Tuesday, February 8, 2000

0:54🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:57🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:01🔗 Voiceover Listen to discretion and advice.

1:02🔗 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:05🔗 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the true appeal.

1:07🔗 Voiceover Loveline.

1:09🔗 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. And Adam Carolla, that is... Well, what a surprise. Dr. Drew is here once again. Decided to drop in, pick up his mail.

1:17🔗 I tried to get through last night.

1:21🔗 Adam Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4, 4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest is a... Well, she is the penthouse pet of the millennium, which I guess just means the 2000 penthouse pet of the year. Juliet Cariaga is here. She's listened to the show for some number of years now. Am I right, Juliet? Yes. Are you nervous?

1:51🔗 A little bit.

1:54🔗 Adam You know a recent trend seen in penthouse lately is a decent amount of folks peeing on each other.

2:03🔗 Yeah.

2:03🔗 Drew Well, they used to have the pet of the month do that. Like all of 98, they had all the girls do that and they don't do that anymore. Thank God I wasn't in that time frame.

2:11🔗 Yeah, it's funny.

2:13🔗 What is the purpose of that?

2:15🔗 Drew I don't know. I think they did it once in it.

2:20🔗 Adam One guy wrote 10 million letters.

2:21🔗 Drew Yeah, a lot of people called in or wrote and kind of... Bob likes to push the envelope a lot.

2:27🔗 Adam He likes to pee in it.

2:28🔗 He forgets about pushing it.

2:30🔗 Adam He likes to wipe his ass with the envelope. Listen, I've talked about this on the air a couple of times. I'm as weird as they come. I enjoy pornography just like the next guy, but I don't get the urination part. It's not...

2:43🔗 Juliet Cariaga You're too old.

2:45🔗 Adam Am I?

2:46🔗 Am I old fashioned?

2:47🔗 Adam Am I so old fashioned that I can't enjoy a beautiful woman peeing on my foot while I masturbate? Why doesn't she just get like a bird to crap on me? I don't understand that part of it. And to me, I understand it is pushing the envelope. It's sort of we have to keep moving forward. What else can we do to have the chicks pee? I can't imagine that the lion's share of men want to see the urine. Do you think it's 51% of the guys who work at Penn House want to see the chicks taking away?

3:24🔗 Juliet Cariaga I think it's 5% with like a writer's grant. That's right. Or a computer that they can print stuff out repeatedly.

3:33🔗 Drew I think people were more intrigued with the hole because you might see your girlfriend in the toilet or whatever, but you never really see them peeing, especially standing up in some hot outfit or something.

3:42🔗 Adam Good point.

3:43🔗 Drew Yeah, I kind of, a lot of people took them by surprise, I think, and they just went with it.

3:49🔗 Adam If a woman is in the bathroom, I give her her space. I don't want to go in there and have her ruin the place and get a whiff of that. You know, I don't like it when they become human.

4:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga I know you don't like that, but maybe it's a bunch of sort of really young jack-offs to record.

4:05🔗 Grabbing, hey buddy, look, oh, you got to see this.

4:09🔗 Adam I don't know, I think it's a, I think it just goes along with this sort of degradation thing we've spoken about. But anyway, now how did you arrive over at Penthouse?

4:21🔗 Drew I went into one of the photographers, Stephen Hex, Photography, and they took some Polaroids and they sent them to Penthouse, and they picked me to do the magazine.

4:30🔗 Where were you going for Penthouse?

4:33🔗 Adam Was it something you've always thought about doing?

4:36🔗 Drew I never really thought about it. Somebody scouted me for it and said that they wanted to know if I wanted to do any magazines or anything like that. I told them I wanted to do Playboy, actually. And they took me to Penthouse, and I really like this guy's photography. Stephen Hicks, he's a wonderful photographer, and he's beautiful, so I agree to do it.

4:55🔗 Adam And what are your duties as Pet of the Year?

4:58🔗 Drew I do a lot of promotions and signings.

5:02🔗 Adam Talk to schools and churches and things like that?

5:05🔗 Drew I'm trying to broaden people's horizons.

5:11🔗 By peeing on them?

5:12🔗 I personally do not do that.

5:16🔗 Adam So you travel around. I mean, you were just crowned a few months back, right? And that's quite an honor, because you have, what, an eight, seven, eight percent chance of getting it. I mean, there's twelve chicks, right? So you beat out eleven of them, including yourself, actually twelve. And so they pick you as Pet of the Year, and is it a full year of traveling around? I mean, do you do USO shows? Is it that kind of thing?

5:45🔗 Drew Um, I'm not really sure. I mean, I've just done a lot of interviews of the phone with different radio stations around the country, and I've been on Howard Stern Show and different things.

6:00🔗 Adam Well, what do you get? Because everyone knows with Playboy, you get the Shelby Cobra, the pink Cobra, you know, I don't know, $125,000 and blah, blah, blah.

6:10🔗 Drew Yeah, well, I couldn't say a few things about that, but...

6:13🔗 Adam You don't quite get that. But you gotta get something.

6:16🔗 Drew Well, I get $100,000 throughout the year, and then I get like a full year of work. But at the same time, Playboy, they put you under this really strict contract, so you can't do anything else. And Penthouse, you can pretty much do whatever you want, so I'm actually making a lot more money with Penthouse than I would have with Playboy, because I really doubt that I would have gotten Playmate of the Year, because, you know...

6:39🔗 Adam Well, now what other money do you make? I mean, where do you go from here?

6:42🔗 Drew Well, everything... well, I'm going to start a website, but everything that I do for Penthouse, the videos that I do, the promotions I do, everything that I do, I get paid extra besides the 100 grand, so I'm making a lot of money, and then I can, you know, do other magazines.

6:57🔗 Adam Good, you can support me. I'm quitting everyone of my jobs.

7:01🔗 Juliet Cariaga All of them?

7:01🔗 Adam Yes.

7:02🔗 Juliet Cariaga I said, you're done.

7:02🔗 Adam You're quitting all nine of my jobs? I'm going to let Juliet support me.

7:06🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'll stay home.

7:07🔗 Adam You can travel. I'll work around the house in my underpants. I'll look pretty when you come home. Seriously, are you more attracted to me or Drew? I mean, it's got to be one or the other.

7:16🔗 Drew Both, actually.

7:17🔗 No, no.

7:18🔗 Drew Well, you guys have... you're completely different, so I mean, it's complete, you know?

7:21🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying, so you got to go one or the other.

7:23🔗 Drew There's no limit to each of you.

7:26🔗 Adam Uh-oh, that means Drew.

7:28🔗 Juliet Cariaga Son of a bitch.

7:29🔗 Adam What's up? I thought she was screwed up enough to like me. Well, I'll get it out of her, don't worry. I have a way of wearing down on a woman like that, sandpaper. I wrote them.

7:42🔗 Juliet Cariaga All right, you ready to go here?

7:43🔗 Adam Gina? You're 15?

7:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:46🔗 Adam What's up?

7:47🔗 Caller Oh, okay, my boyfriend wants me to give him all. The thing is, I don't know how to give it to him really good.

7:52🔗 Juliet Cariaga He's 15.

7:54🔗 Caller I know. I don't want to do with him.

7:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga You don't want to do it? Don't do it.

7:59🔗 Caller No, not at all.

8:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga You don't want to have sex? I just don't want to give him sex. But you're okay with the world, which is 50.

8:05🔗 Drew You don't have to give him sex. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

8:08🔗 I know, but I want to give him more help.

8:10🔗 Adam You know, it's always funny the way... We never even notice it, but the way we even talk about sex is sort of a commodity in the way women are sort of the shopkeepers. They're like, I gave my boyfriend some sex, I gave him some oral sex, and you hear the guy, yeah, I got some sex. You know, like, he went into town, he laid some money down, he got some, she gave him, I don't know if I want to give him any more, I think he should wait. It's very interesting how that goes. Yeah, no guy would say, I'm going to give her this or I'll give her that, or I'll let her have this. You don't sound like you're all that nuts about it though, Gina.

8:49🔗 Caller Well, I'm like, it's going to be like my first time in anything, so I'm...

8:53🔗 Adam How old is he?

8:54🔗 Caller He's seventeen.

8:56🔗 Adam Alright, so do you want tips?

8:58🔗 Caller Uh, yeah.

8:59🔗 Adam Alright, Juliet, go ahead. Don't tell her what's good, just tell her how not to screw it up.

9:04🔗 Drew Oh, God, I don't know.

9:06🔗 Caller I don't think I can say anything over the end there.

9:09🔗 Adam Yes, you can be tactful.

9:11🔗 Caller Yeah, just don't bite.

9:13🔗 Adam Keep your teeth out of there. And other than that, he's going to enjoy it. I think women worry too much about this.

9:19🔗 Juliet Cariaga You didn't hear pizza.

9:22🔗 Adam There's a lot of whacking around on the console tonight, I noticed. You and Juliet, there's a lot of kabump, kabump, kabump.

9:28🔗 Caller That wasn't me.

9:28🔗 You hear that, Anderson?

9:29🔗 Caller That wasn't me.

9:31🔗 Adam True, I like to punctuate each statement with a fist.

9:33🔗 Caller You know, it's like I'm the daughter of a doctor.

9:34🔗 Juliet Cariaga I've been through the country without you, and I've been able just to do that all I want.

9:39🔗 Adam All right, well, knock it off, because you're with me now.

9:42🔗 Yes, my pizza theory.

9:43🔗 Adam Guys like pizza, guys like any pizza. Yes, some pizza is better than others, but it doesn't matter where it comes from, they still enjoy it. You ever see when they put a pizza out on a coffee table or something, some guys watching football, they'll demolish a thing. Even if they don't like thick crust, if they don't like pepperoni, if they don't like whatever, if it's Domino's and they don't like that, still, they'll enjoy themself.

10:07🔗 Maybe not as much, but they'll eat it.

10:09🔗 Adam That's the pizza theory. Same goes with pizza.

10:11🔗 Drew You should get advice from your best friend on how to do it, though. Probably.

10:15🔗 Caller I went to them first, and they don't know how to do it.

10:19🔗 Juliet Cariaga Just don't worry about it.

10:20🔗 Adam We gotta start hanging around with older sluts. If I can impart any message to the young girls listening to the show tonight, that would be it.

10:29🔗 Juliet Cariaga You talked about the give it and get it theory. I thought of the new twist from the interpretation of the whole Jack and the Beanstalk story.

10:37🔗 Adam Why?

10:38🔗 Juliet Cariaga Get these beans and get some. Take these beans and trade them and get a cow. When you get some magic beans and throw them in the ground, a big Beanstalk shows up.

10:47🔗 Adam Drew, you shouldn't be letting around your kids. You have too much time in the air for you, buddy.

10:53🔗 Juliet Cariaga The auction tension is going to run out. David? I gotta say thanks to a guy at a Chicago named Benjamin who is the gate guy. Those guys can really make life wonderful.

11:03🔗 Adam He let you through?

11:04🔗 Juliet Cariaga Let me through. He put me on first class seat.

11:06🔗 Adam All right. You're punchy.

11:09🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'd like you to stop it.

11:10🔗 You're 16 now, David.

11:11🔗 Adam What's up?

11:12🔗 Caller Yeah, what's up, man? Juliet, you're beautiful.

11:15🔗 Caller You guys rule, man. Well, first off, I was learning on the radio the other day about sexual signals. They were saying like, you know, how guys show off sexual signals and now like this liquid could kind of give you a higher sexual signal.

11:34🔗 Juliet Cariaga Fair enough?

11:36🔗 Caller Yeah, I think that's it.

11:37🔗 Juliet Cariaga Way, way, way too much in the public press about that.

11:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

11:42🔗 Caller So is it real or not?

11:44🔗 Caller It can't happen.

11:46🔗 Adam Let me tell you what that liquid really is. It's a wine cooler. I'd rather have an ounce of wine cooler than a gallon of pheromone if I was trying to get in someone's pants. In terms of, I actually pour the wine cooler on me.

11:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga I would use it like a cologne.

11:59🔗 Adam We're going to run up and lick me.

12:00🔗 Yeah.

12:01🔗 Juliet Cariaga Hang on, David. I was just reading something the other day that was talking about this and was saying it's more that the pheromone tends to be, at least the smells tend to be sort of the final arbiter. In other words, if they like the smell, it's a green light. If they really don't, it's not going to work.

12:18🔗 Yeah.

12:19🔗 Caller I like a good cologne.

12:21🔗 Juliet Cariaga It's just something that's either a yay or a nay if you're already on the way towards being close.

12:25🔗 Adam Men are obsessed with trying to fool women. They don't actually like them into liking them.

12:31🔗 Juliet Cariaga In our day, what was it?

12:33🔗 Adam Spanish Fly. Go to Mexico and get some of that Spanish Fly. There was some story about someone's older brother who graduated a few years back, usually in Kurt. And he got himself some Spanish Fly. Let me tell you what happened to Kurt or Steve, Carl's older brother. He gave it to this chick, right?

12:52🔗 Juliet Cariaga He gave her extra.

12:53🔗 Adam He gave her too much Spanish Fly in her drink. And she was really hot, man. I mean, she was horny. And they're going to get it on, you know? And they're driving home from the bar. And he stopped at a mini market to pick up some condoms and a six pack. And when he came back, she had killed herself having sex with the stick shift of the car.

13:14🔗 She had actually paled herself on the stick shift. That's how potent it is. No way, dude. Yes.

13:20🔗 Adam It's made from ground up cockroach legs.

13:22🔗 Drew Oh, gross.

