Episode 1000754888337

1:42 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:45 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:50 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:53 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:55 Voiceover Loveline.

1:57 Adam Yeah, all right. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla as Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. All right. Man show's on tonight, everybody.

2:16 Drew Well, unless you're East of the Mississippi, then you missed it.

2:19 Adam That's right, but they'll always be next week, guys.

2:21 Drew This is a repeat? Obviously.

2:23 Adam No, it's not a repeat, you idiot.

2:24 Drew You mean they're...

2:25 Adam What the hell kind of selling is that?

2:27 Drew I thought they were going...

2:27 Adam It's a repeat, obviously.

2:28 Drew No, no, I thought they were going through some repeats now.

2:31 No, no.

2:32 Adam It's all fresh.

2:33 Drew All new man shows.

2:34 Adam I did this one five minutes ago. It's good, fresh, wholesome comedy that has to do with jugs and anuses. Incubus is our guest tonight. We have DJ Kilmore, Brandon and Mike all here from the band. These guys are local. Hi guys. Hello.

2:53 What's going on?

2:54 Adam You're from Calabasas?

2:55 Calabasas, California.

2:57 Adam How do you... Where do you find your edge over there in Calabasas? What do you got to be pissed off about in Calabasas? That's nice.

3:04 Actually, we have absolutely nothing to be pissed off about.

3:07 Adam You just like music? Yes.

3:10 We're kind of hippies like that.

3:11 Adam Kind of refreshing.

3:13 Incubus We were fortunate enough to have garages, big garages like that.

3:18 And nothing to do.

3:19 Adam Right. And I guess... Maybe I'm just... Is it easier to start a band now than it was 20 years ago? I mean, can you do more stuff on a computer? Is equipment cheaper or lighter or something?

3:37 It's easier to do your own thing, I think, these days.

3:40 Except there's so many more bands probably now than there were 20 years ago, period. But I guess it's all relative.

3:46 Incubus So you're going to get a lot more crap out there?

3:49 Adam Yes.

3:49 Incubus So it is a lot easier but doesn't mean it's any better.

3:52 Adam Well, because it's easier, it makes it harder, because it makes it easier on everyone else.

3:56 Incubus That's true.

3:57 Adam Then you have to just wait through that many more idiots to get to the top, to scratch and claw your way to the top. I have some dates for Incubus, by the way, that we'll give out because, man, they got some touring going on.

4:10 Shameless promotion.

4:11 Adam Oh, man. Drew, would you look at those tour dates? I won't get them all out right now.

4:18 We're going everywhere.

4:19 Adam But they're playing.

4:22 Drew Portland 25th, Salt Lake City the 28th, Denver the 29th.

4:24 Adam You're going to do the whole thing?

4:26 Drew Chicago the 5th of February.

4:27 Adam All right. Go, Drew. I'm going to take a leak. Go.

4:29 Drew DC the 20th of February. New York 23rd of February. Atlanta 27th. San Francisco the 22nd of January.

4:36 Adam All right.

4:37 Incubus I got to go now, too.

4:38 It's getting on my foot.

4:39 Adam We'll give the rest out before the night is through. You're currently doing the Snowcore thing, right?

4:44 Incubus Yes.

4:45 It starts in a couple days.

4:46 Adam That's with System of a Down?

4:48 Incubus Yes.

4:49 Adam Didn't I get my Taboo II movie from System of a Down?

4:52 Drew Yes.

4:53 Adam That's why they're my favorite band.

4:54 Drew You're down with the band.

4:55 Adam Fog Hat has officially been replaced by System of a Down because I got Taboo II, my world's favorite porn movie.

5:03 Incubus From Darren?

5:04 Adam John.

5:04 Incubus From John. Wow. Yes. I know that the guitar player has an extensive collection there. Good for him.

5:11 Adam The guys who enjoy porn seem to be attracted to each other. It's probably why they formed the band.

5:16 Incubus That's why we formed our band.

5:20 Adam How's the Snowcore work? Because I'm scared to go outside. But is it going from resort to resort playing?

5:30 What do you do?

5:31 Incubus It's just in the winter. It's all indoors. And most of the places we go are cold with the exception of California.

5:37 I think it started out actually as a ski resort tour where you would go to different resorts and play shows and the snowboard music kind of connection. I don't think that's happening this year really.

5:51 Adam So it's like MTV's Unplugged or something which is not really that unplugged anymore.

5:57 Like the K-Rock Acoustic Christmas.

5:58 Adam K-Rock Acoustic Christmas which basically last year is just basically about guys taking electric guitars and smashing them into amplifiers.

6:07 Incubus Is that what happened?

6:08 Adam Yeah.

6:08 Drew I told them they should call it not even Acoustic Christmas.

6:11 Adam Yeah, it's not even close anymore. But you're not going to change your name.

6:14 It should just be called Electric Christmas. But that was a very stupid joke. I'll shut up now.

6:18 Adam No, you may talk. Just give it a few minutes. Bob?

6:22 Yeah.

6:22 Adam You're 19?

6:23 Caller Yeah.

6:23 Adam What's up?

6:25 Well, I've been having some problems. I've been having sex with my partner and well, after a while it bleeds and I don't know if that's normal or what.

6:37 Drew Your penis bleeds?

6:38 No, my-

6:39 Adam I'm guessing it's the guy's ass, right? Is that what you're talking about, Bob?

6:42 Incubus I was going to ask who's bleeding.

6:44 Caller Yeah.

6:44 Adam His ass?

6:46 Caller No, my ass.

6:47 Adam Whose ass is bleeding? Yours?

6:49 Mine when we have sex.

6:50 Adam I see. I'm guessing he's behind you, right? It wouldn't make any sense for your ass to bleed if you were behind him, right?

7:00 No, no.

7:01 Adam Unless you're backed up against something.

7:03 He's behind me and-

7:05 Adam Right. All right...

7:06 .every time I bleed.

7:07 Drew Oh, well, you got to have it looked into, quite literally.

7:10 Is there any problem with that?

7:12 Drew I mean, is it normal? No, it's not normal. There is a problem with that. It needs to-

7:15 There is?

7:16 Drew At your age, it's unlikely to be tumors or polyps or the kinds of things we really worry about, but it is something that needs to be examined. In the meantime, you should get yourself some Aneosol HC cream and take lots of hot baths, but somebody's got to look at it.

7:32 Adam Now, does he put the cream on himself or does he just rub it on his boyfriend, Johnson, and he puts it on? No.

7:39 I don't know.

7:39 Adam Well, it'd be effective application, wouldn't it? Do you really want to get it up in there? You put it on your boyfriend.

7:47 John has bled once or twice before, but I mean, I bleed a lot more than he has.

7:51 Adam No, you're not bleeding, Bob, please. Let me tell you something. What I've learned from this show.

7:57 What's that?

7:57 Adam Gay guys don't even take it in the ass anymore. It's all about blowjobs. So I don't even believe you.

8:03 We do that too. I mean, would you like to talk to John?

8:06 Adam All right. Put John on.

8:07 All right. Hold on.

8:08 Adam All right. I nailed this guy in the ass once. Oh, please, Anderson. That comes back to haunt me every show now. John? Yes? John, let me say something that I announced at the office today. Yes? I said that if I was gay, I would get the BJ and then give the sodomy. You see? So people around the office kind of knew who, you know.

8:31 Drew You're a real giver.

8:32 Adam Who was in charge, yeah.

8:34 Caller Well, we like to go back and forth, but usually I'm the one in charge, as you would say.

8:41 Adam I see. And whose rectum is doing the most bleeding?

8:47 Caller Definitely him.

8:48 Adam And doesn't that scare you a little bit?

8:51 Caller Oh, could it be from the lack of lubrication?

8:54 Adam Yeah, I think it could be.

8:56 Drew Let's get rid of these bozos. This is as bogus as it gets.

8:59 Caller I know.

9:00 Adam All right, John.

9:02 Caller Okay.

9:02 Adam Okay. All right.

9:04 Caller Sounded like Saul Rosenberg.

9:06 Adam They sounded screwed up enough.

9:10 Caller No.

9:10 Adam No. We don't get much butt love between guys on this show. Plenty of gay guys call in, but apparently the butt love isn't where it's at these days. Sarah?

9:21 Hey.

9:22 Adam Hey, you're 18.

9:23 Caller Yes. I have a slight problem. I have really sensitive nipples and they're usually getting hard. I always joke about when it's really cold outside, how I might do permanent damage to them. On New Year's Eve, I was at a concert and I wear a shirt that I couldn't wear a bra with and the seams of the shirt went down over my nipples and it was kind of like, it was fitted enough so I didn't have to wear a bra. When I was dancing, you know, bouncing up and down, my nipples were rubbing against the seams. Towards the end of the night, I realized that I was really having pain and so I went to bed and then I woke up the next morning and it didn't really hurt. But since then, my nipples have been really hurting a lot, especially when they get hard and they even are like, there's like dry skin coming off them. And I put lotion on and stuff, but I was wondering if I could have damaged my nipples.

10:19 Adam From rubbing on the seam of your blouse?

10:21 Caller Yeah, on the inside seams of them. It was like for a few hours. I mean, it was on New Year's Eve.

10:26 Adam Well, you've always had sensitive nipples, right?

10:29 Caller Right.

10:29 Adam So they're not much worse off now than they were before.

10:32 Caller Well, it was just like they were sensitive to like, maybe I was out in the cold or, you know, something like that.

10:37 Drew Reactive. They were reactive before.

10:40 Caller Yeah. Now they actually hurt when they get hurt.

10:42 Drew They're fine. They will heal up just nicely.

10:44 Caller They will, even though it's been like a long time.

10:46 Drew How long?

10:47 Adam Well, New Year's Eve.

10:48 Drew No, it'll be fine.

10:49 Caller It will.

10:49 Adam It was 89, though.

10:51 Drew Did you?

10:52 Adam That's what she's not saying.

10:53 Drew You don't live near a coast, do you?

10:55 Caller I live, well, Virginia.

10:57 Drew Yeah. Everyone, I think, lives near the Pacific Ocean, has the experience of a kid, at least, of being on a boogie board or something and rubbing themselves to death.

11:07 Incubus I've done that.

11:08 Drew Yeah, everyone's done that.

11:09 Adam Yeah.

11:09 Drew And my breasts hurt. Yeah.

11:12 Adam Right.

11:12 Drew And realizing that that is a rite of passage that you're finally going through.

11:16 Incubus There's something we call a rash guard in the surfing world. You should maybe try. Or band-aids. I guess.

11:21 Adam How does a rash guard work?

11:23 Drew Yeah, wear band-aids for a while, let things heal, and that's that.

11:25 Incubus A rash guard protects your skin from a wetsuit, or from a boogie board, or something.

11:29 Drew What is it?

11:30 Incubus It's like silk, like a silk material. Is it lycra? I think. Yeah, and it basically prevents chafing.

11:36 Adam Oh, you put it on, like it's a real tight shirt, before you put your wetsuit on?

11:39 Incubus Exactly. And they recommend it to people with sensitive nipples, as well.

11:43 Drew They didn't have that when I was a kid.

11:44 Adam No.

11:45 Drew We had the mean streets.

11:47 Adam First off, Drew had to hike 10 miles in the snow just to get to the ocean.

11:50 Drew That's right.

11:50 Incubus He hiked both ways.

11:52 Adam That was first off. He had a ziffy board. Remember those?

11:57 Incubus What's that?

11:58 Drew Oh, come on. The little blue things with the handles on the side.

12:00 Adam Hard plastic. Hard. They were like the precursor to the boogie board. Somebody figured out, well, not until 1978 did people realize that things could float without being hollow and filled with air. So the ziffy board was like- the whole styrofoam or foam, I think it happened when somebody like dropped a foam cup into the ocean and it magically didn't sink. But the ziffy board was this blue hard board had a whale stamped on it. It had handles cut into the side of it.

12:31 Drew I think it had like a spigot, didn't it?

12:33 Adam The very end had a little hole in it and you drain it about every couple hours.

12:37 Drew That's right.

12:37 Adam It would be like it was-

12:39 Incubus They have those that used sports equipment stores still.

12:41 Drew No kidding.

12:42 Adam Yeah. I think it's what they give the slow kids to play with in the pool, sort of practice their kicking. That's why Drew had one. Mike?

12:49 Caller Yes, hey.

12:50 Adam You're 19?

12:52 Caller Yes, I am.

