Episode 1000754887849

1:29 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:37 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:40 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:42 Voiceover Loveline.

1:43 Adam Hey there, kiddies out in Radio Land. I'm Adam Corolla. That is my good partner, Dr. Drew. Phone number for Loveline. 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number. Oh, yes. There may be a lightening round.

1:57 Drew Pretty slick, pretty slick, Ace.

1:58 Adam Maybe a lightening round, Drew?

2:02 Drew Yeah.

2:02 Adam I smell a storm blowing in. Yeah.

2:06 Drew Are you high or something? What's up with you?

2:08 Adam No, I farted. We'll do a lightening round at the end of tonight's show because it's kid tested and mother approved, right, Doc?

2:17 Drew Are you all right?

2:18 Adam Yeah, I'm good. I was out shooting all day. And as usual, I just ran in here. So I was actually in the bathroom washing my makeup off and getting out of my waiter's outfit because, you know, that's comedy, the waiter's outfit. And I heard the opening theme. So I ran in here with my pants around my ankles and my shoes.

2:43 Drew A little souffle humor.

2:47 Adam Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Matthew McConaughey, the big time actor, is going to be in here on Sunday. Frank Stallone, whose brother's a big time actor, will be in here. No, Frank is, actually Frank's scored a few of those movies. He did a few of those hits like from Staying Alive, Part 2, and Goo Goo Dolls, Save Ferris. Oh, it's a big week next week. Drew?

3:16 Drew Yeah?

3:16 Adam Where are you, buddy?

3:18 Drew I'm in Denver.

3:19 Adam Uh huh. How's it over there?

3:20 Drew Beautiful.

3:21 Adam How was the 14-hour ride from the airport into the city?

3:27 Drew Were you with me?

3:28 Adam I was with you the last time we did it.

3:31 Drew No, I went out to Colorado State, which is 14 hours from Denver.

3:35 Adam Fantastic. And again, what happened? Somebody dropped a nickel?

3:39 Drew No, it was good. It was about 3,000 kids, and it was very interesting, very fun.

3:43 Adam Wow. They must have thought I was coming.

3:45 Drew No, they didn't.

3:45 Adam All right.

3:46 Drew They had no illusions about that, as a matter of fact.

3:49 Adam They were sorely disappointed, I'm sure. All right. So you ready to hop on the phones?

3:53 Drew Let's go talk to Robert. He's 15.

3:55 Adam Robert. Now, Drew, do you have your computer set up over there?

3:58 Drew No. Wait, wait, wait. This radio studio is decked. I mean, it makes Westwood 1 look pathetic. They don't have a phone jack.

4:07 Adam Listen, a mothballed sub from World War II makes Westwood 1 look pathetic. Are you kidding me?

4:13 Drew Shut up! This looks like NASA.

4:15 Adam OK. All right. You ready?

4:17 Drew Yeah.

4:17 Adam Robert.

4:18 Caller Yes.

4:19 Adam What's up?

4:20 Caller Hey, whenever I masturbate, I can't come.

4:24 Drew All right.

4:24 Adam You're only 15.

4:25 Caller Yes.

4:26 Adam You should call us back in about a year, year and a half.

4:29 Drew Is there any time when you are able to ejaculate?

4:31 Caller Well, whenever I have sex, I ejaculate, but I can't do it whenever I masturbate.

4:38 Adam You're too much man. What time? How many times you had sex with a woman?

4:42 Caller Eight.

4:44 Adam Hey, Drew, do you remember those days when you knew the exact number? You know what I mean? Not the amount of women you were with, the number of times you'd had sex.

4:54 Drew Yes.

4:55 Adam You had sex eight times?

4:56 Caller Yeah.

4:57 Drew Because he satellite that, that's the only reason I believe him.

4:59 Adam How many different women?

5:00 Caller One.

5:01 Adam One. Okay. So eight times with the same unlucky soul. And you've had an orgasm each and every time with her. Because you can't seem to do it on your own. No. Yeah. Well.

5:14 Drew How long?

5:15 Adam Yes. I was going to say sex is good. It's just not the real thing. I mean, we're going to have to work on this.

5:20 Drew How long does it take you with a woman, with your friend? A woman. Just 15.

5:25 Caller Probably about like 15 minutes.

5:27 Adam 15 minutes? 20 minutes.

5:29 All right.

5:31 Adam Robert, I wouldn't worry about it. I just keep pecking away. Pardon the pun. I don't think this is a real problem. It's an interesting problem, but yet still not a real problem. What do you think, Drew?

5:44 Drew I agree. The problem is that he sort of engaged in high level sexual activity before he's really ready.

5:51 Adam Put a condom on. Yeah. Alyssa?

5:53 Yeah.

5:54 Adam You're 21.

5:55 Caller Yeah.

5:55 Adam What's up?

5:57 Caller I have a 10 month old son and I have Tourette's Syndrome. I was wondering, is that genetic? What are the chances of him?

6:07 Drew I believe that obsessive compulsive disorders, of which Tourette's is one, can have a familial kind of predisposition associated with it, but it's not necessarily the case.

6:16 Caller It's not necessarily the case.

6:17 Drew Not necessarily.

6:18 Caller Okay, because no one.

6:19 Drew Did you hear what I said? Did you hear what I said?

6:21 Caller Yeah.

6:22 Drew That there is a genetic tendency amongst the obsessive compulsive disorders.

6:26 Adam How does your, yes, how does your Tourette's manifest itself?

6:30 Caller Well, I grew out of it, basically. I have always had a really mild case. It was never really, I never went off swearing. Right.

6:38 Drew You just said tics or twitches, that sort of thing.

6:40 Caller Right. And then I kind of grew out of it more after, you know, puberty and I'm not on medication anymore.

6:46 Drew Great.

6:47 Caller So, you know, it's basically if I, if one of my moods are extreme, if I'm really upset or overly excited or something, but I was just wondering what were the chances? I heard that with boys, like if I were to have a daughter, it would be less of a chance.

7:03 Drew That's true. That is true.

7:04 Lick my butt.

7:06 Adam Right.

7:06 Drew What?

7:07 Adam Hey, Drew, is that true?

7:09 Drew Yeah. It's a little more common in males.

7:11 Adam Why is that?

7:12 Drew I don't know.

7:13 Adam Testosterone?

7:14 Drew I don't know. Different genetic makeup.

7:16 Adam It's funny because I'd accept it more in a woman. You know, ticking and cursing and all, what not.

7:25 Drew At certain points in your life, you'd accept anything from a woman.

7:27 Adam That's right. That's right. Toothless, legless.

7:31 Drew I'm really just thinking that you probably couldn't have Tourette's because you have to be, you have to have affect, you have to be excitable. It could happen.

7:39 Adam Well, I think if I had Tourette's, it would manifest itself by me rolling over in the middle of a nap, let's say. That would be considered a outburst, a tantrum for me. All right. Yes, Drew, it's true. I lost my will to live. Who do you want to speak to?

7:55 Drew Gina. Gina's 20.

7:57 Adam All right. You don't know what line Gina's on?

8:00 Drew She's on two. Oh, yes.

8:01 Adam There she is.

8:02 Drew You can read a little bit, can't you?

8:05 Adam I'm not a good reader.

8:05 Drew G-I-N-A. Gina.

8:08 Adam I prefer not to, Drew. You guys got it.

8:10 Drew Hey, I'm talking to the guys here in Denver. You have to find me a phone line. This isn't going to work.

8:15 Adam Drew, you know that I believe that reading poisons the soul, don't you?

8:20 Drew Yeah, you certainly live by that credo.

8:23 Adam Gina?

8:24 Yes, actually, it's Gina with an E, Drew.

8:27 Adam All right. Who cares? You idiots with all your different spellings.

8:32 It was a nice day, wasn't it?

8:34 Adam Yes, it was beautiful. What do you want?

8:36 What I want to know basically is a question for Drew. I am 20 and I'm thinking about different forms of birth control right now. I'm on depot, but I was talking to a couple of friends of mine and who have taken it before and they told me it wasn't that good of a birth control to be on because the whole time that all of them were on it, they did not have a period and once they got off of it.

8:59 Drew It takes a while to come back.

9:00 It was a period from hell and I've talked to-

9:04 Drew Well, it's a little different. You actually start with the period from hell, then you get no period and then it takes a while for it to start coming back.

9:11 And like I told the lady, I smoke. So I was told also by the ladies at Plan Parenthood here that birth control pills were not something that I should take.

9:23 Drew Well, it's at higher risk if you're a smoker. The real risks start to accumulate in women over 30 who smoke.

9:29 Adam Alright, she's 20. Take the pills and keep the smoking up and we'll talk in 10 years.

9:35 Drew In terms of optimizing your health, how about stopping smoking?

9:38 Adam There you go. And what about the hundreds you kill each year with your second hand smoke?

9:43 Drew Hundreds?

9:44 Adam Thousands. I'm sorry, Drew, I forgot. And I know I revisit this each and every night, but really I have not heard a peep about second hand smoke in two years now. I've not heard one word, not one PSA, not any news item, no articles in the paper, nothing. What happened to the second hand smoke? I guess everybody's dead. They all died and dead men tell no tales. Lindsay?

10:11 Yeah.

10:11 Adam You're 17. What's up?

10:13 Caller Oh my gosh, I finally got through.

10:14 Thank you, Andrew.

10:15 You're the best.

10:17 Adam Yeah.

10:18 Hello?

10:18 Adam What did she say?

10:20 Drew Joe, you're the best.

10:21 Caller Adam, my man, I'm sorry. I'm so nervous right now.

10:26 Adam You sound like she said Andrew, but anyway.

10:28 Caller I said Andrew. I'm a little nervous.

10:30 Adam Go ahead, Lindsay.

10:32 Caller I was asking, I have these, I haven't gained a lot of weight, but I get about five pounds in the past couple of months.

10:38 Adam Oh, you pig.

10:40 Caller I only weigh about 110 and I'm 17, but I just cut these weird veiny looks on my chest, and I don't know if it's stretch marks or if it's just jeans, like if it will go away or not.

10:52 Adam How big is your chest?

10:54 Caller About 34 B.

10:55 Adam Nice. Well, that's all right.

10:59 Drew Drew? Why am I a little confused by what she was asking?

11:01 Adam I think she's talking about stretch marks.

11:03 Caller Are you talking about stretch marks or if they're just because they're veins, that they look like they're really gross, like veiny looks on my boobs and it's sick.

11:10 Drew Are they veins or are they sort of little tears in the superficial portion of the skin?

11:14 Caller They're not really tears, like skin looking. They're like veins.

11:17 You know what I mean? They're all veins.

11:19 Drew Veins can come to the surface, sort of near your armpit.

11:21 Caller Well, kind of, like in that area and around my nipple.

11:26 Drew Yeah, it's probably veins.

11:27 Adam I don't mind the veins on the boobs. I really don't.

11:31 Drew It lets you know you're not with those blow up dolls anymore.

11:35 Adam No, I'm still with them, Drew, but it...

11:37 Drew But you can tell the difference.

11:38 Adam On that particular evening, on that given night? Yes, you're exactly right, Drew. All right, so there's really not much she's going to do about this, is there?

11:48 Drew No, no, no, no. There actually are treatments. They can inject sort of at least sclerosing agents into veins. They can use electricity to cauterize them.

11:56 Adam Right, but she's 17.

11:58 Drew Yeah.

11:58 Adam And are those the kind of veins you can take care of? You know what I mean? I mean, you get those spider veins or those varicose veins, but the veins, and I've seen veins on brass before, at least I've seen pictures of them. It seems to me that those seem to be a little further under the skin. You know what I'm talking about?

12:17 Drew Yeah, there's both though. There's both. I know what you're talking about, but there's both.

12:19 Adam Well, let me ask you this. Don't you kind of need veins?

12:23 Drew Yeah.

12:24 Adam I mean, I failed biology thanks to that Mr. Dilla Birdie from high school, who everyone knew was wearing a toupee, by the way.

12:31 Drew Go ahead. Tell him to kiss your ass.

12:33 Adam Kiss my ass. Kiss my ass.

