Episode 1000754887474

3:49 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

4:00 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

4:02 Voiceover Loveline.

4:04 Adam Addiction medicine specialist. Drew, do a little bit of talking.

4:07 Drew All right, while you swallow that burrito?

4:09 Adam Yeah.

4:11 Drew But don't, you know, do you have to regale us with all those noises? Can't you hold the mic a few feet away from that? Yeah, there we go. Again, the phone number. LOVE, A1800, LOVE191.

4:21 Adam You can't do better than a goddamn phone number.

4:22 Drew Hang on a second. I want to get into it. The facts in which we never... oh, thank you. That's good. The facts which we never really get is 310-854-4455. And when Adam is done with burritos, you can put him on now. He's done with burrito. There you are.

4:36 Adam There we go. All right, we're ready to party. No guests tonight.

4:39 Drew Right.

4:40 Adam And I don't know if this is good or bad or how this sounds, but I'm never happier than when we don't have a guest. Yeah. Not that I have anything against guests. To me, I work and it's embarrassing to speak this way. It really is.

4:57 Drew Just those two words together, as it applies to you, I couldn't quite handle it. I work. I work.

5:02 Adam I live for things not happening. Like as a kid, when I showed up at school, if we had a substitute teacher, I just couldn't have been happier. And when there's no guest on this show, I feel like I don't have to do my job as much. And then I feel better.

5:20 Drew Yeah, that's good. I'm glad to make you happy.

5:23 Adam All right, so we're going to find some love tonight. And the lightning round. I may start the lightning round about ten minutes and just have it go through the entire show. But I guarantee the lightning round will strike tonight, everybody. So we're going to burn through some calls and have a good old Adam and Drew time tonight.

5:39 Chris?

5:41 Adam Chris? You're 15, what's up?

5:44 Caller I was wondering why guys had nipples. Because you know, we don't use them. And by the way, you guys are so awesome.

5:49 Adam Thank you. It's uh...

5:51 Drew We think any less of us, we can't figure out the answer.

5:54 Adam No, we know what the answer is. We talked about this. Because when you're born, you're born a woman. Or when you're conceived.

6:01 Drew Oh yeah.

6:01 Adam So you start down the woman path.

6:03 Drew Absolutely. I thought he was asking why in some sort of cosmic sense there.

6:08 Adam Oh, well somewhere around 12 or 13, you make that jump to man. No. We're all in the womb.

6:17 Drew In embryological development, we all start female.

6:19 Caller For how long?

6:23 Drew I don't know how many weeks in. It's pretty quick that you start to differentiate though. And the things that would have become ovaries start to evolve into testes and start to move around. And there's actually a nipple line. There's a whole line of nipples just like a dog has.

6:35 Adam I prefer a pig.

6:36 Drew And those are pig has, a dolphin. And they are resorb except for the two that... Some people end up with more.

6:42 Adam Right.

6:42 Drew Some of them have supernumerary nipples. And men get them just like women. And I don't know, it's just part of remnant development. All right.

6:48 Adam We're fine though, right?

6:49 Drew We're fine.

6:49 Adam Hey, listen. I like my nipples getting a little worked over. I know you find that repugnant and that you retch when you hear me say that.

6:58 Drew It's not just me. It's the sensibility of our listeners.

7:01 Adam Ladies, mark it on your calendars. I like a little nipple work.

7:06 Drew Where is the David Allen Grier Vomit at?

7:11 Adam I think most guys enjoy a little nipple work. Am I right, fellas?

7:14 Drew Is that in response to why we have nipples?

7:17 Adam Well, I mean, women have... There is a sort of sexual counterpart to all the parts that most women have, right? Or that women have.

7:26 Drew Yeah.

7:26 Adam I mean, they have the clitoris. We have the clopinus. Right? I mean, we have our own thing. They have their thing. Their nipples are an erogenous zone. Ours probably aren't quite as sensitive. But I can tell you, I enjoy good nippling. Nipple-nippling? Yeah. I mean, men have some sensitivity there, right? I mean, if women are 100%, you know, men are 40, 60, whatever.

7:51 Yikes.

7:52 Adam Yeah. I like it.

7:55 Danielle?

7:56 Adam Yeah. Now you know. Next commercial break. I want a little nippling.

8:01 Mark?

8:04 Mark!

8:05 Adam Mark, you're 25.

8:06 Caller Yeah. What's up? Well, I'm a heavy pot smoker, and I'm wondering if that'll mess up my other medication. I'm on propranolol, because when I was 17, I had a stroke.

8:17 Drew You had a stroke?

8:18 Caller Yeah. Are you sure of that? Yeah, pretty sure.

8:22 Drew How did that manifest?

8:23 Caller How did it what?

8:24 Drew Manifest.

8:25 Adam What happened?

8:26 Caller Well, what happened was, I was smoking a lot of weed and doing some crystal meth back then. And I would wake up in the morning, and I wouldn't be able to feel my leg. And pretty soon, like, I wouldn't be able to feel half my body, half my tongue, whatnot. And I'd be thrown up, and they would take me to the hospital.

8:44 Adam Well, as long as you learn your lesson, that's the important part.

8:49 Drew So that was the speed, right?

8:50 Caller Yeah.

8:51 Adam Is that a stroke? Did they tell you? You had a stroke?

8:54 Caller Yeah, they said it was a stroke, and they tried some tablet under my tongue. They didn't work for a while, so they gave me the propranol, and it seemed to...

9:02 Drew Was this because your blood pressure was so high?

9:04 Caller I think so, yeah.

9:05 Drew Yeah, okay. Well, that's the speed. And you didn't tell them you were on speed, of course.

9:09 Caller No.

9:10 Drew Yeah, it's not... You should have told me you were on speed, okay? You got to talk to your doctors about this.

9:16 Adam Well, why is that on speed anymore?

9:17 Drew Because, well, first of all, he's doing other drugs. And secondly, the cause of the stroke may not have been the blood pressure. The blood pressure may have been a response to what he induced here, and the treatment he's getting may not be quite right. It may be more of a migrant-type phenomenon he had, actually.

9:31 Adam Well, what do you do for...

9:32 Caller Why would I have a migraine after the effects of being numb and stuff wore off?

9:36 Drew You got a migraine then?

9:37 Caller Yeah.

9:38 Drew Yeah, so this whole thing may have been migraine, and so maybe that's why they put in Inderol to block future migraine-type phenomena.

9:44 Adam What do you do for a living, Mark?

9:46 Caller I work at All American Pond Pond Shop.

9:48 Adam You work at a pond shop?

9:50 Caller Yeah.

9:50 Adam Let me ask you a question about these pond shops, because I don't get it. I don't know the prices of guitars or barbecue equipment or jewelry, but I do know the prices of tools.

10:00 Caller Right.

10:00 Adam I know how much every tool costs. Once in a while, I'll go into a pond shop because I'll see a reciprocating saw or a circular saw or a worm drive saw in the window, and I'll think, hey, maybe I'll go get a good deal on some tools. The tool that cost $135 at the Home Depot with a three-year warranty in the box, UA holds $129 for, and it's been rolling around the bed of a guy's F-Ford 150. We lived in Oregon for six years.

10:32 Caller How long ago did you see it on sale at the store before you saw it?

10:36 Adam I have been in many pond shops many times, and the prices of tools are about 3% cheaper than brand new.

10:44 Drew Did you hear what he was saying?

10:45 Caller Right, right. But that's the starting point.

10:46 Adam See, they decay.

10:47 Caller You can go into a pond shop and wheel a deal.

10:49 Adam You got a deal.

10:50 Caller You can talk it down. Yeah, definitely.

10:51 Adam So you got to keep... So when you go into a pond shop, you just keep talking.

10:54 Caller Oh, yeah.

10:55 Drew It's like a rug dealer or something.

10:56 Adam It's hard to imagine that they... It's hard to talk when they start that high. You're too pissed. I mean, what I'm saying is, is, is...

11:04 Drew Maybe that's a good advantage on you. They bring you in so pissed off that they work you a little bit.

11:08 Adam If your car is 45 grand new and there's a beat up old version of your car that's falling apart and the guy wants $44,000 for it...

11:17 Drew You're pissed.

11:18 Where do you even begin?

11:20 Adam That's my point.

11:21 Drew That's why they want you bewildered. They want you off balance. They got you.

11:24 Adam Man, that is... God, that's got to be Donna the Dead in there at a pond shop. You know, guys coming in there, hawking their grandpa's violin so they can get a hit of smack.

11:35 Drew Mark's got to talk to his doctors about this.

11:37 Adam Kathy?

11:38 John Adams Yeah?

11:38 Adam You're 20.

11:39 Drew Big monkey on his back.

11:40 Caller What's up?

11:41 John Adams I'm 20 and I'm pregnant, eight months, and I really don't know how to take care of the kid and the father's gone. I don't have any... The only financial support I'm on is SSI because I'm mentally disabled, kind of.

11:58 Adam From what?

11:58 John Adams I've got multiple personalities and schizophrenia.

12:01 Adam Can't one of them work?

12:02 John Adams Huh?

12:03 Adam No.

12:03 Oh yeah, they may work.

12:05 Adam You could work at a video store though, couldn't you? Isn't that... Don't they hire this sort of emotionally disabled there?

12:12 John Adams I can work, but I'm pregnant, so they won't hire me.

12:14 Adam Oh, I see.

12:15 John Adams They don't have to know that I messed up.

12:17 Adam Well, which personality is pregnant, all of them?

12:20 John Adams All of them, yeah, because it's my body, so...

12:22 Adam Oh, oh, you're right.

12:23 Drew Who's talking to us now?

12:23 Adam I wasn't thinking.

12:24 John Adams Cat's talking.

12:25 Drew Cat is?

12:26 Adam Cat?

12:26 Drew Is this the executive one, or which personality is this?

12:29 Oh, I don't know.

12:33 John Adams She's not really shy, but she's not really talking. I can't really explain it.

12:36 Adam Cat?

12:36 John Adams Is she the one to know about each other now?

12:38 Drew Is she the one in charge?

12:39 John Adams Right now, she is, yeah. All right.

12:41 Drew And what are the other ones?

12:42 John Adams The other ones, they are not talking.

12:45 Drew But describe some of them to us.

12:47 Adam Well, there's Tom and Cheri.

12:48 John Adams Well, some are like shy and some are like mean, just like Kate, everyone.

12:53 Adam Which one got pregnant, the horny one?

12:55 John Adams The horny one, yeah.

12:57 Drew Do you have any men in there?

12:59 John Adams Huh?

12:59 Drew Any men?

13:00 John Adams No. Any female, as far as I know.

13:03 Drew Everybody heterosexual?

13:04 John Adams Um, girl, straight and no.

13:09 Drew Anybody using drugs?

13:11 John Adams Um, no. One of them used to smoke halibut, but we made her stop.

13:16 Adam Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh, all right. Hey, Kathy, you know, it's funny, you have how many personalities all together?

13:22 John Adams Uh, doctors never told me how many.

13:24 Adam Well, what do you think?

13:25 John Adams They said around, uh, around seven or seven.

13:27 Adam Around seven? I have half a personality. Doesn't seem fair, does it?

13:31 John Adams No.

13:31 Adam Yeah. You feel guilty hogging all the personalities when I'm walking around sort of half-cocked there?

13:38 Drew And you have a personality?

13:39 John Adams Because they can, they make you do things you don't want to do.

13:41 Adam Oh, the personalities?

13:43 John Adams Yeah.

13:43 Drew Isn't that interesting?

13:44 Adam Yeah, it is. And what happened, do you think, that caused you to fraction off in all these different directions?

13:52 John Adams My childhood, father left me when I was like really young, my mom was never there for me. I practically raised myself. My personalities had been raising each other.

14:02 Drew But something happened.

14:03 Adam There had to be some good abuse in there somewhere.

14:06 John Adams Oh yeah, I've been beat a lot when I was a kid. I was abandoned really young.

14:10 Drew Okay, alright. Well Kathy, how about adoption?

14:16 John Adams I'm afraid because I don't want to lose him. I've been carrying him for so long that I'm afraid to lose him.

14:22 Drew But you're also not capable of doing an adequate job for him.

