Episode 1000754887721

2:11 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

2:18 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

2:22 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

2:24 Voiceover Loveline.

2:27 Is my mic on?

2:28 Adam Yeah, it is.

2:29 Drew There we go.

2:30 Adam There we go. I know. Sometimes Anderson forgets to turn the mic on.

2:35 Drew Oh, there we go. Yeah, he's trying to tell you something. He's not forgetting anything.

2:40 Adam You know, it's great about working here. Someone forgets to turn your mic on, you make mention of it during the show, and now you're getting punished. Fantastic. All right. There's no discipline. It's a Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Facts number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight Adrian and Tom are both here from No Doubt. Guys, we haven't seen in a while, although I'm trying to think when the last time I saw Tom and Adrian was. I know I saw somebody. I saw both of you maybe at Darren's wedding from Goldfinger, right?

3:20 No Doubt At the Sportsman's Lodge.

3:21 Adam Oh, yes. Cash bar. I was talking about that last night. Darren called in five minutes later crying. But the truth, the truth can hurt. No Doubt, we had in here. Oh, we had a little debacle about five years ago, four and a half years ago.

3:38 Drew Five years ago, yep.

3:39 Adam When was that?

3:39 Drew Five years ago, just when we started in this studio, really. The syndicate show.

3:42 Adam Was it? Ricky was here, right?

3:44 Drew Yeah, I think so.

3:45 Adam So, we're talking over four and a half years ago. At that time, Tragic Kingdom had been out for like a year, I think, right?

3:55 No Doubt Just came out.

3:56 Adam Did it just come out? I thought it was out for a little while, and it just got hot. Wasn't Tragic Kingdom out for eight or nine months, and then it got hot?

4:06 Yeah, it took about a year. But when we were here, it was, I think, right around Thanksgiving of 95.

4:10 Drew You want to hear something more bizarre about the history of No Doubt on K-Rock. Is they doing this behind the music show?

4:16 Adam Right.

4:16 Drew The only footage they could find from their early days was on Loveline.

4:21 Adam Photograph footage or just video footage?

4:24 Drew I don't remember there being a camera there when you guys were there. But was it like a hand held? Somebody was-

4:28 No Doubt We weren't in the picture.

4:30 Drew Oh, it was just old footage of what?

4:31 No Doubt Old footage of yourself and poor man.

4:35 Drew How funny.

4:36 Adam Have you guys seen the behind the music yet?

4:38 No Doubt Yes.

4:40 Adam How do you like it, by the way? I haven't seen it yet.

4:43 It's pretty good.

4:45 Adam It's coming out Thursday and Friday, right? Is that right?

4:48 Sunday. It's going to be out Thursday and Friday this week.

4:51 Adam I see. I love that show. It's like a heroine. You ever watch that?

4:55 Drew The only last one I saw was with you and it was about the mamas and the papas.

4:58 Adam I know, but I don't even like the mamas and the papas. We're riveted, right?

5:01 Drew We watched it three times.

5:02 Adam I would watch one. If they did one on the Country Bear Jamboree, on the animatronic bears, I would watch the thing. I swear to God. It's something so interesting. No matter whether you're a band, an actor, an inventor, whatever you are, there's something about that starting from this point, getting to that point, then always. But you guys haven't fallen apart. Why did they do a story about you?

5:27 I don't know. We've been together for 13 years, so there's enough history there. We've gone through some weird stuff.

5:32 Adam Yeah. But usually, somebody has to OD and die, or the wheels, plane crash, bus accident. I mean, the wheels really have to come off the wagon. Is there something I don't know about?

5:44 No Doubt We were definitely questioning it ourselves about, you know, are we interesting enough? Has there been enough drama in our career? But I think they did a really good job with it.

5:54 Adam All right. Well, I can't wait to see it. Let me also give a few plugs. Return of Saturn is the name of the CD, which is currently out, just out. Again, the Behind the Music coming up, and Virgin Megastore performance with no date on it. But when is that?

6:12 No Doubt That's tomorrow, and we're encouraging everyone that doesn't have a wristband not to show up because they will not be able to see the performance.

6:20 Adam Wait, somebody's waving their arms frantically in the background.

6:23 Drew Screaming at you.

6:26 Adam They should come anyway? No, they shouldn't come. Okay. Don't come if you don't have a wristband. How many wristbands did you give out?

6:34 No Doubt 1100.

6:34 Adam Oh, that's nice. And they went like hotcakes, and they're all out of them, right? Yes. And it's the Virgin Megastore, I'm guessing, on Sunset and Crescent Heights?

6:43 No Doubt No, it's down at Costa Mesa at Triangle Square.

6:45 Adam Well, same place. But don't go unless you have one of those wristbands. How did they give those wristbands out? Did people get in line, or was it a lottery, or how does that work?

6:56 I have no idea.

6:58 No Doubt I think there was a long line the night before the record came out at midnight. People were around the Virgin Megastore, and then they were giving out wristbands then.

7:07 Adam Tom, are you still playing Dr. Bruce's Triumph Triangle guitar?

7:13 Dr. Bruce has a great guitar collection. I haven't seen that guy in a while, but...

7:16 Adam Yeah, he's in prison.

7:18 Oh, yeah.

7:18 Drew No, no, no.

7:20 I've heard him on here a few times. I have a couple of his old Fender Basement apps. He's a good guy.

7:24 Adam But weren't... Didn't he give you at some point... Didn't he hook up with you and get a guitar to you?

7:31 He gave me a couple of guitars, a Les Paul and an SG, and I had them for months and months.

7:36 Adam And did you play them in concert?

7:38 I think I may have used some of them actually in the studio, but never in concert. I can't play a Les Paul. I can only play Explorers and Vs.

7:44 Adam All right. Well, don't tell him that. It would break his heart. That's his claim to fame that you played his triangle guitar. I thought that was his guitar for some reason. Maybe it's because he told me. All right. So we'll hear something off the... Does Gwen still hate me?

7:59 She hasn't said anything about that.

8:01 Drew The answer is yes.

8:01 Adam The answer is yes.

8:03 No Doubt Do you see her here?

8:05 Adam That's a very, very valid point. We had a little mix-up last time she was in here.

8:09 No Doubt Everything's fine. Next.

8:11 Drew All right.

8:13 Adam All right. Now, who was that? Fiona Apple?

8:14 Drew By the way, she sort of has joined an illustrious crowd of people that hate Adam.

8:18 Adam Oh.

8:19 Drew It's not a mark of distinction or anything.

8:21 Adam Yeah.

8:21 Drew Just line up.

8:22 Adam Move over, Mom. Move over, Dad. Gwen Stefani's in the... She's throwing her hat in the ring, too.

8:27 You know, Gwen's not much of a hater, actually.

8:30 Adam No. You know what? I know we had a little spat, but she's a very, very nice person. And you know the thing that makes me very even-handed, Drew?

8:41 Drew Yeah.

8:41 Adam I can get into arguments with people or have a dispute with people and still recognize they're decent people. I know that makes me an a-hole.

8:47 Drew You're right. You can make them feel like crap, but...

8:51 Adam I still know the difference between good people and bad people, and just because you don't like me doesn't make you a bad person.

8:55 Drew That's right. Right.

8:56 Adam And it could be an argument for making you a good person.

8:58 Drew Yeah. Yep. Yep.

8:59 Adam Thank you. All right. Heather?

9:03 Yeah.

9:03 Adam You're 22.

9:04 Caller What's up?

9:05 Well, I'm kind of torn at the moment. I am kind of seeing this girl. I was dating her. I broke up with her when she told me she wanted to see a guy along with me.

9:16 Drew Along with you?

9:17 Yeah. She told me she wanted to stay with me.

9:20 Drew Where were you?

9:21 Surrupt our relationship. What could he join? And I wasn't too keen on that. So I broke up with her and I still see her all the time because I really like her.

9:29 Caller Yeah.

9:29 And my ex-boyfriend just came back into town. He had left state when I broke up with him. And he had found out that we were together because she is his ex-girlfriend.

9:39 Caller Oh, jeez. All right.

9:40 Adam You all have to kill yourselves. And just start over. Yes. Put yourself in the ground and hopefully something good will grow.

9:47 Drew What's your question?

9:48 Right. I don't know what to do because I still have feelings for him. But I really, really like this girl.

9:54 Drew Why did he leave the state?

9:57 She's pregnant right now by one of two guys. She was the guy before me or the guy that she wanted to see with me.

10:03 Drew And the F is going on with Heather. And where do we begin?

10:06 Adam I don't know. Heather.

10:08 Caller Yeah.

10:10 Adam What is up? What's with the Jerry Springer lifestyle? You're leading here.

10:14 She said that I could take him right off the network if they put me on the show. I mean, I live in one bedroom apartment, two other people, my brother who just said he's bisexual, and this girl.

10:22 Adam All right. So what happened to you growing up?

10:24 Drew You and your brother had a pretty tough time growing up, huh?

10:27 Yeah.

10:27 Drew Oh, yeah.

10:28 Very confused people, I guess.

10:30 Drew Yeah.

10:31 But I don't know what to do. Like, I was going to play this for her tomorrow to show her, because I'm unable to really speak to her.

10:37 Adam This tape?

10:38 I was going to record it later.

10:40 Drew What's her name?

10:40 Adam What do you mean later? You're calling in in the 11 o'clock hour?

10:44 Drew What's her name?

10:45 No, tomorrow when I see her.

10:47 Drew What's her name?

10:48 Laura.

10:49 Drew Laura. Laura, run!

10:52 Adam Drew rarely gives that advice.

10:55 Oh, that sucks.

10:56 Adam All right. Hey, Heather?

10:57 Drew Yeah.

10:58 Adam Listen, I know you grew up in a very chaotic environment, and now you're hell bent on keeping that chaos alive, but could you just sort of get off the chaos S-wagon for a second and take a breath?

11:08 Drew There's a child involved here. Get out of that woman's life. That's a lot of chaos that's going to be worse when the kid involved. You're only going to add to that child's. God knows what that child's going to be brought in.

11:19 I have a child, too.

11:20 Drew Oh, my God.

11:20 Adam It should be taken away.

11:23 Okay.

11:24 Adam If raccoons raised it, it'd have a better chance.

11:27 Drew It's living in the one bedroom apartment with the other three people? I'm not raising her. Oh, it's got to be taken away. I see her. I'm not raising her.

11:34 Adam Okay, good. Well, yeah, but who's raising? Family?

11:37 Drew Yes.

11:37 Adam No!

11:39 Adam Please. I'd rather have Satan's caddy raise that child. Okay. All right. Heather, no more kids. Whatever substances you're on, get off them. And I rarely say this, but find Jesus Christ. Can you do that? I know he's in prison, but he may have gotten out. Everyone who goes to prison seems to find Jesus, but I think he made a break for it. And he may be on the lam, so you may be able to find him.

12:02 Drew It says here your ex-boyfriend is an alcoholic. Is that right?

12:04 Yeah, that's why I left him.

12:05 Adam All right. Heather, just...

12:07 Drew That's not changed, has it?

12:08 Adam No. Okay.

12:09 Drew Well, Heather's... I was hoping it would have, but it hasn't changed.

12:12 Adam Heather, here, because we're out of time with you, here's what you need to do. Anything you want to do, don't do it.

12:19 Caller Okay.

12:19 Adam Okay.

12:20 Caller I'm thinking do opposite.

12:21 Adam Do the opposite. Yes, do the opposite.

12:23 Drew Do nothing.

12:23 Adam Well, yeah, but she's thinking about something, so the opposite will be nothing. You understand? Yeah. All right. All right, Heather, please. Keep yourself out of trouble and don't get pregnant. Stop acting out. All right?

