2:46🔗
Now it's time for Loveline on Zone 105.
3:18🔗
All right.
3:22🔗
Hey, it's Loveline and Adam Corolla.
3:24🔗
Adam
Well, as Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Carrot Top is going to be in here in just a couple of moments. The phenomenon known as Carrot Top is going to be in here. I got to find out about that Vegas.
3:54🔗
Adam
I'm not a draw like Carrot Top is. All right. So Carrot Top's run a little bit late and God knows where he is, but I think he may got locked in that trunk of his. He's going to be in here in just a few minutes. Until then, we'll go to Colson and Sane Clown Posse tomorrow night. Always a delight for those young gents.
4:14🔗
Yeah.
4:15🔗
Adam
I'm bringing, I'm going to smuggle a shiv in through the metal detector. Little, little insurance in case the posse gets out of hand.
4:25🔗
Oh, man.
4:27🔗
All right, man, I've been trying to go home, you guys, forever.
4:31🔗
Adam, you're definitely the main man, man, ace.
4:34🔗
Andrew, well, you're a pretty cool, pretty cool guy, too.
4:38🔗
Okay. Okay.
4:39🔗
Well, here's my question.
4:41🔗
Okay. Every time I, I just started having sex about two weeks ago. Yeah. And every time we've done it, I'm having a huge problem with losing myself to a man.
4:57🔗
Maybe a couple of minutes.
5:10🔗
Oh, I do.
5:13🔗
Not on a regular basis, not since, well, about two weeks ago. Cause that's, that's when I first noticed the problem. And then I started doing it probably about daily.
5:23🔗
Drew
I'd say having sex or masturbating, masturbating. And did that help you in the, in the real thing?
5:30🔗
Well, I tried it for about three days. And then the next time it sure didn't seem to help very much. Okay.
5:36🔗
Adam
When I'm a little bit confused, are you losing your erection or are you having premature ejaculation when you're with a woman?
5:43🔗
Okay.
5:45🔗
Okay. I'm having sex. Which one?
5:49🔗
I'm not really sure.
5:51🔗
Adam
Are you losing your erection? The erection is the hard thing that your penis turns into sometimes in the middle of the night, other times in the middle of biology class when you've chosen to wear sweatpants and no underwear.
6:04🔗
Yeah.
6:04🔗
Adam
Or that's your erection. Are you losing that erection when you're with a woman? Or are you having premature ejaculation, which is deliquid, not urine, not pee-pee, but the white stuff that comes out of that erection when you're having sex?
6:25🔗
It would be premature ejaculation.
6:27🔗
Okay.
6:28🔗
Drew
So, you're two weeks into his... He's never had sex before, he's two weeks into it, he's excited, he's trying to masturbate more, he's trying to get control of things.
6:38🔗
Drew
Yeah, you're on the right road, it's going to take a little while to work this out. Just don't freak out about it.
6:43🔗
Adam
See, guys are a little embarrassed about the shooting their gun off too early, so they say, I lose my erection or I lose it halfway into it.
7:05🔗
Drew
Didn't you tell me though, that you didn't even get a chance to remove the gun from the holster first time out, right?
7:14🔗
Adam
How dare you? And how dare you bring that up? That did not happen. The first time out, I did not achieve an orgasm.
7:41🔗
Yeah.
7:44🔗
Yeah. Drew?
7:46🔗
Yeah.
7:46🔗
I was reading in time about early female mature.
7:52🔗
And they quoted you and you said that MTV was one of the factors in early puberty.
8:02🔗
Drew
I find that kind of interesting because I remember doing an interview. I wasn't aware it was for time. And they were sort of like pushing me. What about this? What about that? And I said, Well, look, there's all this provocative stimulation and we don't know whether or not that could induce something like early puberty. There's all sorts of theories about what's in your milk and what's in your beef and what's in the chicken and the hormones circulating around. But a lot of the theories are about the kind of stimulation kids are getting. And if you look at MTV, that's a pretty stimulating, provocative kind of thing.
8:33🔗
I think it's weird how they were pushing you and then they said that your quote was nutty.
8:40🔗
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they did.
8:42🔗
Oh, at mayonnaise, you kick ass.
8:43🔗
Adam
Yeah, thanks. What are you doing reading Time magazine at 14? I'm 36. I won't read that brag. It's too boring.
8:50🔗
Yeah, I have to do my work. Really?
8:56🔗
No, no, actually, I go to Beverly High. All right.
8:58🔗
Adam
Well, that's like a prep school. Beverly Hills High has an oil well on the property. For those of you who don't know Beverly Hills High, they think it's a joke. It isn't.
9:11🔗
Adam
They got an oil well pumping out on the property and they got the swim gym there. They got the basketball floor that opens up with the gym, with the pool underneath it.
9:38🔗
Adam
Yeah, all right, we'll have to pick that up. And why do you think girls, and how is this documented?
10:15🔗
Right, all right.
10:16🔗
Adam
And how could that be stimulation? You know what I mean? From the environment. Wouldn't that have to be hormones or something?
10:27🔗
Drew
That's the point. And that needs to be, it needs to be studied. That's my point. I mean, bizarre. They would quote me in that. That's just bizarre.
10:48🔗
Adam
I don't know, because it's a biological phenomenon. But it didn't seem like it'd be brought on by a sort of factor that wasn't ingested somehow. Do you know what I'm saying?
11:03🔗
Yeah.
11:11🔗
Caller
This just started happening recently, but whenever I have sex, it kind of hurts to the point where it gets like really dry down there and it starts hurting really bad, like a burning sensation.
11:44🔗
Adam
You sure you're not even thinking about this? You're answering too quickly. I don't trust you. Why do you think?
11:53🔗
Adam
We usually when a woman, I mean, when a woman dries up and she's not on medication or drunk or something, it means she's not so turned on.
12:54🔗
Drew
Get checked out. See if there's anything else going on that could be contributing to this?
13:00🔗
Adam
Can you just use some more lube if the old lube you had was sucked up by that shop vac you got down there?
13:30🔗
Adam
Yeah. You think that dry penis. Wait till that dry baby head comes out of there. You're going to die.
13:46🔗
Adam
Yeah. How does it work? You just take your life and just sort of hang it out the window into the wind and just see what blows in.
14:20🔗
Adam
Why? They can't make water base that has some thickness to it? What about you do what I do? You take Astraglide and you put a little flower in it. You thicken it up like you're making gravy.
14:32🔗
Adam
I go one part, one 45 ounce bottle of Astraglide to one pound sack of gold metal Durham flour. Make a nice paste, put that on the Johnson.
14:53🔗
Adam
What if I take a talc and mix that with Astraglide? Make sort of a lube putty that smells good. Vaginal putty. What do you think, Drew?
15:12🔗
Adam
Okay. Here's my point. If you put that on, I mean, okay, here's what I want to say. I know about mechanics and I know that if you don't take axles and put oil on them because it dissipates way too quickly, you put grease on it, right? So it won't dissipate, right? So it won't go anywhere. This is dissipating. I mean, you take lubrication, put it on your penis, it falls off. What about really?
15:40🔗
Adam
I'm talking about packing some on. I think that's why does it have to be petroleum based to be viscous? Couldn't something be, you know what I'm saying?
15:50🔗
Adam
Not everything that's thick is petroleum based. Cool Whip isn't petroleum based. Whatever.
16:02🔗
Caller
Hey, do you have any more stories about like the parrot that you told last night? Any more bird stories?
16:13🔗
Adam
I used to take my stopwatches and crush it in its beak. Yeah. I don't have any more those stories.