12:52 Adam Jesus, you know you're getting old when you bring up the Ziffy board and you get the strange looks.

12:56 Caller I've never even heard of that.

12:58 Adam Oh, it's high.

12:59 Drew It was new when we were young.

13:01 Caller I'd like to say I love you, Adam.

13:03 Adam Thank you.

13:03 Caller I'm okay, but I adore you. Incubus, I've seen you guys live on the Family Values Tour 97.

13:10 Incubus Cool. You hate us.

13:13 Adam No.

13:15 Caller Heavy metal madness, man.

13:16 Caller No, I have no problem with you guys at all.

13:21 Caller That's good to know. Thank you very much.

13:23 Adam Quite a sweet talker, this Mike.

13:25 Drew Mike, what's going on?

13:26 Adam He loves me, but he's not gay. He has no problem with the band. You're not going to get anywhere with us, Mike.

13:33 Caller Anyway, Dr. Drew.

13:33 Drew Mike.

13:34 Caller I have mitral valve prolapse with pulmonary stenosis. I had a minor hole in my heart when I was born. Doctors have told me it's probably due to the painkillers my mom was on during pregnancy.

13:46 Drew Oh, interesting. How severe is the pulmonic stenosis?

13:50 Caller It's no longer present as far as I'm aware of. I don't go in for checkups. I've never been on any medications other than...

13:57 Drew You don't get short of breath or turn blue when you're hanging your fingernails open blue or anything like that?

14:01 Caller Not at all. I just have to take penicillin or amyfacillin before I go to the dentist.

14:04 Drew And that's for your mitral prolapse, though.

14:06 Caller Yeah. And other than that, I get a sharp pain in my lung.

14:12 Adam What's the hole in the heart?

14:13 Drew Probably a ventricular septal defect, which is a hole between the two main chambers in the heart. Get my book.

14:19 Adam No.

14:20 Drew All right. And pulmonic stenosis is the main outflow valve from the right side of the heart going out into the lungs, and that gets narrowed sometimes.

14:27 Adam Are you a real doctor or just a love doctor?

14:29 Drew Yes. Thank you.

14:30 Adam All right.

14:31 Drew And then, mitral prolapse is an improper closing of the mitral valve, which is the main intake valve to the...

14:36 Adam But a lot of people have that, right?

14:37 Drew Oh, yeah. That's no big deal. And it's a little more serious in men and it's more serious if there's regurgitation. Do you have regurgitation with it? No, I don't. Yeah, so it's just prolapse. That's no big deal.

14:45 Incubus And you can get it from the mother taking painkillers?

14:49 Drew This is all congenital heart defects, which almost anything can... Those are pretty common kinds of conditions.

14:56 Incubus Wow.

14:56 Adam Hey, Mike?

14:57 Incubus Yes.

14:57 Adam Don't worry. You're going to live till 25, maybe 26, brother.

15:01 Caller I'm hoping till I turn 20 in a couple days.

15:04 Drew What is your question?

15:06 Caller Is there any problem with having intercourse?

15:09 Drew No.

15:10 Caller No? Not at all.

15:11 Drew They don't restrict your rigorous exercise or anything like that, do they?

15:14 Caller The only thing I can't do is I can't play contact sports.

15:16 Drew Right. They probably urge you not to bear down a lot, do Valsalva maneuvers, that kind of thing?

15:20 Caller Yeah.

15:20 Adam Valsalva maneuvers.

15:22 Drew Valsalva. Like what you do... How do you go to the bath room? Like what you do on the grass, the lawn.

15:27 Adam Like when you're trying to light a fart?

15:30 Drew Valsalva maneuvers.

15:30 Adam What happened, Adam? Well, he had the Mitrovalve prolapse. He was trying to light a fart in a radio show and... I can't talk about it anymore. They buried him in his chair. They couldn't get the mic out of his hands. They buried him with the mic too. It's all right.

15:45 Drew And the lighter?

15:45 Adam It was a Westwood one. The mic was only $19. They tried to pry the lighter from his hand. No one would do it. Hey, Drew, so you can't exert yourself too much.

15:57 Incubus So why would sex not be a problem then? What if he had very, very sex?

16:01 Drew He can.

16:01 Caller It was a context.

16:02 Incubus He can.

16:03 Drew Yeah, they didn't restrict his activities at all, nor should they.

16:06 Adam But here's the thing, and here's my theory at least. You don't exert yourself having sex any more than you do playing soccer or something, right?

16:17 Drew Less. It would be less. It's a little different than some blood flow and hormonal issues, but you don't exert yourself more. It's not more physically rigorous.

16:24 Adam But theoretically, if you did get going, like, let's say you're with the right hooker and you really got lost in the moment, you could not know when to slow down. I mean, don't you think that's the dangerous part about sex? Like, if you're jogging and you feel a little pain in your heart or a little cramping in the calf, like I get, you know, in a masturbating, immediately sit down, relax, cool down. But when you're having sex, you tend to just try to push through.

16:51 Drew It's also a different cardiovascular response than the skeletal muscle delivery of oxygen needs during exercise.

16:57 Incubus What if you're, what's the actor's name who's now married to Catherine Zeta-Jones?

17:01 Drew Michael Douglas.

17:02 Incubus What if you have sex like him? In the movies. You know, like, you know how he does it in the movies? Like, he's crazy. Like, you think he's going to kill something.

17:10 Adam Right. Drew?

17:10 Incubus I would restrict his, if he had this condition, you know what I'm talking about?

17:14 Adam Like Michael Douglas does in the movies.

17:16 Caller You know what I'm saying?

17:17 Incubus You've seen Basic Instinct, like, he goes crazy.

17:20 Adam Well that's what Drew tells his patients, listen, it's okay to have some intercourse, maybe the missionary position, but don't think about banging away like Michael Douglas would do in a movie, for instance.

17:29 Drew I do not. I tell them to watch Basic Instincts and not behave accordingly.

17:33 Adam That's right. I thought you were going to say Michael Douglas, who's like 56, on top of that tremendous piece of ass, Catherine Zeta-Jones, could have a heart attack at any moment.

17:43 Incubus That would give any man a heart attack, yeah.

17:47 Adam She's a beast. She's a real cow. Scott? Scott and Alex? What's up?

17:55 Caller How's it going?

17:56 Adam Good.

17:57 Adam, you're cool.

17:58 Adam All right.

17:59 All right.

18:00 Caller Thank you, Biff.

18:01 Caller What's up?

18:01 Caller You guys rule, dude.

18:02 Caller Thank you.

18:02 Incubus Thanks, man.

18:03 Caller You're one of our favorite bands, man. We're starting a band because of you guys.

18:05 Incubus All right.

18:06 We already did, actually.

18:07 Incubus What's it called?

18:08 Caller Altered Consciousness.

18:10 Incubus All right.

18:11 We just want to call and say that you're like a hardcore inspiration for us, and we just think it's really cool that you kind of branched off from other musical styles, and just started your own thing, and like your new CD is really dope, and I don't know, whenever I get pissed I listen to it and it's cool.

18:27 Incubus And then what happens after that?

18:29 Adam It kills.

18:29 Caller Then it's all good.

18:30 Incubus All right. Good. Thank you very much.

18:32 Caller Hey, I have a question, though, for kind of the singer. Well, actually all you guys, but when you write a song, do you write the lyrics first or the music?

18:40 Incubus It kind of varies.

18:41 Caller It's different every time.

18:43 Incubus Yeah. Usually Michael will come up with a guitar riff of some kind, and then him and I will write a lyric and a melody and the guitar riff sort of together.

18:52 Caller So you do it all together?

18:53 Incubus Yeah. It's a very democratic process.

18:54 Caller We do it together.

18:56 Every aspect of the band is like awesome, like your bass player and your drummer, like your drummer does stuff that like you think would come out of like a drum machine.

19:02 Caller Seriously, he's a machine.

19:04 Caller Well, he's actually in that movie Daryl. You ever seen that movie Daryl?

19:08 Caller No, no.

19:09 Caller Okay, no.

19:09 He lost it.

19:11 Adam I know what a Ziffy board is.

19:13 Drew So, we're Bad Ronald.

19:14 Oh, please.

19:16 I play bass too. I'm like, I don't know dude. I don't know how. I don't know if I'll ever be as good as like your bass player.

19:21 Caller But all you guys, dude, you guys are just all talented.

19:24 Incubus Wow. Thank you very much, friends.

19:26 We're going to see you at Snowcore.

19:27 Incubus All right. Thank you.

19:28 Is there any way that you fans could get backstage passes?

19:31 Incubus Oh, sure.

19:32 Adam Yeah. Where are you calling from?

19:36 Caller Wilton Hills and Sherman Oaks.

19:38 Yeah.

19:38 Caller It's like your Calabasas.

19:39 Caller That's like our hood.

19:41 Adam Right. And which Snowcore are you going to see them at?

19:45 Palladium.

19:46 Adam All right. So how are they going to know it's you?

19:49 I don't know, dude. I didn't think you'd say yes.

19:53 Adam Well, I'll tell you what, we'll put you on hold.

19:55 Right on.

19:56 Incubus If both of you dress up as bunny rabbits, we'll notice you and we'll get you backstage.

20:02 Adam We'll put you guys on hold and see what we can figure out, okay? All right. There's a compliment. We started a band because of you.

20:10 Incubus Ego Booster.

20:11 Adam I like that other guy. I was like, I saw you guys playing.

20:13 Incubus I'm okay with you.

20:15 Adam Continue.

20:16 Caller If I saw you, I wouldn't punch you in the throat. Yeah.

20:19 Adam He gave you a pass to play another week. Call and check with me next week to see if it's okay to continue touring. I'm feeling very lenient this week. Amy?

20:34 Hello.

20:34 Adam You're 30. What's up?

20:36 Caller How are you doing, Your Highness?

20:38 Adam Oh, wow. Wow.

20:40 Caller All right.

20:42 Adam What's up?

20:42 Caller I've got a question for you. Have you ever seen the Devil and Miss Jones series?

20:46 Adam No. I'm familiar with it, but I've never... What? My penis says it's seen it.

20:53 Drew It seems to have a problem with it. What does it not like about it?

20:56 Adam It doesn't like the satanic theme. My penis is born again Christian.

21:02 Drew Wow.

21:02 Adam My hand is from hell. That's the problem. That's where the conflict comes in.

21:09 Caller Well, your hand is your best friend.

21:10 Drew Amy, what's going on?

21:11 Adam That's right.

21:12 Caller I just wanted to know if you know which Devil and Miss Jones has the guy with the penis for a nose.

21:19 Adam Well, that has to be number two.

21:23 Caller Number two.

21:24 Adam Is that right? Is there one call?

21:25 Caller I don't know.

21:27 Adam You're calling in to find out?

21:29 Caller You don't want to ask, aren't you?

21:31 Adam Well, I'm more fan of the Taboo series.

21:36 Caller I've heard the song.

21:36 Adam Oh, yes he does. Hey, you guys should cover this song. This is the Taboo 2 theme song. Is it really? You know, it's had a please in every detail. Give it your own incubus kind of flavor. I'm not saying do it like this. You can do more than.

21:52 Caller Put a little gravy into it.

21:54 Caller Very magic.

21:55 Incubus Taboo 2, I saw a commercial for it on a cartoon porn video that someone gave me and it was the first exposure to actually like real porn I ever saw.

22:03 Adam So it has some meaning for you. It does.

22:05 Incubus It's slightly nostalgic for me.

22:07 Adam I'll tell you, there's a good riff and the lyrics are real strong, but it needs to be brought up to sort of 2000.

22:15 Incubus 2000 standards?

22:16 Adam Yeah, because this is like 1978, 1979.

22:19 Caller It's vintage.

22:20 Adam Yeah, it's vintage, but it could use, maybe we should give it to like Puff Daddy or something, let him steal a riff from it and work it into something new.

22:31 Caller He won't steal a riff, he'll steal a whole song.

22:33 Adam Oh yeah. I know, how does that work?

22:37 Caller I can't figure that guy out.

22:40 Adam I don't know, he's laughing all the way to the bank, but to me the song is just basically, every time I hear Puff Daddy, I just want to hear the other song.

22:47 Incubus Yeah.

22:48 Adam Exactly. Because it's like you get the song without him and you're in great shape.

22:52 Incubus Right.

22:53 Adam All right, let's, Drew?