12:36 Drew We just need to decide what her sexual orientation is to. This back and forth stuff is going to be crazy.

12:41 Adam Listen, as we've learned from this show, you scramble your kids early and that's it. I mean, it's like we always use this metaphor, but you have sort of an antenna to get you through life, and when someone smashes that antenna, when alcoholic dad or pedophile uncle ruins, bends that antenna of yours, that's it. You just go through. It's like you're ship out in a storm and you have no radar. So you're just banging up against the rocks for the rest of your life. David? David?

13:09 Yes.

13:09 Adam You're 21.

13:10 Caller Yes.

13:11 Adam What's up?

13:12 Caller I was just wondering about having sex in a chlorinated pool would kill the sperm or deteriorate a condom or what?

13:22 Adam It does screw up the condom.

13:24 Drew It doesn't do anything to sperm though.

13:25 It doesn't do anything to sperm?

13:27 Drew Sperm just love that water.

13:30 Adam Well, what do you mean though? I mean.

13:32 Caller Okay.

13:33 Drew Let's put it this way. How many times have I mentioned jacuzzis or swimming pools as a means of contraception?

13:39 Caller I don't know. I just started this in about six months ago.

13:41 Adam What if he rubs a little diatomaceous earth on the end of his penis? Would that act as a barrier?

13:45 Drew It forms a nice plug, maybe.

13:47 Adam Hey David?

13:48 Caller Yeah.

13:48 Adam But you're in your girlfriend, right?

13:51 Caller Yeah.

13:51 Adam It's not like you just whacked off on a raft or something and then she swam in the pool that the raft was in. You're in it, right?

13:59 Caller Yes.

13:59 Adam All right. Well, she can get pregnant.

14:01 Caller Of course, yeah.

14:03 No Doubt I'm confused, though, because if Therese emerged under water, her vagina will fill up with water and lubrication deteriorates, right?

14:13 Drew It's a problem, yeah, but people can do that still, they're okay.

14:15 No Doubt Really?

14:16 Drew Yeah. It can screw with the condom a little bit.

14:18 No Doubt I've had poor luck at that.

14:20 Adam Yeah.

14:20 Drew It's not easy.

14:21 Adam I put the condom on in the pool and then go by the air jet and get myself a little shot and fill up the condom, really blow it out like a Macy's Day float.

14:30 Drew While you're still in her?

14:32 Adam Oh, no. Before I get in.

14:33 Drew Before I get in.

14:33 Adam Yeah. Very nice.

14:35 Drew Impress the ladies.

14:36 Adam That's right. There's nothing. There's nothing that turns a woman on like the belching of the condom before it goes in. All right. So everyone can get pregnant wherever you are. That's our message. Robert?

14:46 Yes.

14:47 Adam You're 17. You're on with half of No Doubt.

14:50 Caller Yes. I have a question. This is not the first time it's happened, but my girl, my brother's girlfriend, is we've been started having sex lately and my brother's, me and my brother are 20 months apart and they're, him and his girlfriend are 15 and for some reason his girlfriends start to become more attracted to me sexually and everything. So should I tell my brother or just let it lie like the other ones or what?

15:24 Drew The other ones?

15:26 Caller Yeah. It's happened once before. It happened six months ago.

15:29 Drew And when you say she's more attracted to you, you respond to that?

15:33 Caller Well I mean at first, I mean both of them have started off like you know real shallow hints and everything else and then you know like when my brother's.

15:41 Drew Robert, do you respond to them?

15:45 Adam Well he says he's screwing around with her.

15:47 Drew Doesn't he? He's never come out with that yet.

15:50 Caller Yeah well we're having sex you know.

15:52 Drew Okay well that's what I was asking.

15:53 Caller I don't even think my brother in hers had sex.

15:56 Drew That's nice. Normally I would think this is a totally bogus call but Robert's freaking me out enough to believe it.

16:02 Adam Hey Robert. Yes. Why this has happened before with your brother's girlfriends?

16:08 Drew One time he said.

16:09 Caller One time.

16:10 Adam You had sex with another one of your brother's girlfriends?

16:13 Caller Well we had oral sex.

16:15 Adam Oh I see that doesn't count. Did he find out about it?

16:18 Caller No.

16:18 Drew That's his question, should he let this one slide just like that one?

16:21 Adam Yeah I think you should. Well listen stop having sex with her. Hey Robert, I know it's real funny, but your brother will find out and he'll probably try to kill you in your sleep.

16:34 Caller Well yeah true.

16:36 Caller He does have a temper.

16:37 Adam Yeah and I'm guessing you were raised in an environment where there's lots of like farm equipment and stuff that he could stab you with. You could go out to the shed and get a hoe or sickle or something, something rusty, something he put in you. Well yeah. Alright Robert. Hey Robert, let me explain something. Alright. You don't really account for this when you're young, but you can do stuff to your brothers and sisters where they'll hate your guts for like the rest of their lives. I mean 20 years, 50 years, you know what I mean? I mean if you banged around with your kid or your brother's boyfriend or girlfriend pardon me once or twice, that's enough for him to hate you for many, many, many years to come. And I know it doesn't seem like such a big deal when you're 17, but later on in life at like reunions and holidays and things like that, it kind of comes back to haunt you. Like I bet my sister wishes she'd never stab me with that crocheting needle.

17:35 Drew You want to tell us a little story?

17:36 Adam No, I'm just, that was the story. That was it. I was thinking if I could get a rise out of you guys. Crystal. Drew, that's good radio, by the way, where you just sit there and look at me for a while. Crystal, you're 17. Yeah. I can't believe we get paid the same amount, Drew.

17:49 Drew Nothing wrong with dramatic and pregnant pauses.

17:53 Adam That's right.

17:53 Drew Don't be afraid of silence, Adam Corolla.

17:54 Adam All right. You better be afraid of it because if I shut up, you're going off the air. Crystal.

17:59 Thank God for Dr. Drew. He didn't want it. Not Dr. Adam. I don't see a doctor in front of your name, Mr. Big Mouth.

18:05 Adam Oh, my God. David Allen Grier is never coming back on this show. Crystal?

18:10 Yeah.

18:10 Adam You're 17. What's up?

18:12 Caller Well, I think I might be pregnant. I haven't had my period for two months and my boyfriend that I'm with, he's the only other one that knows. I was wondering if there would be a possible way that I could get an abortion without anybody knowing.

18:27 Drew Yeah. Pretty much you're entitled to that the way things are in this country right now.

18:31 Caller One of my friends told me that when you got an abortion that you had to have a parent's consent or an adult's consent.

18:38 Drew I don't believe that's true.

18:40 Adam I don't think you do at 17. What state are you calling from?

18:44 Texas.

18:45 Adam Oh, hell no. They don't have laws there.

18:47 Drew Have you tried calling Planned Parenthood?

18:50 Yeah.

18:51 Drew And what do they say?

18:56 Well, they just...

18:58 Adam She's worse than you are, Drew. Yeah?

19:01 Drew What do they say?

19:04 Caller They just said that I wouldn't...

19:10 Adam All right. I'm going to go take a leak, Drew. When you find out what Planned Parenthood said, call me. I'll be in the bathroom, all right?

19:16 Drew Crystal?

19:17 Caller Yeah.

19:18 Drew What did they say?

19:20 Adam Crystal, you understand you're on earth and on the radio and there's a phone up to your mouth, right?

19:25 Caller Yeah.

19:26 Adam Okay. Here we go. You talked to Planned Parenthood and they said...

19:31 Caller That I shouldn't be having a baby right now.

19:35 Drew Oh, she's just making this up.

19:36 Adam I know. Crystal?

19:38 Caller Yes.

19:38 Adam You didn't call Planned Parenthood. Or you're making this whole story up.

19:43 Caller I'm not making this story up.

19:44 Adam Oh, thank God, because you'd be the world's worst liar. And you did call Planned Parenthood or you didn't? I'm going with no.

19:52 Caller No.

19:52 Adam No, you didn't. All right. That's fine.

19:54 Drew Call them.

19:55 Adam Call Planned Parenthood.

19:56 Drew Okay.

19:57 Adam Okay. And next time stop jacking us off for an hour and a half when you figure out whether you're called Planned Parenthood or not, would you? Jesus Christ. And by the way, people, if you're going to lie, please lie. You stalling, the stalling is not a great tactic when it comes to lying. I mean, you know, we do that.

20:18 Drew Some, some.

20:19 Adam We do this all the time. I'll give you a loveline answer. Just ask one of those questions. Is your dad an alcoholic? Are we ever raped? Would you shut up and ask? Give me a beat here. All right, go ahead.

20:30 Drew Are we ever abused?

20:35 Adam No.

20:35 Drew Did dad hit you when you were growing up?

20:43 Adam What?

20:45 Drew No. Did my dad hit me?

20:46 Adam Did my dad hit me? Listen, when you give a good 55 count in between answering the question and the question being asked, it usually implies some guilt. So it's all right. You didn't call Planned Parenthood and just call them. Call them tomorrow. And I don't believe. They told me I shouldn't be having a baby.

21:11 Drew 1-800-230-PLAN, 230-PLAN.

21:14 Adam All right. Drew, you got an arrow pointed up on the screen where there is no call. Do we want to hear No Doubt song?

21:22 Drew Yes, do that.

21:22 All right.

21:23 Drew Good thinking.

21:24 Adam All right. You got it queued up there, Anderson? Yes. This is from No Doubt. This is called Ex-Girlfriend.

25:07 No Doubt This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

25:11 Adam We'll be right back. Yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Adrian and Tom are both here from No Doubt. We heard something off the new CD. We'll hear something else off the new CD before the night is through. And Behind the Music coming up. I always see it in its reruns or whenever. When does Behind the Music originally air? Sunday nights?

26:16 No Doubt Yes. They're going to show it Thursday and Friday this week.

26:20 Adam All right. Is that at 8? It comes on at all different times. What time is that on? Do you know?

26:25 No Doubt I don't know. Check the local listings.

26:27 Adam All right. We're in here. We're not going to be able to see it.

26:30 No Doubt All right.

26:31 Adam Maybe Friday I can see it. And as far as checking local listings, I never do that anymore. Does anyone do that? Do you have a TV guide? Do you look at the paper?

26:39 Drew That's what TiVo is for.

26:40 Adam I got to get that TiVo. You got that TiVo?

26:43 Adam I got to get me one of the TiVo things. All right. And Matthew McConaughey will be in here on Sunday. Well, he's a big star. That's nice. Theoretically, I'm going to his... When's that movie premiere in? Is that tomorrow? 21st. Wait a minute. I thought it was... All right. Well, anyway. All right. I'll get back on the phones. Before we get back on the phones, let me just tell you what I did today.

27:06 Drew Oh, please. Tell us.

27:07 Adam I wrote the government a check for $254,000.

27:11 No Doubt Oh, good for you.

27:13 Adam Thank you.

27:13 No Doubt All right.

27:14 Adam Thank you very much.

27:15 Drew Think of all the goods that will get you.

27:16 Adam Yeah.

27:17 Drew Your own trash man.

27:18 Adam Trash man still comes at 6.15 in the morning. And God forbid I toss a hefty bag out there. He ain't getting out of his truck for nothing.

27:26 Drew By the way, if you're literally a millionaire, how come it's only 240?

27:29 Adam Well, first of all, it was 254, wise ass. And secondly, that was just one installment. You know what I love about me, or living in the United States is I have never gotten welfare, never gotten unemployment, never got a grant. When I signed up to be a fireman, they told me I had to wait five years because I was a honky. I don't have any kids in schools. Lord knows I've never used the libraries. I've never called 911. I've never called the fire department. I've never ran over a stop sign or knocked over a fire hydrant. I've never used the government for anything ever in my entire life. I just got done paying them $254,000 and you know what? They need more. That ain't enough.

