Tuesday, July 13, 1999

0:00🔗 Voiceover Loveline, Loveline, Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion advised. Now, here's Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

0:14🔗 What are you saying?

0:16🔗 Hey, it's the Loveline.

0:17🔗 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce. Dr. Bruce is filling in for Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is a... I don't know where Dr. Drew is. We don't talk that much anymore, but I think his people may have told my people where he went, but I didn't ask my people what his people said. So Dr. Bruce is filling in not only tonight, but for the rest of the week. And so far doing a mediocre job. Heather Kozar is our guest. Oh, let me give the phone number out first. 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 3108-54-44-55. Even though I've never seen a fax in the eight years I've been here. Heather Kozar is our guest. She is the 1999 playmate of the year. She's the very beautiful blonde, platinum blonde. Has a little bit of a throwback look. A little of that Marilyn Monroe, a little, maybe Jane Mansfield. Something you'd see painted on the side of an airplane. That little bit of that, right? Possibly. It's nice. It's kind of, it's classy. I like it. Yeah, they look good. Yeah, you think I'm cute? Okay.

1:25🔗 Dr. Bruce I like your shirt, too.

1:27🔗 Adam Thank you. It's very festive. Heather, you know, when you win, I don't know, when did Playmate of the Year start? It didn't start the first year, did it?

1:37🔗 No, it was actually five years after the magazine.

1:40🔗 Adam Came into existence?

1:41🔗 Yeah, so on the 40th anniversary.

1:43🔗 Right, right, right.

1:44🔗 Adam Because I think it came into existence in like 53, and then they started with the Playmate of the Year. It's funny, it takes you a while to come up with those ideas. Because you're not so grandiose your first year out on the street that, hey, we need a whatever the year because who cares at that point. But I remember this Playmate of the Year every year, and it was always like, they used to give them like a moped or something. And like the chick who won in 77 got a moped, Bruce. No gas in it, not even any two-stroke oil. How do you remember that? I just remember. Heather over here gets a $100,000 289 Shelby Cobra.

2:22🔗 Actually, $427, I asked for the better one.

2:26🔗 Adam Oh, you did. Here's the thing. Carroll Shelby made his famous Cobra cars back in the 60s, or like a legendary muscle car. If you could find an original $429 or $427 now, it would be going for over a million dollars. But over the years, they made a lot of replicas of these things. But they weren't really sanctioned by Shelby. But Carroll Shelby has now come back and started making these things. And they're pretty wicked. And they have the small block, that's the $289. And then the big block, which is, is it the $427? $427. And you know what you're doing. Because...

3:04🔗 Caller Well, they're going to have to teach me how to drive it. So they're flying me out to Las Vegas. They're actually, they're going to build it September 1st.

3:10🔗 So I have a little bit of time.

3:13🔗 Adam His facility is out there, if I'm not mistaken. And you can try it on the Vegas Motor Speedway or something like that.

3:20🔗 Caller Yeah, they have several race tracks.

3:21🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah, that is a wicked awesome car. And then also, if that wasn't enough, if you can't kill yourself with that, here's another way to kill yourself. We got you a BMW R1200C Cruiser, which is just a wicked street bike.

3:40🔗 Caller I've actually ridden that.

3:41🔗 Adam Really?

3:42🔗 Caller It's 850 pounds. I rode it in Palm Springs Entertainment last Thursday night, flew me down there and we, you know, the BMW people came down, they showed me how to ride it. And it was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done now that I think about it because I could have easily been pfft, dead.

3:58🔗 Adam Well, all right, but didn't you, aren't you just going to sell both these things?

4:02🔗 Caller Eventually. I'd like to keep them for a couple of years.

4:05🔗 Adam Really?

4:05🔗 Caller Yeah. Absolutely. It was so easy to keep them for me.

4:09🔗 Adam Does Hugh tell you not to sell this stuff, it makes us look mad?

4:11🔗 Caller No, not at all.

4:12🔗 Adam He doesn't care?

4:13🔗 Caller No, as long as you accept it in public and, you know, say thank you very much, then it's no big deal, it's yours. It's your gift, you get to do whatever you'd like with it.

4:20🔗 Adam Because this Cobra is worth, I mean, it's close to a hundred grand, I think.

4:27🔗 Caller Yeah, they say it starts at like $125,000.

4:29🔗 Adam And actually, this car, unlike other cars in other years that they've given to Playmates, you may want to hang on to this one because they're doing it in limited production.

4:38🔗 Caller $500,000.

4:39🔗 Adam Carol, you've done a research.

4:41🔗 Caller I know.

4:42🔗 Adam Who knew I knew so much about these cars either? I didn't, I just sat down and read about it. I just sat down and saw it on this thing. Luckily, I'm an enthusiast, but they'll do these things in limited numbers. As you said, Carol Shelby, God bless, it may not be here all that much longer. And when he kicks off five years from now, and you have one of the original Shelby's, especially if it's the Playmate of the year, Shelby Cobra, that thing may be going for twice as much, five, eight years from now.

5:09🔗 Caller That's why I'm going to keep it.

5:10🔗 Adam All right. But the motorcycle you should sell, you're going to kill, you're going to get drunk and like pop a wheelie on that thing and kill yourself. And that thing's got to be worth about 20 grand or so too.

5:20🔗 Caller Yeah, somewhere around there.

5:21🔗 Adam BMW doesn't make anything that's under 20 grand, Bruce. I don't know if you're aware of it. Bruce, how much eating are you going to do during this show?

5:29🔗 Caller That's why you keep talking.

5:30🔗 Adam All right. So Heather, all right, well, what the hell? What do we got to talk about? What do you have to do as Playmate of the year?

5:38🔗 Caller Basically, just travel around the world and represent Playboy, do a lot of television, radio, just meet a lot of fans, and launch a lot of Playboy TV and different magazines all over the world.

5:52🔗 Adam And they basically have an itinerary that's sort of set up for you before the year begins, before your reign begins.

6:00🔗 Caller I have a schedule that's really full now, and then they'll wait until the second.

6:05🔗 Adam But the the unveiling party is in like April or May?

6:09🔗 Caller April 29th is when it was.

6:10🔗 Adam Oh, that's good to see. I'm almost May.

6:12🔗 Caller Well, that was my day. It was very exciting. There were 600 people there and a lot of camera crews. And it was one of the best days of my life.

6:21🔗 Adam I have I've been to those before. It's quite an event. I did not go to yours. Had I known it was you, did I not know? I didn't know it was you because they didn't say it was you, right?

6:31🔗 Caller No, they can't tell. They sent out the invitations and they just say play me the year 99. They don't even say your name.

6:37🔗 Yeah.

6:38🔗 Adam And you figure you go because the chick's got to be good looking. I mean, right? How ugly can she be? And it's going to be food and booze. But when did you know?

6:51🔗 Caller Couple months ahead because I had to do the video and the pictorial.

6:55🔗 Adam Right.

6:55🔗 Caller So I'd say probably February.

6:57🔗 Adam Do they swear you to secrecy or something?

7:00🔗 Caller Basically.

7:01🔗 Adam And so you then get you come out the very beginning of May. But then, I mean, the thing's April 29th. Then your does your reign end December 31st?

7:15🔗 Caller No, it's all year until next year at the same time.

7:17🔗 Adam It goes through to the next time. All right. And in between then, it's a bunch of shows, bunch of traveling, a bunch of that kind of stuff. Lots of fun. What if there was a war on? Would you have to go somewhere?

7:30🔗 Caller I think it would be by choice anyway. I could go over and entertain the troops or something.

7:34🔗 Adam Right. Or certainly at least one lucky troupe. That's the way I'd do it.

7:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:39🔗 Adam All right. So you ready to take some calls?

7:40🔗 There's the number.

7:44🔗 Adam Are you a little disappointed? Do you know the show? Have you seen Drew? He's quite a hunk.

7:48🔗 Caller Yes, actually a hunk.

7:50🔗 Adam Yeah, it's very cute that Drew. Bruce is no slouch, but he's no Drew. I mean, let's... Veronica?

7:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:57🔗 Adam You're... I can't tell. Let's see. You're 24.

8:00🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 24.

8:01🔗 What's going on?

8:03🔗 Caller Actually, I just recently found out that my husband had the opportunity to be with two women before we got married and he turned it down. But it seems to me...

8:13🔗 Adam Was that on a suicide note?

8:14🔗 Caller No, it was more he knew them. And, you know, he was... he didn't want to, you know...

8:21🔗 You're right.

8:22🔗 Adam How did you find that out?

8:24🔗 Caller We were just discussing some things and it came up and he just said it and I didn't ever know this before and, you know, I just felt like now that he's married, he feels maybe, you know, that he lost his opportunity or whatever. Yeah.

8:41🔗 Adam I'm not sure if that was a done deal. I mean, if it was carved in stone, his... a lot of time there's a difference between what the guy thinks his opportunity was and what the girls think his opportunity was. As a matter of fact, I don't even think it was two women. I'm guessing it was just one big one.

9:00🔗 Was he disappointed?

9:00🔗 Did he express...

9:02🔗 Adam I go by weight. I've done that before.

9:04🔗 Caller Actually, he said that what it was is that he had... he was making out with one and a friend of hers came in and he knew them both. They're mutual friends of his and they obviously were bisexual and, you know, he just was embarrassed because he knew them both.

9:21🔗 Adam Right.

9:22🔗 Caller You know, he said no, you know, he didn't know the other one or something, but he just turned it down.

9:28🔗 Adam All right. So he turned it down. And now.

9:31🔗 Caller And, you know, I've done everything mutually possible to try and satisfy him intimately, just him and me. You know, as far as anything he wants.

9:41🔗 Adam Right. OK. But you're only we only have one mouth and one vagina. Right.

9:45🔗 Caller Well, so that's probably why he's telling her that is because he's like, hint, hint, you know, and I'd say that, you know, he's never said that he isn't satisfied.

9:54🔗 Caller He's never. It's just that, you know, it's we've been married almost going on seven years now. And, you know, we try everything to, you know, spice it up. We do have children together.

10:04🔗 Adam And how many kids you have?

10:06🔗 Caller We have two.

10:06🔗 Adam All right.

10:07🔗 Sounds sounds great so far. So what we did you have a specific question?

10:11🔗 What's the problem?

10:12🔗 Caller I just I just want to know what would be your opinion. Do you think? See, I've even he's even got me thinking about it now.

10:18🔗 Adam Threesome.

10:19🔗 Yeah.

10:20🔗 Caller But I don't, you know, we our intimacy is so great that I don't want to break that.

10:25🔗 You know, don't don't ask Adam his opinion.

10:28🔗 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, I I don't think threesomes are a bad idea, but not when you have a couple of kids and you're married. It's not going to work if you're in the grotto with Heather and they run her up to the playmate of the year. That's something else.

10:44🔗 Caller I wouldn't consider myself bisexual, but I do catch myself on like like you say, playmate of the year. They're gorgeous. You know, I even catch myself looking at them like, oh, my God, and I feel bad afterwards.

10:54🔗 Caller But you shouldn't feel bad. You're just appreciating the beauty of someone else. And humans are very curious. So it's OK to do that.

11:01🔗 And fantasy is one thing acting on its another.

11:03🔗 Caller Exactly.

11:03🔗 Keep it in the fantasy realm.

11:05🔗 Caller Right, right.

11:05🔗 Caller Don't do it if you feel uncomfortable.

11:07🔗 Caller Right. That's why I said, you know, I don't know if I want to go through with it.

11:11🔗 Adam All right. Listen, listen, listen, screwball. You can't go through with it because you have the two kids.

11:17🔗 Caller Right.

11:17🔗 Adam All right. It'll screw up the relationship. We hear it every night. Yeah. OK, that's enough. I don't listen. I want to sound like an old fart. Three sums are great. If you're in some college, you know, if you go to Europe and you're there for the summer and you're in some some some I was going to say brothel by a youth hostel or something like that and you're going back and blah blah and there's a few drinks, have a good time. But if you it's going to screw up the relationship you're in.

11:41🔗 Caller If your kids are in the other room, forget it.

11:42🔗 Adam Especially if the kids are there. Let me tell you, I watched some of that DVD porn last night. You ever see that, Heather, that DVD porn? You know, Jenna Jameson, the adult film star, she came in here a couple of weeks ago and she gave me this DVD porn. And I didn't want to hassle with it because it was like, it's too complicated for me, you know? My thing is, I'm old school. You know what I mean? I could just use the Vegas ad in the back of the sports page. I don't need a whole lot of technology when it comes to masturbation, but I was sort of down in my den and the pickings were slim and I thought, I'm going to try this DVD porn out. And I had this thing and I was working the behind the scenes stuff.

12:26🔗 Caller Really?

12:27🔗 Adam Oh yeah, it was great. It's like the caterer was there and like the fire marshal and you can do all the still frame and fast forward and click, click, click.

12:39🔗 Didn't this ruin the whole ambiance of the thing for you?

12:41🔗 Adam No. No, for me it was more interesting doing the sort of behind the scenes stuff. You know what I mean? I wasn't whacking off to some, the craft service or anything like that, Bruce. Come on. I just mean it was interesting getting a whole look. I had to flip. It did screw up when I had to get up and flip the disc at one point. That was uncomfortable. It was hard to make it to the TV. But it was like I was walking in shackles, you know. But it was interesting. I highly recommend it. Have you ever seen that? Do they have a DVD? They must have a DVD Playmate of the Year version of your video.

