1:37🔗
Voiceover
Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.
2:39🔗
It's actually an indoor quarter pipe. So just half of a half pipe.
2:44🔗
You just go up and fly up in the air and then come back down. So you're playing with vert a little bit differently than a half pipe.
2:53🔗
Drop in in the stadium, like where the seating would be.
2:56🔗
And you just get all your speed from there. You come down to where it's flat. You got about 20 feet of flat and then a big 25 foot quarter pipe.
3:02🔗
Adam
It seems, I mean, for those of you who aren't from Los Angeles and don't follow basketball, the forum is obviously where the Lakers played for many, many years just to switch into the Staples Center last year or the year before. And it seems almost impossible to do something like this inside a basketball arena. Is it, it's like a takeoff ramp like what Evil Knievel used to use in the 70s when he'd do a jump like in the Kingdom or something where he'd have a long thin takeoff ramp and then hit the quarter pipe except for he just hit a bunch of buses and then they hit the hospital. But how wide is this thing? I mean, what are the chances of you sliding off the approach?
3:39🔗
Really good. Actually, no, the approach is fine, but flying off the sides of the quarter pipe and stuff definitely happens because you have to go straight up and land on the vert and a lot of people fly that way or fly this way.
3:51🔗
Adam
For those of you who are listening radio, Jim pointed in front of him and then behind him.
3:57🔗
Guest
And depending on how big it is, a lot of the time these things are over 20 feet tall and so you're rolling into it going 30, 40 miles per hour trying to go 20 feet out on it.
4:31🔗
Guest
They have three rounds to the contest, so we'll ride. And then they'll cut like they'll have 20 guys in the beginning, then they'll cut to eight. They'll show a band, then they'll have the eight ride, then they'll show another band, and then us again.
4:48🔗
Guest
You can pretty much go about as big as the quarter pipe is. So if it's a 25 foot quarter pipe, we'll be able to go between 25, maybe even 30 if someone really gets a good one.
4:56🔗
Adam
Is that normally the rule of thumb when it comes to snowboarding? You can get the height of the pipe?
5:05🔗
Adam
Jim, by the way, was voted by a magazine to be most likely a snowboarder to die on the job. So you can look forward to that coming up in just a couple of weeks.
5:25🔗
Adam
Drew is in Chicago because somebody dropped a nickel over there. I think it was last week. Drew just found out about it last night, so he hopped the first plane and he's over there chasing it. I think it's still rolling in the street. He allegedly is going to be on the air in our Chicago affiliate and on the air with us tonight. Soon we're having a little technical problem, but that's fine. We can operate without him because, as we all know from listening to the show, I am the star of this show. I am Major Adams to this wagon train. Joe?
6:00🔗
Yeah.
6:03🔗
Caller
Well, me and my girlfriend, we've been going out about a month and a half, I guess. I just need some ideas to move the relationship along. I mean, things are getting boring. Yeah. All right.
6:18🔗
Adam
Well, you may be done. I mean, if you got to sit around and think about ways to make a six-week relationship exciting, maybe it ain't there.
6:26🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, we've known each other a long time and I really like her. But, I mean, we've been good friends and it's just that we can't always get together when we want to.
6:38🔗
Adam
What are you saying, move it along, though? Do you see the kind of retards who call this show? What does that mean?
6:45🔗
Caller
Like to do stuff because, I mean, basically, like, what we've been doing is just going out with my brother and his girlfriend.
6:52🔗
Adam
All right. So are you saying, you're not saying you're bored, you're saying you want to have sex?
7:08🔗
Adam
Okay. Well, then we're going to hang up on you. Listen, if me and the snowboarders can't help you, it can't be done. Listen, I'm not exactly sure what you're saying. I mean, you want to be closer? Is she holding back?
7:22🔗
Caller
No, she's not holding back. It's just that I need to know what I need to do to get closer.
7:49🔗
Adam
All right. Well, you got to figure out what you want before you pursue it because you don't have an itinerary here.
8:08🔗
Adam
Okay. First base, making out. Now, you guys stop me if I'm wrong because it's been a while since I've been on the dime. First base is like kissing, right? Second base is like making out, feeling up top. Yep. Third base is like getting the hand down the pants. And home base is home base. And then, of course, the dugout, that's the back side. So what base have you gotten to, Joe? Second. Second base. All right. Well, why don't you see if you can stretch that into a triple and then see where that goes. All right.
8:42🔗
Adam
And the next time you call, I'll have a question. Would you, please? Thank you. All right.
8:48🔗
Yeah.
8:58🔗
Caller
Um, I have this girlfriend. I've been going out with her for a couple of weeks. Actually, like a month now. And I haven't kissed her yet. And it's because I don't know how to start the kiss.
9:13🔗
Adam
Right. You don't know, like, which way to turn your head and all that stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Because you're thinking about it too much. You know what I mean? That is natural function. It's like me trying to teach someone to take a crap or something. It just happens. But if you think about it too much, you'll get constipation.
9:38🔗
Guest
It's something that just has to kind of happen. I mean, you can't force that. And when it's right and you're looking at each other's eyes and it's time to kiss, you're going to kiss and just go for it, man. Don't trip on how you're going to go in what side.
9:59🔗
All right?
10:05🔗
Right.
10:05🔗
Guest
She's probably leaving it up to you to maybe make the first move. So she'll probably be happy that you do.
10:37🔗
Adam
A couple of wine coolers wouldn't hurt either. I got to be honest with you. I know you're 16. I shouldn't be telling you to drink, but it does cut the edge a little bit.
10:53🔗
Adam
Yeah. We get this question a lot, and I'm sure everyone goes through it. Usually not at 16, usually more like 12 or 13. But the point is you just do it. You just move in. I'm just going down the lines here. Oh, is Drew on the other line?
11:21🔗
Adam
Well, I'll tell you, if there was a school for it, I'd probably be a certified instructor.
11:26🔗
Adam
Be walking. It would be like a whole class of people sitting on toilets, and I'm walking by the clipboard. Nice, nice. Bobby, you're looking good. Tim, Cheryl, Cheryl, lean back a little. Too much weight. Too much weight on the kneecaps. You understand? You're pushing too hard.
11:43🔗
Adam
Yeah. You're trying too hard. All right. Sloppy Joe's for lunch. What's up there, Drew? You ready to go?
11:56🔗
Drew
I can't figure out how to put the calls up though. I can see what the calls are. I can't get the thing to go. Right.
12:02🔗
Adam
All right. Well, you just tell me the number, the line you want. I'll punch it. All right.
12:11🔗
Caller
Yeah. I had a sexual experience when I was 13, and I felt like I was taken advantage of. And it was with a guy who was a lot older than me. And I didn't think, like, 25.
12:47🔗
Drew
Well... It wasn't forceful of it. That doesn't mean it wasn't rape. It was still a rape. So what's the question about it?
12:55🔗
Adam
And by the way, to Drew, everything is rape. You bump into someone who's in front of you in line. That's rape. You understand? Your shopping cart hits someone else's shopping cart in the produce section.
13:15🔗
Caller
Okay. Well, okay. I guess my question is, in the last six months to a year, I've been dealing with my own sexuality a lot and questioning whether I might be gay, and I want to know if that's a contributing factor.
13:36🔗
Adam
Well, it didn't help, but by 13, Drew, don't you think this sort of sexual cement had dried by then?
13:42🔗
Drew
You would think, but then again, why was he a source for a victimizer? Why was he such a good victim at 13?
14:10🔗
Caller
Because it's kind of a complicated situation, but I wasn't living with my parents. I was basically in a boarding type situation.
14:50🔗
Adam
Family. Yes. It's like, speed up that teleprompter. I mean, I feel bad for the guy, but we're trying to do a goddamn radio show here.