12:36 Drew Yeah. Yeah, but I'm really talking about the spider veins, which are the tiny little spider-web-like veins really, that are in the superficial areas of the skin. They tend to accumulate around the armpits.

12:47 Adam But you've seen veins on breasts before, right?

12:49 Drew Yes.

12:50 Adam And those don't seem like the kind you could do away with, with a wood-burning kit. You know what I mean?

12:57 Drew Yeah, I know what you're talking about, and I'm just saying there are both kinds there. You're not going to let this one go, are you?

13:01 Adam No, I'm not.

13:02 Drew Does it disappoint you on the way?

13:03 Adam No, because she's 17 years old, and I think I know what she's talking about.

13:07 Drew Yeah.

13:07 Adam Rebecca, the boobs are my department.

13:11 Drew I know, I know.

13:12 Adam Thank you.

13:12 Drew You need to talk about it for a while, and then you're okay.

13:14 Adam Oh my God, I had a great, I had a great bra discussion with two women today. I swear to God, my penis almost came out of my pants. It was just how I'd scripted it in my mind, and went over it many, many, many times. Who was it? I was talking to one of the Chuggy Dan Squad.

13:33 Drew Oh my God.

13:34 Adam And this beautiful wardrobe girl we have. And they were both, they're both sort of petite gals with large breasts. And they're both getting into this discussion. And it basically went something like, well, I can wear a 32 bra, but if I wear a 32, I got to get a double D. Now, if I go to a 34, it's just a D. And the other one was talking about, oh yes, I know, because my breasts are large and they're natural. And so if I wear a bra that's too tight, well, they'll come spilling over the top. And I was just sort of standing in between the two of them and having this round table on how small my back is compared to how large my bust is and how my big heaving natural bosom comes slopping over the top of my bra. And it was all I could do not to reach for my junk. And all of a sudden I was back in high school or scratch that, junior high. And I just felt like saying, listen, could I just look, could you just show me for a minute? I promise I won't tell anybody.

14:39 Drew Did you alert them to the fact that you were in the room and listening? I mean, you were right there.

14:42 Adam No, we were having the conversation.

14:45 Drew Did they know what that was doing to you?

14:46 Adam I became- Come on. No, they were having a real conversation about it. And I was sort of, you know, I was like Dick Cavett in between them sort of mediating.

14:57 Drew Did you run out of the room and scream for your writing staff and Jimmy?

15:00 Adam No, I just stood there and I thought to myself, let's keep it going. We got to keep it going. You know how guys do that? Like guys will go to a party and there'll be some really hot looking chick and they'll belly up to her and they'll talk for just a beat. And then there'll be that little pause, that little lull and the guy will immediately try to get something going again.

15:21 Drew Yes.

15:22 Adam You remember when you were trying to meet women, Drew? Remember? Can you think back to the 40s?

15:26 Drew Long time ago. Was it the 40s even?

15:29 Adam No, but you know what I'm talking about?

15:30 Drew Yeah, Taft was president. You're right. Yeah, no, absolutely. You're trying to sort of not lose the game.

15:37 Adam Right.

15:37 Drew You know what I mean? The game isn't over.

15:40 Adam The last thing you want is to hop to a different topic or for them to be a long enough pause where people say, well, I'm going to grab lunch or I'll meet you at the bar or I'll see you later. Your idea is to keep the filler going. The way you keep the filler going is you just keep asking inane questions. When did you get your first bra? How much is a bra away? What's one of those babies set you back? Does it snap in the front or in the back? Hey, is your dad a tall man? You look like you have some Swedish blood in you. Is that true? I mean, I just kept talking. I couldn't stop talking. It was great. Oh my God, Drew, can you believe that conversation with me?

16:22 Drew No, they don't know. They don't know what it did. See, that's what I can't understand.

16:27 Adam They don't know that it was like a couple of cops talking about a big score of heroin to a junkie. And they didn't, you know, the cops didn't know there was a junkie standing there. You know what I'm saying? So there's, oh yeah, this is pure Peruvian flake, man. Five kilos of it, tons of it, man. And stuff was busting open and blowing in the wind. We had to use a shop vac to get it up. And I was like, I was having the DTs, you know. I went into shakes and a cold sweat. Oh, it was great. Rebecca, you're 21.

17:01 Guest Yes, I am.

17:02 Adam You're never too old for a good bra conversation.

17:05 Guest For a bra conversation?

17:06 Adam Yeah.

17:07 Guest Yeah, never. Anyhow.

17:10 Adam Thank you.

17:11 Guest What are you going to ask me? First off.

17:14 Adam All right, well hold on a second. I immediately don't like her. Let's put her on hold for one second. Nathan?

17:21 Yes.

17:21 Adam You're 15?

17:22 Caller Yes.

17:22 Adam What's up?

17:24 Caller I had sex with my stepsister and she came up pregnant and I want to know if I'm the father and I don't want to go about I don't know how to go about to do that.

17:34 Adam Well is there another guy who you think may be a candidate for fatherhood?

17:39 Caller It might be her boyfriend.

17:40 Adam It might be her boyfriend.

17:41 Drew Why don't you just let it be her boyfriend?

17:43 Adam Well, there's only one way to really settle this. You have to have the child and then you both get on one end of the corral, you put the child in the middle, you both call for it. Whichever man it goes for, that's whose child it is. Right, Drew? Settle it like the Old West.

17:58 Caller There's no way to do it before the baby's born?

18:00 Drew Not that I'm aware of.

18:02 Adam How many times did you have sex with your step-sister?

18:05 Caller Four or five.

18:06 Adam Four or five. And how long have you known her, by the way?

18:10 Drew Yeah, absolutely.

18:11 Caller Three years.

18:12 Adam Three years. And how old is she?

18:14 Caller She's 17.

18:15 Adam 17. And is she a little chaotic? Is she a little screwed up?

18:21 Caller Not really.

18:21 Adam Really? She's just banging around with her step-brother and her boyfriend simultaneously without protection?

18:27 Caller Yeah.

18:28 Adam Okay. Well, she'll make a hell of a mother and a hell of a wife, I'm sure. And is she planning on keeping the child and raising the child?

18:39 Caller I don't know.

18:40 Adam You don't know. You don't sweat the details.

18:42 Drew How long into the pregnancy is she?

18:45 Caller She's about two months.

18:46 Adam About two months. So you guys have just shifted to oral sex now, or are you still with the intercourse?

18:51 Caller I've quit totally.

18:52 Adam Oh, you have? All right. And you're not interested in knowing whether she's going to have an abortion or give the child up for adoption?

19:00 Caller Well, if it's mine, I want to have an abortion. But if it's her boyfriend's, I guess they can keep it.

19:05 Adam Yeah.

19:05 Drew Well, given that you can't tell at this point.

19:08 Adam And Drew, when are they going to figure that out?

19:11 Drew There probably are ways to do it.

19:12 Adam Don't we have the science for that?

19:14 Drew There probably are ways. I'm just not familiar with it. But I bet it's incredibly expensive.

19:19 Adam Well, he sounds like a man of means. I mean, any guy who's banging his stepdaughter. Close your eyes, Drew.

19:26 Oh, God.

19:28 Drew I'm sorry, step-sister.

19:29 Adam Yes, but I'm just saying close your eyes for a second. Picture for that house is looking like.

19:34 Drew Oh, God.

19:35 Adam I'm going to see if I can draw a picture. High rust-colored shag, which has been matted over, like a long grease trail running down the middle of it, like from the kitchen at Tony Roma's into the dining room.

19:49 Drew Did you say house?

19:51 Adam I'm using that in a sort of a loose term, like dog house, bird house, the big house. You know, they put a house at the end of things. You know what I mean? Doesn't necessarily mean it's not necessarily a home.

20:06 Drew In the house.

20:06 Adam I'm picturing one of those good 70s sofas where the side arm takes up the entire sofa. You remember that? When that was all the rage? It looked like some sort of huge jelly roll or something was on. Each arm was so padded that a nine foot sofa only had room for one thin person in the middle. Who decided that the arms should be like four sofas themselves?

20:32 Drew Please, whatever was decided in the 70s, whatever was going on there.

20:35 Adam But Drew, do you remember that look? In people, like at a party, you'd have people sitting on the arms of the sofa, but the sofa itself had about 14 inches in the center of usable ass space, and the rest was just all arm. All padded arm and back. All right, what else? Maybe something made of wicker, rattan. In the bathroom, I'm going with the adhesive back, one by one squares of mirrored glass with the gold veins running through them.

21:13 Drew Yep, that's it. That's sort of an antique vein.

21:16 Adam Yeah, yeah. Spiny gold veins. Rebecca?

21:20 Guest Yeah.

21:20 Adam All right, we're back with you now. What's your question?

21:23 Guest Well, basically, I'm having a really hard time trusting people, even when I'm in public, when I meet people.

21:35 Drew Why do you think that is?

21:36 Guest It's just recently. I don't know, but I've gone through a lot in the past three or four months, and it's to the point where someone that's really close to me will say something and immediately the first thoughts that come to my mind are, you know, they're lying or they have different motives or-

21:56 Drew So you're paranoid.

21:58 Guest Yeah, I guess I am.

22:00 Adam What do you do for a living?

22:03 Guest Well, I am a stripper.

22:06 Adam A stripper?

22:06 Guest Yeah.

22:07 Adam And you're not a furniture, but you actually take your clothes off, right?

22:12 Guest Correct.

22:13 Adam Fully nude or just hopless?

22:15 Guest Fully nude.

22:15 Adam Uh-oh. And it says up on the screen here that you're retired from being a hooker.

22:20 Guest Correct.

22:21 Adam How'd that work?

22:23 Guest Well, I have gotten into stripping and sometimes the business just works into where you get curious about it and I decided to just, you never know if you can do it until you try.

22:34 Adam Yeah.

22:35 Guest So it wasn't for me, but.

22:37 Adam Yeah. I don't think it's for me, but I can close my eyes and figure out that if someone gave me 50 bucks, I could probably bang them without actually doing it. I mean, just on a purely hypothetical level, you know what I mean? I think I could do it.

22:49 Guest You're cheap, but you know.

22:51 Adam Oh, 50?

22:51 Guest Yeah, 50 is cheap.

22:52 Adam Yeah, you haven't seen me naked though. I got a pretty hairy ass.

22:56 Drew You get the point he's making.

22:57 Adam I try to go for 75, they're going to want something back.

23:00 Drew Rebecca, you understand what he's saying?

23:02 Guest Yes, I do.

23:03 Adam Yeah, I don't understand. It's not like running a marathon or climbing a mountain. I mean, you don't need to...

23:09 Drew But then, Adam, you weren't sexually abused, I don't think, when you were growing up.

23:13 Adam Sprinkling a sexual abuse shirt, Drew, but not more than anyone else.

23:16 Guest Well, prior to that, I was really close to the people I was living with, and someone crossed their boundaries with me, basically my boyfriend's brother-in-law sexually molested me. When you, digitally raped me.

23:35 Adam When you were how old?

23:36 Guest When I was how old? Twenty.

23:38 Adam Twenty?

23:38 Guest This was just this New Year's Eve.

23:40 Adam Oh, I see. Well, Rebecca?

23:42 Guest Yeah.

23:42 Adam I'm curious about the prostitution thing, where you weren't a streetwalker, right?

23:47 Guest No, I worked in the legal brothel.

23:50 Adam Oh, in Pahrump?

23:52 Caller In Pahrump?

23:53 Guest Somewhere in this great country of ours.

23:57 Adam What state?

23:58 Guest Nevada.

23:59 Adam Yeah, what city?

24:01 Guest Carson City.

24:02 Adam Oh, all right. Where's Pahrump?

24:05 Guest Pahrump.

24:06 Adam Yeah, where is that?

24:07 Guest Somewhere in the world, I guess.

24:09 Drew Sounds like a Charles Dickens city.

24:11 Adam What? Oh, in Anderson.

24:13 It's northern Nevada.

24:14 Adam Oh, that's northern Nevada? How is it you work in a brothel in Nevada and you don't know where another brothel city in Nevada is?

24:21 Guest Because I'm not in Nevada.

24:22 Drew She wasn't going to the conferences, Adam.

24:25 Adam You weren't attending the local hookers' meetings?

