Episode 1000754887599

3:49 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

4:00 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

4:02 Voiceover Loveline.

4:04 Adam Addiction medicine specialist. Drew, do a little bit of talking.

4:07 Drew All right, while you swallow that burrito?

4:09 Adam Yeah.

4:11 Drew But don't, you know, do you have to regale us with all those noises? Can't you hold the mic a few feet away from that? Yeah, there we go. Again, the phone number. LOVE, A1800, LOVE191.

4:21 You can't do better than a goddamn phone number.

4:22 Drew Hang on a second. I want to get into it. The facts in which we never... oh, thank you.

4:26 That's good.

4:27 Drew The facts which we never really get is 310-854-4455. And when Adam is done with burritos, you can put him on now. He's done with burrito. There you are.

4:36 There we go.

4:37 Adam All right, we're ready to party. No guests tonight.

4:39 Drew Right.

4:40 Adam And I don't know if this is good or bad or how this sounds, but I'm never happier than when we don't have a guest.

4:47 Drew Yeah.

4:48 Adam Not that I have anything against guests. To me, I work and it's embarrassing to speak this way. It really is.

4:57 Drew Just those two words together, as it applies to you, I couldn't quite handle it. I work. I work.

5:02 Adam I live for things not happening. Like as a kid, when I showed up at school, if we had a substitute teacher, I just couldn't have been happier. And when there's no guest on this show, I feel like I don't have to do my job as much. And then I feel better.

5:20 Drew Yeah, that's good. I'm glad to make you happy.

5:23 All right, so we're going to find some love tonight.

5:25 Adam And the lightning round. I may start the lightning round about ten minutes and just have it go through the entire show. But I guarantee the lightning round will strike tonight, everybody. So we're going to burn through some calls and have a good old Adam and Drew time tonight. Chris? Chris? You're 15, what's up?

5:44 Caller I was wondering why guys had nipples. Because you know, we don't use them. And by the way, you guys are so awesome.

5:49 Adam Thank you. It's uh...

5:51 Drew We think any less of us, we can't figure out the answer.

5:54 Adam No, we know what the answer is. We talked about this. Because when you're born, you're born a woman. Or when you're conceived.

6:01 Drew Oh yeah.

6:01 Adam So you start down the woman path.

6:03 Drew Absolutely. I thought he was asking why in some sort of cosmic sense.

6:08 Adam Well, somewhere around 12 or 13, you make that jump to man.

6:13 Caller No.

6:15 Adam We're all in the womb.

6:17 Drew In embryological development, we all start female.

6:19 Adam For how long?

6:23 Drew I don't know how many weeks in. It's pretty quick that you start to differentiate though. And the things that would have become ovaries start to evolve into testes and start to move around. And there's actually a nipple line. There's a whole line of nipples just like a dog has.

6:35 Adam I prefer a pig.

6:36 Drew And those are pig has, a dolphin. And they are resorb except for the two that some people end up with more.

6:42 Adam Right.

6:42 Drew Some of them have supernumerary nipples. And men get them just like women and I don't know, it's just part of remnant development. Alright.

6:48 Adam We're fine though, right?

6:49 Drew We're fine.

6:49 Adam Hey, listen. I like my nipples getting a little worked over. I know you find that repugnant and that you retch when you hear me say that.

6:58 Drew It's not just me. It's the sensibility of our listeners.

7:01 Adam Ladies, mark it on your calendars. I like a little nipple work.

7:06 Drew Where is the David Allen Grier vomiting?

7:11 Adam I think most guys enjoy a little nipple work. Am I right, fellas?

7:14 Drew Is that in response to why do we have nipples?

7:17 Adam Well, I mean, women have... There is a sort of sexual counterpart to all the parts that most women have, right? Or that women have.

7:26 Drew Yeah.

7:26 Adam I mean, they have the clitoris. We have the clopinus. Right? I mean, we have our own thing. They have their thing. Their nipples are an erogenous zone. Ours probably aren't quite as sensitive. But I can tell you, I enjoy good nippling. Nipple nippling? Yeah. I mean, men have some sensitivity there, right? I mean, if women are 100%, you know, men are 40, 60, whatever. Yikes. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Now you know. Next commercial break. I want a little nippling.

8:01 Mark? Mark.

8:05 Adam Mark, you're 25.

8:06 Caller Yeah. What's up? Well, I'm a heavy pot smoker, and I'm wondering if that'll mess up my other medication. I'm on propranol, because when I was 17, I had a stroke.

8:17 Drew You had a stroke?

8:18 Caller Yeah. Are you sure of that? Yeah, pretty sure.

8:21 Drew How did that manifest?

8:23 Caller How did it what?

8:24 Drew Manifest.

8:25 Adam What happened?

8:26 Caller Well, what happened was I was smoking a lot of weed and doing some crystal meth back then, and I would wake up in the morning and I wouldn't be able to feel my leg, and pretty soon, like, I wouldn't be able to feel half my body, half my tongue, whatnot, and I'd be thrown up, and they would take me to the hospital.

8:44 Adam Well, as long as you learned your lesson, that's the important part.

8:47 Caller With one drug, anyway.

8:49 Drew That was the speed, right?

8:50 Caller Yeah.

8:51 Adam Is that a stroke? Did they tell you you had a stroke?

8:54 Caller Yeah. They said it was a stroke, and they tried some tablets under my tongue. They didn't work for a while, so they gave me the propranol, and it seemed to...

9:02 Drew Was this because your blood pressure was so high?

9:04 Caller I think so, yeah.

9:05 Drew Yeah.

9:05 Caller Okay.

9:06 Drew Well, that's the speed. You didn't tell them you were on speed, of course.

9:09 No. Yeah.

9:10 Drew It's not... You should have told them you were on speed, okay? You got to talk to your doctors about this.

9:16 Adam Well, why? It's not on speed anymore.

9:18 Drew Well, first of all, he's doing other drugs. And secondly, the cause of the stroke may not have been the blood pressure. The blood pressure may have been a response to what he induced here, and the treatment he's getting may not be quite right. It may be more of a migraineous type phenomenon he had.

9:31 Adam Well, what do you do for a...

9:32 Caller Well, I may have a migraine after the effects of being numb and stuff wore off.

9:36 Drew You got a migraine then?

9:37 Caller Yeah.

9:38 Drew Yeah, so this whole thing may have been migraine, and so maybe that's why they put the Indian Interal to block future migraine type phenomena.

9:44 Adam What do you do for a living, Mark?

9:46 Caller I work at All American Pawn Pawn Shop.

9:48 Adam You work at a pawn shop?

9:50 Caller Yup.

9:50 Adam Let me ask you a question about these pawn shops, because I don't get it. I don't know the prices of guitars or barbeque equipment or jewelry, but I do know the prices of tools. I know how much every tool costs. Once in a while, I'll go into a pawn shop because I'll see a reciprocating saw or circular saw or worm drive saw in the window and I'll think, hey, maybe I'll go get a good deal on some tools. The tool that cost 135 bucks at the Home Depot with a three-year warranty in the box, UA. Holes 129 for, and it's been rolling around the bed of a guy's F-Ford 150 who lived in Oregon for six years.

10:32 Caller How long ago did you see it on sale at the store before you saw it?

10:36 Adam I have been in many pawn shops many times and the prices of tools are about 3% cheaper than brand new. Did you hear what he said?

10:44 Drew He's telling you though.

10:45 Caller But that's the starting point.

10:46 Drew See, they decay.

10:48 Caller Pawn shop and wheel and deal.

10:49 Caller You got a deal.

10:50 Caller Yeah, definitely.

10:52 Adam So when you go to a pawn shop, you just keep talking.

10:54 Caller Oh yeah.

10:55 Drew It's like a rug dealer or something.

10:56 Adam It's hard to imagine that they... It's hard to talk when they start that high. You're too pissed. What I'm saying is...

11:04 Drew Maybe that's a good advantage on you. They bring you in so pissed off that they work a little bit.

11:08 Adam If your car is 45 grand new and there's a beat up old version of your car that's falling apart and the guy wants $44,000 for it, you're pissed.

11:18 Where do you even begin?

11:20 Adam That's my point.

11:21 Drew They want you bewildered. They want you off balance. They got you.

11:24 Caller Man, that is...

11:26 Adam God, that's got to be Donna the Dead in there at a pawn shop. You know, guys coming in there hawking their grandpa's violin so they can get a hit of smack.

11:35 Caller Mark's got to talk to his doctors about this.

11:37 Adam Kathy?

11:38 Caller Yeah?

11:38 Adam You're 20.

11:39 Drew Big monkey on his back.

11:40 What's up?

11:43 Caller I'm 20 and I'm pregnant, 8 months, and I really don't know how to take care of the kid and the father's gone. I don't have any... the only financial support I'm on is SSI because I'm mentally disabled, kind of. From what? I've got multiple personalities and schizophrenia.

12:01 Adam Can't one of them work?

12:02 Caller Huh? No. Oh yeah, they work.

12:05 Adam You could work at a video store though, couldn't you? Isn't that... don't they hire this sort of emotionally disabled there?

12:12 Caller I could work but I'm pregnant so they won't hire me. Oh, I see. They don't have to know that I messed up.

12:17 Adam Well, which personality is pregnant? All of them?

12:20 Caller All of them, yeah, because it's my body. Oh, you're right.

12:23 Drew Who's talking to us now?

12:23 Adam I wasn't thinking.

12:24 Caller Cat's talking.

12:25 Drew Cat is?

12:26 Caller Cat?

12:26 Drew Is this the executive one or which personality is this?

12:29 Caller Oh, I don't know. She... she's not really shy but she's not really talking. I can't really explain it. Cat?

12:36 Drew Is she the one...

12:36 Caller We want to know about each other now.

12:38 Drew Is she the one in charge?

12:39 Caller Right now, she is, yeah.

12:41 Drew And what are the other ones?

12:42 Caller The other ones, they are not talking.

12:45 Drew But describe some of them to us.

12:47 Adam Oh, it's Tom and Jerry.

12:48 Caller Well, some are like shy and some are like mean, just like, K everyone.

12:53 Adam Which one got pregnant, the horny one?

12:55 Caller The horny one, yeah.

12:57 Drew Do you have any men in there? Any men?

13:00 Caller No.

13:00 Drew Any?

13:01 Caller Just females as far as I know.

13:03 Drew Everybody heterosexual?

13:04 Caller Um, they're all, they're all, yeah, straight and, no.

13:09 Drew Anybody using drugs?

13:11 Caller Um, no. One of them used to smoke halibut, but we made her stop. I made her stop.

13:16 Adam Oh, you did? Yeah. Well, all right. Hey, Kathy, you know, it's funny, you have, how many personalities altogether?

13:22 Caller Um, doctors never told me how many.

13:24 Adam Well, what do you think?

13:25 Caller They said around, around seven or so.

13:27 Adam Around seven? I have half a personality. Doesn't seem fair, does it?

13:31 Caller No. Yeah.

13:32 Adam Do you feel guilty hogging all the personalities when I'm walking around sort of half cocked there?

13:36 Drew Yeah, well, and you have half a personality.

13:39 Caller Because they can, they make you do things you don't want to do.

13:41 Adam Oh, the personalities?

13:43 Caller Yeah.

13:43 Adam Yeah.

13:43 Drew Isn't that interesting?

13:44 Adam Yeah, it is. And what happened, do you think, that caused you to fraction off in all these different directions?

13:52 Caller That childhood, father left me when I was like really young. My mom was never there for me. I practically raised myself. My personalities had been raising each other.

14:02 Drew But something happened.

14:03 Adam There had to be some good abuse in there somewhere.

14:05 Caller Oh yeah, I've been beaten a lot when I was a kid.

14:08 Drew There you go.

14:09 Caller Abandoned, really young.

14:10 Drew Okay. All right. Well, Kathy, how about adoption?

14:16 Caller I'm afraid because I don't want to lose him. I've been carrying him for so long that I'm afraid to lose him.

14:22 Drew But you're also not capable of doing an adequate job for him.

14:26 Caller This isn't what I wanted to have given to my sister or someone that I know. That way I could still see him.

