Episode 1000754887653

0:54 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:57 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:03 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:05 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:07 Voiceover Loveline.

1:09 Voiceover It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Fax number 3108-5444-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.

1:23 Drew I heard we were ripped off by Dr. Pepper commercial too. Did you hear about this?

1:27 Adam Somebody said something about that but I didn't see it.

1:29 Drew I haven't seen it either. Somebody said, hey, you're on TV. I didn't hear anything about it.

1:33 Adam I still have yet to see my commercial and people are starting to get upset at me saying I've seen it a thousand times.

1:39 Drew I've seen it a thousand times and it still pisses me off.

1:42 Adam I don't believe you. So my funny partner, my talented partner Jimmy, today I spent a little time with, he said, I said, Jimmy, I still have not seen my commercial. By the way, when we were sitting in his house watching TV, we saw his Miller Lite commercial twice. And let me say something real fast. Jimmy and I had this discussion. Rebecca Romaine Stamos is the very attractive woman who's in the second commercial with her, but with the perm in the hair. And I looked at the commercial and I said, that is one hot chick, but her hair looks like ass. And Jimmy said, yeah, it does. And then Jimmy said, there ain't a good-looking woman in the world whose hair looked any better with a perm. It always looks worse, listen to me, ladies. Your hair looks worse with a perm. Every guy on the planet thinks so. You want to know what guys like?

2:33 Drew Hair extenders.

2:33 Adam Guys like nice, smooth, straight, silky-looking hair.

2:38 Drew So if you're gonna do something to it, you put a weave into those extenders.

2:40 Adam If you do something, just comb it.

2:42 Drew Don't mess with it.

2:43 Adam And then I said to Jimmy, guys don't like this, so why are all these models always doing this kinky hair? And then I said, gay guys are their hair stylists, and they ain't exactly guys. I mean, technically they're guys, but they don't look at the person as a whole, they just see the hair. And they think, what can I do to this hair? Let's screw with it. Ladies, and then you listen to the gay guy, because he's a so-called hair expert. So, you spend 120 bucks, the gay guy screws with your hair, and then you go out in the street and you look like S. Don't listen to him. Comb your goddamn hair and leave it alone.

3:20 Drew Women are sort of more interested in style than they are to attractiveness to men, even.

3:24 Adam Rebecca Romaine Stamos is a beautiful-

3:26 Drew Like she's got something to worry about. So, what is she worrying about?

3:29 Adam She spent a lot of time and money- Making herself look worse than she normally looks.

3:35 How are you doing?

3:36 Adam Look at your hair. Wow. I knew we had that drop. That is a waste of my time. As a viewer, I don't want to see her with that kinky crappy hair. Same thing with Catherine on our show.

3:50 Drew I know. I knew that's what you're thinking. She's beautiful.

3:54 Adam She's got beautiful blonde hair. That's the new girl on our show.

3:57 Drew They don't just kinky, they crimp it.

3:59 Adam She's got great long straight blonde hair. It looks great and I'm sure it looks better at the market than it does after our hair guy gets done screwing with it. And he's just jacking off. That's what he's doing. He's not trying to make her look better. He's just spanking himself. That's it. You know what I'm saying? Listen, all you gay hair guys out there, just comb it and leave it alone. Don't mess it around. Anyway, saw his commercial two times and then told him, listen, I swear to you, I've never seen my commercial yet. And he said, well, just watch this. Watch, watch football. You'll see it. So I said, all right. So I was on the phone. I was in my room about five hours later. I had the TV set on, but the sound turned down. I was talking on the phone. I'm staring out of my bathroom window. There was a call on the other line. It was Jimmy. Put it on the game. I said, it's on the game. He said, well, look. And I turn around and look. I saw my head and then it went and it went away. So I actually had the TV on the same channel as the commercial. I was standing in the room. I was gazing out the window. Deep in thought as per usual. All right. How was your Thanksgiving there, Drew?

5:04 Drew It was nice.

5:05 Adam What did you do?

5:06 Drew Hung out.

5:07 Adam That's nice.

5:08 Drew Seriously. Just hung. Slept a lot.

5:11 Adam I had to schlep my ass to Simi Valley.

5:15 Drew Well, Thanksgiving Day. We had a nice Thanksgiving itself.

5:17 Adam Do it at your house? Yeah, you got a nice place. Yeah, that's nice.

5:21 Drew It's a fun place. Everybody has fun when they're there. Always. Even 75 kids, 20 adults, whatever it is.

5:26 Adam How many people you have over your house?

5:27 Drew About 15, something like that.

5:28 Adam Wow. That's nice. You know what's nice? You can unbutton your pants and never button them again when you're at your house.

5:34 Drew Yeah.

5:34 Adam You eat too much, you undo the pants.

5:36 Drew Put on your fleece pants.

5:38 Adam You kick your loafers off, put your slippers on and you can just go retire. You don't have to go make that hall back from Simi Valley. I don't know how I manage every year, but I always get invited. I always do something that's a million miles away. It's like we're going to your cousin's house in Oregon. Start driving two days before. We're in Simi Valley and Simi Valley is really, it's kind of a pit. Kind of? Well, there are decent parts of it, but it's basically a mecca for white trash at Simi Valley. You know because you drive in and all you see is run down, ski boats, trailers, jet skis, dirt bikes, El Camino's up on blocks, and concrete pumping rigs parked out in front of every other house. The wider you are and the trashier you are, the more ass you have piled in front of your house.

6:27 Drew Driveway, yeah.

6:28 Adam Yeah, on your driveway. Your driveway becomes what should be storage to everyone else and it's on your sort of chaotic white trash life is on display for the world to see. Come everyone, look at me. Look how screwed up I am emotionally. I got a bunch of broken down crap on my driveway that I have no intention of working on but I'll never get rid of it and you can just stare at it for the rest of your life. You can look at the Bondo on the door, the El Camino that's up on cinder blocks until you're in your eighties. So the first thing we do is pull up in front of my cousin's house. He's got a nice, you know, it's a little house but he's put a little saw down on the lawn and a coat of paint on it and he's doing okay for himself. We pull up in front, now this is just a regular residential neighborhood, you know, house, house, house, lawn, lawn, lawn. Big, you know, wide street, plenty of parking. Well, there's a couple of cars parked in front of my cousin's house. So we pull up in front of the house next door to his house, just out on the street and I start getting out of the car and the neighbor comes out, woman in her 50s. Excuse me, excuse me, they're not the only ones having a party. Where are my guests supposed to park? Could you please move your car? Now, I'm not exaggerating, but it's a side street and it's a regular size side street and the other side of the street has zero cars parked on it, zero. Like, you know, you could have parked 30, 30 people could have pulled up all in their own car and just parked on that side of the street. And I mean, there's plenty of parking. I just parked there because it was the next available space kind of thing. She came out yelling, move the thing. And I just pulled right in my cousin's driveway and you know, went in the house. But I thought, does the whole world have to be sort of your personal canvas? You know what I mean?

8:16 Drew What has been done to you?

8:17 Adam Yeah, are you always a victim? I mean, the comment of, they think they're the only people throwing a party. I thought, honey, I don't know what your dad did to you, but just relax, would you? It's Thanksgiving. Or kill yourself. Two choices. Mellow out or put your head in the goddamn oven. Either way, I don't want to deal with you. Oh, my God. I mean, I know there was no cars on the other side of the street and behind me and ten cars behind me. You could have parked anywhere you wanted.

8:50 Drew What is the probability that on any given street, in any given house, somebody like that is going to be there? Pretty high.

8:57 Adam Yeah.

8:58 Drew It's just pretty good.

8:59 Adam I just wish people would just kill themselves. Here's the deal. You're in pain and I wasn't in pain until I met you. So if you would kill yourself, I could go on living a pain-free life. Whatever pain I have, I turn it in on myself like a good person. Go out and crap all over the pedestrians. All right, unless I'm on this show. So that was fine.

9:22 Drew Now.

9:23 Adam I brought.

9:24 Drew Yes. Oh, wait. Drumroll, please.

9:26 Adam I brought. He doesn't have that. It's got Ronnie Dangerfield from his second album in 1962. He doesn't have that.

9:32 Drew This is the cranberry. This must be the cranberry story.

9:34 Adam I walked in carrying an oversized Tupperware container with about three quarts of my fresh cranberry sauce in it. I walked in, I looked on the countertop, I saw three cans of cranberries next to each other. I went, Yes! Yes! Like I just kicked a winning goal in a World Cup game.

9:55 Drew Can anybody share in your glory?

9:56 Adam Yeah. There's two ways you can take me and my cranberry sauce. You can be a man about it and say, I appreciate you bringing it over, I'm going to eat it and thank you for taking the time. Or you can be a pussy about it and pout. These people are very good about it.

10:10 Drew Oh, good.

10:10 Adam I said, Thank you very much. We'll eat that instead.

10:13 Drew Instead?

10:15 Adam What kind of sadist would eat the canned crap when Ace Rockolla brings his own blend over?

10:22 Drew How were they delivered to salvation as a result of this?

10:26 Adam They were all very happy about it. Oh, good.

10:30 Drew I was worried that the white trash element might be somehow spawned about this, might be sort of missed something.

10:35 Adam No, because my cousin's not white trash, he's just nestled in amongst the white trash. You see, now they took it very well. So they were happy to see me and my cranberry. I shared with all and went home with a couple of spoonfuls. It was a very big night. Yes, the two and a half hour ride home I spent next to my cranberry sauce.

10:59 Drew Now tonight we've got Monty Messex, an old friend of yours, interestingly.

11:04 Adam They don't get much older than Monty. Monty and I went to the same hippie school in, I would say, late 60s? No, I would say, but you're not far off. I was born in 64. I'd say like 71, 72 through like 75 or something. We had about three or four years together, me and Monty did.

11:27 Drew Monty is now project coordinator for the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. He's running a project.

11:32 Adam I knew he'd end up doing that. I predicted that when I was nine.

11:35 Drew It's in Los Angeles called a reach project throughout the country. It's called HIV Live With It Get Tested. It's a national youth-focused social campaign aimed at getting people tested for HIV. There's a whole at-risk population out there who is not sort of coming to the system. They're afraid to find out. They don't want to find out. They don't want to get treated. They don't understand that this could be a condition that could be controlled and managed for many, many years. I'm going to be working on this project tomorrow. We're doing a lot of press conferences and stuff.

12:00 Adam Wait till Monty finds out I'm born again and thoroughly against all of this.

12:04 Drew And so Monty will be on to talk about that after the break.

12:09 Adam Jesus. I have not seen Monty in a million years.

12:12 Drew By the way, we would like to take questions if anybody has about HIV, HIV testing, where they can get counterfactual testing. It's going to be a huge outreach program in Los Angeles. It's also available in Miami, Baltimore, Washington, DC., and New York.

12:23 Adam Wow, Drew, go to town. And Monty might give you a little insight into how I was.

12:26 Drew I'm hoping. He just described how you sort of swaggered to school with your pop warner football gear and goulash.

12:35 Adam Yeah.

12:35 Drew Was it in your helmet? How did you carry all that?

12:38 Adam I don't know. We're going to have to find out about it. I know about the football and I know grandpa was Hungarian and made a little goulash once in a while, but we'll see. By the way, Monty's mother was one of the only adults to hit me as a child. Monty's mom hit me in the car, everybody.

12:57 Drew Almost set you straight.

12:58 Adam We'll get into that. I'll see if I can't demand a formal apology from her. Travis?

13:03 Yeah.

13:04 Adam You're 19.

13:05 Caller Yeah.

13:06 Actually, no. I didn't even think about it. I'm 20.

13:08 Drew All right.

13:08 Go ahead.

13:09 One of those stupid moments, I guess.

13:11 Adam All right.

13:12 Drew Go ahead. You're on.

13:13 Adam The stupider moment is the five minutes that we dwell on the one-year age difference here, Travis. So go ahead.

13:20 Okay. Okay. I've got this slight problem. First of all, I do want to say that about a year ago, you had a girl come on your line that was having like a problem reaching an orgasm. And you had told her that she needs to find the right guy. Well, she found him. Number two.

13:36 Drew Well, let me clarify this. So one of our previous callers has found you?

13:41 Adam Wow. Not what we had in mind, but all right.

13:44 A Loveline hookup. Anyways, we've got this small problem to where it's like she'll get abnormally wet. And it's almost like too wet. And it's to a point to where it almost turned me off. Almost.

13:58 Adam Well, it's that you lose friction or it just becomes-

14:02 Yes, that's what it is. Yeah.

14:03 Adam Yeah.

14:04 And she says we had never talked about this before. I was talking to the operator earlier and she came in. So I told her what I was talking to her about. And she said that, yeah, that's the problem with her. Is she doesn't feel any friction nor I.

