Monday, October 16, 2000

1:01🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.

1:14🔗 Adam Hey, it is Loveline of Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest is Kim Coles. Kim, you know from all those years on Living Single and now in the new Gina Davis show.

1:35🔗 I get applause. Thank you.

1:37🔗 Adam Tuesday nights, ABC, and I think tomorrow is going to be at 9.30.

1:42🔗 9.30.

1:43🔗 Adam Is it usually, are they moving it back for a debate or something next week or tomorrow or something? Or is it always 9.30?

1:51🔗 As far as I know, it's always 9.30.

1:53🔗 Adam Okay. I heard something. I can't remember because as you know, Drew.

1:57🔗 That's right, the debates are.

1:58🔗 Adam I don't focus when other people talk to me. Yeah, I know that. What are you saying? I got the AD part. What was after that? I just got the AD part of the ADD. Then I drifted off. But is there a debate tomorrow night?

2:12🔗 Drew It must be. I believe there is.

2:13🔗 Adam You know the thing that's funny about the debate? Everyone was clamoring for them or at least I was thinking a couple of months ago they were talking about Gore wanting to do debates and Bush didn't want to do the debates and I was like come on you wussy you debate him. Now it's like we're on one and a half and I'm like all right with the debates already you're cutting into the Simpsons Jesus Christ. Do they all have to cover them? Does every station have to cover it? How about just one?

2:41🔗 I'm not interested and I should be. And I plan to vote but I don't, I don't, I don't.

2:46🔗 Adam But here's the deal, here's my take on the debates. First off, really, you know why people watch the debates? So they can say they watch the debates. I don't think because they're really interested in watching the debates. I think they're going to get called on it the next day at work. And they want to act like a good American and they want to act intelligent and all that. But number two, is it important to be on CBS, NBC, ABC, and Fox, and then, you know, CNN and where so I can all the way down the line as I scan it's Debate, Debate, Debate, Charlie's Angels, Debate, Debate, Charlie's Angels comes up again, Debate, Debate, Debate, Three's Company, Debate. And I'm sitting there now I'm feeling like a retard because normally like here's the thing I could watch The Simpsons for instance, or Seinfeld or something and not watch the debate and still feel sort of good about myself. But those shows have all been preempted even in syndication. So I'm watching Starsky and Hutch as opposed to watching the debate and feeling like a real ass.

3:43🔗 Caller You're not even watching quality reruns.

3:44🔗 Adam No.

3:45🔗 Caller Is that it? You've just gone right into the barrel.

3:48🔗 Drew I'm curious. Did you introduce really Kim? Yes.

3:51🔗 Adam I did say Kim Coles.

3:53🔗 Drew She kind of would pass quickly though.

3:54🔗 Adam I said she was from Living Single all those years and now what about me?

3:59🔗 Drew That's how it went. That is how it went.

4:01🔗 Caller That's how it pretty much goes. And I understand that and I'm here for the whole two hours.

4:05🔗 Adam Everyone listen to me.

4:06🔗 Caller They'll talk about me.

4:08🔗 Adam All right. Well, we got sidetracked but the Gina Davis show. Let's talk about that. I heard it did very well in the ratings last week.

4:15🔗 Caller As far as I know we were the number one new comedy. The number one new comedy. Now that was last week. That was our premiere week. We held 100% of our lead in audience. That means everybody that was watching, Dharma and Greg, watched us.

4:30🔗 Adam Really? That's pretty good.

4:31🔗 Caller They tuned in.

4:32🔗 Adam That's great.

4:32🔗 Caller They tuned in which is nice. Which is nice because ABC really promoted a lot. They put a lot of money. People had to tune in.

4:38🔗 Adam You ain't kidding.

4:38🔗 Caller It was all billboards.

4:40🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw the billboards all over the place. I saw the commercials all over the place. And I've seen it for a lot of shows though. And I just wonder, I wonder if another show is being promoted very heavily, then I guess you have to promote your show in order to keep up with that show. In a sense, it gets a little obnoxious. You know the thing that drives me nuts?

5:02🔗 Caller What drives you nuts?

5:02🔗 Adam Let me tell you something Kim. I noticed that they start running these things like for Madigan Man or something like that. They start running these goddamn things two months before the show hits the air.

5:12🔗 Caller Oh, like July. Before we even started working, there were ads on the air.

5:15🔗 Adam And I was yelling at someone the other day, why do I see the same joke over and over and over? They show the same clip, the same beat, and the person said because they probably only got the pilot or the one show in the can, and that's the only show they have to draw from. But it seems like a horrible strategy to run the same joke into the ground, and if you watch Monday Night Football or you watch ABC or whatever, you're going to see the same joke over and over again, and by the time the show comes out, you're pissed off. You're tired of the show.

5:43🔗 Drew There's been a little time at CBS. They really saw their summer programming as a platform for marketing, their new shows.

5:52🔗 Adam The new shows, that's what they were there for.

5:54🔗 Drew That was the new, as much as Survivor and Big Brother, that was there to grandstand the new show. That's right.

5:59🔗 Adam All right. Well, anyway, Living Singles, tell me, I'm not Living Singles, Gina Davis. Tell me about that since I didn't see last week. Tell me about your role and your part and all that stuff.

6:10🔗 Caller So the story is Gina is a career gal, funky, lives in the city, lives in Manhattan, whatever, and she falls in love with this suburban man who's a widower with two kids. She moves in with him and she becomes instant mom. So there's that story. So what stems from that is all the hilarity of becoming instant mom, girlfriend about to marry this man, and then her two best girl...

6:37🔗 Adam You use the word hijinks, ABC.

6:39🔗 Drew Hijinks ensue.

6:39🔗 Caller Hijinks, and the hijinks ensue, the hilarity ensues. There we go. All hell breaks loose when the first time she bakes a cake for the kid and it comes out the shape of a penis. And he's 13 years old and he goes to school and oh my god it's and on the penis cake it says go Carter and he's you know that's the kid's name he's very upset. Nice.

7:00🔗 Adam Could happen.

7:00🔗 Caller Yeah and then she goes home later on and you know the you know the boyfriend doesn't want a piece of the cake oh no none of that penis cake for me.

7:07🔗 Adam Don't want to be gay right?

7:08🔗 Caller Yeah thank you.

7:08🔗 Adam It's really the frosting you gotta look out for.

7:10🔗 Caller Ah that what you know folks. So I play one of her very good girlfriends and her co-worker and to be honest with you I really don't know quite what we do yet. It is called the Creative Caucus. It is supposed to be marketing PR. Yeah thank you pretty much. It's patterned after the Creative Coalition which is that company that markets.

7:28🔗 Drew They're gonna be promoting new television shows. Oh that's pretty much.

7:32🔗 Caller Oh yeah we've already like eluded to other stars, other people, yeah references to people that she knows.

7:37🔗 Drew Adam here's your chance.

7:39🔗 Caller Oh you could so be on the show.

7:40🔗 Drew Oh see.

7:41🔗 Caller You could so be on. I'd like to invite you now officially. I have no power whatsoever. I think she should come on the show to discuss her problems with her men, played by Peter Horton of 30-something fame.

7:52🔗 Drew Well now you can have the kid call us having the cake drama.

7:54🔗 Caller There you have it. Enough said. I'm going to pitch that tomorrow. I've got a lot of clout there.

8:00🔗 Adam I have not been on a regular network in a long time.

8:03🔗 Caller I think it's high time.

8:04🔗 Drew Not since two guys, a girl, and a group of people.

8:07🔗 Adam Right. When I do that, two years ago? Yeah. Yeah. I got to start going on auditions I think. Megan?

8:12🔗 Drew Oh yeah. That will happen.

8:14🔗 Adam Start tomorrow. Megan, you're 16.

8:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

8:16🔗 What's up?

8:18🔗 Caller My boyfriend wants me to give him a blow job, but...

8:22🔗 Adam Hold on. Let me get this straight. You say your boyfriend wants you to give him a blow down.

8:27🔗 Yes.

8:28🔗 Adam Interesting.

8:28🔗 Drew What a strange sort of feeling.

8:31🔗 Adam Just hear her out, Drew.

8:32🔗 Drew Hear her out. Strange impulse in the boyfriend's part.

8:35🔗 Adam Just hear her out.

8:36🔗 Caller I'm kind of nervous about it because he's uncircumcised.

8:40🔗 Drew And why does that make you nervous?

8:41🔗 Caller Well, because I mean I know it's unclean and I was just...

8:44🔗 Drew It's unclean?

8:45🔗 Yeah.

8:45🔗 Drew In what way?

8:47🔗 Caller Well, because I mean if he's circumcised, not uncircumcised.

8:50🔗 Drew Of course, Adam, it's gross.

8:52🔗 Well, I mean, are there any like immediate like...

8:54🔗 Drew No, no. It's not unclean and this is the only country where males are routinely circumcised.

9:00🔗 Adam Yeah, but look at those other countries. You ever see the news footage of those other countries? I can smell it through the TV. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, seriously. What about what's going on over here in Israel and in all this Gaza Strip nonsense and everything? I mean, come on, I can smell that coming through the set.

9:18🔗 Caller But they're Jews. They're all circumcised, aren't they?

9:20🔗 Adam Well, those are, but not the Palestinians. That's why they're fighting.

9:25🔗 Caller They want their foreskin back?

9:27🔗 Adam I never see more rock throwing. It's the year 2000. Can't you wait? Let's work up this. Let's work up to a bone arrow or stick at a certain point. I mean, Jesus Christ. It's like a Cro-Magnum Man over there. They're throwing rocks.

9:42🔗 Drew So Megan, maybe this isn't something you're ready to do yet, but you don't have to worry about it being something contagious.

9:48🔗 Adam Is this the only problem?

9:50🔗 Yeah.

9:52🔗 Adam That's your only issue.

9:53🔗 Drew Pretty much. Yeah, he'll want it in a year from now and two years from now and three years from now.

9:57🔗 Adam Here's my point. If he was circumcised, you'd have no difficulty with this.

10:04🔗 Drew Yes or no?

10:04🔗 Caller Not no.

10:06🔗 Adam No. This is the only issue. It's not a convenient excuse.

10:09🔗 Caller Yeah. Yes, it's not.

10:11🔗 Drew I don't know.

10:11🔗 Caller It just seems kind of gross to me.

10:12🔗 Caller But I bet you he knows how to wash it. He's learned how to pull the skin back and go in there and put the soap.

10:17🔗 Drew Actually, he can present himself in such a way that you won't even know the difference.

10:21🔗 Caller Okay.

10:21🔗 Adam That's true.

10:22🔗 Drew You tell him to keep that out of the way.

10:25🔗 Adam Guys, do a little hot tubbing or something before you do it. Then you just get that chlorine take. You guys know what I'm talking about. You guys know what I'm talking about. You've done that, right?

10:35🔗 Drew Giving a blowjob. A hot tub? Yeah.

10:39🔗 Adam Yeah. You had to work your way through med school. Pedro?

10:44🔗 Yes.

10:44🔗 Adam There's a lot of wealthy Arabs at that holiday in that was near campus. You'd work your way around the pool on a weekend, pick up seven, eight hundred bucks, right?

10:54🔗 Yep.

10:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

10:55🔗 That's true.

10:56🔗 Adam Pedro?

10:56🔗 Caller Yes.

10:57🔗 Adam What's up?

10:58🔗 Caller I have a simple question. First, I want to say hi to you, Adam and Dr. Drew. Pedro.

11:02🔗 Adam Thank you.

11:02🔗 Caller I have a question. My girlfriend, she's been on the pill for about, I would say, about a year and a half now. Maybe a year. I can't remember. And we had sex, I would say, September the 23rd, and lately, the past week, she's been throwing up, waking up nauseous, throwing up. She can't hold down food. So I thought she was pregnant. So she took an EPT test, and I would say, last Monday, came out negative. Now, Thursday, she went back to school and she threw up about three or four times in school. So she still thought she was pregnant. So she went to the doctor, they gave her a blood test, and the blood test came out negative on Friday. I was just trying to see what is probably wrong with her, why she's constantly throwing up, is she sick or something? Is she using an endocrinology test? Like, are we going to stick a camera down her stomach to see what's wrong with her?

11:51🔗 Drew No, that's a gastroenterology test. Esophageal gastroscopy, and that needs to happen, for sure, because gastritis and ulcers can do this, something called a gastric outlet obstruction, gallbladder disease can do this, a lot of things can do this. So it needs a workup, right?

12:05🔗 Caller Oh, a simple question. She's also an emic, she was an emic before.

12:09🔗 Drew So this is something that needs attention, okay?

12:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:13🔗 Adam Does she have an eating disorder?

12:14🔗 Caller She did before when she was younger, before I was with her.

12:17🔗 Drew This may be, well, you don't get over those because of a relationship, so this may be part of that too.

12:21🔗 Adam Now, he's not implying that he cured her, he's just saying before he met her.

12:25🔗 Drew Make sure the gastroenterologist knows that she has that history, okay?

12:28🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, but I was trying to say, you think she might be pregnant or anything?

12:31🔗 Drew No.

12:31🔗 Caller It's only been three weeks.

12:32🔗 Drew Hey, Pedro, there's a lot of other things that cause this besides pregnancy, and you've already ruled pregnancy out.

12:37🔗 Adam Well, she's probably throwing the kid up by now anyway. I don't know how it works, but I know if it's in the stomach, it's certainly throw it up and do the math. All right, Pedro, write that down. Now, listen, yeah, get her checked out, and maybe this is, could this be, if you spend a good amount of time throwing up...

12:55🔗 Drew You can start vomiting spontaneously very easily.

12:57🔗 Adam You can.

12:57🔗 Drew Oh, yes. And emotional upset, people that have well-established bulimia will vomit.

13:03🔗 Adam When they get upset.

13:04🔗 Drew Yeah. And or not, sometimes they just start vomiting spontaneously no matter what, they can't keep things down.

13:08🔗 Adam What's up with the people who are vomiting before the big game, before the wedding, before the big test? You know what I'm talking about? I know it's nerves. I've had nerves many times, but it never felt like vomiting.