13:17🔗 Caller Karen McDougall's, they have last year's Playmate of the Year. And they're going to be having mine soon.

13:22🔗 Adam They are.

13:22🔗 Caller It's been a little while.

13:23🔗 Adam They don't have that on you?

13:24🔗 Caller Not yet.

13:26🔗 It's probably in bitter taste in what you were watching.

13:27🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, that's all right.

13:29🔗 Caller I'll send you one when I get it.

13:31🔗 When you get far away.

13:32🔗 Adam Different taste, same result, though. Matt?

13:35🔗 Yeah?

13:35🔗 Adam You're 16.

13:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:37🔗 Adam What's going on?

13:39🔗 Well, every time my girlfriend gives me a blowjob, my dick gets really red and really irritated.

13:44🔗 Adam Yeah, it's called an erection.

13:47🔗 Caller Maybe it's psychosomatic.

13:49🔗 I try for like three days or so.

13:51🔗 Caller Is she just too rough? Does she?

13:53🔗 I don't know. I don't want to like talk to her about it because I don't really want to talk to her about it. I thought it might be her teeth.

14:00🔗 Caller How about her lipstick? How about her makeup? How about saliva? Alert. How long does it take before you get red?

14:09🔗 I don't know. I don't really take blue. It's not really too much about it. It's kind of like irritating kind of. I don't know how to explain it.

14:17🔗 Adam I don't know. Go to the doctor then, man. Well, what do you want us to do?

14:22🔗 I don't know.

14:22🔗 Adam Well, put a condom on. Hey, why don't you put a condom on to see what happens?

14:27🔗 All right.

14:27🔗 Caller Okay. I mean, you could have an allergy or it could be direct irritation from something in her mouth.

14:33🔗 Adam Is there something else? What would the allergy be? For the, like, lipstick?

14:37🔗 Caller Absolutely.

14:39🔗 Adam How do you test for that? How do you get involved with that program?

14:44🔗 Caller Test for it. Get some lipstick on your skin and it swells up. There's your test.

14:47🔗 Adam But your penis skin's not different?

14:49🔗 No.

14:51🔗 Caller So, does the swelling last for long or do you get any drainage or?

14:56🔗 It just kind of lasts for about, like, two or three days. It kind of, it's kind of sore, kind of, for two or three days or so.

15:01🔗 Caller And it gets red within a few hours? Yeah. Yeah, it's probably some, I mean, theoretically the allergic to...

15:06🔗 Adam How's the swelling work? And what's wrong with swelling in the penis, by the way?

15:12🔗 That was supposed to be a good thing.

15:13🔗 Adam We could all use a little swelling in the penis, couldn't we?

15:16🔗 Caller We could go on in the inside and not in the outside.

15:17🔗 Adam I may demonstrate the swelling in the penis before the show's over. So I may be allergic to something, Heather. All right, what's going on? What?

15:28🔗 Caller Bruce? Oh, I thought I was done.

15:30🔗 Adam Okay, I think you're done too. Yeah, I don't really know if, man, that sounded sort of bogus or he was really stupid or I don't know what that is. But how do you know when you have swelling in your penis?

15:39🔗 Caller No, no, the skin, if you have swelling under the skin, such as when you have any kind of a allergic reaction in something like poison ivy or...

15:49🔗 Adam Yeah, but that would be blotching or break out.

15:52🔗 Caller Well, you said you had to turn red and...

15:54🔗 Adam Swelling.

15:54🔗 Caller Irritated, so...

15:55🔗 Adam Yeah, I swear, Heather, I gotta tell you, we have the world's dumbest callers on this show. It amazes me. Every night, I've been here three and a half years and I walk out of here flabbergasted and how stupid our callers are every night.

16:08🔗 Caller But the ones that idolize you are the worst.

16:11🔗 Adam No, no, they are angels. What are you talking about?

16:14🔗 Caller They can do no wrong.

16:15🔗 Adam They can do no wrong.

16:16🔗 Caller The metal workers in community college, those guys say all of you.

16:20🔗 Adam You got a call picked out there, Bruce?

16:22🔗 Caller How about...

16:22🔗 Adam Bruce? You're ridiculous. Get a pen, get a goddamn pen. How many times can you use the excuse of your marker not working, by the way?

16:32🔗 Caller You set me up every night, but...

16:34🔗 Adam Please.

16:34🔗 Caller I'll get you a pen.

16:35🔗 Adam Bo?

16:36🔗 Yeah.

16:36🔗 Adam You're 17.

16:37🔗 Caller That's right.

16:38🔗 Adam You're on with Heather Kozar. She is the 1999 playmate of the year. Hey.

16:43🔗 Caller Hi, Bo.

16:44🔗 Caller Hi. How you doing? Good.

16:45🔗 Caller How are you?

16:46🔗 Caller Absolutely wonderful.

16:47🔗 Adam What's going on, Bo?

16:49🔗 Caller Well, I had a family reunion like two weeks ago, right? And like my second cousin and I are attractive to each other, you know? And I just wasn't sure if that was like weird. You know, is that like too close or is that like starting to get far away?

17:05🔗 Adam How old is she?

17:06🔗 Caller She's 17 too.

17:08🔗 Caller There's no, I don't believe there's a law against that. The closer you get, obviously, the higher the chance of some sort of genetic problem if you have kids. But it doesn't mean you're sick. There doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

17:18🔗 Adam And what do you mean the closer you get? Well, you mean, oh, you mean the increase in blood, right? Yeah, but it really isn't that isn't a lot of that sort of popular myth. I mean, there's some there's some science to it, but not that much.

17:35🔗 Caller No, that's there's a lot of science to that. Because if you take a mutation or if you take an abnormality that's just in that family, for instance, and you take two members that have that, which would be extremely unlikely to find that specific genetic abnormality in the general population, take two close relatives.

17:52🔗 Adam But how often do families have a specific abnormality?

17:55🔗 Caller Well, it doesn't have to be a specific abnormality.

17:59🔗 Adam Let me explain something to the people at home. Whenever you hear that five seconds of silence, that means he's stumped. And it's better when you're here because he flails a little bit.

18:08🔗 Caller No, it's because I'm trying to think of a very...

18:10🔗 Adam Because his arm moves around a little.

18:13🔗 Caller I'm trying to think of a very basic way of explaining it.

18:15🔗 Adam No, okay, but here's what I want to say. Brothers... here's what I mean. Society thinks that if I go and have sex with my sister, and I would never have sex with my sister, possibly oral sex, but not for an occasion with my sister, that I would give birth to something that was like webfooted and was short an arm or had an extra arm. Now, that's probably not true. My kid wouldn't be as healthy as if Heather and I had some kids. That's for god damn sure. Very healthy. But, it probably wouldn't come out webfooted or anything like that. Now, if I went to my cousin, it would be a little bit less, and if I went to my second cousin, it would be even less than that, and probably not even an issue at that point. Right. Is that true?

18:57🔗 Caller Yes.

18:57🔗 Adam Okay. But, be that as it may, we don't recommend it.

19:01🔗 Caller Right.

19:02🔗 Adam Okay.

19:02🔗 Caller There's no law against it. I think there is a law against first cousins. I don't think so.

19:05🔗 Adam Right.

19:06🔗 Caller But, there's no law?

19:09🔗 Caller We're making plans.

19:10🔗 Adam Bo, how often do you see her? Who is this? I mean, explain the second cousin. She is whose daughter?

19:16🔗 Caller It's my mother's cousin's daughter.

19:19🔗 Caller Right, second cousin.

19:20🔗 Adam Your mother's cousin's daughter.

19:22🔗 Caller Where does she live?

19:23🔗 Caller She lives like in Temecula.

19:25🔗 Caller And where do you live?

19:25🔗 Caller Yucaypa.

19:27🔗 Caller All right.

19:28🔗 Adam Where is Yucaypa in relation to Temecula?

19:32🔗 Caller It's like 45 minutes away.

19:35🔗 Adam Oh, okay. And where's Temecula? That's North of here, right?

19:40🔗 Caller It's outside San Diego.

19:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:42🔗 Adam Oh, I always get that mixed up. Yeah. Yeah.

19:45🔗 Caller So, I mean, you know what? There's plenty of people to go out with. If there's some attraction here that you can't possibly withstand, then you're not going to get to.

19:55🔗 Adam It sounds like trouble. Yeah. But it's not so much the... Heather, you ever date a cousin or family member?

20:03🔗 Caller No.

20:04🔗 Adam No.

20:05🔗 Caller Maybe it's kind of... You think that you shouldn't be doing it, so maybe you're even more attracted to it.

20:12🔗 Adam It's a little taboo to it.

20:14🔗 Caller Maybe you should ask his family how they feel about it.

20:17🔗 Adam I think it's not so much taboo as it is just desperation. What I mean is, it's like when you're a kid, when you're young, your best friend is your neighbor, your best friend is a guy who lives across the street, your best friend is someone who sits behind you in class. Magically, they're your best friend. Well, it's not they're your best friend. It's just they happen to live near you and you don't have a car. And this is why when people are dating, they end up dating their friend's date or their friend's girlfriend or their friend's sister. It's like everyone gets thrown into a group and no one has a car. So you're screwed. When you get older, you get a car, you move around, you travel around the country. You can really then depict who you're attracted to and who you're not attracted to. But these people get thrown together. They sit all day drinking wine coolers on a picnic table, the reunion, and the juices get flowing. And he doesn't have anyone at his high school who likes him. So he's on to a second cousin. And that's the way it works.

21:13🔗 Caller Makes sense.

21:14🔗 Caller But at this point, before he's acted out, before he has any strong feelings, he should just forget about it and date around, find somebody. You have enough stuff stacked in his head.

21:22🔗 Adam If he could date around, he wouldn't be in to a second cousin. That's my point. But he should attempt to date around. Because if he gets going with this and it doesn't go right, then you got the full family thing in, and Christmas, and holidays, and it's a mess. Okay. Heather Kozars here. She's the 1999 Playmate of the Year. Where do you go after this? You go out of town or something? Oh, wait a minute. I'll tell you where you go. She goes to the Playmate Expo. The Playboy Expo, I think it says, but I'm not sure.

21:50🔗 Caller That's what I meant, the Playboy Expo.

21:52🔗 Adam You could be right. I don't know. That is Saturday and Sunday. And where is it? It's at the Pacific Design Center?

21:58🔗 Caller On Melrose Avenue, and it's going to be, I believe, from 10 to 6 on Saturday, and 11 to 7 on Sunday, and there's going to be 210 Playmates. Hugh Hefner will be there, and there will be a lot of celebrities that have actually posed for the magazine, including Sable, the wrestler.

22:16🔗 Adam Sure.

22:17🔗 Caller And everything Playboy.

22:19🔗 Adam And what are they going to be doing? I mean, are they selling things or signing things?

22:23🔗 Caller Signing autographs. We're also going to be doing photo ops on Hef's round bed.

22:28🔗 Adam And they transported Hef's round bed?

22:32🔗 Caller Mm-hmm, from Chicago.

22:33🔗 Adam And Hef sleeps on an inflatable mattress that night? Or is there a replica of Hef's round bed? Or how does it work?

22:39🔗 Caller Well, it was his round bed that he had in the Chicago mansion.

22:43🔗 Adam God knows what's on that bed. Crabs, Hepatitis, I mean, you really imagine what has been done and put on to that bed.

22:52🔗 Caller You're going to invite Adam to this?

22:55🔗 Adam Yeah, I might come out there. I'm big with the playmates.

22:57🔗 Caller There's also going to be a casino and a cocktail lounge for Playboy Cigars.

23:02🔗 Adam There'll be plenty of parking because it's right in the heart of Boys Town, that Pacific Design Center. So there's not going to be one local there. Just a bunch of guys walking their poodles past and turning their noses up at the Breeders. Okay, we'll take a little break. We'll talk a little more Playboy and a little more venereal disease and whatever problems you have after this.

23:29🔗 Caller Woodstock 99 Pay-Per-View. Where you can see more live as it happens, uncut and uncensored, than all of the 250,000 crazy fans who are actually there. July 23rd, 24th and 25th. 65 hours of today's hottest bands. Exclusive live performances only on Woodstock 99 Pay-Per-View. Call your cable or satellite company.

23:59🔗 Love Line's phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. Love Line, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

24:15🔗 Not hard to swallow. We've got a frog in our throat. Lick it up. It's Love Line.

24:22🔗 W-E-B-N.

24:34🔗 Adam All right, where the hell was I? Where's my piece of paper? Heather Kozar is our guest tonight. She is the 1999 Playmate of the Year. She got herself a, well, said 289, but it's a 427 Shelby Cobra replica. And is it the Cobra replica? Because he also has another car that he's coming out with.

24:59🔗 Caller It's the new Series 1. Is that the one you're speaking of?

25:03🔗 Adam Listen, once you dump that guy, we'll sit around and talk about cars all day long. Nothing physical at first. Yeah, but you're getting the Cobra replica.

25:15🔗 Caller Yeah, the Playmate of the Year last year, Karen, she received the Series 1. And now I'm getting the remake of the 1965.