22:55 Drew Commercial.

22:55 Adam You're going to commercial?

22:56 Drew Yeah.

22:57 Adam All right, who are we going to talk to when we come back? Drew, do your job. This one. Andrea. Andrea is 18. She goes down on her boyfriend and can't get him to orgasm. She wants to know how to do less satisfying. Thankfully, we have a band here.

23:12 Incubus So we can get to the bottom of this.

23:15 Adam All right, Incubus is here. We'll find out how to perform oral sex by a group of five guys after this. Yep, it is Loveline. Adam Corolla is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1, Kilmore. Brandon and Mike are all here from Incubus. We're going to hear something off of Make Yourself, which is the name of the current CD. We'll give some tour dates and things like that as well before the night is through. I may remind you that The Man Show is on Comedy Central tonight. That's right. A new fresh comedy episode.

24:23 Drew Which one is it?

24:24 Adam A real super funny one.

24:26 Incubus You don't get to watch your own show.

24:27 Adam No, never do. And we don't get to see Loveline either because we're here.

24:31 Drew We never see Loveline, but Adam does manage to watch at least four minutes of The Man Show every Wednesday.

24:35 Adam Well, during the commercial, we slide into the next room. Is it good? Oh, it is excellent. And as a matter of fact...

24:43 Incubus It's brand new, right?

24:45 Adam It's a couple months old, but it's first season.

24:49 Yeah, you get to everybody can drink at that, can't they?

24:52 Adam Yes, they can. And you can vote on it if you have a TV Guide ballot because it's in there for Best New Comedy or something like that. I don't know who the hell put that in there. I'm a big fan of that show. If we could just get through this show so I could get back to that show. Andrea?

25:10 Hello?

25:11 Adam You're 18.

25:11 Caller Hi. Oh, wow. I'm so excited to be talking to you.

25:15 Adam Great.

25:16 Caller Anyways, yeah, first of all, I'd like to thank you and Drew for talking about Planned Parenthood because I went down there.

25:22 Drew Great.

25:23 Caller And it was government funded.

25:25 Drew Excellent.

25:25 Caller So I got my pap smear and condoms and birth control all for free, and it was really great and everybody was really nice.

25:31 Drew Beautiful.

25:32 Caller Yay. Outstanding. My main question is, I go down on my boyfriend, but he doesn't have an orgasm and I've gone down on him for over an hour at a time, like several times, and he tells me that he gets close, but then he doesn't.

25:50 Drew We hear about this once in a while. Adam is always very disturbed when he hears that men sometimes don't.

25:54 Adam An hour, I just did the math. That's 23 orgasms for me.

25:58 Caller Yes, orally.

25:59 Adam Absolutely.

25:59 Drew And seven lifetimes.

26:00 Adam And in high school, yeah. High school, that would have been 147 orgasms in that hour.

26:07 Caller That's about where I'm at.

26:09 Adam Yeah, that's good. A lot of guys do not have this during oral sex. I don't trust them, but they're...

26:14 Drew You're one of them.

26:15 Adam Guys don't do that.

26:16 Drew Well, interview.

26:18 Incubus I actually am fascinated. Why? Why would that be?

26:20 Drew You don't know why.

26:21 Incubus I don't know why either. It's not that I don't enjoy it. I enjoy it wonderfully, but I just don't know why.

26:27 Drew Lusciously?

26:28 Incubus Lusciously, yeah.

26:29 Drew Nothing going on in your head about it.

26:30 Incubus No, it's like I'm enjoying it thoroughly, lusciously, and I don't know why.

26:36 Adam Do you think, and answer this honestly, if you stop playing Nintendo during the oral sex that you could focus?

26:42 Caller He doesn't play video games.

26:43 Adam No video?

26:44 Incubus Yeah, maybe if I turn off the TV.

26:46 That's the difference.

26:47 Caller That's the difference between.

26:48 Incubus Should I play video games? Yeah, play video games.

26:51 Caller It takes me about 18 seconds probably, and I play lots of video games.

26:56 Adam Andrea? See, it doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy it. It just means it's not working for him, and there's a lot of guys that are this way, and they don't admit it that often. You don't hear about it that much, but I would say, from doing this show, Drew, when you say 20% of guys, maybe more, maybe 25, 30%...

27:16 Drew Don't have this problem?

27:18 Adam Not that they couldn't have an orgasm, but that they usually don't. It's a little bit difficult, and they don't really prefer it.

27:25 Drew Yes, in that general category.

27:27 Adam And some of that is can't.

27:29 Drew Yes.

27:30 Adam Right.

27:30 Incubus Andrea, are you two having sex? Yes. Is he able to have orgasm?

27:35 Caller He's like 15 minutes into it.

27:37 Drew All right. Everything's fine. Don't worry about it. All right.

27:41 He just enjoys that a little more.

27:42 Incubus How old is he?

27:43 Caller He's 19.

27:44 Adam He's fine. That's just the way he's laid out. Okay?

27:49 Incubus I think maybe.

27:50 Drew You're talking to somebody who has the exact same-

27:51 Caller I feel really bad though, because he was down on me, and I have an orgasm, but I go down on him and nothing.

27:57 Incubus It's not that he doesn't enjoy it, I guarantee you. You're not doing anything wrong. It's just that he's just one of those people.

28:04 Adam What if he masturbated into a cup and then threw it at you? What are you doing there all set? Does that make you feel better?

28:11 I feel a little bit better.

28:13 Adam Yes, I've done that with the ladies. It's not quite the same, but they manage to salvage your dignity that way, right, Drew?

28:20 Caller I'll remember that.

28:21 Incubus Yeah, I'm going to remember that.

28:22 Caller I'm going to try that one time.

28:24 Adam If you can bounce it off your belly just right, you can get a sort of upward action on it that's fairly realistic.

28:30 Drew Can we have the vomit drop, please?

28:32 Adam Mike, Mike, you're 19. What's up there, Mike?

28:39 Caller Well, I've got this problem where, like, anytime I get close to a relationship with a girl, just anytime anything like sentimental stuff happens, any kind like touching words that show signs of commitment happen, I just get nauseous and I want to know how to fix it because it's getting me like a really bad reputation because-

29:01 Drew Because you've not been able to hang out with any relationships.

29:03 Caller Exactly.

29:03 Adam Well, why do you think you get physically nauseous when a relationship gets intimate?

29:10 Caller Yeah.

29:12 Drew Have you lost anybody?

29:13 Caller Have I lost anybody?

29:14 Drew Yeah, like had a close relationship that died or anything like that?

29:17 Caller Oh yeah, of course.

29:18 Drew Well, not of course. You're 19. That doesn't typically happen in the most 19 years.

29:21 Adam He's lost four wives.

29:23 Drew Well, whom have you lost?

29:25 Caller I've just had girlfriends for a year.

29:29 Adam Hey Mike, when Drew says lost, he doesn't mean like you went to the mall and then you had to go to the information counter in Pager.

29:36 Drew Or the maze in the castle down the street.

29:38 Adam No.

29:41 Caller I've had like really close relationships.

29:42 Adam He means like I got run over by a truck or something.

29:45 Caller Nobody's died now.

29:46 Adam No. Your mom is still around and everything?

29:49 Drew Yeah.

29:50 Incubus Have you been hurt badly by another, someone who's close to you?

29:53 Caller No, I haven't been screwed over at all.

29:55 Drew You had a relationship you set up to a year? Is that what you said?

29:59 Caller Yeah.

30:00 Incubus Yeah. What happened with that one? Did you get close to that person?

30:03 Caller Yeah.

30:05 Caller Things didn't work out.

30:07 Incubus As a result of your inability to...

30:11 Caller No, it wasn't as a result of any inability. I just like... One of them, I moved to LA., so, you know.

30:17 Incubus How's your attention span?

30:18 Do you get bored quickly?

30:20 Caller Yeah.

30:21 Incubus Yeah.

30:22 Caller You're young and indecisive.

30:24 Drew I don't know what's up. You had a relationship for a year, you're 19, that's like a record holding. That's no problem. That's a good run for a teenager.

30:33 Adam You're not as bad of shape as you think you are. People do a lot of questioning. We get people that call in 16-year-old girls. It's like, I've only been out on a few dates. What's wrong with me? Nobody wants me. I'm this old spinster. I'll never have a family. From puberty to 22, all bets are off. Here's what I think he's telling us.

30:56 Drew Yeah. I think he's telling us that he is unnaturally anxious by his own estimation.

31:00 Incubus He might be a player at heart.

31:02 Drew No, no. He's having anxieties, having symptoms and he doesn't understand them. They're not really that he can't get close. He's having overwhelming anxiety when he does get close to the point of nausea and that's a change for him. Maybe he's depressed or maybe this is...

31:14 Adam It could be because of friends.

31:15 Drew He said he moved. There's a lot of stuff going on. You get back in school, get focused, get connected with some friends and this should settle down.

31:21 Adam And you got to drink a little with a girl. Brandon?

31:24 Drew 14.

31:25 Adam What's up?

31:27 Drew Brandon's a girl name? What? Brandon, is that right? Yeah.

31:30 Adam Yeah, that's a girl name, right?

31:31 Incubus Hi, my name is Brandon.

31:32 Incubus Hi.

31:33 Adam Well, there's Brandon and then there's Brennan.

31:35 Drew This is Brennan.

31:37 Adam What's up there, Brennan?

31:38 Incubus I recently messed around with a guy and we didn't have sex, but he went down on me and he finger-banged me.

31:51 Adam We always hate that term.

31:55 Incubus There are better ways to say it.

31:57 Adam There really are, but we hate finger-banging.

32:00 Caller Manually stimulated you.

32:02 Adam Yeah, but see, the problem is everything else suggests manipulating the area, not penetrating in the area. Brennan?

32:13 Incubus Yes.

32:13 Adam He went down. How old is he?

32:15 Incubus I think he was 17.

32:17 Incubus You think?

32:18 Incubus Yeah.

32:19 Incubus Is that how old he said he was?

32:20 Incubus Well, I was with a group of friends and it was kind of like a party type thing.

32:26 Caller Oh, so everybody was watching? No.

32:29 Incubus No, we went in the bedroom.

32:31 Adam Very discreet. He may have been 17 or possibly older, right?

32:36 Incubus He was either 17 or 18. He was my friend's brother.

32:41 Adam Well.

32:41 Incubus He is my friend's brother.

32:42 Adam So what happened?

32:45 Incubus And recently I've had really irritations in the vaginal area.

32:52 Drew Any discharge?

32:54 Incubus Yeah, a lot.

32:55 Drew And you didn't have sex? It was just a manual thing?

32:58 Incubus Yeah.

32:59 Drew Interesting. Could it be? Is it like a whitish discharge?

33:02 Incubus Yeah.

33:03 Drew Maybe it's just a yeast infection? You're trying the over-the-counter yeast medicine?

33:08 Incubus No.

33:09 Drew Why don't you try some monistat or?

33:12 Adam Hey, Drew, should a guy wash his hands before he does that? Is that hell?

33:17 Drew Hey, would you want somebody to put in their hands in your mouth when they're filthy?

33:20 Incubus How does one contract a yeast infection?

33:22 Adam How does one get a yeast infection?

33:23 Drew Anything...

33:26 Adam Anything foreign?

33:28 Drew No, almost anything can trigger a yeast infection. Anything out of the ordinary.

33:32 Incubus It's not even necessarily someone, as she put it, finger-bending.

33:36 Drew No, not necessarily, but that can do it. So you need to get some of that gyneelotrimin or monistat over-the-counter. Try those creams, and if that doesn't get it to clear up, you've got to get seen, okay?

33:45 Caller They've got great commercials for all those products, too.

33:47 Drew Yeah, Adam keeps talking about using them.

33:49 Adam Yeah, they seem so effective that I want to use them.

33:53 Incubus Don't the women look so happy in those commercials?

33:55 Adam You've never seen women happier about yeast problems.

33:58 Incubus Running on the beach, they're like, this is great.

34:01 Adam Yeah, they got a nice big chocolate lab. They're throwing a piece of driftwood to it. It's all about, you know, let me explain what being a woman is about, fellas. I've learned from watching TV. It's about being free. It's about being free, free, free. There's no one around.

34:16 Caller Fresh like a summer's breeze.

34:18 Adam They're on a beach. There's not some fat guy walking on the beach. I go to the beach, a bunch of. They go to the beach, they just run up and down the beach. No one is around.

