Sunday, July 23, 2000

1:02🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10🔗 Voiceover Loveline Coast to Coast.

1:14🔗 Adam Date?

1:15🔗 Date.

1:17🔗 Voiceover Hey, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Facts number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.

1:32🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:33🔗 Drew Trying to shut my computer up.

1:35🔗 Adam Monkeying around with his computer.

1:37🔗 Drew God damn it.

1:38🔗 Adam All right. Drew with the GD word all of a sudden. No guest tonight. The guest is the love that is found between our two hosts. Now, I want to say a few things before we get going on the show tonight.

1:52🔗 Drew Want to say thanks to the Family Guy?

1:54🔗 Adam I want to say thanks to Seth McFarlane, who is the voice of the Family Guy and the creator of the Family Guy for sending us a lovely basket. People have heard me talk about this show a time or two. I love this show. It's on Fox.

2:11🔗 Drew My kids love this show.

2:12🔗 Adam Tuesday nights, maybe 8.30, and they move it around a little bit, or 9 o'clock now. But I really think it's one of the funniest shows on television.

2:22🔗 Drew Unacceptable. Maybe it's because we were talking about this at the basket. Weren't we talking about it the other night?

2:26🔗 Adam I was talking about it. I don't know where the we part comes in.

2:28🔗 Drew I brought up how my kids liked the body humor.

2:30🔗 Adam You didn't bring up any of that. I brought up the Family Guy, and I recommend this show very highly.

2:36🔗 And then I think to myself, my god, wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?

2:44🔗 Adam I love the Family Guy. I also love The Man Show, which is on right now. Whatever. On the Fabulous Comedy Central. So there's the Family Guy and the Man Show, two best shows on television. Although not according to Governor Jesse Ventura, who just thinks The Man Show is the best show on television.

3:04🔗 Best show on television, The Man Show.

3:07🔗 Drew I like the protest in the background. No, no way.

3:10🔗 Adam Yeah, the two guys, the two naysayers in the background. Also, I wanted to mention that I just had a marvelous slab of Apple Pie à la Mode, probably about 22 minutes ago before I came in here.

3:26🔗 Drew From whence?

3:27🔗 Adam Made by the amazing musician and recording artist, Sheryl Crow. Thank you for stealing my Sheryl Crow thunder there. Who's not only just a spectacular musician, singer and songwriter, but one hell of a baker. This crust was flaky. I mean, it was really, and you know how I love pie, and it's hard for me to get to the next level with pie because I-

3:56🔗 Drew Oh, so this is not just your innate love of pie. This is-

4:00🔗 Adam To get to the next level.

4:01🔗 Drew Pie squared.

4:02🔗 Adam That's right. Pie pie. Wait a minute. Does that make any sense? Anyway, I wanted to thank her for baking love in each and every pie. All right. So, Drew, you all right? Yeah. Did you pedal some of that food?

4:17🔗 Drew Had our ninth wedding anniversary on Friday.

4:19🔗 Adam You did?

4:19🔗 Drew Yeah.

4:20🔗 Adam Fantabulous.

4:21🔗 Drew Yeah, very fantabulous.

4:23🔗 Adam What did you do?

4:26🔗 Drew We went to lunch in Beverly Hills, and we went to the Getty Museum, and then we went out to dinner. Two meals in one day, that's a big deal for us.

4:32🔗 Adam Wow. And nine years, still going strong, huh?

4:36🔗 Drew Going strong.

4:39🔗 Adam Don't think about the other ladies at all?

4:41🔗 Drew No.

4:41🔗 Adam Really?

4:42🔗 Drew Really, I don't.

4:43🔗 Adam So you've died?

4:46🔗 Drew Well, I leave my penis at home.

4:47🔗 Adam That's right.

4:48🔗 Drew No, I really am a very happily married guy.

4:51🔗 Adam I celebrated your ninth wedding anniversary by going into a strip club in Vegas on Saturday night, Friday night. That's right. And opening the door Saturday to leave and seeing that it was daylight outside.

5:10🔗 Drew You stayed overnight in a strip club?

5:11🔗 Adam Well, technically.

5:14🔗 Drew Were you awake the whole time?

5:15🔗 Adam Yes.

5:16🔗 Drew Did you know you were staying overnight?

5:18🔗 Adam No, the time had flown by. No, I didn't set up a cot in the back room.

5:23🔗 Drew And what will pray tell?

5:24🔗 Adam I was just sitting there about 1.30 to 2 o'clock, having a few Jägermeister shots. And before you know it, I was walking out the front door with birds at Chirpin and the sun in full bloom.

5:37🔗 How much money did you spend on that amount of time?

5:39🔗 Oh, good question.

5:42🔗 Adam Luckily, my partner, not Jimmy, but my other partner.

5:47🔗 Drew Oh, that's sick.

5:47🔗 Adam You know what happened. Had done pretty well at the Blackjack table before we went in there. So he was doing most of the spending. But I probably dropped, including the money I owe him. It was about $700, $800. Oh, my God.

6:03🔗 How many lap dances?

6:07🔗 Adam They all just turn into one big long lap dance.

6:11🔗 Drew With Daniel kept slapping down more money?

6:12🔗 Adam I did not say.

6:14🔗 Drew Suck it up like a vacuum cleaner.

6:15🔗 Adam I did not say Daniel. I did not say his name.

6:19🔗 Drew I did.

6:20🔗 Adam You did. I did not say it. I'm just saying a mystery man, a very generous mystery man.

6:26🔗 Drew As your partner, but not Jimmy.

6:28🔗 Adam Well, could have been you.

6:29🔗 Drew Could have been me, but I was having my wedding anniversary.

6:32🔗 Adam That's right. You poor son of a bitch. Yeah. So good times and now I'm back. The good news is, is I went to bed about eight and then got up to go to Jimmy's grandfather's funeral about nine thirty. I wanted to jump into the grave with the casket. I really did. I was in horrible shape, but I'm feeling good now. I got a good charge on my batteries last night and I'm ready to rock and roll. Really, really going to put out for the kids tonight, Drew.

7:08🔗 Drew We actually had a waitress who sort of was familiar with the show and went, glad to see you know what you're talking about. You guys seem so happy. Nine years of marriage in Los Angeles.

7:15🔗 Adam Really?

7:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

7:16🔗 Adam Yeah, I had a waitress tonight hand me a note that I just handed to you.

7:20🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

7:20🔗 Adam She said, I don't know if she's a patient of yours or something, but she said, I don't know her name or anything. I'm not going to give anything away. But she said, tell Drew, talk to me.

7:32🔗 Drew All right, fair enough.

7:33🔗 Adam I said, I'm liable to forget that. Why don't you give me a note? And she went, all right. I said, hey, I'm just trying to, I just don't want to mess it up. I'll pass it along. Just give me a note. I'll put it in my pocket. I'll hand it to him. And she was like, whatever. And I thought, hey, honey.

7:51🔗 Whatever.

7:52🔗 Adam Just trying to do my job here. DeAndre?

7:56🔗 Adam.

7:57🔗 Adam DeAndre.

7:58🔗 Hey, how's it going, man?

7:59🔗 Adam Hey, you're 18. What's going on?

8:00🔗 Caller Actually, I like to get on the air, but I'll tell you why. It's actually quite a funny story. Apparently, you live right across the street from my aunt and uncle.

8:08🔗 Adam On where do they live? They live up in the hills?

8:12🔗 Caller I don't know if I should say the name of the street or not.

8:13🔗 Adam Well, maybe you shouldn't say the name of the street, but describe your aunt and your uncle, and then I'll...

8:18🔗 Caller You know them. They invited you over a couple of times. Barbara and Howard?

8:22🔗 Adam Ah, yes. Do they have a Star Trek room in their house?

8:24🔗 Yeah, it's the Star Trek room.

8:26🔗 Adam Know them well.

8:27🔗 Caller I call it the Delta Quadrant.

8:29🔗 Adam It was great. Yeah, a couple of times a year, they tilt a few, invite me in, I come by, I say hi to them.

8:37🔗 Drew Which house? Tell me. From your parapet.

8:39🔗 Adam Across the street from my house.

8:41🔗 Drew Are they older folks?

8:42🔗 Adam I say, they're getting older.

8:45🔗 Drew Screamed at all the...

8:46🔗 Adam No, no, that's somebody else. But I go in there, have a cocktail, say hello to their 35 cats.

8:53🔗 Caller More like one million cats.

8:55🔗 Adam One million, 35 cats, and then head on down to the Star Trek room, where Barbara handed me a lute that was played by Leonard Nimoy in one episode.

9:06🔗 Caller Oh, she does all kinds of weird stuff, doesn't she?

9:09🔗 Adam Very valuable, apparently. And when Christmas rolls around, look out, because they pull out all the stops over there. They put a, they have a big egg they put out on, did you see that thing?

9:22🔗 Caller The big red egg that he put out there.

9:23🔗 Drew On top of the roof? No.

9:25🔗 Adam I'll tell you, every time Jimmy saw that egg, he'd look at it and he'd go, that thing wouldn't have lasted 10 minutes in my neighborhood, I would have had an M-80 and that baby so fast and make it head spin.

9:35🔗 Drew That's what it means to try to urinate on it from your parapet.

9:37🔗 Adam I even see him starting to go over there to vandalize, I'm like, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, buddy, you're 33, you have a TV show, you can't do that stuff anymore. Oh, man. His vandalism instincts are so strong. But those are your, that's your aunt and uncle?

9:51🔗 Caller Yeah, well, they're not like my real aunt and uncle, but she's a, Barbara's been best friends with my grandmother since like 85 and stuff. So, I mean, I'm like so close to them now that they're just basically my aunt and uncle. But a funny story, the pink house next door.

10:05🔗 Adam Yeah.

10:08🔗 Caller Barbara doesn't, you know, she doesn't really know that I know you very much, but my uncle was telling me that the lady next door moved out because, like, you walk around the house jacking off or something like that with the windows open or whatever.

10:20🔗 Drew No way.

10:21🔗 Caller We were just going to be discussing. I was like, yeah, I believe it.

10:23🔗 Adam Yep, that's me.

10:24🔗 Drew Oh my God.

10:26🔗 Caller I couldn't believe it, though, because he was saying, you know the Man Show? I'm like, oh, yeah, I love that show. He's like, I'm like, yeah, that's with Adam, right? And he goes, yeah, he lives right across the street. And I, like, drop to the ground and, like, suffocate and stuff, like, you're kidding, right? He goes, yeah, look right outside the window there. And I'm like, whoa. So, yeah, and had, like, had to help hold me back from going up there.

10:46🔗 Adam Was I masturbating?

10:49🔗 Drew That's what you built that new balcony for, isn't it?

10:51🔗 Adam Yeah. Keep away the roof. Oh, so I could masturbate over the neighborhood. Yes. I yell, like, king of all I survey. Then I go back in, get in the fetal position and cry.

11:00🔗 Drew Did somebody actually move from next door?

11:02🔗 Adam Yeah, actually, it's Drew.

11:03🔗 Drew But that's because that's the guy that was out there yelling at you.

11:05🔗 Adam No, no, that was the other neighbor. All right, listen, Drew, I'll fill you in during the commercial. D'Andre, do you have a question for us tonight?

11:13🔗 Caller Well, I was wondering, you know what I mean, once you invite me over sometimes, we can discuss the future of Lava Lamps and C***s and maybe watch them, you know, watch them the DCs together or something.

11:20🔗 Adam All right, well, the next time you head over to Barbara and Howard's place, stop by.

11:25🔗 Caller All right, man.

11:26🔗 Drew That's it?

11:27🔗 Adam Huh?

11:27🔗 Drew That's it?

11:28🔗 Caller Well, yeah.

11:29🔗 Drew All right, D'Andre, thanks for calling.

11:30🔗 Adam All right, well, you know-

11:32🔗 Drew As a satisfied neighbor.

11:33🔗 Adam It's turning 40 or 50 percent of our calls nowadays are not the question that's up on the board. It's just someone who wants to do a chit chat. I wonder if we should limit that to maybe five minutes, the actual call. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think we're sending the wrong message when we chit chat with those people. Martha?

11:52🔗 Yeah.

11:52🔗 Adam Although D'Andre is practically family. I mean, after all, my neighbor and his grandmother are good friends.

12:01🔗 Oh, okay.

12:01🔗 Adam All right, Martha. You're 22. What's up?

12:05🔗 Caller Well, I had a question. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a year already. And lately we had, we started having oral sex. And I noticed that on his penis around the top, he has like little, I don't know what are they, but I'm saying they're blisters.

12:23🔗 Drew Are they like little, but are they symmetrically all the way around?

12:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:29🔗 Drew Like a daisy?

12:31🔗 Caller Sorry?

12:32🔗 Drew Like a daisy?

12:34🔗 Caller Yeah, like all around.

12:35🔗 Drew Right.

12:35🔗 Adam They make a complete circle around the head of his penis?

12:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

12:38🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

12:39🔗 Adam What is that, Drew?

12:40🔗 Drew Penile papules can do that sometimes.

12:42🔗 Adam On the head of the penis?

12:43🔗 Drew Yeah, right around the corona there.

12:45🔗 Adam The corona?

12:45🔗 Drew Yes.

12:46🔗 Adam Is that where the head is spot welded to the shaft? Yeah, right. Wow. All right. Well, there you go. I thought at first she was talking about the herpes or something.

