Monday, December 27, 1999

1:46🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:49🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:54🔗 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew. I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:59🔗 Voiceover Loveline.

2:02🔗 Drew It is Loveline. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. I'm Dr. Drew, that's Adam Corolla. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician. Come on, an addiction medicine specialist. All right. Eight seconds into the show, he's effing around. I knew I couldn't even get through the beginning of the show without him screwing around.

2:20🔗 Adam I'm showing her how to use the cough button. Watch, if you want to cough, you press the button, you go, it didn't work.

2:26🔗 Drew Andy Dick is our guest tonight.

2:29🔗 Adam It didn't work.

2:30🔗 Drew Lisa Donance, am I right?

2:33🔗 Adam Don't ask.

2:35🔗 Drew Is in here with Andy. I'm not sure exactly.

2:38🔗 Guest Andy, not try coughing, try.

2:41🔗 Drew Oh, I was pressing the wrong one. Lisa, what do you do?

2:45🔗 I'm a model.

2:46🔗 Drew And how do you know Andy?

2:48🔗 I met him when I was interning on news radio.

2:51🔗 Guest Oh, perfect.

2:53🔗 Adam We're going out, if that's what you're trying to get at.

2:55🔗 Drew Drew, do we have interns on Loveline?

2:58🔗 You wish.

2:58🔗 Guest Is that something you want to ask for now?

3:00🔗 Drew Is it only gay men that we get to intern on that show? Is that how it works? Because everyone on that show is gay but me and Drew, so there's always a bunch of hunky guys strutting up and down the hall. Because they all love you. I know how these guys work.

3:15🔗 Guest They won't hire beautiful women. Do we have a TV show?

3:17🔗 Drew I don't know. All right. So at least are you Andy's girlfriend? Yeah. Oh, boy. Get the DSM-4 out so we can catch Lisa up on Andy's condition.

3:27🔗 Guest Lisa sat through... Andy did a webcast on drdrew.com. And Lisa sat there on the couch and manned the chat room.

3:36🔗 Drew I see. Lisa, very, very beautiful, by the way. I know this is radio, so I should explain this. How's the modeling going?

3:43🔗 It's going okay.

3:45🔗 I've been doing it not very long.

3:47🔗 Drew There's no way you'd get someone like Lisa if you were driving a truck. I mean, you know that, right?

3:52🔗 Adam I know.

3:52🔗 Drew I know.

3:53🔗 Adam I know that.

3:53🔗 Drew But that's fine.

3:54🔗 Adam I'm waiting for her to leave me.

3:56🔗 Drew No, she'll never do that.

3:58🔗 Guest You don't know.

3:59🔗 Drew I guess I don't.

4:00🔗 Guest Andy was complaining at the Webco. My highlights of these webcasts are those Andy complaining that the Saturday Night Live had pigeonholed him.

4:08🔗 Drew And called him what?

4:10🔗 Guest I called you a coked up fag.

4:18🔗 Drew Coked up fag.

4:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

4:19🔗 Drew And Drew, you bagged a different, right?

4:22🔗 Guest Yeah.

4:22🔗 Guest I'm not a coked up fag.

4:24🔗 Drew He's a bisexual opiate addiction.

4:26🔗 Guest Yes.

4:27🔗 Drew Right?

4:27🔗 Adam Pothead.

4:28🔗 Drew Pothead.

4:29🔗 Guest Yeah.

4:29🔗 Drew Lease, the temerity of those people on Saturday Night Live.

4:32🔗 Adam Get it right, peoples.

4:34🔗 Drew Andy has brought his band, The Bitches of the Century, here tonight.

4:38🔗 Adam In fact, you know, there's a guy, can I just tell you that there's a guy on Saturday Night Live who does an impression of me, and that's Chris Catan.

4:44🔗 Drew Right.

4:45🔗 Adam And so I wrote a song for him that I'd like to sing later on.

4:48🔗 Guest Oh, cool.

4:49🔗 Drew Andy has brought the bitches in, like I was saying.

4:51🔗 Guest Yeah.

4:51🔗 Drew And they were in here last time. True. I believe Andy gave one of them a dead leg when he missed a chord. But that's all in the past. And I got to tell you, and don't interrupt me here, Andy, because I'm going to pay a compliment. Go for it. I didn't know what to expect when I heard that Andy had formed a band. Actually, I expected the worst. I really did. And I got to tell you. We love them. They're great. It is not what you'd call traditional music, but it's clever. It's smart. It works. I saw him perform at the Improv for a Bill Maher benefit a couple months back. Of course, we've seen him perform on this show. I think I've seen him perform at a K-Rock event. I'm trying to...

5:35🔗 Adam Acoustic Christmas.

5:36🔗 Drew I'm trying to...

5:38🔗 Adam Acoustic Christmas, a year ago.

5:39🔗 Drew Yes. And I've enjoyed his work and the Bitches of the Century, of course, every time I've seen them. So I don't think I'll be disappointed tonight.

5:47🔗 Adam That's really nice.

5:48🔗 Drew So they'll be in here a little bit later, the band that is, to perform with Andy. Andy is promoting... Well, let's promote what you want to promote tonight, Andy.

5:58🔗 Adam On my website, andydick.com, I have this section for what they're calling V-Greetings, which are these video greeting cards which you can send to a friend for free. They're free. You can click on it and it has me saying, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.

6:18🔗 Drew And what's in it for you if they're free?

6:20🔗 Adam There is one.

6:21🔗 Guest It's Happy Kwanzaa.

6:23🔗 Adam For me, they built my website.

6:25🔗 Drew Uh-huh. Who's they?

6:27🔗 Adam loadtv.com.

6:28🔗 Drew I see. And so you...

6:30🔗 Adam You can also get the V-Greetings at loadtv.com or at vgreetings.com.

6:35🔗 Drew And they're free.

6:36🔗 Adam And they're completely free. It's about 15 to 30 seconds of me in a twisted way saying, you know, like for the Happy New Year, I've got the baby New Year who weighs like 300 pounds on my lap with no shirt on, just wearing a diaper.

6:52🔗 Drew Beautiful.

6:53🔗 Adam And I'm like, wake up, you know, baby New Year is sleepy. And then I give him a little tum-tum massage and he like throws up Spaghettios. And then I'm like, Happy New Year.

7:02🔗 Drew And anything about computers, but if it's free, is the idea to get people to just check out the website? Is that? Where's the money here? I mean, where's the roundabout money?

7:14🔗 Adam I am trying to figure this out. I think it has something to do with a company getting somebody like me to provide content.

7:26🔗 Guest And load is going to capitalize on it.

7:27🔗 Adam Right. And then in the future, load will capitalize when they go public. That's how I think it works. But what I get out of it is, you know, a free website and I get a studio for free. I get to go and it's just...

7:41🔗 Drew And a fat guy on your knee throwing up spaghetti on it.

7:43🔗 Adam I get to jack around. And I like it.

7:45🔗 Drew And speaking of jacking around, I got hold of that Taboo 2 last night.

7:49🔗 Guest Oh, that's right. Yes, yes.

7:50🔗 Drew There's a lot of jacking around going on in my house.

7:53🔗 Guest Oh, my God. No wonder you seem so calm tonight.

7:55🔗 Drew Yeah, I lost my chi. My chi's in the hamper.

8:01🔗 Adam You wiped your chi up?

8:02🔗 Drew I left the show a half hour early last night to drive over to someone's house to get a vintage porn movie I'd been looking for for about 15 years.

8:09🔗 Guest Was she everything you expected?

8:11🔗 Drew She was and more.

8:12🔗 Who was it?

8:13🔗 Drew Taboo 2 was the name of the movie.

8:15🔗 Guest Doesn't sound good.

8:16🔗 Drew It was. All right. So Andy, how much sobriety do you have, by the way?

8:20🔗 Adam Over seven months.

8:22🔗 Drew Wow. Look, you're still funny.

8:24🔗 Adam I'm okay.

8:25🔗 Drew I mean, not so far, but I mean, theoretically, you're still funny.

8:28🔗 Adam Yeah. On the 18th, I had seven months.

8:31🔗 Drew That's great.

8:32🔗 Adam Yeah.

8:32🔗 Drew Yeah, it's good. All right.

8:34🔗 Adam It gets easier and easier. Last time, the most sobriety I had was five months.

8:40🔗 Guest Wow.

8:41🔗 Guest Congratulations.

8:42🔗 Guest Yeah.

8:43🔗 Adam It's easier and easier.

8:44🔗 Guest It gets its own momentum at a certain point.

8:47🔗 Drew All right.

8:47🔗 Guest Yeah.

8:48🔗 Drew And what are you seeing? A shrink?

8:50🔗 Adam I'm seeing a shrink.

8:52🔗 Drew Psychiatrist? Psychologist?

8:54🔗 Adam Psychologist. He's a therapist.

8:56🔗 Drew So you're not on any meds right now?

8:58🔗 Adam No medication.

8:58🔗 Drew Really?

8:59🔗 Adam Don't want them.

9:00🔗 Drew What would you give him if he was your patient?

9:02🔗 Guest He's doing fine right now.

9:03🔗 Adam Yeah, right now. He's doing fine.

9:04🔗 Drew All right.

9:05🔗 Adam Not hitting anyone, not going crazy.

9:08🔗 Drew Way to the band gets in here.

9:09🔗 Adam All right.

9:09🔗 Drew All right. And Lisa, anything you want to plug? No, no, I'm fine. Modeling is going well? Yeah. I hear it's very hard work. It is. That's what they always say. Although I get the feeling about jobs where people say, oh, it's hard work, oh, it's hard work. I think they only say that because the perception is it's easy.

9:30🔗 Drew It is? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But not for you. Look at you.

9:33🔗 Guest Look at her.

9:34🔗 Drew Yeah. How old are you?

9:35🔗 Guest Jesus. 19.

9:37🔗 Drew Oh.

9:38🔗 Guest Oh, Christ. Lord.

9:42🔗 Drew I got to get into this business, Drew.

9:44🔗 Adam You're in it.

9:45🔗 Drew Oh, that's right.

9:45🔗 Adam By the way, I was wondering when you do your show, why don't you do what Howard does, which is just film it. Then you've got the thing here on the radio, then you can just show it on TV.

9:54🔗 Drew We'd be glad to. Kill two birds with one stone.

9:57🔗 Guest How about putting up on the web?

9:59🔗 Drew Leslie. Yes, that makes sense too. Leslie, you're 17.

10:03🔗 Caller Yeah. Hi.

10:04🔗 Drew What's up?

10:04🔗 Caller I have two questions, actually, if that's okay.

10:07🔗 Guest Yep.

10:07🔗 Guest All right.

10:08🔗 Guest The first one is about the 24-hour pill.

10:10🔗 Guest 24-hour pill?

10:12🔗 Guest Yeah.

10:12🔗 Guest Morning after pill?

10:13🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah. One of my friends, HealthEater, said that you can't use it more than once.

10:19🔗 Guest I just want to know if that was true.

10:20🔗 Guest That is totally incorrect.

10:23🔗 Drew Well, you can't use the same pill more than once.

10:25🔗 Guest Once you've taken it, you've taken it. But if you need it again, you should use it again.

10:30🔗 Caller It'll work properly?

10:31🔗 Guest Absolutely.

10:32🔗 Adam I take them five times a day.

10:34🔗 Drew Just to be safe. What else?

10:37🔗 Adam I made her laugh.

10:38🔗 Guest That's so scary. When we hear the health teachers instructing young people about-

10:41🔗 Drew Is that really a health teacher saying that?

10:44🔗 Guest Well, our health teachers are like the gym teachers in schools today.

10:48🔗 Drew Let me just explain something.

10:50🔗 Adam Let me say that when I feel a cold coming on, I'll pop them like candy.

10:56🔗 Drew I got to let you guys, I don't want to burst any bubbles out there, but I know you look at your teachers, God and sages and what not, but teachers are really sort of pathetic people who make 33 grand a year. They go home to a cat, they eat a lot of macaroni and cheese, they're usually two or three times divorced, they chain smoke in the teacher's lounge, and they drive like a 74 maverick around.

11:21🔗 Guest Our listeners don't care about that. Who are they around them now going to be the gym teachers of the future?

11:27🔗 Drew Right.

11:27🔗 Guest Who are they going to be? You know what I mean? Who are around them?

11:30🔗 Drew What kind of phrasing is that? What are you asking?

11:33🔗 Guest Who are around in their peer world amongst their peers is likely to be the gym teachers of the future.

11:38🔗 Adam Like what kids?

11:40🔗 Drew The people, the huskiest kid who's getting the worst score in his SAT. The kid you're making fun of will be teaching if all goes well in his life.

11:50🔗 Adam What is that Woody Allen thing if you can't teach gym?

11:55🔗 Drew No, if you can't do teach, and if you can't teach, teach gym. There you go. Leslie? All right, what was your second question?

12:04🔗 Guest My second question is, I absolutely need therapy in my own point of view at least, and my parents aren't around. Is it possible for me to get it if I use my credit card to pay for it and everything?

12:13🔗 Guest Absolutely.

12:14🔗 Adam Dr. Dick takes credit cards.

12:15🔗 So you don't need your parents' signature or anything?

12:17🔗 Guest No, no, absolutely not. Be careful who you select and ask around carefully. Might even talk to you if you have a doctor, talk to them.

12:23🔗 Drew Hold on, where do you get a credit card at 17?

12:26🔗 Guest From my parents.

12:27🔗 Drew And won't they see the bill?

12:29🔗 Guest Yes.

12:30🔗 Caller Well, my parents aren't around. I haven't seen them for like six months, so.

12:33🔗 Guest Oh, why?