13:23🔗 Adam Yeah. It really gets the ladies hot. I gotta get me some of that.

13:30🔗 Mark?

13:31🔗 Caller Yeah?

13:32🔗 Adam You're 13. What's up?

13:34🔗 Caller Oh, I think my, you know, I think I'm 15 small.

13:38🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah. At 13, Mark, there's certainly no to anything because everybody's maturing at a different rate at that point. And you'll keep going until you're about 21. So don't worry about what's going on now.

13:52🔗 Adam I know, let me tell you what goes on between 17 and 21, though. Well, 332nds of an inch. Yeah, but that's a gross spurt, too.

14:02🔗 It's not like you pack an inch on each year.

14:04🔗 Juliet Cariaga But 13 to 15 is the worst of the worst. Some of the guys look like Neanderthal men, and some of the guys look like little children still. And that's just the nature of how we develop as humans.

14:13🔗 Adam How big's the penis now, Mark? That's erect?

14:18🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah. Mark, do not worry about it. No, don't worry about it, honey. Do not worry about it. You're going to... the question is, do you have a little body here and that sort of thing? I'm starting up, is that... You can hear his voice.

14:30🔗 Adam Yeah, you sound young. You'll hit your gross spurt and the penis will go along with the rest of your body. But just to play it safe, start doing tongue exercises now. All right, Mark, you're fine. Don't worry about it. Look at it this way. If you put on even a quarter inch a year for the, until you're 21, 20% growth rate, yes, you'll be fine. All right? All right, don't sweat that there, Mark. Girls don't care about it too much. Right, Julia?

14:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga Do they?

14:59🔗 Drew Um, it all depends on how you use it.

15:01🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

15:02🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah.

15:02🔗 Adam Yeah, I'll pull mine off and smack it on the head with it. That's how I use it.

15:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's what I like to wear before. Keep it in the ashtray.

15:11🔗 Adam Yeah, even if a guy doesn't have the biggest tool in the world, if he knows how to move, he can please a woman, right?

15:19🔗 Caller Yeah, definitely.

15:19🔗 Adam Now, you guys are all sex anyway, right?

15:21🔗 Drew Yeah, sometimes if it's big, that doesn't necessarily mean you're good either.

15:24🔗 Caller You know what I mean?

15:25🔗 Adam That's right. That's right.

15:29🔗 Greg?

15:31🔗 Caller Yep.

15:31🔗 Adam You're 15.

15:32🔗 Caller Yep.

15:32🔗 Adam What's up?

15:33🔗 Caller I'm Mr. Mark Allen, Dr. Drew. You're awesome.

15:36🔗 Caller Thank you.

15:38🔗 Caller Can I ask two questions?

15:39🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah, real quickly.

15:39🔗 Caller Let's go.

15:40🔗 Caller Okay. The first one, can I just make a shout out to my girlfriend, Ashley?

15:43🔗 Juliet Cariaga All right. What's the question?

15:45🔗 Caller Well, it's that I can make the shout out. All right.

15:48🔗 Juliet Cariaga Go ahead.

15:48🔗 Caller Okay. Ashley, baby doll?

15:50🔗 Juliet Cariaga I don't know.

15:50🔗 Adam Listen, goofball.

15:51🔗 She is qualified.

15:52🔗 Juliet Cariaga What's the question?

15:53🔗 Adam Ask your question. The other night, Baby doll.

15:57🔗 Caller My girlfriend gave me a hand job and-

16:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga Is this Ashley?

16:05🔗 Caller The whole right side of my body went numb.

16:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga Was it just a feeling or was there a motor weakness also on that side of your body?

16:12🔗 Caller It was like she fell asleep.

16:14🔗 Juliet Cariaga But could you move it around?

16:16🔗 Caller Yeah, sort of, but I mean, like, it's a pin and needle, like, the whole thing.

16:19🔗 Juliet Cariaga I understand it felt like that to the way when the limb falls asleep, but was there any weakness also?

16:26🔗 Caller Not really.

16:27🔗 Not really.

16:29🔗 Adam How long did it take?

16:31🔗 Caller To what take?

16:32🔗 Juliet Cariaga To come back.

16:32🔗 Adam No, how long did the hang job take?

16:37🔗 Caller To come back.

16:38🔗 Adam No, no, listen, how long did the encounter take?

16:43🔗 Caller I couldn't tell you, maybe about 15 minutes.

16:46🔗 Adam Yeah. And see, here's what happens sometimes. Well, you do stuff, well, no, could be hyperventilation, but you do stuff sexually that you wouldn't do. You get in the positions that you wouldn't get into and you stay in those positions for a long period of time. I mean, if you just think about it, you're having sex, you're sitting on your feet or you're in some kind of bizarre position, your leg's cocked over this way or cocked over that way, and you'll stay there for a long period of time. If you weren't having sex, you'd immediately get out of that position because it would be uncomfortable.

17:16🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's right.

17:17🔗 Adam Meanwhile, you're doing nerve damage.

17:19🔗 Juliet Cariaga It could be. Do you have any history of migraines in your family? Not that I know of. Have you ever had a migraine? No. It sounds like a migraine phenomenon, but it is significant enough, Greg, that I think a doctor ought to evaluate it because there are serious things.

17:31🔗 Adam Does he have to give him a hand job?

17:32🔗 Juliet Cariaga The doctor does not have to do that. Nurses do that? No, the nurse has to do it, but it's something more serious. Evaluate it because it could be a sign of something more serious. I doubt it is, but I can't tell you not to do anything about it. It should be looked into.

17:46🔗 Adam Well, why doesn't he just wait and see what happens?

17:48🔗 Juliet Cariaga Because the next thing could be an aneurysm of blows.

17:51🔗 Adam Okay. All right.

17:53🔗 Caller Okay, thanks.

17:53🔗 Adam All right there, Greg.

17:57🔗 Caller Hey, Maynard. I'm Dr. Drew. What's up?

18:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's right. You wanted to call me Maynard, didn't you?

18:02🔗 Adam I made him call me Maynard.

18:03🔗 Caller That's my Maynard, Maynard. I was wondering if I'm going to harm my boyfriend's penis if I perform oral sex on him with pop rocks in my mouth.

18:13🔗 Adam Oh, to be young again.

18:14🔗 Juliet Cariaga You're going to harm his soul, though.

18:18🔗 Adam Pop rocks, huh? Do they still sell those?

18:20🔗 Caller Yeah, definitely. All kinds of flavors now, too.

18:23🔗 Adam I thought they outlawed those.

18:25🔗 Drew You should be careful, though, because you might choke on them yourself.

18:28🔗 Caller I'm going to use the high octane, big chunks. I use the little ones.

18:34🔗 Adam How much sensation do you need more than a nice tongue in and a little gum in down there?

18:39🔗 Drew I don't know how to point to that, is it like an ice?

18:42🔗 Caller I just thought it would be kind of different and fun.

18:44🔗 Adam He froze his penis in a block of ice?

18:46🔗 Caller No, I had to keep him alive.

18:47🔗 Adam I see.

18:48🔗 Drew Is that a fetish thing, the pop rocks?

18:51🔗 Caller No.

18:52🔗 Drew That kind of like pain thing?

18:53🔗 Adam It's teal ring.

18:54🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah, you can't irritate the urethra, and it might cost some inflammation. But this is like gerbil. This is like upping the ante, you know what I mean? Yeah, you can't irritate people and up the ante for no reason.

19:04🔗 Adam Well, here's the deal, as far as I can tell. I wouldn't like the pop rocks, because these pop rocks, they start expanding. I mean, I wouldn't want someone foaming at the mouth and having a Day Glow orange liquid dripping down my penis while I was trying to get a BJ. Plus, I'd probably get hungry. You know what I'm saying? That whole food thing always sounded like so much nonsense to me. The whipped cream on the nipples and I'm going to eat the strawberries off you.

19:33🔗 Caller I think that's like movie stuff.

19:36🔗 Drew That's more smelly than it is interesting, I think.

19:39🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah, does anyone...

19:40🔗 Adam I don't want my girlfriend looking like she has rabies when she's going down on me. Listen, here's what I'm saying, everybody. Sex is good. It's plenty good. It's enough. Eat a big meal, have a glass of wine, then have some sex.

19:56🔗 Juliet Cariaga If you're going beyond that, then it's all sort of suspect at that point.

19:59🔗 Adam Well, the problem is, I was talking to a friend of mine last night, got ahold of... I don't want to mention the guy's name. He got ahold of some of that viagra.

20:13🔗 Juliet Cariaga Oh, Sam.

20:14🔗 Adam You know, don't say his name. And he was telling me, oh man, this viagra, it's amazing. You know, I mean, it is amazing stuff. And a couple of side effects.

20:25🔗 Juliet Cariaga His arm fell off. See, blue.

20:26🔗 Adam But, see, he's a little blue. What's wrong with seeing blue, by the way? The worst colors you could see.

20:32🔗 Caller But I said to him, all right, but here's the problem with that.

20:35🔗 Adam You start using it, and then that becomes where the bar rests. And then when you have sex without it, it's kind of not what it was with it. So now, you gotta pop one every time.

20:47🔗 Drew It's kind of like orgasming with a vibrator. It's just not the same when you try to do it without it.

20:52🔗 Adam That's right.

20:53🔗 Caller Cheating.

20:54🔗 Adam That's right.

20:55🔗 Caller We talk to women all the time.

20:57🔗 Adam They get on these vibrators and they can't get weaned off of.

21:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga Right. It's more that we talk to the men who feel completely outmaneuvered by technology.

21:06🔗 Adam That's right.

21:08🔗 Drew I've heard a few threaten from that.

21:11🔗 Adam You have one of those, huh?

21:12🔗 Caller Yeah, I do.

21:13🔗 Adam I swear to God, I really think... I haven't done a formal survey, but just through sort of casual conversations with women, I really think 75% of women have one of these things somewhere.

21:27🔗 Drew Why wouldn't you, though?

21:28🔗 Caller I don't know.

21:28🔗 Drew You have to at least try it once.

21:30🔗 Adam Listen, I got one in me now.

21:31🔗 Caller Are you kidding me?

21:32🔗 Adam I'm sitting on one.

21:34🔗 Caller If I was a woman, I'd have one in the glove box. Here's how I would treat.

21:38🔗 Adam I would treat... You could replace vibrator with the word flashlight. That's one in the basement, one by the nightstand, one in the glove box, one in the garage, one in a kid on the wall, by my whole family one, make sure they knew.

21:52🔗 Drew I'm a vibrating brush in my car, so yeah, I'm pretty much there.

21:57🔗 Adam Vibrating brush?

21:58🔗 Drew Yeah, it looks like a brush, but on the back it has the bumps.

22:01🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's what Adam and me know. That's probably a brush, isn't it?

22:04🔗 Adam Well, a toothbrush is quite the same thing. Yeah, the old school electric toothbrush could do a number on you, too, guys and gals.

22:11🔗 Juliet Cariaga But hold on a second, what does the electric... If you were to think about that, it'd be over.

22:16🔗 Adam What, seriously, what is this electric brush? How does this work?

22:20🔗 Drew It vibrates. It's supposed to, I don't know, it's supposed to stimulate your head, but it doesn't do anything for my hand. It does things for other body parts.

22:27🔗 Adam It does the hair downstairs, huh?

22:29🔗 Caller Exactly.

22:30🔗 Adam And is it a brush, like a hairbrush?

22:32🔗 Caller Uh-huh, yeah.

22:33🔗 Drew Yeah, we sold them, like, in storage. You can pretty much get them, I don't know, I actually haven't seen them, but my brother had one.

22:41🔗 Adam I wonder what, I didn't want to get into that. I wonder what percentage of so-called sort of therapeutic vibrating devices go right to the groin, by the way.

22:50🔗 Drew Oh, those are the best, though. The therapeutic ones are the best.

22:53🔗 Adam Yeah, they got different attachments. I'll put my initials on so I don't get mixed up. You know, it's always funny. There used to be an Army Surplus store in North Hollywood. I used to go to when I was younger, and they sold vibrators. I mean, these were sort of phallic-shaped, standard run-of-the-mill vibrators, but the picture on the box was the woman putting it on her shoulder and being soothed. And I always thought, who are you fooling with that on your shoulder? Come on, we should throw your arm out, pitch him. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. Juliet Cariaga is here. She is the Pet, Pet, Pet, Pet, Penthouse Pet of the Year, the Millennium Pet. We'll come back with more questions after this.

23:38🔗 We about to get funky, yo.

23:41🔗 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

23:44🔗 Adam We'll be right back. Oh, yeah. The Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Juliet Cariaga is our guest tonight. She is the penthouse millennium pet of the year. She just showed me her penthouse key, her golden key. Is that what that is?

24:30🔗 Drew Key with a crown on it and diamonds and rubies.

24:33🔗 Adam Oh, really?

24:34🔗 Caller Yeah, it's really nice.

24:36🔗 Adam What do you think you could get for that?

24:38🔗 Caller I don't know.

24:38🔗 Drew I need to get it appraised.

24:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

24:40🔗 Adam You can't sell it until after your reign though.

24:41🔗 Caller Exactly.

24:42🔗 Adam Now, do you get a cape and a scepter and all that stuff too?

24:46🔗 Drew Nope.

24:47🔗 Adam No.

24:47🔗 Drew Just a lot of money.

24:48🔗 Adam All right. So now, what do you do? You could do like adult films or something?

24:54🔗 Drew I could, but I choose not to.

24:56🔗 Adam Same here? What about you? I have to do a cape horn first.

25:06🔗 Drew I don't want to.