14:26 John Adams This is what I wanted to have given to my sister, or someone that I know, that way I could still see him.

14:31 Drew Yeah, but they have open adoptions these days, people you can continue to visit, even participate in. Yeah, they do.

14:37 Adam What the hell is that?

14:38 John Adams I'm afraid I'll never get him back.

14:40 Adam Well, listen, you won't, but you'll probably be pregnant in six months anyway. We've got to look at it that way.

14:46 Drew You've got to think in terms of what's right for the child. If you really have doubts about your capacity, and indeed given your history, there's a high probability that something might happen here. Why not get the child what it needs? There's so many parents out there that want kids.

14:59 John Adams I'm afraid that because there's so many kids, there's so many kids that are pregnant that they can give their kids.

15:05 Drew They don't. That's the problem.

15:07 Adam Hey, listen. Hey, Kathy. Am I talking to the gatekeeper, the one who's in charge?

15:12 Yeah. Pretty much.

15:13 John Adams She's the one who's in charge.

15:15 Adam Good. Listen, you're going to screw this kid up in a major way. This kid be better off raised by a family of raccoons than you and your seven personalities. Furthermore, this kid's going to screw you up because you got a lot of work to do. You got to do your therapy. You got to get a job. You got to get on your feet. You have a lot of stuff to do. This kid's going to hold you back. You're only 20. You got plenty of time. Modern science has come a long way. They have medications. They have therapies. There's plenty you can do with your life. You do the right thing. You give the child up for adoption, and then you move on with your life. Later on, you get married, you have a family. Do you have a therapist or a doctor?

16:02 Caller I really don't want to get involved.

16:03 Adam Listen.

16:05 Caller This isn't a problem.

16:06 Adam Listen to me. We don't have time for this.

16:07 John Adams I'm listening.

16:08 Adam I have a lot of problems. Do you have a therapist or a doctor?

16:13 John Adams I'm trying to get it into counseling.

16:15 Adam Please get into that counseling and talk to a counselor about it. Ask them what they think about adoption. When I'm in charge, anyone with more than two personalities, sterilize. That's fine. Anyone on SSI, by the way, getting it?

16:34 Drew Well, if they want the money.

16:37 Adam I'm suggesting they're on it. If you're getting any money from the government, you're also getting birth control. Makes sense. You just don't want people who aren't working and who can't float their own boat as it is having a family because that's going to be more people for you to float. Fine. And you pussies over at the ACLU...

17:06 Drew Yeah, that's right.

17:07 Adam I'll just start that again a little later. You pussies at the ACLU can kiss my ass. Please. If you're getting any money, you're getting birth control. Fine. No problem with that. It's real easy. Or don't take the money.

17:22 Caller Easy. Done.

17:25 Adam Jesus Christ. We can't tell people who are giving money to what to do anymore.

17:31 Drew Maybe it could be graduated money. There could be subsistence money and then bonus money. You don't get the bonus if you don't take the birth control.

17:40 Adam I just want to... It's going to be black and white. I don't care what color you are. I don't care what religion you are. I don't care what your parents did to you. You put your hand out for money. The first thing that goes in your hand is some birth control. You cannot get pregnant. That's it. You want to get pregnant?

17:55 Caller You get off.

17:56 Adam Get off the dole, as they say. And why would you... In what universe would you want to have kids while you're on SSI or disability or whatever, welfare, whatever?

18:09 Yeah.

18:09 Adam You're 13? What happens? Someone kicking the nuts?

18:14 Caller No.

18:14 Drew Okay.

18:16 Caller Well, I want to know how I tell this girl that I know and I walk home with her from school. Then I want to give her oral.

18:24 Adam You want to give her oral sex?

18:25 Caller Yeah.

18:27 Adam Well, you're just going to have to blurt it out. I would suggest using the school's PA system. You know, the one the principal addresses the students with? Yeah.

18:36 Drew Here's the call.

18:37 Adam You want to? It would be like, what's her name? Natalie.

18:42 Caller Natalie.

18:44 Adam Drew, you play the part of the coach. You play the part of the principal. Explain it to John, man. It's something to say.

18:52 Drew Students. I don't get to.

18:54 Adam Use my mic.

18:57 Drew Students of Ridgemont High, your freshman class president, Jonathan, has something to say this morning.

19:07 Adam Thank you. Thank you. Testing. One, two, is this on? Thank you, principal. First thing I'd like to say is even though I'm running unimposed this year for somebody president, I still need your vote. Secondly, Natalie, I know you're in homeroom right now, and it may be a little embarrassing, but I'd like to perform aural on you, and Mr. Higgins-Staller shrub on the way home from school today.

19:36 Oh, my God.

19:36 Adam If that is something that you find acceptable, please pull the nearest fire alarm, and I'll meet you out on the lawn in front of the school.

19:49 I'm also called the umbrella guy.

19:51 Adam You are?

19:52 Drew Why is that?

19:53 Caller Because I have a really funny umbrella.

19:55 Drew That's good.

19:56 Adam Oh, well, listen, if there's one thing I know about chicks, when it comes to rain protection, that's an aphrodisiac for them.

20:04 Drew Here's the real comedy in this. This is how guys think.

20:06 Adam Do you know her?

20:07 But here's the deal.

20:08 Drew Because she lets him walk to school with her...

20:11 Adam Aural.

20:11 Drew There it is.

20:12 Adam That's right. Ladies, listen to that.

20:14 Drew That is how the male mind works. Right there. There it is.

20:16 Adam Are you dating her?

20:18 Drew No.

20:18 Adam He walked to the school.

20:20 Drew Parents listen to this for crying out loud.

20:22 Adam Do you want to kiss her first?

20:24 Drew No.

20:25 Adam You want to go right for the aural?

20:27 Caller Yeah.

20:27 Adam All right, John.

20:28 Caller Oh, Adam?

20:29 Adam Yeah.

20:30 Caller You're God.

20:30 Adam Thank you very much. Thank you.

20:32 Caller And Dr. Drew, you're cool. I've gotten, you know...

20:34 Adam All right.

20:36 Drew She's 13.

20:37 Caller She wants to perform.

20:38 Adam Jesus Christ. I didn't even know that was in my...

20:42 Drew It wasn't in my vocabulary.

20:43 Adam It wasn't possible. It really wasn't. I might as well just ask my parents for a dirigible for Christmas. You know, it just wasn't... It fell... It went under the file of... That's for others, not for me. Jack?

21:00 Caller Hello?

21:00 Adam Jack, you're 29.

21:02 Caller Hello?

21:03 Adam Can you hear me, Jack?

21:04 Caller Yes.

21:05 Adam What do you want?

21:06 Caller Listen, I have a problem. I'm attracted to younger boys.

21:14 Adam Who is it?

21:15 Caller I went to a doctor, a psychologist, and he didn't answer one question, which I was curious on. In fact, did he think that this was hardwired? In other words, was he able to change the way I feel? I didn't really care that much about trying to find out what the cost of this was if he can't also change the way I feel.

21:40 Drew That's a good question. So you were sexually abused as a child yourself?

21:44 Caller No, no, I wasn't.

21:45 Drew Oh, Jack.

21:45 Adam Jack, are you wearing one of those dog collars, the big lamp-shaped collars right now, or is that just your phone?

21:52 Caller No, I'm not, but I am changing my voice because I'm on national radio and I'm telling you that I like, you know, a little voice.

21:58 Adam Oh, I understand.

21:59 Drew But Jack, there's got to be some sexual abuse. That's where this comes from.

22:03 Caller Well, we discussed this extensively with my doctor, but there really isn't the least bit I can remember.

22:09 Adam All right. Well, what's your nationality?

22:12 Caller I'm Italian.

22:15 Adam Well, that explains it.

22:18 Drew I just think I was Greek.

22:19 Adam I'm Italian myself. I get a hankering for a little young ass every once in a while.

22:23 I couldn't ignore it.

22:25 Adam But it's the Ivy blood.

22:28 Drew Well, it is certainly a biological imprint, let's put it that way. But it could be changed. I can't say necessarily that it can be changed.

22:40 Adam Well, let me float this theory for you, Jack. We'll put them on hold because the lampshade drives me nuts. Here's my theory, Drew. Tell me what you think of this because I've been giving it some thought and I've used it in my own life. Let me hock an oyster up first before I impart this knowledge. There's change that you make in your own mind when you gain knowledge and insight. Then there's change that you almost force on yourself mechanically. For instance, you're a person that shows up late to a lot of things. You just force yourself to show up on time and eventually you become a prompt person. Not because you read a book, but because you actually sort of forced the behavior. Once you force the behavior on yourself, for a long enough period of time you just become that person. It doesn't matter. Jack can do some work emotionally, but what Jack has to do first and foremost is never ever touch a guy. He may look at a guy, he may have thoughts, what have you. He may have the mind of a pedophile, but the important thing is he doesn't have the dick of a pedophile or the hand or the mouth of a pedophile. So everybody who is listening, you can actually through behavior just start doing stuff or stop doing stuff. Don't pick up the joint, don't pick up the syringe, don't pick up the nine year old, do pick up your clothes and put them in the hamper.

24:11 Drew This is an argument, this is a sort of controversy that rages on.

24:15 Adam And it's a sort of which came first, the chicken or the egg controversy. But I mean personally I was always like a disorganized slob and I'd look at the coffee mug rolling around in my car that was there from the morning before and I used to ignore it. And then I'd have ten minute arguments with myself about the merits of taking the mug back into the house and now I just do it because I just beat myself into it.

24:40 Drew But get back to your attractions. It's a little more difficult.

24:43 Adam I have to hell out of that mug since I got in the house. Is that what you're saying?

24:46 Drew No, I'm saying that necessarily that mug would have had to have had breasts for you to be in there and out of all the lack of all the restriction in the world for you in regards to that.

24:58 Adam Alright well listen I like a nice set of cans but I can go to a strip club, get a lap dance and not grab anybody. At least not until the last one. I don't mind being kicked out but you know what I'm saying? I mean I like a nice set of breasts. I can have a woman come rub in my face and not grab on to them because I'm a member of society and I realize that's not kosher. So what Jack has to do is what I do at the strip club.

25:24 Drew Thank you.

25:25 Adam I hope you learned a lesson there Jack. When we come back we'll speak to and keep going to your counselor by the way.

25:30 Drew Absolutely.

25:31 Adam We'll speak to Jennifer whose 14 mom's fiancé gave her oral sex. That's a fine house warming present and she wants to tell her mom. Right after this.

25:47 Caller We'll be right back with more.

25:49 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

25:51 Drew And this is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Love Line on The Zone 105.

25:55 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

25:56 Drew And this is Dr. Drew.

25:57 Adam And you're listening to Love Line on The Zone 105. Hey, I need to hear something out of my headphones there, Anderson.

26:18 Caller Yeah.

26:21 Adam And there we go. That's all right. It's only twice in a row.

26:25 Drew Are we on the air now? I think we are on the air.

26:28 Adam Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, and I'm going to draw over there. Drew, shut that-

26:31 Drew I'm trying to turn it on.

26:32 Adam It's a word-a-god. You are? Yeah. Okay. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Facts. I'll forget about that fax number. Hey, The Man Show is on, everybody. Turn it over to Comedy Central, shut your radios, and watch The Man Show. Ready? Go!

26:50 Caller All right.

26:51 Adam Thank you. Let's hop back on the phones. Drew, shut the computer. Jennifer is fourteen. Jennifer?

26:59 John Adams Yeah.

26:59 Adam All right. So your mom's fiance gave you oral sex? Just gave it to you, huh?

27:07 John Adams Yeah.

27:07 Adam How long ago?

27:09 John Adams About a year and a half ago, maybe. Or maybe even two years ago.

27:14 Drew Two years ago? When you were twelve?

27:16 John Adams Yeah.

27:17 Drew And this was her fiance and is now her husband?

27:20 John Adams No. They're just starting to talk about getting married. They've been together for like seven years.

27:27 Adam And what happened now? So you've known this gent since you were seven years old?

27:32 John Adams Well, um, yeah.

27:35 Adam Yes.

27:35 John Adams Yeah.

27:37 Adam And what happened? He came in your room at night?

27:41 John Adams Yeah, he came in my room when my mom was sleeping.

