Wednesday, March 15, 2000

0:02🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:05🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

0:11🔗 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew. I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

0:15🔗 Voiceover Loveline.

0:18🔗 Adam Yep, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. Dr. Drew is in Minneapolis. Yep. There he is. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Tonight, our guests from Mad TV, Debra Wilson and Mo Collins are both here. Saturday night, 11 o'clock on Fox. And it's a little bit of a running joke Drew and I have about Mad TV because we have had various members of the cast on our...

0:51🔗 Drew During their last season.

0:54🔗 Adam Yes, when the show premiered 17 years ago, each one of the members we had on our show at that time confided in me in confidence that this was the last season. That the show would be canceled the following week.

1:08🔗 No doubt about it.

1:09🔗 Adam It's been on the way out for four years now and five years, sorry. Well no, the first year it wasn't on the way out. That's what I'm saying Debra. But Debra, you and I have had conversations about this is going to be the last season many, at least three and a half years ago, haven't we? Yes. All right. Now wait a minute, speaking to your microphone. But is it, what is going on? The show keeps going on. It's obviously successful. And if I were you though, I would stick to the party line if this is the last season, because you don't want to jinx it by saying you're out of the woods.

1:46🔗 Caller Well, the show's doing well, and I can almost, by television standards and even entertainment industry standards, think that the show is going to go on for another two years, which is something I haven't said before.

1:57🔗 Adam No, you haven't.

1:58🔗 Caller Don't say that.

1:59🔗 Adam It's getting a plug pulled on it right now. I hope you enjoyed last Saturday's episode, Kitties, because that was the last one that will ever air.

2:06🔗 Caller You're right. You'd be surprised. Let me tell you something. We really, honestly, the show extremely steamrolled by fourth season into the fifth season. We had some major, major, major additions to the show. Yeah.

2:20🔗 That would be me.

2:20🔗 Caller Yes, which is exactly why I'm bringing that point up. Mo Collins was in a major addition to the show with her characters and just bringing some really great work to the table.

2:29🔗 Adam Mo, I don't think I've met. Have I?

2:32🔗 No, we have not met.

2:33🔗 Adam I think we've had every other cast member on. There's been some like in the past like Lisa Cuchel who I've knew for years before she was on that show. And Michael McDonald who is currently on it who I've known for years as well. I'm trying to think who else I knew before they got on that show. But the point is is it keeps rolling along and that's it's a tough it's a genre where shows don't last other than Saturday Night Live very long.

3:04🔗 Okay, yeah, I was going to say.

3:06🔗 Adam No, I know I know Saturday Night Live's been on for 25 years.

3:09🔗 But 20 others have fallen by the wayside.

3:12🔗 Adam Because I've I've said to people I think sketch comedy is one of the toughest genres of comedy to pull off.

3:19🔗 Drew I never heard you say that.

3:21🔗 Adam Oh, shut up, you idiot. I'm trying to kiss a little ass here. You mind?

3:25🔗 I would go so far as to say that sketch comedy is one of the more difficult television shows to put on.

3:31🔗 Adam Absolutely. And here's the problem with sketch comedy. And this is the reason I got out of doing it myself. It is not perceived as being as difficult as it actually is.

3:41🔗 Caller No.

3:42🔗 Adam People think it's supposed to be better than it is. They think it's easier than it actually is. And therefore, that's a tough situation. People think it's easy. It's really difficult. And the bar set real high.

3:55🔗 Caller Yep. It's true. But it is. It's not. It's a comedy factory, you know, and you have to keep it fresh for everybody. And to be in it five years is...

4:05🔗 Adam And not to be able to do the same. You can do the same characters, but you cannot do the same sketches over and over like you can if you're doing a play or doing a sketch comedy at a 99 seat theater where you can find nuances, you can hone it. You can work out the beats. I mean, if you think about it, I mean, when when I think back to my days of butchering sketch comedy, the first 25 times I did a sketch sucked. I didn't even know the lines. You know, I mean, it was only it was only by the time I got to the 26th or the 50th that I found a few nuances in the thing and actually brought it to life a little bit. I couldn't imagine just doing it one time and then going and doing something else one time, you know, going off to another sketch and never to do it again.

4:50🔗 Caller And this too is why people can't say that we stick that you just have a formula like sketch comedy. There's just a formula that you can stick to because like you say, you can do a same character over and over again. But if you just did a formula with that character, the character would die.

5:05🔗 Adam Right.

5:06🔗 Caller And the only real formula is constant change.

5:08🔗 Adam And Debra, when I see you last at a fashion show.

5:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

5:15🔗 Adam Wasn't that it?

5:15🔗 Caller Actually, it was a fashion show that was specifically designed for AIDS research.

5:20🔗 Adam That's right. And I did my part by shaking my ass.

5:25🔗 Caller You did a good job.

5:26🔗 Adam Thank you. Thank you very much. Drew, what are you grunting about? You weren't at that show. You were supposed to be. I do my part to help the homos. But where were you?

5:37🔗 Drew I didn't want to see you shake your ass.

5:38🔗 Adam That's right. Well, you could have went out in front of me.

5:41🔗 Drew All right.

5:42🔗 Adam I'm going to take some calls here, Drew. We're going to have ourselves a good show.

5:46🔗 All right.

5:47🔗 Drew Good.

5:48🔗 Adam Where are you, Drew?

5:49🔗 Drew Minneapolis. Yeah.

5:51🔗 Adam Are you at our affiliate over there? The Mighty Zone 105. That's right. All right.

5:57🔗 Drew All right.

5:58🔗 Adam They call themselves the Mighty Zone 105?

6:00🔗 Caller Hey, come on. Back off the Minnesotans.

6:02🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Mo, you're from Minnesota, right?

6:04🔗 Caller That's right.

6:05🔗 Adam I had a girlfriend from Minnesota.

6:06🔗 Yeah, I bet she was terrific.

6:08🔗 Drew They are very together out here, Adam. They've got a huge complex and very nice people. Lots of people working here late at night. Huge complex. No, seriously, it's huge.

6:16🔗 Adam Minnesota, my girlfriend from Minnesota was funny and smart and sassy, just a little bit nutty. But other than that, everything was fine. And I remember, the two stories I remember, there was one is I got in a bet with her in almost a fistfight over how many people in California knew what Utter Bomb was. Because she said, I guarantee you if I stop someone on the street and ask them what Utter Bomb is, they're going to know what it is. And I said, listen, I'm from North Hollywood and I guarantee you nobody I know has ever heard of Utter Bomb. Oh, yes, they have. Apparently, it's this cream you put on the teat of the cow or on the udder so it doesn't get chapped when it's that 80 degrees below. And you got to go out milking.

6:56🔗 Caller Cows and the gals too.

6:57🔗 Adam But no one knew what Utter Bomb was. And the other, well, I'll tell you the other good story later. David, David.

7:06🔗 How's it going?

7:06🔗 Adam Good, you're 17. What's up?

7:08🔗 Caller Hey Adam, man, I love you, man. You're like my idol.

7:11🔗 Adam That's good.

7:12🔗 Caller All right.

7:13🔗 Drew God help you.

7:14🔗 Caller How are you doing? Good.

7:15🔗 What do you want?

7:17🔗 Caller Well, the problem is I was over at my girlfriend's house today after school and my teeth are really killing me from my race. I just got them tightened yesterday. And so I was looking around her medicine cabinet for some like ibuprofen or something. And I found this little bottle had some, what I thought was ibuprofen inside. There were these little yellow pills. So I popped a couple in my mouth and drank it down with water.

7:41🔗 Adam And now your period won't start up again?

7:46🔗 Caller I don't know what to do because I found out she told me that there were birth control pills. And so I don't know.

7:53🔗 Drew Nothing. You just get a little nausea to maybe but that's it. No big deal.

7:56🔗 Adam And they weren't birth control pills anyway.

7:58🔗 Caller I'm not going to be gum sterile or anything.

8:00🔗 Drew Nope.

8:00🔗 Adam Now you know what? I think David's lying anyway. Who keeps their birth control pills scattered? Who pops them out? Aren't they in that packet?

8:08🔗 Caller Many, many gals.

8:09🔗 Adam They do?

8:09🔗 Caller They pop out, you know, sometimes they pop out when you don't expect it and yeah, they lie all over.

8:13🔗 Drew And by the way, since when do birth control pills look anything like an ibuprofen?

8:17🔗 Adam Well when you're high and your braces are too tight and they're affecting your mind, I mean, come on. I didn't even know they were yellow though. Are they yellow?

8:25🔗 Caller Well, see, I don't know anymore.

8:26🔗 Caller Drew, actually, I have seen ibuprofen that are very, well, they weren't as small as this, but they were small.

8:32🔗 Drew All right. So if this would have happened to somebody, what should they do? And nothing.

8:37🔗 Caller Nothing?

8:38🔗 Drew Nothing.

8:38🔗 Adam You feel fine?

8:39🔗 Caller And one more thing.

8:40🔗 Adam You should eat a pint of Haagen-Dazs and cry yourself to sleep.

8:44🔗 Caller You won't feel like having any.

8:45🔗 Adam Watching Jenny Jones, all right?

8:47🔗 Caller Okay, one more thing. I was just wondering if I could tug the band that I'm in called Lemon.

8:50🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, Drew.

8:52🔗 Drew Yeah.

8:53🔗 Adam I told you that was a bogus call.

8:55🔗 Drew Yeah. No, I didn't disagree with you.

8:56🔗 Adam You didn't?

8:57🔗 Drew No, no.

8:57🔗 Adam Okay. I think Mo may have.

9:00🔗 Drew I just wanted to answer it because I think it's something that could have happened or people take extra pills or wondering if these things are toxic and they're not.

9:06🔗 Adam What color? Do birth control pills come in a yellow?

9:09🔗 Caller They come in different colors.

9:10🔗 Drew Summer page?

9:11🔗 Caller You're weak straight.

9:12🔗 Adam Right. But I've never seen a yellow one.

9:14🔗 Caller Well, you know, it's 2000. Maybe they did something different for that new millennium.

9:19🔗 Adam Mo, you're not on birth control anymore? All right.

9:23🔗 Caller I'm leaving it up to God.

9:24🔗 Adam I'm just going to put you down for oral sex then tonight to play it safe. All righty.

9:29🔗 All right, Drew.

9:31🔗 Drew Yeah.

9:31🔗 Adam I'm picking another call.

9:33🔗 Drew You're up for it, man.

9:34🔗 Adam Brian.

9:36🔗 Caller Yeah, I got a question for the doctor, though.

9:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

9:40🔗 Caller I think about the beginning of this month, I smoked like probably like a lot of weed, like maybe 10 joints throughout the whole day.

9:46🔗 Drew One single day.

9:47🔗 Caller Yeah. All right. Throughout the whole day, though, basically around 10.

9:52🔗 Drew Okay.

9:52🔗 Caller And I had to take a drug test next week on Thursday.

9:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:57🔗 Drew Yeah. But that was, you don't, you don't, people don't smoke 10 joints in one day and not have been smoking prior to that.

10:03🔗 Caller Well, I, I smoked prior to it.

10:04🔗 Adam And by the way, Brian, forget about testing positive. You're going to piss a joint in, into the beaker. You'll be the only drug test in the world where it's like they didn't have to take it to a lab. There was a joint floating.

10:17🔗 Drew They're going to light it up.

10:18🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

10:19🔗 Caller Well, I hadn't smoked like prior to that for like probably like three weeks.

10:23🔗 Drew Yeah. But you're a regular smoker.

10:25🔗 Adam How can you? Bob Marley and his primed and smoked 10 joints in a day. How do you smoke 10 joints in a day?

10:31🔗 Caller It was a party like the whole all day party.

10:34🔗 Adam I know. I mean, I've smoked a lot of weed at a lot of parties, but it's it's it's it's really difficult to smoke 10 joints in one day.

10:41🔗 Caller It might not have been 10. I just know it was like probably a lot, a lot more than I usually do.

10:45🔗 Adam OK, where are you trying to get a job?

10:48🔗 Caller It's not a job. It's for an internship police academy.

10:51🔗 Oh, great.

10:53🔗 Caller Well, there you have it.

10:54🔗 Adam There you go.

10:55🔗 Caller Arguments are just settled.

10:57🔗 Adam Listen, let me tell you something, Brian. The reason there's a screening process is because it's important for certain elements to be screened out of certain positions. I'm all for this, by the way.

11:07🔗 Caller Well, I'm all for that, too. But I've like stopped. I'm just, you know, I need to get my life on track now.

11:13🔗 Adam You stopped a few, a couple of weeks ago, though, right?

11:16🔗 Caller Yeah, I haven't done it.

11:16🔗 Drew How many years did you smoke before you stopped?

11:19🔗 Caller Probably two.

11:20🔗 Drew And then you, and how many weeks had you stopped before you had the big binge?

11:24🔗 Caller Probably like two or three.

11:26🔗 Drew And that was how long ago?

11:29🔗 Caller Like how long before I smoked the big...

11:30🔗 Drew How long ago was the 10-joint day?

11:33🔗 Caller Probably like the beginning of this, like the first, I think.

11:35🔗 Drew And when is the drug test?

11:38🔗 Caller Next Thursday, I think it's the 23rd.

11:40🔗 Drew You'll probably make it.

11:42🔗 All right, Brian.

11:43🔗 Caller Is there anything I can do to make sure I make it?

11:46🔗 No.

11:47🔗 Drew Don't smoke pot.

11:48🔗 Yeah. All right.

11:50🔗 Adam There's no beads he can rub or anything?

11:53🔗 Caller No.

11:53🔗 I heard if you drink green tea.