28:13 Caller You better start knocking over a...

28:15 Adam I better start using stuff.

28:16 No Doubt I don't see you leaving.

28:18 Adam I know. I should. I should go to Canada and start my own sex colony.

28:22 Drew Where there's no taxes.

28:23 Adam That's right. But still, still at least some sort of grant or something, something. At least I should get my garbage picked up. Shouldn't I? If I throw one of those hefty bags out front, shouldn't they get out of the truck and throw that in the car for $254,000?

28:37 Drew I led a discussion group with some adolescents yesterday afternoon and somehow you came up and they went, he's makes so much money. I don't like that. I don't like him anymore.

28:44 He makes too much money.

28:45 Adam Kiss my ass, you little punks. I don't care. You know why? I don't need you. I'll buy new friends. That's right. Robert, you're 21. What's up?

28:57 Caller All right. Here's the scoop, man. My girlfriend and I just like out of, I guess you could say we had a wild hair. We had a threesome with a friend of ours, a guy friend. Of course, I didn't do nothing with him, K.

29:11 No Doubt Of course not.

29:12 Caller Yeah, Robert.

29:15 Adam Boys, your ear killing you.

29:16 Caller Yeah. So anyway, my girlfriend liked it. After it happened, I got really pissed and left.

29:25 Drew Yeah, surprise.

29:26 Caller Still happening.

29:26 Caller Yeah.

29:28 Adam Did they keep going when you left?

29:30 Caller What's that?

29:30 Adam Did they keep going when you left?

29:32 Caller Yeah.

29:33 Adam Did he yell, get me a beer and a towel?

29:35 Caller No.

29:36 Drew Didn't that feel awful?

29:38 Caller So anyway-

29:38 Drew Robert, didn't that feel awful?

29:40 Caller Actually, it did, yeah.

29:42 Drew It is always, often, well, always some feelings like that from somebody.

29:46 Adam Especially when you leave and he's still, he's like, hey, shut the door and get me some Kleenex.

29:51 Caller A pretty good friend of mine.

29:52 Drew That's sick.

29:53 Caller It was like-

29:54 Adam All right, but-

29:55 Caller You know, there was a lot after that.

29:57 Adam Well, what about it, Robert?

29:58 Caller So anyway, what I want to know, though, is it, you know, I don't know, I think it's every guy's dream, you know?

30:05 Adam Yeah, to have a threesome, but that's with two women and you.

30:09 Drew I mean, you're gay.

30:10 Adam What about a fivesome, four guys in your girlfriend? Wouldn't that be even better?

30:14 Drew And typically, those sorts of fantasies should not be sort of acted out in a context of a relationship. The relationship won't make it as you're finding out.

30:22 Caller But see, yeah, that's the thing, though, is, you know, I mean, at one time I got her to agree to doing it with a girl.

30:28 Drew Here's Robert's thinking. If he balances the scale out, the relationship will be finding it.

30:33 Adam Hey, Robert, listen, this thing is over and it was over the day you decided to involve your friend, not because your friend got involved, but because you decided to get your friend involved.

30:43 No Doubt That's right.

30:44 Adam I mean, I don't want to get too philosophical here, but think about it. You have a girlfriend, you're theoretically in love, and then you decide, hey, what if my friend banged her too while I watched and hung out or we both had sex with her? How in love with her are you when you're inviting your friends to climb on board?

31:06 No Doubt Especially if he outlasts you, and then you're just watching, and then you're just limping, you're an idiot.

31:11 Adam Yeah. I appreciate the part about the fantasy and the threesome, but it's supposed to be the two playmate twins and you, not your buddy who works down the assembly line at the John Deere factory.

31:24 No Doubt He decided to have a guy, but he's not gay, come in as a third party.

31:28 Adam Yeah. I'm saying he wanted to end this thing. That's why he brought him in. He doesn't know it, but he wanted to. Thank you.

31:35 Drew I think he was angling, he was investing in the future, two women with one guy. Right. Okay. If I deal with two guys, then okay.

31:43 Adam Okay. Quiet. Mike, you're 26. What's up?

31:46 Caller Yeah. I got a question for Adrian.

31:48 No Doubt Yes, sir.

31:48 Caller I'm a big fan of your magazine, Shwing Man. It's a good magazine.

31:51 No Doubt That's right. Golf.

31:52 Caller How did you get into starting that magazine up?

31:56 No Doubt A friend of mine, Joe Escalani from The Vandals, came up with the idea and the name Shwing. The idea was basically to have a golf magazine that had a lot of women, a lot of tattoos, a lot of rock and roll, a lot of punk rock and just lifestyles of young people that like to play golf. There's a lot of them out there. There's no other magazine like it, so why not? It's an establishment sport that's often viewed as a older white upper class thing and we're breaking down all the barriers.

32:27 Adam Are you really into golf, Adrian? Yes. Are you good?

32:31 No Doubt I'm an eight handicap.

32:32 Adam Wow, that's good.

32:33 No Doubt Pretty good.

32:34 Adam Wow.

32:34 No Doubt Thanks.

32:36 Adam Yeah, you know, we just, me and Jimmy, oh, from The Man Show, which is on right now on Comedy Central, by the way, we just did a, went and played a round of golf with, I think, Extreme Golf or some other golf, some new golf magazine done by whoever the hell does it.

32:52 Caller That magazine is no good. Yeah.

32:54 Adam Yeah, Swing is a good one. But the point is, is we, we sucked, but thankfully the writer sucked too. We thought, hey, the guy's riding for a golf magazine. He must know what he's doing. He was out there in tennis shoes, duffing it up worse than we were. As a matter of fact, we were so bad, we had like two hours because it was the Academy Awards, whatever I had to go to, and we played like a whole and a half. That's bad.

33:18 Caller All right.

33:18 Adam So, Swing is the, is the new, Swing Golf Mag. New Golf Mag.

33:23 Caller Manage a good magazine.

33:24 No Doubt Thank you. And one, one thing to reiterate is that we still say respect the game.

33:29 Caller Right, yeah. Yeah.

33:30 No Doubt Don't screw up the golf course. Play by the rules. Have fun with it.

33:34 Adam That's right. The guy we were playing with, the guy who wrote the article on us, we asked him what the craziest thing he ever did on a golf course is. Actually, that was one of the questions he asked us for the article. We haven't done too many crazy things on a golf course. I was like, I don't know, took a leak or something like that. I was like, what's the craziest thing you ever did? He said, took a crap in one of the holes. Are you kidding me? The guy was like, absolutely. I said, wow, that is awesome. He's like, yeah.

34:04 Drew Unacceptable.

34:04 Adam He was like 15 years old. Basically, it's like a 400-yard hole. He hops over the fence, runs on the golf course, takes a dump in the hole, puts a flag right back on it. Can you imagine the guy's putting out? Hopefully, someone birdied and they didn't pull the pin before.

34:22 Drew Was it a dare? Were you pissed at the people who were playing in that hole?

34:26 Adam You're very impulsive when you're young. Did he pull the flag out? I think he pulled the flag and may have planted it back in there, but I thought, wow.

34:36 Drew Unacceptable.

34:37 Adam I thought, that is impressive, very impressive. I kept thinking, I wish I thought of that.

34:43 Drew Think of the illustrious career as guys like that have, though.

34:45 Adam Now he's writing for some rag, as it turns out. Alyssa?

34:52 Yeah.

34:53 Adam You're 17. What's up?

34:55 Caller Well, when me and my boyfriend first started going out, we were like a few months after we started going out, we had sex three times a week, and now I don't want to have sex at all, maybe once a month.

35:10 Drew How long have you been seeing him?

35:11 Caller Almost a year.

35:13 Drew Are you still in this relationship?

35:15 Caller Huh?

35:15 Drew Are you still in this relationship?

35:16 Caller Yeah. I love him. It's just I'm not into it, you know?

35:19 Adam Yeah.

35:20 Drew I love him. I'm not into it, though.

35:23 Adam Usually when you're not into the sex, it usually is a woman, it's you're not into the guy that much. You don't think that could be it?

35:32 Caller I don't know. Well, I still don't know.

35:34 Adam Yeah, I know. But the thing about being a 17-year-old woman is you're always in love, but you're not in love. I love you, but I'm not in love with you. I love you like a brother, I love you like a friend. Women always have like 150 kinds of love. They have a certain love for their cat, a certain love for the mailman. It's ridiculous. Guys just have love, and that's about it. You have a bond with him, you have a connection with him, but you may not be in love with him.

36:00 Drew You don't want to lose that. You don't want to lose anything is the problem.

36:04 Caller I am afraid of losing him.

36:05 Drew Right, right. It's part of being 17 also is not knowing when and how to end a relationship.

36:11 Adam But your body is telling you something. You know what I mean? Men's bodies don't tell them that much. My body tells me when I have an erection, when I have gas. Those are the two things. All right? Yeah. It's telling you, you may have time to move on. Okay. All right. Well, that was easy. All right. Break up with him. She's, like, hanging up the phone.

36:36 No Doubt She beaches the punch.

36:37 Adam That was pretty easy because she was on the air for a minute and 45 seconds, and 30 seconds into the call, she's like, I'm madly in love with this guy. Drew and I pounced on her for about 15, 20 seconds. She's like, yeah, you're right.

36:50 Caller It's over.

36:52 Adam I'm living a lie. It was done six months ago. But it's true. You get into a relationship at 15 or 16. It goes on for a year and you're just you're just going.

37:03 Drew You can't ever get out. It's part of who you are now.

37:06 Adam Yeah. Drew, you want to tell a story?

37:09 Drew No.

37:10 Adam No?

37:10 Drew Too painful.

37:13 Adam You still love her, don't you?

37:14 Drew No, exactly.

37:15 Adam All right.

37:17 Caller They should teach that in school. They've got to break up.

37:19 Drew Yeah. When?

37:21 Adam Well, they should teach you the signs, just like they sort of teach you the signs for infections that come on, or venereal diseases, or when you're not getting enough calcium or iron, or whatever the hell it is. You know what I'm saying?

37:35 Drew Yeah. And it should be also, don't try to resurrect it at that point.

37:39 Adam Right.

37:39 Drew Because the other thing, if it's always in trouble, we'll have to salvage it.

37:42 Adam We'll have to rekindle the flame. Well, men, it's kind of hard to tell. They usually just start trying to bang around with other people. But women, you'll know it because you'll stop wanting to have sex with someone who used to have a lot of sex with. And if it's for no good reason, then that's it.

37:59 Drew And no good reason meaning the guy hasn't offended you, he's still available to you, you don't have a history of abuse in your past, which is the other reason that happens.

38:07 Adam Right, right, right, right. Nathaniel.

38:11 Caller Yeah.

38:11 Adam You're 14.

38:12 Caller Yeah, I just want to give props to No Doubt. Also, I was wondering, Adrian, what kind of drums do you use now?

38:19 No Doubt I use Orange County Drum and Percussion.

38:22 Caller Okay, I was just wondering what kind of stuff because I'm getting into drumming.

38:25 No Doubt I highly recommend it. I love them.

38:27 Caller Okay.

38:29 No Doubt Are you from Canada?

38:30 Caller No.

38:31 No Doubt You said No Doubt.

38:32 Caller What?

38:32 No Doubt You said No Doubt.

38:35 Caller No, California.

38:36 No Doubt Really?

38:37 Adam Oh, you just smoke a lot of weed?

38:39 Caller No, I've never smoked weed.

38:40 Caller I've never tried anything.

38:41 Adam Where did you get that New Doubt?

38:43 Caller I have no idea.

38:44 Adam All right. Say No Doubt again.

38:46 Caller No Doubt.

38:47 Adam Yeah. He's got that Canadian. Is your dad Canadian?