27:45 Wow.

27:47 Drew You know what?

27:48 Adam Is, is, is anything happened since then?

27:52 John Adams Um, no. Well, I mean, he's tried kind of a few times that I've said that I'm trying to sleep.

28:03 Oh, my God.

28:04 Adam So he's, he's attempted to come back in the room on a couple of occasions, but you sort of warded him off.

28:10 John Adams Yeah.

28:12 Adam Boy, that is, uh, see now, under my regime, I would have him killed. I would consider that horribly flawed and beyond repair and therapy and just put him down. No problems. He has to sleep like a baby. Um, and you've never said anything to your mom? No. And what about your, your biological dad?

28:32 John Adams Um, my parents have been divorced since I was in, like, first grade.

28:36 Drew Could you talk to your dad about this guy?

28:38 Adam Now, I, well, think about what kind of guy biological dad is when biological mom chose him.

28:43 John Adams Um, he's an asshole.

28:44 Drew Yeah, no doubt.

28:45 Adam He's probably more than that.

28:47 John Adams Um, yeah, I hate him. Like, he, I mean, we, I see him, but, like, I would rather not.

28:55 Drew Did he sexually abuse you, too?

28:57 John Adams No, not at all.

28:59 Adam Do you have any brothers or sisters?

29:00 John Adams I have a younger sister.

29:01 Adam Oh, how, how young?

29:04 John Adams Uh, she's ten.

29:07 Adam Okay. Do you suspect anything's ever gone on with her?

29:10 John Adams Um, I don't know. It might later.

29:13 Adam Yeah.

29:14 John Adams She's pretty innocent.

29:16 Adam Oh, boy. Um, you need to talk to your mom about this in a big way.

29:22 John Adams I don't know if I should, though, because it's been a long time.

29:26 Adam Doesn't matter. She needs to not marry him. In a, in a, in a huge way.

29:32 Drew Huge way.

29:33 Adam Uh, how sane is your mom?

29:36 Caller Mm-hmm.

29:37 John Adams I mean, um, I could talk to her, but I don't know what to say.

29:41 Adam How sane is she?

29:43 Caller She's sane.

29:44 Adam Just, just sane?

29:45 John Adams Oh, yeah.

29:46 Adam She's not screwed up?

29:47 John Adams No, not at all.

29:48 Adam Doesn't she have to be a little bit screwed up to, be with this guy? This guy into her home?

29:52 John Adams Um, I, I don't know. I think she's needy, and I, I think she's scared of being alone, and so that's why she's-

29:59 Drew Well, you must tell her that he has come into your room at night and touched you in ways that were just wrong. And you, and you are worried about this upcoming marriage, and you feel that you have to tell her about it.

30:08 Adam And you're worried for your younger sister as well.

30:11 Drew Yep. And if she did not respond to you, you either tell your dad or you call Department of Social Services yourself.

30:17 Adam Well, dad may be off the list because he's an a-hole, but call Social Services.

30:23 Drew But an a-hole may be exactly what's needed in the current situation. Yeah.

30:27 Adam Maybe he'll come over with like a tire iron and straighten things out. Hey, Jennifer? Let me tell you something that's very important. I'm only going to take about 10 seconds, okay? Okay. I'm sorry for what you've been through with your dad and now your stepdad. All guys are not evil, and all guys are not your dad and your stepdad.

30:44 Drew You don't need power over all of them.

30:46 Adam Okay. Go to college, go away to college. You don't have to become a lesbian. You don't have to have sex with everyone in your high school.

30:52 Drew Or be a stripper.

30:53 Adam Or be a stripper. Although if it's just in a topless place, we'll talk about that later. All right, Jennifer? All right. Remember? Listen, all you screwballs out there who think all men are evil, and they're abusive, and they're manipulative, and all that. Look at my partner over here, Dr. Drew. That's Dr. Drew. You realize that? He's got a couple of boys. They'll be your age one day and you can date. All right. Talk to your mom, please. Okay. Thank you.

31:22 Caller Bye-bye.

31:24 Adam What a guy. Just fill it in for a little oral.

31:28 Caller Let me give it a try every once in a while.

31:30 Drew You wonder...

31:31 Adam He's got to drink. If it's a once in a while kind of thing, he's got to be loaded.

31:37 Drew I don't know if I've ever met the person that does that.

31:40 Adam You know what I mean?

31:40 Drew Who is that person out there that does that to their fiancé's daughter?

31:46 Adam The little oral once in a while?

31:48 Drew Think about that.

31:48 Caller Who is that person?

31:50 Adam When you get drunk, though, that's a problem with getting really loaded. Everything seems like a decent idea. I mean, this guy... I'm sure he holds a job down. I'm sure he's not out wielding a machete and getting talked off of roofs and having SWAT teams fire at him. Probably got a job. Probably doesn't cause too much trouble. Mom thinks he's a decent enough guy. Then, you know, drinks half a bottle of tequila one night and thinks, go down on my 12 year old stepdaughter. Yeah.

32:19 Drew It's more like she's hot. I bet she's into me.

32:22 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

32:24 Adam I'm kind of pissed at Mom, but I'll show her.

32:27 Caller Come in and give me a hug.

32:31 Drew Well, I wish they were all that obvious.

32:34 Caller What can you get?

32:36 Adam Well, at least he performed on her. I mean, there is a bright spot. Robert. Robert. Roberta. Oh, is that Roberta? Sorry. Roberta, you're 15. What's up?

32:47 John Adams Yeah. Okay. I had sex with two guys before. Like last year with my boyfriend and it wouldn't go in.

33:00 Adam Yeah. Maybe six. Are you a little person, Roberta?

33:03 John Adams No, I'm 15.

33:05 Adam Are you a little person?

33:07 John Adams Oh, I'm short.

33:08 Drew You're short?

33:09 John Adams I'm short.

33:10 Adam Okay. Sounds like she's from a little put.

33:13 Drew No, a little mushy land.

33:14 John Adams Yeah. And then over the weekend, I was with this guy that I totally loved and everything. And we were like, he's never had sex before and I never have. Like, you know, really. And it wouldn't go on either. And then so we stopped.

33:28 Drew Well, good. That's your body telling you it's not ready.

33:31 Adam That's right.

33:32 Drew That's what it is?

33:33 Adam Yeah, it's probably not being a sound like a splinter.

33:35 Drew Probably an anxiety, probably because of anxiety. There is something called vaginismus. We actually have some health wise articles about that in Dr. drew.com with some links to organizations that give you exercise and things help overcome that. But when it's anxiety, that's appropriate because you're not ready for this or you've had some trauma in the past that this is reminding you of Roberta, then it's maybe something more of a reaction to how you're feeling.

33:58 Adam If you have it on December 25th, it's called Vagic Christmas.

34:01 Caller Right, Drew?

34:02 Adam Thanks. Yeah.

34:03 Drew Day before Vagic Christmas.

34:04 Adam There you go.

34:05 John Adams And then the next day on Sunday, I was bleeding.

34:07 Adam When is Vagic Christmas? The 25th. 25th, right? Yeah. OK.

34:11 John Adams Why?

34:12 Adam All through the house. Yes. All righty. Yes, Roberta.

34:15 John Adams And then the next day, I was bleeding on Sunday.

34:17 Adam You're bleeding.

34:18 John Adams I was. And I was over my period.

34:21 Adam You want to know whose blood that is? That's the blood of Christ coming from your vagina. That's what came from his wrists. Shut up! Do you hear me? Yeah. You understand? He's crying. He cries blood, Christ does. I don't know if you know that. And it's because he wants you to remain a virgin.

34:39 John Adams Okay.

34:39 Adam He weeps for your hymen. All right?

34:42 John Adams Okay.

34:43 Adam I pray for your hymen.

34:44 John Adams All right.

34:45 Adam So no sex for a little while. Just give it a little more time.

34:49 John Adams Okay.

34:49 Adam Another 11 years or so. All right, Roberta? No, just a couple of years.

34:53 Drew Do you have a hymen?

34:55 John Adams Huh?

34:55 Drew Do you have a hymen?

34:56 Caller What is that?

34:58 Drew When you know what that is, that may be when it's time to stop thinking about sex.

35:02 Adam What is that? A woman not knowing she has a hymen, it's like you owning a car and not knowing what the steering wheel is. You know what I mean? I mean, don't you have to know what your goddamn hymen is when you're sexually or at least attempting to be sexually active female?

35:21 Drew But in certain sort of, shall we say cultures, if you say cherry.

35:25 Adam Oh, you say cherry. Oh, I see. I see.

35:27 Drew Roberta?

35:28 John Adams Yes.

35:28 Adam You have a cherry?

35:29 John Adams Yes.

35:30 Adam Okay. Thank you. You're pre-med?

35:33 Caller Okay. Hold on.

35:35 Adam You can't ask for a better answer than huh? Biogenarian.

35:39 Caller Alright.

35:40 Adam For Christ's sake. Okay. Hold on. Listen to me, you idiots. None of you could be dumber than I was when I was in junior high. You just couldn't be. I was the world's worst goddamn student. I was a ceramics major. Do you hear me?

36:00 Caller I never took algebra. Never.

36:03 Drew If you had called a radio show though and had an interaction, listened, responded.

36:07 Caller Yes.

36:08 Adam I guarantee none of you were dumber than I was in junior high. I would match my academic record against any of you idiots. Never took any of the SATs, never applied for any college, and still haven't got a diploma, ceramics major, failed biology, failed driver's education, driver's education, driver's ed, failed, okay? Was not allowed to take biology, never spoke a foreign language. We're impressed. I will mark my academic record against any of you idiots. Yet, when I was in the ninth grade, there was a girl named Debbi Hyman, and what did we call her? Buster. That is right, because we knew what a Hyman was. I have no Hyman. I know what a Hyman was in the ninth grade, for Christ's sake.

36:58 Drew Jesus, what is going on in this laboratory?

37:00 Adam Line one?

37:01 Caller All right.

37:03 Adam Sean. Yes, you're 15. What's up?

37:06 Caller I got these bumps on my genitals. I'm not sure what it is.

37:11 Drew Are they on the testes?

37:12 I found both.

37:14 Drew Are they sort of white and soft?

37:18 I don't know about soft.

37:20 Caller They kind of look like acne.

37:22 Adam Are you sexually active?

37:24 Caller No.

37:25 Drew Could it be like acne? You can get little sores down there like that.

37:31 Caller It's like, I don't know.

37:33 Drew That's probably what it is. Keep it clean. Don't let it get infected.

37:36 Adam Hey, remember the point I was making?

37:39 Caller Oh.

37:41 Adam Oh. No. Oh. Is it like? Is it?

37:45 Oh.

37:48 Adam Acne is it?

37:49 Caller Oh.

37:51 Adam Okay. One, oh, for yes and two, oh, for no. Are you hungry? Do you want liver?

38:01 Caller Hi.

38:02 Adam Cameron. Here, 25. What's up?

38:07 Caller What's up?

38:07 Adam Yeah, what's up?

38:08 Caller Oh, she wanted me to tell you about this masturbation technique that I made up when I was in junior high school.

38:14 Drew All right, hold on. Who's she?

38:15 Adam Who's she?

38:16 Caller The chick that I just talked to.

38:18 Your operator or whatever.

38:19 Adam Are you on the speaker phone?

38:21 Caller No, I'm on the portable.

38:23 Adam All right.

38:24 Caller I'm in the bathroom now.

38:25 Adam I understand. Hold on a second, Cameron. Okay. I can't wait to hear this. All right? Yeah. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Boy, do we have idiots calling this show tonight. 20 people in their late 20s and their teens. I mean, it's quite a broad spectrum of idiots that are calling this show tonight. Cavalcade. Somebody call up with some degree of intelligence, please. I beg you. We should have some sort of hotline for 100 IQ and over that we could put together. Jesus Christ. All right. Oh, yeah. Where's my farters? Where are my where are my fart on command kids? Oh, yeah. Those guys talk to those kids. Those are my peeps. All right. We'll take a break. We'll come back with a Cameron and his masturbatory technique that he's pioneered after this.

39:15 Caller Love line one eight hundred one one nine one. Well, it's worth hearing.

39:20 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

39:21 Drew This is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Love Line on the Zone one oh five.

