1:14🔗AdamThere's my mic. All those wasted syllables saying, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and Dixon medicine specialist. Tonight from The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Dicky Barrett and Joe Gittleman are both here and we just couldn't be happier to see the lads. They're gonna be, before we get going, on the Leno Show, the Tonight Show, tomorrow night. That would be Thursday night. So look for them on that. And the CD, which I now have in my hand, pay attention, what is the release date on this?
2:00🔗AdamHow come I don't have one then? Last time you were on the show, it hadn't come out, right?
2:05🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYeah, it was before May 2nd. Then on May 2nd it came out and now it's after May 2nd.
2:12🔗AdamWhat the hell am I thinking then? All right, well anyway, it's now officially out. You heard it here, kiddies, but listen to the rest of the radio show before you run over to the record store to get in line.
2:24🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesDon't bother waiting, just head on out.
2:26🔗AdamHead on out? Yeah. All right, well listen.
2:28🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWalk man, wear your walk man.
2:29🔗AdamListen in the car. The Bosstones have a nice big fat tour coming up and I'm going to give you some of those dates and some of our affiliates where they'll be coming to a town near you. If you're out here in Los Angeles, they're going to be at the Roxy tomorrow. So, you're doing Leno and then you're going to the Roxy. Is that true?
2:50🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesAnd then we'll appear on Leno. Through the magic of television.
2:56🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesDon't break down that wall, Adam.
2:57🔗AdamNow, you know, it was really nice. Dicky called me yesterday at the office, I think, and made a very nice offering, which is I Do Something With Him in the band on Leno, but he pitched it to the people over there and they promptly shot it down.
3:17🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesI didn't want to tell Adam why. They hate him, don't they? They used terms like not funny, we don't get him. And they also said, you're obnoxious enough. We don't need the two of you in there.
3:29🔗AdamNo, seriously, how did the pitch go? What did they say?
3:32🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesThe pitch, I guess, went through our management.
3:36🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesThe idea was that at the end of, we finished a song and I kind of disappear off into the audience and then you come back and you're wearing the exact same clothes and Jay says, great job guys and then all of a sudden it's just you for no other reason than I thought it would be funny and you make me laugh and when I watch the tape later, I'd pee my pants.
3:56🔗AdamI thought I was tremendously flattered that Dicky and the boys would make that overture.
4:02🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesBut did you think it would be funny?
4:04🔗AdamI didn't care. I was so excited to potentially get on the Leno.
4:11🔗DrewLet's have an experiment. You can find out what the Leno issue is about. They can go back and propose Jimmy, see how they take that. Go back and propose me, see how they take that.
4:22🔗DrewYou can find out, you know, if they let somebody through, then you find out what the problem is.
4:26🔗AdamDrew, you're bitter. It's a good thing you pay that publicist $1,500 a month, isn't it? How many times you done the Leno? But the Bosstones have done the Tonight Show a handful of times, right?
4:39🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWe've never been on that show. Really? On the Carson Show years ago. Yeah, sure.
4:48🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWow, back when we were, it was more of a kind of a comedy troupe.
4:52🔗AdamYou guys didn't do Leno with the success of the last CD? I mean, all those sold, the tours, all that stuff? Never did it?
5:02🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWe got the same publicist as Drew.
5:06🔗DrewHey, speaking of publicists and affiliates, I want to tell you something. You know how Live 105 in San Francisco moved us to midnight to 2 a.m.? Yeah. They now have a site on their website where you can vote to move it back to 10 to midnight.
5:18🔗DrewIt's www.live105.com. Log on to that, tell them you want it back, and maybe it'll happen.
5:26🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesI want it during drive time.
5:28🔗AdamYeah. What about... I want it whenever the most kids are listening. When I say kids, I don't mean high school kids. I mean preschoolers. You know what I mean? I mean kids, almost infants, people that can't drive themselves, who crap themselves, those kinds of kids.
5:44🔗DrewThis email suggests that perhaps a chorus of Who Knows What Goes On in the Old Vagina would convince them.
5:50🔗AdamAll right. Should I bust into that? Who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina, the old vagina. I know what goes on in the old vagina. That's why I host the show. Yeah, I just made that up one night, but it sounded like the kind of actually my grandfather taught that one to me.
6:10🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesIt's an old spiritual.
7:59🔗AdamYou better hope he's not drunk when he gets that phone bill.
8:02🔗DrewThe thing that the basically the way you need to evaluate something like this is, is there a family history of addiction? Number one. And two, are you having consequences? And is this progressing?
8:11🔗CallerYeah. Like last year, I had a problem with it, too. And the phone bill is like a thousand bucks.
8:20🔗AdamYeah, that'll do it. Boy, I'll tell you, when it comes to this kind of stuff, when you're actually two and a half hours on the phone equals six hours of flipping burgers or something, you straighten up pretty quick. Or if you don't, fine, you can pay for it. But, you know, it took me, do you guys remember this? Like, remember when you used to do this kind of stuff? Yeah. Like, you get these plans, like it'd be late, you'd be drunk, and you'd go, I'm going to go down the hill, I'm going to go buy the ATM, I'm going to get myself, no, I'm going to, then I'm going to go to the club, yeah, and I'm going to get myself a lap dance and stuff. And you know, six hours and 180 bucks later, you're at the same place you would have been at three minutes later in the safe to your phone apartment if you've just beaten off. And now I know, now I just beat off. And it's still the same plan. Now here's the plan. I'm going to beat off, then I'm going down the hill, then I'm going to the ATM, then I'm going to get a six pack, then I'm going to the club, then sounds like, okay, I'm going to beat off, then I'm going to watch four hours of TV, then I'm going to pass out. I mean, you know what I mean? It takes the edge off.
