0:55🔗
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.
1:10🔗
Adam
Yep, slight correction before we get started here. Dr. Bruce, who you all know and love. I was gonna say love, but then the word indifferent popped into my mind, but all right, you all know and love it. Dr. Bruce is also board certified. He's an addiction medicine specialist. He's also a specialist in emergency medicine and volunteers at the prison to remove tattoos from gang members.
1:51🔗
Adam
It was all one big misunderstanding. The whole F the LAPD on the neck and lockdown, all just one big long set of...
2:02🔗
Dr. Bruce
Listen, I'm working with a guy now that does a church service on weekends. We're doing some great stuff.
2:07🔗
Adam
Listen, Dr. Bruce is the most decent guy in the world. God-fearing, wife-fearing, who else do you fear?
2:16🔗
Adam
What is, do you think that's what brought you and Drew together, that sort of commonality of both being scared assless of your wives?
2:30🔗
Dr. Bruce
Definitely my wife. I won't speak for Susan, but Susan has no compunction about saying things about you out of school. I'll say that.
2:36🔗
Adam
No. We have a wide open relationship and she keeps Drew on a short leash. I wouldn't even call the leash. It's one of those twist ties they use on the sandwich bags. It's about the length of the leash she keeps him on. Very short.
2:55🔗
Dr. Bruce
I like to listen to her talk about him when he's sitting there. It's a different light.
2:59🔗
Yeah.
3:02🔗
Dr. Bruce
She's a good person. The thing with Drew is he's so regimented and organized. Yeah. It's hard. There's no such thing as a short leash because he just does his thing.
3:10🔗
Adam
Yeah. He sure does, but she calls and bust the balls and cracks the whip. Actually, she cracks whip into his balls.
3:25🔗
He is a world class dick.
3:29🔗
Adam
We got to play some boogies and shuffles and good Drew drops tonight. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Facts number 310-854-4455. I always get the story mixed up with how you know Drew. Now Dr. Marcel, the plastic surgeon, the pimp of the doctor world, was roommates with him or were you roommates with him or classmates with him?
3:58🔗
Dr. Bruce
I was doing, let's see, Clean and Crazy. That was it with Jed the Fish about 11 years ago. So I met him actually at K-Rock.
4:16🔗
Hello?
4:18🔗
Caller
Okay. My boyfriend, I've had three years now. He has scabs on his penis for the past nine months now. Yeah. I don't know what they are. They're like ring-like. He won't go into the doctor. He refuses.
4:38🔗
Caller
They're like ring-like. They look like little worms, not worms, but they're circular and they're scabby.
5:00🔗
Dr. Bruce
It could be a fungal infection. It could be something else. I love doing dermatology on radio. It's a great special.
5:25🔗
Adam
I know, but the point is he has things growing from his penis. Isn't that the beginning part of the call?
5:40🔗
Adam
Tell him that you're concerned and as well you should be about your health and that until he gets this thing figured out, there's going to be no more nookie.
5:48🔗
Caller
Yeah. I went to my doctor and she told me to put like jock itch cream on it and he doesn't even do that.
5:57🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, yeah, she's assuming it's a fungal infection because that's what they frequently look like. But I wouldn't assume anything and being that we don't know your boyfriend intimately.
6:43🔗
Adam
Yeah, you're a pretty uptight guy, a pretty religious guy. But a good guy, and as I've said about Dr. Bruce, a normal guy, whereas Dr. Drew's habits or hobbies, I should say, would be opera and opera. Those would be his hobbies. His hobbies are, Dr. Drew's hobbies would be talking into his dictaphone while he's driving, opera and getting his ass kicked around by his wife. Those would be his hobbies. And I have a lot of hobbies because I'm a guy. And guys should have hobbies. That's how you can tell who guys are. They have hobbies.
7:26🔗
Adam
But the point is, is I like Bruce because Bruce likes collecting junk, going to pond shops, tools, guitars, you know, games and nonsense. You're like a 13 year old with a paycheck and you're dangerous that way. But that's what I like about you. We can talk about, for instance, I can talk to Bruce about cars. Yeah, but. Can not talk to Drew about cars. Eric?
7:52🔗
Yes.
7:55🔗
I want to know if it causes chemical reaction. If I get off the Paxmo medicine.
8:03🔗
Not when I get off.
8:08🔗
Yes.
8:13🔗
Yes. I'm seeing my psychiatrist.
8:14🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay. It's not uncommon if you're going through therapy and you're doing better to be taken off an antidepressant. And if your doctor doesn't, when he thinks it's appropriate, you're not going to have withdrawal. You're not going to have any kind of...
8:26🔗
Am I going to be addicted if I get off the medicine?
8:29🔗
Dr. Bruce
No. It's not an addictive substance. And you're using this to increase the brain level of certain neurotransmitters that are thought to be deficient or low in depression.
8:42🔗
Right.
8:44🔗
So...
8:46🔗
Adam
I know that most of the... Here's when the trust stops with the doctors and the psychiatrists. When they start telling them stuff they don't want to hear, all of a sudden they don't trust them. You know what I'm saying?
8:58🔗
Adam
If a doctor says you're healthy as a horse, he's the world's greatest doctor. If the doctor tells him, hey, maybe you ought to put down the booze, all of a sudden the guy becomes a quack.
9:17🔗
Yeah.
9:18🔗
Nothing, actually.
9:26🔗
Caller
No, actually, I'm in sort of an empty room right now, so that's probably why I sound spooky. But anyway, I think really the question is, is my parents split up when I was six years old, and I really, really don't remember the experience. And to this day, both of my parents really won't explain why they got a divorce. And I guess I want to say, like, maybe two weeks ago, I started having these really, really wicked dreams, and they actually involved just me and my father and him basically doing the whole molesting thing. And I can't really, I can't really remember of any past experience, like, with him like that. And I know, I mean, he's not addicted to alcohol, and you know, he doesn't smoke pot, you know, he doesn't do drugs. So I mean, I don't really know exactly.
10:29🔗
Caller
I want to say, well, I had three of them, and they all occurred like within like one night after another. And like, I was about six years old when they got a divorce. And I think really that was when it like, that's like how old I was.
10:47🔗
Adam
I love the Loveline caller. She takes 20 minutes to answer the world's simplest question.
10:57🔗
Adam
Yeah. You know, it's kind of like who wants to be a millionaire every question I ask on this show, even if it's how much do you weigh or how old are you?
11:07🔗
Adam
Yeah. I'd like to use one of my lifelines on it, like a call. Buddy Phil, he lives in Poughkeepsie. Phil, how old am I? All right. Listen.
11:19🔗
Adam
All right. Just because you had a dream about it doesn't mean it happened. And just because your parents got divorced and aren't explaining to you sufficiently why they got the divorce does not mean it's because someone molested you.
11:39🔗
Caller
There's something, I mean, there's something that my mom, I think I know the reason why they got a divorce. I think it's because my mom had actually turned bisexual. And, like, I think that, I mean, that totally, like, affected my life because, I mean, it felt like, well, of course, she didn't love my dad anymore. You know what I mean? And, I mean, she was, like, leaving him for another woman, and, like, to this day, they're still together.
12:14🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. Let's just do a little Loveline recap here. My parents were divorced when I was 6. I've continually asked them why they were divorced, why they got divorced. They won't tell me. And I've never got to the bottom of it. Okay, now, pass forward three minutes. So, you don't know why your parents got divorced. Well, I have a suspicion. It's possibly because my mother met another person of the same sex, began a relationship with that person and is still with her today. Possibly. I'd say that may be, well, 50% of the reason why you may have gotten divorced is because your mother is with the same goddamn person she was with 10 years ago when she was with your dad, who happens to be a woman. Wouldn't you say that would be the reason?