11:55🔗 Adam Go ahead.

11:56🔗 Caller Yeah, just whatever.

11:57🔗 Adam You have my blessing.

11:58🔗 Hey, well, what about that?

11:59🔗 Adam I mean, what about drinking massive amounts of fluid, any kind of fluid? Yeah.

12:05🔗 Drew I mean, that might dilute somewhat the concentration in the urine, possibly. But this is the kind of thing that's metabolized from fat, and it's more an issue of his activity levels and his dietary intake, that kind of thing.

12:17🔗 All right.

12:19🔗 Adam Let's see. We'll go speak to Tony.

12:22🔗 Tony?

12:23🔗 Caller Hey, what's happening?

12:24🔗 You're 30.

12:24🔗 Adam What's up?

12:26🔗 Caller Well, I'm having trouble.

12:27🔗 I've been married about two years, and my wife's a great person, and I just have these urges to cheat on her. Nothing ever actually found it, or anybody in particular.

12:38🔗 Caller I just...

12:39🔗 Drew How old are you?

12:40🔗 I'm 30.

12:41🔗 Adam You've been married for two years. How long have you known her before that?

12:46🔗 About four years before we got married.

12:49🔗 Adam So you've been together for six years?

12:51🔗 Caller Right.

12:51🔗 Drew But you got together when you were in your early 20s though.

12:55🔗 Caller Right.

12:55🔗 Adam Yeah, 24. Hey, Drew, what are you doing? Drawing a turtle over there?

13:02🔗 Drew I'm writing notes about this guy because I don't have a damn computer screen in front of me like you do.

13:06🔗 Adam Oh, listen here, Technoass. I know what you're doing. You're doodling. I tell you to stop doing that every time you're in the studio.

13:13🔗 Drew Married times two years, four years dating, age 30 wants to cheat. That's what I wrote down.

13:17🔗 Adam All right.

13:18🔗 Caller Damn lying, you know it!

13:19🔗 Adam Do it in your head. I know what you've drawn. You've drawn Touche Turtle.

13:23🔗 Caller What's his name?

13:24🔗 Adam Tony.

13:24🔗 Caller Tony.

13:25🔗 Drew It was his sidekick, Dumb Dumb, I drew.

13:28🔗 Caller Tony, can I ask a question? Go ahead. Do you think that there's a possibility you're looking for some sort of excitement and adventure, something that takes you out of the ordinary, something that you can explore with somebody else and not be responsible towards?

13:46🔗 No, I don't think that's it. I'm pretty lucky. My wife is, she's very active. She satisfies all my needs.

13:53🔗 Drew Why do you have to sabotage this relationship? What's going on? Why is intimacy so hard for you?

13:57🔗 Well, I don't know. I guess I related to like, if you like steak, that's your favorite meal. So you're going to have steak every day for the rest of your life.

14:05🔗 Drew Why didn't you try chuck-round?

14:07🔗 Adam Why did you marry a sizzler then, you ate it?

14:09🔗 Drew Exactly. Why did you try the chuck-round earlier before you got married?

14:12🔗 Caller What about dressing up the steak a little different?

14:15🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm about to put a little holidays on that.

14:17🔗 Drew This isn't that. This is not that.

14:19🔗 Adam No, it isn't.

14:20🔗 Drew Is your family, is your parents' divorce?

14:22🔗 Oh, yeah.

14:23🔗 Drew And was it a nasty divorce?

14:25🔗 Yeah.

14:26🔗 Drew How old were you?

14:27🔗 I was young, 3.

14:29🔗 Drew And was it like a violent, awful divorce?

14:32🔗 Caller I suppose it was pretty violent.

14:34🔗 They, you know, always said bad things about each other.

14:37🔗 Adam And, you know, Arizona roll.

14:39🔗 Drew Well, I'm just getting picking up on he establishes intimacy, gets a marriage going, gets the relationship going, and then can't hang with it. It's it has to sabotage it. It's it's too much to be intimate over time for fear of this kind of thing happening to you, what you saw happening in a very delicate, vulnerable period in your life. You're convinced it's going to happen to this person you love now. They're going to leave.

14:59🔗 Adam Hey, Drew.

14:59🔗 Drew And you're going to make that happen.

15:01🔗 Adam Drew, where's your where's your computer? I don't want it to happen.

15:04🔗 Drew It's in my luggage somewhere.

15:05🔗 Adam That's right. It is. You see that? I've got a new, inspired, interested Drew.

15:10🔗 Drew I've got one of their computers in front of me.

15:11🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. But obviously you don't know how to work it because you're not buried in it like you are when you're here.

15:16🔗 Drew I've got it in front of me.

15:17🔗 Adam Okay. Relax over there, would you? Listen, he hasn't done anything yet. And if he was out to sabotage, he would have done something. He's not. But he's thinking about it. All guys think this way. Tony, these are natural thoughts. The thing is, is you can't let them progress. You understand?

15:37🔗 Right. I don't go out clubbing. I don't go out.

15:40🔗 Adam Right. Okay. Well, then you're just having the same thoughts all guys have. Why don't you get into a little therapy and work out some of these feelings? That could happen. You don't have... It could?

15:51🔗 Drew No.

15:51🔗 Adam Tony, why not? Do they like guys named Tony in therapy?

15:55🔗 Drew That's why not.

15:56🔗 Adam Tony, do a little therapy, work out some of these problems. Because otherwise, you'll never be happy, even if you're on top of someone else.

16:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

16:06🔗 Adam All right. Good. Do you have any kids? Yeah.

16:09🔗 Drew Okay.

16:09🔗 Adam All right. Come on.

16:10🔗 Drew Come on.

16:11🔗 Adam Hey, Drew?

16:12🔗 Drew Yeah.

16:13🔗 Adam Relax over there.

16:14🔗 Drew You know what it is? I've got a great system here in terms of the sound qualities coming through and all.

16:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

16:20🔗 Drew It's easy to overwhelm you.

16:21🔗 Adam I guess so. But I'm not used to your participation in the show this way. You're usually distracted and off somewhere else.

16:30🔗 Drew This is like a dysfunctional marriage where I can't win.

16:32🔗 Adam That's right.

16:33🔗 Drew I can't win. All right. Too little, too much.

16:36🔗 Adam Oh, please, please. You're either a rumpled stilt skin over here or you're some kind of auctioneer. Now, come on. Let's strike a balance, buddy.

16:46🔗 All right.

16:46🔗 Adam Relax. Go back to the phone.

16:48🔗 Caller Sarah?

16:49🔗 Adam Hello? You're 14. You're on with Debra Wilson and Mo Collins from Mad TV. Saturday night's 11 o'clock. Let's get some comedy stuff to do.

16:56🔗 Caller Go ahead.

16:57🔗 Hello?

16:57🔗 Adam Hello?

16:58🔗 Yeah.

16:58🔗 Adam Okay, Sarah.

17:00🔗 Well, my sister, she's 15. And she and her boyfriend, they broke up. And well, they were broken up for like two weeks. So she moved with my grandmother and I ended up sleeping with her boyfriend. He's 16. Where is she?

17:14🔗 Adam Yes. Yes.

17:16🔗 And then just like a couple days ago, they just got back together.

17:22🔗 Drew How old is he?

17:24🔗 What?

17:24🔗 Adam He's 16.

17:25🔗 Drew And you're how old?

17:26🔗 Adam 14.

17:26🔗 Yeah.

17:27🔗 Oh, boy.

17:28🔗 Caller Does she know?

17:30🔗 What?

17:30🔗 Caller Does she know that you slept with him?

17:33🔗 And I don't think he's going to tell her because he wouldn't have gone back together.

17:37🔗 Adam All right.

17:37🔗 Drew You want to be with him, don't you?

17:40🔗 Yeah.

17:41🔗 Drew Yeah. That's the whole drill here.

17:43🔗 Adam Now you're going to tell somebody, right?

17:44🔗 Drew Right.

17:45🔗 Right.

17:47🔗 Adam Are you going to tell someone, Sarah?

17:50🔗 Caller I don't know.

17:51🔗 Adam I think you're going... Here's the point. When you do something like this, you normally... your answer is, oh my God, no, I would die if anyone found out. The fact that you're sort of ambivalent about it to me says that you're probably going to find a way to let her find out about it in hopes that they'll break up. So that you can somehow get in there. Wouldn't you say that's a fair estimation of your situation, Sarah?

18:17🔗 Drew Every 14-year-old I've ever spoken to who has had sex with some older guy believes this is the guy they're going to marry.

18:23🔗 Believes it.

18:24🔗 Adam Drew, you want to tell a story about having sex with a 19-year-old when you were 14 and the guy you wanted to marry?

18:31🔗 Drew I got over it.

18:32🔗 Adam Okay, I don't think you are, buddy. Sarah?

18:35🔗 Uh-huh.

18:36🔗 Adam Okay, listen. I don't know how we're going to talk you out of this, but don't tell him.

18:41🔗 Or her. Her?

18:42🔗 My sister?

18:43🔗 Adam Don't tell your sister.

18:44🔗 Okay.

18:45🔗 Adam And now, here's the promise I want you to make me, Sarah. Not only do I want you not to tell your sister, but I don't want you to do anything stupid that's going to let her find out in a very obvious way. Like tell her best friend and then tell her best friend not to tell her, which of course we all know means her best friend is going to tell her. And then you'll have a polite excuse, but you won't because we'll know what the truth is.

19:08🔗 Caller Well, actually my mom, she already knows.

19:12🔗 Adam Oh, how's your mom already know?

19:15🔗 Caller Because I spent the night and when I came home, my mom asked me where I was at and I told her I'm at my sister's friend's house and then she was like, no, because my grandma, she's really overprotective. She sent the cops over and then they're like, no, you did it. And then later on, my mom got it out because they couldn't find my sister's boyfriend.

19:32🔗 Adam She sent the cops over there?

19:34🔗 Caller Yeah, because my grandma, she just wanted it. I'm on probation.

19:38🔗 Drew I'm going to address grandma's 42.

19:39🔗 Adam You're on probation?

19:41🔗 Caller What do you want probation for?

19:43🔗 Caller For fighting.

19:44🔗 Adam Okay.

19:44🔗 Caller I got expelled from my school.

19:46🔗 Adam Hey, screwball, listen to me. Listen to me, god damn it. You know how much money I paid in taxes last year so your screwball grandma could send the cops all over the town chasing their own tails? You know how much I spend on your ass? You straighten up. I'm tired of it. I get in charge. I'll put you in a hole, throw a tiger down there with you. I don't got time for you troublemakers. You start reading and writing and learn your math and go off to college somewhere, stop having indiscriminate sex with your sister's boyfriend and stop getting into trouble. You hear me? I'm tired of you being a burden on the system.

20:24🔗 Where is your dad?

20:26🔗 Caller In Palm Springs.

20:27🔗 Adam Fantastic. Why are there only males around that house or the cops who show up once a week?

20:33🔗 Caller My stepdad's in jail.

20:34🔗 Adam Well, there you go.

20:35🔗 Caller I have it.

20:36🔗 Adam Oh, I'll tell you. I like to get hold of you. How old is your grandma? Thirty-seven?

20:40🔗 Caller No, she's like fifty-something.

20:43🔗 Adam Fifty-something. My mom's forty. I swear. How many kids does your grandma have?

20:51🔗 Caller One. She would have fourteen, but they all died.

20:55🔗 What?

20:57🔗 Caller They all died in her stomach.

20:59🔗 Adam They all died in her stomach?

21:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

21:01🔗 Adam Except for they were in their teens. That's the only twist on that one. Wait a minute. She miscarried thirteen times?

21:11🔗 Drew Was she doing drugs or something?

21:12🔗 Caller No. She overdosed stuff, and when she has a headache, she makes it turn, and she has to go to the hospital and stuff. That's how I moved out.

21:22🔗 Adam Oh. Oh. that. Can you have a... Is there... How many miscarriages can you have, Drew?

21:30🔗 Drew I guess every few months you can have one.

21:33🔗 Adam All right. Sarah, listen to me, sweetie. You're fourteen. Don't turn out like your mom and your grandma and like whatever your sister might turn out. Stop the chaos. You know what I mean? Sleeping with the boyfriends and the cops and the... Can you stop all that? You know what I mean? I know your dad's an idiot and your stepdad did something to you before he went to jail and now the whole life is just going to be one big acting out thing and men are going to mean something weird to you and it's all a mess. But can you stop acting out at least? Can you not get pregnant? Can you stay in school? Can you...

22:09🔗 Caller My sister is pregnant but it's not from her boyfriend. It's my friend.

22:14🔗 Adam I'll tell you. All right. Hey, Sarah. Please. Where do you live?

22:19🔗 Caller In Rancho.

22:20🔗 Adam Oh, in Rancho. You're in Southern California? I'm moving to Canada. You're coming with me. You understand? I'll get you some Knorr plant. I'm going to take you to Canada. I'm going to raise you like my own. Sarah, I do not get pregnant. Do you hear me?

22:36🔗 Caller Okay.

22:38🔗 Adam Okay. Don't tell your sister and don't get pregnant. I don't even care. Forget about... I don't even care if you go to junior college in your life. Don't get pregnant. I... When I'm in charge, I'm going to come... Drew, you know, I keep threatening to take power, but I swear I will go to her and I'll put Norplant in her. I'll go listen.

22:58🔗 Caller But it's not just about...

22:59🔗 Adam I've seen the future. I know, but I don't have enough... There's not enough resources. Yes, she needs counseling and she needs everything.