24:28 Guest Union Conference. No, that wasn't me.

24:29 Adam All right. All right. I can see why they drummed you out. And how long did you work at the brothel?

24:36 Guest Three months.

24:36 Adam Which one did you work at?

24:38 Guest Madame Kitty's Fantasy Ranch.

24:40 Adam I see. Which if you want to call Fantasy Ranch a bunch of cinderblock piled out in the middle of the desert and a swamp cooler on top of it, a fantasy ranch, that was it, right?

24:51 Guest So you've been?

24:53 Adam No, but I've seen these things. They make them out to be like these oases in the middle of the desert, and it's really just a bunch of chain link fence and cinderblock, right?

25:04 Guest No, actually they're constructed, manufactured homes actually, but that's beside the point.

25:11 Adam Oh, that's nice. So you got some T111 siding there or some nice corrugated sheet metal siding. That's beautiful. And how long did you work there?

25:21 Guest I told you, three months.

25:22 Adam Oh, three. Oh, that was only three months. How many guys you figure you had sex with in three months?

25:27 Guest Probably about 50 a month. So 150.

25:31 Drew You're like a pit bull tonight.

25:32 Adam How much money? I'm very curious though. I mean, how much money did you make a month doing that?

25:38 Guest 40. Well, I grossed 40,000, that's 20.

25:42 Drew In three months?

25:44 Guest No, per month.

25:45 Adam And you had to pay taxes and everything, right?

25:48 Guest Of course.

25:48 Adam And is it true that the way those brothels work, that you can't flag a guy down, the guy walks in and sort of looks around and picks a girl, but you can't go up to him?

25:59 Guest Yeah, if you do that, it's called dirty hustling.

26:02 Adam Really? So they just want to make sure it's an even playing field for everybody?

26:06 Guest Correct.

26:07 Adam I find this interesting. Hold on a second. Drew, don't you think this is interesting? Yeah. I mean, aren't you interested in the specifics of life? I mean, 40 grand a month?

26:18 Drew Well, didn't we have a former hooker in the show about two years ago? You took her all through all these questions?

26:25 Adam Yeah. But you know what? I never really got to the bottom of how much she made or how many guys she was with a month and things like that.

26:34 You know what I'm saying?

26:36 Drew I'm in a chat room right now and it says, Pahrump is one hour north of Las Vegas.

26:39 Adam Okay.

26:40 Drew That's where Pahrump is. All right.

26:41 Adam Hey, Drew, stop messing on the computer. You're very distracted tonight. All right. We are going to take ourselves a little break. I have a couple more hooker questions for Rebecca. I did, although give a shout out to Juggie Angelique and Juggie Vanessa, who told me I had to say hi to them.

27:00 Drew Is one of those the ones you were engaged in the abroad discussion with?

27:02 Adam No. Absolutely not. That was Juggie Suzanne. There's a lot of Juggies on site today. It was a good day. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with you and Drew and Rebecca, the ex-prostitute after this. Hey, kiddies, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-E-V-E-1-9-1. And let's get back with Rebecca. Rebecca was a stripper, is a stripper, and was working as a prostitute at a legal brothel in Nevada for three months, made 40 grand a month, did 50 guys a month. Not too bad. So wait a minute, Rebecca.

28:21 Guest What?

28:23 Adam So you do 40, so was it, was it about, am I doing the right math? Was it like 800 bucks a pop?

28:30 Guest Pretty much, 800 to a thousand, sometimes cheaper, so the thousand, averaging about a thousand a guy.

28:36 Adam You would average about a thousand a guy?

28:38 Guest Correct.

28:38 Adam And how long would you be with the guy for a thousand bucks?

28:43 Guest Sometimes at the most, at the most half hour, 45 minutes.

28:49 No.

28:50 Adam That's a little pricey.

28:52 Guest If they were nice, maybe an hour, hour and a half.

28:54 Adam Well, wait a minute, though. Were you just, you were just, what would you do, two, three guys in an evening's work?

29:01 Guest Around that. I mean, usually they piled up on the weekend, so, super long shift.

29:08 Adam I understand, yeah.

29:09 Guest Yeah.

29:12 Adam But was it really, I mean, a thousand bucks for 45 minutes, a half hour? Isn't that a little pricey?

29:19 Guest It's not like we tell them how much time they're getting. They ask for what they want, we give it to them, and we regulate our own time.

29:25 Adam Right. But I thought those brothels were a little bit, a little more reasonably priced.

29:32 Guest Like I said, it depends on the girl.

29:35 Adam Okay. So you charge more than a lot of the girls.

29:38 Guest You can charge how much you want.

29:43 Adam You can.

29:44 Guest You can.

29:45 Adam You can. And here's what I'm asking, was your 800 to 1000 bucks a pop one of the higher rates?

29:53 Guest It was.

29:54 Adam Were there other women there that were going for 150 or 200?

29:59 Guest Yeah.

30:01 Adam And did the guys know that going in? You know what I mean?

30:05 Guest The regulars, the locals probably.

30:07 Adam Wow. So you're pretty attractive?

30:10 Guest Yeah.

30:10 Adam And you would get repeat business?

30:14 Guest Yes.

30:15 Adam I see.

30:15 Guest Well, not necessarily. My prices were expensive. I usually attracted people coming through town or people traveling around the world.

30:21 Adam I understand. What's the smelliest race?

30:25 Guest Probably the Middle Eastern people.

30:27 Adam Middle Eastern people. Hold on, I'm writing this down. Okay. And which race has the smallest penis, please?

30:36 Guest It's probably Japanese.

30:38 Adam Japanese. Again, stereotypes are never true. And who are the worst tippers?

30:45 Guest The worst tippers are actually people with a lot of money.

30:49 Adam I see. And that could be any color.

30:51 Drew That's you, Adam.

30:52 Guest That would be me.

30:53 Adam All right. Hold on. Smallest penis, Japanese. Smelliest, Middle Eastern. Who are the worst in the sack? Which nationality?

31:03 Guest Probably young American men.

31:05 Adam I see. Young American men. Worst in the sack.

31:09 Drew How young?

31:09 Guest Between 18 and 24.

31:13 Adam Now did any perform oral sex on you?

31:17 Guest No.

31:18 Adam None of them did that?

31:19 Guest I found the average upper-class white American is pretty good at performing had, so.

31:26 Adam Wait a minute. Did you say they did perform that on you or didn't?

31:29 Guest The young men? No.

31:31 Adam Did anyone ever do that?

31:33 Guest Yes.

31:34 Adam What percentage of guys went down on you who were paying you? Because I want to know what kind of self-esteem a man has.

31:41 Guest Quite a few.

31:42 Adam Really? The guy plunks down a grand, the clock starts, and he goes down to the basement?

31:49 Guest Well, usually we flip around, you know, 69.

31:51 Adam I see. And what percentage? Was it half? Was it a quarter?

31:55 Guest No, usually when they want sex, they want sex, and we give what we call half and half, which is half oral sex, half straight sex.

32:02 Adam I see. But there were plenty of guys performing on you orally.

32:05 Guest Yes.

32:06 Drew See, Drew, that to me, I know what that means to you. I know.

32:10 Adam That is like you renting a car, getting it detailed, and then returning it. Do you know what I mean? Like what is in it for you? You take the car, you put it on a flatbed truck, you pull it right out of hearse, you drive it to a detailer, you have it detailed, you put it back on a flatbed truck, and you drop it off at hearse again.

32:32 Guest Well, I guess he's a clean freak.

32:33 Drew Better yet, you detail it. You take it out there and detail it yourself.

32:36 Adam You take it out and you detail it out in the hot sun yourself. You pay for the insurance, you pay for the weekly rate, you never drive it a mile, and you return the car. That's what going down on a prostitute is to me.

32:48 Drew Rebecca, what did you learn about people, do you think?

32:51 Adam Well, that the Middle Eastern smell.

32:53 Drew I know, and I have learned tonight, Adam, I appreciate you bringing this all out, but what have you learned about?

32:59 Guest To the unusual, I'm also a hardcore dominatrix.

33:03 Drew Oh, boy.

33:05 Adam What happened to you? Someone did something weird to you, huh?

33:07 Drew They beat you. Somebody beat you.

33:10 Guest Well, yeah, of course. I mean, I've gone through my whole life dealing with people doing things to me and always giving people the benefit of the doubt.

33:18 Drew You've been raped and beaten and all that kind of stuff.

33:20 Guest Oh, yeah. Rape, kidnapped, shot, beaten. Yeah.

33:25 Drew Oh, my God.

33:26 Guest But it's come to the point where someone that I've known since a child is someone I don't even trust. Yeah.

33:32 Adam Well, listen, Rebecca, everyone you decide to trust is going to do something weird to you.

33:37 Drew Well, but wait a minute.

33:38 Adam Except for the therapist.

33:39 Guest Thank you for the reassurance.

33:41 Adam Thank you.

33:41 Drew But listen to what she's calling about is that now you normally, so to speak, normally wouldn't feel that distrustworthy of people you've known your whole life.

33:50 Adam No.

33:51 Guest Before I was a hooker, I was a dominatrix, and I was not performing sexual favors.

33:56 Adam Hey, Drew, forget this angle. Listen, Rebecca.

33:59 Guest Yeah.

33:59 Drew Well, she's become acutely paranoid is what I'm saying. Why has it become acute?

34:04 Guest I don't know.

34:05 Adam You doing drugs?

34:06 Drew You doing speed? No.

34:07 Adam All right. Listen, get some therapy, would you? You make a lot stripping, don't you?

34:11 Drew You may need some medication because you can't have been through what you've been through and not have issues. And alteration of the biology of your brain function, too, as a result of these amazing traumas. And to be paranoid and to have mood disturbances and maybe be bipolar, there's all kinds of things could be going on with you that you need and suffer with. They can be improved with medication.

34:32 Adam She needs to see a psychiatrist and get an evaluation.

34:35 Drew Yeah.

34:36 Adam Thank you. Lisa?

34:37 Yeah.

34:38 Adam You're 20.

34:39 Caller Yeah.

34:39 Adam What's up?

34:40 Caller Well, the other night I had sex with my boyfriend and he got stuck in me and it took him forever to get out of me.

34:48 Adam Really?

34:49 Caller And I'm scared to have sex with him again.

34:51 Drew Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

34:52 Adam He may have tried a maneuver I did once in high school. He tried to tuck his balls into you too, right? Smart ass. Yeah, I tried that. Something just to sort of fill it out, kind of like a woman puts toilet paper in her bra to fill herself out, you know, Drew?

35:07 Drew Yeah, I understand what you were thinking.

35:08 Adam I'll wedge my balls in there every once in a while, just to make it seem like there's a little more down there. Is that what he did?

35:15 Caller No, I swear. I'm scared to have sex with them again because I just...

35:20 Adam How did he get stuck? Does he have a barbed penis, like a pig?

35:26 Caller He's got a huge penis.

35:28 Adam He does?

35:29 Caller Yeah.

35:29 Drew Is it pierced or something?

35:31 Caller No.

35:31 Adam Well, how did it get in you and not get out of you?

35:34 Caller I don't know. That's what I was wondering because...

35:38 Adam Does he put it in you and then inflate it or something?

35:42 Caller No. I don't know. All I know is that it would not come out of me.

35:48 Drew What did he say? What did he say? What was his reaction to that?

35:54 Caller He just... It happens all the time, babe.

35:57 Adam No way. He was asking.

35:58 Drew Oh, he's BSing you. Please. I can't believe you fell for this.

36:01 Adam Of course he could have pulled it out. It was like some... You know what it reminds me of, Drew? You know, it was like sitcoms, like some episode of Gilligan's Island when Gilligan gets superhuman strength or something, and the skipper tries to pick a styrofoam rock up, but he can't move it. And then Gilligan comes in and hoist it over his head. He reminds me of the skipper doing the acting. You know what I mean? It's like, ah, no, I can't get it out. One more time. No, can't get it out. Sorry. Wait a minute. I got out. It's in your mouth. No, no, I can't move it. Please. Now, maybe he has an unusually large head and maybe it became in gorge.