13:20🔗 Drew Oh, I have.

13:20🔗 Adam Oh, you have?

13:21🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

13:21🔗 Adam What is it? It's like the way you react?

13:24🔗 Drew Yeah, your body needs to unload when it's... Really?

13:27🔗 Adam I get tired.

13:28🔗 Caller I get diarrhea.

13:29🔗 Adam You do?

13:30🔗 Drew Thank you for bringing that up, Kim. I was going to bring that up, but I thought, man, I don't care.

13:33🔗 Adam Fantastic. You think about that tonight when I'm asked about it. Oh, boy, I bet that Kim was nervous when the show premiered last week.

13:40🔗 Caller I got the runs.

13:41🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. I bet you have kittens in your stomach, Kim. Come on, baby. Get on the toilet. Who are you going to mop in there? Oh, no. One roll? No way. Show them how to get a bathrobe. Yeah. That's right.

13:55🔗 Okay.

13:59🔗 Adam Yeah.

13:59🔗 Drew Yeah, stuff will come out. You'll evacuate from the other end too if you really get scared. Both, number one and number two.

14:04🔗 Adam You're just like a chicken getting slotted or something, and stuff starts coming out?

14:09🔗 Drew You'll do that.

14:10🔗 Adam I will? Oh, you mean when I get my head cut off?

14:12🔗 Drew Well, not just head cut off, but you give it enough fear or some people.

14:15🔗 Adam No, but I've done like Golden Gloves boxing and football games and stand-up and stuff. I've been in like a nerve-wracking situation. I get tired. I want to relax. I feel like I'm going to sleep.

14:27🔗 Drew We know how effed up you are, though. Come on.

14:29🔗 Adam You think that's it?

14:29🔗 Drew Yeah.

14:30🔗 Adam Yeah. I could always remember the coach before the big game in the locker room. I'd be yawning, and he'd always stop in the middle and go, am I boring you, Corolla? That was always the big one, but I'd just get...

14:44🔗 Caller Your body would shut down.

14:45🔗 Adam Yes. My body reacts by total lack of energy, and I think, how the hell am I going to go out and do whatever I'm supposed to do when I can't move?

14:53🔗 Drew Hang on a second. Hang on a second. We're talking about...

14:54🔗 Adam A throwing up, huh?

14:55🔗 Drew Hey, listen.

14:56🔗 Adam Well, I'd like to hang out with you two before that.

14:58🔗 Drew Speaking of therapists, you're going to read. You're going to take care of this book and get back to me.

15:01🔗 Adam Was I talking about a therapist?

15:04🔗 Drew We were talking about how weird you are and how troubled you are.

15:06🔗 Adam I didn't bring up therapy.

15:07🔗 Drew I brought up therapists in my own mind.

15:08🔗 Adam Okay, here's what happened. I told my shrink yesterday, I said, sorry, last week, I said I got to start reading. I can't stand reading. I hate reading. I'm no good at reading. I got to start reading. And he said, well, what would you like to read? And I said, well, I guess I'd like a biography. And he said, okay, here's what you need to do. You go out and pick yourself out of biography. And when you come in here the next next week, I want you to tell me which biography you picked out. And I said, done and done. Now it's night before night before. I'm going in tomorrow morning. Now, the thing is, is I go in at 10 in the morning, and I don't think the book store is open until 10. I think they open at 8.45 in the morning.

15:46🔗 Drew No way.

15:46🔗 Adam So I called Drew.

15:48🔗 Caller He said, bring me one of your biographies.

15:50🔗 Adam I said, you got a biography over there?

15:52🔗 Caller Well, actually goes, I would have brought you Judy Garland or Betty Davis.

15:55🔗 Drew Oh, Judy Garland, yeah, maybe Barbara Streisand.

15:57🔗 Adam I should have called you.

16:00🔗 Caller Malcolm X.

16:01🔗 Drew That's actually a great biography. But what he wanted was something I just happened to have bought for Douglas, my eight-year-old, yesterday, which was a biography of nine baseball greats in like 50 pages of a big print.

16:14🔗 Adam Yeah, a lot of pictures.

16:15🔗 Drew He wanted that. He said, no way. No way. We're bringing the Theodore Roosevelt.

16:20🔗 Adam Do they make pop-up biographies? That's what I'm looking for.

16:23🔗 Caller Scratch and sniff.

16:25🔗 Adam All right, but here's the deal. When I go in there tomorrow-

16:27🔗 Drew He's going to be very impressed.

16:28🔗 Adam This is going to be great though.

16:29🔗 Caller Unless he's listening to the show tonight.

16:30🔗 Adam Yeah, right. Theodore Roosevelt. I didn't know. You never spoke of him. Oh, he was a great senator. He invented the- Christ. You-

16:40🔗 Drew I swear to God.

16:41🔗 Caller He brought you the thickest one too.

16:43🔗 Drew No, but I only want to read a couple of pages. He'll like the beginning of this book.

16:45🔗 Adam Drew, do you- hold on a second. There's no picture on it. You want your 872 pages and no pictures? How dare you?

16:53🔗 Drew You read 200 and you will enjoy it. This is about a guy that you will relate to. I swear to God.

16:56🔗 Adam Why do you have to rub it in my face?

16:59🔗 Drew No, just read 200. Biographies are all 600 pages.

17:04🔗 Caller They are.

17:06🔗 Adam I'm talking about a biography on someone who died at like 19. Maybe something like James Dean or something like that.

17:13🔗 Drew Tutankhamun or something.

17:14🔗 Adam Yeah.

17:15🔗 Drew Something we know anything about either. Brenda, it's 30.

17:21🔗 Adam Brenda?

17:22🔗 Kim Coles Yeah.

17:22🔗 Adam What's up?

17:24🔗 Kim Coles Oh, I was calling in regards to the last caller. My boyfriend's not circumcised.

17:30🔗 It stinks.

17:32🔗 Kim Coles Great.

17:32🔗 It's definitely not.

17:34🔗 Caller I mean, he cleans.

17:35🔗 He does.

17:36🔗 But when I go down, it's just...

17:38🔗 Drew Yeah, but maybe it's just his funk and not the circumcision issue.

17:42🔗 Adam You got to look at it this way. Man's sack in groin region is pretty funky no matter what. Kim's nodding over there in a big way.

17:53🔗 Drew You don't think so? You're just telling us that your boyfriend is.

17:55🔗 Well, no. He has a smell.

17:57🔗 I don't mind doing it as long as it doesn't smell. I mean, every time...

18:02🔗 Drew Brenda?

18:02🔗 Caller Is it freshly washed?

18:04🔗 Drew Wait a minute. Brenda?

18:05🔗 Does the smell come off?

18:06🔗 Caller I said, can he like put it in the sink and wash it just before you all do it? Like, you know, rub it down with a little... I'm serious. I get it freshly washed.

18:15🔗 Caller He does. He definitely... I mean, or I'll wash it for him when I get out.

18:20🔗 Drew Brenda, the point is, it may not be the circumcision.

18:23🔗 Adam No, it's probably a combination. We've all done the quick junk wash in the sink. Third, fourth date, things are going well. So you're on your second bottle of wine, you excuse yourself into the bathroom, and it's like, okay, I got to get a quick junk rinse here.

18:38🔗 They call it junk rinse?

18:39🔗 Adam Whatever.

18:40🔗 Caller They call it a whore's bath.

18:41🔗 Adam Yeah, French whore's bath, yeah. And it's kind of funny because on one hand, it's like, I want to wash the junk. And then on the other hand, I don't want to jinx the junk. To wash the junk, it could be jinxing it. You know what I mean? Now I'm not going to get any. But you go over that, you know what I'm saying, Drew? Don't guys do this?

18:58🔗 Drew They say incantations. They do anything they can to get things moving in the right direction.

19:03🔗 Adam Even if you took a nice shower earlier on in the evening at 6.37 at night before you kids went out, it's getting a little bit late. You've been drinking maybe a little dance and something like that. Now it's 1.30 in the morning. It's time for a quick rinse on the junk. I wonder if women do that, too. Absolutely.

19:21🔗 Drew That's why they invented the bidet.

19:22🔗 Adam Your nightmare is when you're wearing a pair of khaki slacks, you got your junk hanging in the sink, and you'll come walk around with that big car stain of water on the crotch. It's got to untuck the shirt after that. All right, Drew, what are you going with here?

19:37🔗 We didn't solve her problem.

19:38🔗 Adam Well, she was just...

19:39🔗 Drew She was just ringing in.

19:40🔗 Adam She was just chiming in. I bet her man's very proud. Hold on, honey, I got to make a phone call. Somebody said his boyfriend's penis didn't stink, and well, you're like a... It's like going down on St. Bernard, so hold on, I got to make the phone call. William?

19:58🔗 Yeah.

19:59🔗 Adam You're 17? What's up?

20:02🔗 Caller Well, my problem is I was sexually molested by a preacher's grandson when I was younger, and it's been affecting me throughout my whole life, I guess, and it didn't end until about when I was about 15.

20:18🔗 Adam Well, how old was the grain? He must have been about your age, right?

20:22🔗 Caller He was about probably five years older than me.

20:25🔗 Drew And when did it start?

20:26🔗 Caller How old were you? Probably about three. It started really young.

20:30🔗 Kim Coles Wow.

20:32🔗 Adam How did you know this guy?

20:34🔗 Caller Because I went to his grandfather's church.

20:36🔗 Drew All right. So what's the question?

20:38🔗 Caller Well, the question is, I consider myself a heterosexual, but I always have feelings about males, but I don't want to.

20:50🔗 Adam Let me ask you, I've not been to church but a couple of times. I know there's a lot that goes on there. Do they actually make time for molestation there? Or is that just something that goes on?

21:00🔗 Caller I guess it's just something.

21:01🔗 Adam There's no break or something in the middle of the sermon where people molest? I don't know. I've been to a few funerals and a couple of weddings but that's not a standard church type thing. So this was something that just went on after church?

21:15🔗 Caller After whenever. Basically, he had control over me.

21:19🔗 Adam Well, I see. How many years?

21:22🔗 Caller A long time.

21:23🔗 Adam How many?

21:24🔗 Caller Probably about 12.

21:26🔗 Drew Until he was 15. 3 to 15.

21:29🔗 Adam Holy Christ. And you didn't want to maybe, I don't know, drop out of that church or he had taken control?

21:36🔗 Caller Well, I couldn't because my parents, I mean, I never told my parents. My mom still doesn't know now.

21:42🔗 Drew Well, just listen, William. Having had that trauma typically confuses people's sexuality. In fact, it sort of renders them gay.

21:50🔗 Adam Where did you do it though? I mean, where in the church?

21:53🔗 Caller He would take me into the bathroom, into back closet spaces and anywhere.

22:01🔗 Adam Is Jesus hanging in the bathroom too or just in like the main room?

22:06🔗 Caller I guess just in the main room.

22:07🔗 Adam Not in the bathroom.

22:08🔗 Drew He's crying no matter where these kids are doing it.

22:11🔗 Adam He can see through what doors, I think holocore. I don't know about the song.

22:14🔗 Drew His mom can't.

22:14🔗 Adam Fire-rated ones.

22:15🔗 Drew His mom can't anyway.

22:16🔗 Adam All right. Jesus' mom?

22:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

22:19🔗 Adam Was that Mary?

22:19🔗 Drew No.

22:20🔗 Adam Thank you. She's crying. William, here's the deal. Whatever you are is what you are. Whether he created it or God created it, or your mom and dad created it, that's what you are and it's going to be hard to fight that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

22:37🔗 Drew It's okay to have these feelings. If you want to sort it out and figure out how to manage these feelings, this is a great opportunity for therapy to help out. I would really recommend you look into that. There are survivor groups of people who survive trauma, surviving abuse and really take advantage of these things because there's a whole field that looks at helping people that have these sorts of histories.

22:58🔗 Adam Let me ask everyone a question here. Hold on a second, Lou. Let's say somebody is physically abused growing up, alcoholic dad, physical abuse, and now they become an aggressive, violent person. We take them and we say to them, listen, your dad was physically abusive to you, now you're physically abusive. Let's see if we can straighten you out. Here's some therapy. What about medicine? Okay, here's some medicine, but here's my point, or whatever was done to you when you were growing up. Let's see if we can fix it now. Now, here's someone who was sexually abused by this older guy. Now he's gay. We know he's probably gay because of this trauma. Not that being gay is a bad thing. It's funny, but it's not a bad thing. But the point is, is do we try to fix him? Or do we go, sorry, you're gay, the cement's dry, better just go with it?

23:48🔗 Drew We help you deal with being gay.

23:50🔗 Adam Why not try to get him not to be gay like we try to get the violent guy not to be violent?

23:54🔗 Drew Because it's not clear that you can do either. And their medicines help contain impulse.

23:59🔗 Adam But we do try to get the violent guy not to be violent.

24:01🔗 Drew Yeah, with their medicines that help contain impulse. They can keep them from hurting themselves or somebody else. But whether you can change sexuality is a debatable thing. Some people think they can.

24:11🔗 Adam No, I don't think you can. Not 13 years of punishment. Hardwired. Not at church. See, that's why you got to go to the synagogue instead. The Jews don't molest. I don't know what it is about them. They're not into it.

24:25🔗 Drew Oh, are you kidding?

24:26🔗 Caller Oh, are you kidding?

24:29🔗 Adam Yeah. I don't know what it is with the Jews. Do you think the Jews don't do as much molesting because their religion doesn't freak them out about sexuality as much? Do you know what I'm saying? Like the Jews, they got all sorts of bizarre religious notions that make no sense at all. You know, you got it, you know, it's like, you know why the rabbis all have that beard? Because they can't put metal to their face, okay? Yeah, that's why.

24:56🔗 Caller Is that why?

24:57🔗 Adam Yes. Now, if they don't want a beard, they can use the equivalent, the Jew equivalent to nair on their face and then a wooden stick to try to scrape it off.

25:07🔗 Kim Coles Wow.

25:07🔗 Adam So it's like, yeah, okay, it makes total sense. No, no, enough said. Genius. We're going with it.