34:27 Drew They go to gyms where nobody...

34:28 Adam They go to gyms, there's nobody around unless they need somebody around to help them in their commercial.

34:33 Drew But then it's the boyfriend.

34:34 Adam It's all about, they're down at the lake. They're up... Women, chicks like to get up early in the morning and drink coffee out by the lake.

34:40 Drew They rally.

34:41 Adam Wants poetic about their coffee sometimes. Then they hit the beach and they talk about the yeast.

34:47 Incubus Infections and...

34:49 Adam Then they... But they're freed up. And all that height, all that feminine stuff, all the douche, all the tampons, it's all about freedom, man.

34:57 Drew A lot of flowers.

34:58 Adam That's right. I used to leave a trail of bloody discharge wherever I went. I get in a car beyond the 405 and see a trail going all the way to the airport. Not anymore. Baby, I'm free.

35:13 Free to bleed.

35:15 Adam Free to run on the beach. Free to play with my dog. That's what it's about. It's about freedom. Speaking of that, a lot of wind-blowing things around.

35:26 Drew Breezes, blowing white gowns and pants.

35:28 Incubus Slow motion too. What's up with the slow motion thing?

35:30 Adam A lot of waking up in the morning and throwing the curtains open.

35:34 Drew A lot of daisies, a lot of blue water.

35:38 Adam Flowers. Yeah. Everything is like these. Viruses. Everything is like Martha's Vineyard Beach House, you know.

35:45 Caller We've been talking about this for a while.

35:46 Adam Yeah, I'm really.

35:47 Incubus This is a good theory.

35:48 Adam I think we're a little jealous, quite frankly. I wish I had that kind of freedom.

35:51 Incubus You just got to get up early.

35:53 All right.

35:53 Adam We're going to. Oh, you know, we forgot that Dirk, the bassist from Incubus is. Hello?

36:01 Yeah.

36:02 Caller Hello.

36:03 I'm just calling to grill the guys because I wasn't allowed on the show.

36:06 Adam Yeah, what is up with that?

36:07 Caller What can I help you with? This is Jesus and pals.

36:10 Caller I'm just bitter. That's nothing else.

36:12 Incubus But why? Why weren't you allowed on the show?

36:14 Drew Hey, Dirk, you would have to sit here and live through a diatribe about.

36:18 Adam Douche.

36:18 Drew Dating and douche and.

36:21 Caller But what does this really mean? I mean, how does this make you feel?

36:24 Caller It makes me feel like the band needs to go back to therapy.

36:28 Caller Would you help us with this?

36:29 Adam I want you to know that I was not going to keep you on hold during the commercial and show you that kind of disrespect, but that Drew was perfectly willing to do that. Were you not, Drew?

36:39 Drew Nope. I put the number up there. Oh, please. Hey, I put it up there five minutes ago before you started your diatribe.

36:45 Adam Oh, the camarity. You lie.

36:47 I called in and the lady didn't think it was really me. I'm like, I swear to God, I'm in this band.

36:52 Caller We don't think it's you either.

36:53 Incubus Derek, you got props, though. Did you hear those boys earlier?

36:55 I heard the kids saying, yeah, the drummer and the bass player.

36:57 Caller They didn't say anything about the guitar player. Yeah, they didn't mention the DJ either.

37:02 Incubus So there you go, guy.

37:03 You're not speaking up enough.

37:04 Caller So this is how we validate ourself, okay? Ourselves.

37:07 Adam All right, when you break off and do your own solo project, then you come in here.

37:11 Wow.

37:13 Caller You're not giving me a lot of chances there.

37:16 Caller When was the last time you had the solo bassist on the show?

37:19 Adam Well, we had John Entwistle in here in 1977.

37:24 Incubus Did you ever have Victor Wooten?

37:26 Adam No, we didn't have Wooter in here.

37:29 Caller No, but you had Michelle Ngogecello.

37:32 Drew Ndegocello. That's right.

37:33 Adam That's true.

37:34 Drew That's right. Solo bassist.

37:35 Adam We did have her in here.

37:36 Caller Michelle Ngogecello.

37:38 Incubus Dirk, there's hope yet.

37:40 Drew Dirk. All right, Dirk. We're going to play a song.

37:42 Adam We're going to take a break and we're going to play a song. And when we do, we're going to dedicate it to you, okay?

37:46 Caller Say hi to Jose for us.

37:47 Adam All right. Hang on a second.

37:48 Caller Hi, Jose.

37:49 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. Incubus is here. We'll come back after this.

37:56 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline. All right.

38:25 Adam Gilmore, Brandon, Mike are all here from Incubus tonight. I think what we're going to do, because Drew, you want some more coffee, right?

38:31 Drew Absolutely.

38:32 Caller I think they're bringing some more in. Actually.

38:34 Adam There you go. That's the sound of Drew's empty coffee mug. You know what I love about Drew? He can drink three pots of coffee and be asleep at 1230.

38:41 Drew 1236.

38:42 Adam And get home at 1231?

38:44 Caller Yeah.

38:45 Drew Seriously.

38:47 Adam Really?

38:48 Incubus Does it hype you up or is it just like a drink?

38:50 Drew It doesn't do anything to me either. It prevents me from falling asleep when I'm driving home.

38:54 Adam Right. Wow.

38:55 Drew But it doesn't prevent me from falling asleep three seconds after I arrive at home.

38:58 Adam God. You see, I can't go to bed the second I get home because it means the day starts when I go to bed.

39:04 Drew You can do what I do. You can get up at 6.

39:06 Adam Well, I could do what you do, which is start going to bed at 1045 on this show. No, I got to do my job. I got to be here until 12, baby. You understand? Acceptable.

39:16 Drew I promise you, if you got up at 6 o'clock, you'd be asleep again at 1230.

39:20 Adam You get up at 12, take a leak and get back in bed. Smoke pot till one in the afternoon in your footed jammies with the trap door on the side for your bag.

39:30 Drew How did you know about that?

39:31 Adam That's a good invention. Jammies for old people, trap door on the side for the bag. Write that down, Drew. Alright, this Make Yourself is the name of the CD and this is Incubus and this one is called Pardon Me. A lovely smattering of applause from the gallery. That is Incubus, and that is pardon me, and that is good.

43:31 Caller Thank you.

43:32 Adam Yeah.

43:32 Caller Thanks.

43:33 Adam I can see why the kids are starting bands based on the Incubus. Miguel?

43:38 Caller What's up?

43:39 Adam You're 16.

43:39 Drew We got to have one called Homunculus.

43:44 Caller Well, I had a question for Incubus. What's up? Well, I see you guys five times live, right?

43:51 Incubus Wow.

43:52 Caller And the last time I saw you guys in person was at the Vant Show. I went up to you, Brandon, at the end of the show. Oh, yeah.

43:57 Incubus I remember.

43:58 Caller My little school project. Yeah.

43:59 Incubus How's it going?

44:00 Caller Yeah.

44:01 Adam What was your school project?

44:03 Caller It was a picture that I had to do of them from Photoshop. I just organized their picture and put a bunch of stuff in it. You know? I don't know.

44:12 Incubus What did you get? What was your grade?

44:13 Drew He's called a Montage.

44:15 Incubus I got an A.

44:16 Drew Collage.

44:16 Incubus You got an A?

44:18 Caller I got an A.

44:18 Incubus All right. There you go, man.

44:25 Caller Well, man, guess what?

44:26 Incubus What's that?

44:27 Caller I had taken my smoke or tickets, two smoke or tickets, so you get to sign them, but I lost them.

44:32 Incubus Oh, no.

44:33 Caller I lost them at the show. Bad news bears.

44:35 Adam You're smoking too much weed, Miguel.

44:37 Caller Bad news.

44:38 Adam You don't? I don't ever start smoking because there's some guys that have a genetic predisposition to sounding stoned. You know what I'm saying?

44:49 Incubus No, don't eat it.

44:51 Caller Yeah.

44:52 Adam There are usually guys who speak like this. They go, hey, man, guess what?

44:59 Drew Like Cheech?

45:00 Adam Yeah, where you go? I don't know. I'll tell you. Guess what?

45:06 Incubus That was my head.

45:08 Drew Let's stay on the theme of school projects.

45:10 Adam Nathan, you're 15. What's up?

45:14 Caller Hey, Incubus. I think you guys are pretty cool, man. I have a demo tape for you guys from a while ago.

45:20 Caller Burn it, please.

45:21 Incubus Burn it quickly.

45:22 Caller From a recess.

45:22 Caller And run as fast as you can.

45:23 Incubus Away from it.

45:25 Caller What's that?

45:25 Incubus Hello.

45:26 Caller Oh, nothing.

45:27 Caller Anyways, I thought it was pretty cool. Anyways, Adam, yesterday in my class, my English class, I picked you to do for a hero. Wow.

45:39 Incubus This is the flattery show.

45:41 Adam This is English class?

45:42 Caller Yeah. And my teacher wouldn't let me do you. She wouldn't let me do like right on you.

45:46 Drew Thank goodness.

45:49 Adam She's jealous.

45:50 Incubus You're a good person to do for a role model hero.

45:53 Adam Yeah. What about switching over to Drew?

45:56 Caller Oh, yeah. Drew's cool, but I like you because you like, because like I like the man show and stuff.

46:01 Adam Why wouldn't she let you do me, as you say?

46:06 Caller Well, I don't know. She said it has to be like a superhero, not a superhero, but like.

46:12 Caller I'm sorry, but Adam is a superhero.

46:15 Adam Let me tell you something.

46:16 Caller You should see his muscles. He looks, I mean.

46:18 Adam I may be no Abe Lincoln, but I have lit farts on this show, Drew. And that is superhero type activity. Yeah.

46:27 Caller Yeah. That's like, I don't know. That's what I like.

46:29 Adam Cool.

46:29 Caller And then also like The Man Show. I love The Man Show too. And that's why I don't know that kind of stuff.

46:33 Adam All right. So what did what what kind of alternatives did she give you? Do you have to do some historical figure or something like that?

46:40 Caller Like James Bond and other stuff like that.

46:42 Adam James Bond. What does he got that you.

46:44 Caller Oh, that stuff.

46:46 Adam Hey, Nathan, listen, James Bond is a fictional character. I mean, come on. He doesn't even really exist.

46:54 Caller I know. That's what I said.

46:55 Adam There's like four of those guys by now.

46:57 Incubus That's what I was about to say.

46:58 Adam Yeah. Hey, Nathan, this is America. You need to sue. You need to get the ACLU involved with this. Claim it. Are you of a certain nationality?

47:11 Caller No, no. Just German-Mexican.

47:13 Adam German-Mexican. That's good. You say the white man is holding you down. This is a cultural thing. You say, in Mexico, I'm considered a god. You explain. And that there's churches and schools named after me. Señor Adam, they call me over there.

47:31 Drew Adam Quetzalcoatl.

47:32 Adam Adam Quetzalcoatl. What's that mean? You're lucky. I don't know what that means.

47:36 Drew Rondes exitos en español.

47:38 Adam All right. Nathan, you need representation because you have to fight for this. You understand? OK.

47:45 Caller Yeah, anyway, I was just kind of pissed, though. Also, the man show's not on tonight.

47:48 Adam Yeah, I don't know what happened. I think they're running some special on Jonathan Winters or something.

47:53 Caller Yeah, something like that.

47:54 Adam All right. I think it's maybe it's on Friday. I don't know. Yeah, I should have. I should have researched that.

48:01 Drew Are these real words?

48:02 Adam I don't know. It's great radio where you just start reading things. And hey, Drew, how long have you been doing radio, you jackass?

48:11 Drew Time for a break.

48:12 Adam Seriously, how long have you been doing radio? Did you pick a book up that no one knows is in the studio and start reciting from it in some sort of fragmented way and expect the listeners to know what the F you're talking about?

48:22 Drew It's done OK with this technique.

48:23 Adam No, it's not.

48:24 Drew It has.

48:25 Adam It's barely.

48:27 Incubus Read us something from there. What you got?

48:28 Adam It's done OK with this technique.

48:29 Drew Obsolagnium.

48:30 Incubus What's that?

48:31 Drew It's the fading of sexual desire in old age.

48:34 Caller Wow.

48:34 Incubus Obsolagnium.

48:35 Adam All right. We're going to look up Beat Drew with the bookium.

48:38 Caller Will you give us a new band name out of there? Because our names are stupid.