14:58🔗
Adam
Stuart? Listen, don't question. Whatever your feelings are, those are your feelings. You like guys, you like guys.
15:09🔗
Drew
You may have had something to do with it forming those feelings, but at this point, those are your feelings.
15:13🔗
Adam
Those feelings are there. You may want to get a little therapy, talk to somebody, read a book, take a walk, something like that, because this-
15:24🔗
Adam
All right, Stuart. Don't freak out too much though. All right. The gay lifestyle is a better lifestyle. I've said it many times. I wish I was gay. I truly wish I was gay. Hanging out with your buddies. You know what I'm talking about? Living single, carefree, making good money, maybe owning a restaurant, something trendy, something like that. Driving around. All these other saps, driving around in minivans, you got yourself a smart convertible, looking good.
16:06🔗
Adam
I think I've found a poop hole. I mean a loop hole. I think I can work around that. I've been thinking about that. And I'm still, I have a team of scientists working in my basement trying to figure out a loop hole around that. But other than that- Could be better. Other than that, it's a great life, right? You don't have a bunch of kids tugging at you. You travel all the time. I knew, I knew this gay couple, they had separate bedrooms. It was great.
16:37🔗
Adam
Yeah, they'd like bang away in the hall, and then they'd each go back to their own bed or something. They had their own beds. It was a great life. Drew, what a team we would make.
16:48🔗
Adam
Imagine, we take our incomes, we put them together, all of a sudden, you don't have all those liabilities.
16:56🔗
Adam
Yeah, we're living in some kind of castle somewhere. We're both driving, not two-seaters, one-seat cars. Just one seat. We're that irresponsible. One each, right in the middle. Can you imagine that, Drew? None of those triplets, screaming and crying, all those. How much money you feel you've spent just in devices so your kids won't kill themselves before their 10th birthday?
17:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah, right. You've got fences in the middle of your house you're tripping into when you're going to the bathroom at night, right?
17:28🔗
Adam
Yeah, you want to plug a blender in, you've got to go get a note from the power company. You've got to pop out a bunch of stuff. Combination locks. You try to open a kitchen cabinet, you can't get the thing open, you hide the booze, hide the porn. We'd have a big stack of porn right at the front door. You couldn't open the front door.
17:53🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's right. I could be one of those weird gays who upsets the other gays by indulging in straight porn. That's right. Right.
18:11🔗
Drew
Oh no, this sounds even better. Now if you just move aside while we're going, I can look at the porn. Perfect.
18:20🔗
Adam
We got our own sports cars and VCRs in every room in the house. Seriously, Drew, me and you, income put together, carpooling.
18:49🔗
Adam
You know my feelings are for you, Drew. It's just Jimmy's, you know, he's funny. He makes me laugh. It's important.
19:04🔗
Yes.
19:11🔗
I heard.
19:15🔗
Well, my question is mainly for Dr. Drew, who's actually closer to my time zone.
19:21🔗
I'm in Ohio.
19:25🔗
Well, you're an hour behind, I think.
19:34🔗
Well, I had a question about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
19:39🔗
I heard you discuss it a couple of times on the show. And what I wanted to know is I'm still relatively new to the diagnosis. And I'm confused about the testosterone factor, how it supposedly is too much in your system.
20:06🔗
We're still on the male factor.
20:11🔗
Drew
The main thing, Lauren, the big sort of push towards diagnosing Polycystic Ovarian Disease is to make sure that you have proper screening for diabetes, that this disease is associated with insulin. You have diabetes? Yep. Or at least the precursor. It's associated with insulin resistance. And are you overweight too?
20:29🔗
Oh, yeah. I think that's probably what caused it.
20:35🔗
Drew
That's part of the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, the weight excess and the insulin resistance and all. This is all part of this syndrome, and it has different manifestations of different people. But again, they'll probably put you on some glucophage and they will have you specialize your diet and they will have you exercise and try to lose some weight and things.
20:51🔗
Adam
Drew, and that's staying good shape for you, buddy. We'd have like a nutritionist and a trainer who would come over to the house.
21:03🔗
Adam
It's starting to sound like a good life, right? We wouldn't need kids' rooms. We'd have gyms and like...
21:14🔗
Adam
Maybe we set up a quarter pipe and have the guys come over and do a little something on the snowboard. It'd be one big party, one huge party.
21:24🔗
Adam
Oh my god, Drew. Really, seriously. Give it some thought. We'll send a little stipend to Susan and the kids just to keep them afloat. Set them up maybe to a two bedroom apartment in Van Nuys or something. You shell out 800 a month. I put in like 250, 275. Just keep their heads above water.
21:43🔗
Adam
That's right. Could you imagine? We'd be on the cover. We'd be bigger than Anne Hayes and Ellen. We'd be huge. Imagine the publicity. We'd spin it off into a daytime talk show. Drew, I really want you to give this some consideration.
22:28🔗
Adam
Corey is 13 years old. The father is impotent. Jesus Christ, as you know, wants to know if it's hereditary. Hold on a second. Corey?
22:38🔗
Adam
Drew, that would never happen to me, by the way. How do you know your father's impotent?
22:51🔗
Adam
How many did you take? Imagine being 13. At 13, you whack off 19 times a day anyway. Imagine Corey on a Viagra in a liter of Mountain Dew, home alone with the VCR on a snow day from school. His mom would come home from work and open the front door, and just a big avalanche of semen would come out and just wash her down the street.
23:21🔗
Adam
All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll come back with a little bit about snowboarding and concerts and Corey and erectile difficulties all after this. This is Loveline, I'm Adam Parola. That is Dr. Drew over there in Chicago. So far, so good. Rob Kingwell and Jim Rippey are both here. Both professional snowboarders. Jim rides for Burton, and Rob rides for Nike. I didn't even know Nike made snowboards.
24:24🔗
Guest
They make snowboarding clothes, eyewear, all that other stuff, everything but the snowboards.
24:29🔗
Adam
It's only a matter of time before they do that, right? I got a snowboard, Sean Palmer gave me a snowboard two years ago. I still haven't gotten on it because everyone gets hurt doing this. Every time I talk to someone who's walking with a limp, even people in the 70s who look like veterans of World War II, snowboarding.
24:53🔗
Adam
I know. Everyone falls on their ass, and I'm just not prepared to do that. I can't go through that break-in. It's like, to me, it'd be like learning to play the clarinet. You know, I'm past it. The window's closed. I can't suck for that long.
25:22🔗
Adam
Cory? Yeah. So you found your dad's Viagra. And you're assuming he has the erectile problems.
25:30🔗
Yeah, that's what I'm assuming.
25:36🔗
One thing like one eating disorder or something.
25:52🔗
It was like, it wasn't even a drawer with like drugs and stuff.
26:01🔗
Something like...
26:06🔗
He's big, but he's tall and stuff.
26:11🔗
Drew
Yeah, he may be taking medication for something else that you're not aware of like high blood pressure and sometimes that can screw around with your libido or your rectal function. Or maybe he's just using... Some people will screw around with Viagra and use it recreationally, which can be quite dangerous.
26:34🔗
Drew
What with the Viagra? No, he's worried about whether or not it's hereditary. No, absolutely not. It's usually, in most males, it's actually part of a medical syndrome.
26:51🔗
Caller
About a week ago, I had sex with a guy, and he pulled out before he ejaculated. But I've heard about pre-cum, and I just wanted to know what are the chances of getting pregnant off that?
27:07🔗
Adam
You know what post-cum is, by the way? It's pee. It's urine. I've had that before. Yeah. Chicks don't like that. Won't get them pregnant. They still don't like it.