9:34🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesLike it was yesterday, I remember it.
9:36🔗AdamYeah, yeah, but you won't, if you could just, I mean, if this guy would just come home and beat off before he picks up the phone, he would never pick up the phone. Now you think before you do it, I'm going to pick up the phone anyway, but you never do, not when you're done. Chris?
10:07🔗CallerI have a public problem where all of a sudden I'm out in public and I don't know if it's a thought in the back of my head, but all of a sudden I'll have a little, this long is long at the time. It's very hard at the time and it's like, I don't know how to get it down or anything.
11:32🔗CallerNo, no. They think I'm really hilarious. They think I'm really hilarious at school because I have like- I grew up with some kids that thought they were doing it.
11:44🔗AdamIt's going to get into some long-winded story about the old neighborhood. I'm not interested. He gets erections during the day. Here's the best way to stifle an erection, in my opinion.
11:54🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesShow it to your friends.
11:58🔗AdamYeah, you know, it seems like my answer for everything doesn't it? No, if you get an erection, like your penis hangs down, right? And this is what I do. Your penis hangs down and you're wearing some jeans or something and it starts getting a little blood in it and it starts pushing against the pants and starts pushing harder. Like, you know, when you're petting a dog or something and starts leaning on you a little bit, then you start petting a little harder, starts leaning on you a little harder. That's what your penis does. If you can discreetly reach down, grab your junk, yank it up against your belly. So instead of down going up, it's now up, it won't press down. It doesn't want to go that way.
12:35🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesHappily wear it under the belt buckle.
12:37🔗AdamYeah, just slide it right on under that belt buckle. And if you have a few championship rodeos under your belt and you have that full-scale hubcap size belt buckle that I proudly wore in high school, that will hide just about any schlong.
12:50🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesThe old rebel flag.
12:51🔗AdamThat's right. Or the Budweiser insignia. Greg?
14:47🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesBut we're supposed to meet like this weekend. I was wondering if this was a good idea and like, what's your take on it?
14:53🔗DrewI believe I'm sort of come all the way around about online relationships. I think you got to meet quick, like preferably within about two weeks. You don't put too much fantasy into the relationships. A month's okay. Preferably, the person should be within about a 50-mile radius. You can actually have a relationship with the person. And when you go meet them, take somebody with you and meet in a public place.
15:14🔗AdamOr take a dog or a sidearm or something, a pool cue.
15:40🔗AdamAll right, Christy, you can't go anyway, though. Okay. All right, so Drew, you're saying when you meet somebody online, when you go to meet them, it should be like a ransom drop.
15:58🔗AdamGuy on rooftops with binoculars and a hunting rifle.
16:02🔗DrewSeveral meetings like that before you let your guard down.
16:04🔗AdamRight. Then you put your phone number in a newspaper and walk past the guy, maybe a racing form, slide it under his arm, he hands it off to another guy. Yeah. I mean, God. Christie sounded, I'll just talk to her for one more second. Christie, you're not getting dates from the boys at high school?
17:41🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesOkay. First of all, I want to say hi to Dicky because he's awesome. I met him last year at an age festival. And then I just saw him last month.
17:52🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesPublic place. Good idea. Always a good idea. If you're going to meet Dicky.
19:04🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesBut I'm addicted to giving head or something. And every time I give head to anybody, I get off. And I feel bad because, like, I get off from it, and then, like, he doesn't even...
19:58🔗AdamYeah. That sounded like something was going on. Too good to be true. What happened?
20:05🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWell, one of my cousin's friends raped me when I was 11, and then I went down on a guy that I met in Ocean City, and then he wanted to have sex, and I went to, and then he raped me, and then one of my ex-boyfriends raped me.
20:22🔗AdamHow old were you the second time you were raped? I was 14. All right. So, you're pretty, you're doing a decent amount of acting out now, though, right? Or are you just staying with the one guy? You're doing all right?
20:36🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYeah. I've just been with him. Okay. We've been going out for, it'll be seven months. All right.
20:49🔗AdamHe probably just wanted to leave town or something. I've had shrinks do that. You're looking good. You can go home early. Ship shape, thumbs up.
20:57🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesSee his suitcases by the door.
20:59🔗AdamWhat about Bob? I haven't stopped crying yet, Doug. Yeah, that's all right. By the time you hit the car, you'll be fine. Wow. Kate?
21:15🔗AdamYeah, because here's what I see in Kate's future. I know now she's hypersexual and having orgasms with the oral sex and all that stuff, but there's going to come a time when I think some of that's going to change a little bit.
21:36🔗AdamHere's a girl, she doesn't like it when guys go down on her. She feels guilty because she's having an orgasm for going down on them. Man, but there's always a catch, isn't there? All right. David?
21:50🔗CallerYeah. I just wanted to know if there's a problem because when I masturbate, I get these red dots all over the head of my penis. I was just wondering what's up with that.
21:59🔗AdamAll right. Hold on a second. That's not your fingernail polish coming off. Is it your fruitcake?
22:05🔗AdamAll right. It's a little Don Rickles humor there, you hockey puck. We're going to take a little break. We have Joe and Dicky from the Bosstones here tonight. We're going to hear a song from the new CD. Pay attention when we come back and we'll get to David and his spotted penis after this.
24:08🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesAn hour before doors.