16:29🔗
Adam
It would walk all the way across the ropes to get to my stopwatch and then crush it with its beak.
16:37🔗
Adam
Times were tight back then, too. That thing was like 18 bucks for one of those digital ones. It put the beak right through it. How bizarre was it that I would bring the one that he already broke and use it as a decoy. It would go around that one and get to the new one. Parrot. You know the thing about a macaw or any parrot? They're hard to discipline. Think about that for a second. A bird does something.
17:05🔗
Adam
I like when you start talking. Your dog, you're calling it mister. Mister, you can go down to the basement and you can just think about what you did to daddy's bathrobe.
17:17🔗
Adam
Think. I want you to think about it. Think about what you did. Animals are easy. Kids, even cats, you can whack with something. But a macaw, what do you do with that thing when it goes wrong? You punish it? You smack it?
17:32🔗
Adam
You try to smack it. Or a bunch of feathers are going flying around and start screaming.
17:45🔗
Adam
A bone, it's like paper thin. It's like a little chicken rib bone or something. There's nothing you can do to a macaw. No way to discipline that. You go into your cage and you think about what you did to my stopwatch.
18:07🔗
Caller
Look at him. Yeah, that's right. You did wrong. You think about it. How did you like that? Come over there and crush your nut ball. Yeah, it's not so funny anymore, is it? No. Next time, that salt stick you chew on. All right, come over there and crush that. You're not laughing anymore, are you, Mr. McCaw? That's right. I don't feel good, does it?
18:37🔗
Caller
Don't make me put the sheet over the, I'll put the sheet over the goddamn cage right after you. You'll think it's nighttime.
18:45🔗
Caller
I'll take it off at night. You'll think it's daytime. What do you think of that? I'll give you, I'll give you a macaw jet lag. It'll make me come over there. All right.
18:55🔗
Okay. Here's my question.
19:22🔗
That's okay.
19:23🔗
All right. Is it possible for a five-year-old to have an orgasm?
19:30🔗
Female. Coming from my own background.
19:38🔗
You didn't have it now.
19:40🔗
Listen.
19:43🔗
There was another friend of mine, a boyfriend, like a boy that was a friend who was five and then a nine-year-old. They're like, oh, do this. This feels really good. I was like, all right. I didn't know what I was doing when I was five years old. So I did and it felt really good. There was a burst, that kind of thing. I continued to do it until the age I am now. I think by the time I was like 12, I realized what it was. So I'm just wondering, is that normal or is that-
20:18🔗
It got more intense, but it was still that burst and then just afterwards. If that makes any sense.
20:26🔗
Adam
Well, all right. So you have one now and now you would consider that an orgasm, right? I mean, whatever you do now.
20:34🔗
Yeah, but it, as I remember, it felt almost the same when I was five.
20:41🔗
Off and on. Yes, I have been.
20:45🔗
My relationships, I haven't really had a serious one until recently because I've always ran.
20:53🔗
Yeah.
20:55🔗
I've like three months into relationship, I get either really bored, I get scared and I go away.
21:04🔗
Not that I can remember. I mean, just those boys that are showing me what to do. I've been this way ever since I was young though. I mean, I can remember doing things at five that I wouldn't even think about doing until I'm this age now.
21:21🔗
Like, I don't know if I can-
21:25🔗
Yeah. Well, something like that. Something like that, but on a boy my age.
21:30🔗
Yeah. And like, I remember this girl that we would-
21:36🔗
Well, what I thought was, I mean, I, you know, it wasn't like complete obviously, but also I, you know, would get in dress with other girls.
21:56🔗
Adam
What the hell's the guy? What the hell's the guy doing at five? I see. How do you even process that?
22:02🔗
Adam
See, do, make messy on my boobie. I wouldn't know what the hell. I'm 36. I wouldn't know what to do if someone put their tongue in my ass.
22:11🔗
Drew
Heather, this is not normal. We would suspect that there was some more overt sexual abuse than just-
22:19🔗
I can't remember.
22:24🔗
Even though they were the same age as I?
22:26🔗
Drew
Child on child sexual abuse is one of the most common forms of sexual abuse. Children that are abused by adults go out there and abuse other children.
22:50🔗
Drew
And that you were acting out sexually on other children. That is sexual abuse of other children.
22:57🔗
Adam
Well, hold on a sec. No, listen, you getting a rim job at age six is not sexual abuse. That's just the kind of self-esteem my family never gave me I could have used. Feel good about myself.
23:14🔗
Drew
That's what that is. Somebody, some adult introduces this sexual material to a child that doesn't, that can't, isn't, the brain isn't able to process it. And the child starts acting that out.
23:33🔗
Adam
No. Listen, Heather, it's, you know, the female mind is much more frail than the male psyche. Those guys are fine. They're fine. The only thing you did to them, you gave them carpal tunnel syndrome from high-fiving. They're buddies in kindergarten. So listen, Heather, you get a little therapy. Try to figure out what's going on with the relationships in the here and now. Don't beat yourself up for the little encounter she had when you were younger. And then don't freak yourself out too much about it. Just focus on why you're not having a relationship now.
24:10🔗
Drew
All your feelings become sexualized as a result of early exposure. OK, so you don't process feelings normally. You sexualize them. You just sound familiar. Yeah, I mean, I mean, every time, every time that overwhelming endorsement, every time you have a sexual experience, you're that five year old kid again, right? Does that kind of thing?
24:35🔗
Thank you.
24:36🔗
Adam
There you go. All right, listen, I know it sounds it sounds too convenient, but Heather is someone who needs to just talk to somebody.
24:42🔗
Oh, yeah.
24:50🔗
Adam
No. No. There's a six year old boy who she put her tongue in his butt and he's fine. Believe you me.
25:16🔗
Adam
Almost eight. Jesus. That's enough with the aging. Plenty. It's like I met you. The kids were what? Three. And now they're eight. This is getting out of hand. Enough.
25:42🔗
Adam
That's right. It's very funny. Please. What are you? What are you? You got one foot in a grave and the other in a bucket and a third in a poor house. How dare you bring that up?
26:05🔗
Caller
So get your problems ready. You're listening to LoveLine on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Bugs.
26:30🔗
Adam
Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Insane Clown Posse in Tomorrow Night, and the Insane Clown. Flying Solo tonight, Carrot Top has just entered the studio.
26:48🔗
Carrot Top
No, I was on the Tonight Show last night. I wish I was here last night so I could say, watch me, but then again, it would conflict with your show probably.
26:56🔗
Carrot Top
I was with Jay and I said, I'm doing with my set and they always, as clockwork, hey, good stuff, then Carrot Top. When you go back over to the set, right? Yeah, you go over and say, yeah, good set, Carrot Top. And I said, hey, after the show, come check out my new car. He loves cars and bikes. Right. Of course, I don't own a bike. I own Harley boots. That's the only thing I own, Harley. So, I said, come check out my car. He's like, what you get? I'm like, it's a fag car. He's like, what kind of car? I'm like, it's a, you know, it's a, cause he likes these muscle cars, you know. I'm like, it's a, you know, BMW, whatever. He's like, BMW, what kind of BMW? I'm like, unless the X5, it's like a SUV. Right. It's like, you know, in his eyes, it's a fag car. Well, it's a cool car.
27:37🔗
It's a huskier fag, right?
27:39🔗
Carrot Top
It's got a 4.4, like, you know, it's a monster engine. I mean, this thing's faster than I'm, you know. So, I said, come on and check out this car. And he says, well, I can't, I gotta go to Vegas and do a show at the Venetian. So, my buddy and I are like Venetian. I said, it's got to be like 100 grand or more. I mean, Jay Leno is going to do his private party.