12:34🔗 Drew What a dream. I wish my parents would have went somewhere and left me a credit card.

12:38🔗 Adam That's why she needs therapy.

12:39🔗 Caller That's right.

12:39🔗 Guest Where are your parents?

12:40🔗 Caller They're touring around right now in Europe.

12:43🔗 Guest Doing what?

12:43🔗 Adam What do they do? I'm just curious.

12:45🔗 Caller My father is a heart surgeon.

12:47🔗 Guest They're touring?

12:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:48🔗 Guest And they just think, oh, you're 17, you'll be fine by yourself?

12:51🔗 Adam Watch this one, folks.

12:53🔗 Caller Well, they've done this since I was little, so.

12:56🔗 Guest That is nuts. They tell me to disparage your family so much, but that's not a family.

13:00🔗 Caller All right.

13:01🔗 Drew So do you live alone?

13:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:03🔗 Drew You live on your own at 17, your 10th high school?

13:06🔗 Adam I think that's illegal.

13:07🔗 Guest I believe that is illegal. Since you were little, you've done this?

13:10🔗 Caller Oh, well, not really little. I mean, since I was 13 for a couple of months, three months.

13:16🔗 Guest They left you alone at 13?

13:17🔗 Adam Well, that's really illegal. I know under 15, I think it's illegal.

13:21🔗 Guest What does your mother do?

13:22🔗 Caller My mother?

13:23🔗 Guest She's a surgeon too, but an orthopedic surgeon.

13:26🔗 Guest Wow, you do need therapy.

13:27🔗 Drew Wow. I don't know, though. I mean...

13:29🔗 Caller That's the reason why I need therapy.

13:31🔗 Guest My parents are the most sane things in my life right now.

13:34🔗 Guest Well, what is the insane thing?

13:36🔗 Guest I've just gotten into some stuff that's like really, really...

13:41🔗 Caller I don't think I should talk about it on there.

13:43🔗 Adam Just get out of that stuff.

13:45🔗 Guest That's where the...

13:45🔗 Caller I can't. That's why I need therapy.

13:46🔗 Adam Well, what is it?

13:47🔗 Guest That's why you need parents. Listen, I read an interesting quote there. It was talking about how screwed up we've become in our parenting, that somehow people after they've lived 40, 50 years sort of assimilate the sum total, or at least attempt to assimilate the sum total of the last several thousand years of evolution as a civilization, right? But it's a parenting role. You take a lifetime of experience based on human's... Right. Civilization's experience the last several thousand years and try to impart that on somebody who's been in this world for a decade and a half. Right. And to assume that the person that's been in this world for a decade plus three years is somehow going to magically have all that information available to them is totally insane.

14:30🔗 Drew Okay.

14:30🔗 Guest And that you need parents around, Leslie, that's why you're getting into that.

14:33🔗 Drew Well, I want to know what she's into right now.

14:34🔗 Adam Yeah, I want to know what she's into.

14:36🔗 Caller What I'm into right now, I really shouldn't talk about on the air.

14:39🔗 Drew Just give us a hint. Give us a hint. Go for it. I'm sure it's nothing Andy wasn't into last night.

14:44🔗 Adam Go for it.

14:45🔗 Guest It involves a murder of suicide, but it wasn't suicide.

14:49🔗 Guest What?

14:50🔗 Drew So it was a murder?

14:52🔗 Guest Well, there was a murder with one of my close friends, and they're investigating it right now, but I could be in it really bad.

15:00🔗 Drew Well, you didn't-

15:01🔗 Guest Did you help?

15:02🔗 Guest Well, I was there, but right now, they're thinking it was a suicide, but it really wasn't.

15:08🔗 Adam How did he or she die?

15:11🔗 Guest Someone killed them obviously.

15:13🔗 Guest How?

15:14🔗 Adam How?

15:14🔗 Drew Somebody killed them.

15:15🔗 Guest No, how? Pills, gun?

15:17🔗 Guest Yeah, like, put the gun up their mouth.

15:20🔗 Drew Wow.

15:20🔗 Guest Oh my god.

15:22🔗 Drew And why did they do this?

15:24🔗 Guest There's lots of reasons to it right now, but I don't think he deserved it, but it's just like stuff like that.

15:31🔗 Adam That's not just stuff.

15:34🔗 Drew Wow.

15:34🔗 Adam Oh my god. I have to leave at this point.

15:38🔗 Drew Okay.

15:39🔗 Guest This isn't good for your sobriety.

15:40🔗 Adam Thanks a lot, Dr. Drew and Adam.

15:42🔗 Drew Sorry.

15:43🔗 Adam I'm gonna go have a drink now.

15:45🔗 Drew Thank god he still carries a flask. Leslie, get into some therapy, use the credit card, and talk to the therapist about this. Call the police.

15:54🔗 Caller Call the police.

15:55🔗 Guest If I talk to the therapist about this, they can't say anything to the police, right?

16:01🔗 Drew I'm not sure about that.

16:02🔗 Adam She should call the police, I think.

16:03🔗 Drew Why don't you talk to the police, Leslie?

16:06🔗 Caller Because I can't.

16:07🔗 Guest Why?

16:08🔗 Because they could kill me too.

16:10🔗 Guest Oh, this guy who killed somebody could kill her.

16:12🔗 Guest Yeah.

16:13🔗 Guest Oh, my God.

16:16🔗 Guest Wouldn't they be able to protect you from him?

16:18🔗 Drew You think?

16:20🔗 Guest I don't know. I just don't want to go there right now.

16:22🔗 Drew All right, Leslie?

16:23🔗 Guest Yes?

16:24🔗 Drew Go to the shrink and talk to the shrink.

16:26🔗 Guest Yeah, but you guys don't know if they can go to the cops or not.

16:29🔗 Drew Let's say no.

16:30🔗 Guest I don't think they can.

16:32🔗 Drew Well, you can talk to a priest and they can't go, right?

16:35🔗 Guest Right. But if you are intending to harm somebody else or yourself, you can. But if something has happened, and you are discussing it, I don't believe they can't.

16:44🔗 Drew Okay, go to the shrink, talk to them.

16:47🔗 Guest Leslie, you need some care. Your parents, I'm sorry, have been behaving illegally and irresponsibly in terms of the parenting that they have done for you.

16:57🔗 Drew Let's find out one thing real fast. Leslie, how old were you when you got the credit card?

17:01🔗 Caller When I got the credit card?

17:04🔗 Guest My God.

17:05🔗 Drew I was twenty-seven and had one from the Bank of Hoban. I had to put three hundred bucks up and then guess what my limit was? There you go.

17:14🔗 Guest But listen, here's the example. Here's your dream come true.

17:17🔗 Drew Yes. Parents leave and leave me the credit card.

17:20🔗 Guest But look, look what happens.

17:21🔗 Drew That'd still be worth it. Dahlia?

17:26🔗 Guest I can't leave that call behind.

17:27🔗 Drew Delilah?

17:29🔗 Guest I'm having trouble leaving that call.

17:30🔗 Drew Well, go talk to her.

17:32🔗 Caller Dahlia?

17:33🔗 Drew All right, Dahlia, sorry.

17:35🔗 Caller Hi.

17:36🔗 Drew Hi. What's up? Well, hold on a second. You want to talk to Lesley off the air?

17:41🔗 Guest Yeah.

17:42🔗 Drew All right, we'll just keep her on hold and we'll do it during the break.

17:45🔗 Guest You ready for me?

17:46🔗 Drew Dahlia, go ahead.

17:47🔗 Guest All right. I got something really weird to say first.

17:49🔗 Drew Okay.

17:50🔗 Guest All right.

17:51🔗 Adam Yeah, but we have a murder on our hands.

17:54🔗 Guest She needs to, she needs to, well, she doesn't need my...

17:57🔗 Adam Dr. Drew's going to talk to her.

17:58🔗 Guest Yeah. All right, cool. Anyway, listen, I'm hearing your show today for a yesterday's show when you were going to get that porno thing.

18:05🔗 Drew Right.

18:06🔗 Guest Isn't that odd? Or is that how it went?

18:08🔗 Guest It was west of the, east of the Mississippi. That's what you hear.

18:10🔗 Drew Where are you calling from?

18:11🔗 Guest Chicago.

18:12🔗 Drew Well, there you go.

18:13🔗 Guest Oh, so tomorrow I'll hear mine.

18:15🔗 Drew That's right.

18:15🔗 Guest Actually, I think if you wait till 1A, they play tonight's show.

18:20🔗 Drew Well, there you go.

18:21🔗 Guest Or something like that, right?

18:22🔗 Guest Well, anyway.

18:22🔗 Drew That's New York, Drew, please.

18:24🔗 Guest That's New York.

18:24🔗 Drew All the affiliates. So what's your question?

18:26🔗 Guest Okay, well, it's not really a question. I have a big problem. I'm a horny little girl. How old are you? I'm 23. I'm just joking. I'm not a little girl, but I am constantly horny. I'm like an 18 year old boy.

18:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:42🔗 Guest I'm.

18:43🔗 Drew Throw a stop there.

18:43🔗 Guest Well, now here's interesting. Do you act on this? You have these feelings?

18:47🔗 Guest Well, I have a monogamous boyfriend.

18:49🔗 Guest Right.

18:49🔗 Guest I'm also on the run from my ex-husband who beat me. And but I do want to be with a woman. And the strange thing is, I when I masturbate, I have to think of really, no where do I come.

19:00🔗 Guest All right. Well, here in.

19:02🔗 Guest I'm sorry.

19:02🔗 Guest You got that. Yeah.

19:03🔗 Drew All right. Hold on. I'm ready to do some gambling.

19:05🔗 Guest Yeah. Here's the deal. People. Here's where we get criticized. This woman is asexual compulsive. Right.

19:10🔗 Drew Yes.

19:10🔗 Guest And everybody wants to say, oh, hey, she's just making choices. She's just, you know, explore her sexuality. That's so much BS. We're going to find out that some real stuff going on.

19:20🔗 Drew We're going to try. Andy, you got any money?

19:22🔗 Adam Yes, I do.

19:23🔗 Drew Lisa, you got any money? No. No. Andy?

19:26🔗 Adam I'll put some in for you.

19:27🔗 Drew Sugar Daddy?

19:28🔗 Adam Yeah, I'll put some in for you.

19:28🔗 Drew Put up a little for that beautiful Lisa.

19:31🔗 Adam I know you're betting that she has problems.

19:33🔗 Drew What, you got a five? I got a five. All right, we'll give you change. We'll see if you win or not. All right, we're betting on Delilah's past. Okay. That's what it is. She's 23. She's with a guy. She's having a monogamous relationship. Everything seems pretty- Put in five.

19:47🔗 Adam Come on, put in five.

19:48🔗 Drew I don't have five. Everything seems pretty-

19:50🔗 Adam I'll give you change.

19:52🔗 Drew Everything seems pretty good. But on the other hand, I had the abusive first boyfriend. I was thinking about a woman now. Smelling a little chaos. Drew, why don't you go first?

20:01🔗 Guest It's with bizarre thoughts.

20:03🔗 Drew Right.

20:04🔗 Guest No, no, I'll go last.

20:05🔗 Drew Yeah, but go-

20:05🔗 Adam I'll go first.

20:06🔗 Drew Okay, go ahead, Andy. What happened in her past? Go ahead.

20:09🔗 Adam She was molested by a family member.

20:16🔗 Guest Uncle, father?

20:18🔗 Adam I'm going to say- do you have to get- I'm going to say uncle. Do you have to get specific? Can't I just say family member?

20:22🔗 Guest It's better when you're specific.

20:23🔗 Adam I'll say uncle, but will I win if it was-

20:26🔗 Drew We might give it to you depending on-

20:27🔗 Guest Unless somebody else says dad and it's dad.

20:29🔗 Drew Yeah. Lisa, what do you got?

20:32🔗 Guest How old was she, by the way, when that happened?

20:34🔗 Adam When that happened, seven to 13.

20:37🔗 Guest Okay.

20:38🔗 Drew Oh, that's a huge window. Go ahead. Everyone gets molested sometime between seven and 13 or calls this show.

20:43🔗 Adam I was.

20:44🔗 Drew Go ahead. What do you-

20:46🔗 Drew All right. That's fine. That's fine. I'm going to go with no sexual abuse. I'm going with physical abuse. I'm going with a physically abusive father, mostly on mom.

20:58🔗 Guest Okay.

20:59🔗 Drew And a little on her.

21:00🔗 Guest Anything else about dad?

21:01🔗 Drew No.

21:02🔗 Guest Okay.

21:02🔗 Drew Well, a little boozing.

21:03🔗 Guest Okay.

21:04🔗 Guest Sure. All right.

21:07🔗 Drew Lisa, came back to you pretty fast, didn't it?

21:09🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm going to spice it up. I'm going to say maybe some religious abuse or maybe really protective parents.

21:16🔗 Drew Religious abuse. I like that.

21:19🔗 Adam They're such a thing.

21:21🔗 Drew And she snapped and went around the other way.

21:23🔗 Guest Yeah.

21:23🔗 Drew That's good. We don't get that that often.

21:25🔗 Guest Intrusive parents.

21:26🔗 Adam You know somebody like that.

21:27🔗 Guest Yeah.

21:27🔗 Adam I have a friend like that.

21:28🔗 Drew Very good. All right. So very, very strict, intrusive, religious parents. I witnessed it.

21:32🔗 Adam I witnessed her friends.

21:33🔗 Guest Yeah. But her friend that snapped. Probably had extremely aggressive parents. And then she got abused by somebody in the neighborhood or something when she was like 10.

21:40🔗 Drew Okay. Drew?