27:18🔗
Drew
Sarah, look, you can get pregnant from it. What difference to make what the exact probabilities are? You can. You should be taking the morning after pill if you've had that kind of contact. How long will this happen?
27:31🔗
Adam
What? All right. Hold on. Hey, Drew, let me talk to you for a second. Now, I know you're in Chicago, and it's always a pain in the ass when you're not in the studio because we talk simultaneously because we don't look at each other, and we don't know when each other is going to speak, right? But what's up with the callers tonight? Why are they having such difficulty? Is it just me? Do you know what I'm saying? Here we go. We're talking at the same time again.
28:01🔗
Drew
Just that she should take the morning after pill if she has a three-day window with which to get that, and if she had that contact within that three-day window, she ought to get the morning after pill, that's all. And she has to, of course, get pregnant. That's why you've got to use condoms. You've got to use birth control.
28:15🔗
Adam
All right. Let me just plug the event one more time because I didn't do it coming back from break. Saturday, September 9th. And listen, I'm old and a geek, and this sounds pretty cool to me. Eminem, Cotton Mouth Kings and Mix Master Mike and a quarter pipe, which is almost as good as a bong in snowboarding lingo, is going to be there in a big takeoff ramp and guys getting tons of air all indoors in the forum. I would not miss this. Doors open at 630 tickets or 25 bucks. But if you break it down into what you're getting, it's like 45 cents per unit of entertainment.
28:54🔗
Guest
It's definitely going to be an entertaining event. You got some of the biggest superstars in snowboarding showing up.
29:03🔗
Adam
Eminem, Cotton Mouth Kings, snowboard. What percentage of that audience you figure will be stoned? 108%, 109?
29:15🔗
Yeah. Hi.
29:18🔗
Caller
Yeah. Saturday night, I had unprotected sex. And so I called Planned Parenthood. And today, I went and got the morning after pill.
29:31🔗
Caller
Fantastic. And drdrew.com. Anyway, but so I'm getting like horrible cramps. So I don't know if I should take the second dose or not. But it also-
29:45🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, it also could be because today I haven't smoked at all because I wanted it to work. And I'm like, you know, I smoke like a pack a day. And the other thing is that-
29:57🔗
Adam
Jeez, Angela, you're 16. I'd like to see up around two packs if that's possible. Just a pack, huh? I mean, anyone can have a tough day, but I'd like to see you get back up around a pack and a half, two packs in the next few weeks.
30:11🔗
Caller
And the next thing is that- She believed you. The other possibility is that the majority of it- Like I have an eating disorder, so I throw up my food a lot. And I didn't do that today either because I didn't want to throw up a pill, you know?
30:27🔗
Drew
Yeah. I think that's more to do with what's going on here. Did they give you prevent or Plan B?
30:41🔗
Adam
She had it a week through her life. She hasn't vomited or smoked a pack of cigarettes. It's great. You gotta take this pill more often, Angela.
30:53🔗
Adam
Everything's good? You're just 16, smoking a pack, doing some vomiting. Everything's cool?
31:00🔗
Adam
Sure. Oh, yes. You're getting the most out of it. You're seizing life. You have life by the tail. Why not? Please. You have an eating disorder? You're smoking a pack a day? You're 16. What's up?
31:16🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. I gotta grab my scratch pad. You're gonna drop Jim's like that. Let's see. Life is you gotta do. How that one goes?
31:40🔗
Adam
Slow down a little, Plato. Life's life and what was the other one? You gotta do what you gotta do. All right.
31:49🔗
Drew
Take the next dose of Plan B. Please don't miss that next dose. OK, we don't need the morning.
31:55🔗
Drew
I'll take it. Don't we don't need child rearing. That's not part of your life's life yet.
32:10🔗
I don't know.
32:15🔗
Caller
My dad's at home. No, I'm like over everything, all my triumphs in life. I'm like set to go.
32:46🔗
Adam
You know, Drew was traumatized as a youth. His ascot did not match his hanky in his Navy blazer.
33:00🔗
Drew
How dare you come back with that? That was your trauma. I'm sorry to bring it up, honey.
33:04🔗
Adam
Listen, we're going to be living together. We can't be taking shots at each other verbally constantly.
33:17🔗
Adam
Whatever it is, Angela, hit the therapist and read some books and take care of yourself, honey. And the whole X and the cigarettes and the vomiting is probably not a great start for the young age of 16. Drew?
33:32🔗
Yeah.
33:37🔗
I was listening Friday to y'all's show. I heard Dr. Drew say something about blackouts and having to do with alcoholism.
33:47🔗
Drew
Yeah, blackouts suggest that you probably have that disease. If you have a family history of alcoholism and you're blacking out and you're young, that's the beginning of that disease.
33:56🔗
Yeah. I just found out recently that my uncle is an alcoholic.
34:02🔗
Adam
All right. Why? Have you blacked out, Eric? Yeah. Now, a lot of people think blacking out means passing out, but it really just means doing stuff while you're awake and not knowing.
34:12🔗
Yeah. I know. It's like a party this summer. I was drinking and I don't remember half the stuff that I did that night.
34:24🔗
Drew
But that's a blackout. The manner which alcoholics drink tends to predispose to a blackout. So that's a sign that you probably have that disease. Then the other risk factor there obviously is your family history. So, it's a good chance that's what's going on. Here's the beginning of that disorder.
34:37🔗
Adam
My, I had a few friends who did this when I was growing up. And, you know, I didn't know what it was. But my friend Rudy, we went to Tijuana with this cat. And he just went, he went completely insane for hours and hours and hours. I mean, he was like a delusional. He wanted to go. I mean, is this, is this part of this, Drew?
34:58🔗
Drew
No, that's actually a toxic psych. Yeah, you get toxic depressions or toxic psychoses. Sometimes with blackout, sometimes not. Blackout just means that your information is not going from short term to long term. You don't know what you've done.
35:10🔗
Adam
He had some sort of toxic reaction. And another time he got drunk, he was at USC. That's your alma mater, right, Drew?
35:18🔗
Adam
He took a cramp on the coffee table of his dorm room. His roommate had him arrested and he woke up shackled to a hospital bed. So that was just sort of bizarre behavior. But here's the thing.
35:30🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. Sure. He can tell it now. Wait till his kids find out. It'll be great. Here's the thing that is most bizarre about Rudy completely freaking out in Tijuana. We used to go to stay with our friends in San Diego. We went to San Diego State, which is really... San Diego State is a four-year junior college. Maybe worse academically. People go there, they lie in the sun, they smoke weed, then they go to Tijuana on the weekend and get loaded and stagger back to their apartments. I mean, never let your kid go to that school. Never. You think they're learning something? They're learning how to get high and buy pinatas and plaster of Paris ETs with Prussian helmets from guys at the border. We used to go to stay with our friends in San Diego State, and what a surprise, these people weren't geniuses. They liked to party as much as we did. We'd all hop in a car, we'd drive into TJ, we'd party there all night, and then we'd drive back to San Diego, which is about a half-hour ride, and stay in someone's dorm room. Rudy, and here's the scariest part about this whole thing, when we were coming back from Tijuana, we decided that he was in the best condition to drive, out of all the people.
36:44🔗
Adam
That ain't, I mean, that is messed up. That's back when drinking and driving was cool, though, by the way, kids. I don't condone that anymore. This is in the late, mid 40s. And anyway, then later on, he went on a sort of psychotic episode where he ran up and down the dorms and banged on everyone's room and yelled, we got to go back into Tijuana and get the men out and all this kind of stuff. And it was big. He ended up sleeping underneath his car on the street. But it was great. It was great. And others, it just keeps going and going and going. I stayed in another dorm. They called me at like four in the morning and told me to control my friend. I hung the phone up and went back to bed. And when I showed up and saw the aftermath the next morning, I was, people were upset at me for bringing him, I guess is the short way of putting it.