25:13🔗 Kim Coles Right, right, right, right.

25:14🔗 Adam No, you don't have to explain why you can't touch metal to your face.

25:17🔗 Drew Laser.

25:17🔗 Adam You shave with a stick.

25:18🔗 Drew We can laser them.

25:20🔗 Adam No problem. No, that's why they all got, that's why they got the beard.

25:23🔗 Caller They can't cut it, they can't shave, no metal.

25:26🔗 Adam The deal is, I've thought of my grandfather was an old world Jew, and he explained to me all the bizarre, he was my step-grandfather, so we didn't have any blood, but he gave me all the bizarre Hasidic Jew rituals, and it's like somebody made up a comedy religion. It really is.

25:48🔗 Caller All the research is what are some of the others?

25:50🔗 Adam Oh, my God. I mean, they just keep going on what you can and can't do, like on Sabbath, like on Saturday, you can't drive the car, can't talk on the phone, although you can get your manager on the phone or agent on a Saturday, if there's a big deal. If it involves a piece of the back end, I think they can get on the phone, I'm not sure. Cell phone, I think they can do it while they're driving.

26:10🔗 Drew No landline.

26:10🔗 It's great, I know, it's great.

26:12🔗 Adam But here's what makes no sense at all, but they don't seem to freak out too much on the sex.

26:18🔗 Drew No, actually they're sort of into it.

26:20🔗 Adam Right, they're sort of into it. And they know, the Jews are smart, they go, listen, let's not even pretend about the eating or the sex because we're into it. So when we design this religion, let's make sure there's plenty of chow and plenty of humping.

26:33🔗 Caller But you know what else too, the Jews don't have a sense of heaven or hell, do they? So it's like sort of whatever goes, goes. When you die, you die. And so sort of like you don't do anything bad because you're not going anyplace bad, you don't do anything good because you're not going anyplace good, but don't worry about it.

26:47🔗 Adam There's no heaven, there's no hell. Your hell is the earth that you live on when you can't shave anymore. Big fat, your wife's grown a beard and she can't shave.

26:56🔗 Caller But Jewish women have seeded, don't Orthodox women cut off their hair and wear the wigs?

27:01🔗 Adam Oh, it's all.

27:02🔗 Caller So what do they cut the hair off with?

27:03🔗 Adam It's a mess. It's a mess. Now, I think the women are allowed to, but here's the point. The Catholicism, Christianity, these guys, they come down hard on the sex. And when you come down real hard on something, it morphs and squirts out another direction. You know what it's like?

27:20🔗 Caller No pun intended.

27:20🔗 Adam It is like, it is like we come up with all these antibiotics to try to kill, kill everything. And now we get the super germs. And that's what happens with this. And I think this is why there's more of this over there. All right. More thoughts. That's all. High school education genius. All right. Kim Coles is our guest tonight. She is here for the Gina Davis Show. Tuesday night. Tomorrow night, everyone. ABC 930. And I got to check in on the new time because there may be a little something up with the debate and tomorrow night.

27:49🔗 Kim Coles All right.

27:49🔗 Adam Yeah.

27:49🔗 Kim Coles All right.

27:50🔗 Adam We'll be back.

27:51🔗 Caller You know what I'm saying, Adam and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back on Loveline.

28:27🔗 Adam Hey, yeah, it is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there.

28:34🔗 Drew Stop.

28:34🔗 Adam All right. Phone number 1-800-OP.

28:37🔗 Caller What was that?

28:41🔗 Adam Shandala, shandala. Kim Coles is our guest tonight, from all those seasons on Living Single, now the Gina Davis Show. Tuesday nights, everybody. 9.30, ABC.

28:51🔗 Caller One of my co-stars, by the way, speaking of Judy.

28:54🔗 Drew Who we're gonna meet when we go on the show.

28:55🔗 Caller Yeah, when we go on the show. Mimi Rogers is half Wasp, half Jew.

28:59🔗 Adam Nice. Oh, that's a combo.

29:01🔗 Caller And quite a mix, cause I can't tell if she really likes me or really wants me to come clean her house. You know, that's the Wasp side of her. The Jewish part of me like, cause Jews and Black people like each other, but the Wasp side of her would rather me be cleaning her house.

29:12🔗 Adam The Jews and the Blacks aren't nuts about each other.

29:14🔗 Drew Sometimes. It's an interesting heritage.

29:16🔗 Adam Well, they can, but I've always thought, a lot of Blacks have troubles with Jews, and I can never figure it out. I'm always confused by it, because they're like fighting the fight, too. I always thought. I don't understand that.

29:30🔗 Caller You know what I think it is? I don't know for sure, but I think because Jews never let you forget what happened to them, and they make it seem as if, and I don't want to sound racist, but it is as if they are the only persecuted people on the face of the earth. Every group has been persecuted against. But when Black people talk about what happened to us, because it happened a little bit longer ago, and what happened to the Jews happened more recent, and there's lots of photos of it, and lots of documentation, it's sort of like, we've suffered to the, yeah, we know you've suffered, but we were, it's like, they always talk about the six million, wait, let me say, they always talk about the six million, but there are countless number of millions of bones on the ocean floor that occurred during the middle passage of slavery. I mean, there's more than six million. So I think black people kind of get like, well, we've suffered too, can we get our own land? Can we get like a day off? Can we get some, do you know what I mean? And so I'm drawing the broader strokes.

30:28🔗 Drew They get preferential.

30:30🔗 Caller They really do, preferential suffering treatment. And it's sort of like, we've suffered too, we're still suffering, but like, you guys have got a common belief that, it's not even a race, it's a religion that, but they say it's a race. I've been told that it's not a race. So I don't want to create any hell.

30:45🔗 Adam I hate the Jews too.

30:47🔗 Caller I think that's part of it.

30:48🔗 Adam No, I know, it's Clash of the Complainers.

30:49🔗 Caller And they've used their pain to unify themselves and to succeed. And black folks as a whole haven't done that enough. And I think we're sort of like, shut up complaining, we want reparations too. So I think that's what it is.

31:01🔗 Adam I think the blacks are jealous of the Jews in the sense that they both have been horribly persecuted over the years historically.

31:10🔗 Caller But the Jews could assimilate. And look, you take the bird off the end of your name, or the ovich off the end, and you could assimilate. And we can't, you know.

31:20🔗 Drew Or it took a lot longer.

31:22🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah. So I'm just, go ahead, I put words in your mouth, but go ahead.

31:24🔗 Adam No, what I'm saying is, is I think the Jews, the Jews and the gays, is that a religion or an ethnicity now? But they got together and they said, listen, let's not fight amongst ourselves, let's just make some money and open some businesses and take some long vacations and we'll take over.

31:42🔗 Caller Have a few holidays.

31:43🔗 Adam Fine. And I think the Blacks talk about doing that a lot, but they're not getting it done. They're too much in-fighting, too much fighting in amongst the ranks or something. And I think I basically wish nobody had that plan. I wish everyone just went, I wish everyone was just out for themselves. I really do. I really do. And people talk about religion is a good thing. But go take a look at what's going on with the Palestinians and the Jews and the whole the whole night. I mean, there's a lot of battles done over it. I wish everyone would look at I got to take care of myself. I got to do good for my family and myself. And my religion is I don't hurt anybody. They don't hurt me. And I move forward. And I would be fine. I would be perfectly fine with that. I don't like when everyone breaks off into groups. And I don't think it's a great thing for this country or any or the world to just be broken off into a whole bunch of little groups. I wish everyone would just sort of turn into one big melting pot, as they say, and I would be the king.

32:50🔗 Caller I think that's what you're getting at.

32:52🔗 Adam Yes.

32:52🔗 Caller We all pray to Adam.

32:54🔗 Drew He'll be God. Oh, my goodness.

32:56🔗 Caller Oh, yes.

32:56🔗 Adam Debbie?

32:57🔗 Hi, there.

32:58🔗 Adam I'm Yuri.

32:59🔗 Hi, Dr. Drew.

33:00🔗 Adam You're 29. What's going on there?

33:02🔗 Caller Well, first I wanted to say, Adam, I read about you recently.

33:05🔗 Adam Interesting. And what?

33:07🔗 Drew The Bathroom Ball?

33:08🔗 Caller In Glamour magazine.

33:10🔗 Drew Glamour?

33:10🔗 Adam Wow.

33:10🔗 Caller In Glamour magazine.

33:12🔗 Adam Now I'm a contributing editor.

33:14🔗 Caller Are you really?

33:15🔗 Adam No. No idea.

33:16🔗 Caller And not head photographer either. No. They had a survey of people and what questions they had, what they called stupid questions you were always afraid to ask.

33:26🔗 Adam Right.

33:27🔗 Caller And one of the questions that was asked was, should you tip people, should you tip service counter people?

33:34🔗 Adam And they had a quote from Adam Corolla about service counter people.

33:38🔗 Caller Yeah, counter people, such as people working at the bagel store or the coffee store.

33:42🔗 Drew You see the thing about who gets tips.

33:43🔗 Adam Well, let's hear what I had to say.

33:45🔗 Caller Well, you said that...

33:47🔗 Adam Do you have it in front of you?

33:49🔗 Caller No, I don't have it with me right now.

33:50🔗 Adam That's going to be great. It's going to suck.

33:54🔗 Caller Well, it had to do with... Well, actually, I agreed with you. I agreed with you because it said that you said that these are people who are getting paid for their job as opposed to like a wait staff position and for some reason someone came up with the idea that now you have to tip this junior college person resident quote of Adam for putting cream cheese on his bagel and now you're always so afraid not to because there's meat be a chance somebody would spit into your locker.

34:25🔗 Adam Well, here I appreciate you bringing this up.

34:28🔗 Caller Oh, here's my real quick, real quick.

34:30🔗 Drew Yeah, your question will get to about an hour.

34:31🔗 Adam Hold on a second. I got to go on a quick jank here, which is people never say anything, but tipping always involves food. Okay. Look, you go to a hardware store, you run a guy's ass off running. You go to a hardware store and you tell some guy, Hey Pops, I need a 316 Allen head screw with a fine thread on it. And this guy can walk around for a half hour climbing up on ladders, pulling down bins and stuff. And when he gives you the 29 cents screw, you go thanks and you walk over the cash register and you pay for it. You'll never tip that guy. You don't tip your kind of colleges. There's plenty of stuff where you should tip the guy. You've got a guy running all over the place for it. You go to a paint store, you bring in a chip, you bring in a lamp shade, it's a shade of purple. You hand it to the guy. The guy looks at it for a minute, then the guy goes in back and does it. Do you give him a tip? No. You got some punk spreading a little something on your bagel. You go into the juice bar. You get a juice. There's that big bucket of tips. There's tips everywhere. It's all around food. And it's not because it's a difficult job. It's because there's an underlying danger in there, which is don't F with me. I'm handling what's going into your belly.

35:36🔗 Drew What about the luggage?

35:37🔗 Adam The luggage? Yeah, luggage is some tippage too, which again, this is handling your junk.

35:43🔗 Drew Or cab drivers?

35:45🔗 Adam Cab driver involves, cars always involve the idea that your safety is involved with them. Your safety, whether it's what you ingest or when you're taking somewhere, but it's always food.

35:56🔗 Drew So physicians should be tipped by that logic.

36:00🔗 Adam Well listen, if you're tipping a guy who's putting stuff on your bagel, why not tip a guy?

36:04🔗 Drew Nurses too, hanging the IVs.

36:06🔗 Adam Right, okay, I got a couple.

36:07🔗 Caller I had a good pap smear, give her an extra five bucks.

36:10🔗 Adam Yeah, hey, done already? They even know it.

36:15🔗 Drew Someone cuts your hair because the scissors are there on your head?

36:18🔗 Adam Well, that's a thing where, yeah, it's a good point. They could stab you in the jugular with that thing. Now, here's what I'm against. I'll give you a couple of things I don't like tipping and everyone hates it. But you go out to a nice restaurant. There's a couple of things I don't like about a nice restaurant. You go to a Shishi restaurant. You and four or five people eat there. You got a waiter who has your table and four other tables. You're ringing up 700, 800 bucks at your table. You're going to give this guy 200 bucks as a tip or 150 bucks as a tip. Then it's like you're putting down 15 percent. I went out with Jimmy and Daniel the other weekend. I was going, okay, put a little tip down. Jimmy's like, yeah, the guy's good. Give him a good tip. Look, I don't need the guy making 85 an hour. I don't need to make an 85 an hour under the table. On my table alone, he's got three other tables. He's a waiter. If he makes 15 bucks an hour, fine. I'm perfectly fine with that. I don't need this guy to get rich. The other thing that drives me nuts is the valet parking at these restaurants. You pay when you get out. You go to Denny's, you park for free. You go to Nobu and drop 1,100 bucks in there with eight people, and you got Manuel shaking you down on the curb. Three bucks. Three bucks? I went to that sushi Nobu place or whatever, the bunch of record guys. Once there was like six, seven of us in there, ordered a whole bunch of sushi. It was like 1,200 bucks. I walked out to the curb. I want to get my car. I didn't have any cash on me. The guy started yelling at me. I had to go through the ashtray in the car. Here's a dime. Yeah, give it here. And people always say, people always go, I'm on a real jag here, so just hold on now.

37:53🔗 Caller I've got something to add, but go ahead.

37:56🔗 Adam I'm starting to get the swagger. People always go, listen, the valet guys, they're not connected with the restaurant. Yeah? Who employs them? They're just wandering gypsy valets who happen in front of your goddamn expensive restaurant. No. You hire them to come to your restaurant. Well, people go, yes, but the restaurant does not. No. Here's the deal. I dropped 1100 bucks in this asshole. You take $3 out of the 1100 and you give it to the Puerto Rican guy. So, he don't shake me down. What do you want, $1500? Where's the limit? Where's the cutoff? You see what I'm saying? I go get a goddamn Grand Slam for $5.95 free. I drop 1100 bucks on $4 worth of sushi. $3. Now, you show me a restaurant where they pay for the valet, where the restaurant pays for the valet. I'm all over that place. That is the greatest business move in town. The most expensive places are the place that gets shaken down on the curb. And like I said, let them absorb it. You got a place like Nobu where a bunch of high rollers and agents and whatnot are going in there and they're dropping an average of $800, $900 bucks for four, five people sitting there. Let them absorb the $3 bucks. No problem with that. Thank you. Kim, go ahead. Your rebuttal?

