4:26🔗
Adam
That is Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. It's Loveline. Dr. Drew's a board certified physician. Adam, an addiction medicine specialist, and why do I sound strange on this mic?
4:54🔗
Drew
Hey, I mean, we could each be on each other's mics. That would be different. It's possible, see? That's what I was asking.
5:10🔗
Yeah, the ones that you usually use just weren't working tonight. Oh, OK. That's pretty clear logic.
5:16🔗
Adam
This is going to take a little getting used to. I'm going to have to try to figure this out.
5:21🔗
Adam
Let me talk into your mic for a second. Let me see how that is. Let's see, should I talk masturbatory junk? Yeah, that's weird.
5:34🔗
Drew
I got to tell you. Oh, my God. You know, I got to share with you, Adam is an awful cold and he was, we sat side by side through how many hours of television today. Well, Adam tried not to hock up a loogie.
5:47🔗
Drew
Tonight, I'm sure Dazzle has a few performances, but I gave you some decongestant history. I thought to myself, oh man, is this going to make his thinking off? Is this going to make him weird?
5:55🔗
Adam
Did it? Drew, I don't know if you know this about me, but stuff does not really affect me. Vicodin washed down with red wine, nothing. Nothing. The sleeping pills, nothing. Nothing. Stuff does not affect me. I wish it did. God damn, I wish it did. I really do. I'm jealous of those people who say, oh yeah, one shot of Nyquil, I don't even know where I am. I mean, I'll pass out there and drop the Nyquil bottle out of my hand and just hit my head on the floor. They think that's some sort of liability. For me, I'm envious. I'm like, Jesus Christ, you spend five bucks, you take a shot of Nyquil, you're out for the night? Anderson, do we have any other mics? This don't sound right.
6:56🔗
Yes.
7:04🔗
I'm having a problem. I'm 24 years old and my husband is 33 years old. I got married when I was 21.
7:12🔗
The problem is we don't have a lot in common.
7:15🔗
I also work in a nightclub. I'm very attractive and at this nightclub I get picked up a lot by a lot of different kinds of guys. I really didn't have a chance to date around much, I'd say. Why?
7:28🔗
I don't know. I guess I just met him. I had dates and stuff but nothing serious. He was my first serious boyfriend.
7:38🔗
Kind of through friends.
7:41🔗
33.
7:42🔗
No.
7:47🔗
Yeah.
7:50🔗
Kind of, yeah.
7:53🔗
I don't know. I mean he doesn't seem like he's happy either but I think that he's trying to keep it together.
8:02🔗
Adam
Well, I don't know. How do you talk to someone who got married very young, they've been married for three years, they don't have any kids and they're saying, hey, you know what, it ain't out of my system.
8:20🔗
Right.
8:23🔗
Right.
8:25🔗
Drew
So it's interesting. I've never really thought about this as clearly, but you and I have a clear issue about commitment in that the commitment really must be honored if there's somebody else involved like a kid.
8:36🔗
Adam
Well, if you look at it, if you take it from the approach that there's no by-product of the marriage, it's just me and it's you.
8:44🔗
Adam
We agree that, hey, I'm getting a little tired of you and maybe you're a little tired of me, and there's this chick I want to see and there's this guy you want to see. All right. Well, no harm. I mean, you're both happy. Fine. No one's hurt.
8:56🔗
Drew
You're kind of right. I mean, there is the whole issue of how easy it is for people to do that and the whole issue of commitment and trying to struggle through relationships and whatnot. But if they were too young and the relationship wasn't quite right anyway, and there were other issues here, so.
9:14🔗
Caller
Well, this question is something I've been too embarrassed to ask my doctor about. I am stopped from having an orgasm by the urge to go to the bathroom, the urge to pee, really overwhelming.
9:36🔗
Drew
And I don't know of any treatment for that. It's interesting. There are medications that are designed to hold urine in, like Dittropan and Detrol, these things that help women with incontinence. I've never heard of it being used for orgasmic incontinence, but I suppose they could. Generally though, this is the kind of thing that is just something you do. It's just you. And a guy is not going to be particularly, as long as he sort of has a good warning about it.
10:06🔗
But I don't know.
10:08🔗
Caller
I'm not sure. I see also, even though I'm 25, orgasms are something that's new to me, I think. I thought, when I was younger, I thought I was having them, but I recently discovered I don't think I was. And so I don't know. It's just an odd thing.
10:25🔗
It's just a thing that you've never heard.
10:31🔗
Caller
Yes. Well, I mean, it sounds like that you've never really heard of anything like that, like you said.
10:35🔗
Drew
Wait a minute. I just went through a whole thing. I told you it has a name. We hear about it all the time. Oh, okay, okay, okay. And what I had not heard about was some of the medications we use for incontinence, whether those possibly would be effective here. But it's necessarily irrelevant because guys aren't really bothered by this.
10:55🔗
Adam
I don't want to give you a complex, but I don't want to get whizzed on every time I give someone an orgasm.
11:04🔗
Yeah.
11:07🔗
Oh.
11:13🔗
Adam
Pick up an extra couple of bucks. What... you got to get in a position that's sort of non-offensive.
11:27🔗
Adam
But I think I could work with doggy. We'll put one of those garage pans under you. Like, you know, when dad's... Dad drives like a 66 Futura and the transmission's leaking. And mom's raising a piss about it because it's ruining the garage floor.
11:44🔗
Adam
I just made that up. Kind of English, isn't it? So you put the pan right under the bed there, right on top. All right, Rusty, why don't you come clean with your husband?
12:03🔗
Drew
What's he gonna do, leave you? What are the grounds to divorce her? Wife keeps peeing on me.
12:17🔗
Adam
I don't know. I don't know what the tone is. I don't know what the quality is. It's improved. It's bothering me.
12:33🔗
It's the same mics.
12:36🔗
Sugar got in it, I think, from Bruce.
12:45🔗
Adam
Let me try plugging it back into my jack. All right, keep talking there, Drew. Is this my jack here?
12:53🔗
Adam
When are these Westwood Two people going to get off their fat asses and redo this goddamn console? It's pathetic. It's embarrassing. Did they listen to this show? There's something going wrong every night. God, I mean, it's humiliating. Aren't they embarrassed? Where's their dignity? Do they want me bitching about them on a nightly basis? They got to sink a hundred bucks into something once a year. This console's been a piece of ass since I got here. It needs to be redone. They're not going to do that? What the hell's wrong with those people? It's zero dignity. Just zero. Maybe they like it. Maybe they're sadists or something. What the F is wrong with those idiots? God damn. I'm telling you, everybody, invest your money in Westwood One. You get every penny back. They will not put a penny into anything here.
13:51🔗
Caller
I'm better. The first year, both of us are very sexual, and the first year was fine. But after that, the stereotypical married couple type thing, it drifts off, the woman loses her libido, and that's basically exactly what's happening.
14:15🔗
Caller
Well, it's not stereotypical. It's just you hear it on the radio, and that's just the radio, but no.
14:30🔗
Adam
Oh, boy. Forget about the media. Hey, Allison, most women get hornier as they get older. As the years wear on, so I don't know what you're talking about.