13:10🔗
Adam
That and possibly, I'm guessing he was a domestic beer man and she was an imported gal, and that could have caused some of it. She could have been, he could have been country and she could have been western music.
13:43🔗
Caller
Well, I live in Chicago and he lives in Kansas, so I mean, I usually don't see him that much. Like, I see him over, like, the winter and over the summer, and that's really pretty much it.
13:53🔗
Well, certainly.
14:07🔗
Adam
Okay. I'm going to wrap this whole thing up in 15 seconds. Bruce, quiet down over there. Just, let's just assume your dad did nothing to you. All right. Let's work from that premise because I don't know what good it does for you to think he did. I don't think he did. I would assume he didn't. I'd say the bigger impact was your mom going lesbian, and you being raised by these two lesbians from age six doesn't mean you're damned to a life of insanity. You're 16, you've been through some stuff, you're having some dreams, don't buy into all of it, and you got to get some counseling maybe, read a book, go for a walk. All right? But don't make a big deal over this dream.
14:50🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay. She should talk to somebody professionally because there's a lot of information we didn't get out of that.
14:56🔗
Dr. Bruce
If they're recurrent, they're starting to disturb her sleep, then she should really talk to somebody about it.
15:05🔗
Dr. Bruce
Right. The whole edible thing occurs a lot earlier. This is at 15, that's a little unusual.
15:10🔗
Adam
And listen, it freaks a six-year-old girl out when mommy hooks up with another mommy and moves in like a cagney and lacy. Luke?
15:23🔗
Yeah.
15:33🔗
Adam
Yeah. Because you're a couple of years off, Luke. I can hear it in your voice. Yeah. You know what I love? We got 15-year-olds that sound like they've done time, like they've been driving a truck, like they drove a truck from Vietnam. And then we have 15-year-olds that sound like they're 11. Luke?
16:04🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's all right. You know, Dr. Drew says that people that are late bloomers live longer.
16:10🔗
Adam
Of course, that's just more time not to get laid, but yeah, and they tend to get in less trouble, because yeah.
16:16🔗
Dr. Bruce
Are you practicing or anticipating the event here? What's, why are you focusing on this?
16:22🔗
I was just wondering.
16:25🔗
Yeah.
16:26🔗
Adam
You are, but you'd like a more realistic sensation? Fill your hand with Cheez Whiz that's been microwaved for just a few seconds. Really gives that feeling, and put a piece of shank carpet, a little sample between your thumb and forefinger.
16:43🔗
Dr. Bruce
Can we do a medical disclaimer here, so that, I don't know. Somebody actually tries to.
16:47🔗
Adam
Luke, that's a dead-end street. Many a man before you has tried this, since the caveman days, when he used to. Hollow out trees and fill them with elephant lard.
16:59🔗
Dr. Bruce
Before the show, I predicted to the staff that we were gonna go the vegetable fruit route, that you were gonna take that route.
17:05🔗
Adam
Hey, Luke, you get a mayonnaise jar and you fill it with ground beef, and you microwave it. But just warm it up, so it's just a little warmer in room temperature.
17:16🔗
Dr. Bruce
Luke, listen to me. Do not take any of Adam's advice, because it sounds like you're thinking he may be serious. The thing to do is...
17:26🔗
Dr. Bruce
You sound like a normal kid. Do what you normally do, and don't try to get creative with reproducing the female body in an inanimate object.
17:53🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. All right, Luke, just close your eyes and drift back to those days of porn sites, and you'll be fine. You know what I love? Quiet down over there, Bruce. I was talking to a bunch of guys about this. There's something about the age for a man, 13, 14, 15. Luke's a little bit of a late bloomer at 15. He sounds a little more like 13. But the point is, is all these fantasies, x-ray glasses, becoming invisible and sneaking into the girls' locker room, if I could only make a woman in the lab, you know what I mean? A lot of those fantasies center around women who you give some magical pixie dust, and they fall asleep, and you're able to grab their boobs or something without them memorizing. I think they call that stuff roofies now. But you know what I'm talking about? Is there a 13, 14, 15 year old male on the planet that doesn't kind of have that fantasy about simulating a woman, creating a woman, making a woman?
18:57🔗
Dr. Bruce
But when we go out and start spending too much time in the internet, at this age, it's fine when it's fantasy, but it can start to become a drug, and when they start associating too much masturbation, too much dopamine being released, actually, if there are other unhealthy things going on in their life and the family, it can start to become a bit of an obsessive problem.
19:15🔗
Adam
But what do you think about this, Bruce? When we were coming up, back when, we didn't have a VCR. Your family didn't have a VCR. They didn't have cable.
19:34🔗
Adam
Cable was something that a guy at a circus walked on. That was what cable was. They didn't have Internet, obviously, and computers and all this stuff. Even the page porn stuff wasn't too graphic. He had a Playboy or a Penhouse, and there wasn't a whole lot going on with that. So you didn't go to the next step. I mean, that's where you were at. Right. Now, if you're looking at all sorts of bizarre, lewd acts being performed on video, on the internet, and all this kind of stuff, well, the thing about sexuality and about being young is you keep wanting to go to the next level with it. And the next level, from what's going on today, I mean, if you got gang bang 48 colossal combos, you know, mega cum shots on a video, and you're 15, and you got that thing in your VCR, then the next step is going to the morgue, digging up a corpse, and, you know, animating her with jumper cables.
20:39🔗
Dr. Bruce
In your own strange way, you're describing the pathology that occurs in some teenagers, and I was talking to one of the adolescent therapists at the Adolescent Medicine Department, and they were talking about MTV and some of the exposure to really suggestive sexual themes, and even that can be too much for early teens. So what you're describing is true. When you're exposed to something and you can have access.
21:02🔗
Adam
And how important is it for you to pick a network that I'm on when you make a negative example of the deterioration of society? Oh, did I mention a network? Oh, Jesus Christ.
21:16🔗
Dr. Bruce
No, but I mean, that's a good point, which you said, and it's absolutely true, and that's why if kids don't have supervision of responsible parents, they can get into real trouble.
21:25🔗
Adam
That's right. You should beat your kids with a Bible, like Bruce does. When we come back, we'll speak to John. He's worried about his heroin addict brother. He wants to know how to make him stop. Bruce will tell him how to make him stop. Maybe the old Bible beating.
21:40🔗
We about to get funky, yo. This is Loveline.
21:45🔗
1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.
22:22🔗
Adam
Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla. Dr. Bruce over there. May not sound like it, but he is qualified, kiddies.
22:35🔗
He's smart.
22:38🔗
Adam
Yeah, Daniel and Engineer Anderson got it for me for my little early birthday present. And birthday's coming up Saturday, you know.
22:48🔗
Happy birthday to you.
23:00🔗
Yeah.
23:03🔗
Caller
My brother is 27, and he's a heroin addict. And I don't know how to approach him on it.
23:37🔗
Dr. Bruce
Have you known him to have a problem with alcohol, any other behavioral problems in the past, or has this sort of just crept up out of nowhere?
23:43🔗
Caller
Well, I knew he drank a little bit, but anything like a normal person, not too much. But he would get drunk, like, not too often.
23:52🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay. Well, you know, there are lots of questions that could be asked, but before Adam shuts me off here, you can do what you can to raise the bottom to have him experience consequences. Obviously, somebody that's in into heroin, there's a certain progression of the disease, and if he's early into it where he's not having a lot of consequences, you know, it's obviously an extremely euphoric, a very addictive drug, and people will go to great lengths to continue to use and to avoid the consequences, and to avoid people that try to present reality to them. You don't want to get into the place where you get addicted to trying to save him. That doesn't work either, codependency route.