14:16 Adam Right. That's interesting. Now, what do you, what do you say? Oh, wait a minute. You have a- how's the size of your penis?

14:23 Caller Do you want to ask her about that?

14:25 Adam Well, I'll take your word for it.

14:27 Caller It's good enough.

14:28 Adam Where is she?

14:28 Caller Do you want to know if she's right here? Do you want to know like exact sizes?

14:31 Adam Yeah. Put her on in centimeters, please.

14:34 Caller Okay.

14:34 Adam Moron. Put her on. Nobody knows the circumference of their penis.

14:38 Hello?

14:39 Adam Hello.

14:40 Caller Hello.

14:40 Adam Did you call us a year ago? Yeah.

14:43 I called about a year ago.

14:46 Caller Back when I was in my hometown, a radio station that picked it up.

14:52 Adam Right.

14:53 Caller Yeah.

14:53 Drew That's an important piece of info there. Thank you.

14:57 Adam So you're saying you weren't listening to a station that wasn't carrying the show in a different town?

15:01 Caller Oh, in a different town, it was carrying the station, and then that station, they discontinued the station or whatever, and now nowhere in southern Minnesota can you get Loveline.

15:13 Adam Oh, really?

15:13 Drew That's not true. Well, southern Minnesota.

15:16 Adam I would comment on that, but I always act surprised to hear that we're somewhere, and I realize that's kind of bad for affiliate relations when you've been in a city for three years and you didn't know you're in it. So let's just assume I know where we are, but I don't. Hey, Travis, I mean, what's your name, please? My name is Jen. Jen. All right. So Travis, his penis is fine, right?

15:39 Yeah.

15:40 Adam And you just get, would you tell him to shut up, please?

15:42 He just said, shut up, Travis.

15:44 Adam He said five inches.

15:46 What?

15:47 Adam All right. Here's the deal.

15:48 Caller All right.

15:49 Adam You produce a lot of lubrication, right?

15:52 Caller Yeah.

15:53 Adam So, so really tell, I swear to God, throw a shoe at him, would you? Okay.

16:02 Caller Okay. I just threw a bag at him.

16:03 Adam Don't name your kid Travis.

16:05 Drew I think it goes that way.

16:06 Adam Okay.

16:07 Caller Adam says shut up.

16:08 Adam Now, listen. Okay. I don't know that there's any way that you can sort of dry yourself off, although there are certain positions which would lend themselves to a little more penis exposure and a little more drying time.

16:23 Drew Or force of gravity.

16:25 Adam You know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I'm not quite sure what I'm saying. No, here's what I'm saying. If you got in a position, I think, like let's say a doggy position. Okay. And see, here's what you want. Okay. You want, here's how you get friction. You got to expose the penis to air. You can't just bury it in there and keep it in there. You know what I'm saying? You get in like a doggy type position and you pull out a little farther and you slow down a little bit. You get a little more air circulation. It dries out like socks on a laundry line.

17:02 Drew I think you spent too much time.

17:03 Adam I know this.

17:04 Drew In your bunker this weekend. Yes.

17:05 Adam I studied porn.

17:07 Drew You did, didn't you?

17:07 Adam Very closely.

17:08 Drew Yeah.

17:10 Adam I'm one of the few guys I know who has a porn telestrator.

17:14 Drew You've got like a head of steam behind you.

17:15 Adam I will actually go and circle things, you know, like they do in the NFL games. Yeah, and explain what is going on to curious onlookers who are in the bunker with me. All right. So a position that has a little more penis exposure, and you guys are just going to finish each other off with oral sex. That's it. Because there's nothing you can do to dry up. What about stuff that dries you up?

17:37 Drew No.

17:38 Adam No?

17:38 Drew No.

17:39 Adam Okay. All right. Karen?

17:42 Drew Time spent in the activity that will dry her eventually. Right.

17:45 Adam Yeah. If you can put four hours in.

17:46 Drew That's right.

17:47 Karen? Hello?

17:49 Adam You're 18. What's up?

17:50 Caller Yeah. Well, my problem is I've been dating the sky for about five and a half years off and on. And we broke up and he ended up being with one of my old friends. And obviously we're not friends anymore. They'd been dating and I guess he thought he was in love and stuff. She's way too young for him. So I know it's probably one of those bad relationships where they're stuck on each other.

18:12 Drew Wow. A lot of editorializing here. What did you do to these two?

18:16 Caller I don't know.

18:19 Drew Well you've done something that you're trying to make yourself feel better about.

18:22 Caller No.

18:22 Adam He's how old?

18:23 Caller He's 21.

18:24 Adam She's 16.

18:25 Drew What have you done?

18:26 Caller I haven't done anything. Well we had become friends again. We had a space for about three months. We weren't talking or anything.

18:32 Drew Who? You and this girl?

18:33 Caller No. Me and the guy. I decided to talk to him again. We went out to lunch. Well I moved into an apartment with some roommates and he's been over here for the past five days. I guess the second night we ended up getting together and I thought it was just because he's drunk and he made a mistake until the next morning when he was sober and he...

18:50 Drew Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Didn't I just ask what has she done that she's trying to make you rationalize and feel better about?

18:56 Caller Not rationalize.

18:57 Adam Understand your conversation is just an interruption in her own sort of...

19:03 Drew Stream of consciousness...

19:04 Adam .internal monologue that she has going on. No, seriously. What?

19:09 Caller Can I finish?

19:10 Adam You've been finishing for the last hour, goofball.

19:13 Drew You just told us what you did that you were feeling badly about or unsure about.

19:16 Caller I don't feel bad about it. The thing is, he had said he told her and she said if it ever happens again she'd drop him. It happened again a couple nights ago and come to find out he hasn't told her anything. He said that I took advantage of him and that I initiated everything and as soon as he figured out that he wasn't making out with her he left. He didn't leave that night. It happened again and he wants to keep it a secret. I'm not sure if it's good for her to be going out with him. Oh, right.

19:43 Adam You are so concerned.

19:44 Caller You're so transparent.

19:45 Adam I wish there was more people like you, Karen. Hey, Karen. Yeah. I want to deliver this not only to you but to all of the folks that call in to this show. Okay? So just listen carefully.

19:58 All right.

19:59 Adam You're 18.

19:59 Caller Yeah.

20:00 Adam You got a high school education.

20:02 Caller Yeah.

20:02 Adam Maybe. You smoke a little weed.

20:06 Caller No.

20:06 Adam Here's... All right. But this... I'm doing a general composite of the people who call in to this show. Drew and I are both smart guys who talk to screwballs all night long. Do not try to pull the same line of crap you pull on your stoner friends when you guys are hanging out in front of the Circle K trying to bum cigarettes. All right? Because we're not brain dead idiots. We're smart and we hear this crap all day long. So it's ridiculous to sort of come at us with the same approach that you come at your other goofball friends who don't really care, tend to side with you, and aren't too smart anyway. So, obviously, you're screwing over this friend of yours.

20:49 Drew And you're hell bent on ending that relationship and continuing to see this guy.

20:54 Adam And you will let her know what he has done so that she ends the relationship.

20:59 Drew But you're hell bent on it. You're hell bent on it. So, because you've decided it's bad for her, but it's okay for you.

21:05 Adam Right.

21:05 Caller Well, I didn't stop it because I was in love with him and I didn't want to stop. And I guess he didn't stop it. I don't know why he didn't stop it.

21:12 Drew Because he was going to have sex. Because he's Karen, because he's going to have sex. That's why.

21:16 Adam Right.

21:17 Caller We were almost going to sleep with each other and he said that I can't sleep with you.

21:20 Drew Oh, cool.

21:21 Adam Alright, so what do you want to do now?

21:23 Drew Karen, Karen, wait a minute, we've got to break her into reality a little bit here. We really do.

21:27 Adam I don't care about breaking anyone into reality.

21:31 Drew Karen, he slept with you because you allowed him to have sex. He obviously wants to stay with that girl or he would have ended it and or told her what had happened because he knows what will happen if he tells her. It will be the end of that. He doesn't want to end that. He just wants to have sex with you. That's fine.

21:47 Adam Or have whatever.

21:48 Drew He's not going to have a relationship with you unless he might continue to have sex with you, but that will be that.

21:52 Adam Or they're not having sex, Drew, so stop saying that. They're having something, oral sex. So yeah, alright, that will stop a guy from having sex. Alright, so Karen?

22:04 Drew Karen, deal with reality. Really, you're way, way, way in outer space in terms of your thinking.

22:08 Adam Alright, but here's the deal, Karen. I figure you're going to tell this friend of yours. So you might as well just go ahead and get it over with.

22:14 Caller We stopped being friends when she started having sex with me.

22:17 Adam Now you're telling her tonight. Alright, so go tell her. Go ahead. He deserves it. What the hell? I mean, you're going to do it anyway, right?

22:24 Caller I'm not going to do it. I've been keeping it a secret.

22:26 Adam Alright, you're not going to do it?

22:29 Caller No, but he's going to get himself into hot trouble. I know he is because he can't keep his mouth shut.

22:33 Adam Oh, he's been doing a decent job so far.

22:36 Caller Not really.

22:37 Adam Alright, here's my... What do you mean, not really? He said he didn't tell her.

22:41 Caller Well, he's telling other people the truth.

22:43 Adam Okay.

22:44 Caller Besides her, and it's going to get back.

22:46 Adam My prediction is you will see to it that she finds out, whether it's through your mouth or through someone else's, you'll be sort of either directly or indirectly responsible for her finding out. So just go ahead and tell her. What the hell. Alright? But don't get pregnant.

23:02 Drew And this relationship is going to be a nightmare for you if it continues.

23:05 Adam Alrighty. We are going to take ourselves a little break. Who are we going to talk to when we come back, Drew? Monty. Monty Messex. My very, very, very old friend. Who I've not seen for, well, I was going to say 20 years, but let's make it 25. Plus. And last time I saw him, we were knee deep at the hippie school. So we can explore some of my past and talk about project. Sorry, Children's Hospital and all that good age related junk after this. It is Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Monty is a very, very old friend who I haven't seen since the hippie school I went to in Silver Lake. One of the few hippie schools I went to, actually. He was just one of the hippies from one of the hippie schools I went to. But Monty and I were pretty much best friends for those years that I went to the hippie school. And now he's a project coordinator for Children's Hospital in Los Angeles. And Drew, take it from here.

24:31 Drew I'll turn it over to Monty. No, listen. We're working on the HIV Live With It Get Tested program when Monty and I were doing a press conference in the morning and trying to gain access to populations that aren't really utilizing the healthcare delivery system to screen for this disease and to get it tested early on.

24:48 Adam The HIV Live With It slogan doesn't sound like the best thought out.

24:53 Drew The slogan is Getting Busy.

24:55 Adam That doesn't sound like the greatest plan either. That means humping and live with it means go ahead and get it and then we'll see what we can do. There's a really too bad angle so you really have to.

25:06 Drew I think you should be called HIV Get Tested.

25:09 Adam It's not catchy but it's effective. Go ahead, Monty.

25:12 Monty Messex We liked in the beginning, we liked Everwonder, but we liked Everwonder but it's a national campaign.

25:23 Adam But the idea is to get people tested and to get more people tested.

25:28 Drew A lot of people are afraid to get tested if they think they're at risk because they don't understand it's a disease that can be treated early on, longevity is sustained or in other words, people will live longer if they're treated earlier. There are populations out there that just aren't making use of this. They aren't coming in, the people we talk to are the people that aren't coming in.

25:45 Monty Messex And this campaign, it's a national campaign, and it's specifically directed towards adolescents. When I say adolescents, I mean young people all the way up to the age of their mid-20s. And I think the important part of this campaign is I think people are going to start hearing in the next five or ten years really is that this is no longer a disease that's them. You know, that's the people that are shooting drugs or among the gay community. This is going to be a disease that's spread very much like it is in other parts of the world that is between men and women.

26:20 Drew One in four people that have HIV got it during their adolescence. That's a pretty compelling death.

26:24 Adam What is the technical adolescent span?

26:28 Drew 12 to 20.

26:29 Adam Is that it?

26:30 Monty Messex Children's Hospital, we go to 24.

26:32 Drew In this country, it's 12 to 40.

26:34 Adam Yeah, my friends, they're into their 30s and still sort of trapped in that phase.

26:38 Monty Messex I think I left adolescence like three years ago.

26:41 Drew I heard you just counseling Seb there.

26:43 Adam Yeah, yeah. So, all right, so Monty's made something of his life and he's trying to make some positive change.

26:49 Drew That's right. In Los Angeles, you can dial 800-758-0880. They refer you to these anonymous free testing sites. Right, they're free?