24:09🔗AdamHow does sound check... I mean, how does it normally work when you roll into a town and you're going to play a gig? What's a normal schedule like?
24:21🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYou're really interested in that.
24:23🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWell, Carl usually gets there about four hours before doors. He likes to ring out the monitors and then...
24:28🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesJohn, our monitor guy, likes to fill his cooler with Pepsi. Then he heads right over the monitor board and he's tweaks and he turns...
24:36🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesJohnny Rio changes all the guitar strings.
24:38🔗AdamHow soon do you have to get there before the gig? Because I hear about a lot of bands getting there at three, four in the afternoon. Then they do a sound check. Then they go back to the hotel. Then they come back later for the gig.
24:54🔗AdamWell, Drew and I have done gigs where they said, hey, come in at 6, do the sound check, then go back to the hotel, then come back at 8 and do the gig. And I've said, all right, well, we'll do the sound check over the phone. And they're like, how are you going to do that? Well, listen, stand at the stage about where I'd be standing, hold the mic up to your mouth and talk into it. If you can hear your voice, fine.
25:17🔗DrewAnd this is where he goes, shows at 8. We'll see you at 7.55. Okay.
25:21🔗Adam7.55, that's early. Because you're not going on to like 8.03. It's not right at 8.
25:27🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWe usually hit the, we usually go there about 2 in the afternoon, roll into town.
25:30🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWe get there, 9 times out of 10, you get there at about 8 in the morning, go to the hotel, check in, sleep till about 2, go to the club, do sound check, and then by the time you finish with sound check.
25:41🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesDoors are opening up.
26:33🔗AdamNo. Well, that's going to factor into the marriage, but Dicky and I would like to get married. You know what I mean?
26:37🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWho are we kidding?
26:39🔗AdamThere's no woman that's going to have you and no woman you want anyway, so as much as I.
26:44🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesThere's no one that sees more eye to eye than I do. Write down the line on all of your policies.
26:49🔗AdamYou keep your place in Boston, I'll keep my place in LA, but we'll commute.
26:53🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesCover the codes. We'll get together, do the radio show and catch a Bosstones gig and we'll call it a relationship.
26:59🔗AdamWe'll meet in Indiana every other weekend, like a Motel 6.
27:03🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesHave we ever gotten together and not just wet our pants, laugh and hang out, had a good time? You never made me feel uncomfortable.
27:55🔗AdamWhere's the one? That's in Anaheim. That's at the pond.
27:57🔗CallerOkay. Well, I have a boyfriend and like not. Well, kind of recently, like we'll be watching a movie or something. We'll be just hanging out and he'll full on, like, whip it out and start jacking off like in front of me. And it's like really awkward and I don't know what to say to him.
30:22🔗AdamHuh? Oh, man. Hey, Allison, maybe he just thinks you're so thick you're not going to notice. You know what I mean? He may look at you as like a cigar store Indian or something.
30:33🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesMaybe he's got a buddy across town doing the same thing and they're comparing notes the next day too.
30:53🔗CallerI'm not giggling, but I'm telling you that, like I've told him before that I'm like, I don't like that.
30:59🔗AdamYeah, but you're laughing. And let me give you some lessons, all right? Okay. All right. Let's fast forward. I was going to say pretend I'm masturbating, but just to fast forward two hours and let's say I am masturbating because of-
31:55🔗DrewIf he won't leave, she will kick him out, you can do this stuff. Listen.
32:00🔗AdamListen. Let me tell you something. Everyone's calling the police for everything. And meanwhile, I'm getting raped in my basement by gang members because the cops are rolling on the whack calls.
32:10🔗DrewThe point I'm trying to make, though, is that she needs to be prepared.
32:12🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWhat is the number on the whack calls?
33:10🔗AdamLet's see. Well, let's see. They're going to be in Henderson, Nevada. That's just a stone's throw. I mean, you couldn't get out there if you planned it.
34:49🔗AdamAdam can't do the show next month. You're not going to eff up your throat, are you?
34:53🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesBy Missoula, sure. This is like one after another. Yeah. It's like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
35:00🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesCome on. We're going on eight years of this now, though, you know?
35:33🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesIt's an inherited thing. My mom's is really long too. I get migraines. I get sick to my stomach. It's a whole big family thing. But this is lasting really, really long.
35:41🔗DrewHave you been checked to see if you have polycystic ovarian disease?
35:45🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYeah. And my mom took me to OBGYN.
36:06🔗AdamThey're right there in the hospital. It's a humane thing to do. Ten-day period, cramps.
36:12🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesI've ever experienced in my life.
36:13🔗DrewYou don't have polycystic ovarian disease, is that?
36:15🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesNo, I don't. They test me for it, I think once a year. I go twice a year and they test me for it once a year, just to see if anything pops up.
36:28🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWell, they've done ultrasound. They sometimes do x-rays just to see if something pops up. And then they do obviously the pap smear and stuff like that.
36:41🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesCheck for it every single-
36:42🔗DrewAll right. So if you have very irregular periods, you have very irregular periods and then you're having one of those episodes now. You don't have thyroid problems?
36:49🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesNo, I have no thyroid. They check for that too.
36:52🔗AdamIf you have very irregular periods for long enough, doesn't that become regular, irregular periods? I mean, when you're counting on something being irregular, does it eventually become regular?
37:03🔗DrewDo you want any medication? No. Why don't you go on the pill?
37:06🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWell, that's what I was about to ask you. Somebody told me, my best friend offered me her birth control pills.