25:21🔗 Adam Right, which is just the world's most wicked car. It's all aluminum. It probably weighs 1,900 pounds and it has a big block eight-cylinder engine that's probably good for about 400 horsepower, maybe a little more. So it's pretty crazy. Plus, the new one, you know, you got your disc brakes and a few things worked out. The old one's just all engine and didn't really even have the other suspension.

25:49🔗 Caller Well, they said they're going to add some other things in there, so maybe.

25:51🔗 Adam Yours isn't pink though, is it?

25:53🔗 Caller No, they're going to make me a special color red.

25:56🔗 Adam A special color red?

25:57🔗 Caller Like, they're only going to make one red car, and it's going to be the playmate of your car, and they'll never make that again in the same color.

26:04🔗 Adam How does this work? Like I said, when I was growing up, I saw, like, for instance, whoever won in 77 got a moped. And, like, I think she got, like, 400 lineal feet of Z-brake to go along with that. But how does it work that you're calling the shots? You don't want the small block 289. You want the big block 427. You want the color. You got the color. They should just give you what you got. And then, pardon me, you're very beautiful and everything. But my attitude would be, you get the motorcycle, you get the car, and you don't get to pick out the color of the car.

26:38🔗 Caller Well, actually, Shelby, they're a really great company. And Don Rager, the president of the company, I've been discussing it with him, and he's given me the options.

26:48🔗 Adam I see.

26:48🔗 Caller So that's, you know, I'm not demanding or anything.

26:51🔗 Adam You will pick the car up.

26:53🔗 Caller Actually, the car is going to stay in Las Vegas. Because I have nowhere to keep it, and you cannot drive it.

26:58🔗 Adam Now, I'll keep it. Here on the street. Well, it is street legal. It's just, you would raise quite a ruckus, especially that.

27:06🔗 Caller And you can't get very, you know, far very fast anyways. Just about on the track and race it.

27:11🔗 Adam All right. And yeah, hang on to it. That thing is going to be worse something. All right. We ready to move forward here, Bruce? All righty. Danielle?

27:20🔗 Yeah.

27:21🔗 Adam You're 18.

27:22🔗 Caller Yes.

27:22🔗 Adam What's going on?

27:23🔗 Caller Well, I'm actually, I'm in California. I'm visiting from out of town and visiting my family's here. And I have a cousin who's like 12 and he's been, I've just heard some very, very strange things about him from his mother and my cousin. Some very strange things that he's doing. His mother just had a baby and she's about maybe a month and a half old and it's really weird because he was telling my mom that while her boyfriend was at her house, the father of the baby while they were having sex and he was underneath the bed laughing and they could, they could hear him and they didn't know. And then she got him out from under the bed.

28:03🔗 Adam Hold on. What do you mean? They could hear him, but they didn't know. Oh, what does that mean?

28:08🔗 Caller They didn't know he was there at first, but I guess she heard him laughing and her boyfriend was like, I mean, from what I heard was like really, you know, freaked out about it when they asked him about all he was doing was just laughing.

28:21🔗 Adam He's 12 years old.

28:22🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean, that's not the first time he had done it. And he's, like I said, he's 12 and I know he's a little boy.

28:32🔗 Adam And where's his biological dad?

28:35🔗 Caller Well, his mother left. He went to jail and I guess his mother messed around on him while he was in jail. So they got a divorce after he got out of jail. Yeah, you don't.

28:47🔗 Adam That's great. Hey, listen, honey, I'm divorcing him because while I was in prison, you cheated on me, you little bitch. Now, I know I was in for eight years, but you know, with good behavior, I'd be paroled in six and there's no excuse. Yeah. You do not, you do not betray a man by cheating while he's in jail, right Bruce? I agree. This whole family is a mess.

29:13🔗 Caller What are their acting out behaviors? What are their acting out type stuff?

29:18🔗 Caller Well, I guess this is not weird, but I mean, I know he collects beanie babies, and I think that's kind of weird and all his little girls, all his little friends are girls, younger girls.

29:28🔗 Adam Well, listen, you better hope this kid goes gay, otherwise he's going to be a serial killer.

29:33🔗 Caller You know, that's what I think. Sometimes I think that, but then it's like, and also we were at a wedding, and he was hiding under the table, and my cousin says to me, you know what, he was under the table, and I think he was looking up my skirt.

29:46🔗 Adam Yeah, well, okay.

29:47🔗 Caller You know what, this kid sounds pretty normal for what he's been through. It's not healthy to be in the same room under the bed when adults are having sex, and visualizing that can be harmful. So that's a problem. The kid doesn't sound like he's doing anything more than he's going to himself sometimes.

30:04🔗 Adam Although, listen, his dad was in jail. His mom's a little out of control.

30:08🔗 Caller Right, the parents.

30:09🔗 Adam The future doesn't look bright, but I don't know what the hell you do about it. Can you get mama to settle down a little bit?

30:16🔗 Caller That's like a whole nother story. That's a whole nother topic.

30:20🔗 Adam Does she have any other kids?

30:22🔗 Caller Yeah, she has another son who's gonna be a sophomore. And he's okay, I mean, he's pretty much, you know.

30:29🔗 Caller Well, just tell her to start checking under the bed first.

30:31🔗 Adam Yeah, tell her to start doing it on the lower bunk from now on.

30:36🔗 Caller I mean, the problem is that people out there that have kids don't get training, they don't have to get a license, anybody can have a kid, and then it's their responsibility and it's very difficult to intercede. But if somebody in the family can help them structure a more stable home for the kid.

30:52🔗 Adam Yeah, Danielle needs to, I...

30:56🔗 Caller Danielle's got great intentions.

30:57🔗 Adam She's great, she's got to take care of herself. I think the kid will be alright. And let's put it this way, if he's not going to be alright, there's not much you're going to do about it. Should we all just kill ourselves now? Heather, you have any sisters?

31:10🔗 Caller Mm-hmm, I have an older sister.

31:11🔗 Adam Oh, really? How old?

31:13🔗 Caller She's 28.

31:14🔗 Adam What's she look like?

31:17🔗 Caller We don't look exactly alike, we have a little bit of resemblance.

31:21🔗 Adam Is she married?

31:22🔗 Caller Yeah, well, no, I mean, I was going to say, she lives in Ohio and no, she's not married.

31:27🔗 Adam Yeah, is she jealous of you?

31:29🔗 Caller No, not at all, no, because she's a professional, she works at a hospital and I mean, I do what I do, so we're just both very proud of each other for-

31:37🔗 Adam What you do?

31:38🔗 Caller Our different accomplishments.

31:39🔗 Adam Sure, yeah, she's emptying bedpans for seven bucks an hour and you're traveling the world in your new Shelby Cobra. Sure, same life.

31:49🔗 Caller I take her for a ride every now and then.

31:52🔗 Adam Oh, she wants to kill you, are you kidding me? She must want to kill you. And was it always a dream of yours to be in Playboy?

32:00🔗 Caller No, I'd never even seen a magazine until like five or six years ago, so it wasn't a dream of mine.

32:06🔗 Adam Did somebody submit you? Did you submit yourself?

32:09🔗 Caller A photographer friend of mine in Akron, Ohio told me about a model search for the book of lingerie and so I pretty much just went up and tested.

32:17🔗 Adam So you're just an aspiring model, actress doing some bikini modeling, that kind of stuff?

32:23🔗 Caller I like to try new things, live at risk.

32:26🔗 Adam You know the thing that's cool about being in Playboy now is 25 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago, whenever the thing was getting started and even up until sort of like the last 10, 15 years, there's a little stigma around it. It's like, hey, you're posing naked. What do your friends, what do your parents think? Well, what's your boyfriend think or husband or whatever? You know, it's a little stigmatized. Now it's like, oh, thank God she's not doing stump porn. Thank God she's not like underneath some goat doing something. I mean, there's so much bizarre stuff going on on the Internet. There's so much graphic porn and all the stuff is like, oh, we got like a it's five way anal gangbang porn and all this. You're doing play. You're doing Playboy. That's like nothing. I mean, it's like it's nothing. It's actually it's just art at this point. You might as well just be, you know, posing for a for a painter. It's a zero. I mean, it was it was a little bit of a deal 20 years ago. But now it's like there's so many more things that are so far past the posing nude for Playboy that you get the money, you get the cars, you get the recognition and it's cool. It's no more stigma. What a great time for you to be alive, huh Heather?

33:45🔗 Caller Absolutely.

33:47🔗 Adam Krista?

33:48🔗 Caller Yes.

33:48🔗 Adam You're 26.

33:49🔗 Caller Yes.

33:50🔗 Adam What's going on?

33:50🔗 Caller I just wanted to thank Dr. Bruce because I was listening last night and he said something that wasn't horribly insightful, but it really resonated with me.

34:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:01🔗 Adam Well, you can listen for a long time before he says something horribly insightful.

34:05🔗 Caller Continue with your relevant comment.

34:10🔗 Caller Well, you were talking to some woman. I can't even remember what she was talking about, but of course, you're going on the thing about how sex should be between two people and it's sacred and should be in a committed relationship. It just clicked, like it made sense for me. I'm just starting to see someone now and I feel a lot less anxious about sleeping with them than I did before last night.

34:39🔗 Adam Because you're not going to sleep with them?

34:41🔗 Dr. Bruce Not for a while.

34:42🔗 Adam This guy's going to put a hit on Bruce now.

34:46🔗 Caller That's fine. He'll thank me later.

34:47🔗 Adam Right.

34:48🔗 Caller No, but I just wanted to thank you.

34:50🔗 Caller You're welcome.

34:51🔗 All right, Krista.

34:52🔗 Adam Fantastic. Isn't it always a little disappointing when people repeat back insightful or humorous or witty things that you said? Like they go, they go, oh, man, you said that thing. Oh, it was so funny there. And this guy called in and he was talking about his dog. And you said, shut up, fat ass. And you go, yeah, yeah, it was real funny. And you go, oh, I thought it was going to be something good. Like, it's always a little disappointing. Not not that that wasn't horribly insightful that don't have sex immediately. I know you pioneered that, but weren't you expecting something just a little wittier, something a little more interesting?

35:32🔗 Caller No, because you're always ragging on me whenever I say that and saying, oh, it's a Christian comment. I'm just saying it's a I know.

35:37🔗 Adam But weren't you expecting, weren't you kind of hoping that Christa would would repeat something that's just a slightly more profound and bad night last night?

35:45🔗 I don't think I said anything.

35:46🔗 Adam I didn't remember anything either. And now I know I'm right. Heather, you're religious, right?

35:52🔗 Caller I'm a Christian also.

35:53🔗 Adam And you're... nothing wrong... listen, I happen to be an atheist, but I know that's... that's not... I know it's a little bit naughty, but I think that kind of excites you, right? The atheist, that naughty atheist guy, he could cuss at any time.

36:10🔗 Caller Whatever works for you.

36:11🔗 Adam You go to church every Sunday?

36:13🔗 Caller No, I do not.

36:14🔗 Adam You come from a Christian family?

36:16🔗 Caller Yes, I was actually pretty much raised in the church and very involved when I was growing up. And I mean, I have my own relationship with God. And I think that you don't have to go to church every Sunday to be considered a Christian and especially during football season.

36:33🔗 Adam When people do that, not you, you're not doing it. I guess I got my own personal relationship with Christ. I don't believe you have to go to church to worship or give a parowin or stop eating your wife to have a relationship with the Almighty. You know what I mean? Put down the booze or stop the sodomy or the infidelity. I don't believe you have to do that in order to have a relationship with Jesus Christ or settle on just one wife or any of that stuff. Stop planting pipe bombs in the federal building. I believe you can still have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and not leave the confines of your own basement where you're conducting a lot of experiments.

37:13🔗 Caller At least she's just talking about church.

37:15🔗 Adam Oh, I see. My man went on too long there. Are your folks okay with the Playboy stuff and all that, being religious folk?

37:24🔗 Caller It's not my mother's first choice, but she's proud of me.

37:28🔗 Adam Yeah, but you really should just throw her an issue of hustler, swank, or shaved or something.

37:35🔗 Caller I think she would probably combust.

37:40🔗 Adam All right, she'll get used to it. We'll take ourselves a little break. Okay, you may have disappointed your mother, but think how much happiness you're bringing to the rest of the world. And that's the way Jesus would have wanted it. Heather Kozar, 1999 Playmate of the Year is here. Dr. Bruce, who holds no title, is here. He's filling in for Dr. Drew. He does have qualifications, although he's not revealed them to me or the listening audience yet in the three days he's been here. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

38:09🔗 You have 5 Seconds of Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

38:15🔗 Caller Back in a minute.

38:28🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, I'm happy 2.1 KFMA.

38:41🔗 Adam Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew. Dr. Bruce is qualified. He is board certified addiction medicine, emergency medicine, does a lot of work, loves the kids. He's really, he's really, if everyone was like Bruce, we'd be living in a, in a nice world. It'd be a little boring. A little, music would probably be pretty bad, but it'd be a safe, safe, quiet community we all lived in. Bruce, you going to the ER tonight?

39:15🔗 Caller No.

39:15🔗 Adam No, you don't have to go into work tonight?

39:17🔗 Caller No.

39:18🔗 Adam But you did last night?

39:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:19🔗 Adam Bruce would leave this show and go to work when he's filling in for Drew, which meant his shift was like 1 a.m. to 6 a.m. Is that right?

39:28🔗 Caller Well, his shift was 9 a.m. to 6 a.m. so I had one of my good friends work for me.

39:32🔗 Adam I see. Oh, 9 a.m. to 6 a.m. Did you see anything last night? Anybody? Any gunshot wounds? Anything? Anything bizarre?

39:40🔗 Caller No. Pretty quiet.

39:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

39:44🔗 Caller There's always people coming through, a lot of kids with ear aches during the night and also a lot of the adults that come through, a lot of them, if they don't have serious illnesses or a lot of psychiatric type things.

39:53🔗 Adam Is it, what percentage of people who go to the ER really need to go there? You know what I'm saying?

40:02🔗 Caller That's a tough, it depends.

40:03🔗 Adam 25%?

40:05🔗 Caller Yeah. It depends on the ER. If you have a trauma center, if you have a busy county or city, you are probably a higher percentage of individuals really need to be there. And today there's less use of the ER as a primary care center, which used to occur more frequently. People are shunted away to clinics and things like that.

40:20🔗 Adam But as someone comes in, they have a sore throat or a headache or something. I mean, it seems bad to them, but there's really nothing you can do, right?

40:28🔗 Caller No.

40:28🔗 Adam Go home, put a towel on your head, leave it alone.

40:32🔗 Caller The important thing is what the person is thinking is more important. If somebody brings their child, for instance, I try and emphasize to the parents, don't feel, you know, if they end up not having anything serious, I say, you know what, don't feel bad. You should have come. Because some say, oh, I shouldn't have come in. I knew it. But they didn't know that. And that's a good parent. And it's the parents out there that are neglecting or not bringing their kids in. So there's certain cases where you never want to show any frustration about, well, why are you here?

40:56🔗 Right. But.

40:57🔗 Adam All right. What's the average, what's the average weight at your ER?

41:01🔗 Caller The average weight, probably in two hours.

41:05🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:05🔗 Caller An hour or two hours.

41:06🔗 Adam Last time I went to an ER, I sat around for two hours and I went home. I was actually cured myself. I just sat there for so goddamn long. I just decided, oh, screw it, I'll go die at home. I want to be amongst my family and friends when I die, instead of next to some guy who's vomiting into a trash can.

41:22🔗 Caller Yeah, they found, and not of course at RER, but at a local ER, they found a patient dead in a seat. He'd been waiting five hours and when they went to get him, he was deceased.

41:30🔗 Adam Yeah. Sad part is they still charged him. Same amount, right?

41:34🔗 Caller You haven't been charged in yet.

41:35🔗 Adam Okay. Cora?

41:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:39🔗 Adam You're 15.

41:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:41🔗 Adam You're on with Heather Kozar. She's the playmate of the year.

41:44🔗 Caller Hello, Cora. Hello.

41:46🔗 Caller Okay. I'm in Reno.

41:47🔗 Adam Hold on a second. What the hell is this? This is a Viagra package. What is this, Bruce?

41:53🔗 Caller Is that yours?

41:54🔗 Caller Don't look at me.

41:55🔗 Adam No.

41:56🔗 Caller You said you're having a problem with the swelling.

41:58🔗 Adam There's a Viagra.

42:00🔗 Caller That's why you're swelling now.

42:02🔗 Caller Okay.

42:03🔗 Adam There's a Viagra. There's an expired Viagra package that was in my little notepad here. If I boiled it, I could probably get like a little dose out of this and drink it. It's embarrassed, doesn't it?

42:17🔗 Caller He's a little embarrassed.

42:18🔗 Adam Wait a minute. Why would I yank this out? I just saw it underneath this thing.

42:21🔗 Caller I thought it fell out of your pocket.

42:24🔗 Adam No, seriously. Seriously. It's a five pack and they're all gone.

42:30🔗 Caller It took five.

42:32🔗 Adam I figured Heather was coming in. I had to kick it up a notch. You know what I mean?

42:36🔗 Caller You better stand back.

42:38🔗 Adam Seriously. Did you bring this in here?

42:39🔗 Caller I've never seen it before.

42:40🔗 Adam Heather?

42:41🔗 Caller Sorry. Don't take them.

42:43🔗 Adam All right. Look around this place. What about this kilo of Coke? Is that yours, Heather? Is that yours, Bruce?

42:50🔗 Caller It's pharmaceutical.

42:52🔗 Adam Go ahead, Cora.

42:53🔗 Caller Okay. I'm in Reno visiting my family. I'm originally from Chathworth area in California.

43:00🔗 Adam Right.

43:01🔗 Caller And my cousin's 17. I'm 15. And this guy named Jesse, he's 17. And my cousin's like all over Jesse, but Jesse wants to get with me and me to be his first. And I want to know what I should do.

43:14🔗 Adam How old's your cousin?

43:16🔗 Caller 17.

43:17🔗 Adam 17 and Jesse's 17.

43:19🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

43:20🔗 Adam And he doesn't like your cousin?

43:22🔗 Caller No.

43:23🔗 Adam How do you know?

43:24🔗 Caller Because he told me.

43:26🔗 Adam Yeah, but he may have told her that he doesn't like you. All right. Anyway, is he doing anything with your cousin?

43:34🔗 Caller No.

43:34🔗 Adam No. They haven't fooled around?

43:37🔗 Caller No.

43:38🔗 Caller He told you he wants to have sex with you?

43:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:41🔗 Adam And why is it that he feels it's okay to tell you that he wants to have sex with you? It's pretty forward.

43:50🔗 Caller I don't know.

43:51🔗 Adam You don't know?

43:52🔗 Caller I have no idea.

43:53🔗 Adam What did you say when he said he wanted to have sex with you?

43:56🔗 Caller I said, well, I'd have to be in a relationship first.

43:58🔗 Adam All right. All right. And that'll take about 10 minutes?

44:02🔗 Caller Basically.

44:04🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. Now that I'm technically in, it's like I've deputized you as a girlfriend. Now, give me a BJ, would you please? Is that what that is?

44:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:13🔗 Adam Okay.

44:15🔗 Caller Isn't that sort of like an insult to you that you're an object, he just wants to have sex with you basically?

44:21🔗 Caller Not really.

44:22🔗 Caller So that's okay?

44:26🔗 Adam You look at his flattering, he's interested that way?

44:30🔗 In a sense.

44:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Okay. And so let me get this right, you come from the Chatsworth area.

44:35🔗 Uh-huh.

44:37🔗 Adam That is the armpit of the valley, that Chatsworth, I used to work in that Chatsworth. And I used to work on Owen's Mouth off of Devonshire.

44:44🔗 Caller I live by Devonshire and Kenoga.

44:47🔗 Adam Oh, it's like, I swear during this time of the year, it's like 180 degrees there. I worked in this cinder block dump over there with no air conditioning. Actually, everyone in Chatsworth is so stupid. All they have is those swamp coolers, which really don't do anything. They just make noise. So you get a slight psychological advantage. You think you're being cooled off because there's something above your head going, ooh, but it doesn't do anything.

45:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:14🔗 Adam So, okay, so you got out of Chatsworth, are you out of Chatsworth now?

45:17🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm in Reno, Nevada.

45:19🔗 Adam You're in Reno, like for the summer?

45:21🔗 Caller Well, I go home in nine days.

45:22🔗 Adam And where are you staying in Reno?

45:25🔗 Caller My aunt's house.

45:27🔗 Adam Your aunt's house?

45:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:29🔗 Adam And so you're there with your cousin and your aunt and you're in Reno and Jesse, he lives in Reno.

45:36🔗 Caller Mm-hmm, he lives like maybe five minutes away walking distance.

45:39🔗 Adam And he's a local guy?

45:40🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

45:41🔗 Adam Yeah, see, it smells like trouble because if you guys do have a relationship and then you've got to go back to Chatsworth, especially Chatsworth, you're going to want to kill yourself and you're 15, you're not going to be able to get back to Reno.

45:54🔗 Caller How many relationships have you been in?

45:56🔗 Caller Um, well, I've had a bad childhood and then I've been in about three or four.

46:03🔗 Adam What's bad about your childhood?

46:05🔗 Caller Bad childhood.

46:07🔗 Adam Oh, let me write that down. What was bad about the childhood? Was it the childhood was bad?

46:13🔗 Caller So dad was abusive or not around or alcoholic or all of the above?

46:18🔗 Caller All of the above.

46:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

46:21🔗 Dr. Bruce My mom wasn't around.

46:22🔗 Adam Right.

46:23🔗 Caller My mom still isn't around.

46:24🔗 Adam Well, who are you living with in Chatsworth?

46:27🔗 Caller Basically myself, cause my mom pays for the house and my stepdad, but nobody's home.

46:33🔗 Caller It's just me.

46:34🔗 Adam Where are they?

46:36🔗 Caller Out doing whatever.

46:38🔗 Adam Well, okay, they have jobs and stuff, but don't they come home?

46:41🔗 Caller Well, my stepdad owns a 7-Eleven. And he just, they're going through a divorce, so he's never home.

46:49🔗 Adam Right, okay.

46:49🔗 Caller And my mom's out gallivanting, doing whatever she wants.

46:54🔗 Adam Oh, boy. And you don't, do you have any brothers or sisters?

46:57🔗 Caller No, my mom's 30.

46:59🔗 Adam Oh, your mom's 30 and you're 15?

47:01🔗 Dr. Bruce Uh-huh.

47:02🔗 Adam Wow. That's nice, so you get to be the parent. Well, listen, here's the deal, Cora. You're on a collision course with pregnancy and venereal disease and prostitution and heartache, and you got a whole bunch of stuff. You got a whole bunch of issues and I know it all gets focused toward men and it's great because here's a guy who's going to show you some attention because your real dad never gave you attention and you're like this cup with no bottom on it. You just keep pouring attention into it and you can never get enough, but it's never going to, you're just going to go through a bunch of guys and you're going to get pregnant and you're going to get your heart broken and you're still going to feel like crap at the end of it.

47:44🔗 Caller Well, I have a question. Could this be like a counter reaction of me getting raped from the age of 7 to 11 by my great-grandfather?

47:51🔗 Adam Your great-grandfather?

47:53🔗 Caller Yes. What happens when you have that kind of abuse, you either tend to repeat that kind of behavior or you get into therapy and somehow you work through it.

48:03🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second. Cora?

48:05🔗 Caller Yeah?

48:06🔗 Adam We got to take a break.

48:07🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay.

48:08🔗 Adam Just hang on a second. I know we talked to you longer than we should have, but we're going to make a rare exception because you're raped by a great-grandfather.

48:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:16🔗 Adam And how old is your great-grandfather?

48:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, he just died last month.

48:22🔗 Adam Oh, that's good.

48:24🔗 Caller Seventy-three. He did this to six others in my family.

48:28🔗 Adam He did what?

48:29🔗 Caller He raped six others in my family, including me. All right.

48:32🔗 Adam Now, I don't want to pass judgment, but I'm going to downgrade him from great to good. You know what I'm saying? Because, yeah, you rape six people in your family. You cannot put great. In front of your name. Right, Bruce? Right. Okay. We'll take a little break and we'll be back.

48:47🔗 Caller Loveline be right back in a minute.

49:14🔗 Adam It is Loveline. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout, and we'll be back with more of The Fabulous Show in just 10 seconds.

49:26🔗 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

49:39🔗 Adam Hey, hey, hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce. Filling in for Dr. Drew, just as qualified. Maybe a little rough around the edges, but he knows all the medical techs, believe me. Heather Kozar is our guest. She is the 1999 Playmate of the Year. She's got herself a Cobra and a BMW motorcycle to prove it. She looks amazing. And I'll tell you, we should get married because we were talking about our political views during the commercial break there about how pedophiles should all be rounded up and killed and for society's good. And I think we're all in agreement here.

50:16🔗 Caller Bruce, it's a convincing argument.

50:18🔗 Adam Kill him.

50:19🔗 Caller Heather, absolutely.

50:20🔗 Adam Kill him.

50:20🔗 Caller Absolutely torture him the way they torture children.

50:24🔗 Adam I just want to put him down. I think that's enough punishment. And everyone's always trying to talk these guys out of it. But listen, I take a look at this Heather, this big beautiful breast, the supple, tight asses, the pouting big lips. And that's exciting to me. It really is. And you couldn't talk me out of that. You couldn't talk. If Bruce had testicles, you couldn't talk him out of that either. That's my thing. You can't talk me out of that. And if you lock me up in prison for 10 years, I just want more of it when I got out. You know, that's my thing. And when you talk to some 65 year old guy who really gets a chubby when a 7 year old comes in, I don't think you're going to be able to talk him out of that any more than you're going to be able to talk me out of Heather. You're right. I'm sorry I had to use you for an example.

51:14🔗 Caller That's okay.

51:15🔗 Adam Or talk Heather out of me for that. Right, Heather?

51:17🔗 Caller Yeah, you never know.

51:18🔗 Adam Yeah, I do. No, I think I know. The point is even more so you can't talk that guy out of that one because it's even more off the beaten path and even more deviant and even I would even suggest stronger in a in its own way.

51:33🔗 Caller And then you end up with Cora's.