14:48🔗
Your boyfriend.
15:12🔗
Caller
But, I mean, it's been a while and they've changed my medicine and I'm not really on the medicine anymore. And so I don't think it's been carried over for like...
15:50🔗
Hmm.
15:51🔗
It's just that I...
16:20🔗
Caller
Yes, I do. And it just seems a little overbearing, but you know, that's just my perspective. That's my...
16:26🔗
Drew
Allison, there's a reason your libido is dropping off. Either it's some depressed phase or manic depression or a gut or something related to medication or some residual effect or something with the relationship. That's where you gotta look. It's nothing to do with things drifting off magically.
16:40🔗
Adam
Let me float one of my common theories here. Folks, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, committed people, people love their partners, go ahead and put out every once in a while when you're not in the mood. It ain't the end of the world. You know what I'm saying?
16:58🔗
Men and women.
16:59🔗
Adam
Hey, once in a while a guy's tired, the woman's horny, go ahead and put out. You know what I'm saying? You're not raping anybody. You're not stealing anyone's innocence. You're with this person. You've been with them. You've had sex many a time. Some of it's going to be better. Maybe this ain't going to be the best time. But your partner's a little worked up.
17:18🔗
Go ahead and put out.
17:27🔗
Adam
What do you got to do? Just be there. Just hold still. If the guy a little oral sex, he gives you a little oral sex, you have a little sex, that's it. You watch TV. You don't always, you know, doesn't have, you don't have to follow a trail of rose petals to the tub with the candles around it every night. You're depressed. Your husband's getting pissed off. Your boyfriend's getting pissed off. Just hold still. That's what I'm saying. Why does everything have to be so optimal all the time? And why is it such a, oh, it's such an attack when you say it that way. Oh, it's so humiliating. You've boffed this person 1500 times already. Now you've got a few beers in you and you're extra horny tonight. They're feeling a little tired. Hey, hold still. That's all. That's fine. Think of all the other junk you do that you don't really want to do for your mate. This is just one more thing. You don't have to do it every night. Maybe there'll be a time next week when you're in the mood and he's not. And then he can hold still.
18:24🔗
Yeah.
18:31🔗
But it was me and my girlfriend.
18:36🔗
And we've been together for a while.
18:41🔗
Did I?
18:45🔗
OK.
18:46🔗
I'll try not to touch them anymore.
18:48🔗
Caller
Well, actually, to start off, we were pulling around and stuff. We've been together for like a month, OK? And we started pulling around and then she, um, oh, man, or anyhow.
19:09🔗
Adam
No, I didn't mean to hang up. Did you? You told him to turn the radio down. Yeah, he's stoned. I mean, that's fine. He snoozed you loose. Chris?
19:18🔗
Yeah.
19:22🔗
How you doing, Dr. Drew?
19:26🔗
I have a problem. Since I've, I don't know, since things are getting older, I can't seem to get laid like I used to.
19:41🔗
I know, right?
19:44🔗
I don't know. I mean, I don't understand if it's, I might, I don't know. It's just like, is this normal? I mean, do you go to like a certain point where just like, you know.
19:56🔗
Adam
Some guys get laid more as they get older. Some guys get laid less. And it sort of depends what your station is.
20:07🔗
Adam
Yeah, sure. You're on the football team. You're popular in high school or whatever it is. And that's why you got laid.
20:21🔗
I work for pharmaceutical.
20:36🔗
Adam
I'll tell you, that slows women down. That husky thing? That'll slow them down. Well, you know, you're always talking about women getting chunky. Guys get chunky. They don't get laid either.
21:19🔗
Adam
All right. I'm going to go with 40. But listen, do they give you a mace container or do they give you a gun?
21:31🔗
Adam
You got to lose that spare tire around your gut. And you got to shave that bad moustache off. It's not becoming.
21:39🔗
Adam
Good. You're overweight. Thank God you shaved that thing off. You did have a moustache, didn't you?
22:06🔗
Caller
I mean, we just, you know, whatever. I was going out with my girlfriend at the time, but before that, it was just nothing. I'd go out, you know, whatever, and just hook up, and that's it. Sometimes it would be the same night.
22:20🔗
All right.
22:20🔗
Caller
I mean, just tonight, I went out, and I mean, my standards are going low now, because I'm like, you know, and desperate, and nothing happened.
22:29🔗
All right.
22:34🔗
Adam
Yeah, I think you'll be back in 2000. Listen, lose that extra weight, and get out there and make the scene. I don't know what to say. Women, there's a certain point, when you get a little bit older, where women don't buy, they don't buy the wrap anymore. You have to actually have credentials. You know what I'm saying?
23:00🔗
Adam
Yeah. I mean, Drew, tell me if you can identify with this at all. But there's a point with guys from like maybe high school, you know, senior in high school, like 18, to like 25, 26, where everyone's open to everyone.
23:15🔗
Adam
I mean, if you're a guy and you're 22 and you got a good wrap, you could live on the beach. You could drive a VW Squareback that's worth 400 bucks. Still meet plenty of chicks. And good-looking ones and whatever. College chicks, business, whatever. You can do it.
23:33🔗
Adam
As you start to get a little bit older, you got to be kind of doing a little something in order to really bag the big game. Right?
23:42🔗
Adam
And I think Chris is getting a little bit older. And he needs to kind of work a little less on his wrap and a little more on his game.
23:50🔗
Adam
Right. That's what it is. Listen, guys, I swear I'm right about this. Forget about your wrap. Forget about talking women in anything. Just every second that you dedicate. This is an interesting concept. Every second that you dedicate to your work or your career, school, education, whatever, all this sort of extraneous stuff, the gym, the Catholic Big Brother program, whatever it is. Every second you invest in that is like a second invested in picking up chicks because it becomes part of your overall picture. Now, the guys who sit home, The rap sheet. Yeah, the guys who hang out on their sofa and try to come up with a good rap to pick up women, that starts to wear out and it doesn't work after a while. So it's win-win. You invest time in your career, whatever, you make money and you get the chicks. That's what we should all do.
25:03🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, my dad just actually just remarried, and this is like probably about a month ago. I've been seeing Sean for about a year now, and I'm having a rough time because he seems finally happy in that, but I like...
25:19🔗
Caller
Well, it's not me. I'll be like... She's always flirting with me and that kind of stuff. I'll be up in my room and watching TV or whatever, and she'll come in and I'll act like I'm asleep and stuff, but she totally comes in, starts touching me. I don't know what to do. I'm like, my dad, he seems happy, and I don't want to break his heart.
25:40🔗
Caller
She's like, she'll start touching me and stuff. I pretend like I'm asleep because I'm embarrassed. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be kicked out of my house.
25:56🔗
Drew
So what we finally did, that was stand up to the woman. Remember? He said, they cut this crap out or I'm going to tell my dad.
26:04🔗
Adam
Why don't you just kind of tell her, hey, this is out of line? You don't have to say much.
26:15🔗
Caller
Well, I don't... But, I mean, if I say anything to him, what if I get kicked out and stuff?