24:30🔗
Adam
So, what have we just told them? I know what you're doing and let's do something about it.
24:47🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay, are there people around, does he have a girlfriend or are there people that he has close relationships with?
24:55🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay, you know, there's the risk of talking to other people and doing an intervention, confronting him with, in a loving way saying, look, because we care about you, we want you to get help and we're not gonna continue to support your use in any way at all.
25:09🔗
Adam
Now, listen, older brother should be able to tell the younger brother whatever the F the older brother wants to tell him at any stage in life.
25:18🔗
Adam
There's an inherent fear that younger brothers have of their older brothers and it goes on throughout life.
25:29🔗
Adam
I'm sure. But listen, you gotta do what you've gotta do. Right. I mean, you gotta go up and confront him and if he can't hear it, he can't hear it. You gotta do your job.
25:38🔗
Dr. Bruce
It's a horribly dangerous thing and the recovery rate for IV heroin use is not the greatest. So consequences, if the guy got arrested and thrown in jail, I mean, it would be much better than the risk of dying every day that he's taken.
25:52🔗
Yes.
25:56🔗
Caller
Before I joined the military, I could have sex all the time. And I joined the military, started pumping full anthrax shots and it's like now I can't even get an erection. I was wondering if the anthrax shots had something to do with that.
26:07🔗
Adam
I had heard some stuff and I had heard about some military people refusing to take the anthrax vaccine or whatever you want to call it.
26:15🔗
Dr. Bruce
I don't know the relationship with erections. Maybe going in the military had something to do with that.
26:20🔗
Caller
No, I don't think so. I think it's just the shots or something they're giving me. I don't know what's in it, but doing something to me. My sex drive is just gone. I can't even maintain an erection anymore.
26:46🔗
Caller
They start out, they pump you full of it. Every two weeks, you have to go and get a shot, and then after that, you get a six-month booster.
26:58🔗
Caller
My sex drive is just gone, and it's the only thing I can think of, because it started about the same time I got the shot.
27:09🔗
Adam
Jesus. Yeah. You got a lawsuit going. I'm surprised you haven't commandeered like a F-14 and just gone nuts.
27:20🔗
Adam
Oh, all right. I was right in between. All right, well, F-16 and F-15. Yeah. Jump into one of those and go nuts.
27:31🔗
Caller
Yeah. They just deny everything. I mean, they're just trying to cover themselves. All right.
27:35🔗
Adam
But hey, listen, Rich, if you decide, let me explain the penis to you. The penis is very sensitive to hearsay and what it hears. If you say, I'm pumped full of this anthrax, and I'm a limp noodle, and the medics just lie to me, your penis will not respond.
27:58🔗
Caller
I've tried everything. I mean, I've had girls that are like, oh, it can't be right, and they try to work me up, and I can't even get worked up.
28:05🔗
Adam
All right. You need... What about police, Drew? What about seeing a physician and just explaining to them what the situation is? Running some tests, that kind of thing. I mean, don't connect it to the anthrax. Just tell them you're having a rectal difficulty and see what the deal is. You know what I'm saying, Rich?
28:37🔗
Dr. Bruce
Yes. You need to... Not the medic, see a physician and go over the... You're assuming it's an anthrax vaccine, but...
28:46🔗
Adam
I understand that, and maybe it is, but why don't you just assume it isn't and just go to somebody and talk to them about your rectal difficulty and see what they can help you with?
29:02🔗
Adam
I didn't hear what he said. Anderson, what did he say? Anderson? Oh, is he dumping something?
29:09🔗
Yeah.
29:19🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. I didn't know what he said. I was trying to figure out whether it was bad or not. It's the antirex vaccine causing that brain. Drew?
29:24🔗
Yeah.
29:25🔗
Caller
Yeah. What's up? I guess I've got a pretty big one for my age, and everybody at school always stares at my bulge.
29:48🔗
Well.
29:57🔗
Adam
Yeah. You're feeling objectified, like you're on display, like you're some piece of meat or some prize pig at the county fair. Yeah.
30:10🔗
Adam
So yeah, I believe he's got a pretty good package. Hey, Drew. Yeah. Who cares? Okay, you idiot. You wear something a little looser.
30:20🔗
Adam
Oh, shut up. It's a occupational. Don't even dignify that. I got a big package. I'm seriously concerned.
30:29🔗
Adam
He's calling the show so he can advertise his junk. Please, idiot. Listen, all you screwballs. If you do, let's say you do have a legitimate problem, and this goes for you women too who are talking. I've talked to more women who complain about guys checking them out physically who wear body stockings to work. You know what I mean? If you've got a big rack and a tight ass, and you don't like people looking at you, then why don't you wear something that's got a few yards of material in it? And they always go, and listen, all you with everything, well why should I change my blah blah blah blah blah? You know why you should? Because you're complaining about it constantly. If you're going to complain about something, then you should. If not, then shut the F up. This is for everybody.
31:19🔗
Adam
No, but listen, if you're some chick and you're like, I wear a tube top to work and I'm tired of guys looking at my jugs, and then I tell you, why don't you wear something loose fitting, and you go, why should I change what I'm wearing? Because you should because you're complaining. It's the same with this guy.
31:37🔗
Adam
I got 10 pounds of nuts, no one stares at my crotch because I dress like a human being. You can't get past your face, that's why.
31:47🔗
Dr. Bruce
A 13, 14, 15-year-old in early adolescence, being self-conscious is an occupational hazard. So that's the first thing, whether or not he's big or small, that's the way you feel. And so it's a different story. If he were 18, 20- Teenagers are different animals.
32:04🔗
Adam
Oh, who cares? Well, just wear something that's got it. What's in style now? And by the way, when I was- When I was in junior high, people were wearing pants that you painted on.
32:17🔗
Dr. Bruce
But didn't you feel like when you were 13, 14 years old, everybody was looking at you?
32:22🔗
Adam
Probably they were. They weren't looking at me. I knew they weren't looking at me. That was the problem.
32:35🔗
Dr. Bruce
Take your hat off. Let's talk about your hair. Why do you cover it? You always wear a hat. Why do you always wear a hat?
32:45🔗
Adam
No, I'm protecting my brain, my million-dollar brain. Sean, you're 23. Yeah. What is up?
32:58🔗
Caller
I've got a big problem. I guess it might be my problem, but then again, it might be their problem. Every time I have sex with my girlfriend or any of her friends, they all have orgasms within three minutes.
33:24🔗
Caller
The thing is, you know, they have an orgasm within two minutes, and I haven't even got off yet.
33:48🔗
Adam
Oh, my God. Imagine how fat and ugly those chicks are. All right, Sean, good luck to you there, buddy.
34:08🔗
Adam
You're not nailing enough of your girlfriend's friends. That's the problem. Does she have younger retarded sisters and, you know, junior high that you could possibly have sex with, too?
34:40🔗
Adam
This is the older cousin of the guy who calls with the package that's too big. Do you understand that?
34:49🔗
Adam
My problem is I got too big a package and the people in junior high are looking at me. And then the next caller is my problem is I bring too many women to orgasm too quickly. What do I do?
35:04🔗
Adam
You kill yourself. High percentage. Oh, screw all of you. Sylvia? Yeah? Listen, I'm not one of these kiss-ass hosts who sits there and looks at every listener's precious and unreplaceable. You're all replaceable. That's the way I look at you. You leave the... Stop listening. There'll be someone else right behind you. And if someone doesn't fill your shoes, who cares? One less idiot listening to this show. I could care less. I don't even know... I have no idea how many people listen to this show. I don't know what markets we're in. I have no idea. I don't know what the ratings are. I wouldn't know it.