27:00 Monty Messex They're all free. All of them are free. They all offer or a shirt testing also, so you don't even have to give blood.

27:05 Drew Which is the cheek thing.

27:06 Monty Messex Right, not spit, but...

27:08 Drew Cheek membrane.

27:09 Monty Messex Cheek membrane.

27:10 Drew Cells. And if you're looking for sites in your city, www.cdc, which is the Center for Disease Control, cdc.gov, G-O-V.

27:17 Monty Messex Here I found a national 800 number. What's that? From the CDC National AIDS Hotline. It's 800-342-2437.

27:28 Adam And what about having... What about mobilizing and having the AIDS mobile?

27:36 Drew How did you know about that?

27:37 Adam I'm just coming up with this idea. We have that.

27:39 Drew I'm going to be filmed at it tomorrow.

27:41 Adam You're driving the AIDS mobile?

27:42 Drew No, I'm going to appear at the AIDS mobile.

27:43 Monty Messex HIV testing site. It's a mobile testing site.

27:45 Adam I heard they're having some trouble with the ejector seat in the AIDS mobile. As soon as they work the kinks out of that, it will be on the road. But what about taking this trailer, this van or whatever, not just to high schools or most importantly, junior colleges, because this is where the real troublemakers in this country reside.

28:03 Monty Messex They're doing it. They do a lot of that. And Long Beach has a program that does that.

28:08 Adam Really? That's good.

28:09 Monty Messex And Drew University down in Linwood has a program, has two mobile units, and actually that's one of our partners in this campaign, is Drew University. And actually Dr. Drew is going to be going down to Drew University tomorrow to do a program to talk about the campaign and talk about the issue of HIV among adolescents.

28:28 Adam Also, if this cotton swab test, now they just put it in your cheek, they rub it on your cheek a little bit and that's good enough?

28:35 Monty Messex Yep, it's just as good as using blood.

28:38 Adam And what about this like porn DNA testing or something where you can get results very quickly? What about that? Do you know about that?

28:48 Monty Messex Yeah, that's a test where it actually looks for the virus. The test where they use a swab, it looks for antibodies for the virus and it takes anywhere from two weeks after a person is infected to six months for antibodies. But the porn test that you're referring to, it's a PCR test. It's more expensive.

29:05 Drew Polymerase chain rate.

29:08 Monty Messex And it looks for the virus. But again, there's a lag time from the time that you can develop enough virus where the PCR all detected is still a couple of days.

29:17 Adam But it's a much shorter period of time theoretically.

29:20 Monty Messex And it's a more expensive test.

29:21 Drew It's not a good screening test.

29:23 Adam It isn't.

29:23 Monty Messex No.

29:24 Adam And what about, well, it's expensive, so it's not good. It wouldn't work in a mass level.

29:28 Drew It also, if I'm right, is more likely to have false negative, I think.

29:33 Adam Well, that's good.

29:34 Monty Messex Let me refer back to my epidemiology class.

29:37 Adam All right. Well, Drew, don't bust Monty's balls here. He went to the hippie school like I did. It's lucky he knows how to read.

29:43 Monty Messex I did learn how to read after I left.

29:45 Adam After you left?

29:45 Monty Messex In the fourth grade. It was pathetic.

29:47 Adam That's great.

29:49 Monty Messex I have to say, my friend Tony Nagy, if you're listening, I have to say thank you to your mom for teaching me how to read at Cherimoya.

29:55 Adam Monty and I went to this hippie school. We just threw dirt clods at each other the entire time.

30:00 Monty Messex I remember them saying, do you want to learn to read today or do you want to dig a hole?

30:04 Adam Right.

30:04 Monty Messex So it's like me and Adam dig a hole.

30:07 Adam We dug the hole.

30:08 Drew So that's why when you went over to your friend's house, you misbehaved, and mom had to smack you a little bit.

30:12 Adam Monty, I don't remember if you remember this, but your mom whacked me in the car. No. That's when we were driving. Do you remember that?

30:20 Monty Messex No.

30:20 Adam Let me explain exactly what went on.

30:22 Monty Messex I bet you we were in the backseat, like being really irritating.

30:25 Adam We were going, I don't know where, we were going somewhere with your mom. We were in the backseat of the station wagon, and we were playing that game. I'm not sure what that game is called. You put your hand over the other guy's hand, he tries to slap it.

30:41 Monty Messex That game has no name, but everybody knows what it is.

30:43 Adam Everyone knows what it is. You put your hands flat, the other guy puts his hands over, and you see who can smack the other guy's hand.

30:48 Drew Hot, hot, something hot.

30:49 Adam Well, here's the point. I think I was trying to slap your hand, and I thought that maybe if I could simulate your mother's voice well enough, I could get you to turn and look. So she said, Monty's mom, I think, was, my recollection of her, she was firm, she was a tough woman. Single parent, right? She had her hands full, and Monty was a handful, and I was a handful, and we were going nuts in the back of this car. So she turned around, she yelled like, Monty, shut up, and I went, yeah, Monty, shut up. Ironically enough, as I was attempting to slap Monty's hand, I felt a hand come across my face, which was like, hey, what's up with that?

31:40 Monty Messex The good old days.

31:42 Adam Right.

31:42 Monty Messex Step out of line, get hit in the face.

31:44 Adam She felt bad about it. I didn't really care that much. I figured I had it coming. Didn't bother me too much, but I think she went and told my mom anyway. I figured she wanted to get to her before I did. It was a plan, although I had no intention of telling my mom because...

32:00 Drew She would have blamed you anyway.

32:02 Adam Yeah, well, it's like, why tell her you were out of line?

32:05 Drew Well, she didn't know about the long Corolla tradition. Right.

32:10 Monty Messex I never thought we were out of line at all. Now that I have kids, do I realize that kids playing that game in the back of the car, every fiber of your being wants to turn around and do something like that.

32:22 Adam Well, that's why I don't have kids, Monty, but when I do, I'm going to have one of those limo-type glass deflectors put in the station wagon. I'll just raise the thing up, maybe pump some gas into it. I'm not going to kill them, but just to slow them down a little bit.

32:37 Drew Just to make the oxygen tension kind of low.

32:38 Adam Yeah, you get tired, right?

32:40 Drew Right.

32:40 Adam Yeah.

32:41 Drew Stuporous.

32:42 Adam If you divert just a little carbon monoxide from the exhaust in there, they'll go right to sleep, right?

32:48 Drew Your mom had a similar idea one time.

32:49 Adam Yeah, I got gas in the back one of my mom's hippie boyfriend's buses. That's another story. This is Orbeck. Jesus. I just find him and sue him. All right. So anyway, Monty is here. And Monty, have any stories you want to tell before we take some calls?

33:03 Monty Messex Stories? Well, it is this strikes me as being very random that I want to make it clear to all listeners that I did not ask you, Adam, to be on this show that I didn't even go that I ran into Dr. Drew at Children's Hospital and intentionally I thought I don't want to play the Adam Corolla card from 25 years ago.

33:21 Drew So it's really I didn't hear about it until like much later. Oh, really?

33:25 Monty Messex I had to leave it to just I wanted to leave it strictly to chance that this would all work out.

33:31 Drew We were talking about how to how to help this project be successful and I go, hey, why aren't you on my show when we talk about it on the radio?

33:36 Adam Your show? What show you have?

33:38 Drew Our show, Adam. I beg your pardon, Your Royal Highness, and I go and Monty pipes up. I'm an old friend of Adam's.

33:45 Adam Oh, yeah.

33:46 Drew I want to hear about this.

33:47 Adam Old man.

33:48 Monty Messex So, but it's 25 years later. It's good to see you.

33:51 Adam That's right. It really literally has been 25 years.

33:55 Monty Messex I would never in a million years recognize you.

33:58 Adam Oh, really?

33:59 Monty Messex No. You look completely different.

34:01 Adam I had hair out to here.

34:03 What else?

34:04 Monty Messex You look totally different.

34:05 Drew You got to get some pictures.

34:06 Monty Messex Your hair, I thought was lighter.

34:08 Adam Could have been.

34:09 Drew Oh, you guys. On the break. Come on.

34:11 Do I look bad?

34:12 Drew Come on.

34:13 Adam I had a certain... I didn't have the eye for...

34:17 Monty Messex He was in the Pop Warner football, tackle football. I remember going and watching you play tackle football.

34:21 Drew We've heard many. We regale with many stories.

34:23 Adam That's why I was all about it.

34:24 Drew Thank you, Monty.

34:26 Adam Ryan?

34:26 Yeah.

34:27 Adam You're 16. What's up?

34:29 Caller Oh, yeah. About a couple of months ago, about a month and a half ago, actually, me and my dad inherited some money from my grandfather after he died. And now at school, everyone's like, I really don't know who my friends are now. I've got all this money. Everyone wants money from me.

34:46 Adam How much money?

34:48 Caller A little over 100,000.

34:49 Adam Did you guys split?

34:51 Caller No, no. Well, me and my dad, yeah.

34:54 Drew You split it, you and your dad.

34:55 Caller Well, we didn't actually split it, you know, it's just for both of us.

34:57 Drew Oh, boy.

34:58 Adam All right. Ryan, you just hang on and think about your answers. I can't dedicate 10 minutes into figuring out how the money was divvied up. We're going to take a little break. Old friend, Monty Messex is here. We're going to talk about the AIDS and AIDS prevention tonight. Now, Drew, I think we're going to take a little break on time. When we come back, we're going to speak to Mike, who's 34. He was Monty's community college professor, and he wants to change Adam's opinions. Hold on a second. What? Mike? Yeah. You're Monty's community college professor?

35:30 Yes, I was.

35:32 Adam Is it fair to call yourself a professor at the junior college level?

35:35 Well, that is the official rank, but yeah, you're right. All right. Hold on a second. Whoa, whoa.

35:39 Drew You're not convincing yet, Mike. Think about your answers. Don't cave into him right off the top.

35:43 Adam It's not like he was trapped on Gilligan's Island or anything important like that. He's just some plug-in.

35:47 Monty Messex Which class did you teach?

35:48 Drew I guess we're going to find out.

35:49 Adam All right. We'll take a break. We'll be back after this.

35:56 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

36:17 You want to talk about it?

36:19 Monty Messex Actually, that's my only copy.

36:21 Adam All right. Okay. Listen, everybody, including Monty and Drew, when the show runs and then there's these commercials in between and then we come back to the show, Drew will always talk to the guests during the part when we're coming back, and the guests will always hand me something and do something. Do all that in between, please. Just drives me nuts. I blame Drew. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Monty is a very old friend. I went to Hippie School with Monty back when...

36:56 Monty Messex Community School.

36:57 Adam Hippie. Free Range School. You remember going to the field trip to the burnt out SLA headquarters in Watts?

37:06 Monty Messex No.

37:06 Adam You don't remember going there?

37:08 Monty Messex Wow. Wasn't that to the, what do you call it, the Watts Towers?

37:11 Adam We went to the Watts Towers, too.

37:13 Monty Messex You have to go to the Watts Towers. Once in a lifetime, everybody should go there.

37:17 Adam But the SLA headquarters that Patty Hurst was hanging out in that burnt down with a few SLA guys. That must have been 73, 72. Got to figure out the date, but we went down there. Absolutely. I think the teachers wanted to go down there and check it out. Every place they wanted to go was just deemed a cultural experience for the kids. It's like they're picking up the dry cleaning. You know, actually one thing, and I don't know if you remember this one either, Monty, but we went, I was talking to somebody, and you know when you go to school and you're in like the third, fourth grade, you go on these field trips, you try to go somewhere somewhat interesting for third and fourth graders. The only real field trip I remember going on, I mean official sort of tour, the factory kind of place, the Lary's Seasoning Factory over in across the LA. River over there and sort of I remember that. Glendale.

38:18 Drew You know I went to Helms Bakery up the street here when it was a bakery.

38:21 Adam All right. But Drew, do you understand how uninterested third graders are in the seasoning process?

38:31 Drew I can imagine.

38:33 Monty Messex I like that.

38:33 Adam Here's where we keep the paprika. Fantastic. And you know what we took home? A little packet of Lary's Seasoning Salt. Do you understand what a packet of seasoning salt is good for when you're in the third grade?

38:48 Monty Messex Rubbing it in someone's eyes.

38:50 Adam What are you having? I mean, oh, this will go great with that salmon I'm poaching.

38:55 Drew The Corollas are excited about that?

38:56 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. I swear I got to sue everybody touring the Lary's Seasoning Factory in the third grade for Christ's sake. All right. Anyway, so Monty and I went to the Hippie School together. Now, Monty's finally made something of his life. I've been monitoring your progress from afar for many years.