25:07🔗 Adam That's right. You could do, well, will we be seeing you naked anywhere else?

25:13🔗 Caller I guess is the question.

25:14🔗 Caller Well, I'm doing a website.

25:15🔗 Adam All right. You'll be naked on that?

25:17🔗 Caller I hope so.

25:18🔗 Caller That's the reason why I'm doing it.

25:20🔗 Adam All right. Same with you. Nadia?

25:24🔗 Caller Hey.

25:25🔗 Adam You're 19. What's up?

25:26🔗 Caller Well, I have a question for Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, I started the Dipper-Povera shot when I was 17. This will be about my second year. I totally have no sex drive.

25:37🔗 Juliet Cariaga No sex drive? That can absolutely do that.

25:39🔗 Caller Yeah. I know they use Dipper-Povera for castration for men.

25:43🔗 Caller Well, no.

25:45🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's totally different.

25:46🔗 Caller Well, I'm sorry. I thought I'm like a specialist.

25:49🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah.

25:49🔗 Caller But I want to know what method can I do? Because I am engaged and my fiance is getting upset about it. Because I have no desire to have sex.

25:57🔗 Juliet Cariaga Do you have trouble remembering to take a pill?

26:01🔗 Caller I really don't like pills. I don't have the pill method. I can't swallow a pill right. I gag on them.

26:08🔗 How about...

26:09🔗 Adam Hold on a second. I'm getting a little nutball here. That pill is the size of half an aspirin. Maybe. Let me tell you something. When I take pills, I'll take a multivitamin, a couple vitamin C's and rocks, two Percocets and some pebbles from a pond. I'll just fill my entire mouth. I can't even talk. And then I'll just start chugging off a milk bottle. The whole thing go down in one big fat lump.

26:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:33🔗 Drew How can she eat if she can't even swallow a little pill?

26:37🔗 Caller I think if she has the fish, yes. There's also Nadia.

26:42🔗 Juliet Cariaga Nadia, do you want any other medications?

26:45🔗 Caller I want to know like what.

26:46🔗 Juliet Cariaga Are you on any other medications?

26:48🔗 Adam What else is going on with you?

26:50🔗 Caller Well, I also have increased my mood swing. I've been severely depressed because of it. I gained a whole bunch of weight because of it.

26:59🔗 Caller Anything up before that?

27:03🔗 Caller Well, of course, there's issues that have totally escalated the mood swing.

27:07🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah.

27:09🔗 Juliet Cariaga Don't bring too much on the depo shot.

27:12🔗 Adam How was your childhood?

27:15🔗 Caller Well, I grew up with my mother. I grew up in North California and my father is 80 years old. So it's kind of an issue with death.

27:24🔗 Caller Issues with death, issues with abuse.

27:28🔗 Adam Hold on there now.

27:29🔗 Juliet Cariaga Stay with the abuse part.

27:30🔗 Adam How old is your mom?

27:31🔗 Caller My mom is 38. She's 39.

27:34🔗 Adam Okay.

27:34🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, that's all right then.

27:35🔗 Adam She's with an 80-year-old. I thought she was 38. She's 39 and she's with an 80-year-old.

27:41🔗 Caller Well, they're divorced. Okay.

27:43🔗 Adam Let me do some math here. So, your mom was 20 when she had you.

27:48🔗 Juliet Cariaga She was 16.

27:48🔗 Adam Your dad was 114?

27:50🔗 Juliet Cariaga 60. 60.

27:51🔗 Adam 60 and a 20-year-old.

27:53🔗 Caller He was 19.

27:54🔗 Adam She was 19 when she got pregnant with you and he was 60 or 60.

27:59🔗 Caller Asshole.

28:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

28:01🔗 Caller He thought he was a pimp.

28:02🔗 Adam Magically, he didn't turn out to be a great guy? We're shocked.

28:07🔗 Caller And a wonderful father?

28:08🔗 Caller No, he's from the Nation of Islam.

28:10🔗 Adam I am a, I am a cyber cat.

28:12🔗 Drew That's not a money issue. That's what it sounds like.

28:14🔗 Juliet Cariaga Nation of the Bible, Islam guy.

28:15🔗 Adam Where is this Nation of Islam? Why can't they go back to the Nation of Islam? I mean, if you really think about the Nation of Islam, where is it? Where is the Nation of Islam?

28:25🔗 Caller You know, I couldn't tell you.

28:27🔗 Juliet Cariaga A transcontinental nation.

28:29🔗 Adam Where is it? Someone ought to go there. Your dad should go to the Nation of Islam. So he's 80 years old.

28:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:36🔗 Adam And you don't talk to him much?

28:39🔗 Caller No. I had problems with... He made a lot of promises.

28:43🔗 Adam Oh, sure.

28:43🔗 Caller He didn't follow through with... All right.

28:45🔗 Adam Let's hear it. And Elijah Muhammad wanted. And wait a second, though. Was there any views?

28:53🔗 Caller Not with him. There's more like blatant racism. He doesn't like white people.

28:59🔗 Adam He doesn't like white people?

29:00🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

29:02🔗 Juliet Cariaga Why does that affect you so much?

29:04🔗 Caller Well, because, you know, he kind of brainwashed my mother because she was younger and it was very hard.

29:10🔗 Juliet Cariaga What color is she?

29:11🔗 Caller My mom? Yeah.

29:12🔗 He's kind of...

29:14🔗 Caller We have a lot of French and Italian in our blood.

29:16🔗 Adam But is she...

29:17🔗 Caller My mom can pass for like Native American, Mexican.

29:20🔗 Adam Well, what is she? She's not black, though.

29:22🔗 Caller No, she's black. We're mixed.

29:24🔗 Caller Real mixed breed.

29:25🔗 Adam All right.

29:25🔗 Caller All right.

29:26🔗 Adam So you're sort of mixed. But I mean, you're black, right?

29:31🔗 Caller All right. Well, who abused you?

29:34🔗 Caller My mom.

29:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:36🔗 Adam All right.

29:37🔗 Caller I'm the oldest of my kids.

29:39🔗 Caller No. Wow. It's a lot of issues.

29:42🔗 Adam I'll tell you, it kills me.

29:44🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, don't rush to marriage. No, maybe. And what if you figure out more who you are?

29:47🔗 Adam What's your mood problem settled down?

29:49🔗 Juliet Cariaga Don't think about it.

29:49🔗 Adam If I was in charge, I would have sterilized your mom a long time ago.

29:53🔗 Juliet Cariaga And get on a regular birth control pill. Triphasic pills actually have a higher probability of sustaining your sex trial.

29:59🔗 Well, is there any way I can maybe reduce the hormone?

30:02🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, no.

30:03🔗 Adam You got to switch to a more norplant. Nadia, listen to me. You are putting a lot in the birth control car. Yeah.

30:12🔗 Caller Well, I just know that it's-

30:13🔗 Adam No, no, no, no.

30:13🔗 Caller Listen to me.

30:15🔗 Adam You got a thousand and ten issues. You really do. And the Debra Bavara is the least of your worries.

30:22🔗 Caller It's water. It's water.

30:23🔗 Adam I know, but she's talking everything up to that. It ain't that. Believe me, you got bigger fish to fry.

30:29🔗 Caller Well, let's just say it put it from the subconscious to the conscious.

30:32🔗 Caller No, no. Just listen to me, goofball.

30:34🔗 Adam You need to A, not get married for a little while. B, don't have any kids. Please, no kids and get some therapy and read some books and work out some issues and do your birth control. But that ain't all of it. That ain't, that's not even scratching the surface. I got weird vibe from her immediately. Yeah.

30:53🔗 Caller All right.

30:54🔗 Adam You're not doing the job, are you? Josh?

30:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:57🔗 Adam You're 21?

30:58🔗 Caller What's up, man?

30:59🔗 Juliet Cariaga You know what I got from her also was like big story.

31:02🔗 Juliet Cariaga Like we never get through it in too many.

31:03🔗 Adam Now, don't make excuses.

31:04🔗 Juliet Cariaga Say what's your question.

31:06🔗 Adam Don't make excuses. Go ahead.

31:08🔗 Caller All right. This is what happened on Saturday night.

31:14🔗 Adam Let me take this moment to say that the main show is on now. If you're listening on the one day delay, east of the Mississippi. What's going on there?

31:25🔗 Caller This is what happened.

31:26🔗 Adam This is what happened on Saturday night.

31:28🔗 Caller We were partying and me and a buddy ended up with this chick in the bedroom. Both of us ended up having sex with her. Then I went back out to the party and found out it was one of my buddy's girlfriends that I didn't know about. This is what I'm pondering. I'm trying to wonder if we should tell them or not.

31:47🔗 Juliet Cariaga Pondering.

31:49🔗 Caller You do a lot of pondering, Josh. I do a lot.

31:51🔗 Adam Okay, listen. No, you shouldn't tell them. All right. And how is it that this is a good friend of yours' girlfriend and you didn't know it?

31:59🔗 Caller Well, because I guess he just moved her down from Wisconsin and I hadn't seen him in a while. You know?

32:04🔗 Adam And, Josh.

32:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:09🔗 Adam Which part of construction are you in? Come on.

32:13🔗 Caller That's just messed up. What is it? What should we do?

32:15🔗 Adam Drywall framing? Come on.

32:18🔗 Caller Let's just leave that alone.

32:19🔗 Adam Which one?

32:19🔗 Caller Come on.

32:20🔗 Adam Which trade are you in?

32:21🔗 Caller Uh, drywall. Are you? There it is.

32:24🔗 Adam Yeah. That's right.

32:29🔗 Caller I could smell it on you, brother.

32:31🔗 Adam I know construction guys.

32:33🔗 Caller There it is, man.

32:34🔗 Adam All right, Josh. Listen, don't tell your friend. Tell your other friend not to say anything and just play stupid. Believe me, this is going to cause trouble, especially with these blue collar guys who like to drink and stuff. This is in the, you know, they like their guns, they like the booze and they're prone to violence. I wouldn't say anything.

32:52🔗 Caller That's great.

32:53🔗 Adam What was the first thing I said after I said, which branch of construction are you in?

32:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga Drywall or framing.

32:59🔗 Adam Right. But what came first?

33:00🔗 Caller Drywall.

33:01🔗 Adam That's right. That is right. And I don't know. I, you know, I don't, I don't say it that much.

33:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga Not with that kind of conviction.

33:10🔗 Caller I just don't.

33:11🔗 Adam I mean, I, I, every, Well, you never miss. 50th call or I'll say, what part of construction are you in?

33:16🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah, you're not missing out.

33:17🔗 Caller But you notice that wasn't the work around metal. Yeah, I know.

33:20🔗 Adam There's a different kind of white trash here. There's intricacies to the white trash. Believe me, I know.

33:26🔗 Caller Is that good white?

33:28🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

33:29🔗 Caller That's white trash. Are you sure you don't put it back?

33:32🔗 Adam Don't punch the mic through. Latino?

33:34🔗 Caller Latino.

33:34🔗 Adam Josh?

33:35🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah.

33:36🔗 Adam Well, listen, you may white trash if you're Mexican.

33:39🔗 Caller What's your ethnicity, Josh?

33:40🔗 Juliet Cariaga What's that? What's your ethnicity?

33:42🔗 Caller Oh, I'm white.

33:43🔗 Adam Yeah. Thanks, Josh. Two for two, baby. No mess with me. I'm like Creskin.

33:49🔗 Caller Oh, Doug Hanning died.

33:50🔗 Adam I know Doug Hanning died.

33:52🔗 Caller I know it.

33:54🔗 Juliet Cariaga We haven't talked about that on the radio.

33:56🔗 Caller I don't think that one.

33:57🔗 Adam Doug Hanning was probably the world's most famous magician of the 70s and possibly into the early 80s. A sort of predecessor to guys like Hopperfield, these guys are working today. I made a reference to Doug Hanning on the Loveline, the TV show sitting in between you and our co-host, Catherine McCord. Neither one of these baboons knew who this guy was and stared at me like they are on Peyote. I of course was the idiot because you have two college educated people sitting on my right and my left and covering all the spectrum. I think Catherine is like 25 and Drew you are like 57.

34:40🔗 Caller No, you are like 41 or something.

34:43🔗 Adam One of you should have known this. Neither one of you did and they both made it seem like I was insane.

34:48🔗 Drew It doesn't make you smart if you don't know who somebody is because they don't know who that person is.

34:52🔗 Adam Drew should know. Listen, you concentrate on the pen-pens. Don't worry about that. Drew is a doctor over here for Christ sakes.

35:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga You would like me and brought pictures of him.

35:03🔗 Adam Well, the whole crew knew who Doug Henning was and I went nuts because once I latch on to something I won't let it go. Everyone admits I'm right.

35:11🔗 Caller Your ADD will let it go.

35:13🔗 Adam I was sitting at the man show office today and they brought by an obituary, Doug Henning and they said, I said, Drew will not care because he has no idea who Doug Henning is.

35:25🔗 Juliet Cariaga I was delighted to hear that he was planning a theme park.

35:28🔗 Juliet Cariaga Transcendental theme park.

35:30🔗 Adam That's right. Called like Vettelworld or something. Some bizarre TSM thing. Transcendental, ATM thing. All right. Where the hell were we? We're taking a break. We are? All right. We'll do that. Juliet Cariaga is here. She is the Penthouse Millennium Pent of the Year. Drew stopped banging on stuff. When we come back, we'll speak to Jason who's 18. Gave a guy a BJ during a threesome, and girlfriend now is angry and avoiding him. All right. We'll live talk to him after this.