12:57🔗 Caller That's what I thought it was.

12:58🔗 Drew No, they're not blisters. They're tiny, right?

13:00🔗 Caller Yeah, they're real small.

13:01🔗 Drew Yeah. They're symmetrical. They go all the way around in even distribution, right?

13:05🔗 Caller Right.

13:06🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

13:06🔗 Adam They're like somebody took a pen and was stippling, but not like a blister like what you'd have on the heel of your foot if you're wearing hiking boots or something, right?

13:15🔗 Caller No.

13:16🔗 Adam Okay.

13:17🔗 Caller Well, they're just little ones.

13:18🔗 Adam Yeah.

13:18🔗 Caller All right. They're not herpes, right?

13:20🔗 Drew Nope.

13:20🔗 Adam Nope.

13:21🔗 Caller Okay.

13:21🔗 Adam All right.

13:22🔗 Caller Okay. Thank you.

13:23🔗 Adam All right.

13:23🔗 Bye-bye.

13:24🔗 Adam Happy BJ and Amber.

13:26🔗 Yes.

13:26🔗 Adam You're 17.

13:28🔗 Caller Yes.

13:28🔗 Adam What's up?

13:29🔗 I have a big problem. All right.

13:31🔗 I have, okay, three different people in three different like, I guess you could say communities, and I'm very confused. One of them that lives really close to me, it's like a very big, intense sexual relationship. One lives pretty much farther than me. It's like a marriage material. My mom totally adores him. It's not even funny. And my dad adores the sexual guy. And he likes him because he's a man. He can get a job. And there's a guy that lives far away from both of those. And he's the guy that's fun. I like to go and do things with. I'm confused. I don't know which to choose.

14:08🔗 Adam There's a fourth guy who plays the spoons, who she's attracted to as well. Is it true, Amber?

14:16🔗 The one at my job.

14:18🔗 Adam The one at your job plays the spoons?

14:20🔗 Yes.

14:20🔗 Adam Does he really play the spoons?

14:22🔗 Pretty much.

14:24🔗 Adam Wow.

14:25🔗 Drew I didn't know somebody could...

14:25🔗 Adam Are you attracted to the fourth one who plays the spoons?

14:28🔗 Oh, God, no.

14:29🔗 Adam I see. But at least he plays the spoons, right?

14:31🔗 Drew He's on the running.

14:32🔗 Yes.

14:32🔗 Adam I hope you work at a restaurant. He doesn't bring his own spoons, does he?

14:35🔗 He works at a restaurant, I guess. Well, I work on the... I work around him.

14:41🔗 Adam You work around him in an orbiting fashion? Or are you... How does that work?

14:45🔗 Drew Nearby? Or you actually...

14:47🔗 I'm the cashier and he's the busboy.

14:50🔗 Adam I see. So when you say, he works at a restaurant, you mean we work at a restaurant.

14:57🔗 Yeah, I guess.

14:58🔗 Adam I'm not sure. I've been in a restaurant a while, but the person who works the cashier would consider themselves employees of the restaurant, wouldn't they?

15:04🔗 Yeah, I guess.

15:05🔗 Adam The cash register's... You don't work out of your home on the cash register?

15:09🔗 No.

15:09🔗 Adam No, I see. All right. Hold on a second. We have the world's dumbest callers on this show.

15:13🔗 Drew They've returned.

15:15🔗 Adam Return? Where did they go?

15:16🔗 Drew Yeah. It started up again. Thursday was particularly intense that way, right?

15:20🔗 Adam All right. So why doesn't anyone play The Spoons anymore, by the way? It was certainly a more wholesome time when people played The Spoons.

15:27🔗 Drew We have video games now.

15:28🔗 Adam Okay. So Amber, what's wrong with you?

15:32🔗 I don't know.

15:32🔗 I'm so confused because I'm tied between what my parents want and what I want. And to tell you the truth, I like all three of them.

15:37🔗 Drew What do you want then?

15:39🔗 I don't know.

15:39🔗 I want all three of them in one.

15:41🔗 Drew Wait a minute. Why is that then a conflict between what your parents want and what you want?

15:45🔗 I don't know because my parents are like, so I want this for you and blah, blah, blah.

15:49🔗 Drew What do you want?

15:50🔗 Adam Oh, who cares? Are you having sex with all three of these guys?

15:53🔗 No, just the one that lives near me.

15:56🔗 Drew Be careful with attraction because if you listen to this show, you'll find out that intense attractions are often built on unhealthy.

16:04🔗 The one that I had sex with, I've known him since I was probably about, God, like six. And he was my first and he's the only one I've ever been with.

16:13🔗 Drew Well, that sort of creates a special attachment by itself.

16:15🔗 So, I mean, that's where that comes from.

16:18🔗 Adam So, you knew him, you met him when you were six?

16:21🔗 I mean, yeah, pretty.

16:21🔗 Adam And he was, what, 28 at the time? Or how old was he?

16:25🔗 No, he was my age.

16:28🔗 Adam I see.

16:28🔗 Caller We've grown up together.

16:30🔗 It's just that he's like a demanding person and I don't want to be with a demanding person.

16:34🔗 Adam All right, well, good.

16:35🔗 Drew Then get rid of him.

16:36🔗 Adam Get rid of him. Really?

16:38🔗 Drew Why don't you be with nobody, Amber? Let's just chalk all this up to experience. Until you have some more clarity about what you do want, be Amber. Don't be Amber with somebody. Just, it's okay that you've been dating these guys. Okay, you're sleeping with them, but it sounds to me like you're not ready for a committed relationship and you really don't know what you want. The good news is you're not so caught up in attraction that you're gonna take the guy that you're having sex with just because. You have some instinct of telling you that there's other aspects of a relationship that you need. You want to really listen to those instincts.

17:08🔗 Adam Yeah, I was thinking of another one of my bizarre analogies, but there's a lot of people out there who look at themselves as this like a resin and they need a catalyst to be activated.

17:19🔗 Drew Yeah.

17:20🔗 Adam It's like epoxy glue. There's two parts and they just feel like without the other part, they're not even activated. They're nothing. They're just this sort of gooey compound that's not really good for anything until something else is introduced.

17:35🔗 Drew And so much of that is just being incomplete as they sort of transfer an incomplete sense of themselves from their parental unit to some peer, you know.

17:42🔗 Adam Drew, it only took you 16 minutes to punch the mic. Yes. Darren?

17:47🔗 Caller Dr. Drew, Adam. You guys are awesome.

17:50🔗 Adam Thanks, Darren. You're 20. You smoke-

17:52🔗 Drew This must be a pod question.

17:53🔗 Adam You smoke a lot of weed.

17:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:55🔗 Drew How do we know that?

17:56🔗 Caller Really?

17:57🔗 Drew We can hear it already.

17:58🔗 Adam It's not noticeable.

17:59🔗 Drew No. Couldn't tell.

18:00🔗 Caller I was wondering if you could figure that out on me.

18:02🔗 Adam Yeah.

18:02🔗 Drew Well, it took, what, three words or four?

18:04🔗 Adam Well, after he put...

18:06🔗 Drew It's my name. He just said my name. That was all I knew.

18:08🔗 Adam Well, because you know how he spells your name. You know how he spells Drew, D-R-Triple-O.

18:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:13🔗 Adam Hey, Dr. Drew.

18:15🔗 Caller Tell me what that is that you noticed in my voice.

18:17🔗 Adam I felt the draw on Drew.

18:21🔗 Drew It's a quality to vocal production that's unmistakable. It's slowed. The vowels are drawn out. It's a little diphthong to every vowel.

18:33🔗 Caller That's interesting. I've really listened to what you guys have said about pot and about everything for the last five years or so. And I feel like I'm pretty in tune to what you guys talk about. I've smoked pot for the last five years and I have really no history of addiction in my family except for maybe my great grandfather, I think on maybe both sides. And I've had a lot of consequences because of it. And that's how I really know that I have a problem.

18:57🔗 Adam But this is all with pot, right?

18:59🔗 Caller Yeah, strictly with pot. And I mean, I've done a few other things.

19:03🔗 Drew I'll tell you where I've seen marijuana addiction without family history of alcoholism is ethnic Jews.

19:09🔗 Caller Okay, I've heard you say that before.

19:10🔗 Drew Is that you?

19:11🔗 Adam No.

19:11🔗 Caller Definitely not.

19:12🔗 Adam He's not a Jew.

19:13🔗 Drew And then the great grandparents?

19:14🔗 Adam His mom would have killed him a long time ago.

19:15🔗 Drew And the great grandparents who are alcoholics?

19:19🔗 Caller Possibly. And it's not even really known. If there's any, it'd be in the great grandparents.

19:22🔗 Drew What's their ethnicity?

19:24🔗 Caller They'd be the same as me.

19:25🔗 Drew Which is?

19:26🔗 Caller White.

19:27🔗 Drew Where are their ancestors from?

19:30🔗 Caller You know, I don't know. And I really don't feel like I'm addicted. I started smoking pot in high school for peer pressure. And I didn't have that initial feeling when I first started.

19:38🔗 Adam You wouldn't know what your nationality was?

19:41🔗 Caller Well, yeah. I'm white all the way back.

19:43🔗 Drew What does that mean?

19:45🔗 Adam You think you're German?

19:47🔗 Caller Irish, a little bit German.

19:49🔗 Drew Alright. Who is the Irish in your family?

19:51🔗 Caller The grandpa on my real dad's side.

19:53🔗 Drew On your real dad. Okay. That's where you need to look. For the gene.

19:57🔗 Caller And I know he does. He's kind of a stubborn drinker. And he's never really had any momentum with it as far as I know.

20:03🔗 Drew Who?

20:04🔗 Caller My grandfather on my dad's side.

20:06🔗 Drew How about your dad?

20:08🔗 Caller Definitely not. Definitely not.

20:09🔗 Adam Alright. Well, listen, who cares? What are we going to do about Darren?

20:13🔗 Caller I don't know what my problem is. Mainly, it's just kind of been a self-esteem thing for a long time because it kind of caused that sort of depression. And I can't really get over it. And I'm thinking about going to do a 30-day treatment center.

20:28🔗 Drew Let me understand. You never...

20:31🔗 Adam Don't doodle. That's why your mic got shut off.

20:33🔗 Drew I know. I know that. You don't like how pot makes you feel.

20:39🔗 Caller Not anymore. Definitely not.

20:40🔗 Drew But when you first started using it, it wasn't effective.

20:43🔗 Caller No. I just kind of did it and I did it so much that it became something that I just do it on my friends and it came...

20:49🔗 Drew So even though you did so much of it, it didn't make you feel good?

20:53🔗 Caller Yeah. It definitely got me high. It made me feel good.

20:55🔗 Drew Okay. And you didn't like it a lot?

20:58🔗 Adam No. Who cares?

21:00🔗 Caller I started smoking more and more and more just because I can't come to terms with the fact that I'm smoking. Kind of. I don't know what my problem is.

21:10🔗 Drew Well, then you need to see a psychiatrist to see what's going on here. I mean, there is such a thing as people that use drugs to modulate things like even schizophrenia and can incidentally become addicted or dependent, have difficulty stopping, but they aren't a classic model of addiction. They would be benefited from addiction treatment, but that's less than 5% of all addictions.

21:30🔗 Adam All right. Let's just say hi to Becky before we go to break. Becky's 18. When she was 16, she had sex with a 32-year-old, perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

21:40🔗 Drew Who didn't?

21:41🔗 Adam And now, even though she said no. So you thought maybe you were raped, huh, Becky?

21:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

21:49🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, 16 and 32, I put my money on rape.

21:53🔗 Drew If you said a resounding yes, it's rape.

21:55🔗 Caller Well, statutory rape for sure, but the situation that went down, I was wondering if it was more than just statutory rape because of the age.

22:03🔗 Adam Who was wondering?

22:05🔗 Caller I was wondering.

22:06🔗 Adam I thought you said your dad and I or something like that.

22:09🔗 Caller No.

22:10🔗 Adam Just you. Okay. Hold on a second. We got to take a break, okay?

22:14🔗 Caller Okay.

22:14🔗 Adam We'll come back and tell you whether you were raped. You should keep your fingers crossed that you weren't raped though, right?

22:20🔗 Caller I'm pretty sure I was, but I've asked different people and they have different perspectives. All right.

22:24🔗 Adam Well, we will-

22:24🔗 Drew The Attorney General of the State.

22:26🔗 Adam We will tell you definitively whether you were raped or not.

22:28🔗 Drew Or us stone friends.

22:29🔗 Caller Okay.

22:30🔗 Adam All right. After this.

22:32🔗 You know what I'm saying out there?

22:34🔗 Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

23:11🔗 Adam Yep, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LEVE-191 and Sunday night. Of course, that means man show on the fabulous Comedy Central. Just drawing to a conclusion. Thank you. All right, when we left off, we were speaking to Becky. Becky's 16, had sex with a third, pardon me. She is 18 and had sex with a 32-year-old when she was 16. She wants to know if it was rape. Becky. Yes. Well, here's the thing. There's all different kinds of rape.

23:47🔗 Drew We don't know.

23:48🔗 Adam Well, there is all different kinds of rape.

23:51🔗 Drew For our sensibilities, but rape is a legal issue. In different states, as I'm sure to find differently.

23:57🔗 Adam Well, but she's not interested in knowing whether she was raped in the eyes of the law.