14:31 Drew Yeah, but they have open adoptions these days. People you can continue to visit, even participate. Yeah, they do.

14:36 Adam I don't know what the hell is that?

14:38 Caller I'm afraid I'll never get him back.

14:40 Adam Well, listen, you won't, but you'll probably be pregnant in six months anyway. We've got to look at it that way.

14:45 Drew Kathy, you've got to think in terms of what's right for the child. If you really have doubts about your capacity and indeed given your history, there's a high probability that something might happen here. Why not get the child what it needs? There's so many parents out there that want kids.

14:59 Caller I'm afraid that because there's so many kids, there's so many kids that are pregnant that they can give their kids. I don't want to give my kids.

15:05 Drew They don't. That's the problem.

15:07 Adam Yeah. Hey, listen. Hey, Kathy. Am I talking to the gatekeeper, the one that's in charge?

15:12 Caller Yeah, pretty much. She's the one in charge.

15:15 Adam Good. Listen, you're going to screw this kid up in a major way. This kid could be better off raised by a family of raccoons than you and your seven personalities. And furthermore, this kid's going to screw you up because you got a lot of work to do. You got to do your therapy. You got to get a job. You got to get on your feet. You have a lot of stuff to do. And this kid's going to hold you back. You're only 20. You got plenty of time. You know, there's modern science has come a long way. They have medications. They have therapies. There's plenty you can do with your life. You do the right thing. You give the child up for adoption and then you move on with your life and later on you get married. You have you have a family. All right.

15:59 Do you have a therapist or a doctor for one and I really don't want to get rid of listen.

16:04 Caller Okay. This is no problem.

16:05 All right.

16:06 Adam Listen to me. We don't have time for this.

16:07 Caller I'm listening. I'm listening.

16:08 Adam I have a lot of problems. Do you have you have a therapist or a doctor?

16:12 Caller I'm going.

16:13 Caller I'm trying to get it into counseling.

16:14 Caller Okay.

16:15 Adam Please get into that counseling and talk to a counselor about it. Ask them what they think about adoption. And when I'm in charge, anyone with more than two personalities, sterilize.

16:29 Drew That's fine.

16:31 Adam Anyone on SSI, by the way, getting it?

16:34 Drew Well, if they want the money.

16:36 Adam Well, that's suggesting they're on it. If you're getting any money from the government, you're also getting birth control. Makes sense. You just don't want people who aren't working and who can't float their own boat as it is having a family because that's going to be more people for you to float. Fine. And you pussies over at the ACLU, or, I don't know, yeah, that's right. You, I'll just start that again a little bit later. You pussies at the ACLU, you can kiss my ass. Please. If you're getting any money, you're getting birth control. Fine. No problem with that. It's real easy. Or don't take the money.

17:22 Easy. Done.

17:25 Caller Jesus Christ.

17:27 Adam We can't tell people who are giving money to what to do anymore.

17:31 Drew Maybe there could be graduated money. There could be subsistence money and then like bonus money. You don't get the bonus if you don't take the birth control.

17:40 Adam I just want to, it's going to be black and white. I don't care what color you are. I don't care what religion you are. I don't care what your parents did you. You put your hand out for money. The first thing that goes in your hand is some birth control. You cannot get pregnant.

17:52 Caller That's it.

17:53 Adam You want to get pregnant, you get off, get off the doll as they say. And why would you, in what universe would you want to have kids while you are on SSI or disability or whatever, welfare, whatever?

18:07 Caller Genevieve?

18:09 Caller Yeah.

18:09 Adam You are 13? What happened?

18:12 Caller Did someone kick you in the nuts?

18:14 Caller No.

18:15 Drew Okay.

18:16 Guest Well, I want to know how I tell this girl that I know and I walk home with her from school and I want to give her oral sex.

18:24 Adam You want to give her oral sex?

18:25 Guest Yeah.

18:27 Adam Well, you are just going to have to blurt it out. I would suggest using the school's PA system. You know the one the principal addresses the students with?

18:36 Guest Yeah.

18:36 Drew Here's the call.

18:37 Adam You want to?

18:37 Guest Yeah.

18:38 Caller It would be like, what's her name?

18:41 Guest Natalie.

18:42 Caller Natalie.

18:44 Adam Drew, you play the part of the coach. You play the part of the principal. Explain it to John, man. It's something to say.

18:52 Drew Students. I don't get to.

18:54 Adam I use my mic.

18:57 Drew Students of Ridgemont High, your freshman class president, Jonathan, has something to say this morning.

19:07 Adam Thank you. Thank you.

19:09 Drew Testing.

19:09 Adam One, two, is this on? Thank you, principal. First thing I like to say is, even though I'm running unopposed this year for somebody president, I still need your vote. Secondly, Natalie, I know you're in homeroom right now, and it may be a little embarrassing, but I'd like to perform oral on you. And Mr. Higgins-Staller's shrub on the way home from school today.

19:36 Drew Oh, my God.

19:36 Adam If that is something that you find acceptable, please pull the nearest fire alarm, and I'll meet you out on the lawn in front of the school.

19:49 I'm also called the Umbrella Guy.

19:51 Guest You are?

19:52 Drew Why is that?

19:53 Guest Because I have a really funny umbrella.

19:55 That's good.

19:56 Adam Oh, well, listen, if there's one thing I know about chicks, when it comes to rain protection, that's an aphrodisiac for them.

20:04 Drew But here's the real comedy of this, is this is how guys think.

20:06 Adam Do you know her?

20:07 Drew But here's the deal, because she lets him walk to school with her...

20:11 Caller Oral.

20:11 Drew There it is.

20:13 Adam Ladies, listen to that.

20:14 Drew That is how the male mind works. Right there, there it is.

20:16 Adam Are you dating her?

20:18 Drew No. You walked her to school.

20:19 Adam What are you talking about?

20:20 Drew Your parents listened to this for crying out loud.

20:22 Adam Do you want to kiss her first, maybe?

20:25 Drew No.

20:25 Adam You want to go right for the oral?

20:27 Guest Yeah.

20:27 Adam All right, Johnna.

20:28 Guest Oh, Adam?

20:29 Adam Yeah.

20:30 Guest You're God.

20:30 Adam Thank you very much. Thank you.

20:32 Guest And Dr. Drew, you're cool. I've gotten, you know...

20:34 Adam All right. She's 13 or something. Jesus Christ. I didn't even know that was, like, in, in, in my...

20:41 Caller It wasn't in my vocabulary.

20:43 Adam It wasn't possible. It really wasn't. I might as well just ask my parents for a dirigible for Christmas. You know, it just wasn't... it was... it fell... it went under the file of... That's for others, not for me. Jack?

21:00 Hello?

21:00 Adam Jack, you're 29.

21:02 Caller Hello?

21:03 Adam Can you hear me, Jack?

21:04 Yes.

21:05 Adam What do you want?

21:06 Listen, I have a problem. I'm attracted to younger boys. And I went to a doctor, a psychologist, and he didn't answer one question which I was curious on. Did he think that this was hardwired? In other words, was he able to change the way I feel? I didn't really care that much about trying to find out what the class of this was if he can't possibly change the way I feel.

21:40 Drew Good question. So you were sexually abused as a child yourself?

21:44 No, I wasn't.

21:45 Drew Oh, Jack.

21:45 Adam Jack, are you wearing one of those dog collars, the big lamp-shaped collars right now or is that just your phone?

21:52 Caller No, I'm not. But I am changing my voice because I'm on National Radio and I'm telling you that I like little boys.

21:58 Drew Oh, Jack, there's got to be some sexual abuse. That's where this comes from.

22:03 Caller Well, we discussed this extensively with my doctor but there really isn't at least one that I can remember.

22:09 Adam Alright, well what's your nationality?

22:12 Caller I'm Italian.

22:15 Adam Oh, wow, that explains it.

22:17 Drew What did you think I was Greek?

22:19 Adam I'm Italian myself. I get a hankering for a little young ass every once in a while.

22:23 I tend to ignore it.

22:25 Caller But it's the Ivy blood.

22:28 Drew Well, it is certainly a biological imprint. Let's put it that way. But it could be changed. I can't say necessarily that it can be changed.

22:39 Adam Alright, well, let me float this theory for you, Jack. I won't put them on hold because the talking through the lampshade drives me nuts. Here's my theory, Drew, and tell me what you think of this because I've been giving it some thought and I've used it in my own life. Let me hawk an oyster up first before I impart this knowledge. There's change that you make in your own mind when you gain knowledge and insight. And then there's sort of change that you almost force on yourself mechanically. For instance, you're a person that shows up late to a lot of things. You just force yourself to show up on time and eventually you become a prompt person. Not because you read a book but because you actually sort of forced the behavior. And once you force the behavior on yourself for a long enough period of time you just become that person. It doesn't matter. Jack can do some work emotionally but what Jack has to do first and foremost is never ever touch a guy. He may look at a guy, he may have thoughts, what have you. He may have the mind of a pedophile but the important thing is he doesn't have the dick of a pedophile or the hand or the mouth of a pedophile. So everybody who is listening you can actually through behavior just start doing stuff or stop doing stuff. Don't pick up the joint, don't pick up the syringe, don't pick up the 9 year old, do pick up your clothes and put them in the hamper.

24:11 Drew This is an argument, this is a sort of controversy that rages on.

24:15 Adam And it's a sort of which came first, the chicken or the egg controversy. But I mean personally I was always like a disorganized slob and I'd look at the coffee mug rolling around in my car that was there from the morning before and I used to ignore it and then I'd have ten minute arguments with myself about the merits of taking the mug back into the house and now I just do it because I just beat myself into it.

24:40 Drew But get back to your attractions. It's a little more difficult.

24:43 Adam I have to hell out of that mug since I got in the house.

24:45 Drew You know what you're saying? You know I'm saying that necessarily that mug would have had to have had breasts for you to be in there and all the lack of all the restriction in the world for you in regards to that.

24:58 Adam Alright well listen I like a nice set of cans but I can go to a strip club get a lap dance and not grab anybody. At least not until the last one. I don't mind being kicked out. But you know what I'm saying? I mean I like a nice set of breasts. I can have a woman come rub in my face and not grab on to them because I'm a member of society and I realize that's not kosher. So what Jack has to do is what I do at the strip club. Thank you. I hope you learned a lesson there Jack. When we come back we'll speak to and keep going to your counselor by the way.

25:30 Caller Absolutely.

25:31 Adam We'll speak to Jennifer whose 14 mom's fiancé gave her oral sex.

25:36 Caller That's a fine housewarming present.

25:40 Adam And she wants to tell her mom.

25:41 Drew Great.

25:42 Adam After this.

25:47 Caller We'll be right back with more.

25:49 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

25:51 Drew This is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Love Line on the Zone 105.

25:55 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

25:56 Drew This is Dr. Drew.

25:57 Adam And you're listening to Love Line on the Zone 105. Hey, I need to hear something out of my headphones there, Anderson. There we go. That's all right. It's only twice.

26:25 Drew Are we on the air now?

26:26 Adam I think we are on the air. Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, and you're over there. Drew, shut that compound down.

26:31 Drew I'm trying to turn it off.

26:32 Where'd it go?

26:33 Adam You are?

26:34 Yeah.

26:34 Adam Okay. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-191. Facts. I'll forget about that fax number. Hey, The Man Show is on, everybody. Turn it over to Comedy Central, shut your radios, and watch The Man Show. Ready?

26:49 Caller Go!

26:50 Adam Thank you. Let's hop back on the phones. Drew, shut the computer. Jennifer is 14. Jennifer?

26:59 Caller Yeah.

26:59 Adam Alright, so your mom's fiance gave you oral sex? Just gave it to you, huh?

27:07 Caller Yeah.

27:07 Adam How long ago?

27:09 Caller About a year and a half ago, maybe. Maybe even two years ago.

27:14 Drew Two years ago? When you were 12?

27:16 Caller Yeah.

27:17 Drew And this was her fiance and is now her husband?

27:20 Caller No. They're just starting to talk about getting married. They've been together for like seven years.

27:27 Adam And what happened now? So you've known this gent since you were seven years old?

27:32 Caller Well, um, yeah.

27:35 Adam Yes.

27:35 Caller Yeah.