27:57🔗
Carrot Top
After doing Tonight Show, after putting it with me and then go do that and then come back.
28:06🔗
Carrot Top
I don't know. That's what I'm saying. It may have been even more than 100 grand, but we're talking about money in the way. I was on the freeway listening to you say, we gotta talk about Carrot Top, about the kind of money it's pulling in. And I'm thinking, I'm not pulling in Leno cash. I mean, you know. No, but I'm pulling in Carrot Cash. I mean, Carrot Cash and Leno Cash is a whole big deal. I got props, man. I know it's gonna be. Here's a boot with a kickstand on it. You're like, yeah, it's 100 grand. No, it doesn't happen that way.
28:27🔗
Adam
Carrot Cash is redeemable at the buffet at Circus Circus, by the way. But speaking of, all right, so you're in Vegas. You're in Vegas, what? Ten days at a time, a week at a time?
28:38🔗
Carrot Top
Yeah, usually two weeks, which is a week longer than you want to be there. I mean, Vegas is nuts. I don't gamble, so I have nothing to do except drugs, drugs.
28:47🔗
Adam
Transvestites, and so you go... Crack whores, come on, baby. I was being polite and calling them transvestites, and you...
29:02🔗
Adam
So give me the Vegas schedule, one show a night during the week, two shows on Saturday, get Sunday off?
29:09🔗
Carrot Top
No, I work every night. I don't have a dark night. I go every night for two weeks, three weeks. Sometimes I went for a month. I went for a month straight, no dark nights, which is... But for comics, I'm having fun. I'm in town, I'm having a good time. It's like for me, entertaining is my whole life. When I'm not, I'm miserable. I mean, I love being in a state.
29:26🔗
Carrot Top
Yeah, I think so. And I think my favorite part of ever doing LoveLine's ever in the history with you, I was telling the guys in here, I said, when you said, I have to agree with Carrot Top on this, they just thought it's so funny that a doctor would say, I gotta take the agree with Carrot Top on this story.
29:42🔗
Drew
Boring is my life, being boring, being clear about this, being boring. And not working is yours, so there by, you see, Carrot Top likes working. How dare you?
29:51🔗
Carrot Top
This is a discussion I do. I love working. When I don't work, I feel like I'm not doing, yeah, it's weird.
30:00🔗
Carrot Top
See, we have a different life, you're a good looking guy, I look like Chelsea Clinton, I mean, so I know a whole different thing.
30:08🔗
Adam
Carrot is a very attractive man. Carrot, you get the, you dangle that carrot in front of a woman or two, don't you?
30:15🔗
Carrot Top
I try, yeah, sure. Yeah, I try to. But it's always the carrot's up there, like, hey, you're like, are you a carrot, huh? It's like, you know, it's not like, you don't want to be in the heat of passion, some of your girl yelling, oh, carrot. No, call me, you know, call me Carrot. I mean, like, what do you, like, it's not like, it's not the most, I mean, honestly, come on, you're a doctor in sec, imagine being in bed on top of some woman going at it. It's not, it's not the most-
30:49🔗
Carrot Top
No, I've had it all removed, I put it in tile. It's all, it's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful thing.
30:54🔗
Carrot Top
Think about that with a woman. Honestly, if you go down a woman, can I say that? You get on a woman, and you don't want to be like Don King in the leg lock. You want to be like, you want to look attractive. So with a guy, when a woman goes down, a guy did the same thing. I always think, you know, they wanted the same thing. They don't want to go down and be like, the jungle guy.
31:12🔗
Adam
I'm with you. I was talking to a stripper just Saturday night in Vegas over at the Olympic Garden.
31:21🔗
Adam
It's great when you talk to strippers, by the way, about what they look for in a man, because it's like, he's got to shave his balls. It was like the first thing out of her mouth.
31:35🔗
Yeah, really? Shave balls, go ahead.
31:37🔗
Adam
They get you on the ropes, they're like, you shave your balls? Oh, of course I do. On the way in.
32:01🔗
Carrot Top
I know, right? I've matured so much. I've actually, for eight years or more, we've been...
32:08🔗
Carrot Top
Yeah, well, your kids weren't even born. We're talking about being old. Oh, my God.
32:14🔗
Carrot Top
I have another guy. I'm not going to mention the name, but yeah, it was always fun.
32:29🔗
Adam
By the way, in the next few, well, I have two years worth of itinerary here. I'll just give the first year a hand back.
32:36🔗
Yes.
32:40🔗
Yeah. Every time I have sex with my boyfriend, I excessively queef, and my boyfriend says it turns him off, and I don't know why it happens a lot.
32:55🔗
He just recently said we have been going out for two years.
32:58🔗
Drew
Is there anything else going on? Maybe he's looking for an excuse to understand why his performance hasn't been what it should be or something?
33:06🔗
Adam
No. But you know how relationships are. The stuff that was cute is now disgusting two years into it.
33:30🔗
I just want to know if this is normal for it to happen a lot.
33:33🔗
Drew
It's normal for some people and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Yeah, but I actually enjoy that.
33:49🔗
Adam
It's like, why don't we have a tighter fit here? The piston is not giving up for the cylinder.
33:59🔗
So there's nothing wrong with it?
34:01🔗
Is there anything I can do so it doesn't happen?
34:10🔗
Adam
Right. I'll tell you one of my favorite positions, which is where I lie on the prey, as I like to call them, and just basically pretend to fall asleep while I'm having a sex. There's no queefing in that position. It's the doggy. It's the you on top hopping around. It's all the exotic, Kama Sutra type, high energy ones. The faster you do it... It's like, okay, put it this way. Everyone put your hand under your arm. Put your arm in your pit, right? Now, you make that fart sound when you do this, right? But let's say you move like a tree sloth. You move your elbow up and down very slowly. What do you get?
34:54🔗
The only thing is, I get nervous every time I'm going to have sex because I feel like I'm going to turn them off.
35:00🔗
Drew
Here's another thing you can do, too, is that this is an issue of flow, you know, flow dynamics. And so it might help even to contract your abdominal muscles. It increases pressure there and might, you know, the same thing...
35:13🔗
Carrot Top
I get nervous before I have sex, too, because they're going to call their parents. Seriously, don't call your mom. No, seriously, I should. No, I'm only 13.
35:24🔗
Okay, so is it more him or is it...
35:27🔗
Because people tell me it's the pressure.
35:35🔗
Queef-friendly.
35:58🔗
Oh, hey.
36:03🔗
Caller
Yeah, I want to know what the long-term effects are of my mom smoking weed when she was pregnant with me.
36:39🔗
Drew
That may have more effect on you actually than the exposure during pregnancy. Having a mom that's an addict, the mom's unavailable, that's regulating her emotional world with drugs.
36:48🔗
Adam
How do you know that she was smoking weed while she was pregnant? Did she tell you that?
36:59🔗
Adam
Everyone's got those like, listen, parents, don't tell your kids everything. I remember when I said, you know what I mean? Because it sticks in their head and they freak out about it. They can't put it in time tracks.
37:14🔗
Adam
I remember when I said to my dad, when I was like 11 years old, I want to play pro football. That's the only thing I want to do. I thought, geez, the only, that or no, that's the only thing I want to do.
37:28🔗
Adam
I said, dad, I'm 11 years old. I'll never forget it. We're in Santa Monica driving at the VW Bug he had, which is not quite a car, but.
37:36🔗
Adam
And I said, no, mom drove the squareback to VW family. And by the way, all you I'm old school. I remember when VW meant piece of ass. There was no right side or Chiracco or anything. It was a piece of ass. VW was a car. Hitler decided he was going to crank out for the for the drones.