38:50 Caller No.

38:51 No Doubt I'm blaming Canada.

38:52 Adam Minnesota. No one's from Minnesota? No. You watch a lot of hockey?

38:56 Caller No.

38:57 Drew Ice fishing?

38:58 No Doubt Do you have a mullet?

38:59 Caller What?

39:00 No Doubt Do you have a mullet?

39:01 Adam Do you sport the mullet?

39:02 Caller No.

39:03 Adam All right.

39:03 No Doubt Okay.

39:04 Adam Well, we're out of answers.

39:05 Caller Tom, I got to interview you at the Edge. Oh, yeah.

39:09 Caller Hey, what's up?

39:10 Caller How much?

39:11 Caller No mullet. I remember you.

39:12 Caller Yeah.

39:13 Adam Hey, what? How much is a good? How much is a decent drum set cost to get started?

39:18 No Doubt A decent drum set.

39:20 Adam It's just decent, not going on tour.

39:22 No Doubt Drums, hardware, and symbols for a basic kit, $1,500 to $2,000.

39:28 Adam That's just a decent.

39:30 No Doubt Decent.

39:30 Caller No, dude, you have expensive terms.

39:32 Adam I'm not talking about one of the Grateful Dead's setup or Tommy Lee or something.

39:35 No Doubt I'm saying when you get into hardware and symbols and drums, it's...

39:39 Adam I know, I know, but I'm talking about, like, let's say you got some kidneys 11 years old and you want to set them up, but not with a piece of junk, you know, not like the one that little Ricky played in I Love Lucy.

39:50 No Doubt You could get away, if you go through the Recycler, say here in Southern California, you could probably do it for about $600 or $700 used for something decent for an 11 year old. That's how I bought most of my drums when I was scraping by Recycler magazine.

40:05 Adam Yeah. When did you get your first drum set?

40:08 No Doubt When I was 18 years old.

40:10 Adam Wow. That late?

40:11 No Doubt Yeah.

40:11 Adam Why so late?

40:13 No Doubt I don't know. I asked my parents for a drum set when I was 18 and then a year later I was in No Doubt.

40:18 Drew Oh my God.

40:18 Adam Wow. I should have asked my parents for a drum set. What? You didn't have any, you didn't want to play before that at 16 or 17?

40:27 No Doubt I wanted to play for many years and just never had the opportunity.

40:30 Drew You had one year of training and then went to band?

40:33 Adam Did you play in school? But the band back then was like a band in training, right?

40:37 No Doubt Well, they were all much better musicians than, say, myself who had only been playing a year.

40:42 No Doubt Right.

40:42 No Doubt I was struggling when I got into the band.

40:44 Adam But you're better at golf than they are, right?

40:46 No Doubt Yeah.

40:47 No Doubt All right.

40:47 Adam Well, that's what counts.

40:48 No Doubt I'm a better golfer than I am a drummer.

40:50 Adam There you go.

40:51 No Doubt All right.

40:52 Adam Oh no, you're not. All right.

40:54 No Doubt Let's tee it up.

40:55 Adam We'll take a little break and no, no, I suck. I have such a slice that I actually aim like sideways when I tee off, but the ball will pull back onto the fairway. So I was a certain genius to it. All right. We'll take a little break. No doubt to see her and we'll be back after this. Loveline. We'll be right back. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Adrian and Tom are both here from No Doubt. Return of Saturn is the name of the CD. Let me give you a little heads up on some tickets that are gonna go on this, on sale this weekend, I believe, for No Doubt Concerts in cities that we're in. In Dallas, they're going on. In Atlanta, they'll be going on sale this weekend. That'll be, oh man, these are going on sale pretty far in advance of the date. That's June 5th in Dallas, June 9th in Atlanta. It'll be June 12th in Virginia Beach. It'll be the 15th of June in Baltimore. And the 16th of July in, oops, sorry, 15th of July in Denver. And then Sacramento on the 25th. And Berkeley, California on the 28th. Oh, you guys, I'm looking at this tour schedule. This is crazy.

42:57 No Doubt That's going to be the most fun, touring the states in the summer. And Lit's going to be opening in So Are Black Eyed Peas.

43:03 Adam Oh, really?

43:03 No Doubt Yeah.

43:04 Adam Yeah, we've, I think we had Lit on the TV and the radio fairly recently.

43:08 Drew Didn't we just have Lit on here?

43:09 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

43:10 Drew Yeah, Adam loves travel.

43:11 Adam Nice guys.

43:12 Drew Loves it.

43:12 Adam No, I hate it. I kill myself. I had to do this. I can't believe this.

43:16 Caller That's nothing too. It's all year. We're going to Europe next month.

43:20 Adam Oh, man. But is it any easier now that you're not in a van, or now that you're staying at nice hotels, or playing nicer venues? I mean, does it get better with all that stuff?

43:34 No Doubt It should seem easier, but it is not.

43:37 Adam Right.

43:37 No Doubt Success complicates things tremendously.

43:40 Adam Well, you just get used to whatever it is, and then that just becomes it.

43:43 No Doubt Right.

43:44 Adam Like if you get used to flying first class, then that's just flying.

43:47 No Doubt Right.

43:48 Adam And you can be miserable in first class. And then if you go down to coach, you have to kill yourself.

43:54 Drew That's a novelty. That's why.

43:57 Adam You're right.

43:57 No Doubt If we had to go back to Vans, we wouldn't do it.

43:59 Adam Right.

43:59 No Doubt In all honesty, we wouldn't do it.

44:01 Adam Oh, no. Well, you did it. You earned it. Fine.

44:03 No Doubt You did it.

44:04 Adam All right. Scott.

44:06 Caller Yeah.

44:07 Adam You're 21. You want to know if a vasectomy is reversible?

44:10 Caller Yeah. And if it's going to affect my sex drive at all?

44:14 Drew It doesn't affect your sex drive. My understanding is they're never totally reversible. In other words, you can't predict with 100 percent certainty that even those that you plan to reverse can necessarily be totally reversible.

44:26 Caller Okay.

44:27 Drew And what are you doing with a vasectomy at 21?

44:29 Caller Well, my wife and I have decided we've got two kids now.

44:34 Drew 21. Get the vasectomy. Go. Run.

44:39 Adam Can you get a retroactive vasectomy where you get one when your children goes back? Does that work?

44:45 Drew No, it doesn't work like that.

44:46 Adam No?

44:47 Drew Will not affect your sex drive though at all. In fact, they say that the first experience after you had your vasectomy is really intense.

44:54 Adam Yeah. But that's just because you haven't had an orgasm in three weeks or something, isn't it?

44:59 Drew Even for those guys that aren't used to evacuating twice a day, Adam.

45:03 Adam Oh. I mean, they're out there? Yeah. But seriously, isn't it that first one great because it's like that first slice of pizza you had after being trapped in the desert for a month, is the best slice of pizza you ever had?

45:18 Drew Apparently more than that.

45:19 Adam You know what I mean? It's more than that? All right.

45:22 Caller Okay. Out here, they have two different ways you can do it. They can do it through a laser surgery or through a scalpel surgery.

45:30 Drew Yeah.

45:30 Caller Which would you recommend for being best? Is there a difference aside from the recovery time?

45:36 Drew The laser is with a scope?

45:37 Caller Yeah.

45:38 Drew I think those endoscopic procedures are pretty good right now. So again, you should talk to your neurologist about it.

45:43 Adam You always go with the laser though when you have a choice, right? That always sounds like it.

45:49 Drew Lately, those have been very, very good.

45:50 Adam Adrian just handed me a note that said the first time you ever masturbated to orgasm was at age 27.

45:56 Caller That's really random, Adrian.

45:58 Adam That is bizarre.

46:01 No Doubt That's the truth.

46:01 Drew That's because he was having sex at the age of 14.

46:04 Adam No.

46:05 No Doubt 17.

46:06 Adam Really?

46:06 No Doubt Uh-huh.

46:07 Adam You started having sex at 17. You had a steady girlfriend for a while.

46:12 No Doubt Many girlfriends.

46:12 Adam Many girlfriends.

46:13 No Doubt Uh-huh.

46:14 Drew Jesus Christ.

46:15 Adam That was before he played drums too.

46:19 No Doubt I wouldn't say that many girlfriends. It was, I don't know why. I tried it and it just didn't work and I gave up on it and later it worked out.

46:26 Adam Wow. I know. But for me that would have been a three day period. Not 17 years or 14 years. You know what I mean? I mean the first time I was with a woman and discovered that my penis worked like you did at 17, once I knew the plumbing was hooked up, that would have been it for me. I mean I would have been gone.

46:45 No Doubt I don't know what my problem is. To this day I don't even do it that often.

46:49 Adam You make me sick.

46:50 No Doubt I'm so sorry.

46:51 Adam Leave the studio, take your golf clubs and a drum kit and get the hell out of here.

46:54 Drew Maybe say something about that sport.

46:56 Adam Who were... I don't know, I can't remember who from what band and what conversation we had, but there was someone else from some other band that we had a con... Maybe it was like from The Flies or something.

47:08 Drew It was somebody, yeah.

47:09 Adam Some band where the guy just didn't masturbate or never had or was 25 before he did the first time. It wasn't Adrian, but there's something very... Is this ringing familiar to you, Drew? Yeah. Tom told me during the break he got started at 11 and hasn't looked back. Is that true, Tom?

47:27 Caller Right. No. We actually kind of taught Adrian how on the butt. We didn't talk. We talked him through it.

47:33 Adam Yeah.

47:34 Caller Described what he needed to do and the first time was what? In Chicago?

47:38 Caller In your hotel room?

47:39 Adam Yeah. Nice. And now, but now that you've figured it out, what are you on? What kind of schedule? What kind of pace are you on?

47:47 Drew He still doesn't like it.

47:47 No Doubt When I'm at home, I rarely do it. When I go on the road away from my wife, I do it twice a week. Three times at the most.

47:57 Adam Drew, should he-

47:57 No Doubt Is that weird?

47:58 Drew Yeah.

47:59 Adam Should he get a CAT scan or something? You think he has a tumor?

48:02 Drew For Adam, that's outlandish, but that's actually quite average.

48:05 Adam Yes. Oh, good. Is that quite average? I know, Drew, you always say my friends when I always say my friends. It's catch 22 because I go, hey, every one of my friends are like 35 years old, they go at themselves two, three times a day and then Drew always says my friends. But I have a pretty eclectic group of friends and they're all good for once or twice a day.

48:27 Drew No, you have a very uniform homogeneous group of derelicts you hung around with.

48:31 No Doubt How often do you do it, Tom?

48:32 Drew Delightful guys, by the way, but they all had the same bent.

48:35 Adam Okay. I'm probably, I vary, but I'm good for, I would average once a day, I would say. Put it this way, I'll miss a day on rare occasion, but I'll make up for it on the next day. You know what I'm saying? I'll double down, maybe split the aces.

48:52 Drew They're taking the birth control pill.

48:55 Adam Split the scrotum.

48:56 Caller So when you have a girlfriend or something, does that decrease? Do you still?

48:59 Adam I try not to let it get in the way. Yeah, it'll slow it down a little.

49:03 Drew Rex Cabo, let's go.

49:04 Adam All right, Mr. Elastic Scrotum, we'll take ourselves a break. We'll be back with more No Doubt after this.

49:10 Caller Let's have some more fun.

49:11 No Doubt Okay, let's do it. Call Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191. Love Line will be right back.

49:53 Neat.

49:55 Adam It's Love Line. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout, and we'll be back with more of the famous program in just 10 seconds.

50:02 Caller This is Love Line on Radio Station.