39:13🔗 Caller I have no rebuttal. It burns my noodle, sir. You know, when you get your nails done.

39:21🔗 Kim Coles Oh, don't get me started.

39:23🔗 Caller You go get your nails done. Before, after you pick color, you pick color. After they file and they do their whole thing, and I got the Jews and like the Vietnamese hanging out. And after they do the whole thing, before they put the color on, you pay now. You have to pay and tip. And that is the quality of your nail polish job is directly related to how much money. If you tip them a dollar, it's going to chip the next day. And I'm skinny.

39:50🔗 Adam I'm not fat. Yeah, what the hell?

39:52🔗 Caller If you tip them three, four dollars, they will paint your nails. It will last for four years. They put top coat. I put top coat on now. I mean, they fix you up. If you give them a cheap tip, it will chip the next day.

40:04🔗 Adam We Simonize.

40:06🔗 Caller Ha ha.

40:07🔗 Kim Coles Ha ha.

40:08🔗 Adam We Martinize cuticle and Simonize nail.

40:10🔗 Caller You cut cuticle? You pick color.

40:13🔗 Adam Who made?

40:13🔗 Caller Right or better?

40:14🔗 Adam When did this start? Now, these women are all like Vietnamese or where? I don't know where they're from. They're like Vietnamese, right?

40:20🔗 Caller Usually Vietnamese or...

40:21🔗 Adam A Korean or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the major Asian people, like Japanese. To me, it's like it starts Japanese and Chinese and it trickles down.

40:29🔗 Caller Or Korean.

40:30🔗 Adam Roll your dice. Yeah, Korean and Vietnamese and who knows?

40:32🔗 Caller Filipino.

40:32🔗 Adam Grab bag, grab bag Asian. But here's my point.

40:35🔗 Caller Horrible, horrible, horrible.

40:37🔗 Adam Here's my point. When did they become the queens of the nail industry? When did this happen?

40:42🔗 Caller Coastline nail, beautiful nail, when did this happen? I don't know. It could be to the California thing.

40:47🔗 Adam Is it?

40:48🔗 Caller They're making money. My girl wears a mavado. A mavado.

40:56🔗 Adam Is that a watch?

40:57🔗 Caller The mavado. I have to go to the Camarillo Outlet Mall to get my mavado on a discount. Homegirl is wearing the gold mavado.

41:07🔗 Adam I know. Thank you. Okay. Here's another point, and we got to go to break. But I was just yelling about this today too, which is it's important not to wear flashy jewelry when you're in a tip-oriented business. So too. I was thinking about this whole MTA strike today, and I was picturing some of the homegirls out there on the picket line talking about not being able to feed the kids and making ends meet, having difficulty paying the rent. But they got 1,400 bucks worth. They got Mr. T like jewelry and 1,400 bucks worth of airbrush nails. I was saying to myself, if I was a union organizer, I'd be saying, listen, ladies, ladies, I know you like to look good, but easy on the jewelry when you do the interviews, go low, back off on the jewelry. Just a little, minimum, 40 pounds of gold. No more. No more than 40 pounds because it's hard to talk about feeding your kids and making ends meet when you're looking like King Cut. King Cut. All right. King Cut, King Cut. All right. There we go. All right. We'll take a little break. I don't know what we're even talking about. We've got to go on.

42:12🔗 Drew Poor Debbie. We'll get back to her.

42:14🔗 Adam Now we won't. Kim Coles is here. We got to do our own radio show.

42:17🔗 Caller Okay. That would be great.

42:20🔗 Caller We'll be back.

42:22🔗 Caller Hello? Is this Loveline? Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

43:04🔗 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew over there. Kim Coles is our guest tonight. Living single all those seasons, and now moved her way on up to ABC, 930 tomorrow night with Gina Davis on the Gina Davis Show. Okay, we gotta take some calls.

43:21🔗 Drew Yeah, we do. And just call the meeting, you know.

43:25🔗 Caller Hi again.

43:25🔗 Drew All right, Debbie, so what's the deal?

43:27🔗 Caller Okay, I'm 29. I have a boyfriend. He's married. We've been going out for about two years now.

43:35🔗 Adam You have a boyfriend who's married.

43:36🔗 Caller Yes, but that's not the problem. The problem is we're talking about getting together, the two of us, and we really don't, we think that, he thinks his wife doesn't love him anymore, but she doesn't let, she doesn't tell him. It's like she's really wanting, she's really looking for the security of having somebody there to provide.

44:01🔗 Adam Does he have kids?

44:02🔗 Caller Yes, yes, two.

44:03🔗 Adam Two, and the wife doesn't know about you?

44:06🔗 Caller No, she doesn't.

44:07🔗 Adam How often do you see him?

44:09🔗 Caller I see him about four times a week.

44:11🔗 Adam Oh, Christ. Wow. It's not bad. Drew, you wish you saw your wife that much.

44:16🔗 Drew I do.

44:16🔗 Adam And how long has it been?

44:19🔗 Caller Two years.

44:21🔗 Adam Are you guys getting burnt out? Is he, he's probably getting burnt out on his girlfriend.

44:26🔗 Drew So far we've never seen a guy actually leave his wife in this kind of situation. We've had millions of calls like this.

44:31🔗 Adam Give him another two years.

44:32🔗 Caller Well, the concern, I mean, there's always a financial thing, especially since his kids are.

44:38🔗 Adam Okay. But Debbie, here's the deal.

44:39🔗 Drew The reality is he ain't leaving.

44:40🔗 Adam You make a lot of excuses. Here's all I want to say. If he was going to do it, he would have done it within the past two years. As a matter of fact, he would have done it in the first year or for six months. Put it this way. You're in a bad marriage. You're not in love with the person anymore. You meet somebody else. You fall in love with that person. Does it take three years or does it take three months? You get your ass in order and you move on. It ain't going to happen. Fine. Find a guy who's not married. Drew, stop making noise over there. Sorry. There you go. Bob.

45:12🔗 Caller Hey, what's up, man?

45:13🔗 Adam Hey, you're 18. What's going on?

45:15🔗 Drew Bob, the stoner.

45:17🔗 Caller You're God, man.

45:18🔗 Adam That's right. Thank you. The Messiah. Thank you.

45:20🔗 Kim Coles Drew, I love you, Bob.

45:21🔗 Drew Hey, Bob. I love you too, man.

45:23🔗 Caller Kim was cool on Living Single, man.

45:26🔗 Adam Well, if you thought she was cool on Living Single, she's going to be icy cold. I know. No, she'll be hot on the Gina Davis show.

45:35🔗 Caller That's right. All right. All right.

45:38🔗 Adam How much weed you smoking, Bob?

45:40🔗 Caller About a gram a day. Wow.

45:42🔗 Adam How much is a gram?

45:44🔗 Caller It's a 20 sack, so I don't know how to explain it.

45:47🔗 Adam 20 bucks?

45:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:49🔗 Adam What is that? What's a quarter run now?

45:52🔗 Caller I don't know.

45:54🔗 Adam How many quarter ounce is how many ounces in a gram? I don't know. Forget about Bob. You don't know anything. All right. Man, you're like Spicoli over there. Can you go easy on the weed?

46:08🔗 Drew No. Come on Adam.

46:10🔗 Not really. Be real.

46:11🔗 Drew All right.

46:11🔗 Adam So what do you want?

46:13🔗 Caller My girlfriend has a real problem with it. She's been crying and crying because she doesn't want me high, because I don't pay attention to her.

46:22🔗 Caller Right.

46:23🔗 Adam The other day he tried to eat her sandal. Yeah. It was red. It could have happened to anyone.

46:31🔗 Caller Wow.

46:33🔗 Adam All right. So Bob, you got to be putting us on with this. Is this really what you sound like?

46:38🔗 Caller Pretty good. All right.

46:39🔗 Adam Listen, it's fun and it's a novelty now and all that stuff, but it's really super sad in just a few short years. Older burnout, dude.

46:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:50🔗 Adam It's really sad. It's funny and it's novel at 18, but it wears off real quick. All right. Listen to your girlfriend. See what you can do about it.

46:59🔗 Drew He needs treatment.

47:00🔗 Adam All right. Get treatment and we'll be back.

47:04🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm back in a minute.

47:44🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tom Arnold is coming here tomorrow night. Always a good time. What is Tom plugging? He's got a new TV show, a new movie, Animal Factory.

48:04🔗 Drew Huh.

48:06🔗 Adam What the hell's going on with that?

48:08🔗 Drew We'll find out.

48:08🔗 Adam All right. We'll get them. Come on. Kim Coles is our guest tonight. All the, what is it? Five Seasons? Living Single?

48:17🔗 Caller Five Seasons of Living Single. Thank you very much. And it's on like twice a day.

48:23🔗 Adam Oh, yes.

48:23🔗 Caller Syndication. That's right. Which is lovely to me. It's lovely. Those checks come in.

48:28🔗 Adam Let me explain how syndication works. I won't get into the details and the numbers. Here's what you do. You walk to the mailbox, you open the mailbox and then you laugh like a hyena as you walk back to your house.

48:39🔗 Caller About every three months.

48:39🔗 Adam Every three months. In your slippers and rope with your big nails.

48:43🔗 Caller Absolutely. Airbrushed nails. You like color? What color? You pick color.

48:48🔗 Adam And then you bitch about giving the poor Korean woman mother of eight two dollars.

48:53🔗 Caller I usually give them three.

48:55🔗 Adam What other job do you get? Just go to the mailbox. Imagine that everyone. Imagine you got a job where you do your job.

49:03🔗 Caller Then you finish the job.

49:04🔗 Adam You get paid very well for doing that job that day. And then a few years down the road, you just go to the mailbox and, whoa, there's a big chunk.

49:13🔗 Caller There's a little something, something in there for you.

49:15🔗 Adam Hey, remember when you cleaned the carpet over at the Sizzler in 94? Yeah. Here's five grand. Wow.

49:26🔗 Caller It's a racket.

49:27🔗 Adam Yeah, it's great. Thank God they're on strike. They got to get more money. A lot of those actors only, you know, they only make $5,000 a day. Those commercial actors, we got to band together, everyone. Janelle?

49:40🔗 Janelle?

49:40🔗 Adam No, Janelle?

49:43🔗 I'd like to make a case for the waitresses out there.

49:45🔗 Adam You're 21, yeah.

49:47🔗 Caller Yeah, and I'm from the San Francisco Bay Area, and I do work at a very nice restaurant. And I don't make over $25,000 a year.

49:54🔗 Drew Hey, you know that restaurant, Farallon?

49:58🔗 Caller No.

49:59🔗 Drew But they actually bought me dinner there the other night. It was a great meal, and they bought dinner.

50:04🔗 Adam Who cares? Janelle? Yeah. You work in an expensive restaurant?

50:09🔗 Caller Yeah, it's not as expensive as the one you were talking about, but it's a nice restaurant.

50:13🔗 Adam What do people traditionally drop when they go there?

50:16🔗 Caller Usually about 20 percent.

50:17🔗 Adam But how much money are they usually dropping? Let's say-

50:21🔗 Caller Per ticket?

50:21🔗 Adam Let's say a couple or four people, two couples go out for dinner, what does it cost then usually?

50:26🔗 Caller Anywhere over a hundred dollars.

50:28🔗 Drew For two couples?

50:29🔗 Caller No, for one couple.

50:30🔗 Adam One couple is over a hundred bucks.

50:32🔗 Drew Yeah.

50:32🔗 Adam Right. Okay. So let me ask you a quick question. I won't dwell on this, but how many tables is a waitress at a nice place like that? You work at once simultaneously.

50:43🔗 Caller For me, because I have so much overhead, like I have someone who runs my food, I have a busser that takes care of coffees and stuff like that. I also have a hostess who sits with me and a bartender who does my drink separately.

50:53🔗 Drew What does that mean? You pay those people?

50:55🔗 Adam How many? Yeah, you got to pick them out.

50:56🔗 Caller Yeah, I take four people.

50:58🔗 Caller Okay.

50:58🔗 Adam But answer me, how many tables do you work simultaneously?

51:01🔗 Caller Right. Because I have that much help, I'm able to handle anywhere from eight to about 13 tables at once.

51:07🔗 Adam At once?

51:07🔗 Caller Yes. Not an easy job.

51:09🔗 Adam I know. Okay. Listen, genius. So you got eight tables going at once.

51:15🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

51:16🔗 Adam All of them are averaging about 100 bucks, let's say, if it's a couple. So you're getting 20 bucks per table.

51:22🔗 Drew Times 10, let's say.

51:23🔗 Adam Times 10, and they're in there for an hour, hour and a half, something like that.

51:27🔗 Drew Really more like times 15, because it's a lot of couples and things.

51:31🔗 Caller Yeah, they don't tip 10, 20 percent.

51:33🔗 Adam Right.

51:33🔗 Caller This is my point.

51:34🔗 Adam But the point is, is what do you make in an hour? On a shift, how many hours shift are you working?

51:39🔗 Caller Like five to six hours.

51:40🔗 Adam And what are you walking out of there with?

51:42🔗 Caller About $100.

51:43🔗 Adam On a five, six hour shift?

51:45🔗 Caller Yes, because I have to tip out about 10 percent of my sales.

51:48🔗 Adam Right. But how much of that do you have to report?

51:51🔗 Caller I report anything that goes on to a credit card because we use a computer system that automatically logs in. Okay.

51:55🔗 Adam But you're still making $20 an hour. Right.

51:59🔗 Caller But then I get my bi-weekly check and it's about $20.

52:02🔗 Adam Okay. But here's my point. All the years I worked as a carpenter, read plans, built houses, dealt with building inspectors, had my tools and trucks and everything, I made $15 an hour. So stop it. You waiters and waitresses act like you have a skill, you have no skill. You slop the hogs for a living. That is so mean.