39:25 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

39:26 Drew This is Dr. Drew.

39:27 Adam And you're listening to Love Line on the Zone one oh five. It's the Loveline, the man in the Drew phone number 1-800-L-V-E-191. Let's just go home and play music.

39:52 Caller Let's play some music.

39:55 Adam Who's going to know? We'll just hear the same rip. Who is this, Anderson? Stain? Yeah, I had him on the show.

40:05 Caller Who?

40:06 Adam Stain. They were on the show not too long ago, I don't think.

40:11 Caller Play that riff again.

40:13 Caller Yeah. Got that cured up?

40:14 Caller No.

40:16 Caller Yeah.

40:18 Adam You guys could take on this for about another hour and 15 minutes, couldn't you? It's a pretty strong riff. We got someone ready to fart. All right. Here we go. Thank you very much, Tyler.

40:32 Caller Hey, Adam. Hey. It's been a long time. Yeah.

40:35 Adam I think it was one of my own.

40:37 Caller Yeah.

40:38 Adam My own testicles, that is. Tyler, you can fart on command, right, brother? Yeah.

40:46 Drew What made you think of having these guys call you back?

40:48 Adam We gave you the hotline number. I love farting. I love it.

40:52 Drew What made you think of it? These guys particularly?

40:54 Adam I don't know why somebody Anderson brought it up. I think it popped into my head via Anderson's head, and now Tyler's called. Tyler, why have you been ignoring us?

41:04 I haven't.

41:04 Caller I've been called a long time.

41:07 I've been trying to call in.

41:08 Caller What? The phone screeners never let me on. What? It's qualified. What?

41:13 The phone screeners never let me.

41:14 Adam Oh my God. This is an outrage.

41:18 Caller Over 10 times.

41:20 Drew It was Lisa.

41:22 Adam Lisa did that? She was here.

41:23 Drew She was anti-Tyler. I told her.

41:25 Caller They answer the phone and then they say, I can always tell. They ask somebody and then they just say, no, and then just hang up.

41:33 Adam Lisa. I'll tell you, this show, this is the most amazing organization in the world. All right. Lisa is very, very lucky she is not here. I'm outraged by this. Idiots. I tell the person to call the goddamn show and they're doing the screening. How many times did you call and were turned down?

41:56 Caller Probably ten.

41:58 Adam What the hell is going on?

42:00 Caller I haven't talked. You know it.

42:02 Adam Was it really ten times?

42:03 Caller Yeah, it's been like three months and I've tried, like maybe almost ten, like maybe a little less, like eight.

42:10 Adam And Anderson says three times?

42:12 Caller Anderson's crazy.

42:13 Adam Well, we know who's Camp Anderson's in. He's in Smack Dab in the middle of Lisa's camp.

42:19 Caller Yeah.

42:19 Adam All right, Tyler. Well, thank God you got through this time. This is an outrage.

42:24 Caller All right, here we go.

42:24 Adam Okay. Oh, man, it has been so long, three months since I've heard the crack of your ass.

42:54 Drew Oh, I wish I could describe to people the visual I just got. Basically, Adam, I imagine you are getting on a rollercoaster, just waiting, just waiting.

43:04 Adam Big ass rollercoaster.

43:05 Drew Concentrate, looking straight forward, and then it hits.

43:08 Adam Methane rollercoaster. I am so delighted with gas, and not only don't understand those who aren't delighted with it, but have a disdain for them. I really do. There's a handful of guys out there who don't like farting, and don't trust them. Not for one second. To me, it means the absence of a sense of humor. That's what it means to me. Guys who don't like farting, I'm sorry Anderson, you don't like farting. You're missing a very key component in your personality. You're either missing a sense of humor. Is that you, Tyler? No way. No way.

43:59 Caller No way.

44:04 John Adams Why is that funny?

44:10 Adam No way. Hold on, is that Jennifer? Genevieve? Yeah. That wasn't you, was it?

44:22 That wasn't me.

44:23 Adam What the hell was that? That must have been Anderson.

44:26 That was wicked.

44:26 Adam I'm going to put that on my outgoing phone machine message there, Anderson. Jesus Christ, who let that thing? Was that a... is that real? Sound bite. I'm going to put that on my outgoing phone machine message there, Anderson. Jesus Christ, who let that thing? Was that a...

44:41 Caller is that real?

44:42 Adam Sound bite. Nice. Hey, Genevieve.

44:45 Caller Yeah?

44:46 Adam I know you represent the gals in the Powder Puff Division of the Gas Competition.

44:51 Drew Power Puff, in this case.

44:53 Adam Yes, the Power Puff. You want to work something up for us, too? A little battle of the sexes between you and Tyler? Yeah, you feel good, Genevieve?

45:03 Caller Yeah.

45:03 Adam You want to start?

45:05 Caller Okay.

45:06 Adam Tyler, you ready to answer her?

45:08 Caller All right, here we go.

45:09 Caller Wait, who's going first?

45:11 Adam You go first, Genevieve.

45:12 Caller Okay.

45:12 Caller I'll listen to this.

45:13 Adam Wait a minute, Tyler, go.

45:15 Caller All right, here we go.

45:25 Adam Hi, that was solid. Maybe you two should meet and give birth to a super, super hybrid farting baby. Hi, Genevieve. Genevieve sounds genuinely intrigued by Tyler's ass. Genevieve, what do you got for me? Okay, I'll try. All right.

45:58 Caller Wow.

46:01 Adam That is awesome. Hey, Tyler, Genevieve.

46:04 Caller Yeah.

46:05 Adam I'm going to give you guys my cell phone number too. Okay. Guys, just call me when I'm on the road. Because LA is hell, there's a lot of traffic, I have a high stress job. You kids call me up, make a little wind, bring a little sunshine into my day.

46:22 Caller Like me.

46:23 Oh man.

46:24 Adam Genevieve, do you have a man in your life, a boyfriend?

46:28 Caller I'm not really sure right now.

46:29 Adam Oh, I see. He's a little like, I'll tell you, any man would be crazy to pass you on. That is amazing.

46:37 John Adams I'll tell him that.

46:38 Okay.

46:39 Adam Let's hear one more from both of you before we move on. You want to start, Tyler? Here we go. Let's hear the inhale too.

46:47 Oh yeah.

46:47 Caller I'll walk you through the process.

46:49 Yeah.

46:49 Adam I want you guys to see if you can work one together.

46:52 Oh, really?

46:53 Adam A lovely duet like peaches and herb.

46:56 Caller All right. Well, hold on.

46:57 Caller All right.

46:58 Adam Hold on.

46:59 Caller Here comes the in.

47:00 Adam All right. Genevieve? Go, baby.

47:07 That was all in.

47:09 Caller That was all in?

47:12 That was the app.

47:13 Caller Nice.

47:16 Adam Genevieve, what about you?

47:17 Caller Okay. I'll try again.

47:19 Caller Yeah.

47:19 Adam All right.

47:19 Caller Here we go.

47:24 Adam Wow. Nice. Okay. There's nothing better. Nothing funnier. There's no comedian that could ever write that funny. Shakespeare, isn't that clever? Yeah. What's that?

47:37 Caller Like my friends all know about this, what I've been doing. I'm like, they all would listen the nights that I would do it. And then it's just, it's sad that I had to like stop calling.

47:47 Adam Yeah. It breaks my heart.

47:48 Caller I was called in one time too. When the cast of that 70s show was on.

47:53 Adam Listen, Genevieve Tyler, first off, I apologize on behalf of myself, Loveline, the affiliates in your local radio station. Number one. Number two, I am outraged. Outraged that you called the hotline that I gave you and that the phone screeners turned you away because it did not bode with their personal sensibilities. Listen, oh, God, is that Lisa Lucky she's not here. I would go sick on her if she was here right now. I apologize. And you two, you call back whenever you like. Okay. All right. All right. Thank you very much. They take true talent like that. And these kids are busy. They don't have time to be calling radio stations and waiting on hold. They're talented artisans. You understand? And the fact that we put them through the mill that way and then rejected them is, it's a crime. And again, I cannot apologize enough for it. And I apologize to you, the listeners, for not sharing that with you over the last couple of months. We will say hi to Cameron. Cameron, we teased you on the way out, but then the ass twins called in. We had to move on. Now we have to move on again. But don't worry, you're going to tell us how you masturbate. You're going to give us this technique you have.

49:18 Caller I made it up when I was like 14 or 15. I don't do it anymore. I figured there might be some kids out there about that age.

49:24 Drew Alright, we'll hear about it.

49:25 Adam Alright Cameron, hang on.

49:27 Caller Alright.

49:27 Adam I know you're out of the bathroom. I want to thank you for that.

49:29 Drew Yeah.

49:30 Adam Alright, we'll be back with Cameron and his masturbation technique after this.

49:37 Caller Stay tuned for more Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

49:44 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

49:45 Drew This is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Loveline on The Zone 105.

50:03 Adam It's Loveline. We're going to take a quick ten-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the program in just ten seconds.

50:09 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Sputure.

50:13 Caller Zone 105, KZNR Lakeville, KZNT Cambridge, KZNZ Eden Prairie. This is Zone 105.

50:23 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Lestru, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Remember, lightning round tonight, kiddies. Yeah, you don't want to stay up for that. My buddy Ace Rockolla is going to step into the pilot's chair here, the captain's seat, and get it done. Cameron? You're 25? Yeah. All right, so you used to do a certain masturbation technique.

50:49 Caller Yeah.

50:51 Adam And did it involve you just getting an erection, lying on your belly and rubbing on the bed?

50:56 Caller No.

50:57 Adam No.

50:57 Caller How'd it go?

50:58 Caller It was pretty complicated. I made this up.

51:00 Caller I had to put a lot of thought into it. All right.

51:03 Caller Get his protractor out.

51:06 Caller You know those big ziplock freezer bags?

51:10 Caller Yeah.

51:10 Caller All right. Take one of those and fill it with hot water and then seal it and then fold it in half. Then you wrap all that up in a towel and then squirt some conditioner in there and then put it in between your mattresses. Between?

51:31 Caller Oh, yeah.

51:32 Caller Then just lay the mag right on the mattress and then just go to town.

51:36 Adam Jesus Christ. I would have never got a girlfriend if I had figured that thing out.

51:41 Caller Well, I didn't have a girlfriend back then. I was like 14 or 15.

51:44 Adam That is amazing.

51:46 Caller It feels like the real deal.

51:47 Adam How long did you use that technique?

51:51 Caller Pretty much all through high school.

51:53 Adam Once in a while when you get drunk, you take a little whack down memory lane. Do you ever get out the old ziplock bag?

51:59 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

52:01 Adam When you see a commercial for one of those ziplock bags in a sort of Pavlovian response, does your penis start drooling?

52:11 Caller Maybe.

52:11 Caller I don't know.

52:12 Caller Not anymore.

52:13 Caller I don't have to do it anymore. I get laid now.

52:15 Adam I understand, but well.

52:17 Caller I thought that maybe you would like it because I know you like to masturbate.

52:21 Drew I think Adam's hand would be jealous. I think you would get uncomfortable. I don't think it would do it for you.

52:26 Adam You are probably right. Yes. Hold on. What's that? Is that all right? Is that all right? All right. My hand says it's all right. Senior Wences has spoken. All right, Cameron. That's an ingenious technique.

52:42 Caller I just thought you might want to know.

52:44 Adam I do appreciate that and I think that's nice. Here's the question I have. Did your folks ever find anything pressed between the box spring and the mattress?

52:53 Caller No. They probably noticed that the Ziploc bags were going pretty quick.

52:57 Drew Did they ever rupture and make a big mess?

53:00 Caller Yeah.

53:00 Drew But you couldn't explain?

53:03 Caller No.

53:03 Caller They never checked.

53:04 Caller It didn't matter.

53:05 Adam No one ever walked in on you doing that?

53:08 Caller No. I never got busted.

53:09 Adam Yeah. It was my sincere wish that you had. All right, Cameron.

53:15 Caller If you want, I can come on to the Man Show and demonstrate how to make one. All right.

53:19 Adam Hold on. We'll book you.

53:21 Drew Idiot.

53:23 Adam Kristen.

53:24 John Adams Hello.