51:35🔗 Adam And then you get Cora. In which case we should just kill these people. But Cora's great grandfather had a pass at her. And I guess one of the problems of your mother getting pregnant when you're 15 is that you have a great grandfather who can have a go at you.

51:49🔗 Caller Got intuition and called for a reason. Hello.

51:52🔗 Adam All right. So anyway, Cora, you're thinking of here. Here's the thing, baby. You've been through a ton. You really have. On top of that, you're living in Chatsworth. And you're really you're I do you listen to this show?

52:05🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

52:05🔗 Adam Do you know what goes on on this show?

52:07🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

52:08🔗 Adam I am telling you, you are in a very high risk category. But the beauty is, is it's not like cancer or diabetes or something you have to wait around to see about. You're in control. You're at the helm of your own ship. All you have to do is not get pregnant, is stay in school, is get your grades up, is go to college, is take care, get your counseling, do everything you have to do to make a good life for yourself.

52:35🔗 Caller Okay.

52:35🔗 Caller It sounds like something is telling you this isn't the right thing to do and this isn't the right guy to do it with.

52:40🔗 Caller So thank you for showing up for the film.

52:41🔗 Adam No, don't do it.

52:42🔗 Caller You know, you remember I asked.

52:45🔗 Adam Don't get drunk with him. Don't even drink cough medicine around him.

52:49🔗 Caller Actually, I've already, that's already happened. I've already gotten drunk up here.

52:53🔗 Adam Yeah.

52:54🔗 Caller And he, he, all he did was help me. He didn't make a move at me, nothing.

52:58🔗 Adam All right.

52:58🔗 Caller But you know, what does that tell you? I mean, he sees that you have some issues and you have some problems maybe. And any guy that's going to sleep with you and go ahead is got serious problems themselves. And so.

53:09🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. He didn't make a move and she was drunk. So maybe he's teased.

53:12🔗 Caller That's what I said. Any guy.

53:13🔗 Adam Is that what you're saying?

53:14🔗 Caller Yeah, I said that earlier. Let me just ask her a question.

53:16🔗 Adam No, let's move on.

53:16🔗 Caller You're not even listening. No.

53:17🔗 Adam What do you want? Ask me. I speak for Cora. She's fine.

53:21🔗 Caller That's right. I could ask you about similar pathology.

53:24🔗 Adam But we've been talking to her for 10 minutes.

53:25🔗 Caller Right.

53:26🔗 Adam She's fine.

53:26🔗 Caller We've had some closure to it. That's a little more defined.

53:29🔗 Adam You know what your problem is? You want to help everybody. I just want to pretend like I'm helping them. Heather likes me.

53:34🔗 Caller I don't want to help you.

53:35🔗 Adam Okay. Listen, we got to move on.

53:37🔗 Caller Come on. 30 seconds.

53:38🔗 Adam Okay. Hurry.

53:39🔗 Caller Okay. Listen, Cora. Okay. Do you have any access to a counselor?

53:43🔗 Caller Well, I went to counseling for three years and she just made my life miserable.

53:47🔗 Caller Okay. But listen, you don't want to end up married to a guy like your great-grandfather.

53:51🔗 Caller No.

53:51🔗 Caller Okay. What happens? You almost get programmed to seek out people like that that are going to victimize you. And it sounds like you've got some intuition about that and you realize that and you don't want to do it. And the only way that you can avoid that is go to somebody you like that you can work with on this so that you end up with a guy that's going to treat you well and be good to you. But what your great-grandfather did sort of set you up for picking guys that are not going to be good to you. Does that make any sense? Yeah.

54:17🔗 Adam Okay, that was your 30 seconds. Oh, by the way, what day is it? Tuesday? Oh, man, I want to I want to tell people to watch The Man Show because we're on a day delay in certain places, but The Man Show is over by now because it's after 10th, it's 11 or whatever.

54:34🔗 Caller You're so self-centered and self-obsessed.

54:35🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm worried about my own ratings. Oh, please. Oh, she was molested. I got ratings issues going on here. Come on, Bruce, you got to prioritize, buddy. Katie?

54:46🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

54:46🔗 Adam You're 17.

54:47🔗 Dr. Bruce Yes.

54:47🔗 Adam No, I just had some time to think while you were rambling. That's all. The kids know I love them. Katie, what's your problem?

54:55🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, it's kind of complicated. But the basic thing is there's this guy that I love a lot and he loves me. But it's kind of, I don't know, I talked to counselors about this stuff in the past and they don't take it seriously because they say love happens after marriage and everything. But we went out for a year and then we broke up and it was really, really tough.

55:22🔗 Adam And he broke up with you?

55:25🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, it was kind of mutual. But yeah, it was his idea. If I agreed, it was a good idea. Right. Because we argued a lot and stuff.

55:31🔗 Adam Right. All right.

55:31🔗 Dr. Bruce We still love each other.

55:32🔗 Adam And how long ago was that?

55:34🔗 Dr. Bruce This was in October.

55:35🔗 Adam Yeah. That's a long time ago for a 17 year old.

55:38🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, you know.

55:40🔗 Caller How old is he?

55:41🔗 Dr. Bruce He's 16.

55:42🔗 Adam All right. OK. So what do you want?

55:44🔗 Dr. Bruce I want to know. OK. But we've started sleeping together again because we've come really close again.

55:50🔗 Adam Yeah. Meaning. Let me let me translate.

55:53🔗 Caller He's horny.

55:53🔗 Adam He starts sleeping again. He couldn't get laid like he thought he was going to get laid. And he's horny. Yes.

55:59🔗 Dr. Bruce Please. No, that's what everyone says to me. Please. No, understand. If you knew this guy, you'd understand that he loves me. I just think he's a little confused.

56:07🔗 Adam He's really good. That's good. I wish I could confuse a woman once. They always know exactly what I'm thinking.

56:12🔗 Dr. Bruce I mean, I know it's totally natural for him to want sex. I mean, he's 16, you know.

56:16🔗 Adam Okay. All right. He's a little confused. And so what are you going to do? Is he, does he have other girlfriends?

56:24🔗 Dr. Bruce He doesn't have any other girlfriends. In fact, he's only slept with one other person. It's just that he wants to sleep with a lot more.

56:29🔗 Adam Right. Well, I can see when you're confused. That's the best way to shed light on it.

56:33🔗 Caller So it sounds like you sympathize with him that he wants to sleep with a lot of other people and that's normal for a 16-year-old.

56:38🔗 Dr. Bruce But I get really jealous. That's the thing. It drives me insane. And he says that if I stop being jealous, I won't repress him as much and he'll be more likely to become monogamous.

56:52🔗 Caller Does this guy have a Ph.D. in something?

56:55🔗 Adam This guy's just excellent. Excellent. I'll tell you, I hope this guy comes out with some cassettes or something I can listen to on the drive into work so I can figure out how to manipulate women into my bidding. It's great and you like him. You know what, I swear to God, hold on a second, I swear I got to find one of these women. There's two types of women, I know it because you watch Jerry Springer and these other shows and this show for Christ's sake too. Some women, when you fool, 90% of women when you screw around on them want to kill you. Then there's that 10% who want to kill the chick you fooled around on. That's the woman I want. You know what I mean? You two go at it. I'll be over here, I'll be in the bedroom. Winner can just come right on in. Winner take all. That's what I love. I love watching that Jerry Springer and seeing the two women going at it while the guy's just sitting there going, yeah, it was with her I cheated with, honey. Go get her. Are you kidding me? Drew's wife, Drew's wife would kill him twice and wouldn't even care about the other one. Give me an idea what she would do to Drew.

58:00🔗 Caller Same thing my wife would do to me.

58:02🔗 Adam Yeah, I wish I could get one of these Katie types. Katie? Yeah. So what does the therapist do? Where's your screwball dad that made you feel so bad? Where's he?

58:14🔗 No.

58:14🔗 Adam Where is he?

58:15🔗 Dr. Bruce It's just so much more complicated.

58:16🔗 Adam Where's your dad?

58:17🔗 My dad is here.

58:18🔗 Dr. Bruce He's a doctor.

58:19🔗 Adam He works for law. Oh, he kind of abandoned you?

58:23🔗 Dr. Bruce No.

58:23🔗 Adam Come on.

58:24🔗 Dr. Bruce No, I swear. My dad's here. He works a ton.

58:27🔗 Adam I know. That's what I mean. Somebody dropped the ball with your self-esteem.

58:31🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, well, that's happened a lot.

58:33🔗 Adam You don't feel good about yourself.

58:34🔗 Caller How's it happened a lot? What's happened?

58:36🔗 Adam I don't know.

58:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Like, I make friends all the time, and then they totally... I mean, it's so high school, you know?

58:46🔗 They just back down.

58:47🔗 Adam Wait a minute. Were you like an overweight kid or something?

58:51🔗 I'm good-looking.

58:52🔗 Dr. Bruce I'm not bad.

58:53🔗 Adam Did your dad didn't pay attention to you growing up, though, as he was working?

58:57🔗 Dr. Bruce Not a lot, no. He threw out my birthday once.

59:00🔗 Adam All right. Sweet 16?

59:03🔗 Caller Okay. Look, you're assuming this guy needs sex and that it's some obligation you have to provide it for him.

59:10🔗 Dr. Bruce No, it's not an obligation. I just really enjoy it, too, but it's just hard.

59:14🔗 Adam But you have a self-esteem problem here, Katie.

59:19🔗 Dr. Bruce What do I do?

59:20🔗 Adam Well, you got to work on yourself and not work on him.

59:23🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, I don't want to work on him.

59:25🔗 Adam Well, yes, you do. You make excuses for the guy. He doesn't really want a relationship. He's just doing his own thing. He wanted to break up in the first place.

59:33🔗 Dr. Bruce I might want to work on him, but I definitely want to work on myself, and I've been trying, but...

59:36🔗 Adam You do? What are you trying?

59:38🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, like, I've gone to see about a billion psychiatrists. The last one was actually really good. Like, he told me a lot of stuff, but it was really impermanent. Like, I'd go see him, I'd be happy for a week, and I'd just get depressed.

59:49🔗 Adam All right, but it's like blaming the gym, because you went there twice, and then it's a year later, and you got a beer gut again. Hey, not a bad analogy, right?

59:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Very good.

59:59🔗 Adam Heather, is that attractive at all, that cool analogies? And coupled with my knowledge of the Shelby Empire.

1:00:06🔗 Caller I was very impressed by that.

1:00:07🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:00:08🔗 Dr. Bruce The other thing is, though, I'm on Prozac, and every time I go to one of these people, they just say, well, up the Prozac, another 10 million.

1:00:13🔗 Adam Okay.

1:00:14🔗 Caller Okay, psychiatrists work with the medication, a counselor's gonna work on a longer term basis, seeing you week by week, and working on issues, giving you things to do, and I'm not sure if that's what she's done. She needs to shut off the...

1:00:29🔗 Caller She needs to get away from that guy just to begin with.

1:00:31🔗 Adam Stop focusing with that. All her energy and neurosis on this guy who's just kind of having a good time.

1:00:38🔗 Caller You know, you're not asking Heather for...

1:00:39🔗 Adam Heather, what's up with you?

1:00:40🔗 Caller I just...

1:00:42🔗 Adam You ever had one of these relationships? Anyone ever dump you?

1:00:47🔗 Caller Yeah, actually, I have been dumped.

1:00:49🔗 Adam I love that story. I really do. It's always amazing. We have these like models in here and actresses and playmates and they all got dumped by somebody. And I'm always want to find that guy and go, wow, what did you go gay or did you get hit in the head? Or you have a brain tumor or something?

1:01:06🔗 Caller I got hit in the head after he cheated on me.

1:01:08🔗 Adam Oh, he cheated?

1:01:09🔗 Caller Yes, he cheated on me. And so...

1:01:11🔗 Adam You dumped him?

1:01:13🔗 Caller Well, no, he kind of dumped me after that.

1:01:16🔗 Adam How old were you?

1:01:17🔗 Caller I mean, I wouldn't stay with him anyway. I was 17.

1:01:20🔗 Adam Oh, he cheated on you?

1:01:21🔗 Caller I mean, high school is really a difficult time, so...

1:01:24🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:01:25🔗 Caller It was a blessing in disguise, I think, by the way.

1:01:28🔗 Adam How old was he?

1:01:30🔗 Caller Maybe six months older than me.

1:01:31🔗 Adam Oh, substantial age difference. Well, here's the problem. Here's the deal. I'm sure you're 23 now, so you couldn't have been a dog in high school. You probably looked okay in high school. And so you're going out with one of the more popular guys. Good-looking guy, right?

1:01:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:47🔗 Adam Maybe played on the football team or something like that.

1:01:50🔗 Caller Well, this was at a vocational school, so they didn't really have a football team.

1:01:54🔗 Adam Well, he was one of the champion welders or something.

1:01:57🔗 Caller No, he was one of the greatest guys in the school.

1:01:59🔗 Adam All right. So you're going out. You're going out with a popular guy. And the thing is, is that's the problem. It's a double-edged sword. You get Mr. Popular. But other people like Mr. Popular, too. That's what makes you Mr. Popular. Can't just be one person liking you. So he decides to spread it around a little. So in a way, if you were slumpier and you went out with a slumpier guy, he wouldn't have cheated. Is that what I'm saying?

