Episode 1000754887689

0:54 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:02 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:05 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:07 Voiceover Loveline.

1:09 Voiceover Yes, it's the Loveline of Adam Corolla. It is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number, 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew's a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest from City of Angels, Hill Harper's there in the studio tonight. That was very smooth, wasn't it?

1:32 Drew Really, it sounded like you've never been away.

1:35 Adam Wednesday night's 8 o'clock on CBS. And Drew, you'd be interested in this show because it has to do with hospitals.

1:43 Drew Oh, except those frustrate me.

1:46 Adam Really?

1:46 Drew Those drive me crazy. Why is that?

1:47 Adam Because all the doctors are better looking than you.

1:49 Drew That and it's just so untrue, except ER which is like borders untrue.

1:56 I don't know. I think you should check out our show.

1:58 Drew I will. I've got to.

1:59 We've got a couple doctors on staff that are there all the time. And we try to stick as real as possible.

2:07 Adam My interpretation is the medical end of it is getting more and more accurate. It's just the attitude is different.

2:14 Drew The personal part, yeah.

2:15 Adam Like, listen, I've been to the hospital a few times. People don't run around that much. They're a lot of sitting around.

2:21 Drew It's the concerns of running a hospital that were so egregious where you can't get people to like take a patient downstairs for an x-ray and stuff. Those are the problems with practicing medicine. And none of it ever gets on television.

2:32 Adam No, but that's boring.

2:33 Drew I know it's boring.

2:35 We're trying to get into those issues since it's an inner city hospital on the show. So we're trying to get into the issues of underfunding and the care issues and people not receiving proper medical care and all that stuff.

2:45 Drew That's it. I'm watching.

2:45 Wednesdays at 8CBS.

2:47 Adam Also, Hill is in The Skulls, which is coming. It's not out in theaters yet.

2:52 March 31st.

2:54 Drew I have a ton of buzz about that.

2:55 Adam Yeah, I have seen a lot of stuff on it, but I still don't know what it's about.

3:00 Well, there are a lot of guys in the movie that a lot of women want to sleep with. I think Josh Jackson from Dawson's Creek is high on the list. And Paul Walker, who was in She's All That and Varsity Blues.

3:11 Adam Right.

3:11 And it's about the guy who's got to get caught in a parallel universe.

3:15 Adam It is?

3:16 Drew They sort of sell their soul to the devil. Right?

3:18 It's...

3:18 Adam How do you know, Drew?

3:19 Drew I've seen the trailer.

3:23 I think the one-line version is The Firm at Yale. That's it. The Firm at Yale.

3:28 Adam And speaking of Yale, you went to Brown, didn't you?

3:31 Yeah, and Harvard for grad school.

3:34 Adam Wow.

3:34 Yeah.

3:36 Adam Magna Cum Laude, that's... or Loud Eaves, I like to say. That's... I don't know what it means, but I know it's good. You got to be smart to get that. What is it? The Magna and the Summa and...

3:47 The Summa.

3:48 Drew Cum, Magna and Summa.

3:49 Yes, Cum, Summa. No, Sum. Cum, Magna.

3:52 No, Cum, Magna.

3:53 Drew Sum.

3:54 Adam So Summa is as high as you go?

3:56 Yeah, that's the most.

3:57 Adam But nobody ever seems to get that.

4:00 Drew Somebody gets that. You just never read them. They don't come on a radio show.

4:02 They're in a library.

4:04 Adam But Magna is what you usually hear about the most, right?

4:08 Drew Yeah.

4:09 Cum. You hear about Cum most.

4:11 Adam Yeah, okay. But you got Cum here. You got Magna Cum Laude.

4:15 Drew Yeah, but the Magna is not there if they're in the first run.

4:19 Adam Okay, so you could be Cum Laude.

4:22 Drew Yes.

4:22 Adam Or you could be Magna Cum Laude.

4:23 Drew Yes.

4:24 Adam Or you could be Sum Magna Cum Laude.

4:26 Drew Summa Cum Laude.

4:26 Adam Summa Cum Laude. They don't have that at Valley College.

4:31 Drew No, Valley College don't think that's it. Different schools, it means different things at different schools too.

4:34 Adam And Brown is Ivy League school, but you know, I got to tell you, I don't know how many people know it. I mean, I know people go to Brown now.

4:43 Drew Wait a minute.

4:43 Adam None of my friends know.

4:44 Drew None of your friends.

4:45 Adam You got to go to Harvard or Princeton or Brown.

4:48 Drew Particularly in like late 80s, it was really nice. It was probably the most popular school in the country for high, higher education.

4:54 Well, you know, John F. Kennedy Jr. went there. He left there before I got there, but he was there. Amy Carter went there.

5:02 Drew It was sort of what Stanford's doing now. Really, it was the same idea.

5:05 Claes Van Bule's daughter went there before the unfortunate insulin incident.

5:11 Adam Yeah, with his wife. And did you?

5:14 Maybe that was after.

5:14 Adam And then you went, did you say you went to Harvard after that?

5:17 Yeah, that was for grad school, though. What did you major in? I got a joint degree in law and public policy from the Kennedy School of Government.

5:24 Adam You're much too smart for either this show or acting or this city.

5:29 Drew How many is going to own this city in a couple of years?

5:31 Adam All right, we will take some calls.

5:34 Drew Did you practice for a while?

5:35 Never practiced law. I never took the bar. Law is probably, I apologize to all the lawyers out there, probably the most boring profession I could ever imagine in my life.

5:44 Drew Yeah, you just, you got the degree and that was it?

5:46 Yeah.

5:46 Drew And did you always know you'll be an actor?

5:49 I just, I knew an artist was in me. I didn't know what type of art I was going to express.

5:54 Drew Do you use your knowledge base right now? Are you planning a way that can be put to use?

5:58 I don't use it in a traditional way, but I think you use any kind of knowledge you ever receive in whatever ways on subconscious levels.

6:05 Drew It never goes away.

6:07 I mean, Adam talks about how he uses his knowledge sexually that has nothing to do with it.

6:11 Drew Well, it's not even a thing. It's life experience or knowledge at all, even for that matter.

6:14 Adam It's all theory, but I still put it into place.

6:18 Paul?

6:20 Adam Paul?

6:22 Drew Is it a technical thing or is he there?

6:24 I'm right here.

6:25 Drew There you are.

6:25 Yeah.

6:26 Adam Will you answer then, Paul, please?

6:28 Yeah.

6:28 Adam You're 24. What's up?

6:30 Caller Not much. I just, I don't know if it's my medication, lithium or what it is, but it seems like during masturbation, it's like I almost overheat to the point where I have to stop. Like I just get too hot.

6:41 Adam Yeah. And do you do it during other activities that are vigorous?

6:47 Caller Sometimes I do it too. I don't know if it's a chemical change or what, but.

6:49 Drew Are you on something other than lithium?

6:53 Caller No, that's pretty much it.

6:55 Drew Well, the pretty much part. What's the other thing?

6:57 Caller The other one's like Seroquel, but I just started that one. All right.

6:59 Drew Well, that can do it.

7:00 Adam Really?

7:01 Drew Absolutely.

7:02 Adam Do you overheat when you're masturbating?

7:03 Drew You can change. Yeah, Seroquel can change your vasculotonic, change the way you, orgasmic functions, change a lot.

7:09 Caller Or even like just at night just trying to sleep till I overheat during the night and I almost had to crack the windows during the winter because that's why I like the winter the best.

7:16 Drew Interestingly, the medicines like Seroquel usually make people cold. Yeah. Cold intolerant rather than hot. But it can change all that. So you ought to talk to your doctor about it.

7:25 Adam You also should think about tweaking your technique a little bit if you're overheating when you're masturbating.

7:30 Drew Working too hard.

7:31 Adam That's right. Too much friction.

7:32 Caller Does it change the color of your skin?

7:35 Caller Well, maybe a little bit.

7:36 Drew Only dark skinned people get that change. He's talking to you. If you really irritate the skin, it will pigment or de-pigment.

7:41 Caller Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah.

7:45 Adam White guys get all red and blotchy.

7:47 Drew Yeah, they don't pigment usually. They can. They can.

7:49 It's really bad.

7:51 Adam All right, Paul. Well, listen. You do what I do. You masturbate in the shower.

7:56 Caller Yeah. All right?

7:57 Adam Keep that cold water running on you.

7:59 Caller I've tried that, but that kind of throws things off, too.

8:02 Adam It does. You got to put some of those non-skid strips down on the bottom of the tub, or you could be in a world of hurt.

8:09 Caller Yeah.

8:10 Adam Let me tell you. Let me give you guys a hint. The shower curtain, not a handle. You'll take the whole goddamn thing down with you. That's where they'll find you. Big puddle of semen wrapped up in a shower curtain hit the head. You know, the police chief's in there talking to your parents. Well, we, for the best we can put together, Ms. Corolla, your son was masturbating probably for the fifth or sixth time that evening. Looks like he got a calf cramp, locked up his left leg, went for the curtain. Curtain came down because he put it up.

8:44 Drew And he finished.

8:44 Adam And hit his head on the side of the ball. That's where we found him. It's been five days. It won't be an open casket. Lynne?

8:55 Yeah?

8:56 Adam That's my ultimate fear, really, is to be found somewhere.

9:00 Drew Well, you're going to step that service up, aren't you?

9:02 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, we did it last year in the Man Show. But I really mean this. I want to start a series, a service hill. There's a lot of guys like, where are you from originally?

9:14 Caller I was born in Iowa. And then I grew up mostly in the Bay Area, San Francisco.

9:17 Adam OK. So your parents, you're living out here in Southern California, right? And your parents, your family somewhere else.

9:23 Caller Right.

9:24 Adam And God forbid something should happen to you. Your parents are going to have to come into town and collect your belongings.

9:31 Caller Yeah.

9:31 Adam They're going to go into your house, your apartment, your condo, and they're going to find the porn magazines. They're going to find the whips, the chains, the vibrators, the handcuffs.

9:40 Caller Edible panties.

9:41 Adam Everything. It's all going to be there. And they're going to, your mom's going to, your mom who's already grieving is this is, this is just going to do her in when she sees all of this. Got not to mention the, you know, six foot novelty bong and the rest of the nonsense you have hanging around your apartment.

9:56 Caller But I'm dead already, so why do I care?

9:58 Adam Most what?

9:59 Drew It's now that you care. Is it planning?

10:01 Adam No, no. I'm planning ahead for you.

10:03 Caller Okay.

10:03 Adam What I'm saying is hypothetically you're dead.

10:05 Caller Right.

10:06 Adam But what I'm saying is, is a lot of guys are in this situation, especially living in the LA area. The parents are from somewhere else. They're going to come in and see what's in their apartment. I had this service where you sign up, a little pager goes off when you kick the bucket. We get to the apartment before the folks do. Clean out the entire place. All the porn, all the bongs, a paraphernalia, whatever it is you got in there. Put the potpourri out. That Asian hooker you've had chained to the radiator for all those years. The whole thing, we replace it with picture of mom and dad, Jesus, put a Bible down, basket of potpourri.

10:42 Caller That's beautiful. That's kind of like paying for your grave site before you kick the bucket. It's almost like a mental insurance policy.

10:49 Drew It's an insurance.

10:49 Adam Right. You rest easy.

10:51 Caller That's a great idea.

10:52 Adam Yeah, it is. It's solid. Lynn?

10:54 Caller Yeah?

10:55 Adam If it takes most parents coming out from the East Coast or whatever, a couple days to get out, we get there before they do. All we need is a master key and we sell the pornography and give the proceeds to the needy, the way you would have wanted it. I probably could have a museum or school built once they sell the porn in my house.

11:14 Drew What are you talking about? Yeah.

11:17 Adam Yeah. I'm talking about a college, a four-year college. Lynn?

11:22 Hill Harper Yeah?

11:23 Adam You're 23. What's up?

11:26 Hill Harper Well, me and my husband and my friends had a fivesome.

11:30 Drew I could bet I heard just her voice.

11:32 Adam A fivesome?

11:33 Hill Harper Yeah.

11:34 Adam All right. Is that three girls and two guys?

11:37 Hill Harper Yeah. It was me and my husband, a boyfriend and girlfriend and a friend girl.

11:42 Adam Female.

11:42 Hill Harper Right.

11:43 Adam Yeah. And how did that work?

11:45 Hill Harper Um, it worked out pretty good.

11:47 Adam Yeah. Was everyone drunk or high or something?

11:50 Hill Harper We'd been drinking wine.

11:52 Adam All right. And what room were you in?

11:55 My bedroom.

11:56 Adam And is everyone up on the bed when you do this?

11:59 Hill Harper Uh-huh.

11:59 Adam It's a hell of a bed.

12:01 Drew Who was the fifth person?

12:01 Adam I forget that. Just a female friend.

12:04 Hill Harper Yeah.

12:05 Adam And everyone's naked, right? Yeah. And you and your husband start off on each other or you start off on someone else?

12:13 Hill Harper Um, well, it started out with me and my husband and the guy friend and then he left and went and got the two girls. And then it was just me and my husband and then everybody came in.