24:02🔗 Drew Have you talked to an attorney?

24:04🔗 Caller No.

24:05🔗 Drew Wouldn't that be an appropriate place to ask that question?

24:07🔗 Caller Well, I'm, well, statutory rape, I know, and...

24:11🔗 Drew No, Becky, you don't know.

24:12🔗 Adam Well, no, she knows about the age difference. She just wants to know if she was raped. I know we may be talking about the same thing here, but how did it go down? Did you date the guy? Did you just meet him that night?

24:24🔗 Caller It was someone that I had met while I was into gross skating, and at the time, I thought he was in his early twenties. I didn't find out until later how old he actually was. And I went back to, I thought it was his place. I found out it was his girlfriend's place.

24:44🔗 Drew Nice.

24:45🔗 Caller And he said he wanted to show me something in the bathroom, and I went in there reluctantly, but I went in there, and he more or less locked me in, and he said if you don't want me to do this, then say something. And I said, well, don't. And I pretty much think that it was rape, but I've asked other people from their perspective, some other people say that it wasn't because I continued to have sex with him for a year after that that happened.

25:16🔗 Adam Well, it was only a year. I mean, you probably only had sex with him a couple hundred times, right?

25:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, that's...

25:25🔗 Drew So you're mad at him now? Is that the problem?

25:27🔗 Adam What are you mad about now?

25:29🔗 Caller Well, because of what happened, I was like a very bitter, angry person for a long time. And...

25:36🔗 Drew While you were having sex with him?

25:38🔗 Caller No, I ended it about a year ago.

25:41🔗 Adam You ended it?

25:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:43🔗 Adam What about his girlfriend?

25:45🔗 Caller Well, he broke up with his girlfriend shortly after that happened, needless to say. All right.

25:49🔗 Adam Well, listen, the guy's a world class A-hole. And this is a... He definitely broke the law. But you essentially had a relationship with an older guy when you were 16 or 17 years old, right?

26:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:03🔗 Adam Well, that's what it was. I mean, it happens a lot. It's not a good thing, but it does happen. I don't... What do you want to know, though? I mean, what are you going to do?

26:16🔗 Caller I want to know. See, I was a virgin when I met him, and the first time I ended up having sex was when I got raped. And the whole reason I had sex with him after that was because I more or less felt like, oh, while it's done and over with, what's the point?

26:31🔗 Drew So he wasn't your boyfriend?

26:32🔗 Caller No, he wasn't my boyfriend. I never... Every time I would meet with him, it would be more or less just for sex.

26:39🔗 Drew Were you sexually abused as a child?

26:41🔗 Caller I think I was, but I can't say for sure, because I haven't gotten too much in detail about it with any family members.

26:48🔗 Drew I can't understand how you could be such a victim without something like that happening. I mean, literally marching into the galleys every day to get your dose of victimization.

26:57🔗 Adam Right.

26:57🔗 Drew Just, oh, well, why not?

26:58🔗 Adam I wish I could have marched somewhere when I was in high school. All right. Hey, Becky, here's what you need to do. Whatever it is that you think happened to you, the molestation part, the abuse part, whatever happened when you were younger, that's what you need to start exploring. Not this relationship.

27:19🔗 Drew This was an outgrowth of that.

27:21🔗 Adam Right.

27:22🔗 Drew A mess. The guy's a criminal. But I don't see how you would ever really sort of prove that at this late date.

27:29🔗 Adam All right, Becky, you understand what we're saying?

27:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:31🔗 Adam You're not going to do that, are you?

27:33🔗 Drew I'm not clear that every state sees a difference between what you call statutory rate, which is not a category motion, and rape rape.

27:40🔗 Adam Becky, look into what made you the victim in the first place.

27:43🔗 Caller I am. I'm seeking counseling right now.

27:45🔗 Adam Good.

27:45🔗 Drew That's the important thing.

27:46🔗 Adam But it's not really about focusing so much on this guy.

27:49🔗 Drew It was victimization. Let's put it in that category, okay?

27:52🔗 Adam Yes.

27:53🔗 Drew Full scale.

27:55🔗 Caller All right. Uh-huh.

27:56🔗 Adam All right. We didn't help her at all. Listen, everybody, don't look for-

28:02🔗 Drew Technicalities.

28:03🔗 Adam Well, don't look for what got you to what happened. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, if you're Becky and you want to do something constructive with your time and your life, and you're going to counseling and so on and so forth, don't sit there all session and talk about this 32-year-old you had an affair with for a year and a half. That's neither here nor there. I mean, it's not worth settling that. As a matter of fact, there's nothing really to settle there. The thing to settle is whatever your dad, whatever your uncle, whatever your stepdad, whatever your babysitter, whatever happened to you when you were eight that got you into that, that thought it would be a good idea to come back for a year and a half after he raped you the first time in the bathroom. That's the thing you need to focus on. You too, Drew. Tim?

28:49🔗 Yeah.

28:49🔗 Adam You're 14?

28:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:51🔗 Adam What's up?

28:52🔗 Caller I called in about three weeks ago about my depression, and you guys told me to go see a doctor, and I did. So you recommended me to a shrink. Good. And I haven't gone yet because we don't have the money. But anyway, my depression's got much worse, and I tried cutting myself a couple of times.

29:11🔗 Drew Cutting in order to kill yourself, or cutting just to release tension?

29:14🔗 Caller Cutting just to relieve tension, and I was just wondering what the hell's up with that?

29:21🔗 Drew Well, as people develop overwhelming feelings that they can't endure or can't regulate any other ways, cutting is one of the things that young people do sometimes, to try to just manage overwhelmingly painful feelings.

29:34🔗 Caller Okay.

29:35🔗 Drew And it's not uncommon, but it does speak to how severe the symptoms are and how severe your pain is and how much you got to get to care.

29:43🔗 Adam Yeah. Can you hurry up and get over to the shrink?

29:48🔗 Caller I have to go in September because my parents don't have the money to send me to.

29:53🔗 Drew What about a county facility or a teaching hospital, something like that? You live in a big city?

29:57🔗 Caller Huh?

29:58🔗 Drew You live in a big city?

30:00🔗 Caller No, it's kind of outside of Salem, if you know where that is.

30:03🔗 Drew Salem, Oregon?

30:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:04🔗 Adam Where? Why are your parents going to have money in September?

30:09🔗 Drew Crop.

30:10🔗 Caller I don't know what the hell's up with them.

30:11🔗 Adam Yeah, pumpkin harvest.

30:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:14🔗 Adam You don't know why they're going to have money in September?

30:16🔗 Caller No.

30:16🔗 Adam Okay.

30:18🔗 Drew I would suggest you check out any county facilities you can get your hands on. There always are. Listen, if you can get a computer, get to drdrew.com. We have a guy there named Scott that finds resources in the vicinity. You might look in one of his chats.

30:31🔗 Adam Scott the Drunken Intern?

30:32🔗 Drew No, Scott Zorn.

30:33🔗 Caller Oh.

30:35🔗 Adam That's a different Scott then. What are you doing with Scott the Drunken Intern now?

30:39🔗 Drew He hasn't worked there anymore.

30:40🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Heather?

30:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

30:43🔗 Adam You're 28? What's up, sister?

30:47🔗 Caller Oh, I'm having a problem with my medication. One of them, I like to overtake.

30:53🔗 Drew You like to overtake?

30:55🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

30:56🔗 Drew But you're not overtaking.

30:57🔗 Caller Oh, I do. Whenever I get the chance.

31:02🔗 Drew So you're an addict?

31:03🔗 Caller I think so.

31:04🔗 Drew Has anybody ever treated you for that?

31:06🔗 Caller No.

31:07🔗 Drew Does your doctor understand that you're an addict?

31:10🔗 Adam I'm going with no.

31:11🔗 Drew Why don't you talk to your doctor about that?

31:13🔗 Adam What are you taking?

31:14🔗 Caller Well, I'm on Prozac, and what I'm addicted to is the Klonopin.

31:21🔗 Adam What's that Klonopin do for you, Drew?

31:23🔗 Drew Klonopin is a Valium-like drug or Xanax or Ativan. They're all in the same class, and they all are. Klonopin is the least addictive, but once you're addicted, it's the most difficult to stop. Well, the most protracted withdrawal, let's put it that way. Xanax is probably the most difficult to stop. But it is a-

31:38🔗 Adam Which one has the best kick, Valium?

31:40🔗 Drew Xanax.

31:41🔗 Adam Xanax?

31:42🔗 Drew But it is a profoundly addictive drug, and if you're an addict, off you go, and you need to talk to your doctor about it immediately so they can go after that, as that's probably your primary problem, addiction and not depression, as you'd like them to believe.

31:54🔗 Adam Jenny?

31:55🔗 Yeah?

31:55🔗 Adam You're 13.

31:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:57🔗 Adam What's up?

31:59🔗 Caller I wanted to know if it was illegal to marry your third cousin.

32:03🔗 Drew Not that we know of, no.

32:04🔗 Adam Where are you calling from?

32:05🔗 Caller Illinois.

32:06🔗 Adam No, it's actually encouraged there.

32:08🔗 Drew First cousin, even.

32:09🔗 Adam They have PSAs instructing young kids to marry their first cousin. Unacceptable. Yeah.

32:16🔗 Drew Seatbelts.

32:17🔗 Adam Howie the Hillbilly, I think, is the cartoon character they use to promote it. You ever see a commercial, Jenny?

32:23🔗 Caller No.

32:24🔗 Adam No. I think they end it with, keep it in the family. I think that's their motto.

32:31🔗 Caller Okay.

32:32🔗 Drew McHatfield.

32:33🔗 Adam Yeah. McHatfield. McCoy. All right. So, Drew, it's come to the point we just sit here and amuse ourselves, doesn't it? No one knows what the hell we're talking about. Hey, Jenny, you in love with your third cousin?

32:48🔗 Caller Not love, but I like him.

32:50🔗 Adam I see. Do you think you might marry him?

32:53🔗 Caller I don't know.

32:54🔗 Drew How old is he?

32:55🔗 Caller He's 15.

32:56🔗 Drew Makes for weird family gatherings. That's our one concern. It's a boundary issue. It can screw things up.

33:02🔗 Adam Drew, imagine you going to a picnic with a couple of chicks you used to date. You know what I mean? What a painful, What a high. humiliating experience that would be. Yeah. When you said pass the potato salad, you're just getting a big handful of potato salad thrown on your face, and then looking across, there's some evil Betty on the other side, looking at you cross-eyed, that'd be horrible. Yeah. Listen, it's okay to go outside of the family, find yourself, even sometimes off the block, and out of the neighborhood to find yourself the right woman or man. Malik.

33:40🔗 Yes.

33:40🔗 Adam You're 17.

33:41🔗 Caller Yes.

33:42🔗 Adam What's up?

33:43🔗 Caller Here's the thing.

33:43🔗 Caller I lost my virginity last week.

33:45🔗 Adam I see.

33:47🔗 Caller And she was on the pill.

33:50🔗 Caller Right after I came, I started urinating.

33:53🔗 Adam Directly after?

33:55🔗 Caller Right after.

33:55🔗 Drew Did you have a real full bladder or something?

33:57🔗 Caller No, no, no.

34:00🔗 Adam I'll call him Malik for nothing. Thank you. And were you still in there when you started peeing?

34:06🔗 Caller Yes. It was just uncontrollable.

34:08🔗 Drew You didn't have a real full bladder though?

34:10🔗 Caller No.

34:11🔗 Caller I don't know.

34:13🔗 Drew It wasn't like you had had the urge to pee and saved it?

34:16🔗 Caller No.

34:17🔗 Caller It was just, I guess it was just a sensation.

34:20🔗 Caller I guess.

34:21🔗 Caller I don't know.

34:22🔗 Drew How long did you have sex for?

34:25🔗 Probably like under 10 minutes.

34:27🔗 Drew Are you on any medication?

34:28🔗 Adam It's a marathon for the first time now.

34:30🔗 Nothing.

34:31🔗 Adam Wow. And so you're in her and you start peeing. No condom on?

34:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:35🔗 Nothing.

34:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

34:36🔗 Caller I stopped a couple of seconds after.

34:39🔗 Adam Yeah. After you topped her off? That's a lovely cocktail to be floating around inside the vagina. Just a little semen and urine. Nothing more. What I'll do is take a shot of stool, you know, and drop it in there like a floater. I call that a depth charge and then when it starts foaming up, you chug. Thankfully, Ann's eating, isn't she? Eating gum, that's right.

35:12🔗 Caller Oh my God.

35:13🔗 Adam Hey Ann, how much gum do you have in your mouth? You're chewing it like cud for Christ's sake. This must be one big piece of gum. Oh, okay. Because you are like chewing. You know you're chewing when your jaw is moving left and right, not up and down. It's like going hard right, hard left.

35:29🔗 I just put it in.

35:29🔗 It's really, really sour.

35:30🔗 Oh, okay.

35:31🔗 Adam We have an excuse. So Malik, so you start peeing in her. Did she react?

35:38🔗 Caller She had no idea.

35:38🔗 Caller I didn't tell her.

35:40🔗 Drew So it was just a small amount, yes?

35:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:42🔗 Adam All right. And then you pulled out. Did you continue peeing?

35:45🔗 Caller No.

35:46🔗 Drew You were still erect when this happened?

35:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:48🔗 Drew That's hard to do that.