52:21🔗 Caller I've defended you on so many things you did.

52:23🔗 Drew Janelle, now you see what he really is.

52:25🔗 Adam I don't.

52:25🔗 Drew Start defending me against him. Come on Janelle, let's line up against him.

52:29🔗 Adam You know, here's the way waiters and waitresses should work. Your boss should pay you $8 or $9 an hour and that should be it.

52:36🔗 Caller That's how they do it in Europe.

52:37🔗 Adam That's fine.

52:38🔗 Caller And the tip is included. But unfortunately we leave it up to humans to go ahead and tip what they think we deserve. And very honestly if everyone tipped me 10% I'd walk away with $0 out the door because I have to tip out 10%.

52:50🔗 Caller For the record I'm an excellent tipper.

52:52🔗 Adam I am too. I just complain a lot.

52:53🔗 Caller Thank you.

52:54🔗 Adam Alright, thank you.

52:55🔗 Caller You know, they work hard Adam.

52:56🔗 Kim Coles Come on. They're on their feet.

52:58🔗 Adam What do carpet layers do?

53:00🔗 Caller I'm not saying they're not hard on their feet too but it's food and...

53:03🔗 Drew It's a little bit of a sales marketing job, a service job they're doing, you know?

53:07🔗 Adam Listen to me.

53:08🔗 Caller Would you like gravy with that Ms. Coles? I mean, you know, I tip a little extra.

53:12🔗 Adam Would you like some white gravy with your brown gravy Ms. Coles? Yes, thank you, just a dollar.

53:16🔗 Caller Thank you, here's an extra dollar.

53:18🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute, my nails are dry. Can you blow on those? Please blow on them. That's my tipping hand. Come blow on my tipping hand. Thank you. Now get away, get away. They're dry, get away.

53:27🔗 Kim Coles Scurry.

53:29🔗 Caller Blow on my tipping hand.

53:33🔗 Adam It's warming, it's getting warm, it's getting warm. You better blow on it. Cool it off. Yes, thank you.

53:39🔗 Drew Rob, 19.

53:40🔗 Hi, how's it going?

53:41🔗 Drew Hi, Rob.

53:41🔗 Adam What's up?

53:42🔗 I had a couple of questions regarding HPV, and one of them was is there a way for them to test for it in males?

53:52🔗 Adam Is that warts, Drew? You always chime in with what it is.

53:55🔗 Drew It's warts. You really have to see them. And as Adam will tell you, there's a special way to test for the pre-wart lesions.

54:02🔗 Is it with the acetic acid?

54:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

54:06🔗 And does it get really white when you do it?

54:08🔗 Drew Yeah, you can see them. You have to shine a black light on it after you put the acetic acid over it.

54:14🔗 Okay. And then the other question was regarding THGW. It's supposed to be like a vaccine for it. A company in the UK makes it.

54:26🔗 Drew Well, there are multiple vaccines being developed, but nothing's available yet here.

54:30🔗 Is it close to becoming available or what?

54:33🔗 Adam A week to 10 days.

54:35🔗 Drew Yeah, it's close.

54:36🔗 Caller When Jesus comes back, like you said.

54:39🔗 Adam Go up to the mountain top of the folding chair. He'll be here.

54:42🔗 Drew Probably by the time you're through your prime, you're going to have to make it through your prime without a vaccine.

54:48🔗 Adam You'll be married and have three kids by the time they come with the vaccine. Yeah. Aren't they starting to think that warts, now they used to think warts never went away.

54:57🔗 Drew Right.

54:57🔗 Adam And now they're starting to think they burn out.

54:59🔗 Drew That certain subtypes burn out.

55:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:01🔗 Adam Nice. Drew checked my dork with acetic acid and a black light.

55:06🔗 Kim Coles What kind of, what's acetic acid?

55:08🔗 Caller Vinegar.

55:08🔗 Drew Acetic acid.

55:09🔗 Caller You squeeze a chew and you get to that.

55:11🔗 Drew Like vinegar.

55:12🔗 Adam Never ends with a black and a juice. Never ends. So, yeah, you put this acid, it's like vinegar on your penis, and then you shine this black light on it, and it winks at you if you have a wart, basically. Drew did that to my Johnson.

55:29🔗 Drew He was clean. He was a stunt penis. He smoked mirrors out of how he did it, but he put a different penis on it.

55:34🔗 Adam My penis is still in the cellophane. It came in.

55:37🔗 Caller Suspicious.

55:40🔗 Adam Laura, you're 20.

55:41🔗 Caller Hey, Adam.

55:42🔗 Adam Hey, what's up?

55:43🔗 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew.

55:45🔗 Drew Yeah.

55:45🔗 Caller I got the tail end of a call yesterday, and I think it was like a 31-year-old male who had arthritis, and I think you called it cirrhosis, but... No, psoriatic arthritis. Okay, that makes more sense. And you said it was an autoimmune disorder, and you said it was an autoimmune disorder, and you said it was an autoimmune disorder, and you said it was an autoimmune disorder, and every once in a while, for a couple of months, when I get really stressed out, I'll get pain in my hands and my feet.

56:05🔗 Drew Yeah, but that's stress.

56:07🔗 Caller Right.

56:08🔗 Drew That's fibromyalgia closer to that than anything else.

56:11🔗 Caller Okay, is there anything I can do for that to ride it out until I'm done?

56:14🔗 Drew Sleep better.

56:15🔗 Caller Sleep, yeah.

56:16🔗 Drew You gotta sleep better. That, for me, is a sleep deprivation syndrome.

56:19🔗 Adam That is?

56:20🔗 Drew Yep.

56:21🔗 Caller Okay. And I have to say, Kim, I enjoyed the show last week.

56:24🔗 Caller Thank you.

56:25🔗 Caller It was great. And you should be a regular on the show. You're hilarious.

56:28🔗 Caller Well, I actually am a regular on the show. You will see me every week.

56:32🔗 Caller Right on.

56:32🔗 Drew She's bringing Adam and me on.

56:33🔗 Caller No, I mean on Loveline.

56:35🔗 Caller Oh, you're delightful.

56:37🔗 Drew Yes.

56:38🔗 Caller I wouldn't mind another check.

56:40🔗 Drew Yeah, I think-

56:40🔗 Caller Let's talk.

56:40🔗 Adam This ain't gonna be the kind of check you're used to.

56:43🔗 Caller You're so sweet.

56:44🔗 Kim Coles Thank you. No problem.

56:45🔗 Caller And Adam, I love you.

56:46🔗 Adam Thank you, baby.

56:47🔗 Caller And actually, I have a little proposition for you. I know how you hate to pay taxes.

56:52🔗 Adam Yes.

56:53🔗 Caller And I've heard you say once or twice, you wish you could have a couple of kids just to funnel that money into-

56:58🔗 Drew I wish you could be one of your dependents.

57:00🔗 Caller Exactly.

57:01🔗 Adam Oh, no. I have said that I would like to just start adopting and sponsoring individual callers' kids. And here's the way I'd like my taxes to be taken care of. I want to see where it's going. I want a stretch of highway, a couple of orphan kids and like part of a daycare center or something in the inner city that actually has a plaque with my name in front of it.

57:26🔗 Drew And an annual report.

57:27🔗 Caller Well, here's what I'm thinking.

57:28🔗 Adam Yeah, like three grenades and half a tent or something for the army. I want all my little pieces. Yeah, go ahead, Laura.

57:34🔗 Caller Well, you can pay for my college.

57:37🔗 Adam Okay.

57:37🔗 Caller It's tax deductible.

57:38🔗 Adam Fine. It'll be a check in the mail starting tomorrow.

57:41🔗 Caller Where are you going?

57:43🔗 Caller Well, oh, God. Well, I'm thinking for grad school. I am at, I just transferred to a goddamn, or excuse me. I came to Columbia in Washington State, but I was at USC.

57:54🔗 Adam You were? Yeah, that's no school.

57:55🔗 Caller Drew went there. Yeah. Were you there for grad school, Drew?

57:58🔗 Drew For medical school, yeah.

57:59🔗 Adam Yeah. It's not a real college.

58:02🔗 Caller Well, it was a little disturbing anyway.

58:04🔗 Adam Yeah.

58:04🔗 Caller It got a little expensive.

58:05🔗 Adam I understand.

58:06🔗 Caller I had to come home.

58:07🔗 Adam All right. Well, you're fine. What do you want to be when you grow up?

58:10🔗 Caller I have no idea.

58:11🔗 Adam Well, go with a veterinarian. Seems like the ladies are into that. There's not a woman. I've never met a woman who didn't want to be a veterinarian at some point in her life.

58:21🔗 Caller Hate animals.

58:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

58:23🔗 Caller Have a goldfish that died. I think the housekeeper threw him out or something. I put the bowl by the sink to be washed, and the next thing I knew it was gone, and I forgot about it for like three weeks. I didn't even know it was missing. I couldn't care less about dogs, cats. I'm now offended. I see Pakistanis, Koreans, Jews and Vietnamese and pet lovers. Thank you.

58:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

58:49🔗 What?

58:51🔗 Adam I'm with you. I'm with you on that. So you didn't want to be a veterinarian. Every other woman I've ever spoken to wanted to be one. Chad? Yeah. You're 16. What's that? What did you want to be? What did I want to be? No, Chad.

59:02🔗 Caller Hold on. I wanted to be an anthropologist.

59:05🔗 Caller I did.

59:07🔗 Caller A cultural anthropologist.

59:08🔗 Caller I would have made no money, but it would have been really interesting.

59:10🔗 Adam Hold on a second, Chad.

59:11🔗 Caller Or a makeup artist.

59:13🔗 Adam OK, good. More realistic. You know what's funny is we talked a lot of models and actresses and stuff, and for some reason, it's very important when you make a living as a model, especially, but sometimes as an actor, mainly as a model, that you put something very heady down on your bio about wanting to be that at one time.

59:34🔗 Drew Most of them went to medical school.

59:35🔗 Adam Well, no, they were pre-med.

59:37🔗 Drew No, no, they were in medical school and left.

59:39🔗 Caller Oh, really?

59:41🔗 Adam They wanted to be something very heady and lofty and settled on modeling, and here's the deal. I don't give a rat's ass what you wanted to be. I thought I was going to be the first president astronaut when I was five. I turned out clean, I turned out clean carpets, all right? But the point is, is what I thought I was going to be just makes me an idiot. It makes me grandiose, you know what I mean? I want to be a veterinarian, I want to be a physicist astronaut veterinarian.

1:00:08🔗 Caller I wanted to be the first black woman in space. I used to watch, what's that show? The Family Lost in Space. I was like, Mommy, Daddy, can we be the first black family in space? Danger, Danger.

1:00:20🔗 Drew Danger Will Robinson.

1:00:21🔗 Caller Thank you. I thought if Uhura can do it, Uhuru.

1:00:26🔗 Adam Uhura. The black chick on Star Trek.

1:00:28🔗 Caller I thought I could do it too. Then I turned nine or whatever.

1:00:32🔗 Adam That's like a million years in the future.

1:00:35🔗 Caller Pretty much. I'm just glad to see black people in a spaceship 3,000 years from now. That was that was promising for us.

1:00:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:00:43🔗 Caller We held on to that. We really did. We've regressed since.

1:00:46🔗 Adam Lost in Space was great because they left that pedophile guy, Dr. Smith, the openly gay pedophile. They always leave him in charge of the kid, you know.

1:00:57🔗 Caller All the time.

1:00:58🔗 Caller Young Will. Young Will.

1:01:00🔗 Help me, Will. I don't know.

1:01:02🔗 Kim Coles We got off on a tangent.

1:01:03🔗 Adam It's like, what part do you plan? The gay cowardly guy who's stuck on a planet? Fantastic. You must have a great agent. All right. Christy. Where are we going to talk to Christy? Am I confused? You're 18. What's up?

1:01:20🔗 Caller I need to know why I'm cheating on my boyfriend. I care for him and he cares for me and we're in love supposedly. Okay. He's very good to me. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

1:01:30🔗 Drew Well, you don't like that. You like these dangerous, pain in the ass guys. Yeah. That's what you think of as caring, loving. That's who you are in a relationship with somebody who's connected with somebody who is not actually available to you. Right?

1:01:46🔗 Caller That's disheartening.

1:01:47🔗 Drew Isn't that true?

1:01:50🔗 Caller I like masculine men, if that's what you mean.

1:01:52🔗 Adam Yeah. Where's your daddy?

1:01:55🔗 Caller He's at home.

1:01:56🔗 Adam Is he good? You lose anybody? Anything get taken away from you?

1:02:01🔗 Caller No, but I'm not close to my parents.

1:02:03🔗 Caller Why not?

1:02:05🔗 Caller My mom doesn't care anymore.

1:02:06🔗 Drew Why not?

1:02:08🔗 Adam That's not an answer. Your mom doesn't care anymore?

1:02:09🔗 Caller What does that mean? Well, she's tired of having kids and she's, I don't know.

1:02:13🔗 Adam You get the feeling she was tired of you guys earlier than this?

1:02:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:16🔗 Drew Is she alcoholic?

1:02:18🔗 Caller No.

1:02:18🔗 Drew How many siblings do you have?

1:02:21🔗 Kim Coles Just four.

1:02:23🔗 Adam Four in you?

1:02:24🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:02:24🔗 Adam Yeah, that's pretty healthy.

1:02:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:27🔗 Adam It's tough when you're tired of kids. You got an old brood of them.

1:02:29🔗 Drew And what's your dad's deal?

1:02:31🔗 Caller He's a devout Catholic.

1:02:34🔗 Drew Is he kind of an angry, aggressive guy?

1:02:36🔗 Caller No. No, he's really passive.

1:02:38🔗 Adam He is.

1:02:39🔗 Caller It's hard for me to connect with him.

1:02:40🔗 Adam Did he have time for you?

1:02:42🔗 Caller No, not as a child. He was working a lot.

1:02:45🔗 Adam How old's your boyfriend right now?

1:02:48🔗 Drew Oh, geez.