37:12🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWell, I'm going to take it because you don't mix medication with somebody else. But anyway, she told me that birth control pills, after you take them for a couple of months, it really helps your period.
37:22🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYeah, I know. I asked my mom and she doesn't have a problem with it. The only thing she's worried about is it might screw up my cycle even more.
37:44🔗AdamWell, I want to know why the doctors aren't telling you to do this. Now she's saying, well, listen, if I bled for 10 days straight, I guess I'd be irritable too.
38:53🔗AdamNo, but here's the thing that was going...
38:56🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYou know what I think? I think she isn't sexually active, and that's why she was so uncomfortable with being on the pill. It sounded like to me.
39:02🔗AdamI understand, but it's like if your doctor tells you, hey, you have this bona fide condition, you're going to the doctor all the time, you're getting pap smears and...
39:12🔗Adam.ultrasounds and all this kind of stuff, and then pulls you aside and says, hey, here's what's going to clear it up. No, wait a minute, I want to discuss for a second, because Jill sounded like really angry at her mom, like, well, he told me while my mom wasn't in the room, but then I wasn't going to this or that, and she was like really pent up and really pissed off and anxious, and hey, Jill, just take the goddamn pill. I mean, who cares what your mom thinks, and you're taking it not because you're sexually active, but to help this condition out. You know what I'm saying?
40:03🔗DrewIt was interesting though. Spiteful. The people that go to doctors, you work it all out, you figure out what's going on. They're like, well, I'm not going to let the man talk me into anything. They're just taking advantage of me. It's like, oh, wait a minute.
40:13🔗AdamYeah, but see, listen, this is your problem, and I know we're running late for breakthrough, but this is why I finally yanked the phone from your hand when we were in the back of the limo. Where were we?
40:24🔗AdamOn the way to the airport. Drew deals with these old codgers. They're all these patients or these 85-year-old Jews who just call and talk his ear off constantly. Maybe I was on a couple hours sleep, maybe I had a couple beers in me. I don't know what kind of mood I was in, but I was done listening to Drew's second-hand conversations with his old fart patients. We're in the back of a limo and he's on his cell phone. He's like, Mrs. Wittenberg, you're going to have to go in the hospital this weekend because it's important that you see a physician. No, not Monday, this weekend. Well, no, it can't be done over the phone. I'm telling you, you're going to have to. Well, you're asking me and I'm telling you, you have to go in to get a checkup. No, I can't do it from here. No, you have to. I find the grandfather, listen, you old bat, you're going to the hospital. Why are you calling? What are you asking? If the guy tell you, you're calling and asking, and he's telling you to go do it, that's it. Who is this?
41:26🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesPut Drew back on the phone.
41:29🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYou're not a nice man.
41:31🔗AdamI yell in, throw the phone right back, I mean, yelled at Drew for not hanging up on her. But listen, here's how I would do it. If I'm wasting my time looking up someone's vagina, wait a minute. If I'm wasting my time with some old fart in there and I'm explaining, I'm taking my time and my expertise, explaining to them how it's going to go and they ain't listening, I'm yelling at them at that point. They're getting hit with a handful of birth control on the way out in the back of the head like Buckshot.
41:56🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWere you laughing, Drew, when he did that?
41:58🔗AdamHe liked it. He was glad. He felt empowered. For the first time in his life, he felt like a man. All right, we'll take a break. The Bosstones are here. We'll be back.
42:11🔗AdamWell, it's worth hearing. Yep, it is Loveline. If you want him. Phone number, 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, Dicky Barrett and Joe Gittleman are both here from The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Pay attention, it's the name of the CD. I command everyone within the sound of my voice to go out and get it. A Bosstones CD never disappoints.
43:00🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesIt's nice of you.
43:00🔗AdamYeah. I really do believe that. I want to mention, I forgot the man show was on tonight. I want to get that plug in.
43:08🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesIs that okay with you, Drew?
43:10🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesIs it one we've seen before?
43:40🔗AdamAll right. Let's listen to the new single from Pay Attention. Cued up there, Anderson? This one's called So Sad to Say. No, another good one by the Bosstones. Pay attention, yes. Lightning has struck twice. Drew, don't belch in the mic. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back with more of the Bosstones after this.
47:08🔗CallerLove Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.
47:54🔗AdamYep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Joe Gittleman and Dicky Barrett are both here from the mighty, mighty, mighty Boss Tones. You can see them tomorrow night at the Roxy here in LA. And-
48:09🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesCome down, line up. There will be some tickets available for free. You know, this is free. Did we mention this is free? That's the crazy thing about it.
48:50🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesThe point is, we've never given anything away before.
48:53🔗AdamThe Bosstones for free tomorrow night at the Roxy.
48:55🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWe know how to sell stuff really well.
48:56🔗AdamAnd then when you get home, if you want to watch them for free again, you can turn on Leno and check them out for free on the Tonight Show. All right, and listen tonight. They'll be sitting here for free. Lisa?
49:10🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesOK, I think the screener misunderstood my question a little. What I wanted to know is, it seems like wherever I live, my neighbors have really loud, noisy sex. It is a little annoying, but that's not totally my question.
49:26🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesAll right. I wonder if it's how normal that is and how much it's just acting like they've seen too many porn movies. Because I don't feel like, I don't know, I just don't feel like that's normal and wanted to get some guy's opinions about that.
49:40🔗AdamWell, if it happens to you everywhere you go, then something's up with you, I'd say.
49:45🔗DrewHow can she have anything to do with that?