37:57🔗
Adam
This was a pile of ass that people got killed in. But I was driving in a car with him and I said, dad, you think I'll make it to six foot? And he looked at me and he went, I don't think so. I mean, I'm, you know, he's like five, nine. My mom's not that tall. Don't look like you're going to make it. I thought, thanks, dad. I'm 11. That's great. Yes. You pull over so I can kill myself. Just, oh, let's just wait to crash. I'll go flying out because no seat belts. I got a rag top and a seat that doesn't latch back. Remember those? Just that flap in the wind seat. Yeah, yeah. All right. Let's talk to Aaron. Yeah. Aaron. Yeah.
38:39🔗
Caller
First, Carrot Top. I just want to know what your real name is because usually when people are saying famous or famous, have secondary names and names they use in the film.
38:59🔗
Carrot Top
Yeah, Thompson, which is like this kid in the hall, Scott Thompson. So, right. I'm always like, I'm the straight one. You know, that's the only thing I can differ from.
39:17🔗
Caller
I was at The Man Show and I stopped watching and I started watching again and the fox was gone.
39:38🔗
Carrot Top
Oh, you son of a bitch. And I've got props. Props are very visual. Television, visual.
39:44🔗
Carrot Top
Really? Damn it. I've seen you on The Man Show. What are you talking about? But I'd love to be on.
40:00🔗
Adam
So don't any of you kids stop drinking on the account of the Fox's death. He wouldn't have wanted it that way. All right?
40:07🔗
Adam
All right, he'll be missed. We'll take a little break. Carrot Top is here tonight. I'll tell you where you can find him and we'll talk to more of you after this. It is Loveline, and Madame Corolla is Dr. Drew of An Airphone, number 1-800-LOV. Carrot Top's our guest tonight.
40:56🔗
Adam
There'll be, you just do it, you catheterize yourself, you can do it right here in the studio, like Drew does. You can use it when I'm done. Done. He'll be at the Performing Arts Center in San Luis Obispo.
41:10🔗
Adam
And don't call it San Louie when you're over there, by the way, they get all uptight. That's coming up on October 26th, 27th, at the Fox Theater in beautiful Bakersfield.
41:20🔗
Adam
And Universal Amphitheater out here in Universal City. That's October 29th. That's a pretty big hall over there.
41:48🔗
Carrot Top
You know, I don't know the people that I was with. The panel of people, one of the guys was on like the black version of ER. Don't know what that show is called.
41:57🔗
Carrot Top
Yeah, Gideon's Crossing. Thank you, Gideon's Crossing. But it was like a ER for, yeah.
42:02🔗
Carrot Top
And then two other people, very, very nice people on the show. It was fun. It was fun.
42:07🔗
Carrot Top
You know, I don't know. I don't do homework. I just show up and they go, here, here's your chair. Sit there and you've got a show. Yeah. They give you a couple of questions and you go out there and you just be funny.
42:18🔗
Carrot Top
Sex, which is kind of funny that we're on this show. Yeah. A night of sex. It was about marriage. It was about most people now are you buy a woman a car. It was about is it's an agreement. But basically what the question was, most marriages and sex are incompatible. And the question was, you know, there's a question that said most people, you buy a woman a car and she'll give you sex tonight. Is that right? And I'm like, usually a car, usually I got to buy a house, a car and some cash and a boat and all kinds of crap. So gotta be lucky to get off of the Saturn, you know? Yeah. I know it's usually, yeah. Sure. So it was a lot of fun. It was fun talking about, you know, the fact that I'm talking about sex. It was great.
42:56🔗
Carrot Top
I don't want to be on this show like, who's going to believe what I have to say about sex?
43:00🔗
Carrot Top
So I was laying in bed with this chick. You're like, no, you weren't. Show us some more toys.
43:19🔗
Adam
I know he's got a hankering for something sexually. I'm sure we could get some bizarre stories out of some women.
43:34🔗
Carrot Top
They even said, someone talked to Bill. I have a little gift for him before the show. They go, well, he's kind of busy right now. Like, what do you mean busy right now? What is he doing?
43:47🔗
Adam
Oh my God. Bill is like, his underpants are like an IHOP. There's, it's an international house of cheesecake over there. I mean, he has a new exotic woman every time I see him.
44:00🔗
Carrot Top
Every night, they look like, and they are, they're exotic. Every time I've been there, there's a new woman. He's like, you know, so and so. I'm like, I don't think I know her.
44:11🔗
Adam
Well, if her father hadn't pulled her out of school and forced her to work the rice paddies, she would be in grade 10 by now, 10th grade, right. I have a huge breast and I'm skinny, I'm not fat. Here's the problem with dating exotic women. Exotic is sort of a euphemism now, which means could be a dude. You know what I'm thinking? Not the build dabbles. No, he's a great guy.
44:35🔗
Carrot Top
You do have to be careful, especially out here. You really do have to check twice.
44:47🔗
Caller
Well, I just found out that my dad has hepatitis C and I was wondering what the likelihood of me having it was.
45:08🔗
Drew
Well, it's not an easy disease to contract. You basically have to share needles. You have to be exposed to blood products. There is a mother to child transmission potentially, as I understand, but again, it's not likely that you're going to caught this. There's even debate about whether it's a sexually transmitted disease. I'm firmly convinced that it is. I've definitely seen cases, in my opinion, where that's occurred, but you don't get a household contact. It's not like a flu or something you're going to catch in your house.
45:35🔗
Adam
You're not a Hispanic guy, are you? No. Okay. Make sure there's no confusion. Because you could have said, Dad, I want to talk to you about hepatitis. Dad went, hepatitis C. You see? That's a little Mexican humor, Dad.
45:46🔗
Want, want, want, want.
45:51🔗
No, no, really.
46:01🔗
Drew
This is a disease that I've been talking about for a long time. It's sort of the next AIDS. It's a retro... It's a virus similar to HIV. It's not technically a retrovirus.
46:21🔗
Drew
B is very different. B is much more contagious. B? The acute defection is much more severe in hepatitis B. It's not as likely to cause chronic liver disease and hepatitis C. And those people that are unlucky enough to get chronic hepatitis C, as Chris' dad has, more than half of those get cirrhosis, and a big percentage of those get cancer. So it is something that needs to be followed. It is now treatable, a combination of ribovirin and the interferon, there's long acting interferons out there, that have about a 30 to 50% cure rate.
46:54🔗
Drew
No, not yet, not like that. You actually try to cure it. You do. You either cure it or you don't.
47:00🔗
Yes.
47:03🔗
Caller
Hi, at the age of 19, I was stupid and I got married. Did it for all the wrong reasons, but it turned into a great relationship, and we were married for about two and a half years.
47:26🔗
Caller
No. Well, at about two years, she had a four-year-old son when we got married. Well, after about two years, he came up to me and he said that he saw mommy kissing somebody at McDonald's. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Well, there was all these signs of adultery going on.
47:54🔗
Caller
Yeah. When we got, well, we got married. Texas has a wonderful law that says you have to be split for six months before you can get the decree signed.
48:05🔗
Caller
And a lot of my friends are saying I did it for all the wrong reasons. I did it for self satisfaction. Cause she pissed me off.
48:16🔗
And I just want her.
48:25🔗
Drew
It's fine to precipitate consequences for someone's actions. That's fine. She should have a consequence for her actions. And that's it. Let go. Forgiveness is a virtue. Seriously. You're going to be just stuck in that Miro Patriot.
48:43🔗
Adam
Listen, all you idiots who are into getting revenge, who's to joke on? You're the one who's camped outside of her house with binoculars till four in the morning in your El Camino.