53:24 Adam You're 21.

53:25 Drew What's up?

53:26 John Adams I have a quick question about an acne medication that I've been taking.

53:30 Adam Right.

53:30 John Adams I guess it's for Dr. Drew. It's not specifically for acne. It's minocycline. It's an antibiotic. I wanted to know if there are any bad effects if I take it long term.

53:46 Drew No. That's why they have people take that long term.

53:49 John Adams Okay. I just asked because I had a girlfriend who was on it and she ended up having all sorts of problems with ovaries and stuff like that. It really freaked me out.

53:58 Drew From minocycline? Minicyn?

54:00 John Adams Minocycline.

54:01 Drew She had problems with her ovaries from minicyn?

54:03 John Adams They don't know if that's what it was from. No. She had been taking it for over two years.

54:07 Drew No, no, no.

54:08 Caller No, no, no.

54:09 So how long can I take it?

54:11 Drew I'm not sure there's a time limitation. In general, when dermatologists prescribe it, it is for years.

54:17 John Adams Okay. There's nothing weird about taking an antibiotic for a long time.

54:21 Drew This is designed specifically for that. The only thing I ever worry about, and I brought this up to the dermatologist, is something called Pseudotumor Cerebrae that I once saw from Tentracycline. It's sort of a headache syndrome. And they said it just never happens.

54:35 Adam Yeah. What is it? You know, I'm 35. I still get zits.

54:40 Drew What is up with that? Tell me about it.

54:42 Adam Yeah. What is that? That's bad luck. Is that what that is?

54:45 Drew Bad genes.

54:45 Adam Actually, I don't really get zits. My problems are all sort of hair related. Ingrown hairs, shaving, rashes, things like that. I rarely get just a sort of basic everyday zit. But I still get one once in a while and I'll still get one on my back now and again. And I keep thinking about it. I'm 35. I've got gray hair for Christ's sake. Enough. Gray hairs and a zit. You know what I mean? I'm standing in the mirror. I'm looking at myself. I'm going, I've got a zit on my shoulder.

55:13 Drew No mercy. No mercy.

55:13 Adam And I have gray hair popping out of my head.

55:16 Caller What the hell is that?

55:18 Caller What is that?

55:20 Adam Jesus Christ.

55:24 Caller Mental note.

55:25 Adam I've got to see him so I can kick him in the nuts for that. Louis?

55:29 Caller Yes.

55:29 Drew Year 18?

55:30 Caller Yes.

55:31 Adam What is that?

55:33 Caller My parents have gone through a separation and now they're getting a divorce.

55:36 Adam All right.

55:37 Caller And my dad had really bad kidney stone problems and he became addicted to the pain coaches they're giving him. As in, they start out slow with like Vicodin and then Demerol and then Demerol injections.

55:50 Adam Demerol injections? Wow, that's pretty heavy.

55:52 Caller Yes. He was going through like 10 of those a day.

55:55 Caller Wow.

55:56 Adam Yes.

55:56 Drew And that's the real thing. That is severe addiction.

55:59 Caller And then he's kind of backed off a little bit but he doesn't want to go to rehab or anything like that.

56:03 Adam Where does he get all the injectable Demerol?

56:06 Caller Doctors.

56:08 Drew Different ones?

56:08 Caller Yes. Yes. He keeps bouncing back and forth.

56:11 Adam Don't they have a way to meter that?

56:13 Drew No. The pharmacy should but people can overcome that easily. Why don't you call some of these doctors and alert them to see if they can intervene and get your dad into some treatment because this isn't the kind of thing you can back off of.

56:23 Adam You can't.

56:24 Drew No.

56:24 Caller We've tried that and he just keeps finding new doctors.

56:28 Adam I don't know. Like Elvis' doctors?

56:30 Drew Why don't you go to Alan on our Allatee and get some help for yourself.

56:34 Caller Okay.

56:34 Drew That's about all you can do.

56:35 Caller And I've been after this girl for a while and she hasn't really shown any interest in me and she like became my best friend and now I don't know how to deal with that.

56:45 Drew Oh boy.

56:46 Adam You've got to shoot her up a dimmer all in and hop on her.

56:49 Caller Okay.

56:49 Drew I think he did all that hard work of establishing her.

56:54 Adam It happens all the time. It happens to the worst of us.

56:57 Caller Yeah but every time I get in a relationship they compare them to her and it just doesn't work.

57:01 Adam Yeah. Well stop it.

57:03 Drew She has no idea you're into her that way, huh?

57:04 Caller Yeah she does.

57:05 Drew Oh she does?

57:06 Caller Yeah.

57:06 Drew And what does she say about that?

57:08 Caller Nothing really.

57:09 Drew She's not into it?

57:10 Caller No.

57:10 Adam Oh that is a bitch.

57:12 Caller Well she says sometimes like she is and then she says she's not.

57:15 Caller Oh please.

57:16 Adam When you get extra needy she says she is. Yeah. Hey Louis? Yeah. There's someone out there for you. Maybe more than one.

57:24 Drew But more importantly.

57:24 Adam Not her.

57:25 Drew Take care of yourself right now. You're really looking for refuge in these relationships or leave from the pain of dealing with these, the parents of yours.

57:31 Adam Yeah.

57:31 Drew And it's time to take care of Louis. Get, go to Al-Anon, go to Alateen, develop some relationships that are more healthy, not romantic, but just people available to help you deal with your feelings.

57:42 Adam How much more powerful is injecting them are all than taking in a pill for them?

57:47 Drew I'm not sure you can quantify it that way. You can get a lot more in more quickly and that tends to make it more addictive.

57:52 Caller Yeah.

57:53 Caller So it's.

57:54 Adam The kidney stones are pretty painful though, aren't they?

57:57 Caller Yeah.

57:57 Adam I don't blame the guy.

57:58 Drew But that's not what's going on here. Please. Okay.

58:01 Adam Carl?

58:02 Drew Yeah.

58:03 Adam You're 18?

58:04 Drew Yeah.

58:04 Caller What's up?

58:06 Drew But, excuse me, Carl. The kidney stones hurt for a while and that's it.

58:10 Caller All right, Carl. Yeah.

58:11 Caller I'm 18 and I've only been able to have more gouters through wet drinks during my sleep and never through masturbation. In fact, I don't masturbate because of that. I just get irritated so I just stop.

58:23 Adam Okay. Why you got to kill yourself?

58:26 Caller I don't really want to do that.

58:28 Drew Are you on any medication?

58:30 Caller No medication.

58:31 Drew How long have you gone in terms of trying this before you give up generally? In other words, how long have you tried it to organize it before you forget it?

58:40 Caller How do I try? How long do you go on? How long? Ten minutes. Ten minutes or fifteen, something like that.

58:45 Adam Yeah. Have you been with a woman?

58:47 Caller No.

58:48 Adam What do you think would happen if you were with a woman? Have to fall asleep on top of her?

58:54 Caller I don't know. I don't know how excited I would get. I probably wouldn't have a problem.

58:58 Adam What's the most you've done with a woman?

59:02 Caller Basically, just touching and all that stuff, kissing. That's about it.

59:06 Drew It's really you have no arousal by yourself though. You have no connection.

59:11 Adam You have an erection when you're by yourself though, right?

59:15 Caller Yeah. That's about all I can get.

59:17 Adam You can't get anything out of yourself?

59:19 Caller No. I get no pleasurable feelings at all.

59:21 Drew Are you on medication?

59:23 Caller No.

59:23 Drew Do you have any medical problems?

59:26 Caller I have gynecomastia but I don't know if that would have anything to do with that.

59:31 Caller Yeah.

59:32 Drew You have that not from medication but just from development?

59:35 Caller Yeah.

59:36 Drew Are you overweight?

59:37 Caller Excuse me?

59:38 Drew Are you heavy? Do you weigh a lot?

59:42 Caller Well I'm 6'5, 230.

59:44 Drew That's about right. The reason I ask that is that adipose tissue, a very high body fat percentage, can result in high levels of estrogen and very suppressed levels of testosterone.

59:58 Adam What are they going to do about your gynecomastia?

1:00:01 Caller I don't really know about that. I went to the doctor about a year and a half ago but I really didn't get into it that much because I was basically going for a checkup.

1:00:13 Adam Let me ask Carl a couple of questions here because I am an expert in this field, Drew.

1:00:18 Caller Which hounderspace?

1:00:21 Adam First off, I don't want to twist the night but I can squeeze one off about a minute and a half. I really could.

1:00:28 Drew You've got the ninja.

1:00:29 Adam Jumping rope.

1:00:30 Drew Don't you?

1:00:30 Adam Jumping rope.

1:00:32 Caller I would love to be able to do that.

1:00:33 Adam That's right.

1:00:35 Drew Or how about when you were the woman?

1:00:36 Adam Watching Hearts of Darkness. I could do it. With a woman? No, with a woman, well either way. I can take a while or I can get one off depending on what's on TV. But Carl, you get an erection and you can maintain the erection okay, right?

1:00:54 Caller Yeah, no problem.

1:00:55 Adam And you start touching yourself and does it feel good to touch yourself?

1:01:01 Caller Actually, yeah, it does.

1:01:02 Adam Okay, and you have any pornography on hand?

1:01:05 Caller I have plenty.

1:01:06 Adam You got plenty?

1:01:07 Caller Yeah.

1:01:08 Adam You put the pornography on, you have movies? And you start touching yourself, you get a little rhythm going. It takes a little while to work a technique out and you've never had that break-in period.

1:01:19 Caller Right, but I just get bored with it.

1:01:21 Adam Yeah, well, that's not an option. You're going to have to get one off because once you get one off, that's it. You're on your way. It is hard to get that first one off.

1:01:33 Caller I've tried, I've come so far as to try to set the mood and all this, that, and the other.

1:01:40 Drew Carl, I want to have something going on biologically with you. You really do need to see a doctor by the sky and come ask you at 18. For a 13-year-old to have that, it's not uncommon, but at 18 and then have this sort of decreased arousal business with your sexual response just makes me concerned that there's something biologically going on.

1:01:59 Adam Six-five and brass is not a great combo either by the way. Once in a while you see a guy who's got a little of that going, it's not something that the ladies flock to. Yeah, see a doctor, figure it out. I'd like to come over there and work with the lad. I really would.

1:02:17 Drew Personal trainer?

1:02:18 Adam Yeah.

1:02:19 Drew Corolla training?

1:02:20 Adam Show up with my workout belt on, you know, roll of paper towels on the side, a lotion dispenser, have a universal remote, you know, all the stuff I usually use. Oh boy. Oh, that is rough. Okay. Josh?

1:02:38 Yeah.

1:02:38 Adam You're 13?

1:02:39 Caller Yeah. When I try to masturbate but I can't orgasm.

1:02:43 Adam You're a little fiend night going, yeah.

1:02:46 Caller Is it because I'm too young?

1:02:47 Drew Yes.

1:02:47 Adam You're 13.

1:02:49 Caller That's fine.

1:02:50 Drew This will take care of itself. Why are you even trying to masturbate?

1:02:57 Caller I want it as an organ.

1:02:58 Caller Oh, okay. Hey, Josh?

1:03:03 Adam Yeah. We appreciate your candor first off. We really do. That was kind of a no doubt question there, Drew. We wanted something to come out of the scene.

1:03:12 Drew Usually there's something driving. There's more than just a curiosity.

1:03:17 Adam You got older friends who are masturbating and trying to keep up with?

1:03:21 Drew Yeah, I guess you're right.

1:03:22 Adam A little peer pressure. All right, Josh, you're fine. You're 13. Okay.

1:03:27 Drew All right.

1:03:28 Adam You're just weeks away. I predict it. There's a big bucket of semen just around the corner. Okay? Okay. All right. I didn't get going until 16. I think I was 16. You believe that?

1:03:44 Drew Well, you can catch them.

1:03:45 Adam Old maid.

1:03:46 Drew Pretty nice.

1:03:47 Adam Thank you. Thank you very much. Angelina?

1:03:51 John Adams Hi.

1:03:51 Drew What's up?

1:03:52 John Adams All right.

1:03:53 Adam Twenty years old.