23:05🔗 Caller No, that's not what I was about to say. Yes, we know that. We know a lot of children out here are troubled in those situations, but it's not just about saying, you know what, don't get pregnant. And so, Sarah, if you're listening, Sarah, if you're listening, let me tell you something. Every time you run, it's an experiment, and it's an experiment that's constantly going to fail because you're 14 years old, and you may think it's love, but you don't know what you have to offer yet until you find out what yourself is about. Away from the sex, away from those things, stay in school, start getting involved in extracurricular activities, find out what your passions are, find out what your joys are, Become a well-rounded human being so that when you're ready to get involved in a relationship when you get older, you have something to offer other than just your body.

24:15🔗 Adam All right, Debra, let me tell you a quick story. And Debra's 100% right. I still put the norplant in her because she's two wine coolers away from forgetting Debra's inspirational speech and having her sister's boyfriend hop on her again. But let me tell you a little story. I was going down that road when I was 14, 15 years old. Remember that, Drew? I told you about my troubled past. But then I discovered a passion, a passion for napping, a passion for masturbating. And all of a sudden, it cleared things up. I found something to do. I should do a PSA, Drew. People talk about sports or music. I talk about napping and masturbating.

24:50🔗 Drew It's something you never talk about.

24:51🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, I like to steer the young in that direction. If more kids could stay home, masturbate, nap, then may masturbate again and nap later. Think the utopia we'd be living in. They wouldn't be out on the streets. It wouldn't be rolling old people. They wouldn't be getting pregnant.

25:07🔗 Caller That's what I'm going to do on all my hiatus. That's what I'm doing.

25:09🔗 Caller Let's do that. All right.

25:10🔗 Adam Drew? Ah. You're over there in Minneapolis on the... I'm here. The mighty... Zone 105. The mighty Zone 105, our fabulous affiliate in Minnesota. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We have Debra Wilson and Mo Collins both here from Mad TV. We'll be back after this.

25:30🔗 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

25:33🔗 Caller Well, it's worth hearing. Hello, production.

25:48🔗 Hi, honey.

25:49🔗 Adam Hey, sweetie, what's up?

25:50🔗 The best news.

25:51🔗 Adam What?

25:52🔗 Caller Dad.

25:53🔗 Caller Dad? Me? How do you know?

25:55🔗 Caller The first response pregnancy test.

25:56🔗 Caller But you're just a day late.

25:58🔗 Caller That's how soon it works. Wow. First response. So advanced, it can be used as soon as the first day of your missed period. No at-home tests work sooner, and it's over 99% accurate in lab tests. Use as directed. See your doctor as recommended. How's the name Felicity? For a boy? No way. First response. Nobody tells you sooner.

26:18🔗 Caller I'm talking to a real-life Geico auto insurance customer, Jackie Gelman. Jackie, you filed a claim with Geico. How fast was it handled?

26:25🔗 It was fast.

26:26🔗 Caller As fast as a cheetah chasing a frightened antelope on the African plains, Jackie?

26:31🔗 Well, it was fast.

26:33🔗 Caller Voila! Claims handled as fast as a cheetah. Dinner time. Give or take a few antelope. One 15-minute call could save you 15% or more. Call 1-800-947-AUTO. 1-800-947-AUTO. Geico Direct. The sensible alternative.

27:09🔗 Adam Yep, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. Dr. Drew is over there in Minneapolis, but he's on the horn, aren't you?

27:17🔗 Drew I'm here, yeah.

27:19🔗 Adam Yeah, that's the horn.

27:20🔗 Caller I was telling him earlier that I was looking, you know I care about you.

27:24🔗 Adam Me?

27:24🔗 Caller Yeah, of course I do. We mean who you, as if you don't know that.

27:28🔗 Adam No, I didn't know.

27:29🔗 Caller You know I think the world of you. I don't see you that often, and it's always a pleasure and a blessing what I do. But I see Dr. Drew less often, and I admire him very much.

27:38🔗 Adam So hold on a second. What the hell is going on over there?

27:40🔗 Drew I'm so sorry. Isn't that nice?

27:44🔗 What is that?

27:48🔗 Drew It's one of those boom mic on a hinge, you know, on an elbow. And I collapsed the whole thing.

27:55🔗 Adam Jesus Christ, Debra is halfway into professing her love for me, and you got to open Count Dracula's coffin back there.

28:03🔗 Drew I got so excited. I didn't know what to do.

28:05🔗 Caller I'm just saying that I'm sorry that you're not here tonight, but it's a pleasure to at least be able to speak with you and do this tonight. But I was looking forward to hugging you.

28:14🔗 Adam I'll give him a nice hug when he comes back.

28:17🔗 Caller I'm still giving you one. You just can't feel it.

28:20🔗 Adam Are you going to be around tomorrow night or where are you going to be?

28:22🔗 Drew I'll be from here again tomorrow night.

28:24🔗 Adam Oh, really? All right, Sunday.

28:25🔗 Drew I'm like you, Adam. I go out and serve my time with our affiliates and get to know the people that we go to the communities we serve.

28:30🔗 Adam You shill yourself to the drug industry.

28:33🔗 Drew Oh, shut up.

28:34🔗 Adam You swing by and do a little glad handing to an affiliate on occasion. That's what it is. Don't try to put your spin on this thing. I'm going to give you a hug from Debra that it's going to include a full release on Sunday. Reach around when you come back on Sunday, all right?

28:51🔗 Drew What actually is full release?

28:53🔗 Adam You'll know. You'll know what it is when you release fully. Debra Wilson is here and so is Mo Collins.

28:59🔗 Caller When I release, I'll release fully?

29:01🔗 Caller Yes.

29:03🔗 Adam Yes, you will. Not like those three quarter ones your wife gives you. I'll give you a full release. All right? You'll never know what hits you. Saturday night, everyone, MADtv, 11 o'clock on Fox and we'll speak to Janine who's 17. Janine?

29:20🔗 Hello?

29:21🔗 Adam What's up?

29:22🔗 Hey, how are you, Adam?

29:23🔗 Adam Good.

29:24🔗 How's Drew?

29:25🔗 Adam Drew's good too.

29:26🔗 Okay. I went to a corn concert a couple of weeks ago and I met this guy who, I guess, goes to my school and I accepted a beer from him and about half an hour later, I started feeling kind of dizzy. I was like blacking out for like seconds at a time and I couldn't really keep my balance that well.

29:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:49🔗 And I was just feeling really nasty and kind of nauseated so he escorted me to go sit down at some seats and where I guess I passed out. And when I woke up, I was with my friends. They said it had been about half an hour since they found me and I'm like feeling okay now. And I've been seeing the guy at school. I think it's him. And I don't know if I should like confront him. I don't think I was like raped or violated at all.

30:20🔗 Drew How long did the effects last for?

30:22🔗 Pardon?

30:23🔗 Drew How long did the effects last for?

30:25🔗 I was feeling like kind of dizzy them like morning after, but I was okay.

30:30🔗 Adam Your friends woke you up and took you home.

30:32🔗 Yeah, yeah.

30:33🔗 Drew After what period of time were you unconscious, do you think?

30:37🔗 I'm not entirely sure. I think it was for about like 45 minutes, half an hour.

30:41🔗 Adam And where were you? Where was this? Anaheim?

30:44🔗 No, Oakland.

30:46🔗 Drew You know what I think is probably GHB?

30:48🔗 What's that?

30:50🔗 Drew Gamma-hydroxybutyrate. It's a chemical that's very similar to Valium-like drugs. A small thimble flow can really intoxicate people. It's a dangerous drug. We're starting to see addictions to it now. It's very commonly used in raves and in concerts. It's a date-rape drug. You can slip it in. It's relatively tasteless. People can put it in alcohol and whatnot. The problem with it is it's very difficult to dose. You can easily go from sort of low-level intoxication to coma and seizure and death. So somebody's endangering you by putting that in there.

31:19🔗 Adam And you want to stop at seizure, right? Right. Hey, listen, it's fine. She doesn't have any brain damage. The only long-term effect is your boob shrink and your ass gets bigger as you get older. Other than that, there shouldn't be any problems. You're 17, there's no problem.

31:34🔗 Caller Okay. And I've been like seeing him around. I don't know if I should confront him or report him to anybody. I mean, I have headaches occasionally. I don't know if it's related.

31:43🔗 Drew No, I don't think it has anything to do with that.

31:45🔗 Adam What do you reckon his plan was, though? I mean, if he gets you effed up and then he takes you to your seat or his seat and sits you down.

31:54🔗 Drew Adam, that's the kind of foreplay you generally engaged in, isn't it?

31:57🔗 Adam I usually just hit him with a frying pan.

32:00🔗 Caller Were there other people around when you were out?

32:03🔗 Caller Not really. It was kind of, I was like, I was kind of with my friends, but you know, everyone kind of gets separated in the whole big mess and I don't know.

32:10🔗 Adam But he took you down to his seats to sit down?

32:13🔗 Caller No, I don't know. There were just some like seats in the back. And we went down there. I mean, I would guess he was going to like do something to me. And I don't know what happened with his plan.

32:22🔗 Caller But when you woke up, you didn't feel any, any genital discomfort, did you?

32:25🔗 Caller No. So I don't think anything happened.

32:29🔗 Adam Yeah, but how was he going to do something in the middle of a concert?

32:32🔗 Caller I don't know. That's what I'm asking.

32:33🔗 Drew But Adam, that's my point. You would engage this kind of foreplay, right?

32:37🔗 Adam I would.

32:38🔗 Drew Yeah, you always said that you were in time, that if intoxication was...

32:41🔗 Adam Oh, well, yes, as the weasel said, juice them up and go. He just overshot it. No, I wouldn't. I never would drug anybody just like, come on, baby, have another wine cooler.

32:55🔗 Drew And the difference is...

32:57🔗 Adam The difference is they know they're drinking the wine cooler, you idiot.

33:01🔗 Caller OK.

33:01🔗 Adam And sure, I put a little Spanish fly in there every once in a while, but that didn't work.

33:06🔗 Caller And here's my question to you. If you felt like you confronted him, what kind of answer would you expect from this person? Did you honestly expect this person to apologize? Or did you expect him to deny it? What was your expectation?

33:20🔗 Caller I don't know. That's just kind of why I was asking. I wouldn't expect him. I don't know. I just kind of wanted some...

33:27🔗 Adam Here would be my take, Janine. It's not worth confronting him because he's not going to say anything. I have no idea what you're talking about. Number two, if I were you, I wouldn't even think that I was drugged. I would not go through life that way. I just think you had a beer and God knows maybe you did too many pushups that morning or something. But listen, at the same time, don't take any more drugs.

33:48🔗 Caller Exactly. Don't do that again.

33:49🔗 Adam Guys who handed to you.

33:50🔗 Caller You came out on top this time. Yeah. You won that one.

33:53🔗 Caller Allow that to be some healthy closure for you. Don't do it again.

33:55🔗 Adam I wish she won't get me drugged up every once in a while.

33:58🔗 Caller No, you don't. No, you don't. No, you don't.

34:00🔗 Really?

34:01🔗 Caller You really don't.

34:02🔗 Adam No, like some girl?

34:04🔗 Caller No, no, well, if it were me, it'd be a controlled environment. So that'd be fine.

34:08🔗 Yeah.

34:09🔗 Adam What would that environment be? Your van?

34:11🔗 Caller You'd be surprised what environment I'd take you to.

34:15🔗 Drew Let's talk to Claude, who's 16. How about that?

34:17🔗 Adam Oh, wait, Drew, what's up? I was trying to figure out what environment.

34:20🔗 Drew I'm taking control. You're no good at this.

34:21🔗 Adam Debra and I were going to. I was trying to figure out where we're going. All right? Well, listen, I thought maybe the batting cage or something like that, you know, somewhere. Sorry, you know, we could have a good time, but then I could take a few cuts.

34:35🔗 Caller Sure.

34:36🔗 Adam Have a good time. Claude?

34:38🔗 Caller Hey, mayonnaise.

34:39🔗 Adam Hey, that's my name.

34:40🔗 Caller What's up?

34:41🔗 Adam That's my ramp name.

34:42🔗 Caller Mayonnaise.

34:42🔗 Adam Man-Aze.

34:44🔗 Caller Got it.

34:44🔗 Caller That's my may-may mayonnaise.

34:47🔗 Adam That's Snoop. He knows who mayonnaise is.

34:49🔗 Caller I actually have a friend named Mayo. One name Mayo and one name cat food.

34:53🔗 Caller Really?

34:53🔗 Caller Yeah. One name Mayo and they're listening tonight. So hi Mayo and hey cat food.

34:58🔗 Adam But that's not their Christian name. Is it a cat food? Stone must have, their parents have been. Claude?

35:06🔗 Caller Hey, what's up, Drew?

35:07🔗 Adam What's up?

35:07🔗 Drew Hey, Claude.

35:09🔗 Caller Well, I think my girlfriend's breasts are like shrinking.

35:12🔗 Drew What do you mean?

35:13🔗 Caller Like they're like, look smaller now than they were.

35:17🔗 Drew Did she lose weight?

35:18🔗 Adam You're just used to them. That's all.

35:20🔗 Caller And I think she has an eating disorder.

35:22🔗 Adam Oh, all right.

35:23🔗 Drew Well, she's losing weight. Absolutely. People get eating disorders. They will lose breasts ultimately because that's fatty tissue. They'll lose a lot of their sort of female characteristics and they'll start having no period.

35:36🔗 Caller All right. And do you know anybody that I could go like tell her to go see or something?

35:40🔗 Adam What's she doing?

35:41🔗 Caller Like, I mean, like she like for her eating disorder.

35:44🔗 Drew She's anorectic, right?

35:45🔗 Caller Yeah, I think so.

35:47🔗 Drew How old is she?