37:36🔗
Adam
Rudy doesn't, Rudy and I don't talk anymore because he went to Germany about 15 years ago and I told him to buy me a pair of laterhosen. And he came back with some long leather pants that weren't laterhosen and he wanted his 80 bucks. And I was like, those aren't laterhosen, those are leather pants. And he's like, give me my 80 bucks. I'm like, I'm not paying you 80 bucks for leather pants. I wanted laterhosen. And that was it. Hey, Drew, that's never going to happen to us, baby.
38:23🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah, laterhosen, not leather pants, even though I think the literal transition is leather pants.
38:31🔗
Adam
Well, he spoke German. Maybe he was confused. He heard leather pants. All right. Oh my God. When he passes der Wiener Schnitzel, imagine what's going through his mind. We'll take a, it's not picture and corndogs, I'm sure. We'll take a little break. When we come back, who are we going to talk to?
38:48🔗
Adam
Danielle is 17, has had sex several times and has never reached an orgasm. Wants to know how to change that? We'll tell her all about the tub after this.
39:00🔗
Hello? Is this Loveline?
39:02🔗
Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.
39:44🔗
Adam
Meet his loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Tony Hawk will be in here tomorrow night. Always fun to see him. Very nice guy, as well as one hell of a skateboarder. Rob Kingwell and Jim Rippey are both here tonight, both professional snowboarders. Both gonna be out at the Los Angeles Forum on the 9th, I believe it is. Yeah, Saturday, September 9th. 630 doors open, tickets 25 bucks, M&M, Cotton Mouth Kings, Mixed Master Mike and a quarter pipe with a long takeoff ramp and just lots of good times for the whole family. I really still don't know how they're gonna pull this off, but they've figured out a way to stuff things that took place outdoors in different seasons indoors now.
40:37🔗
Guest
Tons and tons of ice constantly being chipped in the quarter pipe, constantly being maintained is the only way they ever pull it off.
40:50🔗
Guest
It's just a structure, yeah, just a structure. And then they blow it on there. They put it into like a chipper, like a wood chipper.
40:55🔗
Guest
Just blow it on there and then start packing it. It takes a ton of work. Takes like maybe three days.
41:02🔗
Guest
You have to maintain it. Like when the bands will be playing, they'll be fixing the quarter pipe, trying to make it as good as it can be.
41:07🔗
Adam
Right. And who's going to do the judging? I mean, how do you know who's going to win this thing?
41:29🔗
Fill that space.
41:39🔗
Caller
Yeah, I've had sex a lot, you know, because I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we've been doing it for about, I would say, two years, and I've never, ever, ever had an orgasm, ever. And I want to know how I can get one.
41:52🔗
Adam
He's listening to the radio driving home. He's now driving off the freeway overpass. He's going in oncoming traffic. Does he know this?
42:17🔗
Drew
Remember how we did this? So we were going to say, hey, something's not right with me right now. Maybe you need to do a little of this, a little bit of that. Don't come out and say, hey, I've been faking all this time. Just sort of say, I don't know what the matter is, but things aren't happening right now. Maybe you try this, try that. But of course, you know, at your age, Danielle, it's sort of, it might even be unrealistic. Unless you can figure out a way to masturbate and sort of master this on your own.
42:49🔗
Adam
Well, there's just a higher percentage of you having one via oral sex than there is via intercourse. You know what I'm saying?
43:11🔗
Adam
Yeah. What do you think? First off, Ann, would you tell him that you're faking these two years?
43:51🔗
Adam
Well, Danielle, why don't we just do the math? You can have an orgasm on your own through doing a certain technique. Why don't you just have him do that technique, and then you'll get to have an orgasm with him?
44:15🔗
Adam
I mean, 90 percent of these calls end with me going, and why don't you just do that? Here's the response, I guess.
44:31🔗
Adam
Okay. Yeah. There's never been anything less satisfying than this job, really. It'd be like working in some information center at a hotel and having someone say, where's the best pizza in town? And you're going, oh, Tony's. It's right on the corner of Fifth and Elm. You're going to love this place. And every response you got was, okay. All right. If you say so. It's like, would you want to kill yourself at a certain point? I mean, listen, what else can we say? She's not having an orgasm with the guy. She can easily have one herself through just a little bit of rubbing. Let him do a little bit of rubbing. Alex?
45:21🔗
Caller
They say if you take more than one pill, it can kill you. So will just an overdose kill me?
45:35🔗
Drew
The problem with it is not its overdose potential. It's that it's well known to be a brain-damaging chemical. It damages the serotonin cells in the brain that are responsible for maintaining your mood.
45:50🔗
Drew
And even after a single exposure, you can end up with permanent mood problems. There's now a list of neuropsychiatric syndromes associated with even nominal Ecstasy exposure, especially at a young age like you, that is as long as my arm. It's just all kinds of things are being reported now. Mostly, it's in people have used at least 10 times. But it can be after one exposure and certainly one large exposure. So the problem is not over. Overdose is rather uncommon with that drug, though there are some seizures and hyperthermia and things. But the main thing is these chronic, chronic neuropsychiatric problems that develop from it. They may not develop and they don't even begin until 10 years after you used it.
46:29🔗
It won't kill me.
46:33🔗
Adam
Drew said fine. What you heard from Drew is a big green light, a thumbs up, an endorsement.
46:39🔗
Well, I don't know.
46:42🔗
Yeah?
46:47🔗
Huh?
46:50🔗
Drew
Yeah, but it's not the cognitive issue. It's the fact that she's going to be miserable for decades.
46:54🔗
Adam
So she's a little depressed. You're not living with her. We're living together, buddy. No more of these troublesome women holding us back. We're free. Finally free. Free, I tell you, free.
47:05🔗
Guest
Alex, it can't hurt you. There's evidence that from the people back, been using it for years and years when back when it was called Adam, that Dr. Drew said clearly that they have a list of problems that people have started to encounter with this, and if you use it, even once, you might have a problem and might regret it for the rest of your life.
47:50🔗
Adam
Before our transmission breaks up, let me tell you this. And I haven't given this speech in a number of months, Drew, and I think it's time for me to give it again.
47:59🔗
Adam
People hate this speech, but it is the goddamn truth. Here's the deal. Brains come in all different strengths. You know what I mean? They're like extra strength, medium strength, and then there's a sort of, there's the low dosage strength. All right? They call it IQ. We all know these people. We know some people that are somewhere in the 80s or 90s, and we know the people that are up 155, 160. Here's the deal. When you do a lot of drugs, it knocks you down a little bit, knocks your IQ down a little, dulls you down, slows you down a little bit. So if you're up around 150 and you do a lot of drugs and you get knocked down to 135, hey, you're still smarter than the rest of the pack. Not as smart as you could have been, but fine, you're not having any trouble. When you're someone like our last caller, and you're barely cracking the triple digits, I mean, you're around 97, 98, maybe on a good day with the wind at your back, you're up 101, maybe 101. You start messing with stuff and now you're retarded. You go from stupid to retarded, and there's a lot of people that are hovering right there. All right. We got to take ourselves a little break. I'm running a little bit late.
49:18🔗
Adam
Drew, you're getting a rim job and a felching when you get back. After this. Eve Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew. He is out at Q101 in Chicago, right, Drew?