12:24 Adam Well, wait a minute. Just hold on there, Drew. I want to find out how else this worked. Then do you go over to the other guy at a certain point?

12:31 Hill Harper Um, well, it started... We started on the girls.

12:37 Adam Yeah. Well, all right. Did you have sex with the other guy?

12:41 Hill Harper Yeah.

12:41 Adam You did?

12:42 Hill Harper Yeah.

12:42 Adam Where was your husband?

12:44 Hill Harper He was next to me with the other girl.

12:46 Adam Having sex with her?

12:48 Hill Harper The fifth girl had left.

12:49 Adam The fifth girl had left?

12:51 Hill Harper Right. The fifth girl.

12:52 Adam You didn't have any feelings when your husband was on top of the girl that was next to you?

12:57 Hill Harper No. Actually, me and my husband are kind of breaking up, I guess.

13:02 Adam Oh, all right.

13:03 Drew Before this happened or as a result of this?

13:05 Hill Harper No, but way before this happened.

13:07 Drew All right.

13:07 Adam So what the hell?

13:09 Drew Do you have a long history of these sorts of endeavors?

13:13 Hill Harper The fifth girl and my husband and I about a year ago messed around.

13:18 Drew Did that destabilize the relationship? Or was it already in trouble?

13:21 Adam Whatever you're trying to get at. And listen, it's good once you know the relationship's on the way out. It's like driving a rent-a-car at that point. You might as well just throw it in the reverse while you're still rolling forward. Who cares? It's over.

13:34 Drew You know, go for broke.

13:35 Adam It's like when you know you're in a dream.

13:37 Drew It just sounds to me that if you're a guy, I understand that's what the guy is doing that. But it just sounds to me that she's going to end up feeling humiliated and less worthwhile as a result of all this, I suspect.

13:48 Adam Do you have any kids?

13:49 Hill Harper I don't have any problem with it. It's the boyfriend and girlfriend are having a hard time with the fact that me and him are together.

13:55 Adam Do you have any kids? No. Good. All right. So you don't have any kids. It didn't work out. He had a little fivesome.

14:03 Drew Why do I get a voice thing when I'm with her?

14:06 Adam She's obviously chaotic. Lynn?

14:08 Chaotic.

14:10 Adam I'm not chaotic.

14:11 Drew Lynn, what do you call what you're describing?

14:13 Adam Where's your dad?

14:14 Hill Harper He's in Chicago.

14:15 Adam Yeah. All right. Good. Just where I want him. And do you like him?

14:20 Hill Harper Yeah, we get along fine.

14:23 Adam You do? All right. He didn't abandon you or anything?

14:26 Hill Harper No, my parents are divorced. They got divorced when I was six. And my dad got custody of me and my brother. And we moved around a lot. And he was pretty strict with me. I didn't lose my virginity till I was like 17.

14:41 Drew Yeah, but still, what mom must have been in bad shape to have...

14:45 Hill Harper Yeah, when I was about 17 and a half, I moved in with my mom. I moved out with my dad. I moved in with my mom. And she feels bad for leaving us. So she pretty much let me do whatever I wanted.

14:57 Drew And why did she leave?

14:59 Hill Harper Just because she couldn't deal with my dad.

15:01 Drew What was Matthew's dad?

15:02 Hill Harper He's very possessive and controlling.

15:06 Adam Yeah.

15:07 Drew Now, wait a minute. Your mother gave up custody or she was not granted custody?

15:13 Hill Harper The impression that I get from my dad, which I mean, he always, you know, would tell me things that my mom wouldn't let me live with her and everything.

15:21 Drew But there's something big missing here. But be that as it may.

15:24 Adam Women get custody unless they're drug addicts, usually.

15:28 Drew That's right.

15:28 Hill Harper Yeah, neither one of them ever.

15:30 Drew But I mean, there's something awful going on with her. Something terrific going on with her. And be that as it may, this is always chaotic. I'm getting an awful feeling just listening to the story.

15:38 Adam Yeah.

15:38 Drew And why do people then go, how chaotic? Me? Please.

15:42 Adam Yeah.

15:42 Drew All right. Please.

15:44 Adam Hey, listen, when a mother gives up her children, and by the way, lets the kids be raised by a guy who they think is dangerous, irresponsible, or abusive, something is horribly wrong with that mother. It's usually they're chasing drugs and they're not interested. But if they're not high, then there's really something wrong. I even prefer they be junkies. You know what I mean? At least it gives them an out. It gives them an excuse.

16:11 Drew We can understand it.

16:13 Adam Yeah. It's like when I hear about a murder, if a guy went around and shot a guy and took his wallet, I'm like, all right. But if he just comes up behind his head and hits him with a hammer, I'm like, all right, now I'm frightened. I got to get a helmet. You know what I'm saying? Doesn't seem to be any motive there. Ray, you're, what the hell? How old are you?

16:32 Drew Ray, you got to smoke less pot.

16:34 Adam 18?

16:35 Wow.

16:35 Adam Drew, tilt that thing down so I can see what's going on.

16:38 What's up?

16:39 Adam Thank you.

16:40 Well, every time I get like a session going on with my friends and we get a sack of weed and it has seeds in it, they always deseed it.

16:47 Caller And they always tell me to like, I'm stupid because I don't care. I'll smoke the seeds if it's in there or not.

16:53 I won't break it up.

16:53 Drew I don't smoke anything, I bet.

16:55 Adam Oh yeah, listen, a turtleneck sweater falls in the bowl, the bong, you'll pop it. Someone shoots a duck and it lands in there, you'll pop that duck, come on.

17:06 They said that if I smoke them, that I'll probably go impotent, so.

17:10 Drew No, I don't know. I get that question asked about every month. I don't know where that comes from. You'll get impotent from just smoking a lot of pot.

17:19 Adam No, you can go blind from smoking seeds, though.

17:22 Drew Yeah, that's what they used to say when I was a teenager.

17:24 Adam Yeah, you know why? Because they pop and hit your face. They explode while your face is stuffed down in front of a lighter and you take an eye out.

17:30 Drew No, Ray, just a pot by itself can make you infertile, have difficulty with fertility and difficulty with sexual violence.

17:38 Adam Good, good. All pluses in your life, Ray.

17:40 Caller Are you smoking straight pot, Ray? Are you smoking the chronic?

17:45 Chronic, but I can afford it.

17:47 Adam How much more is chronic, Drew?

17:49 Drew I have no idea.

17:50 Adam Bill, how much?

17:50 Like a gram is like running about 15 bucks for chronic.

17:55 Adam Well, listen, I'm a little out of the pot loop, although I was getting stoned with a Snoop Dogg last week. I don't mind.

18:02 Drew That was chronic.

18:03 Caller That was definitely chronic.

18:04 Adam Oh, my God. I'm still stoned. That was last Tuesday. I swear to God. Chronic is just good weed, though, right?

18:12 Caller It's laced.

18:13 Adam Oh, it's laced?

18:14 It's got a nice good color. You don't get any seeds with it. It's just straight nuts. All right.

18:18 Adam Hey, Ray.

18:19 Drew Laced with what?

18:20 Caller Well, I mean, different people have different definitions, but some people believe that the truest form of chronic is actually weed that's laced with PCP. That's true chronic. And then there's variations.

18:32 Drew Things that are called chronic.

18:34 Caller Right. Exactly.

18:35 Adam Hey, Ray.

18:36 Drew The original chronic.

18:37 Adam Whatever your problem is, you have much bigger fish to fry than the seeds. You're a marijuana addict.

18:45 Drew Severely.

18:46 Adam You can hear it in your voice. And you're going to have a hard life ahead of you. You got to cut out the weed, brother.

18:55 I saw that new commercial that you're in.

18:57 Adam Done and done.

18:58 Drew What new commercial are you in?

19:00 You got this hot-licking girl that walks by you with a nice rack.

19:04 Adam Yeah, that's her.

19:05 Yeah, she was hot.

19:06 Drew I'm going to be in a commercial tomorrow.

19:07 Adam You are?

19:09 Drew With, what's her name, Doritos, Ali and Andre.

19:12 Adam Really?

19:12 Drew drdrew.com is putting her in a commercial.

19:14 Adam Oh, who cares? That's cable. That's the internet. No one cares.

19:18 Drew Yeah, but it's going to be...

19:18 Adam I'm doing a real commercial.

19:21 Drew No, ours is going to be on Network TV, too.

19:23 Adam Ray's great. I said, hey, Ray, you got a real problem with the marijuana. He's like, you got to quit smoking.

19:27 Drew Yes, uh-huh. Yeah.

19:28 Adam Okay. Anyway, I was watching a commercial, and I said, check it out.

19:31 Caller You're right.

19:34 Adam This is on. I'm glad I'm reaching the kids. Robert. Robert, hang on. Sounds like a bitch, man.

19:45 Caller Yes.

19:46 Adam What's up?

19:47 Caller Hey, first off, I just want to say, you know, I'm really, I'm really happy about what you and Drew do. When I, when I worked over at the Naval Hospital, it, it, it really showed, you know, a lot of the Marines and stuff listen to the show and valued your advice.

20:04 I just want to say thanks a lot.

20:05 Adam Thanks. Are you calling from Maryland?

20:08 Caller Yeah, I'm calling. I live right, right by Bethesda in DC.

20:12 Drew But close your eyes for a second, Adam. How old is Matt? Just now 28.

20:16 Adam Yeah, he sounds old.

20:17 Drew Yeah, and we've had 15 year olds that sound four.

20:22 Adam Holy Christ. I thought you're much older than that.

20:26 Caller I'm a very goal-oriented guy.

20:28 Adam Yeah, I am too, except my goal is masturbating and napping.

20:32 Caller Right. Well, you know, I got a lot.

20:34 Adam I'm still goal-oriented. I mean, why can't I call myself that?

20:38 Caller I don't know. What are your goals, Adam?

20:40 Adam Masturbating and napping.

20:42 Caller That's very good. You shouldn't have any problems then.

20:45 Adam Well, I don't know. I'm out of the house a lot. It's tough.

20:48 Caller You are the man there, Adam.

20:49 Adam Thank you. All right.

20:50 Caller That's why you're the man. Show, I think.

20:52 Adam Thank you there. Yes, man. So, do you have a question?

20:55 Caller Yes, I do.

20:56 Adam All right.

20:57 Caller The question is, this girl that I've known since I was in kindergarten, she was involved with this guy. I found out I was abusing her, you know, like beating her around and stuff. So, last week I walked over to his house and I knocked on the door and I'm like, come out. And so he walks out and I just kicked the ass out of him.

21:19 Adam Great.

21:20 Caller And so now I got all these problems. I got a subpoena in the mail and I got, you know, my father's pissed off at me. The school's all like, we're going to suspend you.

21:32 Drew Oh my gosh. You've probably always been a good guy, huh?

21:35 Caller I mean, I try, I guess. I don't know. I mean, I thought it was the right thing to do, you know? And my dad called my rabbi, you know, the rabbi's calling me and he's all like, Matt, you know, chill out.

21:47 Adam And the rabbi's calling.

21:49 Caller You know you're in trouble when the rabbi calls.

21:51 Adam Wow.

21:51 Caller No, I mean.

21:52 Adam Matt, you should chill out with a nice cold soda.

21:55 What did you do to the guy?

21:57 Caller I'm a little prone to these sort of things.

21:59 Adam Geez, you got to join the JDL. There's not too many scrappy Jews out there. They need them. They need guys like you. Let me tell you something about the Jews. Jews are either complete wussies or they're like trained assassins. They don't have the intermediate Jew. No. You know what I'm saying? Hold on a second, Matt. Quiet down. I'm explaining about the Jews. Like, you know, there's a lot of white guys, black guys, Asian guys, they're like normal in between kind of guys. Yeah, they could kick a little ass. Maybe they could get their ass kicked. Jews, either pure puss or they were in the Israeli army for 15 years instructing a commando unit. And they'll kill you with piano wire. Right. They had no in between Jews. Trained assassin, nebesh wuss. Nothing in between. What is that? You know what it is? The Asian equivalent to that is the hairstyles and just the... Here's what I'm saying. With the Asians, they either have the real super traditional type of guys, a lot of bowing, three-piece suits, all that kind of stuff. Or just the crazy kid with the spiked hair, the tattoos and he's driving the Acura that's lowered down to the ground. He's going insane. There's no in-between culturally for the Asians, but that's a dress thing. That's not the ass-kick thing. The Jews have the ass-kick thing. And Matt, he's over on the Israeli commando side.

23:32 Drew Green Beret.

23:32 Adam Yeah.

23:33 Caller I just want to say something about me. I suppose I am on the Israeli commando side because of the fact that I have Israeli cousins and they're actually sending it for me. And I might actually be an Israeli commando.

23:46 Adam I know. I told you, you tough Jews are in big demand.

23:52 Drew Hey, Matt, here's what you got to do.

23:53 Adam It's true. Did I call this?

23:55 Drew Yes, you called it.

23:56 Adam He's going to Israel to be a commando.

23:58 Drew Before you make that big decision at 15.