50:58🔗DrewYeah, yeah, how many times has this actually happened?
51:01🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesUm, in three places that I've lived.
51:03🔗DrewAnd you've been three different people each time?
51:06🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesMy main question is, not so much that it has happened, because I think that's just coincidental. More that I guess I just want to know more of a guy's opinion on whether that is something that guys like or if that's normal.
51:21🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYeah, just really being so loud, it doesn't seem natural to me. I guess my question is, is there something wrong with me for being quieter?
51:29🔗AdamI don't find it a distraction unless you're getting it on in the bathroom of an airplane or something and then it gets a little weird.
51:49🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYeah, it's funny. I know I'm not that good.
51:51🔗AdamYeah, but- Dr. Drew, knock it off. I'm trying to talk. Yeah, but some women are a little bit crazy, vocalized like chimpanzees. That's fine if you're out in the middle of the desert camping or something, but when you're in a small hotel or you're in an apartment with people above you and below you kind of thing, it's a little distracting because if you can hear the guys TV coming through the wall, you sure as hell can hear her yelling, saying daddy, you know, at the top of her lungs.
52:24🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWell, so like from Drew, I guess from more of a doctor perspective, do you think that that is just per person or do you think it's a little bit like, it just always comes across as acting to me?
52:34🔗DrewNo, I think that people who don't do that have difficulty understanding where that comes from.
53:00🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesThe layoff is probably just, it probably takes a lot of analyzation but I'm real picky with guys. I just find that I don't like to sleep around and I like to be in a committed relationship and I haven't found one.
53:21🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesAll right. The new millennium what, everyone's got to be out there just humping away for you, huh?
53:26🔗AdamI'm just getting a little uptight vibe thing going from Lisa and I've got to say I'm not surprised it's been a year and a half since a man has been in her bed.
53:33🔗DrewA little uptight is not a bad thing and she just sounds uptight as compared to who we normally talk to here.
53:38🔗AdamYeah, prostitutes usually come in to the show in porn stars.
53:42🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesI'm definitely not like a lot of the other callers.
55:06🔗AdamThat's right. And I put my green mud pack on my face. Whatever happened, all those good cold cream jokes from the 70s. That's something I'd like to see. You know, I sit here on the show and wax on about stuff that's missing from television.
55:22🔗AdamVanishing Cream was good too, but that was a cartoon thing. We were talking a couple weeks ago about what happened to Quicksand. You know, every third guy used to fall into some Quicksand. I told Drew, when I was nine, I thought there was a 50-50 chance I would be taken by Quicksand before my 30th birthday. And that was a conservative estimate. Quicksand killed like one out of three people in the world.
55:46🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYou'd be in the woods and you'd see a mud puddle and think, I could be Quicksand.
55:49🔗AdamThat's right. It's gone now. But here's what used to be the old 60s, 70s sitcom gag too, was a woman with the big cold cream thing. So she had like the raccoon eyes, you know, and the cold cream all of the face, the curlers, the nightgown. The husband comes home drunk. The husband comes home drunk, she hears some noises. What? She thinks there's a prowler. She turns the corner to the door.
56:51🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesSpeak for yourself. I'm out of this one.
56:53🔗CallerWell, my problem is that at first, I thought she was mature for her age. She's taking second-year calculus, so on and so forth. Really intelligent.
57:04🔗AdamWell, she's good at math. I mean, that's fair game.
57:08🔗DrewYeah, mature for her age doesn't mean anything to me. That means you haven't been able to get a date.
58:04🔗AdamI just, Drew, I think there's only 80 hours in a week. How many hours are there in a week?
58:08🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesIf there's that many in a week, somebody do the math for us.
58:11🔗AdamWait a minute. Listen, this always drives me nuts when people go, they work 100 hours a week because it's damn near impossible. If you have one job like when you're doing your residency, Drew, and you could sleep in a broom closet standing up and still not punch out, you could get 100 hours a week. But just if each job is 15 minutes apart, you can't get 100 hours a week. And if you have three or four jobs like that, can you?
58:38🔗DrewWell, if you knock, you know, 158 hours a week.
58:42🔗AdamWell, listen, 15 hours a day is 105, right? Seven days a week, right?
58:52🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesI'm trying to write this down.
58:53🔗AdamSo it'd be more than 14 hours, right? It'd be like 14 and a half hours a day, seven days a week, no days off ever. And if you did take one day, one day off, then you'd have to work like 17 and a half, eight, you have to work 18 hours a day, six days a week. I think that's kind of impossible, isn't it?
59:16🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesAnd hit the coffee shop and meet the young broads.
59:20🔗AdamWhen do you have time to cruise for an underage prune?
59:26🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesHe's drinking a lot of coffee, though, that's keeping him up for the 100 hours.
59:29🔗CallerDoing 100 hours a week is because we're down to two people working at my store.
59:35🔗AdamAll right, Robert, you sound like a decent enough guy, but 16 is too young. It just is.
59:41🔗CallerWell, she's trying to tell me that, oh, I turned 17 in like a month.
1:00:32🔗CallerOkay. I'm calling because my boyfriend had surgery and he had a catheter put in him. He was supposed to wait, like, I don't know, three weeks or something to have surgery, but you know, you guys never wait. So five, like, four days later, we had sex and he shot this, like, enormous swab and I was wondering if that was normal.
1:02:23🔗DrewNo, but it's just not a typical thing.
1:02:24🔗AdamWell, Drew, how does that work? She said he had a catheter. I assumed he had one for a while, but he had it taken out the next day. So I don't know where that factor is in here. But then why would they tell him not to have sex for three weeks? Because he just didn't want to exert himself?