50:28🔗
Adam
In the elevator. You know what I like about security? Security has two modes. Either everyone gets in or nobody gets in. You know what I'm talking about? There's a security guard who just like, go on by, he's not looking, he's not paying attention, he's talking on his cell phone to his old lady, and everyone gets in, in which case he's no good. Or there's a security that lets nobody in. But it's one or the other. And the idea of security is to let a few select people get in. Like Drew, how many times have we been doing some, there's been some concert or something, and we're supposed to go on stage and announce some band, and we can't get on stage?
51:09🔗
Adam
Every time. Every single time. See, in that case, they're on nobody mode. And then there are other times when we're doing things and we're being mobbed by people when they're on let everyone in mode. But all you security guards, listen, you have to be selective. There's certain people who do like radio shows and announce bands and things like that. They can go on stage or behind the mic. And then there's other like crazed people who can't. Maybe I should really, I should give these people a talking to. So you blew one of them and got up the elevator and you're in a fabulous Q101, right?
51:50🔗
Adam
Rob Kingwell and Jim Rippey are both here, both professional snowboarders, both going to be out at the Forum on the 9th. That is a Saturday, 630, for big snowboarding and concert. Eminem, Cotton Mouth Kings, Mix Master Mike, all that even without the snowboarding being an event enough. But now we got guys going down a long takeoff ramp onto a quarter pipe and getting upwards of 20 feet of air. And what an event. A feast for the senses. This, sorry, not this Saturday, in a couple of Saturdays, September 9th at the Los Angeles Forum. All right, Drew, ready to roll here? Also, Tony Hawk tomorrow night. Craig?
52:33🔗
Yeah, what's up, guys?
52:36🔗
Caller
Man, I noticed about two years ago, whenever I would masturbate, I started getting cramps in my hand, and they gradually got worse and worse up until about a year ago. I finally had a seizure.
52:50🔗
Caller
Well, it started in my hand as a petite seizure, and then progressed to a grand mal seizure. Wow. It's the only one I've ever had.
52:58🔗
Caller
Yeah. It's the only one I ever had. I've been to a neurologist, they put me on meds, had an MRI, ECG, all that, and everything came up negative. Now, it's coming around time where I got to go back to the neurologist. I haven't told the doctor anything about that part of it, because it would be on sclerosis.
53:39🔗
Drew
Is it cramps, or is it when you hold your hand in a fixed position you can't release the muscle?
53:47🔗
Drew
There's something called myotonic dystrophy. So that is relevant to your neurologist, that you tell him when you hold your hand in like a fist, you can't release it. You tell him that.
54:07🔗
Guest
Yeah, tell him you ride motorcycles. This has ever happened. You can't take your hand off the handlebars.
54:16🔗
Drew
Tell him that. That might be of use to him. It's something worth looking into anyway. And there's some endocrine disturbances, calcium metabolism problems, that kind of thing. You don't take anything else, any supplements or medication otherwise, do you?
54:40🔗
Caller
No, I was awake when it started. My hand cramped, and then my arm started to cramp, and then that's when I blacked out.
54:46🔗
Adam
I got a calf cramp once when I was whacking off, because I like to point my toes. Sometimes I had to go to that toe point thing, and then the calf cramped right up. I had to walk it off. It was tough. That was at work, so it was a little embarrassing to walk around my pants, around my ankles. Hey, all right. Hey, listen, all you guys out there, I was just thinking about when he was talking about the hand cramp, and I was thinking about when I had my hand surgery like a year ago, and how my left hand is basically, it's coming undone slowly, Drew. Yeah. I'm starting to realize, like, I think I'm getting my corporal tunnel syndrome or something. My wrist kind of hurts, and my knuckles, so, like, you guys see my knuckle, and see, it's like kind of all, like, wait, I'll show you my other one. See, this one's kind of normal.
55:35🔗
Adam
It's getting, like, all screwed up. And I'm realizing this hand is not going to work that well for that many years. You know what I'm saying? So, I'm going to have to switch or grow a tail or something. I'm going to have to break it up. I'm going to have to start working my other hand because I'm left-handed. And if this happens, I'll kill myself. And if I lose masturbation-
55:55🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to have to get, like, a raccoon skin cap or something. I'm going to have to work some masturbatory thing out that doesn't involve my left hand anymore. You know, it's funny, too, is I got to tell you guys, so here's a couple of techniques a guy should do while they're younger. A, practice with both hands. In case there's some sort of accident, you get your hand in a cast, your good hand could be in a cast for three months. You're 14, 15, 16 years old, you're screwed, right? No, you switch to the other hand. So start practicing with both hands. A, number one. B, number two, the full fist technique, not a good one. Work the finger technique in. Never take two, three fingers and do it. Because, Drew, remember I had my hand in that big cast? Yeah. Still able to work it. Still able to work it because I employed the finger technique, not the fist technique. You understand? That's thinking. See, that's readiness. That's planning.
57:04🔗
You are my teacher.
57:11🔗
Adam
I'm just sitting around thinking about, you know, I'm 36 years old. I'm sitting around and I'm talking about whacking off for 45 minutes a night. There's no way I thought this would happen in my life. No way. No way. I can only imagine someone explaining to me my job when I was 15 years old. What are you going to be doing? You're talking about whacking off.
57:31🔗
Uh-huh.
57:32🔗
Adam
They'll pay you. Really? Oh, yes. And your voice will go into many, many cities around the country. And all I got to do is talk about beating off? That's all. Wow. That's great. Make a living off of that? Oh, yes. Quite comfortable. This is great. I can't imagine. I don't know what it is, but this is great. I would have been so happy to hear that at 15. Don't worry. All right, Paige.
57:56🔗
Adam
Oh, would I have been a bigger pain in the ass in school? I would have just been yelling at teachers. Shut up. I make a living talking about whacking off. Oh, his social studies. Please, please don't waste my time. I need more beat off stories. Trig Calculus of French. Oh, who cares? I got a career ahead of me talking about whacking off. All right, Paige, what's going on?
58:54🔗
Guest
It'd be hard for me to list everyone. There's 20 guys. They'd pick a top 20, and just like most of the guys you'd see in the videos and do the major contests and stuff.
59:03🔗
Adam
Yeah. My God, all of these guys are from Helsinki too. There's Turgi Hakonsen and Ingmar Bachman and Jouzy Oxenen and Keir Dillon.
59:20🔗
Adam
Oh, he is? Keir? What the hell kind of name is Keir? Kevin Jones, I thought. Roman Di Marchi?
59:32🔗
Adam
Jason Travis, Mikey, Trevor. Now we're getting to some guys. Chad Abe. We got one shoe on the circuit. Nick Ross and Guy. Okay, so it's just Turg and Ingmar and Jouzy. Guys like that.
59:46🔗
Guest
It's going to be good though. All the boys are going to be there stepping it up because there's good prize money and when everybody gets together we have a lot of fun and just push each other.
59:55🔗
Adam
I guess what are the big, besides the United States, what's the big snowboarding countries?
1:00:02🔗
Guest
Japan's way into it. I'm going to go to Japan in a couple of days to do a promo tour.
1:00:05🔗
Adam
Well, that's for you guys, but where are the good guys coming out of? The same place the skiers are coming out of?
1:00:12🔗
Guest
Yeah. Just because like in Europe, I mean, all the stars there are alpine athletes instead of like football players.
1:00:21🔗
Guest
And they're the ones that had like indoor quarter pipe contests and kind of got this whole idea to come here to the United States. And so we've done a couple quarter pipe contests over there that were really cool, like out on the ice skating rink in a big stadium.
1:00:44🔗
Guest
Burton promo tour and we just go to different places and sign on the grass and hang out with people and it's pretty funny.
1:00:52🔗
Adam
I think the Japanese are jealous of the Americans, you know? They want to like drive Corvettes and waste a lot of gasoline and have big ranches in Texas and wear Levi's and listen to Elvis Presley. You know what I'm talking about, Drew? Thank you. Steve? You're 16.