35:49🔗 Adam Yeah. You're very unique, Malik.

35:51🔗 Caller Thank you.

35:52🔗 Adam Yeah. They should erect a statue to you.

35:55🔗 Drew Make sure you evacuate your bladder next time before you get going.

35:58🔗 Adam It's a bad sign though that the valve does not shut. I mean, most guys know that no matter how intense they have to urinate, if they have an erection, it's not going to come out. You know what I mean? Especially just after the semen does. On the other hand, after you ejaculate, you do tend to want to urinate.

36:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:22🔗 Adam Maybe that thing just hit him immediately.

36:24🔗 Drew Right. And it's his first time. The different sensations may be a little unusual for him.

36:28🔗 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you something. That penis is like a firearm. You got to train with it a little bit. Learn the grip, learn the feel. Take a little target practice like I do at home.

36:37🔗 Drew Right shoulder.

36:37🔗 Adam Arms. That's right. You know when I walk around my house masturbating?

36:42🔗 Drew According to your neighbor?

36:43🔗 Adam I walk around on the property or in the house? In the house, I think it was. Yeah.

36:48🔗 Drew In front of the window, he said.

36:48🔗 Adam In front of the window, masturbating.

36:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:51🔗 Drew That's your proud?

36:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:52🔗 Adam Just touch myself going...

36:53🔗 Caller Look at all the little people.

36:56🔗 Adam Look at all you out there.

36:57🔗 Caller That's right.

36:58🔗 Adam I'm looking down on you. I wonder what's going on in that city. Oh, it's a lot of sex. A lot of sex going on there.

37:05🔗 Drew All right. Enough.

37:06🔗 Adam Okay. We'll take a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to Thomas23. It can't last during sex. Once we know what the problem is, we'll tell him after this. Back in a minute. I'm Adam Corolla.

37:59🔗 Drew Oh, baby.

38:02🔗 Adam Yeah. There's going to be a lightning round. And let me tell you something about tonight's lightning round. It's going to be like the perfect storm.

38:10🔗 Caller Whoo-hoo!

38:12🔗 Adam It's going to be like a cold front moving in from Canada.

38:22🔗 Drew High pressure for me.

38:23🔗 Adam You know what that means? And then, you don't want to know what's coming down the Gulf Stream.

38:29🔗 You're right.

38:29🔗 Adam But it's gonna be big tonight. Big, big, big lightning ramp. Tom?

38:35🔗 Yeah.

38:36🔗 Adam You're 23?

38:37🔗 Caller Yeah. How you guys doing?

38:38🔗 Adam Is this Vinny Barberino?

38:40🔗 Caller No.

38:41🔗 Adam Okay. You can't last too long during sex?

38:45🔗 Caller No, I was wondering if you could tell me what I could do to make it so I can last a little bit longer in having sex.

38:51🔗 Adam How long are you good for now?

38:53🔗 Caller Five minutes.

38:56🔗 Drew Do you have a girlfriend?

38:57🔗 Caller No, at the moment.

38:58🔗 Drew That'll help you.

38:59🔗 Adam What a surprise. Yeah, if you can get with one woman and sort of work it out a little, you can do it.

39:06🔗 Caller There's nothing in particular?

39:08🔗 Adam Well, do you masturbate?

39:11🔗 Caller No.

39:12🔗 Drew Not at all?

39:13🔗 Caller No.

39:14🔗 Adam Why not?

39:16🔗 Caller I just don't need to, I guess.

39:17🔗 Adam That's a damn lie and you know it. Yes, you do.

39:21🔗 Drew You need to.

39:21🔗 Adam You're like nitroglycerin around women. It's been a few months, you haven't seen any action and all of a sudden your penis gets unwrapped from the underpants and it's ready to explode. Understand?

39:35🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

39:36🔗 Adam All right, shut you idiot. That jackass. He's not listening. No. He's lying.

39:43🔗 Drew Either he's lying or not.

39:44🔗 Adam He's a 23-year-old that doesn't masturbate for Christ's sake.

39:46🔗 I think he was masturbating at the time, actually.

39:48🔗 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, I have a fairly provocative and nasally tone. Turns the gents on. I found that out. Listen, guys, you don't want to come so quick when you're on a date. Wack off. 7.30 that night. You'll be fine. You'll be wanting to watch more TV instead of make out. Jane?

40:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:11🔗 Adam You're 17?

40:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:12🔗 Adam What's up?

40:14🔗 Caller I want to know how I could control my anger.

40:16🔗 Adam Yeah?

40:17🔗 Caller Because it's like I almost killed my sister. Well, I guess that's what my mom said.

40:22🔗 Drew How old were you?

40:23🔗 Caller Excuse me?

40:24🔗 Drew When did this happen?

40:26🔗 Caller Probably the beginning of this month.

40:28🔗 Drew And what do you mean your mom told you you almost killed her?

40:31🔗 Caller Well, she said that I didn't know how hard I was hitting my sister or whatnot. And if it wasn't for my mom, that supposedly I would have killed my sister.

40:43🔗 Adam Do you have any brothers?

40:44🔗 Caller My six-year-old.

40:46🔗 Drew Somebody beat you up when you were a kid?

40:48🔗 Caller No.

40:49🔗 Drew Nobody ever hit you?

40:50🔗 Caller No.

40:52🔗 Drew Did you ever have seizures?

40:53🔗 Caller No.

40:53🔗 Drew Any medical problems when you were growing up?

40:55🔗 Caller Nope.

40:56🔗 Adam Well, your sister must be a real bitch.

40:58🔗 Drew Was your mom on cocaine or crack or anything?

41:00🔗 Caller No, my mom doesn't do anything like that.

41:02🔗 Drew But it wasn't when you were a baby? An infant.

41:05🔗 Adam Where's your dad?

41:07🔗 Caller I don't call him dad. I call him sperm donor.

41:11🔗 Adam Sperm donor. That's delightful.

41:13🔗 Drew Did you ever know him?

41:14🔗 Adam No, he's been in the house and providing for the family for 17 years. She just calls him sperm donor.

41:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:20🔗 Drew Did you ever know him?

41:21🔗 Caller He's in the other room.

41:23🔗 Adam He's in the other room?

41:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:25🔗 Adam Oh, and she still calls him sperm donor.

41:26🔗 Drew And why do you hate him so much?

41:28🔗 Caller Because, okay, well, like I have like a lot of anger because my sister, because when I was nine, she molested me.

41:35🔗 Drew Who molested you?

41:36🔗 Caller My sister.

41:37🔗 Drew When you were nine?

41:40🔗 Adam How old is your sister?

41:41🔗 Caller Right now, she's 19.

41:43🔗 Drew She was 11. Who molested her?

41:44🔗 Caller I have no idea.

41:45🔗 Adam SD, sperm donor.

41:48🔗 Drew Has he ever done anything else to you, dad?

41:50🔗 Caller Well, when I was like 11, my dad's friend molested me and I told him and he didn't believe me.

41:57🔗 Adam Your dad's friend molested you?

41:58🔗 Caller Yeah. He said I was lying.

42:00🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second. I'm just going to keep her on the line for another 18 seconds so I can lock in coordinates on her house. This is a job for the Air Force. I'm calling a strike in. I hope she doesn't live in an apartment. Jane? Yeah. Do you live in an apartment? No. Okay, good. Single family dwelling? Good. I'm trying to spare as many innocents as I can. I've had it happen in the past where I've locked in and it was just a two-bedroom apartment on the fifth floor. I took out the whole goddamn block. I mean, a lot of innocent people went and I never like to see that. I'm willing to put up with a certain amount of civilian casualties in my quest to rid the world of these vermin. But those losses were too high. Jane, I'd like you to wrap yourself in a wet blanket and crawl under the bed right now. You're going to hear a lot of noises, some screaming and feel a certain amount of heat. That's okay. Where's your dad right now? Is he in the living room?

43:04🔗 Caller No, he's in his bedroom.

43:05🔗 Adam Okay. It's important that he be on top of the bed and wearing something flammable. All right. So this son of a bitch, his friend did something to you.

43:16🔗 Caller And he told me I was a liar and he said it wasn't true.

43:19🔗 Adam All right. Well, listen, this whole thing's a mess. It really is. And oh, my God.

43:26🔗 Caller It gets better.

43:27🔗 Drew It gets better?

43:28🔗 Adam What happened?

43:29🔗 Caller When I was 15, my boyfriend at the time, he raped me. So like that's how I lost my virginity. So I just kept on having sex with him because I was like, okay, he did it anyway.

43:39🔗 Drew Oh, so you just had that call.

43:41🔗 Adam Yeah. By the way, I found out my new technique. The, well, if you can't beat them, join them technique. It's the first time out a little rocky. But after that, nothing but sex. All right. And so.

43:54🔗 Drew What is that? I got to figure out where God figured that into the natural selection process.

43:59🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

44:00🔗 Drew That instinct. Where did that come from?

44:01🔗 Caller I was going to drink for like about a year and a half.

44:04🔗 Drew Good, good.

44:06🔗 Caller That's because I asked for it.

44:07🔗 Drew Good.

44:08🔗 Adam Good.

44:08🔗 Drew Ask for it again. And in terms of controlling your anger, that can help and maybe some medication can help too. That's a long, rocky, painful, traumatic past.

44:19🔗 Adam Yes. And I worry, like I said, for myself and that six-year-old son who's going to end up putting a bullet in somebody at some point. Jesus Christ. Listen, you unfit parents. I hold you responsible. You understand? You're responsible for all of this. He stands. I wonder why the guy hasn't left. I wonder why he's still around.

44:42🔗 Drew He might not be a mom. We haven't heard about her yet.

44:46🔗 Adam I'm going to kill myself. Joe?

44:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:49🔗 Adam You're 17?

44:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:51🔗 Adam Your penis is crooked?

44:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:53🔗 Adam Now what side does it go to?

44:56🔗 Caller What do you mean what side? Side.

44:57🔗 Caller Oh, like what side?

44:59🔗 Caller Left.

45:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:03🔗 Adam And can you turn the radio down there, Joe?

45:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:06🔗 Adam All right.

45:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:07🔗 Adam Okay. Is it right there?

45:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:09🔗 Caller So what is this business, man? I don't understand it.

45:12🔗 Drew How crooked is it?

45:13🔗 Caller Like, I don't know.

45:14🔗 Caller Kind of.

45:15🔗 Caller It's not like bad.

45:16🔗 Drew And it's never been that way before?

45:18🔗 Caller I don't think so from what I remember, from my knowledge.

45:20🔗 Adam Well, if it was longer, could you put it in your ass?

45:26🔗 I don't shut your mouth and eat it, Drew.

45:28🔗 Drew You use about 800 units of vitamin E every day. Okay. That tends to help.

45:33🔗 Adam Eat it or rub it on?

45:34🔗 Drew Take it on. Take it in your mouth.

45:35🔗 Adam All right.

45:36🔗 Drew 80 milligrams, 800 milligrams, 800 units. That sometimes helps. These little plaques that form on the side of the penis and pull it to one side. They're not uncommon. They don't necessarily mean it's a Peyronid disease unless you have trouble, I mean a true Peyronid, unless you have trouble with functioning, have trouble with sustaining interaction or trouble with pain.

45:54🔗 Adam All right. You'll be fine. A lot of guys have the bent penis, Chris.

45:56🔗 Drew Most do.

45:57🔗 Adam Yeah. Not me. Straight as an arrow. The pristine penis of Adam Corolla.

46:01🔗 Drew Oh, that's right.

46:02🔗 Adam That's right.

46:03🔗 Drew God, I wonder why I couldn't sleep for a few nights.

46:05🔗 Adam I dropped that 100 bucks on like nickel slots in Vegas. Chris?

46:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:10🔗 Adam You're 23?

46:11🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

46:12🔗 Adam You have weird sores on your butt?

46:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:14🔗 Caller I say they're almost like pimple-like, and I get them every now and then.

46:17🔗 Caller I don't know what they are.

46:18🔗 Drew Are they in the exact same spot every time?

46:22🔗 Caller I couldn't really tell you.

46:23🔗 Caller I don't really.

46:24🔗 Adam They form the number 666?

46:27🔗 Drew Are they like in a cluster or sort of a patch? I know it's hard to distinguish.

46:32🔗 Caller They're just randomly around, you know?

46:33🔗 Drew Randomly.

46:34🔗 Adam Hold on a second. We got to take a break here, too. And I could just be zits. You guys do get that on the ass.

46:41🔗 Drew It's a little different, but I'll tell you.

46:43🔗 Adam All right. We'll take a little break. We'll be back with Chris's Infected Ass after this. Hey, yeah, I'm Adam Corolla, soon to be Ace Rockolla with the big lightning round. Whoo, that lightning round is going to be rolling in tonight.

47:43🔗 Caller I feel a storm blowing in.

47:45🔗 Adam Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Forget about the fax number, Dr. Drew. It's going to be big tonight. I'm really, I'm gassed up. My chops are well rested. If you don't count the hour in 20 minutes, I slept the night before, and I'm ready to rock and roll. Jesus Christ, I'm telling you, Drew, it was light as day. It was like noon in Tucson when I walked out of that.

48:11🔗 Drew It was probably 90 degrees too.

48:14🔗 Adam Let me tell you the thing that makes Vegas extra sobering.

48:19🔗 Drew The heat.