36:09🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back.

36:22🔗 All in the back.

36:26🔗 Adam And that's only when you're on top.

36:28🔗 Caller Right.

36:29🔗 Juliet Cariaga Are you aware of anything else that's happening?

36:33🔗 Caller Huh, no.

36:35🔗 Adam Maybe his penis is hitting her kidneys or something.

36:37🔗 Juliet Cariaga Or ovary.

36:38🔗 Adam Can that happen?

36:39🔗 Caller You can get a penis to her kidney?

36:40🔗 Adam No, because I got to go through the side to get the kidney. I've done it, but it's still through the side. Ovary, huh?

36:51🔗 Drew Yeah, tell him not to push her hard.

36:53🔗 Caller Is he well-endowed?

36:55🔗 Caller Um...

36:56🔗 Juliet Cariaga about average. About average, huh?

37:00🔗 Adam And if he experiences pain in this position, why do you do this position?

37:05🔗 Caller Because...

37:06🔗 Drew That's what he likes. No, actually I am the one who liked it because he can hit my cervix better.

37:12🔗 Juliet Cariaga Okay, with your cervix, why is that important to you?

37:15🔗 Drew Because it feels good.

37:16🔗 Juliet Cariaga All right, well that's the area he's hitting that's causing pain.

37:19🔗 Drew But it's only when I'm on top.

37:21🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well that's when it's hitting more deeply.

37:23🔗 Adam Hey, listen here, Columbo, you can't do the math. He hits the cervix only when you're on top and then that's the only time you have the pain.

37:32🔗 Juliet Cariaga It could be your bladder, it could be the uterus flipping around, all that stuff can cause back pain.

37:37🔗 Adam All right, Melanie?

37:38🔗 Drew Okay.

37:38🔗 Adam All right, so it's important to get drunk before you get on top.

37:41🔗 Drew All right, thank you.

37:43🔗 Adam She was really doing some math there, wasn't she? Blair? Yeah? You're fourteen.

37:49🔗 Caller Well, my boyfriend's twenty-four and I just want to be friends, but he doesn't and I don't know how he can get into just being friends with me.

37:56🔗 Drew Impossible.

37:58🔗 Adam You're fourteen and he's twenty-four?

38:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:00🔗 Adam He sounds like a wonderful individual. I don't understand why you want to break things off of them and just be friends. And by the way, do you really want to be friends with this guy? This dirtbag. He's twenty-four. What do you talk about?

38:13🔗 Caller Well, I just want to be a friend.

38:14🔗 Drew Well, from a girl's perspective, I've tried plenty of times to be just friends with guys, and if they're not willing, then it's just not going to work out and you're not going to be friends with them. If you try to be friends with them and they don't want to, then there's nothing that you can really do.

38:30🔗 Adam Well, she can't. He won't let her break up with her.

38:33🔗 Drew Well, you got to do what's best for you, you know what I mean?

38:36🔗 Adam Hey, Blair, how'd you meet this guy?

38:39🔗 Caller He's at my school.

38:40🔗 Drew To teach?

38:41🔗 Adam What's he do at your school?

38:43🔗 Caller He's my swim coach.

38:45🔗 Juliet Cariaga Swim coach?

38:46🔗 Adam I don't know if he hates that.

38:47🔗 Drew It's guys like these that give bad names to good teachers.

38:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga You just tell anybody over there what your concerns are, and I'm sure you'll be protected.

38:57🔗 Adam How does this work that he's your boyfriend?

39:01🔗 Juliet Cariaga You know what I mean?

39:01🔗 Adam I understand you guys sneaking away, but how can you be your boyfriend and your swim coach and nobody knows about it?

39:07🔗 Drew That's probably what he's telling you.

39:10🔗 Juliet Cariaga How do we have any time without people knowing about it?

39:12🔗 Adam Where do you guys meet? What do you do? Do you have sex?

39:15🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah.

39:16🔗 Caller And where?

39:19🔗 Caller At his house.

39:20🔗 Adam At his house. And does he come pick you up? Or do you ride your bike over to his house?

39:25🔗 Caller No, he takes me home after school.

39:27🔗 Drew This is definitely not a good situation. You should either tell a parental guidance teacher.

39:35🔗 Juliet Cariaga Any adult. Tell them what's going on.

39:36🔗 Drew He's abusing you.

39:37🔗 Juliet Cariaga This is a very sick guy.

39:40🔗 Adam Hey, Blair?

39:41🔗 Caller Yeah?

39:42🔗 Adam Plus, he probably has that green hair from being in the pool too much, right?

39:46🔗 Drew No.

39:47🔗 Juliet Cariaga Were you sexually abusing somebody growing up?

39:49🔗 Caller No.

39:50🔗 Juliet Cariaga Really?

39:51🔗 Adam Boy, you got that voice, man. Blair?

39:55🔗 Caller Yeah?

39:55🔗 Adam Hold on a second. All right? We're going to take a break, then we'll get back, and we'll finish up with you, all right?

40:01🔗 Caller Okay.

40:01🔗 Adam All right. Something's going on with Blair.

40:03🔗 Juliet Cariaga Oh, yeah.

40:04🔗 Adam I mean, besides this guy.

40:05🔗 Juliet Cariaga Absolutely.

40:06🔗 Adam She's got the voice, and I don't know where daddy and mommy are, or who dropped the ball over there, but something's going on. But I'd like to see this guy get busted. Yeah, definitely. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break, and we'll be back with more Blair after this.

40:22🔗 Caller Let's have some more fun.

40:23🔗 Okay, let's do it.

40:26🔗 Caller Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

40:32🔗 Caller Well, here's how it sample.

40:48🔗 Adam Yep, it's Loveline. We're gonna take a quick 10-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the program in just 10 seconds.

40:55🔗 Caller This is Loveline, our radio station.

41:10🔗 Adam It's Loveline, we're back. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Our guest tonight is Juliet Cariaga. Juliet Cariaga is the Penhouse Millennium Petit of the Year. And she's got the gold and diamond encrusted key hanging around her neck to prove it. She got herself 100 grand, but no car.

41:33🔗 Drew I didn't get it yet, but in 1998 they gave the Petit of the Year a Kia Sport. So I'd kind of rather have it in the money.

41:41🔗 Adam A Kia Sport?

41:43🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, it's all because of the people that they give the car to the pet and whoever's willing to give.

41:51🔗 Adam Yeah, but getting hooked up with Kia.

41:55🔗 Drew That was the only candidate, I think, at that time because of how crazy they've gotten, you know what I mean?

41:59🔗 Adam You get like a Korean minivan worth 11 grand. What the hell is that? I mean, you better off giving me a toilet at her cell. Jesus. What's that like, Guccione?

42:11🔗 Drew What is this class? That's not his thing.

42:13🔗 Adam Yes, and if I was Guccione, I'd dig in my own pocket, get in my corvette. You hear me? My own pocket.

42:19🔗 Juliet Cariaga Is this the dad or the son that has this magazine?

42:21🔗 Caller It's the dad.

42:22🔗 Drew The son has been magazine-ish and I got the... Yeah, he has the bug gear now, right?

42:28🔗 Juliet Cariaga Gear.

42:28🔗 Drew Something like that.

42:29🔗 Juliet Cariaga We had a model, remember?

42:30🔗 Drew Yeah, Bob Guccione Jr. Was that one of mine being on the cover of that magazine, Bob?

42:34🔗 Caller Bob Guccione Jr. He's a nice guy.

42:37🔗 Adam He'll probably be on again. And his dad is the senior, but I guess they don't talk.

42:45🔗 Drew Yeah, they're in some legal dispute.

42:48🔗 Adam I'm going to sue my parents for not coming to Pop Warner Football Games coming up.

42:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga I know that you will. That is irreparable harm, matter of fact.

42:56🔗 Adam Yeah, look at me.

42:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga I've been damaged by it.

42:59🔗 Adam That's right. Damage all the way to the bank, you jackass. So Blair, my pain is your profit, buddy. Better hope I don't get myself fixed up.

43:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga Right now, my pain is my pain.

43:11🔗 Adam Quiet now.

43:12🔗 Juliet Cariaga Blair?

43:13🔗 Caller Yeah?

43:14🔗 Adam Yeah, right. So you're 14, you're dating, or your boyfriend is your swim coach, he's 24 years old.

43:21🔗 Juliet Cariaga And we're trying to figure out.

43:22🔗 Adam You are what, in the ninth grade?

43:24🔗 Caller Eighth.

43:25🔗 Caller Eighth grade.

43:27🔗 Adam Okay, so other than this, Blair, what is up?

43:30🔗 Juliet Cariaga What happened to you?

43:32🔗 Caller Nothing, really.

43:33🔗 Juliet Cariaga Where is your parents?

43:35🔗 Caller My dad works.

43:36🔗 Juliet Cariaga Your dad works?

43:38🔗 Adam Let me write that down.

43:39🔗 Juliet Cariaga Your dad has a child.

43:41🔗 Adam His dad is a dentist.

43:42🔗 Juliet Cariaga And mom?

43:43🔗 Caller She was killed in a car accident.

43:45🔗 Juliet Cariaga She was killed in a car accident. Don't you think maybe that has a little impact on your feelings?

43:52🔗 Caller Maybe.

43:52🔗 Juliet Cariaga How long ago was your mother killed?

43:55🔗 Caller When I was two.

43:56🔗 Adam When you were two. And you never had a step mom?

43:59🔗 Caller No.

43:59🔗 Adam And dad just raised you? But wasn't dad at work all the time?

44:04🔗 Caller His grandma helped out.

44:05🔗 Juliet Cariaga His grandma? His grandma? Not his mom?

44:09🔗 Adam No.

44:10🔗 Caller No, his grandma.

44:10🔗 Adam Oh, his grandma.

44:11🔗 Juliet Cariaga What was she like?

44:13🔗 Caller It was nice.

44:14🔗 Juliet Cariaga Who was his mom?

44:16🔗 Caller I don't know.

44:17🔗 Adam Okay.

44:17🔗 Juliet Cariaga You don't...

44:17🔗 Adam wait, wait.

44:18🔗 Juliet Cariaga You don't know where your grandma was?

44:21🔗 Adam She left.

44:22🔗 Juliet Cariaga Okay. Was dad a tough guy? Yeah. Really tough.

44:27🔗 Adam Tough guy, but all the nitrous she could eat.

44:30🔗 Juliet Cariaga Really strict, right? Yeah. Like physically a little tough sometimes?

44:35🔗 Caller Sometimes. Yeah.

44:36🔗 Adam Okay. So maybe you were physically abused a little bit?

44:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:41🔗 Adam Your dad beat on you?

44:44🔗 Caller A little.

44:44🔗 Juliet Cariaga Okay. So we got from... everything's perfectly fine to mom died of stress physically.

44:49🔗 Adam Any sexual abuse?

44:51🔗 Caller No.

44:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga No rapes?

44:52🔗 Adam No.

44:53🔗 Juliet Cariaga No?

44:53🔗 Caller No.

44:54🔗 Adam A good amount of physical abuse certainly will cause...

44:57🔗 Juliet Cariaga She's got that... it's like a beaten animal.

44:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:59🔗 Adam It's like talking to a dog that has its tail between its legs. Blair, you need to empower yourself a little bit.

45:06🔗 Caller You need to stand up.

45:08🔗 Adam You really need to stand up to this guy. He's a criminal.

45:11🔗 Juliet Cariaga He's a disturbed guy. He's taking advantage of your vulnerability. Okay? And you have the sense to know that you need to get away from this guy. He won't let you... you've got to tell another adult at school or your parent or your dad or somebody that can help you out of this because this... We don't know what this guy's capable of. We know he's not a good guy. Yes. And we know he needs to be dealt with.

45:33🔗 Drew Yeah, it's not you don't feel like you're going to get punished or anything like that. It's definitely not you.

45:37🔗 Adam No, you will not be punished.

45:38🔗 Juliet Cariaga Unless he should prey on someone else. You've got to out this guy.

45:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:42🔗 Adam Yeah. We'll do this again. Blair?

45:45🔗 Caller Yeah?

45:46🔗 Adam You have to say something to somebody. Do you have a friend you can talk to?

45:53🔗 Caller Not really.

45:54🔗 Drew You should really talk to an adult, though.

45:55🔗 Adam You don't have any friends? I'm just trying to get her going. You don't have any friends?

46:01🔗 Caller I kind of keep to myself.

46:02🔗 Adam Are there any teachers you like?

46:05🔗 Caller Kind of.

46:06🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's who you should talk to.

46:07🔗 Adam Yeah, find that teacher you like and talk to them. And why are you on the swim team, by the way, if you keep to yourself? I mean, it doesn't sound like the kind of... You don't sound like an activity-oriented person. How did you get on the swim team?

46:21🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'm good at it. You're a good swimmer? Okay.

46:24🔗 Adam What's your event?

46:27🔗 Juliet Cariaga Okay.

46:28🔗 Adam Well, listen, talk to that teacher you like and tell them what's going on.

46:33🔗 Juliet Cariaga Would you please? Maybe.

46:36🔗 Adam All right. Well, listen. I don't know. All right. I don't know. I can't go to her house. I don't know what to do.

46:44🔗 Juliet Cariaga She can connect to us.

46:45🔗 Adam All right. But listen, all you jackasses that beat your daughters, this is what happens. Don't worry.

46:51🔗 It's like a...

46:53🔗 Adam What the hell?

46:55🔗 Caller I'm trying to think of a... No.

46:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga I got to stop smoking the weed. Indeed you do.