27:37 Adam And what happened? He came in your room at night or?

27:41 Caller Yeah, he came in my room when my mom was sleeping.

27:45 Wow.

27:47 Drew You know what?

27:48 Adam Is, is, is anything happened since then?

27:52 Caller Um, no. Well, I mean, he's tried kind of a few times that I've said that I'm trying to sleep.

28:03 Oh, my God.

28:04 Adam So he's, he's attempted to come back in the room on a couple of occasions, but you sort of warded him off.

28:10 Caller Yeah.

28:12 Adam Boy, that is, uh, see now, under my regime, I would have him killed. I would think so. I would consider that horribly flawed and beyond repair and therapy and just put him down. No problems. Let's sleep like a baby. Um, and you've never said anything to your mom? No. And what about your, your biological dad?

28:32 Caller Um, my parents have been divorced since I was in like first grade.

28:36 Drew Could you talk to your dad about this guy?

28:38 Adam Now, I will think about what kind of guy biological dad is when biological mom chose him.

28:43 Caller Um, he's an asshole.

28:44 Drew Yeah, no doubt.

28:45 Adam He's probably more than that.

28:47 Caller Um, yeah, I hate him. Like, he, I mean, we, I see him, but, like, I would rather not.

28:55 Drew Did he sexually abuse you too?

28:57 Caller No, not at all.

28:59 Adam Do you have any brothers or sisters?

29:00 Caller I have a younger sister.

29:03 Adam How, how young?

29:04 Caller Uh, she's ten.

29:07 Adam Okay. Do you suspect anything's ever gone on with her?

29:10 Caller Um, I don't know. It might later.

29:13 Adam Mm, yeah.

29:14 Caller She's pretty innocent.

29:16 Adam Oh, boy. Um, you need to talk to your mom about this in a big way.

29:22 Caller I don't know if I should though, because it's been a long time.

29:26 Adam Doesn't matter. She needs to not marry him in a, in a, in a huge way.

29:32 Drew Huge way.

29:33 Adam Uh, how sane is your mom?

29:35 Caller Mm-hmm.

29:37 Caller I mean, um, I could talk to her, but I don't know what to say.

29:41 Adam How sane is she?

29:43 Caller She's sane.

29:44 Adam Just, just sane. She's sane?

29:45 Caller Oh, yeah.

29:46 Adam She's not screwed up?

29:47 Caller No, not at all.

29:48 Adam Doesn't she have to be a little bit screwed up to welcome this guy into her home?

29:52 Caller Um, I, I don't know. I think she's needy and I, I think she's scared of being alone and so that's why she's.

29:59 Drew Well, you must tell her that he has come into your room at night and touched you in ways that were just wrong. And you, and you are worried about this upcoming marriage and you feel that you have to tell her about it.

30:08 Adam And you're worried for your younger sister as well.

30:11 Drew And if she did not respond to you, you either tell your dad or you call the Department of Social Services yourself.

30:17 Adam Well, dad may be off the list because he's an a-hole but call Social Services.

30:23 Drew An a-hole may be exactly what's needed in the current situation.

30:26 Adam Yeah. Maybe he'll come over with like a tire iron and straighten things out. Hey, Jennifer. Okay. Let me tell you something that's very important. I'm only going to take about 10 seconds, okay? Okay. I'm sorry for what you've been through with your dad and now your stepdad. All guys are not evil and all guys are not your dad and your stepdad.

30:44 Drew You don't need power over all of them.

30:46 Adam Okay. Go to college, go away to college. You don't have to become a lesbian. You don't have to have sex with everyone in your high school.

30:52 Drew Or be a stripper.

30:53 Adam Or be a stripper. Although if it's just in a topless place, we'll talk about that later. All right, Jennifer? All right, remember? Listen, all you screwballs out there who think all men are evil and they're abusive and they're manipulative and all that. Look at my partner over here, Dr. Drew.

31:10 Caller That's Dr. Drew.

31:12 Adam You realize that? He's got a couple of boys. They'll be your age one day and you can date. All right, talk to your mom, please. Okay. Thank you.

31:22 Caller Bye bye.

31:23 Adam Oh, what a guy. Hey, just fill it in for a little oral.

31:28 Caller Let me give it a try every once in a while.

31:30 Drew You wonder.

31:31 Adam He's got to drink because if it's a once in a while kind of thing, he's got to be loaded.

31:37 Drew I don't know if I've ever met the person that does that.

31:39 Adam You know what I mean?

31:40 Drew Who is that person that's out there that does that to their fiance's daughter?

31:45 Adam Yeah, the little oral once in a while.

31:48 Drew Think about that.

31:48 Caller Who is that person?

31:50 Adam When you get drunk though, that's the problem with getting really loaded. Everything seems like a decent idea. I mean, this guy, I'm sure he holds a job down. I'm sure he's not out wielding a machete and getting talked off of roofs and having SWAT teams fire at him. Probably got a job, you know, probably doesn't cause too much trouble. Mom thinks he's a decent enough guy. Then, you know, drinks half a bottle of tequila one night and thinks go down on my 12-year-old stepdaughter. Yeah.

32:19 Drew It's more like she's hot. I bet she's into me.

32:23 Adam Yeah.

32:24 Drew Yeah.

32:24 Adam I'm kind of pissed at mom, but I'll show her.

32:27 Guest Come here and give me a hug.

32:29 Caller Yeah.

32:31 Drew Well, I wish they were all that obvious, you know.

32:34 Guest What can you get?

32:36 Adam Well, at least he performed on her.

32:39 Caller I mean, there is a bright spot.

32:41 Adam Robert? Roberta. Oh, is that Roberta? Sorry. Roberta, you're 15. What's up?

32:47 Caller Yeah.

32:48 Caller Okay.

32:51 Caller I like had to have sex with two guys before. Like last year with my boyfriend and it wouldn't go in.

32:59 Drew Roberta has been since 7.

33:00 Adam Yeah.

33:01 Drew Maybe 6.

33:01 Adam Are you a little person, Roberta?

33:03 Caller No, I'm 15.

33:05 Adam Are you a little person?

33:07 Caller Oh, I'm short.

33:08 Drew You're short?

33:10 Adam Okay. Sounds like she's from Lilliput.

33:13 Drew No, the Musheland.

33:14 Caller Yeah. And then over the weekend I was with this guy that I totally loved and everything and we were like, he's never had sex before and I never have. Like, you know, really. And it wouldn't go on either. And so we stopped.

33:28 Drew Well, good. That's your body telling you it's not ready.

33:31 Adam That's right.

33:32 Caller That's what it is?

33:33 Drew Yeah.

33:33 Adam Pushing that penis out like a splinter.

33:35 Drew And probably an anxiety, probably because of anxiety. There is something called vaginismus. We actually have some health wise articles about that in Dr. drew.com with some links to organizations that give you exercises and things to help overcome that. But when it's anxiety, that's appropriate because you're not ready for this or you've had some trauma in the past that this is reminding you of Roberta, then it's maybe something more of a reaction to how you're feeling.

33:58 Adam If you have it on December 25th, it's called Vagic Christmas, right Drew? Thanks.

34:03 Drew Yeah, day before Vagic Christmas.

34:04 Adam There you go.

34:05 Caller And then the next day on Sunday, I was bleeding.

34:07 Adam When is Vagic Christmas? The 25th? 25th, right? Yeah. Okay.

34:11 Caller Why?

34:12 Adam All through the house. Yes. All righty. Yes, Roberta?

34:15 Caller And then the next day I was bleeding on Sunday.

34:17 Adam You're bleeding?

34:18 Caller I was, and I was over my period.

34:21 Adam You want to know whose blood that is? That's the blood of Christ coming from your vagina. That's what came from his wrists. Shut up! Do you hear me?

34:29 Caller Yeah.

34:30 Adam You understand? He's crying.

34:32 Caller Okay.

34:33 Adam He cries blood, Christ does. I don't know if you know that. And it's because he wants you to remain a virgin.

34:39 Caller Okay.

34:39 Adam He weeps for your hymen. All right?

34:42 Caller Okay.

34:43 Adam I pray for your hymen. All right, so no sex for a little while. Just give it a little more time.

34:49 Caller Okay.

34:49 Adam Another 11 years or so. All right, Roberta? Just a couple years.

34:53 Drew Do you have a hymen?

34:55 Caller Huh?

34:55 Drew Do you have a hymen?

34:56 Caller What is that?

34:58 Drew When you know what that is, that may be when it's time to stop thinking about sex.

35:02 Adam What is that? A woman not knowing she has a hymen, it's like you owning a car and not knowing what the steering wheel is. You know what I mean? I mean, don't you have to know what your goddamn hymen is when you're sexually or at least attempting to be sexually active with a female?

35:22 Drew In certain cultures, if you say, oh, cherry.

35:25 Caller Oh, you say cherry.

35:26 Adam Oh, I see. I see. Roberta, do you have a cherry?

35:29 Caller Yes.

35:30 Adam Okay. Thank you. Are you pre-med?

35:33 Caller Huh?

35:33 Caller Okay. Hold on.

35:35 Adam You can't ask for a better answer than, huh? Biodenarian.

35:39 Guest All right. All right.

35:40 Caller For Christ's sake.

35:44 Adam Okay. Hold on. Listen to me, you idiots. None of you could be dumber than I was when I was in junior high. You just couldn't be. I was the world's worst goddamn student. I was a ceramics major. Do you hear me?

36:00 Guest I never took algebra.

36:03 Drew Never. If you had called a radio show though and had an interaction, listened, responded. Yes.

36:08 Adam I guarantee none of you were dumber than I was in junior high. I would match my academic record against any of you idiots. Never took any of the SATs, never applied for any college, and still haven't got a diploma, ceramics major, failed biology, failed driver's education, driver's education, driver's ed, failed, okay? Was not allowed to take biology, never spoke a foreign language.

36:36 Drew We're impressed.

36:37 Adam I will mark my academic record against any of you idiots. Yet, when I was in the ninth grade, there was a girl named Debbie Hyman, and what did we call her? Buster. Oh, that is right because we knew what a Hyman was. I have no Hyman. I know what a Hyman was in the ninth grade for Christ's sake. Jesus, what is going on? Line one?

37:01 Caller All right. Sean?

37:03 Adam Sean. Yes, you're 15. What's up?

37:06 Guest Well, I got these bumps on my genitals. I'm not sure what it is.

37:11 Drew Are they on the testes?

37:12 Guest I found both.

37:14 Drew Are they sort of white and soft?

37:18 Guest I don't know about soft, but it kind of looks like acne.

37:22 Adam Are you sexually active?

37:24 Guest No.

37:25 Drew Could it be like acne? You can get little sores down there like that.

37:31 Guest It's like, I don't know.

37:33 Drew That's probably what it is. Keep it clean. Don't let it get infected.

37:36 Adam Hey, remember the point I was making?

37:39 Drew Yeah. Oh.

37:41 Adam No. Oh. Is it like? Is it?

37:45 Oh.

37:48 Adam For your acne, is it?

37:49 Drew Oh.

37:51 Adam Okay. One, oh, for yes and two, oh, for no. Are you hungry? Do you want liver?

38:00 Drew Oh.

38:02 Adam Cameron? Cameron. Here, 25. What's up?

38:07 Caller What's up? Yeah, what's up? She wanted me to tell you about this masturbation technique that I made up when I was in junior high school.

38:13 Drew All right, hold on. Who's she?

38:15 Adam Who's she?

38:16 Caller The chick that I just talked to, your operator or whatever.

38:19 Adam Are you on the speaker phone?

38:21 Caller No, I'm on the portable.

38:23 Adam All right.

38:24 Caller I'm in the bathroom now.

38:25 Adam I understand. Hold on a second, Cameron. Okay. I can't wait to hear this. All right? Yeah. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Boy, do we have idiots calling this show tonight. People in their late 20s, in their teens. I mean, it's quite a broad spectrum of idiots that are calling this show tonight. Cavalcade. Somebody call up with some degree of intelligence, please. I beg you. We should have some sort of a hotline for 100 IQ and over that we could put together. Jesus Christ.

38:59 Caller All right.

39:00 Adam Oh, yeah. Where's my farters? Where are my fart on command kids?