23:59 Adam They're over there in Israel going, We found a tough Jew in America. He's only 15. Let's train him and get him over here.

24:06 Drew Go make a man's mat. Make it good. I'm sure if you show remorse and do community service on it.

24:13 Caller But Drew, this bastard doesn't deserve remorse.

24:15 Drew I understand that, but you can't ever take the laws into your own hands. And that's what you've done. And as such, you've violated it. And if you want a whole lot of trouble, I agree, you can bring the guy to task somehow. And you should keep working that angle as you also make it right because you violated the law.

24:33 Adam All right. He's scaring me. I'm glad he's going to Israel now. Hill Harper is our guest tonight. You can find him on City of Angels, which airs Wednesday nights, eight o'clock. CBS also coming up in the debut of, well, I shouldn't say the debut, but the release of The Skulls, which is out March 31st.

24:54 Caller March 31st.

24:55 Adam Yes. We'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Nick. Nick's got the curve in his penis. He wants to know if it's from too much masturbation. We'll explain to him why he's so stupid after this.

25:11 We'll be right back with more.

25:23 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

25:43 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Tomorrow night, our good old friend Henry Rollins will be in here. Always an entertaining show with Henry.

25:56 Drew I saw him with the Grammy. He's doing great.

25:58 Adam You saw him at the Grammy?

25:59 Caller Yeah.

25:59 Adam What was he doing?

26:01 Caller I don't know.

26:03 Adam Spoken word?

26:03 Caller Yeah.

26:04 Adam Hill Harper is our guest tonight. He is in City of Angels, which is on Wednesday nights, 8 o'clock CBS. It's also coming out in the feature, The Skulls. What's your part in The Skulls, by the way?

26:17 Caller Josh Jackson, who's the lead of The Skulls, he and our roommates at Yale. We're both seniors. It's our last year. We're both on the crew team. And he gets tapped to join the Secret Society, this ultra elite, white male, conservative, rich, secret society called The Skulls.

26:34 Adam I thought they were Republicans.

26:36 Caller Well, they are. You know, the actual Skull and Bones, which is a real secret society at Yale. George Bush is a former member, his son, George W. Bush. A lot of really... It's interesting. I think the last three or four people who ran the CIA were Skull and Bones at Yale.

26:51 Adam And is this a science fiction type thing? I mean, does it... Thriller.

26:57 Caller It's a thriller. Straight out thriller in college.

26:59 Adam I thought they were getting into some kind of alternate universe or something you were saying.

27:02 Drew No, no, no.

27:03 Caller That's the matrix.

27:04 Drew They get stuck in this parallel society like no one's allowed to get out of. They know something. You have to kill them to get out.

27:11 Adam Oh, I like those.

27:11 Drew Yeah.

27:12 Adam Yeah, like where everything's good for a little while, then you realize...

27:16 Drew Femme Nikita...

27:16 Adam .things are evil and you can't get out.

27:18 Caller Right. You get it in a little too deep.

27:22 Adam Right.

27:22 Drew Hey, I'm monitoring the chats again at drdrew.com. People want to distribute themselves across them. I'll be happy to take questions out of that. And I was just looking at it a few minutes ago. People want to hear the barf noise of David Allen Grier. That's the most popular question for the night. Well, let's see. There we go.

27:38 Adam David Allen Grier was on the show...

27:40 Drew Log on to drdrew.com and get in the chat rooms and I'll get your questions.

27:43 Adam He was on the show last week. I think I was talking about my anus and he... Well, can you do it again there, Anderson? Or is that too much radio for the kids? You know, the part where David Allen Grier throws up that we were talking about? There we go.

28:01 Caller That's pretty good.

28:03 Drew Oh, Adam, I'm sorry. I thought he was going to keep himself.

28:05 Adam I almost wet myself, yeah. Nick? Yeah, he did that, except he did it for about ten minutes straight. He's awesome. He's on fire. Nick? Yeah? What's up? You're 16 years old, you have a curved penis?

28:22 Drew Also, there's a request for the boogie, which you haven't heard for a long time.

28:24 Adam The Dr. Drew boogie? I'll hear that later, too. Nick, your penis is curved.

28:30 Caller Yeah.

28:32 Adam And you suspect it's because of excessive masturbation.

28:35 Caller Yeah.

28:37 Adam How many times a day can we put you down for?

28:40 Caller It depends, like sometimes five.

28:42 Adam It always depends.

28:43 Caller Yeah, maybe more times.

28:45 Adam Right.

28:46 Caller About five or six.

28:47 Adam Five or six?

28:48 Caller Yeah.

28:49 Adam Okay. It doesn't depend on that much, does it?

28:52 Caller Well, if I'm in a good mood, I'll do it a lot, but...

28:55 Adam Yeah.

28:56 Caller If I'm, like, not feeling that good.

28:58 Adam Right. I'll do it like four times.

29:00 Caller Yeah.

29:00 Adam Right. And other days when you're feeling extra generous, maybe six, seven.

29:05 Caller Eight, yeah.

29:07 Adam That's solid. Yeah, he's 16. That's healthy. A little lighter than I'd like to see for a 16-year-old lad. But you're right on pace.

29:16 Drew Were you, let me just ask the obvious questions up front. Were you sexually abused when you were a little younger? Because we're...

29:21 Adam No, listen, 16-year-old guys can do this.

29:24 Drew I understand, but I'm trying to decide if this is a compulsion or if this is just him. And 10 times a day, you're not having time for much else.

29:31 Adam Well, he's only 5'6. Nick, are you 5'6, a day?

29:36 Caller Yeah.

29:37 Adam Are you 7'8, times a day?

29:40 Caller Not today.

29:41 Adam Not today?

29:42 Caller No.

29:42 Caller How many times today?

29:44 Caller 5'6, yeah. I don't count, really.

29:46 Caller Like, about 5, yeah.

29:50 Adam All right. All right. Yeah.

29:53 Drew You sound sort of ashamed about it, for one thing.

29:54 Caller Are you masturbating right now?

29:56 Caller No.

29:57 Drew He took a break.

29:58 Hill Harper I swear to God.

30:00 Drew But you sound kind of ashamed of this, are you?

30:01 Adam He's on the hand-strengthening ball now, and then he gets back to his feet.

30:05 Caller A whole bunch of people think it's real gross to masturbate, you know?

30:09 Drew Who is that that thinks that?

30:10 Caller Like, well, it's mostly girls, you know, but then some of my friends will think that's, like, for losers who can't get any.

30:16 Drew So, wait a minute.

30:17 Adam Don't hang around with those guys. Get them out of your life early.

30:21 Caller All right.

30:22 Drew My concern is, is this some sort of sexual compulsion? Is there addiction in your family anywhere?

30:25 Caller No.

30:26 Drew Okay. And you really were not abused in any way growing up?

30:29 Adam You don't have a girlfriend, do you?

30:31 Drew Yeah.

30:31 Adam You do?

30:32 Hill Harper Yeah.

30:33 Adam What's she doing?

30:34 Caller I'm just hoping she's not listening right now.

30:37 Adam Well, listen, maybe it's good that he has no wind in his sail at all.

30:40 Drew That's true.

30:41 Caller But I heard from like that girls get more like better erection, orgasm.

30:46 Drew Then men?

30:47 Caller No, from guys with curved penises.

30:49 Drew Oh, that's right. Your question was the curved penis.

30:51 Adam That's right. It depends which way it curves.

30:54 Drew Take vitamin E, Nick. Vitamin E will decrease. It's actually from an irritation scarring on one side of the penis. It pulls it in that direction. So vitamin E and if it starts getting to the point that you have trouble getting an erection or a painful erection, you must see a urologist, okay?

31:08 Adam All right. All right, Nick. Have fun with yourself.

31:11 Hill Harper Okay.

31:12 Adam What do you do? Do you usually watch movies?

31:14 Hill Harper Yeah.

31:15 Drew I watch movies, yeah.

31:16 Adam You have a VCR in your room?

31:17 Hill Harper Yeah.

31:18 Adam No. Okay. That's it. I would confiscate that immediately. There's nothing but evil can come from a VCR in a young lad's room. If you really think about it, what good could come from it? Best case scenario, he's sitting around watching, you know, smoking the band at 3 for the 18th jillionth time. You know, whatever it is. And that's a best case scenario. Nothing good can come of it.

31:44 Caller What did they say? They say young people aren't working out enough though. So what about you may be doing those Tybo videos?

31:50 Hill Harper Yeah, I'm sure.

31:52 Adam Oh, he's breaking a sweat. All right. But it ain't, oh, oh yes. This is the theme from Taboo 2. One of my favorite old porn movies. I sort of broke myself in on, but I was 19 and out of the house. Amanda.

32:07 Hi.

32:07 Adam You're 19. What's up?

32:09 Caller Yeah, I've been going out with this guy for about five years now. And maybe about the last 10 months, we've been having a lot of troubles and we kind of grew further and further apart, where I really don't love him that much anymore. And he kind of manipulates me to get back with him like every day after we get in fights and everything. And I just need to know how to get a clean break away from this guy.

32:33 Drew I don't understand. What is he doing exactly?

32:35 Caller You know, like, what I wanted to be, I would still be friends with him. And he don't want that friend relationship.

32:42 Drew Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That never works.

32:45 Adam And let me explain something, Lays. It's not that we don't want the friend relationship. We just want the sex relationship.

32:51 Hill Harper Wow.

32:52 Drew Wait a minute. Somebody listened to us from London here.

32:55 Adam Amanda?

32:56 Hill Harper Yeah.

32:57 Adam You guys been going out since 14?

32:59 Caller Yeah, I was 13 when I met him.

33:01 Caller All right.

33:01 Adam You just got how old is he?

33:03 Caller He's 20.

33:04 Adam You have to break up. You have to stay with it. It's like quitting smoking or something. It gets easier each day that goes by. The crucial part is the first two or three weeks. Don't give in. Stay on your own.

33:17 Caller Don't talk to him.

33:19 Adam Just break it off.

33:21 Drew Really?

33:22 Adam And don't do that. Any we can still be friends. No, that's just awful. He's not interested in being friends.

33:28 Caller Well, we haven't had sex in anything for like seven months, so.

33:32 Adam All right.

33:32 Caller So, you know, it's just that he does that, you know, if you still love me, then you would, you know, be around me all the time.

33:37 Drew Don't get in. Listen, you got to cut him off. That's the only option you have to focus on this business of being friends. We're trying to let him down. Of course, you don't want to hurt him, but that hurts him more.

33:47 Caller Oh, okay.

33:48 Adam All right?

33:49 Caller All right.

33:49 Adam All right there, Amanda.

33:51 Caller All right, thanks.

33:51 Adam All right. Good luck to you.

33:53 Caller All right.

33:54 Adam Amanda was 19 and sounded like she was from Oshkosh and well into her 40s. Isn't that amazing? Then we had the guy from the Israeli Commandos who was 15, who sounded like he was 35.

34:09 Caller Then we had Ray who was well into his 20s and sounded like he was four.

34:14 Adam Right. We'll have that throughout the night too. There'll be guys you talk to that... Your age, I mean, your chronological age doesn't dictate all that much. As a matter of fact, when I'm in charge, I'm not going to set arbitrary numbers as far as I get your driver's license, buy beer, whatever it is and join the service, whatever that is. I'm going to size everyone up individually. I may see a 12, 13-year-old I think can handle a six pack of beer. Then again, there may be some chicks well into the 30s, so I won't issue a license too. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I just feel I'm going to feel everyone out individually, see where they're at. There's some kids who are 11, it should be in the army. There really are. Then there's guys in their mid-30s who just I won't let buy beer. You know what I mean? Why not? Some people are so different at 18 or 21.

35:10 Drew I know.

35:11 Adam Why just make it so arbitrary that way?

35:13 Drew Adam, you got to hear this.

35:14 Adam I'm going to get to know each and every one of my constituency.

35:17 Drew I'm in the college room at drdrew.com. It's a college chat room. There's somebody with a screen name of MiniMe333 who says they're listening from London right now. Why? I'm trying to figure out how they listen and that there's a huge following in London for this program.

35:30 Adam Really?

35:31 Caller They must be listening on the net.

35:32 Drew That's what I'm figuring. They're not telling me how they listen.

35:34 Adam How do they listen on the net though?

35:37 Drew I'm waiting to hear, but now everyone in the world is going to this room now.

35:39 Adam Here's the important question.

35:40 Drew broadcast.com. Yeah, probably.

35:42 Adam Do we get any money? No.

35:43 Drew No.

35:44 Adam So who cares? Gavin, you're 15. Hey, listen, any of you limies over there, my ex-girlfriend, I want to explain something for a second. My ex-girlfriend, the one that was a stripper, you know, we had a pretty tumultuous relationship for a few years, about seven, eight years ago. Then she dumped me and she got married and she moved to England. And I want to tell her I'm a big star. See that's...

36:10 Drew Oh, you want to get in touch with her?

36:11 Adam Yeah, I want to get...

36:12 Drew Talk to these people in London. There's a whole group of them.