35:48🔗 Caller 16.

35:48🔗 Drew And where are you calling from?

35:50🔗 Caller San Diego.

35:51🔗 Adam How much does she weigh?

35:52🔗 Caller I'm like 100 pounds.

35:55🔗 Drew You should refer to the Scripps Department of Psychiatry.

35:58🔗 Caller All right.

35:59🔗 Adam How tall is she?

36:00🔗 Caller What?

36:01🔗 Adam How tall is she?

36:02🔗 Caller Like 5'3.

36:04🔗 Adam How do you know what she's doing? I don't know. Well, is she not eating?

36:08🔗 Caller She like says she's like already ate before she left when there we go or something.

36:12🔗 Adam All right.

36:14🔗 Caller Hey, don't tell her her boobs look smaller either. That's not going to help anything.

36:18🔗 Caller Yeah, because anorexia is it. And please help me out here, Dr. Drew, that it's an emotional disorder as well.

36:25🔗 Drew Oh, and purely.

36:27🔗 Caller And it definitely affects the self esteem. So if you tell her that they're smaller, it's going to make her withdraw even more.

36:35🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, you got to get her some help. That's all. Claude is the guy to do it.

36:39🔗 Drew Very high fatality rate with these diseases. She's 16. Just getting into this. She needs help immediately.

36:43🔗 Adam All right. Before we take a break, let me just speak to what Josh is 14. He looks at other guys in the bathroom. Wants to know if that's a problem. Josh? Josh?

36:55🔗 Caller Yeah?

36:56🔗 Adam You look at other guys in the bathroom?

36:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:58🔗 Adam I just did that today, and my friend yelled at me. Who? Daniel.

37:03🔗 How gay are you?

37:05🔗 Drew What do you mean? What was he doing?

37:07🔗 Adam We went to a restaurant. He said, I'm going to wash my hands before we ate. And I said, yeah, I'm going to wash my hands too. And we got up, we both headed into the bathroom together. He was a couple steps in front of me and he was taking a leak when I opened the door. And it's one of these like Middle Eastern places. I don't know if you guys know about Middle Easterns and their sense of style, but they like to put mirrors everywhere, even in the bathroom. There's mirrors on every wall.

37:35🔗 Caller Like you're a mirror.

37:39🔗 Adam Mirror on the ceiling, mirror on the floor. I don't know what is up with these people. What is up with these people? You know, they're putting pubic hair on statues. They have no decorum at all. So I walk in the door and as I open the door, I'm staring at a mirror, which is just to the side of the urinal, which is reflecting what his penis is in. His penis has surrounded me in this bathroom now because it's nothing but like a funhouse.

38:04🔗 Caller You can't help but look at it.

38:05🔗 Caller That's why they put them up there.

38:07🔗 Drew A Hitchcock film.

38:08🔗 Adam Yeah, I open the door and I'm like, Did you shoot at it?

38:11🔗 Caller Did you fire at it?

38:15🔗 Adam I saw the penis. I was like, Hey, Daniel, wow, nice penis. You know, and he's like, Hey, what are you looking at? I can't help it. And he's like, All right, stop looking at my penis. And I said, You know, do you have to take your nuts out too when you pee? You know, I mean, don't you just take your penis out? Why do you take your nuts out too? And he's like, Stop looking at my penis. I'm like, Well, tell me why you take your nuts and your penis out just to urinate.

38:37🔗 Caller But that scares me that you would want to ask that question.

38:39🔗 Adam Yeah, it was I found it distracting. He wasn't holding it right. He had his hand around his nuts, not his penis. You know what I'm saying, Drew?

38:49🔗 Drew Yeah, it sounds bizarre. But now, don't you appreciate our relationship?

38:52🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah.

38:53🔗 Drew It's very easy when we go and pee together.

38:55🔗 Adam That's right. I always look at Drew's dork too when he's next to me in the airport. You really got to get out there and start checking out penis.

39:03🔗 Caller All right.

39:04🔗 Adam We're going to take a little break. Josh?

39:06🔗 Caller Yeah?

39:06🔗 Adam I'll explain to you in even more detail why it's okay for you to check out the junk.

39:11🔗 Caller All right?

39:12🔗 Drew Hey, I'm going to be in the relationship chat room at drdrew.com. If people have questions they want to get through on the air, can't get through on the phones, it's the drdrew.com one word relationship chat.

39:21🔗 Caller All right.

39:21🔗 Adam I'm going to be in the Westwood One bathroom.

39:23🔗 Drew I'll miss you.

39:24🔗 Caller All right.

39:24🔗 Adam I'll be back after this.

39:29🔗 Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

39:31🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191 This is Love Line on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

39:54🔗 Adam It's Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Forget about the fax number. Our guest tonight from Mad TV, Debra... What the hell is Debra? Debra Wells. Mo Collins. I have the world's worst habit. I get to the show, I'm strung out, I'm tired. I've been working all day on The Man Show, by the way, which is on right now on Comedy Central. So you guys may want to just shut the radio show and go ahead and tune in to Comedy Central and watch that. But I come here, I've been drinking coffee all day. I never get enough sleep. I'm tired. I can't remember anything. And then I have my little notepad. And my little notepad has a few beats on it, name of the show, time it's on, name of the guest, things like that. But then through the course of show, I tend to doodle on it so that it's really it's not recognizable.

40:45🔗 Caller Now, I would have a great time with that.

40:48🔗 Adam Deborah is, is Deborah's mic? Yeah, now it's gone. Yes. I know Mad TV and Deborah and most so it's all right. But sometimes I get myself in the trouble when it's some band I never heard of or something. And there's eight guys in here and I've doodled all over everyone's name and the name of the album and all that stuff. So Drew. Hey, Drew, let me let me bring you bring bring this point up again. Yeah. Do not get so deep into your webcast. There's a noticeable difference between when you're distracted and when you're not, because the first break you weren't into it and you're all over it. And now you're into it.

41:26🔗 Drew You're so screwed up about it. The first break, actually, I was I had three guys here working on this thing, trying to get it set up.

41:31🔗 Adam Right.

41:32🔗 Drew I was totally involved in doing that.

41:33🔗 Adam But it was not set up. You were not reading it and you were not corresponding I was reading like crazy trying to figure out how to set the damn thing up.

41:42🔗 Drew I was completely involved in that.

41:43🔗 Adam No, you were not. Yes, I was. You were not dealing with somebody who was on the other line and who was on your website. You may be trying to mechanically hook it up. You weren't monitoring it like you normally are. There's a noticeable difference. You don't notice it because you're immersed in your computer. Hmm. Listen, I'm telling you, it's a big difference. Stop doing it. Okay, hold on a second. I got to spare the guess for just a second. Drew? Remember we were talking about this, your computer? Drew? Drew? Hey, Drew? Drew, don't screw with me because I'll leave this goddamn show and that's all you got. I got five other gigs. You understand? Your wife will kill you before the tax man does. You are my man. Now listen to me, screwball. You got this computer thing going and we agreed that you can't look through it, the whole goddamn show, because it's too distracting, because you get immersed in it. So we thought, all right, we'll take some questions from it, but that never went down that way. You stayed buried in it the whole show.

42:58🔗 Drew If that's what we want to do, we'll do it that way. That's fine.

43:00🔗 Adam Well, that's the way we... What do you mean? That's the way we agreed to do it.

43:02🔗 Drew That's fine. If I think it's the appropriate place to talk about it, we off the air, but that's fine.

43:07🔗 Adam Well, first off, we never talk off the air, because you're too busy with your wife.

43:13🔗 Caller Do I suspect a little jealousy?

43:15🔗 Caller No!

43:17🔗 Adam And your friends, your lily white friends from Pasadena. Now, listen to me, Drew. We've discussed this. Do you understand?

43:26🔗 Drew Okay.

43:26🔗 Adam All right. And what was our agreement?

43:29🔗 Drew I'll go with 10 minutes of this, then I'll shut it down. That's fine.

43:31🔗 Adam What was our agreement?

43:32🔗 Drew I'm not sure. I didn't understand that there was an agreement, but if that's it, I understand it, and that'll be that.

43:36🔗 Adam No, our agreement is, is because it's too distracting for you to keep your face buried in it the entire show that we would just take 10 minutes and take some calls from it, or take some questions from it. That way you get your drdrew.com plug-in and you get to have your computer, and we get some questions. It helps the show, but you can't keep it open the whole show. What if I just brought a computer in here and just kept it open the whole show, looking at model airplane websites?

44:03🔗 Drew That would be good for you.

44:04🔗 Adam Okay, look at me. You can't even answer, you can't even debate he's so busy with his computer. Please. Drew?

44:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

44:12🔗 Adam Come on, stop that. Get your head in the game. Now, where was I?

44:16🔗 Drew Wasn't he complaining a half an hour ago that I was too involved?

44:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

44:19🔗 Drew What he's yelling me about before.

44:21🔗 Adam All right, but that was that was in a sharp contrast to the last month where you've had your head buried in a computer and you haven't said a word. It just threw me off. Oh, I've now compensated for you and drdrew.com by having to come in here and say an extra 5,000 syllables a night.

44:37🔗 Caller You hear me?

44:39🔗 Adam Stop making me do all the work. Yeah. Drew? Yeah. Or I'll just get paid more, one or the other.

44:49🔗 Drew So Adam, a half hour ago when I was speaking more, that was not good.

44:53🔗 Adam That was fine. You were passionate. You were involved. I haven't seen you that way in a month. It was noticeable.

45:01🔗 Drew Then let's do more of that. That's fine.

45:03🔗 Adam I've been asking for you to do that, but you will not shut your goddamn computer during the show. You stare at it. You drift off into it. And you don't know you're doing it. So either let's devote 10 minutes to it and then shut the thing down.

45:19🔗 Caller All right? Well, back to the point.

45:21🔗 Adam All right. Yeah. And I got to feel like an a-hole for being right all the time. That's going to be the name of my book. Diane? Hello? Mr. Passive aggressive over there. Give me that crap. You're 28. What's up?

45:36🔗 Caller Yes. I love MADtv, despise the man show, however.

45:41🔗 Just wondering if I...

45:43🔗 Adam I must put her on hold for a second. All right. All right. Go ahead, Diane.

45:47🔗 Caller I was just wondering if it was strange if I was dating a 19-year-old.

45:52🔗 Adam You're 28?

45:53🔗 Caller Yes.

45:54🔗 Adam Yes.

45:55🔗 Caller Why?

45:56🔗 Adam Are you divorced?

45:57🔗 Drew No.

45:57🔗 Adam You've never been married?

45:59🔗 Drew Did you just get out of a big relationship? No.

46:02🔗 Caller But you obviously have questions about it, otherwise you wouldn't have called. Do you obviously have doubts about it yourself? Otherwise, you wouldn't have put yourself in a public place to find out what's going on.

46:11🔗 Caller Right. I don't know. I'm just wondering if it was socially unacceptable. Half my friends say it's cool.

46:20🔗 Drew Look, it's not about being socially acceptable. It's what is good or is not good or healthy for you.

46:25🔗 Adam Right?

46:26🔗 Drew And if somebody, an 18-year-old, a 19-year-old, a 28-year-old are different places in their lives.

46:30🔗 Caller The thing is, though, is all the guys my age are complete slut.

46:35🔗 Adam What?

46:36🔗 Caller No.

46:39🔗 Drew Did you know what we're saying? That you've been hurt by somebody and that's why you've looked for somebody who's more of a toy and less of a real person to you.

46:46🔗 Caller I don't look at him, look at him as a toy, though.

46:48🔗 Adam No, but listen to me.

46:49🔗 Caller But you're looking at other men that are your age in one general perspective and have that perspective you had to have gone through some experience.

46:55🔗 Caller Do you miss being 19 yourself?

46:59🔗 Caller No, well, I don't know. Maybe.

47:02🔗 Adam All right, listen, here's the easy answer to this. Anytime we talk to someone who's dating someone considerably younger or of course-

47:10🔗 Drew Something happened.

47:11🔗 Adam Or-

47:11🔗 Drew Something happened.

47:12🔗 Adam No, not necessarily. It's just, it's a way to escape intimacy. You're dating someone- Yeah, okay, it's something.

47:17🔗 Drew It's almost always, yeah.

47:18🔗 Adam All right.

47:19🔗 Caller Are you looking to just to have fun and have a good time with this person?

47:22🔗 Caller No, we're pretty serious.

47:23🔗 Adam Okay, so do you want to get married?

47:26🔗 Caller Yeah, probably, eventually.

47:27🔗 Adam All right.

47:28🔗 Drew Does he? At 19?

47:30🔗 Caller I don't know, not now, but perhaps later.

47:33🔗 Drew When he's 30?

47:35🔗 I don't know.

47:36🔗 Adam Well, where do you think he's at? Do you have any idea where he's at?

47:40🔗 Caller He says that's what he's interested in in a few years.

47:44🔗 Adam How long have you been dating him?

47:47🔗 Three months.

47:48🔗 Adam Okay, and anything we should know about with you?

47:52🔗 Caller Such as?

47:53🔗 I don't know. Where's your date history?

47:55🔗 Caller Oh, I guess through the whole plethora of date rapes, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I've been through all that.

48:03🔗 Adam All right. Well, that sheds some light on it.

48:05🔗 Caller All right.

48:05🔗 Adam Okay.

48:06🔗 Caller It's just, seriously, I mean, guys my own age are just horn dogs.

48:12🔗 Caller No, you haven't found someone outside of that, but that's not true at all.

48:16🔗 What do you mean?

48:17🔗 Adam Guys at 19 are hornier than guys at 28. What are you talking about?