39:05 Caller Oh, yeah.

39:06 Adam Those guys talk to those kids. Those are my peeps.

39:08 Guest All right.

39:09 Adam We'll take a break. We'll come back with a Cameron and his masturbatory technique that he's pioneered after this.

39:15 Caller Loveline.

39:17 Guest One in one.

39:18 Caller Back in a minute. Well, it's worth hearing.

39:20 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

39:21 Drew This is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Loveline on the Zone 105.

39:25 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

39:26 Drew This is Dr. Drew.

39:27 Adam And you're listening to Loveline on the Zone 105. It's the Loveline, the man in the Dr. Drew phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Let's just go home and play music.

39:52 Let's play some music.

39:55 Caller Who's going to know?

39:57 Adam We'll just hear the same rip. Who is this, Anderson? Stain? Yeah, I had him on the show.

40:05 Guest Who?

40:06 Adam Stain. They were on the show not too long ago, I don't think.

40:11 Caller Yeah, play that riff again.

40:13 Guest Yeah, get that cure done?

40:14 Caller No.

40:16 Caller Yeah, yeah.

40:18 Adam You guys could take on this for about another hour and 15 minutes, couldn't you? It's a pretty strong riff. Oh, we got someone ready to fart.

40:29 Drew All right, here we go.

40:31 Adam Thank you very much, Tyler.

40:32 Caller Hey, Adam.

40:33 Adam Hey.

40:34 Caller It's been a long time.

40:35 Adam Yeah, I think it was one of my own.

40:37 Caller Yeah.

40:38 Adam My own testicles, that is. Tyler, you can fart on command, right, brother?

40:44 Caller Yeah.

40:46 Drew What made you think of having these guys call you back?

40:48 Adam We gave you the hotline number. I love farting. I love it. I love it.

40:52 Drew What made you think of it, these guys particularly?

40:54 Adam I don't know why somebody, Anderson, brought it up, I think, popped into my head via Anderson's head, and now Tyler's called. Tyler, why have you been ignoring us?

41:04 Caller I haven't. I've been, like, I called a long time. I've been trying to call him, but the phone screeners never let me on.

41:10 Caller What?

41:10 Caller It's qualified.

41:12 Caller What?

41:13 The phone screeners never let me on.

41:14 Adam Oh my God. This is an outrage.

41:18 Caller Over ten times.

41:19 Adam Anderson?

41:20 Drew It was Lisa.

41:22 Adam Lisa did that?

41:23 Caller She was here.

41:23 Drew She was anti-Tyler.

41:24 Adam I told her it was like that.

41:25 Caller They answer the phone, and then they say, like, I can always tell, they ask somebody, and then like, they just say no, and then just hang up.

41:33 Drew Lisa?

41:33 Adam I'll tell you, this show, this is the most amazing organization in the world.

41:40 Caller All right.

41:41 Adam Lisa is very, very lucky she is not here. I'm outraged by this. Idiots. I tell the person to call the goddamn show, and they're doing the screening. How many times did you call and were turned down?

41:56 Caller Probably ten.

41:58 Caller What the hell is going on? I haven't thought.

42:01 Caller You know it.

42:02 Adam Was it really ten times?

42:03 Caller Yeah, it's been like three months, and I've tried like maybe almost ten, like maybe a little less, like eight.

42:10 Adam Anderson says three times?

42:12 Caller Anderson's crazy.

42:13 Adam Well, we know who's Camp Anderson is in. He's in SmackDown in the middle of Lisa's camp.

42:19 Caller Yeah.

42:19 Adam All right, Tyler. Well, thank God you got through this time. This is an outrage.

42:24 Caller All right, here we go.

42:24 Adam Okay. Oh, man, it has been so long, three months since I've heard the crack of your ass.

42:54 Drew Oh, I wish I could describe to people the visual I just got. Basically, Adam, I imagine you are getting on a rollercoaster, just waiting, just waiting.

43:04 Adam Big ass rollercoaster.

43:05 Drew Concentrate, looking straightforward, and then it hits.

43:08 Adam Methane rollercoaster. I am so delighted with gas, and not only don't understand those who aren't delighted with it, but have a disdain for them. I really do. There's a handful of guys out there who don't like farting, and don't trust them. Not for one second. To me, it means the absence of a sense of humor. That's what it means to me. Guys who don't like farting, I'm sorry Anderson, you don't like farting. You're missing a very key component in your personality. You're either missing a sense of humor. Is that you, Tyler?

44:19 Caller Genevieve, that wasn't you, was it?

44:22 Caller That wasn't me.

44:23 Adam What the hell was that?

44:25 Caller Anderson.

44:26 Adam Anderson. That must have been Anderson. Wow, that was awesome. That was wicked. Put that on my outgoing phone machine message there, Anderson. Jesus Christ, who left that?

44:39 Caller Was that real?

44:42 Adam Sound bite. Nice. Hey, Genevieve. Yeah? I know you represent the gals in the powder puff division of the gas competition.

44:51 Drew Power puff in this case.

44:53 Adam Yes, the power puff. You want to work something up for us, too? A little battle of the sexes between you and Tyler? Yeah, you feel good, Genevieve?

45:03 Guest Yeah.

45:03 Adam You want to start?

45:05 Guest Okay.

45:06 Adam Tyler, you ready to answer her?

45:08 Guest All right, here we go. Wait, who's going first?

45:11 Adam You go first, Genevieve.

45:12 Guest Okay. I'll listen to this. Wait a minute.

45:14 Adam Tyler, go.

45:15 Guest All right, here we go.

45:25 Adam Hi, that was solid. Maybe you two should meet and give birth to a super hybrid farting baby. Hi Genevieve. Genevieve sounds genuinely intrigued by Tyler's ass. Genevieve, what do you got for me? Okay, I'll try. All right.

45:58 Caller Wow.

46:01 Adam That is awesome. Hey, Tyler, Genevieve?

46:04 Caller Yeah.

46:05 Adam I'm going to give you guys my cell phone number, too. Okay? Guys, just call me when I'm on the road. Because, you know, LA is hell. There's a lot of traffic. I have a high-stress job. You kids call me up, make a little win, bring a little sunshine into my day.

46:22 Caller Like me.

46:23 Oh, man.

46:24 Adam Genevieve, do you have a man in your life, a boyfriend?

46:28 Caller I'm not really sure right now.

46:29 Adam Oh, I see. He's a little, you know. I'll tell you, any man would be crazy to pass you on. That is amazing.

46:37 Caller I'll tell him that.

46:38 Adam Hey, okay. Let's hear one more from both of you before we move on. You want to start, Tyler?

46:44 Caller All right.

46:44 Adam Here we go. Let's hear the inhale, too.

46:47 Guest Oh, yeah.

46:47 Caller I'll walk you through the process.

46:49 Guest Yeah.

46:49 Adam I want you guys to see if you can work one together.

46:52 Guest Oh, really?

46:53 Adam A lovely duet like peaches and herb.

46:56 Guest All right.

46:56 Caller Well, hold on.

46:57 Adam All right. Hold on.

46:59 Caller Here comes the in.

47:00 Adam All right. Genevieve, go, baby.

47:07 That was all in.

47:09 Guest That was all in?

47:12 Caller That was the app.

47:13 Caller Nice.

47:16 Adam Genevieve, what about you?

47:17 Caller Okay. I'll try again.

47:19 Caller Yeah.

47:19 Adam Ready? Here we go. Wow.

47:25 Caller Nice.

47:27 Adam I'll tell you, there's nothing better. Nothing funnier. There's no comedian that could ever write that funny. Shakespeare isn't that clever. What's that?

47:37 Caller Like, I was like, my friends all know about this, what I've been doing. And like, they all would listen the nights that I would do it. And then it's just, it's sad that I had to like stop calling. Yeah.

47:48 Adam It breaks my heart.

47:48 Caller I called in one time, too, when the cast of that 70s show was on.

47:53 Adam Listen, Genevieve, Tyler, first off, I apologize on behalf of myself, Loveline, the affiliates in your local radio station. Number one. Number two, I am outraged. Outraged that you called the hotline that I gave you and that the phone screeners turned you away because it did not bode with their personal sensibilities. Listen, God is at least a lucky she is not here. I would go sick on her if she was here right now. I apologize and you two, you call back whenever you like. All right? All right. Thank you very much. You take true talent like that and these kids are busy. They don't have time to be calling radio stations and waiting on hold. These are talented artisans. Do you understand? The fact that we put them through the mill that way and then rejected them is a crime. Again, I cannot apologize enough for it and apologize to you, the listeners, for not sharing that with you over the last couple of months. We will say hi to Cameron. Cameron, we teased you on the way out, but then the ass twins called in. We had to move on. Now, we have to move on again, but don't worry. You are going to tell us how you masturbate. You are going to give us this technique you have.

49:18 Caller I made it up when I was like 14 or 15. I don't do it anymore. I figured there might be some kids out there about that age.

49:24 Drew Alright, we will hear about it.

49:25 Adam Alright, Cameron, hang on.

49:27 Caller Alright.

49:27 Adam I know you are out of the bathroom. I want to thank you for that. Alright, we will be back with Cameron and his masturbation technique after this.

49:37 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

49:44 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

49:45 Drew This is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Love Line on the Zone 105.

50:03 Adam It's Loveline, we're going to take a quick ten-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the program in just ten seconds.

50:09 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Sputure.

50:13 Caller Zone 105, KZNR Lakeville, KZNT Cambridge, KZNZ Eden Prairie. This is Zone 105.

50:23 Adam It's Loveline, I'm Adam Lusdrew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Remember, lightning round tonight, kiddies.

50:31 Caller You don't want to stay up for that.

50:34 Adam My buddy Ace Rockolla is going to step into the pilot's chair here, the captain's seat, and get it done, Cameron. You're 25? All right, so you used to do a certain masturbation technique. Yeah. And did it involve you just getting an erection, lying on your belly and rubbing on the bed?

50:56 Caller No.

50:57 Adam No.

50:57 Caller How'd it go?

50:58 It was pretty complicated. I made this up.

51:00 Caller I had to put a lot of thought into it. All right. Got his protractor out. You know those big ziplock freezer bags?

51:10 Adam Yeah.

51:10 Caller All right, take one of those and fill it with hot water, and then seal it, and then fold it in half, and then you wrap all that up in a towel, and then squirt some conditioner in there, and then put it in between your mattresses, and then just lay the mag right on the mattress, and then just go to town on it.

51:36 Adam Jesus Christ, I would have never got a girlfriend if I had figured that thing out.

51:41 Caller Well, I didn't have a girlfriend back then. I was like 14 or 15.

51:44 Adam That is amazing.

51:45 Yeah, it feels like the real deal.

51:47 Adam How long did you use that technique?

51:51 Caller Pretty much all through high school.

51:52 I still use it.

51:53 Adam Once in a while when you get drunk, you take a little whack down memory lane. Do you ever get out the old ziplock bag?

51:59 Yeah, pretty much.

52:01 Adam And when you see a commercial for one of those ziplock bags in a sort of Pavlovian response, does your penis start drooling?

52:11 Caller Maybe, I don't know. Not anymore, I don't have to do it anymore, so I get laid now.

52:15 Adam I understand, but, well.

52:17 Caller I thought that maybe you'd like it because I know you like to masturbate.

52:21 Drew I think Adam's hand would be jealous, I think you'd get uncomfortable, I don't think it would do it for you.

52:26 Adam You're probably right. Yes, hold on, my hand. What's that? Yes? It's all right?

52:31 Caller It's all right?

52:32 Caller It's all right.

52:33 Adam All right, my hand says it's all right. Senior Wences has spoken. All right, Cameron, it's an ingenious technique.

52:42 Caller All right, I just thought you might want to know it.

52:44 Adam I do appreciate that and I think that's nice. Here's the question I have. Did your folks ever find anything pressed between the box spring and the mattress?

52:53 Caller No, they probably noticed that the ziploc bags were going pretty quick.

52:57 Drew Did they ever rupture and make a big mess that you couldn't explain?

53:02 Caller No, because they never checked. It didn't matter.

53:05 Adam No, you never got popped? No one ever walked in on you doing that?