1:02:50🔗 Adam You're eighteen and you're having sex with the other guys?

1:02:55🔗 Caller Not anymore.

1:02:56🔗 Adam How many guys would you say you screwed around with?

1:03:00🔗 Caller I used to. About two other guys.

1:03:03🔗 Adam About?

1:03:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:05🔗 Adam Okay. So about five guys?

1:03:07🔗 Caller Yeah, but I went out on dates and stuff.

1:03:10🔗 Adam Where's your boyfriend? Where's he living?

1:03:13🔗 Caller In Louisiana.

1:03:15🔗 Drew Who are you?

1:03:16🔗 Caller In Texas.

1:03:17🔗 Adam I see. Why are you hooked up with a guy who's only 27 and living a thousand miles away? Yeah. What's up with that?

1:03:23🔗 Caller Because we're like good friends too, I mean.

1:03:27🔗 Drew Yeah, you treat him like a good friend. Oh, yeah. You treat him like a great friend, Chrissy.

1:03:31🔗 Adam Yeah, you're wonderful.

1:03:33🔗 Caller Well, we can talk about anything. I don't-

1:03:35🔗 Adam Well, anything except for the guys you're banging. Write that down, Drew.

1:03:38🔗 That was hard.

1:03:39🔗 Adam That was like out of an errand spell, like anything. I don't think so, Chrissy. What about that, Dr. Rex Dexler?

1:03:46🔗 Caller You're having sex with him.

1:03:48🔗 Caller Whose child are you carrying?

1:03:51🔗 Adam OK, so listen, the guy is out of state. He's ten years older than you. You're eighteen. You're amorous. You're looking for daddy. Why don't you just forget it? Just break up with the guy.

1:04:04🔗 Caller I don't want to.

1:04:05🔗 Drew Well, then, then commit yourself to this thing if that's what you want to have.

1:04:09🔗 Adam How about doing that?

1:04:10🔗 Caller Do I need help or something?

1:04:12🔗 Drew Well, it's hard to say. You're at an age when sort of experimentation, trying to figure out who you are in a relationship is normal.

1:04:18🔗 Adam You're a good looking 18 year old girl, right?

1:04:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:04:21🔗 Adam Right?

1:04:21🔗 Caller I'd like to think so.

1:04:24🔗 Adam Okay, here's what I'm thinking, as a guy, when you want to commit yourself to a relationship, let's say you're equivalent to a Christy, your guy, and you're saying, I got a girl, I love her very much, I've been unfaithful, I'd like to not do that anymore. Here's all you have to do.

1:04:42🔗 Drew Stop doing it.

1:04:42🔗 Adam Stop doing it.

1:04:43🔗 Drew Well, stop, stop.

1:04:44🔗 Adam Stop sending drinks over, stop cruising, stop doing it, stop working. Now, as an attractive 18-year-old girl, it's like being in a rock band, being out on tour, and trying not to do any more coke. What I mean is, you're right in the thick of things. It ain't going to work. Drew, that's not going to work, right?

1:05:04🔗 Drew It's going to be a problem for her. Plus, she wants to sabotage straight away anyway.

1:05:08🔗 Adam Right. Meanwhile, this guy's 27. He has a long-distance relationship with an 18-year-old. I don't trust him. No. God knows what he's up to in Louisiana.

1:05:16🔗 Drew Exactly.

1:05:17🔗 Caller He's getting some Baton Rouge.

1:05:23🔗 Caller That was good. I'm sorry.

1:05:25🔗 Drew She's having her period. Don't worry about it. You're PMD. They call it PMDD now, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.

1:05:31🔗 Caller Dysphoric?

1:05:32🔗 Drew Yes. Mood problems.

1:05:34🔗 Adam Really?

1:05:35🔗 Drew You have to change the name. Medical nomenclature. You have to change the names every five years.

1:05:39🔗 Adam Yes.

1:05:40🔗 Caller Black people change it.

1:05:40🔗 We're colored.

1:05:41🔗 Adam We're Negro.

1:05:42🔗 We're black.

1:05:42🔗 Kim Coles We're African American.

1:05:43🔗 Caller I'm confused.

1:05:44🔗 Adam Right. Here's the point. The reason, I'm not sure about the blacks, but I do know about the medical.

1:05:51🔗 Caller The blacks.

1:05:52🔗 Kim Coles The Negro.

1:05:53🔗 Adam The reason in medicine they change it is because once everyone starts catching on with the lingo, then it's like, hey, anyone could do this job. So we've got to step up again and confuse people.

1:06:04🔗 Drew It's the new guys coming in who need to sort of set themselves apart from the old guard.

1:06:09🔗 Adam Right.

1:06:10🔗 Drew That's really what it is.

1:06:11🔗 Adam Give us some of the ways that you've heard basic words pronounced. It always drives me insane.

1:06:16🔗 Drew Nomenclature becomes nomenclature.

1:06:18🔗 Adam Right.

1:06:19🔗 Drew Skeleton. Skeleton.

1:06:21🔗 Caller Really? And they're changing the names?

1:06:23🔗 Drew Umbilicus. Umbilicus.

1:06:26🔗 Adam Yeah, they spread it around. To me, it's Demi Moore and Demi Moore. For a million years, it was always the Cannes Film Festival. It's now the Cannes Film Festival. And I think there's a couple other ones out there in Hollywood that drive me insane, too.

1:06:42🔗 Caller You say tomato, I say tomato.

1:06:43🔗 Drew But I really imagine the new guys have to carve out their, stake their claim.

1:06:48🔗 Caller Are they really changing the name of... Whatever it's called, it's hell.

1:06:53🔗 Chad?

1:06:55🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:06:55🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:06:57🔗 Caller Oh, I just want to say, Adam, you rock, man.

1:06:59🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:07:00🔗 Caller I love you, man.

1:07:00🔗 Caller Whatever.

1:07:01🔗 Adam Oh, great.

1:07:02🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:07:03🔗 Caller What's up?

1:07:04🔗 Caller Me and my girlfriend, we were about to have sex a while ago, a few days ago, and we tried for about 20 minutes, and I couldn't fit in her.

1:07:12🔗 Drew This was your first...

1:07:14🔗 Caller Yeah, first of all, she...

1:07:15🔗 Adam Right. She got to un-cross her legs.

1:07:17🔗 Drew Is there an anatomic difference between the two of you, or is it that she was so uptight that she was tight?

1:07:23🔗 Caller I'm not really sure.

1:07:24🔗 Adam I'd play the anatomic angle, myself.

1:07:26🔗 Drew I'd play the nervous angle, myself.

1:07:28🔗 Adam Well, no, if I was Chad.

1:07:29🔗 Drew Oh, you'd say it was that.

1:07:30🔗 Adam I'd play that card, yeah.

1:07:32🔗 Drew Sure.

1:07:33🔗 Adam Chad, are you exceptionally wide?

1:07:36🔗 Caller Not really.

1:07:37🔗 Adam No.

1:07:38🔗 Drew When women are very anxious, nervous, they clamp down.

1:07:42🔗 Caller Okay.

1:07:43🔗 Drew You don't get in. And that's her body telling you she's not ready to have you in.

1:07:47🔗 Caller Is there any way we could fix that?

1:07:49🔗 Drew Yeah. Wait a little bit, talk to her.

1:07:51🔗 Adam Run and start some parquet.

1:07:54🔗 Drew Yeah. I know that he wants to, this is where men become their most sort of concrete, most deliberate than that.

1:07:59🔗 Adam Well, it's the only time they really care about the vagina. I see.

1:08:02🔗 Caller How can we rectify this for us?

1:08:04🔗 Drew Yeah. But it's like they're talking about.

1:08:07🔗 Caller The vagina. Sorry, they changed the name.

1:08:08🔗 Drew They're talking about hanging a door though. There's no person attached to it. Let's fix this thing.

1:08:13🔗 Caller Can we just open this up?

1:08:14🔗 Caller Healthy pink vagina.

1:08:16🔗 Caller That's from me.

1:08:17🔗 Caller Oh my God.

1:08:19🔗 Kim Coles You found that.

1:08:20🔗 That's great.

1:08:21🔗 Kim Coles That's me.

1:08:22🔗 Yeah.

1:08:22🔗 Drew You can put your shirt back down.

1:08:24🔗 Are you Hot Daddy?

1:08:26🔗 Drew No, that's not me. That's Jennifer. No, it was.

1:08:30🔗 Adam Who is that?

1:08:34🔗 Drew I know. I can see her face.

1:08:35🔗 Caller Are you Hot Daddy?

1:08:37🔗 Adam Uh, that is.

1:08:38🔗 Drew From Moesha.

1:08:40🔗 Caller But I'm real fat.

1:08:41🔗 Adam That's Monique.

1:08:43🔗 Drew That's Monique.

1:08:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:44🔗 Caller Have you got all the black girls on one date?

1:08:47🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:08:48🔗 Caller I said hot pink vagina.

1:08:49🔗 Caller What is it?

1:08:50🔗 Caller Healthy pink vagina. Are you Hot Daddy? But I'm not fat.

1:08:55🔗 Kim Coles That's hysterical.

1:08:56🔗 Adam Hey Chad. Yeah. How old is she? Sixteen. And is she a virgin?

1:09:03🔗 Yeah.

1:09:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:09:04🔗 OK.

1:09:04🔗 Adam She's a little uptight. So listen, just take it slow.

1:09:08🔗 Drew Take your time. Right.

1:09:09🔗 Adam Take it and get some wine coolers and just.

1:09:11🔗 Drew Sixteen.

1:09:12🔗 Caller OK.

1:09:14🔗 Adam Well, here's my point.

1:09:15🔗 Drew A little eel, a little bass, mix it up.

1:09:18🔗 Adam That's right. Ether rag and some duck tape, some Quaaludes and some Ropeys. No, just Chad, you got to just take it real slow. She got to be relaxed. You understand? All right. It's really. Be good to her. My can analogy.

1:09:33🔗 Caller Is this his first time is what I want to know.

1:09:35🔗 Drew No, we don't care about it.

1:09:36🔗 Adam All right. Let's talk to Brian.

1:09:40🔗 Caller We got to go to Brian.

1:09:41🔗 Adam Brian.

1:09:42🔗 Yes.

1:09:43🔗 Adam You're calling from the ocean.

1:09:46🔗 Caller Where are you?

1:09:47🔗 Adam In your car?

1:09:48🔗 Yeah, I'm in my car.

1:09:49🔗 Adam I see. What do you want to know?

1:09:52🔗 I've been dating my current girlfriend for about eight months and so far, I haven't been able to get her to orgasm once, and I've talked with her about it and I don't think she's ever even been able to make herself orgasm. So she's-

1:10:08🔗 Drew Comarity of that one.

1:10:09🔗 Adam Yes, how dare she?

1:10:10🔗 Drew Let's take a break.

1:10:11🔗 Adam All right. Wait a minute. Yeah.

1:10:13🔗 So she's 22 and I think she's getting to an age old enough to where she should be able to orgasm.

1:10:20🔗 Drew Honey, you're old enough now.

1:10:22🔗 Adam Listen, you're 22, your vagina should know better. Right. It's not a little girl vagina anymore.

1:10:27🔗 Caller Healthy pink vagina.

1:10:29🔗 Adam Your clitoris is in college, your labia is...

1:10:33🔗 Caller Labia.

1:10:34🔗 Adam Your labia. I mean, that was my... When I was doing Mornings in Tucson on AM, Dusty Labia was what I was... Dusty Labia! Mornings with Dusty Labia.

1:10:50🔗 Drew We'll hear more about it.

1:10:51🔗 Adam All right. All right.

1:10:54🔗 Drew We'll get back to Brian, too.

1:10:55🔗 Adam Well, Kim Coles is here. We'll take a little break, and we'll get back to giving her an orgasm after this.

1:11:06🔗 Caller See you next time.

1:11:39🔗 Adam I like the little nipple play. Oh, hey, the mic's on. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Tom Arnold will be in here tomorrow night. Tom Arnold is nuts, good nuts, nice nuts. He'll be in here tomorrow night, talk about his new movie. Kim Coles is our guest tonight. She's currently on the pot. And as a woman, you're always on the pot, aren't you, Drew?

1:12:07🔗 Drew Yeah, you're not.

1:12:08🔗 Adam You don't stand up.

1:12:09🔗 Drew At the latrine, no.

1:12:10🔗 Adam It's always, yeah, it's always number one or number two. But you're sitting down.

1:12:13🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:12:15🔗 Adam Which is good. You know what I'm saying?

1:12:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:12:17🔗 Adam You know why it's good? Because you walk in on a guy who's on the pot, and he's sitting on the pot and you open the bathroom door, it's like, whoa, take it a load.

1:12:25🔗 Drew That's not good.

1:12:26🔗 Adam You drop it a load, take it a dump. You know what I'm saying? You can always just assume he's taking a leak.

1:12:31🔗 Drew Except one of the great shining moments of Big Brother was they walked in on this girl on the john and she yelled out, you know, I was changing my tampon. So that's the other possibility.

1:12:46🔗 Caller That is good TV.

1:12:48🔗 Adam Brian?

1:12:49🔗 Drew Yes. Now, should we come back to Brian? Because we want Kim here for this one.

1:12:52🔗 Adam Okay.

1:12:53🔗 Drew Brian, hang on one second. Where she comes?

1:12:55🔗 Adam Kim's walking in. Kim, when Kim gets, she's trying to get into the studio, by the way.

1:13:02🔗 Drew Could take a while.

1:13:03🔗 Adam Kim, use the knob. What's she doing? What's she doing out there?

1:13:08🔗 Kim Coles Hey, Kim.

1:13:10🔗 Adam Kim, what's going on out there?

1:13:12🔗 Caller What are you?

1:13:15🔗 Adam She just let herself into the broom closet. She's like, hey, this mop is funnier than Adam. Look at that right now. It's got nicer hair. Kim Coles, everyone. Gina Davis Show. Tomorrow Night, ABC. Tuesday Nights.

1:13:29🔗 Caller Can I plug something else?

1:13:31🔗 Adam No. Okay, go ahead.