21:40🔗 Guest That's usually where that goes.

21:41🔗 Adam We never asked her that part.

21:43🔗 Drew Go ahead, Drew. Let's keep it rolling here.

21:45🔗 Guest All right. They had like a mega addict and physical and sexual abuse.

21:50🔗 Drew Physical and sexual abuse. All right.

21:51🔗 Guest Delilah?

21:52🔗 Guest You ready for me?

21:53🔗 Drew Yes.

21:53🔗 Guest I want to see how well you did.

21:55🔗 Drew Yes.

21:55🔗 Guest Yes, please.

21:56🔗 Guest Not abused by parents sexually or physically. Both my parents are great parents. They raised me as best as they could. I was sexually, I lost my virginity to a stick by my next door neighbor while he was babysitting me for years.

22:10🔗 Drew How old was the stick?

22:11🔗 Adam I should have said babysitter. I was molested by my babysitter.

22:15🔗 Guest He was about 20 years old and I was five.

22:18🔗 Drew Five or two. He used a stick on you?

22:21🔗 Guest Yes, and his organ and whatnot.

22:24🔗 Adam How many times?

22:25🔗 Drew He used himself and the stick.

22:27🔗 Guest Yeah.

22:28🔗 Adam Just one time or?

22:29🔗 Guest No, over the course of four years.

22:31🔗 Drew Four years. Oh, my God. All right. Hold on a second. Hold on. Great parents, they did a great job except for they sent her to the neighbor who was raping her with a stick for many years.

22:41🔗 Guest Yeah. No.

22:42🔗 Adam What? No what?

22:43🔗 Drew That's bad parenting.

22:44🔗 Guest Great parents don't do that.

22:45🔗 Adam Yeah. They call and collect.

22:47🔗 Drew They catch on.

22:48🔗 Adam I had to collect. I neglected to tell you that.

22:51🔗 Drew Delilah?

22:52🔗 Guest Yeah. Listen to me.

22:52🔗 Drew Okay.

22:54🔗 Guest My parents didn't know anything about this. They really didn't know.

22:58🔗 Drew I know.

22:58🔗 Guest Everybody seems sane and I know that sounds crazy, but I didn't even know that this happened to me until I turned 13. I started having flashes of what happened to me when I was a child.

23:06🔗 Drew All right.

23:07🔗 Guest So I never confronted them about that because I didn't want them to worry about me more.

23:11🔗 Drew Okay. Quiet down. Would you hold on?

23:14🔗 Guest All right. But I get so much.

23:15🔗 Drew Shut up. Shut up. Jesus, are you nuts? Shut up. Listen to me. Age, age five?

23:21🔗 Guest Yeah.

23:22🔗 Drew To age what he did this to you?

23:23🔗 Guest I'm, it's really hazy because it's suppressed memories. But I would say from age five until age eight.

23:32🔗 Drew So three years and every time you went over there?

23:35🔗 Guest I'm not quite sure. It's very hazy.

23:37🔗 Adam I was right on it.

23:38🔗 Drew All right. And what else?

23:40🔗 Guest Okay. And then my first boyfriend physically abused me. My second boyfriend put loaded guns to my head and in my mouth and he had sex with me with a loaded gun.

23:55🔗 Guest That's nice.

23:56🔗 Drew That's perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

23:59🔗 Guest And I did that last night.

24:03🔗 And let's see.

24:05🔗 Adam Hey, by the way, I wasn't kidding when I said I was molested by a babysitter. I wasn't making a joke. I really was.

24:10🔗 Caller No, no, no, no, I'm sorry.

24:12🔗 Guest Yes, I appreciate it.

24:14🔗 Caller I mean, stop.

24:14🔗 Adam No, I wasn't.

24:15🔗 Drew I'm not kidding. Delilah, you have to stop saying the S word, please. All right. Now calm down.

24:20🔗 Guest All right.

24:21🔗 Drew Let me ask you a few questions because we have to settle this bet.

24:25🔗 Adam But it was mild.

24:25🔗 Drew What's your dad do for a living?

24:27🔗 Guest My dad has three jobs. He's a hard working man.

24:29🔗 Drew That's bad, though. Three jobs. That's a bad thing.

24:32🔗 Guest He had quite a big family.

24:35🔗 Drew Yeah. He didn't do any drinking?

24:37🔗 Guest Nope. My mom drank one beer and got drunk one night.

24:41🔗 Drew Okay. So your mom didn't drink, your dad didn't drink.

24:42🔗 Guest No, they're really straight-laced people. I mean, they really tried hard. It was society that messed me up, not my parents.

24:47🔗 Drew Society? And-

24:50🔗 Guest How many siblings did you have?

24:51🔗 Adam Societal abuse?

24:52🔗 Guest Six sisters.

24:53🔗 Guest Two sisters.

24:54🔗 Guest Two sisters.

24:55🔗 Guest I'm the milk child.

24:56🔗 Drew And nobody ever, your dad never raised a hand to you?

24:59🔗 Guest Never. Well, I mean, like when I got Smart Mal, he might have like, my mom usually was the backhander. She'd give me backhander.

25:05🔗 Guest Okay, that's physical abuse.

25:06🔗 Drew All right.

25:07🔗 Guest Yeah, I mean, it's not, it's-

25:09🔗 Drew Nothing overt. Okay. And your parents are still together?

25:12🔗 Guest Oh, yeah, yeah. They love each other right now.

25:13🔗 Drew Okay. So this all, most of this stems from your neighbor.

25:17🔗 Guest Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking that. And then, you know, the fact that my ex-boyfriend loaded guns to the head and my husband who-

25:23🔗 Drew No, but that all came from something early on.

25:25🔗 Guest That came, Dayla.

25:26🔗 Adam That was Dayla.

25:27🔗 Guest That was derived from the molestation you did.

25:28🔗 Guest Dayla, you might look into SA because this is, as I said-

25:33🔗 Adam Sex addicts anonymous.

25:34🔗 Guest Yeah, you're opening history as that of sexual compulsivity.

25:37🔗 Drew Yeah.

25:38🔗 Guest And a 12-step program sometimes can go a long way very efficiently and effectively in helping you sort through a lot of this.

25:44🔗 Adam It's working for me.

25:45🔗 Drew All right. The bed-

25:46🔗 Guest A spiritual program recovery could really, really help you and this is specifically designed for exactly what you've got. Now, therapy, I'm completely into, I think that's important, but the two together could go a long way quickly in helping you.

25:57🔗 Drew All right. Don't act out, please. Do I get the money? No, the whole thing's a push. None of us got the-

26:04🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute.

26:04🔗 Guest Can I ask what the neighbor-

26:06🔗 Adam I did, I did.

26:06🔗 Drew Yeah. Okay. All right. Andy Dick is here along with the beautiful model girlfriend, Lisa, who's 19 years old.

26:14🔗 Guest Why don't we have a song-

26:15🔗 Adam God, she's gorgeous.

26:16🔗 Guest Have them play a song out of the break so I can talk to Leslie.

26:19🔗 Drew All right. When we come back, we'll hear- Don't kiss in front of me.

26:23🔗 Guest I love her.

26:26🔗 Drew Well, here's something from Andy, new song from him and the Bitches of the Century after this.

26:31🔗 Guest You're about to get funky, yo.

26:34🔗 Adam This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

26:38🔗 Guest We'll be right back.

27:07🔗 Drew It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, fax number, forget about that. Dr. Drew's in the next room. Andy Dick has just stumbled into the studio. You know him, of course, from his work in the new Get Smart series. Andy is here with his band, The Bitches of the Century. They are, why don't you introduce yourself, by the way, guys?

27:35🔗 Guest I'm Andrew Sherman.

27:37🔗 Drew Who's playing guitar, by the way.

27:39🔗 Adam Tim Walsh, guitar. That's Andrew Little Juicy Sherman. LJ for short. Tim, always after me, Lucky Charms Walsh.

27:49🔗 Drew Right.

27:50🔗 Adam Say hi, Tim. How's it going? And that's David Remember Diana Windham.

27:54🔗 Guest David Paul Windham.

27:55🔗 Drew And what happened to the Chief Firewater who was in here last time?

28:02🔗 Adam He's been drinking a little too much of the firewater.

28:04🔗 Drew I see. Andy Dick is, of course, like I said, our guest tonight. And Andy is not only a talented comedian, actor, writer and composer, but a singer as well. And he's written a few songs. I've heard at least five or six of them. I enjoyed all of them. And I don't think tonight's going to be any different. Andy, you guys about ready?

28:28🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm trying to rewrite the lyrics because these are really kind of nasty.

28:32🔗 Drew Right. Did you know you're going to be on the radio tonight? Yeah.

28:37🔗 Adam But then they slapped me with the seven words you can't say, right? Just a second ago.

28:43🔗 Drew Do you want to take a call and then play the song?

28:46🔗 Adam Take a quick call.

28:47🔗 Drew Take a quick call. All right, Andy, we're going to take a quick call here, Dr. Drew, and then we'll get back with Andy and the Bitches of the Century.

28:56🔗 Guest Andy is penning all the alternative lyrics here right now.

28:59🔗 Drew Yeah. Billy?

29:00🔗 Guest It's like monkey mouth. Special version. Don't read it.

29:03🔗 Drew Billy, you're 15. You want to get a Dead Like Drew? You know better than that.

29:08🔗 Guest They're going to sock me in the jaw.

29:11🔗 Drew Billy? You're 15.

29:13🔗 Caller Yeah, it's sex day for the first time.

29:15🔗 Drew Well, congratulations.

29:20🔗 Caller And when she told me to go down on her, I didn't really smell that great.

29:23🔗 Drew Right. Yeah.

29:26🔗 Caller I've always heard Dr. Drew talk about it could be a disease or something.

29:28🔗 Guest No, I didn't say it could be an infection.

29:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:31🔗 Guest Infection that affects mostly women is just a vaginal infection.

29:34🔗 Caller Yeah, and I could translate it to an ergo, but I can't get it.

29:36🔗 Drew All right, but let me explain. This is the first time you've been down on a woman? Yeah. None of them smell that peachy, so we don't really know.

29:44🔗 Caller What is really?

29:45🔗 Drew Well, here's the point.

29:46🔗 Guest It's considered sort of what they call-

29:48🔗 Drew An acquired taste.

29:49🔗 Guest Well, but in terms of a sign of infection, they call it malodorous, means it knocks you over.

29:54🔗 Drew Well, here's what I want to say. You guys, at 15, we all took our first shot of tequila, or shot of whiskey, or slug of beer, or whatever it was.

30:04🔗 Guest Wasn't yummy.

30:05🔗 Drew It was not yummy. I mean, how was that first shot of hard liquor you all took at 15, 14, 16, Andy's Case, 9, whatever it was. The point is, is everything is bad. That first drag off a cigarette, that first puff off a cigar or a bong, that first shot of booze, the first time you ate, I don't know, caviar or first oyster you shot down. It's all bad at the beginning, but the worst it is at the beginning, oftentimes, the more you crave it and the better it can be as an adult. It's this way, although I haven't gotten to this point yet with oral sex, it is this way with women. I don't believe, there's not a woman alive that doesn't have some, where you couldn't sense a little difference in the air that you're breathing when you're a top side, as opposed to down in the stow. Hint, hint, hint. But that doesn't mean she has an infection, and Billy doesn't have much to compare it to. Billy, was it really bad or was it just like a little funky little different?

31:08🔗 Guest It smelled like butt.

31:08🔗 Drew What?

31:09🔗 Guest It smelled like butt.

31:10🔗 Drew Like butt. I love it. Which way was she facing?

31:14🔗 Caller She was laying on the bed.

31:15🔗 Drew I see. Okay, well you are, you know, heading down to that zone. Was it a...

31:21🔗 Guest When it's an infection, it's not a stool smell.

31:24🔗 Drew Was it a surprise sort of sexual thing? Had she just gotten back from volleyball practice or something?

31:30🔗 Adam No.

31:31🔗 Drew No, she knew you were coming. Yeah. Okay, and...

31:35🔗 Guest I don't think you see that, Andy.

31:36🔗 Adam What... Are you sure?

31:38🔗 Drew Yeah. Hey...

31:39🔗 Guest Jizz guzzling?

31:40🔗 Guest No, shh.

31:41🔗 Drew Drew, please.

31:41🔗 Guest That's fine.

31:43🔗 Drew Hey, Billy?

31:44🔗 Guest Yeah.

31:45🔗 Drew So you don't want to get down there again. Did you stay down there?

31:47🔗 Guest No, I tried to like 20 seconds. I got right back up.

31:50🔗 Drew Oh, that's nice. Oh, she'll be years of therapy. Years of therapy it will take for her to get that out of her system.

31:57🔗 Caller She kept saying go down.

31:58🔗 Guest I was like, no.

32:00🔗 Drew Really? How old is she?

32:01🔗 Caller She's 15 too.

32:02🔗 Drew 15 and she's like, go down, go down?

32:04🔗 Caller She said around three times.

32:06🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

32:07🔗 Caller And of course around an hour.

32:09🔗 Drew Billy, you may be in a little over your head with this one.

32:12🔗 Caller Yeah, well, she always says like, oh, I can't wait to meet you again. I'm just, I don't really want to.

32:17🔗 Drew All right, Billy, don't get her pregnant. Yes, go ahead.

32:19🔗 Guest Don't give up. It's worth the wait.

32:22🔗 Drew The oral sex. And look at it this way. All things being sort of equal and relative, the next chick you're with is going to smell like fresh cut pine. You know.

32:32🔗 Adam Delicious.

32:33🔗 Drew All right, Andy, did you work your lyrics out? Yes, I did. What's the name?