36:13 Adam I want to get in touch with her because she moved out like six years ago, seven years ago. I was still swinging a hammer and I want to let her know I'm a big millionaire, big star, high powered mover and shaker now. I really want her to, you know, be upset. Whatever. And she won't come back from England. And I don't think she knows anything. So I'd like somebody to tell her.

36:35 Drew Why don't you just feel good about the fact that your teachers have to listen to your crap every day?

36:38 Adam Oh, those imbeciles.

36:40 Drew Oh, there's...

36:40 Adam Gammon, thanks for nothing.

36:42 Drew They listen on the web, broadcast.com.

36:44 Adam Gammon, you're 15.

36:45 Caller Yeah, hey. I chewed tobacco yesterday and I chewed like pretty heavily. And lately my scalp has been feeling like really tingly and dry and like I've been really dizzy lately. I don't know what's up.

36:59 Drew When did you, when did you, you chewed tobacco?

37:01 Caller Yeah.

37:02 Drew When was this?

37:03 Caller Um, about yesterday. Yeah, yesterday.

37:05 Drew Well, tobacco is a pretty, chewing tobacco is an amazingly substantial or potent dose of nicotine. And people can feel rather crummy from that for a day. I could see that.

37:15 Adam It can get you sick.

37:16 Drew It can get you sick and it can get you severely addicted. That is actually one of the more difficult addictions to nicotine.

37:22 Caller Yeah, because I feel like I was going to puke and like I'm feeling pretty badly.

37:25 Drew Yeah, so you know, I taste vomit when I hear that sound effect.

37:30 Adam I just love the gurgle at the end that he does. He's such an amazing actor, that David Allen Gure. He does everything well. Fake vomit, he does well. They should give him an Oscar for the fake vomit. Hey, you know what? I swear, you know, I'm going to call him up. I'm going to say, David, listen, you got to get yourself a role where you vomit, because you will get the Oscar. It'll look great on your reel. Hey, Gavin? Yeah. All right. Drink plenty of fluids and don't dip anymore. Okay? All right.

38:03 Hill Harper Cool.

38:03 Adam There you go.

38:04 Hill Harper Thanks.

38:04 Adam All right. Drew, start doing your job over here, stateside, right?

38:08 Hill Harper There you are.

38:08 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a break. When we come back, Zed Yvonne, she's 18, drinks all the time, can't get turned on while drunk. Can't get turned on while drunk? Can't get drinks all the time. Let me just talk to her for one second. Yvonne?

38:24 Caller Hello?

38:25 Adam You can't get turned on when you're drunk?

38:28 Caller No.

38:28 Adam But you drink constantly?

38:30 Caller Yeah.

38:31 Adam Okay. Hold on.

38:32 Caller Okay.

38:32 Adam You're drunk now?

38:33 Caller Almost.

38:34 Adam Okay. Well, I have another shot. We'll go in a commercial. We'll get you all primed up for when we come back. All right? Okay. All right. Hill Harper is our guest tonight. City of Angels is the name of his show, 8 o'clock Wednesday, CBS. We'll take ourselves a little break. And we'll get back with the fast. No, the the true on my loss for words, the quickly drunken. Now, help me here.

39:01 Drew Constantly intoxicated.

39:02 Adam Thank you, Yvonne, after this.

39:05 Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

39:09 Adam Well, it's worth hearing.

39:18 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz. This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

39:43 Adam It's Loveline and Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Henry Rollins will be in here tomorrow night. Hill Harper is our guest tonight. You know him from City of Angels. Wednesday night, it's 8 o'clock, CBS. Also on March 31st, The Skulls will be released, and he will be all over that as well. We left off speaking to Yvonne, who's 18. She's becoming drunk as we speak. Yvonne?

40:12 Caller Yeah.

40:13 Adam You drunk?

40:14 Drew Almost, almost.

40:16 Caller Yeah, almost.

40:17 Adam What are you drinking?

40:19 Caller Tequila.

40:20 Hill Harper Every night?

40:21 Caller Huh?

40:22 Drew Every night?

40:24 Adam You have shots of tequila at home?

40:27 Caller Uh, I went and got a bottle tonight.

40:29 Hill Harper Oh.

40:30 Caller A half gallon.

40:31 Drew You drink hard liquor every night, Yvonne?

40:32 Caller Yeah.

40:34 Hill Harper Oh, all right.

40:34 Drew You understand that's going to be a big problem, right?

40:36 Caller Yeah.

40:37 Drew Want to do something about that?

40:39 Caller Do what?

40:40 Adam The part about you drinking hard liquor every night?

40:42 Caller Yeah.

40:43 Adam You want to try to stop doing that, maybe?

40:46 Caller Uh, I could stop if I want to, just so we get bored. We live in the desert. It sucks, and...

40:52 Drew No, I don't think so.

40:52 Adam Well, Drew, as long as she has a good reason.

40:54 Drew Yeah.

40:54 Adam I mean, you know, living in the desert.

40:56 Drew That's pretty much every addict's desks. They can stop if they want to, but then they find out they can't. And, yeah, at this stage, actually, even as heavily as you're drinking at your age, you might be able to stop if you want to. Pretty much every addict alcoholic can control it early on. It's just as it goes on, eventually, the drives become so powerful that your ability to control becomes completely overwhelmed. Plus, you're hanging out with a bunch of losers.

41:19 Caller Yeah, I'm not hanging out with nobody but my brother.

41:22 Adam Really? Yeah. Well, that's what we mean. All right, Yvonne, what are your plans for the future?

41:29 Caller I'm not sure yet.

41:30 Adam All right, you're going to keep it up in the air? Yeah.

41:35 Caller No, I had a kid when I was 15.

41:37 Adam Okay. Where is your kid?

41:39 Caller He's upstairs sleeping and I'm downstairs.

41:41 Adam Okay. See, when I'm in charge, you'll be removed from that house. Yvonne, come on, you have a kid. Don't you want to be a good mother to the child?

41:50 Caller Yeah, I am.

41:51 Caller I only drink like at nighttime.

41:53 Adam Okay. All right. So if there's a fire or something, you'll just be passed out. Go right through it. Hey, Yvonne, seriously, where's your dad? Where's your mom?

42:03 Caller My mom's upstairs sleeping. My stepdad is sleeping. My real dad is dead.

42:07 Drew How old was he? Were you when he died?

42:10 Caller He was in prison most of my life. So I think I was like 13.

42:14 Adam Okay. Where's the father of your child?

42:17 Caller He lives in San Bernardino.

42:19 Adam Okay. Well, this is as long as you've created a better life for your youngin.

42:23 Caller Yeah.

42:24 Adam Yeah. It's not like the biological father is in prison. He's in San Bernardino, which is his own kind of incarceration, but it's not technically being behind bars, although it's, I don't know. I'd be curious if you took a lot of prisoners and said, listen, you want to stay in for another year? You want to go to San Bernardino? They'd be like, how long? A year? We'll ride it out. I'm very comfortable here.

42:49 Drew Well, I mean, how do we even know?

42:50 Adam Who cares? Listen, Yvonne.

42:53 Caller Yeah.

42:54 Adam Listen to me.

42:55 Caller Right.

42:55 Adam Do not have any more kids. Do you hear me?

42:58 Caller I know.

42:59 Adam What are you doing about it?

43:02 Caller I am on Depo Perva.

43:04 Drew Good. Good.

43:05 Adam Fantastic.

43:06 Drew And do something for yourself and for your child.

43:07 Adam Who's all you want? Just don't have any more kids.

43:10 Drew Go check out AA. Go check out some treatment. Because you really got a mess of all of it here.

43:14 Caller Well, I'm not really messed up. I could quit if I want.

43:17 Drew Yvonne, forget it. Stop saying that because that's not true.

43:20 Hill Harper Can I talk about what I call them?

43:24 Adam I don't care if you're not horny. I don't care.

43:26 Caller I'm glad.

43:28 Adam I hope your vagina dries up like the Dead Sea.

43:33 Drew Alcohol is poisonous to human tissue and it will poison sexual functioning and your brain function. It will really disturb a lot of that. It dissolves the nerves in the pelvic area that's responsible for sexual arousal. So, no surprise that you'll be having some problems.

43:49 Adam Oh, wow.

43:49 Drew She's 18. But she's really going out. It will become permanent in the next 10 years or so.

43:54 Adam Good. Kelly.

43:57 Hill Harper Hello.

43:57 Adam You're 20. Yeah. What's up?

44:01 Hill Harper Well, I've been listening to your show for a really long time. There was always a question that I always attributed to my life, and that was about women dating older men.

44:12 Adam Yeah.

44:12 Hill Harper Yeah. And it was always due to some psychological factor in the girl's life. And the other night...

44:20 Drew Not adults dating other adults. We're talking about young women being taken advantage of by older men. We understand why young women are attracted to older men. The problem is the guys that would engage in that behavior are disturbed by definition. And the question is why would a girl think those guys are okay?

44:38 Adam Unless they're producers, then it's all right. That's the only stipulation and we, Drew, we don't make that point enough. Go ahead there, Kelly.

44:46 Hill Harper Well, a guy called the other night and he had the same question. He was young and he dated older women. It was Friday night. And your answer was that he was just more mature for his age and therefore he related better with older women.

45:00 Adam Right.

45:01 Hill Harper You know, it seemed like.

45:02 Adam It's unfair.

45:03 Hill Harper No, it was the question that I really, that I learned like I took on your show and like about father issues and bad sexual experiences.

45:10 Drew But you had all that.

45:11 Hill Harper Yeah, I'm a candidate. You know, I'm a really good candidate, you know, for being like psychologically sexually screwed.

45:17 Drew Okay.

45:17 Hill Harper And so I attributed to like the advice about other callers that you gave to my life. But then when that guy called and it was completely different.

45:27 Adam That's right.

45:27 Hill Harper And it was, I felt it was really biased. And this thing that I've been trying to address issues that I have.

45:33 Adam Okay. Well, let me, let me address that. First off, the guy called, I think he was 22 years old. He was dating a 30 year old.

45:42 Drew That's our point. Adults dating adults is a totally different phenomenon.

45:46 Adam Shut up. Shut up, Drew. Let me finish.

45:47 Drew Totally different.

45:48 Adam All right. But let me finish my point. Can we shut Drew's mic off so I can finish my point, please? We'd asked him about the woman he was dating about himself and that kind of thing. And we'd sussed it out and basically gave him the green line. There is differences between men and women in many, many topics. On many topics. There really are.

46:11 Hill Harper So there could be nothing psychologically meant, like psychologically wrong with a guy in the same situation.

46:18 Adam There can definitely be issues. Possibly different issues. But in this guy's case, he was 22. He was dating a 30-year-old. He wasn't, he wasn't 15 in dating a 27-year-old.

46:32 Drew That's totally different situation.

46:33 Hill Harper I'm not promiscuous at all.

46:35 Drew Kelly, you're not listening to us at all.

46:37 Adam Who cares what you do, Kelly?

46:38 Drew Kelly, you're not listening to us.

46:39 Adam I know. She's so reactionary. She can't hear a goddamn word I'm saying.

46:43 Drew I'm sorry.

46:43 Adam Go ahead.

46:44 Drew The thing is, adults dating adults is a totally, if you were 22 and told us you were dating a 35-year-old, we'd say, oh, well, it might be an issue for you. It might not. But you know, the guy's in a different phase in his life. Be careful. If you're 18 dating a 28-year-old, or 17 dating a 25-year-old, we're going to take issue with it, whether you're male or female, frankly.

47:01 Adam All right. But listen to me, everybody. People call the show and they go, well, you gave a different advice to a guy than you did to a girl. Let me explain why. Because you're different, you idiots. There's a big difference between men and women. Hey, listen to the show. If there's a 15-year-old girl who calls in, and says she got drunk at a party and sort of lost her wits, and a guy came up and got on top of her, we say call the cops. That's right. If a 15-year-old guy says he had a few drinks at a party and a 6-year-old chick crawled on top of him, we say way to go.

47:38 Drew No, we don't. If he's traumatized.

47:39 Adam We don't tell him to call the cops. The point is there's differences. There's just differences. There really are. It's all right.

47:46 Drew But she's got such issues in this area and is so angry about it, she doesn't even hear the fact that there are no differences in the area that she's addressing.

47:55 Adam Right.

47:55 Drew That it's the same and it's not an issue in that age group.

47:58 Adam Okay. I don't know. I can't tell you what my feelings are. All I can tell is I'm very adamant about all of them. That's the approach I'm taking tonight. I'm not going to articulate myself, but there's going to be a lot of zest and verve behind everything. Speak your truth. That's right. Even if I don't personally know what it is, Hill Harper is our guest tonight. We will take ourselves a little break, and we'll be right back after this.

48:25 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

48:40 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

48:56 Hill Harper Loveline on radio station.

49:00 Caller Okay, bend over. Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

49:04 Caller I can't believe I've heard some of the things that have been said here.

49:07 Hill Harper You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

49:09 Caller KQBZCL.

49:10 Hill Harper This is Loveline.

49:11 Adam I'm Adam and that's Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Our guest tonight is Hill Harper from City of Angels, 8 o'clock, CBS, Wednesday nights. Also, The Skulls, which will hit the theaters the 31st of March. And tomorrow night, we have our old friend, Henry Rollinson here.