26:27🔗
Adam
I always get this feeling with young guys when there's a woman coming on to them, they kind of want to share it with everyone.
26:32🔗
Adam
And they want to make it into more than it is. And it's a way, sometimes girls do this too, where you get the feeling if it's something they really wanted to get rid of.
26:43🔗
Adam
No problem. If it was some video that they wanted, if it was something that they wanted to watch, something that they want to do, some concert they wanted tickets to, you get the feeling they could take care of it. She comes in, she starts rubbing your leg. You look at her and say, hey, this ain't gonna fly. Knock it off. And then that's the only thing you say. It's done. I guarantee it's not gonna happen again. I kind of think there's a sort of intrigue, not that he's into her, but that he's making it into more than it is. You remember when you were 18 and there's some drunken screwball chick at some party or something, it was like going after you and stuff, and in a way you were pissed off about it, but another way you want to tell your buddies and make a little, draw a little tension to yourself. I think that's what's going on with Sean. Sean didn't have to get his dad involved with this. Just tell her, knock it off. She'll stop, especially if you say, listen, do it again, I tell dad. She's done. That's it. Okay, we're out. It is the Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-M-V-E-1-9-1. Wow, it's hard to talk with that yubbo yubbo yubbo in the background. Went to the big launch party for the drdrew.com, which is over at the Sky Bar.
28:19🔗
Adam
Oh, nice, ten bucks for valet parking over there. Jesus Christ, ten bucks. Anyway, good party, a lot of folks, very fashionable, lots of beautiful people, and I gotta tell you, I just don't like people.
28:38🔗
Drew
I noticed that in my interview while I was talking about how I wanted to create connections with people and develop the sub-tite, and he goes, no, no, I want to disconnect. I don't want to be here.
28:46🔗
Adam
No, I'll tell you, to me, there's just nothing worse than, well, people are intrusive too. People like grab on your hand and go, you gotta come say hi to a friend of mine, and I go, listen, I barely like you, I'm thinking. I don't even like you, I'm thinking to myself. Come on, come on, you gotta say hi to a friend of mine, and I'm thinking, I don't remember your name, I don't really like you, and I'm leaving, and I'm talking to somebody else, and they'll just start yanking on your arm.
29:12🔗
Adam
This whole quasi-celebrity thing, Drew, is really, it's not panning out at all. It isn't, I couldn't make it five feet at your party without some media talking to me every five seconds.
29:26🔗
Drew
Well, it's so funny, it must be so uncomfortable, it's so wonderful to be able to connect with people, to be able to, but to be able to be in a position we are connecting and not like it, it's like a funny kind of purgatory.
29:46🔗
It's a nickname. How you guys doing? Good. Okay. Here's the deal, I'm pretty much sure that I have a problem and I want to know what to do with it, about it I should say. Basically, I'd rather check out porn, go to strip clubs, do stuff like that than a lot of other things that I should be doing in my life. For example, sleep, I'd stay up all night on the computer, check out websites, hang out with my girlfriend, things like that. Yeah.
30:19🔗
Adam
Well, here's your problem, here's your main problem. You're not whacking off early enough in the evening. I mean, here you do it.
30:29🔗
Adam
All right, but here's the bottom line with that computer. It's the same with computer or porn or phone sex or whatever it is. You can have at it two minutes into it or you can have at it three hours into it. You know what I'm saying? Same result, same orgasm. The only difference is if you have at it five minutes into it, you've saved two hours and 55 minutes.
30:54🔗
Adam
That's where the real pathology comes in, is when you just sit there with one hand on the Johnson and the other hand on the Mouse for three hours. You better just realize whatever it is you're looking at now, you'll be looking at the same thing at 2.45 in the morning. You might as well just have at it.
31:14🔗
Caller
That's all right. That's cool. I can understand. I got your point there. But I mean like...
31:17🔗
Adam
I don't even put the porn movie in anymore. I just sniff the cassette right in the pants. Good to cover.
31:27🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah, it was funny. Somebody on the TV show today said, you know, I come home, I rent porn movies.
31:36🔗
Adam
My boyfriend rents porn movies and then he dubs them. And I said, listen, to any folks that are thinking about dubbing pornography that they rent, do it before you jack off. Because after you've jacked off, that's it. You're like, yeah, I'll do it in the morning. No, you won't do it because you think you'll never jack off again after you jack off. It's like, hey, why bother dubbing this thing? I'm entering the priesthood. There's no, you just, you lose all motivation. You lose all energy. That's it. I'm telling you, you could stay out of trouble with this. If this Ralph would have himself, five minutes, Ralph, I mean, Jesus Christ, five minutes in the computer, he could go to bed. All right, Ralph.
32:33🔗
Caller
Uh, my father was. He's, uh, well, recovering, but, you know, he's been clean for, like, 15 years.
32:59🔗
Adam
Maybe another quick speech here with everybody. Uh, there's certain stuff I enjoy. And, uh, that's why I don't do too much of it, because I enjoy it.
33:13🔗
Adam
I like a drink. I like a bong load. I like a cigarette. I like, uh, some sleeping pills. I like a little stump porn. I, uh, if I said too much.
33:21🔗
Adam
There's a lot of stuff I like, but the point is, is I know if I do it every day, then I'll never be able to do it anymore at a certain point.
33:28🔗
Drew
Why don't you get the stump porn out of your system, right? Yeah. Go ahead and do that all you want.
33:59🔗
Drew
I've heard you say that term a few... I thought you were saying snuff films or something.
34:10🔗
Adam
Some people, their sexuality and their sort of deviality, if that's a word, combine. They cross somewhere.
34:35🔗
Okay. I met this guy about four years ago. And we met at the festival. We were both out of state and we clicked right away. And I went back to Texas and he lived in Oklahoma. And we talked and got along and we just had like an instant clicking like we're meant to be. It was crazy. And so he moved down to Dallas to be with me and he was there for six months and it didn't work out. And he moved out to California and we've been apart for about a year, but we've always been talking, been friends, kept in touch. And a few months ago, he was kind of talking to me, sort of like hinting that he, you know, was interested again. And I've always loved him. I've always wanted to be together. We talked about getting married and whatnot. And so I go out to visit and go there for a week. And it's like nothing ever happened. You know, we went all around California and it was great. And when I came back, you know, we kept talking. And he's like, yeah, you should move out here, quit your job. Just really enthusiastic about it. Like everything was back on. And then it's been like two months since I've gone to visit. And since then...
35:38🔗
Excuse me?
35:40🔗
Okay. Since then, it's just gone down from really excited. Yeah, I moved down here. It'll be great. We can get a place, go to San Diego. And now it's like today, it's just like, I'm sorry. I don't feel this anymore. I'm just really scared and too young.
36:08🔗
Adam
At least it is for now. I wouldn't yo-yo with the guy. I know it's a bitch. I know you like the guy. I know you want to believe what you want to believe. But he's telling you he's scared and he's confused and he's too young. You can't move out there. And really all you can do is put the phone down and see if he calls. And even then, you don't know what you're going to get. All right.