1:03:54 John Adams Yeah. When I was younger, I was molested by one of my older brother's friends. I told my brother about that and they got in a fight and they didn't talk anymore. How old were you? I've been having these flashbacks of things that have happened, but I can't put it together. I was wondering if I went to hypnosis if it would work and help me get my memory back.

1:04:17 Drew How old were you when this happened?

1:04:18 John Adams Nine.

1:04:20 Caller I have this vision.

1:04:21 Adam Way up. It's quiet. What did he do to you?

1:04:24 John Adams Well, he had spent the night over here and he was sleeping on the floor and I was sleeping on the couch and he just started going down my pants and I just pretended I was sleeping because I was scared. Then he just started going up my shirt and then finally I just got up and I cursed him out. I cursed at him and then I went into the bathroom and started crying. And then a while later I told my brother because I was scared and they got in a fight. But I have these like weird.

1:04:51 Adam How old was he?

1:04:53 John Adams He was about 16.

1:04:56 Adam Going up the shirt of a nine-year-old.

1:04:58 Caller Yeah. That's the down like.

1:05:00 Adam Well, the down part I understand but the up the shirt of a nine-year-old. That's some kind of strategy there.

1:05:07 John Adams I don't know.

1:05:08 Adam Might as well go up your own shirt for Christ's sake. Oh, my God.

1:05:11 John Adams I don't know. I just can't. I mean, like, but there's other stuff that's happened also and that's just even more complicated but I just don't understand, like, what these flashbacks are from.

1:05:21 Caller You know what I mean?

1:05:22 Drew What do you think you're saying?

1:05:24 Caller What do I think I'm seeing?

1:05:26 John Adams Is that what you said? Yeah.

1:05:27 Adam You're having a flashback, right?

1:05:28 John Adams It's just like... I'm just like somebody else touching me, and there's another girl involved in it, like younger while we're younger, and I can't put it together.

1:05:39 Drew I know that would fit with you being a victim at nine.

1:05:42 Caller Yeah.

1:05:43 Adam On the other hand, what this guy did wasn't great. You had sort of the right reaction, and it doesn't sound like something that would scar you for life.

1:05:54 Caller No.

1:05:54 Adam Bad episode, but certainly by Loveline's standards, we've heard a lot worse.

1:06:00 John Adams Oh, I know, but I...

1:06:01 Adam And maybe, though, there was some history of this before that, neighbors, something like that. God knows what the family unit is like. Not great, I'm guessing.

1:06:13 John Adams Well, like, actually, I only lived with my mother, my father, and my uncles, two of my uncles, died a long time ago when I was younger.

1:06:22 Adam Of what?

1:06:22 John Adams So I never really knew anybody else. My mom kind of kept me with her.

1:06:27 Adam Oh, listen, Angela, Angelina.

1:06:29 John Adams Angelina.

1:06:30 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, who cares? Now listen to me, it's all one big number for me. I wouldn't go crazy exploring this thing. I'm not a big fan of this, you know, this I got to get into hypnotherapy.

1:06:45 Drew Oh, no. Sword everything. No, no, no, no.

1:06:47 Adam In a way, it's sort of gimmickry. You know what it is? Here's what it is. I'll give one of my analogies, and this one's not going to involve a car either. Shocked. Therapy is a long process and it takes some work. And there's no free lunch in it. And once in a while, people try to sort of sidestep that process. Well, you read Dianetics, sure, there's a volcano going off on the cover of this book, Elrond Hover is a genius, and it's going to solve all my problems in the subway on the way to work when I read this book. It magically doesn't work. And here's the analogy. Once in a while, you open a magazine, and it has some electrode thing that you strap to your belly, it's the equivalent to doing 1,500 sit-ups, and you think to yourself, that's great. Because while I'm watching TV and snacking, I can be doing 1,500 sit-ups. But you know what? It doesn't work. It doesn't because you're not sweating. And the only way to get washboard abs is for you to sweat a little bit. And it's the same with this hypnotherapy or these books or self-help tapes or whatever, as opposed to therapy. You got to get in there and you got to pay the fiddler a little bit. Otherwise it will not work by definition.

1:07:57 Drew That's true. Basically your brain will let you have conscious of what they can deal with.

1:08:02 Adam Yeah. You can go be hypnotized and pull anything out you want.

1:08:05 Drew So what?

1:08:06 Adam Yeah. The guy will tell you you're Napoleon. You'll believe him. And then you'll start getting into those great past life regressions.

1:08:11 Drew Well, no. But even if you could remember accurately what had happened, So what? What would that do for you? So all the feelings that have to go along with that need to be sorted through very carefully.

1:08:19 Adam That's right. And it turns out you'll be nobility though if you get past life. John? Yeah. You're 18.

1:08:26 Drew Yeah. I was nobility.

1:08:28 Adam I'm nobility. Yes, I was a...

1:08:30 Drew I'm a military commander.

1:08:31 Adam I was a great powerful king who led warriors into battle. Yeah. I'm not... I wasn't a guy who mopped up at the vomitorium and died on the crapper. No. I was leading my troops into battle.

1:08:45 Drew And by the way, if we really were going to be people that lived in ancient times, most of us would have died by the age of five.

1:08:51 Adam Oh, that's true. Yeah. What about those past life regressions where you just died at birth?

1:08:56 Caller Did you get those?

1:08:58 Adam All right, Drew, are we going to start eating popcorn on the end? I'm going to break.

1:09:00 Caller All right.

1:09:01 Adam John?

1:09:02 Caller Yes.

1:09:02 Adam All right. Sorry about it. You're 18.

1:09:05 Caller Yes.

1:09:05 Adam You thought you were bisexual, but not sure.

1:09:09 Caller Yeah.

1:09:10 Adam You had sex with a guy?

1:09:11 Caller Yes.

1:09:12 Adam How was that?

1:09:13 Caller It was all right for the first time, but then after, I thought, you're gay.

1:09:20 Drew Have you had sex with a girl before?

1:09:21 Caller Yes.

1:09:22 Drew How did you like that?

1:09:23 Caller That was good.

1:09:25 Drew Why such confusion?

1:09:27 Caller I don't know. I believe I was molested when I was little.

1:09:33 Caller That would be why.

1:09:35 Caller I was molested by two little boys. I was around three or four.

1:09:39 Caller Wow.

1:09:40 Drew Other kids did it too?

1:09:41 Caller Yes.

1:09:41 Drew Little kids. Oh boy.

1:09:43 Adam Maybe something. Doesn't have to be everything, man. Better kids than adults.

1:09:49 Drew Can you just chalk this up to experience now and go on and be a little clearer about your orientation or you're still just as confused as before you had done this?

1:09:56 Caller Yes, I am.

1:09:57 Drew You're just as confused. Surprise, surprise. Maybe more confused now.

1:10:00 Adam Well, you didn't like the guys that much, did you?

1:10:03 Caller It was all right.

1:10:04 Drew This was confusing.

1:10:05 Adam How's the behind-man? Is that still intact?

1:10:09 Caller Oh, yeah. How's the behind-man?

1:10:11 Adam He's behind-man and that was all shot to hell?

1:10:13 Caller Yeah.

1:10:14 Adam Yeah, good man. I don't make you gay. You're giving it to him.

1:10:19 Drew How about a little therapy to try to deal with those traumas?

1:10:24 Caller I was trying to get some therapy but it's not working.

1:10:27 Caller Well, it takes a long time. He didn't even get in.

1:10:30 Drew He was just thinking about it.

1:10:31 Caller I was thinking about it.

1:10:33 Adam Well, it's not working.

1:10:34 Caller I don't have a good relationship right here with my parents. I don't talk to my dad that much.

1:10:38 Drew I'm surprised.

1:10:39 Adam Hey, John.

1:10:40 Caller Yes.

1:10:40 Adam Here's what you need to do. As you know, I'm a genius, right? Otherwise, I couldn't host a radio show. I couldn't be on radio if I wasn't a genius.

1:10:48 Caller Whatever.

1:10:49 Adam There's very stringent rules FCC lays out. So here's what it is. You've done a little experimenting and all it's done is serve to make you more confused. So just hang back a little bit. Don't question yourself so much. Don't try to figure everything out. Go on some walks, read some books, do a few push ups.

1:11:07 Drew Do you have a relationship? Something you really care about?

1:11:09 Adam Give a little counseling.

1:11:11 Caller I'm trying to get with some girl that I really want to get with.

1:11:14 Adam Okay, that's good. Don't give her the story about you sodomizing your body though. That freaks chicks out.

1:11:20 Drew A little bit.

1:11:21 Adam It really does.

1:11:22 Drew It's great.

1:11:24 Adam I had a girlfriend, a couple of girlfriends back and she told me about an experience she had with another woman once and I said, Yeah, my buddy Ray nailed him in the ass just one time.

1:11:41 Caller She was like, Huh?

1:11:42 Adam I said, Yeah, we had a couple of beers and we were at a party and he got out of the pool.

1:11:48 Caller He was looking pretty good.

1:11:49 Caller He's a well-built guy.

1:11:52 Adam We were in the back of that little tiki room back there and weather changed. First, we just start kissing, all the tongues and stuff and she was like, I'm going to start massaging his testicles and she was like, oh my God, no, stop it. I was like, baby, you were with a girl once and it wasn't your bag, but it's nothing that wasn't that big a deal. You're pretty open about it and I don't mind hearing it. It kind of turns me on a little bit.

1:12:22 Caller I'm just telling you, my friend right this one time.

1:12:26 Adam How dare you?

1:12:27 Caller She was like, oh no, oh my God, that's what I picture you doing.

1:12:32 Adam I was like, yeah, he's in me for a little while. She was like, oh no, no, and that's how women react, so don't tell him. Yeah. Actually, I said it was my buddy Mark Drotman, who's about 300 pounds, even better, even better. Big, hairy Jewish guy. Yeah, it was great. And every time I started getting into it, she was like, oh man, she was just repulsed by it. She was just wretch. She was just wretch. Yeah. And it's funny because when she told me about her experience, my hand was like going down my pants and we were in line at a movie. It's like, yeah, it's a totally different experience.

1:13:15 Drew Interesting.

1:13:16 Adam All right, guys, so keep it to yourself and we'll be back after this.

1:13:26 Drew This is Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Love Line on The Zone 105.

1:13:31 Adam This is Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew. And you're listening to Love Line on The Zone 105.

1:13:49 Drew Drew's favorite band.

1:13:51 Adam Hey, it is Loveline. Adam, that is Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-191. And let's hop back on the phones again. Lightning round coming up in just a few breaks, everyone. You'll want to stand by for that. Jami?

1:14:09 Caller Yes.

1:14:10 Adam You're 23 years old?

1:14:11 Caller Yes. Hi, how are you doing? Well, you begged someone with some type of intelligence to call, so you got your wish.

1:14:19 Caller Alright.

1:14:20 Caller I have a medical question for the doctor.

1:14:22 Caller Hi, Tami.

1:14:22 Drew What's up?

1:14:24 Caller My friend has a urinary tract infection. My question is, what causes that feeling of having to go to the bathroom every 5 or 10 minutes?

1:14:33 Drew It's inflammation of the urethra.

1:14:35 Caller Oh, okay.

1:14:36 Drew I was just wondering. The outflow tract is irritated and inflamed and it makes a feeling of urgency coming.

1:14:43 Caller Okay.

1:14:44 Drew So, here you go. Bacteria all through there where they don't belong.

1:14:49 Caller Huh?

1:14:50 Drew Bacteria all through that part of your urogenital tract where they don't belong.

1:14:54 Adam Right. Alright, Tami. Thank you.

1:14:56 Caller Thank you much.

1:14:57 Adam I think I could pee at just about any time. You know?

1:15:00 Drew No. What do you mean?

1:15:01 Adam I think I can urinate just about whenever.

1:15:03 Drew Would you have to pee or not pee?

1:15:04 Adam Yeah.

1:15:05 Drew To produce something.

1:15:06 Adam And produce something. We were talking on The Man Show about the Wheel of Destiny bit will be in this upcoming new season. You spin a big wheel, guy gets up there, could get wheelbarrow full of porn or you could get wear Adam's underpants on your head for the rest of the show. You know, a lot of good stuff, a lot of bad stuff. We were trying to think of some bad stuff for the next installment of the Wheel of Destiny and I said, how about Adam pees on your wallet? Sounds good. It's very solid. Take your wallet out and urinate on it.