48:41 Incubus I was about to say, kids out there starting a band.

48:43 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little-

48:45 Drew Ficaloid.

48:45 Caller Ficaloid.

48:46 Incubus I know what that means.

48:46 Caller So the kids that they called that said they're starting a band, your band has to be called Ficaloid.

48:50 Adam Like if I had kids, they'd be Ficaloid?

48:55 Caller At the band's if they were- Composed of Fical Matter?

48:58 Adam Well, mainly.

48:59 Caller They're Ficaloids.

48:59 Adam Some salt and some water, but mostly Fical Matter. We'll take a little break and we'll be back after this.

49:07 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

49:38 Adam It's Loveline. We're going to take a quick ten-second time out. We'll be back with more of the show in just ten seconds.

49:58 Adam All right, it is the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Incubus is our guest tonight. Make yourselves the name of the CD. We'll hear something else off of that before the night is through. Drew has himself a book.

50:13 Drew It's your book, right?

50:15 Adam It was brought in and set down before me, but it's not my book.

50:18 Drew It's a depraved English book, and it's basically a lot of sort of interesting jargon on what, but they've got a word in here, I just found just before the break ended, that describes Adam, as you've described yourself.

50:28 Adam Hunko Erecti?

50:29 Drew The word is Rantallion.

50:33 Adam Rantallion, that's an Italian American who drives a beige four-door Taurus.

50:44 Drew So in the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, it was defined as, one whose shot pouch is longer than the barrel of his piece. So a man or boy whose scrotum hangs lower than his penis.

50:59 Adam Well, that would be an insult except for my penis. I mean, my scrotum hangs 14 inches from where it's attached.

51:08 Drew There you go.

51:08 Adam Thank you. True. That is not true unless it's cold or I'm walking.

51:15 Drew All right.

51:16 Adam What do they call that?

51:17 Incubus Wonderful visuals right now.

51:18 Adam Rantallion? I like that.

51:20 Caller You have to say it with an accent, Rantallion.

51:22 Adam Rantallion.

51:24 Incubus And put your hand in the air.

51:25 Adam It's like a musketeer. They don't talk about it.

51:28 Caller Poor thoughts.

51:31 Adam D'Artagnan.

51:31 Caller Rantallion.

51:32 Incubus It's the family across the river. The Rantallions are coming.

51:35 Caller Quickly.

51:36 Caller Hide your sheep. Where's Rantallion?

51:38 Adam He's dragging his balls. He should be along anytime now.

51:43 Caller Let us jump the hilly brush.

51:44 Adam Rantallion will never make it.

51:46 Caller His tremendous scrotum will not clear the shrub.

51:51 Adam Hey, Scott? Yes. You're 25. I think I just came up with a kid's book. All right. Go ahead there, Scott.

52:00 Caller All right. I'm going to Las Vegas next weekend. The prostitution is legalized out there. I just want to know if I have-

52:07 Drew It's not in the city.

52:08 Adam No, it's not. But you can score.

52:12 Caller Okay.

52:13 Adam Don't worry.

52:13 Incubus Now where prostitution is legal, they have the female version of Rantallion.

52:18 Adam The boobs hang down lower than the vagina.

52:21 Incubus They have what we call tooth, not teeth, but tooth.

52:24 Adam One tooth.

52:24 Incubus Yeah.

52:25 Adam Scott?

52:26 Incubus Careful, Scott.

52:26 Adam You ever been to one of those ranches?

52:28 Incubus No.

52:28 Caller No, never.

52:29 Adam Okay. So Scott, do you want to go to one of these ranches that are in Nevada or do you want to get yourself a streetwalker?

52:36 Caller Oh, no, no, no. One of the ranches.

52:38 Adam You want to go to a ranch?

52:39 Incubus The safe one.

52:40 Adam Yeah. Now the ranch, the ranches are not that close to the strip. As a matter of fact, they take private planes and stuff out there.

52:48 Caller I'm there for five days, so I have all the time in the world.

52:51 Adam Okay. Well, you can go out to one of those ranches and have yourself a time, but it's not like you're going to hop in a cab on the strip and take it to one of those ranches.

53:01 Caller I'm sure you probably could.

53:03 Adam Well, you could, but it'd be $785.

53:06 Incubus Go win in the casino and then go do it.

53:10 Adam Hey, Scott?

53:11 Caller Yes.

53:11 Adam Did you have a question?

53:13 Caller Yes. I just want to know if it's possible to get a sexual transmitted disease a lot easier out there.

53:21 Adam From banging a hooker? No. No, that's never happened.

53:25 Drew What are you talking about, Scott?

53:27 Adam Yes.

53:27 Drew Probably a lot easier.

53:28 Adam What Scott is asking is, and it's a decent question, which is these women, it's legal at the ranch. These women are checked regularly.

53:36 Drew I see. They're just the risk.

53:37 Adam They're safer.

53:39 Drew I don't know that to be true, but it's possible that they're safer, but they're not safe.

53:44 Adam But they're safer and they're reasonably safe. Yeah. Well, I mean, they're getting checked all the time. You wear a condom, it's not too bad.

53:53 Incubus Wear a four.

53:55 Adam Yeah. You know what it's like? It's like you could buy a hot dog at the supermarket and be reasonably sure it'd be good, or you can just buy one off one of those ones on the street with the guys put the propane tank under the shopping cart and it's cooking them right out there by the forum.

54:10 Incubus Yeah.

54:10 Drew When you assess like AIDS risk, you don't say sex with a prostitution, except those living in and around Las Vegas. No, it's sex with a prostitute is a risk.

54:18 Adam If you were going to have sex with a prostitute, wouldn't you want it to be in a place that was regulated and that they were being checked up on regularly?

54:27 Drew It's worse in Nairobi or Camp Thailand or something. Right.

54:30 Adam Well, now wait a minute. Now, let me make this argument. Maybe in a certain way, it's safer than just going to a party and picking up some chick who's made the rounds because at least these women are regulated. I mean, they're checked on a regular basis.

54:44 Caller How regularly are they checked?

54:46 Drew Is it possible?

54:50 Caller Yeah, but is it possible for a guy to come in and have sex with one of the women who's infected with something and then immediately after have sex with, woman have sex with another man?

55:03 Drew That actually isn't how you would get-

55:05 Caller Can that happen?

55:06 Drew No, they need to have an infection themselves to pass it.

55:08 Adam Hey, Scott? Yes. Listen, they'll make you wear a condom, so go ahead.

55:13 Incubus The fact of the matter is too, if you're going to do it, you're putting yourself at a higher risk because these women are sleeping with, you know they're sleeping with people on a regular basis.

55:21 Caller The decision is yours.

55:23 Incubus Choose wisely.

55:24 Caller All right.

55:24 Adam Hey, Scott?

55:25 Caller Yes.

55:25 Adam You can't get laid over here? Where are you calling from?

55:29 Caller Chicago.

55:30 Adam You can't get laid in Chicago?

55:32 Caller I can. It's just I'm very shy.

55:35 Adam I see. All right. And see, here's the whole thing. I couldn't hang in one of those brothels because I'm shy. You know, I mean, talk about being shy. You walk into a place, there's 15 chicks all lined up on the bar. You got to pick one and then go to some room in some, you know, corrugated tin shack and banger while some other guy's ass is smacking up against the wall. Next year's, I mean, talk about being shy.

56:01 Incubus And you have huge security guy waiting outside the door.

56:05 Caller Everything all right in there.

56:07 Adam Right.

56:08 Incubus I mean, waiting for you.

56:09 Adam Even people that weren't shy, you think would have a little difficulty performing. But anyway, I would say would be reasonably safe. And so would Drew. Drew, you've been to some of these places, haven't you?

56:20 Drew Oh, sure. Plenty. Yeah.

56:22 Caller Okay.

56:24 Adam Tiffany?

56:25 Yeah.

56:25 Adam You're 19?

56:26 Caller Yeah.

56:27 Adam What's up?

56:29 Caller Well, I just broke up with my boyfriend. It's close to our three-year anniversary, actually, this Friday.

56:35 And three year?

56:37 Caller Three years. And I don't know, it's just kind of like all of his friends are like my good friends and he's treating me like a little girl and he doesn't-

56:50 Adam Hey, hey, Tardette? That's a female retardo. You can't use the S word on the air as much as you'd like to, okay?

56:58 Caller I'd say poop.

56:59 Caller Yeah.

57:00 Adam Okay. So he's treating you like poop. And you want to know what?

57:04 Caller And I want to know, is there any way I could be friends with his friends again? And I don't know, I've grown attractions to some of them.

57:13 Adam Oh, yeah. No. It's payback time.

57:14 Yeah, you need it.

57:16 Adam Treat her like crap, will you? It's payback time. Which one of them do you want to have sex with?

57:23 Caller Well, just one. But it's, I don't know, it's just weird. I feel like it's wrong. Well, we've already kind of done a little.

57:32 Caller Well, you just said it. You feel like it's wrong.

57:34 Caller Yeah, but see, it's not wrong, because I really have feelings for this guy.

57:37 Incubus Is he a good friend of your ex-boyfriends?

57:40 Caller Kind of close.

57:41 Incubus Just know for a fact that there's no easy way around this. That breaking up with them is going to be really hard. And if you sleep with one of his friends, that's going to make it much more difficult.

57:51 Adam Who dumped who? He dumped you?

57:52 Caller I dumped him.

57:53 Adam You dumped him?

57:54 Caller Yeah.

57:54 Adam Oh, you dumped him and you're going to have sex with one of his friends?

57:57 Drew Because what did he do?

57:58 Adam What did he do? He must have cheated on you.

57:59 Caller You're mean.

58:01 Adam What did he do to you?

58:02 Caller Well, it's just he makes me clean his room and do his laundry.

58:06 Caller That's your fault.

58:08 Adam Yeah.

58:09 Caller I'm just tired of doing all of it.

58:10 Caller It's your fault.

58:11 Adam All right.

58:11 Drew The relationship's over.

58:12 Adam It's payback time, isn't it?

58:13 Caller Payback time.

58:14 Adam Yeah.

58:15 Caller Well, I really want to be friends with him and I want to hang out with the-

58:19 Incubus That's not how you do it.

58:20 Caller All my girls hang out with all of his friends.

58:22 Caller Be prepared for battle.

58:23 Drew It doesn't work like that.

58:24 Adam Yeah, trust me. Hey, Tiffany, how long have you guys been broken up?

58:28 Caller About a couple of days.

58:30 Adam Give it another six hours.

58:33 Drew Four or six months.

58:34 Adam Listen, can you not have sex with one of his friends for just-

58:37 Caller Oh, yeah. It's not even a big problem. I mean, don't hang out.

58:40 Adam Yeah, I guarantee by Friday she's on this guy. Tiffany, give it a few weeks, please.

58:46 Caller All right.

58:46 Adam Just lay low, would you?

58:48 Caller Okay.

58:48 Adam Could you do that?

58:49 Caller I can do that.

58:50 Adam Okay. Okay. See, I was getting that vibe too, a little payback vibe. Don't mess with women. They will pay you back. They absolutely will and they can and they'll have sex with any of your friends and your friends will do it. They can't help it.

59:04 Incubus Watch out. We can go to a brothel in Nevada and have some fun there.

59:07 Adam That's right. We can bang some 42-year-old who just had a hysterectomy. With a tooth. Okay. You know, I always think about when you go to Vegas, you see those brochures for all these ranches, Mustang Ranch or Chicken Ranch, and they have private planes that take you out there. And I always thought, what if the plane crashes? How's that going to be explained to the family, the grieving widow, the kids and stuff? What if one hand died in a plane crash? Oh, in Vegas? Oh, I didn't hear about that. It was a big, was it out of Burbank? No. Where's it going? It's going to bang some hookers and prop fell off. It's still sad though.

59:45 Caller Yeah.

59:48 Adam Sarah.

59:49 Oh, hi.

59:50 Adam You're 18.

59:51 Yeah. I had a question. First of all, I wanted to say, Dr. Drew, you're so great and thank you very much for all your help, and you too, Adam. And what happened was I was molested when I was 11 years old, and it came out and I told my mother, and she was very upset about it. She was very irritated with me. She yelled at me. And eventually, we got things settled, and she pulled me aside, and she said that it would never happen again. And this guy was my aunt's fiance's son.

1:00:28 Drew How did your mom find out about it?