36:29🔗
Yes?
36:31🔗
What's up?
36:32🔗
Caller
Basically what's going on is about a week ago my boyfriend and I were experimenting with anal sex. And I wouldn't say that I was unwilling but I was a bit reluctant. And I basically had this very involuntary reaction afterwards.
36:51🔗
Adam
This is one of my greatest fears in involving anal sex, the involuntary reaction that goes on post anal sex.
37:05🔗
Caller
During, I mean, it wasn't painful. I mean, it was a very interesting sensation, but I mean, it was fine. I was fine with it mentally, physically.
37:19🔗
Caller
Just basically afterwards, I started to get cold chills and I started shaking, crying uncontrollably.
37:33🔗
Drew
Well, no, I wonder if this was a some sort of infection or something, some sort of sepsis.
37:45🔗
Drew
Well, bacteria, bacteria can break in the bloodstream if she tears things or rips something.
38:03🔗
Caller
Well, basically, I guess I was just wondering if that's somehow connected to any sort of mental instability because I am, you know, diagnosed with certain things.
38:21🔗
Adam
Yeah. Listen, people that are sort of only the most mentally fit should be engaged in anal sex or you know what I'm saying? I mean...
38:32🔗
Adam
I'm just saying it's sort of like, I don't know, working on Wall Street or something, you know, you really got to have your ass together. Otherwise, you probably just go insane. The pressure would be too much, you know. People that are sort of hovering near the border of Insanityville, that'll push them right over the edge.
38:54🔗
Caller
Well, I don't think... Yeah, I wasn't suicidal afterwards or anything, but I don't plan on doing it again in the near future.
39:10🔗
Adam
It's like some people, I guess when you're young, you treat sex like some kind of scavenger hunt, you know?
39:16🔗
Adam
Well, let's see what I got here. Ooh, missionary. Ooh, done that one. Scratch that off. Handjob.
39:27🔗
Adam
What's here? Anal sex, threesome? Nope, nope. Got a little orgy. Got to find those. What they shoot? Stump porn? Haven't done that. Hey, people just eat. I don't know. There comes a certain point, though, when you just realize, listen, screw the list. I figured out what I like. I'm just going to double back and do more of what I liked. You start indulging in that. Right, Drew?
39:53🔗
Adam
We'll take a little break. And then when we come back, we'll talk to more screwed up folks. Dr. Drew Loveline. What? Yeah, nose is coming back now. Sore throat's coming in again.
40:26🔗
Hey.
40:29🔗
Caller
My girlfriend said she was raped to the little girl, and now she's been wanting to have sex with me.
40:47🔗
Adam
No, I mean, yeah, I've never had sex with anybody. Okay. And how far have you gotten with her?
40:58🔗
Drew
You got a great instinct there with that. I kind of don't want to. That's a good instinct.
41:37🔗
Adam
I'm going to fix it by having sex with Eric. She's just compelled this way because of being stirred up a little bit.
41:43🔗
Drew
The way the biology works. That's right. And though once you become a man that has sex with her, she's going to have all kinds of conflicted feelings about you. See, she has to put you in that role of the person that abused her.
42:00🔗
Adam
And there's a connection that goes on in a relationship through having sex. It isn't really present before that.
42:09🔗
Adam
I mean, you can have a crush on someone. You can like somebody. But until you start having sex, that bond isn't there. And once you get into that, you can't really go back. All you can do is sort of break the bond. So Eric's instincts are solid. This chick may be a handful and he better slow down. And I think he's right.
42:33🔗
Adam
You're 15. Yeah, we get the one who was trying to, you know, they want to film a threesome.
42:41🔗
Caller
Yeah. I go to school with this girl and she has a boyfriend, but she like invites me to dances and stuff.
42:54🔗
Drew
Why don't you ask her what she's up to? How do we know? You can ask her out, that's fine, but you got to get her to clarify what she's up to.
43:55🔗
Caller
It's not only me. It's like he asks what I'm doing after work and stuff like that. Yeah.
44:10🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, he'd ask me that a lot, but my other friends, they say that he talks stuff to them.
44:41🔗
Drew
Well, you can quit. That's one thing. That's certainly you can do that. But if you want to own Arby's, which you could easily do...
44:53🔗
Drew
That institution has a huge liability with that guy behaving the way he does. If you catch him, you now own Arby's.
46:00🔗
Adam
I can't remember what the hell that was. God, I usually tune out of this show. You know what I mean? I don't remember anything. I'm not really here. Like right now, I don't know where I am. Who are you? What are you doing in my bedroom? I swear to God, I'll call the cops. You don't leave. All right. Very good detective work there, Lisa Anderson. Tommy?
46:25🔗
Caller
Well, I was talking to my dad earlier today, and he said that he heard on the radio yesterday that licorice would lower your testosterone.
46:35🔗
Drew
Well, that's interesting. I'm not aware of that, but I'd be interested in seeing the study.
46:45🔗
Drew
There was substances in black licorice from the olden days that used to do things to the kidney function, but I don't know that there's anything like that anymore.
46:52🔗
Adam
Let me tell you how this conversation went. Dad, I'm going to the movies. Uh-huh. Can I have some money? Yeah, here's two dollars.
47:10🔗
Adam
Uh, let me tell you about licorice, son. You want to turn to a bitch? You eat licorice because it lowers your testosterone. Soda milk guts and goobers and raisinettes and large sodas.
47:26🔗
Adam
Seriously. Yeah, maybe it's the licorice, not licorice, like red vines licorice. That's not really licorice.
47:45🔗
Adam
But keep in mind, all you youngins out there, all that stuff you hear, it doesn't make a difference. You know, when they talk about sperm counts raised by this, sperm counts lowered by that, licorice causes this, this causes that.
48:05🔗
Adam
Right, right. You'll never notice the difference. Yeah. Everyone, go eat a ginseng pill and see if it's like doing a line of speed. You know what I mean? It's nothing. None of that stuff's anything. Anything that's cheap, anything that's easy, anything you could buy, they'll work.
48:41🔗
Adam
It's the Love Line. We gotta take a quick 10-second time out. We'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.
49:04🔗
Adam
Right, it is Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Next week, Ice Tea, Blink-182 will be in here, and many surprise guests.
49:20🔗
Adam
Cavalcade. Some celebrities too big to mention over the air. I like when places do that. We're selling big screen TVs and stereo units at such rock bottom prices. Those were forbidden by law for mentioning them on air. I always like that angle. Really. You're saying like 20% off you can talk about, 30% you're pushing it, and when you're starting to talk about savings, 75-80%, the FCC intervenes. I like when they do this one too. Please, no wholesalers. So you sit home, you go, Jesus Christ. I mean, there's, I mean, other, other merchants are buying from these guys. Those have to be rock bottom prices. And coincidentally, you know what time it is? It's dealing day.
50:21🔗
Caller
Um, my friend told me I should call you show. I had injured myself. Injured myself. And I was wondering if, uh, Dr. Drew, you could tell me how to... I've got this injury on, uh, my...