1:15:38 Drew Right there in front of everybody.

1:15:39 Adam Well, you know, we make a little booth, you know, for a little urinal up. We toss the wall in there and I just give it a hose down. Jimmy said, can you pee on demand? I said, I'm peeing right now. I'm going to pee whenever I want.

1:15:54 Drew Jimmy is just not in command of his bodily function, doesn't he?

1:15:58 Adam Listen, I don't want to say anything bad about him because he listened to the show. But let me tell you, during the writers meeting the other day, farted 35 times. I completely dominated the room. Oh, you did? That was me. Tordy ass. I was really, I was so impressed with myself. It was amazing. Mark? Yeah? Year 21. What's up?

1:16:18 Caller Okay. I got a problem.

1:16:19 Adam My girlfriend seems to be allergic to my semen. What do you mean? Well, she got on the pill, and every time we have sex without a condom, she gets severe pain, and it seems to get red. Her vulva area is all red, wherever it has gotten on her.

1:16:42 Caller I don't necessarily like to wear a condom, since she's on the pill.

1:16:47 Drew If you wear a condom, there's no problem.

1:16:48 Adam Yeah, there's no problem. What if she goes down on you and gets some in her mouth? She doesn't like to do that, but she did try tasting it, and it didn't seem to be a problem like that.

1:16:59 Drew So it's hard to understand how that could be allergy then. Yeah.

1:17:02 Adam Yeah. Well, you see, because we have this allergic to semen, allergic to semen, allergic to semen, but when you get some of it in your mouth, wouldn't you have quite a reaction to it? Yeah. Let's, let's, let's take an example of Drew. I think it's sort of like a weed or, or some sort of plant life and then you touch it to your skin, you get a reaction to it. If you ate that, would you be pretty after that?

1:17:27 Drew Not necessarily, but if you reacted to something in your mouth, you should react in the vagina or the anus, same, same surface basically.

1:17:33 Adam Really? I think I got more anus surface in my mouth than mouth surface. Could that be possible?

1:17:38 Drew Anus surface in your mouth?

1:17:39 Adam Yeah.

1:17:41 Drew Think about that. No, thanks.

1:17:43 Adam So anyway, Mark, it's possible. We have heard of it. I'm always a little skeptical.

1:17:49 Drew I suspect there's something else going on. It's just some other sort of inflammation or infection of the vagina that when something irritating touches it, it gets worse. That's what I'm thinking.

1:18:02 Adam Because how often does this really happen, you think?

1:18:05 Drew Real rare.

1:18:06 Adam And don't you think people are much more apt? I mean, like, I heard some study once that said like 80% of people claim they're allergic to chocolate and aren't actually allergic to chocolate.

1:18:16 Drew Oh, absolutely.

1:18:17 Adam So people claim they're allergic to a lot more stuff than they actually are.

1:18:20 Drew Oh, yes.

1:18:21 Adam What is up with that? I hate those people. I'm allergic to nothing. Just work. That's the only thing I have a reaction to. Catherine?

1:18:30 Caller Yeah?

1:18:30 Adam You're 18 years old? What's up?

1:18:34 Caller Oh, my God. What is it? So my mom, she's like in jail right now, and it's because of a long story, but anyway, she's like a drug addict, and she was totally, I mean, she got basically busted doing crack and she's into heroin and cocaine and everything like that.

1:18:52 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:18:54 Caller Whose mom isn't?

1:18:57 Adam I remember when my mom went to the heroin mess crack place.

1:19:00 Caller That's good. So anyways, I haven't talked to her for like a year, and she called me the other day, and I was totally excited to talk to her and everything, and she tells me, she's like, okay, sit down. I'm like, okay, I'm sitting, and she tells me that she has married a woman, but I obviously can't marry one right now because of that law or whatever, but I'm sure they're like seriously going out or something like that.

1:19:20 Adam Well, they're seeing each other.

1:19:21 Drew But hold on here. Why hasn't she contacted you in a year?

1:19:24 Caller Well, she's been in jail, and I was living with my dad and he's like Persian, so there's no more explanation needed.

1:19:31 Drew So he was sort of abusive to her when they were together physically?

1:19:34 Caller To who?

1:19:35 Drew Was he abusive to her when they were together?

1:19:36 Caller Oh, not at all.

1:19:37 Adam Huh. Well, what's your dad being Persian have to do with that stuff?

1:19:40 Drew What do you mean?

1:19:42 Caller He's very strict and he's just very religious, and it's like I didn't have any contact with anybody who obviously would have done anything like that would get them put in jail.

1:19:50 Drew How did she get to you then now? Excuse me? How did she get hold of you?

1:19:54 Caller I moved out.

1:19:55 Drew I see. I see.

1:19:56 Adam And your mom called you when she was out of prison?

1:20:01 Caller No, she's in prison right now.

1:20:02 Adam I know, but Drew said, why didn't she talk to you for a year and you said she was in prison?

1:20:07 Caller No, because yeah, she's in prison also.

1:20:09 Adam I know, but she called you from prison?

1:20:11 Caller Yeah, at 1 a.m. now.

1:20:13 Adam Okay, so why didn't...

1:20:15 Caller Because my dad wouldn't let me in.

1:20:16 Adam All right, well then say that, please. Jesus Christ. Okay, so your mom called you from prison to tell you she was a lesbian?

1:20:25 Drew Yeah. Yeah, that's nice.

1:20:27 Adam That's nice. And...

1:20:28 Drew We need some hallmark cards on this one.

1:20:29 Adam Hey, could you... and to take some golf clubs and bake them into a cake?

1:20:39 Caller I don't know if I'm comfortable with it.

1:20:40 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. Listen, if I were you, Katherine, I'd hire a drifter to kill my mom. I'm thinking about doing that to my mom. All right.

1:20:49 Drew But are we thinking that this is just because she was abused and she's an addict and has a little vision? Or is it just that she's been living there with women all the time?

1:20:57 Adam Listen, Katherine, listen to me. I'm your new mommy and Drew's your second mommy. Do you hear me now? You have no mommy anymore. It is very sad. I'm very sad for what I have to do. I really am. And I hate to have to give this advice out and I give it out more than I'd like. But here's the bottom line. Your mom is screwed up.

1:21:20 Caller Yeah.

1:21:20 Adam And she may never be right. And the more you need her, want her, love her and want her to be right, the more pain and disappointment is going to come in your life. You sound like a pretty intelligent self-sufficient young lady.

1:21:38 Caller Thank you.

1:21:39 Adam And you don't sound nearly as whacked out as you should be considering where you're from. So, here's what you have to do now. You need to focus on your own ass.

1:21:49 Caller Okay.

1:21:50 Adam If mom somehow finds Jesus Christ and dumps her lesbian lover and cleans up with the drugs, then maybe you can talk one day.

1:21:58 Drew But the lesbian part is no big deal. It's just part of a chaos and confusion.

1:22:05 Adam One more head trip to land her poor daughter who's already had enough to deal with. So here's the deal, Katherine. You have no mom. You're on your own. You've got your whole life ahead of you. It can be exciting. It can be full of challenges. Just take it on and get on with it.

1:22:24 Caller Okay.

1:22:25 Drew All right?

1:22:27 Adam Use your friends. You have friends?

1:22:29 Caller Yeah.

1:22:29 Adam Good. It's fine. Listen, that's the way I felt. I moved out of the house. I was 19. I didn't like my parents. I didn't have anything to do with them. They didn't give me anything. I had a whole bunch of good friends and that was my family. We peed and farted on each other.

1:22:43 Drew We lived in New York City over the gang.

1:22:45 Adam It was wonderful. Yeah.

1:22:46 Caller I wish I had a gang to join.

1:22:48 Adam Cody?

1:22:50 Caller Yeah.

1:22:51 Adam You're 22. What's up?

1:22:53 Caller Yeah. I got a question for Drew.

1:22:54 Drew Yeah.

1:22:55 Caller Yeah. I got in a little trouble today at work. I got put on a four-day suspension for starting a fight. I wonder if there's any kind of pill that can suppress anger like that or make me a little more calm.

1:23:07 Caller There it is.

1:23:08 Adam I'm browning.

1:23:09 Drew You first need...

1:23:10 Caller Well, do you do drugs or alcohol?

1:23:11 Caller No.

1:23:12 Drew First, you need a what?

1:23:14 Caller I drank a little bit on the weekend since I turned 21, just at bars and stuff.

1:23:19 Drew You need an evaluation by psychiatrist so they can try to figure out what the diagnostic situation is with you that's causing some of these anger outbursts. There are medications that can help control impulsivity, decrease irritability, and maybe even stabilize your mood.

1:23:36 Adam Really?

1:23:36 Drew Well, some people are getting the fights because they're irritable and depressed, so antidepressants don't help.

1:23:40 Adam Put that right in the drinking water supply.

1:23:42 Drew Drugs like Prozac can help with impulsivity, and some of the mood stabilizers can help too.

1:23:46 Adam I'm going to dump that right in the reservoir. It's part of my regime.

1:23:52 Drew It needs to be evaluated by somebody.

1:23:54 Adam All right. We're going to take a little break. I'm going to go evaluate the toilet.

1:23:59 Drew Evaluate it?

1:23:59 Adam That's right. See if it's fit for my whiz. What are we going to talk to when we come back? We got the lightning round when we come back.

1:24:07 Drew Oh yeah. We're going to take it to whoever.

1:24:10 Adam That is very solid. All right. Get it strapped in. The lightning round is coming at you when we come back. This is Adam Carolla.

1:24:25 Caller This is Dr. Drew.

1:24:26 Drew Stay tuned for Love Line on The Zone.

1:24:28 Adam This is Adam Carolla.

1:24:29 Drew And this is Dr. Drew.

1:24:30 Adam And you're listening to Love Line on The Zone 105. Let's just check the time real fast. It's 1144 in 15 seconds. That is 15 minutes and 45 seconds away from the time of the hour.

1:25:32 Caller Straight up. I'm Ace Rockolla.

1:25:36 Adam And he is hot, hot, hot.

1:25:39 Caller Let's hop back on the phone.

1:25:40 Adam Let's try this. Nice speaking to Jason. Jason is 18 years old.

1:25:45 Caller Jason, what's happening? What's happening, guys?

1:25:49 Caller What's up, sucker?

1:25:53 Caller Yeah.

1:25:57 Caller What's up, sucker?

1:26:01 Caller First of all, you guys rock. You guys are like totally awesome. My question is, I like to get high on marijuana. Oh, yeah.

1:26:12 Adam I'm hearing that, brother.

1:26:14 Caller Okay. Well, when I'm high, I like to masturbate.

1:26:19 Drew Whoa.

1:26:23 Caller It sounds like he's living it. Because like when you're stoned and you're-

1:26:29 Caller You tell me you take a nap when you're done and I'm going to explode.

1:26:33 Caller It like intensifies the pain.

1:26:34 Adam That's right. Yes, it does. Thank you for that insight. Let's check the time. It's 11.45 in 30 seconds. That's 14 minutes. 30 seconds away. The way of adopting the outer straight up. How many is Rockolla? He's smack dabbing in the middle of the line, dude. You're on Loveline. Let's hop back on the phones again, Drew. But some of these calls. See if we can help out. What's his brand?

1:26:57 Caller I don't know.

1:26:57 Drew He'd ask you.

1:26:58 Caller Well, hello.

1:26:59 Adam Jason? Yeah. Yeah, so you get a little high, and you have at yourself.

1:27:03 Caller And then what, buddy?

1:27:05 Caller Well, I was just wondering if that would like damage anything, if it makes you sterile?

1:27:09 Adam No, it does not. Thank you for getting back to that.

1:27:11 Drew But the combo does, but the marrow will lower your sperm.

1:27:15 Adam Yeah, nothing wrong with a little lowered sperm, I'll tell you. You know what I call a lowered sperm? That's when I whack off out of the second-door window. That's lowered all right. Male man takes a birth, got it. Oh, no, it's 1146. Oh, what is that? 1146 in 20 seconds. That's 13 minutes, 40 seconds away. If nothing happens, straight up. It's like, I'm going to try to call it.