50:17 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Tom and Adrian are both here from No Doubt. Return of Saturn is the name of the new CD. We'll hear something else off the new CD in just a few minutes. Also, I forgot to mention that there's an LA date, Irvine Meadows, August 5th, which is going on sale this weekend for No Doubt. We're talking to Adrian and Tom during the break, and we're just sort of talking about women and pornography and all that stuff.

50:45 Drew Think about where the conversation started.

50:46 Adam Something, all right, forget about the masturbation, but something that I hadn't mentioned in a long time on this show, but Drew and I have talked about it in the past was-

50:54 Drew We've written about it too.

50:55 Adam Oh, we have.

50:56 Drew It's in our book.

50:56 Adam Oh, that's right. I got to read that thing. That's right. This weekend. Is how you can sort of tell if a woman is cool or not or compatible with you or not, and I've now figured out three basic criteria for judging this. And this is all you need to know. If you're dating a woman, you're thinking it's getting serious, here are the questions you need answered. A, does she like her dad? I mean, that is most important. If she says that, I hope that son of a bitch fries in hell, or I hope he gets corn holed another time in prison, or I don't know where he is, or I hate him, believe me, you will become dad at some time, and you will be in trouble. So A, they should like their dad. B, when you go out to order with them, and here's where I believe Drew's wife starts falling short, you go out to dinner with them, and they start making up their own combinations of food that may not even be on the menu, and they start asking what's in everything.

51:54 Drew How do you mix a salad dressing up on your own?

51:56 Adam Right, yeah. They're like some sort of mad scientist making their own salad dressing. The person goes like, they'll go, hey, you want salad? It's super salad. I'll have the salad. They'll go, what kind of salad dressing we'd like for that? They go, ranch, Thousand Island, Italian, or blue cheese. And if the woman then names a fifth one that they didn't mention, that's trouble. Like they go, do you have a Roquefort vinaigrette, Honey Dijon? And they'll go like, no. And then they'll start mixing stuff.

52:24 No Doubt But what if she asks for a ball sack of Vinaigrette?

52:27 Adam Well, that's fine then if she wants a nice ball sack. Yes, for dipping. I like that.

52:33 Drew And number three.

52:35 Adam The point is, if she starts mixing and matching her food, do this, take it off that, only use white meat, blah, blah, blah. That's pain in the ass. And number three, how is she with a little porn around the apartment or house? Can you have a porn mag or a movie floating around? Or does she freak out, look at it as cheating, look at it as offensive, and force you to hide your sort of carnal pursuits without her finding out? You know what I'm saying? And Drew, I think your wife may be good on one out of three of those.

53:09 Drew Two out of three.

53:09 Adam Two out of three? She wouldn't mind, she don't mind a little porn hanging around the house, right?

53:12 Drew We don't have it because of the kids. No way.

53:14 Adam Oh, Drew, stop it.

53:16 Drew No way.

53:17 Adam Stop it with those kids already. First off, you got three. If one of them goes south, you got two, it's no big deal. Number one. Number two, you know what you're going to do to those kids of yours? Drew, whenever he talks about his kids, he like freaks out. He's like, I have to fly to Peoria this weekend to pick up a dime somebody dropped last week because I have kids. And I always go, Drew, would you relax? Stop working so much. You're killing yourself, man. I mean, you're out of the house all the time. You're traveling all the time. You're doing stuff that ain't even worth the money. I have three kids. I have to send them to the best college. That's going to cost me an average of $700,000 a unit in the year 2015. Blah, blah, blah. You freak out too much with these kids. But let me tell you, it's going to end up haunting them because you'll, you'll, you'll resent them without even knowing it. Yes. I mean, think about it.

54:09 Drew They'll resent me for...

54:11 Adam Oh, they already resent you for no good reason.

54:13 Drew For all kinds of...

54:13 Adam Oh, no good reason. No, you'll be the world's greatest dad. They'll still... One of them will hate your guts. One of them will have to hate your guts for no good reason. But the point is, is you'll screw up your life too much in the name of the kids. And there's got to be some issues. I mean, there's got to be some residue with that. Think about it for a second.

54:31 Drew No, anything extreme, anything excessive.

54:32 Adam You know what I mean?

54:33 Drew Absolutely.

54:34 Adam I mean, look, if you want a porn movie, you should be able to have a porn movie. You put it at the top of the closet, you put a sweater on it and you keep it out of the way of the kids. Or how about you put it in a safe? You got a safe at the house?

54:45 Drew Yeah.

54:46 Adam You do?

54:46 No Doubt Yeah.

54:47 Adam Really? We got it now. You got money in there?

54:50 No Doubt No. Adam, all those descriptions, my new wife passed that you just mentioned.

54:56 Adam Really?

54:56 No Doubt Yeah.

54:57 Adam Orders are right off the menu, doesn't make her own food, loves her dad, loves her dad, and doesn't mind a little porn floating around the palace.

55:04 No Doubt Doesn't mind it at all and expects me to view it in the hotel room while I'm on tour.

55:07 Adam That is a keeper. Listen, ladies, you don't want your man to cheat, that's what you do. Give him an extra 20 when he leaves the house with a hand job and tell him that's for spectra vision.

55:18 No Doubt And how?

55:19 Adam There you go. Louis, or Louis, sorry. Louis?

55:26 Yeah.

55:26 Adam You're 16 and you're locked in the bathroom.

55:30 Caller Yeah.

55:30 Adam Alright, what do you want?

55:32 Caller Yeah, I have this problem, like, for some reason, I whack off a lot.

55:37 Adam Right.

55:38 Caller Alright. And I can't just, like, have to do it all the time, like, when I'm at school or whatever.

55:44 Drew How many times a day?

55:47 Caller Four times, at least.

55:49 Adam Average for a 16-year-old.

55:52 Drew Did something happen to you? Were you sexually abused when you were a kid?

55:56 Caller No, not really, but...

55:57 Drew What do you mean, not really?

55:59 Caller No, well, that's just the way we talk, you know.

56:04 Adam Listen, what do you mean at school? You do it at school?

56:06 Caller Yeah, sometimes.

56:07 Adam Where?

56:08 Caller Oh, in the bathroom.

56:09 Adam Really? You have your own bathroom at school? Or isn't it a little bit crowded in there?

56:14 Caller It has a fan that's really loud, so you can't hear the slapping.

56:18 No Doubt Do you have time to go to your locker between classes?

56:20 Caller Uh...

56:21 Adam You do it standing up, right?

56:24 Caller Uh...

56:25 Adam Oh, he's an idiot. He's lying. He's full of crap.

56:28 No Doubt Nobody does it four times a day at 16, right?

56:31 Drew Well, addicts do, six addicts and six compulsive, but they even abuse usually. That's why I ask that question.

56:36 Adam If I was home on a sick day or something in the 10th grade, I could get four or five off.

56:41 Drew You have no meaning to sick day.

56:42 Adam That's right. I'd go sick on myself. Parents would get sick when they got home and saw the furniture. Jennifer, sick day. You're 23.

56:51 Caller Yes, I am. How are you?

56:52 Adam What is up? Adrian, masturbate for the first time at 27.

56:57 No Doubt How about you?

56:58 Caller Really?

56:59 Adam You believe that?

57:01 Caller That's interesting.

57:02 Adam Yeah. When did you masturbate for the first time, Jennifer?

57:07 Caller Probably when I was like 13.

57:09 Adam There you go.

57:10 Caller 12 or 13, somewhere in there.

57:12 Adam You had an orgasm?

57:13 Caller Yeah.

57:13 Adam That's good.

57:14 Caller I was hooked from that point on.

57:16 Adam Fantabulous. Do you use the tub?

57:20 Caller No. I used it when I was younger. Just you know, you could go in the bathroom and lock the door and everything.

57:25 Adam Right.

57:26 Caller Yeah. Not really anymore now.

57:27 Adam Right. All right. Now you do it on the lawn. What's your question?

57:31 Caller Well, first of all, I want to say, Dr. Drew, love your website.

57:34 Drew Thanks, Jennifer.

57:35 Caller It's awesome. Got my free condoms in the mail today.

57:36 Drew Right on.

57:37 Caller All right. And Adam, I totally love your 1-800-Collect commercials.

57:41 Adam Oh, yeah. It's genius.

57:42 Drew I have to go. It plays me.

57:44 Caller I'm sorry?

57:45 Adam Yeah. Oh, no. No, it's a different one. I'm sitting on it.

57:48 Drew You blow up.

57:48 Adam Yeah. Don't worry. I gave every penny of that to Uncle Sam.

57:51 Caller Did you?

57:52 Adam Well, yeah. Actually, I paid him more. Yeah, that's fine.

57:57 Caller Okay. Well, I also want to thank you guys for your advice about doing push-ups with your tongue because that has made my sex life incredible with my boyfriend. He totally loves that.

58:06 Drew Push-ups with your tongue?

58:07 Adam Who said that?

58:09 Caller You did.

58:09 Adam I did? Man, I got to stop doing this show. Hi.

58:12 Caller If you can't, it lasts very long in bed. You said that guys needed to learn how to do push-ups with their tongue.

58:19 Adam What? I did. What was the context? I mean, what was the question?

58:24 Caller Oh, I don't even remember. But anyway, it was...

58:26 Drew Do it away.

58:27 Adam You mean, if the guy can't last very long...

58:30 Caller Yeah, if he doesn't last very long in bed, he needs to learn how to do push-ups.

58:32 Adam Oh, I see. He's got to do some oral sex.

58:35 Caller Right.

58:35 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I tell... There's a lot of guys call the show and they're like, I'm good for two or three, four minutes, and then that's it. I'm like, listen, when you start the oral sex, that's when you start the sex clock. So, if you get down there for 20 minutes, and then you have your five-minute intercourse, 25 minutes of love making, plus the chick likes the oral sex better anyway. Right, Jennifer?

58:57 Caller Hell yeah.

58:58 Adam Hell yeah. All right. Go ahead.

59:00 Caller All right. Well, my question for you is this. Whenever we have sex, it seems like I'm always asking for it. I'm like, honey, you know, can we have sex tonight? And it's not that he ever tells me no, but I wonder if there's any way that I could get him to be a little bit more aggressive because I mean, I know that he enjoys sex, but how do I get him to want it as much as I do?

59:20 No Doubt I have a suggestion.

59:21 Drew Go ahead.

59:22 No Doubt Just go straight down on him and he cannot say no.

59:25 Drew No, that's her problem. She wants him to initiate. See, she's feeling like he doesn't desire her as much as she desires him.

59:30 Caller Exactly.

59:31 Drew And are you doing this every night?

59:33 Caller No.

59:34 Drew How often?

59:35 Caller Two, three, four times a week.

59:36 Drew Why don't you give it a break? Just stop doing that and see what happens.

59:39 Adam What if you gave it five, six days off? He'd probably come to you.

59:43 Caller But he didn't.

59:44 Drew You retried it?

59:45 Caller Yes.

59:45 Drew How long did you go?

59:47 Caller Well, it was almost two weeks.

59:49 Adam Oh. How old is he?

59:52 Caller He's 25.

59:54 Adam And you guys have been going out for how long?

59:57 Caller About two months.

59:58 Drew Is he on any medications?

1:00:00 Caller I'm on Zoloft.

1:00:01 Drew Is he? Oh, you're on Zoloft. You're still that way?

1:00:03 Caller Yeah.

1:00:03 Adam Still horny. Imagine if she was off that Zoloft.

1:00:07 Drew Is he on any medication?

1:00:08 Adam No. You put any weight on recently?

1:00:13 Adam I see. And you figure he's attracted to you?

1:00:15 Caller Yeah.

1:00:16 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:00:16 Adam He's not depressed?

1:00:17 Caller We have excellent sex.

1:00:18 Caller And he tells us sex is great. It's just that he doesn't initiate.