51:43🔗
Adam
I see. It's very complicated working in the fast-paced world of pharmaceuticals, isn't it?
52:17🔗
Adam
Listen, you nomskull. If you're going to do a fake voice, you got to do a voice that I can't do, because I have no range and no talent when it comes to voices. And if you're going to do like a, you know, El Lamo 101. See, here's the thing. Certain people do certain impressions, but everybody does certain people. Like everyone can do certain voices. There's certain presidents. And, you know, it was like when Reagan was in office, there was, hey, hey, mommy. It's like, because everyone can do that. There's certain voices humans can mimic. And I think Yogi Bear may be one of them. I think that may be one of them, too. The point is, is if I can do it, anyone can do it.
53:19🔗
Caller
Yeah. Listen to your show. You talk to some people like you said, you seem to indicate that women with eating disorders to have some sort of psychological makeup or something.
53:32🔗
Caller
Yeah. I was wondering what that would be, because it seems to be developing a little bit of bulimia.
53:40🔗
Drew
The basic thing is a parental situation in which you aren't identified or nurtured as a wholly separate person. You're really very much there to serve the needs of the parents. Not necessarily a conscious thing, but there's a lack of empathy on a certain level, so you don't really develop a full sense of yourself. Pieces of your emotional self are left behind and they have nothing left to express themselves with other than these compulsions.
54:24🔗
Caller
I don't know that they want it. I don't know. My parents pretty much seem like they just left me to fend for myself.
54:40🔗
Caller
He didn't do anything except that I mean, like I was like beat up and bullied as a kid and pretty much just left me to fend for myself and he's always, he's sort of emotionally distant, I think.
54:50🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, maybe that's just food poisoning then. You shouldn't have an eating disorder.
54:54🔗
Caller
Well, it started like, it didn't start until I was like 18. I started running and I got really compulsive about my weight. And then I stopped running. I started eating because I felt really guilty that I couldn't lose the weight. So I just like binge.
55:12🔗
Caller
Except that like I injured my foot, so I can't exercise. And so like I feel really bad that I can't exercise. I go and eat a bunch of food. But now I've got like I just throw it up really easily. I'm just like, rather than sit around and feel like crap, like I used to go and throw it up. And it's gotten really easy to do that.
55:40🔗
Caller
So I mean, I don't want obviously I don't want to be doing that. I would like to eat like reasonably and like get my weight down because I want to be a competitive runner.
55:53🔗
Adam
It's a horrible sport. I just you see the women who compete running their mess. I know it's not good to your body.
56:06🔗
Caller
And like, I don't know what else gives me that. Nothing. I mean, I've really been depressed like God my whole life. And that gives me gives me focus. It makes me feel really good.
56:23🔗
Caller
I haven't been in the shrink. I got on Prozac for a month. And if it helped me be, I mean, I think it's the only thing to kill my appetite.
56:38🔗
Adam
Yeah, just about right. All right. So there you are. Hey, listen, why don't you get some counseling?
56:45🔗
Adam
Well, all right. Then just run in a circle until your shoes fall off. Oh, sounds like a good one. I can't smell anything with my nose. I'll get a little whiff of that. No, nothing. Yeah.
57:03🔗
Adam
Well, it's torture. Torture, man. Can't smell his own fart. You know, that's when it's time to die, Drew. You know what I mean?
57:26🔗
Adam
No, it ain't that. It's just no gas. And it bothers me. I'm going to go see a physician.
57:40🔗
Adam
You know what I'm going to do? On the ride home tonight, I'm going to open the window, hang my mouth out. I'm going to swallow like several, you know, thousand cubic feet of oxygen and then just go home and fart my entire house out.
58:02🔗
Caller
Nothing. Me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for a little over a year and a half now and I recently, well, she went away to college about four months ago and I've been going to school myself. Recently I met somebody close to me and we've spent a lot of time together and my girlfriend that moved away, I had a really, really decent relationship, you know. We were together all the time and, you know, we had really good sex and a lot of good things happened but now I've, you know, kind of fell out of touch with her and everybody tells me that, you know, long distance relationships don't even work out really but I've been trying to make it work and now I've met this girl and I've met, I've spent so much time with her now that I don't think about my other girlfriend that much anymore.
59:06🔗
Caller
Until she's coming back in December but I really don't live in a town that we used to live in together. I moved away to go to school myself.
59:17🔗
Adam
It's a lay up for us. I mean, you pick up the phone, you have a tough 15 minutes and then you're done. I mean, you guys aren't living together, you're not living in the same town, she's out of town, you know.
59:32🔗
Adam
And how big, she may be disappointed, but how devastated could one be? You're not even seeing the person. Right. You're not seeing them, you know what I mean? It's like whether you're together or whether you're broken up, it's almost, it's just, it's sort of, what word am I trying to look for? It's academic. You're still not seeing each other.
1:00:13🔗
Caller
Well, I don't know if you got the question earlier, but this is for the doc. What happened is like I got on the birth control the shot that they give you.
1:00:23🔗
Caller
Uh-huh. And they told me that probably I would just totally miss my period all the time.
1:00:32🔗
Caller
Okay. Because yeah, that was my problem. Like I skipped my first period and then like...
1:00:42🔗
Caller
So if I stay on... Because I was thinking about getting off of it. But if I stay on it, will it fill out?
1:00:46🔗
Drew
Usually it stops. Usually the second shot, but definitely by the third. And then most women or often women lose their period all together.
1:01:06🔗
Adam
I'm just curious. It sounds amazingly mature to say I know I would screw something up before you screw it up.
1:01:29🔗
Caller
Um, I don't know, because I just moved, so I'm going to have to go to a different clinic.
1:01:44🔗
Drew
Well, it depends. It depends on the patient, really. A patient should be responsible for their own stuff this way.
1:01:50🔗
Adam
What the hell you think that reminder card looks like? You know, the one you get from the dentist? Yeah. Yeah, they're Snoopy, wrestling a giant toothbrush. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. What's up with the dentist? You idiots can't sort of join reality. Get a goddamn card and say it's time to get your teeth clean. I don't want to see like a clown sitting on top of a giant stack of floss crying, and it says, we miss you. You know what I mean? All I want to do is go in there with a gun and start killing people when I see that. What's up with dentists? Why can't these guys just say, hey, it's been six months. Come in and get your teeth clean. Does everything have to be cute? Does everything have to rhyme? Does everything have to be interesting or witty? And especially since it isn't. That's what always gets offensive to me.
1:02:45🔗
Adam
It's like, you get, they pull your card, the same pot, 35 year old guy, you get the same one that the four year old gets and the retard gets, you all get the same one. Some goofy cartoon character who's talking or, maybe Mr. Toothbrush has his hands on his hips and he's looking disappointed. I do not get one foot closer to that office based on that card. Just be a human being. Treat adults like adults. So, with the depot, you know, it's been three months, it's time for the booster shot.
1:03:24🔗
Drew
You know, the companies have those logos, a nice contour with like a pregnant woman's body. Oh, nice.
1:03:34🔗
Drew
But they artistically now a little curry, a little sort of some sort of maybe brought into like the treble clef side or something, you know, something really hard.