1:02:40🔗DrewYeah, he had bone removed from his hip and grafted it to his neck.
1:02:44🔗AdamThat's what I love about guys. And you know, the beauty is, the doc told him, three weeks off sex, take a week off work. Well, he was back on top of his old lady in four days, but he's still home from work. You know, he's called in. Yeah, I know it's been 11 months, but the hip's still bad.
1:03:02🔗CallerI'm still using a cane. I'm in quite a bit of pain.
1:03:05🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesGetting tons of play, though.
1:03:06🔗AdamYeah, I mean, guys, really, that's all you need to know about guys. You tell a woman, you tell a woman three weeks off, off the vagina, and that's it.
1:03:32🔗AdamDo you think a woman has ever soaked off a forearm cast? You know what I mean? Remember when they used to be plaster? How many guys? One out of every three guys who got a plaster cast soaked it off prematurely and went out riding or did whatever they had played football, whatever they had. And no woman has ever soaked the cast off.
1:03:50🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWhatever you need the arm for.
1:04:10🔗CallerI know. I'm sorry. When I'm actually, she says she can feel it inside and she says there's like chemical change, some things she says it doesn't burn, but she says it feels different and weird. So she talked to a doctor about it. The doctor's like, maybe it's just body chemistry. But I'm sort of like, OK, it makes her uncomfortable. So where does that leave me? What's going on?
1:05:20🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesKeeping your chemicals to yourself there.
1:05:22🔗AdamCan you pull out and have a little hazmat spill on the belly? Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss I can bear that. I don't know. Talk to the doctor, see what's up.
1:05:48🔗DrewBut nothing specific comes to mind for me at all.
1:05:50🔗AdamDrew, what if they diluted it? What about after the orgasm, he put a shot of seltzer in it?
1:06:07🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesComedy seltzer. What happened to the seltzer?
1:06:08🔗AdamMissing that from TV too. Not necessarily 60s, 70s, but just in general, the seltzer bottle is something that's missing. Yeah. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little bitty break. We got the Bosstones here tonight. We'll be right back after this.
1:06:24🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYo, Loveline will be right back.
1:07:06🔗CallerHello, this is the Mango, from the Saturday Night to the Live. And you will be listening to the Loveline with the Adam Corolla sauce and the Drew Man with the ass. No, you can't have a man.
1:07:22🔗AdamI guess that's because I brought up the Mango. All right, it is the Loveline program, the radio program. I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew over there. Pay attention, it's the name of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones new CD and really here's I know I say this on occasion but I really really mean it this time here's the deal, kiddies, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones are as good a friend of the show as any band ever was and we really like these guys and we want everyone we like to be tremendously successful so they can possibly help us one day when the wheels come off the wagon which I'm feeling is right around the corner so I would like all of you and not only for me and Loveline and Humanity but for you because the Bosstones put out a kick-ass CD each and every time to go out and purchase the new Mighty Mighty Bosstones CD. Do it for me, do it for you, do it for America, do it for Dicky, do it for his condo in Boston. All right, we will, because I got In-N-Out Burger here that I gotta eat, we will hear something else off of the new CD entitled The Pay Attention. And this song is called Where You Come From. There it is. Off of Pay Attention to New Bosstones.
1:11:28🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesYou know, they're all good songs.
1:11:30🔗The Mighty Mighty Bosstones16 good songs, unless you're in Australia, then there's 18 from what I understand.
1:11:34🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesReally? Yeah. How did that work out?
1:11:36🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesWell, we're trying to help Australia's economy. Somehow the Bosstones are going to fix everything.
1:11:42🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesSo the imports won't be so readily, people won't want to import as much.
1:11:49🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesIt seems like a sham to me.
1:11:52🔗AdamIs that why you do a different import?
1:11:54🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesFor a lot of people, it is, because by the time, I don't know, the record comes out, the American version has already flooded the marketplace and then the, you know.
1:12:03🔗AdamDoes it come out at a different time in Australia?
1:12:05🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesNo, but I don't know.
1:12:09🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesThey're actually competing with American releases for some reason. Can't straighten this out. The answer to that is more songs from the Bosstones.
1:12:22🔗CallerI'm having a little problem. I have a few girlfriends. I feel really irritable when I don't have sex, you know, three times a day or two times a day. I was wondering if there's any kind of medication that I can take to deal with that. I haven't been to see a doctor or anything.
1:12:41🔗AdamThere's a homeopathic medicine called jack you off.
1:13:00🔗DrewButter. Paul, I'm going to try to understand. How many girlfriends do you have right now?
1:13:05🔗CallerWell, I technically only have one, but like three or four.
1:13:11🔗AdamYou're having sex with three or four women?
1:13:13🔗CallerYeah, I get really irritable if I don't have sex at least three times a day.
1:13:18🔗DrewIf you're truly a sexual compulsive...
1:13:20🔗CallerIt's getting in the way of my school and everything. If there's any kind of medication...
1:13:25🔗DrewNo, no. If you're truly a sexual... No. If you're truly a sexual... Listen.
1:13:29🔗AdamMy girlfriend... Hey, shut up, you retard, before I come over there and hump you. Jesus Christ. Let Drew talk, you jackass. Why you bother calling the show? Thank you. Go ahead, Drew.
1:13:41🔗DrewIf you're really a sexual compulsive, we'd expect to see a history of you having been sexually abused as a child. Is that there?