49:29 Drew Hey, can I say I've been monitoring the chat rooms at drdrew.com and you guys are not asking questions that I can really bring up.

49:34 Adam You idiots.

49:35 Drew Here's one. What will weed and alcohol do to antidepressants? Well, obviously not let them work properly. And if you have a weed and alcohol problem, that needs to be treated. Don't allow depression to be treated as an excuse for the treatment of addiction. And also, we reached 100,000 registered users at drrew.com this weekend. And it really is quite a lively, interesting community we've got going on.

49:54 Adam 100,000?

49:55 Drew 100,000 registered.

49:56 Adam Your wife registered that many times?

49:58 Drew 48,000 of us. But no, but it's a really interesting community that's building. And people are telling us they're having a great time getting good information. And so I appreciate that. And free condoms. And look, it'll be interesting commercials out starting tomorrow.

50:09 Adam Interesting commercials on what?

50:11 Drew With the Alley Landry and-

50:12 Adam On the TV?

50:12 Hill Harper Yeah, on the TV. You'll see them.

50:13 Adam Really?

50:14 Drew I'll bring them in to show you. You guys watch your tapes all the time.

50:16 Adam On cable?

50:18 Drew Cable and network.

50:19 Adam Network? UPN or network?

50:21 Drew Um, yeah. It's network. I know UPN will be like, it'll be like all the ones where Felicity and all that stuff plays and all those sorts of stuff.

50:28 Adam That's WB.

50:28 Drew WB, yeah.

50:30 Adam Jessica? Yeah, not really network. Jessica? You're 16. Yeah. What's up? I'm sure MTV's nipping at the, nipping, chomping at the bit to get some of those Dr. Drew commercials on there.

50:41 Drew You know what's bizarre? We're gonna have some playing on them.

50:45 Adam They offered you quite a discount.

50:46 Drew Listen to this.

50:47 Adam What?

50:47 Drew Didn't want to play them? Too risque.

50:50 Adam Oh really?

50:50 Drew And believe me, these commercials are as bland as they can be, especially for MTV. MTV is a sort of, and it's about a place where kids get health information.

51:01 Adam MTV is not interested in the message. They're more interested in the crotch shot. They have a sort of retarded logic over there where they can watch the grind for, you know, have a grind marathon. A bunch of underage chicks mincing about bikinis and a guy on a mechanics creeper going in between her legs. But you say pissed off on the station and their tail feathers go flying.

51:25 Drew No, I'm just, I'm teasing.

51:27 Adam No, they're retarded. No, they're not. Oh, who cares? That show's over. They'll never hire you back. Jessica?

51:32 Caller Yes.

51:33 Adam You're 16.

51:34 Hill Harper What's up?

51:35 Caller Well, first I just wanted to let Adam know that I'm not an ego-tard.

51:40 Adam Thank you. You have that young girl voice though. You worry us a little bit.

51:45 Caller Yeah. I just recently went out with my mother's friend who is a 39-year-old man. And he's a trusted friend, you know, for a long time.

52:00 Adam Of your mother's?

52:01 Caller Yes.

52:02 Adam Why'd he take you out?

52:03 Caller Well, he was my friend too, you know.

52:05 Hill Harper Yeah, 40-year-old.

52:07 Caller Huh?

52:08 Adam Yeah, 40-year-old guy. Did someone just come into the cabin?

52:12 Caller Excuse me?

52:12 Adam Okay. So he took you out. Where were you guys going?

52:18 Caller The movies.

52:19 Adam All right. I don't trust him.

52:21 Caller And, yeah, well, um, you know, I trusted him, and he just, uh, he spoke to me in an inappropriate way.

52:29 Adam Yeah.

52:30 Drew Did you tell your mom?

52:31 Caller Um, no, not yet. I don't know how to confront her with it. I just, I feel, uh, I don't know, I'm having all these awful feelings.

52:41 Adam All right. Well, who is this guy? Friend of your mom's?

52:44 Caller Yeah.

52:44 Drew Where's your boyfriend kind of thing or what?

52:46 Caller Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

52:48 Drew Is your dad around?

52:49 Caller Um, yeah, he's around.

52:51 Drew Why don't you tell your dad about this?

52:52 Adam What do you mean around? Where is he?

52:54 Caller He's, um, he doesn't live with me. You know, my mother and father were divorced.

52:58 Adam Yeah.

52:59 Caller And, um, he lives in San Francisco.

53:03 Adam Uh-huh. And where do you live?

53:06 Caller I live in Marina Del Rey.

53:07 Adam Oh, all right.

53:08 Drew What if you told your dad about this?

53:09 Adam So he's just a, uh, quick, quick 11-hour car ride away?

53:13 Caller Yeah.

53:13 Adam All right. He'll be there, uh, this time tomorrow.

53:16 Caller Yeah. So, um...

53:18 Adam Yeah. Do you talk to your dad much?

53:20 Caller Yeah, I do.

53:21 Adam You do?

53:21 Caller You know, we don't have a really close relationship, but, uh... But I'm not, you know, I wasn't, you know, attracted to this guy at all.

53:29 Caller Did he do anything to you physically?

53:31 Caller Um, yeah, you know.

53:33 Adam What did he do?

53:34 Caller He just, um... Well, um... He...

53:40 Adam Was that R2-D2 in the back, right over there?

53:43 Drew Or Mom.

53:43 Caller I just can't, you know, I can't speak.

53:46 Drew Mom just walked in.

53:47 Caller Come here and give me a hug!

53:52 Caller We were at the... When we were in the movie, you know, he was telling me, you know, that he loved me as a daughter and everything, but he was feeling infatuated with me.

54:00 Adam All right, hold on there, Jessica. This guy's a pig. Your mother has something going on with her because she really shouldn't be associating with guys like this.

54:10 Caller Oh, he was... See, I didn't even know that...

54:13 Adam I know, but when you get older, you understand that people should know, especially adults should know, what kind of people they're hanging around.

54:21 Caller He's very intelligent and studious and...

54:24 Adam Okay, and why... How long has your...

54:26 Caller I never expected...

54:27 Adam How long has your mom been friends with him?

54:29 Caller For years, I'm not exactly sure.

54:31 Adam Okay, you just tell your mom. You tell your mom.

54:35 Drew Yeah.

54:35 Adam That's fine.

54:36 Drew You've got to.

54:37 Adam Has anyone ever tried anything like this on you before?

54:40 Caller Well...

54:41 Adam You got that voice.

54:44 Caller There, you know...

54:46 Drew Oh, yes.

54:46 Caller I've had a lot of that, I don't know, like older men. Boys my age don't seem to be interested in me at all, but, you know, men, you know, older men really just... I don't know what it is.

54:58 Adam All right, Jessica. Did anyone ever rape your Malesia?

55:02 Caller Nope.

55:03 Adam Huh?

55:03 Drew Nope.

55:04 Adam Where did you get that voice?

55:06 Caller I don't know.

55:08 Drew It doesn't...

55:10 Adam You're a virgin?

55:11 Caller Yes.

55:11 Adam Okay, good. You keep that hymen.

55:14 Hill Harper Okay.

55:14 Adam You send it to me. I'm going to hang on to it. I don't trust you with it.

55:17 Hill Harper Okay.

55:18 Adam You understand? I'll give it back to you on your 21st birthday or when you get married.

55:22 Hill Harper All right.

55:22 Adam All right. That's my new plan. I want all the virgins who are listening within the sound of my voice, send me their hymen. I'll watch out for it. It's like a designated driver with the vagina. You cannot be trusted. I will. I will look after it. It's like, you know, when you go to a party and people collect the keys, people are getting loaded, I'll hold the keys. I'll give them back to you when I see you're sobered up a little bit. I'll collect all the hymens. I'll hang on to them. And don't worry. I won't just keep them in a hamper or something. I'll go ahead and label them and stuff, you know?

55:57 Drew I'll just catalog them.

55:59 Adam I'll use them. You know what the valet does with the keys? He puts a little tag on it, puts it in a little square in a little box with a lock on it.

56:06 Drew I'm making something like the cleaners. We have those racks that moves around.

56:09 Adam Oh, yeah. There you go, Drew. That's stinking.

56:12 Drew That's better.

56:13 Adam Yeah. Yeah. And you know what's funny about the... I swear to Christ. Remind me to get on to this in a second. I'll get back to the hymens for a second. Every goddamn time I go to the cleaner, I spot the goddamn thing. It's always funny. It's like, yeah, name is Corolla. Yes. Corolla. Yes. What did you have? It was like a red shirt and like a white shirt. And I don't know, two shirts. Well, hold on. And you know, guys start spinning around, spinning around. He'll never see it too. No, I don't know. I don't know what goes on with the labeling at the dry cleaner, but whatever the labeling, it's just a total ruse. They don't label anything. They put it by a label, so you think there's some method to their madness, but no, you know what their plan is? We keep spinning around until you point at something.

56:59 Drew Yes.

57:01 Adam It's a weird, it's like a shill game. They go, Corolla, let's see, look under C, and they have all these labels and numbers there, but here's the reality. They hold their finger on the button until the thing spins around enough. Eventually, you'll go, that one, that one right there, and then the guy will pull it off and hand you, but he'll never go and find it himself, but it'll never be in the slot that he'd put it in. I don't know, I got to get to the bottom of that one day. I'm going to send my team to look into that.

57:26 Drew Well, when you have the Hymen's, you have your own catalog.

57:28 Adam The Hymen's, I will catalog.

57:31 Caller It can be kind of like a club.

57:33 Adam Yeah, the Hymen Club. The parents will write a letter, they'll enclose the Hymen, and I'm also going to need a self-addressed stamped envelope to return it at some point, and put a couple stamps on it, because the Lord knows what postage could be by then, right? It comes up a couple cents every year. Put a nice manila envelope, send that out to me, I'll hang on to it, and then you send me, oh, enclose is the copy of birth control. I mean, sorry, birth certificate, so I can document the age, and then on the 21st birthday, or upon college graduation, or upon marriage, I will send the Hymen back, so it can be paired by the suitor for choice.

58:13 Drew The web is the way to do this, hymen.com. Oh yeah.

58:16 Adam Really?

58:17 Drew Yeah. Your hymen.com should be.

58:19 Adam Your hymen.com. Write that down. Oh man.

58:23 Drew Somebody's taking that name right now.

58:27 Adam House full of hymens.

58:30 Hill Harper Taylor?

58:31 Hill Harper Hi.

58:32 Adam You're 16.

58:33 Hill Harper Yeah.

58:33 Adam You still have your hymen?

58:35 Hill Harper Yeah.

58:35 Adam Would you like to send it in? Can we keep an eye on it?

58:37 Hill Harper Sure.

58:38 Adam Not only will I look after it, but before I send it back, I'll water test it, and I'll give it armor on.

58:47 Hill Harper First of all, I just want to tell you how much I love you, Adam, because you're like my favorite person ever.

58:51 Adam Wow.

58:51 Hill Harper Wow. Wow. Why?

58:55 Hill Harper But my question. Okay. So I got together with my friend who I'd been friends with for about a year.

59:02 Hill Harper All right. Hold on.

59:02 Adam Drew, that's enough monkeying with the computer. You've been at it all night. Now, come on. Give it the show.

59:07 Hill Harper So we got together and we were in a relationship for probably about a month, and that was it. But we broke up because things were just too weird and everything. But then we kind of lost our friendship. And now he's calling me again, telling me he realizes how cool I am, how he wants to be my friend again and all this weird stuff.

59:25 Caller Asshole.

59:27 Drew When was this that you were part of the ways?

59:29 Hill Harper That we were together or when we broke up?

59:31 Drew Both.

59:32 Hill Harper Okay. We were together about two months ago and we broke up about a month ago.

59:38 Adam And he broke up with you?

59:40 Hill Harper No, it was pretty mutual.

59:44 Drew No, I'm thinking she broke up with him.

59:47 Adam You broke up with him?

59:48 Hill Harper Kind of. He was kind of needy.

59:50 Adam Oh, he's done.

59:53 Caller Done.

59:55 Adam Well, that's it for him.

59:57 Hill Harper Well, I think he's a really cool guy. I want to be friends with him.

1:00:00 Drew Well, he doesn't want to be friends.

1:00:02 Adam You're going to torture him.

1:00:03 Hill Harper Oh, okay.

1:00:05 Adam Yeah.

1:00:06 Drew He, by the way, he was in you from the beginning. Yeah.

1:00:10 Hill Harper Yeah, that's what he told me.

1:00:11 Drew Oh, how do I know that magic?

1:00:13 Adam Yeah, guys get in to girls from the beginning. Once in a while, the girls give in to the guy. Then the guy starts getting clingy. Then the girl freaks out.

1:00:21 Drew Then the guy, he's going to be two years into this.

1:00:24 Hill Harper Yeah, but he thought it was really weird too.

1:00:26 Drew Taylor, he's going to dedicate two years to obsessing about you now, I guarantee it.

1:00:31 Hill Harper So why was he such a jerk to me when we weren't like...