1:27:39 Caller That's my good-bye to Dr. Drew.

1:27:40 Adam That's how I'm going to close the gap. It's me and the gene, the mean gene, the common machine. 29 years old.

1:27:46 Caller Yes, my question for Drew.

1:27:49 Drew Go ahead.

1:27:50 Caller Is the tabloid safe?

1:27:54 Drew I know of no serious consequences, but it's not good for you.

1:27:58 Caller You're a big gal, Drew.

1:27:59 Drew It has a stimulant property to it.

1:28:01 Adam What's you're sporting around the gut there, Jeannie?

1:28:03 Caller I'm 50 pounds overweight.

1:28:05 Adam 50 pounds overweight.

1:28:06 Drew Get a dietician, get a regular exercise program, much better.

1:28:09 Caller What is it? Too many dieticians, drew.com.

1:28:12 Caller That's the one that says that Adam Corolla's new commercial that was out today, where he went flying over a wall, was funny as hell.

1:28:21 Caller Hot, hot, hot.

1:28:21 Adam Am I right, baby?

1:28:22 Caller Why?

1:28:23 Adam That's right.

1:28:24 Drew AT&T commercial?

1:28:24 Adam One take Corolla. They call me and they'll take me to the right place. You get that one.

1:28:28 Drew Let's check the time.

1:28:29 Adam It's 11.47 and 20 seconds. 12 minutes, 46. We have adopted the hour straight up. The witching hour, 12 midnight. I'm Ace Rockolla.

1:28:37 Caller This is my partner, Dr. Drew Loveline.

1:28:38 Adam You're smackin in the middle of the lightning round. The baddies love us. Let's hop back on the phone. Let's not forget where our bread is buttered.

1:28:45 Caller Hey, partner.

1:28:46 Adam And we'll speak to old Johnny. Johnny, 29 years old. Girlfriend's daughter has started flirting with the John Starr. What's that?

1:28:55 Caller What's up, buddy?

1:28:56 Adam Girlfriend's daughter started flirting with you?

1:28:58 Caller You bet.

1:28:58 Caller Hey, one thing I want to compliment you on your social uncandor. You know, black people in the face with the truth, they don't know how to act.

1:29:06 Caller Yeah.

1:29:07 Caller Basically, they are f***ed on their legs.

1:29:08 Adam Thank you, Johnny.

1:29:09 Caller Okay. This is what's up. I've been together with this chick about 8, 10 years, right? I watched your daughter grow up. Yeah.

1:29:18 Caller And she's grown very nicely.

1:29:20 Caller That doesn't mean she's a bad guy.

1:29:22 Drew How old is she? She's thirteen.

1:29:24 Caller Yeah.

1:29:25 Caller She's developed breasts.

1:29:26 Caller What girl doesn't?

1:29:27 Adam She's a nice piece of ass, isn't she, Johnny?

1:29:30 Caller It's quite sweet.

1:29:31 Caller But, you know, I'm with her mama, so that boys that what she does is she kind of peeks at me. She rubs her breast against me. She models clothes that are kind of, you know, flawny kind of.

1:29:44 Adam And you're only flesh and blood, right, John?

1:29:47 Caller Yeah.

1:29:47 Caller Flesh, blood and a hole, right, honey?

1:29:49 Caller Yeah. John, she's married, so she might not work out. John.

1:29:53 Caller Oh, my God.

1:29:54 Adam Hey, Jenny, how old is your old lady?

1:29:57 Caller She's 30.

1:29:58 Caller 30 years old. Very nice woman.

1:29:59 Adam Got herself a nice 13-year-old.

1:30:01 Caller She walked off the end of the earth for me.

1:30:02 Drew This guy's an asshole, no doubt.

1:30:04 Adam That's right.

1:30:05 Caller Hopefully, land on a better planet.

1:30:06 Adam When they do, we're not. Oh, yeah, I kid him, but I love him.

1:30:09 Caller Hey, there, Doug Drew.

1:30:11 Adam Think about that, buddy.

1:30:13 Caller He's been with a girl for nine years.

1:30:15 Drew Yeah.

1:30:16 Caller Has a child that's nine years.

1:30:18 Caller She's 13 years old.

1:30:20 Drew Let's check the time.

1:30:21 Adam It's 1149 and 15 seconds. That is 10 minutes and 45 seconds away from the top of the hour.

1:30:26 Drew Straight up.

1:30:27 Adam The witch in hour 12 looks like Ace Rockolla.

1:30:30 Caller I mean, Ace Rockolla is my partner.

1:30:32 Drew John, the young girl has got to figure out who they are as they become.

1:30:36 Adam Well, she's strutting around the apartment like some kind of cheap French hooker.

1:30:41 Caller What's the man supposed to do?

1:30:44 Drew She's a little disturbed and she's trying to grapple with this.

1:30:47 Adam Well, look at it this way.

1:30:48 Drew You got to set boundaries. She's starting on the road to real trouble if you let that happen.

1:30:53 Adam John, put it this way. You were her father figure her entire life. Think about what kind of shape you'd be in if you were your father figure your entire life.

1:31:00 Caller Proof of that by the way. Let's hop back on the phone and speak to Carol.

1:31:02 Adam Carol is 20 years old. Carol, what's going on there, man?

1:31:06 Caller You're an absolute nut, Drew. I don't know how you put up with them in times like this.

1:31:09 Caller Carol, hold on.

1:31:10 Adam Let's check the time. It's 1150 straight up.

1:31:13 Caller It's a lot.

1:31:14 Adam What's your question?

1:31:15 Caller I'm about to have a love life.

1:31:16 Adam I love that lightning round.

1:31:18 Caller Two questions.

1:31:20 John Adams I want about 150 milligrams of Dr. Cyclone Anabiotic today. I'm just curious. I'm on depot. I'm curious if that affects it in any way.

1:31:26 Drew It would affect the normal contraceptive pill, the birth control pill. I don't know if it affects the depot. I'll tell you the truth.

1:31:32 Adam She's on the depot.

1:31:34 Drew I will check that out. Okay? She's gone.

1:31:37 Adam Well, that was quick. All right. Let's check the time. It's a good enough time. Whenever we get a break, I like to check the time. It's 1150 in 35 seconds. That is 9 minutes and 25 seconds. Wave from the top of the hour straight up. Let's hop back on the foes. We got Gaines over there on line 5. Gaines or Grant. Grant is forever.

1:31:56 Caller Ever stop me.

1:31:58 Adam 14 years old. We're going to hop back.

1:32:00 Caller Wait a minute. Let's check the time again.

1:32:01 Adam It's 1150 and now 55 seconds. That's 9 minutes and 5 seconds away from the top of the hour. Straight up. Got to light it around. Love, Love, Dr. Drew and Loveline. Grant? Yeah. You're 14 years old. What's going on there, brother?

1:32:15 Caller Yeah, my mom, she's a stripper and just recently got an offer to get in a porno video.

1:32:22 Adam All right. You're going to get that new Nintendo if it kills you, right, partner?

1:32:27 Caller No, it's just we're kind of Catholics.

1:32:30 Adam Right.

1:32:30 Caller We're Christians and Catholics and I'm just got accepted to a school.

1:32:34 Drew You and your mom are Catholic?

1:32:36 Caller Yeah.

1:32:36 Adam Hey, partner, let me ask you a question here hypothetically. I don't know. I know they have Christian rock. They have Christian porn?

1:32:43 Caller I don't know.

1:32:44 Drew Christian strip.

1:32:45 Adam Christian strip? Write that down, Drew.

1:32:48 Caller I'm going to put some money in.

1:32:50 Adam What's going on? So, she's Catholic, right? Do you think about doing a...

1:32:56 Caller Yeah, whatever.

1:32:59 Adam And why do you know about this, partner?

1:33:01 Caller Because she's asking me advice for it.

1:33:03 Caller Oh, my God.

1:33:04 Caller And so, she just wants to know... There's going to be sex in the video. She wants to know if it's a form of prostitution because she's kind of worried about that and if anyone finds out, you know...

1:33:15 Drew Why doesn't she talk to her clergy about it?

1:33:17 Caller That's not appropriate.

1:33:18 Adam You talk, that's between her and her five gods.

1:33:21 Caller You understand?

1:33:22 Adam All right, buddy, don't... I'm sorry, Mommy's loony, loony is a toon, brother.

1:33:27 Caller All right.

1:33:27 Adam Don't let it ruin you, buddy. Is Daddy around? Dad? Where's the...

1:33:33 Caller He's in Denver.

1:33:36 Adam Okay, here.

1:33:37 Caller Granny's talking clergy about it.

1:33:38 Adam She loves Dr. Mott and is a man of the cloth. And I'm a man of the cloth, too, you know, and his angelic spread out in my belly for it, man. That's the way I want myself. Yeah. That is a man of the cloth. It's 1152 and 40 seconds. It's a way to adopt the hour chance back down in the middle. I'm Ace Rockolla. That is my partner, Dr. Drew. What do you want to go, Drew? Nine, six.

1:34:04 Drew You're talking about cloth, Joe?

1:34:05 Adam Big to Joe.

1:34:06 Drew And cloth.

1:34:07 Adam Joe is an 18 years old girlfriend, wife to herself with a rag full of his semen. That's love. I want to know if she's pregnant now.

1:34:17 Caller Yeah.

1:34:17 Drew When did this happen?

1:34:19 Caller About a week ago.

1:34:21 Adam Now, was this a pre-semen soaked rag that comes in one of those new dispenser bags?

1:34:27 Caller No.

1:34:27 Adam No, it wasn't. It was just something you got the other day.

1:34:30 Drew That's where you mix the semen with the bag.

1:34:32 Adam I understand. I usually wipe myself with a cat and leave a tube stock for the gals. I guess chivalry is dead, huh buddy? She's not pregnant.

1:34:40 Drew Don't you worry about it.

1:34:41 Caller She could be, but nothing can do about it now.

1:34:42 Adam That's alright. She didn't twist it up into a form of a phallus and put it up in her, did she buddy?

1:34:49 Caller No, I'm not.

1:34:50 Adam She ain't no pregnant.

1:34:52 Caller Okay.

1:34:52 Adam You know you got a whip when she eats that, right? Right, buddy? Hi, buddy. That is how bad it was. It's 11, 1153 and 55.

1:35:06 Drew Six minutes and five seconds.

1:35:08 Caller Wiped out the hour.

1:35:09 Adam Stayed up my ears where I go. That's my good buddy, my buddy, Dr. Drew. Wait a minute. Is that about it for the lightning round?

1:35:15 Caller That's about it.

1:35:15 Adam Well, now that I've put the bet, I'm gonna thank Miller General Dr. for coming in here and sponsoring the lightning round. Remember, anytime's Miller Time. All right, we're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back with the Red Fathers Show, right after this.

1:35:29 Drew We about to get funky, yo.

1:35:32 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:35:35 Caller Oh, we'll be right back.

1:35:37 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

1:35:39 Drew This is Dr. Drew. Stay tuned for more Love Live on the Zone 105.

1:35:42 Adam This is Adam Corolla.

1:35:44 Drew This is Dr. Drew.

1:35:45 Adam And you're listening to Love Live on the Zone 105. Well, there he is, everybody. Another fantastic show.

1:36:05 Drew Great lighting, Ron.

1:36:06 Adam I want to thank my partner, Dr. Drew, for doing a wonderful job tonight, of course, and of course, Ace Rockolla for sliding in here and taking over during the lighting.

1:36:13 Drew Here's a fact, Adam. Did you have a huge afro in the 70s with a pick sticking out of it?

1:36:17 Adam No, not a pick. It was a broken off penis. Now, my dad had the pick with the black fist on it, the black fist pick. Oh, sure. He was a brother. I had a medium size fro in the later 70s, early 80s. Nothing long. Maybe about a year or so. But my dad really had the fro.

1:36:39 Caller How you doing?

1:36:40 Drew Look at your hair.

1:36:41 Adam Clear tint glasses, pants that laced up in the front and back. I still didn't get an ounce of tail. So let that be a lesson to you. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:52 Caller Good night.

1:36:53 Caller Ha ha.

1:36:54 Adam Well now.

Episode Feedback

Thursday, March 23, 2000