1:02:22🔗 Caller Yeah, but that happened, too. I had friends that...

1:02:24🔗 Adam You had slumpy guys who cheated?

1:02:25🔗 Caller No, I had slumpy friends that had slumpy guys and the guys, you know...

1:02:29🔗 Adam What kind of... Yeah.

1:02:30🔗 Caller As soon as someone gets a girlfriend, then they're more attractive anyway, you know what I mean?

1:02:34🔗 Adam Oh, I know.

1:02:35🔗 Caller Because like they say, if men are like single or not married or alone by a certain age, then there's a reason why.

1:02:42🔗 Adam Right. Bruce, do you feel other women coming on to you as soon as you got married? Really? I thought you'd like that. No, just prostitutes, right? No. Hey, cruel. What kind of vocational school did you go to? Or why did you go to a vocational school?

1:03:01🔗 Caller Well, because I was in nurse assisting.

1:03:03🔗 Adam Oh, you were?

1:03:04🔗 Caller Yes. I was in for a year. I thought I wanted to work in a hospital.

1:03:07🔗 Adam Do you have that outfit still?

1:03:09🔗 Caller No. Actually, we didn't have very nice outfits. It was just, you know, scrubs and...

1:03:13🔗 Adam Yeah, but you doctor it up a little. You hike up the skirt.

1:03:16🔗 Caller I had the big red lipstick on. That was about it.

1:03:19🔗 Adam Wow. And so you went to... And this is in Ohio? And I don't think they have that out here. I mean, I think it's a great idea, by the way, which is... And if anyone from the school district is listening from any city that we're in, it's a great idea, which is, hey, by the eighth, ninth, tenth grade, you know who's going to college and who isn't. I mean, I was a horrible student, ninth grade, eighth grade. All my dickhead friends were horrible students. Nobody was going to college, but we all had to sit there pretending like we were going to go to college. And then everyone graduated high school and had nothing to do. We all went to wear carpet cleaning. No one had a skill. We could have been, you know, apprentice plumbers or electricians or masons or nurses.

1:04:06🔗 Caller They have computer classes and police officer classes.

1:04:10🔗 Adam Yeah, why not? I mean, why not? And let me, I got another thing to say. What is it with this, you're going to college, you're going to college, you could go to college, you might go to college. What is the big deal? I mean, look out in society. Three quarters of society hasn't gone to college at least. They still work. They make a living. We need people not to go to college, you idiots.

1:04:31🔗 Caller People ask me if I've ever gone to college or if I'm ever going to go. And not that I wouldn't consider going, but it just hasn't worked out for me at this time in my life. And I think that I'm much more successful than anyone that I've ever went to school with that graduated from college.

1:04:44🔗 Adam Well, please. They would have been in their first year at this point or third year of grad school or at the law office or whatever. They ain't driving around a Cobra. Actually, I was going to say, what Heather does is she actually took some tie downs and strapped the BMW on top of the Cobra and sits on top of that and has a small Asian woman steer the Cobra from underneath the dashboard. So it appears as if she's driving both vehicles right down Main Street of her hometown of Akron. Is it Akron? Yeah. Yeah, I like that vocational thing. So you decided you weren't going to college, you're going to be a nurse. And you know all that stuff?

1:05:26🔗 Caller I learned a lot of it, one of it's, you know, disappeared.

1:05:29🔗 Adam That's good. So by the time you're ready to graduate, you could learn to work in a doctor's world.

1:05:34🔗 Caller Yeah, you have a lot of credits already under your belt.

1:05:37🔗 Adam I wish they'd do that. I just sat, I was a ceramics major, I just sat in high school drooling, learning nothing, no skills, no nothing, and then everyone graduated and I never went to college. Yeah. Bruce with the silver spoon in his mouth. What college do you go to, Bruce?

1:05:55🔗 Caller Andrews University.

1:05:56🔗 Adam Who? Andrews?

1:05:58🔗 Caller Are you a Barron's College guide here? You know them all?

1:06:00🔗 Adam Andrews? Yeah. Yeah. Is that accredited? I've never heard of that. Where did you do your medical college?

1:06:09🔗 Caller Loma Linda.

1:06:10🔗 Caller University.

1:06:11🔗 Adam Okay. Katie?

1:06:13🔗 Caller Just telling me now that I've done a show.

1:06:14🔗 Adam All right. Wait a minute. Listen, goofball, are you going to pick a call? I swear to God, I just talked for 15 minutes, you couldn't pick another goddamn call in that time? No, it's to look at the screen.

1:06:25🔗 Caller Are you done with that?

1:06:25🔗 Have you ever seen it before?

1:06:26🔗 Caller Are you finished?

1:06:27🔗 Adam Yes, I'm finished. And don't act like I'm not.

1:06:29🔗 Okay, let's do number six.

1:06:33🔗 Adam This is the part I love most about Bruce, is we get into this argument every night. You picked the calls.

1:06:39🔗 Caller Do you understand? I wanted you to finish it. You don't ever have any...

1:06:41🔗 Adam You picked the next call.

1:06:43🔗 Caller All right. I did, six.

1:06:45🔗 Adam Alicia.

1:06:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:47🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:06:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:49🔗 Adam What's up?

1:06:50🔗 Caller A lot. It was interesting. You guys were just talking about vocational school. I'm in the nursing program at my school. That's excellent. I was listening to you guys talk about that.

1:07:00🔗 Adam You're not calling from the LA area, are you?

1:07:03🔗 Caller No, no, no.

1:07:05🔗 Adam They don't have that here, I don't know. Where are you calling from?

1:07:08🔗 Caller From PA.

1:07:10🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

1:07:11🔗 Caller Okay. But anyway, my question was, my boyfriend, after, we've been together for like two months, and it's been a while, and we like performed oral sex on each other.

1:07:25🔗 Adam You've been living together for two months?

1:07:27🔗 Caller No, no, no. We've been seeing each other.

1:07:29🔗 Adam Oh, sorry. Yeah?

1:07:30🔗 Caller And we ended up performing oral sex on each other. And after that, he told me he had hepatitis B.

1:07:38🔗 Caller After that, huh?

1:07:39🔗 Caller Yeah. That's nice. And it kind of scared me, because, you know, I read about it and stuff and... Yeah.

1:07:46🔗 Caller It's highly unlikely that you're going to get it that way.

1:07:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:49🔗 Adam How old is your boyfriend?

1:07:51🔗 Caller He's like 20.

1:07:53🔗 Caller How did he get it?

1:07:54🔗 Caller He doesn't know. He got tested in January. And he said that, you know, he could have got it sexually or it could have been like dried up blood somewhere.

1:08:03🔗 Adam Oh, it could have been the needles, could have been the hookers. I mean, who knows? Really? He's drunk most of the time. How old is he?

1:08:11🔗 Caller He's 20.

1:08:11🔗 Adam 20? He's not older than 20?

1:08:14🔗 Caller No.

1:08:15🔗 Adam 21 maybe?

1:08:16🔗 Caller No, he's 20.

1:08:17🔗 Caller Where did you meet him?

1:08:18🔗 Caller Where did I meet him? It was like, we went out to a golf course one day and I met him there. So, I mean, he's around, he's from around here and I know a school that, a kid at school that worked with him.

1:08:31🔗 Adam Does he work at the golf course?

1:08:33🔗 Caller He doesn't anymore.

1:08:35🔗 Adam Did, he didn't drive the ball collection tractor, did he? No, I swear to God, I went to the driving range at Griffith Park a few years ago. There was a guy with a cot mattress strapped to his back and a football helmet in a rake. He was collecting the balls and I yelled through the fence at him, this is the world's worst job. I am not exaggerating. He did not have a tractor. He had a mattress strapped to his back and he was wearing a helmet, and he was collecting the balls from the driving range with a mattress and a helmet.

1:09:11🔗 Caller Sounds like a third world golf.

1:09:12🔗 Adam I swear to God, and you know every guy was aiming for him.

1:09:17🔗 Caller Can I ask you another question?

1:09:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:09:19🔗 Caller I've had this problem with this girl, and I had to change schools because of her. She ended up turning lesbian, and you know she said she was my friend and everything, and she still won't leave me alone. I've been in court twice because of her.

1:09:34🔗 Adam Oh, why did you have to change schools because of her?

1:09:37🔗 Caller Put it this way, she threatened to kill me and my mom.

1:09:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:09:42🔗 Caller And the police, she just turned 18, and she's still harassing us. The police won't do nothing about it.

1:09:50🔗 Adam You gotta get a restraining order.

1:09:52🔗 Caller We tried that.

1:09:53🔗 Adam Why can't you get a restraining order against someone who's threatened to kill you? Huh?

1:09:58🔗 Caller They won't put it through.

1:09:59🔗 Adam Of course they will, of course they will. What are you talking about?

1:10:03🔗 Caller I swear to God.

1:10:04🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Listen, Alicia, you are like the chaos queen of the 90s. You, chaos follows you wherever you go, right?

1:10:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:10:13🔗 Adam You got an older screwed up boyfriend with the hepatitis. You got that crazy lesbian homicidal killer driving you out of school. Wherever you go, there chaos ensues.

1:10:23🔗 Caller She sounds depressed.

1:10:24🔗 Adam Now, who do you think that is? You or everyone else?

1:10:27🔗 Caller Everybody else.

1:10:28🔗 Adam OK, that's good. Now you can go through your whole life that way then.

1:10:32🔗 Caller Sounds like you probably have a long story.

1:10:34🔗 Adam Yeah, a very long story. We don't have time to get to.

1:10:36🔗 Caller I can make it short. We went to court because she assaulted me and then they let her off and put her on probation. Well, as soon as her probation got off, she started harassing us again.

1:10:48🔗 Adam Right. And then you reported her again.

1:10:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:10:52🔗 Caller She ordered food from a sub place. She ordered $70 worth of food and delivered it to our house.

1:10:58🔗 Adam All right. So she started harassing you again. And then what? You reported her to the cops.

1:11:02🔗 Caller The cops wanted to arrest her, but the guy at the pizza place was like, no, you know, I don't want to do that. It's not my problem.

1:11:09🔗 Adam OK. So then what?

1:11:11🔗 Caller Nothing has happened since then. It was like a week ago.

1:11:14🔗 Adam OK.

1:11:15🔗 Caller I just don't understand why she just can't.

1:11:17🔗 Adam How old is she?

1:11:18🔗 Caller She has 18 years old.

1:11:20🔗 Adam OK.

1:11:20🔗 Caller And she was in 10th grade with me last year.

1:11:23🔗 Adam OK. Listen. Hey, Alicia, there's no doubt that there's people that are screwed up out there in the world.

1:11:29🔗 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:11:29🔗 Adam There's millions of them. The real question is, why do you find all of them?

1:11:34🔗 Caller I don't know, because I'm a nice person and I help her through like a lot of problems and stuff.

1:11:41🔗 Adam Listen, Alicia, start helping yourself, would you?

1:11:44🔗 Caller I will.

1:11:45🔗 Adam Don't get pregnant.

1:11:46🔗 Caller And well, watch out with your boyfriend. And you obviously realize the risk of her.

1:11:49🔗 Caller Start testing your boyfriend first.

1:11:52🔗 Adam I just want all the parents to kill themselves. Just kill yourselves, would you? You're horrible, horrible people. You really shouldn't be licensed to drive a golf car, you horrible parents out there screwing your kids up. It just kills me. You know what I mean? This poor Alicia, you can hear in her voice, she's going to get hooked up with every screwball in the world. And listen to me, all you pathetic dads out there like to knock up a whole host of girlfriends and then hit the road. Your daughters grow up scared, confused, vulnerable, they end up getting used, hooked on stuff. You guys just please kill yourself now. That's what I'd like. We live in a utopia. For every one of you pathetic, cowardly dads, I don't care how old you are, 17, 18, 19, you knock somebody up, you take care of that kid. That's it. Pussies. Cowards. And then they just grow up wandering through life. They don't know where to go. They get hooked up with a bunch of homicidal lesbians. That's a good name for a band.

1:12:55🔗 Caller I think there's one.

1:12:55🔗 Adam Write down homicidal lesbian.

1:12:57🔗 Caller There's already a band called that.

1:12:58🔗 Adam You think there's a homicidal?

1:13:00🔗 Caller I'm sure there is.

1:13:01🔗 Adam What about suicidal lesbian? Yeah, I'd probably get too much crap from GLAAD. All right, we're gonna take a little break. Heather Kozars here. She's the 1999 Playmate of the Year. Could you put that thing on buzz instead of on the un-ring page of yours, please?

1:13:17🔗 Yes, Adam.

1:13:19🔗 Adam Okay, we'll take a break.

1:13:27🔗 Caller Hey, this is Nina from the Cardinghams. You probably heard about all the bad things that can happen to you if you're sexually active but not using condoms. Well, I'm gonna say it again. Use a latex condom. There's a lot of sexually transmitted diseases out there and you don't need to get them. So if you're gonna fool around, use a latex condom to help reduce the risk, always.

1:13:54🔗 Caller Brought to you by Westwood One Entertainment and Trojan, America's No. 1 Condom, trusted for over 80 years.