35:46🔗
Caller
It's funny. Okay. I don't know if there's anything wrong with me, but lately when I've been having sex with my boyfriend, I haven't been able to orgasm.
35:57🔗
Caller
Yeah, we were. We've been together for about a year, and lately we've been having problems between us.
36:05🔗
Adam
I mean, I'm sorry. I mean, are you able to have orgasm? Were you able to have orgasm during intercourse?
36:24🔗
Dr. Bruce
Does it surprise you, I mean, what Adam initially hit on that was right on, that you're having problems in the relationship and it's affecting your sex life?
36:35🔗
Caller
That's what it is. And she was telling me that there was studies that have been done that when you felt an emotional bond with someone and then it wasn't there anymore because of problems that you may have been having that you can't feel like emotionally close to them when you're having sex.
36:52🔗
Dr. Bruce
Yeah, you don't have to do studies. I think that's yeah, that's absolutely right. And one of the reasons, you know, well, avoiding getting too sexually involved with somebody.
37:13🔗
Adam
Boring thought number one, boring thought number two, and boring thought number three, all collided in your mouth.
37:18🔗
Dr. Bruce
Boring question number one, how long were you dating before you had sex? One day, two days, or three days?
37:31🔗
Adam
The sooner you start dating, the sooner you start getting... How dare you? How dare you?
37:39🔗
Dr. Bruce
It's sabotage is the growth of the relationship. You get involved sexually early on like that.
37:56🔗
Adam
You want to be with other people sexually? Listen, Sylvia, here's what's happening. You guys are drifting apart. You're not so in love. That's it. You're closing down. Right. This is what women do. It's like, you know in the movies when they're shutting down something big, like a big warehouse or something, they get that whole bank of switches, boosh, boosh, boosh, like the cockpit of an airplane. Start shutting down all the engines when they're gliding in. They start, they just flip switches, switches, switches, switch after switch. Women are doing, do this in relationships. Guys don't really do it. They just, they get kicked out. They don't know what's going on. They're confused. Or they meet somebody else. They're immediately into them. But women start the shut down process early. And she's shutting down.
38:50🔗
Adam
All right. She's shutting down. She's thinking about other guys. Fine. You're 20. Natural. We're going to take ourselves a little break and we'll be back after this.
39:36🔗
Adam
It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there. The great Dr. Bruce. Whose hair doesn't look as red as it normally does. Are you coloring it? Blah, blah, blah. Are you doing something to it?
40:04🔗
I'd better run.
40:06🔗
Adam
Drew, please. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Bruce, filling in for Dr. Drew. He'll be back here Sunday night. Dr. Drew is in Boston for the 20th reunion of his college.
40:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's right. He's going to be the big conquering hero showing his face up at Amherst.
40:44🔗
Adam
Now, listen, I can't take a 15-minute limo ride with that Susan without getting into a big argument with her. I couldn't imagine going across country with her.
41:04🔗
Caller
I've been getting some problems lately. I've been kind of cutting up my arm, and I'm not a complete moron. I know it's not exactly a smart thing to do, but...
41:14🔗
Adam
No, I know. But listen, I'm not gonna jump on you for this, because it's a legitimate problem a lot of people have. I mean, people call this show, at least.
41:22🔗
Dr. Bruce
No, a lot of... It is a legitimate problem, and many people do have this problem, and it has nothing to do with being a moron. It probably has something to do with something that happened to you when you're a kid, or maybe even something you don't remember.
41:34🔗
Caller
I wasn't abused. My parents didn't hit me over the head with a crowbar or anything like that.
41:46🔗
Caller
Well, my dad, in my opinion, is an idiot, and he kind of left when I was like 12, but that's pretty late to have some...
41:54🔗
Dr. Bruce
Whatever there is, there's a lot of anger inside. That's one of the ways it can come out, but you're not alone in this. There's support groups. Therapy does help, and you need to see a professional, and you'll find that any therapist you see will be comfortable talking to you about it. We'll know about it, and we'll know what to do. Have you talked to anybody like that?
42:24🔗
Dr. Bruce
Do you have access to somebody that's a counselor or even a school counselor to start with?
42:46🔗
Dr. Bruce
Yeah, they've got great counseling services there. That's a place to start. And it has nothing to do with being dead or abnormal or...
42:58🔗
Adam
Alright, so go in there and ask for help, please. That's all. He called this show. Go over there and talk to them.
43:07🔗
Yeah?
43:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, I understand. Let me repeat that. Why don't you just stop taking whatever it is you're taking and not tell them?
44:02🔗
Dr. Bruce
Right. And you started taking the Paxil to get a buzz off of it? Or were you taking it to abuse it or because you're more depressed than the Wellbutrin could help you with or what was going on?
44:39🔗
Caller
No, they just, they were stealing other prescription drugs, I guess. I don't know what they were doing in there.
44:44🔗
Adam
All right. Well, you run with a pretty fast crowd there, Damon. Hey, Damien, why don't you just stop taking the Paxil and then you don't have to tell your parents. All right?
44:55🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, yeah, the whole thing is, can you get in to see this doctor sooner than that and are you comfortable telling him?
45:06🔗
Dr. Bruce
You know, it's just a matter of just stopping taking that and you're taking Wellbutrin.
45:13🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, probably nothing, but not knowing his case, it may destabilize his mood. You just don't know.
45:23🔗
Dr. Bruce
You shouldn't be, I mean it's absolutely something you shouldn't be mixing these things together, taking medications like that on your own. There's so many things that come up. First of all, your parents are not going to be as concerned with where you got it as with the fact that you're taking something that could be dangerous and you could tell your parents you borrowed it from somebody. Tell them whatever you want. If you're afraid of the consequences of your friends breaking into a pharmacy, which sounds pretty horrendous to me, but you're the most important thing. So Damien, talk to your parents and whatever you tell them about getting the stuff, stop taking it, let them know because you just don't want to stop taking it suddenly.
45:57🔗
Adam
Ultimately, it's their fault for naming them Damien. I mean, you're asking for a certain amount of trouble. You name a kid Damien.
46:06🔗
Adam
Even before the omen came out, Damien sounds like a troubled name. You know what I mean? You name your kid Stu Corolla.
46:15🔗
Dr. Bruce
I like when those little animals on that Toyota commercial and they're walking across the street and a car zooms by and they go, oh, it's just a Corolla. Whenever I see that, I.
46:26🔗
Adam
I wonder if other people think of me when they see the Corolla commercial. I drive by in a Corolla and read the tag and it doesn't make, it doesn't inspire anything. But who knows? You know, when I did, you know, you know, when you, on the Craig Kilborn show, they do those little tests, the little quiz that involves, sometimes involves your name if you have a name that sounds like something. I did Kilborn last week, but I did it like two years before that and I was sitting up there during the five questions and he said, last question, name a car, a Toyota compact, bestseller in America and I said, Tercel and he said nope and I went Camry. Nope.
47:19🔗
Adam
It was beet red. Thank you very much. We're going to take a little break when we come back. More of the beet red haired Dr. Bruce after this.
47:32🔗
Call Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191.
48:20🔗
Adam
Thank you. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there. Dr. Bruce is a film in for Dr. Drew tonight, who's over at Amherst, his 20th college reunion. He's going back like MacArthur came back to the Philippines, the conquering hero. Dr. Bruce is a board certified. He's a addiction medicine specialist as well, and he's an emergency medicine specialist, which to me just seems like the worst job in the world.
48:56🔗
Adam
I'll tell you, my hat's off to you, but it really seems like something only a handful of people could do or would want to do.