48:20🔗 Adam Yeah, the heat and that sort of desert sun. If it's gonna be, it was literally 115, 120 during the day. So, 730 in the morning, it was 90. And that sun is in full effect. And when I walked out of that strip club, it was hot. You know what I mean? Yeah, just it. See, that's why I like the Seattle strip clubs. You walk in, there's a little dew on the ground. There's still some crickets chirping. That I could handle, but man, when you just get hit with that blazing sun, it was like an iced tea commercial. When I walked out, there was that sun. Oh, I want to kill myself. All right, where the hell is we?

49:01🔗 Drew Chris with his butt sores.

49:02🔗 Adam That's right, Chris?

49:03🔗 Caller Yep.

49:04🔗 Adam 23, yeah. Yeah, your butt.

49:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:08🔗 Adam These aren't zits?

49:10🔗 Caller Not that I know of. I mean, zits have never been sore like this.

49:13🔗 Adam Does it come around when it's hot, you know, been sweating and stuff?

49:17🔗 Caller You know, I've never really noticed.

49:19🔗 Caller I just every now and then I'll sit down and I'll notice and they'll be there for three days.

49:22🔗 Drew Is it the exact same spot every time?

49:24🔗 Caller No.

49:25🔗 Drew It moves around?

49:26🔗 Caller Yeah, I thought about it.

49:27🔗 Drew And is it like lumps, like a big zit?

49:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:30🔗 Drew Okay. Those are basically carbuncles or faruncles. And I have theory.

49:35🔗 Adam Does your boyfriend pull out before he orgasms?

49:37🔗 Caller Amen. None of that.

49:39🔗 Drew And what you can do when you get one, really, oral antibiotics are the way to go. Oh, please. It's for bronchiolosis or-

49:46🔗 Adam When you have a sewing kit nearby?

49:47🔗 Drew Get some physohex, some antibacterial scrubs and use that in the shower every day. It is a certain bug, a staph that lives in your skin that tends to cause these things.

49:55🔗 Adam I'll tell you, I've lanced a carbuncle or two on my ass.

49:58🔗 Drew These are not abscessed, typically. They're not ready to be popped. And there's a topical agent called Bactroban that sometimes helps them.

50:06🔗 Adam That was a very, very gratifying experience for me.

50:08🔗 Drew If they come in a cluster, like a real cluster of small ones, that could be herpes.

50:15🔗 Adam On the ass? Boyfriend didn't put a condom on. Maxine?

50:20🔗 Yes.

50:20🔗 Adam You're 23?

50:21🔗 Caller Yes.

50:21🔗 Adam Hello.

50:22🔗 Caller What's up? Well, I have a question for Dr. Drew. I have a friend who is a heroin addict, has been so for about eight years. And he had actually quit for a year and then started up again. And he is still using. And he's been through every single rehab and detox place available in this city.

50:43🔗 Adam All right. I'm putting her on hold because we're pulsating phone.

50:46🔗 Drew I know, but I need more information.

50:48🔗 Adam What is it with everyone in America and these phones they're using?

50:51🔗 Drew What's the longest period of time he's spent in the program?

50:54🔗 Caller Two weeks.

50:55🔗 Drew All right. That's ridiculous. He needs to spend four to six months somewhere.

50:59🔗 Caller Unfortunately, there aren't any places that.

51:03🔗 Adam That phone.

51:03🔗 Drew I can't hear you.

51:04🔗 Adam What? Unfortunately, there's not any places.

51:06🔗 Drew That what? I'm going to shoot her down. Believe me. Any places that what?

51:11🔗 Caller There aren't any places that have the four to six months programs that are covered by his insurance and he doesn't have the funds to.

51:19🔗 Drew He has the funds to shoot heroin every day. He has the funds to stay in a sober living. They go around 800 bucks a month sometimes. And I guarantee you, he can find a way to pay for that. He does not need to be in a hospital except for the first seven days or so. Then he needs to get into a residential program or sober living and stay there for a while. His disease has progressed considerably from when he'd had that year of sobriety. He's not going to be able to do it this time without a lengthy, lengthy stay in a structured environment.

51:44🔗 Adam John? Hello. Oh, geez. What's up there, John?

51:49🔗 Caller How are you doing?

51:50🔗 Adam Good. How are you doing?

51:51🔗 Caller Oh, you'll know. I'm OK. You'll know. OK. So I'll tell the lady the story that answered the phone here. I go to school at UW Madison, and I just moved away from home.

52:02🔗 Adam Yeah. Wisconsin?

52:03🔗 Caller Wisconsin.

52:04🔗 Adam Go Badgers.

52:05🔗 Caller Yeah. Go Badgers. That's what I'm talking about. So I moved back. I went to school, and I came home for Christmas.

52:15🔗 Drew Came home to Brooklyn?

52:17🔗 Caller What's that?

52:18🔗 Adam You came home to Queens.

52:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

52:20🔗 Caller No, I didn't move to Queens. I moved back to Oshkosh, where I live.

52:24🔗 Drew Okay.

52:25🔗 Caller For Christmas.

52:26🔗 Drew To play sing-sing.

52:27🔗 Caller My cousin lives there. He's 36. He has a house there, and he never did anything when he was a kid. You know, he had a boring life. So he asked if you could come out with us, and I didn't really like it. I'm like, fine, sure. So he wanted to experience something, so we bought some mushrooms, and we took him out. And ever since I've known him, he's never liked a girl, never liked a guy, always just been weird. I don't know. I mean, he's a good guy, but he's been weird. So we go out, and we're on mushrooms, and we're having a real deep mushroom conversation. You know, it's a deep mushroom conversation. And I look at him, I go, hey, you're gay. You know, I mean, I don't care, but you're gay.

53:03🔗 Adam And could you take your thumb out of my ass?

53:06🔗 Caller Could you take the thumb out of my ass? You know, I got, I'm having a good buzz here. Can you get your thumb out of my ass? So he goes quiet for a while, and then he pops his head from the back seat and goes, you know what, guys? I'm like, what? I am gay. So it throws off his whole life. Like he's just, he changes everything in his whole life. And he's still working on this, I'm gay thing or whatever.

53:27🔗 Adam Right.

53:27🔗 Caller And he tries to get, I'm coming back from school and my lease opens up next week. So he wants me to stay at his house. So I don't have to get an apartment because I was going to get an apartment. He's like, save money, live with me. You know, not a big deal. And you know, nothing, nothing. He's always been my cousin. You know, it's not a big deal. I said, okay, sure. So I'm living there. And whenever I have people and I was sleeping one night and he walks into my room, it's like, you know, three, four in the morning, I was out, I was wasted. Man, I don't know what to do. I was passed out. So he walks into my room and I wake up and he's got my.

54:05🔗 Adam Oh, listen, you idiot. He just used the F word twice in a very short period of time, a second and a half, you jackass. You know what? I hate guys like John. You know why? You know why I hate guys like John? Why? Because guys like John, our last caller, are the reason people don't like guys. Do you know what I mean? No. All the complaints women, gays and other minorities have about guys, it all comes from guys like John. Long-winded guys who tell crappy stories and offer a lot of commentary on the side. It just drive me insane. They think they're comedians, but they're not really.

54:56🔗 Drew Anderson just got excited about something. I've never seen him move so much during one of these shows.

54:59🔗 Adam Anderson, what are you excited about over there?

55:01🔗 Caller It's just so funny to hear you yell about somebody being long-winded.

55:04🔗 It's classic.

55:07🔗 Adam Oh, I'll tell you.

55:08🔗 Drew And people who think they're funny but really aren't.

55:10🔗 Adam Oh, I'll tell you. If I had an ounce of energy, I would clean house in this place. Anderson, don't worry. Drew, you'd be gone too.

55:18🔗 Caller Also, I just made it that that guy was very long-winded and Ann was like, no, he's telling a good story. And I'm like, cut him off, please. I hate him.

55:26🔗 Drew But don't you think he bothers guys more than anybody else?

55:30🔗 Adam Well, he could bother women except for they don't let him.

55:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:34🔗 Adam I'm tempted to go back to him now though, just because I have such a sadistic streak. Well, I know the story and it sounds bogus, by the way. It sounds bogus, yeah. The cousin pulls the shorts off and wants to gay off with John.

55:50🔗 Drew But that's one of the things about guys like John, everything sounds bogus.

55:54🔗 Adam Yes, that's what it is. Yes. All right, John.

55:58🔗 Caller Yes.

55:59🔗 Adam You realize everything you say, it sounds bogus.

56:03🔗 Caller Okay. Well, it's not.

56:05🔗 Adam All right. You're very humbled and you're my new best friend now.

56:10🔗 Caller I didn't mean to swear.

56:11🔗 Adam Okay. All right. So your cousin, he pulled your blankets off.

56:17🔗 Caller Right. I mean, I woke up, I was very drunk and I said, what are you doing? He ran upstairs. I got all mad and the next day, I sat down and I said, well, I mean, you can like anyone you want, just don't like me. I tried to explain that to him. I said, I apologize. If I let, I definitely didn't lead him on or anything.

56:36🔗 Adam All right. So what do you want to know now, by the way?

56:39🔗 Drew You have nothing to apologize for.

56:41🔗 Caller Now, when I have people over and stuff, whenever he gets a couple in him, he is all over my friends or he'll go places and I'll have my friends over. When I'm not there, they'll stop by to see me, have them over. When he gets a couple in him, he's saying outlandish things to them all the time and he's licking their necks when they're out looking and grabbing their butt all the time. I've tried to explain to him many of many of the times, I'm like, this is not how people act. People get really offended and some people won't even come over or stop by to see me anymore.

57:14🔗 Drew Has he developed any other weird tendencies in his behavior, not just in regard to other people?

57:18🔗 Adam No, Drew.

57:19🔗 Drew Is his work going okay, that kind of thing?

57:21🔗 Caller For him? Yeah. Sometimes. He writes books, so I don't really know.

57:30🔗 Drew I can think of two things. One is that you might have triggered something.

57:33🔗 Adam Fire Island on $20 a night.

57:35🔗 Drew But he sounds manic. He might have triggered something in this guy, some psychiatric sentiment.

57:39🔗 Adam Listen, everybody. Don't do drugs with your family. Do not take family members out and take mushrooms. Because something weird is going to happen. Are you kidding me? That would be my ultimate nightmare, me and my sister tripping out on something, and her telling me some story that I never want to hear. These guys go out and get tanked up with their dads. It's always like a weird thing. Because they're guys. After a few beers, it gets blurred, the line between dad and son and all these. Your mother was some piece of ass back. Oh, Jesus, dad. She had a snatched smell a little bit. She was hot though, and she put out too. That's why I like it. I mean, you know what I mean? No way. No way. Don't do drugs or don't ingest any substances with your family. It always gets weird. You barely handle Christmas with a couple of glasses of red wine, especially women too, because your mom always gets loopy. You know, moms, something happens to women after menopause. My mom has half a glass of Chardonnay, and she's like, well, maybe I shouldn't be telling this story. Oh, no, mom, don't do it. Whatever it is. Don't. Whatever it is. Listen, I got to go to the bathroom. Does anyone need anything? I'm getting up.

59:06🔗 Drew But I can think of two things for John's cousin. One is get him hooked in with the Gay and Lesbian Resource Group. Undoubtedly, that's your city, whether it's in Madison or wherever it is in New York. You're living Oshkosh. Wait, Oshkosh, Wisconsin. Wait a minute. Where did he get that accent?

59:20🔗 Adam I didn't want to ask him.

59:21🔗 Drew All right. In Oshkosh, I'm sure there's a gay and lesbian. Certainly in Madison there is. So he can get a supportive network of people that have dealt with their sex orientation.

59:29🔗 Adam I'd get out of that house.

59:30🔗 Drew Get out of the house. And if that doesn't work, he may need to be seen by psychiatrists because he does sound manic.

59:35🔗 Adam Well, speaking of family, Lauren?

59:37🔗 Caller Yes.

59:38🔗 Adam You're 17?

59:39🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

59:39🔗 Adam That's my sister's name.

59:41🔗 Caller Lauren?

59:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

59:42🔗 Caller That's a very nice name. I was named after Lauren Bacall.

59:45🔗 Adam Oh, really?

59:46🔗 Caller Was she?

59:48🔗 Adam Yeah. She was named after Lauren Hutton.

59:50🔗 Caller Oh, all right.

59:50🔗 Adam Oh, even though Lauren Hutton was only 11 at the time.

59:52🔗 Drew She was three.

59:54🔗 Adam My sister was born. My folks had an inkling. She was still very big in Europe. My sister tried to spell her name L-A-U-R-Y-N for a while, but I had none of it.

1:00:06🔗 Caller Lauren Hill spelled her name like that.

1:00:08🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:00:08🔗 Drew Did you come to her aid?

1:00:10🔗 Adam My sister?

1:00:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:12🔗 Adam I said, listen, whack job. I'm not spelling your name with a Y. Don't forget about it. I don't know. Whatever you're trying to prove, don't do it through the spelling of your name. Go ahead and get a job. All right. Go ahead there, Lauren.

1:00:24🔗 Caller Well, they were just saying that you weren't very funny, but I think you're funny, Adam.

1:00:27🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, now, to be fair, it's only the people I work with that don't think I'm funny. It's not the audience at large.

1:00:35🔗 Caller Okay. Well, that's good.

1:00:36🔗 Adam It's just a producer and engineer in France.

1:00:38🔗 Caller Okay. So anyways-

1:00:39🔗 Adam And partner.