48:21🔗 Caller But it's not the horniness, though. It's like guys my age don't know how to love. It's like they've already been tamed.

48:27🔗 Caller And you expect a 19-year-old to know that?

48:29🔗 Adam Guys your age don't know how to love. But 19-year-olds, oh.

48:34🔗 Caller Yeah, seriously.

48:35🔗 Caller Are you going to try and save him from becoming one of those sluts?

48:39🔗 Caller I don't know. Maybe it's...

48:40🔗 Caller You know what I mean? Keep him fresh for yourself.

48:42🔗 Drew Look, both Adam and I have been 19 and have 19-year-old friends, and I promise you, whatever happens at 28 is much worse at 19.

48:51🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, you know how to love at 19, but you don't know how to love at 28. It's ridiculous. But anyway, listen, Diane, have fun. I hope things work out for you. But understand, you know, the date rape and the dad and all that, whatever it is we didn't get into, but you alluded to, that's probably more powerful than the 19-year-old at this point. So you should look into that. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be back after this.

49:39🔗 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz. Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

49:48🔗 KQBZ.

49:57🔗 Adam All right, we're going to take ourselves a ten-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the program in just ten seconds.

50:03🔗 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

50:11🔗 Caller Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz airs this program in its raw, unedited format.

50:18🔗 Caller It may be inappropriate for mature audiences.

50:22🔗 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, Debra Wilson and Mo Collins are our guests tonight. They are from MADtv, Saturday night, 11 o'clock on Fox. And we are going to go and speak to, did you guys pick a call?

50:37🔗 Caller I'm going to leave that up to you.

50:39🔗 Drew Ezra 17.

50:40🔗 Adam I told you guys to pick some calls here.

50:42🔗 Drew Ezra 17.

50:43🔗 Adam Oh, look at Drew, everybody's computer shut. What's up there, Ezra?

50:48🔗 Not much.

50:49🔗 Adam All right, what do you want?

50:50🔗 Caller Hurry.

50:51🔗 Well, I've been seeing this girl for about three weeks now and she's 19 and she's like, she's like got her whole life ahead of her and everything and it's all planned out. She plans to be married by 21 and have her first kid by 23 and I'm not really ready for that.

51:10🔗 Caller And neither is she, she's teasing herself.

51:14🔗 Adam It has been three weeks, so you're going to have to kind of commit one way or the other, Ezra.

51:18🔗 Drew Have you been with her three weeks?

51:20🔗 Yeah, I'm just not ready.

51:22🔗 Adam You've been with her three weeks, idiot? Yeah. Okay, start listening. Please.

51:28🔗 Drew You just don't want to be with her really, do you? I mean, she's got her own little sort of agenda going and you're not going to be part of that.

51:34🔗 Adam It's the most retarded question I've ever heard in my life, though, Ezra. You've been with her for three weeks. You think you have to commit to some sort of marriage at this point?

51:42🔗 No, she plans to be married by 21 and I'm not ready for any of that.

51:47🔗 Caller Well, it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with you. She has an agenda, whether you're with her or not. If it were somebody else, she'd still have that agenda. So don't take it personally. If you don't feel comfortable in a situation, you need to get out. And then let me tell you something. There's no way that you're going to say something to her without hurting her because when somebody has a plan in their mind and someone doesn't fit it, they're going to get hurt. And your bottom line is this. You have a choice. You can stay in it and get trapped in a situation that doesn't suit you, is not comfortable or healthy for you, or you can get out and let her get hurt and get over it because her gender is already set.

52:18🔗 Caller She sets herself up for disappointment with those kinds of things.

52:22🔗 Adam All right, Ezra. Listen, don't get confused here, buddy, and don't get her pregnant.

52:27🔗 Caller Yeah, boy.

52:28🔗 Adam All right. Are you guys having sex?

52:31🔗 Caller No.

52:31🔗 Adam Huh?

52:32🔗 Caller No.

52:33🔗 Caller No.

52:34🔗 Adam Well, why is it you're worried about marriage and stuff?

52:38🔗 Drew Listen, if you like her, I don't know if she must have been pushing that right as soon as they got in the relationship.

52:43🔗 Adam She might just be talking. I mean, who the hell knows? Ezra, if you like her, just relax, take it slow and work on them. That's all.

52:50🔗 Drew All right.

52:50🔗 Adam Let's knock off a couple that have been on hold for a while. Michael. Michael. Uh-oh.

52:57🔗 Drew Michael's 15 up your sleeve.

53:00🔗 Adam Yeah. I wonder where he's calling from.

53:01🔗 Caller Yeah, but he's going to wake up pretty soon.

53:03🔗 Adam He woke up in the middle of the night hallucinating. That's his question.

53:06🔗 Caller He'll be up soon.

53:07🔗 Adam Yeah. He'll be having a Vietnam flashback any second now.

53:14🔗 Caller And Dr. True, even though he's not on the air, and have you had cases or heard of cases where people wake up hallucinating without the drugs?

53:21🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. All the time. It's there's various sort of versions of this. Some of them are associated with night terrors. Some of them are these sort of locked in syndromes people get. Others are very vivid sort of flashbacks. It depends what his history is. Josh, some of them are seizures.

53:37🔗 Adam Josh, you're 30. What's up?

53:39🔗 Caller I want to know if it's still safe for me to have sex with my pregnant wife.

53:43🔗 Caller How pregnant is she?

53:45🔗 Caller About two months now.

53:47🔗 Caller Go for it. Let me just tell you, that is possibly one of the best times to have sex with your wife.

53:54🔗 Drew You mean pregnant?

53:55🔗 Caller Yes.

53:56🔗 Caller There was a little bit of bleeding and I don't think I'm getting a straight answer from the doctor. So I was just curious if there's anything.

54:03🔗 Adam You probably just caught the kid in the eye or something.

54:06🔗 Drew Have they done an ultrasound recently on her?

54:09🔗 Caller What?

54:10🔗 Drew Have they done an ultrasound recently on her?

54:12🔗 Caller Yeah, just about a week ago.

54:14🔗 Drew How do things look?

54:15🔗 Caller Everything looks fine.

54:16🔗 Drew Is the placenta in the right place?

54:20🔗 Caller Yeah, it's in the right place. It's a little bit low.

54:23🔗 Drew Do they think that that might be what's causing the bleeding?

54:25🔗 Caller That's what, well, they, yeah, they said that that might be it. They don't really know for sure.

54:29🔗 Drew Okay, but that's kind of a big deal. You got to clarify, that's the one situation which you might not want to be having sex. In general, if there are no problems with the pregnancy, you can have sex right on through to the end.

54:39🔗 Adam Right, until you see-

54:40🔗 Drew Long as there's no preterm labor, long as there's no-

54:41🔗 Adam My other head is poking out. Yeah. Mo Collins, our guest tonight, was telling us that while she was actually up in the stirrups actually delivering, her husband was in there. He misinterpreted.

54:53🔗 Drew But it's true that later in the pregnancy-

54:56🔗 Adam Once he gets the video camera out, he figures it's time to perform.

55:00🔗 Drew Women get more stimulated later in the pregnancy.

55:02🔗 Caller It is fan-tastic.

55:04🔗 Adam Hey, Josh, why don't you think the doctor is being straight with you? What does that mean?

55:08🔗 Caller Well, okay, I asked the question, is it okay for me to have sex with her? Am I the one that's causing it? And the answer was, well, I don't know.

55:17🔗 Drew Yeah, he doesn't know, but he didn't- What did he say about not having sex?

55:22🔗 Caller He said, well, you might consider not having it.

55:24🔗 Drew Okay, that would be safer.

55:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

55:28🔗 Drew Where is the confusion here?

55:29🔗 Caller But do other things. Listen, if you can't put your penis inside of her though, do those other things. Yes. Because she is just raging with the hormones. Man, she is-

55:39🔗 Adam Put your foot in there.

55:40🔗 Drew Anywhere you touch her. She's feeling like a guy does every day.

55:43🔗 Caller Yeah. And she needs to be touched a lot too. There's a lot going on.

55:47🔗 Adam So Mo, give us some good concrete examples of why it's so different when you're pregnant than when you're not pregnant sexually.

55:58🔗 Caller Well, your hormones are raging. I mean, your nipples, it's just like you can barely, you know, a wind passes and you just practically have an orgasm. You're more exposed down below for one thing.

56:12🔗 Drew There's pressure down there. Congestion building up.

56:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:16🔗 Caller Things open up a little bit so it's easier access on the clitoris if you will.

56:20🔗 Adam Nice.

56:21🔗 Caller Yeah. So, yeah, riding's a little easier.

56:25🔗 Adam Everything's better.

56:26🔗 Caller Everything is better, yeah.

56:27🔗 Adam And you were having sex how far before you gave birth?

56:30🔗 Caller Well, I pretty much right up to it.

56:32🔗 Adam Really?

56:34🔗 Yeah.

56:35🔗 Adam Nice. Honestly, yeah. What position do you get in at the end of it?

56:39🔗 Caller You know, it's good. Oh, listen, this is all I got.

56:41🔗 All right.

56:42🔗 Caller I'm going home and I'm going to get some tonight. No, honestly, it's a really cool thing from laying on your side because if she's on her side from and he's behind her.

56:54🔗 Right.

56:56🔗 Caller I'm telling you, the curves for him in the reach around, which you're going to become more familiar with.

57:02🔗 Adam Well, Drew will come Sunday.

57:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:04🔗 Adam Happy release.

57:05🔗 Caller But yeah.

57:06🔗 Drew Complete release.

57:07🔗 Adam Full release.

57:08🔗 Caller And because in that position too, it's just an easier, less stress actually on the inside of the woman.

57:16🔗 Adam I see. Oh, I see. Right.

57:18🔗 Caller Yeah, that's good.

57:19🔗 Caller In your delicate position there, if you're concerned at all about spotting or whatever.

57:23🔗 Adam See, it seems like you need a little more penis for that position though. I mean, you know, you put on a little weight with the pregnancy, your ass a little bigger than it was. Your husband must have a little bit of penis, you know. You have to kind of wrap around a little bit there.

57:37🔗 Caller I'm a happily married woman.

57:39🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

57:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:41🔗 Adam There's certain positions. Listen, if it pops out every other stroke, it means you're in the wrong position or you just don't have enough.

57:48🔗 Caller You don't even need as much because you're, like I was saying, the woman is more exposed there. So no matter what, it's like you just, you know.

57:54🔗 Adam I see. Yeah. You don't need penis doesn't have to be as long because the vagina is dragging down on the ground. It's interesting. Okay. I can see this. And you see, to me, Drew, this is where Drew really thinks I'm nuts. But to me, there's a weird emotional thing, feeling that mama thing, you know, it's like the belly's there, the kid's in there. Now you're doing God knows what to mama. It feels weird to me, but your husband had no problem with that.

58:19🔗 Caller But you got, yeah. And you got to remember that woman feels like goddess at that point. Yeah.

58:24🔗 Adam I could see. I could see getting into that.

58:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:27🔗 Adam A few glasses of wine. I could think I could get into that.

58:30🔗 Caller Sure.

58:30🔗 Caller The breasts are very voluptuous then. The nipples are changing and popping out. Yeah. They're just gorgeous.

58:37🔗 Adam I see why guys look at those magazines.

58:38🔗 Drew Why don't you guys just adjourn to another show? We'll have like a pregnancy line.

58:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:42🔗 Adam I'll tell you. You know what? Mo has swung me on this issue, Drew. I used to be against it. I'm now for it.

58:49🔗 Caller Have you ever had sex with a pregnant woman?

58:51🔗 Adam No. No. I have not, but I have multi-magazines at home that have depictions of young guys doing that.

58:59🔗 Caller I don't get the mother thing with it though, because wouldn't a guy feel awfully powerful in that considering that what he's holding are two of his greatest loves, the one that he knows and the one that he would catch him.

59:12🔗 Drew You are not thinking like a man.

59:13🔗 Caller Oh boy.

59:14🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm with you on that except for you're having sex and it's kind of, I don't know, it just adds a different dimension to me. I don't like to think that much when I'm having sex.

59:26🔗 Drew It's you know, Drew. Men don't think in terms of love. They think in terms of objectification.

59:33🔗 Adam That's right.

59:34🔗 Caller Well then check out all those lumps and humps and goodness.

59:37🔗 Adam All right. Hump that lump. Weldon, you're 19 years old. What's up?

59:43🔗 Caller Yeah. Hey, man. Well, first, I was going to ask Dr. Drew a question if that was OK.

59:50🔗 Yeah.

59:51🔗 Caller Hey, man. I live down here in Mississippi and like all these. I've got a lot of friends that do a lot of drugs and stuff and and they're always trying to get me to do shrooms and I I'm not real interested in it, but they say there's that they grow all over the place down here.

1:00:08🔗 Drew And I was, what's your question?

1:00:09🔗 Well, I was just kind of wondering like where we're at. Do they do they grow and stuff cow pies?

1:00:16🔗 Caller Cow crap.

1:00:17🔗 Really? Yeah, that's pretty gross.

1:00:20🔗 Adam Yeah, that's all right. Hey, Weldon. Yeah, you don't sound like your brain could take too much punishment.

1:00:27🔗 Caller You smoke a lot of pot too, don't you?

1:00:29🔗 Excuse me.

1:00:30🔗 Drew You smoke a lot of pot.

1:00:32🔗 Yeah, I do.