1:14:03🔗DrewAlright, so this could be part of that. Addicts, alcoholics sometimes get real compulsive about their sexuality. And if you want to do something about it, it's about... really about going to SA. No magic pills for this. And I'm hoping he's not abusing steroids or something.
1:14:16🔗AdamAlright, listen, don't get any of these women pregnant. Go to SA. And also, if you get really busy in your life, don't you tend not to obsess about things? I mean, think you guys, and I know if he's a true compulsive or addict, that's something else. But think about times in your life when you've had some downtime. Think about women for a second, guys. You know what I'm talking about? You had a lot of time in your life to think about someone you were with or someone you broke up with or someone you're getting together with. When you had a lot of downtime, you had a lot of time to think about them. And when you're running around and traveling around and taking care of business, you tended to think a little more about taking care of business than you did about that. And maybe it sounds too easy because it doesn't involve a pill or any therapy, but sort of get off your ass and get busy. And this is going to take some of it away. A hobby. Yeah. Is it, besides raping, is it like 85 degrees in here?
1:15:23🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesIt's getting a little gamey, all right?
1:15:24🔗AdamYeah. Really hot. I know. Anne gives us this, you're making it up look. Look at Anne. Anne's like, oh, come on. Don't give us the old you're frying in the studio line again. It's like, you're right, we're gaslighting you, Anne. It's freezing in here.
1:15:54🔗DrewNational Institute on Drug and Alcohol Abuse is going to come out with a big campaign in the summer that shows PET scans of people after using ecstasy. And it shows the damaging effects, which is really profoundly, profoundly damaging.
1:16:08🔗CallerI've heard like off the internet, like, stuff, the information that I've downloaded. I was doing it a lot last summer and I've kind of cooled off. But...
1:16:15🔗DrewWell, you can expect memory problems, anxiety, and depression.
1:16:23🔗DrewYeah, check out the National Institute of Health, NIH.gov or.org.
1:16:28🔗CallerHow do you think it affects your relationships with other people?
1:16:31🔗DrewWell, if you're depressed and irritable and having difficulty, sort of feeling overwhelmed all the time, it's difficult to engage in relationships.
1:16:40🔗CallerWell, I don't really feel like anything, but I had a long relationship that ended once we started experimenting with rolling and stuff like that.
1:18:22🔗AdamWow. Someone else with that same name called in. Right, Drew? A few weeks back? Thank you, Drew. It's good radio when I talk to you.
1:18:29🔗DrewIt's good to talk when I'm talking to Dicky.
1:18:31🔗AdamSorry for breaking up here. You're a little lovin over there. Anyway, what's your problem, Chai?
1:18:37🔗CallerWell, I sleep around a lot and I was just like, I don't like how they treat me afterwards, you know, but I don't like stop doing it or anything.
1:18:48🔗AdamWell, 50 bucks is 50 bucks. Yeah, how many guys have you been with?
1:19:23🔗CallerWell, we were going to visit him for a while. We've been divorced for almost two years and then a few months back, like last month, actually, yeah. He beat up my mom after dropping us off.
1:20:01🔗AdamAll right. So now you're doing what every little girl who has an alcoholic abuse of dad ends up doing, which is you turn into guys and you're acting out. So would you like to stop?
1:20:47🔗DrewWhat you're picking is guys that are colossal assholes like your dad.
1:20:51🔗AdamAnd don't start with that all-guys-are-pricks rap because it's not all guys. It's the guys you choose. And that's not your fault. It's your dad's fault. It really is. But it's your fault for not stopping from this conversation on because now you know.
1:21:07🔗DrewAnd doing something about it. Maybe getting to talk to a counselor at school. Getting some kind of treatment.
1:21:11🔗CallerI talked to the counselor. I haven't seen him for like a year.
1:21:14🔗DrewSexually? Does he know what you're doing?
1:21:25🔗CallerWell, he doesn't really tell me to do anything.
1:21:27🔗AdamAll right. But here's the thing, Chy. Really, here's why I'm trying to intervene here. Because on a few different levels, this is bad. A, you can get pregnant. You know, you can get AIDS. You can get herpes. You can get some sort of venereal disease that can't be cured or even one that can be cured. And there's a pain in the ass. You can do damage to yourself physically. But emotionally, you do damage to yourself. Because here's what happens. As a female, oh, God, I wish I had the ability to act out sexually when I was 15. I had all the makings of a slut when I was 15 and I never got laid. I was like 18. You know what I'm saying? And I don't blame you. I mean, if I could have done it, if I was going to act out, I would have done it too. And you have to govern yourself because guys are not going to govern you themselves. They're going to be on you. But here's what I'm saying, Chy. You're 15. You can't understand this right now. But we hear it time and time again. You come from this kind of environment. You go nuts from 15 to 17. You rack up a whole bunch of numbers. You sleep with 30 guys in a year and a half. You feel as if you've lost some of your innocence and you've given something away. And then lo and behold, you're like 24 and you meet the man in your dreams. And it kind of haunts you. You feel bad for your past. You feel bad for the way you've acted. It doesn't mean he's not going to love you. You end up screwing with yourself over just a small period of time in your life when you didn't stop yourself, question what you were doing and get some help. So you're at that threshold now. You already got started down the path. We're asking you to stop.
1:23:14🔗DrewThey've all been painful. It's been painful to be involved with people.
1:23:17🔗AdamStop trying if you're having trouble. Just lay back and be 15 for Christ's sake. I know you need a lot. I know you need something from guys because of what your dad did. But you can't find that in every guy. You got to find that in yourself. You need to read a book and go for a walk or even read the book while you're walking. But don't hit a tree. All right?