1:00:21 Adam I see. But when he does have sex with you, he performs oral sex on you for quite some time, right?

1:00:26 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:00:27 Adam All right. So he's still interested.

1:00:28 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:00:29 Adam Or he has a low self-esteem. Either way, you're getting oral sex. Here's my point. Sometimes, tell me what you guys think of this theory. Relationships sort of, they take a certain order or cadence or something where somebody becomes the sexual aggressor and the other person becomes more passive, and they just get sort of established, and then that's just the way they are. Meaning one person says it's time to have sex, the other person says yes. Now, 99% of the time, it's the guy who does it. But if this guy's sort of used to this and she's sort of aggressive, why do you got that push on?

1:01:06 Drew As you often say, as it pertains to things like culture, there's a reason that pattern gets established, and it means something about the two people, and she doesn't like it.

1:01:14 Adam I know she doesn't like it, but Jennifer is extra amorous and extra horny, right?

1:01:19 Drew He's not.

1:01:20 Adam And this guy is more laid back, and she comes to him regularly every couple of days and says it's time to have sex, and they've established that pattern, and so he sort of hangs out because he's passive, waiting for her to come to him. So I think she needs to tell him, Adrian.

1:01:35 No Doubt Well, there's also, they're in their second month, and they took two weeks off in the second month, or he was not interested to initiate sex two weeks into the second month. There's obviously some sort of lack of interest there.

1:01:47 Adam Yeah.

1:01:49 Drew That's the truth.

1:01:50 Adam I was just BSing.

1:01:51 Drew And that's what she's picking up on and she doesn't like that.

1:01:53 Adam Yeah.

1:01:53 No Doubt Time to move on.

1:01:55 Adam And here's what she needs to do, I think. She needs to just give him a chance. She needs to bring it up. Yeah. But she may learn something that she doesn't want to hear.

1:02:04 Caller You gotta bring it up.

1:02:04 Adam All right. Rose.

1:02:07 Caller Yeah.

1:02:08 Adam You're 19?

1:02:08 Caller Yes.

1:02:09 Adam What's up?

1:02:11 Caller I was hearing a bit about the breast enhancement tablets and I was wondering whether they actually work.

1:02:17 Drew Where did you hear about it?

1:02:19 Caller On the radio and in magazines.

1:02:21 Adam Yep.

1:02:21 Drew Everything on the radio and magazines is gospel truth. Here's how it works. They never lie.

1:02:24 Adam You have to buy, I've heard about this. They're required.

1:02:27 Drew They're required to sell the truth.

1:02:29 Adam Shut up, Drew. I know how this one works. You have to buy ten bottles, right? You listening? Rose, you listening? I'm telling you how it works. By ten bottles, you open them up, you pull the cotton stuffing out of them, you put it in your bra. You understand?

1:02:46 Yeah.

1:02:47 Adam Five on each nipple.

1:02:48 Caller So they basically don't work?

1:02:49 Adam No.

1:02:50 Okay.

1:02:50 Adam Well, they may like increase a little, I don't know, estrogen or something. Maybe your boobs get a little bigger like you're on your period for 10 minutes or something. But generally, no. Why? What do you need?

1:03:02 Caller Huh?

1:03:03 Adam What do you need?

1:03:04 Caller What do you mean?

1:03:04 Adam You need bigger boobs?

1:03:06 Caller Well, I was just interested in it.

1:03:07 Adam I see.

1:03:08 No Doubt Can I make a recommendation? Every girl that I've ever known that's had a boob job, which is the next level, has always regretted it later. Don't do it.

1:03:18 Adam Right. I'm with Adrian. Get a really good boob job.

1:03:20 No Doubt No matter how hard we all get, don't do it.

1:03:23 Adam Well, isn't this true, guys? And not me personally. I love huge cans. But women think that all guys love huge, heaving breasts. And the reality is, is guys like a nice ass, a nice face. Maybe, probably in that order or maybe not in that order. Nice eyes, nice teeth, nice everything. Breasts are a little bit lower down than women think. And size, guys are interested in nice shape, but they don't need a ton of cleavage. I mean, most models, most supermodels, most sex symbols, they don't have huge cans, do they?

1:03:59 No Doubt I can't believe that's coming out of your mouth.

1:04:00 Adam I'm not saying for me. I love huge cans.

1:04:04 No Doubt No, I know a guy, a lot of guys that like huge cans.

1:04:06 Adam Oh, you do?

1:04:06 No Doubt Yeah.

1:04:07 Adam Yeah, you're right.

1:04:08 No Doubt I still don't recommend it.

1:04:09 Adam That was a dumb speech.

1:04:10 No Doubt Surgery for that just doesn't make sense. And most women may regret it. I'm sorry.

1:04:15 Adam No, I mean, I've talked, listen, I love huge cans and I yell at my friends, like all the time, like I hold up a nudie magazine, they look at it and they go, ah, too big, too big. And again, I'll take a swing at them if I'm drunk. I mean, I'm pissed off. But most of my friends, these are guys, guys, they like an attractive woman with a nice rack, but not huge heaving bosoms. That's what I want to say. All right. Adrian, you like the big jugs, though, right?

1:04:44 No Doubt I am one of those hypocrites who goes to strip clubs, yes.

1:04:48 Adam Yeah.

1:04:48 No Doubt I don't recommend it to anybody.

1:04:49 Adam Right, but you like the big cans, thank you. Corey.

1:04:52 Caller Yes.

1:04:53 Adam You're 19.

1:04:54 Caller Yep.

1:04:56 Adam By the way, Adrian picked up the drums at 18, picked up his penis at 27. That should be on your tombstone. He was a good man. He was aid handicapped, picked up the drums at 18, picked up his penis at 27, and we put him down when he was 85. Go ahead, Corey, what's up?

1:05:15 Caller Okay. I've been listening to you guys this night, and I've been getting the opinion that I have a lower sex drive than anybody else on the planet at this point. You guys are talking about masturbating two times a week. Well, I don't masturbate. I haven't found any pleasure in it myself. I have girlfriends. I've had very, very pretty girlfriends in the past. It's just that I don't have much of a sex drive. I don't think. I'm wondering if this is normal, abnormal.

1:05:40 Drew Are you on a medication?

1:05:41 Caller None.

1:05:42 Drew Do you have any medical problems?

1:05:43 Caller None.

1:05:44 Drew Do you have no sex drive?

1:05:46 Caller I mean, I feel that I initiate sex maybe about once every other week.

1:05:53 Adam Yeah. And what if you're with your dream woman?

1:05:59 Caller Well, I guess I've kind of had mine. I mean, she was 5'4, 120.

1:06:05 Drew How often was that?

1:06:07 Caller Often was that. She initiated a lot. I mean, when they initiate, I have no problems. I'll perform.

1:06:13 Adam Right. All right. So, you were very attracted to this woman. I mean, if you sort of closed your eyes and you picked a celebrity of your choice, you still think it'd be once every other week? Probably. All right.

1:06:24 Drew Are you into women?

1:06:25 Caller Oh, yes.

1:06:26 Adam You don't like guys at all?

1:06:27 Caller Well, I do that also.

1:06:28 Adam Oh, you do?

1:06:29 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:06:30 Adam Well, there you go. You're gay. That's fine. You just got to come to grips with that.

1:06:35 Caller It's the same situation when I'm with men.

1:06:37 Drew All right. You may have some ambivalence about what your real feelings are and have trouble really coming to terms with all that.

1:06:43 Adam That's all right. You're a little confused. You're 19. Your penis needs to pick a path. All right? I don't know what that means.

1:06:52 Drew Do you smoke a lot of pot? No, I don't.

1:06:55 Adam Bye guys don't smoke a lot of weed. They only smoke pot to try to get other guys who are straight stoned so they can blow them.

1:07:00 Drew Do we get high?

1:07:01 Adam Oh, please. Tell me, when you're trying to pick a guy up, your first line isn't, want to get high? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, Corey. You turn into a Rasta goddamn farian when it comes to trying to blow a guy, right?

1:07:15 Drew No.

1:07:15 Adam Yeah, some cute guy sitting on the bus stop, you pull up, want to get high? Come on, I know the gay line. I fell for it hundreds of times. Hundreds of times. Oh, it's my ass hurt. All right. Are we going to hear something from No Doubt? We are?

1:07:32 Drew Simple kind of life.

1:07:33 Adam Now, what's the schedule? Because even though this is a big national radio show, we try to run it like a manpower operation over here.

1:07:42 Drew We don't try. We succeed.

1:07:43 Adam I heard Anne talking out of the corner of one of my ears to Tom and Adrian about leaving after this break. Possibly. Is that true? Are we going to hear the song and come back?

1:07:57 No Doubt Let's play the next song. I'm up for another session. If you guys want to have us.

1:08:02 Adam We'd love to have you. It's a quick break anyway. All right. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to hear Simple Kind of Life from No Doubt's new CD, Return of Saturn and then we'll be back with more Adrian and Tom from No Doubt. Here we go. Simple Kind of Life. Yo, Loveline, I'll be right back, homie. It's the Loveline of Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Adrian and Tom are both here from No Doubt. Return of Saturn is the name of the new CD. Was out yesterday. Matthew McConaughey will be in here on Sunday night promoting his new movie. And we'll do one more break before the boys skedaddle. And we do appreciate you guys coming in because we know what kind of day you had.

1:13:37 Drew Have you guys all made peace now?

1:13:39 Adam I think we have. Have we made peace?

1:13:41 No Doubt Absolutely. We made peace when we were drinking at Darren Pfeiffer's wedding.

1:13:45 Adam That's right. Yeah. 180 bucks it cost me to catch a buzz at Darren's wedding.

1:13:50 No Doubt Asshole.

1:13:51 Adam I had to hit myself on the head with a rock to get a good buzz over there. Holly?

1:13:56 Caller Yeah.

1:13:57 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:13:58 Caller I was wondering if it's normal to have one breast bigger than the other.

1:14:02 Drew It's very common. Very common.

1:14:05 Caller I mean big time.

1:14:07 Drew A cup size, even two cup size. Very, very common.

1:14:10 Adam No. Two isn't very common.

1:14:12 Drew Isn't very common.

1:14:12 Adam A B hanging with a D.

1:14:14 Drew It isn't very common. But A difference is very common and it can be as much as a cup.

1:14:19 Adam What do you got? A B and a C?

1:14:20 Caller Well, I wear a C but I don't have a special bra or anything.

1:14:27 Adam Yeah. So it's one a C and one a D? No.

1:14:30 Caller One's like more than a C and then the other is less than a C, but I just wear a C to average it out, I guess.

1:14:35 Adam I see. I understand. All right, that's fine.

1:14:39 Drew Plastic surgeons take care of this problem all the time if it really troubles you, but most guys will not be particularly bothered by this.

1:14:44 Adam But also she's 18. Do things have a way of evening out?

1:14:48 Drew She got a couple more years to go, yeah. They can.

1:14:51 Caller All right.

1:14:52 Adam One of my nuts hangs lower than the other if it's any consolation.

1:14:55 Caller Well, I know about that. I knew there was a difference, but I didn't know major difference.

1:14:59 Adam You read my bio.

1:15:00 Drew It can be very disruptive to the aesthetic of that piece of the body too. The nut sack.

1:15:05 Adam Oh, yes. Mine went from ugly to a super old man ugly. All right, Holly, you're fine.

1:15:12 Drew Oboe ugly.

1:15:13 Caller There's another part. My nipples point downward. They don't think they're like this.

1:15:24 Adam They point down.

1:15:25 No Doubt They don't perk up.

1:15:27 Adam You mean they point toward the ground? Right. Does the breast sag?

1:15:32 Caller No, the breast is fine.

1:15:33 It's just shaped.