1:13:33🔗 Caller Frasier, Christmas Episode.

1:13:35🔗 Drew What are the ads we did for Frasier?

1:13:37🔗 Adam I don't know if those are aired or not. You'll be doing Frasier.

1:13:41🔗 Caller I did one show this past season. I was Dr. Mary. I was someone who came in and took over the show.

1:13:49🔗 Drew She was the producer and took over. It was like a man started talking.

1:13:52🔗 Caller It was pretty cool. Dr. Mary. I called myself a doctor. Kind of like someone else we know.

1:13:56🔗 That's right.

1:13:58🔗 Caller And then they've asked me to come back. The episode is actually called Merry Christmas. Named after me. Thank you.

1:14:04🔗 Adam Beautiful.

1:14:04🔗 Caller But you'll have me back before then because I'm going to be a regular on the show because I want another check. Thank you.

1:14:08🔗 Adam Yeah. The check. Yeah. If you want to come back before that airs and give it a plug, no problem.

1:14:15🔗 Caller I get you on my show, you get me on yours.

1:14:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:14:17🔗 Adam I know how it works. We hands wash each other.

1:14:20🔗 Drew You get him on your show. You'll be up here every night.

1:14:22🔗 Caller Okay.

1:14:23🔗 Adam There you go.

1:14:23🔗 Caller I'll do my best.

1:14:24🔗 Adam Brian, you're 24. Your girlfriend's 22, right?

1:14:29🔗 Caller Right.

1:14:30🔗 Adam You're having trouble giving her an orgasm?

1:14:32🔗 Caller Yes.

1:14:32🔗 Adam All right.

1:14:33🔗 Drew How did you get your phone line so clear all of a sudden?

1:14:36🔗 Caller I got out of my car.

1:14:38🔗 Adam Here's my take on this. Can we jump in? I think if you're not giving her an orgasm and she's not having one, you better work the oral angle and make that be your first angle. You see what I'm saying?

1:14:51🔗 Drew Your focus.

1:14:51🔗 Adam That's where your focus lies.

1:14:54🔗 Caller That's where the problem is. Whenever I've had troubles before giving a girl an orgasm, just go for oral, but she doesn't like it very much. I think she's too sensitive or... Nervous.

1:15:07🔗 Adam Too sensitive. It isn't like it tickles her. It's overwhelming for her.

1:15:11🔗 Caller Yeah, I think so.

1:15:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:15:14🔗 Caller Did you try the gentle approach?

1:15:16🔗 Caller I've tried every approach.

1:15:19🔗 Adam Uh-huh. And really, I mean, what if you went down there and you just barely made contact with her?

1:15:26🔗 Caller She enjoys it, but I think she gets close, and she gets really frustrated because she gets close, but then she just can't get all the way there. And so she just tends to just want to give up.

1:15:37🔗 Adam Is it an emotional thing to some degree?

1:15:41🔗 Caller I don't think so. We get along really well.

1:15:43🔗 Drew Is she on medication?

1:15:44🔗 Caller No.

1:15:45🔗 Adam Does she have any problems with intimacy?

1:15:49🔗 Caller No, she doesn't. She's really physical.

1:15:52🔗 Drew That's not what he's asking.

1:15:53🔗 Adam Everyone's a genius. Does she love her dad?

1:15:56🔗 Caller Yeah, she has a great family. I know she loves her parents a lot. She does.

1:16:00🔗 Adam She speaks highly of her father.

1:16:01🔗 Caller Yes.

1:16:02🔗 Adam Okay. Has no idea what he does for a living, like all good women. But, seems to, but loves him.

1:16:10🔗 Caller Yes.

1:16:11🔗 Adam Yeah. Okay. I don't know. All I can say is she's 22. Women do, women do change. Just stick with her. How about juicing her up a little? Get a little booze in her and get down on her. You know what I mean? That sounds good. Yeah. Well, no, I mean, let's face it.

1:16:28🔗 Drew I helped her, madam.

1:16:28🔗 Adam No, no, no. Here's what I'm saying.

1:16:30🔗 Drew Question would Viagra help her.

1:16:31🔗 Adam She's a little freaked out. She's a little tense. She's tense. He gets down there, she gets a little uncomfortable. She's thinking too much. Okay. Let me put it this way.

1:16:42🔗 Drew I feel like we talk to her, we get a very different story.

1:16:44🔗 Adam I'm sure. Brian was banging her sister. She walked in on it. Here's the deal. Let's say there's someone who has a little fear of flying. Okay. So what do you do? You have a couple of Bloody Marys at the airport bar, calm you down, you get on the plane. No problem. Okay. She's got a fear of intimacy. She has difficulty with this. What about she has a glass of wine and lights a candle, mellows herself out a little bit. You know what I'm saying?

1:17:08🔗 Drew Light a candle. That'll do it.

1:17:09🔗 Kim Coles Light a candle.

1:17:11🔗 Caller The orgasm. I feel the orgasm coming on now.

1:17:14🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:17:15🔗 Drew It's a big slug of a sedative.

1:17:17🔗 Adam Yeah. How about we shoot her with a tranquilizer gun out of a Jeep.

1:17:22🔗 Drew You think sometimes you make panic and anxiety worse. It's hard to say.

1:17:25🔗 Adam Well, a glass of red wine.

1:17:27🔗 Drew Red only?

1:17:28🔗 Adam You got to use red. Red will mellow you out. But you have a shot at tequila or something. You might freak a little. But you have a little glass of red wine. You know what I'm saying?

1:17:37🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:17:37🔗 Adam Well, you have a little bit. What's wrong with that?

1:17:40🔗 Drew Ladies, man.

1:17:42🔗 Adam A little crevasse. Stephanie?

1:17:46🔗 Kim Coles Yeah.

1:17:46🔗 Adam You're 22.

1:17:47🔗 Kim Coles Yeah.

1:17:48🔗 Adam What is up?

1:17:50🔗 Kim Coles I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years now. And we've tried to make a baby and it's about a year and a half and it just hasn't worked. And I don't know what to do.

1:18:01🔗 Drew Have you done something specific in terms of trying to do this? Have you checked your body temperature and all that sort of stuff?

1:18:07🔗 Kim Coles Well, I've done that. I've done plenty of things. I just-

1:18:10🔗 Drew What have you done?

1:18:11🔗 Adam She doesn't sound like she's done that, has she?

1:18:13🔗 Drew What have you done?

1:18:14🔗 Kim Coles I've done the temperature thing. I've done the ovulating thing.

1:18:18🔗 Drew To the kids?

1:18:20🔗 Kim Coles Huh?

1:18:20🔗 Drew How do you check for ovulation?

1:18:23🔗 Kim Coles Isn't it by the calendar? How you do it on the calendar?

1:18:25🔗 Drew Not necessarily, but okay, as you try to...

1:18:27🔗 Adam Well, you use the calendar, but you've got to roll it up so it gets up in there. Right, Drew? Right.

1:18:32🔗 Caller That's good.

1:18:35🔗 Drew You blow real hard.

1:18:36🔗 Adam Yeah, and watch out for those electronic organizers. That's going to be a pain.

1:18:41🔗 Drew So what else have you done, Stephanie?

1:18:43🔗 Kim Coles That's about it.

1:18:45🔗 Adam That sounds like enough. Hey, first, you know, you're 22, you're not even married. Why, what's the rush? Just slow down a little. Why aren't you married? Why are you so eager to start a family with a guy you're not married to?

1:18:57🔗 Kim Coles I don't know. I guess I want to have kids and everything before I go to college.

1:19:01🔗 Drew Before you go to college?

1:19:02🔗 Kim Coles Yeah.

1:19:03🔗 Adam Right. So you can go to college in your 70s?

1:19:06🔗 Caller No.

1:19:08🔗 Caller You want to-

1:19:11🔗 Kim Coles Breastfeeding during class or something?

1:19:13🔗 Drew Did your parents do that or something? Where did you ever get that crazy?

1:19:15🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:19:17🔗 Kim Coles No. I don't know.

1:19:18🔗 Drew College is meant to be done as sort of what you do to prepare for life, not to be sort of tag on to the middle of your life.

1:19:25🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:19:26🔗 Drew Unless you have Carolla.

1:19:28🔗 Caller Why do you want a child so bad?

1:19:31🔗 Kim Coles I don't know. We just decided that we wanted one.

1:19:34🔗 Adam What's your boyfriend do for a living?

1:19:37🔗 Kim Coles He's a mechanic.

1:19:38🔗 Adam Oh, that's bad. That's bad news. No tipping, by the way, with the mechanic.

1:19:42🔗 Caller What do you do for a living?

1:19:44🔗 Kim Coles I'm a CNA, but I want to be a mortician.

1:19:47🔗 Drew You're a nurse. Nurse's aid.

1:19:49🔗 Adam Nurse's aid. You want to be a mortician?

1:19:51🔗 Kim Coles Yes.

1:19:52🔗 Adam Yes. I mean, start killing some of your patients. I mean, that would at least be helpful. Why? I wanted to be an astronaut mortician when I was younger. A veterinarian, an astronaut, a mortician, a pirate president, is a professional baseball player, is what I wanted to be. But why a mortician?

1:20:14🔗 Kim Coles I don't know. I just, at work, when the resident is halfway, we have to take care of them and clean them up and everything to get ready for the mortician to come and pick them up. And it just interests me. I don't know why.

1:20:27🔗 Adam All right. Well, hold on a second. Something's wrong with Stephanie. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something's wrong. I can tell by the cadence in her voice. And besides, you want like Vincent Price's daughter raising a kid. You know what I mean? This chick's spooky. Isn't that a 22 year old woman alive who wants to be a mortician? That's freaky. And she's got something going on in her voice. Stephanie. OK. Now let's talk about what's up with you. First off, you're a nurse, right? Oh, even worse. So we all know that all nurses are crazy. I've learned that from Dr. Drew in doing this show. Asshole. What's up? Who was it? Someone a junkie in your family? What was your dad?

1:21:16🔗 Kim Coles What is my dad?

1:21:17🔗 Adam What did he do?

1:21:18🔗 Kim Coles He works for the Caterpillar plant.

1:21:21🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Making heavy equipment.

1:21:23🔗 Kim Coles Yeah.

1:21:23🔗 Adam That's working around now. And what division is he in?

1:21:27🔗 Kim Coles He's a welder.

1:21:28🔗 Adam Oh, now we got trouble. He's a welder. And is he ever in the drugs, in the drinking?

1:21:37🔗 Kim Coles No.

1:21:38🔗 Adam No. Did he do anything to you? What happened to you?

1:21:40🔗 Drew He got against the Union? He was ruled?

1:21:42🔗 Adam Yeah. He probably lied on his application, said he was an alcoholic, so he could get into the Union. And did he ever molest you?

1:21:50🔗 Kim Coles No.

1:21:51🔗 Adam What happened to you?

1:21:52🔗 Kim Coles Nothing.

1:21:53🔗 Adam Nothing? You never witnessed death when you were young or anything like that?

1:21:57🔗 Kim Coles Nothing, I can recall.

1:21:58🔗 Adam Nothing bizarre?

1:21:59🔗 Kim Coles No.

1:22:00🔗 Adam When did you lose your virginity?

1:22:02🔗 Kim Coles Twelve.

1:22:03🔗 Drew How old was the guy?

1:22:05🔗 Kim Coles Uh, let me think. Sixteen.

1:22:07🔗 Adam Make that eighteen?

1:22:09🔗 Kim Coles No, sixteen.

1:22:10🔗 Adam Twelve years old. He's a little young, isn't he?

1:22:13🔗 Kim Coles Yeah. I regret it.

1:22:15🔗 Adam Okay. As long as you regret it. Alright. And all you women, as long as you regret ever having sex with anyone but me, I think that's five. So Stephanie, you know, you say as a nurse's aid, you help prep the dead folks for the mortician. You do?

1:22:34🔗 Kim Coles Yeah.

1:22:34🔗 Adam And what's involved with that? Wiping them and stuff like that?

1:22:39🔗 Kim Coles Doing what?

1:22:41🔗 Adam How does the prep go?

1:22:42🔗 Drew Cleaning them up.

1:22:43🔗 Adam Somebody dies in their sleep. Do most people crap themselves when they die?

1:22:47🔗 Kim Coles Yeah.

1:22:48🔗 Caller Is that something that happens?

1:22:50🔗 Drew Yeah, a lot of stuff comes out.

1:22:51🔗 Adam A lot of stuff comes out.

1:22:52🔗 Caller Mucus and stuff like that.

1:22:54🔗 Adam Do you have to mop up?

1:22:56🔗 Caller Not usually.

1:22:57🔗 Adam Well, how do they do that? Take them to the coin up car wash and just throw them in the bed of the drive. That's what I do. No way I'm getting down there.

1:23:06🔗 Caller Some dead crap.

1:23:08🔗 Adam What do you do?

1:23:09🔗 Kim Coles You just, well, why they're in the bed? They usually die in a bed.

1:23:13🔗 Adam Usually in the bed, right?

1:23:14🔗 Kim Coles Yeah.

1:23:14🔗 Adam Come on, mental note, never getting bad.

1:23:17🔗 Drew You clean them up.

1:23:17🔗 Adam Go ahead.

1:23:18🔗 Kim Coles And then you just give them a bed bath. You clean up what they've released.

1:23:24🔗 Adam Yeah, so you do do a little coolly wipe and whatnot, right?

1:23:26🔗 Kim Coles Yeah.

1:23:27🔗 Adam I see. And that's on a...

1:23:29🔗 Caller She'd like to swap that for some baby poop.

1:23:33🔗 Adam On a corpse, right?

1:23:34🔗 Drew Yeah. She wants to start infusing stuff in the corpse.

1:23:37🔗 Adam Right. And now you want to start pumping them full of formaldehyde?

1:23:40🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:23:40🔗 Adam Yeah. And do they cut their guts out and stuff, take the organs out?

1:23:45🔗 Drew There are ways to make them look right. It depends if there's been an autopsy or not, too. If somebody has cut the skull open and things.

1:23:52🔗 Adam Listen, this is a bizarre ritual that's done by whacked out religious nutballs. It really is.