49:05🔗
Dr. Bruce
It's actually one of the most popular training programs in medicine right now. It's probably in the top two or three, because it has well-defined hours, and as opposed to the 30 years ago when anybody just filled in an emergency department, there's a defined body of knowledge.
49:30🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, night shifts there, well, it's a teaching program, though, so there's a little more flexibility. But the average emergency physician, there's a lot of 12-hour shifts, 6 p.m., 6 a.m. It's tough. Staying up at night is an occupational hazard. And the saying is, I'll catch up on my sleep the first year I'm dead. You hear people saying things like that. You know that that's not a very good philosophy of health.
49:53🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. People tell me, I get that, because I like to nap. I like to complain about napping and sleeping. And they give me that, you can sleep and you're dead. But, no, that's not it. Yeah. My thing is, how about I just nap on that right now?
50:11🔗
Dr. Bruce
Napping is very healthy, actually. And there are companies that are actually encouraging their employees to take short naps in the afternoons. Because they find the productivity is increased.
50:19🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. Unless you take it to an extreme, like Italy or Mexico, where you take a four and a half hour nap in the middle of every goddamn day. And then you wake up and you start drinking. That's not what they're talking about.
50:37🔗
Adam
Yeah. Listen, they do tests on those body rhythms and all that kind of stuff. And it turns out that if you can shut down, I think it's like two in the afternoon is when it's supposed to hit you. But if you, circadian rhythms or whatever it is, but if you can tune out for a half hour from 2 to 2.30 every day, you wake up a little more productive. Although to me it means I'd have to masturbate as well because it's a ritual. Dan?
51:23🔗
Dr. Bruce
Right. I was just going to say before Adam took the words out of my mouth, go ask the pharmacist, tell him you have a latex allergy and he will show you what else is available and there are other products because latex allergy is quite common.
51:37🔗
Adam
They also have a popular brand of latex rubber that is lined in felt that you can use, like a cigar box. Okay. All right, Dan. Okay, thanks. Hey, Dan. No problem there. There you go. Well, why do we have to tell him that? He's allergic to latex. He doesn't know there's polyurethane rubbers.
52:01🔗
Adam
Listen, but those things are around, right? Oh, yeah. Just go pick them up. You don't need a prescription or anything. Nicky?
52:07🔗
Yeah.
52:10🔗
Caller
Well, I've had this boyfriend for like two years, and I've been best friends with this girl named Jessie for like six years, and we've been attracted to each other, and recently we've been messing around, and I think I'm kind of falling in love with her, and I don't know what to do with my boyfriend.
52:26🔗
Caller
I don't think I'm a lesbian. I just, he doesn't like it. He doesn't want me to be like that with her, and I like men and women, so.
53:04🔗
Caller
Somebody, my mom, was babysitting. She used to mess around with me when I was smaller, when I was younger, when I was like nine.
53:25🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, but you're not okay with the situation now. And what are you going to do with the boyfriend? You can't add a third partner into a relationship that's a guaranteed destruction of the relationship, whether it's gay or straight or whatever the combination might be. And this may be related to what happened earlier on rather than something else. So can you see somebody now to work through this with, to see a counselor or, I mean, you know, your boyfriend finds out, if you're interested in somebody, it's not going to go away, it's not, you can't just turn off the feelings.
53:57🔗
Adam
You've had two years, 16 to 18, that's plenty long with a boyfriend. You got to break up with him.
54:14🔗
Adam
Yeah, I believe in long-term when one of the partners is not screwing around with somebody.
54:21🔗
Well, I don't know.
54:27🔗
Caller
No, not really. It's not like, you know, I don't think it's that serious between me and her, it's just that I don't want to have to hide it. But he won't go for it for some reason, he thinks it's disgusting.
54:38🔗
Adam
Listen, listen, Nikki, you're trying to get out of this relationship, believe me. So why don't you just be a big girl and get out of it, all right?
54:50🔗
Adam
All right, goofball, you don't need somebody all the time, you know, you can take a little break sometimes.
54:57🔗
Adam
Yeah. I know it sounds out of the question, but you're allowed to take a couple months off, you know, be on your own, do a little thinking, that kind of thing. Yeah. All right.
55:08🔗
Adam
Now, let me tell you, when you're bi, that's it, there's no downtime. There's go downtime, but there's no downtime. Yeah. I'm allowed to make a bad pun joke every once in a while. I mean, and listen, all you bi people, please, when you tell your partner I'm bi going into the relationship, you're saying you're going to cheat. You absolutely are. Otherwise, why bring it up? Who are you kidding with that nonsense? That is ridiculous, all that bi stuff.
55:54🔗
Adam
Bi is gay. Bi is a gay with a publicist, I like to say. When you say you're bi, you're saying bi-bi to heterosexuality and hello to homo. That's what I say.
56:24🔗
What?
56:26🔗
Adam
He takes cramps off roofs. Well, he probably does. Fundamentally, I don't have a problem with it all. It's just that you got to use the word crap. You can't use the word ass on the radio. That's all. Well, I'm trying to think if I ever took a dump off a roof.
56:45🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, maybe I'd break my fall if I landed in it, though. You ever think about that?
56:55🔗
Yeah.
57:03🔗
Caller
I don't exactly sleep around. I just kind of wanted to know like all my friends have been wanting me to call in. I guess I don't know if I'm like a rebel or whatever revolting from the family, but I guess I'm pretty easygoing as far as it is with guys. I mean, I like to have fun and I'm not really into like the relationship thing.
57:22🔗
Caller
And I've never been abused, anything like that. And I guess my friends want to know why. I'm just like, I'm very open with guys. I don't have problems doing a lot of things.
57:44🔗
Caller
And I'm not, I mean, I don't sleep around or anything like that. I don't mean, I guess you could say, I guess I give a lot of head.
57:55🔗
Caller
Classy. But I mean, I don't, I mean, it's something I've never really understood why I'm so like willing to do these things. And I don't like the whole like long term relationship deal. I don't like, I've only had one serious boyfriend and really nothing happened with that. I'm more of like the guys that I hang out with are like kind of like a hookup thing. You know what I mean?
58:26🔗
Caller
Probably. I mean, maybe like 12. I mean, it's not that many, but I mean, for the girls my age that I'm talking to, but half of them haven't even done that.
58:37🔗
Dr. Bruce
What? Now, how did you feel when in the White House news there, they were talking about oral sex as grounds, same thing as adultery or really the same thing as having sex?
58:48🔗
Caller
I believe that as far as being like married and stuff like that. I mean, I do definitely think that that's cheating on someone, and I don't-
58:55🔗
Dr. Bruce
So you recognize a fairly significant level of intimacy when you're performing oral sex on someone?
59:01🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay, so it sounds like have a concern that maybe you have a problem with a boundary there in terms of you don't have, yeah.
59:11🔗
Dr. Bruce
Yeah, because that, I mean, that, you know, it is a significant interaction with somebody on a very intimate level, and it doesn't sound like you have, it sounds like you have the feeling that this isn't right and that there's something that's causing this to be a problem for you, so-
59:28🔗
Caller
Right, and I don't know, I mean, back to the thing, I don't know if they say it, like, whatever my little, like, profile, whatever, is, like, the masturbation thing, like, for a girl, I don't even know if that's normal, I mean, I masturbate a lot for a girl.
59:45🔗
Dr. Bruce
Yeah, and for some people that have issues with, it doesn't sound, well, it sounds like you need to talk to somebody, because there are many directions we could go with this, and there are a lot of questions I'd like to ask you, but I don't think Adam would-
1:00:03🔗
Dr. Bruce
But, Lauren, you sound like you're real communicative. It sounds like you really are searching for answers, and you want to get some help. I think you need to talk to somebody, and it can get to the point where you have what's considered a sexual addiction, and you can get addicted to your own dopamine, your own pleasure hormones, and you can start to escape to a place where pleasuring yourself is a place you go where it always feels good, and you're escaping from something else. So there are a lot of things to explore here.