1:03:47🔗
Adam
I swear to God, is there is there one of those, it's time to get your teeth clean from adult that's made for people over 11?
1:04:01🔗
Adam
I wipe my ass with those things you idiot dentist, you evil teeth picking people with your drills and your scrapers.
1:04:19🔗
Drew
So that's what it was like negative reinforcement, the reverse of conditioning that you kept getting these drilling done, and you figured the only way it's going to stop is.
1:04:27🔗
Adam
Oh, well, now the guy wants to take my wisdom tooth out. This guy's a genius. He's like, he's a guy screwed up my root canal. I should stop talking about him. But every time I go in there, I get an earful from him and his staff. But, you know, the guy says, look, one of your wisdom teeth has a filling. That's OK. I mean, it's got a cavity. We could fill it or we could just take it out. Yeah, if this guy went to the auto body store, he'd be like, we could fix the fender. We just push the goddamn car into the ocean. Yeah, OK. So let me do the math here. You take all my teeth out, no more fillings?
1:05:03🔗
Adam
That's a good plan. So he said, well, you know, it's doing all right, but, you know, it could come out. Like, yeah, good. My jaw feels a little heavy. I'm in a little trouble flapping it. So I don't know what the hell to do. So his plan is we'll take the tooth out, and then we won't have to fill it. I compromised with him. I said, why don't you pull the tooth, then you fill it, and I can watch and help.
1:05:29🔗
Adam
Yeah, absolutely. They're good. We'll all save some money. This is a, this is the place, by the way, that I went to where they said, they said, listen, you want to, you want to pay all at once, or do you want to break the payments in, up, you know, over months? And I said, well, how much does insurance cover? I said, 80 percent. I said, this, this was a couple of root canals and a cleaning and a bunch of x-rays, a whole bunch of stuff, you know. I said, pays 80 percent the insurance? I said, yep. I said, all right, well, let's just pay for it all at once. Do all the work at once. We'll take care of it all at once. So I get this bill for like 2,400 bucks.
1:06:17🔗
Adam
Well, you said to have the whole thing paid for. I said, yeah, but you didn't tell me about the part about the 1,100 ceiling. So I broke it up into a couple of months anyway. But the good news is I get the ether every time I go in there. I get the nitrous every time. And now once you make the nitrous list, everybody, you're on. Nitrous in the waiting room. I walk out of the car with a rolling tank of nitrous. I get in the car. They just shove the nitrous hose through the thing. I roll the windows up and they pump nitrous into the car.
1:07:00🔗
Adam
The thing about nitrous is, man, you walk a fine line because you can be right there or you can just start spiraling down like, remember the turtle with Mr. Wizard?
1:07:12🔗
Adam
Yeah, I was like, oh, I don't want to be a drug addict. And you're lying there in that chair and I'll tell you what happened. The problem was is I grabbed the wrong CD and it started to freak my high out. Remember I told you this? I got root canal done. And the thing about root canal, everybody, and this is why you should all floss, ain't no amount of anesthetic good enough for root canal because root canal, they go into your soul for that. I mean you feel it in your bones. I mean my knees hurt after that root canal. I mean it's into the marrow, you know what I mean? And it doesn't matter how numb you are when you're being violated. It's like shoot me in the ass and then bang me in the ass. I'm still going to know it. I may not hurt but I'm going to feel violated. I was lying down in this chair. I had the nitrous going. I had a CD picked out because they have these headphones and the CD player. I grabbed, I couldn't think of, you know, they always have those crappy CDs at the dentist office, you know, all these pop ones and it's like Kenny, best of Kenny Loggins and a bunch of nonsense like that. I grabbed the Manhattan Transfer because I thought fine I'll listen to jazz. I wanted something sort of neutral. It was the Manhattan Transfer Christmas out. So I'm lying there. It's the middle of August. The guy said, you know, the guy's actually, you know, he's got one knee on my groin and he's got his foot in my mouth and he's digging in that root canal. He's just digging in there. And I'm like, I'm like, chestnuts roasting on an open fire. And it's like, it's like I'm here like the little drummer boy. And I'm here like the sleigh bells ringing and stuff. And I'm there and I got the nitrous stuffed in me. And I'm just looking at the ceiling and I'm just going, Jesus Christ, I'm losing it. I'm spinning out and I keep thinking the guy's talking to me and I can't hear him. That was my that was like my main thing. Yeah, like, like, you know, the dentist, they'll talk to you. Well, you got the earphones on, you know, you know, I thought I was biting down on his hand or that I was moving around. And I would kept I kept thinking he was saying something to me.
1:09:27🔗
Adam
Oh, Jesus, like being in Vietnam. I mean, you know, Vietnam was in Burbank. That's what it'd be like. Viet Bank is what it was. All right. My mouth hurts. I will take a little break and we'll be back. Let's see, Adam, that's Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LMV-E-191. And it's back to the phones we go. Let's talk to Joe.
1:10:14🔗
Caller
Well, I have a problem. I've been having sex for many years now, and my problem is that I'd have to say for about the last year, a little over a year now, the girl that I'm seeing, same girl for, I'd probably say, about three years. While having sex, I cannot have, I guess, orgasm.
1:10:39🔗
Caller
And I, I mean, for some reason, I mean, I don't know what the problem is. I mean, I have no problem with masturbation, but during sex, I just can't reach orgasm.
1:10:55🔗
Caller
Wow. I mean, but I don't take it on a regular basis, though. I mean, will it do it just from now on? I mean-
1:11:06🔗
Caller
I had back surgery and I still have back problems and I'll be having more surgeries.
1:11:21🔗
Drew
The other thing, maybe the back pain, the back problem is impinging on the function down there.
1:11:57🔗
Drew
Neurontin is a medicine called gabapentin. It's good for chronic pain, has some anti-anxiety properties and some anti-pain properties. Very good medicine. It was originally developed as a seizure medicine.
1:12:08🔗
Adam
I'll ever tell you about the time. This is one more reason to kick dad in the nuts. I was working construction. I was, had a skill worm drive hypoid saw with a carburundum blade on it and I was cutting stucco on the second floor of this hillside house. You know the kind where the front, the top floor, sort of the main floor and then it goes down? Yeah. And there's those real steep cement stairs that go down the side of the house usually. You know, walk down there and go around to the bottom of the house. Usually like the stilts are. I was up on the second floor on some makeshift scaffolding that my idiot friend John Gillingham built with this 20 pound skill saw over my head. Sitting there with my feet sort of hanging inside the house but my ass was hanging out the house, cutting stucco. The whole thing just went just like that.
1:13:00🔗
Adam
Pow! Wasn't scaffolding, it was just something that hung out the window. My feet were dragging all the way down the side of the building and I landed on these cement stairs. One cheek on, one cheek off. Oh, that was a bitch. That was a bitch.
1:13:28🔗
Adam
Second the thing gave way, because I had the saw over my head, the second thing gave way, my impulse was to just toss the saw in the building. And then when the plywood and stuff landed on me that I was sitting on originally, I immediately pulled it over my head because I figured the saw was coming with me, but the saw made it into the building. But I landed one cheek on the stair, right cheek on stair, and left palm on three or four lower stairs.