48:56🔗
Adam
Let's go get laid somewhere, would you, you idiot? Here's the biggest joke you play. You can play in your acts. You take some crap, you wrap it in newspaper and you light it on fire. No, the biggest joke you can play.
49:14🔗
Adam
You just mold yourself into something successful. You know, you go play Vegas with Carrot Top.
49:52🔗
Caller
You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz. Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz, KQBZ, Seattle.
50:45🔗
Carrot Top
No, I really thought that was great. You and Kathy were great. I mean, I was sitting there going, this is great. I didn't. Thanks. Yeah.
50:53🔗
Carrot Top
What did you all like? Just reamed you for this? No, you were great. It's like Letterman, the Oscars. No, you were great. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Very entertaining. It's very funny.
51:02🔗
Carrot Top
No, I know. I know. Honestly, I just I think as a comic, I like to see entertaining things. Not that you guys pulled that off. Great. I would hate to have that kind of pressure of like being the host of something like that. And well, it's sucking and you guys killed it. Well, thank you.
51:14🔗
Adam
To tell you the truth, I didn't feel any pressure until just before the show, when people kept telling me, don't you feel a lot of pressure? And I say, no. They go, but it's live. And I go, oh yeah. And there's going to be 18,000 people in the arena. And I'm like, okay, thanks. Now I just crap myself. You happy?
51:31🔗
Carrot Top
But there are a million people watching right now. Or listening. Sorry, listening.
51:43🔗
Yeah.
52:00🔗
Carrot Top
Yeah, my friend told me that too. He said, dude, he should get one every week. I was like, well, I'm trying to.
52:05🔗
Drew
It's a one time gig. But he usually doesn't cause any prematurity. I've never read that or heard of that.
52:14🔗
Adam
Well, maybe now it's just the sort of pullout pressures off and you're free. You know what I mean?
52:20🔗
Well, I've never really pulled out.
53:00🔗
Drew
You should talk to him about it. You weren't using a condom or something like that before, were you?
53:05🔗
Adam
And what about after you had the procedure, how long did you have to not fiddle with your junk?
53:17🔗
Well, without, from a woman? Yeah.
53:29🔗
Adam
Yeah, it interrupted his whole, his whole life's flow in Chi, you know what I mean? I mean, God, God knows if I went three days without yanking myself off, what would happen?
53:48🔗
Drew
It was the, the space shuttle coming in. Oh wow. I thought it was, hey Charlie, I thought there was a bomb going off.
53:56🔗
Carrot Top
Yeah. I thought they were like just making room to build another house or something.
54:19🔗
Carrot Top
Could you imagine having sex during that thing? You're like, boom, boom. You're like, oh, yeah, huh? How am I? Like, you're the man.
54:31🔗
Yeah, time is the man.
54:40🔗
Drew
I said to myself, I thought that is not normal. That's something. I know what it is, but it's something. And then I heard on the news tonight, they were talking about it.
54:47🔗
Carrot Top
I thought Star Jones did a jumping jack. I swear to God, there was something weird.
54:53🔗
Yeah.
55:00🔗
Well, actually, I had a question. I, you know, everyone has their history of dysfunctional childhood. And I was wondering, is it possible to get through all that without therapy or medication? You guys are always recommending.
55:17🔗
Oh, geez. I mean, go down the line. I grew up without a mother and my dad's been married, divorced three times, alcoholic parents.
55:26🔗
No, no, I'm not.
55:33🔗
Oh, yeah.
55:35🔗
Oh, no, no.
55:38🔗
Actually, it was my mother's boyfriend when I was very young.
55:44🔗
Adam
Well, we were going to say it is possible, but not in your case. You've been through too much.
55:58🔗
Drew
Unfortunately, the culture today doesn't afford people or offer many healthy alternatives or a direction that helps you do it in a real way. It gives you all sorts of weird band-aids that gratify you in the moment, but do nothing to heal the big picture.
56:14🔗
Well, I was in an abusive relationship for three years, and I've been out of that for the past two years. Actually, I go to junior college. I know you've been asked that.
56:26🔗
Are you kidding? I'm in a healthy relationship now.
56:37🔗
No, not at all. That was one of his first things when we got together, is he just did not think it was going to last because of my history. It's really been good.
56:46🔗
Two years.
56:53🔗
Drew
Some little treatment. Well, I don't know. I mean, but how much better can you do than fine? She has no, she's not depressed, no anxiety. She's in a stable relationship. Anxiety comes up and I, you know, and I, yeah, but it's not not something that you're not complaining that I've got to have these symptoms controlled.
57:06🔗
Drew
And what's your, what's your goal? You know, what's the goal here? And you're doing fine.
57:10🔗
Carrot Top
And I'm strong, strong enough to really to get past these kind of things on your own without medication.
57:18🔗
But, you know, for now, I think I worry about it too much. Is it possible? You know, can I really do it or am I just like faking myself out?
57:26🔗
Adam
Well, listen, here's the deal. If you're doing it, you're doing it. Who cares how you're doing it?
57:32🔗
Adam
So fine. Hats off to you. On the other hand, like I said, you've been through a lot. And if you're thinking about it a lot and you want to explore that, then you get a little therapy. You don't have to.
57:53🔗
Caller
I mean, it's been a long time since I had. Or like, my dad has talked to me about going to like, Al-Anon, just as a group thing.
58:01🔗
Drew
I think that would be great for you, by the way, because I haven't grown up in the Alkong family and all that. That would be a very efficient way to make a connection. I could add some help.
58:09🔗
Adam
But Drew, what about the danger of sort of getting immersed in this lifestyle, this Al-Anon, AA kind of group mentality and never getting out?
58:18🔗
Drew
I think that's unusual. I think there's a bigger risk of her sort of diving in and being unraveled emotionally and having a lot of stuff come up that could cause symptoms and maybe make her worse than she is.
58:31🔗
Carrot Top
But not dealing with it on her own. She seemed fine. Right. So a lot of people don't need that. I mean, everybody came from a... My dad was an alcoholic. My parents split up when I was in junior high. It was a rough time. And there's days that I go, man, I went to camp and I was abused there, too. And it's like all kinds of crazy ways. But you kind of go through it your own, in your own way.
58:56🔗
Carrot Top
No, it was awful. It was the worst thing ever. But it was also a growing experience for me. And who knows? And I went to junior college too. What was the junior college thing? Oh, really? Junior college sucked. But I went through it and I hated it. But I couldn't afford to go to college. So I had to do this thing. I had to go to junior college. And God forbid.
59:12🔗
Carrot Top
I grew up in Florida. Speaking of the sonic boom, my dad worked at NASA at the Space Center. So when he said sonic boom, I didn't even know that there was a shuttle today. I grew up at the whole Space Center. My dad worked at NASA the whole nine yards, an engineer.
59:25🔗
Carrot Top
Well, it's yeah. You know, he used to have a problem. That's because my father like, crap, Larry, damn it.
59:46🔗
Carrot Top
That may have put him into retirement. No, I think it was kind of cool because all of his engineer buddies are like, your son's Carrot Top? It's like, yeah, he'll be on the Tonight Show tonight. And they'd watch and they'd go, that was true. But if you look at my act, it's very engineer like. I like I create things and I got a lot of my father in me and a lot of my mother's personality.
1:00:04🔗
Carrot Top
And a little bit of camp counselor in me. I was sexually abused by the way, camp counselor. He goes, you got any squirrels in there? You got any squirrels in there? After you take a shower, he'd put your hands in your pants and be like, test your, yeah, you got any nuts? You got any squirrels down in your thing? And I'm like, really? Yeah. Well, you know, it's weird. As you get older, you start thinking, holy crap, I was sexually abused. I see these celebrities on these shows going, I was sexually molested. I'm thinking, who wasn't? I mean, like everybody had that day when you're, when somebody did something to you.