32:37🔗 Adam What's that pie?

32:38🔗 Drew What's the name of this song?

32:39🔗 Adam Harry Clam Pie.

32:41🔗 Drew What's the name of this song?

32:41🔗 Adam It's going to smell like Harry Clam Pie.

32:43🔗 Drew I can.

32:44🔗 Adam Unacceptable.

32:45🔗 Drew I can give you a.

32:46🔗 Adam I'd like some Harry Clam Pie a la mode.

32:49🔗 Drew Andy.

32:49🔗 Adam Yes.

32:50🔗 Drew I'll give you an opportunity to play your music on a national level here.

32:53🔗 Adam Well, let me just say, let me just preface it by saying, you know, this guy, Chris Catan does this.

32:59🔗 Drew Right. We've had him on the show.

33:02🔗 Drew Seems lovely. God, I don't like that name.

33:04🔗 Guest Very talented.

33:05🔗 Adam No, he's not.

33:06🔗 Guest Mango.

33:07🔗 Drew Andy.

33:08🔗 Adam Listen, he does this thing. This is the mango. When I was having my troubles, he attacked me on the air and did this impersonation. It wasn't flattering. It wasn't nice. To me, it wasn't even funny. Maybe some people thought it was.

33:21🔗 Guest I didn't think it was.

33:22🔗 Drew Andy.

33:23🔗 Adam But my point is, when a guy is down, you don't kick him. You don't kick him when he's down, especially if you're part of the comedy family. That's right. Also, especially if you're part of the Saturday Night Live family, I'm not part of that family, but they've had people die from this disease. They've had people die from Belushi to Farley and others.

33:43🔗 Guest A number of people die of that disease.

33:46🔗 Adam In the comedy family from drug-related deaths.

33:49🔗 Drew Right.

33:50🔗 Adam It's just not nice. To me, it's pure evil. I don't make fun of people like that. Let's say you, Adam, start it.

33:56🔗 Guest Quite well taken.

33:57🔗 Drew Yes. I know what you're saying. But isn't it true you're jealous because he's the only one skinnier than you are?

34:05🔗 Adam He is skinny, isn't he? It's in the song.

34:07🔗 Guest You could probably kick his ass.

34:09🔗 Drew All right. So this is a rebuttal to Chris Catan's vicious attack against Andy Dick.

34:14🔗 Adam I don't do this, but if somebody attacks me, I do attack them.

34:16🔗 Drew It's payback time. All right, Andy.

34:18🔗 Guest This is the mango.

34:20🔗 Guest Don't upset him. What happens when he's singing is his own passion.

34:24🔗 Adam Real nice and slow so they can hear it. But that, former friend, is too good for you. I'm gonna break the sticks off in your ass. Cause I've had enough of your stupid ass jokes, you wig wearing, no talent hack. I'll stoop to your level, but just for one song, you ugly, diminutive sack. Sucking short, skinny, monkey-mouthed, pencil-dicked, butt-munching... So next time I see you, I guarantee you, I'll make you my bitch.

36:21🔗 Guest You've...

36:25🔗 Adam So angry, isn't it?

36:26🔗 Guest That was the G-rated version, right?

36:27🔗 Adam Wow. That was the nicer one, yeah.

36:29🔗 Guest I see, okay.

36:30🔗 Drew Andy spent 45 minutes...

36:32🔗 Guest Repenning that.

36:33🔗 Drew Repenning the X version to end up with the...

36:37🔗 Adam Did you cut any of it out?

36:39🔗 Drew With the 17.

36:40🔗 Adam Just a little bit.

36:41🔗 Drew All right, that was excellent. Andy Dick, everyone, in the Bitches of the Century, with another fine song.

36:46🔗 Adam We've got more later on, right?

36:49🔗 Drew No? Yes, we will hear another one. Another one about Chris Kattan?

36:53🔗 Adam No, that's all the power I'm giving him. And I swear to God, I don't do that. I don't attack people, but I'm so... It really hurt me. And he did it five times.

37:03🔗 Drew Right.

37:03🔗 Adam You know, it's just not... He'll do anything to get ahead, is what people tell me.

37:07🔗 Drew People on the show told me.

37:09🔗 Adam He's just a big effing butthole.

37:12🔗 Drew All right, but you do have one about Norm MacDonald.

37:14🔗 Adam No, I love that guy. No, I love Norm MacDonald.

37:17🔗 Drew I do too. All right, we are going to take ourselves a quick break here. When we come back, who are we going to talk to, Drew? Have you done any homework at all?

37:25🔗 Guest I put Jeff down there, but maybe one of...

37:29🔗 Drew Yeah, that ain't the one we're going to talk to. Come on.

37:31🔗 Guest One?

37:32🔗 Drew One, all right. We'll talk to Kaylina, who is 16, cheating on boyfriend with a sister. Thinks he knows. That's a good call after this. It is Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Tonight, our very special guest is Andy Dick. I'm proud to call him a friend of the show and a friend. Andy was just in here with the Bitches of the Century, singing the Chris Kattan song.

38:30🔗 Guest When were you first on the show?

38:31🔗 Drew He was there.

38:32🔗 Adam I was just going to say, I've been a supporter of the show.

38:34🔗 Drew You're the one who will wait until I'm done.

38:35🔗 Guest I'm sorry. I think you're done.

38:36🔗 Adam Since you started, I was even a guest when they had that other guy. Well, anyways, go. Wait, let him go.

38:42🔗 Drew What? No, say it.

38:43🔗 Adam Come on.

38:44🔗 Drew I'm just- Andy and the bitches are going to sing another song in the next hour. That's what I was saying.

38:49🔗 Adam Thank you. Did you like that song?

38:51🔗 Drew Yes. I enjoy all of your work.

38:52🔗 Adam Thank you.

38:53🔗 Drew Kaylina?

38:54🔗 Guest Yeah.

38:55🔗 Drew You're 16?

38:56🔗 Guest Yes, I am.

38:56🔗 Drew What's up?

38:58🔗 Guest Okay. I've been dating this guy for about six months. I just recently discovered that I'm bi. His sister has been a lesbian for a long time, and we've just been intimate for about a month.

39:15🔗 Drew How old is his sister?

39:17🔗 Guest She's 18.

39:18🔗 Drew And what do you mean by intimate? You guys are performing oral sex on each other?

39:22🔗 Guest Yeah. She's the first one I've ever let go down on me. And I don't know, she just like, she pledges me way better than he can, because he's not really into it.

39:36🔗 Drew All right. But let me explain why women have an added advantage over men when it comes to oral sex. Where are they going? That's it.

39:45🔗 Guest What's next?

39:45🔗 Drew That's the end. You understand?

39:47🔗 Guest Yeah.

39:48🔗 Drew Man does oral sex long enough to moisten a woman sufficiently in order to have the intercourse or to get some himself. But women, that's the final destination. Where are you going from there? That's it. The train stops and it's not going, it's not going, it's not being routed anywhere else. So of course they're better. All right. I just felt I had to say that. All right. So she, you're having sex with the guy's sister and you're having sex with the guy, right?

40:17🔗 Guest Yeah.

40:17🔗 Drew Okay. And what happened to you?

40:20🔗 Guest Nothing.

40:21🔗 Drew You're screwed up though. I mean, something's got to be up.

40:23🔗 Guest Well, actually, no, I'm just normal. I had a normal life and everything.

40:28🔗 Guest Why would you be so mean to your boyfriend is to cheat on him with a family member?

40:32🔗 Guest I don't know. I mean, I think the reason why it turned to like girls is because I had a boyfriend before him and he like really, really broke my heart. I mean, like I had like a nervous breakdown and she just like comforted me and like one thing led to another.

40:47🔗 Drew But you're with a guy now and he's good to you?

40:50🔗 Guest Well, yeah, but he doesn't.

40:52🔗 Drew All right. How's their family? They chaotic at the lesbian sister there?

40:56🔗 Guest Well, not really. They're like really religious people, but she's like, I don't know.

41:02🔗 Guest You had a nervous breakdown, you were hospitalized?

41:06🔗 Guest No, I locked myself in my room for like two weeks and I didn't do anything. I didn't eat or anything.

41:12🔗 Drew Yeah, I do that now.

41:13🔗 Guest You were severely depressed?

41:15🔗 Guest Yeah, I just, I mean, all I had was water. I drank sink water from my bathroom. I was just so-

41:20🔗 Guest Where is your perfect family while you're locked in your room?

41:23🔗 Guest Like trying to get me out of my room.

41:25🔗 Drew For two weeks?

41:26🔗 Guest Yeah.

41:27🔗 Drew To no avail?

41:28🔗 Guest No.

41:29🔗 Drew Okay.

41:29🔗 Guest Couldn't get you to eat for two weeks. Not a perfect family.

41:32🔗 Drew What's going on with that family here, seriously?

41:35🔗 Guest Nothing.

41:36🔗 Drew Okay. All right.

41:38🔗 Guest A perfect family after about eight hours would call the fire department and have the door knocked down.

41:42🔗 Drew Where's your dad?

41:45🔗 Guest My mom and dad are divorced.

41:46🔗 Drew Okay. Do you see him?

41:49🔗 Guest Yeah. I see him every weekend.

41:51🔗 Drew You got a stepdad?

41:52🔗 Guest No.

41:53🔗 Drew Okay. All right. What's your dad do? Construction?

41:56🔗 Guest Yeah.

41:56🔗 Drew Oh, boy. That's trouble. When did your dad rape you? What's he do in construction?

42:02🔗 Guest What do you mean?

42:04🔗 Guest He builds houses.

42:06🔗 Guest He's like-

42:06🔗 Guest Framer.

42:07🔗 Guest Yeah.

42:07🔗 Drew No. Please. Please. I've worked with these guys. You know what? He doesn't even know your name. He calls you the kid.

42:15🔗 Guest Oh, my God.

42:16🔗 Drew He sits on a pile of drywall, eats a Diablo sandwich, and talks about having to hang out with the kid this weekend.

42:22🔗 Guest Yeah.

42:22🔗 Drew I know those guys. He's a framer.

42:24🔗 Guest Well, he just doesn't pay any attention to me.

42:27🔗 Drew That's right.

42:28🔗 Guest He throws me money and says, OK, go on your way.

42:30🔗 Drew OK. Well, now you're getting plenty of attention.

42:32🔗 Guest That's a perfect family, by the way.

42:34🔗 Drew Perfect.

42:34🔗 Guest Well, I love my dad.

42:35🔗 Guest Of course you do. I stand that. But there's a lot more he could be doing for you.

42:39🔗 Adam And he loves you.

42:40🔗 Guest And by the way, you standing by a parakeet cage or something?

42:43🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

42:45🔗 Guest Do you hear that?

42:46🔗 Drew Good thing she didn't eat the bird when she got down on hunger strike. Hey, Kayla. Sorry, Kaylina. Yeah. Well, why don't you break? Do me a favor. Break up with your boyfriend.

42:58🔗 Guest Yeah.

42:59🔗 Drew Yes, you want out of this relationship. Fine. Get out of it.

43:02🔗 Guest If you love him, you've harmed him and you ought to help him. You love him enough to protect him from what you're going to do to him.

43:07🔗 Drew Jeff? Yeah. 16. What's up?

43:10🔗 Um, I had a question.

43:13🔗 Guest Wow. You smoke a lot of pot.

43:15🔗 Guest Hey, hey, buddy.

43:18🔗 Caller Um, what's up?

43:19🔗 Um, yeah, like, like I smoke a lot of pot.

43:23🔗 Caller And well, I mean, I'm a bright person.

43:26🔗 Caller I mean, I get good grades in school.

43:28🔗 The thing is, like the pot, it's like making me depressed.

43:31🔗 Guest Of course.

43:32🔗 Guest Yeah.

43:32🔗 Guest I'm glad you're real. It's good that that's you realize that.

43:35🔗 Guest That's what it does.

43:36🔗 Adam How much do you smoke?

43:38🔗 Guest A day.

43:39🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. A day.

43:40🔗 I don't know whatever I can get.

43:42🔗 Adam Per hour. Yeah. You wake and bake.

43:45🔗 Caller No, I never smoke weed in the morning.

43:47🔗 Guest I don't like that.

43:48🔗 Adam By when? Within the first couple of hours?

43:50🔗 Caller No, I don't smoke weed before I go to school in the morning.

43:52🔗 Guest I smoke it after school.

43:54🔗 Adam Right after.

43:54🔗 Guest 8.30 instead of 7.30.

43:57🔗 Guest No, I smoke it at like 4.30, 4.20.

44:00🔗 Caller Yeah, 8.

44:02🔗 Adam 4.20.

44:03🔗 Drew Jeff. Yeah. Don't your parents know you smoke a lot of weed?

44:06🔗 Guest No, they don't.

44:07🔗 Drew I'm good. How stoned are they? Listen, I've known you for 35 seconds. I know you're smoking weed. Yeah.

44:14🔗 Caller See, I put on an act for him.

44:16🔗 Drew Well, why don't you do that for us so we can get through the call? Oh, all right. Okay, go ahead. All right. Oh, yeah.

44:22🔗 I know. I've been thinking about like switching to meth, you know, to bring me back up.

44:28🔗 Guest But Jeff, that's what people do, and the meth is what brings people down hard. That's what brings people to their bottom.

44:33🔗 Adam You mean speed?

44:34🔗 Guest I just need something that I might be able to eat on.

44:37🔗 Guest Jeff, go ahead and do meth, because that'll get you into treatment fast. That will bring you to your knees. That will be a destruction course you won't believe.

44:46🔗 Adam Now, that's really the worst stuff you can do.