1:00:32🔗 Adam All right. That's enough. Listen to me. Listen to me. I hate to be cruel about it, but we've talked about this many times. Some people are smarter than others, and the people that are a little less intelligent should not be experimenting on themselves like their lab rat because you're going to go from dumb to retard in about five years. It's already tough enough going through life dumb, but going through as retard, now you're not going to be able to get even menial jobs. You really won't. If you got 180 IQ, you want to smoke a ton of weed and do a few shrooms and drop a little acid, knock yourself down to 155, fine. You go from a Russian chess champion to teaching math at the college level. I don't care, but if you're hovering around 65, 70 in the IQ department, you want to knock yourself down to Mongoloid, that I have a problem with. And that's the problem. Stupid people making themselves even dumber. That's my problem. I don't care if geniuses smoke pot. I really don't. So they're slightly, they don't shine. I don't care if geniuses get depressed. They'll invent, these are the people inventing drugs for depression because they're geniuses. You understand? I don't want the guys that are borderline retards knocking themselves down to the Tardo, into the Tardo bin. You see what I'm saying? And if you're having difficulty forming understandable sentences and one of the questions we do understand is can I do mushrooms? The answer is no. There you go. Alright.

1:02:09🔗 Drew Well put. Thank you very much.

1:02:12🔗 Caller Yes, Scott?

1:02:14🔗 Oh yeah, right here.

1:02:15🔗 Adam What's up buddy?

1:02:16🔗 I've discovered that I have these little itty bitty bumps on the base of my penis.

1:02:23🔗 Drew Are they like little around the hair follicles?

1:02:27🔗 They're right after that as you extend toward the penis.

1:02:31🔗 Drew Right. Those are probably the scrotum. Purly penile papules. Normal. Those are little hair follicles basically.

1:02:39🔗 Adam Everybody has those.

1:02:40🔗 This is past that.

1:02:42🔗 Drew I understand, but they're like sweat glands basically.

1:02:45🔗 Oh yeah, because then I found like three or four more on the underside near my tip more.

1:02:52🔗 Drew Are you sexually active?

1:02:53🔗 I've had oral sex within the last month or so.

1:02:58🔗 Adam Really?

1:02:59🔗 Drew But you've never had intercourse?

1:03:00🔗 No.

1:03:01🔗 Drew You're unlikely to be anything but the purly papules.

1:03:04🔗 Adam How's that work? Who gave you the BJ, Scott? In my day, it didn't work that way.

1:03:11🔗 Her name is Jennifer.

1:03:14🔗 Adam Okay. Now that clears it up.

1:03:17🔗 Caller Jennifer.

1:03:18🔗 Adam I'm going to write that down.

1:03:20🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:21🔗 Well, there, there.

1:03:22🔗 Adam That's a totally different thing, though. When I say who gave you the BJ, I mean like, is she your girlfriend, your co-worker? No, no, no.

1:03:30🔗 She was at a party.

1:03:31🔗 Adam At a party?

1:03:32🔗 At a party.

1:03:32🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:33🔗 Caller So this is someone you didn't know very well.

1:03:34🔗 No, no, no. I know her pretty well.

1:03:37🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:38🔗 Adam I'm done with this.

1:03:38🔗 Right.

1:03:39🔗 Thank you.

1:03:39🔗 Adam We're the world's dumbest callers. We really do. Who gave you the BJ? Her name was Jennifer.

1:03:47🔗 Aha.

1:03:48🔗 Caller She's pretty happy about that right about now.

1:03:50🔗 Adam Yeah. Met her at a party.

1:03:52🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:53🔗 Adam That clears things right on up. People have no idea. You know what I did tonight? And I wanted to strangle the person. I'm such a prick. I do it even in my real life too. I called a friend of mine and he's married to a woman named Missy and her friend answered the phone and I was calling for my car phone and I said, so a woman picked up the phone when I called my friend and I said, oh, Missy? And she said, no, this is Janie. And there's like a long pause and I said, is, I thought I called the wrong number. And I said, is Missy there? And she went, yeah. Is this her number? Yeah. Will you go get her and say it's not you, god damn it? It drives me nuts. Yeah. It's like, what are you, what universe are you living when you pick up someone else's phone and say hi and they ask for the person who lives in the house and you give them like a weird, confused beat and then say your name and I don't know that person.

1:05:02🔗 Caller That's the MADtv universe.

1:05:03🔗 Adam Oh my god, Drew, don't you want to kill those people? Like what the hell are they thinking? Like I'd pick the phone. When I go to someone else's house and pick up, Debra, if I was at your house, you know how I answer the phone? Debra's house. This is not Debra.

1:05:18🔗 Or hello.

1:05:20🔗 Adam Yes, this is Adam. Oh, you want to speak to Debra? Well, hold on. I'm a friend of hers. Hold on. Debra, put something on and come here and get on the phone. I don't just say, hi, this is Adam, and just give like big long pauses so I can confuse everyone. I want to kick her right in the ass, this woman. I know where the hell was I, Drew? Who do you want to speak to?

1:05:39🔗 Drew I don't have any more calls on my little list.

1:05:41🔗 Adam Jerry, you're 17. What's up?

1:05:45🔗 Caller Actually, I've had sex with four or five girls, unprotected sex.

1:05:50🔗 Adam Great.

1:05:51🔗 Caller Now, me and my girlfriend are trying to have a kid, and I was wondering, none of the other girls have gotten pregnant.

1:05:56🔗 Adam No, this is bogus.

1:05:57🔗 Caller I don't know if I can or if I'm infertile or what.

1:06:03🔗 Adam You've had in your life, you've had sex with four or five women.

1:06:08🔗 Caller Unprotected sex, yeah.

1:06:10🔗 Drew Why have you taken those sorts of risks?

1:06:11🔗 Adam Oh, he's an idiot, but listen, how many times with each one of these women?

1:06:17🔗 Caller With one of them for a couple months.

1:06:19🔗 Adam Couple months, so maybe 20 times you had sex with her?

1:06:23🔗 Caller Yeah, probably.

1:06:24🔗 Adam Unprotected each and every time. And you've never got any of them pregnant.

1:06:29🔗 Caller No.

1:06:30🔗 Adam And now you have a girlfriend, Uh-huh. And you like to get her pregnant.

1:06:34🔗 Caller Yeah, we're trying to have a baby.

1:06:35🔗 Adam I see. And how old is she, 13?

1:06:38🔗 Caller 17.

1:06:39🔗 Adam 17 as well.

1:06:40🔗 Caller And you're trying to get her pregnant now?

1:06:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:42🔗 Adam Why?

1:06:43🔗 Caller Why now?

1:06:44🔗 Caller Because we just both want a kid and we've been talking about it.

1:06:48🔗 Caller Let me ask you something. If you're not responsible enough to have protected sex with these women that you were with, what makes you think that you're going to be responsible enough to be a father?

1:06:56🔗 Caller Um, I don't know.

1:06:58🔗 Caller What makes, where's the money going to come from? Where's the education going to come from?

1:07:02🔗 Caller I have a job. I'm, I'm in school.

1:07:05🔗 Caller And so then you can't be in school and be a parent.

1:07:09🔗 Adam You can't have a job be in school and be a parent.

1:07:11🔗 Caller Yeah. You know what?

1:07:12🔗 Caller If you have the choice, if you have a choice there, make the choice not to do yourself a favor, give yourself girlfriend a favor and do this child that is not here yet a favor.

1:07:23🔗 Caller And let me ask you something. How long have you been with your new girlfriend?

1:07:26🔗 Caller For like eight months.

1:07:28🔗 Caller Okay. Eight months. Let me ask you something. What makes you think you know so much about this relationship that having a child right now will make it more stable?

1:07:37🔗 Caller I have no idea.

1:07:38🔗 Caller Exactly. And if you don't have any idea, then you should be thinking about that. Why isn't that a thought in your mind?

1:07:44🔗 Caller We've talked about marriage and everything and we just spend...

1:07:47🔗 Caller No, you don't understand. I can talk about pizza. That doesn't mean I should be eating it.

1:07:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:51🔗 Caller I can talk about drugs. That doesn't mean I should be doing it. And so if you're in a relationship that's brand new, why do you want to add something to the mix that can complicate the situation instead of making it more stable?

1:08:01🔗 Adam Well, I'll tell you why. Because if she's screwed up, she's bucking for it, and he's stupid and has a hard on and is going along with it.

1:08:07🔗 Drew And they both had parents who had them when they were 12.

1:08:09🔗 Adam Right.

1:08:10🔗 Caller Don't... Listen to me, please. Don't do this. Don't do this to yourself. You're not prepared to be a responsible parent. If you're out there having unprotected sex and now you claim you're going to be ready, you're not. You haven't had enough experience in between one situation to the next situation to say, I'm ready to be responsible. What situation have you been in so far that has that has allowed you to be responsible? None.

1:08:34🔗 Adam All right.

1:08:34🔗 Caller You've jumped from one responsible, irresponsible situation to the other.

1:08:37🔗 Adam Let me... I don't want to bust it. Don't bust these balls too much. I mean, you're 1000% right.

1:08:43🔗 Caller I don't want to bust your balls. I just want you to be able to walk away thinking about this.

1:08:47🔗 Caller My question was just, though, is there a possibility I'm infertile or...

1:08:53🔗 Adam Oh, God, we hope so. God, if there's a God in heaven, you are infertile.

1:08:58🔗 Caller Yeah, for now.

1:09:00🔗 Adam Your 14 brothers are infertile too. No.

1:09:02🔗 Drew The fact is he's going to have kids.

1:09:04🔗 Adam Listen, Jerry, you're going to have kids. Would you listen to me for a second, please?

1:09:09🔗 Drew Wait five years, please.

1:09:10🔗 Adam No, no, no. Don't even wait five years. Just wait a few years. Just get yourself in a little better position, get a little raise at work, graduate from, you know, mechanic school or whatever it is you're working toward. Get in a better position, and that way the kid won't be, will have a much better shot of working out, all right? All right. All right, please do that. It just, statistically, it ain't going to work, and you ain't going to be the ones to beat the odds. And I know your girlfriend's got some problems and maybe she came from some trouble. Encourage her not to fix things with a kid, but to fix things by reading a book, get a little therapy, all right?

1:09:46🔗 Caller And a condom, don't condom, lots of them.

1:09:48🔗 Adam Yes, you will get her pregnant and then you'll be sorry, so do not do it. Absolutely. All right, where the hell are we? Vince?

1:09:56🔗 Hello?

1:09:56🔗 Adam You're 29, what's up?

1:09:58🔗 Caller Well, I just want to say I'm a huge fan of Mad TV ever since October 15th, 1995, when it appeared.

1:10:06🔗 Caller Wow.

1:10:07🔗 Caller Mo, I think you're incredibly funny and Deborah, I think you're super sexy as well as funny.

1:10:13🔗 Caller Why, thank you very much.

1:10:15🔗 Caller I got to work another year for that sexy thing. I'm getting there though, right? What's your name? That's Vince. I'll get there next season.

1:10:23🔗 Adam Vince, you watch religiously every Saturday?

1:10:26🔗 Caller The VIP sketch that they did recently.

1:10:29🔗 Caller With TIT.

1:10:30🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:10:31🔗 Caller Where Mo does an amazing, an amazing Pamela Anderson. Yeah?

1:10:35🔗 Caller And Deborah did an incredible slow motion shot.

1:10:39🔗 Caller But anyways, my question.

1:10:41🔗 Caller OK, nothing.

1:10:42🔗 Caller My question was, I noticed when it started that, you know, you were having the Alfred E. Newman character on the show and a lot of spy versus spy. And it seems that you've kind of gotten away from the affiliation with MAD magazine. Is that on purpose?

1:10:55🔗 Caller It's definitely on purpose.

1:10:57🔗 Caller Is it what you're just trying to distance yourself?

1:10:59🔗 Caller No, it doesn't have anything to do specifically with distancing, distancing, distancing. Thank you very much. Ourself from the show. It was, believe it or not, budget. Because when we first started out, along with the Alfred E. Newman, we also had film pieces, if you recall. We had film blocks. And you notice those film blocks disappeared as well. It was about licensing fees and having to pay tons of money for those licensing fees.

1:11:25🔗 Caller Really? So you can just keep the name? You just can't show Alfred E. Newman in spite of it?

1:11:29🔗 Caller No, it's not that we can't. It just, as the show began to steamroll, it was more sketch-oriented and we were bringing in people that really had great characters and the show became more about that than anything else. You didn't need it. It kind of supported its own self with what it was called.

1:11:43🔗 Drew And it was expensive.

1:11:44🔗 Caller Thank you. Yeah.

1:11:45🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. Thanks, Vince.

1:11:47🔗 Caller Thank you. Thank you, Boo-Boo.

1:11:49🔗 Adam Boo-Boo?

1:11:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:51🔗 Boo-Boo.

1:11:54🔗 Adam All right. That's the extent of my mimicking talent tree. I do, oh no, I got a sore throat tonight, Anderson. He wants me to do the lightning round tonight, but I'll tell you, I've been, Drew, how are you doing on your cold?

1:12:11🔗 Drew It's, it's, I woke up, you want to talk about it? You bring up the weirdest stuff for air. I coughed up some, a couple of fetuses this morning, I think.

1:12:18🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:12:19🔗 Drew And it was awful. And I have had, I feel like hell and have all day.

1:12:23🔗 Adam Fantastic. I'm glad I asked.

1:12:25🔗 Caller All right.

1:12:27🔗 Adam I, I, I didn't, I, I didn't hawk. I hawked up like, like a pig fetus, but not a human one. So I'm not as bad as you are.

1:12:35🔗 Caller And he's saving it for dissection later on.

1:12:37🔗 Caller That's right.

1:12:40🔗 Adam That is David Allen Grier vomiting on our show. Let's hear it one more time.

1:12:47🔗 Caller All right.