1:00:37🔗
Adam
I'm sending my kid to Jewish camp, even though he won't be Jewish, just so he won't get molested.
1:00:51🔗
Carrot Top
But it was Drew. I mean, everybody, you think everybody at one point in your life had that?
1:01:09🔗
Carrot Top
Exactly. It wasn't like molesting. It wasn't like having sex with it. It was just a moment where I went, you know, this isn't right. That's all. There's something weird and you don't know who to talk to. Who do you go to and say, hey, this guy is grabbing him. This woman just said molest to me. He was like, you just went, this isn't right.
1:01:29🔗
Carrot Top
I think I had both, actually. I think I had it. The guys were like, hey, Carrot, what do women do?
1:01:35🔗
Carrot Top
The same thing. Yeah. Well, she was just like, you know, yeah, I was fondling her.
1:01:45🔗
Carrot Top
Damn it. You think they'll take me again? Is this in Florida? I got a check pulled out. No, it's in Georgia of all places.
1:02:04🔗
Adam
I love it when you say, Tears of the Clown, guys. Wouldn't you say that you're colorful childhood? Don't you think that's what helped you along with your sense of humor?
1:02:18🔗
Carrot Top
No, but you're skinny, you're red hair and freckles. Of course, you're the class clown. You want to do something to fit in, to make yourself feel like one of the games.
1:02:27🔗
Adam
You might not have had the sense of humor going to Vegas and making millions of dollars.
1:02:36🔗
Caller
Yeah, I just wanted to know if you guys could do the lightning round or the Dr. Drew boogie.
1:02:44🔗
Adam
The lightning round is something I say for the end of some shows, but not when we have a guest.
1:05:17🔗
Drew
You should expect depression, panic attacks, and anxiety potentially the rest of your life.
1:05:30🔗
Carrot Top
I love that. You know what the problem was? I loved it. I was like, Oh, really? Oh, yeah.
1:05:40🔗
Drew
One of the things that stimulates, I was talking about this the other night, stimulates the amygdala, which is a region of the brain that monitors for novelty. So it makes things that are different or even routine seem out of the ordinary and special and interesting. And you overdo that part of the brain and you lose that ability. And everything seems flabby.
1:05:58🔗
Carrot Top
Well, I have to be honest with you guys without sounding stupid or humorous here because I want to be humorous, but at the same time...
1:06:06🔗
Carrot Top
A lot of people say, oh, you do drugs, DJ Rock, it's like at the same time, people that do those drugs that look to be like, to find what you just said, that novelty that... I'm already kind of freaked, I'm already whacked. So when I did it, I found myself depressed. I found myself not finding that. I was beyond. When I'm not on drugs, I'm having a great time right now. I'm completely sober, not drugged, nothing. But when I did that, I found myself... I enjoyed it. I'm not going to lie, but at the same time, I was like, it didn't get me off like I thought it was going to get me off. Well, what about... I just enjoyed it. What about pot? But a lot of people... Well, pot, as my mom would say, grass, are you in the grass? It's so funny to hear your parents say, where are you getting this? Can you find me some? Because we're getting ripped off at work. But your grass is like, or pot, whatever, bobo, the whole ganja, all the words, I think to me it's just like, it's a recreational kind of thing. It's so stupid. I don't know why it's such a big bad drug. Does that cause shown harm beyond excessive use? I'm not saying excessive like...
1:07:10🔗
Drew
And it's profoundly addictive for some people, profoundly. And that's where it gets...
1:07:15🔗
Carrot Top
Because I don't find it addictive at all. In fact, I've done a few times could go a year without it. Two years, two months, two hours. And then all of a sudden you're like, okay, I'll do a little one. It's fun. It's recreational.
1:07:30🔗
Carrot Top
No, I do that when I'm sober. Oh my God, I'm Carrot Top. What have I done to myself?
1:07:43🔗
Adam
No, I'll tell you, seriously. I barely smoke weed anymore, and the reason I don't smoke much pot anymore is because I have like two mortgages and a big nut every week.
1:07:59🔗
Adam
And I'm 36, and I think to myself, I'm gonna get stoned and I'm gonna start freaking out.
1:08:09🔗
Carrot Top
I agree. I agree. No, I'm looking at you like I'm agreeing with you. I'm actually going, hey, I found my brother here. I agree with you. And the same thing with, you know, I drink when I'm home and have a good glass of wine. Like I'm not a drinker like as far as getting smashed. I went out there the night in Hollywood. I never go out in Hollywood. I had a couple of glasses of wine and I got pulled over on Sunset Boulevard. This is not a joke. Sunset Boulevard right in front of the comedy store. Right. And maybe the cops listening. He saves me kind of my show. I have a show at Universal Studios. There is an amphitheater on the Sunday. And the guy pulled me over. And of all things, I mean, I've never, thank you. Never been pulled over. Oh, never been pulled over in my life. In like, let's say 25 years.
1:08:46🔗
Carrot Top
Okay. I was 10 when I got pulled over. But I got pulled over and the guy says he'd been drinking. I said, I had a guy had a glass of wine. He says, glass of wine. Said I had a couple of glasses of wine. And he said, really? Well, so you see when you be sure. I said, absolutely. Got pulled over and I think about all the times people have been pulled over. And I know what it is. It's like it's it's it's that of course, it's the it's the it's that pressure of you have authority and you have yourself. And there you are. And you stand there going, you know, I'm not drunk. And thank God I wasn't. But I was like, I did have two glasses of wine.
1:09:16🔗
Carrot Top
Well, I was wondering, I said, what if two glasses of wine is drunk? Yeah, because I was fine. So I get out. I get the car and he does the whole thing. Touch your nose. Do this. Put your head up and count to 30. I get done. And it was all intimidation kind of thing. He says, count to 30. So I get done. He said, when you get to 30, count. It said time. Got to 30. It's the time. He says, well, where did you decide on 30? I said, I counted. Right. Well, how did you count to 30? I said, I just counted to 30. He says, uh-huh. He's trying to trick you. See, when you're drunk, you don't know how to respond to this. You're like, oh, no. I was like, why count to 30?
1:09:51🔗
Carrot Top
And so is this on Sunset? On Sunset, right? Right. Literally crossed from the sky bar.
1:09:57🔗
Carrot Top
Oh, no. They're going Carrot Top. And the guy said they're going Carrot Top. He thinks because the red hair and that goes on. And I said, I'm having a little hard time concentrating because I'm being heckled here by people. One guy walks, I swear to God, I go, hey, Carrot Top, let him go. And I said, I go, no, really, I'm fine. I really was like, I was like, get away from me. You're ruining my whole thing. I said, I'm fine. And the cop looks at him like, this cop had braces. It was really funny because he had braces. I mean, he's like 18. He's like, he's like, just keep it moving. I said, I'm fine. Sorry. He said, do you know that guy? I said, no, but how does he know you? I said, well, now I'm afraid to say. Drug deal. I'm on TV or I'm a comedian. So I said, well, I'm a comedian. He says, comedian. I said, yeah. He says, well, it's not real funny now, is it? I said, I never said it was funny. Now all of a sudden I'm like defensive. I'm like, I didn't say it was funny. I'm just trying to, you do your duty. You know, you're a police officer law, do your duty. I'm not drunk. I'm going to pass this test because I'm not drunk. And I'm thinking, maybe I won't. You said that? No, yeah. I said, I'm not drunk. I'm going to do whatever I have to do to pass this test. Let's move it on because I want to go home. And so sure enough, he does the whole thing. And I'm 20 minutes goodbye. And now he's doing a whole anal search. I'm thinking, is this part of the drug test? This is weird. This is the weirdest alcohol test I've ever had in my life. But I actually enjoyed it. No, I actually enjoyed it. I said, you know what? You should check. I had three glasses. Check again. But no, I get done and everything's fine. And so the whole thing needs to say, then he says, okay, I'm going to give you a ticket for taking a left out of the zones, you know, this road.