1:15:35 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, listen, Holly, here's what you need to do. Live with it for a few more years. See if things take shape. If they don't, consult a plastic surgeon. He can fix things up for you.

1:15:51 Caller That won't hurt your body or anything, will it?

1:15:53 Adam No. People do it all the time. I know Adrian doesn't like it, but it happens all the time.

1:15:56 No Doubt Well, like I said, in four or five years, she'll have a better idea of what she needs to do.

1:16:00 Adam Right.

1:16:01 Drew At least three years.

1:16:02 Adam All right, Holly? So don't sweat it for a little while. All right. Let's see. Guyana?

1:16:08 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:16:09 Adam Hey, you're 19.

1:16:10 Caller This is for Tom and Adrian of No Doubt. I want to tell you guys I'm the biggest No Doubt fan. I love you guys so much.

1:16:16 No Doubt Thank you. Thanks.

1:16:17 Caller Seriously, I saw you guys at Jay Leno today. Amazing. So good. You don't understand. I want to know for all the fans out there, I want to know if you guys are going to have like another B-Sides collection, like Biggit Street or something like that, you know, coming up for your B-Sides songs and stuff.

1:16:33 Caller Right. This is Tom. Yeah, it took us two years to make the record. It was a long process. But in the process, we recorded a bunch of extra songs. There's at least, what, ten extra songs we recorded.

1:16:44 No Doubt Yeah.

1:16:45 Caller So there's a possibility sometime maybe next year we'll release a record of a whole bunch of extra stuff.

1:16:50 Caller Oh, cool. I want to let you guys know I'm going to see you guys three days in a row, like tomorrow. The free show on MSI 5 in San Francisco too. And Universal. I love you guys so much too.

1:17:01 Adam You didn't flash your boobs and jump in the limo today, did you?

1:17:04 Caller No.

1:17:05 Adam No, it wasn't you?

1:17:06 Caller I talked to you guys today. You guys are so awesome. I love you guys so much. I live for you guys. I'm so inspired by you guys.

1:17:13 No Doubt Thank you so much.

1:17:14 Caller Seriously, I love you guys.

1:17:16 Adam Thanks, Ganna.

1:17:17 Caller Thank you.

1:17:17 Adam All right. Drew and I, the Chop Liver contingent would like to thank you as well. All right. How does that work? Because I see you have 14 songs on the new CD, and you recorded 24, right?

1:17:31 Caller That's right.

1:17:32 Adam How do you figure who makes the cut or which songs make the cut?

1:17:36 Caller It's so hard.

1:17:37 Adam Is that all band or is there some record?

1:17:39 Caller We vote. Our producer weighs in and gives his opinion, and our manager, and it's really hard. We've released some of these things as B-sides already, and people are complaining like, oh man, those B-sides are better than the record. I don't know.

1:17:51 Adam Well, what about, and here's what I would do because I'm super lazy. I would figure we did 14 for this CD. We have 10 left in the hopper.

1:18:01 Drew Save them for a couple of years.

1:18:02 Adam Record two or three more songs, and we got ourselves another CD. You know what I mean? What about just saving them for a couple of years and putting them on the next one?

1:18:10 No Doubt The problem with our group is it takes us usually three to five years to make an album, and by the time the next album comes around, we outgrow those songs.

1:18:18 Adam Right.

1:18:19 No Doubt So it just never works.

1:18:20 Adam All right. And is there ever one that someone is in love with and absolutely beside themselves is not on the album? I mean, is there one song that either one of you just loved and thought for sure should make the cut and it didn't?

1:18:35 Caller I'm pretty happy with the way it is.

1:18:37 No Doubt Yeah, there's a lot of material there. It's actually on vinyl. It's two albums worth of material.

1:18:41 Adam Right. And why, by the way, and I know maybe I'm driving this into the ground, but you know you're doing a CD, you know it can only be 13, 14, 15 songs on there. Why even record the other ones? And why not just put them aside? I mean, you're busy.

1:18:56 Caller You know what? It's hard to tell how they're going to turn out until they're recorded. Right. In a rehearsal studio, it may sound good. When you record it, it could be crap. And so we just record a bunch of extras and try to pick the best ones.

1:19:06 Adam Good answer. Bob, I mean, Rob?

1:19:09 Yeah.

1:19:09 Adam You're 20. What's up?

1:19:11 Caller Well, I just went up to surprise my girlfriend up there in Santa Maria.

1:19:17 Adam I'm down here.

1:19:18 Caller I'm down from Fullerton. And I went up there. She's doing some movie up there with Fox. And I went up there to surprise her. I walked in on her, like, you know, training with this guy and getting it all up on it. And I don't know what to do. I mean, I've been with her for like five years.

1:19:34 Adam And what are you doing? Driving home now?

1:19:35 Caller Yeah, I'm on the freeway, the 101.

1:19:37 Adam All right. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Don't do anything stupid.

1:19:40 Caller I won't do anything like that, you know?

1:19:42 Adam What is she doing? She's an actress?

1:19:44 Caller Oh, yeah. She's been like messing around with like stuff. She's done a little couple MTV things and...

1:19:50 Adam Oh, that trashy network.

1:19:52 Caller Yeah.

1:19:52 Adam Her career can't be going well.

1:19:54 Caller Not too into it.

1:19:55 Adam Right. And now she's doing a movie?

1:19:57 Caller Yeah, some Fox made for TV movie over there.

1:20:00 Adam I see. All right. And what did she say when you confronted her?

1:20:04 Caller I walked in and I was just like, whoa, hey, you know? And I was just, she was in the room. There's a bunch of people in the room. They're all, they're just pounding on it, you know? It's like, I quit drinking like a while back.

1:20:15 Adam There's a bunch of people in the room? Yeah.

1:20:18 Caller It was like kind of like, it was a big room. It's kind of like a split room. She was in the back.

1:20:22 Adam And she was definitely having sex with a guy when you walked in?

1:20:26 Caller She was having sex. But, you know, she was like, you know, she was sure it was like, you know, like kind of off and...

1:20:33 Adam Yeah.

1:20:34 Caller All right.

1:20:34 Drew She was making out with a guy.

1:20:36 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:20:36 Adam So when you left, what did she say?

1:20:39 Caller I like, I left. She's like, what are you doing here? And I'm like, what are you doing? You know? And she's just like, she's like, what are you doing? Coming checking up. I'm like, what are you doing? You know?

1:20:48 Caller What's up, girlfriend?

1:20:50 Adam A lot of what are you doing?

1:20:51 Drew One of the best, defense is a good offense, huh?

1:20:54 Adam That's right. Hey, Rob?

1:20:57 No Doubt Yeah.

1:20:57 Adam Yeah, you guys have been together since you were 15.

1:21:00 No Doubt Yeah.

1:21:00 Adam Sounds like maybe this turkey's done.

1:21:03 Drew Oh, yeah. Don't struggle to make this thing survive. It's not meant to be.

1:21:11 Adam Yeah, it kind of sounds like that's it. Doesn't it sound like it's you guys? I mean, they've been together since 15.

1:21:18 Caller That's definitely over. It's too bad she's an actress.

1:21:20 Drew But it was supposed to be over. They're probably supposed to be over three years ago.

1:21:23 Adam Right.

1:21:24 Drew It's one of those relationships. You don't know. We've said earlier tonight. You don't know when or how to end relationships.

1:21:28 No Doubt Until it gets really ugly.

1:21:29 Drew Yeah, until it has to end it.

1:21:31 Adam I bet you she's been laying down the hints to old Rob for quite some time, and he hasn't exactly been picking up on them.

1:21:37 Drew What are you doing? Checking up on me? Thinking I might be doing something.

1:21:40 Adam The temerity. Adrian.

1:21:43 Caller Yes.

1:21:44 Adam Yes, different Adrian. What's up? You're 19.

1:21:46 Caller Hey, Tom and Adrian. How are you guys doing?

1:21:50 No Doubt Hi, there.

1:21:50 Caller Hey. How are you doing, Adam?

1:21:53 Adam Good.

1:21:53 Caller Hey, Dr. Drew. All right, Adrian. I wanted to ask you about the drugs ecstasy and acid.

1:21:59 Drew Yeah.

1:21:59 Caller Okay, because recently I've been taking ecstasy and acid. I want to know what the long-term effects were for them.

1:22:07 Drew Well, the National Institute on Drug and Alcohol Abuse is going to put out a major media campaign showing you PET scans so you can understand exactly what parts of the brain are shut down and destroyed by these two drugs, particularly ecstasy, and I have now admitted a few people with ecstasy. People have had more than 50 to 100 hits, and man, they are, I mean, it is obviously damaged. It is grossly apparent.

1:22:30 Caller People who do take it, you know, really often, they get really burned out.

1:22:34 Drew And that is not a reversible process. Their brain is permanently changed, and what they will experience, aside from those gross, those obvious changes you're seeing, is they will experience tremendous mood problems and panic and anxiety. And these are recalcitrant and very difficult problems.

1:22:52 Adam Have you done a lot of it, Adrian? Have you done a lot?

1:22:55 Caller No, I've only done it four times, and I've done it like twice or something.

1:23:01 Drew All right, hold it there.

1:23:02 No Doubt What kind of animals are experimented on, that kind of... Oh, people. I thought you said a pet thing, I'm sorry.

1:23:09 Drew No, a pet scan. A pet scan is a metabolic scan of the brain activity of where the cells are. You can see where the cells are actually gone, not working anymore.

1:23:17 Adam What's that stand for?

1:23:19 Drew Positron, emission, something, you know.

1:23:22 Caller Right. All right.

1:23:22 Adam So it's a pet scan. Yeah, I asked him the same thing when he told me last week. Why are they doing these experiments on innocent pets? Maria? Hello? You're 19. Listen, I wasn't even drunk, Adrian. I was sober and I asked him, so don't beat yourself up. Okay. You're 19. What's up?

1:23:42 Caller Well, I've been with this guy for about a year already.

1:23:45 Adam Yeah.

1:23:46 Caller Ever since sometime down the relationship, we started getting intimate and I've never seen to get an orgasm with him.

1:23:58 Adam You can't. Have you had an orgasm with anyone else?

1:24:01 Caller No, he's my first.

1:24:03 Adam I see. How about when you're on your own?

1:24:07 Adam No. And does he do oral sex on you?

1:24:10 Caller Yeah, he does.

1:24:10 Adam And still no orgasm?

1:24:12 Caller Well, he gets to that point but somehow he stops.

1:24:15 Adam He stops?

1:24:16 Caller Yeah.

1:24:17 Adam Why is he stopping right when he gets to the point?

1:24:19 Caller I have no idea.

1:24:20 Drew Why don't you alert him that he needs to go on?

1:24:23 Caller Yeah, I try to tell him but somehow he stops.

1:24:25 Adam Well, why don't you give him the keep going thing?

1:24:27 Drew He's just a dick.

1:24:30 Adam What's that, Maria?

1:24:33 Caller And then it's another thing that when we're having sex, he just lasts about not even 15 minutes. He finishes real quick.

1:24:42 Drew Not even, Adam.

1:24:44 Adam Listen, I'm good for a lifetime. I've told you that, Drew.

1:24:47 Drew Yeah, but even as such, you get bored after three minutes.

1:24:50 Adam Well, I do. Well, no, they do. Hey, Maria, oftentimes I want my money back too if it doesn't go well. Maria, listen, oral sex, that is the route. Now, tell them you're getting close and tell them to stick with it a little longer.

1:25:04 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:25:05 Adam All right?

1:25:06 Caller Okay.

1:25:07 Adam All right. All right. I'm not quite sure why she gets close and he stops right then and she tells him, but I don't believe she does an adequate job of telling him. All right. We're going to take ourselves a break, but before we do, we're going to say goodbye to Adrian and Tom who have had themselves a whale of a day. Kevin and Bean this morning, right?