53:08 Caller No, I never got busted.

53:11 Adam It was my sincere wish that you had. All right, Cameron.

53:15 Caller If you want, I can come on to the Man Show and demonstrate how to make one.

53:19 Adam All right, hold on. We'll book you. Kristen.

53:24 Caller Hello.

53:24 Adam You're 21.

53:25 Drew What's up?

53:26 Caller I have a quick question about an acne medication that I've been taking. I guess it's for Dr. Drew. It's not specifically for acne. It's minocycline. Minocycline is an antibiotic and I wanted to know if there are any bad effects if I take it long term.

53:46 Drew No. That's why they have people take that long term. Okay.

53:50 Caller I just asked because I had a girlfriend who was on it and she ended up having all sorts of problems with ovaries and stuff like that and it really freaked me out.

53:58 Drew From minocycline? Minicine.

54:00 Caller Minicycline.

54:01 Drew Did she have problems with her ovaries from minicine?

54:03 Caller They don't know if that's what it was from. But she had been taking it for over two years.

54:07 Drew No, no, no.

54:08 No, no, no.

54:09 Caller So how long can I take it?

54:11 Drew I'm not sure there's a time limitation. In general, dermatologist prescribed that it is four years.

54:17 Caller Okay. There's nothing weird about taking antibiotics for a long time?

54:21 Drew This is designed specifically for that. The only thing I ever worry about, and I brought this up to the dermatologist, is something called Pseudotumor Cerebri that I once saw from Tentrecycling. It's sort of a headache syndrome. And they said it just never happens.

54:35 Adam Yeah. What is it? Is that, you know, I'm 35. I still get zits.

54:40 Drew What is up with them? Tell me about it.

54:42 Adam Yeah. What is that? That's bad luck. Is that what that is?

54:45 Drew Bad genes.

54:45 Adam Actually, I don't really get zits. My problems are all sort of hair related. Ingrown hairs, shaving, rashes, things like that. I rarely get just a sort of basic, everyday zit. But I still get one once in a while. I'll still get one on my back now and again.

55:03 Caller And I keep thinking about it.

55:04 Adam I'm 35. I got gray hair for Christ's sake. Gray hairs and a zit.

55:09 Caller You know what I mean? I'm standing in the mirror.

55:10 Adam I'm looking at myself. I'm going, I got a zit on my shoulder.

55:13 Drew No mercy.

55:13 Adam And I have a gray hair popping out of my head.

55:16 Caller What the hell is that?

55:18 Caller What is that? Jesus Christ.

55:21 Adam I'm kicked and nuts.

55:23 Guest Mental note.

55:25 Caller I got to see him so I can kick him in the nuts for that. Louis?

55:29 Guest Yes.

55:29 Drew You're 18?

55:30 Guest Yes.

55:31 Adam What is up?

55:33 Guest My parents have gone through a separation. Now they're getting a divorce.

55:36 Adam All right.

55:37 Guest My dad had really bad kidney stone problems and he became addicted to the pain and the pleasure they're giving him. Then they started out slow with like Vicodin and then Demerol and then Demerol injections.

55:50 Adam Demerol injections?

55:51 Caller Wow. That's pretty heavy.

55:52 Guest Yes. He was going through like 10 of those a day.

55:55 Caller Wow.

55:56 Adam Yes.

55:56 Drew That's the real thing. That is severe addiction.

55:59 Guest And then he's kind of backed off a little bit but he doesn't want to go to rehab or anything like that.

56:03 Adam Where does he get all the injectable Demerol?

56:08 Drew Different ones?

56:08 Guest Yes. He keeps bouncing back and forth.

56:11 Adam Don't they have a way to meter that?

56:13 Drew No. The pharmacy should but the people can overcome that easily. Why don't you call some of these doctors and alert them to see if they can intervene and get your dad into some treatment because this isn't the kind of thing you can back off of.

56:23 Adam You can't.

56:24 Drew No.

56:24 Guest We've tried that and he just keeps finding new doctors.

56:28 Adam I wonder, like Elvis' doctors?

56:30 Drew Why don't you go to Alan on our Allatee and get some help for yourself? That's about all you can do.

56:37 Guest I've been after this girl for a while and she hasn't really shown any interest in me and she became my best friend and I don't know how to deal with that.

56:45 Drew Oh boy.

56:46 Adam You've got to shoot her up a dimmer hole and hop on her.

56:49 Drew I think he did all that hard work of establishing her.

56:54 Adam It happens all the time. It happens to the worst of us.

56:57 Guest Every time I get in a relationship they compare them to her and it just doesn't work.

57:02 Adam Well stop it.

57:03 Drew She has no idea you're into her that way.

57:04 Guest Yes she does. She does?

57:06 Drew What does she say about that?

57:08 Guest Nothing really.

57:09 Drew She's not into it?

57:10 Adam No. That is a bitch.

57:12 Guest Well she says sometimes like she is and then she says she's not.

57:16 Adam When you get extra needy she says she is. Hey Louis, there's someone out there for you. Maybe more than one.

57:24 Drew But more importantly, take care of yourself right now. You're really looking for refuge in these relationships or leave from the pain of dealing with these parents of yours. It's time to take care of Louis. Go to Al-Anon, go to Alateen, develop some relationships that are more healthy, not romantic, but just people available to help you.

57:41 Adam How much more powerful is injecting demoral than taking in a pill for him?

57:47 Drew I'm not sure you can quantify it that way. You can get a lot more in more quickly and that tends to make it more addictive.

57:52 Adam Yeah.

57:53 Caller So it's...

57:54 Adam kidney stones are pretty painful though, aren't they?

57:57 Caller Yeah.

57:57 Adam I don't blame the guy.

57:58 Drew But that's not what's going on here. Please.

58:00 Caller Okay.

58:01 Carl? Yeah.

58:03 Adam You're 18?

58:04 Caller Yeah.

58:04 What's up?

58:06 Drew But, excuse me, Carl. The kidney stones hurt for a while and that's it.

58:10 Guest All right, Carl. Yeah.

58:11 Caller I'm 18 and I've only been able to have more gouters through wet drinks during my sleep and never through masturbation. In fact, I don't masturbate because of that. I just get irritated so I just stop.

58:23 Adam Okay. Why do you got to kill yourself?

58:26 Caller I don't want to do that.

58:28 Drew Are you on any medication?

58:30 Caller No medication.

58:31 Drew How long have you gone in terms of trying this before you give up generally? In other words, how long have you tried to organize it before you forget it?

58:40 Caller How do I try? How long do you go on? How long? Ten minutes. Ten minutes or fifteen, something like that.

58:45 Adam Yeah. Have you been with a woman?

58:47 Caller No.

58:48 Adam What do you think would happen if you were with a woman? Have to fall asleep on top of her?

58:54 Caller I don't know. I don't know how excited I would get. I probably wouldn't have a problem.

58:58 Adam What's the most you've done with a woman?

59:02 Caller Basically just touching and all that stuff and kissing. That's about it.

59:06 Drew It's really that you have no arousal by yourself though. You have no...

59:10 Caller No.

59:11 Adam You have an erection when you're by yourself though, right?

59:15 Caller Yeah. That's about all I can get.

59:17 Adam And you can't get anything out of yourself?

59:19 Caller No. I get no pleasurable feelings at all.

59:21 Drew Do you want medication?

59:23 Caller No.

59:23 Drew Do you have any medical problems?

59:26 Caller I have gynecomastia but I don't know if that would have anything to do with that.

59:31 Drew You have that not from medication but just from development?

59:35 Caller Yeah.

59:36 Drew Are you overweight?

59:37 Caller Excuse me?

59:38 Drew Are you heavy? Do you weigh a lot?

59:42 Caller Well, I'm 6'5, 230.

59:44 Drew That's about right. The reason I ask that is that adipose tissue, a very high body fat percentage, can result in high levels of estrogen and very suppressed levels of testosterone.

59:58 Adam What are they going to do about your gynecomastia?

1:00:01 Caller I don't really know about that. I went to the doctor about a year and a half ago but I really didn't get into it that much because I was basically going for a checkup.

1:00:13 Adam Let me ask Carl a couple of questions here because I am an expert in this field, Drew.

1:00:18 Caller Which hounderspace?

1:00:21 Adam First off, I don't want to twist the night but I can squeeze one off about a minute and a half. I really could.

1:00:28 Drew You've got the ninja.

1:00:29 Adam Jumping rope.

1:00:30 Drew Don't you?

1:00:30 Adam Jumping rope.

1:00:32 Caller I would love to be able to do that.

1:00:33 Adam That's right.

1:00:35 Drew Or how about when you were the woman?

1:00:36 Adam Watching Hearts of Darkness. I could do it. With a woman? No, with a woman, well either way. I can take a while or I can get one off depending on what's on TV. But Carl, you get an erection and you can maintain the erection okay, right?

1:00:54 Caller Yeah, no problem.

1:00:55 Adam And you start touching yourself and does it feel good to touch yourself?

1:01:01 Caller Actually, yeah, it does.

1:01:02 Adam Okay, and you have any pornography on hand?

1:01:05 Caller I have plenty.

1:01:06 Adam You got plenty?

1:01:07 Caller Yeah.

1:01:08 Adam You put the pornography on, you have movies? And you start touching yourself, you get a little rhythm going. It takes a little while to work a technique out and you've never had that break-in period.

1:01:19 Caller Right, but I just get bored with it.

1:01:21 Adam Yeah, well, that's not an option. You're going to have to get one off because once you get one off, that's it, you're on your way. It's just hard to get that first one off.

1:01:33 Caller I've tried, I've come so far as to, you know, try to set the mood and all this, that, and the other.

1:01:40 Drew Carl, I want to have something going on biologically with you. You really do need to see a doctor by this kind of capacity. At 18, for a 13-year-old to have that, it's not uncommon, but to have it at 18 and then have this sort of decreased arousal business with your sexual response just makes me concerned that there's something biologically going on.

1:01:59 Adam Six-five and brass is not a great combo either, by the way. Once in a while, you see a guy who's got a little of that going, it's not something that the ladies flock to. See a doctor, figure it out. I'd like to come over there and work with the lad.

1:02:17 Drew I really would. Personal trainer.

1:02:18 Adam Yeah.

1:02:19 Drew Corolla training.

1:02:20 Adam Show up with my workout belt on, roll of paper towels on the side, a lotion dispenser, have a universal remote, all the stuff I usually use. Oh boy. That is rough.

1:02:36 Caller Okay.

1:02:37 Adam Josh?

1:02:38 Yeah.

1:02:38 Adam You're 13?

1:02:39 Caller Yeah. I try to masturbate but I can't orgasm.

1:02:43 Adam You're an old fiend night going here.

1:02:46 Guest Is it because I'm too young?

1:02:47 Adam Yes. You're 13.

1:02:49 Caller That's fine.

1:02:50 Drew This will take care of itself. Why are you even trying to masturbate?

1:02:57 Caller I wanted an organ.

1:02:58 Caller Oh, okay.

1:03:00 Adam Wouldn't it be?

1:03:02 Caller Hey, Josh? Yeah?

1:03:03 Adam We appreciate your candor, first off. We really do. That was kind of a no-duck question there, Drew. You wanted something to come out of the speech.

1:03:12 Drew You know, usually there's something driving, like desire, like there's more than just a curiosity.

1:03:17 Adam You got older friends who are masturbating and trying to keep up with?

1:03:21 Drew I guess you're right.

1:03:22 Adam A little peer pressure. All right, Josh, you're fine. You're 13. Okay. All right. You're just weeks away, I predict it. There's a big bucket of semen just around the corner. Okay? Okay.

1:03:36 Caller All right.

1:03:38 Adam I didn't get going until 16. I think I was 16. You believe that?

1:03:44 Drew Well, you've been catching up.

1:03:45 Adam Old maid.

1:03:46 Drew Pretty nice.

1:03:47 Adam Thank you. Thank you very much. Angelina?

1:03:51 Caller Hi.

1:03:51 Adam What's up?

1:03:52 Caller All right.

1:03:53 Adam 20 years old.

1:03:54 Caller Yeah.

1:03:54 Adam Yeah.