44:47🔗 Guest If you were depressed from marijuana, go get treated for your marijuana dependency, and the doctor can treat you for your depression, with medicine that actually works. It actually is designed to treat marijuana-related depression.

44:59🔗 Drew Andy.

45:00🔗 Adam I was like you, Jeff.

45:01🔗 Drew What were your drugs of choice?

45:03🔗 Guest Pot.

45:04🔗 Adam I waked and baked.

45:05🔗 Drew It was all pot?

45:07🔗 Adam Here's how it went. I always tried to manage it for years. When I first smoked pot the very first time, I laughed so hard.

45:18🔗 Guest What did you think of the drug the first time you got high on it?

45:20🔗 Adam I laughed hysterically. It felt like a rubber band was unwinding not only in my head, but my whole body. I laughed for hours. It was such a release that I said, where has this been? Dear Christ in heaven, send me an ounce of this stuff.

45:36🔗 Drew Wow.

45:37🔗 Adam I mean, I loved it.

45:39🔗 Guest And for years.

45:40🔗 Drew Oh, shut up, Drew. Go ahead.

45:42🔗 Guest Every marijuana addict on earth will use the phrase, I loved it.

45:46🔗 Drew Especially when Drew feeds it to him.

45:47🔗 Guest I didn't feed that to him.

45:48🔗 Adam No, no, no, no. And then every time I stopped, whether it was a month and early on when I was in my early 20s, I would even stop for maybe a year.

45:57🔗 Drew Now, how old were you when you first started smoking the weed?

46:00🔗 Adam I was 17 or 18.

46:01🔗 Drew Okay.

46:02🔗 Adam I was a late bloomer, so to speak. And but every time I would start back up again, I would take that first little puff and I'd say, Jesus Christ in heaven, where is this bin? Send me an ounce of this stuff.

46:17🔗 Drew Wow.

46:18🔗 Adam Every time I'd be like, why have I not been smoking this stuff? It's heavenly for me, heavenly. I am elated, I'm walking on clouds, I'm in heaven, I love it.

46:30🔗 Drew Geez, I want to get stoned.

46:32🔗 Adam So here's what happens though.

46:32🔗 Guest But that's what marijuana addicts all describe.

46:34🔗 Adam Here's what happens though.

46:35🔗 Guest Something extraordinary.

46:36🔗 Adam So then I say, okay good, I smoked it, now I'm not gonna do that again. Because I would wake up the next day and I'd be a little bit, a little bit groggy.

46:45🔗 Guest But you'd be thinking about the pot.

46:46🔗 Adam A half a step behind. But I'd be thinking about the pot, I'd be thinking about the next time I was gonna smoke. When's the next time? Is it gonna be tonight? No, I've got something tomorrow. So I would try to put myself on a plan. Let's do it once a week, once a month. Whatever the plan was, the plan was putting myself in a jail. Because no matter, if I said I'm gonna do it every Friday night, let's say every Friday night after we film news radio, I would only, I'd be living for that Friday night. I'd be in jail on earth. I'd be in a prison walking hell on this earth waiting for that day. And when that second came where I was caught.

47:24🔗 Drew What I call prison on earth, getting drunk and banging underage chicks. So be it. But I mean, come on. What?

47:31🔗 Adam What are you talking?

47:31🔗 Drew Come on.

47:32🔗 Adam I never had sex with an underage girl.

47:34🔗 Drew Really?

47:35🔗 Adam Never. You go to jail for that.

47:37🔗 Drew Well, I was just using a little hyperbole.

47:38🔗 Adam You mean underage 19.

47:39🔗 Drew That's what I meant.

47:40🔗 Adam Oh, no.

47:41🔗 Drew All right, now hold on a second.

47:42🔗 Adam But let me just tell you.

47:43🔗 Drew Hold on. I gotta say something because we gotta go to break. But I do want to hear this. Drew, I like Drew in the background because he's like one of the black guys who stands behind Al Sharpton when he makes a speech. Andy goes, Andy goes, I was in prison. In prison. I said I just do it once. We're making deals. But let me explain something that we gotta go to commercial.

48:06🔗 Adam Oh, Christ.

48:08🔗 Drew All right, we're going to go to commercial. Then Reverend Dick will be back with his Dick Disciple after this.

48:50🔗 Drew It's the Love Line. We gotta take a quick ten-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the show in just ten seconds.

49:12🔗 Drew It is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Andy Dick is our guest tonight. Andy, of course, you know, from News Radio all those years and Saturday Night Live.

49:24🔗 Adam No, I wasn't on Saturday Night Live, the Ben Stiller Show.

49:26🔗 Drew What you did do, haven't you done stuff on Saturday Night Live?

49:30🔗 Adam No, no.

49:31🔗 Drew They just make fun of him on Saturday Night Live.

49:33🔗 Guest You've never been on it?

49:34🔗 Adam No, no.

49:34🔗 Guest That's incredible.

49:35🔗 Adam I know. Well, no, they asked me after the Ben Stiller Show, they said, Brillstein Gray was my manager, and they said, Do you want to go that route? And it was a time when the show wasn't doing very well, and I just said, No, I just did a variety type show, and I chose news radio instead.

49:50🔗 Drew Well, maybe that's when I was thinking of that conversation you had with Gray. Andy is here with the Bitches of the Century, that is his band. They're going to do another song this hour. Although when we left off, Andy was speaking about his own personal bout with addiction. He has over seven months sobriety. Drew was yelling at him to get to his fifth step during the commercial and pounding his fist on the table. Andy has not gotten to his fifth step yet, but Andy was speaking about his own bout with addiction, and that's where we left off last. So weed was the initial thing, right?

50:27🔗 Adam Drug of choice. If I was on an island alone, I would choose pot.

50:33🔗 Drew Right.

50:34🔗 Adam To keep me company. Yeah, probably even over another person.

50:38🔗 Drew So you started smoking weed, but you weren't performing on it or anything.

50:42🔗 Adam Me, a really nice bong, me, a really nice bong and the monkeys on the island, I would be happy.

50:51🔗 Drew When did you, now see-

50:52🔗 Adam What did you say? Smoking to perform?

50:54🔗 Drew I've been stoned a few times.

50:55🔗 Adam No, no, no. I didn't smoke to perform. I was describing how it went down. I would smoke after the show, right? Then what would ultimately and always happen, what would happen, what would be that I would say, it's okay if I smoke all weekend because I don't have to be back at work till Monday, whatever. Then I'd say Monday is okay because it's just a rehearsal day. Right. So it would slowly bleed into the week. Tuesday is okay. I can smoke all the way up to the show. Then you know what? This is over a period of months this would happen. Then I'd say, you know what? Show day is okay in the morning. Then it would be to the point where I just needed to smoke just to stay normal, just to be normal.

51:37🔗 Guest What would happen when you were not smoking?

51:39🔗 Adam I would be aggro, depressed, irritable. Irritable, angry, frustrated, depressed. Nothing was fun. I couldn't even go to a movie.

51:50🔗 Guest Then what started happening even though you were smoking?

51:52🔗 Adam Well, then everything became a real walking, living hell, prison on earth. It really was much darker than being sober now is, I'm closer and closer to more of a heavenly type life on earth now, that I didn't think was possible.

52:14🔗 Drew Now, would you get stoned?

52:15🔗 Adam I'm not saying life is heaven because it's just a pain in the butt.

52:18🔗 Drew Would you tape a show stoned?

52:22🔗 Adam We filmed, okay, first of all. We're on with the film. I have probably tried a number of different things. It was five years of a show, so I probably tried being on stage and being in front of cameras. I've experimented with lots of different various drugs and alcohols.

52:40🔗 Drew Because to me, I couldn't imagine getting up in front of a crowd stoned.

52:46🔗 Adam Yeah, but that's how it is with me. When I'm in the middle of my addiction, I can't imagine getting on stage or in front of a group of people without it.

52:57🔗 Drew Right.

52:58🔗 Adam I mean, that's how it gets. That's what it gets to. You are so... You just need it to cope.

53:03🔗 Guest But as I'm hearing you say that you started getting more depressed, the more you used at some point.

53:08🔗 Adam Yeah. It is a downward spiral.

53:10🔗 Drew And then more booze is this one on, or more coke, or what happened?

53:16🔗 Adam No, no, no. There wasn't a lot of cocaine. There really wasn't. Cocaine was the type of drug. I don't still don't I don't never liked it. Never.

53:23🔗 Drew Right.

53:23🔗 Adam Cocaine was the type of drug that if it came, if it was put in front of me late at night after I had been smoking pot all day or drinking at night, here's a little cocaine because I'm starting to get a little drowsy.

53:36🔗 Drew Right.

53:36🔗 Adam So then coke is like, okay, let's stay up for another five to 24 hours, maybe three days.

53:41🔗 Drew So coke wasn't your drug?

53:43🔗 Adam No, no, no. I don't like it. I never did.

53:45🔗 Drew So what about booze?

53:47🔗 Adam Booze would be the type of thing. You know, it was fun to be drunk, but pot, man. Pot changed my chemistry in such a way that I really do miss it to this day.

53:56🔗 Guest And so how about this guy Jeff that wants to switch over to amphetamines to deal with the depressions that marijuana brings on?

54:02🔗 Adam All I know. No, no, no, no. If he likes pot as much as I liked pot and like it. If I smoked it tonight, I would say the same thing. Jesus Christ in heaven, send me an ounce of this stuff. I would say the same thing if I smoked it tonight, but I don't. I've got a kind and loving government watching after my well-being.

54:23🔗 Drew Andy.

54:24🔗 Adam For the next two years.

54:24🔗 Drew Let me give you a suggestion.

54:26🔗 Adam And I get drug tested.

54:27🔗 Drew I am no.

54:27🔗 Adam I thank them. They are my higher power.

54:29🔗 Drew I'm no Gordon Lightfoot, but I know inspiration when I hear it. And I don't know if you have a pot song currently in your arsenal.

54:36🔗 Adam I rack my brain for a pot song every day. Ask the band.

54:39🔗 Drew Well, I know the part about Dear God in heaven, send me some pot. Should be work.

54:43🔗 Adam That's in there.

54:44🔗 Drew That'll be the chorus.

54:45🔗 Adam That'll be in there.

54:48🔗 Drew You really got to...

54:49🔗 Adam Who is that? That's not my band.

54:50🔗 Drew You got to go for what you know is all I'm talking about.

54:52🔗 Adam But the Jeff guy, let me... All I can say is if he likes pot as much as I do, Of course he does. Then Speed, he's going to hate Speed as much as I do.

55:02🔗 Guest They do like... When the marijuana depression start getting so intense, when the people switch to Speed, it relieves that depression.

55:08🔗 Adam Yeah, okay, I can see that.

55:09🔗 Guest And they get focused on the Speed. The Speed brings them down hard, fast.

55:13🔗 Adam That stuff will be... That stuff will floor anybody. Floor them.

55:18🔗 Drew Thank you for your candor now, shut up, please. Well, I've seen people die.

55:21🔗 Adam I've seen people die.

55:22🔗 Drew Shanti?

55:23🔗 Guest Yeah.

55:24🔗 Drew You're 17?

55:25🔗 Guest Yeah.

55:25🔗 Drew What's up?

55:26🔗 Guest I'm sleeping with this guy right now, and I always satisfy him orally, and I cannot get him to return the favor.

55:36🔗 Drew He doesn't even try?

55:38🔗 Guest No, he won't.

55:39🔗 Guest You made it explicit to him that's something you want?

55:41🔗 Yeah, I have.

55:42🔗 Guest I mean, we'll be doing whatever we're doing, and then-

55:46🔗 Adam Is it stinky?

55:48🔗 Guest That's nice.

55:49🔗 Guest No.

55:49🔗 Guest Is it?

55:50🔗 Drew Has he never even attempted it?

55:52🔗 Guest No.

55:53🔗 Guest Asshole. That's not right.

55:54🔗 Drew How old is he? He's 18. Has he attempted it on other women?

55:59🔗 Yeah.

56:00🔗 Drew He has?

56:00🔗 Yes.

56:01🔗 Drew How do you know this?

56:02🔗 Guest Because he slept with one of my good friends.

56:04🔗 Drew And he performed it on her?

56:06🔗 Guest Yes.

56:07🔗 Guest Oh, boy.

56:08🔗 Drew And how long have you two been together?

56:10🔗 Guest Oh, we're not together.

56:12🔗 Drew Oh. I didn't mean to imply that you guys were boyfriend and girlfriend just because you're performing oral sex and sleeping with him.

56:17🔗 Guest Why are you not boyfriend and girlfriend?

56:19🔗 Guest Because he has too many problems and I don't want to deal with it.

56:22🔗 Guest What are his problems?

56:24🔗 Guest He is severely into pot. He's not in school.

56:30🔗 Guest Why are you with a guy like that?

56:33🔗 Guest I'm not dating him.

56:33🔗 I'm just.

56:35🔗 Guest Why is he?

56:35🔗 Guest Why? Why?

56:36🔗 Adam She likes sucking his.

56:38🔗 Guest Just why? She's curious.

56:39🔗 Guest Because he is good.

56:42🔗 Drew He's good what?

56:43🔗 Guest He's good in bed.

56:44🔗 Drew He's good in bed? You mean he holds extra still while you blow him? I'm good in that case.

56:51🔗 Guest You're complaining that he's not responsive. He doesn't do the things you want him to do, even when you are clear and assert yourself.

56:58🔗 Guest Yeah.

56:58🔗 Guest I mean. Why are you with this guy?

57:01🔗 Guest I don't know.