1:11:17🔗
Adam
Right. I like that. I like that. As long as we've pulled you over for something else. Well, I got to go.
1:11:25🔗
Carrot Top
So yeah, his assistant tubs or Crockett or whatever the guy was. I'm punch. He says, I'm coming. Just kidding, by the way, if you're listening, because I have to drive home from here. He says, I, I, I, I'm coming to your show on Sunday. The Assistant Theater on my, on my life. I said, well, then I said, why didn't you? Why you guys give me such a hard time? You can tell him I'm not drunk. He said, well, you know, my buddy here, he's the, he's the guy. I'm like, well, tell him I'm cool. He's like, he doesn't play that game. Like, we know what game like it's a game. I'm like, it's not a game. Just tell him I'm cool. I'm not. So I had to put my pockets out. You holding some. I'm like, no, like I have props in my pocket. Well, I guess they would check for props.
1:12:06🔗
Carrot Top
I passed and everything's fine. But I got no, I got a ticket. I got a ticket for whatever I didn't do anything.
1:12:18🔗
Carrot Top
No, it was no party thing. Except you have, you know, noticed to appear so and so. And I said, so I have to appear in court. And he goes, no, no, you just mail it in. I said, OK, great. Yeah. I think you said buckle up and be safe or whatever. I know what he said.
1:12:57🔗
Carrot Top
Yeah, it sucks that guy's getting more more action than I am right now. I got to learn that. Joe, help me. Hook me up, buddy.
1:13:03🔗
Adam
Yeah. Did a penis come flying out of your ass when you did that? Let's hear the unobstructed one. Do you suck in too?
1:13:11🔗
Adam
I want to hear the inhale as well. OK, here we go. You suck. Oh, my God. That was good. Yeah, it was good, Joe. That was good. It's nice. Yeah. The address is CBS. I think that's what you call a gift. Probably passed down from generation to generation.
1:13:42🔗
Adam
Blown wind on the Mayflower. All right. Joe, you're wonderful. You keep up that good work. Okay. All right.
1:14:38🔗
Hi, this is Violent J. And this is Shaggy Too Dope from the Insane Clown Posse. And you're listening to LoveLine with Adam Carolla. And Dr. Drew.
1:15:16🔗
Adam
Wait a minute. Didn't those guys, they had their hoods off last time they were in here, didn't they?
1:15:23🔗
Adam
The point is, those Mexican wrestling men are very frightening, especially on guys that are big enough to be, actually bigger than Mexican wrestlers who aren't traditionally that big.
1:15:34🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. Yeah, they go, they go, and I'm not exaggerating, they're probably six, they're both either 6'3, 6'4, and they're well over 200 pounds.
1:15:47🔗
That's insane.
1:16:01🔗
Carrot Top
Oh, right on. Yay, my first question. I hope I can, help me out, Doc, if you need help.
1:17:05🔗
Caller
I was hoping we could make those freckles into one big, like, little love fest or something.
1:17:17🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. Let me talk to Carrot Top for a second. I'm going to defend you for a second.
1:17:22🔗
Adam
This Barbara has to be incredible looking because she is worthless. She is the most unappealing sounding woman I've ever heard in my life, which means she has to be good looking.
1:17:33🔗
Carrot Top
I just like the sound of a woman saying, I want to get together with Carrot Top.
1:18:00🔗
Adam
I'm going to need you to not be insane for about a minute, and then you can go back to your normally insane when you hang up the phone. But right now, I need you to follow along. What airport did you see him at?
1:18:43🔗
Adam
Nice and crazy, just the way Carrot Top likes him. Imagine, you have to hook up with someone very sane, or you're going to give birth to a mad scientist.
1:18:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, you got those genes, alcoholic, sonic, booming, mad scientist genes running through your veins.
1:19:05🔗
Caller
You guys were talking a little politically last night, and I didn't get through till tonight, but I was just curious on Dr. Drew's views on using marijuana for medical purposes, because that's one of the questions coming up on our ballot here in the state of Nevada.
1:19:28🔗
Caller
Well, I read something about it in the paper today, about California, it's like a big tug of war between the federal government and the state government.
1:19:34🔗
Drew
It's really ridiculous. There really is no condition for which marijuana is the best drug, or even a great drug, even a good drug. There's just hundreds of other much more effective, much safer, much better drugs. And by the way, I've never had a request for medical marijuana from someone that wasn't a marijuana addict. Now, if somebody has cancer or AIDS and they feel better and they eat better when they have marijuana, they ought to have it. So I think the whole point about marijuana that I make is that we can't have any rational discussions about it because it's such a hypocritical... It's treated so hypocritically.
1:20:14🔗
Caller
Right. Well, see, that's the thing, because you have the explanation for and against, and according to the, you know, against, you know, there's more medicines out there and...
1:20:22🔗
Drew
There are, but look, it's all... It's really the reason people put these things on the balance to try to get things closer to legalization. That's really the reason.
1:20:30🔗
Drew
And I wish they'd just state that or just get over it. Let's just have that discussion. Let's have the discussion about whether or not this thing's really black.
1:20:41🔗
Drew
No, I think somebody could come out. I'll run for president on the platform of legalizing marijuana.
1:20:47🔗
Adam
People have been trying to legalize marijuana for 50 years. It's not working, so they went to Plan B, which is medical marijuana.
1:20:54🔗
Drew
Part of the reason they're working, they've never had a strong candidate stand up and just say, hey, let's just do this.
1:21:04🔗
Adam
And by the way, let me say something to all the people who have experimented with drugs and now want to run for office. This hole, I was in college, I don't give a rat's ass where you were or what you were. It drives me nuts that this has become an excuse. I don't mind someone doing drugs. I suspect everyone who's over the age of 30 has tried marijuana and tried a few other things. And if you haven't, frankly, I'm suspicious.
1:21:34🔗
Adam
Show me a guy who's 42 years old who says I've never tried marijuana once and he ain't get my vote because I look at him is Squaresville. I don't look at him. I don't. I raise a brow of suspicion and my brow weighs five pounds. So when I raise it, it's a big deal. So this whole, this whole, this whole, hey, when I was in college, I did X, Y and Z. All these Republican candidates always do as well. Sure. I tried, but I was in college. So what, when, since when? And by the way, I hear this in college thing and I know it sounds like going on a weird tangent here, but whenever I hear people talk about something, they're sort of ashamed of and embarrassed of or don't want people to know, they go, well, sure, when I was in college, I may have, why, what's the big deal about college? Just say when you were 20, it doesn't sound so good anymore. What about all those guys who didn't go to college?
1:22:47🔗
Adam
Yes. I wish a cannon would just have the guts. I mean, like Clinton with his, I didn't.
1:22:56🔗
Adam
Oh, by the way, that was where the beginning of his lying spree began and it ran all the way through.
1:23:03🔗
Adam
I am. I don't have a beef against a guy other than, You can by voting for Gore. Other than he's a compulsive liar.
1:23:13🔗
Caller
Let me say to the people of America and the nations of the world that I hate your ass. I swear to God I do.