39:15 Monty Messex I know.

39:15 Adam Monty is the project coordinator at Children's Hospital and is here to talk about. Go ahead, Monty.

39:22 Monty Messex Oh, we're, well, Drew and I are working on this project, actually, and it's an HIV awareness campaign and it's directed to getting the message out for basically just to get people tested. Young people, the campaign's pretty much, it's directed towards 13 to 24 and we have an 800 number that we're launching. It's up and running that we're doing. It's 800-758-0880.

39:47 Adam Well, that's local, right?

39:49 Monty Messex Just LA County, just LA County. But if you want to call a national number, that's the number we should be giving out. Here's one. It's 800-342-2437. And here's a little web page for you that's put up by the CDC. That's the Center for Disease Control. It's a federal thing. It's www.ashastd.org.

40:11 Adam And what are the two slogans we're working with?

40:14 Drew Getting busy.

40:14 Monty Messex Getting busy. And the other one?

40:15 Adam Getting busy.

40:16 Drew HIV, get tested. Or what is it?

40:18 Adam No.

40:18 Monty Messex The other one we don't want to talk about.

40:20 Adam HIV, you got it, live with it.

40:23 Monty Messex No, it's HIV, live with it, get tested. And I think the live with it part is...

40:27 Drew Well, no, it's these people that they can live with. They need to be scared of having to get diagnosed.

40:32 Monty Messex No, and I think it's even before that, that it's live with it, that HIV is a part of life. It's not something that's happening to them. It's something that's happening to listeners that call up Loveline and are having, if you're having unprotected sex, if you're in contact with blood, semen, can I say vaginal secretions, breast milk, any of those, if you're in contact with any of those bodily fluids, then you're at risk for HIV. And there's a lot of risks these days with piercings, with people having unprotected sex. And I think there's a lot of people think that that's something that happens to them.

41:06 Drew To other people.

41:07 Adam To other people.

41:08 Monty Messex To other people.

41:08 Adam I think it's something that happens to me. It just never does. But seriously, how many people get it from piercings each year, five? You know what I mean? It's not even worth tallying those people up. Is it?

41:19 Monty Messex Well, I mean, if you say to yourself, you know, I mean, if you want to roll the dice that way, you know, but it's just knowing that it's that if you're in contact with those bodily fluids, if somebody's doing a tattoo on you and they're not changing the needle between other people, then hey.

41:38 Adam Well, one more reason not to get the pierce or the tan anyway.

41:41 Monty Messex Or just get it through, just make sure that it's clean, that you're going to some place that has clean instruments.

41:46 Drew See them open a package. Mike? Mike?

41:50 Yeah.

41:50 Adam You're 34.

41:51 Caller Yeah.

41:52 Adam You're Monty's junior college professor?

41:54 Caller I was.

41:55 Adam You were?

41:55 Caller He's long gone and done well. Right.

41:58 Adam Right.

41:58 Monty Messex Hi, Mike.

41:59 Caller How you doing?

42:00 Adam What's your last name, Mike? So Monty knows who you are.

42:03 Caller Alan.

42:04 Monty Messex Mike Alan. Were you my math teacher?

42:06 Caller You got it.

42:07 Monty Messex You were my Algebra 2 teacher?

42:09 Caller Yep.

42:10 Monty Messex I liked you. You took the bus.

42:12 Caller Yep, that's me.

42:13 Monty Messex And you changed your name to your wife's last name.

42:16 Adam Oh, and these are the kind of people who are molding the youth of tomorrow?

42:20 Monty Messex No, I thought that that was, you know, it's like...

42:22 Adam Really?

42:23 Monty Messex But maybe this isn't the same. This is the same Mike?

42:25 Adam No, you got me. Smith.

42:27 Monty Messex Yeah, Mike.

42:29 Adam What was your last name? Hitler? Because that's the only excuse I'll accept.

42:32 Monty Messex No, that was good.

42:33 Adam Mike Hitler.

42:34 Caller Even worse. Smith.

42:35 Adam Mike Smith. So you changed to the exotic Mike Alan?

42:39 Caller Yeah, a little better.

42:40 Adam Yeah, people must think you're from like Central America with that name. Very exotic. This guy is cool. Oh, please. Oh, no. And there's kids. You don't have kids, do you Mike? No, I'm divorced now too.

42:52 Drew Okay, good.

42:53 Adam You get your old name back. Back to Smith.

42:55 Drew Did you keep Adam?

42:56 Adam Hey, did you keep Alan?

42:57 Caller Actually, I did keep it, yeah.

42:58 Caller Oh, boy.

43:00 Caller Too much apple.

43:00 Adam You see what I'm talking about with Junior College? The blind, laying the blind over there.

43:04 Monty Messex Hey, you know what? You got to give it up for Glendale Community College.

43:07 Adam All right. So you're here to stick up for all the folks that are in Junior College?

43:12 Caller No, not quite. Junior College has a very important role to play. We're the filter system of higher ed. So a lot of people who are in Community College are exactly as you described them, complete morons, every semester. But the people who graduate from Community College like Monty are beautiful people and they do well and they shouldn't be disparaged because they were lumped in with a bunch of boneheads.

43:31 Adam No. I'm just saying you need to thin the herd. My policy would be is I don't want to see anyone around here for over three years. It's a two-year program. If you're going into year number four, you're out. You ain't going to make it.

43:46 Drew Regardless of health, disability, family crisis.

43:48 Adam Don't care if you're in a wheelchair and an iron lung. You're out.

43:51 Caller We got plenty of people who work full time. It takes them five years, but they get through. They go at night. Some of them are the best. They come back in their 30s and 40s and they're serious now. They're 18. They couldn't have cared less.

44:01 Adam All right. So then what happens? They take five years. They get the AA degree and then what? Then they transfer. So it takes them five years to get a two-year degree, and then they get their bachelors another 15 years.

44:15 Caller They're ready to get another great job. They move on up.

44:18 Adam Now, here's the thing. The bachelors doesn't do anything for you anymore.

44:22 Monty Messex It does.

44:22 Adam Oh, please, it does not.

44:24 Monty Messex It does.

44:24 Adam Bachelors, your bachelor degree gets you 28 grand a year. Listen, here's the reality of the bachelor degree, unless you go on to higher education. You spend four years getting a bachelor degree, and a lot of people spend more time than four years, but let's just say you spend four or five years getting a bachelor degree. You spend four or five years as a plumber's apprentice, you make ten times as much as a guy who got the bachelor's degree.

44:45 Monty Messex But you know what, getting a BA, though, also you're exposed to all sorts of ideas.

44:49 Drew It changes you.

44:50 Monty Messex Yeah, it changes you.

44:50 Adam You've got guys like Mike telling you to take your wife's last name.

44:53 Drew Oh, BA.

44:54 Adam Come on.

44:55 Monty Messex Be nice to Mike.

44:56 Adam All right. This is the kind of new ideas you need.

44:59 Monty Messex No, you know, get exposed to like the Iliad or the Odyssey or something like that. And, you know, and the interesting idea is that it's a plumber's apprentice. You know, you.

45:08 Adam Yeah, but listen, all you need is cable and you're fine. That's what I'm saying.

45:12 Drew Adam, don't you agree that this country needs an educated voting populace?

45:16 Adam They need to be controlled. Here's what I'd like to do, Mike. When I'm in power, unless you can handle a pistol, you're going to be out of a job because I'm going to turn junior colleges into sort of penal colonies.

45:27 Drew I was reading a great article.

45:28 Adam I'm just going to put barbed wire around them. They already have fences.

45:31 Drew Razor wire, right?

45:32 Adam I'm not going to bring prisoners in. Anyone who's there, they'll stay. That's what I'm doing.

45:38 Drew About how history really is an ebb and flow between people who allow the individuals to develop on their own best interests as they perceive it to be best for them versus people who come in from the outside and make the decision for them.

45:49 Adam Right.

45:51 Drew We don't want to be part of that ebb and flow, please.

45:53 Adam Diana?

45:54 Yeah?

45:55 Adam You're 21 years old?

45:56 Caller Yeah.

45:57 Adam You're a virgin?

45:58 Caller Yeah.

45:58 Adam You're 21?

46:00 Caller Yup.

46:00 Adam Are you religious?

46:02 Caller Well, yeah. Well, I mean, my parents are Greek Orthodox.

46:06 Drew Did that contribute to your ability to retain your virginity?

46:10 Caller Excuse me?

46:10 Drew Did that contribute? Uh-huh. I wasn't that clear.

46:14 Caller Well, my question is, OK, well, I'm going out with this guy for like a month or so. And every time, like, he tries to, like, touch me, I don't know why. It's like I freak out. I just, I don't know, my body tenses up and I feel really uncomfortable.

46:29 Adam Yeah. Were you ever raped or anything?

46:32 Caller No. Well, almost, like, last year.

46:35 Drew Were you beaten ever?

46:36 Caller No. It's just like I've been molested, though, when I was, like, five.

46:40 Adam OK. Well, that wouldn't be a contributing factor. So, let's think.

46:45 Monty Messex But it's a good thing to do like, to talk about what, how you're feeling. You know what I mean?

46:50 Drew What happened when you were five?

46:53 Caller Well, like, my grandma and my uncle used to just, like, kind of feel me down there. But that's about it. Sometimes my boobs, but yeah.

47:00 Drew You were five?

47:01 Caller Yeah.

47:01 Adam All right. Hold on a second, Diana. We got to take a quick break.

47:04 Caller OK.

47:04 Adam All right.

47:05 Caller All right.

47:05 Adam All right. Keep that hymen intact. We're going to get to the bottom of this. We'll figure it out. All right. OK. All right. We'll take a little break. Monty Messex is here tonight. We're talking about the AIDS prevention. And we'll be back with Diana, who's 21, a virgin. And there's a reason why after this.

47:24 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

47:30 Caller We'll be right back.

47:47 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. Oh, we got to take a quick 10-second timeout, and then we'll be back with more of the fabulous show in just 10 seconds.

47:55 Caller This is Loveline on radio station.

48:09 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Monty is the project coordinator at the Children's Hospital in Los Angeles. And we're talking about getting tested and AIDS awareness and all that other good stuff. When we left off, we were speaking to Diana. She's 21. She's a virgin. I wanted to know why she was a virgin. Religion didn't have anything to do with it, except for she was molested. So she says, as a young child. And we're going to delve into that. Diana?

48:43 Caller Yeah. I'm here.

48:44 Adam Okay. So who... And not only are you a virgin, but when your boyfriend touches you, you get uncomfortable.

48:52 Caller I don't know why.

48:53 Adam I know. Just yes.

48:54 Caller It's like not just like...

48:56 Adam I understand. Okay. I'm just trying to set the table here, Diana. You get uncomfortable when your boyfriend touches you. Now, you say you were molested when you were five. And what happened with that?

49:07 Caller Like my grandmama and uncle would just like kind of steal me. You know, like nothing.

49:11 Adam Your grandma and uncle?

49:13 Caller Yeah.

49:14 Drew What were they up to?

49:14 Adam What a duo, those two.

49:16 Drew This is your uncle and his mother.

49:19 Caller Uh, it's my dad's brother.

49:21 Drew And his mother.

49:23 Caller Yeah.

49:24 Adam Wow. Hold on. That's a new one.

49:26 Drew Yeah.

49:27 Adam This is your uncle and his mother.

49:29 Drew I don't know if I buy this.

49:30 Adam You don't?

49:31 Drew No, it's maybe a perceptual distortion of some time.

49:33 Adam Do you think she's having trouble with the, something firing in her brain?

49:38 Drew Um, something.

49:40 Caller Okay.

49:41 Adam Because, no, it's my uncle. No, no, it's my dad's brother.

49:45 Caller Okay.

49:46 Adam Jesus Christ. What is wrong with our listeners? What is wrong with you guys? Hey, Diana.

49:51 Caller Yeah.

49:51 Adam Are you crazy?

49:52 Caller No, no, no, not at all. I'm like an down to earth person.

49:55 Adam You don't hear voices or anything?

49:57 Drew No, no, I'm not making that big a distortion.

49:58 Caller No.

49:59 Drew Okay. What do you think they were up to?

50:00 Adam What did they do to you?

50:01 Drew What were they doing?

50:04 Caller Just like, feel me. That's about it. I don't know why these-

50:07 Drew In what context? Were they trying to sexually stimulate you? Were they trying to clean you up after something? Were they giving you a shower?

50:13 Caller No.

50:13 Drew What were they doing?

50:14 Caller Like, when they, I don't know, like when she's like joke around with me, she'll just like, just feel me like down there and that's about it.

50:21 Adam Feel you down there?