1:25:28 No Doubt Yeah.

1:25:29 Adam Leno in the early evening and then a Loveline nightcap. Return of Saturn is the name of the CD. I'm glad you guys came in. I'm glad we've buried the hatchet with No Doubt. It's been too long and we thank you for coming in and we wish you all the success in the world.

1:25:48 No Doubt Thank you very much.

1:25:49 Adam We'll be right back after this.

1:25:53 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:26:34 Adam How many times have I said that, Drew?

1:26:36 Drew I've been right.

1:26:37 Adam Oh, yes. Never, ever wrong. All right. That is it. I want to thank, I mean, at least it for Tom and Adrian from No Doubt. I want to thank those guys for coming in. And I could do about another 15 minutes on the Taxman, or we could just take some calls. Let me say something real quick about money and me and all that kind of stuff. All that kind of stuff. Listen, first off, all you a-holes out there listening who thinks because someone makes a lot of money, they become some sort of sellout or something like that, everyone you see on TV makes some pretty good money. They pretend like they're poor and they never talk about it. And they always say to them, you know, I was doing Conway and Steckler, another radio show out here a couple of weeks ago, and like how much did you make for those 1-800-Collect commercials? I said 250 grand. Now, if you ask anybody else what you get paid for that commercial or what you get paid for that appearance or how much does MTV pay or whatever it is, it's always the same answer, enough or not enough or whatever it is. And listen, if you got some kind of club, you know, if you have, if you're running a disco and you're laundering money or you don't want the IRS to find out or whatever it is, then you shouldn't say how much you make. But you know what, if it's all above the board and the IRS knows how much you make, I don't give a rat's ass if people know how much I make. I'm fine with that. I don't, I don't like that, that part of celebrity where no one knows how much anyone makes or you fear that someone's not going to like you because you make a good income. I do two TV shows, a whole bunch of voiceovers and a national radio show. People should assume I make OK money. I mean shouldn't they? Yeah. I mean what do you think? If you turn on the TV, you see a guy's got a bunch of commercials and a couple of TV shows and then he tells you he's making money. Are you disappointed? Don't you assume he's getting paid something for it? Listen, there's nothing wrong with it. You guys should all try to aspire to make some money. Anyone's got a problem with that can kiss my ass. I don't care. Call me up. Ask me how much I get paid for anything. I'll tell you exactly. Anything I do, whatever it is, I'll tell you how much it is. Courtney and I wish everyone else would do the same thing. I don't know what the big deal is. You're 17. What's up?

1:29:00 Caller Okay. I got with my boyfriend like two weeks ago and I was on my period, and I don't know if I'm pregnant because I've been having like really bad back pains and abdominal pains, and I wasn't aware of the possibility I could be pregnant with.

1:29:12 Drew There is a possibility, but I'd be more worried about things that are more likely to have occurred or as likely to have occurred like a urine infection or a pelvic infection.

1:29:21 Adam When I did Politically Incorrect, the Oscar Correspondent Show two weeks ago, $3,300.

1:29:26 Caller Whatever.

1:29:26 Adam All right.

1:29:27 Drew Got ripped off.

1:29:28 Adam I should have held out for more. All right. What was the question?

1:29:33 Caller I have something more.

1:29:33 Drew No, no. We know, Courtney.

1:29:34 Adam How much?

1:29:35 Drew Did you hear what I said?

1:29:36 Caller Huh?

1:29:37 Drew Did you hear what I said?

1:29:38 Caller No.

1:29:39 Adam All right. Well, fine.

1:29:40 Drew Again. It's more likely to be a urine or bladder infection or a pelvic infection. These things need to be looked into immediately. Pregnancy is a possibility, but you are not actually describing symptoms that sound like pregnancy.

1:29:52 Adam Lauren?

1:29:54 Caller Hi.

1:29:54 Adam You're 16. What's up?

1:29:55 Caller Yeah. I'm calling because I have a problem. I stopped doing drugs and alcohol a long time ago, but now I'm starting to do it again. And I don't know what to do because I'm in a foster home. And if I say anything, it will be put on my record. And most likely, they'll have to move me to a group home.

1:30:16 Adam Yeah. When you're in a foster home, you're living with a family, right?

1:30:20 Caller Yeah.

1:30:20 Adam Are there other foster kids living there?

1:30:23 Caller Only one.

1:30:24 Adam Uh-huh. Is it a she or he?

1:30:26 Caller It's a she.

1:30:27 Adam That's good.

1:30:27 Drew Of course. And you can't tell the foster parents because they have to report it?

1:30:31 Caller Yeah.

1:30:32 Drew Oh, boy.

1:30:32 Caller And knowing them, they will...

1:30:34 Drew Why don't you just start going to meetings and stop doing drugs?

1:30:37 Caller Like where?

1:30:38 Drew Well, what drugs are you doing?

1:30:40 Caller Like alcohol and like pot and stuff.

1:30:43 Drew Why don't you just go to AA? Just open the phone book, look up Alcoholics Anonymous, call them. They will come pick you up, take you to a meeting, and just start going to meetings.

1:30:51 Adam Really?

1:30:51 Drew Yeah.

1:30:52 Adam Well, hey, Lauren? Why don't you do that?

1:30:56 Caller Okay.

1:30:56 Adam All right. You think you can stop?

1:30:59 Caller Um, I hope.

1:31:00 Adam Well, go to AA. Call them up. They'll come pick you up.

1:31:04 Caller Okay.

1:31:04 Adam All right. It's a party bus, right? They swing by. They honk the horn. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. You come run out there. There's a bunch of guys with Shriner hats and a keg in the back.

1:31:15 Drew Actually, it's a paddy wagon with a bar door on the back.

1:31:19 Adam Yeah. What happened to the paddy wagon? You know where the paddy wagon comes from? I like that. Good derogatory term. What are paddies? Irish? Yeah. Yeah. Mix Irish, isn't it? Is that Scottish?

1:31:32 Adam The point is, the paddy wagon is named after the wagon that used to pick up all the drunk Irish guys probably in Chicago or something. So, it's called the paddy wagon. I mean, it could have easily been the WAP wagon or the nigger wagon or the beaner wagon or something. Well, I think they'd have to call it the kike mobile, but it turned out to be the paddy wagon. No one has a problem with that, though. Why does everyone have a problem with the paddy wagon? All right.

1:32:03 Caller Yeah?

1:32:04 Adam Hey, you're 15.

1:32:05 Caller Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for taking my call. Okay. Like you said, my dad's a quote unquote cult leader.

1:32:15 Adam He's what kind of cult leader?

1:32:16 Caller Quote unquote. I mean, that's what it was called.

1:32:21 Adam He's a cult leader. Okay. What's wrong with dad? Good, honest living, running a cult.

1:32:28 Caller No, he's in jail.

1:32:29 Adam Oh, I see.

1:32:32 Caller I don't know what to do. Okay, I don't even go to school. I'm homeschooled and everything.

1:32:36 Adam Yeah.

1:32:38 Caller I mean, you could probably get it. I never had sex or anything before.

1:32:42 Caller Yeah, that's good.

1:32:43 Caller I just had my-

1:32:45 Drew It's a good cult.

1:32:46 Adam Yeah, it's a happy cult. Why is he in jail?

1:32:51 Caller I think robbery.

1:32:52 Adam Oh, okay. All right. How do you run a cult, by the way? Is that something you can do part time out of your own house or weekends?

1:33:03 Caller I don't know.

1:33:04 Adam How many people were in the cult?

1:33:06 Caller Oh, there still is about 20.

1:33:08 Adam 20?

1:33:09 Caller All live in the same house.

1:33:10 Adam You all live in the same house?

1:33:12 Caller Yeah. And oh my gosh, I don't know. I really want to get away, but I'm 15 and I don't know what I can do.

1:33:20 Adam And what are some of the rules of the cult? Because you guys could just be poor. And that's its own cult.

1:33:26 Caller Well, I mean, I can't wear certain clothes. I can't wear bathing suits for sure. I can't listen to music or watch TV. I can't do that. Oh gosh, I can't do anything.

1:33:39 Adam It's a boring cult.

1:33:40 Drew It's a good cult though.

1:33:41 Adam Yeah, it's a good cult. All right. And you're living with other cult members. Does the cult have a name?

1:33:49 Caller Yeah.

1:33:50 Caller The gatekeepers.

1:33:51 Adam Oh, the gatekeepers.

1:33:52 Caller You might have even read about them in the newspaper.

1:33:55 Adam Have you had Drew's read about him? I don't read. I feel it's bad. I feel it poisons the mind.

1:33:59 Caller Have you ever heard of Chris Dijon?

1:34:01 Adam Chris Dijon?

1:34:02 Caller Yeah.

1:34:02 Adam I've heard of Honey Dijon, his porn star wife.

1:34:06 Drew Quick assign. I interviewed David Arquette tonight at the drdrew.com show, and he was raised on a commune for a while. Wait, hang on a second, Renee. There's actually comedy to this. He was on a commune. The kids were running wild. He said it was sort of out of bizarre and out of control. It was all based on the belief systems of this Indonesian Indian guy, this Maharishi Mahesh Guru. These hippies in the 60s set up this commune. The Maharishi came to visit and he looked around and went, what the f you people doing? Get a job. This is not what I intended at all. Get out of here.

1:34:31 Adam Oh, really?

1:34:32 Drew Yeah. Hey, work.

1:34:34 Adam That is funny.

1:34:35 Drew It's very funny.

1:34:36 Adam Hey, Renee. Listen, your dad's in jail. Why can't you? Where's your mom?

1:34:42 Caller She's here.

1:34:43 Adam She's here. Is she knee deep in the cult?

1:34:45 Caller What? Yeah. So it's like I want to go to school and everything, but I don't know how. I mean, she's definitely won't let me go to school, but.

1:34:52 Adam She won't let you?

1:34:54 Caller Oh, for sure not. No, they won't let me go to school.

1:34:56 Adam Oh, boy. And are they real religious people?

1:34:59 Caller Yeah. And so like, I don't know, like if I ran, I know that if I ran, ran away, like if I went home, they would never follow a runaway report.

1:35:06 Adam Listen.

1:35:06 Drew You're not runaway.

1:35:07 Adam Listen, Renee, I hate to say, but you got dealt a bad hand. You got a lemon of a family. You're going to have to just suck it up for about another two years and then you got to move away.

1:35:19 Drew Go to college.

1:35:20 Adam What's the name of the gatekeepers? All right. It's funny. People never name their cults like, I think they should name a cult like a football team, like the Badgers. You know what I mean? The Lions, the Bears.

1:35:32 Drew Bangles.

1:35:32 Adam They give yourself a good name. You know what I mean? The wild weasels.

1:35:37 Drew Wolverines.

1:35:37 Adam In case you play like another cult in softball. Do they do that? Do you think cults take on like other cults? Of course. They have a big- Celebrity. Celebrity cult softball game. I can get in that. All right. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

1:35:55 Caller We'll be right back with more.

1:35:57 Adam Loveline.

1:36:28 Drew Ah, yes, another episode of Loveline comes to a close. I want to thank No Doubt for joining us tonight. I think the love has been rekindled amongst the band members and ourselves here at Loveline. Again, tomorrow night, we'll be speaking of love, just the love between Adam and myself. So until that time, this is Dr. Drew on Adam Corolla's behalf, saying mahalo. When I was 14, I tried to be straight, or I thought I should be straight, and I was confused.

1:36:51 No Doubt You know.

1:36:52 No Doubt Well now.

1:37:00 No Doubt Including Westwood Run Entertainment, Loveline's producer and welcome single.

1:37:04 Caller Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Wednesday, April 12, 2000