47:01🔗 Caller It is like...

47:03🔗 Adam I'm trying to think of a track event where they hand a goddamn baton to the next guy. Relay. It's like a relay. I kept saying marathon. It's like a relay, which is...

47:11🔗 Caller When you're done beating them, you will then turn them over to another guy who will then beat them.

47:17🔗 Adam That's how it works.

47:17🔗 Juliet Cariaga We'll treat them accordingly.

47:18🔗 Caller Yes.

47:19🔗 Adam It's okay, Dads.

47:20🔗 Juliet Cariaga We'll carry the baton for you. Yes.

47:21🔗 Adam You beat them for a while, and then they get a little too big for beating, and then they get out of the house, and then they hook up with some other a-hole, and he continues the beating, and the sexual abuse.

47:29🔗 Juliet Cariaga The beating takes many forms, then. It's not always...

47:31🔗 Adam Right. That baton goes in many places.

47:34🔗 Drew People have a disillusion of what... A lot of people think that they shouldn't see a psychiatrist, and they have a lot of problems in the past and stuff like that. There's a lot of people in this world that I've talked to, you know, that say, Oh, no, I don't need to see a psychiatrist. I think a lot of people, even if you don't really have any deep psychological problems, you should still see a psychiatrist because of, you know, one little thing that's going on in your life. If your boyfriend breaks up with you or whatever, you should still see a psychiatrist to help you. You need a third person and a third party in your life to talk to you.

48:03🔗 Juliet Cariaga Actually, it's an interesting point. People should look at that as part of their health maintenance.

48:07🔗 Drew Yeah, definitely. Definitely. No matter if you have huge psychological problems or just the simplest things, you know what I mean?

48:13🔗 Adam I'm going to the shrink tomorrow, everybody. I'm supposed to go today.

48:17🔗 Juliet Cariaga You're going to talk over, Jane?

48:18🔗 Caller No.

48:19🔗 Adam We have stare downs.

48:22🔗 Caller That's good, though.

48:23🔗 Adam That's good. We just stare at each other. Let me try that.

48:24🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's a good trick.

48:25🔗 Drew How did you get that far, though?

48:26🔗 Caller How did you get that far?

48:27🔗 Adam Just stare at him.

48:27🔗 Drew Just stare at him.

48:28🔗 Juliet Cariaga Just be silent. See that steely look? Yeah, they actually have a feeling in that room, maybe.

48:33🔗 Oh.

48:34🔗 Drew True.

48:35🔗 Adam It's merrity. Please. I'm more self-actualizing than you'll ever know.

48:40🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's true.

48:42🔗 Adam Okay. Jennifer?

48:44🔗 Caller Hello. Hi, Adam.

48:45🔗 Adam I'm supposed to go to Shrink today, you know, Tuesday's my day.

48:49🔗 Juliet Cariaga I thought once it was your day.

48:49🔗 Adam But we had to do a man show bit where we gave fake names to St. Peter at the pearly gate, you know, Dick Goes In You and that kind of good stuff like that, you know? That's what I was doing instead of sitting at the therapist office.

49:03🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'm going to tomorrow.

49:05🔗 Adam Jennifer?

49:06🔗 Caller Hi.

49:06🔗 Adam Yeah, you're 39.

49:07🔗 Caller Adam, I love your inner animal.

49:09🔗 Caller I think you're funny, democious and silly and I want to go on a date with you.

49:13🔗 Adam All right. You crazy, impetuous fool.

49:16🔗 Caller Tonight.

49:17🔗 Caller Cool, tonight?

49:18🔗 Adam That's right.

49:19🔗 Caller Okay, come out to Colorado.

49:20🔗 Drew I'm in the mountains.

49:21🔗 Adam Well, listen.

49:22🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, Jennifer, what is your sort of chromosomal makeup?

49:25🔗 Caller Oh, I'm a transsexual.

49:27🔗 Caller Oh, that's all right.

49:29🔗 Drew You couldn't tell that?

49:30🔗 Adam I could tell that. Hold on. Jennifer.

49:31🔗 Drew Yeah.

49:32🔗 Adam They got liquor stores there? Of course they have liquor stores. You're back.

49:37🔗 Caller I'm 38, 30, 38.

49:39🔗 Caller I have a beautiful body.

49:40🔗 Caller You love me. I'm truly exotic.

49:42🔗 Adam Hold on. 38, 30? 38?

49:47🔗 Caller Yeah. Wow.

49:48🔗 Adam That's not an hourglass. Look at an hour and a half glass.

49:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's a lot of currants.

49:52🔗 Caller I'm a great kisser.

49:54🔗 Juliet Cariaga Oh yeah.

49:55🔗 Caller As long as you shave, you know. Who would know better what a man likes? Listen, I'm not in a smooch and a guy with a stubble.

50:04🔗 Juliet Cariaga This may bridge your desire to be gay, though.

50:06🔗 Drew Yeah, don't knock a teddy-toy out.

50:07🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, Adam must be gay.

50:08🔗 Adam Yeah, I want to be gay.

50:09🔗 Juliet Cariaga This may be it. This may get you there. This will get you there.

50:12🔗 Adam That's an interesting point.

50:13🔗 Juliet Cariaga At least you'll be with this person.

50:15🔗 Drew At least you're halfway there with this person.

50:16🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, you'll be there sort of with the genetic mix. Right, and you've got to make that commitment to the penis.

50:21🔗 Adam Right.

50:22🔗 Caller Yeah, that's the problem.

50:24🔗 Juliet Cariaga You don't have a penis? You what?

50:26🔗 Caller I'm a pretty p...

50:27🔗 Adam You do?

50:28🔗 Drew Yeah, well, you'll be halfway there, like I said.

50:30🔗 Adam Hey, Jennifer, listen, you're in Colorado? Ironically, I'm going to Aspen tomorrow. I should be rolling in the town about 730.

50:40🔗 Caller Let's roll in the snow.

50:42🔗 Adam All right, we'll make little snow angels. I'm in that big 38 butter years. Oh, Jennifer. Listen, let me explain the inner animal.

50:52🔗 Caller Yeah?

50:52🔗 Adam It's a hamster that went up my ass. That's the only animal that's in me.

50:56🔗 Caller What about lust and hunger and adventure and thirst and yearning?

51:00🔗 Adam I'm going to nap on it and get back to you.

51:02🔗 Juliet Cariaga That is not Adam.

51:03🔗 Adam No, I like to masturbate, nap and watch TV.

51:07🔗 Caller Okay.

51:07🔗 Caller That's the inner animal. I love schlongs.

51:11🔗 Adam The inner animal leaves a sloth.

51:13🔗 Caller We just find ways to turn the volume up.

51:16🔗 Adam I'm not interested in that. I'm trying to tone down a little bit here, Jennifer.

51:20🔗 Caller Okay.

51:21🔗 Adam Jennifer, how good of a job could they have done on you?

51:23🔗 Caller Perfect.

51:24🔗 Adam Perfect?

51:25🔗 Caller Perfect.

51:25🔗 Drew I think you have more chance of Drew.

51:27🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, I'm happy to marry.

51:29🔗 Adam Where's your Adam's apple?

51:32🔗 Juliet Cariaga Did they shave?

51:33🔗 Caller In Trinidad.

51:34🔗 Caller Did they shave that down?

51:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:36🔗 Adam Where'd you get the operation done?

51:37🔗 Caller I'm a Viber baby.

51:39🔗 Caller Dr. Stanley Viber in Colorado.

51:41🔗 Juliet Cariaga Really? Who's the Colorado group?

51:43🔗 Adam These idiots. Believe me, if I was in charge, these guys would all be stripped of their licenses.

51:48🔗 Caller He's Catholic.

51:49🔗 Juliet Cariaga Oh, well, good.

51:51🔗 Adam Tell them I'll see them in hell. Cutting off penises for a living.

51:55🔗 Caller Saving lives.

51:56🔗 Adam Yeah. Did you go through the year of psychological evaluation?

51:59🔗 Caller Two.

52:00🔗 Adam Two years.

52:01🔗 Caller Sure.

52:01🔗 Adam And then they realized you were sane enough to get your Johnson lopped off?

52:05🔗 Caller Well, who's sane enough to know, but yes.

52:07🔗 Juliet Cariaga All right.

52:07🔗 Adam And you're one of these women who's trapped inside a man's body?

52:11🔗 Caller Well, I've always been a woman, so it's just was harder to tell. Now it's fine.

52:15🔗 Juliet Cariaga Right.

52:16🔗 Adam Okay. All right, Jennifer, listen, good luck to you.

52:18🔗 Juliet Cariaga Do you work?

52:19🔗 Caller Oh, I'm a nurse.

52:20🔗 Adam Oh, perfect.

52:21🔗 Caller Nurses are good.

52:22🔗 Adam Yes. All right, you take care of those folks.

52:25🔗 Caller We see things that no one else sees.

52:27🔗 Adam All right, hey, uh, Jennifer?

52:29🔗 Caller Yeah?

52:30🔗 Adam Promise me you're not gonna pull any plugs on anything or put any pillows over anyone's head while they're sleeping, right?

52:34🔗 Caller Only you if you beg for it.

52:36🔗 Adam All right, you little minx. Listen, if I get drunk enough, how far is Aspen from where you are? You have my number.

52:43🔗 Caller I'll find you.

52:44🔗 Adam Where are you? How far from Aspen are you?

52:47🔗 Caller Um, an hour.

52:48🔗 Adam An hour?

52:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:49🔗 Adam I can make it there in a half hour if I get loaded.

52:52🔗 Caller I can put your Ferrari in and go real fast.

52:54🔗 Adam All right, we'll do it right out in the car.

52:56🔗 Caller Okay.

52:57🔗 Adam All right, you stay hot. You take a nice shower for me. I like my women, men clean.

53:01🔗 Caller I'll get hot and sweaty, too.

53:04🔗 Adam Okay.

53:05🔗 Juliet Cariaga Aren't you a little freaked out?

53:07🔗 Caller Listen, anyone who's a nurse is nuts.

53:10🔗 Adam That I've learned as an adult in life. I don't trust any nurses. And this whole transsexual thing, this is a disaster. It really is. The argument is, is wait a minute, I'm a woman trapped inside a man's body.

53:26🔗 Caller That means you're nuts. You understand me, everybody?

53:30🔗 Adam It's not like some people actually have women trapped inside them.

53:34🔗 Caller They're nuts with women in them. You understand? As a matter of fact, forget about the woman part. Pick anything and say it's trapped in you. Bozo, chipmunk, the devil, Jesus, an alien, whatever's trapped in you means you're nuts. When something's in you other than guts, gizzard and belly, it means you're nuts. Of course it means you're nuts. That's what's trapped in you. A nut job is trapped in you. That's you have in you. Same sex, nuts.

54:13🔗 Drew I better not tell you that I have a man trapped in my body to get him out.

54:18🔗 Adam Couldn't possibly fit a man into that beautiful body of yours. It is the definition of crazy wanting to be another gender. Of course it is.

54:27🔗 Juliet Cariaga Did you see the USA Today Today?

54:29🔗 Caller No.

54:30🔗 Juliet Cariaga There was an article in the Life section about the new books on Abraham Lincoln. It was a big on lengthy story about...

54:36🔗 Adam You're on a airport, right?

54:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:38🔗 Adam The only time you're seeing USA Today is when you're in Chicago waiting for a plane.

54:42🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's it.

54:42🔗 Adam Go ahead.

54:43🔗 Juliet Cariaga Bingo. And it goes on, and I'm looking at childhood, and he was Lincoln gay, he was bisexual, slept in a bed with a man, but of course that was okay, and that's what men did in those days, and blah, blah, blah. And at the end of the article, it's talking about the authorist going around the country and driving around, and she did this and she did that, and then they say, basically, well, she's in a great position to assess whether or not this guy has gender issues. After all, she was a man before she was transformed. Well, thanks for including us in that little piece.

55:13🔗 Adam She's, by the way, when people are crazy, they should tell you right up top, so you know not to pay any attention to the article, the seminar, the lecture, whatever it is they're delivering. Marilyn?

55:23🔗 Caller Yes?

55:23🔗 Adam You're seventeen?

55:25🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

55:26🔗 Adam What's up?

55:26🔗 Juliet Cariaga It's the way we think, Marilyn. Compare this voice to Jennifer's. It's the same thing.

55:32🔗 Drew This one sounds a little more sexy.

55:33🔗 Juliet Cariaga This is a woman, though. This is a woman, but the same stuff going on.

55:37🔗 Caller I'm seventeen.

55:38🔗 Adam You got that girly voice.

55:40🔗 Caller Thanks.

55:41🔗 Adam It's not a good thing.

55:43🔗 Caller No, it's not.

55:44🔗 Adam What happened to you?

55:45🔗 Caller Actually, there's kind of something pounding in my head as far as my sexuality goes. Well, I've been real good friends with this friend of mine, and she's twenty-one now. And I met her through a nightclub because we both were cover dancers. And I've never considered myself being bisexual. I mean, I've seen beauty in guys and girls that lifted us up. And I've been to her like a couple of months ago, and she got a big job and everything. She's in the adult industry. And she's just really at ease with her sexuality.

56:20🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, no, no, no, we were a boy.

56:21🔗 Drew At ease?

56:23🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, that's not being at ease. That's being out of control with it.

56:26🔗 Caller Hello.

56:27🔗 Drew Be careful what you're saying. I'm in the business. Well, kind of, yeah. Yeah, I'm in the peon house, that's close enough, isn't it?

56:34🔗 Caller I mean, being open-minded, I guess.