36:46 Drew Wait, Adam, Adam, first of all, any guy who that happens, do you think he's going to sit there and go, hey, just happens all, I mean, come on, he's going to flip out.

36:53 Adam Of course. Hey, Lisa, Lisa.

36:57 Caller Yeah.

36:57 Adam Does he have a big mushroom penis?

37:00 Caller Huh?

37:01 Adam Does he have a mushroom penis?

37:03 Drew I swear to God, you're high tonight. You're high. No, no, no, he doesn't. You hit your head or something?

37:08 Caller No, I didn't hit my head.

37:09 Drew No, Adam.

37:10 Adam Shut up, Drew. Lisa, does he have a mushroom penis?

37:14 Caller Yeah.

37:15 Adam He does?

37:16 Caller Yeah, I call it a mushroom penis.

37:18 Adam Kind of big around the head?

37:19 Caller Yeah.

37:20 Adam Like a plunger or ice cream cone or something? Yeah. All right. Maybe that's it. Maybe. No. So what do I do? I mean. Use lubrication. He's lying. Use lubrication. But Drew, here's my hypothesis. He was semi flaccid, not fully erect before he got in. Then he got in, he became engorged. The mushroom took shape and she dried up as they were having sex. When the mushroom was fully engorged mixed with her dryness, he couldn't get out of her.

37:56 Drew With that level of freak out, the mushroom would disengorge.

37:59 Adam Well, that's a fairly decent guess, you're right.

38:03 Drew Where does that vomit drop when we need it, by the way?

38:06 Adam Anderson's got it. Hey, Matt.

38:10 Yeah.

38:10 Adam You're 16?

38:11 Caller Yeah.

38:11 Adam You're obsessed with death?

38:14 Caller Well, that's what she told me to say.

38:19 Adam That's good radio, by the way. When you say on the air what the screener told you to say.

38:24 Caller I told her that I think I was losing my mind a little bit, and I was telling her how, well, in class the other day, the lady asked us what was going to happen in 10 years. My first response was, we're all going to die. So that's what I...

38:41 Adam Well, maybe that is obsessed with death.

38:43 Caller Well, I don't know. I kind of have an anger thing too. Right, right. Like, just yesterday, I put a little of deodorant on my friend's hand, just messing around with her. Then she put some on my face, and I just completely snapped on her.

39:00 Adam Yeah. What'd you do?

39:02 Caller Oh, I just yelled at her. I was like, all I did was put some of this deodorant on you, and you're putting it all over my head, and telling her how.

39:13 Drew You sound depressed also.

39:16 Adam Matt, do you think you might be depressed?

39:19 Caller Well, maybe. Yeah.

39:21 Drew Maybe with the depression gets treated, some of that anger and some of those weird preoccupations will settle down.

39:27 Adam He sounded like quite a package, that Matt, didn't he?

39:31 Caller Yeah.

39:31 Adam Yeah. All right. I'm scared. Now I'm depressed, Drew. I'm having fantasies about death. All right, Matt, a little therapy. Read a book. Start jogging.

39:41 Drew Medicine.

39:42 Adam Go on walks.

39:44 Drew He needs care. Okay. We agree with that.

39:46 Adam He certainly just by his voice and his cadence sounded like he could... A nice evaluation would be in order.

39:56 Drew There you go.

39:56 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, how about we talk with Bobby, who's 19. His boyfriend is obsessed with having sex toys in his butt.

40:06 Drew Oh, boy.

40:07 Adam Yeah. We'll talk with Bobby after this.

40:16 Caller We'll be right back with more. Love Line.

40:47 Yeah, it's Loveline.

40:48 Adam I'm Adam. That is Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Matthew McConaughey, the actor is going to be in here on Sunday. And this guy's done some pretty damn big movies over the last Time to Kill. Anderson, what other Matthew McConaughey movies? I know he's in that Jodie Foster one where he was-

41:10 Caller Contact.

41:11 Adam Contact, yeah.

41:12 Caller Dazed and Confused.

41:13 Adam Dazed and Confused. That's right. He played like the Hesher guy who was out of high school a year or two and still hanging around. Wow. He's in this new submarine movie.

41:25 Adam Grey Lady Down. Was that with Chuck Heston in 1974? Yeah, U-571. And I love a good sub movie. There's nothing better than a good sub movie. I was supposed to see it tonight at the premiere, except for I was working. But you know what I like about the sub movies, Drew? What? I like the part in every sub movie where they go shh, shh, shh. And they're in this sub in their 7,000 leagues under the sea, and the guy's going, and one guy goes, hey, Bert, and the other guy goes, shh, shh, quiet, quiet. I think it's there for dramatic effect. I could understand if someone got out a pan and started beating on it with a wooden spoon, how that might be picked up on sonar. But the part about them like talking in hushed tones, that it never really quite plays realistically to me. Do you think they really do that in sub?

42:20 Drew Especially when it's a World War I movie.

42:22 Adam Yeah. How much shushen really goes on in a sub? Every good sub movie, though, has got the shh, shh, don't say anything, quiet, everyone quiet. I bet this movie has a good shh scene in it. I'm going to ask Matthew when he comes in here on Sunday, and also EdTV. Anderson, I'll tell you, if he knows anything.

42:44 Drew Ah, that's the last one I saw him in.

42:46 Adam It's movies, yes. Bobby, you're 19, Drew, weren't you supposed to be in EdTV?

42:51 Drew Yeah, I was, actually I was. I was on Politically Incorrect with Woody Harrelson, and they filmed sort of a little piece for him, EdTV.

42:58 Adam That's right. You ended up on the cutting room floor.

43:01 Drew Of course.

43:02 Adam Bobby, what's up with your ass?

43:05 Guest Nothing of mine. I had a question. The guy I'm seeing, like when they're messing around, he like always wants to have like anal sex. He wants me to put like toys in his butt.

43:14 And I was wondering if that's a sign of him being gay.

43:17 Guest Cause he's like so obsessed with it.

43:19 Drew No, it isn't. It really isn't.

43:21 Guest But he like, even when he like nudge on himself, he'll like lick it. And he tells me like it tastes like nothing, but he likes it.

43:27 Adam He licks your butt?

43:29 Guest He'll like, yeah, he'll like get his fingers and touch it and put it in his mouth and he'll taste it. Ooh, yeah. I don't know if he's trying to get me to do it, but he's just like that. And he's older too, so yikes.

43:39 Adam Does he put his fingers inside of your butt and then put it in his mouth?

43:42 Guest No, this is like his butt, like when he, you know, best is in that after, you know, he does it for a while.

43:49 Adam All right.

43:50 Drew How many kids do you guys have?

43:52 Guest Huh?

43:53 Drew How many children do you have?

43:54 Guest I have one.

43:55 Adam Hey, Bobby, are you on a regular phone or a speaker phone?

43:58 Caller I'm on a cordless.

43:59 Adam All right. And it's right up against your mouth there where we can hear you?

44:03 Guest Okay, yeah.

44:04 Drew All right. That's a little bit of a move ball. She's holding a kid at the same time.

44:08 Adam You two have a infant between the two of you?

44:11 Guest No. I've been seeing him for like three months.

44:13 Adam I see.

44:14 And my kid's like almost two.

44:15 Adam I see. And where's daddy?

44:18 Guest He's around. We're really good friends.

44:20 Adam I see.

44:20 Guest That's about it.

44:21 Adam All right. Is he helping pay for the child?

44:24 Guest Oh, yeah, of course.

44:24 Adam Fantastic. And you've just been going out with the butt master for a few months now?

44:29 Guest Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, we just see each other. Nothing serious.

44:33 Drew Well, it certainly means something. Did she say that he likes sort of ingesting things that he has inserted in her?

44:40 Guest He what?

44:41 Drew Is that what I heard, Adam?

44:43 Adam I think he puts his fingers in his own butt and then puts it-

44:47 Guest No, he wants to put toys in his butt, like Deltos and stuff on.

44:49 Drew And then he puts those things where?

44:51 Guest Like in his butt.

44:52 Adam Yeah.

44:53 Drew And then where do they go?

44:54 Adam Oh, boy.

44:55 Drew They go in his butt?

44:56 Adam Hey, Bobby? Bobby, do you mind if I call you Rattardo? It would just be easier to remember. Rattardo on line one. Just to help us out here, he does put his fingers in his own butt, correct?

45:11 Guest No, he does not put fingers in his own butt.

45:13 Drew He puts toys in.

45:15 Guest He puts like, not like toys, like toys, but I'm talking like adult toys.

45:19 Drew And then what does he do with them after they've been in there?

45:22 Guest What does he do after they're in there?

45:23 Caller Yeah.

45:25 Guest He messes with them.

45:27 Drew In what way? Didn't you say he puts them in his mouth or something?

45:30 Guest Put them in his butt, then when he jacks off, and then after he like, busts them in the nut, he will taste his own nut.

45:35 Adam Oh, he will sample his own seed.

45:38 Guest Yeah.

45:39 Drew I see.

45:39 Adam Okay. Hey, Bobby?

45:42 Guest What?

45:42 Adam I know this guy sounds like a fine, fine father figure and, you know, a loving husband candidate around him.

45:50 Guest He doesn't.

45:51 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Listen, Bobby, here's, here's something interesting. Here's a good, a good rule of thumb. If you, if you don't trust someone around your kid, maybe you shouldn't trust them around you either.

46:03 Caller Yeah.

46:04 Adam You know what I mean?

46:05 Caller Yeah.

46:05 Adam Are you that desperate? Are you that hard up? Did you have to date a lunatic?

46:10 Guest No.

46:11 Adam All right. Well, why don't you just take a little Bobby time? Just take a little time off, pull yourself out of the dating circuit, focus on your kid for a little bit.

46:19 Guest No, just focus on him all the time.

46:21 Adam All right. And listen, don't get pregnant again, you goofball.

46:25 Caller Well, that's like crazy.

46:26 Guest You just call me a goofball.

46:28 Adam That's right. All right. Bobby, don't ruin your kid and break up with this guy.

46:32 Guest I saw you guys at the Winnie Roast.

46:34 Adam Fantastic. I'm wearing a helmet and a Kevlar vest next year. All right, Bobby, break up with this guy. He's a twisted and demented, okay? You don't need that in your life.

46:45 Drew She really had trouble explaining herself.

46:49 Adam She certainly did. And by the way, what do you think constitutes a red flag for Bobby and a man? How much of his own semen does he have to drink? How many toys does he have to wedge up his own anus before Bobby raises an eyebrow? Do you know what I'm saying? What's it going to take for her to go, jeez, I'm not sure about this one? What does one have to do? Cut into one's own scrotum and wear it over one's head like a goalie mask? I mean, what do you have to do before Bobby cuts you loose?

47:24 Drew The new episode of Rex Cabo.

47:26 Adam The Mr. Elastic Scrotum. All right, let's just say hi to someone before we go to back here, Drew. Alex is over here. Okay. Alex, you're 15.

47:37 Caller Yes, sir.

47:38 Adam That's right. You found out your girlfriend was messing around with someone else. You want to know who's asked to kick, hers or his, right?

47:44 Caller Right.

47:45 Adam All right. How long ago was this?

47:47 Caller This is about two months.

47:48 Adam It's been two months? It happened two months ago? Okay. You still haven't done any butt kicking yet, right?

47:57 Caller Right.

47:57 Adam So you're basically like putting their ass on layaway or something. You're going to kick someone's ass two months into it. They're not going to know why you're kicking their ass.

48:06 Drew Or do you just want to talk about this? You're just sitting around being depressed and pissed.

48:11 Adam Well, hold on a second there, Alex. He was forthright enough to admit that. So we'll talk to him after the break.

48:22 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

48:56 Adam Yep, we'll take a quick 10-second time out for a little affiliate identification, and we'll be right back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

49:07 This is Loveline on Radio Station.

49:22 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Matthew McConaughey will be in here on Sunday. Then Frank Stallone.

49:41 Boom, ba, boom, ta, bah, cha.

49:43 Adam Yeah.

49:46 Drew Okay.

49:46 Adam Anyone see Staying Alive 2?

49:49 Drew Nope.

49:49 Adam No. Oh, boy. That is quite a song. I had a lot of, well, that was one, but two really, you see, Drew, two picked up, I guess, where that left off about four or five years.