1:00:40🔗 Caller One thing that you probably know is that-

1:00:41🔗 Adam And some of the guests.

1:00:42🔗 Caller I had to grow up-

1:00:43🔗 Caller Shut your mouth.

1:00:45🔗 Drew Who is that?

1:00:46🔗 Caller Am I back? Yeah.

1:00:47🔗 Adam I'm sorry. Go ahead.

1:00:48🔗 Caller Okay. I had to grow up really fast in life, so I tend to act a lot older than I actually am.

1:00:54🔗 Drew What does that mean, grow up really fast?

1:00:55🔗 Caller Well, let's see. I had a lot of kind of messed up things happen when I was younger, but- and when I was 11, my mom died, and I have a little sister, and I have a workaholic lawyer for a dad.

1:01:08🔗 Drew What were the messed up things besides your mom dying?

1:01:12🔗 Caller Well, some-

1:01:15🔗 Caller my dad has a really bad temper, and I'm fairly sure there was some molestation, but nobody will talk about it with me.

1:01:25🔗 Drew By whom?

1:01:26🔗 Caller Nobody will talk about it with me, so I have no idea.

1:01:29🔗 Drew You mean at a very young age?

1:01:31🔗 Caller Yeah, I think very young.

1:01:33🔗 Caller Really?

1:01:34🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:01:35🔗 Caller He-

1:01:36🔗 Drew we don't- we're not used to people-

1:01:37🔗 Caller And it wasn't my dad, I'm sure of that.

1:01:39🔗 Drew We're not used to people needing to talk about that, is what Adam's picking up on here.

1:01:43🔗 Caller Well, it would be kind of nice to know.

1:01:45🔗 Drew Yeah, but-

1:01:46🔗 Adam Well, I mean, I don't know, I wouldn't be so adamant about being molested if maybe no one wants to talk about it because it didn't happen.

1:01:55🔗 Caller No, and there was allegations, but nobody will-

1:01:58🔗 Drew Of what?

1:01:59🔗 Adam Drew stopped it.

1:01:59🔗 Caller And there was custody trials when I was younger over me. Between the mom and the dad? Part of them was molestation, allegations, but nobody will talk about them.

1:02:07🔗 Drew Yeah, but they'll try anything in these-

1:02:10🔗 Caller Yeah, that's true. But there's also just, there's other reasons why I think I may have been, but that's not really-

1:02:15🔗 Adam I was involved with a pretty heated custody battle when my folks broke up, too. My dad was saying, you take him. My mom was saying, why do I got to take him?

1:02:24🔗 Caller Well, now my dad says, I thought I won the custody battle, but now I'm sure I lost.

1:02:29🔗 Adam He's a wonderful individual, that father of yours.

1:02:31🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:02:32🔗 Adam As much as Drew loves lawyers.

1:02:34🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:02:35🔗 Caller Well, my mom was a lawyer, too. All right.

1:02:37🔗 Adam So, the- Oh, boy.

1:02:38🔗 Drew What did she die of?

1:02:40🔗 Caller She was a C5 quadriplegic, and she, from a car accident when she was 18 and when she was 48, she got pneumonia, and she died in her sleep after she got rid of it. She didn't have any energy left. Actually, on my 11th birthday.

1:02:55🔗 Adam Wow. Her name was Mary Mason.

1:02:58🔗 Caller No.

1:02:59🔗 Adam She was a lawyer in a wheelchair?

1:03:01🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:03:02🔗 Caller She was the first woman quadriplegic lawyer in the United States.

1:03:05🔗 Drew Wow.

1:03:06🔗 Adam My mom said she was the first woman quadriplegic lawyer in the United States.

1:03:11🔗 Caller Did she?

1:03:12🔗 Drew He must be done for as his sister.

1:03:14🔗 Adam Now I realize walking around while she was saying it is probably a lie. All right. So anyway.

1:03:20🔗 Caller Okay. So my question is, I'm in love with this guy and I've dated him off and on for the last two and a half years, fairly seriously for about the first 17 months, and I was really good for a little while about not seeing him, and he's been dating this girl for about the last five months.

1:03:38🔗 Drew Oh, you already lost me. You've been seeing him for two and a half years.

1:03:41🔗 Caller I've been seeing him for two and a half years. We dated really seriously for the first...

1:03:44🔗 Drew Why do you have to not see him?

1:03:50🔗 Caller Because he's somewhat of a womanizer.

1:03:53🔗 Adam Okay. He's got another girlfriend. How old is he?

1:03:55🔗 Caller He's 21.

1:03:56🔗 Adam All right. You're 17. He's a jerk, just like your old dad.

1:04:00🔗 Caller Right.

1:04:01🔗 Adam All right.

1:04:01🔗 Caller The thing is, is no matter how hard I try, I still...

1:04:04🔗 Adam I know. That's the beauty of being a womanizer. I know, because you're so attracted to that, to trouble.

1:04:10🔗 Drew Trouble and abandonment.

1:04:12🔗 Adam Find yourself a nice guy that you're not attracted to.

1:04:15🔗 Drew Right. A nice, boring guy.

1:04:17🔗 Adam And call to life. You're only attracted to him because he's dangerous.

1:04:21🔗 Drew He's abandoning, too.

1:04:22🔗 Adam And abandoning, just like your old dad. Sarah?

1:04:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:04:26🔗 Adam You're 17?

1:04:27🔗 Caller Yep.

1:04:27🔗 Adam You lost your virginity last night?

1:04:29🔗 Caller Yep.

1:04:30🔗 Adam Wow.

1:04:31🔗 Caller How?

1:04:32🔗 Adam No, I said, wow. Oh, yeah. I know how.

1:04:36🔗 Drew You've read about it.

1:04:37🔗 Adam That's right. It's a movie. Yeah. So?

1:04:41🔗 Caller Well, I just had a question.

1:04:42🔗 Caller I'm like kind of like freaking out today about it.

1:04:44🔗 Drew You didn't use any contraception?

1:04:46🔗 Caller No. Well, we did.

1:04:47🔗 Drew What'd you use?

1:04:48🔗 Caller A condom.

1:04:49🔗 Drew Did it work?

1:04:50🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:04:51🔗 Caller That's the thing. Hmm.

1:04:53🔗 Drew Did your boyfriend understand how to use it?

1:04:55🔗 Caller Well, no.

1:04:56🔗 Caller Like, he put it on.

1:04:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:04:58🔗 Caller And so I don't know. Like, I mean, I'm just, like, worried about, like, just, like, making sure because I know they're not, like, 100% normal.

1:05:03🔗 Caller Okay.

1:05:04🔗 Drew All right.

1:05:05🔗 Adam All right. But it didn't break.

1:05:06🔗 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:05:07🔗 Caller Not that I'm aware of.

1:05:09🔗 Drew All right. What's your question?

1:05:10🔗 Adam I know. But it's like, put it this way. If you had, like, in-laws coming in from New York and the plane landed and you saw them that night and I said, did the plane crash? You wouldn't go, well, not, I don't know. I can't say for sure, but they were here. It's like, just, no. I mean, the condom, you'd know if the condom broke, right?

1:05:33🔗 Drew But anyway, she wants extra protection.

1:05:34🔗 Adam She's paranoid.

1:05:34🔗 Drew All right. So what do you want to do?

1:05:36🔗 Caller So I was just wondering if it's okay for me to get the morning after pill still.

1:05:40🔗 Drew Sure. You have 72 hours.

1:05:42🔗 Caller I have 72 hours. Well, do you know what states they have it in?

1:05:45🔗 Drew It's in every state, but in the state of Washington, you can get it without a prescription from a doctor.

1:05:50🔗 Caller So I have to get a prescription? So does that mean I have to do an exam and everything?

1:05:54🔗 Drew Usually. But it's called Planned Parenthood.

1:05:56🔗 Adam Really? What kind of exam?

1:05:58🔗 Drew Well, Planned Parenthood might give it without it.

1:06:00🔗 Adam What kind of exam? You don't have to get an exam to get other medications.

1:06:05🔗 Drew Well, part of it is to get her in to get her regular health screening if she's sexually active, and then for somebody to sit down and talk with her about more appropriate contraceptive measures. So it's an issue.

1:06:16🔗 Adam All right, well go into Planned Parenthood and see if you can get it.

1:06:18🔗 Drew Yeah, it's an issue of what is appropriate medical practice. My profession is under such a tack that professionalism is a non-issue now. Everyone wants access to everything right away.

1:06:27🔗 Adam Well, listen, all you screwballs out there who think medical care is some sort of god-given, preordained thing that the state is supposed to take care of. Why the hell should you? Do the math. My mom had hernia surgery a few months ago, actually a few weeks ago, and she said to me, oh, she was bitching and moaning. I mean, mild bitching and moaning. You know, it took me five weeks and I had to go in twice, and the doctor this, and I didn't get to talk to a real doctor, and I said, hey, what do you want for nothing? You know what I mean? It's like, hey, mom, how much you pay for medical insurance? You know, like $4 a month? What the hell do you want? To be flown over to the Mayo Clinic? This is why my family hates me, by the way. I said, listen, you don't pay anything in. You never did pay anything. You got about 50 cents into this system over the last 25 years. What do you expect? I mean, do the math. What are you supposed to do? Nobody pays in and 275 million people have access to the world's greatest health care? No, you want to get some good health care? Give someone some money. You can get whatever you want, believe me. And believe me, there's nothing wrong with that. It's no different than a car. You want to complain about the piece of ass you drive? Hey, I got a quick fix. Go get out 55 grand, go get yourself a nice BMW 5 Series with leather, air and a CD player. Oh, you don't want to spend the money? Then shut up. That's it. Whiners. You can get a doctor, come to your house and do a gallbladder surgery in your living room while you're watching TV. You got enough money. You can get anything you want. But if you want to pay six bucks a month and then complain, or you don't want to work and then complain, it's more the Corolla style. Shut up. What am I supposed to do? Cry? You're lucky anyone's seen you at all. All right.

1:08:30🔗 Drew There we go.

1:08:30🔗 Adam All right.

1:08:31🔗 Drew Let's start again. Okay.

1:08:32🔗 Adam All right. We're getting fired up.

1:08:34🔗 Drew A little too into this.

1:08:35🔗 Adam I'm a little long-winded tonight.

1:08:36🔗 Drew Let's take a break.

1:08:37🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:08:38🔗 Drew Break.

1:08:38🔗 Adam You accused me of a long wind and the wind gets longer.

1:08:41🔗 Drew Easy, Anderson.

1:08:42🔗 Adam We got the lightning round coming up.

1:08:43🔗 Drew He's also feeling very aggressive here.

1:08:44🔗 Adam That's right. I could lunge. That glass isn't going to stop me, Anderson. Well, maybe the second sheet, but I'm sure I get my head through the first sheet of glass that's between us. All right. When we come back, we'll speak to Gina. Gina's 29, thinks her vaginal area is too wet all the time. Is that true? Yeah. You have like moss growing down there and gecko lizards crawling around?

1:09:11🔗 Caller No. Actually, I have a tan fun in almost all the time.

1:09:15🔗 Adam Really?

1:09:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:09:17🔗 Adam Turning me on, baby. You a big gal?

1:09:19🔗 Caller No.

1:09:19🔗 Adam All right. Now I'm excited. Hold on a second.

1:09:22🔗 Caller Okay.

1:09:22🔗 Adam All right. We'll take ourselves a break. We'll get back to the lake that is Gina's vagina after this. Hello.

1:09:31🔗 Drew This is Loveline.

1:09:33🔗 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

1:10:01🔗 Adam Love Line, I'm Adam Corolla, soon to become Ace Rockolla. Where's my cowbell? I'm going to warm that baby up. I'm going to be the granddaddy of all lightning rounds. I'm going to be the granddaddy of all lightning rounds. I'm going to be the granddaddy of all lightning rounds.

1:10:18🔗 Drew I hope not.

1:10:19🔗 Adam Funny when they say that grand, it's the granddaddy of all bowl games or whatever, but it's like granddaddy, cramps in its pants, can't remember anything, could get kicked, it's ass kicked by granddaughter. I don't like that.

1:10:35🔗 Drew Uh-oh.

1:10:36🔗 Adam Gina.

1:10:37🔗 Caller Yes. Hi.

1:10:40🔗 Adam You're 29.

1:10:41🔗 Drew What's up, Gina?

1:10:42🔗 Adam So you got the wet cooch now?

1:10:45🔗 Caller Well, yes.

1:10:46🔗 Drew How long have you had that for?

1:10:47🔗 Caller You know what? Pretty much ever since I came for like 15 years at least, I guess.

1:10:52🔗 Drew Anybody try to treat it or work with it?

1:10:54🔗 Caller No, I haven't actually done anything about it. I just-

1:10:58🔗 Adam Yeah. If you throw some kitty litter down there, it'll sop it up.

1:11:01🔗 Drew When was the last time you had a pap smear?

1:11:04🔗 Caller Oh, wow. A couple of years ago.

1:11:07🔗 Drew Aren't you doing that every year?

1:11:08🔗 Caller No.

1:11:08🔗 Drew How come?

1:11:11🔗 Caller Yeah, it's very intrusive. I feel uncomfortable being there.

1:11:14🔗 Drew Yeah, it's to prevent you from dying of cervical cancer, right? Do you understand that's what it's for?