1:00:34 Drew He wasn't jerky. He thought he was being cool. He was into you.

1:00:38 Adam What do you mean, when you broke up? Why was he jerk? Because his feelings were hurt and he was trying to salvage some pride.

1:00:43 Hill Harper Oh, okay. Thank you.

1:00:45 Adam How old is he?

1:00:46 Hill Harper He's 17.

1:00:47 Adam Alright, Taylor, listen to me. The best thing you can do for you and him is just to give it a break, six months.

1:00:54 Drew But really, I mean, I see some stalking in her future.

1:00:57 Adam Yeah.

1:00:57 Drew Really, you have to really be firm, okay? Not a friendship for a while. Okay.

1:01:02 Adam I wish, yeah, I wish women had been crueler, crueler and kinder to me when I was a young and such an idiot. Idiot.

1:01:13 Drew You know, you and I share that paradise. We do.

1:01:16 Adam Really?

1:01:16 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:01:18 Adam Hill, didn't you do any of that?

1:01:19 Caller Yeah, I'm with you.

1:01:20 Adam You couldn't get the message when you were 16, 17, could you?

1:01:24 Caller Just available for abuse.

1:01:26 Drew Yeah.

1:01:26 Adam Yeah.

1:01:27 Drew Yeah.

1:01:27 Adam You and you'd get locked in to one woman and that'd be it. You'd start obsessing over it and then she'd notice it. And then you were cooked.

1:01:35 Caller And then a couple of years after high school, you run into and you're like, this is the woman I was into. My God.

1:01:40 Caller Oh, a couple.

1:01:41 Adam I'm 35 now. I see those women. I just started laughing like a hyena. I'm like, listen, how old is your daughter? Do you have any kids yet? All right. Let me get my number. About two years ago, they never gave me a call. It's so sad. They're all fat and old and ugly now. And look at me, I'm a big star. Millionaire, Drew. Literally, millionaire.

1:02:05 Caller You and Bill Gates.

1:02:07 Hill Harper Richard. Hello?

1:02:11 Adam That's my new thing. I tell people, I'm literally a millionaire.

1:02:15 Hill Harper Literally.

1:02:17 Caller Richard.

1:02:18 Adam All right. So what's up? You're 19.

1:02:19 Caller Yeah, 19. Yeah, I've been smoking pot for like eight years. And like a week and a half ago, I had quit and I've been taking Nyquil ever since.

1:02:29 Adam Yeah.

1:02:31 Drew You just switched over to alcohol.

1:02:33 Caller Yeah. Actually, I was wondering about that. Not as much as the alcohol is the ingredient that makes you sleep.

1:02:39 Drew That's alcohol.

1:02:41 Adam And there's something else in there that puts you down a little bit?

1:02:43 Caller I have a bottle right here. I just can't pronounce it. Go ahead and try.

1:02:46 Adam Well, we hadn't smoked pot since you were 11. Maybe you could.

1:02:49 Caller Yeah. Yeah, tell me about it.

1:02:51 Adam Um, let's see. Listen, callers, it's no fun when I beat you up and you go along with it.

1:02:57 Drew Richard, you gotta get involved with the MA. You can't switch on this.

1:03:00 Caller Yeah, that's another thing. I was doing that through the online, and I was wondering, that's probably not as good as going to those meetings, but it was easier to...

1:03:07 Drew You have to go to a meeting. You have to go to a meeting. You have to get a sponsor, or you will start escalating the alcohol or switch over to speed or go back to pot. It just doesn't stop without treatment.

1:03:17 Caller Okay, so yeah, NyQuil is no good?

1:03:19 Drew NyQuil is alcohol and large is a very concentrated alcohol.

1:03:22 Adam Really?

1:03:24 Drew And you can't do this without treatment. It just doesn't work like that.

1:03:28 Adam Now, what is the ingredient in there that makes it hard, though?

1:03:30 Caller I can't do it. It's hydro...

1:03:34 Caller Okay, one second.

1:03:35 Caller I swear to God, I'll get it for you.

1:03:37 Caller All right.

1:03:37 Drew I should have to spell it.

1:03:38 Caller Okay.

1:03:39 Drew Do you want to spell it?

1:03:41 Adam Can you spell it for... Hey, Richard? Do you have to put the phone down to get the Nyquil thing up to your face?

1:03:47 Caller I got a bad eyesight, man. I'm trying to take it out.

1:03:50 Hill Harper All right.

1:03:52 Adam Hey, Richard.

1:03:53 Hill Harper Yes?

1:03:53 Adam Stop using the F-word, you retard.

1:03:55 Caller Okay.

1:03:56 Adam Turn the goddamn radio.

1:03:58 Caller Okay.

1:03:58 Drew Are you ready?

1:04:00 Caller Active ingredient, dextrose, themesanide...

1:04:04 Drew That's nothing. That's nothing.

1:04:06 Adam That isn't?

1:04:07 Drew That will not make you sleep. It's the alcohol that makes you sleep. Really?

1:04:10 Caller How come nyQuil tastes just like Jägermeister?

1:04:12 Drew It's the same thing.

1:04:14 Adam I mean, Jägermeister is a little better for it. But listen, Drew, I know there's something else in there too, because it makes you a little wacky.

1:04:21 Drew Oh, I think there's some stimulant, actually.

1:04:23 I think there's a little decongestant in there.

1:04:25 Adam No, here's what I'm saying.

1:04:26 Drew Maybe there's an histamine or something.

1:04:28 Adam Yeah. Shot of nyQuil is not a shot of booze.

1:04:32 Drew It's more than that, yeah. Well, it's a lot of booze for one thing.

1:04:35 Adam No, no, but it's not a higher alcohol content than a shot of tequila.

1:04:40 Oh, please be a lightweight.

1:04:42 Drew Yeah, not the tequila.

1:04:43 Adam Well, listen, if it's the same as a shot of red wine or something, that's not going to make you weird.

1:04:48 Drew Yeah.

1:04:49 Adam Even if it's a shot of tequila, capital tequila, it's not going to make me weird. But the nyQuil, I can feel it.

1:04:54 Drew OK.

1:04:55 Adam So there's something in there is what he's saying. Whatever it is, get off it. June? Yeah. You're 16. Hey, what's up?

1:05:02 Caller First, I just love you guys. I listen every night.

1:05:05 Caller Thanks.

1:05:06 Caller My question is, I have very strong feeling for my best friend, who's a guy. And we've kind of fooled around before. And coming from a guy's point of view, if I told him like the way I felt, do you think it would change anything or make him like, I don't know, less appreciative of me?

1:05:26 Adam No, if he was drunk, you might score.

1:05:29 Drew But he's not in the way you are.

1:05:30 Caller I tried that already.

1:05:31 Drew Yeah, see, he's not in the way you are, June.

1:05:34 Adam Yeah, so sad.

1:05:35 Drew Right? Am I right?

1:05:36 Caller Well, yeah, I mean, you know, when we made out, he was drunk and so was I.

1:05:40 Drew No, June, he's just not in the same way.

1:05:42 Caller Well, so do you think it would ruin our friendship?

1:05:45 Drew No, I, no, I think-

1:05:46 Adam Guys don't care.

1:05:47 Caller Yeah, he probably already knows.

1:05:49 Drew It might help clear the air a little bit, but don't expect that to compel him into a relationship.

1:05:54 Adam The women are always worried about ruining the friendship. Guys don't really care about it.

1:05:58 Caller He said to me that he actually cared about how our friendship would turn out if we went out, but that was like-

1:06:03 Drew Well, that's the excuse for not going out.

1:06:05 Adam That means something in India. Yeah, listen, guys, they're crude, but they're not that crude.

1:06:11 Drew Well, they're very concerned about friendships.

1:06:13 Adam Well, listen, your ass is a little wide for me, so we'll not be going out. They go, listen, I'm worried about, no, no, you're a beautiful woman. You're very attractive. Oh yes, yes, I finally tried to, I'm just worried about a friendship.

1:06:27 Caller Oh, he didn't lie. He told me my thighs needed work.

1:06:32 Drew Oh, he's all fat.

1:06:34 Caller That son of a bitch. Only my thighs.

1:06:36 Adam You want to go out with that guy? His thighs need work.

1:06:40 Drew He's worse than the average jerk.

1:06:41 Caller I told him his face needed work.

1:06:43 Adam After the thighs?

1:06:44 Caller Yeah.

1:06:45 Adam Maybe you work his face over his thighs. Hey June.

1:06:49 Caller Yeah.

1:06:49 Adam Listen, I don't like where you're heading. You're 16 years old. I see right where you're heading, right for the trailer park.

1:06:55 Caller No, I don't think so. I have college plans and all that.

1:06:57 Adam You do? Yeah, I have college plans too.

1:06:59 Drew Make sure you pursue them. How do you pick that up out of her?

1:07:02 Adam I smell trouble.

1:07:04 Drew What? What?

1:07:05 Adam She's, I don't trust this guy.

1:07:07 Drew Yeah.

1:07:08 Adam I'm worried about her thighs. What college you think you're going to?

1:07:12 Caller Evergreen.

1:07:12 Adam Evergreen?

1:07:13 Caller In Washington state.

1:07:15 Adam Never heard of it. What is it?

1:07:17 Caller It's in Tacoma.

1:07:17 Caller It's a community college.

1:07:19 Adam No, listen. Listen, June, let me explain something. You're 16 years old.

1:07:24 Caller Yes, I am.

1:07:25 Adam Here's, let me explain how schools work, how college plans work. When you're, well, let me explain how life works. Age, I'll explain my life, and this is how I'll usually. Age seven, I'm going to be a pirate.

1:07:41 Caller Okay.

1:07:42 Adam By the time I was nine, I was going to be an astronaut. When I was 11, I'd be a professional football player.

1:07:48 Hill Harper Right.

1:07:49 Adam When I was 13, I was going to Harvard.

1:07:51 Hill Harper Yeah.

1:07:51 Adam Okay. Then 14, 15, I was going to UCLA. No, I was going to Stanford, I think, 14, 15. 16, I was going to UCLA. 17, I was going to Cal State Northridge. 18, Valley College. 19, I was cleaning carpet.

1:08:11 Drew So she's at a community college at 16.

1:08:14 Adam Community at 16, that means she's going to be like a shoveling dung at a turkey farm at 17 and a half. She's earlier than even I was. I didn't get to junior college until 18. I didn't dream of junior college. I didn't have that lofty dream of junior college until 18. So when you're thinking at 16, when you're already, that's like you're thrown in the towel. Hey, you might as well drop out. Hey, here's the beauty of junior college. You go right now.

1:08:43 Caller I will never be shoveling dung.

1:08:45 Adam You can go to junior college tomorrow.

1:08:48 Caller I probably can.

1:08:48 Adam You don't even need to sign up. Just show up. You just walk right in and sit down.

1:08:52 Caller Hey, I have like a 3.8 grade average.

1:08:55 Adam So why are you thinking about junior college?

1:08:58 Drew Why do you think about real college?

1:09:00 Caller Because I don't have the money for it.

1:09:01 Adam Oh, listen.

1:09:02 Caller Their grants and loans and all sorts of things, that money excuse does not go over.

1:09:06 Drew It does not fly, yeah. All colleges have access to...

1:09:09 Adam Don't you got any Comanche in you or anything?

1:09:12 Caller Oh, I'm one of those trained assassin Jews.

1:09:14 Adam Oh, you're Jewish?

1:09:15 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:09:16 Adam They don't have anything for them. No. So you just got to get a higher grade.

1:09:19 Caller I got cheap Jewish grandparents.

1:09:20 Adam Oh, you do. Oh, that sucks. Jewish and poor. Yeah.

1:09:24 Hill Harper No, no. Cheap.

1:09:25 Adam Cheap. It's horrible.

1:09:27 Caller There's still grants and loans for you.

1:09:29 Adam Yeah, but you got to go to Israel. That's the problem. You know, that's the problem. We're getting back to the Jews, but that's horrible. That's worse than just being a white guy and poor, being a Jewish and poor, because it's like the Jews, they went, listen, don't worry about the Jews. They take care of themselves. They don't get any grants for those people. They'll let Spielberg put them through college or something. Then you get that rare. It's not that often, but you get that cheap poor Jew family. Now, you're screwed.

1:10:00 Drew They may be cheap rich.

1:10:01 Adam Well, hold on.

1:10:02 Drew It's really screwed up financially.

1:10:04 Adam Are they poor, too?

1:10:05 Caller No, they're actually quite well off.

1:10:07 Adam OK, Drew is right. Drew had a theory about finding a poor Jewish family in America. He wasn't able to find it.

1:10:13 Caller You can be poor at the same time.

1:10:14 Adam Well, my parents were cheap and poor.

1:10:17 Caller How can that be?

1:10:18 Adam Well, here's how my parents were cheap and poor.

1:10:23 Caller They wouldn't let him supersize his fries.