1:01:13🔗
Caller
I want to know what's the laws on like sex and stuff, like when you're, like what age you can start legally having it.
1:01:34🔗
Drew
Well, I don't happen to have those laws tip my tongue, but I imagine it's around 18. Most states are around 17, 18.
1:01:42🔗
Caller
Because I'm like 16, and I go for like girls who are like a year younger than me, like 14, 15, you know?
1:01:52🔗
Adam
He is. He's going to get one of them pregnant, and then her dad's going to shoot him, but he's not going to get thrown in jail, right?
1:02:01🔗
Adam
So there's a silver lining to this dark cloud, Steve. Steve, don't nail any 14-year-olds. It's bad karma.
1:02:10🔗
Drew
The reason those laws are to protect people, because people's brain development isn't such that they're ready to handle those sorts of close relationships, particularly when they're at that age.
1:02:19🔗
Adam
The law isn't a 16-year-old and a 15-year-old, or a 16-year-old and a 14-year-old, is it?
1:02:39🔗
Adam
Yeah. Rob's not a legal scholar. He got popped for banging a groupie. All right. What's up? Who are we talking to, Drew? You got somebody there?
1:02:54🔗
How are you doing? Good. I just have to say you guys rule, and whatever the best compliment you got in the past for what you do, take it again.
1:03:07🔗
Anyways, I want to talk about pregnancy prevention. I'm familiar with all of the things you guys run through all the time. Obviously, the pill rubber, morning after, and all that kind of stuff, and all the miscellaneous other types of prevention. But one thing I never hear about is timing. I'm wondering why it hasn't worked in the equation of accumulative kind of prevention, you know? It's like, why don't I have that knowledge?
1:03:35🔗
Yeah, yeah. I just heard that commercial on this channel saying you can get pregnant within a 24-hour window every month. And if that's the case, why isn't everybody informed of that as well?
1:03:50🔗
Drew
Bob, because you can't tell when that 24-hour window is going to occur. Oh, really? Yeah, you can't tell when that's going to occur. You can decrease the probability that you're going to... And your sperm will stay in there for 72 hours. So you actually have a three-day period during which you can impregnate somebody, but it's only within 24 hours of population, but it actually occurs.
1:04:19🔗
Adam
Right. So your sperm could be hanging around on day number three. Right. Because the chick's been walking on her hands for three days or how's that work?
1:04:27🔗
No, it's clingy.
1:04:28🔗
Adam
It's clingy. I see. Oh, God knows. That's so true. I swear to Christ, I've gotten out of the shower and still had half of it look like a bird craft on my belly. It's like, oh, what the hell?
1:04:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, but when you got a lot of hair on you, it's hard to get off. I got to use a mustache comb usually to get that.
1:04:47🔗
Drew
But Bobby, the timing method is something that can reduce risk of pregnancy, but it's not particularly reliable. And you got to remember, the population we're talking to is not going to fastidiously follow that, so it's really not a viable means for most of the people we talk to.
1:04:58🔗
Adam
Right. They're not going to be taking their... What do they call that? Basic temperature?
1:05:04🔗
Adam
Basal body temperature and stuff. They're just drunk, stoned, retarded teenagers who are on top of each other with their pants around their ankles.
1:05:11🔗
Maybe like you can get... Like once you find out, is there any way of... Once you find out when that day is, then if you were mathematically capable, could that be possible?
1:05:22🔗
Drew
Yeah, if you could predict magically when that day was, but it can occur anytime during the month in some individuals.
1:05:35🔗
Adam
Drew knows, but he's a doctor. Some women know, but the problem is it could change for a woman, right? Although it probably doesn't.
1:05:55🔗
Adam
I mean, in its timing, right? So if a woman was having a very regular period for a number of years, would it be safe to say that she's also ovulating at the same time for those years?
1:06:25🔗
Adam
Yeah, I know, I know, because you put them all in the same office pool and they all start, the vaginas all start, they all get hooked up like they start emailing each other or something. I understand that. But if a woman was to have the same period for a number of years and there's some women that are very regular, then their ovulation would be very regular.
1:06:46🔗
Adam
And if they had an intelligent boyfriend that was so inclined, he could probably do some math, figure this out, and work around it. We don't like to encourage that because it's a little irresponsible, but it could possibly be done.
1:07:02🔗
Adam
Okay. And it would be effective if you were in a long-term relationship and you wanted to put a little work and do a little math, right?
1:07:24🔗
Caller
Yeah. I took ecstasy a little while ago, and the next couple of days, there was blood in my stool, and I was wondering if that could be a side effect of ecstasy?
1:07:43🔗
Drew
No, I don't think so. You need to have that checked out, Josh. It's probably just an internal hemorrhoid.
1:07:48🔗
Caller
The thing is, it stopped, and then about two weeks later, I took it again, and the same thing happened afterwards.
1:07:55🔗
Drew
Interesting. Well, it must mean for you some association there, but it's not a typical side effect.
1:08:00🔗
Adam
I have a- That's not the side. That's the back, by the way. Do you crave beets when you're high on ecstasy because I'm putting a theory together here? No. You don't swing by the salad bar?
1:08:14🔗
Caller
I was wondering if the ecstasy could be eating the lining of your stomach or something, and that could make you bleed internally?
1:08:22🔗
Drew
If your stomach bleeds, you get burgundy stool. You don't get bright red blood prorectum.
1:08:32🔗
Prorectum?
1:08:35🔗
Adam
You got guys coming on pretty strong this year. Oh, yeah. They have a very strong sponsor. What's Prorectum make? They make the attire, the goggles, they make the boards. The whole thing. Dors Prorectum's been in the sport for many years now. Prorectum sponsors many of the pro events.
1:08:54🔗
Adam
You go Prorectum, you don't go at all. That's what we've always said. Drew, you got that Prorectum.
1:09:02🔗
Adam
You got that Prorectum tote bag we got at the last event. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the Prorectum visor, windbreaker, and goggles in there.
1:09:12🔗
Adam
All right. I think I may be more amused with the Prorectum than anybody else here, but it still sounds like a good name for a snowboarding company. All right, Drew, I'm going to take a little break. Who are we going to talk to when we come back?
1:09:27🔗
Adam
Molly has been on hold for a solid 30 minutes, has commitments with intimacy, and commitment high.
1:09:43🔗
Adam
Drew, I'll tell you, when we make love, when you come back from Chicago in the airport, when we make love, it's not going to be a nice passive. It's not going to be a loving love. You know what I mean? It's going to be one of those vengeance Fs. They're really going to work.
1:10:12🔗
Uh, back in a minute.
1:10:47🔗
Adam
Hey, yeah, are we going to here, Anderson? We're here. Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there in Chicago. When are you coming back, Drew?
1:11:08🔗
Adam
Rob Kingwell and Jim Rippey are both here, both professional snowboarders, both here promoting the big event, which is going on in the forum, the Great Western Forum as they call it. Eminem, Cotton Mouth Kings, Mix Master Mike. September 9th, coming right on up, 6.30, the doors open, snowboarding and music, and lots of guys from Finland hanging out. His names you can't pronounce, but are good snowboarders.
1:11:36🔗
Guest
All the superstars are going to show up for this. This is the ACG Indoor, and it's kind of like a dream come true. I always wanted to have kind of monster truck rally slash snowboarding events in the United States. This is one of the first ones ever to happen.
1:11:49🔗
Adam
Yeah, and in the form, and growing up in Los Angeles, I mean, it's bizarre just hearing about a snowboarding event, although I guess I didn't even know what snowboarding was growing up here in Los Angeles. But I was just overhearing.