1:11:19🔗 Adam All right. Don't get insulting, Drew. Her vagina is like the Summer Olympics. Just every four years it comes around.

1:11:24🔗 Drew But do you understand a 28-year-old, if you list common causes of death, there's one. That's totally preventable.

1:11:32🔗 Caller Okay. I didn't realize that was that.

1:11:33🔗 Drew And that's why you get that test.

1:11:35🔗 Adam You're not with a man right now?

1:11:36🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

1:11:37🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. How's he doing with that?

1:11:40🔗 Caller With what? The...

1:11:43🔗 Adam That mire you have between your legs.

1:11:46🔗 Caller Well, it's not a problem when we're having sex. It's just every other aspect of my life, I just constantly have a tampon in unless I'm sleeping.

1:11:56🔗 Adam And that's got to get expensive after a while, doesn't it?

1:12:02🔗 Drew Anything about the quality of what's coming out? The smell, the look? Is it whitish?

1:12:06🔗 Caller It's very clear. It's never looked any different since I...

1:12:13🔗 Adam Is it true that Spielberg wants to cement over it and build this new complex on your vagina?

1:12:20🔗 Caller Well, if that was possible, I wouldn't mind.

1:12:22🔗 Drew Well, look, there's something called lucorrhea that can occur where actually lymph can flow out of there.

1:12:29🔗 Adam How do you know lymph?

1:12:30🔗 Drew Lymphatics?

1:12:31🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:12:32🔗 Drew You have to be looking under a microscope, really. It's hard to tell.

1:12:34🔗 Adam I see.

1:12:35🔗 Drew Or some people have vaginitis, some people just have a lot of glandular secretions in that area. But that's something that somebody needs to investigate at the time of a pelvic exam.

1:12:44🔗 Adam What are you using for birth control?

1:12:46🔗 Caller Oh, condoms.

1:12:48🔗 Adam Okay. Why? I mean, you've had this man for a while?

1:12:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:12:55🔗 Caller We've been going out for about six years.

1:12:58🔗 Drew Why aren't you on the pill?

1:13:00🔗 Caller You know, I've used that before, and I just I don't like it. I can't take it regularly. I have a problem with pills.

1:13:07🔗 Drew Why?

1:13:09🔗 Caller I know it's psychosomatic, but I just can't swallow them.

1:13:12🔗 Adam Hold on a second. We're getting to something here. Problem with pills. Finds a gynecologist to be too intrusive. Which I understand. But most women feel that way, and they go anyway. I don't trust people who can't swallow pills. Took a whole handful of vitamins today, no problem. Wash it down with that sawdust. Gina, what's the problem with your pill, Dagan?

1:13:36🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:13:36🔗 Caller When I try and swallow it, even as small as they are, sometimes it comes back up, I just-

1:13:41🔗 Adam You can't just get a whole mouthful of water and put the pill and let it float around in that mouthful, and then swallow the whole thing of water.

1:13:48🔗 Drew I'm crunching on some applesauce, just take it down.

1:13:51🔗 Caller I suppose I could.

1:13:52🔗 Caller I mean, I've been on it before.

1:13:54🔗 Adam Hold on, the pill, the birth control pill is tiny.

1:13:58🔗 Caller I know, that's what I'm saying. And even with that small of a pill, I still have problems.

1:14:02🔗 Adam What is your malfunction?

1:14:03🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:14:04🔗 Adam What's up with you psychologically?

1:14:07🔗 Caller You know, it's just food. Anything with the whole mouth thing is an issue.

1:14:11🔗 Adam Why? Anyone force you to perform oral sex on them or something?

1:14:16🔗 Caller Nope. I have a very normal life.

1:14:18🔗 Adam What's so weird about you?

1:14:20🔗 Caller You know, I don't know. I'm very, raised very normally.

1:14:24🔗 Adam Okay. Go to the gynecologist then.

1:14:26🔗 Caller Okay.

1:14:27🔗 Adam All right. And get on the pill and get over yourself, would you? Hey, listen, everybody, since it's a long winded night here on Loveline, we don't have a guess. I got a few things to tell you, idiots. There's a lot of stuff that you do in your life. I'll include myself in this. It's not, they're not okay things. Don't write them off as okay. You know, you people who can't swallow a caraway seed with a quart of buttermilk behind it? That ain't okay. That's wrong. That's bad. Don't write off everything you don't do as okay. You don't be able to, that's just me. I don't do this. I don't do that. I don't eat this. I don't know what it is. I don't eat vegetables. I don't swallow pills. I don't go to that guy. That's me.

1:15:10🔗 Drew What do you not do?

1:15:11🔗 Adam Here's my, I peed in the sink. Here's my point. I peed in the sink so much, I swear to Christ, it's a true story. I was putzing around my house, just like cleaning it out. Like once every six months, I just walked through my house and my underpants and start throwing away t-shirts and CDs and just junk that I've collected. And I was cleaning out my bathroom. And for some reason, everything in the medicine cabinet was piled up in the sink. And I was going to clean the medicine cabinet out. They had like rust marks on it and stuff. I was going to clean it out and then put the stuff back in the medicine cabinet. I had to take a leak. So I walked into the bathroom, stood over the sink for a minute and went, oh, it's all full of crap. And I started to walk out of the bathroom. And then I went, hey, wait a minute, Nimrod. Why don't you pee in the toilet like a human being? And I went, oh, yeah, that's right. The toilet's wide open. No waiting. I thought, Jesus Christ, that's bad.

1:16:19🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

1:16:27🔗 Adam I had to take a leak and the sink was filled up with a toothbrush and whatnot. And I thought, well, I guess I'll hold it.

1:16:35🔗 Drew On one hand, I'm impressed you didn't just go right ahead.

1:16:38🔗 Adam How dare you? How dare you? What? Sorry.

1:16:42🔗 Caller Why do you pee in the sink again?

1:16:44🔗 Drew Because he can.

1:16:45🔗 Adam Well, A, because I can.

1:16:48🔗 Drew When most male behaviors that don't make sense or that seem just awful, the question why? Because they can't. It's his house. He's marking his domain.

1:16:57🔗 Caller He can also take a crap on the front lawn.

1:17:00🔗 Drew Oh, he's done that, too.

1:17:03🔗 Adam No, I got locked out of the house. What the hell was I supposed to do? I got locked out, for Christ's sake. The key broke off in the goddamn lock. What was I supposed to do? It was already coming out of me.

1:17:18🔗 Drew When you were potty training that damn dog, that was the other time.

1:17:22🔗 Adam Oh, I did take a crap. Did I take a crap?

1:17:24🔗 Caller Yes, you did.

1:17:25🔗 Adam I think I may have that time. Okay.

1:17:27🔗 Caller That's right, to show him what to do.

1:17:30🔗 Adam No, but that's a piss. I didn't crap out in the lawn of someone. Yes, you said you did.

1:17:33🔗 Drew Is there anything else?

1:17:34🔗 Adam I crapped in the dand to show him what not to do. I think there's a big difference.

1:17:37🔗 Drew Did you rub his nose in it?

1:17:39🔗 Adam I rubbed my nose in it, so I wouldn't do it again.

1:17:42🔗 Drew It was sympathy for the dog. Think of other things that you wouldn't want him to do. I guarantee he's done it.

1:17:47🔗 Adam No, here's why.

1:17:48🔗 Drew Masturbate off the balcony. I promise you it's happened.

1:17:51🔗 Adam How dare you? I did not masturbate off the balcony. I urinate in the sink, in the bathroom sink, that is.

1:18:01🔗 Drew It's the right height.

1:18:02🔗 Adam Kitchen sink counter height is 36 inches. That's a little lofty.

1:18:06🔗 Drew Right height.

1:18:06🔗 Adam Bathroom is 32 inches and I can get at that, no problem. But here's the deal. Yes. Drew, I think Drew's turned the corner on this one. He's over on my side. First off, I take very long leaks. I leak it's like three or four songs on the radio. I'm still peeing. Because I'm such a successful guy and time is at a premium, I will often brush my teeth and take a leak. I just love the look on Danielle's face because she finds this repugnant. I will, to save time, urinate in the sink and brush my teeth simultaneously. You see?

1:18:51🔗 Caller Don't you rinse off the toothbrush?

1:18:54🔗 Adam Yeah, I'll miss that. I know where I'm going.

1:18:57🔗 Drew Not while he's peeing.

1:18:59🔗 Caller If he's brushing him while he's peeing, then why wouldn't he be?

1:19:02🔗 Adam I can keep it. No, I'll rinse it off, brush my teeth. I don't... If I do have to go down, I won't confuse the two streams of water. Don't get me wrong.

1:19:11🔗 But there's no splashing whatsoever?

1:19:13🔗 Adam It's hard to tell. I couldn't attest to that 100%. But no, I'm pretty good. The sink... See, that's the thing about the sink. No splash. Pee right on there. You don't get all over the seat and all over the tank, and especially within...

1:19:25🔗 Drew And tell me you don't complain to Doug about that. I don't.

1:19:29🔗 Adam Well, because you broke the poor man so many years ago.

1:19:33🔗 Drew He must be sitting down.

1:19:34🔗 Adam He's... Oh! Doug sits and weeps when he goes number one on the toilet. And then uses a linen cloth and wipes the bowl and the seat down. But here's another one, Ann.

1:19:44🔗 Drew The loss of his soul.

1:19:45🔗 Adam You have a little erection in the morning. Hard to get down to the toilet with that thing, I'll tell you. Goes all over the tank and the magazine rack.

1:19:53🔗 Caller Look at Drew. He's like, yes.

1:19:54🔗 Drew There's something to this.

1:19:55🔗 Adam Drew is defending me. Run the water. I save water, by the way, because I take a whiz in it. You flush a toilet, you let a few gallons go down. I'm doing my part. What are you guys doing, by the way? That's right. That's my point.

1:20:09🔗 Drew Put a brick in our toilet.

1:20:13🔗 Adam I use my own fecal matter to heat my stove. All right.

1:20:19🔗 Drew Daniel's gone.

1:20:20🔗 Adam All right. The honeymoon's over, right, baby? Listen, you guys are so uptight. You really ought to get over this. It's my house. I pee where I like. I save the toilet for the important stuff. Why burn the toilet with what? Number two. That and the living room. I actually had a sharp metal rim. It reminds me of my own popcorn, decorative popcorn container made out of a toilet seat there.

1:20:50🔗 Drew A little barrel of design along the base of the toilet.

1:20:52🔗 Adam That's right. All right. All right. Anne, you want me to come by and babysit or something like that? No? Watch the kids. You want to?

1:21:03🔗 Caller I could put a diaper on you.

1:21:04🔗 Adam I'll just sit around and drink it.

1:21:06🔗 Definitely no splash involved there.

1:21:08🔗 Drew Don't tempt them. I'll just get to change it too, Anne. Be careful.

1:21:12🔗 Adam I'll tilt a few beers and watch the kids while you and Doug go out for an evening out. What do you say?

1:21:17🔗 Caller Actually, you know what? That sounds kind of awesome.

1:21:19🔗 Adam Yeah, that's good.

1:21:20🔗 Caller I don't mind you peeing in my sink.

1:21:22🔗 Adam No, you run the water. It's fine. You're in sterile, right, Drew?

1:21:25🔗 Drew Absolutely.

1:21:26🔗 Adam There you go. Josh? What's happening there, Josh? 16.

1:21:34🔗 Caller I got some questions about my penis here because it really sucks.

1:21:37🔗 Caller My penis is the worst penis in the world.

1:21:39🔗 Caller Why?

1:21:40🔗 Caller Because it's short and it's not that great.

1:21:42🔗 Caller It's been through rough times.

1:21:43🔗 Caller I mean, aside my masturbation.

1:21:46🔗 Adam Seen a lot of heartache in it, 17, 16 years?

1:21:48🔗 Caller Yeah, 16 and a half, almost 17.

1:21:51🔗 Caller I almost forgot.

1:21:51🔗 Caller Let me throw some.

1:21:55🔗 Adam All right, screwball. All right, we're going to take ourselves a break. Leilani is 13. Her dad calls her a whore.

1:22:03🔗 Drew Now, wait a minute. You're doing a lightning round?

1:22:05🔗 Adam Let me talk to her real fast. Leilani?

1:22:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:07🔗 Adam Your dad calls you a whore?

1:22:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:11🔗 Drew He's an awful guy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Is your mom around?

1:22:15🔗 Caller No.

1:22:16🔗 Drew Where's your mom?

1:22:17🔗 Caller My parents got divorced when I was about 10.

1:22:21🔗 Adam Why are you living with your dad?

1:22:23🔗 Caller Because my mom's an alcoholic and she's been to many houses and stuff and she's been in and out of jail over the years.

1:22:31🔗 Adam No. All right. Is your dad, is he an alcoholic?

1:22:36🔗 Caller No, not really, but he smokes pot sometimes and stuff, so.

1:22:40🔗 Adam Really?

1:22:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:43🔗 Adam What is he, a Hawaiian guy?

1:22:45🔗 Caller No, my mom is.

1:22:46🔗 Adam Your mom is?

1:22:47🔗 Caller My mom's Hawaiian.

1:22:48🔗 Adam Yeah, that Leilani thing. So, well, you name a kid Le and then is your first name Lani?

1:22:56🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

1:22:57🔗 Adam No. All right. Can you ask him to stop calling you a whore, please?