50:22 Caller Yeah, just in a joking way, you know, like in a playful way.

50:26 Adam In the crotch area?

50:27 Caller Yeah.

50:28 Adam I was so want to joke around with me down there once in a while.

50:30 Drew Like he was tickling you?

50:32 Caller Yeah, kind of like that.

50:34 Adam All right, but he never took your pants off or anything?

50:36 Drew I see.

50:37 Adam No. Okay. So.

50:39 Drew You know, I'm a big believer that sexual abuse causes this stuff.

50:42 Adam Yeah. I believe, I believe 90 percent of uncles molested their nieces or nephews, but I don't see this as that.

50:49 Drew Although it sounds like something happened that made you feel out of control though, right? Something made you feel kind of powerless and vulnerable.

50:57 Caller It makes me feel like ashamed of myself in a way.

51:01 Adam All right.

51:01 Drew Well, so there's something going on here, but I don't think focusing on those particular events are necessarily where all this has come from. And if you can't get past the barrier of being unable to even be physically close with somebody, let alone truly intimate, it's something that's going to have to be treated.

51:19 Adam Well, maybe there's something she's blocking. You think there's something you can't think about?

51:23 Drew I think it's something more abusive in the general quality of parenting she got.

51:26 Adam Where's your dad?

51:28 Caller My dad's here. He lives with me.

51:29 Adam Is he a good guy?

51:30 Caller Yeah, he's cool. He was a good guy? He verbally abused.

51:35 Adam Well, you probably had it coming when you were five. So he's a good guy except for the verbal abuse?

51:40 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

51:42 Monty Messex That I think is more to the point.

51:43 Caller He just puts me down every day.

51:45 Adam Hey, Monty's mom physically abused me. So you got off lucky, honey. Imagine what my own parents did to me. No, I got the emotional abuse at home and then I rounded out with the physical abuse over at Monty's house. All right. So, Diana, how about you read a book or get some therapy or something? Okay.

52:05 Monty Messex I think it's good that you're talking about it. That's how you get past these things.

52:10 Adam Yeah.

52:11 Monty Messex It's like shivering in your boyfriend's bed into the next 20 odd years.

52:16 Adam Yeah. You just wonder why she's so traumatized sexually when something's going on. Yeah.

52:22 Drew It's the abusive dad.

52:23 Adam So, let me get this straight. Your uncle and his mom will ask you? No. My dad's brother and his mom.

52:29 Drew No, no. I didn't even acknowledge the mom part.

52:31 Adam No.

52:32 Drew My dad's brother and my grandma.

52:35 Monty Messex You know, talk about it. I think that's the best thing is find people it's safe to talk about. You know, call people on the radio.

52:41 Adam Callers just must stay up all night thinking of new and innovative ways to disagree with us and rewording things. It's absolutely amazing. We actually, I mean, this really first, we had your uncle converted into no, my dad's brother. I love it. All right. Monty, I'm going to give you your pitch on the AIDS testing.

53:02 Monty Messex Yeah. So we're having this get tested week. Part of our campaign is we're having a get tested week and it's starting on World AIDS Day, which is this coming Wednesday, it's December 1st. And it's World AIDS Day where all organizations all across the country and different parts of the world come together to pool their resources.

53:22 Adam Who's the worst? Africa?

53:25 Monty Messex The worst as far as HIV incidence.

53:28 Adam Yeah.

53:29 Monty Messex Is Africa, and I think also in parts of Southeast Asia, it's just unbelievably high.

53:35 Adam And aren't they screwing up the curve for all the other countries? You know what I mean? You see these stats and they go, every ten seconds somebody comes down with AIDS.

53:46 Monty Messex You know what the interesting thing though is about Africa and Southeast Asia, and I think it's a lesson that can be learned here in the United States, is that it's a heterosexual disease there.

53:55 Adam Yeah, but those people screw up everything. I mean, that whole place is a mess. We ought to just take it over. Oh, come on. Look at it.

54:01 Monty Messex It's contact with blood, semen, vaginal secretions, breast milk, you know, that's how the virus is passed.

54:07 Drew I remember, in Africa, there's a theory that it was mostly the real explosion was passed by prostitution, which is...

54:13 Monty Messex And Southeast Asia.

54:14 Drew Yeah, which apparently in Africa is just part of the social structure that men are sort of expected. They anticipate they could go to prostitutes.

54:20 Monty Messex And it's not here.

54:22 Drew And well, no, not the way it is there, apparently.

54:24 Monty Messex But you know what, the face of the disease in LA it's because it's so spread out, it's not moving around as much. But you go to places, say like New York City and stuff like that, or on the East Coast where people are just piled on top of each other. The face of the epidemic is changing, you know.

54:40 Adam Well, you get some good pizza and some AIDS. That's why you go to New York or Chicago.

54:44 Monty Messex And you know, people look perfectly healthy when they're HIV positive. You can't tell. You don't know. They don't. Most people that are HIV positive, especially young people, don't know. And that's the other part of this campaign is to try, sorry, I don't mean to cut you off, is to try to catch people early on in the infection. Because the earlier you can catch somebody, and when they test positive, the earlier that you catch it, the more benefit they have from all the drugs that are out there, the antiviral medication. And many, many people don't know that they're positive.

55:16 Drew You know what, I love the fact that I've been fighting this goddamn spin magazine, not to disparage Bob Gugioni Jr. as a nice guy, but for years they've been publishing this crap that HIV doesn't cause AIDS.

55:29 Adam Right.

55:30 Drew Years. Right. To the point now where it's like, it's absurd. It's like bacteria doesn't cause illness. We're going to have to talk about it as some sort of campaign. The man is foisting on people. Look, you lower the viral load, they don't get AIDS. That's it. They also don't transmit the disease. Right.

55:46 Adam And here's my take on all that. Print whatever you want, but now it's time to apologize.

55:51 Drew Yes.

55:51 Adam And just admit you're wrong.

55:52 Drew Yes.

55:53 Adam Idiots.

55:53 Drew Months of apology.

55:55 Adam Of course. All right. Dangerous. So, Monty?

55:57 Monty Messex Can I talk about that? We're having this Get Tested Week and we're having, at Children's Hospital, we've been doing this campaign and we've partnered up with some really, really great outreach and testing groups in Los Angeles. And a few of them are having some events and two of them are having events on World AIDS Day. That's December what? December 1st. It's this Wednesday.

56:23 Adam World AIDS Day.

56:23 Monty Messex And that's World AIDS Day. And so there's the Noche de las Memorias, and that's in East Los Angeles. And at 8:30 p.m., they're going to have a memorial for people that have been killed by AIDS. And it's going to be in East Los Angeles at the Plaza de la Raza at Lincoln Park. And also at the African American Museum, 600 State Drive and Exposition Park at...

56:44 Adam I don't know, let's stay away from the African Museum on AIDS Day. They're calling me superstitious, but that sounds like trouble brewing to me. What are you talking about? The whole thing is running nuts over there in Africa. You're heading down to the African Museum on AIDS Day.

56:58 Monty Messex The African American Museum.

56:59 Adam Sounds like trouble. Go to the place with the African in the title on AIDS Day. That's all I'm saying.

57:06 Monty Messex Well, and the reason is that we've sponsored with these organizations is that in Los Angeles County and also nationally, African American and Latinos...

57:17 Drew Disproportionately represented by others.

57:19 Monty Messex Disproportionately. Not to say that it's an African American or Latino disease. It's just that they...

57:24 Drew Right now.

57:24 Monty Messex Yeah, right now.

57:25 Drew Well, they're the ones that are... Part of the problem is they're the ones not coming to access the treatment.

57:28 Adam Man, screwing them. White man. Holding them down. Giving them AIDS. I agree. All right. Should we... Is this our fault? No, seriously, as white guys, do we take a hit for this one or are we just sort of mutual, neutral on the whole thing? What do we do? Do we apologize?

57:44 Drew I'm always...

57:45 Caller You should apologize.

57:46 Drew Come on.

57:46 Adam The Latinos and the Blacks are getting AIDS at a much greater rate. It's got to be someone's fault.

57:50 Monty Messex You know what? There are people in the Latino and African-American community that are standing up and they're doing something. These are the groups that we've partnered with.

57:57 Drew It's actually something I've wanted to...

57:58 Monty Messex Vienna Star, Hoveness in Action, Drew University.

58:01 Drew Very interested in reaching that population. We don't do good.

58:03 Adam This is Drew University, by the way. I've never heard of this.

58:06 Drew Charles Drew is one of the first or first famous black physicians in this country.

58:11 Monty Messex It's a huge university in Linwood.

58:13 Drew It's a major contribution to the medical science.

58:16 Monty Messex They have mobile vans that go out and do testing all over LA County for HIV.

58:21 Adam All right. Give that national number out one more time because I don't want to dwell too much on the local aspect of this whole thing. National.

58:27 Monty Messex National. Okay. Can I give out a... Because the campaign is being done in a bunch of different cities. Can I give out the city numbers?

58:33 Adam No. Give out the national number.

58:35 Monty Messex Okay. So this is the CDC National AIDS Hotline, 1-800-342-2437, or Spanish, 800-344-7432.

58:45 Drew Are you guys putting something up on drdrew.com? Or we've organized that yet?

58:49 Monty Messex That's going to be after Get Tested Week, because then I'll be saying again.

58:55 Adam Melanie?

58:56 Caller Yes.

58:56 Adam You're 21. What's up?

58:59 Caller Well...

58:59 Adam Have you been tested for HIV?

59:01 Caller Yes, I have. I used to be an AIDS educator, actually.

59:04 Monty Messex Wow.

59:04 Adam Interesting. You are?

59:06 Caller Well, I used to be. The group sort of fizzled out.

59:09 Monty Messex What group was it?

59:10 Caller It was called the Rubber Conspiracy.

59:12 Monty Messex Cool.

59:13 Adam Interesting. That's great. That sounds like an improv group.

59:15 Caller But we did a lot of demonstrations with bananas.

59:19 Monty Messex Ah.

59:19 Caller Yeah.

59:20 Drew What's going on tonight, Melanie?

59:23 Caller Well, first of all, I need to sort of clarify. You really do have to believe me and believe this person when I say he does believe in Y2K and everything going down. So he has set up rations, generator.

59:38 Adam Who's that? Who?

59:39 Drew This paranoid boyfriend.

59:40 Caller Okay. There's this guy that I've known for a very long time and I've always been interested in him. And he's always been interested in me. We just never got together because he was close to a really good friend of mine. And now we've come to an age and time when we want to be with each other. But the problem is that he's with somebody else and he lives with her. And he doesn't want to break up with her.

1:00:03 Adam So you're both at the point where you're ready to come together as a couple, but the problem is that he's living with this other chick and they're having sex?

1:00:09 Caller Well, no. They haven't for a long time and then I guess he says that she wants to be with somebody else.

1:00:14 Monty Messex They need to be apart.

1:00:16 Adam They need to be apart. But they're living together.

1:00:18 Drew So he tells you. Right.

1:00:20 Caller No. Like I said, you really have to believe I've known him since I was 10 and I want to know.

1:00:24 Adam Drew works that rap when we travel too.

1:00:26 Drew By the way, I believe he's a paranoid guy wrapped up in his own ass. Okay? More reason why I wouldn't trust him in regards to this. All right.

1:00:33 Caller So what's not having sex with her?

1:00:34 Drew Sure.

1:00:35 Adam Okay. They're just living together. So what? What's the question?

1:00:38 Drew They sleep in the same bed?

1:00:39 Caller Yes. Yeah.

1:00:40 Drew Oh, please. Come on.

1:00:41 Adam All right. Well, who cares?

1:00:42 Caller You have to see her. She smokes pot and cigarettes and makes me look like Elizabeth Hurley.

1:00:47 Adam Did he ever have sex with her?

1:00:49 Caller Yeah. Like eight months ago.

1:00:50 Adam Uh-huh. Well, what happened? When did the bottom fall out of her physically? Or did she smoke pot and weed and pot and cigarettes and wasn't she a mess eight months ago?

1:01:04 Caller They just sort of end, but you're sort of stuck.

1:01:06 Adam Okay. Listen, the point is, is you're saying he wouldn't sleep with her because she's such a mess. He banged her eight months ago.

1:01:12 Caller That's what I say because I don't like her. Yeah.

1:01:15 Adam This is your thing. This is yours. This isn't the truth. We're not interested in your version of it. We just want the truth. So why doesn't he move out if he doesn't like her?

1:01:23 Caller Because he's set up.

1:01:25 Adam Okay. Why doesn't she move out?

1:01:28 Caller I don't know.

1:01:28 Adam Okay.

1:01:29 Caller Because he's insecure maybe.