1:12:49🔗 Adam Debra Wilson and Mo Collins are both here for Mad TV. We're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Megan, who's a 19, never been with a girl, but starting to be attracted to one, wants to know if she should tell her fiancee. We'll get to that after this. It is Loveline. Adam Corolla is Dr. Drew, Debra Wilson and Mo Collins are our guests tonight. They're from Mad TV, and it's fifth fabulous season. Really, has it been five seasons?

1:13:56🔗 Caller Five seasons. In fact, our fifth season ended March 10th.

1:14:01🔗 Caller Five glorious years.

1:14:04🔗 Caller This is in the audience.

1:14:06🔗 Caller Could it really be?

1:14:07🔗 Caller Snoop Dogg.

1:14:09🔗 Caller Leonardo Light Dogg with a T.

1:14:11🔗 Caller T-D-B.

1:14:12🔗 Adam You guys doing a bit?

1:14:13🔗 Caller What's going on here? It's just a little extravaganza number, we did.

1:14:16🔗 Adam Moving your mic over this way a little, Debra, cause I'm getting some like feedback and I can't figure out where it's coming from, although I think it's Drew's Minneapolis gig.

1:14:26🔗 Drew Adam, take Ron 41. How's your cold doing, by the way?

1:14:34🔗 Caller It's great.

1:14:34🔗 Adam I'm a new man.

1:14:36🔗 Caller Ron?

1:14:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:37🔗 Adam Thanks. Ivan Reitman yelled at me today, by the way.

1:14:42🔗 Drew That's why you're in a pissy mood. Why?

1:14:44🔗 Adam You know you've arrived.

1:14:45🔗 Drew What'd he say?

1:14:46🔗 Caller You have an audition for Ivan Reitman?

1:14:47🔗 Adam No. We had a meeting with him to pitch a movie and then we were told when we came back a month later that we're just going to hash out a few ideas. And he thought it was going to be a full-fledged pitch idea. And about halfway into it, he said, what the hell are we doing? You're wasting my time. It was great. It was great. But we yelled back at him and then we all hugged and we cried.

1:15:13🔗 Drew And then what happened?

1:15:14🔗 Adam It was fantastic.

1:15:15🔗 Drew He stormed out?

1:15:16🔗 Adam We got on the same page and then we stormed out, yeah. Ron?

1:15:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:21🔗 Adam You're 41. What's up?

1:15:22🔗 Caller Yeah. I noticed about the past 12 to 15 years, I've been having this problem. I don't know if it's a problem or not. More or less when I have sex and also when I ejaculate, it seems like there's a fluid from my rectum, aka colon. I don't know if that's normal or not.

1:15:44🔗 Drew I don't understand. What kind of fluid does it look like?

1:15:46🔗 Caller Sometimes clear, sometimes either a little white or yellowish.

1:15:52🔗 Drew I wonder why. I just wonder if it could be semen. Have you had some sort of fish to look? Do you have any problems, any medical problems?

1:16:01🔗 Caller Not really, other than that I got hypertension. I'm taking Lutecin for it.

1:16:08🔗 Adam He's 41, Ron. Listen, fluid came out of my asshole when the same time the semen was coming out of the Johnson.

1:16:18🔗 Drew AK.

1:16:19🔗 Caller AK. Colin. Right after.

1:16:22🔗 Adam The point is, I wouldn't even drive myself to the hospital to have a helicopter take me. I'd have to cut the roof off my house. I'd have to winch lower me down like I was a jet pilot that ejected over the Mediterranean. And I'd be airlifted into a hospital. I wouldn't go 15 years. You know what I mean?

1:16:42🔗 Drew It could be mucus. It could be mucus. It could be just some sort of spontaneous emission from the contraction. Huh?

1:16:49🔗 Caller It doesn't happen all the time.

1:16:51🔗 Drew But my concern is it could be a fistula. The pelvic organs are back there and it could be some sort of fistula that caused that.

1:16:59🔗 Adam That's cause that gets its name from guys putting their fists in your ass?

1:17:02🔗 Drew That's one of the causes. It's a connection between one space and another that shouldn't be there basically, a track.

1:17:09🔗 Adam I never had a fistula. I had a bowling pinula once. It was quite painful in that area.

1:17:15🔗 Caller You think it's... what is it? A disturbance somewhere in the digest?

1:17:19🔗 Adam Oh Ron, here's the point. You have no idea. You better work it out with somebody who knows the anus.

1:17:26🔗 Drew No, it has to be examined.

1:17:28🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying.

1:17:29🔗 Drew Go to a parctologist. Either a parctologist or urologist would be the... I would probably start with a urologist.

1:17:34🔗 Caller All right.

1:17:35🔗 Drew Okay.

1:17:36🔗 Caller All right.

1:17:36🔗 Adam Go get it worked out. Drew, officula, that's like a pocket that's in that area.

1:17:44🔗 Drew It's like a connection between two places that shouldn't have a connection.

1:17:48🔗 Adam I see.

1:17:49🔗 Drew Like a tunnel, a tunnel.

1:17:50🔗 Adam Uh-huh.

1:17:51🔗 Drew Like somebody's tunneling from Scrotumburg to Anisfil.

1:17:54🔗 Adam Yes.

1:17:55🔗 Drew Yes. They've connected.

1:17:57🔗 Adam Right.

1:17:57🔗 Drew Just drove the Golden Spike in.

1:17:59🔗 Adam Like that movie, The Great Escape.

1:18:01🔗 Drew Yes.

1:18:01🔗 Caller So, Dr. Drew, let me get this straight. If there is a connection, are you saying that there's a possibility that when he ejaculates, the semen is actually coming, or residual of the semen is coming into the anus?

1:18:13🔗 Drew Possible.

1:18:14🔗 Caller Okay.

1:18:14🔗 Adam I had semen dripping from my anus once, but it wasn't my own, so I don't think that's a problem. That's not a problem. It's not mine, is it?

1:18:24🔗 Drew Megan 19.

1:18:25🔗 Adam What if the guy's name is Dutch? Is that all right? Actually, it's hard to tell because there is that hole in the stall that's hard to tell which one of those guys did it. But anyway, where are we going, Drew? Megan?

1:18:38🔗 Drew Megan 19.

1:18:39🔗 Adam Yeah. Megan, you're 19.

1:18:41🔗 Caller The Corolla, you really make me laugh.

1:18:43🔗 Adam All right.

1:18:44🔗 Caller Thank you. To the girls from Mad TV, are you guys the ones from that Spooky Potty bit?

1:18:52🔗 Caller Well, Mo is. Yeah, I'm in the Potty.

1:18:55🔗 Caller Mo is.

1:18:56🔗 Caller I'm in that one.

1:18:57🔗 Caller You did?

1:18:58🔗 Caller Yeah, the Hoppy Potty Band. And we did Halloween Spooky Potty.

1:19:02🔗 Caller I'm black. I wasn't in that one.

1:19:03🔗 Caller That was awesome. Okay, my question was that at my work, I've recently been meeting a lot of girls and I'm engaged to a guy who I really am comfortable with. Every time I say I'm in love, I'm only 19. People go, you're not in love. So I'll say that when I'm talking about being really comfortable with this guy I'm with, we've been settled down in the house together for two years.

1:19:24🔗 Drew Wait a minute.

1:19:25🔗 Caller Wait a minute.

1:19:26🔗 Drew You're always falling in love with guys?

1:19:28🔗 Caller No, no. Actually, you said every time long-term relationship I've ever had.

1:19:33🔗 Drew And didn't you just say that every time you always fall in love with guys and people are saying, no, you couldn't be, you're too young.

1:19:38🔗 Adam No, people are telling her that she's too young to be engaged and she's not in love.

1:19:43🔗 Drew In this one, okay.

1:19:45🔗 Caller One guy, people are telling me, oh, you're too young for love.

1:19:47🔗 Adam All right, so you're very comfortable with him.

1:19:49🔗 Caller And I've been finding myself very attracted to other women, not uncontrollably, But I'm thinking, I mean, he knows that I've had attractions to women, but I've gone like further with it. And I think, should I tell him or should I just?

1:20:03🔗 Adam Well, what do you mean gone further with it?

1:20:05🔗 Caller Well, I've like had a couple of experiences with women since I've been with him that he doesn't know about.

1:20:10🔗 Adam Like what kind, what kinds of experiences?

1:20:13🔗 Caller Just like fooling around, experimenting, I guess.

1:20:16🔗 Adam What base did you get to?

1:20:18🔗 Caller I don't know. Let's just say I let them go down on me, but I've never done that.

1:20:22🔗 Adam Oh, okay. That's not lesbianism.

1:20:24🔗 Caller Okay.

1:20:25🔗 Adam They're just scratching their head.

1:20:26🔗 No matter what.

1:20:28🔗 Adam Okay. Listen, that makes them lesbian.

1:20:30🔗 Drew What is her history? You got to get her history.

1:20:32🔗 Adam All right.

1:20:32🔗 Drew Hey, Megan. There's something big time going on here.

1:20:34🔗 Adam Megan, Megan sounds very mature.

1:20:37🔗 Drew If I were sitting with you, I'd put money down.

1:20:39🔗 Adam But she was out of the house very early.

1:20:42🔗 Drew And living with a guy.

1:20:43🔗 Adam Living with this guy since 17.

1:20:46🔗 Caller Yeah, 18, yeah.

1:20:47🔗 Adam Well, you said a couple of years.

1:20:49🔗 Caller We've been together for two years. We've been living together.

1:20:51🔗 Okay.

1:20:51🔗 Adam Well, the point is, is what went on at home?

1:20:54🔗 Caller At home? Well, I've been experimenting with girls just kissing and stuff since I was like really little.

1:21:00🔗 Okay.

1:21:01🔗 Adam What went on at home?

1:21:02🔗 Caller At home?

1:21:04🔗 What went on at home?

1:21:07🔗 Caller I'm just a single child that's always had a really good upbringing. And when I got, I've been to Catholic school my whole life. And when I had a chance at a party and I got, you know, twisted enough, I was always hooking up with girls.

1:21:17🔗 Adam All right.

1:21:18🔗 Where's your dad?

1:21:19🔗 Adam Is he doing a good job with you?

1:21:21🔗 Caller Well, we don't really, I have a really good stepdad.

1:21:24🔗 And my real, I thought everything was fine.

1:21:27🔗 Adam What? I thought you were just a normal family grown. Yeah. Where's your dad?

1:21:33🔗 Caller He lives in Northern California.

1:21:34🔗 Drew What's his deal?

1:21:36🔗 Caller Well, him and mom broke up when I was two. But I mean, we've always kept in touch. And I spent time with him, like every couple of months.

1:21:44🔗 Drew Why did he leave?

1:21:45🔗 Caller I don't know. I guess problems between my parents. They didn't want to be around me and, you know, put me through their fighting.

1:21:51🔗 Adam So your stepdad's a good guy?

1:21:54🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean, we don't get along anymore. I mean, we never really got along.

1:21:57🔗 Adam Okay. But he's a fine individual.

1:21:59🔗 Drew Right. They're perfect. They're pretty normal. And when you were a little girl, when you were young and started engaging with same-sex experimentation, did they ever get very sexual at a real young age?

1:22:10🔗 Caller Who? Me?

1:22:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:22:12🔗 Caller No. Just pretty much kissing all the way up until I was like 17.

1:22:16🔗 What's my dad doing in Israel?

1:22:17🔗 Drew All right.

1:22:18🔗 Adam And Megan, wait a minute. I want to get back to daddy just for a second here. What's up with Step Down?

1:22:28🔗 Caller Actually, nothing sexual, nothing personal even. I mean, it was all like support wise with him.

1:22:36🔗 Drew What do you mean?

1:22:37🔗 Caller The whole thing with girls has always just been something me, myself, and I alone. I'm a single child and I've always been very individual.

1:22:45🔗 Adam I want to talk about your step dad. Why you don't like it?

1:22:48🔗 Caller I don't.

1:22:49🔗 Adam Why is that? No kidding. You don't want to talk about that.

1:22:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:52🔗 Drew My God.

1:22:52🔗 Adam He's steering it back to you and your individualism. What's up with step dad?

1:22:57🔗 Caller My point is that since I've gotten older and even since I've been on my own with this guy, ever since I've been alone with this guy.

1:23:01🔗 Drew Here she goes.

1:23:03🔗 Caller Ever since I've been alone with this guy.

1:23:04🔗 Adam Adam, you're yelling at me tonight.

1:23:06🔗 Drew Will you yell at her please?

1:23:07🔗 Adam I'm two seconds away. Megan, I don't know if you're familiar with the program or the show, but the format of the show, but we're not at all interested in what your point is. We're interested in what my point is, secondly, what Drew's point is, and third, what my point is again, and then the guest. All right. Now listen here, nut job. I'm done talking to you about what's going on in the here and now. I want to go back. I want to know why you have a problem with the stepdad and what it is that he did.

1:23:35🔗 Caller Well, I'm not his nut job, that's for sure.

1:23:37🔗 Why is it?

1:23:38🔗 Adam Okay, forget it. All right, Megan.

1:23:40🔗 Caller Megan, why don't you talk about your stepfather?

1:23:45🔗 Adam Listen, bury your face in vagina and never take it out.

1:23:49🔗 Caller If you're comfortable with them, you should tell them.

1:23:51🔗 Adam Who cares?

1:23:51🔗 Drew Well, I think she's gay and she doesn't want to admit it.

1:23:53🔗 Adam Put a snork all in so you can breathe and get down there and never come up for air. I don't care. I'm only going to ask someone so many times the same question and him give me the run around.

1:24:04🔗 Caller Honestly, they're not giving you the run around, they're giving themselves the run around.