50:03 Drew I was out. I was gone at that point.

50:05 Adam Tony Manero or Tony Ghinwapi or whatever his name was, was now going to become a professional dancer.

50:13 Drew Oh, really?

50:14 Adam But the problem was, is, you know, I guess, staying alive was Anderson, what are we talking about, 79, 78, 79?

50:23 77, I'm guessing.

50:24 Adam Saturday Night Fever, yeah, it might be 78, 77, 78. The other one was more like 81, 82, and by then it was a lot of, you know, spandex and bad headbands and things like that. All right.

50:39 Drew Anyway, Frank Stallone and girls with those big leg warmers around their legs.

50:43 Adam A lot of leg warmers. Not only did dancers wear those leg warmers, fat women in jeans wore them in the subway. I mean, it was kind of funny. I kind of miss that, you know, where something would take hold even if it didn't have anything to do with anything, anything and people would just start wearing it. I mean, it's really, it's like, it's tantamount to the construction tool belt really catching on. Yeah. And, you know, guys showing up in business suits and going to meetings and going out on dates just wearing tool bags.

51:17 Drew And here's the insanity of all this. I watched that all go down. And in my sort of, without thinking about it, I assumed they served a purpose. I thought there was something they were getting out of that. It never even occurred to me to think that it was nothing.

51:27 Adam Well, women's shins do run cold, Drew, much colder than males. The Goo Goo Dolls will be in here also next week. And our favorite friends.

51:37 Drew We haven't seen them in a while.

51:38 Adam No, we haven't. But they're really nice guys. And I'll be glad to see them. And Save Ferris is going to be in here. And we always love Save Ferris.

51:46 Drew So it's going to be a fun one. I saw one of the Goo Goo Dolls on that HBO TV show about the taxis.

51:52 Adam Oh, yeah. It got loaded, came home from the club.

51:55 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

51:56 Adam Yeah, we'll have to get into that on Wednesday, Taxi Camp, Two Fashions. All right. So when we left off, we're speaking to Alex. Alex is 15. Alex's girlfriend screwed around on him two months ago. He's still PO'd. Are you still going out with her?

52:13 Caller Yeah.

52:14 Adam You are.

52:14 Drew What?

52:15 Adam Have you been torturing her?

52:17 Caller Well, it's been kind of hard to be nice to her and stuff.

52:20 Caller Yeah.

52:23 Caller I know she's been screwing off me because I've seen some of the e-mails on her computer.

52:27 Drew If you can't forgive and or if she's not willing to really commit to this relationship, why continue?

52:35 Caller Well, she takes control over me sometimes.

52:40 Adam I see. She owns your soul. I know how it is. When you say fool around, do you mean have sex or kiss or what do you mean?

52:49 Caller I think, yeah, have sex, I think, is what she's doing is.

52:53 Adam You think she's continuing to do that?

52:56 Caller Possibly.

52:57 Drew Why are you staying in this relationship?

52:59 Adam She owns his soul.

53:01 Drew I understand that.

53:02 Adam All right. Hey, Alex? Yeah. Here's the problem. You're in what you call a negative cycle, which is, and Drew, you can understand this. The more you give in, the less of yourself you have, the softer you get, the more easy it makes you, the easier it makes you to give in the next time, till just eventually you just don't care anymore. You know what I'm saying?

53:24 Drew Well, you don't have enough esteem to stand up and figure out what the hell you want, and you can't leave. You're stuck. You just feel lousy, and you're sort of thankful to have anything you've got.

53:32 Adam Right, but you're like a battery that's being worn down.

53:36 Drew Right.

53:37 Adam Each time you give in, each time you don't break up, each time you don't take a stand where you should have taken a stand, you get a little bit weaker. It draws a little more of your energy, and therefore the next time the situation comes in, you cave that much faster. Right. I remember this with girlfriends. It was like they broke up with me. I wanted to get them back. I was going to have some pride. I was going to take a stand, and then it just got to a certain point a few weeks down the road, where I just went, oh, f it. I'm a babbling just pile of a lard, screw it. I might as well just throw myself on the mercy of the court.

54:13 You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

54:18 Adam And it never works. It never works. You got to get out of it. You got to you got to take a stand. And in the mortal words of Frank Stallone, I am down, but I am far from over. OK, you know what I'm saying? You don't know that song, do you?

54:36 Drew No. Yeah, thankfully.

54:37 Adam Yeah. All right. Where do you want to go?

54:40 Drew I want to go to Alana.

54:42 Adam All right. That would be line two. Drew, do you have the lines in front of you there?

54:45 Drew No, I don't. I just have the names.

54:47 Adam All right. Alana, you're at 20. What's up?

54:49 Caller Hi, guys. My problem is when I masturbate, I don't use any insertion. And so I just use pressure on my pelvic bone. And that's how I orgasm. When I have sex, I can't orgasm because I'm just, I don't know, I guess that's the norm for my body, you know? I was just wondering, I mean, is that normal? Do women often masturbate this way? I mean...

55:17 Caller Yes.

55:18 Adam The whole part about putting stuff in you, or as I like to say, up you, is a little bit of a, it's kind of a, I don't want to say a wives' tale, but it's sort of a social misnomer or something.

55:33 Drew Well, no, it's men's concept of what it should be. Men just think, oh, well, this, you know, mine is shaped this way, this is what feels good. So theirs is like that, so it must feel good when it does the opposite.

55:43 Adam Yeah, most women who masturbate, I would say, just sort of lightly rub on their clitoris or that area. Wouldn't you say, Drew?

55:51 Drew Yes. Or let the water do the work.

55:53 Adam Do the talking. Yeah. They're not ramming things up in them, like in the movies.

55:57 Caller So am I going to ever be able to have an orgasm during sex?

56:02 Adam Well, what about during oral sex? Can you peel one off then?

56:06 Caller You know what I found really funny is when my boyfriend gives me oral sex, I get to the point where I just feel tickled, where I just can't even stand it anymore. It's not even the orgasm feeling. It's just like the point of...

56:17 Adam I see.

56:18 Caller I can't even take anymore. It's like more of a tickling, like it...

56:21 Adam You're like overwhelmed. Maybe he could change his technique a little bit.

56:25 Drew Yeah, I think there's a mismatch of some type here.

56:28 Caller You really think so?

56:29 Adam Does he have a handlebar mustache?

56:31 Drew No. The mismatch may just be, you know what you need and he isn't able to deliver.

56:36 Adam You're going to have to sort of guide him. I've said it many a time. People will sort of steer you in the right direction. Let me tell you a little story, Drew.

56:48 Drew But really quickly, just to comment, isn't it interesting how Rebecca the prostitute we were talking to a half hour ago was saying how young males, American males in that age group, are pathetic?

56:58 Adam Yeah. And what about the guys that are, you know, paying a thousand bucks to eat their lunch in the brothel while the clock is ticking?

57:07 Drew I know this. You can't stand that.

57:09 Adam No lower self-esteem than that. And talk about being a, you know, horrible consumer. Pardon the pun. All right. Here's what I want to say. Boy, I got a thousand thoughts on this. Here's something, Drew. I don't think we've ever talked about this, and it's rare that we stumble onto something that we haven't talked about in all these years. But women masturbate the way Alana just mentioned, most of them. They usually give themselves a sort of a light stimulation with one finger or something in the upper vaginal area there around the glutaurus, the vulva area. That's right. Now, then they get with a man, the man inserts his penis, and naturally they can't have an orgasm because the sensation is really nothing like what they're used to.

57:56 Drew That's right.

57:57 Adam What if, and wouldn't it be more prudent or make more sense for a woman to sort of try to simulate the sexual act with the masturbation, and I bet if one trained one's vagina to respond to that, one could have an orgasm with intercourse.

58:14 Drew Or why not recreate the masturbatory experience with the guy there?

58:18 Adam Well, Drew, I know you don't like to ever hear about women doing anything sexually other than pleasing themselves, but let's face it. Guys bend over backwards oftentimes trying to give a woman an orgasm, and it just ain't happening. And a lot of women complain, I would like to have an orgasm with intercourse. Now, don't be so cynical and jaded for a second here, Drew. Let's just say there's a couple, and they're very much in love, and there's no more intimate experience than having penetration and having intercourse. And the woman wants to experience that sensation of having the intercourse while the, pardon me, having the orgasm while the man is in her.

59:03 Drew Right.

59:04 Adam Don't you think she could sort of train herself or work with herself to be able to achieve that?

59:11 Drew It's an interesting point. I agree.

59:12 Adam And what is wrong with that, by the way?

59:14 Drew Nothing's wrong with that, of course. You've been honing your skills for years.

59:18 Adam Yeah. Well, it's like honing, except for it starts with a B. But the point is, the point is, is if a woman, I bet if a woman got herself something like a vibrator but didn't turn it on, just something sort of phallic shape, put it in her and got used to stimulating her clitoral area while something was in her, she might be able to peel one off when she was in the presence of a man.

59:44 Drew Yeah, by the way, somehow peeling off doesn't apply to a female, does it?

59:48 Adam Rip one off.

59:49 Drew Okay.

59:50 Adam Tear one down, break one off.

59:53 Caller Cut a slice.

59:55 Adam I had this big bald black man who was chasing me around my prison cell in a sketch we're doing today, yell at me, he was going to break me down like a shotgun. I never really thought about that because you hear people talking about the pumping of the shotgun, but picture the old Jed Clampett shotgun that you broke down. Yeah, it does. It does take on a whole new meaning when a large bald black man is yelling he's going to break you down like one. All right. Where the hell are we going now, Drew?

1:00:28 Drew Amanda.

1:00:29 Adam Amanda. Amanda. Oh, one more thing I wanted to say.

1:00:32 Drew Oh, OK. A thousand ideas.

1:00:34 Adam I know. I know. Our program director doesn't like it when I talk on the show. But here's what I want to say about guys in oral sex. This caller we had, the guy didn't seem to be doing a very good job orally. And I've always said that if you leave yourself in sort of a neutral position when you're down there and you don't work too fast or too vigorously, the woman will sort of steer you in the right direction. And it reminds me of a story that my grandfather, God rest his soul, he used to do this trick where he performed oral sex on me. Where at a party he would tell someone to like, you know, hide something somewhere in the room. And then he would leave the room and the person would hide, you know, their keys under a sofa pillow or something.

1:01:18 Drew No, the matzah. He'd hide the matzah.

1:01:21 Adam No, yeah, he was Jewish, but it wasn't, he wasn't looking for the...

1:01:25 Drew He'd go, warmer, warmer.

1:01:27 Adam Yacca coda or whatever the Jews call that. The point is, is he would sort of hold their hand and say that he would guide them around the room and he would go, and he would always go right to the keys and he would find them. And the trick was, the person would sort of very, very subtly end up guiding them. You know what I'm saying?

1:01:46 Drew So he would read the pressure in their hand.

1:01:48 Adam He would read the pressures, he sort of walked them around the room, and they would inevitably lead him to whatever the object was that he hit.

1:01:56 Drew Isn't that fascinating? Wow.

1:01:57 Adam My point is, is if guys use that technique just a little more, instead of just sort of going, running rough shot over the vagina?

1:02:06 Drew Well, it should be a feedback loop, right? There should be a stimulus response, and then you allow that to be the feedback.

1:02:13 Adam But what I'm saying is, is the woman doesn't have to smack you on one side of the head with a slipper and yell softer or harder or to your right, that would be to my left. She just has to, you just have to sort of pick up on her very subtle movements. And if you leave yourself open, you can figure it out. All right, now where are we going?

1:02:33 Drew Adam, you're right. No more calls tonight. Let's just talk.

1:02:36 Adam All right, I remember one time my grandfather always said about eating poon tang. He told me there's two types of poon, he told me. All right, Drew, seriously, where are we going?

1:02:48 Drew Seriously, Amanda.

1:02:48 Adam All right, that would be three. Amanda?

1:02:53 Hi, guys.

1:02:53 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:02:55 Caller I have a problem. I have a friend, and she seems to be obsessed with everything I do. And I don't know what to do about it. It's like, everything I do, she does it.

1:03:07 Drew Like what? Give me a picture of her hair color?