1:10:26 Adam They didn't have enough money to buy me stuff, but if they did, they wouldn't have bought it anyway. No, no, here's how my parents were cheap and poor. I hope they're listening. Because we were poor, but we were not dirt poor. We were just... My mom was on welfare for a while and a little food stamps and that kind of stuff, but people had... My dad was like a substitute school teacher or something. There was enough. The difference between a pair of tough skins and a pair of regular Levi's that you wouldn't be made fun of at school was about $1.95 in 1975. You know what I mean? It was like tough skins were $9.95 and the Levi's were $12.

1:11:07 Drew You got the tough skins.

1:11:08 Adam I got the tough skins. We were poor, but not so poor that they couldn't have kicked in another $2 and got the goddamn Levi's. But no, that's cheap and poor. See what I'm saying?

1:11:20 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:11:22 Adam Now that we all know why I'm in therapy, we'll take ourselves a little break. Hill Harper's our guest. You can find him on the City of Angels, CBS, 8 o'clock, Wednesday nights. When we come back, we'll speak to Tobias, who's 18, girlfriend, won't give moral sex because he's uncircumcised. She wants to know how to get her. We'll tell him after this.

1:11:46 Mom, I'm so mad at you!

1:11:48 Hill Harper I am so mad at you, mom!

1:12:03 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:12:20 Adam It's the Loveline, Adam, that is Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Oh, Henry Rollins. Tomorrow night, Hill Harper is our guest tonight. He's on City of Angels, CBS, Wednesday nights, 8 o'clock, also The Skulls. The movie will be coming out on the 31st of March.

1:12:41 Caller Every time I hear Henry Rollins name, it reminds me of this African American actor named Howard Rollins who died of AIDS a few years ago. He was on that show in the heat of the night. Great actor. Great actor.

1:12:52 Adam Yeah. What had he, I don't know his full story, but I do remember hearing about it. He had it for, was he living with it for a long time?

1:13:02 Caller Yeah. I think he was living with it for a while. And I think Carroll O'Connor was a huge supporter of his, but he had a lot of drug abuse issues and a lot of things going on. And Carroll O'Connor, I guess, was just really great with him and keeping him on the show, even though he had problems and all sorts of things.

1:13:16 Drew He was sort of relating to it since he dealt with his son's problem.

1:13:18 Caller I think so.

1:13:19 Adam Yeah. He was... He did some features and stuff, too, though, right?

1:13:24 Caller Yeah.

1:13:25 Adam Yeah.

1:13:25 Caller And his big eyes.

1:13:26 Adam Yeah. He was a real intense looking guy. Yeah. He kind of reminded me of, I don't know, Blair Underwood. I'm trying to think of another black actor that he reminded me of. Or maybe I just saw him enough and it was him that was reminding me of...

1:13:43 Caller Of him.

1:13:44 Adam Him. That can happen. Smoke enough pot. Tobias?

1:13:48 Caller Yeah.

1:13:50 Adam What's up there, Tobias?

1:13:52 Caller Just chilling.

1:13:53 Adam All right. Well, let's see. Your girlfriend won't give you oral sex because you're uncircumcised.

1:13:58 Caller Right.

1:13:58 Adam Is that what she says?

1:14:01 Caller She don't say it like... She don't say that's the reason, but I'm having a pretty good feeling that's the reason. Yikes.

1:14:07 Adam Why do you think that's the reason?

1:14:09 Caller I mean, there couldn't be no other reason. If I'm doing her, you know what I'm saying?

1:14:13 Drew Some women are just not into doing this, Tobias. Some women... Somebody's shocked, obviously. Some women are just not into doing this.

1:14:20 Caller We talked about it before any of it went down. She says it was down until she's seen, you know what I'm saying?

1:14:26 Adam That's why you get her to sign that document that I could have sent out to her house. So she has to, you know, in the court of law, we'll have her do that right there in the courtroom. How old is she, Tobias?

1:14:38 Caller She's 19.

1:14:40 Adam And so you figure she's done this before?

1:14:42 Caller Yeah, I know she's done this before.

1:14:44 Adam All right. Here, you're good and clean down there, Tobias?

1:14:51 Caller Yeah.

1:14:52 Adam Yeah. All right. Why don't you take a shower and then peel it back so it looks like what she's used to, and then she won't know the difference. Tell her you got circumcised last weekend. I mean, just give it to her and the way she wants to see it. And get an erection and peel the skin back. Can you do that?

1:15:14 Caller Pull the skin back?

1:15:15 Hill Harper Yeah.

1:15:17 Caller Man, she just be acting funny, though, man.

1:15:20 Adam Listen, I don't know what to tell her. Do you want us to talk to her?

1:15:23 Caller Huh?

1:15:24 Adam You want us to talk to her?

1:15:26 Caller Yeah, you can try to call her.

1:15:27 Adam Yeah, where is she? Is she at home?

1:15:29 Caller Huh?

1:15:30 Adam Is she at home now?

1:15:31 Caller What time is it?

1:15:32 Adam I don't know. Where are you calling from?

1:15:34 Caller Cincinnati, 2.30. I'm still at work right now.

1:15:37 Adam She's at work.

1:15:38 Caller You can call her at work though.

1:15:39 Hill Harper All right.

1:15:40 Adam What kind of place does she work at?

1:15:42 Caller At the Unho Strip Club.

1:15:43 Hill Harper Perfect.

1:15:45 Adam Do they have a paging system there?

1:15:47 Caller Yeah, they got a... She has a pager.

1:15:49 Adam She does?

1:15:49 Hill Harper Yeah.

1:15:50 Adam All right, hold on a second. We'll see what we can do with her. Hold on there, Tobias. Hey, Danielle, let's see if we can find Tobias' girlfriend. She's working over at Frigid Girls, the strip club in Cincinnati for girls that don't perform oral sex. Boy, she could lose her license. They find out about this.

1:16:13 Drew It's not like it's a permit.

1:16:17 Adam You know what I haven't done in a while, but I forgot the strip club DJ. I've been in a few strip clubs lately. Hill, I don't know if you get out to these things, but only research only. Research. You know, it's like every single one of them, there's some sort of at least, well, in California, Nevada, Seattle, when I've been all over the place, I've been to strip clubs, it's always the same, same guy. Catelyn, Catelyn, up to the stage, up to stage four. I'm always like, do they really need these guys? I mean, you know what I'm saying? Just spin the goddamn record and shut the hell up. Play the cherry pie by Warren. Play all that good, bad, 80s, you know, poison in Motley Crue stuff and all the girls, girls, girls and all that. And then shut up. Would you shut up, you idiot? I'm trying to achieve an erection here. I can't do it with your inane ramblings. And no one can understand a word you're saying, by the way.

1:18:06 Drew It's like humans talking to a dog, the dog's view of the human speech.

1:18:09 Adam The dog understands more stripper, more, more, more nudie bar DJ than I do. I have no idea what these guys are ever talking about. They just got to, I'm going to run, I'm going to run a strip club where you just play classical music and there's no, and I have Tony Randall come in and speak to the Jets.

1:18:30 Caller That already exists, it's the White House.

1:18:33 Adam Sam?

1:18:34 Caller Yeah.

1:18:35 Adam You're 28 years old.

1:18:38 Caller Yeah.

1:18:38 Adam Yeah, what's up?

1:18:40 Caller I had this girlfriend from two years ago and I performed oral sex with her.

1:18:46 Drew Hang on a second, Sam. Sam is 28, Tobias was 18.

1:18:49 Adam Yeah, Sam sounds younger than Tobias.

1:18:52 Drew Yes, by a long shot.

1:18:53 Adam That's right. Sam?

1:18:55 Caller Yeah.

1:18:55 Adam Sorry, keep going.

1:18:56 Caller No problem. So anyway, about a couple of years ago, I was with this one girl and performed oral sex with her. And it was the first time she's ever had it. And I don't know, I guess I was just average, just not going in.

1:19:14 Drew I mean, a routine experience.

1:19:18 Caller It was, yeah.

1:19:19 Drew Okay. What's the question?

1:19:20 Caller And the next day, she complained a lot about, well, she tells me it was really great, but then after that, she complained that she had an infection. And just, I was just wondering, like, because the mouth is just so full of all sorts of bacteria and stuff, I just was kind of hesitant to do it again to anyone for a while.

1:19:42 Drew No, no, no, no, no, not unless you have chlamydia or gonorrhea in your mouth or herpes. Those are the only things that you really be likely to transmit from your mouth, which you can if you have those things. But if you don't, the usual mouth flora can just sort of upset the usual environment there and maybe trigger off a vaginitis, a yeast infection or a bacterial vaginitis.

1:20:02 Adam A couple of years ago, Sam?

1:20:04 Caller Yeah, about two years ago. I mean, my hygiene is good. I mean, I brush my teeth twice a day, that sort of thing.

1:20:09 Adam Yeah. So it was two years ago since you went down on a woman?

1:20:13 Caller Yeah.

1:20:13 Adam And you haven't gotten back on that horse again?

1:20:16 Caller I kind of, well, I was hesitant to it for a while.

1:20:19 Caller And then now I'm with a woman and I'm performing oral sex again.

1:20:23 Adam Fantastic.

1:20:23 Caller I was just afraid of this issue because I was just afraid of it happening again.

1:20:27 Adam It's a real story of a triumph over a tragedy.

1:20:30 Drew You're gay.

1:20:30 Adam All right, Sam, you're fine. Everything's good.

1:20:33 Drew You can trigger vaginal infections by just about anything. Okay, it's basically an overgrowth of the yeast or bacteria that are normally there.

1:20:41 Adam Okay? You throw a stuffed animal at your woman's vagina, she'll get an infection. Do you understand? They're very prone to infection over there. Very, very difficult to figure out the vagina, right, Drew? George?

1:20:56 Caller Yeah.

1:20:57 Adam What's up?

1:20:57 Caller What's up? What's going on?

1:20:59 Adam You're 15.

1:21:00 Caller Yeah. Well, I had sex for the very first time last week. And I noticed like a little red spot and I guess it kind of spread. And now they kind of they went away, but they're like they almost look like pimples.

1:21:23 Adam On your penis?

1:21:24 Caller Yeah.

1:21:25 Adam Yeah.

1:21:25 Drew On the pants or on the pubic area?

1:21:26 Caller No, on my head. I'm uncircumcised.

1:21:30 Adam Where was the you didn't wear a condom, did you?

1:21:34 Caller Stupidly no.

1:21:35 Hill Harper All right.

1:21:35 Adam Who's the gal?

1:21:37 Caller It's a girlfriend that I've been going out with her for a while.

1:21:40 Hill Harper Yeah.

1:21:41 Adam Was she a virgin too?

1:21:42 Caller Yeah.

1:21:44 Hill Harper All right.

1:21:45 Adam Well, it didn't sound too bad. But what do you think, Drew?

1:21:48 Drew It just sounds like some sort of irritation. It doesn't sound like much of anything else. But these kinds of things need to be seen when there's something to see. And once they've gone away, it's very hard to then sort of retrospect.

1:21:59 Adam Did it go away, George? No, not yet.

1:22:01 Drew All right. Let a doctor look at it. It just sounds like just some sort of dermatitis or irritation. What? Can be nothing. Sounds like nothing. Can be yeast. Can be a lot of little things. There's various kinds of irritation.

1:22:13 Adam Did you go at it for a while?

1:22:14 Caller Well, like, well, I went at it for once and then I kind of wanted to do it again. And so I went back again and it was fine after that. And the next day I like noticed just like a little fun.

1:22:28 Caller I was like, all right.

1:22:29 Adam How long did you go at it the first time? 30 seconds, five minutes, maybe five minutes.

1:22:35 Caller Yeah. And then the second time I did about six, six minutes.

1:22:38 Adam Yeah.

1:22:39 Caller And why didn't you use a condom?

1:22:42 Hill Harper Well, I was stupid.

1:22:43 Caller I hadn't, you know, you know, my little fellow, you know.

1:22:49 Adam How do you know it was five minutes and then six minutes?

1:22:51 Caller Because I had a phone playing.

1:22:55 Hill Harper Okay.

1:22:56 Adam All right, George. But listen, it's not musical chairs, you know, when the song ends, you don't have to finish.

1:23:01 Caller I understand.

1:23:18 Hill Harper Wow.

1:23:23 Adam All right, George. All right.

1:23:24 Hill Harper Thanks a lot. All right.

1:23:26 Adam Every guy sounds exactly the same. I'm starting to think it's just a microphone they get. It's a certain strip club microphone. No.

1:23:35 Caller No.

1:23:40 Adam No, Anderson. No lightning round tonight.

1:23:42 Hill Harper Thank you.

1:23:43 Adam I know. Oh, Anderson's saying the same thing. It's the lightning round.

1:23:47 Hill Harper Oh, yeah.

1:23:47 Drew It's the same voice. Same person.

1:23:49 Adam Same guy.

1:23:50 Drew They're tired off the radio.

1:23:52 Adam You know why the guys are so excited? Because they're working at a nudie bar. They're getting paid. They're playing records and chicks are dancing around naked and they're banging half of them because they're always driving home and so it's like, hey, you're new, huh, Tammy?

1:24:07 Hill Harper Uh-huh.

1:24:08 Adam Is Tammy such a real name? Oh, yeah.