1:00:30 I told her. I got up enough courage a while after, it was a while after, and told her.

1:00:35 Adam A while, years or months?

1:00:37 Um, like a year and a half.

1:00:40 Adam And this is your aunt's fiance, her sister's?

1:00:43 Right.

1:00:44 Adam Fiance's son? Correct. So, new second marriage or something like that?

1:00:48 Drew Like a nephew-in-law, nephew, step-nephew.

1:00:51 Adam No, listen, your aunt was marrying someone who had a kid?

1:00:55 Right.

1:00:55 Adam Right, okay.

1:00:56 Drew And how old was he?

1:00:57 Um, he was, I think, 17 or maybe even 18.

1:01:00 Drew And this is when you were 11?

1:01:02 Adam Yeah.

1:01:02 Drew Did anything ever happen to you before that?

1:01:04 Um, no, I had, my father's an alcoholic, and he left when I was younger. They got divorced, and I was kind of shuffled around a lot with my family.

1:01:15 Adam So your mom's sister isn't such a great decision-maker herself?

1:01:20 No, she's not, but I spent a lot of time with her and my other aunts and my grandparents. Oh boy.

1:01:25 Adam Now what's this guy up to now?

1:01:27 And, well, this is the problem. She said I would never have to see him, and that she said she can't do anything about it, and that his father would punish him and take care of the matter. And that would be it, and not to say anything. My family, especially my grandparents, did not like my aunt's fiance. They said that, you know, that if I said something to my grandparents or any of my family found out that they would hate Greg, and it would be my fault.

1:01:58 Adam Who said this to your mom?

1:01:59 My mom.

1:02:00 Adam Yeah, that's nice.

1:02:02 And so I felt so awful, you know? I'm like torn between my mother and what I think is right and wrong.

1:02:09 Adam All right. Well, now where are you with it?

1:02:11 Now it came where Thanksgiving and then Christmas just came. And then I had to see him at my family's gatherings.

1:02:22 Adam And did he rape you? I mean, was this did he was he a version or a violent forceful?

1:02:28 I mean, he wasn't really as violent. He was really manipulative, I guess you could say.

1:02:36 Adam Yeah.

1:02:36 Yeah. He was just really he's just really weird.

1:02:40 Adam Right. You know, to say the least.

1:02:42 Yeah, it was it was bad. And so I have to see him. And then and it was so hard for me to even say like something like ever happened to me like that.

1:02:54 Adam I would do OK. So, yeah.

1:02:57 And also and then I was raped by my last boyfriend. And I didn't think it was right. But I guess even you, Dr. Drew, would say that.

1:03:05 Adam Hold on a second there, sir. See, this is this is what happens. They come from these these moms and these families, dads and alcoholic moms, a kind of woman who's like, OK, so you got raped or molested.

1:03:17 Caller But let's we'll take care of it.

1:03:19 Adam Yeah. Well, let's not let's not stir anything up.

1:03:22 Drew And by all means, don't tell grandma, grandpa.

1:03:23 Adam I'm sure something happened to mom at some point. You come from this environment and you become susceptible. I mean, your chances of being raped or molested just grow a hundredfold when you come from this kind of this kind of environment. That's why we can always predict that if someone says, you know, I got raped at 13, it's like, what happened before that?

1:03:46 Incubus Yeah, exactly.

1:03:47 Adam Something happened before that and what's gonna happen again? What happened with your fiance when you were 19?

1:03:52 Caller Well, it's also, you know, where's the parental support, you know?

1:03:56 Drew Right.

1:03:57 Caller If you get raped or molested or something, your parents should have your back and try to help you through it, not tell you to hold it in.

1:04:03 Adam Well, it's the whole environment that sort of fostered it in the first place.

1:04:06 Drew The bad boundaries.

1:04:07 Adam Sarah? It's ironic, if they were parents that were good with that, it wouldn't have happened in the first place. You wouldn't have needed them.

1:04:14 Right, right. And you know, I agree. And part of the thing is that I am starting to understand that. And through listening to you guys, you don't understand how much that helps me. Good. It helps me so much. I would never have thought that I was raped or molested.

1:04:30 Adam Good for you.

1:04:31 Caller Well, you sound confident in what you're talking about.

1:04:33 Adam Our goal in the show is to have everyone in America convinced they've been raped. That's my personal opinion.

1:04:40 Drew Well, they all have been, so they might as well know.

1:04:41 Adam Everyone has.

1:04:42 It's so informing like that to me. I never had that thought.

1:04:44 Adam So what do you want to do now?

1:04:46 Well, the thing is, is that I've been going to say, I was just hospitalized for suicide. I was going to kill myself. I had the plan and everything. I just didn't have the energy.

1:04:57 Adam What was the plan?

1:05:00 Where I live, there's a dam and the river, the dam, and I thought that if I jumped in the dam, that the current is so strong that will take me under, and that there wouldn't be, it's a really, you have a really high risk of not surviving.

1:05:15 Adam Right.

1:05:15 So I wanted to make sure that if I did it, I died. I didn't want to have, like, run my car into a tree or jump off a bridge where maybe I could have lived, you know?

1:05:26 Adam Yeah.

1:05:27 Yeah, that was my plan.

1:05:28 Adam Yeah, well, what happened with the damn plan?

1:05:31 I had talked to a friend and she was kind of, you know, making me feel bad, kind of like she did the whole, I'll miss you, don't do that, it's selfish, kind of.

1:05:41 Adam Can I have your car, that sort of thing?

1:05:44 Yeah, that kind of thing. Right now, I'm in therapy and I have been for a couple of years. I was diagnosed with bipolar.

1:05:51 Drew Have they discussed this issue?

1:05:53 I wouldn't discuss it with them.

1:05:55 Drew You've got to discuss it.

1:05:56 It just came out because I get so, like, embarrassed about it.

1:06:01 Drew You've got to discuss it.

1:06:01 Adam Sarah, this is the one you've got to talk about.

1:06:03 Drew That's the one critical thing.

1:06:05 Adam Oh, yeah. I mean, this is like bringing your car in with a blown engine and talking about a rip in the headliner.

1:06:12 Drew Right.

1:06:13 Adam I mean, this is the number one priority.

1:06:15 Drew Yep. You're wasting your time.

1:06:18 Adam You're jumping off a dam. That's a novel. Girls don't kill themselves by jumping off. I would not. Here, let's talk about killing yourself for a second. The people that jump off the buildings, I can't believe that. Because to me, I couldn't get myself to do it. I mean, I could not look over the edge of a skyscraper 50 stories up and physically get myself to push off the edge. You know what I'm saying?

1:06:42 Caller That's why you're not suicidal.

1:06:45 Adam I know I could do it with a carbon monoxide. Because to me, I look at that as an extended nap.

1:06:50 Drew Right.

1:06:51 Adam I have such a love of napping.

1:06:53 Drew Like finally.

1:06:54 Adam My final nap. That's my greatest nap. That's what I look at death as. Finally, Adam's greatest nap. His coup de nappe, everybody. He's never napped so long or so well.

1:07:05 Caller Well, there's also something to be said for making like a public display of it.

1:07:10 Adam I think some people want to do that. The other thing that I can't believe, but it happens with these celebrities, the guy we had on the show from Suddenly Susan, who he killed himself a couple of days later in Vegas. And Ray Combs, a game show host. They hang themselves like in prison or in a hotel room or something. With like a shoestring or some dental floss or some suspenders or something. How does that work?

1:07:33 Incubus You could take days to kill yourself.

1:07:36 Caller I couldn't even...

1:07:38 Adam Yeah, I mean, like I can't get into my car with a coat hanger. I mean, how am I going to kill myself with some shoelaces? You know what I mean? Like hanging... I'd put it around my neck. I'd lean over.

1:07:49 Caller I'd go, Ah!

1:07:50 Caller Son of a bitch! What the...

1:07:52 Adam I got to watch TV and think, I got to rehash it. I mean, how do you kill yourself with that, Drew?

1:07:57 Drew Well, the blood gets cut off to the brain.

1:07:59 Adam But don't you have a reflex where you have to like...

1:08:03 Caller When you're not breathing and you have to like grab your...

1:08:05 Drew But when you're total body weight, you're suspended by your body weight, you can't just do it like that.

1:08:09 Adam But these guys, they're not even off the chandelier sometimes. They're just like kind of leaned up against it. I think Ray Combs did it. He had... It was a closet pole. Wow. You know what I mean? Closet poles like... I mean, Ray was a short guy, so maybe that was it. But the closet pole is like five feet off the ground. I mean...

1:08:27 Drew It was a pipe in the closet.

1:08:29 Adam Up above?

1:08:30 Incubus Yeah.

1:08:31 Caller I think it was a closet pole.

1:08:32 Incubus He hung himself?

1:08:33 Drew Yeah.

1:08:33 Adam Yeah. But it's still...

1:08:35 Caller You know what I mean?

1:08:36 Adam Like I could understand being totally distraught, handful of pills, fifth of scotch and just put an end to it. But the whole hanging and jumping off a dam and all that just couldn't do it. Mike?

1:08:49 Caller Hi.

1:08:50 Adam Hey.

1:08:50 Caller How are you?

1:08:51 Adam Drew, can you get me those pills just in case things go wrong?

1:08:54 Drew I'm sorry.

1:08:55 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:08:56 Drew Yeah.

1:08:57 Caller I wanted to know if there's like a problem with me because I masturbate a lot, right? Like my friends always make fun of me.

1:09:03 Drew How do your friends know about it?

1:09:05 Caller Well, like we go around, like we don't go around, but like we talk about it. They're like, hey, dude.

1:09:11 Caller It doesn't sound like it's a problem.

1:09:13 Caller Because I look pretty old, right? So I buy them forms and stuff. And they're like, hey, dude, have you checked it out? Like, yeah, right before I give it to him, right? Like, yeah, this girl looks pretty good. And this girl looks pretty good. He's like, seriously?

1:09:24 Adam I'm like, yeah.

1:09:25 Caller But then I tell him like how many times I jerk off and like, oh my God, I can't believe it.

1:09:31 Incubus How many times a day on average?

1:09:34 Caller I don't know, it varies from like maybe like eight times.

1:09:38 Incubus Oh my God. No, seriously.

1:09:40 Caller Well, not every day, not every day. Like sometimes I can do eight and then sometimes I don't do it at all.

1:09:45 Incubus Do you actually achieve orgasm every time too?

1:09:48 Caller Well, not all the time.

1:09:49 Incubus You just do it just because it's fun, like the motion of it.

1:09:51 Caller The first couple of times you're like, you're like, no, all right. But then like after a while, all you get is that feeling.

1:09:59 Caller What's the problem?

1:09:59 Caller It comes out.

1:10:00 Incubus So what's the problem?

1:10:01 Caller Well, they're always making fun of me.

1:10:04 Caller So tell them to stop.

1:10:07 Caller And like, wait a second, is that really a problem?

1:10:10 Adam Mike, they may be making fun of you for other reasons.

1:10:13 Caller Right.

1:10:13 Caller You might have bad hair or some.

1:10:15 Drew No, I just listen to Mike Koppell.

1:10:16 Adam Yeah, Mike, he sounds like baby Uey. Of course. I was like, Mike, when you start walking down the hall, Adam, you know what they hear? They hear, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

1:10:32 Caller Mike, hey, boy, I have some new born, boss.

1:10:40 Adam I busted out on the first one, but I haven't had nothing coming out. Well, it felt good. Drew, should we go through the chronology of what comes out of my penis?

1:10:54 Drew Yes, please.

1:10:54 Adam All right. Seamen comes out the first time.

1:10:58 Drew First time? Second time?

1:11:00 Adam I still get some semen, a little semen, a little less. Less, but significantly less semen. Clear.

1:11:04 Drew Clearing.

1:11:05 Adam It's clear, but it's still semen. See through the semen. The third time, just a little powder. Yeah, powder semen.

1:11:13 Incubus That's happened to me, too.

1:11:15 Adam And after, like, open a window or something to clear the room. I actually set the smoke detector off once with it, because it'll respond to that. It doesn't have to actually be smoke. Number four? Number four is confetti.

1:11:30 Incubus Do you ever get the little thing that goes bang and the sign comes down in the?

1:11:33 Adam That's five. Like, out of the gun.

1:11:35 Incubus You and me. We're seeing.

1:11:36 Adam Out of the gun. Yeah, like the novel, the Three Stooges gun.

