
1:27:17🔗
Caller
Well, my girlfriend, she has a problem, and she doesn't want to admit it to me. You know, alcohol, my major in Wayne State is psychology. And I've looked at a, I've seen, all my life, I've been around people who drink. And when they drink there, if maybe I'm mistaken, but you tell me if I'm right or wrong, when they drink, they turn it to totally different people.
1:27:52🔗
Caller
Well, you know, and about a week ago, we got into it. She came in the house, she came home drunk and she wanted to fight with me. And I've never put my hands on a woman. I think that that's the most cowardly thing you can do is put your hands on a woman. And she put her hands in my face like, you know, like she wanted to test me and see what kind of man I was. And I didn't know what to do. You know, so I told her to leave. Well, now, she's packing her things. Now, she come in the house tonight drunk. She's leaving out the door. Now, she's packing all her things and she wants to leave. It's like every time we get into a small argument about something, she wants to pack her things and leave.
1:28:37🔗
Caller
That's what I say the same thing. She doesn't want to come. I said, why don't you talk to my man Adam? Because I watch the show every day.
1:28:48🔗
Caller
She doesn't want to come to the phone, Adam. She's out the door. She's walking down the hallway right now.
1:28:59🔗
Adam
All right, all right, listen, listen, listen. Let her keep walking. She's an alcoholic, good. Let her go.
1:29:10🔗
Caller
The thing about it, I don't want to abandon her. I don't want, I don't want, I don't want her to feel like, well...
1:29:20🔗
Caller
Well, I've been knowing her for about a year now. And for the last six months, everything's been different because of the alcohol. All right. She would drink myself.
1:29:31🔗
Drew
Kamala would have to be treated, or this isn't going to change. And if she's not willing to change, not willing to get treatment, this ain't going anywhere. So probably the best thing is if she does leave.
1:29:40🔗
Adam
Dave, listen, everybody. Your alcoholic antagonistic girlfriend leaving you is not the world's worst thing.
1:29:50🔗
Drew
It's a shame. It could have been an opportunity for her to get better. And if she were willing, but she doesn't sound willing at all, the relationship isn't worth enough.
1:29:56🔗
Adam
All right. Let me say this. Doesn't it seem like most people, when they're talking about an addiction, whether it's booze, sex, or pills, what have you, there's sort of a cycle. It has a cycle, a life. It has a life.
1:30:14🔗
Adam
Yeah. It's like this guy's going to be an alcoholic from 17 to 22. It has a predictable course. From 17 to 27. It's kind of a thing. And sometimes you get there at the beginning. Sometimes you show up in the middle. And hopefully sometimes you show up at the end or even after the end. Kamal may have shown up toward the beginning of this.
1:30:35🔗
Adam
Well, she just started 6 months ago, he said. Sounds like the beginning. Here's my point. She may be another 2 or 3 years off of this thing. Fine. Do it. You know, you be compassionate. You do what you can do. But if she's not going to listen to you.
1:30:51🔗
Adam
That's it. She wants to self-destruct, she's going to self-destruct. Alright, Drew, let's take a little break.
1:32:07🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna get some glasses. You know, like celebrities always wear glasses when they get interviewed. You never see them in the movies, but they always have glasses. I gotta get some of those glasses.
1:32:32🔗
Guest
Me and my boyfriend had sex yesterday for the first time, right? And like it was cool. I think it hurt, you know, but now when I sit down, like it hurts and I feel like I have a rash or something.
1:32:40🔗
Drew
You're gay. Well, it could be some hemorrhoids or tearing, could be all kinds of things and take warm baths.
1:32:45🔗
Caller
But if it doesn't get better, you can't say when I was in the bathroom, like, you know, in a wet mess, I'm like, yeah.
1:32:50🔗
Drew
So and you saw cream, hot baths and then see the doctor. If it doesn't get better, quick.
1:33:08🔗
Adam
Well, he actually screwed it up. I don't know if he screwed it up, but he said... Now, here's how it goes. You see, you go Wendy, right? And then you go, when my nuts are in your mouth or something. But you gotta give the proper response, which is like...