1:03:09 Caller When we first met each other, she was like a total prep. She had like one boyfriend, she stayed with him, and I'm kind of the wild chick, you know?

1:03:17 Drew So she emulates your style.

1:03:19 Caller Yeah, and she, I have one boyfriend.

1:03:21 Drew What's wrong with that?

1:03:22 Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Ba ba ba ba ba.

1:03:30 Adam Hey.

1:03:32 Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.

1:03:35 Adam Hey Amanda. Listen, who cares? Nobody cares.

1:03:39 Drew Well, I know you want to get back to your diatribe, Adam, but what is it she's trying to get at here? What is your question?

1:03:45 Adam My grandfather told me once. Oh, she likes you.

1:03:50 Drew I swear to God you're high tonight. I swear to God.

1:03:52 Adam No, I'm not. You know what I'm high on?

1:03:54 Drew Life, man.

1:03:55 No, it's crack.

1:03:56 Adam It's not fun. Amanda, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

1:04:01 Drew Or are you trying to recreate?

1:04:02 Caller It's not being flattering, though.

1:04:04 Drew Are you trying to recreate the single white female sort of script here for us?

1:04:07 Caller No, but you know what? Everybody I tell and everybody that knows her says the same thing. That it's like, oh my God, it's like single white female.

1:04:14 Drew Is she that nuts?

1:04:16 Caller Huh?

1:04:16 Drew Is she nuts?

1:04:17 Caller I don't know what's wrong with her. She wasn't like that when I first met her. And like all of a sudden, it was like she comes over to my house, look what I did, look what I did. It's like the same exact thing that I've done.

1:04:27 Drew It's just dumb.

1:04:27 Caller I don't know how to deal with that. I don't know if I should be her friend or.

1:04:30 Drew Let's put it this way, that movie had never been, if you'd never seen that movie, would you be worried about this?

1:04:34 Caller I am worried about it. Hey, I've never had a friend do this to me before.

1:04:38 Adam Good answer. Hey, Amanda, you say she copies your hairstyle and what else?

1:04:46 Caller Everything.

1:04:48 Caller I mean, there's not anything she doesn't.

1:04:50 Adam Well, give us a specific, something that's scary, you know?

1:04:54 Caller Like, scary? She had one boyfriend and she knows that I'm sexually active and now all of a sudden she's like this big old horn ball and has sex with everybody and comes over here and like, brags about it to me.

1:05:07 Drew All right, okay.

1:05:08 Caller It's scary. It's like, God, can't you be your own self, you know?

1:05:12 Drew Did you say that to her?

1:05:13 Caller Yeah, I do and she's like, I'm not copying you and I'm all, well, you know, you're doing everything I do.

1:05:17 Drew Well, just distance yourself from her if you're not comfortable.

1:05:20 Caller You don't like her.

1:05:20 Adam Don't hang out with her if she gives you the creeps, goofball.

1:05:23 Caller But I go to school with her and she's my niece.

1:05:25 Adam Shut up. Listen, you know why I don't like this question, Drew?

1:05:30 Drew Why?

1:05:30 Adam Because it's a sort of...

1:05:32 Drew No question.

1:05:32 Adam It's A, it's not a question, it's a statement. B, you sons of retards out there, if you're hanging around with somebody and you don't like them, yet they're your friend, stop hanging around with them.

1:05:46 Drew Yeah.

1:05:47 Adam And four, this is one of those chick things. I mean, seriously, I meet a guy and he shows up in the same sweater I'm wearing and it's high fives all the way around.

1:05:58 Drew Adam, Adam, honestly, you don't like women, do you? Really, seriously.

1:06:03 No.

1:06:04 Drew If a hooker, if somebody goes down on a hooker, that's just insurmountable, that's just awful esteem.

1:06:10 Adam Well, actually, I blame the guy for that, Drew. That's not the woman. Drew, listen.

1:06:16 Drew But it's the fact that he's doing something to a woman that it's, oh, how could that be?

1:06:20 Adam All right, Drew, how many calls do you want to jump back? You want to go back to this time last week?

1:06:24 Drew No, I don't want to do any more calls. I want to talk about your castration complex and how those dreams of you, your mom, your grandmother coming over and smacking you over the head with your own scrotum are really important.

1:06:34 Adam I never said my own scrotum. Oh, yes, I did say my own scrotum. Ha ha, touche. Listen, here's my point. This is not a big deal. And if it is a big deal, stop hanging around with the person. But here's what I would bet. I would bet that this person sort of looks up to Amanda, that this person is probably feels that she's in a little over her head socially, maybe a little bit of an outcast, a little bit of a nerd or a geek. And so she's trying to do her best to sort of please Amanda and to just sort of be accepted.

1:07:10 Drew Yeah, be a part of her.

1:07:11 Adam And Amanda's bitch slapping her for it. And my point is, is if it's too much, then don't hang out with her. But if some guy wants to listen to the same CDs I listen to and wear the same shoes I want to wear, I want to hang out with him more.

1:07:25 Drew Do you hate women?

1:07:26 Adam I love women. I hate women.

1:07:29 Caller OK.

1:07:32 Adam Oh, Drew, please, please.

1:07:34 Drew I'm just exploring.

1:07:35 Adam Listen, it's just your wife.

1:07:36 Drew You said some very revealing things tonight.

1:07:38 Adam What did I say? I said when a guy pays a thousand bucks and goes down on a hooker, it's like renting a car to have it detailed. That's all I said. And it smacks of low self-esteem. What about the part where I was talking about how to please a woman orally? Jackass. The temerity. How dare you? How dare you? I like it when people say it twice. Maria? How dare you?

1:08:05 Caller Fine.

1:08:06 Caller I have two questions.

1:08:09 Adam You're 15.

1:08:10 Caller Yeah.

1:08:10 Adam Yeah. What's up?

1:08:11 Caller And I have two questions.

1:08:12 Adam All right.

1:08:13 Caller All right. My first one is, I have heard from a friend that smoking cigarette makes you lose weight.

1:08:18 Adam Yeah.

1:08:19 Drew Well, there's a stimulant in caffeine and people, yeah, their appetite will be cut back, but so will your life expectancy.

1:08:25 Caller But is that like if you smoke a lot or just like once in a while?

1:08:28 Adam Well, you have to eat the cigarettes for them to really have a lower impact.

1:08:32 Drew That and there really isn't casual use of cigarettes, so don't do that, okay?

1:08:36 Caller Okay.

1:08:36 Adam How much weight are you trying to lose?

1:08:38 Caller No, I'm not trying to lose weight. I just heard and I was just curious.

1:08:41 Drew Well, in the old days-

1:08:42 Adam Sorry for that allegation, Maria.

1:08:44 Drew Fifty years ago, doctors used to recommend cigarettes for weight loss and energy. Can you believe that?

1:08:49 Adam Well, I can see that. You do get a certain rush. Hey, Maria? You're not trying to lose any weight?

1:08:56 Caller No.

1:08:56 Adam Okay. So who cares?

1:08:57 Caller And my other question, well, okay, my ex-boyfriend, well, I'm like already over him and we were together like six months ago. But I don't know, it's just really strange. Like recently, I just found out, okay, I have a best friend and people like think he's gay, but I don't know if he's gay or not. You know, but people are just like think he's gay. And I had gone to his house and he went with me. And my ex-boyfriend used to think he was gay. And he put his hand like above his hand, like he just like put his hand above his hand, like and my best friend just recently told me. And I told him, Michael, that's weird. You know, he never told me. I mean, I think if he would have been messing around, he would have told me about it, you know, as a laugh. But he never mentioned it. So I don't know. I found that pretty strange.

1:09:41 Drew Adam, wake up, wake up, wake up.

1:09:43 Adam Wake up, wake up.

1:09:44 Mommy?

1:09:46 Adam Hey, Maria.

1:09:48 Drew Yeah.

1:09:48 Adam I didn't hear any of that. I fell asleep halfway into it. One guy put his hand above the other guy's hand.

1:09:55 Caller Yeah, but like.

1:09:56 Drew Oh, my God.

1:09:58 Adam He's moving to Fire Island, this guy. He's probably got the Aids. He's probably pulling the train right now or behind some glory hole. Wow. I went into the movie once where this one guy put his hand above this other guy's hand.

1:10:10 Drew Oh, humanity.

1:10:11 Adam I vomited. I couldn't believe it. It was repulsive.

1:10:14 Caller But he looked at him strange, like.

1:10:16 Drew Oh, not that too.

1:10:18 Adam Oh, my God. With them big gay, beady eyes. Listen, Colombo, stop trying to figure out who's gay.

1:10:27 Caller No, but it's not just that. He's weird. After I broke up with him, my...

1:10:32 Adam Okay. Hey, listen, Maria.

1:10:34 Caller Yeah.

1:10:34 Adam I don't know.

1:10:35 Drew Calm down.

1:10:35 Adam I went to this turn into, like, Tiger Beat chat line or something. And then this dick... And then she wore my sweater. And then he looked at me and I looked at me funny like he was gay. And I think he's gay. I mean, oh, who cares?

1:10:49 Caller Hey, Maria...

1:10:52 Adam I'm going to hell. Maria was on hold for 97 minutes. We're always right when we have someone on hold for an hour and a half, aren't we, Drew?

1:11:01 Drew There's a reason that they get left on hold.

1:11:03 Adam We've been trying like a mother to avoid that call all night. It's been staring me right in the face. All right, listen, Maria...

1:11:10 Drew Let's take a break. No, no, no.

1:11:13 Adam She was on hold for two hours. My point is, and I'll just say it one more time, if someone is giving you the creeps, if you don't like the way someone is acting, feel free not to hang out with them. It's fine.

1:11:23 Drew Thank you.

1:11:23 Caller There's no problem with that.

1:11:25 Drew Enjoy.

1:11:25 Adam Enjoy. We'll be back.

1:11:29 Caller Yo, Loveline, we'll be right back, homie.

1:12:01 Caller Hi, this is Monique.

1:12:01 Drew And this is T-Bone from Save Ferris.

1:12:03 Caller And you're listening to Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:12:09 Caller Yes, and...

1:12:10 Drew Good to see them again, yeah.

1:12:11 Adam It will be. I'll tell you, Monique is one of the nicest people I've ever met, and the whole band is great. They really are, so...

1:12:23 Drew And we watched them in concert with her parents sitting there while she...

1:12:26 Adam Talked about... Oh, yeah. She after-shopped the mic stand or something.

1:12:31 Drew It was the Show Me Your Vagina with...

1:12:33 Adam Show Me Your Vagina? Yeah.

1:12:34 Drew Remember she was saying that?

1:12:35 Adam Yeah, her parents were standing there.

1:12:37 Drew Oh, there's mom and dad. We were like, Oh, my God. Monique.

1:12:40 Adam Yeah, that is nice. It's payback time. Just like for me on the radio. Hey, weren't we supposed to be in a Save Ferris video, by the way?

1:12:50 Drew Gotta talk to them about that.

1:12:52 Adam What happened?

1:12:53 Drew I don't know.

1:12:54 Adam All right. Fantabulous. You're right. I'm hitting a wall here, by the way, Drew. I left the house at 8 this morning. When the hell did you leave?

1:13:00 Drew Six.

1:13:01 Adam You idiot. Anything for a buck. All right. Where are we here, Drew?

1:13:06 Drew What line?

1:13:07 Adam Do we leave off of someone?

1:13:08 Drew Let's talk to Mike, who's 20.

1:13:11 Adam All right. Here we go. Mike?

1:13:14 Caller Yes.

1:13:14 Adam You're 20. What do you...

1:13:17 Caller Well, what happened is, is I did a... About a week ago, I went to the hospital after doing a substantial amount of methamphetamines, and they found out that I might have a heart condition.

1:13:26 Adam How much, how much meth did you do?

1:13:30 Caller About two and a half grams of myself.

1:13:32 Drew Did you tell them you had...

1:13:34 Adam How long a period of time?

1:13:37 Caller Within a, oh, I'd say about a 15 hour period.

1:13:41 Drew Did you tell them, did you have done this? Did you tell them you had done this?