1:11:39 Incubus Exactly.

1:11:40 Adam That's fifth. Six is my soul. Hard to detect, but it's there. I can feel its presence. Seven? Seven, this might be a little ethereal, but my essence comes out, my being, my very being.

1:11:57 Caller Wow. Your life force.

1:11:59 Drew There's actually a factor of experience when that comes out.

1:12:01 Adam Yeah, my chi. Yeah, I can feel the life. When people like paramedics talk about the guy was dead on the side of the road and he could feel his life come out of him, or they talk about hovering over your body and looking down.

1:12:15 Incubus That's why Mike talks like that, is these feelings of elation from after being so many times.

1:12:19 Drew Seen the white light every time.

1:12:21 Adam And eight would be the ghost, the ghost that comes out, like the ghost that bugged Casper, the goofball ghost, flies around the room, opens its mouth real big, flies right over at me, I go right through its mouth.

1:12:35 Caller What happens if you're having intercourse with somebody once you get to the seventh, eighth? The bang is a tough one. Yeah, what happens to the receiver?

1:12:46 Adam I can't get to that. Well, I could haunt the woman's vagina if I...

1:12:51 Caller So that the next person to be there is...

1:12:56 Adam That's right. All right.

1:12:58 Check out.

1:13:00 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break and we'll be back after this.

1:13:07 Drew Love line, with Anna Perot and Dr. Drew, we'll be right back before you know it.

1:13:41 Caller It's Loveline.

1:13:42 Adam I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Kilmore, Brandon, Mike are all here from Incubus. We're going to hear something else off of their new CD in just a few minutes. I think we'll take a phone call or two first, though. And we'll speak to Josh. He's 21. Josh?

1:13:59 Caller Yeah.

1:14:00 Caller What's up?

1:14:02 Caller I'd like to say that the man show is pretty bomb.

1:14:06 Adam Thank you.

1:14:07 Caller And my question is, my girlfriend's 37 years old, and when she takes me around her parents, I'm hella uncomfortable around them, because I'm so young.

1:14:16 Drew How old are your parents?

1:14:18 Adam Her parents.

1:14:19 Drew Her parents.

1:14:20 Caller 50.

1:14:20 Drew Oh, her parents. I'm sorry.

1:14:21 Caller She's 37. I'm 21. And our age is the big thing, and I don't know. I was just wondering. I look at all my friends that have young girlfriends and stuff, and I was, I don't know, I'm just oddball.

1:14:34 Incubus I can relate to you. I have an older girlfriend.

1:14:37 Caller Way to make her feel good there, buddy.

1:14:38 Incubus How old?

1:14:39 Caller I can't say I'm a baby's mother.

1:14:41 Incubus Out of respect to her, I can't say. She's not that old.

1:14:43 Caller She's not that much older.

1:14:44 Drew Did your girlfriend recently get divorced?

1:14:47 Caller As a matter of fact, she has.

1:14:49 Drew Yeah, this is a syndrome that we see over and over again.

1:14:52 Adam I'm well aware of this syndrome.

1:14:53 Drew Yeah, where women 38 to sort of 50 get knocked around in a bad marriage, leave it, and then don't look back, go, hey, that's it for men. I'm just looking for a boy toy now, and they find very young guys who are eager to cooperate with them.

1:15:09 Adam Well, there's a few reasons they do this. A, they get that enthusiastic sexual partner because it's been 10 years since the bloom is off the rose, so to speak. The guy's been married for a lot of years. He's settled into a comfortable life.

1:15:22 Caller He's had two marriages actually.

1:15:25 Adam Even better. A, they get the sex robot that the 21-year-old guys are. Number two, like Drew said, they don't have to take the relationship too seriously because they don't want to get married again. They just got out of a bad marriage and you can't marry the guy because you're 21 and she's 37 and it's just not realistic.

1:15:43 Drew It's not even a real relationship. It's just sort of a play thing.

1:15:45 Adam Well, it's possible but probably not in this case.

1:15:50 Caller She's old enough to know her mother.

1:15:52 Adam Yeah. And number three is she's not, she's going to be in charge of this relationship.

1:15:58 Caller I don't know.

1:15:59 Drew No, yes. That's true.

1:16:00 Incubus Are you her boy toy?

1:16:02 Caller I want to be. I mean, I am. You know what I mean? I don't want to have much of it.

1:16:05 Adam Yeah. We can see you're wearing the pants.

1:16:08 Caller I don't even care. It's just I'm having a lot of fun.

1:16:11 Caller Are you from Northern California?

1:16:13 Caller I told her I want to become serious. And then she's like, yeah, well, we'll see. No.

1:16:17 Incubus You're her boy toy.

1:16:18 Adam That's a definite yes. Yeah, we'll see.

1:16:22 Caller But I mean, I live with her.

1:16:24 Adam You live with her?

1:16:25 Caller Yeah.

1:16:25 Adam Well, wait a minute. You live with, you getting kicked out of your folks place is not you living with her.

1:16:30 Caller I didn't get kicked out of my folks place.

1:16:31 Adam Well, they asked you to leave. But seriously, where were you living before you moved in with her?

1:16:35 Caller I barely got out of the Youth Authority.

1:16:38 Drew Youth Authority?

1:16:39 Caller Not that long ago.

1:16:40 Drew All right.

1:16:41 Caller I've been with her for about a year.

1:16:42 Adam Well, I apologize. I was all wrong.

1:16:44 Incubus Are you from Northern California?

1:16:46 Caller I'm from Bakersfield. Right now, I'm in Houston, Texas visiting some family members.

1:16:50 Adam Now, how long have you been with her?

1:16:52 Caller For about a year.

1:16:54 Adam About a year? Wow. He's living with her. He's been out for about a year.

1:16:57 Drew I like that they're living together and he goes, I want to have a relationship. No, no, no. We'll see.

1:17:01 Caller We'll see.

1:17:02 Adam Stay on your side of the couch.

1:17:03 Caller No, it was...

1:17:05 Caller Just don't relate to me, please.

1:17:06 Caller No, it was more like I want to become like more like I want to marry her, really.

1:17:12 Adam Okay. But what's going on with the Youth Authority?

1:17:16 Caller I did some bad things and got locked up for a few years.

1:17:19 Drew Parole violation.

1:17:20 Adam All right. So you're not causing any more trouble, are you?

1:17:23 Caller No.

1:17:24 Adam Okay.

1:17:25 Drew What are you doing?

1:17:25 Caller I already bypassed all those problems and stuff.

1:17:28 Adam You're working?

1:17:29 Caller Yeah.

1:17:30 Adam Good. Where are you working?

1:17:31 Caller For LA County Masonry.

1:17:33 Adam All right. Masonry Supply?

1:17:35 Caller No. Masonry Company, Lane Block.

1:17:37 Adam All right.

1:17:38 Drew Freemasons?

1:17:39 Adam Very good. It's good, honest work. Yeah.

1:17:42 Drew Oh, you like Mason guys.

1:17:43 Adam The Masons are all right. Drywallers are the worst. The Roofers are the worst.

1:17:48 Incubus Or people that work in welders and metals.

1:17:50 Adam Yeah. Welders are the worst. It goes on the crap level of tradesmen. Welder, Roofer, Drywaller, HVAC guy, Tin Knockers, Framers, then Masons. You're way down the list.

1:18:05 Incubus What about pool cleaners? Where do they fit in?

1:18:07 Adam Not an actual trade.

1:18:08 Drew Those are entrepreneurs.

1:18:11 Adam Those are just guys who got a truck for their birthday.

1:18:14 Incubus I'm trying to pick up some extra change.

1:18:17 Adam I remember one time my carpet cleaning boss telling me that the real bucks were in home aquarium cleaning. That's what you should do.

1:18:25 Incubus Home aquarium technician.

1:18:26 Adam You get some accounts, you show up at some houses, you scrub some aquariums. I remember looking at it. He wanted me to either do that or flu cleaning. In restaurants, the chimney sweep, the chimney thing over the fat fryer. That's where the real money is, guys. I may have low self-esteem, but I got plans for the future. I mean, come on, clean aquariums. Marissa.

1:18:53 Yeah, hi.

1:18:53 Adam You're 18.

1:18:54 Caller Yeah. I just wanted to know more about the Las Vegas ranches. How old do you have to be to go there?

1:19:03 Drew Probably 21, I would say.

1:19:04 Caller 21?

1:19:04 Caller Or 18, maybe.

1:19:05 Adam No, it's 18.

1:19:06 Caller 18.

1:19:07 Drew 18 in Vegas?

1:19:08 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:19:09 Drew How about gambling is 21?

1:19:10 Adam Well, no, I think you could go. Here's something. I don't know if those places have their liquor licenses, all of them. I'm guessing most of them do. And the ones that have booze, it's probably 21, but they must have 18 ones because pornography is always 18.

1:19:25 Caller Yeah, and another question is that, do you know if the girls there would do their services for another woman?

1:19:32 Drew If they're getting paid.

1:19:34 Incubus It's a job to them.

1:19:35 Adam They'd probably enjoy it. I mean, they don't have some fat truckers just pulled in who's got a hemorrhoid and an attitude. He's got some nice 18-year-old gal.

1:19:45 Caller So they're not homophobic. They wouldn't be freaked out about it.

1:19:49 Adam Hey, Marissa, let me tell you one of the beauties of being a woman. You don't have to travel for sex.

1:19:55 Incubus Wait, I have an idea. Why don't the guy who called in earlier...

1:19:58 Adam From Chicago?

1:19:59 Incubus And Marissa is it?

1:20:01 Adam Yeah, but she wants a woman. She wants a woman.

1:20:02 Incubus Oh, you want...

1:20:03 Caller Yeah, I'm a lesbian.

1:20:05 Adam Yeah, could you imagine a woman from Chicago going like, Yeah, I'm pretty shy. It's not working out here in Chicago, so I gotta get out to Nevada, see if I can score. You know what I mean? Here's how far women have to travel. The front door. Sparkless guy will nail them. The UPS guy will get a piece. Yeah, whoever's at the door will get them. You have to try the length of your living room. You can get late. You don't have to do that. Sit on the sofa and just pick up the phone. Someone will come over and have sex with you. Yeah, lean out the window. A truck will stop.

1:20:35 Caller It's really interesting, though, that you could go into whatever you want to call it and pay money and have sex with somebody, if you're probably 18 years old. You have to be 21 to sit at a table and play cards and throw down a couple bucks.

1:20:51 Adam You could lose 40 bucks. Hey, wait a minute. I want to ask him.

1:20:55 Drew By the way, speaking of gambling, remember Pat O'Brien's thing that sportsbook.com he was doing? It's a casino. A sportsbook.

1:21:04 Adam Listen, I was at Pat O'Brien's house for Christmas party a couple months ago or whatever the hell Christmas was. He's got some overhead over there, man. I wanted to kill his kid. I want to kill Pat O'Brien's kid.

1:21:19 Drew Because he's got so much stuff.

1:21:21 Adam Pat O'Brien from what else is he on?

1:21:23 Drew Access Hollywood.

1:21:24 Adam Access Hollywood. Great guy, Pat O'Brien, by the way. He lives in a house just like out of a movie, man. I can't even see the ceiling. You're lying on your back. It's up there. I swear it's up there because rain isn't getting in. But it just keeps going. It's a mirror. Now, I'd see myself though. Who's that dork? Oh, wait a minute. Who's that dork laying on his back? He has electric guitars. His house is like a Hard Rock Cafe with a go-kart in it.

1:21:50 Incubus Was that like Ozzie's house?

1:21:52 Adam Did you go to Ozzie's house?

1:21:53 Incubus I just went to Ozzie's house. He was big, huh?

1:21:56 Adam Where's Ozzie's house? Out here?

1:21:58 Incubus It's in California.

1:22:01 Caller It's in California.

1:22:03 Adam Ozzie, not Ozzie Newsome, the ex-tied in for the old Cleveland Browns. We're talking about Ozzie Osborne, the baseball player. No, we're talking about Ozzie Osborne. What were you doing at Ozzie's house?

1:22:13 Caller Just hanging out.

1:22:15 Incubus Tea and crumpets.

1:22:16 Caller Having tea with the family.

1:22:18 Adam Don't be so coy. What do you mean? Just hanging at Ozzie's?

1:22:21 Incubus Mike told me that the house was so huge that he felt small. Hello.

1:22:25 Caller Well, I feel small anyway.