1:14:37🔗 Adam It's Love Line, Amanda Perola, that is Dr. Bruce. Bruce, Heather Kozar is here. I'm just laughing because Bruce is making a little small talk with Heather, asking her about being Playmate of the Year, want to know if she did any speaking at schools or hospitals. I was like, no, she flashes her boobs and signs pictures of herself. What's she doing at the schools?

1:15:01🔗 Caller That's why I was like, what?

1:15:03🔗 Adam He didn't really think that one out. He was just making a little small talk. He's not used to being around beautiful women except for his wife. Oh, right. There you go. I'm out of trouble. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

1:15:15🔗 All right.

1:15:16🔗 Adam I'll tell you what we'll do. Bruce, I'm going to tell you right now. We're going to power through some calls.

1:15:21🔗 Caller All right.

1:15:22🔗 Adam So here we go. Let's start with two. Here we go. Brett, you're 20.

1:15:28🔗 Caller Yes.

1:15:28🔗 Adam You want to know how effective are vasectomies?

1:15:32🔗 Caller Yeah. The reason I ask is, I recently, the wife I'm with, or the girl I'm with, we've already got two kids. We only want two and she doesn't want to get her tubes tied. She wants me to get a vasectomy.

1:15:50🔗 Adam Okay.

1:15:52🔗 Caller Now, the reason I ask is because we were just visiting over at her aunt's house the other day and she had, she got pregnant from some guy that got a vasectomy and then she met another girl.

1:16:07🔗 Adam Okay. Brad, I don't know if you're playing Nintendo while you're describing this or not, but you seem very distracted. People sit on hold for 95 minutes on this show and then they get on and they're like, ugh. There's too much going on there, Brad. They're very effective, are they not?

1:16:24🔗 Caller They're very effective. But first 90 or so days after you get it, you have to use some other.

1:16:28🔗 Adam But consult a physician. He should tell you. And I hear the first orgasm is real good after that. I'm thinking about getting a vasectomy just so I can have that first orgasm. Heather, you want to be there?

1:16:41🔗 Caller Okay.

1:16:42🔗 Adam I mean, it's a scientific experiment. Oh, please. Nothing sexual, but for science.

1:16:49🔗 Caller All in the name of science.

1:16:50🔗 Adam Patrice?

1:16:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:52🔗 Adam You're 20.

1:16:53🔗 Caller Hi.

1:16:53🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:16:54🔗 Caller I was wondering. I have really bad cramps when I have my period. And I heard somewhere, I don't know if I heard it on the radio or read it, that if you have sex during your period, it'll lessen the cramps. I was wondering if that's true and if it's the act of having sex or if it's orgasming or what is it?

1:17:11🔗 Adam Heather, what do you think?

1:17:13🔗 Caller I don't know about that one. Because since I've been on the pill, I have minimal cramps and...

1:17:19🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:17:19🔗 Caller Right. Getting on the pill and regulating your hormones is a reliable way to do that. If in one individual or another that's happened, it's not something that's reproducible or that's a rule or a...

1:17:31🔗 Adam Are you on the pill, Patrice?

1:17:33🔗 Caller No.

1:17:33🔗 Adam No.

1:17:34🔗 Caller That would help your cramps a lot.

1:17:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:17:35🔗 Caller Okay.

1:17:36🔗 Adam You have a boyfriend?

1:17:37🔗 Caller No, not right now.

1:17:38🔗 Adam All right. But you can get on the pill anyway.

1:17:40🔗 Caller It's nice to know exactly the day that you're gonna start anyway, just for your own peace of mind.

1:17:46🔗 Adam All right, Patrice?

1:17:47🔗 Caller All right, thanks.

1:17:47🔗 Adam All right, so get on the birth control. That's good for cramping or just wait around and take some of that Mydol or Pamper In or...

1:17:53🔗 Caller You could do that, but...

1:17:54🔗 Caller You do that, but it doesn't go away. Right.

1:17:56🔗 Caller Getting regulated.

1:18:00🔗 Adam You get cramps, Heather? But you used to?

1:18:03🔗 Caller Not nearly as bad as I used to. Now it's like every once in a while I'll get bad, but...

1:18:08🔗 Adam What the hell is that with the cramping? I mean, what kind of design was that? You guys are religious. What kind of thinking went into the cramping mechanism?

1:18:15🔗 Caller It's the whole childbearing.

1:18:17🔗 Adam All right, but it's like you're having a kid every month, you know? I mean...

1:18:21🔗 Caller Do you do lectures at schools or like...

1:18:23🔗 Adam I do lecture. Yes, Bruce. I'm glad you brought that up. Yes, I've been at many universities.

1:18:29🔗 Caller Not without Drew, though, I bet.

1:18:32🔗 Adam Here's the real deal. I could draw without Drew. I don't think Drew would draw without me. Sorry, yes.

1:18:39🔗 Caller I'll tweak your ego there.

1:18:40🔗 Adam Yes, we are in the lecture circuit. Orlando? Yeah. You're 18.

1:18:44🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

1:18:45🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:18:46🔗 Caller Well, I have this best friend and he's 19. And he had relations with this person who was 13. And you guys made a comment about pedophiles earlier. And I was just wondering, is there anything wrong with that?

1:18:58🔗 Caller Yeah, well, he's one of the guys we're going to kill.

1:19:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:01🔗 Adam No, he's... No, no, no.

1:19:03🔗 Caller What?

1:19:03🔗 Adam No, no. Listen, he's a horrible guy, but... He's 18, she's 13, right?

1:19:09🔗 Caller That's not as bad.

1:19:10🔗 Adam What, what?

1:19:11🔗 Caller It was a little boy.

1:19:13🔗 Adam He's 18 and the boy is 13.

1:19:15🔗 Caller 19 and 13.

1:19:15🔗 Adam Would you shut up? The boy? Okay.

1:19:17🔗 Caller No, the guy is 19 and the boy is 13.

1:19:21🔗 Adam Thank you. Just what I said.

1:19:23🔗 Okay.

1:19:25🔗 Adam Oh boy. And who... Where did he meet this boy?

1:19:32🔗 Caller Well, from what I hear, it's a friend of a friend and they spent over... They spent the night over at this friend's house, which was another little boy. And they just started talking and they kind of... The older person, it like brought some drinks and they started drinking.

1:19:49🔗 Adam What do you mean the older person? Was that him or somebody else?

1:19:52🔗 Caller No, my friend, the person who's 19, brought some drinks and shared it with the 13 year old.

1:19:57🔗 Adam Okay.

1:19:58🔗 Caller This guy is... You are responsible, I think, for reporting this. If I knew about it legally, I'd have to report it. This guy is a pedophile, he's going to continue to do it. And this is like getting a 13 year old drunk to have sex with him.

1:20:12🔗 Caller No, but the other person initiated it and... The third...

1:20:17🔗 Adam Wait a second. Hold on a second. How many people were there?

1:20:22🔗 Caller Two people.

1:20:23🔗 Adam Two people. And the 13 year old initiated it?

1:20:26🔗 Caller Yeah, in a way.

1:20:27🔗 Adam Well, in a way. After you got the 13 year old drunk.

1:20:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:31🔗 Adam Please. Are you gay?

1:20:34🔗 Caller I'm bisexual. Uh-oh.

1:20:35🔗 Adam What happened to you? Did someone do something to you?

1:20:38🔗 Caller No.

1:20:38🔗 Adam Metal something?

1:20:40🔗 Caller Nothing happened to me.

1:20:41🔗 Adam Really? I thought you had to have someone screw with you before you got to be bi. Oh, no. All right. But somebody must have done something to your friend.

1:20:49🔗 Caller There was a lot of abuse.

1:20:51🔗 Adam Yeah. Somebody sexually abused him.

1:20:53🔗 Caller Not sexually abused.

1:20:55🔗 Adam Look into it. Look into it. Any guy, any 19 year old who's getting 13 year olds drunk and trying to get in their pants or getting into their pants, I bet had something up with them too. I don't want to let this guy have to hook, but I'm sure there was something going on at his house. Yeah.

1:21:11🔗 Caller It sounds like you're stressed about this. You have awareness that this is a really horrible thing that happened and that you have some-

1:21:18🔗 Caller I don't know what to do because they were my best friend.

1:21:20🔗 Caller Listen, listen, listen. If your best friend is a murder or your best friend does something horrible, your responsibility is not to that person. Your responsibility is to people, God, whatever you want to, however you want to look at it. But it sounds like you have a conscience and you're not going to be able to live with your kind. Every day that you delay, this guy's out there doing the same thing and you're more responsible.

1:21:41🔗 Adam So, all right. He's not going to call the cops on this guy.

1:21:44🔗 Caller Yeah, why not?

1:21:45🔗 Adam Is he?

1:21:45🔗 Caller Sure.

1:21:46🔗 Adam How about convincing this guy to get some help?

1:21:49🔗 Caller No. I'm trying to and they're saying-

1:21:51🔗 Adam I'm trying to be realistic. What's that?

1:21:53🔗 Caller They're starting to develop feelings for the person.

1:21:56🔗 Adam He's- okay, they're feeling- they're developing feelings for each other.

1:22:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:01🔗 Adam Okay. But understand all the more reason why he needs to get a little counseling.

1:22:06🔗 Caller This guy doesn't need a little counseling. This guy needs to go to jail.

1:22:10🔗 Adam Listen.

1:22:11🔗 Caller I mean, that's the law.

1:22:12🔗 Adam I'm with you. I'm with you. I just don't think Orlando is going to call the cops on it.

1:22:17🔗 Caller I think he might.

1:22:18🔗 Adam I'm trying to do something realistic here.

1:22:20🔗 Caller Orlando, if you were convinced and you had support, would you call the police? It's not the police. Call Child Protective Services, okay? Listen, Child Protective Services is just what it says it is. It's Child Protective Services. This is a child and he's been violated. You want to do something about it, you're not going out there with a gun and killing your friend. You're doing the responsible thing.

1:22:41🔗 Caller And they won't tell your friend who reported it.

1:22:43🔗 Caller Right.

1:22:44🔗 Caller So he won't know that it was you.

1:22:46🔗 Adam He'll just do the math in terms of the only one he's ever told is Orlando.

1:22:49🔗 Caller What about the advice bothers you, calling a Child Protective Services office?

1:22:53🔗 Caller Because I've known my friend forever.

1:22:56🔗 Adam Alright, listen. Oh, okay. Listen, you'd be doing your friend a favor ultimately too. Because otherwise he's just going to be committed or damned to this life. You understand? Yeah, I know. I mean, it's like if I had a friend who was an alcoholic, I'd try to do an intervention and get him off this stuff. It'd be for his own good. He might be kicking and screaming, but ultimately it'd be for his own good. This guy needs some therapy. He needs some intervention. He needs to work his proms out.

1:23:25🔗 Caller Oh.

1:23:26🔗 Adam Why aren't you having sex with this guy?

1:23:28🔗 Caller Because I'm not attracted to the person. I grew up with him.

1:23:32🔗 Adam Yeah. Why don't you have sex with him? I mean, you're bi. He's bi. You live nearby. Everything's bi. I don't know. Listen, you have to intervene. Or you just, or even, why don't you just talk to the guy and tell him, listen, you're nuts. Okay, what if you do this? What if you talk to the guy and say, listen, you're way out of line. This is a kid. You're destroying this child and you're, you're breaking the law. And if you don't stop this relationship, I will call the cops. And then it's up to him. How about that?

1:24:08🔗 Caller No, but the kid needs to get help. That kid is messed up because of that.

1:24:12🔗 Adam Okay, but listen, hold on. You don't think the kid was messed up before he got to this guy? He had a few drinks and initiated the sex.

1:24:19🔗 Caller He needs to get some help.

1:24:20🔗 Adam What do you think was done to that kid? Who do you think messed with that kid already? You know what I'm saying? Of course somebody.

1:24:26🔗 Caller But this is what's going to bring things to light so that the kid gets some help.

1:24:30🔗 Adam Listen, I was suggesting this to, I don't know who the hell was in here last week, but I'm done with this country. Heather, we're moving to Canada.

1:24:38🔗 Caller Let's drop a bomb and leave.

1:24:40🔗 Adam Who was I talking to? I was going to move to Canada with last week. I don't know what it was, but she didn't take me up on it. Who was it? Jules? Right, right. Oh, Jules Asner from E, right. Yeah, she was a little stuck up. And that's all right. She was uptight. But you and I, I could see us going to Canada together, start a new life, do some ice fishing during the winter. I'll get like, I'll raise, I'll raise huskies, you know, have some dogs and forget about this life. Forget about this modeling and the radio and all that. We'll have an honest life over there. Place where you can raise a kid. Know what I mean? Don't have to worry about them, right?

1:25:25🔗 Caller What are you looking at me for?

1:25:26🔗 Adam I don't know. All right, I'm going to take a break.

1:25:28🔗 Caller Okay.

1:25:29🔗 Adam That means we're all going to take a break. When we come back, we'll talk to Tiffany. Tiffany's 15, mom's boyfriend is making inappropriate comments about her breasts.

1:25:37🔗 Caller Where's mom? Oh, jeez.

1:25:39🔗 Adam Can you just get, can you find a, can we take one? I swear to God, I'm this close to killing myself. Do you understand me? Bruce, why don't we mix it up? We'll speak to Amy. She's got a little, let's talk about being a playmate.