1:23:59🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:24:00🔗 Adam It really is. Okay, listen to me. Hold on a second, everybody.

1:24:03🔗 Drew It's a human impulse. They've done it since the Egyptians.

1:24:06🔗 Adam Somebody dies and we're going to... If you knew, by the way, because I've talked to people about this before, all the sick and twisted bizarre things that are done to a course before it's presented, it is almost barbaric. It really is bizarre. What do you mean? Well, okay, here's an interesting something. Let me ask you this. Okay, Ann, I'm just engaging Ann here. Let's say, and God forbid, but a loved one dies. Something happens to your husband, your mother. A loved one dies. You got you. Okay, let's just say, let's just say your spouse. Okay, it works even better actually for a guy. So I'll say to Drew, something happens to your lovely wife. Okay, she's beaten by an angry mob after speech she delivers. Okay. Now, would you want her handled by somebody? Do you know what I mean?

1:24:57🔗 Caller Would you rather the body be left out to rot?

1:24:59🔗 Adam No. I don't want to turn it into a sexual thing. But what about your young wife or young husband in the nude with somebody sort of combing through them while they're dead? Quite possibly having sex with their corpse, Drew, and your wife isn't attractive. I mean that as a compliment.

1:25:18🔗 Drew I know.

1:25:18🔗 Adam We're talking about having sex with your wife.

1:25:20🔗 Drew She'd be irresistible.

1:25:21🔗 Adam Not a lot of straight guys could turn that down. It's late. They're burning the midnight oil. No one's looking. That's all I'm saying is, would you want that? Wouldn't you be sort of uncomfortable with that? Doesn't that strike you as a sort of bizarre ritual? Sewing eyes, putting a little stitch to keep the eyelids closed, pumping formaldehyde in by removing body parts, cutting into the body, then propping them up so people can walk by and get one last look while they're dead.

1:25:52🔗 Caller They always say he looks good. Doesn't he look good? And they never look good.

1:25:55🔗 Adam But it's bizarre. It's like why when they're dead? Okay, so you do want that?

1:25:58🔗 Drew No, I'm a physician and I'm going to vomit.

1:26:00🔗 Adam Fire them.

1:26:01🔗 Drew Right now.

1:26:02🔗 Adam Bury them. That whole open casket thing is a bizarre ritual.

1:26:07🔗 Drew It's for the living though. It's for the living to deal with their, to make it real for them. They go to denial.

1:26:12🔗 Adam You need one more shot of the person when they're dead after seeing them on a daily basis? Why?

1:26:18🔗 Drew Because you don't really believe it's happened until you see it. That's really literally what it is.

1:26:22🔗 Adam Listen, if anyone needs any convincing that their husband or wife has kicked off, call me. I'll make it crystal clear to them. Now, you get the easel up. You put a nice picture of them up there, the couple of flowers around it. That's the way you want them smiling. That's what you want. I'm going to take it. You know what, Drew? We should go take pictures of ourselves in case we die. I don't trust my family.

1:26:48🔗 Drew It's been seven hours since you've been dressed.

1:26:50🔗 Adam I don't trust Stone Stanley or Howard or my family. I have a picture where I look fat and I'm looking the other way. I want a picture of me holding a Stanley Cup over my head or something. A bunch of flash bulbs going off. Something that really looks impressive. Let's work that out. Alright, we'll be back.

1:27:09🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191 We'll be right back.

1:27:43🔗 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline. Come on, Corolla, Dr. Drew, Kim Coles over there, Tina Davis Show. How do you get a corpse into a suit? I'm alive and healthy, I can barely get myself into a suit.

1:27:53🔗 Caller Yeah, because rigor mortis sets in there stiff, what do they do?

1:27:56🔗 Drew I don't know, I've never put one in a suit. All right.

1:27:57🔗 Adam Well, let's work on that. Sunny?

1:27:59🔗 Hi.

1:28:00🔗 Adam You're 25?

1:28:02🔗 Caller Not really. I really don't want to tell you my age, but I just started listening to you guys.

1:28:07🔗 Adam I just say yes, and let's do that.

1:28:10🔗 Drew What's your call about?

1:28:11🔗 Caller I call to tell you that I live in the Bay Area, San Francisco, and I just moved here from Florida. Just started listening to you guys. You're hilarious.

1:28:19🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:28:20🔗 Caller And I wanted to tell you about Valet Parking and the restaurant I work for.

1:28:24🔗 Drew My favorite restaurant, Farallon?

1:28:25🔗 Caller No, no, no.

1:28:26🔗 Drew But I know that restaurant. Nobody's ever bought me a meal. They've bought me a meal, and we're very appreciative.

1:28:31🔗 Adam Listen, any place Drew goes, you throw this guy a biscuit and a little thing of jelly in a packet, and he starts to give you eight hours airtime.

1:28:42🔗 Caller You're funny. Oh my God. I loved your story last week about getting on the airplane and leaving your cashier coat.

1:28:48🔗 Adam That's a funny story. Well, thank you.

1:28:50🔗 Caller I had to pull off the highway. I was laughing so hard.

1:28:53🔗 Adam Thanks. Anyway.

1:28:54🔗 Drew I'm glad to know you're in danger of people driving.

1:28:56🔗 Adam You say you have a restaurant that does not have Valet Parking.

1:28:58🔗 Drew In San Francisco.

1:28:59🔗 Caller We have Valet Parking, but we have Complementary Valet Parking.

1:29:02🔗 Drew Oh, she works at Danny's.

1:29:05🔗 Caller No, I do not.

1:29:05🔗 Adam Really? What is the name of this place?

1:29:08🔗 Caller Can I say it on the air?

1:29:09🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:09🔗 Caller It's Bridges.

1:29:11🔗 Adam Tap it out and code.

1:29:12🔗 Drew Bridges.

1:29:12🔗 Caller Bridges in Danville. Wait a minute.

1:29:14🔗 Adam What is the name of this place?

1:29:16🔗 Caller It's Bridges.

1:29:16🔗 Adam Can I say it on the air?

1:29:17🔗 Caller Bridges. In Danville.

1:29:18🔗 Caller All right.

1:29:19🔗 Adam Say it again.

1:29:20🔗 Caller Bridges. All right.

1:29:21🔗 Adam You want to give the phone number out?

1:29:22🔗 Caller No, I don't.

1:29:23🔗 Adam Give it out.

1:29:24🔗 Caller You know what? They filmed the movie Mrs. Doubtfire there.

1:29:28🔗 Adam Oh, that's a nice place.

1:29:30🔗 Caller Beautiful.

1:29:31🔗 Caller But you must come up and see me. They'll park your car.

1:29:35🔗 Drew Buy us dinner?

1:29:36🔗 Caller Come and have dinner. She can't buy you drinks.

1:29:40🔗 Adam I heard Feralon buy me dinner. Bridges in Danville.

1:29:44🔗 Caller Danville.

1:29:44🔗 Adam Great.

1:29:45🔗 Caller And you guys are a delight.

1:29:46🔗 Adam Thank you, Sonny. Thank you. Everybody go there. I'm down with any place that is free.

1:29:51🔗 Caller We know she's not 25 because no one 25 would use the word you guys are a delight.

1:29:56🔗 Caller She's at least 35.

1:29:57🔗 Caller Come on, that's not something that 25 year old says.

1:29:59🔗 Drew No one listens to our shows of that.

1:30:01🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:30:02🔗 Kim Coles You're a delight.

1:30:03🔗 Adam Listen, I'd have to hold a gun to my own family to get this. No one's ever called me a delight. Emma?

1:30:09🔗 Caller Hello, how are you?

1:30:09🔗 Adam You're 24. What's going on?

1:30:11🔗 Caller Yeah, I've been with my boyfriend for about 10 months.

1:30:14🔗 Drew Sounds 14.

1:30:15🔗 Caller And about six months ago I was raped. Ever since then, we just recently started having sex again and it's been really awful.

1:30:24🔗 Drew Who raped you?

1:30:25🔗 Caller It was an ex-boyfriend.

1:30:27🔗 Drew Was that your first sexual assault?

1:30:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:29🔗 Drew In your whole life?

1:30:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:31🔗 Drew Wow.

1:30:32🔗 Adam You sound, you got that young girl voice like something's up.

1:30:36🔗 Caller No, just this.

1:30:38🔗 Adam Just this. When did you lose your virginity?

1:30:40🔗 Caller I was 17. All right.

1:30:42🔗 Adam You love your daddy?

1:30:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:44🔗 Adam All right, listen. All right.

1:30:45🔗 Drew So have you gone to...

1:30:46🔗 Adam What happened with your ex-boyfriend? How did he rape you?

1:30:48🔗 Caller Actually, it was just a guy that I saw just a few times and I broke it off with him when I started seeing my current boyfriend and he was kind of just bitter and just really nasty to me. We worked for the same company and he just approached me outside after work with a friend of his and...

1:31:07🔗 Drew And it makes sense, right?

1:31:08🔗 Adam Hold on a second. So what happened? So you broke up with him 10 months ago. You went on a couple of dates.

1:31:15🔗 Caller Right.

1:31:15🔗 Adam And never really materialized.

1:31:18🔗 Caller Right.

1:31:18🔗 Adam Did you have sex with him back then?

1:31:20🔗 Caller No.

1:31:21🔗 Adam And now he approached you at work because you work with him. Him and his friend in the parking lot. What happened?

1:31:27🔗 Caller Right. They forced me into the car and they made me drive somewhere and they raped me.

1:31:31🔗 Adam The two of them? Both of them.

1:31:33🔗 Drew Did you press charges?

1:31:34🔗 Caller Yes, I did.

1:31:35🔗 Adam You did. And what's happened to these guys now?

1:31:37🔗 Caller Actually the thing is they are from another country. They were just here doing some training and they have left the country. It's doubtful that they will ever.

1:31:49🔗 Adam Well maybe they were confused.

1:31:51🔗 Drew But listen, of course you would have difficulty with physical intimacy after an experience like that. Have you had any treatment or counseling?

1:31:57🔗 Caller Actually, I just started seeing a therapist.

1:32:00🔗 Drew Okay, so did she recommend, is it he or she?

1:32:03🔗 Caller It's the he.

1:32:03🔗 Drew Did he recommend any rape counseling or support groups, anything like that?

1:32:06🔗 Caller Actually, it's someone that the crisis line referred me to.

1:32:10🔗 Drew All right, and then just talk to them. My experience has been that support groups are very effective in helping you sort of get going with these feelings.

1:32:18🔗 Adam What, these guys left the country the next day?

1:32:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:32:23🔗 Adam Really?

1:32:23🔗 Drew They're awful.

1:32:24🔗 Adam Where did they go?

1:32:25🔗 Caller They went to Germany.

1:32:27🔗 Adam German guys.

1:32:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:28🔗 Adam Not known for the raping over there.

1:32:31🔗 Caller Hmm.

1:32:32🔗 Adam All right. Well, I'm sorry this happened to you. I bet it was always part of the plan.

1:32:37🔗 Drew With him?

1:32:38🔗 Adam Well, it was like, hey, I work with this chick. I went on a couple of days with her. She screwed with me. And before we leave, you know, listen, if I was in Germany for ten months, I'd do some rape before I came back to the States.

1:32:47🔗 Drew But, Emma, if you were doing okay before this, you've been well put together.

1:32:51🔗 Adam What about World War II?

1:32:52🔗 Drew You're going to get through this just fine. Just give it a little time, okay?

1:32:55🔗 Adam All right, Emma?

1:32:55🔗 Caller Do you think there's anything I can do to make this better?

1:33:00🔗 Drew Listen, your boyfriend, this is going to be an asset test for your boyfriend. If he is a good guy, he will not push you. He will not be anything you should be concerned about rushing. He'll be available, and that's enough.

1:33:10🔗 Adam Hey, Emma, if this really went down, as you say it did, and I believe you, that these two guys essentially abducted you and raped you, these guys were part of some work trial or whatever, Germany is a very civilized place now. They could easily find these guys. I'm sure they have all the information on them.

1:33:30🔗 Drew Absolutely.

1:33:31🔗 Adam How about contacting their employer in Germany or whoever sent them over to your company?

1:33:37🔗 Caller Actually, they work for my company, and they've left the company, and every time I talk with the police, they said that they haven't been able to track them. I don't know if they're pursuing it very well, but...

1:33:48🔗 Adam Okay, if you want to get them, I think you can. I mean, I think there's... Obviously, they have homes and families and stuff in Germany. They work for the company. You know what I'm saying?

1:33:58🔗 Drew Yeah, they should be able to get them.

1:34:00🔗 Adam My brother-in-law is in Germany. Go over there and kick a little ass.

1:34:02🔗 Drew Right on. Won't turn helmet.

1:34:03🔗 Adam That's right. We'll be back.

1:34:07🔗 Caller We'll be back in a minute.

1:34:45🔗 Adam Loveline. All right. Kim Coles. Hey, comey, comey, comey.

1:34:50🔗 Caller Wow.

1:34:50🔗 Adam Very funny world.

1:34:53🔗 Caller All those Jews.

1:34:54🔗 Adam Gina Davis. That's right. The blacks at the airport security and all the Jews running around pulling the strings. I'm not sure about the blacks. Oh, that was way out of contact. I was talking about interiors for a car I was picking up. The blacks' interiors, the grays' interiors.

1:35:10🔗 Drew We're about out of show. This guy cannot stop talking. I'm punching.

1:35:15🔗 Caller You read this book.

1:35:16🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm reading this book. All right, Kim Coles, everyone. Gene Davis Show. Tomorrow night.

1:35:21🔗 Kim Coles Thank you very much.

1:35:22🔗 Drew We'll be on her show and she'll be back here in a couple of days.

1:35:24🔗 Adam Tom Arnold, everyone. Tomorrow night. This is the more for you guys. Speaking of open book. Tomorrow night. Tom Arnold. So, you think you've had a bad time. Tom Arnold. Until next time, Adam Carolla for Dr. Hussain Mahala.

1:35:34🔗 Drew I love you too, man.

1:35:36🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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