1:23:39🔗AdamBut what I can't, you know what I mean? If you had that opportunity, I mean, given, my parents didn't pay that much attention to me. My dad wasn't around that much. I would have gladly done this at 15 if I could have.
1:23:57🔗AdamYeah. I mean, I needed an ether bottle and a roll of duct tape in order to pull this off. And like four willing guys who wouldn't talk in a van. And I saw enough shotgun.
1:24:08🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesSounds like you had the guys.
1:24:30🔗DrewLoveline. The band Corolla and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.
1:25:05🔗AdamIt's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Mighty Mighty Bosstones here tonight. Yeah, I'm just looking at the CD.
1:25:15🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesI signed that one for him.
1:25:16🔗AdamOh, you did? All right, well, this is Drew's. Pay Attention is the name of the CD. It is out, and we suggest you go out and get it if you haven't already. Jeremy.
1:26:03🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesI don't see the comparison.
1:26:04🔗AdamListen, it's illegal for a professional boxer to wear headgear, but if you gave him the option to wear headgear, he would put it on gladly.
1:26:27🔗AdamWell, I buy a medium, but a small would work. I, you know, in case there's an earthquake at night, I want a lighting fixture landing on my groin.
1:27:02🔗CallerYeah. And like, you know, ever since, and it's just been really swollen. And I usually, you know, whack off before I go to bed. And I just wasn't able to do it.
1:27:21🔗DrewWell, you could, you can fracture the test. You can, you can rupture, rupture, fracture, you can cut the blood supply off to it. It can die.
1:27:30🔗DrewYou can be really serious. You got to get it checked out. And when they swell and you get painful erections and that kind of thing, that's a significant symptom and it needs to be checked out.
1:27:40🔗AdamAnd by the way, if you're playing soccer, you're playing any sport where they're kicking involved, put the cup on, and the excuse that it is going to impede your mobility is ridiculous because professional football players have been wearing cups for years and...
1:29:26🔗CallerYeah. I have a question for Dr. Drew. Yeah. I've had this problem for a long time, like, that I caught scabies from this dude's snake a long time ago, a big python, I think it might have gotten under my skin or something.
1:29:43🔗DrewWait a minute, scabies you get from other people.
1:29:45🔗CallerWell, maybe it was that, because I don't know, but the doctors, anyway, but the doctors.
1:29:50🔗AdamThat is a serious white trash maneuver, by the way. I picked up something from a snake. You know what I mean?
1:29:57🔗CallerWell, I had gotten scabies and I had gotten it taken care of, or I thought I did, and then I went back and they were like, okay, well, here's some shampoo, here, wash yourself, this and that. So I did. And then I still don't think that it's gone in a way because...
1:30:12🔗DrewDid you do all the household things you're supposed to do?
1:30:29🔗DrewOne of the things, yes. What else didn't you do?
1:30:31🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesBurn the overalls.
1:30:32🔗AdamThe potato sack you wear with the arm holes in it. You gotta wash that. The rope used for belts. You gotta wash that.
1:30:40🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesThe sleeveless half shirt. Wash that in gasoline.
1:30:42🔗DrewAnybody else in the household think they have a rash or scabies?
1:30:45🔗CallerWell, yeah. Actually, my girlfriend.
1:30:47🔗DrewAll right. Well, if she doesn't get treated...
1:30:48🔗CallerThe real problem, though, the thing... I just had sex with her like a couple of days ago. And I think that possibly, because I'm like... None of it is personal in her thing, but I'm like uncircumcised. And just the other day we had sex and like... I'm like... I don't know. My skin is like... kind of like peeling and stuff in there.
1:31:24🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesCan you get it from the snake?
1:31:26🔗DrewI've never heard of it before. You get itching. The classic thing is a little sort of streak. A streak where the mite burrows through your skin because it makes a little red streak. But any itching, any eruption that's sort of around the belt line, ankles, wrists, distributes like that, that's scabies will prove otherwise.
1:31:47🔗AdamYour friend always tries to make out with the guys you like?
1:31:52🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesNot quite like that. I have a friend of mine and we're pretty close, you know. But it seems like every guy that I let her know that I have a crush on or anything.
1:32:14🔗AdamYeah. All right. I'm sorry. I was way off. Hey, numbnuts. I'm not answering your question now because you repeated verbatim what I said to you that you said wasn't.
1:32:32🔗AdamSorry. I will not tolerate that. I don't know what it is with a 16-year-old to insist on doing that.
1:32:40🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesI don't think you understood the question. She was trying to ask you about a friend who likes to make out with the guy she likes.
1:33:49🔗AdamAll righty. Well, there you go. Another fabulous show with the Mighty Mighty Bosstones in the can. I want to thank Dick and Joe for coming down here. Always, always a delight. Tomorrow night at the Roxy, everybody, if you're out here in LA on Sunset Strip, do not miss the totally free show at the Roxy. Get there early. Get to the box office. Get those tickets. See the Bosstones. Pay attention is the name of the CD. Go out and get it. I command you to get it. And catch them also tomorrow night on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Thanks, guys.
1:34:23🔗The Mighty Mighty BosstonesThank you, Adam.
1:34:25🔗AdamAnd until next time. Yeah, thanks, Drew. Until next time. Is that an umbrella for Dr. Drew? Say mahalo. Hey, shut up, you retard, before I come over there and hump you. Well now.