56:36🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm very open-minded in terms of sexuality. I think that... Have you ever had thoughts about a woman besides this girl?

56:45🔗 Caller I've never had any prior to her, but she made me feel so comfortable.

56:49🔗 Juliet Cariaga Here's the thing, now, you know, all this aside, what happened to you growing up? Were you sexually abused at a young age?

56:56🔗 Caller Uh, no.

56:59🔗 Juliet Cariaga What happened?

57:00🔗 Caller Um, I, I, well, I've talked to many girls, and Robert told me, well, pretty much a lot of females are curious.

57:06🔗 Juliet Cariaga No. What happened? We're not talking about sexual identity at all.

57:09🔗 Adam What happened growing up?

57:11🔗 Juliet Cariaga We're talking about how you're making us feel.

57:13🔗 Caller What is only something that doesn't have to go back?

57:15🔗 Adam Listen, where's your dad? How many guys have you been with?

57:26🔗 Juliet Cariaga Two.

57:29🔗 Adam Nobody ghosted you, no neighbor kids, so I got their hands on you when you were younger?

57:33🔗 Caller No, no, no, no. Not at all. But I think it has to do with me feeling more comfortable and the alcohol being involved and stuff.

57:42🔗 Juliet Cariaga You're drinking?

57:43🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

57:44🔗 Juliet Cariaga Is there alcohol in your family?

57:46🔗 Caller No, it was just a party night and got a little bit out of hand.

57:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga Your dad is not an alcoholic?

57:52🔗 Adam No, she doesn't know he's in Puerto Rico.

57:54🔗 Juliet Cariaga Not everyone in Puerto Rico is an alcoholic. Are you kidding?

57:57🔗 Adam They just try to come home and stag around the streets.

58:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'm trying to stay away from the sexual identity issues because that's separate from how you make me feel. There's something sort of going on.

58:07🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm getting that vibe too.

58:09🔗 Juliet Cariaga I don't know what it is.

58:10🔗 Adam Well, it doesn't matter.

58:11🔗 Juliet Cariaga She's not going to tell us.

58:12🔗 Adam We'll turn over all the cards.

58:13🔗 Caller Well, basically I just want to know whether it's something that my curiosity just took over and that's it or whether I should look into it and think about it.

58:21🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, you're 17. Just figure it out. Yeah. Don't go acting on impulse. Just figure out what you want.

58:27🔗 Drew I think a lot of girls nowadays think it's kind of almost a trend to be with women. It's almost hip to do it. You should really think about it and figure it out within yourself before you choose to be with a girl if you really want to do that or if it's just an experience that you want to have or whatever. You know what I mean?

58:48🔗 Adam That's what I'm going to do. I'm still kind of weighing the evidence. How about the girls? Oh yeah. The jury's still out. I'm getting close.

58:58🔗 Caller I've never been with a woman.

59:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga What was with her?

59:01🔗 Adam There's something going on. Juliet, you ever been with a girl?

59:05🔗 Drew Yeah. How's that?

59:07🔗 Juliet Cariaga Is that good?

59:10🔗 Adam I hear they're like gushy.

59:14🔗 Juliet Cariaga Is it true?

59:15🔗 Drew What do you mean by that?

59:16🔗 Adam Yeah, they're like kind of warm and gushy.

59:18🔗 Drew They're beautiful. I mean, I just love women. They're just beautiful. I mean, you can't really compare them to men either way. You know, women and men are completely different.

59:27🔗 Adam Men are all hairy.

59:28🔗 Drew I mean, I love men too, you know, but I also love women.

59:32🔗 Adam Are you bisexual?

59:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:34🔗 Adam Oh, you are? I know we're getting someone. Jeez, I should be...

59:38🔗 Caller No, no problems in the back seat.

59:40🔗 Juliet Cariaga I should be fine.

59:41🔗 Adam It took me an hour and 20 minutes to get to that. For what's wrong with me?

59:45🔗 Juliet Cariaga You're fine.

59:45🔗 Adam That's what I'm going to bring up at therapy tomorrow. This bisexual penthouse pair was in there, guys. It took me an hour and 20 minutes to get to it. I normally get to that in the first five minutes.

59:56🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'm losing it. I'm depressed.

59:57🔗 Adam I'm losing my edge. Do you have a girlfriend and a boyfriend?

1:00:02🔗 Drew No.

1:00:02🔗 Juliet Cariaga No?

1:00:03🔗 Drew No. I'm looking.

1:00:05🔗 Caller What are you looking for?

1:00:06🔗 Drew Anybody. I mean, I'm not picky, but...

1:00:10🔗 Adam Put your hands down.

1:00:10🔗 Juliet Cariaga A bunch of guys are pretty sad.

1:00:11🔗 Adam He is not sad.

1:00:12🔗 Drew I'm picky, but that's probably why I'm single right now. But I'm not looking for a specific... Gender. Anybody that treats me good and that I get along with, I think...

1:00:21🔗 Adam But now, can you have a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time?

1:00:25🔗 Drew People... It depends on the person. And personally, I wouldn't want to. I want to be monogamous with one person. But some people find it okay to be with both genders. But I think that adds a lot of complications in relationships.

1:00:37🔗 Adam What about a little hypothetically, like if we were dating and we wanted to enlist one of your penthouse friends, and have a little mutual gratification thing, you know? I mean, you get your girl, I get the girl too.

1:00:54🔗 Drew No, I think it's...

1:00:54🔗 Adam I get the watch.

1:00:55🔗 Drew No, it's more of a fantasy thing with a lot of people, and it's not really the experience, because I've experienced threesome and it's not really the experience itself. It's more of a fantasy. And I personally, like if I care about somebody, then I don't want to share them, you know?

1:01:11🔗 Adam When was your last threesome?

1:01:14🔗 Drew It's been a while.

1:01:15🔗 Caller It's been a long time.

1:01:17🔗 Drew Well, except for my video, actually. I did a threesome with two girls.

1:01:22🔗 Juliet Cariaga Oh, in the penthouse video?

1:01:23🔗 Drew In the Pet, Pet of Year Winner video. Yeah, it's out right now.

1:01:27🔗 Juliet Cariaga Is it in your car?

1:01:28🔗 Drew Actually, I think I might have a copy in my car.

1:01:30🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah.

1:01:31🔗 Adam I don't need the keys. I'll go in there with a crowbar and get that thing.

1:01:34🔗 Drew We'll send you a copy.

1:01:36🔗 Adam Send nothing.

1:01:37🔗 Caller I need it tonight.

1:01:39🔗 Adam You don't understand.

1:01:40🔗 Drew It is a great tape.

1:01:42🔗 Caller I know you got one in your car.

1:01:43🔗 Drew I was in it and it even turned me on.

1:01:45🔗 Caller Really?

1:01:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:01:48🔗 Juliet Cariaga You got it in your car, though, right?

1:01:50🔗 Drew I think so. I would have to check, but.

1:01:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, we'll check. Oh, look. We'll do that right now.

1:01:54🔗 Adam I'm going with you. You understand?

1:01:56🔗 Juliet Cariaga It's dangerous out there.

1:01:58🔗 Adam I don't want anything to happen to my. I mean, to you. All right. You ready? We're going out to the car.

1:02:04🔗 Drew OK.

1:02:04🔗 Adam I'll get that video. I'll break it open at a stoplight on the way home.

1:02:07🔗 Juliet Cariaga Hold up to the hold up to the light. All right. Let's go out.

1:02:12🔗 Adam I'm going out to Juliet's car. I'm going out to the penthouse mobile. We got the 89 Kia wagon out there.

1:02:20🔗 Juliet Cariaga And we're going to get ourselves a video.

1:02:22🔗 Adam And we'll be back after this.

1:03:04🔗 Caller All right, it's the Loveline.

1:03:05🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'm Adam. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

1:03:09🔗 Adam Our guest tonight is Juliet Cariaga. She's the Penthouse Millennium Pet of the Year. I just went out to her car with her.

1:03:18🔗 Juliet Cariaga She, her car is like a Goodwill box with wheels on it.

1:03:22🔗 Drew I'm getting a new one.

1:03:24🔗 Juliet Cariaga You're allowed to clean the old one out once in a while.

1:03:26🔗 Drew Well, I'm busy, okay? I live out of my car.

1:03:29🔗 Adam Clothes, there's like a TV dinners and there's a raccoon. There's a family of raccoon that had nested in a glove box.

1:03:37🔗 Drew That's enough.

1:03:38🔗 Juliet Cariaga It was a mess out there. Did you get your DVD? No, I didn't get my DVD.

1:03:42🔗 Drew I think my car swallowed it.

1:03:44🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm convinced we got to keep searching. I'm ready to pull the seats out.

1:03:49🔗 Drew I think like the border for Troy. You can get me a new car after you run this.

1:03:52🔗 Juliet Cariaga Asshole. Yeah, you really only had a few minutes to look.

1:03:57🔗 You don't want to look a little more.

1:03:59🔗 Adam Sometimes those DVDs, they slide under the seat.

1:04:01🔗 Drew I did look under the seats, but I don't mind looking again.

1:04:03🔗 Juliet Cariaga Where else could it be?

1:04:05🔗 Adam It's not that big a car.

1:04:06🔗 Drew I might have given it to a friend.

1:04:09🔗 Adam All right, well, tell me what goes on in this video.

1:04:11🔗 Drew Well, we have singles.

1:04:14🔗 Adam Is this your Head of the Year video?

1:04:16🔗 Drew Yeah, it's me and two other girls. And we all have our little vignettes by ourselves. And then we have me and one of the other girls do a little scene. And then those two do a scene. And then we all three do a scene at the end.

1:04:30🔗 Adam Now, how much stuff actually goes on in those scenes?

1:04:35🔗 Caller You got to watch the tape.

1:04:36🔗 Adam No, I don't.

1:04:37🔗 Juliet Cariaga I can't watch the tape.

1:04:38🔗 Drew I'll send it to you.

1:04:39🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, no, no, no.

1:04:40🔗 Juliet Cariaga He needs some material for tonight.

1:04:42🔗 Drew I gave you a Penthouse magazine, at least.

1:04:45🔗 Adam You're not in this.

1:04:46🔗 Drew Well, yeah, but the running around finish is beautiful.

1:04:50🔗 Adam Okay, but listen, you're missing the whole point here.

1:04:54🔗 Juliet Cariaga I have a vault chock full of pornography at home, but what I want is some fresh blood.

1:05:00🔗 Adam Do you understand? Not fresh, strange blood, fresh, familiar blood. That's your blood. Now, take that blood home with me tonight. Are you saying...

1:05:09🔗 Drew Well, if you want to come home with me, I have some tapes at my house.

1:05:11🔗 Adam All right, now we're talking.

1:05:14🔗 Juliet Cariaga He has been known to do this.

1:05:15🔗 Drew You can wait outside.

1:05:17🔗 Juliet Cariaga Where did you go, North Hollywood or something to meet that guy?

1:05:20🔗 Adam I drove out to West Hill.

1:05:21🔗 Drew Well, this is farther, actually.

1:05:23🔗 Caller This is the beach.

1:05:24🔗 Juliet Cariaga You're in the beach area?

1:05:26🔗 Adam What time is it? If you hustle, you can be back here by 12.15. That's as long as I can wait. Really?

1:05:33🔗 Juliet Cariaga There's no runner we can send or anything?

1:05:36🔗 Adam What kind of promotion does Penthouse have?

1:05:38🔗 Juliet Cariaga Where they send a pet? Where's the videos? Where's the DVDs?

1:05:42🔗 Caller Where's the T-shirts?

1:05:44🔗 Juliet Cariaga What is this? This is an outrage.

1:05:46🔗 Adam An outrage.

1:05:46🔗 Juliet Cariaga Do you hear me? All right.

1:05:49🔗 Adam You saying you're going to send me a tape is like, it's tantamount to me telling a junkie, I'll send you some heroin in a couple of weeks. You get your fix.

1:06:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga Just go home, relax. Just relax.

1:06:03🔗 Adam Watch your little TV.

1:06:04🔗 Drew Well, you said you have a volt of videos in your thing. You can prolong it, can't you?

1:06:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga Now, now, now I don't want to see any of them.

1:06:11🔗 Adam I want to see you.

1:06:12🔗 Caller Unacceptable.

1:06:14🔗 Adam So all I have is my mind now. You understand? That's not a lot to work with.

1:06:19🔗 Drew You should have done your research anyway. You should have looked up the magazine and all that stuff, and you could have seen me and not worried about it. Yeah.

1:06:25🔗 Juliet Cariaga Let me explain something.

1:06:27🔗 Adam The two hours I put into this show is already too much. Just being on the air for two hours is too much work for me. Trying to shave that down. All right. Just explain very quickly what you're doing with these three girls. How sexual is it getting?

1:06:42🔗 Drew We get pretty... We don't have any like toys or anything like that, but we do pretty much do everything.

1:06:48🔗 Adam Tongues touching places and stuff? And are these girls bisexual as well?

1:06:55🔗 Drew One of them is.

1:06:55🔗 Adam And what about the other one?

1:06:56🔗 Juliet Cariaga Isn't it a little weird?

1:06:57🔗 Drew Well, they're both married, actually. Yeah. I don't know if I was supposed to say that, but yeah, they're both married.

1:07:03🔗 Juliet Cariaga Let me add a little spark to it for me. I could get a little extra jolt out of that in my own perverse world.

1:07:10🔗 Adam And what about the one who's not bi? Isn't that a little weirded out with the face and the frown? No, you know what?