1:01:30 Adam Okay. But he's in love with you.

1:01:32 Caller I'd like to... Yeah.

1:01:33 Adam Yeah.

1:01:34 Caller Yeah.

1:01:34 Adam Well, that's clear. And so you've presented... Compelling case. Listen, I want to say something to all the people calling this show. Do not pursue the legal profession at all. You'd all make the world's worst attorneys. You don't want to make a picture of them representing you?

1:01:48 Caller That's why I'm not doing that.

1:01:49 Drew All right. Smellie, what's your question?

1:01:51 Caller He asked me to wait for him.

1:01:53 Drew For what?

1:01:54 Caller Wait until after the first. See how things work out. I'm considering asking him to come and live with me. I've got my own place. He can set himself up here fine. Maybe on a mutual sort of platonic basis. He called me.

1:02:11 Adam All right. Hold on. Melanie? Do you have any kids?

1:02:14 Caller No.

1:02:15 Adam And what are you? Are you grossly overweight?

1:02:17 Caller No.

1:02:18 Adam Well, what's up with you? You have the thyroid condition or goiter or something on your neck?

1:02:23 Caller Yeah.

1:02:24 Adam What?

1:02:25 Caller What would that have to do with it?

1:02:26 Adam What do you have? Do you have something?

1:02:27 Caller I have an underactive thyroid.

1:02:29 Adam All right. I smelt, I smelt problem with the thyroid. Melanie, listen to me, honey. You're better than this guy. You understand? He's living with some fat chain smoker. He probably wears a Civil War cap around, and he's stockpiling munitions and canned goods in his bunker. And you're deeply in love with this idiot. You can't do any better in this hillbilly. Seriously, what does he do? What does he do? Construction?

1:02:55 Caller He's a computer technician.

1:02:57 Adam No.

1:02:57 Caller He really is.

1:02:58 Adam Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, he fixes them. Yeah, and waffle irons. Please. Melanie, come on. Is something wrong with you other than the thyroid?

1:03:10 Caller As far as...

1:03:12 Drew Why would you...

1:03:13 Adam Can't you just find somebody?

1:03:14 Drew Yeah, why do you believe in a love affair where there is no relationship?

1:03:19 Adam You know, why at age 21 are you... are all your eggs in his basket?

1:03:25 Caller Oh, they aren't. I hang out with other people. I want him. I want to be with him.

1:03:29 Adam All right, there's gonna be trouble. How much stuff is this guy stockpiled for Y2K?

1:03:34 Caller You know, I don't know exactly. He just... he said, can you wait after the first? And that's like... I said, what are you, set up or something?

1:03:41 Adam Why?

1:03:41 Caller What kind of clock are you on? He's like, well, I'm waiting for Y2K. And I went, are you for real?

1:03:45 Adam See, that's supposed to be a turn off, Melanie.

1:03:48 Caller It is, but I know him, and I've known him since I was 14, and we were each other's first kiss, and he brought me roses when I was 14, and I've been pushing him away forever.

1:03:56 Adam 14? He brought out your roses?

1:03:58 Caller Yes.

1:03:59 Adam Why didn't you get together with him then?

1:04:01 Caller I told you, because he was my best friend's older brother, and I was more concerned with my relationship with her.

1:04:07 Adam No, that is not true. If you really were into him, you would have been into him. He's living with a chain smoker right now, and you're into him?

1:04:13 Drew You're overcoming a lot of obstacles now that are far superior to a best friend.

1:04:17 Adam Alright. Hey, Melanie, please wake up, would you? Yeah, just be more realistic.

1:04:25 Drew Just assess reality on reality's terms, Melanie. What is is, he's with another woman, she's a loser, but he stays with her anyway, trying to put you off until he can deal with that.

1:04:37 Adam Talk to you after the first.

1:04:38 Drew Yeah.

1:04:38 Adam What the F is talk to you after the first? I smelt thyroid.

1:04:42 Drew I know, that was pretty good.

1:04:43 Adam Thank you.

1:04:44 Drew That was pretty good.

1:04:44 Adam I know when somebody's got problems. Listen, here's the thing, attractive, desirable people do not hang around with dirt heads who are planning on moving down in the bunker on New Year's Eve. They just don't. They're magically, they're out with other people. So everybody, just assume you're attractive, act like it and get out, would you? Please.

1:05:06 Monty Messex Be attractive on the inside.

1:05:08 Adam That's right. I don't want any of those people talking to me though. I only want to be attractive on the outside people. Wade?

1:05:15 Caller Yeah.

1:05:15 Adam You're 22.

1:05:16 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:05:17 Adam What's up?

1:05:17 Caller Well, about with this AIDS deal that you guys are talking about, when I was a newborn, an hour after I was born, I had a full blood transfusion and this was in 1977.

1:05:28 Adam Motorcycle accident?

1:05:31 Caller No, it was just-

1:05:31 Monty Messex After he was born.

1:05:33 Adam I was just making a joke.

1:05:35 Drew See? There are worse than me out there, Adam. Okay.

1:05:39 Adam Okay.

1:05:39 Drew Okay.

1:05:40 Caller Go ahead.

1:05:41 Adam Monty smoked too much weed in the hippie school.

1:05:44 Monty Messex I'm going to catch on.

1:05:45 Adam Go ahead.

1:05:46 Caller I was just wondering what the risks are, what the- I don't know the-

1:05:53 Adam Are you HIV positive?

1:05:54 Caller I don't know. I'm wondering.

1:05:56 Drew It'd be pretty hard to imagine you'd be 22 years HIV positive with no symptoms.

1:06:00 Monty Messex Also-

1:06:01 Caller When I was in elementary and everything like that, I missed a lot of school for just stupid sicknesses. I'd catch the cold instantly. I'd catch strep throat instantly, stuff like that.

1:06:10 Monty Messex When we- He's 22 and that was 77 and the virus didn't show up in the United States until the early 80s. But if you're worried about it-

1:06:18 Adam I'll forget it.

1:06:18 Monty Messex Get tested.

1:06:19 Adam Well, get tested because you may have slept with some hooker last weekend, but don't do it because you got a transfusion before-

1:06:27 Monty Messex Yeah, the virus showed up in the early 80s and it's-

1:06:31 Adam What about World War II veterans who got transfusions out of the battlefield?

1:06:35 Monty Messex You could get other things, hepatitis and stuff like that from-

1:06:37 Drew Yeah, I'd be much more concerned about hepatitis C because that wasn't-

1:06:40 Adam Yeah. But would symptoms surface if you got something at age 0 essentially and you were 22 now?

1:06:48 Drew He'd be dead by now. I mean, if he had not been treated all those years-

1:06:51 Adam Hepatitis or HIV.

1:06:53 Monty Messex Hepatitis C takes 20 to 30 years to show up if it does.

1:06:56 Adam Okay, so he's get tested. But wouldn't that show up? No. You'd have to screen for that.

1:07:00 Drew No, no, no.

1:07:01 Adam Okay.

1:07:01 Monty Messex You have to take-

1:07:02 Adam Drew keeps telling me he's going to bring the antibody for that in, but that's conveniently forget.

1:07:08 Drew What?

1:07:08 Adam Don't you tell me you're going to get me the Hepatitis vaccine?

1:07:13 Monty Messex For Hepatitis B.

1:07:14 Drew B with the B series? It's three different shots.

1:07:17 Adam Oh, forget it.

1:07:18 Monty Messex On air.

1:07:18 Adam Channel?

1:07:19 Drew I'd be happy to give it to you if you wanted.

1:07:20 Adam Three different shots? Where do I get them? In the Coolie?

1:07:23 Drew No.

1:07:24 Adam No?

1:07:24 Drew Arm.

1:07:25 Caller Yeah.

1:07:26 Adam Okay.

1:07:26 Drew I should be boosted too.

1:07:28 Adam Yeah, bring them in. We'll have shot day.

1:07:30 Monty Messex We've shot day on the air.

1:07:31 Adam Bring a little heroin too as long as we got the reggae. Channel? Chanel. I mean, Chanel? Boy, I'm sorry. Well, look, if anyone wants to know whether I screen these calls, now you know. I just look up, see the word, and it comes out of my mouth. Sorry, Chanel.

1:07:46 It's my nickname, you know, Channel.

1:07:47 Drew What's going on?

1:07:49 Hi.

1:07:50 Adam What's up?

1:07:51 I broke up with my boyfriend. Well, he broke up with me. It was in May, like early May. And we were together for like a year and a half. And it was like my first real boyfriend where I could trust him and feel comfortable around him. And it's just like, since we broke up, I haven't been able to even look at anybody and be attracted to them. Or if I am, it doesn't feel right.

1:08:16 Drew Can I make two comments about Chanel? A, she's making every effort to be clear. And I appreciate that. You notice that? Yes, great clarity. She was on hold for 102 minutes.

1:08:25 Monty Messex 102 minutes?

1:08:27 Drew Yeah, 104 minutes.

1:08:29 Adam That was your fault though, Drew. Drew picks the calls. That's why I can't pronounce the names.

1:08:33 Drew But be that as it may, we appreciate your waiting and your clarity. So let's be nice to our college when it's appropriate to.

1:08:38 Adam You haven't heard me being mean, have you?

1:08:42 Drew Tonight?

1:08:43 Adam No.

1:08:43 Drew No, but let's also be, let's not just be taller, let's actually point out and.

1:08:50 Adam Not being mean is being nice, you understand?

1:08:53 Drew I see that's how you see things. But all right. So what's the question for us?

1:08:57 I was just wondering if there's anything that, I mean, anyway, because.

1:09:01 Drew How long ago did he leave you?

1:09:02 Adam May.

1:09:03 May.

1:09:03 Adam Let's listen to our college.

1:09:04 Drew Because he cheated.

1:09:05 He's a jerk off, yeah.

1:09:06 Drew Because he cheated.

1:09:07 Yeah.

1:09:08 Drew Had you had previous.

1:09:09 I didn't find out until afterwards.

1:09:10 Drew Previous episodes of cheating in the past?

1:09:13 No. I had relationships in the past.

1:09:16 Drew Any cheating in your family? No.

1:09:20 Well, my uncle. It doesn't count.

1:09:23 Adam Unless he's cheating with you.

1:09:24 Drew Are your parents together?

1:09:25 Yeah. My dad's in the front room. My mom's in the bedroom.

1:09:28 Drew Right now?

1:09:29 Yeah.

1:09:30 Drew Wow. What about these bad relationships in the past? What was bad about them?

1:09:33 Well, let me see. One boyfriend lied to me, told me he was somewhere. I sent him $400 and he ended up like being deemed criminally insane.

1:09:41 Drew Is your dad an alcoholic?

1:09:42 No. Neither of my parents drank.

1:09:45 Drew Where did you get to this position of being such an easy target? I'm not a victim. I was like a professional codependent.

1:09:52 Adam Wiring money to the criminally insane at 15 and a half.

1:09:56 Drew What's this all about? Why these crazy relationships?

1:09:59 I don't know. My parents have always tried to protect me as much as possible, to kind of shelter me. I've been kind of like trying to rebel by finding the bad boys and that type of thing. Before I got together with my last boyfriend, I was with somebody who was a drug addict and he had drugged me and raped me. And that was kind of one reason I had a lot of dogs.

1:10:24 Drew Were your parents really aggressive with keeping you sheltered, sort of intrusive?

1:10:28 Caller Not when I was younger.

1:10:29 And then I turned, I got into junior high and they were kind of like, okay, this is a scary part of adolescence.

1:10:35 Drew Did you have an eating disorder?

1:10:37 Do I? I did. And I started gaining weight and I've kind of been dealing with it now.

1:10:47 Adam Here's the deal. First off, they shouldn't name you Chanel. That's part of the problem. Number two, there's something going on here because this stuff doesn't start up at thirteen years old or twelve or whatever. The groundwork was laid when you were much younger. About the time Monty's mom was beating me in the back of the car. That's when that kind of stuff really, really... That's when the scarring takes place.

1:11:08 Drew There's something intrusive or aggressive about the quality of parenting.

1:11:12 Adam It's not just your parents were overprotective, so now you dated this junkie who drugged you and raped you. And then this other guy is a criminal and insane.

1:11:19 Drew It doesn't work like that.

1:11:20 Adam No. I wish it did. I really do. But it doesn't work that way.

1:11:25 Drew If it does, the question to you would be, have you had enough of this yet? You start making better choices as a man, then you can start having a relationship with guys that you can trust and test that out. I don't think you've had enough yet. I think your radar is still off and you're going to choose guys who are...

1:11:38 Adam Listen, she's hanging back. She's not getting involved. And that's good.