1:03:55 Caller When I was younger, I was molested by one of my older brother's friends. I told my brother about that and they got in a fight and they didn't talk anymore. How old were you? I have been having these like flashbacks of things that have happened, but I can't put it together. I was wondering if I went to hypnosis, if it would work and help me get my memory back.

1:04:17 Drew How old were you when this happened?

1:04:18 Caller Nine.

1:04:20 Caller I have this like vision.

1:04:21 Adam You're way up. It's quiet. What did he do to you?

1:04:24 Caller Well, he had spent the night over here. He was sleeping on the floor and I was sleeping on the couch. He just started going down my pants and I just pretended I was sleeping because I was scared and then he just started going up my shirt and then finally I just got up and I cursed him out and like I cursed at him and then I went into the bathroom and started crying and then about a while later I told my brother because I was scared and they got in a fight but I have these like weird...

1:04:51 Adam How old was he?

1:04:53 Caller He was about 16.

1:04:56 Adam Well, going up the shirt of a nine-year-old.

1:04:58 Caller Yeah, going down like...

1:05:00 Adam Well, the down part I understand but the up the shirt of a nine-year-old, that's some kind of strategy there.

1:05:07 Caller I don't know.

1:05:07 Adam You might as well go up your own shirt for Christ's sake. My gosh.

1:05:11 Caller I don't know but I just can't. I mean like but there's other stuff that's happened also and that's just even more complicated but I just don't understand like what these flashbacks are from, you know what I mean? Why?

1:05:22 Drew What do you think you're seeing?

1:05:24 Caller What do I think I'm seeing?

1:05:26 Guest Is that what you are saying?

1:05:27 Adam You're having a flashback, right?

1:05:29 Caller I'm just like somebody else touching me and there's another girl involved in it like younger while we're younger and I can't put it together.

1:05:39 Drew That would fit with you being a victim at nine.

1:05:42 Adam Yeah on the other hand what this guy did wasn't great. You had sort of the right reaction and it doesn't sound like something that would scar you for life.

1:05:54 Caller No.

1:05:54 Adam Bad episode but certainly by Loveline standards we've heard a lot worse.

1:05:59 Caller Oh I know but.

1:06:01 Adam Maybe though there was some history of this before that, neighbors, something like that. God knows what the family unit is like. Not great I'm guessing.

1:06:13 Caller Well like actually I only lived with my mother and my father and my uncles, two of my uncles died a long time ago when I was younger. So I never really knew anybody else. My mom kind of kept me with her.

1:06:27 Adam Well listen, Angela, Angelina.

1:06:29 Caller Angelina.

1:06:30 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who cares? Now listen to me. It's all one big number for me. I wouldn't go crazy exploring this thing. I'm not a big fan of this. You know this, I got to get into hypnotherapy.

1:06:45 Caller Oh no.

1:06:45 Adam Sword everything out.

1:06:46 Caller No, no, no.

1:06:47 Adam In a way, it's sort of gimmickry when you know what it is, here's what it is. I'll give one of my analogies and this one's not going to involve a car either. Shocked. Therapy is a long process and it takes some work. There's no free lunch in it. Right. Once in a while, people try to sort of sidestep that process. You read Dianetics, sure, there's a volcano going off on the cover of this book, Elrond Humber is a genius, and it's going to solve all my problems in the subway, on the way to work when I read this book. Right. It magically doesn't work. Here's the analogy. Once in a while, you open a magazine and it has some electrode thing that you strap your belly, it's equivalent to doing 1,500 sit-ups. Then you think to yourself, that's great. Because while I'm watching TV and snacking, I can be doing 1,500 sit-ups. But you know what? It doesn't work. It doesn't because you're not sweating. And the only way to get washboard abs is for you to sweat a little bit. And it's the same with this hypnotherapy or these books or self-help tapes or whatever, as opposed to therapy. You got to get in there and you got to pay the fiddler a little bit. Otherwise, it will not work by definition.

1:07:57 Drew That's true. Basically, your brain will let you have conscious of what they can deal with.

1:08:02 Adam Yeah. You don't be hypnotized and pull anything out you want.

1:08:05 Drew So what?

1:08:06 Adam Yeah. The guy will tell you, you're Napoleon. You'll believe him. And then you'll start getting into those great past life regressions.

1:08:11 Drew Well, no, but even if you could remember accurately what had happened. So what? What would that do for you? Just so all the feelings that have to go along with that need to be sorted through very carefully.

1:08:19 Adam That's right. And then it turns out you'll be nobility, though, if you get into the past life. John?

1:08:25 Caller Yeah.

1:08:25 Adam You're 18.

1:08:26 Caller Yeah.

1:08:27 Drew Plain and I was nobility.

1:08:28 Adam Man, I'm nobility. Yes, I would say...

1:08:30 Drew I'm a military commander.

1:08:31 Adam I was a great, powerful king who led warriors into battle. Yeah. I'm not... I wasn't a guy who mopped up at the vomitorium and died on the crapper. Nope. I was leading my troops into battle.

1:08:45 Drew And by the way, if we really were going to be people that lived in ancient times, most of us would have died by the age of five.

1:08:51 Adam Oh, that's true. What about those past life regressions where you were just dying at birth?

1:08:56 Drew Did you get those?

1:08:58 Adam All right, Drew, we're going to start eating popcorn on the end.

1:09:00 Guest All right.

1:09:01 Adam John?

1:09:02 Guest Yes?

1:09:02 Adam All right.

1:09:02 Caller Sorry about it.

1:09:03 Adam You're eighteen.

1:09:05 Guest Yes.

1:09:05 Adam You thought you were bisexual, but not sure?

1:09:09 Caller Yeah.

1:09:10 Adam You had sex with a guy?

1:09:11 Guest Yes.

1:09:12 Adam How was it?

1:09:13 Guest It was all right for the first time, but then after it was, I thought, You had sex with a girl before? Yes.

1:09:22 Drew How did you like that?

1:09:23 Guest That was good.

1:09:25 Drew Why such confusion?

1:09:26 Guest I don't know. I believe I was molested when I was little.

1:09:33 Caller That would be why.

1:09:35 Guest I was molested by two little boys. I was around three or four.

1:09:39 Caller Wow.

1:09:40 Drew Other kids did it too?

1:09:41 Guest Yes.

1:09:41 Drew Little kids?

1:09:43 Guest Oh, boy.

1:09:43 Adam That could be something. Doesn't have to be everything, though. Better kids than adults.

1:09:49 Drew Can you just chalk this up to experience now and go on and be a little clearer about your orientation? Are you still just as confused as before you had done this?

1:09:56 Guest Yes, I am.

1:09:57 Drew You're just as confused. Surprise, surprise. Maybe more confused now.

1:10:00 Adam Well, you didn't like the guys that much, did you?

1:10:03 Guest It was all right.

1:10:04 Drew This was confusing.

1:10:05 Adam How's the behemoth? Is it still intact?

1:10:09 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:10:11 Adam He's behind him and that was all shot to hell?

1:10:13 Guest Yeah.

1:10:14 Adam Yeah, good man. I don't make you gay. You're giving it to him.

1:10:19 Drew How about a little therapy to try to deal with those traumas?

1:10:24 Guest I was trying to get some therapy, but it's not working.

1:10:27 Caller Well, it takes a long time. He didn't even get in.

1:10:30 Caller He was just thinking about it.

1:10:31 Guest I was thinking about it.

1:10:33 Adam Well, it's not working.

1:10:34 Guest I don't have a good relationship right here with my parents. I don't talk to my dad that much.

1:10:38 Caller I'm surprised.

1:10:39 Adam Hey, John.

1:10:40 Guest Yes.

1:10:40 Adam Here's what you need to do. As you know, I'm a genius, right? Otherwise, I couldn't host a radio show. I couldn't be on radio if I wasn't a genius.

1:10:48 Guest Whatever.

1:10:49 Adam There's very stringent rules FCC lays out. So here's what it is. You've done a little experimenting and all it's done is serve to make you more confused. So just hang back a little bit. Don't question yourself so much. Don't try to figure everything out. Go on some walks, read some books, do a few pushups.

1:11:07 Drew Do you have a relationship? Something you really care about?

1:11:09 Adam Give a little counseling.

1:11:11 Guest I'm trying to get with some girl that I really want to get with.

1:11:14 Adam Okay.

1:11:15 Drew That's good.

1:11:15 Adam Don't give her the story about you sodomizing your body though. That freaks chicks out.

1:11:20 Drew A little bit.

1:11:21 Adam It really does. It's great. I had a girlfriend, a couple of girlfriends back and she told me about an experience she had with another woman once and I said, Yeah, my buddy Ray nailed him in the ass just one time.

1:11:41 Caller And she was like, Huh?

1:11:42 Adam I said, Yeah, we had a couple of beers and we were at a party and he got out of the pool.

1:11:48 Caller He was looking pretty good. He was a well built guy. We were in the back of the little tiki room back there and weather changed and first we just started kissing, you know, the tongues and stuff.

1:11:58 Guest And she was like, Oh, oh, oh.

1:12:01 Caller And I started massaging his testicles. And she was like, Oh my God, no, stop it.

1:12:06 Adam And I was like, Baby, you were with a girl once. And you know, it wasn't your bag, but it's nothing that wasn't that big a deal.

1:12:15 Caller You know, it's nothing, you're pretty open about it.

1:12:17 Adam And I don't mind hearing it. It kind of turns me on a little bit.

1:12:20 Caller And I'm just telling you, my friend, right, this one time, she was like, Oh, no. Oh my God, that's what I picture you doing. I was like, yeah, he's in me for a little while. She was like, Oh no, no.

1:12:38 Adam And that's how women react. So don't tell him. Yeah. Actually, I said it was my buddy, Mark Drotman, who's about 300 pounds. Even better.

1:12:52 Guest Even better.

1:12:53 Adam Big, hairy Jewish guy.

1:12:55 Guest Yeah, it was great.

1:12:56 Adam And every time I started getting into it, she was like, Oh man, she was just repulsed by it.

1:13:01 Guest She was just wretch.

1:13:02 Adam She was just wretch. Yeah. And it's funny because when she told me about her experience, and we're into it, my hand was like going down my pants. And we're, you know, in line at a movie, you know, it's like, yeah, it was totally, it's a totally different experience. All right, guys, so keep it to yourself and we'll be back after this.

1:13:26 Drew This is Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Love Line on the Zone 105.

1:13:31 Adam This is Adam Corolla, and this is Dr. Drew. And you're listening to Love Line on the Zone 105.

1:13:49 Drew Drew's favorite band.

1:13:51 Adam Hey, it is Loveline. Adam, that is Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-191. And let's hop back on the phones again. Lightning round coming up in just a few breaks, everyone.

1:14:07 Caller You'll want to stand by for that.

1:14:08 Adam Jami?

1:14:09 Caller Yes.

1:14:10 Adam You're 23 years old?

1:14:11 Caller Yes.

1:14:12 Guest Hi, how are you doing?

1:14:15 Caller Well, you begged someone with some type of intelligence to call, so you got your wish.

1:14:19 Caller All right.

1:14:20 Caller I have a medical question for the doctor.

1:14:22 Drew What's up?

1:14:24 Caller My friend has a urinary tract infection.

1:14:26 Drew Right.

1:14:27 Caller And my question is, what causes that feeling of having to go to the bathroom every 5 or 10 minutes?

1:14:33 Drew It's inflammation of the urethra.

1:14:35 Caller Oh, okay.

1:14:36 Drew I was just wondering. The outflow tract is irritated, inflamed, and it makes a feeling of a sense of urgency coming.

1:14:43 Caller Okay.

1:14:44 Drew So, here you go.

1:14:45 Caller Thank you for your question.

1:14:47 Drew All right, Tami. Bacteria all through there where they don't belong.

1:14:49 Caller Huh?

1:14:50 Drew Bacteria all through that part of your urogenital tract where they don't belong.

1:14:54 Adam Right. All right, Tami. Thank you.

1:14:56 Caller Thank you much.

1:14:57 Adam I think I could pee at just about anytime. You know?

1:15:00 Drew No.

1:15:01 Adam What do you mean? I think I can urinate just about whenever.