1:24:07🔗 Adam Absolutely. That's the only thing that helps me sleep at night.

1:24:10🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:24:12🔗 Adam Thank you Debra for bringing out that point.

1:24:13🔗 Drew How about Bill 21?

1:24:14🔗 Adam All right. Bill is 20. People don't understand that we have many other people waiting on the line for me to make fun of them. Bill?

1:24:25🔗 Caller Yeah, Adam.

1:24:26🔗 Adam What's up?

1:24:27🔗 Caller Okay. All my life I've never seen anything unusual appear on my penis and two days ago that all changed. Okay.

1:24:36🔗 Adam Something unusual appeared on your penis? No.

1:24:38🔗 Caller I don't know what to do about this.

1:24:39🔗 Drew Image of the Virgin Mary?

1:24:41🔗 Adam I think it was a mouth. What was it?

1:24:45🔗 Caller Well, that's ironic you should say mouth because I have been getting a lot ahead.

1:24:50🔗 Adam You have?

1:24:51🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:24:51🔗 Adam Fantastic. What's your secret?

1:24:54🔗 Caller All right.

1:24:54🔗 Adam So what happened? What happened to your penis?

1:24:56🔗 Caller Finding a woman who loves giving it and who doesn't discriminate.

1:25:00🔗 Adam Against your penis or against Hispanics or against who?

1:25:05🔗 Caller Just everything.

1:25:06🔗 Adam I see. All right.

1:25:08🔗 Caller Hold on.

1:25:09🔗 Adam Let me write down some of these pearls of wisdom that Bill has put forth here. You're looking for a woman who doesn't discriminate against everything. All right. Likes to give.

1:25:20🔗 Caller Fine.

1:25:21🔗 Adam All right. What else, Bill?

1:25:23🔗 Caller Okay. I'm thinking this can be one of two things. Okay. Before I got home that other night, I had plucked a kind of a fuzzy leaf from one of the sidewalk plants that I don't really recognize, you know, the kind that are common that you always see.

1:25:43🔗 Caller And what did you do? Rub it on your penis?

1:25:45🔗 Caller No, no, no. I just held it. But what I did is I used it to put out the light in my hash pipe. I see. Because I had to go back inside. And when I went back inside, I didn't wash my hands.

1:26:00🔗 Drew How much LSD do you do?

1:26:01🔗 Caller What?

1:26:02🔗 Drew How much LSD have you done?

1:26:05🔗 Caller I don't think I should say that.

1:26:07🔗 Drew How many times? You're on it right now, aren't you?

1:26:09🔗 Caller No, not right now.

1:26:10🔗 Drew But you've done a lot.

1:26:13🔗 Caller Drew, you are so smart.

1:26:15🔗 Adam So smart, listen.

1:26:19🔗 Caller I knew you were going to tell.

1:26:20🔗 Adam Listen, an organ grinder's monkey could tell you were doing a lot of LSD.

1:26:27🔗 Drew Well, no, but this is a specific problem. It's kind of just disorganization, disjuncting shot of thoughts and the fact that you're smoking a lot of pot, took me on too.

1:26:37🔗 Caller I'm not, the pot is not making me see this.

1:26:41🔗 Drew I know it isn't. It's the LSD. It's the LSD. I'm sorry, Bill, but you have harmed yourself with this stuff. You need to see somebody about this.

1:26:49🔗 Adam Hey, Bill?

1:26:50🔗 Caller What?

1:26:51🔗 Adam No more LSD. Do you hear me?

1:26:55🔗 Drew It's affecting your thinking.

1:26:56🔗 Adam I don't want to bum your high, but...

1:26:57🔗 Caller What are you trying to tell me? You're trying to tell me I'm imagining this appearing on my penis?

1:27:01🔗 Adam Hey, Bill?

1:27:02🔗 Caller What?

1:27:03🔗 Adam I'm going to have a... You know I'm like a god who walks amongst you here on earth, right? You understand that? I'm an all-powerful deity. No one's smarter than me and I'm always right. Do you understand that? Okay. Okay, listen. You called this radio show. We've never spoken to you before in our lives and it's very apparent to us that your drug use is affecting you. We're not basing it on anything other than speaking to you.

1:27:32🔗 Drew For a few minutes.

1:27:33🔗 Adam For a few minutes or even a few seconds and it's very apparent what's going on. All right, you have a problem. You need to start working on it, all right? I don't want to talk about your penis. I want to talk about your brain. So please work on that. Please get yourself some help. Please don't smoke so much hash. Please no more LSD, okay? Okay, fine. All right, that's good. So I can just hang up. I wish I had one of these buttons in life, everywhere else, because it's great. Because if you hang up just at the right time, you can cut people off before they get to what they want to say. Because people will go like, you know where I'd like to use it like in real life where you go, hey, I'm moving this weekend. Can you give me a hand? And they go, well, I'd like to help. But right there, right there is where I cut them off. I'd like to help.

1:28:24🔗 Caller Boom, cut them right there.

1:28:27🔗 Adam You see, Bill was going, well, all right. Boom, I cut them right there. Now I win. See, otherwise...

1:28:35🔗 Caller So it's just about winning.

1:28:36🔗 Adam Yes, if I just listened to him, he would have gone right back to his penis in the maple leaf.

1:28:42🔗 Caller Absolutely.

1:28:43🔗 Drew But he might have helped you move. No, the fuzzy leaf.

1:28:45🔗 Adam The fuzzy leaf, yes, everyday leaf. All right, we're going to take a break.

1:28:55🔗 Drew We'll be back.

1:29:09🔗 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:29:27🔗 Caller It's Loveline.

1:29:28🔗 Adam I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew, Debra Wilson, Mo Collins are both here tonight for Mad TV, 11 o'clock, Saturday night, fifth season, going strong on Fox. And do we leave off with anyone? No. Let's just power through some calls here. Grace?

1:29:46🔗 Drew 14.

1:29:47🔗 Adam You're 14, you think you're pregnant, but still has a period. Wants to know if that's possible.

1:29:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:55🔗 Adam It's not that it's your period, but it could be another form of bleeding, right, Drew?

1:29:58🔗 Drew Right. You can get first trimester bleeding.

1:30:01🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

1:30:01🔗 Drew Okay, which is a dangerous phenomenon. Also, if you believe you're pregnant, if you have reason to believe you're pregnant and you get bleeding, the other thing could be is an ectopic or tubal pregnancy, and that actually is a medical emergency.

1:30:13🔗 Caller Oh, well, I don't have any, like, reason, but I just wanted to know because I did have sex and...

1:30:19🔗 Drew Why did you use a morning after pill?

1:30:22🔗 Caller Because I didn't, I couldn't, I was, like...

1:30:26🔗 Caller Because you're 14. How does she get to it without fear and people knowing?

1:30:31🔗 Adam Grace, how old was the guy?

1:30:34🔗 Caller I think 14 or 15.

1:30:35🔗 Caller Alright.

1:30:36🔗 Adam Grace, stop having sex, start using protection.

1:30:39🔗 Caller Grace, let me ask you something. Did this scare you?

1:30:41🔗 Caller Um, what?

1:30:42🔗 Caller Did this whole situation scare you?

1:30:44🔗 Caller Not really.

1:30:45🔗 Adam Okay, fine. Forget it. Find Jesus Christ. Jesse, go to prison, find Jesus Christ. He's in prison. He's incarcerated. He's in lockdown, I found out. Jesse?

1:30:57🔗 Yeah?

1:30:57🔗 Adam You're 15.

1:30:58🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:30:58🔗 Adam Alright. Your parents say to try to control your life and choose your friends. Your parents are controlling your life? I see. Alright. Good. I want more parents doing that. Alright. Fine. Are they doing anything? Way out of line?

1:31:13🔗 Caller Yes. Very out of line. Um, they, they say I can have certain friends and I can't have, like, friends that are just like me. They want, like, the proper friends, the people I don't get along with.

1:31:27🔗 Caller What kind of friends are you choosing?

1:31:30🔗 Caller Um, I choose the people I grew up with and my parents don't like them.

1:31:34🔗 Caller Why don't they like them? What are their qualities that they don't like?

1:31:37🔗 Caller I live in a nice, peaceful neighborhood and they supposedly grew up on the wrong side of the tracks.

1:31:43🔗 Adam Oh, hold on. This sounds like some kind of a John Cougar Melon Camp song. What are you talking about? I guarantee these people, if I talk to your parents, they tell me why they didn't want you hanging around with these people and they wouldn't say it's because they grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. What are some concrete reasons?

1:32:00🔗 Caller Um, I'm not that great at math and, like, elementary, middle school, I used to get As and Bs and I got one D on a test and my mom blames it on my friends.

1:32:11🔗 Adam Yes. They want you to stop hanging around with the Mexicans and start hanging around with the Asians, right? Listen, that's what I'm going to do.

1:32:20🔗 Drew Well, there's a big difference between parents being structured and them being aggressive and intrusive.

1:32:25🔗 Adam Right.

1:32:25🔗 Drew And if they don't acknowledge your separateness and your freedom to choose who your friends are, although they may create consequences if they believe you're with friends that are truly destructive to you, but to tell you what to do or who you should or shouldn't like, that's pretty rough.

1:32:39🔗 Adam Well, what are you going to do, you're 15 now?

1:32:40🔗 Caller Can you feed into your parents' needs a little bit and bring these people home and get, show them the sides of them that you like?

1:32:46🔗 Drew Yes.

1:32:46🔗 Caller The reasons that you want them to be?

1:32:48🔗 Adam No, she can't because she's angry.

1:32:49🔗 Caller And let me ask you something.

1:32:50🔗 Adam No, it's too late. I put her in a hole.

1:32:52🔗 Caller I was in the same position.

1:32:54🔗 Adam You were?

1:32:54🔗 Caller Exactly.

1:32:56🔗 Adam Your parents heard about who you hung out with?

1:32:58🔗 Caller Absolutely.

1:32:59🔗 Drew Wow.

1:32:59🔗 Caller Yeah, completely. They wanted to, told me specifically, people, and yeah, that's a really tough thing to deal with.

1:33:05🔗 Adam Drew, did your parents care who you hung out with?

1:33:07🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:33:08🔗 Adam Really?

1:33:09🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:33:09🔗 Adam I find that bizarre. Now, my friend's parents cared that I was hanging around with them, but my parents, they were just glad I was out of the house. They care. I was like, hey, listen, I'm heading over to Spahn Ranch to hang out with the Mansons.

1:33:22🔗 Caller All right.

1:33:24🔗 Adam Take a sweater.

1:33:25🔗 Caller Mansons. Now, what are they?

1:33:27🔗 Adam We're going to go break into a house, rearrange some furniture, and spread some pig's blood on the wall. Okay.

1:33:33🔗 Drew But you did say the other parents were blaming you for stuff and taking your friends over to the dark side.

1:33:39🔗 Adam Yes. I had teachers telling other parents that the reason their kid wasn't doing as well as they could in classes because I was in the class with them sitting in close proximity to their kid and I had that kind of stuff going on. But no, my parents never cared themselves. I don't think they knew anyone I hung out with.

1:34:01🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:34:01🔗 Adam You're 13?

1:34:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:02🔗 Adam Your hair grows out the tip of your penis?

1:34:05🔗 Caller Well, kind of.

1:34:05🔗 Caller It's like in the middle of it.

1:34:08🔗 Adam Maybe you just have a very small penis and it's just, you know, it's sort of pulled back into your pubic hair there.

1:34:14🔗 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:34:14🔗 Adam Hair growing out of the side of the penis?

1:34:17🔗 Caller It's coming, you know, at the stem and then in the middle.

1:34:19🔗 Drew The stem? It's in the stem, Adam.

1:34:22🔗 Adam Yeah, it's always in the stem.

1:34:24🔗 Drew Halfway up the stem.

1:34:25🔗 Adam Halfway up the stem?

1:34:26🔗 Caller Get it, tweezers.

1:34:27🔗 Adam What about that, Drew? Is that meaning some kind of thyroid problem or something?

1:34:31🔗 Drew No, no, no, nothing. It's just some people that way.

1:34:33🔗 Caller And is it normal?

1:34:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:36🔗 Caller So it's okay that that happens that way?

1:34:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:40🔗 Drew You may have some sort of cosmetic issue with it.

1:34:42🔗 Caller I get hair growing out of my nipple. I'm normal, too.

1:34:45🔗 Adam You wouldn't want Zach coming at you, though, when he's 45, though, with that hairy thing of his, like a dog's penis.

1:34:51🔗 Caller You can clip it, but you're normal, baby.

1:34:52🔗 Adam Yeah, don't worry about it. All right, Jenna. Yeah. You're 14. Let's see, a guy at school will only date her if she gives him a blowjob. Oh, boy.

1:35:03🔗 Caller Well, what are you going to do?

1:35:04🔗 Adam No. All right, listen. Do it during nutrition. Get it over with.

1:35:08🔗 Caller Why would you? What is it, Jenna?

1:35:10🔗 Caller Okay.

1:35:11🔗 Caller I called on Monday, and I was on with the rabbi, and my phone got cut off. But when I called, it was my real reason. They said to call back tomorrow, and I called back, and they said that yesterday, too.

1:35:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:35:22🔗 Caller I've been trying to call you since Monday, so I kind of lied and set a different reason.

1:35:25🔗 Drew What is your reason for calling?

1:35:26🔗 Adam Well, listen, we're out of shows. You call back tomorrow, we'll get to you. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

1:35:34🔗 Caller Oh, you're about to get funky, yo.

1:35:37🔗 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:35:40🔗 Caller Oh, we'll be right back.

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