1:11:41 Drew Yeah, but it's the flip side of the same coin. I'm either going to go for the drug addict who's raping me, or I'm nobody. That's it.

1:11:47 Caller I'm out.

1:11:48 Drew It's still the flip side of the same coin.

1:11:50 Adam Yeah, but one side's heads and the other side's tails. So that's different.

1:11:54 Drew Tails is better.

1:11:54 Adam You're right. Tails is better. That's right. Do you prefer tails over the heads part? If you really think about it.

1:12:01 Drew What if you were in a rush? I figured I'd give you the chance to prefer heads.

1:12:04 Adam Alright, thank you very much. There you go, Drew. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Drew, watch your language, please. He's the project coordinator over at the Children's Hospital and a very old friend of mine. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll get back. We'll tell you a little more about the AIDS testing and prevention and all that good stuff and take more calls after this.

1:12:24 Caller Back once again with the Loveline.

1:12:26 Drew Loveline, Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

1:12:58 Adam It is a loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Monty Messex is our guest tonight. Monty is the project coordinator at the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles, and we got National AIDS Day coming up. And I don't know what you guys are doing to celebrate, but I'm staying home from work on National AIDS Day.

1:13:24 Monty Messex World AIDS Day.

1:13:26 Caller World AIDS Day.

1:13:28 Adam World AIDS Day. Yeah, it means World AIDS Day.

1:13:30 Monty Messex And I hope that everybody from December 1st to 7th just thinks about and maybe goes out and gets an HIV test, or at least call one of the places and talk about getting an HIV test. A lot of people are afraid about getting tested, and the first step is just to call up and talk.

1:13:44 Drew You know, maybe we ought to be clear about this. We're not so interested in everybody getting tested. We're interested in people who should be getting tested, who aren't.

1:13:50 Monty Messex Absolutely.

1:13:51 Adam Listen, let me say this to Monty. I don't want to steal any of your thunder, but here's the problem that I think we have in this society as far as all of this stuff. I think you do your cause more harm than good when you get up there and you go, everybody's got the same chance of getting AIDS. This is a disease that affects rich and poor and white and black and everybody. There's something, and I don't know what it is, but we're hell bent on this country in making sure that everyone thinks that everyone has the exact same chance of getting a certain disease, everything. I don't care how poor you are, I don't care what color your skin is, I don't care what your religion, you can all get it. And yes, that's true. It does not discriminate against the color of your skin. But listen, a guy who's been married for 20 years and is having heterosexual sex and isn't a junkie has a much, much, much lesser-

1:14:42 Monty Messex No, if he has the same partner, if he has the same partner and they both-

1:14:46 Adam Even if he swaps around with other heterosexual people as virtually zero chance of getting this thing. Not that he doesn't have a chance, but it's a hell of a lot less than a guy who's a junkie or a guy who's hanging out in the bathroom at a gay bar or people that are engaging in what's called high-risk behavior. And so here's my take. Let's talk to those people. I don't care about the people in society that have almost no chance of getting it. I don't care about them for anything. Really, whether it's disease, whether it's accidents, whatever it is. There's going to be a percentage of society that has almost a 0 percent of having something happen to them, and yet it's going to happen to them. But I'm not worried about them because I'm interested in the big numbers, the big group, the people that are engaging in dangerous behavior. And I think it's almost negligent and it's a sort of political correctness that we engage in in this country that defeats the purpose, which is we should be talking to a core group of people that have a high risk of getting this group of getting this disease. And that is HIV, people that use needles, intravenous drug users, homosexuals, and a couple others.

1:15:56 Drew A couple others.

1:15:56 Adam Right.

1:15:57 Drew And there is a difference. The couple other group is the one we really wanted to get at, which African American women for instance.

1:16:02 Monty Messex Right.

1:16:03 Drew Very high risk.

1:16:03 Monty Messex Los Angeles County, it's going, I mean the rates are going through the ceiling.

1:16:07 Drew And that's for multiple reasons for exposure.

1:16:09 Monty Messex Right.

1:16:11 Drew Hispanics come in, and women, Hispanic women.

1:16:12 Monty Messex Latina women. Yeah, come in next. Latina women and Latina men who have sex with men. Right.

1:16:20 Adam That makes you gay though, right?

1:16:22 Monty Messex No, it doesn't necessarily make you gay. Because there are people, there are-

1:16:25 Adam God thinks you're gay. Believe me. You're blowing some guy, you're gay.

1:16:28 Drew Gay sex.

1:16:29 Adam Okay. But they have no higher chance of getting than anyone else. Everyone's got exactly the same chance.

1:16:33 Monty Messex No, it's not a question of sex. It's just a question of how they define themselves.

1:16:35 Adam Why do we have to do this as a society? Listen, the people that are in the high risk, that are engaging in the behavior, that's going to get them this, are going to get it much...

1:16:46 Monty Messex Gay describes a lifestyle, and men who have sex with men describes a behavior.

1:16:51 Adam Right. Okay. But listen, you guys are having sex with guys, you got a higher chance of getting it than guys who are having sex with guys. Even then, you got a higher chance of getting it. Come on.

1:17:02 Monty Messex But if you're using a condom, and you're using a condom correctly...

1:17:06 Adam Okay. So put the condom on and get tested. But listen, all you people that have had the same girlfriend or wife or boyfriend for five years, or who aren't really making the rounds, aren't doing the intravenous drugs, aren't at the gay bath houses... You people stay home. That's what I want to say. And we never get that message across. Right.

1:17:26 Monty Messex But this campaign is specifically directed towards young people.

1:17:32 Adam Right.

1:17:32 Monty Messex And the hope is, is that we're going to, through this campaign, reach out and some young person, specifically, you know, maybe if we can find someone that, that, that is going to get tested and, and if they find out that they're HIV positive early on, then they have more benefit.

1:17:47 Adam Right.

1:17:47 Monty Messex And they get into treatment. And that's really the heart of this campaign.

1:17:50 Drew In adolescents, it's hard to get at them because they have sort of magical thinking it's not going to happen to them. If we can get them, we can prevent consequences.

1:17:57 Adam Who are you talking to? We talk to those retards all night. All right. So give the national number out. Would you please, Monty?

1:18:05 Monty Messex This national number is a CDC number. It's not actually for the campaign because the campaign just has them in different cities.

1:18:10 Adam But if you call this, you might be able to get some.

1:18:12 Monty Messex If you call this number, you're going to be able to get somewhere to find some place to get tested in your city.

1:18:18 Adam That's what we want.

1:18:19 Monty Messex And they won't. So it's 800-342-2437.

1:18:23 Drew And Los Angeles, 800-758-0880.

1:18:27 Adam All right. Jessica, you're 19.

1:18:31 Caller Yeah.

1:18:31 Adam What's up?

1:18:33 Caller Well, I have a question.

1:18:35 Caller When I was 12, one of my neighbors down the road, he used to finger me.

1:18:38 Caller But it only happened once that I can remember.

1:18:40 Drew How old were you?

1:18:42 Caller I was like 12.

1:18:43 Adam It happened once?

1:18:44 Caller It only happened once.

1:18:45 Caller Yeah.

1:18:46 Adam How old is your neighbor down the road?

1:18:49 Caller He was older.

1:18:49 Caller He was like, I don't know, 18 or 19.

1:18:51 Adam All right.

1:18:52 Caller And the, I don't know, my best friend had a crush on him.

1:18:57 Adam Okay.

1:18:58 Caller All right.

1:18:58 Caller So her.

1:19:02 Caller My question was, could that have possibly triggered my brain to think that, because I mean, I like sex a lot now. I don't have a problem with sex or anything like that. But before that, I mean, I was brought up in a Catholic house where you weren't supposed to have sex before you were married and stuff like that.

1:19:17 Drew What do you mean you like it a lot? What's happening now?

1:19:20 Caller I just like it.

1:19:21 Drew Well, that's okay. What do you mean? What does that mean? You do it with multiple partners all the time? Well, yeah.

1:19:26 Caller I mean, a little.

1:19:28 Caller I hear stories from girls at my work or at school or whatever. I don't know. It seems a little more down to earth. Like I'm a little more.

1:19:35 Adam Let me talk to the subject first. Please. I'm not following her. Jessica, you're banging around with more than one person? How many people?

1:19:43 Caller Huh?

1:19:44 Adam How many people?

1:19:46 Caller Well, I have one boyfriend right now. I mean, I don't like, I don't know. I used to be.

1:19:51 Adam All right. Hold on. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done talking to the retards that call this show. I'm just done. I'm extra horny. Okay. What does that mean? I think about sex. Okay. Are you having sex with more than one person? Yes.

1:20:05 Monty Messex Do you use a condom?

1:20:06 Adam I have one boyfriend right now. That's the person I'm seeing.

1:20:10 Monty Messex Do you think that you're at risk?

1:20:12 Adam She doesn't care.

1:20:13 Monty Messex No, but.

1:20:14 Adam Jessica. How many people are you having sex with right now?

1:20:17 Caller One.

1:20:18 Adam Okay.

1:20:19 Caller But I'm talking about my past.

1:20:20 Adam Okay, but I just asked you if you're having sex with more than one person.

1:20:24 Caller Well, I have.

1:20:26 Drew How many?

1:20:26 Caller Just not right now.

1:20:27 Drew How many?

1:20:28 Caller I've had up to four.

1:20:29 Drew Four in your lifetime.

1:20:32 Adam Four in one sitting?

1:20:34 Caller In one time, yeah.

1:20:35 Adam Really?

1:20:35 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

1:20:36 Drew Four simultaneously?

1:20:38 Adam Yes.

1:20:39 Drew Altogether?

1:20:40 Caller Yes.

1:20:40 Drew Or just four sort of being on rotation?

1:20:43 Caller On rotation.

1:20:44 Drew Four on rotation.

1:20:46 Adam So the four guys weren't in the room at the same time?

1:20:48 Caller No, they were.

1:20:50 Adam They were. That's what she's trying to say and you had to confuse her more.

1:20:53 Monty Messex And how old are you, Jessica?

1:20:54 Caller I'm 19.

1:20:55 Monty Messex You're 19? Let me ask you something. Do you think that, I mean, we've been talking about HIV and this and that.

1:21:01 Caller I've been tested before.

1:21:03 Monty Messex Do you think that you're at risk?

1:21:04 Caller I don't think so.

1:21:06 Monty Messex Do you use protection or anything like that? Condoms? Usually, yeah.

1:21:11 Drew Condoms are like wearing a seatbelt. You gotta do it all the time to get the benefit. All right.

1:21:16 Adam Jessica?

1:21:17 Caller My question was that first experience of when I was 12, could that have triggered my brain to think the way that I do now?

1:21:24 Drew Which now is that you're just completely overwhelmed. Let me propose a different...

1:21:29 Caller I've calmed down in the last year and a half.

1:21:32 Drew I propose a different hypothesis. One of two things. Either something happened to you before you were twelve or there's alcoholism in your family. This is part of the manifestation of surviving an alcoholic family system and yourself having inherited the genetic mechanism for alcoholism. Do you like drugs and stuff yourself?

1:21:55 Caller I used to.

1:21:57 Drew You're not done with it. You've switched it over to sex.

1:22:00 Adam So Jessica, it's more that than it is the guy up the street.

1:22:04 Drew The guy up the street was about being in an alcoholic family. That was running away from that. But what you're continuing to do is to use that same mechanism to handle unpleasant feeling states. It's something you better deal with because you're going to end up unhappy from a health standpoint as Monty was mentioning here. Call SA or AA or get involved in some 12 step process.

1:22:25 Adam Jessica?

1:22:26 Caller Hello?

1:22:26 Adam You're 23.

1:22:27 Caller Hi. What's up?

1:22:29 Caller The other night, I noticed kind of like a cut on my boyfriend's penis, and when it was like on the shaft, and when I asked him about it, he said that it was from masturbating, and I was wondering if that's possible.

1:22:44 Drew Yeah. It could be from herpes. Pardon me?

1:22:48 Adam It sort of looked like a cut. It looked like a cut or an ulcer?

1:22:52 Caller No, it was more like a cut.

1:22:53 Drew Herpes can look like a cut.

1:22:54 Adam Shut up, you're...

1:22:56 Caller It's more kind of like if you have sex and you're dry and it rubs.

1:23:01 Adam Yeah. See, that's more of a herpe than a cut.

1:23:06 Drew Honestly, both can look like that. Herpes can look like that.

1:23:08 Adam I'm just saying, if it looked like a paper cut, that's not herpes.

1:23:12 Drew No, right. It was like... Sort of an erosion.

1:23:15 Adam Yeah. It's not because he didn't get it because he was wearing his decoder ring, which has happened to me a handful of times. He got it because he was going... No pun intended. Yeah. I don't know if handful is the exact terminology. Finger full of times. But the point is, was he going at it multiple times or something?