1:07:15🔗 Drew She's the most... She's actually the coolest, most open-minded heterosexual girl that I've ever met.

1:07:22🔗 Adam Wow. Wow. All right.

1:07:24🔗 Caller She's like, yeah, cool.

1:07:25🔗 Adam So you guys have faces are buried places and stuff's going on, and wow.

1:07:30🔗 Drew Oh, my God. You should see these girls too. They're so hot.

1:07:33🔗 Adam All right. Okay. But let me just ask you real quick. What about the threesome you have? Is that two girls and a guy?

1:07:39🔗 Drew No. In the video?

1:07:40🔗 Adam No.

1:07:41🔗 Caller In your personal life.

1:07:42🔗 Adam Two girls and a guy? Son of a bitch.

1:07:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:07:47🔗 Adam This guy's a celebrity or something?

1:07:49🔗 Drew No. Please.

1:07:50🔗 Adam Oh. It makes it worse when he's not a celebrity.

1:07:54🔗 Drew Actually, I've been in a few.

1:07:57🔗 Adam But always two girls and the guy? And both the girls that perform on the guy as well?

1:08:07🔗 Drew I think it was more of me and this other girl wanting to be together.

1:08:11🔗 Adam Right. But still a little something for the guy, right?

1:08:14🔗 Drew A little, little, little, little something, something.

1:08:16🔗 Adam No, that's a lot.

1:08:17🔗 Drew But a lot of guys, you have to know, all these fantasies you have in your head of threesomes, most of the times, when they actually come true, the women are with each other. You don't get anything most of the time.

1:08:26🔗 Adam No, you get something.

1:08:28🔗 Drew A little bit, maybe if you're lucky. If you're lucky.

1:08:31🔗 Juliet Cariaga Just being in the room is something.

1:08:33🔗 Drew Exactly.

1:08:34🔗 Adam You don't understand, guys go to ballgames, they don't have to get out on the field.

1:08:38🔗 Caller They'll sit there and eat.

1:08:40🔗 Well, yeah, well, that's all you're going to get, though.

1:08:41🔗 Drew That's all you're going to get. Exactly. A lot of guys think that, you know, it's two girls on a guy, but it's, in fact, two girls together while you're watching.

1:08:50🔗 Adam Yeah, but he could muscle his way in there and get something, right? You gave him a little, right?

1:08:55🔗 Juliet Cariaga A little oral sex?

1:08:56🔗 Adam Yes, please. Come on.

1:08:59🔗 Drew I'm not saying we completely...

1:09:00🔗 Adam Yeah, so that's enough.

1:09:02🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's enough.

1:09:03🔗 Adam Believe me. John? John?

1:09:06🔗 Caller Hello?

1:09:06🔗 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:09:08🔗 Caller Yeah, I heard that if you get your tongue pierced and you get like a disease or something, that it can go straight to your brain and you can, like, die.

1:09:19🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's true.

1:09:20🔗 Caller That's true.

1:09:21🔗 Juliet Cariaga Don't do it.

1:09:23🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, even... I mean, look, the proximity to your brain, you understand there's not much distance for an infection to travel, right?

1:09:29🔗 Adam I can touch my brain with my tongue.

1:09:31🔗 Juliet Cariaga No doubt.

1:09:32🔗 Adam Absolutely.

1:09:32🔗 Juliet Cariaga Is it through your nostril here or...?

1:09:34🔗 Adam Just go right up to the palate.

1:09:35🔗 Juliet Cariaga Okay.

1:09:36🔗 Juliet Cariaga And I'm surprised there aren't more infections that are serious, but probably before it's spread to your brain, you'd close off your airway anyway, so you wouldn't be breathing.

1:09:45🔗 Juliet Cariaga There you go.

1:09:46🔗 Adam Everyone who gets tongue piercings dies. Shawn, you're 20 years old.

1:09:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga What's up?

1:09:52🔗 Caller Yeah. About five years ago, I used to smoke a lot of weed. And then about a year ago, I was at my friend's house and I just smoked a bunch and I was laying on his couch. And all of a sudden, my heart started being really fast and my legs started shaking and I started getting freaked out.

1:10:12🔗 Juliet Cariaga And I probably showed up at the pizza or something.

1:10:15🔗 Juliet Cariaga So you have panic attacks since then? Have they recurred?

1:10:17🔗 Caller No, they never have before.

1:10:19🔗 Juliet Cariaga But have they recurred since that episode?

1:10:22🔗 Caller Well, I tried to smoke weed after that, but every time it felt like I was going to have one. So I just gave it up.

1:10:28🔗 Juliet Cariaga Do you have them at all when you're not smoking pot?

1:10:31🔗 Caller No, sometimes I'll get really a lot of anxiety, but I won't actually have one, but I can I can like fight them off.

1:10:38🔗 Juliet Cariaga Not a full blown attack. Yeah, but this may be you doing any other drugs?

1:10:42🔗 Caller No, I used to do a lot of other kinds, though.

1:10:44🔗 Juliet Cariaga What?

1:10:45🔗 Caller I used to do a lot of LSD.

1:10:47🔗 Juliet Cariaga Okay, well, this is probably more related to that than the pot, though pot can trigger panic attacks. LSD, if you do a lot of it, will always cause severe mood problems.

1:10:58🔗 Caller Yeah, and I also have one other thing. Ever since then, which is about a year ago, I've been going to the doctor because I would feel physical symptoms like illnesses and stuff.

1:11:10🔗 Juliet Cariaga You've got to talk to a psychiatrist who's dealt with substance abuse. This is a common thing, Sean, and it has to be treated. It's going to be something you're going to be dealing with the rest of your life.

1:11:19🔗 Caller Yeah, and I get all these tests from the doctors and they'll come up negative.

1:11:23🔗 Juliet Cariaga Because you don't have a medical problem. You've had a brain injury and it needs to be dealt with by a psychiatrist.

1:11:28🔗 Caller Yeah, they're telling me I'm like somatic or something like that.

1:11:30🔗 Juliet Cariaga Sean, are you not hearing me?

1:11:32🔗 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:11:33🔗 Juliet Cariaga Okay, you've got to see a psychiatrist. This is a problem. These mood disturbances and panic attacks are things you're going to be dealing with for a long, long time.

1:11:40🔗 Adam All right, I was just looking at Penthouse.

1:11:42🔗 Juliet Cariaga She's peeing on the guy.

1:11:44🔗 Drew Not me, not me.

1:11:45🔗 Adam Sure, right as rain. There's the urine all over the guy.

1:11:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga She's peeing on the guy. Look at that, Drew.

1:11:54🔗 Drew They've had some pretty wild things in Penthouse.

1:11:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga Am I supposed to whack off to this?

1:12:00🔗 Drew Some people do, you know, there's something for everybody.

1:12:04🔗 Juliet Cariaga There is something for everybody.

1:12:06🔗 Juliet Cariaga Some.

1:12:07🔗 Drew Well, he has to, you know, he has to please everybody.

1:12:09🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, he doesn't. He should please the majority.

1:12:12🔗 Drew You don't have to look at those pictures. You can look at the other ones, the other scenes with the Girl Girls and all that stuff. They have plenty of everything in that magazine.

1:12:19🔗 Adam Listen, I wash my hands with that smut, I tell you.

1:12:25🔗 Caller I'm a good Catholic.

1:12:27🔗 Adam Marissa, you're 18 years old.

1:12:30🔗 Caller Yeah, me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 years. And we've been having sex for about 2 years. And when I masturbate, I can tell when I orgasm, but when I have sex with him, I can't tell. But I'm pretty sure I'm having one.

1:12:43🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, don't worry. You're having one already.

1:12:45🔗 Drew No, if you can't tell, if you can't tell, you're not having one. Guaranteed, you would know.

1:12:53🔗 Caller But like he can tell, like he, like he...

1:12:55🔗 Drew No, no, guys can't tell. You know how many times I fake that stuff, honey? They cannot tell. They cannot tell no matter how much experience.

1:13:05🔗 Adam Do you do a lot of faking?

1:13:07🔗 Drew I have, I have, yes.

1:13:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga God bless you.

1:13:09🔗 Adam That's fine with me.

1:13:11🔗 Caller Listen, I am fine with that.

1:13:12🔗 Drew You know, if it gets boring, I kind of say, yeah, blah, blah, blah, you know, get it over with.

1:13:15🔗 Juliet Cariaga I have zero problem with that.

1:13:18🔗 Adam I really, listen, if people told me I was handsome when I was really ugly, I'd be fine with that. If people told me I was smart when I was dumb, I'd be happy with that. And they told me I was funny when I wasn't. I'd be happy with that, too.

1:13:30🔗 Juliet Cariaga They told you were dumb when you were smart. Yeah, you weren't OK with that.

1:13:34🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, I wasn't OK with that.

1:13:36🔗 Adam But if they want to go the other way with it, I'm fine.

1:13:39🔗 Juliet Cariaga I see, I see.

1:13:39🔗 Adam If you want, you could fake orgasms with me all the time.

1:13:42🔗 Drew Yeah, if it makes you happy and you don't find out that it's fake, then it shouldn't hurt you.

1:13:47🔗 Adam Even if you tell me.

1:13:48🔗 Juliet Cariaga If you're like, oh my god, oh my god, I'm faking.

1:13:50🔗 Caller Oh my god, I'm going to fake.

1:13:52🔗 Juliet Cariaga Oh, I'm faking now, right now. I'm faking.

1:13:54🔗 Caller This is false.

1:13:56🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'd still be like, yeah.

1:13:57🔗 Drew Have you been spying on me?

1:13:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah.

1:13:59🔗 Drew That sounded so familiar.

1:14:00🔗 Caller That was you, huh?

1:14:02🔗 Adam I could bring you to fake orgasm in like 20 minutes.

1:14:05🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:14:06🔗 Caller You hear that, girl?

1:14:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'd probably get you to fake in maybe 15. I'd fake some oral sex on you.

1:14:14🔗 You'd fake the orgasm?

1:14:15🔗 Juliet Cariaga We watched the movie.

1:14:16🔗 Drew How do you fake oral sex?

1:14:17🔗 Juliet Cariaga I can do it.

1:14:18🔗 Oh, yeah.

1:14:19🔗 Drew You're like, yeah, I'm kissing you down there. I am.

1:14:21🔗 Caller You're loving it.

1:14:24🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah, we'll make a good couple.

1:14:25🔗 Adam You get some of your penthouse friends involved. I could fake it on them, too.

1:14:30🔗 Juliet Cariaga They'd fake with me.

1:14:31🔗 Adam We'll have a big fakey threesome. But you know what? And when you fake, too, we could have a threesome.

1:14:37🔗 Juliet Cariaga We could all orgasm simultaneously.

1:14:40🔗 Juliet Cariaga You're too lazy for that, aren't you?

1:14:42🔗 Adam No, I could jump in.

1:14:43🔗 Drew I know, but that's not like a lot of work for you.

1:14:45🔗 Adam If I heard the girls, I'd be like, you guys getting close to faking? Yeah, I'm pretty close.

1:14:50🔗 Caller All right.

1:14:50🔗 Adam Well, when you start faking.

1:14:51🔗 Drew That would be like one minute.

1:14:52🔗 Juliet Cariaga I'll just jump in.

1:14:53🔗 Caller All right.

1:14:54🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, I'll start faking now. All right, go ahead. Then she'll start faking. Here, watch. Let's do it, Julie.

1:14:58🔗 Caller Go ahead. Do a little fake for me.

1:15:02🔗 Caller Oh, God.

1:15:13🔗 Juliet Cariaga Oh, my God. I love you. Oh, my God.

1:15:15🔗 Caller I love you. I love you.

1:15:17🔗 Adam Where's your friends?

1:15:18🔗 Juliet Cariaga I love you. Make me something to eat.

1:15:20🔗 Caller I love you.

1:15:21🔗 Adam Go to the lecture room and give me some beer.

1:15:22🔗 Juliet Cariaga I love you.

1:15:24🔗 Juliet Cariaga I love you.

1:15:24🔗 Caller Where's your remote? I love you.

1:15:27🔗 Juliet Cariaga I love you.

1:15:27🔗 Juliet Cariaga Do some laundry.

1:15:31🔗 Adam Get in the wet spot.

1:15:32🔗 Caller I love you.

1:15:32🔗 Drew All right, next.

1:15:34🔗 Caller Unacceptable.

1:15:35🔗 Caller Unacceptable.

1:15:36🔗 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. We have Juliet here, who's a penthouse pedd-

1:15:41🔗 Juliet Cariaga of the millennium.

1:15:43🔗 Adam I say of the next millennium, too.

1:15:45🔗 Juliet Cariaga Did you hear that simultaneous orgasm faking? It was a first for you.

1:15:49🔗 Caller Work of art.

1:15:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga All right, we'll be back after this. Yeah, it is Love Line. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew.

1:16:30🔗 Adam Juliet Cariaga is our guest tonight. She's the penthouse millennium pet of the year.

1:16:36🔗 Juliet Cariaga Starting to warm up.

1:16:38🔗 Drew Yeah, you okay? You went in the bathroom for a long time.

1:16:41🔗 Adam That wasn't long for me, believe me. Known to spend hours in there. I was going to say, at the top of the show, I think it was a little bit of a coin toss between who Juliet was more attracted to, me or my partner Drew, but I think you're coming over to the dark side, aren't you?

1:16:56🔗 Juliet Cariaga Just don't mention.

1:16:57🔗 Drew Coming over.

1:16:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah.

1:16:59🔗 Juliet Cariaga Just don't mention your talcum habits.