1:00:43🔗
Dr. Bruce
School counselor, do you have a gynecologist? You must have had a gynecologic exam at some point, a pelvic exam. Are you comfortable with that doctor? A lady doctor. Somebody who's either a doctor that deals with teenagers that does adolescent medicine or a gynecologist or a school counselor that you're comfortable with. It sounds like maybe talking to a woman would be more comfortable, but don't underestimate the ability of somebody.
1:01:08🔗
Adam
Aren't all female doctors East Indian? You know what I mean? Don't have any white ones, do they? What's up with white chicks? They're not smart enough to be doctors? Aren't they all Indians? Well, yeah.
1:01:25🔗
Dr. Bruce
It reminds me of the time when No Doubt was here and you had a comment about Indians. Well, you got in a lot of trouble that time. So why do you pursue these racially tainted comments that are...
1:01:47🔗
Adam
Listen, all you retards who don't admit there's any difference between any cultures or that certain cultures don't have a greater capacity for certain things. You're sadly mistaken. Just look around. Now, you work with a lot of Eastern Indian doctors, right? Female. Female. Sure.
1:02:27🔗
Adam
I'm just saying it's harder to talk about these things with them because they come from a different culture. They don't understand it.
1:02:38🔗
Caller
Well, I've been in kind of in the past couple weeks, I've been inhaling computer air.
1:02:49🔗
Dr. Bruce
Anything like that, there's no difference between inhaling that, spray paint, gasoline, any volatile solvent type substance is really bad. It's really addictive.
1:03:06🔗
Dr. Bruce
Kids that inhale gasoline early on or spray paint have a much higher incidence of alcoholism and drug addiction later on. I mean, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out.
1:03:13🔗
Adam
Listen, son of Tardo, if you're so desperate and so effed up that you're 14 and you're sucking on a can of quick start from the automotive section of the Pep Boys, because you're trying to get a little ether buzz going, I'd say you're heading down a road to addiction. I'm not surprised that that person ends up being an alcoholic, but I don't think the hoofing is what got him onto the alcohol. It's the fact they were going to, they had a predetermined date with alcoholism already. All right.
1:03:47🔗
Dr. Bruce
So this guy's 19, though. You wonder where he's been the last five or six years drinking or... All right. I had a kid whose drug of choice was whiteout fluid, and that was it. And we detoxed him. I mean, there wasn't much detox.
1:04:02🔗
Dr. Bruce
No. I mean, there are various ways people that abuse inhalants have special ways...
1:04:10🔗
Dr. Bruce
He was just inhaling it. I think they've changed the formula so that it's not quite the same. But anyway, so this kid, he went through a 30-day program, and his slippery place wasn't a bar. It wasn't behind the school. It was office supply area of the store.
1:04:30🔗
Dr. Bruce
Any history of addictions, alcoholism, in yourself or your family? Parents, grandparents?
1:04:41🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay, let me just cut to the chase. A computer cleaner, whatever solvent it is you're inhaling, it's just like taking any other drug. It's like if it were heroin, alcohol, it really doesn't matter. And if you feel like you're needing to do that, you can get addicted to something the first time you use it. So if it's something that makes you feel good, if it whatever it's doing for you, how to stop you got it. If you're feeling like having a problem stopping, you got to talk to somebody that works with people with addictions.
1:05:09🔗
Adam
What about going to one of some sort of a CA meeting, like computer cleaners anonymous or something.
1:05:25🔗
Dr. Bruce
AA is fine, but I mean I'm not sure where he's at with this. If he could talk to a counselor or a therapist.
1:05:36🔗
Caller
Well, I recently had sex with my manager. I work at Burger King and she's a little bit older than me. And she's married and I've been feeling pretty guilty about it lately. I was just wondering how I should approach her husband. I want to come clean, kind of get it off my conscience.
1:05:55🔗
Caller
I don't know, but I just can't. I don't think I can live with it anymore. I'm feeling pretty guilty.
1:06:19🔗
Caller
Yeah, we were both working late. We were closing. There was one other person working with us and he was outside smoking. She came on to me, just actually started rubbing herself up against me. We just went back into the bathroom.
1:06:33🔗
Adam
Shush, I'm still in the moment here. Hey, what's up with you guys and your overcapacity for the ketchup use over there? You guys go pretty heavy on the ketchup on those burgers over at Burger King.
1:06:51🔗
Adam
But you go nuts with the goddamn ketchup over there. It's like you're trying to get rid of the stuff. Easy.
1:07:01🔗
Adam
It's nice to have the flavor of it, but you don't want the panties swimming in the stuff. It gets all over the lettuce and the onion and things start wilting and it soaks into the bun and the bun gets doughy.
1:07:20🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. It's beautiful country over there. It is. Now, but listen, Chris, your instinct to tell her husband is a very bad instinct.
1:07:36🔗
Adam
It's a good instinct that you feel some guilt and some remorse and that you may be playing a part in breaking up some relationship or something like that. But practically telling him, A, could lead to some real problems. People have been killed over last. Absolutely. And B, you're essentially throwing a rock at a beehive where they're all dormant. And they may just come out and chase you into the lake like the hams bear. So here's my point. You're not interested in her? Nope. Good. Let it go.
1:08:12🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, the sexual harassment sound... I mean, this is his boss. So we don't want to go down that road.
1:08:18🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, you have your own moral value system and you have guilt. How do you normally deal with guilt?
1:08:35🔗
Dr. Bruce
If it's something to do with God or it's not, there are ways to acknowledge that you've done something wrong. Making amends does not always mean going to that person. Even in 12-step programs, you have to look at the consequences of making amends. It sounds like you feel...
1:08:49🔗
Adam
I'll tell you a good place to start with the ketchup. Stop putting so much ketchup on it. There's a way you could repay society.
1:08:56🔗
Dr. Bruce
Why don't you send Adam a whopper with no ketchup through the mail and he will get it here and I'll see to it that he eats it.
1:09:04🔗
Adam
I will do it. Hey, and Chris, what's up with you? You're 20 and you got a boss over at the Burger King?
1:09:12🔗
Adam
It's a bad sign when you're into your 20s and you got a boss over there at the Burger King.
1:09:33🔗
Adam
All right, just hurry up and graduate and get the hell out of there. All right. Listen, do not bring anything up to her husband. Have you ever met her husband?
1:09:59🔗
Adam
Sharon? Yeah. We're going to take a little break here, but you're 14? Yeah. You lost your virginity? When was that?
1:10:08🔗
Adam
I see. How old was the guy? Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Nothing wrong with a more mature guy who dropped out of high school eight years ago having sex with you.
1:10:19🔗
Dr. Bruce
Nothing wrong with a child molester with a sexually transmitted disease. Look, we want to talk to you, so stay on the line because Adam is going to take a break.
1:11:11🔗
Adam
It is The Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there, filling in for Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. I want to thank Mickey Wartell, who sent me a lovely book, a birthday present, a little bit of an early birthday present. That's a book called Sex for One, The Joy of Self-Loving. It's illustrated, and I was just perusing the pages here and becoming nauseated by these horrible drawings of people doing things to themselves with vibrators and the like. Listen, y'all, don't need to read a book on what to do with the junk on my own. I really don't. You're writing a book about how to satisfy yourself when you're masturbating. It's like, let me tell you where this book's going to come in handy. How many pages? Oh, no. How many pages we got here? We got a hundred and sixty, a hundred and seventy-seven pages. Good. That means I can whack off a hundred and seventy-seven times if I tear out each page and use it as a bib. That is as much use as I'm going to get out of this book. You might as well write a book on a breaking wind or growing your fingernails.