1:23:37 Caller Not that I know.

1:23:37 Drew Here's our diagnosis. Excessive masturbation or herpes, or weird masturbation.

1:23:42 Adam Did you question him on it?

1:23:44 Caller Yeah. I asked him.

1:23:45 Caller I asked him if he had had sex with somebody and he said no.

1:23:51 Adam It's hard. It's hard. How old is he?

1:23:54 Caller He's 30.

1:23:55 Drew He may have had herpes from long before.

1:23:58 Adam Hold on a second. Let me just do a little work. Let me tell you something. At 30, a guy knows his way around his own Johnson pretty good. I mean, seriously, guys, when's the last time you did some damage to your peckerwood? You know what I'm saying? By yourself. I mean, you know, that's the kind of thing that...

1:24:17 Monty Messex But it could happen.

1:24:17 Adam Yeah, well...

1:24:18 Drew A sexual compulsive could do that.

1:24:19 Adam All right, here's what I'm saying. Yes. 16 and a half, you're spending the weekend at your grandparent's place and you go for the Prel in the shower and there's some damage done. But at 30, when you've had 15 years to sort of hone your craft, unless you're compulsive or have a problem of a sexual nature, this is herpes. Now, I don't trust this guy now, so let me ask. Jessica, he's 30 years old?

1:24:47 Caller Yeah.

1:24:48 Adam Is he sort of compulsive sexually?

1:24:51 Caller No.

1:24:52 Adam He doesn't seem preoccupied with it? No. And you don't think he masturbates multiple times in a day?

1:25:00 Caller No, not at all.

1:25:01 Adam Not at all?

1:25:02 Caller No, just like once a day. Well, not once a day, but once in a day.

1:25:07 Monty Messex This is the thing that's going to piss him off.

1:25:10 Adam I'm done.

1:25:10 Monty Messex The semantics.

1:25:12 Adam I'm done examining you.

1:25:13 Monty Messex But, Jessica, can I say this, that, and just for maybe other people listening.

1:25:18 Adam Hold on. I gotta know what that means.

1:25:20 Drew What's the difference?

1:25:21 Caller There is no difference.

1:25:23 Drew Once a day and once in a day.

1:25:25 Caller No, not like every day.

1:25:27 Monty Messex Okay, now I've got three things going on.

1:25:29 Caller You can do it every day, just once in a while. And it's not like a couple times a day, it's just once a day.

1:25:37 Drew In other words, when the magic day arrives, it's not multiple times in that day.

1:25:41 Adam And he does it once a day, but that day could happen once a year. Is that kind of what you're saying? Hey, did you go to junior college, Jessica? Really, you didn't go to any college, did you? Yeah, I knew it was a choice between junior and zero. Even though the guys, people didn't go to junior college, it was somehow higher up on my list, except for Monty Messex.

1:26:00 Monty Messex Hey, well, you know, I went on.

1:26:01 Drew We gotta go to break.

1:26:02 Adam All right, hey, listen, Jessica.

1:26:03 Monty Messex A lesion is a way that you can be exposed to HIV on the shaft of the penis. High risk.

1:26:09 Adam Yeah, Jessica, this smells like it could be herpes. Okay. Yeah, because if this guy's masturbating very infrequently, how is he pulling the skin off his penis through masturbation?

1:26:21 Caller Yeah.

1:26:21 Adam All right, look into it. I don't trust him.

1:26:23 Caller Okay.

1:26:24 Adam Okay.

1:26:24 Caller Okay, thanks.

1:26:25 Adam All right, masturbates once in a day, but not once a day. I'm going to talk to Mr. Al, see if we can get to the bottom of this riddle. Monty Messex is here, project coordinator for Children's Hospital, talking about AIDS awareness and testing, and we'll be back after this.

1:26:40 Monty Messex Let's have some more fun.

1:26:41 Caller Okay, let's do it.

1:26:44 Call Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:26:48 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:27:19 Adam It is the Loveline. I'm Adam Nettis. Drew Monty Messex is our guest tonight. He's the project coordinator at Children's Hospital of Los Angeles, and he's spreading the word about this new syndrome called GRIDS, the Gay-Related Intestinal Disease. And apparently, the gay guys get this, and they're dropping like flies.

1:27:38 Drew And we recently isolated a virus they call the Human E-Cell Lymphotropic Virus, HTLV.

1:27:45 Adam All right.

1:27:46 Monty Messex Now, it has the...

1:27:48 Adam It's now HIV. So you should all go out and get tested. It's really...

1:27:52 Monty Messex No, not everybody.

1:27:53 Adam Yeah, not everybody. Just the troublemakers. Yes.

1:27:56 Monty Messex No, everybody should go.

1:27:58 Adam No, not everybody.

1:27:58 Monty Messex Everybody should. Everybody should. I have a friend that went to Italy and slept with a guy and came back totally normal, and she was giving birth to her first child and she found out she was HIV positive. Her boyfriend in Italy never said that she was shooting up or anything like that, and then she was going out with a good friend of mine.

1:28:17 Adam Crazy guineas. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if you travel, you better check it out because the world's a mess. And yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry.

1:28:26 Monty Messex No.

1:28:28 Adam You want to give that national number out one more time?

1:28:31 Monty Messex No, I want to give out the LA County number.

1:28:34 Adam All right.

1:28:34 Monty Messex Go ahead. All right. In LA County, 800-758-0880. And on the 7th of December, it's the end of our Get Tested week. We're going to have, we're cosponsoring Club Profilactive. And that's at the, it's 830 p.m. to 1 at the Grand Avenue Night Club. Three bucks to get in.

1:28:53 Adam Man, you figure you're getting late if you go to that event.

1:28:57 Monty Messex All ages, no drugs, no alcohol.

1:28:59 Adam Club kind of though. Yeah, but you're getting something.

1:29:02 Monty Messex Los Angeles. Hip Hop, Reggae, and Booty music.

1:29:06 Adam World AIDS Day is coming up. All right, Buddy, you're 18. Yeah. What's up?

1:29:13 Caller My girlfriend broke up with me about a week ago. And we were together about 11 months. And she told me that she wanted to go out, date other people, experience how it is to be 18. She just turned 18 seven days after I did. But she said she still loves me and wants to be in a relationship with me.

1:29:33 Adam No. You said, don't you still love me and want to be in a relationship with me? And she said, yeah. How could you do that?

1:29:39 Caller She said, I'm all, do you still have feelings for me? And she said, yes, I do.

1:29:44 Drew Let's see. That's exactly what Adam said.

1:29:47 Adam You led her.

1:29:48 Drew She's required to say that when you pin her like that.

1:29:51 Adam Yeah. You understand? Buddy?

1:29:53 Drew She's done.

1:29:54 Adam She's done. She's 18 and she's done. Don't listen to the words. Listen to the actions.

1:30:01 Drew The intent of the actions too.

1:30:02 Adam Okay.

1:30:03 Caller But we went out the other night.

1:30:05 Adam Yeah.

1:30:06 Caller She still wants to be friends.

1:30:07 Drew No, don't let that happen.

1:30:08 Adam Buddy, move on. Move on.

1:30:10 Drew It's painful for you to get stuck like that.

1:30:12 Adam Pack up what's left of your dignity and move on. Okay. Trust me, buddy. I'm 35.

1:30:18 Monty Messex 35.

1:30:19 Adam I've done no traveling but I'm still a sage. I understand these things, all right?

1:30:23 Caller Okay.

1:30:24 Adam Don't make the same mistakes I made.

1:30:26 Caller Okay.

1:30:26 Adam All right. Please. See, everyone does it. They call up, they screwed up 18-year-old guys. They go, but she said she still cares for me. Did she say she still cares for you or did you say, do you still care for me? She nodded her head. Yeah.

1:30:39 Drew Of course. Either way.

1:30:41 Adam Listen, everybody, people, because they're humans, when they break up with somebody they were in love with or were intimate with.

1:30:49 Drew They care about you.

1:30:49 Adam They're not interested in destroying the person. They couch it in. Listen, I care very much about you. I hope we can always be friends. I still love you. I'm just not in love with you, but I have great love for you. But meanwhile, I want to bang one of your friends for a while. Then you go, do you think there's any chance? Oh, yes.

1:31:09 Drew I want to be a cross.

1:31:10 Adam It's sometime. Yes, Drew, I'll play the jilted lover and you play everyone.

1:31:17 Drew All males and females.

1:31:18 Adam All males and females. Do you think there is any chance at some point in the future that maybe down the road our paths could cross again and we could rekindle some relationship?

1:31:29 Drew Of course. I just need my space right now. Just right now. Just please understand.

1:31:34 Adam But what about, I mean, don't you care for me?

1:31:37 Drew Of course. How could I not? Think of what we had together.

1:31:42 Adam I mean, don't you think we could just see each other a little bit? I mean, just to see how it went.

1:31:48 Drew I would love to be friends. I was hoping for that. I was hoping we could still be friends.

1:31:52 Adam Well, you still, I mean, there's still something between. I mean, you still have feelings, right?

1:31:56 Drew I love you, of course.

1:31:57 Adam Were you lying when you said you loved me six months ago?

1:31:59 Drew No, I love you just like I did then. And how could I not after what we've been through? You're supposed to go. You do still love me.

1:32:07 Adam So you do love me then, right?

1:32:10 Drew Yeah, but I really need my space right now. I don't know. It's just me.

1:32:15 Adam Because you turned 19 and a half and you want to know it's like to live in the shoes of a 19 and a half girl?

1:32:21 Drew I can't possibly live my whole life with just one or two or even three or four relationships.

1:32:25 Adam I understand. Okay. So there's hope?

1:32:28 Drew Of course.

1:32:28 Adam Okay. Thank you.

1:32:29 Drew Enjoy.

1:32:30 Caller Thank you.

1:32:32 Adam Now, don't call.

1:32:33 Monty Messex You guys make a cute couple. I have to say.

1:32:35 Adam Stacey?

1:32:36 Monty Messex Yeah?

1:32:36 Adam You're 24?

1:32:37 Caller Yes.

1:32:38 Adam You gag while giving oral sex?

1:32:41 Caller Yeah.

1:32:42 Adam I consider that the ultimate compliment. I wish some girl would do that for once with me.

1:32:47 Caller No, but it causes problems because sometimes it's to the point to where it makes me throw up.

1:32:53 Adam Right.

1:32:54 Drew Oh, boy.

1:32:54 Adam Oh, could you imagine that acid reflux on the penis, Drew? Very sensitive area.

1:32:59 Drew That's a differential diagnosis I haven't thought of in terms of the pain.

1:33:02 Adam Think about it. Think about the damage it could do. All right. Why don't you, I don't know, get that patch or something.

1:33:09 Drew No, keep it. There are other ways to do it than putting it way in your mouth. You know what I'm saying?

1:33:13 Adam Can you try that?

1:33:14 Drew Like...

1:33:15 Adam Well, listen, the point is, is adjust your technique.

1:33:17 Drew Yeah.

1:33:18 Adam All right? Because if you have gag reflex, you have gag reflex.

1:33:21 Drew That's right.

1:33:21 Adam All right. Do men have that more than women? Straight men?

1:33:25 Drew More gag?

1:33:26 Adam Yeah.

1:33:26 Drew No.

1:33:27 Adam Because I try to brush my tongue, I almost puke.

1:33:30 Drew Yeah.

1:33:30 Adam And I think about a woman giving oral sex. I couldn't do it.

1:33:33 Drew I couldn't do it. You have that.

1:33:35 Adam Yeah. I think I have it in my ass, too, just for the record, if anyone listening is thinking of getting any ideas.

1:33:43 Caller You throw up?

1:33:44 Adam It's a form of it, yeah. Something comes out, I'll tell you that. We'll take a break.

1:33:54 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:34:23 Adam All right, here we go. That's it. I want to thank my old friend, Monty Messex, who's here, making a difference in the world. Unlike-

1:34:32 Monty Messex Thanks for having me.

1:34:33 Adam Who would have guessed all those years ago, when they were at the hippie school together, Monty would be out there changing the world. We, Drew, you don't want to give that national number out one more time before we pack it in.

1:34:48 Drew I'll give the local number. It's 1-800-758-0880, and the national number is 1-800-342-2437.

1:34:58 Adam All right. Monty, thank you very much for coming in.

1:35:01 Monty Messex Thanks for having me, Adam. Thanks for having me, Drew. I appreciate it.

1:35:04 Adam God bless you for the work that you're doing. And Drew, I'll see you tomorrow too. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. All right. No oral sex for you tonight. Well now.

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Sunday, November 28, 1999