1:23:20🔗
Drew
I think if somebody at Strong Candidate stood up and said, I'm just going to vote, my first move will be to legalize this thing, all those voters that don't vote will suddenly start voting.
1:23:29🔗
Carrot Top
But my question is, we talked about this on Pillow thing, correct or not, which by the way I'm running like 18 minutes, why can't we legalize that? Why can't we legalize marijuana? In the sense of, no wait, legalize it though only in the terms of kind of like how we do alcohol. It's a home use, you use it at home. If you're caught driving under the influence of it, you're going to jail just like you do alcohol. There's no reason why you can't sit home and listen to LoveLine smashed out of your gore and pot.
1:23:55🔗
Carrot Top
No, but I mean why can't we do it legally? Carrot Top has spoken, ladies and gentlemen.
1:24:05🔗
Adam
The wheels have been off the wagon ever since. I have no idea. I really don't. And furthermore, the fact that if I grow a pot plant in my backyard, I could lose my house. And by the way, these are Republicans who are for this, by the way, you so-called less government pussies, you so-called constitutional pussies. You are the ones who are leading this charge. And if I have a pot plant in my backyard, there's no reason why I shouldn't have my house auctioned off and carted off to jail. You call that less government?
1:24:36🔗
Carrot Top
But isn't that amazing that you can put, they want to put people behind jail for using marijuana. It's like they'll put you behind bars, but you just can't test cosmetics on them. You know what I mean?
1:24:47🔗
Adam
But right on. Jenny? I mean, hold on a second. I mean, what is it with these Republicans? You know what I mean?
1:24:57🔗
Adam
They're all horrible. The Republicans, you never hear them stop talking about the Constitution and about this being a free country and people going to parts unknown to fight battles. These young men who laid their lives down so that we could stay free in this country. Meanwhile, you grow a pot plant in your backyard. They're all for guys rappelling down a helicopter and carting you off.
1:25:16🔗
Drew
Bill Maher has always made is that why isn't that? Why isn't victimless crime issues a conservative point of view?
1:25:24🔗
Adam
Yeah. What about prostitution? What about drugs? Why isn't that? These are the people that all they do is champion the Constitution.
1:25:34🔗
Adam
The freedom to bear arms, the right to bear arms, the freedom of speech. All they're always standing behind the Constitution. So meanwhile, a guy would smoke a little reefer in his living room. He gets popped. What the hell is that? Make your minds up, you pussies. It drives me nuts. And they expect us to get behind them? It drives me insane that things like, yeah, they want you to be able to have guns, but they're for mandatory minimums when it comes to first defenses for drugs. What is that?
1:26:02🔗
Carrot Top
I just found out you can say pussies on this show. This is so cool. I don't know.
1:26:13🔗
Carrot Top
.plural version of it. I'm sorry. I just learned that. Damn, this is great. After two hours, I had no idea.
1:26:25🔗
Caller
Hi. Well, every now and then, this happens. You know how guys can get turned on for no reason at all? Well, it happens to me.
1:26:51🔗
Caller
Okay. Well, I could be doing laundry. Oh. And all of a sudden, you know, I could be taking a walk.
1:27:16🔗
Carrot Top
I'm getting kind of turned on thinking that you're watching some kind of infomercial.
1:27:26🔗
Adam
I'm going to start. We'll keep going around until we get there. I'm going to go with some sort of a engine additive in an automobile.
1:28:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, all right. Hey, listen, I spoke to one of your psychic friends. They predicted you're still going to be living at home 25 years from now.
1:29:00🔗
Adam
I see. All right. So, the feds broke up the meth lab you guys had in the living room? No. All right, baby. Listen, take care of yourself. My parents had a brilliant strategy about me moving back into the house.
1:29:14🔗
Drew
Yeah, you're not coming into the house. You move here, but you can't walk in the front door.
1:29:17🔗
Adam
No, no, no, no. Here's what they did. I didn't know this until later on in life. Their plan was, let's make him so miserable while he's living here.
1:29:27🔗
Adam
Yes, they just told me, let's make him so miserable, feel so unwanted and make the place into such an asshole that he will never, it's not going to be a thing where he drops out of college or gets canned from a job or girlfriend dumps him or gets hooked, strung out of heroin. He'll never come back. You know what I'm saying? Jail will be better than this place.
1:29:56🔗
Adam
Started at birth, went through age 19. The plan was so disillusioned, so unhappy with the environment and realized the place was such a dump that I would never come back.
1:30:11🔗
Carrot Top
My favorite commercial is those damn Holiday Inn commercials where the guy is like, no, listen, we have a plan here.
1:31:02🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's the LoveLine. I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew over there. Here comes Carrot Top. No problem. Carrot Top is going to be the Universal Amphitheater coming up this Sunday. Also, San Luis, is that tomorrow?
1:31:17🔗
Adam
Thursday, then Friday Fox Theater in Beggarsfield, again, Amphitheater, Universal Amphitheater. That's a nice gig on Sunday night.
1:31:26🔗
Adam
Palace Theater in Louisville, Kentucky into November and then more Kentucky. Jesus. Then Fort Myers.
1:31:43🔗
Adam
No kidding. All the way through November and then into January, ending up in Vegas. All right. So let's talk to Allison. Allison?
1:31:59🔗
Caller
Well, don't worry at all about being a redhead. I'm a redhead myself. And don't ever mess with your pubic hair.
1:32:13🔗
No.
1:32:22🔗
Carrot Top
Anderson, when I walked in here, you guys even said, Yeah, they said, You smell.
1:32:32🔗
Caller
Oh, and I know why, when you get these callers on, they can't, they don't respond right away. So the sound's really quiet.
1:32:55🔗
Yeah.
1:33:06🔗
Caller
No. I've been getting some emails about it. Supposedly, it could increase the metabolism and they claim it can take like 20 years off your life.
1:33:27🔗
Drew
And you can also get thickening of the bones and entrapment of nerves coming out of the bones and the skull. And it can be a huge mess. There are many different uses for growth hormone being explored. But I wouldn't rush into it. It's mostly not a good idea. No, I would not rush.
1:33:47🔗
Carrot Top
I'm sorry. I don't want to make fun of you. But I was like, oh man, these poor guys are cold.
1:33:51🔗
Caller
I used to with you guys in LA and I moved up to Sacramento four years ago. And all these trees.
1:34:11🔗
Adam
I mean, what about obviously there's breakthroughs in science. I mean, 100 years ago, they were talking about things that they may have thought was dangerous for people. Turned out to be good for people.
1:34:27🔗
Adam
For Christ's sake, we're going to be, you know, 85 years old, then get on the growth hormone thing so we can look 85 for another 10 years.
1:34:33🔗
Drew
You know what? The the overwhelming wisdom right now would suggest that a properly maintained diet and exercise is the key thing.
1:35:21🔗
Carrot Top
I don't know. I think I'm going to be coming soon. Check out carrottop.com. In fact, I'll be there probably sometime in March or April.
1:36:01🔗
Adam
I know. But he gave that little pause. He goes, he goes, Adam, I love you. You rule all other rulers.
1:36:19🔗
Adam
I think the fact you put meat on the end of it kind of made it OK. As if it was from an animal. Right.
1:37:27🔗
Adam
And find out when he's coming to a town near you, because he's such a whore. He will be. And if you're living out in the Southern California, he's going to be at the Universal Amphitheater on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Ow! So, Insane Clown Posse tomorrow night. Oh, watch Carrot Top on Politically Incorrected.
1:37:50🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this edition. The producer for LoveLine is Ann Wilkins, being golden. LoveLine is the presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.