57:02🔗 Drew Hold on a second. So we have the world's most retarded callers of this show. The first thing is this guy, even though I begged him repeatedly, will not satisfy me orally, will not perform oral sex. Although he's not my boyfriend because he's a pod addict, he's a loser, and he's an idiot, he's got a ton of problems. I'm just with him for the sex. My God. I don't know where the logic comes from. You mean he humps like a rabbit?

57:26🔗 Guest Yeah. But that's not adequate.

57:28🔗 Drew Does that satisfy you?

57:30🔗 Guest To a certain extent.

57:32🔗 Guest Why are you with this guy? Thumper.

57:33🔗 Adam My girlfriend calls me Thumper.

57:35🔗 Guest Why are you with this guy?

57:37🔗 Guest Thumper.

57:37🔗 Drew She calls him daddy.

57:38🔗 Guest More information than I need.

57:39🔗 Drew Actually, it's grandpa.

57:41🔗 Adam Jesus.

57:42🔗 Guest Why are you with this guy?

57:43🔗 Adam Not that old.

57:45🔗 Guest I mean, we are good friends. Thumper.

57:49🔗 Adam Thumper.

57:50🔗 Caller All right. Listen.

57:50🔗 Guest Why are you with somebody who-

57:51🔗 Drew Shanti, why don't you get with someone who wants to be with you?

57:56🔗 Guest Yeah.

57:56🔗 Drew Okay. Who you want to be with?

57:59🔗 That would be good if I could find somebody.

58:01🔗 Guest Why are you having trouble finding somebody?

58:05🔗 Guest Guys around this area, I think, are intimidated by me.

58:09🔗 Drew Why is that?

58:10🔗 Guest Well, first of all, I'm very short.

58:13🔗 Drew I see.

58:14🔗 Adam Shall he or Shanti?

58:16🔗 Guest Well, he's short. That's why she's intimidated.

58:18🔗 Drew I see.

58:18🔗 Guest Okay.

58:18🔗 Guest Got that, Adam?

58:20🔗 Guest I'm also very forward with how I feel about certain things. I don't hold anything back.

58:26🔗 Drew Are you a big gal?

58:27🔗 Guest No. No. No.

58:28🔗 Drew I see. So you're short and you speak your mind.

58:31🔗 Guest Yes.

58:32🔗 Drew That's why guys are intimidated?

58:34🔗 Guest Yeah.

58:34🔗 Guest Nope. No.

58:36🔗 Drew Wow.

58:37🔗 Guest You're fat.

58:37🔗 Drew Hey, Shanti. You ever take a speech in debate in high school?

58:44🔗 Guest Actually, when I do get into debates, I get mad and I will leave a classroom upset.

58:52🔗 Guest I see.

58:53🔗 Drew Okay. Hey, Shanti, we have a new policy of under 10 minutes a call, so we're going to move ahead. But there's issues here.

59:00🔗 Guest Yeah.

59:00🔗 Drew Man, there's some issues here with men especially. You got to look into those and stop focusing on this guy and what he's not doing for you. Focus on what's up with you and why it is you can't seem to find what you want in a man. Forget about all this. I'm short and I speak my mind. So that's why men are intimidated.

59:19🔗 Adam Next time you meet a man, just ask yourself, shall he or shan't he?

59:23🔗 Guest And she can't have a discussion without getting angry and leaving the room. Yeah.

59:29🔗 Drew Jason?

59:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:30🔗 Drew You're 15.

59:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:33🔗 Guest I got a question.

59:35🔗 Guest My gay uncle's best friend.

59:38🔗 Caller Well, one day I went over his, one night I went over his house because we were going to get high.

59:44🔗 Guest How old is your uncle? How old is your uncle?

59:47🔗 Guest 32.

59:48🔗 Guest And how old were you when you were doing this?

59:50🔗 Guest Oh, this is a couple weeks ago.

59:51🔗 Guest So you're 18, he's 32.

59:53🔗 Adam No, he's 15.

59:54🔗 Caller I'm 15.

59:55🔗 Guest 15, he's getting you high at 32. There's already like a major, major problem.

59:58🔗 Caller No, it's my uncle's best friend who got me high.

1:00:01🔗 Guest That's nice.

1:00:01🔗 Drew Yeah, he's 36.

1:00:03🔗 Guest That's nice.

1:00:04🔗 Drew Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Go ahead.

1:00:07🔗 Guest Well, anyway, I spent a night there.

1:00:10🔗 Guest That's on the couch.

1:00:11🔗 Drew That's too high. Yeah?

1:00:13🔗 Caller Yeah, I couldn't walk or anything, so I passed out.

1:00:15🔗 Drew Right.

1:00:16🔗 Guest I'm in my boxers and I guess I had an erection or whatever.

1:00:19🔗 Guest And he's gay too. So I guess he thought it was like an open, you know, ball field or whatever.

1:00:26🔗 Guest So he just kind of bent down and started giving me head.

1:00:33🔗 Drew How was that?

1:00:35🔗 Caller When I woke up, it was great.

1:00:37🔗 Drew You liked it?

1:00:38🔗 Guest Yeah, but only for a split second because then I jumped up.

1:00:41🔗 Adam Did you come?

1:00:43🔗 Drew No, he jumped up.

1:00:44🔗 Adam No, he might. You know, sometimes at 15, I could come pretty quick.

1:00:49🔗 Drew And I bet you're no slouch now.

1:00:52🔗 Adam No, it takes me a while. Thumper.

1:00:54🔗 Drew And Jason, so you're not gay.

1:00:57🔗 Guest No.

1:00:57🔗 Drew And this guy did this to you. What did you do when you jumped up?

1:01:01🔗 Guest Oh, I jumped up, pulled my pants on and left. I walked out. I called my brother. He can't pick me up.

1:01:06🔗 Drew All right. Now what do you want to do?

1:01:08🔗 Guest Well, I don't know if I should tell my uncle, because...

1:01:11🔗 Drew I think you should.

1:01:13🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:01:14🔗 Guest Because this guy is like a family friend.

1:01:16🔗 Guest Look, hey, all the more reason...

1:01:17🔗 Drew He's a great guy.

1:01:18🔗 Guest Yeah, all the more reason he needs to be exposed a little bit.

1:01:21🔗 Drew Would you be all right if he didn't show up at the next barbecue?

1:01:24🔗 Guest Well, he came over Thanksgiving and he was flirting with me and touching me.

1:01:28🔗 Drew Okay. Tell your uncle, please.

1:01:31🔗 Guest All right.

1:01:31🔗 Drew Please do. He really needs to be told.

1:01:34🔗 Guest Uncle, tell your dad. Tell your mom.

1:01:35🔗 Drew Let me tell you something.

1:01:36🔗 Adam The other thing, he might be inviting it in some way.

1:01:40🔗 Guest He might be gay, but he's 15. This guy's getting them high.

1:01:43🔗 Drew He's 36.

1:01:44🔗 Guest That's illegal.

1:01:45🔗 Adam It's underage, illegal.

1:01:47🔗 Drew Let me explain what the number one come online for gay men is.

1:01:52🔗 Adam Wait, let me guess what it is. So I would be saying it to you if I'm trying to come on to you.

1:01:58🔗 Guest Yes, right. Can I measure your?

1:02:01🔗 Guest No, give him a realistic one.

1:02:03🔗 Adam Okay, how about, wait, it's something like, is it like, can I give you a massage? Something like that. No, that comes later. Oh, I know. Do you have a girlfriend?

1:02:13🔗 Drew That's not bad either, but here's the number one gay come online. You want to get high? When you're, especially 36 year old guys.

1:02:21🔗 Adam People ask me that all the time.

1:02:22🔗 Drew You ever hitchhike.

1:02:23🔗 Adam They all want me.

1:02:25🔗 Drew And a guy picks you up and says to you, you want to get high? He's gay. He's, you want to get high, translated as and can I blow you in my parent's house? That's what that means. Do you want to get high? It's the number one gay pick up line. All gay men get high by the way. I don't know if you know that.

1:02:44🔗 Adam Do you want to get high? Then I can measure your cock.

1:02:48🔗 Drew Yeah. I think you can't say.

1:02:50🔗 Adam How is your girlfriend?

1:02:51🔗 Drew I don't think you can say that C word there on the air.

1:02:54🔗 Guest Any C words.

1:02:56🔗 Drew There you go. Tracy?

1:02:58🔗 Guest Rod.

1:02:59🔗 Drew You're 16?

1:03:00🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:03:00🔗 Drew What's up?

1:03:02🔗 Guest I have suspicions, and so does my older brother, that my mom is cheating on my dad.

1:03:07🔗 Drew Why?

1:03:09🔗 Guest Because she works for a law firm, right? And a few weeks ago she said, oh, we have this sensitivity training lock-in for two days. And we were like, well, are you going to have your cell phone so we can call you? She goes, oh, no, we're not allowed to be contacted.

1:03:23🔗 Drew Yeah. All right.

1:03:24🔗 Guest There's such a thing.

1:03:25🔗 Caller Anybody else see a problem with that?

1:03:27🔗 Drew What do they do in sensitivity training?

1:03:29🔗 Guest I don't know. She didn't tell us anything about it.

1:03:31🔗 Drew Right. You can't know who and holler in it when the sparklet guy in the tight shorts comes into the office, that kind of stuff. All right. So she went off for sensitivity training and they didn't want her contacted by outside people allegedly.

1:03:46🔗 Guest Right. And my brother's getting married and his wedding coordinator works with my mom. And she said that the meeting never happened.

1:03:56🔗 Guest What meeting?

1:03:56🔗 Drew Oh, the sensitivity meeting.

1:03:59🔗 Guest That's a little suspicious.

1:04:00🔗 Drew Interesting. And any other reason to suspect?

1:04:04🔗 Guest Like she'll get phone calls at like 11, 12, even one in the morning. And she'll go, like we have our family room, our living room cut off by French doors. And she'll go into the living room, she'll close the French doors and she'll sit and she'll talk really quietly. And it's like, why are you doing that?

1:04:19🔗 Drew Okay.

1:04:19🔗 Adam Did she say that it was a seminar to explore the sensitivity of her vagina?

1:04:26🔗 Guest Oh, please.

1:04:28🔗 Adam You can say that.

1:04:29🔗 Guest She was like since her law firm merged, that they were having internal problems, that they needed sensitivity.

1:04:35🔗 Drew I understand. Hey, Tracy.

1:04:37🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:04:38🔗 Drew And what about your dad? Do you think he suspects anything?

1:04:42🔗 Guest No.

1:04:43🔗 Drew No. And what about the fact that-

1:04:45🔗 Adam He's in his own seminar.

1:04:47🔗 Drew Why would this guy call at one in the morning? I mean, call the house. Isn't he scared your dad's going to pick up the phone?

1:04:53🔗 Guest No. My dad's like pretty out there.

1:04:57🔗 Drew What do you mean out there?

1:04:59🔗 Guest Well, I mean like at one in the morning he'll be asleep. And when my dad's sleeping, you can't wake him up, you know?

1:05:06🔗 Drew Right. Is your dad a good guy other than that? Other than the sleeping part?

1:05:11🔗 Guest Bless you. What?

1:05:12🔗 Drew All right. So you suspect she's cheating just based on the phone calls based on the sensitivity training.

1:05:18🔗 Guest Yeah. She's been acting like really strange.

1:05:21🔗 Drew All right. Why don't you, what about this? What if she said, hey mom, next time the phone rings at 1230, what if you pick up the phone?

1:05:28🔗 Guest Well, I've done that.

1:05:29🔗 Drew And what happens?

1:05:30🔗 Guest And it's this guy and he goes, is your mom there? He says I know my mom's name and he goes, and I'm like, who's this? And he goes, oh, this is somebody with a community. I'm like, okay.

1:05:40🔗 Drew With the community?

1:05:41🔗 Guest Yeah, because she works with community affairs.

1:05:44🔗 Drew We got a hazardous waste pickup scheduled for December 29th. We want to contact your mother. We're calling all the neighborhood people.

1:05:52🔗 Adam This is somebody from the vaginal sensitivity training. You like that one.

1:05:58🔗 Drew I'm from the DST.

1:06:00🔗 Guest Hey, Tracy, can you talk to your mom about this?

1:06:02🔗 Adam She likes it.

1:06:03🔗 Guest Well, my brother talked to her and she was like, Oh, I love you guys. That's not even in the question. I would never do that. And she didn't talk to us after that about it. She never even mentioned it.

1:06:15🔗 Drew Okay. Well, why don't you take her word for it and just move on with your life training?

1:06:18🔗 Adam This is Bob from VST, the vaginal sensitivity training, just making sure your mom's vagina is still sensitive. How is she doing? Put her on, please.

1:06:30🔗 Drew See, the sobriety is not hurting Andy at all.

1:06:32🔗 Adam Dr. Drew doesn't like it.

1:06:34🔗 Drew All right. Listen, here's the thing. Do you really want to know if your mom is cheating or not? Do you really want to know? Do you know what I mean?

1:06:42🔗 Guest And what can she do anyway?

1:06:43🔗 Drew And what can you do? And is your mom going to come clean? I don't think so. She's going to come dirty. Listen, at 16, your job is to study for your SATs and go far away to college.

1:06:55🔗 Adam Yeah, let's go away.

1:06:57🔗 Drew Jim?

1:06:58🔗 Guest Jim?

1:07:00🔗 Drew Oh, I'm sorry. I punched him up. Jim?

1:07:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:03🔗 Drew You're 21. What's up?

1:07:04🔗 Caller Well, this year, I was kind of wondering what I was going to dress up for Halloween, and I was flipping through the Entertainment Weekly, and I saw what Andy said, what he had done one year, how he was a man falling out of a building.

1:07:14🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:07:15🔗 Caller And I just want to say what a fantastic outfit that was.