1:17:01🔗 Juliet Cariaga I dump a little talc down the shorts.

1:17:03🔗 Juliet Cariaga What is that?

1:17:04🔗 Adam A little talcum powder, keeps me fresh down there for the ladies.

1:17:07🔗 Drew That's not like itching powder or anything?

1:17:09🔗 Adam No. No, no rashes, no diseases.

1:17:11🔗 Juliet Cariaga I like to stay fresh.

1:17:13🔗 Drew Sounds good.

1:17:14🔗 Adam For the ladies. You get past the dust cloud, you find the penis, everything's good.

1:17:19🔗 Drew Yeah, odor is one of my pet peeves, so that's a definite we go for.

1:17:22🔗 Juliet Cariaga Don't have that.

1:17:23🔗 Adam No, I don't shower for weeks.

1:17:24🔗 Juliet Cariaga I don't have odor.

1:17:25🔗 Caller Right, Drew?

1:17:27🔗 Adam That's right.

1:17:27🔗 Juliet Cariaga I haven't got close enough to you to find out.

1:17:29🔗 Adam Let me explain something about the fake orgasm I was thinking about when I was in the bathroom, touching myself. Really more in a guiding fashion, though, than a pleasuring way. If you're gonna fake, as a woman, here's my tip to you. Every fourth or fifth episode, do one of those, I got close, but I just couldn't have one.

1:17:53🔗 Juliet Cariaga Exactly.

1:17:54🔗 Adam Right?

1:17:54🔗 Drew And you have to, what is it called?

1:17:58🔗 Adam Constrict the muscles.

1:17:59🔗 Drew Yeah, constrict the muscles, exactly. That kind of helps out. That's how men think that, oh yeah, you did, baby, you did. And, you know, sorry.

1:18:07🔗 Adam But if you say to the guy, oh man, I got close, but I don't know, I must be distracted or I must be tired or I had a tough day at work or something.

1:18:16🔗 Juliet Cariaga It depends on how good you're acting it.

1:18:17🔗 Adam Then you fake it the next one, he'll buy it, hook, line and sinker.

1:18:21🔗 Juliet Cariaga All right, right about that. Jason?

1:18:24🔗 Yeah.

1:18:25🔗 Adam You're 29 years old, what's up?

1:18:28🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm married to my wife and I've been married for about seven years and I have genital warts and I've never cheated on my wife and I don't know how I got them. I've used Compound W and that does not work.

1:18:43🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, Compound W will not work. It won't, goofball. Your wife must have had this without knowing it. Yeah, we gave it to her.

1:18:52🔗 Caller How would she have got that? It was that...

1:18:55🔗 Adam I hate to break the news.

1:18:56🔗 Drew Couldn't you have that for a long time and not even know?

1:18:58🔗 Juliet Cariaga Absolutely.

1:18:59🔗 Drew Women, I think, you wouldn't even be able to tell, right? It would be a lot harder for women to tell.

1:19:03🔗 Adam Probably got it from a gym towel.

1:19:05🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah.

1:19:06🔗 Adam I was banging her.

1:19:07🔗 Juliet Cariaga I was wearing a gym towel.

1:19:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga Jason, there are creams that you can't apply. This is something called Aldera and Miqamad, which is an anti-war cream. They can use interferon. They can burn them off and freeze them off from various things, laser them off.

1:19:20🔗 Adam What about your compound Ws?

1:19:22🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, no.

1:19:23🔗 Adam I know, but why not? I mean, it works on a wart on your hand, right? Doesn't really work there either. It gives you a feeling you're doing something.

1:19:32🔗 Juliet Cariaga How come you can't get stuff that works at the store?

1:19:35🔗 Juliet Cariaga A salicyclic acid tape will remove a wart on your hand.

1:19:38🔗 Juliet Cariaga Really? Yeah.

1:19:39🔗 Adam So a masking tape will just rip it right off?

1:19:41🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, no.

1:19:42🔗 Adam No.

1:19:42🔗 Drew Or a blade, at that matter.

1:19:45🔗 Adam Julie, ever have a threesome with two guys, like a doctor and a nappy-haired co-host? No?

1:19:53🔗 Juliet Cariaga Two guys?

1:19:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:55🔗 Drew That's yet to be tried.

1:19:56🔗 Adam Really?

1:19:57🔗 Caller All right.

1:19:59🔗 Adam We'll put that on our list of things to do.

1:20:02🔗 Caller Mack? Huh?

1:20:03🔗 Adam You're 14.

1:20:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:05🔗 Adam Julie, you're really heating up on me now, aren't you?

1:20:07🔗 Drew I know. It is hot in here.

1:20:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga What's up, Mack?

1:20:09🔗 Caller I'm high.

1:20:10🔗 Juliet Cariaga See, I know I'd winter over. All right, Adam.

1:20:13🔗 Juliet Cariaga Let's get to the callers. Yeah, Mack?

1:20:15🔗 Caller When I was younger, I took too much acid, and now I'm permanently on it. I permanently see visuals.

1:20:21🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah. Is it just the trailers you're seeing, or do you just...

1:20:25🔗 Caller No, it's actually a little more intense than that.

1:20:27🔗 Juliet Cariaga So you feel like you're sort of in a dream state all the time.

1:20:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:30🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yeah. That's called the post-hallucinogenic perceptual disorder.

1:20:34🔗 Adam How much acid did you do?

1:20:37🔗 Caller Like five tabs, but I also mixed alcohol with it.

1:20:41🔗 Adam Why do you do five tabs?

1:20:43🔗 Caller I was stupid, and I was stupid.

1:20:44🔗 Adam Why?

1:20:44🔗 Juliet Cariaga I know you're stupid, but what I mean is this...

1:20:46🔗 Adam It's self-destructive.

1:20:47🔗 Juliet Cariaga Still, I mean, a tab will get you off, won't it?

1:20:51🔗 Caller I know, but...

1:20:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga How long ago was this?

1:20:52🔗 Caller I don't know, I was just really immature and like on crack kind of a self-destructive.

1:20:57🔗 Adam Now that you're ripe old 14, you can look back on your childish ways.

1:21:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga How long ago was this?

1:21:01🔗 Caller This was about a year ago, and I'm still like, I'm still like, messed up off it.

1:21:07🔗 Juliet Cariaga Are you getting panicky or depressed?

1:21:09🔗 Caller No, no, it just, I don't know. I was just like wondering, like, what is it? Why, why, why am I still like, like messed up off it?

1:21:18🔗 Juliet Cariaga LSD is a brain toxin. It will damage brain.

1:21:22🔗 Caller I know. But you think this will be a permanent thing for the rest of my life or?

1:21:26🔗 Juliet Cariaga No, I think what you're experiencing now will kind of fade and it will turn into depression and panic attacks. And that's usually the way this thing evolved.

1:21:34🔗 Adam Oh, well, there's also something to a 13 year old that takes five tabs of acid, washes it down with some booze.

1:21:40🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yes, but this kind of exposure before the age of 15 is associated with profound mood disturbance.

1:21:44🔗 Drew How do you stop doing that? How do you get off of that? Because I had a friend that was in high school that the same thing happened to him and he ended up committing suicide.

1:21:53🔗 Juliet Cariaga Again, it's the depression and the panic that sets in later that's really the problem. Mike, you?

1:22:00🔗 Caller My girlfriend gets stressed out a lot and she gets bulimic and I try to bring it up to her and she told me it happened in the past. And I was just wondering what's this about and what's going on.

1:22:10🔗 Juliet Cariaga She has an eating disorder.

1:22:12🔗 Caller Yeah, but it's not all the time. It's like...

1:22:13🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, it's probably more than she lets you know.

1:22:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:17🔗 Juliet Cariaga And the eating disorder will get worse at times of stress.

1:22:20🔗 Juliet Cariaga How do you find out about it, Mike?

1:22:23🔗 Caller She tells me about it, but then she doesn't want to talk about it after the fact.

1:22:26🔗 Drew Yeah, it probably never stops, but you just stop hearing about it at a certain time.

1:22:31🔗 Adam Well, it's possible it goes on and off, but any way you slice it, she does it more than you know.

1:22:36🔗 Caller Well, what should I do about it? That's what I'm really asking.

1:22:38🔗 Juliet Cariaga Well, get her to treatment.

1:22:40🔗 Caller What type of treatment?

1:22:42🔗 Juliet Cariaga See a psychiatrist or an eating disorder specialist if you have one around.

1:22:45🔗 Drew They have overeaters anonymous or something.

1:22:47🔗 Juliet Cariaga OA is a place to go, but eating disorders are so dangerous, it is important that a doctor follows them. But OA, sure, and there are some OA meetings that are specifically for people with bulimia, but you can't change her and you can't make her get better.

1:23:01🔗 Adam It's like addiction. Only I can do that.

1:23:03🔗 Juliet Cariaga It's like addiction. You may have to leave to get her attention that maybe all she hears is the loss.

1:23:08🔗 Juliet Cariaga All right. Hold on a second.

1:23:12🔗 Adam Marty.

1:23:13🔗 Caller Hi.

1:23:14🔗 Adam Marty, you're 14.

1:23:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:16🔗 Juliet Cariaga What's up?

1:23:16🔗 Caller Okay. Hi. Sometimes when I hear a certain song on the radio, like Erotic City or something like that, kind of like sexually related, I have to change my pants. I really get turned on.

1:23:31🔗 Adam Same with me in the Taboo II theme song.

1:23:34🔗 Caller Yeah, I've heard that.

1:23:34🔗 Caller Yeah, that really gets me going.

1:23:37🔗 Caller Oh, down here.

1:23:39🔗 Caller Yeah, it was nice.

1:23:39🔗 Adam Let's hear just a little more of that. Come on. Don't tease me that way, Anderson.

1:23:43🔗 Caller Come on.

1:23:46🔗 Juliet Cariaga Yes, he does.

1:23:48🔗 Adam Very hot song.

1:23:51🔗 Juliet Cariaga He knows how to please in every detail.

1:23:56🔗 Adam Let's keep it going, Anderson. It's been a while.

1:23:59🔗 Juliet Cariaga He can do more than you ever imagine and do it with style. He does it with me. Oh, yes, he does.

1:24:10🔗 Adam I'm going to sing this to you tonight.

1:24:12🔗 Drew I know you're turning me on. Have you thought about being a singer?

1:24:18🔗 Juliet Cariaga Oh, yes. I've thought about being many things, an astronaut, a pirate. Yikes. All things I got to check out the list.

1:24:28🔗 Juliet Cariaga Things you act out regularly. Singer, pirate, astronaut.

1:24:32🔗 Caller That's right.

1:24:33🔗 Drew He's been fun.

1:24:34🔗 Caller I'm a good time.

1:24:35🔗 Adam We can go to my house.

1:24:36🔗 Juliet Cariaga You can watch me watch TV.

1:24:38🔗 Adam It'll be great.

1:24:38🔗 Drew I don't think you're keen enough for me though.

1:24:40🔗 Adam No, don't worry.

1:24:41🔗 Caller Don't worry.

1:24:42🔗 Adam When I unleash myself, I'm like an animal, right?

1:24:45🔗 Juliet Cariaga Remember that last time? You're nuts if you have that.

1:24:52🔗 Caller Don't worry.

1:24:52🔗 Adam I can crank it up for at least a half hour. I did some gay porn in the late 70s.

1:24:57🔗 Juliet Cariaga Oh, man.

1:24:58🔗 Adam I should have never done that show drunk.

1:25:00🔗 Juliet Cariaga Anderson's getting a whole catalog of stuff here.

1:25:03🔗 Juliet Cariaga All right. So Marty, you get turned on when certain songs are on the radio.

1:25:07🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's fine, Marty. Don't worry.

1:25:08🔗 Adam You're fine. Okay. I don't worry about it. But do you really have to change your pants?

1:25:13🔗 Caller Well, no. The terminology, I guess.

1:25:15🔗 Adam I understand. Yeah. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break and we'll be right back after this.

1:25:22🔗 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:25:25🔗 Caller Back in a minute.

1:25:26🔗 Caller Well, it's worth hearing.

1:25:40🔗 Caller Loveline, 92.1, ksma.com, Worldwide. Loveline, 92.1, KSMA. ksma.com, 92.1, KSMA.

1:26:10🔗 Caller All right.

1:26:10🔗 Adam Well, there it is. Another successful show In the Bag.

1:26:15🔗 Caller I want to thank Juliet Cariaga for coming in here.

1:26:18🔗 Adam Penthouse, Pet of the Year. Very lovely.

1:26:21🔗 Caller Very candid.

1:26:23🔗 Juliet Cariaga That's what I enjoy, her candor.

1:26:25🔗 Adam All right. So, Juliet, thanks again.

1:26:27🔗 Drew Thank you for having me.

1:26:29🔗 Adam You come back next year when you're Pet of the Year again.

1:26:31🔗 Drew Okay.

1:26:32🔗 Caller Does it work that way?

1:26:34🔗 Drew Maybe. Maybe they'll start doing it next year with me.

1:26:36🔗 Caller No.

1:26:36🔗 Drew They'll love me so much.

1:26:37🔗 Caller No, they can't do that.

1:26:38🔗 Adam But, you know, when you get your website going or something, you come back and give that a plug.

1:26:41🔗 Drew Okay.

1:26:42🔗 Caller All right.

1:26:42🔗 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:26:48🔗 Caller Oh, God.

1:27:02🔗 Caller Well, now, this is Ben Loveline.

1:27:04🔗 Caller The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, management, sponsors, or anyone else, including Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold. Now, please enjoy these birds.

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