1:15:03 Drew Will you have to pee or not pee?

1:15:04 Adam Yeah.

1:15:05 Drew And produce something.

1:15:06 Adam And produce something. Yeah. We were talking on the Man Show about the Wheel of Destiny bit. It will be in this upcoming new season. You spin a big wheel, the guy gets up there. Could get wheelbarrow full of porn or you could get wear Adam's underpants on your head for the rest of the show. You know, a lot of good stuff, a lot of bad stuff. We're trying to think of some bad stuff for the next installment of the Wheel of Destiny. And I said, how about Adam pees on your wallet? Sounds good, very solid. Take your wallet out and urinate on it.

1:15:38 Drew Right there in front of everybody.

1:15:39 Adam Well, you know, we make a little booth, you know, for a little urinal up. We toss the wallet in there and I just give it a hose down. And Jimmy said, can you pee on demand? I said, I'm peeing right now. I'm going to pee whenever I want.

1:15:54 Drew Jimmy is just not in command of his bodily function, is he?

1:15:58 Adam Listen, I don't want to say anything bad about him because he listened to the show. But let me tell you, during the writers meeting the other day, farted 35 times. I completely dominated the room.

1:16:07 Drew Oh, you did?

1:16:08 Adam That was me. Torty ass. I was really, I was so impressed with myself. It was amazing. Mark? Yeah. Year 21. What's up?

1:16:18 Caller Okay. I got a problem.

1:16:19 Adam My girlfriend seems to be allergic to my semen.

1:16:22 Drew What do you mean?

1:16:23 Adam Well, she got on the pill and every time we have sex without a condom, she gets severe pain and it seems to get red. Her vulva area is all red wherever it has gotten on her.

1:16:42 Caller I don't necessarily like to wear a condom since she's on the pill, but we don't have a condom.

1:16:47 Drew If you wear a condom, there's no problem.

1:16:48 Adam Yeah, there's no problem. What if she goes down on you and gets some in her mouth? She doesn't like to do that, but she did try tasting it and it didn't seem to be a problem like that.

1:16:59 Drew So it's hard to understand how that could be allergy then. Yeah.

1:17:02 Adam Yeah, well, you see, because we have this allergic to semen, allergic to semen allergy, but when you get some of it in your mouth, wouldn't you have quite a reaction to it? Yeah. Let's take an example of, Drew, I think it's sort of like a weed or some sort of plant life and then you touch it to your skin, you get a reaction to it. If you ate that, would you be pretty after that?

1:17:27 Drew Not necessarily, but if you reacted to something in your mouth, you should react in the vagina or the anus, same surface basically.

1:17:33 Adam Really? I think I got more anus surface in my mouth than mouth surface. Could that be possible?

1:17:38 Drew Anus surface in your mouth?

1:17:39 Guest Yeah.

1:17:41 Drew Think about that. No, thanks.

1:17:42 Guest Okay.

1:17:43 Adam So anyway, Mark, it's possible. We have heard of it. I'm always a little skeptical.

1:17:49 Drew I suspect there's something else going on. Like just some other sort of inflammation or infection of the vagina that when something irritating it touches it, it gets worse. That's what I'm thinking.

1:18:02 Adam Yeah because how often does this really happen, you think? Real rare. And don't you think people are much more apt? I mean like I heard some study once that said like 80% of the people claim they're allergic to chocolate and aren't actually allergic to chocolate.

1:18:16 Drew Oh, absolutely.

1:18:17 Adam So people claim they're allergic to a lot more stuff than they actually are.

1:18:20 Drew Oh, yes.

1:18:21 Adam What is up with that? I hate those people. I'm allergic to nothing, just work. That's the only thing I have a reaction to. Catherine?

1:18:30 Caller Yeah?

1:18:30 Adam You're 18 years old? What's up?

1:18:34 Caller Oh my God. What is it? So my mom, she's like in jail right now. And it's because of a long story, but anyways, she's like a drug addict. And she was totally, I mean, she got basically busted doing crack and she was into heroin and cocaine and everything like that.

1:18:52 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:18:54 Drew Who's mom isn't?

1:18:55 Caller And, um...

1:18:57 Adam I remember when my mom went to the heroin mess crack fest.

1:19:00 Caller That's good. So anyways, I hadn't talked to her for like a year and she called me the other day and I was totally excited to talk to her and everything. And she tells me, she's like, okay, sit down. I'm like, okay, I'm sitting. And she like tells me that she like has like married a woman, but I obviously can't marry one right now because of that law or whatever, but I'm sure they're like seriously going out or something like that.

1:19:20 Adam Well, they're seeing each other.

1:19:21 Drew But hold on here. Why hasn't she contacted you in a year?

1:19:24 Caller Well, she's been in jail and I was living with my dad and he's like Persian, so there's no more explanation needed.

1:19:31 Drew So he was sort of abusive to her when they were together physically?

1:19:34 Caller To who?

1:19:35 Drew Was he abusive to her when they were together?

1:19:36 Caller Oh, not at all.

1:19:37 Adam Huh. Well, what's your dad being Persian have to do with that stuff?

1:19:40 Drew What do you mean?

1:19:41 Caller Well, he's just very strict and he's just very religious. And it's like I didn't have any contact with anybody who obviously would have done anything like that would get them put in jail.

1:19:50 Drew How did she get to you then? Now, excuse me? How did she get hold of you?

1:19:54 Caller I was out.

1:19:55 Drew I see.

1:19:56 Adam And your mom called you when she was out of prison?

1:20:01 Caller No, she's in prison right now.

1:20:02 Adam I know. But Drew said, why didn't she talk to you for a year? And you said she was in prison.

1:20:07 Caller No, because, yeah, she's in prison also.

1:20:09 Adam I know. But she called you from prison. Yeah. Okay. So why didn't...

1:20:15 Caller Because my dad wouldn't let me accept her.

1:20:16 Adam Well, then say that, please.

1:20:19 Caller Jesus Christ.

1:20:21 Adam Okay. So your mom called you from prison to tell you she was a lesbian?

1:20:25 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:20:27 Adam That's nice.

1:20:28 Drew We need some Hallmark cards on this one.

1:20:29 Adam Hey, could you, Anne, to take some golf clubs and bake them into a cake?

1:20:39 Caller I don't know if I'm comfortable with it.

1:20:40 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. Listen, if I were you, Catherine, I'd hire a drifter to kill my mom. I'm thinking about doing that to my mom. All right.

1:20:49 Drew But are we thinking that this is just because she was abused and she's an addict and has a little vision? Or is it just that she's been living there with women all the time?

1:20:57 Adam Listen, Catherine, listen to me. I'm your new mommy and Drew's your second mommy. Do you hear me now? You have no mommy anymore. It is very sad. I'm very sad for what I have to do. I really am. And I hate to have to give this advice out. And I give it out more than I'd like. But here's the bottom line. Your mom is screwed up. And she may never be right. And the more you need her, want her, love her, and want her to be right, the more pain and disappointment is going to come in your life. You sound like a pretty intelligent, self-sufficient young lady. And you don't sound nearly as whacked out as you should be considering where you're from. So here's what you have to do now. You need to focus on your own ass. If mom somehow finds Jesus Christ and dumps her lesbian lover and cleans up with the drugs, then maybe you can talk one day.

1:21:58 Drew The lesbian part is no big deal. It's just part of a chaos and confusion.

1:22:05 Adam One more head trip to land her poor daughter who's already had enough to deal with. So here's the deal, Katherine. You have no mom. You're on your own. You've got your whole life ahead of you. It can be exciting. It can be full of challenges. Just take it on and get on with it. Okay.

1:22:25 Drew All right?

1:22:27 Adam Use your friends. You have friends?

1:22:29 Drew Yeah.

1:22:29 Adam Good.

1:22:30 Caller It's fine.

1:22:31 Adam Listen, that's the way I felt. I moved out of the house. I was 19. I didn't like my parents. I didn't have anything to do with them. They didn't give me anything. I had a whole bunch of good friends and that was my family. We peed and farted on each other.

1:22:43 Drew We lived in New York City over the gang.

1:22:45 Caller It was wonderful.

1:22:46 Adam Yeah.

1:22:46 I wish I had a gang to join.

1:22:48 Caller Cody?

1:22:50 Yeah.

1:22:51 Adam You're 22. What's up? Yeah.

1:22:53 Caller I got a question for Drew.

1:22:54 Drew Yeah.

1:22:55 Caller Yeah. I got in a little trouble today at work. I got put on a four-day suspension for starting a fight. I wonder if there's any kind of pill that can suppress anger like that or make me a little more calm.

1:23:07 Drew There it is. You first need...

1:23:10 Caller Well, do you do drugs or alcohol?

1:23:11 Caller No.

1:23:12 Drew First, you need...

1:23:13 Caller What?

1:23:14 Caller I drank a little bit on the weekend since I turned 21, just at bars and stuff.

1:23:19 Drew You need an evaluation by psychiatrist so they can try to figure out what the diagnostic situation is with you that's causing some of these anger outbursts. There are medications that can help control impulsivity, decrease irritability, and maybe even stabilize your mood. So at least...

1:23:36 Adam Really?

1:23:36 Drew Well, some people are getting the fights because they're irritable and depressed.

1:23:39 Adam So I had to put that right in the drinking water supply.

1:23:42 Drew Drugs like Prozac can help with impulsivity, and some of the mood stabilizers can help to put you to lay-backs.

1:23:46 Adam I'm going to dump that right in the reservoir. It's a part of my regime.

1:23:51 Drew But it needs to be evaluated by somebody.

1:23:54 Adam All right. We're going to take a little break. I'm going to go evaluate the toilet.

1:23:59 Drew Evaluate it?

1:23:59 Adam That's right. See if it's fit for my whiz. What are we going to talk to when we come back? We got the lightning round when we come back.

1:24:07 Drew Oh, yeah. We're going to take it to whoever.

1:24:09 Adam Oh, that is very solid. All right. Get a strap in. The lightning round is coming at you when we come back.

1:24:18 Drew Love Line, Love Line, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:24:21 Caller We'll be right back with reports of Noah.

1:24:24 Adam This is Adam Carolla.

1:24:25 Caller This is Dr. Drew.

1:24:26 Drew Stay tuned for more Love Line on The Zone.

1:24:28 Adam This is Adam Carolla.

1:24:29 Drew And this is Dr. Drew.

1:24:30 Adam And you're listening to Love Line on The Zone 105. Thursday through Sunday, 10 o'clock to midnight. Let's just check the time real fast. It's 1144 in 15 seconds. That is 15 minutes and 45 seconds away from the time of the hour.

1:25:32 Caller Straight up. I'm Ace Rockolla.

1:25:36 Adam And he is hot, hot, hot.

1:25:39 Caller Let's hop back on the phone.

1:25:40 Caller Let's try this.

1:25:41 Adam Nice speaking to Jason. Jason is 18 years old.

1:25:45 Caller Jason, what's happening, bud?

1:25:47 Guest Hey, what's happening, guys?

1:25:48 Caller Hey, what's up, sucker?

1:25:53 Caller Yeah. Hey, what's up, sucker?

1:26:00 Guest Okay. First of all, you guys rock. You guys are like totally awesome. Well, my question is, I like to get high on, on marijuana. Oh, yeah.

1:26:12 Adam I'm hearing that, brother. Okay.

1:26:14 Guest And well, when I'm high, I like to masturbate. This man sounds like he's living a life. Because like when you're stoned and you're-

1:26:29 Caller You tell me you take a nap when you're done and I'm going to explode.

1:26:33 Guest Yeah, it like intensifies the pain.

1:26:34 Adam That's right. Yes, it does. Thank you for that insight. Let's check the time. It's 11.45 in 30 seconds. That's 14 minutes. 30 seconds away. The way of adopting the outer straight up.

1:26:45 Caller How many is Rockolla in my body?

1:26:47 Adam He's smack dab in the middle of the line.

1:26:50 Caller You're on Loveline.

1:26:51 Adam Let's hop back on the phones again, Drew Burn. Somebody's called. See if we can help out. What's his brand?

1:26:57 Caller I don't know.

1:26:57 Drew He'd ask you.