1:07:18🔗 Adam Oh, God bless you.

1:07:19🔗 Caller I got such props from every person who walked by.

1:07:22🔗 Adam Oh, you did it? Yeah, you just moose your hair up. You moose it up, and then you put a...

1:07:27🔗 Caller A clothes hanger through the tie.

1:07:28🔗 Adam A clothes hanger through the tie and let that go up, and that's all you need.

1:07:31🔗 Drew That's all you need.

1:07:32🔗 Adam And they say, what are you? And you say, I'm a man falling out of the building.

1:07:36🔗 Caller Yeah, I just wave my arms around and I just look down and open my mouth. It's great.

1:07:40🔗 Adam Exactly.

1:07:40🔗 Caller And I just want to say, like... It's good... .I think it's a total phallic symbol, you know, with the ties sticking up.

1:07:46🔗 Drew Sure, yeah. They get high. Yeah, oh, they loved it.

1:07:49🔗 Caller But my only problem was, like, when I was walking around, people kept saying, oh, it's really windy.

1:07:53🔗 Adam Oh, well, you just... Yeah, when people started saying other things like that, like, people would say, oh, you're falling out of the building, or you jumped, or they get more specific, or it's windy, just go with it, whatever.

1:08:05🔗 Drew How'd you come up with that, Andy? It's very creative.

1:08:07🔗 Adam I think I stole it from somebody.

1:08:09🔗 Guest Who gives a crap?

1:08:10🔗 Drew All right, and that was how many years ago?

1:08:13🔗 Guest Five.

1:08:16🔗 Adam There he goes! I'm always afraid someone's gonna call up and say, yeah, I slept over at Andy's house, and he molested me.

1:08:27🔗 Drew Yeah, didn't you, don't you?

1:08:28🔗 Guest A number of subjects might be calling. Indeed.

1:08:30🔗 Drew Isn't that part of the stipulation of the out-of-court settlement that they not speak about these things in a public forum?

1:08:38🔗 Guest I don't know.

1:08:38🔗 Drew All right. Drew, what are you doing? Pick a goddamn call. I'm pointing at the goddamn screen. Please. Hurry, hurry. Deciding we're going on a break. Theresa?

1:08:47🔗 Hi.

1:08:48🔗 Drew You swallowed your tongue ring?

1:08:50🔗 Yeah, I think so.

1:08:51🔗 Drew Is it a ring or a stud?

1:08:54🔗 Adam It'll come out your little brown ring.

1:08:57🔗 Guest I swallowed the barbell.

1:08:59🔗 Adam It'll come right out your little brown ring.

1:09:02🔗 I think it's stuck in my chest. I think I can feel it in my chest.

1:09:06🔗 Adam But your chest is not part of your digestive system.

1:09:10🔗 Guest Well, yeah, it is. Your esophagus is in your chest.

1:09:12🔗 Drew Could it be stuck there?

1:09:13🔗 Guest Yeah, it could be.

1:09:14🔗 Adam She breathed it into her lungs?

1:09:15🔗 Guest No, she swallowed it.

1:09:16🔗 Drew Theresa?

1:09:18🔗 I didn't feel myself swallowing it, but I don't know where else it could have went.

1:09:22🔗 Drew How long ago did you do this?

1:09:24🔗 Like two days ago.

1:09:25🔗 Guest Well, you gotta get an x-ray and see if there's anything in there, because if it passes the esophagus, it's gonna pass everything else. But if it doesn't pass the esophagus, they gotta go down with a scope and get it out.

1:09:38🔗 Drew Did you pass this thing? Did you keep track of that? Did you cramp into a spaghetti colander? No. No. I do that anyway.

1:09:48🔗 Guest I know that, but not everybody does that.

1:09:50🔗 Drew For the hell of it. Yeah. So, you don't know if this thing passed through you or not, right?

1:09:55🔗 I'm not sure, but I was eating chocolate and I put a new ring in, so I accidentally bit it and I went in the bathroom and checked in the mirror and it was gone except for one of the balls was still there, but it was missing.

1:10:08🔗 Drew But Teresa, why didn't you check your stool after that? Wouldn't that be something you'd be interested in?

1:10:16🔗 Guest That's kind of gross.

1:10:18🔗 Drew I know, but wouldn't it be something you'd want to check off the list?

1:10:23🔗 Guest Um, I don't know.

1:10:25🔗 Drew You know what I'm saying?

1:10:26🔗 Guest Just the next couple.

1:10:27🔗 Yeah, I know what you're saying.

1:10:29🔗 Drew Yeah, you don't have to do it for the next ten years, just for the next ten dumps.

1:10:31🔗 Guest Just the next couple of months. Not two.

1:10:33🔗 Drew Two. Drew, how long? What about that?

1:10:36🔗 Guest I think about 12 hours you get through.

1:10:38🔗 Drew 12 hours? And might you already have a round in the chamber at that point and wouldn't be involved with the initial shipping?

1:10:45🔗 Guest Probably the second round. What's going on here?

1:10:47🔗 Drew Andy, what do you? I have to pee. Oh, Andy has to pee. All right.

1:10:50🔗 Guest That's what you saw your odds for when you were five. You're still doing it.

1:10:53🔗 Drew Explain the oesophagus thing here, Drew. Your throat, your mouth goes down into what?

1:10:59🔗 Guest Your oesophagus.

1:11:00🔗 Drew Right into the oesophagus. Where is that? Here? Here. In the throat.

1:11:04🔗 Guest In your neck.

1:11:04🔗 Drew In your neck. And how does something get lodged in there?

1:11:09🔗 Guest It has different sort of ways it contracts and pushes.

1:11:12🔗 Drew Andy, your excuse to go to the bathroom.

1:11:14🔗 Adam I'll be right back.

1:11:15🔗 Drew Number two or number one?

1:11:16🔗 Adam Just number one.

1:11:17🔗 Drew Hurry.

1:11:18🔗 Guest I've never seen a grown man behave like that in relation to pain.

1:11:22🔗 Drew Andy's only chronologically a grown man. Emotionally. He's a four year old. All right, now, it gets stuck, it can get stuck in the oesophagus.

1:11:31🔗 Guest It can get wedged.

1:11:32🔗 Drew Wouldn't you feel it in your throat?

1:11:35🔗 Guest If there's a muscle down here where it joins with the stomach, they can hang up, too.

1:11:39🔗 Drew Drew's pointing it up somewhere around his sternum. Wouldn't you feel it if it was hung up in your throat?

1:11:43🔗 Guest In your throat, but it usually hangs up lower down. And what you do is food will start hanging up here. So a few minutes after you swallow, you might feel kind of full and funny. You might even regurgitate a little bit, but it doesn't necessarily cause pain.

1:11:54🔗 Drew What would be the best way to get it down? And what if you drank a lot of water?

1:11:58🔗 Guest No, if it's hung up, it's hung up. They're gonna have to go to the scope. Are you done already?

1:12:01🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm fast.

1:12:02🔗 Drew I can't believe you just want to pee. You did not pee.

1:12:04🔗 Adam I did, I'm fast.

1:12:05🔗 Guest No way.

1:12:06🔗 Drew I did.

1:12:08🔗 Guest You peed your pants.

1:12:08🔗 Drew You peed in a potted plant. You didn't make it to the bathroom.

1:12:11🔗 Adam I ran, I ran.

1:12:12🔗 Drew Okay, well, I'm glad you're back, because now we have to take a breath.

1:12:14🔗 Guest All that dancing around to dribble something out for a second?

1:12:16🔗 Adam It wasn't a lot, but I'm drinking this green tea, and it kind of squeezes my bladder or something.

1:12:21🔗 Drew Okay, we're gonna take a break.

1:12:22🔗 Adam It's like I got a fist around my bladder.

1:12:24🔗 Drew Drew's gonna put a scope up, Andy, and we'll get to the bottom of this.

1:12:26🔗 Guest We're gonna hear a smurf with Bant after this.

1:12:28🔗 Drew That's right. It's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is phoning the hospital. He just got a page. He is a doctor after all, and when the hospital pages, he has to call immediately. I wouldn't, but Drew does.

1:13:25🔗 Adam It's Bob from the Vaginal Sensitivity Training.

1:13:29🔗 Drew Bob Jenkins from VST. All right. Drew, you called the hospital. Everything's OK? You got to call back? How does that work?

1:13:38🔗 Adam He wants to hear my song.

1:13:40🔗 Guest Take a while.

1:13:41🔗 Drew Why do you have to call back?

1:13:42🔗 Guest There's a lot more to be dealt with.

1:13:43🔗 Drew What is a patient of yours? Someone just got admitted. Drugs or age?

1:13:48🔗 Guest Both.

1:13:49🔗 Drew Oh, wow.

1:13:50🔗 Guest Age.

1:13:51🔗 Adam How can you be admitted for age?

1:13:53🔗 Drew Drew.

1:13:53🔗 Adam You're too old. We need to hook you up.

1:13:55🔗 Drew No, Drew has two types of patients. He has elderly patients who get admitted because of, you know, things that happen to elderly people. And then he has junkies. And I'm just curious which one this was.

1:14:08🔗 Adam And this guy is just an old junkie.

1:14:10🔗 Drew Wow. That's a combination. All right. Andy Dick is here again with his fabulous band, the Bitches of the Century. And they have another diddy worked up for us.

1:14:20🔗 Adam This is a simple song. Andrew actually told me once that I drag my feet when I walk. And I said, that's because I'm sick of walking. And then I wrote a song about it.

1:14:31🔗 Drew And it's called?

1:14:34🔗 Adam Oh, it's called Stephen Hawking.

1:14:36🔗 Drew Right.

1:14:37🔗 Adam Which is the only thing I could think of that rhymes with walking. You know, he's the guy in the wheelchair. That's a big genius. Here we go. Isn't that a sweet one? This week, I messed up the big main line.

1:18:08🔗 Drew No, I think that's great. And F that Chris Catan.

1:18:12🔗 Adam F him.

1:18:13🔗 Drew Yeah, that was wonderful. It was moving, pardon the pun.

1:18:17🔗 Adam You can get that on andydick.com. And we have to talk about the V Greetings, remember?

1:18:21🔗 Drew Yes.

1:18:22🔗 Adam Oh, and I forgot to tell you that the person that gives the most V Greetings to a friend wins $5,000. Did I tell you that part?

1:18:29🔗 Guest No.

1:18:29🔗 Drew It's all going to therapy. What, Andy, how do you get that?

1:18:34🔗 Adam I don't get that.

1:18:35🔗 Drew How do you get that when you tune in to the andydick.com? How do you get that song?

1:18:41🔗 Adam You go to the Andy Dick and the Bitches of the Century page on there. It's under Music, My Band. Then you'll see the Bitches of the Century page. Then in there you go to Music, and then you'll see a list of about 10. We have about 30 songs. We have about 10 listed, and that one's called Stephen Hawking. We have that full song on there in a rough version.

1:19:05🔗 Drew Right. Would you just listen to it? Can you download it?

1:19:10🔗 Adam You can just, right when you press on it, it starts playing.

1:19:12🔗 Drew When's the CD coming out?

1:19:15🔗 Guest I don't know.

1:19:15🔗 Drew You don't know?

1:19:16🔗 Guest You know, we're playing at Luna Park.

1:19:18🔗 Adam Luna Park on the 16th of January. Is that what it is? It's a Sunday. It's a Sunday night on the 5th of February. And also Jello Biafra from the Dead Kennedys. He wants to produce one of our albums. Oh really?

1:19:31🔗 Drew Which one?

1:19:32🔗 Adam The first one? Well, the first one, we already have producers, so I think the second one. And also I'm trying to get Rick Rubin. I just ran into him last night. I'm trying to get him. I mean, he's a big, you know.

1:19:41🔗 Drew Right.

1:19:42🔗 Adam He's number one, but.

1:19:43🔗 Drew I don't know. I think there's something here, though.

1:19:45🔗 Adam I do too. And Moby, I know Moby. And he wants to maybe like mix up one of our songs and put a little Moby spin on it.

1:19:53🔗 Drew I like it.

1:19:53🔗 Adam People like it.

1:19:54🔗 Drew I want to also give a plug to Andrew Sherman, who's one of the Bitches of the Century, who has a CD that's out. It's called Vehicle.

1:20:02🔗 Adam One of my bands.

1:20:03🔗 Drew Oh, the Andrew Sherman vehicle, by the way. Yeah, someone in your band has a CD out before the band.

1:20:08🔗 Adam Because I'm a perfectionist. We did a whole CD, but I just, it's not ready. I want to remix a few things. It's just, I'm a perfectionist.

1:20:16🔗 Drew I understand.

1:20:16🔗 Guest I'm not. Here's my CD.

1:20:18🔗 Drew There you go. Julia?

1:20:20🔗 Yeah?

1:20:20🔗 Drew You're 14? You're a 36D?

1:20:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:24🔗 Drew All right. Guys in the band are into that.

1:20:27🔗 Guest Nice rack.

1:20:29🔗 Drew You're 14 and you're wondering how guys are going to treat you?

1:20:33🔗 Caller Yeah. Because, well, he's not really my boyfriend right now, but we'll be scamming with each other. And it just seems like he keeps telling me that he likes this other girl and that he's going to go out with her. And it just seems like he's just using me because of my size.

1:20:50🔗 Drew How is, what kind of ploy is telling you he's interested in somebody else while he's trying to get up your top?

1:20:59🔗 Caller I don't, well, I mean, I smoke butt with him and everything, but still, he just, well, he was a friend from the start. He's still my friend and everything. And we talk to each other.

1:21:11🔗 Drew How old is he?

1:21:12🔗 Caller Sixteen.