1:12:36🔗
Adam
No, I appreciate Mickey for sending me the book and it's the thought that counts, but listen, the day I read a book on how to whack off, the day I kill myself.
1:12:51🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's like asking Bruce Lee to come join your new Karate Academy so you can show them the ropes, you know.
1:13:04🔗
Adam
Yeah, offhand is a good way to put it. Shan, I'm fascinated that people will even write a ridiculous book like this.
1:13:15🔗
Adam
As you know, I believe reading poisons the mind. I read nothing. I barely know how to read. I don't enjoy it at all. And I would certainly not read a book on masturbation. And again, it's amazing. And all those books on like Tantric Sex and how to bring your part and all that stuff. It's just such a load of crap. Please stop writing books on that nonsense.
1:13:41🔗
Adam
Thank you. You have. Well, as I told Drew last week, it takes a great man to admit when he's great. Sharon, you're 14. What's up?
1:13:58🔗
Adam
Good times. And you are, I'm hoping you were 14 at the time. You weren't 13, were you?
1:14:10🔗
Caller
Well, I kind of saw him on and off like every weekend for like a month and then we did it like after that.
1:14:38🔗
Caller
Um, my older sister's kind of whacked out, and my dad lives in Vegas. I don't really see him all that much.
1:14:44🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay, look, I mean, it's like an emergency thing. You got to get checked out right away, because the, you know...
1:14:50🔗
Caller
Well, we used a condom. We did safe and everything, so I don't know what I could have.
1:14:54🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, I, you know, I hate to tell you the condoms, they can break, they can leak. If you have... If it hurts to pee, it sounds like you have a urinary tract infection.
1:15:18🔗
Dr. Bruce
And here's the thing. By the book, this may not strike you as being true, but you're 14, he's 22, you've been molested basically. Okay.
1:15:35🔗
Dr. Bruce
And this guy's brain is shriveled, also. I mean, this guy is a predator, and there are reasons for there being laws, and you need to be protected from people like that. That's what your parents are supposed to be doing.
1:15:47🔗
Adam
All right, listen, Sharon, you gotta go get checked out. Probably urinary tract infection, but you gotta get checked out, and calm yourself down just a little bit, would you, hot pants?
1:16:05🔗
Caller
I felt hot like a lot, and I've been bleeding out of my butt for, I don't know, a week.
1:16:13🔗
Adam
You've been bleeding out of your butt? Hey, Sharon? Yeah. What's that have to do with smoking the pot though?
1:16:22🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, she wonders if it does have something to do with it. Okay, how long have you been smoking pot?
1:16:34🔗
Adam
I'd love to give your dad a good ass-kicking. I really would. Oh. What a horrible, wretched job he's done as a father.
1:16:58🔗
Caller
No. We had a huge fight and there was a big issue over Christmas and I went to the hospital and we don't really talk at all.
1:17:15🔗
Adam
Well, that's a nice stocking stuffer. You're going to have to get back into something here, Sharon. You know what I'm saying? First, you got to go get a physical. I mean, you got to get your ass looked at and you got to listen. As long as they're down at the vagina, if they just drop another inch and a half, they're right at the ass, they take care of that.
1:17:40🔗
Dr. Bruce
OK. You don't need parental consent. You need to get checked out. Go there. These are people that do this every day. They're good at holding your hand, telling you exactly what's going on and making it as comfortable as possible. And you need to get checked out. You don't know what exactly you contracted, if you contracted anything. But it's not normal to have pain anywhere down there. And as far as blood in your stool or blood coming from your rectum, you have to have that checked out, too. I mean, it's very unlikely it's cancer, hemorrhoids, fissures. There are many things that can cause it. But you have to have it looked into. And a schoolteacher, a minister.
1:18:16🔗
Dr. Bruce
Yeah. If you don't have a parent, you're out there. You don't have a parent that's a responsible parent. And to have an adult that has good boundaries and that has a healthy life themselves, that you can get to know and talk to about things like this for any teenager that has that kind of a home life, it can save you a lot of grief.
1:18:34🔗
Adam
I'm Pray Rosie Adopzer. That's where I'm at. And listen, let me send a quick message to all you pathetic fathers out there who sire a couple of kids and then move out of town and start your new life with your new wife and your new family that you'll eventually screw up sooner than later too. Here's basically what you leave behind. You leave behind a dummy that gets humped or raped by 22-year-old punk rockers and have passed around parties like a joint at a Doobie Brothers reunion concert. You cowards make me sick.
1:19:17🔗
Adam
Listen, all you brain dead retards that are banging around on these 14-year-old victims at age 22, I know it seems like easy pickings for you, but like I said, wouldn't it just be easier to head down the morgue and get yourself someone who's not going to put up a fight? Or how about the mental institution? You can find someone who cracked their head on the coping of a pool and is brain dead, and just pull the respirator out and shove your red dick in there every once in a while. Pathetic.
1:19:49🔗
Adam
Anderson, don't worry about it. We're in the safe harbor. I'm allowed to say that. You guys make me sick, and really what you're doing is you're victimizing victims. You're taking people that are already down and you're getting a little lower on. You're getting them a little lower. It's like you're taking a poor person and you're cheating them out of money.
1:20:08🔗
Adam
I hope you feel real good about it. Well, I wish there was a God so they'd punish people like this. I really do. Dad and all the victimizers who come around after this. But it's mainly the dad that I'm PO'd at. Just stop having kids for Christ's sake. And if you do have them, be man enough to take care of them, you pussies. Micah?
1:20:41🔗
Caller
Uh, I can't even explain it. Like, like my cousin, his is big and everything, and he's got hair growing, and he's only like a couple months older than me, and I got like no hair down there, and it's like really small and everything.
1:21:02🔗
Dr. Bruce
No, listen, what makes, what makes your penis grow, the hair grow down there, it's hormones, okay? And the hormones kick in at different ages for different kids. We can find a 14 year old, a 15 year old that's in the same position you are. It's a matter of different people have different bodies and the hormones are different. And it's frustrating, even embarrassing when you got to go in the locker room and this guy is starting to develop. And one of the first things in males that starts to develop when the hormones start flowing, the genitalia gets a little larger and it's sort of intimidating for somebody like Micah. But it will grow. And I guarantee you, within a year, you're going to have some hair down there and you will have a solution to this problem. Yeah.
1:21:50🔗
Adam
His pubes were like candles on a birthday cake. At 15, he had 15. At 19, he had 19 hairs, right? Am I right?
1:21:58🔗
Dr. Bruce
No, no, no. It was exponential growth of the hair down there. Let me tell you. You're wasting it on your head, buddy. You probably, I don't want to know what's going on down below.
1:22:08🔗
Adam
You probably got one of those big orange bozo patches. There's nothing more bizarre than seeing a true redhead downstairs, especially when it gets in that sort of a day glow orange, that novelty orange hair down there. That's funny. You know what's funny about the redheads, Bruce? Bruce is a redhead over there. Thank God the hair on his head is shifting to a slightly more auburn red instead of that life preserver orange that he had earlier.
1:22:40🔗
Adam
I really do. But seriously, Bruce, back me up on this. A lot of guys especially have the red hair down. Here's what I want to say.
1:22:54🔗
Adam
People that are blonde haired, when you talk about the hair downstairs, it's usually a little darker and not quite as blonde as the hair on their head. Thank you. You agree with that?
1:23:09🔗
Adam
Do you know what I'm talking about? Would you say that's a true statement? Yes, you would.