1:26:59 Adam Jason? Yeah. Yeah, so you get a little high and you have at yourself.

1:27:03 Caller And then what, buddy?

1:27:05 Guest Well, I was just wondering if that would like damage anything, if it makes you sterile.

1:27:09 Caller No, it does not.

1:27:10 Adam Thank you for getting back to that.

1:27:12 Drew But the marijuana will lower your sperm.

1:27:15 Adam Yeah, nothing wrong with a little lowered sperm, I'll tell you. You know what I call a lowered sperm? That's when I whack off out of the second-door window. It's lowered all right. Male man takes a bird, got it. It's 1146. It's 1146. 1146, and no, 1146 in 20 seconds. That's 13 minutes, 40 seconds away, if not, yeah, straight up. It's like, Ace Rockolla, that's my good-bye to Dr. Drew. It's me and the gene, the mean gene, the common machine, 29 years old.

1:27:46 Caller Yes, my question is for Dr. Drew.

1:27:48 Caller Uh-huh, go ahead.

1:27:50 Caller Is the tabloid safe?

1:27:51 Drew Uh-huh, I know of any, don't know of any serious consequences, but it's not good for you.

1:27:58 Caller You big gal, dude.

1:27:59 Drew It has a stimulant property to it.

1:28:01 Adam What's you're sporting around the gut there, Jeannie?

1:28:03 Caller I'm 50 pounds overweight.

1:28:05 Adam 50 pounds overweight.

1:28:06 Drew Get a dietitian, get a regular exercise program, much better.

1:28:10 Guest Too many of that stuff.

1:28:12 Caller That's the one that says that Adam Corolla's new commercial that was out today where he went flying over a wall was funny as hell.

1:28:21 Caller Hot, hot, hot.

1:28:21 Adam Am I right, baby?

1:28:22 Caller Why?

1:28:23 Adam That's right. One take a roll. They call me and they don't tell me that I have to get that one back. Let's check the time. It's 11.47 in 20 seconds. 12 minutes, 46 seconds. Wave it down to the hour.

1:28:33 Caller Straight up.

1:28:34 Drew The witch in hour.

1:28:36 Caller 12 midnight.

1:28:36 Adam I'm Ace Rockolla.

1:28:37 Caller That's my partner, Dr. Drew.

1:28:38 Adam You're smack in the middle of the middle of the night. Let's hop back on the phone. Let's not forget where our bread is buttered. We'll speak to old Johnny. Johnny, 29 years old. Girlfriend's daughter has started flirting with the John Starr. What's that?

1:28:55 Caller What's up, buddy?

1:28:56 Adam Girlfriend's daughter has started flirting with you?

1:28:58 Caller You bet. Hey, one thing.

1:29:00 Caller I want to compliment you on your social uncandor. You know, black people in the face with the truth, they don't know how to act. Yeah.

1:29:07 Adam Basically, they're on their legs. Thank you, Johnny.

1:29:09 Caller Okay. This is what's up. I've been together with this chick about 8, 10 years, right? I watched her daughter grow up. Yeah. And she's grown very nicely.

1:29:20 Caller How old is she? That doesn't mean she's a bad guy.

1:29:22 Drew How old is she? She's thirteen.

1:29:25 Caller She's developed breasts.

1:29:26 Caller What girl doesn't?

1:29:27 Adam She's a nice piece of ass.

1:29:28 Caller Is she?

1:29:29 Caller Yeah.

1:29:30 Guest It's sweet.

1:29:31 Caller But you know, I'm with her momma so that voice that. What she does is she kind of peaks at me. She rubs her breast against me. She models clothes that are kind of, you know, flawny kind of. And you're only flesh and blood, right John? Yeah.

1:29:47 Caller Flesh, blood and a hole, right buddy?

1:29:49 Caller Yeah.

1:29:50 Caller Look, she's trying to.

1:29:51 Caller Maybe it might not work out.

1:29:53 Drew John, oh my God.

1:29:54 Caller Hey, Johnny, how old is your old lady? She's 30. 30 years old. Very nice woman.

1:29:59 Adam Got herself a nice 13 year old.

1:30:01 Caller She walked off the end of the earth for me.

1:30:02 Drew This guy's an asshole, no doubt.

1:30:04 Adam That's right. Hopefully land on a better planet when the two are not.

1:30:08 Guest Think about that buddy.

1:30:13 Caller He's been a girl for nine years.

1:30:15 Guest He has a child that's nine years old.

1:30:20 Drew Let's check the time.

1:30:21 Adam It's 1149 and 15 seconds. That is ten minutes and 45 seconds. Waving the top of the hour straight up. The witch in hour 12 looks like she's right there.

1:30:30 Drew I mean, she's right there. You have to figure out who they are as they become.

1:30:36 Adam Well, she's strutting around the apartment like some kind of a cheap French hooker. What's the man supposed to do there, ain't there?

1:30:44 Drew She's a little disturbed and she's sort of trying to grapple with this.

1:30:47 Adam Well, look at it this way.

1:30:48 Drew You have to set boundaries. Really, she's starting on the road to real trouble if you let that happen.

1:30:53 Adam John, put it this way. You were her father figure her entire life. Think about what kind of shape you'd be in if you were your father figure your entire life. Prove to that by just hop back on the phone and speak to Carol. Carol's 20 years old. Brown the phone. Carol, what's going on there, man?

1:31:06 Caller You're an absolute nut, Drew.

1:31:08 Caller I don't know how you put up with them in times like this.

1:31:09 Adam Carol, hold on. Let's check the time. It's 1150 straight up.

1:31:13 Guest That's 10 minutes away from the end of the hour.

1:31:14 Adam What's your question?

1:31:18 Caller Two questions.

1:31:19 Caller I want about 150 milligrams of Dr. Cyclo and Anubias today, and I'm just curious. I'm on Depo. I'm curious if that affects it in any way.

1:31:26 Drew It would affect the normal contraceptive pill, the birth control pill. I don't know if it affects Depo, I'll tell you the truth.

1:31:32 Adam She's on the Depo.

1:31:34 Drew I will check that out, okay? She's gone.

1:31:37 Adam Well, that was quick. All right, let's check the time. That's a good enough time. Whenever we get a break, I like to check the time. It's 11.50 in 35 seconds. That is nine minutes and 25 seconds away from the top of the hour straight up. Let's hop back on the flows. We've got Gantz over there on line five. Grant Granthorpe will ever stop me. 14 years old, we're going to hop back.

1:32:00 Caller Wait a minute. Let's check the time again.

1:32:01 Adam It's 11.50 and now 55 seconds. That's nine minutes and five seconds away from the top of the hour straight up. Light it around. Dr. Drew and Loveline. Grant.

1:32:13 Caller Yeah.

1:32:13 Adam You're 14 years old. What's going on there, brother?

1:32:15 Caller Yeah. My mom, she's a stripper and just recently got an offer to get in a porn video.

1:32:22 Adam All right. You're going to get that new Nintendo if it kills you, right?

1:32:25 Caller Right, partner.

1:32:27 Caller No. We're kind of Catholics.

1:32:30 Adam Right.

1:32:30 Caller We're Christians and Catholics. I'm just going to go to a school.

1:32:34 Drew You and your mom are Catholics?

1:32:36 Caller Yeah.

1:32:36 Caller Hey, partner.

1:32:37 Adam Partner, let me ask you a question here, hypothetically. I don't know. I know they have Christian rock. They have Christian porn.

1:32:43 Caller I don't know.

1:32:44 Drew Christian strip.

1:32:45 Adam Christian strip.

1:32:46 Caller I'll write that down, Drew.

1:32:48 Adam I'm going to put some money in.

1:32:50 Guest What's going on?

1:32:51 Adam So, she's Carolyn Grigory. Do you think about doing a...

1:32:56 Guest Yeah, whatever.

1:32:59 Adam And why do you know about this, Byron?

1:33:01 Caller Because she's asking me advice for it.

1:33:02 Caller Oh, my God.

1:33:04 Caller And so, she just wants to know, because there's going to be sex in the video, she wants to know if it's a form of prostitution, because she's kind of worried about that, and if anyone finds out, you know.

1:33:15 Drew Why doesn't she talk to her clergy about it? That's not appropriate.

1:33:18 Adam You talk, that's between her and her five gods.

1:33:21 Caller You understand?

1:33:22 Guest All right, buddy. Don't, I'm sorry, mommy, Looney is a tuned brother.

1:33:27 Adam Don't let it ruin you, buddy.

1:33:29 Caller Is daddy around?

1:33:31 Guest Dad?

1:33:31 Adam Where's dad?

1:33:33 Guest He's in Denver.

1:33:36 Adam Okay.

1:33:37 Caller Grand, you talk to clergy about that.

1:33:38 Adam He loves Dr. Mott and is a man of the cloth, and I'm a man of the cloth too. You know what I'm saying, Drew? I like to spread it out in my belly. That is a man of the cloth. It's 1152 and 40 seconds. It's 1152 and 40 seconds to wave the dot to the hour. It's 10 seconds to have the middle. I'm Ace Rockolla.

1:33:58 Caller That is my partner, Dr. Drew. Where do you want to go, Drew?

1:34:04 Drew You're talking about Closs, Joe?

1:34:07 Adam Joe is an 18-year-old girlfriend. Wiped herself with a rag full of semen. That's love. Who wants to know if she's pregnant now?

1:34:17 Drew When did this happen?

1:34:19 Caller About a week ago.

1:34:21 Adam Now, was this a free semen soaked rag that comes in one of those new dispenser bags? No. It wasn't. It was just something you got to do.

1:34:30 Drew That's where you mix the semen with the bag.

1:34:32 Adam I understand. I usually wipe myself with a cat and leave a tube stock for the gals. I guess chivalry is dead, huh buddy? All right, buddy. She's not pregnant. Don't you worry about it.

1:34:41 Caller She could be, but nothing to do about it now.

1:34:42 Adam That's all right. She didn't twist it up into a form of like a phallus and put it up in her, did she buddy?

1:34:49 Caller No, I'm not.

1:34:49 Adam All right, buddy.

1:34:50 Caller She ain't no pregnant.

1:34:52 Caller Okay.

1:34:52 Adam You know you got a whip when she eats that, right? All right, buddy. All right, buddy. That is how bad of a woman that is. It's 11, 11, 1153 and 55.

1:35:06 Drew Six minutes and five, six minutes and five seconds.

1:35:08 Adam Waved out the hour straight off my ears where I go, that's my good buddy, my buddy, Dr. Drew. Wait a minute. Is that about it for the lightning round? That's about it.

1:35:15 Caller Well, another lightning round.

1:35:17 Adam Put the bet. I'm going to thank Miller General Draft for coming in here and sponsoring the lightning round. Remember, any time from the other time.

1:35:25 Drew We're going to take a quick break.

1:35:26 Adam We'll be right back with the rest of the show right after this.

1:35:29 Drew We about to get funky, yo.

1:35:32 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:35:35 Caller Oh, we'll be right back.

1:35:37 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

1:35:39 Drew This is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Love Live on the Zone 105.

1:35:42 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

1:35:44 Drew This is Dr. Drew.

1:35:45 Adam And you're listening to Loveline episode 105. Well, there he is, everybody. Another fantastic show.

1:36:05 Drew Great lighting, Ron.

1:36:06 Adam I want to thank my partner, Dr. Drew, for doing a wonderful job tonight, of course, and of course, Ace Rockolla for sliding in here and taking over during the lighting.

1:36:13 Drew Here's a fact, Adam. Did you have a huge afro in the 70s with a pick sticking out of it?

1:36:17 Adam No, not a pick. It was a broken off penis. Now, my dad had the pick with the black fist on it, the black fist pick. Oh, sure. He was a brother. I had a medium size fro in the later 70s, early 80s. Nothing long. Maybe about a year or so. But my dad really had the fro.

1:36:39 Guest How you doing?

1:36:40 Drew Look at your hair.

1:36:41 Adam Clear tint glasses, pants that laced up in the front and back. I still didn't get an ounce of tail. So let that be a lesson to you. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:52 Guest Good night.

1:36:53 Guest Ha ha.

1:36:54 Adam Well now.

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Wednesday, March 22, 2000