1:21:13🔗 Drew He's not a friend. You're fourteen. Yeah. It's a big two years, that sixteen to fourteen. You're in the ninth grade or?

1:21:20🔗 Caller Well, he's in tenth grade.

1:21:22🔗 Drew And you're in the ninth grade?

1:21:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:24🔗 Drew And what are you doing? You're just screwing around, just making out with him?

1:21:28🔗 Caller Well, yeah, kind of.

1:21:30🔗 Drew And you like him?

1:21:31🔗 Caller Well, a little bit. And he knows, like, the guy I like and everything.

1:21:35🔗 Drew He knows the guy you like?

1:21:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:37🔗 Drew So there's another guy you like?

1:21:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:39🔗 Drew And does he like you?

1:21:41🔗 Caller Well, I told him and I'm not really sure. He said it was alright that I liked him and everything. And he's taking me to this big game.

1:21:50🔗 Drew Okay. So the guy you like might not like you?

1:21:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:54🔗 Drew And this other guy you're just friends with and he tells you about who he's got his sights on while he's trying to undo your bra?

1:22:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:02🔗 Drew Okay. So why don't you stop whatever you're doing with the guy who's telling you who he wants to be with?

1:22:10🔗 Guest Right.

1:22:11🔗 Drew And just sort of find a new guy altogether. Thank you.

1:22:17🔗 Guest Do that again. Isn't that cool?

1:22:18🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:22:18🔗 Adam This is one of the instruments I play.

1:22:19🔗 Drew Let me take my headphones off. That's great. Let me.

1:22:25🔗 Adam I was the guy on this thing, by the way.

1:22:28🔗 Drew Yeah. Drew was on it for a couple of beats too. Yeah.

1:22:31🔗 Adam You messed it up.

1:22:31🔗 Drew Hey, Drew, let me explain band and musician etiquette for just one second. I'm not in a band myself, but I do know this. When they're in the middle of a song, it's considered in poor taste to grab an instrument out of one of the guy's hands and sort of examine it and check it over and then shove it back to him. Sort of, sort of willy nilly. I was nervous. I thought maybe Andy needs the doey oey oey thing.

1:23:00🔗 Adam I did.

1:23:01🔗 Drew Drew, you don't grab a man's instrument while he's playing.

1:23:07🔗 Guest Where did you get all these instruments?

1:23:10🔗 Adam I bought them at Sam and Joel.

1:23:11🔗 Drew I like this song. Don't get in the way. Here we go.

1:24:39🔗 Adam Okay, just stop it. They can get the rest on the website.

1:24:42🔗 Guest I am.

1:24:42🔗 Drew I missed the part. You know, Andy and the Bitches are really moving up, because when I first heard that song, it was, he didn't have the kabong at that point.

1:24:57🔗 Guest And I didn't have this thing. No.

1:25:00🔗 Adam Look at how good they're trained. When I go, they just start.

1:25:04🔗 Guest The Pavlov spell.

1:25:06🔗 Drew Yeah, it's great. Well, it's feeding time.

1:25:08🔗 Guest Don't call us the Bitches for nothing.

1:25:09🔗 Drew All right. We're going to take a little break. The wonderful Andy Dick is our guest tonight, and we'll be back with your calls after this.

1:25:21🔗 Guest Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:25:50🔗 Drew It is Loveline. Our guest tonight is Andy Dick. Phone number, 1-800-LLVE-191, and it's back to the phones. We go. Matthew.

1:26:01🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:26:01🔗 Drew You're 28. What's up?

1:26:05🔗 Guest Hey, Adam Drew. How's it going? Good. I wanted to talk to Andy for a moment.

1:26:09🔗 Adam Oh, I'm right here.

1:26:10🔗 Guest Hi.

1:26:11🔗 Adam andydick.com. I have to say that for you.

1:26:15🔗 Guest News radio is incredibly great.

1:26:16🔗 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:26:17🔗 Adam More people are watching it now than they did in the first five years.

1:26:20🔗 Guest Comes on right after this show in syndication here where I am.

1:26:23🔗 Guest Uh-huh.

1:26:23🔗 Guest And so, the House of the Lawyers comes to a dead stop at that moment. The House? Well, for a half an hour.

1:26:31🔗 Guest The House?

1:26:32🔗 Adam Oh, family, fraternity, what?

1:26:34🔗 Guest Housemates.

1:26:35🔗 Drew I see. They all watch news radio.

1:26:37🔗 Guest Yes, we all gather around. So, I was wondering if the band is going to be-

1:26:41🔗 Guest Is it a gay house?

1:26:42🔗 Guest No. Okay. Good. I was wondering if the band is going to be touring at all?

1:26:49🔗 Adam When we go on tour, I make a nice assload of cash. But, well, you know, the last time we went on tour, I was drinking. And I ran into some trouble. I almost got put in jail in Jacksonville. Just like, I think, Puff Daddy or Jim Morrison or Marilyn Manson. No, I did, because I like, not only did I show my butt, but I wiped my butt down the pants legs of an audience member.

1:27:21🔗 Drew With, now, when you go on tour, did you go on tour with the Bitches last time?

1:27:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:27:26🔗 Drew And how does the show work? Do you do some stand up and some singing? Or is it just all music?

1:27:32🔗 Adam There is some talking, but we just did one at Luna Park on Sunday, two weeks ago. And what it is, is it's kind of like a, it's kind of like an alternative poppy rock opera, where there's a little bit of talking, but it's my whole life put to music, and so there's not much need for talking.

1:27:52🔗 Drew I see.

1:27:52🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

1:27:53🔗 Drew And any plans of going on another tour?

1:27:56🔗 Adam Yeah, we're, actually, I'm in the process of getting a little theater space through loadtv.com, where you can find my V greetings. They're gonna, that's the other thing they're gonna possibly help me out with, is get me a little theater space to work out some shows that I can put on their loadtv.com, put on andydick.com, and that's where I'm gonna have my show weekly. I'd like to have, it used to be called Andy Dick's Circus of Freaks, now I'm thinking it's just like the Big Dick Show, something like that, or whatever, but I want to have it weekly where people can just come and a very small, intimate atmosphere, because I was playing for thousands, and it wasn't working, because they were, it's just like Man on the Moon, I saw Man on the Moon, and it was just like that, where people are screaming, where, we want to see Matthew! And I'm like, well, he ain't here, okay, I put him to sleep.

1:28:44🔗 Drew Where are you calling from, Matthew?

1:28:47🔗 Guest Portland.

1:28:47🔗 Drew Portland.

1:28:48🔗 Adam Alright, so. Let me ask Matthew here on the phone, if I would come to Portland, Oregon, you would expect me to be sitting on a stool, telling funny little anecdotes about the goings on of news radio during the years we were filming, right? And then sing a couple of funny little songs, right?

1:29:04🔗 Guest Oh, sure.

1:29:05🔗 Adam But that's not what it is. It would be me talking, getting very deep. There's a song about...

1:29:10🔗 Drew You set him up for that, though. Come on.

1:29:12🔗 Guest Well, I know.

1:29:13🔗 Adam But there's a song in our show called Secret Garden that's about all my friends who have died or been killed or killed themselves. And it's very... I cry when I sing it.

1:29:22🔗 Guest It's just sad.

1:29:23🔗 Drew What happened with that guy from News Radio? I mean from...

1:29:27🔗 Adam See, I'd rather sing a song about it.

1:29:29🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:29🔗 Adam But what I mean...

1:29:30🔗 Drew All right. What the hell? Suddenly, Susan. It was bad.

1:29:33🔗 Adam David Strickland.

1:29:34🔗 Drew Yeah. He was on this show about two or three days before he committed suicide in Las Vegas. Two days. Two days.

1:29:42🔗 Adam I didn't know that.

1:29:43🔗 Drew But I haven't never talked to you about that. I'm sure everyone else has. But what happened?

1:29:47🔗 Adam No, I don't really talk about it. Like I said, I'd prefer... I'd prefer...

1:29:51🔗 Guest Was that another addiction related death?

1:29:53🔗 Adam Oh, of course. I mean, to me, they all are. I don't know of one that isn't.

1:29:59🔗 Guest And then...

1:29:59🔗 Drew Was he sober and then went off? Or was he always addicted?

1:30:02🔗 Adam Look, first of all, that was the first time I had hung out with him.

1:30:05🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:30:06🔗 Adam I picked a bad weekend.

1:30:07🔗 Drew Wow.

1:30:08🔗 Adam I don't like... I don't know if I'll ever go to Vegas again. I have a bad taste in my mouth about that.

1:30:14🔗 Guest You guys were using together that weekend?

1:30:16🔗 Adam Well, I was smoking pot, drinking a lot, and looking actively. I admit I was looking to find some coke that evening, but we never found that. But other drugs were found that I was never into, never even tried.

1:30:35🔗 Guest That he was using?

1:30:36🔗 Adam That he found, he knew where to find. I really loved that guy, first of all. I was very excited that this guy was a new friend, and we were both excited about each other's company, and we were both struggling with sobriety, then we were both not sober at the same time. We were sober at the same time, we were not sober. So this is just a time when we were, I met him on the set of news radio when he was sober, and then we were both, like I said, just not sober at this time. He said, let's go to Vegas, and I was like a puppy following him, like cool. I looked up to him, I thought he was cool. It was like hanging out with the boys, and I went to Vegas with him, and then one thing led to another, and he hung himself.

1:31:22🔗 Guest And then you lost...

1:31:25🔗 Adam No, Phil was the summer before.

1:31:26🔗 Drew Were you guys just hanging out and partying, and then he went back to his room, and you went back to your room, and you called it a night, and then he hung himself?

1:31:34🔗 Adam Basically. We had a room together, but he left in the middle of the night, and walked, I think, a couple miles. I had passed out because I was, like I said, just drinking and smoking pot. So I just passed out, and then woke up at noon to a knock at the door, and it was the police. And they just kept saying, your friend's in a lot of trouble, your friend's in a lot of trouble. And I'm like, I just kept thinking that he ran through the streets of Vegas naked or something. I'm like, well, what did he do?

1:32:05🔗 Drew He went to another room and committed suicide?

1:32:07🔗 Adam He went two miles or so down the street and checked into a whole other hotel.

1:32:12🔗 Drew Wow.

1:32:12🔗 Guest Is this what contributed your sobriety? Did this wake you up?

1:32:15🔗 Adam No, no, no. It made me go nuts. I'm definitely not over it. This is probably the most I've ever talked about it for sure. Right now, with my therapist, I'll talk about it, but in public like this, I don't talk about it. And he, but yeah, it's no good. But it made me get deeper into drugs. Nothing makes a person, but I went deeper. I did not stop, I did not stop. And then I crashed my car.

1:32:46🔗 Guest Was he discussing or complaining about being depressed?

1:32:49🔗 Adam No, he, you know, the drugs that, I didn't know that he had a court case. There was a lot I didn't know about him. I didn't know that he was on medication. I didn't know he had a court case on Monday. I didn't know that he was not doing very well. Him and his girlfriend weren't doing well. He was putting on a little bit of a front with me and we were having a really good time. But then the drugs that he was doing, I saw the drugs affect his mood. To me, the drugs were affecting his mood and he seemed to be getting depressed.

1:33:21🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:33:22🔗 Adam And that's what those-

1:33:24🔗 Guest People can get acutely suicidal just from alcohol.

1:33:26🔗 Drew So Drew, in your professional opinion, was that suicide pure drugs? I mean, obviously he was depressed. Obviously, he had other issues.

1:33:34🔗 Guest It's always difficult to know how much of that is motivated by an acute psychotic reaction.

1:33:39🔗 Adam The guy was like Chris Farley. He was a happy, beautiful, caring, wonderful, generous person.

1:33:46🔗 Guest Yeah, but sometimes that can go dark real fast. And if he had a history of acute, depressive reactions to substances, then it could have been just that.

1:33:53🔗 Drew All right, we're going to wind up this segment. We'll come back and we'll hear one more ditty from Andy. Now that we've set the mood, one more little short ditty from Andy, Andy and the Bitches of the Century after this.

1:34:11🔗 Guest We'll be right back with more.

1:34:13🔗 Adam Loveline.

1:34:41🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. All right, before we leave, one more from Andy and the Bitches of the Century.

1:34:47🔗 Guest Andydick.com There you go.

1:34:48🔗 Adam DrDrew.com DrDrew.com This is another rebuttal. DrDrew.com Thank you.

1:34:53🔗 Drew LowDTV.com Man Show.

1:35:37🔗 Adam I have a hard enough time trying to keep my own hands clean. but I don't have time for her. I'd and rather keep that door shut. Because I'm waving my white surrender snot rag, calling a truce with myself. Simpsons, South Park and Simpsons, they took me down. But I've already been a cartoon man, crustier than that nasty clown. They love to kick a man when he's down.

1:36:54🔗 Guest Mm-hmm.

1:36:55🔗 Adam It takes a little more to do me than a wig on the head. Martin falls short, and Saturday night is dead. I like my impression of me instead.

1:37:09🔗 Guest Well, that's pretty much it.

1:37:26🔗 Adam That's my Charlton Heston. Is that okay?

1:37:28🔗 Drew Solid. That's about it.

1:37:33🔗 Adam Wait, I can keep going.

1:37:34🔗 Drew No. That was beautiful. Mahalo. Everyone, Bitches of the Century. Thank you very much. Andy Dick. Thank you. anytime..com. There you go. Thanks a lot, guys. That sounded great. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew. Saying mahalo.

1:37:50🔗 Adam Jesus Christ in heaven. Where is this bin? Send me an ounce of this stuff.

1:37:57🔗 Drew Well now.

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