1:13:46 Caller No, I didn't because of, you know, I didn't want, you know, they found out anyways because they did a blood test and a urine test and they did a test and I kind of lied to them and said, well, I don't know how I got there. It might have been because of my drink at a party or something.

1:14:00 Drew Oh my God, oh boy. So what is the nature of the heart condition?

1:14:04 Adam I put them on a hole because his line was so...

1:14:07 Drew I gotta know what the heart condition was.

1:14:08 Adam What's the heart condition?

1:14:10 Caller They don't know. They said I had a heart murmur and I have to go in for tests next week to find out.

1:14:14 Drew You know, in my experience, that has been more associated with cocaine. Did you do a lot of cocaine too?

1:14:20 Caller Well, they said they found cocaine in my body, but what I did, what I was told that I did was methamphetamines.

1:14:27 Drew That was the only night you've done the stimulants? Otherwise you don't do them?

1:14:30 Caller No, I didn't. It was just kind of, you know, I went to this party and they were like, hey, do you want to do some of this? And I was like, sure. And then after I did some, and I was pretty high, I went and bought some more. And it just kind of went on for...

1:14:40 Drew So you've never done cocaine that you know of?

1:14:43 Caller No, never. I've never done it before.

1:14:45 Drew So it was just a binge that night. What did you go to the emergency room with? What was the symptom?

1:14:49 Caller Well, they said I had an anxiety attack. I didn't breathe. I wasn't breathing for like a minute and a half. And my girlfriend called 911 and had the paramedics come and get me because I apparently blacked out, so I don't remember this, but I apparently fell and hit my head on the wall and was twitching in my body. They said it atrophied, I think is the word.

1:15:11 Drew Maybe out of seizure. Maybe out of seizure. The speed can do that to you too. But listen, there's a couple of things. One is that the cocaine is a powerful vasoconstrictive, so it can restrict the supply of blood to the inner surface of the heart. It can cause a dissolving of the sort of tendons that keep the heart valve stuck down, so that can dissolve and the valves can start flopping around. So there might have been cocaine. Secondly, you may have just had...

1:15:33 Adam I got that from one night, though.

1:15:34 Drew Usually not, usually not. And secondly, this may have been what's called a hyperdynamic murmur, just your heart is so overdriven by the stimulants that you hear a murmur even though it's not caused by a significant heart valve problem. So get it checked out and don't do that anymore. Thank you.

1:15:50 Adam And enjoy. Listen, two and a half grams of crank is a ton. Yeah, I mean, I tell you, one time in my life, I did like two small lines of crank and was going for a day. And I couldn't imagine. I mean, I'm trying to figure out, Drew, how many how many, you know, sort of average size lines do you get out of a gram? I mean, what do you think? You know, average size, you know, two, three inches long by an eighth of an inch wide.

1:16:21 Drew I have no idea.

1:16:21 Adam Gram a coke. What would you say? I'd say I'd say I'd say gram. I'd say gram a coke would be more like ten lines about that size, wouldn't you? Yeah. The point is, is, is he's really two and a half grams of crank. He's doing like 25, 30 nice size lines of crank. I mean, that's that's crazy, man. That'll freak your ass out, brother.

1:16:45 Drew Talk to, you haven't talked to Chris. He's been a hole for a long time, right?

1:16:48 Adam All right. I just got, I got a bad feeling about the boy. That's all, Chris.

1:16:52 Drew How long has he been on hold?

1:16:54 Adam 112 minutes and 32 seconds.

1:16:56 Drew Okay. All right.

1:16:57 Adam Yeah. Why shouldn't you all suffer like me? That's going to be the name of my next book. Chris, what's up?

1:17:04 Caller Hi, I'm Charlie.

1:17:10 Drew Your instincts were good, Adam.

1:17:11 Adam Chris, are you retarded?

1:17:14 Caller Are you?

1:17:16 Drew He says his name is Charlie.

1:17:17 Adam Well, maybe he's retarded. I don't want to make fun of him.

1:17:21 Caller Adam is retarded.

1:17:22 Adam Oh, okay. Well, you know what? Even though it's a prank call, the guy's been on hold for 112 minutes.

1:17:30 Drew Serves him right. We have good instincts.

1:17:32 Adam I know, but I still feel like we owe him something.

1:17:36 Drew No, come on.

1:17:37 Adam Come on.

1:17:38 Drew You really are out. You're high. I swear to God, you're high tonight.

1:17:40 Adam Oh, I wish I was. I wish. You wish. We wish I was high. All right. Let's talk to someone who's recently raped and see if we can have the show take an upbeat turn. Wendy, you're 21. What's up?

1:17:54 Caller Yeah, I was recently raped.

1:17:57 Adam I was, too, by the federal government. $253,000. I wrote him a check for you. Believe me, I'd rather be held down at Knife Point by Hell's Angels in a park. Seriously. Hold on. Hypothetical, Drew. Held down by, not you, Drew. You make a good living. But you're average American. Held down by biker and raped one time or $253,000 out of the checking account over to the federal government. Held down and raped.

1:18:25 Drew There you go.

1:18:26 Adam Thank you.

1:18:26 Drew Well, yeah.

1:18:28 Adam Yeah, it's better. You don't feel as dirty at the end of it. So what's up, Wendy?

1:18:32 Caller Yeah. So I don't really like feel like traumatized or anything. Like I see like the TV shows, like the girls that get raped on TV and stuff. And I'm wondering if like that's normal.

1:18:41 Caller Like what happened?

1:18:42 Drew What happened? Yeah.

1:18:43 Caller I'm sorry.

1:18:44 Drew What happened?

1:18:45 Caller Well, I was like, it was my 21st birthday and I was drinking a lot. And I ended up these guys that were friends of a friend, take me home, but they didn't take me home. They took me and they parked and they got on top of me. And they just started doing stuff.

1:19:03 Adam See, this whole designated driver thing is not working the way they planned.

1:19:07 Drew Were you completely intoxicated? Were you really?

1:19:10 Caller No. I mean, after they were doing that, I realized that, you know, so I made them stop. I like, I mean, they wouldn't stop. I mean, I made them like kind of keep driving because one of them said something about, let's go get a room or something.

1:19:24 Drew Did they rape you?

1:19:25 Caller Yes, they did. I mean, I totally wasn't, I wasn't even like flirting with them or anything, you know. I totally did not want them.

1:19:32 Adam Was this more, this is more than one person?

1:19:34 Caller There's two guys.

1:19:35 Adam They both had sex with you?

1:19:37 Caller Well, I only remember one of them doing it.

1:19:39 Adam I see. And did you say?

1:19:41 Caller There was a guy, like, I told him, I told him, like, I had this idea in my head, like, yeah, if I say that, you know, like, yeah, let's get a room, then they'll keep driving and I can make, pretend that I'm going to throw up and get out of the car. So they did and I got out of the car and I ran out and I just left running.

1:19:58 Adam And did you say you knew these guys?

1:20:01 Caller No, they were friends of a friend.

1:20:03 Drew Oh, boy.

1:20:04 Caller Who went to my party.

1:20:06 Drew Had you had sex before? You weren't a virgin. You weren't a virgin or anything.

1:20:09 Caller No.

1:20:10 Drew Have you ever been victimized before?

1:20:13 Caller I was, yeah, but that was, like, a long time ago.

1:20:15 Adam Shocking.

1:20:16 Drew Surprise.

1:20:17 Adam Yeah, it's never a surprise, unfortunately.

1:20:20 Caller But I don't really feel like...

1:20:21 Adam Not that it wasn't your fault. It's just somehow, every time this happens, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, every time this happens, it's happened before. Well, okay, but let's figure out what happened the first time when you were younger.

1:20:31 Caller I was... it was when I was like 16 or 17, and I was also drinking.

1:20:36 Adam And what about before that?

1:20:38 Caller That was it.

1:20:39 Adam Nothing?

1:20:39 Caller Nothing before that.

1:20:40 Adam No, nothing in the family?

1:20:42 Caller No.

1:20:43 Adam Well, where's dad?

1:20:45 Caller He's at home. He lives with us.

1:20:46 Adam All right.

1:20:47 Drew And what's the... He drinks, though. He's an alcoholic.

1:20:50 Caller Right.

1:20:51 Adam Something to set you up. That's all I'm saying.

1:20:53 Drew Yeah. Look, you have to do something because you're moving down a progressive, slippery slope here. Things are going to get worse for you, Wendy, they are. And why you're not having any affect, any feelings about what had happened to you, I'm not sure. You found a way to sort of numb yourself or to distance yourself from your feelings. And I expect there'll be a price for that, such as a need to escalate your drinking. So if you're ready to do something, you need to get some sort of rape counseling for even what had happened to you four years ago, five years ago when you were 16. You need to deal with your alcoholism because you're in the burgeoning stages of alcoholism. And you may need some codependency treatment. I suggest you get yourself a therapist and start talking to someone and follow their direction.

1:21:36 Adam How about reporting these guys to the police who raped you?

1:21:40 Caller I don't know. I just kind of don't want to deal with that, really. I mean, I just try to avoid places where I'm sure they're going to be at.

1:21:48 Adam Oh, but you know these guys. You know how to find them.

1:21:52 Drew Yeah, but it's too late now.

1:21:53 Adam All right, all right. I really wish...

1:21:56 Drew I agree with you. She should report it.

1:21:57 Adam Well, here's why I wish people would report these people.

1:22:00 Drew These guys can't keep getting away with this.

1:22:02 Adam Well, it takes the pressure off me. Keep the cops busy.

1:22:06 Drew I see.

1:22:07 Adam No, what it does is it creates a record so that the next time someone reports these guys, then they really do some time.

1:22:14 Drew Yep.

1:22:15 Adam All right, Alan On, Coda Teen, Coda Alan On a Teen.

1:22:18 Drew Well, just get a therapist.

1:22:19 Adam Rita Coda, Alan on a Teen.

1:22:21 Drew And probably you're going to need some sums kind of recovery.

1:22:23 Adam Nicole. You're 22?

1:22:25 Drew Yeah.

1:22:26 Adam Your boyfriend can only get off if he watches porn or if you dress like a little girl?

1:22:35 Caller He can't get off on his own. He just can't, I mean, he can't really get hard unless he's watching people have sex or if I dress up.

1:22:45 Adam So that'd be the part where you'd go, yes.

1:22:48 Drew Adam, yes, you're right.

1:22:49 Adam Yes.

1:22:50 Caller It's just kind of...

1:22:51 Adam You know, hold on. I'm so naïve, Drew. I never get used to it. I never get used to it. I always think there's going to be a different story.

1:22:59 Drew Right. Right.

1:23:00 Adam You know what I mean? Because only on this show do you experience that phenomenon. You don't experience it in other facets of life.

1:23:08 Drew Explain to them what you just experienced. Some of our listeners may not even have caught it.

1:23:12 Adam What I mean is, is normally, like when you say to somebody, so let me get this straight. Your car backfires a lot and it stalls at red lights.

1:23:25 Drew And then my response is, no. No. No. No.

1:23:28 Adam When your response is, no, no, no. Here's what happens. You then expect to hear something else.

1:23:34 Drew Well, what you hear is, no, my car backfires and it stalls at red lights.

1:23:40 Adam And I never get used to that. So when we do it with one of our callers, I always expect to hear, I always expect to be corrected somehow or maybe the screener got the call wrong.

1:23:49 Drew Well, they usually are emphatic too. They're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's the stalls and backfires.

1:23:54 Adam Nicole was not emphatic about this. She just sort of parroted back what I said. So let me get this straight. Your boyfriend can only have an orgasm if he watches porn or if you dress up like a little girl.

1:24:05 Caller No, he can have orgasms normally. But it excites him more. I mean, he can only come if I'm on top. But I have to be dressed like a little girl.

1:24:18 Adam Oh, I see.

1:24:18 Caller Little tiny shirt.

1:24:19 Drew Oh, my God.

1:24:21 Adam OK. Oh, my God. Now I'm seeing this whole thing in a totally new light. Oh, my God. This is, Drew, hold on a second. Nicole, you've got to put you on hold, sister, because quite frankly, this is more than I was ready to deal with emotionally. I thought we had. I thought we were talking about a call where a guy could only have an orgasm if you watch porn or she dressed up like a little schoolgirl. And as it turns out, it's a completely different situation. This situation involves him only having orgasm if he watches porn or she dresses like a little girl.