1:14:00🔗
Adam
No, that isn't, but I got a scar from that. But the point is, I should just sue somebody. I limped into work the next day because I thought I was going to get canned if I didn't show up.
1:14:15🔗
Adam
Seven bucks an hour. I mean, seriously F'd up. I mean, hip was like jacked up and I just limped in the next day. I remember thinking I better go in there.
1:14:24🔗
Adam
And then, oh, did I use the F word there? Yes, you did. I swear to God, I must be getting tired. I swear, I'm such an idiot. What an idiot, you know what I mean? I should have taken a week off and told him, listen, I'm taking a week off with full pain. If you don't like it, you'll hear from my attorney. Stupid parents.
1:14:52🔗
Caller
Well, I don't have a question, but I just was going to tell you guys, I always hear all these like negative things about, and I'm sure that most of the time it is negative, like menage-a-trois, but I just have a positive story to say.
1:15:05🔗
Caller
Well, it's just my, actually now it's my husband, but my friend and my boyfriend at the time, we, about two years ago, had a menage-a-trois. We just decided that we would, cause he had told me that that was like a fantasy of his, and so I just like said to her, and she was like, all right, let's do it. So we did, and it was all fine.
1:15:33🔗
Caller
No, not, no, no, I'm not, actually. No. I mean, she's an attractive woman, but I'm not, I've never been, had anything with a woman before.
1:15:46🔗
Caller
Actually, yeah. I mean, it was okay. I mean, I wouldn't want him doing it if I wasn't there with her, you know what I mean, but it was actually, it was fine.
1:16:08🔗
Caller
Actually, you know what? I don't know why, but it didn't. I mean, I would think that it would, but it didn't. And we're all still friends and everything's like, in fact, like a few months ago, we kind of like all fooled around again.
1:16:30🔗
Drew
One of the things that can happen in situations like that is some pairing occurs where some heavy feelings start developing, things you don't expect to happen, don't want to happen, happen anyway.
1:16:40🔗
Adam
Well, listen, a lot of the people we talk to, one of them ends up liking the other one. I guess that's what you're saying.
1:16:47🔗
Drew
For all you know, maybe the reason they didn't have intercourse is because these two were carrying on by themselves.
1:16:54🔗
Drew
Well, or they sort of feel awkward about it. Oh, maybe she'll catch on that we're doing this.
1:16:57🔗
Adam
It's kind of interesting, actually. I think about that. Hold on a second. Wait a minute. What's that echo?
1:17:05🔗
Adam
Okay, listen. What if, and I'm not saying this is if, but what if you're carrying on with a girl, you're fooling around behind your wife's back, and then it's like we're going to have a threesome with this chick. I wouldn't have sex with her because I'd be like too suspicious.
1:18:02🔗
Drew
She's having threesomes. A married girl's having threesomes with their friends. His friends.
1:18:21🔗
Caller
Good. Really good. My parents have been... They'll be celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary in April of next year.
1:18:39🔗
Drew
It's possible, but you'll see, Kelly. You'll see. And it's just the way it works. I wish we were different.
1:18:48🔗
Caller
I mean, I'm not saying like we want to do it like all the time or anything. I mean, we probably will never do it again. It's not like something that we...
1:18:53🔗
Drew
I think your boyfriend, your husband's on to something here, but he's not going to let go.
1:19:06🔗
Drew
Let's see what happens there. Married woman, when the husband comes down and tries to kill Kelly's husband.
1:19:26🔗
Drew
It's possible for a while, but eventually there's a price to be paid for this. People want to tell us... Remember when we were in Seattle, we were at University of Washington, that couple stood up and they're telling us how... We're just so close-minded. They've got it so wonderful. And then it started coming out. All the crap in that relationship. And then it's like, okay, well, there it is.
1:19:46🔗
Yeah.
1:19:49🔗
Caller
I got hepatitis C and my doctor thinks that it was because when I got my ears pierced at the mall.
1:20:17🔗
Drew
Okay. All right. And neither of them had any transfusions or anything like that? Nope.
1:20:23🔗
Adam
What makes you candidate for a transfusion? Just massive blood loss? How much you got to lose? A couple of quarts.
1:20:54🔗
Caller
Yeah, I haven't been active, but I wanted to know how I could like give it to people.
1:20:58🔗
Drew
Well, it's transmitted, we believe, in ways very similar to the AIDS virus. Okay, so think about safe sex. That's the way to prevent it from being transmitted. That's nice.
1:21:34🔗
Adam
Lisa said booty call. Could be right. All right. When we come back, we'll speak to Jason. And he's 16. And when he tries to go farther with girlfriends, she says no, because then he'll dump her. He wants to know how to handle this. Wait, Drew, what the hell is that? You got to do better than that. Jennifer, she's 18. She was a virgin, but was raped in December. Now she's been with eight guys since.
1:22:06🔗
Adam
All right, we'll talk to Jennifer after this. Neat. Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Drew. Forget about the phone number. Let's get back to the phones. I think we're going to talk to Jennifer. Jennifer?
1:22:38🔗
Caller
Well, I wanted to wait till I got married to have sex before, and I had no problem saying no. And then I got raped by someone in one of my classes in December, and it seems like my self-control just went out the window. And I mean, I've had sex with eight different guys, and it was all meaningless, and I just...
1:22:56🔗
Caller
I don't know. It just seems like I don't have much control. I mean, I know I do, but I don't...
1:23:04🔗
Caller
Well, we went out to a movie, and then we just parked at a park, and I mean, he started kissing me, and it led to more, and I told him no, and I told him I just got done telling him that I wanted to wait till I got married, and he told me he respected that, and then he just went on with it.
1:23:23🔗
Caller
I don't know. I don't think it affected me like I thought it should have. I mean, I didn't tell anyone, and I didn't even cry like I thought I would. It didn't affect me emotionally.
1:23:40🔗
Caller
Well, my uncle told me that I might have been molested by one of his friends when I was like three, but I don't have any flashbacks of that.
1:23:48🔗
Adam
That's one of those General's Food International coffee moments. You and the uncle sitting down at the back porch with a nice piping hot cup of Swiss mocha in your hand and him explaining about how his buddy Chet, who worked with him at the transmission place, may have gotten in your panties, but he's not sure. And then we just sort of fade up into the starry sky. We just fade into Weedfield. Weedfield.
1:24:19🔗
Adam
Why bring it up? Maybe you got molested by one of my bodies, but I'm not so sure. I mean, what does that mean?
1:24:27🔗
Drew
Well, certainly your behavior as a victim sort of fit that. Well. You're a great victim.
1:24:35🔗
No, but she didn't report it.
1:24:39🔗
Adam
What do you think? Were you paralyzed when the guy was sort of thrusting himself on you?
1:24:45🔗
Caller
I mean, yeah. Well, at first, I mean, I tried to stop and then I just like my brain seemed to like go dead. I mean, I didn't know what to do.