1:22:26 Adam So you just swung by Ozzie's place and said hi and?

1:22:30 Caller Yeah. Took a couple of his kids to a concert with actually one of the guys from System of a Down, John. Hi, John.

1:22:37 Drew John's the guy that got you the taboo.

1:22:38 Adam John got me the porn.

1:22:41 Caller He fits into this whole equation.

1:22:42 Adam You guys want to be my favorite band? You just give me two porns and you're in.

1:22:45 Incubus Really? Which ones?

1:22:46 Adam Well, I go with taboo one and taboo three, because I got to taboo two and I want to complete the trilogy.

1:22:51 Incubus There's this great store in Santa Monica and it's like the old school porn.

1:22:55 Adam That's what I want. My friend had an idea. The old school porn network.

1:23:01 Incubus Porn on music.com.

1:23:03 Adam No, just old vintage porn, the vintage porn channel.

1:23:06 Incubus Yeah. There's a store. They have all the vintage porn. It's crazy.

1:23:10 Caller We actually started our band because we wanted to emulate the music that was not one on a new album.

1:23:17 Adam Let's hear just a little bit of that Taboo 2. No, no. Come on. Give me so much. No. Come on. Give me the Taboo 2 theme. Because I really, I'd like you guys to cover this next time you go in the studio. Anderson, do I, I'll throw the guy...

1:23:33 Caller What do I gotta do, argue with him? When I tell you to do something, do it. Alright.

1:23:41 Incubus Did they write this just for the taboo?

1:23:44 Adam Yeah, I'm guessing, yeah.

1:23:47 Incubus You're feeling it.

1:24:04 Adam That's a good line here. Listen to this.

1:24:07 Caller Maybe you did, but you don't.

1:24:12 Adam You don't know Junior. He's screwing his mom and his sister.

1:24:15 Caller When he said, maybe you did, but you don't, is that true?

1:24:20 Adam Oh yeah, he shows it all.

1:24:23 Incubus Remember that? Did the director's girlfriend write that?

1:24:31 Adam You think you could do something with this in the studio?

1:24:33 Incubus I'd love to.

1:24:34 Caller Fat Facts, tonight's a good one in two, if you only knew.

1:24:45 Adam Thank you. Next time you go in studio, I'm just saying.

1:24:49 Incubus I'm totally down for it. I think it sounds nice. We could put a little bit more of a funk thing on it, a little more swingy upbeat.

1:24:56 Adam Here's what you'd want to do. I'm no musician. I don't want to tell you your business. But what you'd want to do is you'd want to give it a more contemporary feel without losing the old flavor. Well, we get the gravy. It's called the gravy. People should know what song it is. When people hear it on the radio, oh, Tabuhtuba, wait a minute, it's a little different.

1:25:15 Incubus Right.

1:25:16 Adam Right, Drew?

1:25:17 Drew A little different.

1:25:17 Incubus We could get the old school flavor with DJ Kilmore and his scratch attacks and the old static from the records and stuff like that to make it have that old school appeal. Just like that.

1:25:27 Adam Right.

1:25:27 Caller I had all the gravy.

1:25:28 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break and then we're going to come back and hear an Incubus song after this.

1:25:36 Caller Let's have some more fun. Okay.

1:25:39 Caller Let's do it.

1:25:40 Caller Call Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:25:44 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:26:17 Adam Let's see if it's the love and the loveline. I'm Adam Lakers, Drew Incubus is our guest tonight. We are gonna play this Incubus song, by the way. All right, so a real fast call and then we'll play. So, anyway, it was real fast. Dave?

1:26:34 Caller Yeah, hey.

1:26:35 Adam You're 17?

1:26:36 Caller Yeah, actually, I'm 17.

1:26:37 Adam Yeah.

1:26:37 Caller I just wanted to say hey to the band.

1:26:39 Caller What's up, man? What's up?

1:26:40 Caller So, my sister actually knows you guys, Collette.

1:26:42 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:26:43 Caller Hi, Collette.

1:26:44 Caller So, I actually had a question for all you guys. What's that? My dad had, like, an affair with his, like, secretary. And he brought his girlfriend to, like, some of the school, like, family functions. And, like, and he still wants to talk and stuff.

1:26:57 Caller The secretary is the girlfriend?

1:26:59 Caller What?

1:26:59 Caller The secretary is the girlfriend?

1:27:00 Adam Yes.

1:27:00 Caller He brings his girlfriend to, like, the family, couple of family functions.

1:27:02 Adam He doesn't know what you're talking about.

1:27:03 Caller He still wants to talk about what?

1:27:04 Adam That's the secretary, right, Doof Ball?

1:27:06 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:27:07 Adam Okay. And they, is your mom and, is your mom and he broken up now?

1:27:15 Caller Yeah.

1:27:15 Adam Okay, so, yeah.

1:27:17 Caller Sorry, and he, like, you know, he wants to do stuff, and then he, like, he likes lies, and then he says he's telling the truth, and, like, I don't know if I should, like, maybe keep my distance for a while and see what's up or what.

1:27:26 Drew Yeah, I think create consequences for his disturbing behaviors.

1:27:30 Adam Well, mom and him are divorced, right?

1:27:33 Caller Well, almost. They're in the process of it.

1:27:34 Drew But he wants to be part of Dave's life.

1:27:35 Adam Right, but they're broken up. He has a new girlfriend.

1:27:39 Caller Well, sort of. He's not sure. He tells us he's with her and sometimes tells us he's not.

1:27:42 Drew He's just being a real jackass.

1:27:43 Adam Well, I mean, listen. I mean, the guy may be confused. They were married for, you know, 20 years. They're broken up. He's dating, you know, somebody. It's not that big a deal. I mean, it's not. I wouldn't take it as a huge threat if he shows up at your soccer game with her.

1:28:01 Caller No, like it was a family, like family, quote unquote, family function.

1:28:03 Adam Well, what was it?

1:28:05 Caller It was like just a business thing that was supposed to be for a family.

1:28:07 Incubus Is she cool?

1:28:08 Caller No, she's a bitch.

1:28:09 Incubus Really?

1:28:09 Caller Is she the reason why?

1:28:11 Caller Well, yeah, and she slashes tires and she lost her kids and stuff, too, so.

1:28:15 Adam All right. It was a business thing that was supposed to be for family?

1:28:18 Caller I mean, it's hard to explain, but...

1:28:19 Adam Okay. Herbal life meeting? No. Okay. Hey, Dave, you don't have to like her. That's fine. But on the other hand, don't freak yourself out. That's his business. Who are you living with? My mom. Okay. So you live with your mom. I know you're pissed off at your dad. You'll get drunk and hit him later. Okay.

1:28:37 Caller I almost did, but yeah.

1:28:38 Adam Okay. Just listen, now, Dave. Yeah. Get your grades up, take some SATs and go off to college somewhere, would you? All right. That is really the greatest. We should really just have a listener exchange program where our listeners from the East Coast come out and stay with screwed up families from the West Coast and they send their crappy kids. That way everyone, because it takes a couple of years to really ruin people. They're like sour parents on you and stuff. And a lot of these people are like 16, 17. And if they got a fresh start, they could milk it for a couple of years before they got pissed off and kicked out of the house. The problem is where they are, they're at the end of the rope with the parents because the parents have had enough of them. They've been living with them for 16 years.

1:29:17 Caller And also you get to a certain age where you start realizing that your parents are probably just as stupid as you are.

1:29:23 Adam Yeah, they're people and they make mistakes.

1:29:25 Caller My parents are smart. Sorry mom, sorry dad.

1:29:27 Adam It is true. The band does have smart parents. They're not disappointed that you guys started a band.

1:29:33 Incubus No, they've been great.

1:29:34 Adam Alright, let's play a song. Yeah, we're going to play a song. Relax.

1:29:39 Incubus I'm a pro.

1:29:40 Adam I've been doing this show for you.

1:29:41 Caller Will you play the song please?

1:29:43 Adam Yes, here it is.

1:29:43 Caller Why do you have a cool Crown Royal microphone?

1:29:46 Adam You want the song played or do we tell the Crown Royal story? This one is called Stellar.

1:33:06 Caller Huh?

1:33:08 Caller What? We get applause every time.

1:33:10 Adam Yeah, they're very popular.

1:33:15 Incubus Co-Cococalia? The state of being ugly but sexy.

1:33:19 Caller That guy is very coccocolic. I'm a coccocoliac.

1:33:22 Adam I think rich guys have that. That is Incubus, by the way, off of Make Yourself, which, and they are now... Go buy it, please... .is now quoting from a book that was... I don't know if it was sent to me or Lisa got it and just dropped it off here. I never get to the bottom of that. Larry sent it. Larry.

1:33:42 Drew Book of the Praved English. There's a letter. What was the letter in there?

1:33:45 Adam Why don't you read it? Do we know Larry?

1:33:47 Drew To Adam Corolla. Thanks for all the laughs.

1:33:49 Adam Let me say something. Lisa is on number three with the first name thing tonight. I don't know if you've noticed that, Drew. She's like, Cheryl wants to know what you're doing this weekend. Cheryl? Cheryl wants to know what you're doing this weekend?

1:34:01 Incubus Oh, the It's Me thing.

1:34:03 Adam Cheryl, Jeremy McGrath's manager wants to know if I'm going to the Super Bowl. That I don't know is Cheryl wants to know what I'm doing this weekend. Doesn't mean that you want to go to the Super Bowl of Motocross. Larry sent it. Doesn't mean anything to me. There's one more good one tonight, Drew. Anderson. Anderson wants to know why I hate him, by the way. Anderson says to me every three weeks, why do you hate me, man? This is why. This is why. God damn, son. I never ever asked that out there. You said that the other day. Come on. All right. What are we doing?

1:34:36 Drew Going to break.

1:34:36 Adam We're going to break. Drew, what was that other name? We got to figure this out.

1:34:40 Drew Of what? During the break.

1:34:41 Adam Oh, stop.

1:34:43 Drew During the break.

1:34:44 Adam Please, Drew, reading the book. Drew, come on now. Listen to me. Oh, please. I'm talking to you. I'm trying to do a radio show.

1:34:53 Caller Security, please.

1:34:54 Drew Exactly.

1:34:55 Adam Drew, seriously.

1:34:56 Drew Seriously.

1:34:57 Adam You're reading a book. I'm asking-

1:34:59 Drew We're going to break.

1:35:00 Adam I'm asking you what we're doing. I'm asking you a bunch of questions. What about the Crown Royal story? You're not listening at all.

1:35:05 Drew We're going to break.

1:35:06 Adam You know what I'm saying, Drew?

1:35:08 Drew We're going to break. Hey, come on.

1:35:09 Adam Don't be a prick. You know what I'm saying?

1:35:11 Drew I don't know what you're saying.

1:35:12 Adam Why don't you? What are you reading a book for?

1:35:15 Drew Because we were going to break.

1:35:17 Adam I was reading.

1:35:18 Caller We got ourselves a reader.

1:35:20 Drew I read a letter out of the book to you.

1:35:23 Adam What you're reading for. It's all based on we're doing a break with you.

1:35:28 Caller We'll be right back.

1:35:29 Adam We'll be on break when we're on break.

1:35:31 Caller We'll be right back.

1:35:32 Caller We'll be right back.

1:35:39 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:36:11 Adam There you go. That is, that is. She got it. I figured out what it was. You're Stalker. What the hell?

1:36:19 Incubus You have a Stalker?

1:36:21 Adam Yeah. I can't think of her name. Well, we won't say her name over the air, but that was the other one. Okay. Yes. The trilogy is completed. Thank you, Lisa. All right. Incubus. Everyone, buy the CD. Yeah.

1:36:33 Incubus Yes.

1:36:35 Adam I command you, everyone within the sound of my voice, and even those who can't hear me, to buy that Incubus CD. All right, guys. Thanks a lot for coming in.

1:36:42 Incubus Thank you very much.

1:36:43 Adam Sorry you had to experience Drew's a little outburst there at the end of the show, but I hope you don't leave it a bad taste in your mouth.

1:36:50 Caller I'd actually like to come back when, you know, Raylene and...

1:36:54 Adam Oh, and the porn stars...

1:36:54 Caller .Devin and Chandler.

1:36:55 Adam Well, come on by tomorrow night. You will see them. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. All right. No oral sex for you tonight. Well, now.

Episode Feedback

Wednesday, January 12, 2000