1:23:02🔗 Caller I've tried to talk about it with him about, like, I've tried to be reasonable about it and say, like, I don't appreciate it when you call me that.

1:23:09🔗 Drew Good for you.

1:23:10🔗 Caller Because, like, girls say, like, you're a bitch, you should get off your lazy ass, you know, like.

1:23:14🔗 Adam Oh, that's fantastic.

1:23:15🔗 Drew And how does he react to you asserting yourself?

1:23:20🔗 Caller Well, it's just, like, I do so much around the house, and I have, like, well, I just, I have a big family, and I try, I'm, like, a lot of a mother figure for my little brothers and sisters.

1:23:31🔗 Drew Yeah, but you're not the mother, you're a 13-year-old. You need your own life and your own childhood.

1:23:37🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:23:37🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:23:38🔗 Adam All right.

1:23:38🔗 Caller I kind of missed out on that.

1:23:39🔗 Adam Do you have friends?

1:23:40🔗 Drew Yeah, friends for you, Loveline. Yeah. You need a good, supportive network of friends and maybe even friends' parents, some adults you can go to to look for refuge and support, because, boy, your family's not the place you're gonna get it.

1:23:51🔗 Adam All right, I'm dying. I gotta use the sink, all right? Yeah. All right, so we'll be back after this. It is 11.45 straight up. We're gonna have a little bit of a talk to Big Craig. Craig, what's up? Hey, Craig, what's going on? 14, what's up, man, Craig?

1:25:10🔗 Caller Oh, God, Ace Rockolla, man.

1:25:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:13🔗 Adam You are surrounded by people smoking weed, huh? And you want to know if that's going to make you get a little Cantech high?

1:25:22🔗 Caller Yeah, but I've never smoked before, and I was just wondering what the effect of that can be, you know?

1:25:25🔗 Adam No, no. No, you're fine. But let me tell you something about a Cantech guy, but I made it right, oh, let me check the time, but it was 11.45 and 35, so 14 minutes and 25 seconds, the way it was, I was dropping the hour straight up, midnight, and I'm with you now, I'm Ace Rockolla, and I'm about to have a night with Drew, and he is hot, hot, hot, smack the ad in the middle, light it up. Now listen, man, you watch people get high long enough, and you'll start feeling high from watching them get high, but it won't be the spot, it won't be the body that gets you high, it's that environment. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's get back on the phone there. We'll speak to Dave. Dave is 24 years old. He's debating on having an affair with someone at work. You married there, Dave Ski?

1:26:10🔗 Caller No, but I'm engaged.

1:26:11🔗 Adam You're engaged, yeah. Yeah. One last big fling of room before you tie the knot, huh? All right, let me give the time real fast. It's 1146 and 25, 13 minutes and 35 minutes. I was trying to be a light around, well, I mean, I don't know, I drew over there, I was certified.

1:26:27🔗 Drew Why would you do something like that if you're engaged? Why are you engaged then?

1:26:31🔗 Caller That is the question. You know, I've been dating her since I was eight, about six years now.

1:26:35🔗 Drew Maybe you shouldn't be.

1:26:36🔗 Caller I popped the question about eight months ago. We've been on and off the whole time and I finally thought, you know, I was ready to settle down, but.

1:26:44🔗 Drew You're only 24, first of all. And secondly, when you were off, I wonder if, were you dating other people? Were you just sitting around pining? I mean, really.

1:26:51🔗 Caller Well, no, I was kind of known to be a womanizer by her and my friends.

1:26:54🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:26:56🔗 Caller Twinkie hole, baby.

1:26:58🔗 Drew Plenty of experience. But I don't know. It just maybe just maybe you're ready.

1:27:03🔗 Adam But I know you don't have to really know, but he's a cheater.

1:27:08🔗 Caller He's a cheater, though.

1:27:09🔗 Adam Check the time. It's 1147. That is 45 seconds and 12 is away.

1:27:19🔗 Jesus Christ in heaven.

1:27:21🔗 Drew Do you think he's just a cheater? That's always going to be.

1:27:23🔗 Adam Could just be a cheater. Could be his MO.

1:27:26🔗 Drew He's got to change. If he's got a real relationship, that's got to stop.

1:27:28🔗 Adam Hey, Druski, you know what MO stands for?

1:27:30🔗 Caller MO.

1:27:32🔗 Adam Heather, you're 23.

1:27:35🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:27:35🔗 Adam What's up there, is that right?

1:27:36🔗 I recently contracted, excuse me, a cold sore. I've never had one before.

1:27:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:44🔗 I just wanted to know if they could be passed the same way genital herpes can be, or if they are.

1:27:50🔗 Adam Passed the pepe. You got yourself a boyfriend there, Heather?

1:27:54🔗 Oh yeah.

1:27:54🔗 Adam Not anymore. Drew, what time is it? Let me check that. It's 1148 straight up to them. It's way up and down.

1:28:00🔗 Drew They could be passed.

1:28:01🔗 Adam It's really lightning fast.

1:28:02🔗 Drew Passed the pepe, passed the mouth, passed the other skin sites.

1:28:05🔗 Adam Yeah, that's right.

1:28:05🔗 Basically anything, because basically what happened was, I started noticing that my tongue broke out, and then the rest of my mouth broke out, and now my throat is breaking out. I don't know if it's actually a cold sore, but I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

1:28:18🔗 Drew All right, let's just have the stomatitis that may or may not be herpes. Yeah, you know, it's like a medication reaction. Any medications?

1:28:26🔗 Adam No, I don't have any. You're on the med skis, Heather?

1:28:29🔗 Huh?

1:28:29🔗 Adam Medication, baby?

1:28:30🔗 Caller No.

1:28:31🔗 Drew No medicines, antibiotics, or anything last week or so?

1:28:33🔗 Caller No.

1:28:35🔗 Adam All right, that better be as well. It is 1148 and 45 seconds, 11 minutes, 15 seconds. We'll wait for the top of the hour straight up. I'm Ace Rockolla, the good funner.

1:28:44🔗 Caller Ace Rockolla.

1:28:46🔗 Adam Partner Dr. Drew over there, smack dab in the middle of the lightning round. The fastest 28 minutes in radio. And now we're going to, what? It's only 11 minutes? Well, then it's really goddamn slow. Joe?

1:28:58🔗 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

1:28:59🔗 Adam Joe, you're 19 there, brother.

1:29:01🔗 Caller I have to apologize. My question isn't the one that's posted. And I can give you reason that people call in with different questions. Danielle won't let us through.

1:29:11🔗 Adam Well, let me tell you something about the love affair with young Danielle. It is over. We're breaking off the engagement. Ever since she heard about me, she's very judgmental, that little princess. And they would have to take care of her. Yeah, yeah, Joe.

1:29:25🔗 Caller What are the side effects of methotrexate?

1:29:28🔗 Caller Are you taking it?

1:29:28🔗 Drew Are you taking methotrexate?

1:29:29🔗 Adam Well, let's just assume he is.

1:29:31🔗 Caller What's the side effect of methotrexate?

1:29:32🔗 Drew It depends what he's taking it for. Are you taking it for rheumatoid arthritis or for chemotherapy?

1:29:37🔗 Caller Rheumatoid arthritis.

1:29:38🔗 Drew You have rheumatoid arthritis?

1:29:39🔗 Caller Yes.

1:29:40🔗 Adam All right. What are you taking for?

1:29:41🔗 Drew Probably rash, fatigue, and obviously they'll watch your liver function. But most of my patients is just fatigue and more than anything else.

1:29:48🔗 Adam Hey, Drew, let me check the time of that.

1:29:49🔗 Drew It's gonna affect your blood count.

1:29:50🔗 Adam It is 1149 in 55 seconds. That's 10 minutes and five seconds away from the top of the average.

1:29:55🔗 Caller Straight up, it's 1149.

1:29:59🔗 Dr. Drew's back in the phone.

1:30:00🔗 Adam Here we go. Michael?

1:30:02🔗 Yeah?

1:30:03🔗 Adam Yeah, you're volunteering there, buddy. What is up there?

1:30:06🔗 Caller I was wondering what the average penis size for a 14-year-old is.

1:30:10🔗 Adam Nine inches. Why, you smaller than I am? You're not smaller than I am, are you, buddy?

1:30:15🔗 Caller No, I'm not smaller.

1:30:16🔗 Adam You're not smaller than I am? Well, I mean, listen, to be fair. Yeah, usually between like eight and a quarter, nine and a half, the average 14-year-old, somewhere in that range. What do you add? About eight? Yeah, that's flaccid though, right buddy? Yeah. Yeah, all right. Well, you're fine then.

1:30:36🔗 Drew There's no average 14-year-old because there's so many different stages of puberty.

1:30:39🔗 Adam That's right.

1:30:40🔗 Drew Don't worry about it at 14.

1:30:42🔗 Adam That's right. It's 11, 50, 50, 50, 50. It is 11. In 50 and 55 seconds, the weight of the average man with the lighter rounds back in the afterthought of a hole in the bottom of a hole of a man who's going to vote to make it in.

1:30:58🔗 Caller My God.

1:30:59🔗 Caller Hi.

1:31:00🔗 Adam Made it to 15 years early, talking to Ace Rockolla, my good partner, Dr. Rooney, is hot, hot, hot.

1:31:04🔗 Caller What's up there, brother?

1:31:05🔗 Caller Hi, I was just wondering if you could get pregnant from giving a guy a blow job.

1:31:11🔗 Adam Oh, yes, indeed, and you know where the baby comes out, don't you, sister? Same place it came in. That's right.

1:31:17🔗 Drew And you gained 300 pounds.

1:31:19🔗 Adam Right out your mouth there, baby.

1:31:21🔗 Caller You really can?

1:31:21🔗 Adam Yeah, absolutely.

1:31:22🔗 Drew 4,000 calories per molecule.

1:31:25🔗 Adam You understand?

1:31:26🔗 Caller Okay.

1:31:27🔗 Adam You blow up one shot of that. That's what happened to Ricky Lake. She was 14. She blew up a producer and that was it. Pow. Flated right up there, brother. Now, the regular Megan. Yeah. Listen there, honey cheese. If you're asking that question, you're too young for the blow, you understand?

1:31:45🔗 Caller Okay.

1:31:45🔗 Adam All right, there, baby. Stay away from that penis, you all right?

1:31:48🔗 Caller Okay.

1:31:48🔗 Adam All right. Anal sacs. Now, that's the way to get pregnant. All right, there, brothers?

1:31:53🔗 Caller Okay.

1:31:53🔗 Adam All right. Let me check now. Is 1150? No, it's 1152. Straight up. That's eight minutes away from the top of the hour. 12 minutes on Amaze Rockolla, David Bowden and Dr. Drew. Michael. I mean, Michelle.

1:32:05🔗 Caller I guess.

1:32:05🔗 Adam Michelle, you're 28, yeah.

1:32:07🔗 Caller I'm wondering how nipple piercings will affect breastfeeding.

1:32:11🔗 Adam That doesn't affect the loxifer. The kid grows up with the mom, he's a freak, and that's where the real damage comes up. Mom, he's got a nipple ring. You understand? Okay. That's where the real detriment happens. I mean, think about that.

1:32:23🔗 Drew Breastfeeding is awkward and difficult enough already. It tends to make it a little more difficult. Not impossible.

1:32:29🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. Murad?

1:32:32🔗 Caller Muradad.

1:32:33🔗 Adam Muradad? Yeah. Muradad. What kind of name is that?

1:32:37🔗 Caller You sound like a retard.

1:32:38🔗 Adam All right. Well, that's it, there, Muradad. I'm putting you on hold. Yeah. You make fun of Ace Rockolla, Ace Rockolla, because that's the way it's played over the Love Line. That's right. It's 11, 52, and 57 seconds. That is seven minutes and three seconds away from the top of the hour straight up. We're going to take ourselves a little break, but don't you worry out there in Radio Line, because we're going to come back with the Fabulous Love Line right after this.

1:33:08🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:33:48🔗 Adam Well, there you go. Then we may end the show a little bit early.

1:33:52🔗 Drew Never happened.

1:33:53🔗 Adam Here's my plan. We normally end the show a minute and a half late every night. I figure that had to have added up over the years.

1:34:01🔗 Drew We could skip a couple of shows.

1:34:03🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying.

1:34:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:34:05🔗 Adam I mean, if you want to break it down and minus commercials and everything, what do you have?

1:34:10🔗 Drew A week.

1:34:10🔗 Adam We have like a hundred minutes in each show. Certainly, we could cover that in a few months.

1:34:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:34:17🔗 Adam Nice.

1:34:17🔗 Caller I need 40 seconds.

1:34:19🔗 Adam All right. I'm going to put a proposal together. We're going to work this thing out. You see? As a matter of fact, if they want, they can just take the minute and a half off of the end of every show and string that together, make as many shows as they can out of it.

1:34:32🔗 Drew Those are great minute and a half too. Yeah. Those are our finest moments.

1:34:35🔗 Adam Yeah, it really is. That's the part where I'm going. Blah blah blah. I want to thank engineer, blah blah blah. Dooley? Where'd Dooley go? All right.

1:34:50🔗 Caller Out of shut your mouth.

1:34:53🔗 Adam We're going to take an extended break and tomorrow night, we'll be back with Dynamite Hack. So until next time, this is Adam, P in the Sin Carolla, for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:06🔗 Caller Out of shut your mouth.

1:35:08🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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