1:23:18🔗
Adam
Okay. But people who are redheaded on top, on the head, down there, it's novelty orange down there. It is clown orange. You know what I mean? It is way over the top. It's not darker. It's brighter. Is that how you are?
1:23:41🔗
Dr. Bruce
Now, one of the few things I remember you saying that I thought was funny was maybe a year ago or so, something about a gecko.
1:23:47🔗
Dr. Bruce
Something about a gecko in the forest or the pubic area of your butt or something like that. It was just a hilarious comment. Now, I still wonder what was with the animal life living in your pubic forest.
1:24:02🔗
Dr. Bruce
Hey, somebody told me you were making fun of me on the air last week. I just have to, I'm just curious, you know, because I've missed the show one or two days.
1:24:21🔗
Adam
Hey, buddy of mine has bought a helicopter. He's taken off out of Van Nuys in about 45 minutes. I want to know if you want to go check out San Fernando Valley with me.
1:24:51🔗
Caller
Okay. Well, I started using Ecstasy about two months ago, and I've been doing it every weekend. I do like one pill a weekend, right? Yeah. Well, at the raves, we use Icy Hot on our bodies, and it feels really, really good. And ever since then, I've had this strange kind of a, I've been wanting to use Icy Hot as like a sexual lubricant, like really bad.
1:25:15🔗
Caller
And I wanted to know if something, something harmful could happen there, like a sort of infection.
1:25:26🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. We got to take ourselves a little break. It's funny. She said she's calling from Phoenix. I was watching, I was watching the dating game like two days ago, and the couple that won, they sent to Tucson. And I thought, why don't you just send them a pistol and tell them to kill themselves. Imagine you win a game show, you send you to Tucson.
1:25:53🔗
Adam
Oh, that's a big dust bowl. I mean, can you imagine? You're sending to Tucson? Where do you gotta live that being sent to Tucson is a treat? You gotta live in a refrigerator box on the surface of the sun. What kind of asshole you gotta be in?
1:26:15🔗
Dr. Bruce
GIO Isn't that where Linda McCartney wanted to go? Isn't that where she went to die?
1:26:22🔗
Adam
GIO Listen, if they're doing the newlywed game in Beirut, then I can see you sending them to Tucson. But when you're filming it out here in Southern California, what the hell do you need to go to Tucson for?
1:27:15🔗
Adam
Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Dr. Bruce, pardon me, over there. Dr. Drew is away. It is a college reunion at Amherst in Boston. Bruce, where did you go to college?
1:27:45🔗
Dr. Bruce
Hey, for the guys that go there, it's their life. What can I say? You didn't finish number six here.
1:27:54🔗
Dr. Bruce
It's a university. What do you want? You'd be a big fish in a little pond or a little fish in a big pond.
1:28:07🔗
Dr. Bruce
After being here, I'm sure that I'll be disowned from any alumni list that school can produce.
1:28:14🔗
Dr. Bruce
I was doing an elective at NYU in medical school, and I told them where I went, and they said, oh, yes, that's in northern Mexico, isn't it? The bigotry of the East Coast. Anything that sounds like it has a Spanish name.
1:28:35🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's something that was my major. Who's going to know? You get one of those alumni license plate frames, you wear a sweatshirt every once in a while, people buy into it. They don't want to see a degree.
1:29:29🔗
Caller
No, I also, yeah, I had a few questions about that too. Like exactly how does ecstasy affect you?
1:29:34🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay, it's methylene-dioxy methamphetamine. So it has characteristics of methamphetamine. If you take an overdose, for instance, of ecstasy, it's just like overdosing on speed. It has, the other part of the molecule goes to the places where hallucinogens work in your brain, which is more the serotonin system. And that's where you start running into problems and what they're finding now is there are probably some permanent effects in the brain, even worse than what you'd expect to get from something like speed. So people feel that it's something they don't get addicted to, which I've had people that have become extremely addicted to ecstasy.
1:30:12🔗
Dr. Bruce
Yeah, and then there is the issue of the damage that can occur and there was a recent report about IQ drop after even a single usage or cognitive impairment.
1:30:26🔗
Adam
And listen, you're thinking about using a Ben Gay as essentially a lubricant, sexual lubricant. You can't afford to lose any IQ points, sister.
1:30:36🔗
Adam
Oh, my God. You've bottomed out IQ-wise. You lose any more IQ, you're going to be in the negatives.
1:30:43🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay, things that you can maybe put on your skin. When you talk about the- All right, hold on.
1:30:48🔗
Adam
Quiet down over there, Bruce. I've had an ass full of you, didn't I? Listen, Jay, obviously, you can't put this stuff up here. Are you kidding me? That is the worst idea I've heard all year. All right. I understand that. But even just the fact that you're entertaining, that notion is scary to me and means your brain is not functioning normally. Number two, what goes on at these raves? You drop the axe and then you rub this icy hot all over you while the music pumps?
1:31:16🔗
Caller
Well, your senses are totally heightened. So you rub baby powder on yourself and icy hot and you inhale thick because you feel it going down.
1:31:31🔗
Caller
No, no, never. I don't know exactly what could happen from having sex on Ecstasy, but I've heard it could have some negative outcomes and I haven't even tried. Do you have any ideas there either? Because I've kind of been wondering about that.
1:31:41🔗
Adam
Wow. Hey, Totes, you're 17. You couldn't read a Nancy Drew mystery, a doodle on a peachy folder and call the day.
1:31:52🔗
Caller
Oh, yeah, definitely. Definitely. Yeah, good. I've been sober for about two years and I came across Ecstasy. I do it recreationally and I know that could turn into something more.
1:32:06🔗
Dr. Bruce
So that's not a possibility. You've picked one of the worst possible. Well, there's no worst drug.
1:32:18🔗
Dr. Bruce
Oh, okay. The other thing is your mucous membranes, your vaginal mucosa, you start putting chemicals.
1:32:39🔗
Caller
Last couple of months, there was a big tragedy at my school and one of our really close friends died.
1:32:50🔗
Caller
No, not at school. It happened and he was one of our really close friends and it was really scary. But I went through this thing where I didn't eat for a good couple months. I mean, I ate, but not all the time. And it wasn't a big thought in my mind. But since everybody's been recovering and everything and everybody's.
1:33:27🔗
Dr. Bruce
OK. Usually they bring in crisis counselors right away. And I'm not sure because.
1:33:33🔗
Adam
Who do they bring in? Chef Boyardee to crisis counselor? Dr. Chef Boyardee is here. Children, we like to speak to you. All right. Listen, quiet down. We got to take ourselves a break. Alex.
1:33:47🔗
Adam
She's not throwing up. She's obsessing over it. And I'm saying, take control of it before it spins out and just start cutting back. And as you cut back.
1:34:06🔗
Dr. Bruce
Yeah. This is a problem. And it's probably related to what happened. Just set it off.
1:34:56🔗
Adam
Oh, shush, you. Another delightful evening, and a job well done by Dr. Bruce. As you know, I never hesitate to bust your balls when you F up on this show, but you're very solid tonight.
1:35:11🔗
Adam
And those of you who have never heard Dr. Bruce before and are confused by the solid comment should have heard him before. That's all I'm saying. You came in here. You did a wonderful job. And it only gets better with you. So you're inflating my ego. No, you deserve it. Thank you. We do want to thank you for coming in. I want to thank Danielle, the beautiful and confident Danielle for answering the phones, whipping up the coffee, keeping everyone in line, and generally just doing a great job here.
1:35:49🔗
Adam
Anderson. And Engineer Anderson for pushing all of the buttons, including mine, once in a while, and doing a great job all week. So, until next time, this is Adam Corolla for the great Dr. Bruce. Saying mahalo. Yeah, I remember when my dad got me my first butt plug.