1:33:34🔗
Adam
Listen, all you guys who want to do like prank calls and stuff, fine. I don't care. I work for two hours, I go home. I prefer not to talk to people who are actually raped. You know what I mean? Like I'd rather talk to a 17-year-old guy who really wasn't sodomized by his boyfriend. I hope you're all jokes. I really do. I wish every call on this show was made up.
1:34:10🔗
Caller
I think it's great what you guys are doing. My question is for Dr. Drew. I've been smoking pot down here on a daily basis for since I was 12, 13. I was wondering if that would slow my development, growing?
1:34:36🔗
Adam
Okay. So, the answer is no to the part about stature and yes to the part about stature...
1:34:50🔗
Adam
No will not affect your height. Yes, it will affect your grasp of the English language.
1:34:56🔗
Drew
As you're finding, it's profoundly addictive for some people and you're going to have to be treated for this. It doesn't stop by itself.
1:35:02🔗
Drew
And depression, anxiety, forgetfulness, panic attacks, all these are sort of common outcomes. Usually they get better, but they get worse for the first six months after you try stopping.
1:35:12🔗
Drew
And there's some studies about growth and what not. The main issue, the main problem... Would you put that at home, please?
1:35:19🔗
Drew
The main problem with what's been observed is some shrinkage of frontal lobes in teenagers.
1:35:26🔗
Drew
And that means the sorts of developmental and coping strategies you need to be using, you can't because your brain matter isn't even there to be able to develop those systems.
1:35:51🔗
Caller
Yeah. I was wanting to ask a boy out tomorrow, but I'm like afraid he'll reject me or something.
1:36:03🔗
Drew
Well, this is the thing that young women are learning they have to deal with if they're gonna be assertive, and they should be, but the potential of rejection is always there. Yeah, that's what the males are dealing with all the time. And if you want to search yourself, that's great.
1:36:42🔗
Adam
Yeah. Sure as genitalia is like a hamburger meat down there. These guys, all they do is slide their nuts on railings. They're no good anymore. Thank God these guys can't reproduce. They do a smoke weed and drag their nuts on hand railings all day.
1:36:59🔗
Adam
They don't sell you a skateboard unless you're stoned. It's true. I know a guy who worked at a surf shop said he would not sell a guy a surfboard unless he could prove he was stoned. Once in a while, the parent would have to come in and prove the parent was stoned and they'd give them the skateboard.
1:37:52🔗
Adam
No, I know. Drew thinks everyone's fat. You know, I'm the same way. It's like I'm really hot and everyone tells me how hot I am, but I don't think...
1:38:02🔗
Adam
I don't think that way, you know? I mean, I know I'm hot and everyone else knows I'm hot and worn on the street is I'm hot.
1:38:29🔗
Adam
You come up to me. All right. I'm in the hallway. I'm in the hallway. I got my skateboard.
1:38:40🔗
Adam
Hey. Not so good. My nuts are killing me. I'm just dragging them on a rail. Yeah. I can't have kids. I'm in a lot of pain in my groin. How are you doing, Stephanie?
1:38:59🔗
Adam
I see. Yeah. Mine are killing me. I've been skateboarding and dragging them on these rails. Yeah. How would you feel if your nuts were dragged 20 feet on a rail?
1:39:14🔗
Adam
He'll ask you out. All right, princess? Okay. Yeah. Have a couple of wine coolers before you get out of there.
1:39:30🔗
Adam
Stephanie, you just go, here's all you need to do and here's all women need to do. Go up, pay a little bit of attention to a guy. That is equivalent to asking him out.
1:39:47🔗
Adam
You're going to chill him out. Yeah. Okay. Oh my god. If you're at a party and you're talking to a guy and there's a little lull in the conversation and you don't go anywhere, you're still there, you fight through the lull, it's just the same as asking him out. It really is. Touching? Touching a guy. Make an excuse, touch him, doing a hand drag on his shoulder. You're so funny.
1:40:18🔗
Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.
1:40:27🔗
Adam
Yeah. We're going to take a little extendo break here, about 22 hours worth, and we'll be coming to you tomorrow night from fabulous Beverly Hills. That's where the Beverly Hillbillies lived. And we'll be doing, working from the Radio and Television Museum. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1:40:51🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.