1:12:08🔗
Adam
That's true. This is overhearing Rob talk about the Olympics, and of course, snowboarding being an Olympic event. When did that start? Like two seasons ago?
1:12:27🔗
Guest
They haven't really set out the trials yet. They're still trying to figure out the exact method of going, but we're going to have a trial system, probably three to five contests. You gotta qualify in the States, and you also have to get quota spots through the FIS in order to have enough spots for the United States to go as a team.
1:12:45🔗
Adam
Would these be events that would take place anyway, and they see how you place in these events, or are these special events set up just for qualification?
1:12:55🔗
Guest
Well, initially, they started out as special events, and they have moved into a series. It's called the Grand Prix Tour. It's run by the USSA, and it's pretty much one of the premier snowboarding events, like tours, in the States. And so that's usually what I got to, is those Grand Prix events.
1:13:12🔗
Adam
So whoever comes out on top, and how many different events do they have in snowboarding in the Olympics?
1:13:19🔗
Guest
They've got two. They've got GS, which is kind of like ski racing, and you go around gates, and then there's Half Pipe, which is the freestyle event. We were trying to push for board across, but it didn't ever come through.
1:13:30🔗
Adam
So, if you are winning the, if you're the points leader at the end of the year at the Half Pipe, does that make you eligible for the Olympics?
1:13:41🔗
Guest
You have to go to these qualification events and do, like, you have to be the top three or four in, like, after that series of events.
1:13:53🔗
Adam
Well, I've never been on a snowboard. Well, that's the thing. See, my thing is, is I'm a busy man. I don't have time to futz around with the kids. I go right for the Olympics. I just figure, I'll just... I'm the kind of guy who reacts well to pressure. You know what I'm saying? I think I would come through if I was doing it for the country. And I just figure, let's just put the snowboard on for the first time and just go for it. You know what I mean? Like, in a competition. Really just go for it. Drew?
1:14:23🔗
Adam
Forget all that. What I'm doing is I'm saving it for the event. Is what I'm saying. You better hope I don't hurt my ass on one of those half pipes, by the way.
1:14:38🔗
Caller
I got this thing where I'm afraid of what you would call, I guess, commitment or whatever. Because, I don't know, I guess I just can't trust anyone.
1:15:00🔗
Drew
Why is trust such a big issue to you? Where has there been violation of your trust in the past?
1:15:41🔗
Adam
Very much involved. There's a long hallway to your room from there. What's he doing in California?
1:16:26🔗
Adam
All right, so there you go, Miss Smartass. Have a fun life, being a pain in everyone's ass, and denying all of your problems and not listening to anyone's advice, all right? I'll see you at the mall.
1:16:43🔗
Drew
Please. And the fact is that you may get over this as time goes on. You're going to have to if you're going to have real relationships. But at 15, all things being equal, it's okay to sort of hold back a little bit. You could have gone the other way.
1:17:04🔗
Adam
Listen all you, what do I call them? What do I call our listeners? Egotards? Yes. Egotards. It's egomaniac meets retard. Let me tell you what the answer to your emotional intimate problem is not going to be. It's not going to be because you're too smart or too good looking, or too thin or too rich. It's going to be something that's not real flattering, and something you got to deal with. It's only because somebody drank a little too much, somebody banned you, somebody beat you, or somebody raped you. All right? So if you're calling the show and you want to know why you're having a little trouble committing to a man, and you're telling me you live in Texas and your dad started a new life and he lives in California, that's your answer. Yeah, whatever. All right? You want to be a pain in the ass about it, fine. It's your life. I'm telling you what the answer is. If you don't want to hear it, don't call the show.
1:18:05🔗
Hi.
1:18:08🔗
Caller
I got a problem, okay? I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and you know we really love each other and recently we started taking our relationship a step higher and we've been having sex and everything. I've had to fake orgasms. We'll go four or five hours straight and I won't be able to hit an orgasm and I don't even know why.
1:18:44🔗
Adam
Oh my God. Hold on a second. This is the chick I start dating after these two break up. You know what I mean? The one who went for the marathon, tons of lube, banging the bejesus out of her for 12 hours straight. Guys, this is the one I get next. This is the one where we're on date number 18, and I put my hand on her lap and she's like, I've decided to slow down. I've been-
1:19:13🔗
Adam
I've been getting court hold for so long. I've been getting worked in every which way but lose, and I just- I've just decided I'm just going to start slowing it down. I mean, I'm still- I'm spitting up lube from last year. I'm just- like, this is the one I get. I get the- after this relationship, this is where I step in, after the four hours tub of lube. Michelle?
1:19:41🔗
Adam
I was a prostitute, but I've turned my life over to Jesus Christ. Now, I'm going to have the Surf and Turf.
1:19:49🔗
Caller
The four and a half hours actually isn't as long as I've ever been, and even the longer times I'd have to fake because I wouldn't be able to hit.
1:19:58🔗
Adam
Here's a tip for all the ladies though. Fake hour two, hour three. Don't wait to get to four and a half before you fake.
1:20:11🔗
Caller
During spring break, I went with one of them, yeah, with my boyfriend, like two and a half days. We just stayed in bed all the- Yeah, all that time. I think we took like a total of four breaks during that time.
1:20:31🔗
Adam
About an hour or two. Would you have a bedpan to make in or did you just go to the bathroom?
1:20:36🔗
Caller
No. When either one of us had to go, it would be like, okay, three minutes, you know, and we would sit there and go to the bathroom or whatever. Even, but we, in fact, those hours weren't even breaks because we'd be in the shower.
1:20:50🔗
Adam
Get It On. All right. So let me just make, let me just see if I can work the math here. Out of a, in a 62 hour period, you took about two and a half hours off from having sex?
1:21:06🔗
Adam
All right. Hold on, hold on a second. Here's why you can't believe chicks. Here's why I never believe what they say. They just, here's why you can't believe women. They don't know they're lying. She doesn't know that she's lying right now. She's obviously lying and has no idea. She's like, OJ, she believes her own ramp. Remember, remember, who was our guest last night? Oh, Beth Broderick. Remember I got in an argument with her, Drew, about her ceiling?
1:21:33🔗
Adam
She told me, she said, she said, my bedroom has a 35 foot ceiling. I said, no, it doesn't. She said, oh, yes, it does. I said, no, it doesn't. She said, you've never been to my house. I don't have to. She said, who are you talking to? My bedroom has a 30. I said, you know how tall a 35 foot ceiling is? How tall? I said, it's a three and a half story building. So stand outside a three or four story building and look up at the top of the building. That's how high your bedroom ceiling is? Well, it's at least 20 feet. Oh, yes. But the point is she had no idea she was lying. She'd been telling everyone that.
1:22:11🔗
Adam
Yeah, she was nice, right? But Michelle over here, Michelle expects us to believe that in 62 hours, she took three hours off and never slept. Would you say Drew is a doctor? It's a physical impossibility?
1:22:27🔗
Drew
Yeah, they would have dehydrated. They need to take some fluids. They would have had an IV attached in order to pull that off.
1:22:35🔗
Caller
Okay, you can call me a liar. You're lucky my boyfriend is in here because he would be yelling at you guys like, oh my goodness, he would be totally exploding just for calling me a liar.
1:23:17🔗
Adam
I see, and what did you fake, 145 times in that two days? All right. Why did you fake? You didn't have to.
1:23:26🔗
Caller
I couldn't hit. I don't know. Either it's because of what happened to me in the past, or just is it good or something?
1:23:33🔗
Adam
Now we're getting to it. And first off, God bless you for having sex for 60 hours and not having an orgasm and going and going and going and never having one. But what happened to you in the past?