1:24:53 Drew Oh, we have been misled.

1:24:55 Adam With that, hold on, Drew, what I'd like to do at this point is regroup. Because we're flying off in a thousand different directions at the speed of light. I think what we're going to do is we're going to regroup. We'll take a little time out. Drew, you and I are going to talk during the commercial break, and we'll see if we can formulate a totally new and different plan for this complex question which has just come out of left field and dumbfounded us. Okay? So let's work on this, and we'll come back with a call, and we'll get to the bottom of this new and different question, okay?

1:25:28 Drew All right, Ace.

1:25:28 Adam All right, hang on.

1:25:32 Drew Love line, LeBanachrol and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

1:26:15 Adam You're as welcome as can be.

1:26:16 Caller I'm Ace Rockolla, my good partner there, Doc Drew, and you're smack dabbing in the middle of the lightning round, right here in the fabulous Loveline. Let's check the time real quick before we hop back on the Loveline phones.

1:26:27 Adam It's 1146 straight up, that's 14 minutes away from the top of the hour, the witchin hour. 12 midnight, Dr. Drew's over in the other studio.

1:26:36 Caller I'm here at the home base, the Loveline headquarters, the Batcave, if you will.

1:26:41 Adam Let me give you a quick rundown of next week.

1:26:43 Caller We got Marty McConaughey coming in here on Sunday night. He's quite a hard actor. Frankie Stallone, brother of Sly. Sly and the family Stallone will be in here on Monday night. Then of course we got the Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo and Dolls gonna be in here on Wednesday night.

1:26:58 Adam And our favorite Save Save Save Save Some for Ferris is gonna come in on Thursday night.

1:27:03 Caller Let's check the time real quick.

1:27:04 Adam It's 1146 in 40 seconds, 13 minutes and 20 seconds away from the top of the hour straight up.

1:27:10 Caller It's right there in the middle of the line. Oh, let's hop back on the phone and speak to Ryan. Ryan's on line six. Ryan, you're 15 years old, aren't you?

1:27:23 Caller Yeah, hey.

1:27:24 Caller What's wrong there, bud?

1:27:25 Caller Oh, I sail and when I'm holding all the ropes and everything, it makes my hands very rough.

1:27:31 Caller Yeah.

1:27:32 Caller And later when I masturbate, it kind of rubs away.

1:27:36 Caller So you're saying your sail is getting away, you're seaming. Is that what you're saying, bud?

1:27:44 Caller Yeah.

1:27:45 Caller Yeah, Ryan, hold on there, bud. Let's check the time just one second.

1:27:49 Adam It's 1147 and 25 seconds.

1:27:52 Caller It's 12 minutes and 35 seconds.

1:27:54 Adam Wait.

1:27:59 Caller Ace Rockolla. Ryan, you got to use a little something called LubeReturn.

1:28:05 Adam Let's hop back on the phones and let's get to Isabel.

1:28:08 Caller Isabel?

1:28:09 Caller Hi.

1:28:10 Caller Isabel, you're 19 years old.

1:28:11 Caller What's up? Well, my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer. Actually, it wasn't recently, but she's been taking painkillers for like the last year. It's actually starting to bother me because she's been addicted to them.

1:28:24 Drew Okay. Is it starting to bother you or bother her?

1:28:27 Caller It bothers me and the whole family, and I'm the only one that actually talks about it.

1:28:31 Drew Okay.

1:28:31 Caller And I don't know what I should do because she's a nurse and she goes to work like this and she drives like this.

1:28:37 Drew That's bad news.

1:28:38 Caller Isabel, what kind of cancer does she have?

1:28:41 Caller It was pancreatic cancer. And she was diagnosed about four years ago with three weeks to live.

1:28:47 Caller Wow.

1:28:48 Drew That's amazing that she's done so well with this.

1:28:50 Caller Boy, that is a tough diagnosis. You got three weeks to live four years ago, Drew. What do you say to that?

1:28:58 Drew Did they have the right diagnosis?

1:29:01 Caller That's a good question. Isabel, the right diagnosis?

1:29:06 Caller I don't know. I mean, the doctors don't really know much about it.

1:29:08 Caller Well, is she living? Is she going to live?

1:29:11 Caller She's been living lately.

1:29:13 Drew Someone's got to confront her. You need to go to Al-Anon and sort of lay off her a little bit. But somehow you need to get some leverage and create some consequences for her. It may mean even notify her employer.

1:29:23 Caller Hey, Drusky, I hate to cut in on such a serious call, but you do have to check the time. It's 1149, straight up to 11 minutes away from the top of the hour, straight up. I drove in on a Wednesday, I was back there in the middle of the line, in the middle of the line, I made it to Ace Rockolla, that's my Friday night group.

1:29:36 Adam I like that line Isabel gave.

1:29:38 Caller She's been living lately, and living large way on. And let's hop back on the phone and speak to Sarah. Sarah's 21 years old, thinks she's allergic to pot ones and all that is possible. Sarah, what do you say, buddy?

1:29:50 Caller Well, I've been trying to get ahold of you guys for the past week.

1:29:55 Caller I wanted to know if it's normal. When I don't smoke it, first of all, it's a big no-no. When I'm around, like, if I'm out somewhere and somebody else is smoking it, I start to, like, I don't know, my lungs start to hurt me and then I...

1:30:14 Adam Sarah, let me check the time real quick.

1:30:16 Caller It's 1149 and 50 seconds.

1:30:19 Adam That's 10 minutes and 10 seconds away from the top of the hour.

1:30:24 Drew Sarah? Some people can be very sensitive to the smoke. It can induce bronchospasm and it can be uncomfortable.

1:30:29 Adam It's irritating. Stay out of Spicoli's van is what my good partner is saying. Let's hop back on the phones and speak to NateNate at 17.

1:30:38 Caller NateSter, what's up? You're on the Loveline, buddy. Good to have you.

1:30:42 Caller Hi.

1:30:44 Caller I took shrooms in December, last December, and I was wondering how long it stays in my system.

1:30:50 Drew Out within, it's gone a few hours.

1:30:52 Adam You'll crap it out as fast as you'll crap out a jelly doughnut.

1:30:55 Caller Am I right, Druski?

1:30:56 Caller Well, some of it can stay in the fat cells, but it was essentially not measurably present.

1:31:02 Adam Drew, let me check the time, but it's 11.50 and 40 seconds. That's nine minutes and 20 seconds away from the top of the hour straight up.

1:31:09 Caller You are smack dab in the middle of the light around the fastest, 18 minutes on the radio.

1:31:15 Adam I'm Ace Rockolla, my good partner, Dr. Drew. Did I mention that Marty McConaughey is coming in next week along with Frankie Stallone, the Goo Goo Goon, and all the safe, safe, safe, something for Ferris. Let's hop back on the phones. This time, we'll speak to Drew. Drew, it's your namesake.

1:31:30 Caller What do you say, buddy? You're 20. You're on Loveline.

1:31:33 Caller Hey, how are you doing? Okay, Dr. Drew. Yeah. I'm on Ritalin. I've taken it for about five years, 50 milligrams a day. The other day, I misplaced my bottle two weeks until my refill. I want to know what kind of thing I'm going to experience.

1:31:50 Drew Did you really misplace it? Did you really misplace it? Or did you just use a little too much?

1:31:55 Caller Well, I didn't. No, I didn't use too much. I didn't misplace it, though. I know where it is. I just can't get it.

1:31:59 Drew Did you give it to your friends or use too much or anything like that?

1:32:01 Caller Fell down a storm drain or something, buddy?

1:32:03 Caller No, no, no.

1:32:04 Caller It's at my friend's house, but my friend lives like 100 miles away.

1:32:07 Drew You've got to call your pharmacist and get a refill. You've got to do that.

1:32:10 Caller Hey, I've done that before, though, and I can't do that.

1:32:12 Adam Hey, Drew, buddy, this is the Ace man speaking to you.

1:32:15 Drew What time is it?

1:32:16 Adam Yeah, let me check time real quick. It's 1151 and 55 seconds. That's eight minutes and five seconds away.

1:32:29 Caller Call her, Drew?

1:32:31 Adam Listen, there's this little thing that was just invented about 150 years ago. It's called the US.

1:32:35 Caller Postal Service, buddy.

1:32:38 Adam You get your buddy to put it in a little envelope and he sends it to you and they use that next day shipping and you get it two days later.

1:32:44 Caller What do you say there, Drew?

1:32:46 Drew I'm not sure that's legal, but it sounds okay.

1:32:48 Caller Sounds like a plan to me.

1:32:50 Adam All right, should we hop on the phones?

1:32:51 Caller The old puss, the horses out of the barn, that's the old Pony Express. Lee?

1:32:57 Caller Yes?

1:32:57 Caller Lee, you're 19 years old. Thanks for calling in the show. Love to hear you, buddy.

1:33:00 Adam What's your question or comment?

1:33:02 Caller I was wondering what kind of risks there is in getting your penis pierced?

1:33:07 Drew Bleeding, infection, and irreparable damage to your soul.

1:33:10 Adam And amazing pain to the groin area.

1:33:12 Caller You're hearing us saying that?

1:33:13 Caller It'll still work though, right?

1:33:14 Caller It may, it may not.

1:33:16 Adam You're rolling the dice, buddy.

1:33:17 Drew It doesn't get infected and slough off.

1:33:20 Adam Listen, I don't need some guy who hates his parents with a couple of hoops through his nose and a shaved head with a chain link tattooed on it.

1:33:26 Caller Get near the old peckerwood. You know what I'm saying there, Drusky? I think you're on board with this shit.

1:33:31 Drew I wonder if you had been 16 today, if you would have gotten pierced.

1:33:35 Adam No.

1:33:36 Drew Oh yeah.

1:33:37 Caller Drew, Drusky.

1:33:38 Drew Oh yeah.

1:33:39 Adam Hey partner, let me tell you something about Ace Rockolla.

1:33:41 Caller His body's pristine.

1:33:43 Adam He's got no tats. He's got no piercings.

1:33:45 Caller He's got nothing on there.

1:33:47 Adam Just as God created me with a little bit of extra hair on the anus. It is 1153 in 30 seconds straight up.

1:33:54 Caller That is six minutes and 30 seconds away from the average. And I got to tell you, it's coming on next week. Marty McGovern, Frankie Stallone, the goo goo goo goo goo goobin dolls, and the save save save some for Daddy and Ferris.

1:34:07 Drew In mercifully.

1:34:08 Caller In mercifully.

1:34:09 Adam We're at the end of this show.

1:34:10 Caller And that means the end of the lightning round.

1:34:12 Adam Now listen there, kiddies, I don't want you going anywhere. I want you to hug that radio. You stick right to it because I'll tell you what, you glue yourself on there like Velcro and we're gonna be right back with more The Love Line, The Show That Cares, right after this word from our sponsors.

1:34:30 Drew The Bantamcrawler and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

1:35:05 Adam All right, well, there you go.

1:35:06 Drew Yeah, thankfully.

1:35:07 Adam Thank God I'm shooting two of those Goddamn Man shows on Saturday.

1:35:11 Drew Oh, good luck.

1:35:12 Adam I just don't know what I would do if I had a day off.

1:35:16 Drew Enjoy.

1:35:17 Adam All right, thank God I left the house at 8.30. Oh, Drew, we were killing ourselves, everybody. Me and you, we need a vacation alone. You know what I'm saying?

1:35:27 Drew We're gonna rekindle that love?

1:35:28 Adam That's right, baby. Freaking about rekindle, we are gonna burn the Goddamn house down. How gay are you? Very, very super extra gay. Okay, so I want to thank producer Ann for doing a great job all week. The beautiful, scrumptious, huggable Danielle for keeping not only the coffee warm, but the cockles of my heart heated. And of course Anderson for pushing the buttons and sliding the potentiometers and making it all happen. And of course my good partner Dr. Drew. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:03 Guest He will taste his own nut. Well now.

1:36:15 Caller Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold.

1:36:17 Caller Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Thursday, April 13, 2000