1:25:52🔗 Caller Okay.

1:25:53🔗 Adam Can we do that?

1:25:53🔗 Caller Yes.

1:25:54🔗 Adam You understand that concept? Okay.

1:26:13🔗 Caller Man turns animal for the erotic pleasures of women.

1:26:18🔗 Caller It's Loveline.

1:26:25🔗 Adam Hey, Anne, when's the last time we gave the email address out on this show? Just out of curiosity. An adventure, guess. Six months? Do you really think six months?

1:26:38🔗 Caller It's been a long time.

1:26:39🔗 Adam I think it's been a year and a half.

1:26:42🔗 Caller Not a year and a half.

1:26:43🔗 Adam I personally have not given the email address on this show.

1:26:46🔗 Caller We get emails daily.

1:26:47🔗 Adam I know, but I don't know if Drew has. I don't think Drew has either, but I don't know the email address on this show. It's not written anywhere in here.

1:26:55🔗 Caller I don't think he rattles it off.

1:26:57🔗 Dr. Bruce I think, yeah.

1:26:59🔗 Adam No, no, Anne.

1:26:59🔗 Caller We have over a thousand emails now.

1:27:01🔗 Adam Anne, I am telling you, I would bet my car and my right nut that Drew, I can speak personally. I haven't done it in, I think it's like two years.

1:27:12🔗 Caller Yeah, but Drew's.

1:27:14🔗 Adam No, Drew, Drew does his, Drew does his drdrew.com thing. He has not given the email on this show. I don't think it's been way over a year.

1:27:26🔗 Caller No.

1:27:28🔗 Adam I guarantee it. I swear. Where's Dooley? Where's Mike Dooley? Call Dooley at home and ask him seriously. Don't don't feed him anything. Just ask him if he can remember. Okay. Okay.

1:27:40🔗 Caller Well, I think you're wrong.

1:27:41🔗 Adam Ask Dooley. I guarantee it.

1:27:42🔗 Caller One time they asked me to look at the email and that was about six months ago because Drew wasn't here.

1:27:47🔗 Adam And give the address?

1:27:50🔗 Caller No, just respond to it. Look at it.

1:27:52🔗 Adam You've never read the address on this show. That's what I'm saying.

1:27:55🔗 Caller No, I can't remember.

1:27:56🔗 Adam Okay. Okay. Listen, let's move forward. Heather Kozar is here. She's the 1999 Playmate of the Year. She will be, and I haven't plugged this thing enough, by the way, at the Playboy Expo, which is at the Pacific Design Center, the building they call the Blue Whale. It is on Melrose, I believe, in West LA. Saturday and Sunday, this thing's gonna be going off, and they're gonna have Hughes' round bed there, 121 Playmates.

1:28:28🔗 Caller No, 210.

1:28:30🔗 Adam Holy Christ, how'd I screw that one up?

1:28:32🔗 Caller The most ever under one roof.

1:28:34🔗 Adam 210 Playmates, and...

1:28:37🔗 Caller Everything Playboy.

1:28:38🔗 Adam Everything Playboy. What time does it start, do you know?

1:28:42🔗 Caller 10 to 6 on Saturday and 11 to 7 on Sunday.

1:28:45🔗 Adam Okay, and you are like the jewel in the Playboy crown. I mean, you will be the belle of that ball. You're the 1999 Playmate of the Year. That's fantastic.

1:28:55🔗 Caller I like that.

1:28:56🔗 Adam Sure, why not? Amy?

1:28:58🔗 Yeah?

1:28:59🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:29:00🔗 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:29:01🔗 Adam All right, listen, now I got to put you on hold because I got a little attitude. That's all. We'll go to someone who wants to be a little friendlier. Sean?

1:29:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:11🔗 Adam You're 15.

1:29:12🔗 Caller Yeah, it was a couple of days ago and I was like late at night and these girls called me up. They're like, hey, we're going to pick you up. And they were like, just call me up. They were like, we're going to pick you up. Yeah, you're going to lose your virginity. We're going to take you here. And then I was like, yeah, whatever. So I snuck out and we parked on the side of the road and pretty soon they were just in their G-strings. And then they were saying, yeah, you're ready to lose your virginity and everything. I was like, no, no, it's not going to happen, whatever. And we just were hooking up, doing a lot of stuff. And then she was like sitting on top of me and she basically forced it into her. And I just kind of went from there, got carried away and ended up having sex with both of them. And then they were, after that, they told me, just be glad that it wasn't with someone you loved because then you just end up bringing each other's hearts and stuff and they're like this can become a continuous thing if you don't tell anybody about it. And then the girl that I lost it to was my first kiss. And then the thing is the next night, both those girls are with another guy. And I, I mean, I'm starting to, I don't know what to think and what to do because I'm kind of starting to have feelings for one of the girls.

1:30:22🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, it's, it's tough. You always do. You're young. It's your first, all that. Forget about it.

1:30:28🔗 Caller Get tested for STDs.

1:30:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:32🔗 Caller I couldn't say no. I mean, these girls are like...

1:30:34🔗 Adam Of course. Listen, I understand. You're fine.

1:30:39🔗 Caller Should I pursue something with this girl or...

1:30:42🔗 Adam No. She's insane.

1:30:44🔗 Caller No, not if they're with other guys the next night. They're obviously just using you for sex and kicks and...

1:30:51🔗 Adam There's a powerful attraction. She's a square worthy chick when I was in high school, for Christ's sake. I don't want to... Everyone's completely healthy and adjusted. Big doses of self-esteem. Everyone's feeling good.

1:31:00🔗 Caller Because the girl was like my first love. Like, I fell in love with her and it was a while back and now she was kind of back in the picture and I, I mean...

1:31:07🔗 Adam All right, go after her.

1:31:09🔗 Caller So, that's the girl I lost it to.

1:31:11🔗 Adam Oh, wait.

1:31:12🔗 Caller The first kiss and the first...

1:31:14🔗 Adam Yeah, but you fell in love with her and she's back in the picture? What are you talking about?

1:31:18🔗 Caller Well, it was back like in... I was in 7th grade, she was in 8th grade, and now she's a junior, I'm a sophomore.

1:31:24🔗 Adam Okay, she's nuts though, all right, Sean? Find somebody else. She's gonna drive you crazy.

1:31:29🔗 Caller Okay.

1:31:30🔗 Adam I know you're obsessed, but it's only because you slept with her. This is why people shouldn't be screwing so young. Their minds are so fragile, you know, it starts warping things. You can't... Listen, you're stupid enough when you're 15. You start mixing sex into it. It's like you can't... It's like why you're not supposed to drive forklifts when you're drunk. It's too much. It's hard already to drive the forklift and then you get drunk and you start crashing into boxes. This is why you shouldn't have sex at 15. I really mean it. Your mind is too screwed up.

1:32:03🔗 Caller Sounds like you got raped.

1:32:04🔗 Adam Listen, this could have been a Vietnamese hooker who raped him in an alley he'd be in love.

1:32:09🔗 Caller Yeah, right.

1:32:10🔗 Adam That's the way the mind works. All right, you got another call picked out?

1:32:13🔗 Caller Well, you were going to go back to...

1:32:14🔗 Caller Oh, I was?...

1:32:14🔗 Caller for Heather.

1:32:15🔗 Adam All right, we'll see how our attitude is. Amy?

1:32:18🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:32:18🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:32:20🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:32:21🔗 Adam Okay. Ooh, that was close.

1:32:23🔗 Caller Okay.

1:32:24🔗 Caller Well, you guys all kick ass, so...

1:32:26🔗 Caller All right, thank you.

1:32:28🔗 Caller Heather, I was wondering what's your favorite part about being a playmate?

1:32:32🔗 Caller My favorite part about being a playmate is all the traveling that I get to do around the world and also being able to hang out at the Playboy Mansion. That's a lot of fun.

1:32:41🔗 Adam You know, my favorite part is Heather's ass. Bruce, you got a favorite part?

1:32:47🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:32:48🔗 Caller Personality.

1:32:49🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:32:50🔗 Caller Does she have a great personality or...?

1:32:53🔗 Adam Seriously, you'd sleep with me before, Bruce, right?

1:32:56🔗 Caller I'll flip a coin.

1:32:57🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

1:32:59🔗 Adam No. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. I'm like a big TV star and stuff, right, Bruce?

1:33:07🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:33:08🔗 Caller I've never seen any of your TV stuff.

1:33:10🔗 Adam Except for that. Why don't you shut up? Stop bad-mouthing the show.

1:33:14🔗 Caller I didn't say that.

1:33:15🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. Every time I see Bruce, all he does is bad-mouth the TV show.

1:33:20🔗 Caller I didn't say anything about the TV show.

1:33:21🔗 Adam You were about to, weren't you? And don't you every time I see you?

1:33:25🔗 Caller I just say, let him hang a TV camera in here. It would be more entertaining. That's all.

1:33:29🔗 Adam And then you go on to say bad things, don't you?

1:33:31🔗 Caller You know, I'd never want to really hurt your feelings.

1:33:33🔗 Adam It's too late.

1:33:34🔗 Caller I know you're a sensitive guy.

1:33:35🔗 Adam The honeymoon is over. Amy?

1:33:37🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:33:38🔗 Adam You think about being a playmate?

1:33:40🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:33:41🔗 Caller Should I? How old are you? 16?

1:33:43🔗 Adam Yes.

1:33:44🔗 Caller You still have to wait till you're 18, so you have some time to think about that. Do you think I should? Well, it's kind of, you know, a choice that you'll have to make and Well, I don't know. Something you have to live with for the rest of your life.

1:33:55🔗 Adam As long as we're suggesting professions, why don't we go with like astronaut or something? Be an astronaut?

1:34:02🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

1:34:04🔗 Caller I think she's willing to do anything.

1:34:06🔗 Adam Lion tamer? How about a lion tamer?

1:34:09🔗 Caller As long as they make money.

1:34:10🔗 Adam I don't know. What about a pirate?

1:34:12🔗 Caller You have to do something though that you enjoy and that makes you happy. So, think about that too.

1:34:17🔗 Caller I have one more thing to say. Well, you were saying earlier how there's two types of women that when you cheat on them, one of them either kicks your ass or they pursue the girl.

1:34:30🔗 Adam Right.

1:34:31🔗 Caller If somebody cheated on me, neither of them would be safe. I'd kill both of them.

1:34:35🔗 Adam Oh, that's very refreshing.

1:34:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:37🔗 Adam Okay, so there's really three types.

1:34:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:40🔗 Adam Okay. All right, Amy. Are you staying school, right?

1:34:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:45🔗 Adam Don't get pregnant.

1:34:46🔗 Caller Why?

1:34:47🔗 Adam Because I think you need like a fine wine, you need a few more years to mellow before you reach your full bouquet.

1:34:57🔗 Caller And you need to think about the child too.

1:35:00🔗 Adam Okay. Good girl.

1:35:01🔗 Caller I'm responsible.

1:35:02🔗 Adam All right. This Amy's a delight, isn't she? She's ready to try anything.

1:35:05🔗 Caller You wanna be a playmate?

1:35:06🔗 Caller You wanna be a playmate?

1:35:07🔗 Adam Okay. You think I should? Don't have any kids. Why? She's a real literalist.

1:35:18🔗 Caller Maybe she already has one.

1:35:19🔗 Adam I like that. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. I gotta call engineer Mike at home. This is driving me completely insane now with this six month call. He agreed with the producer and didn't agree with her. He actually brought it up. But I actually think six months is we're talking about the email address. I think that is the, when you can't remember the last time, but you know it's happened at some point, that's the standard unit of measurement you use. I use that with teeth cleaning when it comes to the dentist. Like the dentist goes, you know the last time you came in here for a teeth cleaning? I go, I don't know, six months, four years. Can we deduct the six months from that though? So would it be three and a half years? I got to talk to Dooley. You're so obsessive. I really am.

1:36:02🔗 Caller Just let it go.

1:36:02🔗 Adam No, because it drives me insane.

1:36:04🔗 Caller I'll get you Prozac tomorrow.

1:36:05🔗 Adam Could you please? And what about the Viagra? Bring the rest of that in.

1:36:08🔗 Caller You took five at once.

1:36:11🔗 Adam Blacked the door. Heather's not getting out of here. All right, we'll be back.

1:36:35🔗 Caller Oh, you're right there.

1:36:36🔗 Caller It's Loveline on WEBN.

1:36:51🔗 Adam It is Loveline, and that is it. Heather, thank you very much for coming in.

1:36:56🔗 Caller Thanks for having me.

1:36:57🔗 Adam You were delightful, and I'm sure you'll make the Playboy empire proud. 1999 Playmate of the Year, Heather Kozar. You can find her at the Playboy Expo, which is in the Big Blue Whale, the Design Center, which is over on Melrose in West LA. Saturday and Sunday all day, 200 and some odd playmates, Hugh's Round Bed and that's a good name for band too. Hugh's Round Bed. Yes. So what do we have? Homicidal Lesbian and Hugh's Round Bed. One is a hard rock band, the other is an alternative band. That's Hugh's Round Bed. Write that down. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Bruce saying Mahalo.

1:37:43🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management or the sponsors of this radio station. You're probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Anne Wilkins Engel. Now, please listen to this station longer.

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