1:23:46🔗
Caller
In January of two years ago, I was raped by four different guys. They drugged me and raped me.
1:24:03🔗
Adam
There's always something before. And what happened? Well, first off, thank God your uncle's dead. That's good news. And how long did he molest you?
1:24:34🔗
Caller
Yeah, I was like, I was crying not because he died, but because he died, you know, he wasn't there anymore.
1:24:43🔗
Caller
No, actually, the lady he was married to, she's not really my aunt, but she's been in our family so long that she's adopted.
1:24:52🔗
Adam
All right, so this is why you're having sex for 60 hours and why you're not having an orgasm.
1:25:04🔗
Adam
This is everything. My God, you've been to hell and back. Thank God this bastard's dead. It's too bad he had a heart attack. I wish it was something a little slower, you know, like a nice cancer or something like that.
1:25:22🔗
Caller
It was like in the night, though. In fact, he had the heart attack right when he got done doing what he was doing to me.
1:25:33🔗
Caller
He was in my room. I was sleeping and he would wake me up at night, do what he wanted to do, and then walk out of my room. That night he didn't walk out, he died.
1:25:46🔗
Adam
Well, now, we've all, I don't know if everybody, we've all had this happen, and one time or another, and we hear it every night, but it's never easy. Oh, my God.
1:26:05🔗
Adam
Drew, go on, Drew, now you're pushing. You're trying to stretch a triple into an in the park home run here. He was, if he was on top of you, Drew, I'm going through the roof.
1:26:26🔗
Drew
You know what? That's what I was getting from her, is that she was hiding the fact that he had the heart attack while he was having sex with her.
1:26:38🔗
Drew
But I got to show, these are major, major, profound human traumas. This is about as much as a human being can tolerate and survive. So you really got to do something about this.
1:26:51🔗
Caller
I actually thought I wasn't going to make it through this. I was 14 and drinking more alcohol, my family combined.
1:27:17🔗
Caller
He did a thing. Well, he was on top of me. He had a heart attack. And then he rolled over and kind of dragged me with him because he was inside me. And I'm sitting there trying to score him to get off. And I was crying at the same time and screaming and everything else.
1:27:39🔗
Caller
My parents, at that time, both of them were truck drivers. And they were both out. And my aunt, she's kind of hard of hearing. So it took about 20 minutes before somebody finally heard me screaming.
1:27:55🔗
Drew
Michelle, this 60 hours of sex stuff is a reaction to all this. That is not sex. That's some sort of arousal discharge. Just try to distance yourself from any kind of experience. That's just to stimulate yourself into some sort of relief of all this pain you must carry around with you.
1:28:10🔗
Caller
Well, like I said before, I was drinking more alcohol than everything in my family combined. And just recently, I'm recovered alcoholic.
1:28:19🔗
Drew
Yeah, but talk to your doctor. Talk to your sponsor. Talk to your sponsor about sexual compulsion, too, because you're getting into that big time.
1:28:28🔗
Adam
I'll tell you. I don't know what percentage of society would say if I had their died while their uncle and their uncle died while they were in them for 40, 50. They can't be higher than 50 percent. Oh my God. 50 percent. No, I'm saying, I'm not an idiot. It's lower than 50 percent, probably.
1:29:00🔗
Drew
Seven years of sexual abuse and then dying inside with the aunt nearby. Yeah, I think 35 percent.
1:29:07🔗
Adam
All right. Now listen, here's my point. Let's just say there is a hell. I got to hang out with this cat because I used the Lord's name in vain a handful of times and whacked off once or twice. Do you know what I'm saying? There got to be tiers of hell. You know what I mean? Echelons, floors.
1:29:33🔗
Adam
I look at hell like subterranean parking. There's up top, there's almost street level. Once in a while, you just keep whining and whining and whining and whining. You do that over at K-Rock once in a while, right? You get all the way down. That's where I figure this guy is. Me, I'm right near the elevator at the top of hell.
1:29:54🔗
Adam
The bad news is you're going to hell. The good news is you're right at the top. You're like the cream of hell.
1:30:09🔗
Adam
It's funny. I called her a liar, but I believed every second of that uncle dying in me story. We'll take a break.
1:30:17🔗
Hello. This is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.
1:30:47🔗
Adam
It's the Loveline. Rob and Jim are both here, both professional snowboarders, both going to be out at the Great Western Forum with the Cottonmouth Kings and Eminem and Mixmaster Mike. Riding the quarter pipe, getting 20 feet of air, doing all that stuff. Give me some move names. You know what I mean? Like a Brody. Is that a move? No.
1:31:10🔗
Guest
A lot of the names are the same ones from skateboarding, like McTwist and stuff like that, but then there's kind of-
1:31:16🔗
Guest
Yeah, then there's like corked stuff, which means it's kind of sideways, like 720s, like flip 720s, flip 900s, things like that that are a little different than skateboarding.
1:31:26🔗
Adam
Every good extreme sport has a Can-Can in it. Is there a Can-Can yet in the snowboarding realm? We can work that in.
1:31:33🔗
Guest
We can do one foot air. It's kind of like Can-Can, but it wouldn't be called a Can-Can.
1:31:37🔗
Adam
Wouldn't be called a Can-Can? And how about a Brody? No Brodies? Can't work the Brody in?
1:32:05🔗
Caller
I'm worried about my friend. She's so perverted. She's like going to get raped and I'm so afraid for her.
1:32:26🔗
Caller
I don't know. It's her. It's like I tell her, Anna, calm down. You're going to get raped. She was almost kidnapped last week.
1:32:55🔗
Adam
Right. All right. Here we go again, everybody. Kimberly, you be the best friend you can be and you tell her everything you know. But after that, she's on her own.
1:33:17🔗
Caller
Well, it's up to her. That's her decision. But she's like, well, I smoke a lot of weed, so it doesn't.
1:33:27🔗
Adam
All right. Now I'm moving. Now I'm moving. First, I'm going to Colorado and then I'm going to Canada. All right, Drew, one more quickie here before we break. Why are you going to Colorado? It just seems better. It's going to be my transition place before I go to Canada.
1:33:45🔗
Yeah.
1:33:52🔗
Adam
Lasers and wax and all that kind of stuff. Listen, don't worry about it. You're a man, all right?
1:34:09🔗
Adam
Listen, who cares? I was yelling about this last night. Men have hair on them. Listen, you chicks who've been hanging around with the fags too long, guys are supposed to have hair on them.
1:34:20🔗
Drew
Hey, Adam, if we're going to be a couple, you're going to have to do something about it.
1:34:25🔗
Adam
That's just so you can find my hole. My balls look like the chin of an old Chinaman. I'm going to shave an arrow into each cheek heading in, heading into the crack, all right? All right, we'll take a break.
1:34:38🔗
Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.
1:35:17🔗
Adam
Well, that is it, everybody. Another fabulous loveline in the can. Drew? Hey. Hey. All right. What time is it over there? Two hour different? Two.
1:35:34🔗
Adam
If you watch that Spectrevision, you think of me. Think about me complaining about the $12 charge and they cut the penises out. All right. I want to thank Rob and Jim for coming in here and doing a great job tonight. Again, September 9th, everybody. You can see not only Rob and Jim, but Eminem and a whole bunch of guys from Helsinki, and Cotton Mouth Kings, and Mix Master Mike, all at the Great Western Forum for Big Snowboarding, Extravaganza, and Rock Concert. It's going to be huge. September 9th, Saturday coming up. Thanks, guys. You say thanks now. Thank you. There you go. Tony Hawk tomorrow night, and until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Drew, you're getting a rim job and a felching when you get back.
1:36:19🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.