1:24:10 Hill Harper Okay.

1:24:12 Adam You want to do some coke in the parking lot? I'll give you a ride home. These guys, these strippers, they seem like super women, but the reality is the club closes down, all the guys leave and then it's just 25 chicks all standing around in sweatpants ready to go back to their one bedroom apartments with no boyfriends around. These guys got themselves a new El Camino, going to drive the chick home. I'll keep an eye on you. Oh, that's a good kick. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:24:43 Back once again with a Loveline, Loveline, Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew, we'll be right back before they know it.

1:25:01 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:25:20 Adam All right. It is Loveline. I'm Adam LS. Drew. Hill Harper is our guest tonight. You can find him on City of Angels, CBS, Wednesday nights, 8 o'clock. Also, you'll see him coming up on the big screen in The Skulls, which is the 31st of March. And if you want to go by the video store and rent pumpkin head too. You might find us, you might find him acting in that. All right, Erica, you're 19 years old, what's up?

1:25:51 Hill Harper Yeah, last night I lost my virginity and I don't know how to feel about it. I feel...

1:26:02 Drew You don't sound too happy.

1:26:03 Hill Harper No.

1:26:04 Drew Was it something you were planning not to lose till marriage or something?

1:26:08 Hill Harper Yeah.

1:26:10 Adam Erica, you're 19, you sound like you're 11. That's a good answer.

1:26:16 Drew Was this something forced on you?

1:26:18 Caller No.

1:26:20 Hill Harper We had a lot of drink.

1:26:21 Drew It's just so interesting talking to... We just talked to a male who just lost the virginity at 15. He was like, he's on top of it. Women at 19. Oh, mistake. Mistake.

1:26:30 Adam Yeah.

1:26:31 Drew And that's the way it always goes.

1:26:33 Adam Well, he had five minutes and then six minutes. You know, it's funny, though, with guys, five minutes and then the next one is six minutes and then it drops. Four hours and 22 minutes. I mean, that third one's a bitch. It's not five minutes, six minutes and seven minutes. Five minutes, six minutes, three and a half hours.

1:26:52 Drew Two days.

1:26:53 Adam Two days. All right, Erica, why is it that you sound like you're 11 when you're 19?

1:26:58 Hill Harper Well, I was abused a lot.

1:27:00 Hill Harper Oh, OK. In what way?

1:27:01 Drew Physically abused?

1:27:03 Hill Harper About everything.

1:27:04 Hill Harper Really?

1:27:05 Drew How could you be a virgin?

1:27:06 Hill Harper Well, not sexually abused. I've been verbally, mentally and physically. And all right.

1:27:11 Drew Well, there it goes.

1:27:12 Adam Some sexual abuse?

1:27:14 Hill Harper Uh-huh.

1:27:14 Adam Some sexual abuse?

1:27:16 Hill Harper Yeah. No sexual abuse.

1:27:18 Adam No sexual abuse.

1:27:19 Drew Still be careful that sex doesn't become a way of acting out.

1:27:23 Adam I don't know. 19. I don't I don't think so.

1:27:26 Drew Yeah. But now we kind of turn on here.

1:27:28 Adam We've released the hounds.

1:27:30 Drew Yeah. Especially if she's ashamed and angry and upset about this.

1:27:33 Adam Do you have a boyfriend, Erika?

1:27:35 Caller No, no, no.

1:27:39 Caller Who was this guy?

1:27:42 Hill Harper I met him last weekend and we saw each other again this weekend and I don't know where we stand with each other and I don't want to I want to ask him.

1:27:57 Adam Ask him what?

1:27:58 Hill Harper Know how to ask him like where we stand within a relationship or was it just like a boy?

1:28:03 Caller But of course.

1:28:05 Adam Erika, what are you doing now with your life?

1:28:09 Hill Harper I'm screwing up, sorry.

1:28:11 Caller Oh, okay. Hey, Erika.

1:28:13 Caller Yeah.

1:28:14 Adam You living at home?

1:28:15 Hill Harper Yeah.

1:28:16 Adam And your mom around?

1:28:19 Caller Yeah, mom's around.

1:28:20 Adam Is she okay?

1:28:21 Hill Harper Huh?

1:28:22 Adam Is she all right?

1:28:23 Hill Harper Yeah.

1:28:23 Adam Where's the abusive guys?

1:28:26 Hill Harper Well, I've been abused from doctors to my grandparents, and teachers, and...

1:28:39 Adam Oh, boy. And where's your dad?

1:28:42 Caller He lives in Orange County.

1:28:43 Adam Did he start the abuse?

1:28:46 Hill Harper No.

1:28:48 Drew Did the teachers abuse you?

1:28:50 Hill Harper Huh?

1:28:51 Drew Did you say teachers abused you?

1:28:52 Hill Harper Oh, yeah. My teacher in the second grade abused me.

1:28:55 Hill Harper What did they do?

1:28:56 Hill Harper Uh, she just, like, slapped me.

1:28:59 Drew Slapped you?

1:29:00 Adam Now, listen, you think that's bad. Mr. Gregory failed me out of Driver's Ed. Fifteen and a half. You know what kind of summer that was for me at 16? No license? Driver's Ed. Failed Driver's Ed. Not Driver's Training. Driver's Ed. You know what it takes to fail Driver's Ed? You have to commandeer one of the two wheeled steering wheeled cars and drive it through the classroom. That's the only way you can fail Driver's Ed and then go out the window like the Blues Brothers.

1:29:32 Drew Jesus Christ. And a doctor abuses you? What happened with that?

1:29:36 Hill Harper It's not really clear, but he just, when I was about third grade, when I got like a physical or something, I can't remember what it was for, but he just like touched me and...

1:29:53 Adam Well, hold on a second there, Erica. Let me talk to my partners, Hill and Drew. Starting to get the feeling, Erica's... Maybe Erica wasn't touched as much as she thought.

1:30:04 Drew She interprets everything, isn't it?

1:30:05 Adam Maybe something's up with her mind a little bit.

1:30:08 Drew Well, but that's part of, you know, a victim's a victim, and some part of that role is making everybody a victimizer.

1:30:17 Adam Right.

1:30:18 Drew Not actually finding the victimizer. If you can't, casting them in that role, even if they're not that.

1:30:22 Adam Right. All right. All right. Well, Erika, use protection. Don't get pregnant. Stay in school. Or if you're not in school, go get in school. Move out of the house.

1:30:31 Caller Get a boyfriend.

1:30:32 Drew Get a real person to be in a relationship.

1:30:33 Adam Start reading, go on long walks, exercise, eat 15 servings of tofu, leafy vegetables every day. You ever see those charts where they tell you how much of whatever you should be doing? Yeah. And it's like, well, you should drink 15 gallons of spring water every day. Like, does coffee count? No. What about soda? No. Christ. And then 140 servings of green leafy vegetable. How about like a corn dog? Would that count? The corn? No. And what will happen if I don't do it? You'll collapse? Diabetic coma? You're like, I haven't done any of that ever in my life. I'm like, I feel fine. What are they talking about, Drew, with all that nonsense? You know, 15 servings of fruit and vegetable. Now does anyone do that?

1:31:25 Drew Yeah.

1:31:25 Adam Nobody does that.

1:31:26 Drew Yeah.

1:31:27 Adam No one drinks, you know, four quarts of water every day. Nobody does any of that. Everyone's fine. The hell are they talking about?

1:31:34 Drew Hey, you remind me about corn dogs. I was at Disneyland over the weekend and they have corn dogs. They're the size of like your arm.

1:31:40 Adam Rhino corn dogs.

1:31:42 Drew And I was going to say, have you seen what they're doing down there?

1:31:44 Adam At Disneyland?

1:31:45 Drew Oh my God.

1:31:46 Adam What are they doing?

1:31:47 Drew They're building a monstrosity, this new theme park.

1:31:50 Adam Drew, you're in way over your head with those kids.

1:31:52 Drew Oh yeah.

1:31:52 Adam Drew takes his kids. Drew is so whipped by his kids. It's not enough that he takes them to Disneyland every other weekend, but they stay there.

1:32:01 Drew Yeah, they stay at Disneyland Hotel.

1:32:02 Adam They stay at the Disneyland Hotel. Oh, those kids. Oh, they're going to be ruined.

1:32:06 Hill Harper Spoiled.

1:32:07 Drew They're taking care of us there too.

1:32:09 Hill Harper Yeah.

1:32:11 Adam Drew, they're sending some women over because there's, there's no, please, every other weekend, you're with those kids in the hotel. You don't realize, I went to Disneyland once every nine years and my dad wouldn't even let me look at the hotel. He don't want me to get any ideas. Just keep walking. Look at your feet and keep walking, son. That's what he'd yell. I'd say, what's that, the Matterhorn?

1:32:35 Hill Harper Look down!

1:32:37 Adam Don't you eyeball that Matterhorn, son. You keep walking straight. What's that? Is that the hotel or that? That's a maximum security prison.

1:32:45 Caller You want to go in there?

1:32:46 Adam Be beaten to sodomize and take your shoes from you. All right, just keep walking, son. I used to go to New Zealand during the day when they had the E-ticket, the R-ticket, the F-ticket and all that stuff. You'd use that E-ticket once on the Matterhorn and then you're aft for the rest of the day.

1:33:04 Caller You got to go to Pirates of the Caribbean.

1:33:06 Adam You got like an E-ticket, you got like two E-tickets in the pack. You get to go on the Matterhorn, the Pirates of the Caribbean. I'd shoot my wad in the first 20 minutes. 14 hours of watching my sister on the teacups after that.

1:33:19 Drew Riding the fire engine down Main Street.

1:33:22 Adam All right, I've done more laps around this than Richard Petty's done around Talladega and this goddamn fire engine. I'm begging to leave. It is now.

1:33:34 Hill Harper All right, Tamara?

1:33:36 Hill Harper Yes.

1:33:36 Adam You're 19.

1:33:37 Caller Yes.

1:33:38 Adam What's up?

1:33:39 Caller What's up?

1:33:40 Hill Harper Well, I've been with this guy for almost going on nine months now. And he keeps on insisting to have anal sex with me.

1:33:49 Caller And I keep telling him no, because we did it once before.

1:33:52 Caller And it hurt. Ouch!

1:33:54 Adam All right. Well, that's enough. Fine.

1:33:56 Drew That's it.

1:33:57 Adam If he keeps going, you cut him off.

1:33:59 Drew Yeah, cut him off generally, you understand?

1:34:01 Adam Yeah.

1:34:01 Drew Just say, this is getting so uncomfortable for me, there'll be no sex period.

1:34:06 Adam Go ahead. Lay the law down.

1:34:07 Drew Women got to understand they are in control. They are in the driver's seat.

1:34:11 Adam That's right.

1:34:12 Drew Go right ahead.

1:34:14 Adam Yep. You want to pull the car over? Go pull it over. Pull it right to the shoulder. He'll be masturbating by one of those call boxes. All right, Tamara? You did it once. You didn't like it. You fulfilled your duty. Or actually, he filled your duty.

1:34:30 Hill Harper Thank you.

1:34:32 Caller All right, there.

1:34:33 Adam Drew, where are we going here?

1:34:34 Drew I think we're going right.

1:34:35 Adam Thank you.

1:34:36 Caller Thanks very much.

1:34:37 Adam All right, real quick. Jason?

1:34:40 Drew Yeah.

1:34:40 Adam You've been on hold for 96 minutes.

1:34:42 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:34:43 Adam You have 15 seconds. You ready?

1:34:45 Hill Harper Go. OK.

1:34:46 Caller I've been like depressed lately. I've been I've started smoking pot and I've just felt like practically like crap about myself.

1:34:56 Drew Did your grades drop off, too?

1:35:01 Caller Um, in a way, I've stopped being doing my homework.

1:35:06 Drew Jason, you've got to get that. This is classic signs of a depression in your age. You need to get that treated. You're going to screw up if you don't get it treated. Okay, seriously, you got to talk to your doctor, your parents, your school teacher, somebody about how you're feeling. This is totally treatable. It's important to treat it because you're going to fall right in your face if you don't and screw up things that could put you in a bad position moving forward in your life.

1:35:29 Caller All right.

1:35:30 Adam Yeah.

1:35:31 Caller How would I go about getting?

1:35:35 Adam Talk to your school. Talk to your parents. Tell them you don't tell them about the pod. Just tell them you're feeling kind of bad.

1:35:40 Drew Parents, teachers, counselor at school, regular doctor, whoever it is, tell an adult who is in a position to help you.

1:35:45 Adam It happened to me in high school. Yeah, they talked to my parents. I'd been getting Fs and Fs. And then I got depressed. I was getting Fs, Fs, and Fs. And that's when the red light went off. My parents knew there was trouble. Yeah, I'd been getting Ds, Fs, Ds and Fs and Fs. And then I was getting Ds and Fs and Fs and Fs. And that's when they snapped an act.

1:36:08 Drew You got F and Fs.

1:36:09 Adam I got F and Fs. We'll take a break.

1:36:12 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:36:37 Adam Ha ha, well now.

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Sunday, February 27, 2000