1:24:53🔗
Adam
There you go. Yeah. That's unfortunately people that had been or have been victimized in the past had that reaction.
1:25:02🔗
Drew
That's right. That's how they react. So it's highly suspicious. And of course, those victimizers know exactly who to pick and try this crap with.
1:25:09🔗
Adam
Yeah. We're going to park. All right. You want to save your Virginia until you're married. Don't worry about it. Yeah. What a bastard.
1:25:21🔗
Drew
I wouldn't be surprised if you're feeling depressed or panic attacks, anything like that.
1:25:26🔗
Caller
I get depressed every once in a while. I mean, I have a pretty low self-esteem and I don't think guys like me. But I mean, there are a lot of guys that like me and they've told me lately, but they're just nice guys. And the guys I tend to like are just jerks and they don't show me back that they like me.
1:25:42🔗
Adam
Yeah, there's more here than meets the eye, Jennifer. You've got to get into a little counseling, okay?
1:25:49🔗
Caller
I told my dad I want to go to counseling and I can't tell him why. He doesn't understand. He thinks I should just talk to someone at church and they'll understand me better.
1:25:57🔗
Drew
Tell him your doctor told you to go. What? Tell him your doctor told you to go or you talked to a doctor and he said go.
1:26:07🔗
Adam
Yeah. Listen, here's the problem with church. You can't get in any good stuff. You know what I mean? I mean, what do you talk about? You got to go lightweight all the way, right? You can't be talking about raping and masturbation and fornication, all the Asian things. No good. You know what I mean?
1:26:29🔗
Adam
There's fornication, masturbation, Mastication, Mastication, is it cutting a breast? There's obliteration, okay, you're right. Becky? Hello? You're, what is Becky, 14?
1:26:50🔗
Caller
Hello. Okay, I've been dating this guy for about nine months and he broke up with me Sunday for the second time.
1:26:57🔗
Caller
And his reason is, it's not me, he still loves me but it's everything and everything can be anything.
1:27:13🔗
Adam
That's it. That's it. Let me, let me explain something. It's a, it's a harsh truth but everyone should listen up. When people want you to make changes, they'll tell you the changes.
1:27:29🔗
Adam
They'll go, hey, A, B, and C needs to be modified because I really like you. I want to stay with you. I'm unhappy about this department and that department. We'll work on those departments.
1:27:43🔗
Adam
They're leaving. Now, there's a rare exception. That is, you won't stop drinking. They have left five times already. They've warned you a hundred times. They came home one night. You were stinking drunk. Now you know why they left. Ironically enough, that person, you could get back. Right. Because all you got to do is put down the bottle and they'll come back. The only reason they left is because you picked up the bottle. But the ones that just say, hey, it's over because it's over. It's over. And you can, you can comb through the wreckage, like some sort of, you know, forensic scientists. It doesn't matter. It's over. And don't, don't examine it.
1:28:21🔗
Drew
And the more you demand that the relationship be rekindled, the more you've guaranteed your future, which is that this will come back to you twofold. There will happen again. And now you've sort of.
1:28:41🔗
Drew
But how about the ones that get, I do this in high school, got it back in and kept it going and going and going. And of course, it was like, you know, keeping something glued together is just falling apart.
1:28:50🔗
Adam
Listen, my stripper girlfriend, Lindsay, I mean, you know, I went to Hawaii without her. I came home, you know, I had that gecko t-shirt. I bought her in Hawaii and everything. She was gone. She moved into my grandparents' house.
1:29:08🔗
Adam
And we're all equals. Not not within the Corolla family. I mean, just the world that spans its part. It's parts of China. That's Russia. I mean, everybody. There's no God bless the Corollas. They never played favorites. I'll tell you that son, daughter and uncle, father, son. Doesn't matter. It's just that everything will be evaluated on its own. You borrow money from my family. You whenever whatever the criteria is for a guy who lives in Nova Scotia, borrowing money, same same same thing applies 100 percent. So my my grandparents went to Europe for the summer and their house was empty. And basically my girlfriend just moved in there. You know, like I said, according to Corolla, she had just as much right to be there as anyone else. So she was there. Maybe more. I think they liked her more. So she moved in over there. And I moved back into my apartment in North Hollywood and I was so pathetic. And so poor that I had to have a series of roommates. Because the rent was like $7.25 a month. And you know, I could pony up $3.50. But that's, there's no way I was going to make up that extra $3.75, whatever it is. So I kept having these like transient guys come through, not street guys. Just like, hey, John McCann needs a place to stay for two weeks. All right, I'll pro-rate it. That's $182. He'd come in with a box, you know, filled with Denty Moore stew and some socks. And he'd crash out for like two weeks. And he'd get his ass together and he'd move out. And some other guy would move back in for, you know, all in the name of like $150, $170 at a time. So I'm living, living with a string of derelict guys. Meanwhile, my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend's living rent-free over at the grandparents' house. She starts dating a guy she's working with. What a surprise. I worked the whole summer to try to get her back. I mean, I have four months into this thing, nonstop, whole summer, completely wasted. We get back together for about a month and a half.
1:31:10🔗
Adam
I think I started while she was on her way over. Jesus Christ, what a mess. What a pathetic mess. Someone should have just killed me back then. It was pathetic, man. Pathetic. I'll never do that again. I'll never be there. That's the good news, everyone. You get older, it gets better. You may look worse, but you feel better.
1:32:17🔗
Adam
Usually when someone dates married men, it just means they date unavailable men, whether they're incarcerated or married. People, they can't have a relationship back. I think her line went bad.
1:32:44🔗
Adam
OK. So do you know what I mean about dating guys that you can't really have a future with?
1:33:31🔗
Adam
Yeah. Good. All right. Well, maybe, I don't know, hopefully he got drunk and ran his motorcycle into a pole or something.
1:33:40🔗
Adam
It would be nice. It wouldn't be a perfect world if all evil people just get loaded and buy it on a Honda. Wow. That was hot.
1:34:03🔗
Adam
They're not going to do anything. Stop looking outside of yourself. Just take six months off.
1:34:40🔗
Adam
Another fabulous or at least mediocre week of Loveline in the can, as they say. I want to give some special thanks to those who made it possible. First and foremost, Jesus Christ, my personal Lord and Savior. I don't like when people say person, my personal Lord. It's like, hey, hey, what about me, brother? What do I get now? What do I get, chopped liver Christ? You're using my, what about, hey, he's my person. I wonder if a fist fight ever breaks out. This is my personal Lord and Savior. Lisa, who's doing a wonderful job, not only on the phones, but tilting the coffee and booking a guest and doing all that stuff. Because producer, Anne is home now napping for two or three, three and a half. Yeah. So she's a real pregnant. So she said doing the best she can. And I want to thank Anne and I want to thank Anderson for doing a great job, pushing buttons and swamp microphones and doing all that good stuff. Hey, magically, everybody in the mic worked the whole show. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. I nailed this guy in the ass once.
1:35:42🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management or the sponsors of this radio station. And you're probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Anne Wilkins Engel. Now, please listen to this station longer.